Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Kanye Drops and Jake Paul Pops

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

Join Andrew, Akaash, Alexx, Mark and Dov as they discuss Kanye, Ronaldo, Nirvana, Andrew's Paris trip, Tony Hawk's new board and much much more. INDULGE! Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers ...unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up everybody? Welcome to Flager 2. It's your boy Schultz. I'm here with Aakash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, and the Truffle. We're back in New York. I'm back in America. How was your guys' weekend? It was good, man. How was Paris? Yeah, we didn't go to Paris, though. Why are you asking us? You were in Georgia, you were in Orlando, you were in the Keys. Y'all did cool shit.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Yeah, I tried. Domestic shit. I went to the Keys. Al forgot it was hurricane season. He was like, I think I'm going scuba diving this weekend. Went to the epicenter of fucking hurricanes to Florida to see if he could go scuba diving. Hey, sometimes you get lucky. You got rolling ducks sometimes.
Starting point is 00:00:41 I know Al fucked up because he was down at the Keys. He was posting something. And then I saw a little bit later he's at a Rogan show and I was like oh yeah it didn't go exactly I didn't go exactly as planned I know Al has a lot of love for Rogan especially everything he's done for us but I don't know if he's flying to Florida
Starting point is 00:00:56 to go to a Rogan show especially when Rogan's coming to Madison Square Garden so I hit him and I was like yo what's going on and then he's like yeah the scuba diving didn't really work this bitch Hurricane Ida fucking all my shit up bro i'm just glad it didn't hit the keys so that's good so like the weather was still good it was just it fucks up the water and then it makes it murky and it's no point you should be able to scuba dive though you're under the water like hurricanes above the water nah but for some reason the wind affects
Starting point is 00:01:22 the murkiness of the water and i don't want murkiness when I'm scuba diving. You're going down and you can't see shit. Yeah, some sharks. That's the most terrifying. It's one thing to see a shark from far, but imagine you just turn around and the shark comes right out of the murkiness. But you said you never scuba dive. Nah. I don't believe in it, really.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Nah. I don't believe in it. You need to. It's amazing. I know. I believe it's amazing. The experience is amazing. It's better than skydiving.
Starting point is 00:01:44 I believe it's amazing, but I don't believe in it. In what sense? Just being underwater longer than you're supposed to. That's not how God ordained us. Oh, no. No. You know what I'm saying? Especially, like, I could maybe do that shit, like, in the same way that you do snorkeling.
Starting point is 00:02:03 You know, like, where it's like, basically, I'll snorkel, but I could just pop up if I need same way that you do snorkeling. Basically, I'll snorkel, but I could just pop up if I need a bathtub. That's mad pussy. Oh, no, but let me just say this. You didn't scuba in a hurricane. That's pussy, bro. Let me say this, though. Let me say this, though. I don't believe in that scuba diving where you can't come up.
Starting point is 00:02:18 You got to chill for 30 minutes. Oh, yeah. The elevator. The bends or whatever. You got to get the fucking bends, they call it. That's deep. So you don yeah. The bends or whatever, you got to get the fucking bends, they call it. But no, but no. That's deep, man. So you don't have the bends, right? So if you go like 100 feet, you can't just go straight up if you need to.
Starting point is 00:02:30 You got to depressurize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Depressurize, yeah. That's terrifying, yo. Son, no! That's terrifying. You wouldn't even qualify to go that far down. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Like, you wouldn't. You're not there yet. You're not there. You got to work. You got to work your way up to that. You sound so white right now. Shut up. Go back to gym class. Get the fuck out of here, bro.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Get the fuck out of here, son. You gotta work your way up to that. You went to the fucking zoo, bro. That's the whitest shit. You went to the zoo? I went to the aquarium. Water zoo, whatever. Protected from the water.
Starting point is 00:03:06 That's basically scuba diving. It's the same shit, but I'm not. Hey, I can breathe. Andy, I'll tell my wife. Which one of us are black here? I'm going to swim and you just hiding from the water? Black people, they love the aquarium or what? They did in Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:03:21 They also love Atlanta, so I don't know. That's true. I don't know. There's true. I don't know. There's just something about being in the water and not being able to be in control of my destiny. I do not like that shit. I gotta just sit here for 30 minutes, hope I don't run out of fucking oxygen so I don't get a headache. Man, it's scary, bro. Bro, you think it's just
Starting point is 00:03:37 random amounts of air in there? Say what? You think it's just a random amount of air? I think it's a tank amount. Yeah, and then you look at your watch and go, oh, I got this amount. Yeah, but what if my watch is wrong? You know what I have? You know what I have? Those super-weighted ones. It's mad variables, dog. It's mad variables. It's so many variables. What happens is there's a little leak. I bumped into some coral. And then you just go up. You'll see bubbles.
Starting point is 00:03:55 You can't go up. Yeah, you can. You get the bends. What's going to happen to you? Your lungs explode. No, you breathe out on the way up. Your lungs explode. No, the bends is in your blood. I looked it up. The bends is in your blood. I looked it up. No, you just feel mad sick if you get the bends. You breathe out on the way lungs explode the Bends in your blood look it up. No you just feel mad sick if you know your lungs explode Do your lungs explode? No? I'm scuba certified. Are you really yeah? I'm open water certified come on 10 feet that's like like 10 feet. That's like 10, 12 feet. That's the pussy shit, right? Yo, that's 50. That's not deep diving. Old basketball hoop height certified.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Nobody care about that shit. A little 10 feet. A little 10 feet. No, open water is 50. They don't even give you flippers, son. Just use your feet. You're not even certified. So that's why this guy.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Yes, I am. Yes, I am. What certification? What certification? It's like Wiki or some shit like that. No, that's not even one. You know. It's only one fucking certified.
Starting point is 00:04:43 That's open water. And then the next is rescue diver. Come on. Yeah, I'm not deep. I don't go deep, Paul. You know. It's only one fucking certified. That's open water. And then the next is rescue diver. Come on. Yeah, I'm not deep. I don't go deep, Paul. You can go 50. You can go 50 feet down. What?
Starting point is 00:04:54 You could go 50 feet? With open water, yeah. Can I come up in a breath on that one or no? You got to breathe out. Yes. How am I supposed to breathe out if I need to have the air? Y'all trying to kill me. Y'all trying to kill me. This is your advice? This is your advice for me? You got to take it. Yes, yeah muscles to breathe out if I need to have You gotta take it but with that depth you don't have to pressurize on your way up like you do a little bit on your Ears, but not like for the rest of your body good
Starting point is 00:05:19 Yeah We were scuba diving, not scuba diving, snorkel diving, right? Snorkel diving! Don't call it diving. That's not diving. If the back of your head is getting sunburned, it's not diving. Hold your breath. Snorkel diving. The back of your head is getting sunburned, bro. If it's getting sunburned, it's not diving. I was snorkel diving.
Starting point is 00:05:35 I was snorkel diving. Snorkel floating. I was snorkel diving. That's like your motorcycle. I was snorkel diving. I took my electric bike to work, and I was snorkel diving. That's a Harley Davidson right there. What do we call it a pete davidson that's the best name for it so i was i was snorkeling diving and i went down to go touch the coral and maybe it was like 20
Starting point is 00:05:57 feet or some shit like that bro i couldn't my head was gonna explode just going down. I had to clear my ears like you're in the plane on the way down just to get that depth. Does it make sense? Yes, it does. Because especially that thing, it has your nose and your eyes, so you feel that pressure, and then you start to panic a little bit.
Starting point is 00:06:17 So now you just breathe in, and because you panic, you go... And so now you just made it tighter, and you feel like your head's about to explode. So how the fuck am I supposed to go to 50? It's way different. That don't sound fun, yo. It's way different when you have Made it tighter And you feel like Your head's about to explode So how the fuck Am I supposed to go to 50 It's way different That don't sound fun
Starting point is 00:06:25 It's way different When you have the fucking Tank on you Cause now it's just Constant air going in and out So you don't even feel The pressure on your eyes We're not supposed to go that deep
Starting point is 00:06:34 We're not supposed to go that deep How deep are we supposed to go How deep are we supposed to go As deep as you can go Until it hurts And then you're supposed to come up Then that's your body going Yerr
Starting point is 00:06:44 You're trespassing now This is too far One day we're gonna go And you're supposed to come up. That's your body going, you're trespassing now. This is too far. One day we're going to go and you're going to fucking love it. I'm not. You're going to love it so much you're going to want to go
Starting point is 00:06:52 all the time. I'm not. You're going to want to go to the Keys during hurricane season just to not scoop it up. I'm not. That's how much you're going to love it.
Starting point is 00:06:57 What am I going to see there? I can see it. It's so beautiful. I'm telling you. That shit's an aquarium but you in it. I've seen fish. Fishes are whack.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Fish are whack. You can find treasure? What about treasure? Now, the treasure thing is kind of lit. Maybe if there was some treasure attached. But now I'm doing that for financial gain. I'm not doing it just enjoying nature. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:16 I don't know. I think it's dangerous, and I don't think you should do it. I'm glad you didn't do it this weekend. Okay? I saved your life, bro. Nah, man. I missed out, son. I missed out, son. It sucked. Okay? I saved your life, bro. Nah, man. I missed out, son. It sucked.
Starting point is 00:07:29 I really did save your life, bro. Mark, we're going to go back down. Yeah, let's run it. Okay, Akash. And you? Nah, I'm never going back. The fact that he hasn't talked about Paris at all makes me suspicious. Hell yeah. Fuck you, Tripp. Let's talk about Paris. So what's up? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Starting point is 00:07:45 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's what I'm saying. Mark, I should have caught that. What if he asked about my parents? Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:08:10 So anyway. You guys did cool shit. You went to Georgia? You went to Atlanta? Yo, congrats to Jake Paul, man. That's all I got to say. Back on topic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Let's go. What's up? Talk about it up talk about it i shit the bed in my sleep bro i shit the bed in my sleep i shit the bed in my sleep i shit the bed in my sleep is that a metaphor no i shit the bed in my sleep. Is that a metaphor? No, I shit the bed in my sleep. Nah, you're lying.
Starting point is 00:08:48 I swear to God in my life, we're going to have the most romantic night of our lives. I shit the bed in my sleep. Shout out Colford Underwear. I shit the bed in my sleep, bro. I shit the bed in my sleep. I'm eating fucking bread and cheese for three days straight.
Starting point is 00:09:03 I had a super romantic night. I haven't slept. I'm all jet lagged. My shit cycle's all fucked up. Okay? Nah. This guy goes from no bread
Starting point is 00:09:12 for months. No bread, no cheese, no sugar. I'm just eating fucking patisseries, tartsines, everything like that.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I'm eating bread, cheese, nonstop. OD on the bread and cheese. I'm hyped. I don't know what he even shipped. He didn't come over. He shipped these in the window, bro. He's like, no way.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Son, I literally, we go out for the most romantic night. Let me tell you the whole thing. How the fuck we ain't sorry? The whole day is crazy. I can't believe I shit the bed. So look, look, look, look. I'm so upset at myself, son. I'm so upset. Okay, so we do the whole
Starting point is 00:09:43 fucking day. Yo, she loves you, dog. Say what? She loves you, dog. I thought it was her. She loves you, dog. I thought it was her. She loves you, dog. I never shit the bed before, son.
Starting point is 00:09:53 I thought it was her. I got up. I saw Lil' Sting on the bed. I'm like, yo, it must be her period. Oh, my God. I thought she got her period. I was like, oh, this girl is going to get her period and not wake up and do nothing about it. I started walking down the stairs like, why am I asshole cold?
Starting point is 00:10:05 Oh, my God. You sleep naked? Why am I asshole cold? No. It was in my culprit. It went through. It was in my culprit. It went through.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Oh, let me tell you something. How do you not wake up? I might have shit my bed and slept through it for six to eight hours. through it for six to eight hours shit my bed and slept through it for six to eight hours minimum i'm walking down the stairs in our hotel room okay and i felt about like the third stair i was like man why my asshole cold and wet and i was like what is going on here and then I put a two and two together I was like I just saw literally number two I saw her period
Starting point is 00:10:52 stain on the fucking bed I was like maybe that wasn't a period stain because it was on my side why would it be why would she get on my side and then I went to the bathroom I took off my fucking undies bow like a fire log nah nah nah not like a log I went to the bathroom. I took off my fucking undies. Pow.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Oh, my God. Like a viral. Like what? No, no, no, no. Not like a log. A little sneeze. Yeah. Like a little creme brulee.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Like a little creme brulee. Like a little pomme chocolat. It's just a pomme chocolat. That's all it is, bro. Okay. So now. We had the most romantic fucking day. It was absolutely beautiful.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Your boy was pulling out all the stops. I had the fucking vintage. Yeah, I know. Who booked this? There's no shot you booked this. Son, great vacation, Duff. No, son, no, son. Give it up to Duff, yo. It's my idea.
Starting point is 00:11:33 It's my idea. Duff did a great job. He helped me out. He was the one who found a car spot. But I also had Laurent helping out, bro. Hey, well, shouts to jerking me, by the way. Yeah, so give it up to everybody else. Yo, I had a lot of people helping me, son.
Starting point is 00:11:44 You just showed up and shit your pants. No, no. That's all you did, son. That's all you did. That was your whole vacation. I show up, I look fly, and I shit the bed. I'm talking to a French rental car owner while I'm in a bathrobe in Italy. I was having my trip, too.
Starting point is 00:12:00 I'm an ideas guy. I'm an ideas guy, bro. I come up with the ideas. Management. It's called upper management, bro. I'm Kanye, son. Someone learn how to make my childhood house there. trip to build an apartment building in Paris looking at the Eiffel Tower I pull out all the stops I called dumb ideas I thought about the ideas You couldn't even Stop your colon Son Son
Starting point is 00:12:26 Can I And I'll be honest I think I remember The fart that did it Whose idea was that I remember the fart that did it No that's the worst I remember the fart that did it
Starting point is 00:12:32 Because I pushed Hella hard Yeah But I was just so tired bro And I remember I just I pushed hella hard And I just fucking
Starting point is 00:12:39 Punctured through dude I literally Yeah anyway So yeah So we had a really romantic day Wait so did you have to Wake her up Yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:12:44 Did you try to hide it Son I didn't know due to morning i didn't y'all didn't understand where was she no i said on the way down i was like damn i think i shit the bed i thought i was trying to throw it on her but i thought that yo babe you shit the bed you didn't even try say what you didn't even try no i didn't fucking try i shit the bed You didn't even try Say what You didn't even try No I didn't fucking try I shit the bed Then went and bought her A fucking purse at Hermes A few hours later
Starting point is 00:13:09 We gotta cover this thing up We gotta Somebody needs a Kelly bag We gotta cover this thing up Wow Fuck We were struggling We went shopping boy We went shopping boy
Starting point is 00:13:26 We went shopping bro Women be shopping Yo you taking shit in a bed In Paris You know what I mean I don't know how to hold in bread I haven't eaten bread in a year and a half It's the same way you hold in all shit
Starting point is 00:13:43 No Ain't no shit different. No. No. And I'll be honest, I haven't had confidence in my farts for 48 hours minimum. I've been farting and just letting a little bit out. I've been farting like it's Call of Duty
Starting point is 00:13:57 when you see if someone's around the corner. You know, you're like popping it like that. Every time I fart, it's just like super delicate, a lot of focus on the lips Damn So did you buy yourself anything? No I didn't buy myself shit Depends
Starting point is 00:14:09 He bought himself Bread and cheese He bought himself I should have really brought a diaper too Nah We went to this fucking store Couldn't get a goddamn appointment She was so excited
Starting point is 00:14:20 We go into the store And I'm like I gotta do something boy Like I gotta make this fucking happen So we go in there And I'm just like yo what's good like i shit the bed yo you have people say it as an expression i know he's probably like oh yeah what'd you do he's like i shit the bed does it feel like the expression like when people say it no no it's actually it's an understatement people really misuse that expression it's much different like it's good it's much different when
Starting point is 00:14:44 it happens in real life to you and you're sitting there looking at your underwear as you take the rest of your shit. You're just lucky it was at a hotel because if this was at your house, the whole bed is gone. You got to throw out the whole bed. Oh, you're a piece of shit. We got to buy him a liner.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Did you strip the sheets when the maid came or you just let her handle it? I don't know, man. 100% he let her handle it. I don't know if we changed the sheets. I don't know if we strip the sheets when the maid came or you just let her handle it i don't know man 100% you let her i don't even know if we changed the sheets i don't know if we changed sheets i know she wouldn't like she wouldn't like that there's no way she would let that happen yeah we went shopping bro that shit was crazy damn i almost stole a fucking bag from her mess that's another thing that happened okay um i like that on accident on accident yeah you had a lot of accidents.
Starting point is 00:15:25 I did a lot of accidents. And this would have been a good accident. We go through this whole thing, this fucking Disney world for her. I'm like, I got to make this shit happen. Somehow we get an appointment for fucking leather goods, right? You got to understand, like, bags for them are like the most exclusive Jordan ever for us. They're Off-Whites, whatever. But like Off-Whites times a million, like, it means so much to them.
Starting point is 00:15:44 And they know it and they build the culture around it. It's amazing. When we get this appointment, they take us up to another room where they sit us down and they just start talking to us for half hour. Do you need an appointment?
Starting point is 00:15:53 How does that work? You can't get an appointment. And even if you have status in New York or California or America anyway, it doesn't mean anything over there. Why'd you gotta say you, bro? What do you mean? You said I couldn't get an appointment.
Starting point is 00:16:04 I felt like... No, you definitely couldn you definitely could now you might be able to who knows but we got lucky we were walking in there just looking regular as fuck walking in there like i gotta make this shit up so we sit down and i'm like i gotta build some fucking you know rapport with this guy like i gotta deliver for this girl she's freaking out she don't know what to say and i'm like all right we got this so i start talking to dude and the way that that you ingratiate yourself to any French people right now is you just say this. This is how French people are on your side if you just say this. You'd be like, say, you know, my tour guide, we were at Versailles today. And the tour guide said that we're so lucky to be able to experience Paris without Chinese tourists.
Starting point is 00:16:40 If you say that, if you say that, if you you say that it doesn't matter what french person they light up their eyes oh my this is so true it's amazing uh the city you can finally experience it it's incredible they're not walking around with their groups with their flag you know coming off of the stick the selfie stick yeah like they just go crazy so immediately he's starting to like warm up right and i'm like oh, we got this kind of guy. To be fair to Paris, that was way less racist than I thought it would be. Oh, it's a problem. Just wait.
Starting point is 00:17:11 Okay. There's more where this came from. Okay. So we're just talking. We're just talking. I'm, like, trying to, like, you know, build some rapport with this guy. I'm like, how do I establish value without bragging? Because French people don't like when you're bragging about money's gross to them.
Starting point is 00:17:24 It's, like, dirty. But at the same time, same time this is like you have to establish you know what's going on so we're saying like nice restaurants that we're going to oh we ate at this restaurant this that the other whatever like my girl's like freaking out I'm sweating there's beads of sweat dripping down my face right how many hours post shit is this uh six oh my god so it's still in your head a little still in my head completely to eight. We're there for 30 minutes talking. 30 minutes back and forth. Talking about what? Who you are, what's going on.
Starting point is 00:17:51 They're trying to decide if they're even going to offer you. They get to offer you the bag. You say what you want. They might not have your color, the one you want. No, we're out of stock. Sorry. It's not on the floor. This stuff is like this guy has to go in the back.
Starting point is 00:18:03 This is the Burke bag. There's a Kelly. It's a different the floor. This stuff is like this guy has to go in the back. This is the Burke bag. There's a Kelly. It's a different version. I remember one time I looked into Birkins and it was like, you can't just buy one. You can't. It's almost like Rolexes. You have to wait, be on a list, and then you only really get called if you're somebody. They call you.
Starting point is 00:18:19 And here's the thing about these bags, right? It's more so than AP or anything. The exclusivity of it. It's all exclusivity. And they call you. And if you don't accept what they offer you, they might never call your ass again. So you got a bunch of these old rich bitches that just got a bunch of bags. They're not even wearing it, hoping to get the one that they want.
Starting point is 00:18:34 Oh, wow. So I'm like, all right, let's build some rapport, blah, blah, blah. The girl, the dude goes, OK, my girl says what she likes. And my girl goes, OK, I might have something for you. She goes to the room. So we're just sitting there. She's freaking out. She goes, I don't know what to do my girl's okay I might have something for you he goes to the room so we're just sitting there she's freaking out she goes I don't know what to do she goes I know this is stupid I know this is fucking dumb I go I get it I kind of get it it's like you know if we had access to like the new off-whites or something like that it'd be it'd be really cool
Starting point is 00:18:56 or whatever so we're like let's just make it happen he goes why don't you guys come with me we go to yet another place he has one box he goes there's two options for you you see this one she opens it up it's like everything my girl wants it's like fucking perfect right so i'm like okay this is good but he's gonna know that we're frauds like what's going on how do we work around this he's starting to get comfortable we're starting to talk more out of nowhere he just goes uh he's just like yeah you know is it paris i don't like paris you know anymore it's just this is too dangerous. I know where this is going. I'm like, uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Because I really want my girl to get this back. Right? I really want it. So what am I going to have to agree with? Yeah. I think you're about to start sounding like one of my uncles. I brought up the whole Chinese thing, so I know he's really comfortable.
Starting point is 00:19:39 You know what I mean? So he goes, yeah, I have to move. You cannot live in this neighborhood. It's like, you know, I have to move. You cannot live in this neighborhood. It's like, you know, you just want a neighborhood with good white people. I go, fuck, bro. And I'm like trying to change the conversation. I'm like, yeah, you know, it's crazy. Like, is this movies are coming out?
Starting point is 00:19:56 I'm like, I don't even know what I'm saying. At this point, I'm like, what's going on? He goes, yes, you need good white people. Maybe move to the suburb or something like that. A neighborhood with good white people. It is something. Theyurb or something like that. A neighborhood with good white people. They're trying to replace us. They're replacing us. This is what they're doing. They're bringing these people from Afghanistan to replace
Starting point is 00:20:12 us so we do not have our city anymore. Our city, you cannot live here. It's not Paris. He's telling me, he's just going in. He's trying to make Paris great again, this guy. He's really trying to make Paris great again. And I'm looking at my girl. My girl's looking at me like, how much racism are we going gonna put up with For this fucking bag
Starting point is 00:20:26 Like equal rights or this sick bag What's it gonna be So I'm just sitting here I'm like alright listen we're gonna get this bag today And so We go I go I ask I was like This is really cool I'm just curious what the other one looks like
Starting point is 00:20:42 And the guy goes I just wanna let you know I can show you the other one but this one might not be available after i show you oh shit oh so it's deal or no deal deal or fucking no deal with the box literally so now you gotta go oh my god is there something better in the other box my girl's like nah this is one let's just go do it but this is brilliant it's all game but you know he's lying there's no one in the room we're alone it's It's just us. Are you going to buy it? Because it's all up to him whether or not he offers it to you. He's essentially, I think, saying, maybe I don't offer that to you if this isn't good enough for you.
Starting point is 00:21:13 That is also the case. So you look at this whole situation. You look at this whole situation, and it's so brilliant because they're selling you out the door. Right? Like, you feel like you got something that is so fucking valuable. Who wants to be a millionaire? It's like, you want to walk away with the $50, want to go for 250 yeah yeah can't we just build a wall for a little and like just ask like let's just look at the other ones something so i'm looking at this you would love that yeah so we go we go we get the bag right i'm calling my
Starting point is 00:21:38 fucking business manager i'm like bro make sure these fucking credit cards work it's you know what i mean i'm like it's a weekend he's probably at his like kids fucking cookout or some shit like that i'm like bro please yeah you get one card error i think please please don't fuck this up we went through all this stuff i put up with fucking racism there's a lot going on don't let my fucking card get canceled right so we go he goes like this now i'm so fucking uncouth i don't know about any of this shit i go okay so we're gonna go get the deal done and goes, your girl's already signed you up and made an account for you. I go, okay, I don't even know what that is. That's great.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Okay, that sounds awesome. He goes, okay, so I'll meet you downstairs. Now that is code, which I did not know at the moment, for you go down and pay, and I'll meet you at the door, and then hand you the bag. He's like a dentist. The dentist never tells you how much it is to fix your teeth. The Puerto a dentist. The dentist never tells you how much it is to fix your teeth.
Starting point is 00:22:26 The Puerto Rican girl that comes in tells you how much it is to fix your teeth. You can't say no to the Puerto Rican girl. It's too, right? But the dentist, he's above that. He's above money. He's a doctor. Doctors don't talk about money, right? I'm an expert.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Exactly, right? I don't know this. So I'm just downstairs hanging out, waiting. I see him by the door. I go, hey, what's up, my man? I walk up by the door I go hey what's up my man I walk up to the door He hands me the bag Thank you so much
Starting point is 00:22:50 I walk right the fuck up out to Hermes I'm on the street Free Hermes bag When do I pay I ask my girl I was like babe you paid She goes no I didn't pay I'm like remember that racist motherfucker
Starting point is 00:23:11 we gonna replace you with the sword thats what we gonna replace I'm like we are out of here we're gonna be like black people we're running fast I'm like yo it is what it is it It's karma. This is what it is. She says, my girl says, I'm out of here. I'm out of here. Come on, bro.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Wait for it. Wait for it. She gets me tight. I gave him your account. We set up an account. I go, what that mean? They have your address. They have your name.
Starting point is 00:23:41 They have your number. Come find me. That's part of me saying that. me. Part of me saying that. Part of me saying that. Hold on. JFK, I'll meet you at the airport. Part of me saying that. But then she got in my head.
Starting point is 00:23:51 And she's also like, but then we'll never be able to get anything from here again. I'm like, bet. That's what it is. That's what it is. Everybody wins. That's the real reason. That was a win. That was a win.
Starting point is 00:23:59 That's the real reason. That would have been a win for you. I know. It would have, right? And then fuck that racist guy. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so we go back in and pay pay and that's the end of that story i like the alternate ending better give me the snyder cut give me the snyder cut i know if i i
Starting point is 00:24:15 wish i could have lied right here i wish i could have fucking lied about yes we said fuck that guy walked out the choice is get one free hermes bag or pay for an unknown number of bags. That's what you got. I have paid for a sex number of bags. You should have rolled the dice. I know. What the fuck? We were on the streets. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:24:33 We're on the streets. I got the bag. The bag is dumb big. I'm like nervous we're going to get fucking robbed. The bag is dumb. Am I a Parisian? Fuck out of here. Definitely not by a Parisian.
Starting point is 00:24:43 This guy at Hermes had a point. That's not what anybody's afraid of. This guy had a point in her by the people the parisians have been raping for the last 200 years by those people but uh but i was like yo we out here but yeah man you were really playing who wants to be a millionaire and you said not me not me dog come on i know son i was this close I was this close Especially the racist shit Like that He deserved that
Starting point is 00:25:07 I know he did Yo We wouldn't have gotten An offer for a bag Al Nah All it is All it is is brown people in there All it is is brown people
Starting point is 00:25:16 Tell me this guy Was like Pakistani or something It's all fucking Saudis It's so funny The guy was Pakistani The whole time It's like white The ones buying the bags
Starting point is 00:25:24 It's all like, it's Indians. It's big money motherfuckers traveling. Saudi oil that comes in. All that shit. And they don't even understand how things work. They're just used to like, I want it, give it to me. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because with today's low interest rates,
Starting point is 00:25:41 it's a great time to refinance your student loans. Earnest offers low-rate student loan refinancing, and you can check your rate risk-free in just two minutes. With Earnest, you get radically flexible payments, and you can pick your loan term. By refinancing, you can reduce your loan term, save money, or combine multiple loans into a simple monthly payment.
Starting point is 00:26:02 And if you have questions, you can even talk to a real-life human at Earnest for help. Isn't it time you stopped feeling overwhelmed by your student debt? Earnest is offering our listeners a $100 cash bonus. Refinance your student debt at Earnest.com slash flagrant. Remember, terms and conditions apply. Now, Earnest is giving our listeners a $100 bonus. Refinance your student
Starting point is 00:26:25 loans at Earnest.com slash flagrant. Terms and conditions apply. And finally, let me tell you guys this. You get a $100 cash bonus when you visit Earnest.com slash flagrant to refinance your student loan. It is not available in all states. And remember, terms and conditions do apply. Now, let's get back to the show. They don't even understand that there could be a company that goes, I don't really think the bag would be good with you. Their brain doesn't understand. I can pay you enough to be okay with anything. Or they'll just buy it off of some other bitch.
Starting point is 00:26:55 It's just money means nothing to them. Right, right. But what a fucked up situation, right? Damn. Yeah, shit in the bed to shit in the bed. So that was Paris guys alright you happy that we spoke about it
Starting point is 00:27:09 yeah but the bread and cheese pretty good it was alright yo I'll be honest like Paris mid yup
Starting point is 00:27:15 Paris mid the food I was very underwhelmed no food is food is legit you were underwhelmed I was underwhelmed
Starting point is 00:27:22 but I'm not you like know the spots I don't think you were eating at the places he was eating at yeah he like knows the spots you know him and his girlmed. I don't think you were eating at the places he was eating at. Yeah, yeah. He knows the spots. Him and his girl research. I didn't do that.
Starting point is 00:27:28 I just went around and ate and tried to not find touristy places. I did that same shit. Yeah. My Airbnb would recommend places, and they'd be cool, but it was fine. It was cool. Yo, Paris is- Your Airbnb recommends places. Yeah, I hope so.
Starting point is 00:27:40 You see the disgust? He just looked at you. I passed that. Oh, my God. I'm glad you don't get an Hermes bag honestly hey me too that makes two of us no but it was
Starting point is 00:27:52 interesting like Paris visually it's beautiful like the buildings don't get taller than six stories it's basically like if Soho was the size of Brooklyn that's the way I would describe it remember when we were in russia and you saw like massive buildings but they weren't that high but they were just so long like that's kind of what happens if you can't
Starting point is 00:28:13 build up you got to build out so you have this like consistent architecture and it's like really beautiful and like it just exists throughout the city but in terms of like seeing something that i've never seen before it was super like it was regular i thought versailles was beautiful and i remember thinking cap wait why yo the french like louis the 14th the guy who built versailles is like the first rapper like the first instagram thought like the whole thing is cap like they were super in debt all the money was lent to them but their whole thing was we're gonna flex so hard that we're gonna convince everybody that we're the most wealthy and they're gonna pay to come here just to look at our bow wow challenge
Starting point is 00:28:55 kanye son kanye every instagram thought like it was all cap like they were so in debt everything bro when lulu 14s would walk around like gardens and shit, they would do one fountain at a time. They would holler at the homie at the next fountain, like, yo, he's about to beat you. Run the fountain. So they didn't have to waste water. Oh, wow. Because they couldn't afford to keep all the shit going. And so you're there, and you're like, oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Like, this is a business. And, like, literally people would come from all around the world just to look at the guy. They paid $500,000 to watch him shit. He'd take a shit in the morning, 500 grand just to watch him. And your girl got to watch you for free, bro. For free. That's good treatment. I paid.
Starting point is 00:29:38 You did. No, but I don't know. It's just really interesting to be there and see that. This has been going on from the beginning of time. The fake it till you make it is as old as human beings, bro. It seems like you age out of it. You know what I mean? Like the French are not as into like the gaudy, like ostentatious, like money shit now.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Oh, society ages out of it. Yeah. Yeah. There's a rejection of it. Or you just find other ways to be like ostentatious and gaudy. Yeah. Or you get killed like Louis the 16th and Marie Antoinette. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Soon later at that very spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was their whole tale. How would you describe the feel of it? Like the feel. Of Paris? Yeah. Rags?
Starting point is 00:30:14 No. Mid? Super mid? I thought it was like kind of gloomy. And not weather-wise, but just like... What is that? I felt it a bit gloomy. Yeah. It was just like, eh, everything about it.
Starting point is 00:30:24 It's a little dreary. There's a disorder. It's not even a real disorder, but like one of these bullshit disorders called like Paris syndrome or something like that. And it's basically like Chinese people come to Paris because they've been waiting their entire lives to see Paris. And they've built up Paris, what it is, this most magical place that's ever existed. And they go, Paris depression syndrome.
Starting point is 00:30:43 And they go there and they realize it's kind of mid and they just are depressed because they built this up their one vacation they're ever going to take in their life and it's just mid yeah and don't get me wrong it's beautiful and sometimes you see these like this ancient architecture it looks like some shit out of fucking like the roman empire the greek empire like it's cool shit but at the same times i don't know for me when i travel, being in fucking Morocco and seeing something that was so different was really cool. That was really interesting.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Walking around a city and seeing a bunch of restaurants and cafes, it's like, I could do that here. You're also from New York. That's completely different. Wasn't the city planted for New York the same guy that took the blueprints from paris or some shit maybe have you heard that i forgot where i heard maybe but like i'm pretty sure it was like modeled after paris
Starting point is 00:31:33 or whatever like that was like the first poppet city and then all the cities were like yeah let's just do the sick shit i mean that was popular i mean a lot of american cities were modeled after like uh successful european ones yeah but um i always appreciate history when I go to Europe. I'm like, oh, America, everything is so new. In India, the old shit is either decimated or it's so old, it's like, all right, I'm not looking at much there. In Paris, you're looking at, like, fuck, or in Europe, you're looking at castles and all these beautiful things
Starting point is 00:31:59 that are 800, 900 years old. You're like, oh, okay, I appreciate history as opposed to reading about it in a book where it means nothing. Going to Rome and seeing the fucking Colosseum is 2,000 years old and this is a massive thing. It's like, oh, this is beautiful. And Paris does have a lot of that. And I thought if I actually
Starting point is 00:32:16 went to Paris and just did that for a couple days, I'd be like, oh, that's really fucking cool. In and out. They gave up on day one of World War II and didn't want Hitler to bomb it. I understand why. understand he loved that place so much yeah no i i guess i understand i don't know i just thought it was kind of like it was yeah it was kind of like mid as far as you know a city like especially it's like a romantic city i don't think it's that i remember thinking rome when i was there i was like oh this is like romantic you feel it paris i didn't feel that i didn't feel like the
Starting point is 00:32:42 food was that much different like we maybe we're spoiled in new york i guess when like when i go to a place i don't need great food like morocco wasn't good food at all but culturally it was so unique like walking around that fucking shook whatever the shook it was unbelievable it's fucking unbelievable like what is happening right now you know like and i feel like i would go there and feel like i've been here it's kind of indian nature maybe maybe i don't know i just thought it was just i don't know people have like memorized this like plot of land that's i don't know it's like the perfect recipe for a horror movie like in morocco yeah like the the shoot i don't know so i just didn't feel that in in paris and i thought i was gonna feel i thought i was gonna be there and i was gonna be like blown away was
Starting point is 00:33:22 it your first trip i was there in college but we were fucking so you had paris syndrome i had paris depression syndrome you got paris depression syndrome we had a blast it's all about experiences once you see the city it's now like yeah can you turn it up yeah i guess but it was i don't know it's just kind of like interesting you know the world has gotten really small the internet has made the world like there used to be i think when we were younger you go to different place and like i remember when i lived in spain like the style was completely different. I went to Denmark. The style was different.
Starting point is 00:33:50 The way they dressed was just different. Right. And like, you just felt this culture clash. And now you go to Paris. It's like everybody's wearing the same sneakers. Everybody got the same jeans. Everybody got the same shirts. Like globalization has stopped like international travel in that way.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Like, that's why I like Russia. Because it because it was like oh people haven't been here like that's why I want to go with like a random country globalization has stopped international travel it has like sort of like taken away the like the luster of international travel it's made things less international because you go to London and you're like it's the same food it's the same stores
Starting point is 00:34:20 you lose the idiosyncrasies that make travel so like exciting right like seeing like I remember don't you remember like being in France and like seeing them
Starting point is 00:34:29 wear something different you're like oh that's pretty cool I remember when I would go to California when I was in college New York the way people dress here
Starting point is 00:34:35 was totally different than in California and I'd wear some shit out there they're like what the fuck is going on I'm that guy in six months
Starting point is 00:34:42 you're gonna wear this yeah exactly that's why I wanna go to like the place place that is a city no one even knows. Morocco. Yeah, Morocco's like that. Go to Morocco.
Starting point is 00:34:50 I'm like, Tajikistan. What is Tajikistan, bro? It's a bunch of rich motherfuckers. What's going on there? Is that well money? I legit don't even know what they look like. I'm like,
Starting point is 00:34:57 I want to just go and see that shit. Yeah, but no, I hear you on like the model thing. Because at least it's an authentic kind of culture. Think about traveling internationally in like the 80s
Starting point is 00:35:04 when the only frame of reference you had was if you got a fucking book about the place. You got the digest. Lonely planet. Yeah, that's it. That's all it is. You're going with a whole, everything is fucking brand new. I haven't, this is just some shit I see in a book.
Starting point is 00:35:17 One or two pictures here and there. You bring home souvenirs. Like what souvenir could you bring back from Paris? You're like, I could get that Hudson News. Yeah. Like I remember my dad used to bring back candy from France and it would be like, dude, we cannot,
Starting point is 00:35:28 we have to order this or get someone to ship it. Yeah. Now you can just get it at whatever grocery store. Dude, how about this? The food in Morocco
Starting point is 00:35:35 was a letdown for me because I've had better Moroccan food. Think about that. Yeah. I've experienced the cuisine improved upon from the thing that you'll go to a restaurant there like you go to it in LA
Starting point is 00:35:51 but we're spoiled in New York because of that yes 100% and I recognize that and I think people should still travel and have these fucking experiences it's also Americanized the Americanized Indian food from my palate I like that better probably than if I were to go to India and then have authentic Indian food for my palate I like that better probably than if I were
Starting point is 00:36:05 to go to India and then have authentic Indian food I'd be like eh like same with Chinese food or even Japanese food when I was in Japan I had like authentic
Starting point is 00:36:12 like just like casual Japanese like diner food I was like eh I felt that about Italian I feel like I get better Italian food here
Starting point is 00:36:20 than when I went over there it just works for you yeah exactly it's not objectively better but my palate as an American I'm like no the moroccan food is objectively in the northeast is fucking you talk yeah talk to like uh if you i mean does moroccan he'll say like the restaurants there just have shit food but if you go to someone's fucking house someone's
Starting point is 00:36:36 grandma's house you're gonna get the good stuff oh yeah for me it's like i never go to moroccan restaurants like my dad or someone's grandma crushes it do they not have a restaurant culture over there no like if you're moroccan you don't eat out right like yeah also like things like a couscous it takes so long you're not gonna go to a restaurant wait for all this shit to happen like you'll have a couple nights when you're out there but they know what they're doing too like even at the riad you stayed at like they you actually book a dinner there because the staff is like preparing this meal for you this whole time like you'd be in a home new york is only a restaurant culture yeah like you know one like you don't really cook in your apartment like kitchens are small like yeah yeah required to go out yeah i don't know it's just it was interesting to see that man like
Starting point is 00:37:17 i wonder what these kids will think when they travel like i wonder if these kids are going to do study abroad like study abroad there was different haircuts like when i went to spain like i came back with a faux hawk mullets and shit like and it was cool out there yeah do you remember that like that like kind of short up top but they had this long thing i was like oh what the fuck yeah yeah i thought that was weird as fuck girls did that started doing that shit here and then we start yeah yeah like you saw it happen it was just so cool and now it's just so instantaneous and i guess that is cool because you know you have access to all these other things you get to like feel a part of something you know like you don't have to like
Starting point is 00:37:52 let's say you grow up in like the middle of the country and people thinking you're some fucking bumpkin or something like that now all of a sudden you have access to all the same fashion blogs you know exactly what kendall jenner's wearing you can buy it on the internet and you can look just as cool as she does and you live in Columbia, Missouri. So I guess that's cool. You don't feel as alienated. Also, New York is extremely transient in that way. If you live in New York,
Starting point is 00:38:15 you know actual French people. In Orlando, I don't really know anyone that's actually French. And I think you're making a little bit, you're conflating fashion with the whole culture a little bit too much. Whereas the culture of a place is the culture of new york is incredibly different than the culture of texas different than florida the culture of paris is his own thing i remember going to amsterdam and looking around everybody's fucking riding bikes everywhere and just like it's just like a different culture there than it is here different set of values a different way
Starting point is 00:38:42 they live life that's a good point the things that And that's where you'll take and be like, oh shit, that's really interesting. And then just seeing like the history is cool but then also, I remember being in Amsterdam fucking freaking out
Starting point is 00:38:51 about uploading a clip and it was this beautiful day in Amsterdam. Everybody's just riding bikes and fucking eating at restaurants and I'm looking at them like, oh, I'm sitting here freaking out
Starting point is 00:38:59 because I'm not getting my 5G and these guys are just enjoying life and there was a moment there where I was like, oh, that's, there's a lesson there. there. Yeah. Did you find that the behavior or customs were different? Like friendliness, rudeness?
Starting point is 00:39:12 I'll be honest, the French are so happy to have us back. Really? Yeah. Especially in Paris. Yeah. Oh, really? Their whole city is tourism. There's no industry in their city. When you really think about it, it's fashion. Yeah, service. Service, right?
Starting point is 00:39:27 Food. That's it. It's restaurants, cafes. It's food and fashion. Hotels. That's it. And it's just like what Dubai is kind of doing. You know how they're like, we're just going to make the coolest shit to just look at?
Starting point is 00:39:38 Yeah. That's kind of like what Paris did. 800 years ago. Eat the best food. Look at the coolest buildings. Buy the coolest fashion. Enjoy. Just indulge. That's the culture. Look at the coolest buildings. Buy the coolest fashion. Enjoy. Just indulge.
Starting point is 00:39:46 That's the culture. The culture is indulgence, right? And literally, here's my takeaway. The French and the Japanese get to the same point. They just have completely different ways of getting there. Okay, exploit. Love it. The Japanese are like, I need to perfect perfect this thing and i will kill myself to
Starting point is 00:40:07 perfect it right i won't even enjoy it i will kill myself to perfect it because the perfection of the thing is the goal and the process of perfecting is the goal the french are like why would i eat something that's less than perfect make it perfect so I can enjoy it the most. I want the best cheese. I want the best wine. Why would I have something less? I need to enjoy. So the Japanese are like,
Starting point is 00:40:32 I need to sacrifice for perfection. And then the French are like, why would I sacrifice? Yeah, one's the desire to produce, other's like the desire to consume. To consume and indulge. So one is all joy-based, right? Like how do I make myself feel good? And it's kind of cool is like the desire to consume to consume and indulge so one is all joy based right like how
Starting point is 00:40:45 do i make myself feel good and it's and it's kind of cool because you get the best shit yeah you know that and the only other observation i saw is like um when you're the cafes all the chairs face out yeah yeah that was so cool i saw that on your instagram that was cool and it's just like it's one it's the most french thing it's like i could judge one person across me or i could judge all of the people yeah but like it's so nice to just admit that that's what you want from a coffee right like hey you want to have a coffee and talk not really but i'll like judge everyone with you yeah and it's just we'll talk about them yeah yeah i'm a king and this is my court. And I'm just going to be looking at all my servants.
Starting point is 00:41:27 Yeah, and if we build this beautiful city, you might as well look at it. Yeah. It was that. And then the only other one I saw was when we were in Versailles and they were talking about when they brought the, essentially the monarchy moved out of Paris. Louis XIV brought them to Versailles. And I guess the reason why was because they were going to kill Louis XIV
Starting point is 00:41:43 when he was like four years old. He became king at like four. So he was like, I don't know if I fucking trust these people. Let's guess the reason why was because they were going to kill Louis XIV when he was like four years old. You know, he became king at like four. So he was like, I don't know if I fucking trust these people. Let's get the fuck out of here. Right. So they move it to Versailles.
Starting point is 00:41:51 That's when, and I'm sure there's many other factors, but like, that's when Paris becomes this hub for, um,
Starting point is 00:42:00 like, intellectualism and like, thought and like, ideas. when you remove the oppressive regime from the city right it's no coincidence that like within the next few generations you have all these great philosophers coming out of paris because this is still this great city there's still all this art and now you got all these people like chopping up different ideas talking thinking about cool things like what is human rights and they're free to do so and they're a little bit more a little bit more free to do so right the monarchy's five hours
Starting point is 00:42:31 away do i really want to go five hours to yell at this writer yeah let it happen it's interesting how like one little thing could shift culture shift history history really yeah like that's all the french come up with the ideas and amer execute them that's what I realized the French like humans should have rights and then the French like yes they should and then they're like but we won't do that that's too much work to do Americans go I bet right there an ideas, figure it out. Give him a rights, please. Okay? That's all it is. Doug is the American and you're the French.
Starting point is 00:43:07 That's it. I'm fucking Steve Jobs. Okay? Figure it out. What's the act? Snap, snap. You needed to
Starting point is 00:43:13 to figure out your shit. But this is an interesting thing as far as like cities go because like Paris was one of like the first great cities. Like they had the first streetlights. They have all this amazing shit
Starting point is 00:43:22 and no one had ever seen it before in that way. Like population density without disease. People are actually living in this place. And then places like New York come around. Crazy disease though. Yeah, back in the day especially. They didn't even wash. Louis XIV
Starting point is 00:43:35 never showered. Still don't. And their whole diet is mold. Yeah. It's just mold. Cheese is mold. Wine is fucking All they eat is mold. I wonder if I give them some bacteria resistance You know, I mean like their gut flora like bread Bread is trying to defend not showering It was for their immune, you know what they would do they'd wipe because back in the day they took like one of those things
Starting point is 00:44:01 Monica no, no, no Scientists look into stuff. You see it. Microscope. What's it? Microscope, yeah. They look into water and microscopes and they saw all this
Starting point is 00:44:08 like bacteria and shit in the water so they were fucking terrified. Right? So they're like, all right, we're not drinking water. And back in the day
Starting point is 00:44:14 you can like fucking die from water and stuff like that. So they just wouldn't shower. They would wash themselves with wine. Amar Estadamir, that's where he got the idea. Is that what he did?
Starting point is 00:44:23 Didn't he take a bath in wine without the big picture he put on IG? maybe they would just drink beer a version of beer that was what they had instead of water
Starting point is 00:44:29 it was like this lighter version of beer it was like a fermented fucking water and have some tea because it was boiled and then I was like
Starting point is 00:44:35 didn't it fucking stink? and the woman that was telling us said this she was like when everyone nobody stinks but that was just
Starting point is 00:44:44 everyone's stink that was back in the day pre-hygiene. I interrupted you. So basically, you have this amazing city, and then New York comes around and then becomes the new center of the world, becomes the new amazing city. And then you're kind of unimpressed by Paris. You're like, New York has better things, it's more beautiful,
Starting point is 00:44:58 it's more functional. What is the next iteration of that? Ah, okay, you're saying across multiple territories. Paris 3.0. is multiple what's the city 3.0 yeah what's the city in like 50 to 100 years that makes new york like it's fine there's a lot of issues orlando probably you know what's tricky i think about this is like um globalization makes this tricky it's because all the cities will be replicas right and there's nothing wrong with a replica at all no but like um what was so great and unique about paris and new york and all these cities is that like they were built around the
Starting point is 00:45:33 cultures that existed there so is this influence from the dutch there's influence from the english there's influence from the french there's all these different influences and creates this like cool melting pot of a city right and um now any new city that's brought up is almost too calculated. I look at all these old things, and I go, why did we ever stop making that? Anytime we go into a theater, we're at the Orpheum, and I was like, why did they stop making theaters like this? It's probably inefficient. It's too costly.
Starting point is 00:46:01 Yeah. But you look at the detail on a building. I was looking at one of the buildings in this square. I forget, the Palazzo Vosge or something like that. There was a line of faces that were carved out of the same block or brick or whatever it was, by limestone or something like that. Each face had a different expression. Can you imagine saying that to some fucking Italian contractor now?
Starting point is 00:46:24 Like, this one has to be sad this one has to be like what do you tell we just make it windows yeah it's just all windows there's no life in it anymore it's too expensive culture is too expensive so i don't know what where that pops up i don't know there's an assumption like the future city you think it'll be things that look like dubai but it might be with like things like the hyperloop where we all come to work in the city but our life is mark lives in the woods i live on the sea someone lives in the desert and because it's so efficient and so fast to travel every day boom i i come in there do your job get back to your i i think that's definitely possibly i also think that like even like the younger generations are craving authenticity
Starting point is 00:47:04 like big time because everything is so fabricated. Even Chifty's generation especially. I think that they're just like this, I'm going to wear sneakers that are fucked up or I'm going to have a vintage this is cool. I'm going to go back to these old celebrities like Paris Hilton is coming back. Not saying she's authentic, but to them it appears that way. And it's like I think that we always crave something authentic. So I don't know when the next great city is, but I know that there's a reason why people are going to Portugal all of a sudden. It's like what is undiscovered?
Starting point is 00:47:34 What is still authentic and what's a unique experience but that hasn't been tainted is the wrong word, but hasn't been tainted by international travel? Because once we all go, they're just going to make it the most digestible for us. Like Indian cuisine in America. Because it's more profitable. But before we go, they try to appease themselves. And when you just appease the people there, you create this cool unique culture that we like to be voyeurs in.
Starting point is 00:47:58 Right. So. Yeah. I feel like South America probably still has a lot of that. Yeah. Yeah. If you go to like Lima or like somewhere else in Peru, like. Oh, yeah. It hasn't been as touched, but I don't know. I've never been. I would assume the Middle East.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Austin, Texas isn't. It's not going to make it happen. There's a, yeah, I don't know. It's something I've been thinking about. I mean, we spoke about it on Rogan. I don't know if we ever spoke about flagrant, but like, you know, I want to do a European tour this summer. uh what shut up why surprising what yeah why don't we do a spoke about rogan it's the biggest platform already
Starting point is 00:48:35 but uh years of it but but uh but yeah like and i want to do like european tour this summer but i want to like spend you know like six weeks out there in europe and like tour on the weekends and then do the pods on the week and like find a home base for the pod right right and uh i was thinking italy might be a cool one and i'm hoping that we could get some of that like real raw authentic experience i don't want to go to a city and i go i'm just in a version of new york right i want to go to a city where i'm like oh this is fucking awesome i'm lost i want to just walk the streets but you got to assimilate though yeah you got to dress like you you got to go full like a little fedora thing hell yeah you got to go full italian if you want to preserve the culture yes that is true i cannot fight it but yeah so i
Starting point is 00:49:21 don't know i i think that's very important that home home base that we pick, I think it's got to be one of those experiences that feels authentic and feels special. I would love it. What are you guys' thoughts on that? I like Italy. Al's kind of excited. You coming around a little bit? Yeah, I'm coming around.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Are you sure you're coming around? Don't suck my dick! Let's fight for it! Not to you guys, though! coming around? Don't suck my dick. It's fighting words. Not to you guys, though. I didn't know that. That black people, that's like fighting words. Yeah, but not if you say
Starting point is 00:49:52 it's a white. It's like, oh, we just played around. That's a punchline. Yeah. Mark, what do you think about that? Yeah, it'd be great.
Starting point is 00:49:59 It'd be fun. Yeah. So what city? Flagrant 2, what city? Where should we go? We want to redo miami but you know what feels authentic but i didn't like it venice venice is spectacular when all the tourists are asleep nine o'clock i thought venetians were kind of assholes but maybe i'm wrong they actually are
Starting point is 00:50:18 they're they're the italians that would be okay to split from italy they're venetian first then italian like barcel, like the Catalans. But doesn't their city smell? Nah. Venice and Paris are the two prettiest cities. We live in New York, bro. It's like, yeah, but we have a beautiful stink. It's so poetic.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I guarantee you, Rockaway Beach don't smell better than Venice. Nah, definitely not. I don't know Venice maybe I guess I would love to do Barcelona I've just already lived there
Starting point is 00:50:49 but it's just such a great city and I also heard that like Barcelona got kind of rough recently oh really hell yeah yeah that's culture dog
Starting point is 00:50:55 that's culture let's go I like Portugal I like Portugal's a vibe Tajikistan I still stand by that you guys all talk about Copenhagen
Starting point is 00:51:06 Too cold Sweden and all them It's just hard to travel It's just hard to travel My feeling about it needs to be close enough Where we're in a couple hours in a city Like Switzerland and Sweden Maybe not Sweden
Starting point is 00:51:21 But Switzerland's actually interesting The Swiss though What's wrong with the Swiss Yeah, maybe not Sweden, but Switzerland's actually interesting. Not Sweden. The Swiss, though. Yeah, maybe not. What's wrong with the Swiss? My bad. There's so many versions of it. We're not doing Sweden. No, Geneva is great.
Starting point is 00:51:32 What about Amsterdam? Is that weird? Amsterdam is fire, dog. Amsterdam is really dope. I fucking love it. Why are you saying no? I mean, I just, well, not the red light district. Like, that area was disgusting.
Starting point is 00:51:42 No, the red light district sucks, but the rest is cool. I don't like places where they're used to American light district sucks. You go there to go there. I don't like places where they're used to American tourists. Yeah. They're used to it there. Portugal still is a vibe. I think Italy would be a vibe, bro. I really think Italy.
Starting point is 00:51:53 What's the Atlanta of Europe? Florence is my favorite city maybe ever. What's the Atlanta of Europe? Yeah, like what city has got the most black people? Because that's where I want to go. London. Really? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:01 London. And Paris maybe. Paris. Really? There's a lot of them. Yeah. Yeah. Too many. They're replacing us. They're replacing us. I actually Oh, yeah. And Paris, maybe. Really? There's a lot of them. Too many. They're replacing us.
Starting point is 00:52:08 They're replacing us. Too many. Come on. You guys wouldn't want to do London? I love London. I'll do London. London is just as easy to do. London is New York. It's just a little bit cleaner. And people are a little bit nicer. And it shuts down a little bit earlier.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Other than that, it's New York. London would be the smartest decision. I would live in London, dude. I'd fucking love it. Yeah, it's like London would be the smartest decision because it would be... Like we could build something right there.
Starting point is 00:52:41 We already have something there. People know who we are. People listen to the podcast. But in the same way we went to Miami, we could really build. We could do something right there. We already have something there. People know who we are. People listen to the podcast, but like in the same way we went to Miami, we could really build, we could do local shows there. We could really kind of like make stuff happen. And obviously the language is not a barrier there.
Starting point is 00:52:56 Like I don't think we're building a comedy scene in fucking Italy, but we could really like be a part of that comedy scene that exists in London right now and helped, you know, bring awareness, whatever you do. That would be the best financial decision now and helped, you know, bring awareness, whatever you do. Um, that would be the best financial decision,
Starting point is 00:53:08 but I don't know if it's, it's the, for me, like I still want to take advantage of these years specifically when we could travel and like have, you know, these culturally immersive experiences. Like I want to go somewhere where it's like,
Starting point is 00:53:19 what the fuck is happening? Yeah. We're on a fucking hillside randomly driving some car, going to a vineyard, trying fucking wines. Let's enjoy this part of life, man. We have a few more years left. Italy, dog.
Starting point is 00:53:32 Maybe it's Italy. Portugal, I think, could be lit. Portugal. We need Europeans to weigh in. Yes, Europeans, let us know. Let us know what's going on. Take a break. Let's do it. Alright, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I need to tell you about the best water on the planet right now. This is the best water, the water that you're going to drink,
Starting point is 00:53:48 the water you're going to enjoy, and it's not even a question, and it is liquid death, okay? It is my favorite water on the planet, and I know this sounds shocking, but it comes in a fucking can. Yes, it comes in a can, okay? I can give you all the specs about how delicious it is, and it's from the Alps over here, and it's the most amazing, clean, freshest water on the planet, yada, yada, yada.
Starting point is 00:54:11 How about I just tell you it's the most delicious water I've ever had, and it's the only one I drink, and it's going to stop you from being dehydrated because once you crack that can, you finish that motherfucking can. Also, if you're one of these people that doesn't like to drink and you feel uncomfortable because you're at a party and everybody there's drinking they're trying to hand you a drink the liquid death can looks like a modelo it looks like a beer nobody's gonna bother you you get to fit right in with all these drinking degenerates and enjoy a nice hydrating beverage of the tastiest
Starting point is 00:54:39 water on the fucking planet we're gonna help you get it we're gonna help you get it matter of fact at a discount okay guys so here's the deal We're going to get you the best water on the planet and you're not even going to have to pay shipping. That's right. All you have to do is you go to liquid death.com slash flagrant. You do not have to pay shipping. You get that water, delicious water delivered to your door. You don't want to walk around with jugs of fucking water from the grocery store. It's a pain in the ass, okay? Your forearms are sore. You're going to make your wife or girlfriend pick up all that water. It's ridiculous. Have it delivered to your door. Easy peasy, it's done. You're going to do that by going to liquiddeath.com slash flagrant, and you're going
Starting point is 00:55:18 to get free shipping on all water and merch. So get anything you want, the water, the merch, you're going to get the free shipping on that or you can go to whole foods and 7-eleven you can grab them both there so that's liquid death.com slash flagrant or grab them at whole foods and 7-eleven now let's get back to this uh and let's talk about it we're just talking about before we had a little technical difficulty but um uh jake paul is now the biggest opponent in boxing. I don't care what anybody says. I just need you to ask yourself where you can make more money in boxing. Just ask yourself where you can make more money in boxing.
Starting point is 00:55:53 I know I was saying this before. I said Canelo's biggest money fight is going to be against Jake Paul. Most people listening right now, if you're not a boxing fan, you have no clue what weight division Canelo fights in. You can't name a person Canelo would even fight. You don't know other people at 168 pounds. You don't know other people at 175 pounds. You don't know anybody else at 160. The only person you could probably say at like 160 or 168
Starting point is 00:56:14 might be Oscar De La Hoya coming back to fight Vitor Belfort. Boxing in terms of casual fans being interested in actually knowing fighters, I hate to say this. It fucking pains me, but it's fucking dead. It's a shame to say, but the average casual, the guy who's coming up, the guy who saw on an undercard and was exciting, no longer exists.
Starting point is 00:56:34 We're naming guys. I don't think most people can name a boxer under 30. Name a boxer under 30 that wasn't on the Jake Paul card. Logan Paul. Ryan Garcia. Re-theory. Ryan Garcia. Oh, yeah. Ryan Paul card? Logan Paul. Ryan Garcia. Three theory. No, Ryan Garcia. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Ryan Garcia. There you go. Ryan Garcia. Now, another guy who came up, YouTuber, or really, he wasn't a YouTuber,
Starting point is 00:56:53 but he really laid into the YouTube. He started talking to guys. under 30? Gervonta is under 30, and great call, but Gervonta is too small to fight a Canelo.
Starting point is 00:57:02 Yeah. Right? So Canelo's biggest payday before this fight, I was like, there's no way. There's no way. Why would a Conor McGregor fight a Jake Paul? Why would you even do that?
Starting point is 00:57:11 Why would a Canelo fight a Jake Paul? Why would you even do that? Well, now you do it to make money, and now it doesn't seem that crazy. Matter of fact, I know you're saying, I know you're saying, no, no, no, it's not crazy. It is.
Starting point is 00:57:24 You can't name another person in Canelo's division. We just recorded this before you fucked up the video. You sat there stuttering for two minutes. I did because I needed to have the Googles. Exactly. Now you Google. But the fact is, most people cannot name another person. To me, it's very basic.
Starting point is 00:57:40 To get a lot of money, you need casual people to get interested. Casual people don't know most boxers. They know the Paul brothers. Whether you like him or hate him, they know him. I will pay to see him lose or I'll pay to see him win, but I will pay either way as a casual. It doesn't matter. And right now there is an all-time high in terms of wanting to see Jake Paul get beaten. There's a moment in the fight.
Starting point is 00:58:01 I don't know if you guys experience this. I don't know how you guys watch the fight. And I'm just going to have an honest reaction. Yes yes i'm ruined for this kid jake bro i'm ruined for this kid jake the kid is 24 years old he has the entire united states parts of the world watching him and he did that on his own with his team but he did that he garnered this level of attention started boxing three years ago this motherfucker's been boxing their whole life they can't get 15 people to show up to a fucking Hilton to watch them box. Right? They can't get a local car.
Starting point is 00:58:30 They can't get their family to come see them. They can't get 15 cousins to show up to see them. Right? There are comics right now probably hating on Jake Paul. You can't get 30 people in Houston to a show. Saturday night's busy. You know what I mean? Like, if you're in Houston, like, there's clubs.
Starting point is 00:58:45 Latino's got shit to do. He did it on a Sunday. You know what I'm saying? He did that show. Saturday night's busy. You know what I mean? Like if you're in Houston, like there's clubs. Latino's got shit to do. He did it on a Sunday. You know what I'm saying? He did that show on the Lord's Day. Damn. Okay? In a fucking arena. So let's put some shit in perspective.
Starting point is 00:58:53 The guy knows how to get eyeballs, knows how to get people to watch. Give him that. Yep. Regardless if you like him or hate him. Right now, there's an all-time high for wanting to see him get beat. I don't know if you guys are watching, but when you watch, if you did, and everybody at home, think about this as well. When Tyron Woodley lands the right hand
Starting point is 00:59:09 that rocks Jake, motherfuckers got excited. My girl's off the couch. I'm off the couch. Dove's off the couch. We're going, what the fuck is about to happen? I'm rooting for Jake. I'm rooting for Jake, and I see Tyron land, and land and i'm like oh shit this would be really interesting if the kid who talks all the shit ends up getting clipped in his hometown gets put down when tyron didn't take
Starting point is 00:59:35 advantage of the fact that he had him stunned and then later gets stunned in the round and then the next round comes out barely even throws any punches what did did I say? I said, Jake, knock this bum out. Knock this bum out. He had him. And he was afraid to try to finish that fight. And you gotta give Jake credit for trying to finish it. Connor? I'm sorry, the biggest money fight
Starting point is 00:59:57 Connor has, if Khabib's not coming out, Jake. And I don't even think that Connor beats Jake. I don't understand why it's offensive. You're not saying he's the best boxer in the world. He's not even close. He's saying he's the guy that would make the most money. But that's not accurate.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Who? Canelo made 15 mil his last fight. Conor made 700 thou versus Askren. Conor made? I'm sorry. Paul, brother. Paul, Paul. Made $700,000.
Starting point is 01:00:27 But what did he make in this fight? And Canelo made $15 million. But what did he make in this fight? He made more after that. With DAZN, he made $25,000 to $35,000 from the Saunders fight. Who? Canelo.
Starting point is 01:00:37 He made $700,000 guaranteed versus what came in on the pay-per-view. Yeah, that's what I think. And Canelo took a piece of the pay-per-view also. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Canelo has a guaranteed deal with DAZN, right? Where they paid him up front. I think they renegotiated that contract,
Starting point is 01:00:52 but it was like, you're guaranteed $300 million. So I think that what he makes in those pay-per-views gets chipped away from that amount of money. Okay. And he's not saying Canelo, Jake Paul will make more than Canelo. He's saying whoever Canelo fights, whoever he fought to make $15 million,
Starting point is 01:01:05 if he fights Jake Paul, he's probably going to make more than $15 million. Way more. We'll buy. $50 million, $75 million. It's like right now people want to see him get knocked out. And I'll be honest with you, Canelo fucks him up. Canelo fucks him up easy.
Starting point is 01:01:18 It's different. It's different. But what Jake Paul and his team have exposed, and this is the brilliance of him and his team, is we overrated MMA boxing. Yeah. They knew this. We thought, okay, these guys are savages.
Starting point is 01:01:37 They fuck anybody up in a street fight. They will destroy people. But the skill set that is striking in MMA does not translate to pure striking in boxing. That's true. And I've been thinking about why, and I think the reason is, one, your balance is completely different,
Starting point is 01:01:57 but I think a big component about it is, in MMA, there is no take a punch to land a punch. In boxing, you've got these gloves on, you is no take a punch to land a punch. In boxing, you've got these gloves on. You could probably take a shot if it means you're going to land a big one. You probably walk into a couple jabs. In MMA, if someone lands flush, you're going down. So you train yourself when you're doing striking. You train yourself to get hit and then not get any contact.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Land one punch, grab him up, throw him to the ground. In boxing, that's not the case. In boxing, I'm trying to set you up. Maybe I'll throw a couple light ones, hit you hard, light back to the body. There were times where I saw Jake Paul throwing three, four punch combinations. Tyron
Starting point is 01:02:39 was one punch at a time the whole time because in an MMA fight, that's all he needs. He needs one punch to sit your ass down. In his career, he won five UFC championships off of one punch. And to be fair to Tyron, if there wasn't ropes, he might have got Jake Paul with that one punch. Yeah, and some people might have given him what's called a standing eight count, like when it looks like you're dropped but the ropes save you. Some people might have given him that point, but he got washed the whole fight.
Starting point is 01:03:03 I mean, it was ridiculous when he held his hands up. And also, how different are the point structures? Is he thinking about points? Is Tyron in there boxing, thinking about MMA points? No, he's absolutely delusional.
Starting point is 01:03:12 When he raised his hands at the end of that, when he put his hands in the air, that was the single least self-aware moment in the history of recorded television.
Starting point is 01:03:20 When I saw him go like this after, I didn't even know. I thought, are you stretching? What could you possibly raising your hands in the air for? It's what every fight, it's what everybody does. Is that just him asserting confidence?
Starting point is 01:03:31 Like, yo, I got that shit even though you didn't? Bro, one round. Yeah. Tops. Maybe, yeah. Tops, one round. You got to do that because it's in the judge's hand. So it's like, you have to look confident at the end of it.
Starting point is 01:03:43 You have to pretend. I thought he knew. I was like, you have to look confident at the end of it. You have to pretend. I thought he knew. I was like, this motherfucker knows. At the end, when he was talking like, we got to run that back, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 01:03:50 I was like, what are you doing? You know what's so annoying about the run it back thing? Like, they made a deal on a deal that already existed. What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:03:56 If you get the tattoo, we'll have a rematch. No. The deal was, if you lose, you get the tattoo. Well, Jake got spun.
Starting point is 01:04:05 He got spun. Jake got spun. Because he knew that Tyron was never going you get the tattoo. Well, Jake got spun. He got spun. He got spun. Because he knew that Tyron was never going to get the tattoo. Yeah. So then he's like, oh, here's an option where you're really going to get it. Yeah. But fuck that. And I don't even care if he doesn't get the tattoo.
Starting point is 01:04:15 I don't need to see that fight again. You had the opportunity. I think Logan said it best. It was like, yo, you had the shot. Yeah. You had the shot to come in here and risk it. You didn't risk it. This would happen also in the MMA career. It seems like i'm upset at tyron i am a little i am a little it might seem this way
Starting point is 01:04:32 it's because i am it is if you felt that you're right it's see i mean like listen he this kid played you they knew it they fucking knew it and i think it's one of those things where it's like we kind of got to look at ufc or not ufc but mma hands and mma punching power is different than boxing punching power very different is it like tennis and like racquetball or some shit like that where it's like yeah on the surface they seem very similar but they're really not it's probably more like football and rugby okay now is it a testament to the athletes or is it a testament to how the training is done just training i think it's just the way the fight works. Yeah, I think it's just training.
Starting point is 01:05:07 There's an argument to be made. You might get better athletes in MMA now. Right. But it's just the training, and I really think it comes down to I can't get caught. Yeah. I cannot get caught. Counter-punching in boxing is pretty effective, and MMA is so risky. It's super risky.
Starting point is 01:05:22 There are people who do it. I mean, like Tyron made his bones counter punch like he would he would slip a jab and then he'd come over with that like big right hand and just drop people right but like mma you can connect big grab somebody get them to the ground while they're stunned keep pointing boxing is create some distance and tyron didn't know what to do he had him hurt keep swinging you see a second where he lands that big punch and then he legit goes flat and he steps back. Do you think these MMA guys are underestimating what boxing requires or you think they just don't have enough time to train
Starting point is 01:05:50 to get to that level? I think that they are underestimating how effective a reach advantage and a weight advantage can be in a sport that they're not comfortable doing.
Starting point is 01:06:06 You can mitigate reach and somewhat weight with really good wrestling. Yeah, if you get them in the clinch. That's it. I'm in the clinch. I'm inside. To be able to be like a really good inside boxer takes fucking decades. Yeah. So now you're just hoping you land hard also you're getting
Starting point is 01:06:26 tired because you're not used to throwing this many punches yeah so now you're exhausted now you're gonna knock a guy out with limited power in the eighth round not happening i think the difference and you spoke to it earlier is that they've been training so many years in mma they're not used to having to throw so many punches because he didn't use a jab. He didn't really counter as much. There was no combination. Dude, his whole crouch looked off. Like, that was an MMA low ass.
Starting point is 01:06:52 Yeah, so it's like the way he's fighting, he wasn't going about that to win on points. He was going about that, hey, I just got to get the knockout. He's got to get the knockout. And that's it. I'll be honest, once he hurt, go, go, finish, finish. No, no, no, I'm just saying that's the reason why these MMA guys who are trying to go into boxing. Because once you get tagged or once you get a little tired, then you revert back to all those years of training.
Starting point is 01:07:13 So even though you might have been training the last three months boxing, it's like you revert back in that ring to the MMA style. Anytime you're in trouble, you go back to what you're used to. And that's why you saw. He wasn't throwing. He wasn't throwing. And it's like he was in there trying to survive and i'll be honest with you and this was my concern when he hurt jake and he kind he didn't drop him but he dropped him into the ropes that was enough for him hmm yeah looked in his eye i looked at him and i looked at his posture
Starting point is 01:07:38 i looked the way he fought and i was like oh he thinks he did enough he got some moral victory he caught him he clipped him. It was a knockdown. It was enough for the bravado, but it wasn't enough to win the fight, and he didn't press the fucking action. That kind of bothered me when he lost. All the fucking commentators being like,
Starting point is 01:07:58 hey, he's nothing to be embarrassed about. He proved he could go eight rounds. You proved you could go eight rounds with Jake Paul? This is what you set out to do as a UFC Hall of Famer? To to prove i can go the distance what are you fucking rocky rocky one you a fucking kid from the projects in philly what the fuck are you talking about how did it all flip like jake is supposed to be the extreme underdog you started boxing three years ago it was pure cat from these motherfuckers it was unbelievable even the way the espn reported it because obviously espn got the ufc deal they go uh this was the headline jake paul fails to register a ko in his fourth bout wins by split decision yeah i've never seen a headline fails i mean the first thing you say
Starting point is 01:08:38 is fails i've never seen a headline from espn where it didn't lead with just who won yeah all right guys important news about the infamous tour man thank y'all so much for coming out to all these shows it's been crazy but this is very important news if you're planning on coming you already have tickets etc I want to give you some like vaccine mandate information for the different places obviously the different shows are taking place in different states different states have different rules so I'm just going to read some things out right here. This week, we are going to be in Oklahoma City. For Oklahoma City, there's no proof of vax or negative test required. Just know that. The next show after that is Detroit. Detroit has no proof of vax or negative test required. The next show is Milwaukeewaukee they require proof of vax or negative test okay they will have on-site
Starting point is 01:09:26 testing available um now they probably sent out a reminder email about all these types of things but make sure and if you want things to go quicker obviously you can and you don't want to get vaccinated or you haven't been vaccinated you can just go get your negative test beforehand and make sure you show that uh san diego no proof of vax or negative test required. And Austin, for the special tapings, this is very important. They do require proof of vax or negative test to enter. Now, they will set up testing for people who forgot their vax card. Maybe you're flying in from another country. Maybe you're flying in from another fucking city. These kind of emergency scenarios, we want to make sure that you can't get tested. What I would recommend is getting tested before. You don't want to be sitting
Starting point is 01:10:12 outside waiting for your test results to come in when you could be in for the special. Also, we're recording a special, so you got to be there early. It's not like you can walk in halfway through, okay? You got to be on time. So I would recommend getting the test beforehand, or if you're vaccinated or whatever you want to do, make sure you do that. So your life fucking make your own decisions. I'm not going to tell you what to do. That being said, if for emergency circumstances, we will set up a testing system so people can do it. I just wouldn't rely on that for you. I would go get your own so you can be there on time. But, yo, thank you guys so much for buying all these tickets to the shows and everything.
Starting point is 01:10:46 It's absolutely crazy. I think we'll have an announcement coming pretty soon, which is exciting. But we will see you guys at these shows. Go get them. Any tickets are left. There's maybe a few tickets left in a couple of the cities. Go get them right now. I'm telling you, the earlier you get them, the better.
Starting point is 01:11:02 Theandrewschultz.com. We've got a bunch more cities. We add another show in Chicago, add another show in san francisco add another show in dc uh the las vegas show is almost sold out man philadelphia is sold out just go go get these tickets immediately don't wait too long akas what you got cooking up uh i am in austin the week after not the week after andrew moon tower comedy festival nove Festival, September 23rd through 25th. October 1st, Houston. I'm coming back to Texas.
Starting point is 01:11:30 I'm going to be at the Secret Group. October 1st, come through. October 15th, Toronto. We already sold out the Friday show on October 15th. We do have one other show that Friday and two on October 16th. Atlanta. I'm going to be there November 5th at the Red Clay Comedy Festival. November 11th through 13th, I'm at Helium in Indianapolis. And December
Starting point is 01:11:48 9th through 11th, I'm at DC at the Comedy Loft. Tickets at akashsingh.com. Al, hit it! And guys, if you're in the New York area, you have a podcast or you want a place where you can have photography done, head over to my studio. It's wtfmediastudios.com.
Starting point is 01:12:04 It's here in Soho, york uh we also do consulting and that's it wtfmediastudios.com and let's get back to the show all you lead is jake paul wins by split decision not fail so rigid like he has to ko yeah why do you give a fuck vkos that's crazy i'll tell you why because you got a deal yep and it's a thorn in the fucking side of the UFC. And I don't, I think. Because if I say this, what happens is this. Right now, we all believe that UFC fighters are the baddest motherfuckers on the planet. These are the savages.
Starting point is 01:12:36 These are the animals. Yeah, Tyson Fury's cool, but I bet you Nick Diaz or Nate Diaz, if it was a street fight, would tap that motherfucker out in a second. Baddest motherfucker. Like, that's the belt. That is it. The baddest motherfucker belt That's the belt. That is it. The baddest motherfucker belt. Of course, when you saw Jorge Mazzudal and Nate fight for it.
Starting point is 01:12:50 But these are the ultimate fighters. Literally, the ultimate fighters. When you see them getting pieced up by Disney stars, that's bad for the brand. When you see them five-time UFC champions that are known for striking, afraid to contact. Even if there's a reason. Exchange with a Disney star.
Starting point is 01:13:12 That's bad for the brands. Okay? Now, this is not to belittle Jake because the motherfucker got some pop and he fought a smart fight and he knows what the fuck he's doing. But it's bad for the UFC brand. Bad to the point where I'm almost like Dana might want to release one of these guys. Not release, but allow one of these fighters. Because remember, anybody signed to the UFC cannot fight a Paul brother unless Dana says it's okay. Even if they're retired.
Starting point is 01:13:35 George St. Pierre can't fight without Dana's blessing because he's still under contract. That's why he couldn't fight Oscar De La Hoya. I didn't know that. So he got them signed. I mean, he got them on a deal. So I wonder for the brand, if you just let one of the bad boys out there, if you let a Jorge Masvidal, someone with fucking hands, yo, go take care of this little problem for me.
Starting point is 01:13:56 If you let Nate Diaz go, yo, take care of this little problem for me. That's the only way. Say what? You can't risk that because what if one of your big dogs fucking goes down to him? And they might. So that's why you can't risk that. Say what? You can't risk that because what if one of your big dogs fucking goes down to him? And they might! So that's why you can't risk that. He's playing it the way he's supposed to play. But he's going to keep on driving
Starting point is 01:14:11 that fucking thorn into his side. Jake is going to keep on... Now Jake has a legit win. I mean, Ben Askren was an incredibly effective fighter. But everyone knew he's not a striker. He was... Exactly. His hands were... He was doughy. His hands were soft. Like, nothing about him. As a boxer, nothing about him looked, he was doughy, his hands were soft, like nothing about him. As a boxer,
Starting point is 01:14:26 nothing about him looked like he was going to win this fight. Tyron looked like an athlete. Yeah, Tyron looked like an athlete. Chiseled. And he is an athlete. He is an athlete
Starting point is 01:14:31 and he was a puncher and an elite UFC striker just gets demolished by a Disney star. I'll repeat that. An elite UFC striker gets demolished by a Disney star.
Starting point is 01:14:42 Bad for the fucking brand. Yeah, I didn't think he, I didn't know he was considered an elite striker. Gets his biggest payday ever. And then... An elite UFC striker gets his biggest payday ever and gets demolished by a Disney star. Yeah, I mean, just pieced up.
Starting point is 01:14:56 I didn't think he was going to win. I didn't know he was considered elite. And I was just thinking, like, this is an MMA guy. He hasn't trained in boxing. Think what you will about fighting. It's different. But, and I found myself, I was rooting for Woodley for the fight.
Starting point is 01:15:07 But at the end of the fight, after Jake Paul won, I was like, yo, why do we hate this guy? And we should all appreciate this moment. Like, we all think about, I'm sure, back in the day, like, celebrity boxing would be kind of cool, just seeing these guys beat the shit out of each other. But none of them can fight. Now you've got a celebrity
Starting point is 01:15:23 who can fight and is taking out, granted it's not their sport, but he's taking out MMA guys in a fight sport. This is kind of fucking cool because I don't think Jake Paul has that many wins
Starting point is 01:15:34 left in him. I think as he steps up, this fight proved to me like, I think a real boxer, I think, I think he'll fuck him up. But this is the genius of this fight.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Now he has one more fight to make the 100 mil. Yes. And it's over. Now he claims he made 100 mil in this fight. Now he has one more fight to make the 100 mil, and it's over. Now, he claims he made 100 mil in this fight. I don't know if that's true. But he said, I'm 10% closer to being a billionaire now. That means 100 million, right? 10% of a billion, 100 million. Maybe he may have made it in.
Starting point is 01:15:58 I'm not really trying to count pockets. He definitely made a lot of fucking money. There's no question, right? Got the lion's share of that pay-per-view. Paid everybody out lovely. That being said, he, by taking this risk, and it was a risk to fight Woodley, they knew it wasn't that big a risk because they've been sparring all these guys. They've been bringing in the MMA guys.
Starting point is 01:16:15 He's been in the gym fighting with these guys going, wow, it's actually not that tough to fight them. And then fighting with real boxers and going, oh, this is a different game. Yeah, he took Mike Perry. You remember that? He was sparring with Mike Perry, and he was like, oh, I see what we're dealing with. I know a guy, a guy that I train with in Miami. He's one of his coaches slash sparring partners.
Starting point is 01:16:36 I think either coach, sparring partner. Jake Boswick. He was a bare knuckle guy. And this guy was a fucking savage, dude. I remember just being in the in the ring with him like going man if you were coming at me like with gloves on even not having fun it would be a horrible day yeah just solid rock fucking solid right so if jake's in there banging away with that guy and he's banging away with these top guys he's banging away with guys that are legit boxers
Starting point is 01:17:02 and then he's getting there with these m guys and going, this is a lot easier. When he called out Kumaru, he knew something. I thought it was all cap. I thought it was like, yo, let me just call out the biggest guy. No! He knows in a straight-hands boxing match, he might have
Starting point is 01:17:19 an advantage on Kumaru. Now, if it's a MMA fight, forget it. You're looking at an absolute fucking savage. Yo, they'll break his limbs. Ben ask him to break his limbs yeah it don't matter like like ask and said i can commit a homicide if i wanted and jake is aware that i don't think he'd ever say nah these motherfuckers couldn't get me yeah but in the boxing ring specifically you see the limited tools you saw it happen to connor against floyd now floyd's the greatest ever connor's got one hand yeah tyron has one, it wasn't even close. Like I told you, in my mind, I was like, oh, it'll be close.
Starting point is 01:17:47 It wasn't even close. It wasn't even close. Yeah. You also got to give Jay credit. I, again, I'm rooting for Woodley when I'm watching. That fucking fourth round shot, Jay came back from that. He ate that, and he kept boxing. This is a Disney kid, dog.
Starting point is 01:18:00 This kid worth eight, nine figures, whatever the fuck it is, and he takes that shot nothing really no financial gain on the line and he's like now let's go let's keep boxing yeah and i also think a lot of credit's got to go to like his team like jake's trainers and shit like bj flores like all those like all those guys like i think i almost think yeah their future yeah their future is like oh yeah i took j Jake Paul and made him a star. They could train anyone. I feel like people would be wanting to get on that team because they're like, yo, you took a Disney kid and made him into this?
Starting point is 01:18:31 Even if it was Jake Paul's work ethic and everything else, for them, it looks great. And then on top of that, the fact that they knew the fighters to go for. That requires a lot of confidence and a lot of gambling. Yeah, that's savvy, dude. The kid might act like he's not the brightest or whatever, but he's not dumb. He's sharp. But the team too,
Starting point is 01:18:49 like they can look at Tyron and go, oh yeah, like this guy's got hands, he has the resume, but he's not going to go for it and let go in the final rounds and you could actually take it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:56 Like to know that ahead of time is like crazy fight IQ. Yeah. No, they know what they're doing and give a credit to him because I don't know anybody that's BJ's trained outside of Jake.
Starting point is 01:19:09 BJ Flores is his head trainer. So I don't't know i knew he was a boxer back in the day but i don't know else he's trained to just understand that to see these guys in the gym and like see the sparring and expose that weakness in mma is it's impressive and i'm telling you the biggest payday he's the biggest opponent in boxing opponent. Are you taking Floyd out of that? Floyd's retired, in my opinion. Okay. And if he comes back for a money fight with someone, whether it's Logan or whether it's Canelo, whoever it is, would that be a bigger payday? Way bigger. But I don't look at Floyd as an opponent.
Starting point is 01:19:38 Floyd is the boxer. Floyd is the name. Jake is the opponent. Like, Canelo's the name. Jake is the opponent. That's why the name Jake is the opponent That's why he said Canelo's biggest opponent is He's the biggest opponent In boxing
Starting point is 01:19:50 Okay Right So if you look at like The real Quote unquote Real boxers The real boxers now But look at the legacy boxers
Starting point is 01:19:56 The guys who exist right now The champions The champions that are out there Their biggest opponent Is not someone else In their division Some Cuban guy You guys can't even pronounce his fucking name,
Starting point is 01:20:05 but it's going to be Jake Paul. And it doesn't matter who it is. Fucking Keith Thurman, your biggest payday? Jake Paul. Teofimo Lopez? Your biggest payday? Jake Paul. It don't matter who it is.
Starting point is 01:20:16 Jermonte Davis, your biggest payday? Jake Paul. I get it. Does that make sense now? Okay. So it's like all those guys could fight each other and make less money if they fought Jake. And Jake put himself in that position with this win over tyrant and that's
Starting point is 01:20:28 why connor who wouldn't even mention his name is all of a sudden going salivating and of course he'd like a boxing match because i know you don't want to do any kicking anytime soon yeah the best thing that connor could have for his comeback is to go fuck up jake paul make 100 million in the process but i'll tell you one thing. It ain't going to be easy. No. It ain't going to be easy. I'm not positive. I think I would have bet Jake this fight.
Starting point is 01:20:51 I think I would bet Conor if they fought, but I wouldn't be super confident in it. Look, Conor had power at 145. Comes up to 155. Nope. I don't really have power. Nope. 170, no power, just speed. 190, what do you have?
Starting point is 01:21:05 Yeah. What do you have at 5'7", 190 going up against a guy who's 6 feet, legit power, range. Yeah, weight class is actually, you're right. Easily. Yeah. So I'm almost like, I don't know if Conor takes that fight. Like, legacy-wise, he's like, all right, just lost to Dustin.
Starting point is 01:21:23 Do I really want to? I mean, it's just. How much is 150 lost to Dustin. Do I really want to? Do I want it? I mean, it's just. How much is 150 mil to me now? He made 180 last year. Do you want another 150? And also, if you're Dana, it's like, do I want my cash cow to get concussed by a Disney star? It's the worst.
Starting point is 01:21:39 So after this, I'm like, I don't know if we even see that fight. Of course. I mean, of course not. Maybe to Al's point, it's like, now you can't let any of them fight. It's just too big a risk. The question is, who in MMA? And the problem, if you don't let any of them fight, Jake just keeps fucking. Talking that shit.
Starting point is 01:21:54 And not just talking that shit. He's talking to the fighters like, yo, why won't Dana let you get your payday? Breach contract. And that fucks with you more than you losing in the brand as a fighter personally. Like, this motherfucker really not letting me make eight figures on a fight. And he's going to pay me six figures for something. Do you want to fight Charles Oliveira for $250,000 or do you want to fight Jake Paul for $10 million? If he goes, yo, break contract, I'll pay for it.
Starting point is 01:22:14 That's a crazy flex. I don't know what the actual money is for breaching contract like that. I mean, you're going to be tied up in litigation forever. You're never going to see any of that fucking money. They might even stop the fight. They might have legal recourse to not allow the fight. You don't have to go that far.
Starting point is 01:22:28 Just keep fucking with these guys. If it's a sanctioning body, if you're going through an actual sanction, I like the Nevada Athletic Commission would be like, yeah. But even if that doesn't happen,
Starting point is 01:22:36 remember Francis Ngannou was on our podcast and he was like, something about the money. He didn't seem very upset about money. Then after the first Jake Paul-Ben Askren fight, he tweeted
Starting point is 01:22:46 something like, how the fuck are these guys making so much money? They're all noticing. And Jake Paul is calling it out so they're noticing even more. Like, yo, this is the payday. So Dana almost, if you don't let these guys, if you cut it all off, they're all going to start looking like, why are you cutting off the biggest payday
Starting point is 01:23:02 in my life on a sport where I risk my life? Yeah, for a quarter of the damage, mind you, also. Yes. Like, you get in the ring with Jake Paul, you're like, all right, I'm going to walk home. You know what I mean? I lose my split decision and I make $10 million. Yeah. Of course Tyron really wants a rematch.
Starting point is 01:23:15 I mean, Tyron not making no $10 million. He made more than he made before. I think, yeah, maybe he made a mil or something like that. But, like, still, it's still better than you're ever going to make anything in in UFC. Yeah. It's just unbelievably impressive to see what happened with this fight. He can call whoever he wants now. And you have to take it seriously.
Starting point is 01:23:33 And again, I think we should enjoy this, whether you like him or hate him. Either way, just enjoy what's happening. Because the second he starts fighting real boxers, I think it's a wrap. And if I'm him, I'm not fighting him. Yeah. Like, why fight him? You know, you fight one real boxer
Starting point is 01:23:47 for a hundred million dollar pay. That's the only thing that you do. You fight Canelo. You can fight Tyson fucking Fury. It doesn't matter if you get knocked out in the first round. Make the big money.
Starting point is 01:23:56 Tyson will kill him. Yeah, maybe the heavyweight thing is a little bit, you have to have some advantage. How far is Floyd? Deontay Wilder would fucking, oh my God. How far is Floyd?
Starting point is 01:24:04 What? Like, is that even an option, you think? Is that even a fight? I think after Floyd went in there with Logan and he was like, man, I can't hurt these guys. Yeah, it's not fun. It's not. What's the point? He's too far weight class.
Starting point is 01:24:15 Yeah. He'll beat him the same way that he beat Logan. It'll just be basically the same fight. Yeah. And it's like, okay, they can take a punch. Like, Tyron hit him with a great shot. Yeah. He stood up and he kept swinging the rest of the round.
Starting point is 01:24:26 Like, this is Tyron. It hits hard. He's got a chin. Yeah. Especially with those big gloves. They're tough. The kids are tough. So it's like, I don't even know if Floyd cares about all that.
Starting point is 01:24:36 Especially if his team's like, yo, Jake's actually maybe a little more technical than Logan. He might be better than Logan. So, yeah, I just, mm-mm, bro. I don't know. Al, you're not buying it. because it was ugly boxing bro yeah it was ugly boxing like i mean i've never seen boxing that ugly this is what i that's he's not a pro boxer i'm watching this i'm like oh i see how you're a real boxer we'll fuck you up but an mma mma box is also not and i get all and the drama is there enough that we know we got to talk about it i get the box is also not and i get all and the drama is there enough that we know we got to talk about it i get the entertainment factor about it and i'm not a hater on that but
Starting point is 01:25:10 just it okay here's their mistakes that he that he's making uh not mistakes per se but just like things that he's doing sometimes off balance he'll throw a double jab and his back foot will like slide out the back like like just different weird things that happen because he's young in the game. But here's the biggest equalizer. Power. If you look at guys who have power, like real power, a lot of times their technique ain't shit.
Starting point is 01:25:37 That's true. You say that about Deontay Wilder. Yeah, it's like Deontay Wilder can't box to save his life, but that motherfucker hits you, you go into another galaxy. But that's why it's nice to see him go up against Fury, who has technical skill. And now it's like, oh, you see the difference between boxing and just a brawler. Yes.
Starting point is 01:25:50 Like, that is beautiful to watch. This was just two fucking brawlers. Put another cruiserweight in there that has a lot of experience in boxing. So they're 10 years old. It's going to be a very different game. Put a guy who's 160 pounder in there. He has a 30 pound weight advantage. Even if that 160 pounder has been fighting for his whole life.
Starting point is 01:26:05 You never know. Might be interesting. You never know. I'd watch that. If he goes against an actual boxer, I'd watch it. Against Tio Fimo, what do you think? I think, or even someone else on the card. Like that one dude, Montana, for his name. I think with Montana, like Montana Love, it's like, okay, maybe
Starting point is 01:26:22 he doesn't touch him at all, but Montana Love's not going to be able to hurt him. You know what I mean? So it's like, okay, maybe he doesn't touch him at all, but Montana Love is not going to be able to hurt him. You know what I mean? So it's just going to be maybe another Floyd-esque fight. Maybe he loses on points to a really skilled, quick guy. Okay, so you lose on points, but you're not going to get dominated. You're not going to get knocked out. You're not going to be able to create enough power and put yourself in
Starting point is 01:26:38 the danger zone in order to hurt him. Because if he's taking one big fucking shot from Tyron Woodley, he's going to take 10 shots from tyron woodley he's gonna take 10 shots from a kid who's 130 pound fighter yeah it's just not gonna hurt you know at a certain point in time it's just physics anyway it was just a crazy thing to fucking happen what world do we live in right now i know it's just unbelievable all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because some of your pubic hair looks fucking disgusting and you need to take care of it immediately okay
Starting point is 01:27:04 you know exactly who you are just sitting there, sweat dripping down your balls because you haven't clipped your pews and probably three to five years. Your girl's pissed off. If you don't have a girl, maybe that's the reason. Make sure your dick looks good. Okay. It's the first thing you could do. That's the outfit for your dick. Okay. Make sure your dick is in a nice outfit. If you're taking off your underwear, you're taking off your pants, and you feel a little bit embarrassed because you're looking disheveled down there, that's your fault, and you can fix that. And Manscaped is going to be the one to do it.
Starting point is 01:27:33 I'll tell you the reason why I love Manscaped because it saves me fucking time. Simple as that. I got to trim my shit up nice and proper, okay? I got to make sure my thing looks absolutely immaculate, and I do it with Manscaped because it's going to save me minimum 25 minutes in time. If you're doing with the old razors, you're shaving everything, you're clipping down and all this other stuff, you're worrying about cutting your fucking ball sack open. It is dangerous. It is time consuming. It is a pain in the fucking ass. You get down there, literally you're in there and out of there a few minutes with manscape okay they got the best stuff they got the new lawnmower 4.0 trimmer the weed whacker
Starting point is 01:28:09 ear and nose hair trimmer crop preserver ball deodorant crop reviver toner performance boxer briefs and they have a travel bag to hold your whole solar system okay i still use that travel bag when i travel on the road so So what I recommend that you do is you get that Performance Package 4.0 that has all the things that I just said in them. They've just taken off and it's not only in the USA, but Canada, the UK, across Europe, Australia, South Africa, and Singapore. Singapore, get on it. First and foremost, you're going to want to make sure you get that Lawn Mower 4.0 trimmer. I'm telling you, that is the game changer. That's the one that I love. That's the one that's going to
Starting point is 01:28:48 make everything perfect for you. Shave it right down to your balls. Shave it down to your ass. Doesn't matter. Get the hair out of there. You know that you got to look better. So this is how we're going to get you the most beautiful pecker on the planet. Okay. You are going to go to manscaped.com slash flagrant. And after you go to manscaped.com slash flagrant, you are going to get 20% off and free shipping. Okay? That's 20% off and free shipping by going to manscaped.com slash flagrant for a clean Trinity and beyond. Your space balls will thank you. Trust me.
Starting point is 01:29:20 Your girl will thank you. The girl you haven't even met yet will thank you. You will thank me. Okay? You will thank me because you're going to be even met yet will thank you. You will thank me, okay? You will thank me because you're going to be looking at your dick and you're going to feel proud. You're going to be looking at your dick and you're going to be like, man, I feel accomplished today. I have the confidence to go out there and talk to anyone.
Starting point is 01:29:34 That's what Manscaped is going to do. Manscaped.com slash flagrant, 20% off. Go get that new 4.0, man. Get that trimmer and go to work. Now let's get back to the show. All right, and we back. Kanye dropped. Let's have an honest conversation about it.
Starting point is 01:29:49 Let's go. Let's have an honest conversation about it. I tried to listen. I was skipping a lot. I had a couple songs that were cool. Favio killed it on that shit.
Starting point is 01:30:08 His verse was crazy. Did you listen to that one which song was he on uh was it uh off the grid or some shit i didn't know who a lot of the features were goddamn songs also he doesn't put the fucking feature yeah that was frustrating let me know who's on what i think it was off the grid um but like, I keep on going back to this. Is it Pablo? No. You turn on Pablo, and the first five or six songs, you just couldn't stop listening. Unreal. One after another, transition, everything beautiful, boom.
Starting point is 01:30:41 This wasn't that to me. Nope. I'm just like, Drake, the ball, put it this way, the ball's in Drake's court. Boom. This wasn't that to me. Nope. I'm just like, Drake, the ball, put it this way. The ball's in Drake's court. Yeah. Drake can get Kanye to fuck out of here if he wants. If Certified Lover Boy comes through, Haymaker, he just goes like this. Bye, little pipsqueak.
Starting point is 01:30:59 See you later. In my opinion. Your guys' thoughts. I thought if he made it, it was 27 songs, I think, by the end. He's just trying to game streaming. Your guys' thoughts. I thought if he made it, it was 27 songs, I think, by the end. He's just trying to game streaming.
Starting point is 01:31:08 Trying to game streaming and that bothers me. If you want to make a classic, if he had 12 songs on there, I would be like, holy fuck. And this is where you, like,
Starting point is 01:31:16 I recognize Kanye's genius in that he had a song, I think it's called Lord I Need You. The one about Kim. How you can make a fucking, make me feel this way about kim kardashian who i've never liked i'm like yo this this girl sounds great
Starting point is 01:31:30 this is his genius he can make this emotional of a song about his ex-wife but there's so many songs on there where you're like yo i just i don't know what what the fuck is going on and that's what got them is beautiful songs but also a lot of just filler first listen i hated it okay good first first listen i hated it yeah uh too much lord shit too much jesus shit i don't like the fact that there's no curses on the album like i want like give me the option give me the uncensored version and give me the clean version but the fact that there's none um second listen, I fuck with it. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:07 So it's like, I think it depends on your environment where you're listening to. The first time I was listening, headphones in the pool, and I was like, ah, this shit is mad long to get through. Mad long to get through.
Starting point is 01:32:17 Second time, I'm at the gym, and it's playing on a speaker. Sounds good in the gym. I would want to hear it on loudspeakers. Sounds good. In a car. I put it on the phone, on the speaker on my phone as we were coming back. We just landed, and we're coming back from Newark.
Starting point is 01:32:32 Yeah. And I press play, and I'm like, you want me to play on the speaker, babe? You can listen. And I just, dun-da, dun-da, dun-da. And then it's like 15 seconds of that, and my girl's just like, oh, my God. It's a minute of dun-da. So, yeah, I think part of it is that that was just the pure auditory
Starting point is 01:32:47 experience, and that there was visual elements that sort of went along with it, and that the whole album sort of was like a show, sort of, at the listening party, apparently. I didn't see it. But for the Donda chant, it was a different picture of him and his mom growing up on every iteration of Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda. And it was just
Starting point is 01:33:04 flashing images of him growing up with his mom, and then donda donda and it was just like flashing images of like him growing up with his mom and then like his mom passing away so like there was like a story within that song to me that is like a skip like oh yeah i'm not even gonna listen to this okay there was a big fire yeah exactly but at the show it was like oh there's actually a cool thing happening like his mom's name is now like this word that doesn't even sound like a word like so apparently in the live experience it came across different than just purely audio yeah and that happened with a few different listened majority by people who are not at the live show is that only audio so it's like you're curating something that isn't going to satisfy the consumer right it's kind of stupid okay we're going but i'm assuming he's just like a purist
Starting point is 01:33:40 crazy person that's like this is the way i has to be this is the way the live show was and this is the way i want it to be you make crocs you make crocs you make crocs that's what you do you make your money on crocs don't give me this purest fucking shit you make crocs did he actually do a crocs club no but that's what the sneaker is a fucking crock. You make crocks. Right? You're such a hater, son. You be a hater, son. What? You are a hater. Why am I a hater? Son, he made something different.
Starting point is 01:34:14 And the fact that he makes it cool, you don't like that. You call yourself Jesus. You call yourself the greatest fucking creator ever. Yeah, he calls himself Steve Jobs. That sounds familiar. I'm saying it himself Steve Jobs. You know, that sounds familiar. You're such a hate. I'm saying it sarcastically. I know.
Starting point is 01:34:28 He's dead serious. So once you call yourself that shit, you got to be open to the criticism. If he was like, yo, I'm mid. I'm regular. Yeah. I'm just one of the guys. I'd be like, bro,
Starting point is 01:34:37 you're a little better than one of the guys, bro. Like, you see these Crocs? These are the most fire Crocs I've ever seen. Why would you say that you're just a regular guy? You took Crocs and you made them cool enough to wear with jeans and shit. But if you call yourself Jesus Steve Jobs and you just made Crocs with holes in them, I'm going to say that's who you are. You set the expectation for how people consume you.
Starting point is 01:35:00 Isn't that Versailles, what you were just saying before? He's Cap. But it's not Cap. It's not Cap. Anyway. You were saying. You were still saying. So I'm curious about the live show.
Starting point is 01:35:12 After listening to it, I listened to it twice, and on the second listen, it was kind of the same thing. But that's how all Kanye's albums are to me. The first time I listened to Pablo, I was like, oh, that's cool. It's good. But then the second time, I was like, oh, yeah, I'll listen. There's no skips on this.
Starting point is 01:35:23 The first time, I was like, I'll skip a few songs. I think you can skip Pablo on the back third. The back half. Or the back half, maybe. But now I love all those tracks. Fair. But the first time I listened to Pablo, number one, I was like, this is fucking unreal. Dude, Raves is fire.
Starting point is 01:35:37 I wish that this album is what Jesus is King was. Ah, so it's got a lot of the Jesus stuff in it. If you're going to make a gospel album, that's dope. But is king i was like i can't this is written not even listenable like i did not enjoy anything on here whereas this track had like jesus influence but also like old connie and i was like okay that's a cool way to approach a gospel album so make this jesus is king and so like i'm hoping that's what he was trying to do he was trying to do like the redemption thing and then the next album is like more like pablo and the rest of it but as far as like a listening experience listening to it all the way through i thought was like fun if you're listening like you got through the whole thing yeah i was doing at
Starting point is 01:36:11 the gym but like if you're listening intently like okay i'm listening to this song i got this lyric there was one song was like eight minutes 45 seconds or something i mean i was on a flight so i was it was also i didn't get like the repeats like doing like JL1 JL part 2 and it's just the same song but a different feature I'm like I know the JL1 he made some something
Starting point is 01:36:30 well I thought they didn't get JL2 I thought it was well he added it later it dropped last night it did drop last night yeah cause the baby there was something going on
Starting point is 01:36:36 but here's what I think that song slaps here's what I think people love it that's probably my favorite song that's my favorite song JL is the favorite JL1 and 2 are both fire
Starting point is 01:36:42 okay Jay-Z's verse I actually thought was pretty good Jay-Z's verse is actually thought was pretty good. Jay-Z's verse is the highlight of the album. Yeah, probably. DaBaby's verse was good. That's the one thing I do like about Conniff.
Starting point is 01:36:53 He brought the features out and they came to perform. I didn't feel like any of the features really phoned in. That's true. All the features I thought slapped. I thought the Lauryn Hill influence was cool, even though it was from an old track. Yeah, I thought Lauryn was going to be on it. I was waiting for her verse because and she's back out she was on naz's album i was like okay maybe she's back out rapping now yeah i couldn't i was waiting for that shit and then
Starting point is 01:37:13 i was disappointed i also hated the censoring too yeah because now you're making me add in the n words i'm like i think it goes there i don't know but like you're making me do all the work being like i don't know if that rhymes with the figure like that. Now I got to add it into the song. That made me uncomfortable, Kanye. Yeah, I didn't like it. I didn't even notice the censoring shit, to be honest. I didn't like it.
Starting point is 01:37:34 I thought I was listening to a censored version. You know how they have the explicit? That's what I thought, too. And I went back and saw them. But then he goes, yo, shout out to the throat goats. And that was a censor. I was like, all right. I mean, shout out to them throat goats and that was a sensor i was like all right yeah shout out to them i don't know what do you think again yo sonically like uh or like music wise i
Starting point is 01:37:54 remember you saying on one of his last albums you were like it just doesn't even sound good like musically i thought this did it seemed like he took his time more so in that sense if you want to say kanye is back yeah cool but as a rapper it's just like not really there's not he's not rapping that great on it and also i think it's weird to beef with drake where it's like if you're kanye you seem to be moving away from rap why are you going at this rapper and making this a competitive thing your whole point with fashion with fashion is i want to make fashion that is universally acceptable and these white people are the gatekeepers. But then when it comes to your music, you're still competing with the black guy in the rap genre that you say you're above competition for.
Starting point is 01:38:31 Like you're past this, dude. And Drake is probably going to smoke you. But like, I think the Drake angle is weird. I think when he dropped it, and this is why I think he doesn't have faith in the album. He dropped it and then said, oh, Universal put out my music without my permission. That should have. So if people say it's whack, you could be like, oh, but they didn't have my permission.
Starting point is 01:38:47 Because the internet wasn't really fucking with it early on, at least. Yeah. Initial reaction on Academics page, and they do this pretty much everybody, but L, L, L, L.
Starting point is 01:38:54 Yeah. And then I see a post from him, oh, Universal didn't have my permission. Yeah. And then all the people that got left off was interesting, too. Soulja Boy was upset
Starting point is 01:39:02 he got left off, and the text messages are there with Kanye saying, like, yo, I love you, you you're a genius send me a verse soldier boy there's a screenshot of the verse and then he's just not anywhere on the album what about um fuck what was his face uh donald glover is that his name yeah i'm glad that i'm influential yeah what does that mean i don't know necessarily i don't know if he was talking about like one of his like flows being bit by Kanye. I wasn't sure exactly.
Starting point is 01:39:26 I mean, he didn't really come out and specify. Everybody was all salty, man. I mean, I think Chris Brown was tweeting some shit or posted on Instagram. You seen that? Yeah, that's the only one I don't know why he was upset. Because he was probably left off too. But I'm wondering, do these people not know Kanye well enough? Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:39:42 I think that they think they're above that. They're above being passed on what i thought would be dope is if because kanye kind of did it like he had marilyn manson he had the baby right and if he had chris brown like what if he took all these people like if he's really about that forgiveness shit he's really about that jesus making uncool shit cool yeah or no no he used to be mr unc. Now, what if he's about forgiveness and rebirth? Like, truly about Jesus. And he takes all these people that have done fucked up things in their lives and was like, yo, here's the forgiveness song.
Starting point is 01:40:16 Or be part of this. This is about rebirth. I fucked up. I was on that red hat shit. And I was doing all these things. And I was living this crazy life. And that was fucked up. I shouldn that red hat shit and i was doing all these things and i was living this crazy life and that was fucked up i shouldn't have done it and now he's truly using the power of jesus to help these people be you know rebranded and forgiven for their transgressions
Starting point is 01:40:33 like i thought that would i thought that's what he was trying to do so and then you know breezy not on it i guess not everybody gets forgiven you know like it is oh it's kind of interesting so the donald glover thing people are pointing out that his album 31520 was just a white album cover. OK. Whereas Donald was just a black album cover. All right, guys, we take a break for a second because they're going to make sure your skin looks good. OK, this is it. This is something that men do not take care of.
Starting point is 01:40:57 We don't think we have to. We just let our skin go to shit. It's simple as that. I'll turn into fucking Clint Eastwood by 40 years old. It's bullshit. OK. shit. It's simple as that. I'll turn into fucking Clint Eastwood by 40 years old. It's bullshit. Okay? And thank God, geology has stepped in and decided to make a product for us that
Starting point is 01:41:09 we can use that is nice and simple. We're not going to do what women do. We're not going to have 10 different fucking serums that we put all over our face. We got droplets on our eyelashes, something for our nostrils, another thing for our lips. We're not going to fucking do it. You have to make it simple and that's exactly what they did. Look at it right here. Okay. Face wash. They give you two the same
Starting point is 01:41:28 one for the shower, one for the sink. Cause you know, damn well, if it's in the shower and I'm at the sink, I'm not going in there to get it. And if it's off the sink and I'm in a shower, I'm not going out to get, they know that we are stubborn. They know we're not going to do it. Then we have the creams one for the night, one for the morning. Okay. That's simple. They also got something for under the eyes if you want to. Look how easy that is. They make it easy. And I know what you're thinking.
Starting point is 01:41:48 How could this be one set of creams and washes for every single person? It's not. It's not. You could take a test. They're going to find out what type of skin you have, and they're going to make sure they curate that for you. You're getting the thing that your skin needs. That simple. Okay?
Starting point is 01:42:03 And not only that, we're gonna hook your fucking ass up when you're out there looking great, looking sexy, skin looking smooth and just glowing, all right? You know how we're gonna hook you up? You're gonna go to geology.com. That is G-E-O-L-O-G-I-E.com
Starting point is 01:42:17 and use the promo code flagrant and you're gonna get 70% off a trial subscription. I just said 70, 7-0% off a trial subscription. You know said 70. 70% off a trial subscription. You know how confident a brand needs to be to give you that much of a discount knowing that your ass is going to stay
Starting point is 01:42:31 subscribed? That's a brand that has had over 4,000 five-star customer reviews with an average customer rating of 4.8 out of 5. They've been recognized by Men's Health, Esquire, Ask Men, Grooming Words, all that stuff, but most importantly, by Dove, the truffle pig.
Starting point is 01:42:48 Okay? The truffle is all in. He loves it, and the skin is immaculate, I'm telling you. And if they're the reason why his hands are so soft, I swear to God, I'll buy into the company right now. Something really special is happening, okay? Akashi, we're going to say something. We're all using this.
Starting point is 01:43:03 Obviously, we're all using this. But is it Truffle approved? Absolutely. Truffle told us about it. Truffle told us. Listen, I'm telling you. Because Drew and I actually were introduced by a doctor that was in his 50s. Dude looked like early 40s.
Starting point is 01:43:15 And Andrew literally asked him, why do you look that young? And he put us onto this. But the thing I like about it is simple. I know I can go to the fucking dermatologist and I can get 50 different sprays and shit that I put on. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it every single day i'm a man shit has to be simple it has to be convenient they understand it they curated this for us to use so we can look amazing god bless it fellas go out there do it and ladies if you're listening right now get your man on it get your man on it he deserves it he deserves to glow as well okay geology.com. Promo
Starting point is 01:43:45 code FLAGOR. It's 70% off a trial subscription. You are welcome. Now let's get back to the show, okay? Whereas Donna was just a black album cover. So people are like, that's one similarity. What was the white album for the Beatles? What kind of cover was that? Was that not just the one? I think it was white and then it just said the white album at the bottom of the thing.
Starting point is 01:44:01 This was just a white square and a black square. No black square. No blue square. Drake needs that blue square. Let's go, Drake. What the hell have you got? I also thought the album cover was kind of weird, too. Like, I don't really get why.
Starting point is 01:44:16 I didn't even see the album. I don't know. It just seemed weird. Like, the album's named after his mother. Like, the woman he loves the most in his life. And he's like, what's the album cover? Black square. He's like, what can I do that would remind me of my mom like she was black i guess it's close like come on dude yeah i don't know i'm just unenthused maybe there was something nothing that he could do that would
Starting point is 01:44:36 come close to his admiration i think he's a little too far gone i don't think we're ever gonna have the genius that we think kanye is like he comes close to it but it's still just i don't think we're ever going to have the genius that we think Kanye is. Like, he comes close to it, but it's still just, I don't think he got it anymore. Like, I think he's a little bit too far off. Yeah, I don't think he was ever, he was a brilliant musician,
Starting point is 01:44:55 but this genius shit that we put on him, I guess he put it on himself, but then we bought into it. We were idiots. The whole time I was like, this guy's just bipolar. What are we doing? Of course, I'm speaking musically.
Starting point is 01:45:05 But I'm just saying, I don't even think he's going to make that great music like he was once able to make. That's also the line with Crazy and Genius, though. It flips so quick because they're so close to each other. You know what I mean? The guy that does the genius shit. Conor McGregor is a crazy person now. When he was winning, he was a genius.
Starting point is 01:45:22 That's what I'm saying. He's doing the same behavior. He's just not winning. And maybe he was always doing this behavior. Maybe he was always tweeting these things. Maybe he was always he was a genius that's what i'm saying he's doing the same behavior he just doesn't he's just not winning and we maybe maybe he was always doing this behavior maybe he's always tweeting these things maybe he's always saying he was and now that i i think it's a little bit extra now he's more desperate i think he's more desperate but when he was saying when he was winning he wasn't desperate he was the king yeah the king says whatever the fuck king wants yeah yeah yeah but that's everyone anyone that takes a crazy risk and then it works out they're genius and if it doesn't work out,
Starting point is 01:45:45 you're crazy. So it's like, he's in his crazy spot. But if he comes out with another album later that smacks, then everyone's like, oh yeah, he's a genius again.
Starting point is 01:45:52 Yeah, that's the thing with music. You're just forgiven once it's good. Yeah. It is the most intoxicating form of content. A great song is a great song. It gets inside you in a way.
Starting point is 01:46:03 It does, man. A joke doesn't get stuck in my head. I'm not fucking saying jokes to myself walking down the street. Music, man. I don't need anything. I'm there. Yeah. Now, would you see him if he comes live to New York?
Starting point is 01:46:14 No interest. Really? Zero. I gotta see it live. Especially from what you just said. The only reason I want to is because of what you said. Before that, I've never seen a Kanye show. Zero interest.
Starting point is 01:46:23 Nah, son. You should go just to see him put on a show. Oh, that's fine. Because what you want to do now is what you said. Before that, I've never seen a Kanye show. Zero interest. You should go just to see him put on a show. Because what you want to do now is put on shows. Yeah, but continue seeing it. No, I thought it was mid. Oh, really? It's kind of cool. I've liked every Kanye show I've gone to.
Starting point is 01:46:37 He puts so much effort into it. I was just standing for a long time. My back gets hurt. Let me sit down. Why do I have to stand? What's going on right now? Everybody fucks. It takes you an hour and a half. You don't like live music.
Starting point is 01:46:54 That's what it is. No, I like live music, but start it. Start it. You're going to make people stand for three hours and then you come on? Start it. If you want to make people wait, at least let them sit down. Bring some seating. Oh, so you were mad because he was late?
Starting point is 01:47:09 Son, I once, what was that fat girl that used to sing a lot? No, not fat. You didn't narrow it down at all. Weird girl from, like, Australia, New Zealand or some shit. Huh? Remember? She was, like, weird a bit. Bjork?
Starting point is 01:47:19 Nah. See it? Nah, nah, nah, nah. Anna Gatsby. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. She was kind of popping for a little bit. Lord? Lord.
Starting point is 01:47:27 Oh, Lord's Max. Her new shit is fire. Oh, but she's not fat. Not at all fat. Nah, she wasn't fat. Nah. She was like 12. Yeah, she was 12.
Starting point is 01:47:35 You were thinking 12. Yeah. Nah, nah, but like I remember watching one of her shows. Like a girl I was with back in the day. Wanted to see her live. And like, I'm like standing for an hour and a half before she even comes on and i'm like yeah this is not it yeah like this is crazy how do you stand for an hour and a half it's a young people's game down like why can't we just sit if i'm sitting i'm good everything's
Starting point is 01:47:57 fine people stepping on my fucking sneakers for an hour and a half you're gonna get your sneakers stepped on for an hour and a half before Kanye comes on. Sing some trash songs. The best part of the fucking whole concert are the features. They're not going to be there. Like, why would anybody go to this? Everybody's going, yo, the features are the best part. I can't wait to see the live show. Who's there?
Starting point is 01:48:17 I'm sure some of them will come through. Not all of them. If he does the garden. There's 26 features at the fucking thing. Yeah, he can't have everybody. If he does the garden. The big ones, yeah. But if you think the features are all pulling up to Indianapolis, you're out your goddamn mind, bro. does the garden. There's 26 features at the fucking thing. Yeah, he can't have everybody. If he does the garden. The big ones, yeah, but if you think the features
Starting point is 01:48:25 are all pulling up to Indianapolis, you're out your goddamn mind, bro. But the garden also has seats. Not where, when he does the pit. When I was there, I saw him at the garden and he had the pit.
Starting point is 01:48:34 And I was fucking exhausted. I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah. Let's go, let's go. Rap it up. Nah, Drake's in a good place, though. Drake gotta do it, right? Yeah, and he's in a great place.
Starting point is 01:48:45 Like, oh, I get to hear the album. I get to see what people like, don't like about it. I can still make tweaks to mine. I can have some bars coming at you now. He's going to come out with, like, club bangers that everyone's going to listen to. Be like, oh, this is cool. And it's just going to be better. Because it's going to be kind of different.
Starting point is 01:49:00 Like, the listening experience is going to be different. I don't know if he's going to innovate in the way Kanye tried to innovate. It's not going to be as, like, unique. But I think the songs are it's gonna be consistently mmm yeah just give me some bangers bangers like a sit down to it you were at the gym by sitting down you know you were driving sitting down you want a flight sitting down sit down Make sit down music Yeah What's up with all this
Starting point is 01:49:26 Stand up music bro All these shenanigans Like the kids and their stand up Why are these kids standing all the time Both of them 40 years old Why they making stand up music Yeah Like think about
Starting point is 01:49:36 You know what If I'm standing up In the concert Everybody stay seated That's that fire shit If I'm No no no Everybody get comfortable
Starting point is 01:49:44 Exactly No no no Just for the weight Cross your legs Just for the weight That's what fire shit. Everybody get comfortable. Cross your legs. Just for the weight. That's what I'm saying. It's just for the weight. I'm okay. Once you're out there playing the music, I'm ready to go. Let's rip.
Starting point is 01:49:56 But I'm not going to do it after an hour and a half of already standing. Just show up late, bro. Yeah, I know. Just show up late. Because you know there's always opening acts. Yeah. You never did a show before. You could have just sat. You could have just sat.
Starting point is 01:50:04 There was never an opening act For Kanye Yes it was Not at Pablo It was just Pablo So you just sat And sat No no no
Starting point is 01:50:11 That doesn't make sense What doesn't make sense So you were there You were just sitting Standing in silence For an hour and a half Like nothing was going on Nah I guess
Starting point is 01:50:20 They were playing some shit Yeah the opening act Was playing You just probably Weren't paying attention Did you see Pablo There was never There was an opening act was playing. You just probably weren't paying attention. Did you see Pablo? There was no opening act. No, I saw the one before that one.
Starting point is 01:50:29 They were just playing music or some shit, but there was no opening act. It was just him. And remember, there was a stage that moves across. Yeah. That was Pablo, right? Yes. Yeah. So yeah, there was no opening act.
Starting point is 01:50:38 We were just sitting there in a fucking pit, just staring up at the bottom of his fucking sneakers. Yeah. You got to sit on someone's shoulders or something sucks that's where you gotta tap someone you're with be like yo can i climb up yeah i would i would literally do that at that point i found a wall and i just leaned out like you're at akash's wedding bro let me lean i was literally just like anything damn connie's got four more laps like that's the thing i'm okay to stand if the music is playing, we're all dancing and partying.
Starting point is 01:51:07 But I'm not standing for an hour and a half before and then standing the whole fucking time. That's too much. That's too much. I didn't know that. Nothing goes over an hour and a half until it comes up. I was looking to find one of them seats that you could take with you to shit. You know, it's like you could fold it up. Oh, yeah. WWE chair? Nah. It's almost like a tripod, but I got a little seat. Yeah. seats that you could like take with you to shit you know it's like you could fold it up oh yeah
Starting point is 01:51:25 nah like uh it's almost like a tripod but i got a little seat yeah like a monopod i could sit on yeah i got you that's far yeah all right next all right what else we got ronaldo yeah soccer fans i know everybody in europe i know how much y'all love our soccer take so here we go oh yeah we're we're the experts on soccer yeah we know everything our soccer take, so here we go, bro. Oh, yeah. We're the experts on soccer. We know everything about soccer, alright? So here we go. You want to hear some hard soccer bars? Here it is. Ronaldo is going to Arsenal.
Starting point is 01:51:54 Yeah! Yeah, Arsenal! The Brazilians are in fucking England again, dude. We got it. The Brazilians are there. We've been waiting for so long for Ronaldo to finally go to Arsenal and play under Werner Braun. Van Braun.
Starting point is 01:52:13 Eva Braun. What is it? Eva Braun. Eva Braun is the first soccer coach in the history of football for Arsenal. And Ronaldinho is going to win him the championship. Ronaldinho. We're not all those nicknames, Ronaldinho. Sometimes Ronaldinho got that shit. So it's going to be crazy, bro.
Starting point is 01:52:32 I think he's got to be the best midfielder they've ever had, right? I think he's a goalie. Oh, he's a goalie. That's my bad. He is an unstoppable person. He scores all the goals. He's a goalie. He's a goalie.
Starting point is 01:52:42 Beckham was a little bit better. Say what? Beckham was a little bit better. He was better goalie. He's a goalie. Beckham was a little bit better. Say what? Beckham was a little bit better. He was better goalie? Yeah. He was better. He was definitely better. Ronaldo's number two.
Starting point is 01:52:50 Ronaldo is playing on Berlin. Okay. FC Berlin. Oh, okay. I like it. Ah, Bundesliga. The Bundesliga. He's in the Bundesliga.
Starting point is 01:53:01 Okay. He's down there for real. Yeah. No, no, no, no. He's playing for Manchester United. Yeah. He's down there for real. Yeah. No, no, no, no. He's playing for Manchester United. Yeah. Okay. Why do people care?
Starting point is 01:53:11 Maybe some people might care because if he wins a championship with Manchester United, then I think that puts him ahead of Messi. It's a higher level league than the French league. I guess the top tier leagues are the champ. What is it called? The PL? No, no. The La Liga, Spain.
Starting point is 01:53:35 Okay. Yeah. Syria and Italy. Syria and Italy. And then English Premier League. Yeah. Yeah. And League One is up there as far as like PSG and shit.
Starting point is 01:53:44 But it's not. It's like this Liga. It goes Bundesliga. Then the French League. Yeah, EPL. And League One is up there as far as like PSG and shit. But it's not. It's like... Bundesliga. It goes Bundesliga, then the French League. Because how many teams are there even in the French League? Like, there's like one. I mean, there's a legacy team that always wins. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:53:55 So it's just like you go to play for like the Brooklyn Nets. You're basically going to join Kevin Durant and all these people at the Nets for the best. And imagine there was no other teams in the league that you even play against. So the Messi thing isn't a really big challenge, but Manchester United is not a team that's been killing it, right? They've been doing okay. They're middle of the field.
Starting point is 01:54:15 So if you take them and you win the championship with them, you might have to say that Ronaldo's the best, bro. How good is he still? He's a legend. He's amazing. I mean, how good is he at this moment?
Starting point is 01:54:30 For his age, he's like mid-30s, and he's still like... Not for his age, just like against all players. Relative to other players, where is he? Is he LeBron in the NBA? Yeah, he's probably LeBron, I'd say. Oh, wow. I know he's still nice. So he's still top five. Still goal scorer.
Starting point is 01:54:40 I think he led Juventus in goals last year. Any team he goes to, he's an animal. So did he leave the Spanish team because Messi left a Spanish team? No, he was playing for an Italian team. Oh, okay. So it's just the craziest transfer window also, too. This transfer window that you have Messi moving, Mbappe might be moving. I heard he wants out Mbappe.
Starting point is 01:55:03 Yeah, that's still a transfer window. He's going to leave rumor he's gonna leave bum nah he scored two goals in Messi's debut and then fucking blew it yeah I mean you got some bad games
Starting point is 01:55:13 sometimes nah he's a bum sometimes you forget to press record like you know people have bad games that's just what it is fuck you man
Starting point is 01:55:19 no but like so he might be going to Real Madrid which would be just like a crazy transfer window you have three of the best players that are playing, like three of the top 10 that are all switching teams,
Starting point is 01:55:29 going to different leagues all in the same window right before the Champions League to like shake up. Hey, soccer fans, welcome to American football. This happens every fucking year. Get used to it. The NBA, dog. NBA more. Not even close.
Starting point is 01:55:44 American football is much more. Talent moving around? Yeah, no. It's definitely NBA. No. You can just put a franchise tag on a guy in the NFL and he didn't really go anywhere. Like a big quarterback never really leaves. Really. Like a couple of times in the past five, six
Starting point is 01:56:00 years. I feel like every year there's a big fucking trade in football. Or big movement of players. Every year. Like Kevin Durant going, James Harden going to the Nets. That was in two years. Kyrie Irving. That was three players in two years to one team.
Starting point is 01:56:13 This is like if Dak Prescott, Tom Brady, Patrick Mahomes all switched teams. Yeah. All the same window. And then to different leagues on top of that right before Champions League. It's just wild. It's just interesting to see the shakeup. But are the teams that they went to in the Champions League? Yeah. They're in the Champions League. It's just interesting to see the shakeup. But are the teams that they went to in the Champions League? Yeah, they're in the
Starting point is 01:56:28 Champions League. It's like unheard of. It's never happened. It would be like if back in the day, LeBron James and Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh all left their teams and then one played on the same team. But Champions League is different. Can you eat that later? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:56:45 Sorry, Laurent. You sound so jet lagged. You're eat that later? Yeah. Sorry, Laurent. You sound so jet lagged. You're going to shit the couch. Stop. Shit the chair. So, Champions League, explain Champions League, Mark.
Starting point is 01:56:55 I mean, it's just basically cross competition with all the leagues. So, all the biggest leagues, all the players. Oh, it's basically the best teams of all the other leagues
Starting point is 01:57:02 play in one league. The World Cup of the club teams. Okay. Yeah. All right. Basically. So it's like, yes, Paris PSG, Paris Saint-Germain,
Starting point is 01:57:11 whatever the team that Messi's playing on. Yes, they're going to play in the Champions League, but the rest of the teams they're playing regularly aren't as good as the teams that Real Madrid would be playing against or Manchester United or maybe even juventus right i mean how many syria teams are like legit legit three yeah three four three four so it's just i guess that's what makes a league itself yeah you know really good and sg didn't even win last year that was leal so yeah all respect to and then the other thing that's
Starting point is 01:57:40 interesting is that he's going back to manu which is the team that like he sort of made his bones at and started at. There was funny things. I thought he started there. I didn't want to sound like a moron, but I thought he started there. He started there. He started in Portugal, but yeah. I mean, he started with Lisbon FC, but then was a star
Starting point is 01:57:54 and became a star with Alex Ferguson at Man U. And then there were trade rumors. And they burnt his fucking jersey, son. Yeah, they were pissed. And then he went back. And did you hear the shit about there was rumors he was going to go to Manchester City? The Man City thing apparently is the whole thing that provoked them to put in the offer. But apparently Man U didn't even really have major intentions to try to scoop him up.
Starting point is 01:58:12 Yeah. Like, as far as, like, because they actually, I checked the numbers. They finished sixth in 2019. But in 2020, they were, like, top of the table. So they've been, like, top five pretty much for the last, like, few years. So they've been good. But so they didn't really need a Ronaldo as far as their budgets and salaries and their current roster.
Starting point is 01:58:27 But they were like, we're going to make a push for him because we can't stand to potentially see him with our rival at Man City. But it's kind of interesting because when I was first playing FIFA when I was younger, the soccer game, that's the only way I know anything about soccer.
Starting point is 01:58:39 Man City was not a nice team. It was Manchester United. That was the fucking team. Who was that bald motherfucker who was kind of nice? White boy. From Man U? Yeah. Back in the day.
Starting point is 01:58:51 I don't remember. And then he came over and played in the MLS for a little bit. And then he got his hair plugs. And now he's got some hair. White British guy. Played for Man U. I'm looking it up. Hmm.
Starting point is 01:59:03 Nice. Striker. Hmm. Nice. Striker. I remember that. Black French dude that came to play for LA. And then Beckham. Wait, Henri? Yeah. Thierry Henri?
Starting point is 01:59:15 Didn't he play for... I think he played for New York... Yeah, he was Arsenal and went to the Rebels. Yeah, yeah. But so Manchester United was that team. I think there was a guy that played for me. I'm almost positive. What the fuck is that guy's name?
Starting point is 01:59:25 White boy. He got hair plugs. There's a video of him getting knocked out too, fighting with a friend. Really? He got hair plugs. Definite hair plugs. He was like a super celebrity. I didn't notice.
Starting point is 01:59:35 I don't know. British guy. Wayne Rooney? Wayne Rooney. He wasn't bald. He wasn't bald? He was. He had crazy receding hairline, but he wasn't bald.
Starting point is 01:59:42 That's bald, son. What the fuck are we talking about over here? Yeah, Wayne Rooney. Y'all know nothing about soccer. There's a couple of us bald in this room. If you consider that. Okay, so, but, so yeah, so like Manchester United was nice. Man City comes out.
Starting point is 01:59:57 They all of a sudden become nice. Manchester United do nothing. Fucking Man City got all the sandpaper. They got all the what? Sandpaper. That's what they call the Saudi money? Yeah, it's the oil money, bro. It all the sandpaper. They got all the what? Sandpaper. That's what they call the Saudi money? Yeah, it's oil money, bro. It's sandpaper.
Starting point is 02:00:07 It's sandpaper. What? I don't know. It just sounds fucked up. It's sandpaper, dog. But Manchester United was bought, oh, by a Russian oligarch. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 02:00:16 So, yeah, they both got their billionaires. They're just different places. Yeah. But Man City starts balling out, right? So, Man City, the rumors are that Ronaldo is going to go to Man City starts balling out, right? So Man City, the rumors are that Ronaldo is going to go to Man City. And people that are Manchester United fans start going, fuck Ronaldo. He's over the hill. Fuck him.
Starting point is 02:00:32 There's all these memes and shit. They're going crazy. And then it comes out that Manchester United actually signs him. All the exact same people like, he's here. He's got three years left. Don't worry. We love him. Blah, blah, blah. he's here he's got three years left don't worry we love him so it's funny to see like the loyalty to club that exists within football yeah like i feel like now in american sports like we're loyal
Starting point is 02:00:53 to players a lot more like especially everywhere especially nba and probably because it's so transient yeah but like but with soccer like i was in barcelona motherfuckers with fans in barcelona didn't even know the players on the team. If you asked them, name eight players on the team, they could not name eight players. But they were diehard bleed. What is it? The blue, red, and yellow, whatever the fuck it is. Bro, people have died, literally died in fights for teams that have never won a league.
Starting point is 02:01:22 Oh, yeah. People are fighting for their life for a team that's trash. Yeah. And they're like, y'all die for this shit. It's like, all right. It's so stupid. All right, but... That hooligan culture is crazy.
Starting point is 02:01:30 Who's Jaden Sancho? My brother-in-law says he's a young kid who's nice on Manchester U. I don't know. Oh, you don't know? Okay. But they said, like, he has... So Manchester U, apparently,
Starting point is 02:01:40 they've been getting a lot of young talent. And so he's going to, I guess, be the elder to come in and, like, help him out and shit like that. he's gonna i guess be the elder smith to come in and like help him out and shit like that he ain't gonna be the help him out no no he's gonna be i'm taking control yeah i think he's still like he's the man and sometimes it's hard to work you know to play with the man all right like that's something you got to be careful that's a risk like i guess you hope that playing with a guy like ronaldo you see his work ethic you see not only his talent but his dedication and that rubs off on the younger players yeah he's one of those guys it's like i'm sleeping eight hours i'm working out twice a day
Starting point is 02:02:12 i only drink water like that was the whole coca-cola thing he was like fuck coke we don't drink coke water only like he's like treating his body like lebron shit yeah yeah yeah okay and i should be looking like a temple he's a he's a piece. Nah, he's a fucking piece. It's unbelievable. I'll bend my knee at the altar. So that's the thing. Like, I guess you hope some of that rubs off. You just got to hope that he's not like a Jordan type where he's breaking these little
Starting point is 02:02:37 motherfuckers because they're not getting him the ball in the positions that he wants it. That's the risk is that you have this young kid who's been watching ronaldo play his entire life and his dream is to play just like ronaldo and now they're playing the same team and now he's shook he's frozen because not every one of these young bucks is going to be like kairi where they want to go right at him there's going to be some of these young bucks that are like i can't believe i'm playing with ronaldo yeah because he's jordan right yeah like they're playing with fucking jordan yeah there's people that are, I started playing just because of you.
Starting point is 02:03:05 Yeah. Now we're on the same team. Yeah. Wow. And they would never think that they would be able to. They're like, he's not coming back
Starting point is 02:03:11 to Manchester. Yeah. Yeah. There's no way. I'm shocked he's doing it. Like not even because he could come play in the US and get a piece of a team
Starting point is 02:03:18 and whatever. But because you've been to London. Literally the weather. How did I know this? I thought about this. I was like why would you do this
Starting point is 02:03:26 you're in the twilight of your career you could be in Italy you could be in Spain you could come play in Los Angeles where they take so many naps there
Starting point is 02:03:35 and shit like that why would you leave a place they probably got more chairs in Spain English women have you never seen a girl in England bro what are you doing
Starting point is 02:03:42 like jeez Manchester dog Manchester just feels colder. It's more north. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? If you're not playing in London. Like, what are you doing?
Starting point is 02:03:52 Why? Nothing like New York. Nothing like that. So don't come here. Yeah, but at least New York is New York. Outside of London, England is fucking rednecks, dog. Manchester, I've never been, but I went to fucking Birmingham, and it was like, y'all some yokels out here yo
Starting point is 02:04:05 nah but they still got some hood spots yeah they got hood spots too fucking yokels there too bro man yokels in this bitch what's a yokel? it's a fucking country ass dude you a yokel bro I never heard of that term
Starting point is 02:04:20 you were just talking about going to London London is I said outside of London I was like that'd be a good business move but i don't know if it's the move that we're gonna make you know just because of the language but yeah i don't i don't know man he got all the money in the world what the fuck you want to just be in the in the clouds bro like nah dude he wants to be the best he wants to be great say what he wants to be great he wants to win the eps athletes wants to be great. Say what? He wants to be great. He wants to win the EPL. Relatively to athletes, we would know he seems like Kobe. Maybe, yeah.
Starting point is 02:04:49 Like super focused, this dedicated, I'm not fucking around. Kobe's playing in LA. Kobe's a man of the trade. He's like, I'm not going to be in Cleveland. Kobe, what, a Charlotte? He was the Hornets, bro. Yeah, he was the Hornets, right? He's like, I'm not doing this shit.
Starting point is 02:05:03 Get me to Los Angeles. Yeah. Son, no. That's a good point. I'm not doingets, bro. Yeah, he was the Hornets, right? He's like, I'm not doing this shit. Get me to Los Angeles. Yeah. Son, no. That's a good point. I'm not doing it, bro. If I'm him, I'm not doing it. If he wins with this team, he's like legit the best? Like, is it on some Brady shit?
Starting point is 02:05:16 If he takes another team to it, he's the GOAT? I mean, it's always up for debate. Like, we'll see what Messi does with PSG. I mean, they're also the most stacked team ever. Who? PSG. Yeah, PSG's so stacked, so it's like if Messi wins, like, it don't count.
Starting point is 02:05:27 Shut the fuck up, son. He did. Name eight players on their team. Mbop. Mbop. Nah, he's a bum, man. He went from my favorite player to being a bum just because he let his team down. Yeah, he's a bum, but they got Mbop. They got, um... Neymar. They got Neymar. Don't help him.
Starting point is 02:05:44 They got Ribéry Is that right? They got the Scarface They got the motherfucking Bond villain Yeah you really did play FIFA I respect that That's an old school
Starting point is 02:05:55 FIFA deep cut Nah he played for Munich Nah he plays for PSG now He plays for PSG now They got Santos They got the motherfucker That plays defense for Real Madrid. It's so funny.
Starting point is 02:06:07 This is only funny to most. They got Sergio Ramos. This is only funny to me. It's like, you name a guy, he's like, oh my God. There's some fucking Mexican that's dying laughing right now. There's a Mexican kid listening
Starting point is 02:06:17 that's dying laughing. They got Chicharito. Yeah, yeah. They got Chicharito. They got Alex Ferguson. They got Alex Ferguson. They got Alex Ferguson. That motherfucker nice with it. They got Pele.
Starting point is 02:06:32 They got... Shit. Kyrie. Alexi Lawless out there. They got Alexi Lawless playing for them. They got Tim Howard as goalie. They got Tim Howard
Starting point is 02:06:42 as goalie. Oh, I know him. He's nice. They got Samuel Eto'o. They got Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda. That just fills up the rest of the roster. Donda, Donda, and Donda. And Freddie Adu, and that's the whole team.
Starting point is 02:06:55 They got Freddie. Yo, Freddie Adu is playing. Is that your favorite player? My favorite player of all time is Freddie Adu. Where? Yes. Who was? Five foot, four inch, 37-year-old Freddie Adu.
Starting point is 02:07:06 37-year-old high school senior this is american soccer legend you don't remember freddie adieu i went to chosen one i met him at a soccer camp bro yeah did you ball on his ass he was supposed to be my age yeah that motherfucker was 74 years old yeah dude did you ball in his ass or what no he was the coach of the camp oh he was coaching? Yeah, it was Freddie to do soccer camp. Oh, he was one of those? That's why I became a legend. Damn.
Starting point is 02:07:30 That's why you ain't make it, dog. You're into the wrong soccer. You need a different soccer. His advice was like, yo, be born in 1980. And I was like, god damn it. You should have did that. Be a decade older than all the high school kids are playing. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:07:40 It's actually good advice if you could do it, but most people don't want it that best. That's where it's tricky. It's actually good advice if you could do it But most people don't want it that bad But yeah I think that I think Alexi Lawless Is gonna have an amazing season bro Do you know who Alexi Lawless is dude? You don't know who that is?
Starting point is 02:07:56 Legend dog You don't know anything You're gonna really struggle in Europe honestly You don't know Alexi Lawless? You don't know Alexi Lawless and his all sport commercials? That thirst quencher back in the day you tried to advertise for? You don't know Alexi Lawless? You don't know about Alexi Lawless and his All Sport commercials? Was that fucking powered? That thirst quencher back in the day you tried to advertise for? You don't know Mia Hamm?
Starting point is 02:08:10 You're fucked, dude. You don't know Mia Hamm? That sounds familiar. Yeah. She had a little ass on her, right? No, she had no ass on her whatsoever. Yeah, she suffered from no ass at all. Nassital. You don't just say she suffered from no ass at all.
Starting point is 02:08:23 You don't just say it. That's how you said it to me. No, tall you said no as at all i said no so tall is no acid tall it's the disease that's what we call it the disease stupid nasa tall yeah nasa tall i heard she got nasa tall she got nasa tall um okay yo can we talk about this MLK Fortnite thing real quick? Yes, please. This shit is so funny. Fortnite basically does these virtual events. You know what Fortnite is, Al? He's trying so hard to be young.
Starting point is 02:08:55 I don't even play Fortnite. You're trying to be young, bro. You have a Fortnite character tattooed on your arm. Wait, you have a Fortnite character tattooed on your arm? Yes, he does. He's got MLK on his arm. He's trying to make a joke. There's some Mexicans dying laughing right now.
Starting point is 02:09:14 Go, go. Shift these in the mix. Let's go. Shift it. Just make sure he's fucking accurate. Be here to laugh at these references. He just Wikipedia'd this before he came in. You gotta make sure he's fucking accurate. Be here to laugh at these references. And don't knock over that fucking camera. He just Wikipedia'd this before he came in.
Starting point is 02:09:28 Alright, so basically Fortnite does these virtual events, right? Where they had like a Travis Scott concert. Is that the video game where you gotta like build scaffoldings? I mean, actually it is. You're thinking of Minecraft, but you actually do build scaffoldings. Nah, I think you build scaffoldings and then you like do a lot of jumping and shit. That is true. Yeah, yeah, that is true.
Starting point is 02:09:43 I thought that shit was SimCity. No, SimCity is where you build like actual jumping and shit. That is true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is true. I thought that shit was SimCity. No, SimCity is you build actual cities and shit like that. Overall, it's so true. Fortnite is you build scaffolding. Oh, Dove definitely played Sims as a kid. You fucking parachute in and shit like that. You have so many sisters. You can do dances in Fortnite, too.
Starting point is 02:09:55 So you dance and build scaffolding. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you steal dances from black kids, and then you do them in the game. It's not stealing and sharing. You don't think black kids play Fortnite, man? So this is TikTok. TikTok the video game.
Starting point is 02:10:09 Yeah. Oh, okay. So TikTok the video game. And basically they do these virtual events where you don't really like play on the map, but you can go and watch the event virtually. So they have like a concert? Travis Scott did a concert. Oh, old dork ass.
Starting point is 02:10:22 He wild dorky, yo. And the most recent one they did is they did a virtual playing of Martin Luther King's I have a dream speech on the steps
Starting point is 02:10:30 of the Lincoln Memorial oh man that would go wrong in Fortnite that's lit so all these kids that don't even know what the fuck
Starting point is 02:10:36 the I have a dream speech is they're from they're from Portugal they're not even from America they don't even know what's going on yeah it's a global game okay so they just pulled up
Starting point is 02:10:44 and so the funniest part of the whole shit, so obviously kids are just doing dances and shit in front of the memorial. He's talking and this kid's just fucking busting it out. And then the best part is that they took off. That is his dream, though, in a way, is white kids dancing with black kids. Holy shit.
Starting point is 02:10:56 That's a good point. Doing black dances, coming together. Holy shit. All right. But then on top of that, first off, MLK was a known pacifist. He was a nonviolence advocate. He hated the war in vietnam and he was a socialist and then literally fortnite is a capitalist violence game so i'm like i don't know this isn't necessarily but it's not real violence
Starting point is 02:11:16 it's a video game it's violent you're killing people with guns it's a video no but it's not real violence so i wish that was actually a setting where they got to you got to dress up as fbi in the game. And then if you shot him, okay, at least it would be accurate. You know what I mean? Chill out, bro. What? I'm saying he was assassinated by the FBI.
Starting point is 02:11:32 Is that not true? No. Who? Oh, CIA. Excuse me. Damn, you old motherfucker. I told you, Wikipedia. I don't even know if he was assassinated by the CIA.
Starting point is 02:11:41 I think they just let him die. What do you mean? That was the issue. You don't think CIA killed him? Who, Martin Luther King? Yeah. No, I think he was killed him die. That was the issue. You don't think CIA killed him? Martin Luther King? Yeah. No, I think he was killed by Lee Harvey Oswald. James Earl Ray. I actually know that one.
Starting point is 02:11:53 Who was he killed by? James Earl Ray. The motherfucker that played Star Wars. Oh, my God. Star Wars. Oh, shit. My bad. Damn, he was treating him like MLK.
Starting point is 02:12:06 Bro, geez. I shot you like the seat I had. Oh. Yo, son. Oh. Yo, son. Yo, son. Yo.
Starting point is 02:12:16 Yo. That's what you get, motherfucker. At least I hit this, so I didn't damage you. Yo, son. This is where my face is. I moved it up. I did it on purpose. I literally moved it up.
Starting point is 02:12:26 My aim is nice with it. You see my aim is nice. If I didn't move the mic, that shit would have hit me right in my face. These guys crazy, bro. You are crazy, son. You broke the monitor. Eye for an eye, son. It destroys shit.
Starting point is 02:12:37 It's Fortnite. Why would I talk about Martin Luther King? It's Fortnite. Martin Luther King said pacifism, bro. It's Fortnite. Why can't you just love each other? Hey, Miles, order another monitor. Miles, bring a monitor.
Starting point is 02:12:48 Why do we have the white man and the black man fighting? Why can't we just come together? Why do you have to throw shit at me? Why do you have to start it? I was just helping you out. Yeah, you know. Move it right here. I literally went like this.
Starting point is 02:12:59 I moved it up and it blocked it. I threw it right at the mic. There's no way. I threw it right at the mic. I aimed for the mic. All of that shit was coming mad fast. Yeah. You threw it as fast as I necessarily wanted. No, I didn't throw it as fast. It's no way. I threw it right at the mic. I aimed for the mic. Also, that shit was coming mad fast. Did you throw it as fast as that? No, I didn't throw it as fast.
Starting point is 02:13:07 It just sounded crazy because it bounced off that. Damn. And broke apart when it did. But how fast am I just to move it out of the way? No, you did actually have a shield. I don't know if you got a power-up from getting a loot box, but you definitely blocked that pretty good. I think I loot boxed it, dude.
Starting point is 02:13:19 I think I totally loot boxed it. This is hilarious. Okay. Why did that shit break so easy? This is hilarious. Why did that shit break so easy? This is hilarious. Why did that shit break? So that's great. I'm so glad it wasn't.
Starting point is 02:13:35 I'm just so glad it wasn't the fucking iMac. This guy's strong, man. That's what happens. I considered that, though. I considered that monitor would be fine to break. As long as I hit that monitor. Did you that monitor would be fine to break. As long as I hit that monitor. Did you miss Alan Burbis? No.
Starting point is 02:13:48 My head moving, son. Come on. I'm dancing. No, you did have a good head moving. Okay, so back to your story. Jake Paul. What historical event would you want to see as a virtual Fortnite event? I want to see that again.
Starting point is 02:13:59 That's what I want to see. That would be fire, actually. Where would I want to go for virtual Fortnite? Yeah, what event you want, historically? I would like to be at the play where Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. Oh, that would be a fire one. That would be sick. Because, you know, there's a few people that play like, man, this shit is boring as fuck.
Starting point is 02:14:19 You know what I'm saying? They're like, man, something happened, bro. Why do you always bring me this shit? My girl forced me to go to this goddamn play. Can something exciting happen? Please. And then seeing my man make the jump, you're like, yo. Yeah, that'd actually be sick.
Starting point is 02:14:34 Like that leap from the opera box was probably kind of dope. Yeah, the parkour front flip. It was the first parkour. Yeah, it was a front flip, I think. That was like next level Matrix, like Neo shit. Have you seen that? Oh, that TV's out It was the way I
Starting point is 02:14:47 It's a fucking Donda album cover now It really is bro Damn bro You are influential Donald Glover Yeah I know Thank you Donald Dude why did it give up now? Nothing else is happening
Starting point is 02:14:58 Why the whole shit gave up? I don't know What a bitch ass TV What is that LG? Cause you blasted. Well, let's go. What did you throw at it? You threw a lipstick at me.
Starting point is 02:15:10 That was lipstick? Yeah. Fucking blistex or whatever it was. You know what this is? This is, oh, you are good, son. What happened? That's just reminding me of my broken ass TV, son. You are good, son.
Starting point is 02:15:23 Oh, did we tell that story? Yeah, we did already. We told that story. Please, if anybody wants to swap out my TV ass TV. You are good, son. Did we tell that story? Yeah, we did already. We told that story. Please, if anybody wants to swap out my TV, fuck with your boy. I heard there's even more details to it. No, I heard Costco can do it. I heard there's even more details to it.
Starting point is 02:15:35 What? There's no new shit. I heard some good old shit, bro. I heard some good old shit. Well, Mark. This motherfucker making people do his dirty work oh I should
Starting point is 02:15:47 you should he wasn't he wasn't even making the call he wasn't even making the call
Starting point is 02:15:53 to see if it was gonna work he's an idea guy he's an idea guy I need to get my TV working oh yeah somebody make this
Starting point is 02:16:00 happen you won't let someone else get arrested for you this guy's a crazy motherfucker. Okay, anything else from this fortnight? Yeah, so the craziest part is that...
Starting point is 02:16:11 Remember when you were doing karaoke? Yo, remember you threw a hard thing at me? Like, you could have bruised my whole head. I threw it at the mic. I'm nice. My aim is nice. I moved the mic to protect my face. My aim is nice, bro.
Starting point is 02:16:24 Son, that was unbelievable timing. That was destiny. That's the noise that I made. Okay, go, go, go, go. So, because they knew that all these Fortnite kids were going to go crazy. Are you fucking serious? Yeah, I'm sure Al's life was almost taken from us.
Starting point is 02:16:44 It's kind of hard to come back from. I'm the victim. I'm the victim. Bro. Look at the mic. Look at the mic. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness.
Starting point is 02:16:51 I just put a little lipstick on it, bro. Nah, I put a little lipstick on it. Jeez, bro. You almost took his life. You see where it hits. The light spot is where it hit. Because I put a little lipstick. We'll see where it hit.
Starting point is 02:17:03 There's a dent on the mic. That's how hard you threw that. Damn. That's not for me. It hit right here. Where you see the shiny spot is where it hit. You threw that shit hard. You almost fixed his nose, bro.
Starting point is 02:17:16 Dude, that's fucked up. I would have fixed his nose. That's what I said. You literally dented the whole mic. That shit is actually dented, bro. I'm sorry. I thought you broke it. You literally dented the whole mic. That would have hurt me. That shit is actually dented, bro. I'm glad. I'm glad that I threw it that hard. You should have kept it in a way.
Starting point is 02:17:29 And I wish it hit you. You should have. Where's the top? Yeah, of course you wish it hit him. It broke your fucking monitor. Yeah, I know. That's stupid. We don't even know if the cameras are on anymore.
Starting point is 02:17:39 Okay, go, go, go. The camera might just be facing me. Tell us the craziest part of this Fortnite. Mark's been trying to tell us this for three hours. This stupid ass. Before the podcast, he's like, like we got something about this fortnight thing go go go all right so because they knew all the kids would be going crazy okay have you ever played like an xbox live chat room like you know that they need the fucking mlk speech but what they did is they took out all the tomato vending machines so you couldn't throw tomatoes and then on top of that they took
Starting point is 02:18:01 off most of the dancing emojis but there's one that they couldn't take off because it was a part of like a dc promotional thing that they were doing. So they had to keep it on for the month. And it was Catwoman's whip. No. There's no way. Oh, that's uncomfortable. There's no way.
Starting point is 02:18:15 So while they're doing the MLK speech, there's hundreds of kids running around going, I have a dream. Whoop-ah! And just smacking whips all over the whole time. I can't believe it. It's legit crazy that no one thought that through or they didn't call DC like, yo, maybe it'd be a bad look for the game or the movie
Starting point is 02:18:31 if we don't do this. There's no fucking way. Chip, is this real? Why does Catwoman got a whip? What does that have to do with cats? They got long tails. Yeah, but they don't use them for whipping. Not yet. They'd be swatting flies with them and shit, right? What, cats?
Starting point is 02:18:47 Long-ass tail? Yeah, you'd think they'd have Wolverine claws or something. Yeah. Yeah, I thought that was her shit. Why does she have a whip? Gotta have something else, I guess. I think it's a sexual thing. Yeah, it's a sexual thing.
Starting point is 02:18:58 What's the sexiest weapon we can give this girl? Yeah. I guess kids have to jerk off to. What DC movie came out? Catwoman, I guess. I don't know. Really? Apparently they did Catwoman or something. Oh. I guess kids have to jerk off to. And what DC movie came out? Catwoman, I guess. I don't know. Really? Apparently they did
Starting point is 02:19:06 Catwoman or something. Oh, I didn't hear that. Yeah, they had a collab with Catwoman. Oh my God. So they couldn't take off her whip. So literally MLK's
Starting point is 02:19:13 talking about racial justice. There's no fucking way, dude. Yo, Fortnite's kind of lit. Yo, it's lit, dude. It's a whole game for kids where you learn how to shoot people and you jump out of a school bus.
Starting point is 02:19:26 Wait, why do you jump out of a school bus? I don't know. But that's what they thought kids in America needed. It's like, yo, let's teach these kids how to shoot people out of a school bus. We do need that.
Starting point is 02:19:36 To self-defense at a certain point. Yeah. So I think they're responsible for all the shooting. How did I miss this game? How many buttons you got to use to play it? It's almost double digits, bro. You know what game? How many buttons you got to use to play it? It's almost double digits, bro. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 02:19:47 If you got to use the ones where your thumbs are on it at the same time. That's crazy. Two joysticks? Once Halo came out, I was done. I said, I'm not doing this.
Starting point is 02:19:55 I'm not doing this. You said, once a Halo came out. Once a Halo came out. I said, I'm out, bro. Halo is old, bro. That shit was for IBM. Came out in 2001.
Starting point is 02:20:06 That came out in 2001, bro. I was like 16. I was like, I'm done. I'm out. It's over, bro. I didn't even think they had the joysticks back then. Nah, you had to use one to move and then one to go up, down. Halo came out before 9-11, I think.
Starting point is 02:20:19 That's too much. That was Xbox first game. That's too much. I don't know why you got to make this a racial thing, Mark. I know. Why'd you got to do that, son? I didn't like it either way. You know what I mean? Hey, that's... Wait why 9-11 yeah that's that racist guy bringing up
Starting point is 02:20:29 9-11 to me you know i mean for what out of nowhere bro indians had nothing to do with 9-11 yeah you're not how do you not you don't know anything about that hey look i'm talking about you floridians members man that's what i'm saying be sensitive ah gosh yeah it's on you now that felt racial to me yo we gotta lose an mlk dude let's get on fortnite right now can we do the dances never no come on no that shit came out we're like 33 we're streaming bro we're streaming this game chif son i'm 33 years old i'm gonna play fucking fortnite 2017 say what it was the biggest game in the world that's where ninja came from ninja 2017? Son, I'm 33 years old. I'm going to play fucking Fortnite. 2017. It was the biggest game in the world? That's where Ninja came from.
Starting point is 02:21:09 Ninja was playing Fortnite? He was the first nice Fortnite guy. What's the scaffolding thing? Why do you have to build scaffolding? He grew up in New York. He's like, they're doing construction? That's what it looked like to me. Are they getting a rent kickback or something? Why do you have to build scaffolding? He grew up in New York. He's like, they're doing construction in here? That's what it looked like to me. It's a union job.
Starting point is 02:21:26 Yeah. Are they getting the rent kickback or something? Like, they're doing construction on the whole game? It looks like it's just scaffolding. Like, you're just building scaffolding, and then you get to the top, and you jump off. It's during the training, yeah. It's just weird. No, it's like for tactical play.
Starting point is 02:21:38 Tactical play. You got to build and block, and then you can shoot behind them. Well, why doesn't the game build it already? He don't know shit. He ain't never played Fortnite. He's trying to do the mic, because he's not on the mic, bro. He's trying to do behind them. Well, why isn't the game build it already? You know shit The mic because you know I do the bike I do the bike yeah Have you ever played for tonight? I play like six times. I got one victory Royale and I was like I'm done playing Oh, yeah, what is victory Royale? That's when you win. That's when you beat everybody
Starting point is 02:21:59 You did not win on your sixth attempt. That's yes bullshit by myself 2017 You did not win on your sixth attempt. That's bullshit. By myself. What year? 2017. Okay, that doesn't count. Yeah, it can't be shit. I don't disagree. It definitely does not count.
Starting point is 02:22:13 You played the old shit. I was also getting coached the whole time. Like two guys in my area were like, all right, go this way, do this, grab this box, drop that gun. And I won. I played the old shit. That's why. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:22:22 I was on gamer subs, bro. I was on fucking PED. I took two scoops of gamer subs. I snorted it to the face off the toilet Yeah. I was on gamer subs, bro. I was on fucking PED. I took two scoops of gamer subs. I snorted it to the face off the toilet seat. I was going crazy. Come on, dude. Al, are you going to play Fortnite? Nah.
Starting point is 02:22:33 Definitely not. Why? Why not? I don't catch it. Son, there's too many joysticks. You guys are so washed, bro. Son, that's the old game. Nobody's even played Fortnite anymore.
Starting point is 02:22:42 Why don't you play? Yes, they do. No. Third most played. I played Gears of War. Gears of game. Nobody's even played for it anymore. Why don't you play? Yes, they do. No. I play Gears of War. Gears of War. What's that? Shifty, what is the number one most streamed game? Minecraft.
Starting point is 02:22:52 Yeah, I play Minecraft all day. And Gears of War. That's my shit. Gears of War? Yep. What's that about? I don't know. But I know it's one.
Starting point is 02:23:00 It's a game, right? Minecraft? No, Gears of War. Gears of War? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if that's a big streaming game. Yeah, shut up. Shifty, get out of here, bro. Yeah, Gears of War does not have a streaming community at all. That shit's one. It's a game, right? No, Gears of War. Yeah. Yeah, shut up. Get out of here, bro.
Starting point is 02:23:11 Bro, you gotta play Fortnite now that MLK's in the game. Nah, I've played it before. Is he still talking? Non-stop. That's a long-ass speech, bro. It's a dream. Hey. But it's non-stop? It's on a loop? Yeah, then it'll stop it eventually. But you can go check that shit out, dude.
Starting point is 02:23:26 Does he get weird young for that? Yeah. Does he get paid? What's the rights for it? Yeah, I don't know who owns the rights to that, but they're getting paid out. The king estate, probably. Okay, I support it.
Starting point is 02:23:38 Say what? If the estate is getting paid, I support it. I didn't look it up. I think they gotta do that. In my heart, that's what's happening. So that's why you gotta play, bro. You got the character on let's play a rip fortnight yeah let's play let's play right now fire it up bro no i've heard of the game i saw it i've seen the guys doing it they got the big fucking costumes on and all that kind of stuff yeah i don't know if you're thinking of fortnight bro yeah you're thinking of renaissance fair
Starting point is 02:24:02 yeah you're the movie thinking of guar are you thinking of guar that's what you're thinking a renaissance fair you're thinking a gwar are you thinking a gwar that's what you're thinking about I don't know a single gwar song I know exactly what they look like yeah
Starting point is 02:24:09 this is an old rock band forget it way before Mark's time no clue how he knows we gotta have
Starting point is 02:24:14 Malcolm X in Fortnite though we're gonna do Malcolm X in Fortnite that would be fire I would be
Starting point is 02:24:19 fired up that's what I'm saying we're fucking up these white liberals let's rock Nat Turner
Starting point is 02:24:24 show up to the Nat Turner I'll go like, let's rock. Nat Turner. Yeah. Yo, show up to the Nat Turner. I'll go to that one 100%. Hells yeah. MLK is sick,
Starting point is 02:24:29 but like, that's not the right vibe. You know what I mean? Yeah. I want to march. You know? You need that old shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:24:34 You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Or like some French thing. Like, what's a good French one? The beheading of Marie Antoinette?
Starting point is 02:24:41 Yeah, the beheading of Marie Antoinette. Yeah. That'd be kind of fire. Rose Pierre popping off. That'd be sick. Oh, fuck yeah. Hell yeah, the beheading of Marie Antoinette. That'd be kind of fire. Rose Pierre popping off. That'd be sick. Oh, fuck, yeah. Hell yeah, dude.
Starting point is 02:24:48 Get out there and Euro, dude. Call that shit Fortskin. Bastille dance. Such a long setup. I don't know why you brought up France. I was like, what for? The most wild setup ever. Which, I think that's why French people aren't circumcised.
Starting point is 02:25:03 Because people always say it looks like slugs, but French eat slugs ah so i think they like it for that reason they just like the smell as well it also smells like slugs okay now um guys we could talk about tony hawk's blood skateboard or the baby from nirvana best joke about the baby from nirvana suing nirvana you heard about this the baby from the nevermind album is about the baby from Nirvana suing Nirvana. You heard about this. The baby from the Nevermind album is suing the Nirvana estate for like, you know, child exploitation or something like that.
Starting point is 02:25:31 Yeah, they call it child pornography. So glad you explained that. I thought the baby was doing a collab with Nirvana. It's a story. You remember the baby in the cover of the Nirvana?
Starting point is 02:25:40 It's a baby that there's a Nirvana album called Nirvana. Now you, this is iconic. It's a little kid in a pool. He's like, yo, if you're in the pool, put your lighters on right now. I don't even's a Nirvana album called this is iconic it's a little kid in a pool he's like yo
Starting point is 02:25:46 if you're in the pool put your lighters on I don't even know who Nirvana is shut up you know Nirvana I probably have heard a song
Starting point is 02:25:51 I cannot identify them you know it's a band so their first maybe their second album but their big album is a baby in a pool naked the guy who killed himself
Starting point is 02:25:58 was he part of that band yes but he went solo he split no he died while he was in the band he died while he was when he was singing
Starting point is 02:26:03 their big album cover is a baby in a pool naked chasing a dollar bill white bitches don't know you think my bitches don't know i fucked every type of bitches man every type of white bitch yes and they all know i was black dude he doesn't know anything about white stuff exactly or black stuff yeah i'll pour it it alright finish and explain anyway so so there's a baby on the cover baby's on the cover naked
Starting point is 02:26:27 and he's chasing like a dollar bill on like a fishing pole fishing hook or whatever but it's this iconic cover there's a dollar floating in the pool he's in the pool the shot is under the water and he's like reaching for the dollar
Starting point is 02:26:37 okay right but you see the baby's like butt naked yeah so now he's suing Nirvana for child exploitation like the estate and
Starting point is 02:26:44 but yeah you see that never seen that in my life that's hilarious I swear to god there's no way suing Nirvana for child exploitation, like the estate. And, but yeah, you see that? Never seen that in my life. That's hilarious. Swear to God. There's no way. Swear to God. Hilarious. Everybody else who's listening that knows exactly what we're talking about, I apologize for wasting your fucking time. There's Matt Belinsky who had this joke that was really funny. He goes,
Starting point is 02:26:59 that baby's still chasing the dollar. Yeah. I thought that was the best joke about it. Right? It's like he's still trying to get that money. Bro, you are a hater, dude. I just never see that. Shouldn't he sue his mom? Yeah, technically. Like, his mom sold the picture.
Starting point is 02:27:15 Yeah. His mom exploited the baby. I guess they were also exploiting the baby, but with the permission of the mom. Yes. Mom doesn't have any money. And here's what bothers me, is I think the guy has done
Starting point is 02:27:26 appearances. I'm looking through the article, but I saw a thing that said, like, he's done appearances as the baby. He's made money off of being that baby. He's done dozens of recreations of that. And now you want to sue because you're like, yeah, but I guess it was weird. It was weird. That stimulus running out, bro.
Starting point is 02:27:41 It's also weird that you did it for money. Like, get a fucking job, bro. Yeah. It's also weird that you did it for money. Like, get a fucking job, bro. Yeah. That's weird. I mean, it sucks that your dang-a-lang is all, like, on display, but it's like your baby dang-a-lang. Yeah, it's your baby dang. You don't know what they grew into. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:27:54 I bet he got a hog. I'm totally fine with my baby dang-a-lang being shown. As long... Yeah. Yeah. Yours? You sure? Yeah, my baby dang-a-lang, like, whatever.
Starting point is 02:28:04 I put a baby dang-a-lang picture whatever. I put a baby dangling picture up. I put a baby dangling picture up of my kids. All right, that's crazy. Nah, you out. I would. Of your own kids? What do you mean? I post a baby dangling picture.
Starting point is 02:28:15 I put it on the story. Nah. Maybe not a post. I put it on the story. Nah, that's going to live forever, bro. Say what? That's going to live forever. Put it on the story, 24 hours with a swipe up.
Starting point is 02:28:23 Yeah. Only fans. Yo, come forever, bro. Say what? That's going to live forever. Put on a story 24 hours with a swipe up. Yeah. Only fans. Yo, come on, son. Anything else? Maybe the Tony Hawk skateboard thing? You can also hit it on Patreon. Oh, yeah. I think that shit is...
Starting point is 02:28:38 Basically, Tony Hawk did a skateboard with blood. And they took some of his blood and they put it into these limited edition skateboards or whatever. They mixed it with the paint, right? Yeah, I guess they mixed it. Everybody's making this big comparison to Lil Nas X.
Starting point is 02:28:57 When Lil Nas X did it, it's fucked up. When Tony Hawk did it, it's not fucked up. He made that whole post. Lil Nas X really leaned into it. Can you guys be honest? It wasn't the blood it was just something else what was it yeah i mean they do hate you because you're gay yeah but the excuse you gave them wasn't the blood it was the devil yeah you gave like little nas x gave them the out by talking about the devil and devil worship and all this other stuff and i don't think it was the blood that was in these sneakers that
Starting point is 02:29:23 he was selling it was the devil that was these sneakers they're saying if you're like plus blood but the blood means nothing if he was like hey here's still a devil sneaker and then all these christians that saw their kids listening to old town road and now they're like oh shit that guy is not only gay but he's also saying devil worship i'm gonna twerk on the devil and boom exactly so i i think that he's this is this is kind of unfair and he knows it but you gotta keep marketing shit and drumming up entertainment. But it's not about blood. It's just about the devil. For religious folks.
Starting point is 02:29:52 Skateboarding kids, they're bleeding. That's part of the allure of it I guess. It's like, oh this guy bled. This guy bleeds. That's what you do in this sport. Music you're not. There's no blood involved. There's no injuries involved. It's a whole different thing. And you got sued because it was Nike and you're taking a Nike sneaker
Starting point is 02:30:06 and putting blood on it and they were like what the fuck we didn't give you this permission that's why you got sued it's a fucking corporate thing yeah and if the company
Starting point is 02:30:14 I'm assuming Tony Hawk's skateboard company is like yeah do that with our well yeah absolutely we would love to do this with you if there was a Nike collab where they had blood
Starting point is 02:30:21 on the sneaker he's not getting sued because it's a Nike collab Nike might catch some backlash but that's because the devil shit again yeah little nas actually have a sneaker with his gay ass nobody cares yeah i'd buy it that's great yeah but even in the midst of this he had such a good comeback that became like internet lore that the whole nahi twiggan yeah why did this become such a big old yeah he i guess like his influence so like basically the rap i'm pretty sure it was the rap instagram account just rap posted the link and then he
Starting point is 02:30:49 just comments under it goes nah he tweaking yeah and then just got crazy upvotes i think they pinned it and then everyone's just like oh we're flooding all the comments with nah he tweaking and now every time anybody does anything weird it's like nah he tweaking yeah for the next like week yeah but it's like one it just shows his influence that like he posts some catchy shit one he's able to think of like a funny response yeah and that's like sort of self-actualizing and ironic and then the fact that all these kids and like internet kids are like instagram kids are picking it up being like yo we're gonna comment on everything flood the comments like to me i was like oh that's actually a pretty cool way for him to take this moment that's not about
Starting point is 02:31:21 him and then galvanize it to bring it back on right so i was actually fairly impressed with that and i was just all of that was like a funny response yeah now he's interesting he knows how to market i just think it's a little unfair to compare the two yeah and i think he knows it i think like you said he recognizes like he'll drum it up he knows what the fuck he's doing yeah um all right boys i think that that's an episode thank you guys so much for tuning in uh we love y'all we appreciate y'all we'll see you on patreon this friday and um anything else before we get out of here boys don't shit yourselves okay okay important lesson

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.