Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Netflix Roast Reaction & Hantavirus is Coming | Flagrant #704

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

YERRR – the boys dive into roast battle chaos, scam stories, and why Cocomelon is destroying children. – Kevin Hart roast highlights & Tony and Shane going crazy – Trump UFO files, Epstein conspiracies & Chinese spies in Cali – Knicks delusion, subway madness & Strickland vs Khamzat All that and more on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 Roasts are BRUTAL 00:38 Travelling with kids + Cocomelon = Fent 5:21 5 hour flight with 2 kids + “If you insist” 9:48 Alexx got scammed + No rules bareknuckle 13:00 Tough getting got + Subway pole dancing 14:56 NY Immunity + Keep it OPEN 18:05 Wife’s tits for the streets + Foot lovers 21:55 Non-sandal wearers + Hotspots 24:03 Kevin Hart Roast + Primed for harsh jokes 29:11 Great jokes, Chappelle joke + Tony and Shane killed it 31:33 Lizzo was GREAT + Process for roast jokes* 35:10 Pete did well, Ye was there + Tony’s jokes 36:56 Katt Williams beef with Kevin Hart 41:16 The Rock + Andrew having FOMO 43:59 Next roast target, Stakes + Tom Brady 47:02 Too good to be true for Knicks? + Mark Grandma 1:03:12 Chinese Cali Spy + Eileen Gu definitely listens*** 1:12:47 Trump in China, loyalty + Stop caping for Trump 1:16:47 Arcadia, CA, Railroads + Jet Li come on pod 1:18:31 Stay on the boat + YTs love watching 1:22:13 Trump UFO files desperation + Bob Lazar 1:24:08 Epstein “suicide” note + Only 1 conviction 1:30:42 Strickland v Khamzat was incredible 1:37:28 Closing thoughts + Every other year This episode is sponsored by Kalshi. This episode is sponsored by Sesh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Go to car gurus.ca. To make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C-A-R-G-U-R-U-S dot CA. Car gurus. Dot CA. What's up, everybody, and welcome to Flagrant. your boy Shultzzi, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, Miles Media, in the building. How are you guys?

These roasts are getting brutal, bro. I'm getting soft. I'm getting soft. Somebody jokes. I was like, ouch. Get on the Internet, bro. Get on the Internet out. The Internet will have you feel that things are worse than they are.

Brough. When they talked about, well, we get to get into it later. But fuck. It was You didn't feel none of the jokes were a little rough. We'll get into it. We'll get into it, man.

We flew back from California a couple days with both kids. Oh, nice. I don't know how Epstein did it, man. I'll be honest with you. Traveling with kids is so fucking brutal, bro. He had to have a different plane, right? There's no way you take it on your plane. No, those kids were Delta.

They had to. They had to. It is crazy that they haven't devised a system A place to put the kids Yeah Like because they did it with the animals Right? Like I'm not saying

And I'm very grateful for my kids Don't get me wrong here Of course Five hours On his claim But you see Epstein died Spirits no longer here

Oh At least with spirit They get to watch violence Yeah You know Like because my kid's not on a screen But he can watch two baby moms Beed the shit out of each

But like we were We were just sitting there. My wife's just like, we're not doing any screens. And I was like, what? Yeah. And she's like, yeah, we're not doing any screens. And my wife is in the seat in front of us and I'm behind with Shiloh. That's kind of fucked up of her, yo.

Yo, but she's breastfeeding the baby and everything like that. And I'm back. And like, I tried to do no screens. And like, I threw on, I threw on that cocoa melons, bro. On your screen. So on my screen, I put the cocoa melons. I didn't even have my volume on. I don't think I blink for 30 minutes.

that shit should be illegal that's terrorism bro it's so many flashing lights and I'm literally like glued my daughter is glued to the screen my daughter's getting jump scared like there's so much stimulus my daughter keeps going like this like

she goes ha and then she looks at me and she's like and this is her first time imagine your first time trying any drug is fentanyl or heroin there was no game

Anyway, no screen to cocoa melon. Yep. I think we got to show cocoa melon. So wonderful. So on Mother's Day, the one rule of your wife actually not to do, you broke it. And almost. No, no, no, I broke it. No, because they weren't watching it.

You were watching it. And they chose this guy. I put it on Shiloh's screen. I put on Shiloh's screen. They both started watching it again. I put on Shottles of thinking I was going to scroll my phone and talk to y'all. Shit, I didn't even open my phone. I was so locked in the Coco Melons.

Dude, there's a little. moment. Oh, that is. Yeah, it is. Oh, it's nonstop. And this is just the intro. You already locked in. And this is no volume. So that way it feels like how you guys were watching it. Also, for the record, guess how many views this has? Random guess.

What, a billion? Eight billion. What? Eight billion views. This has more views than people on the What? Yeah, Al. You get addicted to it. You got to understand. My daughter's never seen an iPad.

ever seen a screen. And then I put on the most... Fencing all the musical. Yes, son. That's crazy. You should have seen it. Yo, the flight attendant came around. She was like, oh.

At first, I had no headphones on for her. I was like, we're just going to watch the screen because I thought that might be too stimulating. I put the headphones on and no bullshit. The second I put the headphones on, she watched, and I'm watching her, and I just see her slowly smile. Like this slow, eerie ear,

Cheshire Cat's smile creeps across her face. I'm watching my kid become addicted to something in real time. Yeah. Yeah. Woo! Yeah, dude. You didn't feel bad about that? Feel bad.

I could be a dad now. You just need go-com kids. All these people complaining about, like, how hard is raised kids when you got screens? I don't want to hear none of that. No more problem. I try to put on the first episode of Sesame Street. Emma downloaded it onto the iPad. That's good.

The first ever episode of Sesame Street. me street. It's probably trash. The way Shiloh couldn't give him a fuck after watching Cocoa Mellon, it was like smoking a cigarette after you inject heroin straight into your fucking water. Zero. Didn't even understand it logically.

She was like, why is he in the garbage? Like, there was no, she was like, why is this entertaining or fun? And this transformed television. This one show, transformed television. Yep. I mean, you've seen little kids react to Cocoa, right? You seen the videos? No. I've

try to find one. There's videos of like little kids hearing the theme song and they go crazy. Look at this. Little kids sleeping. Oh. Give me that. No. This show is bad, bro. You can't do it. Wow. You can't do it. They get so far. But you also can't. You also can't fly for five hours with two kids. You can't do that. Yeah. That's an impossible task. I don't know how people did that.

The fact that she asked you to do that is, that was mean. That's mean to everybody else in a play. No. Like, come on. the other thing? Like, I didn't even think about no one else on a plane. Like, they didn't even enter my brain. All I, like, it did like, oh, it could be uncomfortable for them. I don't care.

Is that mean? Is that selfish? Yes. No, you get locked and, you're locked. I think you just become so focused. Yeah, micro-focused on just, like, making sure your kids okay. I don't want to snitch on you, but he did something so funny. We were trying to figure out routing for flights because we were like in Denver. He was like,

maybe I go back to New York, then I go to L.A. and I was like, well, you know, if you go to New York, we can get some stuff done, then you go to L.A. And he was like, yeah, but I could go straight to L.A. And I was like, yeah, it's just time away from the family, though. And he goes, yeah, but it's a flight without the kid. I was like, bro. He's scheduling his geographical travel

to not fly. Can I tell you all that? Can I tell you all? I ain't shit. Can I tell you what I? Emma brought it up to me. She goes, she goes, why don't you just go right from Denver to L.A. and then we'll just come to Santa Barbara earlier because there was dad's a year birthday. He never said yes

faster. I was about to and I had to be like, I had to stop it because I couldn't let her know how excited I wasn't out of that. And I was like, I don't know if that makes sense. Like I should probably just fly back and then we all go back. And she's like, it doesn't even make any sense. I would just go straight to L.A.

You could do your meetings or whatever. And I was like all right, man, I guess. Fine. If you insist, if you insist, I'll avoid that five hours. I'm going to be in the Delta One Lounge with who, though. You know, who will I be with? I'll be totally alone. No wonder you drove to the airport with us

because you wrote back that she had to do that flight all by us. I was like, yo, why are you coming with us to pick her up from the airport? Like, if she flew alone, she could take a Uber. It's not even like he had a car. He got dropped off of the airport on his feet, like GDA. He was just walking around. I was grabbing all the bags, click, throwing him in the back of the car. I was doing everything that possibly could, man.

We got into the car both kids asleep immediately. I was like, yo, this was hard for you all to travel with the kids. It's so difficult about this. It is my least favorite part of parenting. I truly love being a dad except travel. You need another vacation once you land. Like, you land from vacation with the kids, and any relaxation that you got for the week away is evaporated on that flight.

Because there's nothing on the flight. My daughter grabbed the scoop of ice cream with her whole hands. You know how they bring the scoop of ice cream? I was like, she wants some ice cream. She's like, yes. I was like, hold on, I'm just going to get the spoon. I went to unwrap the spoon that's in the napkin. She just went, boo.

Boom! Blu! Slam that shit right in her face. Chocolate sauce everywhere. Fucking whipped cream everywhere. She's like, go, go, go, no. He turned to him. Savage, bro. I don't even believe those stories, people were like, oh, like, the travelers went west and, like, five of their kids died.

No, no, no. They killed them. They killed the kids. 100%. Johnny got Rickens back in Oregon. Typhooning fever or whatever it is. You left that motherfucker. He was crying.

Because they didn't have iPads. Think about that. You had to travel from like what, Denver to Oregon with that iPad? There are people called travelers. They're gypsies. And their choice in life is to only travel with the kids.

And what do they do with their kids? Sent them around to go do scams and parents. Yep. And they drug them. I think that's why they drug them. That's the only way to travel with the kids. Makes so much sense now. Son, there is no...

I used to think that those people were evil with the drug kids on the street. They are. They try to get by, yeah. They're traveling. They're traveling every day. They live in a Winnipego. Their home is their fucking car.

That's good point. They're evil. They got me for $500 one time. No, $500? $500? What? You was walking around with $500? You know what?

Went to the hour. want to tell the story. No, you have to tell it. Which all the, also there's gypsy. How do I do this? I kept this with it in the tuck for like four years. Tell me, tell me. Shout out to the Roma, bro.

I love the Roma. After they fucked over. Tell them this story. All right. So I'm traveling to Philly. I'm at, uh... You got caught by American Chimsy, you dumb motherfucker.

They send their beauty there. This is the beauty. We don't got gypsies here. I never met a gypsy in my life. So what did you think it was? You're a travel dude. You've been around the world. He came to me.

He's like, yo, I'm charging. And so he comes over to me. He was like, you know, we ran out of gas. We have to go on his long trip. We're seeing family. The kids are, like, sick in the car. He brings me over. The kids look sick in the car.

And I'm like, yo, what do you need, bro? He's like, yo, don't worry. I'm going to pay you back. I promise. He starts taking off his jewelry and shit like that. You could hold this. You get the money. Yep.

Bro, $500 later. And I'm a barrel. And I drove away with a 50. I'm a bike Rolex. You kept the watch? Fuck out of it. Get my money back. But yeah, they got me.

I never met a gypsy before in my life. And usually our homeless, they never used kids. Yeah. So that was my first time. Yeah. And I felt bad for the kid. The fact you kept the watch makes me feel no

sympathy for you at all. He was insisting. That's the scam. He was insisting. A guy needed help and you're like, I'll help you. Son, do you know how gypsies are known for bare knuckle fighting? Did you guys know that this is part of

like their history and lore, the Irish gypsies? But I know, like the Gypsy King, like, is part of this or not? Of course, yeah. A lot of these fighters come from that lineage. But like the actual ones, there's this documentary called Knuckle, where it goes into like what the actual street fights were about. And there's like rules to this shit. There's like a dirty one you could have where everything goes, eye gouging, biting.

I watch a fight where a dude bit the dude's nose off. Tip of his nose, bit that shit right off. There was a dude that said, there was a dude that said, I'm fuck. I wish I knew his name. He goes, after I bite someone's flesh off, I don't spit it out because then he could sew it back on. Damn. I swallow it. So he remembers the fight he had with me.

Anyway, what year is this, roughly? I don't know. Look at the documentary Knuckle. I think it just came out recently, but it looks fucking amazing. I was watching like a million Instagram clips about it. Oh, my God. It's so brutal. This one right here, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's all literally, it's Hatfields and McCoys. Like it's all familial. What is that called? What is that called? Like blood feuds? Yes.

I wouldn't say blood feud where you have to like kill somebody. They actually squash something in the ring. So it's like if you guys have beef, you fight it out. Oh, that's where it is. Allegedly. Like a duel with him shoot. Yeah. I actually think that like Tyson Fury's dad got locked up for years because of something

that happened in one of these fights. Really? Side Fury's dad was a, like, you know, gypsy bear knuckle guy. Anyway, the point I'm trying to say is they're so angry because they're traveling with kids. This is why these guys got to fight is because their life is traveling with kids. And they have like seven kids in one Winnipegham. You got to get that out. You got to get it out the system.

I'm so mad. I reminded myself of that story and I'm still pissed the fuck. Shut out. It's okay. Hey, it is tough when we get got as New Yorkers because we're used to scams. Yeah. Like every moment you leave your house is a scam. They hit me with the new one.

I never saw it. I never saw it. And the kids look sick in the back. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like American scams are always like business oriented. You know what I mean? It's like, hey, like I just need a dollar for this thing.

Like I'm trying to start something. Like it's always like vaguely entrepreneurial. Whereas over there like gypsies would just be like, you know, my family's dying. Just say what you want to say. It's a black kid. in the fucking subway. I know, like, he dancing around and shit,

entrepreneurial. That's not a scam, right. That's not a scam. Entrepreneurs is like, yo, I'm doing this for my basketball team. Yeah, I respect that. That's a business, I respect the basketball team.

But I respect that more than a pole dancer. There was, these people, like, something happened when New York got gay, it don't matter how nice you are at poll dancing. Like, why are we give them respect to that? These guys are pole dancing on the subway.

They're doing flips and shit. Come on, you got to get what you think. What you think these holes are doing flips? So how do they not? pause that. How do they not pause that? They're not taking a close off. Say again?

They're not taking the clothes off. They take their jackets off a lot. I held them one time. One time they give you their hat. Take your hat back. My first day in New York, I'm on the train with my suitcases and one of the guys is dancing and he goes, hey man, can I get some water?

And I'm holding a water bottle. I was like, sure. And he takes it, puts his lips on it, closes it, gives it back to me. And then leaves. And I was just like, damn. And that guy's been holding a pole. on a subway all day. That's maybe one of the more German festered human beings.

Yeah. And I felt like an asshole. Hey, hey. Why? He's on public transit all day. He's holding the pole. I'm sure they're pre-R-L after, you know? Let me just, come on.

They should. Yeah, I'll give me a benefit of death. This is coming from a guy who doesn't wash his hands after taking a shit. I don't watch my hands. You are the most determined festing. But he doesn't go on the subways. I wrote the subway my whole life.

That's why I didn't get COVID like you seven times. Okay. That is true. New Yorkers didn't get COVID. You do got a weak ass. No, you didn't get COVID. I got it twice. I got it twice.

But you, because you didn't build up your immunity. You were here not taking a subway. We've been taking the subway our entire life. I actually do think there's something to this. There's nothing that hasn't been in my mouth. My boss. I've been on the subway my whole life holding on to the pole. Yeah.

Bear! My little baby dropped his apple on the sidewalk, picked it up and ate it. And I was like, oh. That's okay, bro. That's okay. There's doo-doo on that sidewalk. Yeah, I know. There's do-doo on.

But now he's going to be built a little differently. Your kid will be built different 100%. That's why I'm not worried about hantavirus or whatever. A little bit. I'm not. It spreads from rat poop. Say again? Rat poop is what...

Nah, but this new one is human to human. Yeah. So you got fucked. But now we're fucked both ways because we got rats and humans. Yeah, but it's some fucking, like, weird Dutchman that was using a rat as a vibrator or something like that. You know, there are into some freaky shit over there. You know the Dutch is rat fuckers. 100% rat fuckers.

I don't want people to die, but I wouldn't mind another pandemic. Yo. I'm really, I really, but we're not shutting it down again. Nah, it's shut down. It was fun. Wait, that's the part I want. If it's not a shut down and no one's dying, how's it a pandemic? What do you want?

We got to keep it open and just people get sick. We got to keep it over. I like his version better. I like everything says that and no one die. We're not shutting it down. We can't shut it down again, bro. I got two kids. We need to get their energy out.

I don't think we talked enough. about the moms and dads that had kids in the house during the whole pandemic. God bless them. That's where you got a billion views. Probably. Low key. Probably. Look at, look at where them views came from. The spike was, right? That spike happened. 2020. Exactly. Also, all of our shows, very quickly. Salt Lake City, this coming weekend, thank you guys so much. All shows are sold out. I love you, Salt Lake. June 5th and 6th. We're going to be at Virginia Beach, June 5th and 6. So go grab tickets for that. And then this summer, we're going to be great outdoors fest in Halifax, Nova Scotia, August 8th, the Andrew Shultz.com

for all those tickets. Thank you guys so much. Everybody came out to the Netflix, the joke fest, the jelly roll and I did. That shit was crazy. The Greek theater. That might be the most beautiful venue. I mean, obviously outside of my emotional connection to Madison Square Garden, but just pure, carved out of a forest, like unbelievable, awesome. And thank you so much. Everybody came out and saw us rock out. And that was a pretty fucking awesome night. So we really really appreciate you. Mark. What's up, people? I'm going to be coming to a bunch of cities at the end of the year. I'm going to Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, California, San Diego, and Detroit.

You can find that all at Mark Gagnon Live.com. I can't wait to see you guys there. Thank you. And guys, I have my tennis event this Saturday, May 16th. Just head over to the all loveclub.com. The all loveclub.com. Get your tickets there. There's like about five or ten tickets left for this. Saturday, but we have two more this summer. So yeah, if I don't see you this

Saturday, I'll see you at the other dates. Bro, do you do this thing when you travel on the plane? Yes, and your girl breastfeeds? Do you screen? Do you pull a screen? That way people can't look? Can I be honest with you, man? Yeah. Once you have kids, your wife's tits is for the streets,

bro. They really are, dude. They really are. I know it sounds crazy, but it's like you're not as protective over them as you used to be. So, that's crazy. That's their decision. It's not ours.

Their decision is for the streets. You just gave your wife tits up for the streets. I didn't. I didn't put that baby got to eat. That baby got to eat, man. Leigh, I don't cover. The baby covers it. Sometimes you do a cover.

Sometimes, like, the shirt kind of hangs. And sometimes I will set a pick. And I'll try to like cover a lid. Yeah, protect your tit. That's your tit. A little. And then she'll be like, well, yeah, just, you know, just a case. She's like, it's fine.

Nah. You got it all. also just like the baby pulls off and then he sucked the titty into an Aladdin shoe. Oh. And it's just like flat and curled at the ends. And then you dab them up. You say, yeah, boy, get that milk. Get that milk, Link.

Bro, I heard a story of a girl that popped it out to feed her baby and then. Someone else sucked on him? No, no. I seen that on the subway. I see that. A girl popped that titty out. Dude, popped right off in the baby. fucking Paul was just starting sucking on her titty.

No, she got up to go to the bathroom, gave the baby to her husband, forgot to pull her shirt up. And just titty out. Walk through the whole thing. That's what I'm saying. They stopped being as protect. I remember I posted a carousel when it was a few days after Lincoln was born. Yeah, he was wild for that.

I didn't even realize one of the pictures had my wife's titty out. And my wife don't even like being on the internet. And I was like, oh, shit, I think they're titty. And my wife was like, ah, it's fine. Wow. Yeah. They don't care. It's a very different, like, it stops becoming a, like a sexualized part of the body.

To y'all. That's a good point. But isn't that what's supposed to part of? Jerking off to fucking, people brush me right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a brain, buddy. It wasn't even easy. Hey, stop bare knuckle in this.

Yeah. Like, come on, son. I bite off the flesh. They're not swallowing it. No, there's a thing where it just becomes a tool. It becomes a tool for sustaining life. Exactly. Now, to you guys, you might still sexualize it.

But there's the thing. It's like women didn't even know that we like feet, all of us, every guy. Until like some asshole made a big deal of it on the internet. What, you? Not me. You're one of the foremost folk people. Yeah, you are. For paddling feet?

I think you're known. more for a foot lover battle. Yeah, probably. Yo, but like, I should have never said nothing. Foot lover, yo,

foot lover is mad. No, but like, you got girls in the Javieras, but they're curling their toes now, so we can't see it. You know what I mean? Stop burka in your feet up. If you're wearing the Javianas,

you know what I mean? It's a luau. Or it's a whatever. I don't know. That's a Brazilian thing, isn't it? I thought it was white. No,

no, no, luas won't. But the Javianas are Brazilian, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, my point is that, like, we fuck up and we let the world know about our sexual proclivities when it just was like another part. Like, if you're into shins, nobody even knows. You're right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The more you talk about it, the more it hides. Exactly. It's like a cat. You got to let it come to you. That was a little. I think that makes sense. If you chase the cat, it runs away.

It's going to run away. You know what I mean? So you got to say nothing by the feet. Keep it in the tuck. And then. Keep it in the tuck. This is what happens when you grew up in New York. This is a big issue, I think.

Why? Because New York is not a sandal wearing place. New Yorkers are not known for wearing sandals. Most of you don't wear sandals. Then when you're walking on the street, people judge me for wearing sandals on the regular basis in the summertime. Yeah, you're disgusting. But like, why is wearing sandals on the sidewalk discussed?

You've seen New York streets? Like, it's too close to the garbage. No, no, you're making a good point. So for me, it's like seeing a foot as like a Muslim dude seeing hair. Yeah. And then, like, he doesn't get to see it all the time. Exactly. And then he does.

He's like, oh, that's super attractive. He's the sickest hair ever, yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great point. That's your forbidden fruit. You should see, like, you ever seen an Eskimo look at a foot? Oh, my God, bro.

I'm going to look this up. Oh, my God. I think that's why they like narwhal because it's similar texture. Chewy. You got to dip in his soy sauce or whatever. It's like a kid seeing cocoa melon, brother. Yes. They wake up.

No, I'm going to look at foot fetters by geography. I bet you can find You can find like a map of it Yeah, if you come from a barefoot place There's no way Uh-oh What do we got? My whole theory's got out the window

What do we got? States with the most foot fetishists Yep Okay New York All Andrew Chicago But these are two

These are two like Industrialized cities So you're not going to really see feet That much Actually maybe this goes to my theory So you got New York and Chicago You're never going to see feet Yes

Florida, Texas Los Angeles you're going to see, I think, a lot of... I think in Texas, you do. I think those are booted. Yeah, those might be booed people. That's a good point. Florida is peculiar to me. But what I would say is that the majority of people in Florida have moved there from New York. That's a good point.

Right? So it's like you're taking your fetish to a place where it's readily available. That's based in New York. Same as L.A. Yeah. Also, everybody in L.A. is in their car. It's not really like a pedestrian place. So you're not really seeing people walk around.

That's true. That's true. That's a stupid-ass theory, but it's true. I mean, there might be something to it. All right. You want to talk about this rose? Yes. Let's talk about the rose.

Al, you're sensitive? You feel a little uncomfortable about it? I think I think it was a little harsh. Okay. Really? Who's a little harsh? What was harsh for you? Cheryl Underwood, the husband.

Oh, God. So Cheryl Underwood is a legend comedian. He's been around forever. And I guess her husband had committed suicide. And like there was a lot of jokes going in. But I saw her talk about an interview. I think it was after. I think it came out like today.

And she was like, that was her husband. She was in the military. And he was also in the military. She was getting deployed or something. This was like 30 years ago. Oh. And they were married. And this is like the 90s, I think.

Oh, okay. All right. I changed it. I thought it was recent. I'm like, God. You thought it just happened. And a bunch of them called her. Like Shane called.

before, according to him, I think he said it in the road. Yeah, Shane said he did check. Like, he reached out to her. It was like, hey, is it cool if I said it? She's like, yeah, of course. Yeah, but then what? She's going to be a pussy and be like, no, it bothers me. You know how you're right. It is a tough position to put her in. Yeah. I can see her just being like, I'd rather not. It's really delicate. Like, I'm still reeling from it. And then I think every comic would be like, all right, I get it. Yeah, I don't think anybody would. But there is also a part of you that's

on the roast. You're like, all right, everything's freaking. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't want to be the one pussy on the roast that gives people like, oh, you can't say this? I guess. But in that regard, she was totally fine with it according to this interview. Yeah, but yeah,

30 years, that's nothing. Yeah. I wasn't saying. I was in no middle ground. That's like, this went too far. I was like in one of my college homes died right now.

What else has heard of you? What else has heard of you? No, that was the main one. But I feel like this one was just, and I know that's the nature of a roast. It's just like, hey, say the most brutal thing you could think of. And maybe I'm just,

getting soft. I thought it was rough. But isn't that part of the... But I love it. But if that comedy flies and everybody's okay with that, why can't that comedy just be the standard? Mark had a great point about this. So like, first up, I love Rose. I genuinely

love them. I love all the Comedy Central Rost. I love the Netflix Rost. Like, I just enjoy like just rapid fire, clever jokes. They're biting their stakes. It's live. It's like the whole thing is perfect. I don't know. I would buy people more in New York. You see that.

All the time. It's just awesome. It's like the best. But I do think like for the general public, having an environment for like super dark, roasty, like borderline aggressive comedy is nice when it exists within a specific forum. Because you're primed for it.

Yeah. You basically telling everybody, hey, the worst jokes possible are going to be said. So don't be surprised when they're said. And prepare yourself for this. Like if you click play, no,

that's what you're going to see. Yeah. Like if I'm at work in my office job at 8 a.m. and someone says one of these jokes to me, I would even be like, oh, that's a little much for work, you know what I mean? If I meet someone for the first time?

Because you're not primed for, this is going to be the craziest shit. You're primed for this is corporate America and we're all going to, like, you know, put on a corporate face and a corporate accent and do our thing. And that's funny. Me, I like to ruffle feathers.

I'm like, oh, it's much better to say it in the place where it's unexpected. Well, I would enjoy that. Yeah. But I also recognize there's, I wouldn't say that joke in that environment. You know what I mean? If I'm meeting, like, my wife's parents

for the first time, I wouldn't say some of these jokes. If I'm hanging with my buddies, I might say some of them more. If I'm in a comedy club, I might say most of them. And then when you're at a roast, it is the exact environment to say all the worst possible stuff. And that is the point of it. It's like you don't need, like, you shouldn't expect violence in everyday society. But at the UFC, you need violence.

Like it requires, it necessitate. They're preparing you. They're like, yo, someone's going to elbow someone in the face when they're passed out on the ground. Yeah. And there's probably, there could be blood. And people might pass out. Like they might get knocked out cold. No, that doesn't mean that some people don't watch you have seen and be like,

this is too brutal for me. Yeah. It might be too brutal. You know, for roast is the same thing. But at least it's like there's a framework put in place and an expectation for you going into it. And I think sometimes when the clips hit the internet, someone's scrolling and they have not subscribed to a roast. Right?

So then they're looking at cat videos or whatever. And then this crazy joke comes out and they're like, yo, I didn't sign up for this. I signed up for Mark Zuckerberg's, you know, Instagram. Ram. Yeah, yeah. So then they're called off guard, but I find it hard to believe that people that were like, I'm pressing play on this roast, and I know it's going to be absolutely savage. I find it hard to believe that those people would be, like, super offended. Yeah, I don't think anything, or I didn't hear anything that was like offensive. I just was like, oof, they really went there. They went there. Yeah. And I like that shit. Oh, there was some great

jokes. I also think there's a difference with like something, I think you can be sensitive to something and still think it's funny. Yes. You know what I mean? Like I'll hear jokes even just like at a club or whatever where I'm like oof. Like that's like, there's something for me personally where I'm like, oh, that's a little close. But I still think it's so funny that I'm like, I don't care. Because the funniness outweighs the sensitivity. And the more sensitive something is the funnier something has to be. Which is why I like jokes that push the line of sensitivity. Yeah. Because it necessitates

that it's that much funnier. Yeah. I saw I saw a bunch of clips and I watched some of it. And I just thought the jokes were great. And it was like, everybody was going in you know it was gloves off I think the only time I'm like oh shit is when like anybody's kids get brought up and maybe it's good I'm a dad or whatever it is or you just think about the kids as like you know

they're just like young and kind of defenseless and it's not the person's life it's somebody else's life like even with the Tom Brady Rose it's like I ain't saying shit about his kids bro I don't because they didn't sign up to be exactly in this environment exactly but neither did it his ex-wife and we definitely

made jokes about her ass public figure public figure public figure that's also the other rule it's like if your if your spouse is a public figure then you know

she's free game you've you know who was it who called Kevin's wife a lady boy not Dave's wife oh Dave

Naim Lin Naim Lin is hilarious comedian like one of Kev's boys he's in a plastic cup boys but also like hilarious stand-up he was fantastic yo shout out

you no name Naim was fantastic Yeah, he's like, what do he say about Dave? He's like, oh, you went in. He said, I don't know why he did. He said, Dave wasn't even there.

He said, Kevin hates you. He goes, Kevin hates you more than the transgender community hates you. And then he goes, I don't know why you hate transgender so much when your wife is a Filipino lady boy. Yo, I was like, whoa. Even Shane went up like, that was interesting. I'm sure he'll be totally okay with that. Went hard. I thought all the comics be great.

Tony killed. Tony crushed, bro. Shane killed. Shane did great. I mean, I thought Cheryl Underwood did great. You know, Shane bringing Chelsea up as he got to get yourself. He goes, she was at a dinner with Epstein. It wasn't even a big dinner.

Just a few people there, like Prince Andrew and Woody Allen. You could look at them. There's articles. Yeah, there's articles. Anyway, give it up for Chelsea. No joke. It's just a fact about her life. Unreal.

Yeah. She's a Zionist. Not that it's good or bad. Yeah. Speaking of dead babies. Oh, yeah. That was great. That was great.

But yeah, Jeff did great. And then the person that impressed me the most that I was so charmed by was Lizza. Oh, Lizzo was so good. Lizzo was fantastic. Because she was having fun. Yeah. Oh, it's awesome. She just had fun.

Like, you could tell like she was enjoying it, not just trying to do well. And there's a version of like, I just want to crush. And then there's a version of like, this is silly and naughty and like I'm in it. Yeah. And that energy, I think, always wins. Yeah. You know, like, yeah. Even if like you might bumble a line, it doesn't matter because people are like, oh, they're having fun and they're stoked to be in this moment.

Yeah. And signing up to it, she knew she was going to get cooked. I didn't even see her there. She came out. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if she was announced. I think she was a guest. Yeah.

She did that on purpose. But then some people, I think, went after her. Okay. So they still had jokes for her. Got it, got it, got it, okay. What's the process for the roast? Like, are all their jokes written by other people? No, you get, like, a group of guys that will write jokes.

Okay. So, like, the celebs usually have, like, a team of guys, and they got, like, amazing fucking writers. They're like, Mike Lawrence is fantastic. Dan St. Germain, another guy. And then everybody kind of just has, like, a team of guys and you work with them and you put together the set and essentially that's what it is.

And it's like its own skill. Like roast jokes are it's not like that doesn't translate to stand up but it is a very specific type of thing. And yeah, these guys are fucking amazing. I wonder if Netflix contracts

writers just in general. Yeah, so like Mike Lawrence was probably like maybe the, I'm assuming he was like the head writer. so he's there to make sure everybody has jokes, and then he's also there to make sure that people's jokes aren't crossing over that much without telling other people.

Right. So, like, I remember when we were doing Brady, he came in the room, and I was like, hey, just tell me what any other people have without telling me anybody else's jokes. Right. Or I think you were even like, I'm going to do this joke.

And he was like, oh, yeah, no one's touching that. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, because that's the other thing. It's like there's only so many short black jokes you can make about Kevin. Yeah. So you got to make sure

each person's short black joke is different than the other. There's only so many jokes about his movie sucking. So you've got to make sure they're different enough where the audience doesn't hear the same joke over and over again for. And that's the other reason why there's a dais. Right? It's like not only do you need people to tell jokes, you need people that are punching bags as well. Ah, got it, got it.

Right? Because it's just if every person only talks about Kevin, two hours in, you're like, all right, we heard it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But that's what makes going last in the roast or later in the roast so stressful because it's like. Everybody heard it. You're sitting there and then other jokes you're getting picked off. You're kind of crossing stuff out.

Like, all right, that joke got done. Like, this one kind of got done. And then you got to make a choice like, all right, is this one close enough? Yeah. But I figure the head writer is they're picking those off before the thing. Yeah, but like the topic has been broached. So by like an hour and a half in, it's like, all right, we get it. Kevin's short.

Got it. And whatever. And like, I remember there was a time in Brady where like I noticed Dana in the audience. And like I had a. about him that I didn't have in like the set but I was like oh nobody's going to hit him or maybe they won't hit him because

he's like an unannounced guest just in the crowd but people are aware of him and those things can you know what I mean it's like fresh meat essentially so being able to pull from those different things I think is valuable yeah but there was some fucking bangers dude

there was some really yeah Pete Davidson did great yeah Pete did really good man yeah he did really good yeah he did really good And he, and also put it, think about Pete, like, he knows if he's sitting there, he's going to relive his dad's death 10 times. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you're putting yourself in a line of fire.

And so that was, that was cool to see. Also, I saw a little thing from TMZ. This is, like, it's kind of, like, a nothing story, but, like, Connie was apparently there. No. Yeah. So I saw a video of someone, like, recording Connie from the corner. And he doesn't really react, but, like, he's there for all the jokes. Which is kind of wild.

Get out of it. Yeah. That was to your point where, yeah, apparently it was on the crowd and that was to your point with like the Pete joke where Pete said to Tony, like I've had a better gay Nazi. Like I've been in a beef with a better gay Nazi. I'm not afraid of you. I think that was because he knew Connie. He knew Kanye was there. Oh, that's funny. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Man, fuck. Tony had a bit where he said, uh, Chelsea Handler is aging like a vegetable in Lizzo's fridge. son. One of my favorites of Tony was Regina Hall's here. She's starred in a movie One Battle After Another

Or as Lizzo calls it, Stairs. One of the cool is a lot of good ones. One of the cool things was happening at the Netflix's Jokes Fest was a lot of the comedians were trying their jokes out Yeah. During that week. So I didn't get to go to the roast And wasn't watching it live because I was on a plane, but I'd heard a lot of them and then rewatched it.

And I was like, oh, some of these made it. Some of them got changed along the way. Yes. There's a really cool process if you got to go to that week before, too. Yeah. Yeah, like Tony was on Me and Jelly Show, and Tony tried some of the roast jokes out and, like, prep them. And then Big Jay was great.

Oh, yeah, shout on Big Jay. And then it was cool to see Cat pull up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was a nice moment. There was a lot of speculation on whether, like, the beef is actually squashed. What you dick? I think if it is, it's really cool. And I think, like, Kav extending the olive branch is really cool.

Kev also did a really funny thing because like everybody made fun of him for being a bad actor. Like they're like, your movie suck and you suck at acting. And then he squashed the bees with Kat. And then when he does his thing at the end, it's like, all of y'all said, I was this horrible actor. Well, you believe me when I said that I squashed my beef with Cat. That was some of the best acting you've ever seen. So it was like a fun. That's good.

Yeah. Fun set up. But like, yeah, cool for Kat to just show up. Yeah. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. And you know that moment when you catch your reflection, you know, as your hairline isn't where it used to be proceeding slowly, you lie to yourself.

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Now let's get back to the show. How the Rock do? I didn't watch his set. It was fun. And he just is the Rock. Like, it wasn't so much like he had like a bunch of like super tight jokes. He's just the, he just walks in and it was like, oh, the Rock.

He's also good at performing in front of an arena of people. Exactly. He was like holding attention in the arena. Yeah. And then it was just going in about Kevin his wife. Just basically being like, call me. It was very funny.

Okay. But I like that. I just love Rose. No, they're great. They're great. And it is a great opportunity like, it is a great opportunity to just see somebody celebrated and humbled. Yeah.

And I think it's easier for like humans. to celebrate somebody while humbling them at the same time. You know, like if somebody gets a lot of success, like the maybe human instinct is just to start tearing them down. So in the process of celebrating you, we are going to tear you down. It's probably like why dudes give birthday punches to their friends. It's like, I can't just be nice to you all day.

Let me beat the shit out of you, and then I can be nice to you. So it's like we're already doing this at like eight years old or whenever we start birthday punches. Yeah. But it seemed like there was some real animosity. on that station. That was one thing.

They weren't doing that great of acting. I don't think Tony likes Chelsea Hammer that much. And Chelsea was like shaking when she was like, there's a difference between Judaism and Zionism, like to Shane. Yeah. Is there a little party that wishes you did it? I had some fomo.

I'll be honest with you. I did have a little bit of fomo. Because they asked you. I just, this is what I, the agents basically reached out and they're just like, you know, hey, we heard it's going to happen. Like, are you down? And I had talked to like Netflix about,

some other whatever and and I just had to make a decision between like developing a new hour of material to go tour or doing the

doing the roast because I know I wouldn't be able to do either I'd be like I'm just gonna lock myself in the fucking clubs and be working on my 10 minute thing and like

it becomes the whole month yeah or yeah two months two months maybe if you really want to do it in like Excel yeah you know but in retrospect

there's also versions like all right maybe I should just done it just had some fun jokes and just had Yeah, you should have did it. I know, I have a little phone. But I'm also glad that I focus on stand-up and I'm able to get back on the road.

And, like, that's... But yeah, that's it. When you see it, you're like, oh, man, that looks so much fun. You're a fucking idiot. I should have just fucking done it. Stupid. Well, it's nice to do it. It's the three months preparing where you're in fight camp.

Yes. You know what I mean? Like putting everything else off, not traveling with your kids. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got to travel with my kids. Yeah, you know what I mean? You got the benefit of that. It was good.

Yeah. But, no, it was, I don't know. It was just cool to see. They need Tiger to do it. Tiger Woods got to be the next one. Yeah. There was, he don't seem like he got a sense of humor.

Perfect. But that's even better. I like it when it's celebs, I think, I think a little more. Like, I like, that's what I liked with the Comedy Central ones

is like I enjoy seeing people kind of out of their element. Yes. Like when Beaver did it. Like Charlie Sheen. The vulnerability of it. Yeah. You know,

like, a comedian is, not to say that this wasn't awesome, but they're a little bit better at maybe like taking jokes about themselves. like Kevin might be one of the best ever at taking jokes. Like he'll tell you stories about going through it at the cellar. I mean, stories of him and Patrice.

Petrize used to throw a phone book at him while he was on stage. Yeah, he's like, read this. This is better than you have a game. So like Kevin is probably historically maybe one of the best ever. Rich Voss is another one who's like amazing at roasting, but he's a great person to get into a roast with. Yeah. Like he don't get sensitive. he gets like jazzed up by it.

I mean all those all the like OG seller guys. Bobby Kelly. Bobby Kevin Norton. Like literally my goats like the people I would just look at watch at the back table and be like this is Keith. Keith Robinson ledge. So yeah. So that was but yeah, when you see a celebrity that's not used to getting teased to their face. There's something about it.

It kind of adds some stakes to it. You're like oh shit, they're angry. Like when Tom Brady walked up to Jeff Ross and goes, don't talk about my fucking kids. Yeah. At the roast. that was real. Oh, really? No, it wasn't don't talk about my kids.

He actually said don't talk about Bob Kraft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. And that was real? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just kind of crazy.

Because there's something else at play. Like Brady doesn't need to do it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Apparently, I think Jeff was talking to Rogan about it. He was like Brady wanted to do it because that's, he loves Rose. Apparently Brady, like, when he's like in the locker room, like a couple hours before a game, like, kind of like decompress.

trying to escape a little bit, or maybe after game, whatever. But he'll just watch roast, like, old comedy central roast. That's crazy. And he was like, I like these kinds of jokes. And he wanted to do that, like, four comedies. Like, I want to relive this era of stand-up. They also paid him $20 million.

That helps. But for Tom Brady, I mean, that's, what is that? He said a funny thing. He's like, people are like, I can't believe that you let people talk about your ex-wife like that or something like that. And he's like, you can't believe I did this. It's like, my ex-wife cheated on me

with a fucking jujitsu instructor. He goes, I don't know a man on this planet that wouldn't take $20 million for people to make fun of him for that. They're just like, of course. But the ex-wife is fair game, but your former boss is off-limits? Boss never cheated on him.

Well, he did. He did live and get traded to Tampa. You know, he, I think he, damn, you're right about that. You're talking about that. bitch, man, that this guy over here. Bob Kraft. Bob Kraft took me to Israel, bro.

I mean, it's kind of like how you guys are with the Knicks, you know? Like, people shit on them. You guys get all of sense. You know, Mark, don't get fucked up. You haven't been fucked up in the middle of a podcast before? I'm just saying, like, have you ever? There's a weird feeling in New York right now.

What? That's like a jinx is coming? Why? Why you even got to say the word? I'm asking if that's what you're going to say. New Yorkers. Just chill out. arrogant. Chill out. I'm sorry. I'm asking. Motherfuckers on the planet. That's part of our charm. But we ain't used to things going this well with the mix.

And it's creating an interesting feeling. Like even at the cellar last night, there was a couple comics came up to me and they're like, hey man, how about those? And I was like, don't even talk about. He's like, I was like, Mike Candy, he goes, hey man, how about those? I was like, let's not even talk about. He's like, you're right. I don't want to talk about it. It's like Voldemort. It's like, Voldemort. Don't even mention it.

Things are going all right. Low key, I haven't been watching. I'm hesitant. Oh, that might be it. I'm hesitant to buy a ticket. I'm like, I ain't go to a single game this season. Maybe that's what. Just say they're expensive.

You say they're expensive, bro. That too. He's expanded the studios. That's why I'm not buying a board-sized seat. I don't want a jeans. Dead-ass. I ain't going to a single game, but like, yo, we've never been better. Sorry.

I was following the game. New Yorkers are so... You tell them you believe in God. You're like, oh, you're a religious moron. Yeah. And then you tell him you, like, wore Knicks jersey on the wrong day. And they're like, dude, you can't do that. It's part of a special spell.

It makes no sense. You believe in demons. Shut the fuck up. Bro, there's a whole book dedicated to a thousand years old. I believe in demons, too. And whatever demons have been putting pressure on my Knicks for the last 40 years, please alleviate some of that shit this year, demons. It is Sunday.

I've never felt this. People don't even want to talk about it in a group chat. My group chats for basketball games go crazy. And there's just like third quarter up by 40, someone would be like, looking good. Someone put a broom emoji. I think Juneo put the broom emoji in the group chat. Nobody even responds.

The second of the game was over. Like, yeah, we got that sweet. So I posted one video. a guy made. It was like a song about it about us sweep in Philly. And even after that, I was like, I ruined it.

Like I was... Oh, you posted it before the game pool? After, even after, I'm like, we still got another city. When is the next game? This the, what's it called series is 2-2. So we got to wait for them to settle that. So we got a little time to fuck shit up.

Yeah, they're going to start partying this shit. You know, everybody just don't go to Miami and get on the yacht. Don't make the mistake. They didn't lock in. You saw the interview with Jalen? They were like, how do you feel the fact that they built this team around you to win a championship and it's working? And his response was cool. He was like, look, right now I'm focused on this.

Like, I'll answer that question years from now when it's all said and done. Or something like that. Like, he seemed like he was very locked in. New York. New York. This is a public service announcement. If you see any of these motherfuckers at the club. snitch.

I don't even want you guys at Carbone, Theresee, I don't want you at Fort Charles. I don't even want you eat red meat for the next month. If you see any nicks out of the house, you got to call 311. What's the emergency hotline? Is it 311? You call 311 and you report them immediately. You guys got to be in your houses in Westchester, Jersey or Connecticut, wherever the fuck they stay.

No fucking hose. No. No fucking hose. And New York hose, by the way, New York hose. Help. Yeah. Stay away. Stay away.

Keep that pussy clothes for one month. Exactly. This is bloodsport. We need these motherfuggers fill with a stock hole for the next month. Do not drain these guys. Please, New York hose. Yeah. I would say Cleveland, Detroit, hose.

But I'm not worried about y'all. We're not fucking with y'all anyway. So you try your best. Do whatever you do to have got to come up. We are not worried about either Cleveland or Detroit Hose, draining New York Bulls. You try your artist. Do what we've been to Detroit in Cleveland. Okay?

We're coming back home to the wives. That away game is just that. There's no concern over here for our New York Knicks about getting caught up some shit in Cleveland, Detroit. Yeah, that is pretty good. Shit, or OKC. Who do you think's going to the finals on the West? I don't even know who's in it.

It's OKC or maybe San Antonio? Probably OKC, most likely. Yeah, so we have a clear path in terms of hose To the I don't even want to say the words But if it's LA versus New York They could throw some serious distraction at the boys You gotta watch out for OG Say again

OG Oh yeah with the hammy Yeah Wait what And the hose Wait what do you mean? He brings the hose out Yeah we can't have all that

You gotta chill out Chill out Yeah Are we even allowed to look at that at the odds right now? Is this... Look at the West. Yeah, look at the West.

What is the Calumia have the West at? Who's coming out of the West? San Antonio or Oklahoma? 74 on San Antonio. Or on Oklahoma, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, most likely it's gonna be OKC.

But we got, I mean... Nothing. We'll see. We can see what happens. Yep, yep. Best team will win. Yeah, made the best team win. Yep.

Now y'all are making the superstitious. I don't think you know what this means, bro. I really don't. Honestly, I don't. If the Knicks win, we will make Mom Dani a citizen. I think he's a citizen. No. Double citizen.

We're going to make him a double citizen. What do that mean? He's going to get what he gets to be whatever he wants in the United States. He could use his African accent. If he wins, he could use his African accent for the rest. The week. A week. The rest of the United States.

You get to do. A, New York will be a communist city if he wins. I mean, the Soviets are good at sports. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just saying, the Soviets, they had a great run. Fucking Connie. I'm hoping you go out. There's something about a little Soviet, you know what I mean,

hammer and sickle vibes that makes a good sports team. That's all I'm saying. Maybe we could use a little more of that. Think about all the women in Burkas. the men are going to be smashing. A little more testosterone. Right? You would think that the Middle East

would be better as sports if that was the case, right? I don't even know if they got athletes. Is there a sport that they're good at over there? Well, when they go somewhere else, then they get really good. For example. They go to France, you know what I mean?

But who from the Middle East went to France? From, like, Northern Africa. Northern Africa. Yeah, of course. I mean, Zinnitin Zadon, Kareem. But that's Africa. I'm talking about the Middle East. I mean

Mosala Goes to England Mosala is from Egypt Yeah That's the Middle East It's Africa My boy My boy

My boy You don't consider Egypt The Middle East No I mean If I'm being honest with you I do But not for this

Yeah it is But it is But it's Africa Those are Africans I'm saying Middle East Who's nice at sports And what sport

Are they good at I mean That's wild Falconry or whatever Falconerine. Yeah, I'm looking right now. There's not a ton. Yeah, so I don't know if the burqa elicits like a testosterone-induced drive that makes you good at a sport.

I think the sport has to be baked into the culture. Yeah, probably true. Yeah. Let me find out what the best athletes are in the Middle East. Or even sports. They're probably good at like darts or something. Nah, darts is a drinking man's game. Yeah, you got to.

drink to do that one. That's a good point. Why would you think they'd be good at that? Yeah, why was that? I don't know. I just figured it'd be like kind of an obscure sport where you're like, hitting a small target from a long distance away, you think that they'd be good at that for some reason. Some of them. They had a good run in the early 2000s, you know?

They had a good run a little bit. Which country in Pacific? Yeah, it would be so good at that. I mean, you know. Mark, do you have any? Some of the Saudi boys are pretty good. Back in the day. Those were big targets, though.

I mean, sort of. You can't even miss it. No, you can miss it. Honestly, dude? You could miss it. I don't think you could miss it. Would you be so embarrassed, having it to loop around? Bro.

Going straight down the middle. And slicing between them, like that dude in the wingsuit. You just go right between it and then everybody's confused. They're like, oh, somebody saved it. Then you see it slowly. Oh, hold. Yeah. Yeah.

It's crazy. That would be nuts. You're doing tricks on it. Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't seem like there's a... That soccer is what they say, but I can't think of the best... Amirati or Saudi soccer player or Omani. Yeah, I don't think they got it, man.

Yeah. I don't think they got it. Anyway, shout out the Knicks, man, and we got you back. We're here, and the whole city is coming together. So whatever you guys need, we got you. But we also are going to call 3-1-1 if we see you out of the clubs or see... you're getting after hoes. And I think that that's like our responsibility

is a city to do. Yeah, yeah. Given that our tax dollars are going to pay for these arenas to be built, et cetera. Yeah. You know, we've been supporting you guys all year. But no snitch rule doesn't apply now. Yeah.

I don't even think it's snitching, bro. It's not. It's a civic duty. I think it's a civic duty. Yeah, but if you see something, say something. If you see a nut off and shit like that, you snitching on them,

yeah, come on. I mean, like, you could get your nut off next month, bro. Yeah. Imagine the nuts you're going to get off with a championship. Yep. Imagine a caliber. Okay.

Thinking about the type of nuts and tooth could get out of the size of those nuts. Think about how much. It's the gay's fucking cow. Hypothetically, if someone wins the championship, someone. They're going to be proud. Think about how big those nuts will be everywhere they want, anywhere. On this podcast. I think, man, I mean, it's easy for me to say as a married.

man, you know, but like, I think Martha Stewart got to open up for the boys. Why? Why Martha Stewart? That was. Did you mean to say Martha Stewart? Nah. That's interesting, man. I was thinking of someone that wasn't with this.

Yeah, man. Who was I thinking of, man? No, you said. I think Margaret Thatcher need to open up for the boys, man. I think Margaret Thatcher needs to give it up for the boys. Did I get that one wrong again, too? I think, I hope you got to wrong. I don't think it was Margaret Thatcher.

Someone. Someone's got to open it up. No one that we know. Honestly, Mark's grandmother. Joe. We'd all do respect. Come on, bro. I mean,

for a Knicks championship That's a two for one Yeah, she won us the war That's the next one This is the next war And this is almost like a more unlikely scenario

But if they threw her in a spitfire If you get If you get If you had her Just spinning like a little chicken On the rotissary Come on, man With all due respect

British intelligence Let's not talk about foreign spies. Oh. Let's not talk about foreign spies infiltrating our... Can we do feelings no facts? Yes. All right, guys, stay a break for a second. Here's something that anyone who's ever hired, anyone will tell you.

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Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. All right, guys, listen up. We are actually doing something meaningful for once, all right? It's called the Life Paddle Classic. And huge shout out to NeuroGum because they are supporting it. We are getting everybody together for paddle good vibes,

a little competition, and most importantly, raising money for families, going through IVF. And this is the important part. 100% of the proceeds are going directly to BabyQuest. That's the IVF charity that I've been working with. They're absolutely phenomenal organization. They're helping families who are struggling with the insane cost of IVF. And we're going to help them. Okay. We're trying to help take care of some of that burden off of people. Now, if you can't pull up to the event, you can still support it by grabbing the Andrew Schulton neurodad bundle. Okay. You get the energy.

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and a huge shout out to Paddlehouse for hosting it. It's an absolutely amazing place to go play paddle. You guys should do that outside of this charity event. But definitely come hang out to charity event, have some fucking drinks, have some food, choose some NeuroGum, and just hang. forth. That's what we're going to be. We'll see you there. Okay. Let's just go feelings no facts and just ripped through

these as fast possible, okay? There's a Chinese spy that's the mayor in a town in California. Do you hear about this? Arcadia. Mm-hmm. I've been trying to tell you. Yo, can we give out a little credit? Come all, man. Give out a little credit on this podcast right now today. Everybody

listening and everybody watching. Alex Media has said that there is a Chinese spy network that has been operating the United States for the last decade that he's been on this podcast. He's been called racist for this. He's been called hateful for this. I don't know if I call that. They said you were a bigot.

He's been called a bigot. They got tunnels all throughout China town. Not just the Jews, bro. Where did Al start his company? Hey, I'm switching signs. I told China. No, they got that motherfucker out of here. Al was probably the one who snitched.

No, I think Al's set up WTF around the world. Oh, the spy. In the Chinese spy home? You do have one in California. I do. And you have him in New York. Dude, come on, man Come on, man.

But I'm switching sides. I don't care. I'm that gymnast. Taking a bag. The skier? Yeah. Oh, skiing, whatever. Whatever.

I saw Aline Gould. I saw Aline Gould last week. Really? She definitely listened to the pod. Let me tell you that. Yeah? Yo, shout out to you. Get the bag.

She definitely listened to the pod. You felt this. Or she knew that her home girl was about to get outed as a spy in L.A. Oh, she was pissed. As the mayor. So she was worried about the walls closing in a little bit. The Great Wall. The Great Wall is closing in.

So what happens to this mayor? She gets killed, right? No, that's... Isn't that treason? Yeah, treason. The punishment for treason is death. Yeah. But what do you have to do to be treasonous?

You have to be a Chinese spot. Yeah, that's pretty much. That's not treason. If you get caught being a spy in a different country, is that treason? No, if you're an American citizen, which I assume she is, because she's mayor of Arcadia,

and then she's handing off secrets to the Chinese. You obviously have to kill her in the most Chinese way possible. I think we got to run her over with a tank in the middle of a square. First, bind a feet up, though. Bind a feet up so she can't move.

Let me get a peep at them. And then we run her over with a tank in a square. Damn. Guys, this is not like, I'm just trying to be a constant. I'm America first. The felony charges come with potential sentence of up to 10 years in prison.

Ten years for being a snitch. Not enough. They live mad long, bro. That's exactly. It's not even a dent. Ten years. That's another thing. Your sentence should be dependent on how long you live in America.

Proportional taxing. Exactly. So like Asians got to spend way longer. Yeah. Black people, not that long. Yeah. That's good. Reduce it a little bit.

That's progressive policy right there. Well, because it's about equity, not equality. Yeah, I like that. I like that. Mom, Donnie's America. Clock it. Clock it. It's about equity, not equality.

So if Asians average between 200 and 300 years of life, then a life sentence to them should be at least like five times the average. So this person right here, you're saying you can't just kill someone for treason. I thought that is the punishment. I don't know if that's bad. I don't think she's going up on treason charges. I don't know if she's a citizen charges. I can't even find a definitive answer.

How the fuck is she mayor if she's not a citizen? Yeah, I don't think so. I don't know. What fucking country do we live in? No, I'm saying we should. I'm saying we should. Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's a citizen.

No, he's not. Arnold Schwarzenegger is not a citizen. Of course he's a citizen. He'll sound like one. Well. Al. Al, fucking Al right now. Olmey-wow.

His bad baby. What makes it with a citizen, my mom, well, yeah, she's a citizen. My mom got an accent. Yeah, but she got it after the fact. What do you mean? My mom got her Scottish accent after she became a citizen. Like mad and late. She got her citizenship.

Yeah, but so did Arnold. He got a citizenship late. Check the papers. He got it in 1983. Yeah. Yeah. 1983, he's a citizen now. And look at Eileen Wang or whatever her name.

Why are they all named Eileen? Eileen and Esther. So when Chinese people move here, they take a biblical first name. You go, Peter is a good one. Mark Lucas. You'll find a lot of biblical first name and then Chinese as fuck last name. Yeah. Esther, huge.

There's so many Chinese people named Esther or Asians name Esther. I think it's a smart move. It's like you're moving to a host country. You want to make sure that your kids are like not teased or whatever for your Chinese name. Yes. I don't think Eileen's a biblical name. I lean back so you could suck this deal. This thing is the best, bro.

Go on, man. You go home. You go home. Get back. Bring your grandma. Bring your grandma. While I'm leaning back, bring your grandma. It's all the due to smash.

Let me just do the rest of the stories. This is stupid. This is don't, dude. Yo, the long play on the house, though. Damn Woo, that was fire All right He knew that was for you too

Because I ain't gonna know No biblical day Still got it Still got it Still got it Young Shultzy Still guy Can we do some feelings

No facts You gotta take a drug stuff Can we do So hold on So what's gonna happen To this little Chinese Finger trap in Los Angeles Did she get locked up

Like we gotta have Some sort of punitive measure taking place here. Yeah. Should make it 10 years? It's not treason. And that's all I got. Can we revoke the citizenship? I don't know if she's even a citizen, bro. I don't know.

Guys, what fuck? Do we have a country? Yeah, like, do we even have a country? You can be an elected official and you're not even a citizen of the United States of America? What the fuck is the point? So is she a citizen? Nothing on this says she's a citizen. Can we look up Arcadia and

see what's Asian or Chinese about it that we should have known? Let's find out. Yeah. I don't even know really where Arcadia is. It's like Los Angeles, but it's like outskirts. Oh, really? Yeah.

Have you been there? No, I looked it on a map today. I zoomed out, looked at it. Arcadia, California is a city in Los Angeles County. United States located at 13 miles northeast of downtown Los Angeles in the San Gabriel Valley. At the base of the San Gabriel Mountains, It contains a series of adjacent parks and citizens of the San Anita Park, race track.

Let's go through demographics. Yeah. Okay. It looks like 18% white. 1.5% black. 64% Asian. 13% his... No, no.

This is America. You can't just bomb a place in America. Nope. No. No. No. No, no, no, stop, stop. People got to know who you are.

You can't. You can't know who you are. You can't do that. People got to know. Stop it. They got to know who you are, man. It's funny Al's rules about what he wants bleeped. Because his actual rule on that is he doesn't want the violence thing.

Yeah, it's violence. But nobody got a bomb even. Like, nobody listening to this is going to hear your idea and then execute it. They're like, oh, yeah, we should bomb it. And what if they do? Boom. Exactly. That will happen.

Boom. That's exactly. Okay, the top The top private employers in the city are Atlas Assembly Fish in a bucket That may be like Fishing a bucket enterprise

That's real Nordstrom Macy's And Cheesecake Factory also din tai fung son how the fuck did we elect a Chinese fish head spy as mayor of a city in Los Angeles

how is that even humanly possible they took over the whole city all sleeper cells so you think it extends beyond just her oh yeah so you think there are other people in the administration there are also Chinese spies like why would it just be her

I think we need to do some serious betting. Why is nobody talking about this? Like this isn't a big fucking deal. Yeah, it's a little sketchy. Oof, I'm going through some of their last marriage. So, Eileen Wang, Sharon Kwan, Michael Chow,

Paul Chang, Shote, Shote again. The baseball player? No. Shotay Otani, exactly. And then Roger Chandler. Yo,

So, guys, funny timing, because Trump's in China right now speaking to J.G. Ping. Oh, really? Yeah. You think they waited for this? I think so. Funny timing. Now, did Trump bring it up to him? Now, by waited, who is who waited?

Is this? Ooh, this is interesting. Is this the Trump administration going, hey, what the fuck is going on over here? We want a bargaining chip to get something out of you. We know that you're trying to, like, interfere with our democracy, so give us a little something, we won't make a big stink of this, or is this democratic opposition trying to sabotage his trip with China? Oh, no, no.

I think it's the first because he's going over there a little bit weak because of how shit is going with Iran right now. He kept signaling like, oh, we're going to have this shit figured out. And now it's not. So now China got a little pressure like, yo, you fucking up this. You are fucking up. Yeah. So now he's going over with it. That's a little leverage point right there.

It's like, oh, world, you got spies over here? Word? I mean, yo, shout out China, bro. That was impressive. I keep telling you. It's kind of a game recognized game. I keep telling you. It's like, this is how audacious it is.

Like, if you were a spy, like, if we send a spy over somewhere, I don't think you'd make them the mayor or the city. You make them like the mayor's best friend or something. But it's a tough sell everywhere else. Like, there's no, there's no America town in China. Probably not. We need one. Yo, it is crazy that like... Do your civil duty.

If there was an American, if there was an American that had moved to another country and became a politician, 1,000% that other country would assume they were a spy for America. Right? Like, there's not even a question because they already assumed that we're influencing their elections even without being over there. So if we were, they'd be like 100% they have loyalty to. But if we question it at all is racism. Right? Yeah, yeah. There is a good, like, but if another country, if an American move there and became an elected official, I would think that they would be retarded to not assume that they had loyalty to America and that they were working on our behalf.

Yeah. I wouldn't go, oh, that's racism to assume that they're an individual operating under their own auspices. No, I'd be like, yeah, they... To make sense. If they weren't working for us, I'd be like, the fuck are they over there for it? Yeah. Boris Johnson. You mad at this little skier bitch for taking their money.

I'm not mad at nobody. I'm just curious. I'm just What is Tucker saying? I was asking questions. Boris Johnson, born in New York City, had U.S. citizenship, and then became Prime Minister of the U.K., and renounced his citizenship.

Got him. Got him. Daniel Naboa. No, but he denounced his citizenship, though. Yeah, but you got to do what you got to do to lead the nation. Oh, okay. Born in Miami, holds Ecuador and U.S. citizenship, became President of Ecuador in 2023.

That I understand. Pope Leo. U.S. born from Chicago became the Pope. and now is the president of the Vatican. That's pretty cool. Yeah, but don't you... He's kind of getting a son, though. Trump is kind of son in his thing.

Trump knows the Bible better. That's what the dude said on which would call it. He's like, yeah, obviously the Pope doesn't know what's in the Bible. Trump knows what's in the Bible. No, he did not say that. He said, like, based off of the rhetoric going on, obviously Trump must know more about Christianity of the Pope. Sarcastically, or dead-in-fucking serious.

He's being serious. Yo, what is going on? Yeah, that's a hard job to just cap for that motherfucker all the time. Like, you know, just let it go, man. He's fucking up everything. Just call it what it is. Like, you don't have to fucking cap for this dude.

Like, I see that guy, Scott Jennings. He's losing hair. Do you know that guy who's on CNN in his job? Just be like everything Trump was doing his right? You could tell he is stressed. He's cursing that little teenagers they got out there arguing them. Every new CNN guy is younger than the last one. Yeah.

Right? He's like a 14-year-old putting his finger in his face. Get your fucking hand on my face. Like, he's stressed. Because there's no way. Like, open the street. Anyway, are you going to go to Arcadia for any shows coming up? I got to perform in Arcadia.

Yeah. I'm going there for Chinese New Year. What was that Chinese New Year celebration? Do you think they leaned in or do you think they, like, they made it quiet? Because they're like, yeah, we are already running this shit. No, they probably went. Also, what's in Arcadia that's advantageous to the Chinese government? Is there a research lab there?

They say it has one of the best public transit systems in California. Oh, yeah. All right. We're in. It's known for it. it's light rail and it's buses, fire. Hmm. They're good at fucking making railroads.

Yeah. I would I would give it up to them in that regard. Historically speaking, they made some good railroads. Some of the best, too. Yeah. They also have any rare metals and shit.

Any rare metals? Yeah. Some chip factors. They got to have some stuff over there. They have a great health care system. 22 acre Arcadia Hospital. It's an official hospital. The hospital of the 8thmore.

I know. God, dude, what's going on? What's going on? What's going on? They're good nurses, too. Apparently. No, check the hospitals. They probably got all the shit on there.

They got some deals going on over there. And they have some famous people that have moved out of there. Like Erica Wu, a table tennis champion. Obviously. That's pretty good. Mark Twan, member of the South Korean boy band, GOT7. Jet Lee, international film star, resided in Arcadia,

with his wife, former Miss China. Yo, he was asking to come on a pod. We got to talk to him about this. Yo. We got to reach out to him and see what's going on. I'm with that. I'll press him. How would you press the guy who's like a martial artist?

I'm going to throw miles in front of me. Okay, can we do more feelings of facts? Yes. Okay, haunt a virus. Fake. Alex? Real. He's fucking idiot.

I don't think it's real. People died already. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. Three people die. They're on a boat. Let me tell you something. Three people died.

Let me tell you something. Nobody's getting off that boat. 150 people got off the boat already. This is why we got pandemics. This is why we got pandemics. Guys, if there's a deadly virus on the boat, they stay on the boat. It's not like they can't eat on the boat. It's not like they can't live.

Quarantine until everybody dies. And then we don't have a pandemic. This is the headline from CNN. All passengers evacuated from cruise ship hit by it on the virus. To evacuate the people with the virus. China got to be looking at this. These motherfuckers about to do it again. These dumb motherfuckers about to do it again.

And you know where that's at? Spain. You know where I just came from? Oh, come on, Al. Patient number one, baby. Come on, Al. Patient number one. What I'm going to go back?

Patient number one. You're not either. Nah. I brought it here first. Someone already died. They're patient number one. Yeah, but if I brought it here. You're just a side bitch.

You didn't even get the. the first herpes. You got some other bitches herpes. No, you got to keep them on the boat in perpetuity.

And if they make it, they make it and God bless them them. If they don't, it'd be like that. Just leave them on the boat. Also, it's the Canary Island. Owned by Spain. It's Africa.

Shut up. No, no, I think he's making a good point, which is like, would they unload them to Europe? No. But will they unload them to Africa? Yeah.

Yeah, but Canary Islands, where all the Spanish people go to fucking, that's their Miami. But they got to stop it. They got to stop it. You know, I'm not allowed to go. I'm being dead serious, guys. Like, why are we being so loosey-goosey with this? If it's a deadly virus, you keep him on the boat. We see what happens.

It's not like we shouldn't give them food. Give them food. Give them doctors, whatever. But you just... Also, don't dock it. If we're doing this hypothetical, don't put it at a dock. Oh, you're out there. Bye.

Leave it out. And then bring the food out and back. The way the Dutch guy got it is hilarious. I told you how he got it. Fucking a rat. He was a rat fucker. You'll listen? Apparently he went to a trash dump on his vacation.

And then? But he went to the trash dump first. That was like a part of his sightseeing. Why? That part is not explained. From what I understand, it is a landfill, and it says the world's most southern landfill. Because it's at the bottom of the continent. And he checked it out.

Oh, because it was in Argentina. That's a new shire. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, on my vacation, my wife, we're going to go look at garbage. I blame y'all. Yeah, white people always just got to look at shit. That part is kind of on us. Like, yeah, I'd be doing this shit.

Like, come on, bro. That is on us. You're right. I don't even know what to say. I'm embarrassed. Yeah, because I want to know what the trash don't looks like. Like, a little party is like, you're curious. I wish I wasn't.

Because it's so far south. Because you're like, there's no way they have trash this far south. I also need to see what, like an Argentinian trash. Yeah. You ought to look like. You ought to look like. It's just got like Nazi memorabilia in it. No, no, no.

The trash dump has a bunch of birds that come and pick food off of it. It's a birding site. Oh, God, with the white people and the birds, man. Fucking... This weirder, look how cool this is. Whoa. That's fire. Isn't that sick?

Do you want to see? No. You don't even want to... You're not even curious a little bit. No, not at all. Guys, not at all. We need to do better. We need to do better.

But you just leave them on the boat. All right, what else we got? Phyllis no facts. Okay. UFO files been dropped by Trump officially. Desperation. Yeah, that's desperation, man. That's how you know he's fucking up.

I don't know. I mean, yeah, people have not been super stoked about this file release. Because it's nothing. It's just like black and white, target practice. You could create it with AI. Like, no. This is the Epstein binders. Yeah, a whole lot of nothing.

Yeah, a whole lot of nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Though I would like to talk to a UFO guy, because I want to understand why they are so convinced it's real. Like, I spoke to that Bob Lazard dude. And, like, he convinced me that what he believed, he convinced me that he wasn't lying. Now, that doesn't mean that it is true what he was working on was UFO technology. But, like, I don't believe that he was a liar that was just trying to, like, grift and make money.

Yeah. If anything, I believe that he, like, didn't really want to share it because he had, like, received so much backlash throughout. his entire life. I didn't like Trump's tweet is a little that's how I knew it was bullshit. Why? It's because Trump goes As from my promise to you, the Department of War has released the first tranche of UFO

UAP files to the public review. People can decide for themselves, what the hell is going on? Have fun and enjoy. That's when I was like, all right, the second you're signing off is like, have fun. I'm like, all right. You know ain't nothing in there, bro. Release the second tranche of the Epstein files with all your homies and you're up and that shit.

Release that. Release the unredacted Epstein files. That's what we want to see. We don't want to see UFOs. But what about this? You're not convinced when you look at this? What is that, dude? It's a plane, bro.

All right, well, what about this one? Oh, that's a little weird now? It's a blimp. All right. Well, what about this one? This one's even crazier. Look at this. It's AI.

Oh, aliens. Anyway. Go on. All right. They found a allegedly, a suicide note from Epstein. You got to read the suicide note. Read the suicide note and tell me...

You read the suicide note and tell me that Trump didn't write it himself. I defy you to read the suicide note and tell me that this isn't exactly Trump's way of speaking. So it says this. They investigated me for month, found nothing. So 15-year-old charges resulted. It's a treat to be able to choose when you say goodbye. What you want me to do, bust out crying.

No fun underlined. Not worth it. But I heard there was like other emails where he said similar. Yeah, but like you don't think that they went through the emails and we're like, hey, grab a few things he says regularly and then we'll write some bullshit ass note that justifies that he killed himself. This administration, they do stupid shit. They don't, like, that sounds like that's stupid. No, but that sounds like the logical thing. He wrote it in his own voice.

Read it. I mean, I'm so, like, we don't have to do Trump accents anymore, but like, read it in his voice. Do you have the actual writing? Yeah, yeah, this is the actual number here. No one can read that chicken scratch. Let me see if I can find the actual words that he says. It's all broken up in this article. I don't know.

They don't understand how to do media. So. I got it right here. God, I can't believe I'm going to do a fucking Trump accent. I'm not going to do a Trump accent, but I'll do the donation of it. They investigated me for months,

found nothing, is a treat to be able to choose one's time to stay goodbye, what you want me to do, bust out crying, no fun, not worth it, kill himself.

Thank you for attention to this matter. Thank you for attention. That's a Trump tweet right there. So they just find them stuff in the emails, like make it look like it. Now, people have pointed this. where they're like, this is an actual Epstein letter that he wrote to someone.

And they're like, look at all the T's. Look at how he writes. Yeah, but you could use AI to recreate all this shit. But then they look at his writing here and they're like this doesn't look like his writing at all. Yeah, because it's not. It's Cash Patel and his fucking eye trying to stay on the line. Guys, this is such fucking,

I can't believe we're even, I understand why we're entertaining this, but like, I can't believe anybody believes it. Yeah, no. Like what the whole thing is, not the whole thing, but a big part of what this is hinging on is that he actually killed himself. Right? Like they're going, there's no foul play here, even though there's tons of foul play.

But look, there's proof right here. He has this thing where he says goodbye. And it helps the powers that be to be like, yeah, he's gone. He killed himself. You know, they're basically. This is proof that he did. They're saying, get over it. We're not getting over it, bro. Someone got to get arrested. I will say I do think it's possible that Epstein wrote it. It just doesn't read to me like a suicide, though.

Like, he doesn't say goodbye to anyone. He doesn't say to my friends, to my family. I love, like, nothing like that. He's just like, jail sucks. There was another note purportedly attributed to Epstein that was also found that basically is just like him recounting his time in prison. He's like, was in a shower locked for an hour, bugs crawling across my hands, no fun, not worth it. It is a kind.

I mean, it's not funny, but it is that so far the only person that's been arrested in the entire Epstein case in the United States of America is a woman. It's so absurd that it's funny. It's horrible. Like, he just points out that this is absolutely horrible, but there's a pedophile ring that they're obviously like keeping under wraps. The most powerful men in this country are abusing children in a systematic manner and you know who's going to pay for it? The one woman involved is the only one locked up. It's insane, right?

It is. It's like, I'm shocked that all like the feminist blogs aren't talking about this nonstop. Like, it's a tough old to die. Yeah, I know. It's like, because you also got to be like, Free Galeigh. No, don't say free it, but like, how is this the only person arrested, the girl? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, in fairness, Epstein did get arrested. Yeah. But then he broke out. Yeah. But then he went on the run. Technically, the only person, because was Gellane convicted? Yeah.

Yeah. So the only person convicted in the entire operation. Yes. Abroad and here. Yeah. is a woman. Like, how is, like, that's an insane stat. Yeah.

As someone who does not like to enable people who talk about how sex is the world is, we've reached a rock and a hard place or something like that. Like, this seems blatantly sexist. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, not one person convicted besides the woman at fault. Is this what happens when you have a girl, man? Yeah.

Yeah. As soft as you are, bro. It does. But that is crazy. Nah, it is nuts. She should be convicted. Yeah. But there must have been somebody else we could convict too.

Yeah. Oh, the other dudes are also better off of themselves. You know what I mean? John Lund Brunel, off himself. Oh, that's true. What? Yeah, women aren't as good as... At suicide.

That's a good point. It's because they can't make up their minds. Like, what am I going to eat? Yeah, which one is it? I don't know what to eat. They've ruminating back and forth to it. I want to live. Do I want to die?

Do I want to hang? Do I want to shoot myself? Do I want to, you know, it's like, they can't make up their fucking mind so you end up in jail, locked up. You're just locked up, walking around the yard. Yeah. Apparently she's having a great time,

according to people on the inside. What are they saying? They're saying that she's, like, in a very nice prison. People are taking care of her. She gets to play with puppies. Yeah. She's doing, like, therapy with dogs, trying to reintegrate back in a society.

Sounds like my wife. Just locked inside of the dogs. So yeah, justice won't be served. That shit is crazy, bro. They really gonna get away with this shit. They fucking way. They're really gonna get away with this shit. They need to lock up Malfa, too.

That's another one. Yeah. I did that so poorly. I did that so poorly. It was so bad. I almost bit in the net. Oh, that would have been so happy. I was trying to tie it together.

Come on Eileen. Okay, more feelings, no facts? Yes. Strickland beats Hamza. What a fight. Crazy. Also, the fight before that, Joshua Van versus the mayor of Arcadia. Unbelievable, dude.

The fight, those two fights were fantastic. And the, but the Joshua Van, I think his name is Taro or something, Tyro, was unbelievable. I didn't even see him. Then Strickland beating Hamzot. Tazzoor Tair. Tyro, yeah, was fucking incredible. It was a lot of shit talking, like real shit talking. Yeah.

And then they were like really cordial with one another afterwards. Oh, they were. Put the belt around them. Strickland goes and apologizes. Yeah. You know, like, Strickland is a fascinating character. Like, I mean, this fight was just grew up five rounds. Strickland, put on some sides.

So Strickland's big, dude. But he looks even... Hamzot couldn't... I mean, Hamzot kept him down. I think it was the first round. And... But he couldn't really do any damage or anything. And then Strickland in the second round,

blocks a takedown, and then Hamzot gives up... He's what's called pulls guard. So he essentially goes on his back, like, almost walks him. I don't know if I've ever seen Hamzot do that in MMA. Like, not a single fight where he just rolls on his back. And in that moment, you're going, what the fuck is happening over here? Does he lack confidence?

Is he tired? Like, what's going on? Then Hamza kind of comes back in the fourth. So it was up to the fifth round. Like it was an awesome fight. These guys were warriors and, yeah. But Hansa wasn't trying to take him down the whole fight? I think Strickland created a scenario where

Humzat realized, like, I'm going to gas myself out trying to take you down. And I'm not going to be effective after I take you down. So Strickland does this fucking amazing thing where he makes you, when he's at his best. He makes you fight his fight. He blocks leg kicks really well, and eventually you stop throwing the kicks because you're like, it hurts when we're going shit on shin. And his competitive advantage is when you guys are standing up and you are

punching each other. And he found a way where he's like, I don't need to take this to the ground. What I need you to do is think you can't be effective on the ground. I don't need to exchange kicks with you. What I need you to do is not want to kick me anymore. So he punishes you for doing the things you're good at and it forces you to fight him the way that he's good.

Oh, okay. And then he has just this, like, amazing, like, piston jab, and it was just awesome. Like, the fight was fucking awesome. Is it good for the weight class to see Strickland? I think... I think it's always good to have a

American fighter be a belt holder, especially, like, a wild point. I know people will hate certain things that he said, etc. Like, I mean, bro, his nose is completely busted up, like broken and just fucking massive and swollen. And he looks at himself and he sees himself in like a reflection of something. He was like, oh, my God, I look like I work for APEC. So, like, there's going to be things that he says that rock people up.

But you have to understand, like, this is fight sports where these guys go out there and they try to kill each other. You know what I mean? Like, they say insane shit to people. Like, this is, you won't talk about, like, the roast being insane. stuff, these guys are saying and stay in stuff before they go out there and potentially lose their life or take someone's life. And that's not hyperbole. That happens sometimes in this sport.

So I'm not saying that like everything they say is okay, but it is a very, when you're fighting somebody for your life, you will speak very differently about them and to them than you will outside of that. And it's going to elicit all these emotions. It's going to seem like I'm justifying the things he said, whatever, I don't care of what you want to say. What I'm saying is until you're in that scenario, you don't know how you would really act.

And the reality is when these fights do get hyped up in that way, there's more interest and these guys make more money. Now, you could start to be critical of that. Be like, well, is it worth making the money? It's like, all right, well, you're not putting your life on the line every time you go on the fucking ring. And the market

decides, we are more invested when the guys fucking hate each other. When the guys are super pleasant and like, let's shake hands and let's hug and kiss before a fight. We don't care as much. Yeah, that's honestly the only thing I heard about this was the shit-top. Yeah. And the build-up was crazy. People have criticized

the grapplers, and they're like, oh, these grapplers, like, they make the fights boring. Yeah, it is. It is, for a casual fan, it is boring. It is. It's like, I understand if you're a grappler and you've dedicated your life to that. That's super interesting to you because it's incredibly technical and, like, each tiny move

is setting up another move, and that's great. And the point is to win. The point is to win, and they win. But what the casual fan likes is carnage and fistacuffs and kicks. They really kind of want a kickboxing match that can also go to the ground. That's kind of what the casual fan really appreciate. So like having someone who's going to go out there and swing is what they want. And like the people that have done that at the highest level are the people that probably

have made the most money. Like, you know, Connor just knocking people out is really fun to watch. The heavy weights just going and bang and knock people out, fun to watch. The guy's kind of wrestling or the guys, you know, you know, grappling. They're just not going to be as big stars. Yeah. That bare knuckle fighting shit that you was watching when they're biting people's nose off.

That was like, can that ever be sanctioned? Well, I think they do it, bare knuckles. So the BKFC is the Bear Knuckle League? Yeah, but with the biting, like all the shit. Everything goes. Why is there just, we can't do that? There should just be one fight league where anything goes. I mean, they have these like...

You're just describing Rome right now. No, it's not even Rome. There is one. They're these underground fights. Fuck, I'm forgetting the name. You guys are probably seen it where like the guys, they fight in like a parking lot or like an alley or something like that. And these guys that organize it, all the organizers wear masks. And they have their like, I think they might even have their like voices fucked up or whatever.

And they're like, it's like an illegal fight ring. And they just pay guys who are willing to do it. You can gouge eyes. Like you literally see guys pushing each other's eyeballs into their heads. And you see it. I don't know how it's available on YouTube. but I watch it on fucking social media. Get the fuck out of here.

Oh, wow. So that does exist, and that's the most gnarly version of it. Maybe I'm getting too soft. That sounds like that. It's hard to watch, but I watch. Just follow it with some cocoa milly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Well, any closing thoughts? Anything you want to say about cocoa melon or the roast or the nix or haunted virus? just good vibes for the next guys just good vibes good vibes for the next good vibes good vibes for the next okay congratulations to Sean on an amazing victory

a haunt a virus you gotta keep them on the ship man I really really really really feel strongly about that I do and film it turn to reality show honestly streaming on Bravo right

I'd watch that right yeah we should do a trader's with just Chinese people and you got to

pick out which mayor which mayor or which Olympic ski or whatever like you got to pick out which one are actually loyal

to United States of America and which ones are working for China I like this idea yeah that's pretty good this is a that's honestly pretty good and they're all in a boat let's not get too crazy

it's one person is a haunted a You're adding a lot of elements to this right now. It's layered. Super layered. It is layered. It is layered. And then UFO files. Hopefully we get the proof that there's aliens. Yeah.

And then the roast. I hope we do more. Yeah, the roasts are fantastic. Congratulations. Everybody who crushed it on the roast, you gave me an unbelievable fomo. And keep killing it. Yeah, I think we just need more rows. I also like the idea of like every other year.

because they didn't do one last year. You know what I mean? Like spacing them out is kind of nice too because it feels like an event. If it's too regular, I feel like you kind of get used to it. Also like, roast jokes kind of start to sound similar.

You know, so just like spacing out a little bit so we forget, we miss it, and then fucking bang. And now you've got two years to get, you know, Tiger to do it

or somebody else to do it. I like that. I like that. Like the Olympics is great. So every four years. The World Cup is great. it's every four years. You could even go every four years.

Yo, an inter-country roast. You get one comment from every country. We don't get a fucking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. I don't want to. What if we got, Eileen? Eileen.

Why would you even try? Eileen Wang. Why would you even try the joke we did already? He's so mad. He got caught. That's just so dumb. It's not fair. We love you.

We appreciate you. We see on Patreon. Peace.