Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Neal Brennan’s 7 MONTH LONG DMT Trip

Episode Date: November 25, 2022

What's up people! Happy Thanksgiving! We had Neal Brennan on the show to talk about falling in love, his latest Netflix Special 'Blocks' and how DMT wrecked him. INDULGE! 00:00 - Trump v Biden - Neal thinks Biden wins 06:59 - Bottom tops, Oing noises 13:05 - Neal insults the studio 15:38 - Neal's DMs are different 19:39 - Falling in love - Neal does have feelings 27:53 - "Blocks" - jokes on divorces, retention & Schulz's help 34:25 - Neal doesn't want to risk having kids 45:12 - Correct techniques, blind musicians and bombing 54:28 - "Destroying" in stadiums - Fluffy, Rock, Hart 01:05:01 - Elevating specials - use all tools you can 01:09:17 - World Cup takes - Indian Neal Brennan joins in 01:16:43 - DMT & Ayahuasca - "my brain was drowning"

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. And today's guest needs absolutely no introduction. You've seen his brilliant comedy special, Three Mics. He's released yet another brilliant comedy special, Blocks. Okay, now, it's Neil Brennan in the building. Hey! So, I was doing a little bit of research, and your boy Trump is running. I think he's going to lose.

I just think people, he's going to, I think he'll win the Republican, the primary. Yeah, easily. Because he's got the people. Yeah. He's got a lot of, he's got the people within Republicans. He's better at running than everybody else. All he wanted, he just wanted a song. And he just wanted, you get a song. It's the only job where you get a song.

Okay. Other than like the heavyweight champ or wrestling. Wait, presidents get a song? You get the handle of the chain. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's cool. He just wanted the trappings. He barely did the job.

When people go, Joe Biden's not doing it. This motherfucker never left the residence. And then when he did, it was to play golf. Right. And he wasn't there. He was working from home before that was a thing. He was doing remote work. He did start that.

He's a trendsetter. Yeah, he was doing remote work. And people judged him. Yeah. And now they refuse to go back to golf. Yeah, exactly. He would just make a man of bread. That's all. You know, we're all doing work. And people judged him. Yeah. And now they refuse to go back to the office. Yeah, exactly. He would just make a man of bread. That's all.

You know, we're all doing it. That guy. Yeah. So I think he'll win the primary and he'll lose the general. Because I think people that gave him a chance, I'll get to that in a second. People that gave him a chance in 16 just were got exhausted um so and then my next thing is why is everyone so mad at joe biden okay actually i literally it baffled we did it they did a joke at snl uh that joe biden he's like i'm like plastic straws

i was great yeah and then at a certain point, everybody turns on me. Yeah. They treat Joe Biden the way they treat Scottie Pippen, where you're like, what are you fucking mad at Scottie Pippen for? Yeah. Half of Scottie Pippen's family is in wheelchairs. Yeah. His son just died.

Oh, no. Scottie Pippen strikes me as clinically depressed. His ex-wife is getting smoked out by Jordan's kid. And his wife gets smoked out, and the internet's cheering it. I'm like, this guy's a great fucking basketball player. Sorry he didn't want to play that one game. Yeah. But people love piling on Scottie Pippen.

He's the white Joe Biden. What's your take on Joe Biden? I don't think that people want to admit it, but they love the climate. So I think that people actually really like,you said earlier with Trump, it got exhausting. It's not that he was exhausting. It's just— He was, but yeah. I think he's entertaining.

I think that what he causes exhaustion is because you have to— He's Vince McMahon entertaining, though, which is Vince McMahon did us the—he would be on twice a week, maybe. And he was not on every episode. Yeah, and you're saying Trump is on every single day. Yeah, fucking every day. And everything you say, you have to react to. So the great thing about Biden, I think, and I think that nobody will admit this, but because he's checked out, it's okay that we're checked out. I don't think anyone really wants to be engaged in the political process.

I never. This is a job I never wanted. I never wanted. We used to never. I was telling Tom Papa a job I never wanted. I never wanted. We used to never, I was telling Tom Papa this, I knew Joe Rogan for 15 years, I never thought about his politics ever. Yeah.

I never thought about it. We won't talk about culture, that's fine, but politics is just boring, it's annoying. And now everybody's like, with Trump you're like forced to read because you want to be able

to discredit that guy. And also whenever the president is like looked at as stupid, it's so nice to feel like you're smarter than the most powerful person in the world. This was like the George Bush thing. Like you just got to dunk on this guy. So I think that we actually secretly love how calm everything is with Biden. It's like, I don't know who the governor of New York is.

That's crazy. I'm a New Yorker. I don't know who my own governor is. I didn't vote. It was Cuomo before. It was Cuomo. But he'm a New Yorker. Yeah. I don't know who my own governor is. Yeah. I didn't vote. It was Cuomo before. It was Cuomo. But he banged his way out. Yeah.

We don't even know if he got the pussy, bro. I don't think he did. I think he just grabbed it. I would hope so. He was like a bad. You would think that if he actually got fired for something. He's a real governor. Yeah.

Yeah. But if he was a real governor. He's a real governor. You know what I'm saying? So the Trump thing is, are people self-aware enough to realize they enjoy the climate? It's just normal. It's not on fire all the time. Exactly. And I think we did get exhausted with it being on fire. Now, Trump, the problem is like, you know how looking at your phone or looking at social media, you know is bad for you, but it's engaging as hell? That's the Trump effect,

right? Is that we know when he comes back and he starts saying all these things, we're like, this is bad. I'm going to have more anxiety. I'm going to have to learn about fucking abortion rights in every goddamn state so I can have an argument with like my fucking, my friend's mom about something stupid.

I'm going to have to know all these things that I really don't care about. Are we going to be self-aware enough to go, I'm exhausted by this. Let the dead guy get another four years. Yeah, fucking absolutely. Can you vote Let the dead guy get another four years. Yeah, fucking absolutely. Can you vote for a dead guy? Yes.

Yeah. Yes. Okay. Yeah, you can vote for a dead guy. But shouldn't that be his, not his slogan, no. I'm dead. I'm basically dead. But you can be too.

One foot in the grave, literally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, why wouldn't, yeah, But like, shouldn't he? I'm dead. I'm basically dead. But you can be too. One foot in the grave, literally. Yeah, like, why wouldn't, yeah, fucking, I don't, I think, you're right, people don't, if you ask people, what are you mad at them for? They're like, inflation. Look at worldwide inflation. It's fucking bad everywhere. Or look at gas prices. Yeah.

And you weren't mad when he was giving you that fucking money. Yeah, yeah. Which caused the inflation. You weren't mad when he was giving you that fucking money. Yeah. You weren't mad when he was giving the money and you weren't mad. He lowered prescription drug prices, a thing they couldn't do for 30 years. He didn't do shit. He's not here. Okay. I think he takes, not Ritalin, there's another one. I don't need to.

Yeah. But there's another one that you can take. He's on meth. It's methamphetamine. Yeah, yeah. There's one you can take that's not jittery and not. He's also been a weird dude. The meth describes the numbers thing.

Because that's how I would say numbers. A million, billions, trillions. Yeah, yeah. Like a toddler. He just learned numbers. That's how excited he is when he has to say something. He's just a weird dude. Yeah.

He's just like a, that guy was weird. He's been weird. Yeah. Like he wrote in a book, his wife died. And he wrote a biography. And in the biography, like his wife died. Like it happened. Yeah.

Right? But apparently there's – I remember reading a paragraph where he's talking about like how much they fucked. And it's like, dog, you don't got to tell me all this. But how much though? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a lot like three or four times he seems horny

like he seems like Greek people like Greek people oh really yeah wait wait exactly like Greek people well I

oh like hey hey look it up yeah check the emails how do you feel about anal I've never felt like

your arm was longer it's like a 3d movie isn't it that thing comes out you gotta i've literally never experienced anything like that yeah he's voldemort it's like fucking uncle sam how do you feel about it like a fucking ripley's believe it or not illusion you're like what right fucking you brought it up like how do you feel about it? As receiving, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a receiver. I do a joke in the act about having a finger in my butt.

Really? Yeah. I've had a couple fingers in my butt. Two at a time? I've never. No, I don't think so. I don't ask too many questions. Yeah.

I just let them, whatever they're going to do. I've never. Whenever it happens, I'm like, eh. I'm not, like, blown away by this. eh, I'm not like blown away by this. Like I'm not going to build my life around this. Neil, can I ask you a question? Go ahead. You don't strike me as someone who is blown away by anything.

So – This – no offense taken. Go ahead. So how do you know if you like something? If you're asking me, I. If your joy level is like a four. I went to a urologist 18 years ago. That's how long I've had erectile dysfunction. No, I'm kidding.

No, I told you the joke that on Chappelle's show, I had erectile dysfunction. And I was like, dude, I can't. Because it was so stressful. Yeah, you're editing 18 hours a day. No, man, we got to. it's because we're using laptops. Like, no, dummy, we're both fucking stressed to our, you're like a week from Africa. So, no.

So, but the urologist said. Where do white people go when we're stressed, man? Say again? Where do white people go when we're stressed? Yeah. I know, I know. Like, Ireland doesn't have the same ring to it. There's no motherland.

Where would you go? You know what? Germany. Wink. And cancel. So I'm not – I enjoy – and I'll give it a lot on an orgasm, and women like it. What does that mean? I'll go – I lot on an orgasm, and women like it. What does that mean? I'll go, I'll like, I will vocalize.

Oh, really? To reward. Say again? You're rewarding them. You're like, this is really good. No, I'm not doing it for them. The urologist that I was talking about that I went to, he was like, when you're having an orgasm, just really let it all go. Don't try to, so now I'm like, no, I'm kidding.

But I'm louder than you'd think. Even I think it's funny. Why do you have to let it out?. Don't try to, so now I'm like, no, no, I'm kidding. But I'm louder than you'd think. Even I think it's funny. Why do you have to let it out? I don't know. It could have just been his own personal preference. He's like,

we're leather. Looking back. Yeah. Look, I don't, I guess, put in a ball gag for me. Send me a pic.

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, maybe looking back, it's a little fishy. and then you just ran with it. And then since then, I've really gag for me. Send me a pic. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, maybe looking back, it's a little fishy. So that was his advice, and then you just ran with it. And then since then, I've really gone for it. Okay, so first orgasm after you got that advice, you really like exhale yoga class? I, yeah, I really went for it.

Well, it's great when a girl's screaming in your ear. Yeah, yeah. And you feel like you're going to. Okay, my boy. I see you now. I see you now. Okay, my boy. Okay, my boy. I see you now. I see you now. I see you now. I see you now.

I'm a friend of Schultz. I'm a friend of Schultz. You probably heard a lot about me. So, yeah, like, I'm willing... Like, it's fun. It's a fun time. It's like a reward. Sex is fun.

You think they like it when you yell in their ear, though. They do. Women always say they don't like it when a guy doesn't vocalize. Yeah. So, again, it's not crazy. It's like in character. What are some words that you would say? I don't like.

I always find it, the writing, as a person who knows how to write, I just find it embarrassing. I find most dirty talk and sexting embarrassing. Like, Levine, Adam Levine got popped for, like, you're so fucking hot. Meanwhile, any guy's text, any guy's sext in the history of sexting

is atrocious. Oh, you think they criticized him for bad sexting? Yeah. Not trying to name his onboarding style. No, that was part of it, but they were dunking on him for bad. I think you missed what was wrong with that

I think you're nitpicking what are your sounds how do you sound I'm not doing this

you guys are the guy like tell us a joke come on I'm literally never going to say the sound you guys can

act like you're not going to normalize that is it that's it I did say oh god why, why, one time. That was funny.

Just to be funny. Does it depend on the woman that you're with? Do you tailor it depending on your... Yeah, I'll throw on an IDS Mio. I'll mix it up. I'll go regional. Yeah, that kind of thing. That's a great question.

Yeah, exactly. That makes sense great question. Top of the hill. Yeah, exactly. That makes sense, actually. That's smart. No, but you don't make a noise? Yeah. Oh, good. All done. Great.

I don't think he's particularly sexually aggressive. Yeah, yeah. Wait, what do you mean? What do you mean? I'm aggressive. I'm on my back. Just because I'm on my back. Yeah, he says he's a bottom top.

I'm a bottom top. You like being on your back? I love being on my back. Yeah. Just because I'm on my back. Yeah, he says he's a bottom top. I'm a bottom top. You like being on your back? I love being on my back. Well, I've been doing a joke recently that, like, it's hard work to fuck for a guy. It's a fucking planks class. It's a fucking cardio class for however long you're doing it. And it's, women have no appreciation for it. None.

Because they get on top and they're like, this is hard. Yeah, no kidding, honey. I got to do a bit more cardio, bro. It ain't that. That's how I was getting fat. I was in Italy and I was in a push-up and I had to get down

to the elbows, dude. I'm not saying I can't do it. I had to get down to the elbows because it was too much. You did a girl's push-up. I was doing a girl's push-up. Yeah. I do.

I'm in decent shape. Schultz has seen it. Yeah. The bod is crazy, bro. I sent Schultz the bod is crazy bro I sent Schultz a topless at one point a nude a bod is crazy

that's true still had his blue bubble jacket on I've never seen him take that off how's the piece it's fine not bad no complaints no complaints

yeah what piece smooth your dick yeah oh yeah but you didn't send me your dick before no

yeah give it a time okay dude sorry man two more of these sorry bro I'm sorry you got. I'm sorry. You got the new set?

What'd you drop? 1,300 on this? Yeah, 1,500. He's been waiting to get that joke out. The second he saw it. I'm sure the real price is like 45 grand. 45 what? Grand.

What do you mean? 90? What are we talking about here? 90 for this? What is this? What are we doing right now? The bill. What are we doing right now? You don't want What is this? What are we doing right now? The bill. What are we doing right now?

You don't want to do this? What are we doing right now? $90,000 for this? Keep going. Yeah. Look how many lights alone. Look out the lights. Are you the builder?

What's going on? I was involved in the project, Neil. The lights. Can you count the lights for me? Whoa, is that real stained glass? Is that the sky? That's the sky. That's the sky. That's the sky.

We had to drill a hole through the top floor just to get that. Whoa. Wait, look, and make it go a little sunset? He did it. Okay, good.

Exactly. You think that's $90,000 right there? Am I at the Vatican right now? It feels that way, doesn't it? Where the fuck am I? How much was the Vatican? And adjust for sleep. Nobody knows.

One over one? Over 100? Well, yes, Neil. Great. Congratulations. Hey, thank you for making me feel bad. Hey, congrats. Which block is that?

Oh, boy, oh, boy. He said, aren't you surprised by how fucking expensive shit is? Isn't it all, everything's so fucking expensive. I'm always like, I hate how expensive it is.

I feel like he's saying he's so new money right now. No, no, no. No, no, no. But whenever you've got to do something like this. He just called it $1,300 and now he's like,

isn't shit expensive? I thought it was, I literally thought it was 45 grand, which would have been a lot of money. It's heartbreaking to me that you think that.

That it's only 45? Look at the plants. Well, I thought they were a sponsor. I thought today's episode was sponsored by plants. Enter promo code bottom top. Or whatever the fuck you called yourself.

Let's move on. They don't all hit. It's all right. Sit down. They don't all hit. I'll let you know when it... Schultz is giving me weird improv energy. Listen, I have to do it.

Don't put this on me. Don't put this to say my studio's 45 grand. That's a lot of money. Even the inflection in your voice made me believe that you didn't believe that. For you. There we go. I get why people think you're Jewish. 45 grand's a lot of money. Even the inflection in your voice made me believe that you didn't believe that. For you. There we go. I get why people think you're Jewish.

45 grand is a lot. It would be a lot of money. It is. It would be. Anyhow, so I don't sext. Now I'm literally asked girls. By the way, the DMs on this special are so goddamn funny. Really?

Let's go go there's some just like but then a lot of them are like hey I think you're autistic hot girl

I click watch the special I think you're autistic so are we meeting or not yeah they like that emotionally unavailable

intelligent yeah yeah it's alright but it's more diagnoses. Do you think that you're autistic? I don't think I am.

Or just numb? I could go either way. I think you present as spectrum, but it's actually numb. It depends how hot the girl is that told you that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If she says you're autistic and she's really hot, you're like, I'm autistic. I'm so fucking autistic.

How autistic do you want me to be? Let's go see a train set. I don't give a shit. Like, choo-choo. You got to meet my dinosaurs. I hope you like trains. I'll bring my friends. Do you watch the show, Love on the Spectrum?

I haven't watched it, no. Because there's a guy who loves the dinosaurs. Oh, that's so funny. And he's so adorable. They're all so adorable. People love that show. I never watch it. It's the best because you get to laugh with them. Oh, like they're sort of in on it? They're funny so adorable. People love that show. I never watched it. It's the best because you get to laugh with them.

Oh, like they're sort of in on it? They're funny. Yeah. And their whole family loves them and thinks they're funny, and they laugh at the funny things that they do. Somebody told me the funniest story about, so her brother has Down syndrome, and it was his 13th birthday,

and her mom made a birthday video with Black Eyed Peas' Let's Get Retarded. And the bass keeps running. Just straight up family video, Let's Get Retarded, for their Down Syndrome brother's fucking birthday. And did they? One of them did. Excellent. So if you're making jokes about it, it's fine. You can't have sex to that song, by the way.

That's actually a good note for you. You know that for a fact? You learned that the hard way? What happened? I knew someone that was conceived to Let's Get Retarded. Get out of here. And? They became a famous comedian named Neil Brennan.

Whoa! Okay. Whoa! Okay. Whoa! Hit with it, they don't all hit. Alex, do you ever hit them with it? You'll get it next time. You'll get it next time. Okay, so you don't care that Trump is running again.

No. It doesn't matter. I just think he's going to lose. Yeah. Yeah. And I think he's going to say it's right. People are, I was reading a thing like just, like Frank Lutz did one of those polls where he just asked people. Yeah.

And he's wrong all the time, but I do like when he just says what he goes. Yeah. And a guy said, a Trump voter said Trump broke America emotionally. Yeah. Which was like a very funny way to put it. And I also think the constant saying it was stolen and all that shit. It's like, only his

boys, the crazies believe it. And half of them are in jail. The thing about Trump is, you go to jail if you fuck with him. If you're close enough, like how close to Trump were you? How much time did you do? That's the closer you get, the more.

His fucking lawyer did two years. Yeah. It's insane. His guy's testifying today. Yeah. It's like he will bring you down. So basically it will be another one of those like we're voting for not Trump elections. Because you're not really voting for Biden.

You don't know what the fuck Biden is doing. But you're voting for like normalcy. And again, I think there fuck Biden is doing. Maybe you vote for him. But you're voting for normalcy. And again, I think there's so much put on. Vote to disengage. That's what it is. Yes. People are voting on charisma. But I think at this point, it's like, let me just, what's the normal, regular?

I don't care. I just know crazy. Yeah. It's like after you date a Puerto Rican girl. You just go, you know what? It's enough. A nice white girl gets along with her parents. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, yeah. That's a day job. Wait, are you dating right now? I mean. Is there a special girl in your life? There's no special. You ever hear Hedberg's joke?

No. I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a girl who'd be mad to hear me say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's how you feel? No, I'm not even that. I'm not even that. No one would be mad. Really?

Yeah. Okay. All right. I'm just saying. No, nothing? I mean, what are you asking me? I want to know if you love somebody, Neil. Oh, I don't love, I wasn't in love in February and March.

No, Valentine's Day. Is that when we met? Valentine's Day that when we met we had a little lunch you were closing a home your nice little home in santa monica no you got that new i'm not doing this real estate you got that new little home that was in june you got that tiny little tiny home that little tiny home that you got. I got a, no, I was in love February, March. And she didn't like the intimacy. Whoa. Isn't that weird? She said, get this, I was the most emotionally available person she'd ever dated, and she didn't like it. You were?

I was. So I don't know who she was dating. Oh, that's got to crush you. No, but I'm very, I didn't mind it because I fought a good fight. I never, yeah, I was just, I was cool. I never lost my temper. I was never, like, babyish. I never held a grudge.

I was just there. I was present. The feeling was amazing. She, like, we fell in love in, like, four dates. Where she was, like, she actually actually goes like, we're fucked. Really? Because she was moving. She moved.

I think she ended up moving in July. I don't really know for a fact, but she was supposed to. So long story short, and then. Live together? No. It was two months. So it was like. Was it healthy?

Was like the in and out healthy? The in I thought was healthy. The out, well, the out was, do you ever date a girl who is coming up with fake reasons why she doesn't want to date you? And you're just like, just say you don't want to date me. Don't say that I texted too much at dinner. It was one of those things, like, what? Because now she's giving you a complex. It's like, what?

You're just coming up with random shit? Isn't that better than being like, it's your personality? I agree, but the heat with which she was saying... I get that. I never say why. I don't think you should tell someone why you're breaking up with them. Oh, wait, why not?

Because it's a personal... You literally just were like, just say why. And now you're saying she did the right thing. I don't give them fake reasons. I just don't. I just, it doesn't work for me. Shit like that.

I think we're, I feel like I don't feel the same way. That type of thing. You can say that. Yeah, but say specifically what about the other person you don't like. I think it's mean because it's specific to me. Yeah, and that's not going to change. Yeah. Like, I don't, it's like I don't like your hair. Some people it's like, I don't like

your smell or whatever, like pheromones or like your habits, your job, your like, I don't know. I'm not going to make you feel shitty about it because it didn't work for me. Can I make an observation about you? I love it. Okay. Okay. You know how oftentimes. I feel like you just fell in love with me. No, no. I just— We get a single of him. Look at his pants. So, yeah, yeah, careful now. So the outside—oftentimes, like, outsiders make the greatest observations on, like, their community, right? We've spoken to this about, like, some of even the best comedians, right?

Like, you look at a guy like Rock, who obviously grew up in Brooklyn but then was able to go to, like, private school so he could also reflect on the life that he had in Brooklyn, but reflect on this public thing as well. Yeah, I don't think it was private. Or Catholic school or some shit. He went to public. He got bused to white public. Oh, white public.

Yeah. Eh, private. Private, yeah. And I wonder if you have all these great observations on humanity because you find yourself oftentimes outside of it. I would argue that's true. Yeah. Somebody, you know, when you have to log on to a website, like take a website and you

have to click, I'm not a robot, I just have to go to another website. Not that you're a robot, but like you're paying extra attention to the things that people are doing because it might take you a little bit longer to understand those emotional reactions. I'm really good at pattern recognition. Like crazy good at it. Like jokes, like popular jokes I've done that are like just pure pattern recognition where I'm like, eh. But what I learned in this relationship was, you know how women want to feel seen? They don't want to feel that seen.

They want to feel seen to a point. They want to feel seen in a way like a— Like show the face, but then the rest can be kind of— Well, no, I'm talking about, yeah, they want to cover it. Like, where are Parker? I think they figured it out. Parker, please. Just right.

I think it's wrong what's happening in Iran. What I mean is I think the women are wrong. I think it's wrong what's happening in Iran. What I mean is I think the women are wrong. The, yeah, like I'm good at observing, but women, I think, want you to notice what they want you to notice. They don't want you to notice all of their habits or all of their, anybody really.

It's like, you know, you guys know shit about each other that you can't believe. It's like, you just know each guys know shit about each other that you can't believe. It's like you just know each other so well. Yeah. But I think in a relationship, there's a part you almost have to not. You're married. Like, you have to not comment or pay attention or like, yeah, it's funny. Like, weird emotional habits somebody have.

You just have to go, yep. Yep. That's what's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want you to see me the way I see myself. Or the way I... My narrative self. See me as my narrative self. I try hard

and I'm underappreciated and I'm smart about all the things that you tell yourself, but don't see the terrible neurotic habits that I have that make me an awful person. Especially when you're the person whose opinion I care most about in the world. If you're my wife, I want you to see me as the person in the hero's journey, whatever. What is up?

Joseph Campbell. Yeah, Joseph Campbell. But Izzy said, player one style. Yeah. He's like, you're player one in your movie. And when your wife sees you as not that at all, yeah, that's devastating. Yeah. Yeah.

If your wife, I don't like, like, you know, when you start doing open mics and you're like, I'm going to bring a girl. And of course. You never brought a girl? You knew not to? I didn't even bring my friends, my family. I didn't want any of them to see me. Yeah, that's like psycho behavior. I was so concerned about, like, losing my status amongst the people that I really loved and cared about as a funny person because I wasn't funny on stage yet.

Like, I had such a dumb, insecure thought, but I was like. This was last year. Tag. Wham. End it. Bye guys. No, but like, I was like,

oh, if they see me being not funny on stage, will they think that I'm not funny in real life, you know? Oh yeah. And I mean, yeah, it was like,

I didn't want them to see it at all. That's like when a girl won't show you her driver's license because she's like, I look ugly in the picture. I'm like,

I'm looking at you right now. I see your actual face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So you were bringing girls to open mics? I mean, I wouldn't like...

You were also famous by then, too. Fucking super. I couldn't walk down the street. Why were you doing open mics? Because... You were a famous person. I used to remember you coming to the Boston...

People resent me. Yeah. For no reason. Well, there are many reasons. Yeah, there's a lot. You'll walk into a very expensive studio, save $45,000. That's a lot of money.

Can you do a poll? Your clothing. Comment, finally. I want to hear your comment. They'll resent back. What about it? Pink? Actually, you're killing it.

But there's always one thing off. Go. NBA socks. These are from Ross Dress for Less. But there's always one thing off. Go. NBA socks. These are from Ross Dress for Less. Does that help? Oh, shit. Oh, that makes perfect sense. What's wrong with NBA socks?

I mean, you've got like this chic, like tech guy. But I like that I, you know, keep, you know, I like other. You're still in the league. I'm in the league. I still, I get minutes. I deserve minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I deserve some money.

We need to get you some bird dogs. Yeah. What are those? You don't know about those? You haven't seen those? No, these are like the tech bro shoes. Oh, the bird? The shoes.

No, these are Pharrell Adidas, but they look like those birds, which I don't like. You're not into the bird dogs? No. All birds. All birds. Oh, all birds? All birds. It's right.

Bird dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. No. All birds. Oh, all birds? All birds. That's right. Bird dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. So I would go, and I remember I brought somebody. I ate shit. Well, first of all, a woman came to this show, to Blocks, when I was doing it off-Broadway. You came, Mark. Yeah, it was wonderful.

Yeah, thank you. Alex did, too. Oh, right. I didn't know you were there. Yeah. He got there. Yeah, thank you. Trust me, I would, right. I didn't know you were there. Yeah. He got there. Yeah, thank you. Interesting.

Trust me, I would have been excited if I knew there was a black person there. It's me. I was looking around. Yeah. They would always say, like, there are more black people here than normal. I'm like, yeah, just fucking, it's weird. If you go in the breakfast club, look up. A woman came to literally the worst show I had.

We'd gone out twice, and I think we'd slept together maybe. Never heard from her again. No. Yeah, which was fucking hilarious. I salute you. No. Did that badly. I mean, it wasn't that bad, but it's not like open mic moment.

It was just like a bit of a clanker. But the same show that we saw. Yeah. The thing that's on Netflix didn't really work. Never heard from her again. I feel like even if you bomb, your ideas are good, so it's interesting. Right. Like, I could feel like it's almost like a conversation at a cafe. She didn't agree with you. She felt a different way.

Really? Yes. She didn't even like the ending? I literally haven't heard from her. What about at the end when you move the block? Oh, what? It's a surprise. Yeah.

Okay, there's something at the end, retention. There's a Marvel preview. How certain are you with that? It was really funny. This is so funny. This shows a little bit of a generational thing. You came in earlier to the studio, and you're like, you know, it's really interesting.

Netflix called me, and they're like, people are watching it to the end. Right. And then immediately Mark and I are like, oh, well, yeah, you have a really good device for attention and there's different blogs they want to see or whatever. And you're like, oh yeah, I could see how that, you like by accident created a really good thing. Did you notice that? Did you, did you know that you completely by accident? Has anyone ever punched Schultz? 45 grand, motherfucker! Use that.

45 grand! You got him early, bro. Call Jake Paul. I'm going to fight Schultz. And yeah, I'm going to get on top. Hey! No, that was part of it. It was.

Yeah, I knew that there's really no incentive to – I remember having a conversation with Mulaney two specials ago for him. I go, are you closing with Buy the Cow? That was his great bit. When people go, why would you buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? And he's like, well, because the cow is putting a lot of pressure on you and all this stuff. It was about his ex-wife. And I said, are you going to close with it?

And he goes, no, I'm putting it like third. And I was like, why? And he goes, because people turn these things off. So I was thinking of a thing, like an ongoing little narrative throughout the show that people could follow. So it wasn't, you're not going to believe this, I thought of it before you. Before you and Mark told me about it in the rec room. Cut that.

I thought of it. But you inspired him to think of this. Yeah, we inspired you. It was an inception thing. Do you see Andrew as your muse? Yeah. I will say what Andrew is for me. And this is about to get a little faulty. Here we go. Swe was an inception thing. Do you see Andrew as your muse? Yeah. I will say what Andrew is for me. And this is,

I just got a little faulty. Here we go. Sweating a little bit. Schultz was one of the only, Schultz is like a Gerard Carmichael, but he'll pick up the phone. Schultz is like a Gerard Carmichael who will respond to your text.

I used to look at Gerard. Gerard with more time. Gerard, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has to keep coming out. I like you guys do that joke about him.

Like, second time he came out? No, you're helpful with like, you're younger. I literally didn't see him come out the first time. So it was the first time to me. And then you guys said that he came out. He'd already come out on The Breakfast Club. Is that how you're going to tell the story? Straight up, that's what I'm trying to give you credit for something.

You're insulting. Now you're like, I don't want it, boss. You're like a young person to me, even though you're not actually young. Sure. You're like more, you were like, we got to talk about though you're not actually young you're like more we gotta talk about your social media and it was helpful and it's been great by the way

because you always had jokes I have actual jokes what's the vehicle how do you put them in a way where people can digest them you had all these great bits and what I like about you is that you're like a real, I don't want to insult non-comedians,

but you're a real comedian in that I can speak to you in a way that it's not going to be sensitive. There's certain people I have to be very delicate. I was talking to some comics

in their 20s the other day. Why are you wasting? I think the first message was like, why would you waste this joke? Well, that's what people, I talk like that and people get offended.

And I was talking to people in their 20s comics, and they were like, no one ever talks to us like this. Because they're like, we can't take it. You've had enough ego deaths, I think, that you can't hurt his ego. You can't kill what's dead, you know what I mean? Ego death is die. I've been dead

for so long. I've also gotten pummeled by show business, so I'm just like yeah cool I don't expect anything good to happen so when somebody and also no one ever offers me tips and I'm constantly offering people tips

I reach out you're like a white giraffe who picks up the phone did Mulaney know you were going to make the joke about him in the special? yes he came he'd seen it and Gerardo picks up the phone. Yeah. I'm curious. Did Mulaney know you were going to make the joke about him in the special? Yes. He came. He'd seen it. Yeah.

And he was a bit like, when he saw it, I did Cosby, Louis, Ali Wong, because it's about comedians getting divorced. Yeah. Mulaney. Yeah. And so when he watched the, I sent him a link and he was like, did I, was it Cosby, Louis, me when I saw it? And I was like, no, Ali was in there. And I was like, and I bet it's hard.

I bet it's hard to hear that list. But it's so wrestling-y. Yeah. Like, I literally, like, I got one more. Yeah. And you guys give it to me straight. Mulaney, ah! And they're like, oh, my God.

You know, it's like a funny moment. But I think he was like, I'm sure it was like, I'm sure he like flinches a little. Yeah. Just because who wants to hear your divorce brought up? Yeah. That's your great friend. I mean, I wanted to get the word out.

Yeah. His whole act is about fucking his turmoil. Neil, you don't want... Every time we have lunch, you remind me that you're not going to have children. Yep. And I'm curious what your... He begs me.

I want you to. I want you to. But I'm curious, one, what your observation is on people with kids and what changes. Here's what I'll say. Yeah. Everyone I know who has kids fucking loves it. Yeah.

If we're talking about Mulaney, like Mulaney fucking loves having a kid. People I wouldn't think yeah uh would this is not millennial but like the people who maybe are like the most selfish or narcissistic all of a sudden are like starting to live for something else you never thought jerry seinfeld said yeah he fucking loves having like in a way that's like really surprised he said it opens up a part of your brain that you didn't know existed as a guy. It's just like a hard drive that you didn't – You have to put it in computer terms for me. A hard drive, you said.

Like a J9460? I just made that up. It sounded like a hard drive. Alex? I'm letting him up. Okay. It sounded like a hard drive. Alex? I'm letting him go. Come on. You can push through this. Come on, now.

You got it. It would have been fine if you hadn't. The only one who's actually bombed was him. Stop it. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. You've had some good ones too. Don't do that either. Don't do that either don't do that either

compliment or a diss from neil what do you think is it's the knee touch it's the knee touch look i love a lot of the stuff you're saying this is what it feels like to have a kid you know that neil you can touch my leg give me advice. Yeah. I just don't want to do it. But people who I consider myself somewhat temperamentally similar to love it. So there is a part of me that's like, eh. But the thing I talk about in the show, which is if I don't make the emotional connection, then I'm fucking the kid. I'm not fucking myself. Because as a dad, you just go like, I'm fucking them kid. I'm not fucking myself. Because as a dad, you just go like,

I'm fucking them over. You just go like, yeah, fine, I'll send them to school. You can throw money at it. You can throw like, what do you need? Yeah, hello, hey, FaceTime. So do those parents that we all know, do they just not have that connection? Because you're in Hollywood.

You see a lot of these parents who... Oh, no, but I know. Well, I don't... Oh, like the real narcissists? Do shitty dads also have that hard drive put in? I don't think so. They don't. My guess is they don't.

My guess is they think they kind of do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't think they really do. Because you have in the show, and I don't want to give it away, but you have this great bit about your relationship with dogs. Yes. And just dogs in general.

Which is like a fine relationship. Yeah, exactly. Are you concerned that will happen with a kid? Yeah. Yeah, so it makes sense that you wouldn't want to engage in that thing because, God forbid, you loved. Well, what is your relationship with your parents like? Because I just went to my mom's house, and it's like, and my sister's there, and my nephew, and it's kind of like, ah. It's like, it's just small talk.

Literally, it's like you get there, and it's like, how was traffic? What do you do? What's the special down the road? Don't have a kid, dude. Don't have a kid. I mean, there's no, there's nothing. It is a desert. Dude, I'm telling you.

Dude, it's just. Whoa, are you? Nothing. It is a desert. It's just. Well, are you. I just love you because you'll exist in the conversation and at the exact same time be like analyzing what's happening, even with your family. With my mother. With your mother. You're not just. Now, having said that, I feel my mom's old. So, like, I really.

She's moving. We went to her house it was sweet she showed me her like it was cute and like i felt real and this ain't bullshit yeah yeah but i mean i'm sure it sounds like yeah it feels like she's a real timber that's what it feels like maybe um but so i did feel and i do feel like she's 88 so it, you know, there's probably not a ton of years left. Yeah, yeah. So, because there's not a ton of years because I'm going to kill myself. Not even for her.

Long before she does. So there's not that, like, feeling. I guess some people describe when they go back home, like, there's this comfort. There's this ease. You know that these people love you unconditionally and because of that you can kind of be yourself. I don't exactly get that. I actually do get it with her

but the house itself is like where I grew up. My dad was a painter. You got a little trauma. Yeah, a little, yeah. You have nieces and nephews, right? I have a lot of nieces and nephews. How do you feel about them? I like them and I...

I like... Again, I like some of my brothers and sisters too. Some. But I like them because my brothers and sisters were actually good to me because I was the youngest. They'd take me to – I went to – my brother worked at Wrigley Field and the Chicago Stadium, so I went to like 100 Cubs games. Like no ticket, walk-in. I went to like 100 Cubs games, like no ticket, walk in. I used to go to Bulls games. I saw Michael Jordan get – it was so long ago. Michael Jordan got mistaken for someone else.

That's how long ago this was. A little white girl goes, are you Orlando Woolridge? And he made that face. It's like, you little motherfucker. Like Orlando Woolridge. It made that face like you little motherfucker like Orlando Woolridge it was his second year but he had but he got hurt in the first year whatever so uh so I used to go to Bulls games like so I and my brother Kevin's a comedian so I used to come here all the time and like got into would go to comedy clubs when I was in high school like, I'm grateful to them. So, if my nieces need tickets for Dave or John Mayer or, like, guys I know, it's a joy to get them tickets because they did it. Their parents did it for me.

So, like, I like that sort of. You like making them happy. I like reciprocating. I like being, like, you know. And you don't feel like that's a proxy for what your kids would feel like to you? A lot of Dave Chappelle tickets? Probably. Why did you guys stop doing that show?

I know. He's so funny. So, yeah, it might be, but I just don't want to risk it. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. So that's cool. So you see that people have kids, and then this different part of them is accessed.

I think the kind of love you have with a kid is you literally cannot get with someone who's not your kid. Very Greek. Very Greek. You're afraid, though, that you maybe wouldn't have them. And not having that would be, what, devastating? It would confirm that. Well, I just think it would be a a bad it'd be bad for the kid like everyone and i don't think they know it but i feel like you could fake it like i feel like you could

do the job i could but again like i could also like i said in the show i could be a good marine i know i just don't want to be a marine like i don't like i could fake it yeah but i never i get real pissy about my time. I just like my little... I like my dinosaurs. You know how I like it. I'm curious, do your other siblings in the lineup, depending on age, how much did that impact how much they wanted to have kids,

where they took their lives? Joey, Sheila, Tommy, Mary. A lot of the older ones, most of them have kids, except the ones that don't, three out of the bottom five don't. So, yeah. Good question. I'm six of seven, so I'm always curious. Okay. My parents had seven kids.

I'm number six, so almost the youngest. But you want children. Yeah, of course. Yeah. I'm very excited. But if my parents had three more kids, maybe that would be fucking weird. That's what it said. Yeah.

Wait, do they say that? It's so bad, and the be fucking weird. That's what it said. Yeah. He wants them so bad, and the sperm is bad. It doesn't taste good. He's back. Let me taste it. Here we are. He's back. So, yeah.

Did you get cauterized? Did you get, what is it called? Zapped up. Nah. What is it called? Cauterized, right? Vasectomy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank. What is it called? Caught around. Vasectomy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, the judges. The judges weighed in. No. No. Okay, so it could happen. I mean, look, anything's possible. Yeah.

But not likely. Yeah. All right, guys, we'll take a break for a second. Listen, lots of adults out here choose to use nicotine. But there's a right way and a wrong way to do it, okay? I'm telling you right now, if you are one of the millions of adults who are using nicotine, you know that not all products are the same,

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And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Now, let's get back to this. Also, guys, I need to tell you about some dates I got. December 1st, I'm going to be in Tempe, Arizona. And January 14th, super excited about this. I'm going to be at the Wilbur Theater. We will sell these tickets out. You need to get them now. And January 21st and 22nd, I'm going to be in Vegas. I'm not supposed to announce that, but I'm going to do it anyway.

Who cares? Get your tickets at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. Do you play with clitorises? What dinosaur is that? Yeah. Because he has. Yeah, I will play with clitorises. You will play with that. Did you watch the Orgasm documentary? No.

Orgasm Inc. on Netflix? No. They had a whole group, basically. Tim Ferriss went to it and wrote about it in one of his books. Oh, wow. Where the most sensitive part of the clitoris is upper. That's a clitoris, Neil? I deal with giant clitted women. Yeah. So this is a clitoris you know i deal with giant clitted women yeah um yeah so this is the clitoris

like this is where are they from looking at her she's so the most sensitive part is here on the clitoris so this it was called one touch and they would just rub that part and they said the pressure should be like turning the page on a book, which you've probably never done. Yeah, I don't understand. I don't know books. But turn the page on a book for 15 minutes straight. You have to rub it for 15. And you believe that they need to orgasm. It was a whole group.

In order to have the baby. And it was like effective. And would you do that? I've never done it, but it's good information to have. Yeah. I see. You are a robot. That's a robot here, right?

I downloaded the software up there, but. Okay, I need the info. Look, you guys, this guy's fucking his way to robot heaven. I don't know what that means. I couldn't, once I was in it, this robot fucking, I don't even know what to say. But it was confusing. And I'll say that, it had a spirit to it. You know what I mean't even know what to say. But it was confusing. And I'll say that. It had a spirit to it.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you get it. You should, not only don't cut it, repeat it. Yeah. Slow-mo. Do a picture-in-picture. It's good info.

I think a lot of pleasing a woman. Are you a munch? Uh, I know. Are you trying to hit me with like the cool new terms and I go, yeah, I'm a munch. And everybody laughs at the fat kid. No. No, dude. But are you though?

But are you? I'm not playing this game. No. Are you a munch? I'm not. Yeah. Let me do my orgasm noise for you guys. That's what I've been waiting for this whole time.

It's, I. I'm always the guy who eats pussy. Yeah, yeah. I can do that. Of course. The rapper Ice Spice. You thought I was feeling you? I know that these are.

I know Nicki Minaj is involved. I know, I see that. I just don't click on them. I know that there's, I know the information. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just getting to the point. I liked it when that guy called you out on saying mid. That was great.

Porno, yeah. I couldn't remember his name. I think going... That was amazing that you were able to find a moment where I looked like you look right now and immediately throw it back out at me. Your brain was operating at unbelievable speed right there. I'm talking, I'm touching knees,

and I'm fucking being defensive at the same time. You can't believe it. You wouldn't last a minute in here. The Pleasing Woman is a bit like an escape room, where you're just trying, like, here, no. Flipping keyboards, anything. Yeah, like, over here. escape room where you're just trying like here no flipping keyboards anything over here is this hotter

warmer pushing against no flipping so yeah but it gets easier once you've been

in the same escape room over and over right are you in the are you in the same escape room it's a wedding ring dogs you seen one of these before it's not like a does it take your heart rate and everything yeah no no no is that a lifestyle it's a whoop it's a who a wedding ring, dogs. You seen one of these before? It's not like a, does it take your heart rate and everything?

Yeah, no, no, no. Is that a lifestyle thing? It's a whoop wedding ring. Yeah, my sleep, terrible. How much helps out your blood oxygen level? Anyhow. I'm missing it. Oh, God.

It's not now, right? Is that your girlfriend? No, that's my lady. That's my wife. The, yeah, so. Will you ever negotiate? Like when a girl's like, I kind of like when my clit is played with like this. Are you ever like, well, it's better.

I like direction. No, I like, I think that you should. You like being corrected? Because sometimes that can be tricky. I don't see it as corrected. Like you're doing your thing knowing that it's 15 minutes of just like stoves. I don't do 15 minutes of that. Oh, no, never.

No, no. It's just not a good use of my time. I got shit I got to do. What, the doing Morse code? Yeah, I got to fucking update the fucking operating system. Yeah, I don't mind a note. Okay. Help.

I mean, it's your – it has to be specified. Yeah, I don't mind a note. Okay. I mean, it has to be specified. Yeah, for that. They're all generally the same, but then some will have shit that's like, oh, I wouldn't have done that. At all. Yeah. Yeah, because there's sometimes little maybe traumas built in. It's not even traumas. It's just some of them, if they use toys too much, you got to really go at it. Oh, it's fucked. You got to go. What about them if they use toys too much you gotta really go out

yeah you gotta go what about watching the porn during it have you ever had one of those not it wasn't i know no do you guys listen to music neil i'm gonna walk off this fucking podcast neil when you're fucking right okay when we're talking about yeah i thought that you were just having like a... Have you heard this music? Yeah. Have you guys heard this Stevie Wonder? I got a guy, Stevie Wonder, the music's not great, but he's blind.

So it's, you feel good when you listen to it. No, a girl got mad at me for listening to music when we were having it. She was like,

I've never listened to music before. I was like, what? Was Ray Charles blind too? He was. So how the fuck did he know he was in Georgia?

He's been sitting on that premise for 10, I mean, it just came to me right now. Terrible. We've empowered him too much. We've empowered him too much. Why would you do that?

I know that I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I Don't do that. Don't do that. That was good. The, yeah, so, yeah, the girl got on me about that. Rachel, you saw the movie, right, right? With the hole in the wrist to see if they're fat. Well, yeah, but I also like, you're like, this is an amazing performance, and then he takes it off, and you're like, oh, it's just Jamie Foxx.

Yeah. Doing an impression. Yeah. But before that, it's like a real movie. I was like, oh, it's Jamie Foxx. Yeah, but Jamie's also the most talented human being ever. Totally agree. Yeah. But before that, it's like a real movie. I was like, oh, it's Jamie. Yeah, but Jamie's also the most talented human being ever.

I totally agree. Yeah. Like, unbelievable. Unbelievable. He's so talented that when he plays Stevie Wonder, or he plays Ray Charles,

he plays Ray Charles, you're kind of like, oh, I like Stevie better. You know what I mean? Wait, you like Stevie? I'm sorry, you like... That's a very confusing answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who am I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Alex. Are you Alex? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Alex. Are you Alex? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Al, speak up. Or forever hold your peace. They all want the same.

I don't know, dude. They're so similar. How do you know what to wish? He doesn't stop out. Hashtag thoughtful racism. But no, I like Jamie better than Ray Charles. I'm like, oh, I like Jamie's music better. So you see him as an actor and you're like, yeah, I wish the movie was just about him.

Was about him doing his songs. Yeah, right? I don't think anybody feels that way. Yeah, I don Jamie's music better. So you see him as an actor, and you're like, yeah, I wish the movie was just about him. Was about him doing his songs. Yeah, right? I don't think anybody feels that way. Yeah, I don't know about that. I don't think a single person feels that way. That being said, I think Jamie is undeniably the most talented human being. Yeah.

It's crazy. Does impressions. He does funny walking impressions. He literally does an impression of OJ's walk that will fucking kill you. Where'd you see this? He did it in one of his specials. Oh.

He just does an OJ walk. You're like, how the fuck do you have an OJ walk? his specials. Oh. He just does an O.J. Walker. You're like, how the fuck do you know O.J. Walker? Yeah, he's unbelievable. He's unbelievable. Fantastic. Jamie Foxx. God bless. Friends? No. Really? I don't know him. I've met him a couple times. You guys never met? I'll see him sometimes. I think he thinks

me and Dave have beef, so he's always a little wary. Do people still think that? Some guys, yeah. Cat Williams thought me and Dave had beef, and I was like, no. Alex thought? Maybe it's black people think that you and Dave have beef. Yeah, it's fine. Maybe they know something I don't.

Can you tell the story about you said, go back to Africa, and then he fucking did it? Can you tell that story once and for all? All right. I've told it so many times. You never think they're going to do it. So, yeah.

So, Jamie's excellent. Ray Charles, you fucking clitorises. And who were you married to? You're young, right? Yeah, I'm 26. Why'd you get married so young? Because you young, right? Yeah, I'm 26. Why'd you get married so young? Because you're from Florida? Because I'm from Florida.

That's kind of part of it? Part of it. I also met a woman that I loved that I was like, hey, this is great and this is very stable and my life is good so I'll just keep this going.

And what does she do for work? She's a midwife. So she delivers babies. Jew babies only. Really? Specifically, yeah. Hasidic Jew babies. Yeah. So she's getting in early.

Yeah. Don't forget about... When the takeover happens, we'll be good. Why it's like Orthodox? Yeah, yeah. Got it. And I know a lot about Jewish people. Do you?

No, I just know just from Elon Gold, the comedian. I love him. He's like, he's reformed. He's something. Have you ever seen Elon? Okay, so there's a Jewish circuit as well for everybody who does no clue about this. And there's a few guys who are the kings of that circuit. Yeah.

Like Modi and Elon. Modi and Elon, yeah. And have you ever seen them do a show for an all-Jewish audience? Crush. You've seen it? Yeah. I want to go. Well, Elon does a Christmas

Eve show in LA, and it's all Jewish people, and it's harder, it's the hardest room ever, because all Jewish people think they're funny. So they're all like, like, they all think they're the funny ones in there.

So, like, they're watching, like, eh, you seem better. Oh, really? Yeah. So it's not like a crush. They do. He does. You ever see a guy who speaks Spanish crush in front? I remember I took my buddy Bijan, the editor.

Shout out to Bijan, editor of the Spell Show. All my specials burst, but he's excellent. Oh, by the way, I loved on your special how you all took editing credit. Yeah. Like, no, I got in on that. Yeah. Yeah, excellent. Great.

One minute per day. What do you mean? That's how long. Took one day per minute. Really? Yeah. Why? Because everything is intentional. Every little thing. I don't think you loaded. It? Because everything is intentional.

Every little thing. I don't think you load it. It shouldn't take that long. I mean, I would love it not to, but it was really specific. All right. Yeah. But Bijan came to a show Dave was doing and Fluffy, Gabe Iglesias, was on. And Fluffy did a punchline in Spanish.

And forget it. At an amphitheater. Crazy. In the Bay Area. Yeah. And my buddy looked at me and was like, he said something, couldn't hear him, because the screaming was so, but I'm assuming that's what, I've seen Elon crush like that with like a Yiddish reference, and I have no idea what they're talking about.

Yeah, yeah. But I like that. I like seeing like. I do too. Comedians in front of their, the audience that has their knowledge base as about. Yeah, yeah. But I like that. I like seeing comedians in front of their, the audience that has their knowledge base as well. Yeah. Right?

So like a lot of times it's fun, like when we work these bits out at clubs, like yeah, they're strangers, they might not know who we are and it makes our tongue really sharp and makes the jokes really great. But then taking those great jokes and putting them in front of the people

that know like 90% of the things you know, so you know everything's sticking. Like I remember even seeing like George Lopez's special back in the day. And it's just, and that's what Chris's was, bringing the pain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it was this, yeah, you get those magical moments where the audience and comedian, same page, and just eruptive.

Yeah. And it's like, on Bring the Pain, the camera shakes. I love that. I love that. You told me that story. It's fucking crazy. It's like Shea Stadium used to fucking move a little bit. And it was like, why is this moving?

Because they're crushing so hard. We were talking about this before the pod, but like Chris doing the special live, right? Chris Rock's doing a live Netflix special. Right. So his next special. It'll be the first of its kind. Yeah, it's going to be live.

And like, it's a tricky situation. One, it creates the urgency, which I'm sure that's the idea, which is, oh shit, anything could happen. We got to watch this live, which I'm sure Netflix is trying to do right now. It's like the toughest thing for them is getting people to watch, right? Yeah. Outside of like word of mouth, like if people start talking... I mean, all right,

I was messing with Robbie about this actually and I was like, yo, just tell your fucking boss, allow people to screenshot. You can't screenshot Netflix. Oh, so you can't meme it. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, this is the simplest thing, screenshot. Yeah.

It's like, I think it was Mr. Beast was on the pod, he's like, or maybe he texted me, but he's like, the only reason anybody knows Mandalorian is because Baby Yoda was every meme for six months. Yeah. And that's the biggest PR push you could possibly get. Yeah, you're right. And Netflix doesn't allow that. It's just like, let the fucking thing go out.

Well, you can take a picture of your screen. But that's a pain in the ass. Like, the Dahmer show, as big as that was, that would be every fucking meme. Yeah, most people watch on their phone. Exactly. Yeah. 100%. So, yeah. So, I'm curious. Okay, most people watch on their phone. Exactly. Yeah. 100%. So, yeah.

So, I'm curious. Okay, so they're trying to create some urgency. But as a comedian. I'd love for them to take your advice and piracy fucking skyrockets. Yeah, that'd be great. But I'm telling you, it's worth it. Tell your boss, it's all going to pay off. I just tank Netflix.

Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, I'm like, I think it's super ballsy to do. And I'm, like, for example. Well, to your point, he doesn't have a minute a day to edit it. That's a good point. Fuck, so it's just edited right there. So it's not—it's a live cut. I would assume the guy who's directing it is a guy named Marty Colner who's done a ton of live stuff.

But he should also do Chris's show. He'll do—yeah, no, he'll, I'm sure they'll recut it. No, no, I mean like he should go to Chris's shows with more or less the same camera setup so he knows where to push in on certain jokes.

I'm sure he will. Okay. Like, by the way, have you seen Kevin Hart's show? Kevin Hart's show? His arena show that he's doing? No.

He has, he's got six cameras. Yeah. But he has, like, they know where to cut. This is fucking what we want to do. They know when to cut. And you just have to rehearse it twice. So we did, we went to BTS, right?

Yeah. Do you know that Korean pop band, right? Do I? And the point was, like, how do you entertain a stadium of people? Yeah. And how do you keep them locked in, right? And it's exactly what they did. The whole thing is choreographed to the cameras, and the whole thing plays out on the screens.

Yeah, Kevin has push-ins. Yeah. And you just got to know where the bits are. He does the thing where he shits in his hand. They cut to it. So he's, like, got his – and I was like, yeah. And he's like, yeah. Yeah, that's smart. Yeah, like, it's he rehearsing. was like, yeah. And he's like, yeah. Yeah, that's smart.

Yeah. Like it's he rehearsing. Yeah. And you need to for a place that size. Yeah. We had, we had Huberman on. Do you know Dr. Huberman? I know the name.

Yeah. You've probably seen stuff. He's a neurologist and he's got all this stuff. He's the one that's telling everybody you got to get sunlight first thing in the morning. Oh, I've seen, yeah. I think I followed him recently. Brilliant dude. And we were asking him just like him just about story in general.

I'm kind of obsessed with story. And he goes, so here's the thing. I don't know why stories are so impactful, but I do know one thing. They've done tests on stories where they'll have entire groups watch a story or listen to a story. And all I can tell you is the data shows that the entire group is having the same emotional upticks at the same exact time while they're watching the story. And that's different than just giving a speech with a premise or whatever. When something is built into story,

the same emotional reaction is happening at the same time. Yeah. And I think that's- That's what music does too. Music in, like I score the end of my closing monologue is there's music under it and it just makes it more effective. James Blake is a friend of mine, gave me a song, and it makes it way better.

I mean, that's the trick with music. You can trick an audience with music and make it seem like, but you can almost cue where they're going to cry. It's not even trick. No, it's cueing them. Yeah, yeah. They're going to cry. It's not even a trick. It's like you can just like.

No, it's cueing them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not. But you think that there should be like a camera in the, is it about the camera work? Well, what they did is the whole show is choreographed. So you really watch the show on these massive screens behind. And it creates that intimacy that you don't have when you're back here.

Now, music has that reaction baked in when a song is crescendoing everybody's feelings. Well, you ever go to a concert and you're back here. Now, music has that reaction baked in when a song is crescendoing everybody's feelings. Well, you ever go to a concert and you're like, these motherfuckers. Like, the responses they get. It's crazy. Lights out. It's crazy.

There's like a vocabulary. People know what to do. Yeah. I say what city I'm in. You guys all cheer. I mention I bring out a special guest. If you don't care, you cheer. Like, just all, like, it's all tricks.

Yeah. And people are really into it. Yeah, they want a way that's completely outsized from what we get because people, because music goes to a different part of people. Like a crazy, an unconscious part of, nonverbal. But I think story taps into a little bit of that. Absolutely. And I think that's why like,

and I'm sure you've noticed this, when you're in a big venue doing jokes, there are certain jokes that you have that are stories and there's certain jokes that you have are like, you know, premise, you know, punchline, right? The story holds attention in a way, right? Like, you create that information gap, and the audience, doesn't matter how many of them are there, they're like, wait a minute, where's he going with this? What's going to happen here? I need to know exactly what's going to happen. They're leaning in, just like

you did right there. Whereas, like, with the premise, it's like, okay, you might trick me, or this is interesting, but I don't need to know. I know what kind of, I know what genre I'm in, and it's going to be over quickly, so I can just check out. Yeah, and it's no surprise to me. I think you even pointed that out. Maybe it was the other day, which is, like, you look at guys like Kevin, who are storytellers, and they can hold that space.

Or Dave. Storyteller. who are storytellers, and they can hold that space. Or Dave. Storytelling. I mean, he had storytelling cues when we were 19. Your fucking Mark Twain thing. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. There is a story that you're telling, and you feel it, right? You feel the whole room on the same exact page. Yeah. It's kind of special, man. It's great. It's amazing. I mean, do you tell any stories?

Yeah. The thing at the end the Netflix stories like I sit down you sit down a lot but it's like I don't have I mean I have like

storytelling cues just from telling stories to people but like Snoop's really good at telling stories yeah where I go like

alright now watch this just like little fucking flourishes and it's fun it's fun. It's a different, you can hear a pin drop. Yeah.

Because people are like, and then so-and-so comes. Like, it's great. Yeah. It's a different thing. Which is what you need when you get into these big venues. You need everybody's attention held because it's so easy to be distracted. You know, like we were watching, we were in a big venue the other day where we were watching someone, and you could hear people start to have conversations.

And there's no fucking usher to tell them to shut up. Yeah. You can't even hear them. They're so fucking far away. So it's like, how do you, how do you make them talking feel inconvenient to the people around them? You could be at an arena show and if your tickets are not good, you, it's almost like the TV is on. Yep. And it's playing Kev or whoever you go, a comic who does arenas.

I think you're right to include that. Dave had a good observation a long time ago, which is he would put himself in every premise. Yes. It's not like, did you see what's happening at the grocery store? Yeah. Sebastian's really good at that, too. Louie, too.

Yeah. Yeah. He – I'm at the grocery store. I went to the store. Yeah. He said to me – and it's like, it just makes it more – Yeah, it becomes that story, that experience.

You need to see what fucking happened. Yeah. And in an arena, you're right. You do have to – I mean, I'm like – if I – when I do another special, I'm going to have more video than has been classically acceptable. Really? There's no downside. Yeah. I mean, the video in this one's crazy and informative.

Yeah. But I don't know. There was a cut I did where when I talk about dogs, I cut to my dog. Yeah. Just for like three seconds. Yeah. But if you do it with everything, you can almost do it. I mean, I got ideas where it's like I would front load it and then talk, whatever.

But I don't – the idea of doing a stand-up special that's just me on stage talking is just a little feels like passe yeah it just feels like yeah what do some you can do more you just do more than that than just like me than i and i don't like shows where they cut to the they did they tried a couple of them where they cut to like illustrations of jokes the joke coming out yeah which is like necessarily do that it needs still needs to be like theater of the mind. Yeah. But you can soup it a little. I mean, show it. I mean, use the media if you have it.

Yeah. 100%. And if it aids the joke in any way, I think that's great, especially if it's like this real story. I mean, what's it called? Sal Minhaj has had a lot of success with this. For sure. Right? Yeah. Yeah, I think that sometimes like comics, we're so worried about, like, what other comics will think.

Oh, I believe that there was a class of comics that worked the cellar who refused to move on stage. Because it was, like, horny. It's hacky of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he walked. Yeah, how dare he? He, like, did act outs, like a queer.

Yeah. Like, it was just a bad habit. Yeah. That we all get, like, shame. We shame each other for, like. And the game can't evolve. Yeah. And sometimes you suggest things, you try things, and they suck.

And we all make fun of ourselves for it. It is what the fuck it is. Yeah. But sometimes, did we just walk, Mark? Yeah, I'm out. We just walked, Mark. I'm going to walk on stage if I want to, okay? But, like, yeah, having that, I don't know, having that extra gear,

that's why I think it's cool what you're doing because all these things exist. Like, when I tried to tell people about the show, I'm like, yeah, you have to understand, it's great stand-up throughout. Like, you could be on stage at a theater just doing your hour with no blocks. I did.

I did it in 20 places. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, for me, when I'm looking, and I always explain this to people, it's like the hour has to kill in the beginning. Yeah. We can add the antics and fun for the audience after the hour murders. Yeah.

This other stuff isn't covering up the fact that it's not funny. No, it's not like. It's elevating it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It makes it more of like, transcendence is a big word, but But just make it as good as you fucking can. Just use every weapon you have. Yes, yes. To make it.

Because people can watch everything that's ever been recorded now. Yeah, yeah. Fucking everything. So if I can do more than just stand there. It's the thing I've said on other podcasts, but Eddie Murphy told Chris, the reason Chris paces is because Eddie Murphy told Chris, if you stay in one place, the audience knows where you are.

So they don't even have to look at you. They can just look at their phone. I mean, this is before phones, but it used to be their drink or whatever. But if you're pacing, there's just the human dynamic of, is this person going to fuck with me? Yeah. So you have to watch.

Yeah. What I think you should do is get one of those little buddy things, because you like to sit down, right? In a smaller space, yeah. In a bigger space, I like to fill the room a bit. Right. Oh, yeah, you didn't sit in your special. No. in a smaller space yeah in a bigger space I like to fill the room a bit right oh yeah you didn't sit in your special

no but in a in like a small club I kind of like to pull everything in yeah I like to even be like really small

because I want it to I guess see if it works exactly yeah I want to be as small as possible no I don't want to act anything out I mean be like quiet and like this is something

I kind of picked up from Chris to be honest I would see Chris working out and it wasn't like Chris rockified. He doesn't put anything on it. Yeah, and I was like, man, why is he doing it? And then I think someone told me he was like, he wants to make sure it works.

Yeah. And once it kills like that, put the sauce on it. Yeah. What up, everybody? We're in different clothing right now, and Neil had to step out for one moment, and look who we replaced him with. I'm back, baby.

Look at that. We got the Sing Sing in the building. That's good. We had to bring back Akash so we could talk about the greatest World Cup in the world. The real greatest World Cup. Not this cricket one. The real greatest World Cup. Which is the World Cup of Soccer.

India's going to win. That, yeah, maybe. It's a hot take. Are they in it? Definitely a hot take. India's going to win that yeah maybe definitely hot take England is pretty good this year like I said India's going to win because the prime minister is Indian you cucks that is the best payback right there

what is that they cucked them and now it's, I'm running your shit right now. That is kind of it. I know. I relate. That is kind of it. I relate to Barack. Yeah, yeah.

That's fire. That's fire. Okay, well, that's a good take. Listen, we're big soccer fans here. Ronaldo, Messi, Suarez. Come on, bro. Mbappe. Mbappe.

You know what I mean? Pulisic. Mo Salah. Mo Salah. Benzema. Benzema. Mordovic. Mordovic.

Yeah, Mordovic. Mordovic. What's up? From Croatia. Midfield. Name a player. I'll tell. Midfield. Name a player. I'll tell you a position. Name any player.

I'll tell you a position. Luis Suarez. Striker. Karim Benzema. Striker. Virgil van Dijk. Oh, defense. Trent Alexander-Arnold.

Oh, great midfielder. Great midfielder. Defense. Marcelo. I know his defense. I don't know why I didn't fucking... Oh, that's defense. Youo. I knew it was defense. I don't know why I didn't fucking... Oh, that's defense. You got to trust your heart, bro.

I didn't know why I didn't trust it. Defense. Marcelo, defense. Yeah. Leo Messi. Oh, definitely striker, bro. Come on. Sergio Roberto.

Is he Brazilian? No. Spanish. I don't know. What position? D. Defense, yeah. Neymar.

I'm impressed, dude. Neymar. Come on, yeah. Name more. I'm impressed, dude. Neymar. Come on, bro. Come on, Neymar, striker. Do you only know striker and defender? That's the only ones y'all are saying. You don't know a single midfielder. I can name those girls for a day.

Modric. Modric, midfield. Duh. Andre Saniesta, midfield. Duh. I literally know every position of anybody who's ever played soccer. Schweinsteiger. Schweinsteiger. Come on, bro. Striker, dog. Boateng. field duh i literally know every position of anybody who's ever played soccer fine tiger come on bro striker dog bo tang uh bo tang defense alaba do you know this i'm right why don't you

know you're wearing a whole soccer shirt i gotta look at what i don't know every fucking position how do i know more positions he you, sir? He doesn't know all the positions. How do I know more positions than you? Mueller. Say what? Mueller. Oh, sorry. Mueller. You really are not a fan, though. Mark is like a girl who loves football. They don't know shit about you.

She just loves to go, whoo! What about football like Akash knew about India, bro? Yeah. Both of you are sad, pathetic people. I agree with that. I don't want to have all day to be fucking watching games and shit. Don't want to have all day. People dabbling about shit you don't fucking know.

I've had enough of it. All right, say one more player. I guarantee I get it right. Say one more player. Pele. Pele? Yeah. Come on, son.

Nanny or something that Brazilians do pretty well. All right, who do you think wins the World Cup? Say what? Who wins? Oh, US is taking it this year. Who's a close second? Say again? Who wins? Oh, U.S. is taking it this year. Who's a close second? Say again? Who's second?

Close second is probably U.S. too. All right. Who's a far third? Third, I'd probably put U.S. You're missing? Yeah. Does anybody matter? Who is the U.S. beating in the championship game?

They don't have to beat themselves. Yeah, we beat ourselves. I can only really see. If we lose, it was because we were in our head. Exactly. So we just beat ourselves. So yeah, yeah, yeah. U.S.

U.S. got it this year, man. Matter of fact, if you put money down, you could do that shit with BetOnline. Did you know that? What? Yeah. You can do it, BetOnline. BetOnline.ag. And they're going to match your initial deposit bonus, 50% of it.

They're going to match it. How much are you going to put down on U.S. Do you have to use a promo code? I'm putting at least, well, listen, they're going to match 50% up to $1,000. So I'm going to put $1,000 in. That's $500 extra to gamble to win on USN. How do you get the, do you have to put a promo code or something? Yeah, you got to put the promo code flagrant.

Bro, you can put at least 10K probably. Say again? If you put 10K, it looks like the money line is like, you could stand to win hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yeah, I'll probably do that. Yeah, put the value of like two Bitcoin, and then you don't lose as much when you're at the end dollars. Yeah, I'll probably do that. Yeah, put the value of two Bitcoin, and then you don't lose as much when you win. I'll probably do that, to be honest with you.

By the end of the World Cup, you won't lose as much. I'm literally probably going to do that. There you go. I'm going to do that. You should bet Mark on France and USA. Oh. They're not going to play each other. I don't know how that works, but I get it. They're not going to play each other. I don't know how that works, but I get it.

They're not going to play each other. Who gets farther? France has a way bigger advantage, but it would be way more fun if France loses. How do they got an advantage? Oh, yo, you should take that bet. Mark gives you odds. Like five or three or whatever. I don't want no pussy-ass odds.

You just want straight up? Yeah. I'm a man. I do straight up bets. Exactly. Okay, what's the bet? BetOnline gives you odds, though. Parlay's up.

Yeah, pussy. You want to go make tons of money, go to BetOnline. Okay, there you the bet? BetOnline gives you odds, though. Parleys are pussy. You want to go make tons of money, go to BetOnline. Okay, there you go. All right? If you're trying to make tons of money and be rich, go to BetOnline. Come on, son. If you're trying to bet your boy and lose money off of straight pride, then do what I'm about to do right now.

USA versus France. Yo, $1,000. I'll give you odds, bitch boy. Bitch, bitch. Bitch boy. I'll give you odds right now. Okay, go. I I give you odds right now. I give you odds right now. You saw if you take odds, bro.

You want odds? Take odds. You want odds? Take odds. You want odds? That gets me out of this word thing. You want some odds? Take odds.

You want some motherfucking odds? He's a little beach boy right here, boy. He's a little beach boy. He's a little beach boy right here. You want some odds, beach boy? Take odds. Go, go, go. Go, go. Take 10-1 odds. You want some odds? So funny. 3-. Go, go, go. Go, go.

Take him to one odds. You want some odds? It was so funny. Three to one. I give you three to one odds. Three to one odds. Four to one. I give you evens.

What does that mean? I give you evens. We go four to one. I give you evens. Four to one evens. Oh, y'all don't understand how to gamble, bro? No, I don't. Explain it to me.

What does this mean? I'm giving you three to one, bro. You know how when you sign up on BetOnline, they give you a match half the day? There's different odds for different bets. I'm giving you three to one, bro. You know how when you sign up on BetOnline, they give you a match half the thing? I'm giving you three to one. Okay. Okay. Do you want three to one or not? Yes. Okay. Let's do it. That's perfect. Do you know what that even means? I'm signed up.

It means three to one. How much you been? At least $100. I don't know how to do it with $100. I know how to do it with one and three at least. Okay. Let's do $3. All right, bet. I think you got to bet one, bro. I think you got to bet one and I'll bet three.

Okay, I'll bet one. Otherwise, if you really want to know how this works, you can go to betonline.ag. But if you just want to do it with the math with me, you got to bet one and I'm going to bet three. And I think if I win, you got to give me that dollar, peace boy. I do think that. If I win, you're going to bet three. And I think if I win, you got to give me that dollar, beach boy. Mm-hmm.

I do think that. If I win, you're going to give me $3? That sounds crazy right now, son. Is that what odds are? You telling me Bellarmine is offering odds? Son, they be offering odds

and parlays and all kinds of shit. Holy shay. That's crazy. I know. Holy shay. I know. Holy shay. You got a good deal, bro.

I know. It seems like pretty good. Did we make that bet? It's done. That shit. You got a good deal, bro. I know. It seems like pretty good. Did we make that bet? It's done. That's a done deal. God damn, bro. I'll see you at the finish line. Yeah, you will.

Where's Neil? I don't know, man. We should get back to Neil, bro. I got to go. All right. Peace. Peace. Do you want to talk about the pod a little bit?

Oh, yeah. Well, I'm starting a pod where I'm to go. All right. Peace. Do you want to talk about the pod a little bit? Oh, yeah. Well, I'm starting a pod where I'm going to – my show is called Blocks because they're like blocks of – they're the parts of me that feel like – make me feel like something's wrong with me or like I'm isolated in the world or I'm different or weird or whatever. But I'm going to have people on talk about what their blocks are. Even if they've overcome them. If they were an alcoholic, we can talk about that. Whatever, whatever. It'll be funny. I'll get good people.

We talked about drugs a little bit before when we were out there. You mentioned the special that DMT hurts you. I go on record. I still got the anklet on that you guys sh shot on last year. Yeah. It's still there.

You covered it up, though, so a little insecure. That's an accident because I wanted you guys to see my NBA socks. I did a bunch of ayahuasca. Excellent. Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing. You believed in God after? Yeah, literally was an atheist before, had a God experience. I was like, okay.

literally was an atheist before, had a God experience. I was like, okay. I was here and I wasn't going to regular ayahuasca circles because I don't know. I knew of one here, but it just wasn't good. So somebody offered me a thing called Bufo, which is the thing Mike Tyson talks about, the toad. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Five MEO DMT.

It's like supercharged DMT. Even DMT is crazy. And 5-MeO is like the absolute crack, like nuclear bomb of psychedelics. So I was against my better – it always sounded too severe to me. And I was like, I went against my better judgment and did it and it was too severe for me. What happened?

When you first do it, they say a guy named Michael Pollan who wrote a book called How to Change Your Mind he said that it's like going to before the Big Bang. And that's exactly where I went.

And it was, I didn't understand direction, breathing. I didn't know, I was a, I think I was like an amoeba. It was fucking insane. I like felt myself form the first synapse. Like, insane shit, right? Were you scared in the moment? Like, are you even able to process fear? I was trying to comprehend what was happening.

And your brain, I told somebody, it was like drowning on incomprehensibility. Imagine your brain i told somebody was like drowning on incomprehensibility imagine your brain drowning on trying to comprehend and orientate or orient yourself see your hands your hands are close your eyes are your hands are close uh i'm sometimes i act up guys no uh your eyes are close so you're you're out you're like out you're like under it you're like under so to speak how long um the first time is you inhale and you're out for like 20 you're like like you ever do whippets oh yeah it's like whippets but whippets is like nine seconds yeah yeah this is like like, for some people, it's five minutes. For some people,

it's, for me, it was 20. But within the 20, it's less disorienting in that like you slowly, your personality comes back. And you're unconscious that whole time?

Yeah. What the fuck? Jesus. So it's wild. You can look it up on YouTube. So never again. Some people scream during it. Some people fight.

Some people have to get hold. I was just laying there. No surprise. Let's be honest. I wouldn't do it if you offer me $1 billion. Literally, because what happened was, so I had that experience, which was like wild, but like, okay. I inhaled at eight i was walking home at nine like all right this is but the thing that happened was there's a thing

called a reactivation where like they used to call like acid flashbacks or whatever yeah reactivation where you go kind of back into it i it happened to me a six days later for For how long? Two days. Dude, it was, I told Rogan I would have killed myself. I was halfway between alive and in the infinite. So I'm on a coffee date and I literally am like, my consciousness is disintegrating. Like, I'm looking at this woman and it's like static on the right side. Like, insane. Did you tell her?

No. You just thugged it out? It's kind of hard to explain, right? Yeah, it's like, I knew I couldn't talk to a therapist. I knew I was so far beyond comprehension that it's like people say, like, you 35 000 foot view of life i had a 35 trillion foot view i was so far out and so aware of how old the earth was how old the universe is that i couldn't watch uh apple's apple tv screensavers like mountains and shit i was like no i can't look at this shit like i literally couldn't for that lasted months the two days was so disorienting where i was like am i in god's imagination i it felt like i was like it was like in casino the

credit sequence of casino where he's just like spinning around and I'm in the city. It's a Sunday, Monday and I just was like calling people I knew. I had the thought. It's really kind of bleak, but I was like, I would kill myself. This is so disorienting. I would kill myself, but I know

I'm just going into more of it. Because killing yourself isn't even relief. It's not a reproach. It would have been completing where I was. It's permanence. It's committing to the eternal. To the thing that you hate the most. It's not even I hate.

Stating a lot was your only option. Right. It's just incomprehensible. It's not comprehensible. Like, I was in a, I don't know where this, where I thought this or dreamt this, or maybe it was in the DMT, like, window, the 10-minute window. Yeah. Where it's, like, God is there, like, a God force, the central creation beam of the universe.

Force. Not a person. A person couldn't make a black hole. It's a force. not a person, a person couldn't make a black hole. It's a force. I felt it. I saw it as like a black monolith that was like tilted like this, like, and I'm down here and it was like, and I looked, there was another person there and I was like, this is God. And they knew, yeah, this is God. And then we both get like a, like a force from the force. Our brains are wiped.

And I'm like, what are you? What am I? I'm getting the chills talking about it. What's anything? Like so far beyond anything a human being should experience. For real. Here's the, so I got 1% better every day. Ironically enough.

Literally, like, I just knew. And one time I went to the dentist, did laughing gas, had to start over. No. Like, literally, like, inhaled, went like, all right, we got to stop real quick. Because I went to the white place. Not Applebee's. Hashtag Thel for racism. I went to that place and was like, all right, can we just take a break real quick?

But I got a little better every day. And I was pretty fully recovered, was fully recovered by like May, June. This was last November. So it took maybe more. It took seven months whoa before i was now here's the punch line i'm better i'm better than i was last october uh emotionally happier my better comedian happier um can fall in love easily dick Dick game? Dick game, off the charts. Crazy.

More connected, more empathetic, probably more intuitive. Just every part of me is better. But if you'd given me the option, I think I would say no. If you went back in time and said, would you do it again? Knowing the outcome think I would say no. If you went back in time and said, would you do it again? Knowing the outcome, I would say no. Because it was so insane. Do you think you're better as a result of doing that? Yeah, I do.

That's the thing. It's like an on-off switch. It's just a simple one way before and after. What did you have to go through, you think, to get here? What do you think that was? Was it a blockage or something? I think it resets you. I think it resets your spirit, for real. Like, I think it's that, I think it's, I think that we don't have any conception of what's really happening. I, like, I think, like, we kind of do. Like, we know, like.

We've invented some structures. We've invented some structures. We've invented some rituals. I think most of life is orientation and structure. We're very good at it. I don't think we have any clue what's happening. And because I smoked a thing, and then for four or five months I was not myself. I couldn't look at sunsets. I literally couldn't look at

mountains because we have these blinders on. You know when someone says, hey, that mountain's 500,000 years old and they're crazy and you go, oh, it's crazy. And nothing happens? It happened. Fucking lived it. Was aware of how long 500,000 years was.

Wasn't that long, by the way, to me. Kind of still isn't. My, like, entire orientation of the human life is I was like, I kind of saw, I had a joke with myself, which was, like,, God going like, so you like patterns, do you? Come on. I'll show you a fucking pattern. You want to see all the patterns ever? Yeah, like that's what it felt to the point where they were like, I couldn't go to it there.

I'm like, I can't talk to someone. I know what this is and I cannot speak to somebody about this. Yeah, you know how oftentimes are the most, like, thoughtful. No, having said that, if you look at comments on video, on podcasts, people go, like, Neil seems lighter. I felt that. No, I know. I do.

And it's that. Yeah. It's ayahuasca and that. I also don't get the heaviest version of you, I don't think. He doesn't. He's dead. He died. No, okay.

So you know how, like, oftentimes the people who are incredibly thoughtful have great observations and like even self-aware observations about life. I think you fall into this category or at least you did maybe in the past when you bear, no, no, I'll explain why. You bear the weight of that awareness. Yeah. Right? Like looking at life for what it is, looking at human existence for what it is, is kind of unhealthy. It creates some great art, some great writing. Like you look at some of the observations these people had and you go, oh, wow, this is beautiful. What is the cost for that beauty? Right. Yeah. You just got that self-awareness, not only for you, for like human

existence, for mountains, for time, for everything in one minute. And isn't that maybe that the lesson there is like, yo, if you go too deep, you're going to be miserable, Neil. Well, yes. If you try to figure out everything. I went too far. It's like I went too far. Yeah.

I was just trying to feel better. Yeah. And I did. I got that. By stepping away from it but but i was already so far removed yeah so it just made it like worse to the but did you see what william shatner said about space no he was on like uh he did the virgin flavor oh the base he's like it made me sad beyond anything i could have comprehended because he didn't, it's so dark

and so desolate and it made him miss humans and earth life and just like human connection. I'm now of the mind like that we're like infinite spirits in these bodies, whatever. I don't know.

But it also, when I say believing in God is helpful, it makes me optimistic that I'm literally just here for 80 years. Yes. So what are you going to do with that fucking time? So yeah, that's the toughest thing for me.

It's like, I look at... I'm going to crush ass. That's a pretty good use. Yeah. What are you going to do for the other 79 years? Why do you crush an ass? No, but, like, you look at it and you go, like, okay, I love the stuff that this level of self-awareness creates,

but at the same time, like, do I want to pay that price, or can I create equally as fun, interesting, and beautiful things without going to a place that does create darkness? It's like Adam and Eve shit. Wait, what do you mean by that? But it's also— Like you made the fruit of knowledge and evil. And you have to deal with the repercussions of that shit.

But I would argue that it was—you know when comics say, like, well, I don't want to be happy. Fuck that. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I've never bought that because what you'll come to realize pretty quickly is these are reflexes. What do you mean by that? I go the white place, Applebee's. It's fucking reflexes. It's just I speak the language.

It's like I know I can – my brain's going to spit jokes out just by nature and by practice. Yeah. I don't need to be miserable. Steph Curry hits threes if he's happy or sad. Even if he thinks it's not going to go in. Yeah, I agree. I think people lock themselves to it in that way. I think there are other issues,

not issues, other things that will inspire jokes. But that is something that I'm concerned about. It's like, leaning too far into what this existence is can create misery. And maybe what we should be doing is enjoying this existence. Yeah, but if you're predisposed that way,

to like look and observe and all that, it's hard to break. That's true. You have to break your brain. But like what I had to do was a, it was like a hard reset. But you know how when you do a hard reset, the computer shuts down? Yeah. I was doing it live. So I'm at it on a coffee date, which even for a robot, it's hard.

So it was just difficult to take. Have you had other people connect and commiserate with that specific experience? One woman heard me talk about it on Rogan and said she had the same experience. Out of millions. You've seen a lot of this, especially with the psychedelics like the DMT

and the ayahuasca. There are these kind of shared experiences in this shadow space or whatever you call that you go. You see the gnomes. The Michael Pollan thing, he said in his book, Before the Big Bang, and then I had it, and then I read the book and saw that he, and was like, fuck, that's exactly what happened.

So, like, it wasn't, there are, I feel like there's like 20 experiences within that space, and you'll have them in random order, and sometimes you'll get them in random order and sometimes you'll get some stuff, you won't get another somebody will appear, your grandma Do you think that this and I'm sure that people have written

about this, but I think even Rogan did something about how the Abrahamic religions were inspired by mushroom use. Yeah, well there's a theory Does that make more sense after doing this stuff? Made man stand. I think that jungle, tribal, jungles, deserts, whatever, I think not city, not urban,

I think that it's so much more naturally connected to the spirits, for lack of a better word. They'd say ayahuasca is a vine to the cosmos. It's just easier. There's just less fucking input. It gets everything out of the way so you can have a direct connection. Yeah. It gets everything out of the way so you can have a direct connection. Yeah.

I just think it's like when you have time, you can just do stuff. There's more ceremonies. Ayahuasca is the only ceremony I've ever been to where I was like, oh, this is great. It was like what church thinks it is. It's the first spiritual experience I've ever had where it was like oh okay this is real okay uh take me through real quickly we gotta go soon by the way yeah yeah yeah so you'll you're going to this as neil brennan the comedian you're seeing the shaman in his shaman outfit if he's wearing like please bring, please bring me through Neil Brennan before taking ayahuasca, and every observation you have, like, does it live up to all the happiness that you think it would?

It's the YSA. I call it beyond Lilith Fair. What is Lilith? Lilith Fair was a, like, all-female acoustic rock tour in the 90s. Oh, that's pretty gay. It's like Sarah McLachlan, yeah. Sarah McLachlan, whatever. tour in the 90s. Oh, that's pretty gay.

Sarah McLachlan, whatever. It's so far past. It's a level of whiteness I've never... No, they don't shave. The women don't shave. They don't shave nothing. Natural deodorants. Yeah. And within

20 minutes, you're just as earnest as they are. Yeah, wow. Just as like, I'm no... I'm just like, yeah, that's Spirit Willow. I know a woman named Spirit Willow. And it makes sense. And I don't question it. I accept it. I don't go, come on, sweetie, what's your real, her name's Spirit Willow.

Fine. I get it, kind of. Not real, but like I get, you know you know i get what i know the space you're talking about now so that's the fun part is the behavior and culture that comes out of that scene makes sense once you've experienced it and some of it's just culture of just like we people are replicating things of course i like that top so I wear that. So it's just that. No, but my take on culture after when I've done ayahuasca recently will be like, I don't like watching porn, violence.

Because those things get locked in there. Yeah, it's just bad. It's just like, yo, dog, fucking take it. Eat like yeesh. It's just a little bit like, eh. Would you do ayahuasca again? Yeah, I have. After a year and a half.

And does it take you back in there, like the laughing gas? No, I did it a couple weeks ago, and I remember thinking, man, my brain is fucking clean. Wow. Oh, explain that. You're saying you don't have as crazy an experience because there isn't that much to get out of the way. Yeah, I think that's part of what happened. Like, it reset me, and I was like, it was two and a half weeks ago, and I was like, wow, my shit is really clear. So I've heard a lot of people that are interested in it.

I was even interested when we were in Miami. There was a guy named Shaman Omar who came on. We were talking a lot about it, and I wasn't ready for it, but I wondered if the uptick in curiosity and use of ayahuasca has to do with all this shit that we're putting in our brains right now. Like you said, we're dirtying up the brain. It's also people are— Nobody in Wyoming is doing fucking ayahuasca. They don't need it. They don't need to.

By the way, Native Americans, when they say medicine man, medicine woman? That was the person who drank ayahuasca. There was only one of them. So they would do it for the whole tribe. And it's all Amazonian shit. So they did San Pedro. They have their own sort of entheogen, they're called. I can tell you from my DMs, like I'm making fun of people saying and diagnosing me, I get, I've gotten thousands of DMs in eight days. Like I can't answer, it's exhausting

because people are so emotionally desperate that they're like, thank you for, I didn't relate to all of it, but that part and that like, they, people are desperate. Dude, it's, and know you've got to get out of here, but it's a really interesting time right now because we were talking about why there's so many, why the self-help, I don't want to call them gurus because it undermines them a bit, but there's a lot of people that are pushing self-help and it's incredibly helpful to people

and they're really drawn to it. And Mark had a good point. He's like, yeah, well, we don't really have religion. We've got no religion anymore. I mean, that's the thing, yeah. So it's like there's self-help, and then there's also plant medicine, and there's all this shit that we're putting in our brains that religion would usually just go, hey, why don't you not take as much of that?

So now you've got no governor on yourself. You're absorbing it. It's never been easier to get into your system. That's why comics are popular. There's no – I told you this a long time. It's like there's, the government's all corrupt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The media is all corrupt.

Religion's either gone or corrupt. So there's no one around, there's no one on duty. So they go, Jon Stewart, like, Michael Moore, Dave, Chris, now you, Joe,

like a beacon of at least clarity, some clarity. Sometimes it's moral clarity, sometimes it's whatever. Or at least joking about the bullshit that we have to do. Yeah, and that's the job now. Whereas it used to be we had pillars in society that are all crumbled. All of them. And comedians would challenge the pillars, but now there's no more pillars.

Now we attack each other. Yeah, there's no pillars left. There's none. They've literally all been debunked. Now there's a second part of it, which is like a lack of religion is not good. I agree with that. Even something like Christianity,

which is like, people always say like, Christianity is caused every war ever. Okay, or religion. But it's also kept more people from getting punched in the face. So many more. Than any other force ever. Net positive. Yeah, like maybe a net positive. Like all in, tax breaks, net positive. It's a super cop. Yeah. Like maybe a net positive, even more. Is it like all in tax breaks?

Net positive. It's a super cop. Yeah. It's like a thing that'll keep people like super cop. Just like, Oh no, no, no,

you don't want to do it. God, no, God's watching. Yeah. Um, my understanding of God is it's not, it's like not watching or it's like,

it's just is. Yeah. So I didn't get a message of love or punish certainly not punishment but just so have you spoken to duval about this do you talk do you i don't know we need to go have dinner um uh yeah so so yeah it's wild It's like that's a – I went on a wild like, but I'm better. But it was like I couldn't – I wish I – it's like I'll do it. Is there any other way? Yeah, yeah.

Like, thank you. Legit thank you. When I was in ayahuasca, whenever it would be hard a couple weeks ago, I kept doing the Charlemagne line like, and we thank God for it all. I was getting my ass beat. Like, I just felt nauseous and fucking groggy as fuck. And I just kept thinking Charlemagne. Like, no, no, no, don't get me wrong.

And we thank God for it all. I was getting whooped. It wasn't like DMT whooped, though. It was just nausea. Yeah. We got to go. Guys, thanks for watching Flagrant. Yeah.

Neil, we love you. We appreciate you. Make sure you go check out Blocks.rant yeah Neil we love you we appreciate you make sure you go check out VLOX you're the motherfucking best thank you love you guys be good man peace