Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Joe Rogan Gets High & Flagrant

Episode Date: June 7, 2022

Joe Rogan came to the new set to get Schulz & Akaash TOO HIGH... this is a wild one, so light up, strap in, and let's get paranoid 👽 TIME CODES 00:00 - Intro 1:40 - Joe Rogan Roasts The New Studio 7:47 - Joe Rogan On Wolf Evolution 13:40 - Joe Rogan on Kristen Beck & Trans Women 15:45 - Schulz & Akaash Get HIGH 28:20 - Rogan Reacts: Johnny Depp & Amber Heard VERDICT 49:12 - Why Are Powerful Children So EVIL? 1:06:15 - Joe Is High and Scared of BEARS 1:27:42 - Who Is the Hottest Guy? 1:44:40 - Hunting Elk is Like stand-up?? 2:05:00 - Is Elon Musk Compromised By Aliens? 2:19:00 - Conspiracy Corner With Joe Rogan 2:21:00 - Rogan Feels Bad About Carlos Mencia 2:43:00 - Rogan on Patrice O’Neal & Joey Diaz 3:08:52 - Rogan Has Dinner with Alien Expert Bob Lazar 3:20:00 - Wrap Up

That's why you need to have some of this. Get it. It's done after this. Yeah. I just want to let you know. I am not interested in being around grizzly bears. The bear caught up to the moose and broke its back. Just...

Bang! A fucking giant beast just running through the camp. It's literally like a machine that crushes moose bones. Okay. Okay. That polar bear smells that man's meat. It's literally like a machine that crushes moose bones. Okay. Pshhh. Pshhh. Pshhh. That polar bear smells that man's meat. Have you ever been to a furry convention?

Oh. What is that? You think, you think, you think you've been to Toppies? She got some crazy things, bro. What? Don't you do it. This is what it looks like when a man does not give a fuck. Don't shoot me even.

Real good at stomping. You gotta stomp the fucking shit. Oh my god. My most fun podcast ever. What's up everybody and welcome to Flagrant. First guest up, you know we had to start out with a banger. He is the only Joe that should be running this country. to start out with a banger.

He is the only Joe that should be running this country. He is a man with a leg kick so hard he could snap Lizzo's thigh. You've seen him on NBC. You've seen him on UFC. You've seen him on TRT. He is

the man, okay? Stone cold, stuck in Austin himself., is Joe Rogan, everybody! He's officially in the motherfucking building! Let's go. My brother. You guys have overcomplicated the podcast.

You had a good thing going on. What's up? You guys had a fucking normal, simple thing. You're like, no, no, we need wireless mics. We need introductions. We need 10 minutes of silence before we go so we can get dead air time. I walked out of the bathroom, and Joe's just going,

there's really no need for all this. Podcasting is better. It's better. You've overcomplicated things. You have. Yeah. We have. Well, everybody wanted to be on The Tonight Show,

so you made your own Tonight Show. Look at this. For you. You got fucking stage lighting and shit. It's hilarious. But you kind of did this. That's the thing. But I didn't do this.

He's just doing that so you don't think it's a bad idea anymore. Exactly. This is your fault. He doesn't mean that. He doesn't mean that. Joe, this is all you. What did I do? I didn't do any of this.

Yeah, you did nothing. You didn't do anything. You did absolutely nothing. No responsibility whatsoever. Joe, we have a little bit of a debate that needs to be settled. Oh. Because the last time we all hung out, Mark was with us after the fight. You remember we went to the fight?

In Phoenix. In Phoenix. And we sat down at a great steak restaurant. They didn't give a shit for this, first off. And you ordered fish or something? No. Well, we thought it could be worse. Okay, we're sitting down. You get the tomahawk. Yes.

Okay. Everybody else looks at the menu, and they look at the most expensive thing, and they go, I'll just do one below that, out of respect for Joe, who's going to pay for this dinner, as you always do. Oh, I see. What are you doing? Joe goes, it's sitting like this.

It goes Joe and then Mark. And then Joe goes, oh, the tomahawk. And then Mark doesn't even wait for the waiter to come over. He goes, double it up. What a bang. Double it up. It's a good move. I don't see where there's a problem.

Thank you. It's an expensive steak. Oh, you don't think Joe can do that? You don't think Joe's got a problem. Thank you. It's an expensive steak. Oh, you don't think Joe can do that? You don't think Joe's got it? We're having fun. Come on, bro. You can't think like that. You can't think like that.

You cannot think like that. And you've been hanging out with me too long. Yeah, I think that's a... Yeah, you can't. You said it super nasally right there. I think you're chewing it up for Joe. You should never think like that. It's just a restaurant.

You're not buying Ferraris. Yeah. You're going buying steaks for people? Who gives a fuck? You're supposed to drink, have fun, order wine. Have a good time. Now, Mark was a little disappointed that you didn't finish your steak.

I didn't say it like that. No, you did say it like that. I'm an objective guy, and right. I didn't say it like that. I didn't say it like that. No, you did say it like that. You did. I'm an objective guy, and you were like, I finished it. And I thought about finishing his. I didn't know it was a contest. I thought we were just having fun. I left a couple of pieces of meat.

You did bring it up. You were like, man, you know, I could do two of these easy. And I was like, all right, well, if you're going for it, I'm going to go for it. I did not say I could do two of these jokes. You fucking people have the weirdest things you focus on. What do you mean, you people? You. You guys.

This crew of people. You're focusing on how much a steak costs. And then how much did you eat? Did you eat it all? You didn't eat it all. I can't wait a month to talk about this. You? Did you eat it all? You didn't eat it all. I can't wait a month to talk about this. You didn't even eat it all. Oh, when it gets on, the first thing he's going to talk about is how much he ate a month ago.

What the fuck is wrong with you guys? You changed this into like a regular studio. You've abandoned all the rules of podcasting. That's right. We have. What are the rules of podcasting. That's right. We have. What are the rules of podcasting? There's no rules. You abandoned your studio too. There's no rule.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a great studio. We ordered all kinds of food that didn't get eaten. There was desserts and all kinds of shit was flowing around that table and lobsters.

Now, I'd be pissed if I paid for somebody's food and they didn't eat it. Well, you gotta let that go, bitch. There's things to be pissed at in the world. Nuclear war. Famine. Disease. They could eat them fucking lobsters y'all

left hanging out like assholes. But they can't because you kill it and you have to eat it within a certain amount of time or it's not good anymore. Let it go. We appreciate you so much for coming, Joe. My pleasure. Now, you're in for coming, Joe. My pleasure. Now, you're in town for a day. Yeah, I'm just in town for you, man. I'm supposed to be going to Atlantic City.

I brought cigars for everybody. I'm going to Atlantic City tomorrow. I'm doing Atlantic City with Hinchcliffe and Hans Kim and Joey Diaz. We're doing this new arena that they got down there. So that's Friday and Saturday. So I'm here on Thursday just for you, my friend. You're the fucking man. Thank you, man. Did you have to move the Lex combo?

Was he cool with that? Yes. He's a legend. Thank you very much, Lex, for doing that. I forgive you for being absolutely shit-faced at my wedding. As a plus one. He was shit-faced at your wedding, but he was way more shit-faced in the 12 hours I hung out with him after the wedding. You sent me a video of him just knocked out, dude, like a homeless guy. He was annihilated.

It was brutal. And then some weird gig that you guys were at. Yeah. It was like Whitney's corporate gig. Yeah. I can't believe you even went on. I'm good. Thank you.

Get the fuck out. All right. You get the same thing as the host. You know what I mean? Thank you so much. Okay, we got a cutter. I'm good, he says. I'd rather be straight edge and just be upset about food.

I just want to sit around here and complain about shit that means nothing. He's not even allowed to eat steak. What means anything, Joe? Cancel culture? Come on. Oh, that's right. Indian. Indian. Yeah, exactly. That's. Oh, that's right. Indian. Indian.

Yeah, exactly. That's a drag, dude. Just being Indian? That is a bullshit-ass rule. I ate steak before. I've eaten it. Oh. I don't miss it.

Sigh. He's trying to be cool. Let him try the cigar, bro. No, he's trying to put it in. I saw this. You don't miss it? I don't miss it. Let me get that shot.

I want to see our guys try that. How do you not miss it? I don't know. I don't miss it. I stopped eating it when I was like 12, and then I just never found myself. I would have like hamburgers and stuff on accident, and then my brother told me veal was deer, like an asshole. And I ate it, and I was like, this is not good. What is this?

It's mad fatty. I'm not into it. Wow. Is there any animal you won't kill? Yeah, I wouldn't want to eat a dog. Why not? Because they're cute. I like them.

They're fun. Giannis Pappas had this crazy explanation why we have this connection to dogs. They helped us develop our frontal cortex or something because they protected us in the night so we didn't have to stay up. So predators didn't devour us. There's an argument for that. I mean, we definitely turned them into dogs. It was basically the bitch-ass wolves. The bitch-ass wolves that didn't want to hunt and, you know, kind of like cowered and, you know, submitted themselves to us and we'd throw them food.

And then they would bark when other things come near. That's what happened. that was the process a chihuahua is a fucking wolf which is wild yeah it's like they started out as a wolf but through selective breeding they figured out a way to turn them into chihuahuas and why can they breed like with close family members well they can breed with dogs you know i mean no but you can breed the same family of family members? Well, they can breed with dogs, you know? I mean, it's the way people can. No, but you can breed the same family of dogs. Yeah, well, the same way people can.

You can fuck your sister and make a kid. But then it becomes retarded, right? Yeah, but it doesn't, you know. It becomes a chihuahua. It's not definitely. It doesn't definitely become retarded. It becomes retarded when there's a lot of inbreeding, right? But people have been inbreeding forever.

I mean, look at the English family, the English royal families. Yeah. I mean, you ever see those paintings of those old dudes like from back in the day on the walls no what you know oh my god they're like horrendous they're all they all have like distorted faces and shit because of inbreeding because they would only have sex with other royals they'd all like hit problems and shit and like their bodies were fucked up but it didn't affect their intellect in any way oh it definitely did yeah probably did yeah i'm sure how could they run countries? Because they were a monarchy. They were in charge already, just like Joe Biden.

I mean, you think about it. How could intellect, how could he run a country? It can't even fucking count, right? There's no idea what's going on. 100%. When he starts banging out numbers, I tense up. Whoa. Oh, I get excited.

It's my favorite thing. That's a perfect example of, like, if you just get into a position where you're already in power, people will protect you. They want to keep their jobs. They want to keep that form of power. Because their safety is dependent on your power. So they just keep you there kind of as a puppet. Yeah, and then they manipulate you. That was my theory about George Bush Jr.

Yeah. They just – they had him there and they're like, let's just – he'll let us run the country the way we want to. Well, look who he had for his fucking vice president. The CEO of Halliburton. Yeah. And they did the most transparent shit of all time. They gave Halliburton billions and billions of dollars in no bid contracts. No bid.

So no one, no one's competing. No one's going, I can do it for less. Right. And they did it for shit that they blew up. So they would blow things up and then they would hire Halliburton, his company. To rebuild it for less. Right. And they did it for shit that they blew up. So they would blow things up and then they would hire Halliburton, his company. To rebuild it, yeah, exactly.

And he had stock in Halliburton. So he was profiting off of the United States rebuilding shit that they blew up because of his decisions. Have you met with people that are in these positions of power now? No. Never?

I've avoided it. But they've tried to meet up? I've had some opportunities to meet some people that I don't want to meet. Yeah. I'm like, no thanks. How do you say no thanks to the people that do whatever they want? You just don't respond.

You ghost them. You ghost them. So the CIA is hitting you up and you're just leaving them on read, Joe? Come on. I think by this point in time, they probably don't want to have anything to do with me. But I think before, like, a lot of the controversy and the Spotify stuff, they were looking at the podcast as a way for people to get on there and have a chance to shape the narrative. You know, and I'm a friendly guy. I'm a nice guy.

I'm not trying to play gotcha with anybody. When people come on, if they say they don't want to talk about something, I say, no problem, no problem. I'm just interested in having a conversation. And so I think they would look at it as like a unique way to manipulate public information or public concepts on things. So they're doing that with you. They're definitely doing it on Facebook.

They're doing it through news. There's no question about it. They're doing it with everything. Everybody's compromised. Well, the problem is the people that are actually doing it are also aware of it and upset by it because it also affects them. So you've got people like Edward Snowden who get to a certain point in time and he goes, like, what the fuck are we doing? And then he goes public with this. And now he has to

ironically live in Russia and hide from the United States. But he's that kind of guy because he's an internet guy. When did you know you were big enough that people could use your platform to manipulate the masses? Was there a moment where you're like, somebody hit me up and you're like, oh, fuck, I'm big enough that I need to start being watchful or wary? I just take, it was like a slow burn. You know, over time I figured it out. Yeah. It wasn't like right in the beginning,

the early days, I'd have anybody on. Oh, Holocaust isn't real? Come on. Tell me more. Holocaust isn't real? Come on. Tell me more. After a while, people started getting mad. I was like, okay, I don't agree with them.

Jesus Christ, I have to have people on that I only agree with? This is going to get boring. Is that a thing you seek out? Like, I want people I know I'm going to disagree with, at least early on? You'd be like, well, that's the only way. It's fine it's fun no the only criteria is am i interested in talking to them so i get like hundreds of requests right they all come into the email and i looked at them and go where'd this guy go he walked across antarctica yeah i like that one i saw those i've had a couple of those i got another another guy coming on uh soon that's done some wild shit like that one. I saw that one. I've had a couple of those. I've got another guy coming on soon that's done some wild shit like that. It's just got to be interesting to me.

Like I had Kristen Beck on this week. She was a male Navy SEAL and then became transgender. Is this the one that Shapiro? Lady Valor. No, the one where he was threatening. She was threatening him. Grabbed Shapiro's neck. No, no, no.

And Shapiro goes, that's not very ladylike. I thought that was a pretty good line. No, he's hilarious. Ben Shapiro's a funny dude. This is Kristen Beck up there. So was a Navy SEAL and then decided to transition and become a woman. Okay. But just super honest and open and you know it's it's

so odd because used to be this badass dude with a beard and now she's got fake boobs and but looks like a man yeah like dresses like a man like i don't think is like really trying hard right to look like a woman just looking like herself does she talk about that yeah she i mean she doesn't try to hide her voice or anything. She's not like, what's the chick from Theranos? Elizabeth Holmes. She's my favorite.

She has an amazing voice. She's so amazing. Yeah, that's... So you spoke to her already? Yeah, I had her on the podcast this week. She grew up in a small town in Texas and always felt wrong. Always felt like she was in the wrong this week. She grew up in a small town in Texas and always felt wrong. Always felt like she was in the wrong body.

Always felt fucked up. There was no manipulation. No one was grooming her. It was 100% just how she felt. And it's interesting because you've got to realize, man, everybody is different. There's a spectrum. This motherfucker doesn't even eat meat. I'm basically trans yeah, basically

at least Kristen Beck eats meat yeah so we had Derek Poston's favorite porn star Daisy Taylor, right? that was the first time I had extended conversation with a trans woman and by the end of the podcast, not even by the end

but I was like, no, no, this girl is a girl. Yeah. We had her boyfriend on who said that he had done gay shit before, and he's like, but when I'm with her, it doesn't feel gay. Now, if you've done the gay shit,

you know. Yeah. No one knows better than him. How am I supposed to disagree? No one knows better than him. Exactly. No one knows better than him. I'm down for people to do whatever the fuck they want.

That's why you need to have some of this. What is that? That's marijuana. Okay. When Schultz smokes. Have you ever been around and you smoked? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't fuck this up.

Do it. Do it. Take a hit. Take a hit. The whole podcast is... Yeah, it's about to go downhill, but it's fine. That's a real blunt. That's the real shit.

That stuff is nuclear. You're going to have to take the reins after he does one of these. Woo! Let's go. Last time we smoked we were in Vancouver and he just took a lamp. Where's the ice?

Let's go, boys. Let's go. Come on. Remember when you just took the lady in the green? Let's go. Let's go. How come there's only

three glasses? Who doesn't drink? No, he really can't drink. Son of a bitch. You want one? You got one? Why isn't he out to drink? Because I don't. No, he really can't drink. Oh, you son of a bitch. You want one? You got one? Oh, no. Why isn't he out to drink?

Here, here, here. Drinks. Drinks around. All right, we got single malt whiskey right there, and we got tequila in front of you. Okay, where's the whiskey? Right there. Al, you want to throw me an ice cube? Sure, sir.

We're not doing this. You can grab it. Strong-ass hands an ice cube? Sure, sir. We're not doing this. You grabbed. Strong-ass hands. Oh, thank you, sir. We're not doing the first podcast in the new studio sober. Thank you. That's fine. When's Alex Jones coming on?

When he doesn't go to jail. I don't think that's an option. I don't think the jail's a possibility. Really? I think it's just money. Yeah, it's mostly money. Wait, really? Get in there, baby.

Get in there. Oh, here we go, Sean. Deep. It's done after this. I just want to let just money. Yeah, it's mostly money. Wait, really? Get in there, baby. Get in there. Oh, here we go. It's done after this. I just want to let you know. Okay, okay. Oh, no. You can do one more. I just want to let you know, and it's fine.

You're already high. Look at his eyes. It will hit, and you'll just know, and it is what it is. I know already. Yeah, we're going to know. I like watching you get peer pressure. This is awesome. Yeah, I know.

Okay. Oh, gosh. I've never smoked weed in my life. Who could peer pressure you? How will this treat me? Do it. Oh, you're gonna be perfect. It's gonna be amazing for you.

You don't have to drive, right? No. Think about it. All right. I feel like I'm being pressured a bit in here. It's fine, everything's fine. Do it, do it. I'm totally pressuring you.

If I smoke weed, it would be with you all. I'm 100% pressuring you. Okay, there you go. I take full responsibility. How deep do I, all right. Take a big hit. Oh, he's gonna cough. Get him you. I'll take full responsibility. How deep do I... Take a big hit. I got asthma. Take a real hit.

You're going to see Krishna soon. You probably have asthma because you don't eat meat. That's not a hit. That wasn't a hit. That was some real pussy ass shit. He's eating beef tonight. Munchies going to kick it. That was a hit.

Maybe. You got to run that back a little we'll save about 20 minutes or just oh that's a good one that's it oh whatever bro who cares

people that care about what people eat don't care about how people smoke I gotta the rules are different here in New York come on

okay Joe before I get too high we have a we have a weightlifting question for you okay The rules are different here in New York. Okay, Joe. Before I get too high, we have a weightlifting question for you. Al is incredibly diesel with his arms. Actually, he has to not lift weights or else they'll get bigger. He has to actually not lift weights.

But his legs will not grow at all. What do you do to try to make them grow? Squats, deadlifts. Really? They won't grow at all? Consistently works out. And the arms doesn't touch.

Well, look at Jon Jones. Jon Jones is a great example. Jon Jones is one of those. Al's not like that at all with him. Al is like an amazing guy to his girl and everything. I meant about his athleticism. John has tiny calves. They're tiny.

They're like almost non-existent. It's the craziest thing. And he works out fucking hard. Nobody works out harder than John Jones. Just power lifting, dead lifting, squats. Calves are still tiny. Tiny. Like tiny calves.

Like it makes no sense. Look how little his calves are. Like you can see there. They're so small. And he's got like literally the perfect frame for fighting. Because he only has muscle where he needs it. He's got shoulders. He's got arms.

He's got thighs. He doesn't need his calves. He's so long. It's like he's designed in a lab. Like if you wanted to design a perfect physique for fighting, I think it's Jon Jones. And he's a in a lab like if you wanted to design a perfect like physique for fighting i think it's john jones and he's a master at distance he's the best at using this gift that he has which is being very tall for the weight class is incredible like for keeping a guy away from you you think if he fought in gano he'd win you never know you know i mean john jones is a tough guy to

bet against but he's never really fought a heavyweight. He's trained with heavyweights for sure. And now the distance is mitigated too. And Gano has the nuclear option on any person that lives. Any person that lives, if in Gano, if he catches you with one of those ones that he hit Rosenstreich with or that he knocked out Stipe with or the Alistair Overeem left hook. That Alistair Overeem one was one of the most disturbing punches I've ever seen a guy get hit with because he was off before he went to the ground.

He got shut off immediately and his head went almost all the way back. Slammed and then came back. And then he hit him with a hammer fist. His head went back while he was standing up. Pull that video up. Watch this. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Fuck me. Bro. Yeah. And that guy he did that to, that's Alistair Overeem. Yeah. Like, that's a big guy. Like, Alistair Overeem is the former K-1 Grand Prix champion. Alistair Overeem was the Strikeforce heavyweight champion.

Alistair Overeem is a fucking savage. Yeah. He's really good. So for Francis to do that to Alistair Overeem is a fucking savage. He's really good. So for Francis to do that to Alistair Overeem, I mean, Alistair Overeem is one of the most dedicated strikers. You want to see how good Alistair Overeem is? Pull up Alistair Overeem versus Brock Lesnar. Bro, this was back when they were... How did Shane do this?

How did Shane do this? They were doing a smell test back then for steroids that's all they did everybody passed it's so ridiculous when you look at brock lesnar and he's standing right next to like look at look at the two of them how the fuck did he pass anything they used to call him uberine back then because like he wasn't like a real person. He was, like, a comic book superhero. His physique was perfect. And his kickboxing skills, world class, dude.

I mean, K-1 Grand Prix champion. When they didn't test, or when they tested very lightly, Alistair was running the show. I would have loved to have seen what happened if they just, like,

was testing. We need to do our best. Everybody wants to do their best. Do any of the other organizations not test? The bare-knuckle shit, they're not testing, right? I don't know how they test. They test depending upon the commission. Like, some commissions are very strict.

Like, you can't pull any funny business in Nevada. Nevada's got a down pat. They're the best athletic commission. They do the most big-time fights. They have everything smooth and polished. But some commissions are wild. Like, Michael Bisping got passed multiple times with one eye. Like, how could they be doing a good job?

How is that possible? Who the fuck let him do that? I mean, all respect and props to michael bisping because yeah when people talk about toughness you toughness like to what extent what about a guy who loses an eye and then doesn't tell anybody because he wants to keep fighting and wins 10 fights plus the world title with one fucking eye yeah that's crazy i don't want to tell a guy you can't do that. I don't want you to do that,

but I don't want to tell a guy you can't do that. Why is it that when guys get knocked out, they get chinny? Well, Chuck Liddell told me that it's because your brain is trying to protect you because it knows you're too tough and you're going to take more shots.

It knows those shots are damaging you. So instead of letting you just be tough and take it, your brain, after you've been shut off a few times, just lets you go out quicker. And do they know the amount of times? I don't. No one knows because it varies. Some people, you could also catch someone at a point in their career where they've been concussed. And then maybe they've been concussed at the gym. And then they get knocked out one or two times that year, and it's a real problem. But then they take time off, and they come back, and they're good.

So it's like, is it that they're getting damaged a lot in training, too? Maybe they've lost a step. Are they coming into a fight damaged? Yeah. They lost a step? Are they coming into a fight damaged? Because sometimes guys come into fights, like, Schaub talked about that back when he was training with all those guys in Colorado.

Like, they would have some crazy-ass wars, and guys would get banged up really bad in the gym, and then they would fight, and they would already be kind of fucked. That's the football thing. Yeah. It's like those guys are getting concussed in practice, and they're putting them back out there. Schaub used to spar with Shane Carwin. Yeah.

Shane Carwin's fists are two of my fists. Yeah. I'm not exaggerating. He was a preposterous man, and Schaub used to spar that dude. Yeah. And Shane Carwin was probably the single biggest one-punch, other than Ngannou, striker ever in the UFC. Shane Carwin knocked a lot. Look at that with Shane Carwin.

That's a big boy. Dude, he was a house. He was the interim champion and he almost got Brock Lesnar. He had him fucked up in the first round and he was on top of him and beating the shit out of him but he gassed out. Alright guys, we're going to take a break for a second because

we got to be less high. Okay? And the way that you get less high but still get high at the same time is with diet smoke, okay? We should have taken some diet smoke today, matter of fact, because it can, you know, just give you that nice, beautiful buzz instead of what, I don't know what part of the episode this is on. But as it gets later, I'm way too high for the diet smoke, that's for sure. I wish I diet smoked it up, and then I would be perfect.

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Dye Smokes Delta-8 THC gummies are not for use or sale to people under the age of 21. Please use responsibly. All right, guys, let's get back to the show. You think that the UFC will start to get- I'm good. Bro, you look like canned ham. I'm good. I thought you were talking to me. No, I talked to you. I'm paranoid.

No, I'm out here. He said, let's get paranoid. Let's do it. That was the message. Let's get paranoid. You text me, like, I'm bringing weed and cigars. Let's get paranoid. I'm like, I don't have to fuck paranoid things, bro.

Don't call the cops on himself right now. Hey, bro, I'm looking up conspiracy shit. You're like part of conspiracies now, right? There's some conspiracies, I'm sure. Conspiracies, a lot of them are just made up shit, so I'm sure I'm in a few. Have you heard any about yourself?

No, I try not to listen to anything about me. It's just too dangerous. I don't want to get my feelings hurt. Do you still get hurt by anything? No, I mean, you would, I guess. You're a human. Yeah.

People say mean shit and you read it. You're like, oh, wow, is that really me? Yeah. You know, just like, it's this, you know, Louis C.K. said something interesting. He goes, it's just talk, right? Like, people always just talk, but it's written down. So it seems like it's something more because people could read it like oh because but people have always been doing that it's just talk but it's now everybody could read what people decide to talk about you're saying that

because it's recorded well because it's recorded and because of how you're doing it yeah you know like you just heard if it's just mad voices out there talking it's whatever it gets lost in the noise but if it's written and you read it talking, it's whatever, it gets lost in the noise. But if it's written and you read it, then it feels more official. It feels more weighty. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I think there's something about it being written down to this permanent thing.

It just feels more real. Yeah. You know? There's, yeah, Amber Heard started OnlyFans. Did you see that? Did you really? No. I would believe it.

He's starting a conspiracy right now. I wouldn't believe anything. This is my conspiracy. Do you believe anything? What do you think about the verdict? Well, I think it was probably good for all people who believe in the truth. The problem is there's this boys versus girls narrative that I think we all get into on these things. And there's a lot of guys who

wanted a guy to win one of these things, you know, but it's just not good to not be honest. And if you are doing that and you're doing it to try to hurt someone, like if you're purposely changing reality, you're lying about what happened just to try to hurt somebody, you're, you're doing a fucked up thing because you're pretending you're lying about what happened just to try to hurt somebody right you're you're doing a fucked up thing because you're pretending you're a victim and it's so it's not as simple as you're just lying you you're turning someone into a criminal you're pretending you're a victim and it's if if it's all not true if it's all not true it's a really bad thing yeah it's really bad it's all not true, it's a really bad thing. Yeah. It's really bad. It's just bad for all of us.

Yeah. So whether it's bad for – like someone said that the verdict is bad for women. I'm like, that's crazy. They're going to say that? That's crazy. It's just not good to do shit like that. Do you think it's all not true? And pretend some guy beat you up.

I don't know. I could – you know, you watch the trial and you form your own opinions unless you're there unless there's direct evidence and other than the evidence of like the conversations they had that they were both recording which is wild before you press record when you're arguing so wild now did they secretly record each other what your wife says twice did they secretly record each other? Yeah, why would you want to listen to what your wife says twice? Think about the torture. Did they secretly record each other? No, I think they both knew.

So they both knew. So they decided to have, like, a performance conversation. Because if you're recording it, you're recording it knowing someone else is going to listen. So that's not a real conversation. Like, you're putting on a show. Yes. It's like keeping up with the Kardashians knows the cameras are there. Yeah.

They know the cameras are there. Yeah. That's true. They're putting on a show. You need Kris Jenner on. Oh, I don't need that. Dude, yes. Why do you need that?

I would love that. It's so fascinating. There's a boundary. I just never met a demon before. Oh, my goodness. What? I said something wrong. You can't just call people demons, bro.

Yeah, bro. Why? Because I downgraded her from devil? Is that the issue? But isn't she just crafty? Yes. I think that's crafty. I don't know if crafty is a word you use.

Well, she's like made the most with whatever resources she had. She went for it. Daughter porn? I've seen the devil. Yeah, daughter porn. That's a it. Daughter porn? Yeah. Yeah, daughter porn. That's a resource. That's the crazy thing is if she— I'm trying to look at things with rose-colored glasses.

That's that Austin shit. There's so much defensiveness in this world right now. And there's so much like what we think of as like things that are completely out of our hands. Like when you think of things like the war with—the possible war with Ukraine. That's completely out of our hands. Like when you think of things like the war with the possible war with Ukraine, that's completely out of our hands. We're all just sitting here in this state of anxiety, right? Like what are we going to do? Like if Russia launches a nuke, if some wild shit happens,

if China invades Taiwan, what are we going to do? And so we're in this like perpetual state of never feeling like i'm just living life because i'm living life under this canopy of danger and doom and if it's not that's climate change yeah yeah if not if it's not that it's the new variants there's gonna be new variants coming in january get ready yeah it's like this constant, which is, we've got to be aware of things, but the problem with danger is when it gets in the zeitgeist like that, it takes a long time to clean that out. When I was a kid, the Cold War days were happening, and we were legitimately worried that at any day, Russia could nuke the United States. It came super close, right? Super close.

Well, it definitely did during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that was a little bit before my time. But not by much. I'm old as fuck. I'm 54. But they were worried all the time, man. They had stop, drop, and roll.

Or what did you do? Stop, drop, and cover or something like that? They had that stupid saying. Hide under desks. It wasn't stop, drop, and roll. That that. It had that stupid saying. It wasn't stop, drop and roll. That's if you're on fire. Something like that. When we were in high school, it was a legit fear.

When that Red Dawn movie came out, there was a legit fear that we were going to go to a nuclear war with Russia and we would all get wiped out. Everybody had this kind of anxiety about it. It stuck with you. And then when the Soviet Union fell, that all went away.

And for a brief moment of time, it felt relaxed. It really did. Yeah. It felt like we don't have to worry about nuclear war. We just have to worry about fucked up wars. We just have to worry about these hot wars where they're shooting tanks at each other in the desert. Yeah. As long as we don't have to worry about nuclear war.

Yeah. shooting tanks at each other in the desert yeah yeah long as we're not to worry about nuclear war you know so we like accepted a certain level of war and now the nuclear war part is back on the table and i think that's one of the things that it flavors all of our conversations whether we realize it or not because we're all under this like steady state of anxiety yes and then climate change and it's not saying don't do things about climate change. We should, but all this how dare you, all that. Why is that advantageous to keep us in a steady state of anxiety? It's not that it's advantageous. It's human nature to, like, seek that. It's human nature to try to find the danger. The problem is you're not supposed to know about danger with 7 billion people.

It's too many fucking people. You're supposed to know about danger with 7 billion people yeah it's too many fucking people yeah you're supposed to know about danger in your community yeah like you're supposed to have a small tribe of 150 or so people and you know about everything you can't eat and you know about all the people that are dangerous yeah it's like 70 people like the dunbar number i think it's 150 but it's actually tiered i didn't know it was tiered. The Dunbar's number is you get a certain amount of intimate, close friends that you know well. And then from there on, it's like you get 50 people who you know their name, but you don't know too much about them. And then there's another 100 people.

1,500 people you can recognize, 500 acquaintances, 150 meaningful contacts, 50 friends, 15 good friends. Yeah. Interesting. I would cut all of that by a third. Someone's got to get cut. Five people, loved ones. What if you know a lot of cool people? We know a lot of cool people.

Yeah. Someone's got to get cut. You got to get cut from my top 15. It's like a lot of the store in your mind. Everybody's like, bro, why am I not in your top nine? Remember that? Your friends want to be in your top nine? Remember that? Your friends would want to be in your top nine. Like, okay.

All right, man. This is so silly. It's your MySpace list. That's your Dunbar number, bro. That's the thing. It's like, I think we really are only designed to interact with a certain amount of people. I think that's why interaction on social media is so hostile. It's not normal.

You're not supposed to be interacting with that many people. It's like you've got data coming out. It's like too much. And I can't care about you. I just have too many people. I'm past that 1,500. So I don't give a fuck about it. Do our brains adapt though over time, you think? I think they do. I think our brains

are going to evolve. Eventually, whether it's through electronic intervention, which is the most likely scenario, that they put something in our brains. And it allows us to interface with each other in a different way. And Elon, the way Elon described it, he said you're going to be able to talk without words. There's Neuralink. Yeah, this is his version of it, but I'm sure there's multiple versions. Do you think we see that in our lifetime? Yes. Yes.

I think we see that way quicker than we think. I think how cell phones took over when cell phones went from being like, who has a cell phone? Look at Michael Douglas on the beach with that fucking print. Read is good, bitch. Remember those days? Yeah. How many assholes

Did that movie make That movie made So many righteous assholes Gordon Gist goes to jail At the end And no one Talks about that part Yeah

No one talks about that part Before that Before that He was Look at that phone On the beach bitch Making phone calls No cord

Out here In the sand Doesn't give a fuck Yeah Drinking margaritas is shaping world politics. You can't finish the movie. You cut it off right before the end. That's when it's good. It's like Scarface.

I'm sad when he dies. I wanted Tony Montana to live. I did! I wanted him to live. I should have never smoked that shit. I should have never fucking smoked that shit. I'm a hero. Be honest. I like it. I should have never fucking smoked that shit, boy. I like anti-heroes. Be honest. One to ten.

God damn. One to ten. Light it up again, Joe. Fuck it. Let's go. We're going for it. We're going for it. How are you there?

Let's go. I've been emasculated by a guy wearing a fanny pack right now. I don't know what to say. I'm too fucking high. I like how you went leather. I always wear this one. It's my nice one. I love that you wear a fanny pack.

Do you have different ones? Yeah, I got five of these fucking things. You got a sleep one. You got the workout one. I love that you wear face masks. Do you have different ones? Yeah, I have five of these fucking things. You got a sleep one, you got the workout one. No, no, but just the one I usually use. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Andrew has one of those, but he wears it around his shoulder, which I think is way gayer. Oh, yeah, that's worse. Well, it's just a cop-out. Yeah, right?

I don't have it. You're just afraid. My wife gave it to me. You're just afraid of this. You're afraid of this look. It's just too bald. Look at this. It's like a kilt.

This is what it looks like when a man does not give a fuck. Look at this. This is what it's supposed to look like. This is what you've been working for. This is better. It's better. I can keep stuff in there. It's better.

It's just better. What about pockets? Yeah, but they get in the way, dude. They dig into your legs. But what are you keeping? Not Alex's legs. We they dig into your legs but what do you keep in there weed look at Joe's legs he got his face

it's a little different he puts a quarter in there he's like god damn it I'm like the princess in the pee remember that story is that the dumbest fucking story of all time

with the beds yeah they found out she was a princess because they put a pee like 13 mattresses under and she couldn't sleep. She was in agony. Imagine, like she's a princess because her body is so weak that if you put a pea under her, she can't sleep. It was the inbreeding, dude.

Her body's just sinking in. I didn't say it because I'm hot. That's a good trait. But imagine that that's supposed to be a good trait. Yeah. That's how you can tell she's a that's supposed to be a good trait. Yeah. What? That's how you can tell she's a princess. She can't even sleep with a P under there.

She's so delicate. Delicate. That a P fucked her up. Yeah. And that's supposed to be amazing. Like, what are you talking about? That's like the more fat and pale you were back in the day, like the more high in society you were. Food, man.

If you could afford gluttony in the face of abject poverty all around you. People are literally starving to death. And you're a slob. And you're sleeping on food. You're a slob. Just filled gut with wine and beer. That was the first Gordon Gekko. That was it.

That was just a guy that was super fat in the 1700s. Greed is good. Everybody's like, we could just get a few crumbs. Just get a few crumbs. Why did we do this, bro? This guy's high already, dude. Wait a minute. Light it again.

You got to let it go. Light it again. You got to let it go. Light it again. Just accept it. Accept that this is what's happened. You've gotten high in front of the whole world. It's Tai Chi, bro. You just move it.

Yeah, he knows what the fuck is up. Come on. I googled that right before. I've never seen you high before. How are you not high? I don't know. Because he faked it. I didn't fake it.

You didn't inhale it, right? Joe accepted it. He might have faked it. It was an acceptable puff to do. I have to take it on the honor system. Depends on how much went in. Some came out. Some I don't know it. Joe accepted it. It was an acceptable puff to do. I have to take it on the honor system. Depends on how much went in. Some came out. I don't know what I'm doing. I think it was one of these.

Did you guys get fucked up at all from the week? A little bit. I feel a tad slow. But not like this guy. I'm not slow. I'm chilling. It's not that it's slow. People look at it the wrong way. What is it?

It just removes a layer of protection. I feel between you and the known universe. Yeah. I don't feel like that. I feel more like I would like the layer back. You'll get it back eventually. I enjoyed that protection that I had. You'll get it back. You're going to get the layer back. You'll get it back eventually. I enjoyed that protection that I had.

You'll get it back. You know what I mean? You're going to get the layer back. How fire is that couch though? It's nice. That couch, right though? It's very nice. It's a nice couch.

It looks good. I like couches. It does make you more comfortable than like an office chair. Right though. Making me rethink my situation. He likes wireless mics. See what I'm saying?

Wireless mics, you get to move around, do act outs. It's definitely better for talking shit. I love out. It's definitely better for talking shit. I love that. This is definitely better for talking shit. That's it. We're just here to talk shit.

But I wonder if a couch would be the way you'd want to interview a scientist, though. No, but a guy who's just got tits. A guy who's now a woman, a female woman with huge tits. Yes. That's how I would like to interview them. Well, I bet she'd probably do your show. Say again? I bet she would probably do your show.

Can you get me the North Korean? Oh, my gosh. Well, she has a name. Oh, my gosh. You want to make me pronounce the name, bro? Come on, dude. I don't think she's the North Korean. I think they're the North Korean.

Yeah, I was talking about Kim. Oh, you were talking about Kim? Yeah, my boy Kim. No, is there, do you think that she would ever come on? We could reach out. Yeonmi.

Yeonmi Park. Yeonmi Park. Her story is crazy, man. Yeah. What else is crazy about her? Her story is so crazy. What else is crazy, bro?

She got some crazy things, bro. What? Don't you do it. You're being bad. No, Joe, come on. Stop acting like you got a fanny pack on. We have to go. things, bro. What? Don't you do it. You're being bad. Come on, stop acting like you got a fanny pack on. We just trying to talk about the heavies, bro. The heavies.

The heavies, bro. We send each other memes. He'll send me pictures of a dude squatting. And I know exactly what he's talking about. The heavies. The super heavies, bro. No, she got some, bro. That's how they make them out there. That was the majority of our interaction on text messages for a solid four or five days.

Andrew just texted me the heavies. Dying. Yo, me park out to dinner. Me too. Oh, my God. What, Al? Listen, your boy getting a little saucy. And it is what it is.

You know? Ask your cigar, dog. What? That's that little foreskin, dog. Let me get my foreskin. What do you think about circumcising women? Why? I might have made a mistake, ladies and gentlemen.

I take full responsibility for whatever happens here. It's clearly my fault. Why'd you get them high? Because I wanted to see. You gotta experience it, bro. Someone pull my pants down. These pants are getting crazy

right now. You know what I'm saying, Joe? You know what I'm saying? I do, my friend. I'm really happy for you. And I want to tell you one thing that I love about what you do. Is you find your own ways through things. You know, you find your own ways through things.

And I was talking about you the other day in the green room at the Vulcan in Austin. I said, think about it. Like, you can't even say, turn your phone sideways. That's Schultz's shit. You can't say that anymore. I agree. No one else can say that. You can't. You figured out how to own, turn your phone sideways. I've stolen a lot of stuff from this guy. We did it. We did it. But that's a weird one. That's a weird one. I can't steal that one. I tried. It's like, wow, how did he? And then you figured out how to do that and make these cinematic comedic pieces while the world was falling apart. When no one was doing anything.

Yeah. You put your shit all out on YouTube, blows up, and then you put together this place. It's as cool as fuck. We did. We did. All these guys played. Yeah, I know. No, no, no.

I know. I know there's other people involved. I'm just trying to tell you. Well, thank you, man. That means a lot, bro. what you're doing is awesome what you're doing gives me hope because you're doing exactly what with the cameras are off what you do when the cameras are on the way we talk shit when the cameras are off is the way we talk shit when the cameras are on you're a real dude and it's it's so important for people like that and akash i really wish you would go back

to eating meat thank you yeah bro get back on dog you're awesome too both you guys and the the you know the fact that you you've carved your own show you got your own vibe to your show you know it's like your show is a fun silly hang you know but you could talk about serious shit, too. Like you can flow back and forth between serious shit and complete preposterous conversations. The only way is fun. It's so fun. We're so lucky that we get to do this. Don't you wish some of them scientists you were talking to had a fucking joke in their body?

No. Sometimes, be honest. But sometimes I want to talk to them, too. You know, I mean, even if they're dry, like I want want to extract, like, what, you need a person who thinks like that. Yeah, yeah. That's what's fascinating to me, because I'm so dumb. Yo, this is the biggest cap in the world, bro. You telling people you're dumb is bullshit.

No, no, no, I'm dumb compared to these people. Joe, Joe. No, no, listen to me, listen to me. They're good at one thing. Do you know how to play pool? Yes. Okay, me too, but I suck. I'm one of the best pool players ever. Let me tell you something. I know how to play me, listen to me. They're good at one thing. Do you know how to play pool? Yes. Okay, me too, but I suck. I'm one of the best pool players ever.

Let me tell you something. I know how to play pool, but I suck. I don't suck compared to you. I'll fuck you up. But I suck compared to regular people. Right. Or rather, compared to professionals. Yes.

There's levels. Yes. And I am fucking dumb. When I talk to Elon Musk, I'm very aware how dumb I am. Really? Yes. When I talk to Lex Friedman, when I talk to Eric Weinstein. But if you talk to Elon about emotions and human interaction, if you talk to Elon about emotions and human interaction,

probably you're much smarter than him. He's not dumb in that regard. He's a different kind of human, man. That's an unusual combination of characteristics. He likes to make jokes. He takes a picture of Bill Gates, and then he puts it next to a pregnant man emoji and it says here's a quick way to lose your boner.

Or if you want to lose your boner really quick. That's what he said. He posts that! He's the richest man in the world and he's dunking on other billionaires. I love that. You've got to celebrate that. I love Elon. And he loves that nature of the internet. And the thing that bothers him is this idea that one gatekeeper can dictate whether or not something gets released into the whole world if you're using something like Twitter. You could have an amazing story and they could block it if ideologically they disagree with it.

That's what happened with that Hunter Biden laptop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened with that? Well, they decided to say that it was Russian disinformation and that you couldn't share the links on Twitter or Facebook. Twitter said that. Yeah, Twitter would not let you share the links. And the link is from a story in the New York Post,

which is really kind of crazy because that's like one of the oldest newspapers in America. It's a long established newspaper and they wouldn't let you post. It's not like some wild ass website. Right. You know, some weird, it might not be a real website. It was fucking New York Post. And so when something like a Twitter has the ability to just tell you what you can and can't talk about, even if that thing is valid, even if that thing—

What if it does legitimately—I don't know what the fuck is in his laptop, but what if it does legitimately point to corruption? Are we supposed to just ignore it because we want to own the people on the right? That's what we do with Pelosi. Right. What do you mean? She may corrupt. She's definitely corrupt, but she's corrupt in a loophole way, I think. Talk to me. She's doing

a thing where her husband buys stock in companies, and she may or may not know things that would affect that company. And they're so rich. They did a thing on her husband where they showed how successful he is

in the stock market compared to regular people. It's hilarious. And it's like totally there's no way that he knows things. She makes like 200 grand a year. I'm not saying that he knows things. He might be a genius.

I'm not saying that. He's just a great investor, bro. He's better than Buffett. That's all we're saying. He's a goddamn wizard. Puts a wizard's hat on and he finds the right things to gamble on. And he always wins. I mean, she's worth like hundreds of millions of dollars.

Good for her. Does she come from money at all? I don't think so. I respect that, though. Because most of these motherfuckers come from money. They keep changing the rules of the game to help themselves. At least if you were in the gutter before and then you shift the rules up, it's like, well, at least you made the climb. A lot of these motherfuckers are just born in it.

Ah, you're saying that she hustled for it. Yeah, at least she got there on her own. Hey, what is it about people that were born in it, right? Like princes. Why did so many of them become like psychopaths? I don't think you— Throughout history. Wait a minute.

What do you mean? You say first generation become psychopaths i don't think you throughout history wait a minute what do you mean you say first generation become psychopaths a lot of uh like like sodom hussein's sons were some of the most evil people that have ever lived they would do horrific shit there's stories of them kidnapping women on their wedding day like going to them taking them from their husband raping them and feeding them to their dogs. What? That's horrendous. Like, for real?

Yes. It's peak finish. Yes. That's all that's left. Feeding them to their dogs. Yeah. I think there's a sociopathy that develops, or sociopathy, however you say it, when you're so removed from any normal human interaction that you don't ever-

Develop empathy. You don't get to feel bad for people because no one shows you the bad shit. So there's no remorse to feel, I think. So you're just like, well, let's just push this as far as we can push it. This is a theory I just came up with. But I dare you to debunk it. I think they get stuck in this idea. Human beings have this thing where we other each other.

If you're going to go to war with that group even it's like north versus south yeah we can we can other each other yeah and i think we could do that with anything yeah i didn't know that happened with the kids i thought the kids i heard they were weak no i heard they were awful but i'm not saddam's kids i'm just saying in general i thought like the the kids of successful people it's well sometimes but there's there's a few of those instances of evil kings, right? That's like Game of Thrones. Joffrey.

He's an evil king. Like there's a long history of young men who take over the throne from their father and they're just fucking evil. Yeah. Well, maybe they don't have the empathy because they didn't have to earn it. Like if you come from nothing, you have empathy for all the other people who have nothing. And those kids who come from everything, why would they even feel bad? thing you have empathy for all the other people who have nothing and those kids who come from everything why would they even feel bad also the reality the just the reality of violence was accelerated back then because people were doing sword fighting yeah you know they were hitting

each other with bows and arrows and hacking each other to death and so it was happening and probably like everybody saw it right like the amount of laws and rules that they had back when that shit was going on yeah you used to see death all the time like i think about that now i've seen a dead body like three times in my life yeah so if you yeah i mean like my grandfather passed away open casket like that kind of thing but like back in the day they all saw bodies yeah like you're confronted by life and death bookended all the time you know when they talk about like people the life expectancy the average life expectancy used to be like 30 years old. You know what a lot of that is?

It's the babies would die. Infant death. It's like average, right? That was a big part of it. A big part of it was they used to have all these fertility rituals back then. They would do fertility rituals to try, it was important to make more people. And they would be worried that they would run out of people.

Isn't that wild? So the fertility rituals are like the community coming around to make sure that you have a baby well there's just so many infant deaths that they're like yo let's have every have as many kids as possible because so many die we might run out yeah it could have been like that they did they had dances or myths or stuff like that but like that was um there was a guy named john marco allegro who wrote a book called The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross. I was literally told him today, I saw this thing yesterday with you. Okay, go on this.

Christianity is like a mushroom. John Marco Allegro, he spent like just, I think it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 14 years deciphering the Dead Sea Scrolls. And he was an ordained minister who- What are the Dead Sea Scrolls? The Dead Sea Scrolls. And he was an ordained minister who... What are the Dead Sea Scrolls? The Dead Sea Scrolls is the oldest version of the Bible, I think, that they've ever found. It's in Aramaic.

I might be wrong about that, but it's an old version of the Bible that was written on animal skins and left in clay pots in Qumran. And so they found these fairly recently. Like, I think they found them in the 20th century or the 19th. Yeah, 46, 47. Okay. So it was the 20th century. And so then they started deciphering them. And this one guy, he was an ordained minister, but then as he became a scholar of ancient religions, he became agnostic. But he was still on the Dead Sea Scrolls Committee. So this guy is an expert in languages. They're trying to decipher this language. And so his conclusion at the end of 14 years is that the entire cult of Christianity was really all about the consumption of psychedelic mushrooms and fertility rituals.

And that the whole thing was a way to hide this knowledge in parables and stories, and that it was just passed down and translated over and over and over again and lost a lot of its meaning along the way when people stopped participating in the rituals. But his belief was, and he was an expert in the origins of words, and he traced back the word Christ to an ancient Sumerian word that meant a mushroom covered in God's semen. Because they thought when it rained that it was God coming on the earth. Because that was

how things would grow. That actually makes sense. If you have no science, we know nothing scientific. Liquid, exactly. And then all of a sudden things grow that is life springing from the earth so it must be god coming on the earth fertile right so here's the way it gets more complicated mushrooms grow like that okay so you could have no mushrooms and you get out of your

tent oh and then there's mushrooms yeah like literally overnight there could be mushrooms so they would eat these mushrooms and trip balls. And mushrooms in low doses increase visual acuity. They make people hornier. They establish a more potent bond of community. It allows creativity that is linked to the development of language.

Can I interrupt you for one second? We have mushrooms here if you want. Let's go! Do we really? I'm not doing no fun. Don't be scared. Let's fucking go. The Dead Sea Scrolls, mostly in Hebrew, a little bit of Aramaic.

Mostly in Hebrew? Yeah. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I got to tell you all about SeatGeek, man. I mean, if you didn't know already,

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We've got the hookup. Use the code FLAGRANT for $20 off tickets at SeatGeek. That's $20 off your first purchase with the promo code FLAGRANT. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app now. Let's get back to the show. The Dead Sea Scrolls, the way they found out what pieces were, they had to do DNA tests. They had to find out which cow the pieces came from. And then they put all the pieces where the cow came from, and then they had to try to piece it together.

It's wild shit. I mean, that's insane. And I've never read the Dead Sea Scrolls, but the people that read it say it's really fascinating. If that's what it meant, would you be a Christian? Come on now. I'm not joining any groups, man. But if that's what it meant. I think that's a real problem with people. What do you mean?

Joining groups. Talk to me. Yeah, you join the Christians and all of a sudden the Baptists are your enemies? You don't like Protestants anymore? No. You know, like, that's what happened with the Catholics and the Protestants in Ireland. I mean, there's obviously a lot more to it, but, you know, it was literally religion versus religion, killing each other. When one group finds itself, they tolerate each other, and then they don't tolerate anyone else.

That's the other reason we're talking about. Yeah, I mean, that's the history of humans. That's crazy. Do you subscribe to the high ape theory? It's called a stoned ape theory. Yeah, stoned ape theory. Dumbass. That's McKenna's idea.

I need mushrooms. The best guy describing that is actually Terrence McKenna's brother, Dennis. Dennis is a real scientist, like a rock-solid scientist. And the way he describes it, he explains why the theory has some merit. He never says that it's definitely what happened, but there's a mystery. The mystery with the human brain size is that the human brain size doubled over a period of, I it's like two million years which is extraordinary right I have no idea what happened and so there's a lot of fears Tell us about these high-ass apes. Anyway. I'm high as shit. Come on. Where's Miles, bro?

The stone ape theory is the theory. Stone theory. Bro. Dude. Come on, Joe. He's gone. I thought we lost Miles, bro. But he's back.

He's back. Everything's good. He was just covered by the monitor. Andrew's hallucinating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's okay. Let's go. So that's the theory.

We missed the whole thing? Yeah, I missed the whole thing. What's the theory, man? whole thing yeah i missed the whole thing the theory is ancient primates yeah experimented with mushrooms and they led to a rapid development in human brain size which doubled over a period of two million years so the human brain size doubled and he thinks it coincides with the rainforest receding into grasslands, which would give to a lot of undulates that would shit, like cows. And then on those patties,

they would find mushrooms. And they would try them out as a food source. And you want to kill cows to eat? Ancient primates. That's the reason why I probably don't. That's why India is so smart, Joe. Yeah, you can grow that shit in a lab, dummy. We don't need to fuck with shit.

Why are you playing in shit? We have scientists now! shit in the lab dummy you don't have to put pesticide in the lab yes organic just means don't pesticide wait you only eat organic no i eat whatever the fuck i want to eat right he ate six burgers when we were out that one time. Oh, yeah, that is true. One time I did. Now you understand why we talk about food with you, Joe? I like to eat. We met you to get a hamburger.

Yeah. You ate three. And then there was one more on the table, and you just said, this is nobody's right. Because sometimes they leave them there. Because everybody's just ordering shit. We got like giant trays. Yeah, you don't want to be wasteful. I think that was a chicken sandwich too.

No, the recall. Recall, bro. Alpha brain. This is what we think it is. I think you have insane recall and you think that you're dumb, but your recall, like are you one of the guys

you know exactly what happened in a round of a fight that you watched 10 years ago? Not always. No, definitely not always. Sometimes though? Sometimes I get it. Yeah, a lot of times.

That's pretty crazy. Sometimes I get it wrong. Sometimes, like, oh, I thought he did it that way. Because you've heard athletes do this. Like, Bill Russell could tell you every single play of every game that he did. LeBron, they say, can do it. I don't know if I believe it. That's interesting. Sean McVay can do it.

A lot of fighters don't have that. Fog of war, no, no, no. Fog of war also, I assume. No, even when they win. Like sometimes they just get in a zone. And then before they know it, they've won. And then they'll watch it on camera and go, whoa, look at that.

Almost like they don't remember what they did. I assume if your life is on the line, everything is heightened, but you don't remember any of it. It's just, I have to survive. I don't think it's that as much as they're so focused on delivering shots. They're so focused on delivering shots that they're like in a trance. But what about my theory, Joe? Your theory is great for pussies. Shut the fuck up.

Eat some beef, right, Joe? Come on. It's a really good theory. Get the beef. If you weren't talking about the toughest people in the world, maybe your just scared theory would be great. You don't think Akash would be a good fighter? Oh, you think he's built?

A lot of really smart guys are good fighters. Say again? A lot of really smart guys are good fighters. I didn't say he's smart. He's a very smart dude. I have the worst recall, actually. The worst recall. Yeah, but you're smart, man. You're a smart guys. He's a very smart dude. I have the worst recall, actually. The worst recall. Yeah, but you're smart, man.

I'd be reading shit and forgetting it in 30 seconds. Every time y'all ask me for something I talked about two weeks ago, I'm like, I don't know, man. Is that the case or is it just that

you don't give a fuck about what they were talking about? Like if something matters to you, do you remember? I still forget. Dead ass, dude. I read about what every Hindu holiday means every year and then I forget the next time it comes around.

But what if it's something that is important? Like, what if your wife is telling you something that happened? I wasn't listening in the first place. So what could you do, you know? That's not good. Well, you seem to have a commitment. That's not good. Don't do that at home.

You seem to have a commitment to this ideology. Come on, Mark. It's his fucking fault. He got me high. This chair goes back so far. That's nice. You do have comfy choices in the furniture. But this one, because I'm all the way back here.

Like, I'm trying to shoot me even. Come on, Joe. Young Keanu right here. It does make me feel like sitting here more casual. It's more casual. It's chill, bro. Yeah, dude. We're hanging out.

Than the office chair. I'm always in these little fucking chairs that make you sit up like this. Yeah, yeah. But don't these hurt your back? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Put that, prop that shit back here. Get a little lumbar support. If you need it, cock.

Okay. It hurts him sometimes. Come on. Yo, you know your boy Cameron? Yeah. Who's awesome, by the way. Yeah, I love that. Why does he carry the animal himself if he has a photographer?

Well, because the photographer doesn't carry animals for you. Yeah, what the fuck? But he could. No, no, no, no. You just take an animal carrier. This guy also could take a picture. He's got expensive cameras. He's not going to throw a fucking bear on top of that.

You know those are completely different skill sets, right? I don't know. You know a good photographer. Bro, I love this guy on Instagram. That's an artist. A photographer's an artist. You're a dumbass, dude. No, I'm just saying I watch his shit all the time.

He's my motivator. Like, I just love it. He got great music choices also. You know what's interesting? What is that? He's on the New York Times bestseller list. Oh, really? Yeah, and I don't know if I'm supposed to say this because it's kind of weird.

But he should have the number one book in nonfiction based on the numbers. But they put him in self-help instead, which is like – it's really weird. Seriously? Which is like, it's really weird. So seriously. He's number eight in the New York Times on how-to books, but he outsold the number one nonfiction book and the number one audiobook and didn't make either of those lists. So you think they're hating on him? I don't know. I mean, why would you? It's maybe an idea. New York Times, dude.

Liberals. I know, but they shouldn't do that. It's so silly. It's like you have an idea of who that guy is. He's a super sweet guy. Wait, what's the bad thing about him? He's a family man. Cocks hate that. He's a do that. It's so silly. It's like you have an idea of who that guy is. He's a super sweet guy. Wait, what's the bad thing about him? He's a family man. Cucks hate that.

He's a bow hunter. He's a very manly bow hunter. But he's also an ultra marathon runner. He's a savage. I want to go hunting. He's a psycho. I want to go. He's a psycho in the nicest way possible.

Meaning that he's the type of dude that's like, how many miles are we running? 500? Well, guess I better pack a lunch. And he just can go. He'll just go. If his body doesn't explode, if he doesn't have a heart attack and die, he's going to cross the finish line. He came to the special. You guys are beasts.

You should go hunting with him. I want to go hunting. Because I've never been hunting. You can carry the animal. I've never been hunting or camping. He'll take you. Will we camp? Because I want to do both.

You've never camped? I've never gone camping. Burning Man was his camping. But that was inside an RV with air conditions. Camping, listen, camping is amazing. But I recommend doing it where grizzly bears don't live. Have you? Wait, why?

Yeah, I don't think I would camp. I am not interested in being around grizzly bears. You have a fear of grizzly bears. Everyone should have a fear of grizzly bears. Because if there was only one grizzly bears. Everyone should have a fear of grizzly bears. What? Because if there was only one grizzly bear and it was a myth, like a grizzly bear didn't exist. But then it was in a movie.

And there was this thing that's a 900-pound predatory wild dog. It runs 20 miles an hour. It just roams through the woods. No fences. No fences. Oh, you want to climb a tree and get away? It can climb trees. Break a moose's back. My friend watched through a scope.

He was looking through like a long range scope. He watched his bear as it was chasing him. Oh shit, it's chasing him, it's chasing him. The bear caught up to the moose and broke its back. With a slap. Oh shit. Just bang. And the moose is fucked.

Slams against the side of this tree. The bear took down a fucking moose. Those are just running around. And you're going to have a little cloth house that you sleep in? But what if you scare them by yelling at them? Well, you might scare them off. Generally speaking, they're not going to want to kill you

because you're not a primary food source. They focus on what they try to eat. They try to eat berries. They try to eat animals. They try to eat a lot of fawns and calves. That's what they want. They want babies. Right when they get out, they're the most vulnerable. And bears are on the hunt right around then. Did you see this one? Oh my God, it's the most terrifying. I've said for years that bears are my biggest fear. And you guys made fun of me relentlessly.

This is the polar bear. This one is fucked. Yeah, there's mad bears where I live. But what's going on right here? Where do you live? Oh, I grew up in Florida in Orlando. Oh, there's a lot of bears in Florida. But they were like little black bears. They weren't even that big.

Little, but they'll still kill people. But this thing right here? So this is him just being curious. He's just kind of looking around. No, no, no, no. Incorrect. No, that's a polar bear. He smells meat.

And he's trying to get in there and eat that dude. That's 100% what's going on. He's not curious. You don't think he's sniffing around? Uh-uh. He smells meat. Look at this. That polar bear smells that man's meat. That's why he's doing this. This has nothing to do with curiosity. He is trying to bite that box to eat that man. 100 million percent. I mean, this is insane. Yeah, because polar bears only eat meat. They're not like any other bear. They're the most predatory

of all bears because they don't have any other options. They don't have any vegetables. There's no grass. All they eat is fucking seals or anything else. Photographers sometimes. Anything that's there. Polar bears will come for you. So what do you do in that situation? Dude. Pray. I heard

the most terrifying story of these explorers. They were on an icebreaker. And they were on an icebreaker. I don't even know if this is true. So they're out there in wherever the polar bears live. And they have a leak in their boat. They have to literally

get off the boat because the boat's sinking. So they make their way to an ice raft. They get off the boat onto this ice raft and they wait and there's multiple hours before someone can come get them and they see a polar bear and they see a polar bear on a neighboring ice raft yeah and he's looking at them and he stands up and bloop comes up in the water and pops up on the next one next to it oh and they're like oh man back in the water pops up on the next one next to it until he's right next to them he dives in the water comes up onto their ice raft takes one of the guys grabs him pulls him into the water swims with him over to the other one and and starts eating him. Fuck. Right in front of those dudes.

Holy shit. So they're standing there going, what the fuck? Where did you think it was heading at? I thought they were going to get away before. And then the boat comes. So they have to watch their friend get eaten by a fucking polar bear. They have to watch their friend get eaten alive by a polar bear. Oh, that's fucking true.

And they eat you alive, too. They don't bother killing you. Do you have any friends that died from grizzlies or anything like that? No. No, I don't. I do have friends that have been chased by grizzlies and attacked by grizzlies. And what happened? And brown bears.

Well, most of the time, what they're trying to do is scare you. Most of the time, it's like a female with her cubs, and you just zigged when you should have zagged. That's his thing. He thinks he could zag at the right moment there's no zagging with bears and uh that's happened with friends where they got charged you know shot at them um cameron no he never had to do that but um steve ranella from that show meat eater has a horrifying story of they had a shot an elk on a Fognac Island, which is this Island in Alaska where the biggest Brown bears live.

These things are fucking huge, man. Like 11 foot tall bears, right? They're monsters. Right. And they killed this elk. And when they went back to retrieve it,

they noticed bear shit and they ignored it. And they said, let's just sit down and have lunch and we'll carry this meat out of there. And they heard a noise and then they it and they said let's just sit down have lunch and we'll carry this beat out of there and they heard a noise and then they turned and there was this fucking giant beast just running through the camp and they all stood up and guys were falling over each other the bear was like running right past them one guy this guy's name's Dirtmouth, wound up on top of the bear as it was running down the hill. Holy shit. For like 30 feet.

Falls off onto the ground. The bear runs off into the woods and starts hoofing at them. And they scramble back to the camp. They didn't have their guns on them. The guns were sitting there. All they were doing was eating lunch. They had no idea it was going to happen this fast. And then all of a sudden they've got guns.

They've got to try to back out of there. But the bear had claimed their elk. Oh, it took their kill? Yes. They got off easy. He decided it was theirs. Oh, yeah, they got off easy. They just lost an elk.

Who cares? Who cares? They're lucky that's not the bear. I don't even know if they lost the whole elk. I think they only lost part of it. I think they were in the process of cutting it up and shipping it and moving it back to their camp, which was like a couple of miles away in this rugged terrain. This thing just come out of nowhere.

Yeah. Is it just the bear that you have to worry about? You got to worry about everything, man. The thing that's great about the woods is that it's a human reset. When you're legitimately out in the mountains, it's a human reset because you realize no one gives a fuck who you are out there. No one gives a fuck about you.

Everything here is trying to do their thing. The bulls are literally killing each other the fuck. They're killing each other. What do you mean? They grow weapons every year. That's what they are. They compete. They kill each other. I didn't know're killing each other. What do you mean? They grow weapons every year. That's what they do. They compete. They kill each other. I didn't know they attack each other.

That's how the female uses, dog. The males will, like, there'll be competition. Whoever wins is the dominant male. That's who the female will mate with. And mates with all of them? Two bulldogs fighting. Whenever she's in heat or whatever, that's when male competition happens. She's saying, I'm going to choose the dominant male because i want the strongest genes for my offspring yeah

i control this because i got the so look what happens look they start smashing at the water those are two big ass bulls and they decided they both want to be the king shit of the herd and so they have to go to war so if you are in the woods and you're elk hunting and you hear clackety clack clack clack clack clack clack clety-clack, clackety-clack, clackety-clack, you're like, oh, shit, they're fighting. And you could run in and kill one of those bulls because they're distracted. Have you seen when they get locked up? Sometimes they'll lock up their antlers and they'll just die that way. Dude, I've watched this personally from 50 yards away.

Really? It's amazing. It's amazing to watch. It's wild. Yeah, it's terrifying. And then what happened? Well, in my situation, the wind was bad, and we never really could get a shot. It was like there was too much, there was too many trees and shit for us.

By the time we got to them, they had smelled us and took off. What's the biggest animal you could beat the shit out of? I don't think I could beat the shit out of a monkey. I'm really scared a monkey would fuck me. What about a wolf? I'm not kidding. Did you see that video? Did you ever see that video of a monkey who pulls that strip of that dude's head off?

Monkeys are freakishly strong. But it just climbs. This guy is, like, trying to be peaceful. He's, like, on his, like, sitting crisscross applesauce. And the monkey comes and sits on him. And he's like, hello, my friend. And the monkey just bites his head and pulls a giant chunk of his scalp off and runs away.

Can you get that up, Mark? I mean, pulls like a fucking Subway sandwich-sized chunk of scalp from this dude's head. I'm not bullshitting. Like this big. Do we have monkeys in America? No, we do not.

What about South America? South America has some monkeys, yeah. Arian Foster, who's a football player, he said, I could take a wolf. Yeah, he's crazy. We talked about it on the podcast. We did a podcast together. That's ridiculous.

No chance. No, impossible. Even you. You're a wrestler. No, no, no, no, no chance. No chance. No chance. You would get, it's literally like a machine that crushes moose bones.

Okay. Okay. So no animals. A wolf's bite is five times stronger than a pit bull's. Did you see this? And their teeth are designed to crush bones. Oh, this is the craziest shit I've ever seen. What are you doing in this situation?

So this is a family that went to Thailand for like a trip, okay? If I'm not mistaken. So they're like hanging out and they go to like an orangutan exhibit. Oh, no. And this is like one of the, this is not graphic, but this is one of the things that they do. Oh, no. I'm too high for this. I'm watching this lady get bit.

But she's just chilling there. And then they do like an orangutan experience. And this is what happens. He walks up behind her. He starts grabbing her boobs. Smiling, tongue out. He smiles and then just dips. But I don't think I would want to be that close to an orangutan ever in my life. No.

Yeah, it's not necessary. If that thing wanted to, it could pull you apart like a roll of toilet paper. Just shh. Yeah. It could pull you apart like you were nothing. Yeah, these people are- We think of our, like, oh, it's not that much bigger than me. It's like, it's kind of the same size as me.

It's not even the same thing. Yeah, strength to weight ratio. We're made out of jelly donuts. That's what it is. There's not a goddamn animal where you wouldn't be able to fight off a feral cat. Bears are the scariest animal. I'm glad we actually cleared that up. I think they're one of the scariest.

I accept that as an apology. But big cats might be even scarier. Yeah, I'm more afraid of a big cat. Big cats are way more afraid of tigers. I feel like I could get away. I'm being dead serious. With a tiger or. Bears, I feel like I could get away. I'm being dead serious. With a tiger or a lion, I feel like there's nothing I can do. Do you remember when you scared me with the bear thing?

No. Do you remember this? I forget where we were. We were at some comedy club. I told you about fear of bears. And I was on edge all day because I was going through all my childhood trauma with bears. And then you just popped out of nowhere at the comedy club. I think we were in Salt Lake City.

Do you have a lot of childhood trauma with bears? I mean kind of As a kid it was the scariest thing in the world Because we would just be sitting in our house And all of a sudden all the trash cans would rattle And I'm like six years old And all the dogs would start barking crazy And then we'd run outside and there'd be a bear there

And Florida bears are like Florida people They're all very unpredictable Smoking PCP these bears Unpredictable Running from the law Wearing Trump hats They got guns and shit bro Unpredictable. Smoking PCP, these bears. Unpredictable. Running from the law. Wearing Trump hats. They got guns and shit, bro.

These bears have guns, dude. And I would go outside and I would just bump into one. And I'd run inside. I'm like six years old. And then my family found out about it. They bought a bear mask. And then we had a full bear mask. And I'd be sleeping in my bed, eight years old.

My brother kicks in the door, wakes me up and growling. And I'd wake up and there'd be a bear in front of me. This is amazing. So we made fun of you because of this? Yes. I didn't listen to a lot of things you said earlier when you opened it up. I got so terrified of bears. And then they knew once I got comfortable with the bear mask, then they just flipped the mask inside out. Oh, my God.

So it was like just a beige. Oh, and then we did something. Did we print out a picture? No, we were planning to do it. We never did it. Oh, I don't know if we ever did it. It's still coming. But we wanted to scare you with a full bear costume.

I was terrified. It's still coming. Oh, my God. Please don't. It's going to come. That's the scariest animal. Real bears are fucking weird to see because you actually see them in the wild. I saw one grizzly, and it wasn't a big one.

It was only about six feet tall, but it stood up, and it was looking at us. It was looking at us in a totally different way than anything's ever looked at me. I saw a bear when I was in fucking Montana and its cub. Nothing. I was biking. A black bear? Might have been a black bear. Maybe a black bear. I don't believe you. I swear to God in my life, I was at my boy

at Mundo's bachelor party. We're doing a bike trip. I don't believe you. You need to get high more often. I have video. I have video of the bear bear He's not arguing with you He's fighting against The feeling the weed Is bringing inside of you

What is the feeling? I don't think I'm high anymore I think it passed Oh yeah you're fine Okay let's get him A little bit more then More afraid of bears or sharks Give us a blunt

Because we're in New York It depends on where you are We gotta smoke a backwood Oh yeah pop these out On the ground Bring the whole joint over On the ground No no give the whole joint over. On the ground? No, I give the whole thing.

Oh, we got the dipped ones. That's too crazy for me. But just bring the whole thing over and then we can choose. So here's my answer. On the ground, a bear is not as scary as a shark is in the water.

Oh, bro. Shark is the eighth. I am way more afraid of sharks, way more afraid of alligators, way more afraid of... Have you ever smoked a backwood, Joe? Yeah. You really have? way more afraid of, have you ever smoked tobacco, Joe? Yeah. You really have?

Yeah. Who the fuck do you smoke tobacco with? I'm telling you, it's not that unique to New York. No. I thought this was like a Brooklyn, New York thing. No, they spread around. Charlie Murphy introduced me to the concept back in the day. He was the first guy I ever smoked blunts with, and I was like, oh.

Wait, really? I was like, this is better. Yeah. Blunts are better. Wait, wait. you just have to admit that you're enjoying the tobacco like there's a conversation online with me and wiz khalifa about that he's like why do you uh why do you like blunts i go i think i like the tobacco he's like i'm glad you're honest about that a lot of people they don't want to admit that they like that tobacco part yeah but the tobacco tobacco is not good for you, right? But it's awesome.

But it's awesome. I would smoke cigarettes. That's why I like cigars. Oh, yeah. The Schultz after a few beers, oh, he likes cigars. He's not going to have a cigarette. I don't really like cigars that much,

but cigarettes are great. I love a cigarette. Well, you know what cigarettes do? They give you a head... Ooh, that's nice. They give you a head rush. That's good stuff. Cigarettes give you a... Al Ooh, that's nice. They give you a head rush. That's good stuff Cigarettes give you a spoken in two hours

He's thinking he's going I can never make my Apex You think the best ever where's my baby That's apex. You think he's the best ever, bro? Where's my baby back? There's a real good argument he's the best ever, but I don't think there is one best ever, honestly. Why not? Because I think it's like all, there's so many variables. There's like the quality of the competition.

There's the length of the reign. There's, you know, there's so many, there's like weight classes like 125. Yeah. But there's a real argument that Mighty Mouse is the greatest of all time. A real argument. Did you see that fight against the Muay Thai guy? Yes. That was sick, dude.

Amazing. I love that Muay Thai. Because he had to get through that first round, raw tang. He had to get through that first round before he can utilize MMA. It was a crazy rule set. I like how they did it. I'm getting high. Get high, son.

Yeah, they did one round. One round Muay Thai, one round MMA. And then one round Muay Thai, one round MMA. It only went two rounds. Yeah. All Mighty Mouse had to do was get through that first round, essentially. And then he took him down quick. He got his back.

I got enough to die. You good, son? You want one more? No, I'm good. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah. Once he took him down, it was a wrap. But it was so much, it was so interesting to see him, like, respect the distance. Like, that first round, Rod Tank was just walking straight into him. He didn't give a fuck.

Mighty Mouse even landed a couple shots. But the second round, when he knew that there was, like, jujitsu at play or wrestling or anything, to see him backing up, keeping like four feet in between the two of them, like going, I cannot engage with this guy because if he gets me on the ground, I'm a rat.

Yeah, yeah. Mighty Mouse is legit. And him leaving the UFC and then going over and fighting with completely different rule sets too. They have a thing they did over there where they allow people to soccer kick your head on the ground.

Yeah, that's fire. You can knee to the head on the ground and you can soccer kick to the head. That's legitimately crazy. But is it that much crazier than the rules that exist? Yeah, guys, damn, you're unconscious. You can just kick the fuck out of his head. You don't mean when he's unconscious. You mean when he's on the ground.

I mean when he's going out. I mean he's still awake. Damn near. No, he's right. It's tricky. It's still awake. Damn near. Yeah. No, he's right. It's tricky. It's very tricky. The problem is it's like for one single blow, it's one of the most powerful things a person can do. Because it's a natural human movement, right? It's a natural human movement to just do that.

That's so normal. Everybody knows how to run. So anybody who runs can probably kick a soccer ball pretty fucking hard. And when someone is going out and they're already collapsed and the referee can't get to them in time, that person, if you can't soccer kick them in the head,

might survive. Because you get on top of them and you ground and pound them. Maybe they deflect some stuff and maybe they clinch. Maybe the referee, oh, he might pull out of this and he'd go.

But if you were allowed a soccer kick, a lot of those fights are done. A lot of those fights are done if you're allowed a soccer kick. And you just go watch some of the fights in Japan. Japan allowed soccer kicks. But it was different because Japan allowed it in a ring. And in the ring, you can kind of move around the ring. The cage, you can't go anywhere. So soccer kicks in a cage are uniquely problematic.

Because you could get to a position where you're pinned. Your head is pinned. The cage is here. And a guy could just punt your fucking face. Which is, I mean, I can't imagine getting hit harder than that. But it's happened. And, you know, it's been a big factor in the fights where it does happen. Where you're allowed to do that.

Yeah. Where you're allowed to kick a guy or knee a guy in the head when they're down. And so what one FC, I think, has decided is they're going to allow that. The soccer kicks. Yeah. I've seen some rough ones. Do you ever get dropped? I've been dropped.

I've never been knocked unconscious, but I got TKO'd. Oh, really? Yeah, I got hit with a left hook and my legs gave out. They went like, boink, good night. It was really interesting. It didn't hurt. It was like they just shut off. Yeah.

They just shut off. And then I got back up and then I got hit with an uppercut and the referee stopped the fight. But it was – I was conscious the whole time but I was aware that I was like ready to go out. Sparring ever been close? No, never been knocked out. I've been hurt for sure. I've been dropped. I've been – probably I don't know how many times I've been hit really hard where i had to like go home but that's totally normal yeah that's part of the problem with uh any kind of combat sport

is like when you're learning it's not just the fights that you have that give you damage it's also all the training yeah like what shaw was talking about with training with that guy shane carwin yeah he said shane used to like ring his bell all the time yeah like that's where i would see a lot of guys that had like one pro fight do you know who jerry quarry is how do you spell it oh the box jerry quarry the box yeah the box is a famous story because jerry quarry fought muhammad ali and you know it, in a lot of people's eyes, like, wow, how did he hang in there with Muhammad Ali? Like, sort of like this story where people were like, romanced and like, yeah, he gave it a great shot. But he was one of those guys that was a very good

fighter in an age of very great fighters. And he fought the best of the best and took some tremendous beatings. But his brother, who I think had very few fights, had just as much brain damage as him. Wow. And his brother and him used to spar. So it was all that training. And part of it, so it's not one or the other. It was obviously fighting Muhammad Ali is terrible for your brain.

Yes. Obviously, all those other great, great fighters he fought were probably terrible. But those sparring sessions cannot be denied. Dude, you know who James Toney is. Fuck yeah. Of course, you know. Fuck yeah. James Toney is an amazing boxer, and he also played Walt.

No, no. Who? He played Frazier. Not Walt Frazier, but Joe joe in the ali movie the one that was with will smith oh yeah remember anyway so i never watched that movie to be honest i'm telling you to watch movies and you don't fucking watch them but did you see everything everywhere all at once no i haven't because i haven't gone to the movies yet i'm waiting for have you spoken to ari about about it? We've been streaming. Yeah, yeah. He loved it. He loved it. We had like a long-

What are you going to see first, that or Top Gun? Bro, you got to see Top Gun. That, I'm going to see that. Top Gun, I've got to be high, so I'm going to be home. Top Gun? You can't watch Top Gun sober. Yes, you can. Not me.

Why not? Not me. I need to be intoxicated. Why? So you can ignore hot Tom Cruise's without feeling weird about it? No, no, I'm cool with that part Alright guys, we're going to take a break for a second Because I've got to tell you all about athletic greens

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ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Now let's get back to the show. Yo, who's the hottest guy? That's a good question. Probably Thor, right? Dude, Chris fucking-

Don't do that. Right, guys? Hey, you guys agree, right? We're all the same. It's between Jason Momoa and Thor. Did you ever watch his workouts? No. People, hey, he's taking steroids.

Well, he's obviously, yeah. For sure, USADA's not knocking on Chris Hemsworth's door, but you don't get that big without immense amounts of hard work. There's no way. You just don't. People think, oh, he's just taking steroids. Bro, relax. Can you get those girls off the screen,

and can we get back to that hot guy? Thank you, bro. My bad, dude. He's an ad blocker, bro. Al is trying so hard to participate. It's so funny. Isn't he good looking?

Hey, Al. Al, isn't he good looking? Yeah, he's kind of hot. Who's your number one guy, Al? Who is it? Who is it? You know how long we've been doing this podcast?

I know Al's number one guy. Okay, go. It's the guy from This Is Us. Yeah. Yeah, I told you. A drama? Yeah. Nah, I'm watching it.

It's Al's obviously in the white guys. Oh, it's the white guy from This Is Us? Yeah. Oh, wow. Justin Hartley. Justin Hartley. He's no Thor, bro. I would recall that.

Thor, bro. Is he a brunette? Is he a brunette? Yeah. That's like the ultimate insult. You know Thor, bro. What? You're no Thor. Yeah. I meanette? Yeah. That's like the ultimate insult. You know Thor, bro. What? You know Thor.

I mean. Who is? That's your number one guy. Bro, hold on, hold on, hold on. That's your number one guy of any dude on the fucking planet? That's the guy who created the show. That's the guy who, no, that's Jason Caden. Piers Morgan is funny.

Yeah. Now Thor got it. Now it's okay, right? He's like, oh yeah, he's awesome. He got number one, though. Pale face, you know what I mean Yeah I'm picking on the same guy

Like I will Who's your number one I got Idris Elba Really That's a It's everything That's a whammy

That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy

That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy

That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy That's a whammy

That's a whammy That's a whammy is fucking weird. No, it's not personality. Oh, what's the character in the show? He's so charming. He saves the day. It's not personality. He just has a confidence about him. It's even gayer. It's even gayer. He's so witty. No, no, no.

It's confidence. Dude, it's got, that's all it is. Yeah, Joe's just about body dude Like a guy's personality a little bit You're right I'm learning and growing It's just a little old for me

See, so that's the difference between you See, you're assuming you would be the top He's assuming he would be the top he's assuming he would You think you think you think you fit in the top Thor you think you're gonna top out Thor? You think you're not Thor's boss? No, I don't think that, but I don't think about Thor in that way. I don't think about Thor in that way.

You're the one who submitted this. I think you do, Joe. How dare you? I think we both think about it. How dare you? I'm offended. You couldn't top out Thor, bro? Nah. He's blonde.

He wouldn't want to. Hey, why would you want to? No, no, no, I gotta top out Thor. Nah? Nah. He's blonde. He wouldn't want to. Hey, why would you want to? No, no, no. I got to top out Thor. Nah, he's got a throat going so he can stare at it. You don't want to flip him over. I got to be able to see this thing. What the heck is that, bro?

How do I expect? He got to be missionary. Yo, look at me, Thor. Stop fucking around, bro. Oh my god Mark you haven't said anything Catholicism have anything to do with it The most beautiful man is Jesus Christ All of our lord and saviors No Jesus got it. Yo, all y'all gay. Fire stories.

Or Malibu from American Gladiator, bro. Oh, yeah. Mark got ombre in his hair one time. Because of Malibu. One time. Does he keep doing it? It was once. It was once.

It was once. But, yeah, bro. Malibu is my number one. You kidding? Yeah, Malibu kind of got it, bro. Come on, dude. I don't know. Have you ever been to a furry convention?

Oh. What? What? Yeah, Malibu kind of got it, bro. Come on, dude. Have you ever been to a furry convention? Oh. What? What? What are you talking about? What? What? What are you talking about? Oh, what?

For real. We're talking about who you're attracted to, right? Do you know what those people do? Yes, yes, I do. He's too high to have a conversation. It's perfect. Oh, it's perfect. There was a UFC once.

No. And it was in Pittsburgh. A UFC furry convention? No, no, no. What the fuck are you doing? I'm trying to tell you a story. I thought it was both of them. There was a UFC once in Pittsburgh.

And the day we flew into town was the same day as a furry convention. Okay. So we landed at the airport. Yeah. We get the rental car. We're driving to the hotel, and along the way, we're like, what the fuck is going on? So what did you do? You, like, hop out and suck their dicks or what?

Jesus. Jesus, bro. They're animals. Marijuana's not good for everybody, ladies and gentlemen. If we've learned anything today It's don't give in to peer pressure Imagine if he ain't me When some drug addict offers you

Their daily drug of choice And you never smoke weed Don't listen to them He's much more high than me I'm not high but I got a piss Well you should probably go ahead and do that. Hold on. So the furry convention, go.

You guys pull up. It's you? Who? I don't remember who was with me at the time. It was probably some of the folks that worked at the UFC. We were probably, I don't remember, but I remember that as we were on our way to the hotel, we were like, why is everyone dressed like a mascot? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, what is going on? And we we're passing by what the fuck is happening here and then somebody figured out that it was a furry convention and by the time we got to the hotel we we became friends with the guy who worked at the front desk and he goes uh dude i'm so glad normal people are staying here i go what do you mean he goes most of the hotel is furries. I go, what? I go, well, what's the big deal? He goes, dude, they want a litter box. No. They asked for a litter box to put in the front courtyard.

I go, what? Disgusting. They literally asked. They requested a litter box. They were eating all of their food off of bowls. Bro. I'm like, are you fucking serious? He goes, no, dude.

Bowls aren't crazy. He goes, I'm not saying everybody's doing it. He goes, there's different levels. I'm just saying, we all use bowls. It's not the craziest thing. Litter boxes, water. Some of these people are like... Asians? Doing party drugs and fucking each other

while they're wearing their costumes. And they never take the costumes off. I love that. Burn them in. I mean, that's crazy. You think that's that crazy? I don't think it's that crazy. The litter box is fucking insane.

They gotta have the Pixar bodies though. The Pixar animals are fire. That's my point. Pixar animals got the thumbsters. I don't like that they're cartoon animals. I like animals. If you're gonna dress up and be an actual realistic man. Like the one that scared you

as a child. What the fuck is he doing, bro? Mark, what type of bears you really like? Rainbow shirt? Bro, he got you in a Pink Floyd shirt. Isn't that crazy? Do you like Pink Floyd? Oh, fuck yeah. He loves them. It's like the gays own the rainbow.

We all know this. Really? Yes. Wait, Pink Floyd? Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah? He loves them. It's like the gays own the rainbow. We all know this. Yeah. Really? Yes, yes. Wait, Pink Floyd is Pink Floyd? I don't like that you pointed at me when you said gays. But the rainbow. No.

He pointed at me. He was like, the gays own the rainbow. Oh, yeah, rainbows are theirs now. That's theirs. They got that, bro. They got that. Damn, man. How do we get back the rainbow?

We have to share it. We have to share it. They can keep it. I bet if Crim's... Come on, bro. That's his brother. I'm a fire one, too. They can keep it. I bet if Crim's... Come on, bro. That's his brother. Fire one, two, damn. Merry Crim.

Merry Crim, everybody. Back it up, Terry. That's what my brain tells me every single time I say it. Greatest video ever. Do you know about Terry? You know about Back It Up Terry? Back It Up Terry? You haven't seen Back It Up Terry?

I might have. You've definitely seen Back It Up Terry. Mark, please seen Back It Up Terry? I might have. You've definitely seen Back It Up Terry. What is it? Mark, please get Back It Up Terry. Let me pull it up. One second. This is Back It Up Terry. Okay, hold on.

Why am I scared? You've never seen this? No, this is actually really fun. Put that volume up. Bro, this shit is unreal. Without volume, we're fucked. All right, so this dude, Terry, is in a wheelchair. It's a motorized wheelchair.

He's lighting a firework with his family on Fourth of July. Oh, no. Okay. Okay. Hold your hands. You go. Jeez. Two cars coming.

Two cars coming. They're being safe. Two cars coming. Two cars coming, they're being saved. Two cars coming two different ways. Two cars coming two different ways. Bag up, bag up. Bag up, Terry. What do you mean, Terry?

Oh, Lord. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Lord. Oh, Jesus. What's going no! Oh, jeez! What's wrong? What's wrong? Oh, my God. What did you do?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He doesn't try to help him. Oh, my God. You can't, no. Oh, my God. You my God. He doesn't try to help him at all. You can't, y'all. Oh my God. You can't help him. Just the best video ever, bro. How do you see that?

Come on, Luke. That was so good. You need to get Terry. You need to get... Do you want to see a dude... He didn't even move the camera. The camera was perfectly stable. He was worried about the cars,

but as soon as the fireworks started going off. Hold on, what you got for us? Do you want to see a dude get his hand blown off by a firecracker? That's way less fun. Hold on. And then chug a beer. What is that?

What is that? Do you want to see a guy get his subway seat taken out of his head, bro? That's what I'm saying. I like the way you think. Back it up, dude. Get back here. What do we got?

Tell Mark. I'm trying to find this video. Oh, here it is. I found it. Watch this. Go full screen. This is fucked. You're going to see.

So these guys are drinking apparently. Jason Peter Paul video. And one guy has a firework in his hand. This is the guy's blood? Oh, gosh. Watch this. These guys are drinking apparently And one guy has a firework in his hand Oh gosh Watch this So the firework goes off Can't even realize that shit happened And now

Now The guy who just had the firework Go off in his hand stands up And he's holding in his hand stands up. And he's holding up his hand. Oh! And now watch this. Watch this.

He's like, yeah! White boy shit. Drinks his beer. I'm telling you, son. Yo! I mean, I don't know what happened to his hand, but that should never happen to your hand. Oh! That's crazy. It's a claw.

Okay. Bro. Why are you so high, dude? This is embarrassing. I'm fine. You're not high at all? I don't think so. I don't think he's in it.

Al's high. Yeah. Mark, you're not high at all? You guys are such rookies. You guys are such rookies. You get high and you go, are you high? I'm high what about you? I feel so high this is the problem

Joey Diaz used to get so mad at me when I first started getting high he goes Joe Rogan I'm tired of hearing about this I know you're fucking high we're all high but rookies always want to talk about how high they are yeah that change in state just let it go.

Yeah, all right. All right. Let it go. Let it go. Watch this dude's fingers get munched by a lion. Oh, my gosh. This is the dumbest fucking thing of all time. This one I guess I feel a little better about because he kind of asked for it.

He's asking for it, bro. How many fingers did he lose? Nope. Spoiler alert. How many? Oh, fuck me, dude. So he's fucking with his lion. Oh, fuck me, bro.

And then... That's hilarious. Jesus, don't make me watch this again and again and again. Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah, get that. He does deserve it, though, fully. He does. Fully deserves it.

It's a thing like you're not going to win. Yeah, bro. And the more you pull... Oh, boy. I saw a tendon. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Yeah, that was crazy, dude. Mark is going to pull up more for sure.

Did I tell you about the mountain lion that I saw in Utah? No. Is that a lake? No, this was in the woods. We were driving, luckily, because we were in a car. We were in a truck. And this dude I was with, my friend Colton, he stops the truck and goes, stop, stop. Look under that tree.

And I go, oh, my God. You see a big cat, big, with a head like a pumpkin. It's like 30 yards away. And I have binoculars on. So I'm looking at it through binoculars. I'm like, holy shit, man. It's like 180 pounds. Just this fucking cat just sitting there big ass pumpkin head wild eyes that

are reflecting the headlights off of the truck oh god it's like this is crazy and then it darts behind that trees and it's off in the woods like like gone like nothing oh god i'm like you just when you see something like that that's that close to you physically, you're like, well, this idea, I'm going to stab it. I'm going to fucking, when it comes from me, you ain't doing shit, bitch. You ain't doing nothing. You ain't doing nothing but dying. You ain't doing nothing. It is humbling, right?

You get around John and we're like. I was in a car. I was in the car and I was terrified. Why do white people do this shit? Are you not just that bored, bro? I was in a car. You felt pretty safe.

Why do we do it, Joe? I felt pretty safe. I've never seen any of these animals in my life because I enjoy living. Corey Anderson hunts. He hunts a lot. Corey from now on at Bellator used to fight for the UFC. Where's that cigar? You want the shrooms? No the cigar lighter? You don't get it But if you did it you would get it like if you eat meat and you you actually get a chance to go and get it yourself it's a different experience i remember talking to you

about this i was like do you think we'll ever get the dopamine hit that people back in the day got from like bringing a fucking deer back to their tribe or something we'll never get that level of satisfaction of like killing something and then bringing it back home. And then everybody gets to live. For sure. You catch a fish, right? You get excited. Why? Because a long time ago, that meant your family would eat. Yeah.

That's why it's exciting. Oh, I got a big one. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Even if you're not going to keep it. Even if you're going to catch and release. Yeah. You're still excited if you get a big fish that's going to feed everybody.

Yeah. Oh, I'm going to live today. I'm going to live today. I'm going to live. So that's what the fishermen are tapping into, the guys who just released it. 100%. 100%. And no one would deny that. No one would deny that.

It taps into ancient genetic memories we have of catching fish to feed our village. We have a buddy. I've been fishing with one. I was just bored until you finally catch a fish right but when you get one how exciting is it hey we're finally doing something well you might not be into it I'm not saying that

you're into it so much so that the boring parts like fishing is boring as fuck until it's not that's what fishing is so if you don't like the boring parts enough to get to the where it's not boring there's no big deal but the the experience you get when it's not boring is undeniable everybody when you catch a big fish you're like oh shit you see it man it's genetic

man it's like in our system that's gonna feed us that's why we, it's like a weird primal jolt of excitement. And it's built in memory because you had to have that because it would reward you for providing for your family. Do people get that same thing out of cooking? I bet. Yeah. This is a satisfaction you get from cooking. I can't imagine it's anywhere near the same. No, not the same.

But I guess like I'm trying to understand like why there is you get from cooking. I can't imagine it's anywhere near the same. No, not the same. But I guess I'm trying to understand why there is this love of cooking. And it has to be baked into our DNA a little bit because you're providing a meal for these people that you love. Yeah, it's not like – it's probably more similar than you would think. Because I think like when someone decides to cook for a group of people and they all sit down and really love it, decides to cook for a group of people and they all sit down and really love it. I bet they get an excitement that's very similar to when a successful hunter knows he's going to feed

his family. It's like a thing you provided. You gave a bunch of people a good feeling. That's really what it's all about. Yes. What a dork. I mean, for real. I think it taps into satisfying the tribe, if you will.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. And you're rewarded for it with a dopamine rush. Yeah. We're all little dopamine junkies. I mean, that's what you're doing when you're trying to kill. Trying to get smashed.

You just want to get big laughs. Wait, does that feel like when you shoot the elk or whatever with the bow and arrow? No, no. That's very. Does it feel like stand up? No. No, does that feel like when you shoot the elk or whatever with the bow and arrow? No, no. Does it feel like stand-up? No, no, no. But the thing, this is what's similar about them. You have to improv in that situation.

No, no, you really don't. Well, you do have to improvise sometimes. You have to move around. We even got antlers. But it's different. This is why. You gotta let him get off at that. Oh, my God.

This is my most fun podcast ever. Bro, it's the dopamine run. This is my most fun podcast I've ever been a part of. We got antlers. Ever. Hey, Bullwinkle. Never been a part of it. Hey, lookwinkle. Never been a part of it. Hey, look at this Bullwinkle, bro.

Yeah, Bullwinkle's a good one, right? Hey there, Moose. Moose, where you from? Don't talk to Moose, by the way. Why? Because they're the one animal that will kill you in the deer species. What? They'll chase you down and kill you.

But how would they kill you? They'll stomp you to death. Moose will, they regularly stomp people to death. It's a normal thing. Most people avoid them at all costs, but if you fuck up and you're too close to a moose, they'll come for you. They're different. They're different than any other wild animal because they deal with wolves. So they're like, real good at stomping.

Real good at just stomping the fucking shit out shit to a moose in a parking lot in anchorage alaska In Anchorage, Alaska If you're talking shit To a moose in a parking lot In Anchorage, Alaska You might get stomped to death That's real That's not a little slap, that's a stomp They're 1800 pounds When they're the giant bulls

I might have made that up Check the number, bro. I like your number better. What's worse? Fat James Elk. Remember we were talking about elk fighting and how crazy it is? Moose fighting is next level. Why?

Elk is the welterweight division. Moose are heavyweight. Moose are double the elk. Double. Double the size of an elk. Up to 1,400 pounds. Have you ever eaten a Moose are double the elk. Double. Double the size of an elk. Up to 1,400 pounds. Have you ever eaten a moose? They're huge. They're fucking gigantic. Yeah, I've eaten a moose.

So what's more dangerous for humans? Moose or bears? Bears. Bears, for sure. But you can avoid the moose. You can avoid the moose if you're really smart and you don't frighten them and you don't get between them and their calves, you're fine. They don't want to fuck with you.

They're worried about you as a threat. Bears are worried about you as a threat, too, if they have cubs, but they also might be predatory. A bear could be very hungry, especially like older bears. Like that guy, Grizzly Man. You ever watch that documentary? Yeah. That was crazy. What? Bro. You never watch Grizzly man you ever watched that documentary oh yeah that was great what bro you never watched grizzly no what's great it's the craziest documentary ever well

look at the size of these motherfuckers look at the size of these fuckers these are like 1500 pounds or 1400 pounds they're like enormous animals yeah with huge like saloon doors growing out of the size of their fucking heads. Look at the size of them. They're immense. And for them to survive, like they have to be able to fend off predators. So if you just get too close to them, they'll just fuck you up because they might, they don't know what you are. They've never seen a person. They probably think you're a wolf.

Yeah. You know, if you get like next to a mother a mother um bull if there's a bull elk he might go after you if you like interrupt him or if you get too close where he feels threatened by you but uh the the cows will stomp you if they have children i have a friend who lives up there and my friend mike shout out to mike he uh was on his horse, and he was running from a cow moose. She was chasing him, and the horse was running full throttle and barely getting away from this cow that had decided to chase after him because they had gotten too close to her calves.

Whoa. That's real world. That's not Twitter. Okay? Okay? All you fucking people that are putting your pronouns in your Twitter bio? Look at that! That's real world.

Yeah. Yeah, we need to go hunting, boys. You know, I want to go on a hunting trip. I don't know if you got it, bro. I don't know if I need to kill something. I'll be honest. I don't know if I need to kill something. You definitely don't need to.

I want to be around him. So what would you do if you were on a hunt? Scout? What do you think his role could be? I'm a scout. No, if you're going to go on a hunt. I'll carry your weaponry. If you're going to go on a hunt.

I would carry your weaponry. This is how you should do it if you really wanted to do it. Okay. If you wanted to go on a hunt, you should go hunt something that's ethical. There's an imperative. Like they have to remove them, like wild pigs. That's a great example. It's a great thing to hunt.

Got you. Because they literally have to, they, it's a terrible, the word cull is terrible. They're killing them because there's millions of them. They're destroying agriculture. Texas has a fucking giant number of wild pigs. Yeah, I can tell you that, Blake. Don't go there. I'm a Tex that, Blake. Don't go there. I'm a Texan, Joe. He can say the exact jokes.

Those are our words. You can make it. So if you wanted to do a hunt where you would get meat out of it, you get the full experience, and it's really doing good, that's the best hunt. Is pigs. Wild pigs. But I don't want to do that helicopter one. I think that's a little easy. No, no, no, no, no.

You want to do one like on the ground. Yeah. Yeah, you want to do like a real pig hunt. And it's not that difficult. These guys are shooting them at night. Yes. That's a lot of people do that. They do it with thermal scopes.

That's pussy. Yeah, I want to be during the day. I want to see it. There's two things going on at the same time. There's like how close do you want to get to a fair fight? Which is ridiculous. You don't want to get close at all, so don't call anybody a pussy. Two, you've got to eradicate them.

That's what I'm saying. You've got to eradicate them. You've got to eradicate them, and what's the most efficient way possible? Is there an animal that attacks humans other than I'm scared and I think he's a threat? Yeah. Yeah. If they think that they can eat you. A lot of animals, if they think they can eat you.

A woman in Canada got killed by coyotes. She was 19. She was like this promising folk singer, and she was like hiking in the woods, and she got killed by coyotes. See, that's the thing about being white, is you just got to do these fucking hikes. Look at him assuming this girl was white.

What? Wow. She's a folk singer. Am I wrong? Doesn't matter. You know what I'm saying? A Canadian folk singer? What do you think the fuck is going on?

A fucking Cambodian? Is a Canadian folk singer on a hike? Come on, I do mad Joe on Indian. That's a good one. You're absolutely correct, sir. I'll be right back. I got to pee. Get in there, buddy. You guys continue. I've been waiting for this seat.

Come on. It's been too long. This is Joe Rogan's flagrant right now. This is what it is. Welcome to the show, baby. Keep rolling, bitch. Yeah. Come on. Joe, the director has spoken. Yeah, dude. How is the marijuana treating you right now? Hey, I just decided to let it be, and I feel fine.

I don't think you did enough. I don't know if I should smoke more or what. I think more. Here's the thing. I don't want to be concerned about it, but I feel like this is the only time I'm going to get high in a long time. Never been high. I should get high. But I also don't want to get fucking stupid baked where I'm useless on the podcast. Right.

As funny as it would be to see me fall asleep. No, you passed the threshold, and at least you know the cap. Now you can just, next time, just take a little drug advice. Look at this. Drug advice. Yeah, right? I don't want to do it a bunch. Maybe not.

Maybe never do it again. Look, I'm the head of HR. I feel like I should smoke weed with you. Thank you very much. Yeah. I'm honored. I'm honored. Have you ever been so high on a pod that you couldn't function?

What is couldn't function? I can function poorly. That's a better question. What's that? I can function poorly, perhaps. I'm not high enough. Don't say I'm not high enough. Oh, get a little bit more high.

He's fine. What are you doing? Producing. He's trying to make content for this guy all the time. I'll pee soon. I'll give you the camera. He's trying to make content for this guy all the time. I'll pee soon. I'll give you the camera. He's trying to make content for all those goddamn content creators. What a bunch of losers, huh?

Fucking YouTube stars. Come on. Who does that? Who does such a thing? What, do you make your own show? Great. Once you watch a fucking show, just you make it. All your rules.

You can't follow everybody's rules. Isn't that amazing that that's like the best thing you can do right now? Is this? The best thing we could all do is this. The best thing. We're all indebted to you, yo. Listen, man. No one's indebted to anybody. We're all indebted to each other.

If there was only one person doing it, it wouldn't be any fun. I can't think of a single thing you might possibly owe me. It's not an owe, man. No one owes anybody anything. We're all benefiting. We all benefit from being a part of a group of fun,

interesting people. We all benefit. And it doesn't, like, you know, you can make tallies and decide, like, who benefits this and who benefits that, but it doesn't matter. What matters is the only way any of this shit is fun is if there's many people doing it. The only way it's fun is if you have all your friends

having a great time doing the exact same thing. Everybody's trying to do the thing. Everybody's doing their own version of the thing. But they're all doing it. I don't think you realize that is a completely different paradigm. That's not what we grew up in at all. And I do think you are at the forefront

of that. You don't have to put yourself there, but you are. We can all eat. This is for everybody. That's brand new. Well, you have to recognize where weakness is in you. What bothers you about you? One of the things that used to bother me about me is that i would get weirded out by other people who

are better than me at stuff and i would not like them and i'd be like why do i not like them because they're better than me at something like what is that fucking weird weakness yeah and i realized it was like a fear that there was like a finite amount of success that existed yes and then you could only you could only have a certain amount for yourself and if you were around other people that were doing well it would somehow or another take something away from you yeah it's weird i used to hate complimenting other people and i think i was just so scared to show any vulnerability that I wouldn't do it. And now I'm like, yo, if I like anything you do, you deserve all the praise.

I never want to hold that back. I'm just making this person feel not as good as he could. I learned how to do that from a guy who was a pool hustler. I was really good friends with a dude when I lived in White Plains. I used to play pool in White Plains. I lived in New Rochelle, New York. And I met this dude. His name was Johnny.

And he was like this mathematical genius who was also homeless, who was a pool hustler. And when I met him, he tried to hustle me in a game of pool. I was terrible at pool. I'm like, what are you talking about? Because I could tell he was full of shit, but he was funny. And I saw him there a bunch of times. We became friends. and I saw him there a bunch of times we became friends

but he was like the first guy that I ever met that would tell you what he liked about the stuff that you did he would come with me to comedy shows and he'd be like dude that thing that you're doing and he would go into this explanation I loved it

I know your generation likes to call it give you flowers he would give you he would give you like i know your your generation likes to call it give you flowers yeah he would give you he would give you love he would give you love that like i was like oh nobody does this everybody like kind of like never compliments their friends yeah and i'm like oh this doesn't hurt you to do that i'm like it doesn't change anything but that's what i'm saying is that's how different that thought is of what you're doing is back in the day you were a legitimate hustler if you made people feel good about themselves you're a con artist and now it's like that's

just what we should do yeah well he was a con artist but not like in the sense that he like it was almost like a half of a joke because he was a like a world-class professional pool player like he was just crazy yeah yeah and uh he had all sorts of like he was always trying to convince me to drive him to harlem so that he could score it was why it was a wild friendship because i was a young boy at the time and uh i was pretty fucking straight laced because most of my time like all through high school and into the time i was like 21 i was doing martial arts tournaments so i didn't drink hardly ever right mostly didn't do anything i was pretty like on the grind yeah then i met this dude who smoked crack yeah

and he was gambling he'd stay up and sleep i would meet him in 24-hour pool halls like i would have like an audition in manhattan in the morning and i'd go uh hey man i go i got an audition in the morning are you going to be at chelsea and i'd I'd meet him at Chelsea billiards where he was sleeping Chelsea billiards was a 24-hour pool hall and dudes would sleep under the tables. They would just go to sleep They didn't have a place to live. They just stayed at Chelsea. They gave themselves prop like whore washes You know with like fucking paper towels whore and but that was the first dude that I ever met They're like he would talk about, even people he didn't like. He would, like, this guy's a fucking asshole.

He goes, but watch how he does this. That's cool. Fired. Yeah, it was amazing. Like, he would tell me what they did wrong and he would, like, explain. It's all fucking ego. It's all their old bullshit. Like, they get scared when they think they might win.

Ooh. Like, he had this like mindset of understanding psychology but he could look at a guy that he fucking genuinely hated and tell you dude he does that really well that's a beautiful thing dude he he was a honest guy you know he was a wild crazy dude but he was an honest guy and he was honest about all the time so it's like i just sort of adopted that. Yeah. So at the time, I guess I was like 23 or some shit like that. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

When I met this dude. Yeah, maybe 24. Somewhere in that range. And we started hanging out together. And I was like, what a fucking interesting. The guy could play piano. He could do math in his head. Like you could have a calculator.

And you go 500 divided by 6 minus 7 plus 11 and go to 65 whatever obviously that's not what the real i can't do that but he would literally be able to do it like that and we would do it with calculators it was like a trick that we would do at the pool hall where people would like let him they would gamble with it he would tell people he could do that he would gamble with it. He would tell people he could do that. He would gamble with it. Wow. They would do calculations and he could keep up with the fucking calculator.

He could play piano. Again with the mic, bro! He took a whore bath. That accidentally... You ever play pool with a guy named Nick Schulman? Nick Schulman. I went to school with a kid, and when we were in like...

Is he a professional? Well, he became a hustler. This is when Amsterdam was like way uptown. Yeah, I played there. And there was another one on the east side called York or something. I don't know. There was another one on the east side. Chelsea was the big one.

I remember. I remember Chelsea. No, right here. Remember that? There was Chelsea. It was a great place. Two floors. But what was the one on 86 betweenth Street. No, right here. Remember that? Chelsea. It was a great place. Then there's two floors. But what was the one on 86th between like second and third or something?

Anyway, this kid in high school, he would just like, he would stop going to high school. I went to middle school with him. He stopped going to high school and just became a hustler. Bro. I don't know how these guys make money. That's the thing. You don't make much. But the thing is, the camaraderie at the pool hall is so fun.

When I was a young man and I first started hanging out in pool halls, because I really didn't play until, really didn't actually play pool until I was 21. And I just had this girl that I dated and she was older than me and she was really competitive. And she wanted to play pool because she thought she was good at pool she'd always try to beat me at pool i got you and uh and i decided that uh i wanted to get good at pool because i didn't want to get beat by this girl yeah so i practiced a little bit and i still sucked but uh i had this weird bug where i was trying to get good at it and then when i moved to new york i fucked my knee up i uh tore my acl fighting how no no just training i was just hitting the bag at the time i just something twisted weird it was real straight it might have been hurt already um but

anyway it blew out and um uh i couldn't do anything physical like it's like anything like with my legs for like it was like six months at least. It was crazy. I had to have a knee brace and shit. And so I started playing pool with my friend John, and we were hanging around these pool halls. And I was like, oh, this is like a weird thing that these people are doing. They're all figuring out how to control their emotions. This isn't as simple as a game. This is like all these people get together, and they all puzzle on how to control their emotions under extreme pressure

and they're all trying to gamble more and more money to make the stakes higher and higher but it's all about who can control their emotions and who can keep that arm straight under extreme pressure all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second uh because some of y'all need to get a new bong to smoke out of smoking out of these whack-ass bongs that's why your throat hurting like crazy because you don't got the glycerin chambers. Keep them nice and frozen so the smoke comes out icy, goes down smooth, comes out smooth, okay? Not hacking, coughing away like you usually do with your whack-ass bong. You need a freeze pipe, simple as that. I don't know what to tell you, buddy. The biggest clouds, the coldest smoke, the smoothest experience, that's freeze pipe. Okay, if you enjoy smoking cannabis or CBD, but you hate that throat

and lung burning, then you got to check out today's sponsor, freeze pipe. This thing right here, simple as that. The secret is freezable glycerin chambers. This thing, frozen, okay? Pipes, bubblers, bongs, all got it. Every single piece. Pop one of these chambers into the freezer for one hour, and as smoke passes through the icy chamber, it's instantly cooled for a dramatically smooth and chilly tow. You'll notice larger clouds, but surprisingly won't feel any throat burn or coughing attacks. I'm telling you, this is the only way to do it. That's why we fuck with shit, man. Not on the pod today. So for the smoothest glass piece at every great price, go to freezepipe.com.

Go to thefreezepipe.com and use the code FLAGRANT for 15% off your order. That's thefreezepipe.com and use the code FLAGRANT. You get 15% off your order. Shop today. Your throat and lungs will thank you. Let's get back to the show. Yo, guys, also,

the Big Dizzy Energy Tour, the one we never got to finish because the pandemic is back. I said, we're going on a tour. We're hitting a lot of big cities. We're selling the fuck out. What do we do? This is what we do.

We sell this shit out the way we're going to do if the pandemic didn't stop us. So go to akashsingh.com for tickets. We are going to be everywhere. We sold out Austin. We're heading to Zany's this weekend in Chicago and Rosemont. Dallas and Fort Worth hyenas at the end of June. Cobbs Comedy Club and San Fran. We're doing Vancouver, Orlando. We're doing the Palisades.

Guys, we are going everywhere. Go to akashsingh.com for all those dates and plenty more. This shit's going to be crazy. Let's get back to the show. Is Elon compromised? What does that even mean? Well, I don't want to say compromised. He might be

compromised by the aliens yeah yeah because he was a little easy to dismiss aliens he goes if they're real they're very subtle yeah he didn't want to go into it at all well i didn't like his pyramid stuff either one of the reasons why maybe just like from a pragmatic perspective guy does one podcast with me. I get him to smoke weed. His stock drops. NASA's mad at him. Wait a minute. Hold on.

And then he bounces back, and everything's fine. So next time we're on the podcast, probably better to dismiss aliens. Yeah. Nonsense, Elon. I don't know. I don't think he has time to think about aliens. Dude runs five fucking companies. For him, it'd probably be really convenient if aliens just stay the fuck out of his way.

He's got shit to do down here. Like, if they land, it's going to ruin everything. Like, if aliens land, you know what kind of chaos it would be? You think it's bad right now with the Republicans versus the Democrats? Like, what happens when the aliens land? You think it's bad or you think we all link up? That's the only time we all link up. That's what we need. That's everyone. Have you not seen Together Holding Hands?

What are we going to do? We're not going to go on that far. But are they bringing their good shit? Are they bringing their good shit? I don't know. Are they bringing their good fighting stuff or are they just exploring? When we send astronauts out to space, we don't send them with any of our good shit. Do you know what an eater robot is? They don't got guns or nothing?

What is that? An eater robot is a robot that runs on biological material. Oh, don't make that. Those are the ones you fucked. No, they've already made it. It's a robot that's powered by biological material. So I'm just saying worst case scenario. Okay.

This is a robot that eats bodies on a battlefield to stay alive. And that's how it powers itself. You can say, no, we don't mean biological material in that way. We mean plant matter and dead rodents and what have you. But there's a real fucking robot that they designed that eats biological material. I mean, who has it? The U.S. has it? It has fuel.

It's called the E-A-T-R. Google it. E-A-T-R robot. All right, now we got... When do you... What? Do you think aliens... This thing, man.

There's a fucking robot that it could eat bodies. And it turns it into fuel. Do you think aliens kill us? I mean, robots kill us? Oh, yeah. Akash is a big robot. I don't think they would want to. Here's the thing. Like, why would they want to? Why would they not want to? This is a cigar.

Oh, nice. Well, it's not why would they not want to, because they would not act illogically. We would have to give them a reason to kill us if they wanted to kill us. Robots are not just going to kill us for no reason. If we're not a threat anymore, what do they give a fuck? But don't we really make everything, real talk, everything worse for every other species?

Oh, don't even say worse. Just say less efficient. Like it might be easier if we're out of here, right? Yeah, or just like if you're looking at the world and you're like, hey, what's the biggest problem that's hurting the world? It's humans. It's not fucking rhinoceros. We're so cynical. We're like, it's impossible for us to change. So let's just assume that we'll never stop shitting all over the world and the robots are going to want to kill us.

I do assume that. Yeah. Okay, here's a question. Do you think it's unfair to tell? Okay, I don't question. Do you think it's unfair to tell... Okay. I don't know how to word this. You know how we had our industrial revolution, right? My man! Right? That was like, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. What just happened? We had the worst handshake ever. Hold on. But no, no. You know how we had our, like, time to fuck the environment up? Now other countries get their time to fuck the environment up. Now other countries get their time to fuck the environment up. Why can we tell them not to?

Well, we have no moral high ground. That's what I'm saying. We had our time in the sun. Now they have theirs. It's okay. Let them use it. I'm not aware of what the environmental regulations are all around the world, obviously. I've not studied that.

But I do know that it's a problem almost everywhere where people burn coal and where people you know like coal burning is crazy you ever see those documentaries on uh people that live and there's a certain area of indiana where there's a bunch of coal plants near the. What's it called? October Sky. That's what it was about? It's nasty. You go by people's cars, you can just swipe your hand on a windshield and you have this coal dust. It's in the air. People are breathing it. All kinds of people are having all kinds of

respiratory diseases as I suck on this cigar. They're poisoning people. These people are poisoning people. Yeah, for sure. And they're doing it in the name of making power. Like a coal-fired power plant that does that, you should start it. You go, I have an experiment. Let's see what happens when we burn coal and make electricity.

Okay, let's try it. Oh, it's super efficient. Seems to work really well, but it really fucks up the sky yeah let's not do that it should be like let's not fuck up the sky but back then they're like let's fuck up the sky

just in this spot that's what fracking is well fuck up the water right here come on it won't touch the other water a couple of little fishes trying to get gas and electric to these people.

The indigenous communities need electricity. Just fracking on that's what they do though. In the land and letting them make bigger casinos. It's the craziest shit. No fucking predecessors of ours would have never guessed

that we'd be hanging on this long. Really? Like this. The way we are like this, yeah. Wait, how much longer do you think we've got? Not much time. Wait, really? Yeah.

I think, unfortunately, the way things have unraveled over the last couple years, I have zero faith that we're going to keep this thing glued together for another 10 years or 20 years. Stop. Robots, some cataclysmic. There's so much vitriolic. I think every generation thinks that because you're living through it. You're like, oh, this shit can't get worse

than it is right now. My parents never thought the world was going to end in 10 years. I'll tell you that right now. Tell that to the residents of Namasaki. Where's Namasaki? Nagasaki? Nagasaki. That would have been way better if I got the name wrong.

That's high. I was thinking of Mario. I thought there was some new shit. Mario Yamasaki. Oh, yeah. I was thinking of Yomi Park. No, I got my words stumbled. I should have said Hiroshima, but I was trying to be crafty.

I choked. Damn it. Under pressure. Live podcast. Fuck. I just want to apologize to anybody I might have insulted doing this podcast. I've barely been myself.

Yo, Namasaki. In a fog of chemicals since the moment we got here. Andrew Schultz insisted that we get intoxicated. This is not true. That is true. This is a Joe Rogan idea. You pressured everybody here. This is a Joe Rogan idea.

You pressured everybody. He wanted madness. I do like madness. I'm not going to lie. I tried to start a team with some steak talk. You pressured everybody. He wanted madness. I do like madness. I'm not going to lie. I tried to start a team with some steak talk. You know what I like? I like madness

with food portion talk. I like madness with nice people. Food portion talk. Why did I think that was the best way to begin the podcast? It just came to me

in a moment. I didn't think about it that much. Every podcast is like a small little colt that walks on baby legs. And then it's going to develop a little trot, and then it gets going. Right now.

Right now we're going. We're a fucking horse right now. We're a full horse. We're running. Can we talk about one crazy conspiracy? What are you doing? Go pee. We got this. Do you know where the pee room is?

I'm going to piss right over there. Yo, if you piss in the plants, it would be hilarious. If you pee on the plants, it would be... Yo, piss in the plants, Joe. The plastic plants. Those are real. So they need your nutrients. Those are real, bro.

Touch them. They're real. You think Doug would get fake plants? He'll kill Doug. He'll kill him. You're going to plant something and go. By pissing your plants? Oh, shit. I'm on it.

Yeah, water. Do it, Doug. Do that shit, Doug. Do it. Do it, Doug. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. I don't know if you know about me, but I really don't respond to peer pressure.

I'll be right back. I'm gonna urinate like a fucking gentleman! Order pizza from all the places. Oh my god, I'm a new man. We're getting pizza from all the places. Let's get some pizza, bro. We're getting pizza. We're getting pizza and get some fucking pepperoni and shit.

Mix it up. If Joe Rogan wants pizza, we're getting pizza stuff. We're getting pizza and get some fucking pepperoni and shit and mix it up. If Joe Rogan wants pizza, we're getting pizza, bro. Simple as that. I did not ask for pizza. Just like I did not ask for this to be a drunken, intoxicated extravaganza. This is a lie. This is not my idea. I said I would play along with it.

This is your suggestion. He demanded it. He suggested it. That's true. That's true. That's not asking. That's true. I need Yon Mead Park's number before you leave, Doug.

Hey! We sent each other so many emojis of the weightlifting guy. The weight. We get it, dog. We get it. Fuck you explaining it to us. Alex looked lost. Alex, hide.

I got it. It was a squat emoji He never done that That's why Listen guys Don't light your fucking nose On fire dog That was wild

Don't worry about it bro I got a couple of Forehead hairs I didn't like Twinge them That's what happens You lose all your hair On the head

And you get them In the ear and you get them in the ear area i get one on this one right here it's a sure sign of misfiring your dna is reverting back to monkey self growing fucking ear hair and shit as you slowly fade away how long you think you think you've got? How long do you think you've got, Jeff? How many years? Well, if Joe Biden gets re-elected, I think I've got about four. Wait, really, you think?

I don't know, man. I'm kidding. Who do you think goes after Joe? Doing a comedy podcast? Yo, why'd you do that, man? Why'd you do that? He's so rude. You guys are so serious.

What the fuck is wrong with you, dog? He's not got four years to live. You see if Joe Biden wins, you're like, really? No, I thought, I was like, you think he's going to win? You're turning a fucking Oprah? Can I be thoughtful on this one? Can I be compassionate? Can I be empathetic?

No, you cannot. That's what makes it unbelievable. Oh, okay. That's a good ass point. No, you make a good ass point. Joe Biden, alpha brain, black label. Go get some. It's real. It's legit. It works. Yeah.

I'm a living testament. I barely got out of high school. I have a phenomenal memory. No, your recall is crazy, bro. I'm going to take this shit, Alpha Brain. Don't just take that because I said to. But there's a bunch of other stuff you should try. Joe, we've been promoting Alpha Brain on this podcast.

I love it. Alpha Brain is great. No, no, no. There's other stuff that helps your brain. Akash wants to get chiseled. Neurogum. Oh, you want to get big? Yeah, he wants to get big. Not even big.

He wants to be slim. His body is felt. Like a swimmer? Joe, what's everything you take? Everything. Everything. That was sexual. Most of it is like the big results come from testosterone replacement.

So there's that. Most of it is like the big results come from testosterone replacement. So there's that, and then there's peptides that increase your body's ability to grow hormones, like growth hormone and IGF-1. There's – Peptides is mad. Yeah, there's BBC 157, and there's another thing. Now what? Now what, dummy? I think it's called – I'm going to Google it later.

Hypomoral. You've Googled BBC. I'm going to fucking these names up, And then another one's called thymus. And what these things do is they, they help your body produce the hormones that it should have when you're younger and your body works better. And if you do that and you regularly exercise, that's the biggest thing.

If there's ever one thing that someone could do to stop aging, it's lift weights and don't stop and don't do it for vanity do it because you want to keep your tissue like think of it as like age is like a little demon that's slowly robbing you of your tissue christian your ability to walk upstairs your ability to open up jars your ability to open the car door when it's frozen. All that shit is real. And the only way to stave that off is weightlifting. You have to lift heavy things and you have to, you don't want to do anything too heavy where you hurt yourself, but you want to get

your body accustomed to this idea that in order to survive, it has to lift things and you need to give that body nutrients. And I don't care if you like lift your own body, your body's heavy. You can do chin ups and pushups and body squats. That's all great stuff. You don't need to lift heavy weights in terms of your, your own body is assuming at least a hundred pounds. That's pretty fucking heavy. When I do kettlebells, I don't do anything heavier than 70 pounds for the most part. That's the heaviest shit I ever lived so it's mostly just full body motion that makes your body know that this is a regular part of your life so the normal deterioration that most people experience you can stave that off for the most part and there's a real potential in the future with genetic editing and all kinds of wacky shit that they're experiencing. They're experimenting on all sorts of stuff

that could extend lifespans in a radical way. CRISPR. There's CRISPR, but there's a couple other things they're doing too. And who knows what the fuck they're doing in China. What do you mean? They could be doing anything because they're not impaired by the same

sort of ethics. Yeah, they don't have to tell anybody anything. They can work hand and fist with the government. And nobody has to know nothing about what's going on. You know, that's why they can develop all kinds of shit without like the normal restrictions. Their government and their businesses are like that. They're inexorably connected. The businesses don't get to make decisions that are bad for the government.

If they do, they disappear, dudes. Okay, let's go conspiracy theory. Let's go. How different? How different? Okay. I see you, Miles. Conspiracy more than a high guy.

Okay, here's the conspiracy. Are Joe Coy and Chelsea Handler really in a relationship? No. No, no, no, no. No, you did not do that. Shield this man. Don't do this. Why would you put that on Joe, bro?

Don't do this. I said don't do this. It was Alex Jones was hitting me nonstop. He said, there's something awry here. Seems like a false flag. I want to remind you. Middle-aged crisis actors. I want to remind you.

Did you just, you did not just say what I think you said. What the fuck did you say? Middle-aged crisis actors. No. And I corrected it. What the fuck did you say? Midlife crisis actors. No, son. And I corrected it. Because you said middle age crisis actors. And then you realized midlife crisis actors. Actually, it's teamwork.

It's teamwork, bro. It's cleaner. It's the cleaner bit. Hold on. Okay, but we love Joe on this podcast. You know Chelsea. I love Chelsea. I wrote a thing about one of her books.

I wrote a little blurb. Oh, really? Back in the day. She was phenomenal. I knew her from the comic store. She was always cool. No, no. Back at her show, she was great.

She was great. Her interviewing was great. It was different. What happened? The tone of this room just changed to bullshit. No. I'll be honest with you. No, I think she was fucking great.

I'm not saying she's not. I'm not saying she's not. But I'm just saying there's a general tone. Let's say something nice right now. Yep. That's real fast. He just called out the moment, yo. I love that. Okay, Terry.

Oh, you felt like I needed to justify. No, no, you don't. You definitely don't. Both of y'all did that shit. We're just talking shit. He's like, oh, I wrote a blurb for her. Yeah, both did that shit. Oh, fuck.

Because we felt bad. We felt like we were trashy. Yeah, both did that, Jay. 100%. Because we felt bad. We felt like we were trashing them. Yeah, we're not trashing anybody. That's the thing. It's like I don't like trashing fellow comedians. I really don't. I genuinely, genuinely don't. No.

Did that change after Mencia? You felt a little bad? Yes, 100%. Really? You felt bad about it? During the moment of it, I realized how much negativity it creates. I was almost looking at like if it was a system, right? If you're looking at a system, you're looking at like you input X and you get back this. And I'm like, okay, a good thing was done where people weren't in danger of having their intellectual property taken by someone who's far more successful.

But the weird thing was the anger. Like watching the anger, it's like you're throwing meat to a group of fucking piranhas. Like there's just this buzzing of people joining on one side or the other side. And I realized like a lot of this is not logical. And it's one of the problems with the way human beings interact with each other that we just choose teams and it's like a normal natural inclination that we can't escape no matter how logical you are like even if you're like a super logical person you're still there's some part of you that has an inclination towards teams so how do you push yourself away from it just kind

of recognize what it is like Like, know when it pops up and just go, this is a dumb road. But is that tough for you? Like, when you get shit on by one side specifically and then the other side

is like, yo, you're pretty cool. How hard is it for you to just stay even? It's okay. Like, I would shit on me

for sure. Wait, really? If I didn't know me, yeah. For what exactly? Some other comic, I would make fun me. For sure. Wait, really? If I didn't know me, yeah. For what exactly? Some other comic. I would make fun of me totally.

What would you say? Oh, I'd say terrible things about steroid use and insecurities and being short. I'd have a lot of great jokes about me. Really? It'd be a lot of fun. So you don't even, when people make fun of you, do you care? Well, you can care, but it's not going to change the way they think. Like, it's not good if you hear it.

Like, if someone said it to my face, I'd be like, that's mean. Like, why are you being mean to me? I don't even know you. People will say mean things to you just to try to get a reaction out of you. But those people are usually way more dangerous than the average person that says something online. The average person that says something online the average person says something online it's like you're not even connected like maybe you are it's like you're you're like you're you're trapped in a cave and there's like a tunnel that goes up to the air and you're like

fuck you yeah you're not connected to that person you're not in front of them if someone is mean to you in front of you that's a real problem yeah and weirdness is when it spills over when people get used to communicating with people the way they do on the internet and they try to do it in real life and you see it all the time in world star videos just get fucked up because they think they can talk shit but they talk shit on the internet they think they can just get away with it like they don't have the same amount if you're if you're 24 and you lived in 1976 or if you're 24 and you live now, you've got a totally different type of interaction with people. These fucking people are interacting with people in a text form 60% of the time. So if that's a part of your development and everybody agrees, I agree that people who grow up in sort of like touch and go environments, they're a little slicker.

Right? We call it street smarts. People are like, if you don't have any of that. Forget it. It's over. You're fucked. And if all you're doing is texting, you're not experiencing life. You're trapped in your house.

You're trapped in a disconnect. You're sitting on the couch getting a fucking neck cramp because you're fucking texting. Yeah. That's the people of today. That's what's weird about it. You're not designed for that. So the human brain has to find a way to catch up. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because it's that motherfucking NBA finals. You know you're putting money down, and why would you not want to win more money?

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Nothing. That's what I was thinking. I wouldn't do a thing different. I took the hit. But it's like the hit wasn't bad because I was right, and eventually I knew they would realize I was right, and I would wish that he would realize I was right. Well, the hate I also felt. Well, people don't realize you took a hit.

I think a lot of people's history view is you called out Mencia, and then you had the biggest podcast on the planet. That's true also. Yeah. They don't know what you went through afterwards. It wasn't bad. It was not bad. Bad things happen.

For comic standards, I think it is. Well, I got banned from the comedy store. That was a real problem. Because it wasn't Mitzi Shore's idea. The real problem was I was on the phone with Mitzi more than an hour before they called me to tell me I was banned. So I was on the phone with Mitzi like more than an hour before they called me to tell me I was banned. So I was on the phone with Mitzi and I told her out of respect what had happened. I said, Mitzi, I go, we are fucking tired of this guy stealing jokes. Like Carlos, are you sure he's stealing? Mitzi, we have videos of it. He's a fucking thief. And so we had this conversation on the phone

and she goes, well well just keep away from him so i told her that we're going to release this video she goes well just keep away from him i go i'll do whatever you want me to do and she goes okay you want to go up tonight and i said sure what time you want to put me up she was all 10 30 i go thank you very much i love you that's the last time i talked to her well that's sad then I got a call an hour later, and I realized, like, she was in a state where Mitzi Shore is, like, legitimately, if you looked at all of the people that are important in the development of comedy, she's the number one most important person that wasn't a comic.

Wow. Number one. Why? Why is Mitzi Shore the people who don't know? Because she led the comedy one. Why? She led the comedy store. Mitzi Shore owned the comedy store. Oh, I'm sorry. Mitzi Shore is Pauly Shore's mom. She's like,

she started the comedy store with her husband. They got divorced. She got the comedy store. And she ran the comedy store in a way where she was a strong lady. And she had fucking strong ideas about what was good and what was bad and she would tell you right to your face she would tell you i fucking hate that bitch did she ever say that to you yes what's she saying i had this bit about

ann nicole smith and her husband she fucking hated that bit because she jay howard marshall that dude who was like 150 years old yeah Biden I had this bit genius he was older than Biden he was Biden's dad but

but she was responsible for the environment of the comedy store where she just let the comedians express themselves the best way that they could and give them a home

and and set these standards. And for those who don't know, the Comedy Store, Pryor, Kinison, Bill Hicks, so many legends

worked out there. Yeah, Eddie Griffin, Damon Wayans was there a lot. Martin Lawrence was there a lot. It was like Dice Clay. So many people came out of that place and it was chaos. It didn't always work out

perfectly but she designed it in a way where she could create a place where these really fucked up people could come and perform and she would call it her island of misfit toys she knew what she was doing man and you know you know she's a completely unusual person why there's nobody very few people just dedicate themselves to a thing like that and like have You know, she's a completely unusual person. Why? There's nobody, very few people just dedicate themselves to a thing like that. And like have this idea of like what's the right way to do it. And they're right. She was right.

She was right so often. Yeah. Like someone would call and complain about Kenison. She would, I don't give a fuck. She didn't give a fuck. She didn't give a fuck. The place is packed every night. She did not give a fuck. But how is she a fuck. The place is packed every night. She did not give a fuck. But how is she okay with Mencia then?

Because this is why I... She didn't know, and I also think she was having some legitimate health problems with it, unfortunately. When I first met her in 94, she was already struggling a little. And then as time went on, it got worse. And I don't think, if people don't come to her and complain, I don't think she necessarily knows, unless she's watching every single set, who came up with this bit first. She doesn't know. Right? So if you just come down for one 20-minute set, and you see someone kill, and you go, oh, my God, he's hilarious. If you had come 20 minutes before, you might have saw Paul Mooney do his version of it.

Right. Right? And if that was the case, maybe then she would be able to go, hey, what the fuck? But like I said, even in the 90s, she was already struggling. You know? She had a, I think it was a neurological disorder. And, you know, it was hard for her. So I don't blame her, but she had ideas that didn't necessarily work, but you fucking never know what's going to work.

How many people did we started out with that were like open micers? I think about that. I think about that. You knew they were funny. Yeah. And they just fucking, they fell apart on re-entry? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Think about that like the first friend i knew that there was a comic that stopped and they were funny too uh-huh but they just didn't want to go through it there's a girl that i dated when i was 21 as a girl i dated when we were both open micers together she was funnier than me like she was so funny she was hilarious she was fucking hilarious. And I remember thinking, if I don't make it as a comedian, at least I fucked her. This lady's the next Roseanne.

She's so good. She was a killer. And then what happened? I don't know. Stopped it. I don't know. I don't know. I lost track. I lost touch with her. We stayed friends. I want to know her Stopped it. I don't know. I don't know. I lost track. I lost touch with her.

We stayed friends, but— I want to know her name. Yeah, I moved to New York. I don't want to say it. And when I moved to New York, I don't know. It just stopped. Yeah. I mean, back then, you had so few opportunities.

And if you didn't get one, I imagine it would just wear you down. Because you're just toiling at that point. Yeah. Like, this internet shit is so different. It's so different. Well, I've been through both things yeah and uh the what what it really makes me understand like more than anything is like how important it is to like share share success and like get everybody out of that horrible period in the beginning where you don't know if you're going to make it because the more people that you can get that are convinced that they could be professionals, the more you're going to get those dudes that we remember from the open mic days that didn't make it.

I think about that girl all the time. I think about her. She was fucking funny, man. She was funny. She had a witty way of looking at things. And I'm like, she was 21. We were both 21. I'm like, what would have happened to her when she was 29?

What about when she's 33? She might be a murderer right now. She might be straightening up slaying on Netflix. Yeah. Selling out arenas. Just walking out there. People. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was that good. But for whatever reason, there's not, you know, back then it was dog eat dog. And everybody thought they were going to be the host of The Tonight Show. Well, there was two shows. Yeah. And then maybe you get a half hour. And then there was the eat dog. Everybody thought they were going to be the host of The Tonight Show. Well, there was two shows. And then maybe you get a half hour. And then there was the sitcom game. The sitcom game when Tim Allen got his show and Roseanne got her show and Seinfeld and Brett Butler. Then the whole game became get a deal to do a sitcom.

And craft an act that seems like a pilot. He would do an act that was like a pilot yeah like you would you would do an act that was like a pilot for a sitcom and we all got intoxicated by the sitcom world yeah i don't know if he did it on i mean i loved his show but ray romano's we seem like looking back it's like oh his whole comedy was ray romano was my character on news radio and he got fired no wait really yes ray romano was the original handyman on news radio and he got fired why ray was a good friend of mine i love until this day he's a good friend of mine i love him great he's brilliant and i i opened for ray at a bowling alley yeah i think it's jimmy's comedy

alley i think that's what it was called in queens yeah like way back in the day and i remember sitting in the audience with uh my friend watching ray romano just straight murder going god damn he's good yeah he's so good and then a year later we are in this situation where uh i have a development deal with nbc to do my own show but then there's this other show that they've already shot a pilot for but they're going to fire this dude. Do you know? He just didn't test well? I had no idea. I had no idea what happened. He never found out? But here's the good thing. They fired him and then hired

another guy to do the pilot. So I was once removed. So I felt like I'm okay. It's already gone. I'm stealing it from this other dude who stole it from you he did okay by the way yeah oh my god well then you know like kevin james and i were good friends and he was good friends with ray too so we would all eat together and like this was right when ray was creating everybody loves raymond yeah and he was like sitting there with like

scripts and shit and talking to us. That motherfucker was obsessed. Good. That show became amazing because that dude was dedicated. We're at Jerry's Famous Deli eating Reuben. Yeah. And Ray is just going over the script. We're running jokes and shit. I'm like, damn, this dude is fired up. That's so amazing.

Yeah. The best stand-up comedic actor I've ever seen. As a comedic actor and stand-up, stand-up primarily, he was a fucking great comedic actor. And you know what's just as important? Really good dude. Yeah. What you expect is what you get. Real solid, real cool dude. I was at the Cellar once, and he's just, like, the calmest, chillest guy.

Right? Like, not high energy, nothing crazy. And we're sitting at the back table, chillest guy, right? Like not high energy, nothing crazy. And we're sitting at the back table and we're talking about something. And I was like, yeah, you know, I'm from New York, but I went to school out in California. And I go, yeah, I went to UC Santa Barbara. And he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wild school, wild school. And I was like, yeah, there's a lot of parties.

He goes, oh, no, no, no. My son went there during the school shooting. And his son was at the school. Do you remember there was like a school shooting at ucsb no his son was at the school during that there's so many school shootings now yeah yeah i can't remember i feel so embarrassed that specific here have you thought about no alpha brain here in america you mean yeah well i think the problem is that it is a great way to get a lot of attention and to do the most horrific thing to a society that you feel like has abandoned you. If you want to, if you hate the world, one of the worst things you could do is kill kids. Yeah.

So that's the scariest thing for all of us. Yeah. When you have children, you'll have this feeling. It's like the world becomes a completely different place and what which is one of the things like i was thinking one of the things that happened to me when i became a parent and also just as i became older and i watched children grow and become older and wiser and figure things out i realized we're all just babies that grew up and i used to meet a person, I think,

oh, this guy's an idiot. But now I look at someone, I literally like, I look at you and I think of you as a baby. And I think of you going through your life and getting to who you are now. And it just instantaneously develops more empathy for people. Instantaneously. It's like, it's a paradigm shift, like the most profound psychedelic experience you could ever have yeah and it makes you realize that this whole thing that we do with like teams or othering people or this not you all that stuff is just fear it's a giant percentage of what we're doing when we're interacting with people poorly is just fear. We're fearful that they're going to be cruel to us, so we want to be cruel first.

And there's like chest bumping. Most people just want to be loved. I remember talking to my cousin who's a psychiatrist, and then I just started therapy or whatever. And I was like, oh, are we basically all just uh our personality is just adding up all our defense mechanisms and he was like yeah that's basically you're just a bunch of defense mechanisms into a human being yeah there's a lot of that because you're accustomed to in terms of your dna your dna is accustomed to fighting off predators fucking bears and big cats that's that's our past all human beings we didn't get here instantaneously.

We got here through a long, bloody, horrific process where a lot of babies got eaten by wolves. That's why the Little Red Riding Hood, all that shit was about wolves. That's why it was about wolves because wolves used to eat people. Do you know they stopped World War I because of wolves? No. Do you know there was a ceasefire there was a ceasefire between the russians and the germans because so many of

them were getting killed by wolves they decided to let's fuck they decided to decided to get together and kill the wolves and then go back to killing each other. No. Yes. I saw that picture of them playing soccer on Christmas. They did that too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How? Because they were trapped. They were trapped in a crazy world.

And the world's still crazy. It's just crazy with more information. Is it possible to indoctrinate people with love for country more now, you think? Neuralink. Well, that's the scary thing, right? That's the scary thing about the Neuralink, right? If you

can control something that's going on in someone's brain, I don't need the news. I don't need influencers on Joe Rogan's podcast. If you can control it. But if it's something that can't be controlled. Well, how do they prove that? I don't know. Would you let them do it to you?

Well, they're controlling things already. If you look at the world like a system and you look at the amount of resources and money that's pumped into controlling specific narratives, they're already controlling things. But they're doing it because we choose to opt into our phone. Yeah, but it's not negotiable. Like what? You're not going to stop using your phone. No, I'm going to keep using my phone but at least I can be like, oh, you're showing this because if I see an ad for fucking toaster ovens, maybe we spoke about toaster ovens yesterday

and now I see the ad. But if you don't even have to convince me, at least there's one layer. But if you're already in here and you make me think I want to vote that way, you don't think that that's a little bit... But how are you doing that? How are you making someone think that they're going to vote a certain way? If you can make my dad have memory again, if you can make anybody do anything, you can make them think anything you want. I think there's a real problem with narratives, right?

There's a real problem with pushing narratives and not letting people really decide what's going on objectively. But I don't know if any one person is ever going to have control of that. I think there's like this wave thing that happens back and forth. It's like Twitter comes and everything goes left. And who knows if people abandon that and go right. It's just like this weird, wild sort of wrestling match of human beings trying to figure out what the fuck to do. Yeah, society is just a bunch of overcorrections each way it seems like. There's a lot of that, yeah.

There's a lot of that, yeah. And a lot of that is done, unfortunately, because of a lack of honesty. If more people were honest and we put a lot of value and honesty and a lot of honor in it, I I think you could have like better conversations. Of course. And then we would find out why people are behaving the way they're behaving. But right now there's like a lot of like I want my team to win so I'll bullshit about stuff. Yes.

The problem with that is like my friend Johnny who used to compliment people that he didn't even like. Like you got to be able to do that. Yeah. You got to be like that guy's a fucking dick. But you know what he does this is what he does like he's an asshole but his father is they make the best fucking pizza i hate the dude but i'll go to his place he would tell you shit like that that's that was fun that's what i love about about stand-up yeah is that like even the guys that were assholes couldn't be denied as funny oh no like there was a guy do you ever

know todd lynn i think he's oh yeah he you know he's passed he is passed right yeah yeah so todd lynn like was a fucking hilarious i didn't know for certain but i know he had a baby arm he had a baby arm been dead yo but i probably performed at one of his fundraisers have i i performed at his fundraiser shouts to to Todd Lynn and his family. I performed at his fundraiser. Mark P. Abolt is hosting. Mark's so funny. Shouts to Mark.

And this is one of his good friends. And Mark is passing around the bucket. This is how big of a dick Todd Lynn was. Mark is passing around the bucket for people to donate money. He's like, if you knew Todd, he wasn't necessarily the nicest guy. He's asking for money. But this motherfucker was so goddamn funny. Really? Bro. Oh, he's a monster money but this motherfucker was so god damn funny really

bro oh he's a monster dude bro shit on me for bombing him in front of him and then just crushed for 40 minutes

and he had a baby on him wow he had like a baby on him like no no like you know yeah and he was still talking that shit

it was so funny but everybody was doing an asshole and there's a lot of people like this like Patrice is the greatest I've ever seen my favorite

but a lot of people would be like yo Patrice was kind of an asshole but you couldn't deny him Patrice wasn't an asshole. There's a lot of people like this. Patrice is the greatest I've ever seen. My favorite. But a lot of people would be like, yo, Patrice was kind of an asshole. But you couldn't deny him. Patrice wasn't an asshole to everybody. That's facts. He was always nice to me. Yeah, because he thought you were a real one, bro. He's nice. Patrice was nice. He was just, you had to be able to take a fucking joke.

You had to be able to take a joke. You had to be able to take it right out of the chin and laugh right back. Wow, what did he say, Joe? Oh, he was always funny always he was just always funny about everything he Patrice had a way of looking at things where we would all talk

and they would wait for Patrice's point he was one of those guys if you talked to Patrice and hung out with him I hung out with him in Vegas once we were all at the backstage at one of those Opie and Anthony shows he was just such a I remember hanging out with him going, man, I wish I lived closer to him. Yep.

He was that guy. But luckily I had Joey Diaz. Joey's your guy. Joey Diaz, the West Coast Patrice. Yeah. He was very much like that. Joey Diaz was very much like that. We would all line up the back of the room when Joey Diaz was lighted on fire.

Yeah. And all the people I've ever seen kill, I've never seen anybody hit Joey Diaz RPMs. He would have these bits that they were so funny that you couldn't, he could say things you weren't allowed to say. Because he was like a human cartoon. You weren't even sure if he was real. This guy, wait, is he Spanish? His timing was fucking perfect and he would nail punch lines and turn beet red and people would be falling out of their seats yeah there's multiple

times i've been in that original room where i go god i wish we were filming this yeah i wish we're filming this because i don't think i don't think anybody's gonna understand if they're not here right now you know you know fahim just put out his special. Yes. And shout out to Fahim. Go check out Hat Trick. But that idea for the special, that's what I wanted to see. I wanted to see Joey do that, too.

Because Joey, for me, I was like, you have to understand him within the space of the store. Yeah. I don't know. There's something magical about it. And I didn't understand it until I went out there and I saw him for the first time. You had been telling me a lot about him, and I remember just sitting and watching. And it was, yeah, it was special, man. I'm working with Joey in Atlantic City this weekend for the first time in years.

God bless. I haven't been on stage with him in like two years. God bless. I got to watch him. Yeah. I told him, whatever you want to do. What do I have to do to fucking get you back in there? I'm like, dude.

Is this his first time back on stage? No, no. He's been on stage a bunch of times. Okay, good. He did a bunch of shows with Brian Callen, and he's tuned up. He's ready to rock. I'm so excited. I can't believe we got him back.

Yeah. Nah. Yeah, Joey's a fucking beast. He was like, you have specific roles in these communities. In the Comedy Store community, Joey Diaz was just pure chaos. You would drop him in. During the drug Joey days, during the early days when he was a straight-up criminal, he reminded me so much of my friend Johnny.

So much. Johnny who's the pool hustler. The pool hustler, yeah, yeah, yeah. Joey was just like him yeah like a wild dude from the streets but like a good dude yeah like i knew he was a good like a good solid dude and we were friends like instantly and he would come to the news radio set and he was a gorilla back then i mean he was like uh you know way thinner and like built like, don't you do it. Don't you do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was wearing a leather jacket built like a football player. And all those NBC studio executives would get mad because he was eating all of their snacks. Okay. Let the man tell the story. Jesus. Jesus Christ. You fucking child.

You children. I would laugh too. I would laugh too. I would laugh too. I would laugh too. So wait a minute, he would just show up to set just to see. I would come with him. I would bring him with me. But he wasn't on the show.

He was just hanging out. No, he's my boy. Get him on track, Andrew. This is like 1996. We were both like, I was probably like 28, and Joey was a little older than me. Joey had just got to L.A. straight from prison. Oh, he's in and out of jail.

I think he was running from something in Seattle. He had to come back to L.A. There's a warrant out for him for the longest time. He couldn't get a passport to go places. He kidnapped a drug dealer with a machine gun. Fire. Wow. No, Joey Diaz did real time.

Joey Diaz is... But he's a uniquely beautiful soul. And even though I knew all that shit that he did real time and everything, I knew... I'm like,

I know what you are. I know what you are. You're a great guy who just had a crazy life. You collect these guys. These guys are valuable. They're everything. They're life, man. Those are Sam Kennison's.

Those are the Richard Pryor's. But why do you think? Because they don't fit in and that's how you see what it is for real. If you're not a part of it, you see what it is for real. Because you don't have to operate based on the part of it. You're not operating in that system. Joey Diaz found his mother dead on the floor

when he was on acid no that's what he was like 14 years old yeah whoa yeah when you're part of a community when he tells that story yeah you're fucking your goosebumps just stand up you're like what yeah so it's like those type of people from that angst and that unusual view of the world have to find themselves yes and sometimes themselves is a little outside of the norm it's outside of the group they find it through the most potent form of entertainment yeah all of our great rock stars all of our great comics all of our great hip-hop artists all of them come from crazy backgrounds not all of them obviously that's a big generalization but i'm trying to make my point no i understand what you're saying i think they don't get it joey diaz in a suburb yeah yeah but but more it's like there's a there's a freedom

to being outside if you're willing to harness yes and the freedom is you get to actually find who you are well the reality is there's no real outside like people feel like they're outside but so many people feel like they're outside there's a lot of people and when you go to a comedy club all the other people also feel like they don't get it they laugh at your point they go yes yeah yes yeah yeah yeah and even if if even it if what you're saying is wrong, but it's funny. It's like that's where it's like we're fucking with the wiring. One of my favorite bits that you do is that bit that you do about countries where they treat their women terribly. Got the best food, boy.

Got the best food. You ever eat Canadian food? That bit is so good. Look, if you were a terrible person and you wanted to misrepresent who you are, you would write that, oh, this is just saying that women belong in the kitchen. That's not what they're saying.

You're saying something funny. It's a funny thing to say. I did this talk with Noam from the Comedy Cellar. Do you know Noam? Yeah. You would love Noam. I know Noam. Okay, good. I worked at his club way, way, way back. I know, but he's an interesting guy.

No, I think you should connect you with Noam. I can get you an audition at the Comedy Cellar. That could be good for you, dude. That could be good, yeah. Moving on up. Shout out to all these comedy club owners, man, without them. He had an interesting conversation he had this like talk where there were these like intellectual dudes this guy named

glenn lowry do you know yeah yeah so him and a few other dudes and uh and they had some comics on stage and we're just talking about you know random things and comedy and political correctness and culture etc and uh and there was like just it was just like a moment on stage where i was talking like, we should never be together. We don't have to have these conversations because you guys say what's right and we say what's funny

and I think what happens is the people that say what's right expect the people that say what's funny to be right and that's where our jokes become more than jokes and where we get in trouble. If we're just out here just making jokes and talking shit and just being funny with no stakes, and then people look at us and they're like, oh no,

these are the next intellectuals. They are going to tell us how to think. That's when we can't make the craziest jokes. Well, one of the arguments is that if you say crazy things in the name of being funny, then other people that are not as smart as you will say those things and they'll be hurtful. They'll feel like

they have license to say those things. Maybe. I had a drag queen tell me that after a show. Maybe. It was very intimidating. She was wearing kiss boots. But it's one of those things, it's like, I don't know if you're responsible

for the dumbest people in your audience. You're not. I don't know how that works. You're not. I feel like at a certain point in time, we have to agree that most people love comedy. If you don't love in time we have to agree that we most people love comedy if you don't love comedy you have to opt out of this conversation so if you love comedy you must agree that a lot of what people say they don't mean they just think it's a funny thing to

say like this is an art form just like quentin tarantino is not really killing women when he's making once upon a time in hollywood there's no dead women involved in the production of that movie. Correct. The violent movies, violent rap, Eminem getting all those things. Let's just move toward comedy. It'll move on eventually. The problem is it seems like you're just talking. It seems like it's not like something you've created, that you've manipulated language in order to get a surprise result that makes people go,

and it seems like your statements, because they sound just like everybody else when they talk. Manipulated language in order to get a surprise result that makes people go, bah! Yeah. And it seems like your statements, because they sound just like everybody else when they talk. Yes. But I also think it's because that's how we feel, and we can have wrong feelings. And I think that's the biggest difference. What's wrong, though? If you feel it. You don't have to like it.

You cut you off in traffic, and you might think the worst possible thing for that car and then three seconds later you go ah it was just upset in the moment there's i mean don't don't people like get out of don't people like uh oh yeah they don't get life in jail for murdering somebody because they had moments of rage you know what that's from temporary insanity temporary insanity you know what that's what comedy is temporary insanity if this is my crazy thought in the moment and and then I'm going to say it again, and it's going to be funny, but I don't feel that way anymore. Simple as that. What did you say? Comedy is temporary insanity.

No. My funniest moment, my funniest thought, and my knee-jerk reaction to something, and I'm going to craft it and add words and add ideas and wrap myself around it. What? Marijuana might not be for you. What are you saying right you. You were trying to defend some insufferable position. Yo, the joke about the woman food thing.

I don't think you should actually treat her. He didn't say it was a wrong position. He said it was insufferable. That's a great word. You can throw people off your trail. It's like covering your trash with leaves it sucks it doesn't mean it's wrong

it's a solid word if you're trying to be deceptive you know trying to infiscate obfuscate whatever obfuscate somebody got a high score on his SAT let's go bro yeah yeah yeah fuck it yeah fuck it, dude.

Let's just make the jokes. Who gives a fuck what anybody says about it? If they want to write think pieces, who gives a fuck? Well, the thing is, it's like they represent a valid group of humans who have their opinions. But the problem is if they try to impose those opinions on people who have different opinions. So there's some people who love shit-talking comedy. That's what we do. If you want to pretend that everything I have to say I always mean

I'm checking out. I'm not interested in doing that. I want to talk the same way I talk around my friends. I want to talk the same way I talk around comics. We know we're all having fun and talking shit and I want to do that to the moment they say ladies and gentlemen, Joe Rogan, hey, what's up?

I want to talk to those people like I talk to my best friends. I want to develop bits that are as funny as I can make them, and I don't mean all the things I'm saying, but I'm going to hit you with the best shit I have. Funny is in the outcast, whether that's the person on a TV show that's weird or the thought that should get you outcast on stage. Like Kinison. He's the ultimate outcast, right? Wearing a beret and a trench coat.

Yelling at you. Screaming. Used to be a preacher. What the fuck happened to this guy? Ultimate outcast. What fucking class of people does he fit into? He's out of the Christians. He's gone.

Like, where's he fitting in? Hollywood? He's like five foot four. He's fat as where's he fitting in hollywood he's like five foot four he's fat as fuck he wears a beret yeah he's got a trench coat on but when that dude would get on stage he'd be like whoa what is this a new kind of comedy what the fuck is going on yeah and all the people that have ever like like completely ignited a completely different style of comedy he's my number one really yeah? Yeah, man, because out of nowhere, he's doing this wild, screaming, yelling,

like, passionate preacher comedy. Yeah. He was doing a fucking tent revival preacher comedy. Right. That's what he did. He was one of Rock's favorites, which kind of makes sense. Dude, that's interesting. Because they're both essentially preaching.

Yes, yes. But Rock, he's one of Rock's favorites because Rock saw him in like the 86, 88 era. I saw him in 88. I got to saw him, 88 was, he was on the slide. And this is as a lifelong diehard Sam Kiddeson fan. I'm not saying this in any disrespect. I think he's one of the greatest of all time.

But I think you have to judge comics as the highest RPMs that they achieve. Just the same way you have to judge fighters. People say, who's one of the greatest heavyweights of all time in boxing? I say Mike Tyson. Because Mike Tyson during his day was a fucking destroyer. And maybe it only lasted a few years, but he's the guy who comes to mind for me. Because I grew up during the era where mike tyson was the executioner yeah so i feel like that about almost everything like almost everything has to be judged by the like the eras in which it happens

don't you think that that's the case yeah and for my money sam kinnison during that era And for my money, Sam Kinison during that era was just a fucking new thing. Nobody had seen anything like that. There's this guy with a fucking trench coat and a beret, and he's screaming about going to hell and how Satan's going to be like, oh, you've been married? Oh, it's normal to you. We'll show you the place where you torture souls. He had this thing where he would scream at the audience yeah i've been married twice hell would be like club men he was this fat guy screaming hell would be like club men i've been married twice yeah yeah it was like no one had seen anything like it yeah

and he had like knowledge of the bible that's yeah he would do like biblical knowledge in the middle of bits like if bill hicks was funny oh my god shut your mouth i saw bill hicks murder really murder i saw bill hicks bomb too you don't like bill hicks i hate that guy really i hate maybe i hate his fans but like people are still walk around like bill hicks was the great it's like come on bro i'll the greatest. It's like, come on, bro. I'll tell you what. Stop pretending you like this in 2020. Listen to me, man. There was a fucking green room at the Punchline Atlanta,

and it had someone, everyone graffitied all over the walls. And in one part it said, quit trying to be Hicks. Yeah, he had. It's true. Because he made you feel like you were doing something stupid. You were so jealous of him. And so I was lucky. I got a chance to see him when I was an open mic-er.

So I was just starting out. And I saw him twice. And one time he murdered, and one time he bombed. How was he bombed? I mean, it was amazing. It was amazing. And me and Greg Fitzsimmons and a couple other comics, I don't think are doing it anymore, were on the back of Nick's Comedy Stop.

doing it anymore we're on the back of nick's comedy stop and he went on after a dude who was a very regionally funny like middle act very you know obvious premises but did a good job yeah had a good set and bill hicks ate cock he ate cock for the the majority of his set and people were just getting up and leaving getting up and leaving and while he was doing this bit about, it was some bit about someone taking a shit. So he's in the middle of taking a shit. I forget exactly. I don't want to butcher it. In the middle of taking a shit, he's like, eh. He looks up.

He goes, this usually clears a room. And people are like leaving in droves. It's like a 300-person room. By the end of it, there's maybe 50 people and maybe 10 comedians were fucking crying, laughing. And he never looked fazed. He never looked fazed. And we were howling and we weren't howling. Ironically, we were howling because the shit was funny.

It was just so dark. Yeah. It was so crazy. It was, it was like some of his stuff was so funny it was just it was different than any other kind of comedy so it was like comedy from a dude who recently did mushrooms and was re-evaluating everything and that was like pretty much what was actually going on with bill yeah and then he quit doing drugs and he just dedicated himself to like getting like messages out in comedy.

And the problem is, back then, no one had a fucking podcast, man. So you had to be funny, and if you had something that you felt like people needed to know about it, you had to figure out how to put that into comedy. It's too complicated. It makes people preachy. Okay, that's what I heard.

So I do, in fact. But doesn't that happen to comics as they get better, as they get more famous, as they get more successful? They become more preachy. Watch Louis heard. Yeah. So I do. But doesn't that happen to comics as they get better, as they get more famous, as they get more successful? They become more preachy. Watch Louis C.K. He's not preachy. Yeah, Louis is.

Dave Chappelle is not preachy. Dave Chappelle is expressive. He wants you to know exactly how he feels about things. But he's the biggest comic alive. He's not preachy. Yeah, I think a bit. I hate that noise. What are you thinking?

He's trying to express himself in the most honest and compassionate way possible. He's a beautiful person. He's one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. Like genuinely always nice, rarely angry at anything. Even if he's mad at someone who's trying to ruin his career he'll have a joke

or two about it and they'll be like and then everyone's laughing have you seen Jamie Foxx's impression it's so good so good

we talked about this is Jamie the most talented entertainer maybe ever maybe ever maybe ever impressions singing

he can play the piano yes I didn't know how he can play the ball. Yes. Wait, I didn't know. How do you play ball? You were saying that's right. No, no. Jamie Foxx can do anything. He's one of those people that can literally do anything.

Yeah, here's the impression. You want to run it back? Yeah, run it back because it's so preposterous. I ran up on stage. I was in sense. I was in sense. Pow, nigga. Come on.

Thank you for Jamie Foxx. If you're ever in trouble, if you're ever in trouble, Jamie Foxx will show up with a sheriff hat. And all the other comedians just stood there. They're waiting on me to die! They're waiting to take over! Even the physicality. I see you, Chris Rock.

I mean, if you blindfolded me, I'd go, oh, that's Dave Chappelle. What are you talking about? Who am I, stupid? Who's that? That's so good. That's so good it's preposterous. Yeah, I want the Jamie Foxx documentary.

He's just done everything. Like, his life is so fascinating. You know what? I think his work speaks for itself. What do you mean? I mean, I don't need a documentary. I'm 25. I need that dude.

I don't want to interrupt. Keep going. Do whatever the fuck you want to do. I want to see how I need that dude. I don't want to interrupt. Keep going. Do whatever the fuck you want to do. I want to see how he plays Mike Tyson. He's going to play Mike Tyson. I bet it's going to be phenomenal. He does an amazing Mike Tyson impression. He also is of that age who grew up during the time

when Mike Tyson was the dominator. He knows what that really was like. You're not recreating that. We experienced that. Mike Tyson why do you mike tyson fought bruce selden the bruce selden looked like a comic book superhero and you could see the fear in his eyes when he fought mike tyson you just mike tyson just looking at you like there is not a chance in the world that you're going to survive oh hell yeah we got here we go oh what do we got what a legend i gotta pee again it looks is not a chance in the world that you're going to survive. Oh, hells yeah. We got pizza, bro. Oh, tough.

What do we got? What a legend, bro. I got to pee again. It looks like a lot of fun if you hate your body. I have a couple. Like, really? Before I say it, take this. Yeah.

Badass. I love it. Don't get me wrong. I wish I could have some. No, I love my body. If I was hungry and I didn't have dinner reservations, I would fucking eat the shit out of that pizza. Joe, we gotta wrap this up, bro.

Please let us. It's an honor to be here in the new studio. Thank you so much for always supporting me. Thank you, man. My pleasure. People need to know you're a great guy. They know you're great, but I don't think they know how great you are. I think it's very rare that people in your position are this benevolent.

And I think that you set a tone that the rest of us try to follow. Well, that's so nice of you, but I think it's good for everybody. I know you think it's good for everybody, but I think that, like, if the guy on top is doing it and you don't do it, you're a piece of shit. Right. And I think that most people on top don't do it, and that's how they get to the top. And I think that's what was so profound about what happened with you is that everybody underneath you was like, no, I've got to look out for my boys.

I've got to put them on. I've got to help them build their thing. Yeah, they all took the same sort of strategy. Yes. Yes. It was just the right path. It was just like I saw that path. It was just the right path.

It's not like a big deal in terms of, what it really is is what we should have been doing all along but we were all like scratching and clawing to try to get Hollywood gigs. And I think once the internet came along, it gave comedians this completely new network of, everybody became an asset, not just like a competitor. But competitor is good.

Like if you train at a jujitsu gym, you want to train at a place that has black belts because you want to be able to get to a really high level and you want to know if your stuff is bullshit, right? So if you pull something off and you can pull it off on a purple belt but the black belt keeps fucking it up, that might be bullshit. And you don't find that out. Like the same way with comedy. comedy doesn't exist in a vacuum yeah if you go to a place that doesn't have a comedy community you never find the best comic in the world they just it's i don't say never but it's super rare if that's ever happened i don't think it ever has

it's a fucking new art form right we we are really clearly indebted to each other. Yep. And the only way to recognize that is to reach out to each other and to say it. And to just like express. I try to express it all the time when I'm in my green room before my shows. I'm like, we are so lucky. We're so lucky we could do this. This is the craziest thing in the world. He says that all the time.

Beautiful. Gratitude is, it sounds like wooden beads and crystals, but it's fucking real. Yeah. That shit's real. Gratitude is, it sounds like wooden beads and crystals, but it's fucking real. That shit's real. Gratitude is real. It's like you're putting an energy out there that makes people feel good, and it makes people want to do the same. Yeah, I agree with you. That is something we realize that until you. Yeah, I think that you made people, I think you guilted people into liking something.

I think that you made people, I think you guilted people into liking something. Like, I think you were doing it. So if somebody else didn't do it that was under you that maybe you put them on or somebody else was trying to emulate you, they're going, all right, well, Joe's doing it. I got to also do this. And then when somebody starts to do it, it's like the altruism kick in. There's a dopamine release for altruism. You help someone out. You start to feel good. And then you do that.

And you're like, oh, my God, I really enjoy doing this. That's the thing that people need to realize. Like, being nice is great. Feels good. Feels good to everybody. When you make people feel good, you feel good, too. Yeah. You know, it's good for all parties involved.

It's not a selfish, you know, one-way endeavor if someone gets success. It should be good for you, too. You should be happy for them. And then they're happier. Like, you're happy. You should be happy for them, and then they're happier Like you're happy and everyone's happy and we could all like sort of like go through this weird thing together Because we don't know what this is you know every day you wake up And you try to pretend like all of it makes sense But you fucking shut your brain off every night and you go black for like eight hours leave gone

You know another dimension, and then then you you wake up in the morning and pretend that any of that shit makes any sense we're so accustomed to going unconscious literally having dreams having i had a dream that i was spearfishing in a fucking tunnel that was in in a cave where there was mayan artifacts. What the fuck is that? What is that? But it was vivid. In the dream, it was vivid. It was like I could see the paint and the gold and red paint on these artifacts.

I was like, this is wild. We're in a cave system. Spear fishing. Wake up. Nope. Back in Texas. I think just go about your day. Yeah. Back in my day, I wasn't just living in another world. We're all going through this This is craziness Are the aliens real or not? Tell me, bro

I don't know We're gonna find out, though You know the first time we ever hung out? This is after we did the podcast Yeah, tell them We went out to dinner I don't think anybody knows about this They might not

You tell me, hey, what are you doing for dinner tonight? After I do the pod And I'm like, well, shit, I don't have any plans on my LA. He goes, well, come to dinner with me at the, what is it? The all-you-can-eat Brazilian restaurant? What's it called? Fogo do Chão. Fogo do Chão. He goes, come to Fogo do Chão, and when you

type it, I don't even know what food we're eating. I gotta Google it, right? It's like, okay, it's a Brazilian restaurant. So we go, and you're like, we're gonna come with Bob. I go, okay, cool. And we go with Bob Lazar. This is the guy who was working on the UFOs. And I explained to you who he was because I wanted you to get a read on him.

Yeah. Because I wanted you to decide whether or not you thought he was bullshit. This is a guy that was allegedly, according to him, he back-engineered alien spacecrafts at Area S4. It was a guy who worked for Lockheed Martin, and he claims that he worked on these UFOs.

And we all went out to dinner. And we're sitting there, and Andrew and I are cutting meat and eating and just talking. I got my green light on. They keep coming around. This guy. Joe's like, put got my green light on they keep coming around this guy Joe's like put the fucking red light on

you had enough steak or whatever the fuck I don't know the rules of poker you get a green card it's the best fucking place ever if you love meat you have a green card

on one side and it's red on the other side and so when you want to keep that food rolling you keep that green up but Andrew's it's like fucking

he's taking chicken legs I go you gotta flip it over if you gotta tap out they'll give you a break so you flip it over and you keep that green up. But Andrew's like, it's like fucking soft. He's a comment. He's taking chicken legs. I go, you got to flip it over if you got to tap out. They'll give you a break. So you flip it over. It's a good system. So we're sitting there at Eaton and Bob Lazar is detailing to us

shit that he couldn't even talk about on the podcast. Wow. And explaining what they were trying to do. Begrudgingly, by the way. Begrudgingly. And that's what kind of convinced me. He was like,

I don't care to argue about this or debate about this like if if you don't believe me it's fine i don't need to be here like i don't even care yeah remember he kept saying that yeah and then he was like this is what i experienced you gotta care a little bit you dedicate your whole life to this no he didn't dedicate his life like he was an engineer he was only there for a short period of time and here's the work it's wild want. Do you want to hear the whole story? Yeah. He had top secret clearance because he has to work on these crafts, allegedly,

according to him. But because of that, they had to tap into his phones. They had to monitor all of his discussions. Like, if he's selling information

to the Russians, they got to, okay. So, during that time period, his wife is having an affair and they, they kill his top secret clearance

and suspend him during this time period and with no explanation because they think he'll be emotionally unstable and you can't have a guy like that working on fucking ufos so they don't tell him though they don't tell him his wife is cheating on him so he's trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and he brings friends out into the mountains to view the launches of these UFOs because they're on a very specific schedule, and he knows the schedule. So he takes these people out deep into the Nevada desert, which is now the area, though, he took people to. You can't even go there anymore. It's now off limits.

But at the time, you can go there, and he was watching with his friends. They were filming these fucking things flying around in these preposterous ways that no airplane could fly. Did you see any of the videos? I've seen it, but you don't know what you're looking at. Yeah. You're looking at lights. It could be anything. That was the Elon thing.

Yeah. Elon said some shit like, why don't they have better camera footage of aliens? But they do. He's not totally correct. He's not totally correct. The FLIR footage that they have from the David Fravor, the Commander David Fravor had one of the most impactful UFO video encounters that's ever happened. It was off the coast of San Diego, and they found this thing that moved from 50,000 feet above sea level to 50 in less than a second. They don't know what it is.

They have no idea what it was. But it was actively monitoring them because it blocked all of their tracking devices, which is technically an act of war. And then just fucking just took off, gone, and went back to their cat point, which is the place where they had like a designated spot where they're supposed to meet up during this mission. Because what they're doing with this mission is it's a training mission. And that fucking UFO went to that spot. It's like, I know where you're going, bitch. And then took off again and gone. And then when they relayed this to the Nimitz, he was explaining how the people that were working there were like,

we see these things like every couple weeks. We have no idea what the fuck it is. We don't know what – So you're 100% convinced UFOs? I'm not because it could be a drone that they don't tell those people about it could be something that the government's working on it could be a different government or something most likely us see the thing about communism is like it like the way they do it over there is like slash communism slash capitalism maybe that works

but a lot of what they do is they steal they steal a lot of intellectual property from the united states it's one of the problems. There's not a problem with the United States stealing intellectual property from China as far as I know. It doesn't make the news. But they banned Huawei. The reason why they banned Huawei is because – The cell phone company, right? The company that makes – they make modems as well.

They make many things. But they found like enough of an indication that they were suspicious. There's some backdoors in order to get data so if you're using like huawei devices and you have some like super secure network that's developing nuclear weapons or whatever the fuck you're doing then we get all that data and there's so there's like chill the fuck out you know we're in this weird time where we're only like a decade or so away from nothing being a secret ever. What do you mean? There will be no more secrets. You'll be able to read minds.

You're coming to a place where language is probably going to be universal, and you're going to be able to communicate with people that are nowhere near you using the power of your thought. This is the Neuralink. This is many of these technologies they're developing. If you had to think about where it's going to go, that's where it's going to go. That's one guy I talked to. He said that's the end point of AI.

That's where it's all headed. We're all in one consciousness. Well, it might be. You gave me a broken glass, you cocksuckers. I almost caught myself. I would have died. Wow. Wow.

If you, please. The Russians. Please. It was too much. It's no big deal. You drink out of this end. I drink out of that end I drink out of that and there you go right this part what we're just talking about the Russians group consciousness no consciousness? It's just water And your fingers

I want to state for the record that most of this podcast is nonsense Yeah I would say 100% Yeah, it's 100% We like to be safe and just go 100% 100% nonsense It's all comedy I, if asked, I stand by none of my claims

No, this is all scripted This is a scripted podcast and this is for your This is a parody Exactly podcast, and this is for your— This is a parody. Exactly. Okay, but with the— A five dudes drunk. With the UFO shit, right?

Four. They're out there. They're out there, bro. Say it. You believe it. No, the thing is, I don't believe it because I don't know for sure. it no the thing is i don't believe it because i i don't know for sure but if i had a guess i would have to say most likely they're out there because there's not enough options like if you had to think that this is the most unique circumstance ever in the history of the universe the problem

with that is the universe is too big yeah so it's so big that everything that's ever existed including everything that's ever happened on earth in the exact same order has happened an infinite number of times like you have to understand what infinity means it's too big for anybody to understand so are there aliens of course there's not just aliens out there you're out there you're you're not just out there once you're out there in an impossible number of times and you're doing life all kinds of different ways. The number of people that live exactly the same

as you have with every pause, every mistake, every success, all of it is exactly the same. It's infinite. That's how big the universe is. And there's also one

that's the opposite. Yeah. Failures, disgrace, everything. Falling apart, murder, suicide, all of it.

Probably every single iteration of human beings. Vegan you out there, Joe. And that motherfucker's still living off it. That's where you cross the line. Yeah, I just wonder, man. If you watched a moose stomp a person to death, do you think he'd eat that moose? Joe, I'll suck the moose's dick and I'm good, bro. I don't know what you don't understand about me.

I'm Apex Predator, this mouth. This mouth is a predator, dog. Take some mushrooms out, guys. You need something, like a massage or something. Something therapeutic. Like yoga class. I don't know what to tell you bro is this married life Joe is this married life

well listen I'm gonna end this bitch listen we love you bro we appreciate you I appreciate you guys and I'm very very happy that there's so many

of us out there you know this is an interesting time because none of us would have ever had a show like this or like any of the shows that we do if it was up to gatekeepers that's true wouldn't happen yep they would have never said yes that's

true they would have never left you alone like some of the shit that you say you know like they would never let you alone 100 there's no way and the only way to do this is do it this way yes you gotta just kind of and we are very very grateful for you because of this. Well, listen, I'm grateful that it exists. And, you know, I just happen to be. Do you remember Sal's Comedy Corner? Yeah. Or something like that. I remember that place.

Remember that place? Yeah, yeah. Sal's Comedy Hall, I think. That's when I knew something was happening with you. With me? Like, you were doing shows there, right? Like, you would have, like, a live show or something there. And it was this little place off Melrose or something like that.

Right? A live show. And, like, this is, no, no, this is, like, live, is like live uh like stand-up but like this is when you were maybe not working at the store or something i was banned from the band from the store but you were like selling out these shows because of the podcast and i heard that and i was like wait a minute like something is going on here there are people who can't sell our shows at comedy clubs and they're giving away tickets and this guy's doing a comedy show and it was a restaurant slash comedy club i don't think i had a podcast back then are you sure yeah because the podcast was 2009 and maybe that was 2009 maybe but uh i was banned from the store in 2007 i i thought it

was off i thought it was off podcast because i was like there's something happening with community here your whole fucking life no no no no no no more I'm thinking about I'm like it might be right it's it's hard to say it's like but that time era like Sal's comedy hole was a good one the ice house was a big one that was our real like safety rap such a fun club dude great club great club is that back open again i don't know i haven't been in la the ice house that the ice house was our spot and the haha we did the haha a lot and did the improv a lot you know anyway i just remember that happening and i remember seeing like oh shit like you could create your own community and people want this

they want this distraction they want the comedy they want the conversation and i don't have to do these shows on mtv or whatever fucking networks i was working on i remember seeing that and i was like okay yeah yeah something's happening right here well you create you you do create your own community but what you do is just find other people that are doing the same stuff that you're doing yeah and just like everybody like everybody's creating their own community you just like have you join yeah you join together it's like you know one no one person really does it and it's your responsibility if you're the person that's at like you're further along in your career or further along in the the weirdness of the path and in terms of like the amount of people that are following you you it's your it's your obligation

you have to bring everybody along like hey hey hey, hey, hey. We don't need that anymore. Those sitcoms are ruining your horrible jokes. You can't tell terrible jokes if you want to get a sitcom. Because there's a bunch of fucking trolls out there that'll get you fired. And they'll take away your livelihood. Okay, then before you leave, what is your... Who are you looking at? You. What is your recommendation for... How do we for new york what you did for la

and then all you're doing it already man you're already doing it what you're doing here is perfect this is a perfect example a perfect like expression of you and of you and if you got everybody that works here it's like you're doing it and you're doing it with your stand up. You're doing it with your specials. Just keep doing it and it'll get better and you'll find, you know, like smoother ways to do it. You're going to continue this weird path that we're all on. Like, I feel like I get better at doing podcasts every day. I feel like every time I do it, I get a little bit better. And I know that sounds crazy, but I just think that we can define ourselves in like a confining way for no reason we just say well about as good as i ever gonna get at this

but that's not really true like you can get better and i still fuck up like sometimes i'll talk over someone i'm like fuck like i didn't want to like just it just blurted out i'm like control settle down like try to figure out how to get the most out of this person. And it just gets better all the time. And it's like everything else you do. It's the amount of energy you put into it, the amount of focus you put into it. And if you put a lot into it, you can get better at it. As long as you're alive. As long as you're alive and you're healthy, put a lot into it.

Joe Rogan. Yes, yes. Get in here, you vegan. Dirty vegan. Joe Rogan yes yes get in here you vegan dirty vegan you're the fucking man thank you so much brother my pleasure brother I appreciate you very much

here are some shows you'd like to promote that we get Joe Rogan podcast in Vegas July 1st thank you bro appreciate you Doug appreciate you Doug

appreciate you too thank you you guys are very important to me like all you guys coming up it's super important to me it's beautiful it means a lot it feels good

it's nice it's like there's a there's a whole fucking savage crew of like really good comics coming up right now respect and they're doing real comedy

and it's heartwarming for me you know, when I watch you, when I watch you, when I watch Shane Gillis, Norman, and there's so many

of these guys that are coming up. Tim Dillon. Timmy. There's so many of these guys that are coming up. I'm like, God damn,

Tony Hinchcliffe. This is a great time. Yeah. This is a great time for real comedy. And Ari Shaffir said it best. He said, this is the best thing

because comedy is dangerous now. Mm-hmm. Comedy is, I agree. One more time,ir said it best. He said, this is the best thing because comedy is dangerous now. Comedy, one more time, is dangerous again. Yeah. Yeah. We want there to be a time where you can't say things. Yeah. Because that's when we're fun.

Can't's a weird word. Stop it. When you're not supposed to say things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can't do that. Crush. You can't do that. Crush it.

You can't do that. You can't tell people what they can't say. Right. The problem is most of the people that tell you that you can't say things. I'm trying to stop the podcast. Joe's going. I just want to point this out. Go, go.

Tell them what you can't say, Joe. The problem with people, the people that want to tell people what they can't say, almost all of them are a mess. What do you mean? There's no amazing examples of people who want to tell people what they can't say, almost all of them are a mess. What do you mean? There's no amazing examples of people who want to tell you what you can't say. There's no examples. When you look at that person, you go, they're kind and compassionate and they're charitable and they're beautiful. They always look at the bright side of things. There's no examples.

They're just angry. What about Amy Schumer? Son of a bitch! What are you trying to do, my guy? Get us in trouble! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm honored to be here. Here's Bob with the weather.