Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - New York Will NEVER Die

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia and Mark discuss if New York is dead, how to not get robbed, lockdown laws are for re-election not safety, Tory Lanez shooting Meg Thee Stallion and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2

I'm feeling emotional everybody I'm feeling our gosh is right I'm in my feelings um I don't like people saying New York is done I don't like all this New York is done shit and I realize what it is uh this making me so emotional as you say getting me so annoyed I don't think men like to say we're emotional you know Charlemagne will say it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's really in touch with shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not that in touch. I'm annoyed.

I'm angry and I'm pissed off. Those are words that men are allowed to use. Charla, bring it back. Bring it back, Charla. Okay? This New York is done shit is pissing me off. I'll tell you why. Because no New Yorkers are saying New York is done.

It's yuppies that are saying New York is done. And it's people who moved to New York that are saying New York is done. It's yuppies that are saying New York is done. And it's people who moved to New York that are saying New York is done. And they're trying to justify the fact that they abandoned this city that they were using to get rich in. Okay. No New Yorkers are saying New York is done. And no New Yorkers are leaving New York because we can't. This is where the fuck we live. And it pisses me off that there are these like super rich dudes that have the ability to just fly and go to Miami.

The ability to go to the Hamptons. Jerry Seinfeld included. I know he wrote a cool piece where he was roasting and getting a James Altucher. But fuck Jerry. Jerry is not even a New Yorker. Can't you just give a man some flowers? Can't you just let the man defend New York? He's on your side.

Nope. He's not on my side. He is. He's like, I'll never abandon New York. Where are you writing this article from? The Hamptons.

Shut up. You abandoned New York the second it got a little sketchy. You left, took your family to the Hamptons. Okay?

And also, you're from the Upper West Side. You're not even from the Upper West Side. You're from Long Island, but you spent your whole life in the Upper West Side. That's Connecticut. It's not New York. You're from Long Island, but you spent your whole life in the Upper West Side. That's Connecticut.

It's not New York. Nobody in New York would call you. That's Connecticut. Come on. That's Connecticut, bro. I'm sorry. It's Connecticut. You think New Yorkers are like, listen, the real New York is on 72nd and Broadway.

If you're Jewish, it is. Exactly. Watch when you get that nice Central Park view. You'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm in New York. This is the real New York. I grew up on Central Park. That's what I'm saying. Nah.

Listen, I'm born on the Upper East Side, moved to the Upper West Side, but I spent my life in the East Village. Okay? Okay. What I'm saying is...

So you haven't spent your whole life in New York? I haven't spent my whole life in New York. Jerry a New Yorker. No, Jerry spent his whole life in Long Island. Wait, he spent

the majority of his life... He came to New York for the opportunity to have a career right and I can't say and then created the best sitcom of all time

say again and then created the best sitcom of all time anyway fantastic yo anyway so so anyway

so I understand anyway so you guys can defend it it's just so I don't know Jerry just annoys me wipe your butt

say a curse word you see what wipe your butt say a curse word you do you know what i mean just say a curse word you're a fucking 70 year old man say shit wipe some shit off your ass grow up you talk like a child he's locked into eight years old you can't cuss in a new york times article because they gotta edit it it's if uh some shit you know i'm pretty sure you can't do it. Man, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. Point is this. I'm tired of yuppies

saying New York is done. New York might be done for you guys, but New York is not made by yuppies. Okay? New York is not made by motherfuckers from Maine that moved to New York or Vermont or Tennessee.

Okay? New York is made by New Yorkers. We make it hot. You come here because we make it hot. And when you move away because you can't handle the heat, that don't make it done. New people are going to come in. This is skin that is being shed.

This is what a lot of people don't realize about New York. All these motherfuckers that moved to New York, see New York change a little bit, and then they go, oh, New York is different now. That's what New York does. When I grew up in the East Village, you live with me in the East Village. now that's what new york does when i grew up in the east village you live with me in the east village before you live with me the east village was sex shops and drug dealers by the time you live with me it changed to japanese restaurants and boba tea maybe some frozen yogurt right in 10 years it's going to be some other shit that's what new york does it's always changing i remember you saying this when we first started hanging out that like you think

you know what new york is but it's this constantly evolving thing and you'd only be able to get that if you're from here yeah especially manhattan manhattan has so much turnover right like i understand there's certain like parts of the city like that's another thing that pissed me off about jerry jerry doesn't realize new york has boroughs. He's only talking about Manhattan, as if the people outside of Manhattan don't exist to him because they don't. He does not consider that New York, just like I don't consider the Upper West Side New York.

Also, until you got a studio in Brooklyn, I didn't really hear you saying too many good things about the other boroughs. What do you mean? You are a Manhattan guy through and through. Yeah, just like Brooklyn people are like, Brooklyn. Exactly. You rep your home team. That's what you do. People in Queens you're a Manhattan guy through and through yeah just like Brooklyn people are like Brooklyn exactly you rep your home team that's what you do

people in Queens rep it that's what Jerry's doing he's repping his fucking team he's Manhattan where's Jerry from who knows Long Island shut up

okay so he's repping whatever team that he thinks he's in and what I'm saying is your team is not reflective of New York it's the least culturally diverse place in all

of New York City and the whole thing about New York is how culturally diverse it is so I don't even consider like, oh, how am I not going to get my city back? The city is much bigger than that.

And also, if you're from Brooklyn, you should rep Brooklyn. If you're from the Bronx, you should rep the Bronx. I'm not saying Jesus and Meryl got to rep Manhattan.

I don't know where Meryl lives. Meryl might live in Jersey by now. By now, but yeah. Yeah, but you still rep BX. Right? Imagine Meryl's out there going, nah,

Jersey's not dead. You'd be like, shut up. You're from the Bronx. Like, what are you doing? So the point is, all these people that are making these, like, crazy claims, Al Tucher, too, making these crazy claims. Now, I know he's an alarmist. He likes to, like, do clickbaity type shit.

And he did it. He got it. He got everybody talking about it. But everything, he actually, he has, like, serious facts in his article. Both of them full of shit. Everything in Al Tucher's article is full of of shit we'll go through piece by piece I read it again last night and I was like this guy's really full of shit go what bring up any of the things he said no the thing I thought was full of shit was he had an excerpt from somebody who lived in New York 10 years and was like it's not the same I'm a lifelong New Yorker I've been here 12 years

I will not say I'm a lifelong New Yorker I don't know what the years is But I gotta be here 30, 35 Over half my life When I'm a New Yorker This is how you know You're a New Yorker It used to be If you're here 10 years You're a New Yorker

Nah bullshit This is how you know You're a New Yorker When shit gets a little sketchy And you don't move out That's how you know You're a New Yorker If you move out

The second shit gets sketchy You're not a New Yorker Your blood is not here Your heart is not here We're here through and through I was saying this Yesterday to Alex But it's like

People are like Oh it's about to be dangerous in new york if you spent your whole life in new york you get robbed you didn't learn nothing okay if you spent your whole life in new york and you get robbed you either got set up by your doorman okay set up by someone at you and that happens don't act like it don't happen you got set up by your doorman your first example is your door hell yeah the doorman don't live in the neighborhood the doorman will get you better tip that motherfucker for christmas you got set up by your doorman or you got set up by somebody at your work you're not just getting robbed regular like you have some spider senses for if you're about to get robbed or if you're about to get fucked up people say this all the time oh they cross the street when they saw this group walking

yeah sometimes you got hey keep it a buck that's fact sometimes you crossed the street when they saw this group walking. Yeah, sometimes you got to. Hey. Keep it a buck. That's facts. Sometimes you cross the street. That's facts. If you're on a train late night, there's only one other person out there, you get off. Bye.

Get off, go to the next car. You see somebody moving in between the cars on the subway? You ever see that shit happen? That happened for two reasons. There's a homeless person that smells like shit you didn't realize until you got in a car. OK? Or you see some shady things that might be going on and you realize i gotta go to a car with a little bit more traffic in there in case it gets real well crossing the

street really helped though if you're walking down the street there's four dudes walking towards you you're alone on the street like it makes it certain they're coming for you what what race because there's a thing the crossing the street is wild disrespectful right but this is what it does if you're walking down the same street you're just walking into the person that's gonna rob you yeah you're gonna work for this do you know what i mean like i remember once i had this little electric scooter way back in the day right it was called zappy and i'm scooting right there's dudes at the end of the block right right now everybody got electric school but these dudes at the end of the block they're like yo that shit is fire. I love that electric scooter. That shit is fire.

I was like, it is, ain't it? Excuse me. So these dudes, luckily, I literally live right across the street. These dudes literally, as I got in the building, I had to type a key code to get in. It was a key code. I had to type a key code to get in the building. I closed the door. They're knocking.

Yo, let us ride it. Let us try it. I'm like, man, come on, bro. If you don't get the fuck out of here. So you learn these things. We're equipped for this. We're built for this. My dumb ass, I think I was like 13.

I had one of those motor scooters. And I was on the block. Everybody was on the block. It was like, oh, that shit's fine. That's fine. So I'm letting motherfuckers get rides right after. They would just go up and down the block. No.

One dude just hit a left and kept it. You ever saw that scooter again? I did. But we caught him like two miles away. Oh, you got it back? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We hopped in a car and went after him. Okay, I respect that because this is how fucking audacious New York is. When you steal something from someone in New York, you're going to see them again.

It's small. Yeah. That's the thing about New York. This is the most brave robbers you've ever seen in your life. I remember when I was a kid, Upper West Side where Jerry lived. Right? Harsh New York. Harsh New York, Upper West Side, where Jerry lived. Right? Harsh New York. Harsh New York,

Upper West Side. We're at this park, right? My dad going to play basketball at this park, right? I wanted to go get a drink or something like that. So my dad was like, you guys want to keep playing

with the basketball? Right? To the kids in the park, right? My dad does the right thing. It's the only basketball so they can play with it. We left. We come back.

Them kids ain't fucking there. Ain't nobody playing basketball. Son, Upper West Side is rough, huh? Shit is real in the Upper West. It might be real. Jerry's good. Jerry abandoned that shit. It might be too thugged out for him.

So next day, we come back, right? Brand new basketball. We go. We see the same kids that are playing with a basketball that just got writing all over it. So I go, yo, I think that's my basketball, but're writing all over it and they're like no it's totally different than yours i don't know what yours look like but it wasn't like this this writing all over it these motherfuckers just graffitied my ball and act like it was that's why you hate graffiti it all comes from childhood trauma charlamagne is right yo you know what

charla you right man i'm a little emotional right now. All I'm trying to say is, it's like, look, you are going to learn. I've been so bad because I've done that to someone. Yes. Wait, what? No, no, no, no, no, no. I've been the person who takes the ball right on it. You took a ball to the great one?

This is what people don't realize, like, why you learn these certain skill sets. Oh, I'm a piece of shit. Bro, in New York, I took my boy. Did you steal his ball? What's going on? Let me tell you, this is some real shit. I took my boy. He's from skill sets. I'm a piece of shit. Bro, in New York, I took my boy. Did you steal his ball? What's going on? Let me tell you, this is some real shit. I took my boy. He's from Brooklyn, right?

He's hanging out with me, okay? In my neighborhood, okay? There's a deli a block away from my apartment on Astor Place. There's a deli on like 9th Street and 4th Avenue. I know that. You know the deli, right? Bullies. Yeah, different one, different one.

But it's on 4th, not Broadway. So we go into this deli this is my boy in my neighborhood but he's not from my neighborhood so he thinks he's in a foreign land okay okay we're in the deli i see this guy started looking around and shit in the deli i'm like uh what's going on you know like you know your dog's about to shit but you see him looking at shit before he shits right he starts looking around I go what's going on now hey

what you doing he looks at me kind of smiles he takes the whole Snickers box and runs out to deli and he goes Schultz let's go

I go I know this guy I gotta chase after my friend for the Snickers for the guy I go get bacon and get, and cheese every day from. That's hilarious.

But that's. Oh, my God. Am I wrong? Once you're out of your little borough. Done. We would go out of, like, I grew up in Queens. We would go out of Queens and then, like, usually to the city. It's fair game.

I was part of the people who made Times Square not a good place to go. Dangerous. But you learn about this shit. So you learn these fucking skills So we're not worried about that Can you explain Why one person on the train Is a bad idea

I still don't get Why you should move There's no cameras There's no nothing And it's a long time Between stops I'll be honest Two people on the train

Is worse Like two people And you is worse Do they know each other Yeah If two people Know each other And it's you

Yeah if it's a group And just me I'm out I if it's a group and just me i'm out yeah i feel like some of this is just you have to also even if new york is safe now coming from maybe just a bubble of dallas we grew up with what their texas what new york was so i've always kind of had a heightened like sense of yeah i remember i was walking late at night by the projects in williamsburg like as was gentrified but these kids crossed the fucking street and then started walking behind me and then i just pulled out my phone and pretended like i was making a call or some shit just to seem like whatever and in my mind i'm like i

fucking hope this works because if they realize they can rob me very easily it's done but that was enough to make them turn around but it's like you just gotta have your your fucking radar up any big city i think yeah especially this city why what do you what are you i'm just not good at this son don't trust people somebody one time remember when we were in i think chicago oh yeah son dude comes up to mark he's like yo what time is it he got a half of a biscuit hanging off his fucking face yeah biscuit crumbs all over his beard homeless motherfucker homeless fuck asking mark what time it is like he got somewhere to be this crazy motherfucker don't even got a napkin he don't got a job

he need another mad close to Mark right up on his shoulder and it's like it was almost he was just waiting for Mark but this is instinctual somebody try that to me

but this is instinctual right Mark's dumbass that didn't grow up with this shit you could say caring and thoughtful ass you could

I wouldn't describe it in that way mark's dumb ass goes and he's like indulging his dude that's about to take advantage of him in some way shape or form we don't know exactly how but how after the whole interaction i go to al i go yo did you think it was oh yeah yeah yeah it was about to go down immediately but that spider sent shit okay can we acknowledge what you guys did what we do you thought i was gonna die right no you thought i was to get stabbed or lose my phone? You thought I was about to go down.

It was possible. And what did you guys do? And what did both of you guys do? I was close enough to get your phone back in case you started running. No, you did not. Both of you guys turned and walked away and tried to go buy a fucking Popeye's chicken sandwich. Yo, it was the height of Popeye's, B. Popeye's chicken sandwich.

No, no, no. You guys left me. No, no. We had looked through like multiple different Popeye's. It was sold out everywhere. Probably from that motherfucker who got the biscuit all over his face. Chicken sandwich. No, no, no. You guys are lovely. No, no. We had looked through multiple different Popeye's locations. It was sold out everywhere. Probably from that motherfucker who got the biscuit all over his face.

He had the only goddamn chicken sandwich. You don't know what's going to happen. We did went to three different places. And Mark's at a mad races. He's trying to establish

rapport with the black dude. Mark's like this white country boy. He's like, do you know where the Popeye's chicken sandwich place is? Mark just asking random black people where Popeye's are at. I'm the Anthony Bourdain of homeless black dudes.

Okay. I got this. I can communicate. I'm being serious. I don't know how to deal with like actually navigating that kind of. And yo, you're going to learn the hard way. And I mean that that's the only way you learn it. That's what,

that's what I'm saying. I think somebody had a joke back in the day about this. I forget exactly who it is. It like like in new york if you see a new yorker like do something prejudice you gotta like a new yorker new yorker yeah do something prejudice don't jump to assumptions yet do you know what i'm saying like like you gotta match his prejudice and you gotta just fucking copy that yo Oh, no, I'm saying like, if you see like the Indian dude like follow the kids around a store, don't be like,

oh, he's so racist, whatever, be like, nah, he might've seen those kids steal some shit. There's a, I'm telling you. This shit happened to my girl where she was walking down the street.

This is like the height of the Black Lives Matter protest in New York. Yeah. We like, we're walking around, she's walking alone and she'd never been catcalled before. Yeah, yeah. yeah we grew up in fucking orlando like it never happened there's

like highways yeah she's never been cat called so some guy was like hey yo where you going and it's like some black dude sitting on the stoop and she walks past him and is like oh shit is he like a volunteer i swear to god this is what she told me the most naive cute shit ever she goes oh maybe he's got like a pamphlet or like a flyer i don't want to seem racist marching in the wrong way yeah she was like so concerned like she had like a little bit of white guilt like oh fuck like i can't just like ignore this guy she was dipping out the march early that's what it was she turned around and went and talked to him no and the guy was like yo can i get your number like you want to hang out like we can like just chill and she was like oh oh never mind and then walked the other way just back to where we

were like and she was like yeah i don't want to walk home we're in williamsburg about being white is you're always afraid to look racist i was in fight i had some black kid asked me for directions i started giving him he's like can you check on your phone? And I was like, don't have one. That's what that is. It's just us two here. I am very robbable. I don't have a phone. When we were in middle school, actually, Al, you were probably in elementary school at that point in time.

But like there was a thing going around. This is, you're young. But this is why it gets ingrained. When someone asks you what time it is, it was you got the time. You look down, you're watching, then they slice your face open with a box cutter. What? See, I didn't know that. That's wild.

But we had, that's when I hear people like, New York is dangerous now. And I'm like, you fucking pussies. Like, we had our principal tell a bunch of 12-year-olds, don't give people the time. Yeah.

And I know a lot of you like, listening right now like, well, don't they have a phone? This is before everybody just had a smartphone. Like, you were using a watch to tell the time do you remember the buck 50 yeah but that story got way bigger than what it was it was like one area of brooklyn where it was like a gang initiation around halloween it happened to like three people and then it was like oh my god all around the city people are getting and three people's more than it should happen to but i'm

just saying all i'm saying is like that's the type of shit that like your principal is telling the people in school I never had to be prepared for that I got told in school too yeah that's crazy if you grow up

don't wear red on Halloween yeah you couldn't wear son the idea of not giving someone the time this is how safe the suburbs in the south are not giving someone the time is unthinkable

how unfriendly are you that's absurd like you're a monster my high school we had an assembly because a kid put a goldfish in the urinal and people just pissing on the goldfish yeah and that was the extent of our that's absurd you're a monster my high school we had an assembly because a kid put a goldfish in the urinal and people just pissing on the goldfish yeah and that was the extent of that's how you get that shit golden though that was the extent of what our like high school

troubles were that's what our principal warned us about bro we would have kids bring guns to school like it's just a weird i remember this kid once brought a gun but he didn't bring the whole part of it like he was missing like the top part that goes like click click like he just had the handle of the gun he's like in his backpack i don't know what he wanted to do and i was like where do you get that part like he just brought it in for show and tell bro it was weird one of the schools i went to had metal detective did you guys have lockdowns or like code reds or any of that shit no no that's your generation my school had a policy where if there was like a crime like a breaking crime or like a criminal on the loose within like five or ten miles of the school they

locked the whole school down really so there would be like a bank robbery that happened across town yeah and our school had to lock all the doors everyone had to like get under the desks because of a bank robbery yeah i can understand that kidnapping napping shit but like that's much more like suburbs but like criminal on the, like within 10 miles or some shit. No, I never had that. No, that's crazy. But I'm realizing in New York, if you had a fucking lockdown

every time a criminal was within three miles of the school, it'd be always locked down. There's always crime happening. A little too much activity. So here's what I think it is. I think New York has- Watch how you talk about New York, son. Watch your mouth, son.

I mean, we can disrespect you. New York isn't dead. The New York boom might be dead temporarily yeah so look if 20 years who knows that's what that's what bothered me about the article right it's like he acted like since new york is isn't constantly inflating its own economy and pricing the people who live here out that is dead and it's like that's not how it works everything is an ebb and flow right and the way i look at this like honestly well it's like a blessing in a lot of ways right because like we have some old that it's like a snake that's what new york is is a fucking snake

okay and it's shedding its skin and the old gotta go there's no reason why jerry should be living in new york there's no reason why james should be living in new york you guys are built for the suburbs that's what's for you right new york is is for the young. It's for the hungry. It's for the hustlers. I'm telling you, I'm saying this right now, and I guarantee there are people in New York that are thinking the exact same thing. New Yorkers, don't get me wrong, there is economic insecurity, but this is a hustle city. There are people here already finding ways to make money. People had printed obama is the new president t-shirt before they he won they were waiting on time square ready to sell those

fucking shirts like this is the hustle city so people are gonna find a way to get money in new york yeah they're gonna find a way to take advantage of it and like i'm looking through that that article he said because i wrote a couple things down, he was like, the Time Life building is empty. What did he say? The Rockefeller Center is empty. Like, good. Who cares? Like, nobody's going to Rockefeller Center.

Like, there's so many more interesting places to go check out in New York City besides Rockefeller Center or the fucking Time Life building. Dude, I think the point to this is that, like york had so much like deep culture and it had like authentic new york like people living here and it was these kinds of people that moved in and killed new york in the first yes if any if new york was dying it was from these yuppies moving in yes he is those kinds of people but he's a new yorker who altitude oh yeah no he is a new yorker and i give him that but at the same time, he is also representing those hedge fund douchebags and all that kind of stuff. Here's what people don't realize. When you talk about the New York real estate market, we talk about this all the time.

You have perspective because you come from a place where you can buy a home for $175,000. A home. A decent home. Yeah. $175,000 back at least in the 2000s. Decent home. You could get a decent home, right? So New York's real estate market, they're like, oh, it's going down 20%. It's going down 30%. It's so inflated by people

who aren't even living here, right? New York real estate, especially Manhattan real estate, was the most safe investment in the world. So what do people with money in countries that suck do? Take their money. They hide it in a building in New York, right? They buy some fucking apartments. You look at these apartment buildings. There's an apartment building right next next to it that big glass one where we were growing up or when we were living together no near there right half vacant it was just chinese people bought the apartments never moved in oh yeah so what happens when people buy apartments they don't even rent them now there's scarcity of apartments yeah those other apartments that are left cost way more right now us new yorkers are being penalized because motherfuckers are hiding their money here.

So now if it isn't as safe a bet to invest in New York, good. Why should we be penalized for making our city dope? Like we make it cool. The artists, the entrepreneurs, the creators come in here, make it fire. The chefs, the people that open a small, cool little restaurant, make a neighborhood hip. We make it fire. These yuppies come in because they want to take advantage of it they ruin whatever neighborhood they come into so we make another neighborhood cool right that's why we're in this neighborhood

right now because the cool kids are continuing to move further out because that's the only shit they could afford right right new york's not dead because people are leaving it's dead because people are coming yeah these fucking nerds come in right and then when it's not comfy for these nerds to do their nerd shit no more or to take more money out of the city right yeah they say it's dead the audacity for you to not be able to profit as much as you used to profit in the city yeah off of what we create now you say it's dead because you can't suck any more wealth out of it fuck you yeah

this shit been live it's a beautiful time man I love it you're gonna have the rich move out and you're gonna have the transplants also that can't take it

in New York move out bye now New Yorkers will actually be able to take advantage of New York and you know what else is kind of nice

for the first time I'm looking to move back in if I can again my girl suburb girl I am too but she's more scared of it but the nice buildings that these yuppies all got. Rent's going down. Yeah. Now for a decent amount of rent,

you can have a nice building in New York. And I know some of y'all think about, but what about the landlords that own these places? That's me. I'm getting abused by this. And you know what? I'm okay with it. I'm okay. That's fine. This is the ebb and flow, the natural ebb and flow of the market. And if real estate prices need to come down, that's what the fuck needs to happen. If it's up to me, I'd rather New York with tons of young, cool, creative, hungry motherfuckers, not some dude sitting on billions of dollars just collecting interest and taking up all the reservations at the cool restaurants. You fucking the city up for us. So when you say New York is dead,

that shit is insulting because it implies that New York is alive because of implants or transplants. It's never been that. Y'all have taken advantage of what we created. So if you want to beat it,

fine, beat it. Bye. See ya. Let me try to poke holes. Please, go. New York is created by New Yorkers. I'm not a New Yorker. I won't take that from y'all.

But the transplants do kind of provide like fresh blood. And having Wall Street and all these rich people does make it more lucrative to have the best restaurant in New York City. Because you know if you got the best restaurant in New York, it's a fucking thing. Because there's so many rich people who pay so much money, etc. I think it all trickles down in that way. New Yorkers don't go to the best restaurants in New York. We go to Ben's Pizza. Then we go to the cool restaurants,

the top and the hip ones. Boom. We go to some random shit that's in a fucking food truck in an alley somewhere. We go to get the best, we go to Wohop and spend $40, you and your girl, on a meal. We've been going to the same place we always go to.

Then the yuppies find out about it. Now we got to wait an hour. We got to put a reservation in this. We can't even go because it's too busy. So we find a new spot. But we're not going to Cipriani. We're not parking a fucking silver Lambo in front of Cipriani. Matter of fact, if we went to Cipriani, it'd look corny.

Like if I'm walking by and you see me at Cipriani, you'd be like, oh, you changed. I would get criticized by my friends for going to that place. That place is built for yuppies to feel comfortable in a place they're not comfortable in. Okay. That's fair. That makes sense. But let me ask you just the new money. If you lose that, without rich people moving in, the New York economy, it's floated by that, isn't it?

I don't know. It's inflated by it. I don't know if it's floated by it. I can see real estate being inflated, but outside of real estate, it's just a lot of money flowing in. I think it's, I'll be honest with you, I think it's hurt by it. Go ahead. Because I think what really floats the New Yorker comedy, not inflates it, but what just makes it float is young consumers, okay?

If you have the 1% that has all the money, the 1% can only eat three meals a day, fam. Right? You can only go to Cipriani once a day right you can only go and eat in these fancy restaurants once a day i'd rather have the 99 percent right living in the city that are consuming three meals a day that's way more consumption you're moving out all the people that can afford shit and can pay for more things that actually buy stuff you gotta take the subway just to go shop at acne or acne whatever that fucking store is. You know what I mean? Like, I'd rather tons of middle class people, lower class people, upper middle class people that can consume all the time instead of a handful of rich people that can eat one restaurant. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second. I got to tell y'all something.

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right now, make sure your man delivers the dick that you need. Okay. For free. All you got to do is pay $5 shipping. Bluetooth.com, use the promo code flagrant. That's a done deal. Let's get back to the show. All right, what's next guys? Obviously, look, we know there's a lot of shit going on and sometimes there's stuff going on like this Megastallion thing. It has all the elements of something that you would want to care about. of something that you would want to care about and i'm right like and this is the problem with it right it's like everything about it i should care about it right it's rappers it's beef it's someone got shot someone is five three so the guy is short the girl is huge. Yeah. Right? You can't really call a girl huge. Tall.

You can call her tits huge. Okay, yeah. Right? Like you, you got huge tits and that's whatever. She got some high ass tits. High? Yeah, tall. High ass tits.

Tall tits. Tall tits. Huge presence. Even that. Even that. Huge presence sounds like a dig. Yeah, huge presence. Yeah.

Oh, I thought you were saying like their presence. Like they're like like birthday presents like the lingerie i bought for you fucking sale you fat parachute so so the uh so the the the thing with this story is we've been trying to give a fuck about it for some reason i don't give a fuck about it. For some reason, I don't give a fuck about it. And I blame Torrey's height. I mean this sincerely. I think there's something about how small he is, which makes me feel like even him shooting isn't as bad.

Does that make sense? He's defenseless. Yeah. And like, I don't know. know like i just don't feel like he could aim that good i think is also the feet is just such a weird yosemite sam ass way ain't he black yosemite sam ain't tory lanes you think you think before he shot maggie he shot straight down on the ground and lifted up in his nikes, you doggone idiot. And then he just started shooting at the fucking feet. Oh, I was thinking Elmer Fudd.

No, I'm kidding. No, Yosemite Sam, the little cowboy with the mustache and shit. Yeah, dude. I was thinking Elmer Fudd. I was thinking Elmer Fudd, too. Yeah. That's all, folks. No, that's the pig.

Can you pull up a picture of Yosemite Sam? This is if Tory Lanez was a cowboy. That's Elmer Fudd.. Is that all? That's the pig. Can you pull up a picture of Yosemite Sims? Porky pig. This is if Tory Lanez was a cowboy. Man, who's the one who tries to shoot bugs, buddy? That's Elmer Fudd. What's that one? That's Woody Woodpecker. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Da-da-da-da-da-da. Right? What'd he do? He was shooting black bitches? Woody Woodpecker? Yo, Tory came out here shooting these black women yo do you think okay do you think you would care more if tori shot another rapper that was a man bro if he shot like lil wayne or some shit that's he should fight lil wayne that's a fair fight dude it's like midget wrestling could tori

beat both of them up at the same time you mean could meg could? Could Meg beat both Tori and Lil Wayne at the same time? Well, no. If Lil Wayne and Tori got on each other's shoulders, then I think they could take her. If they had to combine into one rapper. Yeah, with like a big jacket or something? That would be fire. If they were the Transformers? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She Megatron out here, yo. She has to be fucking with. I don't know why I'm not taking it as serious. Like if a rapper of normal height shot even at her feet, I think I would be, like, super offended by it. But there's something about how tiny he is, which makes it seem insignificant. Like, I feel like maybe he was coming at her,

and then, like, she just grabbed his head and, like, kept him there, you know what I'm saying? Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that was it. I don't know exactly what it is. Why don't I care about this story? A man shot a woman.

That should be enough. Mm-hmm. Right? I think. Right? Why is this not serious to me? Nah, it's serious. But it's not.

It's not. Right? Nah, he should be deported and all that, but I don't know. You're right. It's not. Right? Nah, he should be deported and all that, but I don't know. You're right. Emotionally. There's something. What are you going to do with him?

Put him in a little birdcage? You can't put him in jail. You got to put him in one of those little circle things and then she gets to carry that shit around all day. Do I think what, Mark? Do you think that his career is done? This is the weirdest thing. Usually, if you're a rapper, you're involved in a shooting.

It elevates your career. Right. But this could be the first shooting that actually hurts a rapper's career. And Tory could use all the elevation he could get. He could. Because he's short. Yeah. 5'3".

Do you think he's done forever? Is his career over? Yeah, he's short. 5'3". Do you think he's done forever? Is his career over? Yeah, he's done forever. I don't know. Something happened, bro. We thought Chris Brown was done forever, and we saw the pictures. That's what made it hit home more was the pictures of a woman's face with Chris Brown. He wasn't done.

Tori, he's not as good as Chris Brown. That's a good point. Yo, who did something worse? I thought Chris Brown was done. So is shooting the ground near a girl's foot worse than punching a girl in the face? I wanted to know that. Whose action was worse, Tori's or Chris Brown? I don't know.

Neither is okay. If Tori was like, I literally was not trying to shoot her at all, like clearly I shot at the ground, okay okay because the front of the gun is mad heavy hey do you think when he shot he launched back like a cartoon he actually made a very good case for gun control gun control because you know i say your kids could get a hold of the gun that's what happened the baby got the hold of the gun yo that's true 100 bro nah dude this is there's something wrong with this there's something wrong with this here but and i and i almost it kind of sucks that chris brown keeps getting brought in here because we're

looking for something to equate it to yeah we're trying to make sense of it yeah and for whatever reason i think shooting a girl's feet near a girl's feet isn't as bad as punching a girl in the face repeatedly well he intended to shoot her feet, though. I think that's what it was. They were having a dispute in the car, and she was like, oh, I'm going to go walk back to where I'm staying.

And he was like, nah, you're not walking anywhere. And then shot her feet. Oh, that's some Mafia Don shit. That's wild. That's the story I read. That's some Joe Pesci shit. Again, there's nothing

to this story. This is the third time we've tried to talk about this story. How about this? Yo, yo, how about this? Yo, Meg, Tori, stop being so boring, yo. Stop being so boring. Like, how do you have the juiciest story ever, and it's mind-numbingly boring to talk about?

Canadian rappers, bro. It's a Canadian rapper, bro. Yeah. Stop it with this rah-rah thug shit. Get emotional. That's the theme of this podcast. Get emotional. And Meg the Stallions.

Stop dating short guys you need how is meg the stallion not with a fucking tall human being waka flaka is tall enough luca donchich oh yeah give her that luca donchich need to need to save meg the stallion that would be so ill that would be that's yo yeah mantras Harrell need to shut his mouth forever, bro. Do you know what I mean? Because he looks like a breed of, he looks like an actual stallion. And if Luka takes the one appropriately named person for Montrezl away from him, bro. Took his prize pony, yo.

Took his prize pony. Dog. Took his prize pony. Dog, I'm telling you. I think Tory had the fastest fall off of anyone I've ever seen in my life. I don't think he's done. I didn't even know he climbed, yo. 2020, he had the highest climb and decline. Bro, quarantine radio was huge. He was in a hot tub with Kylie Jenner

and Meg Thee Stallion. And now he's like the biggest bum of the rap world and might never make music again but he's fire at making music he got to put out a song though and there's a time he got independent son he got independent at the height of his career and then fucked up the whole shit that's why there could be a little conspiracy theory going on here there could be it really could be but seriously it's mind-boggling how this is boring and it's got to talk about the snitching angle people are saying she snitched and she shouldn't have and then all these people like

yo gangsters shut up i'm tired of y'all with your fucking rules about snitching yo we're fucking but what's the rule yo can't y'all get a constitution like america you nerds well technically if you're not if you're a civilian then you're allowed to snitch and she's not part of shut up shut up that shit didn't apply

when you were killing motherfuckers that were civilians that were snitching on you right the second a civilian is snitching on you for killing somebody

in the neighborhood all of a sudden they get killed right you're not like well they're a civilian that's what they're supposed to do is go to the cops

true or false Al ooh that's true true or false Al that's a true statement it's valid i like some consistency from my gangsters i would like that tired of this shit every gangster feel like they gotta talk about it the code is a civilian is allowed to snitch but then they kill all the motherfucking civilians i mean i don't see that happening i'm sure it's just like word of mouth type of thing. Isn't that like more of a mob type of situation? You don't think that happens on the streets?

No, I think like the mob does that, but I don't see too much like in the hood. But then again, I'm not in the hood, so I don't know what the fuck's going on. I don't know. All I'm saying is all these motherfucking gangsters were like, 6ix9ine, not a real gangster. 6ix9ine, not a real gangster. And then he did some not a real gangster shit. And they're like, oh, no, he's a rat. He's a snitch. So he did some not a real gangster shit and they're like oh now he's a rat he's a snitch

so you said he wasn't real and then he did the shit that not real gangsters do so why you mad and now you defending Magna Stallions yo y'all are boring

not y'all Magna Stallion and Tory Lanez bro y'all got a damn near duel you had a fucking duel You had a shootout Yeah They went full Hamilton On it

They went full Hamilton Only one of them Had guns though That's what happened With Hamilton right I'm not talking about Tory I'm talking about Meg's biceps Y'all

She packing heat I really feel bad That Meg hasn't been able To spin this shit Lucy all this dead air Yeah God damn bro she was more interested

in talking about her wet ass pussy real talk I mean there's something there's something no no no this is unbelievable this is unbelievable

we have an actual shooting what is happening in America there is a shooting that is involving famous people and we can barely fill five minutes of conversation about it

without everybody in the room just going we're fucking bored yeah guys nothing to say yeah I may deport him sure but like 6ix9ine is the GOAT 6ix9ine is more entertaining getting on his private jet

from his fucking room than Tory Lanez and Meg Thee Stallion in a fucking shootout from getting on his private jet from his fucking room then tory lane's and meg the stallion in a fucking shootout six nine is the fucking goat think about it bro yeah he's locked in his fucking house locked in his house three music videos meg stallion hasn't even written a diss song about the guy that shot her get to to work. Put down the carrot. For real. It's basically, it's literally, I don't know what to say.

I cannot believe it. There's a certain point in time where you got to deliver. She did that one Instagram live. Yeah. Right? Yeah. No album release, no song. I think some of her friends had some verses for Tori. Right?

Tokyo Jets or whatever like that. Do you know who that is? The rest of the city girls? Oh, yeah, yeah. There's more than one? Say what? I didn't know there was more than one. The city girls.

It's plural in the name. It's plural, son. I thought you were just talking about her squad or whatever, like the Nicki fans. Boys to Men was more than one guy? What the fuck? That's crazy.

I know there's more than one rapper, son. She got a whole stable out there. See how boring it is? Motherfuckers don't even look that shit up bro something's off i need little duval on the case little duval needs to help that girl out bro you got to turn this into something good i think she's done with short dudes for a while you did i think you're gonna she don't even want to hear about short tits anyway luca take that down bro both you got bummed ankles y'all could just heal up together use this probably same size sneaker use the same fucking ankle brace for both of y'all for real

and be more interesting tori say something tori ain't saying nothing he ain't saying shit or he's an idiot bro he shot this chick for no reason what a fucking dummy yo that's what i'm saying what a fucking dumbass yo this is the problem short dudes, is that this one girl tries to walk away from him, and he's like, nah, I'm going to shoot you. That was his solution. Al, as a Puerto Rican, you've probably experienced those emotions. Is that a normal thing?

No, I've never experienced those emotions. No, no, he's the one walking away. No, that usually happens in his life. That being said, Latinos are very, very rambunctious when it comes to rejection. Have you ever been rejected? I have. And were you rambunctious when it comes to rejection have you ever been rejected I have and were you rambunctious not to the point of shooting a woman but did you get did you get Puerto Rican on it did you make it a whole fucking outside debacle Puerto Ricans take the breakup

outside yes I might have rice and beans did you take the breakup to the streets because that's how the Latins do it no Latins be taking the break up to the middle of the street walk out on the wife beater oh yeah you're my cinnamon apple that's a good point no that dude was black right he must have some dominican in yo that's another new york tip i don't know what do you do in that situation because this happened like the fourth or fifth time to me what the outside breakup where i see outside break up and the girl's like help someone help me hey you the gay guy with the bun can you call someone oh that's a tough situation what what he's supposed to do you gotta help her but just you might get fucked up it's just casualty listen you never interrupt the breakup what do you do i saw what's the worst could happen girl get shot

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that's what we're going to do RadixRemedies.com use that promo code flagrant for 10% off now let's get back to the show I'm being serious what do you do I was walking down the street

this girl was like help he stole my phone And the guy's like No she downloaded him She's cheating on me Oh yeah And now you're just No no no

If you think it's physical danger You gotta do something What you gonna do With a guy who's willing To hit a woman in public Somebody just call the cops That's what I say That's the line

Somebody just call the cops I say someone call the cops And then the dude Is usually like Alright thanks fam And then you kind of like Befriend the fucking abuser Wait

The fucking abuser To save the girl You saving the girl Wait so what do you do You gotta manipulate him You just say someone Call the cops You say yo

Someone just called the cops Man y'all should chill out They're coming all the way You don't know it's you You say someone Yeah Yo some pussy Just called the cops

How would you know that Sorry bro I know you just finna Beat her up or whatever. I did that to a girl and a guy. They were arguing on the street. And the annoying thing about the street arguments, this annoying thing about the street arguments,

they're back together the next day every single fucking time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every single street argument I've ever seen in my neighborhood. Yeah. Big old fucking calamity. Next day, walking down the street, Mr. Softy. Together. Mark, get in between the guy and the girl.

Don't get in between a man willing to hit a woman on the street, Mark. If he's going to hit a woman, he'll kill me. Yeah, but just be like, yo, it ain't worth it. And then bring up the cops, though. Can I tell you? To be honest, Al, you're going to get him killed. Let me tell you why.

That man wants to hit that woman. He'll die a hero. Key of the city type shit. You want to go out like that. You're not even king of the city. We never remember that guy. You get the key. No, you don't.

You get the key. If you die protecting a woman, you get the key to the city. What? You can't get in. What the fuck is the key going to do? You can't unlock it where you want. You get the battery tunnel? Early access?

What the fuck is the key going to do, bro? What's that master key? You get it. tunnel? Early access? What the fuck is Key gonna do, bro? It's that master key. You get it. Master key to what? To Epstein's mansion? Right now, gyms are closed. You can go in any gym. All to yourself.

Let me tell you why you do not get in the middle. That man is so angry. He is about to hit a woman in public, but he knows the scrutiny that comes with that taboo that comes with that exactly he is looking but you know who could hit someone else to be the punching bag yes you so you have to befriend that man in it you have to you have to throw the first punch in order is that what you meant actually that might work nah that might work. Nah. That might work. I mean, punch him. I mean, punch him. Okay. I want to be clear.

I'm not going to just gang up on you. They're like, yo, what did she do? Get her. Nah, nah. That shit is, you got to be careful in those environments. Al, you're not stopping none of that shit. Yeah, I do. Stop it, bro.

Son, I do. I have. You not separating and i saw a dude like in shorty's face and i stepped in a yo chill out chill out it's not worth it chill out all that shit and then you bring up the police so he'll okay but here's the thing it's not worth it is a very important line that's something you gotta tell people we've all stepped in there's a difference between stepping in and going, how the fuck you gonna talk to a girl like that?

Oh, yeah. I'm not saying stepping on some aggressive you gonna fuck him up. Exactly. I did that to my neighbor, but I could tell

from his accent he was South Indian and I was like, I got that motherfucker. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. So wait, your neighbor was fighting with his girl?

I heard this yelling and it was like, I know it. You know what I mean? I know it too well. And I stopped for like a minute outside the hallway and then this guy walks by me and we both kind of stopped and i'm like yo do we need to do something he's like i don't know man and they just walked off and i was like all right and then i hear and then i was just like i gotta do something so i bang on the door then i hear scurrying footsteps to the bathroom

door closed locked he opens the door chest he even he mad little so i'm bold now i'm just like the fuck you doing your wife and he's like we taught him i said oh no what the fuck you doing your wife and then he said where do you live i said don't worry about where i live this and i said his apartment number i was like that's where the cops are coming and then he's like no no come inside i'm gonna get your fucking mind i'm not going inside the cops are gonna go inside don't worry about it and then he starts yelling at me i start yelling back and then at that it, it's done. I just know. That's how you handle that shit. Did you call the cops though?

I did. I snitched. I'm a snitch. I'd probably go in the apartment, bro. That's where I'd fuck you up. Yeah, this dumbass would walk in. I'd be like, yeah, I will investigate. Actually, that's a great idea.

Now that you mention it. And then you give him a reason to fuck you up because now you're inside his house. Yo, the cops said when they came to her apartment, they had like fled. Really? Yeah. See, they go together. And I see this guy

all the time. That should be pissing me off. I saw him that night with my girl and I'm like, ah, fuck now. You think he looked at you like, man, I heard that shit

from your fucking apartment. Why y'all acting like people don't yell? Yo, that's good. Why y'all acting like voices ain't getting read? That's good. Real talk,

that's why I waited for a minute because I was like, it could just be Indians fighting and we be yelling a lot. So that's why like voices ain't getting right that's good real talk that's why i waited for a minute because i was like it could just be indians fighting and we'd be yelling a lot that's why he asked what apartment yeah because he's like i've been heard that shit from 3q that's good couples counseling though neither of you guys are trying to call the cops on each other you know what i mean like both you guys are trying to mediate if i didn't hear that noise i wouldn't have done i'd have been like all right i think it's just a fight you need to wait a minute or two and see he's gonna call the cops on you guys you're calling the cops on him yo can i tell y'all i'm passionately fucking you know in the argument that you just start fucking if you can't i wish you came out naked i'd have been so relieved yo

oh y'all fucking okay you see you come out fully clothed chest even there's something else going on okay but you come out fully clothed chest even there's something else going on he might beat you up then bro i don't know if he walks out naked you're oh thank god that's how you could tell neighbors ain't shit like neighbors only care about themselves right because like i've had neighbors complain about my dog barking right but i once scared the shit out of my girlfriend she didn't know i was in the apartment right and she was just walking around and i just jumped out yeah and she screamed at the top of her lungs bloody murder bloody murder fuck fuck screaming neighbors didn't call down the fucking doorman neighbors didn't care about this bitch's health the second she stopped screaming it was

like all right we're good. I'm fine. Fuck neighbors, yo. Yeah. Well, you got to do that every once in a while. Keep your shorty sharp, son.

What do you mean keep your short, Al? Make sure she can handle that situation if you just hide and jump out on her. Like what? Everything Al ever says

about a relationship is straight out of the Tory Lanez school. So she can defend herself. Make sure she's ready for us what's she gonna do bro if some dude creeps up on her in the house already like if you start to uh prepare yourself for it instead of just like screaming then you like put your guard up or try to throw a punch or something so you're gonna teach her to be like, ah, this is Alex. Oh, shit. I didn't think about that. So when it actually happens.

All right, don't worry about it. Fuck, dude. I didn't think about that one. That is true. I thought I was like a boxing coach and shit. No, dude. Now she's not going to be on her P's and Q's at all. Fuck.

Oh my God, bro. Now, to the neighbor's point. Yeah. With the neighbors criticizing you for your dog yeah i kind of understand it mark hates you want to know why i understand it why mark hates your dog so i've never seen mark hate anybody this fucking idiot stepped in shit okay all right so what a fucking idiot okay what fucking yo what fucking adult steps this shit what is inside yeah i know how stupid are you i understand if it's on the street you step in shit What fucking adult steps this shit? It's inside. Yeah, I know.

How stupid are you? I understand if it's on the street you step in shit, but how do you not see shit inside? All right. Of all the room. No, no, no. This is important. Of all the room, all the square footage in this studio, you stepped into one place where there's shit?

Okay. You did it on purpose. You did it on purpose. You saw this shit. Okay. And you fucking stepped in it. So Andrew forced his girl to get a dog or something for some reason.

Yeah. So now they have two dogs. We do have two dogs. I take Cookie to fucking work. He's been bringing this shitty dog that smells weird into the studio. It doesn't smell good. You have a Joe Biden dog. You know that? Your dog is fully Joe Biden. It's dead on the inside and it smells and it's making everyone feel weird. My dog's hair does look like Joe Biden dog You know that Your dog is fully Joe Biden It's dead on the inside And it smells

And it's making everyone feel weird My dog My dog's hair Does look like Joe Biden You can sit my dog On Joe Biden's head And it would look no different You got a Joe Biden ass dog

And it fucking smells up The whole fucking studio Okay And so now And then there's pee pads everywhere Okay If you don't know what a pee pad is It's basically like a trash bag

With a fucking paper towel on it That's full of pee For three fucking weeks And it never gets picked up ever. I pick them up multiple times a day. I pick them up multiple times a day. All over the goddamn studio. Yeah, yeah. Mark is upset, right?

Mark is upset. This morning, I reached the tipping point. Yeah, yeah. You did. Why'd you reach the tipping point? I reached the tipping point. I'll take notes. I reached the boiling point this morning because I opened the god damn door After having a really hard day

It was 9.30 in the morning I opened it up, my eyes were shut and tired And kind of crusty because I was sleeping And then I opened up the door And the second I opened up the door I stepped one foot into the studio It was right up front With awesome shoes, really cool shoes

That made me run fast And as soon as I stepped in the studio All of a sudden I squish and it's not studio ground. What is it, Andrew? It's shit. Yeah. From who? From what animal?

From Cookie. From Joe Biden dog. Yeah, from Joe Biden dog. Now, I also step in his shit. It's a girl. Your dog's a girl. They're all guys. All dogs are guys.

We notice it. All dogs are guys. Okay. I also step in his shit. Did it go all over my shoe yes no it didn't yes it did no it didn't i saw you walking to the bathroom with one shoe in your hand saying i'm about to go clean it it didn't go all over it it didn't go all over it because it went all over his stupid fucking shoe fucking idiot wait wait wait hold on hold on who stepped

on it first i did okay but Okay, but this is dangerous. I did. How you step on shit that was shat in? How did I get it? What a fucking idiot. How stupid is he? This is all you, son. How dumb is he? It's not on him at all.

He stepped on shit. Yes, it is. It didn't clean it up. It just covered. It's on him. It just covered more in his shoe because you flattened it out by stepping on it

and not cleaning it. Who steps on shit and doesn't clean it up? I step on shit again though. First of all, I didn't know I stepped on shit. I don't step on shit and then smush it all over the place.

This guy stepped on shit and then smushed it all deep down. You're not putting out a fucking cigarette. Your shit was wrapped all up around the side of the shoe. It was crazy. It was like a fucking cigarette. I did. I didn't do anything. Your shit was wrapped all up around the side of the shoe. It was crazy. Because I have strong legs. It was like a fucking boot.

Yeah, because I have strong legs, I step strong and firm. Walk the stallion. I wish I got shot in the foot compared to what happened to me today. You really look like a shoehorn, dude. It was all wrapped around your fucking shoe.

But that's your fault. It's not my fault. It is. And I'll tell you this. Walk lighter. Why do you walk so heavy? I don't tiptoe like you. It was on my heel. I don't heel toe. You're like walk so heavy? I don't tiptoe like you. It was on my heel.

I don't heel toe. You're like a little ballerina walking in here. That's what I was doing. All I'm saying is the shit ended up being all on your shoe. That's your fault. You should have known that. So you stepped in shit, didn't clean it up. Can I explain to you the second reason why this is the worst?

Okay. I didn't know it was on there. Is that I walked in. Okay. First of all, I don't even think it was shit on your shoe. I think it was just dirt. And then after you saw me step in shit, you were like,

oh, me too. That's crazy. And then you went and cleaned it. It was just like some random dark, like dirt in your shoe. And you're like, whoa, both of us have shit in our shoe.

First of all, I didn't know I had shit on my shoe. You pointed out that I had shit on my shoe. I was like, oh, did it happen to you too? After you were standing there and I knew you were a retard with shit all over your shoe,

you just wanted someone else to have shit on your shoe. So you're like, oh, you got some dark shit. And then I, so that you didn't feel so stupid, I was like, oh, I'll have some shit on my shoe. Exactly. I knew you were lying. I know.

It was gum. I had gum on my shoe. And you went and cleaned it for no reason. And I cleaned it off anyway. And you know what? I didn't even clean it. I just went over there. And I just forgot to clean it.

So it's still on my shoe. I just remember right now, I didn't even clean it off. It's probably still on my shoe right now. This is the most annoying part is I walked in, Andrew's sitting in the chair, just fucking on his phone, just texting away with the worst posture of all time, looking like a fucking candy cane. And I walked in, I was like, hey, Andrew, there's shit on my shoe. I just stepped in shit and now it's all over my shoe and it's from your dog that you bring

in the studio. And what did you want? Do you want me to hold your fucking hand? And I looked over, I said, Andrew, there's shit all over my shoe. And you looked up and you were like, whoa, that's really weird. And then you went back to texting immediately. What do you want me to do, Mark? You want me to untie your shoe for you?

Clean it up. I'm not going to clean up. You just stepped all over it. If I step in your dog's shit, you have to clean the shit up. That's the rule. Technically, I did. I did clean up the mess you made. What mess did I make?

The shit was lying delicately on top of the carpet yeah it's the first step into the studio okay it was your second step yo i started like this dog okay perfectly perfectly the carpet is there not for you it's there for the bikes mark you found a way to like stuff your foot underneath one of the tires of the bike. You stepped on that shit on purpose. I would never.

How many times have you stepped on the fucking carpet walking into the studio? I don't. Absolutely none. How many times have you stepped on the carpet walking into the studio?

Don't be a contrarian. Be honest. I be stepping on that shit. Thank you. You don't understand ganging up at all. I be stepping on that shit. You had no friends growing up?

He does understand. He does understand ganging up. What is this? We're putting you in the spin cycle right now. What the fuck is this, bro? We had him set up. It was like literally the pool basketball where you throw and then you throw. And this fucking goofball over here.

Nah, I'd be standing over it. I wish his pair of Timbs had stepped on that fucking shit with that. Exactly, dude. You already did. Making shit's better. You would never desecrate such a beautiful shoe. That's the only thing to make it. You would never desecrate Such a beautiful shoe That's the only thing To make your shoe You would never desecrate

Such a beautiful shoe Such a perfect shoe Point is Don't be a fucking idiot Mark look where you're walking How are you gonna bring A dog in the studio And make people step in shit

Son I've never seen Mark hate anything So much in my life As soon as I saw him Did I bust out laughing As soon as I saw your face I've never seen Mark So hateful in my life

Look at the bottom of these Ain't no shit At the bottom of those shoes Cause you cleaned it I didn't clean it I brought it in my life Look at the bottom of these There ain't no shit At the bottom of those shoes Because you cleaned it I didn't clean it I brought it in there And I sat down And I forgot about it

And then I just took it back That's what happened bro Come on bro Watch This guy's on fuck This guy's about to crack yo Watch where Cookie shit's next Just watch

No she took her shit for the day It's all over your shit Yo she set you up she did she fucking set your ass up who came first Akash or Mark Mark

Mark came first he she knew exactly who was in the studio and she shit she don't seem to like you she doesn't that's a thing

that's a fact I have noticed that every time I'm on that couch you be trying to get up cute hey hey you and she don't give a fuck literally

before you walked in she laid a fat shit on the ground she did and she did not do that with anybody else can we say one thing let me say like minutes within minutes bro just got i just got here it could be second hey i'm trying to be fair for real mark though you can't criticize a dog for smelling dog can't bathe himself who can you criticize for the dog smelling my girl you my girl need to watch that little son of a bitch okay i what am i supposed to do take it to work every day and wash it that is true i don't be washing our dog also how often you gotta wash the dog once a week what once a week you got that kind of dog washes a dog more

than me once a week that's too much that kind of dog because they not washing the dog More than me Once a week That's too much You got that kind of dog Cause they don't shed Nah B I'm washing it This is monthly Maybe

I think maybe I was doing dog abuse Cause I washed that Motherfucker like Three times a week Was that too much Three times a week Yeah that's why

You hated your dog Nah dude That's too much bro Washing him like A fucking newborn I thought it was Not like a human Are you a retard?

Like a Mark human? Nah, bro. You can't wash a dog that much. I didn't have a dog for a long time, and I found a beautiful family for it, so please don't buddy call the cops on me. So you give a dog up for adoption? I see how it is. I see how it is, Al. Oh, man. I see how it is I see how it is Al

I see how it is Al beautiful cock in Spaniel alright guys we're going to take a break I'm going to pay some bills for a second guys stop having those horrible mornings

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and you'll get 20% off plus free shipping. You have nothing to lose. Also, if you're not fully satisfied, send it back to them. Let them know you'll get your money back. That's it. Simple as that. You got nothing to lose here, okay? If the day is wasted, you send it back to them, and you get your money back. I just read it again. You don't even have to send it back to them. Let them know you'll get your money back. That's it. Simple as that. You got nothing to lose here. Okay? If the day is wasted, you send it back to them and you get your money back.

I just read it again. You don't even have to send it back to them. Just email them. Oh, wow. It's the easiest shit in the world. Wow. You'll get it back. All right.

So go do that right now. Let's get back to the show. All right. We back. Look, let's talk about some shit that we know nothing about, but it will make sense. Let's go. The stock market being lit. Yeah.

Even though there is potential impending doom for the economy. Right. Because usually the stock market is an indicator of the future. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like people are making guesses on the future. Yeah.

So you would think motherfuckers are like, let me not invest in this shit. If the future of the economy looks grim, I'm not putting any money in here. Why the fuck is it lit? Robbie. Yeah. Who works on the monologues with mark and myself um had an interesting point he said something like and i gotta maybe mark you could check out some facts on this while we say it he said something like 90 of the wealth in the stock market is controlled by one% of the population or 10% of the population. I'm not getting these exact numbers right, right? All feelings, no facts.

Oh, this is all feelings, no facts. But an absurd majority of the money in the stock market is controlled by an absurd minority of the people investing. Right. Therefore, those people are not as affected by the pandemic. They still have money to invest. Those are not the people that lost their job at, you know, well, not UPS because that shit is booming right now. Everybody needs shit delivered. But lost their job at a restaurant or they lost their job at the bowling alley or these things that have to be closed now.

So since those people are the ones that are liquid already, haven't felt the catastrophic effects of the uh the economy changing they can still take that money and invest trying to poke a hole please yeah if you are those rich people i remember patrice saying that legit changed the way i look at money he said if you're like you really understand money when bad shit is happening you're getting like your dick is getting hard there's people who saw like the earthquakes in haiti and they were just like jerking off to that point, you're getting, like, your dick is getting hard. Hell yeah. There's people who saw, like, the earthquakes in Haiti and they were just, like, jerking off. To that point, if you're those guys, you're not buying right now. Because you know the stock market's about to dip. Let me wait until it dips and then let me buy.

Bad shit is here. Well, it did dip once. It dipped, but it still seems like the real recession hasn't started. Yeah, yeah. But it did dip once. Yeah. What happened when it dipped? It went back up.

No, but you got in. I bought in. So if you are the layman's investor, you know the fucking banks are all about it. Yeah. I would presume that they're making investments to protect themselves for the potential dip of the economy. But it is interesting,

and I think it is dependent on who has the money. This could even fit your theory because the theory I was told that I believe was after the election, this shit is going to get real. Right. I think Trump is trying to, they said they think Trump is trying to keep things inflated so it looks good.

And then after the election, real numbers start coming out. Yeah. Or it could also be if Trump loses the election, the rich people are going to be like, all right, well, we're about to get taxed more. So let's not buy up so many stocks stocks let's start figuring out different ways to maneuver right now shit is good we're got so the stock market's elevated we got more to put in yeah

it could be it's just interesting like because because of the lack of middle class people investing in the stock market it's become this like utility of the wealthy yeah and i'm not trying to make this episode something like let's consume the rich shit like it's become this like utility of the wealthy. Yeah. And I'm not trying to make this episode some like, let's consume the rich shit. Like, it's stupid. I'm just saying, if it is, it's not an accurate reflection of the people. It's an accurate reflection of how rich people are doing. And there are a lot of rich people that made a lot of money during this recession. Yeah.

I mean, if you look at billionaires, they came up. Yeah. Right? Bezos came up. they came up yeah right bezos came up gates came up yeah people judge them but they just i'm telling you there's a thing that when shit is all falling apart there's also a ton of opportunity and if you get that that's a big thing we're an example of that yeah it came up yep right like our podcast has grown four times during this it's got to be a little bold when the at the height of corona panic you and i talked and we're like what do you want to do and basically we're just like look if you get that

shit we get that shit but we're meeting in person because there's opportunity here let's grow no i like i don't know i mean i i like those situations where everybody's you know assholes are tight i think that that is uh for me i thrive in those kind of environments you know i know a lot of people the pandemic came they're like i'm gonna go back to my family's fucking ranch and then chill out in my family's ranch for a few months it's like oh you don't want this yeah this is game time yeah it should have been go time the second this shit hit and you realize oh nobody's gonna be doing content are they gonna be doing these whack ass zoom calls and all that kind of stuff you should have been buckled down yep like literally i don't know if we told the people this when they were about to like shut

remember they're thinking about like shutting down each borough i almost rented a place in brooklyn so that i could get here on the bike right i was talking to i was talking to like different uh i was talking like different like news journalists and shit to see if i could get us like these journalist passes and then we could go wherever we wanted in the city. Like you gotta, you gotta make time for this shit. Yup. It's gotta go. And it's worked out. Yup. So yeah, there's, there's opportunities to thrive, man. There's opportunities to thrive in this

shit. It's easy to sit back and go, woe is me. The government isn't giving me enough money. How can I be better? It's like, what does that do? How has that ever worked for anybody? I don't know. We always lose this lesson. But after I almost went broke, I realized you save money when times are good so that when the rainy day comes, you make that shit rain. You start putting money in everything. Now, you can really build what you got. Have you ever heard that theory that self-pity is just the other side of narcissism?

Okay, go. So basically, narcissism obviously would be this idea that like, oh, I'm so self-important. Everything's about me. Always thinking about basically like self-pity is like narcissism obviously would be this idea that like oh i'm so self-important everything's about me always thinking about me self-pity self-pity is just the opposite manifestation of that is like oh like the world is conspiring against me i'm so important and my life is so valuable yeah that me feeling bad for myself is the only thing that i can do because the whole world is trying to make me feel bad yeah so you're gonna think yourself, you might as well do it in a positive way.

If you want to make the whole world about you, you might as well do in a positive way. You might as well be like, yeah, okay, the whole world has conspired to put me in this situation

where I can help make my podcast blow the fuck up or make my content sell. There's a lot of people killing it right now. There's an opportunity for you to fucking kill it

right now. I don't know why people don't see this. There's no competition. All the competition is chilling in a fucking ranch. I never heard the saying, fortune favors the safe.

Safe and sound steady. I never heard that. It's true. Yo, go be great right now. And it's not to act like we haven't gotten fucked or lost money or these kind of things. Like, yeah, of course. There are people that lost, all of us.

This guy's special taping got pushed a year. Yeah. I was finally starting to sell out shows consistently and then corona hits boom so you know you'll be good when it comes out how do you feel about people who are upset the government is slowly like giving them less money i mean i i understand that's a good question now i understand the people that go, you're telling me I got to shut down my business and you're not going to give me any money? Like, let me at least try to make my business compliant. You know, like in New York, in Long Island, Governor Cuomo shut down outdoor events that were socially distanced with masks.

What the fuck do you want from us yeah it's like we're complying with everything yeah and you're still gonna shut it down you can't you gotta let these people make a living you gotta let them try if you give them the rules and they find a way to operate around your rules let them give it a fucking try yeah what about the complaints on people say that there are some people that are making more money from the money the government was giving and unemployment so be it nothing no system's gonna be perfect and there are a lot of people making more money right and so be it then it is impossible to like carve out the exact amount of money that every single person should get based on how much they've had. Like you have to just kind of do this blanket thing.

You have to. I kind of understand that you don't want to just give too much money away, print too much money because then inflation could get crazy, I guess. I'm not an economist. But I also like, listen, let's be honest. There was like a trillion plus dollar bank bailout 12 years ago. Yeah. That's like $4,000 for every human being in America. Man, woman, child.

So like, we're just, we're doing it a little bit differently. Maybe it's costing a little bit more, but we've done this before. Yeah. We printed money to give people before and now we're just giving it to people.

My concern with the businesses is just like, if you tell them the rules and they find a way to operate around the rules, don't continue to shut them down. Yeah. You know,

especially when cases are super low, like when, I mean like, just let them fucking try. That't continue to shut them down. Yeah. You know, especially when cases are super low. Like, when... I mean, like, just let them fucking try. That's what I don't like. When you just snip their feathers so they can't even fly. Like, let them fucking try. If you say you got to be outside, you say you have to be six feet apart, you say you have to have all these screens up, just give us all the rules.

Then let me find a way to win with those rules. I'll find a way to win. But every time I try to find a way to win, you shut down again. Now I'm pissed off at the government because now it seems like you're not even going to try. And you cut the funding. And you're going to cut funding. You're going to literally throw my life's work away.

It's not me, but I imagine it's a restaurant or something. You're going to throw my life's work away for something I'm complying with. And then when there's a protest, and don't get me wrong, we support the protest, but when there's a protest,

you're like, oh, no, no, people should be able to peacefully protest because you want their votes. like that is where you have to understand the business owner is upset they should be able to protest and i should be able to conduct businesses as i as for fitting your rules or whatever as fit your old rules when the pandemic was crazier yeah man i mean that shit is just corny and i understand you're doing it to like save people etc but like are you really bro i mean that would that would be their argument that would be their argument trying to get

re-elected yeah i think they're just trying to get re-elected so they're like okay we got to keep numbers down in every way possible so that i can get re-elected and maybe i don't care about those small business owners they're probably going to vote republican because they appreciate the republican tax incentives way more than Democratic ones. So I'm already not getting their vote, so fuck their business. I literally think that's what it is. Where the Black Lives Matter protests are like,

no, no, I need them to support me because I'm a liberal governor, I'm a liberal mayor, I'm whatever it is. I need them to support. So whatever they want to do, we'll allow that and that's totally okay. I would imagine there are way less rules on small businesses in Republican governed states.

Oh, there are. Is that true? What do you mean? In terms of businesses operating, restaurants having outdoor seating. Texas opened up so fast. That's why cases spiked in a lot of those states though. But there is a happy medium. I thought the way New York handled it for a long time was really good. Now though, as cases

are really low, you can open things up slowly. I don't think you don't need to be Arizona and let everybody in. Now they reclosed. That's the thing I'm saying. It's like they closed out Governor's Island

when they were doing, not Governor's Comedy Club on Long Island, when they were doing, for Tim Dillon's show, when they were doing outdoor socially distance seating, we just did that exact same show

in New Jersey. Yeah, that's the one rule I don't understand. But they are slowly opening stuff. Like gyms are supposed to be open next week. Good. So it's like they're slowly opening stuff like gyms are supposed to be open next week good so it's like they're slowly opening stuff again it's just maybe there's something they realize that oh with these outdoor situations it's still if it's tented and people are still

too close like i'm sure there's a reason why they just of course there's a reason all of a sudden we can't do that i just think that that reason is is manipulated by politics and i don't even think he's just trying to get re-elected i think cuomo got his eyes on the white house in 2024 yeah so this is not even this is like i'm the hard nose whatever whatever he's trying to present himself as 2024 these are the things he's putting in place and now yeah but and trust me i'm really not arguing for their side i i can just see their motive behind it because it's like hey if i'm I'm doing this for reelection, I'm also doing this to save lives. I don't know that because I feel like there's other things you could have done to save lives.

No, but I mean like the strict rules. So why do you think they're totally cool with all the protests? Because that would impinge on people's right to protest or whatever. So it's like that. You could very easily say a comedy show is freedom of expression. You could also say you have's right to protest or whatever. So it's like that. You could very easily say a comedy show is freedom of expression. You could also say you have the freedom to make a living, and you're removing their right to make a living. I understand.

Then they say, oh, and we're supplementing your income with. You're not doing enough. Now you're reducing it. Do you think that the conservative governors in places like Florida or Texas are also just trying to get reelected by keeping businesses open. I think they're just as hypocritical. Everybody panders to their fan base. Sorry, go.

No, I just imagine that in Florida, a lot of the business owners are probably more happy than they are maybe up here. 100%. They're like, yeah, I'm still making money. I'm still open. I think that Cuomo's like,

I'm okay if some black people die or some white people die or whoever's going to Black Lives Matter protests die or their grandparents die just so the majority of those people at those protests vote for me. Are happy with me. Are happy with me. And I think that the governor of Florida is like, I'm okay with some restaurant goers die or their grandparents die or some small business owners die just so that the majority of the people there will vote for me. And I think, honestly, it sounds sociopathic to think of, and it probably is, but that is the type of decision

that you have to make as a governor. Every decision you make, some people go down. You got to be a little sociopathic. Yeah. I also think, this is probably, I haven't thought this through enough, but I don't like reelecting officials. I don't think they should have that option. You get six years, eight years, whatever you want,

but you get your one term, so you don't spend the whole term just trying to get reelected. Because's all they do the entire time in office. Oh, these guys vote. Let me make them happy. These guys vote. Let me make them happy. You could argue, though, that there's like an efficiency. There's an efficiency problem with that.

And they say that sometimes with the American workflow, which is like the second you get good at your job, you're promoted. And now the person who replaces you isn't as good as you were at your job. That's why I would be in favor of extending it from four years to six or eight or whatever. Get made, I don't care. It almost like fits the cast system perfectly. It's like, well, yeah, you just stay there and you do that thing

and you get amazing at that thing and then it will be the most efficient. And then these people will do this thing and they'll get amazing at that thing and they'll be the most efficient. No, I like the way you tried to make me feel that shit by bringing me to the cast system and I wanted to be on board real bad well i mean it was the british idea we thought we tried out with you guys you know but no you understand what i'm saying so like

some people might argue i completely understand like especially these fucking congress uh congressman they have two years since uh what is it called two-year terms yeah and they spend the entire two years just trying to get re-elected. That being said, there is something to say, okay, you did four years. You understand how the system works. You understand government. You built up these relationships. Maybe you can get more done in your second term. Who knows? I think the idea is

that way you're always kind of trying to prove yourself and then you can get re-elected. The flaw in that to me is most people don't vote, so those guys just prove themselves to the one who do. But if you just had your one term, I want you to have a vision and see that vision through. Let's see what you got. I feel you, man. I feel as far as businesses go, it's like, yo, you got to decide what the fuck the rules are. If we can't be inside, fine. But let businesses figure out how to operate within the rules. And if you keep on removing their ability to function and their ability to operate, the rules yeah and if you keep on removing their ability to function and

their ability to operate they have every right to be absolutely furious with you because it seems like an attack on them and their livelihood and their families particularly with live performance that's such a part of new york like that's a thing people move here for us to be a jazz musician a stand-up comic like this is a part of the economy that exists here and really only here but like that's what that's a draw for your city you can't shut that shit down i don't understand there's literally a person with a microphone yelling things into it as people outside watch and support did i just describe a protest or a comedy show it's the same well are they socially because if they're not socially distanced as a protest

then it's a protest if they're socially distant there's a comedy it's actually potentially safer yeah like what the fuck yeah maybe not as important but safer it isn't as important yeah it's comedy it's fun yeah but it is undeniably safer and if these rules are to keep people safe not to get people re-elected then you should allow it to happen am i am i being absurd here no i mean you just say that oh comedy shows aren't essential protests are an essential thing yeah and so we're just cutting out all the non-essential stuff anything not essential we're going to criticize everything essential will sort of all right so then then stop serving alcohol it's not essential you know i'm saying like you keep it you're keeping liquor stores open and shit they're

like oh we want we don't want homeless people ODing it's like shut up no you have the liquor lobby that bullies the fuck out of you so you keep it open it's like that's what I'm saying

there's tons of shit that is not essential that's still open right the croissant shop is not essential getting a croissant yeah

that's an essential business a cronut I got a cronut the other day that's essential that shit did slap it's literally all is you know built up what's the name of it A cronut. I got a cronut the other day. That's essential? You should have slapped though. I should have slapped. I should have slapped. It's literally all built up to me.

What's the name of it? Don Ansel or something like that? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. No, it was far. It was absolutely far. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second so you can get some delicious cereal in your life.

Stop messing with all those cereals. They got all that sugar. They got all that bullshit. Okay? Have your kids all hyped up before they get homeschooled. I don even know if they're going to school i don't know what the situation is with your kids is or your life what you need to do is get a little bit more healthy okay you need to get some nutrients in your body but you don't got to stop eating cereal you want to have lettuce for breakfast you got to have something absolutely delicious you're going to have that magic spoon

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the most delicious cereal that you've ever had in your life that's actually good for you or you get your money back. There is nothing to lose. Do it. Let's go back to the show. Yo, look. Let's just do some feelings, no facts because I feel like a lot of this episode

was feelings, no facts. Yeah. You know, all feelings, no facts but I don't know if we specifically hit all feelings, no facts. Why don't you just throw us some topics out that we didn't hit yet and then we'll do all feelings of that but please do not mention anything with meg or tori or any of that

all right bang uh major wildfires in northern california how do you everything's been burning for years that shit happens every year who cares i'm starting to really be concerned because when i was in aspen shit was burning this was interesting about media is like remember when australia was on fire yeah did it go out i guess so yeah it had to right like what remember when amazon was on fire no i didn't even hear about it amazon was on fire right did it go out people said they did that shit intentionally though people said the the media said that they were manipulated even brazilian media this guy was like a representative for the Brazilian president. He's like, yeah, there's fires all the time on Amazon.

This is a normal thing. I think all the G8 countries came together and they donated $10 million. $10 million to an entire country. And the president of Brazil was like, keep your fucking money. We never asked for your shit. So I don't even really understand what fires are. we never asked for you so i don't even really understand what fires are and i have a sneaking suspicion that not only are fires quite normal it's just what the media plays into when there's nothing else going on as long as black people aren't getting shot there's fire the second black people getting shot fires don't matter i really think that that's the problem with australia y'all

don't got enough black people y'all killed all your black people and then now you gotta talk about fires i think this shit happens every august in california yeah every august there's fires it's i'm done it's just i think as of lately they've started to get out of control a little bit more last year was the craziest fire ever if it ain't that giraffe burn whitney who's out there trying to save a fucking giraffe you don't see that shit first of all if you're a giraffe you don't see them fires coming that's on you you should have been out right i don't know about these fires bro like should shit not catch fire how'd we find out about fire because shit catching fire yeah right like also put it out

yeah i mean you can't argue with that Yo like what's taking so long You're right by the water I understand if Arizona catches on fire That's a little bit difficult There's no water around Yeah If California catches on fire And y'all can't figure out a way

To get all that water right there You do have every year to plan for this You have 11 months a year To be like yo This shit is coming How do we get ready You just take the hose And put it there.

Yeah. More hoses? Yeah. Why is this so difficult to turn off the fucking fires, guys? Open up the fucking fire hydrant. Long ass hose from the ocean. Just pull on it from one side and get that shit going. Go in and boom.

Boom. Yeah. That shit rocket. And everybody, they got helicopters and planes dropping. No, no, no, no, no, no. Hose. Oh, maybe you got a plane, drop a big ass water balloon

right on the top of that bitch. You don't even need it. You're getting too extra. Just a hose. Just a hose. Yo, you need a lot of hoses though. Get a lot of hoses. Sprinkler system.

Put a sprinkler. Why isn't there a sprinkler system in the forest? Bro, it's the same fire every year, right? It's not a different area the fires come from. Same fire every year. That shit needs a little bit more water.

It's the same fire every year. It's the same fire every year. I don't think it's the same fire every year. I think it's the same fire every year, right? It's not a different area the fires come from. Same fire every year. That shit needs a little bit more water. It's the same fire every year. It's the same fire every year. I don't think it's the same fire every year. I think it's the same fire every year, bro. I think it literally starts in the same place every year.

Son. That's what y'all get. California. Can't smoke cigarettes nowhere. Gotta walk damn near into the forest to smoke a cigarette and then all the shit

is on fire. All right, this Republican National Convention. They said a few of the people look cocained up. Who cares about that? Good for them yo anybody who watches any of the national conventions a fucking dork it's a pep rally you don't want to know nothing about cocaine you loser yeah whoever's watching it you wouldn't know what the fuck that is come on and let them get fucking riled up who cares i just love that like both sides are trying to get the uh benedict arnold's

of each party. Yeah. I'm a Democrat, but I'm here for the Republicans. I'm a Republican, but I'm here for the Democrats. It's like, bro, get all this shit out of here. Let's go. Luca hitting that game winner. Yo, he's going to be one of the greatest players of all time, and I'm not even just saying that because I'm a Mavs fan.

It's so fucking ill we got this guy. It's a little early to say that. No, he's going to be one of the— Barring injury, he's going to be one of the greatest players of all time. We're going to see. We're going to see. We're going to see. Nah, we're seeing. Trying to get him.

That's my white boy. I don't know. That's my white boy. I want it to be true because I know he's pissing off motherfuckers right now. He's driving them crazy. Driving them fucking crazy.

He's driving them fucking crazy. Watching game three where they sprained his ankle, they were like trying to rough him up and calling him white boy. He's like, yo, you're not going to get to this guy. He is from hell. Whatever hood you're from from he looks at that shit like it's comfy

this is what it feels like to have like serena williams on your team oh yeah you know like how black people are like oh it's sick he is white barack yo so this is he has changed tiger woods serena all of barack all of basketball. Barack. Yeah. Barack. Hope. Change. Bruh. Both from rough backgrounds. You know what I mean?

Luca probably didn't have any letters from his father to go off of. That motherfucker just out here doing it. Yeah. Barack's not from a rough background. Grew up in Hawaii. He didn't have no dad is what I was going off of. Ooh, ooh. Like how great is America that like if you don't have a dad it's like so tragic

do you know what i mean like half the world their dad gets like killed by a fucking lion right like what's the big deal about this right oh i don't know i'm just saying you're not getting luca's all i'm saying that's white barack all right what else um batman trailer you guys saw it yeah i think it looked pretty cool man fire i look pretty cool that guy that guy edward uh whatever his name was his name snowden no what isn't it wasn't that the guy that's twilight i was thinking scissorhands bro i'm glad you said that shit now what is the guy's name robert pattinson robert pattinson oh yeah he's having a little little moment because he's also in that movie tenant the new uh christopher nolan is that good i mean it's christopher nolan he

don't flop he don't fail like he does not fail and they're releasing it though i don't know what's going on with that i really saw they were playing it in some drive-ins only in places where theaters weren't available or some shit like that yeah that's gonna be a tricky one to make money off of but i would pay i do the rental shit for that for sure yeah chris reynolds is that i might buy a bigger tv for that i fuck it all right here's the last one uh kellyanne conway you heard about this this is this is lit yo this is so kellyanne conway is that bitch that works for the president i don't even know what she does worked for the president advisor like senior advisors all right so she's an advisor her husband works for the lincoln i think started the lincoln project right which is this super

anti-trump thing yeah and their daughter republicans oh it's anti-trump republicans that's interesting yeah okay so their daughter is just like walling yeah on social media yeah but it is interesting that like you have these two this these these this one family and there have been families that are like uh diverse in terms of their political leanings. There's that guy, I forget his name, Jim Clyburn, is that his name?

Sure. He looks like Red Skull. Okay. He's got a Southern accent and he always talks about Democratic strategist shit. Oh, yeah, the Cajun dude.

Yes. Yeah. I forget his exact name. He's an old school, I remember. Old school guy. He's a Democrat, wife's a Republican,

and then they have this relationship. Everything's fine fine what's interesting about this family is they just collected checks bro yeah like you can see the motherfuckers just collected kelly ann conway's collecting the trump check and her fucking husband they both have no morals no values just where's the money at and the husband's like oh we can make money on the other side all these republicans okay go get that money and then the daughter is outing them. Yep. So then they both had to stop getting that bread. And I kind of respect it. Yeah, 100%. I respect the mother for leaving the White House.

Yeah. I don't think she's doing it straight for her daughter, but she didn't have to announce that she's leaving the White House. Oh, no, she's doing it for the White House. The White House said, be gone, Thot. You can't control your little bitch-ass daughter. Oh, I didn't know that. No, this is my assumption.

Oh, okay. All facts. I guarantee he's like, yo yo we can't have all this smoke going into the election like your fucking stupid daughter is tweeting you know like trump is like listen my wife hates me she won't even hold my fucking hand but at least i keep this bitch's mouth shut you got your daughter just yapping away right also melania hold his fucking hand bitch like that should be pissing me off He saved you Your country

Don't even have electricity Okay You could be Roasting your ass off In the summer And whatever fucking Russian Whatever

Luka Doncic is probably One of them fucking Fake Russian countries Point is You got saved You gotta put Eight years In a stupid relationship

For the public And then you get to do Whatever you want For the rest of your life Not only that After he's not in office I'm sure she can make money By divorcing him And writing a tell all book in a stupid relationship for the public and then you get to do whatever you want for the rest of your life. Not only that, after he's not in office, I'm sure she can make money by divorcing him

and writing a tell-all book about how awful it was. Just put the eight years and he's not even at home. He's golfing as he's doing some president shit. It's a bid

and you can do bids in a lot worse places than the White House. Hold your fucking husband's hand you piece of shit. He's probably doing that thing he does to other presidents

where he says, who's boss and squeezing the hand the whole time. He's probably doing that thing he does to other presidents where he says who's boss and squeezing the hand the whole time. He just squeezes too hard. That's funny. His little ass hands just pinching biting away at him. Maybe that's the case. I don't know.

Look, I just feel like you gotta put some respect. You gotta have some respect. You know what I mean? It's like you're gonna go through all these other photo ops. You're gonna speak I'm sure she's gonna speak at the Republican National Convention. She's going to do all this other shit. You can't hold his hand walking down from the fucking plane. You're going to do it and you know it's going to make news.

I think she actually is already planning her book and her divorce and her escape. Oh, yeah. And that's why she's doing these little things now. I couldn't even hold his hand. You guys know I was silenced, blah, blah, blah. And then that book in a cell. It's going to fly off the fucking shelves. Left-wing people are going to jerk off on page nine.

That might be enough for me to vote for are going to jerk off on page nine. That might be enough for me to vote for Trump just to put her through that torture for another four years. That might be enough. Like I wasn't before I heard that

but now the fact that she's trying to like get over after he saved her from her fucking Yeg Zemesh country. You know what I mean? You know a bunch of

borats and fucking goats walking around her neighborhood and he plucked her out of that shit? Come on, bro. Yeg Zemesh sounds like breakfast at a Jewish spot. Yeg Zemesh. Get some Yeg Zemesh. Anyway, look, guys. That's been another episode of Flagrant 2.

Is there anything else we need to tell the people before we get out of here? Nah, I got a show. Oh, shit. Tell them about it. It's on September 4th in Royersford, Pennsylvania. Okay. It get out of here? No, I got a show. Oh, shit. Tell them about it. September 4th in Royerson, Pennsylvania. Okay. It's the Soul Joel Comedy Festival, I believe. I'm headlining, but it's an outdoor amphitheater.

They're not shutting it down like pussies. So come out there September 4th. Tickets available on my website. Go get tickets. AkashSingh.com. Also, we will be here Friday. Patreon.com slash Flagrant2. Biggest comedy Patreon in the world.

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one in the whole fucking world go find out why completely uncensored unfiltered recklessness you get a second episode every week

every Friday we're dropping so we will see you there we love you we appreciate you peace We love you. We appreciate you. Peace.