Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Keep Her

Episode Date: December 20, 2019

This week Andrew, Kaz, and Alexx discuss: the Bronx Jussie Smollett, being afraid of old-school rappers, the Flagrant facial routine, being proposed to in a taxi, Buffalo soldiers, KG talking smack about Lebron, the Flagrant thought of the week, and much more! Want to hear the rest of the episode? Become a PATRON! www.PATREON.com/FLAGRANT2

All I could think about was how annoying is this bitch The kidnappers gave up They're like fuck this Family wasn't even upset. They're like trust me. She'll piss them off She's probably asking for chopped cheeses every five blocks. Capri Suns? Deadass? You really going to kidnap me, deadass?

You ain't going to feed me, my G? At least give me a do-rag or something. But yeah, nah. Then it just happened all too conveniently. This video came out the day before. And within hours, they found her. And mind you, we're not trying to make a laughing matter as far as that. Yeah, we are. She faked it.

We can do it. Well, that's a laughing matter. I'm just saying women getting kidnapped in general, that's why people were so quick to jump, because that's happening a lot in the world. No, it doesn't. It almost never happens. It happens more often than you think. No no no

In America We're talking about In these other countries It happens If you're really rich And that's like The.1% of the population But like

If you kidnap Some poor person Like their parents Are grateful That's what marriage Used to be Is here Kidnap my daughter

So I don't have to Feed her anymore You're gonna take care Of that responsibility And then the family Was fine You know what's funny i think because uh bitches in canada are so nice or just people in canada are so nice yeah that's like the main spot where these bitches again snatch the fuck up what um like kidnapping uh sex trafficking like they snatch up canadian women okay because they don't fight back no you. You're completely making this up. No, I'm dead ass.

Human trafficking? That's not happening? People don't get kidnapped in the first world. What are you talking about? That's wild, bro. That's happening. No, Canada's biggest issue is the fucking pipeline or something like that or like healthcare or like the president doing fucking blackface.

If kidnapping was a real problem in Canada, clearly we would hear about that. Do we care about Canada? google that about canada okay okay that's the only point i guess what i'm trying to say is and this is first of all there's no way in hell that kidnapping is a problem there this is uh human sector tends to occur around international travel hubs with large immigrant populations notably california texas georgia but here's the human trafficking starts in another country and then gets brought to this country nobody's human trafficking a canadian because they all speak english they just go i've been trafficked and then you go back home you traffic some russian chick that don't know where she's from some asian chick these asian chicks they

work in the massage parlors and shit like that they get trafficked that's why it's such a big deal with the Robert Kraft shit. Because it's like, you're not just getting a hand job. Yeah. You're aiding and abetting these containers full of Asian bitches coming in from fucking China and Thailand that are here for the exclusive purpose of whacking off rich guys. That's the only thing they're brought here for. So you think this chick from the Bronx... So why do you think that this girl from the Bronx faked it? Because she wants to be on

Law & Order like the rest of the people from the Bronx, bro. That's their favorite show. You guys don't know the real story? I've read the story. I just want to hear his thoughts. Before Love & Hip Hop, the most popular reality show to people of New York City was Law & Order, right? Special Victims Unit, right? And

people from the Bronx would watch that every day. They were like, I need to be on Law & Order Special Victims Unit. If you even people from the Bronx watch that every day. They were like, I need to be on Law & Order Special Victims Unit. If you even to this day play dun-dun-dun for somebody on the 6 train as that shit goes to Parkchester,

they're a little bit excited. There's like a Pavlovian reaction. Dun-dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun-dun-dun. Whatever. Oh, there it is. Oh, shit. That's how you stop

a robbery in the Bronx. We got some PTSD real quick. There's a new episode. Play it again. Hold on. So we'll just have a conversation. We'll be talking. And then, you know.

Anyway. Yeah, exactly. Dude, that is a real triggering thing. Very triggering. So I think that being, that was the first going viral. If you could do some shit that they laid, because people don't realize this outside of New York. Law and Order is made from real shit that happens in New York.

I remember, I remember like fucking cases that were happening in New York. Like they have like the Abner Luwima episode. That's it. Oh shit, they're doing an episode on the shit that happened and, you know, the guy getting a puncher up his ass. That's the greatest honor of a hood rat in New York is to be featured in an episode of Law and Order

with Ice-T if Ice-T could be on your case trying to find you that is that means you made it Ice-T still got the funny got the funniest voice

trying to sound like he's a fucking stealing kid and you're you're trafficking yeah pretty good gotta stop trafficking

these little kids man I still can't believe I used to be scared. I stopped trafficking when I was a little kid, man. I still can't believe I used to be scared of iced tea when I was little. Yeah. I was scared of a lot of raps. I was such a pussy when I was little, man.

I'm dead ass. Like iced tea, ice cube, and fucking... Vanilla ice. Vanilla ice. Nah. Iced tea and ice cube

were fucking terrifying as children, god damn it. God damn it God damn You never heard Natural Born Killers First time I heard Natural Born Killers

I was like 7 years old I've never been afraid Of Ice-T Really Never been afraid Of Ice-T Nor Ice-Q Come on man

You don't know Old Ice-T Old Ice-T Or Ice-Q I guess you meant Young Ice-T Never scared me I don't know why

All them West Coast niggas They they just had a different type of energy. Yeah, I just thought like, you know, I hadn't been to the West Coast way back then. Snoop Doggy Dogg, he was so melodic. Like, he never scared me. Like, I remember when they were like, murder is the case that they gave me. I was like, stop it. Murdering nobody. He was like Dr. Seuss rhyming.

New Yorkers. One, like, one, two, three, and to the foe. Snoop did that shit. Grab my gun and knock on his gut. Goddamn. Snoop did that shit. Of course they did it, but they weren't like for me growing up, there was a different

type of scary. So these guys on the West Coast, they didn't really... You know why they terrified me? Shug, yes. They were real. They weren't like the boogeyman and shit. It's like, yo, you go to the West Coast, like, oh shit, you can't wear blue.

Oh shit, you can't wear red. Like, oh shit. But we couldn't wear it here. Well, yeah, exactly. If we were doing that here- I remember I was in middle school and it was like a blood initiation day. It was Halloween day. And that was when the bloods- Yep, halloween it was halloween day and that was

when the bloods jumped in would would buck 50 you they would take this they would go yo do you got the time and then when you look down at your at your watch because we had wore watches back in the day to get the time they would cut your face and that was why they called it buck 50 because 150 stitches to like put your face back together and I remember the school I went to, Wagner Middle School in New York City, they issued a bulletin to all of our parents. They said, don't wear any red on Halloween because they're looking for people who are wearing red. And I remember on the way to the subway, some kid walks up and goes,

do you have the time to us? And I remember I was just like, as a matter of fact, I do. I looked like I was doing a fucking taekwondo it's three o'clock have a nice day holy shit nah that was terrifying and it was worse here i think it was worse here because then it wasn't in la because people in new york are trying so hard to be legit yes try to be like you know they always gotta overcompensate work the same like oh like that shit didn't start here. Yeah. I mean, it started in prisons here, but, like, that was because it was brought from the West Coast.

Yes. You know what I mean? So it was like, you know when motherfuckers got to overcompensate to prove that they're fucking the most down, the most. Yeah. And those are the motherfuckers that, you know what I mean? Like, you're not scared of, but you're wary of because it's always. Because they're trying to prove themselves, right? They got to prove a point.

They got nothing to lose. And it's, you know, it's always. It's like you don't got to worry about the mob boss as much as you nothing to lose and it's you know it's always it's like you don't gotta worry about the mob boss as much as you gotta worry about the guy who wants

to be mob boss yeah exactly like the guy who's trying to impress the mob the guy who's willing to do anything to get that respect

or fucking prove themselves to somebody like that's the fucking bullshit and it's funny if you ever like get your hands on like one of the bibles

yeah cause there's like actual books that have like the rules and shit like that shit's just a self help book oh yeah it's like the nicest book there's so actual books that have the rules and shit. That shit's just a self-help book.

It's like the nicest book. There's so many decent principles just like bettering your life and shit. No gangster shit in the book whatsoever. Wait, why would... See? Hold on a second. Remember months ago and all of a sudden you're like, listen, man.

Oh my God. Stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop. You don't think... Guys, guys, guys. You don't think... Stop, stop, stop. You don't think. You don't think. Guys, guys, guys. You don't think. Guys, guys, guys.

Before we move on. It's very important to clarify. You're not talking about the actual Bible. No. No, no, no. I thought you were a stupid person for about 30 seconds. I was like, why is. No.

No, no. Because let me tell you what's going through. I took gang Bible. Yo, you said you ever get your hand on one of the Bibles. Oh, that's what you said. That's what you said. So I go said Wait a minute I go one why the fuck is he talking about the Bible

Right I'm like is this guy stupid And then the second one I was like Is he making an observation that the Bible helps you I was like you think you're the only one Bro this Jesus guy is like Tony Robbins If you read this thing He's got some pretty nice advice. So explain this.

Explain this. Each gang has a Bible that are like their rules to abide by. It's like a book of principles. Explain this. Explain this. Yeah, it's just like Cass said. It's like a book of principles, like our mission statement and how we should conduct ourselves and shit like that.

It's a brotherhood. We help each other out. We uplift each other. And it's just a self-help book. Yeah. There's no gangster shit at all in the book. Yo, but that's how all that shit starts out, right? It's like-

Everything starts off with good qualities. If you look at the Bible, everything in the Bible is like, yo, don't fuck people up, don't kill people, share, love, all that kind of stuff. Be nice to your friends and neighbors, honor your parents. Spanish Inquisition. The Inquisition pops up, right? And then it's like, yo, we're fighting over whose land is Jerusalem, blah, blah, blah. Like, what are those wars called back in the day?

The, fuck, the Crusades? Crusades, right, right. It's like, that's how it starts. But it's the same shit with mobsters and gangsters. It's those people that wanted to be the super religious. They go, I'm more religious than you. I'm more poppin' than you. I'm willing to kill thousands of people to show people how much I love Jesus Christ.

But I can admit that they're pieces of shit. Yeah. You're still like, no, they're good guys. Oh, no, there's- I'm still a big citizen in the community. I'm still kind of thinking they're good guys. I've never not said, first off, I'm not a gang member. So, of course, I'm not going to say anything to disparage people.

But at the same time- You know Tom from The Godfather? You know, like the adopted white one You know, like, the adopted white one who's, like, the lawyer? That's Kaz with the crips or the blood or whoever the fuck he's connected to. It's like, you're not in it, but you're adjacent,

and you're the guy who comes in like, come on, guys, do we need to take out everybody? Guys, please, is it... It's like, you know, it's like... Guys, I've worn my chain today. I've worn my chain, but part of the group, just please stop killing everybody for two minutes. I defend you guys every week on the podcast.

You're making it very hard. It's never the ideals. It's the enforcement. It's the enforcement of the ideals that always turn negative. Yo, son, maybe Carol Sanchez, this chick who got kidnapped, is like the most brilliant gang member ever because she's like, I'm so gangster, I'm going to kidnap myself. Ain't nobody

ever kidnapped themselves. Oh my God. So apparently the bitch, she faked her own kidnapping because I guess... I knew she faked it because when her brothers and like father whatever Were walking her

Out of the precinct or whatever This dude was looking at her Like there ain't nobody Kidnapping you Like he was so tight Like we barely want you You know what I mean We didn't even know

She was gone We were like yo It's quiet around here We saw that show on Instagram Like oh word I know that girl Oh shit It's my little sister

And I thought it was crystals I feel That's vintage crystals That's vintage crystals That's vintage crystals Yo And yo You know what I was thinking with this New crystal fine

Yeah new crystal got it New crystal fine Yo Yo Shout out to Chris man Yo This thing right here Is

And this thing is And it's important to note That like At 16 years old And this is why I feel bad for Shorty, is because at 16 years old, you're a kid and you do stupid shit. I don't know if you guys have done this before. I ran away from home.

Not really. I just ran down to my fucking apartment building downstairs. But we do this kind of dumb shit for attention. And I know that this is going to become some news story where people are going to fucking trash this little girl. She's a young girl. She's 16. She does dumb shit. That being said, she's going to become some news story where people are going to fucking trash this little girl. She's a young girl. She's 16. She does dumb shit. That being said, she's going to get these jokes.

In my heart, I completely understand why she would do this. Oh, absolutely. Right? Yeah. I could see myself at that age doing some stupid shit just like that. To get some attention. We can't do that now. She was doing it so she don't have to go back to Honduras.

Wait, what happened? The mother wanted have to go back to honduras wait what happened the mother wanted to move them back to honduras she didn't want to go back so she staged a kidnapping so she could stay well wouldn't that make the mom be like well bitch if if you're gonna get kidnapped we might as well do it with cheaper rent that's not the best thing Like stage that you won the lottery Don't stage that you got kidnapped So she was like

She was trying to go I got kidnapped Then she would think The mom would leave Well like she probably Was just gonna hide out For a while Until people forget about her

And then boom God she's 16 years old I'm sure she ain't thinking She ain't thinking out I don't think she thought it out Past the kidnapping But yeah she didn't want To go back to Honduras And I don't blame her Yo I don't blame her either thinking out. I doubt she thought anything past. I don't think she thought it out past the kidnapping. But yeah, she didn't want to go back to Honduras, and I don't blame her. Yo, I don't blame her either, dog.

Son, come on. Allegedly, she had some 23-year-old boyfriend, too. Oh, that is the most Latino thing in the world. Latinos, listening. Latinos. Latinos, okay? What's up with the young girl shit? We really got to understand this.

What's up with the young girl shit? It's not young girls when it comes to lacrosse. Son, there was a baseball player. Y'all didn't hear this story? Son. No, you didn't hear this baseball story? Who was the baseball player? So professional major league pitcher, right?

This guy. Professional. Wait, what are you talking about? Go. No, I'm just saying like he was 23, she's 16. That's wrong. Don't get me. So what's your son and me, this guy and me?

Because you have the same age difference between you and your shorty. Son. That doesn't count, though. The banana ain't green with my shorty. Once the banana turns yellow or the platano for you Latins, it's good to eat. It's good to eat no matter how much longer it's been yellow. So if the shit, my girl 24, if the shit turns yellow, it's already yellow at 18. I won't touch the bananas until they're 20, right?

But it's yellow at 18. Now you good. You can't compare a grown woman. What about Kylie? What about her? You wouldn't have redshirted Kylie until that 18th birthday? No. What is redshirt?

I done turned down an 18-year-old. I've never redshirted a bitch in my life, yo. Alex, you a nasty. No, no, no. He's a Latin. He's a Latin. He's a Latin. This is just.

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Yo, this is just. Yo, this is just. Yo, this is just. Yo, this is just. Yo, this is just. Yo, this is just. Yo, what's up? This is Akash. That was a preview of our Patreon episode. If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant2. Join the illest community on Earth.

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