Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Joe Biden BANNED JOKES White House Correspondents’ Dinner 2022

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

Andrew Schulz ROASTS Joe Biden & every other politician with jokes that were TOO Flagrant for the White House Corespondents’ Dinner 2022, and then we invited our friend Brendan Schaub to join the podcast to discuss his new special Gringo papi. #TrendingNow 00:00 - REAL White House Correspondents' Dinner 2022 03:00 - Would Schulz Host the Correspondents' Dinner 08:00 - America has the BEST Traditions 15:25 - Thiccc Boy Brendan Schaub Joins the Boys 21:27 - Schulz & Schaub Roast Each other 33:45 - Schaubs Growth as a comedian 44:00 - “Does the hate bother you?” 59:50 - Schaub Clears up podcast Beef 1:12:25 - What is next for Schaub?

Insider info, everybody. The White House actually reached out to me and asked me to host the White House Correspondents' Dinner. I accepted, obviously. I sent them some of my jokes, but like Nancy Pelosi's eyes, they went in a different direction. Now, I can't let these jokes go to waste, so here we go. The real White House Correspondents' Dinner.

Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Biden is here, but he doesn't know that. Biden's brain is as soft as a bowl of cum, or as Anderson Cooper calls it, brunch. Does anyone here trust Biden's brain? I have more faith Madison Cawthorn could win Dancing with the Stars. Also, Cawthorn, stop bragging about how the Latino community supports you, okay? They don't. Mexicans just love a vegetable on a cart.

Speaking of vegetables, let's talk about someone who's got hips like a turnip. Trump, he missed his fifth correspondence dinner in a row. Did someone tell him it was Tiffany's birthday? Hunter Biden also couldn't make it. It was date night with his dead brother's wife. America hasn't had a hunter this shitty since Dick Cheney. But forget who didn't show up, OK?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have future President Ron DeSantis here. Give it up for Ron. Ron, you look like Bradley Cooper if the limitless pill was wrapped in bacon. Ron signed the Don't Say Gay Bill, so Florida kids are going to have to learn about homosexuality the old-fashioned way by watching CNN.

CNN is gay, ladies and gentlemen. I mean, between Lemon, Cuomo, Seltzer, and Cooper, CNN is taken more prep than an Asian kid studying for the SATs. But they're not the only biased ones in the building. Fox News is here as well.

Fox's slogan is fair and balanced. Sure, the only Fox that's less balanced is Michael J. Everyone knows that Fox has a major slant. And that's also what Tucker calls Andrew Yang. Jesus Christ.

I mean, come on, Fox. Fox leads. Bro. Can we keep that in? I don't know. I mean, come on, guys. Wait, wait, wait. Give me a second. I mean, come on, guys. Wait, wait, wait. Give me a second.

I mean, come on, guys. Fox leans further to the right than Stephen Hawking's neck. But guys, let's be serious for a minute, okay? America is incredibly divided right now. And sitting in this room are the most powerful and influential politicians and journalists in the world. And if our goal is to stop the division and unite America, I think we can all agree that the best way to do that is to simply let the president leave and then drop a bomb on this dinner immediately. Problem solved.

Wow. I figured it out. I love it. love it what's up everybody and welcome the flagrant to let's start this show nice why did they want you to do those jokes i don't know it's so stupid it's so weird it's so dumb dude they asked about editing a couple yeah which one you think andrew yang maybe no the andrew yang when they were fine oh okay you're right you're right my bad andrew yang was totally fine they were like yeah, yeah, they're racist over there at Fox News. But it was the Hunter Biden's dead brother's wife.

The factual one. Yeah, the factual one. The literal thing that's happening. Yeah, they really protect that kid, huh? Maybe next year you can host it. You know what? I don't want to host it. I don't want your stupid correspondence dinner. Why? You know? i don't want to host it i don't want your stupid correspondence dinner you know she's trying to have a fun take in the beginning be such a fun honor uh no no honestly it would

be it would be really cool i love the idea of and i thought trevor had some great jokes i thought he was good man we always are going to want something a little edgier but i thought he did great for what he does they're not gonna let you do anything edgy in that in that certain circumstance but like there were a couple jokes that were really fucking biting and yeah like embarrassing for the people in the room oh he had one against biden though something like yeah everybody was so appalled when he said putin should be removed from power and then they remember that nothing biden wants actually gets done that was a great bang even the tubing thing going right in at tubing he's at a circular table surrounded by

all of his friends and he's just praying that they don't mention it yeah I was impressed with Trevor Noah yeah I thought it was I thought it was good

I'm happy that they even did it like considering the last like however many years Trump was like yeah we're not we're not doing it it also exposes what a pussy Trump is

yeah like dude stand up there and take your fucking shots like a man yeah okay come back and fire at the end that's it and you have the last laugh yes like biden went up there and he had a couple zingers the the the brandon joke i thought was great yeah yeah yeah that one joke is uh you know the public aren't doing bad there's uh one guy over there that seems to be doing great this guy named brandon and that was really good. It was like a funny bit.

But like, yo, stand up there and do it. And every president should. And it's a great example of not only how a functional democracy works, no, it's a great example of humility. It's like, nice. This is how you don't get tyrants. Every year, you get made fun of and humiliated publicly

in front of all the people that you care about and the whole world. And it's all in good fun. And it's all in good fun and it's all in good fun everything's cool but the jokes kind of yeah operate in reality you know what could make it easier for republican presidents if the comedian hosting was openly conservative like trevor noah we all pretty much know where he stands on the issues yeah so if he's roasting a democratic president it's it's like someone who loves you making fun of you if crowder is roasting trump now it's on crowder too to fucking go hard and not hold back but then it's like oh it's just a guy who likes me also teasing me and i get to tease him back i think it hurts or annoys you more it bothers you more if it's a guy that you know doesn't like you taking fucking shots because you get to choose if this is going

to happen because he did trump did the comedy central roast which it was great yeah and was more hardcore and he put up with it so it was weird he just didn't want to give the power to the democrats that he knew were probably awesome he's like and let's be honest every correspondence host you know how they're going to vote which is why a guy like you would be great at it because you're a moderate guy yeah so you just give it to both sides equally but if it's like if Trump got a guy that he knows probably voted for him and then they take fucking shots. Now, the comedian better go hard. Be soft.

You got to do it. Yeah. You got to do it because then you're going to be president. That's true. You can be on both sides. That's true. That'll be fire. That'll be fire.

Fine. I'll do it one year before I'm president. There you go. I love it. That's a great. Yeah. That's where you announce it. Just like Trump.

Yeah. And then you set it up, have some callbacks for the next year bake in jokes yeah that don't pay off until a year later fire oh yeah they just think i'm having biden brain like what the fuck are you talking about out there finish the joke a year i told you i was gonna be out back up here oh that'd be far yeah i just love the idea i think it's so cool i don't know who else does this i don't know if What the fuck are you talking about out there? Finish the joke. I told you I was going to be back up here. Oh, that'd be fire. Yeah, I just love the idea. I think it's so cool. I don't know who else does this.

I don't know if there's other countries that do this. I'm sure there are. I'm sure we're not the only ones. But they say it happened in fucking Russia. You know what I mean? It happened in North Korea. It's not happening in Iran, Saudi Arabia. And yeah, it's just an awesome tradition.

And we should keep this going. This is fucking great. Anytime that we can publicly humiliate elected officials, we should do it yeah you get everything you want and run everything you want and fuck everybody over basically for 364 and a half days a year one night one day of one night we get to say something to you this Christmas Christmas yeah like phenomenal yeah comics are the most important yeah we shaped the world nobody's better than us bastion of free speech yeah I just think it's what a great tradition I think it's yeah man that is that is a great that is a great thing yeah do we have the best traditions Thanksgiving fire fire Christmas nobody did that before us. We don't have Carnival, though.

Say what? We don't have Carnival. Yeah, we do. Nah. Not like Brazil, not like Trinidad. We got New Orleans or whatever. Marty Grohl. They got Carnival, we got Marty Grohl.

Way more titties than our shit. I don't know about that. Way more titties. They got more flowers and shit. We got way more titties. I don't think we got that many celebrations. Bro, the trade-off, the fact that inflation hasn't affected beads like it's still one set of beads two sets of tits i don't know i feel like one set of tits two tits yeah i feel like girls want more beads

i mean i haven't been to mardi gras where i feel like this is going up nah they'd be showing them they show them for a set of beads like whoever invented it people are like oh my god crypto it means nothing. There's been shit that's worth nothing that got you things before. Titty coin, bro. Titty coin. That's it. Let's go.

Real time. Yeah, but Mardi Gras has like mad floppy tits and shit like that. You go to like Carnival, it's women on backs. It's disgusting the way you talk about women's bodies. Women on backs. Because they're hungry, Al.

Okay? They're not eating like Zion Williamson out in New Orleans walking around 300 pounds on the basketball court but yeah nah we have fire traditions july 4th sick um fireworks fire but also black people juneteenth gonna be lit once you get black about it what you what you mean y'all make shit cool do you not yeah you might be honest i'm like you just started it's fresh it's fresh it's fresh but like give black people 10 years Cool

Ten years that's gonna be the mostly holiday forget it son. I don't know what day it is. I Don't know what day you know son It's 18. It's 19. It's 19. It's 19. He got it wrong too. He got it wrong too. You had it bad wrong too. The first time he was early. Fuck me. You're going to get road crushed. But it's because it's not hot enough.

But once black people make Juneteenth a black holiday, bro. I was so eager about it. It's every day. Juneteenth is every day. Every time, every day. Every day is Juneteenth. All I'm trying to say is holidays, if you want to go pound for pound, a black holiday bro I was so eager about it that I was like it's everyday Jiu Jitsu is everyday every time everyday yeah yeah yeah all I'm trying to say is holidays

if you want to go pound for pound American holidays versus any other country they celebrate our shit they celebrate Valentine's Day in other places

they celebrate Halloween in other places we ain't celebrating no French shit no one else celebrates July 4th I'm sorry I'm sorry Mark don't be sorry man I'm sorry Mark what do you mean they don't celebrate July 4th no I was in Japan onuly 4th i'm sorry i'm sorry mark don't be sorry i'm sorry mark what do you mean

they don't celebrate july 4th i was in japan on july 4th and they didn't celebrate what day do they celebrate payback day what do they do for that do they do a little dance for payback day he's talking about godzilly He's not talking about anything. Hell yeah. I got you. I'm just saying, guys. I'm just saying, we got the most fire holidays. I'm going to go so far as to say, I don't know. Actually, actually, and I can't believe you haven't spoken up. Holy?

Fire. Oh, that's fire. I've been waiting to say that. He was waiting to say that? He just reminded you about that. I had to put you on game, sir. Oh, shit. I said it for you. He said, speaking of which, I don't know how you haven't spoken up. I said about that. I had to put you on game, it's your own shit. I said it for you. He said,

speaking of which, I don't know how you haven't spoken up, I said holy, I was waiting to cut. You got that. I might have to take credit for that.

He's so colorful. The British invented that. How did the British make that? They brought color. Y'all didn't have color. It was black and white. It was black and white.

The British had nothing before. They didn't have spices. What do they have? They had no color. They still ain't got spices. Have you seen a British person? They still don't have color.

Pale motherfuckers. Yeah, you all say that shit. Like, oh, they took everything from us. Not everything, bro. They took very few things. You came for spices and don't even put them in your food? Son. Oh, gosh.

When is holy? Overrated. When is holy? Yeah, what day is holy? It's a lunar calendar, so it's always different times. Shut up. Yeah, it is. Shut up.

We're not talking about periods. We're not fucking talking about periods. We're not talking about your girl period right now. 100%. We're talking about holy. When is holy, bro? It's a different time every year. Look up holy last year. So is Valentine's.

No, it's not. No, it's not. Valentine's is a different one every year. Valentine's is Thursday every year. It's your girl's birthday I thought that should be switching too This chick is Aquarius I think we do it on the Aquarius calendar dude

Nah for real bro Is it Valentine's Thursday every year? No Are you sure? Nah Thursday is Thanksgiving every year too There's certain holidays that they rep the day they don't rep the month Ramadan

Eid Mubarak by the way fake ass Muslims here fake ass Muslims been eating the whole fucking time you you've been eating the whole time

fucking white girls eating the whole time having them fasted once yeah put the camera on put the camera on this piece of shit he got a fresh shave all that pork he got a fresh shave like he's been growing out his beard for fucking ramadan bullshit bullshit all i'm trying to say is best holidays on the motherfucking planet america holy is straight

flames holy flames diwali fun holy i don't know Diwali as well. We'd be lighting shit. We'd be having fireworks. I need to go to India to really experience it. Yeah, that would be awesome. That's in my references right there. That one's lit too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give gifts.

Brazil got carnival. It also got a fire New Year's. Yeah, yeah. Where they dress up all white. They're in the beach and shit like that. But just tan people in white is fire. It is. It is true. It is true.

It is true. Even DJ Khaled looked like a snack in some white. You know what I'm saying? Why do you think black people always throw all white parts?

Y'all look good in white. Y'all look good in white. I ain't going for it, bro. No, we kill that shit. Oh, boy. If the Backstreet Boys were black, bro, remember when they were

in them all white suits and the BTS? Gone. Man, what? Oh, they would've been even bigger. I was like been bigger. Man, what? Oh, they would have been bigger. I was like, how'd you get Asian?

Yeah, man. I think we need to put... I think we need some respect put on us for our ability to create holidays. Yeah. If you can celebrate our holidays,

don't talk that shit about us during the rest of the year. But you should get more days off. Super Bowl Monday should be a holiday, a day off. Talk that shit. The NFL draft, give people time off. Don't just party in Vegas expecting to show up to work the next day. Time off.

You need time off. If we're going to be partying all night, we're going to need that Monday. 100%. Super Bowl Monday in particular. That shit don't apply to none of y'all. Yeah, I was just about to say. That shit don't apply to none of y'all yeah I was just starting here starting here everybody want to

have a Monday off Martin Luther King ain't take no days off yeah I know he got some days what he got some days I thought he was working

I don't know um that's what he told his wife I'll try to kill himself I'll try to kill himself today. Al's trying to kill himself today. But I respect the jokes. The jokes matter more. We are comedians.

We're shaping the world. All jokes matter. All of them. Yes. Okay? Come on now. We need to dress in white, dude. Yes.

Yeah. But not. Wait. Wait. Come on, Mark. Why'd you do that? Why? Why'd you fucking do that?

Wait you've got a point I'm not just talking about the hood Alright guys We have a very special guest We're bringing in today Right now So without further ado Give it up for my brother

Brendan motherfucking Shaw Is in the building We're here with Brandon Schaub, everybody. The boys. What's up, baby? Cheers, brother. Cheers.

You know, it's really interesting that Schaub told me before the podcast that he has a gift for me for the wedding. Oh, that's so nice. Dude,

I mean, listen. Dove still hasn't given me a gift and I see him every single day. Wait, Schaub hasn't gotten you one? Schaub hasn't given me a gift. I have a gift for him. I've had it for eight weeks. Also, Schaub got invited.

That's all you gotta do is got to say, I have one? You had time. Shob got invited the day before the wedding. I think he's about to give him the gift. I don't think he's going to say, I have a gift. No, he doesn't have it here. Here's where it gets nicey. Well, fuck, man.

Are we making content or not? I know. I fucked up. I have the gift. I've had it for eight weeks. Now, you know, I'm a sneakerhead. And I know in Jordan 1s, that's also my favorite shoe of all time, the Jordan 1. Yeah, mids or?

Here we go. So I have to source these. And they're not easy to find. So I got the Jordan 1 Union LA edition. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I asked for your shoe size. Remember that? A hot second ago.

I don't remember that. It was after your wedding. I was like, yo, dog, what size shoe are you? And you were like, why? What are you? And you... What do you want to know? He was like, what do you want to know? My dick size?

I was just so used to my friends not giving me gifts, I didn't assume that you were actually going to get me something. I gave you a cryptocurrency that tanked very quickly. But is it down to zero? Crypto's tough right now. But it was the intention. What a fucking asshole. Just give me that and Bitcoin. Why are you giving me this like off

currency thinking it might make it? I thought it would have a higher return. You gave him an alt coin? Yeah, he gave me an alt coin. Shut the fuck up! You don't talk about this. You've given me nothing. All I gotta say is his fucking stock is down. You still have hope for my gift.

My gift can only be positive. It's still worth thousands more than your zero. Can I tell you something? Can I say one thing? This is very interesting. I started helping Dove with my gift. Wait, what? You're giving him ideas?

No, no. Like, yeah, I have a good idea pop in because now it's more just about you not looking like a scumbag to my wife. So I go, Dove, I got a good idea for the because now it's more just about you not looking like a scumbag to my wife. So I go, Dove, I got a good idea for the gift you're supposed to give me. I'm helping him execute a gift to me. To redeem yourself. You still haven't done it. Yeah, and you still haven't done it.

And you know what? I thought your idea was mid. At this point. I'm grateful. Double down. Let's go. Let's go. This shit's everywhere.

It's in the comments. The idea is fire. It's in the comments. The idea is fire. It's in the streets. The best restaurant in the world is coming to New York for a pop-up for a week. That's a mid-idea? The best restaurant in the world. For his wife, that's a mid-idea? Tickets sold, the meals or whatever, the reservations sold out within the first minute.

It was crazy. It's called Noma. It's originally, I think, in Copenhagen. And they're here for a week so it's completely sold out the truffle can make that shit happen i'm like yo this would be fire it's not too expensive but the thought is super valuable this is what's so crazy that he doesn't understand what and i was actually i'll make fun of myself yeah i'm the one who saw the post about this actually coming to new york and i just sent it to your girl saying look what's

coming instead of saying shit that would have been a fucking great gift. Why don't you still get it? Because they don't have it. And I'm like trying to nudge them towards it now. Even now, I'm trying to nudge them towards it. It's crazy. At this point, you guys don't want to do it. I don't like it.

I don't like it. I don't like it. It ain't here. It's a fucking idea where is it yes in the box dog it's a and it's also a pretty good investment but on your crypto hate to be shitty tell me which one the the union jordan is the lenny kravitz jordan that's a good champagne Mark got me champagne by Lenny Kravitz like he knows anything about fucking champagne

pull it up Mark please god damn it there you got a dick on him but as far as those union the LA editions the black and red

and yellow with yellow laces hold on one second how are you just gonna sneak in Lenny Kravitz got a dick on him and you didn't comment who said that

I did that guy wait does he yeah big piece he was doing a concert in leather pants, no underwear. Hey, let's look at the size.

Let's look at size. What are you, size 12? Go bring up size 12 on StockX on those. Let's see. Union is a show in a skateboard shop in LA. They always do the best collabs. Oh, wow. You put the yellow laces in.

Those are the best Jordan ones you can get, Doug. I'm going to be honest. Keep them shits, Bill. Really? Really? Not your style? That's how you're bringing Doug. I'm going to be honest. Keep them shits, bro. Really? Really? I'm off the Jordan. I'm a dump now. I'm off the Jordan.

I'll take them shits. Punches, chants, whiskey, he's a bad guy. Them shits is whack. You're a bad guy. Them shits is whack. You got me out for my wedding? How could you? You're a Marty Mc. Bro! You're a bad guy. That shit is whack, Sean. You got me that for my wedding? How could you?

Bro, you're in Marty McFly Converse. I'm trying to be a fucking solo. I thought you had money, dawg. What is this? I get trying to be humble and all that, but those? Hold on. We got to see what you're wearing. Oh, the Concept Air Max 1 collab?

What concept? What concept? They run out of material? That's a store in Boston. That's Boston. Huh? That's Boston. That's Boston.

That's Boston. That's Boston. That's Boston. That's Boston. That's Boston. That's Boston. That's Boston. Hold on, we gotta see what you're wearing. Oh, the Concept Air Max 1 collab? What concept? What concept? It's a store in Boston. It's a store in Boston. No, if there's one place that knows sneakers, it's Boston. Yeah, and style.

These are way better than those. Buddy. Boston can't even have a marathon without running away from a bomb. Those are like 40. Yo, these on StockX, bro? You can't even find a marathon without running away from a bomb. Those are like 40. Yo, these on StockX, bro? You can't even find these on StockX, bro. Put that shit up right here.

Put that shit up right here. You can't find them on StockX because they're in the store. Yo, you don't need to go to StockX for these. These are available. Yeah, you go to Kohl's and get those. I mean, congrats. What's Kohl's? Yeah, there we go. Oh, you got to throw the New York jokes in.

It's like, what's their version of Kohl's? Don't there we go. Oh, you got to throw the New York jokes in. Yeah. It's like, what's their version of Kohl's? TJ Maxx. Don't explain it. Is it TJ Maxx? Jimmy Gazz. Don't explain it. These? Nah, they're kind of hard.

Zoomies. Those are objectively, the ones that you showed me before, they weren't bad. Don't disrespect us. Those weren't bad. I'll fight you. Those weren't bad. And you would win. These are awful.

I mean that sincerely. Those are one of the ugliest sneakers I've ever seen in my entire life. I'm going to be honest. He does this. Can we compliment one thing he's shitting on? To shit on something awful. Can I just take it off for a second? I should have put the alternate laces on. Here's the thing.

Now he's insecure about the laces. It's the laces. No, these are fire, dude. Here's the thing. Now he's insecure about the laces. It's the laces. It's the laces. No, these are fire, dude. Here's the thing. No, these are the coolest sneakers I've ever seen. Who wore these? Did Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wear these?

Is that what they made? Denim reference? You're better than that. You're better than that. Bro, look at your pants right now. I know what you were thinking. Wait, wait, wait. Are you hating on his pants that don't reach the ankle?

That's the best part of them. Yours don't either. I love that part. Oh, you like it. I like that. Here's the thing. The rest of them know. I would take offense to you hating on shoes if you weren't wearing basic Converse.

Yo, sometimes, listen, I'll be honest with you. You go high low. It's too much. You go high low, bro. It's too I'll be honest with you you go high low it's too much you go high low it's too much I'm with you it's not too you know what I mean

like if I got something nice up here then I'm gonna be simple down there what is this saying what is this saying you know what this says this

what does that say to you when you look at it you know how old the ear maxes the ones but just say what does it say it's such an old shoe.

So for them to revamp it and put their flair on it. The Woodstock fucking 60s flair with the flannel. You don't know shit. Did you just say flannel? They have flannel. They got fucking cornered on them. They have everything on it. That's the problem.

Yeah, dog. The orange bandana pattern is literally the pattern of your jacket right now. Oh, so battered. Right there. Oh, yeah, they're sick now. That was the thing I didn't notice about them. They're actually absolutely amazing right here. You don't think they're a little confusing, like objectively.

That's what I like. If you just saw someone else wearing them, what would you think? How much? How much? What size do you wear? How much? How much? Size 12?

How much did you wear? To your point, you know. But I get these are cool and people think these are cool. Sure. But to your point. Honestly. You're crazy on top. It's me and you on a beach.

And I show up in these. Yeah. What do you do? Suck your dick. Oh. Sick. Dude, that is fucking sick. The sickest part is at the label.

It's like the Mexican wristbands that you get, the little bracelets that they put your name on. Wait, what are you saying? At the top, where it says concept. Where it says concept and the crazy colors. Yeah. It's a throwback to that 70s time. There's Camel on there.

Some things need to get left behind, bro. There's a whole story. You don't need to revamp everything. You know what I mean? Like, this, honestly, this is not as bad as slavery, but there's certain things that need to get left in the past. This is not as bad. The white chucks.

Bro, these around forever, bro. Around forever. You in this outfit right here with these. Honestly, you want to put this on? What do you want? These are 12. It's going to be a tight fit tight fit I'm a stretcher shoe out are you coughing up feet on the gram yet or what nah man you got good feet i mean you know dude feet a little bit my my my my my middle was longer get out of here bro you're not even in a combo bro i mean middle till longer i don't think i started only fans with my feet is it

true did a cat really makes tons of money on OnlyFans? Yeah, she's quitting firing the kid because of it. She makes so much money. How much is she making on OnlyFans? It depends. What's a lot of money to you guys in here? You're making six figures showing seats. I don't know. I thought you were doing well and you showed up in those shoes. I don't know anymore.

I thought you were crushing it. Did he just try to insult us? He did. He's also doing those great ideas. I'm on OnlyFans right now. I thought you were crushing it did he just try to insult us did he just try to insult us he's also got his great ideas I'm one of the only fans right now did he just try to shit on us how dare he try to shit on us

no no that's a lot of money alright whatever you guys get for it's a lot of money no matter who you are I'll tell you right now she makes over 100 grand a month

what and she was still working mhm are the feet that crazy her feet her body like she's a pretty girl yeah yeah yeah i thought the feet was the thing that started with just the feet and then you know you got to give the audience what they want and has she been showing coochie no no no no i think just like lingerie type of shit she has a man but you know she does her thing she's crushing it she was like hey man i was like i get it good for you cat all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because some of y'all are active out there you know i mean some of y'all are trying to get active but you ain't got nothing to wear when you do it you looking goofy uncomfortable uncomfortable

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And let's get back to the show. The man thing is weird, though. I can't. If your girl was like doing that? No, I can't. I couldn't do it. Me personally. I couldn't do it.

Think how crazy the feet are for a second, though. That might keep you in for a while. That's all I'm thinking about. That's all I'm thinking about right now. I need to see these pictures. Real talk. Let's be honest with ourselves. I think I have a great gift for my wife.

One subscription to Cats and OnlyFans. You don't have those in the union ones? Son of a bitch. Keep the union ones. Give me two year subscription to Cats. $25. What is it? $25 a month?

Just pay the sub. I don't know. I don't know OnlyFans. I've never seen her shit either. Yeah, right. I swear on my life. I've never seen her, the pictures. She didn't come in In a California podcast

She never wore sandals once And you look down I don't think so dude She always She wears dope sneakers I can believe it I can believe it You gotta pay for the goods

You gotta pay for it Yeah she's smart She's smart Son you never got curious About her feet Yeah hell yeah $100,000 a month You're not looking

I'm not a foot guy I'm dying to know I'm not a foot guy Say again I'm not a foot guy $100,000 a month They better be webbed It's an issue Yeah So you have five toes I'm in Even four I'm not a foot guy I'm dying to know I'm not a foot guy Say again I'm not a foot guy $100,000 a month They better be webbed It's an issue

But as long as you have Five toes I'm in Even four I'm gonna fuck Unless there's something weird If she has Simpson feet That would be fire dude

A normal foot But just four digits I didn't know That would be Well Simpson's only got four Ninja turtle Yeah That would be worth the money

You have pictures up there Yeah Oh they have three. But yeah. Can you pull up the feed, though? No, no, no, no, no, no. Not unless we pay him. You know what I mean?

Like, we definitely got to pay for it. She's doing something right. You think I'm already not subscribed? Yeah. Wait, really? No. What do you mean, really? Yo, I think that this show should have an OnlyFans budget.

And I think that we should move around a couple hundred dollars a month for different OnlyFans. A couple hundred a month? Like, who's the... Hilarious. But who's crush on OnlyFans? Thatans. A couple hundred a month? Like, who's the biggest? Who's crush on OnlyFans? That's a lot of accounts, yo. Like, who's crush on OnlyFans? Bad Baby. Bad Baby made $52 million?

That bitch made $50 million. Is she number one? She's the biggest? I don't know. Probably some other girl. Who's making more than $50 million a fucking year? That's insane. I think Blac Chyna made more, I think.

No. I think Tyga made more. Tyga was making crazy with the dick out. He got a hog. Yeah, I saw that pic. Pic army in the building. made more i think no i think tiger made tiger was making crazy with the dick out yeah hog i thought yeah i saw that big yeah big army in the building and you out here selling whiskey yeah black china made 20 million per month in 2021 according to this uh website is that real there's no way this says there's just no way it had to happen one month it had to happen one month. It had to happen one month. I think it's their highest month. It's still $20 million.

Bro, talk about a come up. That fucking bad... Bad baby. Bad baby. Dude, fucking... No, bad... Like Bobby without the R. Bad...

It's pronounced bad baby. Bad baby. Do we have something we can throw at Dove when he just derails for no reason? I thought I was right here. I was like, yeah, that makes sense. It's Bad Baby. Bad Baby?

But really, no. But she spells it different. To be different. Wait, Alex, are you saying that you're not familiar with people in hip-hop misspelling things on purpose? She's not a hip-hop. She's literally a rapper. She's literally the best female rapper of her generation.

We don't take her. We don't take her. Al. We don't take her. She's an OnlyFans girl. Al. She's an OnlyFans girl. Al, she's a platinum recording artist.

Is she? Is she platinum? She went platinum. That's not fair. Mark, she's a platinum recording artist. Is she? Is she platinum? She went platinum. That's not fat. I believe that. Mark, please look it up. With her fan base? Fuck.

Talk about a come up, dude. Yeah. From fucking Dr. Phil. It's a bad baby. It's a bad baby. From Dr. Phil, Catch Me Outside to 50 million. She's got two platinum records. Two platinum.

Sorry, I was wrong. Not one. Two. Yeah. Left tit, right tit. Those are it. Al, she just turned 18. Dumb shits. Yeah, yeah. So y'all talking about she making 50 mil? That's all I'm saying is 50 mil. Two. Yeah. Left tit, right tit. Those are it. Al, she just turned 18. Dumb shits.

Yeah, yeah. So y'all talking about she make a 50 mil? That's all I'm saying is 50 mil. I wasn't talking about 50 mil. How'd you know? How'd you know? How'd you know she made 50 mil? I don't even know she had tits.

I'm reading news articles, bro. I don't even know she got tits. You just told me that. She's a kid. Oh, so we weren't all just looking at that? Not everybody's getting under the bus. She's a kid. You were drooling.

This guy's fucking. I never drool once, bro. You went off to the corner, started jerking off and shit like that. Y''s getting under the bus. She's a kid. You were drooling. I never drool once, bro. You went off to the corner and started jerking off and shit like that. Yannick, this is crazy, bro. She's a child, okay? She's doing lots of crafts. She's making Brennan sneakers every single day. She's doing everything she fucking can to get by as a child.

Okay? Yeah. We're not going to be talking about children like that. Just for the record, I thought we were talking about Bad Bunny. I want to be very clear. His OnlyFans is wild, bro. Lit. Yeah. to be very clear. His OnlyFans is wild, bro. Lit. Yeah.

50 mil, dude? Oh, you're not getting money over there? Hey, you're not getting money over there, bro? I am not on that tax. A little 50 mil? I'm not on that tax, man. Oh, I thought you was getting money over there, bro. I heard that.

Come on, bro. Come on. Your shoes threw me for a lube, dude. Yeah, I got to do that. I got to switch it up on you a little bit. I'm just saying saying bad money making real money dude bad money that's a great name though hey guys it's rubbing off on me i can't fucking speak with this guy around okay uh uh shab talk to us man um you

are here you have a special that's out right now gringo poppy yep i would be here regardless but yeah i'm here no that's why you're here you ain't been here yet you're here just for that reason we you know i mean i'm here for that but you would go right to charlotte you have a family you want to spend time with your kids facts you're not gonna just come to new york for a week carry on okay do you think a latina wife she's gonna let you come to new york for a week nope burn on. Okay? You've got a Latina wife. She's going to let you come to New York for a week? Nope. Burn the house down. Carry on.

Exactly. Yep. Carry on. Okay? Yep. So you're here for one reason. To spread the knowledge of this special around the world. Correct.

Okay. The Gringo Papi on Thick Boy YouTube. Yep. Thick Boy YouTube. After putting out this special. Yes, sir. Which, before you go on, huge help to you guys, especially Akash and his team. He's been so much help, man.

I can't thank you enough, man. Glad to help. Yeah, he's been great. And you two, you came to the taping at the Ha Ha. Not the taping, but I ran the special there, and you came by. You said to me, you're like, I'm doing a special. I think it was going to be for Comedy Central or something at that point. Some major network, right and uh so i was like okay i gotta see this shit because

i didn't want you to get into the same situation what happened with the showtime one sure so i was like i gotta see it and as long as i saw improvement yep that's what mattered the most to me correct you know and we were talking about this before but for me you're in this really precarious situation because it's like first of all how do you feel about the showtime special we spoke about the showtime special yeah um in hindsight like i hindsight in hindsight like i wouldn't change anything like this is my path right like that not like that i'm saying i'm with you i know i know where you're going with it in hindsight i wouldn't change anything because it led me here and the stuff I learned from that special to everything but in hindsight going back and it's a common theme throughout my career in

sports you know in the UFC in the NFL college football I wish I had someone that with the perspective I have now that goes whoa dude you've been doing two years yeah what the fuck you thinking did nobody tell you that until you're 10 years in did nobody say that to you no not really because i think i don't know you know i don't know no one told me nobody was like yo let me watch it or let me just hey man it takes fucking you can't cheat this game it takes fucking years to get to the point where you can do this callan a little bit he told me that and delia a little bit but it was more like but if they're paying you why you have an hour like why not you know but i i wish i had someone in my ear being like dude it's a this comedy game it's a marathon not a race yeah 10 years in before you start finding your voice 10 years in yeah no matter how many sets you're getting it's 10 years in yeah you

know so i i do wish somebody told me that there's nothing you change about it yeah so as long as you're you learn from that yeah which was a mistake, you learn from it, you grow, you put in the work, you put in the time. And that's why with this special on YouTube, the Green Girl Poppy, like, Tony, man, put in the work. Yes. Put in the work. Yes.

There's only so much I can do. And it's the best I can do, brother. Yeah. It's the best I can do. Yeah. And for what I do, it's pretty good for doing this short amount of time compared to 10 years or however long you've been doing it. 15. 15 and 40.

Yeah. So it's like – You know, but take this perspective though, Schultz. It's like, yeah, remember, I'm surrounded by monsters, man. So, you know, one of my closest friends, my brothers Joe Rogan and Brian Callen and Chris Dstalia and theo vaughn and burt kreischer so i want to be like them man yeah those are my north stars i want to be those guys yeah but there's nothing i can i don't have a time machine to go back and skip the ufc career and skip the nfl and get my experience and so i thought by getting the nod from showtime that i'm just like you guys. Yeah, you want to impress your peers.

Yes, that's all I want. So it's like. Yeah, in a way it was too like, listen, there's so many obviously positives when you're being around in close proximity to great comics, right? Because it's going to inspire you to be better at comedy. You're going to grow to your surroundings. And we're all like fucking goldfish, right? You put a goldfish in a tiny little bowl, it's only going to grow so big. You see how the sausage is made.

Exactly. But you also see how big it can get, how funny it can get, et cetera. But I think one of the issues with that is that you don't have friends that are two-year comics that you're coming up with. Correct. Right? Yeah. And two-year comics are talking about two-year comic things. Correct.

Oh, I maybe want to do at this time, I want to do a late night or I want to do this. None of them are going, yeah, I need to put out my hour special right now correct right so in retrospect i mean it's a great philosophy to go oh i don't regret this because i want to get it got me to where i am now and i'm happy for where i am that's a beautiful perspective it's the perspective you need to have on life you don't want to do it but but i also think it's also like yep you did that and if you watch that and then you watch now i'm like holy shit dude this kid's working yeah yeah well that's what i that's what i when i came out there i was like i need to know that you've put in work because this means the world to me comedy right so it's like and i love you and i think that you know i was telling you this before but

like i think that people don't know what a great guy you are and there's very few great guys in comedy and i mean this sincerely like there are things that you do they'll probably never see the light of day that are like intensely loyal mind-boggling and kind and that is a you know indicative of a person of like very high character and i appreciate that oh thank you and i'll always have your back because of that and that's why i came to see it because what i judge you as is i judge you as a comic has been doing it for now what seven years seven years yeah so i'm looking at seven years in i'm not going okay this guy is saying i'm ready to have a special on youtube i should be compared to shane gillis i should be compared to these people because those people are doing comedy

way longer dylan or if you're looking at me and then going to Nate Bargatsky, it's like. Right. You know? Right. Yeah. So I think that if that's the perspective and you're looking at like what you have is you have this group of fans that have loved you even before you did comedy. Dude, they've been on the journey with me.

Remember, I was doing Fire and the Kid when I was fighting. Fire and the Kid is almost 10 years old. 10 years old. How long have you guys been doing this? this how long you've been almost five five almost five years and then that was the first podcast or do you have something on your own i did brilliant idiots with charlamagne and how long ago was that i don't know good question so so but five years maybe eight so you know a while ago firing kids 10 years old dude so if you go back and listen to those older episodes those first episodes like you know

that show is like we're at the time there's like rogan there wasn't there wasn't any competition it was like me and i was a fighter at the time but i wanted to be a stand-up comic and there's brian who's a stand-up comic so we had this this dynamic back and forth so it's like they've seen where i and i was talking about you know my training camp and the fights on there so they've been the highs and lows with him and being a fan of mine when i was a fighter even now like you know that's a rough ride man you know especially as a fighter that's a rough fucking go dude so you know i built that phone on there and then they've been on the street now but they've been with me where you know if you talk to any of my peers whether it's kreischer or sagar rogan they'll go don't post

your ferraris i'm like no no i'm different than you man you gotta understand my fans were listening to me when i was making 14 grand to fight no gear in brazil and i lost and i after taxpaying the managers i ate eight grand and you know and i I had a mortgage and my girl was pregnant. So they've came up with me through this journey when I had fucking, I know Rock's whole thing is $700 cool.

Your dad was a WWE legend. I didn't have any of that, dude. So they've been on this journey with me when I had fucking nothing. And they also have been on a journey where I talked about going to my first open mic and then doing my first set

at the comedy store. So they've gone on this crazy path with me man yeah crazy path so a lot of times like someone who's like a stand-up comedy traditionalist they get into stand-up comedy and they're like and this has changed now and uh you know you could say this is partly our fault but like comics are are sharing a lot more their material material. Completely your fault. Fair enough. Completely your fault. The relationship between a comic and our material has transitioned. Before it was something we hoard for years, and then we put out the special, and now it's our best marketing tool.

There's pressure to put content out, to stay relevant, to stay in the race. And I was talking to Rogan about this. He doesn't have to do it. He's at a certain level where he didn't come up that way. I tell those guys they don't have to do that stuff. You also get to a certain level of success where you doesn't have to do it he's at a certain level he didn't come up that way tell those guys they don't have to do that you also get to a certain level of success where you don't need to do it as much but what i'm saying with us it's like especially where maybe you know you're the ringleader of this but now it's like with stand-up you have to have

content out there no i'm specifically saying for you is different is that like your journey is in front of people it's almost like people are living this reality show with you right where it's like you're not going like most people go don't friends and family don't even see me for four years before i'm ready to go you're being transparent with your journey you're going hey this is me at this stage this is me at this stage this is me at this stage so i think it's cool which is it is cool but it's also your journey which i know about you which i support yes right so a lot of people they go oh when it's time for a special this is the mess this is the mess this is my

finished product i'm done here it is you're going hey my journey is something i share with my fans and i think that's dope yeah And that's how I see you. Sure. And I think that you'll get negative feedback from people that don't because they're giving you traditional stand-up comedy expectations. Like they're watching like Tim Dillon and going over to me? You know what I'm saying? No.

Like they're going, oh, you shouldn't put this out because you have been doing comedy for 15 years. Sure. Yeah. It's like, well, no, no. In 15 years, you'll put another one out. Correct. well no part in 15 years you'll put another one out correct and in 10 years maybe you'll put another one out and you'll ideally if you keep working hard continue to improve and get better just like anything you do with boxing you do with mma etc do it with everything yeah exactly and there's only one way to do it which

is grinding doing the work and that's why i think andrew's willing to help you that's why i was willing to help you is this is like religious for us. I'm a religious guy. Stand up as a second faith for me. Sure. And I don't need you to be the best disciple of the faith, but I need to make sure you're devoted to the faith. For sure. And when I see you're growing, it's like, bet you're in there, you're grinding.

What can I help you with? Yeah. Yeah. How much I can help you. I'll give you my, my resources. You know, I love you guys, man. Appreciate you. Does it bother you when you get

hate uh i i don't understand it i think i think other comics might be able to understand it um but i also i don't understand it because i don't have hate like no matter who it is you know like i try to help anybody out even if they don't deserve it i'll usually do as much as i can for them even if i don't know so i can't relate to it you know so it will hurt my feelings if i entertain it but i don't you know you try to ignore it when i say ignore it like people talk about posting ghosts and they're usually full of shit i'm telling you man i haven't seen anything about three four years i see nothing so by the time it gets to me it has to be pretty bad you know so i see nothing because i don't think it's uh beneficial for what we do right i think it's

good to have your ear to the ground know what the trends and what schultz he's doing akash is doing and what you know nate bargatze is doing so that's good but as far as that the the feedback and the fans and reading you know youtube comics no man i don't think it's good i don't think it's good so um you know it's just the way i deal with it and that's not for everybody right you know but um it works for me yeah i mean some of us we're so feedback dependent we want to look at the comments we want to see what people are doing and again no judgment if that works for you do that dude but for a for a lot of people it's it's not too beneficial you know especially my journey right like yeah could be triggering so i get it man

you know i'm saying i get it so as far as the hate you're not telling me anything i haven't heard you know i'm saying like nobody's harder on themselves than me so whatever you say trust me i've thought it so it doesn't hurt my feelings man right you know and do you understand where some of them are coming from i they they probably i understand it where if you know oh this guy whatever their agenda is their narrative is yeah man you know it's like yeah because if you don't know me or you just watch a special you just saw a post of a ferr Ferrari but you weren't on the journey fuck yeah you know I'm saying so I get it it's triggering too because a lot of I would assume the hate comes from you know there's a lot of people that don't have the balls to come me sure as fuck don't have the balls to fight in

the UFC right so a lot of it's triggering man right because I'm because my thing is I've always had the balls I've always had the confidence thank god I had great parents super blessed for that right that whatever dude whatever you want to do do it man yeah and I've ran had the balls. I've always had the confidence. Thank God I had great parents. Super blessed for that. Dude, whatever you want to do, do it, man. And I've ran with that, dude. Ran with that to the fullest extent. So maybe they didn't have good parents. Maybe they have something going on with their lives where they can't go to open mics or they can't pursue it.

So they have this toxic, dark energy, and they see me pursuing it. It's triggering. And they might be really talented. They might be funny. But for whatever reason, they see me pursuing it it's triggering yeah and they might be really talented they might be funny but for whatever reason they can't do it and you want to throw hate my way i was built for it dog you know okay i get it brother i get it man yeah and if i could here's the thing if i could help you i would but you know i there's nothing i can do i don't know them i don't see it yeah yeah yeah it's a tricky situation I often think back to like

you know the scenario that you were in with like with the whole showtime thing because at first I'm like why didn't anybody tell you and then there's part of me that's like of course nobody told you right it's like people wanted opportunity from you you had one of the biggest podcasts on the planet at that time and this is during like the podcast bubble when things were starting to fucking explode i mean i still do yeah of course um and then you have proximity to the fucking king joe so nobody's gonna want to keep it real with you and be honest with you what if i get on his bad side i'll never get on rogan yeah and they're like they're like well i would like him to suggest that i may be going rogan right which they know that you're a good guy you did it for me you've done it for people and they're like listen for three people ever though so for those out there if you ask me to

do it i've done for three but you're undeniably a helpful person yeah when i was doing the la podcast nobody was more helpful than you nobody lined up as much and did as much so i understand how you could potentially be in that situation. But after that, it's up to you to learn from those situations and make sure. Yeah, that's on me, brother. But again, all that's from hard work. Yeah. And you're not going to, again, I know you guys know hustlers.

There's when hard, when it comes to hard work, people say, and I told Rogan, quit saying this. So paint this narrative, dude, you take that professional athletes mindset. I've always had this, dude. I could be a UPS worker, and I just fucking grind, man.

My dad, he's not a professional athlete, grinds, dude. That's all I know. But people, oh, professional athlete,

no, what are you talking about? I know professional athletes have horrible work ethics. It's just, it's a, it's a, it's a, you know,

it's a, it's a trait of somebody like my my father-in-law works at walmart did he grind his ass off dude yeah he doesn't own the company he's a manager at walmart yeah works the most mexican job yes and he is very mexican yeah yeah yes he does construction on the side so it's like side? Yeah. The side of a pickup truck going to Home Depot. It's Mexican on Mexican. At the Home Depot off DeSoto and Woodland Hills, give them a job. What's Woodland Hills?

Is this California? Yeah. Suburban fucking, like outside Calabasas. Did your father-in-law put together your sneaker? Listen. He'd be a lot richer if he did. He actually put together yours, my man. They've been doing it for a hundred years.

This is Dr. J, dude. This is Dr. J. Imagine playing loose in this. A doctor put together my shit. It's actually Chuck Taylor. Who was Dr. J? You forgot who Chuck Taylor was for a minute, didn't you? You wanted to fucking lay that hate note on me.

I was like, who the fuck was that motherfucker? Damn it. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because obviously, you know, I've been catching some rays. You know what I mean? Look at my skin. Look like a cherub. You know what I'm saying? I look like a Russian's back after getting beaten by some leaves.

I look like a Russian's back after getting beaten by some leaves. I look like a ball sack. What? Guys. Guys. Guys, what I'm trying to say is if you're out there in the sun, don't be squinting your eyes and getting them crow's feet. You need a pair of glasses.

You need a pair of sunglasses specifically, and Blenders has your back. I'm just saying Chase Fisher started Blenders by selling his shades out of a backpack while doubling as a surf instructor in Pacific Beach. His goal was to create adventurous mid-price eyewear options with the same cool factors the other leading brands. Success is upon you, Chase Fisher. Unlike expensive big brand shades that you probably lost or smashed in the past, blenders are actually affordable.

So you're not going to cry as much when the inevitable happens. You just run it back with another pair of blenders. Blenders team of in-house designers are constantly coming out with new styles. Akash, what you like, bro? Son, buttery bros. Woo!

The buttery bros. Them sci-fis, bro. Ooh. Them sci-fis, bro. Way to go. Oh, my God. Walk down the pier with those, dude. Right?

Anyway, my point is, obviously, you guys want these sunglasses. So if you want them, I think, Mark, the best I could do is 15%, bro. Come on. You think I should do less? Come on, give them 7% off. 15 is a lot, yo. Give them 7% off. No, they deserve 15%, Mark.

I don't know, 15 is a lot. It's very generous. That's the best I could do, and I'm going to give them the best. It's bad business, bro. I'm doing it. I don't care what the fuck you say. I don't care what the fuck you say. I'm giving 15.

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All you have to do is click apply coupons. Wait for a few seconds as honey searches through the coupons. It can find for that site. If honey finds a working coupon, bang. Okay. Price is dropping like your mom's panties. If you don't already have honey, you could be straight up missing out. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a side and you support us i've never recommended something that is this great to be honest with you i mean this is unbelievable there's no money to save money is get get honey for free at join honey.com slash flagrant that's join honey.com slash flagrant now let's get back to the show what is success for you with this special oh good oh fuck good question uh i don't know you know for me put it on youtube which was against when you talk about listening people you know i have suits that work for me

agents the managers clearly they wanted to go with a major network which i think was a mistake which i learned from the showtime because when you do that you're compared to the other guys on that network and so the networks that made offers i went i've been down that road man i'm not like those guys my journey is different but also i you know i'm not like you or akash where you guys are putting material out all the fucking time the only material on me is from this is not happening on economy central which was i filmed six years ago when i was a year into stand-up so that's the only material so i need this where people can see it so they can see how hard i'm working how much better i've gotten at stand-up so it's like to me that youtube made all the sense in the world

because i can control it i can put out clips that i want but you know the whole marketing behind it i can do everything and i enjoy doing that and i also have the team who can pull it off shot by me shot by the thick boy crew the staff edited the music from little brows who i found you so it's it just made sense yeah so to me i just want content out that everybody can see i mean why not just put out clips uh you could have you could have i have so many clips like you know we shot an hour we're really sturdy so i have so many clips in the chamber ready to go yeah yeah that's what i would have told you to do because it's going to exist in clips no matter what so we put out that material which i want to get rid of yeah right so want to put that out and

then the clip we cut up in the clips too which will be rolling right so you know you both and those are going to create more portals for people to see what you're doing correct you know what i mean yeah and it just allows i think where i'm at it's it's the move man you know it's the move it makes sense for so many reasons yeah yeah yeah but as far as success i don't know i don't know what's interesting about youtube is there like a number that makes you go yo this is this is what i want i'd be if it hits a million i'll feel like the success yeah anything on a million i'm like all right we got work to do you know but again i i don't know i think that's the pros and cons of going on youtube is there there's a numerical value of how many people fucked with you yeah the very clear how

many people fucked with you yeah netflix company central amazon hulu all that all those other hbo showtime i have no idea i have no they're not going to tell you right showtime i knew because they i have a really good friend who deals with so i knew how well it was doing and they did a promo code to see who would sign up so So I knew how well that did, but this is very black and white. Yeah. You'll know. Yeah. You get to actually see the views.

Um, and then also the feedback. Yeah. Yeah. Complete one 80 from showtime, but you don't want to look at the feedback, but I don't look at the feedback, but I get it from my team.

Ah, gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Uh, well listen, before you leave, we have to do,

what did I tell you about the showtime thing? Yeah. What was their feedback I was like bruh the fuck did you hire me two months ago I told you put this shit in the trash

this is a firestorm man dude I don't want to work here I'm like no I got the feedback was they gave me their two weeks

yeah what do you mean how's it going hey man I won't put my two weeks in now oh what the fuck at the time i didn't have a team i was solo dolo yeah i didn't have a feature man have you gone back and watched the first special like all the way through no i hate watching myself you know what i'm all set Hey I'm all set You know That is fucked up

Unless my therapist is like why don't we sit down and watch this Together We'll sit and watch this together And see how you fucked up I want you to mark this moment Yeah no We do something on this show called feelings no facts Feelings no facts feelings no facts okay and i haven't heard you guys do that but this is you know i'm busy like

you guys are so i listen to a few podcasts this is one of the only shows i listen to religiously every this one the one only shows yeah well every episode. I think you're fucking brilliant. Oh, I appreciate that, man. Thank you. Can we do some- You guys are fucking losers. You guys are fucking nerds. Can we do some feelings and facts while we have Brendan in the building, please? Yeah.

So Mark will bring up some stories and then we basically do feelings and facts. Let's do it. But I also said this. I said this at the wedding. I think you're the secret sauce of the show because I did flagrant and you came to sick boy and did it, but you weren't there. You weren't there. And you were there. The whole thing fell apart.

It's your success. You're the secret sauce. Is there a part of you where you're not involved? Do you hope it bombs? Because this is the first time ever I've dude, I've never missed a podcast in 10 years ever, ever. Never missed. But it's the first time I'm missing king singing the wing to fire the kids the shop show food truck diaries i'm missing all of it wait are people filling in for you the people are filling on firing the kid

and king of the sting in the wing and then on the fight companion calabasas fight campaign on saturday yeah i have rashad evans rampage jackson matt matt matreon doing it i won't be there's somebody else hosting it no that's gonna be fun yeah but i but i do hope when brian's on his own it eats all the dicks so they realize so they realize that i'm the secret sauce i hope king the singing the wing eats shit as well i hope chris and theo go fuck dude brennan's really important because when they have to do all the reads and i'm not there to do all the fucking reads yeah i just hope they realize yeah what's up now dude yeah that's what you bring now who sucks at england yeah the money maker the mule of the fucking show yo love you buddy yo you know who could be a good fill-in is Trash Tuesday, if you want to get them on a podcast.

They could have some. What's with the Trash Tuesday beef? When are we going to settle the Trash Tuesday beef? It's settled as far as, you know. Did you try to wog any letterman to your truck? No, that doesn't make sense. No, no. It doesn't make sense.

No. Okay, so then follow up. Why does it not make sense. No. It doesn't make sense. No. Okay, so then follow up. Why does it not make sense? Why does that make sense? It's her perspective. Perspective. For it to get back to me, it has to get out of control. I have nothing but love for her.

Really? I have no idea what her issue is or anything like that. That's fine. That's her narrative and that's how she feels. good i get it yeah yeah as far as kalilah goes you know me and her had a long conversation on the phone we're good man yeah no one's suing anybody again these narratives online you know it's it's a it's a you know it's like a fucking soap show they want this drama there's no drama like bobby lee is one of my closest friends i mean bobby talk a lot no one's been more supportive

when i started than bobby lee dude really besides rogan and cal and delete like nobody's been more supportive so when it comes to kalilah you know i and i didn't have her number bobby i go look give me send me your girl's number so i called her and we just had a conversation you know for for over an hour me and her are good man I dude when you talk about the secret sauce Kalilah is the secret sauce of tiger belly of the trash Tuesday she's such a smart fucking girl no issues as far as suing goes I think it's a miscommunication did you see the clip that they put out it looked like they were very angry yeah again if if and i told her always come to me yeah if that if you want to know come to me don't and they they said that you had like some dirt on her or something like that i have no dirt i don't know so we don't know each other that way they're making this up or what yeah but when it

comes to kalilah it's like i don't know again i don't i don't subscribe to social media so if she's getting that news yeah and she subscribes to it i would be upset too and that's why i told her see i'm like i get it so me and her straight up had a conversation and that's how that's how adults do it but see this is the problem with you being like so detached from anything that happens online is you don't get to correct narratives about you in real time like you know this is probably the first time you've ever addressed what they said well who but who else is gonna you have 14 different platforms you could just go and be like yo that's wild that's not true i'm not saying anything there's no lawsuit i called her up

and squashed everything's good instead of they put it out there and then never address what is out there and now everybody just believes what has been said by them is real yeah you could do that or i can just call kalilah direct like i did no that then it's squashed between you two but the people that have seen it haven't seen it get squashed so they just believe that that thing that they've digested is still real sure and that comes with you know celebrity and all that shit so it's like with that like you know some stuff you don't have to tell the public you know i'm saying like i'm mean collider cool bobby's one of my closest friends man so it's like with that stuff and you got to realize when i was coming to comedy and again i get all of it when you have this do you drive a truck no have this. Do you drive a truck? No. Yeah.

You don't even drive a truck. What do you drive? Hold on. You don't even have a truck? No, here's. No, I have a Bronco that I got six, eight months ago. Bronco's a truck, dude. No, that's eight months ago.

That's eight months ago. So you didn't own a truck before then? No, I had a truck. No, hold up. I had a truck. I had a truck. Let's go. How late now? I have a truck

but did you park in the comedy store parking lot or did you have to walk to a different place I got rid of it after two weeks because you know I was at the comedy store so much the valet guys who has they've always been great to me if you know how the comedy store works unless you're past you can't

park in that lot I didn't know that but I would tip them like crazy even when i didn't know that but i would tip them like crazy that even when i didn't have money i'd always tip them but also any money i made from the comedy store the improv the laugh factory i always give to the door guys i never took see this guy's a great guy yeah you're a great guy dude yeah i guess so i'd always give them the money but they said that's a fucked up precedent to set though because if I go to the comedy store I ain't trying to tip y'all like that I'm nice but not that nice come on yo

it's against my ethnicity with the truck they're like bro we can't park this thing it's too fucking big and I couldn't park it in the streets of LA so I was like fuck this thing it was a raptor lifted like a monster truck in LA it didn't make sense so I had it for maybe two weeks.

So that truck was lit. Also, if you're going to make fun of the way I talk, bro, I say it in my special. It's not me. No, but I say it in my special. I love that line. Yeah, I say it. I don't even speak English.

Normally you learn Spanish. Yeah, I barely know English. I struggle with english yeah so yeah i'm not jordan peterson yeah i'm a far cry from it yeah and i know this i've i've had a speech impediment my entire life i have to work on it like when i would read teleprompters when i had that like legit tv show on showtime they had me read the teleprompter and i could see that and i wanted to be honest like hey dude we need to work on your the way you pronounce words but he was just like uh uh i think we should use this give you a special yeah i think we should give you a special i think we should give you a special

you stumbled across these words like it's a tough money there we go so they gave me a special no i uh which is hilarious. So I had to work on it, dude. I had to work on it. Really? For a guy with a speech impediment, and then also, I've had it since I was a kid, man. So if they're going to make fun of the way I talk, my entire business is based off talking.

I thought this was from being punched. Yeah, me too. I honestly had no clue that you had a speech impediment. My life would be easier if it was ct then i could chalk it up because you've told me about ct i don't have ct i told you you told you were worried about it of course i lost my keys the other day i was like here we go next time any letterman brings that up you gotta do the michael or ervin Next time Andy Letterman brings that up, you got to do the Michael Irvin.

What's that? You walk me in my truck. C.T.E. I don't call that at all. Dude, he was a tidal wave on me. It's one of the only episodes I couldn't get through. No, it gave me anxiety. Really?

Because he's just yelling. But he's one of my favorite people on the planet. Oh, dude, he's the best. So me and him know each other. And then i he was like a big ufc fan and then i was at a super bowl party deon sanders is there i'm with tim tebow dressed to the nines and he goes shop in front of all these people i'm like oh i say last dog what's up give me some street cred because i might as well been a fucking worm nobody said hi to me he'll shop in front of everybody. I'm like, what's up, bro? And I go to give him a high five like this.

He grabbed. I'm a grown man. I'm probably 32 years old. He grabs my head and kisses me on top of the head. Let's go. He's the best. He's the fucking best. No doubt, man.

I'm so jealous of you. Yeah, he's the best. You could probably fuck him up. I don't know. Michael Irvin? You don't think so? If it went to the ground. Yeah, I hope I could. I don't know, though. I hope I don't know michael irvin i don't think so i went to the ground dude yeah i hope i could i don't know though hope i don't have to my favorite line of his he goes you're not ever he goes not

only was i getting double team on the field i was getting double team in the hotel room yeah dude the white house bro yeah the best i love michael yeah michael irvin that was honestly i think one of our best episodes yeah so fun so fun. Go listen to that. Bro, you had Bill Gates at your fucking show. Yeah, that was kind of crazy. The lizard man himself. Yeah, that was kind of crazy. He's just a fan? Came to the show?

I assume that his kid is a fan. And he was there with his kid. And she's also in the Illuminati now. I'm also in the Illuminati, yeah. That makes sense. It's a different group. You know what I'm saying? So if you need anything handled, I got you.

I'll take it. I could use some help. Dude, Alex Jones was in the green room. I mean, Rogan did shows. Did you talk to him about the whole thing? He just got, I think, filed for bankruptcy? Yeah. It did seem that way.

He was like, I'm crushing. He was like, the media says this, but he's like, business is never going to be bigger. Fake news. Yeah, he was like, fake news. And he's just a tidal wave of energy. Oh, he's the most entertaining human bigger yeah he's like fake news and he's just he's a tidal wave oh he's the most entertaining human being you'll ever meet in your life through the roof it is unbelievable and i have like vaccine jokes and mandates about california compared to texas he's like i love that the vaccine but you hit him hard i'm like all right

man take it easy dude take it easy he's just he's, and then also he could be the president of thick boy club. I was like, dude, your arms are how big? Yeah. He's a tanker. Yeah. He built like a baby rhino. Just fucking tan, thick rhino. I am worried about his long-term health.

Yeah, for sure. Oh, his cholesterol is through the roof. Yeah. I saw him eat a whole onion. Stem and everything. Wait, cooked? Nope. Raw onion, whole onion. Stem and everything. Wait, cooked? Nope. Raw onion, white onion.

Lizard. Cut into... Come on, bro. Come on, bro. Chopped vegetables? Come on, bro. Is Alex Jones a lizard, bro, based on diet alone? He doesn't look like a lizard.

It was unbelievable. Whole onion cut in half. Looks more like a toad am i right yo uh infamous tour last two shows the final two vancouver uh may 6 absolutely crazy that we are finishing this tour that we've been doing uh for years and um truly unreal thank you so much for everybody who's come out um i'll be honest i don't know if there's any tickets left for those shows but you go check at theandrewschultz.com uh but yeah man i'm just super super grateful for everybody uh akash's store is still crushing it right now man it's amazing to see what

akash has been doing uh he's gonna be in tacoma washington may 12th through the 14th, Tacoma Comedy Club. He's going to be in Holland, Michigan. Is that Michigan? Am I? Yeah. Mississippi? No, that's MS. Oh. Oh, damn.

All right. He's going to be in Holland, Michigan at the Park Theater on May 19th. He's going to be in Muskegon, Michigan on May 20th at the Back Alley Comedy Club. On May 21st, he's's gonna be in grand rapids gun rule in uh grand rapids michigan thank you i appreciate you covering got you son yo go to akash singh.com get the rest of the guys ron burgundy bro he's about to read that whole shit yeah it's more words i keep reading bro website is fire all right um anything else you want to tell them uh first of all thank you to

everybody who came out in bridgeport i told them that shit yeah yeah you know it's fire though we had people come multiple nights and then one guy came three nights oh my god which is so cool because if you came twice and felt like it was different enough to come the third time that's that's what i want i want you to be able to come to multiple shows and still feel like it's different enough so thank you to everybody who came out get tickets for the rest of the shows at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. Thank you, Andrew. Love you.

Dude, I used to work for Bravo and I used to have homework. What'd you do? I did a show with like Kelly Ripa and what's the, Andy Cohen and some other guys on there. And we used to have to talk about like their shows. So I was like Real Housewives of Orange County expert. This is so gay. I was the Real Housewives of orange county expert this is so gay i was the real housewives of orange county expert but they have like nine or ten other fucking spinoffs like real housewives of fucking you know new jersey new york atlanta spokane oklahoma yeah i used to have to watch

all that shit yeah and then you'd have to come on there and try and be funny and like give them the shit and it was exhausting when was this shit man six years ago probably i used to for and then i worked for e i used to host the oscars like do all the red carpet for the oscars the grammys yeah man really and i got fired because little uzi vert walked by and i made fun of his outfit like lit him up and everyone was laughing the producer's like uh-uh dude because he wouldn't do the interview he's like nah fuck that guy i was like okay and then like oh you're fired so yeah with all those jobs he might be mexican yeah

personal stylist you did oh dude sick and because i'm so big that the custom make it oh wow that's it that vest right there is is interesting i look like a blackjack i'm a blackjack dealer yeah you are dude shop biceps and forearms looking diesel though what's up dog so shop um yeah what else you got buddy i'm just curious like what is what is next for you keep grinding man i uh you know i'm on tour this weekend in charlotte and then in two weeks i think i'm in philly so it's like just back to the grind are you doing a whole new hour new material of course i you know i subscribe and the way i came up through the guys who i've mentioned before is like yeah once that specials out you can't touch that material yeah so yeah so it's all new shit yeah the trash panda tour let me just launch a bunch of other dates right so it's back to the

grind man then also thick boy studios like you know heavy lies the crown man the thing's a beast yeah the thing's a beast you got you know i'm like in charge of people i had to fire somebody the other day oh really that's all they do what they do he's just not gonna he's just vaping the corner so it's in charge of social media just vaping the corner and chilling yeah you know so it's well what do you want him doing working i feel like you could do social media and vape yeah you would think wallah does 90 of the time he's here yeah some people they're not as talented as you're done he's either vaping or he's working but not both look at him vaping and working which guy which guy yeah i'm gonna say you don't know no he's new no okay the little one kyle yeah i love him he's the best he moved

from kentucky like he's the best oh he's really stepped his game up now you got mike who's like the head of i stole him from a movie uh studio and he's the head of thick boy like he's a beast man so what do you want to do with thick boy uh just create shows and give guys a platform like you know chapelle lacey has his own show on there love chapelle's world that was great that was the best chapelle's leaving fire the kid what really why because i'm out of town but this is his last week i'm firing the kid the monday i get back may 9th he's not on anymore why he just felt like it's ran its course and he was like it's yours and brian's showman like i filled in because brian couldn't do it so but now brian's back he's

again you and brian have this relationship where i can feel the chemistry and it's such a fun show but i'm just on the side dude like i'm trying to insert myself but it's just not you guys have your black belt in podcasts i'm still a white belt man he's like i'm trying to get in there it's just not a fit he's like so i want to focus on my own stuff i was like dude whatever you want to do man so he has his own studio and thick boy and he's gonna focus on his show okay so i think what you know i don't know. So he has his own studio in Thickboy, and he's going to focus on his show. Okay. So Thickboy, I don't know. I just like making my own shit. Yeah.

Yeah. That's dope. That's fucking dope. I still need to see Cat's feet, but. I'll keep the Jordan 1 unions and give you a subscription to Cat's OnlyFans. I mean, I guess I'll do that. Oh, those Jordan 1 unions? It's a good look. I'll sell I guess I'll do that. Al, does Jordan want unions? It's a good look.

I'll sell them to you for $1,000. You son of a bitch. I'll sell them to you for $1,000. You know, hard does work with fucking the bad guy, though, right? You're a bad guy. No, listen, what I'm trying to do right now is I'm trying to set a precedent for what the gift Dove needs to give me is.

Because you gave me a very thoughtful gift, which is a very cool pair of sneakers. Objectively, they're cool. Objectively, they're cool. Someone say the coolest. I mean, now it's not a Daytona Rolex. I don't like the stitching. That's what fucked everybody in this room.

Rogan, who's fucking Oprah for guys, goes, here's a fucking Daytona Rolex. Here's a Daytona Rolex. So it's like, all right, dude. Here's a fucking pair of sneakers. Look under your seat. Here's a career. There's a career.a rolex so it's like all right dude here's a fucking pair of sneakers look under your seat here's a career there's a career you get a career you get a career you don't the one guy that needs to give me nothing he's the best he's the best he's the best but this guy thinks that just because he officiated the wedding just because he officiated the wedding oh my god

the highlight of that was charlemagne, though, yeah? Oh, but. Oh, yeah. You offloaded your officiating. It was half and half. Dub, who picked Charlemagne to do it? Nobody knew. Well.

That was a surprise. I think it was Hall. It was maybe my friend. It might be the years of relationship. It's like you booked him. Oh, I booked him. I produced him. And I timed it.

And I did all the things. And you wrote it? His thing? Yeah. I know.. And I timed it. And I did all the things. And you wrote it? His thing? Yeah. I know. You did a great job officiating the wedding, but that's not a gift. Yo, but we can't even compliment him for it anymore because he believes that it was like worth something.

Yo, you know what? It was worth friendship and love. Yo, you know what? And he believes it's worth a value, like a dollar value. Rogan didn't get your wife a gift. He don't need to fucked up he got my wife the gift of me being happy what a terrible taking down rogan what a terrible take what a terrible take we have those diet cokes though what a terrible dude diet coke is my fucking

oh it's crack lord and savior dude i'm like donald trump i will drink 15 of them did you bring oh but not in the bottle no i want in a can or can can can but i asked for cans on ice get it on ice it's all right i mean you got the you got the plastic bottle version of the diet cubs you know i'm doing 97 000 things so i said hey hey don't let them hate on you for this don't let them hate on you for this let them hate on you exclusively from no wedding gift yeah i think i'm a fair guy plastic you want me to get cancer okay that's fine okay wouldn't care um shop listen honestly you can all go down and rogan you're going down too i'm being objective here his girl again dove wants all the he wants all the smoke uh i'm telling i'm telling i'm telling todd feldman man i'm telling todd and you know todd todd's my guy man i love todd okay

before we get out of here yes sir tell them anything that you need to tell them we have gringo poppy right now thick boy biggest special the the entire reason i'm came to new york and took time away from my kids is uh yeah the specials on youtube right now thick boy youtube it's uh the gringo poppy and it was created shot edited the music everything is all under the thick boy banner we did it all ourselves so hopefully you guys enjoy it man and then a lot of work went into it and continue following uh shob's journey man i think you have a very interesting journey and i think that it's cool that you're being so transparent with it and uh yeah a lot of people rock with it and i think that you're a genuinely

good guy in this business and it is rare yeah to find good guys in this business agree so you keep doing that and don't let uh don't let negativity change you from into a person that you're not no never brother okay never that never that man but i'll be in charlotte this weekend then philly good but i believe that correcting false narratives is important sure and i believe that you should use either your platform other people's platform to do that and i hope you got a little bit more clarity here no you know i trust you 100 both you guys i love both you man love you thank you man okay my man b my man Brandon show up Gringo Poppy go check it out thank you so much for coming

let's go walk him to his truck right now let's jump in the truck peace