Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Matt McCusker on Bad Bunny Super Bowl, Life as a Drug Dealer, + Schulz is Back

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

YERRR – Andrew’s back, and things get weird fast. From Bad Bunny hot takes to getting robbed, getting caught, and gangs, this episode goes off the rails. We got: – Native flutes & nocturnal emishes – Weddings, parenting guilt & TikTok scams – Sydney Sweeney tributes, and Matt on guitar All that and more on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 Intro 1:02 Andrew is back! Matt picked Oct 7th 2:25 Bad Bunny's Super Bowl + Hot Aunts 7:15 Matt's 94y radio play 8:33 Andrew's new Bad Bunny take 10:13 Radio play + Stimfapping 11:04 Stopping meat beating + Drogas selling 14:59 Getting robbed & Guns 17:56 Drogas House, Gangs & Guilt 23:58 Making money + PI for 2 days 27:45 Wanting to be a therapist 29:59 Robberies + Kidnapping 43:40 Money on weddings + No risk aversion 46:31 Kids, Anger issues & Caught than taught 50:03 Missing friends + Stress 56:08 Guilt with your kids + Parenting strategy 59:31 Just say sorry, Church + Submission 1:10:55 Native flutes, S3x & Gooning 1:18:13 Nocturnal emish & Getting caught 1:22:24 Tributes, Sydney Sweeney + Dead Internet theory 1:31:47 Social media strips humanity + Mamdani 1:38:31 N. Korean ish balloons + Pure reason 1:41:28 Getting got on TikTok, Bonsai + Landscaping 1:45:31 Forgetting we have a dog 1:47:09 War of the Worlds + Ben Carson 1:53:53 Matt on guitar Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I try to make the argument that selling drugs is addictive in itself. It did for like 15 years. I quit embarrassingly not that long ago. Did you forget Robb? Yeah, for sure. I got robbed at Club Point one time, West Billy trying to buy Perkinset. That was embarrassing. A guy just bust out of Billy Club.

Like, I'll smack your head. Club Point. Dude, I was the last guy to get robbed to clubboy. You're gonna talk? Are you working off? Oh, yeah. By your wife? Yeah, for sure.

We were like dating. I was in her apartment. I was in her bed. Hold on. I want to get, like, a guy in an office heart. Hey, yo, what the fuck? Actually, it's like a late kidnapping. I was like, you're not going anywhere until I get my fucking money.

I take him to the T-Mobile store, and we walk in there, and I'm like, yeah, he needs a new cell phone. He's just sitting there just, like, looking at his feet. And then at one point, he goes, help. And I was like, shut the fuck up. Bad Bunny's the biggest music star in the fucking world. I'm a fan. Is he a song about, like, his being, like, horny for his aunt or something? You literally have a bit in your special about wanting to fuck your aunts.

No, that's the one. What's up everybody? Welcome to Flakert. Hello. Hello, hello. It is great to be back. I'm very excited for this first episode back that we have a hilarious comedian, successful podcaster, a shaman of sorts, a man of many talents, of radio play in the near future coming out. Yeah, it's coming. I would love to talk about that. And a Netflix comedy special, a humble offering coming out on a day. that you specifically...

I did not ask me for it. They were saying, we're going to do it in January, and I said, all right, I'll take January. That's a while's out. Hey, we might do it in October. I said, that'd be great.

What's the date? Like, October 7th. And I said, hey, we'll do what you have to do. That's what they said. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's funny. It's all, like, bringing up to people. I'm like, they gave me October 7th.

And they're like, show what? And I'm like, remember that thing? And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just so long ago, dude. Yeah. It's not really, that was like last year, I know. Yeah, that is a while. On the year anniversary.

You know, it's funny, I saw you promote it, and I did not forget the date. So I wonder if this actually is, like, working out in your favor. It's like October 7 is going to work twice. It would be a horrible thing to come up on. Yeah, it'd be a horrible thing to bend to my favor. Yeah, actually worked out pretty well for me, so. But people need to cheer, the laugh, you know. They do need a laugh.

They'll be happy. They need a good laugh. Yeah. True. That's what we need right now. We need a good laugh. Also, I just want to say... In some water.

You're welcome to the Puerto Ricans. Okay? The Puerto Ricans have been... I also think you shaved your face just to look more Puerto Rican. I did. I mean, this is the actual Bat Bunny. I never thought you were Puerto Rican until yesterday when I saw this goatee. Let's go, my people.

Yeah. Thank you. You got the shirt. I did. But can you explain to this? So basically, I told you this earlier, but, like, a few months ago, I had this take where it's, like, there's no way that Bad Bunny's the biggest movie... Music star in the fucking world. Like, there's no way that he can do the Super Bowl.

And it's because he's... And Robbie said this really well. He's actually, like, too universal, and, like, football is an American thing. Right? And I said he was incredibly wrong. Do you guys knew he was doing this two months ago? No, I had no clue. That's why I said it.

I was like, why would they book a guy? He's just always wrong. Yeah. I called it. I said that he's definitely perfect for the Super Bowl. He's definitely big enough to be the own Super Bowl. I don't know if you said that. I did.

I said all that. I never said he wasn't big enough. He didn't say shit, didn't? No, no, he didn't say that. And if somebody made this video about it, I'll only guess Puerto Rican when Bad Bunny is brought up this time. He's ever put him, sometimes J-Lo, you know. I like, listen, I don't know a single song of Bad Bunny, but I like him as an actor.

I like him in WWE. Yeah. I'm a fan. Okay. But the guy doesn't have a song in English, so I thought it'd be difficult to do. Did you ever translate his lyrics and actually read them? So I've just started that with Hitler, but I'm going to jump there. You're getting to.

But next, that Buddy is definitely next. They're very graphic. I've, like, translated his lyrics to see what he was. up to, and it's pretty wild. Is there a song about, like, his being, like, horny for his aunt or something? Oh, there's a song about... I was a song about... I'm sorry, you literally have a bit in your special about wanting to fuck your

aunts. No, I... No, in the first ten minutes. I was saying when I was a boy. Yeah. You know, you just think about what your uncles get to do, and you're like... But some of those aunts are related to you. They're not related.

Exactly. Yeah, but he literally said, I didn't know which ones are related in which ones. One of my uncles was dating. Dude, one of this, one of my uncles...

We do research on this pot, bro. Yeah. Come out of it. God damn. We're gonna know. We're trying to spin it. We're just taking a moral stance on that specific thing.

He's trying to get ahead of it. He saw the tape with my gosh. If you were a girlfriend, they weren't like your real aunt. It was like, like, my uncle had an aunt when we were like little, like real little and she was so hot. And me and my brothers,

and we'd all like line up and hug her. See you were like, you try to hug her like three times. I don't talk by brother, like, how many times you hug her in Chana? She's like, I got two. I'm like, fuck, I'm going to get another one.

He's boxing you out. Yeah, girlfriend answered. Man. Is she still in the mix? What happened her? It didn't work out, unfortunately, but... Damn. Yeah.

Yeah, we'll figure out. Your cousin swept it. Stole her away. No, no, no, it just didn't work out. Anyway, we were talking about this earlier, but with the fucking bad bunny thing, which is like... I think, and I was saying this to you, this is a gift that I gave for the poor Reagan people.

Okay. Hold on. How is that? If I say something and I declare it, the opposite will happen. Okay. I said this. This is like, this is how this is the power you need to use wisely. Yeah, I've been trying my best. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I said Netflix is dead and then it becomes the biggest streamer, and then I end up getting the Netflix special, right? So if I declare, I said to my wife, I'm going to get you pregnant, that fucking did not. for a long time until I was like,

I don't even know if I could do this. And then, boom. So, like, whenever I say it, so I put that out there for the Puerto Rican people that I care deeply about. We appreciate you. Thank you. Yeah, we appreciate you.

Thank you. At least you acknowledge it. Make some more claims about Puerto Rico. Well, I know for a fact, it's not going to be a good Super Bowl performance. That's going to be clipped. I already know. It's going to be, I have to say that so it's amazing.

I can't believe you think he's not going to have a good performance of the Super Bowl. I love him and Happy Gilmore! think he's phenomenal. Spad Bunny and Happy Gilmore? He's really good. That's how good actor is. Dang. Dude, he's great at W.W.E.

Yeah. He thought he just cloned Marcelo Hernandez, but actually. Yeah, Marcelo's in it too. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And they're both great. Yeah. Okay, so listen, we're positive.

Thank you. Yeah, we're pumped on Puerto Rico. And we love Puerto Rico, don't we? Yeah. I'm a big fan. Big fan. Yeah. And we've helped out.

Alex, you donated, you donated electricity. Yes. I shot some paper towels. Yeah. They did what you had to do. Oh, they had a big power out. I went to a parade, just be a part of it. Yeah, of course.

You did that growing up. And what happened? Saw tits. You hugged my Cusker's aunt. With all the others. There was a lot of things out there. Almost it. Yeah, former.

Yeah, almost that. Anyway, my boy, we're back. So listen, the special's coming out. Very excited for you on that. But I really want to know about this radio play. Dude, it's a, it should be out soon. So I just thought it was funny to do a radio play because, like, nobody does them. They were, like, the things in World War II, and, like, you know, in London was, like, bombed out.

You just sit by a radio and, like, listen to a story. And I came up with a story about the idea was to take, like, Sons of Anarchy and, like, something like traditional tough guy stuff. Yeah. But interject it with, like, weird gay stuff. So I always wanted to do, like, imagine Fast and Furious of, like, the Rock and Vin Diesel just, like, kissed at the end. It would just be funny. So I did a, I thought it would be funny, but I did a, I did a radio play about it. I like that you do it on the radio so you don't have to actually act it out.

Exactly. We're not going to do that guy. Kissed a louder. Kiss louder. The dream was, too, because there is also lesbians. Everyone's very inclusive. And the dream was to have a very long audio lesbian sex scene that somebody at work would just be listening to with headphones on. It just went on like forever.

I want to get like a guy in an office hard as a joke. As a bit. As a bit. Yeah, it's a bit. Isn't that funny? I guess. Bad Bunny probably gets to do it's hard than the fucking Amazon

on this podcast. It happens all time, dude. Boners around the world. Think about that. Oh, by the way, I've adjusted my take on Bad Bunny, by the way. Since when? Since like maybe 25 minutes ago.

Uh-oh. I thought it didn't make sense, right? Because the guy doesn't have a song in English and football's only played in America, like, I guess, in Canada, but like, whatever. They play games in London every year. He's just the biggest streaming artist this year. No, no, no, no.

I've already acknowledged he's one of the biggest artists in the world in history. I've never said anything about that. I've never been critical about the music. What I'm saying is, I didn't think it made sense branding-wise. I'm like, why don't you put a country artist or some shit, right? But then we were talking, I was like, oh, the NFL is just trying to be an international brand. They're doing the games in London. They're doing the games in Mexico City. Like,

they're trying to expand as much as they possibly can. Brazil. So Bad Bunny might represent all the people who don't watch the Super Bowl. So you actually inserting him at the halftime show might be the perfect thing to do because you'll get all these people

who would never watch the Super Bowl to come watch and then they might like some of the gameplay. So I think it actually makes up. More people tune in for the halftime than the actual game. Is that true? Yeah. It goes up. Really? There was more people that saw a Kendrick's performance than that actually saw that. Nobody watched that shit. Watch that fuck that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Show Super Bowl halftime takes you fly. There we go. There we go. Dude, is this the police I don't know about that. What am I holding, you know? This is really crazy. I don't know about it. What is that for?

Yo, McCusker, what is this flag, bro? I don't know. Yeah, that's a little sketch. I don't know how I feel about that. Yeah, what's that? Yeah, I think I got to stay with this one. Yep. Yeah.

But I got to have half mass. You got a big pun, bro. Oh, dude, I never got to finish the, so the radio plays about a group of bikers who create a meth. They create a meth so powerful. I was like, I thought on that. I thought he was done it. I just want to get a guy hard and works, bro.

That's a subjoke. It's about a gang of bikers who create a meth so powerful it turns them all gay. So they're like, they're just like, you know like stem fapping? Stem fapping? Stem fapping? Stim fapping.

Staping is like guys will take like meth. And there's like chem sex and stuff. Like gay guys take meth and they have like gay sex for like three days straight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's guys who just do it on anerole and stem fap all day. Oh, fapping like jerking off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was the whole idea.

It was just like the toughest guys. Stem. Stim, stim, stimulet. Stim, fapping. Stim, fapping. And then, I don't know. Is it a stimulant? Yeah.

Okay, got it. A big thing. A lot of guys online do it. They, like, just stay up for like all night and just... Are you big, uh... No, I don't actually swore it off. Yeah, for you. What made that change in your life?

You don't make... Just putting down my phone and going, Jesus fucking crazy. Alone in a hotel room every weekend. I wish that, like, there's... I wish I could be there at the moments in your life where you make these like monumental changes you know, where you go, I don't think I'm going to be a drug dealer

anymore. That's a great radio play where we just go through these like force gum moments and like I could be a kingpin in this shit or maybe I'll just stop and then like cold turkey, you just stop. It was the way, honestly, I've tried to make the argument that selling drugs is addictive in itself.

Talk to me. It is. It's like an absolute like adrenaline high. It's genuinely. an addictive thing. I brought, I was in social work school, like, only during COVID, like, right before COVID, and I was still selling weed in social work school, and I was trying to make the argument that selling drugs is addictive. And they were like, that's bullshit. And I was just like, guys, I'm saying, I'm great. Yeah. Guys, I've a semi-s successful podcast, and I still can't stop doing it. I quit embarrassingly not that long ago.

It is a weird thing that, like, I get why, like, Alex sold drugs, you know what I mean? Allegedly. Pettiest stuff back in a day. I wasn't moving like you. No, you were moving away. I was crushing it, man. I mean, you had the social word pipeline. You would find people that didn't help.

And then you'd be like, yeah, I got it. Were you selling to the client help? No, no, no, no, no. It would be too much money. Oh, no, he had principles. I was, you know. Oh, I was, I just did it for so long that, like, I don't know. Like, it became legal.

And it was just kind of like. This is a thing that I think is like. This is like 15 years. Yeah. And you weren't in a situation where you had to do it. I mean, yeah, so I can avoid, like, an office job. But, yeah, I didn't have to. I didn't want to, yeah, exactly.

But I can't begin to explain how common that is. Like, I had a lot, like, I, weirdly, I went to, like, Spain, and I was like, we should, like, sell drugs. And we, like, we, like, bought a half a pound of weed, me and three guys. And I think I made, I made 17 euros total. Because we just smoked for, like, a whole half a semester. But, and we just gave it out to everybody. like there is and the friend that I was there sold drugs and he's a kid who like grew up with kind of like money and that so there is this thing that's kind of exciting about it yeah and

I'm trying to understand like where that comes it's not lazy it's usually smart kids too yeah like maybe I don't want to do this dumb job have you like kind of reverse engineered why yeah for me it was just like my whole family does construction I would do that and I was actually I was just bad at it like I was like they'd be like cut a piece of wood you know 40 inches and three quarters and I would just be sitting there with a tape measure like for an hour and then this isn't for me and then I was in an office for like three weeks and I just had like a panic attack I was like this is insane that people do this and then yeah I was just like I'll start selling weed and then I was so good at it because a lot of people who sell drugs are just like

they they don't function well at all you're kind of a more pure drug dealer though because like you had a way out and you were like no this is for me like guys that grew up in the hood they're like this is my only option you know that's the thing too yeah yeah well no it was it became really you can start to box yourself in because after like when years go by you can't do anything else because you're like dude i used to make a thousand dollars playing xbox for an hour with the guy i'm not going to go to an office and so you kind of like warp kind of what you do and you have like no marketable skills after well it's like stripping exactly yeah once you touch that cash it's just very difficult to go back into the mainline yeah but it's also like but the thing is

you eventually cross because i was like a suburban kid then you cross past with like dudes from you grew up in Philly, especially like in like the inner city, like North Philly. Yeah. And yeah, they'll like, they'll just take all your money with a gun. You're like, oh, these guys do this for real. Did you forget Rob? Yeah, for sure. How did it? Uh, three. But one of them was like

in a house with like a gun and all that stuff. Your house or theirs? I was at someone else's house. I had a gun pulled on me in my house too. But that was over like some other thing, but like it wasn't like... I stopped trying to fuck my aunt. It's like a domino game?

Okay, let's go through each one of these are off. Also, yeah, afterward, I want to know what made you a good drug dealer, because right now it doesn't sound like you're... Punctuality. I was punctual. I didn't do that bullshit where, like, everything's short. What are you trying to say? That's where I fuck out.

What are you trying to say about the people who sell drugs? Are they a little tardy? Very tardy. I would be on text like, dude, you said you'd be here at noon. This is unacceptable. It's 2 o'clock. Where are you? show with a gun, and they're like, give me running.

Like, ah, god damn. Okay, so first time you get a gun pulled out. Did you grow up with guns? Was that like, okay, so I grew up, like, my dad's a big gun guy. Okay, so you're not like, you're, you have a fear of guns like any of us would, but like simply seeing one might be terrifying. Yeah, I had a gun briefly. As a, but, yeah, but I didn't, was if you got caught.

Legally or? I was, like, it was someone else's. I just kind of borrowed it off them for a while. See? So that's not legally, but. bodies on it? No bodies? Like you had it in case you got into a bad situation?

Yeah, but then the penalty, if you get caught with drugs and a gun, the jail time, just like, you'd probably go to jail for sure, but if you just have, especially just weed, like you didn't, it wasn't like a definite you would go to jail. So it was just like, you know what, I'll just not have a gun. Also, guys, the generational triumph tour tickets are live. First of all, thank you so much to Toronto. We sold out three shows in the first day, added a fourth. Vancouver we sold out of the show added a second.

Dallas, my hometown, you stupid fucks, what are you doing? Oh, all I ever get asked, when are you coming to Dallas, when you're not even friends and family, comments. Oh man, please come to Dallas. Every Indian, you cheap fucks, buy a ticket. Akash Singh.com, I'm tired of you. I'm tired of you. Only 50% of one show sold out in my hometown. I'm trying to bring my mom to that show.

One show we're going to sell out, you fucking losers? Four shows at the Majestic Theater, that's when I need. four if we want to get four i might not show up akash sing dot com what's up guys i'm going to be in dubai nashville tennessee mobile alabama new orleans and a bunch of other places that i don't remember exactly where at the top of my head i think i already said nashville a bunch of other spots you can check them all at mark agnon live come on and see one hour of stand-up comedy no more no less and i'll see you guys at the show you know what don't suck his dick don't thank you it's just standing it bothers

me the amount of people you don't deserve a dick said a guy an indian dude came up to me afterwards he was like hey dude can we just do a picture no you cannot just do a picture you're not going to suck his dick you don't get a picture don't do that I'll see you guys in the show bye tell what is happening in your life that you go I think I need a gun and then I also need to know the self-reflection of you like I need to know you in the bathroom going I just said I think I need a gun am I doing the right thing so when I graduated college me and my brother bought a house off this iron no no my brother my older brother we brought a house off this Irish

immigrant in West Philly for $27,000. Wow. That was a house. Handshake deal. He was like, I want to move to New York. Like, if you guys just take over the payments, give me $500 a month. I think he owned it outright. Give me $500 a month. And I'll just transfer you the deed when you're done. And it was in like a pretty rough part of West Philly. Like literally, there was only four other houses standing on the block. And then I was on 37th Street. On 38th Street, it was like an open-air drug market. But the cool part was, is like, you know, I can live there for $250. bucks a month. So it was not a safe neighborhood at all. And I was selling

drugs and growing weed out of that house. So I needed a gun. Were any of the dudes that were selling drugs in that neighborhood feeling like you were encroaching Oh, no, no, no. I had learned that lesson a long time ago to like, I just stayed completely out of the mix. I always had, like, I just rode a bicycle everywhere.

I think they thought I was a cop, honestly. I sort of good, because I would ride a bike. And I would, like, my neighbor across the street was this old lady, and I was like super friendly with her. I'd thought about sending weed packages to house and then like getting them off her but i was like that's that's yeah it's like to get him in the mail too i had a whole thing going there yeah but would you ever go to the drug farmer market what's that the one you're describing the open air oh hell no dude that was that was not for you

a paddy wagon would come like once every two months and just snag like four of those kids and then the next day there'll be four more kids out there how how how legit is the corner sting like from the wire and you said you learned that the hard way it's it's not that so much it's like so like okay so say you're like temples like a great example temple is in temple university is in north philadelphia you get guys up there like you know like hippie kids they're like i'm selling weed oh blah but they're living in north philly yeah so then there's guys out on the block like real drug dealers out there on the block and like you know they're smoking weed and these like kids from college are like hey i got some weed man you want to buy it off me and they're like oh that's

awesome man well and they like these kids think they're cool so like we're hanging out with like fucking gangbangers and then they're just sussing out your setup yeah and i was always very good at like I would see that because I had already been robbed myself so I'm going like dude I don't know if this guy's your boy like that he's probably kind of and then dude they would you know tie people up go through so I had kind of witnessed that already so it was like a couple times too so it was just kind of like yeah dude like you got to be careful so where was your clientele it was it was like different colleges and different in the suburbs but I was able to like I don't know, I had a couple

connects that were like like there was time like when I did the pills and stuff big I never did pills but I was selling pills and that was like I'd go to like a bar in West Philly that was like it was in the hood but they I was making people money so they would they were cool with me

did you ever feel guilt not till later that was because I was like 19 and I didn't do pills and I had a friend who was like no they're cool man everything and we just like take them and then I like watched an apartment like there was this apartment complex in Brookhaven that like there was like all these kids living next to each other going to like different like local colleges and I slowly watched how like fucked up they became from opiates and then I was like never again because I didn't think they were that bad I was like pills drugs weed mushrooms like people having fun and then I like saw like oh these are really bad the pills specifically yes the mushrooms and the weed is kind of guilt free it was for sure right you just don't want to do high school stuff that that was kind of grimy because it's the kids yeah yeah yeah but the pills and then you

is the obiates or even like coke and then it's cut with weird shit and then god forbid somebody I've never done coke either never done coke really it's disgusting coke is so dirty and disgusting before the fentanyl dude the people cut it with baby laxatives there was guys like I shit myself at work because I took coke with baby laxatives

it's like yeah shoot stop I had a conscience though man because I sold coke for a little bit and I like people would come over and like it was really funny because they would come right back and be like I need some more and I'd be like you did all that already You felt the addictive. Yeah, I would be like, dude, you have a problem with this stuff.

So I, like, swore all that stuff off. You know, again, like 19, 20. I was like, okay, like, I got to witness firsthand. Like, this stuff's bad. Yeah. And then it was just weeded mushrooms from that on that. And can you make good money on the weed? The weed, yeah.

Coke is dumb. Like, you can't really, in my opinion, you don't really make that much money unless you're like... The risk is probably so much higher. That's what I kind of sussed out early on. I was like, dude, the risk of this is crazy. Yeah. Whereas, like, weed, you can have a couple pounds and, like, make way more money, way way more low stress.

Yeah But it also It just it is bad for you I never I never want to glorify it Because it's like It ruins your nervous system Like every time you leave your house You're going like who's that guy

Why is he outside my house? And you're just constantly Adrenalized and it's like it's bad Yep Maybe that's the sorry sorry Maybe that's the addictive quality You're talking about At first there's this excitement

Like every single day you feel like you're living And eventually there's this exhaustion That comes to And getting cash too Like at the end of the day Just being like dude look at all this cash ass Yeah It's like, it all feeds into an addictive.

It makes you a liar, too, because you have to lie to everybody. Like, the less people who know what you're doing, the better chances you have of getting away with it. So then you have to start, like, lying to everybody in your life about what you're actually doing because you can't be like, if you're, like, telling everybody, then they're going to tell people and you're just going to get in trouble. Did your parents know? Your brothers must have known. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I think my dad had, he was pretty hip to stuff after a while. Because, like, I was, like, paying for stuff. I never, like, was really flashy or anything, but, like, there was things I paid. for that my dad was just letting like bro like how and I was telling my mom I was like I'm a blogger I write blogs I would make more shameful

I'd pay for like a whole wedding I was like I'm a blogger when were you bringing in a year what type of money are we talking it's always up and down man it's like you'd like at the best of the best of it I would make there was a period where I would make almost like 4,500 bucks a week

cash and that's if dude I was like in tax free tax free that's like 500 K a year. Yeah, in my 20s. And it was just like, but then again, I'd have it all stacked up. I'd get robbed or like you'd mail out money for a package that would get taken. So I'd be like, I'd have 50 grand. I'd have zero bucks. I'd have 40 grand. I'd have zero. So I would bottom out constantly. Are you growing it or shipping in it? Try growing it. I stunk. So I was more, I did I grew the worst weed ever. I wrapped that up. And then I was just shipping it in. Or just buying enough people who shipped it in.

Yeah, it was. But at the height of it, I, yeah, I would, I think, yeah, I think legally I can't get in trouble for this anymore. It's been so long ago. But at one point, there was a summer where, like, I would get shipments where I'd split them with somebody of, like, 60 pounds. Wow. Wow. That's nuts, dude.

Where do you put 60 pounds of weird? The storage unit. It would smell like crazy. It's all that triple vacuum sealed. And it still could smell a little bit. There's a can of osium in the unit. If you wanted to get anything, the policy laws, you'd kind of hit the osium. You could check out.

Like a whole word. Just walk out with a giant ducam. bag and be like, do to do you. Off to hockey. And how many people did you trust with the knowledge of the storage unit? Me and one other person. That's it. Because if that gets out, forget it. You're done. Yeah, you're toast. And this guy was like, good friend of yours, somebody you really trust. Yeah, you're selling. How hard does it to grow wheat? So hard. Really? It's so hard. Yeah. It's like, it's not, it's a job. That was my whole thing. It's like, I don't want to have a job.

You've got a great job in your life of not having a real job. I, dude, it's my. Like, you went from drugs? To make you a radio place. I always had jobs. Whenever we, whatever like I hear you talk right now, I'm talking about, I'm like, wow, this guy is so smart and qualified to have a job. I could not do it. But here's, I had a million odd jobs, though, because I would also, you know, like, things would, like, you would know a guy close to you, they'd get in trouble. So, you'd have to, like, chill because you're like, I don't know what this guy's up to.

Yeah. So there's so many times where I have to leave that world and jump into a job. Like, what? any dog walking construction. I was a private eye for like two days. Those aren't real jobs. This is a real job. Dude, I was a PI for two days.

Dude, I work so many guys. I want dogs. A spy on people. What do you mean you were a PI for two days? Did you solve it? I didn't pay attention at all. I was supposed to sit outside a job and like, dude, they gave me a grainy photo.

And I just like sit there. How do you end up it's a PI for two days? I didn't. Who talks to you? What guys? talks to you and goes, no, because it's going to be perfect for this. He was sitting in the car, plays, flew, and just watch this sheet of wife and take pictures. It was so boring.

How did you get hired for that? I know, I know somebody who does PI stuff, and he was like, yeah, you can work for me if you want, and I just, I didn't, you know. So you asked him, you were like, I'd like to do a little PI. I heard my cousin was doing it. I'm like, dude, I want to be a PI, and I just sat apart. I thought I was going to be, like, have like a spy watch recording a conversation. I was just sitting in a parking lot, and they were like, we got to find this guy because we want to impound his car and I was like this sucks.

And it was just a grainy photo. I sat outside of like a commercial kitchen. It was like a catering company. I sat outside just like staring at different guys being like, then the guys would walk by me like, I'm fucking, what do you do it? It wasn't very private. First day on the job. And I would completely zone out and be like, oh, dang, that was supposed to be a shift change.

I missed it. And, you know, I was reading a book. I just sitting there's kind of like. Is there no. That's so funny. Is there no job job that you, now at this point in your life? You know what I actually liked? I went back to school for.

I wanted to be a therapist. That was a job. And actually, I worked into high school briefly. And I loved it, man. I worked in a high school in Philly doing like, I wouldn't say therapy. Guidance counseling? It was like a guidance counselor with like a clinical kind of tone to it where you like, you know, I get to bring in families and do family therapy. Oh, wow.

It was cool. That was the one job. I was like, I actually like this. And why did you stop? Because the podcast did well Got it. So you were doing that while you were. Yeah, it was still going well. And then it was like, that was, so as Shane was getting S&L,

or I think he got, like, you know what it was? It was the birth of my first kid. He got like canceled right during that. And then I was like, it was COVID didn't happen yet. But I remember thinking like, let me just try to do. I always wanted to be a therapist since I was like in high school. And I just thought it would be a cool job. And then I was like, I can't imagine there was a lot.

of therapy and your Irish family. That's why I didn't become one, because I was going to school for psychology, and I told my family what I was doing. They were like, don't do you nuts. They don't do that. They talked me out of it. And I was always like, I was like, let me, I'll go back to

school for social work, because that is kind of a shortcut. I'm a therapist. You kind of like, you know, skip a lot of school, which they don't like to say, but it's like, it's true. Yeah, if you want to be a shitty therapy. I had my master's in social work, dude. Or you could do the sci-D, it's called. Side D is probably even a little more intensive, I feel like.

Yeah, but it's just like you get the doctorate in five years, so you don't have to do the master's, whatever. With psychology, you've got to take all these biology classes. Social work, you literally sit in a room, and they're like, did you guys read the article on Foucault? And everyone's like, nobody read it. And everyone just, like, talks for five minutes. And they're like, the truth is, we don't really know what the truth is.

You're like, sweet. That sounds like. I was a psych major. I love psychology. Yeah, it was great. It's great for college because you're just learning about these studies that make great conversation when we're at the bar

with chicks and that's true it's like the perfect thing to talk about actually you know we're deciding our personalities between the ages

of one and three and that's probably why you're like this and they're like wow it's like what is that astrology for men but what happened

with the robbery well the big one there was a couple there was a couple I got robbed at club point one time in West Philly

trying to buy Perkissets that was embarrassing a guy just busted out a billet club like I'll smack your head Club point. Dude, I was the last guy to get robbed to clubboy.

Like you were in England. I'd given him 200 bucks to get me Percocets and he's like, I'll be back and I just waited like standing on like a street corner for like 40 minutes and eventually he like I think he came back like oh shit you're still here he's like get out of here and I was like I'm waiting for you know not until like and he just like

pulled out of a club with three of his friends. Like I'll crack your fucking head open and I was like all right you went. I'm out. Keep it. But the big one like the one that really this actually like kind of rocked me when I was it was like this whole thing where like I went to someone's house someone I knew and they were

they both owed me money and they were getting more weed off me so there was like I was in his room and there's like you know he owed me like 15,000 bucks there's 15,000 bucks on the table I had like four pounds of weed on me 15,000 dollars? Yeah it was like 50 yeah did you fund him yeah

I was fron on the front which is oh whatever hey man you gotta do what you got to do and uh and then that he was like my friends coming from Penn State and he's going to take four office right away and I'm like this is great

so I had four ready to go and then as we're sitting there he's like oh you know doorbell whatever he goes downstairs and I see him come back upstairs and his eyes are like this wide and I'm just sitting there like that's weird and then I see another kid come in with like a weird look on his face

then it's a dude in a ski mask with a gun being like you know give us your cell phone slide him forward all this stuff so we slide our phones back and he like he just said this all he's like who's mad who's mad blah blah and I was like specifically asking for you yeah and he because it was all

just orchestrated to kind of scare me but they were like if you guys look out the window we have people outside we're going to shoot you guys blah blah blah blah and then so then if you look out the window I was like damn dude

I'm scared there's a gun in the room I'm not if you look to your left you'll see it but no the whole thing I had made a YouTube video back then that went like a light leave art speaking of the Super Bowl is when the Coca Cola commercial

came out years and years ago, there's a Coca-Cola commercial where they, like, had Spanish in it, and everyone, like, freaked out and, like, went nuts or, you know, whatever. Which I strongly disagree with it. You remember that? I strongly disagree with that. And I think that we need more Coca-Cola. I need more Spanish representation in the Super Bowl.

But, like, I made a video, and that's how they got my name, because the kid to be like, this is what the kid looks like, like, kind of, you're using your own, my goddamn fucking YouTube viral video. I thought it was a cool thing at the time. Wow. Was it a funny video? It was a party that it was like... I got 24,000 views, you know, I'm pretty pumped on it.

Huge inside of... What year is this? They were all drug dealers, though. They were all your offs. 24,000 people. When was this? This was like fucking 2011, maybe. It was a while ago.

That's a good amount of years. It was huge, man. I was pumped because I had been doing stand-up, too. I started stand-up this whole time at 23, so I would do stand-up for a little bit, and I was going, you know, blah-wah. And so he comes in, he has, like, a gun in my face, and he's like, you know, blah, blah,

I should kill you guys, all this stuff. And I'm just like, the one thing that does happen, when you have a gun pull on you, like, time, like, you don't feel anything in the moment. Time just, like, stops. Yes, they do. Right? And you just go, like, whoa, and everything goes super slow. And you're like, you're very calm and relaxed. Like, I think you're just overwhelmed.

So he's doing all this stuff. And the thing I was proud of, I did have $1,000 behind me that he was like, is that all the money? And I was like, yes. And I got to keep the thousand bucks there is. You lied about that? Oh, wow. Yeah. That was 2014.

We got to watch it. This is where the guy fucking nailed me from. And he just matched you up with this image. He was like this. He was a PI. He was pretty hot.

This was a video that got my likeness from. Hey, just got done watching that National Anthem. Oh, you guys were in Spanish.

Yeah, something like that. Ain't no nothing national about that. It's fucking excuse me. There's ain't nothing national about that.

That thing is just like, That's a disgrace, man I got robbed like four days later You can't have everybody in the national and you know what I'm saying guys You can't have that man That just ruins it man God damn I mean seriously

Way to take my two favorite things in the world National Ants and the Coca-Cola It's totally fucking ruining for it man I can't get that image out of my head You know what I'm saying I can't no man I ain't cool Guys look man it took the Doug Dynasty guy of us now they're thinking on national anything

what the hell's next but are we just like continental drifting like right into Europe with coming some big fucking pussy state man that ain't America that I know This is the first I've ever recorded something

and uploaded it to the internet There's like no other videos It's just this No this was pretty much One of my very first YouTube videos I was like making fun of the uproar about Oh of course Yeah

And then got robbed And they used my face from this Like this is the guy we're going to rob. How many Mexicans you know fall in the Civil War? Yeah, how many Mexicans do you know that fall in the Civil War?

But people thought it was real and they, like, freaked out about it. Yeah, you know. And now today, this video would be real. No one would think this would be that right. Yeah, 49, Dave, is double. Okay, let's go. But yeah, so they used that video.

And so they just took all the drugs. They took all the money, and then they they bounced. Yeah, they took you everything. But the thing is, here was a trick. $9,000. You know, they got, It got, it was, yeah, like four pounds and 14,000 bucks. And so then that guy left. So the guy, the ski mask left, but he left the kid that, what I think happened was that kid was on other drugs. And he probably fell into debt with, like, pill dealer, heroin type dealers, and was like, hey, I know a guy, you know, blah, blah, blah, that's kind of how it goes.

And so they left him behind. And so I'm just sitting there, the guy leaves, like, you know, finally all that, like, anger. and all those feelings come back into you and I'm looking at the kid I know who's like mortified and I'm watching this other kid and I'm like this is like a bad actor like he's not he was in on that and I just I literally started like choking him

just like I like snap So wait you put it together I figured yeah I knew exactly because I was like this dude he was like oh we've been watching that was the whole thing like oh we've been watching you you're over here you're infringing on our territory and I'm like They probably were all working together most likely

Even the guy you know I sort of I guarantee it I would guarantee he was fucking terrified And this other guy was like, the other guy was like, oh, another guy was like, for real freaking out. And this other kid was just like, oh, shit, what's going on? And I started just like, but that's a fair point. And, you know, maybe I'll call him the motherfuckers. But he, but I started choking this guy and he started just like, motherfucker, blah, blah, blah. And then like, you know, my, because you're like, it's like a blackout anger.

Yeah. And then the kid I knew was like, stop, blah, blah, blah. So then like, I had this kid who. who had, you know, set me up and robbed me. And it was like a funny day. It was like a light kidnapping. I was like, you're not going anywhere until I get my fucking money. I could figure out like what's going on.

And I had to take him to a T-Mobile store because they took all of her phones. And he's like, oh, I sort of got my friend from Penn State still coming. I'm like, well, if that's the case, he should be texting you like crazy. Let's go to the T-Mobile store and let's check your text. So I take him to the T-Mobile store and we walk in there. And I'm like, yeah, he needs a new cell phone. And he's just in the lady's like, okay. And like, he's just sitting there just like looking at his feet.

and then at one point he goes Help And I was like shut the fuck up I was like But I wasn't like a tough violent guy either I was just you know At this point I was just annoyed in him

I was disappointed And I like Just kind of carted this kid around For an afternoon Be like he's a little motherfucker I need and he's like Just take you to my dad My dad will pay it off

I swear to God My dad will pay for it And I'm like all right Which that was a horrible idea So I take him down to like a warehouse in South Philly and again when he had called his dad I was like don't be fucking screaming

or anything that shit you're doing the T-Mobile Sword at the end of it he's like Dad seriously I didn't help out of I'm like motherfucker so then like I drive down to this warehouse in South Philly it's like Italian guys and like the dad's there with a ex-cop with two fucking guns on his

side and I'm like dude can this day get any fucking worse and he's just like let me get this straight blah blah blah he's like if I find out my son was responsible I will pay you the money and I was like that dumb to be like well great I'm glad we figured this out you're gonna give me my drug money

and they never did and then like me and this dad had a big back and forth and you know that got a that was like a thing and his wife spazzed on me and then this is like in the community or something like how are you bumping into them I knew well you got text messaging

I got well here's the thing the wife claimed because they were like South Philly Italians so the wife tried to be like we're in a fucking mob we'll kill you and then I hit them with a totally bluff like dead man switch where I'm like, bro, I know your address. If anything happens to me, they're going to burn your fucking house down. Not true at all.

It worked enough to where we just did like a truce and parted ways. So that was like, that was and it was, yeah, it was bad. That was all my ex-wife's birthday. So I had to then drive to her birthday after that. In Atlantic City with no money. You know that Dave Chappelle half-paked where like he's checking, that was the birthday? I was like,

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somewhere it works as hard as you do and that is cracking baby so cracking it is simple it's secure it's where real moves get made let's get it terms apply you're making 4,500 a week that's like 200k you're a 250 I was working for my dad too

doing construction so here's my question you're paying $250 a month you're not buying flashy things what are you doing with the extra money dude I paid for a wedding I paid for a wedding your wedding yeah my first yeah i paid for that that was a big one i like how you said you paid for a wedding i know i did it seems so benevolent like you did it for like a cousin that was going through a hard time so you paid for your wedding that you paid for two of my life oh you paid for you married i'm remarried

well i know you were married but so you paid for the second one as well damn bro all my all my money went to just weddings i just funded weddings and then i just get around and then like that day another guy crapped out on me and then I like got desperate with all the really bad

I got desperate with the gift money from the first wedding and mailed at the California that got snagged by the postal police so I was really on my ass fuck

wow yeah that was another bad that was a tough conversation but yeah I was a why was a fucking divorce

you know people are different and I was just a mania I was a fucking maniac when I was younger that was the problem I was like a nice person

but I was just Like, my risk, I couldn't calculate risk really. I was just nuts. Yeah, no risk aversion. None at all. Which is helpful in this business. That's kind of true. It's like a huge advantage.

Yeah, people are like, how do you, like, manage the nerves? Like, it's like, I just, like, had a feeling in my body that I hated all the time. And I just wanted to just, like, do stuff. Not do it. Yeah. Now, does that change with kids? Yeah, big time. That's when I stopped.

That's when I stopped. Once I had kids. Yeah. So I told my wife, I was like, I was like, I'm going to have a pound of weed on me forever. So, because she would be like, I don't really like it. and she actually became a cop. My wife now became a cop. I mean, she's not a WMBA player?

No, that was great. That was so good. It was, dude. I saw... Were you aware of it? Yes, I saw the day before. She didn't know. She didn't...

We weren't going to go until, like, last minute. I was like, you know what? I think it'll be fun to go. And because at first I was like, I'm cool. And she found out. She's like, I want to go. I was like, all right, fine, we're going to go. So, like, two days before, I'm like,

hey, we're going to go. And Shane's like, hey, I'd like, you know, blah, like text of Brittany like would you be cool with this and then I read the text and I was like dude that's so funny so yeah that was really good so she was aware of it she didn't realize she was going to be like front and center in that way

he just thought she was going to like he was going to bring her up oh I thought she sold I thought she sold really well when we got there when we got there he was like hey you're probably going to be on camera and she was like what that's great she did a great job she did a good job but yeah there was a period because then like that was

like the big fall but then you know you come back up and you know I could still It was never that big after that, but I could still make a comfortable living. I did it for a while, and then I had kids, and yeah, it was just like, the risk aversion was just like, dude, I'm going to go to jail. That'd be fucking crazy. Once I had kids, this is a big thing for me. When I had my first kid, I remember seeing the guy come into the hospital room just like changing the paper towels. And I was like, dude, I could totally do.

Like, I'll do anything. Just give me a job at this point. I don't give a fuck what it was before it was such a thing for me where I was like, I don't want to do that every day. Now I'm like, I don't fucking care. Yeah, I'll go shovel, you know, holes I'll go dig holes, man, I don't know. Yeah, it is interesting how that changes. Yeah, and like your relationship,

I don't know about you, but like your relationship with money changes. Yeah. Yeah, it's not this thing that you're just lighting on fire. Like, you can do that when you're single, you're alone. You can even do that when you have a girlfriend, to be honest with you. It's like, okay, what is the big risk here? Yeah, they want you to.

You're, yeah, it's, yeah, but like with the kids, it's, yeah, you just feel. It's like every, you make a big purchase. You take this, you know, risky. situation and you're like oh is that college for them? Yeah yeah that's and then they get old enough to talk

to you and then they like that's the worst part when you have to confront you because I was also I always had anger problem so like I used to like break shit like I was bad like I you know with my wife now like I would like throw a fucking break shit in our house yeah and then you have kids and you're like yeah you can't be doing that it's funny because you wanted to be a therapy

that's why I got to work through shit Yeah, I mean, I don't gravitate towards, like, psychology unless you either, like, have clinically depressed parents or you're dealing with something. Because you're like, I just got to figure this fucking shit out. I smashed a ball of olive oil in our old house and the state, you can never get that statement. So we'd be fighting and she'd be like, oh, yeah, great. And I'd be like, fuck. I don't do now.

I've come, but the kids come and you're like, yeah, I can't have the environment be like that. and when they get old enough to talk that's dude if I even like catch a slight attitude towards my wife my daughter's like you're being mean to mom and I'm like fuck he's not more is caught than taught if you look back and think about like how many

things your parents taught you with their words like I don't know how many things my dad like said hey you're going to learn how to do this like I distinctly remember him telling me the importance of apologizing which now I know as a married man came from my mom but in the moment I was like okay I guess you just do apologize you just learn

and like I take accountability it allows you to move on like I remember him like sitting me down and like teaching me that or whatever outside of that like I've learned everything about like who I am as a person from just observing him with other people yeah so it's great that you keyed in on that because that's the expectation that they'll have for a relationship yeah no big time man and that was like yeah you really yeah that was that was like kids I was already trying to like get myself together I mean the worst part is I had the time before I had kids

I'm like bro I'm like I remember I went when I was in social work school they were like you got to go to a therapist yourself and I I never been to a therapist and I remember thinking walking into the office that I was about to just blow this lady's socks off dude I thought I was going to walk in and she was going to be like bro hold on dude

she's like she's let's just take it yeah we don't think that I'm going to take that the stage. That's funny. Hey, sweetheart. Why don't you lay down today? Dude, she just gutted me. She was like, wait, why do you think that? And I was like, what do you mean? What do I think? And then I started being like, oh, fuck. And I got devastated in the first hour. I'm like, fuck. Do you miss the game at all? You know what it's like, you know what's funny? Like, I'll drive and I'll still have a cop pull up behind me. I'll go. And then I go, oh, how don't I have to worry about that? And it's like a nice feeling. But towards the end, I'm, it's like, towards the end. end of it. I really didn't need to at all. The podcast

was doing well. Yeah. But I had so many friends I sold weed to that I knew and I gave him like a fantastic price. You don't want to let them doubt. Well, really? Because I was like they're going to get cooked, man. I'm like, they're going to get cooked. I can't have it. I can't have it. I can't have it. There's an injustice in this.

And for me, the part was like, well, the weed price just plummeted, dude. It used to be so high. And there was a point where like it plummeted, but there's a lot of people who didn't know it plummeted. Unless you could take a page without arbitrage. God, bro.

You could have. Oh, he wants that. There were still $400 ounce guys that you'd be like, oh, my fucking God, I can't believe you paid. But then I was like, you know what? It became like everyone, I became friends with people. There was like, you know, when you do that, that's like the only people we were really talking to. And then I was just like, you know, and I, the part of like being, like, addicted to it was like, I still love this of like when I go into a house and you get to pop open, pound. of weed and like smell them and see all the different kinds and like I want that one that one this

one blah blah blah and then you get the show and they're like oh this is awesome like I just I love it's like a wedding you know you're tasting all the cakes it really is but then it was just kind of like you know and they were just like you know it you just deal with people for years and it's like they're like man I just like dealing with you I don't know what I'm going to do and some people like you know a huge chunk of their livelihood depended on it so eventually yeah I just kind of handed it off I was just like you you know and that way did you give your rolodex to us like someone you know Yeah, yeah, Keyes. That's actually how I got in the game.

Yeah, you know, here's everybody is all you guys. Do you just call them, like, on a cold call? Like, hey, we've actually changed hands. They just, like, they tell him, like, hey, this is my new guy now. Is it, like, when you're at a restaurant and, like, the waiter comes over, like, my ship is over? You know, Gene is actually going to take over for the rest of him. It's a cat. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, you used to have a tear coming by. See, man. It's been great. There was just one guy who I met, and I love this guy to death, but I had never met him before. Like, the first time, you know, it was just like a friend of a friend. Like, oh, they'll look. So I had gotten rough directions to his house, and he was an older guy, and they were like, you know, blah, blah, blah, I called him.

He's like, I'll be in my house. But it was like a driveway situation with, like, multiple houses. Kind of like getting the sticks a little bit. And I pull up his driveway, and I'm terrible with directions, and I'm like, I think this is a, this guy's house and I was just like all right so I like walk into this dude's house with a school bag with two pounds of weed in it and there's a dude another older guy outside so I'm like okay like an older guy you know I'm like hey I'm looking for Vola and he goes the guy's hammered he's like he's in his bedroom and I was like it's fucking weird for an old man to say

another old man's in his bedroom and I'm like what the fuck's he why do they live in the other and I walk up I just knock on the door no answer I open the door there's a fucking 12 year old boy in his room. I was like, well, no, no, no, no. And I, uh, I come out and I was like, oh, fuck. And I come out and the guys, I like, explained to him like, hey, I'm looking for it. And the guy, like, I got through, through his drunk. He was like, oh, dude, he's in the, I thought you're one of my friends buddies. I'm like, bro, I'm fucking 30 years. I have gray hair, dude. Hey, why the fuck was there a 12 year old boy in the bed? It was his son. I was in the wrong house. Oh, my God. I just walked into the wrong house. I thought you walked into like

That's what I'm here Thank God I clarified that Oh no no Oh my Lord I was like oh no Sorry sorry it was just funny I had walked in the wrong house And we were both like

DAA we just like scared each other He was just like playing video games And I was like Okay And I found the guy Look at that Epstein opened the door Yeah

He's right down to all Sorry I'm glad you guys So that'd be terrible Yeah I'm like this to horse Sandalsky Did you ever get pulled over with weed in the car? No, I got in a accident one time with weed in my car

And I just told the guy I was like, there was a cop over there And I was just like, hey dude, I'll totally don't worry, I'll take it over it all, blah blah blah blah I took his information was like You just bounce Yeah, I didn't like hit and run the guy But yeah I was just like let's get out of here

And I had a I had one time I had an elderly Chinese man Bump into me in traffic and it was like it was like it was really funny because we were going so slow and he just fucking hit my bumper and I was like what the fuck and he got out and he was like uh no no he was like get being like it's no big deal and I'm like I mean I guess but like what the how the fuck did you do that that was the same thing where I was like man let's just get the fuck out of here

let's you know let's just go because I had weed in my car too I was like well let's get out of man we're good no I never got pulled over with anything crazy just an insane I just couldn't handle the stress stress is correct my feet used to shake I'd be driving around like but you need it like you need your brain to be occupied I feel exactly

that's the thing about having kids like your brain is always occupied exactly it was the thing too like free time I just float around and when you're doing that you're locked in all the time same with parenting though you're but I'm just like what the fuck are they doing what are they doing yeah survival mode yeah I like it

I knew this guy who was a cop that was like a crooked cop he was like doing cops up and then also like stealing drugs from drug dealer and he said that he had to quit because he would drive down the highway and half his body would go numb just from stress like he would just like guys were trying to kill him other

cops were on his case and he would just like he'd have to pull over because he couldn't use the brake because like his leg would just be fully numb he's like I just can't drive yes it's really bad for you it is it's a bad it's a bad thing to do being wicked turns out being wicked he's bad at me and the sickest dude ever

when you were gray hair at Thursday I wonder what it was so what now like how do you keep that i guess parenting obviously it is so interesting with the kids when they start talking like yeah the guilt that you can feel like oh my daughter she's she's in uh Santa Barbara with my uh my wife to visit her family and we're coming back from australia and they stopped there and uh i i facetined and then obviously i wasn't there and then she goes she goes oh uh she goes dad that movie and like Like, the fact that she had, like, a reason in her head why I wasn't there was, like, heartbreaking.

Yeah, dude. Like, you're aware that I'm not around during the day? Or did that work? And it's like, yeah, I have to work. That's my responsibility. And I can, like, justify that to myself for sure. But, oh, man. Yeah, that was tough.

My daughter, my oldest daughter hit me with that. I was like, I love hanging out with you guys. My favorite thing. She's like, no, it's not. It's working. I was like, fuck. Yeah. I, like, made her.

I'm like, no, it's not. say that you're you're wrong you're wrong fucking raise the olive oil bottle you're like the worst when we moved

when we moved to Texas we're in Philly and they like I didn't realize they come take all your stuff like two weeks before and put it in a truck and take it down there

then you fly later so we had our house was empty and it was totally empty and I was like you know I was in my head I kept being like

look guys we're moving you can do this multiple ways I like how you're like this is how it's done they come two weeks before you got to live in

the fresh-prem stuff yeah we had no stuff and I remember like when they were taking our stuff I'm like look guys see this is why I work because if we don't have any stuff if we don't work

we don't have any stuff and as soon as I took all their stuff my kids were like yeah I was like this is for my own ego you're right about that they don't want us to work at all

they really don't and they'd be fine with nothing I had him with that's finally sunk in I'm like Disney Plus and they were like I was like if I don't work we don't have that and they were like

yeah it's all worth it Yeah, like, I don't know. Disney Plus is a good one back. Oh, you guys like Disney Plus? Wait until they find out how to make $12 a month. Yeah, I got it this month. You have to work. Wow.

Have you ever thought of a cover story? Like, your kids are one day going to know about your past and they might ask you. No, I'll just, I mean, no, I'll just be open with them. I feel like, I don't know. I have a lot of faith in them. They'll be way smarter than I was. And, like, they'll know, like, yeah, this is, you guys are. going to do good stuff yeah are you like an uh is parenting strategy with with your wife like

is it honest parenting do you kind of communicate to them as adults almost kind of like i'll uh what i try to do if i if i try to like really kind of get on their level and like if if i ever raised my voice i apologize even if they're doing something that like they shouldn't be doing i always am like hey sorry i raise my voice that that's that's wrong for i shouldn't do that but you know i need you do this blah blah blah blah and they're like really a minimal especially like what you're saying about apologizing that's like the biggest marriage hack ever because if my wife had a problem with me or something I did I would get angry and then be like all right I'm just going to tell her why I'm right about this and dude and I would

I would just not stop and then one day I was like you know what man I'm sorry I fucked up and it was like well I forgive you and I'm like fuck that's all I to fucking do I you know what I did destroy you with logic but you know what I when I've realized about it it it's like And I can't speak for you, but I think a lot of the time is, like, fighting for our, how they perceive us. Yeah. So it's like, we do something that hurts them, right? And I need to convince you that that's not who I am.

So you keep loving me. And they're like, I'll just love you if you say, I'm sorry. I know you're a good guy. So it's just like I'm fighting to be the knight in shining armor constantly. This is back to your Bible take. This is why Christianity's kind of fire. Because it just starts off with being like, hey, we're both pieces of shit, right? This is a great fucking thing.

Adam and Eve ruined all of us. So we're both scumbags. So I'm just being shitty like I was. And it's also your fault. Fundamentally. You kind of fucked up. You ate the apple. Yeah.

I left for one second. For one second. But yeah, you had this great take. And what is it? You phrased it. But I was watching on YouTube yesterday. And it's like 10 seconds. Well, it was really, like, me and my wife, my wife, like, really likes church.

And I like it, too. I grew up going to church. My mom's, like, very Catholic. We went to Catholic Mass every Sunday. But, you know, like, you get older and you're like, yeah, you don't really go. So, like, my wife has, like, expressed the desire to go to church. And I'm like, yeah, let's just go. Black church, white church.

So we've done both. We've, like. Black church is sick. I just feel like I'm kind of ruining it. Like, just a white guy at Black Church. I feel like they'm like, I feel like they can't go as hard. You know what I don't know. I just feel like I'm kind of a damper.

on the environment. I like it. Like, do they look back at you? That's funny. They're like, is this what they think we do? And it's also like, you know, I come from Catholic. The Catholic Church is like the biggest church. Sometimes you get a black church and it's kind of still a startup. Yeah.

You're kind of like, damn, it's more fun. It's so fun. Everybody's happy. It's a lot more dynamic. Yeah, a lot more interaction. But we've like met in the middle kind of and like we just go to like kind of like a Christian, almost a megachurch kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. So, which is, it's a nice. format. A lot of people hate megachurches, but it's like, whatever. People are there, like, trying

to work on themselves and whatever. I don't, like, do it all over. You got to do it. You feel amazing. You feel amazing. Like, you cannot deny the feeling you have when you walk out. Yeah. It's great. And it's also, you sit down, and it's like they're tackling issues from a point of ultimate authority that, you know, my wife respects. Me? Not so much. If I can get the Supreme Creator of the universe a little bit on my side, I'm kind of like, yeah, and they'll hit points, and she'll be, I can see her like, that's fair. And I'm like, oh, whew, yeah, save that. Well, I'd miss that part.

What do you say? Serve your husband. Interesting. I'm married to God. But, you know, it's, it is like a, it's like a touchy subject, but there are like, because then, like, now where it's kind of like, you know, like, whatever, there's no difference in gender. It's like, okay, fine. If you're two college students, like, you know, riffing on gender stuff, it's whatever. Once you're raising kids, you're like, yeah, they're kind of are.

And it's like, not everybody's exactly the same. Like, not all women are like this or all men are like that. But, like, yeah, when kids get hurt, they tend to run to their mom. And, like, they tend to want their mom. Like, before I left for this, my daughter, because my wife went away for like a weekend trip, came back because I'm going to be gone for a while. And my daughter was like, I can't wait until you go on a trip. And mom's here. Because they just, they like, if my wife's gone, they're like, what the fuck is this?

But if I'm gone, they're kind of like, I wish that guy was here, but they're fine. Yeah. So, I don't know. It's just, and it's nice to have, like, you know, contextualize that in a way where it's not just like, you know, you're being like, make me a fucking sandwich bitch, but it's also there's,

there's some reality to, like, the roles in household and raising kids. Like, you know, just like the team roles and ever. Like, if you're tall, you're a center in basketball. You know what I mean? You've got milk in your tities. The kids like, you know what I mean? That's how it is. Yeah, I just, you know.

But so it's good to kind of like, otherwise, too, it's like, you do have to root yourself in something and it's like religion is you go to weddings where it's like we're just going to read like you know modern poetry and it's like okay this is nice but like you root it in a real

whatever faith-based perspective it is just deeper and more enduring I don't know what you know what gets me at church is a submission like seeing people submit to a higher power like I get emotional every single time it's like the music is on and they're singing and you can

tell like they're fully submitted to this higher power and uh this guy just likes when people submit dislikes it's like that's hard as hell yeah i don't know maybe you're not seen for the same reason i don't we harness this no but like it's this i don't know it's something it's something beautiful about it yeah there's just this idea that like you're not going to try to control every aspect of your life the idea that you're not the biggest thing in the world yeah like it's like you're humbling yourself and in such a narcissistic society it's nice to see this pocket of people or this place where everybody remembers oh there's a much bigger thing out there yeah it's like now my one piece of pushback is

i do think if you are married Islam is probably the best religion as a man yeah and i i formed this opinion we were we were doing shows in malaysia i think i headline one weekend after you headline or something and uh i asked about valentine's day or something and then everybody got quiet and then i said what's going on. They said, we don't celebrate Valentine's. I said, why not? They said, I don't know. It's Haram. And I was like, what does that mean? And they were like, well, it's against God's will. And I was like, isn't that convenient? The day for them, everybody's like, you know what? God don't like it.

God don't like it. And I was like, that is fire. That is awesome. I mean, the real reason they don't sell it is because it's St. Valentine. Right? Right? Like, that's... Oh, sure. tell that But I like the way that you look at it

You're just like They fucking hate women Jesus is a prophet But we're gonna draw the line It's St. Valentine Well they don't count the saints So they just count the prophet Christmas ain't Hadam

Christmas is Haram I went to Malaysia I saw Christmas decorations everywhere We went Christmas time Yeah but it's still Haram But they're still there's Christmas decorations everywhere Yeah you can't celebrate Christmas It's not you're putting up decorations

No, man, you could celebrate. They're giving gifts. They're doing the candle thing. You can celebrate the birth of a prophet? Yeah. Yeah, that's not Haram. Yeah, they might not go to church and pray to St. Valentine, but you give gifts in the same way they won't go to church on Christmas, but they'll give gifts. Yeah.

But because it was like, this day is for them and it's a lot of pressure on us. Yeah. Yeah, we're done with that. I'm lying with it. They're people, too. I can respect that. You know, like, I think that's what I've learned. It's like, they're also people.

You know what I mean? Like, they're human beings. In the end of therapy, you know, like, as long as they apologize and submit to me. Yeah, true. Yeah, they're human beings. No, it is a sick move, though, to be like, yeah, man, we're just not with the whole, you know. That's, I try to be like, it's just, it's like a Hallmark holiday. My wife's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but they don't work.

But if you're like, hey, God don't like it. Yeah, true. That's what you're going to do? Yeah, you can't really support God, yeah. Sit down. The Jehovah's got that down. Yeah, they do that with birthdays, too. They do it birthdays, Christmas.

Yeah. Women love their birthdays. Yep. Anniversaries, probably? Yeah. No, I'm just throwing out there. Birthdays, that's a tough one to stop.

Women love their birthday. I can't. I didn't. I got in a massive fight with my wife on a fourth birthday. I'm watching that's brain work. He's like, hold on, what type of Christianity is it?

Birthday sounds impossible. Can you fact check Joe's winners? I don't think they don't. They don't get presents. You can celebrate. Like, you can say happy birthday to one another right? I don't think so.

They avoid celebrations with roots in pagan customs. Yeah. Oh, all right. You can't celebrate anybody but got it. That's just you. That's a slippery slope because I would like to take away Valentine's Day, but then you do Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, cool?

Probably not. That's not bad. You can do Thanksgiving. No, thanks. You can't get to get them. Yeah, that's fine. That's just a lot. Can't dress up.

Yeah, can't do a ghost on Halloween. Yeah. Sometimes you got to give up something to get something. You know what I mean? True. Yeah. Not bad. All right, guys, stay a break for a second.

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But the ones I were playing were native flutes, yeah. Okay. Native to here or native to South America? I think it was like Native to America. It was just the, those native flutes are just a pentatonic scale and they're just five notes. So like you're just only playing within the scale. But every, like, they have the Asian flute,

they have the Celtic flute. They're just like slightly different. Right. Almost every society has pretty much a flute somewhere. We had the fluteophone. What was the fluteophone? It was just like this ghetto-ass instrument they gave us public school kids to like make it seem like we were. The recorder?

No, no. What was the flute phone? I've never heard of a recorder. Yeah, we got a recorder. What is that? The flutophone, bro. That's the one? That's the squid word?

I think that's the squid word. That shit is more to flutophone. Wow. So that's probably a major scale. It was the spork of instruments. Yeah, yeah, you can't play it wrong. Whatever you're doing with it is the right thing. Yeah.

You ever try to sing to your kids and then realize you don't know any of the words and you're a terrible singer and they get pissed? Personal story. Early on. You ever trying to have sex with your wife and you hear your nanny reading Lama Lama Rep. You ever do that? No?

All right, just me? I've pushed for, I've pushed for, they've, If, yeah, we have a baby, I call her a babysitter, she's a danny, but she's there during the day. But, yeah, if I try to have sex while she's in the house, my wife's like, absolutely not. Can't do it. Yeah, she can't. She won't do it. What do you, like, how do you do that?

What? Have sex with your wife? Like, how do you? I swear to do you. That's literally, like, the overarching thesis of my entire special, which is how to fuck your wife. I swear to go. It's a trick, man. There is a trick to it, man.

Okay, to bring it down. You know, this is, I. swear to God, I stopped, well, I do my best to stop masturbating. I've been pretty successful. Yeah. So, I told her, I said, look, you know, like, you obviously, you hate if I watch porn, totally valid. I'm not even going to

jerk off anymore, and she's like, that's awesome. I'm like, but it's your, it's your thing now. I'm passing the responsibility. I'm passing. You gave her the roll of it. You're doing a godly thing. Now she got to do it. Yeah, I'm like, I don't want to do this. Hamas isn't going to control Gaza, but now we have someone else. but I kind of just

I don't know I was just kind of like I just you know what it was and it's not even like true reverse psychology I was like I'm kind of trying to retain I was like I'm more into retaining I feel stronger like it's before I just be begging her begging her

second she heard that oh bro yeah I'm gonna lose you're not I'm gonna destroy you and I kind of honestly now I like the feeling of like I just kind of let it ride I don't like I used to get like

I felt like it was a thing that was being done to me personally and like if I wanted to have sex and she wasn't in the mood I'd be like, how about? Fuck, could you not want to do that? I'm like, farting everywhere. You've been shattering away.

I've been mean to her for three days and farting everywhere. I said, I'm not even all the way hard. What is this woman? She's been breast-beating children all day and I'm here with a hard dick. And she doesn't want to have.

handle that for me? I did a podcast for two hours. Came home, working hard. I'm tired, too, all right? We're all doing it. Yeah, and I just, you know what? I was just like, I just, it was like a vicious loop because then you get like mad about it, you get cagey about it. And I was like, you know what, man? I'm just like,

I just like got to the point where it was like I'm just not going to worry about it, man. When it comes, it comes, when it doesn't, it doesn't. And it just like, once I let go of that whole thing, I just feel like it's just, it's just more and more now. And it's nice, too. when you, they can tell, too. When you're like gooned, when you've been, like, watching the porn and all that stuff,

they know, dude. Like, they can feel the difference. What do you mean? What do you mean by that? Guid, you know a goon. No, of course I know a goon. It's like, they can do it. They know when you're not goon.

My wife's been in California the last year. Very familiar with gooning. They can tell. Because, like, dude. What's your Patrice took? Like, I'm surprised my drain not pregnant. you like you hit a gear especially if you're like

watching porn all the time and jerking off yeah you like like your boner is just like different you have a different you have a goon boner once you remove that and you're just like seven days of just nothing at all dude like you'll catch like my wife's like bra and be like you get horny like you did when you're younger

yeah and then you break her off of that and she's like whoa dude this is crazy you break her off with that you break her off with that yeah he's doing drug So this radio play is going to be phenomenal I got to cross my legs and I get stiff right now He's like, you're breaking over some dick, right? He's got so horny from retaining He's like, what if lesbians just fuck?

About the recording. I wrote it when I had like first out watching porn I know. He was like, dude, just watch fucking porn. He's like, just jerk off it. He's like, this is wrong. because you're in here because I have an apartment I use as an office he's like you're just in your fucking apartment getting yourself hard stop the other thing though with the porn stuff in marriage is like well for me if I get into a little funk with my wife I do that I'd like slither away and be like she'd fall asleep like I'm gonna jerk on and you get like a little parachute yeah and it's helpful to take that away so now it's like we gotta hash this shit out we gotta work it out we have to work it out yeah yeah but the thing I found is like don't be too hard

yourself because like you know sometimes you do just have to relieve the pressure valve yes you know so what are you doing those circumstances a little nocturnal and miss i mean i know you just got to you gotta sometimes you just got to slither away but it's like you know but if that's if you start doing that all the time all the time i think it just kind it just like waters you down a little bit i i subscribe to this just as you get older dude all these guys on boner pills it's like bro stuff but but you need to there's another thing that happens if you don't for a while I feel like you can get used to not Yeah

For me Where it's just like I think being I think like doing it more consistently Is better Like it allows Like it like tells my body Like hey we need to continue building this up

I see what you're saying Yeah I ran into that early on Where I was like dude is my dick dead Like I haven't like No one's touched it in Yeah Two weeks and I think it's dead now Yeah

You're all right about that But I do think if you fuck And then like two days later You're like, I need this, I can't, like, right? Yeah, yeah. It's a tricky thing. I just try to, because a lot of people become, like, absolutist about it. We're like, I'll never do it ever again, but it's like, for me, like, I try my best not to.

Yeah. And I try to stack, like, months at a time where I don't. But, like, eventually, I'll get a night where, like, you know, I've had too much coffee that day. My wife is asleep. I'm awake, and my whole body is just vibrating. And at that point, it's like, dude, just rub one out quietly. You just get your quick imagination beat and just go to bed. Oh, yeah.

I was getting, I was getting fucking, what is it called? Nocturnal emissions, what is it, wet dreams? That's the best. Like, regularly. Never had one, dude. Really? Never had one, I'd be getting those. Bro, like, it is, it is, I mean, it is, it is fantastic.

That's so, it's the best. It's fantastic. It's guilt-free. It's like, and it's always weird. Like, you always come, like, right, but, like, I don't like, I'm not like this stallion in my wet dream. Yeah. Like, I, like, just put my dick in the girl's mouth and immediately... I've apologized in a wet drink.

I'm not. I said, I'm sorry. And then I wake up, and I just have come all over my boxes. Like, it's always past, but the buildup is amazing. Yeah, that is just... Every time I'm having a dream like that, it just ends. Maybe it, maybe it happened once, but, like, dude, like, I don't get them. I'm always like, please.

Oh, it's... That's like, every time I go to bed, I'm like... Got to hide your underwear, like a slut. Yeah, you got to put that... I dry the come into the underwear and then I hide it in the hamper. They get chilly. Someone else is going to hear that.

Those don't need to get chilly quick. They get pulled. They catch the wind, man. You're like, whoa. No, I don't like it because it ruins my sleep a lot of times because once I come and I'm changing boxes, I'm up. I'm not going back to sleep.

Oh, you're going to wake your babe up and they're like, I just fucking came. Breathing in her ear. That's what they love. Yeah, my body just forced it out of me. That's how long I spent. You've been taught? That's always embarrassing.

Yes, I've been caught too many times. Wait, really? Too many times? Oh, yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean? Yeah, for sure. Like, where are you?

Like, I've been busted and, like, I got busted. We were, like, dating, and I was in her apartment beating off and she called me. That's insane. We're in the apartment. I was in her bed. Hold on. She, like, ran out. I didn't think she'd be back.

Man, ma, ma, ma, ma, nah. I had the shower a couple months ago. Hold on. Slow, slow down here. You guys are just dating. You're in her bed. Is she also in the bed? No, I thought she was gone.

She, like, I had gone. I think we, like, were, like, loosely kind of living, I was staying there a lot. And she left, and I thought she's going to be gone for longer than she was. And I was just, like, sitting on the edge of her bed being on the edge, phone to face. And she even, like, she replicated it. And she came in, you're like, ugh. And I was like, don't ever fucking do that. There's no one of so.

Yeah, she's busted me. Hold this. So she walks in. Do you throw the phone and, like, cover yourself? No, I didn't hear her come in. Because she does like to, like, sneak up and scare me and shit. So she, like, slipped in quietly. I'm just on the edge of her bed, just watching fucking the hub beating off. And she was like, what are you doing? I was like, oh, oh. Put your way. Bust me. You just got to take it. Yeah, you got me. But now you're embarrassed with it just full rock. I was humiliated, bro. I was absolutely. I was completely bricked up. And, you know, so, yeah, she's got. She laughs. She's got me a couple times. She just thinks it's funny. I'm like, it's not funny. I'm like, it's not funny. I feel so humiliated.

Yeah, she can get me, man. She's light on her feet. She doesn't like that you watch the porn, huh? No. My wife doesn't like that either. What do you think that's about? I mean, I... Where does it come from?

I'm trying to... I guess maybe I'm just so detached from them actually being, like, human beings. They're not like real people to me. It's like a cartoon. It's like, I don't think they have like souls or anything. But maybe they think that we're like really attractive. reacted to these people?

Yeah, I think it's just like... Am I not enough, I think is... Yeah, sure. It's a million-dollar... And also, too, like... Like, imagine... I've said this before, because guys, like, especially back in the day,

it was like, oh, dude, like, lesbians hooking up porn. Like, imagine if your wife was watching, like, two dudes, like, slam each other. You'd be kind of like... Whoa. Yeah, what the fuck you're doing? Yeah, that'd be weird. And if your wife was watching the...

Like, yeah. Because if you caught your wife watching porn, you'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. I would bother the shit out of me. I'd be so upset but I still think I should be able to Don't be weird about it

I'm stonzing in favor of double standards The funny of jerk off related thing is Tributes, you have you heard of this? Yeah This is the funniest thing in the world to me Have you heard of how I was that? Tudds will do this And they'll post on like Twitter or Reddit And they'll basically print out a picture of like a hot girl

Like they'll print out like a picture of like Sidney Sweeney and then they'll jerk off onto like the paper Like black and white And then they'll post a picture and be like just did another one boys yeah posting's crazy and they share it with like their internal crazy these guys that just jerk off on paper it's so funny to me because it's a tribute to the girls to the girls yeah crazy existence sydney sweeney has it's so funny to be like oh yeah there's guys who print out pictures of me jerk off on them and then put them online every now again you'll see

a warrior that just jerked off on his MacBook air and you're like dude that's that's a that's a real machine Come on, dude. That's wild, dude. How did she become, like, such a player in the culture war? Hmm. I mean, yeah, but I guess even before the jeans thing, wasn't she kind of... Oh, because her mom's, like, her parents, I think, are pro-Trump. Maybe that.

I think she's... So now she's... It was, like, out of party, there was, like, a Trump flag behind her. Got it. She didn't... She didn't say her parents were a piece of shit on a political whim, and now she's... Yeah. She were, like, the hot girl who, like, doesn't think what I think.

I'm mad. Yeah. Because all the hot girls are, like, also have to have to have my... same politics. If I'm watching porn, I'm like, dude, she has to believe in health care. That gets fundamental. So evil, too, to be, like, denounce your parents for, like, the

2016 election. It's like, dude, it'll be over in two weeks. Yeah. They raised you. Yeah. Okay, that makes more sense now. Yeah, that was, like, the first, like, you know, rumor of it, and then, yeah, the jeans commercial came out. Oh, which is so fucking ridiculous. That was so fucking dumb.

Like, people... People already were mad, though. And then they saw some the feeling has to exist and then you just attach more and more things onto the feeling but now she's part of this conversation and she will be in perpetuity yeah you know some movie's going to come out there's going to be some line or the new season euphoria is going to have some lines oh what this really means is she's trying to interject politics into blah blah blah well dude i think they figured out too because remember like they figured out at one point maybe like the 90s we're like oh let's like show cool people in a commercial

and then we'll be like, I'm cool if I buy, that was like a big marketing hack they figured out a long time ago. Yeah, like they sort of figuring out like how to like, you know, or maybe like earlier, but like we'll show a beautiful person. Yeah. And then they'll associate like the desirability with that product. That was like a thing, like a psychology trick for marketing. They came out, let's just say a long time ago.

Yeah. And now I think they really know like if we can just get these people pissed. It doesn't matter what about who's mad or why. Oh, the marketing is the rage. Yeah, just get them furious. Yeah, just get them furious and then we'll sell more toothrocious. Oh, that's the Cracker Barrow thing. I just saw an article on Gism.

that's uh it was like mostly bot driven so this is fascinating did you see this 50% of the tweets about the cracker barrel like changing the logo were bots that sucks from where i don't know so it's it's one of these things where it's just like obviously we know it happens in music right yeah like so this is like pretty it's it's not pretty proven it is proven right that like they used to do the pay all with the radios where they pay them to play it which is like a version but then you're still playing the song, and people are still listening to it. This is like bots are listening to music.

So certain artists that we think are in a certain size really aren't at that size, right? So there's just like fake listening to there. But it gives the illusion that they're the number one or they got a huge record, blah, blah, blah. But the fact that this is also happening with like social trends and like you pump up a story,

so a cracker barrel thing goes crazy, then these like TikTok journalists see that something's trending on Twitter. So they make their video, reacting to the thing and then reaction channels react to these people and then

it becomes truth like something that's completely fabricated and astro-turfed becomes the reality it was this somebody said this so I don't want to take credit for it but like it's like there's the Fox News the New York Post pipeline I don't know if you've heard about this

like how you essentially like launder information into a real story and I'm sure the left does this as well but like it's like a op ed piece on fox news like this is what i think yeah then later the reporting from the news reports on the op-ed and then by the next morning it's on the front page of the post and it is truth oh yeah that's really weird it's like how much of that shit is happening yeah how much of that shit is happening on a regular basis like how how much of the things we're seeing are just some random person curating an idea of something and that being repeated

nonstop and algorithmic be fed to us until it just kind of becomes reality. Yeah, and then it's like people parroting it, it's not even about it being true, it's like, can I increase my like virtual self-worth through this? And it becomes this like, almost like a mold like growth. And the algorithm is going to reward

the more extreme opinions. Yeah, 100%. That was, yeah, that's, because there's been a bunch of weird political shit going on. It's like, you know, all this, a lot of the passion, my take on, like, a lot of this stuff is like, it's not even so much about the politics or anything. It's like, people, like almost like a bug attaching themselves and being like yes my follower accounts rising and it's like

it just makes me feel really weird man it's like oh 100% yeah and i wonder if they're able to like i wonder if they're able to reflect on their need for that attention like sometimes things feel good and you don't attach the feeling good to the behavior so for example like an actor starts dating another actor and they get all this publicity for that person and they want publicity, they want attention like that is part of the game. So they might think they really like that person

but in reality they like the outcome. Yeah, I didn't even think about that, yeah. But they might not be able to tell a difference. And that's what I'm saying. It might not be nefarious. It's worse. I don't know what's worse. I just, it's sad. It's sad and it's fucked up. But like, maybe they're not self-reflective enough to go like, I don't really like this person. I like the outcome of being with this person.

Yeah, that's true. There's probably people in the political space. They're like, they don't know that they're not a liberal. They just love attention. Or they don't know that they're not a conservative. Yeah. That's not the most important thing. They just love the feedback.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah. Yeah, you see people like making that their identity. And like, I wonder if they think, like, maybe it's so short-sighted that they're just, they're going like, oh, this is what's getting attention right now. And it's tough to get attention in this economy where there's content everywhere and people are eyeballs all over the place.

So they're doing a thing that's getting attention in the moment. And they think that that will be, like, their career marker, their designer. And they don't realize, like, in three months, nobody's going to care. Yeah, literally not at all. It's like, they're, like, you don't remember, you don't even remember, I think, like, some overwhelming percentage, like, 90-something percent of the things you were worried about. Three months later, you don't even remember, like, what they were. And it's, like, let alone news stories are later. Yeah, yeah.

I forget which comic has this joke, but he's like, the news is just gossip. Yeah. Like, it's just gossip. Like, it's just, like, did you hear that this guy in your town did this? And that's just like a headline And everyone's like, whoa A lot of people are saying this thing Yeah

You're like, what, really? I really don't consume the news that much And it's like, it doesn't Well, yeah, it doesn't matter It doesn't really affect you Because eventually someone will like, hey, do you hear about this? And you go, oh, I didn't hear about that what happened And they tell you

Yeah And you get to filter out all of the other stuff The Trees had a bit 10 years ago Before social media algorithms, whatever And he was like, the news is important Because it tells you what to care about It was really smart Because it's like all we care about

is what they tell us to care about and now it's TikTok bots potentially China just telling us oh this is the thing that matters and dividing us more and more. Yeah yeah and we were talking about this earlier but like before the pod but like that algorithm

you'll see four or five people talking about a thing and you'll believe that that thing is more important that it actually is because there's like an inescapability yeah yeah you know yeah well newspapers used to do this before like the algorithm stuff, like, you know, if there was like a

big car crash, that would get, you'd write up the story, and they'd go, man, they got a lot of coverage. So then other papers would be like, you know, let's cover this car. So, like, it would make it look like they're happening more and more, but they're just the same amount, but they're being reported on more because that fed some weird. They had with a train crash. Remember that? That train crash? And all of a sudden was like, dude, there's a train crashing every week. Yeah, and you look it up. It's like, they just happen

all the time, but nobody reports on it. Yeah. It's really weird. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense, right? Like, they're trying to sell Yeah, but you're going, dude, we're having a an episode of just why is it what's happening people start connecting all these dots

and it's like no man this is just what was happening yeah planes sometimes crash we had a lot we had all those plane crashes for a while

yeah nonstop and it was and then stop but we fixed it yeah we must have fixed it yeah we must have fixed it yeah Trump kept them in the air

somehow he came in it was like dude stay up there no there was a good six months where it felt like the Boeing's

were just falling out of the sky and it made itself into jokes did you notice that like a falling apart like a Boeing jet kind of became

a tag almost in comedic jokes. Like that's how I know something is really in the zeitgeist when it becomes like tag lines and comedy because we're really downstream. Like we're attached to culture but for it to be a punchline it has to be ubiquitous. Yeah, yeah. Like the audience has to be like really aware of this

thing. And yeah, wow. I don't know. I'm just like I'm just like really interested in like the information consumption and like how like how we're viewing the world and yeah, it's like it's kind of fucked up. up like what are my like I have these opinions about AOC right I don't even fucking know her I've never listened to a whole speech yeah I don't really know anything about her like and I have to like talk back opinions I have for sure and I'm like who gave me these like what did I consume what was served to me not even from people I follow like what did which is just thrown onto my phone that gave me this version of a human being that kind of like strip the humanity firmer yeah it's true

Yeah, if I see, if I even see that she's about to talk, there's a part of my brain like, what the fuck she's up? And, dude, like, I never met her before. I actually think that that's going to, like, if she was to run, I think that that would really negatively impact her chances because she has 100% face recognition, meaning 100% of, not 100%, but like a very high percentage of the people who vote in America

have a strong opinion about her already. Yeah. Obama came through on some, like, who the fuck is this guy? Yeah, yeah. So he got to, you got to form your opinion on it in real time. Based on his campaign, which is nice. It was really nice. I'm actually the man.

You're like, yeah, he is. Right. And I remember in the moment, being like, I remember I saw him like to a speech. I was like, oh, my God, that guy was amazed. Like, yeah, he should probably wait a little bit. So we learned a little bit more about him. Like, there was this idea like, oh, he was a junior senator or whatever like that. Wait a second.

And now I'm like, don't wait at all. Zora. Zora, like, just, wait, do you don't want them to know things about you? Yeah. Because the things they know about. about you aren't even who are. It's what people say about you. And it gives them time to find a thing to make a story.

Yeah, true. You've got to come out of nowhere. That's kind of crazy to think about it. I didn't know because Trump we knew, Biden, we knew. But to your point, Zoran, we just, he just came in like a force. And it's like, we're talking about this earlier, but it's like, even with Zorn, it's like, there are multiple versions of who this guy is.

Like, and none of them are who he actually is. Yeah. Right? It's like there are these, like, flattened two-d versions of him. So, like, he's either a fucking communist, He's an anti-Semite, or he's, like, a liberator, and he's going to help the people of New York City. And, like, people believe. Yeah. One of the three, yeah.

Yeah, he's a rapper from Uganda. That's another version. That's who he really is. Like, yeah, he's a rap, and he grew up in Uganda. What? Yeah. He's a Ghana's rapper? Yeah.

I didn't know that. He's like Burnaboy, dude. How was he's good? I mean, the rest are decent. I don't know. I haven't listened to that shit. It doesn't fit in the reality. But you guys don't whip the accent from there.

What? Yeah. on Dave's dress. No, he does. How long has he been in office for here? He hasn't won yet. Oh, he hasn't won already. Even he won the primary.

He won the primary. So he basically won. Derek Adams dropped out of the general trying to get him to lose because I think him and Cuomore eating off each other. So we'll see what happens. But there's a perfect example.

It's like, this is not on your fucking radar because it doesn't need to be on your fucking radar. Like, you don't live in New York City. But like, in New York City, you have all these like billionaires who are freaking out because they're going have to pay two percent more in taxes or whatever and they're just like we got to find a way to get this god god forbid i have two percent less of the money i already don't pay in taxes whatever i mean

there are other problems i could see with it whatever but like is it that big of a deal it's not going to affect your life i'm all about the experiment i'm like dude we're this country's an experiment tossing an experiment like you know and again if i don't have to live in the city even better let's see how it works maybe it works i don't know if it doesn't then you'll go yeah we did we try And it's pie on his face. Yeah. Like, that's one thing I would ask him. Like, what if it doesn't work?

And, like, it's actually really negative. Like, how will you feel about, how would you feel about? Like, not as, like, a gotcha, but more as, like, would you, like, feel horrible that, like, people ended up being in a worse position. And, like, I wonder if. Are you comfortable with that risk? Are you taking some. Yeah. Like, I wonder if politics didn't think about that shit.

Like, what are the, do they not at all? I think now at the end was like, fuck, dude. I really. I was a lot of. There's a lot of dead agents. That's why he had shown himself. You know what? Not the move, actually.

Did he commit suicide? Yeah, he killed himself, didn't he? Really? That's the story. That's the story. I'm sure. I think he was... I allegedly, so I don't get in trouble.

Yeah, you can't be coming into with that story. Where's the body, though? Like an alternative reality over here. Yeah. He's in Argentina right now. I feel like you could have snuck him out of there easily. I mean, you know, probably, honestly. Yeah, it's...

I feel like we're just, though, coming to grips with it, the fact that, like, because it like, you know, COVID especially, like it, that whole, like, just the narrative and feeling around COVID, like, tore families apart just from, like, how you perceived it. And I think, I'm hoping younger kids are able to, like, see it and be like, oh, okay. They get more kind of aware of, like, this is what's, because I was, like, aware enough to read the news when I was in college and be like, yeah, but there's interest behind the news. I remember I was on a construction site and, like, this guy was, like, reading the paper, and he's like, dude, I can't believe blah, blah, blah, blah.

He's freaking out about an article. I'm like, yeah, but you know, like, that's because people have interests and they promote certain ideas. And, like, the guy was just looking at me like, no, this is reality. What are you talking about? Yeah, you're running a good time. Yeah, and I had to be like, oh, shit, there's people that don't understand, like, literally, like, critical thinking to be like, well, this is how this works. They're just like, no, this is it. This is, that's the words.

And that's what they said happened. And that's what the fuck are you talking about. That's, that's literally all of us. Yeah, that's what I think we're figuring out now. About something. Yeah. Like, the things, like, that are absurd, we'll look at and laugh at. And then there are certain things that I won't question at all.

And someone would look at me and be like, that's ridiculous. How could you not question that? You know, like, it's a, it's like any time talking to, like, a conservative buddy who's like, yeah, which is too much government, you know, over, he's too much government influence on things that we need to reduce government, like, just let business do its thing. And I'm like, you know Kellogg's will put poison in the cereal. Yeah. They'll do it, right?

They did it, and that's why we got the Don't Put the Poison in the Cereal Commission. Like, it didn't start as the Don't Put the Poison in a Serial. Someone put it in. Yeah. Right? Exactly, yeah. And then we're like, okay, fuck, we got to make a government company here to stop them from doing it. Do you think North Korea feels bad for us?

Like, I wonder if North Koreans like, dude, you guys don't know what to believe? Everyone believes different things. They're over there doing, being like, dude, we all believe the same thing. hungry, it would be the life. Because it's club med. Maybe they're not. Maybe they're living it up. Maybe they are. And our government's like, no, this shit sucks over there.

No, they might be living out. You ever hear about the shit balloons they send to South Korea? South Koreans have been sending them like, you know, like cool technology over to North Korea. Like, hey, guys, by the way, there's a whole other world. And North Koreans have been, I guess the government's been responding with their own balloons. They're just with shit. They just send shit balloons that just fall out of the sky. They're just a fucking turd from what a great government job.

I need you to shit in this balloon. He's like, I'm going to need to eat for that. No, you don't. Figure it out. Or it's like a basket being carried by a bunch of balloons and eventually they pop and just a turn. Wow. They're like volcano bags.

It's filled with fucking shit. Wow. Yeah, man. I mean, that's wild. That's pretty. But on this specific issue, I think they might be happier. Just on this specific part. Yeah, it actually.

On the information. part. It makes me question all this shit because it's like okay so we have this idea we live in those like free society where there's all this information and then but like 10 years ago we would have never questioned like what the New York Times wrote or like what you know CNN or Fox News or I think and then we live in this age where we're like oh maybe mainstream media isn't exactly telling you the truth and it's like what if a TikToker posts it then it must be

fucking real right so it's like we've shifted our trust to people who are arguably less trustworthy yeah like just some random person on the internet that's doing like a video where like he's imposed in front of a picture no that's just convincing though bro I know green screen capability yeah I mean like there's technology involved

especially if you're walking to a news station you're like oh Jesus Christ it looks like so cheap you're like this is where all the official this is how we decide to go to war in Iraq yeah I do it like that's fucking eater a play theater yeah it really what I think honestly

is like we'll eventually I eventually realized that, you know, there's, we're not going to, like, there's not, like, any brand of logic or thinking that's going to ultimately conquer, you know, like, reality or life in a way that's going to deliver us to some, like, better, you know what I mean? Like, Republican way is not going to do it. Democrat way is not going to do it. Yeah. There's been, like, a huge push in philosophy from, like, I don't know, the 1500s on, we're like, dudes out of nowhere. Because they used to believe in, like, fucking, like, vampires and demons and evil times. And then at one point, these guys started being, like, you know, if we just use pure reason, we can. like figure all of this stuff out and they tried that for you know till now and it's just it's not

working so it's like because people aren't built an atom bomb and then you know the computers but it's like if i really think if people just start like chilling on the political stuff and be like let me just try to be nice i'll read what i read that's fine but i'm going to try to be as nice as possible like you tend to your own garden yeah yeah exactly it's like a good father be a good a lot of y'all screaming about political stuff your family hates you they hate you Dude, it's... You're shouting so-and-so down for X, Y, Z. Your son hates you.

Yeah. Yeah, it's just, it's a complete distraction. It's like, dude, you know... But it seems to everything, though. Like, the worst is with parenting shit. Like, my girl will send me a TikTok. She's like, yeah, dude, the son is bad. Oh, dude.

And I'm like, well, did you get to the end of the video? Because I think at the end, they try to sell you something. And in all these parenting videos, it would be a mom. Like, what's up, mommy's, the son is evil. It will kill your kid. Also, I'm selling baby sunscreen. And it's at the end. And I'm like, you got to see it.

If they're selling it, you don't have to listen to it. And there's a chance that person's literally AI. Yeah. I got tricked. I got, look, no one's perfect. I got tricked recently. I bought a copper water bottle. The doctor being like, if you have your water and copper, it charges it.

Yeah. They finally sent it from China. It was stainless steel. On the box, it said material type stainless steel. And I took a magnet to test it because copper, it's like it won't, it doesn't hold a magnet. The copper thing is an Ayurvedic thing. Is it really? Water out of copper, yeah.

So it turns that is true. I just got to Google or even verified it. So I was like, I'm in the cleveland. And then like, but it was like, I think it was a fake AI doctor. And they just sent me some fucking stainless steel thing. If you even hook me up, bro. I got a cop, I got it caught. I got to try and get caught with that on TikTok with bonsai.

I was getting into bonsai. And I would watch like just endless bonsai videos. And I was like, I think I'm going to fucking buy one. This is when I knew he was in a bad place emotionally. I had a bonzai tree die in my basement. Wait, why would you put it in the basement? It was a weed place. Hold on a second.

Wait, when did you get into Bondi? Shane bought me a bonsai tree like a couple years ago and I had already been like blabber into my wife like I'm gonna get in a bonsai garden down here I'm gonna put the youth because outside you can't really control the environment You have to be it's a

So that's one of the basement Yeah and I uh it was doing all right And I was like I'm gonna put it outside So the leaves change What type of what I hate it? Do you remember what the tree was? I had a elm Some sort of elm yeah yeah yeah yeah dude I was so sad to die Yeah it's awesome how to die

I was taking care of Were you wider? I put it outside Were you doing the wild No, no, no, I had it. He got me the bonsai, and then I was trying to, like, just grow it and, like, just control it and trip. Yes, it got shot by it. So I didn't, you were growing up doing it from, like, seed, basically? No, no, no, no, I didn't even buy one.

I was just watching, like, in this videos about it. I'm like, I want to kind of get into this. I don't know what was going on emotionally, but something that I needed control. You know, because that's really what bonsai is. It's like, I'll make this tree go where I want it. Yeah. I'm going to be so much bigger compared to you. It looks big, but it's small.

like that's the whole concept it looks old but it's tiny they look awesome those videos are so fucking cool and the guys that are into it it's like i know i know i know but you're eventually gonna go through it and then you're gonna get hit by the algorithm by a fucking bonsai video and you're gonna text me you go i understand i look forward to that actually wait but how did you get dude by it though this seems all i almost bought it because i was like i'm gonna buy one it looked amazing and then the comments popped up and they were like did it it was horrible doesn't look anything like this And it was a guy who was me, but like two weeks ago. And I was like, oh, few, thanks, bro.

Like, I almost would have to reach out personally. Like, he came back to the video. Wow. It was like fucking. Yeah, he's like, you're not going to get more people. Wow. This is now. Yeah.

Do you garden at all? No. No. Do you guys garden? No. Tell me, tell me. I have a garden that I've, uh, other people guard. Dude, if you had the body.

I'm big into landscaping. Like, I, me, I love it. If you had the bonsai it, you start a garden is really nice. But you're actually curating the garden? Yeah, I just plant the stuff. I like, like, I go in a, I grew, like, a little bit of food. I have, like, a tiny space to do it, but I grew a little bit of food. Then you start learning about, like, I have a flower bed that I, like, plant different flowers and stuff.

And it's just, man, it's amazing. It is. Gardening's really, really nice. I have a Sego palm now. It's just like a house plant, but it was around since the dinosaurs. Sego palm, it's not really a palm. It's a psychad or something, and they've been around since the dinosaurs. Miles knows all this shit.

Oh, shit. I don't know. I found that out. They're really poisonous for dogs. You've got to be careful. But, dude, I've been, like, just spurred on my wife. I mean, just purged on my wife. You know that's been around since the dinosaurs, right?

She's just like, I don't fucking care. I tell you something about this. I've been in Australia shooting this movie for the last two months, okay? A week ago, I'm with my wife, and we're watching a movie on her, on the laptop, and a message comes up on a laptop. And it says, Aviva dog sitter. And I literally turned my wife and I was like, oh, we got a dog. I forgot we had a dog.

I don't know what that says about me. I don't know if it's because I have a child now or something. But like I literally I saw dog sitter. My first reaction was like, the fuck is a dog sitter texting? Like I thought she was cheating or something. Pizza Hut or whatever But I forgot Because then you got to call home

You're like, oh shit, you're here Yeah That's kind of nice, you know? Oh my God What kind of dog you have? Golden Doodle. Oh, man. This is what nobody warns you about

With the doodle mix is The high energy also, super high energy And if it's big and hyper To buy them to maintain them They're just like Big and high energy is a lot Our dog is a half poodle But he's eight pounds

I mean he gets high energy It's like adorable Yeah, a little annoying But when they're 80 pounds and you got a one-year-old kid, it's a different eye energy. I kind of his dog is a bonsai. He jumped on my dog's back. My dog used to like his dog, and now he hates it. She almost killed him, dude.

It's a she. My dog's a she. I forgot that until right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. It is a she. A couple ladies at home. I forgot about this dog.

What's up, Miles? I have a question if we can. When you were doing this radio play, stuff. I love radio plays. I think they're really cool. I tried to write one once. You weren't horny enough. That wasn't. What was it about? It was a podcast

murder mystery. Oh, nice. Cool. Yeah. Did you ever look at... That's crazy. The boss. Well, what is it? Get this man a race. What happened? Before you get murdered. Oh, shit. I didn't even put that

together. Something about the dog. We got a podcast. Oh, no. What? Honestly, when you said that, I thought you'd been like a podcast murder mystery. I thought that you were just replacing radio show with podcasts. No, no, no, no, no.

But like you're saying, a murder takes place on a podcast. Who'd done it? And the host is dead. This kid is really abused by his boss. No, watch him, man. Watch him. Watch him. Did you ever look into, like, how Orson Wells did the War of the World's one?

Did you ever look at it? That's the alien one, right? The alien one. That's what they... I've heard of it. I never listened to it. It's an awesome listen. It's also a very fun, like, basically in the late 30s,

Orson Wells puts out a radio play and didn't really do a lot of placements in it where he's like, hey, this is a radio play. So people are listening to the radio thinking it's news, and it's a war of the world's aliens are invading across America. They're tuning in to different live people across America. L.A. is getting attacked, New York, whatever. Oh, this is when people actually believed it was the aliens. Yeah, and we're like, Steve in Times Square, what are you seeing, Steve?

And he's like, there's a ship above me. It's coming down. But do you actually, like, do you believe that people really felt that way? Well, this is a fun thing about, like, the whole media narrative you're talking about. Yeah, like, nobody actually believed it. Dude, my mom's aunt watched Apollo 11. My mom called my aunt, her aunt one time. Her aunt was from Ireland.

She was living in the States. And my mom was like, hey, Anilina, how you doing? And she was like, oh, I just feel so bad for those poor astronauts are stuck in space. My mom's like, what are you talking about? She's like, they're on right now. It was just the movie of Apollo 11. She thought that some dude was stuck in. 13? She thought

the dude was really stuck in space. She was, like, freaking out with my mom. She was praying for them. She was saying a rosary for this guy. There's just a movie she thought of it. And then she sees Tom Hanks in another movie. She's like, dude, he made it back. It's amazing. It read across America. It might have been a real dimension.

It could have been early dementia. So there weren't people that thought it was real. Yeah, we got a dude by AI. Nobody thought it was real. Come on, bro. We can't. I guarantee it, dude. He bought a copper water bottle, bro. Five people thought it was real. But the way that they told his story. like everybody was out in the streets like the aliens are coming this is the fun why

newspapers the next day put out a bunch of things were like this was a mishap and because newspaper is getting eclipsed by radio so they wanted radio to be bad and put more uh regulation regulation on radio so i was right yeah but there were people that did freak out but it's but this is sort of do your news media yeah i got to give them some i got to give them some stakes for this radio podcast okay but i'm just saying was i right or was i not right Yeah, you're right I'm rarely wrong about these things I was worried about Ben Carson

What about Ben Carson? You know that motherfucker didn't do shit? Yeah, the heart doctor guy? No, the Siamese twins But he had a Siamese twin? No The black Republican guy, right? Yeah, he cut them apart.

He was one of the greatest surgeons in the world. That's what they say, but in reality he just sliced them in half and they died a week later. What? Yeah, so he's not good. And I was like, of course, obviously. But they normally die in one day, lived seven more days.

Pretty good. Wait, they die? Why do you cut them in half then if they die? Why don't you just let them be... I think they were separated at the head like that. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

And it was hard for one of the balance. Yeah, true. That makes sense. Also, you got your brother nutting all over you when you're upset. Yeah. Is it raining? Yeah, the whole thing. That's so difficult, man.

Yeah, having your kids, just two kids with their heads lump together. Yeah. Be hard. Two kids with their heads separate is very difficult. I know. Yeah. Stuck together. You're like, man, that's fuck.

You'd have to, like, V out of bed, too bad. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Dude, attached at the head is crazy. Like, I mean, like, here. Not, not here. I'm pretty sure it was like here. But he tried his best,

and he's mad at him for trying his best. No, I'm not mad at him trying his best, but I'm just like, this is, yeah, he's just, we're astroturfing this. But then he also did some hard stuff that was fire. What he did was hard. He did, like, the first, like, heart transplant or something. I didn't read his book,

I cash did, but. You read his book? Yeah, I read his book. Holy hands or whatever? Gifted hands. Yeah, yeah. I read it like 15 years ago. My cousin told me it was a basketball book.

Yeah. This is before he got political. This is legit, probably like 20 years ago. My cousin was entering med school, read the book, and was like, this is a great book. You're going to read it. It's quick. Nice. Oh, okay.

It was quick. He was like, yeah. What do you do? What do you do? That was good. He just came from like humble beginnings, and then he doesn't tell you the, I don't think he says the kids died seven years later. He talked about all the prep that went into it.

all that stuff. Again, it's a fairly forgettable read, but you walk away being like, well, this guy's a nice surgeon. Nice at that shit. Yeah, there's two.

Nurosurgery on a baby in the womb. There you go. First neurosurgery on a baby in the womb. Wow. How did you get in there? Yeah.

I'll pull up a knife, right? Double fisted. See, you've got to look into these doctors, man. It's also a good surgery because you don't know what the before is. You know what the before is? You know what?

So the baby comes out He's kind of dumb He's like, nah, but he was always dumb He was gonna be dumber Yeah, think about that That was tough When he took the stage I don't think they were ready

For how big of a nerd He was gonna be politically When he took the political stage He was such a nerd Yeah I think you know Because the Republicans And he was gonna be

Republican Obama Yeah, exactly They need a cool black guy And they were like The old white guys Were like just you wait And see what we got You remember that?

You remember when they did that with Bobby Jindle? Do you remember that? Buesch they brought him out and it was just like, what the fuck are we listening to? Wait, who was that? Bobby Jindal. He was like after Obama's second election, I think, everyone re-election, they brought him out to respond to Obama's State of the Union or something. His name was Buech Jindel, but he went by Bobby. He converted to Christianity.

He was from Louisiana, had this wild-ass accent. I remember this guy. And it was just a brutal, like, everybody, Indians hated him. and white people were like what the fuck is this thing it was a real nightmare they're just trying to check them out they're trying stuff out

yeah exactly you guys just throw stuff with the wall a little bit you know olive oil you know just try to get it happens you know give it a spin

dude nothing wrong with that wait before you I know you have a hard out before you go there's a great clip of you just ripping just shredding on a guitar we saw that clip

Mark Agnon brought a guitar what Oh, would you play for us a little bit? I could play a little bit. That'd be nice. I mean, it was awesome. Yeah, I've been playing since high school, but I've never, I didn't really learn how to, like, read music or anything,

but I kind of, like, my brother's really good, so he kind of showed me the chords and stuff. I have a question about guitar. Piano, like, I understand. I understand, like, the organization of it. With guitar, like, would you say, like, you fluently understand the instrument? Not fluently, but I know where, like,

a lot of the main chords and notes are. and you just memorize them up and down the string. So, like, piano's nice because it's laid out. Yeah, it's very simple, but I feel like I can play things on the piano that I can't play, but I can kind of sound them out and I can... Yeah, you can find your way around. I do not feel that way, and I took, like, guitar lessons about Zara, but I've never felt that with guitar.

So can you... Yeah, I can... I mean, you know, like, the basic chords. Like, this is E. Right. This is, like, a core... So this is the A, so you just kind of... It's like E, F, F sharp, G, G sharp, A.

So you just kind of like, use your barcords. You kind of like find your root note, and then you can like, so if this is E, the scale's going to be around the chord, and then it kind of goes all up and down. What does that mean the scale is going to be around the chord? So like this is A, right? Yeah. That you can start in like the pentatonic around this chord shape and just kind of go like. Oh, all of what you're playing is A in that when you're,

individually picking it yeah and that's the minor so if I'm an A I can even shift back here and play a major sounding and then come back into a minor that makes something major or minor just the sound like this is a minor's like kind of sad sounding minor's like kind of sad sounding I'm a little nervous, but it's so hard to play on this spot. Oh, hell, yeah. Fired. Takes away, my boy.

I just, like, mess around in my office. So is this you riffing? This is, like, this is not a specific song you're playing. No, just, like, jazz almost. So you can learn out and kind of go, like, A little Stevie Ray Vaughan? Yeah, a little song. I was like that.

You play the different chords. Can you play some bad bunny long as me? Can you play some bad bunny? No, I have no idea. Do you play for your lady? I don't really play for her. I'll just kind of, she'll usually be like, stop. So I'll be saying, ignoring her and the kids.

So, like, if you learn, like, this is like, so if I'm in A, you can sit here and then you go to, like, the one four or five is a pattern. If you want to play the blues, you literally just go like, so you can stay here and go. Go to the next one. And you're back to the thing. And how many different chords are you playing in that? Just three. And where you play the chord on the... What is this called?

The fretboard. Like where you play, does it affect the... the chord itself or is the arrangement of your fingers always the same chord no matter no so like this is an a here then you can play the other like these are like the cowboy chords up here this is also an a because it's your a root note and you go that's so that's the same chord yeah but this gives you more like versatility so you can go like the other is a bar chord because you're holding the whole oh this then you can go oh yeah you know what I mean so it's like you know what you know what you can play the minor it's like

What about using your thumb? Is that a controversial? Yeah, they say not too, but if you want to play a like, so if I want to solo and play, I can go. So you're in like a, I'm doing like an abbreviated version of this, but you can kind of play it. I haven't understood a single thing you said, but it sounded awesome. I feel like if you knew this while you were getting robbed, it would have really helped.

You're just like, let's just all take a breath. It's nice to talk, too. Oh, thank you. I'm a Yamaha myself. But, yeah, you know, just while away the hour. It's kind of nice. Do you know what we can sing along to? Oh, yeah.

What song would you know that you can sing along to? I can maybe find it. Just anything, just something that just kind of symbolizes the power of Yeah. Oh, hell, yeah. Early in the morning, rising to the street, light me up that cigarette and I'll strap shoes on my feet. Got to find a reason, reason things went wrong, got to find a reason why my reason why my money. my money's all gone

I got a Dalmatian I can still get high I can play the guitar like a motherfucking riot I can't I used to know the solo I forget

it way Netflix makes sure you check out Netflix special October 7 obviously listen to Matt and Shane's secret podcast and look out for the radio play coming in the near future and books and many other creative endeavors thank you thank you so much for taking awesome you're awesome you guys rule bro thank you guys cheers man thank you