Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Mo Amer on American vs Arabic Culture, DJ Khaled Beef, & Palestinian Pride

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

YERRR – the boys linked up with Mo Amer, and this one’s got jokes, depth, and hot takes. From growing up in Kuwait to Netflix stardom and moving to a tax-free country, Mo breaks down the journey, the identity, and the chaos. All that and more on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 Intro 0:56 Mo trying to get comfy 1:25 Netflix special + Moving to tax free country 3:38 The South is the Middle East 4:38 Growing up in Kuwait + Mom’s gangster 7:29 Not too late for DJ Khaled 9:28 US caring + Staying true 11:28 Sand-nword + Houston’s diversity 15:21 Riyadh Festival reaction was racism 25:38 “Mo”, White wife + No Compulsion in Religion 33:01 Italians learnt to cook from Arabs 39:24 Cooking videos ruined India + Colonialism 44:14 Adam & Eve, ICE is awful + Cultural exchange 48:51 Mo’s favorite White thing + Top 3 White cities 52:25 Brother, eugh + Arab prank videos 58:23 Being Muslim + Power of Hajj/Umrah 1:11:24 Importance of Jerusalem + Profound 1:13:55 Palestine, Moving US was the best + Success 1:16:59 Returning to family village + Comedy being a unifier 1:19:31 Complex relationship with US 1:26:12 Hummus Taste Test This episode is sponsored by Kalshi. This episode is sponsored by Sesh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

God forbid you take my citizenship and I have to move to a tax-free country. You know, how close you were just moving? Everybody, close. You got to come to India, man. I'm not doing it. We got to go to the Dung Festival. What's a Dung Festival? No, no, there's not.

Really? You don't want to go to the Dung Festival? A pink guy for everybody. What were they? Who were they? That's a good question. Maybe white people can tell us that. Christians.

They're a Christian. They're a Muslim. Adam might have been Indian, bro. Because he was made from mud. All right, it's good, guys. This looks like the front of a mosque right here. Oh, that's why we do. There's a detention center right behind it.

That's so fucking dumb. Genuinely, what's happening with ICE is really fucking diabolical. It is. So fucked up. And who's going to finish your roof? I get the podcast now. I get it. Yeah.

He's a. Let me tell you something. I want to pick out podcast, like podcast couch. You're comfortable You're for you Now Let me get Let me give me some Middle East

No No no no No no Let me I'm going to switch I'm not going to switch I'm not I'm not

Let's get it's weird No it's not Let me see Maybe it's not Maybe it's not That good though We're good We got this

What's up everybody Welcome to Flager And today we are here With our boy Mo Ammer New Neff Netflix special out, Wild World, go check it right now, talking cash shit right up top. Let's go.

Okay? About the world's most famous Palestinian. Is he? I don't even know. No, I'm just kidding. Every time I say something like, is he Palestinian? We didn't even know he's Palestinian. Why didn't think he hasn't spoken at all?

I don't know. It's a question that's more geared toward him than me, I think. But I hate to speculate. Do you not talk with him? I mean, Akash's word is Kaffia? We've been It's trying to make you feel comfortable You're still supporting here, okay?

I'm so glad they wear black and white today Usually I always wear black and white It would have been really wild if we both Yeah, you know ICE is out here When you wear the fucking Canadian tuxedo I'm sure and show them that I belong You're a citizen now, bro You got a passport?

I have, yeah, I do Nobody can tell you shit Well, they can actually They can take it away, actually They can just do whatever they want Damn. Well, no, not more. We need Mo.

We need Mo. No, no, you can't take my citizenship. We need Mo. Please don't. Okay? I have a son. God forbid you take my citizenship and I have to move to a tax-free country. Like, God forbid.

You know, how close you were just moving in before? I be honest. When you pay taxes every year. It's like, uh-huh. Set up the PO marks, bro. We're a school shooting. And I'm like, we can't raise my son. You can't do this.

It's not like it used to be. We got to make moves, baby. You just got to wait 15 seconds for the next one. It's really sad, though. That is, it is like... When you throw fucked up, bro. He tried to downshift, he said,

Yeah, ha, ha, yeah. It's really sad. No, after the joke, no, do the Netflix thing. After the joke, no, after the joke, you get to settle in and feel how fucked up everything is. You have to say it out loud.

Are you talking about the school shootings or taxation? Both. Both. Okay, both. Because you're from Houston, so you're from Houston, so you shouldn't be complaining about this shit.

No, I'm not. I'm not complaining, bro. Because out here, you know, it's wild. It's much, much worse. Yeah, I heard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never left Texas. We won't leave Texas.

Never. I'm a Texan. What's the most... You've been all over America. What's the most Middle Eastern part of America without them realizing it is? By them realizing it? Yeah, like, where's, like, the white people in America?

Not where are the most Middle Eastern people? Where are the most white people who act Middle Eastern? But they don't even realize it. Like, you... Basically, the entire South. So the South is way more Middle East. Absolutely, bro. God, country, family.

This is why I get along with my neighbor. Scott, how are you down? You know, like, you feel that shit. You're there for each other when shit goes down. Like, they're very... They feed the fuck out of you. Yeah, they feed the fuck out of you. I've rolled up on my neighbor for it.

He's like, just gutting a deer. I'm like, what are you doing? He was like, it's pretty self-explanatory, mom. The goddamn deer, you know what I mean? And he's just like making deer sausage. I don't know. It just feels just,

It just reminds me in my childhood, you know? Right. It does, because I think I, I think it was like six or seven years old the first time I saw an animal being good. This is in Kuwait? This was in Kuwait, yeah. Okay, so you're born and raised in Kuwait for a few years at least? Like nine years?

Yeah, nine years old. And then the Gulf War happens, and I was saying, goes into Kuwait. I ended up in Houston, Texas. You guys dipped? We dipped. We stayed for the, well, I stayed with my sister, my family, for like the first two and half months and then my mom got myself and my sister out of there and then we ended up in Houston now is this a real story I heard this story about your mom's sewing money into the

suitcases yeah I put it in season one of my show it's absolutely but that's from real life absolutely true she so she actually she sewed it in the lining of her purse and so I was just remembering just watching my mom like who is this human being it's like you don't know you your parents are until like something like this happened yeah like you don't know if They're good under pressure or horrible under pressure. My parents were unbelievable under pressure. Yeah. And it's like the first time you see them so uneasy when everything has been so wonderful up until then.

And you just see her like turn it on. And yeah, she sews it in the lining of the purse. And she was getting my sister and I have. The whole plan was, I'm going to get my sister and get, you know, my sister and I out of there. She was going to come back to Kuwait, finish out everything else, and then meet us in the States. That was the whole idea. And so on the way to Jordan, we had to stop in Baghdad and they were searching all the all the suitcases because they were finding any valuables that would just take them or tax you or whatever, you know, you got to pay a fee, you know what I mean? So that's what the thing was.

So my, so my mom stayed on the bus actually and she like, because she had a little bit of money left over and she just didn't know where else to put it. So she just like hit it under clothes. Right. Well, they were just throwing the clothes out of the suitcase. She was like, oh my God. So she told my sister and I to get off the bus and while they were searching everything

the soldier sees my mom never got off of there but while she was on the bus by herself she messed up all the clothes she had some like orange peels from from the drive so she just poured all the trash all over it and then the soldier comes up on there starts yelling at her

the sergeant sees him yelling at a woman he gets pissed off at him he jumps on the bus he's like what's wrong with you you know look at her suitcase it's obviously been searched already so orange peels everywhere just look at her

Such a good distraction. Such a good thing. She goes, look at her face. That's not a face of a liar. He goes, apologize to her. And we left him. My mom fucking pulled that off and they were most stressful circumstances.

I thought we're toast. I heard that after. There's just a snippet of it. No, no, I want to get it to all of it. But I heard after season one came out, they executed that soldier. No. That's true.

He probably died of natural causes. He was like, he was probably 16. Oh, God, bro. I hope this. reached out to him? We got to reach out to him. I don't know how to get a hold of him. I was nine years old. Good old orange peel, man. This is how we're going to kick this all. Yo, this is how we're kicking it up. I want to talk about DJ Callig.

He's never seen orange peels. Yeah, he's never seen it. I heard he just eats it whole. He's like a hippopotam. He thought it was just an apple. It was the same thing. It's just like, you know. Living life. Yeah, yeah. There's nothing really to say about him, to be honest with you.

It was more so I opened the special that. way. And even like I'm saying this now, you're not going to see it coming. It's really just a dope opening to something that I've never seen in a stand-up special before. So I wanted to like do it that way. But yeah, it's just like I was kind of like the idea is that over the last two years of writing a TV show of the only Palestinian television show in the history of American television and feeling all the stress of that. And then at the same time, you're kind of seeing what everybody else is saying and what they're doing and what's going on. As comedians, that's what we do. the thing out loud that everybody's thinking

but nobody's saying. So when I do that and I've done that, you know, that opening line in like 30 countries. They go crazy. They fucking lose their mind. Yeah. Lose. Yeah. Yeah. Finally somebody said it. You know what I mean?

Is there a part of you that like when you see that opening line just crushing so hard, is there a little part of you it's like, I hope that motherfucker doesn't come on board now? You can't take away my opener. As a matter of fact, It is a lifeline.

But it's intended to be a lifeline. Like, yes, it's... It's not too late. Oh, it's never too late. No, it is. It is from a lot of people's minds, for sure. It is too late because it's going to look fake no matter what, right? Yeah.

But it's like the opening line, and then there is the ending of the special where I do this time bit. It's like a poem, you know, slash comedy bit slash, you know, trying to encapsulate everything that's been going on in the last two years. And in that portion, I do. you know, it's like, hey, it's never too late kind of thing. It's never too late. There's a chance for him to do something about it.

Is it wild to see like American, like in your lifetime? Is it wild to see Americans start to care about the struggle? Yes, yes. Like, what is that like? Do you feel, is it confusing almost to see it? No, it's more like about time. Of course that feeling is there. Because it's like I've been talking about it for so long and there's been a massive struggle

for me in the business itself. And all the hurdles that I've had of telling me, like, change your name, go to L.A. Don't tell me your Palestinian. I'm like, well, what's going on? Like, why do I have to do that? Like, I just never really understood that fully. I got it, but I didn't understand it fully, to be honest with you.

What made you stay true? It's impossible. What am I going to? I can't pretend to be something else. Stand up is the essence of stand-up as being yourself on stage. And it takes years of practice to be yourself on stage. And just shifting that, you know, you'll be something else. I mean, you could think of an example, probably.

Yeah. Who? Who, who, who? Carlos Mucin. His name is Matt Holtz. I don't want to start that shit. You were sending up for something. I was wrong with you.

I was what you were saying, to be honest with you. I'm like, come on. Come on, Andrew. You know, the thing about Carlos, though, is that he looks so Mexican. Yes, yes, Honduran German. He got treated. Whatever races and Mexicans get, he probably caught that. Yeah, like, if you look it.

Yeah, no, for sure, for sure. I'm saying, like, it would be a part of my sense. Are you even black? You can't tell? Boy, yeah. That's fucked though. You can't tell. I'm not going to stay for this, man.

Well, hold on now. Black people can speak up here. What percentage are you? I'm 50% black. Okay, so you get to say it. You get to say it. You get to say it. What?

I can say you for real, bro. It's a declaration. You can say what? You can say that word that he says when no cameras are rolling. Can I tell you? I've been called that word with sand in front of the past.

It's a powerful. It's so powerful that word. When you first heard the sand version, what did that feel like? It was 9-11. It was like, I've been in the country like 10 years.

I didn't even know this slur even exists. 9-11 as far as some fire racism. Some real fire races. Can we admit that? You didn't have any until 9-11? No, in Houston it was like, yeah, of course. They thought it was Carlos-Mese.

They thought he was Carlsonson. Fuck you. And we're talking about Houston, by the way, he says the N-Words. It's the most, it's the most, I don't know. It's the most diverse city in America, legit, 100%. It is the most diverse city. And they love to tell you that. Yes, it is.

And they love telling you that. It's a fact. There's a lot of Houston, bro. It's a fact, and they love telling you that after they say the N-word. That's their justification. Yeah, yeah. No, I heard that New York is the most diverse. Where did you hear that?

Feel free to just make up whatever you want. I'm just saying. And we're going off. Do you like going off a numbers? Forbes magazine, which is never wrong. It's the most diversity in America. Forbes said that shit. But in New York, like, we don't fill out the census, so nobody.

It's only white people fill out. Same. You think people are fill out census than Houston? I think they tripping. Yo, Rhode Island. My bad, I missed you guys last time. But we're coming back. Okay? We're coming back.

Providence, Rhode Island, March 28th. This is the only show that I have on schedule right now. Providence Performing Arts Center. Great comedy festival they got going on out there. I'll be honest. This might be their first year. I'm not exactly sure, but we're going to be there. We'll see you out there.

March 28th, Theandrasouls.com for ticks. Peace. Also, guys, tour dates is only one I care about right now. This is a literal dream come true. Radio fucking City. Music Hall. Thank everybody. How do you watch this podcast?

Thank all of y'all. I love you guys. April 18th. We're pulling up. Sell that shit out. Let's go. I promise you it's going to be the best show I've ever done. Hopefully the best show you've ever been to.

Akash sing. Dot com for tickets. Pre-sale is live. Now use the code Akash. I love y'all. Let's get back to the show. It's live now. Suck his dick.

Suck his dick. Suck his dick. But for real, light it up. Go get those tickets right now. We're all showing up. 18th. 18th. Radio City Music Hall.

Let's do it. Hey, what's up guys? This is really quick. I'm going on the road. I'm being Philadelphia for Wayne, Indiana. That's that it? Damn, I thought, okay, I'm going to Chicago. Hoboken and a bunch of other cities.

I'll see you guys there. Thanks so much. Mark Hagen on Live.com. Legit, like the neighborhood I grew up in A-Leaf, which is like just had so many amazing people come out of there. Yeah. It has like 90 languages spoken in that neighborhood alone. It's pretty, pretty interesting.

It's according to the school system. Houston is, like, the first level of the video game of America. Yes. For, like, immigrants. You know, like, if America was kind of complicit in doing some fuck shit to your country, we go, all right, y'all can come, but you've got to survive Houston. Houston, yes. And then after that, you get to have this American experience.

Because didn't all, like, the Cambodians go there and, like, the... Nigerians. No, Vietnamese as well, yeah. I don't know about the Cambodian population, but I know it's a huge Vietnamese population and a huge Nigerian population as well. 100%. And I'm sure you could tell the difference, obviously. between the Cambodians and Vietnamese

just off of looking at that. Impossible. Impossible. Let's just say Vietnamese. Shout out to Cambodians, though. For real. We love y'all. We appreciate y'all.

And we're glad the war stop. Man, fuck that. Y'all. I'll tell you exactly where the studio is. We need to repair it. Shout out to Cambodians. The Bodians, the Bodians. The Bodians.

What's happened? I don't know. Listen, Mo is on here. Obviously, we're talking reckless. Listen, we're the only people in America right now that believe that Muslims should hear jokes. I think we're the only one, two, what are we, five of us? We're the only five comedians that believe that.

It's so... How did you feel about when you... It's so disgusting, bro. It's the whole... I'm glad you're talking. I'm just... I cannot wait to talk you about it because it's... It's so disgusting, bro.

I find it so wildly appalling. First of all, like, even the community. that went there talking about, hey, they liked it. They fucking laughed. Like, they're shocked. They're just hearing some of the fucking comments. Or even, like, the guys, like on podcast talking about, oh, we're making jokes.

The guys that didn't get invited, they didn't get to go to the show. It was talking about, do, do, do, do doing this kind of shit. Fuck you, too. What was that the thing? Fuck you too. Did you understand what you said? Yeah, he does. What did he say?

No, they were like, there was a podcast on this bullshit, bro. It's, like, really, really upsetting because they think it's like. I wish I got that bag from Saudi. it's straight up like exactly it's just straight up that like casual racism of it all is fucking insane it's the big a tree let him know expectation it's insane bro it's so wildly appalling and then first of all for me from my perspective bro i'm i'm a palestinian roaming around in these streets like no matter where i go i'm dealing with something and also like me going to that region going to saudi arab going to riyadh itself how many Palestinians

that reached out to me after the show that they brought their kids man, I'm so, it makes me emotional, bro. Yeah. And then my kids got to see you on stage, got to say the things that you got to say. And it was completely free rein and got to do what you want to do. So fuck you for your casual racism. Fuck you for not wanting to push the needle forward.

Fuck you for not like even even like considering of being upset that the film industry is there, NFL is there, a UFC, every thing, Mr. Beast, Mr. Beast. The six best tennis players in the world. Everybody is there. You saw it. And you want to pick on comments. the most freest art form on planet

Earth, probably the last free art form on planet Earth, we can actually push the needle forward and you're talking about this is the issue, I find huge, huge beef with that. And you're talking about like 284 journalists killed in Gaza and nothing about that. Nobody's like

having a beef with doing shows in Tel Aviv or anything like that. Fuck that, bro. Talk your shit. I'm being, this is the truth. We're the best. We're the best comedy. Comedy. Comedy. It's like I really find it to be appalling, bro. The casual racism isn't fucking insane. And I'm a Muslim. I'm a Muslim. My brother's buried there down the street. You couldn't stop me from going there and performing for my own people. And as far as money is concerned, it was very much like in line of what I get paid in the Middle East. It wasn't even, it wasn't like I went out there and like, oh my God, I got six yacht. No, it's very much in line for what I got paid and everywhere. Tell him how rich you were. tell them. I'm not that

fucking no. I just got this money. I'm paying all the taxes. That's the one thing I don't fuck around with it America. I pay all the taxes. I'm more afraid of those three letters than I. All of them. 100%. I'm comfortable. I've been in worse

situations than a detention set. I just be chilling. I make good things happening in that detention. I love the deserts. And maybe ours is different because we performed in the Middle East before. we knew what to expect about it. But like, the funniest thing is when you see these people who, like, identify as very progressive. And it's like their expectations of people are so low that it doesn't match up with the progressive ideals.

Yes. You know what I mean? Like, I couldn't believe you do that. Like, I couldn't believe it. I just can't believe you would just go and perform for these animals. Let's just say it. Just say it. Just say it.

Say it. Just say it. I've been dealing with this shit my whole life. And I don't want to hear anything about it, especially, like, from community. Attacking other comedians is really fucked up and I just really don't like that. And it's not where we need to be as comedians. We need to be, you know, more thoughtful and have real dialogue and not just trying to throw people under the bus for absolutely no reason. I'm just really just shocked by it.

I was really, really blown away by it. I couldn't believe it. In Houston, my hometown, the place where I brought the first ever narrative sitcom, you know, to that spot is millions of dollars of revenue is coming to the city for me bringing a show way more than I ever. made on a TV show. And, you know, I stood for Houston. I love Houston. I still live in Houston. That's my town. It's my shit. They couldn't wait to shit on it. Nobody. Somebody putting it out there like, shame on you. Shame on you, motherfuckers. Shame on you. Shame on you. All I've done is give up so much. You think it was easy to film in Houston? I think that was an easy pitch to fucking go to Netflix? Be like, hey, I want to really film this as realistically as possible as

ground as possible in Houston, Texas is a place that has no structure for film and television. And the moment I go over that, you want to throw me in there, fuck you for that. And you already been over there. Houston Chronicle. Yeah. But you already been over there. I've been over there. And I'm also, I'm a Muslim, bro. I'm a Muslim. It's the obligation to go to Mecca.

I have to go to Mecca as well. It's like part of that system. And my brother's buried there. I lost my brother three weeks before my first season came out. Like, how dare you? How dare you? How dare you? I want to give you a chance to push back. This is people say, like, well, the government paid and you're accepting money from the government.

I want you to speak on that. What do you mean? Somehow that makes it immoral. I don't agree. Where does all this money come from? It all has one source. There's nothing to do with it. I sold tickets there.

That's where I think about. I think about going there as pre-negotiated. I go there and do that. Nobody's sitting there, no royal family sitting there writing checks to you do that. It's part of a big fun. I think they don't realize that people had to buy tickets to go to the show. Yeah, people had to buy tickets to go to the show. To be honest, I wish they didn't.

They booked people. who can come out and sell tickets and we could have done a much bigger venue probably. I was last, you know, one of the later ones to be added, fucked up enough. I was booked on October 7th. Why did you do this? We didn't do by October 7.

We flip. Bro, it was, they were exhausted from celebrating all. Okay, no, no, no. That's not funny, bro. You can't. That's not funny. They can't. They had cut that out.

They were, I'm not doing it. I ain't saying shit. I'm not saying shit I was funny as fucking Michael I was talking I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it

No but it's good to hear that perspective And like it is funny Bro the casual I can't stand there bro These fucking I'm honest I think it's fake Yeah Like there are people who fell for it

But I think that a lot of it Was started by bots Because literally two weeks after We all said this So like in two weeks Nobody will even make a peep about this and it has completely died down? Yeah, it is.

And then what has happened to Saudi over the next two weeks? I think it was a negotiating thing. Somebody was negotiating something and that's what created the pressure. That's probably what it was. And then even the fans, like, maybe like creating a little fuss

to like create some negotiating leverage. I don't know. I'm just speculating here. You're saying between countries? Maybe, yeah, maybe it's the case or agencies, whatever. People didn't hop on it though. CNN was on at comics or on.

They have nothing to say there's any distraction to take a fucking come on. Like, they just start doing it. They just need to have an opinion about it. The part that really frustrated me is like really pissed me off is that I'm nobody even like you just lump me into this shit and me being Palestinian, me being my background and the everything that we've done as comedians

to try to push the needle forward and try to just be truth tellers hopefully and storytellers and then there's people that even took the money and came back and fucking apologize like that was crazy. That's just crazy bro. Don't do that. Don't do that. These people want the fans in Saudi. I mean 50% of it. I think the population is actually Saudi.

I think something like that. And who's the other 50%? You know, who's the other 50%? So it's just like, it's not like we were sitting and performing. We were performing for real fans, people that had an appetite for this, people that wanted to see this. And I can't tell you enough, like, the amount of emails that I got from, like, people, like parents that brought their kids out or Palestinians that were there,

that were like, oh, my God, I can't believe you said those things. And it's just made me feel so empowered and free. Because a lot of these, A lot of people that talked about it, they're going to go out on tour around the world. And they're going to start to realize that, like, you know, there are rules in certain countries that might not align with their progressive policies or politics. And we're going to see if there's any pushback. I don't think there will be. I don't think the whole thing was fake in the first place.

Yeah, it is. And there's another thing, too. It's like, even some of my fans were like, I expect it better from you. I was like, well, I expected better from you, actually. Because I thought you would trust me. I thought you would trust me to be the same person no matter where I went. That's the biggest thing. Like, I don't change.

There's a lot of people that go do change. You know, I'm not saying it doesn't exist. People that go to a certain country and then they become like the monkeys for that country. No, no, no, no. I'm myself no matter where I go. It's very important to be thoughtful in the things that you say and I'm very, very, like, technical with it.

Who? Who? Who? No, I don't know who. Give us some Cat Williams. Give us that Cat Williams. I have got to go. I have no.

I genuinely don't really have examples. I'm talking about myself only. That's the only person I can speak for. I expect more from you as well to trust me and to know. Like everything that I've done with the show and how groundbreaking it is and what I did with that last episode in season two is nobody's going to do that. Nobody's going to do that. Like, I can't wait for you serious.

You think you've gotten your credit? You think you've gotten your credit for? I got it from the people, man. Like the amount of tickets that I've sold on the road and the people that want to see it from every background. that you could think of, that's what I don't care what anybody else says. I don't care what industry says or anything like that.

You know, the numbers on the road and the people that have come up to me no matter where I am on planet Earth, that's my award. That's how I feel like it. And if there's many, you know, there's things coming up and I hope they do recognize it

because it's good for the next future filmmakers and I think it's the right thing to do. Just because objectively it's so dope. I was telling you, I have not gotten a chance to watch season two. it has been on the road too much. Season one was awesome. Season two, from the people, I hear, like, unbelievable praise.

Unbelievable, like, it meant something to people. And I think you are kind of the man of this moment whether you want to be or not. I just think you don't really have a choice, and you've risen to the occasion, but I'm just very proud of you. As somebody you've known for, like, 15 years watching this whole thing happen. No, it's genuinely, like, something that I feel like is my life's work, you know? It's like a life purpose, like, to go into something like this and get this off my chest. was not an easy thing where first season I was kind of like you know it was pandemic I was

divorced by a year and a half I was dealing with so many things with the first zoom room ever and I think you know what I mean it was like so many different things in the air and people telling you should do this not do that and you feel confidently in particular storyline they start picking at it enough where you start losing confidence like fuck and I went into the second season we're like nobody's touching I'm me these are the guys I love y'all you come with me if you don't I can't have this, like, doubt shit. You know, I can't have, oh, uh-uh, you've got to trust to yourself completely, and I did that to the fullest extent, and nobody really meddled in what I had

and the vision that I had, and it was just, to me, it was like a perfect piece of heart. You're single now, right? No, I'm married. I have a baby. Again? What do you mean? You said you got divorced. I had divorced in the first season one. That's four years ago, five years ago.

Oh, shit. I know you got the baby. Well, I'm sorry. I don't want to put out of there. Congratulations. That's amazing. No, no, no, no. It was awesome.

I got remarried. The girl I met. Yeah, you didn't meet her, right? Yeah, yeah. Let me ask you a question. Did you come back home? Did you come back home? What do you mean?

Brown girl? Oh, she's brown, yes. I've always been brown. What type of brown? Always been brown. What type of brown? What type of brown? Portuguese?

Yeah. Wait, Portuguese sound white. Portuguese? Spanish? She's saying she only went back to Mecco once, huh? Three times, three times. Hold on now. Hold on. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing. We've known each other since eighth grade. They got you. And we know, we know. And we know, she's not, no, no, she's not white. What is she? Portuguese. She's so huge.

She's background, bro. Spanish and Portuguese. That's white. That's your opinion. No, she's not. Yeah, I know, but she's not, bro. North African influence is like crazy. Yep.

Now, don't even try. It's true. It's the Moors. It's the Moors king, man. No, no, no. That's true, though. What do you mean you're going to delete history? Listen.

Listen. She's not going to matter. Oh, did you revert her? No, she converted herself. Oh, really? With no influence from you? Zero, yeah. So she was the first time, too, to be honest with me.

Zero. No, zero, it's for real. Really? She was pregnant with our son, and it was like, she was about three, four months pregnant, and she just woke up, like, just crying and just, like, very, just, she just wanted to do it from her heart. It was beautiful. Wow. And then what is your reaction to that?

Got it. Are you sure? Got it. No, you have to, like, I genuinely, like, don't like to press about these things. And I think it's, uh, it's my responsibility is, like, to surround the family with, like, good vibes, good spirits and things like that. And, uh, and that was, like, came from her. And I just wanted her to be sure 100%. Like, I don't want this to come from, like, I got to do it because, you know.

No, it's got to, you got to feel it. your heart and has to come and the rest is between you and god and divine so now she's on board she's on board yeah she's amazing but but i've noticed since eighth grade and all these years went by and we rekindled we never dated like back then long game long game long game super trust my mom met her like five minutes later my mom gave her a ring i was like what are you doing oh yeah she's so dope she's like white girls too huh well you're the worst top five words

don't downgrade me you didn't get me the fucking top spot there's a lot of worse there's a lot of worse you're distilled into top five everybody has top five is she schooling you want stuff that's what I'm saying like does it put more pressure on you to be a hundred percent like committed

like you got to be is she about it because there's no religious person like a convert you know Yeah, there's like extreme examples of people who convert and things like that. It hasn't been like, it's been a very natural and like smooth thing. You know, my whole thing is like compulsion and religion is also bad too. So I was always taught that. It's like the balance my way is the middle way is what the proper honest will see. It's like my way is the middle way.

So you always have to be balanced in everything that you do. It can't be too extreme in everything that you do. But she's not just like pulling out Hadiths out of nowhere and you're like, oh shit. I'm shocked that you're pulling out Hadiths right now. Can I tell you something that I love? Mark has been trying to relate to you all the time And every time you're like Shut the fuck

I love it I truly love it It's a fucking disillain thing he did I'll better enjoy this When white people are on board He's all as long He could be Syrian I might take Shahada after this bro

Who knows He's been like to repeat after me No no no no no no no no no no yet It's not that big we do bro just cleanse you Yo Yeah don't talk about it be about it It's compulsion

It's compulsion Do it! it's okay you want to go to hell it's not a big deal but you can get me out though you can get me out you can get them out that's not it's not it at all how do you get a mouth the matter of fact the problem my alma in heaven who's the other half who is the other half exactly

everybody else that's your boy is that half of my omah half of my umma which means the Muslim world I suppose see half of them I hope I hope to see half my man correct me from please like so that means just being Muslim man enough to get you in yes that means it means like so you're going to have to keep you out, which is beautiful.

Exactly. That's a thing. But if you're in John, though, you can help get me out of hell a little bit, right? I mean, I don't know how much pull I have them, but I'll check in. But you've, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. You know, you're going to get some pull when you go there? Yeah, they're going to check the I-D-B.

You're going to check the I'm walking season two. You don't think they're the first one's watching. You put those ideas in your head. I don't know what that's going to be like. I don't know. I don't know what kind of pull, but I'll, you know, I'll put it in a word for you. I'm going to put in a word for you on the flip side I'm going to be up there

Omen in it and I'm going to be I'm going to get you gotta look out for my boy Mo okay I know you love the white women but everybody That's not true Bro

I love all women Of course That's what we're That's what they say When they love white women Exactly My wife's gonna really be upset She's not white more

She's not white She's not white She's not white Hot sauce very brown White sauce Yeah all right Why you're saying It's a bad thing. You're the whitest guy here.

Well, I think it's a great thing. I'm trying to convert you. I reverted you. Oh, I got you. Okay. I see what's happening now. You have Islam and I have whatever the white. You don't even know. You have no direction at all. Yeah, it's not about that. You're just making shit up as you go. That's right. Exactly. That's really good.

Exactly. I'm middling you. I don't believe in compulsion. That's not middle. That's not middle. You just take from here and take from there. I'm going to go to India for six months. Talk to him, Akash. You got me to find out of India I want to keep this guy out of India Yeah for a real No, let me go to India

No, no, no, no No, no You don't want to go to India Why don't I get to go to India? Because you're too, no Last time we went there, we organized that shit What? Just built some railroads

You know what I mean? Did a little jewel swap No partitions Yeah, you know what you're called A little swat swap Pretty sure it was a robbery We'll give you the language or whatever pretty sure that was a robbery

might have been a robbery. And spices that don't even fucking use. Oh, this is fantastic. But what do we do with these? We got to take back food, because we really perfected food. They just fucking, who perfected food? White people. That's, get the hell out. Italians got it.

All white people. All white people. All right people are from, Arabs. What are you talking about? Look it up. No, no. They got from the church. Can we let this up?

They got noodles from the Chinese. Y'all didn't have noodles. All right. Maybe they were leaders. All right. We weren't, we're not an ancient tradition either. That's right. This is my hot tag.

I think Christian food is the best food in the world. Oh, without a doubt. What is Christian food? I'm glad you asked. Italian, Mexican, French. French. Portuguese. Phonomenal.

Brazilian steakhouse. Oh, my God. Brazilian food is crazy. Ahran. Arab traders and settlers significantly raped and pillage. That's that fucking. What kind of AI is this? Significantly influenced Italian food, particularly in Sicily,

introducing key ingredients and techniques that are now fundamental to Italian cuisine. Anybody concocting for Sicilian food. What is that? What is that? What is that? That's a noodle. That's a noodle for you. I feel I got to get you arrested, bro.

No, no, it doesn't. I love having him here. I love it. Go sit over here and they're going to white people. Makes them real fun to tell people where to live, huh? Yeah, it is. Great. Actually, when I became a citizen, I was like, go to the power. Give them a little power. What do they do?

That's how I feel when all the Californians were moving to Texas. I was like, go back to where you came from. I was like, oh, what's that? What, it felt nice. Exactly. I see why they do this. See? That white girl got you.

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you know how zombies hands reach through the dirt but we know it just blows the roof off undertaker stuff just dick just winds itself right through the dirt and comes back are you going are you going to the funeral dude we need to look up see if cal she has a has a has a uh an odds or whatever a market for for the people going to the dick chain because this is going to be interesting because everybody knows whoever goes they're using this against you for as long as you're allowed. Yeah. Right? Yeah, which must be a tough invitation to get.

Like, please join us for the memorial of Dick Cheney. Yeah. You've got to be like, oh, God. But I also wonder if, like, all these politicians are like, yeah, we all do fucked up shit just kill tons of people. Like, I wonder if they're desensitized. Okay, what do we got here? Go back to the top. What do we got here? Okay, Biden, 98% chance. He's dead soon anyway.

Why not? Yeah, just see. George Bush 95 you got to go What else is George Bush doing? He's got a baseball game. So, like, he's, you know, he's long for right. That's 100%. Let me see. Kamala Harris, 72%.

No, she doesn't go. I don't think she goes. I don't think she goes. Barack is 60%. I don't think she goes. Sorry about that. He's him. Do you think Trompito is going?

I don't think Trompito is going. No, no, no, no, he's got to talk shit in Air Force One. Yeah, he's got way too much stuff to do. I mean, that is insane. This is crazy. We could, there's a market for who's showing up. Bonnie Blue, 20%? That's pretty good. Yo.

That is. She's been popping up everywhere. That's a video. She's been everywhere, dude. That is a video. She can sniff Blue Chew out of anything. You can find it. Dick Cheney's dead body of Blue Chew

and then Bonnie Blue rides the last bit of come out of it. Can we get back to? the show. Yeah, we should. Can we get back to the show? Listen, we're all going to India, Mo. You've got to come to India, man. I'm not doing it. I saw those cooking videos. I'm sorry. I can't do it. You don't want a little toaster? Oh, my God.

You don't want a little to toast? Listen, listen, I really, really have nothing but love and respect, but I'm... But all my Indian friends that go back home to India all get sick. I have no shot. I have no shot. I got sick. I got sick from a donut at a five-star hotel. Exactly. We go ahead. Actually, bro.

There's my Indian friends who have this DNA lining in their stomach. India is empty. That's what it is. I'm not going to do it, bro. I can't do it, bro. There's no way. We got to go to the Dung Festival. What's a Dung Festival?

Come on. There's no, no, there's not. Come on. You don't want to go to the Dung Festival? Look how much fun they're having. They're having a great time. They're having a great time. It's Burning Man.

Pink eye for everybody. Oh, my God. I can't do. I don't. I don't like you. You can depict the Indian people this way. I really don't like this. That's not me.

That's that YouTuber. That's a YouTuber. I'm saying I want to go. You're saying that you don't want to go. I don't want to go because I know I'm going to get sick. I just don't like being sick on the road. You pack a lunch. You can't get a lunch.

100%. Get your own food. Get a lunchbox. Just take like fucking NASA food packs. That's a great idea. MREs. My wife has a pretty good. She won't eat any cold, like uncooked fruits or vegetables.

Yeah, can't do it. She won't do any dairy. Okay, fair. And then only bottle water, obviously. Well, those three They glue that shit together too sometimes Yeah, they do do that shit. They glue what?

They fill it up with tap water and then glue it shit India. Holy shit. I want to go. Y'all need white people again. You need white people again. No, you don't. This is why they're in their message.

White people wouldn't allow it. Yes, some bad things happen, of course, but this glue to top. Once you hear a glue to top. This is sarcasm, okay? I want a billion people messaging me on Instagram, please. Do you have to deal with that? No. Okay, listen, guys,

from now, when we're only going to give the right opinions for the rest of the other. Thanks. So, right opinions for the episode. We shouldn't go back there

and it was fucked up what we did. What did you guys do there? Why do you keep saying weird? Why do you keep saying weird? Yeah, we get to own everything. Wait, what? That's not the way to fucking goes.

Wait, how does it go? Just everybody has their own share. There's plenty on this earth and stop stealing. That's how we're supposed to go. There's plenty on this earth and stop stealing. I agree with that.

Yes. I agree with that. 100%. What if somebody has oil? Yes. And there's not plenty where we're at. And then what you do is you enforce your currency on them and then you get your peace. No, we try to let women read or whatever.

No, democracy. Democracy. What is happening? What is happening is that? The Muslim word is regressed dramatically with the invasion and colonialism 100%. 100%. I know because you guys had all the algebra. We had the algebra.

We let them progress. They had rights. They still have rights. Why do you have to say that? Why do you have to say that? We know that. Because it's... No, they know that.

We know. Because apparently they're like, oh, I can't believe they laugh. I went to shout a radio. But that's not me. You're not out of here. That was you. I'm sure it was you.

Fucking. Why do you? I get roped in with this. You know what to be over there, man. And I tell you all that. I'm trying, bro. He's trying saying words like Shaada. All right, what do you want to eat them stuff?

This guy's been doing research since 5 a.m. Butter chicken. Butter chicken. What the fuck is that have to do with me? Are you what? I'm not Indian. Butter chicken, butter chicken. Oh, my God.

Butter chicken is delicious. Thank you. See? Look at this. This is cultural exchange. Yes, it is. I love butter. Butter chicken is delicious.

Okay, now you exchange something back with me. Give me some exchange. Mumbai got some of the best food ever. French fries. Oh. See what we did? See what we did? See what we did?

Forget that. French fries. Unity. French fries are exceptional. That's the only white food they can think of. Hamburgers? Hamburger.

Barrios? Don't laugh. Barrios. Sandwiches. Sandwiches. Paninis. I don't like how hard you hit that sand on the witchers.

I didn't like that shit. I didn't want to let you know about. I don't like that. I was trying to entice you with it. I was flirting. Sand. I don't come from the sand reason. I might actually.

I'm pretty sure we did overlap at some point. Yeah. Yeah. People were Roman, like you said. My brother did a big DNA, he goes back, like, thousands of years. Oh, my God. Did he find out he was part of small hat? No, small hat. I'm sure we all were at some point before the conversion. Did he take that and just like that shit on?

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's very open, like, I'm sure that that's what we were at some point. If you think about beginning of time, I mean, what the fuck? What was Adam and Eve? What were they? What were they? It's a good question. Maybe white people can tell us that.

Christians. They're a Christian. If we look at... They're a Muslim. Adam might have been an Indian, bro. Adam was... Because he was made from mud. All right.

It's been good, guys. Thanks so much. Peace out. Thank you very much. Where's the exit? Where's the exit? That's technically... Where does it lead to?

Motiv candy. I have to be honest. This looks like the front of a mosque right here. I'm not going to lie. That's why we do. That's why we do. That's why we do it. I don't think you're like 100%.

Yeah, there's a detention center right behind it. That's so fucked up. Genuinely, what's happening with ICE is really fucking diabolical. It is. So fucked up. I agree. So fucked up. And who's going to finish your roof?

It's really funny. I get the podcast now. I get it. Yeah. He's in. We got him. He's in. No, genuinely, it's really fucked up.

I really, really feel terrible for those people. I really, real, feel awful for them. Even people who have U.S. citizenship are being picked up. There's no rhyme with reason to the whole thing. It's really fucked. What do you think about them Venezuelan boats? I didn't read much about it recently. It's just the bombing of, is it you talking about the drug?

Yeah. Game of Battleship. Yeah, game of battleship. I don't know what that. I honestly genuinely don't know. I didn't read about it. I'll take this serious. I'm not very informed about it, to be honest with you, but it seems kind of, like, yeah, these are fucking drug ship. And you just start shooting them down.

It's like, does nothing. How do we know their drug ship? Exactly, that's my point. And what drugs? It's crazy, yeah. Also, some drugs, it's a great point. We might want to let up in here. Yes, they do very well.

They do let all that up in here. I mean, the only reason why they were mad at Escobar because nobody was getting a piece of that money that's why all the cash was disappearing. They didn't even fuck that thousands of murders were occurring in Miami. They were like, wait, wait, where's the cash there? That's what I'm saying. But there's so many dead people.

Yeah, yeah, where's the cash at? So should we let drug dealers pay taxes? I think that's already happening. They probably don't even pay taxes. No, it's called the pharmaceutical industry. Oh, yeah. It's like Walgreens. Pisses me off.

It's like, we don't sell cigarettes, but we have fentanyl in the bag of your life. Talk that shit. Oh, we don't go never sell cigarettes, but we have fentanyl. We have every single addictive drug, synthetic heroin in the back. You could like it. But God forbid, you have some nicotine. God forbid. I just found out most smoke cigarettes and this really bothers him.

Are you serious? Do you smoke? Yeah, smoke? Yeah. You know I smoke? Yeah. You know I smoke a smoker. Oh, I do remember.

I'm having a hard time right now. Do you want to have a smoke? Oh, let's get the medroix. Oh, you don't know about the medoire, man. Oh, you're talking about the middoir, man? Oh, you're talking about the white guy? Let me try something about the Middle East, okay? Do you want to have an actual real Middle Eastern smoke?

What are you talking about? I should put you on your ass, dude. The Doha thing? Nah, I'm not smoking. It's too strong? No. I smoke real weed, but nobody needs that. No, it's like a...

Tobacco with the wooden pipe and a... Oh, that should is fire. That's the substitute for wheat. That's what that is. Yeah, because they can smoke. Which doha means, like, being dizzy. Or we got to get the Gat The Yemeni Gat

You ever try that before? I want to try this guy's been Research you I was saying I have to be her I hate that pair of shit Hey look at me I know about you shut the fuck up dude I hate that

I want to try it Every time I ask You know what I hate that I hate that You're gonna try about racism all time A second white guy takes it

I'm not taking this take I'm not just you look in people Yeah The second way people take an interest in your culture is like, I don't know, but that's me, I don't need it. I know, I know, I don't know. I'm judging you, I'm judging you, I'm judging. I really like your culture.

I don't think you approve of the pandering. Is that you approve of the pandering? It's not pandering, I think he's taking interest in genuinely trying. It's just really cool. It's not your culture. It's not your culture. I know. Stop speaking for me, Indian.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just joking. I'm fine. I'm fine. That was true. Two Middle Easter. Stop.

Stop! Get the fucking out. No, no, no, no, no. Where is your passport? That shit was two Middle Easter. I know this guy. He only comes to get up. He got, he got, I got your passport in his pocket.

You're not leaving. You're not leaving this country. I get him. Which care of it? No, mom loves me. Matter of fact, I'm finishing his roof after this. Which, by the way, it's leaking. This is a mistake

We're just out here Trying to have cultural exchange No, genuinely, genuinely What's your favorite white thing? My favorite white thing? Yeah, his wife, man Let me tell you something, bro I was waiting

I was so glad I didn't have to do it I'm so glad I didn't it I'm face time my wife Listen, listen I'm about to Will Smith somebody I'm about to Will Smith some motherfucker right now We're proud By the Will Smiths to keep my wife's name.

My wife is white too, bro. Yes, there's okay. Yeah, no, I forgot it. Fuck out of. Fuck out of. Fuck out of. No, come on, bro. For real.

Fuck out of it. Fuck out of it. Listen, you have to hold. My culture is not your costume, bro. What do you mean? Can be fuck out of here. Hey, you forget about it. Don't fuck out of here.

I was Italian after 9-11. That's not Italian. That's New York. New York Italian. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. New York. No, that's Italian. Italians don't talk like that in Italy?

In Jersey, though, all American Italians. This is a New York? Hey God, so get about this. We had. Is that what you want? Okay. Yeah. Congratulations.

I know which one you like. Yos, it's he, Khyos, it's Jail. That's more like, that's more like, that's more. Don't you also agree with him? No. No, no, that's what you want. I just wanted to make you feel more comfortable.

Haven't you been watching those speeches, He's a haircut for 10 fucking ears. Haven't you to watch it? Like, no, no, no. I'm not doing it. Which camera do not look at? And nothing to do with this. None of it.

No, watching the speech is like, yeah, that shit is our confidence. No, that's fucked up. I'm not dealing with none of this. This is fucked up. Oh, you walked in the door. I know. It's a crazy thing. Everything's going so good.

Top three white countries. Yeah. Top three white countries. Yeah, yeah. I don't know about country, but London. Great White City, even though we've taken that bitch over. They own the buildings, we got the people. That's true.

That's true. I do like more vibey. Okay. I think Holland is great. Amsterdam in particular is really a fun time. Copenhagen is really a spectacular. Oh, Copenhagen, there you go. Vienna is great too.

Fucking amazing. You would like Vienna, yeah. I like to. I like to a lot, bro. I went to the source. I was really pleasantly surprised in Vienna. No, we just did the tour there, and we had a tour stop there. It was really awesome, man.

Oh, no way. It was such a great city. You go to his childhood at home. Dublin was fired. No, fuck out of here. I didn't even know who's from there, actually. No, that you said. Who?

The. DJ Gallard. DJ Call. Your friend, your pen pal. I heard he lives in Argentina. He might. You think he got a wife? Why do you think Andrew knows Spanish?

I got to communicate. You know what they're on to you. They want to you. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. You, stand your shoulders is here. Communicate me. He's sending us a message. He's right down.

Oh, the beep. Oh, I thought that was Cambodia. Yeah. No. Oh, Jesus. What? What was that? It was a prayer?

Yes, you have to, like, you know, you had to balance things out. We got to cleanse. We got to cleanse things out. Can you give us a good prayer? Can you give us a good quick one? What do you mean a good prayer? There's many good prayers. Yeah.

You just give us. one. I mean, a prayer is something within yourself between you and God. Like, there's things that I say to myself all the time, like, just praying with God. There's that. Okay. So that's personal. Yeah, that's your thing. That's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like brothers. Yeah, what about that one? Brother, ooh. What is that? Have you ever seen this? No. Oh, this is the best dude ever. What is this? I think he's like showing you. Yeah, while you get that up, why you get that up, let me ask you a question. Pause, pause, pause, pause,

pass forward. Fast forward. Fast forward. Pause, pause, pause, pause, yeah. Okay, holy shit. Listen. While you get that up, let me start on something. While you get that up, right? Yeah, pause.

Do you watch Arab prank videos at all? Arab prank videos? No. Oh, the little dude? I can't, it's like, there's some of the things that are just so incredible, I can't believe it's not part of your algorithm. Oh, that's crazy, yeah, yeah. You don't watch this at all?

No, no. Let me try to find this guy. I need to, yeah. Let me find them. It needs to be on my algorithm. I need to switch it up for sure. All right, there's always a little person There's always a little guy

And that's why what I was going to ask I'm such a fan of this Is the Arab dude the little Arab guy Well no no not you're thinking of who Because that guy is No no he's not Arab Yeah this is one of the guys These guys are a sensation

Yeah they said this guy is awesome But there's three of them that are like a crew I see a video where he's like dancing and shit He's hilarious He always smacked this guy It always was such an Arab thing Just smack the back of the neck Yeah

Wait can I see this? Yeah please I don't know I don't know this one, but go, go. He didn't have been a neck. Oh, he's about to get rock. Oh, my God, he's praying to God, bro. He's like, al-h-h-h-a-l-l-he's about to rock.

But I love the other dude, it's like, y'all-law, this is a very Arab thing. They're like, oh, like, al-h-h-h-a-l-law. And he's just, like, swearing to God, like, he's about to go down. You know what I mean? It's a thing to it that made me happy. But the rest of it really sucked. You want this part of my algorithm? Get the fuck out of it.

Way better things from my algorithm. This really should be part of your algorithm. Nobody wants to see this. No, this guy's awesome. I don't know which part is. Oh, yeah, it's at the very top. This is like, I think he's from Australia and New Zealand, but he's in a mom that does these speeches.

Grow a bead. Live simple lives. Ugh. Brother, ugh. pause i can't i can't yeah we don't know what he's funny we don't know what he's doing about so we're about to get moment trouble yeah yeah i don't want to do that yeah i just don't like making fun of religious figures and stuff like that but i think it's really funny though oh no no i know i know i know i'm trying to make fun of me no i'm trying to yeah the oobrother is

hilarious though ew but i already know these guys he knows this way crazy viral he has to he knows yeah he's probably going to keep doing it like he's addicted to it now He wants to keep doing it. Yeah, he must be Australian or something like that. I don't know. I couldn't tell from me. I didn't hear enough. I just hear, ew, brother.

You have to watch out for the white woman. Ew, brother. Oh, unless she convert to Islam. Yes. Then you bring the moment to us to the path, you know. Is there any pressure? Infiltrate the DNA. Keep going.

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off. And if you get a post-purched survey, make sure to let them know that you're heard about Cozy Earth right here. Now let's get back to the show. Once somebody is Muslim, right, like would there be any, because that is the identity that I imagine supersedes everything. Obviously ethnicity is incredibly important. It's history. It's, you know, food is everything. But if somebody is Muslim and they are white or they're black or they're Asian or whatever it is, would matter to certain families? It does not matter at all, bro. Like, there is cultural, there is cultural, there is cultural things that do exist, but to Islam itself, if you look up the last, if you look up the last sermon of the

Prophet Muhammad Saddam, it'll blow your mind. What does he say? It'll literally blow your mind. I just don't want to do it any disservice, but essentially is that, you know, the last thing, the big thing in Islam is like, don't misquote thing or mislead things. It's very, very important to be clear and concise on things. But one of them is like, you know, basically an Arab doesn't have a right over another Arab, or a white over another white or a black over another black it's just like basically described like was this a thing that impacted uh muhaman ali malcolm oh sorry malcolm malcolm that's right when he went to hadj yeah when he went to hodge and he saw everybody wearing the same you know

same attire there's no like distinction of who's rich and who's poor or whatever everybody's in the same and so many colors like everyone every walk of life and this doesn't exist like in arab culture like you know like you just you know they're all arabs you don't think like oh it's a black This is a very American, westernized thing. It didn't exist in our psyche like that. I mean, it did to a degree because Prime Mohammed, you know, someone said, did acknowledge it and say, like, very clear parameters. Like, nobody has a right over anybody else.

Yeah. You know, that's very, very clear. But then after that, it's just like, you're just Arab, bro. You speak Arabic. I don't look at it like, that's a black guy that speaks Arabic. That's a white guy that speaks. That's a more Western thing. Yeah, it's a Western thing completely.

It's not within our psyche at all. Can you speak about the first time you did the Hajj? Is that what you said? Yeah, I've never done Hajb, but I've done Omra. What is the difference? Omra is like the shorter version that you could do off, you know, outside of Hajj time. So Hajj happens like three months after, so, you know, so it's almost three months. It's since we deal with the lunar calendar.

So after Ramadan, there'll be like the Eid, and then there's the big Eid with Sheed al-Atha, and that's around the time everybody goes to Hajj. So if you go to Mecca, not during that time, it's called Umbra. Ombra, yeah, which is a much shorter, condensed version. But you saw, and you experienced it. Yeah, yeah, I've done this. Yeah, I've done this. After my brother died, I went, took my family with me. And then I went a second time, a few months later, it just happened, like four or four months, four or five months later.

And then I went on this past trip, I took my son and wife with me. Okay. It was amazing. Yeah, can you... It was one of the hardest things I've done on this particular trip. It was just really, really tough with my son and everything. But it's amazing how the kid, like, knew. Like, he knew he was in the presence of something.

Oh, yeah, he just immediately started praising it. It was so instinctual. It was so dope because it's a kid. I never taught him like, hey, make sure you do this, do that. He just walked in and, like, knew. It was so amazing. What is so powerful about it? I had a friend who did it, and his whole, he just changed his whole life,

Omra, after he came back, Mothashami, a comedian. But what is so powerful about it? I think from each person, it'll vary, but I'll speak from my own experience, is that you know this is like the center of the world and you know that all the prophets existed at some point in time and you know that there's a tremendous amount of significance of being there and also the presence of everyone there, the gathering itself and then knowing that just it's a spiritual thing. You can't really describe fully, but I have the meaning for it.

it you know it's like you get there and it's just like you just caught up in the energy of the energy is just so palpable you know and once you do that once you go through it and sometimes it's really really hard like it was this past trip and you you know there's a lot of things you're not supposed to do like you can't you can't go there angry you can't go there may you can't you can't like kill any like lizard or brod or anything you can't kill anything you have to be pure like super pure and in a positive mindset and you have to wash before you even go into mecca and and change the tire and, you know, put on the, put on the, uh, the, um, um, um, harem and it has no stitching in it. It's all just like 100% like this cotton covering. Like, you know, you just go in

and you're just naked. You just like, I have nothing except you and God and all these people and just having my son there with me and my wife was just really incredible, uh, experience. And it's just so moving. And you're supposed to go from there to Medina and visit the prophet in the prophet's Mosques. It's incredible. I can't just, I can't, it's very, you have to just, like, do it to experience it. Even Medina is one of the safest places on Earth. According to insurance companies, it's the safest place on Earth for women to go anywhere on planet Earth. Can, can you tell me about the first time you went? Like, I imagine, how old were you at that time? First time I went? It wasn't that long. It was three years ago. Okay. I imagine your entire life you'd built up what this experience is going to be.

Yeah. The emotions that you would have. You know, what is how? happening like the day before what is happening when you show up that day like are you nervous are you excited are you nervous about even getting back in yes no well no at that point you're nothing like what is about that experience like compared to what you built it up to be to what everybody had told you about like are you really good question is you chasing the emotion of it or is it overwhelming you like what happens the day you arrive well for me again for me um it's i was stripped down the zero you know i just my brother had just passed like maybe two 15 days prior it was It was a complete out of nowhere.

It was the healthiest one. He was a pilot. He was just so, nobody saw it coming, you know. He, like, texted us. I'll hit you guy. I'm charging my phone. I'm at the hospital. Getting to check up in my chest, whatever.

And then the next call we got that he was dead. So he just, like, changed my entire world. All of us, you know. So when I went there, I had a different energy completely. I was just like, you know, I'm in this position where I'm like, I don't want to see, like, the leader of the family, but I am, like, in a way. And so my mom, depending. depends on me in a way and i'm just thinking about his kids his wife all these things and so i wasn't

really thinking about like oh i was more like i'm taking my mother for her heart i'm taking his kids whoever wants to come with me whoever wants to come like it wasn't about you it was about them yeah it was about everybody else and to me of being of service to my mother it's a big deal and to be able to push my mom to do the laps to seven lapses was a big deal so all that is there like culminates to the experience you know just brings it all together for me but it was deeply deeply powerful and actually that's where i prayed for my son like i pray i didn't know i said god please and i don't really say this publicly but i said like you know uh got you know just thinking about my brother passing and my sister was sick at the time too we just found out about her diagnosis it was just like

if it's good for me and give me a son and a great wife or you know a child and a great wife and a family if it's not good for me please don't give it to me eight months later i was you know pregnant, expecting a child. Wow. Yeah. So it was just that. It was just that, like, being there for the family, but it's like, you got to be, it's depending on which space you're in.

And some people go, and it's, like, forced, and it's, some people do that. And then you say, hello, Adam. It's only, only God knows what's in their hearts and what their intentions are. But for me, it was deeply, deeply powerful. Easily one of the greatest things I've done in my life, taking my mom there after my brother passed and all this. When you're there and you're doing the lapse, is, does somebody tell, I'm, forgive me, I'm ignorant to this. But does somebody tell you where you can stand?

Can you go up and be closer to it? Yeah, you can. You can be as close as you want to and you can. And there's, you know, there's people that are overwhelmed by it. Right. There's a lot of different emotions going on. Yeah, there's a lot of different emotions. I'm more of like, I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to like try to top up people. I just think it's very important to just be as controlled and as balanced as possible and to see it and appreciate it. And if there's room to go and to, I don't need to. do i don't feel the need to have to go and touch it and do all this because i just see so much chaos over there and everyone just kind of which i don't agree with it could disrupt you or energy and everybody's feeling a certain thing and you don't know what emotions they're going through i lost my sister my brother this guy could have lost his whole family i mean you don't even know what loss

people are going through what mindset they're at or what reasons they're doing it for so you don't You know, I just try to stay in my own way and just think, and then just think and pray if you're possible. If you're not of the faith, are you allowed to go? No. No, you know. When people go there, are they going there with a prayer in mind, per se? Are they going there to, like, maybe seek advice or a message? Like, is it both?

I think it's all of the things together. Like, number one is that you're going there to purify your heart and essentially cleanse yourself. And so there's things that you follow while you're there. you can say while you're going around and there's ways to do that but really what it boils down to is being as like internal about it's like being really from the heart and having your intention with the divine you know that's really really what it's about it's like you can just keep talking to god while you're walking around sure there's things there is an actual you know things you can say on the way there uh while you're going around there's is like uh things you can do 100% in the end

like you have to be like your intention and with god and the things that you say the things you pray for and ask for that's the most important thing it's like you being like in tune with the divine you know and i keep saying like divine and god it's like the way i was taught it's like your incomprehension of god is your comprehension of god yeah acknowledging that you can't possibly comprehend exactly exactly exactly like you're if you try to describe what god is your brain should short circuit exactly yeah it's too much for you put together exactly exactly Yeah, it's easily one of the greatest things I've done in my life. It was the hardest, one of the hardest things.

And the first one you do, you do it. You have to do it for yourself. And then the other times you do it, you can do it on behalf of others. You know, like people who couldn't go. You can make the intention to do that. Oh, wow. This is always my third time. I made an intention for someone else, you know.

And you go and do it on their behalf. At this point going, people must know you. Like, they must be so familiar with you. Are people stopping you? while you're actually... Sometimes they're smiling, but it's a very respectful thing, to be honest. I'll get messages after, like, I saw it.

I saw you, brother, but I didn't want to interrupt you. It's a very, very sweet thing. They're also probably hype, too. They're in tune, but they see you, and then sometimes it breaks that, you know, focus a little bit, but for the most part, it's everyone is there for a particular purpose, and they understand that, so they don't really interrupt that at all.

It's very cool. Like, they don't really, really don't. And actually, most of them were just thrilled to see my son. He was the main attraction, you know what? just seeing this not even two-year-old going around. It's such a blessed thing. Kids are like, they see this as like he's like the innocent and the purest one. So he was getting way more attention than I was, you know.

And I was praying for him most of the time, praying for him, my wife and those I've lost before. Why is that place specifically so important? Like what is the historical significance of it? Is that? That's the first place of worship. Ever. You know, ever. In the Muslim religion.

Yes. Yeah. And all religions, yeah. Abraham, prophet Abraham. Oh, I didn't know that it went back to Abraham. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Abraham built the combo?

Yes, I believe so. Oh, wow. So that's the first... Can you fact check me on this, but I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it is because he's the one who... So this is the source, this is the first... He saw the moon, and he saw the oneness of God and the monotheistic belief and religion, and he, the story of some is like, he saw these statues and he broke... I got some goosebumps right there, man. He broke all the statues, and then he put the hammer around the big statue, and everyone's like, oh, my God, the big statue, you know, destroyed all.

He's like, what are you talking about? Like, you know, this is ridiculous. But it's interesting. He just kind of broke that whole mode. Because... You're looking at it? Wow, that's... So, yeah.

Okay, no, Abraham, build the first temple, King Solomon, built it according to the book. It's supposed to be built by Abraham and Ishmael. Yeah. Abraham and Ishmael built that, the temple. Wow. A cabal. Yeah, the Islamic text.

Yeah. Wow. And then what would the difference be a Kaaba compared to a temple? compared to uh it's a place of worship i mean it's like i don't again like it's one of those things that i don't want to misspeak it's very very important that i keep it clear but do you research do the thing and i'd love to talk about it more clearly but it's just like the different setting for that you know what i yeah yeah yeah yeah wow oh i didn't know it that it went all the way back to oh yes source oh yeah yeah it's been destroyed and rebuild and destroy rebut

this many obviously many things that have happened throughout history since then but it's an extremely, you know, powerful place, for sure. And are, like, Christians and Jews, do they also revere that place? The Christian and Jews will go to Jerusalem, right? That's what I've always seen. They'll go to Jerusalem. So it used to be, like, pilgrims would go to Jerusalem until the Prophet Muhammad changed. The cab, sorry, excuse me, the direction of prayer.

I can feel the pressure that you have to get this, right? No, it's really important. I really make sure you look out from me on this, but it's really important. to you and I can feel that and there's this part of me that's like I really empathize with that because I can see how important it is to you and you don't want to get it wrong. Yeah, of course not. This is very

important. Yeah, yeah. But I do know for a fact that he used to pray towards Jerusalem and then it was changed to Mecca. To Mecca, yeah. So the prophet peace be upon him, he says that this is going to be the new place because it was the original place. Yes. And this is where, oh wow, wow, wow.

So you used to be there, yeah. But Jews and Christians don't. They look at Jerusalem is more. Yes, they look at Jerusalem, yeah. Jerusalem, they go to Bethlehem and Nazareth. Obviously, the birthplace of Jesus. Yeah, exactly. Oh, wow.

We don't also have the same obligation for, like, a hudge that Muslims have. Right. That there's, like, an actual specific place to go to. Yeah. And I think that there's a connection with NECA. They do feel that way. Like, it is some sort of, like, pilgrimers to that. But the idea is that, you know, the idea is that Christians, and it's a beautiful thing.

You know, there's a lot of Palestinian Christians, too. Like, where do you think it came from? You know what I'm saying? So, so it's like, there's a lot of. Boy, Brown people, you're welcome. And that's where they go.

They would go visit Bethlehem, Nazareth, of course, and they would tour those lands. I will say it's when I went to Jerusalem. It's a beautiful thing. And like, again, I obviously never been to Mecca, but like what you were describing in terms of like the intensity of the worship there,

like everybody there is like, it's game time. This is the thing that I believe, and we're talking about everybody. Yeah, of course. It's beautiful. This is a thing that matters to me the most, and I love it, and I appreciate it, and I'm in the presence of it right now. And it was quite overwhelming that feeling.

Yeah. It was quite overwhelming. It is. And someone who did not grow up religious at all. I was, like, caught up in it in a way that I've never experienced anything else. It's incredible, man. It's like really a profound feeling that you have, and it's just like the energy. You know, it's a real thing.

That many people coming together for this sole purpose of just, like, being faithful, and their belief in God is just a beautiful thing. They had this addition to a higher power. It's so beautiful, yeah, yeah. It's incredible. It's incredible. And I remember being so torn up because I was visiting my family in the West Bank

and my aunt, you know, she doesn't have the same freedom as I would because I have a U.S. passport. She was just begging for me to put her in the dress. Just take me with you, please. To go back home? Come me in the trunk to go to Jerusalem. Oh, so they can witness it.

They can't go freely. You have to get permits. They usually denied. And they're right there because it is all separated by the apartheid wall. And you watch your applause, Mike. Oh, yeah, let me. The Jews are telling you to stop talking.

Oh, okay, cool. Talking too much. Shut down the mic. Shut down the mic. But I take grace. So, yeah, it's like, it's a very painful thing for me, you know, because, like, I grew up with these stories from my mother and talking about my grandfather and those stories of, like, where, you know, there's so many Palestinian Christians, and, of course, there's

Palestinian Jews and Muslims as the majority. but there was not the life that I see today and what that has turned into today is really, really disheartening. Do you have that thing that it's called... To say the least, my heart is shattered, bro. Yeah, it's Survivor's guilt. Have you heard of that term? Oh, I just, I don't know about Survivor's guilt and all this.

It's a term. I know, I know I've heard of it. Yeah. I think about it as just like, I don't know about Survivor's guilt, but I feel like my heart is shattered. And I just, you know, you think that it can't get worse and it does and you feel helpless. So the best way that I can contribute in any kind of way, because I do believe in a unifying rather than like being just like this instigator.

There's too many of that going on. So it's just like really, really important for me to share like really grounded stories from where I come from and what it is. I don't call it Survivor's guilt because, you know, I don't think that's like my parents were just trying to do the right thing and have a future for me. so as they thought coming to Texas was the best thing. You know what I mean? And it has been and it has been a night. Didn't it end up being? It was the best thing.

Like, absolutely. In terms of your impact, like, could your parents ever imagine the impact that you've had on your people's lives? My mom is blown away. This is what I knew. Could they ever conceptualize it? Coming to Houston, Texas could have that type of impact. Never.

Nobody saw come. My father passed when I was 14, so I don't, I know that he would be wildly proud of it. Like, insanely probably he would be, like, he would be astonished. Astonished, astonished. Does your mom tell everybody that your son? My mom doesn't really talk like. My mom is very protective. She's old school like this.

But this is when I knew I was famous, for real, for real. My mom got a WhatsApp video of me, and they didn't know they were forwarding it to my mom. Wow. You know what I mean? Do you like, have you seen this guy? You know what I'm saying? It's when I was like, oh. A couple times.

I'm like, what you see me? I'm fucking WhatsApp famous. What are those videos? views like on WhatsApp. Those WhatsApp immigrant views are fucking crazy. You hit that. I was like, oh, shit. I just made it, bro.

I made it for real. If my mom is getting WhatsApp message, you've seen this guy? Incredible. Because there was a few moments where I, you know, I do showcase the village that would come from in my series end and my second special,

Mohammed in Texas, where I go back to our village and it was just such a profiling, funny story at the same time. I went to the mosque, and I was just like, oh my God, it's when my father prayed.

My grandfather prayed. first time I ever went there in 2009 when I was allowed to go back. And I get there and I do a quick little prayer there and I'm thinking and I'm waiting for me to prayer to go off. And then this guy goes, hey, it's time for mech to prayer. Do the call to prayer. I was like, no, I'm not doing a call to prayer. He's like, no, no, do the call to pray. He's like, no, do the call to prayer. I was like, I don't want to do it. He's like, you have a beard or not. I don't want to do the call. It's a lot of pressure to do the call to the entire village. And they finally force, he's like, just do it. Okay, I'll do it. It's one of those things. And I get on the mic and I do

the call to prayer. I'm just like, overwhelmed. I'm just like, oh my God, and this guy comes right in, right? Who did the call to prayer like this? And everybody sells me out, even my cousin. He was like, this guy. I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. They made me do the call to prayer. Why?

He's like, wait, you did it 10 minutes early. I was like, that's not what the clock says. He goes, that clock is 10 minutes ahead. I was like, bro, how the hell am I supposed to do this? Why don't y'all fix the clock? It's a digital clock. I'm sure just a couple of buttons will fix the whole situation. And he was like, wait a second.

I know everybody in this village. Who are you? I've never seen you before. I'm telling my name. he goes huh he goes who's your father i tell him my father is he gets so quiet he goes oh man he goes Mustafa he goes you know who installed the sound system in here no way no way crazy holy lost it not in that moment but i had to walk away and i just like blah holy shit tense that is why it became a whole story

My mom found out about it immediately. She called me up. You know, you're doing cold a prayer 10 minutes early? You know, it was like a whole thing. But they didn't know, like, how. And I have it all on videos. I put it in, like, in my encore in the Mahometa, Texas special. It was just so.

Then I reenacted it, like, in the series and episode. Yeah, I saw that scene, season two, yeah. Beautiful. It was really, really dope, man. So it's just, like, things like that. I think comedy sincerely has, like, saved my life. We're being generationally displaced. It has allowed me to, like, rekindle all my family.

family across the world. Being to perform in all these different places around the planet has created like this situation for me where I'm like the glue to keep everybody together. I ain't choose to do it. It just chose me. And to be in that position was really been priceless. And the fact that I get to share with my son now is just amazing. Forget about it. Is there is there is there like a like your relationship with America right? Like, you've had so much success, and you've been able to not only create a career that is incredibly successful, but, like, on your own terms of success. While at the same time, there are things that as America has done around the world has deeply impacted your family. Sure.

Like, how are you juggling that? You go, is there a part of you? Internally. Yeah, like, are you, I imagine there's party that's, like, very angry about it, but then maybe is there a part of you that's, like, very grateful for some of the things that America provides? Of course, first of all, I'm American, you know, so it's like, that's happening. First of all, it's really important to note, you know, like, I am American, and I am also Palestinian, so it's like, those are a balance that needs to happen inside, both internally.

And what I did was, like, especially after 9-11, like, I started staying up in 95. I was a little teenager, bro. I was like little, I was 13 years old. I was not even 14 yet. And I was after my father died, I was just like doing stand-up in class and all that shit. Fast forward to me doing stand-up in the clubs. I realized very quickly, like, I'm the only one here.

There's nobody else, you know? This is the laugh spot. It was one of the clubs I started at back then. It was laugh stop, laugh spot in the comedy showcase. And I used to go to these clubs. And there was not a mother Muslim were Arab in sight, you know? And all the white comedians just wanted to be Bill Hicks and Sam, you know, like that was the whole.

crews they were there and i didn't even know who these guys were yeah they've been in the country like eight years i don't know they're like you don't know what the fuck's wrong you know it's that thing so i realized that there's a tremendous responsibility there and also like oh i'm the first guy this this is a huge responsibility it's cool but also like you better be fucking good you know and then and then after 9-11 it did this hard switch where i was like oh there's even a bigger responsibility now because I had got invited to go do shows in Germany, Italy, and Sicily for U.S. troops in April of 2001. It was like 19 years old.

I didn't even have a passport. I had a refugee travel document. I go do these shows. I didn't even know, like, I went to the German consulate of the day I'm flying out. I was like, I need a visa. He's like, what are you stupid? He's supposed to be here way before. He goes, but you're in luck.

He goes, the travel document is issued by the United States. is not require a visa to enter Germany. And today, the Schengen law goes into effect that when you fly into a European country, you can fly in domestically everywhere else. I mean, what are the chances of that? I went, did that whole tour, doing shows of U.S. military, crazy. Had a different meaning to it then.

Five months later, 9-11 happens. Shifts, I was booked to do Japan, Korea, Guam, these military tours there. And then they canceled me. They were like, oh, you know, we're worried about your safety. It was like, my safety. nobody nothing's going to happen me i believed in it i was like oh it was really a moment where i was scared to be myself and i thought like the best approach is to go do these shows i could be myself

in front of them i could be myself for anybody and it was really and i ended up doing it they love me so much they brought me back three years in a row and i was able to connect with so many soldiers there and realize very quickly like the america occupies the entire planet you know and once i started realizing this and then I got invited to go to Kuwait and Iraq, the very place that I was, you know, that I fled from. I couldn't turn that down. I was like, I got to go do this. It was before I even was a

citizen. So I had to like mislead the immigration officer to get into the country. I just spoke perfectly and it was like, oh well, I don't know, we're doing shows for us groups here and this and that. And I end up at Saddam Hussein's palace, which was converted into a hotel. And

it's just like, you know, experiencing that being able to resolve everything that was going on in my heart and communicate with all these soldiers on such a human level and realizing that these guys didn't even want to be there and realize they were also misled in such a significant way is, you know, somehow made me feel more at ease about it. And I was doing shows, but there was like all these U.S. soldiers here

and then there was like Iraqi soldiers up there. I was flipping into Arabic. Those guys were laughing. I would come back to English. But then Americans are like, yo, would we trust this guy? And I start talking shit about them with the Arabic and they start laughing. And I started talking shit. It was so, nobody's done this.

Nobody's ever going to do this again. It's not possible. Never going to happen. And this is when I realized like, oh, there was a big play here. It wasn't really Saddam Hussein. It wasn't really all this. It was about like American domination in the region. It just made me, it just settled things down a lot better for me.

And just like, and that's the way I kind of balance things out. It's like I hit them head on. I don't have settled things for you Because in my mind That would make me feel a little bit more like Oh fuck Because when you're mad You don't understand it

And then when you're upset about something It's because you don't fully grasp You don't fully grasp what happened But when you do understand it It becomes more logical And it just helps you Like heal It creates this thing

And also got to go back to Kuwait I saw my aunt After like 20 years She was like another mom to me It's wild So they're supposed to escort me back to the plane, me and the comedian, that's their protocol. And this is in 2009. And they go, no, no, we have to take you to the plane. And I was like, come on, man, just like,

you know, just go ahead. I booked my flight three days later so I can hang out with my family that I haven't seen him that long. And then he gets a call. He's like, oh, sorry, I have to, I have to go back to him. I got this call out of the suburban. He goes into call. And he runs back to us. He's like, I'm so sorry. You guys are going to have to walk yourself to the plane. Bradley Cooper just landed from Afghanistan. I was like, thank you, Bradley Cooper. I was like, tell him, I said, thank you. He was like, what? I was like, he'll get it later.

It was him and Dax Shepherd actually on that tour. And I figured out Dax was on it when I did his podcast. It was like nuts. And, yeah, he was just fresh off of hangover, I think, in that whole tour. So he flipped out. And then I got to spend like three days with my family that I haven't seen all that long go to the house that we fled from. And it was just, that's the way I dealt with it.

It's just like going there, seeing it with my own eyes. and just healing that way. That's what's really helped me throughout that whole process. Whoa. Yeah. Crazy, man. Yeah, it's just like I skipped so much. But yeah. I mean, yeah, this is not the last time you're going to be on here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so many stories, bro. There's so many stories. Now, there is something that we wanted to do with you before we left because we know that you're a connoisseur of hummus. So we have a little hummus taste test. No, you don't. I already hate it.

it. Who fucking made this? We have... We have a little hummus. Joey, can you bring in the hummus, please? Thank you so much. So we have a little hummus taste test for you. And, you know, once we will go through that.

Yeah, in your opinion, where is the best hummus from? Like, where can you find your hummus in New York City? Hummus. Yeah. First of all, how you're pronouncing it really hurts. I said hummus. I said hummus. Thank you so much.

I said hummus, you know, which I expected more from you at caution. How do you pronounce it? It's homos. It's a ha. Homos. I can't do it. It's humos. Homos.

Not homos. I don't know why you sound like Peewee Herwin old thing. Homos, her. That's how you all sounds at us. No, homo. Homos. Ha. Hammos.

Ha. Hamos. I did this with the Hanith. You could just say homos. You could just say homos. You can just say homas. Yeah, that's better. But you're adding more of a to it.

No, not. Homis. That's bad. I say the white way. It's perfect. Hummus. It's a white word? It's a white word.

It's definitely means chickpeas in Arabic. Hummus. No, hummus. That's what hummus. Cholet, that's what we call it. What is it? Chollet. First of all, this is all sacrilegious.

Why? You don't have hummus and Tupperware? No, not the tubberware part. The fact there's no garnish on it whatsoever. You guys are monsters. Absolute fucking monsters. You should be all disgusted with yourself. There's no olive oil on it on it, which makes you.

you fucking disgusting. Also, why'd you give me some goddamn carrots? Is there good hummus in New York City? We got some peanut. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so this is number one. First of all, that looks terrible.

Okay. It's all chunky and just like, it's not supposed to, what is this, peanut butter with fucking nuts? This is better. Number two. This is, whoever made this deserves to be whipped, 17 lashes, for sure. Okay.

Whoever thinks this is appropriate. It's just disgusting. And there's no, Stach for Allah. You shouldn't say this about food because it's food, so God forgive me, so it's really beautiful. Okay. Each one looks like that. worst than the other. Okay.

What is this? I feel like I'm in India. No, I'm just kidding. What is this? I made this one of my feet, to be honest with it. It's probably going to taste the best. Thank you. I appreciate it. You're welcome. All right. Here we go. All right. What am I supposed to be figuring out? Which one is the best?

Oh, my God. Are you all tricking me? There's no tricks in this. There's no tricks in this. Did Mossad set this up? Listen, anyway. It was beepers now. Oh, man. The papers are not funny.

Okay. Let me get it. Yeah. It's so terrible. Okay. That's terrible. Number one is terrible. It's so much garlic.

Okay. Too garlic. Okay. Is that what I'm doing? We have to look afterwards. We have to see afterwards. I'll try. Oh, my God.

You're saying this is two garages? Not bad. But is this, what about texture-wise? And what about... It's okay. Let me just give one more rep. We're converting them. It's very pasty, you know?

We prefer what? It's supposed to be like a creamy pause flavor and it's extra to it. It shouldn't be like glue. It's something kind of gluey. Got it, okay. This one has the most hope. Okay. Of all these.

Okay, let's go, let's go. All right, I'm trying. Relax. Yeah, see, see how this is moving around for you? I love this. I love this. This is good. You can just tell from how it's moving.

So we like the texture here. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I'm right. That one's good. No. Yeah, I don't know. Somebody poured fucking cumin on this.

So much cumin on this. God didn't think. What are you guys doing that? You can't even taste it? Okay. Oh, it's just like flooding. Number three. Oh, so much cumin.

This is for someone who's worried about gas. Can I ask you a question? I noticed you take very little bread when you do your tips. Yeah, because these are terrible. Okay. Yeah. It's not because I want to. Fair enough.

You're doing this as a dune. I'm also trying to watch my bread intake. I'm working. Fair enough. Fair enough. I have this whole thing. We would have had some carrots. All right. Oh, what's that?

That's fucking horrible. Horrible. What did you guys put in this? Oh, huh? Is there tea in this? I swear to God. That might be the one Indians means. No, no.

I don't like that one. That one I don't like. That one's not even, I don't know. All right. What about this one here? That's not real. Somebody was in a rush when they made that. Yeah, I like this one.

These two are the best one so far That's the best one That's quality I don't know what quality But it's the best one That's the best of these Double double check All right

Okay So that's one Okay number four You're going with number four What is number three? Hold on That's right This is number one for you

That was number two Three Four Yeah yeah Yeah that's right Let's look at number four Number four is Sabra

I'm joking. We're joking. We wrote Sabra on everybody. That's the how it works. I just did that for the cut. Okay, what is number four? Oh. Okay.

Number four is Salma, Mediterranean, Lebanese, restaurant, in the East Village. Number one is Sabra. Number two is Cedars. It's a Lebanese place. That's why, yep. So this is... So he picked the two Lebanese.

And then number three is Ithaca. That's the worst one we all agree. That's an American one. Yeah, of course it is. So I gotta give you credit. They put like fucking green tea in this or so shit. You did go... Wow, that's...

You did go one, two, three, four. Yeah. Wow. My man. Yeah. You thought it's a joke? You think I do these for the clicks? I do this for my history, my lineage, my culture.

Moe Armour, go check out the Netflix special right now, Wild World. This is your third, my third Netflix special. And I encourage you to watch season two also. And then check out season two of his show, Mo. Go do it right now. Thank you so much for coming and just sharing the story and just hanging, man. I really appreciate you. I really like this, man.

I've been looking forward to this for a minute, bro. Really dope. Love you, Doug. Thank you so much. Thank you, so much. That sobber thing is hilarious.