Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - John Cena Makes China (Fast And) Furious

Episode Date: June 1, 2021

Join Andrew, Akaash, Alexx, Mark and Dov as they re-christen their New York City studio with some PRIME flagrancy

I need to see Elliot's impossible meet. I need to see Caitlyn's impossible meet. Go home. Not fuck a dude just because he got AC. Double double Pakistani double double Hindustan. On your birthday. Keep it real. And I came in and saved the day.

She'll save Alex. I saved Alex. Alex was a bum. Asshole army. What's up? The kings have returned to the city. We are here back in New York. If you're watching on YouTube, please check out the new studio.

Hit that wide shot. Hit that wide shot. Okay, Al, do what you were doing earlier. Show off your fucking sneakers. Al got a six-inch space to show off how his sneakers match his hat. Oh, you mean these? These are things? I just put these out of the closet.

Stay in the watch. Oh. Oh. Fuck around. Knock that shit over. Enjoy your bacon egg and cheese. We're here, baby. It's your boy, Schultz. We got Aakash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, The Truffle. Shit, even

Miles and Vala are watching in. And it's time to begin this episode. I know there's a lot that we have to talk about. Technically, we didn't miss a week, but we were kind of off a week. We pre-taped some episodes, so we didn't talk about a lot of dope shit. But one important thing that we have to do, and we have to have this discussion right now, and it might tank the rest of the episode, but I'm very excited for it,

is somehow The Truffle managed to truffle the untruffleable he's on the ropes he's on the ropes he's on the ropes hit the wide if we see dove's legs shaking in a wide you know for a fact he's on the ropes okay Okay? The truffle, I don't know how this is possible because the untrufflable is Akash. He's Indian. You can't beat him in any negotiation. Okay? Dove somehow brought a Tesla all the way out to Miami.

I said we're ready to go out. I said we're ready to go. You know how Homer Simpson disappears into the book? He just goes back. That's how Al goes on the line. This is how Al gets out of every conversation. Just like. Okay.

So, Dub, while he's doing a million fucking things, I don't know how this guy does it. His multitasking game is on a million. This guy brought a Tesla out to to miami from los angeles he just bought a tesla right he lugged it out there bro made all this he lugged that he made all this money from the netflix amazing amounts of money some would say paid too much for for for his role in netflix right some might say that maybe not me but some might right many people have said it maybe i mentioned it but, but it has been said before.

And he used that money and bought a spanking new Tesla. I mean, unbelievable, right? Didn't pay for the auto drive, but that's fine. Yeah, that's not even a Tesla. He got a Honda. That's a Honda, right? That's a Mitsubishi. He got a quiet Honda.

I think you used that brand deliberately. I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna be honest. I didn't use Honda deliberately. So if you don't pay for the auto drive in your Tesla, do you have a Honda? No, but you guys can also add that shit later. Tell him what you were doing.

Tell him what you were doing. When he was driving girls around Miami, she was mad, but he'd hit the screen like it was auto drive and then drive with his knee, bro. So this guy's on another level. These bitches had no clue, bro. They had no clue he's driving around just with his knee and thigh the entire time.

Like, oh yeah, this auto-drive is amazing. It's an autopilot, though. It has autopilot. It does keep the lane. It has cruise control. But it doesn't have drive by itself, because you weren't going to pay for that. Cruise control?

Every car has cruise control. What are you talking about? It's got power windows. It has power windows. It has windshield wipers it's crazy yeah so the headlights just turn on okay okay so so dove had this tesla which he got i'm gonna say how you got it out there this is amazing truffle this guy's unbelievable amounts of trouble didn't he ship it oh he did ship it with the armenian express he can ship it out with the ar. He shipped it out with the Armenian Express. What is that?

How did you get it out there, Truffle? He turkeyed the situation. Someone's going to pick it up and ship it out. He's like, Dov, I'd really love to drive. His mom's boyfriend. He wanted to drive it out. He got his mom's boyfriend to drive the car out himself Keep in mind this is

But it's a Tesla, you know, he didn't splurge for the big battery To Miami with the standard battery you stopping every two hours. He stopped every two hours in America across the whole continent Longer to get from LA to It took him longer to get from LA to Miami than it took him to get from Hungary to Los Angeles. The guy spent more time

immigrating his ass to Miami for no reason. But did he have a Tesla in Hungary? No, I gave him a chance to see the country. I don't know what's going on. I don't know if he loves your mom

or things are rocking. I don't know what. He's like, oh, two months to get out of the house? Two months away from your mom's. That's amazing. Or I love your mom so much

that I'll do anything for her son. So, okay. I got still going, where are we going with this? I got started contributing. He's just like, how the fuck I got trouble and I didn't even know.

Let's go. Get to it. Cut the fat. Cut the fat. Okay. You tried to blame me. You said there was a dent in the Tesla. And you tried to blame it on me. Oh, we're not even there yet.

Come on. I'm pissed because I don't even know he's getting a dinged up Honda, bro. He's getting a dinged up Honda, bro. Get to it. Hey, where's my fucking... Hey, bro, you got the light, dog. One minute left. Wrap that shit up. How dare you blame me for this

so so the tesla pulls up right after the whole journey across so the car that you're getting is going across a whole nice it's american very long that's fine very long trip that's fine okay so uh it comes with a ding it comes with a ding on the side of it right just dinged up baby ding It comes with a ding on the side of it, right? Just dinged up the whole fucking time. Baby ding. That marked it. That marked it.

Be honest. I thought you shipped it, and I was like, oh, maybe I did do it. If I had known a fucking cab driver was pulling it across the country, like. That's how you know he don't love your mom. He's like, fuck the side of this car. I'm not using a blink of a shit. Mark crashed a U-Haul the day one of Miami. You've been in the car with him That was you He's doing

Our cause to swim right now, it's not because of the performance fleece, okay He's about to get fleece my dog. I have no fucking clue The off-white fleece probably got the debt in it because the guy thought it had the auto drive. He put that shit in there. Yeah. Yo, what the fuck? You're going into the wall. You cheap bastard. You sent that motherfucker across America with no auto drive.

You tried to kill him. The only reason he agreed to drive it across America is because he thought he was going to use auto drive. Oh, yeah, just for him. And you're not going to pay $10 a month? He gets autopilot. It does the same thing. It does it. It does.

Oh, I'm already sweating. I love this. Okay. So, so, so. Yeah. Dude's driving 94 miles per hour. I don't think auto drive works at 90. He was racing.

Trying to earn my love. It tops at 90. You would know if you had it. It tops at 90. It tops at 90. Damn. All right. So, so the car gets across.

He's there for one month with the car. He finds out we're moving back to New York. Yeah. Yeah. We're moving back. He's moving to New York for the first time. Oh, yeah, that's right. He's moving to New York for the first time, right?

He's still got an apartment in L.A., okay? He guilted me. He's going, well, my father has to stay somewhere. Your father got to go back tomorrow. I don't know what to tell you, but it's a very nice house. How many thousands of square feet? It's too much. It's too much.

Okay. So, love him. Shouts to Michel. Shouts to Michel. This poor Hungarian man flies back. He drives a car for a month.

He goes, how do I get rid of this car? I need to get someone to take over my lease. He's trying to get someone to take over. He's asking all his family members. All of them say no because they already know the truffle they know to get it's like something's wrong

With this car, right? There's some kind of situation. I'm not taking over your lease I'm not gonna help you out. You try to get everybody to do it, right? Obviously everybody to everybody right somehow he convinced Matthew at ampersand Studios Let him just store the car there. Well, the cars is being stored at the ampersand Shout out Matthew It's unbelievable. In the parking lot? In the parking lot.

Yeah. This is why no deals are being done. Okay? This is why we got no fucking deals being done. Because this guy's working nine to five on figuring out this car. And then one day you come and you tell me that Akash is going to take over the lease. Yeah. How in the fuck?

This is remarkable to watch. Oh, it was me and Mark. Oh, you were there? Yeah, I saw the whole thing. Oh, my God. That was an audience. Tell me. That was an audience.

Fill it in. Y'all hit it. Tell me. Hit it. All right, so I think the way you start off is, oh, gosh, you want a Tesla? And oh, gosh, immediately was like, yeah, I would love a Tesla. I think that's how you started, right? Is that fair to say?

I don't think that's true, but keep going. No, no, no, no, no. He's like, yo, oh, gosh, you would be stupid not to take this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, stupid. First knocks him. Yeah. Yo, it, no, no. He's like, yo, Akash, you would be stupid not to take this deal. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stupid. First knocks him. Yeah.

Yo, it was so masterful. Then he pulled back a little once Ashkosh gave some resistance. What'd you say? What'd you say? Because Akash knows that something's up. He goes, oh, no, there's a truffle. Deal's too good to be true. I just, I was like, don't do that to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me. Yeah, I get it. Like, I'm stupid to not take it. Fine. I don't care. the numbers. And then you said if you can't afford the payments, that's fine. No problem. But I just need to know now because I have someone. No, you did it. You know, the apartment is good when she's posting moving day. That's usually the most stressful day. She was posting that shit with pride. It just didn't make sense.

He had that apartment with the car that he currently has. He tagged it. He tagged it. He was like, you got a beautiful apartment. Chill on the Honda slander, bruh. Nah, but let's be honest. He did say like, you're going to put your girl in this beautiful apartment with a Metro card.

Yeah. And then he was like, you're going to put your girl in this beautiful apartment with a Metro card. And then he was like, you're going to put your girl in this beautiful apartment with a Metro card. And then he was like, you're going Honda Slander, bro. But let's be honest, he did say like, you're going to put your girl in this beautiful apartment with a MetroCard.

Yeah. And then with that, what happened? Well, I also said like, your new high-end apartment must have a Tesla charger there too,

right? Oh, he did say that. Oh my God, he's roping you and you don't even know it. And this is where I got it. Akash knows that I can get a deal.

So basically, you're taking over a lease that I, but I'm also, but I got't. And this is where I got it. Akash knows that I can get a deal. So basically you're taking over a lease that I, but I'm also, but I got it. I worked for that deal. I almost got roped in. I was believing it was a story, but it's still trouble. You're picking up on a little bit more. Tell me. Huh?

This is the real. You're really getting this right now. You're hitting me. Keep going, keep getting them, Duff. Keep getting them. Yeah, you're hitting it. Keep getting them, Dove. Keep getting them. It was the fairest exchange I can imagine. If anything, Dove got screwed.

Yeah, how did you get work? I'm telling you clearly. If I wasn't in this fucking city that charges forever. We have to go over a bridge. We have to pay $20 to park for a coffee. You got what bridge? We don't pay you to go over. What bridge? One of the bridges.

The tunnel. The tunnel. Yeah, but you don't take the tunnel. It's a tunnel or bridge. The tunnel's a tunnel. You want to go underneath the water for free? How much does it cost? How much does it cost to park in a car in New York?

Would you go underneath water for free? No. What type of baboon would go underneath the water for free? I don't want to pay to go underneath the water. Say what? I got to pay to go underneath the water? I don't trust you if I'm not paying. I'm not trusting if I don't pay.

You should pay me to go underneath the water. Anyway, get to the point. I'm just saying. I didn't need the car here. Actually, no. You guys go ahead and read the story. Your girl drives to Philly. You drive everywhere for shows.

Oh, yeah, yeah. The next round is he came around with the numbers. So he broke down the numbers and how much you could sell a car for. And then I got a calculator out. That was me. Once you got the calculator out, it was me. Once you got the calculator out. It was over. It was over.

It was over. He knew it. He sold himself on it. No. That was a Jewish Indian combo that I liked. Yeah. So here's what I do. Just out of curiosity, did you have a hunch that it was going to be?

No, I didn't have a hunch this time. I didn't have a hunch it was in that shitty Tesla. Bro, it would be hunched over. I crunched numbers. Okay. I crunched numbers. I wish we did some crunching of numbers before. That would be pretty nice if we weren't going on hunches

back in the day, motherfucker. Remember when you bought a Michaelis Studio for six figures? Do you remember the hunch? The hunch that we're changing the future of podcasts? Can I tell you how much cheaper that was?

That's a fraction of a Bitcoin, that Michaelis Studio. A fraction of a Bitcoin. You, and after I did it, I didn't go, let's buy more. That's what you did. You bought a Michaelis Studio and then you say, oh, it's not working? Buy two Michaelis things. Buy three, buy four, buy five. You know what this is?

I'm doing the waiter hands. Keep buying more. Raise the level. That's it. I've never wanted crypto to plunge more in my entire fucking life i've never wanted it i would gladly lose all the money just to see you sweat okay go back to this go go go go go go so do i have dove give me the payments yeah and i do the calculation yeah i'm like all right it's gonna cost about like 13k to have it for these years

yeah then i realized i could sell my car for probably like 11 so i'm like i could wait a few years and then sell it down the road and then get a tesla or i could just have a tesla for like 2500 3000 i got an instant offer for 10-3 from carmex so i'm like i could just take that have a tesla for three g's for three years why don't we just do that let's just live a little bit yeah i didn't think it was the sharpest financial move but i was like it's three pay essentially for a tesla for three years. Let's do that. And then Dove said

that he had to sign a $2,000 like lease signing thing that he's not, he's going to lose out on, right? And then basically he told Akash, he's like, I'm basically giving you $2,000. I paid the down payment on a car

and he's not absorbing that. He's just paying a clean, beautifully low monthly payment. Akash is fucking raping you right now i'm just wondering you've got six months till your porsche comes why didn't you want to take the tesla because he didn't trust the truck that's a good point i don't want you trust me with everything i'm trying to get older cars i'm not trying to get the new fancy shit i want to go oh you already got a down payment on a tesla what you talking about i got a down payment on a Tesla. What you talking about? I got down payment. Yeah, you know the cyber truck. That's true

That's also camping vehicles I want to start camping in a future that's That's for me being in touch with nature, but don't try to act like I'm not nature And also I need a car to save for my girl, yep My girl needs a truck she needs a truck bro that's it she don't want that truck she hates that truck they really hate that truck

buy yourself one day cut that part, yo. Anyway, so who do we think has won this truffle? I think it's perfectly fair. Thank you. You think it's a fair trade? Thank you. I was just a little jealous because he has a Tesla with a Trump button that doesn't close automatically.

You saw me do that. You got the old one? You got to old one? You got to get out. You got to get out the OG Jordan. This motherfucker got retro. Don't hold value. Don't let me find out you got the old Tesla.

I can't believe I got in that car. I've been in that car. That's so humiliating. Why would you get in that car? Do you know how that feels for me? What if someone saw me? Son, and you want a 2021? I'll let you drive it because nobody else can they can't drive itself so i'll let you drive it now did dove tell you the thing about how

you can't get the the monthly drive by itself yeah he told me that i got paid for that up front and i was like that's fine i don't have to have that my next tesla i'll get it this motherfucker bought a tesla where you can't even drive it that You can pay. That's the point of the car. I'm telling you. It's unbelievable, bro. Your girl's going to be taking trips to Philly or whatever the case is. But it's not worth $10,000 for three years because I'm not going to keep it for three years.

Smart man. To me, it's just $3,000 for three years. I'll save essentially that much in gas. So you're paying just for the T in the front. So get a Leaf. No, it's a newer version. It's a newer car, too. That's got $5,000.

My car gets $75,000. But what's a newer car too that's got 5 000 my car gets 75 000 but what's new about it like it's got the same amount of wheels it's like it's electric baby it's mad electric cars right now that shit dumb fast a lot of electric cars bro you get in the shit that's supposed to drive by itself and it don't even drive by if you go on the l train if you go on the l train you have to drive that too all right guys i'll buy the self-driving i'll buy the self-driving fuck what. Alright guys, I'll buy the self-driving. I'll buy the self-driving. Fuck. What do we want? You have to buy the self-driving. That's a no-brainer.

Alright, I'll buy it. It's done. Done. Hit him. Hit it. But here's the thing. You can't. No, I can buy it. I can pay $10,000 all at once. You can talk him into anything. This is why we in debt. This is why we in debt. This is why we in debt this why we in debt

We we are in crypto debt. I'm looking my crypto. I'm like fuck wait Hang on was like how come when we were up it was you that was up and then now that we're down Y'all are fine. Okay, with your little peanuts that you be throwing at that shit. Miles walking in the room, oh, I put $30 into Dogecoin. Shut your mouth with your $30. Ain't nobody want to hear about your tens of dollars that you're investing daily. Hey, bro, this peanut's for you. Robin Hood don't even want your money.

It's steal from the rich, give to the poor. This peanut's for you, baby. Say what? It's peanut's for you. I like peanuts. He said peanuts. I'll buy you some. Hey,'s for you, baby. Say what? This peanut's for you. I like peanuts. He said peanuts? I'll buy you some. Hey, hey.

You finna get some almonds. You just wait. You just wait. Cashews? These peanuts gonna grow into motherfucking macadamias. Can I ask you all a serious question? Do you know how much work it takes to get a singular cashew? It's a lot, apparently.

Bro. That makes me feel worse than farm fishing. Or like killing animals, like killing cows for meat and shit like that. The amount of work it takes. One nut per plant. What? You didn't know this? No.

I thought it'd be a bunch of them motherfuckers. The thing grows and a singular nut comes out of the plant. And I think it takes a while. Look up cashews. Look up how you get one single cashew. That's why them shits are so expensive. It should way more i just got cash in the name bro that's shit that's a good point let me check this out anyway you look that shit up i didn't want to derail from this my point is do you think that you're getting hustled do you think you got

truffled i didn't think so well not even slightly i didn't whether he's ever happy with a deal know that you've got yeah yeah no so i didn't weigh if he's ever happy with a deal know that you've got yeah yeah no so i didn't weigh whether or not he was winning a deal i was just like will i be happy with what i'm doing you can't beat this guy in a negotiation so i'm like fine will i be happy with paying 3k for a tesla for three years yeah i'm good with that how do you feel looking a guy in the face knowing that you fucked him i don't fuck him all i know is like the deal's not even signed yet and you're just convincing him out of this whole thing. Because that is what makes fun.

This is what we do. I'm going to be honest. Can I be honest? How uncomfortable he's making me? Now I'm thinking I don't trust you anymore, Dumb. Yeah. Go! Why did you get so mad at Andrew just then?

Why did you get so mad at Andrew just then? The seaside is swaying. Yee-haw. Hey, hey, hey. I'll burn the place down if that deal falls through. I've been running all around New York getting different pieces of furniture that we don't even use on the goddamn podcast. He rolled in here today with plants. This city's hard.

Motherfucker bought fake plants in an Uber. That's self-driving right there. What? The Uber? Oh, yeah, Uber's a self-driving. Did you think about that? That's a good point. You could have just Uber'd. You live in the city now, boy. Yeah, that's true. That's self-driving right there. What? The Uber? Oh, yeah. Uber's the self-driving. Did you think about that? That's a good point. You could have just Uber'd. You live in the city now, boy.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. This deal might be off the table. Yo, how much does it cost for parking? That's dumb expensive. We were going to pay for that either way, though. I also calculated that. Oh, because you're replacing your old car.

You're replacing one car with another. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I be calculating sometimes. Damn, son. I be calculating. You have a car in the city? It's still probably cheaper to Uber. Yeah, it might be cheaper to Uber.

What are you talking about? This little light of mine. I'm going to let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm going to let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm going to let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine.

Let it shine. Let it shine. Sorry, Doug. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second because your dicks are not performing as well as they should. And we can fix that immediately. Okay? Blue Chew is not a game.

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I want to talk about the John Cena thing, but Mark has a really funny joke about it. So we have to like navigate the joke. We can just do it. I don't want to step on your thing. I'll try to put it out like tomorrow or something. Okay, fine. As long as you think you'll get it out early enough.

How about we just have Mark do the joke? No, thank you. Oh, dude. The way you you think you'll get it out early enough. How about we just have Mark do the joke? No, thank you. The way you do it for comics. I don't want to ruin a thing. Okay, so John Cena had this thing where he basically had to apologize to China for saying that Taiwan was a country.

And he's basically doing it in Mandarin. Did you see the apology? The but he's doing it in Mandarin yeah so he's apologizing to them in Mandarin and obviously this is you know gonna piss Americans off and if we're talking about really why we're pissed off is because we feel China coming

like if I'm being honest if you could cuck out John Cena yeah that's a big cuck out bro I've been telling you what that China's coming If you could cuck out John Cena. Yeah, that's a big cuck out, bro. I've been telling you. What? I've been telling you. What, that China's coming?

Yeah. He's been saying he's going to side with China like they want his black ass. Yo, that's a good point. Yeah. China don't like black folks, bro. When it starts, they're going to want numbers. Actually, no, that's a good point. China's bought up 11% of the population. Yeah, you don't even got, and you commit half the murder.

No, no. Statistically, let's just look at the numbers. Oh, Ben Shapiro. Did we get that right? Ben Shapiro don't want no smoke with china right no no no no why is he calculating some shit there take that i don't know who's taking that i don't know i was hoping one of y'all run with it but we can talk i got you taking it probably all right But so John Cena's out there. It's not my other opinions. I'll make back a lot of this currency. And, you know, it's always fuck China.

But and then we're going to go into some other shit later about that. But what was interesting about this one is that like this one like really hurt because you really seen a dude get like bent over to apologize. Right. And the reason he had to do it is because he's out there promoting the new Fast and the Furious movie right and because there's no DVD sales the way that movies make up those sales is from foreign box office right

before I guess they didn't really give a fuck about foreign box office that much but now since you lost so much money from no DVD sales and a year of pandemic and a year of pandemic obviously you're not gonna make no money because people aren't going out to movies like they were which I haven't lately, and it's lit. And Fast and Furious is huge out there. It's way bigger. They made a whole

movie in Tokyo. Exactly. Exactly. It's massive out there because action movies are so easily translatable. Yeah, you don't need comedy doesn't do well internationally. You know what it does though? Accents and stuff like that, they do, but car crashes, these types of things are so easy to translate.

The same way we love their kung fu movies. Exactly. Any type of action, you could run it back over here. So, boom. It works perfectly. And I bet the theater, or not the theater, it's called the production company, the studio. The studio. The studio is probably going to lose hundreds of millions of dollars.

I think China only lets in a certain amount of movies a year, too. How many? They only let in, I don't actually know the exact number, but it's small. It's like 15 to 20 foreign. Foreign movies a year. Exactly. Or maybe American movies, but. Fair enough.

Yeah. So if you're one of those movies, you get access to 1.3 billion people. And they have to review it. They go through this whole process. And they make you edit it. There are certain scenes they'll make you cut that shit right the fuck out. They control the promotional stuff. Exactly.

But China figured some shit out they figured out that the way that you control america is with greed we are so fucking greedy we'll do anything for money anything we'll sell our own souls for fucking money is absolutely disgusting and they finally got money we let them get some money we had them making all our fucking toys and shirts and all this shit until they got enough money to start abusing us and that's how it's a new form of like economic colonialism and I think we were the starters of that shit low key like we were the biggest buying power in the world and then all of a sudden they're like oh that

buying shit really works but I bet it's been coined before right? that's how we sold all the South America, Central America that's what we did Yeah we go into the leaders We go yo do you want a ton of money Sell all your country's resources

Yeah So it sucks If we're being honest about it We feel China coming And that's why it stings a little bit more Like if another country was like Yo if Honduras came to us And they were like yo

Yeah You recognize El Salvador Don't recognize El Salvador And John Cena was like Yo lo siento El Salvador no existe Bl El Salvador and John Cena was like yo lo siento El Salvador no existe in Spanish we'd be like no shit definitely don't exist but the fact that it's

the guy who's on your heels that stings a little bit more I'm gonna defend John Cena a little bit go go I think that's the argument go go when you're the star of a movie, the number of people that you're responsible for

is crazy. Yeah. Think about the crew, the other actors who are less famous than you, less starring roles than you, the fucking editors, all,

it's like thousands of people involved in a project. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You slip up one time and then your bosses are saying, yo, you're fucking up a thousand people's money. You can make these people, most of whom you actually know and touch on an everyday basis

better by just saying sorry yeah i can 100 you've seen you be like all right man let me fucking apologize that's a bunch of people i don't know that's how they're gonna guilt you because they're like look at all the key grips that make a living look at look at all the sounds people that to be honest you pay a day rate exactly they've already been paid. But what about the next one and blah, blah, blah. What is interesting is John's probably got movies about to come out and deals have already been signed. And John is not going to be in some romantic theatrical experience. They already have Channing Tatum, which is basically just less steroids.

So he's basically looking. I imagine they're like, yo, fam, every one of the movies you make could be in China. If you don't apologize, you're not going to get none of that Chinese money. And the studio might go, we can't pay $200 million from a movie if we're not going to get $100 million from China.

We can't finance your films. And China holds grudges. This is the other thing I didn't realize. That's every Kung Fu movie, right? A motherfucker disrespects him 100 years later. 100 years later, he'd be training for that shit and then he go fucks up the great grandson. Grudges is their shit.

It's crazy. Even the bitch in the ring. The well, remember that bitch in the well? Isn't there a chapter where they call the grudge or some shit like that? Yes. Right? They stayed in a house, Parasite. They just stayed in the house tight about that shit.

Their grudges is their shit. That whole movie was that. They've been plotting to take over America since the opioid crisis. That's what Al's talking about, bro. They're doing the fucking sleeper cells. The opioid crisis? Parasite. Parasite. Did you use that part in the

joke about how China... We're trying to see Asians as different, but China's like... Did you use it or not? I tried it, yeah. Did it work? Are you cutting it out? Can we say it now? Yeah, please. I was like, here we are, looking racist if we don't know the difference between different Asian people, and China's like, it's all

Asia. It's all China. Taiwan is China. Next time somebody says I'm racist because I call an Asian Chinese, I'm like, I'm doing what China wants. I'm out here trying to get my fucking podcast deal with Huawei. What is Tibet? What even is Tibet?

Who gives a fuck? Yo, why does China want shitty land so much, bro? I guess it's just a move, right? It's like manifest destiny for them. Yeah. That's their manifest destiny. But they don't even have God to front on it with.

That's true. They don't need to front on anything. They are God. Isn't that fucked up? At least we had the excuse. It was like, nah, God is telling us we got to be in Cali. Sorry, Mexicans. Like, that's way better.

That's atheist. I mean, can you imagine an agnostic cult leader? Come on, bro. Let's just drink Kool-Aid because it seems fun. Let's die for the fuck of it. Screw that, bro. That's why it's fucked up. You gotta have God compelling you to do some fucked up shit. You know what I'm saying? Dove?

Mod? Nope. Vala? Vala? You know what I'm saying Duff Vala Y'all wanna just fight it out

Right here Yeah Fight it out right here Hold on I'll be lit What Hey Duff We can team up

You know what I mean We can do this You know what I mean Oh that's right I'm with you Yeah who do you side with Brown people Cause Vala's muzzy

Brown people Vala's muzzy But Duff is Jew Duff is Not as brown as But if it was accurate right now Because Vala's muzzy. Vala's muzzy, but Dove is juiced. But if it was accurate right now, like Vala would just have rocks and Dove would have a rocket launcher. Yeah.

Oh, so would it be fair? It wouldn't be fair. I bet I could get his rocket launcher for a couple thousand dollars. Once that shit has some things in it, you could definitely get it.

Once he ain't needed no more. Once he developed a way better rocket launcher, he'd give that shit. We'll give him a one point out. He'd have to avoid that shit has some things in it, you could definitely. Once he ain't need it no more. Once he developed a way better rocket launcher, he'd give that shit. Don't give me the one point out. You're not going to want that shit. Perfect. Y'all got the rocket launcher. You got to throw it like a rock. Yo, but don't sleep on Violet because he probably got a cave with some motherfucker hiding in there.

He could definitely fly some planes into whatever shit. He's Pakistani guys If you were wondering Yeah Okay We got all cultures On this podcast Yeah

We're doing it I don't know Just so we can get the jokes off Yeah yeah Literally Everybody fills a quota So we can make fun of everybody And then it works out

It's mutually assured destruction Yeah We need an Asian intern I was about to say We need a woman then Ha We said jokes We need an Asian intern. I was about to say we need a woman then. We said jokes.

No, no, no. We got to get a girl in here, man. What happened to Taylor, bro? Why y'all stop fucking with Taylor, bro? What do you mean? Oh, don't say y'all. I thought Taylor was here the whole time, bro. I thought that's Taylor. You thought that was Taylor? Yeah, don't say y'all. I thought Taylor was here the whole time, bro. I thought that's Taylor. You thought that was Taylor?

Yeah, you know, he's close enough. He's womanly. He's sitting in the same chair. That's a good point, that answer. You know what I mean? Dove is feminine. Dove is kind of our woman, bro. Yeah, he's 49% gay, so he feels all the poise.

49% gay, multitasking extraordinaire. Oh, son, bro. Talks. You're a sucker for whatever he does. Yeah. Tells you what the fuck to do And you just do it Yeah he'll fuck you Cleans up after these fucking assholes

That's true He cleans up after us I don't want anybody saying We don't have a female presence On this show Don't ever disrespect Flavor 2 Podcasts like that Alright

We got everything covered We really got everything covered bro We got it all done What What did we miss out? Nah, we got it. We missed an actual Asian Asian, but you're Asian enough up here. That's true. Nah, we need an Asian. We need an actual Asian?

You know, it's funny. In England, they call us Asians and them Chinese. What? They act like they were trying to shame Americans. They're like, oh, you guys call South Asian. South Asian. They're just Asian here. I was like, okay, well, what do you call Korean people? They're like, oh, you guys call South Asian. South Asian. They're just Asian here. I was like, okay, well, what do you call Korean people? They're like, oh, they're just Chinese.

I was like, you're not better than us. It's the same shit. That's fucked up. They're doing China's bidding. What do you mean? He's calling every Asian. That's the thing. China's just trying to run it like that.

That's super disrespectful. They are the reason why we do that. That's not our fault. That's China. That's on China. They inceptioned it into us. They inceptioned it into it. They inceptioned it into us. All Spanish people call Asians,

Gino. Oh my God. And where has China had an influence recently? South America, Central America. Yeah. Oh my. This is all their plan.

That's the thing. It's not our fault for being racist. A lot of that shit has just been pushed on us. Yeah. That's good point. That's correct. We're victims. We're victims.

And also China made us think that all y'all look the same too. Yeah. How? They did. How? Because they're like, people can look similar.

Yeah, have you seen that video where the old bitch goes up to an old Asian lady with a mask and she's not scared at all and then he takes off the mask and he's black

and the lady freaks out? He goes up to this old Asian lady wearing an Iron Man mask, right? And he goes, boo! And then she's just like, scared at all. Then he takes off the mask and he's black and the lady freaks out. He goes up to this old Asian lady wearing a Iron Man mask. He goes, boo! Then she's just like, what are you doing? Then he takes off the Iron Man mask and he's just a black dude.

This bitch damn near throws her pho at the guy. I don't know if it was pho. I don't know if it was Vietnam. That's what they did with Black Panther in China. What'd they do? They put a mask on... What's the guy's name? Phil Martin?

The main guy? Oh, Michael B. Jordan. Yeah, they put a mask on him. In the regular one, it's just Michael B. Jordan just being black. And then on the China promotional poster, they put a mask on him. I mean... They're going to find out he's black. That's what I'm saying, right?

Once they buy the ticket. Yeah, that's crazy. But then you already got him in. Dude, the first scene of that movie. Oh, my God. Number one horror movie in China. That's their exorcist over there. It's like, this shit is terrifying.

They were on the screen for every scene. Oh, my God. Wait till they see Hamilton, dude. They're going to be like, what is happening? Maybe that's how we keep them out. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Is that what Hollywood is doing?

We need another black president. Hollywood is trying to preserve America and try to keep Asians out of America, specifically the Chinese. They know how terrified they are of black people. So they're putting them in all the roles in Hollywood. Black lives matter. Black lives matter. Superman is black. Leave us alone.

Whoa. They're using their racism as kryptonite. This is amazing. That's the plan, bro. Once again, black people save America. We do it. That's what you guys do, yo. We prop you guys up.

Nah, you do it. Y'all do save America, dog. We do. Black people have been saving America. They do. Can't even hate. I'm still trying to think of the thing. But what is the thing that they,

what did you save us from? I mean, like, we give America pride. That's fucked up. How you gonna steal my culture? Black people give America pride. Black people give America pride. Yeah, so when we're winning everything in the Olympics. Yup, that's good. That's a fact.

Yeah, that's only one of the Olympics. What you mean? Every summer. Y'all back in Winter Olympics, I ain't seeing y'all do nothing. Who watches that? You're dead weight. Who watches that? Y'all are dead weight. When's the last Winter Olympics?

When was it on the last? When was the last Winter Olympics? Last winter. No, it wasn't. Two winters ago. You just keep going until the last. Or three. It was in the last four years.

Nobody chooses a time sheet. Yo, you think that's why the Summer Olympics is one year late? Because it's just so many black people that couldn't be on time? Yo, that is fucked up, son. That is fucked up. That is fucked up. Fucked up because it's true.

Yo, we all know, wait, we gotta get our outfits right. Not the uniforms. That we beef a lot. Nah, but that is true. But y'all, we carry you guys in the Winter Olympics. Downhill skiing, y'all not skiing. Short track speed skating. Y'all not even speed skiing. American

culture around the world is just black culture. How you figure, bro? You've got Asians fucking breakdancing. And y'all claiming as an American thing. That's the whole world? Korea? The whole world is Korea? Right now, up to China. Korea's about to be China. Say Korea. Korea is about to beat China. Say what?

It's going to beat China. You think China is taking over Korea? Hell yeah. Over my dead body. Everyone who... Over my dead body. You stopping him? Let me tell you something.

What you going to do? If they even try to come for Korea... Which one? What? Which one? North or south? They can take the top part. They already got it.

Do they? Pretty much. Basically. Yeah. They run that shit? I mean, it's all... It's communist. It They run that shit? I mean, it's all... It's communist. It's in the bag.

I mean, it's same to same. That shit's same to same. Same to same, bro? Yeah, they bodied them. Dumped. They're allies. All right, well, if they come for South Korea, I'm tight, bro. Yeah.

I'm super tight. South Korea hours. What you gonna do? The South will rise again, bro. The South will rise again, bro. Real talk. We gonna bring out them stars and bars. Give them a South Korea. Yeehawaw brother real talk we gonna arm them koreans dog yeah we're gonna do it i mean that

sincerely i got i got south korea's back yeah what about japan what china comes for japan i like japan i got their back too japan there are certain countries well i will i will not help you thought japan was trash when you went over there. Fuck Japan. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? To be honest, even when I said it and it came out, it didn't feel right. When I said it and it came out, it didn't feel right. Fuck, Japan could go.

Honestly, there are certain parts of Japan that could stay, but most of it, you're out of here. I like the cuisine. You just like the food. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second Because the Knicks got a big fucking game coming up And we're gonna put some money on it I'm gonna put some money on it Alright and you know if I'm gambling

I'm only doing it in one place It's mybookie.ag simple as that Now I know you might not be a fan of the Knicks Some of you Were not fortunate enough to be born In the greatest city in the entire world And that's why That's the only reason if you were, you'd be rocking with us, but you can also gamble on your respective teams.

You can gamble on any fucking sport that exists. I'm betting on my Knicks. I know that we're down three one, and I know that this Wednesday is going to be a very big game, but I'm putting that fucking money down. I'll tell you why else I'm putting that money down at mybookie.ag because they're matching the initial fucking investment up to a thousand dollars think about that that's a free thousand that you get to gamble on whatever fucking game you want a matter of fact atlanta i'm calling out on them hawks fans right now if you think you got it put your money where your mouth is go to mybookie.ag okay make sure you use

that promo code flagrant and they're gonna match your first deposit bonus we can both put some money up on the game matter of fact if you're not from atlanta i don't care where you from let's put some money up on this knicks hawks game because the knicks are coming fucking through my bookie.ag use that promo code flagrant get that initial bonus matched okay or that initial deposit matched. Okay? My bookie got you. Good gambling. Have fun. Let's get back to the show. I like sushi, bro. They figured it out. That's it. That's it. You just like ate.

It was good, right? Yeah. Al just skipped out on a piece of shit. Oh, yeah. Thank you for remembering that. What a piece of garbage Al is. Skip out. Definitionally, you skipped out. No, I didn't. The way people define skipping you skipped out. No, I did not. The way people define skipping out is exactly the same.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yo, Al. It's time. No more, Al. Get your lickings from the group. Al.

Al. No, I didn't skip out. Yo, I was celebrating the end of our journey in Miami. By yourself? No, I was out. Yeah, that makes it worse. I was out with Megan. I was celebrating the end of our journey in Miami. By yourself? No, I was out. Yeah, that makes it worse, bro. You didn't invite none of us? You didn't invite none of us? We were acting like a lot of...

Wait, how can I say this? We were celebrating. We were celebrating. We were celebrating in a way that you guys don't typically like to celebrate. Going to the club? No, we was at a pool party popping bottles and shit. Oh. Like we ain't never popped bottles?

No, you don't. You never. Like, I don't do that. Yo, give me that bottle. Dub, I invited you because I know you would enjoy it. How's the boy say that shit? How's the? Dre.

Dre? Popped bottles? You don't think we ever pop bottles? No, you popped those. You stole our whole flow. Come on. I invited Dub because Dub enjoys that type of shit. When you were already there, about to leave.

You were already there. Thank you. Keep it going. Keep it going. Pulled up in that old ass Tesla. They probably laughed at your ass, son. They even parked that shit up front. Yo, keep going.

Tell them what this sellout motherfucker did. This is the end of Miami, right? This is our last few hours in Miami. Studios packed up. Studios fully packed up, ready to go. Got your movers. Remember you wanted movers. Yeah, but you didn't get the lead up part.

So that day we were supposed to be on a boat. And we didn't go on a boat because it was windy. You were a little scared of some wind. Oh, my God, wind. I can't have a good time on a boat because it's going to be a little windy. It's kind of fun. I wasn't going to spend $5,000 if it was windy. Or maybe. That's the reason. For $5,000 if it was windy. Or maybe.

That's the reason. For $2,500, maybe. But for $5,000, it got to be perfect. So I took my ass to the pool where it was a little windy. But we was good, popping bottles and shit. And you couldn't invite us to the pool? Yeah. I invited this guy.

You would not have come. So you was down to go on the windy boat? Hell yeah. But when you had to have the pool that was windy, you weren't willing to invite us. Oh, wait. Actually actually I did invite you. No you didn't. Yes I did when you were complaining about the predicament that you were in. You were complaining

about the predicament. I was in the predicament. And then I was like yo come here it's popping. And then Dove followed up with come here because Dove was at something else. That's why I did invite you earlier but you were already at something. Okay let's do this. Dove said come here because it's popping. Okay let's do this. After you were already at something. Okay, let's do this. And Dove said, come here, because it's perfect. Okay, let's do this.

After you were already there, you invited us, which is a piece of shit thing to do. On the group chat. You were already at the thing. Maybe he was scouting it. Maybe he was just seeing if the vibe was cool. You're not doing the fun thing right now,

which is ganging up. No, no. The ganging up is fun. I'm not going to be logical. No, no, no. This is not logical. Actually, I'm going to... I defend that.

That's fine. Wait, it's going to get fucked up. Just keep telling the story. Okay. Now he's an asshole. Do you know something? I know. I know. Actually, I'm going to defend that. That's fine. Wait, it's going to get fucked up. Just keep telling the story. Now he's an asshole. Do you know something? I know. I know. Okay, okay.

I'm on his side for now. I know enough. Okay, okay, okay. I don't like that. This is how stupid he is. This is how dumb he is. He posts where he's at all day on Instagram. So we see him being a piece of shit.

You know what I mean? I got to see on Instagram that you're a piece of shit. I gotta see on Instagram. You're a piece. I invited you know you Already there you invited us because we invited you somewhere and you were like, well, I guess the right thing to do You wouldn't have come It's called a free invite okay anytime, know someone's not going to come, you can just. He was embarrassed of us. So that's worse. He was embarrassed of us.

You were embarrassed of us. You were embarrassed of us because we're not the same color skin as you. Yeah, you. Oh, you were fucking racist. You don't want to look like you're selling out in front of your black friends. Yeah, exactly. You can pretend I'm doing your taxes. We're your friends when you want to get free clothes from people who DM you.

But not when you want to go pop bottles. I see how it is. I see how it is. Those are racist black people. When you want to get free clothes from people who DM you but now when you want to go pop bottles Did Schultz get you a yacht for your birthday That's how you gonna cover me, Doug? But you know what? He's a drunk. He's powered.

Hey, don't deflect, Doug. Don't deflect. And after I got the fucking boat, right, for his birthday, right?

After I got the boat for his birthday, he's gonna have the nerve a couple months later to say to me, man, you just got that for yourself. Wow. No, I didn't. Wow.

You said that to me, and I said, Weezy left you to die on your birthday. She left you to die on your birthday. And I came in and saved the day. Stroll saves Alex. I saved Alex. If Alex wants a boat, we're going to get him a boat.

Don't find a discount. That's what happened. It might be a dinghy. Who knows? We're going to be on the water. We're going to be on the water. It's going to be really windy. That's the Robert, yo.

Thank you so much, Robert. Oh, my goodness. So Weezy left you a die on your birthday. She said, I couldn't do it. So Weezy wanted to get on a boat for her birthday. And so I think she contacted you to try to set up some special surprise situation. It don't matter at all. How generous.

Okay. How generous. Hey, I want to get you a boat for your birthday. Hey, can you get a boat? Schultz figured it out. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Before Al ever invites us, before Al ever invites us to anything nice. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

This is not your time, Al. This is not your time. You don't have your time at the end. Okay, before Al invites us to anything nice, right? Before he even considers his friends, whose blood, sweat, and tears for the last four months. Before he even considers including them. And it's like, after he knows, I'm trying to

get the boat for everybody. After he knows, I'm trying to organize a dinner. We had discussed this the day before. We had discussed this the day before. No, we didn't. No, we did not. You're a liar. Not in front of me. Not in front of me. You're a liar. We had no plan for that Monday. Okay, anyway,

so, he goes like this. It was Sunday. It was a Saturday. He goes like this. I go, yo, we're not going to do the boat, but we're going to do dinner. This is going to be a time, right? Al goes. You said this in text? Because I wasn't there for this.

We got in group chat and then you text back to me privately. I got a little private message. This is where you go, yo. This is where I jump off board. You go, yeah, this is where you fucked up big time. You go, yo, I got three people with me. Oh, yeah, yeah. go, yeah, this is where you fucked up big time. You go, yo, I got three people with me. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, I am fucked up. I am fucked up in my bed. Oh, he going to be singing. He goes, I got three friends with me. Can you get a dinner? Keep in mind, our team is growing. We got a lot of people here. Everybody got a wife, you know what I mean?

Girlfriend, something like that. So everybody's wife's girlfriends are invited. Akash got two friends in town. Akash got two friends in town. Akash got two friends in town. I tell Akash, I go, man, it's going to be tricky, but let me get to work on all this. This is a nice restaurant we're going to. This is very nice.

It's the hardest reservation in Miami to get, this restaurant. And we're doing it on a Saturday night for now 14 people. Okay? Day of. Day of. And you told me no off rent. Shout out to Uchi. Shout out to U Okay. Day of. Day of. And you told me no off rep. Shout out to Uchi. Shout out to Uchi.

Shout out to Uchi. I said, I said no off. I said probably not, but I'm going to see. That's what I said. Probably not. I'm going to see. I said to the group chat. Even when Akash mentioned the whole group chat, I said probably not, but I'm going to see.

Yeah. I went and I locked it in for your friends. Okay. You didn't tell me. Oh. You didn't tell me. You didn't tell me. You gonna make me turn out the phone. You gonna make me turn out the phone. 20 push-ups if I get it right.

Let's see the time. He told him the same time he said my friends are welcome. Your friends are welcome. He might have said your friends first. He might have said, Alex, your friends are good. Akash, yours too. Why I'm afterthought? Why am I afterthought, Andrew?

Yours too. That is fucked up. That's fucked up. This is a good point because you know that he doesn't know how to use his phone that good. I know. Whatever, man. It's in the flagrant. It's part of the flagrant.

F2 Miami. Oh, that's just mad fun. Holy shit. No, this is a smart play, actually. I respect that a lot text the group so it goes back there don't do that

don't do that now don't do that now don't do that don't do that tactical warfare don't do that to me but y'all saw it right oh my god

but y'all saw it right that shit is my man is drowning yo find it hurry up come on son no but y'all saw it, right? If the glove don't fit.

Silver bullet, bro. If the glove don't fit. He's not black. He's Alex. You must not quit, all right? Wow. Hold on, bro. Nah, but real talk.

I got drunk as fuck, and I missed it. I don't got no argument for that one, because I take it drunk as fuck. You're popping bottles at the pool. Yeah, I was popping bottles at the pool. I'm celebrating. It sounds so fun, though. Where the fuck is it? Now I'm bottles at the pool. I was celebrating. It was so fun, though. Where the fuck is it? Now I'm getting upset.

So we got people listening, Drew. This is content. I don't know, but it's here somewhere. Fuck you guys, man. Technology got me. I gotta look for this shit, bro. Oh, no, I got it. Here we go. We're going back. We really good.

Take a screenshot quick. Ready? I got it. Ready? Here it go. We're going back. We really good. We good. Ready? I got it. Here it is. Got the reservation increased. Your people are good. Alex, your people are good as well. What time is it? 5.12 p.m. I'm drunk already.

I'm drunk already is the excuse? That's what I said when I got a drunk driving accident. I'm lit. I'm really sorry. I'm just seeing this right now. Someone is napping from earlier today. I don't think we'll make it. He tells me that at

9.05. What time is the reservation? What time is the reservation? 9 o'clock. Five minutes after the nap. Who naps at 9 o'clock? Then what happens? Then what do we see later on the Instagram story? I still have to eat. Wow. Went out to dinner

with his friends 30 minutes later. No, no, no. They weren't there. It was just... Went out to dinner. So you're going to ask me to get your friends there, right? Yeah. We changed the whole reservation. Changed the whole table dynamic.

Changed the whole table dynamic Changed the whole table dynamic Let's be honest It was better without me right No it would have been better with you bro We wanted you there No we wanted him there That's how people We love you

Unlike you we love you bro And we want to spend those last hours with you And celebrate what we accomplished in Miami I wanted to be there i did want to be there but i that is the most deadbeat dad shit i ever heard in my entire life i'm making a graduation i really want to be there i'm consistent yeah what we're consistent it's unbelievable dog it's truly unbelievable do you apologize i do apologize to whom to everyone here everyone here. Apologize to yourself. I apologize. You let yourself down, though.

You let yourself down. Nah, I wish I was there. I do. I felt the way. You felt the way with yourself? Yeah. Should we tell him? Yeah, tell him.

We didn't really go to dinner, bro. We were pranking you. We never went to dinner. And we were trying to get you to go. And then just have you be there. Nah, that's not true. Because I hit Dove on the side. And he was like, oh, it's good you didn't come because his boys were.

No, I was getting the play-by-play from Andrew. What's he doing here? Fuck, I thought we were getting it right now. Yeah, he was in his feelings on text with me. Yeah, I was in my feelings. I was trying to make it. I was trying to pull up. At 9 o'clock, you messaged me.

I was going to run. That's when I woke up. I don't want to hear it anymore. Let's talk about another fucking thing. What else do we got? SLS pool party. Pretty nice. Did you move into your spot?

No, not yet. That shit got pushed back, motherfuckers. Wait, what do you mean? I moved into my original apartment, but the new place that I'm moving into Right That doesn't have someone who used to smash My fiance in the building

That I know of I mean So yeah that one The certificate of occupancy for the building isn't Available until like June 14th Oh that's fine you get a couple weeks. Enjoy your current spot. You're good. What about you guys?

You're strong. You're almost all moved in. Looking gorgeous. You're a strong man, though. Say what? You're a strong brother. I would have been out of that shit. Yeah. Having a bump in time, motherfucker. Yeah, ownership is a different game. Yeah, fuck it. I don't care. I don't care. That was a renter. You don't care, don't care that was a renter you don't care

but it's the first thing you just brought up right now comedic effect vulnerable you know what I mean but realistically speaking what are you gonna do yeah that's also a rent in a building in the city we could live in where I haven't fucked something so we literally had to get a new building. Just wash away both of our sins. What about you, Mark? You found a new spot yet?

Working on it. It's not going down? It's just, everything's so competitive. Yeah. But we'll get there. Yo, seeing Dove text us about New York City, like shit that we're all accustomed to,

is so funny. It's so funny. It's so funny. This shit is hard. You realize like after you've gone for a while and you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. Shit is 100% real. I mean that. Because this is what I was thinking

is like we were gone for four months but we were really gone for what New York is for a year and four months because during the pandemic and quarantine it wasn't new york like the feeling about people in general wasn't new york and so that's the longest i've ever not been around new york in my life i know i went to school but i would come back every few months yeah and also when you're you're younger so oblivious but now coming back, I'm like, yo, this shit is, I get it.

If you could thug this out right here, you could, you could make it in most places. Cause Miami was pleasant. Son, I hate being back. Real talk. Why am I wearing this jacket on May 31st? Oh my God.

Yo, he was living, bro. We got out of the plane. He goes, what the fuck are we doing? What is this? What is this?

You know how like, this is how, fuck it. Oh, don't get me this? You know how like when a plane connects to the fucking airport there's like that little Yes bro That fucking wind hit you? Not even the wind, I got rained on in between the plane and the airport I'm like really? Already? Already New York?

You already shitting on me? Already bro? We get out the airport, it's 50 degrees, 40 degrees or something. I haven't seen sun the whole time here. It's unbelievable, bro. I hate coming back, yo. You're a New Yorker. You're a New Yorker.

I've been here 13 years, but I never say I'm a New Yorker because I know y'all are New Yorkers. When we left, I was like, I don't miss this shit at all. Why would we go back? Why would we ever go back? Y'all, I get it. For me, I did my time. I'm undeniably happier in Miami. Undeniably so. No, I am. Undeniably so.

Guy posting when you're driving over a bridge and shit like that. You happy as fuck. I did need some content. I did need some content. I picked a fire song content but you know what it does I would post on your way to Miami cuz I've been so happy the more I post the more miserable I am that's a good point Miami you just happy bro you like what I need a pose for it's a great point it's gorgeous everything's it but part

of the existence of New york is dealing with this we're too old for that yo not yet i agree with you on some level but like the highs are higher and the lows are lower so the experience the highs that you feel in new york when some shit goes well like what i experienced at that nick game was unbelievable i mean the energy was was crazy like there's nothing compared to that anywhere else so like the highs are so much higher because the lows are lower yeah but you gotta admit bro you're gonna deal with some low shit yeah the very next day after that game you're pulling me on an electric huck that's dead across the bridge i'm on a city bike not even the electric one and he's literally pulling my bike over this bridge and i'm like trying to dodge the tire plus

oncoming traffic and i'm wearing miles is like motorcycle helmet, holding two bags and totes to pick up this art. I was just like, we show up, I'm sweating. I'm just like, this is annoying. That was right on.

Originally on the back of my bike. Shouts a huck man. Best electric motorcycles on the fucking planet. Um, and I ran one red light and, uh, he was, he was done. He said he ran the red light and he was done. I ran the red light.

He didn't even say it aggressive. Like he said it so matter of fact. Like I ran the red light and he just goes, let me off. Super calm. Super like. I'm like, we're 37, bro. What are you doing? Let me off.

Let me off. Let me off. It was like this. He was like, let me off. What are we even trying to accomplish right now? I don't even get how you did that to begin with. Say what? I don't get how you did that to begin with.

You're two grown ass men on a bicycle. He was trying to hold me straight. He had his hands on my shoulders. And I was like, man, we go over one bump. And you are slipping right off my shoulders. Why do guys always do that, bro? They go on the shoulders. Because they don't want to be gay holding you around your abs.

I then interlocked around the waist. No, I made him grab my thighs like that. So he did like. That's a good leverage point. And then I sat on the thighs. That's a good leverage point. Keep your hands warm, too. I sat on his hands, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's supposed to be sideways on his seat. That's how you do it. That's the only straight way to do it. You got to be like this. No eye contact. You got to go back to back. I don't even know where we going, fans. Just let me know over here.

You got to pretend like you're not on it. How did I get here? You got to act like you're kidnapped. Help. My boy would do that shit anytime his girl would hand him his purse. He'd just hold it like someone lost a purse. He'd be like, yo, is this yours? Did you drop this, miss?

I don't know, boys. You happy to be back? I am. Everybody seems happy. I am happy to be back. I am happy to be back. And it's been... Miles and Mark were like,

I felt the energy coming in. I was so happy. I was like, sit your young ass down. What you need energy for? You're 24. You went to hospital. I'll be honest with you. I haven't even slept right.

Huh? Like, there's something about it, man. There's something about the city. There's so many people doing things you think you got shit to do. When you can go to your, like, house where you have a fucking, like, backyard and pool, you can check out from the world. Right? But in New York, you can't check out from the world.

Even if you look out your window, you got a thousand people outside doing something, going somewhere. Everybody's in a rush. It makes you feel like you got shit to do like i got the tunnel literally next to my my place where i'm at right now so i'm seeing people go into the tunnel right like they they going somewhere yeah they doing something they got shit to do so i better do some shit so it's impossible to feel like i don't know for me it's impossible to relax and like i'm i'm i forgot what it was like to just Like be up all night thinking mind racing. Yeah, you sent me a text at like 4 a.m

I also couldn't sleep you send me text like 5 a.m to the group and I was like What the fuck or then you know I'm a guest and I was like this guy's not normally up this early and he normally don't have Trouble sleeping. Yeah 6 a.m. Or whatever and that's it. Nah, I'm juiced up. I don't know, man. We back, baby. We back.

We back, bro. What, Mark? What? Mark's giggling. What? Mark, get your fucking apartment situated. Yeah, no, I need it. Mark's trying to lowball apartments in New York. Get Dove on it, yo.

No, every time Mark tries to Dove, it's so funny, dude. I'm so bad at it. He's the worst. Yeah, I still have a Southern sensibility to me. Oh, God dude. I'm so bad at it. He's the worst. Yeah, I still have like a southern sensibility to me. Oh, God. One time he was trying to negotiate a fucking motorcycle, bro. It was so funny, I had to reach out to the guy to just figure out exactly what happened.

Dove, help me. He's the one that drafted it. So he goes, he asks how much the motorcycle is, right? Over Instagram. And the guy says a number, like $7,500. Mark's like, you think we can do $5,500? What is instagram and uh the guy says a number like 7500 or marks like uh you think we can do 5500 what is the exact response the guy said i it was something like fuck no the price is the price yeah yeah yeah bullshit walks or something yeah he just got broken on his first truffle it was so funny funny. I reached out to the guy myself. I was like, yo, what happened to that nice ass bike?

Yeah. And, uh, and the guy was like, uh, I'll give it to you for like 57 50. What? Yeah.

This is not true. Nah, I made that up. You should have just copped it. Oh, you didn't have $250. Bro, bro, see you later of spite. Oh, you didn't have $250, bud? Bro, bro.

See you later, buddy. Yeah, I don't know. That's the thing they don't tell you about truffling. Is that like it's almost better to pay the money to not have to deal with the truffle. You know what I mean? But the joy is in the truffle for him. That's the thing that we don't understand. For us, the joy is in the deal.

It's like listening to like a marathon runner or some shit. It's like to us, running is punishment. But to him, he loves the process of running. Yes, the process. He just loves the whole is in the deal. It's like listening to a marathon runner or some shit. It's like to us, running is punishment. But to him, he loves the process of running. Yes, the process. He just loves the whole thing. I imagine. I'm speaking for you here. But he's in love with the process.

We're in love with the outcome. So the process is painful for us. Yes. But his whole shit is like, all right, I'm troubling you. If it don't work, well, I'll find someone else to trouble. Yeah, but I also like the result of it. I'm trying to do you guys all favors. So, yeah, that gives me joy.

What? No, that is a good point. Like, we took that away from him. I'm afraid to let you down. No, but the selflessness of that, like, helping you in something that you feel like we're incompetent at. Oh, yes. Yeah, it's like watching Akash fix a mic. Yeah.

Like, that's how, when he sees us negotiating, that's how we feel when he's fixing his mic. Yeah. Is that how bad we are? What is it like? What are we when we negotiate? Are we like a fucking... Like a housewife putting her bag in an overhead bin? It's Lakers Showtime watching the JV team

at a Jewish school. Fuck you. But it really is amazing, though. Bro, he... Because when he negotiates, he's not Dove. You know that, right? Who is he? He's Dove.

He's Dove. He's whoever he needs to be, but he is Dove. Whatever I need to be. Yeah, it's amazing. He gets on line with this fucking landlord. He's like, hey, it's Dove. It's Dove. I'm Mark's friend.

I'm his Jewish friend. No, Dove, he don't say I'm his Jewish friend. Dove lets him know. Oh, yeah, that's off bat. I'm talking about slow-mo. He knows what a Dove is. He's been a couple doves,

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Okay, let's do some feelings, no facts, boys. We out here kicking. All right, you want to rifle through some? Yeah. All right, this one we kind of touched on a little. How do people get your Venmo, your personal Venmo? How is that out there? It's probably your name, bro.

You probably got a picture in that picture. No, I don't think my shit is my name. Katerina just asked for some grocery money. Nope. Vemo how does that out there? Probably your name Katerina just asked for some grocery money. Nope. Really? Yeah, you bitches be asking for groceries. How much $37 Some random bitch did you should have did that I should have given it to him. Yeah Oh You should have done that. I should have given it to him? Yeah. Nah. Oh, actually, no, no, no. That would backfire. I was thinking like, oh, she'll repost how nice Andrew Schultz was and then everybody's going to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nah, nah, nah. Fuck. Don't do that shit. Fuck them all. Nah, you should say no and then put a comment, fuck no, or whatever he said to Mark. Bullshit walks. Bullshit walks.

Bullshit walks, bro. Yo, did you guys see the big girl, the big WNBA girl, complaining about the coach that says she's 300 pounds? Yeah. This video's hilarious. But basically, there's this girl. I think her name is Liz Cambridge or some shit like that. She's, like, born in London and, like, grew up in Australia

but got no accent from either place. She talks like she's from America. And she was – she's a WNBA player. And the coach from the opposing team was trying to get a call from one of his players. And he goes, come on, ref. She's 300 pounds. Right? Which is what you would say To a male basketball player

Like you would Reference their weight That's a big boy That's a big boy Like They would do a shack all the time Like what are we supposed to do The guy's 300 pounds

How is it not charging This that the other But he did it to the girl So the girl went on And she was like Oh my god You can't talk about A woman's weight like that

I'm a proud big You know big bitch Or whatever like that I'm proud She's 6'8 I'm 6 proud big, you know, big bitch or whatever like that. I'm proud. She's six, eight, two. She's I'm six, eight, two 35, blah, blah, blah. Talking all this shit about how you can't say how big she is. Meanwhile, bitch wearing a fucking McDonald's sweatshirt.

Don't I want to hear no weight conversations. If you in McDonald's merch, but also if big is beautiful, he just made you more beautiful. He added 65 pounds. That's the point. If big is beautiful, he made you more beautiful, he just made you more beautiful. He added 65 pounds. That's the point. If big is beautiful. He made you more beautiful. He's saying you're more beautiful. So who are you?

Now you're shaming actual 300 pounders by being like, no, that's disgusting. I'm not like that. Also, you don't even know how much pounds are. Bitch, you're from Australia. You don't even know what your system is messing up. Maybe she thought it was 300 kilos. And she was like, that's morbid. Is that more or less?

That's more. That's more. So if you're on kilos, that's super super disrespectful But 300 pounds is really not that far off 235 to 300? That's a difference bro That's like 25 kilos I don't know how much women weigh bro because I don't know how dense titties are That's a good point

I don't know how much women weigh I told my girl how much she weighed once and she was shocked So it's like And she's not even big titted So if imagine a big titted girl I told my girl how much she weighed she was shocked. So it's like, and she's not even big-titted. So if, imagine a big-titted girl. I told my girl how much she weighed. Yeah,

well, she asked me, she's like, how much do you think I weigh? And I was like, this ain't gonna go well. I know, I want to ask so bad.

Because you also can't go too low. I went low. I said she weighed 50 pounds. Yeah, that's a good move. Is she like a golden retriever? I was like, you weigh 50 pounds.

She looked at me, she's like, Sabi weighs 40 pounds. I was like, when he's? You weigh 50 pounds. She looked at me. She's like, Sabi weighs 40 pounds. I was like, when he's standing up, he ain't that far off. I don't know. But if a girl got huge titties, you could be 5'3 with huge titties. How much you weigh? 180? Skinny with huge titties. How much does

that girl weigh? What's her name? Kate Upton. She gotta weigh 180 or something, right? Yeah, that sounds fair. Because you don't know the breasts alone are probably 100 it's called the heavies they're the heavies for a reason bro they gotta be each titty gotta be minimum 20 pounds kate upton is 136 pounds there's no way mark mark mark they can't be complaining all the time about back pain if they just carrying around little three pound weights those are her nba numbers like you know like that's the number she scored it a little bit bro there's no she got to be 160 to 180 pounds she's 510 she's not 5 pound 135 when she got the super come on there's no way you guys there's no way you think that's 135 pounds with them huge things least 160. 160 to 180. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm not saying she's fat, but the titties themselves have to weigh a certain amount. If you're 5'10", that's size. That's size, bro. Yeah. So it's not wrong for a coach to look at this girl who's 6'8", okay? She got titties and 6'8 titties, mind you. Yeah. 6'8 titties.

Right? She's not 5'3 titties, not 5'6 titties and 6'8 titties, mind you. She's not 5'3 titties, not 5'6 titties. 6'8 titties. You're going to be proportionally bigger to think she's 3+. Yeah, I'm with it. Hey, who knows? The guy's just guessing. Also, she called him little white man. He's not upset about that.

He's like, I am little compared to your big ass. You know what I mean? Right? Compared to your big ass, 300 pounds, I'm little. Big breasted ass. Big breasted ass. You know what I mean? Right? Commander, you're a big ass. 300 pounds. I'm little. Big breasted ass. Big breasted ass. Big breasted ass lady. That's a big bitch. That's a big bitch with her fucking McDonald's.

With a McDonald's sweatshirt. How often you gotta go to McDonald's and be like, I need to start wearing this shit, bro. This is fire, bro. You can't be in the complaint about the weight. Especially if you can't say it on Fat Shame and then you fat shame by being like, I'm not 300 pounds, okay? Fucking disgusting. Yeah. You fat shame in 300 pounders that are actually 300 pounds.

That's a good ass point, too. That's what I'm saying. That's hypocritical. He's just saying you're gorgeous. I like your point best. If big is beautiful, he's saying you're gorgeous. Gorgeous. More beautiful.

More beautiful. I need to weigh her, real talk. How do I know you're gorgeous gorgeous more beautiful more beautiful i need to weigh her real talk how do i know you're not 300 how do we know you're not you're just out here saying you're 235 you could not be word get on the scale kate upton she's probably pushing too kate upton might be 200 pounds yo who weighs more vin diesel or k Upton? Oh, Kate Upton for a fact. 100%. Vin Diesel 5'6". No titty meat. That's true.

Kate Upton 5'10". Heavy. Like probably one tit is like the size of a Kevin Hart. She got two Kevin Harts plus her size. Yeah, she's too. That's a fact. I like that math.

As an Indian, I sign off on that math right there. And you know what's disrespectful about this, Akash? She got all these other girls with big titties thinking they're fat for not weighing 200 pounds. When they look just like her, they're like, oh my gosh, she's 135. She got the heavies. I got the heavies and I'm 160. What the fuck is wrong with me? Nothing.

Be honest about your fucking weight. Nothing. You got the heavies. You got the heavies. They're called the heavies and I'm 160, what the fuck is wrong with me? Nothing. Be honest about your fucking weight. Nothing. You got the heavies. You got the heavies. We call them the heavies so you feel better about yourself. Yeah. We're not calling them the shmediums. Yeah. We're not calling them the lights. Big is beautiful, so they're the heavies. You Mr. Texas right now, aren't you?

Everything's bigger. The heavies are bigger. We love the heavies. That's what I'm talking about. Liz Cambridge need to apologize. I think she owes every big woman an apology. She owes every big woman an apology.

Also, according to this, she's 216. I need her. I need her on the scale. If it's a conversation about weight and you are basing your discrimination

in weight, we need you on the scale. We need a way. We need a way. And if you're 216, you know, maybe you want to put on a few pounds, be a little more scale. We need a weigher. We need a weigher. And if you're 216, you know, maybe you want to put on a few pounds, be a little more beautiful. That's up to you. I'm not going to tell you what to do. But big is beautiful.

We all think so. I'm just, I know it seems disrespectful to just straight weigh women. That's crazy. Yeah. But if you're basing your disrespect on weight, we need to prove. That's a fact. Right or wrong? That's a fact.

The feeling is right. The feeling is right. The feeling is right. The facts may be not. It's a whole carnival attraction. I agree. If the guy who's right, she ain't get the prize. We need to get one of those guys that guess your weight, guys. We need one of them.

Guess your weight. Oh, the carnival. You can guess what they are yeah we need one of them watch the video and let us know if any of you guys had that job because you look 300 he going off what he sees and he sees a beautiful woman he sees a beautiful woman but he's also like that's 300 300 pounds but why is that disrespectful if you just look and go, that's 300? Yeah. Again, he's just making you more beautiful. I don't know what's to be offended about. You got to take this private conversation online.

Yeah. That's foul. It's too much. It's better to round up. Like the movie 300, it didn't look like 300 or a motherfucker. Yeah. But you just round up. It was probably like 260. Probably about 208.

They was lean, bro. I bet they came in there with about 210. Yeah. 210. And they were like, well, we're just going to go to war with 210 people. Now it's like 300. Boom. Dude.

That's another thing. It's like if you're used to seeing men that are 6'10". Yeah. And then you see a girl, you're like, oh, they're probably about the same. No, women weigh more. Women weigh more. Because they got tits. Yeah.

Anthony Davis is 250. Say what? Anthony Davis is 250 at 6'10". So he's just kind of basing it off that. He's like, oh, yeah, Anthony Davis is about that tall. If Anthony Davis had 250 at 6'10". So he's just kind of basing off that. He's like, Anthony Davis is about that tall. If Anthony Davis had titties, he'd probably be around 300. Boom. Yeah. I don't think that this guy's in the wrong at all. No. And I think

this girl needs to start speaking in her God-given accent. Because it's crazy. It's crazy out here. It's getting crazy out here. What else we got? American culture. I'm telling you. Alright,, we're going to take a break for a second because I got to talk to you about a hypothetical, okay? You started your own online store, let's say.

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Enter the offer code flagrant, and you are going to get that 60-day free trial. Make ship happen. Now, let's get back to it. What else we got, man? You want to talk about Elliot Page? Oh, yeah. Elliot Page damn near transformed into Pete Davidson.

See this picture, bro? She yoked. He yoked. She the queen of Staten Island, bro. Yo, you got to look at who did this surgery, yo. Whoever did this surgery, I'm seeing. I'm tired of working out. No, no, no.

My man did it. What do you mean? My man is fit. No, no. His body is amazing. Dude's got abs, bro. And you've seen her titties. That's Juno's titties, bro. What do they do with those?

What do they do with them? They put them in each ab. Oh, they do fat transfer. Yo, you want to know some crazy thing? The abs that you see, these Instagram bitches, they got abs now. Cardi B got abs, but it's an ab transfer? Yo, you want to know some crazy thing? The abs that you see, these Instagram bitches, you know how they got abs now? Cardi B got abs, but it's sculpted?

They stretch the obliques, and then it gives you definition on the side. My, oh, is that what they do? Yeah, so they have the one, if they have definition on the side, they take the oblique and stretch it down. So then it makes it pop out a little bit. That's crazy, yo.

I was under the impression that they do fat transfers so that they look like abs, but if you touch them, they're not hard at all. No, no, no. It's actually muscle. I was told otherwise. So they get the fat transfer, so they take the fat out. So now you make the waist small. And then you take part of your oblique muscle,

you cut it, stretch it, so now it's like more tight, like it's toned. And so now your muscles always tone yo botox media knows a lot about surgeries bro media been in the game why don't they stretch your calves why they ever try doing that they stretch your calves up a little bit no i gotta get i need implants at this point yo if you're gonna do it do it i kind of respect this familiar page like i don't give a fuck about your Like sex or gender or whatever the fuck

You always want to tell people about But if you're gonna do it if you're gonna transition Do it That motherfucker did it You know We see people half ass their transition And you just look stupid You just do

It looks dumb but if you go all in, burn the boats. Get the abs. Burn the fucking boats. Burn the boats, bro. He couldn't wait to show that picture though because the fucking titty surgery scar wasn't even healed yet. He still had stitches in and everything, bro.

He's like, nah, you're going to see these abs, bro. The abs are popping, bro. Yeah, I couldn't even notice. The question is, is he a fuckboy now? Everything, bro. It's like, nah, you're going to see these abs, though. The abs are popping, bro. Yeah, I couldn't even notice. I just saw the abs. So the question is, is he a fuckboy now? Because he look like a fuckboy, bro. Get a neck tattoo. He really does, man.

Shit. I think he got to lean all the way in. He's a DJ now. That motherfucker is a DJ. That might be a chain smoker. That's a heat turn into a chain smoker, bro. Yo, this how good the surgery is. We calling this bitch he.

Yeah. We never do that. You got to have respect for somebody smoker, bro. Yo, this is how good the surgery is. We calling this bitch he. We never do that. You got to have respect for somebody that fit, yo. I mean, he's out here teaching a Peloton class probably. Elliot Page can whoop your ass, bro. That's the whole thing. Son, it is unbelievable. We got to talk to Muscle Doc, see what he's on.

Yeah. Because you know he's on some sort of testosterone, steroid, some shit. Oh, man. I'm honestly convinced he got a pecker bro I think he done Grown out a pecker I think he done Grown out a pecker bro Yo he did it huh

I need to see Elliot Page's penis bro I wanna see it I would like to see it If the body looks that good Imagine a penis With the abs on the dick Oh okay

100% Man veins on him Come on Veiny as fuck Yeah Central vein It looks like a white Ray J dick Son Elliot Page

About to smash your girl Real tough Dick bench 250 Easy I made my girl unfollow You did? Yeah Why are you following

Machine gun Elliot Yo watch following? Machine Gun Elliot. Yo, watch out for Machine Gun Elliot, bro. Machine Gun Elliot is coming for your bitches. Yeah, you can follow Ellen Page. You can't follow Elliot Page. Are you crazy? Uh-uh. I don't stand for it.

Yo, I got to see the thang he's slanging, bro. I think he's slanging the thang thang. I bet he got the fucking hog. I think he got a nice little hog on him. Pick that shit out. Fresh. Yeah, if you transition, if you went from female to male, what would I get? How big? Exactly what I have.

Nah, what would I go with? Color, thickness, or length? All of the above. Okay. Definitely Pakistani? Nah, I can't go brown, i would go i would go pink dude i do like ninja turtle pink like super pink seen in the dark pink like you've seen in the dark like reflective or reflective hot pink i go hot pink okay hot pink and then girth like dog would you get dog say what like dog oh dog lipstick? Oh, dog lipstick? Yeah.

Yeah. You get a dog lipstick? I do dog lipstick. And I have the head a different color. I would have the shaft pink and the head would be... Yo, when are we going to get to design a dicks? I like this. Son, you can do it now.

Elliot got one, bro. Yeah. She out there. What do you think it look like? Mushroom? Plaid? Oh, shit. That should look like a portobello, son.

I think she got the fat hood, bro. Put it on a burger. Nom, nom, bro. Nom, nom, dude. Real talk. She got the impossible meat. Can we call Tranny Dicks impossible meat? Can we do that?

Yeah, son. We call Tranny Dicks Impossible Meat from now on. I need to see Elliot's Impossible Meat. I need to see Caitlyn's Impossible Meat. I need to see where these surgeries are at. That's only fair. Wait, can we get the surgery? If we see it and it's good enough, we might as well.

We're allowed to, right? Lop it off. Put in another. You never seen how the spaceships connect? Yeah, but then you got the pump pump. Say what? You got the pump pump. I don't want a pump, bro.

I want my dick hard always. You think it's hard all the time? I want it. That's how I want it. Always hard. Default is hard. That's going to be mad uncomfortable. No, it's not.

It's uncomfortable for whoever. For my pants, I'll flip it up to the belly. The only time it's uncomfortable is at the urinal for the people next to me. Because I'm going to pee up like that and then down to the one next to me. Yeah, over the wall. Not even over the wall. I'm going to go flat urinal like this and I'm going to shoot up and then right down, parabola.

So the person's going to go to this one. I'm like, no, no, I'm using that one. He's like, what are you talking about? Voop, voop. It's impressive, dog. It's like the Bellagio. Yes. I like that Bellagio pissing I'm hitting that Bellagio You and the homie get there I watch that show

Come on Is that weird that I want to see Elliot Page's penis bro Why is that weird You want to see women's vaginas What's wrong with seeing Elliot and Paige's pee-pee? That's the thing right there. You don't want to see Caitlyn Jenner's vagina, bro.

I said I'm all about seeing vaginas. You don't want to see their penis? You're the only person who watches porn to see it for dicks. I don't watch it exclusively for that. No, you said that you search out the dicks that you like. It's not exclusive. I like to see the dick I like. That's what I'm saying. I've never searched

a porn for the dick. No, no, no. I'm not going to not watch a porn with a girl just because the dick is trash, but if the dick is to my liking, I will enjoy it more. Yeah. Duh. Duh, don't be the gay guy agreeing with me. That kills you. Fuck, bro.

When a 49% Agrees with you You might be a little bit On the edge He said I 49% Agree with him But no Listen

You want to make sure Everything in the house Looks right You know Valid That's crazy No You pick out the couch

You pick out the ottoman You pick out the side chair There's not dicks You prefer in porn There wasn't a dick Where you're like nice to Vegas crazy But actually, you know, I got the oculus and I didn't like about the girl out I Got the oculus and all the 4d porn. It was all white dicks. And that kind of bothered me.

Because when you look down, you see a dick. And it looks white. So it was weird. Because you came right away? I mean, it was a little too fast. You kept trying to go down. With the Oculus, you're looking down at your own white penis. You're looking down at your white penis, bro.

So you fucked with white dick. That's even gayer. No, that's why I didn't like it. I just said I didn't like that. I just can't believe you did it, though. That sounds interesting. You can have fucking four subs and shit. It's lit. What's the backyard

couch, dude? Rick. Shout out to Rick. Yo, Rick, you're the GOAT. We'd love to have you on Flickr, too. Except I didn't like looking at his penis. You and we kind of live together. We would love that, would we not? You don't want to have Rick the legend? I don't know this guy. I'm sorry. You don't want to earn an extra $3, would we not? You don't want to have Rick the Lejean?

I don't know this guy. I'm sorry. You don't want to earn an extra $3,000 a week? I go for it like that, though. It's one to 5,000 bucks. Just to let you know. If they select you, we have to do a video first to see. And I'm the only male talent here, so we might as well get this video started, okay?

You're already on a leather chair. But I got the whole thing memorized, bro. You do. If you put me in that shitty little room, I can make them videos. It's like you sing along to the Full House theme song. You know all the words. Everywhere you go. Everywhere you go.

I do that when I'm watching you. That one to five thousand. What I need you to do is start by sucking my dick. Cock. I'm motherfucking cock. Start by sucking my cock. The girl I'm motherfucking cock. Start by sucking my cock. The girl goes, right now?

Right now? Yeah. Right now. That's a crazy way to start, though. Couldn't start with getting to know you. He does. He asks for the ID. And then they have to get naked.

He makes them bend over weird and spread his shit. He's like, I got to check it out first. That's five minutes in the video you've seen them al i've watched i'm fucking rick thank you because you like his past nah he is that vein is too big what about his body his body's weird his body's weird too he's up and down but i relate to You know, he's a little breathing a little bit. He's up to heavy, but slowly you go top. Yeah. It's a lot more competitive. I mean, I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive, but he's not going to be a little bit more competitive.

I mean, I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive.

I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. I'm not saying he's not going to be a little bit more competitive. He's not going at it as well. You can hear him breathing a little bit.

He's up to heavy, but you get on top. Yeah, it's a lot more ground and pound. Okay, guys, what else we got? Did we even complete the last thing? Yeah. Yo, so everyone's talking about. See, you see this energy in New York? Y'all get this, man.

Everyone's talking about it. The energy is wild, bro. We're a little bit more miserable. thing yeah yo you so everyone's energy in new york y'all get this by everyone's time the energy is wild bro we a little bit more miserable so we can definitely have some fun so everyone's talking about olivia rodrigo specifically me about how her album is bodying and i know who's this olivia rodrigo the best little school shooter the best pop star she's 18 years old all right so we could talk all right so you you listen to her album this female school shooter music and i was bopping to it this morning in the gym, bro It's fire? Deja Vu

No, is that her song? Deja Vu Yeah, there was another one I was listening to This shit is fire, but it's a little bit psycho It's not fire, stop it It's fire, son It's not fire No, no, it's

This is just the new age Like the girl who made that song Paramore Friday or Paramore That's like Friday? You think she's Rebecca Black? Yeah, this is the same type of music.

It's like popcorn pop bullshit. Emo. Popcorn pop bullshit. Yeah. That's not a night. I don't listen to that boom bap rap. Let's go. You know.

The good old days. You know. Who's uncle is that? Nah. Nah. Nah. What's her name? Olivia Rodrigo.

She's 18 years old. 18 years old. It's school shooter music. Legend. It's female school shooter music. And I realize All this like Adele

All these girls That are scorned By their last man Or whatever That's what women do Instead of shooting up schools They just trash the fuck Out the man

And trash the fuck Out the girl And he can't have no joy And neither can the girl That he's with Have joy The whole time She's hating

She's like Oh you think that All the things That you do with him Are unique No bitch We did them all together Oh shit Real shit have joy. The whole time she's hating, she's like, oh, you think that all the things that you do with him are unique? No, bitch. We did them all together. Oh, shit. She said this.

She's like, oh, now you're all better because of that therapist I got you. He can't even be better, bitch. Yo, that's foul. Maybe you should go to a therapist. Bitch, you holding on to this? She about to shoot some shit up, bro. Talk to somebody. Talk to somebody, Olivia Rodrigo. I don't know her. Was that the shit you were playing

That we were hating on Yeah yeah yeah Yeah that shit That coney shit Nah nah It's fire though It's fire It's fire

Oh she's the top seller This is new to Mark Mark missed all this Cause he was 12 years old Oh yeah you did miss Anx You missed teenage Anx Yeah

He's hearing it for the first time That's actually a good point Cause I'm listening to like Grunge now Oh shit You'd listen to Avril Lavigne bro I'm listening to Grunge now The way you talk about

Olivia Rodrigo Is the way that We talk about Hamilton Remember when you made fun of us Talking about how fire Hamilton is That's what you sound like You sound like this Talking about Olivia Rodrigo

Yeah but Olivia Rodrigo's good But remember when you were Talking about like She has pain She has emotional trauma Nah Yeah you did say that. I didn't say that.

Yeah, you did. Nah, I can see you being into that. You did. I can see you being into that. And you said you wanted to do this to her fanny lips. Wait, what? Get the raspberry going?

Yo, she's 18, dog. Relax, bro. What? Relax, Mark. I'm 24. You're out here looking crazy. I'm 24. Nah, but you were 30, though,

so now you're out there. Yeah, you were grown-ups, bro. You got it. Honestly. I'm 24. Nah, but you at 30 though, so now. You with grown-ups, bro. Honestly. Grow up, Mark. Listen, real talk. Grow up. You need to grow up, bro. Grow the fuck up.

What do you mean? Grow up. Nah, you need to grow up. What do I do that's too usual? You lucky you got the oldest wife of all of us. Mark out here dating older women and shit. Mark I Dating older women And shit

Welcome to the crew You know what we do That shit just dawned upon me Old 25 year old Isn't that crazy I gotta put a pacifier in our girl's mouth before we come to the podcast. Mark helping his girl on a walker and shit get down the stairs. Let's do a party.

Oh, my God. Oh, shit. I'm joking. It's a joke, babe. It's a joke babe It's a joke Alright We date old ass women On this podcast

Right Don't we date some old ass women Yo absolutely Old ass women With some old ass fucking taste Nah Speaking of old ass women J-Lo and Ben Affleck

They rekindling this bullshit Yeah And Diddy's trying to hate Diddy's trying to get Everybody's trying to get in there bro I'm not hate You know why I hate on this He's trying to get his old thing back

I fuck with that. That move, that was a fire move. Just throwback Thursday. Throwback Thursday, right? That's fire. What, Diddy do? Yeah, Diddy. Because Diddy used to split that shit open.

Of course, yeah. He was the first. He really was. The first of many. He made her pop. Whoa. Yep. Whoa.

You see Money Train? Remember how bad she was in Money Train? Yeah, she was bad in Money Train. Yo, Money Train was a fire movie. Fire. What's Harrison's white goat, dog? That's a white goat. That is a white goat, son. Money train remember how bad she wasn't money. She was bad Fire White goat When did you make fire music when she was never She got some bangers shit on the sixth train. You gotta take it to the Bronx get yourself some chonk loves On a six train You gotta take it to the Bronx

Smoke yourself some hookah On a six train You gotta take it to the Bronx Get yourself a little North Face That comes up on your dear boy And have a baby before you're 17 In a six train You gotta take it to the Bronx

Isn't that? Wasn't her? That's from In the Heights or some't that? Wasn't it her? That's from In the Heights or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? That was what she did, right? Yo, her songs are so lit. Yo, her songs are so lit, right?

Because she's from the Bronx, bro. Yeah. No, I didn't know that about her. He got to say In the Heights. I thought she was from Brooklyn. Yeah, you got to say In the Heights. Nah, I've never seen her. Or like Jersey or something like that.

Montclair. Yeah, she's from Montclair. Jenny from The Block. I've never seen her. Or like Jersey or something like that. Montclair. She's from Montclair. Jenny from The Block. Yeah. This is how annoyed I am with archives. Just the word block, knowing a chain could come back in it. Bothered me for that one moment that I said the word. Yeah.

I know. A little bit, huh? You just hang tight, buddy. It bugs him a little bit. It's going to take a while. We're going to win. God bless. I'm in. I'm in forever you know me yeah uh okay but okay do we have any feelings about

what do you guys think you think listen first of all this is what i didn't like about it i remember ben affleck made headlines like a few months ago when he was like oh i remember what the headlines were saying about j-lo when we were dating and it was just so sexist and misogynistic the horrible things these reporters are saying. And I was like, that seems odd from a white guy from Boston. He wouldn't give a fuck about this. This guy's worried about getting his Dunkin' Donuts inside. And then I find out as soon as they break up, he's been trying to holler.

Like, don't use the media and wokeness to try to— He was in wokeness to try to get pussy, and I hate that. More than anything, I hate that. Cancel Ben Affleck, yo. Yo, cancel this motherfucker. Cancel Ben Affleck yo Yo cancel this motherfucker Cancel Ben Affleck Also wasn't he He was on a dating app Like three weeks ago

You remember this Yeah I respect that though That's fire I like that Ben Affleck Yeah Cheating on everybody Getting drunk

That's you Yeah bro that's you You saw the video Where the girl unmatched him Yeah that was fucked up What'd you think about that Well I mean She put it out right

Like she Like she put him on blast Give the description what basically this girl's on do the thing that tell you never to do on stage yeah I was talking about this business weekend I was like yeah I could describe it funny he goes no no more describing you're laying the groundwork they know so basically this girl's on tinder she matches with Ben Affleck and she goes oh there's obviously a fake account there's no way I just matched with Ben Affleck. And she goes, oh, this is obviously a fake account. There's no way I just matched with Ben Affleck. So she unmatched him.

And then he sent her a video and goes, why'd you unmatch me? It's me. I'm Ben Affleck. And then she made a TikTok where she was like, LOL, remember that time I matched with Ben Affleck? Nobody remembers, bitch. It happened to just you on your phone. Yeah, I hate when they do remember when shit. That's so annoying.

I hate it. Remember when LeBron gave me his shirt after the game? We don't remember. Nobody knows anything about your life. That's the point of that. That's so annoying. I hate it. Remember when LeBron, you know, gave me his shirt after the game? We don't remember. Nobody knows anything about your life. That's the point of the. That's Olivia Rodrigo music. That's Olivia Rodrigo music. That's Olivia Rodrigo music.

Okay, Mark, so go on. So then basically she puts out the video, puts him on blast, and is like, yo, I matched with Ben Affleck. He was mad thirsty. And she looks stupid, and he looks all right. I think he looked bad. Ain't nothing wrong with being thirsty, bro. Why'd you unmatch me?

It's me. That's great. But yo, regular bitches look way better than Hollywood ones. I'm telling you, all these actresses and shit. You could be thirsty over J-Lo. Don't be thirsty over some chicken up on East Side. You don't know what that girl looks like. That girl probably hadn't been engaged 12 times. We all know that girl.

Can I see that girl? You know what? That line won me over. Glasses and everything. The whole aesthetic. You won me over. I will say this, is fuck for air conditioning season

is upon us. And ladies, ladies, treat yourself better, bro. Treat yourself better. This is a PSA from Chelsea to you. Treat yourself better.

Okay. Don't be fucking no dude because it's June in New York City. You don't have air conditioning in your shitty apartment you share with seven other roommates. Go home, okay? Go home. Do not fuck a dude just because he got AC. Fuck him because you love him.

Fuck him because you got, you know, something to build with him. Fuck him because you might think that he's a great fuck, but not for air conditioning. Or fuck a guy who will buy you an air conditioner. You're a piece of shit for all the single guys trying to get some pussy out here, yo. Yeah. You don't want no girl who's fucking for air conditioning, bro. Depends. Single mother, yeah. What you

mean? Dub's in fucking great AC right now. I'm gonna make the disco half for the day's electricity. Yeah. I done got chlamydia from a girl who needed air conditioning, bro. Okay. Now both of us need to get cool time. Bitch, there's a reason you're so hot because your pussy on fire, bitch.

Okay? Needs American edition for your pussy. Oh, man. It's summertime in New York. Motherfuckers are going to be fucking out here. It's going to be a wild ass summer. You can feel it in the streets. Yeah.

You can feel it in the streets. There could be some miserable motherfuckers. I don't know. It's just there's an energy, man. Sexual tension. Nah, everything's been, we've been held pent up for a year. You think this is going to help incels?

Is it going to be easier for them to fuck? I don't know that. Man, shoot shit up. Both of them. I think they still got it. The hardest thing for them is leaving the house. The hardest thing for them is the social anxiety. And I think that it's actually going to make,

I think this year was the easiest for them. Because it was their comfort zone. Everybody was home. I think it's actually going to make them even worse because they're going to see everybody out having the greatest time and they are going to still

be in their parents' basement. I think it's going to be incel season as well. It's going to be the roaring 20s but it's also going to be some wild fucking shit. No, it's going to be some fucked up.

It's going to be both, yeah. We're seeing it already. Yeah. You see this shit in Miami? In Miami? No, what happened? What happened? Oh, yo, as soon as we left

there's a mass shooting. What? That was weird. I didn't understand what happened. Where? All the details aren't out necessarily. But, like, basically, the way I understand, I can look up where it was. But, basically, there's, like.

There was two this week. There was, like, a rap concert. It was, like, a hip-hop night at, like, a club. Okay. And then people got there. Okay. They got out of, like, just a regular car, like, three guys. And they just started indiscriminately shooting into, like, a crowd of people waiting to get in.

So, that was definitely, from the looks of it is probably like a hit They wasn't gang gang going for one person But it just so happened there was a line outside of people trying to get in so what kind of lazy shit is that? 20 people got hit go inside two people died And it's like it's harder to get in with your guns you can't get in with your guns Yeah, and it's like, it's harder to get in with your gun. So you can't get in with your guns. Oh, yeah, you got to hit him before he gets in. You can't sit in the car until they come out?

I mean, you try to get in. Y'all invented the drive-by shooting. It's not a drive-by mass shooting. That's some white people shit. You guys are getting very white. You guys are appropriating. You know about what I'm saying? You guys are appropriating.

You didn't even drive. You parked the car and got out. It's the angst. Everybody wants to get back out. They couldn't even wait. Yeah, man. Oh. That's a white privilege way to kill.

That is a white privilege way to kill, Al. And then even at that mall- Wait, they called it a mass shooting? Yeah. That's the first time they called some black people doing shit at a mass shooting. Interesting. Yeah, I know.

I actually don't know if they were black or not. Nah, but there was a shooting at the mall, the Aventura Mall, shit like that. We were on our way there. What? I thought there was a shooting that shut down. That one I'm cool with. Because that one's like- Yeah. My friends would do that? There was a shooting It was shut down That one I'm cool with Like that Cause that one's like

There was a dispute My friends would do that It was a dispute Nah that wasn't as bad Like three people got injured I think But it was like They were all having a dispute

With each other About what? And then We don't know But I'm literally on my way there And then a guy's on an elevator With me dressed up mad sharp I'm like yeah buddy looking sharp

He's like oh appreciate it You're getting married today And I'm like oh that's dope Congrats He goes yeah man They shut down the venue I'm like what? What buddy, looking sharp. He's like, oh, appreciate it. You're getting married today. And I'm like, oh, that's dope. Congrats. He goes, yeah, man, they shut down the venue. I'm like, what? What? They shut down the fucking venue? What's going on? And then he's like, they had a mass shooting at Aventura Mall.

We're near there. They shut down everything. I'm on my way to get married. He got married in the mall? Near the mall. Fucking Kanye lyric, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, you can't do that. Lesson learned, man. Yeah, that's crazy, man. Wow. You really are southern though Just out here giving

Random dudes compliments And shit like that That's some southern shit Yeah we are nice people My man was dressed sharp Yeah But I will say this though That happened in Florida

And Florida's been open Yeah So it's not like It's a reaction to things Just opening up Oh no no It's gonna happen As soon as it opens anywhere

And you can't stay shut down forever Yeah This shit gonna happen though Yeah that's It's gonna be a couple of weeks. We're gonna get numb to it. Yeah, fuck, we are numb to it. That's the crazy thing, man.

I mean, it's just so fucking crazy how numb we are to everything. The UFO shit, everybody coming out. I think we were talking about this. I don't know if it was on the pod or maybe it was off the pod. We were just talking about it. Idiots. Oh, it was on idiots. Yeah, it's like, we're so fucking numb.

Everybody's coming out. They got all these politicians. They even selling Obama. Obama, please tell motherfuckers there's aliens. Just go out there. And we don't care. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I got to tell you about Mack Weldon.

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That's M-A-C-K-W-E-L-D-O-N.com. And then you do a slash And then flagrant You enter the promo code flagrant You get that 20% off Now let's get back to the show We don't care if there's aliens We don't care that they basically just admitted

That the security guards for Epstein Oh, I didn't know that Oh, the security guards for Epstein Were basically convicted Of not checking on Epstein The night that he got killed. We all knew they weren't. And then they got community service for it.

Because they were willing to work on the investigation. Yeah, we'll work on the case. Yeah, sure, you're going to work on the investigation. You're being investigated by the motherfuckers that know exactly what happened. Yeah. Come on, bro. But how crazy is that? This happened.

We have them basically admitting, going, yeah, we fucked up. Well, now we fucked up. But yeah, we didn't check on him the night that he uh committed to his life yeah yeah and we don't care i think the deal is like what would have been i'm sorry i think the deal with them is like they were basically like yo shut your mouth don't say anything about it don't do a book don't do a movie because i think a lot of people have been trying to get them and be like yo explain what happened so i think the deal is yo, we'll give you a lesser sentence. Just shut your mouth. That's what I'm assuming. What would have been the charges?

The charges were negligence for their job. Because essentially they were just there watching TV. And there's a chance that this is what they did. Like they didn't actually go check on the sale every half hour. Trust me, that's how it happens in the correctional. But if it's Epstein, you know. You gotta check on this fucking thing. And if someone's on suicide watch, maybe. They's how it happens in the correctional. Right. So. Yeah. But if it's Epstein. You know. You got to check on this fucking thing.

And if someone's on suicide watch. Maybe. Don't give a fuck about this thing. So this is what. You think they were editing a podcast? So this is interesting. Because Al's got perspective on this. Because Al used to do this.

Not corrections. But you were close. Right. And where he was being held. Used to work. Yeah. Right. Used to work at the tombs.

Yeah. We called the tombs. What's it called? I mean. I think New York is still referred to as a tomb but uh manhattan correctional facility okay so that's where he's being held and so it is common that that officers or corrections officer or the whatever the security guards there won't do the rounds because you're like they're locked up what the fuck is really gonna happen yada y. Or you do it a few times a night. Now, that being said, it feeds the conspiracy

if we all believe they didn't do it on purpose. And we kind of all want to believe the conspiracy because it's so fucking absurd. And at this point, you got to believe something. Some part of this conspiracy is right. It might not be all of it, but some part, if you deny every single part of it, you're a fuckface. Yeah, the official story is wrong. We just don't know which conspiracy is right. It might not be all of it, but some part, if you deny every single part of it, you're a fuckface.

Yeah, the official story is wrong. We just don't know which thing is wrong. Exactly. So now every new bit of information that comes out feels like it further confirms the conspiracy. Oh, these two officers were in on it. They knew that this was happening the whole time, and that's why they neglected to check

when the average corrections officer is like, man, we don't ever be checking on these motherfuckers, especially if it's at night. We're watching something on Netflix. Fuck these guys. So it's tricky, man. Or what if now they know we don't care, so they're just like, let out everything that people have been dying to know. They're not going to give a fuck. Maybe that's it.

Because we're all so ready to get out. Aliens are here, and we're like, hey, whatever. They're outside. Their places are open. Let's go eat. We don't care about aliens. We don't care about the Epstein shit. What the fuck do we care about? We care about getting back outside and seeing people. We just want to party. You're right. Now is the time to tell us whatever they fucking need. Tell us

what happened to JFK. Yo, tell us about the, Eddie, what else is there? I saw, I think there was a former FBI agent says they know the person who shot Biggie. Tell us that shit. RIP? They know the person who shot Biggie. Tell us that shit. Behind you, but yeah.

R.I.P.? But like, tell us that shit. They know the person, but they won't release the name because it's something in conjunction with the LAPD and they got to shut up, yeah. All right, well, boom. Tell us about Biggie. Tell us about Tupac.

Tell us about Moonland. Tell us about all the shit. It's lit. We don't care. We just want to be outside. We want to be having fun. Get it all out right now. We'll care about it later. This is annoying me. He always annoys me, but King Dork,

Neil deGrasse Tyson was on Rogan. And Rogan put him in his place, bro. That shit was so fucking beautiful. What'd he say? Because they would start talking about UFOs and you know King Dork is a bah humbug about everything. He got like rain on everybody's parade. That's his fucking bit. It's just his bit. I know. It's so fucking annoying. And he goes, he says, is here's my issue with uf he's so dismissive of

everything that he doesn't agree with those like it's preposterous so you don't even bring it up to him because here's my thing with the ufos it's like why would an advanced alien species be interesting about us what is so interesting about us it's arrogant to even think that they would even care what we have going on here and joe goes sorry go go go go we got people to study ants bro like literally we go to the fucking forest we look at bugs we go look at this bug and it does nothing we were like we invented a new bug yes jellyfish we study we study trees we study leaves we go lazy justification to say i don't necessarily believe it it's just so lazy And to condescend and make you feel bad about yourself What makes you think you're so important

It's so patronizing and so arrogant to assume That if something is of no interest to you Then it should be of no interest to anyone Why do you care about stars, motherfuckers? You study stars Dork Little specks in the sky Can't do nothing, never gonna be

Matter of fact, the shit you're studying ain't even around no more. It's gone by the time it reaches us. Stupid. You studied some shit that don't even exist. Like UFOs, you fucking idiot. I'm so annoyed by this guy. But Joe basically said to me, he's like, why would they not be interested? We can nuke the world a thousand times over.

We have tiny disputes that end up in massive fights, wars. We have fucking Holocaust. How do they do that to Elliot Page? I would travel to see that. We have Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones. We create these movies, stories. There's so many things that are so unbelievably fascinating.

Humans are lit. We're so lit. We're so fascinating. At any point in time, we can press one button and then there's no more of any of us on the world anymore. And we don't. And he does this long spiel, and I was like, yes, put that motherfucking dork in his place. We're the most interesting, just Neil deGrasse Tyson is boring as fuck, and he's confusing himself with us.

And to your point about how we study boring shit, we're interested in what Neil deGrasse Tyson got to say. You don't think aliens would be interested in what human beings got to say? People listen to you, bro. You robot. You got to say some shit don't think aliens be interested in what human beings got to say? People listen to you. You robot. You got to say some shit and we're like, oh, that's interesting. So true, man. It just made me feel so good

for Rogan. Because that's also like if you're going to talk about some science shit, nobody's fucking with a scientist. Neil deGrasse Tyson is an actual scientist. But the second they got in that UFO thing, now you in Rogan's wheelhouse Yeah Right

Now you in the unprovable If you wanna go into the provable shit That's you But the unprovable Buckle up boy Well it's been proven they exist Well it's UFOs But we don't know if it's aliens

Right Yeah But we don't know what the fuck it was Why do you think we just don't care You really think we just wanna go outside Isn't it also equally arrogant To say this entire universe exists Just for us

That's some white people shit like you think this whole space exists and it's just ours we just get to send rockets wherever the fuck we want to and that's our land i don't i don't think he but it's kind of a good point we put an american flag on the moon bro it's mad arrogant yeah that's we can just go to Mars, send a rover to Mars. Why? We own the moon, bro. That's kind of lit, though. We got there first. But that's arrogant. Don't talk about arrogance when that's equally as arrogant.

I think that their feeling is, I think Musk subscribes to this as well, is we don't have any proof that they've come here. But that doesn't mean that they don't exist. And the probability is that they do exist because there's just so many outcomes. That's fair. But we don't have any real proof that they've been here. But that doesn't mean that they don't exist. And the probability is that they do exist because there's just so many outcomes. But we don't have any real proof that they've been here. And even with the UFO footage, this shit is always mad grainy.

Everyone's got an iPhone now. How the fuck? Footage back in the 90s is like, oh, I get it. Now you gotta zoom. I should get grainy. That makes sense. When you're doing a lot of this, they're doing a lot of this on their phone. You know what I mean? You got a zoom you should get grainy I guess but When you do a lot of this they doing a lot of this on their phone, I mean I've seen world Don't zoom then let me get the shit just regular but then it just look like a little spot, okay

Well, no, but I mean it makes sense for the video to be grainy like if the fucking shits are in the atmosphere It's not like you they're flying on the same distance where planes are and shit like that. So it's going to be grainy. Here to here, you get a clear ass picture. Thousand, ten thousand, however many feet away. You ain't get no clear picture. You got to zoom. Yeah.

You're broke as fuck if your video is grainy, bro. Got a iPhone 10. Yeah. Get to 12. I don't know. Step it up. Y'all got to step it up. Yeah. You got one camera. You got one camera. Yeah. Get to 12. I don't know what to do. Step it up. Y'all got to step it up. Yeah. You got one camera.

You got one camera. Yeah. Get rid of the grain, bro. Like, that should be what they do. So you don't think it's UFO because it's grainy? I don't think it's UFO. I think it's our shit, and I think that we're just trying to posture. Like, I think we made these things, and this is us to other countries going, we don't know

what it is. But other countries are like, well, we know it ain't us. Do these motherfuckers got some crazy flying shit? All right, let me not fuck with that. That's fine. That's what I what it is but other countries are like well we know it ain't us do these motherfuckers got some crazy flying shit all right let me not fuck with that that's what that's what i think it is and then china's just like ha ha ha the game is we buy things now it's not who got the fancy planes fam the game is we buy things yeah whoever buys the most shit wins so print some more money motherfuckers like let's start buying bro i don't know what else what else we got going man couple more um okay so this one was interesting the people especially people on the right got fired up are you about to do what i think you're about to do fauci oh no what's that but the

fauci shit how that be about to toss him why oh matter of fact a couple things are happening right now the The Wuhan lab leak Oh yeah Is gonna be the story Over the next couple weeks I think Your boy Fauci Was testifying in front of Congress

And About his role in it But He always said There's no way that this is a lab leak at all This is It was caused by a bat And these COVID viruses come from bats Right And I don't know about all this shit uh it was caused by a bat and these covid viruses come from bats right and i

don't know about all this shit but in the next couple weeks we should probably have an expert come on and explain it to you guys you know someone who really knows the ins and outs of all these situations i mean it's definitely not true and we're not saying it's factual but they might have some interesting things to say. That's all I'll say about that. But this is going to be the big story, because it looks like the Biden administration is throwing Fauci under the bus. They got him on the hot seat, and he was the darling of the Democrats before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if it comes out, because what happened was there were a few people who worked at the Wuhan lab, and they got sick in November and had to be hospitalized right and then china of course covering that shit up yep right but if it does turn out that this shit came from a lab in china and wuhan specifically i need my apology yo i need my apology from all the bloggers that called me racist for calling that shit the chinese flu the wuhanic plague who said i was racist for putting out a thing blaming china for the virus if the shit literally comes from government-funded labs in china and they let it leak which was not what we were doing we were just being hyperbolic we were joking around joke it was absolute

fucking joke but you called me racist but if we end up being right in our joke i need an official apology oh because you took our joke serious yeah so now if the serious thing is accurate i'm gonna need the apology and i'm gonna need to be just as loud as the criticism yo do we not need apology for that we lost a sponsor over that bitch ass motherfucking sponsor i'm gonna need i'm gonna need apology from them and lost wages yo i'm gonna I'm going to need lost wages, yo, before I sue. I'm going to sue. I'm going to sue for, I'm going to sue, what is that shit called? Slander?

Libel. Yeah, some shit. Libel, slander, defamation. Yo, hit him. Hit him with it. I'm suing, bro. Let's get it going. I'm suing.

Let's get the lawsuit machine going. Here I was just thinking I was trying to be racist. Turns out I'm right. It turns out I'm suing. Let's get the lawsuit machine going. Here I was just thinking I was trying to be racist. Turns out I'm right. It turns out I'm right. Every time. Every time I'm trying to be racist, turns out I'm right. Just look at the numbers. You know, statistics.

It's just raw numbers. I took my wallet and I put it in the other pocket. And it turns out he was trying to steal my wallet. I was right guys it's called a hunch but we'll have someone here to describe uh what they think is really going on but if that's true why is economic sanctions on china so fucking crazy because we pussy bro that's the thing i don't understand it we pussy i don't get it and everybody doesn't even acknowledge as a possible you don't got to go to war with them but if they're thriving from a pandemic that leaked

from one of their labs i'm not saying fuck you or whatever i mean i'm saying it but you can just be like yo we just can't fuck with you for a while you gotta have some kind of punishment for that because that caused a global pandemic can we be honest yo then they're gonna throw sanctions back on us yeah there's no way any sanctions of ours can affect how much they consume of ours. So you make some type of government sanction and they'll cancel Hollywood. Here's the thing we need to do. Here's the thing we need to do.

And this is what we should have been doing. Hollywood canceled, dog. Motherfucker's going broke. In the same way we sanction, what we should do is we should build up... First of all, we got to get rid of democracy in India. They're working on it. They're working on it. Don't worry. Good, we got to get rid of democracy in India. They're working on it.

They're working on it. Don't worry. Good. They should get rid of democracy because it can't get to where we need it to be. Fast enough. Fast enough. Because if you had a dictator, if you had like a Singaporean type system, and I understand it's very different.

Singapore is barely a fucking city. It's so tiny. And you're talking about one of the largest countries in the world in terms of population. I think it's number one. Number one. Okay. So it's much different. I'm not saying it's so tiny and you're talking about one of the largest countries in the world in terms of population right number one number one okay so it's much different i'm not saying it's possible but the democratic process the one of the good things about it is it grinds slowly right and the bad thing about it is because it grinds fucking slowly so if you had a dictator that could just organize some shit in india so that we could put all those jobs over there we could start building these factories we start executing things that we could put all those jobs over there. We could start building these factories. We start executing things that we need to execute in a timely manner.

Then we take away some of the power of China. Would you do the honor? I will. I will be the dictator of India. I'm in it. I'm in. Let's go. I will be the dictator of India. What position does Akash have? Akash is in my cabinet. And what am I? You're also in my cabinet.

Alex? Team China, china sorry he's probably gonna turn down alex at the chinese pool party wow he couldn't make it oh sorry couldn't make it to the cabinet they celebrate and wins all right so now that we're leading india what do we do um well there's a couple things that we have to do right we have to we have to stop the rapes. Yeah. No, no, no. First they gotta stop is the shit spreading on themselves. Yeah, that's a good point. Well, that's what the women were doing to stop the rapes. I know, I know.

What do you think the theory is? You thought that they were doing that for fun, bro? So why the dudes? They're trying to get these guys that- What about the dudes who are doing it? What, what? The guys that are- They be raping guys out there too, bro.

Anybody could get it. Oh, progressive. Yo, friction is friction today they like they're doing anal anyways anyways bro make the snake rise bro that's all they care about bust out the flute it's time to get kid yeah but yeah so we need to we need to start that number one what about the farmers are you gonna settle that we gotta settle the farmers yeah that's really gotta do that settle it yeah i mean i think i have a great solution to settle in we're gonna go settle on their land we're calm down calm down everybody chill out um no no but we

have to settle up we have to settle with the farmers right and um let them farm bro let them farm let them honestly i want them to farm we're Let them farm. Let them farm. Honestly, I want them to farm. We're going to switch the things that they farm. Yeah. Switch to corn. We got to say again? Tech?

No. Farming? Crypto? Not crypto. Oh, that's mining. That's mining. We're not going to let them mine. Yeah.

But we have to let them farm things that we think would be useful. Yeah. Things that we can use. Correct. They need to make fleshlights. You give every guy a fleshlight. I got one step better. Attach a fleshlight to cattle.

That's everything they love. Dude, you have a cow. They love cows. You're not touching the cow. You're touching the fleshlight. If you love cows, why can't you make them feel good? Yeah. That's a real rapist logic right there. You're not touching the cow You're touching the flashlight Why can't If you love cows Why can't you make them feel good Yeah How do you know That's a real rapist logic

If you love women Why can't you make them feel good That's what I'm saying You ask the cow for consent You're the ultimate lover as well The karma suit You got cow in the The karma suit

Karma sutra bro The karma sutra's interesting But I don't think They would touch the cow Even if it had a flashlight They can't disrespect the cow They can rape a woman But they can't rape a cow

These bitches gotta start Dressing up as cows bro literally give women cow costumes we just solved the rape done give women cow i like that solution cow costumes for all the women farmers okay do you do we want the farmers to stop farming or what do we want let them farm baby no no what is the goal how do we help them do they want to not farm they want to farm they want to farm and then what's the issue uh tax or something like that i already forgot wow this is your king this is your king i already forgot this is your king right here india this is your king right here. I'm over here in America, dog. I got privilege. You put on your story every day for a month.

Y'all understand why I get so upset about crypto when he be talking shit because I know he knows nothing. He knows nothing. I got a hunch about these farmers. They haunted something, yo. He's like, I think they farmed. He invested five grand into them. That is wild.

No, five grand for COVID. I do not know what the fuck is COVID. This is why you be pissing me off. You're out of the cabinet, bro. You're out. You can't. You can't leave India. You might be out of the cabinet now, dog.

Son, that is wild, son. They want their minimum support pricing back. I remembered. That's what it is. He just dubbed it. Pressure makes diamonds, bro. Pressure makes diamonds I was like yeah damn How are we back at farmers

Can we move on to COVID killing everybody I gotta give a fuck about farmers again Shit Give the guys their farming prices Give them their MSP that's it Give them corn If they farm corn That's it. Give them corn. Okay. Okay.

If they farm corn, that solves it. If they farm corn. Yeah. Okay, let's give them some corn. Let's give them corn. Can we give them corn? That's what happened in America. They just all farm corn and everybody's good now.

Just put corn in everything. Yeah. Corn syrup. Corn syrup. Ethanol. Ethanol. Corn syrup. They also have grits. On the cob.

On the cob. On the cob. On the cob is litty. Cream of. That's also dope. Uh-huh. Canned. Maybe we'll do a lot with corn. Start making.

Tortilla chips. Native Americans got to give us a little bit of respect for what we did to corn. Fritters. Oh, they got pitas. No, that's not corn. What's the other one? Tacos. Mexican's got the tacos.

Tacos. Eight corns are lit. Yeah. Yeah. That's the type of corn. Indians's the other one? Tacos. Mexican's got the tacos. Tacos. Eight corns are lit? Yeah. That's the type of corn. Indians were messing with little tiny corns. What's the bread that you break to eat the food? Naan. Yeah.

Switch that to corn. Switch that to corn. Also, corn is way healthier for your diet. It is. You don't eat corn. I'm not healthy. But I also don't eat naan. That's one of your big-

No, I eat a little bit of corn. If I have to eat corn, I will. But I try to't eat none That's one of your big No I eat a little bit of corn If I have to eat corn I will But I try to not eat corn Because that shit is horrible for you Don't let them do corn You do eat corn No I don't

Whenever we get Mexican food You're like If I don't do flour I do corn I do corn over flour Why is corn bad for you? People keep telling me this I don't get it

It's been too chemically engineered Yeah I saw this documentary Your body doesn't even absorb it You ever eat corn? Yeah, shit it right out Yeah, it's just plastic I had corn this weekend

It's plastic food It's not real It is There's no nutrition It's kind of fun to see your digestive cycle though Yeah I'll sometimes throw some corn in there Just to know when I'm through

Like how long it takes you to poop Yeah, exactly I do that shit too Yeah, just kind of know Like where am I at Oh, two days How did we even get into this? Because we're dictating.

No, before that. We're the dictators of India. China. In order to take over China. Oh, the Fauci shit. Oh, yeah. So then I think that we got to get our money over there to India, bro. I'm talking that, man.

Like Europe. Europe. How many Indians we got in Europe? How many Indians we got in America? Like we love Indians. We fucks with Indians, bro. That's true. You know what I mean?

There's never been a stop Indian hate ever. Even when we did hate y'all, we didn't even mean to. Yeah, it was on accident. We got it wrong. We were too stupid. The miscommunication. It was just a miscommunication. Complete miscommunication.

Yeah. It's true. So we love Indians, bro. Good point. We're lovable. Y'all are the most lovable. We are. No matter where they go, people love them, bro.

Think about that. That's also what we're doing. We're not saying that about Pakistanis, bro. We're absorbing Pakistan. We're taking Pakistan back. We're giving Pakistan back to India, son. We don't recognize Pakistan as a country. It's not a country anymore.

Pakistan? Way better when it was India. If I'm being honest. Y'all fell off, bro. If I'm being honest. Vala just called the lab cop, son. Yo, y'all fell off, bro. Y'all fell off. Just take them back, call them Indians. Yo, I think we got to take it back.

I don't recognize them. That's what I'm saying, bro. We're Taiwaning them. Where's John Cena when you need him? He's going to be up there. Dibble dabble, dibble. Dibble dabble, dibble, dibble. Pakistan.

Dibble dabble, Hindustan. Dibble dabble, dibble, dabble. Dibble dabble, dibble, dabble. Diban. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan.

Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan.

Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan.

Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan.

Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan.

Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan.

Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan.

Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan.

Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. All right. This one was interesting. Oh, I got one. I got last one. Last one, you fuck boys. Bunch of fucking Elliot pages. Is this rhetorical when you ask for it?

No, no, no. It gives me enough time to remember. You seen Jeff Bezos get bailed out with a little punk ass? No. So Jeff Bezos about to get bailed out. It hasn't been confirmed yet by the Senate. Where do you get these stories from? Son, this shit is big, bro.

So Jeff Bezos about to get a $10 billion bailout for his failed trip to the moon agency. Nah, fuck that, yo. Eat that. I say fuck that too. Eat that, bro. Eat that. You lost. People start businesses every day that fail.

Keep going, bro. Keep going. You know how many restaurants shut down during COVID? Do I need to set it up or everybody knows what I'm talking about I have no idea but I'm in

okay so I don't need to know Blue Horizon I have a hunch I have a hunch about this you don't know strongly about this I know he got this one

I know he got this one nah bro you don't get no fucking bailout so check this so Blue Horizon was Jeff Bezos' SpaceX right

and they were both fighting for a government contract for about $10 billion, which is like the new fucking like a frontier bill or whatever. Endless Frontier Act. Endless Frontier Act or whatever. It was basically like, yo, here's some money, smart motherfuckers, and make some shit, and hopefully we can use it. Boom. SpaceX won because their bid for the contract was like way less.

I believe you can look it up just to make sure, but I believe it was way less. Bezos' company fails. Failed. They spent $635,000 lobbying Congress to let them do it. There was one fucking contract out, and now they're proposing another bill to let there be two contracts so that he doesn't have to lose out on that 10 billy for Blue Horizon. Now, there's two ways to look at it.

One is you lost fam. Now keep going. Wait, wait one second. One second. How did he lose 10 billion? He just lost the contract. He lost out on the contract,

but he never spent that money yet. Uh, no, but I think he spent a certain amount of money on blue horizon and building that up to get to the point where they could go, we could do it for this amount. So he put money up for Blue Horizon. He just didn't win the bid.

Okay, okay, okay. Right? So I can read my notes here if you want. All right. It's fine. No, no, we all just say Paisley. All right. Paisley's a space flight company.

You know, you could add these to the notes. Yeah, you're right. Blue Origin. Blue Origin. My bad. It's good. Blue Origin. Oh, my God, bro. You sound like Akash with the farmers. Bro, have a right. Blue Origin. Blue Origin. My bad. It's good. Blue Origin. Oh, my God, bro.

You sound like Akash with the farmers. Bruh, have a hunch in your life. Yeah, but I'm not from space. You know what I mean? If I was from space, I'd know some shit about it. Nah, bro. This shit gets tricky. You might be from space, bro.

I'll be completely honest. Yeah, I might be, dawgs. Whatever. You and Elon. Basically, who gives a fuck? It's Blue Origin. Anyway, isn't that fucked up that he gets bailed out? Yo, if your business failed, it failed.

Do y'all know what I'm talking about or not? I know enough. Nobody knows what you're talking about. You don't know what you're talking about. Nah, bro. I'm with you. I got a hunch, yo. All right, go.

I got a hunch. Yeah. Go. You lost, Bezos. You lost. He's not getting bailed hunch, yo. I got a hunch. You lost, Bezos. He's not getting bailed out, though. Yeah, he is. They just making a second one. He hit you with a little one. That shit was like a finger roll.

That was a finger roll. Put some English on that shit. I just went. I just. It was super slick. It was a finger-holding. Put some English on that shit. I just went... It was super slick. It was a little... You didn't even notice it. If you didn't catch it, you didn't see it. And that one hurt my testicle the most, bro.

My testicles are not ready for that little slappy-tappy. Okay, go. I can't stare at this sandwich no more. That shit looks so delicious. My stomach is grumbling. Oh, so you want to see my kicks? No! No, no, no, no, no, no.

Go, go, go. Look, every... I got lost. I was going to say the kick was going to throw up. Oh, my God. That shit looks so good. It's amazing. I want to fuck with an egg and a cheese meat.

All right. It's right in front of me, son. You're looking too nasty. Go, go. Yo, I understand if you need to bail out. Like, we have bankruptcy laws in America to encourage capitalism. But if we're not bailing out every fucking restaurant that failed, you know how many businesses you could bail out for $10 billion? And we're all about small business in America, right?

So instead of bailing them out, letting their restaurants, whatever stores crumble during corona, economy crumbling during corona, unemployment all time high, You bail out the richest human being in the world, maybe second now. He gets $10 billion? I don't give a fuck. Yo, if Pepsi fails and they have fucking Crystal Pepsi, they're not like, oh, hey, here's money for Crystal Pepsi. Nah, you're still good. You're good. And I can also even understand a bank is too big to fail.

I can understand an airline is too big to fail because if those go away, we're all fucked. But a space company ain't too big to bail. Blue Origin, we don't give a fuck. We're fine without it. We didn't know it existed until this moment. Okay, Al got a different argument. Because if we don't bail him out, then he's going to pay us back by being like, oh, yeah, you thought your packages couldn't come in two days?

Fuck it, three days now. And I'm not good at that. I'm not good with that. Paulie's mother's right here, so you can't be saying Paki's right here. What'd you say, dog? Yeah. He said pack what? The Paki.

But, um... It's gonna come in... He's respectful. Is that you, Wild Boy? It's pronounced India. India. What don't you get about this? My bad.

We're taking it back, son. My bad, India. For the farmers, bro. For the farmers. You mean my land, you know what I mean? That's what they said. The whole thing is about this. We're taking it back, son. For the farmers, bro. For the farmers. That's what they said. The whole thing is about land. That's what the farmers are about. Okay, go.

So you think you're not going to give us our packages? Yeah. He'll take it out on us. Motherfucker spent $8.5 billion on MGM. $8.5. You know MGM? Yeah. The movie studio or whatever?

Yeah. He said that. $8.5. It's aGM the movie studio 8.5 Dramatic He said they gave me a look to like yeah 5 what do you even know by 8.5 your truck doesn't even close When he calls you a nerd. You just get pissed off.

You are a nerd, though. How do you know about 8.5? Oh, I was looking at Elon Musk's numbers. Fucking dork. Oh, I'm looking at space travel. Fucking nerd. You're a gay nerd. Oh, my God.

He's like, hold up. Let me check my notes. Oh, I was watching the Jetsons and technically it's not possible for Blue Origin to work. So you saw him run out of information on the Jetsons because you know he never seen that show in his fucking life.

I have seen it. The Jetsons joined in. I'm going to see it in two years because we got self-flying cars already coming. Am I right? Let's go. Don't let him do it. Don't let him do it. That's an alliance.

That's an alliance. You know it. You know it. Justin, I'd be real like you. All right. One more topic because I got to eat something. I'm starving. I'm dying, yo.

I'm dying. Go. Go. Say the topic you've been dying to fucking say, you fucking dork. Don't hit the same. Chill out. That's my shit. That's my shit, too.

That hurt him for real. That hurt him for real. That's too far. We're editing that. We're editing that. We're editing that. Go. That was too far, man.

Go, you fucking nerd. I hate you. I hate you. Oh, you want a topic? You fucking dork. You want a topic? You want the next one, huh? I hate y'all, bro.

I hate y'all so much. All right, y'all go next time. We back, baby. New York. I'm about to go eat right now. Yo, I'm dying. Yo, if China wanted to buy his podcast, would you sell it to him? Hell yeah.

Nah, nah, nah, nah. Come on. What's second bidder? India. Yeah. Yeah. How much,

no, how much less is a second bidder offering? Nah, we're not selling bro. To China? Fuck China bro. 500 million. They offering 500 million.

They offering 500 million. China says 500500 million? Yeah For the podcast Nah Come on now I'm speaking Mandarin I'm eating Mandarin

It's like eating Mandarin You gotta go on a Panda Express Alright, let's go Or we talk about Mayor Lori Lightfoot Only giving interviews to non-white journalists Ooh, did you see this? Yeah, I saw this That's fire

But it wasn't like What did she say there was like a two uh thing minimum or something like that yeah it was basically like one-on-one interviews yeah specifically in like this period of time she's only doing white and there was only two there was only two that she was gonna give out yeah like the headline is far crazier yeah than what the actual story. But it's the perfect headline to get, especially conservative Twitter and conservative YouTube, absolutely furious. Because it's preposterous what she's saying. She's only giving out interviews for people of color.

It's the exact fear of all these white people who are going, they're taking away our lifestyle. They're taking away our culture. It's illegal to be white in America. What the fuck is going on here? But what is the whole context? Were the interviews about a specific topic that had to do with people of color not necessarily so like something like crying i mean just look at the numbers you know no but it's basically like looking at her two-year mayoral anniversaries coming up and so some people

are just like oh she's like kind of politicking because these one-on-one interviews that she's about to do with these people she wants them to be generally positive. And so if she's able to get people interviews based off of some sort of special privilege, they might be more lenient with her. So she's not even doing this to be woke. She's doing it to protect herself. There's one thing that I caught in the article Mark linked, which made it seem like performative wokeness. Because they interviewed journalists of multiple races.

And they said, other journalists. Y'all gonna let him read his notes and he don't get made fun of? We agreed with. Y'all gonna let him read his notes and he don't get made fun of? He is a dork.

Who is this guy? This isn't fair. How come I get made fun of? And all that's done? This isn't fair. They're silencing white men. Only people of color can have notes, okay? Fucking cuck.

Only comedians of color. I just got fully cucked, bro. First episode back, they're going to cuck me, dude. Akash is a cock, bro. Comedian of color. That's true. I'm a cock, bro. I'm a little cock.

Okay. I'm a little cock. I'm a little cock. Okay, keep going. They said multiple journalists of color who spoke to the Post said that when they tried to question Lightfoot on her administration on issues like police violence, public schools, and housing, they've been met back with silence or dismissal. So when we want to ask you about some real shit that affects the communities of color, you don't give us anything. You push back. You silence us.

You dismiss us. And now you're doing this gesture of, oh, I'm only letting journalists of color interview me. It seems like performative wokeness. It's definitely performative. She could have just done it and not said nothing. True. That's what's weird. It's like most people.

Yeah. That's what white people do. That's why they get shit done. Yeah. So I think the story broke because I think a white chick hit her up and was like, yo, can we do an interview? And she said, her office was like, sorry, we're only doing interviews with. She's like, nah, you're black.

Or no, you're not black. Yeah. And then I think she. I mean, what a dumb thing to do. She broke the story, I think. Yeah. I mean, what a dumb thing to do. She broke the story, I think. Yeah. I mean, I understand, like, it's smart if she wants to protect herself.

She's like, nah, a black person's not going to throw me under the bus. Especially if I'm doing this performative thing. It's like, yo, on the strength, like. Candace Owens need to pull up. I would like to do the interview. Candace need to pull up and say she wants to do the interview, bro. That'd be fun. That would be 100% because what you going to say?

Then it's going to expose what it really is, right? Which is, I just want you to give me softball questions in this interview so I look good. Which I understand

from a politician's perspective. Yeah, it's like, why are we acting like politics ain't exactly that? It's performative bullshit. It's performative bullshit. They just normally mask it better.

Because like, Trump was one of the first ones that was like, yo, I'm only doing interviews with people that fuck with me. Yeah. And people killed him for it because they're like, yo, I'm only doing interviews with people that fuck with me. And people killed him for it because they were like, yo, pretend. But he would say that, but then the most lit ones were the ones where he was just in front of

the wolves and they were coming after him and he was clapping back. The worst thing he did is not let them clap at him because that was entertaining and that shit was so fire, bro. He would always win if I'm out. Just shut him down, it's over. That's the dope thing about interviews. You can be like, I'm out. Yeah.

And like, it's not like they can be like, well, what do you have to do? It's like, motherfucker, I'm president. Why am I even talking to y'all? Like, I got a president. Yeah, I guess politicians are all performative, but I hate seeing the politician in you. Like, then I know you're like, when I see how full of shit you are, I'm off board. Yeah. You got to at least try to convince me.

Barack is a politician, but that motherfucker comes across like a human being. And we love Barack for that. That's the art. Fucking nailing threes at an open gym and walking off. Didn't you like that about Trump that he was so not a politician? Yeah, because it didn't seem like the fraudulence. This guy is openly petulant and all that other shit.

Like, fights everybody, don't give a fuck. At least that's a... I'm not conned by that. I don't see an act. I see a person being himself. This bitch, it At least that's a, I'm not conned by that. I don't see an act. I see a person being himself. This bitch, it seems like she's acting. I'm out. Barack didn't seem like he was acting in a very different way than Trump, but I like that.

Yeah, but you guys just said politically, the way to do it is just by doing this without saying it. That would have been the political thing to do. Right now, she's being like, yo, I'm only speaking to black people. That's more real. But again, if I didn't see that little note that I read straight off my phone and it was completely okay that I did it, I wouldn't feel that way.

I'd be like, all right, whatever. I'd take questions from Indians all day. You know what I mean? Just don't ask me about the farmers. I'd be forgetting sometimes. Everything else, bet. Let's go. I don't like this like, oh, hey, I'm only interviewing black people.

But then when they ask you about real issues, I'm not talking to you about that. That shit bothers me. That bothers me. I see what he's saying. He's like, yo, you can ride for your people, but if you really ride for your people, you're going to answer those questions about the problems that people got.

That's what one of the journalists said. He's like, don't give us little interviews. Actually implement policy to help us. Bang. Do something. I hate performative wokeness. That shit kills me. A little Lori Lightfoot.

Yeah. Don't that sound like a nickname from around the way? You know what I mean? Yo, I got some fire head yesterday. From who? A little Lori Lightfoot. A little Lori Lightfoot. Tiptoe it over here.

You know what I mean? Floating on over here. Bless the kid. Is it crazy to talk about someone like that? No. I mean, we talk about people like that. We're not saying it's her. Yeah, we're saying a hypothetical person. It's not really Lori Lightfoot.

No, it's a hypothetical Lori Lightfoot. It's a Native American. Fast-ass young little Native American. Fast-ass little Native American girl. Yeah, with the baby fat. Yeah. Fast-ass girl, bro. That's worse.

What? Fuck. Native American. But she was a fast young girl, bro. Why can't you hook up with Native Americans? Yeah. What just happened, huh? Nah, I was just,

I thought it would be fucked up, but nah. They got names like that. Lightfoot. But I don't think we're allowed to call them by those names. I mean, they made up their names, dog. But I thought only people

from their tribe can call them that. Man, who gives a fuck? Yo, I hate when we do this shit like we didn't already kill them. Like, what is this other shit we're doing? Extra changing teammates. There's no we nothing. No we nothing.

It's y'all killed him. Y'all. The whites don't accept that shit. Bruh, they dead. Don't put that on you. You ain't killed no one. He's finished. He's finished.

I'm trying to help you out. I know, but you're doing this for you. Who gives a fuck who killed him? Yo, Al's getting red in the face right now. They dead. Whoever killed him. Hey, asshole's getting red in the face right now. They dead, bro. It's not good. Whoever killed him. Hey, Asshole Army, we love y'all.

We appreciate y'all. We're going to see you Friday for the Patreon episode. Patreon.com slash Flaker 2. You already know we do another episode every single week over there. Thank you so much for riding with us when we were in Florida. Thank you so much for building the podcast when we were in Florida. The growth was crazy. We got some fun stuff in store for you for the next

in the next few weeks. So yeah, we're excited to do that. And we're happy to be home, man. We're glad to be back and still excited, still thriving, still enjoying life. We're just grateful. Thank you all so much.

We'll see you in a few days. Peace.