Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Japan Is The Best At Suicide Feat. Tim Dillon

Episode Date: August 13, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Alexx discuss: Akaash's Guardian Angel, Schulz's time in Japan, Jiro Dreams of Sushi being WACK, How to deal with your girl on her period, Antonio Brown trying to keep his helmet, Andrew being Shadow Banned, plus special guest comedian & conspiracy theorist Tim Dillon talks about Jeffrey Epstein. INDULGE!!!

What's up everybody and welcome to Playground 2 No Easy Buckets Analysis by Asshole's Water Cooler Commentary for your sports needs I'm Andrew Schultz, I'm here with Akash Singh Kaz is not with us today, we're gonna get to that in one minute We got Alex Media, we got Eden Martinez on the ones and twos We gotta start the episode on a somber note today guys Alex Media. We got Eden Martinez on the ones and twos. We got to start the episode on a somber note today, guys. It is a... There's no way to set

this up. There's no way to ever preface something like this. So we're just going to go out and just say it right away. Kaz and his girlfriend lost their baby. The... Yeah. It is absolutely tragic. You know, when life is lost, there's really nothing you can say. There's nothing we can say at all. These are the moments that I feel we earn our flagrancy. And

what I mean by that is we say all these wild things and we say these wild jokes and we go really push things to to the limit and i believe we can say this because we know deep down that we're good people and we don't have any malice or hatred for people in the world and these are the moments where we show that we are good people that we care that we've got love for the people that are close to us for our family for our friends so um i spoke to Kaz today and he said it was okay to share this news with you guys. And why don't you reach out to Kaz if it's on Instagram, if it's on Twitter, if you know him personally, just reach out to him and just show

him some love, man. Let him know that you're thinking about him, you love him, that you just think he's a great guy and you miss him. Obviously, Kaz is going to be away from the podcast for a little bit for as long as he needs. And we got his back 100 percent, no matter what. But but yeah, just go show him some love, man. I'm sure he needs some love. And, you know, I'm sure his girl needs some love. Just give him some good best wishes that you possibly can from the bottom of your heart, man. And and this is like I said, this is where we earn it. This is where we showed it. You know we showed it you know we are the good people we are the we are strong people we are caring people and um that's the reason why we can make these you know horribly fucked up jokes is because

you know deep down when shit hits the fan um we're there for each other so go and really show what the asshole army is about and uh show some real love man show some real life he deserves it right now and um and yeah and then when he's ready he'll be back and you know i'm sure he'll you know give some perspective on this crazy experience i bet there's people listening right now who have gone through you know horribly tragic things like this i won't share you know too many details about. One, because I don't know that much about the, the, the science, I guess about it. But, uh, but yeah, it's fucked up. It's sad. We debated whether putting this at the beginning of the episode or at the end of the episode, we weren't exactly sure. Um, but then we just said, fuck it. You

know, we, we don't want to, we don't want to, you know know we don't want to like divert from what we've always done which is like meet things head-on on this podcast whether it's with jokes whether it's with something serious we want to just go right for it and um you know we've got a we've got i think a great episode coming up today we got a special guest that's going to call in later um tim dylan hilarious comedian and he's going to break down the whole Jeffrey Epstein thing to us. You know, he's like a big time, I don't want to call him a conspiracy theorist because that cuts the legs out from him, but he's got great perspective on the real way the world works, let's say that way. And he's got a hilarious podcast y'all can check out.

But so he'll be joining us a little bit later. But, you know, besides that, you know, I've been gone. I missed you guys for a week. And, you know, it's just, it's, it is a weird transition. I'm not going to lie. It is. It's a weird way to come back from a break. None of us, I don't think, saw this coming.

I think we're all excited about a niece coming into the family, the Flagrant family. Yes. But, yeah, like Andrew said, these are the moments where we show that this is where we show that we're the good guys dressed in a Flagrant outfit. So send Kaz your love. He specifically said, please send his girl prayers and good thoughts and love. I mean, I'm, I'm obviously one of my best friends is going through this already. Brian, who we've spoken about on this podcast, but like, I see this, it's not, not an easy thing to go through, but we can

hold him. We can love him. And then one thing I remember is every once in a while, just, you don't have to say the right thing. Just say something, just tweet him. Hey man, love you. That's it. That's all you got to do. That's it. Um, That means a lot to somebody, you know, going through that and you never know, he might need a, need something to kind of lift him up or make him smile throughout the day. It's always nice knowing that

you have people thinking about you and I think that, you know, when tragedy happens, it can be so fucking isolating, man. Yeah. That's the thing about tragedy

is, you know, you, you're going through something by yourself and you can't exactly go out and like relate to people about this like and how do you act normally like even i i know like my brian even feels guilty when he feels normal yeah you know what i mean like it's your baby yeah how do i

forget about something like that and you know it takes a long time to realize that's okay to feel but like it's yeah i don't know how it's tough to function yeah yeah so i mean japan sucks can i can i say one thing about that can i say one thing about what amsterdam is great is that where you went yeah for the shows that you recommended me for oh that's right yeah god i'm really your guardian angel. I know. It's crazy. I do so much for OutKast, I forget.

That was really good? Dude, it was great. I loved Amsterdam. Did you bring Shorty or no? Yeah, yeah. She came out the next day. She had to work. Okay.

So I went out one day. Then she came out. It was dope. It was great. Did assholes come out? Some assholes? No, I didn't. You didn't even promote it.

I didn't promote it. Why not? Man, I was trying to do these videos, and then I was like, I'll promote when I get there. And I will say this about Amsterdam. The internet is legit like 1G. This is the laziest fucking person on the planet. I had no idea you were at Amsterdam. Hold on one second.

This guy couldn't post more than one video a week on Instagram. It took an hour to post one video. Wow. At a certain point, I'm not. Wait, wait, wait. In Amsterdam? Yeah. No, Amsterdam, the internet's fine. Bruh. My internet was dog shit.

Wi-Fi was trash out there. No. You can post an Instagram video. Stop it. Oh, not. Yeah. Took an hour. So, I get this fucking piece of shit. A gig in Amsterdam. Fly, paid for. They paid you, obviously.

I paid for my flight, but yeah. You had to pay for your flight? I made money, though. Really? Yeah. I mean, I made enough money that it's fine. I came out fine. He didn't pay for your flight.

He said he would pay for your flight in the email. No, no, no. I think, because I want to go with a different email, so he just threw me a little more. Or a different airline, so he just threw me a little more money airlines he threw me a little more money and then i paid for the flight but like it was like i i came out fine but he did pay for your flight you just chose to go with the different yeah yeah so he paid for your flight yeah he paid for most of it but because you decided to go the different airline i'm never helping this guy again son this guy's the most least grateful motherfucker how you make it seem like he ain't paid for your flight?

I don't know. Hold on. I get you this gig in Amsterdam. You don't even promote the fucking gig. Guys, can we remember? Shut the fuck up. Guys, you don't promote the fucking gig. Right.

That I get you in Amsterdam. Right. That you don't have to do anything for. Right. You say on the podcast that he didn't pay for your flight. Right. After already not promoting the gig that he paid you to do. Right.

You say that he didn't pay for your flight. You already said that. When he did pay for your flight, you just wanted points, you cheap piece of shit. I wanted to get out of being in trouble. What does that mean? I wanted to get out of getting blamed for not posting. You didn't even post the hotel pic, like, when

girls get to fly out. You don't know where they're at, but they just post the hotel pic. You didn't even post that. Like, I had no idea. I forgot that you were there. That's honestly fine with me. No. Shows were sold out.

He had already told me the weekend shows were sold out. I didn't do Wednesday, Thursday. That last second fell through. So Friday, Saturday shows were sold out. So I was like, all right, I could promote. It's taking fucking forever to upload these videos anyway. Let me go see Amsterdam. Had a good time.

Got recognized at the grocery store. Yeah. This guy. I mean, just astonishing. Was there no party that's like, I should promote the shows? I think it was one of those things where it's like you're going to promote the UN Amsterdam

and it felt like corny to me or phony to me to be trying to act like I'm more successful than I was or whatever and Schultz got me the shows. It's not like I'm some famous dude that they threw up. Yeah, but nobody knew that until you fucked it up today. You the one that said, I'm your guardian angel. You cut it.

I am. So, exactly. So I just let it sit. No, but at the same time, you should have posted that. Come on. Son, when I saw you had that video that got 200,000 views on Instagram, that was the shit. I was hyped for that shit.

Yeah. He's like, all right. But you posted it, so you must have been proud. I know, I know. My girl made me do that. She was like, you got to do something. I was like, all right, fuck it. I hate posting on social media.

I hate it. I got to find someone else to help, son. Comics, any comics, they're going to do something with this help. Son, if you don't let people know you're popping, they ain't going to know you're popping. Have you listened to rap? I do be listening to rap. What kind of music you listen to, Nirvana's? I do be listening to rap. You're of music you listen to, Nirvana's? I do be listening to rap.

You listening to too much white music, bro? Rappers be popping before the album's out. On a debut album, a rapper will go best rapper alive. On the debut! He wrote the song before the album was ever out. He wasn't even a rapper. Right now, Blueface, who probably has the worst flow in the game, he's the best lyricist.

Like, come on, Akash. Give me a little hip-hop in you, son. I'll get there. Come on, son. Your boy is right here. I'm saying. You took pics. Throw them up like Throwback Thursday something.

Also, the fact that the shows are sold out, it don't matter you didn't sell them out. They don't got to fact that the shows Are sold out It don't matter You didn't sell them out They don't gotta know that You're selling out International Son He sold them shits out

You sold them out You sold those shits out We know you did You sold them out What am I Well I'm gonna Comment on the Instagram

Son They knew Big Dick Akash Was coming to town That's it Son come on No No Come on

You're right You're right You're right You're right You're right You're. Yo, come on, bro. You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. Big Akash is in town, son. You're right, you're right. Smoking mirrors until it's real. You're right, you're right, you're right. It's fake until it's not.

Come on, son. No, you're right, you're right. With your big dick. Come on, bro. I'm tight right now. That's beautiful. You international, sold out. And that's not a small venue.

Tombler? It. Toomler? It was at Toomler? It was at Toomler. It's weird shaped how it goes back in the back. It's odd. It's like a Y. The front is sick. Front is amazing.

It's almost like if they cut it off at the bar. It'd be better. Perfect. Yeah. But it does go back kind of weird. It goes back like a wishbone. Yes. Yeah.

Exactly that. Yes. And you had fun and you liked the shows? better perfect yeah but it does go back kind of goes back like a wishbone yes yeah exactly that yes and you had fun and you like the shows thursday show was work the fucking work i thought you said wednesday thursday didn't work out friday show friday show sorry friday was work yeah saturday was fun but friday show was like bro i was up there and i understood the dutch audience might be a little different a little different yeah but the first five minutes they are just staring yeah saturday they were a little looser they were more fun also the host only did three minutes he's supposed to do 10 yeah so only did three so i'm in the bathroom and then he just hops off stage and then i gotta like run on stage and that was a little weird the energy a little a little weird. But then they were just staring. And then I had to work, dog.

Like, my back hurt when I was done. Legit, my back hurt. I was like, I got to fucking crack these people open. His back hurt from the blue light district. That's where his back hurt. That blue light, son. Was blue light the game? Blue light his dicks.

We learned that shit the hard way. Oh, so right. Did y'all go together Answer that Yeah Son Views from the sis Yeah yeah I remember Sweden

Obviously I remember too Sweden tends to take over A lot of the memories I knew it was international But I don't remember Which countries Cause Sweden

Pops out so much You gotta brag about What's going on bro Right you right And I'm really honestly Working at it I am like the fucking Post my girls

Like you got You got 200,000 views You gotta post this It's like I should And The fucking post, my girl's like, you got 200,000 views. You got to post this. I was like, I should. And then she was like, no, don't say you'll do it tonight. Do it now. So I was like, all right, you're right. Let me do this.

And just posting that you're touring internationally, it's like so much of this shit is literally people talking and then other people talking and then other people talking. But if you don't put it out there, nobody's going to start talking. Dude, you're absolutely right. I just always, if it's smoke and mirrors, I'm always like, man, nah, it's not real. Neither is comedy. You tell the same jokes every night.

That's a good point. Like you didn't. You look at them in their face and you act like this is the first time you're telling the joke. Nothing is more inauthentic. That's a good point. That's a good point.

But we're okay with it. Yeah. So apply that same inauthenticity. No's a good point. That's a good point. But we're okay with it. Yeah. So apply that same inauthenticity. No, you're right. You're right. Son, when them shows start selling out for your tour, you better let people know. Done. Done.

With him. With you. I was telling you the fucking one of the goats early. And I said, you need to start talking that shit. Yo, it's true, man. He's like, nah. I was too bashful. Comedy, community,

we don't really talk that shit like that. I said, fuck it. All right. And then you did that shit and look what happened. No, it's true. It is true, man.

Because you got to tell people how you feel. I said, I'm top five alive. And then motherfuckers started treating me like I was. But if you don't put it in their head, they're not going to know.

They need to know Akash out here selling out international. Selling out Amsterdam. You know what I mean? Traveling around with a big ass dick. Fuck out of here, bro. No, you're right. Take your girl on vacation and shit. Come on, son.

No, you're right. Come on, bro. I'm tight. Lesson learned. You got Pickle, you on stage? Huh? Yeah. Late post.

Yo, answering and thank you for the sold out shows. Da, da, da, da. Bet. That'll be it tonight. Come on. That'll be it tonight. Asshole army that's listening. Front like you didn't hear this and just be like, yo, this is so sick.

Oh, gosh, we know y'all was killing it. Da, da, da, da, da. Nah, you're right. And that's, yeah, you just got to say fuck it and just post all this shit. Yes. This shit is smoking mirrors till it ain't. Dead ass. Look at me.

With his porn stash. Smoking mirrors till it ain't, bro. It becomes real. Nah, you're right. You're right. Dead ass. Nah, you got to work on it. And I just fucking, man. Anything I do, you're right. You're right. Deadass. Nah, you gotta work on it and I just fucking...

Anything I do, just do it. Please. It's right here. So humble. I'm being dead serious. I know, I know. But it's goddamn...

That's your whole point though is fuck the fucking humility. but it's just a comment like that. Just whatever I do, do the shit. Yeah. Why would you do anything different? I don't understand why anybody would do...

I'm not even saying this to be arrogant. I'm saying it's right here. Literally, just do it. It works. No, you're right. You put the clip up 200,000. I've been begging you to put clips up for fucking years. I know!

I think he's learned a lesson. No, I'm just saying it just took a while to get there. I never liked it. It takes a while to learn a lesson. It's like, he'd be taking a while, man. I'm just taking a while sometimes. Word. Especially with that kind of shit.

If you don't promote this show coming up on Thursday, I'm going to be tight at you, too. Now we're going to promote it. What's the show coming up on Thursday? Wow. The Brownish. Oh, the Brownish too. Now we're going to promote it. What's the show coming up on Thursday? Wow. The Brownish. Oh, the Brownish show. New York Comedy Club. 8 p.m.

East Village location. Fourth Street, 2nd Avenue. You do promote your shows on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Yeah. But now we're going to, you got to sell the brand of Akash. No, I'm going to start, I'm stepping up my social. The clips was like, let me at least do this.

Why do you feel bad doing it? This is a good like. I don't know. There's something very like, it's all in my head, but there's something kind of phony about all of the like, oh, look,

I'm pretending I'm more on than I am. And there's something about me that never likes doing it. I'm always like, nah, that's whack. That's phony. But it's not about being phony. It's not about that.

Because you don't mind being phony on stage. To me, that's like, and that's why I love crowd work. It's like, oh, this is, and that's what I't mind being phony on stage. To me, that's like, and that's why I love crowd work. It's like, oh, this is,

and that's what I used to say in a certain point. I was like, well, this is what it is. But we talked about this. Crowd work is the only real moment on stage. Everything else is in acting.

You're acting. You'll do crowd work that's not crowd work. You'll do like crowd work that you know the direction it's going. I know the direction it's going. And then even then, I'm like,

let me try to, you try to find, you try to find the way you're okay with it but it's still phony yeah but you find you find your okay i can justify this way of doing it you know what i mean i mean i don't need to justify for me for me yeah but what i'm saying is like if that's not phony to you there's a reason because i don't think the issue is phony i think the issue is insecurity right oh yeah and that was the other part is you're very vulnerable when you're doing that there's a reason because I don't think the issue is phony. I think the issue is insecurity, right? Oh, yeah. And that was the other part

is you're very vulnerable when you're doing that shit. And especially if I already feel like, yo, this is kind of phony. But it's not phony. Get out of the phony thing. You're right,

but that's in my head. The phony is the protective thing, right? I don't want to be vulnerable so I'm going to call it phony because it's like what comics do. Like when somebody's popping,

they're like, oh, that motherfucker's a hack and that motherfucker was like... Every shitty comic, every comic that's broke has called every successful comic a hack. Yeah. And that's not... Like, the clips was pure, I don't want to be vulnerable. Like, what if this shit ain't good? What if it's...

What if... Here's the real shit. Here's the real shit. I don't know if it's good. What if everybody else confirms my deepest fear that is not now we're talking that's the real we're talking you nice no you're right you are nice right son you're right akash singh is nice you're right you're one of the nicest bro i appreciate that i don't even like you that much outside of your talent.

No, like, obviously I love you like my brother, but you're not so much fun that if you weren't talented, I would want to be around you. That's definitely a compliment. I take it as a high compliment. You're so good at comedy and you're so funny at just being funny that I tolerate how wildly boring you are. That's a good point too. To hang out with like on the road and shit.

That's a good point. That's a good point. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't be going out. Son, you know the reason why I don't take you on the road?

I'll tell you why the reason why. No, no. It has nothing to do with that. Because I know if I take you you're not gonna go be as great as you are oh interesting

what you mean you aren't gonna be as great as you can be if you're on the road with me and we're having a fucking time of our lives and it's just these international tour

and we're selling out these theaters and all that kind of shit on some part of you like anybody in that situation would be like yo this is enough we got it we're selling out these theaters and all that kind of shit some part of you like anybody in that situation would be like yo this is enough we got it we're making money we're living our dream but I know how great you could be and I

can't let you not be that great as your friend who loves you so it's like I've told this to Alex I'm surprised you said it on air I've told this to Alex I'm surprised you're saying it on air I can't I only say it because I know

this is for me to share with the people how great you are to me no no no I don't take any of this personally you should take it as the most love

yeah the easiest yeah I don't take this as like whatever as negative but I will say this it would bother me opening for you because it would in my mind again confirm that fear that like this is what i am i'm this guy's opener so i would actually

probably that would everybody's gonna be so much pride son his ego is astronomical no no but all ego is well hold that hear that hear this all ego based in fear, right? So that fear is, I'm not that good. This confirms that I'm not that good. Yes. That's what I'm saying. Not, I got too much pride to be his whatever, but there's like, this confirms that fear of mine that like, oh, fuck, this is how good I am. Yeah.

Because I'm Andrew's opener. That's just how good I am. Yeah. And that's where it stops. And that's why I also never press to open for you or whatever. Yes. Because it's like, nah, that's where it stops And that's why I also never Press to open for you Or whatever Cause it's like Nah That's too real But that's ego too

And ego's all based in fear Get rid of that shit Yo It's 100% what I'm working on But it is all based in fear And the fear is just Something you face How long you gonna work on it

You facing Hey that's the clips The first step We worked on it Done First step Put it out there Moving on

Ready for some Tony Robbins? See what I mean? You see that Tony Robbins clap? We outta here. Maybe I should. Yo, Tony Robbins got the weirdest clap, bro. He does this shit where he goes like He does it. He has his hands wide open like that. He shakes it and like

it's so weird. Eddie, you getting it up? Look at, look how weird. This retard out here clapping, bro. And this guy, this guy low-key genius. Is he gay? Nah, nah, nah, nah. He got mad me too.

Oh, word? Yeah. You respect him more now. So, so. Yeah, real talk. So it's like. That's eventually masculine and me too is masculine right so no we're getting we're getting on some good shit we're getting on some good shit right so eventually and i know this is tough to talk about but the way i dream about these things is everybody that is operating within this umbrella that we're building out creates their audiences and everybody has their following.

And then we start doing these massive tours. Dave Chappelle and Joe Rogan, when they go do shows together. Chappelle and Rock do shows together. And all these different people come together and do shows. And that's just the dream. That's the most fun in the whole world. That's it. That's it.

The other. But at least the design for me is I needed, I need you to go out and do it. And then you did it. You booked your fucking tour. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? But get rid of that fucking ego, like opening for me or something like that. You know how long I was with Charlemagne andagne and like every every single person charlemagne's co-host this that the other i was like yeah

yeah it was close awesome you know how awesome it is to be sure like that's it was like i understood everybody is gonna have somebody that is gonna be their their leverage point. Right. And if you don't have that, that's the problem. You're not nice. You're not nice. Nobody sees nothing in you. Right. There's a lot of motherfuckers that won't get that opportunity. We got a lot of friends that don't get that opportunity.

Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like you take that opportunity and then you lean into it and run with it. And then when it's time for you to fucking do your thing, you do your thing as well. But don't, like. Look, if you had asked me to open for you, I'd have said yes. I know. Why are you making this about me not wanting to do it?

I'd have still said yes, swallow your ego. I know, but I guess what I'm saying is don't even, I don't even want you to have that tiny little even shred of insecurity about it. Nah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, bro. You're like, you nice, bro. Why don't you ask him?

What? It's okay. I don't want to ask this guy for anything because he's already done so much. You can ask me for anything. But that, I know you'll do it

when you can anyway. But whatever you need, you could ask me. That's what I'm saying. Next year, we're doing the special. Yes! This year, I'm going on tour

working on the special. Yo, shut your fat ass up, son. Fuck you. What are you... Don't fucking try to do this, son. Fucking... Listen. Listen, I'm Tony Robbins, alright? You're not Tony Robbins.

Why are you not opening up for Alex, Ed? What's your deal? I didn't ask him yet. Yo, man. You so nice, Akash. Come on, bro. That's all I'm trying. That's all I want to get out there.

But real talk, the fear, you got to somehow get rid of it. I remember when I first started going on the road with you, and you're like, yo, you're my guy. You got to act like you're my guy. And so I was afraid to ask the venues, like, oh, is it OK if I put the camera here? Or is it OK if I can go to the sound? Now I walk in these fucking venues, I'm like, where's the sound guy?

I need a blah, blah, blah, cord. I need this. Yeah, like, and it's just because it's like, all right, you know what? I do good work. And people appreciate it. And now I feel more confident about the work that I'm doing. And it's like, fuck that fear shit. We all have it.

That's human, bro. But you're here for a reason, dog dog you're not here just because you're my brother and i love you like i want to do shows with you because i think you bring out the funniest version of me that's that's a huge skill you know how many people make you less funny do you know what i'm saying you know how many people you hang around, you're like, man, I feel less funny. Yeah, 100%. Do you know what I mean? We're not going to go there.

I think we all know what we're all thinking about our own lives and ourselves, but we're not going to go there. You know what I mean? We're happy. Everything's happy. So... Stop it. You crazy.

I think we all... We out. We out. We moving. But yeah, like I... No, and that's where putting up the clips has been good. Because it confirmed that you the shit! And you went through this too, though. The industry, even more from from me than you like i didn't have an agent until like three months ago so it's like you just get no after no after no that that party that's afraid is like oh shit

maybe it's not but then when you put the when you take it to the people like you did and you get love you're like oh okay i was right i actually okay there is funny here. Yes. Yeah. Motherfucker. What are you fixing, Enid? No. All right. Yes, and that's another reason why, like you just said, why giving it to the people is it confirms it, man. At the end of the day, listen, if we 100% believed that we were funny, 100%- We wouldn't do comedy.

Yeah. Yeah. That little insecurity in us is the reason why we write a good fucking joke got a good idea that so that shit is fuel don't lose that no okay don't lose that like when you hang it when i hang out i'm not gonna name names but when i'm like around some of like the goats like there's some insecurity there. Like, some of the funniest people you could think of. You can feel it. And on some level, maybe it's like a letdown.

Because you're like, you're a superstar. The only time I've ever heard you talk is when your perfectly crafted specials were out. Yeah. And then you see them, like, being normal and, like, kind of, like, thinking about something and, like, saying it. Kind of uncomfortable and awkward. I think we're thinking about certain people. Yeah. And then you see them like being normal and like kind of like thinking about something and like saying it. Kind of uncomfortable and awkward.

I think we're thinking about certain people. Yeah, yeah. And it's like but then you go oh shit that's the superpower. That's the thing.

That's it. That's a good point. That now it either like we're talking about insecurity is a fire, right? It either is the furnace that heats the whole building up

or it's the thing that burns the whole thing down, right? That's what they said about the white guy that played for Duke. What's that white guy that played for Duke? Yeah. That's what Coach K said about Christian Laettner. He's like, the fire in him is either the furnace that heats the whole building or it's the fire that burns it down.

Right. Let that shit heat the whole building, bro. Yeah. You got to keep it in check. Let it rip! Let it rip! Yeah, you right. What?

You're yelling so loud. Yeah, I'm yelling. Oh, I forgot you got the headphones on. My bad. My bad, everybody at home. I just need Akash to feel himself today, man. I need you to feel yourself today, man. And don't be fucking afraid to ask me for nothing.

Who else I'm going to give it to? I don't like none of these comics. You know what I mean? I got to help them because I love comedy, you know what I mean? But I know they were all talking mad shit. You know what I mean? So before we got shit moving, so... Hey, let me tell you something.

You right. I know! And you know what? It's one of the funniest things. It's like, I don't care. Because I understand why this shit was talked about. I gotta forgive you for me. Not you, but for the people who talk shit.

I gotta. It's funny getting texts, but for the people who talk shit. I got to. It's funny getting texts from people I know used to talk shit. Man, I love everything you're doing. It's so inspiring. My man, thanks, bro. I didn't mean thanks, but thanks, brother. Yeah. Thank you, brother.

Because I don't harbor none of that shit. I don't harbor it. You know what I mean? What is it? Why harbor it? Why? What does it do? No, that's a perspective of success man fuck all these motherfuckers bro you want to know some shit

we love everybody all right don't love i love everybody okay okay when you see me talk shit about anybody fuck these guys i don't like none of these guys. I'm sarcastic. You know what I mean? But like, I, look, man, that's all I'm saying. We had a fucking,

we had a cool week. We had a cool week. It's good to be back, man. It is good to be back. It's good to be back. It's good to be back. You want to talk about Japan? Yes.

Let me tell you something about this fucking place, bro. This is the most fascinating and intriguing and sad place on the fucking planet. It is... You will have the best of multiple things that you ever had in your entire life there. Such as? I had the best steak

I've ever had in my entire life there. Not even close. Not even close. The best steak I've ever had in my entire life there. Not even close.

Was it a place that was recommended or you stumbled upon it? My surety was figuring all these things out. Right. We'd go to this steak place. They don't talk to

each other in japan like nobody talks it's like everybody's by themselves yeah like first of all after you were in japan for a week you completely understand how they were willing to fly the planes into pearl harbor right it's like like people can't wait to die there they can't wait to commit suicide they have they have multiple ways son They have the forest. They got fly the planes into Pearl Harbor. They have Hari Kari, this thing where you cut your stomach open, take out all your intestines. Son,

they got all the different type. You know how Jordan colorways? That's what they got for suicide, son. They got tons of different... You drop every Saturday at 11 a.m. That's the new shit! That's the new shit, right? Jump in front of the subway, love committing suicide.

They love it. It's their favorite thing, right? It is a wild place. Son, we were at this steak spot, right? The guy cuts, I don't know one of these vegetables zucchini garlic

okay yeah you know that one it's a it's like kind of a vegetable I don't even think you can eat it like that but

it's more like a spice or something right yeah but it's a vegetable like when it's in its entirety. Y'all know what I'm talking about or no? Yo, real talk? Yeah.

Is that a vegetable, son? Yeah, it's a vegetable. I'm pretty sure. It is. Yeah, okay, okay. I don't know. Because it's big. Son, my man took it out, right?

Started chopping that shit up, right? And it's a flat table like this, but it's made out of metal. It's like a grill, but it's not a grill. It's like where they put the hamburgers at atcdonald's you know i'm talking about the flat stainless steel counter stainless steel hot put some oil down cuts the garlic real thin he starts making chips out of the garlic right takes his beef kobe beef, Wagyu, Kobe beef. They let the cows listen to classical music. They like feed the cows

a beard. Jerk them off as a whole thing. They fucking, I think they jerk them off. I just made that up. Oh, I know. I'm like,

what the fuck is going on here? Son, they massage them, son. They do crazy shit to these cows. Dude, Hindus would really love this up until the end. We'd be really into that shit up until about, up until they pulled out that fucking machete.

We'd be like, what's going on now? Wait a minute. That's where they probably got it from. Right? The Buddhism got there from India. Yeah. Right? And it was like, by the time they got there, like, fuck it, we hungry, son.

I ain't going to meditate all day and not have a burger after this shit. I've been thinking about this burger all fucking day. Give me some garlic chips. So you take the garlic chip, you take a little wasabi. They teach you how to have every bite. Everything's like a little wasabi, garlic chip on top.

You take that. It is the best steak you've had. It's butter. Right. It is butter. Okay? Best steak I ever had. You ready for this one?

I couldn't, I didn't even have the heart to admit it, but I'll fucking say it right now. You ready? Best pizza I've ever had in my entire life. Oh my God. Son! Oh my God. Get the fuck out of here.

Son! How? Yo, turn his mic off. How? Son, Akash sing the nicest comic in New York, yo. Akash sing the nicest comic in New York, yoash Singh, the nicest comic in New York, yo. Real talk. Let's go.

Okay. Son. Look, look. No bullshit. It was bare minimum top three, and I'm only saying it because they're Asian, and I can't fathom that they could make a pizza good. I can't fathom.

If it was an Italian making that pizza, I'd go, you made the best pizza I've ever had in my entire life. Fam, am I one to get credit? Why was it so good? Yeah, you got it. You got it. Come on, tell me. Okay.

Okay, we're going to get into it. We're going to get into it. Take us through the experience of eating the pizza. Okay, let me tell you. Your shorty suggests pizza. What's your first thought? Shorty suggests, first of all, she didn't suggest it. I suggested it because I haven't been eating fish.

I ain't going to eat another fish in my entire life. Okay. Okay. If you think that Americans are the reason why there's no more fish in the sea, go to Japan. They eat and order fish. Everything is fish. Breakfast, fish. Two different types of fish.

That's, no. Lunch, fish. Dinner, fish. All they're eating is fish. It's constant. That's why they want to kill themselves. Real talk also, it's redundancy. You know what I'm saying?

It's like, you eat fish, I want to kill myself if I had to eat another fish. No, they want to kill themselves because mercury poisoning. I don't know what that means, but... Mercury's in the fish. Mercury's in a thermometer, stupid. Yeah. What are you talking about? He's in a thermometer, stupid.

Yeah. What are you talking about? That's where they get the mercury from the thermometers from fish? I don't know where it comes from. Fish aren't supposed to have mercury, but water's polluted, so they get mercury in them. Yeah. And then they get mercury. Because we're not recycling thermometers? Something.

I don't know. The fish are eating the thermometers? Is that what you're saying? That's a good question. Ed, can you look up how does mercury get in the ocean? And then that shit mercury poisoning makes you go crazy.

Alright, well that must be it. Anyway. Bruh, I think you might have solved it. Fish. Fish. Amazing. Okay?

Obviously, don't worry about this, Ed. Close it because it's too distracting. We're gonna get there. You just look at it yourself and when we come back to you for that information,

then you can talk. Okay? Fucking dumbass. Stupid motherfucker. God damn, man. Fat fuck. That's my new shit. I'm going to call him fat.

We haven't done that yet. I know. We never once commented on his waist. I know, but now you're going to get commented on. You're like a boy's husky. Motherfucker look like a Mexican toadstool. Every time you walk in a room I hear

da da da da da da da da Senor Frogs over here. Isn't that the shit from Mario Kart at the beginning of every episode? Da da da da da da da da Bing. Bing. Bing. of every other... Dun dun da dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Look, look, look. Hey, yeah. Yeah, what?

You can't say nothing, can you? Can't say nothing. I bet you look heller like a frog, son. That shit is wild. Fucking Budweiser frog over here. Added, you got to have some comebacks. No, you're not coming back. I don't think you're coming back to the dessert tray, motherfucker. Go on, son.

Now you're stressed, right? You're thinking. He's just typing random shit into the computer. He's typing random shit. He didn't know what to do. We went into his DJ posture. You saw that shit? He put his fucking ear on his shoulder.

You went like this. You had your ear on your shoulder. Look, back to these Japanese's Okay I had the best sushi I ever had in my life Right Obviously Not Jiro

I got a bone to pick with this motherfucker Let me tell you something about Jiro Okay We should have taken that guy out in World War II. Okay? We missed with Jiro. That's fraud, okay? Listen, for those of you guys who don't know, well, I already spoke about it on the podcast.

I dream of Jiro. Jiro dreams of sushi, is the name of the thing. It's a Netflix documentary. He's not dreaming of sushi, let me tell you that much, okay? He's dreaming of something else i was so excited to go to this fucking dinner i was geeked for you son do you know i bought a suit so keep in mind that keep in mind the dinner is a thousand dollars me and my shorty right i buy a buy a suit. $500 each or $1,000 each? $500 each. Okay.

$1,000. That's crazy, bro. Son. Wait till you hear about this dinner, okay? You're like an angry Kramer right now. Okay, ready? Here we go. $1,000 dinner, right?

Pre-booked. We get it. I'm so fucking hyped. Yeah. We start looking up the right way to eat the food, how to operate in the gym. Okay. You got to wear a suit?

Okay. Boom. I got to wear a suit. I go buy a fucking suit. Right? Do they even have sizes for you in Japan? Damn. I bought it in America. Okay.

I was prepared. I brought the suit over there. I brought a new pair of shoes. I bought the belt. I bought the shirt. I spent $1,000 on the suit. The whole thing. I'm 2,000 deep for Giro, okay?

We go to Giro, right? We're running late. The shit is in the subway. You can't even find it. You got to go through some back entrance. It's like you're trying to get into a nightclub in the 80s, like some real crazy shit. We're running mad late.

Shorty got on heels and shit. She's, you're rushing too. We should go this. And I developed a cool way to tell her to shut up without saying shut up. I just go, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. That's not nice. That's not nice.

Shut up is like aggressive, but if you go ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. They don't really know what to do. They just stop. You're mad. You're psychotic. Why? Is it good? Hey, just stop. You're mad. Yo, the pa-pa-pa-pa-pa. You're psychotic, son. Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa. Why, it's good. Son, I had to improvise.

We were about to be late. You can't be late. That's the shit my girl would do. You cannot be fucking late to a $1,000 dinner. Just $1,000. He's a Japanese. He don't got no fucking flexibility. They've never been late in their whole life. Yeah.

Okay? These are very princi in their whole life. Okay? These are very principled, formal people. Okay? I pull up in. I pull up in. I pull up in. I pull up in. Okay?

We finally get there. Three minutes to spare. We sit down. Thank God we got it. Okay? Would you like me to take your jacket? The girl at the door says, I didn't even get to show Jiro. I didn't get to show him my blazer yet.

You know what I mean? But I reluctantly give the double breasted. So Jiro never saw a double breasted. We sit down ready for sushi. Keep in mind, I know some of you look at me right now like I don't know sushi at all. I'm some white motherfucker. I don't understand these things. But you know what I did that day?

I went to the fish market from Jiro Dreams of Sushi. Oh. Yeah, that morning, 6 a.m. And you know what I did immediately after? I saw the fresh tuna get caught. I went to one of the restaurants at the old fish market that has the fresh tuna, and I had sushi for breakfast. I had the best sushi I ever had in my entire life.

That morning? That morning. The recommendation from our homeboy, Tao, that came to the podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I tell you that this sushi was incredible, you never had it in your entire life

and there's something different with tuna than everything else. The fish tuna is like that steak, butter. It is butter on rice. You never experienced like the tuna we have here

and the salmon, you know how they're like almost interchangeable? Yeah. Tuna is so unique in texture and flavor from every other fish that you've tried you see why they're obsessed with it i had the best sushi i ever had in my entire life i doubled down i ordered another round and i heard the japanese guy americano i heard that was japanese honestly japanese that's italian I heard him say. That was Japanese? Honestly, Japanese is the weirdest language. Bro, I'm telling you.

It's, listen, of course you think that you always think about that. But it's more melodic. That's how you say Grand Hyatt. Grand Hyatt. Right? That's what you say? Son, I don't speak no Japanese. Yes, I don't speak no Japanese, but I heard little words.

You basically just say condiments. Condiments. Honey mustard. Right? Son, you walk into the restaurant. I don't know what they're saying, but they're like, honey mustard. Katsup. Honey mustard.

Katsup. Mayonnaise. You just say condiments. They just scream at condiments. They understand it. I don't know what's going on. I tried a sushi that morning, Akash. I tried a sushi that morning.

I prepared myself a sushi. I took a nap. Son, I wasn't about to go to Jiro tired. I took a nap. I put on a suit. Pressed. I had that shit hanging for three days. I put on a suit. Pressed. I had that shit hanging for three days.

Put it in the shower. I put the shirt in the shower to get the wrinkles out. Yeah, that's what's up. Come on, bro. It's Jiro. He dreams of sushi. That's what you nap did. You nap to dream of sushi. I was dreaming of sushi too, Akash.

I was dreaming of it. I show up to this. I sit down. No jacket. I sit down. I show up to this. I sit down. No jacket. I sit down. I look up. I see Jiro. I'm like, wow, he looks great still.

And then I realize. Oh, fuck. It was actually his son. That's a problem. Now, the son who was in the documentary. I'm like, my, he's aged. But this is still awesome that I at least

get the son. Because Jiro's 94 years old. I was worried he wasn't even going to be there. So I was like, boom, we got the son from the documentary. We're good. I look to his left and there's Jiro. Word? Jiro and his son. I got the double whammy.

Oh, you're hyped. I'm fucking hyped. Can we get you something to drink? Green tea? I know better. I looked at the rules. Don't order alcohol. It's disrespect.

I sit down. Shorty sits down. Green tea. Green tea right there. Piping hot. Piping hot. You're even more excited. I'm so so excited but it was so hot akash i tried to drink i had to put it back down let it cool off i had to let it cool off it was so

piping hot it was piping bro what was it piping bro son it was piping right we we get the first piece of sushi. Right? I put it in my mouth. I take two bites. Almost threw up on Jero's son. Almost threw up on Jero's son. The wasabi started to crawl down my nose. Okay? The wasabi is crawling down my nose. I'm trying to hold it in and then i realize if i

don't suck this back i'm gonna throw up all over jiro's son so i go i suck all the horseradish or whatever the wasabi made out of back up into my nose i'm okay, maybe that's expanding our palate. He's just setting the tone. Right? I take another sip, piping hot fucking green tea. Boiling hot green tea. Point it down. Next piece of sushi comes right away. It's, once you're in there, you're fucking in there. It's

on. Convey your belt. Take it. We don't use chopsticks. We read. You use your fingers. Home. Second piece of sushi. More wasabi. When I tell you I almost left the restaurant to throw up,

I'm being 100% honest with you. Keep in mind, I had fresh sushi from the fish market this morning. No issue. This is something specific to Jiro. Two pieces in. Almost threw up. Take another sip of the green tea. Boiling hot.

Just molten lava. My whole mouth is burned. My tongue is burned. Everything's burned. But you know what? I'm actually grateful because now I can taste the wasabi less that my whole mouth is burnt. Right? A guy comes up.

He starts about to pour more green tea into my cup. Right? Green tea? Right? I go, no, no, no. Thank you. No, thank you. He looks at me in front of my shorty.

In front of Giro. in front of Jiro Jr. And he goes, oh, it's a free. I just paid $1,000. You think I can't afford whatever the fuck the cost of a little extra green tea would be to say that to me was mind-boggling mind-boggling no i want to cool down they don't understand anything out there nobody speaks english in japan go through the rest of the sushi 10 Ten of them were edible. The other ten, horrific. Horrific.

Inedible. You couldn't eat it. Even if you could eat the wasabi, it just didn't taste good. Did she like it? Hated it. Really? Hated it. Hated it.

So what I don't understand is each piece was just covered with wasabi? I thought like it's- They hid it underneath. I don't know what happened. Dude, I honestly, I don't. Listen, I wasn't around for Pearl Harbor. I promise you, it was not as bad as what I had to go through

on behalf of the Japanese. On behalf of the Japanese. Like as I'm eating this, I'm like internment camps, yes. Round them up. Put them in the camp. Like, as I'm eating this, I'm like, internment camps, yes. Round them up. Put them in the camp. Like, why do you let... This is poison.

You're poisoning a human being here. Son, $1,000. They just give the suicide bombers wasabi so they'd rather crash a plane than take them out. In a heartbeat, dude. Dude, I could not fucking believe it, bro. Had Tal been to Giro?

Uh-oh. Had you heard from other people that it's not that great? We go to a bar right afterwards. It's a bar called High Five where they just make a cocktail for you based on what you like. You just tell them a few things

and they just potion up a cocktail. It was really impressive. And the first thing we said was, yeah, we just came from Giro. And the guy goes, didn't like it, huh? Wow. Everybody that goes there afterwards says the same thing. It's a bullshit marketing ploy.

Don't go. Don't waste your money. The best sushi you'll have is in Tokyo and you can walk into any sushi restaurant and get it. Don't waste your money on that fucking shit. $1,000. It's just so funny how hyped we were to see this guy. I was starstruck.

I was looking at his hands. He has beautiful hands. They both have such beautiful hands. What's beautiful about them? The only part of their body that doesn't age. The Japanese or just those two? Those two. Maybe they'd be rubbing them

in the wasabi no son it's not the wasabi it's the rice there's a yeast they use in the rice that this that this like

makeup company uses to make SK2 is the name of the company have you guys heard of this company ask your girl about it I guarantee that she knows

and they use the same property to like make your skin not age and I swear to god this shit was magic. I'm looking at two guys. Jiro's 94. His son looks fucking 84.

They look old as shit. Their hands look 19. 19. Immaculate. Wow. What, you're going to have everybody just throwing rice on their face? Real talk, man. That's probably what they put in Hennessy barbecue rings or whatever black people eat.

What does that got to do with it? I was going to say, that's why y'all age so good. Consuming all them Hennessy buffalo wings. Wait, so what's the best pizza, though? Oh, yeah, you didn't finish that one. Pizza strata. But what makes it so good? You don't even eat bread, so I don't even respect your opinion.

You have to understand, and that's reasonable, what the Japanese do is they're craftsmen. They just perfect anything. Anything that happens, they just perfect it. Like breakdancing. Son, breakdancing. What's it called? Suicide, subways, cleanliness, ice cream.

It don't matter. They're just going to find a way to perfect it. They just stick because that's their only outlet. They got no more outlets. Son, we got yelled at in a bar. My shorty and I were kissing. Wow. You could smoke cigarettes in a bar.

You could smoke cigarettes in a bar. You could blow cancer into someone's face. But if you're kissing a girl, they're like, hold on, hold on, hold they'll, please stop it. The guy ran over. The bartender ran over. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's wild.

Affectionless culture. Everything about the culture is commodified and transactionized, right? So it's like, I feel like I want some affection. I want to cuddle. Well, you'll go to this cuddle bar. I just want to talk to a girl. You'll go to this bar where girls come over and they talk to you. I want to come now. You'll go to this massage place where they jerk you off and then you'll come.

Son, it seems like it's great, but it's a completely inorganic form of living. Oh, yeah. Right? It's unnatural. Yeah, nobody thinks the japanese are organic people i never thought of that son it is mind-boggling but they create this perfection you know so it's like one of these this is what it is japan is like the greatest hot dog you've ever had or the greatest sausage greatest piece of chorizo you've ever had

right in that it's so amazing but you don't want to know what went into it you know what i'm saying like the ingredients are like yeah like you don't want to know the ingredients of a culture that creates these perfectionists right right right You don't want to know what it takes to get to there. Like, dude, it was, I mean, like, dude, there's crazy shit about the culture. Like, it's the only culture in the whole world where a wife can sue her husband's lover. Oh, that's dope.

So if you're cheating, your wife can sue the if you're cheating yeah your wife can sue the woman you're cheating with yeah but what can she do to you I mean she could take half of your shit too oh wow

or whatever it is but like think about it at first you're like that's crazy that's brilliant it's genius it's brilliant

they figured out how to cut down on cheating don't punish the husband keep these hoes away from us keep these hoes away I've been saying that Don't punish the husband. Keep these hoes away from us. Keep these hoes away. I've been saying that for years. What's that? Just keep the hoes away, man.

There it is. The hoes be fucking shit up. Son, but what a genius. So now these hoes are like, how badly do I want this dick? Do I want this dick so badly I'll pay for it? That's what I'm saying. That's a brilliant idea. There's no doubt that they're genius about shit.

But there are problems like when I start feeling bad for women then you know I rarely feel bad for these hoes but then there were times there

where I was like yo come on give me an example first of all there's zero like they are the leaders in fashion

for men right women dress like they're in Little House on the Prairie. These bitches are in stockings. Like Hasidic Jews. Hasidic Jews.

Like every store. Turning butter ass looking ass bitches. Yes. Making fucking wicker baskets. Yeah. Like literally

Really? No fashion at all for the chicks. It's trash. I watched Crazy Rich Asians and it was getting kind of fly. That was Singapore, son. Yeah.

Ain't that the safe shit? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Singapore, Chinese. You know what I mean? They're a little different with it. They're a little different with it. These dudes, like the women are, they said there's a statistic that said 1% of Japanese women have orgasms.

That seems kind of high, don't it? That's a lot. That's some giving ass dudes i was like that's about accurate one percent percentage god damn these guys be working shit so look maybe all i'm saying is like like they're mad the bowing shit, like, chill out with that shit, son. How many times we going to bow, bro? Like, one is good. That's why Japanese dudes be all hunched over when they get old. They've been bowing too much.

They've been bowing too much, son. They fuck you up. Oh, you have to keep bowing? It's not just one bowing you out? I cut that shit off eventually. I hit them with that. Like, I'll give them a little, you know. But.

You just bob it. I'll give him a little, you know. But... You just bob it. Son, when... Like the service people in the service industry... How do I say this? I'm not trying to say Japanese people are like squirrels, but like... You know how like squirrels are like...

That's how they are. That's how Japanese people are. You're like, excuse me, or something like that. Or you tell the cab driver, sir, we're actually going to... You know what I mean? Yo, I'm telling... They freak out.

I just see one calm, chilling... If you think about it, think about their culture, right? It's either work 17 hours, Tokyo, go crazy or what's the opposite is calm water flowing taoist monk that's japan didn't know they need that shit it's one or the other but they need it bro ah dude and then kyoto don't ever go to kyoto what's kyoto kyoto is the biggest piece of It's one or the other, but they need it, bro. Ah, dude. And then Kyoto, don't ever go to Kyoto. What's Kyoto? Kyoto's the biggest piece of horse shit in the entire world.

Don't ever go. I never even heard of it. Kyoto's this city a couple hours away from Tokyo, and it's basically like Westerners, the way we think of Japanese people, we think they're like walking around in kimonos with fucking samurai swords and shit. That's Kyoto. So when we go to Tokyokyo and we don't see that we're like what the fuck is this i would i would have been disappointed right so you want

to see a bitch in a kimono right with the sandals and like walk wobbling and shit like the paper houses yeah so like with the rice paper doors and shit yeah so the closest city that's got that is kyoto and everybody's like oh my god ky Kyoto's so awesome. But it's no different than when tourists come to America and they think we're all cowboys. Yeah. They're like, oh, finally, we saw America. You go to San Antonio, we saw America.

It's like, what? That ain't America. It's cowboys. They're not even really around anymore. Yeah. That's Kyoto. So don't go there. Anyway, that's it. Look, that's Kyoto. So don't go there. Anyway, look, that's it. We don't have to talk about Japan anymore. Fascinating place.

Go check it out. It is a fascinating place. Go check it out. You get good material out of it? I don't know. At this point, I'm not exactly sure. You got to wrap your mind around it. I have to.

Something good will come from that, though. is something good it just needs some time i need a process some time i did think of one joke about how nothing to do with japan just my shorty having her period and uh i think i can tell you in a relationship by the way you hit period. Yeah, I slapped that B. She was real. You've been through it, son. You know what? Because we were watching Harry Potter, right?

I was just doing anything to calm her down. She brought me time for one of the... I'm sure that did help whenever she talked bup bup bup bup bup she probably wouldn't do it let me tell y'all something bup bup bup bup

don't work on a period bro that shit don't work on a menstrual cycle so I'm trying to calm her down we're watching she probably wasn't supposed to have a period

for another week and she was like I had enough of this so it's even before the period starts. Oh, PMS is before the period. How many days are you going to be upset? How many days do y'all want to be upset? A week with a period?

Then before the period? And sometimes after. That's the whole month. Did you just now start fucking? No, I guess I never really listened to them or something prior or I never put together. I remember MTV wardrobe lady, Jocelyn Jacobs, she told me that. She was like, oh, the week before the period. I didn't know that either.

I was like, the week before? She's like, yeah, and the week of. And sometimes the week after. And then she goes, you basically get about one good week out of us. And that week ain't all that great, to be honest with you. Son, I'm watching Harry Potter and the Goblet or some shit. Right? Goblet or something.

I don't know what it is. I'm reading the books. We're watching this stupid-ass fucking movie. This Harry Potter shit everybody loves so much. This shit is so dumb. Son, I love that shit. Shut up. I'm reading the books right now and Jordan Peterson

talked about it on Rogan which blew my mind. You're reading the books now? Yeah. You could be more gay, son. Son, this how it's going. He going through it, son. He going through it, son.

This how it's going. This how it's going. I made a deal with my girl. His girl thought he was on his period so she got him the books. She was like, yo, read them shit. Calm down.

Son, here's how it's going. I made a deal with my girl that if she read Rich Dad Poor Dad I'll read the Harry Potters oh she's spending all your money oh we

we yo I told her I was going to do a bit about this we were in Amsterdam he's like I thought you know your girl's spending

your money we started giving her finance books going through finance this is wifey so it's like let's figure this out. If we're going to buy houses and shit, we need to do this right.

But I will say this. I made fun of her for this, and I told her this is going to go into a bit somehow. But, you know, you pay for your shit internationally, right? And my girl and I have been internationally probably every year we've been together at least once. And I asked her to, I gave her my card. I was like, yo, can you pay for this? I got to do this thing. And the way she looked at the credit card machine was like she was looking at a fucking

like, like a fucking x-ray machine or something. She was just like, I don't, where does the card go? Like she was trying to do nuclear fission, trying to pay for one thing. And I was like, we eating at least a hundred meals. And this lets me know you haven't paid for a single fucking one of them. Damn, son. She was looking at that shit like, what? What is it? I don't. Yo, they don't know. They don't know, son. She was looking at that shit like, what? What is it?

I don't... Yo, they don't know, bro. They don't know, dog. They don't know. And then they get on that period, bro. And you know what's funny? I was planning on a period coming and I was like,

yo, let me ask you something. I was like, yo, let me just ask you something. Like, I know when girls get on their period, right? Because when you're on vacation, you got no respite. Oh, it's y'all too.

Exactly. You gonna fight. Exactly. Yeah. So it's like, when you're on vacation, it's you guys the whole day. So you could,

you could bottle up that period for like two hours to hang out with me. But it cannot be bottled for 24 hours. The period is gonna leak. Right, Akash? So,

so, I knew it was coming, so I, I go like this, I was like, yo, let me ask you something, like,

I was like, let me ask you some shit, yeah. I was like, so like, it's a crazy thing on your period when like,

it's, you know, affects you emotionally, you're, you know, like a woman's ability like it's you know affects you emotionally you're you know like a woman's ability to like you know make decisions and shit right so so so i go i go check it so i go i go i go i'll go so like let me just ask you like when you're going through your period and i feel like you're making decisions that are motivated by your period. Do you want me to like bring that up? Like what's the best way for me to say like this is a menstrual decision. This is not a you decision, right?

Like what's the best way? Like give me the best way to say that, right? So here's me thinking. Here's me thinking. Here's me thinking. You know what I mean? Son. Son. Yeah.

Son. Son. I've been there so many times. Let me ask this question in a way. You racked your brain trying to think of a way to ask this question. I'm like, yo, you just tell me. brain trying to think of a way to ask this question. I'm like, yo, you just tell me. Like, you tell

me what you want me to say to you when you're on your period. And you think, you see it playing out so differently in your mind. You think he's going to get met with like, oh, I'll tell you what to say. I've had this conversation with my brother before. I'm like, yo,

I'm like, yo, when you feel the, when you feel the, you know what I mean? When you feel the crazy coming on, like, I'm like, yo, I'm like, yo, when you feel the, when you feel the, you know what I mean? When you feel the crazy coming on, like, how you want me to let you know? Like, how you want me

to let you know I'm sensing it so I could tell you and we could go figure this out? We got a comic friend who's bipolar. We tell him banana split whenever we're worried

that he's having a manic episode. Safe word. I need the period safe word. Yeah. Right? You need a crazy safe word. I tried, I was like, yo. She wanted a period safe word. I wanted a period safe word so right you need a crazy safe word i tried i was

like i want a period safe words and i was like yo i was like yo all right boom what now that you're saying you know what i mean is it but it's definitely not with the mcdonald's definitely definitely not definitely not you can't hear it but about i'm hating this I'm dying so I'm like how do you want and then she tells me you don't have to say you're doing this because but you can bring it up as a suggestion and I listened to that

because it was before the period they're logical beings before the period, right? So we're watching. Nah, son. Nah, son. Now, mine is logical, smart, like on, you know what I mean?

Shorties, you got it. The fucking Goblet movie is on, right? And in the Goblet movie, one of the teachers is a werewolf. And when the full moon comes... Every 28 days? Every 28 days on the full moon. Every month, every literal lunar calendar, the full moon comes. And then the teacher uncontrollably turns into a savage werewolf that cannot be reasoned with at all.

A monster, if you will. A monster, if you will. And I'm like, this shit ain't about wolves. This is about wombs. This is about periods the whole time. It's about wounds. Wombs. Oh, my God. Son, the werewolf is the period the whole time. It's about wounds. Wounds. Oh, my God.

Son, the werewolf is the period the whole time. They made it about men so that women wouldn't know that we're talking about them. That's good. But in reality, it's always been about women and periods. And that's the only thing funny to happen. That's great, though. In Japan. That's a great bit.

There could be something funny to it, but bro. Oh, son. You know how crazy it is to have that conversation when you're in a fight and you're like, yo, you realize this is not a fight tomorrow when the moon is not full? Oh, man. Jesus Christ, Akash. Yo, y'all didn't know Schultz in a relationship. He be having a relationship material, man. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ, Akash. Yo, y'all didn't know Schultz in a relationship. He be having a relationship material, dog.

This is funny. Nah, he's... Nah, he's... This is much more like handling it, like, much better and all that, but he be having material about it. Well, we don't see... Yesterday, I saw him. I mean, that's a great bit.

Can I say one thing? Can I say one thing, though? This is how smart this fucking shorty is, right? We in this fight, right? You know how the fight always becomes some other shit that ain't even about the fight, right? Oh, yeah. Of course, right? Right.

And I got certain things that are like no-goes for me. Like you can't talk about career i'm being busy or none of this kind of shit i'm traveling none of those things that stress me out we don't even discuss those things and she started and she starts going like i understand that but you know there's certain times where you know when you feel insecure certain things are a little bit more volatile than they are when you're not feeling insecure and you're feeling valid very valid and completely so like in those moments what is the best way to just articulate my feelings so i could get the validation that i need to feel good and i realize this chick is getting me to agree to a way for her to complain.

Yeah. This is genius. This is fucking genius. As soon as you said it, I was like, ooh, she got you. Holy shit. So here I am explaining to her how to complain to me. She's good. I like her.

I like her. She's good. That's good. It's good, though. Otherwise otherwise she's just going to— Listen, I'm going to be honest. If you don't give her that, it's just going to build. Good. Yup.

Yup. Build it. Aw, man. Build the wall. It's good until it blows up, son. Damn, one day I'm going to talk. But yeah, no shit. That shit builds.

That shit builds that shit builds let me tell you something if you if you not with a white girl ain't no building that shit is all floods get you a brown shorty

and it's all floods so so I saw him yesterday and I was like yo I was like yo how's the trip and he was like he was like oh yeah yeah Japan was good I was like, oh, how's the trip? He was like, oh, yeah, yeah, Japan was good.

I was like, no, no, no. He went away with his shorty for the first time. How was the trip? You're going to fight, though. Yeah. I'm not going to lie. It was the best trip I've ever taken in my life. I mean that 100%.

It was by far the best trip I've ever taken in my life. Yeah, yeah. 100%. That's good. It was a mind-blowing experience in a lot of ways. Yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. That's good. It was, it was like, it was a mind-blowing experience in a lot of ways. Japan was unreal.

And I mean that. Sincerely. And, she did all the shit I don't want to do. Like, she, like,

found the cool restaurants, the cool places. I don't want to do that. I'm not trying to be, yo, and also like, she's young. You want to do it,

but you don't want to book it. You don't want to Google it young You wanna do it But you don't wanna book it I wanna google it You wanna do You don't wanna go through it That's something I realize You need The person you're with Gotta like doing the shit

You hate doing That's your teammate That's how it's Boom Yeah You know what I mean It's God They got

Y'all can't Bro so Figured out all the shit Knows knows the address to show to the taxi driver, so I don't gotta fucking. Ed, shut your fat ass up on your phone. Son of a fuck, dog. Was that your gums? It was my knees. Japanese people eat on their knees too.

All right. Listen. Is there anything else? Are we just having a venting day? Is that what's going on? No, man. Good for you. No, if you travel, you're going to fight. It's like you said, even's going on? No, man. Good for you. No, if you travel, you're going to fight.

It's like you said, even living together, you go to work, you have breaks. When you travel together, it's you. Yeah. It's y'all everywhere. No, we did good, bro. We had one. It was just one the whole time. Something but.

Last day. Same. Me and mine. Same. Last day. It's almost like y'all need to get it out. Are you going to go the whole time? Real tough.

Are you going to go the whole time without You're going to go the whole time? I ain't going to get my money's work. Oh my God. Alex cannot wait to contribute right now. I'm waiting to see about this call. Let me see. Oh, fuck. I forgot. We got advertisements.

Oh, yeah. Let's do these mids. We gotta get these mid rolls. While you look at that up, do you guys run the red light? What's that? Fucking a girl in a parrot. Okay. So.

um so you know what man son there's a grace period yes son what you talking about fuck out of here

so that is really the way to combat PMS dead ass cause they be hornier too when they talk

too much just whip your dick out just whip your dick out that's it they shut up I don't know

if you ever did it if it was just a premise but you said something like they say women are hornier in their periods and they get

hornier as they age isn't it ironic that the times they're horny are just the times we don't want to fuck them

are they horny or do we just't want to fuck them? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they horny or do we just not want to fuck them so they want to fuck? It's like now you know what it's like to be a guy. You want to have sex all the time when nobody wants to fuck you all the time. Oh, man. Yeah, okay, that's a good thing. It works every time. Yeah, but then you got to have sex all the time.

It is good thing. It works every time. Yeah, but then you got to, you know, I'm sexing a woman. Yeah, I am. It is a thing. That period is a fucking thing, man. It is. Yeah, you just do it in the bed? You'll do it right in the bed, huh? After the shower. Why not just do it in the shower?

Nah, that's dangerous. Like you should slip? Yeah. Yeah, bro, you're trying to break both your hips. You're crazy for that one, bro. Yeah, really? You got your fucking, your interbs come on the floor like. You're crazy.

That's a real hazard, dog. You right, bro. I didn't even think about that one. Slippery when nutted in, bro. I'm so old. I want to get like one of those things in the shower so you don't slip just for me. Oh, that little mat shit? The mat.

That's for the longest. Since I was like 16, I threw one of those things in the shower so you don't slip just for me. Oh, that little mat shit? The mat. That's for the longest. Since I was like 16, I threw one of those things. Being black too dangerous to take other chances. I slipped one time and I would never do that shit again. Y'all, y'all, y'all. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh my god Oh my god We could just insert the ads at the end I know

They're gonna think we just edited that Nah it's me trying to figure out how I'm mad proud of myself Because I fuck a lot For how old I am Okay Like I don't like Fucking all the time

Okay But I knew When I was on I'm on the vacay Yeah You know what I mean It's just me and Shorty Yeah

She gonna expect some dick Yeah So I was trying to ration I actually didn't even mind Jiro I just pretended to be angry Just so we didn't have to Fuck this Fuck this babe I actually didn't even mind, Jiro. I just pretended to be angry just so we didn't have to fuck.

Fuck this, babe. I'm going to bed. I can't be up right now. Mouth all hot from wasabi. I can't do nothing. Oh, my God. Nah. Oh, fuck.

But in all seriousness, man, it's like... Y'all got to get a different side of Schultz, man. I like sprung Schultz. You got to get a different side of Schultz, man. I knew it was something with his motherfuckers coming in Birkenstocks. I'm like, oh, man. Oh, man, he likes this one. Did I tell the story about what we're going to do to Mark?

Yes. So funny. You didn't tell me. You told me. You don't want to say it out here because then he's going to tell you. You're not going to listen to this? Nah, you're not going to listen to this. We'll tell the flagrant fans so they know what to expect. I saw them white ones, though.

I ain't wearing them shits. Yeah, they're fire, son. It's not. Son, they're fire, son. He got me white Birkenstocks I guess my black skin I'm gonna look like Fuck it

That's gonna look hot That's gonna look hot You buy off whites all the time You got all white off whites Your girls are white Yeah Since when you don't like All white shit

You know what I mean But she's Swedish Yeah white you gotta be like meatballs? Alex is going through it, son. One minute, Alex going through it. You going through it or what? Stop. What are you talking about? we could have done that yeah i'll figure out all right guys we're gonna we're gonna fill you in we gotta we gotta pay bills all right let's take a break for a second we got some bills to pay

guys if you're listening to this right now, that means the podcast is available on Audio Mac. Audio Mac is the free music and podcast streaming app that lets you stream and download the hottest albums, mixtapes, songs, playlists, and podcasts, along with Audio Mac exclusives. Discover the best new songs by browsing the trending page. You know how I feel about curation. I feel like the game is curation now. There's so much shit out there in the world that we need curators to come together and weed the bullshit. Audio Mac does that for you. Okay. Check out the library of carefully curated playlists. There's one for every mood you're in and take your favorite songs and podcasts offline to save your data and listen wherever you are. Audio Mac is here to move music forward. Available now on the App Store and Google Play.

It's Audio Mac, A-U-D-I-O-M-A-C-K. Give it a try. See if you like it. And also share your feedback with us. You know we love that. If it's something that you really like and you really believe in and y'all support, we keep rocking with it.

And if you guys come back and you say you didn't like it, we know, as simple as that. It's that simple. We're not going to take on ads that we haven't tried we don't we don't support we we fuck with these things that we promote here but we want to make sure that y'all having that experience as well um this episode is also brought to you by my favorite type of chew is blue chew let's let's let me tell you something let me tell you something you sprinkle a little blue chew this is the game changer right here you brushing your teeth before you go into bed okay this is what you do you put that toothpaste on crumble up that chew sprinkling on that toothpaste start brushing those teeth, brush your teeth for a good 10 minutes. That's 10 minutes of working it in, okay? After you brush your teeth,

you do your bedtime ritual. You put some lotion on you. That's another three to four minutes. Now you're not waiting around for the 20 for it to kick in. By the way, guys, blue chew is going to give you the best bone of your fucking life. You satisfy the fuck out of your girl. If you don't know this already, you crazy. This this is one of the best longest running sponsors of this podcast but i'm telling you this new way when you put that blue chew in that colgate when you put that blue chew in that colgate son you've done this i did this when i was in top on yo when she was on El Pidio

No, no, no, no, no You can't bust that down Nah, nah, nah, nah She caught that on a plane, bro She got that on a plane But real talk You got the business in business class No, no, no, no

Though we did Nah, nah Nothing, nothing, nothing Oh oh she caught that on the point i got the period yeah yeah so all i'm saying is bro that motherfucking blue shoe dog that little sprinkle little i put some sprinkle bro i put a little bit of sprinkle i put that sprinkle. Hey, bro. It's sprinkled on there. Dog. Dog. Brush them up.

I don't spit out. I don't spit out the toothpaste. That's wild, dog. Take it down. Take it down. This is why I've been shaking my head no the whole time because I'm like, you're not even consuming it. You just brushed your teeth and washed it out. Gut it. Why don't you just take the pill, son?

Say what? Just take the pill. I know. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know, dog. I why don't you just take the pill son say what just take the pill like what the fuck is wrong i don't know dog i really don't know you know it tastes fine can i be honest with y'all can i be honest with y'all it's good right can i be honest with y'all i don't know i don't know okay if this is just me being candid can i be candid let me be candid honey mustard i put that shit on the fuck you know what it is because the pill crushed a little bit it crushed a little bit because it was in travel i was in travel transit or whatever and so i took it out and i was like what do i do with this little crust and i had put that colgate on the toothbrush beautiful like in the commercial you know that

little swoop i had that swoop son and i had the swoop almost act, you know, that little swoop. I had that swoop, son. And I had the swoop almost act like a little spoon. That little swoop. Yeah. Excuse that little scoop. Right. You might need a little scoop. So I put that, I put that honey mustard.

I put that honey mustard. I put that blue chew on there. Honey mustard. Son, gutted that Colgate. Gang, gang, bro bro It's not even a Bang bang Bang bang gang gang Akash It's not even a game

Dude it's not even a fucking I need blue chew You be hogging it all Yo my bad son You right son I'ma give you some chew My bad That's on me

That's on me That's my bad You need one too? No Shout out to the asshole Who came up to me At one of my gigs pulled out a blue shoe was like yo bro you down for it right now i was like i was really hoping he wasn't trying to

fuck me wait a minute he came he asked that's right you want to share a blue chew he wanted to share a blue chew with me it's like gay ecstasy apparently just offering but shout out to him was he gay or was he straight i think it was mad lit he was very drunk and he was like he was just trying to relate, connect with you. He didn't realize how awkward that, that, that way.

That's fine. In the future, son, just throw an asshole up, chuck the asshole up, which I appreciate that too, by the way. That's all you need to do,

bro, because sharing blue chew with your boy, that's a little bit odd. Yeah. I don't know what y'all gonna do when that happens. I don't know. That ain't got proposition.

I don't even know it. I didn't think you were a good DJ until right now. Yup. Like, when a motherfucker comes up to you, when your DJ is so nice that a guy doesn't want to just give you regular dick, he wants to chew you out, bro. You know how nice you got to be at DJing, bro?

What did we say your DJ name was? DJ Obese? bro what did we say your dj name was dj obese no no no no what we say your dj name was i don't know stay in my lane that was funny we were doing that shit we be bullying eddie bro i love you though all right son we'll talk bluechew.com okay you go to bluechew.com bluechew.com, okay? You go to bluechew.com, bluechew.com. You use the offer code flagrant, okay? You're going to get it free. Free sample, you pay $5 shipping.

Free. Best boners of your fucking life. Show your girl the night of her life. Impress a girl you haven't slept with. Come through with the fucking hammer. I'm not playing around. We've been killing it with this partnership. The asshole army and blue blue chew has had a partnership

and we've been fucking murdering it so go out there go chew somebody out if you're a girl get your man to chew you out you deserve it you part of the asshole army you keeping it tight let him make it loose simple as that simple as that get out there that. Get out there. Live your best life. Bluetooth.com. Offer code flagrant. Make it happen. Let's get back to the show.

Yo, we got some shows coming up. Akash, why don't you start it up? Yo. Talk to the people. First of all, this Thursday, that's two days from today, me and my homies, the Brownish Comics, are at New York Comedy Club on club on 85 east fourth street 8 p.m show come through it's hysterical also i'm gonna be on tour the big desi energy tour bde in the building uh we're going to houston september 6th the secret group at 8 p.m uh september 7th we're in austin at the fallout theater at 7 we're back there the next day at 8.30. September 13th, we have two shows at Piano Fight in San Francisco, 8 o'clock and 10.30. The 19th, I'm in L.A. at the Comedy Store Belly Room.

They have apparently switched their ticket service. So no matter how much I harass them, they aren't putting their tickets online. But we're going to figure this out. The 20th, we're in Portland at Curious Comedy at 7.30 p.m. October 11th, Minneapolis, Sisyphus Brewing, two shows, 8 and 10.30. Come through I'm nice Get there son

He's nice yo Don't play around Fuck with your boy Akos Alright Um Guys Uh Surprise

Pop up show Uh Today This is coming up today At New York Comedy Club Schultz and Friends Um Come by

Tomorrow What do you You wanna come you do anything tomorrow I got a few shows yeah New York Comic Club what time uh 9 15 is the time to put me on this show where at um New York Comedy Club which one oh uh Gramercy I might be there anyway I got like an 840 spot there no no that's that's the show before okay yeah um so you're okay so um so yeah that's that's the that's the show before okay yeah um so you're okay so um so yeah that's that's gonna happen that's surprise show usually i don't talk about the shows i'm doing in the city unless it's like a big headline show but there might be some tickets left for this one if you hear this in the morning and you're in new york city and you want to pull up pull pull up. Holler at your boys. It's going to be a fun lineup.

Very fun lineup. Then we got Washington, D.C. this Thursday through Sunday. We added another show Thursday night. It's been crazy, man. Six shows sold out. We added a seventh show Thursday night. That looks like that's going to sell out soon. So get there real quick.

Get those tickets. D.C. Improv. Then Chicago. Early show sold out., get those tickets, DC Improv. Then Chicago, early show sold out. We're doing a late show as well. Thalia Hall Theater, beautiful theater. We've got a few tickets left for that. Go get that one, sell that real quick. Moscow. And then we got Australia, man. The Australia show, Sydney. The Sydney shows sold out, so we started releasing more tickets. Turns out the venue has more tickets, more seats available, so they added some seats to it. Thank you all so much, man.

They didn't even expect you guys to sell it out, so we added those seats. Those tickets are available right now on the TheAndrewSchultz.com website. Links for that. And then we're going to be in Adelaide, Perth, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne. Go check that out, man. Get those shows. And then there are more shows at theandrewschultz.com. Very excited about some new cities that we added to the show list.

Go check that out. We will see you soon. Peace. Let's get back to the show. Okay. Ed, shut the fuck up, dog. What's so funny? All right.

Yo, real talk. This is an interesting thing that happened to me this week i've had a very interesting interesting week um but when i was in japan i'm at this clothing store and this dude in the clothing store we're talking i got some shit and he was like you know yo i know some parties out here he didn't say it like that i don't know how he fucking said it but he basically alluded to having some parties out here. He didn't say it like that. I don't know how he fucking said it, but he basically alluded to having some parties out here. He's like, let me find you on Instagram and I'll do it.

I go to type my name on Instagram and nothing pops up. That's weird. Every time that's happened, my name has popped up. It's weird, right? Yeah. I'm like, oh, maybe it's a Japan thing, dog. Maybe it's just Japan. I scroll down further after typing my whole name in it.

And then when I type my name with a space, Andrew space Schultz, I don't pop up at all. I'm like, what the fuck? All these other people named Andrew Schultz, Andrew Schultz spelled wrong. Andrew Schultz spelled with an E at the end,

all these different types of Andrew Schultz, but my name don't pop up. I'm verified. I got 300,000 followers or whatever. I'm like, this is weird. I type my actual name, my whatever, Instagram name, my name. That shit pops up, right?

But it pops up below the scroll. Yeah. Right? So if you go on Instagram. A window of names pops up and you got to scroll down on the window to find you. Yes. Right below it. I'm like, that's convenient.

Yeah. That's convenient that my name doesn't pop up when you first put it, but you would have to scroll down to find it. Because who would ever scroll down? I was like, hmm, that's something weird. Then I got people starting to tell me that they can't find me on Instagram. I got people starting to tell me they can't add comments to my stories. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I ask about it, and apparently I got shadow banned

shadow ban is Instagram's way of saying hey behave you did something that apparently users didn't like so we're gonna punish you you've been a bad boy right people like when you tow the company line. Now, I'm not going to say that this is related. All I'm saying is I find it convenient that the week that the most famous rapper is DMing me. The week that Kevin Hart repeats the Eddie Murphy take I had about the pay-per-view. Verbatim. Verbatim. And he didn't say it as if it was his. He was like, someone was saying.

Oh, he said that? Yeah, he's like, someone was saying. Someone was saying. I love Kevin. I would hate a V. No, no, no. He said someone. He didn't know who I was, but that's fine.

But I find it coincidental that the second I start reaching the top of the biz, I get a little spanking. Because motherfuckers are on Instagram every single day shouting hate speech. Lying fucking crosses on fire, doing racist shit, alt-right shit, anti-Semitic shit. People just screaming through the rooftops. Violent. Violent, right? Fighting women women you know what i mean like there's crazy shit on instagram every single day not shadow man but also i'm shadow man and i think it is a combination of an opinion that they might not like and influence they'll let uninfluential people say whatever yeah you start

to show some influence and they're like oh we are quiet that shit y'all be careful chill the fuck out i go okay that's fine hopefully the shadow ban gets lifted if y'all know anything how to do it someone said it might take a couple weeks i don't know if you guys know anything about it please let me know it'd be nice to get rid of it that being said i instagram about it you guys had my back everybody was reposting stories this kind of shit i might be the only person that during a shadow of man increased followers all of a sudden i start to realize this is not the first time it's gonna happen i've been waiting for this eventually we're going to reach a certain level of of notoriety or influence where they're going to try to clip our wings.

And the only way to navigate that, the only way where we can maintain the flagrancy and maintain our real estate in this market and what we're doing is if we have direct connection to you guys listening to the podcast. It has to be direct. So I hit up Akash. I'm like, Akash, we need to get an email list going right now. Akash sets up this email list. You can get the link for it on the Twitter, the Flagrant2 Army Twitter.

It's Flagrant2 Army or our Flagrant2 Instagram. It will be in both of the bios right there. We'll also both tweet it out and Instagram story it. But basically the only way to protect the relationship we have is if we have direct connection. Because at any point in time, Instagram could be like, bye, Schultz. Bye, Akash. Bye, Flare 2. At any point in time, Apple or one of these companies could say, oh, you can't do that podcast anymore.

You got to say such wild shit. We are at their mercy right now. And the only way that we can maintain the relationship and what we have going is if we have direct connection this is not for us can i say something else please go a thought that yeah it scared me the guy who was homeless eight months ago before we started it patreon could say immediately hate speech you're done you're done in a second de-platformed de-platformed because they've done to other people yeah and they're doing it to me for jokes think Think about that.

I don't do political shit on Instagram. If you look at my Instagram, it's only jokes. Yeah. I understand deplatforming the motherfucker because they're like truly trying to put a hateful candidate in office or a hateful agenda out there. I have jokes. Yeah. We're talking about deplatforming, not deplatforming, but a shadow ban because of comedy. Literally everything we're fighting against.

So the only way that we can protect ourselves from these things is set up these email lists. You guys give us your email. We're not trying to inundate you with fucking emails. The last thing we want to do is even send you emails. We just want to have a situation where we can connect with you guys. God forbid we get taken off. We can shoot an email to everybody and be like, yo, we just got taken off this. We started up another account.

Go listen to the podcast right here. We want to be able to connect with you if, God forbid, something fucked up happens and then immediately we can shift over. How powerful would that be if the entire asshole army could shift to another platform in a fucking day? That's some shit they can never take away from us.

That's leverage. That's the game. So do us a favor, do yourselves a favor if you want to continue this. Go connect to those email lists. Give us your email. Sign the fuck up so we have some protection in this very scary age where literally your entire platform could be taken away from you in a fucking heartbeat

because we have to maintain the level of flagrancy that we fuck with all the time or else it ain't fun for us. And the only way we can maintain that is knowing that they can't chop our heads off at any point in time. Simple as that. So go do that.

Okay, I think now we should have a conversation with another person that's been shadow banned. Another person that I find absolutely hilarious. Another person with insider information on this whole Jeffrey Epstein thing. We're going to call my man Tim Dillon. I'm going to pass his phone over to Ed. His number is, you see that on the call log right there. And we're going to have Tim explain to us exactly what the fuck is going on with this epstein quote unquote suicide i i i think this is the first time in history where universally people are starting to subscribe to a conspiracy theory as a real entity. Universally.

Where the conspiracy makes more sense than the story. Conspiracy is mainstream. Yes, so is it even a conspiracy? That's a good point. Yo, Tim! Well,

looks like the CIA has gotten gotten involved shut us down immediately there it is hold on let's see we got we got you tim yeah yeah sorry buddy it's all good guys everybody this is tim dylan you tim dylan hilarious comic amazing uh podcast tim dylan now is it the Tim Dillon Show or is it Tim Dillon Goes to Hell Show? Tim Dillon Show. Okay. Tim Dillon Show. You've changed the name. Yeah.

Hilarious podcast. Tim has had quite the week because you've been somebody that's been very vocal about the Clintons' involvement in fucking underage girls. Well, yeah. I mean, I'm, I'm a conspiracy guy. I, uh, I, I'm, I'm plugged in probably to an unhealthy degree to what's going on, but, uh, you know, Saturday morning, I think was my, you know, Christmas when, uh, Santa Claus, uh, who looked a lot like Hillary Clinton, came down the chimney. And the chimney was the air vent of a jail cell in the Metropolitan Detention Center in Lower Manhattan. And she came in and had the milk and cookies and then strung that motherfucker up and killed.

No, it's a story that i've been following for a very long time and you you say to yourself when a guy like this gets caught you go there's no way they're gonna let this go to trial they gotta kill him right and then he gets killed and then you know you're like this is it i'm right you know i've been proven right now give us some backstory on Epstein and this whole situation because I think people are still trying to wrap their heads around what this is why

people want him dead yeah I for one know next to nothing about the whole Epstein thing so yeah Akash is a perfect example I think of a lot of people out there that truly just don't know much about the story they're just like, okay, a guy who was a pedophile and then he got killed. Pedophilia is white people shit.

This is white shit, you know? Let's get real. In his culture, they call it marriage. Yeah, right. In your culture, this is not even a big deal. You don't have to go to an island. You just go right to church or the temple or whatever. You can't be free at a nation like this.

Yeah. God bless you. That's all Epstein was trying to do was free the Bahamas. That's all he wanted to do. Jeffrey Epstein is a very wealthy guy. He is a resident of Manhattan.

He acquired his money in a very interesting, shady way. Basically, this guy that owned Victoria's Secret. Les Wexner. He's the owner of Victoria's Secret. Gave Jeffrey Epstein a lot of his money to manage because he said, you know, him and Epstein met. He seemed to like Epstein and he gave him a lot of money including a townhouse in New York City worth about 70 million dollars that Epstein lived that lived in okay a little suspicious right a little bit you think

yeah I mean listen this has got to be a real good friend to be giving somebody a $70 million TANF. So immediately you think, like, what are those two guys bonding on, right? Like, what are they both into? Sports? Probably not. So he meets Epstein. They start to make a lot of money. Epstein also has this island in the Virgin Islands called Little St. James, which is, he owns

a private island where he has a mansion, a pool, a temple on the island, or a building that looks like a temple. And, you know, Jeffrey Epstein invited people to this island. He was a socialite. He threw lavish parties.

And at these parties, he had underage girls performing sexual acts on wealthy, prime ministers. These were all in Jeffrey Epstein's orbit. And Jeffrey Epstein met all of those people because he had a friend named Ghislaine Maxwell. Ghislaine Maxwell is a UK socialite whose father was a media mogul. He owned newspapers like Rupert Murdoch. He was the Rupert Murdoch of the UK before Rupert Murdoch he was the rupert murdoch of the uk before rupert murdoch

correct so he owns and he was also an asset of israeli intelligence widely believed there's books written about this seymour hirsch who's a great journalist wrote a book right where they say you know robert maxwell is an asset of the massage so for people that don't understand what that is basically when you have a spy agency like the Mossad or the CIA, they need people to help them. These people don't necessarily work at the CIA, but they are useful for the CIA. They can provide the Mossad with information. They can put information in their newspapers that the Mossad might think is beneficial for Israel or whatever. So they usually like to have powerful people as their

assets, as people that they can use as a way to disseminate information or collect information, because that's what these agencies basically do. So his daughter... Now, how would an agency get powerful people like that to do their bidding? Well, great question. And how they do that in many cases is they compromise or blackmail those people. So that's what agents do. A spy, the job of a spy is to get information. what agents do a spy the job of a spy is to get information and the the job of uh uh a spy that's in the field let's say you're you're a field agent you're out there you're trying to recruit

people to give you information you have to have leverage over them otherwise why would they give you information right so one of the one of the ways that they've been doing that is sexual blackmail, setting you up in what's often called like a honeypot. Right. That's what the Russians use. Yes. Maybe you're cheating on your wife. Maybe you're cheating on your wife with a prostitute who's a male or transgender or underage. Whatever the case is, they allow these things to happen they organize

these um things and then they get um you know recording equipment video equipment and you know jeffrey epstein in his house in manhattan they found two-way mirrors recording equipment video equipment probably probably all coincidence right probably all coincidence that he was gifted yeah he gifted a 70 million dollar townhouse that just happened to have cia level recording equipment probably coincidence but but uh okay so so basically if and listen if you are having sex with somebody who's underage and there's proof of that you are now owned you're owned so the reality is you give whatever information that is that is required of you you do what you do the bidding of whoever has that information whoever has that tape

now tim owns you now tim being owned isn't all bad because sometimes being owned allows you to rise to power because you have the backing of these very powerful owners, right? Because they know

you'll do what they want. And these, exactly like Akash said, why would you let somebody get power and influence if you didn't control them? Right.

And this has been going on them. Right. And I, and this has been going on forever. And by the way, this wasn't used the CIA and the Mossad and MI6, all these intelligence agencies, they actually didn't pioneer this technique. It was pioneered by the mafia. Right.

So organized crime has been doing this stuff for a lot longer, probably than, than the CIA. Well, you know, so the reality is a lot of the stuff that intelligence agencies do is borrowed from the mob. Right.

Because it's an effective form of blackmail and who wants to be exposed. And especially when the cost of not being exposed is quite low. Hey, do you want to be president one day? Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll help you do that and here's the other thing so the people are like people listening might be like well why does the cia care why does the cia go into all these trouble to to get information is that the other thing

um here's one of the reasons the cia is not only an organization that is you you know, spying on other countries to make sure that they're not trying to do us harm. Okay. The CIA for a very long time has been in bed with big money, major corporations. They want certain political realities. Okay. Right. And if you're a billionaire, political realities. Okay. Right. And if you're a billionaire, you are not going to trust that the Congress or the Senate is going to necessarily do the right thing by you. And if they do the wrong thing by you, they're going to lose you billions of dollars, which is no good. So what you do is you try to basically fix the game as much as you can. You try to buy all the politicians you can by donating to their campaign. And when that fails, organizations like the CIA help you control those people to the degree that they can.

It's been going on for a very long time. that they can. It's been going on for a very long time, and that is why you have the Central Intelligence Agency, or the Mossad, or MI6, or French intelligence, whoever these people are, they are doing the bidding of very wealthy, powerful people, and that is why they're basically allowing some of this really heinous behavior to go on, like the abuse of underage women and men. So my understanding, and maybe this is a conspiracy theory, but do you guys remember when those pictures of Mike Pence when he was younger in a gay bar popped up? No. I've heard something about that. I didn't see them, but... And people were like,

oh, it was Photoshopped, it was Photoshopped, or whatever. Now, regardless if it's Photoshopped or not, there's a perfect example. When you're sitting there, you're like, how the fuck does a guy like Mike Pence end up becoming vice president of the United States of America?

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you. Right. Oh, did you show the picture? Yeah. So it's like, I'll tell you. Right. Oh, did you show the picture? Yeah. So it's like, I'll tell you how he gets that. It's, you have this wild card, Trump, that's running for president. So you need somebody close that can kind of have some,

you can have some doorway to Trump in some way. Well, I don't believe Mike Pence ever had no fucking six pack like that. Damn. You think Mike Pence had a body like that? Bro, he bikes, bro. He's on the bike. Yeah. I mean,

you look at, if you look at Bill Clinton, who was the governor of Arkansas, and then became the president, you're like, Arkansas is a state with, what, four million people?

So there's a perfect example, right, Tim? I was talking to my buddy, right? The first, when you talk to people who do not believe in conspiracies at all, the first thing they'll say about this Epstein thing is they'll beg, why would a billionaire or why would a super successful person, a billionaire, et cetera, go to this island and not assume that they were going to be honeypotted or trapped, right? or trapped, right? And I think that, and basically what I thought of is,

they're not, Epstein and them are not trapping the elite. They're trapping the governor. They are. Listen, the elite traps, the elite know it's never going to come out. Here's the thing. The elite know that they're potentially being trapped,

but it's mutually assured destruction, that everybody including epstein is is is trapped everybody has information that can get released so what happens nobody gets released right what i'm saying what i'm saying with a guy like with a guy like uh for example clinton and that kind of shit clinton is going there before he's the president, right? No, he's going there as an ex-president. No, no, no, no, no. Listen, they are, all of these guys are being black. They could have information on Trump.

It is very possible Trump, there's some information that somebody has on Trump. Listen, all of these guys, but here's the deal. The information never comes out as long as everybody plays along. Why? Because they run the world. Jeffrey Epstein's dead. So it doesn't matter. It's like there is no justice.

There is no day in court. There is no comeuppance. None of it. So yeah, these people know. By the way, some of them don't know that they're being, but they're not, they probably aren't shocked to know that there's recordings and videos of the things they've done. But they know as long as they keep doing what they're doing, that information is never going to. So if you're somebody who's going to fuck an underage kid, you're going to expect that that's going to come with some hazards, right? So if you engage in any type of risky behavior, there are workplace hazards.

If you do drugs, you know that you could OD. If you drive fast, you crash. If you fuck kids on an island, you know somebody might find out you're doing it and hold it over your head. But you want to fuck the kids. You want to do the drugs. You want to drive the Ferrari. Successful people, a lot of them have very deviant sexual appetites and problems impulsive they might be like yeah i shouldn't

fuck this kid because i'm probably going to regret it but they're they act on impulse these people are on the spectrum of sociopaths in many cases and and what happens does it ever come out not really look how close it got this guy was in a maximum security prison in lower manhattan a few weeks away from his trial or months away from his trial and he was on suicide watch he took him off suicide watch they move a few hours before he dies they move his roommate out and they either allow him to commit suicide or kill him either one doesn't't really matter. But guess what? There is no fucking testimony. Nobody's getting, nobody's getting anything. So what happens? So what happens? What, what do you think happens next? Um, you know, I hate to be cynical, but, uh, be cynical,

you know, football starts. We all start to lose interest. The ball comes around, you know. I mean, no one's going to care. Jeffrey Epstein was the only person named in the indictment. They're not going to indict Ghislaine Maxwell. She's a British citizen. She's intelligent.

I mean, you've got to remember, this is not the first time Epstein was arrested. He was arrested for molesting a 14-year-old that was covered up. Alexander Acosta, who was the Secretary of Labor under Trump, who just stepped down, arranged a plea deal for Epstein, where Epstein served basically a year in a minimum security prison in Florida and was allowed to go home five days a week and probably look at child porn or whatever he was doing. He could go home to work, quote-unquote work home five days a week and probably look at child porn or whatever he was doing. He could go home to work, quote-unquote work, five days a week. This was the deal he got,

and he didn't have to inform on any of his co-conspirators. But then people at the Miami Herald, certain reporters, they started kicking up interest in the story. Some of the victims were like, listen, we were never informed of this agreement. We never would have went along with it. So he was rearrested. And then he was, you know, he could have informed on very powerful people.

We're talking about prime ministers of countries, ex-presidents, billionaires. These people can get any, and when they killed him or allowed him to kill himself, what they're really sending the message, they're saying this, we will never, ever, ever allow this information to get out. And here's why. Because if you realize that there's elements of the government that are depraved enough to allow the abuse of children to continue so that they can get information, then every single conspiracy theory immediately comes believable. Then you look at 9-11. Then you look at everything. Because you go,

if they're going to let us fuck kids on an island, what aren't they willing to do? Wow. Wow. So it's bigger than just this. It's bigger than... It's so much bigger than this, dude. It is the key that will unlock everything, and it will make people question everything,

and then everyone will go, wait a minute. If they're willing to do that, there's nothing they're not willing to do. We're all being lied to on a daily basis all the fucking time. Why are we at war in five, seven countries? Let's investigate all of these things. Boston bombing, who are these people? And who is running us? Who's ruling us?

And they don't want that to happen. And in order for that not to happen, they stack bodies. They got to stack bodies. The illusion of democracy and freedom goes away if this comes out. goes away if this comes out? I think this is the biggest deal of anything coming out because it's the most heinous thing you can imagine. Abuse of children to most people, even cynical people, even people that think politicians suck and they're all bought.

But the systemic, by the way, not random, the systemic abuse of children, torture of children, because that's what you're doing when you make somebody have sex over and over with somebody they don't want to. The fact that anyone would go, the fact that people that were presidents, the fact that people that were prime ministers would participate in that, or even at the very best, I mean, the very best case, know what's happening and do nothing,

that would shake us to the core. Do you think that Bill Clinton fucked those girls? I mean, do I think Bill Clinton's asking for ID? Probably not. And do I think that Bill Clinton, I mean, he's been credibly accused of rape. He's a sexual deviant. I mean, this is a guy that his entire career has been, you know, sidelined by complaints from women that he harassed them. And you've got to remember that Clinton's tried to destroy these women that told authorities about Bill, told the press

about Bill. Kathleen Willey, Jennifer Flatlake. The Clintons had an organized, dedicated campaign to destroy the lives of these women so that they were turned into national mockery that could never work again. I mean, these are not people that have any problem with destroying people. Who get in their way. You think the Clintons got some bodies?

Yeah, but I don't think it's the Clintons. I think the Clintons work for people. The Clintons are functional. The Bushes are functional. This is what really fucks people up that are into conspiracies. They don't really get there. The Clintons and the Bushes are the servants. They're the public face. The real people behind them,

billionaire families, the Bronxmen, the DuPonts, people that no one's ever fucking barely heard of, these are the people that pull the major strings. They decide if the Bushes and the Clintons have the resources to run in these races, these are the people that are really calling the shots. And the Bill and Hillary's, you know, George Bush and George H.W. Bush's son,

these are people that are, they're wealthy, but they're not nearly as wealthy. You got to remember, the Bushes are not as old money as some of the other families that they represent. The Bushes started making money in the early 1900s. We're talking about people that have been wealthy for centuries and centuries. Do they hide their money? Is there a reason we don't hear the DuPonts on the world's wealthiest list or whatever?

We hear Bill Gates. We hear Jeff Bezos. You would think they would be the ones pulling crazy strings. There's a lot of hidden money out there. There's a lot of families. I guess I'm asking to feed into

the conspiracy theory, are they basically hiding their money because they don't want that publicity? And saying like, look, I don't want to be one of the richest people.

I don't want to be known as that. I think you could find them. I think you could find them on a lot of those lists. I think there's a lot of intermarriage, so names might have been changed.

But, I mean, when you talk about conspiracy theories, none of that's conspiratorial. I mean, the idea that, like, they choose who runs the country is not really a conspiracy. I mean, go look at the donor lists of any of the major candidates who ever become president. They're all there. I mean, it's pretty unverifiable.

So who did Obama work for? Everyone. I mean, every single family I mentioned. I mean, Barack Obama was, you know, a great friend to Wall Street, a great friend to the military-industrial complex. We were in seven wars. We knocked over Libya. We were in Syria.

You know, Obama was torturing Chelsea Manning. He was prosecuting whistleblowers. He had the CIA running an illegal drone war, you know, dropping fucking bombs on Akash's family. I mean, this is really... I mean, Akash's

cousin is playing soccer and he looks up in the sky, he sees a flying death machine, you know, but no one cares because Obama went on Ellen and danced. They're actually my family's enemies, just so you know. Just want to point of clarification. That's it. I mean, that's... Listen, you're all the same to me, but I appreciate it. I'm a white guy from Long Island.

There's only so much I can understand. He believes in conspiracy, but not Indian and Pakistani differences. Yeah, I don't believe in differences in brown. believe in i don't believe in differences in browns bro it's just so crazy so you think nothing ends up happening we all forget about it and the world goes back to being run as it is dude i gotta be honest i'm already tired of talking about really well here's the thing you start to realize people that get into conspiracies in the beginning think it's like a hit show that has a series finale and that series finale is going to have all the things they want to happen that's really good so it's lost but what it really is it's they

think it's lost here's what it really is it's a soap opera that goes on for 20 years and you age out of watching give You give up. You don't care anymore. It's so good. You just go. You know, my grandmother used to watch General Hospital every single day, and then eventually she was like, oh, it's the same storyline over and over. It's a loop.

You've got to realize that the news is on loop right now. Have you ever gone to see a movie, and before the movie, all the ads play, and then they're on a loop? You know, you get back to the first ad, and then that's the news right now. It's like school shooting, celebrity does something culturally insensitive, Trump says something racist,

shooting in Walmart, back to a celebrity, back to some picture of horrible ICE potential. Like, the news for the last 24 months has been one big loop. Yeah. Even if we did find out, what could we actually do? That's my question. That's part of why I don't care. What are you going to do?

I mean, the people that designed this system, man, God. Like the guy, James Angleton, super spy, when when they started the CIA as he was on his deathbed Angleton had been in the rooms where all the guys had started the CIA National Security State and Angleton had a great quote he said listen if you were in that room when we started this thing he goes

you would be in a room with people you were surely convinced would end up in hell and then he took a drink of whiskey and he goes, and now I'm going to join them there shortly. They know. They know what they've been a party to. What are your thoughts on Kissinger? You know, Henry Kissinger is a war criminal. He's somebody who's, you know, I mean, you know, Kissinger, Vietnam, I mean, Cambodia.

I mean, Kissinger is a very well-connected, you know, master of the universe type of guy who, you know, has really no problem with genocide. Is he the architect of the modern world? I think Alan Dulles is the architect of the modern world. If I dallas is the architect of the modern world if i had to put it on one one guy i'd say alan dallas really alan dallas yeah alan dallas was a guy who made the ci and i usually don't subscribe to the what they call the great man theory of history meaning we put it all on one guy right but. But I would say that Alan Dulles was an incredibly effective operator. He was the first head of the Central Intelligence Agency. He determined what that agency was going to be.

He determined the power and the scope of it. And Eisenhower warned. Eisenhower warned about the military-industrial complex. Eisenhower warned about the CIA. complex Eisenhower warned about the CIA we just had World War II we just fought Nazis Eisenhower was like we shouldn't be doing this Kennedy warned about it

in that big secret society speech Kennedy ended up dead and Alan Dulles to me is a guy that really designed that agency to be a secret government not only just a spy agency but an effective that really designed that agency to be a secret government, not only just a spy agency,

but an effective double government operating against the interests and the will of the American people, and it's been doing that for a very long time. Against the will because it feeds the billionaires, basically, or it helps the billionaires? Yeah, I mean mean i don't think anybody has an interest uh in a lot of what they do i mean this is to help a very small

segment of the population that own defense contract you know defense contractors arms dealers the average person doesn't want to be at war in afghanistan or doesn't benefit no yeah anyway the average person gets on a plane that ends up being flown into a building. You know, the average person is a victim of these crimes to an extent. Right, right. I mean, the average person can't afford health care, can't put their kids through school because we've, you know, waged all these wars on a credit card and we've saddled the average person with an insane amount of debt, but very wealthy, well-connected people are doing great.

How do we, how do we stop it, bro? How do we fight the system, Tim? I mean, so this is when it gets a little bleak. We're both shadow.

What are we, what are we going to do if we can't populate on the explore page? By the way, you think you shot a band? Wait till this podcast comes out. You'll be, you know, um,

here's the reality. The only thing that would stop this, I truly believe is some type of massive event that wakes people up. And then the good people in these agencies, like the good people, the CIA, the FBI, because there the good people in these agencies like the good people the cia the fbi because there are good people in those agencies will have to wrest control from the dark forces from the bad people right and i mean that's a question of human nature like what would inspire that man you're talking that's philosophical and that's a hard question to answer. But it would have to be some massive shift in consciousness.

Well, let's hope this podcast is the catalyst for that, Tim. I think so. I mean, I'm confident. I think we could change the world. Tim, I love you. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule it's no thank you guys give us your socials give us everything one more time so they could go follow up tim j dillon d-i-l-l-o-n on instagram and twitter uh tim dillon show on youtube if you

want to subscribe we're also on apple podcast we're everywhere wherever you get your podcast we're out every week full force it's a very funny show and every now and then we talk about uh you know some conspiracies go check out tim's instagram he's got some hilarious videos that he does these rants i mean right when the jeffrey epstein thing first hit tim dressed up as a school girl and twerked outside of jeffrey epstein's Manhattan mansion. I don't know how you didn't get arrested for that shit. And here's the deal.

That's probably why he killed himself. All right, buddy. I love you, man. All right. Love you, too. Later, buddy. Peace. Wild shit.

It's wild. It's wild it's wild I don't I don't get too invested because like I said I don't part of me doesn't want to believe it because even if it's true what can we do I think that you have a good perspective on that in that regard because it's like it's like scary to admit

that sometimes but if like the problem is so massive and there's nothing that you can do about it, does it really help to just worry about it? Yeah, and I think the idea that your vote matters, that's real cute, but it don't. So why invest? My girl cares about politics. She fucking cares. I'm like, yo, this makes no difference. These are sociopaths.

They're going to do what they want. I don't know that I get nearly as deep down the rabbit hole as people but like yeah there's definitely some ill shit going on and you're not gonna stop it right turn off cnn put on sports center it's fun it is fun at least i enjoy the distraction yeah give yourself some joy turn on flagrant 2 listen to some offensive jokes yes just tune out i did i barely knew anything about Epstein. Anything. Yeah. And even little shit he was saying, I was writing down,

I was going to read it, and then as I was writing, I was like, what's the end of me learning about Alan Dulles? Yeah. I'm going to become like fucking Tim, torturing myself? This guy's not happy?

He can't even button his polos. Yeah, man. It is interesting, him saying that you just kind of grow out of the conspiracies that was a fucking great way to put it yeah soap opera it is that it's like maybe it is it's just a thing that people are bored they need someone to distract themselves with and it's like okay i'll do this conspiracy theory and then you know maybe when your career starts to you know pop off maybe you know tim's killing it right now. Maybe he's going to start leaving the conspiracy stuff. He's another Rogan Bump guy, right?

Yeah, dude. He did Rogan and just fucking— He's always so fucking funny, Tim, man. Yeah, dude. He's great. No, he's fucking great. But listen, we've gone a long time without even discussing sports, guys. What are we at time-wise?

Because we start almost two. One-thirty something. Oh, that's it? No. No. If anything, more so like almost two hours. We're basically at almost two hours no see how those are very different see how you those you gave me a 30 minute count obviously window of i'm too caught up in the deviation talking in the mic dog you haven't earned grabbing the mic yet son that's alex grabbing the mic wow. Son, that's Alex grabbing the mic. Wow, son.

We are being harsh on you. You gotta come back or else I'm not gonna feel... It's been a whole week of it. What do you mean? What did I miss? Oh, you missed us being here? Of course. Damn, son. Oh, he got you. Damn, son. We gotta teach Edwin how to snap back. I know.

What's your go-to technique when it comes to snapping back? I don't know. I think you just got to rapid fire. So whatever comes, you just go right at him. Just go. Don't overthink it. Just go.

All right. You got to not overthink. You just go. Okay? We're going to practice. Ready? Listen, you can't lose here. It's just not overthink.

Just go. Ready? You're fat. I'm what? Oh, my God. I can't hear you. You you talking with my dick in your mouth. Oh! Oh shit!

That was good! That's a bronze response. That was good. That's hilarious that out of the two of us, I'm the one that has something in their mouth. Obviously not Akash. He's starving his ass off. Oh! That shirt don't fit me, but it definitely don't fit you, bro. Let's go!

And it coming with the heat! That's all I got. And it came with the heat, bro! Oh, shit. Goddamn, man. We're proud of you. That was good, man. Anyway.

Now we instilled some confidence in this Beyonce-bodied... Beehive-bodied... Disrespect Beyonce like that. No. I meant beehive. I said Beyonce. Yeah. All right.

What else we got? Antonio Brown, dog. Son. Antonio motherfucking Brown. This guy's wildin'. He really is wildin', bro. Pre-Madonna wide receivers are not worth it. All right, put me up on this because I didn't hear it.

So Antonio Brown uses a helmet called the Shut Air Advantage. It's over 10 years old, and there was some rule passed in the league last year that said we have to use helmets that are approved by some committee. It's probably a bullshit committee, but you have to use helmets that are approved by some committee it's probably a bullshit committee but you have to use helmets that are approved by them this helmet is too old to be approved by them it's not going to meet with their standards they let him play him or tom brady maybe both play on outdated models last year this year they have to switch and antonio brown now has backtracked but he was saying i will retire if you don't let me wear this helmet.

And then he tried to appeal. The appeal got denied. And then he had a tweet like, hey, guys, it's, you know, I'm going to be there at camp. This is a sad ruling, but whatever. But it's like, yo, we don't even fucking need this, man. Just shut up. Like, are you on your period? You making a big deal about nothing right now.

Just let this breathe. So what do you think this is about? Why do you think he's become such a diva? Does he feel scorned? Where is this all of a sudden we're seeing this side of Antonio Brown

that we never saw in Pittsburgh? No, you saw it in Pittsburgh starting a few years ago. Once he got really good, you started to see it. That's the reason he got shipped out of Pittsburgh.

They gave him up for like a third round pick and a fifth round pick. I thought that you just saw it this last year or two. Yeah, maybe last year or two. I think three years ago he got in trouble for fucking

Instagram live in the locker room after a win or something like that. Is that that crazy? It's just like, yo, don't let anybody know our business. You don't need to know what I'm saying. He got in trouble for that. It was always a lot of attention seeking. Fair enough. I don't know why though. You don't need to know what I'm saying. Fair enough. He got in trouble for that. And there's always a lot of attention seeking. Fair enough. I don't know why, though.

Guy got great teeth. Let those speak for you. He does have exceptional teeth. Fucking incredible. And he is an exceptional athlete. Without a doubt, you could say. He was like a fifth or sixth round draft pick. So he was not.

Oh. I think once he got a taste of the attention, he wanted it. And then I don't know if he's a chip on his shoulder guy. I think once he got a taste of the attention, he wanted it. And then I don't know if he's a chip on his shoulder guy, but like he is a, he's not supposed to be this good. You know what I mean? He wasn't highly touted. He's not tall.

He's not a complete physical freak, but like he's an NFL player. So he is, but not relative to the rest of them. Right. Randy Moss, I get. So not knowing too much about the story, he comes across as just a dumber version of Cap. He's like, oh, the NFL's trying to make me do something. I'm going to take the stand. And he was hoping people got behind him. And he probably just got roasted.

Like, why the fuck are you taking this big ass stand for this stupid ass helmet? And he just backtracked super quickly. I don't know if he thought people would be on his side. Maybe he did. But I mean, players can get really attached to their helmet for whatever. I mean, you can get really attached to their helmet for whatever. I mean, you're doing something at the highest level.

Like, if you're doing a special and they give you a mic without a cord, you might be like, yo. No, I want the cord. Yeah. Exactly. But he definitely changed his helmet when he changed teams. Same model, though. Yeah, he's not talking about he wants to wear the Steelers helmet.

No, no, I know that. I'm saying I thought they – I thought it was like his lucky helmet. They just repainted it. No, no. They got different helmets, dog., I thought they, I thought it was like his lucky helmet. They just repainted it or something. No, no, but they got different helmets, dog. They don't trade you and the helmet. Son, why is he so attached to his photo? Hey, you're going to the Raiders. Take your shoulder pads.

I thought I'd never say this. Eddie, can you take the microphone from Alex and then just say anything into it? That'd be great. His lucky helmet? He's got one helmet for the whole thing. This is not Rudy son of a fuck he's so attached to it

he's so stupid that's such a stupid thing to be attached to I don't know it fits a certain way it breathes your head breathes a certain way

who knows but like I was saying to Andrew if they try to hand you a cordless mic at a show you're like whoa what the fuck is this

I don't like this thing I don't do cordless it feels different it's not what I'm used to I don't do cordless. It feels different. It's not what I'm used to. I don't do cordless, bro. Alright. What happened in Toronto? What happened in Montreal when you went in front of 15,000

people? A bomb. It was the cord. Should've had a cord on that shit. Did we even talk about that? No, no, no. The standing O's at this gala shit. Oh, you left this part out. No, no, no. The standing O is at this gala shit. Oh, you left this part out. No, no, no. Son, this shit was funny, bro.

I did these guys named Preach and Abba, guys who were funny guys from Montreal. They did this massive show at JFL. 15,000 people outside. I mean, it was insane. Sea of people. They didn't say that there were going to be families there. Son, this was the funniest moment for me. Like out there, this was the best part.

So I went up and I started out with like a joke that was, I knew that with that many people, it had to be slow and obvious kind of punchline and like time in between, couldn't be ranty. You know, it was just like bumping up them. So I started out with that joke I used to do about the girls shave their legs armpits whatever must that laugh boom yeah the next joke i go into the sharing the bags already laughing yeah next joke i go into sharing a bed with a dude funny joke funny joke but it's just straight cursing and talking about whatever like that. Apparently, families are just walking away with their kids.

Yeah. Like their kids are there and they're just – The moms. They were just so upset. Can I say something in Chelsea's defense though? Do not bring your child to the comedy show. Yeah, but I think it was supposed to be like a family-friendly show. Why'd they book you?

That's what I said. That's what I'm saying. That's what I said. That's on y'all. Y'all know what I do. Y'all know what I do. You're not booking Andrew Dice Clay to watch your kids. That's it. So all I was doing was looking at the band

on stage because there was like a fucking 10 piece band. As long as they were laughing I was like I'm killing it. Band was laughing. Front end people laughing. It was 15,000 people. You don't need to be making be you should have gone straight Barney Mac Oh, I ain't afraid of you motherfuckers It was someone they told me that people just walking away with their families, bro

They got their kids fucking covering their ears and walking them away, bro. I mean... Yo, Canada's soft, dog. I mean, I'd have walked away with my kids too, but also they soft. Yeah. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? They would have done the same shit, but yeah, fuck them. Oh, but fuck them. Oh, dude, it was funny though. Son, I'm so pissed off about this one thing. So they announced the Ruiz versus Anthony Joshua rematch. Yeah.

And it's in fucking Saudi Arabia. This is Anthony Joshua, I bet, doing this. It's a business move. Make yourself more international. No, it's not. Nobody cares about the Saudi Arabian market. This is Saudi Arabia throwing crazy money at Eddie Hearn, whoever's promoting the event,

because they've realized after having the WWE that these events in Saudi Arabia normalize the Saudi Arabians. Ah, okay. This is all a marketing tool. I take back what I said. That's great. It's a good idea.

Right? But the shitty thing is, it's a really cool fight, an anticipated fight. Who the fuck wants to vacation for a weekend in Saudi Arabia? Like, Muslims don't even want to do that shit. Maybe you just want to get away from your girl.

You know what I mean? Go to a place where she's not welcome. Son. Have you ever seen an she's not welcome. Son. Have you ever seen an Instagram thought? They don't go to Saudi Arabia. They go to Dubai. Oh, that's the same shit. So here's the difference, right?

Think about how awful this fight's going to be. Let's say you do want to go. Guess what's not going to be allowed to be served at the fight? Oh, alcohol. Guess what you're not going to find anywhere? Alcohol. You're not going to party. Ain't no partying.

Ain't nothing in Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia's whack. But they put their oil, their oil, whatever it is, business, on the public market. So now they have to appease the public. They have to seem like good guys. That's why they started letting these bitches drive.

That's why they're trying to act like they're cool with women. That's why they got movie theaters all of a sudden. They just got movie theaters. They just got movie theaters. So now they're doing these public events. It's all a hustle to make it look like, hey, look how fucking cool and fun Saudi Arabia is, right? We're just like, you invest

in our oil business. But now we lose as fucking viewers. Like, that's a fight I would want to go to. If that was in Vegas, I'm there. I'm there if that's in Vegas. Didn't you say you thought it was going to be Tijuana? Or I was talking to the Estadio Azteca. No, but you thought it was going to be a not close fight.

You thought Ruiz was going to handle it. I think he's going to handle it. Now, here's the other thing. Anything goes in Saudi Arabia. Whoever's promoting that fight, which is probably Joshua's people, are paying off those judges. And if it goes to the cards. Oh, fuck.

Ain't no rules out there. Yeah. They don't let these bitches drive. You think the judges are going to be honorable? Fuck no. It depends on the fight, who dictates the rules. I thought that Nevada... They say that, but if I'm the people,

the promoter chooses the judges. You got a baby bladder? Yeah. Go, go, go. I can tell. This motherfucker's waddling in his seat, son. A whole fucking... What's his name in a movie?

Waddling. Bruh. So that's what I'm saying. It's like, on some level, you got to be pissed as a fan because you can't even take part in this fucking fight. How much different is Saudi Arabia from Dubai, though? Like, I really think all that place is the same. Dubai is fake. Dubai is a fake Muslim country in a lot of ways. Oh, word.

So what they've done is created rules about the city because they want tourism. And they recognize ain't nobody want to go on vacation where they can't drink. So what they go is you can drink if you're in a hotel because that's international property. So all the partying, all the shit pops off on the telly, right? And they have these nice extravagant hotels on some Vegas type shit. I haven't been there,

but I'm assuming that they have bars, restaurants, whatever. So you enjoy the fuck out of your time. You could be Western. You're out there trying to get bitches. But they still make the women cover up. They're women. If you're not Emirati, it's in the Emirates. If you're not Emirati,

if you're not Emirati, you don't got to. Son of an Instagram bitch can't wait to put on the fucking the headscarf when they go over there. Yeah, to show you they there. Yeah, but I thought that because they're forced to. No, they just want to show you that they're there. You don't got to cover up

if you don't want. You can if you want to like respect their shit, but it's not necessary. Now, when you're in Saudi Arabia, wrap it up, bitch. Wrap it up. Are they sending,

are they like paying for Instagram thoughts in Saudi Arabia or they don't do that shit? No, they leave Saudi Arabia to fuck the girls in Beverly Hills

and do that kind of shit. It's those Saudi princes that are the ones they get shit on a glass table. They got all these thoughts meeting them in Dubai, this other kind of stuff, but you're not doing it there. those are the ones like in London with like a glass table they got all these thoughts meeting them in dubai this other kind of stuff but you're not doing it there ones like in london with like the golden bettley yes they leave out of i got you they leave saudi yeah they go to london floss

on all the motherfuckers in london just shit all over them and they be shitting on them and then in england they let them do it i would cut that that shit out. I'm like, yo, you could come. Don't come in a fucking gold Bugatti and just drive around like we ain't shit. They sold them all their most valuable property and stuff like that too.

So that shit taps into my inner negative. That's a part of me that's like, yo, that shit is fly as fuck. Hey, let me tell y'all something. We ain't going to let that shit happen in New York, B.

Don't come to New York with your fucking purple Bentley or your fucking gold Ferrari and act like you're going to drive around the street and just stunt. You think anything, Rob? Something happening. Something happening. We're're gonna put some plantains In your fucking gas pipe You don't really see that here Say what?

You don't really see that here You're right about that But they do come here though Yeah Cause I remember when I was out In the club scene You'd have No they come to the clubs

They'll floss in the clubs Yeah we'll call it that But you're not gonna stunt On the street On the street Like hey chill out fam It's like Chill out fam

There's mad regular folks out there. Chill out, fam. The club is the club people pay to get in. Yeah. Shit might pop off. I saw the- Penn Station, you ain't pulling up no fucking- I ain't doing shit.

Around those goddamn goblins. Nah, son. Penn Station, how about the fucking escalator? We getting you. We getting you. Zombies walking around there? I saw the funniest shit, son. You know how there's this big thing going on in Hong Kong?

There's some controversy or some shit? Like they don't like what China's doing to them? Okay. I was gonna say, this is another article from Home All Week. No.

That shit is so funny. Are they saving fucking monkeys and stuff? So Hong Kong don't like what they're doing. Like what China's doing. So they've been doing all these protests for like a minute, right?

Okay. And there was a protest. Somebody posted a video on Twitter today, and it was a few Chinese people. They cover their face so they don't do, the Chinese government can't do the facial recognition surgery. But a few people from Hong Kong, right?

They got the American flags wrapped around them, and they got microphones, and they're singing our national anthem. Right? Okay. Trying to show like, yo, we want democracy like America. Right? And I press play, and I'm hearing a video.

All say, can you see? Why did all the li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li- That motherfucker sound like Scooby Doo. I was crying. This is it, son. Is there a way to play it? No, no. Don't do it from here. Do it from Twitter, B. Will we get marked if we do it from Twitter?

You might. You never know. Don't let us not even take the gym. It's worth it, bro. Go to Twitter. Go to Twitter. Can you play the audio? Find the shit on Twitter, son.

You can play the audio, but not the video on the screen. What if we talk over it? And then we talk over it a little bit. But find play the audio? Find the shit on Twitter, son. You can play the audio, but not the video on the screen. What if we talk over it? And then we talk over it a little bit, but find the fucking audio, Akash. You want to get up? I'm so glad that I'm not being warned. I'm so glad that this dream is real. And the road's at a glass. It's like a birthday party. It's like a game of cards. Oh, my God. Okay, he hit the hit.

He's been practicing. He's been watching Whitney. Let's hear it. I'll anthem slap. First of all, obviously the best anthem. Second of all, hand to your own business.

I'm tired when we got wars and shit, motherfuckers be like, oh no, we're busy making toys, you know, whatever the fuck they do, sewing North faces together and shit. And then when you need a little fucking help, you start singing a natural anthem, throwing a flag around your shoulders. Freshly

stitched flag. I mean, they probably stitched them up. Hell yeah, you got that shit from your niece. How hard do you think they had to work on the L's and R's? My man kind of killed that. I think he might be a ringer. Right? He said

gallantly, well. Son, he said ramparts. I could barely say that. When the ramparts... Son, I don't know what a rampart is, bro. And here do I, really. What is a rampart? I don't know what a rampart is, bro. He must have been... And here do I, really. What is a rampart? I don't know what a lot of them words mean, to be honest. What's the...

Donderly? I don't know what Donderly is. That's it. I know that shit is the light. I thought Donderly plays for the Giants. Ain't Donderly? No, he is. Ain't Jatavius Donderly?

Don't he play for the Giants? What are you looking up at? Stop looking shit up. Nobody more distracted than you looking shit up. Looking for Groupons for Burger King. So fuck off. I paid full price for my patent. It took you that long to pull up the fucking National Anthem lyrics?

Hold on. Why Leigh-Anne Rimes though? Nah, nah. We not listening to Leigh-Anne Rimes version of that. Why the Dawn's Early Light? You thought it was the Dawn's Early? Get out of here, though. Nah, nah. We not listening to Leigh-Anne Rhymes' version of that. Why the dawn's early light? You thought it was the dawn early? I don't know. Get out of here, bro.

Bombs bursting in the air. Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wave. O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave. Son, that shit goes, bro. Come on. Our shit slaps. Yo, yo, yo, yo, Al.

You the best singer. Let that rip, son. Let that yo, Al. You the best singer. Let that rip. Let that rip, Al. Let's see. Let that rip, Al. Stand up. Put your hand over your chest. Yeah.

Oh, say can you see By the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed At the twilight's last gleaming Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight On the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly streaming

And the rockets' red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof through the night That our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave Take a deep breath, son. Take a deep breath. O'er the land of the free

Get up there! Get up there! Ah! And the home of the brave Let's fucking go let's go we gotta close it out son that's it y'all wanna fuck with us

holler at us on flagrant to patreon this week we gonna watch Eddie Murphy's latest yo patreon are bad for that man Eddie Murphy's latest. Yo, Patreon, our bad for that, man. We were drunk. We tried our best, bro. We were trying to give y'all all the content.

We did try our best. We know that y'all hated it. That's our bad. We're going to make it up to you, though, this Friday. We're going to stand and deliver, we promise. But our bad, man. We really tried our best. We tried our best, bro. We was a little drunk. We're going to stand and deliver, we promise, but our bad, man. We really tried our best. We tried our best, bro.

We was a little drunk. I didn't think it was bad! Yo, it was trash. Yo, we tried our best, bro. People don't realize the amount of content we had to put out that week so that I could go away on vacation, man. It was stressful, man, but we tried our fucking best, man.

We love y'all, Patreon. Everybody get on board. Yo, Akash, anything else before we get out of here or what? You tell me. The WNBA fight. Kevin Durant let the Warriors off the hook. Dak apparently wants $40 million a year. Draymond extension. And then nobody wants to play for Team USA.

These are the things that I had. Man, I think we might have to... Patreon! I think we might have to continue on the patreon and just lock this down yo if y'all got the new york times go check it out they mentioned your boy in an article by the way oh yeah you were supposed to get to that yo man it was pretty cool man i'll just throw it out there real quick but it was pretty cool man it was an article they were talking about uh Pretty cool, man. It was an article they were talking about, you know, is Netflix the future of a stand-up? And, you know, the headline of the article, I'll read the headline of the article real quick.

Oh, shit. It goes, can Netflix, the king of stand-up specials, be dethroned? And then go back up, go back up, go back up. And then it says the byline is Amazon is trying, starting with a new Jim Gaffigan set. So is HBO, though it's more niche with acts like Julio Torres. And don't count out YouTube. If you go to the end of the article, got to show that full article. Keep going, keep going, keep going. They got the link to views from assists.

Go up. Go up a little bit. Go up. It says, The savvy comic Andrew Schultz has built up a fan base outside the traditional media by putting himself in opposition to a politically correct entertainment. Shout out to the flagrant two. But also dispensing with old hour-long show and releasing his content in multitude of bite-sized forms.

Appearing on the Joe Rogan podcast. He predicted Netflix's downfall, pointing out that the streamer doesn't own many of its most popular shows like The Office or Friends. Rogan seems skeptical but shows the suggestion that the future might not be bright for the Zeitgeist Defining Company has moved from the margins and become common speculation among industry types last month when netflix tweeted it was sorry that friends would leave its service in 2020 the comic retweeted with a pointed message tiktok now mic drop what i loved about this was two things one obviously it's cool to show your parents that you're in the new york times especially as a new yorker right that's the epitome of making anybody first thing i did show your parents right it's cool to show your parents that you're in the New York Times, especially as a New Yorker. Right. That's the epitome of making it in a way. First thing I did.

Show your parents, right? Because this is what we did, right? This is the other thing I thought was so fucking cool. Everybody listening to this has been supportive of what we've been doing. You should feel good about this. The way in which we're mentioned in the article, right? The article talks about what Amazon is doing with Jim Gaffigan,

what HBO is doing with Julio Torres, and what Andrew Schultz is doing with Bite Size Content. So we're not spoken about as just comics. We're spoken about as the comics we're spoken about as the hbo and the amazon that's the subtle shit that to me i was so proud of it's like look what is hbo doing they're doing this type of special what is amazon doing they're trying with jim gaffigan what is andrew schultz doing he's using social media youtube this that the other to get the content out

and I just thought that was so fucking cool and I think it's really subtle and I doubt most people got it but I think it's something Alex you and I should be so proud of

everybody's son it's just like and they didn't contact me to write the article they just put it out there I found out about it

my agent hit me wow so it was one of those things and i think people try to like pit me against netflix because i predicted this this like down thing with them and like here's the thing i don't have any stake in any of it like i put my content on instagram i put my content on twitter i put my content on youtube i'll put my content on netflix there's no enemies in business. You put it out

because they weren't fucking with you but that ended up being good for you so why would you begrudge them? Yeah, like,

to be petty, like, that's what, who does that? Like, that's what children do. You know what I mean? There's nothing about that,

you know? So, for me, it's just, where are the eyeballs? Who's watching? And I want to put my content out because I believe

if they see the content, they're going to come fuck with us but it is so fucking cool that you aren't opposed to you're opposed to PC culture and ruin comedy

and that's what you're in opposition with that's a great way of saying it exactly that's what we've been doing the whole time we love real comedy and we're going to put out

real comedy and I think that we've affected the game enough where comics are feeling more safe putting out real comedy Yeah, I truly believe that that was our effect on the ecosystem and So so now we're in this fucking position, which I think is so sick

We're like we get mentioned in an article like that like we get mentioned in What are the new things happening in comedy? What is HBO doing? What is Amazon doing? What are we doing? Like, how fucking sick is that? Yeah. It's fucking crazy. Like, it's just so fucking cool, man. It's also cool even if you don't.

Two of us. Three of us. Right? Like, I mean, shout to Mark. Mark is involved now. You know, so it's like, we're being put up against these companies so and it's like and i was telling you guys this earlier but like i haven't you know i spoke to youtube and i was

even like yo netflix amazon hbo spent millions of dollars akash corrected me he goes netflix spends hundreds of millions of dollars to be mentioned in that conversation. To be mentioned and known as legitimate places for stand-up specials. And I spoke to my people at YouTube and I was like, I just want to let you all know. You've spent whatever it costs to host my videos to be mentioned alongside these companies. That's the greatest bargain in history. That's the greatest. I legitimize your platform for stand-up.

We're doing great fucking work. If there isn't, I don't know another David versus Goliath story out there, but we're talking about a few of us going up against the biggest, we're talking billion dollar companies. We're just going up against billion

dollar companies and then we're starting to be mentioned in the same breath. And not only that, these companies, when Netflix has a special come out, where do they put their videos out to promote the special? On YouTube. It's just crazy.

Anyway, so I think it's something that everyone listening, you know, you guys should be proud of because remember our win is your win because without you guys sharing these videos and watching these videos they don't even fucking exist out there so this is this is just crazy

you know what I mean like I mean look it's there's a video like Alex is hype right now but like your thumbnail is on the New York times. Like this is crazy. Like anyway, we're very proud.

Y'all should be fucking proud because we're doing things that I don't think anybody in this business could conceive happening. Like it's just fucking nuts. And I can't wait to the next step. We're very close to announcing the next step where i'm very excited to share with you guys but we're about to change the game once again so i think in the next few weeks we'll be able to give you guys details maybe show you guys some pictures of what's about to happen and um i'm very excited about it very excited about it

akash anything else um we'll do well no, no. Just anything we want to talk about. No, there goes Bash FaceTime audio on me. This motherfucker don't leave me alone, dog. I'm playing Bash, man. It's very helpful. I'm fucking with you. Actually, shouts to Bash. Shouts to the patrons, all that.

Stories-wise, we're good. Tours kicking off soon. I got a show this Thursday. We'll do dates with ads. Oh, dates with ads. Perfect. Anything else? Yeah, I think that's good, man.

Guys, that's been another episode of Flagrant 2. This is No Easy Buckets. I'm Andrew Schultz. Do you know what I mean? I'll do this with one of the greatest comedians working today, Akash Singh. Absolutely brilliant comedic mind. Now you guys are able to indulge in. You know what I mean mean first clip out there does 200 000 fucking views right off the jump you know i mean that's that's

big off the jump i mean that's serious work right there so make sure you look out for him don't be the motherfucker that's late get in there early get on those tickets those tickets are available that tour is up right now you know don't say we didn't tell you so from the beginning all right um kaz we love you we miss you man love you we miss you we got your back you know the asshole army got your back whatever you need you know we're here for you man so make sure you go show kaz some love make sure you go show him some love right now man all right man we'll see y'all friday for for patreon and then we'll see y'all next week for after that peace