Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Kanye Interview Exposes He’s Black Trump

Episode Date: October 28, 2020

This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia, and Mark discuss if it's okay to dress up as Shaun King, Chelsea Handler reminding 50 Cent he's black, Kanye's Rogan Interview, and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2 Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a choir then welcome to The Flagrancy.

What's up everybody? Welcome to Flavor 2. We are sorry that we're late. I don't know if you guys saw on Instagram, but Alex thought his foot was pregnant. Tried to cut that shit off. He's been bleeding profusely for the last, I don't know, about 24 to 48 hours. That is the first of many jokes about Alex's bloody foot that we're going to tell on this podcast today. It is also Halloween, okay? some bloody foot that we were going to tell on this podcast today. It is also Halloween. Okay? And if you

are watching on the YouTube, you've already begun to see our costumes. I'm sure you're commenting about what they could be. I will give you a few more seconds. Al, if you go to the Super Why, you can see what we all are. We are all the same person. Okay? And again,

if you're commenting right now, maybe you'll get it before I mention it. It you'll be you'll get it before i mention it it's possible that you could get it before i mention it we are i'm not going to say who it is right now but arguably the greatest civil rights activist of all time it's an homage it is an homage it is homage to arguably the greatest civil rights activist it goes back and forth right this is like the lebron versus jordan. You know what I mean? A lot of people are like, yo, Jordan's the greatest setter because they lived through that generation. They didn't live through the LeBron generation.

Or rather, the LeBron fans didn't live through the Jordan generation. So they don't know. There's a generational gap. There is a generational gap. Yes. 100%. But what some say might be the LeBron of civil rights. Do you know what I mean? The king of kings. The king of civil rights. Theron of civil rights. Do you know what I mean? The king of kings.

The king of civil rights. The king of civil rights, some people might say. I mean, you know what I mean? If it's the Avengers, he's Captain America. This is without a doubt. I mean, he maybe would rather be captain of somewhere else. He doesn't seem to like America that much. That being said, he's the captain.

Yeah. Okay? King is the last name one of the kings and he is one of the kings it's sean king guys if you guys if you guys didn't put it together if you guys didn't together we just want to you know we want to big up we want to give some respect we should have done a drum roll bro we should have done it would have been off beat though if we did it probably why would it be off beat, though? No reason. No reason at all. I mean, we're not making any judgment on his beat making ability.

No, not at all. He'd probably make good beats. I would like to know who. Black guy's got rhythm. Why wouldn't he be able to make some good beats? Exactly. Guy's from Georgia, isn't he? Probably.

He's from Texas? Savannah, maybe. I don't even think he knows exactly where he's from. It gets a little confusing. Now, Taylor, what is your flip on Sean King? I mean, I just feel like he's one of the greatest. He's one of the greatest. One of the greatest kings I know.

I just want to give my props. That's it. We called Charlamagne. We asked. Especially, you know, he gives, he picked up so many black women. So, you know, me as a black woman, I just feel like. Exactly. We called him.

We asked Charlamagne if he knew who we were. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And he looked at Al and he looked at Taylor and he was like, that's what I, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. He said, you guys understand how to play this social media game because if the cops ever do try to kill y'all now sean how will definitely have seen the podcast they think i need to support these people first yes they shouted me out for

halloween i need to shout them out 100 okay they look way less likely to get killed now yes do you think yeah if al got pulled over now he looks so safe bro yeah but he also looks a little terrifying i wouldn't know what to think if al came up to me dressed like that i don't know i just wouldn't know what to think he got cocaine in his beard or something there's a lot more than that i mean are you threatened are you you feel safe i would be threatened by the power that i feel because i would know who he's trying to be and just the aura itself is so powerful

that I would be like, yo, this is a man that causes change around the world. That is a good point. I would feel, I would feel inadequate.

That's what I would feel. I would feel inadequate. You just feel the power. I would feel royalty, bro. I mean, that's why I wore my new North Face boots because I'm as militant as Sean is, bro. That's what this comes down to.'d just feel the power. I would feel royalty, bro. I mean, that's why I wore my new North Face boots, because I'm as militant as Sean is, bro.

That's what this comes down to. Boots on the ground. Boots on the ground. We're not playing around. You know what I mean? So we just wanted to give a big shout out to our Savior. You know what I mean? Our Lord and Savior.

Not white Jesus, but, you know, other colored Jesuses. He's cool, black Jesus. What about Palestinian Jesus? I think he'd be all right with black Jesus. What about Palestinian Jesus? I think he'd be all right with black, I mean, Palestinian Jesus. Well, guys,

this game lost steam quicker than Sean King pulling his cock out and... What? He doesn't work at CNN. What do you mean?

Guys, here we are. Another episode of Flagrant. We're sorry that we're late. Maybe our little Sean King game ran on a little bit long. I don't see what's the game. I feel like I look incredibly accurate. I do, too. I think I even look more like Sean King. Maybe you do.

Maybe you do. You got the beard. You got the facial hair. Al, you know, you guys are doing it. I just think you guys, you know, you don't get how powerful Sean King. Maybe you do. Maybe you do. You got the beard. You got the facial hair. Al, you know, you guys are doing it. I just think you guys, you know, you don't get how powerful Sean King is and that's fine. You guys who are offended, not you guys specifically. Anybody's offended, you just don't get it.

You're not woke enough. We stay woke. You know what I mean? We don't sleep. We out here mad woke. You look like a lifeguard. Hey, you know who probably knows how to swim? Sean King. You know who guards lives. That's a good point. Stay woke, bro. Stay woke.

Al, how's your foot, man? How's everything going? My foot's all right, man. Yeah? Begin the roast. Why are you calling him Alex, though? I don't. What do you want me to call him?

Are we going to refer to each other as Sean King? No. Are you Shonda King? Shonda. Ooh. Shonda King's kind of lit. Yeah. Does he have a wife?

Huh? Does he have a wife? He does. Black woman. Mm-hmm. Okay. Keeping it black. You're not what I'm in.

But I was going to say, he should be Alex the Stallion. Or what did I say? The horse? Alex the Stallion. But you're not necessarily the horse. You're not tall. So be- Taylor's been trying to get this stallion joke out, bro. She's been trying to get this stallion or what I say the horse and you're not necessarily who you're not tall so

First time you said it that shit really hit like that galloped the first Was off to the races, but the fifth time that you just said it right now That's why you gotta save it for the pod. You gotta put it to sleep. Yeah, but it's so ashy. I can't help it. Yes. Your foot's ashy and dirty a little bit. I mean, he's been walking barefoot on the streets in New York. The guy's bleeding out of his foot profusely.

He's trying to make his foot look like Sean King's. Okay? Black on black crime. Bro, that's a victim. You need to look at my foot. My foot is beautiful right now. Yo, if you hurt yourself, is that black on black crime? Oh, shit. Wow. You are a victim of black to look at my yo if you hurt yourself is that black on black crime yeah oh

wow you're a victim of black on black crime yo when you beat your dick is that black oh i get it damn you slow You are white today. I'm just kidding. Not white. Guy's black. Obviously, he's black.

Yeah. 100% black. 100% black. Beating your dick. That's a self-care day, man. That is self-care. Okay, so can you just tell us how it happened or how you like to tell the story? There's no way it happened like this, but just tell us that.

Exactly. There's no way. Can I tell you what he said to me? Wait, wait, wait. I want to hear Schultz's first. Okay, this is what he said. He first sends me a picture, and there's a whole pussy on his foot. It's sliced open, lips, everything spread out. It's nasty.

It's that time of the month for his foot. Bleeding, right? All over the place. I go, oh, my God, how did it happen? I thought you went to the beach. What? I thought you were at the beach. I don't know.

I thought you were walking at the beach, and there was some beach glass or some shit that you cut right he says to me it's october son you're born i don't know i really don't know at this point i don't know i'm trying to make sense of it okay he goes to me he goes he goes oh yeah i dropped the glass i call him i go so you dropped the glass on your foot he goes no i dropped a glass and dropped the glass on your foot? He goes, no. I dropped a glass, and then the glass flew. It shattered and then flew and cut across my foot, deep, severed an artery across my foot. Does that sound like that really happened? No.

It does sound a little unbelievable. When he put it in the group chat, how quickly did you start doubting that? I was like, there's no fucking way out. See, that's why the first thing I said, I said I stepped on glass because that was the easiest to comprehend. Yeah, there's no fucking way out. See, that's why the first thing I said, I said I stepped on glass because that was the easiest to comprehend. Yeah, you started out with a lot. Yeah. Just like Megan Thee Stallion.

Talking to authorities, you did not speak the truth. How you not break no bones, no fucking ligaments, nothing. Just foot. Huh? Shit, I almost did. Okay, continue the story, Sean. So it's exactly how you described it. Okay. When the bottle hit the ground, the glass shattered and like went in different directions. Yeah.

And the piece just went. That's why it's not on the bottom. I didn't step on it. It's on the side of my foot because it hit it towards the side. I was barefoot. I was at home about to enjoy a nice glass of wine. I just opened the bottle and the bottle goes crashing down to the ground. How?

Were you opening with one arm? Can I just say one thing? What have I said constantly on this show about hand strength? Al's got the most. Al's got the strongest hands. Crazy. You've ever seen? The strongest hands.

I can't tighten up this little arm for the microphone. Sometimes Al will come from behind the desk and then just ratchet that with his fingers. His hand strength is absolutely unbelievable. Remember when you couldn't pop them out of your glasses? I couldn't even pop the glasses out of my glasses, to be sure. I had to get Al to pop one out. Then I realized I was popping it the wrong way, but it doesn't really matter. Point is.

He went to a handicap to help you. I did. I went to a handicap to help me, right? And you were able to do it. I don't believe there's a world where you could pick up a bottle of wine and it's too heavy and you just drop it and it falls on the ground. So. I do believe you maybe shattered it off the ground yourself. You threw it off the ground so much.'re jealous in puerto rican bro your girl

in a weird way and then you would have just went off what the fuck you seeing him you wouldn't do that outside of your house you wouldn't do that at your own house but maybe maybe you don't understand you were outside no i was home clearly i was barefoot i don't know that's not how white guys handle anger. We'll punch our own walls. You know what I mean? We don't give a shit. Yeah, we don't slice our own feet open, dude.

That's the most Puerto Rican thing ever. I need to cut something, bro. Fuck my chocolate. Slice it. Someone in the comments said, that's what you get for wearing thong sandals. Black men not supposed to wear thong sandals. That's what they said. Maybe he was trying to take an Instagram picture on the beach, had on his bare

feet. And where was he looking? Where was he looking? Off into space. What's going on? Al puts the cap in handicap. Why don't you take that cap off for a second? Ain't it funny that Al puts on this costume, suddenly we don't believe the origins of anything for a second? Ain't it funny that Al Poussa on this costume suddenly don't believe the origins of anything from this man?

Ain't that something? Ain't that something? All of a sudden, it's mad unbelievable. Hold on. Interesting. Bro, you look better with glasses. What? I don't usually wear glasses.

You look like Clark Kent when you put that on. You look better in your Halloween costume? Halloween's supposed to be scary, dude. Why would you say that, dude? He just feels the power coming from the costume. You more royal now. You're a king, dude. You just like white people more.

I see what you're doing. Wait, what? This is my only part of the costume. It's Clark Kent glasses. Yo, that is disrespectful. Nobody said I look like Clark Kent. I just said it. What'd you say? I said you look like Clark Kent glasses. Whoa. Yo, that is disrespectful. Nobody said I look like Clark Kent. I just said it. What'd you say?

I said you look like Clark Kent. No, I got Chris Merrow. Yo, that's fucked up, man. I look like Chris Merrow, bro. Come on, bro. You do got some vibes. Nah, come on, bro. Do I look like Chris Merrow?

Yes. When Chris was younger? Yeah. Nah, bro. Y'all sit the same. Nah. Yeah, look like Chris Merle? Yes. When Chris was younger? Yeah. Nah, bro. Y'all sit the same. Nah. Yeah, we do sit with the cross legs. Nah, but you do.

Glasses. You do. Yeah, we do have a little schnozzeline. Chris got a nice little schnozzeline. And it's crazy because Chris will be nasal sometimes. His voice will be nasal. Yeah. And I'll just be looking at him like, you can't get no air up that mother fucker.

You're saying there's no room? He's got the deepest voice, bro. He's got so much airflow. But there he was. Barry White. That's what we should call you. Is it Barry White? Barry White.

Barry White. That's how they say it in Spanish. Barry White. Barry White. Okay, Barry White. Can you tell us what happened with this story? What kind of wine? What kind of wine? Betty White Betty White that's how they say in Spanish Betty White Betty White okay Betty White can you tell us what happened with this story

what kind of wine what kind of wine it was a Malbec which is that's a red it's a red okay so my flaws are covered

oh I actually oh the funny part of the story was isn't it convenient he chose blood colored wine ain't that convenient I was gonna say that ain't that convenient

I'm surprised he didn't that convenient? I was going to say that. Ain't that convenient? Not that convenient. I'm surprised he didn't choose white wine. Sell out ass. Sell out ass. That's why he let it hit the floor. White wine for these white bitches. That's why he let it hit the floor and break. He never would have dropped no white wine.

He never would have dropped white wine. You were like, ew. Ew, colored wine? Ew. Slam that. Spiked it like Gronkowski, dude. All right, go, Al. You're getting cycled today.

Yeah. Your foot is on a cycle. Did you cry? No, I didn't. Come on, Taylor. How you just stop the spin cycle like that, Taylor? The propeller was moving, and then you were just like, like Alex's foot.

Looking out for his emotions and shit? Come on, Taylor. Get out of here. Did you cry? We don't do that. What was happening? So I bust my ass right after it happened oh yeah what what you mean because like so when the glass hit my foot my just knee-jerk reaction was like to move it quickly out the way and because the floor is covered with wine i slipped and like literally the feet went right up from under me

no bust my ass so yeah fell back Fell back on glass? Luckily there was nothing underneath me but like it was all around me and shit like that. Oh my God. But I was covered. This whole thing made it convenient. Son, do you still have those

secret cameras in your house? What secret cameras? Son, if you got them security cameras. What are you talking about? Son, if you still got them security cameras. No. I don't know what just happened. That's the real story happened That's the real story

Ever since you Wiped up you did some white ass shit bro Security cameras in the house You respect black people You respect black people You call the cops on yourself You never know A black man just injured my foot

You never know He was trying to catch him You're looking at just a camera footage at the end of that night like, who's this black man in my home

walking around drinking my cranberry juice like that Mexico on skateboard. The Mexico on skateboard. No. Remember that little

motherfucker with the Fleetwood Mac? Yeah, I know. But you call them the Mexico on skateboard. Is that what that's at yeah whatever bro

it comes out the way it comes out we don't say Mexican anymore that's racist what do you say it's the country that they are from you just say Mexico

you say Mexico yeah the Mexico yeah that's a Mexico on a skateboard yeah that's what a social

justice activist would do oh yeah well come on dude you have the did you pop out the lenses nah yeah he did oh no I did pop out the lenses Yeah he did

Oh no I did pop them out Crazy motherfucker out here Yeah what's up Taylor It don't matter I don't think there was no wine bottle I think that What do you think happened I'm gonna go on with what you were saying about the feet

The pretty feet thing I don't see it but whatever That's disrespect you're saying, I'm going to go on with what you were saying about the feet, the pretty feet thing. I don't see it, but whatever. That's disrespect. You're judging him off his bad foot. Do you see the angle I'm looking at his foot? Yo, but bust out the other foot. Real talk,

bust out the other foot. That was dirty as hell. Honestly, bust out the other foot and Taylor, try not to slide off that seat. Girl,

because let me tell you, these feets are pretty. Taylor's toes look like fucking corn dogs and she has a nerve to talk about that. Send your feet as trash. Send your feet as trash.

You see my feet? Look at that foot. The bottom of your foot is whiter than your face. You put some paint on the bottom. That's the Puerto Rican. So wait, so after you dropped the glass or the bottle, did you clean it up, like your foot right after? Like you like wrapped it up and cleaned it off?

What? What'd you do? There was no like wine in the video or anything? Yeah, why was there no wine in the video that you sent us? It was because the video that I sent you was at the hospital. Oh, that's pretty convenient. So there's no like no red wine anywhere like on your leg or pants or nothing? So they cleaned the foot.

Your pants don't have any red wine on them? I had boxers on. When you slipped? Yes. I'm home. I'm in boxers. What did you cut? I'm at home in boxers barefoot.

I'm bringing the wine covered boxers. He's spinning. He's spinning. How deep is the cut for you to go to the hospital? I pulled out my black gloves. How deep is the cut for you to go to the hospital? I pulled out my black gloves, my Johnny Cochran's, bro. How deep is the cut for you to go to the hospital? It's deep. It's like mad deep.

Yeah, I need eight stitches. Oh. Yeah, that shit's not a game. Come on, son. What is that thing called? Shiv? Yeah. You got shivved?

Shiv. What's shivved? That's a prison term. You wouldn't know nothing about that white girl. All right, yo. So in conclusion, Al, you're a liar. Yes, I am. Absolutely.

You have an injury on your foot that you're not going to share with us. I'm not going to share it with you guys. We're going to review them security cams. But we are going to look at your security camera footage. Okay. You can turn my webcam on. That's fine. All right.

Moving along. Okay. I got engaged. Hell yeah! Yeah. She said, yeah. Yeah. fine. All right, moving along. Okay? I got engaged. Hell yeah! Yeah! She said, yeah. Yeah, tell us about it, yo. I've been waiting to hear it. Damn, fake news this whole podcast?

Say what? Hey, man, I rock with fake news. I'll tell you that right now. I got a whole fiance, bro. One funny thing that ties both of these together. Okay. Someone's comment, where you commented on the video

we posted on Instagram and said, oh, Al stepped on my girl's rock. And then someone commented and said, not the last time a black guy will bleed for a diamond for a white girl. I was like, jeez. That's a good one right there. That's pretty decent though, right? That is a good ass joke. There was another one

that I thought was disrespectful, but someone was like, why was your girl on her knees and hands and knees on the ground and alex walking around where he would step on a ring or something like that like eluding to some foul shit maybe trying to clean up wine or something that he allegedly i see what it is okay so here's the story of the engagement, okay? Engagement. We're going to this restaurant, okay? Her favorite restaurant is Cosme, okay? A few days earlier, I go, I'm going to get this reservation for her favorite restaurant. We always have date night once a week, date night, okay? Super hard to get a reservation.

Very hard. You could never. Most people could never, okay? No one in this room, definitely. One person, actually. Let me correct that. Anyway. Yeah, me. That's all, okay? That's it. No one in this room Definitely One person actually Let me correct that Anyway So Yeah me

That's all Okay That's it Alright So We go to this place Cosme Right

Mexican restaurant Shouts to Mexico And Mexicos Yeah I love memes of Mexico Oh Mexicans get a restaurant Suddenly they ain't letting anybody in Yeah That's their move

Now you see how fun it is To not let people in Right Oh shit Now you see the merits Oh shit Can't just't letting anybody in. That's your move. Now you see how fun it is to not let people in, right? Oh, shit. Now you see the merits. Oh, shit. You can't just let any old body in.

That's interesting. Why can't I be in here? Well, it could be an inconvenience to the people that are already in here. Oh, is that what happened? Boy, our capacity,

Corona, 70%. Oh, shit. I'm going to have to talk to Enrique. He's the guy who owns this. The guy from Chef's Table. You know what the host is? The host is a wall.

No big deal at all. No big deal. You. The guy from Chef's Table. You know what the host is? The host is a wall. No big deal at all. No big deal. You know the guy from Chef's Table? I mean, I don't know him. I did ask him if he would make a video for my girl. He got no response. I learned my level of fame. I can get a reservation.

And that's all. I think he got a spot by me in Long Island City. Really? Yeah, he got a Michelin star. Yes. Most definitely. And it's bomb. Have you gone? Yeah, got a Michelin star Something like that Most definitely And it's bomb Have you gone?

Yeah Alright, you should definitely go It's hard to get a reservation I got one marked God damn It's definitely not that one A different guy It was the Queens one

You can never It's definitely a different guy It's probably Peruvian He wasn't even Anyway Point is We go to this restaurant Cosme, right?

Okay I'm going to get her the reservation we do date night she usually gets the reservations i don't know anything about food my girl goes all shit i go out on a limb i'm like this her favorite restaurant i'm gonna get it there and that's where i'm gonna propose the next day she goes i got us a reservation at cosme i'm like fuck okay so now i gotta delete her reservation so i tell her day of 830, we're going to Cosme. She's like, no, it's at 8. And I'm like, oh, I did one for 830.

And she goes, oh, fuck, well, mine is 8. Do you want me to call them and tell them to cancel? I can't have her call because the people at the restaurant know I'm proposing. So if she calls, all of a sudden they're going to be like, oh, you sure you want to cancel this? This is a big night. Can't do it. So I call really quick and I just cancel it. And then I hit her back like, oh, I did it. I'm like, hopefully she doesn't fucking know. I don't do anything so i call really quick and i just cancel it and then i hit

her back like oh i did it i'm like hopefully she doesn't fucking know i don't do anything i don't know how to organize anything i do nothing in that regard immediately she should be suspicious she should be very suspicious and she knows that there's a ring somewhere around there i told you the night i got my ring i lost my phone right what the night i got the ring i went to my parents house to show my mom the ring right because my dad never got her a real ring so i wanted her to see what it was like right right right right wait wait wait wait wait you said your dad never got your mom no my dad this is how wild my mom is my mom was wearing the first guy that she was married to's engagement ring while she was married to my dad oh my god my dad was like oh

that works i guess you know he's up yo yeah that's some real g shit that is some real g shit that's a win no my dad proposed my mom in a taxi cab on the way to chinese food that's fire she got a ring she got a ring eventually she got a ring no she didn't that's fire did she wear a ring to this day to this day she wears a ring she just bought a fake one and my dad asked her do you want a ring or like uh do you want something for the house and then she's like i'll just do a garden and said so she just chose to do it that way. But if my dad was like into it, if he would have just got it, he knows that's what she wants.

It doesn't matter. Anyway, show the ring, come back, lose my fucking phone. I'm freaking out. Somehow I find my phone. Shout out to this girl that found it. Okay. We're at this restaurant.

I'm like, how do I make sure that she's not going to do it? We're not even at the restaurant yet. We go back to the house. Okay. This fucking box from Lorraine Schwartz, my boy, Justin Cohen at Lorraine Schwartz. There justin cohen at lorraine schwartz there's the guy that you go if you need a ring you go to him i think it's jcny on instagram the box is

massive it fits in one jacket okay i'm obviously not gonna bring it to the studio gotta be the right weather for the jacket not only gotta be the right weather for the jacket i'm telling her to pick out the outfit okay i got the box inside one one of my Jordans in the closet at the top thing. Okay? I tell her I get home. She's in jeans. I'm like, you're not going to want

to get proposed to in jeans. I'm like, baby, I've been so busy lately. Can we just get a little dressed up but not trying to throw her off? She looks at me. She goes, wait a minute.

As if I'm going to propose. She goes, ah. And I go, it's not that. I promise you it's not that. Trust me. It's not that.

But let's just get a little dressed up. I'm so busy. We have one night to go out. Let's just get a little fancy. I say pick me out an outfit. You pick yourself out an outfit. Okay? You know that Prada jacket that I was wearing last time?

Trying to subtle flex? Yeah. Like I didn't know how expensive that shit was that I wore. And thank you so much to everybody that noticed it. I appreciate you. I ride the show. Fuck all y'all that thought it was just a regular jacket. That is regular, bro.

No, it's not regular, bro. That's Prada. You probably haven't been to in the store it's really hard to get in it's it's really difficult yeah but two people got a reservation the same night can we not we're not gonna acknowledge the restaurant was fucking empty i walked in there francis ellis was eating with his girlfriend i almost walked out i almost walked out out. I was like, how is this going to be special if Francis is right here? Not proposing? You know how miserable that night was for him?

All of a sudden I waited for him to leave. I couldn't do it in front of him and his girl. After a beautiful dinner I just bust out the rock. Blind everyone in the restaurant. She's sitting there

all naked handed. Can't have that happen. Just eviscerate everyone in the restaurant. Exactly. Infinity stone. So, I go, I hope she picks this one jacket. There's one jacket that's going to fit in.

I tried it in every other jacket. You know me. I don't have that many things. I got a fucking jean jacket. I got the black and yellow North Face. Doesn't fit in either of those. It fits in the Prada pocket. Thank God she picked the Prada pocket.

I'm like, okay, we're good. We're in there on our way to the restaurant. That's huge. Exactly. Before we go to the restaurant, by We're in there on our way to the restaurant. That's huge. Exactly. Before we go to the restaurant, by the way, I go downstairs to walk the dog. On my way back, I'm pretty sure I see the dude from the penthouse. Oh, wow.

I don't get it. This is an old story. This is for people who don't know. But she dated someone who's in the building, just happens to be the nicest apartment in the building and everything like that. So I'm pretty sure I see the guy. I'm not exactly sure.

Pathetic looking guy. But I saw a guy who was pretty pathetic and I was like, that's probably him. Maybe a homeless guy or something? Yeah, it might have been homeless. You couldn't even recognize who he was. Yeah, I walked right out of the building. I was like, get the fucking riffraff out of here.

Threw him a quarter. There you go, buddy. Best of luck. So I go, we're on the way. We go to the restaurant. Restaurant knows I'm proposing in between the meal and the dessert. Okay.

I got a line set up that I said I'm brilliant idiots. It's... Right? That shit was fire. I have it written in my phone because I know I'm going to fuck it up. I go, what are you doing? Forever. In retrospect, that shit really is bad. But when I said

it on Brilliant Idiots, Charlotte really gassed me up. It's got to be fire. It's got to be set up in a very specific way. You said it on Brilliant Idiot first. I know, but then he gassed me up. He was like, yo, that's fire.

I was like, let me write that on my phone. I kept looking back the next few days. I was like, I don't know if this is fire. You wasn't saying it right. How do I say it?

You're supposed to be like, grab my hand, be like, so what are you doing for the rest of your life? Fire! You got to go tee in some game over here,

girl. I see you, Taylor. Oh, shit. All right. I see you, Taylor. Ever since you put on that face paint, you good at lying. I don't know what that is. What the hell happened? I don't know what that is. What the hell?

Okay. Damn near colonized my pick-up lines. Okay. So I'm in there. I go to the bathroom to check my phone. Just get the line. I got the line. What are you doing forever?

I got it. We're sitting there. I'm like, okay, the second this food is out the way we're fucking doing it i'm dropping it i check it again she tells me to get off my phone giving me attitude about me being on my phone i'm like oh you almost didn't get the proposal you're gonna yell about me because i can't memorize the goddamn line i want to use to spend the rest of my life with you she was calling you out she was like yo can you just put your phone down we're on date night and i was like i'm going on my script yeah what's wrong with you? She was calling you out at the restaurant. She was like, yo, can you just put your phone down? We're on date night. And I was like, I'm going to run my script. Yeah. What's wrong with you? Don't you want a happy ending

to this movie? I'm reading my size. Fucking reading lines right now. How do you need to memorize that line? Exactly. When you're nervous, bro. I sound Mexican as fuck. When you're nervous, bro.

But what's so nervous about it, though? I don't know. It's just the moment. You know, I got fucking Francis right on. It's too many things happening, right? Francis' whiteness blinded off the phone. What are you doing for never?

That don't sound right. Francis whited an akash, right? Didn't you say there were other people in the restaurant you recognized? Oh, then halfway through, other people from our building came in. Hey, fuck them. Penhouse dude? Say what? Penhouse dude? No, no, no. Other people that we like. That we like.

Everything's fine. Anyway. I go like this. I go, hey, we're just eating, blah, blah, blah. I'm gearing up for it. And she goes, yeah, I was doing this

like an MBA interview. You know, she's getting her master's and she's doing like trying to do interviews to get a job, right? And she goes, and I call you like my boyfriend. And it just sounds so juvenile

calling you my boyfriend. And then I just go, I go, yeah, we should change change that and i just got down on one knee and i busted it open and then she just said she just blacked out okay now i still need to ask so i asked her i wanted to say what are you doing i want to say will you spend the rest of your life with me and i said will you spend the rest of your life with me? Right? I just became Chinese. In the middle, I said, will you spend the last of your life with me? That's how much this guy loves a freaking Asian accent. I turned into the Vietnamese person.

No, that was just an homage to your dad. When your parents were buying you Chinese food. Chinese food. Oh, dude. That's very romantic. That's beautiful. I whoa-hopped it. So she doesn't even answer. So I have to go, like. That's very romantic. He whoa-hopped it. That's beautiful. I whoa-hopped it. So she doesn't even answer.

So I have to go like, you have to answer. She answers, put the ring down. She did the oh like that. She laughed like a... That's what they do. They go... Wait a minute. Like Asians laughing or like a white girl really excited?

Oh, right. They're excited. Oh, that's hilarious. Taylor goes, did she go oh and covers her mouth? Yeah. And I'm assuming she's laughing like an Asian. I'm just saying this to everybody listening at home. But yeah, she did that.

Okay. And this is where shit gets cool. So I had Mark. Mark was very helpful. He went to the crib with his girl, with his wife, and took care of the dogs. Took all of- Who he don't even like. Yo, I killed that, dude.

Yeah, you did kill this. You did kill this. Took care of the dogs. Took all of her computers and work stuff and brought it to this hotel because I took her to this hotel. Okay. And we got this beautiful suite in this hotel. Shout out to my boy Laurent for hooking everything up.

And pound the puss. Yeah. Yeah, I was so drunk I don't even remember. Real talk. I have no fucking recollection. But we went in there and she was all taken care of. She didn't have to worry about the dogs. Everything was good.

And it was beautiful. And woke up the next day violently hungover. I didn't DHM. I should have DHM'd. And we leave. And on our way out, there's a guy who's the, what's it called, cleaning room guy. He was going out, right? And we leave.

And as we leave, the guy goes to me. He's this Asian dude. He goes, happy Thanksgiving. And I go, that's weird. I guess it's almost Thanksgiving. I don't know what the hell the deal with that is. So I go, thanks, man. Happy Thanksgiving.

And my girl just starts dying laughing. I'm like, why? Why are you laughing? What the fuck is going on? And then she goes he said housekeeping you thought he said happy Thanksgiving

bro I thought he said I thought he said he said housekeeping but I thought that he said happy Thanksgiving how fucked up were you but I was bad it was really bad

you celebrating yo was he an Asian guy no he was an Asian dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, I kidnaped. His whole story is full circle. Yeah, I know. Really?

It was beautiful. It was almost like- Enjoy the rest of your rife. And you just left? Imagine. No, there was like an Asian angel that was just like watching over me to make sure everything's Oh, Asian Jesus. That's Sean King's favorite.

Asian Jesus, dude. So anyway, that is my engagement story. And it is all done. I got a fiancé. Thank you so much for coming up out here. So y'all already had that talk then. Say again? About marriage and stuff. Yeah, I think that's the thing about being engaged.

It's like, it doesn't change anything for the guy. Because the second I'm willing to buy you a ring, I'm willing to marry you. I'm married in my mind. The second I said I'm buying a ring, we're married. So for her, it's the validation that it is true

that I want to marry you. Right? So for her, I guess it was a way bigger deal. There's like proof every single day that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But for me, I know that.

That's why I bought it. Yeah. So, but yeah, I don't know. I guess I'm grown now, guys. You say fiance, you say my girl. I haven't said fiance yet, like without correcting myself. So, but yeah, I don't know. I guess I'm grown now, guys. You say fiance, you say my girl.

I haven't said fiance yet like without correcting myself. It's mad syllables, yo. It is. It gets exhausting real fast. Every time I say fiance, I'm like, that's my wife, yo. And she's just like,

no, we haven't had the wedding. And I'm like, yeah. But y'all had the important wedding. Yeah, we didn't have her religious ceremony. But you had yours. Yeah, so for me, I'm married for her or not.

But it's my wife. Wait, hold on. What is it for you? We're different religions. So we had, I'm married. For her, we're not. But it's my wife. Wait, hold on. What is it? For you, you're married? We're different religions. So we had the Hindu ceremony because the calendar is very important. What's hers, though, then? She's Sikh.

She's Sikh. So that's not. It don't matter. There's no favorable time or whatever. So we're going to have that with the actual ceremony reception, all that. Okay. Well, it is what it is. Your boy's out the game, official.

I think it's a call for a celebration, man. Hell yeah, yo! It's a call for a celebration. Let's do it. Now, we need cups, dog. Oh, you can take it to the fake. Okay, fine. As for you and your shorty, congratulations, man.

So, thank you so much. Wait, wait, wait. You can take it to the head But I do want a sip Alright You don't get a sip You know what I mean It's not like it's about me What did you say?

Nothing Bro You gotta get used to that It ain't gonna be about you For a long time So Al The question is When are you going down boy?

Fuck outta here Nah dude Fuck outta Why not bro How come right now Yo Taylor When you get married? Yeah Taylor Well I have a story The question is, when are you going down, boy? Fuck out of here. Nah, dude. Fuck out of here. Why? No problem. How come? Why not? Yo, Taylor, when you get married? Yeah, Taylor.

Well, I have a story. Uh-oh. Okay, boom. No, no. Don't let it get off. Nah, nah, nah. We're going to come to you in a second. Yo, ladies first.

Don't be rude. Nah, nah, nah. When are you getting married? I'm not engaged in nothing like that. But I'm just saying I have a story. We're going to listen to your story. But I want Al to skate on out of here, okay? Honestly.

We're going gonna get to mine no no no my story doesn't even like it doesn't even matter you are the one black women matter Taylor black women matter we know black women matter

yeah matter yeah but mine doesn't really it doesn't do anything hold on one second we're gonna get to yours in a second y'all are the ones that proposed not me

Taylor Taylor hold on one second can we go Al can you please tell us what the deal is what I'm why don't we pop one of these for you I just turned 33 I got some time my hands aren't strong enough Taylor, hold on one second. Can we go out? Can you please tell us what the deal is? What? I'm.

When we pop on. I just turned 33. I got some time. My hands aren't strong enough to open. Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay. Now, listen. Tell me 100%.

All right. Tell me 100%. 100%. Why are you not engaged? And when are you getting engaged? And to whom? You're a piece of shit. You really are. You're a piece of shit to whom you're a piece of shit you really are you're a piece of shit why am i why are you doing this right now why do i'm just asking bro it's a

question i can't ask questions he doesn't want to see anyone else having fun if he can't have fun that's the thing bro if you hook up with one chick out here in these streets you'll be so fucking mad i'm not that i'm not out the game, but I will say this. I just turned 33. Marriage isn't my future, just not right now. He's Jordan, bro, and you're LeBron out here. And he's going to see you winning rings going, what the fuck is this? I'm going to drop my last dance, bro.

Drop my last dance. I'm not going to lie. I will say this, which is kind of lit, is that it's amazing how excited the fellas get about a bachelor party the second you post a picture of the ring. Because I had a group chat that had literally 200 messages in it. I looked out of my phone when I woke up the next morning, and then it was like 15 messages. And I was like, all right, the boys know. They're saying congratulations, et cetera. I look back like three minutes later, there's 200 messages going.

And the last one is from one of my homies that goes, all right, I'm gonna bring security. What are we doing? And we need security. So the bachelor party, I'm very excited about. Oh,

it's going to be gay people everywhere. That's my bachelor party. All right. So Al, so when do you think that you're getting lined up? We answered that already. Why are you nervous, bro? So we answered that already. Why are you nervous, dog?

So my foot's injured, son. Come on. I know your foot's injured. You're bullying me right now. But for real, you're getting so nervous. You're already being jealous, possessive,

cutting his foot. Let's let this man live. You know what I mean? I feel pain. I'm in pain right now. Wow. Yeah, why add to it by getting engaged? Yeah yo taylor so tell

us why i mean it wasn't nothing crazy like i went to we went to the jewelry store oh that's crazy oh shit and what and we just got some jewelry but the people there were really trying to like drill him like oh look at these rings he was was checking them out, though. So that's all I'm going to say. Would you marry him if he asked? Yeah. Ooh! Get it! Taylor's off the market.

Taylor's off the market. You lock it down. Yeah, you got to lock that dick down, though. You got to lock that dick down. You got to lock that dick down. We're obsessed with your boyfriend's dick here on Playground. It's got to name a whole episode after him. What's his name?

Thor, probably, because he got that fucking hammer. He got the hammer. The ring's got to be as many carats as his dick is long. Yeah, in centimeters. And no ring that big. I think that shit's 60. Y'all ever dicked yourself in centimeters? Yeah, of course.

What? Only way to do it. Measured yourself? Yeah, I'm like, yeah. Measured your dick in centimeters? And you guys said yes that's your european dick you know european dicks that's why i sound yeah that's how you do it yeah some girl asked how big is you go in america or in england

i'm only giving england from now on yeah what's an inch to centimeter how many centimeters are an inch akash go 2.54 it's three it's 3 it's like 3 in a little bit it's 3 in a little bit oh shit you boy out here swinging bro yo you boy out here swinging Akash you let down your Indian son look at that shit up

2.5 centimeters dumb mother fucker typical Al bro at an inches that's what I'm talking about you already know what's happening pretending something something typical Al adding inches typical Al pretending something something damn yeah but we're only

swinging European dick out yo European dick bro and you add that foreskin that's gotta be at least a little centimeter extra that's a couple centimeters

I think that's how you do it that's a bell bottom you should call that shit you're a bell bottom yeah I got the flare pants you got the flare dude you You got the flare, dude. You got the jean coats.

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Yeah, hey, Taylor. Yeah, my man got the snuffleupagus. Can we talk about this really quick? You got the snuffleupagus.

Yeah, I got the Lorax. Does your girl play with it a lot? Yeah, we play with it. Are you kidding? It's fun to play with it. Yes, she does. We hire M&Ms in there and then find them later. What are you talking about? Peanuts.

She makes him jump off the table and do a parachute. Yeah, come on. I hold the end. Seeing that shit just slowing himself down like that. It's amazing. You never jumped off the table with a full foreskin? With a full parachute? It's like an army man.

Grab the end and play double dutch. Come on, Taylor. What are you talking about? It's T. Yeah, you've never played with foreskin before come on And by the way, he got removed. They just keep it and play How are you gonna say when you're dressed like foreskin right now Taylor Jesus? Do as before as you look like a whole foreskin It's crazy that little headpiece talk it's crazy that little headpiece that you got right there what is that that's how it feels you pinch the tip you can pee in it for later that's her boyfriend's foreskin matter of fact no bullshit you could have chopped that off your man

yeah but you could have bleached it that's easy to do or turn it inside out uh-huh that force can look like it came from alex bro can we talk about a great point that you brought up yeah so for me and all my skinned brothers okay you made a point where you said the greatest marketing of all time is that we call it uncircumcised oh yeah i say you know jews are the greatest marketers of all time oh that's a good can you expand on this point please yeah so the the Jews are the best markers because we call his dick uncircumcised. I mean, you guys, yeah. As if he's the anomaly. As if he's the anomaly.

It should just be called dick and we should be called circumcised. But they made it seem like it's weird to not be circumcised. It is weird. And it is weird, but it's not. You guys are dickless.

But it is. That shit looks retarded. We are a little dickless, though. You guys are dickless. We are a little bit more dickless than he is. He has more dick than us. No, we don't. Yes, he does. Yep. He has more dick than us. little dickless, though. You guys are dickless. We are a little bit more dickless than he is. He has more dick than us. Yeah.

Yes, he does. Yep. He has more dick than us. You know why, though? No, no, no. He has more of his dick than us. Oh, okay. Original dick, 100%.

You, not quite. A minus. Wait, yours? Uncircumcised, too? No. We call it dickless. No, no, no. We don't call it that.

Dicked or dickless? Which are you? No, we don't call it that. No, we don't call it that. I'm dicked. I'm fully dicked. No, we don't call it that. No, we don't call it that. I'm dicked. I'm fully dicked. No, we don't call it that, bro. You have all of your dick.

I'm fully dicked. You're not fully dicked. Yeah, I'm dicked down. No, you're not fully dicked, dude. No, because there's parts of your dick you're missing. Not where? The most of it. What?

I have a question. What are you talking about? No, you're all foreskin, bro. I've seen you pee, dude. Don't say that. Also, dude, honestly, I don't know if you even have a head. It does not look like a Santa hat.

Is that what you're trying to say? No, I'm being honest. I think your dick is just like a garden hose, but it doesn't have the mushroom part. Because when you pee, that shit sounds hella disorganized. No, your pee is mad disorganized. What do you mean disorganized? I don't know. When you pee, like...

It's everywhere? Like a sawed-off shotgun? Yeah. Like when you hold in the tip Of the fucking garden hose Yeah It's like You're trying to make sure

That like a golf course is watered That's what a man's pee sounds like I don't know dude Cause your shit goes everywhere Yeah you can't control it dog I think you might have a Poo say At the end of your dick

You might have a whole Poo say at the end of your dick That's what it sounds like When girls pee It sounds like that When girls pee Wait what Yes You know how when you pee It sounds like that when girls pee. Wait, what?

Yes. You know how when you pee, it sounds like quiffs? Yeah, exactly. No. That is true. When girls pee, it's like a kid's birthday slip and slide.

Yo. That's true. It is also true. That is a good point to make. There's just water everywhere. Well, I have a question. When you get older, is your foreskin or whatever,

is it going to shrivel up because you're getting old? It gets longer. It gets longer. Big ears and foreskin never stop growing is it going to shrivel up because you're getting old? It gets longer. It gets longer. Big ears and foreskin never stop growing. It's like dreads. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

You just never cut it. Yeah. It's like an elf going to sleep with a cute hat that hangs down. It's crazy. Once I saw it hang out of the short. I don't want to think about this anymore. It's nuts, dude. His is weird.

He keeps things in him. I saw a lifesaver in it one time. Yeah, I keep quarters and nickels. Yeah. I hate you. For real. Yeah, for real. Yeah. For real.

You ever go to the store and they're like, oh, it's 22 cents, and then you just throw it out of your foreskin? You never done that? Like Robin Hood? Yeah, like a Pez container just pulls the top back and just shoots it out. Yeah, it's a coin purse, Taylor. It's functional, unlike you guys. Yeah, I don't have that.

Yeah. Are you? I'm Circed. You are Circed? I am Circed. Is that in India? Do they do that? I don't have that yeah are you i'm circ'd you are circ'd i am circ'd is that in india do they do that i don't know i know i am but i do know some indians who are not who are not circ'd no they're fully dicked but muslims get cut don't they muslims get that circ'd yeah man and women yeah man and women they're the most progressive both of them get circumcised. That's true equality. Women ask each other, are you circumcised or uncircumcised? Yeah.

100. 100%. 100%. And do you think, oh my God, hold on. I know where you're going. Do you think- Guys hook up with girls and go, oh, gross, circumcised. No, but yes.

What? You know how we judge Mark because his dick looks gross? Do you think that there are Muslim women that come from circumcised places that judge uncircumcised Muslim women? Is it so normalized? Is female circumcision so normalized

that women who are uncircumcised are judged by those that are? In the same way we're judging Mark. What's women being uncircumcised? There are parts of the world where they cut girls' clits off. Yeah.

Why? They call it circumcision to make it better, but it's just... Yeah, it's female genital mutilation. So they don't feel no type of... What happens when they have sex? That's how they feel. That's how their dicks are.

It's just bare to the world. Taking all the wind and... No one really seems to care that we're just chopping off guys' cocks. Did you know your dick feels less than me? No, it's not true. It is true. It feels more, actually. No, how? You're a raw dog in the whole world all the wind and no one really seems to care that we're just chopping off guys cocks yeah did you know your dick feels less than me no it's not true it is true no no how you feel more you're raw dog in the whole world all the time i've heard y'all are more sensitive yeah yeah you guys are more it's emo emo dick it's more emo yeah yeah my pubes have you got that you got that kid cuddy ironically yeah it's more sensitive because when he does insert it, the skin pulls back.

So they didn't feel that sensation. When you call them fucking biologists, how do you know all this? I've dealt with it. Dealt with? Yeah, shit. He's been on the front lines. He's been bad in school. I was so happy my next guy was not fat.

No offense. But I'm just saying. That was all offense right there. Be honest with us. It stinks. Technically, it's not healthy for a woman. How? Actually, I push back on that.

Yeah, thank you. No, it is, though. No, that's true. Mark's isn't healthy because he doesn't wash it regularly. That is true. Mine's unhealthy for everyone. Okay, even me, probably. Most are healthy?

Most, I think, are healthy. I think that's the way Dick is supposed to be. I don't think so. Dick is supposed to come with some firmendiches. Yeah. Do you know what that is? Yeah. Firmendiches?

Yeah. I think I know. Y'all, well, I'm just saying, especially if the guy goes wrong, it's going to be a health hazard to women. But then why would God make it like that? Yeah. Why would God make men designed to be dick cut off at birth? Mm-hmm.

God didn't give you piercings, but that looks good. Yeah, it looks good. It's different than it's unnatural to have sex, or like it's not healthy to have sex. Yo, God didn't make your nails stop when it goes to the end of your finger, but you do that. I'm just saying, we augment our bodies and it looks better sometimes. God didn't make you have perfect teeth, but sometimes you get

braces. I'm just saying, maybe God was like, yo, they're gonna figure it out. They're going to fix those dicks. And plus, God sometimes is making anybody too, though, so you can't really do it. Like who? You know how we just be walking around, especially in New York, like, damn,

God is making anybody. Yeah, with Lizzo, right? No, don't do that! Alright, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because your bald hair is too long. You got to get that shit right. I don't care if it's winter and it's getting a little chilly down there and you want to warm up. There's no excuse, okay? Put on a better pair of underwear. There's no excuse.

You got to have them trimmed. And I know why you're not trimming them because it takes time. It does take time, and that's what's fucking annoying about it. You're like, when am I going to dedicate a good half hour to really get in there, use multiple tools? No, no, no, no. You know how you stop that time? Manscaped. Simple as that. Manscaped comes in. I swear to God, it will take a tenth of the time.

A few minutes. They got the different levels on the trimmer just like you're at the barber. You give that shape up. Okay? I'm taking that bush down, right? But then I'm going right to the skin when it comes to the testicles. All right? My testicles looking like Jordan. That's right. Slick back, shaving, nothing there. I think. Was Jordan the right one to go with? I didn't know any bald white guy. Rick Barry?

My balls looking like Rick Barry or Brent Barry. One of them Barrys. Manscaped.com, I'm telling you. You go to manscaped.com and you use that code flagrant and you're going to get 20% off. Simple as that 20 off to have your balls looking like a berry that's a no-brainer let's get back to the show beautiful don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do that beyonce's beautiful you mean like on the inside beautiful you mean like on the inside no she's not ugly but not objectively

beautiful like if we're but not objectively beautiful. Like if we're going to say objectively beautiful. You're talking about the size. I'm not talking about personality. I'm literally talking about like, what is it, the word I'm looking for? When you can divide something evenly. Symmetry. Symmetry.

Yeah, symmetry. Attractive. In terms of symmetry of face. Like they say, for example, Denzel Washington, the reason why he was looked as so beautiful is because he has perfect symmetry in his face. You can cut his face in half and both are exactly equal. I believe it. Okay? I believe that. You cut Lizzo's face in half, there's going to be an apple split as well.

No, I'm not doing this. Nope. I love Lizzo. Nope. That shit's going to look like a luau. There's going to be some hungry, hungry Hawaiians around that shit. No? We're not doing that we're not okay it just took me a second to get it i'd be slow on the jokes that was good

there's people that out here that guy just be making anybody yes yes obviously that does happen but i do think it's unfair that we have to only judge blizzzo based on her beauty like why can't we judge her based on her talent why can't we judge her based on her talent? Why can't we judge her based on her personality? She has amazing talent too. Honestly, she's like the Beyonce of big girls. Like, performance wise. Yeah.

Yo. No, and again, I'm not questioning that. I'm not questioning it. But what I'm saying is she doesn't also have to be beautiful. She's a Beyonce of big girls? Nah, I believe that. But we do this weird thing with women, right? Where we go like, when they're good at anything,

when they're good at anything, we go, and they're also beautiful. Because women aren't allowed to just be good at shit. Why can't women just be good at shit? Put on those glasses, got mad woke. Oh, shit. You looking like a king, king. Oh, shit. Thanks, king.

I appreciate you, king. I appreciate you. You know what I mean? Y'all ain't there yet. So do you think Lizzo sells less Alright Taylor So do you think Lizzo sells less tickets At her concert

Because total size Well they just gotta buy Like you talk about They like take up They gotta buy more They gotta buy two seats Like on an airplane Yeah how does that work

Wait what Her fans Yeah Why do you think her fans Are big You just said Wait a minute, are you talking about the things that cool her down or the people that are I hate y'all.

I hate y'all. Because the people that are in the stadium. Why do you think they have to be big too? I don't know anything about Lizzo Smith.. They don't have to be big though. When Jeremy Lin was killing it with the Knicks, there was a lot of Asians in the crowd. That's all I got to say.

I don't know anything about Lizzo's fans, but you just said she was the Beyonce of big girls. Because Lizzo fans have a lot of LGBTQ. So does Beyonce. Okay. Is that a sandwich that she likes to order? Stop! I hate y'all y'all

oh my god y'all she be in a deli like can I get an LGBT can I get an LGBT alright please

I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just took a DNA test turns out I need to lower my cholesterol not laughing at this at all oh my god come on Taylor come on

Lizzo's my girl like I love Lizzo her music does make you feel like a bad bitch though Lizzo I love Lizzo I love Lizzo too. You can love people

that aren't alright looking. Yeah. There's more to love, yo. Why do these people all the time? So why do you call her, why do you not think she's beautiful?

I think she's alright. Why can't I be objective about that? But what's alright though about her? Because of her size? Yeah. That's it.

Her face is alright. Butt is alright. Actually, I'm not even into the butt. She don't got much butt. It's unfortunate that women can't just be talented. That's what I feel. They don't got much butt. It's unfortunate that women can't just be talented. That's what I feel.

They can. The feminist that is me, that women can't just be. Yo, why can't Taylor, why can't you just be great at your job? Why you got to be beautiful and great at your job? Nobody goes to me, yo, Andrew, you're beautiful and you're great at your job. I just happen to be that. First of all, Andrew, people be calling you sexy and everything else like that. Shit, keep going, girl that Shit, keep going, girl

You don't need these bifocals to know that Let's go Lizzo You think that she was trying to say let's go But then ate the tea God damn We're not talking about Lizzo. We're not talking about my girl no more.

Yo, it's jokes though. Come on, Al. Are we off, Al, or what? Nah, we good. We right on point. That's it. We're good. Yo, I literally don't think there's anything wrong with Lizzo.

I just hate it. Every musician. If everyone was fat in the world, would y'all still be saying something about her? Yo, here's a good example. Go, Al, go. Make some sense of it. I don't understand. Adele is an attractive fat.

Okay. Lizzo's not. Like, she's not super ugly, but she's just not in a- Let the comment section go wild. Oh, Al Wood. Wow. Love the fat white girl. Okay, no, I'll give you another one.

Jill Scott is an attractive fat. Now we talking, bro. Lizzo is not. What? Why are you saying that she's not attractive? You're saying Lizzo is as attractive fat. Now we talking, bro. Lizzo is not. Why? Why are you saying that she's not attractive? You're saying Lizzo is as attractive

as Jill Scott? Yes. You lying. You lying. You lying. But you're only saying that because she shakes her ass and everything else

and y'all don't want to see that. I don't think Ruben Studdard is sexy. You know what I mean? Who's a sexy fat guy? I don't know. Patrice wasn't sexy to me. Yeah, but there's probably

a good looking fat guy. The guy from Day 26, he was mad fine. Y'all not gonna know. Yeah, we're not gonna know that. Point is, you can be beautiful and fat. We're just saying, objectively speaking, Lizzo is not that beautiful. That doesn't take away from how talented she is. Yeah, but I think it also comes with a person that's judging him too.

Like, fat isn't your type. It could be type for someone else. I think it also comes with a person that's judging him, too. Like, that isn't your type. It could be type for someone else. I think it's type two. I think that's what type it is. I think that's what we need to be concerned about. This is a health issue. Okay? Let's be honest.

What's more swollen, Lizzo or Alex's foot? I'm picking, well, wait, swollen? I or alex's foot i'm picking well wait swollen i'm picking alex's foot wow and i hate the fact like i hate that these conversations come to this shit because it's like don't you as a woman want to be able to just be talented and that's enough like i hate it if i was beautiful and talented i know but it sucks that y'all want to be that like guys we don't feel that pressure like if a guy is just talented we're like that's lit that's enough that's great but if a girl is talented and ugly she's still tight she's still putting on tons of makeup doing all this other shit while dudes aren't doing nothing because you're like oh you respect me for what i do great it's society i don't know fuck that part of society let these ugly bitches be talented

that's all we're saying but that's not ugly say what she's all we're saying. Lito's not ugly. Say what? She's not ugly. We're not saying she's ugly. She's all right. She's fine. She's all right. What do you give her on an earthquake scale?

But technically, everybody's eyes. I was going to go with Richter, but I feel like people might not know it. But technically, everyone's eyes without makeup, though. Say what? Everyone's eyes without makeup. That's not true. No, you're lying, bro. That's not true. There are some people that are naturallyight without makeup, though. Say what? Everyone's aight without makeup. That's not true. No, you lying, bro. That's not true.

There are some people that are naturally beautiful without makeup. Like, naturally mad beautiful. Who? My girl. Smart. Smart. My fiance. I'm sorry.

Okay. Okay. Yo, your fiance bad without makeup? Gorgeous. Better. Your girl bad without makeup? Sexy. Yo, your wife bad without makeup?

Yes. Yes. Yes. That's what I'm talking about. Your girl bad without makeup? Sexy. Your wife bad without makeup? Yes, yes, yes. That's what I'm talking about. Okay? I just took a DNA test. What does it turn out? Turns out. What are you?

Shit. I claim to be one thing. I might be another. Yo, we should all take DNA tests, quite frankly. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. I'll just let one rip he the cat is out the bag

i'll just let the cat out the bag i think he was talking about he would let something fly yeah anyway point is ladies y'all should be allowed to be talented without this pressure to be beautiful too you know what i mean you know what the problem is? What is it? The problem is us men are shallow about the wrong things. Yep. Women are shallow

about the right things. Speak, King. Women are shallow about how successful and great a man is while men are shallow about how

aesthetically beautiful she is. That's our insecurity that we're going to show off our beautiful girl to the world. That's right. that we're going to show off our beautiful girl to the world. That's right. And if we were only more shallow about

how successful y'all were, then you would care more about that success and not give a flying fuck if you were good looking or not. So it's up to us to be more shallow

about your careers and less shallow about your looks. But that shit ain't going to happen. It might happen about your careers and less shallow about your looks. But that shit ain't gonna happen. It might happen now with our generation. That's the perfect thing to do once you get engaged. Be like, nah, what we need to start doing is care about

what these women do for a living. Y'all gonna be the first generation to start that shit. So with that said, yo, Taylor, your career is mad sexy, yo. start that shit. So with that said, yo, Taylor, your career is mad sexy, yo. Oh, shit. Mad sexy, yo. Yeah, I cannot say that.

How do y'all feel like saying that to me when I'm dressed like a man? Because we don't focus on that, Taylor. It's way easier. We focus on your accomplishments. Yeah, your accomplishments. I think it's the second you put on white fakes, Alex is really starting to... I see that, too. I think it's the second you put on white fakes, Alex is really starting to... Yes, I see that too. I see that too.

I've never got a compliment like that. I've never got a compliment like that. Let's be clear. I went for it. He was like, mm-hmm. Okay, my little snow pony. Give me the eyebrow and a wink too. Say what?

Give me an eyebrow and a wink. He gave the eyebrow and a wink. Yo, that's disrespectful, yo. Her boyfriend might come over here and beat you with his dick. Indiana Jones. Bro, his dick's got a handle for sure, right? Yo, before your boyfriend fights,

you have to sling his dick over his shoulders. He does dips with the dick over his shoulder, like a chain. I hate you. Yo, is that what hit the rock in his forehead that made him bleed over the weekend? Am I the only one that follows the rock? I guess I'm the only one that follows the rock. We fuck with the rock in his forehead that made him bleed over the weekend? Am I the only one that follows the rock? I guess I'm the only one that follows the rock.

We ain't commenting on my Instagram. We ain't putting no dicks on a rock, son. That's all man right there. Yeah, I fucked up. Yo, my bad, Rocky. Don't call him Rocky ever again. My hair is getting in my mouth. Am I fucking up? You giving him cute little dick names and shit? Rocasito up? Yeah, you giving them cute little nicknames and shit?

Rocasito, my bad, Rocasito. Put your big biceps. Yeah, you know what I mean? Swole-ass motherfucker. What's your cheat day? I gave you a cheat day. I got some dessert for you, Roc. I got some tasty treats if you want them.

You look like a dessert. All y'all look like desserts today. Real talk, Cinnabon-looking ass motherfuckers. God damn! He looks like Cinnamon Toast Crunch right now, for sure. Real talk. Where's the milk? I'll provide it.

It's on Akash's face. I got it. I got his face. I look like a caramel shake, yo. Put a little red nose right here. You look like a powdered donut. You look like a pumpkin shake, yo. Put a little red nose right here. You look like a powdered donut. You look like a pumpkin spice latte, bro. There's white on the top, brown underneath.

What's white? Pumpkin spice latte? On Miss Doubtfire when he put the whipped cream on his face. Oh, God. All right, guys. Let's talk about some actual tings that happened this week. Did y'all see Borat? Yes. I asked everybody to try to watch Borat, that trash All right, guys. Let's talk about some actual tings that happened this week. Did y'all see Borat? Yes.

I asked everybody to try to watch Borat, that trash-ass fucking movie. Did y'all watch the whole thing? Be honest. How far did you get in? I got through it. You got through the whole thing? I got through it. Did you watch the whole thing?

I got through the whole thing because you said we have to watch this shit. I tried. I got through 25 minutes, and I had to turn it off. Did you see the Giuliani thing? That's the thing worth watching. Yeah, that was the part. That was the main thing we had to turn it off. Did you see the Giuliani thing? That's the thing worth watching. Yeah, that was the part. That was the main thing we had to see in it.

Bro, I literally... You're fucking kidding me, yo. I know, right? You didn't watch the Giuliani part? I didn't watch that part. I didn't fucking kid you. Yo, real talk, real talk. I don't even think

he watched 20 minutes. So, I swear to God I watched 20 minutes. What happens the first 30 minutes? That's not good. Yeah, what happens the first 30 minutes? I swear to God I watched

20 minutes. No, no, no. What happens the first 30 minutes? What happens the first 30 minutes? Oh, Bor good. No, yeah, what happens in the first 30 minutes? I swear to God, I'll watch it. No, no, no, no. What happens in the first 30 minutes? What happens in the first 30 minutes? Oh, Borat drops a bottle and cuts his foot. You know, and then he goes to the hospital.

He's like, oh, my foot, my wife. Those Jews. The Jews broke my foot. Okay, first 20 minutes, he's locked up. He was in Kazakhstan. They take him out.

He's like, we want you to deliver this monkey to Mike Pence. And then he does throw things where he sees his girl or his daughter. He meets his daughter. Yeah. Right. And then he does throw things where he sees his girl or his daughter. He meets his daughter.

Yeah. Right. And then he goes to America. And then the daughter is. Oh, spoiler alert. Sorry. Spoiler. Yeah.

I saw the first 25 minutes. Okay. I swear to God. Is that right? I didn't watch that shit. So it's literally unwatchable. If you guys were thinking of watching it, it is mind bogglingly how unfunny Sasha Barricone is.

I was watching it with my girl and she literally turns to how is mind-boggling how unfunny sasha barricone is i was watching it with my girl and she literally turns to me at one point my fiance excuse me and uh she turns to me at one point she goes she goes did we find this funny when we were kids it's not as good and there's and i want to hear you guys thoughts as to why you thought it wasn't as good because i i think there's a specific reason. You think, because you only watched 20 minutes of the fucking movie. I want to hear about the Giuliani thing, but just the first 25 minutes, and then I turned the fucking thing off.

It was so bad. I think he's not funny enough where if people know that it's a joke, they'll still laugh. He's funny enough where if it's a prank, and that person doesn't know that it's him, we're laughing at that person reacting to him being serious. Yes, yes.

But he's not comedically talented enough to write jokes that permeate the person being in on the joke. The first 25 minutes really just showed people having a great sense of humor. They were half in on it, half not. You know what I mean? I laughed once at the guy at the phone store because that guy didn't know what he was or what he was doing. But anybody that knew what he was into or got the game more or less and they were going along with it, I was like this is unwatchable.

And it really exposed how like unfunny he is. Yeah. His real – honestly like the real thing that like is so amazing about him is his balls. Yeah, he's brave. He's brave. And I admire bravery. Don't get me wrong. But his bravery is mitigated when everybody knows who he is.

It's like his career can only hit a certain level because his career is based on you not knowing who he is. And once knowing him is ubiquitous, right? Once we all know him, you've killed your own career because you're not funny enough to actually write jokes that people who know that you're making jokes will laugh at. Each character gets like a movie. He does address that. Each character gets one movie and then it's out. He does address that. But in the beginning.

Yeah. In the beginning, he tries to do it. Everybody knows me. So the device is I'm gonna have my daughter yes which will essentially be me but the daughter can't really live

without him I mean that's why the daughter's like can I be a journalist too etc and the jokes are kind of fine because that's the only way you can make it work

exactly but I don't say that he's not funny enough he's not just not our kind of funny yeah his funny is his boss

but that is to be admired and then when he's in that character, he can say funny things. Like in the first Borat, when he asked the feminist what she believes, and she's like,

man, you know, men and women are equal. And then he just laughs in her face. That's like a funny thing. It's hilarious. Yes. But then you know the game and you're like,

oh, this is just what you do. You're just going to say it. Once you know the character's him, it's like, okay, there's nothing to do. And so they had to maneuver around it. And the first one, that wasn't the case

and that's why it was so funny because nobody knew and it was brilliant and Ali G was brilliant I used to love watching him prank the people that was great

but it's no different than any other prank show like we acted like I think he likes to see because he's like an Oxford educated dude he likes to see himself doing like some

like cultural satire and I see what he does as no different than what the Nelk boys do. Like there's this kid who's absolutely hilarious, Salim, he's on Instagram. Fucking, and he goes up to people and he moans in their ear.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is, there's no difference between moaning in someone's ear in the grocery store and like trying to do this like culturally savvy thing. And I'm gonna use sexism as a game to have some meta joke about how we view women in this world. It's like that wasn't the funny part.

It's just funny that that person doesn't know that you're making jokes. I'm going to push back a bit. Go, go, go, go, go. Push back. Yeah. It is in the same way that people in an audience just laugh at stand-up jokes and like it's funny or it's not. And then we, who actually do the thing, are like, nah, there's more elevated stuff to this, to what we're doing. Yeah.

I think there's more elevated stuff. And like the character he's playing is different than just moaning in an ear it's a character now what i don't like about it is i think he's poking fun at he's looking down on a lot of people from kind of a condescending place and it's like you haven't seen this part but obviously he's a jewish king keep going the only part that that has jews he goes into a synagogue and he does his jokes of like, oh, you're the devil. Please don't eat me, whatever.

But then he shows the sweetest, most accepting, open-minded Jewish woman in the world. She's fucking amazing. She's like Gila. You love this woman. Exactly. That's the only depiction you have

of a Jewish person. And then everything else is jokes about Middle Eastern people and how they hate women. Toothless white people. Or redneck and how they're stupid. Kazakhstanis are, I mean like

the fact that he acts like he's doing something that's like uh against racism i think his charity is like stop hate for profit i don't know if that's sarcasm or not can you look it up but that's what's on his twitter it's stop hate for profit i think is his charity and it's just like that's your life yes your life is profiting off of hate and like finding people and making them look the most hateful as they possibly can be. And if he made fun of Jews too and everybody got that smoke,

hey, I can't hate on him. So Kazakhstanis, I wonder how Kazakhstanis feel about it. They're pedophiles. They incest. They fuck their sister. They live in these, what's that? It's not his charity,

but it is like a movement. It's an actual real movement? Yeah, it's against like, it's against like Facebook ads. It's an actual real movement? Yeah, it's against like Facebook ads. But how detached can you be? You promote the same hate. You are Facebook. All you do is a movie.

I think he would say, well, I'm playing a character and I don't believe that. But what you're doing is selectively editing these clips and finding ways to make these people look as racist as they possibly can, as misogynistic as they possibly these people look as racist as they possibly can. As misogynistic as they possibly can. As misogynistic as they possibly can.

As sexist as they possibly can. And then cutting all the stuff that makes people, especially Americans, because this is a satire in America, Americans that don't look like that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You're cutting every single bit of footage that shows, yeah, Americans are pretty reasonable and they just don't really care about your little... There are funny bits within it, though. It's not nearly as good as the first one so it can't be he was so funny i just want to point out when i thought he was so hilarious and there were some amazing

pieces that he did yeah in the past even the who is america stuff i thought was there were funny sketches i couldn't get through a lot of who's america really i didn't see full episode i just saw sketches and he also does expose a lot of like you're like wow there's some truly dumb people in america and those are southerners i don't i feel bad looking down but you're like wow you really believe this shit huh you're like truly internet educated you can find those people in the north too yeah he just takes tropes and that's what i don't like because if like you said if somebody did that with jews he would feel a certain way with that like if somebody did that with muslims muslims would feel a it. It's so easy to just handpick groups

that you already have these stereotypes about and then lean into those. Yeah. It's very low-hanging fruit and I think the reason why you felt the way you did

was because the first one came out in 2006. Yep. We were early 20s. Kids, yeah. And the stuff that he was saying was even way more edgy

than this one was. So it's like, we're young, our brains aren't as woke as we are now. Also's it's funny it might not be as funny as that point say your points like our brains weren't as like necessarily woke as we are now so to be a young 20 year old and you just see this guy just ripping cultures and being silly about it and this is on movie theaters you're like holy shit this guy's insane and we're laughing at the fact that he's has so much balls to say that type of shit right now we're looking at it's like oh this is not you're not

really taking that big of a risk because now it's like we know you're just playing a game and me watching this now it was so bad because i see the cuts in it and because i'm on the production side so i see half the things that i thought he was getting away with saying he isn't he says the shit after the fact and then they just cut a regular response like it's so bad yeah it's so fake and that's what pissed me off to respond to that yeah to respond to that is it like if he's saying things when they're not there one now you lose all the bravery yeah right and two you're not representing their response yeah it's not real but the first one's like that too i watched the first one first one's like that too. I watched the first one right after. So he's a fraud.

I watched the first one right after. And there's times that you can see when he's talking to somebody, there's a completely different angle. And the time of day, you can tell like the lighting is different. So I think he was in a lawsuit. I'm pretty sure over the first one

that I'm pretty sure he was on a bus with a bunch of kids and they were talking about it. And then the kids, they were like college kids at like some college yeah University of South Carolina or something like that

or like some southern boys he gets them drunk gets them drunk and starts saying wild shit and I think they sued him and I think they settled I'm not positive the details

they were saying it's a wild shit I remember that but they were like oh I was baited we didn't get permission to be whatever like he entrapped us

whatever whatever cause he this shit they were saying like a lot of N-word shit and all that. Was it? I can't defend that. I'm pretty sure it's a... Don't put the N-word on somebody if you don't know for a fact. It was racist stuff. I don't actually remember them saying the N-word.

But they were just saying how women are lower class citizens. They're just there. One dude was just like, oh, I don't respect women. I just fuck them and that's it. They were saying some real chauvinistic shit. And it's like, the way it's cut, it's so bad. I think the judge and that's it. They would say some real chauvinistic shit. And it's like the way it's cut, it's so bad. I think the judge sided with Borat.

They did side with Borat. But the point is, you kind of got to be a bad person to do that to somebody. And you justify it through going, well, look at these evil people. I'm just poking fun at people who are evil. And it's like's like well you're kind of putting them in situations so they're evil yeah right like they're not going up to you and saying hey can i say the n-word on your camera can you promote it to the entire world you're getting them drunk and charging them up and like making them be like fratted out bros to say stupid shit yeah i think you told them like the movie will never be

shown in america You're lying to them about what it is. It's like going in the locker room, recording the conversation, and then just putting it for the world to see. But at the same time, you shouldn't say racist shit

on camera. Exactly. No one's giving pushback, real quick, no one's giving pushback to that, right? You shouldn't be saying this stuff, but there is something

to be said about a dude who like, just him in general the older i get the more i realize what a fucking scumbag this dude sasha baron cone is it's like you really are just gonna like take advantage of people's kindness especially their kindness in like bringing you into their home like people bring them into their home bring them into their businesses bring them into their work right like they welcome him willingly try to make him feel uncomfortable and then he he like sneaks in slimy,

sneaks and takes advantage of them, makes them look as bad as they possibly can to make millions of dollars and ruins their reputation in their own community. You gotta be a horrible, like human being to live with that. And then you go masquerade or stop hate for profit. Shut the fuck up. Like,

who the fuck are you? You are hate for profit. Yeah. He plays on a lot of tropes and i actually liked certain scenes like he goes and stays with those dudes who i was saying like oh they're pretty dumb yeah but the dudes don't really say anything racist they're like death to democrats democrats did this i don't and maybe i'm misremembering but i don't remember them being like i thought the show was about to get uncomfortably racist and then and it didn't they hate the fuck out of Democrats. And Wuhan might have been started in China or something like that,

but not like, you know, these fucking, and then racial slur, racial slur, racial slur. So it almost like, I almost looked at it like, oh, look, we're not as hateful as you think. We put up with a lot of your shit. We invite you into our home and we won't have it, but we're not as hateful as you think. Let me ask you a question, Akash.

How would you feel as an Indian, right? Yeah. If an English person went to India, that's what Sacha Baron Cohen is, English, went to India and did a whole fucking movie about how dumb Indians are, how backwards Indians are, how racist, how hateful Indians are. 100% wouldn't like it. 100%. Why do Americans, why do we let other motherfuckers, outsiders, come into our shit and become millionaire and celebrities clowning us? And again, the thing that bothers me, the thing I respect about us is everybody gets smoked. Everyone gets smoked.

I'll make fun of Indians. You'll make fun of white people. But that's family business, though. That's what I'm saying. That's us. We could do it because we live it. We're friends. We know each other.

Who are these fucking outsiders coming here acting like they know our culture and they talking about our shit? But if we were selective, if every time you made an Indian joke, I was like, yo, cut that out of the podcast, yo. That's not cool. Leave that out. Don't put that in. Then it'd be like, yo, you're being selective about who you make fun of. Fuck you.

Sacha Baron Cohen. There's a lot of jokes about anti-Semitism and killing Jews and whatever, but he doesn't ever poke fun. You could poke fun at some stuff in the Jewish culture. Everybody could get them jokes. If everybody got them jokes, I'd be with it. Everybody. Just the shit he was like constantly getting at Jews,

the way he was doing it, it was uncomfortable. It was like so cringy. Because he's trying to trigger a reaction which would agree with it, right? Yeah, and I'm just like. Remember he did that joke about like, how many would kill a gypsy? If I want to kill 20 gypsies with the tank of gas or

whatever like i laughed at that because it's a crazy thing to say to somebody it's a crazy line right it's crazy how the guy just responds very he's like yeah you need the bigger one yeah you need the bigger but he's in on the he's like i know what you're doing buddy i'll play this fucking game with you you know i don't know i just like to me like there's something wrong with you bro there's still some ballsy shit, though. There's no love. Sorry to interrupt, but there's no love in it, bro. I don't know, man. I think I come from a place where I make fun of motherfuckers for a living,

but there's love in it. You know what I'm saying? If I'm making fun of you, you know that there's love. I know something about your culture. I appreciate that thing about your culture, and you kind of feel safe with it, right? And I'm not trying to do a comparison thing,

but there's love in that roast, you know? And I don't see any love in this man i don't see him going i think southern culture is beautiful and fun and these guys are great characters and like i just wanted to showcase how they're fun but also showcase some other shit this is just you're dumb i wish they showed the punk moment that would make it a little bit better oh when they showcase how it's been yeah like it just show after the fact just like hey guys i'm just being silly with you so like at least lift that down so i don't feel bad for that person that you just used you used bro to you know does that make it does it yeah there's gotta be heart in it there's gotta be some heart in it bro yeah i mean

it doesn't have to be but like otherwise it just kind of sits word bro i swear to god we put out clips every week i i defy you to find a clip where you don't see some fucking heart in it, bro. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't have to be, but otherwise, it just kind of sits where it is. Bro, I swear to God, we put out clips every week. I defy you to find a clip where you don't see some fucking heart in it, bro. I don't care how vicious the roast is. It's not fun for me

if I'm making someone feel horrible, man. That's not what I'm into. Do you know what I mean? It's like, we're roasting you because we love you, bro. Yeah, it's not.

That's what it's about. That's what we do on this podcast. This is what everybody feels safe to get made fun of on this podcast this is what everybody feels safe to get made fun of on this podcast y'all will kill me on this very podcast about personal shit

I don't care we just spent the first 10 minutes ripping you there's some love in it it's like when I see a whole movie there's no love in it and I know you're

making money off it you didn't see the whole movie you right when I see 22 minutes of a movie with no love in it bro and you're just making money I'm like oh you're just profiting

off of hate. You're just doing that shit that you say you're against, bro. You should watch the Giuliani shit, though, because it's wild. Tell me about the Giuliani shit. Break down the Giuliani shit.

You want to help here, chime in, anything I miss? This girl, that's female, Borat, is interviewing Giuliani. Yep. And she's flirting with him a little bit.

Touching his knee and shit. Touching his knee. But Giuliani's not at all not with it. And then they go into his room he lays down in the bed he's like let me get your name and number starts taking off his pants and it's like that's not what he did he unzips his pants they go to they go to the bedroom and she's taking off his uh microphone so to take off the lapel mic you have to unbutton your shirt and then once he buttons his shirt back he goes

lays back and takes the shirt and tucks it into his pants it looks like he's just taking his hands and going down and grabbing his dick or whatever the case is but if you really look at it closely he is tucking his shirt in yeah that's what i read so he's just an old man who had to lay back in order to tuck his shirt in that's the funny part they edit it in a way that makes him look like he's gonna do some foul shit yeah withy. And that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, they edit another one like they hold hands. But I think they held hands in order to pray or some shit. But they make it look like he's just trying to hold her hands or something.

They're being tricky with it. Yeah. And so now you're just lying about it. I didn't like that shit at all. That's corny. And you're using camera tricks and cuts to make people look bad. That's the case. I thought he's laying down. And most people are like you.

And most people are like you, right? And that's the thing, you know it's bullshit because it never caught any steam. Nothing ever happened. No one really actually looked at it with any credibility because they're like,

yeah, it's probably not. That's something that Americans, and every country should do this, but like, yo, that's family business. And if a motherfucker's going to talk about the family, you better come correct. And if you're using angles

and lies and all this other shit to make money off of us talking about the family, I got a little issue with issue with that man and you could tell he was even trying to make it click baity because he says no that's my daughter she's 15 like this girl looks like a woman and she's interviewing you as like a fucking news anchor so why would juliana think in his head that i'm being interviewed by a 15 year old girl but then he like runs in the room he's like no no that's my daughter she's 15 she's 15 but he's like just saying this in that moment and giuliani's like getting up he's like he's probably just startled like what the fuck is

going on you see borat come in with the fucking g-string or some shit like that so it's just a wild moment and they just try to make it look way worse than what really happened why is she taking off his lapel mic because they just finished the interview why is she that's normal bro like yeah like sometimes i've had to put lapel on somebody how many times you've been at mtv filming guy code and then they take your shit off like literally every episode they would take usually just hand it to me and i put it on really they hide they don't hide it for you specifically with the clothing that you do or do a specific sticky thing i usually i usually do it really uh maybe there's times and i can't remember but there's been times i've put on a lapel mic on someone and then i definitely ask

them like hey do you want to take this off yourself like if it's a woman or whatever i and a dude like you want to take it off or you want me to put it on like whatever the case is like so yes of course she was trying to make it seem like it was something more than it is by touching him and things like that but it really didn't see sexual nature to me and he does and i'll be honest about i will say he does some creepy shit where like it's like you can't tell if it's old man shit or if it's him actually being creepy but he'll like pet her back like while she he's like sitting there she like leans over like takes the pedal off and he like kind of like pats her back a little bit like right above her butt like it's not like explicitly sexual but it's kind of like

i wouldn't want someone doing that to my girl you know what i mean i'm not defending giuliani i saw a little bit just of that because I saw that story popping up. I'm not defending Giuliani. Again, I don't know. He might be a creep. He could be a creep. I don't think this thing proves it. Exactly.

He could be a creep and it shows that he's a little creepy and they could be fucked up in the way that they edited. Yeah. That I can. Yeah. Both things are wrong. Is that fair to say? Yeah. Both things can be true.

Yeah. So it's just like, I don't know, man. It's a bummer, man. Because that motherfucker was so funny when we were younger. I used to look up to him. I'm telling you, I think it was because we were young. I think it was because we were young. Yo, Robbie brought up a funny clip.

Remember the one where, what was the shorty? She was the dancing girl. She did like a- Lunel or whatever. Nah, nah, nah. She was, he was interviewing this girl. She was on like American Idol, I think, in the beginning. She was one of the judges of American Idol.

Paul Abdul? Paul Abdul. Oh, yeah. The dancing girl? No, she wasn't known for dancing. She was really good at dancing. I didn't know that. So he's interviewing her, and they don't have any chairs in the room.

So he brings some Mexican dudes in from outside, and he asks them to go on all fours and they sit down on the mexicans and then he starts interviewing her and the first question is so how do you feel about human rights like that is hilarious that's a hilarious piece of comedy is that ollie g or borat uh what was he used to do ollie g which is like ollie g maybe i don't know what the character's supposed to be, but he just interviews these celebs and just asks the most ridiculous questions. He's like a grime UK rapper. Yeah.

And to be honest, I like... I think it's okay to go at celebs with it because those people are asking for exposure. They're agreeing to be on this because they're like, oh, this will help propel my fame. Yeah. Right?

The average person that owns a fucking fish fish store fishing store if he makes fun everybody i'm with it i don't want to do the thing where it's like oh they're beneath him so you can't punch down punch down but punch everywhere punch motherfucking everywhere yeah you punch at your people and them hey man you're punching yeah i guess i guess i'm just saying it's easier it's easier i'm not against punching down we love punching down it's hilarious yeah but uh it's just easier to take advantage of those people yeah you know i mean it's just like you coming in with all these camera crews and all this shit you just kind of like fast talk them and then get the fuck out of there all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because you should be able to enjoy

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you they're giving you your money back okay you go out there and you don't waste any more days now let's get back to the show anyway no more time on uh on uh borat um what else we got going on while we're rambling why don't we talk about Kanye? Oh, yes. So Kanye went on Rogan. You want to talk about some shit I couldn't finish? I couldn't finish that either, but I watched longer. Yeah, I got about an hour and a half. You know what's so interesting?

It's so hard to call someone who is so much more successful than you an idiot, but Kanye makes it easy. Yeah. You know what I mean? He is so much more successful than everybody in this room but he's a fucking idiot a rambling idiot you know what he is to me he's just bipolar and he's off his meds and he just fucking talks and talks and talks and i love joe i think joe knows how to handle kanye a lot the one thing i didn't like was when joe was like yeah no you clearly don't need meds now this, this guy needs meds, yo.

And I'm not a fucking mental health expert, but I guess we got a couple friends that are bipolar. Why do I feel like Kanye's done this, like hasn't done this before? He has. Exactly, like he's been like this. I'll tell you what I saw about this.

And I think Joe gave him the fairest shot. And maybe I'm biased because I fucking love Joe. Yes. But I think he gave Kanye the fairest shot at explaining himself. Yeah. And yes but i think he gave kanye the fair shot at explaining himself yeah and i don't think he explained himself no do you know what i mean like this is and al maybe you saw something different and i really want to hear your perspective uh

what i saw when i'm watching this interview is why kanye loves trump because kanye can see a con man. Kanye's a con man. Yeah. Okay. Okay? Trump is a con man. They're both brilliant at the con. Okay? And they're so good at this one thing, which is part of the con, is convincing people they're great.

Kanye realized if he just says, I'm the best, people just believe that he's the best. Kanye is an unbelievable music producer. Nobody's taking that away from him. Outside of that, I don't know if there's anything exceptional. The way he's, and I'm not a Kanye fan, but the way he has moved fashion, it's insane. So fashion is bullshit. Fair. Right? So fashion, whatever somebody just decides is the hot thing is the hot thing.

And this is how you know fashion is bullshit, is that what's really uncool can become cool in the matter of a week. Yeah. Dad shoes are the most uncool thing. Then they become cool. There's no rules to fashion. The only thing that matters in fashion is the cool person wears it. And then it becomes it.

So it's not the way the item looks. It's about who wears it. And Kanye has convinced a large swath of people that he is a genius. And he's done this simply by saying he's a genius. Trump is the exact same way. Trump used to say he was a billionaire before he was ever a billionaire. He would call up different magazines. What are those magazines that cover when people go out to parties and shit like that?

Oh, like Esquire. Lifestyle magazines. Lifestyle magazines. Tabloids. He'd call up tabloids, apparently as his own publicist, but not say it was him. And then he would, billionaire Donald Trump was at this party. Billionaire Donald Trump. Before he was ever a billionaire.

He made himself a billionaire in people's eyes before he was ever a billionaire in real life. And then once you're a billionaire in people's eyes, it's easy to become the billionaire because now you're sitting down with these other billionaires. And that is what Kanye is a absolute brilliant genius at. And Trump is a genius at too. It's a con, but they're genius at the con.

And Trump was able to build this massive business that you know when you see Trump on all these buildings? I'm not saying he doesn't own real estate. He owns probably billions of dollars worth of real estate. But a lot of these buildings are licensing deals. It just says Trump because he's licensing the brand. It's not actually him owning the building. He's a brilliant con

man. Amber Rose said that too though. Amber Rose said as well? Amber Rose said that what Trump says or how Trump is Kanye probably sees himself in Trump. Exactly. Exactly. So I think Kanye knows I ain't the best at designing shit. I ain't the best at rapping. I'm

nice as fuck at music and Trump low key is probably nice as fuck when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I bet you he's charming as hell when you actually meet him and I bet you he can get anybody that he's in front of to think that he's brilliant and to think that he knows so much so the children just give him money, give him opportunity,

give him whatever you want. When he's on TV, it's undeniable. You gotta watch him. Entertainment. Raw entertainment. Must see TV. Must see TV. Anytime he's on TV. You know what's interesting about the billionaire thing? Yep. You know what Forbes accuses the Kardashians of doing all the time? Which is? Inflating their net worth. They said there were billionaires long before there were billionaires and then Forbes debunked it

and I think now they actually are billionaires or something. But like they said Kanye's net worth. They said they were billionaires long before they were billionaires. And then Forbes debunked it. And I think now they actually are billionaires or something. But like, they said Kanye's net worth was 2.3 billion or something. And he was like, yeah, now it's higher. But whatever, guys. I don't know what it is. Now he's saying five on Joe Rogan. Yeah. What were you going to say, Al? So, the big takeaway I see from Kanye is that, yeah, I don't know

what exactly mental disorder he suffers from, but he's not able to stay on one topic. Like his brain just like jumps around from topic to topic to topic. And Rogan was there to try to help him just like bring it back and focused on one thing. But the main overall message,

like if you are trying to stay along with what he's saying, it's very progressive. Like he does think differently than the way we think. Yeah, because he's bipolar. He's manic. What I would say is... But he's been successful doing the things when he was thinking progressive.

Yep. So it's like... It's very hard to criticize someone who's more successful than you. It's very difficult. So I understand everything I say. Just tell me to shut the fuck up because he's a billionaire. I'm not. The fuck do I know?

Okay? That being said, the reason why he switches topics, in my opinion, is because he ran out of bullshit to spew on that topic. This is the typical Kanye conversation. Listen, so when I'm thinking about designing sneakers, I went back to this very famous pianist, Jacques Van Blad. Have you heard of Jacques Van Blad?

Of course you haven't heard of Jacques Van Blad, because none of us have heard of fucking Jacques Van Blad. Have you heard of Jacques Van Blad? Well, yeah, once he wrote this one symphony when he was on his bed. So I was thinking about a shoe that would kind of fit a bed. And then I realized that beds, the most important thing about beds is sleep. You know how valuable sleep is? You know a sleep doctor named Timothy Pancakes.

He did this one study on sleep. Are you familiar with the study? No, of course you're not. So he just speaks. He found how many hours you need. It's actually only three, but then they killed him. So you don't actually know the truth. So it's just,

he just, he has like Wikipedia, less than Wikipedia level knowledge. He can just jump to link to link to link. He bounces, it's a lily pad. He's bouncing to the next lily pad because he can't stay on that lily pad longer

because it will expose who he is. Who else talks like that? Trump. Who else never finishes a sentence? Bro, you pointed that out. You're like, yeah,

the subtitles, one of Trump's clips on Instagram. It's unbelievable, bro. How would you describe it? I mean, it's like an AI, the subtitles, one of Trump's clips on Instagram. It's unbelievable, bro. How would you describe it? It's like an AI, computer-generated conversation. It's just random words just put in. Just spewed out. There's no sentence structure, nothing.

It just keeps on going. And without subtitles, it's the most entertaining thing you ever listen to. With the subtitles, you're like, I don't know if this guy knows how to finish the sentence. But now it's like, how do you knock a person who says crazy shit? Hey, I'm going gonna do this crazy thing you're looking at him like you're fucking retarded and then does the crazy thing

there's nothing he hasn't said he was going to you're crazy yeah but there's nothing he said that he was gonna do that he hadn't done yet I would push back on that I think 99% of things

that he says that he's gonna do he hasn't done like? I'm gonna create a sustainable community of da da da I don't see this he's in the process of doing that we'll see sustainable community of i don't see this he's in the process of doing we'll see it like so far the only thing that he's done is made sneakers and

sweaters and made great music outside of that people were clowning him for the fashion shit like when he was came out with the shirts early on they're like he's charging 100 fashion is a con though and i do agree with that right yeah sure but like they were calling him an idiot when it first came out and they were like you're so stupid you're selling these shirts for 100 bucks it just looks like it has holes in it remember that but and then it turned into the thing and now people try to get and i will say that like the fact the fashion industry is just frauds sure like everybody there's a fraud and they know it's a house of cards right they just know wherever the popularity lies we're going to gravitate that way like these sneakers

are cool everybody makes a version of those sneakers this shirt is cool everybody makes a version of that shirt right you can literally see it see it happen. It's like Balenciaga does something with sneakers and all of a sudden, six months later, Zara has the version of it that is kind of a knockoff and so does Skechers.

Right? Like, right now, literally right now, Balenciaga is making expensive Skechers. Same thing with the Birkin bags. Take that for one second and we'll get into Birkin

in a second, but think about that for a second. Skechers, the sneakers, none of us in this room would be caught dead wearing, became popular as Balenciaga. Yeah.

So I could see how a person who's an amazing con man would succeed in an industry that is a con. Yeah. I, again, I think... Amazing musician. I just want to point that out. Amazing musician. And Trump isn't music.

His is entertainment. He's just an entertainer through and through. Like, you can't talk for an hour and a half in front of an audience with no script without being an incredible entertainer. And they both have their amazing entertainment thing. And they use the equity that they have in that to spread into these other industries that they probably don't know anything about. And you could probably argue that Trump is exceptional in real estate too.

You could say that. I don't think it's as ill-intentioned necessarily i don't think it's fully planned again we both have a friend i we he struggles with bipolarity i saw him go through it and i remember when he got out of the mental hospital he said if i didn't take meds and you let me just go i would have created some unbelievable shit and we were like what are you talking about he's not he's like nah man you don't understand when you're manic you're just going and going and going and you're spewing and creating and like some of that shit is going to be brilliant it just is now it's not worth the inevitable crash but it's some of

it's going to be brilliant and i don't think he intentionally lily pads i think he's internet educated and he's going and going and going he's taking one factoid from this thing and one factoid from that thing and one factoid from that thing but the guy is clearly crazy and it's i'm a religious guy but i don't like when we're like oh god fix that god can take care of whatever issues you have that's god no god and science can go together yo yeah you can believe in god and still need meds and and that's the thing yeah the his big turn towards religion right now it seems a a little, it's just new to me. I'm not a religious person. So like I get put off by that, but it's like his motivation used to be becoming that dude,

becoming the top dude, becoming rich, becoming like, now it seems like, okay, I already reached the top. And so his main focus, everything he kept going back on is how can I improve society?

How can I help people? I want to become the leader of the free world so I can help people. I want to create this sustainable society so I can help people. I want to create this sustainable society so I can help people. Like, and, and... How's he... Yeah, he hasn't helped anybody.

That's the thing. It's like... You can argue his family, his in-laws have actually hurt the world. His focus was him first. Now it just seems like his direction

is helping people now. Yo, give Big Sean back his masters, bro. Give all your artists back their masters first. And that's the thing. That's the thing. We, he... We gotta see it. Like, only time will tell when it comes to him. I do agree that, yes, masters bro no all your artists back there masters and that's the thing that's the thing we he we

gotta see it like only time will tell when it comes to him i do agree that yes he is a selfish person and he cares about himself first and then it's like this big talk but like right now it seems a little genuine yo i'm it seems like a genuine crazy i'm gonna say something might be wild i don't think he's a billionaire bro bro. No, he is. They proved it. Forbes said it, so I believe it. That's all I have. How do they prove it? I'm curious. It's like being worth. Right, right, right. It's an evaluation

of the company, right? Yeah. That's what it is. It's an evaluation of the company. If he leaves that company, do you think Yeezy's still worth anything? You can say that about... That's more of an evaluation. You can say that about so many things. He can cash out and then leave. If the guy who owns Coca-Cola leaves Coca-Cola,

we still drinking Coca-Cola. Yeah, but he's not just going to leave with nothing. He's going to cash out and then leave. I don't think anybody's paying $3 billion for Yeezy if Yeezy's not part of it. He stays on as something, something. He has to stay on. I don't think he could sell his company and get the $3 billion.

You can sell your company and stay on, though. It does, but I'm saying I don't think he could sell his company and get the $3 billion. You can sell your company and stay on, though. It does, but I'm saying I don't think he can actually access and hold those $3 billion. And the only way he can is if he sells his company. He can sell some shares, though. Yeah, he can sell enough shares, and then they keep him on an advisory role, and he's still associated with it. You know what I mean? Jordan can't leave Jumpman. That don't make Jordan not a billionaire.

He could sell equity and still stay on the board. I think Bill Gates did that shit. I don't know if he's a billionaire, bro. It just seems weird to me. Why are you going to re-sign a $10 million contract with Def Jam if you're a billionaire? Y'all know how much money a billion dollars is, bro? You're going to

bicker over it. You have a billion dollars and you're bickering with Def Jam over a $10 million contract? Being worth something and having that is two different things. He don't got a billion dollars. That's what I'm saying. Worth? He doesn't say that is two different things he don't got a billion dollars that's what I'm saying worth he doesn't say that

yo son I'm worth a billion dollars I mean what assets no I'm worth it that's what I believe I'm worth I'm worth 10 billion dollars what's your valuation my valuation is literally

100 billion dollars 100 billion dollars that's my evaluation bro I mean I'm 100 billion dollars if Forbes agrees I'll agree why. I mean. I'm 100 billion dollars. If Forbes agrees, I'll agree. Why Forbes? Who the fuck is Forbes?

There's somebody. You don't know? There's somebody. I'm worth 100 billion dollars. That's all I'm saying. We could all evaluate ourselves or whatever we want. That makes you the second richest man on earth. Who's the richest?

Bezos at 113. I'm 114 billion now. I evaluate myself at that. You want to buy me? It's 114. What just made it go up? Bezos. Finding that out about Bezos. I thought I was clear. Spike in the market. Yo, I really thought that I was clear, bro. I guess my point is like, he's, I'm a billion. I'm a billion. You can't access that billions. I don't think that he could actually hold a billion cash. I think he can get to it, but he doesn't have it now. He can get to it. I don't know. So what Kylie did, Kylie was a majority shareholder in that makeup line.

She marketed it. It grew, and now it was worth more than a couple billion. And then she sold a big percentage of her stake, I think, for like $800 and something million. So she actually had that in cash. And she still has to stay on to promote the makeup line to keep it going can we piss before i move on before we move on yes i just i feel like kanye is a genuinely crazy person who's actually sincere about the things that he says i can believe that crazy i don't think it's as ill-intentioned as yeah as you think i don't think it's as con artist as you i'll buy it i think he's a con artist i think he's got mental illness there's no doubt that he has mental illness

but but don't have like you haven't seen like this before yeah it's like we've seen it so many times and it's so calculated and everything is so but you know why people are against it now why because he's not rooting for black people anymore oh well that's the other thing i think the only reason he got religious is to get black people back and i think he's like what's the easiest way to get black people back black people are very religious black people are christians i'm gonna rock with this christianity thing i'm gonna do it you know better than anybody how am i gonna do christianity i'm gonna do it with the thing i do it best music and then people arrive with it everybody was excited about this you know he was talking about the production value on that jesus

album and i was like i vividly remember alex saying it's not good production oh yeah yeah it wasn't but his heart isn't in the music anymore, in my opinion. Yeah. You didn't like Late Registration? Late Registration is fantastic. He's talking about his Jesus album. The gospel one. God is King or whatever. Anyway, we don't have to keep talking about Kanye. What were you going to say, Mark?

Hey, we don't have to keep talking about Kanye. I'm just very skeptical of him, and he had the perfect platform to really express how he feels and how misunderstood he was and joe gave him all the fucking rope that he needed bro like literally like hey joe gave him the benefit of the doubt with absolutely everything yeah and to me he wasn't committed and the tmz thing kanye said van tweeted this is bullshit that's not what happened yeah yeah so all right we're gonna take a little break our car's gonna

take a little pee all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because some of y'all stink okay and those of y'all that do not stink you know what the problem is you're using deodorant that's blocking up all the pores in your body it's horrible for you okay now i'm not out here peddling one of these hippie dippy uh deodorants that don't work at all. You rub them on and they're made out of like feet and granola and nothing works. Okay. I don't want you stinking. I want you smelling beautiful.

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And remember, if it doesn't work for you, if you don't realize how much better this fucking deodorant is than any other deodorant that you've tried, it's risk-free. You get your money back or you change it for another one. Simple as that. Go try it. Go smell better and don't have aluminum in your pits let's get back to the show so what's the story so basically chelsea handler was talking to jimmy fallon and uh that's a conversation you gotta hear i mean who could miss that jimmy fallon and chelsea handler uh and she basically was like i i had to remind 50 cent he's black in terms of like who he should vote for because 50 excuse me

tweeted out the thing like uh 62% tax in New York I'm not going with that shit yeah so Chelsea goes I gotta remind him that he's black now Chelsea as a as a comic because she used to be a stand-up yeah that's a joke yeah but because she's woke Chelsea now and she's policing what people can or can't say or can or can't do and she's not giving comedic license to other people she is victim of the same scrutiny that she's giving those other people I think that's what's going on here

if she was funny I'm a drunk girl I fuck whoever I want I'm wild girl back in the day and said that do you think she gets a single bit of pushback? yeah but nobody cares it's like that pushback that nobody cares about people are it's not a national story yeah like shut up it's almost like oh you don't understand Chelsea like she just says wild shit and that's funny I don't I haven't paid any attention to her since she hasn't had a show on e or whatever yes so I still thought she was that

person so you looked at it and you were like yeah that's her yeah just her yeah so that's why i was like the story was like nothing and because she even follows up trying to say some shit like uh and i would fuck him at bait she didn't say it because like i would do whatever it takes to get him to vote yeah for biden yeah she's willing to fuck him yeah they already fuck yeah but like uh as a joke right and it's like okay yeah that's that's what you're going for some funny it's not the best joke in the world but it's not bad it's fun it's like yeah you're having fun the pushback on this was crazy which really shows how much people resent chelsea for like going woke and why is it what no man go ahead no go ahead what okay what was your question i won't finish your statement i guess i guess that's what i think the reaction is like people are so pissed off when woke people start to make jokes.

And I get that also because it's like, hold up. You're going to attack the people I like when they make jokes. And then you're going to think you're going to make the same jokes whenever you want. That's not going to happen. And I do appreciate that. On some level, I understand where that comes from. You're like, don't be Mrs. Joke About Race all of a sudden and then be woke as fuck. Didn't she do that show on Netflixflix what was it called like which one uh when she learns not to be racist or some shit she did like a series oh chelsea learns or something i think she like

went to india she did do something like it was chelsea that did that yeah i mean it's crazy to see her fall off once she went woke like that term once you go woke you go broke like i'll just stop listening to her once you stop making fun of like short mexicans remember when she had that guy chew it was a chewy on the show that was hilarious he died yo he took he must have written for her some shit bro like he took all her funny bro to the grave dog bring back chewy that's what she needs that's why she don't want the wall that's why she hates Trump She looking for a new Chewie Yeah Oh my god

Chewie could have probably Fit underneath the wall Underneath But he not climbing that shit No no no Oh my god Now we understand it Why do you think

That she's woke though Like she's never I thought back in the day She was absolutely hilarious She was I mean that sincerely Like I thought As an interviewer

She was excellent I didn't really watch To be honest with you I did I think she was funny She was funny dude I thought't really watch, to be honest with you. I would watch it. I think she was funny. She was funny, dude. I thought she was funny. Why do you think she's not the same anymore, though?

It seems to me, I haven't really been following her that much, but it seems the public sentiment around Chelsea is like, shut the fuck up. You're like some woke girl that like switched up. Yeah. And her like most recent tweet, she's just on Twitter like, this is what Trump's doing in a pandemic. Vote him out to save humanity. I just don't know what they think they're doing.

Like, why do actors keep tweeting about politics? Clearly it doesn't work. Nobody cares what you have to say. Trump won four years ago. And now you're tweeting more? Like, it helps? I think there is a certain politics you have to have to exist in Hollywood. And we're, like, detached from that, right?

Because we don't realize that they might literally have, like, an in crowd in Hollywood. because we don't realize that they're there might literally have like an in crowd in hollywood and they might really believe that like they could dictate the pace of the cultural conversation by the movies and tv shows that they make they might like overvalue their importance a little bit and so they're like oh you don't have the right politics you're not going to be involved in these conversations maybe that's why once once you go woke you go broke when it happens not that it always does but when it happens it's like yo we see through this like stop trying to push this shit on me can i just watch a fucking movie please can i just be entertained without you pushing this on me fuck this movie i'm not watching it also we don't like being lied to bro bro i if we think if we feel like someone's lying to us

we feel a way about it and i think i think this is why people reacted poorly a lot of times to when uh when actors would come out as gay after they were famous it's not like i hate gay people it's like oh i thought i knew you yeah and now you're not the person i thought so i don't even know who you are like i can't say i love you like i don't know you i think don't get me wrong there's tons of homophobia and people probably using whatever but i think there was a certain part that was like oh dude like whoa like when you find out ross ain't ross yeah you know when you find out Ross ain't Ross. Yeah. You know what I mean?

When you find out, like, your favorite character isn't who they actually are in the show. When you find out your favorite actor's an asshole, you're like, oh, you're not the guy that I thought you were. Not that being gay is negative or whatever, but it's like, oh, I thought you were this this whole time. I thought I knew you. Turns out I don't know you at all.

Ellen. Right? What are you saying? The biggest pushback in the world is about Ellen is because everybody really thought, wow, you're like this sweet person that you make me feel good. You make me feel happy. I'm glad that you're trying to be nice to people. And then you find out you're just a bitch.

Everybody knows that interaction with Ellen that went bad was like really bothered by it. Yeah. And I think it's expectation and reality. Yeah. Expectation was so like high for Ellen. And she was just kind of bitchy. Yeah. Right? I had to work at the Ellen show you used to work there? no I wanted to you want to? because it looked like a fun

cool you surprising people out of nowhere but what if I still don't know the whole thing with this whole Ellen thing because what if it's a sense of people that don't like to be scared because that's what it seems like she likes to scare a lot of people that's what the whole thing is Taylor she's not mean to the guests Taylor's new source That's what the whole thing is. No, no, no.

Taylor, she's not mean to the guests. Taylor's news source is different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get different news. What Taylor's referring to, you know how Ellen scares people on the show? So she thought all this drama about Ellen was for some reason.

She scared people that work there too. Yeah, but she thinks this whole drama is that people from the show is like, I don't like being scared. Jumping out of nowhere. I don't get a warning. It's a horrible work environment.

That's really funny. I carry coffee sometimes. Yo, White Taylor is crazy, bro. What's crazier, White Taylor or Peary Taylor? White Taylor or Red Taylor? What's crazier?

Red Taylor, you do not want to fuck. Red tailor is on another level. That's like the red wedding right there. That's red wedding, yo. That's right. It's a massacre. When red tailor's around, it's a massacre.

That's like the bottle of Malbec that went in Al's foot. Yes. That red, yo. That's dangerous. I don't know. Any other thoughts about this whole Chelsea shit? No, not really. Because it seemed to be such a big story. Why do you think? I don't know. I think it about this whole Chelsea shit? No, not really. Because it seemed to be such a big story.

Why do you think? I don't know. I think it was just good fodder for people. There was like this liberal white woman telling black people what they had to do. I think white people are having their comeuppance. I think they're getting their punishment for skating by on their privilege and just letting y'all, throwing y'all under the bus. On the heels of Bill Burr calling white chicks out.

I think that was the beginning of, that's the beginning. That tipping point now you're gonna start to see it yeah chelsea goes on late night is like black guys you got she goes i gotta remind him he's black as if like ain't got some white girl shit to do poor al can't even have sex with a white one without her reminding him all the time shit shit you know what's funny is when people watch clips of this and they see you in full white face yeah and you guys in white face and they have no clue why we're not wearing dresses and we're just talking about random shit. Like Kanye's not really worth $3 billion. But no context whatsoever to what's going on.

You look smarter though. Well, thanks guys. About time. All right. What else we got, man? Emily Ratajkowski. You're on a, how do you say this fucking name? Oh yeah.

Ratatouille. Y'all care about it? I was thinking about it She's pregnant She's trying to go woke again She's gone She's woke Who the fuck is Emily

What is that? Blurred Lines bitch Yeah She's alright Honestly I felt the way When you called a pregnant woman A bitch right there Maybe I'm getting sensitive

I felt the way dog She's pregnant Back when she was in Blurred Lines She was that bitch Get the fuck out of here With that song Get out of here With that song Get out of here You are so woke now

I was gonna call her a fat bitch Not a pregnant woman There you go Let's go Nah in all seriousness She did this whole video I guess with Vogue Where she's talking about

How she's One of the lines is I'm not gonna say The gender of my baby And we're not gonna talk about that Until the baby's 18 and she can decide what she is herself. Yeah, or the baby tells us.

She didn't even say he or she. Why do you need to share that with people, bro? Exactly. All that is performative, right? Yeah. Nobody asked you. Isn't it an open letter, which is the most bullshit thing? Yeah, right?

But no one asked. You ain't got a diary, bitch. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know what? That's like the exact opposite. Did you guys see the Tyson, um, Tyson and Boosie interview? I heard about this. I saw the clip on Charlamagne. I want to talk about that too because apparently that was wild. So, this is like the

opposite of that because Boosie is like, hey, you shouldn't let your child say they're a different gender at that age or whatever the case is. And Tyson was telling him, like, yo, I believe, I agree agree with you but who the fuck are you to say that like it's none of your fucking business and like tyson's tell him like joe just shut up keep that shit to yourself because what you said is now hurting other people and it's not you you have no base to say that comment and this is the same thing that's happening with her. It's like, yo, if you decide to grow your kid up that way,

keep that shit to yourself. Yeah. Keep that shit to yourself. Like, because nobody asked. Yeah. You know what I mean? Exactly. So when no one asks,

that's why it's a problem. If somebody asks and you're responding to that question, like if it's a questionnaire and you're like, yeah, we're not going to say to gender

because like, yo, we believe in trans stuff and like the baby might be something else and we're not going to put it on him. Good luck finding gender neutral baby clothes because that shit is pink or blue. They make yellow

and that's supposed to be the gender neutral. I thought you were going to say something racist. I thought you were going to say my baby identifies as Asian. That's racist though that the shit that looks Asian is gender neutral. You can't tell. That's a little racist, yo.

That's a little racist. Oh, take that, Emily Ratatouille. Yeah. That is interesting. But that is interesting, though. Yeah. Because the Boosie interview was fascinating because I wonder if Mike is the only person

that could get away with the things he was saying to Boosie. I know. That's what I was wondering. I was wondering. Shit to Mike, bruh. And literally, and I think there's a specific reason why Mike could get away with the things he was saying to Boosie. I know. That's what I was wondering. Shit to Mike, bro. And literally, and I think there's a specific reason why Mike could get away with it. At one point he goes, is the reason why you disparage gays because you think you might be homosexual?

Yes. Because Mike's saying that to Boosie. And that you feel like if you basically shit all over gays, then people won't know that you're actually gay. And he goes, no, I don't think you're gay. I'm just wondering if you think that could be one of the issues. He's like, no, no, I'm just think you're gay. I'm just wondering if you think that could be one of the issues. He's like, no, no,

I'm just not about that Dwayne Wade's kid shit. If anybody else says that to Boosie, they're probably getting shot. Yeah. I think the reason why Mike can say it is not because Boosie's worried

about what Mike would do to him. I think that when Mike says something to you that is disparaging to your masculinity, he is such a potentially terrifying human being that we allow

somebody like that to speak to us in whatever way they want, and it's not seem like you're a pussy for not standing up for yourself. Oh, so your reputation's not at stake. If I said that to Boosie, his reputation is, oh, you're just going to let him talk to you like that? If Mike says it, it's like, yeah, you just let Mike say that. Mike can say whatever he wants.

That's Mike. Wow, that's fascinating. I wonder if Mike is so badass, if he is the baddest motherfucker on the planet, that he can say- The baddest man on the planet, right? That was his nickname, right?

Real talk, if he is- He is the alpha male. If he's the alpha, by being baited at him, it doesn't even look that, we're not even looking down on you. It's like getting eaten by a bear. It's like, what you going to do?

What do you think was going to happen? It's like, according to this guy, he can outrun a bear. No, I would juke it. I would juke it. Could you outrun Mike Tyson? I could outrun Mike Tyson. Come on, son. He's 53 years old, son.

He's 53 years old. Have you seen him in the gym, son? Have you seen him in the gym right now? If he gets me, it's over. If he gets me, it's over. I'll bite his ear. I'm biting it, bro. You started it. That's what I'm telling Mike. You circumcised his ear. I'm biting, bro. You started it.

That's what I'm telling you. You circumcised his ear. I circumcised that shit. You got too much lobe. Outrunning a bear isn't that hard either. Say what? Outrunning an alligator.

Outrunning a bear is not that hard? Yeah. It's just like outrunning an alligator. As you said, those are very different animals. Taylor,

what the fuck? I just don't think that Taylor runs track for two years like knock out, run a bear. Oh, wait, time out. Let's get it

clear. Now, are you talking about a fat gay or are you talking about a animal? And are you just bear-aging them because you might

Let's get it clear. I've been running track since I was six years old. Anyways. Anyways. Anyways. A bear will snatch you out the fucking earth.

I feel like a bear's not that I don't know. For some reason, I just feel like a bear's not that fast. Yeah, you feel that way until they start running after you. Yeah, but I think a lion would catch up to me than a bear. That's what's terrifying. And the difference between a bear and a lion is scary.

You can't even run up a tree with a bear because a bear could just get you there. Lion too. You think lions don't run up trees? Yeah, where do cats get stuck? Where do cats get stuck? That's a good-ass question. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's a good-ass point that you just put together right there. That's a good ass question. Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah.

That's a good ass point that he just put together. That's a scoreboard. That is a scoreboard that you got right there. Take that. You got white knighted. Yeah.

What? Bear. I mean, I said bear. Taylor, what was the fastest you were able to run? Fastest?

And what? Just whatever. Like, what was your top speed? What do you mean top speed? You don't have speedometer on? I don't know. Don't they fucking keep track of that for you?

What's the dash say? What is time for a race? It's not top speed. In 100, I ran 11.6. In 200, I ran 25.5. Wait a minute. Did you just describe your boyfriend's dick in inches and centimeters? Or was that pretty accurate someone look that up

that might have been close oh dude those are my two races though all right all right though all right all i'm trying to say is i don't know where we got how we got to that oh here's another thing is like if you're the thug if you're the hard dude who's been through some shit mike has been through it too he's like it's like a soldier talking to a soldier you know what i mean like mike didn't have guns but mike was in the streets mike was acting reckless mike was fighting mike was in all that shit so whatever you're going through he's been through it's like an og talking you a little bit like maybe he didn't have guns the way you have guns maybe i don't know but like mike is a warrior who has been through it all so when he says that shit you're talking somebody

who's been through it and come out the other side shit you're talking to somebody who's been through it and come out the other side. Yeah it's like he's not clout chasing when he's saying that shit to you. No you got to clout. He's already clouded. Yeah.

There's nothing more that he needs to do to solidify himself as a bad motherfucker. Yeah. So when he says that to you you're right it's OG'd it's almost like advice.

Yeah. He's not trying to insult you for views. He's having a real conversation. Because he's been through he's been further in this than me. Whereas like, if another person says

something disrespectful, it could be to kind of like scoop out some of your masculinity and add it to his pile. Does that make sense? Like if I body you, now I look bigger because of what I did to you.

He doesn't need to look bigger. And you also, you haven't been through what I've been through. You know what the fuck you're talking about? Mike been through it all. So Mike talks to you, that's somebody who's been through what you did to you. He doesn't need to look bigger. And you also, you haven't been through what I've been through. You know what the fuck you're talking about? Mike been through it all. So Mike talks to you. That's somebody who's been through what you've been through.

And now he's talking to you on the other side. And it's like, oh, okay. It's like your grandparent almost giving you advice. Or your uncle or whatever. He did an interview in the Breakfast Club. And he clearly didn't have no respect for the Breakfast Club. Because now he answered Boosie about the Dwayne thing. Oh, yeah.

What did he say? He was just like, I don't give a fuck. I don't apologize for what I said, blah, blah, blah. And then you go on with Tyson and he's just like, he's just more chill and calm. Like he wasn't like that. Yeah, it's a different you in there with a beast, bro. You in there with a

whole bear, bro. Yeah, he walked in there with a beast. So I did some math but if you want to finish your point, I got some math on Taylor's bear quest. Okay, so Taylor, wait. what was your 100 meter how many seconds 11.6 11.6 you were going about 20 miles per hour there's no fucking way you ran 20 miles per hour for 100 meters that's why can i yeah why a bear's top speed a polar bear is about 22 oh so he'll catch up so you could outrun a polar bear technically so Taylor has a good point

she can outrun a bear no Mark shut up you just said that polar bears is faster yeah but you could technically outrun it

that's not actually technically she cannot there is a world in which she jukes him but technically by the definition of technical she cannot

was on this podcast that I said that I like throwing hard things at Mark son I gave you I gave you all permission to throw hard throw that ace of spade bottle i'm waiting mark shatter it and cut my foot he really thinks he's slick cut your yo he really thinks he's slick sitting between the expensive ass cameras that i bought

because if he wasn't if he was situated Right over there Where there's nothing But some soundboard Shout out to Overtone That motherfucker Would get pegged Bro Taylor can run 20 miles an hour Multiple times Right now

We can't have two kings Going at it like this We can't have two kings Yeah we can't We kings bro We kings Yeah you kings yo We kings

Bro Taylor's got 20 miles An hour on the dash dog Can we do a 100 yard dash There's no way in hell That Taylor runs 20 miles per hour Taylor versus Andrew 100 yard dash Can we do a 100-yard dash? There's no way in hell that Taylor runs 20 miles per hour. Taylor versus Andrew, 100-yard dash. First of all, time out. Why can't I run that?

Can we do a 100-yard dash, please? You probably got all this space between your legs from where your boyfriend's dick has been. The bad wind up in there is slowing you down. A lot of air resistance. He's trying to say something that I don't know what he's saying. I was trying to cover it up. I was like, this guy's body says, wild shit, what's going on over here?

You got mad space between your legs. Your boyfriend didn't widen it out. Now you can't even run straight properly. He's saying you can't run the way you used to run. Now you walk like a cowgirl. Okay. I probably don't run how I used to run back in college. But I did run that shit. I don't know if you did, yo. Yeah, I don't know.

You think you can outrun it, bro? I'll bring my trophies in next time. I could outrun you in the hallway right now. We could go. Oh, shit. Oh, we could go. You want it in my military boots? Do you want it in my military boots?

No, in all seriousness, we might have to do this. You really think you can take Taylor 100 meters? Without a doubt. So we got to do this. Okay, bang. Taylor's talking too much shit. I'm ready for this challenge. Keep running in her seriousness, we might have to do this. You really think you can take Taylor 100 meters? Without a doubt. So we got to do this. Okay, bang. Taylor's talking too much shit. I'm ready for this challenge. I'm running you in her boots, yo.

Yo, honestly, we should get Wax on the phone because I have on him too. No, you're not. Yes, I did. You did? You already raced? You know how many times I took his phone and he tried to chase me and didn't get me? That's different than a foot race. Yeah, that's more like parkour.

Why is that? He still can't. Wax is playing football and everything. He couldn't catch me. There's something about him. You't. Wax is playing football and everything. He couldn't catch me. There's something about him. You're saying Wax is gay? You questioning his sexuality? Why would you put that on Wax?

I bet he'd catch me if I was a dude. Dressed like this, he'd catch me. Wearing some tight ass pants, spandex. All right, guys, we're going to take a break

for a second because I need y'all to think sharper, okay? Simple as that. A lot of y'all are not thinking as sharp as you possibly could. And that's because you're not on that neural route. You guys were listening a few episodes ago. We were all rooted up in the episodes.

Absolute banger. We were plugged in. The neural route is going to optimize your brain, give you energy that coffee gives you. It's got the caffeine in it. And it's also got that B6. I think it's B6. Al, is it B6? Probably B6. One of them B6 probably b6 one of them b's

this is one of them b's point is it gives you that energy of coffee but it doesn't give you that crash it makes you sharp makes you pointed if you got something important you got to do you got to test it you got to take you got a zoom combo you got to be on you're going to pass out you just need to focus and pay attention you just get rooted tooted and rooted that's what we're doing simple as that and you know what you're going to get a deal you're going to get a deal with us so you can be your best self, the most optimized you possibly can be. You know, you grow out a long day. You know, you're going to have to listen to a boring-ass fucking story. All you got to do is get rooted.

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That's how much y'all bought it. So it must work. Go back there. Get it again. It's made by our good buddies over there at Radix. So you know that it's good quality stuff and you know it's supported by a good company. Now let's get back to the show. All right, all right.

What else we got, man? Oh, we got to talk about Khabib, man. Speaking of bears and wrestling them motherfuckers. Fuck. What a transition. I'm saying. Hey, bro. That was brilliant.

Okay, so Khabib fights this weekend. Okay? He easily beats Justin Gaethje. Gaethje, which is supposed to be his toughest fight yet. Supposed to be his toughest fight yet. Dominating fashion. I saw it. It was wild.

Unbelievable. Shouts to Justin Ga gaethje that dude is just an amazing guy like he just seems like so much fun he's like a golden doodle like he just has this great energy like he was he literally said afterwards he was like yeah getting choked out isn't that bad you just have a nice little dream then you wake up not that much damage like he was dead for a second bro like done yeah so um but, he's just got this great attitude about it. Khabib retires. Yeah.

29-0. Has, I think, lost two total rounds in his career. Never bled. Never bled. That's so fucking crazy. In a sport where you can throw elbows. Yeah. And keep this in mind also.

Never bled. And his style is not like stick and move. No, he wrestles. He is, there's tons of skin to skin contact. He could get a headbutt, he could get a random elbow, never fucking bled.

Not even like nicked your nose. Like you ever like bump your nose and you have a nosebleed? All the time. Yeah, like that was pointed. Okay, have you seen these glasses? You ever shut the door and accidentally catch your nose in it?

Yeah. You ever propose to your girl and you try to open the door and accidentally kicked your nose in it? Yeah. You ever propose to your girl and you try to open the block and then that shit hits you right in your fucking face? Now you guys have a big diamond. You know it.

Okay. In all seriousness, the conversation right now is is he the most dominant fighter in UFC history and Jon Jones has a claim to the throne obviously because he because he defended, I think, or he's been in like 15 title whatever defenses.

And not only defenses, I think he had to vacate the belt and then come back, but he still came back and fought for the belt. So 15 total, right? Khabib is four, so those numbers are dwarfed by Jon Jones. That being said, Khabib has been more dominant. There's been like questionable matches for John Jones. Nothing has been even close with Khabib or hubby or whatever it's pronounced. Um, I think the more interesting discussion is,

is the lightweight division more entertaining now without Khabib. Yeah. more entertaining now. Without Khabib? Yeah. Was his dominance and reign so superior that it started to become

uninteresting? Hmm. Right? Like, we were excited about this Justin Gaethje fight. We're like, this guy's a wrestling pedigree.

He was a Division I wrestler. And he was getting some shots off on Khabib. He got a couple shots and Justin Gaethje hits hard. Yeah. And Khabib just ate them shits. Ate them shits. Easy, light work. I think the

division is actually more exciting. I think the UFC is more exciting without Khabib. And this is no knock on Khabib. I mean, he's absolutely amazing and put him up there as the GOAT because he dominated in a way that Jon Jones just didn't dominate. That being said, we want some chance. One of the great things about MMA

is that there's chance one guy could get clipped and goes down he was so dominant that he eliminated chance yeah i i'll be honest ufc makes more money when conor mcgregor is the champion and the fact that conor mcgregor has a chance to fight for the title next and i'm not even the biggest conor fan per se i just recognize his entertainment value it's trump level entertainment right no matter what he's involved in it's going to be entertaining yeah sell your shitty whiskey entertaining as fuck yeah we don't care the fact that he has a chance to fight for it and he's fighting against guys he can beat he can beat dust emporia because they beat him before right right he the gaethje fight would be really interesting but i think he could be gaethje he could be tony

ferguson there's a new guy michael chandler and I don't know that much about him. All I'm saying is MMA just got more interesting. How often is it that your most dominant champion leaves and it gets even better? Mayweather left boxing. We haven't watched a boxing match since. Bruh. I asked somebody. Fury Wilder was the last fight we cared about. Outside of Fury Wilder.

And that's it. Since Floyd retired, that's the only two fights we cared about. It's fucking a snooze fest without Floyd yeah and MMA is exploding and I actually think this is the right thing for MMA

what are you guys thoughts on this I don't know as much about the overall division necessarily but this is my first Khabib fight and that was fucking

I've never seen anything like that boxing or MMA just like the way he kept coming in who was the guy that fought Canelo two or three times

in uh Triple G Triple G yeah Gennady Golovkin yes and I remember he would just eat punches from Kazakhstan who was the guy that fought Canelo two or three times in uh Triple G Triple G yeah Gennady Golovkin yes and I remember he would just eat punches

from Kazakhstan fucking Sasha Baron this was like that but even more so Khabib just ate every punch and then just kept coming apparently fought with three broke

two broken toes and a broken foot in his bone oh that was the other thing yeah and then his chokehold submission he did as an act of mercy to uh Gaethje

because he heard Gaethje would never tap out. And he's like, well, if I do this arm bar or whatever, I will break his arm. So let me just put him to sleep and win. Because his parents were watching. His parents were watching. I've never seen anything like this. I wish I had watched all of his fights.

Now I'm like, I'm sad he's retiring because I'm like, oh, I would have watched every fucking fight you did from now on. Yeah, but imagine the fact that he's this fucking dominant at UFC. He's going to be the best Muslim. Oh, yeah. Dude, next level Muslim. The discipline. Oh, my God, bro.

The world needs to be afraid now. That's what I'm saying. If I'm Khabib's wife, I'm like, he has no outlet. Oh, but Islam is the outlet, bro. He's going to have a fucking tumor on his forehead from slamming his prayers down bro

throwing those rocks at satan just whipping them as hard as he fucking can real talk man that's an intense guy how can you be like islamic and fight i thought that's against the religion nah they have jihadis bro that's like part of the religion well they can just kill motherfuckers sometimes right

not sometimes like in an act of defense you know what i mean and i guess maybe you could look at like hey this person is attacking me and therefore i can defend myself against this person yeah but it's like for sport like or maybe you look at it as a as a thing of sport and because it's for sport the purpose is not to kill that person but muslims been fighting though that's like they love to fight right like the crusades fucking other shit yeah it wasn't your guy's fault it's all it's all it's all the muslims bro but like definitely you guys had nothing to do that's my point they didn't like bend over they're like no we'll fight oh because you're saying like christians are like we'll turn the other cheek yeah like of the religions like if a buddhist was like if the best fighter was a buddhist i'd be

like oh that's kind of weird oh the best fight that's interesting you know i mean the best fight like there's like a devout christian i'd be like, oh, that's kind of weird. Oh, the best fighter. That's interesting. Who's the best fighter in religion? There's like a devout Christian. I'd be like, that's not as weird, but you know, still a little weird. A Hindu fighter, I'd be like, that's impossible. That would confuse the fuck out of me. But like, I'm not a single person selected Dawson, the street fighter, bro. I don't even know why they had him in the open selection.

Just put another fucking brother of Ryu up there. We got two Ryus. There's Red Ryu and fucking Ryu. Yeah. Who is this, Ken? Watch your fucking mouth. I don't appreciate that shit. I don't think it's weird. Two Ryu's. There's Red Ryu and fucking Ryu versus Ken. Watch your fucking mouth. I don't appreciate that shit. I don't think it's weird like hearing that

a Muslim's like the number one fighter. I'm like, yeah, I get it. These are fighting people. They're tough. Interesting.

To me, it's like hearing like an Irish guy is a top fighter. I thought you were close to being a little bit muzzifobic. I wasn't muzzifobic

about saying they're good at fighting. You think they're not good fighters? I wasn't sure. Bro, if saying they're good at fighting. You thought you were close? I wasn't sure. Bro, if you think they're not good fighters, that's kind of... You're complimenting them. Are you calling them pussy, bro? That's the thing.

You're complimenting them. Are you saying that Muslims can't fight? So it's okay. I think they can fight. I think they can fight. Okay? I'm not going to make any cartoons if that's what you're asking. That's my point.

Okay? I will draw Jesus before I draw the prophet. Okay? That's my point. I know that's your point. I'm going to look through your doodles and I'm going to share them on Instagram. Wait, what doodles? You've been doodling, bro. You've been doodling, bro.

You've been doodling. You got nervous when we said doodles. What kind of doodles? We know what kind of doodles. He is French. Oh, je suis. Shut the fuck up up that's what you yeah

whoa Charlie no I would not say that just we Charlie is that what they do I kind of disagree with you because

but also fuck those guys too Charlie Hebdo I mean like I don't know the whole story but so far they're mad antagonistic it's like bro it's like

no they don't want you to fucking draw the cartoon or the like how hard is that it's there but you don't go shoot them up you don like, bro, it's like, yo, they don't want you to fucking draw the cartoon or the prop. Like, how hard is that? It's there. No, but you don't go shoot them up, though. You don't shoot them up. It's the same thing.

You don't shoot. You never shoot them up. That's the wrong thing to do. It's always wrong. It's always wrong. But after you get shot up, then don't draw it anymore. That's not what you do.

Right? Like, you learned your lesson. You shouldn't bully kids, but if a kid comes to shoot up to school, ain't no more bullying. How much bullying do you think happened after columbine six months stretch less much less at least at least less that whole generation of kids didn't get bullied at least they were loving live they're probably way weirder kids every nerd was just grabbing pussies and slapping kids bro that's all they were doing grabbingbing pussies and slapping tits You know what I'm saying Taylor That's what they did

They came in the next day Those nerds Next day school was open They were just grabbing pussies And slapping tits That's the thing No one ever talks about that I know they don't

They were scared dude They were fucking frightened The second you say a single thing About buck teeth or whatever like that Come in the next day with that trench I'll show you some, buck. Yeah. Oh, I love your trench coats.

Beautiful. Where'd you get it? Yeah. A lot of those conversations. A lot of those conversations. Lovely fedora. Yeah. Did they wear fedoras, bro?

I'm just assuming. I don't know. That's a crazy thing to kill. Is it the 1920s that they were killing people? Yeah. Bro, that's not Dick Tracy. Is it Crime Noir? What do you think Columbine looked like?

They pull up in one of those. Here's looking at you, kid. Yeah. They rob the bank. I don't know. I don't remember that shit. All I'm saying is Respect the Muzzies, alright?

Mashallah. Is that what you say? Mashallah. Yeah. Mashallah, dude. You see him backpedaling outside? I know, right?

I was thinking about all the shit that could happen. Could pop off. Yeah. You could've got head dough. If you did something wrong. You could've got head dough. But I didn't do anything wrong. You could've got headdo. If you did something wrong. You could have got Hebdo. I didn't do anything wrong though. You could have got Hebdo

because you've been doodling. I see what you've been doodling. I've never doodled. All you said was you drive in. You said you were drawing your Uber drivers. That's what you said. That's a different Muhammad. It might be, but we don't know. That's a different Muhammad. We don't know what he looks like. They see a picture that says this is Muhammad at the bottom. They don't know

if that's five stars. They don't know. They don't know what he looks like. If they see a picture that says, this is Muhammad at the bottom, they don't know if that's five stars. They don't know. They don't know if that picked you up and brought you to work. It is, though. You don't know, bro. Why didn't Charlie Hebdo just do that? Yo, this is an Uber driver. Why didn't

they just say that? Just to clarify. That's a good-ass point, yo. I'm saying it. That being said, don't do it. You can't do it. You can't point yo i'm saying it that being said don't do it you can't do it you can't shoot people for cartoons yeah but also don't you don't do antagonize you know i mean say you know what i'm saying well you also don't have to draw it it's like the n-word you just don't do it yo how yeah exactly why people can't just accept these boundaries yo what is this charlie hebdo just drop the n-bomb and every single fucking thing oh no they won't do that oh they won't do that isn't isn't that interesting you won't just write the n-word all over every single fucking thing? Oh, no, they won't do that. Oh, they won't do that. Isn't that interesting?

You won't just write the M-word all over your cartoons. Isn't that interesting? Because you know you get popped in your fucking mouth, right? Or you know you want to win another World Cup. That's why you don't drop that fucking M-bomb. I see how it is, Charlie Hebdo. Yeah. So, Khabib.

Yo, what if Muslims are right and they gotta go to heaven, bro? The Hebdo people and they gotta be like, oh, fuck, dude. We were accurate as hell. That's what it looks like. It's like they only knew how accurate it was. It was disrespectful. Alright, for real. Let's go.

I'm sorry to say that, Mark. I'm sorry to say that. You're right. Your religion's right, Mark. Don't worry. You're going to go to heaven. Yeah. Why are you laughing at me? Why'd you laugh, Taylor? White people can go to heaven, too.

Ha! Yeah. Yo, that's fucked up. Funny. Why can't white people go to heaven? Don't do that. Yo. Just because we live on heaven on earth, too,

don't mean we can't turn it back. Yeah. The sequel. Yeah. Yay, yay. We just pull up to heaven like, yay, yay to have any like this shit man regular wi-fi lost his body wait everybody's equal what the fuck this ain't heaven earth is way better bro yo what if heaven's a letdown for whites oh shit that's crazy and the shower pressure is mad regular i don't know if i could be here like that come on now

everybody in your neighborhood I think heaven is whatever you think like so people that like don't want to be surrounded by white people I think it's all black

nah you ain't gonna get that we gonna be there we gonna be there only way we not gonna be there property value mad low and you're heaven Taylor wait you think everyone's black in heaven

her heaven I think my mind's her heaven is whiteless. Wait, do we turn black? Her heaven is just her and her homies kicking it. No white people. Yeah, I don't know. I just think our mind is powerful,

and I think whatever we think, that's what's going to happen. Taylor lives in a segregated heaven. Ain't that fucked up, yo? Ain't that fucked up out here, yo? That's my heaven, though. We're not even going to be in heaven together, bro? Black people are...

We can't be in heaven together, bro? Black people are above white people in my heaven. Damn. Oh, that's fucked up, bro. I'm sorry. That's disrespectful. though. We're not even going to be in heaven together, bro? Black people are above white people in my heaven. Damn. That's fucked up, bro. I'm sorry. That's disrespectful. What does that mean? Why is that disrespectful?

Why is that not? It's in the Bible. How is that not? How is that not disrespectful? You said that black people are above white people in your heaven. In my heaven. What are we supposed to do? We supposed to attend a field?

We supposed to, what? Yeah. Wait, what's going on? I'm just about to have compassion with you. We supposed to play sports and shit? What the fuck are we supposed to what's going on just about to have compassion with you we supposed to play sports and shit what the fuck

we supposed to do we supposed to be rappers what's going on you're having your heaven sucks I don't like your heaven it's so unfair so privileged

can I tell you can I tell you something yes this is a real side note me and my friends you know there's a podcast going on I know but

me and my friends we went because we're talking I would love you to be a debate moderator yo y'all look crazy You know there's a podcast going on. I know, but look, me and my friends. I know, we're in the middle of a podcast. I would love you to be a debate moderator. Yo, y'all look crazy. Y'all look crazy. Let me tell y'all something.

My cousin, right? Yo, me and my cousin, we were talking about going to heaven, right? Yo, you're a Gemini? I'm a Gemini, too. Isn't that so weird? Yo, my boyfriend's dick is so big. Someone get me a more comfy seat. Oh, my goodness. All right, go.

Now, I was going to say, we're going to talk about like segregation and everything else, right? Why do you always want to talk about segregation? This is the most diverse podcast on the planet and you're just trying to segregate. What have you learned? You're describing her heaven, bro. I know, bro.

Let's talk about her segregated heaven. All right, go. So look, so we had this bomb ass soul food, right? Yeah. Like bomb. And we were like mad high, right? Who made it? You know who made it. Chinese people. White people. No. White people made it. No, it was black on. Don't play with me. And we were like mad high. Who made it? You know who made it.

Chinese people. White people. No. White people made it. No, it was black owned. Don't play with me. No, it was black owned. White people were working for it.

White people were cooking it up. Yeah. It was your heaven. It was just like your heaven, I think. It was your heaven. Mm-hmm. Yeah. There will be no seasoning on it.

Y'all can't cook for us. Yes, we can. We know how to cook. Not in white slave heaven. That's all they had to do was get the shitty food. Oh, yeah. Who's going to cook the food in heaven? Y'all probably can't cook for shit in black heaven, to be honest with you.

That's a good ass point. Y'all been getting all the good food. Y'all got to season it. It's all fresh. White people can get in the scraps. They got the soul food in your heaven. You're going to have to come to all restaurants in your heaven to eat. Oh, shit. Put that thing down. Flipped it. And reversed it.

Okay, go. Now say what you want to say. How are you making your heaven? Yo, me and my crackers, we gonna be up in heaven. We gonna be doing cool ass crackers shit. Yo, they gonna be the cool people? Yeah.

Yo, man, they gonna have all the song. Dope ass slang and shit. Well, the point of that is, I was just saying, we were really high, right? And I was thinking like, damn,

this is what they were cooking in slavery. Like, I want to have less. Wow. I realize how it comes out now that I'm thinking about it. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

I love Taylor Flickering. Taylor Flickering is lit. Again, the clip that's here, no context why we're all in white. Why has Taylor got a condom on her head what's going on right now why do you look like Michael Phelps what the fuck Taylor because those thoughts need protection you can't let them thoughts out like that she just justified slavery

with food she's like yo it's fucked up to have them out in the fields but that chicken that chicken how do you But that chicken, man. I'm just saying. That chicken. How do you feed that chicken? That cornbread.

I'm just saying, realistically, white people was definitely eating good. You think they were eating good back then? Is that a surprise? The sofa I had this past weekend was bomb as hell. Shout out to Black Nile. That was a what? Bomb as hell. The next thing you said, it was a what? Shout out to Black Nile. That was a what? Bomb as hell. The next thing you said, it was a what?

Shout out to Black Nile. Oh, blast. I thought you said Black Nine. Your boyfriend's your dick. There we go. I didn't want to be the one to dunk it home. I didn't want to be the one. The oop.

I had to throw it. I was texting Wilde's dick saying that y'all are obsessed with his dick. What, your boyfriend? He knows we're obsessed with his dick, yo. You know what I mean? Boy got the glop. Yeah. Click clack.

With that black on black. Mm-hmm. It's really weird. Okay. That was it. I fought it. Did y'all hear it on the mic or y'all didn't hear it on the mic? Yo, Ace of Spades gave me fart, bro.

Ace of Spades makes me fart, bro. Ace of Spades makes me fart. It's nice champagne makes me fart. You fart all the time no matter what you have. They do call it bubbly, though. That's a good point.

That's why it's bubbly, though. Tell me that shit don't taste delicious, though. I'm not a bougie person. Stop. Stop. Stop. I'm not a bougie person.

I'm not a bougie person. Most of y'all can never dine at the place I dine. Non-stop. This guy tells you I can't eat the food he eats. Most of y'all can never do that. Call it out.

That bullshit. Not if I got a dinner reservation I gotta get to now. Bro, this guy's dog's worth more than my life. I had to go walk his dog. That's worth more than

anything I've ever owned. Are you kidding me, bro? You know how offensive that is? My whole life? Wait, how much is this dog? That shit expensive, bro. I've ever owned. Are you kidding me, bro? You know how offensive that is? My whole life? Wait, how much is this dog? That shit expensive, bro. I almost put that fucking dog on my girl's finger, bro. I was like, take this shit.

Give me the big jacket, man. Nah. Cheap champagne. Basura. Fancy champagne. Yep. It's a different world, bro. That's the one alcohol you can tell the difference.

Tell the difference. Every other alcohol is almost the same. Yo, nah, cheap tequila, man? Yeah, but you know what I mean. Like, when you fancy ass shit. Yo, you're not getting in on this, bro? I can. It's just, I ain't with you.

Yo, can you give an image? Saika. Yo, this is for fiances only, bro. What's up? That's a sexy bottle right there. That is. Now, that shit going inside someone. Inside your ass? Wait, what? I don't bro what's up that's a sexy bottom right there that is now that shit going inside

inside your ass wait what I don't know what's going on bro y'all are crazy I'm a fiance damn I'm a fiance

that's what you call yourself I'm a fiance I'm a fiance are you behaving better now you're a fiance I think I am

behaving a little bit actually nah bro like I was ready for good behavior I've been behaving good yeah have you switched

up at all like your at home life in what way have you switched up at all like uh like your at-home life in what way have you been more helpful come on mark come on mark i'm trying to set you up bro this motherfucker i understand the dog shit it was so expensive this dog shit bro are you kidding me that dog shit is not what'd you do with it you recycle it because i only put my dog shit in the recycling right there you can't put that in the soil you grow a mark that's where i came from i didn't know that you replaceable dog don't worry about it fuck that's why i had to pick it up um all right man so what are we wrapping up on because we got

to wrap this thing up right here we got to wrap this thing up right here. We got to wrap this thing up, flip it and reverse it. The competition. We can speak on that. Oh, yes. The editing competition. Guys, we're reaching out to you all this week. We're reaching out to the people. We narrowed it down to three.

Yeah, we narrowed it down to three. We're going to reach out to you guys, and we will be in touch. And we just want to figure out where you guys live, what is your schedules like. If you guys obviously already have a job right now, what that is, how much time you could dedicate to this, and we'll describe basically what we want, and hopefully you guys bring ideas to that as well. So we'll be reaching out to you guys very soon.

Thank you guys so much for being a part of this, and it's been awesome to see the content that y'all put out, man. Oh, yo, can I giverew that youtube thing right there that box oh what we got here yo so i hit a hundred thousand subscribers let's go and you know they give you these little plaques and i ordered another one all you had to do was go white face for it oh yeah white face got that this is a thank you to everybody here but also andrew for making me put my shit on youtube everything in general so thank you i don't, but also Andrew for making me put my shit on YouTube and everything in general. Thank you. I don't have much space.

You know what? Why don't we put one of these up here? I think that that's important, Akash. Why don't you give me one of those? Why don't you just give me that flagrant one? No, put it on your side, baby. Put it right there. Yeah.

Take that one. No, you got it. And then put that right there. And then we're gonna take this one we're gonna put it on another part of the set but um

you know that's good problems to have when you have no space for all the YouTube plaques well I'm proud of you man thank you so much thank you

love you dog love y'all thanks I'll tape one of my first shows Andrew obviously everything Mark you know

I mean you just got here but that's cool yeah yes sir uh huh but uh but yeah

I'm proud of you man I think this is absolutely great and keep on doing it everybody yo if you haven't already go check out akash's stand up on his page akash saying youtube.com slash akash akash thing and um yeah man i mean it's just awesome to see if you go out there and do it it's great to see so many comics that are doing that as well now you see a lot of comics are out there vlogging and like it's really cool to see comics take the things that you know we've done and like help themselves and kind of build out their career their careers with it and you did it he actually made me he texted me when i announced my tour he's like you're putting clips now you're putting up clips now and then that's just i did it

and and it worked yep you know what i mean now you're selling tickets now you're selling out the whole weekend we see you shout out to Minneapolis Acme Comedy Club so fun even with social distancing so fun and that's a great room

especially even if it's socially distanced because it's a super intimate room it was great so yeah man you got any shows coming up yeah I got

Atlantic City November 12th and I'm gonna be this show just got announced at Providence Rhode Island I will have more details but I literally just got the email December 11th November 12th. And I'm going to be, this show just got announced at Providence, Rhode Island. I will have more details, but I literally just got the email December 11th and 12th. I love it. I love it, man.

Well, look, guys, you know we'll see you on Friday. Man, we had an unbelievable episode of Patreon last Friday. And all the patrons listening right now, y'all know, man, we had some cool discoveries made there just about ourselves. And to me me it was like the perfect flagrant two episode yeah it just encompassed everything it was like silly it was flagrant it was funny it was serious it was thoughtful and um it was just fucking great so we're gonna do uh obviously we do an episode every single friday on patreon.com flagrant two and uh you can go there sign up be part of the largest comedy patreon in the mother

fucking world and we're going for largest patreon in the mother let's do it and you know go there, sign up, be part of the largest comedy Patreon in the motherfucking world. And we're going for largest Patreon in the motherfucking world. And you know what's really cool is someone cut a clip and sent it to us. It was two years ago. We had Israel Adesanya, stylebender on Flay. No, no, we were talking.

He was just making the rounds in the UFC and we were talking about him on Flay 2 and we were like, and I believe I said I was like you know it's gonna be crazy in a couple years when Izzy is the face of the UFC and he's the UFC champion and we got the biggest podcast in the world and right now Izzy is the face of the UFC and he is the UFC champion and we have the number one comedy patron in the world and um if I said it I meant it bro you know i mean like

that's with everything in life you know and it's just amazing to see what we did here and we can't do that without y'all at home spreading the fucking word for this man so keep it up thank you everybody's a part of this thank you taylor for becoming a part of this you know i mean thank you mark for becoming a part of this og akash thank you and og alex thank you guys but um this is this is awesome shit man and i'm very excited for what's next and i think soon we'll be able to talk to y'all about that some cool little things that we've been cooking up very cool and that's all i could say about that so we love y'all we appreciate y'all we'll see some of y'all friday hopefully eventually we see all of you on fridays as well and if not, we'll see you next Tuesday.

Peace.