Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Noel Miller on Starting 'That's Cringe', Tiny Meat Gang, & Stand Up Comedy

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

We are blessed today to be joined by Tiny Meat Gang's very own Noel Miller. We talk about his ongoing ethnicity mystery, going Vine viral, the success of 'That's Cringe' and wanting to move to New York to work on his stand-up comedy! INDULGE 00:00 Working out Noel's ethnicity 05:57 Gun to head... we're saying any word 07:49 White co-hosts memory + The Philips got the rice cakes 13:32 Noel got the lamb cheeks + Cody wants Noel to be White 15:48 Larsa Pippen nightly workout regimen + daily nuts 22:23 Akaash rejected for tutoring + Noel's wife ethnicity 21:48 Having kids + relationship with moms are tough 27:50 Crowd's expectations + Noel's start in comedy 37:40 Vine created internet today 41:03 That's Cringe, Noel's viral content + Dan Bilzerian posted Noel 42:21 Impressive Spaceship studio 45:15 Comedy influences - Comic View, Comedy Central, Dave & Rock 48:14 Noel's special is coming + getting your reps in + crowd control 53:45 Putting clips out allowed audience to understand you 56:40 Expensive item for wifey + appreciating the successes 01:07:28 Noel owns Honda Civic & Porsche + how to steal cars 01:12:21 Andrew's flipping his fake Porsche + real one feels different 01:14:20 Loves go-karting + Helmet nerds + Racing competitively 01:36:00 Andrew boxing & does Noel box?? + concussions 01:39:30 Noel been pulled over for speeding + Keys on roof + White privilege 01:45:25 Noel is Touring = "Everything Is F#&ked"

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. Today, we are joined by a man who's going to make history. He has never before this day said what his ethnicity is. He has come on Flagrant to share it with the whole world. We have Tiny Meat Gang's creator. Did you know that? The sole creator.

Founder of Tiny Meat Gang. The founder, the creator, the business mind behind this. Here we go. The one. Here we go. We got Noel in the building. Yeah, let's go, Noel. All right, yo.

Say it. Say it. Tell the people you're white, bro, this whole fucking time you've been lying, man. You would think. You would think I was dodging all the racial privilege this whole time. I don't know. Figure it out, man. Okay, listen.

You know what's fucked up? I just love that I come to New York and the first thing I'm recording is like, we're going to be racist to you. No, no, no, no. We are trying to let you expose yourself. Yeah, what's racist about this? There's nothing racist.

You want me to guess your race, that could get racist. I think you're so afraid of racism, you don't say your race. You don't want to get the racial jokes. No. They're not that bad, dude. I think you're so afraid of racism, you don't say your race. You don't want to get the racial jokes. They're not that bad, dude. No, I've gotten them all. Because we don't know what you are, so we're just kind of scattershooting. That's fine, once you know.

They're going to get targeted once you know. They already are, dude. Oh, they're really good? No. It's a lot of people from the Midwest that have never encountered anything, so they just assume that I'm black so i get yeah yeah they think you're black bro i get i wasn't going black albert i thought a little no i did not really well i get a lot of messages that are like he kind of looks like the jesse williams i think yeah i get that yeah so he's half he's half white half white

you get that a lot yeah Yeah. It's the eyes. Yeah. What a compliment to get. He got some eyes. I know, right? Yeah. Hold on one second. You think Noel

looks like a black man? I think he's a little mixed. I think he's like a little black, a little Asian. Are you thinking he's Asian? One of the hottest

black men at that. I know, right? I mean, this guy's fucking gorgeous. I don't think he looks as good as him. When people say this, I'm like mean, this guy is fucking gorgeous. I don't say shit. But that's goodism. When people say this, I'm like. God bless, dude.

Yeah, I just let them think. I'm like, you ain't never been outside. Thank you for that. Yeah, I never thought black. I thought. That's because you know how tall I am. That's what I think. No, no.

I actually thought you were taller. When we met, I thought you were taller. Oh, yes. Hell yeah. I thought Filipino. That's Oh, yes. Hell yeah. I thought Filipino. That's what I think. But dude, you know what's fucked up? What?

This is what's fucked up about it. When we heard about you guys, because you guys have this massive Patreon, and I started to look into your content, and the tiny meat gang, as hacky as this is, informed my idea of both of you. I thought that Cody was Asian, too. Okay. Cody? No, no, no. It's hack. It's so hacky.

It's so hacky. Now it's racial. Now it's racial. It's so hacky, but I swear to God, I thought the thing was nobody knows what both of you are. Okay. But you had tiny meat gang, so I thought it was like an inside fucking joke. I swear to God. And then Al goes black.

Yeah, Cody's Chinese, bro. No, I think he looks more Asian than you. No, he looks super white to me. I think he looks more Asian than you. Cody looked like a little Virginia to me. He might be out there with his tiki torch. Cody's white. Just throw him off.

But if you really see him, just throw him off. But I think that kid is fucking more Asian than you. Dude, you could be. Notice I didn't go with a hard Asian. I went Filipino. I think Filipino. Half white, half Filipino. I think Filipino because of your name.

Noel, it's like so Christian. It's like there's got to be some Latin influence there. Yeah, exactly. But you look Asian. Noel is like the Jesus of— And he boxed. You know what I mean? He said he could fight a little bit.

Yo, when he came in here, he said he boxes. Oh, motherfucker. I go, you good at boxing? He goes, no, I just like fighting. I was like, he might be Mexican, bro. It's Filipino. It's possible. I know, I know, in here, he said he boxes. Oh, motherfucker. I go, you good at boxing? He goes, no, I just like fighting. I was like, he might be Mexican, bro. He's impossible. I know, I know, I know, I know. Are you Asian at all?

Listen, man, this is a great set. I like what you're doing here. Oh. He built it. He's Mexican. Yeah, he's Mexican. He's Mexican. You're good at building things.

He's like, what contractor did this, bro? Whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He's got Mexican facial hair? That's true? Nah, he's Mexican. He's Mexican. You're good at building things. He's like, what contractor did this, bro? Whoa! Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He's got Mexican facial hair? That's true? Nah, that's Asian facial hair. Bro, he's Filipino.

I'm convinced he's Filipino. You know what's funny, though? I thought you were Cody Ko because that just sounded like a more Asian name. I don't think Cody has any idea that Vietnamese people have Ko. It's like a last name. It doesn't make any sense.

Bro, yeah. Dude, is that great? Maybe he's, you're Mexican, he's Asian. So he's tiny meat, you're gang. Let's go.

Is that how you make it happen? Yeah, basically. Okay, now can you, come on, tell us, bro. What is it? Listen, man. Yo, I hate this fucking guy. You might have said it.

Oh. You said a lot though. You hit every category. So you'll never say it? I'll tell you after but I just think it's fun to like never. Bro, you literally said

before recording you're like, I'll just say where my family's from. No, I said people don't know where my family's from. You're Canadian. Yeah, I was born in Toronto.

So then I don't think they got Mexicans in Canada. So I think it's Filipino. Or like Vietnamese or some shit like that. Somebody colonized by some whites for them pretty ass eyes. Yeah, let's go. Ooh, Vietnamese. I got the colonizer eyes is what you're saying.

Yeah, you do, dude. But admit, that's clout in your culture. Yeah. Because you guys took it and then you flipped it. It's like, that's like Asian Zen work. It's called nicer eyes. You took it and then you made it more valuable. Yeah.

Dude. Okay. Yeah, definitely light eyes in my culture is. Really? I'm the chosen one. Really? Yeah. When you were born, your mom was like.

That also doesn't narrow it down much. That's a lot of cultures. Akash too. Akash got pretty. His culture. Yeah. Oh, yeah. When you were born, your mom was like. That also doesn't narrow it down much. That's a lot of cultures. Akash, too. Akash got pretty. His culture. Yeah. Same. Yeah.

So, you know, you're not narrowed down. But, you know, I also think he's Asian because he knew Ko was Vietnamese. You don't know that if you're not in. You know what I mean? Yeah. This guy's in it. Definitely no black. Stop trying to make black happen, Al.

He's not black. I'm trying to, you know. I mean, look. Can you say it? Can you say the word? Not comfortably. Not happen, Al. He's black. I'm trying to, you know, connect with him. Look, can you say it? Can you say the word? Not comfortably. Not black, bro. Not black, bro.

Nah, but he's Canadian. Not black, bro. He's Canadian. Not comfortably. It's really funny. Not comfortably. Gun to your head. You can maybe squeak it out, but.

If it was a gun to my head, I think I'm saying a lot. You know? That's a very specific context, right? Depends who's holding the gun. Life or death. I mean, life or death, anyone's saying it. Life or death, you're saying it.

I mean, if they're prompting me, I don't think I know it. Oh, okay. No, no, no. Give me your money. I'm like, I gotta get it out once. The people need it here at one time. Like the Patrice bit where gun to your head, you gotta spell restaurant. Gun to your head, you gotta say the N-word.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can squeak it out. I think anyone's folding. Yeah, yeah, they probably would fold, I guess. Okay, so we're really not gonna get to the bottom of this. I mean... We're gonna get to the bottom of this. I think we got it.

Yeah. You may have. I will put money up that we're right. We didn the bottom of this. I think we got it. Yeah, you may have. I will put money up that we're right. We didn't say it yet. You're the fucking right. Filipino. Some people know, and it's just like between me and them, it's this fun little bit. It's like the people

that are that, know. And so we all just know together. And then everyone else is confused. Hmm. I swear to God you told me before we started recording you were going to say

where you're from. I thought so too. And now I'm like a little annoyed because I'm like what the fuck is happening right now? He's doing the bit.

He's doing the bit. This is the bit. So this is the bit. Yeah. And you've just been doing this. Yeah, it's just funny. Buddy, you're right. Does that fucking

you do the podcast with? Does he know what you are? He may have known and then he probably forgot. I don't know if Cody remembers. Cody, if you remember, let me know. Why would your podcast co-host

just forget who you are? Man, when you hang out long enough, you see his memory. He's got, like, Labrador memory. Same. Really? My co-host, too. The white co-hosts don't have good memories. Do you have good memories, Mark?

I got decent memories. So you're mixed. I got good memories. I got good memories. No, you don't. I remember where we met. You forgot. You thought it was Vegas.

No, motherfucker. You said Vegas. You thought it was New York. At least I was closer. I was testing you. No, you don't. I remember where we met. You forgot. You thought it was Vegas. Yeah, no, motherfucker. You said Vegas. You thought it was New York. At least I was closer. I was testing you. Yeah, okay. I was testing you, and then I hit Anaheim. Why were you in Anaheim?

Why was I in Anaheim? Big Filipino population in LA. Big, brown. Taking my family to Disneyland, fool. No, he's not Mexican. No, no, no. No way, no way. He went for it, but that's not Mexican, dude.

We're narrowing that shit down. It is Filipino. I'm telling you, your hunch was correct No way, no way. He went for it, but that's not Mexican, dude. We're narrowing that shit down. It is Filipino. I'm telling you, your hunch was correct. This is a fact. I will put money on this. Also, when you stood up and you had that fucking bubble. That was crazy. I've never seen an Asian with an ass like that.

His shit was crazy. She had to pack you out, bro. Dude, I had to make a comment about it, bro. It was packed in. He stood up, you went, damn. I did. No, I really thought that you were packing, bro. It was packed in. He stood up, you went, damn! I did! No, I really thought that you were packing, bro. The fact that Alex is

knowing that he's thinking that I got a Filipino ass is not helping me here. Why? Sometimes they got some ass. Four Asians, you're judging them on an Asian scale. On an Asian scale, they're the best at it. Black people fuck with Filipinos at least in my lifetime.

Yeah, we do. In your family? Hold on. In my lifetime. In your family, perhaps? In my lifetime. In your lifetime. What do you mean in your lifetime?

What do you mean in your lifetime? Are you talking about, I mean, listen, you're obviously a married man. Yeah, back in the day. Way back in the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way back in the day. When you were a youngster yeah as a black man

I was running around with Filipino girls so you were looking for the Phillips did you call them the Phillips he called them the rice kings god that sounded fucking racist and fun smashing a rice king

but it was racist and fun it wasn't two races it was racial it fun but it was racist and fun it wasn't two races it was racial it was racial it was racial it was R&F it was it was racist and fun I mean bro

you do have some though yeah mhm yeah mhm you wanna make them sticky rice cakes bro

bro bro bro I thought I left Hollywood what's going on here uh uh what's happening this ain't making it in New York bro give us that ass I thought I left Hollywood. What's going on here? What's happening? That's how you make it in New York, bro.

Give us that ass. Give us that butt. Give us that butt, bro. Listen, listen, listen. You got that one hard to spill on? You got that one hard to spill on? Because it was right. He's Asian. But Filipino rice is trash.

We all know that. All the Asians know that. I wouldn't know. Or would I? Yeah, we on to him. We on to him yo filipino food sucks thank you dog it's not all trash i ate there i ate at a filipino restaurant one time with the main course they just brought out like fucking ketchup oh and i was like what the who yeah ketchup is not a main don't you think filipino food sucks look man like i said great set

i like i like the lighting here do you like the lighting yo can you hit up us hit us with some Filipino food sucks? Look, man, like I said, great set. I like the lighting here. Do you like the lighting? Yo, can you hit us with some Filipino lighting real quick? Yeah, what's that look like? This is a tough decision for Miles.

Yeah, Miles. He just went yellow. You saw that? Whoa! He's like, I went blue for the flag. Bro. Oh! How would you know what the fucking Filipino flag is? Bro, you know blue for the flag. Bro. Oh.

How would you know what the fucking Filipino flag is? Bro, you know what hella flag size that is. He definitely ain't black. Black people don't know this much about other cultures ever. You know that. That's a good-ass point. That's a good-ass point. It's the Asians.

That's a good-ass point. Now, what color is the Filipino flag? He just said, I still don't know. Short memory. Fucking Caucasian. That's right. What was the problem? You're mixed

I am oh he is how'd you know white and blue hold on Filipino flag is red white and blue you gotta put it

in a different order he could be mixed he could be Filipino white I don't buy blank Filipino white do that sunset one do that sunset one

damn you about to just you about to just fucking tan me real quick and see how quick it happens I need to see how comfy you get when we hit you with that nice little red-orange one. That Manila sunset?

Ooh. There's something nice about that, bro. What's up with your boy, Manny Pacquiao? Now it's my boy. Wow. Wow. He gets sensitive. He's ready.

He's ready for that. Hold on. Hold on. What? Has anybody ever asked you that before? What? At Manny Pacquiao? Like, what's up with him?

No, he's good. He's good. He's good. Now, you were training Saul Poppy for his last fight, right? I was, yeah. Because he was living with you. What was the deal? He was living with you guys?

Yeah. Well, you know, him and our grandma and our ten cousins. It's a lot of cousins, huh? Yeah. You guys are like potent. What do you mean? Like you can make a lot of humans. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a Mexican in them. Oh, yeah. They can make a lot. Just as I've observed. Wait, those people? Yeah, them. Hmm. Wow, it's weird that you would talk about them like that.

I know. It's weird that you would take such a racial standpoint on a group of people that you might identify with. He's really uncomfortable right now. Look at his hands. He doesn't know what to do. Go like this. You just see what that looks like? Because if it looks trash, I can tell right away.

If someone was going to fight you, immediately what stance would you jump into? Dude, he's a boxer. Well, don't answer that fucking question for him. We're interrogating him. I'm going to pivot and start to run away because I know they're just going to get hypnotized by my ass. Oh. Bro, you do have an ass like a sheep.

Yeah, yeah. Bring up them shits, bro. Hey, come back. Bro, where are you going? I need it. You know, that's typically what happens. Do you have jealousy issues in your relationship with your ass? Uh, nah.

Never? Nah, nah, nah. Never once? Nah. Bro, you ever seen sheep ass before? This is you. When you stood up. Look at that.

Look at that. that's me right there yeah nah you stacked look at this one right here when he's going through it look at my man going through it bro why you not clicking that video

wait stop hating bro is that pressure clap no up one dude top left boom this one's awesome look at this

Filipino sheet right there bro Filipino sheet that one's from Cebu that one's from Manila I mean that one right there, bro. Pow. Filipino sheep right there. That one's from Cebu. That one's from Manila. I mean, that one right there. Yeah, that's awesome. Anyway, listen.

Do you eat those eggs that aren't fully cooked? No, hell no, bro. No, he's Filipino, bro. But you knew about it. He knew it. He knew it. Well, that could have been from my chasing days. You don't know. Oh, shit. You don't know.

Shit, you would take a nice little Filipino girl in Toronto out for some uncooked embryos. That's an aphrodisiac, they say. It is, right? Yeah. Maybe that's why they're so fertile. They're just drinking the embryos. Yeah, you're just drinking embryo fluid. That's a good-ass point. Okay, we're on it.

Listen. Listen, now I'm done with your your it's under your skin just slightly because you told me before son

yeah why don't you claim your people bro that's fucked up don't let the white man strip you of your identity bro Cody don't want you to be Filipino

what does he want me to be cracker a salty cracker from Canada? That's what he wants, bro. Don't let that shit happen. Yeah, man. You're a beautiful

Filipino man. Thank you, dude. With a fat ass. Yeah. You know what I mean? And you should embrace that. Thank you. For real.

Thank you. I don't think about it. Yo, just think about it, man. Yeah. Don't think about it too long. No. Don't think about it too long. Why?

Because, man, I didn't have an answer for it. Listen. Yeah. Don't think about it too long. No. Don't think about it too long. Why? Because, man, I didn't have an answer for it. Listen. But listen, Larsa Pippen, so... Is she Filipino? Yo, Larsa Pippen. I didn't know that.

Not Filipino, but very fertile. Oh, got it. Okay? Oh, yeah. I want to bring this up because we're all married men in here except Alex.

Step up. And the thing is this. Larsa Pippen claimed that Scottie Pippen would have sex with her three to four times a night for 23 years. Saw that.

Okay. Now, I see this clip going around. She's dead ass serious when she says it. Shana Sharp had a funny tweet. He was like, yo, that's why Scottie had them back problems, bro. You can't be here. But I've thought about this.

Scotty Pippen comes from a massive family. Like one of what? Somebody look this up. 12 or 13 or something. Somebody. Hey, somebody. You got that?

Who could it be? You or Miles. I wonder if, everybody's saying that she was just capping it was some clout shit. I wonder if there's truth that she was just capping it was some clout shit I wonder if there's truth to that

you're coming from one of 13 he has 11 older siblings so one of 12 oh that's older he might have younger I don't know if he's the oldest

let me find out that's crazy so you're one of at least 12 that's there's the dog in the family yeah so

wait what you laughing at Miles just dog in the family. Yeah. So, wait, what you laughing at, Miles? Just dog in the family is funny. Anyway, I thought it was about the Filipino going, yeah. That's the racism. That's the preemptive racism. Because they eat animals, right? My man eats dog. I'll look it up.

I'll look it up. I would eat dog. I don't see what the big deal about that is. No, come on. Red dogs are adorable. You can't eat eats dog. I'll look it up. I would eat dog. I don't see what the big deal about that is. No, come on. Bread dogs are adorable. You can't eat no dog. You can't say that in America, bro. Yeah, you can't.

No. But in other countries, they get that. Yeah. Where food is less plentiful. Yeah. Yeah. What a luxury to just pick and choose, huh? Yeah.

Yeah. We don't eat that. Yeah. But then you go to certain parts of the world, they're eating jellyfish and shit like that. Mm-hmm. Chicken feet. Yeah. Don't we eat chicken feet here?

In the South, it's more common. Anyway, so this, what's it called shit? At first, I thought it was like some diabolical move by Jordan to make sure that Pippen could never like overtake him as like the dominant one in the league. Because Pippen had all the physical gifts. You're a little younger than me. But like Pippen, if you just looked at the way that he played and what he could accomplish,

he could have been better than Jordan but maybe Jordan was in his wife's ear like, yo, weaken that motherfucker on some like Bloodsport shit.

Remember Bloodsport? Remember when Shorty sucked off Van Damme before the fight and then he just didn't have the juice? I was thinking, I was like,

okay, maybe that's Jordan, right? And then like his fully formed diabolical plan to ruin this person who is his greatest competitor is to have his son smash her out. Yeah. Right? That's crazy. I think that's valid.

You think he was, like, paying her to be like, yo, fuck him more? Well, I don't know if there was some compensation going. I mean, like, he's a mastermind. You know, like, he could maybe convince her. He could have charmed her into it? Of course. Whoa, that's crazy. I mean,

if Scottie Pippen managed to charm her, I think Michael Jordan could do it. Right? I think she's charmable. I don't think. Hey, man,

leave Pippen alone, man. Are you a big Pippen fan? No, no, no. Now you don't fuck with Pippen? I don't know. Why don't you fuck with him, bro? Just polarizing the shit out of me. Yeah, his binary's out here, bro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, clearly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I fuck with Pippin. But also, if you do the math, 23 years, that means they hooked up like 97, 98, something like that. Yeah, it was towards the end.

That's assuming they got divorced a few years ago. So he was already having the back problems and the migraines and the big games. Jordan was already kind of done with him. I think Pippen was just a coos hound. Yeah. I also don't believe four times a night and you cheated on her. Who trying to have sex a fifth time? Yeah, that's crazy.

Maybe Pippen. Nobody, dog. Oh, he was cheating too. Allegedly. What is that sex drive like? Can you imagine having that? Yeah, that's crazy. Like needing to fuck,

like, yo, Duval tells me every morning he busts a nut, and I'm like, for what? But I'm just saying, sex changes, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you got kids, right?

Hell no. Come on, bro. Nah, you doing them? I'm trying to have some kids, man. You're trying? I don't want to have some kids. You're doing them? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're trying? Yeah, I'm busting it up, you know what I mean? Ah-ha! Because I would tell her after you're done, you're like, ah! Got him! We did it, baby!

Are you going to have kids? You've been with your girl for a decade, bro. We don't know, man. What do you mean you don't know? What do you mean you don't know? Like, we... You can put your foot up there. It's all right.

Polite-ass Asian. Yeah. That's how I know you're Asian, bro. He almost took his we... You can put your foot up there. It's all right. Polite-ass Asian. Yeah. That's how I know you're Asian, bro. He almost took his shoes off. He took his shoes off when he walked in the studio. There's little tails at him. Imagine if I just walked up in here barefoot. And he gets sensitive about the Asian jokes.

I'm telling you, I know he's Asian, bro. No, I'm not sensitive. Go ahead. That was defensive. There you go. You still don't even feel... No, go ahead. Light him up.

Light him up. Light them up. Yo, what kind of car do you drive? This motherfucker got a lowered Civic 100%. 100%, bro. Are they still doing that? Oh, yes. Out in L.A., for sure. Yeah, they are.

No, but can you tell me about kids, bro? Why are you not trying to have some kids? Put them in Kumon and shit like that. You know what I mean? Get their SAT scores up. West Kumon. That's where every Asian sends their kids. Yeah, it's like a Korean tutoring center.

That's an insane tutoring place. Have you never seen this? We went to the Jewish one, Kaplan. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the only one I know about. Yeah. Indians be teaching that shit.

I don't even think they let non-Asians in the Asian one in New York. Oh. Asians had like a Saturday one. It was like Saturday school, but for learning. This is what's crazy, bro. Yeah. This is the logo for Kumon. Yeah.

If you're a little kid that wants to get some tutoring, that's the place you walk into. With that sad little face like, you fucking idiot. Yeah, no, you're going to study. You're going to study until it hurts. Yeah, that's your mom's face and you got a B. That's why you're at Kumon, bro. It's insane that that is the logo. Every time I drove past it.

You need to upgrade that for sure. When I was broke before Patreon, I applied to be a tutor at Kumon. No, I got rejected. Damn, bro. They said, I caught you.

I think they looked at my tweets or something because I had a phone interview, which is one of the sadder moments in my life as a 34-year-old man having a phone interview to be a Kumon tutor.

And then they loved me and i was like all right at least i got something fucking 14 an hour or whatever and then when i got rejected that shit i will never forget being like i can't tutor some fucking chinese kids to get their sat scores up what a low in my life damn dude damn that's wild they called you up and they were like hey man rejected i got rejected teach what was it math or the other one it was math but you teach i guess you could teach whatever because i didn't go to kuman because you know my parents were fucking up but uh all indians will send their kids there to at least even teach just like as a job that's the job you can get that

doesn't upset your indian parents because everything else they're like yo just study don't work at fucking i worked at at Target and my parents were like, just study. What are you doing? But Kumon is like, oh, you're teaching kids, you're learning, it's academic.

This is all true, right? That's great. You wouldn't know. Might be. You wouldn't know. Would you put your kids in Kumon or Kaplan? You notice he laughed when I said Kumon, though. Is your girl,

is your girl known in the world? I don't want to... Yeah, yeah. Oh, she is, okay. And is she Caucasian? No. What is she? Akash is going to get real upset.

Baby! No, not for those reasons. Oh, fuck. What is it? Spokestani. Let's fucking go, bro. He don't care about that. I figured off the first name Muslim.

Alina is more of a Muslim name. And I'm saying it because she's in videos and stuff like that. Damn, is this the police? You guys are just... No, we all did research, yo. Immigration. We were like fucking ICE, bro. Okay, so Pakistani.

Was that tough for her parents? Nah. Because they tend to be more... Like, Indians are pretty... You need to marry your own. But Pakistani... They don't even know who he is. They don't know who he is yet.

Yeah. Damn shame, Pakistani. I think maybe her grandma's like still holding out hope that you are pakistani yeah just like three percent oh that's why he doesn't say it oh maybe oh you're breaking pakistani they're gonna rescind my ring dog they're gonna come take it son you're breaking their heart because not only are you not pakistani but y'all might not even have kids and all they want is grandbabies. Yeah. You're just like the worst thing to ever happen to her parents.

I know, I know. But you will have kids for the fifth time. Like, we wanted to, and then we had, we have our nephew who's great. And then we like, we kind of observe

what it means to be a parent. And then we just kind of like, damn, that's a lot. It is a lot. So you think, no way, you're not going to do it. We probably will. But at this particular moment, we're both like, fuck.

Because it's too much work. It's a lot of work. Yeah. One seems doable. One seems light work. I think you can do it, man. Did you have a good relationship with your folks? No.

So that's where it comes from, maybe. Are you worried that you're going to fuck your kid up? I used to worry about that, but not so much anymore. I think I've afforded enough therapy. I think I could. I could do well, I think. You had to heal a little bit. A little bit, yeah.

Wait, what happened with your folks? This is interesting. Oh, me and my dad were great. My mom. Tiger mom. Yo, me and my dad were great. My mom. Tiger mom. Yo, moms be wild sometimes, right? Moms are wild sometimes. Mine too, man. What's up with that? Yeah, you know.

Maybe one day we'll reconnect, but right now it's just not. It's not there. I've reconnected with my mom, but it was rough for a minute. Yeah. But you get a little older, you realize that sometimes you're a wild boy. Yeah. Might be you a little too.

I know it's hard. Yeah. When I was 33, I was like, it was her. Yeah, but in his defense, your wildness is much more obvious. You being tough to deal with is much more obvious. You don't know about this motherfucker. We don't know, but yours is much more on the surface. So enough people are going to be like, yo, you're fucking crazy,

that you're going to be like, yo, maybe I'm crazy. Him, he seems so put together. He might be crazy underneath, but people aren't just telling him, yo, bro, you're fucking tough to deal with. Yeah, but he don't answer no fucking questions. He's just dodgy, that's all. Yeah, dodgy would annoy you. Yeah, but his mom knows what he is.

Imagine you date birth to someone, then you ask him questions he don't even fucking answer. You want applesauce? He's like, I don't know. Maybe I do, maybe I don't want applesauce. Nah, that'd be driving me fucking crazy. Okay, so are mom and dad still together? Nah.

They're divorced. Is mom in Canada still? Nah. Where'd she go? They both live in L.A. Oh, they came to L.A.? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay. They both live in L.A. Oh, they came to L.A.? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Were you raised in L.A.? In like a mountain suburb of L.A. Eagle Rock. Tell me that shit is Eagle Rock. No, no, no, no. That's the east side, though. But no. No, it was like the city I moved to, when we moved there, it was all like two-lane roads.

Now it's a much more developed town, but it was kind of small. Yeah, it was like a lot of Mexican people there. Koreans eventually came. Strike off Mexican immediately. Yeah? Yeah, 100%. Listen, you said when you were in here first,

you said you were like, yo, is everybody here just debating 9 o'clock in the morning? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's an anger. There's like a pulse in the city here. You think it's a little bit too easy in L.A. sometimes.

Yeah, all the time. All the time. Yeah. Would you ever consider taking your wife and moving her to New York? I've already talked about it. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah.

What is the appeal? What's the reasoning? I don't know. I just think, well, one, there's a lot of stand-up out here. Yeah, for sure. And they tape your sets, too, so you can probably put some of those online. Yeah, you should put some stand-up online. Whatever you do, hey, you should try to get some stand-up online.

Yeah, I probably should try to get some clips. You're the only touring comedian that has no stand-up online. I know. It's shocking. Thanks, dude. Yeah. It'll probably help me. The faith that the audience has in you to come out to your show.

It's really funny reading some of the comments being like, is this dude even funny? What does he do? Yeah. Other people think that I just get up there and have a monitor, and I'm just reacting to videos. Yeah. Yeah.

And then actually, it's kind of worked against me in some context because I think people come there thinking it's going to be something in the vein of YouTube. Because that's the only thing that they know you for. And then they see you doing actual jokes with punchlines. So they're like, wait, what the fuck is this? Show the video of the guy eating a weird thing. Show the mukbang. And then react to that shit. But that's on you for not putting it out.

No, but I think it's fun. Do you ever got to coach the audiences and be a stand-up audience? A little bit, yeah. That's why Zayad's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. An opener who shouts at Zayad Dujee. He's the guy. Who sets the tone for the show.

Is there ever a part of you, because I've actually seen some of your stand-up and it surprised me. Because my perception was, I was like, oh like oh because again you have nothing out there yeah but i i saw some stand-up and i and i go oh shit he has jokes yeah because what i thought was that you were somebody that got tons of success online and then kind of converted it into a stage show which a lot of people do because it's a great way to like monetize, et cetera. But you know, as a standup, because you actually are a standup, like a lot of standups hate that shit. Yeah, yeah. They're just jealous.

Yeah. They wish that they could also do the theater. And then I saw you actually had like jokes. You had like punchlines. I was like, oh no, he actually does standup. Yeah, I did standup for like, it's like about three years before everything. Before you started all this other stuff. Yeah.

And then you've continued to do stand-up. Yeah. Yeah. I basically, so I was that, and then I gave in to the idea that the internet was, because at L.A., you can't get time like how you would out here. Yeah. And the guy who broke me into stand-up, he was like, you got to go to New York, bro. You have to go to New York.

That's what I always got told. I started in L.A. as well. Yeah. 16 years ago or something like that. Yeah. But I knew that wasn't possible because I made a lot of dumbass decisions. So I wasn't just broke. I actually defaulted on two or three credit cards, and it was like my line was getting hit.

We want this money now. Yeah. So I just had to kind of work with what I had what dumb ass decisions uh dude I'll get into that in a second but all right yeah I guess it's like relevant but basically I had this like period where I just told myself like uh okay I'm gonna start a production company like I just woke just woke up, and I'm like, I'm just going to do this. And I kind of had motivation there because me and some friends, we, like, entered some film competitions, and we won some money. So I thought, okay, we're decent at this.

But I never thought about, like, bro, you got to, like, build a business, get clients, like all that. So I went and ran up a bunch of cars, bought a bunch of gear, and I'm like, all right, we're ready to do this. And then there's, like, no money coming in the door. And then I just started, like, just generally fucking up because now I, like, owe money. And I'm like, you know, it's just starting to be, like, ants, like, crawling over you. So it got to a point where I was working these bullshit-ass jobs.

And in the process of trying to start the production company, I was, like like teaching myself how to write code because I just want to build us a website. And my girl actually said, yeah, I've talked to some of the developers here at my job and I feel like, no disrespect, but I feel like you're smarter than them. I feel like you can figure this out. So I called up a recruiter and I was like, hey, I want to write code like for work. And he goes, all right. So he like finds me a gig and I do a code test I bombed it but the people there were like this dude seems willing to learn and so they kind of took me in and actually in that process is what got me into stand-up because the guy who broke me to stand-up his name's Andre Paradise he came in to do like work and you see the way I like talk shit in the

break room and stuff and he goes goes he's like an older black comic so he's like hey bro you got the chat you ever thought about doing stand up and I say oh yeah I've thought about it but I've never like

you know so he's like alright why don't you come see me do a show like in a few weeks I say okay I go to the show it's an open mic

it's this boy's open mic and he's like alright you going up third oh shit wow throws you up yeah it throws me up I go to the show. It's an open mic. It's this boy's open mic. He's like, all right, you're going up third. Oh, shit. Wow. It throws you up. Yeah, it throws me up. And did you have some stuff?

I wrote some shit. I ate, like, tough. And what was funny was it was this hookah bar. And actually, I saw a lot of people get up there. David Lucas used to get up there all the time. Shout out to David. Love David. Rel Battle.

Yeah, Rel Battle. That's my brother. What's the name of it? This is in L.A.? Yeah, Amsterdam Cafe. Oh. Amsterdam. Yeah, Rel Battle. Oh, my God. That's my brother. What's the name of it? This is in L.A.? Yeah. Amsterdam Cafe. Oh.

I've been there. Yeah. Amsterdam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's been around, dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when I started. Red Room Stage.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you walk in the door, and the stage will be to the left. Yes, right to your right. To the right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And when was this that you did that? This was, like, 20 20 like like 2012 2013 it's like it's so blurry now but there was like a good like year two years i was like going there one story yeah but it was like a lot of comedy store guys would go there and i figured out pretty quick like everybody knew each other and i was one of the seven guys that didn't know anybody right so even when i'd sit and wait to go up like 18th and I'd just do the shit, sometimes nobody in the room. Sometimes just the bartender. I just eat it and I'm just like, all right, I got to work it out.

I remember that process. You have to have at least one person that's in be like, oh, he's funny. And then they'll start fucking with you. It's very much like being a new kid at school in L.A. because it's a smaller scene. And then if you have jokes, then you're in. And then you're just talking shit or whatever. But because I was writing code and I had, like, a real job, I couldn't, like, I couldn't.

What everyone would do is they'd go to the Amsterdam Cafe and then they'd go hang at the store. And you couldn't do the hang because you had to get to sleep and shit. It was tricky. Okay. But I remember going back there after a period. I went back there, like, because I had, then I started doing bringer shows

and just anything i could to get time and i went back there and it was i actually got like one of the first five slots it was like one of the only times i ever got the first five slots and i dished some shit out and i had everybody laughing and uh i remember i said one joke i said i thought i don't know if that's too much and then one dude goes goes, if it's making us laugh, it's probably too dark for our audience, bro. So you got something. And that felt like the first time I got kind of like a stamp. Like, all right, you're kind of doing something out here. But yeah, so I was doing all that.

But it's in that process where I admitted to myself, like, I'm going to have to give in to the Internet. I can't just be a straight comic because I'm never going to get time. So there's actually like really funny old flyers of me that have me on it. And dude, they have like all the social media symbols next to it. And there's one flyer where they're like over a hundred thousand followers on Vine. Like they were trying to market me that way. It was so goofy, but yeah. So then the internet stuff happened. And so now it's just like, I'm getting back to it. But you've been able to continue going on stage. Mm-hmm.

Okay. And now you can get up at the clubs in L.A. a little bit more. So that's the thing is, like, they show me love, but I actually don't know a lot of people out there. So it's kind of like I don't – the same way you're like when you look up me doing stand-up, you don't – you just find that one clip. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're like – you're like, wow, boys. Because now there's peak curiosity about this. I know, yeah. The only people are going to go, what the fuck, man? Right now it currently has 2.7 thousand views, if I'm not mistaken. I remember the views being dumb low. And it's like an eight-year-old video or something. 2.7 thousand?

Yeah. 2,700. That's why I didn't hire him at Kumon, bro. Yeah, fuck it. Hey, bro. We just found out. 2.7 thousand. No, 2.7K is what the thing says.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you not realize how fucking dumb you just sounded, Seth? You're giving us a face. Yeah, if I say 1.3 million, you know what that means, right? Wait, no, no. Don't take the position like you were right and you were wrong. I'm right. If I say 1.3 million, you know what that means, right? Wait, no, no. Don't take the position like you were right and you were wrong. I'm right. If I say 1.4 million, what's the number?

Alex, you need to step in. Son, it's like... Alex, you need to step in. He's kind of right. I don't know. Nobody says that shit. But nobody says it. That's fair.

That's fair. Like, you sound like an idiot, but you're right. I'm technically right, but okay, nobody says it like that. I accept that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's on me. All right. Damn, so you got defensive about that math right there, my boy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, bro. Come on, bro. That was a core memory. You get it. You know what I mean? You get it. No.

Filipinos can't do no math, bro. They try, though. What are you talking about? Why are you looking at me? Why are you looking at me? All right, so here's a question. You start to get up. Everything's good.

Obviously, you have the success on Vine. Does Vine create all the internet superstars that exist today? It kind of did. Because I think it like, I don't know if some people like this. Name some of the people that popped on Vine that we know now. I mean, like Hannah Stocking made it through. Logan. Logan, Jake. Jake, you, Bash.

I wouldn't count me, though, because I had 100,000 followers right when Vine was about to die. I didn't get millions. Okay. What's weird, though, is I made a lot of Vines that people know, but, like, they didn't know it was me. I think DC Young Fly started on Vine. Yeah, DC Young Fly's a good one. He blew the fuck up on Instagram. He started on Vine and had some shit that popped. Lele Pons? Hmm. I don't know.

There's just, like, a lot of talent that came from Vine. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Like, I kind of feel that way in a similar way with, like, stand-ups and Guy Code. There's, like, all these stand-ups that have become incredibly popular that like came through this weird random MTV2 show. Yeah.

And then sometimes that happens. Also, Vine was so heavily edited, I think it taught all of us to speed up things. Yeah. You got what, seven seconds or whatever it was? Six seconds.

That's actually a great point. Yeah. I mean, the format itself was ahead of its time. How the fuck did it fail? I think it got acquired and then it got shut down or some shit.

Yeah, it was bought by Twitter and they killed it because it wasn't making money. They didn't know how to monetize it yet. So it was just before the write-down. It was just all the time. Yeah, it was ahead because then when TikTok happened, phones were better, the tech was better, monetization was like more

understood. And we understood the model. I don't think we fully, I was, I'm 38, so I was kind of old when Vine came out. So I was like, a six-second video, how the fuck am I going to watch this? I think TikTok, we get it now because Vine was ahead. So TikTok, and you got 60 seconds at the time. So it's like, oh, this is a whole thing. Did Vine let you edit and do all the things on the app?

Eventually, they let you upload things from your photo roll. So because I knew how to edit, that's kind of what people knew me for, is I'd have these highly produced, pieces, and people go, how the fuck do you do that? That was the beauty of TikTok, right? TikTok goes, all that shit is in here already. We got you. Whereas before, you had to at least understand what is it called?

What's that fucking Apple editing software? Final Cut. Final Cut or something like that. Okay, okay, okay, okay. But the idea was right. Just a constant distraction, short, move on to the next one. Yeah. Yeah, so Vine blows up a few folks,

but you say you just kind of hit the end. You just had... So, yo, it was funny, like when we were doing research for you, I had no clue it was you and Cody that did that meme that... Yeah, yeah, that's the one. Is there a bunch of shit

where you guys are viral, but people don't know it's you? Yeah. I think a lot of people don't realize it's me because I wore hats in a lot of shit where you guys are viral but people don't know it's you yeah i think a lot of people don't realize it's me because i wore hats in a lot of them funny yeah and that was kind of like the thing on vine as well i wore hats in a lot of like my vines so people like don't know that it's me what was it was there a thought process behind that uh or is it just what i just wore a lot of hats at the time yeah like it's just. Damn, bro. Where would you be without the hats, dude? Honestly. Stadiums.

Yeah, probably. The funniest one is to this day, I still have the only meme that's posted on Dan Bilzerian's Instagram. Oh, really? Yeah.

What is it? It's like this old-ass vine. It's stupid as hell. It's just my girl saying, who is this bitch? And she like holds a phone out in the foreground. And that's just like the, who wants to be a millionaire menu comes up with like, just like some answers. And it's just like me thinking about what I'm going to say.

It's funny. Yeah. And it is crazy because I posted it and it got like a ton of likes and I was about to go to a movie and I'm like, well, that's cool. And I go watch the movie and then I come out the movie and someone says hey Dan Bilzerian posted that to his Facebook page and it had like 7 million views or some shit and people were like yeah

so if you scroll down it's like the only meme that he's ever put on his whole account that's hilarious yeah it's weird as fuck it's just hot girls and then you yeah actually like if you just scroll all the way down it's just my face you're a bad bitch bro yeah you are with the ass are you the only man he's ever posted on his Facebook Actually, like if you just scroll all the way down, it's just my face. You're a bad bitch, bro. Yeah. You are. What can I say?

With the ass? Yeah. Are you the only man he's ever posted on his Instagram? I think so, dude. That's funny. I don't know. I look like a little boy there, so he might have been confused. Yeah.

Oh, it's an Asian lesbian. Yeah, throw it up. I'm curious about the, I'm curious about the, that cringe, like that whole era of this stuff you guys were making. Is it ever annoying when people bring it up? Or like people will be like, bro, that's the thing that I love the most. And you're like, it's been years. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

It's definitely, sometimes people heckle it at shows and stuff. Oh, really? Yeah, but Cody and I understand like where are you going to get that much exposure? I think all of that's cringe. Cody knows like the actual number. Can you explain what it is to the people that might not know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you've never heard of it, basically, dude, it's so funny

because Cody and I never had any thought that it was going to be anything. We just kind of knew that reaction videos were a format, and Cody just thought to put, I don't know, that's cringe. Like it was just such a natural. And then we just kept using that title. Or Cody would keep using that title because he was just thinking, oh, well, they know that from the last one, so I'll just recycle it. And we were unintentionally making a series. It was basically me and my Vietnamese co-host, Cody Ko.

And we would just react to random videos on the internet. And so I think all of them combined have something like, that's like 175 million views. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, it's an absurd number. But yeah, so we don't get annoyed. We understand that's where people know us from. Right.

I think most people, if I put on a hat, then they'd be like, oh, yeah. That's your disguise, taking off your hat. Yeah, who the fuck is this guy? And the pod, though. The pod is popping. You guys had, I mean, you guys have still, like, one of the most impressive studios.

I remember I hit you up. Yeah. I remember I saw it, and I was like, holy shit. This is on another fucking level. Yeah, man. Because, I mean, you can describe it better, but the thing that I thought was so smart is obviously the set looks good, et cetera, but you have these, like, screens.

You're talking about their windows. Yeah. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. That's right. You bought a whole space. Space theater, bro. These windows on the spaceship. Yeah.

It's a whole spaceship. But the coolest thing about the spaceship is that it's moving through space. Yes. And you can see that through the windows. Yeah. They're not TV screens that's playing a video moving through space, but they're actual. We're actually going in space, man. Yeah, that's space. Every time through space but they're actual we actually go in space yeah that's space

every time that you go we made all that Patreon money so yo Patreon pays good we had to join Jeff and Elon up there we know what's up get away from the pores

yeah but it was fire it was just great yeah I loved it I loved it I loved it I loved it man yeah

you talked about starting stand up I remember in a video you were talking to Cody and saying something like, I was drawn to stand-up at like 12, 13 years old. Yeah, yeah. Who were the stand-ups? What drew you to it? And then what took you so long to get into it?

So, funny story about that. I would actually just watch like a ton of like Comic View, and then Comedy Central just had like the 10-minute sets that they would run. Filipinos love Comic View, dude. You and Joe Coy. Fuck. It was just what was on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? Who says I'm Filipino, though? All right. My bad. Let's move on. No, you're all right. I would just watch a lot of that. But so I remember watching the set on Comic View.

And I remember it being one of the more like this comic was like his face was more animated than like a lot of other comics so but for years I couldn't remember I just knew like his face

I knew his behavior so the guy broke me into stand up he goes hey man meet me down in Englewood I'm gonna introduce you

to a friend he's putting on a show and he takes me to a club. He's putting on a show. And he takes me to a club called the J Spot. I don't know. I know the J Spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the J Spot. And I'm watching.

I'm watching this guy. And I'm like, man, that face. I know the face. We get off stage. Comedy OG is like, hey, this is Eric Blake. I say, Eric Blake, you have a set on Comic View about, like, stuffing some drugs in a, in like, you know, you ate them before the, and I'm describing the bit. He just looks at me. He goes, how old are you?

I say, man, I'm 23. He's like, we some old motherfuckers, bro. Yeah. So, Eric Blake. And he was nice enough to let me open one time he's from South Central so like sometimes this crowd

is gonna be tougher he a brolic guy Eric Blake yeah he's tall I think I remember that guy and so he let me open one time I'm mad

I ate it so bad dude I ate it so bad I got off stage I'm like man it's probably cause you know like maybe I shouldn't

open on some sex jokes and my comedy OG is just busting me he's like you thought it was the sex jokes that made you not funny? He's like, nah, man, you just ate it up there. I'm like, all right, yeah, I know you got it.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, but a lot of comic view. And then I got a little bit, like, in high school, a friend's older brother for my birthday, he bought me Killing Him Softly and then one of the rock specials. Do you remember which rock special? The cover was like, he's in a white suit. It looked like a, damn it.

I was going through his specials recently because of the new one. And I'm like, what fucking special is it? He's holding the gold mic that's bigger and blacker. The white suit might be Bring the Pain mic. I think it's Bring the gold mic that's bringing the that's a bigger and blacker white suit might be bring the pain might i think it's bring the pain okay yeah and so whenever like i get in trouble my parents would take my computer away yeah i would just sit on this like tv on the ground and i just watch those specials just like on loop amazing yeah just both of those are just fucking incredible yeah would you drop a special yeah so the set i've working on, I've been working on it almost like two years now. So I think I'm going to put it out. I'm like scared as fuck though.

That's the thing. That's why I was wondering why you haven't put stand-up out. Are you a little bit scared? I am, but actually I haven't put out any clips because I think clips are kind of deceiving in that, yeah, it's like it'll help your career and it'll help you grow. And you can get better through watching your own clips and all that. But I guess for me personally, I kind of just wanted to focus on it for like a year and change, like just getting back to it and just being good, like just being comfortable. Smart.

And not, not worrying about the content of it. Cause I think naturally, like when you're being filmed, you're just going to be different. Yeah. So I kind of looked at it more like, what am I actually trying to do up here? Just make it like personal discovery shit. There's a, yeah, I think it's a really good observation you're making about the clips in general, which is like, what we would do is we'd film every single show on the road.

And when we were in the comedy clubs, we're doing five shows, six shows, and sometimes we get nothing. Yeah. That's six hours. Yeah. And there's just nothing. Yeah. And that's okay.

Yeah. And eventually the cameras just kind of exist there, but you forget about them because you're not going, I need to get this right. It's almost like, I remember like my least favorite time in comedy was when I'd be like preparing a late night set. There's a time early in comedy where I was like, oh, I should audition for late night. Let me get my five minutes. And it's just brutal. Yeah. It sucks.

Because you're not going up there enjoying the jokes. You're going up there like, okay, this has, I can't address anything happening in the room. Yeah. I have to start on this. A pot falls. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You're not being in the moment at all. So I think that that's right that you're just like focused on like grinding it out and like getting great, you know, making sure the moment at all. So I think that that's right that you're just like focused on like grinding it out and like getting great, you know, making sure the bits are strong. I think that's the right decision. And then when it's right, you know, put it out, obviously.

That's kind of how I feel. So I've been filming every theater show. Just so you can watch it. You can. Yeah, and then just have it. And so like that little clip I put in that vlog

was like the first one where I said, all right, I'll just sprinkle it in. I'll just like have a little bit. It's a good clip in that. And Andrew kind of alluded to this. It showed me you were a real comic because you, someone just yells out some shit.

You're not thrown at all. You talk to him, you respond to him and then you have funny. And I'm like, oh, that's a guy that has worked on the muscle. Appreciate it, man. Thank you. Yeah. Because I think most people come from who were like YouTubers trying to do it or whatever. They're not going to know as well what to do.

Yeah. They might learn. But for you, I was like, oh, he's been doing it. He's a stand-up. It's also scary, though, to release something that you identify as. Sure. You don't identify as a podcaster or a reaction video guy. No.

You probably identify as a stand-up comedian. It's what I care about the most. Exactly. So that's the thing you're going most. Exactly. So, like, that's the thing you're going to hold closest where it's like, all right,

if this reaction doesn't go that well, you're like, well, yeah, I don't do that. I do this other shit. A little bit, yeah. You know?

I mean, you know, I don't want anyone to feel like that, like, watches me on the internet. But I've been pretty vocal about it. Like, they know that,

and they come see me live and they know, like, oh, yeah, stand-up is definitely, like, his, like, first love. Like, the rest of this is cool

but like that's definitely like his best weapon so to speak is there any anxiety with having a pre-existing audience and then introducing this new type of content like

no because in some ways I think that's actually kind of like when I do those weekends in like Kansas City and it's five shows sometimes it actually

creates like some of the hardest crowds because sometimes you get a crowd that's, like, all 20 years old, they know me from the internet, they actually don't give a shit about stand-up, and so, like, not only am I trying to convince them to, like, get into the show, they may not even like stand-up, like, they may find out in that moment where they're, like, I don't really care for this, like, format, like, this shit is kind of corny. Think about being 20, your whole life you've just been able to swipe up whenever you don't like something. We at least grew up with TV. I got to sit a half hour.

So sitting through a one-hour show that I don't love is not that bad. But they're like, bro, you're going to do an hour and I can't swipe up on you? What is that? That's the best point. It's brutal, man. You ever got to kick people out? Like people that just don't know what they're doing? You got to be like.

I've only had a couple of those shows, but I don't really kick them out like i'll just kind of i kind of beat up on them for a minute then i'd be like look just shut the fuck up like no one hates you like just sit down and like just don't be like that yeah i'm like just you paid like just hang like just don't be annoying yeah and there's this girl in the new orleans this is actually great she's like hammered and uh in the middle of my set she stands up she's like to the room

I'm gonna fucking leave before I fucking cuss you out and I go the whole room goes what? cause the show was fine and she just stands up

and says that and so I kind of started torturing her a little bit then I realized she's like gone what I didn't notice

was as I'm starting to like clown her a little bit, she's there with a guy. And the guy's like, yo, yo. And he starts like inching away and he left. And so what I found out was she was on a date and the dude was like, nah, fuck this. And he just ditched her right there.

And she sat there after he left for like 20 minutes just like hammered. She was the only one I could see. She was the only one sitting under a light. Oh, hilarious. And she's just like kind of like wavering. Bro. Yeah.

Did she cuss you out? No, no, no. No. Bro, I was in a— She might have thought I was the guy. You know what I mean? She didn't know what was going on. She's like, how did he get up there?

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when people don't know you for standup, because that's what happened for me for years. I did the podcast with Charlamagne and like people just didn't know I did. They kind of like knew I did standup. Yeah. But they didn't because they didn't see any. And then I put some out and all of a sudden my like personality

and everything made sense on the podcast. Everything that they took seriously and they were like upset about, they were like angry about, they were offended by, immediately became like, oh, I've seen his jokes. I get where he comes from.

He's just trying to be silly. Like it just made everything so much more understandable. So you might even have like more, what is the term? Like a poetic license? Yeah, maybe, yeah. And the audience will be better trained

because again, the swipe up, if they've seen your standup and like it, they're not swiping up on it. They know what the fuck the deal is. They have to like it first. That's the part. They know I'm going to go watch an hour of this exact thing. Yeah, yeah.

So it will help that, too. Do you ever feel like you can't move because you guys have such a successful business? Yeah. So that was my thing is I think after tour, I'm just going to—I want to shoot out what I've done and then I think it's such a thing because I know people work on specials for a while but I feel like two years is good enough for this one and then I hit the reset button and then I come

out here and just hustle I'm talking about business wise like with the pod no I know yeah that's why I can't like fully move but my plan was to kind of come out here and just spend like blocks of time whether it's like two weeks two weeks here, two weeks there just try to do as much as I can over here

while that's running but yeah, you can't like it's crazy like all the business people are over there but the stand up is like really here especially now because Rogan left and all and Kreischer and Segura you felt that man

I felt it a little bit last time I was in L.A. I was like, oh, there's a different energy. Yeah. There's a different energy. I mean, that time when Rogan and all those guys were at the store, the store was just electric. Every room just fucking rampacked, people standing, watching. That's what it looks like at Rogan's Club now, though.

Bro, I know. You've seen the clips from it? Yeah, I've seen a couple. It looks insane. Go, go. That's what it looks like at Rogan's Club now, though. Bro, I know. You've seen the clips from it? Yeah, I've seen a couple. It looks insane. Go, go. Akash S&P. It's good. But yeah.

Yeah, I'm excited. Would your girl move out here? It's funny. She wanted to live out here a minute ago before we got our place in L.A. And now I float the idea, and she's like, she's like, ah, she's getting comfy.

Bro, it's cool that you've been with her since before you were successful. Oh, bro. She was with you in like the credit card default days. Dude, she used to sit with me like at the Amsterdam cafe. She watched me eat it. And she stuck with you though. Oh, yeah. That's fire.

What was the first like expensive thing you bought her where you're like, hey, we're gonna be alright? Let me think about that. There must have been a bag or something where you're like, she's not too material like that.

Right. Tickets to the Pacquiao fight or something like that. No, that's Unc, man. He got me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's smart because I'm doing

the same strategy. I've been with my girl a long time. I've been married since I was 23. And so I've just been trying to keep her taste poor. Everything, I get her like a fake Michael Kors bag. Do you let her go out past nine?

No, no, no. I gotta keep her in a poor mindset because she grew up without a ton of money. So I don't want to just give her a ton and then all of a sudden her expectations go high. My wife is ruining his wife. It's the worst. They hang out. My wife's picking out bags for her

they come back my girl was like oh yeah we made an appointment to go see a bag we in this together no we're not no she made an appointment

to see a bag if I'm spending money you're spending money that's what this is you know what I can't wait for why can't you let anyone win bro come on you're gonna be in the car one day

what's your wife's name Alicia Alicia she's gonna look out the window and say you ever thought about doing a special i think i think i think you'd do so well you'd be so funny i can't wait she has career advice she's like you should do a tour yeah you should be excellent yeah that does happen like sometimes i'll be like running a joke by my wife and she'll give me a note and i'll be like the fuck what just happened right now

she's like yeah if you come in from this perspective you probably get it i'm like what did i create what did i fucking create yeah my girl is this dude she's like i love her because anytime i bomb she wouldn't be like hey like it's like she'd do that a little bit and she's like i'm pretty sure is when you said that she'd be like a little bit, and she's like, I'm pretty sure it's when you said that. She'd point it out. She'd be like, I think you lost the room right there. I'd be emotional, like, nah, man, this is a bitch-ass crowd, man.

They don't know how funny this is. She's very Pakistani about it. She just goes straight to the point. Yeah, yeah, dude. You're good at coding. They got to cheer you up with your other successes yeah no but that's

it is cool like I feel like being with your girl since before because then every new experience you get to take her on you feel like Drake

like that is what happened with me like I would take her on a trip and she's like really? Mexico? like she like

can't believe it and we're standing at like a fucking Best Western out there I'm like yeah dude with me and her the thing is though we used to like

we kind of like always like pooled our money together and we treat us like a business yeah so we're always like pretty tapped in

with like what we have yeah so I think in that way she's not material so generous of you my debt is your debt yeah yeah yeah oh no no

she didn't let me get off with that no hell no bro no when I started coding she was like you need to do this if you think this is gonna you know work out You're dead. Oh, no, no. She didn't let me get off with that. No, hell no, bro. No. When I started coding, she was like, you need to do this if you think this is going to, you know, work out. You got to handle this shit. No, no. She wasn't that mean.

But so I guess like. Yeah, I just realized that conversation where she got you into coding was way, you made it sound way nicer than it was. I've been broke with a brown girl. It's not, hey, here's an opportunity you might want to pursue. That ain't it. Yeah, she saw you bomb and was like, do you know C++?

Yeah. Wonderful. She's like, it's a JavaScript. You're really good at that. Nah, man. I remember when shit really started taking off.

She had a moment where she's like, I've always known you to be funny. I've always had faith, but I can't deny it's really crazy to see it work out. Oh. Yeah.

That's like a backhanded compliment. Yeah. Sneak this. No, no, no. Your girl's a savage. That's awesome. But to be fair, I was kind of leading the conversation that way. But she and I both, we always talk about this shit where we're like,

this is kind of like a one in a million type expectation. We really talk about it now where we're like this is kind of like a like one in a million type expectation like we really talk about it now when i do the theaters that shit fucked me up in sydney like i had 2 000 people there and that was like sold out to the max yeah and i just was like having this real meta moment where i'm like fuck it's like a lot of people yeah yeah because i think it was different when cody and i toured it was it was kind of like variety show my portion of it was definitely just stand up yeah but i think it was kind of like this like it was like a good time and everyone was in on it like we're kind of like sharing inside jokes with the crowd or whatever and i think the expectations were kind of like whatever the show is it's gonna be a good time it's almost like a meet and greet they're like

we want to be in the room with these guys. Kind of, yeah, yeah. We've watched for hours. Yeah, people are just super excited. But, you know, we wrote a show. Of course, of course. But then this is like, everyone's a little bit older now. And he's just going to be up there talking. And you're doing the thing that you've always wanted to do. Yeah, yeah. So I care about it more.

Or like, yeah, it's near and dear. So it's definitely been a process. Yeah, you have what are called feelings. Yeah. And I know growing up in your strict Asian household, those aren't allowed, but it's great that you had to go to Australia to find them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you were close to where? Yeah. Isn't that interesting? The homeland. Isn't that interesting?

Isn't that interesting? Yeah, I got to New Zealand and everyone's like, hey, cuz. I'm like, yo. Don't do that. Don't throw us off again. He's Kiwi, dude. Is he fucking Maori, dude? He's Maori. He's a Maori?

He's a Maori man. Maori? Shout out Vinnie Bennett. I don't know who that is. He was young Vin Diesel in the second to latest Fast and Furious. Still don't know. That's a very niche reference. Wait, now I think you're Mexican, bro.

You know every Fast and Furious character. There's some type of Latino in there somewhere. It's all about family, baby. Let's go. I had a bunch of friends, because I'm 26, so growing up, I had so many friends, especially from back home, that just watched all your guys' content.

Damn. And I was asking them, and they were talking about you as if they knew you. Yeah. They know everything about your guys' life. They do. They honestly do. Do you ever feel like the proximity with the parasocial stuff gets too much? Like does it ever freak you out when people come to you on the street and they're like, bro, blah, blah, blah,

this, this, this? Nah, I mean, I think for other people it might be because it's very like, I think for other people that make stuff on YouTube, it's very fanatic. Yeah. But I think because people have kind of grown up with us, they listen to the podcast. It's very actually like, I do feel like I know them because they know me. Right. And some people are super respectful.

Yeah. Some guys might stop me in the airport and they go, you don't know what, can we just get a quick picture? But they say it like soft. All right, guys, we got to take a break for a second because honestly, your bong is trash. It's tearing up your throat. Your throat's on fire. Throat's absolutely on fire why because you don't got the glycerin chambers fam okay the glycerin

chambers the glycerin chambers are key freeze up them glycerin chambers okay so that smoke hits your throat nice and cool take the biggest bong rips ever, chicks get drippy, you get sucked. It's a very simple formula. You don't have to take advanced resinometry to understand that if the bong is cold because of the glycerin chambers, the bong rips are big, the chicks get wet, you get sucked. Okay? Hello? You don't believe me? Ask my man Al Jebra. His math is crazy. You don't know about Al Jebra? Yo, Al's math is crazy, and he told me it adds up. What about Cal?

Dude, you could also talk to Cal Culus. Yo, my man, Cal Culus, okay, algebra, obviously all know the math, and if you want to get a master's in resinometryometry you need the motherfucking glycerin chambers bow bow

big big big clouds of smoke don't bring Ari into this bro dude I refuse to talk about Ari yo Ari Thmutetic is one of my favorite friends

from Hebrew school, yo. Ari Thmetic is a great dude. He knows all about them big bong rippies. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Point is, look, right now, if there wasn't a forehead in the way, you could start smoking like royalty without paying a king's ransom by visiting thefreezepipe.com and with massive 420 sales going on. Right now, there's never been a better time to upgrade your smoking game.

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You bust out the George Costanza. What happens to that pool under her seat? Freezes over. Cataclysm. Cataclysm. Cataclysm. You know what I'm saying? She's going to be drier than the younger driest. Think about that.

Okay? And you had it pooled up. Crazy. Pawn scum. You had the panties full of pawn scum. You had the panties so full of pawn scum, Miles was going to have to power wash them. She couldn't even take them. She couldn't even take them. You know what? She couldn't take them to the dry cleaning. That's a fact. She got to take them to the wash them. She couldn't even take them. She couldn't even take them. You know what?

She couldn't take them to the dry cleaning. That's a fact. She got to take them to the wet cleaning. That's how pooled up it was. She was going to have to take them to the wet cleaning. Miles was going to have to come through. Miles was going to have to come through with the power washer and clean the pond scum off the panties, but your wallet was trashed. You didn't

bust out the extra. Bam! You didn't bust out the extra that's RFID protected. That means nobody could boop you. Yeah, you know what the boop is. Somebody, you know, you pay for the latte. Boop. Take your card out. Boop it right on the machine.

This right here is a wallet that's boop proof. That means a dude with a booper can't come up to you on the street. Sorry if I'm getting too technical here, guys. And just boop it out of nowhere, steal all your information, charge you for shit that you didn't even buy. What I'm trying to say is if you want sure to stay pooled up, if you don't want people to steal your information, and you basically just want to be the man. You check out wallets at Ekster.com. That's E-K-S-T-E-R.com. And you get up to 25% off site-wide with this code right here, flagrant, shop.ekster.com slash flagrant, shop.ekster.com slash flagrant. Ekster is E-K-S-T-E-R. Make sure you use that promo code FLAGRANT.

You're welcome. Let's get back to the show. And we're back. Breaking development in the story. Breaking development in the story. We have a little bit more information that could lead to understanding where you and your family is from. Yeah. You are the proud owner of?

A Honda Civic. A Honda Civic. What kind, though? This is important. So it's a 2003. So it's an EM. Yeah, that's the best year to mod. 100%.

No. Come on, bro. No. The early 2000 ones? I had a 93SI. No, you want the 90s, dude. Why? Why?

What happened in the 90s? Well, the EK and the EG chassis are just like the most, you know, modular. They're the easiest to mod. Oh, you got the EM. Yeah, I got an EM. Wait, you know about cars and shit? Yeah, a little bit. He knows about honing.

Can you fix them? I could do something. He could soup them up. I could do a little something. He can't fix them. I could do a little something. He could soup them up. He could do a little something.

I'm telling you I'm right, dude. Can you rob them? Can you steal them? No, I wasn't like that, but I know how to get that done. Yeah. Really? Yeah, you rent a tow truck. You get a chipped ECU.

What's ECU? It's like the electronic computer in a car. Okay. Yeah. So back in the day, people would take the ECUs from these. Okay. And they would chip them. And then they would actually go around L.A. and they would go looking for S2000s with the top down. And then they'd hop in the passenger and they'd rip up the carpet and they'd swap the chip just to get the car to go into first.

And then they'd roll them onto a flatbed tow truck and then jack them. So that's how you jack the cars. Because you can get into first gear if you chip it. If you just swap the computer. So, yeah, it would like get the car to turn on. It turns on, it's in first gear, but you can't do anything else. Not much. You'll start fucking with the car because the computer, like, I think it...

It recognizes that you're trying to steal that shit. No, it just dictates like how like the engine runs and it's not mapped for the engine that's in that car. So you're going to fuck with it pretty bad if you run on that program. How much of cars nowadays are—how do I word this? Is a car now just a computer? Like these modern cars? Yeah, and I would say in a lot of ways they are.

So if you were a mechanic, do you have to be a computer engineer as well now? No, no, no, not like that. Okay. I think there's a lot of stuff that is, like, computer dependent. So when you have shit wrong, you might take it to a mechanic, and I feel like they may say, oh, yeah, like, this is fine, but because the computer is, you know, wanting this out of the car, you have to go take it to them.

Like, and in this era of car, they could do whatever. They could swap out parts and there's a lot of parts. Yeah, it was a mix and match kind of potato head thing. My Porsche is a 2022. Oh, damn. Yeah. Okay, okay. So you had to get the allocation for that.

Yeah. That must have felt nice i mean i got it right before they started marking them up i was gonna say what was your markup i got right in right before that because i bought it like still during kind of covid uh-huh it was crazy i kind of decided like all right i want to i want a gt4 i went in to go buy one. And I've never seen a car salesman this depressed. Because I was like, do you have any? He's like, no. You came in here a month ago, man.

We were selling them 10% off. Wow. I was like, fuck, really? He's like, yeah. He's like, I don't even know if they're going to make that car again. Like, they didn't know if sports cars were going to be a thing because of the production. So then I found out they were going to be a thing. They were going to do another run of this year. I got the allocation,

but it was still like people weren't ordering them. So I got in right as the demand was kind of ramping back up. And then when I went to go pick it up, the dealer manager looked at the slip and he goes, or the sheet, and he says, who's buying this? And he starts getting mad. And he calls my car broker. My broker was like, uh, uh, uh, uh, we locked this in a year ago. You can't try to do that now. But he was trying.

Because the price bumped. Yeah, he tried to slap 50K on top. Whoa. It went up 50K? Yeah. Just off of what? Sheer demand? Yeah.

That was like a normal markup for that year. Yeah. Wow. Crazy. Wait, why? Why did the markup go up so much? Because basically Porsche, they don't know if they're going to keep making this car because everything's like going electric.

Oh, yeah, yeah. This is what happened with the, what are they called, Hellcats and shit like that. Yeah, yeah. I think it was, what did they say, that this was going to be the last year they were going to make the 800 horsepower engine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then everybody and their mother started buying them because boom, it makes sense. Yeah.

It's almost like collector's item. Yeah. Yeah. So you drive only manual buying them because boom, it makes sense. It's almost like collector's item. Yeah. Yeah. So you drive only manual through LA? No, no, no. I caved on the paddles.

Oh, you got the paddles. I love manual, dude. Even in LA, the hill's not that bad. No. It's annoying at like three stoplights every fucking two months

or whatever. Yeah. You ever think about getting a fake Porsche? Fake Porsche? Yeah. What do you mean by that? Well, you're just getting a sick fake Porsche from back in the day, like a Speedster from like 1957.

Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. Thank you, dude! Well, do you want to buy one? Because he has one. You don't want to wait. Very cheap. Yeah, if you don't want to wait, I might have one for you. How many cars do you have?

I mean, if you call it a car, I have one almost real car. Yeah, one too many is how many cars you have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't you have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Yeah, you don't like cars. Well, no, I like this fake Porsche. I have a 1957 Speedster. Okay.

But it's a 1976 Beetle that has been carved and chopped into a Speedster. Oh, wow. It's beautiful, but it's leaking oil. It's gorgeous. It's so, it's a pain in the ass to drive. Let me see it, let me see it. Let me get it up. I could have got a fucking. He'll walk you over to it right after. Yeah,'s leaking well. It's gorgeous. It's a pain in the ass to drive. Let me see it. Let me see it. Let me get it up. I could have got a fucking...

He'll walk you over to it right after. Yeah, we'll go. It's like an IG thot. It's beautiful on the outside and broken on the inside. It is, dude. I should have got it electric. You can get them fucking electric. It really is.

You're trying to fly it out to LA. It's like this vibe. This isn't the exact one. No, not even close to that, Mark. Don't disrespect my car. I drove one of those at my wedding. It looks just like it. Don't disrespect my car. It's the same thing. It's the fact that you Don't disrespect my car. I drove one of those at my wedding. Looks just like it. Don't disrespect my car.

It's the same thing. It's the fact that you would even disrespect my car. Yours is just like British Racing Green. It's just crazy. Jerry Seinfeld sued

for selling allegedly fake Porsches. Exactly. You guys have so much in common. That's wild. You guys both got fake Porsches.

Rich. What else? The comedian thing. You've had that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. New York Rich. What else? The comedian thing. You've had that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. New York City. Funny sometimes. New York City.

Do you fuck with bikes at all? You ever got a motorcycle? Oh, man. I want one so bad, but my girl is like no shot. Really? Yeah. What would you get? Are you like a sport bike guy?

Yeah. I'd probably get a Ducati like 848, but I'd love a cafe racer. Yeah. You don't want the fucking handlebars like that. Oh, dude, I drove a real one of these. Stop, stop. Damn. Damn. Stop, stop. Give him a wet willy real quick.

Give him a wet willy. That was so hot. The real one is hot. I've driven the real one. When the guy brought it to me, he was this Dutch guy, and he was like, I heard you're a bit of a kart racer I'm like yeah

I drive karts he's like okay and he's describing to me how to drive the car a real one drives just like a go kart oh really like on rails

yeah not necessarily but it's like the gearing and like it's only got four gears it feels very go kart how does it sound

well how's your sound I feel attacked right now it feels very go-kart how does it sound? how's your sound? I feel attacked right now you offer him some charity this is how you get repaid I feel attacked I was trying to relate to you I'm sorry every time he comes up to the bar

people are like yo punch me no backs what did you say? so why do you want to sell it though? no I don't want to sell it I just want it to work but I will be honest

driving in the city with the fucking... Does it have an airbag? It's a 1957 Porsche Speedster thing. But I don't know if you, like... Did I put mods in it? Yeah, yeah. No, it doesn't even have seatbelts, really. Yeah, yeah, the seatbelts on that are scary.

It's nothing. Yeah, this is a motorcycle. Yeah, you drive that? Yeah, drive that, but you can't drive more than fucking 10 miles per hour. Yeah, it's safe in the city. But it sucks because you're changing gears all the fucking time. If it was electric, that's what I should have done. I should have just went electric.

Put a battery in it. You can. They offered it to me. They're like, we'll put the Tesla shit in. And this is what they said. They're like, I think we can get 100 miles on it. And I'm like, ooh, no. That's trash.

Yeah, that's garbage. That's garbage. And it's like, maybe we could add more batteries, this or whatever. And I was like, I just need to be able to get out to the island on one charge. How far can you get out now? I can go out as long as I want. Then you can get gas. Not with no oil.

Well, it's leaking oil, Al. Yeah. But I didn't buy it to do that. I know, but you should have went with electric. It would have been good. You're saying if you went electric, it wouldn't leak the oil. Yeah, fuck, that's a good point. You could that. I know, but you should have went with electric. It would have been good. You're saying if you went electric, it wouldn't leak the oil. You could just get a generator, put the generator in the car.

Did I bring this up? Why did I offer this information? You offered it because you wanted to relate to his real Porsche. Yeah, a real Porsche? That should get you... How far can a real Porsche go? A real Porsche can go as far as you want. You can take it to the track. That's how much he knows about cars. When he went to buy one, he was like, can a real Porsche go? A real Porsche can go as far as you want. It does. You can take it to the track. That's how much he knows about cars.

When he went to buy one, he was like, how far does it go? Yeah. Damn. You gotta ask those questions, bro. Akash was like, well, you can get...

I did not ask. This shit can go 2.7K miles. How many even is that, dude? Come on. No, it's so much fun, dude. It just leaks oil constantly. Do you actually race? Do you actually go do track days and shit?

I haven't done a full-size car yet, but yeah, I've done a ton of karting. I like karting way more. When you were a kid, were you karting? No. Oh, you got into it late in life. That just sounds wild fun to be in a kart. I had a shitty-ass childhood. I'm just rediscovering it now.

Oh, hell yeah, dude. There we go. Open up. Open up. I had a horrible childhood. I didn't get to go karting. Open up. Open up.

I had a horrible childhood. I didn't get to go karting. And he's white laughing at me like, we got to kart every weekend. Poor, mixed, ugly. I didn't say ugly. I said you're handsome. You got the fatty. Oh, thank you.

That's right. No, but the karting shit, that's how all the F1 dudes do it. Yeah, yeah. That's the thing. We think karting is like this childish thing, but every one of the professional race drivers in the world starts out karting and then continue to do that

into like adulthood. I almost did that. I went karting with these guys and I won and they asked me if I wanted to go pro. Where'd you go karting though? This was a spot we did in LA, I think.

You're a liar. Why are you tapping? No, I did. I posted it on my Instagram. I have the fastest lap of the week. We like you. Fastest lap of the week.

We like you. You don't have to lie. I'm saying, Mark, you're white, you're young, you're handsome, you're sexy. I almost went pro. Yeah. I was just like, nah. Where's this little place?

This is like a little spot. This is like, where did we go? You guys remember? Bro, this guy is the biggest cheater. Worst day of his life. Where was it? St. Louis. Where was it?

Oh, St. Louis. Yeah, it was a St. Louis speed track. Oh, you went to the open. Yeah, exactly. We went to a video game arcade. It had a little bumper cars in it. Anytime, anyplace. And I worked that ass.

I worked that ass. What are you talking about, bro? Alex was the worst. Oh, my God. You were the worst. What are you talking about? You were the worst. I won first.

I believe it. Alex. And then he won the second one. Thank you. Alex, stop it. Isn't that how it went? Yeah, exactly. I had the best lap of the day.

You never won. Black people drive fast. So I believe Alex won. He lost the second one. You never won. Black people drive fast. So I believe Alex won. He lost the second one because he got pulled over, but I think if he had been pulled over, he probably would have won

the second one, too. I hate him over here, bro. Wow. Yeah, dude. Fuck you. By your dad? Your dad pulled him over? By my dad pulled him over.

You did win, didn't you? You did win. I bust your ass the first time. You did win. The first one. And then he went on fucking Wikipedia to figure out how to cheat.

Oh, my God. It's so enraging. I downloaded the update for how to race, and then I beat him up. No, he didn't. As we're signing in, I look over him. He's on his phone watching, like, tutorials on how to do bumper cars. Yeah. Yeah, because I'm a pro.

What do you mean, yeah? I mean, any time I go any track, small or large, I look up an onboard. You got to look up the map. You got to get birds out of here. You know what I'm saying? Let's fucking go. What is that? There's no honor in that.

There's no honor in winning, bro. That's goofy, bro. You got to figure that shit on the fly. Yeah, like a man. What? Now I do that. Don't flip. Don't flip.

No, stand strong. Don't flip. Because you said every time I go, I download. No, no, no. If it's like a legit track, I'll look up an onboard. Yeah, you got to know where they oil it. But if I'm just driving like some random like indoor. What if it's an arcade? No, I download it. No, no, no. If it's like a legit track, I'll look up onboard. Yeah, you got to know where they oil it. But if I'm just driving like some random like indoor. What if it's an arcade?

No, I won't. This guy is on the arcade. Are they bumper cars? Yes. No, bro. They're bumper cars. Like with the stick on the ceiling? Yes.

No, you don't know. No, he doesn't know what a bumper car is. They control how fast you can go. You kept bumping, motherfuckers. They shut our speed down. He grew up going to carnivals in the 70s. He doesn't know what bumper cars are. Shut our speed down, bro.

Andrew goes into Arcade. He's like, where's the bearded lady? That's what I'm saying. I thought I was in a stand lot, bro. No, you cheated. I didn't, bro. You, Alex, actually won. I won.

No, you cheated. Why are you giving it to him? What makes you happy about him winning? Did you guys go to NOLA Motorsports Park? Or you just went to some random family fun? You don't understand what I'm telling you. There's Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, bumper cars. It's bumper cars.

We had a helmet. You know how Putt-Putt has the gold card shit? We had full helmets and shysties. Okay. We had both. Don't say shysties, man. I'm trying to make it sound cool. No, it wasn't shysties.

That's what he said when he gave it to me. He passed me that. I was like, oh, thanks for the shystie, bro. And he was like, what? And then I beat him. We didn't have to do that. Mark's like, I'm from New York. That's what he said when he came to me. He passed me, I was all, thanks for the shysty, bro. And he was like, what? And then I beat him. We didn't have to do that. Mark's like, I'm from New York. That's what we say.

Brooklyn, dog. County of Kings. You know what time it is. Okay, listen. That's why the fucking cops came to pull Alex over. I got a black guy here and they're talking about shysty.

He was playing music loud. That's not him. The fucking full sheriff drove on the track. He was like, I see him. Yeah, they got him. We're going to give him a ticket right now. They got him. That's what it. The fucking full sheriff drove on the track. He was like, I see him. Yeah, they got him, dude. We're going to give him a ticket right now. They got him.

That's what it takes to win sometimes, dog. Yeah. Calling the police? Yeah, bro. That's why they call it a Porsche 911, dog. It's just 911. You got to call them up. This shit is a Nazi car, man.

That's good. People always forget that. That's true. Yeah. But wait a minute. Did it exist before the Nazis? No. Okay, so.

Volkswagen is people's car. But was like nazi that's nazis yeah but was it around before the nazis because if you're around before the nazis and then the nazis use it that's so the story it is that i've seen was that there's like a apparently there's like a third jewish participant with like ferry porsche and there was like a third partner so it's three of them and they used to have like a racing team. So they used to kind of like build cars together. That was my understanding. And then they got contracted to work on Volkswagen

and then subsequently Porsche became a car company because they were originally just like an engineering consultant company. Almost like AMG. Kind of, yeah. And maybe they didn't know. They just heard Supreme Race and they're like, let's get in it.

Yeah. Let's get involved. That's what we're supposed to be. It was a track. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. So what's up with this Aryan race? They're like, how do we win?

And they're like, you already are. You're kind of nailing it. You're right. Okay, so they got hired. So you're basically saying the Jews are responsible for. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't put the Jews in my mouth. Hey, yo.

It just kind of seemed like you were saying the Jews are responsible for how the Nazis got around. They may have participated. Wow. Dude, is that factually accurate? We have a Jew here. So the Jew is a great first name, Adolf Rosenberger. Holy shit. And he provided the financial backing, obviously.

For Volkswagen? For Porsche. For Porsche. For Porsche. Oh, for Porsche. Yeah. And then he was deprived of his stakeholdings and position in the Porsche company. Oh, my God. Damn.

They never acknowledged him. So Porsche is a Jewish car brand. You could potentially say. That's what I'm fucking talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Why are you talking about that? Why? Because I'm not supporting the Nazis.

I'm supporting the Jews by buying my fake Porsche yeah but it's a fake one you bought a Volkswagen you're actually taking money away from the Jews you bought a Volkswagen

which is a Nazi car and then put a Jewish thing on top of it so actually I approve thank you so it's more ethical to drive a fake Porsche

he bought the Nazi car he approves you you fucking Nazis get that finger away from me who you calling a Nazi bro what are you talking a Nazi, bro? What are you talking about? No, but for real,

y'all are Nazis for even questioning that shit. For what, dude? You bought a Volkswagen. You bought a Nazi. He has a fake one. That is true. He bought a Volkswagen, though. It's a Volkswagen.

But you brought the year that like Adolf was ripping in. In 57? He was murked already. Yeah, yeah. Was he? Yeah. Long dead.

And his is 76. 45. 45? I thought it he? Yeah. Long dead. And his is 76. 45. 45? I thought it was 46, but long dead. Hitler's long dead by 76. You guys believe Hitler killed himself? He got the haircut. April 30th, 1945.

You go a little smaller on that mustache, you're going to look crazy in that forest, dude. Honestly, you're lucky you got that Jewish-ass nose. Otherwise, he would be drawn a lot more completely. I got to confuse him, man. I got to keep him Honestly, you're lucky you got that Jewish-ass nose. Otherwise, he would be drawing a lot more conclusions. I got to confuse him, man. I got to keep him guessing. But no, this is aerodynamic, this nose. It's Aryan dynamic?

It's Aryan dynamic. Maybe that's why I was busting y'all ass on that fucking karting course. Don't do that. Don't do that. No, no. You guys were beating me

because of the helmets. But if we were no helmet and I'm just dorsal finning through that track, there's no way that y'all could win. I would have drafted off your win and pulled around. Dude, that fucking helmet you got on top of your shoulders. That's no way. You putting a helmet on? He took a sledgehammer to the top of the helmet just to fit it over Mark's ball. They didn't have a helmet big enough for me.

Hell yeah, bro. Yeah, dude. Why are you dapping that up? You think you've got a big head? Dude, my racing helmet size is huge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have that big a head, bro. I'm sorry to break it to you.

It's a racing helmet. You're being liberal with the term. It's a karting helmet. It's a go-kart helmet. But it works on a race car. Yeah, I'm sure it does. Well, a helmet works everywhere. No, because it's just a helmet.

You can take a bicycle helmet and put it on a race car. Don't say that. Don't say that. What are you talking about? A karting helmet doesn't have, like, It's just a helmet. You can take a bicycle helmet and put it on a race car. Don't say that. What are you talking about? A karting helmet doesn't have, like... It's not enabled for, like, electronics. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like, you could patch in a radio and shit

to my helmet. Yeah, exactly. Why? Well, you've got to call up to the race. So your wife can tell you to get off the track and come home. No, let me just explain... That's such a nerd.

Yeah, right. Go, go. Let me explain how this isn't... I mean, I know it's not cool but let me add the one layer that is especially not cool yeah yeah so it's an all carbon fiber helmet it's like for racing okay and like when i go out to the anytime that because you're asian and it's almost guaranteed there's going to be an accidental no no we're talking about filipinos don't crash

but who said I'm telling you did we get it but who said there's no way we're wrong but who said there's no way we're wrong okay go on

go on so you got your carbon fiber yeah yeah nah it's just funny cause I'll go out there and it's like

it's got no sponsors on it or anything because it's a carding helmet no sponsors on it or anything. Because it's a karting helmet. No, but. They get sponsored? Yeah, they get sponsored. Oh, my bad.

Costco, you know what I'm saying? You get a lot of stuff. No, dude, karting helmets, they look crazy. But it's just funny because I'm like telling on myself. Like I know the first few times I went out to the track, all the drivers are, they're all 18 also. Like I'm old as fuck. They're just looking at me like, who's this fucking old douchebag with this fucking expensive-ass helmet? Slow as shit. I'm like, look at my helmet.

They're like, you're slow. Stop talking. Bro, you own a production company and a very successful brand. You can sponsor yourself. Nah. That's goofy, man. Really? You need to sponsor one of the kids that's going to win.

That's the goofy part. Yeah, that is the goofy part. You're like, I don't want to look lame in front of these children. Yeah. They're 18, huh? Some of them. Do you ever, like, if they cut you off and shit afterwards, try to pull up? No, what's actually horrible is the guys that are, like, over 18, they, like, recognize me.

Like, the first few times I used to go to this track in Fontana they shut it down rest in peace but I would get out the cart and then some kids

like pull their helmets off and they'd be like Noel? I'm like and they're like yo you looking alright out there so they just

watched you after they watched you yeah yeah that's humiliating yeah I've done a couple races I did one where like i entered the 16 to 25 or like no 16 to 30 bracket yeah i think actually the minimum age of 16 doesn't matter there's like hella young kids on track and uh um i got sent off you know because you were going too slow or because you were too

dangerous i was actually no I was actually solid man only girl on track sent me off bro what do you mean send you off what does that mean

we were both going to a corner and she was like no she just like she I don't know what was going through her head she just like

drifted into me and she sent us both off now the people watching they're seeing a woman and an Asian going into a corner. Yeah.

Yeah. What do they think in that moment? They have no idea. Do they not? Because you might not be Asian. Do they have the exact idea? No.

Because both you guys went off? Yeah. Oh, weird. Yeah. But that's a coincidence. Yeah, super coincidence. Yeah, and everybody made it. Who said I'm Asian?

A woman and a... Oh, that's true. That's true. Who said it's a woman? They're like, it's a woman and a... That coincidence. Yeah, super coincidence. And everybody made it. Who said I'm Asian? The woman and the, oh, that's true. Yeah, that's true. And who said I'm Asian? They're like, it's a woman and a, that guy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Have you ever done any, what is it, open wheel? That's, I definitely want to drive something open wheel.

That's next. Yeah. I'd love to. It's expensive. It's like what the F cars are. Oh, F cars. Well, because there's, that would be like F3 or whatever, right? That would, right? That's the F cars are. Oh, the F cars. Well, because there's that would be like F3 or whatever, right? That would, right?

That's the F cars. I know about my racing shit. No, my... I thought you were saying that a different way. No, that's karting. No, but like you could do the

what is it, Formula 3. Oh, hell no, bro. You need like half a mil to race one season. Well, that's the thing. It's super expensive, but, and you have to pay to rent those cars. And if you fuck it up, that's on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a bunch of like old rich dudes basically will travel around. They'll do all the courses, and it's like a super flex.

Yeah. But it's kind of fire. Yeah. All your races are like recorded and everything. Dude, take us. Son, I wish take us son I wish yeah I wish my car worked

yeah yeah we could go driving yeah I'll probably do full size cars eventually you know I mean you could take

the Porsche on the track can't you yeah yeah what is that place no it's the Porsche Experience or something the only good one is in Atlanta

yeah there's a huge one Atlanta I shot I filmed something right near it yeah they have a track yeah that one's great at the fucking factory that's the factory Yeah. There's a huge one in Atlanta I shot. I filmed something right near it. Yeah. They have a track. Yeah, that one's great.

At the fucking, and that's the factory. No, no, it's just like an experience center that they have. It is nuts. And basically you get to pick your car and then take it on the track and then run it. Oh, that's awesome. And it's a great way to sell cars because they'll allow you to basically try their new shit in the best way possible. It's the best way to drive a vehicle ever. Yeah.

So you're ripping this fucking Cayenne or McCann or whatever the fuck around the track. You're like, I think I do need this for my family.

Yeah, yeah. It doesn't mean I should go to Long Island. That's how you get dads to buy like a little SUV for the family. Yeah. You know,

you have to just send them around the fucking race track. Yeah. It's really all it takes. They got one in LA though, I thought. It's ass. Really? Yeah. Why, the track is race track. Yeah. It's really all it takes. They got one in L.A., though, I thought. It's ass. Really?

Yeah. Why, the track is just small? Yeah, it's just small. There's a lot of other tracks, though, out there you can take. There's Buttonwillow. You got to drive out of L.A. to get to them. Yeah, of course. The only full-size, like, semi-full-size car I've driven, you should pull this up.

It's called a Legend car. I've done one test drive in it. A Mercedes? No. Oh, one of these things these things dude this shit is like what you could fit one of these on the set oh they're little they're small and they have like a motorcycle uh transmission and they're crazy as fuck to drive because you can you can set these up for pavement or dirt okay and when i it, it had a mesh for dirt.

So you're kind of like looking through a fence while you drive. So you get a lot of this trying to drive by feel. You're just kind of like, I think the corner's there. I'm going to put it in. And okay, I felt the tire touch. You're kind of like— Are you supposed to, what is it called, drift into the corners? Not necessarily.

With something like this you just may naturally because there's no there's nothing compressing the car to the ground like a formula car so sorry

all the people listening probably think this is so boring nah this is hard nah dude look at how that's a full size human yeah holy shit

that's just so I actually debated buying one of these that'd be fun to soup up yeah you can get them race ready for like,

probably like 20 grand. How much does it cost to go to the track? Pretty expensive. What is like a one time? Probably spend like 1500 bucks. Wow.

Wow. So way more expensive than like golf at a legit course. Yeah. So it's 1500 every time you go. So the people that are doing it

as like their Sunday activity, that's, you gotta have a real fucking money. You have to have a lot of money, dude. It's a rich guy sport for sure you go. So the people that are doing it as like their Sunday activity, you've got to have a real fucking money. You have to have a lot of money, dude. It's a rich guy sport for sure. That's why I like karting because you can get the same experience, but it's not as expensive.

Way cheaper. Yeah. No, it's definitely still expensive, like relative. You're still going to drop like at least $200 in fuel. Yeah. And on a race day, depending on who you are, you might get a new set of tires every race. So it's like two, 300 bucks. So usually 2k for the day. So you're burning through equipment,

everything. You got to get a sponsor, dog. You got to put out the bat signal. Oh, Super 73 gave me some money. Let's go. But I've, you know, I had to like kind of temper that for a bit. When I get back off tour, I want to do some racing. Yeah, dude. Yeah. You got to get a full race team. That's the goal. And just lose money. Yeah. Don't they all?

And then you die. And then that's an awesome life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the game, right? 26-year-old being like, yeah, dude, just throw all your money away.

It's fine. That's awesome. And then let me come watch because that sounds fun. Let me come watch. For sure. Damn. Yeah.

Yeah, I got to... Yeah, it'd be crazy to drive a Formula One car. There are programs. You could do it. I mean, it must be crazy expensive. These ones, no, because they're like...

I mean, it's expensive, but for what you get, I think it'd be worth because the first day, they'll let you drive a car that's kind of fast. Then they'll scale you up on the second day, and then the third day, they'll let you drive a car that's kind of fast. Then they'll scale you up on the second day. And then the third day, they'll let you drive a Formula car.

You'll do one warm-up lap, and you're only allowed three to five actual laps in the Formula car. Have you done that racing school? It's called Skip— Skip Barber? Skip Barber. Yeah, yeah. But maybe I will eventually, yeah. It's legit, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is. That was a wedding gift my wife and I got. Oh, yeah. But maybe I will eventually, yeah. It's legit, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. That was a wedding gift my wife and I got. Oh, bro. Not yet, but my wife grew up partying in Santa Barbara. No shot. Yeah. She had the fastest time for a woman on the course.

Yeah, bro. Because her stepdad was racing, so he was like, I think you'd like this. And she's super competitive, so she was about the... She knows how to race? Yeah, yeah. She's never taken you? No. Did she get ran off the track by an ethnically ambiguous guy? like this and she's super competitive so she was about the she knows how to race yeah yeah she's never taken you no did she get ran off the track

by an ethnic because you might have some explanation so she crashed me up it might be your wife crashed me up it might be wow

here you are dogging on women drivers I've experienced it oh my god no she always she always drives when we go places it's great

that's great and I gotta like front like I don't like it, but I love it. You're fucking shotgun pretty princess? I am shotgun pretty princess all day. I would love to do that. I'm on Instagram. It is the best.

Yo, I have a random question. Do you know anything about cortisone shots? Not saying that Filipinos are nurses or anything, but like. I know people get them. I got one. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Why, you got eczema? No. What? No, I got shoulder pain. Oh. Yeah, it's

for like muscle pain. Oh, you're talking about the cream. No. Sometimes people get them to get shots because their eczema's so bad. Oh, really? Yeah. I wouldn't know, though. But I'm worried. I wouldn't know. Maybe that's why he doesn't have eczema. It's all this cortisone. Yeah, exactly. No, I got cortisone, and now everybody was telling me that I,

okay, the doctor is like, yeah, let's do it. It'll reduce the inflammation. And now people are telling me, don't do that. It's horrible. It just kind of like numbs you to what's going on in there. You can get one, then you've got to rehab while you're doing it. Otherwise, it's just going to keep, it's not going to fix the muscles. It's going to reduce the pain.

But you've got to do the rehab and shit. Yeah. What's your shoulder vein? I don't know. I'm not sure. They said I have like a little labrum tear, but they also said

most people my age have a little labrum tear. But I think it's just like just wear and tear from life. Do you work out? I mean, you didn't have to say it. That's kind of a condescending way.

There's no chance I did. I'm just asking. You said it like, do you even work out? I mean, in this city, I can understand not wanting to. Wait, why?

It's good food. I'll work it off when I walk around. Yeah. That's a good point. Decent save. It was a decent save. It was a decent save. What?

It's fucking cold? That burns calories? No, I just mean like if I got up and it's fucking brick and there's some warm ass ramen two blocks away. Or there's a gym. But I can choose the gym or like ramen. No, I feel you. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just think I would be inclined. Yeah. Fuck working out. I mean, yes, fuck working out. But I think I did. I think it's from boxing. But I'm worried that I might. You box.

I hit the mitts. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Boxing days are over. You box for hella long though. So you put a lot of wear and tear on your labrum and shoulders

that's what I think it's a lot of mileage on those shoulders yeah but fuck how many years did you box started when I was maybe like 20 okay

yeah so just off and on since then hell yeah yeah yeah yeah why you box you box I was like training for like a year and a half

I enjoy it but then it just became like actually boxing you'll see a lot of F1 drivers like hit the pads. They're horrible at it. They're terrible. Everybody is. Everyone is.

But yeah. But specifically them, I'll see them train and they'll post those clips. I'm like, look, you got all the sponsors. You don't need to thirst with this. You don't have to thirst trap with this. It's looking bad out here. It's never enough. Yeah.

But no, yeah, I did that. But then I was carding a lot and I was just beating on my ribs. And you use the same muscle groups. So when I go to like hit the pads, I was just wasting. Too much. Yeah.

Would you do one of these? I know you were saying earlier you want some of this internet smoke. Oh, hell no, man. Come on, bro. I don't think I'm built for fighting. Come on, bro. You are built for fighting.

No, I don't think so. You are built for fighting, bro. Dude, I got like negative three bone density. What's your street record? Do you have a street record? No, I had to be funny, man. Not a hell of a run.

Really? A lot of my friends growing up, they fought a ton. Yeah. But you just kind of refereed? No, I would just stand back there

and be like, fuck him up. You were hyping. Yeah, definitely hyping. Instigating step back. I know that move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'sping. Instigating step back. I know that move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's smart.

What if it's 20 million? Would you fight Saul Poppy? Fuck no, dude. 20 million? No, man. You wouldn't just get knocked out for 20 million? A racing team? You get to race for the rest of your life?

I get to race one season off of 20 million. That's a great year, bro. That's a great season. It is a good year. I could just kill myself after. That's it. Done. You assume you'd make it through the season.

This is true, yeah. I think that's $20 million. I think that's money well spent, bro. Yeah. I mean, I guess in that scenario where you know you're going to lose, I guess it's not really that big of a deal. You had to go down early. Who cares?

Yeah. Yeah. You take one liver shot and you're just like. That's it. Oh, if it's a liver shot, I'll take that. That's what I'm saying, yeah. You worried one liver shot and you're just like. That's it. Oh, if it's a liver shot, I'll take that. That's what I'm saying, yeah. You worried about fucking this up. Man, I don't want to take head trauma.

Yeah. I don't want to get that 20 million and wake up and be like, babe, do we live in Ohio? Have you had a concussion before? I think I've had one. I don't really know. Yeah. This is actually a great story. I like try to like, I try to jump my bike i went off it

i hit the pavement wasn't wearing a helmet so i'm pretty sure ow i wasn't out i like i got up from it i remember going inside and i went to my mom and i said i think i have internal bleeding i'm scared and then she kind of laughs and she said you ain't got internal bleeding a few days later she goes she think you're Tom Cruise. That's what you get for trying to do your own stunts. I was like, fuck, that's funny. But that's funny. They never took me in.

She just put Vicks VapoRub on it. No, not even, man. She's like, just eat a little. Play some video games. Forget about it. You did forget about it. So in a way, I guess she's right. Yeah.

Would she ever go, Joseph? Play some video games. Forget about it. You did forget about it. So in a way, I guess she's right. Yeah. Yeah. Would she ever go, Joseph? Joseph? There's no one in my family named Joseph, so. I mean, he's drinking the fuck out of that water. He's inhaling vapor, dog. You ever got arrested?

Never? Pull pulled over for speeding nothing like that pulled over a ton you get out of the ticket cell yeah how cooperate what

come on bro what come on what nah fuck they don't cooperate right that's it, right?

Oh, my God. They don't cooperate. Oh, my God. No, that's... Is that what you're trying to say? No, I said it more like this. Like, I just was scared. You're saying Puerto Ricans don't cooperate?

Yeah, what is it about Puerto Ricans that just they don't cooperate with authority? What is it? I haven't lived in New York long enough to know, so... Oh, this is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets out of it well. He always gets out of it well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just wiggles out every fucking time. Sli gets out of it well. Yeah, yeah. Just wiggles out. Yeah, yeah. Every fucking time. Slipping and weaving, though. Good head movement. Okay, listen. Damn it.

No, now this is just going to get clipped like crazy. Cooperate, Noel. Cooperate. You know what's crazy? Every time I get pulled over, first question, or second question. You in a gang? No. Every time. Really? Every time. Yeah. And, first question, or second question, you in a gang? No. Every time.

Really? Every time, yeah. I mean, you are, though, so it kind of makes sense. Yeah. Tiny meat. Do you say that? Oh, yeah, you ever go on Tiny Meat? Let's go.

Do you say that? No. Never? Now I drive a decent car, so I don't get pulled over as much. Yeah. Wait a minute. Let me put that together. When you had the Honda Civic.

Yeah. You had the Civic until the Porsche? No, no, no. Because me put that together. When you had the Honda Civic. You had the Civic until the Porsche? No, no, no. Because that's 20 years. I mean, I held on to it, but no, I wasn't driving it all the time until the Porsche. That makes sense. The nicer car, they'll—but there's like a level, right? It's the opposite for the black folks.

Yeah, if you're driving a really nice car, are they going to go—are they going to pull you over more? Depends. If it's fishbowl and stock rims, you're good. What does fishbowl mean? Like you can see through the mirrors or the windows. Ah, if you've got the tents too crazy, it's like asking for it. So what's the advantage of going crazy low on the tents? It's awesome.

It looks fun. I guess it looks better, but like the inconvenience that comes with getting pulled over all the fucking time. Yeah, usually those people aren't making the smarts. I mean, in L.A., you get away with it, though. Yeah, they're not making decisions for the future. Damn. I can say that away with it, though. Yeah, they're not thinking decisions for the future. Those people. I can say that. I can say that.

The Puerto Ricans are racist, though. You want to game them? That's crazy, man. Jeez. That was really crazy what you did right there, man. Can you still tell the guys

black with the dark tint? Because maybe they're just, you know, they don't like low tint. Well, no, because they can see their Instagram through the...

They can see him browsing. He got a Tesla for that exact reason. That was good. He's got double brows. He's on YouTube. He's on the big screen. He's on TikTok on the big screen. Yeah, dude.

Alex is like, damn. Tiny meat gang clips, baby. Bro, this is the corniest thing maybe I ever did. Every time I got pulled over as a kid, tiny meat gang clips baby bro I was the this is the corniest thing maybe I ever did every time I got pulled over as a kid I was so afraid of cops

like getting mad at me or like getting shot or some shit I would be like Mark how's your dad I'd be like dad why are you here

I would literally take the keys out and put them on the roof put them on the roof every time I got pulled over what that's like a your parents never told you that

wow dude you ain't said shit the whole time you just add live mark on him on the roof. Every time I got pulled over. What? I know. That's like a... Your parents never told you that? Wow, dude. You ain't said shit the whole time. You just Adley Mark on the roof. On the roof. Break down this roof, dude. Alright, ready? I get pulled over. I'm in the Chrysler 300, so obviously they're pulling me over for ethnic reasons. And then I would...

My dad got the car. Every time I would drive it, black dudes would pull up and they'd be like, oh my god. They'd black dudes would pull up, and they'd be like, oh, my God. They'd be terrified. Every time. And they'd be like, did you steal this car? No, but I would get pulled over, all the windows down, take the keys out, keys on the roof, hands on the wheel. And then the cop would pull up and be like, what are you doing?

And I'm like, just complying. And he'd be like, all right, well, just turn your lights on. I was like, yes, sir. And then I'd wait for him to go back to the car, start it back up. Protocol. Never got shot.

And your dad told you to do that? Your dad told you to do that as well? It's so you don't run. You put the keys on the roof and then they know you're not going to fuck around. Keep your hands on the wheel and then get out of that.

All the windows down. You learned that? No. No, you got to know cops to know that. You got to know white cops to know that. They probably didn't tell you because they didn't care who you knew that died. But white cops will tell you that shit.

And then he walks up on you being like, put the windows down and hands on a wheel. But not the whole key on the top. That's extra. You just turn it off. Do extra. Do extra. For us. Do extra.

They don't pull me over now. I learned the keys on the dash later. Oh, really? Yeah. But they can't see that, though. I've never taken the key out. Yeah. Have you ever been pulled over?

I've never taken it. I got pulled over doing 95. In what? In a 95. Okay. Which is unfair. Yeah, I was in Germany.

No, I got pulled over doing 95. I was on the 101 or some shit. I was driving up to San Francisco from Santa Barbara. Where was it? I was arguing with my brother, Toyota Corolla, and I was on like the 101 or some shit. I was driving up to San Francisco from Santa Barbara. Where was it?

I was arguing with my brother, Togedokarola, and I was so angry. I was driving fast. I wasn't even trying to drive fast to be dangerous. I was just fighting with him. Yeah. And the dude followed me for minutes. He's like, I've been following you for five. I didn't notice because I was just fighting with my brother on the phone.

And then I think he let me go because he didn't want to do the paperwork for an out-of-state license. I had a New York license. Oh, really? They're more willing, I figured, to do it because they know you're not going to show up for the court appearance to contest a ticket. But then they wouldn't get the money anyway, right? No, you just pay. Because you're not, you only show up if you're like, I don't think this is a real ticket or a rightful ticket.

I assume that's why I was, but maybe it was just being white, but he didn't fucking, he didn't give me a ticket at all. Listen, Andrew, it's a lot of paperwork. Just slow down. My whole life, I've been chalking up white privilege to paperwork. Isn't that fun? What a crazy thing. You know how much more paperwork it is when they kill a black guy?

That's crazy. A lot of paperwork involved. The cops are so nice to me, but I thought it was because they didn't want to do the paperwork. You really thought that, too. Isn't that nuts? You honestly thought that. That is so stupid. I thought it was the paperwork.

I was like, yo, you know how much paperwork you got to do for New York? They don't follow me around the store because they're so lazy. You know what I mean? Yeah. They just want to sit there. They don't want to follow me. Bro, paperwork, because cops hate paperwork if you watch any cop shows. They hate that.

Yeah. They hate paperwork. This guy is so stupid. But in reality, it's just that I'm white. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay, listen.

Noel, you have a tour. I do have a tour. That's still cooking right now. Can you tell us where we can go see you? That's where I'm going to be like, can you do one joke so anyone has reason to go see you? No, no. Where do we got? Noel?

Yeah. Yeah. Come buy a ticket. Noellemillerlive.com. I got, damn. I got like 30 some more dates in the States. Amazing. And then I got a bunch in Europe.

Oh, where you doing in Europe? I got two sold out in Amsterdam. Let's go. Let's go. It's a whole bunch, man. Read them off. Yeah, you got the whole shit right here. Bro, go. Let's go. It's a whole bunch, man. Read them off. Yeah, you got the whole shit right here. I'm doing Dublin.

Nice. Helsinki. Do that car bomb shit there. Oslo. I'm doing Stockholm, Birmingham, London, Sheffield, Glasgow, Manchester, Newcastle. I'm going to Belgium. I'm doing Berlin, Copenhagen. I'm going to end it in Lisbon.

I don't know what that's going to be like. That's going to be fire. And a casino show, bro. And Orlando, dude. Big casino show. Holy fuck. No'm going to end it in Lisbon. I don't know what that's going to be like. That's going to be fire. And Orlando, dude. Big casino show. Holy fuck. No, no, no, no, no. It's a big expat city now. So a lot of English people who want to retire.

Oh, okay. Or a lot of they just go to Lisbon because it's cheaper. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I think you'll have a lot of British people. Old British people? That sounds fun. I don't know if they're old, but there's also a big work-from-home community, so a lot of Americans went out there.

They're super welcoming. One of my worst bombs ever was for a bunch of old expat British people in Singapore. He saw it. Yeah. It was a fucking nightmare.

Yeah. So just be ready to hate them. Yeah, that's all right. But at least it's not like it's the end of your tour. You know what I mean? It's not like it's the last show I'll do.

They weren't coming out to see you. They weren't coming out to see us. That's true. We crashed the comedy. Yeah, we crashed the club. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway,, we crashed the club. That's fair.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so go check out Noel. Make sure you watch all of his stuff, obviously, but go check out the tour and then convince him to put some standout out in the near future. Yeah.

No, I will. Yeah. Just, you know, don't put too much stock in the one clip that's out there. Yeah. Yeah, man.