Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Kim K is Single and Ready For Drake

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

Kim K is Single and Ready For Drake by

what's up everybody welcome to flagrant 2 um it's your boy schultz we're here with akash saying alex media dove mammon is in the uh passenger seat right now as mark is still getting feasted on by the rona dove is out he's officially corona free technically technically you still have corona you've tested positive for corona what i think we should be able to talk about this yeah you didn't tell we should he just got a test he's filled with corona he's fucking riddled with it but since it's been two weeks since what you had a symptom or something like that you're allowed back out two weeks since onset of symptom and that's like super safe 10 days is good exactly but technically he's still got corona moderate to severe asthma i know so he's still got corona i just want to

point out he's still got corona technically all right hey we all got antibodies bro we good mark makes me feel different right now mark is still still getting feasted on, man. And he's having a rough time doing it. He's dying, though. He's fucking dying, bro. You guys laugh every time he says he's dying. It's all funny. It's sad. Who wanted Florida more than Mark?

Oh, that's true. Who believed in Corona less than Mark? Who was more flippant than Mark this whole time? I know that last one, but you got it. That motherfucker was disrespectful to the one, but you got it. That motherfucker was disrespectful to the virus, yo. No respect.

He would take his mask off everywhere, bro. He thought the mask was stupid. He would just do... So Mark, when he's in the spin cycle, does waiter hands.

Mark, when he doesn't care, does like one of these. Hey, Mark, you're not wearing a mask? I mean, you know, you get sick. Let's see. That's the whole shit. Akash is loving Mark being sick.

Nobody is more happy about Mark being sick than Akash. You're right about it. You know how good it is to not be sick for once? Yo, Corona's really worked out for you, yo. It's been great, dog. You took out your competition in New York. Yo. You go back to New York, you, wow. Yo. Hey, hey.

You go back to New York, you're going to be up at every single club because you damn near killed all the old people that are doing comedy. The only one that can keep me out is Colin Quinn. Motherfucker made it. Damn it. Shouts to CQ, man. Can't take out CQ. You destroyed another podcast. Yo, hey.

You destroyed a podcast. You destroyed a podcast that spread a rumor about you. You right. You goddamn right. I forgot. That's payback, bro. Hey, hyenas. Bye, hyenas.

We're supposed to have Giannis on the pod today, as a matter of fact. Oh, really? Yeah, we were. And then he couldn't come down for some reason. Maybe because there's a Rona outbreak over here. Maybe. Maybe. He's one person who cannot outbreak over here. Maybe. Maybe. He's one person who cannot get it again.

Yeah, yeah. That almost broke him, bro. I called him once, dude, and he sounded like Marlon Brando in the fucking Godfather. I was like, how you doing up there? Man, I don't know what it's like. It's taking over my brain. It's taking over my brain. It's taking over my body. I just need to get a test.

Like, why don't you go to the hospital? I can't leave the house, man. Breathing is hard. Thing is hard, bro. Dude, it was some long days for him, bro. I'll tell you about Yanni long days. Yanni was going through some long days with that corona. Yo, bro.

Yo. Yeah. For the benefit of everyone watching, could you pull your shorts down a little, son? You're showing mad thigh meat, son. It's disgusting, son. I'm wearing compression shorts, son. Like, you got to see how you look right now, son.

That's wild, son. Yo, you got bad bitch confidence with those shorts on. You really do. I got some legs, though. You got legs. I'll give you those. I got some legs, though. You got legs. I give you those. Let's be honest, bro. I've had a whole new level of confidence in my legs ever since I came out here.

I'll be on the motorcycle, bro. And when I wear these shorts on my motorcycle, bro, it looks like I'm not wearing anything, dude. Yep. Looks like that right now. And I'm telling you, I see gangsters out here, Haitian gangsters with the fucking weird dreads that go up like Krusty the Clown. Yeah, that Kodak shit. That Kodak shit.

I see them double taking me, bro. How can somebody be that gay? That's disrespectful. But the legs go back to me. So I can see me. The legs are different, bro. Look at that shit right there. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God god that's a nice little step if it wasn't so hairy it'd be all right yeah i guess i got the level of hair is repulsive though anyway so uh what's going on this week man we had a bunch of shit to talk about we had a lot going on we could talk about uh ted cruz everybody going after ted cruz man i know we spoke about on the patreon but i've been thinking a lot about this um i don't uh i mean yeah okay so here's the thing i don't blame him for leaving he left his dog yo that i get that's the most that's the most relatable shit i've ever seen you were just in aruba recently right was your dog with you no okay have any of y'all taken your dog on vacation? Yeah. When?

On vacation, did you take your dog? I have taken my dog on vacation. When? When we came to Miami before we lived here. That's not vacation, motherfucker. No, no, no. Before we lived here, took a trip to Miami, brought the dog. Taken a trip to San Diego, brought the dog.

Aruba is like international. Yo, that's some pussy ass shit, Seth. His dog is like a rat. Yeah, you can fly with your dog. Yeah, Aruba's got the same ass dog as me. First of all, watch your fucking mouth when you talk about happy, yo. It's a cute rat. Why you talking about you got there, right? I'll be honest

with you, though. The leaving the dog shit, anytime I can leave my dog, I leave my dog. Oh. I love my dog. We know. But anytime. But anytime. I got Mark living on the property. I can't wait till he's not getting feasted on So he can just look after my fucking dog

When I gotta go places Okay He don't know that Hey bro Mark can you look after the dog Bro I love it It's amazing Okay Dove

Can you walk the dog While we go out to dinner Me and my girl That's how it works Dove sent me of you Walking your dog in the rain It's the funniest Fucking video

I've ever seen I never related to Your boy Ted Cruz more. You look so mad. You can only see Andrew from the back walking mad fucking slant-footed out here. I soldered. Mad slant-footed. I look like Larry King.

Yeah. I look like I'm being hoisted to heaven. Isn't that what Larry King looked like? Like somebody had him by the suspenders like, come on, Larry, it's time. Nah, you was walking like Phil Jackson in that video. Bro. what Larry King looked like? Somebody had him by the suspenders like, come on, Larry, it's time. Nah, you was walking like Phil Jackson in that video. Bro! You had the Phil Jackson going.

You can't see his face at all, but you can tell he's never been less happy in his life, bro. My dog jumping around all willy-nilly because she don't know what rain is. Motherfucker. Stupid-ass dog. You know what I mean? She don't know she gonna fuck up the furniture. She don't understand things.

I'm just looking at this dog like, you know how long it's gonna take to dry your ass? Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. So, leave the dog. I get that, 100%. Nah, that's vile. No, no, no, no.

That's vile. Okay, okay. No heat for that little ass dog. Say what? No heat for that little ass dog. It's built out of warmth. Nah, a dog that little, that could go.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Dogs don't have houses. Dogs that small don't survive, bro. Yes, they do. Those damn dogs. How we got them? We bred them motherfuckers for the house. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Nah, there's like a chart of what size. Okay, what kind of dog is it? It's a little multi-pool looking ass dog. Are you sure about that? Yeah, look at the picture. His name is Snowflake, ironically. Ain't that some shit? Hilarious.

Ain't that some shit? Hilarious. Okay. Looking out the window looking mad sad. ted cruz so leaving the dog i 100 get because it's not a vacation if you have your dog yeah it's almost not a vacation if you have your kids i believe that too it's a poodle no that's a full-grown poodle bro look at that window look at that window that's a tiny ass dog that window next to it nah it's a full-grown poodle bro no full-grown poodle that's a little tiny ass dog That window next to it Nah that's a full grown poodle bro You know full grown poodle That's a full ass grown poodle dog

That's an ugly ass dog I'm gonna be honest Anyway back to this So Ted Cruz Leaves the dog Right 100% understand Leaving the dog

Never But you have That's the thing You're being fake In the house Leave it in the house You wanna leave it Outside the house Akash

You leave it at a daycare It's fucking freezing outside You're in the middle of an ice storm People are friends Where would you leave your house You've got the whole, Akash? You leave it at a daycare. It's fucking freezing outside. You're in the middle of an ice storm. People with friends. Where would you leave your house? You've got the whole fucking house. Where would I leave my house? Where would you leave the dog?

Not in my house. We're friends. Stop it. At a doggy daycare? Shouts to pop culture? Why wouldn't you have somebody check on the house? You'd better have a security guard or somebody check on the house. The security guard was checking on the house.

Everybody's going through no fucking electricity, no water. You're going to task somebody to go in a fucking winter storm. How we know his house doesn't have it? Freezing dope. That's why they left. No, they left because he didn't want to deal with all the bitch assness that was going on in Texas. He left because he didn't have no heat.

Are you sure? Yes. Yes. Yo, y'all are being fake right now. No, y'all are really being fake. I never left our dog at the house. No, y'all are being fake. Oh, don't say y'all.

I'll get rid of the dog Thank you I'll just run it back and get a new one Yo I took my dog to the fucking vet You being fake The dog told me You being fake The vet told me it was a thousand dollars

I told my girl turn her face I go we could buy a brand new dog Leave it there run it back A thousand dollars A brand new dog With none of these problems That's why they started making toy dogs. Because they're toys. Lead them toys.

There we go. And I love my dog. You can't buy one of your dogs for no thousand dollars. You know good and god damn well you can't buy one. I spent a thousand back home in New York and then another thousand here. And then I was like, if this happens again, we could buy a new one. So it's a problem. Why don't you get pet insurance, son?

Pet insurance, bro. It's the only insurance that's worth it yeah i do have pet insurance i don't know what the fucking deal with it is i don't do that kind of stuff you had to just get your dog like let your dog die say another one yeah no i don't want that dog to die i don't want the dog to die that's not it i just don't want to fill out paperwork i don't want to do any of that yeah yeah so i end up just paying for things i don't want i don't want to do paperwork my point is that's valid i can't believe you're making the argument that you should bring your dog on vacation you're a liar you went to aruba you didn't bring your dog on vacation i didn't leave him at the house where'd you leave him doggy daycare so with a bunch of

other dogs you could fucking gnarle on your dog's stupid face the entire time you have no clue oh we have clues. We get videos. You have no clues. We get videos. You don't get no videos. You got to look on their Instagram story if you want to see what's happening to your dog. No, a different daycare, bro.

Shouts to Pups at Play in Montclair, New Jersey. There you go. We out here. Okay, point is, you left your dog. We get some free boarding for that. You left your dog. So is the issue leaving the dog or is it leaving it in the house? It's leaving it at the house stranded.

Now, question. No heat. Question. If you stayed in Texas, which is what you wanted them to do. Yeah, Ted Cruz? Hold on. Where would they be? At the house, correct?

Yeah, yeah. With how much heat? Yeah, find a place for the dog. No, no, no. How much heat? Heat. No, no, no. Answer the question.

Don't wriggle out of it. How much heat? They have the heat of love. No, no, no, no, no, no. The warmth of human bodies. The warmth of human bodies. The warmth of human bodies. Right, right, right.

So, in other words, the same amount of zero heat. No. Oh, my God. That's a different... We're going to really do... Am I talking to a woman? Am I talking to a woman right now? We're not going to have a logical fucking discussion right now. How much heat would be in the house if they're there with the dog?

The same no heat, right? So, you're okay with the dog having no heat as long as humans are there, but you're not okay with the dog having no heat if there are no humans. Send the dog and your wife and kids to motherfucking Cancun and you stay and handle business.

Yes. Well, now we're getting to where I want to go. Now we're close to where I want to go. Okay? Long ass way to get there. Because I'm arguing with a fucking female the whole time I can't because of you is the dog warm shit the dogs gonna be warm because of love

dog is cold because there's not enough love. The guy with the IG for his dog. I know exactly how much a dog weighs from looking at the fucking picture of him in the door. Yeah, I know. He's a poodle. He's a multi-poo. I don't know. I think all dogs are big.

So. It's not a fucking dog if it's not. My point is. My point is. The point I'm trying to make is this. You're okay with the dog being cold in the house already this is let's just be logical you're okay with the dog freezing his ass off as long as human beings are freezing their ass off with it you didn't say take

the dog and send it somewhere warm you said be at home with the dog did you not sure sure okay let's go we're getting somewhere thank you very So, why don't you do this? Leave the fucking dog there. Let other human beings take care of the dog while you go on vacation. Why can't you do that? That's better. That's my suggestion from the beginning. I said multiple times, have somebody else take care of it.

Leave it with a friend. They proved it. They did. The guy kept on checking it. If I'm going to leave, let me find a friend who got power here you take the dog we can't i thought no one has power some people had power it was that's part of the problem some people had some people didn't lose power didn't lose anything and other people that's what they think like rich suburbs in dallas for a fact i got friends that are like bro i didn't

hotels with generators people were there is options leaving the dog at the house that's where i'm like bro there's options if we in the house together i'm not looking at options we just trying to survive if i'm fucking escaping leave the dog with somebody don't just leave the motherfucker at the house alone leave that dog in the house bro yeah i believe in it yeah i mean it makes more sense to leave it with somebody But I'm so dug in on this argument That I'm like leaving the fucking house Now who's the woman? Now who's the woman?

Now I'm the woman You made me become a woman by you being so emotional That's what I be doing I know you're very good at it I transform you You're very good at feminizing I do that shit yo Listen so you want the dog to be taken care of.

Sure. Yes. You can't empathize with someone who just wants to leave their dog and leave their responsibility so they can enjoy Cancun. You did it in Aruba. Not like that. So you must be able to empathize. Not like that.

No, no, no, no. When you decide to put your dog somewhere else to go to Aruba, what were you thinking? What would be best for the dog or what would be best for you? I got to go. I can't bring this kid. What's the best option? To to dog where i can take a vacation and he's taken care of it's a dog it's not a kid and you could bring him you could bring it you can find a hotel that allows to accommodate dogs no if you try and this is where cancun it's valid if you're like international it's just different they're not like you gotta have like different shit you gotta try

a little harder. You might have enough time. You gotta care a little bit more. We booked a ticket. Oh, it was two last minute. Yeah, yeah. You were just thinking about you guys. So that's where I can understand. Why don't you think about it ahead of time

and think about your dog? Do you care? Your kid. I'm sorry, your kid. But that's where I can understand. You just threw your child with some random people. That's where I can understand.

I'm Claire New Jersey. Yeah, yeah. Pop factory. People leave their kids with babysitters. They probably make glue out of your dog, bro. People leave their kids with babysitters? Say what? People leave their kids with babysitters? They probably make glue out of your dog, bro. People leave their kids with babysitters? Say what?

People leave their kids with babysitters? I'm sorry. White people get that more than anybody. Let's go back on this babysitter thing. I can't wait.

I can't wait. No, no, no, no, no. People leave their kids with babysitters? Let's go back to old podcasts. Only white people leave their kids

with babies. Indians, we would never leave our kids. We love our kids so much. We leave it with relatives. I got money now. I can't keep back an Indian all the time. We love our kids so much. We leave it with relatives. I got money now. I can't keep acting Indian all the time.

I got to be a little white. Mark it. Mark it. I love it. I love it. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second. Some of you guys need some new headphones.

That's a fact. Some of you listening to this right now, some bullshit. Maybe you even got wires still on your headphones. Fucking dorks. Nerds, right? Step it up. Get the wires away. Getting caughtorks. Nerds, right? Step it up. Get the wires away. Getting caught on stuff,

snatching them right out of your ears. There's nothing more uncomfortable than that. I remember you once saying a terrorist could get any information they wanted from you if they just put the wired headphones in your ear and yanked them out.

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Sure. But everybody's okay with grifting if there are people benefiting from it. For example, if you're a rich person and you give a lot of money to charity, nobody cares that you're writing it off in taxes because there are so many people that are taking advantage of that charitable donation. So she raised millions of dollars. She's leaning into this. But she basically digging cruz's grave right now every million it goes up that grave gets a foot deeper it's over for that brilliant but keep in mind remember she said ted cruz she blamed him for what happened to her she was like ted cruz reminds me of uh like the guy who sexually assaulted me do you guys remember

that she said a few of the senators who were inciting she felt like we're inciting the riots and then telling people to get over it she was like that reminds me of the guy who assaulted me or when i was younger and just telling me to get over these things do you guys remember what i'm talking about i thought i don't know the full clarify though yeah well she also uh she blamed cruz and other folks for allowing her to be exposed to potentially getting murdered but then she like clapped back at him when he agreed to her tweet about the congressional uh look into gamestop and all of that and she like brought it back again like oh uh i don't care that you agree with me you almost had me murdered. Right, right, right, right, right.

That was a point where like, yeah. So this is a personal vendetta, but this is a savvy political chick. She's been savvy with that. She a star. She a fucking star, dog. She's savvy, dude. She's fucking savvy. She's not dumb.

She's not dumb. She knows what she's doing. And she's, it's not even beyond, the Ted Cruz thing is the biggest thing, but also it's a red state where they're going to be inclined to hate her but as somebody whose parents are stuck yo god bless her you're the best you can flip people like that yeah nobody in texas yeah the easiest way to get people on your side is to give them money yes it's not even andrew yang went from nowhere right like who the fuck is andrew yang right asian dude out of nowhere

becomes a presidential candidate just by saying i want to give everybody a thousand dollars literally all he goes i want to give every i believe in universal basic income people are like i don't know what the fuck that is you want a thousand dollars well yeah this fucking chinese guy's smart this guy's genius i love this chinese yang gang yang gang yeah oh my god remember yeah gang gang yeah i don't know all he listen do you know a single policy of his outside if i want to give everybody a thousand dollars absolutely not automation he knows is bad i'm with that and he's smart he probably knows a bunch of shit maybe he was a businessman i don't know what the fuck is going on he's running for

mayor of new york everybody in new york is like i think i like this guy not because he's walking in bodegas and grabbing fucking fruit salad he's gonna give everybody a thousand dollars even if he hasn Even if he hasn't said that, everybody in New York is like, oh, yeah, the Chinaman is going to give us $1,000. We've got to vote for that guy. If you give people money, they like you. Yep. Very simple. Yep. And this chick, AOC, is out there handing out ducats in Ted Cruz's backyard.

It's unbelievable. It's actually better than turkeys. Like, if instead of turkeys, you were just handing people $100 bills, don't you think they'd like them a lot more? I'm going to Boston Market, save $80, live a great life. What? What poor person got a big enough oven

to fit a 20-pound turkey? There's just a frozen turkey that down the next block they're trying to sell. They're flipping turkeys. Yep. Dude. Anyway, so she's a a frozen turkey that down the next block they're trying to sell. They're flipping turkeys. Dude. Anyway, so she's a fucking savvy chick, this girl, man. She's a star, and Ted Cruz is getting cucked out. King Cuck?

Getting cucked out in your own state by your biggest political rival. That's so true. Oh my God. This guy's just watching her give out money, and then he's like, here, you want some shitty bottled water? You can't even get motherfuckers to send you? That's right. He was giving the water with the salt in it he was giving the public's brand yeah you're giving public's water out there bro so the the trade the crazy shit about um aoc also or maybe this is the thing with ted cruz is like um he's completely

devoid of uh excuse me understanding social interaction so he could be like uh on the spectrum a bit yeah like he understands how to play the character of a human being like anytime you see him talking you're like oh he's playing a character of a human being yeah you know it's like almost like a comic that like has like a fake voice you're like oh there's a funny character you're playing but it's not really you yes right um will ferrell yeah is great at this. Now, so if you look at him through that lens, he can be smart and completely devoid of any rationale as to how this could affect him negatively. He's just looking at it like a robot. He's like, well, if I move out of my house and go to a hotel, how is that different than if I move out of my house and go to Cancun? Yeah. Like, they have internet in Cancun.

They have internet in my hotel here. I can't meet with people because of COVID. So what's the difference? I can get my work done in a hotel in Cancun or I can get my work done in a hotel in downtown Dallas, wherever the fuck he lives. Yeah. Right?

I mean, I can see how an autistic person or a spectrum person would go through that logic and go, yeah, it's not that bad. I just think he's a coward, but I could – fair. But if he was a coward, he wouldn't go. If he was a coward, he'd be so terrified. Cowards live in fear, right? They live in fear of public perception. They live in terror and fear of being actually physically harmed.

He would be fearful of the physical harm or emotional it doesn't occur to him that part but he's also like i'm we're so socially stupid but he's also like i'm cold i don't want to be cold i'm not sitting here for this i'm getting the fuck out right there's some coward cowardly shit i guess what i'm trying to say you know why we want him to stay because misery loves company my parents are miserable motherfucker you miserable yeah you the senator you miss it dude i'm petty bro patrice said the best shit about bush he goes i love bush and they were like why he goes there he goes this is after the 9-11 shit he goes he goes he goes because his whole shit is if we if we die everybody dies yeah and that's lit if we gonna die everybody gonna die yeah so i love the misery love company that

shit is that shit i'm just trying to find some rationale okay um so let's move on what else was uh kim and kanye okay kim and kanye game over game over um thoughts i mean we saw a comment i guess for a while i think kim who's who's next is the only thing I've been wondering. I think it's Drake, right? It's got to be Drake. There's only one way to go. Only one way to go. And it's such the Kardashian move.

And it's such the Drake move. Because Drake, we talked about dancing on grays. Drake, dance on your shit. He don't give a fuck. Drake is a killer. Yeah. I didn't even put that together. Like his beat with Kanye. Oh, he wants it, bro. Yeah. Oh, that's a great, I didn't even put that together, like his beat with Kanye.

Oh, he wants it, bro. Yeah. He's also friends with the Kardashian. Oh, yeah, that's the neighbor. They were all homies. And he's been alluding to it for a while, but now that it's Dunzo, it's the perfect move for both of them. He already alluded that he fucked her. Yeah, but now there's no need to allude anymore.

Now you're single. Now I can just openly be with you. The J-Lo style post or whatever he did, even if it's not real. Remember that post he had with J-Lo where it looked like they had been fucking? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He could do the exact same thing with Kim. I forgot that one. I forgot that one.

They're all snuggled up. I think they're wearing bathrobes or some shit like that. Something. It was like a couple years ago. He came out to her residency in Vegas, and they were hanging out. A picture like that. You're both in robes drinking wine. They know what they're doing.

They're like, yo, let's shake up the internet for a day. You could do the same shit. And who's more willing to do that than Kim? And she always moves up. Yeah. I don't know about fame or any of that shit, but Drake is a mega, mega star who's seen as sane and cool and all of that shit.

And that's the only chess move left. And it's checkmate, really. Is it weird that with... There's much to criticize about the Kardashians. Don't get me wrong. Okay? But with Kim, specifically, and Kanye, I think she's the victim without a doubt like like we could we could talk about

all the things that the kardashians do that are potentially disgusting yep but in this specific relationship like remove kim as the person who came to fame through a sex tape and her mother essentially pimping that out and them projecting this specific lifestyle and potentially using and cooking up this drama and destroying maybe people's lives on the way and profiting off of that. Let's remove them from the Kardashians. Specifically, Kim Kardashian with Kanye West. If Kanye is crazy, which I think we believe is true. Mentally ill. Mentally ill. The politically correct podcast.

Which is called fucking Ted Cruz a retard for 30 minutes. But if Kanye is mentally ill. I know a motherfucker is mentally ill. Yeah. That shit is exhausting, bro. Yeah, you have a different level of empathy for that. Hey!

This guy is driving tanks in Wyoming. You got to just put up with him wanting to go drive tanks in Wyoming. Support him along the way. You bailed his broke ass out. Think about this. You marry this guy who's telling you he's a genius all the time

and he just keeps losing more and more millions. And you look at him like, ain't looking too genius right about now, right? Finally, you get him cooked up with some power players, right? The scooters of the world. Yeah. To get the easy thing going, he becomes a billionaire, sure. I don't know if he gets that connect and that gets that put together without kim i don't know if they it's interesting i don't

know he had enough to bring all those people to him before the kardashians came around that's wild dog that was disgusting that shit grossed me out i I felt like a Kardashian. I was looking like Kendall. When you get that outfit, fashion nobles? I might have. I got it at Bash. What was their store back in the day? Dash. Dash.

I got it at Dash. I think Kim is definitely the victim. I'm surprised they lasted that long. Yeah, and we're losing victim. We're using victim loosely here. We're not dealing with a horrible person to be with. She's the hero. She's dealing with a crazy human being. Yeah, all these terms are relative.

Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying. I don't want to exaggerate. It's tough for me to feel bad for any Kardashian because I don't look at them as human beings. But if I put on the glasses of this is an actual human being with a soul, I see how she's a victim.

This is the only way I look at it. If she didn't have kids, I'd be like, you're an idiot. Like, why are you staying with this guy? Why does she keep having kids, though? She loves having kids, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a woman. That's what they do.

Cute kids, too. Yeah. Yeah, and they make some cute kids. So here's the thing. Like, you love, potentially you love this guy. Yeah, she definitely has. Who's crazy, right? You stay with him.

You rock with him. He's broke. Fucking your whole brand up. You could clip that off. It's not like she hasn't clipped motherfuckers before. He's doing crazy shit that makes your brand look stupid. The MAGA shit made her look crazy. She's trying to get goodwill in the black community for fucking decades.

What do I have to do? I'm getting black guys out of jail. And then all of a sudden, my black husband, who's the father of my half black kids, is walking around a fucking MAGA hat. What the fuck are you doing? I push back on that. Whoa. What is it a push back on? Because every bit of controversy

does help their brand. I mean, she started... Not that MAGA shit. She started her path. I'm telling you, yes, they have found a way to monetize interest. I agree with what you're saying

right here, Akash. Correct me if I'm wrong, but what you're saying right here akash like correct me if i'm wrong but what you're saying is if they have eyeballs they make money it doesn't matter if they're good or bad i think they are keenly aware of that and do a lot of things to get 100 i also do think she's been doing a lot to curry favor within the black community specifically of late getting the criminal justice reform like branding herself that's why i feel worse for her because she's actually you we can see the work that she's done this ain't legally blonde bitch sit your ass down but i mean like she's not so focused on just like breaking the internet and

shit like that like she's just a mom who loves her kids and who's been trying to make her marriage work she really hasn't been doing all the fucking bullshit she used to do in the past so that's the only reason why I feel sorry for her because she's actually tried to grow and make... Oh, I don't feel sorry. No, I feel sorry for her. I don't feel sorry. I feel sorry for her. That's not what she signed up for. I'm also fine with leaving dogs in a cold house.

I would be totally okay with that if they were there. But they did live apart for a good part of the last three years. He was living in Wyoming. She's living in la like they weren't even living together so right that's fire that's fire this guy's good i'm driving a fucking tank dolo just living the life so point is i don't know i don't know like i'm looking at this situation and i actually i'm like yo she was a ride or die ass chick word for this fucking

crazy egomaniac word who did nothing positive for if she's if the premise is all i do is care about the brand and all i want to do is do more shit for the brand did nothing positive for if she's if the premise is all i do is care about the brand and all i want to do is do more shit for the brand did nothing positive for the brand nah definitely helped the brand in the beginning you think kanye linking up with kim legitimized her from just being like some athletes bitch persona that's like on instagram and shit like that like she became high fashion after kanye so it boosted her brand, but then she capitalized off that and created an empire with it.

So Kanye definitely helped her because we were looking at her. We were looking at her like emperor. Before, who were her guys? Reggie Bush was a college star, fine as a pro, nothing crazy. Miles Austin, couple good years. And then she married Chris Humphrey?

Yeah. That, Come on. My man is like selling houses or something. Yo, you know what's crazy is like she could have really liked them, yo. Like she could have liked them. Like this is how fucked up we are, right? Is we're like, yo, you didn't just gold dig and go after the most successful famous person, you idiot. When, when, if we should be looking at her going oh shit

she actually found some guys that weren't the best but maybe they had cool personality and they connected and that's why she fucked with them and we're criticizing her for that we're we're criticizing her for what we wish every girl would do i'm actually not like a dude's personality i'm not with chris humphries because of how good he is. Hold on. Hold on. I'm not criticizing her. I'm making fun of them. You had bum dudes. That's fine. You had bum dudes. Great. You loved them. How are you making fun of them? They got to fuck Kim Kardashian getting six rebounds

a game. Yeah, I'm just making fun of their skill level. That's it. As a pleasant athlete. But for the brand, you're not elevated. You're not elevated marrying Chris Humphries. You're not like, oh shit, Chris Kim Kardashian got Chris Humphries. You're making my, oh, shit, Kim Kardashian got Chris Humphrey. You're making my point. Exactly.

No, so I can agree with your point. I'm just saying, even then, to agree with Alex's point, then when you get with Kanye, now you're a different person. Yeah. You're talking about Kim now. But Kim, when she was with Chris Humphreys, some people wouldn't want to fuck her. She had a sex tape out. That was her claim to fame. Who would want to wife that? A to wipe that a lot of people had a mad stank on her like

nobody there you go now that's a great argument kanye removed the sex tape stank i'll give you that a hundred percent empire blew up after that he removed so there was still the stench of the sex tape even though the sex tape. Even though the sex tape became a popular way to become famous, we saw a lot of girls do it, there was still a stench of it, right? And they had their TV show, and there was this home family, and you got to understand them and meet them, and they seemed normal, and they said Bible to promise something like that.

She didn't say that before she was taking the dang lab. to promise something like that she didn't say that before she was taking the dang lab but uh but in all seriousness she goes and gets with kanye and all of a sudden he removes that stench yep and that is invaluable and i wonder if that was by design on her behalf and i wonder if his ego was also going a little part of him was like you know how like a chef goes you i could turn this parsnip into a steak yeah and i could sell that shit for for a hundred dollars because i'm so nice at being a chef these motherfuckers will eat a parsnip steak and i wonder if he was like i could turn this sex tape slut

who fucked you know wide receivers that barely in the league still into the most desired woman on the planet and remove the stench of that sex tape

have her talk to the presidents I wonder if that was his ego tapping in maybe cause he claimed to do that for Amber and he would remember when him Presidents, I wonder if that was his ego tapping in. I think so. Maybe. Because he claimed to do that for Amber.

And he would, remember when him and Kim first got together? He would dress Kim. Son. He was obsessed with her for a while. Son, Kanye. He made her. That's how I knew he was mentally ill. Joe, go on.

I mean, listen, you in love with this? Kim Kardashian? You obsessed with Kim Kardashian Writing diss songs for Chris Humphrey Before that it was Amber Diss songs for Chris Humphrey is hilarious Diss songs for Chris Humphrey That's just lunatic behavior You don't need to do a whole song

You don't need no beats He wrote the song bro That ill ass beat You know Chris Humphrey's listening to that shit like Really bro come on man I'm already me bro He worth your shit? He worth a song, bro? That ill-ass beat you make at a Chris Humphries? You know Chris Humphries listening to that shit like, really, bro? Come on, man. I'm already me, bro. I don't know what's going on.

Chris Humphries listening to that shit like, I made it. I made it. This is the greatest show I ever got. Nah, he's like, you're bullying me now, bro. You're bullying me, bro. They put me on TV for half a season and she divorced me for ratings. Yo, bro. They made him look like an asshole.

Yo, but Kanye takes bodies off of your belt. Yeah. They made him look like an asshole. Yo, but Kanye takes bodies off of your belt. Yeah. Like, everybody, if you're a girl and you got 100 bodies, right? You got 100 dicks is what I'm basically trying to say. Kanye knocks off 90% of your dicks.

If the slut march was a person, it would be Kanye West. Here's the thing. He ends the shame of a slut. Well, that's a hilarious observation. Slut march leans into being a slut. Kanye removes your slut. I don't know if he's still got the clout to do it, but at one point in time, he had enough clout to make people

forget that you were a stripper, forget that you might have done some sex for money, who knows, and forget that you had a fucking sex tape out. That's clout. When your dick cleanses a bitch, your dick cleanses bitches, bro. You're dipping them in holy water.

Jesus walks real tall. Baptizing bitches. Baptizing these hoes, man. Kanye is the GOAT. Hallelujah for hoes. Usually you put your dick in a girl and there's one more body he puts his dick in girls pulls out bodies

holy shit got that motor combo motor combat scorpion dick right get over here finish her wow dude that is I mean I don't even know if Kanye knows this about himself.

Yeah, he probably don't. He would have bragged about it already. He says, I made these bitches famous. He never said, I made these bitches virgins. I made these bitches bodiless. I made these bitches slutless. He removes your slut. I hope he hears this.

He got to put this in the next track. He does. This should be fire. That's an amazing ability. Yo, you think single Kanye going to put out good music? No. He's driving tanks in Wyoming.

I can't wait for 808. Next one. I don't think he's heartbroken enough. What? I don't think he's heartbroken enough. All right. And I don't. I'm worried if he don't off himself real talk. Well, if he offs himself off and stuff, I don't think he's heartbroken all right and i don't i'm worried if he don't off

himself real talk well if he offs himself off and stuff i don't think it will be off of i don't think it will be off of kim and i'll tell you why he's not heartbroken but he'll off himself not off himself he off himself that's not the point the point was he's off himself like somebody will go to him be like bro you're not that genius bro you just go boom boom bap on a fucking sound maker. You know what I mean? This guy really comparing himself to fucking Elon Musk. This is what Kanye does. We bought in.

Bangers. That's it. And then sing shitty. Nah, stop it. Don't do that. We bought into the Kanye genius and that you would drive me crazy. Don't do that. I was working out Kanye genius and that you would drive me crazy. Don't do that. I was working out to him yesterday, bro.

Yeah, come on, son. That motherfucker got some hits, bro. I could love your music and you not be a genius. I felt a little less slutty after working out next to him. There we go. I did, bro. I really did. Yo, you put Kanye on at a party, you could put Kanye on the hood.

You could put Kanye on in a bougie ass party. Kanye's in and out.ye's in and out you could have in and out at some fancy fuck if you brought in and out to some fancy party in star island in miami people would lose their fucking minds bro they would go we got an in and out truck at the how'd you get this here it's five dollar hamburgers these motherfuckers are billionaires they will lose their minds right in and out for whatever reason crosses all class boundaries okay i'm with you keep going in and out you can put them at the bougie i mean in and out kanye west you could put on a kanye west mix at the most bougie party or the hood nobody's mad white people love gold diggerigger. White people love Gold Digger.

Looking at their wives. They're sitting on the couch looking at their wives like, bitch, you done did it. I'm proud of you, bitch. But isn't that true? Poke holes if they're there. Absolutely. Nah, that's valid.

Did it take Kanye and Kim getting divorced for me to realize how dope Kanye is? Yeah, I think so. Yo, son. I think so. Yo, you know what it is? It's a mistake on his name.

Kanye, but you know what it is? I don't agree with the reasons why Kanye believes he's dope. Okay, now I'm with you. Keep going. So Kanye is like, oh my God, I'm like the most amazing music. Fashion. Fashion. I don't care about amazing music. Fashion. Fashion. I don't care about those things.

But, and I've seen better clothes. I've heard better music. He's a great producer. I'm not going to knock him. He's incredibly influential with fashion. I don't even think he was at least. No, no, you're right. I agree with you in terms of influence.

I don't think he's innovative. I think he's influential. Influential. Very. So he'll take some shit that exists and use his influence to get everybody. And then it's hot the second he wears it. Agreed. Old fashioned. Why are you digging? Why his influence to get everybody a great point.

Why are you putting holes in a great plan? I have a great point. Why are you doing that? He's making me walk like Jack Sparrow. I've got to avoid these little landmines. Jack Sparrow will be walking like this, jumping back and forth. That's what I'm doing right now.

But that's a very important distinction, what Akash just said. Not innovative. Influential. And that is why I give pushback whenever he refers to himself as a genius because he's comparing himself to people who are innovative, not influential. But what he did with the church thing was pretty innovative, bringing that back. Capitalize on God. That's been done many times. No, but his style of it.

Going to church on a Sunday and playing music? What? Like he changed. Black people haven't been doing that for a minute? How long black people been going to church? He's been going to that Puerto Rican ass church. How long black people been going to church on Sunday and singing? How long black people have been going to church? I don't know. He's been going to that Puerto Rican-ass church. Hold on. How long black people have been going to church on Sunday and singing?

How long black people? I understand. Kanye just made it fire. He's making it pop. Usually he steals our shit. Now he's stealing your shit. Let me tell you something. This Jewish guy wanted to go to Sunday service.

Yeah, but you never think about black church. Black church service slaps. I want to go to black church as well. Kanye church service slapped less than the average AME. I'll tell you that right now. I'm going to give a pushback on that one. I was with you until you said that shit. I don't like any of y'all, to be honest with you.

All y'all suck my dick, to be honest with you. I'll tell you one thing. If I suck your dick, you a hoe. God, they can't remove that dick suck, right? Ain't nothing. Ain't nothing. Yo, can Kanye fuck a dude and then they not gay no more? Probably. Holy shit.

Probably. Holy shit. Yo. Probably. Ask Jeffree Star what's good. Yo, maybe ask the Jeffree Star room. Jeffree Star was like, how do I get these bodies off of me, bro? I got too many bodies.

Kanye was like, hold my tapioca soda. Whatever you be drinking, bro. You know you got some new shit. Tapioca soda. Whenever he'd be drinking, bro. You know he got some new shit. Tapioca soda? It sounded hot, bro. Do you know what tapioca is? That just sounded like a Jack Johnson song, right? I just thought he was rich, so that's why he drinking.

And I didn't want to be poor, so I left. I'm like, damn, I'm that poor. Tapioca soda now? Tapioca soda, son. Tapioca soda, bro. Y'all don't even know about that. That comes with the watches, too? Shit, girl. Oh, I got to see that shit. soda, son. Tapioca soda, bro. Y'all don't even know about that. That comes with the watches, too? Shit, girl.

Oh, I got to see that shit. Oh, shit. I got to get this back to my girl by four. She's like, oh, man. Okay. So there's the discrepancy. I understand Kanye's greatness and it's for none of the reasons why Kanye believes he's great. That's a great way of putting it.

That's a great way of putting it. And then I think it's almost like... You understand kanye's genius i think right because his music is great he makes great music but that's it i can only give him the credit for genius if it's intentional and i don't know if what he's doing is intentional because his greatness is not what he takes pride in so i think that he the things he takes pride in i'm like about but by acting the way he does and creating the way that he creates or influence in way he creates it has a monumental side effect that i think is fucking unbelievable i don't know if he's aware of. And I wonder if he was like, yeah, actually, I just do all this other marketing shit

so I can really do this. I'd be like, you the motherfucker. You're right. Go stand up there with Bezos and stand up there with Musk and you got it. You got it. You done fooled me, bro.

You got it. I don't know if that's what he's saying. But maybe. It could be. I'm literally, as we're talking right now doing a 180 on kanye but it's not for the reasons kanye says that's bad it's undeniable his it's influence oh he's incredibly that's what it is it's fucking influence and of course him and kim created a a uh what is her actual... She's an influencer.

She's the influencer. He is the influencer. Yeah. And both of them together created a megachurch of influence. Mm-hmm. But then he started fucking up the brand. And he started fucking up the goddamn brand. Holy shit.

That was the megachurch of fucking influence. Whatever they wore, it was unbelievable yeah well weren't they the ones that made champion hot like they just started wearing champion and then all of a sudden that shit is that right is that right all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because uh i gotta save y'all some money simple as that we gotta save y'all some money you ready for some free fucking savings akash are you ready to give them what do you know about you know i know about honey.com if there's an indian app it's honey.com honey.com bare minimum what they're going to do is going to

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Anything before we move on? I think you... I had a point. So you know how you guys said that if Drake gets with Kim, that would kill Kanye? I think what would kill him even more is if Beyonce and Jay-Z become cool with Kanye. I mean, become cool with the Kardashians. Okay, go. Because he has, for the last decade have been trying to

get back in jay-z's good graces and then like it kills him that they don't fuck with him at all and um beyonce doesn't like kim that's why they didn't go to the wedding that's kind of what created their little beef to begin with yes and so now i've been filled in on this it's because kim is cool with um rachel roy and that's the guy that Jay-Z cheated with. Girl, girl, girl. Yeah, the girl that Jay-Z cheated with. I didn't know. I didn't hear that part.

I'm sorry. I'm not in the gay circle. Hey, bro. We got the tea in the gay circle. I mean, we got the tea. We got the dick. We got the cum. We got it all.

We sipping on all of it. But yeah, so that would kill him. I hope that doesn't happen. No, I don't think. I would kill Kanye. I don't think Beyonce would do that. I actually hope that happens. I think Kanye will be back cool with Jay again. Oh, now

that they... Yeah, the reason they don't hang out is because my wife don't like your wife. Now you divorced. We good. Yeah, but Kanye has done too many things to piss Jay off and shit like that. But Jay, I think, also knows how good it would look if he took Kanye back in this moment. Kanye's a broken man. And Jay is the capitalist. Yo, Jay's a genius, though. That's this moment kanye's a broken man and jay is the capitalist yo jay's a

jay's a genius that's a genius that's a genius you know why i appreciate jay is because like he's so like transparent with his fraudulence yes that like you're like all right i get it like he'd be like we got what do you mean he'd be like, yo, we got to support our own. You know what I mean? I got a product that's black owned. We got to support our own until it's successful enough for me to sell it to some white motherfuckers that be oppressing us. Literally, he's like, why are you buying that other champagne?

They look down on us. And just recently, he sold a 50% stake of Ace of Spades to Moet and whatever. Moet Hennessy. Moet Hennessy, right? So it's just hilarious. Like when he was trying to sell off Tidal, yo, this is our shit that I'm trying to sell over here to Samsung, whoever the fuck it was that he was trying to sell it to.

But I just respect it because I know what he's doing. He's a capitalist. He's a capitalist. He never pretended to be anything but a capitalist. Boom, exactly. And now, I understand he's fraudulent, but you could also make an argument

and be like, yeah, but he's still bailing motherfuckers out of jail for these marches when they get arrested. He's still putting his money where his mouth is, but Jay-Z will always do

the financial thing. And he hasn't claimed he hasn't gone out and be like like he'll do that shit where he bails out the people but he doesn't announce it like i'm an activist i'm a great guy yep he does that on the low that's the shit he wants to do that he feels comfortable doing and then he goes out and gets his money at whatever cost he had that one line in moment of clarity addressing it where he basically said, like, I can't get back to the poor if I'm one of them. So I get rich and get back to them. That's a win-win.

Yeah. Something like that. So that's his move. He announced that. Actually, I don't like that line. Why not? Because it makes it. He had one line addressing what he does.

But it makes it seem like that's his intention is to give back to the poor it's not his intention his intention is to be a capitalist which is great yeah but he's the win-win means we both we both win win-win you're right you're right okay okay i guess what i'm saying is i didn't like the positioning as if his sole purpose of getting money right was to give back to the poor because that's not the sole purpose but he is saying if i get money i'm also going to be able to give back So motherfuckers are going to be a little bit better off. That's basically who he's been his whole time. I get rich. I get back a little bit.

You got it. I wonder if we're the minority. And I wonder if the people listening to this podcast also fit into that, where it's like, we prefer the overt honesty. Yes. Or if, if it isn't the overt honesty,

we, we prefer you not to be publicly fraudulent yes so even if you say nothing and we just judge you by your actions i could be like all right you leaving your cards on the table yeah you're going hey buy this thing because it's for us but then you're selling it you're like okay i see he's a businessman he's trying to get his money i I do your thing. Yeah. Right? The people who go, I'm an activist, and we need to stand up,

and we need to do all these other things, the second they divert even the slightest bit from that character, you're like, oh, you phony. Yeah. You fucking phony. You lied to me. Whereas if you just leave your cards on the table, we get to decide who

you are hey we the number one ain't shit motherfuckers in the world yeah i'll tell you right now we ain't shit we sell out we sold out so we got fake money on the podcast we love money so much we got the fake one 100 i mean we would have the real one but it's expensive we need to be more capitalist. Yeah, it's so counterintuitive, isn't it? That the brutal honesty is actually more supportive. This kind of comes off of the Kardashian shit a little bit. And you were tapping into this when you were talking about that. They just want eyeballs.

They can monetize it. They can monetize it. But there are going to be people, a certain percentage of the people that they can monetize it but there are going to be people a certain percentage of the people that they are monetizing or whose eyeballs they have that are praying for the downfall right and that's what happens when you brag without context or skill right it like, we can root for the people who have things. Right? Like, I don't ever not root for Lil Duval. The guys on islands and the Bahamas and flying planes.

But I root for him. Right? I don't hope for his downfall. In the least, I want him to succeed. Right. But there are also people like, maybe it's Akashi 69s and these types of people who like, there are people who want him to get probably even killed for what he's saying. They want him to get beat up.

They want to whatever. Regardless, our eyeballs can't stay away from it. We're drawn to the fancy things. We're drawn to the interesting things. Yeah. What is the difference between a guy like Lil duval and a guy like takashi or like or the kardashians where you're drawn to them the girls watch them the girls buy what they promote yet still almost every girl is happy to see them fail i don't know i'll give you an example

kendall jenner brings out the vaude the tequila brand 818 right and she's totally fake in the way that that she promotes it i i put this tequila brand through all 60 different competitions for tequila and all this other stuff and then people do some research and she's like i've been developing this tequila for over three years people do a little research and like apparently it takes seven years to develop tequila right apparently her tequila is made at this factory that 60 other tequilas are made at so they just went found a distributor put their name on it and went out the reason people are upset at her is because she put herself in a position to fail yeah right uh sorry that's not the reason they're upset but she she lied yeah and people couldn't wait to take her down yeah why could they not wait do they is it because they don't

believe that her fame is justified no i think like you said it's because we hate the fraudulence if she would have just said hey guys they're paying me to put my face on a tequila. We would have respect that way more. Son, I really think it's a terrifying proposition, right? You've put all this money into a brand, or maybe they haven't put money, but you put all this time or whatever. It's a terrifying proposition to be honest. It's absolutely terrifying for a lot of people, right? It's terrifying for me. It's terrifying for most of us. We'll get to it later, but that's a great segue into why Patrice was amazing. Yep.

Honesty at all costs. It costs, to be honest. It costs, to be honest, but it provides. In the end. I think in the immediate. We'll talk about Patrice's honesty when we get to that.

We'll get there. But let's just, let's talk about this. So it's like, Cardi, for example. Yep. She was super honest. Takes so much criticism and pushback and makes her life more difficult.

But her rise to fame was like immediate, super fast. I think Jay-Z has learned to shut up. Cardi is a perfect example because people were so happy for her. As long as she was that honest Cardi. Yeah. Come out with video, bitch, I don't care. I chipped my nail. I'm not going to pay for a whole new fucking set of nails. I just paid $200 for this shit.

I can't do that shit. If you broke my nail, da-da-da. Like, I'll walk around with a broken ass nail. And then girls were like, oh my God, I love her. She walks around with broken nails. It's the coolest thing, whatever. And I think when Cardi started to experience pushback is when she started to do that go the fraud yeah when she started to get political she started

to get political even if she does truly care about these issues it seemed as if she was using her persona to push an agenda exactly instead of just honestly reacting to her environment yeah right it it wasn't like she was out there like man i don't really fuck with bernie's tax plan because i'm trying to save money which she probably is trying to save money yeah it seemed like she was just riding the wave of whatever that was yeah and that's what i think that you experience that pushback right it's like when we know that there's a disconnect there's some fraudulence there why is it that when people get to that level, they can't continue to ride the honesty

that got them there? Or is honesty too costly at a certain level? It is costly to those others at that level. Advertisers don't want a lot. Advertising is all not honesty. It's all dishonest, essentially. I remember somebody brought up the slogan back in the day,

choosy moms choose Jif. Jif butter sucks but that slogan literally says if you don't get jif peanut butter you're a bad mom that's the fucking slogan yeah all advertising is is we're trying to lie to you to get you to get this product and if we're associated with motherfuckers we're too honest that's dangerous. Look at all the pushback LeBron got. For? Like, when he didn't do anything with China, people are coming at him because, like, hey, you're Mr. Socially Conscious, let's be pro-black. And now, when these people are suffering over there, you're for. Like, you have nothing to say.

You don't want to affect your pocket. And we've looked at that shit as fraudulent. It's fake, like, you're pussy for doing it. Because he's just so big that any little thing he says or doesn't even say can hurt his pocket. Because he's so, this is interesting, he's so vocal. Yeah. But he is so vocal, so we expected that same level. Right. When it came to this other issue that was similar in nature to the

issues he's so vocal about. And it looked as if he chose his pockets over being vocal. So here's a question. Do we often conflate honesty and being critical of something that could hurt you for being critical of it. Say that again. So like the example that I can think of right now, and for whatever reason it worked out, but is like, I'm sure at least in the comedy community, the average person probably couldn't give a fuck. But when I was like, yo, Netflix is done at a time where everybody was trying to get a

Netflix special. I'm sure there are people in the comedy community that are like, yo, he's truthful. He don't give a fuck. He'll say whatever because what I was saying was costly to me. So anytime you say something that can cost you money, there's immediate truth that's attached to it. From the perceiver. Anything you do... And it clearly wasn't honest because the motherfucker

got a Netflix special. Gang, gang, gang, gang. It was honest in the moment. I was wrong, but it was what I honestly felt in the moment. But like, for example, when... The bell just froze over.

What the fuck? But Kanye, for example, when he was like, George Bush don't care about black people yeah that's one of the greatest moments great moment media history even when he went up and did the whole um what's the blonde chick's name taylor swift shit right it's like we trusted that so much because what he did could have cost him we thought like yo this doesn't benefit him in

any way yeah i trust this man he keeps doing things because they are the quote-unquote right things to do i don't know if it's right to do that to taylor swift or not but like or if you're even right to say about george bush or not it's a weird indictment i don't know if you can prove right but there's an immediate trust this point it's like the waiter telling you one of the menu items is trash yeah like you ever you ever ask the waiter like right you're like yo like uh is there anything what about the lasagna and the waiter does that shit like yo i'll be honest with you like the lasagna is trying to garbage like i won't fuck with lasagna after the waiter says that to you i'm like i'll trust this man with

my child i'll trust this man with my dog i'll leave my dog when i go to cancun i'm leaving my dog with the waiter that told me the lasagna is thread. You don't care about your dog that much. I can't wait to leave my dog this weekend. I'm going to take a picture

as I drive away in the three series. But you know what I mean? It's like, I feel like oftentimes we could conflate those two things. You know?

Like, there might be people that are just saying outlandish shit for attention purposes, not because they believe in it. Like, is what Tekashi69 is doing right now a perfect example of that? He's calling out all these people, and it's wildly entertaining.

He's calling out all these gangsters. Yeah, I don't respect it because it's not, to your point, it doesn't cost you anything. It earns you something. This is your ticket to fame or money or whatever this is an end for you i'm just going to draw all the eyeballs negative or positive attention to your point that's why i don't respect the kardashians positive or negative it all benefits them so whenever you do shit for attention or say something wild or do something wild it's like that's what you do but the initial idea with takashi saying this

initially there was truth there we thought right we're like oh shit this guy is willing to call out all these other gangsters some people start to believe like yo this guy might be a super thug like it's the real you calling out the crazy you calling out the chicago motherfuckers like yo this guy's crazy he's he's really about it he's really truthful and then the second time around as he as he's doing it it still garners attention but you see the fraudulence because you're like oh he's just using yeah he's using that did you see his most recent thing he did wild boy so he has the little interaction with me yeah and then he takes the clip puts it in the video inserts it in his music yeah it's great it's a brilliant move it's wildly corny i don't

fuck with him but that was a you didn't see what he did the the facetime live with the chicago dudes yeah that shit was crazy i know the chicago he's on facetime live with all the chicago goons like one after another he's just like yo don't talk tough because everybody kills your people and they don't end up getting killed oh shit and he said rest in piss oh my god he gonna get killed son he's he's really asking to be killed yeah i don't know why he's but is he taking advantage of this natural human reaction? Yes. And I guess that's what I'm trying to say.

And there's genius to that. 100% genius. He's hacked the system. Yeah. And we'll get, this is a cool segue into Patrice, but there is the ability to garner attention in that way. I just find that there is a distinction between like following somebody and like rooting for them and following someone and like hoping for their downfall and i'm curious

if that's simply a function of success like you like to ride it on the way up and the second it's up and things are doing well for that person that you're rooting for you're like man fuck them i'm not there and then or who are the people that because if you look at even little duval there are people actively getting his Instagrams canceled. Every time it comes back, they get, there are people that are fucking hating on him. What is that? What is the distinction? What is the turning point?

Where's the bell curve? I think certain people like different things on that point. For Tekashi, for me, maybe I'm just old, but from the beginning, I was like, oh, this kid just wants attention. He's fucking entertaining and is wild and is scary. And I'm watching, but I don't, it's fraud, oh, this kid just wants attention. He's fucking entertaining and he's wild and he's scary. And I'm watching, but I don't. It's fraudulent to me. He just wants attention.

Ultimate addiction to attention. Yes. That's what I thought it was. He's willing to risk his life. Like heroin motherfuckers are willing to risk their life to get that next shot. He's literally willing to risk his life. Now I'm like legit kind of starting to feel, and this is the oldest thing I'm ever saying, but I feel bad for the kid now.

Like, oh, you're that addicted to this? You need to risk your life? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's actually a different, I remember when I was in college, I feel bad for the kid now you're that addicted to this you need to risk your life yeah yeah but there's actually a different I remember when I was in college as a couple of friends would you rather be a good person but everybody thinks you're not or be a piece of shit and everybody thinks you're a good person for me I don't care everybody can think I'm a piece of shit if I know I'm a good person I'm good with that the majority of people I asked was like six or seven people they were oh, I'd rather be the piece of shit that everybody thinks is a good person. There is a different wiring in people, I think. I think there's two types.

Ones that are okay with the fraudulence and they like it. I want you to be, I like what you present. I'm good with it, generally speaking. And others are like, nah, generally speaking, I don't care if you're fake. Fuck you if you're fake. I want honesty, even if I don't like it. I think there are, people are wired differently. If you're fake, I want honesty, even if I don't like it. I think there are people are wired differently. I don't know what the percentages are, but generally speaking, I think those are just two different wirings that people have. Man, it's a hundred percent true. It's like dealing with dealing with that feeling.

Like I felt that after the special, like it was the first time that I put out content that I was getting all this like praise and accolades for that i wasn't solely responsible for the creation of the content yeah so i felt a little bit of like an imposter syndrome feeling i was like i didn't do this alone right but i'm being treated as if i did because i'm the one who said it right and i tried to be as vocal as possible on the podcast and that stuff that this was a group project but like when I'm doing stand-up and I think of a joke if it's in the moment with somebody or if I'm thinking of these bits like that's me so I feel it's earned the adulation I get from that yeah you know but like if somebody was like yo Schultz that was absolutely genius what you said like my gut reaction was like, well, you know, it was all of us. We put this thing together, you know, because my body vomits the idea of, like, an unearned accolade.

You feel like a phony. You feel like a fraud. You feel like an imposter. Imposter syndrome, like you said. And I was battling with it. And I was like, why do I? It's like, I'm so happy that I'm getting this stuff and everything. But there's also part of me that's

like it felt undeserved and i don't know i don't even know why i'm i don't know if this is totally tied to what we're talking about right now tied in with like that's your wiring my wiring is similar yeah i walk around thinking like oh i don't you know this imposter this i'm phony this that's maybe why almost certainly why i hate fraudulence and other people but i think there's just two types of people and we tend to click because we all prefer authenticity even if we don't like it and there's other people that are super phony with each other and you're like yo that's fucking gross how are y'all even friends they might just be wired like that like no i'm cool with the phony i want you to be funny like it's even on the podcast like you even, if somebody even says something funny in our everyday, we'll all reference that person.

Yes. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's how valuable funny is to us. Yeah. And authenticity. I don't want credit for something that's not mine. Right. So, if something funny is said, I have to say somebody's name that none of the half million people that are listening to this right now know.

Yeah, Fred said, and you're like, who the fuck is Fred? Yeah. Like, I could easily, I'm sure most radio hosts will just say the thing. Yep. Right? But if I say it and then people are like, yo, it's hilarious. Like, how often do some people, the other day someone tweeted like uh andrew said uh florida yes what is it uh hong kong is the is the florida of china or something like that and i was like no i think it was akash oh wheels for president role of president rolling

for president i was like no i had to correct twitter yeah and he publicly did it which i appreciated but the guy privately messaged me yeah but i. But I had to correct. And maybe that is a function of us knowing that in this business, the only thing that we have is our ideas. Yes. And when we get credit for someone else's ideas, we know what it would feel like if someone else got credit for ours. Right. So we feel like it's super important.

That's our currency. Yes. We can't pay bills with that shit. All we feel like it's super important that's our currency yes we can't pay bills with that shit all we have is ip all we have is our ip but we can't do nothing with it it's worse than bitcoin yeah it's doge yeah do you know what i mean it's doge it really is so we have to at least publicly like me posting that publicly is not for twitter yeah it's for you yeah because i feel like you might have seen this tweet and then you could be going, ah, fuck, man, that guy thought that Schultz said that thing that I said that was funny. I don't know if what I'm saying is relatable to anybody listening right now. And if we wasted your fucking time, my bad. But, like, it is a real thing that you think about.

Yeah. And it's good that you do that because I see some comments where, like, people podcasters of like oh they got that from reddit or they got that from twitter and shit like that so they thought i got something from reddit once so that happened so it's good if you get in the practice of always calling it out so then it's like you have a lot more credibility that you don't do that yeah i mean you just good that's how you just know motherfuckers don't listen to the podcast because like if you if you listen to it, like we probably take, we probably have taken so much, wasted so much of everybody's time saying. Citing sources. Citing.

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I hope a lot of you guys had the opportunity to see it. It was brilliant. All Things Comedy put it together. Unfortunately, it was on Comedy Central, and that's not All Things Comedy's fault. I actually reached out to them, and I reached out to Netflix, and I go, what the fuck were you guys thinking not putting this Patrice O'Neill documentary on Netflix? Yeah. Why the fuck wouldn't you guys do this?

Yeah. And what my guy over at Netflix, what Robbie told me was, that thing was sold four years ago. Robbie's the biggest fan of the world of Patrice. Yeah. And I watched this thing. And the reason why we're talking about this later in the podcast by the way is because i assume most of you haven't watched it because it's on comedy central yeah and even if you did watch the first area on comedy central you missed like 14 minutes because they

were trying to fit in in a fucking if you got youtube tv it's on demand and it's an hour and a half which i assume is the full yes yeah hour and a half commercials up top for like a minute and a half and then it's just straight go go watch it it is profound it is inspiring inspiring it is heartbreaking heartbreaking heartbreakingly sad and i got emotional by the end almost cried i cried you've heard us talk about patrice o'neill on the podcast a lot patrice o'neill is in my opinion the greatest comic to ever live he's also my last comedic inspiration. I've not been inspired comedically since him. That's not to say that there aren't great comics. There aren't people who have done things that are very funny.

But I have yet to see somebody do comedy that I thought was a better version of what Patrice did. Patrice was comedy perfected in the way that I view comedy. And he wasn't a perfect man in the terms of the way he treated people and that kind of stuff. He really fucking pissed a lot of people off. He was very self-sabotaging

with his career. And Keith Robinson, who's a comic who's the fucking kingmaker, we have to have another conversation another time about how many people you guys

all know just because of Keith Robinson. Just is maybe a lot, but Keith Robinson has played a major role in so many of the most successful comedians in history of our time. Can you tell people who Keith Robinson is? Keith Robinson is a brilliant comic.

He has a special also on Comedy Central, so maybe you haven't seen it. It's called Back of the Bus. Back back of the bus back of the bus funny is what he's referring to and if you ever rode the school bus to school you know that that's where the jokes went down in the back of the bus right and um and thank god you clarified that because i didn't realize the other connotation of back of the bus he's old not that old but uh it's a type of funny that he is referring to right this is what i think that we exemplify on the show like some people might call it the barbershop or the back of the bus but that's where you know you were giving out the dozens in the back of the bus everybody was getting you know their balls busted if you will and um but he's had so many people he's he brought

kevin hart to new york and he played he was instrumental in having patrice come down and he used to drive kev to from philly to new york like multiple times yeah he's a fucking god like that guy made everybody yeah so he's he's played this amazing role and he's kind of like maybe lost in the casual comedy fans you know understanding of comedy yeah but um anyway so patrice he was the last i think i was saying last comedic inspiration in terms of like what he did with comedy and how he did comedy and he was comedy to me you know i um i've i've tons of respect for the different types of comedy right but the type of comedy that i've always tried to live up to which is patrice o'neill style of comedy um but the type of comedy that i've always tried to live up to which is patrice o'neill style of comedy um initially i got into comedy through it was deaf comedy jam

and then chris rock was the guy who really started like getting my mind working on what comedy was um then obviously chapelle as well you know but chris rock i was more part of that tree and then i saw patrice and that's who i was like oh this is it this is the final version yeah there's nothing beyond this and i've yet to see anything beyond this and he did comedy from feeling what you feel is doesn't matter if it is right or wrong it is true you ever an argument with your girl and she's like saying shit that's absolutely ridiculous but she felt it you can't tell her she ain't feel it yeah right when you feel something and you're talking about something through feeling you can be wrong. Matter of fact, the funniest observations of your feelings

are things that are incredibly wrong. They're horrible, right? But they're funny and they're relatable. And in my opinion, if you want to be one of the great, great, greats, you can't be a straight joke slinger. Patrice used his clever he was very clever but oftentimes clever is a crutch yeah being able to say the clever thing and then you get like an applause break because there's this like a visceral not even visceral, it's almost like a human reaction to go,

ooh, you tricked me, bravo. While it's clever, it doesn't necessarily penetrate. Patrice O'Neill was a brilliantly clever guy, but his jokes were all off of feeling, and the punchlines were often not clever, but incredibly relatable or visceral feelings. Here's this one thing where he's talking about how he feels bad for side chicks. right he goes nobody cares about side chicks right

i mean think about side chick i go over a house 1 a.m fucker drink her last snapple then leave drink her last snapple we all are thinking the same thing white fridge completely empty you open it up and there's a snapple on the top graded metal graded thing right how the fuck did we all have the same visual right he he came from such a real place with comedy that sometimes he's not even he's not even saying the cleverest punch line to get you to clap you're clapping because you just got this image right that is painted so clear that we're all thinking in the same time right right there's another joke i remember we were that we're all thinking in the same time right right there's another joke i remember we were watching a special live elephant in the room where he was just

talking about like taking the like girls always complain about what's in the food or something like ladies men are just cooler we're just cool yeah you ever get the wrong order with your girl she gets the wrong order they do get her order wrong and she freaks out they put onions on it she's freaking out and he's the term the wretched onions and she he just does this whole meltdown of a girl and he goes man just you see that hey hey you see that huh that is he takes the onion and he puts it on the ground right he goes just right there on the ground he's just leaving it on the ground all right like but like this visual there's nothing clever about it per se, but it is comedy. And I'm not trying to knock clever, but it is a brilliant tool that he also used.

He had tons of little clever switches and stuff in his comedy, but his comedy always came from feeling. There's a lot of guys who do comedy and they're just like, Uber, what's the funniest joke about Uber? I don't care if I don't feel that way about Uber. What is the funniest misdirect about it yeah and it's my least favorite form of comedy yeah because it's devoid of in my opinion is devoid of the visceral reaction that comedy creates yeah instead of gamifying it and like

tricking you into laughing at it i'm going to penetrate you in a way yeah that is going to stay inside i mean this is very sexual everything all right now yeah but uh but i'm gonna i'm the joke is gonna penetrate you in a way that's just gonna stick with you yeah and you feel it i remember you saying early on somebody was like crushing on stage but it was like whatever it's cute comedy or whatever yeah and then you were like i honestly believe the laughs are different when you're doing like what we do it's different and you can feel it when you really hit on some shit that's deep down a feeling that people have you feel the difference in the last they react to different even after the show the reaction is like you just spoke to someone's soul yeah and um it's just yeah i had an experience so uh last week i mentioned like i don't think i've seen

much of patrice i just saw like clips on youtube prior to that and i knew that the doc was coming out so i was like you know what let me make sure to either watch or listen to some of the stand-up so i downloaded uh mr p yeah and fucking test oh my god i've never laughed that hard on a flight you know my laugh yeah? You can hear me over the fucking loud ass plane. I was dying. That shit was hilarious. I listened to that the day it came out. Tolu? Or whatever.

The African guy in all his. Oh my god. I look like the most wobble person. Back when I lived in Brooklyn listening to that CD just walking down the street fucking cackling laughing bent over like I look like such a bitch. You can't help it. It's fucking hilarious. Where did you imagine him doing that

show? In your head. Where is he performing it? In your head. In my head, it's really small. It's a very small room. I know the exact room that it's not, but in my head I have a different room. Same. DC Improv, I assume? Is it DC Improv? Where do you imagine?

It's DC. It says DC. Yeah. But I imagine like, Caroline's. Oh, I see. I was going to say an improv. That's my home club.

Maybe you imagine your home club or the club like when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would go to the fucking Dallas Improv. Yeah. I imagine like the small room in the cellar. Like, Yeah, yeah.

Because you can just one, hear everyone and it's like, the laughs are fucking that's what patrice did there's nothing like patrice live there's something we saw we saw them together right we saw them together comics comedy club and it was like revolutionary for me because it was the first person i felt like was i don't know i felt like was doing comedy in the way that like i i related to the world and i tried to talk about the world. And I just love the fact that he was so fine being wrong,

but he was okay with it being wrong. He knew he was being wrong, but it was how he felt. Each joke is how I feel, right? He was talking about like, oh God, what was he saying? Like about diabetes and some shit about that. And then he was walking down the aisle. He's just walking down the aisle in a grocery store and he saw these uh double stuffed uh vanilla oreos yeah i'm looking at these cookies like who needs a foot but like bro there's not it's not

necessarily clever it's not like misdirecting it is a little bit of a misdirection right but it's not but it's it's not tada it is a fucking visceral feeling he he is not afraid of what he feels so many people doing comedy they're doing comedy based on what they think the audience will feel are okay is okay yeah and i first of all i never was down with that and i admired how much he was willing to go up there and say how he fucking felt. And regardless of the reaction, a lot of times it didn't do well for him. Motherfucker would bomb, piss people off, people walk out the show. But it was what he felt. And if you're saying what you feel and you bomb, I promise you it's so much better.

When you fucking lie up there, and there's been jokes that I fucking, I was up there and I lied. I was like, oh, this will probably be the funny joke or this will get a reaction. And when those jokes bomb, dude, you feel like a fucking failure. I tap dance for you and you guys didn't like it? Yeah. Ugh. Yeah, those are the brutal ones. Bombs are never fun.

Those are the worst bombs. I can handle a bomb if I know I'm being honest It's actually what he talked about When he tried to tap dance for the industry And then didn't get where he wanted to go It's just on a much larger scale for him But in a show you're like Yo I sold out and you still don't like me

Fuck you, fuck me, I hate myself more than I hate you Fuck everyone I mean when you bomb But like you're tapped into your feelings yeah you can understand their reaction yeah yeah i know what i'm saying is fucked up yeah i know that you guys are reacting this way because it's hard to say this publicly yeah i gotta get better at getting you guys comfortable enough to say it where you guys don't react like this but this is how i feel and you fucking know it and you feel this way too yeah and i will still sometimes bail out of that earlier

than i want to i'm actually proud of myself if i do a patrician and the whole thing is like that and if you can win them at the end it's the greatest it's the fucking greatest one is like i know you're not into it i'm staying here and i'm gonna get you on board and they appreciate that an audience appreciates it yeah it's the same thing about what we were saying before about um fraudulence yeah honesty if they know you believe what you're saying they get on board and once they start and then once they start understanding like oh this is what he feels yeah that's why i hate when people throw out the devil's advocate i don't hate it i'm fine with it criticize whoever you want but

like what bothers me a little bit about the devil's advocate shit is like when people go oh you're just devil's advocate it's like nah you're too pussy to admit how you feel don't don't make a caveat for my feelings i feel this way you're too pussy to admit that you feel this way so you're trying to call me a devil's advocate right because it removes the cowardice from you oh you're just saying that because you want to have the opposite of feeling no i feel this way i feel that kanye takes dicks away from women yeah that's how i feel oh you're just trying to have a different take but no no i feel that way you're afraid of the way you feel without context that is a wild that is true some people just gonna see this clip like what the fuck is he talking about and you know what i don't care i feel this way fuck is he talking about? And you know what? I don't care.

I feel this way. Good on you, bro. But do you know what I mean? Yes. Like, Devil's Advocate is such an easy way to discredit or disregard someone's opinion from the average person that's afraid of their own feelings. But I think that the reason why that might happen to you, because there are some people that are just

playing devil's advocate for oh there's times when we just play devil's advocate for sure it's hard to distinguish just the shock jock person from there's time hey we do both hey you know what but and that's what i'm saying so you're gonna get it sometimes you know what here's the thing and this is what is so hard to understand but it's only understood really in the context of comedy and it's more so in the context of podcasts because so many of us are doing podcasts now. But when you're on stage, on stage should be a feeling environment. We're not on stage for the truth, right? Or the lie.

We're on stage for the feeling. The feeling is true. There's nothing more annoying than an audience member fact-checking you. It's like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, this is outside of facts. This is facts, no feelings. That's where the ethos of this. Yeah.

So, like, when I'm saying this shit about Belichick being a trash coach, he might objectively be a good coach. Yeah. But my feeling, I have this feeling like he's whack. Yeah. He's whack. And I'm telling you that's how i feel and i'm gonna justify it whatever goofy ass ways i'm gonna justify it but i do have that feeling you know what i mean yeah but you're right 100 sometimes we just make an absurd argument of

course yeah but generally there's no rules to this shit feelings no facts we are we are a feeling podcast we are feeling comics we are emotional people that's what we ride on but uh jim norton said the most brilliant thing, brilliant description of Patrice. He goes, Patrice lived his life like a movie was being made about him and he was going to have to watch it with all of his closest friends.

And they would call out all of his... They would call out all his bullshit. So in every interaction he was with somebody, he would call them out on being phony because if he didn't, when he watched this movie of his life with his boys later, he was going to let would call them out on being phony because if he didn't when he watched this movie of his life with his boys later oh you're gonna let him talk to you like that you're gonna yeah you see what i'm saying like robinson also had a profound thing where he was like great some of that is feet like they all talked about how like what an asshole he

was on set or whatever and he goes a lot of that is fear too you are afraid of not being good enough when you get the shot so you self-sabotage. And that's what's also really interesting about Patrice is I've never seen a more confident comic on stage in my life. And to still have that fear, it's just an interesting juxtaposition. Bro, you know what happened to me after watching this doc? It humanized him, which was a letdown. I don't want to see Superman be human. He's your Superman.

He was Superman. He was Iron Man. You know what I mean? He was a superhero to me. And watching this made me realize he was a man. Yeah. So a flawed man. A scared man as well. a flawed man a scared man as well and that made his death 10 times more fucking tragic yeah when superman dies it was okay because he wasn't a human being you know what i mean like

he didn't to me i didn't build up relationship with him i was too in awe of him to build up relationship i saw him i met him a few times i was too in awe to try to build a relationship with him yeah that's how high i rank him and when i saw that i wasn't sad when he died yeah because he wasn't even a human being he was beyond that you know so when i watched it all of a sudden he became a human being. And afterwards, I was fucking heartbroken, bro. You know what else they touch on toward the end? And it's something, when we talk about Chappelle and Patrice, and I put Chappelle above, I forgot. So Chappelle, I love for a lot of his shit after,

like for equanimity and for bird revelation. And the other one he did with the, he saves but he rapes. Chappelle was still like tapping into that patrice was still getting better elephant in the room was one maybe the best hour special i've ever seen yeah then he followed up with an album that i think is better than that so patrice was figuring out he had seen okay this is how i do this comedy where i'm telling the truth but it's palatable for you and that's where i'm like oh fuck that's where I'm like, oh, fuck. That's where it felt really tragic to me

is this guy was still getting better at 43 or whatever it was. He had really, really figured it out now. He was about to hit another level, and I forget that 10 years later. But then when I watch this, I'm like, yo, fuck. This guy was about to be, and you think about what we've pushed back against, which is the PC culture and shit.

If we had him, I don't know if our fight is nearly as hard. I mean, it's just like he's taking care of a lot of it. He's just getting bigger and bigger. And it's like, what are we worried about? He would have got canceled. He wouldn't have given a fuck, though. But I'm just saying, he would have been toxic. The most highest level of toxic, he would have been that.

Because he keeps it just too real. Yeah. And people aren't ready for that. He died so we could be great. Come on. Thank you, Patrice. Thank you. My bank account appreciates you, Patrice.

Yeah. Whatever. So I would, guys, we'll try to put a link or some way where you could watch it. Please watch it

if you care about comedy and you're just curious about this guy who, unfortunately, will probably be forgotten in comedy history. And when Bill Burr – I'll say this. Yeah. He will be forgotten in comedy history, but he will 100% live on through the people he influenced like uh we were just talking a bunch of comics after a party we were talking about like who people are influenced by and you could see them in their comedy you know what i mean and um most people don't know where i come from like we could think of other kind of famous comics like oh he's kind of like a tell or he's kind of

like louis or he's kind of like this or he's kind of like eddie murphy was like prior etc and um we were they came to me like yeah i don't know who you i don't know who you are and it was a compliment at first because i'm like oh that's kind of cool like i'm unique and i'm like no no it's patrice like this is that is the lane that is the the funnel that i come from so my success and all the other people patrice influence is a legacy do you know what i mean yeah so maybe he gets forgotten in the casual fan but like as long as i'm alive i will give all the fucking credit to the most influential person i've ever you know seen in comedy and the greatest comic that i've ever seen hands down man

i wish i remember there was one other line from robert kelly i think i fucking wish i remembered i remember the keith robinson line stuck out to me what was the body i can't remember if i remember i'll come back to it oh is it about a him feeling is it uh insecurity of patrice's or maybe it was toward the end he said something i'm like goddamn damn i wish i fucking remember what it was the having the baby shit was rough i mean that was rough kept keeping the pregnancy test in a drawer and his girl saw the pregnancy test because he asked his he didn't ask his girl but he was like i don't feel uncomfortable bringing a kid into this world because i don't think i'm gonna be here for a long time i don't want to leave you with a kid but it is your choice but it is your choice and you do whatever

you want to do and they ended up not you know terminating the pregnancy and like months later i guess she opened up one of these drawers and found the pregnancy test she's like oh what's this about he goes put that uh put that back in there and don't close the drawer and he never spoke and he wouldn't even look he's watching tv didn't even look at it look at it all it stayed on the tv put that back in the drawer and that that's the one time you've seen Patrice not own his emotions and his feelings. That's how much it fucked with him. Bro, 100% great observation. He wasn't truthful about what that was to him.

Everything else. He'll talk to his mom about jerking off and eating pussy or whatever it was. Yeah, yeah. But like that, I can't deal with that. There's a scene with his stepdaughter. Oh, yeah. His girl had a daughter already. And when she speaks about him, it's profound.

She's like, he's the reason for my confidence. She's like, I have a big head. I love my big head because Patrice made me love my big head. And he always told me, nobody, you need to love you. He's going to control how you feel. You're going to love yourself. Like, like seeing that's what i'm talking about like the effect that you have on human beings if you live your life in a way that is impactful you he continues to exist maybe that's corny to say i don't give a fuck but that motherfucker continues to exist in her and us

and all these people and i see i see him in bill burr yeah you know because pierce but bill always says this guy's this guy's better than when you when you talk about like comics that are based on feeling yeah bill burr is all feeling yeah like he's clever but literally i started punching the muffins wham wham wham like that is visceral feeling. Yes. Right? And he is, these Boston guys, man, best comics in the world come from Boston. But, yeah, he is feeling. Bobby Kelly is feeling.

Yeah. You know, like, telling you, man, there's something there. Well, I was going to say, first of all, he says shit like, we thought we would learn something

and then Patrice had already figured it out fucking years ago. Like, he was always so far ahead of us. But you'll see it in the moments where bill burr is like up there pontificating doesn't give a fuck how the audience feels i'm sure he would have gotten there on his own but i think a part of that is also that's patrice and bill burr always looked at patrice like that's the fucking best guy that's what i want to be yeah who gives a fuck they're not

laughing i live in my honesty i live in my emotion emotion. That's what it is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Another thing I was fascinated by is how can he be so honest with his girl and talk about her like that on stage? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she love him the way he does. Like, that is. She came into the game, bro. She knew what it was. Oh.

He kept it with her. He kept it honest with her the whole time. That's what it is. It's funny to see how mythology builds was great like mythology builds around figures uh there was one story that was a little bit of a letdown for me the story about how patrice first did stand yeah yeah yeah had changed through time and this is how you get cyclopses or cyclops eye or whatever the fuck that is like a cyclops started out as a big guy who was just missing one of his eyes and then someone's you know they're fucking these huge dudes and then this guy had one eye and then three or four people

you tell that story to later it's they had one eye in the center of their head and they were 18 feet tall etc and like the story that was always going around about the first time patrice did stand-up was that he was heckling a comic on stage and the comic said well why don't you come up here and do stand-up and then he did and he just started murdering yeah and then he that was stand-up after that and in the movie or the doc it's he started heckling the comic and then after the show went up to him was like i was just helping you out man i was and then he was like yeah you should try it out and then he tried it out later but he didn't go up on stage that night right and goldman talked about though he had this like uh patrice had this joke that was like i don't like being the fat spokesperson or whatever.

But it was like a jokey joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Goleman said, I came back a few months later, and he wasn't doing it. And I was so happy that Patrice moved on. Because I was like, oh, that's just not a Patrice thing. Yeah. I mean, he's probably early in the game. But then Goleman was like, he was done with that so quickly.

That's not what he was about. But it was such a great joke. It was a great joke. But he just had. Like, fat people, like, go, like, fat... Like fat people acknowledge him on the street? Yeah. Like this. They just sound like, what's up, brother?

What do you want me to do? But what's beautiful about that is it's not... Again, there's nothing clever there. There's no trick. You know what I mean? It's like a hack on our DNA to get illicit or reaction. It's literally just... That's a hilarious feeling that

i can't relate to that but i can see a fat guy look at another fat guy like we eating later i don't know he's just fucking this is the best all right guys uh we're gonna take a break and save your asses some money that's all we do you listen to this podcast you make money we the goats simple as that we really are how are we gonna save some money right now akash student loan refinancing oh we should we should just give them some money back i think it's so so it's not only are we gonna save them money on the refi we're also just gonna give them some some cash oh we finna is is that what they give us a cash bonus hundred dollars that seems like an earnest thing to do you know who are we aoc oh shit we might be hey we out here handing out ducats. Ducats.

We doing it. It might be Andrew Yang, bro. Hey, oh, Yang Gang. Yang Gang. Shout out to the minorities in politics. Just giving people money. That's the only way to get elected. All right. So, yeah, white people run on.

I'm going to let you white people keep your money. So, but for real, Earnest is this amazing company That's basically going to try to get you to save as much money as you possibly can on your student loans. You're going to refinance your student loans. They're going to give you money so you can save money. If there's any way to save money on your student loans, they're going to figure it out. Refinance at a lower rate, combine all your payments into one. They're going to figure out how to save. That's literally what their company does. They look at your student loans and they go,

how can you pay less? That it this is a no-brainer and if you got questions you get an actual human being instead of the fucking bot that's that's the other thing when you're dealing with like big money amounts and you have to just trust the question there on the website fuck that i need to speak to a human being it's like when you uh it's like when you're parking and you have to ask a stranger if it's okay to park yeah like you see all the instructions but you need to put it on him yes because if you do get a when you're parking and you have to ask a stranger if it's okay to park here. Yeah, yeah. Like you see all the instructions, but you need to put it on him. Yes. Because if you do get a ticket, you're going to walk up to that motherfucker and be like,

oh, how are we splitting this? This is the parking motherfucker. Ernest.com got parking motherfucker. That's what I'm talking about. So Ernest is going to save you all your money. Listen, you all got student loans. Be honest. You do.

You have them. Just go save some money and get some cash back. All right? You're going to get a $100 cash bonus when you visit Ern earnest.com slash flagrant to refinance your student loans. Okay. Now this is not available in all States and terms and conditions do apply, but that is earnest. E-A-R-N-E-S-T.com slash flagrant to refinance your student loans. Go there right now. Now let's get back to the show. Oh, by the way, getting back to the show, um, way getting back to the show um we got some dates coming up talking about shows we got some real dates you can go to theandrewschultz.com to check

out all mine um it was absolutely crazy on miami showing mad love thank you guys so much i feel like a fucking rock star bro it was crazy i mean the show the first one sold out in three minutes the next one sold out in 60 seconds i didn't even know that was physically possible insane but we'll see you at the miami improv and uh it was like a jordan drop son i felt like sneakers yeah sneakers in that moment but miami thank you all for showing love man we really appreciate it and uh we hope you're doing it well you know y'all proud out here and i'm excited to get back on stage after not being on stage for a year so this is going to be an interesting couple shows but uh i think we're going to add a couple more shows i'll post about it on instagram and i'll tell you when the ticket links are gonna go up so you guys can be ready

to go and have everything locked and loaded but again miami thank you all for all showing me love you always show me love and uh we'll see you soon uh also dandruffshulls.com um we're gonna do a you know a tour announce video but i i want you to uh go check out what we got there on the dandruffshows.com right now that's what i'll say we're gonna do a big tour announced video i would go to dandruffshows.com right now because this asshole army and his family we're talking to check out the dates that are up there right now and maybe you get a little uh head start on everybody that's trying to get some tickets okay uh some cities already sold out salt lake sold out columbus sold out nashville sold out. Columbus sold out. Nashville sold out.

Atlanta, Raleigh, West Palm Beach, Phoenix, and Tampa may or may not be available on the website on the Comedy Club's website before we do this announce video. That's all I'll say.

That's all I'll say. Love you guys. We might add some more shows in these other states and who knows if the requirements start to loosen up. Maybe they start to allow more people in. We add a couple more chairs, but go there, check it out. Go to akashsingh.com. I got two more shows coming up that I tell you about in April, but for March, let's talk about Philly, March 4th through 6th at Helium and St. Louis, Helium, March 18th through 20th i believe whatever that thursday through saturday is so go there akash singh.com gang gang gang all right

let's get back to the show all right guys we're back let's um let's have another conversation about a comedian that um uh was was out the game for a little minute had a little controversy you know uh the other chrissy d i think that's we're gonna chris delia uh release an apology video what did you guys think of it i at the beginning i was like oh this is good he's handling it well he's saying a lot of good things he seems honest but then by the end i was like oh you didn't address the main thing we want explained. The main thing I want explained is what's up with these young girls that are accusing you. Right. And you just addressed that with two lines in an eight-minute apology video.

The same line twice. Everything I did was consensual and legal. That's it. Right. And I guess what you're saying is it's not technically illegal to talk to underage girls. That's not an illegal thing. But it is the thing that bothered you yeah and i don't apparently there's look there's a lot of smoke i saw certain texts that were like maybe illegal maybe legal it was like real borderline and then there's just so much smoke that's what we want addressed you cheat on your wife okay you have a sex addiction i get

it you're a good looking famous hilarious dude sure pound all the pussy in the world i don't give a fuck i want to know what's up with these young girls that's where i need an explanation and again i've said this probably before i don't want to just sit here and like shit on chris or bury chris he was i like the guy he was nice to me when i was a new comic supportive in a way and now maybe it's because he wanted to fuck me i don't know but but in a game where everybody treats you like shit this is a guy that was nice to me and so i don't want to sit here and act like i'm above him and fuck him yeah i want him to be innocent but i need him to explain it yeah you know what i mean

you can't just gloss over that and say with one line oh it's legal nah bruh what was the specific thing that you needed an explanation for i mean there's screenshots of him like texting girls oh they're 17 and then like nine months later he'll text them back or 10 months or whatever it is right that's not a full year if you wait a full year and then you i need to know did you know these girls were uh underage and if you knew did you stop if you knowingly message an underage girl that's weird to me or if you find out she's underage and then you keep messaging right that's that's fucked if you mess it we all

dm when we were single that's what you do yeah you're chris delia you're dming you're gonna hit a couple girls that are probably oh i'm young and then you need to be the fuck out that's how that works yeah i don't i'm not canceling him because he cheated on his wife and he had a sex addiction yeah look at the fuck? That's for you and her. I would cancel you if I found out you were knowingly messaging underage girls. And little things even within the messages back in the day, I remember being like, that's kind of weird. It was pointed out to me, honestly, but like the way he would message them, it's like he

knows he's talking to underage girls. Saying shit like teehee. I need teehee explained. Your issue. I need a teehee explanation. If that's how you message a 30-year-old, okay, you're kind of weird, but that's it. Yeah. But it seems like you know.

You ain't saying teehee to no grown-ass bitch. Grown-ass bitch. I'm going to say teehee to a 30-year-old bitch. So you felt like the apology was for the wrong thing. I feel like he. So you wanted. Yes. You didn't want an apology because you don't need someone to apologize to you for crushing

puss. No, I love that. I'm faithful. You go ahead and do all the cheating that I would never do. I live vicariously through you. Right. You wanted an explanation, not an apology. Yes.

For the shit that you thought was super sus. Yes. The accusations that you thought were super sus. Yes. You're aware that he didn't do anything illegal. You're aware that he didn't do anything that you're aware that he didn't do anything that wasn't consensual but there was behavior that might not have been illegal but looked highly frowned upon and looked like if things went a certain way it could lead to illegal behavior

and i'm not positive yeah i mean if you're if a girl tells you she's 17 and you're messing nine months later she's likely turned 18 which is still kind of weird to me, to be honest. But I can't throw you in jail for that. But if it's nine months, it's like, you couldn't wait the full fucking year. You don't have another date in Utah coming up? A year you can't come back? She's 18, potentially 19. She's going to be married by then, bro.

She's from Utah, dog. She has three sister wives, bro. If that was his explanation, okay. I just need the explanation. These bitches in Utah get married young. You gotta get it where you fit in. I'm just John Smith out here, bro. I went in Rome.

Give me an explanation. That's what I need from you. Right. Did you knowingly message underage girls? Because it kind of seems like you did. And that's what I need explained. I'm not the fucking pound of flesh guy. I don't want to sit here and feast on your apology.

As apologies go, he did a good job. But that's not the explanation. I'm looking for an explanation. I forgive him for cheating on his fiance, bro. You don't? I do. Oh, okay. Yeah. At first, I didn't. Okay. And then when he apologized to me, I was like, I forgive you. I'm going to need everybody

to apologize to me for cheating on their girl, bro. I love saying. I need you to apologize to me for cheating on their girl, bro. That's what I'm saying. I need you to apologize because you broke my trust. You know what I'm saying? Here I am just waiting this whole time feeling cheated on without any apology. And now that I got the apology, I can move on. I feel like I can mend your relationship or something i don't know it is a weird suggestion right what do you mean like to apologize for that yeah i

don't that's apology for his wife i don't i would understand apologizing if you were like a christian comic or some shit and you like led people to think that you were out here you know uh faithful leading a certain life but like i think we knew yeah you ain't carl lentz bro yes carl lentz gotta apologize to me yeah because you were preaching some shit to me you didn't live up to it fraudulent to bring back the earlier discussion it was fraudulent chris delia you knew was fucking to be honest i'm more impressed he could fuck all these girls and still be that funny real talk i think about that's fucking impressive that's him but i need something else explained and you didn't that's how i feel al am i crazy tell me if i went too hard so i didn't think i went that hard no i actually agree

with you i me or akash about the apology but also what, what about me? Nah, not at all. You don't think that you didn't feel like that you deserved an apology for him cheating on his fiance? I think you deserved it a lot sooner, son. You deserved it a lot sooner, so you would feel better. I did deserve it. You waited too long to feel good. Son, I almost called him one of these days. I was like, you don't apologize to me for cheating on your fiance or not. You know what I'm saying?

Like, this is ridiculous, bro. Just left you waiting waiting he left me out here just betrayed embarrassed you were embarrassed he supported this man i was so embarrassed i had to move to miami i had to move to miami and distract myself bro until i got my fucking apology bro all right go keep going yeah no so the fact that he just tried to change the narrative that the big issue is his sex addiction when that wasn't the big thing that he went into hiding for. The big thing was all the smoke about these young kids. Is anybody like that needs to be addressed first and foremost. And this should have came a lot sooner. Like you just wait, wait until the smoke dies down,

and then hoping that you're just going to pop up, give an apology, and now you're all good again. Like, no, you should have addressed this shit immediately. Like, think if you were that dude's daughter who was, like, 17 who texts him, like, hey, you're too old for me, and then he waits and comes back later. Like, if I'm that girl's father, I want to kill this dude.

But what if now he's learning how to wait? Yeah, I mean, that's impressive how to wait like yeah i mean that's impressive but that's the lesson like it doesn't have to happen right now you could be no one's perfect i'm not saying we should crucify dude i'm just saying we got to keep this the same energy that we give to anybody who with this type of fuckship behavior and i'm just not for that that's just me personally and specifically what is the behavior that... The predatory behavior. Like, you're a grown man. Like, why are you trying to chase after, like, barely legal girls?

If he's talking about how many girls he's sleeping with at all times, and there's gorgeous girls he can choose all he wants, he's spending a lot of time and energy on girls of a certain age. So, a lot of smoke. So, I know it's cloudy of like figuring out what what situation he should have been on that statement forensically proving each accusation at least so he has six accusations nail down every one of those accusations we're still going to have a feeling like there's six there's probably uh more that we don't know about you got what got away with somehow but he didn't he didn't do. And so the fact that they weren't addressed,

it's like it leaves something still, I don't really feel right. There's something in there. He's going to be fine. His fans are going to hate that I said this. I don't want the guy to be fucking crucified. Now, if he knows these girls are underage and he's messaging underage girls,

if those messages come out, he should be punished. As is, I just need an explanation. Right now, that's what I'm looking for. You hurt by the cheating no i just the more i think about it i i accept his apology for the cheating yeah okay what made you do that he felt honest it was the it's the christianity in me i had to forgive him for cheating yeah and i had to forgive him for having sex with uh hundreds of beautiful women because that is that's unforgivable but no but for real if you're literally gonna fuck the most beautiful women in america in

literally every single state for a living i'm gonna need an apology for that yeah i am going to need an apology and the fact that he was man enough to come and do that yeah i i appreciate that yeah i understand you guys are focusing on another part of this and that's why we have this you know collaborative effort here on the podcast you know what i mean but um i i your point resonates with me maybe he could have offered a little bit more explanation about the text messages with the underage girls right yeah even though it looks like nothing happened with them which which is important, but explanation, at least, like, why were you continuing the convo kind of knowing? Yeah.

There's proof that he continued the convo? Yeah. Yeah. I think nine or ten months later. Again, wait the year, bro. If you wait the year and you're like, God, wait a year. There's harassment, blackmailing, naked photos, things like that. There's more.

We're not covering everything, so let's- Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But the important thing is that he cheated on his wife and he feels bad about it i i just think it's so admirable no you're not that's a good point you know i you sometimes no no like some people are in touch with like their audience and like their people and like to come out and be like i'm sorry for absolutely demolishing for years yeah and then to be like i apologize yeah forgiven wow you're a bigger man than most

man you're you're a good person i am all right guys that's been another episode of flagrant 2 uh we will see you this friday at patreon patreon.com flagrant 2 come join the asshole army over there we will see you that raw unfiltered flagrancy i think there's a possibility we might get our boy marky mark back oh shit i think by friday what do you think though yeah i think we got i think we got it back by friday so that would be quite exciting that would be quite exciting i'll be quite excited okay guys we'll see you over there patreon.com flagrant sue if not we see you next tuesday peace