Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - NBA Cares...?

Episode Date: October 11, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: Jon Jones being a hoe, Schulz going to homie court, the NBA "caring" about China, JOKER conspiracies, Ben Simmons finally making a three, and much more. INDULGE!!! Want to listen to the full episode? Become a patron! www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2

Have you had a big argument yet? Yeah, but like she'll be fighting to agree. Like she'll be like, I don't know what else she'll say. Y'all never had like the fundamentally different opinion argument where you're like, no matter what you say, I'm not going to agree with you. No matter what she says, you're not going to agree with her. Yeah. Not had that. That don't exist to this guy.

Oh my gosh. Wait, why does that not exist? Nah, because you'll find a way to get her to agree. Look. It can't happen. He's convincing. I'm sorry. That's what I'm saying. That's not good.

Barack Obama, bro. That's not good. You got to give her some, bro. No, no, no, no. You got to take a few walks. I know. Sometimes she's going to go on base. No fucking.

I'm telling you, bro. Because you know what's gonna happen? You know what's gonna happen? I know Yeah but It's gonna build up If they're not good at arguing It's gonna build up Exactly

If they leave a loophole Nah Cause here's my thing When you right When you right I don't fight Like when I fucked up Or I'm wrong I don't fight

I go you're right I fucked up I'm sorry You're gonna know immediately I don't hold on to go, you're right. I fucked up. I'm sorry. You're going to know immediately. I don't hold on to it. But when I'm right, the ship going down. But here's the thing. All the time.

You know what your problem is? You know at UFC when they stop the fight. And you still punch? You still punch in. You're like, nah, fuck that. She can tap out and you're like, nah. You can catch this beating. Yo, you're not wrong. i don't like using the metaphor of beating women but like just in general with arguments like i yeah there's just submission

is important but i don't know it can't be like agree to disagree i don't know how to do that oh my god but again when she's right she's right Like when she's right She's right I don't mind Like you could bring up a point Or like I You know wasted your time Or something like that When I should have not

Wasted your time Like I was late Yeah you're right I fucked up my bad I'm sorry But once I fucked up And you say I fucked up How many times

We need to say I fucked up About four or five probably See See that's too many times But I feel like you would Make them say it four or five times If they fucked up Depends how convincing They are the first time I think it's time For times. But I feel like you would make them say it four or five times if they fucked up. Depends how convincing they are the first time.

I think it's time for homie court. I know you've never dated a black woman. Huh? I think it's time for homie court because I might have to bring Andrew to the stand. Hit it, kids. Our exchange earlier today. This is the greatest shit in the world. All right, go Alright go Go ahead

So he says that When he's wrong He just admits he's wrong And moves on So Andrew was supposed to Pack the equipment up last time Can you put this on the screen?

And I gave him Is the screen available? Nah I'll just read it I'll just read it So I gave him the list of the stuff He needed to pack So

The list He needed the cams Tripod And the recorder So I get to the list of the stuff he needed to pack. So the list that he needed, the cams, tripod, and the recorder. So I get to Brilliant Idiots today. I get to Brilliant Idiots today. And I'm like, everything's there but the recorder. I'm like, yo, where's the recorder? He's like, at the studio. I'm like, come on.

I listed that in the things to pack. You said you don't take the switcher, so we kept it there with the switcher i said the recorder he says stop crying because the way i was reading it was different it was like i said the recorder has nothing to do with the switcher he's like i'll go get. You're wasting my time crying. And then I reply, but when I fuck up, you cry about it for days.

You got it. And then he'd write one word messages. Solutions, period. Never cry, period. solutions, period. Never cry, period. Solutions, period. And I say, hmm, whatever you say, like right now,

period. Problem solved, period. Wait, is he writing period or he's putting the period? No, he's just putting the period. Very passive aggressive text messages. You're not supposed to use grammar? Use periods, yo. No, no.

You know that. Use periods. Fuck that. Sex messages are very passive aggressive, bro. That's a weird rule, man. It is, but you know that. I don't make the rules, bro. I didn't mean it that way.

I be hitting periods at the end. I didn't mean it that way. Somebody has to be a period. I'm like, fuck a dude. And so, mind you, this is... Let me give you the time. When I stopped texting, this was at 1259, and he was still going at 106.

And so I reply, LOL, dot, dot, dot, and I'm the one. Dot, dot, dot, passive-aggressive. Yes, there it goes. That's passive-aggressive. No, but now I'm giving him a little bit of it back, and I said, dot, dot, dot, LOL, and I'm the one who's crying he said that

stinks so now he he uh smoothed it over he's like oh i really don't think you're crying man i'm just fucking around uh i'll show be on time he says he's gonna go get the recorder i just want to acknowledge that i listed the recorder as the items that needed to be brought from the studio never wanted he'd be like oh yeah my bad it seemed like you fucked up the way i read it i don't know what no so here's here's the thing stop crying is so funny because you can't say shit after stop crying no without looking like you're crying exactly i'm like that was a cool one. So I was like, hmm, all right, you got it.

Stop crying. So here's the thing. Was I 100% wrong? No. No. I'm so crazy for your girl, son. Can I be honest, though? Can I be honest?

Yeah. All right. This is what happened. Let me read that. Da-da-da. Hey, guys. All right. This is how it went.

Da-da-da-da. So this is what's going on. Da-da-da. All right. Ready? And now the rebuttal. All right. 1250.

Where's the recorder? Then i go at studio he goes come on it's own text yeah because you fucked up but it's unnecessary come on man like it's all sex come on like solution solutions we need solutions bro let me try it guys let me try it come on like to me it's not like this like he was like like suck his teeth man hard like come on like that that's exactly how i told so and then he then he texts another thing i listed that as the things to pack i said then i go you said don't take the switcher so we kept it there with the switcher right that's me not acknowledging that i fucked up yes but trying to find an excuse why it made sense okay that's what that is exactly and then I'm now I'm about to be right again Ow! Okay. For the record, I don't think any of us thought

you were gonna come back and say it was okay. No, I didn't have it. I really didn't think he was gonna let that slide. It's not the delivery, it's just you. You ain't gonna stop it and I'm wrong. Every time you say that about your girl, I'm like, I would love to see that. Yo, I'm not allowed, she be getting me, bro.

She gets me, dude. Sometimes I'm wrong. Cause I'll be wrong. I'll be wrong. I'll be wrong, like I'll take her toothbrush. She'll be like, did you take my toothbrush? I'll be wrong. I'll be wrong. I'll be wrong. Like, I'll take your toothbrush. She'll be like, did you take my toothbrush? I'll be like, nah, I might have done that.

So what am I supposed to say? I didn't? You lost your toothbrush? You got to take your toothbrush. Went missing? That's something very easily. I would do that shit. I'd be like, yo, you fucked up somewhere.

I don't know, boo. You had boob bumps up in one place. You check your purse? Hey, man, check your purse. You might have put it in your purse. You might have needed it when you were eating all the time because you'd be eating all the fucking time. She's like, what?

What do you mean I'm eating all the time? Yeah, look at you. You know, like, goddamn. Let's talk about that. Why don't we talk about that? Why don't we talk about Why you need to brush your teeth Because you got So many fucking

Food stuck inside of them Oh my gosh Okay So You're wasting my time No no I said this Stop crying So

He goes He goes He said something back That I thought was pretty good He goes He goes Stop And this is how I knew he was crying

He goes He goes I go stop crying He goes Has nothing to do with the switcher The fact that you're crying right So So that's when I was like

I'll go get it Cause you admitted to me that you were crying I know you won't play this I know how it sounds I thought I could get out of it but I didn't I was wrong with this one Al

I'm sorry respect bro once you're admitted to go get it I know okay because he'll never go get it you know what it was I was already in an Uber On the way down

And I calculated By the time You gotta leave the fucking studio Go get parking You might not even be able To park here Yeah It'd be faster

If I just stayed in a car Yeah Cause I knew you did not Want to go get it Cause you knew where it was Yeah I think that's what annoyed me He goes

Yo where's the Where's the Oh I knew the answer To the question before Where's the recorder And I was like You know where the fucking recorder is knew where it was yeah you could have can you all get it? But instead, you were like, that was kind of passive aggressive. You were the one that's passive aggressive. I had to acknowledge that he fucked up. Your boy is bad. He had to acknowledge he fucked up. Your boy is bad. Cass,

come on, son. I'm just saying, bro. Come on, son. We had him for once. We had him for once.

We were just like, we were not gaping fucking all over. I was like, bro. He goes, son, you were passive aggressive. You were passive aggressive. You were passive aggressive. Yo, what's up?

This is Akash. That was a preview of our Patreon episode. If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com. Join the illest community on earth. Unless you're a social justice warrior, then you're just going to ruin the fun.