Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - How To Trans Your Kid

Episode Date: May 5, 2020

This week Andrew Schulz, Akaash SIngh, AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon discuss why Hollywood makes black men wear dresses, the greatest living actor, at what age can your kid transition, the only way to celebrate your homie's birthday and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2

what's up everybody amazing news we're gonna get right into it no introductions necessary all right just kidding shultzy here akash alex media mark gagdon okay now we're gonna get right into it uh big time news not kim jong-un being alive still that's amazing uh but joe exotic has a movie it's coming out and who is. And who is playing Joe Exotic? Who do they have signed on? The motherfucking goat. Who? The motherfucking goatee, Nicolas Cage.

So, real talk, and I'm being 100% serious here, and I think a lot of people judge this, they judge this opinion, but I'm being 100% serious when I say this. I think Nicolas Cage is the greatest living American actor. And I know you're laughing. You're laughing? I'm being dead serious when I tell you this?

Nicolas Cage? No, no, no, no, no. You got to check the facts, dude. Oh, gosh. I said living. I said living. I said living. I said living. You took me out of character.

I was ready to be hyped. No, no, no. No, no, no. I mean this sincerely. Like, I understand he's become kind of like a joke or whatever. But if you look at the body of his work, if you look at the body of his work, where do you want to start? You want to start at the titties? Where do you want to start? The American Treasure. You want to start at the body of his work where do you want to start you want to start the titties

where do you want to start the american treasure you want to start a national whatever it is national treasure you want to start the titties right national treasure too it's a fun time it's a fun time it's a good but because of him he's doing tricks he's doing hijinks he's doing english accents to get him out of things right he's doing tricks. He's doing hijinks. He's doing English accents to get him out of things. Right? He's finding a map. He's putting on the glasses. There's more shit in the map.

And hijinks. It's Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny be doing hijinks. Yo, that's how great Nicholas was. He could take that. That could be his motivation. And I know people think that I'm crazy. The greatest living American actor.

Marlon Brando. Was he American? He dead, though. The greatest living American actor. Marlon Brando. Was he American? He dead, though. Dead. Dead, though. Dead. There's other guys. De Niro.

De Niro. No, De Niro's not as good as Nicolas Cage. Okay. All right. I think I know where you're going with this. Nicolas. De Niro's amazing at being De Niro. Pacino's amazing at being Pacino.

Right. Nicolas Cage. Yeah. Can be anything. Hmm. A motorcycle guy with a skullfire head. That movie was kind of fun. That's what I'm saying.

He makes something for everyone. National Treasure 1, National Treasure 2. Did they do a third? Probably. Maybe. Okay. Think about it. Gone in 60 seconds.

Okay. Tell me that wasn't fire. She was fire when I was 15. Shelby. Shelby. Shelby. That's Shelby, that GT. All right.

The relationship he had. You're starting. Smoked out Angelina. Smoked her out. Smoked her out. He threw that fucking smoke bomb. She came out like. There's so much smoke in here.

Where's Nicholas Cage to save me? Right? I'm not all the way on board yet, but I'm rolling. Keep going. The plane hijack movie where they break out of Con Air! Thank you!

Con Air, son. They took out the fucking Hard Rock Cafe sign. Yo, Con Air. Got Chappelle in it. Got Hard Rock Cafe sign. Yo, Con Air. Got Chappelle in it. Got the goat in it. They have Chappelle's in it, bro. I've never seen that. Okay, Con Air.

It's a bunch of... No, they're flying the... Son, it's a plane full of convicts. John Malkovich. John Malkovich is in it. Cyrus the Virus, yo. Cyrus the Virus, yo. That's the first dap since Corona.

We back. Oh, yeah. Disgusting. We back, Al. Don't be soft. Nah, get out of here. Okay? since Corona. We back. Oh, yeah. Disgusting. We back. Don't be soft. Nah, get out of here. Okay? Check it.

Con Air. Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse. Who was he? Get off your Google, son. Peter Parker and Spider-Man Noir. Whoa. Because that's something you didn't even know about Nick Cage. That's something you didn't even know.

I thought he was the pig one. Whoa. That's something you don't even know about Nick Cage. Nick Cage pig one. That's something you don't even know about Nick Cage. Nick Cage will be in shit that you don't even fucking know about. Okay? Con Air. Didn't he do something with Dead Man Walking? Didn't he win an Oscar for that?

Sean Penn? Nah, nah, nah. There's another one. Hold on. It's on my recall. Nice to remember that fucking movie. No, your recall is a little too good. I'm waiting for you to say the one OG movie.

Leaving Las Vegas. Face off. There we go. Oh, I was saving you. Oh, that's what I'm waiting for you to say the one OG movie. Leaving Las Vegas. Face off. There we go. I was saving you. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, right now, you're just warming us up. You're just tickling the clit real quick. Here we go.

Like that right there. What's it called? 60 Seconds? Okay. Your orgasm is about to be called 60 Seconds. Okay. We're going to get to Face Off in a second. But he did some Las Vegas movie.

Leaving Las Vegas. Leaving Las Vegas. I didn't see it, but people spoke about it. I don't know about that one, bro. Apparently it was good. I think it won an Oscar. No, I heard it. So every movie just won an Oscar.

There's a lot of Oscar winners out there. Oh, shit. Say it. He got a couple critical darlings. Say it. He got Leaving Las Vegas. The one where he's on death row out there. Oh, shit. Say it. He got a couple critical darlings. Say it. He got Leaving Las Vegas. The one where he's on death row. No, no, no.

A comedy mad people like Raising Arizona. Oh, my God. Son. Oh, my God. We do sleep on Nick the Quick K. Nick the Quick is out here. Put you in a fucking sleeper hold. Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah.

Like that. This is what happens. when you thought you're like oh there's the best actor is robert de niro got you you're tapping out what mark fast times of ridgemont high oh my god you can't make that movie without nick serving the burgers son so you see mad nicholas cage movies we all have face off let see mad Nicolas Cage movies. Yo, we all have. We all have. Face off. Let me just tell you about.

Low key, we all have. Fim. The dynamic. I mean, how dynamic an actor are you with face off? You start as good guy. Bad guy. You know. Yeah.

You start as bad guy. Switch that up. Good guy. Seamless. You don't even notice the like it's amazing how that acting was unbelievable unbelievable i saw some indie movie with him adaptation oh my god give me more hey are you on his imdb just name a random movie name a random movie you want a random i want just go like this and then stop it the ant bully what man come on mark you said a random movie that's how prolific my man is go

like this and then stop and then hit a good one all right oh but a good one or stop just don't matter some of these are kind of bombs bro snake eyes Snake Eyes. He never bombs. All right, what about Amos and Andrew? I was probably going Snake Eyes. What was that one? Snake Eyes. Something about boxing and casinos. I didn't watch it, to be honest. Look, all I'm saying is Nick Cage gets slept on.

He is, without a doubt, the greatest. Wicker Man, bro. What? Wicker Man? We said that already. Listen, Mark. Who said Wicker Man? We said Wicker Man before.

I would not say Wicker. That's too uncomfortable a word. Oh, we didn't? All right. Listen, Mark. Who said Wicker Man? We said Wicker Man before. I would not say Wicker. That's too uncomfortable a word. Oh, we didn't? All right. Listen, Al. I'm on a mission. Look, I understand there are certain things about Nicolas Cage that you judge him by, okay?

He's had a horrible hairpiece his entire career. Oh, oh. Entire career. I know. It looks like a tumbleweed. That's what his hair. He goes like this. Just this one movie. I'm going to say it, I'm going to leave it here.

You guys decide what you feel about it. The Rock. Oh, shit, The Rock is hot, yo. Escape, that movie where they escape from the fucking Alcatraz movie. Alcatraz shit. They got to sneak in. Bro, that shit is hot. They got to sneak in.

That shit is fire, yo. You got to escape in. The Rock and Sean Connery. Oh shit is fire, yo. You got to escape in. The Rock and Sean Connery. Oh, my God, son. Is he the biggest actor that made the most straight-to-DVD movies? Because I don't think these were in the movie. Yo, these were in the movie. The Rock was a big hit, yo.

The Rock was a massive sensation. I'm never even going to lie. It was a massive sensation, bro. I think at some point he was making like 20 plus million a movie. He had a lot of flops. Real talk. All jokes aside, he had a lot of flops, so we forget how many bangers he had. He didn't have a lot of flops.

He didn't have a lot of flops. He released movies like albums. You know what I'm saying? He put out nine movies, ten movies. That's the album? That's the album. He put it all at the same time. You know, he got a couple singles in there.

He got a couple bangers. And then he got a couple Amos and Andes. that's how he works but he can do comedy he can do drama he can do action he did a movie where he was like uh he did some indie shit he did a movie where he was like a robber and then this girl like says he's she's his daughter and it's like some crazy like ah yep and that movie got a lot of people You know what I'm saying though I do bro He does Nah I do know

What he's saying Nah I know What he's saying And then he gotta Get his daughter He gotta get his daughter back Yup Something like that

He gotta get his daughter back Something like that And he gotta Stop his robbing ways Something like that Yup Something like that And yeah I remember that

And then he's all like I love you And she's like I love you That's the one I wasn't there for you Cause I was robbing Cause I'd be robbing and shit

Yeah that's the one Son Nick Cage is a boss Yo which movie do you think Would be a million times better Shut the fuck up Bro Nah this is important bro

This is mad important bro I never mean it It's just funny timing This is mad important bro I never mean it Hey here are two boxes Pick out which box Has the best

Yo that box shit was trash which box has the best... That box shit was trash, bro. That's the best DVD on English TV. Bro, that box shit was trash. I had someone message me on Instagram about the box shit. He goes, I'm not going to lie, I'm English.

And that was scintillating podcasting. Let's go. Maybe there's something about us, but I was loving every minute of that shit. We're blowing up in London, dog. All right, go. Which movie is better with Nick Cage in it? Okay, go.

Which one do you think? Oh, Godfather. As who? Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. If he was Kane, that shit was slap. Facts? I got to see the Citizen Kane movie. No he was Kane That shit was slap Facts I gotta see this Citizen Kane movie

Nah you don't Son that shit is Is mad Old son I thought this shit Was in the 80s I was watching The play of it

Yeah I thought it was The 80s I thought that shit Was the 80s bro Son I thought it was Gone with the wind In like 79

Son this shit is 1941 Son I didn't even know It had color I thought Is it gonna be sound When I'm watching The preview for it You can watch the previews Cause we looked at Every Oscar winning film Yeah That shit is 1941? Son, I didn't even know it had color. I thought, is it going to be sound? I'm watching the preview for it. You can watch the previews because we looked at every Oscar winning film.

Yeah. And we were like. Oh, you hella bored. We were bored. We're like, we're not shit to watch. And we saw Citizen Kane. And then there's another with 12 angry men. How the fuck do you think Citizen Kane was the 80s? Time don't matter, bro.

It's like, it's a flat circle. $20 was $100 10 10 years ago i think it was now that i think about it i'm doubling down on that i think it was if snickers was five cents back then back when back then but back when back then snickers if snickers was five cents back then. The first Snickers was 5 cents. If Snickers was 5 cents back then and now it's a dollar. How much was King Snickers in the 80s? Do that math.

I can't even. You fucking black crackers. Just do that. You know what's up? Mark found we got to share with the people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently, there was a Negro baseball team in Atlanta called the Atlanta black crackers The ABC yo, whoa Jersey's they're really good. They were good people like them Well, they were the best team in the league or something like that, right?

You're saying the crackers were busting all the other black guys. Yeah, bro Is whipping him to death Black guy's ass. Yeah, bro. He's whipping him to death. Poor Al. What do you think is more famous now on the podcast? Al's laugh or his exhale when we say something incredibly offensive? And he knows he's going to have to deal with 15 DMs like,

how you going to let them say that? Yo, Finn, you're going to hold us down. You're supposed to be silent when they make fun of every other race and religion. But when they make fun of us, you're supposed to step in. Oh, man. Everybody does that shit. That is so true. That is so fucking true.

So have we proved that Nick Cage is the greatest? Living. I didn't say dead. Living. All right. Make the case. Nick Cage is better than... He's not better than Kevin Spacey

Kevin Spacey is the best That's who I was gonna bring up Why? Were you really? Yeah Okay Kevin Spacey is the best I will give you that Kevin Spacey is the best

Kevin Spacey is Cause the kid diddling Say what? Cause the kid diddling He never touched kids Yes he did No he didn't The boy was like 14

No 18 No he wasn't He was, bro. Once you say you're gay, you become 18. Okay. That's how it works, bro. I didn't get that, though.

Once you come out of the closet, it's like a gay bar mitzvah. You're an adult now in the eyes of gays. They're ready to feed. But I think the guy was 18, huh? Nah, he was like 15. He was 18 or 17? I heard 14, maybe 15. Yeah, like what story did you know?

Mark, stop acting like you don't know this by heart, bro. Come on. You've been at the bottom of the story, bro. Mark was the kid. I know, I know. I can tell you exactly how old I was. All right, go. He was, oh my God, the kid's last name is R-A-P-P.

Rap. Yeah. Yeah, okay. And he said he was 14 when it happened. When what happened? He might have been at a party. Were he supposed to be 18? Making sexual advances.

Yeah, that's a little crazy. Kevin Spacey didn't walk that back, son underwood come on bruh can't be out here fucking 14 year old son he doubled down though like when he like came out as frank underwood and made like oh i'm gonna get all the people talking bad about me did you see that son that was the realest shit ever son so funny son that was a real yo imagine loki imagine uh who the fuck played thanos josh brolin yeah imagine josh brolin caught a me too and he came out there like listen if you don't make this disappear that's how you gotta do it you You gotta come out in character, bro. That's a fucking, what's that guy?

Pee-wee's Playhouse. That's what he should have done. What? When he was jerking off in the movie theater? Yeah. He should have just come out as fucking Pee-wee. Wait. Does he talk regular?

Man, get the fuck out of here. Pee-wee talks regular? Yeah, yo. You mean he just goes, hey, hello, I like Coca-Cola and some fries. Like he'll say that sentence? No, if he's trying to diddle. He was in other shit. I thought that's when he was putting on the accent.

When he was in Blow? Yo, he was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer? That's a slept on fucking show, son. Show or movie? No, the movie. Son, that's a slept on movie. You know who directed that? Nicolas Cage, bro.

Nicolas Cage directed that movie. And you know what? You can't argue it. Nicolas Cage is like, isn't he like Francis Ford Coppola's son? That's what I'm saying. That's good stuff, yo. Who are these people? He made the Ford. He made the fucking car, bro.

That is not his son. That is not his son. Son, you never had a Ford? You never heard of Fords? Ford Mustang, Ford Coppola. Son, no bullshit. The 78 Coppola is like the fucking... Iconic car.

It's the car, yo. Iconic car. Come on, bro. What do you think cops put you in the back of? Francis Ford Coppola. And where do they take you? A cage. That's how he got his name.

Mark, he's redeemed himself from the boxes He's back Telling you greatest of all time Greatest actor of all time Nick Cage Big Dick Nick Thick Dick Nick That's what they call him on set

Thick Dick Nick Thick Dick Nick. Okay, I like that. Thick Dick Nick. Thick Dick Nick. Say it. Thick Dick Nick. Alright. Thick Dick Nick. Ooh, that was kind of dope. That shit felt thick. That shit felt thick coming out of my mouth.

I'll say it. Yo, I think I'm a housewife now. Okay. I thought you were going to say a different word after house. Yeah. Guys, I'm a housecracker. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I got to come out, man.

What happened, son? What did your girl make you do? I just like cooking and shit. And then yesterday I got excited because a fucking vacuum came from Amazon. Son! Yo! Son, I just ordered a vacuum. I'm so hyped, yo. I feel so bad. I can't explain it.

I was like, yo, my birthday was yesterday. I was like, I'm 36. Yo, that's it. It's over. Your birthday was yesterday? Yeah, I don't be talking about that shit. Yo. What?

We were all together yesterday. Yeah. What, you want to wish him happy birthday? Son, you're a horrible friend yo how do you not know his birthday i could not know his birthday why am i supposed to know his birthday you live together and we don't live together no more i don't know his birthday thank you i don't know your birthday it's in october i know that and it's near halloween but i don't know if it's on ha or around Halloween okay happy birthday

So much to me I can't gift for him. I got a gift for him. Keep talking. Keep talking. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yo, it better be that dick, yo. You better be coming over here with that dick. I got a new vacuum cleaner, bro. Chill, son. I'll show you a Dyson. Son, did you feel bad we didn't know your birthday? I honestly did not care. Truly.

All right, Al. Because I'm so masculine. Yeah. I baked vegan oatmeal peanut butter cookies. Son, you a vegan oatmeal peanut butter cookies. All right, ready? What's it called? Candle.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Okay, that's enough. Happy birthday, you sandcracker. Happy birthday, you sandcracker. Happy birthday to you. You missed the first one, son. How much saliva has it come out your fucking... Did you even try to use your lips?

I missed the first one. Why didn't you use your lips? This is bad corona all in that area right now. Son, that's proof that I have bigger lips than you. That's proof, because your lips couldn't even hold in your fucking saliva. They get in the way. Yo, they're too big. Bro, that was disgusting.

That's why the first one didn't go. It got in the way. It hit my lip. I think it hit my lip. Son, whatever, yo. And you breathed all over the... God, take the top one, please. I thought you weren't worried about Corona, yo.

Son, Corona's gone, dog. All right, let's see these cookies. Let's see what these cookies are all about, Al. We're going to try Al's. We're going to test Al's cookies live on air. I made them from scratch. Mm-hmm. Should have used some more scratch, bro.

Nah, not bad. I don't know, son. They're good. Maybe we could use them to put the glasses on or something. Actually, the aftertaste ain't bad. Son. What's the toughness of it? I don't know, nigga.

You're done with that, Arthur? Yeah. The fuck is a cookie? You're done with it? You don't want no more? No, I'm good. Why? I'm just, I ate too much shit yesterday.

What'd you do with your birthday? Yeah celebrating his birthday That we didn't know about Cause your horrible friend Didn't tell us Son Like what is a birthday? Nah I agree I don't get men

Who make a big deal about their birthday Yo shut up Let's just pile on him Oh you're right Oh yeah my bad Come on son Yo what's a birthday even though? I mean I don't know

Friends celebrating love And caring about each other Yeah but I celebrate that Every single day with you So every day's your birthday? I don't know Friends celebrating love And caring about each other Yeah but I celebrate that Every single day with you So every day is your birthday I don't know It should be You know I text him

Every time I wake up in the morning I go hey bro We're lucky for another day Love you man I'm glad we're in this together Except he didn't on my birthday Oh damn So on the one day

You're supposed to You didn't do it Yeah ain't that something Ain't that something Bro this is a celebration Of Akash's dad raw-dogging his mom, bro. We can't celebrate that.

It's actually not the celebration of it. Mark, that's not how pregnancy works. I don't know where they told you in Christian school. Indians have a one-year gestation period, bro. Oh, it's a little bit longer. I think, right? Okay, now, that is true. Nine months ago this day,

36 years and nine months ago This day 36 years And nine months ago This day Yeah Your dad Unloaded a fucking Mango lossy Right in them guts

Right in them guts Right in them guts Right in them guts Right in them guts Right in them guts Right in them guts Right in them guts Right in them guts

Right in them guts Right in them guts Right in them guts Right in them guts He was digging bro He was digging Hammering bro Like that

Do you think he gave her That hammer time Oh yeah You think it was pump pump pass yo ain't no passion ain't no passion yo no passion but lots of passion right pump pump oh you think he would slow it he let off them shots like now what do you think this you have me committed

that's my folks yo they should be having sex yo that's true you right man damn dog I was just weirder for you because you only got one parent I know I just got to think about my mom diddling herself over and over.

That's how you were born, bro? Mom, is it really true a stork dropped me off? Whatever happened to the stork, yo? You don't ever hear about the stork no more. Yo, man. That's true. Do kids still learn about the stork? Why is it a stork?

I don't know what a stork is, to be honest. It's a pelican. Why do they call it a stork? It's a different version. It was different about it. You know, they got four F-150s. They got four French. Ford Coppola. They got...

They got Storks. There's a lot of different types of these things, bro. Stork might be Alex's dad, bro. Wait, talk to me. Because this shit is built like Alex. Show the image. We got to get the image We gotta get the image We gotta get the dongle

So that we could It's got a nice little bracelet going Oh fuck His legs are a little skinny though Oh fuck That is a brolic ass upper body Yeah they do got chest Like the birds got good chest that's what we

eat from the birds yeah right yeah we eat their chest yeah you know chicken titties we do eat chicken titties when you think about it you know yeah but you never go to like the butcher and be like let me get a couple chicken titties we should start doing that i get two pounds of chicken titties imagine going to like a fucking churches and they ask what kind of part of the chicken you want the titties the titty oh boys okay i have some things happen that we should discuss what do you think oh there's something i want to talk about i don't remember what it was um oh mike tyson What do you think? Whoa. Happy birthday, Akash. There was something I wanted to talk about. I don't remember what it was.

Oh, Mike Tyson boxing. Bruh. Am I tripping or was that fucking incredible to see Tyson boxing at 53? If y'all don't know, there's a video on Twitter. If you go to Mike Tyson's Twitter, here you posted it of him boxing. And he's 53 right now. And he's just doing some pad work. And it's fucking insane to someone who doesn't know about boxing at least. And I'm curious to know if you do know about boxing,

is it just as impressive? Yeah, it's really impressive. I mean, what was the most impressive was the last punch. So like the combo, the one, two, three, I thought was kind of okay. But the last punch, that kind of like overhand right that was really short that he threw, I mean, you're dead. If he connects with that, you're dead. And the punch probably travels six inches. What is...

Unbelievable. Why is the overhand right the most impressive? Who did positioning? Still like... This is really hard to eat, Al. But... You're still eating it, though. You're going back. Like, he's in front of the guy with the pads for the one, two, three.

Right. Which is fine. And then he shifts slightly and throws the last punch, not straight, but over to his left. Like if you watch the video again. And basically what that is, is like if you see him throw the one, two, three combination, it's like closing distance. Okay. So it's two to the body and then he swings under. Right.

Right. To the body, to the body. I'm up under you. And then I'm under on the other side. He dips under and then comes over with that. Right. Watch the last right. Yeah.

It's like it just travels from his shoulder. Six inches. Okay. All the power behind it oh my god and he's out of your punching range so watch boom boom under you and slip to the side oh so beautiful now granted can you sustain this for 12 rounds of course not you know but it does go to show you like that muscle memory is there even at 53 years old i mean he just looks fantastic bro the guy catching pads for him frightened he looks legit scared i was wondering am i tripping or does he look legit his hands

shaking oh yeah and that last punch he catches he like he don't want no part of it yeah yeah nah bro i mean i just walked it up all right we go ahead even with the pad you're still that's gotta hurt those body shots even with that pad they gotta hurt do you think there's another boxer in history that is punching like that at 53 and i'm including foreman because he was known as the fucking knockout artist and i think knocked somebody out at like 45 right yeah so foreman came back and he was uh he came back really late in his career yeah and um when did evander holyfield keep fighting too i think evander holyfield kept fighting till really late too uh i would say that they maintain their power i mean foreman was arguably the hardest puncher ever i mean some people say frank bruno who is this british

right uh heavyweight but um i mean foreman that's my pop said that was the hardest puncher he'd ever seen like lift he literally lifted joe frazier off the canvas when he hit him really yeah like his feet come off the canvas a couple inches and then come back down. He hit him with like an uppercut. Right. So I think Foreman would maintain it. At that time, it's just like size and like coordination and body weight and just how you're built. Like speed is something that you're born with and punching power is actually something you're born with.

Some people just have it. Yeah. I could teach you how to punch harder than you're punching right now. Right. But some people just naturally have amazing punching power. It's just how they're built. Yeah.

Nothing you could do about that shit. Yeah. I can 100% see that. Oh, I guess- I wonder if coordination's like that too. Coordination, I think to a large degree, you get better, but you're born with it or you're not. Like if you play tennis with somebody

who's playing for one of their first few times and you get better, but you're born with it or you're not like, like if you play tennis with somebody who's playing like for their, one of their first few times and you're like, oh shit, you just naturally have this down. I've never seen that with like tennis, but that quickly, but it's just, again, yeah. Once you learn the form, it's just a matter of like, you ever seen some people try to throw and they just can't fucking understand how to bring the ball back. Yeah. And it just seems like like and it can be different in different sports like i knew i remember i had a friend who could hoop he was

nice but then we tried to teach him how to throw a football and he was in we were 18 he just couldn't fucking do it he was like throwing from here and it's like yo what the hell happened my dad said muhammad ali threw like a girl isn't that crazy dude he couldn't believe it fucking crazy he couldn't believe it he goes this is a perfect? He couldn't believe it. He goes, this is a perfect human specimen. This is the epitome of athleticism right here. This is what happens when everything works out. You have size, power, speed. And he threw like a girl.

Unreal. It's weird how coordination is so different. Yo, do you think... I'm scared about that. What, that your kid might be trashed? No, I forgot how to throw. We should have throwing. Yeah, I mean... No, no, no. No, no i mean because i don't want to lose that shit be like have throwing like we should all get a mitt in a base fuck baseball but you gotta know how to throw yeah so that when we have kids

we could throw with them yeah like we should just go up to the roof and all of us have our mitts and then at least two times a week just toss around We toss the ball for 20 minutes just to maintain the form. That's it. I think if you've done it enough when you're a kid, it always stays. Yo, son, yes. But God forbid it doesn't. And then we're out there looking crazy. No, that shit got to stay.

There's no way father-sons, white kids that learn to play catch from their dad and their dad just like training for it. No, but those guys back in the day were going to fucking World War II and throwing grenades and shit at people and it was like

you were actually throwing shit for a reason bro Andrew's training for his kid bro imagine that I am you have camp for your eventual children

I need to I need to go through a boot camp think about the men were throwing way more shit you throw the fucking dishes when your girl

will piss you off you were using your arm to using your arm that was like a frisbee that's like whop that's you know i mean throwing it at her like odd job but for real is it a thing of boxing where you can tell how good they are at a boxer based off just like how they carry themselves or like how they look or like how they walk. Oh, you could tell if someone's a boxer. Really? I think so. There's like a little hunch. Yeah.

Yeah. So boxers don't have good posture. It's because when you're in the ring, you kind of want to like shell up a little bit more. You're almost like a turtle in your posture. And so I can tell if a guy is if a guy has some boxing training, if he's a little bit hunched over, and oftentimes the shoulders roll forward. Like boxers don't walk around like this, like male models, that kind of shit. That being said, they usually just walk around like that in the gym. When they're out of the gym, that's pretty normal.

Or if you're in baggy clothes, pretty normal. But also boxers aren't big usually. Lean, right? Lean. Yeah, it hurts you to be big. Unless you're a heavyweight, you want to make the lowest possible weight

so you can maintain the power advantage. I remember I saw Amir Khan and he's the greatest boxer of all time, obviously. But I remember looking at him and I was like, oh, you don't,

it's cool that you are the greatest boxer of all time and, you know what I mean, never seen anything like this but you just look mad regular. You're just like 5'8", 5'9", just regular ass brown dude.

So some of our like biggest here boxing heroes are smaller than akash floyd mayweather wears i think like a size seven shoe maybe seven and a half something like that it's crazy like barely an adult isn't that crazy though how tall are you akash five seven five seven that's how most of our boxing heroes, that's probably what height they are. 5'7". Not heavyweights though, right? No, but our heroes.

Like the Floyd Mayweathers. I'm trying to think all the welterweights. Manny Pac, you know how small he is? He's smaller than me. I think he's 5'6". Manny Pac, Juan Manuel Marquez, Barrera, like all these guys, Mikey Garcia, all these guys that we watch constantly.

Even the guys that are popping now. What's his name? Lomachenko. Oh, really the guys that are popping now. What's his, what's his name? Loma Chenko. All these guys are tiny. I would probably tower over these guys. So you think, do you think Mayweather be able to take on like a big bouncer, like a six,

five, like regular, just big dude. Here's the thing. No, no. Why? Okay.

It's two things. If Mayweather connects, this is what happens. When you box, when you punch someone, two things happen. Two things happen. One, you're being punched at such a speed that you're not used to it, so you're being really caught off guard. And two, it's really precise.

So let's say he connected with that guy. I think he lays him down. I think he lays him down. I think he lays him down. If he doesn't connect, I don't think the other guy can catch him. I think he can move around, but he's not going to sit there and swing with him. He just can't. It's too much weight. 6'5", 260 pounds.

Most of these guys have played some sort of college ball. They're used to getting hit a little bit you know but it's like if he gets you in his grip it's a wrap it's a wrap he grabs you and then what's gonna happen yeah i just i mean there's a cool video of conor mcgregor fighting again like sparring fake sparring against the mountain from game of thrones oh yeah and the mountain just can't grab him connor's kicking him punching him keeping him at distance floyd could do that if it was in a ring floyd will easily outbox that 6'5 guy. If it's in a street fight, in tiny little quarters,

6'5 guy's going to eventually grab him. I think. Somebody had a, Brian, I think, had a captain question a couple weeks ago, like find an underrated person in each sport. I'd be very curious to know if you had a boxer that is like, this guy's criminally underrated. He doesn't get the credit he deserves. And I'm also like, I was seeing on Twitter,

and I didn't watch it. I still need to, but they were showing the first round of one of these Hagler-Hearns fights, and it'd be cool to revisit that because it just looked, again, I'm only watching like 20 seconds, but it looked like fucking crazy. Yeah, nonstop action, and it'd almost be cool.

I'm interested in hearing your knowledge on boxing because going back, I don't know nothing. There's one fighter. He's this Dominican dude. He fizzled out. He failed to make weight a few times and then just kind of fizzled out. But he was the most impressive guy I've ever seen.

He was like Roy Jones, but smaller. Really? I forget his name. They was like Roy Jones, but smaller. Really? I forget his name. They call him like something Tyson or something like that. He's a Dominican guy. I would remember his name. His YouTube stuff, I'm going to figure out his name. His YouTube stuff is unbelievable.

His hand speed is unbelievable. George Arias? No, no. He was like maybe recent, last 15 years, 10 years. Because when I watch old shit, there's nothing I've seen like Tyson. It's just, it was just so devastating. Yeah. And again, I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert, but when I'm watching it as a guy,

just the way he fucking laid out was at Spinks where he just broke his jaw in the first minute and he's just prowling around the ring before the fight like a caged animal, like a Nick caged animal, ready to unleash on this roll. And then he just fucking in a minute breaks a guy's jaw. He's done. Yeah. before the fight, like a caged animal, like a Nick Caged Animal, ready to unleash on this role. And then he just fucking, in a minute, breaks a guy's jaw. He's done. It was just like, yo, I don't know if we'll ever see anything like this again. Terrifying, right? And that's what I think about at 53.

Guzman? Joanne Guzman? How the fuck do you know him? No, I just Googled him. Oh. I thought you knew that. Joanne Guzman. And it's spelled J-O-A-N Guzman.

But yeah, you're 100% right about Tyson. It was just mayhem. You're watching a caged animal. It was the most exciting thing in the world. Devastating, dude. I've never seen anything like that. Dude, 100%. Check out this Jowan Guzman guy.

It was, and again, J-O-A-N Guzman. The speed and power. He does a lot of mitt drills that are unbelievable. He just stopped making weight, stopped taking it seriously. And it just really sucks because he was so fucking talented and he could have easily been one of the best ever. Those are always so sad to me. And you know what, actually, though?

That when you think about Michael Jordan and LeBron, it makes you appreciate them that much more. That's something. That's. Yeah, that's something we got to talk about is. A lot of times people stop progressing once they get what they want. They just didn't realize what they wanted. Yeah.

So a lot of these dudes that maybe come from the D.R. come from Cuba. All they wanted was a fucking house and some bitches and life is good. Yeah. Right. That wasn't enough for LeBron. That wasn't enough for Jordan. Yeah. And you got to put some respect on that.

Because as sports fans, we want to see greatness. We want to see shit that we can't even possibly fathom doing ourselves. Yep. And when you got a guy like Jordan, who somebody on the ticket said this, he is the most well-designed basketball player ever. If God said, let's make a basketball player, it is Michael Jordan. He's long, he's lean, he's super quick,

massive hands, incredible jumping ability, hang time, everything is perfect. And then he had the greatest drive we've seen of maybe any human being in American history. Just like competitively, I will not be stopped. LeBron is another guy. He's a body of like a fucking tight end, but then he's quick as shit,

great first step, great vision, all these gifts, and then to not be content with one championship, to not be content with, oh, I'm making $100 million. I'm good. Just say, I want to keep going. I want to chase Jordan.

We're really lucky that we get those guys that do both. LeBron and Melo came in together, but you see one person who has a drive versus one who just is happy that he made it there. Yeah. And Melo's drive is to be a billionaire. And he made his money.

He always took the biggest contract. Yeah. He went to New York because he wanted marketing. That's Melo. That was his drive. And he wanted, he was content with 20 points a game. Yeah.

If I got 20 and 10, I'm doing great, which is great, but it's not greatness. Yeah. And yeah, you got to put some respect on the guys who achieve the things that would make all of us stop and they keep going. They keep setting their sights higher. When most people, I always say this about comics is like, you get what you want. You just don't realize what you want. And there are a lot of comics who they just want a peer group they just want a community they just

want to hang out and the second they have that they stop working on their act and they stop pushing forward and they'll complain about other people getting shit and getting the same conversations that comics will get into but they never really wanted greatness right and that's why they stopped working harder and i would see all these guys on the way up and I'd be like, why, why aren't they doing it? Why aren't they trying something different? What's, what's going on? They didn't want any more than that.

There's a Kevin Hart thing that we've all seen that we, I think people kind of clown, but it's true. He says, everybody want to be famous. Nobody want to do the work. Nobody want to do the work. And I'll be honest.

I think a lot of people want a lot less than fame. Like if you ask comics, you ever hear a comic say this? I just want to make a living at it. Let me tell you something. You're not going to. You will only go as far as your dream. And that is the furthest you will possibly go.

Nothing past that. And you probably won't get there. Right? So you might won't get there. Right? So you might as well dream here so if you get halfway, you're selling out the fucking local comedy club or something.

Also, making a living as a comic never appealed to me because it's like, yo, I want kids. I want a family. I want to be there. I don't want to be, my kid is six years old,

but I can't be there for whatever the fuck he wants me to be at because I got to be at Yuck Y kid is six years old, but I can't be there for whatever the fuck he wants me to be at because I got to be at Yuck Yucks in Ontario. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, no disrespect to any club, but I'm not doing that on a Wednesday to make a living. That's not a life that interests me. Yeah.

So I just want to make a living. It's like, really? That's it? That's all you want? You don't want nothing else? That's the thing about dreams is they don't cost anything. That's why I don't understand why people- That's a bar, yo. But it's true. It's like, they don't cost anything that's why i don't understand why it's a bar yo but it's true it's like they don't cost anything so why are you so stingy with your dreams hmm like it's just such a weird thing to me you can literally say you want

anything and people are afraid to say that you might as well say hey i want to be i want to be the greatest ever hey i want to sell out the garden. So I agree with that, but just to play devil's advocate, if you set your dreams too high, you always feel like, oh, I haven't made it. Yeah. So it's like even though you'll have all these successes, like, ah, damn, but I still haven't made it. There's a gray area, I think, where you have to train yourself. And to be honest, I'm working on it now to say, like, yo,

because I used to be, yeah, I haven't done shit. But there's a, yo, I've done a lot, but I'm not not where i want to be and that's great that i've done a lot i still got a ways to go that's why i think you try to find that space as a person no that is a really good point because oftentimes yeah i feel like maybe you have to balance it with i guess what i would do like, I'd have like check-in periods of my progress. So I'd like force myself to acknowledge my progress. So where earlier in my career, it's like, okay, I wouldn't need to get up at the club. So how do I get up at the clubs? I got to get funny, but I also have to be on a TV show. So I have something to offer the club, right? I wasn't on a TV show yet. And I could be focused on not achieving that goal.

And how that was like, I guess, a failure every single day I wasn't. But what I would do is every few months I'd check in and go, what have I improved in the last two months? Oh, shit. I can actually just go on stage and tell a joke and like get the ball moving and like get some rhythm. Oh, wow. OK. Actually, I wrote this piece in like a short amount of time and it's really working or oh my crowd work's actually getting better i would check in on my improvements as long as i checked in on my improvements i felt like i was getting better yeah i was cool with not achieving that greater goal and i guess it's like having multiple goals along the way hey i wanted flavoring two to reach a hundred thousand subs right i really wanted that hundred now i want flavoring two to have 10 million subs

right but hundred thousand was a goal that was attainable and then there's like lifetime goals right i want to sell out a show at the orpheum okay that's one that's the beginning one i want to sell out the garden that's the next one and then after that who knows but i do i feel like you don't have to have just one goal. There can be many. Making a living can be a goal. Yeah. That shouldn't be the last. It shouldn't be the dream.

Yeah, it shouldn't be the dream. That's maybe a better way to look at it. There's goals and there's dreams. Goals are some shit that I want to attain. Dream is, this is the limit of what I want to attain. This is the sky. And then people fail when they put the goal as the dream. Yes.

When they're like, my one goal is to make a million dollars. And it's like, you realize that's not a ton of money in your lifetime. Yeah. You're like, okay, I should have made a higher thing. Yeah, make 10 million. And a million can be your first one. Yeah. Yeah, 100%.

All right, let's take a break for a second. Get your dicks hard. Get them dangalangs thick. Get them thick. How thick does your dick get when you pop that chew thicker for sure you get it gets thick oh yo can you grab all the way around on it oh like when you're grabbing all the way around on it is it like grabbing like a baseball bat or is it grabbing like a baguette so normally it's like a tic tac okay so normally you're just like around it but then after that it's like a like a fruit stripe gum you know what i mean

real talk it's more three-dimensional but with the wise but with wise i got you i'm with you point is guys if you're new to this podcast uh we only do hard dicks on this podcast simple as that we don't do nothing flimsy nothing floppy all right we are going hard dick only and the way you do that is you pop that blue chew same active ingredients since i uh see alice viagra all that bullshit only um it works twice as fast because you're actually chewing it down so you're not sitting there like an asshole waiting for your dick to get hard okay you chew that up when you know it's go time you got 20 minutes go down there lick that nana lick that

nana have you been eating box yeah yeah dick game as weak as mine you got to be nice that's what i'm saying so we out there al got the mic he wants to say something oh no i was just he's talking about eating box i was like oh might as well talk about it boots you make your tongue hard too that made my tongue like about two centimeters bigger when i eat box it makes everything sexual better real talk i'm out here eating box i'm going deep yo you with this tongue out that's how i got that pimple on my nose. How big those nipples get, though. My nipples? Yeah. Son.

Right? Honestly, dogs, are my nipples hard right now? Sometimes I'll take the chew and I'll rub it directly on the nipple before I chew it up. I'll just press it right on the nipple. I get a nice hard titty. I like fucking with a hard titty, yo. You like fucking with hard titties? Obviously.

Real talk. Sometimes you got gotta be out there so i take my beef i take that fucking top sirloin you know what i'm saying i take that prime rib and i take that chew and i make sure that shit is thick cut thick thick cut bacon make it crispy all right you know how i get it i get that shit for free all you gotta do is pay five dollars shipping you go to bluechew.com. Use that promo code flagrant. Okay. Bluechew.com promo code flagrant.

They're sending it right to your crib. You don't even have to go out to get that hard dick. You and your girl. That shit gets delivered. Okay. So make sure you pop that blue chew. Chew it up nice and good. If you want to get that hard extra thick tongue.

Leave it on the tongue for about three seconds before you chew it. Right? And then go to fucking town, dude. That's what I do. I think it's time to get back to the show. But enjoy, ladies. Enjoy, fellas. Akash, anything else?

Nah, you got it. These murder hornets. What the fuck is going on with this? Asians coming for it, man. There's a, I don't know if you guys heard about this, but there's an Asian murder hornet. Yeah, from Japan, I believe. Right? Yeah.

Is it Japan? Yeah. All right, that's fine. I want to pile on China, bro. Oh, okay, okay, okay. No, so, and what's the deal? They're like kamikaze hornets? How do they work?

Yo, they kind of are kamikaze hornets, aren't they? Yeah. They sting you, they die? They're five times bigger than a regular bee. So they eat on honeybees. Kill honeybees. I like that. So it's like they chop the head off and then turn their body into like a meatball.

So how do you like that? You love honey. Say what? You love honey. Since when I love honey? Bruh. You love all food and vegetables. Like, without honeybees, you don't have that shit.

Why not? Because they got to pollinate the fucking flowers and stuff. Oh. No, that's Mexican. Yeah, you can get Mexicans to do that. Wait, you don't need honeybees for that. What happens in a greenhouse? Is that how you fix the fucking...

What happens in a greenhouse? What? They don't got bees in a greenhouse? But they plant this shit in the ground that's what i'm saying problem solved we really don't need bees no more oh bees are out nah but like do we need bees real talk because i know you actually i mean for natural shit no no honey i enjoy i like a little honey. We can make honey. Thank you. You know what else I like actually better than honey?

If you make honey. Andrew ain't gonna do it. No, no. Only what? What do I like more than honey? Dick. Man, come on, bro. Get away my cigarettes.

Nah. Maple syrup. Oh, shit. That's honey without bees, bro. It's like Kramer, yo. It's violent That's honey without bees. Andrew looks like Kramer. It's violence. I came in weird. Stupid show Seinfeld is, right?

What a fucking dumb show. I love it. I came into your apartment weird. Hey, I'm in your apartment weird. Great character. Why is that show Zoot? Oh, I have a beef with the fucking mailman. Andrew hates any sitcom.

And I don't mean that as like a knock. He just doesn't get it. He just watches them. He's like, hey, I don't get it. Did you realize that these two things that weren't supposed to happen happened? Crazy. You're a hater, son. You're a hater.

So is it even me. I know. That's how much he's hated. How did these two things that weren't supposed to happen somewhat get aligned? End scene. It's so stupid. It's called comedy writing. Son, it's stupid.

These shows are dumb. It's called a story line. I watch Seinfeld. I'm like, yo, this shit is dumb. We might need a... Nah, son. Nah, son. What?

You off on this one, bro. I've watched it. Nah, bro. I've watched it. In that time, that was probably the best show i don't think there were other shows i'm telling you andrew just doesn't like sitcoms i've you talked about any yeah okay fair enough that's the exception that proves the rule i like fresh prince of bel-air did you i loved it really dead serious i loved it okay fair enough i like

beverly hills 90210 that's. Yeah. He likes two sitcoms. Yeah. That's it. In his life. I like Charmed. Charmed, yo. Charmed slap, bro. Who was the one?

Which one is that? That's the witches? Bosoms? Yeah. Which one was that? That's the bitch from 90210. Brenda. Shannon Dorothy.

Shannon Dorothy. She had some. Yeah. Chess booty. Yeah. She had some. Yeah. Some chest booty. And a Melissa Milano. She had some fucking chicken titties, bro. They had Alyssa Milano, Joe Biden's homegirl, yo. Yeah. Before all these bitches got on Me Too, they were getting stroked out in a magic show called

Charmed. Now, but if we're talking about Seinf don't i cannot buy that this show is that great i've watched episodes i've never watched an episode of seinfeld and went this was fantastic no it got so good that kramer with his dumb way he would come into a room you actually like got used to it and started believing it like oh that's really just how he is i think he's that way outside like when he walks into a room. You like Kirby enthusiasm. And he says, yeah, love Kirby. It's grounded.

It's grounded. There's realness in it. Seinfeld, everything is too character-y. I don't need grounded. And I don't mean that as like, I've noticed that. He's like, if it's not realistic,

he's not into it, I don't give a fuck. If I'm watching a show, my brain is off and I'm just, let's go. I'm in this world. I think it's because

he's watching it too late. If you were watching it in that time, Seinfeld's real, Elaine is real, and George is semi-real. I watched it in the time. They're all heightened. You just have to act it at the highest level. That's all sitcoms. George is getting irritated. Nobody talks like that.

But it's funny. I just, my brain, I don't need reality in the show. I just don't. To be funny, it doesn't have to be grounded. Exaggerate everything. You've never been to the hood, because there's some motherfuckers who just get upset, and they'll talk like reality in the show. I just don't. To be funny, I don't have to be grounded. Exaggerate everything. You never been to the hood because there's some motherfuckers who just get upset

and they'll talk like that in the street. Yeah, but not in the street. You just sound like Fat Albert a little bit. George getting angry. Hey, hey, hey. But for real. That's real shit. I just watched the show.

I saw the last episode where they went to prison or something. They went to jail. That's not the episode to watch. I saw a lot of the show. I saw the last episode. That's a bad episode. That's horrible. That's not the episode to watch. I saw a lot of the episodes. It would come on. I would hear everybody talking about it. So right now you're at home watching Citizen Kane.

You go back and watch some Sci-Fi. Yo, can I give you another hot take? Can I give you another hot one? I tried to start watching Sopranos. Trash. That's not that much of a hot take. Bro,opranos. Trash. That's not that much of a hot dude. That's hot. Trash.

Hey, bro. Let me stop. It's not trash, but it's just okay. Yeah. Ozarks is trash. I always thought it was just an okay shit. I'm with you on some of this shit. Sopranos is good.

Ozarks is not trash. Get the fuck out of here. Ozarks is not trash. Ozarks only trash when they went to the women empowerment season where like, bitches can launder money too. You can laundry. Bootleg Breaking Bad. Say what?

Bootleg Breaking Bad. Everything is going to be similar to something else, but the show independently, if there was no Breaking Bad, would still be good. Sopranos, relative to shows now,

I can see why it's not as good, but it, no show, Sopranos changed every other show. Before, TV shows were just like, yeah, sure, you watch it, and then the next week it's some different shit. Was no show, Sopranos changed every other show. Before, TV shows were just like, yeah, sure,

you watch it, and then the next week, it's some different shit, and whatever. Was The Wire before Sopranos? Yeah. It was after. No.

Wire was not before Sopranos. You're wildin'. Sopranos was like 98. Son, Akon's usually good with his dates. Yeah, I know he is. That's why I gotta check this.

Sopranos came out in 99. And when did The Wire come out? 2002. Damn, Archon. You know nothing about black shit, Al. Don't worry about that. That's me. The only thing I'll say with Sopranos is this is,

and I watched the first few episodes. They were fine. I would keep watching, et cetera. I imagine that as you get into the show longer and the character development is a little slower because they had more time back in the day. Now you need character development first episode or we're not locked in so if i gave it more time maybe it would end up being the greatest show ever as some people say but in my honest opinion

i'm watching the first few episodes i'm like this is okay okay your mom is annoying you have a bad relationship with her join the club like what's like what's the big deal tony like come on now she don't want to go in the home don't let her go in the home let her light the house on fire who cares like i don't care like why is this such a big deal oh you have to go to a fucking therapist and talk about your emotions boohoo man up like you kill people for a living you can't handle that like you literally have anxiety attacks and that's the fucking that's interesting about it, is a guy who kills people going to a therapist having to deal with killing people. The rest of us go to therapy for my mom, you know what I mean?

My dad. My brother. It's, there, he's like, nah, I'm killing people and I gotta deal with this. No, he's okay with killing people. He feels guilty about putting his mom in a home. I think it all adds up. It's all like a thing. It's all, it's all issues. But here's what up. It's all like a thing. It's all issues.

But here's what I'll say about Sopranos. Everybody's favorite show. Let's include Ozarks, Breaking Bad, The Wire. Ozarks is not one of my favorite shows. But all these shows that people talk about are great. Westworld, whatever. Charm. Name a show like that.

Charm slaps, son. Charm slaps. Yeah, but it's different than those shows. No, it's not. It's like a different category. No, it's not. It's the same category of fucking amazingness. Son, did you see them Chicken Titties? Son, Chicken Titt different than those shows. No, it's not. It's like a different category. No, it's not. It's the same category of fucking amazingness. Son, did you see them chicken titties?

Son, chicken titties was on point. These bitches was doing magic. They were witches. Skibbly bobbly boo. That was Harry Potter before Harry Potter. Real talk. Come on, son. You didn't think them feminist bitches had Harry Potters?

Ba-dum-bum. Harry Potter's? All right, go. But go, what are you saying? All those shows will be after Sopranos. Those shows didn't exist before Sopranos. They changed like the golden age of TV. That's Sopranos that did that. All right, so the chariot was the first thing with some fucking wheels on it. Yeah, yeah, but you-

That don't mean it's better than a Francis Ford Coppola. It's not better than... That's unfair. Ain't nothing like a Francis Ford Coppola. Nothing like a Francis Ford Coppola. Yo, the 78 Coppola? Dude, that 78 Coppola was fire. Beautiful vehicle.

Unbelievable. Beautiful. Speaking of Harry Potters, are we going to talk about these women soccer players? No, we just talked about them for an hour. For 30 minutes we discussed why we're not ready to have this discussion. It's too complex. You're sitting right there.

I completely checked out. You were talking about women in sports. I'm like, alright. Then you brought it up! Just now! Speaking of Harry Potters. Because it's on the list. I figured you guys care about this stupid shit. Before this podcast started. So, yo, before the podcast started. Way to produce, Sal.

Way to produce. No, no, no. Before Andrew walked in the room, you talked about this woman soccer shit like three, four times. And me and Mark. This is when I wish we could all get naked at one point in time. Oh, yeah. At the exact same time, we could all zip off all our clothes and dance around the table

until you shut the fuck up. I wish all of us could just go, and then we get completely naked, and you'd be like, hey, what are you doing? And then we just start dancing around the fucking table. Why does clothes have to come off of the scenario? I don't know, it just seemed like it would really get you to shut the fuck up.

I think if you just started dancing right now, I'd shut the fuck up. I think you'd just make fun of me. You'd just start roasting me for dancing right now. But if them thangs were out, bro, if my thang was out. I'd start throwing them dollars. Say what? I'd start throwing them dollars.

Chucking bucks. Chucking bucks at me. All right. What else? So we're not talking about these dumb bitches. No, we're not. There's more to it. No, because here's the thing.

There's a lot to it. I think we're going to do this week's episode on it, on the Schultz episode on it. But we just got to do all the research because there is a lot of things going on. And unfortunately, we got to like dig in and find out exactly what's happening. Apparently, it's not as cut and dry as the women reading it.

So the story that's being put out right now is- All right, let's talk about it. I was just going to be like, all right, so I guess we're talking about it yeah no you're right it's not as cut and dry as what espn is saying that's you're right basically yeah uh everybody i will say this though i'm super excited about the um the last episode that we put out last saturday we put out this biden piece oh last saturday and um i know i i there's the alex exhale but it's something that i'm really proud of i've you know the episode did uh really well i think we got over four million views so far on it uh between all platforms joe rogan retweeted but there's a reason why i was super excited about

because i made retweeted well no i'm gonna get to it i'm gonna get to it uh uh i mean the reason why i got the four million is because joded that's the only reason. I know. I want to highlight the ones that. Don't worry. Don't worry. We'll get there. We're on the same page. But the reason why I'm so excited about it is because basically when we were looking at this landscape and we're looking at the people who do shows, we thought that there was a white space in the market.

And by white space, it just means there's a part of the market that wasn't being satisfied, right? And the reality is, it's my opinion, the reality is most people are pretty moderate. I hate the term moderate because it sounds like there's not greatness attached to moderate. Like I don't identify as like a moderate person.

Would you like it hot? No, I like it moderate. It's just such a stupid term, but reasonable I think is a better term. And then one issue pulls you to either side, i like it moderate it's just such a stupid term but reasonable i think is a better term and then one issue pulls you to either side right yeah i think it's like okay i'm pretty reasonable about all things but i think abortion should be illegal so i'm gonna vote for the guy who says abortion legal but i'm cool with all the other shit that you guys want doesn't matter um so when when we come together and we want to like put together a piece like this i'm always like how do I feel in my gut?

Your gut is apolitical. Right. Right? How you feel in your stomach when you see a fat person fall and you laugh, that's just your lizard brain going, that's funny. It's not the Democratic Party saying you can laugh at that or the Republican Party saying you can't laugh at that, whatever. It's just what's in here. Yeah. And I've always wanted to do comedy from gut, right?

Just a lizard brain gut what's in here. And I've always wanted to do comedy from gut, right? Just a lizard brain gut what's funny. And we basically came together. We're like, we have to do what our gut is telling us about an issue every single week. No bias, no political slant, no narrative that like a network that's tied to a political party and is really a mouthpiece for that party is telling us that we can say. Like The Daily Show or john oliver one of these guys who like they obviously have to give the left-leaning take right we don't have to give any take we'll give whatever take and i think what happens is when you give whatever take when people watch it it resonates with their gut and when it resonates with their gut

both sides of the aisle come together and appreciate it. And with this piece, you have Rogan, who's I think on the reasonable side, repost it. Charlemagne, who's on the left-leaning side, and at times far left-leaning side, repost it. And then later that night, Donald Trump Jr. reposts it and we lit his pops on fire you can't say that we didn't have tons of jokes about about uh trump like we fucking lit we made sure we lit him on fire in it and to me it just goes exactly to what what i wanted to do when when when we came together to create the show like what we want to do is like we want to make something that is not politically biased we want to make something where the opinion is not decided before we came together to create the show, like what we want to do is like, we want to make something that is not politically biased. We want to make something where the opinion is not decided before.

We just want to write the funniest joke. We want to have the funniest take. And when you do the funniest take, truly both sides can come together. And it was just really cool to see that happen all in the same day. You have all these people that would think they would never agree on anything, come together and all agree. Nah, this shit is fire.

This shit is funny. Y'all gotta watch this. Yeah. So I was just really proud of it. That's why I was saying, Al, I was going to mention Charlamagne. I was going to mention it. I still am super proud with what we made. The reason why

I dislike Trump Jr. reposting it, because by him reposting it, it makes it political. It makes it like it political it makes it like oh it can appear to be like oh hey if i'm okay with this that means he's flaming the other side more and that's what i dislike i love the fact that rogan charlamagne anybody in entertainment cool but if a politician posts it now it's like ah he could be using his energy to try to politicize this and that's what that's true and i know we have no control politician though i mean but anything he does

reflects his father and i know and i would say i would say you could say the same thing about like people in entertainment you know they have a certain slant you know politically speaking and yeah but that's fine it's it's a different coming from an entertainer than it is coming from i understand what you're saying i understand what you're saying i just fundamentally disagree i'm not going to ostracize anybody from appreciating comedy and for me what i focus on is not whether he liked it or not what i focus on is a guy like charlamagne it's not like Charlamagne reposts a lot of my stuff right it's like it's rare Charlamagne reposts my stuff but he this bit resonated with him so

much that he was like yo I gotta share this with people that Rogan could feel that Charlamagne could feel that and the exact opposite of Charlamagne Donald Trump could all feel that about the same piece it just shows to like I am proud.

That shit, it was dope. We're the best. We've only made three episodes. We're the best at it. I've decided. Suck a dick, John Oliver. All of them. You know, it's real funny because people are like,

yo, you guys just stole the John Oliver scroll thing on the side. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Because we want you to watch John Oliver and like, yo, you guys just stole the John Oliver scroll thing on the side. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Yes, because we want you to watch John Oliver and go, oh, this is worse. We want you to know exactly who we're coming for. But yeah, it's cool. Three episodes in.

We're the best. And you know how you be the best? You just don't have a political slant. When you have a political slant as a comedian, it's a perfect example with SNL. It's why SNL's trash. You're telling us how you're gonna go about the joke every single time.

I know where the joke's going every single time. It's so bad. Let me guess, you're gonna make fun of Trump? The best sketches on SNL are the ones where you're flipping on us, right? Like the Black Jeopardy thing? Yeah. That was genius!

Because you don't see it coming. You can't show your cars as a comic. So if we come at it every single week and you don't know where we're coming from and we we literally trust our gut and sometimes our gut is going to lead liberal and something maybe it's going to lead conservative but it's just going to be our gut you're going to find people from all sides of the aisle come together and see it and that's what happened at our fucking comedy shows anytime we go you see our audience is crazy diverse crazy diverse right you see hood motherfuckers and some

with a maga hat in the same crowd laughing at the fucking jokes same thing can happen with the piece as long as you don't decide you're gonna have a political slant i just thought it was so fucking cool that we did it man part of the reason i think that trump jr reposted also i feel like the trumps just know like how politics works and that it's just like a mudslinger contest. Like we were talking about before. Yeah. And that like, even if we go after his dad,

he's like, all right, whatever. Like they understand, like for them, they're like Teflon. Like the insults, like Trump is comfy in the mud.

Yeah. Like, and the whole family gets it. So he's like, all right. Yeah. Dad gets roasted, but whatever.

That's collateral damage. Yeah. Like, yeah. You want a mudslingling with the Trumps, they're like, we live in the mud. Let's go. We could have gone twice as hard on Trump,

and I feel like he still would have reposted. As long as there were some shots on Biden. Because ultimately, it's collateral damage. Yeah, he doesn't care. That's what I think. Yeah. But the reality about the piece was, it wasn't meant to be political.

No. The piece was literally, this is how I feel about Biden. And Mark felt that way about Biden, And Mark felt that way about Biden. And Alex felt that way about Biden. We didn't come together and go, how do we feel? You and I wrote the piece. And then we always read the piece to Alex to make sure that we were not going too crazy.

And Alex would give notes and be like, hey, pull back here, this, that, the other. Did you find that there was any issue with it when we gave it to you? No. I mean, you gave a couple good notes, I felt like. But you were like, I agree with this emotionally. Yeah. So I agree with the message. I was just worried about it being like piling on on Biden. And I was like, okay, if it comes across that way, people are not going to take the message

and they're just going to see it as a, oh, we're just disinvited. So it's like I really want people to get the message. So I'm like try to balance it out where it's like, hey, we're just showing both fucking political parties this piece of shit. It's no bias. We have no options. We're fucked. That's the point of it.

And it's like everybody feels that way. And if you tap into things that everybody feel, parties mean nothing. Parties are just the manipulation tactics they use. It's like, I'm going to bully you to vote this way. I'm going to bully you to vote that way. And this is how we're going to create division, create separation. And who was it that said,

the black vote is not for sale this year? Was it Diddy? Diddy. Yeah. Yeah, it was the black vote is not, don't take it for granted. And then people got mad at Diddy. And it's like, no, he's saying exactly what you should should say which is y'all aren't just gonna get our vote

earn our fucking vote and to your point they just everybody just wants you to pull one way or the other out of loyalty son that's a beautiful thing you create something that resonates motherfuckers and there's yeah there needs to be a place where somebody's just saying something that's not i'm watching trevor noah i know where the fuck everything is going and that's what made john stewart dope is you knew he's left-leaning, but he would take the left to task, yo. He would not bullshit. And now that he's gone,

there's a huge, so people don't misunderstand, there's a huge void in the market of somebody who just sounds reasonable. Reasonable, man. Who speaks to how we feel. This guy sounds like he's not talking to me with an agenda. Oliver, great show,

great at his job, sure, but it's all so fucking left and it's so smarmy and fucking, well. Trevor Noah, not funny, stupid. Like, it's just, there's a huge void in the market. It's actually cool as getting filled by a real comedian, which Jon Stewart also was. He was a real comedian who happened to fucking know politics and love politics.

Yeah, so I'm excited. So hopefully, you know, this Saturday Saturday we'll talk about these soccer bitches. Kick-lip ball bitches. All right. So talk to us. What else we got, Al? So Dwayne Wade to produce the Redeem Team documentary. How do we feel about that?

Yeah, I didn't. Stop it. Now everybody want to do a documentary. Hollywood loves to be second to the fucking dance huh it's like the second one thing

pops everybody in Hollywood every producer is like oh we gotta make them out an agent told me this he said it about LA but it's all in all Hollywood are all like show business

they're in a big race to come in second nobody wants to be the first last dance let's make the next the last dance and it's not gonna be as good

you know an interesting documentary? Go. Them three joining up in Miami? How that all happened? That, I like that. But I'm talking about when they lost. The U.S. team that lost. What was going on in that locker room?

What was going on with the media? When Allen Iverson went out there thinking he was going to win for the first time in his life and he ends up getting bronze. Wow. I really thought you were going to say his kid's transition, but that's a doc. How do you know you're not that gender at nine? So, yeah, bro. You don't even first dance, bro.

So real talk, dude. What the fuck? Nine years old? That's a dog. I feel like at nine years old, you should be able to say, cut that shit out, yo. You should. That was the debate. People were like, nah, nah, nah, chill out.

Isn't that what Boosie said? Yeah. Don't cut that dick off. Don't cut that dick off, bro. Don't cut that dick off, bro. Don't cut that dick off don't cut that dick off bro don't cut that dick off bro don't cut his dick off bro no boosie boosie is gut boosie is i was just gonna say boosie could do this show boosie is gut and that's why we resonate with him so much it's gut this is how we you know who's gut duval gutall. Gut. Yeah. No affiliation.

This is the truth. This is what it is. And Boosie says it his way, and Duvall says it his way, but in Boosie, he says it with this accent. It's going to be like hooded up a little bit, but if you can get past that shit and you just listen to what he's saying, it's just raw human logic. Don't cut his dick off, bro.

Come on, yo. You can't agree with that. It's just raw human logic. Don't cut your dick off, bro. Come on, yo. You can't agree with that. He's nine years old. And nine. You ain't got no pubes yet. You haven't even gone through puberty at all. You do anything at nine years old. They were dressing,

Dennis Robbins' sisters was dressing Dennis Robbins up as a girl at nine years old. Get diddled by fucking Kevin Spacey at nine years old. Yeah, that's right. Kevin Spacey's trying to fuck. So what you're saying is Dwyane Wade's son is going to be the greatest rebounder in the history of the NBA?

Dude, honestly, if you went back to being a man, that'd be an amazing rebound. Real talk, dude. You got to cut that shit out. I'm sorry. When can your kid start Being who they are Hey I'm gonna be honest with you I'm gonna be honest with you Go 13

I was saying 16 Yo You can drive yourself To the clinic Motherfucker Hey I ain't taking you Real talk I'm not driving my kids

To the clinic To get their dick cut off Ain't gonna happen Alright This ain't patri you Real talk I'm not driving my kids To the clinic To get their dick cut off Ain't gonna happen Alright This ain't patriotic Let's jump Nah I mean that

What age Should they be able To be themselves Hey this is gut yo This is gut This is We always operate Through gut here

Let me flip it though Let's say you have Five daughters One of them wants To become a man You always wanted a son Oh yeah do that shit Four years old

What's up Sell a dick On this little bitch Oh my god wants to become a man. You always wanted a son. Oh yeah, do that shit. Four years old. What's up? Sell a dick on this little bitch. Oh my god. Oh my god. Sell a dick on this bitch. Have that shit flapping like the thing outside the car dealership. Yeah, sell a

grown ass dick on this little bitch. Fucking shit. Hey there, Timothy, go show your You have some Grown ass dick On this little bitch Fucking Shit Hey there Timothy Go show your grandma Your dick real quick Go show your brand new dick Come on

You can't get a used dick Off a cadaver Or something like that You can definitely You know when some bitch die And then she donates her Like lungs To like save people's lives

You know what I'm talking about Oh yeah Yeah Like they're brain dead So they can use All the body parts Yeah Oh god You should be able To get a dick off somebody donate to like lungs to like save people's lives you know what i'm talking about yeah yeah like they're brain dead so they could use all the body parts yeah oh god you should be able to get a dick off somebody yo right i'm afraid to check that box on you what's your ideas organ donation yeah i'll do that i think if i check it i'm out my organs are too good somebody you think they're gonna take your dick yeah they're gonna oh they won't take your dick they want that but they're

gonna take you they're not gonna try to save you as much. That's what I feel, yeah. Hell yeah. No, no. That's my organs. I came here with these organs. But if I go naturally, you can have that. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Nah, you can have that. You don't know if you need it. Yeah, but what if they put your eyes in somebody else's eyes and then you just keep saying it? You're not seeing nothing. Nah, but you just keep saying it. All right, what if they put you in a girl's eyes you just get even mean then i'm just looking at my tits all day what what first of all that's a good point actually they put your eyes in a girl's eyes she's just getting nutted on all fucking day that's what you want your eyes to do bro

i mean you got tits now what about it's the upside girls don't be looking at their own tits you feel them you can't feel your eyes all day you can. It's not like your hands are being given. Your eyes are going to be given. You're just going to look at some dude. You're going to look down a fucking urethra for the rest of your life. That's like that VR porn, son. You've been looking at the dicks, son. You look down.

I got a white dick now. That shit is weird, son. Yo, I'm going to be honest. I think I'm saying something here. This is the least scientifically valid discussion we've ever had. What you mean? What you talking about, son? We're spot on. You don't age your eyes. I think I'm saying something here. This is the least scientifically valid discussion we've ever had. What you mean? What you talking about?

You donate your eyes, but if you just get nutted on, and then you dead, get nutted on all the time, seeing somebody get nutted on. So what you know about science, you 1320 fucking SAT having ass? No. You don't know shit about science. Oh, it's 9-11, bro. You're saying the wrong numbers, idiot. No, Marcus, 7-11.

You don't know nothing, dog. Stupid. Something 11. Yo, thank God they didn't do that shit in July. I'd have never heard the end of that, boy. That'd have been the fucking worst and best day of my life. I can't get that fucking Slurpee from 7-11 without having to deal with this shit. Oh, fuck.

Oh, boy. Yeah, that was brilliant. I can't get that fucking slurpee from 7-eleven without having to deal with this shit Let's take a break for a second because we got a shout out the boys over erratics man First of all, we've been smoking these joy going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young we get into this uh this this this year read that we got it's radix remedies that's it that's the official cbd sponsor of flagrant to radix remedies there's no other discussion to have about it r-a-d-i-x remedies.com use our promo code you're going to get the discount on all that 10 off um you're going to have the drops you're going to have the pace you're going to have the sleep time gummies akash you've been using the gummies? Bruh, those are different. I'm telling you, just keep lights low, have a gummy, you're going to sleep 11

hours. Keep that shit. And you got nothing to do but sleep during the quarantine. This is the best time to catch up on sleep. You fighting with your girl? You know the thing that pisses them off the most? Sleep? Good night of sleep. Get that good night of sleep. Great night of sleep. Knock out on that bitch. Yo.

You ever knock out on a bitch? Can you imagine fighting and then you go to sleep and don't wake up for 11 hours? 11 hours? She's stewing all night.

You're snoring. Snoring. You get tired of your girl? Give her a gummy. Hey, night night. Night night. Hey, you-night! Night-night! Hey, about to get some peace and quiet over here. That's what's going to happen, ain't it?

Yo, bruh. Radix Remedies, simple as that. Smoke that. Listen, they got the pre-rolls. Looks just like weed. It might be weed, to be honest with you. It might be weed. You pop a blue chew, chew it out, then give her a gummy.

You free-tail Thursday. Thursday. You got nothing to do girl falls asleep wakes up can't walk bruh this is radix remedies we're not playing around yeah i'm taking polls without lighting it that's how strong it is that cbd comes through with the oxygen al you want to contribute i just wanted to say we're giving the cbd gummies consensually with her knowledge you're not drugging your girlfriends. Of course not.

Okay. Consensually with not. Come on, Todd. Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So what's Latter-day Saints? Why are these shits taking so many days, yo? Why are these saints taking their sweet ass time coming Latter-days? Yo, that's how you know

Jesus was black coming three days late. Motherfucker. Three days late, son? Took him three days? Your daddy's God? Born in a fucking barn and shit. For real?

Wait, what does that have to do with that? Yo, Mark, come on. You understand? Yo, don't talk about barn. What are you, a barn? It's not the Underground Railroad, Mark. What's happening?

Mark, you be saying some wild shit sometimes. I know. We just talking about drugging our women. We're not talking about black people being born in a barn, Mark. Yeah, you making it weird, yo. Come on, Mark. Come on, Mark. Can you start the ad over?

Radixremedies.com. Start it over. Start it over. No, we using this. You can't have the drugging your girl shit. Say what? They're not going to appreciate it. No, he didn't.

Now it's getting serious I did not know I said I would let her sleep cause I love her and then she's gonna wake up and not be able to walk

because you fucked her first you stupid first you did pop a blue chew chew it out right there revisit it

no revisit the ad no no this is what you do hold on real talk revisit the ad and if what we said is wrong revisit it revisit it nah revisit the ad no no this is what you do hold on real talk revisit the ad and if what we said is wrong revisit it

revisit it hey Radix Remedies Radix Remedies use the promo code flagrant flagrant use that promo code radixremedies.com

promo code flagrant get that discount discount discount do you know what I'm saying get them gummies gummies night night

radix remedies but for real that's what y'all gotta do that's the end of this Get them gummies Gummies Night night Yeah Radix Remedies But for real That's what y'all gotta do That's the end of this Now we getting back to the show Even though that was the show You got show within the show We the greatest

I don't know man I think I'm right About A lot of things today To be honest with you But I think I'm right about You should decide When your kid gets to be honest with you but I think I'm right about you should decide when your kid gets

to be what they want. Okay. I asked my dad for a tongue ring he said no. I'm glad he did. Yeah. Wow.

My dad's only said no to two things to me in my entire life. One playing hockey. Tongue ring might be gayer than getting your dick cut off

real talk. 100%. I would let my kid get their dick cut off before getting a tongue ring yep you wild for that one bro listen i know i was wild but there was a kid named anthony who like got girls pregnant in my high school he had one i was like that seems pretty cool and uh and then uh so i wanted i asked my dad he He goes, no. And then he goes to me. He goes, honestly, I would rather you get a full sleeve tattoo than you get a tongue ring. And he's never going to push back anything.

And the other thing I was like in like fucking third grade or something. I want to play hockey. And I had a friend who was playing hockey. Kwamena Pamford was the kid's name. What the fuck? At the name? Yeah, at Jamaican. And my dad was like, no, you can't play hockey.

I was like, why not? He goes, yeah, you just can't play it. And later on, he told me, he's like, you're not going to be able to make friends like that growing up. Like basketball is a skill that you can go anywhere in the world and play. And then you can meet and like build relationships with. And all my friends that I had outside of comedy are from basketball. Literally all of them. So he was right.

But imagine that only two times he gave pushback. That's how bad tongue rings are it's work you know what I mean he's like you're not gonna be able to make friends

with this fucking tongue ring son tongue rings so bad they made your dad homophobic real talk my dad is in a fucking dance studio seeing real gay people all the time

oh boy I've never seen a tongue ring and not think they don't suck dick 100% and that's including men 100% 100. 100%. And that's including men. 100%. 100%.

Oh, fuck. But that's a good thing. So it's like, he made that decision that I wasn't allowed to do what I wanted. He saved your life. He saved my life.

Yeah, he really did. I think that Dwayne, we got to take Dwayne Way's kid away from him. Stop. Like, this is chill. I think we might have to take Dwayne. Son, I tipped my hat off.

I know. Like, we got to chill. My shit got itchy. Honestly, I thought you were going to be like, thank you. Like, finally. So nine years old, your kid is telling you what he wants to do, and you're doing it. Nine years old? You know what?

Logically. Tell me I'm not logically right. Who's really the bitch in this relationship? My brother thought that the motherfucking Power Rangers were picking him up at 2 a.m. What? To go to the Power Ranger place when he was nine years old. When he was nine years old. You got to connect these two somehow.

I'm like, what? He packed a whole bag because his friend told him the Power Rangers were coming to get them at 2 a.m. He packed a whole bag ready to go. He was like, I'm leaving y'all. I'm a Power Ranger now. I'm going to the Power Ranger studio, and we're doing this live. And my mom and dad let him pack that stupid fucking bag,

and he was up until 2 a.m. His friend didn't show up with no fucking Power Rangers, and then he had to send his ass back to sleep, okay? I don't see the connection. My point is you can believe anything at nine. He believed he was a Power Ranger. And my parents let him believe that and he had to deal with that fucking sadness

of the Power Rangers abandoning him. You don't let your kids believe they're anything. Counterpoint. Go. If my son... Go. If my son wanted to transition at nine years old i would be more inclined to let him a comedian we know actually brought this up i think it's a really good point okay go because it's easier to transition when you're younger if you get all the hormone

replacement early and i don't want to have an ugly fucking girl as my kid understood understood nobody wants an ugly daughter yeah that being said and i understand what you're saying if you have that uh what estrogen in your system at that age you'll feminize the body you won't have the big shoulders the voice will be different and you get a hot daughter exactly you have potentially hot daughter you don't know if they're gonna be hot that's incredibly valid now valid but what if you're wrong oh and then you got to go back and you got like a really feminine son and no dick yeah i don't know if yeah cutting it off bro son it's not happening it's not happening y'all want hot daughters say again you want a hot daughter i want my

daughter getting smoked dude let me just get an average okay and it's like, you know, that's it. Focus on school. Learn to cook. You fucking vacuum cleaner have an ass, motherfucker. Focus on school. Nah, bro. I'm telling you. I think there's three reasons.

Did you just buy a vacuum cleaner so you could try your own abortions at home? I mean, the clinics are closed. Come on, son. Have a little decency. No, it's not an attachment. You should try it. Oh, my God. That's why I like the social distancing scoop scoop.

Oh, my God, dude. That's why it's called the Dyson ball vacuum, bro. Gotta vacuum up those balls, bro. Fuck. All right. Let's get this. Come on. Let's lock in here.

Let's get this train back on the tracks. Yeah. Come on, man. Why are we not on the tracks? Okay. You have this one thing about NBA dynasties being miserable. Why do you say that? Yo, so I was listening again to Ticket.

This guy wrote a book about the Warriors. I'm a Ticket. I know. Go work for the fucking Ticket, you so I was listening again to Ticket. This guy wrote a book about the Warriors. I know. Go work for the fucking Ticket, you cunt. I'm addicted to Ticket. I'm addicted to Ticket. All my free time, I'm addicted to Ticket. Bro, Akash talks more about reading one book than anyone I've ever met.

No way. Akash talks about reading one book more than anyone I've ever met Talks about reading one book more than anyone We're the sports in Dallas. We have to take down the Fed. I don't want to be in the documentary. I want to be paid. You need to take the red pill. You don't know about the different colors of pills. You don't know about Sam Cooke And what happened to Sam Cooke You went too far with Sam Cooke Nah you went too far with Sam Cooke

You can't even talk about Sam Cooke like that bro It took him out It took his ass out, our guy. No, he said Tiki Wiki. That shit killed me so hard. Where you going, yo? Hell, you got a pee? Oh, you got to take a real pee-pee.

You can't hold a pee-pee in your bladder. Your bladder too full Oh fuck Alright man for real Alright for real We gotta talk about some shit No I had something I wanted to talk to you about No no I wanted to know something

It's actually sports related What is the Andy Dalton signing with the Cowboys? So the Bengals draft Joe Burrows. It looks like he's going to be their QB1. He's their guy. He's their guy. He's the future. They had Andy Dalton as a quarterback for many years.

He signed a very lucrative contract. Yep. I guess they release him or just don't release him. Release him. A lot of people thought he'd go to the Patriots. Bill Belichick would sign him. Yep. He'll be their starter. Bill Belich just don't sign him. Release him. A lot of people thought he'd go to the Patriots. Bill Belichick would sign him. Yep. He'll be their starter.

Bill Belichick doesn't sign him. Cowboys sign him to be their backup quarterback. So I have two questions for you. Yeah. One, what does that mean for the Cowboys? How does Dak feel about it, et cetera? And two, what are the Patriots thinking? I don't know what the fuck Belichick is thinking.

Tank, maybe? I don't know if he's tanking because it's not that easy to tank. Miami tried to tank and they got the fifth pick. They still got Tua, but it's not that easy to just tank and get the best quarterback. The best quarterback coming out next year

is Trevor Lawrence, Clemson's QB. But you have to lose a lot of fucking games and Belichick is too good to be the worst team in the league. Unless he blatantly tanked. For the Patri good to be the worst team in the league. Unless he like blatantly tanked. For the Patriots to be the worst team in the league, Belichick's ego won't let that happen. This is him and Tom Brady now.

If I'm the worst team in the league, how much better does Tom Brady look? So I don't think he's tanking. I think he just doesn't. Maybe he's trying to prove you don't need QBs really. Oh, that would be. QBs take up 20% of your salary cap or whatever the fuck. And he might just be like, nah, I'm going to win without.

And that's just how great I am. And also, you don't need them. Wouldn't that be the greatest dig on Tom Brady? The greatest. If he proves the year after Brady goes that not only can he win, he can win with a bum quarterback or a nobody quarterback. Jason Stidham, he loves apparently,

but none of us know anything about him. Even if he is really good, Jason Stidham, he has no reputation. Yeah. So it will be perceived as Belichick made him. Belichick is the king. Oy!

And then you really put the chink in Tom Brady's armor. Right? Right. Because you prove, whoa, you really were a system quarterback. Yeah. Ay yi yi.

That is a massive, I think that's too much ego. I think it's too much ego and I don't think he'll do it. But if he can, and he's just like, Andy Dalton's not that great. Like, why would I waste my time?

I believe in this kid. Let's do it with this kid. Fuck it. Bro, okay. I waste my time? I believe in this kid. Let's do it with this kid. Fuck it. Bro, okay, break down to me the Cowboy situation. And is this a move against Dak? I don't think it's a move against... I think there might be something to... Listen, so Andy Dalton's not a good QB.

What happened with Andy Dalton is he showed some potential. And this is kind of the position Dak is in right now. Dak is better. But you haven't really proven anything yet. But your contract is up. so we have to pay you. Because you're too good to just let go back then. And then he didn't get any better, and he's done. That's kind of a similar position that Dak is in with the Cowboys.

And Dak is basically saying, I want to be the highest paid quarterback in the league, more or less. Cowboys might be saying, all right, listen, let's sign this guy to a cheap contract. And if you want to hold out we're not fucked anymore so your leverage has gone away a little bit you can't just say like what ezekiel elliott did last year he held out and was like look if i'm not there as you're running back you got nothing they're like okay we're not going to be in that situation again if you want to hold

out cool we have someone and if not the cowboys have just not had a good backup quarterback for years and just kind of banked on back is going to be healthy excuse me and that doesn't always work out so this they're saying like all right if dak does get hurt we got a good backup quarterback the eagles proved how important a good backup is two years ago so why don't we just sign him to a cheap deal and you know if dak wants to hold out we got a little leverage did they get him for cheap yeah three million dollars guaranteed which is nothing. And then if he wins the Super Bowl, he gets $7 million.

The most he could possibly get. So there was no market for him whatsoever. It seems like there wasn't. But he said, I want to play with Mike McCarthy because I know McCarthy essentially makes QBs better. I think Andy Dalton's play is, I'm going to sign for one year, I'm going to get better, and then I'm going to go sign a bigger deal elsewhere, hopefully.

And hopefully McCarthy tells other coaches, yo, he was killing in practice. He's actually better than Teddy Bridgewater, what he did with the Saints. But he had an opportunity to play with the Saints. He didn't know that he would, but he was like, I want to, cause he signed two contacts with them one year last, like year before last, didn't play, then signed with them again. I'm pretty sure to be the backup again. And he had starting offers, I'm pretty sure. And he said, no, I'm going to stick here one more year. I'm learning a lot, whatever. And then he got his chance to play, went 5-0, 6-0, whatever it was.

And now he got his contract. And then he got his contract. Okay, so that's a smart move by Dalton. So I think it's a smart move by Dalton. And he went to college in Fort Worth, which is right by Dallas. So he's comfy there. Yeah, this is a convenience move. I made my money.

He probably, what, made a decent i mean what did the contract he signed was over 100 million yeah but he didn't get paid he got paid most of it i'm sure i mean he got he got a big signing bonus probably he probably has 50 million in the bank or whatever he's set no matter what good for life i'm gonna be this is a the marriage of convenience for me right now if it works out great if it doesn't i'm fucking in dallas i've got family i've got friends and being a backup qb is a great job. $3 million to not get CTE? Fuck yeah. Let's go.

I'm just in practice, whatever. And the Cowboys might also sign him because they're playing his old division this year. They're playing the entire AFC North. So he can tell me something about these guys. He can give me a little bit of intel on these guys. He played them twice a year. I haven't played them in three years. There's been a change in scheduling?

Just the way the NFL schedules work is they rotate. You play your division twice. Then you play one division from the NFC and one division from the AFC. And that switches every year. And then it goes back. And then you play two or three random games. But like 14, 13 games, whatever it is, are set. That's smart.

Great for scouting. You spend $3 million and you get someone who's got expertise. Scouting. Great insurance policy if Dak gets hurt. Yeah. And if Dak holds out, we're not fucked anymore. Whereas before, they had a seventh round draft pick. Yeah.

And then another undrafted guy that sucks as the only backup. And if he does end up playing some games and sucking, we know exactly what Andy Dalton is capable of because he's got weapons. Yeah. He's got weapons with the Cowboys now. Oh, yeah. He's got weapons. Yeah.

Now, is Witten coming back? Witten is gone. He was signed with the Raiders. Done. Oh, he's going to. He signed with the Raiders. He was kind of washed anyway. He came back and he just, he already probably needed to retire.

Retired for a year. Came back more washed, essentially. Like, no yards after the catch. The Cowboys got a tight end. They've got some promise. So, they're like, just go. McCarthy came in. He was like, I'm not not tied to you and the raiders picked him up raiders picked him up i think maybe a leadership thing a character thing maybe um he doesn't start but he controls the locker room he's gonna maybe start like for some reason but yeah just you're a leadership guy

be right um cowboys let him go quick question What leverage do the Cowboys have if they place the exclusive franchise tag on Dak? So what that means is you get a one-year contract. If anybody wants to take you from me, I think at that point they have to give draft picks. Actually, I don't even think that's the case. It is. We are guaranteeing you $31 million. And if you don't want to play, you don't get any of that money. If you want to play, you get $31 million for this year.

And then we can hopefully work out a longterm deal. And if not, we can tag you again for even more money the following year, usually because that money is based on the market and the salary cap. The one thing is forced to take that. Like if he doesn't want that, he, no other team can get them.

No team can get, and he doesn't get paid or he could sit or he could sit out. He's fucked. He's fucked. He's not. The argument is he's fucked, but he'll also get, I believe you get the... $31 million. But why is it $31 million?

It's based on... It's based on the top five highest paid quarterbacks or something. It's the average of the five highest contracts, something like that. So you get the average of the highest... But he wants more. He wants more. That being said, you're going to get $31 million for one year, where he would never get that a year.

$31 million for one year, where he would never get that a year. So the argument is, you're going to get guaranteed a much larger amount than you would get if we gave you a contract. No, the thing is, the contract they offered already, the whole disagreement,

they offered him something like $33 million a year for five years. He wants four years because TV money is going to kick in soon, like a new TV contract that's going to be crazy and the salary cap should jump up a bunch in the next four years, tv money is going to kick in soon like a new tv contract that's going to be crazy and the salary cap should jump up a bunch in the next four years three years whatever so he's like now i want four years i want another big deal when that salary cap jumps which i'm yeah i

get you got to do that if i'm the cowboys their point is take a little bit less for a little bit longer yeah you also make a lot more being the cowboys qb than you would anything else right i think you can't say that to someone in cowboys qb than you would anything else right i think you can't say that to someone in a negotiation expect them to be like you're right let me take less money they're right but what you got to do then is this kind of shit you got to have insurance policies in place it's like a belichick move look you want to play hardball we're going to be fine you can sit out sit out your 31 million you're not getting any of these endorsements because you're not the cowboys qb look what we're doing i think dag made something like 50 million in endorsements apparently over

his four years with the cowboys you're not making that with the fucking cleveland browns winning one playoff game in four years this seems like a very reasonable debate for both sides yeah neither one is really asking for too much yeah and if either if either party acquiesces you can't be that critical of their decision like okay if the cowboys end up paying them they were gonna pay for too much. Yeah. And if either party acquiesces, you can't be that critical of their decision. Like, okay, if the Cowboys end up paying him, then we're going to pay him

after that fourth year anyway if he's actually good. And if he doesn't take it, he goes, look, I'm going to make so much more money anyway just being the quarterback here. I mean, this, like,

as long as you stretch this on, you know, it's interesting. It's a waste of fucking time. You know, it's interesting, though. If you franchise him and then he plays the full year, next year, whatever that franchise tag number is, this year 31 million, it's based on the salary cap.

The salary cap is based on revenue. TV contracts make up most NFL revenue, but you know what else goes into it? Ticket gate. Like, how many people come to games? If Corona's still going and the NFL's like, look, we're going to play games with no fans, that's going to drop the salary cap.

I heard 10%, but maybe more. So if the salary cap drops, then the franchise tag drops. So it'd go from $31 million to next year $25 million or whatever. I actually think it'll go up because I think people are going to be watching way more football. But the TV contract is locked in. Oh, yeah? You got paid.

Now it's not. Oh, it doesn't go by views? The network pays. I'm going to pay you way more football. But the TV contract is locked in. Oh, yeah? You got paid. Now it's not. Oh, it doesn't go by views? The network pays. I'm going to pay you. It's like licensing. I'm going to pay you $100 million so I can play your games. So then I get the advertising money. So the assumption that we're going to get X amount of people watching a game,

and then I can get ad dollars based on that amount. So, yeah. The networks could be really happy because everybody's going to watch if there's nothing else. Yeah. But that's not going to affect the salary cap of the league. Gotcha. Gotcha. That's the ticket gate that's going to be a part of it.

Oh, no. And if that drops, if I'm the Cowboys, I would wait to see what the NFL decides and how it goes. Open up the season. It's a risky game Dak is playing, though, because if the dude that they signed, Andy Dalton, if he, like, balls out one game, people are going to be like, all right, Dak, you can sit out. Every game, if he like balls out one game, people can be like, all right, you can sit out every game if you play. That's all it takes is him having a fucking what's the Asian guy next that Jeremy Lin. Yeah.

All he has to have is a Jeremy Lin season. He got to get the opportunity. You mean you got to have one of the greatest seasons of all time? You got to drop 38 on the Lakers with Kobe. Um, that doesn't sign them. Boom. Yeah. Football season. we should be

ready to go. I mean, people are going to come like that. Yo, dude, you know what? You were wilding this weekend. Around your parents, son. It is what I do. You were around your parents. I hugged my mom. I hugged my dad. You were wilding. I said goodbye,

man. Wow. No, no. I hugged him. did dance lessons like bro we're back man you're fucking back baby we need to have a name for these fucking mask nazis you know these people like post the picture of central park on their instagram i can't believe that people are still going outside i can't you know these people yeah, how'd you get the picture? Oh, no. They got it off of someone else's Instagram.

This, that, the other. But we need to find a name for them that is appropriate to how much I hate them. And also, they need to keep this same fucking energy. All these people who are coming out right now saying stay inside, put your mask on, all this fucking nerd shit.

I want you to keep that exact same energy when everybody's back outside in a month, just going on business as usual. I want you to keep up your quarantine. I want you to keep up your fucking mask. I want you to keep doing that same shit you said you're doing, treating Fauci as fucking Jesus Christ, whatever that guy says, right? Oh, now Fauci's not your guy anymore, son? I never liked Fauci.

Oh, my God. Son, you were on your Corona podcast saying how he's the GOAT. No, I never said that about him. Yes, you did. I never said that about him. Can someone send us a clip of Andrew saying he's the GOAT? Because you remember. I know.

I know. Take that down. Take that down. Take that down. No, I feel like the energy that I had was- He could come out with a Schultz episode in a month being like, Biden is great guys honestly this is a guy to beat trump might be the guy i mean that to be honest that was the episode that we put out but but in all seriousness i felt like the energy that i had initially was very important and the energy has to change the energy addressed the issue at hand

which was flatten the curve. Curve is flat. What does that even mean, flatten the curve? Explain what it means. Remember I said that shit and you'd be like, everybody said that shit, flatten the curve. What's that even mean? I told you what it means. Flatten it.

It's flattening. It's flattening. No, it means decrease the amount of deaths per week. Yeah. And make sure that it's an imaginable amount for the hospital yeah system right you couldn't articulate that so right happy birthday but so so now that we have that it's time to go back outside baby it's time to kick it

it's time to have some concerts concerts Concerts are back for Missouri. I'm ready to do shows in Missouri tomorrow. They said Monday, concerts back on. Missouri, what's up? You going to St. Louis? I'll go to St. Louis. Yo, let's do a show. Go St. Louis, yo. I'm with it. I really would do a show tonight.

Oh, you on board with this shit, Mark? Of course he's on board with this shit, son. We not pussy-ass bitches. Ali's got to put on 14 goggles just to fucking bike to work. Yup. I'm responsible. Nah. Cut it out, bro.

Stop taking pictures of people in the park and joining themselves. Go inside. Go inside. I agree with that part. Oh, my God. That's IQ white. Stop it. Snitching. Michael Rapaport crying about this shit.

Go inside, you fucking idiots. Stay disruptive. How are you disrupting from inside? What you disrupting inside? Go outside. Get some fucking sunshine. Say hello to people. Play some basketball.

Michael Rapaport just a dork ass you, ain't he? I'm a dork me. Just a brash ass New Yorker but like kind of dorky about it I mean look all I know is it's time to go outside I agree start opening shit up

there we go start opening shit up I think concerts a little wild you know phases I'm about phases I think concerts a little wild. Yeah. You know, phases. I'm about phases. I think we should only have mosh pits. I don't think we should even have chairs. I think it should be mosh pits.

That's what I think it should be. I'm being dead serious with you. Let's go. Let's take the subway. Y'all want to take the subway back? Nah. Let's take the subway. I'm good. Son, let's do it. You wouldn't take the subway before the good son let's do it you wouldn't take the subway before the ride that's true

yeah at night during the day I always took the subway you go Uber here you know what I mean first of all nah you took Uber

fucking everywhere bro I did I've saved a lot of money now that I don't Uber it's amazing I love looking at my Amex at the end of the month it'd be like

what's up ain't no points coming in but in all seriousness i think we need to find a name for the mass nazis what should it be what should we call them mark what should we call the mass nazis i was trying to think about like the mastapo or something. The Mastapo. Something about taking the pictures of people enjoying themselves and going, stop this. Stop having fun in a park. You fucking losers. What a fucking loser sees a bunch of people having fun in a park. Stop it. Hey, what are we doing?

We're not taking this serious. Shut the fuck up. That's who you want to be in history. That's who you want to tell your kids who you were. I remember the Corona pandemic. I was the one taking pictures of people in the park telling them stop doing that. Yeah, it's a snitch move. It's a dork move, bro.

On the right side of history. Exactly. Be on the right side of history. You know what I'm saying? You don't want to be one of the motherfuckers saying, hey, and Frank's in the attic. Do you know what I'm saying? You want to be eating lunch downstairs like, I don't know who's in the attic. Someone's in the attic?

Yeah. No, I agree. You can't snitch. Don't snitch. Yeah, that's whack. That's whack. Yeah. Enjoy yourself in the park, bro.

Play a game of pickup. Hey, dawg. It's so funny. the park bro play game pickup hey dog it's so funny you keep touching your nose and i can't stop looking at this giant red dot right dead center on your nose i'm sorry i had to do this bro you really had a pimple bro it looked like you got an infrared beam you look like akash if his dot falls it's all good i understand i got a pimple On my motherfucking nose How are you gonna snitch

On his pimple right now bro We're talking about snitches Dude There's nothing I could do about it Okay I popped that shit That shit started bleeding a lot Why'd you pop it

Say again Why'd you pop it It was white at the top Yeah you're white You can still see it Nah You can still see it You can't see white on white

Yes you can You got your own push to start I did I pushed that shit He gonna start talking About big banks. Hold on one second. Did I take the scab off?

Look, it is what it is. This is the life I've chosen. That's how I know we started recording. He just looked at me and I saw the red dots. That's stupid. All right, bro. all right bro come on bro that's not funny man it wasn't it's not funny bro it wasn't seinfeld though seinfeld would never make a joke like that right this would be the episode of seinfeld it'd be like oh wow that's so weird that something red is there something else red happened in this this episode. Let these two storylines come together.

The jokes on him, that ain't got to be a hater. Whoa! Your nose is red, Seinfeld! Whoa! All right, we're going to take a break real quick because we got to tell you all about the best motherfucking cereal on the planet. You know about Magic Spoon, bro? Hell yeah, yeah.

Do you know why they call it Magic Spoon? Why? Tastes so good, you think the spoon magic? Oh, shit, yo. It's got to be the spoon. It's just like Michael Jordan was so good at basketball, it's got to be the what? Shoes. The cereal's so good, you're like, it got to be the spoon.

There's no way cereal could taste good and be actually healthy for you. I mean mean that's really what's going down with this magic spoon it's literally healthy cereal that tastes delicious and all the best flavors what's the best flavor the frosted one frosted they got frosted what else that what else is mad good and flavor and cereal cocoa oh yo coca-cola yo they got coca-cola Coco Oh yo Coca-Cola Yo They got Coca-Cola They got Coca-Cola They got Coca-Cola Coca-Cola Coca-Cola

Bro you know what zero they eat in Charmed What's that Magic spoon We don't even know what part of the episode this is going in It could be before It could be after But Mark might have had a premonition Dude Mark killed that

You gotta say it son You gotta say it son We out here premonition. Dude, Mark killed that. You know what I'm saying, son? You know what I'm saying, son? We out here. Yo, magic spoon. Honestly, no bullshit. Absolutely delicious. I start the day. Sometimes when I want to get my sugars, sometimes when I want to just get a little sugar pop,

but not too much sugar because it's a healthy cereal. You know, low carbs, got low all the other stuff. It's low ass sugar. It's no artificial sugar, right? Son, this shit, you want me to tell you exactly what's in this shit? Yeah, please do. Dude, Magic Spoon is literally, it's the best cereal that I've had, bro. It's not even a game.

It's so good, I assume it's mad sugars. Son, it's not, dog. You gotta have maple syrup. There's no way it's keto-friendly. Son, oh, it's keto-friendly, son. It's keto-friendly? Son, it's keto-friendly, son. Get out of here. Son. Oh, it's keto friendly, son. It's keto friendly? Son, it's keto friendly, son. Get out of here.

Son. Get out of town. Son, I can't get out of town. I'm being dead serious. Let me tell you about this right now. Let me get this out right here. Look at this. Zero sugar.

Zero fucking sugar? What? Zero. What? Okay. Okay. Right? Okay. Okay. Right? 12 grams of protein.

What? I'm going to be brolic. What? I'm going to be brolic off cereal. What? Okay. Okay. Only three net grams of carbs.

It's so few carbs you needed a net. They was going to slip through every other way. You ever try to catch fish in a river with your hands? You can't do it. How do you do it? A net? You get a net. That's how

little carbs are. You need a net. Hold on. that's how little carbs are you need a net hold on god I'm not even done yet I can't believe it how are you not done yet I'm not done yet how are you not done yet

it's gluten free dog gluten free gluten free yo they done set the gluten free ain't no gluten in that mug. You free, yo. Free at last. Free at last.

Thank God almighty. We're gluten-free at last. Keto-free, Akash. Yo. That shit got no keto, son. I don't believe it. No, keto-friendly. It's friendly to keto.

They love keto, bro. They love the keto. Dude it's friendly they love keto they love keto bro they love the keto dude my listen i had a dream so yeah i said this i was moving back way too much i had a dream i had a dream the young cocoa kids and young fruity kids and young frosted kids and young blueberry kids were all playing together in a cereal bowl. I forgot about blueberries. I had a dream. I got motherfucking blueberries.

I had a dream that you could add oat milk, macadamia milk, almond milk. We just lost five black listeners. Keep going. I had a dream that I would have a keto-friendly gluten-free,

grain-free, soy-free, low-carb and GMO-free. I could probably get those black listeners back if I had a magic then i'll have a keto friendly gluten-free grain free soy you know if i had a magic spoon oh my god hey come on back fellas come on back come on back come on back all right we up to 20 keep going come on hey hey hey all you gotta do is go we didn't land on magic spoon magic spoon landed Spoon landed on us! That's a fact! We officially a white podcast. Oh yeah, we a white podcast? Oh yeah? Oh yeah, what's the best black strip club in the motherfucking

world? Which city? Which city? Which city? Atlanta. No! Magic City. Magic City, motherfucker! What kind of cereal do you think they serve in Magic City? Magicucker What kind of cereal Do you think they serve

In Magic City Magic Spoon Magic Spoon How you think they scoop out The yeast infections Of them girls in there With a Magic Spoon too Let me tell you something

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That's a spoonful of happiness. That means when you take a spoonful of it, all you're going to feel is happiness. A little magic. A little magic is on the spoon. Hence the name, Al. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money

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Are we done here? I feel like we killed it. Let's get back to the show. All right, so we'll talk about something important like Killmonger versus Loki. Like, why do you put this shit on the fucking notes? Why do you put that on the notes? I put mad topics.

You guys can. Yeah, but I'm not a lot. Hey, what are the black topics? Don't worry about that. We're talking about you right now. That's right. I was scared to talk about his black shit. Oh, yeah.

You don't want to be represented on a podcast. You don't want black thoughts represented on a podcast. After you watch some black art and then we can. I watched it. No, you didn't. I did watch. What happens in episode? Some black ass shit.

No, it's black as fuck. So Alex saw this black as fuck show. Nah, let's just talk about it. It's a good discussion. Let's say. So then start the discussion. Why would you watch it to know about it? I gotta watch the whole episode.

I watched episode one. The show was mad boring. Nah, the show isn't that great, but every once in a while, they have a couple of. It's five, six episodes. You tell me every once in a while. It's like 10 episodes.

Oh my God. It's a full season. Son, just tell us. You tell me every once in a while. It's like 10 episodes. Oh my God. It's a full season. Son, just tell us the argument. Let's just wrap it up. Let's wrap it up. Tell us the argument. It was something about Tyler Perry versus Kenya Barris or whatever. Next week.

What is the argument? Next week. I want you to watch it. I'm not going to watch it. I've already put my phone down. You know what we can do? I'm not going to watch it now. I'm not going to watch it.

But I like the argument and I'll have the discussion. Kenya Barris is the guy who made Black-ish, Brown-ish, all the ish shows. Tyler Perry is the guy who made Tyler Perry Studios based off of the millions and millions of dollars he's made off of Madea and all the other movies and television shows that he's made. And the argument is that Kenya Barris is making television for white people to indulge in black culture.

And Tyler Perry makes, uh, television and movies for black people to indulge in their own culture. Is that more or less? It's pretty good. Yeah. I think. And,

um, so what, what is the, what is the discussion that another layer to it is that, um, uh, black people can't speak out negatively about other black art because we have

very little opportunities in Hollywood. So if you knock black art that's currently out, it lowers our chances at more opportunities. But the downside to that is by not knocking the shit that's whack then you'll never get the shit you want. Exactly. And we'll create whack shit.

And another side to that is that white people then you'll never get the shit you want exactly and we'll create whack shit and another another side to that is that white people can't say anything bad about black art also so you'll have like a black movie won't mention names and then i'll have a 99 rotten tomatoes like it's the best thing that's ever been created right but it wasn't that fucking revolutionary but it's just because if a white person comes out and says oh oh, this movie wasn't that good, now it's like, oh, you're just not gonna because it's black.

Which one was Get Out? Was that the one, the upside down one? Nah. That's where they kidnapped the black people and turned them into white people. That's the movie

about Jordan Peele's life. That was Step for Wives, right? That's Jordan Peele every time he's been attracted to a woman. Right. So when he... Yeah. that's jordan peele making a movie about how awful white women are while only dating and marrying a white woman of course this is him projecting something uh but yeah for me i don't think there's anything revolutionary about the story it's separate wives right that

has existed this is yeah but it got 99 on rotten tomatoes because nobody everybody that's a great point that white people are not allowed to criticize minority art because uh out of fear like uh it would be perceived as racist that's why any the female ghostbusters got like an 85 percent from the critics on rotten tomatoes and everybody's like yeah um okay i think that these are and then the same thing with the asian movie what was it something oh crazy rich asians not a good movie not a good movie but white people like oh i love crazy rich asians i mean i think they went to net and then the chappelle special was inverse yeah but like rod tomatoes was trash on it but the audience rating was super high so has chappelle transcended his blackness now chappelle is just a he's because chappelle is going at quote unquote like lesser minorities or like people

who are more minorities than black people. Right, I understand. Which is trans, whatever. I understand why the criticism, right? But he's not going along with like the way Hollywood, you know, sets up its ideals. But why is he criticizable despite his blackness? And I think it's because he's transcended his blackness.

I think Chappelle has just become Chappelle, not black comic Chappelle. let me just make a point and so it's like once he's become that now you could criticize him if his opinions are not in lined because the argument that they're making right now is you can't criticize black art because of blackness not because of the opinion within the art yeah right so chapelle is was highly criticized and he was knocked for his special because he went after these groups but maybe he's transcended his blackness so that you can't criticize him where you couldn't do that with somebody else i think there's like a like unspoken hierarchy like of minorities within like liberal white people's mind right so when tracy morgan says some shit that's not a good joke but he's like if i have a gay son i'm gonna kill him whatever yeah oh you're a black person but you're

going at gay people they are more minority or whatever however whatever the word is they're like they're more oppressed so you can't say that it's just you can't punch down as this ideal that's been beaten into their minds and if they feel like you are punching down to a more oppressed minority, then whoever you are, it's not okay. So to the Chappelle point, those white people that were being critical of Tracy Morgan, they see him as Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock. Those are the same white people that watch 30 Rock.

Those are the same white people that have maybe propped up Tracy Morgan to be this character. And all of a sudden, that character was saying things that didn't align with who his character was on the show. I think there's, I mean, this is a slur, so it's different. And I'm just trying to think of whatever examples pop into my head at the moment. I'm just saying, like, they hear the same rappers say, like, those white people will not criticize Jay-Z or they'll criticize, like, any rapper for saying, you know, homophobic lyrics, this, that, the other.

I think they're only willing to come at the people who've kind of transcended their blackness in a way who became these like family names and like rap is hard because i think there's like a weird white people are so afraid to talk anything about rap that they let them get away with stuff they would never let a comic get away with that rap is like its own like white people are scared to even delve into those waters of what's offensive lyrics and what's not right but if a rapper said some shit not on a rap song that was homophobic or whatever i think they'd be like yo you can't say that you know what i mean does that make sense like if they say something on their social media or whatever the case is people come for them but if they say that same thing in a song it's like oh for some reason it's untouchable it's untouchable

yeah maybe yeah it is interesting i don't know i don't know like yeah i don't know i just feel it's like it's like a weird unspoken thing that everybody just abides by which is all the things that i listened before like white people can't knock black art black people can only uh show appreciation for other black art or now but they said before up until like a year and a half ago black people used to shit on everything tyler perry like if you were woke black at all you would shit on all tyler perry i remember red tails coming out years ago and all my like woke black friends are like yo don't watch i think i'm a dia movie come around the same time they're like don't watch that shit watch red tails, that's a movie about black people, blah, blah, blah.

Red Tails was like a Steven Spielberg movie. You're just giving money back to a white guy. Tyler Perry, that's trash. Don't go see that. That's going back into a black person's pocket who has a black studio in Atlanta, but somehow that's not cool to you. And then Twitter just caught on to what Tyler Perry does. So I wouldn't say I vocalized it publicly, but i used to think on that same sentiment and i

was like i don't like tala perry films because like the characters in there are very stereotypical and like not coonish but like like dance you know and their extra hood extra all the negative con con nations whatever that word is uh that associated with black people but then we felt that oh okay if he gets popularity with making those movies then those are going to be the only roles for black people that's why we knocked that shit because like i can still watch a talib perry film and laugh at it but medea is a hilarious character objective i'm hoping that that's not the only movies i'm gonna see yeah Yeah, but you know what helps is black movies doing well.

And also, the people I know that like Tyler Perry movies, we're black. So if my market, if my people like this, who am I to shame them for liking anything we put out? Like, I hear people try to say Russell Peters is offensive because he makes accents. Indians I know growing up, we all loved Russell.

So if he's making shit for us, who the fuck are you to tell him he's wrong or us we're wrong for liking someone that looks like us doing stuff that makes us laugh yeah that's why i don't understand like the wokeness of it all definitely my i've switched sides since like you know i appreciate what i like and i knock what i don't is tyler criticized by southern blacks as strongly as he's criticized by like i think you're criticized by woke whack uh woke blacks that's that'd be mine so it's like but depending the woke blacks kind of exist in like new york and california they're more here they're there but they're more still right yeah i'm just curious because maybe they're black maybe their life within blackness is not relatable to what tyler talks about and maybe

the characters that tyler talks about seem cartoonish to these like new york and california blacks but maybe they're like really relatable to figures in their lives to the southern blacks like maybe they have an uncle that's like that they have an aunt like that they have a big mama you know they have these people that operate really similarly and they're like this isn't that crazy you think it's cartoonish but to us it's not like that duck dynasty show i bet in new york and california white people are like guys a bunch of hillbillies i bet if you go down south it's like nah i got an uncle that wears uh what's it called army fatigues or whatever that shit is forgot to go uh wears army fatigues or whatever every single day just like that so I wonder if it's just a lack of relatability and one of the problems with like looking at

blackness uh as a monolith like looking at one type of blackness and then when you don't live up to that type of blackness you're like oh yeah this doesn't make sense I think the most interesting thing about like the blackish show or like the Tyler Perry show, et cetera, is that I think oftentimes the way that people appreciate things are when they live up to your view of them. Hmm. Right. So it's like maybe the people that appreciate the Tyler Perry movies, they're going, oh going oh yeah this is how i see black people and maybe the people that appreciate the black kid shows like oh this is how i see black people i think that's where woke black people get offended though is they think white people look at black people like medea yes and that's the thing is like white people aren't watching medea white people are watching blackish right because they maybe that's closer to how they see black people they're like okay i see black people existing in these white spaces and i see them acting quote-unquote black within these white spaces but i also don't see them being like a

stereotype that medea would be that'd be a little too far-fetched if anything i'd feel a little bit guilty enjoying that because it's like is there some sort of uh you know leaning into like the extreme of cultural stereotype yeah something i was afraid of happening was that hollywood would see the success of medea movies and be like oh let's make our own yeah that's what i was worried about that was my biggest issue i was like oh no i mean is that big mama's house i mean big mama's house is medea wasn't popping when big mama's house okay yeah i think it might have been plays i think that she started his plays i don't meet the brown star his plays like this motherfucker is a monster oh yeah plays to movies to tv shows creative genius and

business exec yeah no he's a beast yeah shit changed in terms of perception of talib perry when he built his own studio huh second you see that studio people are like shit i might have to put on one of them fucking costumes even when he had it at first though all of a sudden he had to literally just start doing some oprah shit and being like yo walmart everything i got on layaway i'm paying for it like that's what it took for people to be like oh tyler perry's doing it but it is really funny it's like you don't you do need a show. You can't just tell, right? Like there was this common thing you'd hear like a lot of like black entertainers saying like I'm not going to put on a dress.

And I think like Dave Chappelle got it in people's heads that like that's what the Hollywood industry tries to make you do is put on a dress. They want to emasculate black men. I don't think it was about emasculating black men. I think there is you could add racism into it by going what's funny or comedic juxtapositions so what is the most masculine thing some nerdy exec sees probably the black male and then what is funny to some corny exec is seeing the most masculine thing look feminine right schwarzenegger in a dress sounds funny schwarzenegger dress can't even knock it right michael cera in a dress not funny there was actually a movie where sch Schwarzenegger dress. Can't even knock it. Right? Michael Cera in a dress? Not funny. There was actually a movie

where Schwarzenegger got pregnant. I don't think he wore dresses and shit, but there was a movie where he got pregnant. So we're seeing Mr. Olympia, whatever that shit is, Mr. Universe, dressed as a girl,

right? Or pregnant as a girl. There's a comedic juxtaposition there. Now, there's an element of race in everything. You could go, why do they see

black males as this hyper-masculine thing that would be funny if you made them feminine? Okay, maybe you look at black males in a little bit different light than you look at... Maybe you're a little scared.

Maybe you're whatever. There you go. And that is your, what is it called? Bias? Yeah, subconscious bias or something. That is that subconscious bias that they have.

But I don't think it's as simple as there was a meeting where a bunch of execs were like, hey, why don't we get black people to wear wigs and dresses? That'll be fun. We'll emasculate all the blacks like that. Yeah, I don't think it's happened. And then I think they touch on that too

because there was a movie, Tootsie, in 1982, where, I don't know, Michael Dorsey, some guy, he dressed up like a girl. And then you have, of course, what's the comedian? Mrs. Doubtfire. It's been done. It's the corniest version of comedy. If you look at Instagram comedians, not to knock them, but what is the first thing they go to when they're trying to make a funny skit?

Someone who doesn't really have any comedy writing skill. What do they do? They throw a fucking wig on. They throw a dress. This is how girls act. It is the lowest common denominator of joke, right? Like back in the day, every comic would just do a gay voice as a joke. Yeah.

And it was hilarious because it's a person who you do not see as gay acting gay. Right? It's just the easiest way to make a joke. If we're making fun of each other, we're going to do it in an emasculating way. This is what happens in a locker room. It's just a funny thing to do. But it is an interesting discussion. It's cool to see them talk about i'd love to see them do it out of a scripted like i'd love to see them have a podcast about it and maybe both of those things are important maybe there's like a martin malcolm

thing there it's like hey i need to do this for us the malcolm approach yeah and then that scene really felt like that it felt like and then mart was like, I know you need to do that, but I also need to make sure there's an integration play as well. So it's like... We should watch this episode, guys. Have a discussion next week. I really think this is...

There's something valuable here. Oh, that was good. Yo, we got to wrap this up. I totally forgot we were supposed to call Mike Feeney. Yeah, we could have called Feeney and put this discussion next week. Well, what are you going to do?

So Mike Feeney, we're going to have to... Let me call Mike Feeney. Yeah, we could have called Feeney and put this discussion next week. Well, what are you going to do? So Mike Feeney, we're going to have to, let me call Mike Feeney right now. No, let's do it when we can do it right and put him on the screen and all that shit. All right, bet.

So Mike, we're going to call you next week, our bad, but you don't know that it's our bad because you're texting me thinking it was your bad, so I'm going to let you think it was your bad.

Your bad, Mike. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening it's been another episode of flagrant peace god bless