Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - On Your Back & Wet Up

Episode Date: October 1, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, Kaz and Alexx discuss Andrew's recent trip to Australia, Trans women in sports, Shaq and Damian Lillard diss tracks, Vontaze Burfict suspended for brutal hit, Baker Mayfield and Odell Beckham and much more. Indulge!!! Want to hear an extra episode every week? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2

What's up everybody welcome to flagrant to no easy buckets analysis by assholes water cooler commentary for your sports needs My name is Andrew Schultz. I'm here with Akash Singh. Yep. Yep real-life Kaz. We got Alex media booth I don't know where the fuck Eden is Do you know where he is? Did we get here about that in at all? No reaction Probably family stuff. Yeah Do you know where he is? Did we hear about Ed in at all? No reaction I don't know Probably family stuff Yeah I hope he's

Alright Ed in We're thinking about you We're back baby We're back We're back from Australia Yeah Ed's all here almost

It's almost back We had an amazing trip in Australia man I gotta thank Verve Promotions For bringing us out there. We did I don't know how many fucking shows we did, man. Why are you smiling already?

Look like you had a show every fucking night. She's gonna blow me up soon. I was about to actually. I was fucking sick of Australia by the time we got here. We gotta shout out Verve Promotions first. You know what I mean? I get it. I'm gonna let this man do his thing. I was just like, ready to go. We got to shout out Verb Promotions first. You know what I mean? I get it. I'm going to let this man do his thing. No, you know,

I was just like, ready to go. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I get it. I thought you'd be in Australia, though. No, I was loving it in the beginning

and then I was like, all right, it's enough of... There's a lot of full-figured white women out there. Country Americans with weird-ass accents.

That's really what it is. We'll get into it. But thank you so much for having us out. Everybody who came out to the shows, man. We sold out all the shows That's so dope

It was unbelievable man We were adding shows Like it's crazy to be Oh yeah That far away From You know Where you think your base is

And Be able to Just fucking kill it out there So It was It was a lot of fun Now we can get into Talking shit about Australia

So Alex was ready to go Towards the end. But I don't even think you were into it until like five days in. Nah, I was into it. Nah. I was just jet lagged, but I was into it. Bro, I was miserable, dude.

Really? I was absolutely miserable for like the first four or five days. I mean, your body clock's all fucked up. It's the exact opposite, right? I mean, when I went to Japan, it did not fuck with me like that. Mark, here's the thing that I think fucked up. So, two things. You got to set your expectations for Australia.

Australia is the closest place to America, culturally, that I've ever been. It is closer than Canada. Okay. Interesting. Canada, you feel like you closer than Canada. Okay. Interesting. Canada, you feel like you're in Canada when you're there. I've never been in Canada where, like, interacting with the people and stuff where I was like, oh, this is just, like, another state.

They have their own thing. Australia is very similar. Very Western. It's West, but specifically American. They got the whole cowboy thing. They're, like, rebellious. You know what I mean? Their history is kind of that.

They were, like, a prison colony. I'm just history is Is kind of that They were like a prison colony But then they kind of I'm just thinking about Fucking Crocodile Dundee Motherfuckers And he's Crocodile Dundee That's fucking no different Than the Swamp Whites

What were they called Cajuns No The Duck Dynasty There you go We got those people You know what I mean Like

It's like What The Swamp Whites What do you call it Cajuns They are Swamp Whites is great. What do you call it, Cajuns? They are Swamp Whites. Cajuns are Swamp Whites? What do they call, there's a show called Swamp Things or something like that. Swamp Things was about like a monster.

Swamp Things was a superhero, right? No, he was a monster, I think. Swamp People. Superhero, that's fucking disgusting. Anyway. That's disgusting. Who gives a fuck? They're just running out of shit.

So here's the thing. So you go, you fly. It's like 30 hours of travel to get there, right? Because you can't fly direct. You have to either stop. We slept in Hong Kong, right? And we had some fun in Hong Kong. How long?

We were there for like three hours But we bought those masks that they wear The surgical masks? Yeah, the surgical masks, the SARS masks And we were just running around the airport in the SARS masks It was pretty sick And then we go there So we're traveling for 30 hours

And we started in this town called Adelaide Now Adelaide is like This shitty fucking town I'm going toelaide is like this shitty fucking town. I'm going to be honest. It's a shitty fucking town, okay? I love performing stand-up in shitty towns because they appreciate it and they really want it, but it is a fucking shitty town.

Mark said it best. He goes, I would rather fly into the Twin Towers than fly into Adelaide. Somebody beat him to it. Right? So we start in Adelaide, and i think there's a little letdown there because you travel so far yeah and you want this different experience because you're traveling so far like when i traveled 16 hours to go japan it was a different world so you got the plane so justified it yeah everybody looks Yeah. Everybody looks different. Exactly. You're inside a Nintendo system once you land in Japan.

Boom! You're there. It's all Japanese people. When we got off the plane in Australia, everybody spoke English, obviously. But it's like we could have been in Kansas. Yeah. No difference. No difference.

Okay. Did you feel any different? No, not at all. Nothing at all. So Australia just feels like the Midwest of the Pacific, I guess, or whatever it's called. It's an odd place. So we'll get there. So Adelaide was whatever.

Show was cool. I mean, we're like destroyed. We have zero energy. Nobody's even talking to each other. We're not even having fun. It was tough. Before I even went on stage, I was like backside.

I had my head down on something. A guy came up to me to take a picture. I was backstage. And he goes, hey, what's up? And he sees that I'm just like barely holding together. He's like, all right, I'm gonna let you do your thing.

He didn't even ask for the fucking picture, right? So we get through that. Next time we go to Perth. Perth way better. Yeah. Perth was good. Perth we surfed.

Okay. All of us got in the water. We were doing some skateboarding. It's right on the beach. I was about to say, you can skateboard? Hey, we're doing skateboarding. You surf, though. I feel like surfing is easier than skateboarding, isn't it?

The stakes are lower. Yeah, it's water, skateboard, you are wiped out, that's bad. And Mark tried to flex heavy and bust his ass and Alex caught the whole thing. It was amazing. I mean, we were just die laughing. Perth, beautiful city, right on the it was We were just dying laughing Perth beautiful Beautiful city

Right on the water But what's fascinating About Perth is It's all the way On the other side of the country No one even lives in Australia Australia's the size of America There's 25 million people

In the whole country Yeah Yeah I didn't know It was the size of America But I know Nobody lives there Same size As America

25 million How many people live in Texas Akash? Probably 30. It's 300 million in America. 380 million. Something crazy. It's like 8% of the population.

That's crazy. That was amazing math. That you did right there. Like 10% I'd be like, that's awesome. But to drop it down to a single digit, like it caught me in a wave. That was amazing.

Yeah, we're going to lose. We're going to get Indians on our side so we can fight these fucking charred geeks. Where's Shane Gillis when you need him? We don't like him either. Whenever y'all want to go, we're ready. We were joking around because, you know, they have those Hong Kong protests

where they're, like, killing people and they have all those lasers going around. So we were all fucking around like, dude, we're here for the EDM festival. Is that what's going on down there? So we're in Perth. Way better, way nicer city. We're starting to feel some vibes. Beautiful fucking theater that we performed at.

It was gorgeous. Free of social. Fun show. Starting to feel a little bit better. show um starting to feel a little bit better the thing about perth is so interesting though is it's cheaper in australia to fly from sydney or melbourne or one of the main cities to bali or thailand than is to fly to perth in their own country do you have to take you always have to go to sydney or one like melbourne is it always layover? Oh oh When you're in the country? Yeah No no no Because Sydney and Melbourne Imagine like

Sydney's like I think North Carolina Okay And then Melbourne Is probably like Florida Okay And then there's Perth is probably like San Diego

Okay Okay So much of it is uninhabited Just distance Yeah But most people would be like Well I'm not gonna go to that place right here I'll just go to Bali

For even cheaper Yeah okay So it's super isolated Okay even within their own country. Like we were saying when we were there, they're perfectly set up for when the U.S. and China go through nuclear war and we kill each other off. That's where we're going. Dude, think about it. Same exact space. Island, same space.

Yeah. All the infrastructure there, right? Like natural minerals. They're set up nice.'s go now no predators or nothing they got they got animals they got all their own food it's like it's like they've been waiting in the cut 200 years from now australia will be the spot if you think i'll be inviting to us but hey come on in is that how it goes i don't know you did a canadian accent yes come on all right mate we got plenty of space all right there it is that's the australian so

so we're in australia perth was interesting but it was kind of like a surf town we go to brisbane which is their miami feels just like miami okay we're like waiting to find this australian experience right because everything we're finding Was so American It was very American And they'll even admit They'll be like Yeah it's kind of similar You know And we even went to Sydney

Which was beautiful And Melbourne Which was beautiful But we learned Pretty We learned a few days in That the experience of Australia Is not the fucking art

That you see Or like the music Or that kind of shit Like that You know what I mean Like when you're like Thinking about They got no cultural shit like that like high culture keep going out like keep going i'm a white

ass fucking jungle ass yes dirt fucking culture you know i mean we're playing with kangaroos we got fucking wrestling with crocodiles they're rednecks so they're rednecks but right so think about but the beauty of it is that, like, it's like Southern culture. Like, this is a knife. Like, if a country dude says that shit, I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah, because there's, like. Y'all motherfuckers are crazy white people. I'm good.

That's the thing, because there was, like, a weird, you know, well, there's, like, a fucked up, like, slavery history for, you know, black people and white people in America, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But imagine there wasn't that. Yeah. Any black people in Australia, outside the aboriginals,originals, the black people, like, move there. That's a pretty big outside, though. You just named it pretty big. I think the Aboriginals got fucked.

No, no, no, no, no, no. They got bodied. Like, they got bodied. Like, that's not even a question. But, like, you don't even see them. Yeah, they're like our Aboriginals. Yeah, they're our Aboriginals, right? So, like, you don't see Native Americans.

Right. So it's kind of like out of the... Got it, got it, got it. Okay, yeah. And so the't see Native Americans. Right. So it's kind of like out of the- Got it. Got it. Got it. Okay. Yeah. And so the thing is, it was crazy. You're not allowed to joke around about them at all. Yeah. You got to explain aboriginals because I don't think everybody-

Yeah. I'm still trying to process it. I'm like, let's just say the Native American analogy. I was like, okay, I guess they're- Okay. So aboriginals are their Native Americans. Okay. Okay?

But they're black. They're blackish. They're kind of Indian. They're like Ben Simmons? No, they're like, they look like your people. They're like a mix between Indian and Trinidadian.

Oh, you saw one. Yeah, we saw one. We saw a few. We spotted one. But you see more of kangaroos. Oh, kangaroos! Kangaroos! Kangaroos by far.

And weirdly enough, and I'm getting a lot of trouble for saying this, but they were doing similar shit like when you see them explain how they're doing similar shit just kind of sitting on the grass hanging out good leaping ability

it was very like the claws are a little unkempt nice claws there was a little baby inside she had a pouch bro she had a fupa and there was a full fucking aboriginal baby in that shit just pick up a fupa that's what girls fupas really are you ever try to climb in a fat bitch's belly button that's about so so they were like you know people told Sure. So they were like, you know, people told us even before they were like,

you know, that's the group you do not talk about, blah, blah, blah. Obviously. Yeah. I'm opening. I'm opening.

Of course. That's how you do it. You gotta stay on brand. I gotta stay on brand. So what I, I mean, I can tell you a little bit, we'll post the joke

on Yonsei Says, but whenever you see them, it's kind of odd. They're just like, they're like sitting in parks and relaxing, like just sitting on the grass, right? Kangaroo face. Kangaroo face, right? It's kind of odd they're just like they're like sitting in parks and relaxing like just sitting on the grass right

kangaroo face kangaroos right it's kind of kangarooish so kangaroos would just be in the wild out there like no no no no they're like parks

oh okay but the aboriginals would be in the wild and and uh and they'd be kangaroos and boxes and jigs

I feel super ignorant because I'm like fuck if anybody asks me about Africa it's like oh there's just lions hanging around there I'm like no motherfuckers they have their areas Africa, it's like, oh, there's just lions hanging around there? I'm like, no, motherfucker. They have their areas for fucking the edibles and shit.

That's why it's a reasonable question, right? Got it, okay. So we always saw them. They'd just be sitting in these fucking, you know, in the parks on the grass and shit like that. And so the joke I had, I said, it's like, listen, I didn't know what the fucking aboriginal was, right?

I've been walking around Australia the last week like, man, black people here love picnics. And then so what they do is they sit in the grass and they'll just drink wine. And then people kept telling me about how like it was this horrible sordid past. It's been so hard to get them to assimilate into white culture. And I'm like, they're relaxing on a park drinking wine it's like mission accomplished that's all that's going on over there that's what we love to do i think they figured this white shit out really well jesus christ so whatever i have a little

couple of more tags native american you just they just have their little plot of land and they just be getting drunk all the time. That's the same shit we did to Amir. Take that. Time. So it is what it is. So they were like,

do not talk, but we went after it, obviously, laid in, it was fun. But we learned from where they're, that the cultural experience that you have in

Australia is not the fuck, like you said, the, what is it called? Elitist culture? Like the high class culture. High class culture.

It's not like going to a Van Gogh museum or like the corny shit we do when we go to Europe. The people are the culture. Yeah. And those fucking rednecks, they have this amazing slang. Everything is short for something else. They can speak completely English that we have no clue how it is. And that's what you gotta dig into You just gotta hang out with them

As a people That's what they have to offer And then Food Food is eh Okay And matter of fact They don't even have waiters

Oh god You just go and get your food yourself Son The worst That alone Makes it I couldn't I couldn't live there

And even though I really like the country There's no waiters Cause there's no tipping Shit is like Nando's You ever been to Nando's in England Where you go You really like the country, there's no waiters because there's no tipping. Shit is like Nando's. You ever been to Nando's in England? Where you go to the counter? Yeah, it's exactly. That bugged me out, dude.

Son, we would go to the counter. I put this order in and then they'd give me a stick with a number on top and they'd like, put that on your table. And I'm like, all right,

why don't you take this and then you bring my food when you're, why am I involved in this whole process at all? Okay? This, they, you can't even order a drink without going back up to the bar.

This is no tipping. We need to keep tipping. Right. 100%. Very important. The point is, we had a guy with us, this guy, Zach, who's so fucking funny. No, I'm not actually, I'm not against the no waiters thing. You wouldn't like that shit, son. It's like less steps to like your food fucked with, probably.

You don't have to be nice to motherfuckers. You don't got to tip. They'll probably spit in your food if you say some wild shit. I sound like a black boy tipping. I'm not against it. I'll just do all the work myself. Just give me the apron. Fuck it.

Just fucking ring the bell when the food's ready. I'll go get it. Stay home Get a girlfriend That's what you're describing Exactly I'm like Oh that's what that is

No wonder I like Being home with my girl so much That was great So It was Dude this guy was telling us These fucking slang things This is our

I mean this is my favorite It's more than shrimp on the bobbies Son Son They don't even have that They don't have shrimp on the barbies. I was tight. They don't even call shrimp.

That's what I was going for. What do people call shrimp in that part of the world? Guppies? I don't know. Prawns. Prawns. You're right about that. Have you ever heard an Indian call anything shrimp?

They're like bigger. No. Or thighs. Yeah, but they don't even eat that shit. Really? So shrimp on the barbie was this marketing campaign. Who the fuck's teaching us in Australia? So this is the genius of Australia.

Some people in Australia realize what was their culture to give the world. Like what was the most successful Australian thing ever? Outback Steakhouse. Crocodile Dundee. Crocodile Dundee. Right? And what was good about Crocodile Dundee? Wild Australian.

Yeah. With ways of saying shit funny. Yeah. That's all it was. It was just showing the people, right? Yeah. He's like their mascot. He's the fucking mascot, right?

Him and Ben Simmons. Poor Ben. And Iggy Azalea. They've really fallen off since Crocodile. Is he the black face of Australia? Who? Ben Simmons? Crocodile Dundee.

Don't they love that? Ben Simmons! Oh, God. I was like, what? My bad, bro. I missed him. I caught it back. I had to lean back for it.

You can't nothing, son. Got it. Sorry. Yes. Blackface of Australia. Crocodile Dundee. You got it. That's racist, bro.

That was racist, Kaz. Alex, can you step up and check Kaz, bro? Jesus Christ. So insensitive, bro. I like that. That's racist, bro. That was racist, Kaz. Alex, can you step up and check Kaz, bro? Jesus Christ. So insensitive. I thought he meant literally like all the black face.

So insensitive. I thought black face. I thought it meant like the face of black, whatever. No. If there is a black face, it's going to be

an aboriginal one. It's not going to be Ben Simmons. There aren't any, so there's no black face. Oh, they're there. Son, they are there, bro. Ben sits in the sun for a little bit.

He's Akash. You think? Yeah. He's lighter than Akash. Bro, is that original to sit in the sun? Nothing, bro. Nothing. That's all they do is sit in the sun.

Dude, one looked at me. I distinctly remember it to this day. To this day. Four days. Like four days. I see a lot of people bro I've seen a lot of people bro But I distinctly remember

This guy looking at me bro Dude it was like Us Remember the movie Us When you found your tethered Yes I think that's what Aboriginals are

I think they're the tethered bro I locked eyes With this motherfucker, dude, and he was kind of smiling and looking at me. I swear to God on my life, dog. I swear to God on my fucking life. If he would have gotten up off the grass and even walked towards me,

I would have ran full speed in any direction away. I swear to God, I've never been more afraid of my fucking entire life. The guy was just sitting on the grass drinking wine and he just locks eyes and starts to smile and dog

I would have thrown Alex in front of a bus to save myself from that aboriginal you remember that? yeah holy shit anyway we had a great one

the best slang that we learned there was this is what you say to your girl when you're ready to fuck you go on your back and wet up.

I like that style, yo. Fuck. And then he goes, no extra shit straight to business, yo. I'm not coming over there till you're sizzling at the slit. Oh, my God. Sizzling at the Sizzling at the slit Bro I like it

I like their slang Their slang is dope Their slang is ill right What's your favorite one Al? The big Australian girl saying nigga Oh That's right What?

Cass you'll love this Explain this I love this Some good International racism So It's my favorite topic We went out to dinner After a show You'll love this. Explain this. I love this. Some good international racism. It's my favorite topic. We went out to dinner after a show. And two white girls joined us.

Obviously. Procured by Alex Media. Clearly. Stop. Stop doing that. Stop doing that. You didn't procure them? No.

Who procured them? They were just fans from the show. And how'd they get to dinner? I'm not even going to bully you on that one. You're not going to put it on me. Mark got a shorty. Mark got a shorty. Someone got it.

Mike got it. It's just fans hung out after the show. Fans hung out after the show. They hung out after the show. Fans hung out after the show. They're just screaming the N-word at dinner. Fans hung out after the show. That's it. All right. Fans hung out after the show. Em out after the show At dinner They hung out at dinner Fans hung out after the show They're just screaming the N-word at dinner Fans hung out after the show That's it

Alright fans hung out after the show Embrace that singleness bro Yeah real talk But it was just fans You didn't enjoy it for all of us Nah Fans That's interesting you let them stay

Even after they screamed the N-word Alex be getting so upset Alex be getting caught up in this shit Yo stop it And be so upset At least for no reason I don't see why Now you getting thrown under the bus

I don't see why you fight I don't see why you fight it getting thrown under the bus. I don't see why you fight it, yo. You off camera, G. He was FaceTiming some girl, right? I don't even know he's FaceTiming, right? So Alex FaceTimed this girl, right? Alex hasn't slept in 24 hours. Alex hasn't been talking.

We can talk. Listen, we haven't slept in maybe 24 hours. He's drunk as fuck. He's at the airport, right? He's talking to someone on FaceTime, right? And when Alex talks to girls on FaceTime, this is something I do not understand. So Alex just be like listening the whole time. I'm like, I don't even care.

You gay motherfucker. You be listening to these hoes. This is Al. This is Al when he's talking to these guys. This is Al when he's talking to these guys. Like this. Like this. Literally, this volume.

Son, this volume. This volume. He got his head in his shoulders like this. This is how I feel like this. He look like, he look like Gru. He got his posture like this. He down like that. Despicable Alex over here. His posture's like this. He's down like that. Despicable Alex over here.

This motherfucker. And this is how he was talking to you guys. He'd be like, oh, how you feel about that? And then like 12 minutes later, you just hear him be like, yeah, that's crazy, though. Literally 12 straight minutes of these people talking. So I don't know if he's talking to someone. He's holding the phone delicately in his shoulders. So I'm like, yo, who you talking to, right?

Son, you never talk to your mom, son. He goes like this. He goes like this. He goes like this. He got the phone. He goes, yo. Yo, you're wildin'. He gave me this look. You're wildin', son. He goes like this. He goes like this. Hold on. Hold on. You're wilding son

You're wilding son Come on That's cool We gotta talk about that girl you invited out Talk about it Talk about it Alex Swinton Look at Alex Swinton

Talk about it No no no Hold on Hold on Hold on That's wild Because I'm. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. That's wild because I'm not lying on you. Now you lying on me. Wilson is shoulders on, bro. No, no, no. But you lying on me. You lying on him. I know that he's the next car.

Bro, you ain't single? That's different. You single? You a single man, bro. You lying on me. Well, I got a girl. That's disrespectful. I'm embellishing.

No, no, no, no, no. Just the same way like you're embellishing. No, no, no, no, no, no. You lying on me. I didn't invite no girl out. I'm embracing singleness, bro. You didn't invite a girl. That's disrespectful. I'm embellishing. No, no, no, no, no. Just the same way like you're embellishing. No, no, no, no, no, no. You lying on me. I didn't invite no girl out. I'm embracing singleness, bro. You didn't invite anybody out. That's a lie.

That's a lie. I'm not lying on you. You heard that, Schultz's girl. You're embellishing. Yeah, that's what we do. Alex. You're a single man, Alex. Yeah, but just chill.

Alex, you're a single man. Say it from the body. I don't know who you're talking about. You are a successful young black single man who happens to FaceTime maybe one or many females at a time. You are allowed to do this. You're allowed to do this. Can we go back to having fun, please?

We're having fun. Jesus Christ. You want to not have fun, have a girlfriend like the rest of us. You're trying to lie on me, son. You're trying to lie on me, son. I know, bro. You're trying to lie on me, son. The only way you can make a relationship less fun is by throwing out fake accusations. We already in the bottom.

You know, boss, I'm out here being a great man. I'm out here being a great man. You're going to lie on your boy when I'm'm being a great man, like, real Judas. You ain't being that great, dude. You ain't being that great. Let me tell you this, motherfucker. I go like this. He giving me this look like.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We walk into the airport, right? We walk into the flight. Now we're going to say, we're walking to the flight. I'm like, he goes, yo. He goes, yo. He goes, yo. Yo, next time, don't do that shit.

I go, don't do what? He goes, asking me who I'm FaceTiming. I'm like, I go, why? He goes, I forgot her name. That's not true. That's not true. I go, hold on, hold on. That's not true.

So I got to, I go, you FaceTiming people, you don't know their names, son? You know how intimate that is? How you FaceTiming? You don't know their names, son. We've all been there, bro. That's not true, son. That's not true. That's not true.

I was drunk. I love it. Granted, granted. Alex had been up for 24 straight hours. I was drunk. I was up for a long time. He was drunk. He was up for 24 hours.

Because he was fucking bitches. You asked for this shit. You asked for this shit. I was back in the room. Real talk, son. Fucking man. Bullshit. Fucking Alex.

Real talk. He was telling these aboriginal bitches he had fucking grass in his bed and shit like that. They were running up to his room So god damn quick I got grass and vino In the bed right now

What would we do for this podcast? I guess try to create some content It's all entertainment Alex no bullshit told this aboriginal bitch That a carpet was indoor grass He told this aboriginal chick Just to get her up to the room He's like No no

We invented indoor grass It's called carpet Do you want to come up I can show you What it's about And the aboriginal Oh man She was so excited

I had the wine ready And all that That's a layup room Anyway I respect them It's only entertainment So you just gotta Indulge in the people

Of Australia man They got great people Just like Alex Indulge in the people of Australia, man. They got great people. Just like Alex indulged in the people of Australia. You love those people out there in Australia, right? Ain't you love those people? As soon as you came out, I was like, I knew you had a butt out there, boy. I don't know why you're crying. Holy shit, bro.

I heard some stories about that shit. I never, but I don't understand it. Like, how you just. Yo, wild, son. Yo, wild. This is why I don't get, like, wild, son. Like, I understand You're on a date

And you listen to a girl Talk for 12 minutes Because you know You're gonna get pussy afterwards Son it was my mom Son You know when your mom Just talk

And then you just Have to say yeah My mom don't know How to use a phone On the phone FaceTime bro Son that's the only way She sees me

Cause you have me On the road all the time So the only way She sees me Is FaceTime I've never seen a black guilty. That's the textbook black guilty look is their arms suddenly like straining a little bit. Like, I don't know.

You know what? The sole reason the back is down. I don't know. I'm not even on camera. I don't know what to do with my hands right now. This. Like, 12 minutes, and at the end of that time, you don't get pussy. That's what I don't understand about it. This is wild, bro. Like, I don't understand the logic behind it. Like, what do you the end of that time You don't get pussy That's what I don't understand about it

This is wild bro I don't understand the logic behind Like what do you get out of it He got enough pussy in Australia No no we know We know that But like I don't understand the logic

Like Yo they lying And it's not like What's being said is so Like it's not like What's being said is so entertaining Because he's not reacting at all Like I thought he had fell asleep

Right I was drunk Up 24 plus hours I thought he had fell asleep. I was drunk. Up 24 plus hours. I thought you were drunk or sleepy. So what do you... Why are you drunk FaceTiming your mom? Maybe he has... Because I got to check in.

Why? Because she loves me. Maybe he has sex with so many women in Australia that he was like, I should start listening to these bitches. I had my fill of sex.

Let me see. I'm all sexed out. Let me see what these hoes got to say. You're a good man, Alex. Let me see what these hoes got to say. All entertainment. Don't believe it. You're a good man, Alex.

Why are you so upset about this? What's the big deal? You're single, bro. You're a single man. I don't live like that, though. You don't live like what? You're a single man traveling the world. I'm just filming, you know, taking in the sights and shit.

Everybody knows you, bro. You can't play the cameraman angle all the time. Everyone knows who you look like. Everybody knows who you are. Hey, can I give you one piece of advice? Yo, you know they don't got Fosters over there? Oh, shit the fuck. Like, who the fuck about the beer?

Hey, hey, hey. Cut that shit out. They don't got Fosters. It's Australian for beer, son. They don't got Fosters nowhere. This is real talk. No bullshit. Everything that we think is popping in Australia doesn't exist.

Of course, man. What do you mean? I'd already heard Fosters is from Canada. But why do you say of course? Because they don't got no fucking Outback Steakhouse over there. Yeah, they do. They got Outback over there. It was like McDonald's for them?

It was like Outback Jack's. Outback Jack's. Somebody licensed Burger King over there so they can't have Burger King. So it's called Hungry Jack's but everything else is the same. The food is the same?

Yeah, it's a Burger King but somebody else licensed it. That's weird. But the point is like, Yellowtail wine, you know that wine? Yes. Like super popular

Australian wine over here. When I was trying to be fancy in college you got some yellowtail that's it doesn't even exist over there that's bullshit they got it but they just don't really drink they don't even know about it fosters they don't even know about they don't have shrimp on the barbie everything that they sell us that's theirs isn't actually their shit it's like general sal's chicken i was about to say like it's like chinese food like you don't get boneless sesame whatever. Pretty much all the ethnic shit that we get,

and I'm lumping Australia in with that, in America, it's not truly authentic. Sushi's probably as close as I could think of. When you go to France, you could eat a baguette. Or a croissant. You would think at least the white shit

would be white. Let's say that half of the world is like, I assume, like Indian food at a restaurant. Yeah, because we can't be eating what y'all eat. I Indian food at a restaurant that yeah cuz we can't be in which I'll eat I mean our guy through to the restaurant. We can't eat that shit neither Um, you gotta whiten it up, but you shouldn't need to whiten up white people shit. No, but they're like they're like rugged whites What these like rugged as white people Australians they

Like base level meat over there? Not like you go to Africa, like black countries have goat and shit. Everybody eats goat. Oh, they have great cattle. Cattle? Best beef in the... Son, second best beef we ever tried. Second best beef I've ever tried in my life.

Oh, shit. Yeah, pause. But no shit. No, the steak. The steak was good. What was the first? Japan. What was his name? Oh, Japan steak was good. What was the first? Japan. What was his name?

Oh, Japan. Just kidding. Yo, come on. Wait a second. Wait, you didn't know that that's where they were going with it? I'm thinking about how Alex still trying to throw us off all the bitches he fucked. I just don't feel, I don't try to disrespect me with a distraction. Because I be doing that shit to my girl. I don't get it. I know. I just don't understand. If don't try to disrespect me with a distraction because I be doing that shit to my girl.

I don't get it. I just don't understand if you're not in a relationship, what does it matter? Chill, I just don't like talking about shit. I just say you don't want the block cut. I get it.

Why not? What trouble could you get into? No, it's not trouble. You're a single man. This man was the only advice I'm going to give you. You said like, I know what it's like

to have to go home and have to answer the podcast. Because he embellishes so much and I I look like a crazy-ass hoe. No! You're a sick old man, bro. You're a black man. You're not a hoe. Only women are hoes.

You seen the clip of that guy? Have you seen that clip? Have you seen that clip? No, the guy who's talking to Amber Rose. I forget this you seen that clip? Don't even give him the hose. Nah. Nah, the guy goes, he's talking Amber Rose. I forget this guy's name. He always wants to be on his show. Nah. No jumper?

Nah, nah, nah, nah. He's like this older black dude. D-Ray? Nah, nah. He goes, he goes. D-Ray with a podcast would be the funniest fucking thing ever. Yo, him and Corey Holcomb. Oh, I love Corey Holcomb, yo.

That's the podcast I subscribe to I love Corey Holcomb That motherfucker is hilarious I thought you were talking About the other D-Ray Gay D-Ray Not Gay D-Ray Not Vest D-Ray That's Gay Ray

Gay Ray Yeah yeah So what was he What were we just talking about Talking about Amber Rose Oh yeah so this guy I forget this guy's name But he's interviewing Amber Rose

And he's like So You're a slut And then she goes She goes Well She goes Why is it So you're saying If a girl has sex With a lot of guys you're a slut and then she goes she goes well she goes why is it so she goes so you're saying if a girl has sex with a lot of guys she's a slut and he goes yes and then she goes well if if a guy has sex with a lot of girls what is he he goes a slut maker

alex out here Slut making bro Oh man I remember Amber Was on a show We were doing I was Charlamagne and me

Were doing this show Say for it or something Where you gotta like Dare celebrities to do shit And then he dared her To do something that would like Like I don't believe in Slut walk or something like that

And then you know Her response was See now you fucking up my money Oh Amber about her money bro Yeah bro I mean think How long has the slut walk been something like that and then you know her response oh see now you fucking up my money oh yeah i mean it's just money yeah like there was no there wasn't like what was the goal for the slut walk like what was the cause right it's usually a cause for most of these things like yeah there was no like okay reproductive rights reproductive rights, no, you know, we're going to make, we're going to get people registered to vote. We're going to do something like, what was the, you got all that, all of that organization every year with so many people. Yeah.

It's 2019. I can't look back and be like, all right, the Black Lives Matter marches. I'll be like, okay, we were marching for this because this happened and things have changed since then slut walk started out it started out as like a and I'm not even being facetious like I legitimately never knew what the point of the slut walk was

what it was is like it was somebody some girl I think like a police sheriff or some shit made some accusation about a way a girl was dressed and that's why she was sexually assaulted. Okay. So the idea was it doesn't matter how we get dressed. We shouldn't be sexually assaulted. Got it.

How come they never said? Well, maybe they didn't say and I just never paid attention. Look, it's fucking stupid. All of it is fucking. I don't want to give away too much because I have like a bit where I reference it. But the way you think about it Is completely right It's fucking stupid

They just got nothing To fucking do You can't It was a big thing At one point right Like once No Nobody fucking cares

About that shit I mean like It was a big like event Like remember they had 21 Savage over there Walking around With his signs Yeah

I was like damn damn, bro. Damn. I fell for that motherfucker. That shit is so dumb. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Anyway, cool time in Australia. Thank you very much for having us.

But I agree it was a far time to be away for something that was similar. Like we were talking about. Oh, we didn't finish the story of the girl saying nigga. Oh, yeah. We didn't even start it So we're at this dinner And um And we're sitting down

Alex how does this even happen So um What's the conversation We asked where she was from Oh yeah and she was from a place called Blacktown Got it. Right? Yeah.

You want me to finish it? Yeah. I can't really say it. Yeah. So we just asked her, why do they call it Blacktown? She's like, oh, that's where the niggers are. Wow. She did not say that.

Yeah, she said that's where the niggers are. No, Al. Yes, she did. That wasn't it. Yes, it was. No. I'm not going to say the M word. I'll say something else. I wasn't it. Yes, it was. No, I'm not going to say the N-word. I'll say something else.

I'll say zebra. Why it got to be an animal? Why it got to be an animal, Andrew? Because. You couldn't name anything else? Be careful. I mean, the N-word has just worked perfectly fine for you this entire time. Say something else, dog.

Watermelon. Fried chicken. Strawberry lemonade. Let's year. Say something else, dog. Watermelon. Fried chicken. Strawberry lemonade. Let's just call it something else. Cheddar-baked biscuits and red lobster. Like, there's so many things we could go with, you know? Rayaway programs. Whatever.

I was really looking for something that was two syllables and it ended in an A. That's where I was going with it. Why did you guys go to the animal thing so quickly? You had a thing that you were calling black people for a while, no? What was that? You had like a substitute word. I forgot what it was. It was a couple episodes ago.

God damn, I forgot what you called it. I would call black people? No, no. I think black people would call him Nilla. Nilla's there. Watch your mouth, yo. You can't say that. That's your fucking mouth, yo.

You know the fuck I'm saying. Watch your fucking mouth, yo. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not for you to say, yo. Watch your fucking mouth, yo. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not for you to say, yo. Watch your fucking mouth, yo. Have some respect, yo. Yo, that's crazy, bro. Can I get the water back?

Bro, where I'm from, that's fighting words, bro. It's in your lap, man. It's in your pocket. Real talk. It was a great aim, by the way. Real talk, real talk. You're going to throw water

like that when your relatives need that shit so badly. You know some of my best friends are Nillas, so I would never. I would never, you know. So Nilla, right? Okay, wait. So she said some other shit. That was it?

No, she said she was like. She was just very embarrassed. She's like, I'm from Blacktown. Yeah. Right? And she's like, that's why I think that your big Nilla dick could fit inside me. That's what she said to you. See, there you go.

It wasn't even funny. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't even worth it. Did she just say that? Poor Alex. Did she really say that? That's where the M words are from? Yeah, because remember her dad got punched in the face because he went down south.

And he said that? He said something along the line, like maybe a word that sounded like nigga, and then he got punched in the face. In America? He said, I'm from Blacktown. Oh yeah, he said, I'm from Blacktown. And a black lady thought that was disrespectful and punched him in the face. In America? Wow. That's so funny. But is the name of the town

actually called Blacktown? I think it's like nicknamed Blacktown. Oh, so it's not a whole lot after that, huh? I think it's like nickname Blacktown. I don't know. Oh, so it's not. No, that's the actual name of it. Oh, that's the actual name? Yeah, yeah, it's the actual name.

Black people do live there, or the aboriginals live there. Maybe. There's a group of them, but she said. But we're getting away about what's so funny about this story is that a white girl just screamed the N-word at dinner with all of us there. And I think we asked her why right she's like why'd you feel so why'd you do it or something yeah and she was just like i don't know i was just going for it

it was so funny bro she's there with her boss her boss looks like she's got a little aboriginal she got a little aboriginal in her so the girl girl who says nigger is like, she's trying to throw her boss under the bus. She's like, oh my God, I can't believe I said that. I've been telling her. We cannot say that. We cannot say that. And the other girl's like, what are you talking about? I never said it.

Why would you even have to tell me not to say it? So you know both of them just be dropping that shit all the fucking time. I miss this whole convo, bro. Yeah, but so she's trying to throw you know you're being faithful i don't listen to girls like you apparently you sure i didn't have it on facetime later that night i was like yeah word how you feel about that it was it was a it was pretty wild it was weird it was a weird scenario yeah we all just looked at alex to see his reaction yeah i really know what to do or not you never know what to do right it wasn't malicious yeah and you know they don't have the same history as us yeah so it's

like can i be mad at her like i could feel a way about it because she knows it's wrong you gotta say something yeah but it's always like what do you say in that moment she was super apologetic yeah but like she wouldn't stop fucking apologizing if a white girl is is hanging out with you and says that word and a not not american white woman but like yeah exactly so there's like a little bit of cultural separation and And she's saying that word. I doubt there's malice behind it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.

I truly- I have a friend who wasn't born in this country. Yeah. Born in, I think she was born in Jerusalem or some shit. But like the way she assimilated to American culture was listen to mad rap music. Right. So she had some old tweets pop up that, you know, whatever. Oh, word.

And she used to let the N-word fly a lot, like, quoting things. Not really real. I'm not sure she's younger than me. Like, she's, like, she's a kid. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I can understand that cultural divide of not really knowing that word, but still being in a position of, like, all right, like, you got to know that this isn't right, right? And, like all right like you gotta know that this isn't

this isn't right right and like she knew it but she just didn't understand why so i can understand alex being in that position when these white women in australia just like oh well you know i'm sorry and you know n words and shit like that like you don't you never know really know how to what to say because you want to be mad at them but you understand like it's not completely your fault am i making sense yeah yeah i also thought god was testing me i was like it was a year from You want to be mad at them, but you understand it's not completely your fault. Am I making sense? Yeah. I also thought God was testing me.

I was like, it was a year from the day I was in jail. I was like, yo, you trying to put me back, son? Who was this? Is this a test, son? Oh, my gosh. God damn. Anyway. Damn. Wild time.

Fun time in Australia. Definitely cool to see All the assholes out there And to see everybody Who showed up to the show And I mean that was kinda That's just kinda crazy

To be on the other side of the world And also To see like the The diversity at the show It's something I rarely Comment on But like The clubs

And like the promoters And all them Like the guy zach who was like our real country guy taking us on tour yeah um like i knew that this was like his first time interacting with this many black people because he learned that you had to use flash when taking pictures no this is for real 100 right What are you awing about? No, continue.

It's facts, though. I know, but what are you saying? What are you awing about? Just cultural division is just funny to me. Well, he's only got white friends. Why would they use black? Exactly. That's why I'm just like, oh, man.

We just had the conversation like five seconds ago. It's like, you want to be upset, but it's like, well, it's like, yeah, he really doesn't know what black people look like. Yeah, just like you thought there was kangaroos all over like, well, it's like, yeah, he really doesn't know what black people look like. Yeah, just like you thought there was kangaroos all over the sidewalks and shit. No, I didn't. I compared it to Africa where people were like, oh, there's just lions and elephants. You asked if they were everywhere. I mean, I said it.

You said it because you said that's what I was doing. Exactly. What? Yeah, you owned it. You said, I feel bad because people ask me about Africa. And I'm like, no, but then here I am. Yeah, OK, gotcha. right, right, same vein. Anyway, continue.

Sorry, guys. Black people gotta cut this shit out where you want everybody to know everything about your culture and you know nothing about anybody else's culture, bro. We're fucking trying, all right? We're fucking trying. Try with yourself. We're fucking trying, okay?

There's a lot. You've been through a lot. God damn it. Anyway, so where were we before Kaz started fucking all the diversity of shows? Take a picture of the B-Splash, yada, yada, yada. Oh, yeah. And just like, so just seeing like all these people like realize what it can be. Like everywhere.

It was just so dope. It was so dope to see. And especially when they have like a kind of like PC comedy scene. Yeah. And then you see like these these the PC people are always like these like liberal white people like we need to be more diverse we need to be more caring

we need to be more open more progressive and then I go in with the least PC act in the world and then my show is the most diverse yeah

and it was just this like moment where like even like the people at the club they were like yo fuck these people this is how it's gotta be like fuck these

people kind of trying to run the scene. This is how it's got to be. But anyway, thank you all so much for coming out, man. We really appreciate it. I'm surprised Australia has a big PC movement. Every dude I've ever met from Australia is the most non-cuck white dude. Like, just brawling. Fucking.

I remember I was at the Village Lantern where we came up. And then it's like you would just bark people in off the street. Downstairs was a shitty-ass comedy room. We would get people in off the street. Downstairs was a shitty ass comedy room. We would get people in off the street and we got like literally an entire Australian rugby team

and I said some shit that one girl was offended by and they liked me and they just started booing the girl and then they started rugby chanting her out of the room.

I started dancing along and it was like a whole great scene. They were just not having it, man. They were like, get the fuck out of here. I love those hooligans. Is that what they're called?

No, that's English soccer fans. You don't know nothing about nobody. I'm asking. I thought fucking hell. White people ask about black people? Is that problematic? We should start giving Kaz an awe every time he don't know everything about the world. Oh, you mean like hooligans?

And I've been corrected. Sorry. Doesn't it feel uncomfortable? Doesn't it feel uncomfortable to be yelled at every time he has a question? Maybe it makes you want to not ask questions anymore. And maybe that's why nobody knows anything about anybody. Maybe you don't ask questions. You just go walk in a voting booth and vote for Trump.

There you go. I actually don't feel bad at all. That's that white guilt. We don't have that shit. Let me tell you something. Akash has zero white guilt. The one thing I know about Akash's shit. I could say it, and you may or may not believe me,

but trust me, Akash does not have any. I don't give a shit, yo. Do you think I care about cultures? The fuck? There we go. That's what? The fuck? There we go. That's what I'm asking. What the fuck? There we go.

Anyway, yeah. All-Straightened Rugby. Great stuff. The part is? No, let's do a little read. Oh, yeah. We got to pay some bills. Guys, let's take a break for a second.

We got to pay some bills. It's football season, okay? We know you're out there gambling on football. We know it. We got to pay some bills. It's football season. Okay. We know you're out there gambling on football. We know it. We know this happens. Go make some bread, make some motherfucking money. And if you're going to gamble, use my bookie, my bookie.ag or my bookie.com. I think they both go the exact same place, but my bookie.ag, which you're going to put right here, my bookie.ag, you go there, they have more spreads, more betting things than you could possibly imagine. You bet the first half and the

second half. You get your ass busted in the first half, put some money on the other team for that second half. Do what you got to do at mybookie.com. If you're feeling really lucky, play that parlay. They pay out even more. The cool thing about mybookie.ag is that they are going to double your first deposit up to $1,000. That means you put inBookie is That they are going to double your first deposit Up to $1,000 That means you put in $1,000 They're going to match with $1,000 You get your gamble on with that free money

Use the promo code FLAGRANT To activate the offer That's promo code FLAGRANT Visit MyBookie.ag You play, you win, you get paid That's MyBookie Let's get back to the show Guys, when we come back

We got some real rap beef We got some NBA rap beef going on. Rap beef so good that you want to whack off to it. So pop a blue... Just make the weirdest ad read. Weirdest ad read ever.

You want to listen to Shaq and Dame go at it? Pop that blue chew. Get that dick hard. Stroke that car. Just stroke that car. Okay? We got it, yo. We got the equity with Blue Chew. They got to let us rock with some weird reads.

Dude, I'll do anything for Blue Chew. Except jerk off to Shaq and Tate for rap beef. That's a funny Blue Chew challenge. Take Blue Chew and whack off to the most non-sexual shit possible. Yo, real talk. And then tell us what it is. Like a phone call with Alex. That's how you know Bluetooth works, is we get Alex to FaceTime one of his friends.

My mom. Take that Bluetooth and see if you can bust a knot to the combo. He just said like this, yeah, keep going. Give it up, bro. And eight minutes later, just hits him on the chin. All right, we done, yo. I'll out to the combo. He just sit like this. Yeah, keep going. Give it up, bro. And eight minutes later, just hits him on the chin. All right, we done, yo. I'll talk to you later. All right, I'm going to holler at you.

Just keep slapping him. I'm going to holler at you in a second, yo. Drip, drip, drip. Drip, drip, drip. Only you come out of your face, man. I'll be busting on my face But real talk This side

That's the CK special Yo no bullshit This side of my face Is gonna get more thick And I think it's like fertilizer Real talk doc Come as like fertilizer It's like a mud mask

I don't get the mud mask Just exfoliates Good exfoliation. Then how Indian hoes be getting these sideburns? That body is getting some. So real talk, Karma Sutra, bro. This years of Karma Sutra, bro,

busted on every part of the body. Got you all hairy. Got you all hairy like some koalas. It's koalas everywhere so guys real talk remember the days when you bust on your face no bullshit no bullshit what's up blue chip chew If you really wanna like do it If you really wanna do it Alright I'll tell y'all You pop that blue chew

Right? And then You know how girls use the waist shapers To like tighten up their dick? Yeah Their waist Yeah Wait a minute

Girls see y'all fuck don't got dicks? We're not doing this fucking topic again. God damn it. Y'all be fucking girls without dicks. This is the first post about to get me banned from IG right here. It would be beautiful if the first and third strike were both tranny posts. Y'all really need to start fucking girls with some dicks bro yo a dude at one of the shows let me go get to this a dude one of the shows came up with good a good a fucking idea i think

i might have to take it for a joke but i was just talking to crowd and just ask him if they have any questions whatever and uh he goes uh how you feel about uh trans women in sports and i was like man i don't know but it's weird that like you know conservatives hate it so much he's like why and i was like because you know it's like they you know these like crazy like conservative dudes not all conservatives but the crazy ones like it's like because if you beat your wife you think it would be more fun for you to watch like men you know you know get to dominate women or whatever. Yeah. Then he goes, uh, I was like, what do you think?

He goes, they should have their own league. I'm like, yo, that's low key genius. Yeah. That seems like a great idea. Tranny football league because it's elite level football.

And tits. Right? So it's like, it's like the cheerleaders and the football players are the same. It's like, you know, TN NBA. Son,

it's the TN NBA. For a real talk. Dude, think about how great it is. Think about how great it is it's guys out go think about how great it is you don't need cheerleaders

it's like head and shoulders the two in one somebody you ever use like shampoo and conditioner it's cheerleaders and athletes

together bro that's sports that's entertainment dog we have an amazing streak of transgender talk on this on this damn podcast

And these trainees keep flagging our shit You ain't got nothing better to do Like take some fucking estrogen Y'all didn't learn nothing from Chappelle Jesus Y'all know the team that are most Unsufferable out of the group Son there was this trainee that came to my show

Bro We not putting in a clip My man was putting in Son, there was this trainee that came to my show, bro. Oh, God. We're not putting in a clip. No, my man was putting in minimal effort. Son. Son. Yo, but this is how Australian he was, son. Son, minimal effort. Like this. Like this is what he did did he was like I'm transitioning Just took his head off. Like that. Fixed his eyebrows one time. He said, saliva.

He's like, I'm a lady now. I'm liberated. So my man came up to me after the line. We take a picture and he's like. You said my man. My bad. I can't even, Doc. You know I can't even, Doc.

I forgot. I forgot. My man. Whatever. The guy. You know I can't even, doc. I forgot. I forgot. My man, whatever. The guy. You know who else forgot? God. Yo. Can't you talk over a banger ass line?

I said, you know who else forgot? God. Get it? Come on. Listen, I heard it. I heard it. I heard it. God damn it.

I heard it. All right. So she comes up to me at that line. Take a picture. And I know he's wearing some makeup. But it's not much else going on. It's just some makeup. Right?

And he goes. He just looked like a Sephora guy. He really looked like a Sephora guy. He didn't change his voice. Or a Sephora girl. Both of y'all lookhora guy. He didn't change his voice. Or a Sephora girl. Both of y'all look about the same. Same shit. He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, all right.

I enjoyed your show, Mike. I enjoyed your show, Mike. I really loved that tranny clip that you got. You know, that tranny clip is so funny. And I relate to it. Because I could transition back with a wet wipe too. He said it. That's great.

About himself. That's great. And I was like, holy shit, Australians are the best. Even their trannies are fucking cool, man. Oh, man. All right, so Blue Chew. Even their trainings are fucking cool, man. Oh, man. All right, so Blue Chew. I pop the Blue Chew. I bust his shit wide open.

You said I bust his shit wide open. I just had to sit there in the silence, bro. That's all I had to do. Okay, so no. BlueChew.com. If y'all don't know about Bluechew. Come on. Come on.

Get on the fucking board right now, okay? Bluechew. Get that dick rock hard, okay? Get out there and chew it up. I came back from Australia. I know I had to please my lady, bro. I know I had to please my lady, but I knew I was finna bust off quick. Okay?

I pop my blue. First of all, I pop my blue chew. I do my classic. Pop the blue chew. Go right at it. Get the first one out. The blue chew starts to kick in. Run back.

Run it back for seconds. Quick rinse. Lay the hammer. I mean, we can rinse. You know what I mean? You gotta rinse. You gotta pee. You gotta clear the chamber.

Click, click. Get the shell out. Click, click. You gotta get the shell out like that. you know what i'm saying you pop it some shits pop out smoke come out all that click click be back to gutting the shells all over the floor real talk that's how motherfuckers get pregnant on round two because there's sperms left over from round one. Is that true? Round two is more fresh. The first round of sperm is like right at the door.

It's like Black Friday. Like the first people that get it. The second one is Cyber Monday, huh? The second one is Cyber Monday. Man, chill.

Don't stress. The second round. Black Friday. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Oh my god See you at Blue Chew BlueChew.com There it is You already know the offer code Flagrant

Okay Yes sir You give your girl The time of your life You need to impress A little shorty You get out there Get it strong

Get it thick Get it thick What Son Get it thick. Get it thick. What? Son, get it thick. Oh, gosh. Get it thick. You got to get it thick.

You got to get it thick. You got to get it so thick. Yo. Thick. Son. Real talk. Yo, real talk talk When I first When I feel When I feel the blue chew kicking in

Sometimes I be holding my breath And I just push all the breath into my dick To raise it up like that Like Like that Sometimes Sometimes you gotta lean over How you doing that

You don't lean over So all the blood Like all the blood Just all the way in? Yeah. I call it the blue tip because the tip of my dick is blue because my dick is blue because I put all that fresh blood in there. And then you hold your breath like that.

You go. It's like when you start a balloon. You ever see a balloon animal guy stretch it? I'm stretching my dick a little first. I'd be like that. Like that. Like that. And then you take a little deep breath right and that comes out a little curve like that it just hits that little curve flagrant okay you go yo listen you get it free sample all right five5 just pays for the shipping. That's it. Nothing.

Get that. Nothing, baby. So that's all it is. $5 you pay. Get that free sample. Get your dick hard and get that little. You get that. That's the sound that comes out if I push really hard.

Some air comes out through the dick and it just goes. Mine does like the clicking sound when you fill up a gas tank You always push a little past that You always push a pass Okay we're full Holy shit boys Holy shit Alright The Portes?

Let's talk about it bro Let's talk about the Portes man Alright bro What do you want to talk about? The Shaq and Dame beef? Yo, I came in here. Mm-hmm. Akash got a verse on the phone playing out loud.

Mm-hmm. Sounds like Shaq's voice. Rapper Shaq voice. Rapper Shaq voice? Rapper Shaq's voice is very different than regular Shaq voice. 100% true. Regular Shaq is very, you know. But Rapper Shaq voice. Rapper Shaq voice. Rapper Shaq's voice is very different than regular Shaq voice. Regular Shaq is very, you know. But Rapper Shaq. Rapper Shaq voice is vicious.

Vicious. Sounds like a mean guy. Diesel. I like it. And he is targeting his rhymes against none other but Dame Dollar, Dame Lillard. Now, why would you attack Dame Lillard, a known rapper in the NBA? Well, allegedly. I think I heard the clip.

Maybe he played at the beginning of his song on Breakfast Club. Yes. Charlamagne asked Dame if he was a better rapper than Shaq. And Dame, I think, said something to the effect of, yeah, obviously, because Shaq wasn't really a rapper. He was just like a ballplayer who happened to rap. Wow. Something like that. That's a while ago, wasn't it? I think, said something to the effect of, yeah, obviously, because Shaq wasn't really a rapper. He was just like a ball player who happened to rap. Wow. Something like that. That's a while ago, wasn't it?

I think so. I mean, it took Shaq that long to come up with a song. That's what I'm saying. Over the What's the Difference beat. Yeah. Great beat, by the way. I thought Xzibit was going to be something. Yeah, we all did.

I mean, Pimp My Ride was great. Yeah, Pimp My Ride. You know, that was when I was like, ah, fuck it. I like Restless. Restless, that was the name of the album? That was my shit. Yeah, Xzib Ride was great. Yeah, Pimp My Ride. That was when I was like, ah, fuck it. I like Restless. Restless, that was the name of the album? That was my shit. Yeah, Xzibit was good. He had a good rap voice.

He had the bad rap pedigrees and the 8 Mile and shit too. He had a little wave right in the early 2000s. But let's not get distracted. Yes. All of a sudden, Akash plays yet another song

on his phone and what is it? The Dame. The Dame. It of a sudden, Akash plays yet another song on his phone, and what is it? The Dame. The Dame Disc. It is a Dame diss track. Our response to Shaq, we have a legit NBA rap beef. This is Dame's second one, right? Who was the first one with? Marvin Bagley.

Marvin Bagley. And Marvin had bars. You know why I like Dame? Dame plays by the rules of all rat beef Somebody disses you You have 48 hours or less to respond And that's it And that motherfucker always responds in like 6 hours

And he had bars And he has bars Hold on I just saw a All the money in the world they trade you for penny There was a bunch of Can we acknowledge that line? All the money in the world, they traded you for Penny. There was a bunch of- Can we acknowledge that line? All the money in the world, they traded you for Penny. That's Orlando trading Shaq.

They let him go as a free agent, but they made it clear they wanted Penny more than him. Kobe won you those rings, though. Kobe won. But there was something with the flash. Yeah, even in Miami Even in Miami One of the strength of flash See that's a part Black people need flash

He said Exactly what I was saying Gosh Cash He's talking about the gift bags He said you gotta You gotta get a gift bag Every time you're horny Every horny

Every time you're horny You gotta get a gift bag You paying these hoes Shaq Shaq you paying these hoes That was a bit of a low blow That's what I'm saying Like yo I fucks with Dame

But like You don't Come on That's almost the type of shit Andrew was doing earlier today Let me ask you something Why is that a bad thing That's cross-stitching bro

Like you don't Man to man You don't do that bro No no no I'm saying I fuck a girl And then I give her a gift bag Who cares Yo a regular

Who cares That's a dirty move That's a dirty move That's true A regular guy Don't do that, bro. No, no, no. I'm saying I fuck a girl and then I give her a gift bag. Who cares? Who cares? I'm grateful. I'm here to give all these bitches baskets. That's a dirty move. That's true. A regular guy's gift bag is listening for 12 minutes on FaceTime. Yeah.

That's your gift bag, Al. That's what you give these girls. I love my mom. I'm sorry. I love my mom. Maybe Kobe should have got a bitch a gift bag. Maybe. Maybe Kobe would have caught one last case he got a bitch a gift bag. Or a colostomy bag to

shit that probably fell out her ass that big black mama was in there the road to eldorado fell out of her ass bro everything was in that shit hell in the fuck oh man i love when youate in the flagrancy That shit is good man It's good I was like damn I thought Kobe was going down In that case man Nah

Once all that shit You can't have all of them All that DNA That's three A lot of DNA Three too many DNA A lot of DNA Wash your panties ladies

Golly Wash your panties Okay I'm worth hundreds of millions Of dollars And I'm just fucking bitches You get a gift bag To shut up and one pair of drawers. Wash your panties, ladies. Golly. Wash your panties. Okay? Well, I'm worth hundreds of millions of dollars and I'm just fucking bitches. You get a gift bag to shut up. I mean,

it's so inexpensive. Honestly, it's so inexpensive. you have to. You have to, yo. Like, you're that rich. You're fucking some floozy

after a game or after TNT or some shit like that. It's the right thing to do. She's gonna talk shit about you if you don't. It's the right thing to do. She's going to talk shit about you if you don't. It's the right thing to do. If you don't make it a memorable experience for her for the rest of her life.

You get her a nice enough gift bag. You know what gift she'll give you? The gift of silence. The gift of silence. That's what you pay for. That's what I need. Yeah, goddamn. Pay him to be quiet.

You go home with a nice Amazon dot Alexa or something. Some chocolates. I'm not a cheap ass bitch. I just need an Alexa. She just needs someone to listen to her. Somebody to talk to A reminder to take the plan B Built it

Nah you need to be there to witness that That's in the gift bag Real talk That needs a witness That's like getting married at City Hall Someone need to go with you to the pharmacy. Okay, you got it?

No, I was there. Let me look under your tongue. God damn. Okay, so what do we think happens here? One, do we give it to Dame or do we give it to Shaq? I think Dame got it right.

I give it to Dame off the bars. I wasn't crazy about the gift bag line. But you gotta give Shaq for longevity too, man. Shaq's been rapping for what? Since 94?

Shaq put out like one song every three years. What are you talking about longevity? Yeah, but like his diss record track record isn't terrible either. The Kobe Tell Me

How My Ass Tastes is like... Dick? No, isn't it? No, it was ass. Yeah, it's like Kobe Tell Me How My Ass Tastes. That was like one of the first...

Village Underground? Yes. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, it's like Kobe told me on my Astley's. That was like one of the first. Village Underground? Yes. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, that was here. That was one of the first like real big viral sports clips. Yeah.

You know, on the Twitter, social media era. He had a couple funny bars. The best baller out of Oakland is J.R. Ryder. Still makes me laugh. He's so fucking funny.

He was reaching. Yeah. The Trevor Ariza line. Say you think you're LeBron, you're more like Trevor Ariza. Like, what did Trevor Ariza do to you? He's a solid basketball player. That's his point, I guess.

But, like, it's so funny to say that. Like, imagine you tell some New York legend the best baller out of New York is Lance Stevenson. That's what I was telling Andrew. That's just so funny, man. It's just so ridiculous. Is there anyone else out of Oakland? Jason Kidd.

Jason Kidd. Gary Payton. Yeah, Gary Payton. Gary Payton's like the Oakland guy. Oakland got a very rich point guard legacy. That's why it's funny

to go past all of that and say J.R. Ryder. That's why it made me laugh so much. To be fair, J.R. Ryder has like one of the best athlete names ever.

Like, he gets name dropped all the time just because his name is so rhythmic. Like, J.R. Ryder from fucking Dipset. Even Alex was like, who's J.R. Ryder? He didn't know that J rhythmic like jr rider from fucking dipset and even alex was like who's jr right he didn't know he didn't know that jr rider from dipset was named after jr rider the basketball player yeah why wouldn't he go j kid because it's funnier that's what's

so dismissive about it to me it's like i'm gonna say the best guy's this fucking scrub you're not even as good as him it It makes me laugh, man. That was so funny. I fucked a J.R. Ryder, though. First person I seen do a through the legs dunk. Yeah, killed it. And when Jay dissed Joe Budden, he also compared him to J.R. Ryder. He said, you're not even a Harold Minor, you're J.R. Ryder.

Matter of fact, you're Corvus Ellis, you worthless fella. Harold Minor. Yeah, all the baby Jordans. the Harold Minor. You're G.R. Ryder. Matter of fact, you're Corvus Ellis. You're a worthless fella. Harold Minor. Yeah, all the baby Jordans. Remember Harold Minor. That's kind of a, I mean, looking back at it, kind of a compliment. To what? Because he's naming all the baby Jordans of that era. The ones who were about to be Jordan didn't work out.

He said, you ain't no athlete. You're Sean Bradley. Matter of fact. So I guess he called him, Jay-Z was Jordan, and Joe Budden was trying to come at him for that crown. And he's like, you're not even, you ain't no athlete. You're Sean Bradley. Harold Minor.

You're J.R. Ryder. You're worthless. You're Purvis Ellis or some shit. Like, he just went on and on and on. But, you know, Jay-Z's the GOAT. But if y'all remember those guys, I might have aged myself with all those guys. Here's what's going to be frustrating. Here's what's going to be frustrating, though, is Shaq, he's just going to be so passive-aggressive

about it on TNT postgame. When he doesn't like somebody, he's just constantly shitting on them or whatever. And then he's just like, three ring, three ring. Shaq's kind of a sourpuss, man. He is. He's kind of a sourpuss. I'm starting to like, the older I get, I'm like, yo, Nick, why are you always bitching? He was talking about, and Damelo talked about this in the song.

He's like, oh, he was salty that he wasn't the unanimous mvp he's like that's why he probably salty at steph yeah or whatever and like you know whatever oakland and um on top of that he was just like what was the other ones always talking about other big man and yeah the superman shit like giving dwight howard shit that's like oh like that shit made me laugh sometimes i remember one time in miami he was playing really badly and he goes, I don't know what's been wrong with me lately. I've been playing like Eric Dampier, which is just so funny.

It's so funny sometimes. But then when it keeps going and now you're not playing, it's just not as funny now. You just seem like the old man. He just trashes him. You're like the old man yells at a cloud meme. Like that's how Shaq is starting to be.

He got some funny Chris Bosh ones too where he says he plays like a woman or something like that. Can't say that now though. Yeah, no, that's why it's is starting to be. He got some funny Chris Bosh ones, too, where he plays like a woman or something like that. Can't say that now, though. Yeah, no, that's why it's still funny. But anyway, yeah. Called Sacramento the Sacramento Queens. And then he became a minority owner of the team, which is such a.

That's great. Is he a minority owner of the team? Yeah. He owns a stake in the Sacramento Kings. That's their gift bag. Yeah. I've been fucking with him for so many years. There's their gift bag.

I've been owning Sacramento my entire career. Might as well do it in real life. He said that? Yeah. I've been fucking him for so many years. Here's your gift bag. I've been owning Sacramento my entire career. Might as well do it in real life. That's great. He said that? Yeah. He has more sometimes, but it just always feels so real. Sometimes it just feels so real and it doesn't feel funny. And it's like the Dwight Howard shit is like he's still going to take shots at Dwight.

Dwight done, man. I mean, he felt threatened. He got to be real. And that's the other thing. When you feel threatened sometimes, you just take the shot. He felt threatened by Dwight at one point. He took an L on this rap song, so he's going to take his shots throughout the season. And that's going other thing. When you feel threatened sometimes, you just take the shot. He felt threatened by Dwayne at one point. And he knows he took an L on this rap song, so he's going to take his shot throughout the season. And that's going to be annoying.

But this is a very entertaining rap beef. Fair enough. Kenny's supposed to keep it real with him, though. He's like, nah, you got smoked. Charles will, too. And then he's like, three rings. Same fucking cycle. Same shit again, Shaq.

You need another one. Well, four rings, right? He got four. He got one with Miami. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Four rings another one. Well, four rings, right? He got four. He got one in Miami. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Four rings, yeah. Well, Flash carried him. And the refs.

I got to bring this up, and then we can move back to sports in a second. But this guy came up to me after the show in Sydney, and he brought up this hypothetical. And I thought it was quite interesting. You guys chew on it. A guy buys a massive yacht. Okay. Okay? One of these super fancy yachts.

And he only hires black people to be the staff for the yacht. Is that racist or progressive? What kind of staff? Like captain of the ship? Well, what is interesting about it is that you go there with it right if if a company like an advertising agency or or a basketball team or something was like i'm only going to hire a uh all black front staff or something like that they would probably be praised they'd be like wow you're trying to interject diversity and put these roles in and wow that'd be amazing i think what this hypothetical exposes is how we view certain positions yeah that's all i'm saying like are

they are what like you said like what part of the staff are they like on the board if it was only captains and it was only whatever it'd be like oh my god this is great we're looking at but if you're like oh the people that are serving yeah right but but why he's interjecting he's interjecting he's injecting money in people's pockets he's giving opportunities give a job i think it really shows our bigoted approach to to work where we view some work as lesser than level and then some work is okay i didn't need that exposed to me because i know that about myself if i'm supposed to view the waiter of the restaurant the same as the owner of the restaurant, no, I'm not a fucking retard.

Like, that's obviously one deserves less respect. Could not deserve. Commands less respect than the other. And I'm saying if he had all, like all throughout, then it's, yeah, everybody. But if he stops at the people serving food, then it's like, all right, that's a little. No, no, no.

Everybody. Yeah, then that's straight. That's great. Everybody. Right. All black servers, captains, whatever, they should all be whatever. I think it's weird if you stop there. But also, I 100% view a busboy differently than I view a waiter differently than I view a manager.

And it's weird to be that person, too, because you've got to make it a thing. If you just do it without mentioning it, it's like, how come there's only black people that have their service here? But if you're like, you know, as the owner of this yacht, I'm going to do my best. Yeah, you have to make it a thing or you feel weird. Exactly. Like you have to make it a thing. And then now you're like, why does it have to be a thing? Why can't you just, you know?

And then that shows you how far we've really come as a progressive people because if it's a thing, then, you know. Do people pretend that you position is the same? No, no, no. But why are certain jobs? I guess what I'm trying to say is why are certain jobs. I look at Bruce Arians. Why are certain jobs progressive if you hire them and then certain jobs racist if you hire people for them? Well, you look at Bruce Arians, who's the head coach of the Buccaneers right now.

White dude. Super cool white guy. He's made it a point of duty to hire. He has an entirely black coaching staff. So is that progressive? I don't know. People would view it as such. It's viewed differently, yeah,

obviously because of the prestige of the NFL and giving black coaches chances and all that type of stuff. But at the same time, it's like, well. I think the point is black people have historically been held out of positions of power, et cetera, so if you're giving them positions they've already had, it's like, well, that think the point is black people have historically been held out of positions of power, etc. So if you're giving them positions they've already had, it's like, well, that's not progress. Yes.

Right. But if you're still keeping them out of these positions, that's where the bar of racism has moved to. We get jobs now, but y'all are keeping us out of these jobs now. And that's why if it's all throughout, I don't think anybody would say that's racist. How dare you have black staffers? And you'd be like, are you fucking moron? I have black everybody. But if it's just black staff, then it's'd be like, are you a fucking moron? I have black everybody. But if it's just black staff, then it's like, well, you're still keeping us out of the positions of power.

And that's what modern racism looks like. But what if there's no rule that said they couldn't be in the position of the power, but they're like, I'm just going to allocate these jobs to black people or one specific community. It could be Native Americans or whatever, like a community that is financially struggling. I'm going to allocate these jobs. Yeah, then there's like a gray area.

It's like, if you can work your way up and whatever, absolutely. And right now, there's like a way to explain it where it's like, okay. But it does optically

look a little weird if they're just there. Isn't that interesting though? It is weird. I mean, the optics look weird. It's not about necessarily less respect. we know that like there are certain positions that we admire have more respect for but at the end of the day you're putting money you're putting money in someone's pocket and you're giving them a a an opportunity over someone else specifically

because you want to economically uplift them yeah but a certain job it will be looked at as looked down upon to do that because it's in a service industry rather than another job which is and it wouldn't have to be even be a job of power if it was like internships for an unpaid internship for mgm or something like that or some like a miramax or some movie thing but we're only accepting one group of candidates we'd be like how progressive that they're looking and they're trying to create equity. I just think it was a really interesting hypothetical. Well, this is like, I think I heard this thing Obama said on Mark Maron's podcast where it's like, when people act like there's no progress,

you can't just say, oh, it's just like it was 50 years ago. No, we made tons of progress. So progress now is, black people can get jobs. But the bar that they still feel like the ceiling, the glass ceiling is, we can't get positions of power. So now it's like, okay, well, this doesn't feel like the ceiling, the glass ceiling is we can't get positions of power. Right. So now it's like, okay, well, this doesn't feel like progress.

This feels like this is what it is. And there's always the rule of trajectories as well. Like if you're giving somebody a job as a clerk at a yacht, it's like, okay, well, how far, how much further can this person really move on? Whereas if you're a head coach and you're giving your defensive coordinator, offensive coordinator, all these people are black, they're in a position where now they have experience to go on and be head coaches and address a big problem within the NFL community instead of – Actually, yeah. I changed my mind on the Rooney rule, which is you have to – in the NFL, if you have a head coaching vacancy, you have to interview at least one black person as a candidate to be the head coach.

I was like, that's bullshit. That's like some pity thing. You're throwing them a bone and then i realized the idea i was explained was like no the idea is even if you don't want him for this job right now you meet him and then maybe down the road if somebody else is like yo do you know anybody good for a head coaching position you'd be like yo i i interviewed this guy he was great or you fire this guy you're like oh is that guy still available he was great yeah yeah so it's like, to me, that's where it depends. This is all the gray area of it. But we have definitely made progress in that they can get the job.

It's just what job are they getting. And that's why I think we view it as... 100%, especially the power positions. It's just interesting that if only the service positions were hired, it would be looked at as racist instead of progressive because at the end of the day, you are providing people with work. And there is something funny about people. If people really pretend they don't judge certain positions the second you have probably especially white people the second you got problems with the person you're talking to let me talk to a manager because i don't respect

you you disagree with me right now and that exposes i don't really respect what you do you press some buttons you're a fucking cashier let me talk to somebody who got more than a GED. Like, all this shit starts coming up. Yeah, yeah. There's something there. It does expose something, but to me, it's like, yeah, we're all that. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You're just more comfortable with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is there no respect to cashier?

Fucking idiot. What's wrong with a cashier? You press four buttons, you scan some items. I was a cashier at 16 at Target. I didn't need a fucking education for it. Teach me skills. I don't know. I didn't get any skills.

Oh, hey, this line is long. Let me go grab some people. What did you used to do? I was a cashier when I was 16. That was my first job. As soon as I turned 16, I was like, I want to get a job. I want to do this. I was a cashier at Target and the worst employee they ever had in terms of like...

They literally would debate, like, is he the worst employee you've ever had? Because I just didn't give a fuck. Like, if this is the bottle we're selling, these water bottles, and this is the front of the shelf, you have to make sure you pull it to the front of the shelf and it's all facing the front and exposing the label to people. And I was like, gosh, this is idiotic. What are you doing? And I'm going to tell you something, I didn't deserve any respect back then.

I hear you. I hear you. They didn't think you did. People disrespected me. I'd have been like, you got that. You are 100% right. I got disrespect.

I don't like when I get disrespected by people in service. Yeah. Yeah, that shit drives mepected by people in service. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that shit drives me. It's like, oh, you're in service. It really bothers me. Yeah, because you're supposed to provide me with a good experience. Like, today-

You work in service. I don't. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, sir, like, or just don't be a dick. Like, today I was getting a coffee at La Colombe, and I noticed the- Oh, they have attitudes there, boy. Yeah, they do. There's a fancy coffee shop.

And I noticed the barista, some Puerto Rican looking guy, poured an entire cup of half and half of cream. Yeah. And then just poured it over ice. And then poured a single shot of espresso. No, and then poured a single shot of espresso. No, he hadn't poured a shot of espresso. It was just an entire cup of half-and-half cream. And I go, I'm sorry.

Is somebody doing a latte made of all half-and-half? Yeah, that's repulsive. That is repulsive, right? That is, at bare bare minimum reasonable to ask about yeah right like part of me was concerned he was making the wrong drink and he didn't even know he was making the wrong drink right that's not a crazy question to ask right i go is there a drink that's made with that and then he goes yes it's a babbity boobity bop but whatever the fuck it is like but like super like i should know about this fucking drink actual reenactment because right now i don't see him you made him sound like almost nice about it

uh he goes uh he goes uh yes it's embattabuto or whatever like something like italian like you should know this yeah yeah yes it's about but the booto and and uh yeah and i'm like hold on it's made with half and half entirely yes it's it's a paparabuto. And then just kind of like walks away. I linger to see what fucking animal was going to order that. And some bitch was drinking an entire fucking cup of half and half. Is that not insane?

That's repulsive, dude. I like just got in the coffee a month ago. And that sounds disgusting to me. Even a cup of milk is crazy, right? You ever just sit and watch people just drink a glass of milk and not just think? There's something off-putting about you being a grown person drinking milk by itself. I'm Hindu, so I'm not going to disrespect no cows up in here.

Yeah, I see where you're going. It's weird. It's not weird, but you're just looking at it like, it's a reasonable fucking question to ask if that's a fucking drink. Don't act like that's not reasonable. It's a fucking reasonable thing to ask. like that's not reasonable. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? 100%. It's a fucking reasonable thing

to act, it's like, if you're at a barbershop, right? Somebody's like, yo, just take all this off. No,

you know what it's like? It's if you're at a barbershop and then someone serves a fucking drink made out of half and half. That's how fucking absurd it is that you would drink out of a fucking thing

of half and half. And the fact that all you could say is, actually, yeah, it is kind of crazy. It's a rare drink, but some half and the fact that you all you could say is actually yeah it is kind of crazy it's you know rare drink but some people get it that's how you answer it right yeah or if you're saying you're in the service industry you're supposed to that's when you go into your bag well actually this half and half drink was made and yeah maybe i could get it next time maybe i I'll try that next time. Not to mention, I just paid $7 for a fucking oat milk latte. That cold brew? That draft?

No, no. I didn't even get the draft. I got an oat milk. It's mostly oat milk. And then they put the espresso in it. But I paid $6.50 each for that. I paid $13 for coffee. And then this guy gives me attitude about a question about half and half.

Was that La Coloma or Gregory's? No, it was La Coloma it wasn't this one I should have jumped over that fucking counter and I should have shoved his head underneath the espresso thing

and let that shit drip right in you're a barista got a lot of attitude bro and that's where my fucking I'm openly like I'm openly like

nah you don't you are a fucking barista you don't get to act like this I don't respect what you do you grind some fucking coffee beans you don't got no goddamn. You don't get to act like this. Yeah. I don't respect what you do. Yes. You grind some fucking coffee beans.

You don't got no goddamn education. You don't got a nice apartment. Don't talk to me like you're better than me. This is your skill set. I just did it. You can't see it. You can only see it if you watch it. This is your skill set.

I'll do it again. That's all you got to do. You don't even need two hands. Yo, the views and opinions of that of Andrew Schultz. I love coffee. I appreciate the baristas. I like everybody in Australia. Coffee's the only black thing that he likes.

I was waiting for somebody to touch that one. The second that white girl said she was from Blacktown, he's like, I'm out! Where the real white bitch is at? Any real white bitches out here? Oh, lordy, lordy, lordy. Oh, my gosh. Anyway, sorry for going on that little- Sorry for the tangents.

Son, I was just so infuriated, dog. I was so infuriated, dude. I almost hit my fucking drink over into the spot. I almost was like, oops, and spilled my whole shit up just so he'd have to clean it. Oops. So fucked up, son. It was early. I hadn't had any coffee yet.

I'm fucking jet lagged. I'm still on Australia time. Okay? The first time I'm actually engaging with like a waiter, I'm looking for some American service, and then I get some fucking- Well, that was some American service. You know what? You're goddamn right. It's in New York.

They're like, they know you need this. Yeah. What the fuck are you going to do? Not get your coffee? You addict. Humor me. He had no fucking, you know what? Honestly, I'm not surprised that he's Puerto Rican, had no energy or electricity in him at all.

You know what I'm saying? I'm surprised there was no electricity moving through. Wow. It was something like that. Had the wind knocked out of him. Zero lights on in that guy's body. That's all for nobody's home, god damn it. Shout out to Puerto Rico, y'all.

That's a hurricane joke, yeah. Shout out to all y'all. Y'all can't download it. Oh, fuck. You light up your old house with some bicycle out front, some kid peddling that shit like a fucking hamster wheel. That's why they're so loud. That's the only method of communication they got.

They got to keep the house on with kinetic energy. Salsa in the AC on. Just back and forth, baby. Back and forth. Oh, fuck. Send that music with a crank. Okay. All right.

Back. Back to what we're talking about. All right. We have more shit to talk about, guys. Come on. We got more shit to talk about. Let's do it. Okay Alright back Back to what we were talking about Alright We have more shit to talk about guys Come on Oh yeah We got more shit to talk about Let's do it

Let's talk Oh man Let's talk about it Yo I don't know if there's There's so many little NFL games But there's no stories that really caught me You know Vontaze Burfitt got suspended for the rest of the year You think he's done?

Oh he's out for the rest of the year Out for the rest of the year Suspended for the rest of the year Can we look at the hit? Yeah Um Alex can you pull up the hit? I thought it's possible the guy kind of like... Lowered in?

Yeah, lowered in, then Vontaze Burfeet hit him in the head. I don't know anything about tackling, obviously, but like... They did factor in his pass. And that's what it's based on. It's based on just dirty hit after dirty hit. They should. What you did, AB, 100% you should. 100% you should.

And he didn't really do him any favors when he walked off the field smiling and waving to the crowd. Oh, yeah, he got ejected from the game, and he just had a big grin on his face. Does he get paid? I don't think so. I don't think so. Oh, boy.

If he gets suspended, you don't get paid for those games. Or maybe you do. I don't know. I don't think you do. I feel like if he gets suspended without pay, they would mention that. Right. I may be totally wrong on here, but I think he only gets suspended without pay, they would mention that. Right. But I may be totally wrong on here,

but I think he only gets suspended without pay if there's something involved with the law. But, like, if you get suspended from the league, like, I still think you get paid. So he's happy. I'm sure he is. Don't get no CTE. That'll probably be his last check. He'd be giving CTE. He'd be giving that shit.

Why doesn't he ever get it? Maybe he got it. Maybe he got it. That's what I'm saying. He's got to have that shit. Why doesn't he ever get it? Maybe he got it. Maybe he got it. That's what I'm saying. He's got to have that shit. Because when you hit somebody, you're taking the same amount of force. Oh, yeah. Probably more.

And you probably don't even realize it since you're leading with that momentum. Yeah, you really editing this, man. What do we got going on? Oh, you got the clip? Yeah. Okay. They fucked up my... All right, here it is.

Bam. Yeah, headhunting. That wasn't even that bad, bro. Nah, that was a headhunt. And he checked on him afterwards. Like, are you good? I think. So here's the hit.

Oh, he's already down. He's already down. Bam, lead with the head. Okay, I didn't realize he was already down. And then he's getting back up, and it's just, yeah, unnecessarily. Yeah, it's a possession catch. He wasn't trying to become a runner. And three of the three people who had made the final decision,

I think, were all ex-NFL players, something like that. Jesus Christ. I mean, he dove headfirst into another guy's head. Yeah, 100%. I mean, that's headfirst into another guy's head. Yeah, 100%. I mean, that's fucking nuts, dude. Yeah, I don't think he's going to be in the league anymore. Is he that good? No, that's the thing.

He's not that good anymore. Yeah, he was really good for a bit, and then he kind of hung around this free agency. And I think Stephen A. Smith made this point. He's like, bro, they barely wanted you before. Next year, no one's going to want you. Like, you hung around for a while in free agency before Oakland finally signed you.

And after 12 games like this, you think anybody's going to want you next year? Rex Ryan said the same thing. He was like, he's not good anymore. And when you're not good, you need to have something about you. And his thing is like, I'm the guy who gets the dirty hits. I'm the guy who does this. Dude, can y'all fill me in about Rex Ryan and his... He's been getting spicy.

I mean, we've been in Australia, so we're missing the beef with him and Baker. He's spicy, but is he entertaining? Is he good? Is it offering value, or is he just... I mean, he offers a lot of insight. He offers good football insight, because he's a Ryan.

He's a lifelong football family and all that type of shit. I don't think he's as entertaining as he was when he was a coach. When he was just like, you know, give me the little press conference clip. Let me get the little hard knocks. Everyone's go get a fucking snack. Like, that's great. But when he has to talk like for minutes on minutes on subjects. He's not as entertaining as I thought he would be.

Yeah, exactly. And he might be trying to make up for that with more spicy talk. Probably. Somebody probably told him that shit. They were like, yo, you got to up the spicy shit. I don't think he was a great coach at all, but I think he's a savvy media person.

He knows how to be charismatic. He was a good defensive coach. He's a great defensive mind, good coordinator, but as a head coach, no, I didn't think he was great. But I also think, yeah, he knows how to rile people up. And that's what his dad did. Buddy Ryan was like, I mean, Buddy Ryan was a great, brilliant defensive mind also, but also would say some wild shit with the media,

calls little beefs here and there. And that's, I think, kind of what he's doing. Did Baker rebound because of Baker, or did he re- Did you watch the game? I didn't watch the game. I did not see that one, no. I think where I was the New England Patriots game was on and then the Detroit Lions and Cincinnati Bengals

game was on and then I had to go to the airport. I thought the Browns aren't going to be as good as everyone said. They're not going to be a Super Bowl team. I was just like, anytime in my memory a team gets hyped up i remember six seven years ago the eagles had michael vick signed vince young as a backup quarterback all these other free agency things i think vince young said we're

like the dream team i don't even think they made the playoffs that year right this always happens the nfl i thought they have a shot at the playoffs i don't think they're super bowl contenders i'm surprised they beat up on baltimore they did, but I also think this is an interesting story I want to follow. Odell Beckham didn't have a good game. And they won. And they won. Jarvis Landry had a good game. Yeah. And I think part of Baker's- Eight receptions, 167 yards, and Beckham was two receptions for 20 yards. Yo, thank you for the stats because I didn't know the exact stats, but I know part of the problem with the Browns, I think the main problem is probably the line. Also part of it, I think, is

Baker's trying to keep Odell happy. And I think as he stops doing that, they'll win more, but will Odell start griping? So let's have that kind of conversation because I think that's really interesting. Especially for even non-football fans. There's a tricky thing that happens with football,

right? Which doesn't really happen in other sports. Like in baseball, you're going to have your at-bats. Yeah. As long as you're in the lineup, you're going to have your at-bats. Yeah. Basketball, you're going to get your touches. Yeah. And even if you don't, you can get them in transition. You will touch the ball.

You will fucking touch the ball. Play some good D. Yeah. You can get a steal. Be active on the offensive glass. You can ways yeah rebound just find ways you can find ways to you know put yourself in the game in football if you're a wide receiver you get the ball if it's thrown at you if you're targeted and you can get targeted four times a game sometimes six times who knows so here's the thing let's say you're a decoy The whole year And your team wins

That's great for you But you get paid Based on your stats That's also true Nobody's paying you 200 million dollars To be a decoy And even just playing

Like backyard football If you're not getting The ball as a receiver It's so frustrating You're pissed And you know you're open More often than you get the ball So like

You might get two catches You might even open nine times that's not a ton but seven fucking times was open this guy missed me and i think that's part of why wide receivers are driven to be divas so much there's something about it that drives you crazy and you need attention or whatever but like i think odell is a big diva oh he's 100 of diva yeah how he reacts to this win is going to be very interesting especially if they keep winning like this and is he does he care enough about winning to sacrifice his personal stats because what i assume teams are doing and again i didn't watch the game but what i assume they're doing is they're loading up on odell yeah maybe i i think yeah this is this is this is my assumption

as for uh as to why uh why Chubb was so successful. Now, granted, Chubb had that 88-yard run. Yeah. And he'll do that. When he goes downhill. Yeah. He got a 91-yarder last year. He's like—

When he goes downhill— He's good, dude. Dude, corners couldn't catch him. Yeah. I remember someone asked, and nobody would have agreed to this in the NFL, but some patron was like, would you trade Zeke for Nick Chubb in a second? And I was like in a fucking heartbeat. A second round draft pick.

Nick Chubb in a second. Oh, oh, oh. And a second. Okay. And a second. Yeah. Because you're not taking too much down with Chubb, but you're also going to get- Saving money and getting a second round draft pick.

And he's good. He's good. I mean, if you can create a little bit of room for him to get to— I don't understand how you tackle a guy like that. Like, he's big. Yeah, he's a big dude. He's a big back. So what it seems to me happened is Baltimore prepared for the pass game,

and then they used the pass game as a decoy. I mean, I think Baker only threw the ball, you know, 30 times, which is not little. That's a good number, I think. That's where he should be. Basically, the whole offense isn't on you. Right. But you would think when you have Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham Jr.

And is there anybody else? They had a good tight end in Joku, but I think he's out for the year. Oh. What happened? He got hurt. Okay. Was he with the Eagles or some shit like that? No, he was the draft pick for them

David and Joker Or something out of Miami Okay So Basically It seems to me A situation like that It was like

Okay let's prepare for the air And then they just started Running this kid Right And he broke out for a big one So maybe outside of that big run He had ADRs Or something like that

He had three touchdowns too He was fucking Yeah he was going And Baltimore's defense is good. It's a solid defense. So maybe they are starting to find their identity. Maybe it's not in the air. Maybe you ride this fucking kid.

Yeah. As much as you can. And the second they start to stack the box and let Jarvis and Odell, the second they loosen up on Jarvis and Odell and you can go long. Yeah. Yeah. So you watch the game, Cass. Yes.

We were just talking about the effectiveness of nick chubb and then if if odell is actually better off as a decoy on that team then he is a best game odell's played in in a year in a year tell me every single if you look at and mind you the the ravens defense has been you know left much be desired. They've given up 500 yards in the past two games. So they're not like the old school knock you on your ass Ravens. Right. But if you look at any of those big plays, every time Odell was going anywhere, he was running little short curl routes, sending people long. He was dragging two defenders, three defenders every single time.

So you see Baker Mayfield put up some pretty good completion percentages. He was getting nice quick routes. It wasn't no big bomb touchdowns or anything like that that's what opened up that big huge what 87 yard run from nick chubb after that and if odell is who he says he is which all all year long he's talked about when he did the fucking interview on espn on sports center he's like yo i just want win. I don't care if I get no catches, no calls, whatever. I just want to win. That's what will make him a better player. Like knowing that you could win games with him, not becoming a fucking distraction,

fucking doing what's the best for the team right now. Because Jarvis Landry is just as good as Odell Beckham. Cooking. Just as good as Odell. And that's your man. So if you can't swallow your pride and be a decoy for him, you know. That's the hope is that's his boy. So maybe he won't feel any type of way.

I don't know. My theory, my prediction is he'll be fine all year. When they lose, if it's early in the playoffs or they don't make it to the playoffs and he doesn't have a big game, you'll start to hear a little shit come out from him. What is the saying? Winning. Winning cures everything. Winning is the best deodorant. That's the one I always have. That's another one.

It is. But yeah, winning cures everything. Winning is the best deodorant, whatever it is. I think it's easy to check your ego when you're winning. Of course. And I think the second they lose. Yeah. The second they lose, all that built up frustration from not being targeted is going to come out

I just think it's inside him he doesn't know how to get rid of it but at least Baker had a game where he looked solid or no he looked solid Baker's going to be fine I think Baker's going to be a good quarterback quarterbacks are going to go through ups and downs Kaz always talks about the second year they got tape on you I think his line is not good

so that's the other thing if you don't have a good line and you have two guys that are actual downfield threats don't's the other thing If you don't have a good line And you have two guys That are actual Downfield threats Don't matter how good you are You don't got time To get it out You don't got time

To get it out of your hand Now The way And again A great football mind Would know what to do In this situation But if you do have

Like a running threat Do you do a lot of play action How do you create Play action is a good way Because That's what Dak is really good At play action

Because Ezekiel Elliott Is such a threat That the second he pretends To hand to Ezekiel Elliott, they'll take one split second to freeze and look at him. And that's all it takes in the NFL is that one stop. Oh, it's fake. And then you can get a 60, 80-yard touchdown out of that. One of those double moves on a play action, if they bite and you got a deep threat, that's what you're hoping for. Yeah, you froze the safety like Cass said. Oh, you're freezing the safety on the play action, if they bite and you got a deep threat, that's what you're hoping for. Yeah, you froze the safety like Cass said.

Oh, you're freezing the safety on the play action and the linebackers on a cross run. I thought it was linebacker, but you're freezing everybody. The only reason why it helps the line

is because a lot of times when they play action, they bootleg a little bit. So you're not just backing up. You're getting a little runoff too. Yeah, you're getting a little away from the, you know.

So let's say I'm Dak Prescott I fake a handoff to Ezekiel Elliott he goes left everybody for a split second goes left and then if I run a like a bootleg

where I keep the ball and kind of run out to the right yeah yeah I have all this real estate there's no lineman in my face I can see the field clearly and I can and then you have your one guy

who you hopefully you have him on single coverage yeah or you hopefully have shifted the safety away enough. And there's times where they're not fooled and you still got your back to give it to. Like if nobody's open or the line's not fooled

or safety's not fooled, they're still coming to you. You still got the guy who just faked the handoff too to either do a quick screen or pass or whatever. So maybe they find their identity through that. I mean, Baker is mobile. This guy can, you know, he's an athlete. Yeah. I think people really gave Baker a lot of shit.

You said he was average multiple times. You be on Twitter like he's mids. I was one of them. I was one of them, bro. You are. This week I was looking at your Twitter saying it. I absolutely am one of them. I think he earned a shit.

You know what I mean? Like the first couple of games he was putting up wild numbers. And, yeah, he's earned a shit. You know what I mean? Like the first couple of games, he was putting up wild numbers. And, yeah, he's earned the criticism. Right. And when you talk about mid, like, yes, he is mid. I can name 14 quarterbacks that I take before him. There's 30 teams in the NFL. That is by definition you are mid.

Oh, if I'm building a team, he's in the top ten I take, I think. Really? Yeah. I mean, if you're doing a fantasy draft and you're picking a quarterback to build a team around, maybe you'd take him first, but I don't know. What about this kid, Gardner Minshew? I fucking love this redneck. Again, we missed all this shit.

We're away for two weeks. The first game, Nick Foles breaks his collarbone. That's like a 10-week injury at least. This kid, Gardner Minshew, six-round draft pick, I think. Out of what school Do you remember Mississippi Central Washington State

Oh I thought it was like Some weird little school The Wazoo The Wazoo skis Or whatever the fuck That's Missouri No Well he's from

He went to Washington State Okay Same school Clay Thompson went to Okay And apparently he played well And then I just I saw his stats

They looked alright And people were just like No this kid is good And I was like What are you talking about He won the golden arm award In college As one of the best quarterbacks Apparently he played well Is what everybody's saying I was saw his stats. They looked all right, and people were just like, no, this kid is good. And I was like, what are you talking about? He won the Golden Arm Award in college as one of the best quarterbacks. Apparently he played well is what everybody was saying. I was like, his stat line didn't look crazy.

I don't know. Whatever. I don't know. Second week, same thing. They lost again, but everybody's saying he looks good. I think the second week. Then they beat the shit out of the Titans on Thursday Night Football a week and a half ago. And then last week, they're playing the Broncos.

They're down 24-23, and then he drives the Jags down for the game-winning field goal. And this guy is good. Fell to the sixth round, I think because he looks like a country-ass boy. He scored a 42 on his wonderlick, which is like a crazy high score. Interesting. Had great stats in college. Got tons of moxie.

This just seems like a guy. He's a moxie guy. He's got the moxie award right now. But you know what his moxie guy. He's a Moxie guy. He got the Moxie award right now. But you know what his Moxie is? It's intelligent Moxie. Yeah, it seems like it. Like, he knows what he's doing. Everything is specific. Like, the short shorts, the cut-off jean shorts.

The mustache. You're too young to not know what you're doing. Oh, okay. Like, short jean shorts are a thing of, like, our parents' time. Right, right, right. So you're reflecting upon that, which means you have to be aware that it was something cool during, like, you know, Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Like, the guy is smart. When I looked at him and I saw the way that he leaned into the character and he's leaning into the absurdity of it, I think he's a guy who's very aware. Self-aware. Yes, aware not only of who he is, but how people perceive him. Well, I don't think it's a perception. I think that's a guy who's very aware. Self-aware. Yes, aware not only of who he is, but how people perceive him. Well, I don't think it's a perception. I think that's who he is.

His name is Gardner Minshew II, and I think his dad's name was Lucas or something. Right. What I'm saying is you can't be that without choosing to be that. Cut off jean shorts is a cultural thing of the past. Yes. So you are choosing to lean into this past kind of like hippie look or whatever. And I think the reason why people are really on him is because of the Tom Brady comparisons. Oh, six rounds.

So it was like, I'll read something that's from a yard barker. It's very early to make these kind of bold pronouncements, yet some comparisons have been made to Tom Brady. After all, both were selected in the sixth round. Minshew, who played at Washington State from Mike Leach, was picked 178th, Brady 199th. They both got the shot early in the career when the established star went down with injury. Yada, yada, yada, a bunch of other shit.

500 record to top of the division. I mean, the thing that separates Brady is the go gene that Charlemagne talked about that I think is mental. Brady got that. I don't know if Gardner Minshew got that. Well, Gardner led the NCAA in passing yards

and touchdowns last year. Yeah, I'm just saying the insatiable work ethic. Oh, his first year rookie? Yeah, he's a rookie. Yeah, he's drafted this year. You know, there was an interesting play

I was watching with him where he was kind of scrambling in the pocket and then he throws his touchdown. Did you guys see that play? No, I did not. I mean...

Yeah, the fucking Eurost step like two. I didn't know you could Euro step in that. It was impressive. It was very impressive like footwork and also like there was agility in it. But I'm curious to see what happens with this kid. I think he's very aware of how he's perceived and I think he's leaning into it. And the thing about it is like dressing like that and acting like that in a football locker

room you have to be incredibly confident with yourself right because you were dealing with alpha male ball busters yeah and you're walking in with cut off jean shorts a little mustache you have to be supremely confident in who you are to deal with 260 pound muscle-bound motherfucking alpha males ready to rip you to shreds yeah you have to know who you fucking are dude yeah so like this guy's this guy knows he what he's got so much so that they're thinking jalen ramsay's gonna stay what like he was like they were ready to trade him is jalen playing uh he didn't play last week because of a bad back and personal issues i think he's whatever but now jalen's like i want to play if we can win.

Well, they're trying to convince him, like, hey, this kid's actually pretty good. They're trying to trade him. Well, everybody thinks they didn't get any great offers for him. So they're like, all right, well, we're just not going to trade him. And he'll change his mind or he won't. And they still keep winning. Why would you not want to jump all the way? Yeah, exactly.

Interesting. I think it was something with him and his coach, right? They got into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why he went to the Dome. I'm not sure he's super well-liked. It doesn't seem like he is. No.

But if you keep winning. Tom Coughlin was hated with the Giants. Until they won. And he had to change some things. I remember the year before they won, he had a meeting with Strahan and a couple other people, and they were like, what can we do? How can we make this work?

And then he was like, okay, I'll lighten up a bit and then they won the fucking super bowl i'm not saying doug marone does that but i also am saying tom cloughlin's a gm so if your players don't like you he could just be like i've been there he's been there yeah he's been there definitely here's how you can fix it or i don't give a fuck just work through it interesting yeah interesante all right what else we got um we could talk about uh basketball's in the air oh my god thank god now did you guys see james harden's attempt at his new shot no i don't even get why it's effective so essentially what he has is this so i i spoke to some basketball buddies about this and and what they came up with was that it is the step-back equivalent

of the right-hand, right-foot layup. The right-hand, right-foot layup is sometimes in order to catch a defender off guard, when you're going for a layup, you'll actually jump off your first planting foot. Usually like a Eurostep. No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about you ever have to see someone go to the basket and they do like a Eurostep. No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about, you ever have to see someone go to the basket

and they do like a quick layup? Yeah. Little guys do it all the time to avoid the block, right? Because usually, yes. Because usually what it is is you step on the right foot, step on your left, leap off your left, and then lay it up with your right hand. But sometimes it'll just be step at the right

and then throw it up one arm because you're just trying it'll just be step at the right and then throw it up one arm because you're just trying to get it up quick. Because anything that throws the defender off in their timing will allow you to get the shot off. And basically what they said to me was, what we think he's trying to do is just throw the defender off. The defender's thinking it's going to be one, two,

and then jump, and it's just one. But shooting a three, a fadeaway three, jumping off the left foot with your left hand. I don't understand it. I mean, my thing is like James Harden didn't have an issue getting a shot off already. So why change it? He didn't need another thing.

Like he had the most unstoppable perimeter shot in basketball. Yeah. Again, my point't need another thing. My point is, couldn't you have spent an entire summer getting in better shape and focusing on defense?

Yeah. Like, I would have respected James Harden so much more if he came back fucking ripped to shreds. Like, yo,

I'm not breaking down in the playoffs again. Like, I changed my diet. I'm fucking walking around like fucking Julius Randle. I cut out booze and strippers. I respect

that. I've seen that your focus is something different than your team winning. Your focus is on I want to become the most prolific scorer to ever live, which is a great goal to have.

Like, you want to have those signature shots. You want people to be like, oh, MJ fadeaway, Dirk fadeaway, fucking Iverson, Harden. Like, that's your goal. You want people to go Harden and ball in streetball courts with left hand, left fucking fadeaway walking three. I don't know. Mission accomplished. Yeah, it's fadeaway walking three. I don't know. Mission accomplished.

Yeah, it's already done, man. Yeah. He had the step back. He had a one-legged fucking three-pointer. I just. He had a super illegal step back that became legal. He doesn't need another move. What else are you trying to do, dude?

There's no way to say this without sounding like a giant hater, and maybe I am. But I just don't. I'm like, I felt like there was different focuses you could have had this offseason. Yeah. And who knows? Maybe he did have this focus, but... Judging by those shirtless boxing pictures, I don't think he spent the summer getting in shape.

And that's fine if you want to be out of shape and you're still great. It's just like, bro, I think you would be a better player in the playoffs if you were a little lighter and focused on that. And if that's your goal, that's probably the way to take it. He's got a load to carry. You know what?

He's getting all this criticism. It'd be really funny if he just came out and he was like, when did I ever say I wanted to win? I said that? I would respect that. I said that on ESPN? I said I really want to win No I like getting buckets

I respect that I like getting triple doubles That's my goal here I don't care about winning Like you guys are putting this on me I'm here to have fun This is fun for me I'd be really

Cause he never has come out And bitched about not winning Like Russell Westbrook He bitches about not winning It kills him Yeah So there are things That we could criticize

We could say Yo Russ you could do this if you're trying to win. James ain't never once been upset. The only thing he said after the playoffs was, I know what we need to do to get past the next round. And then, like, two weeks later, Chris Paul gets traded. But, like, he never really went out and said, like— Did they ask him?

He just said, I know what we need to do. Yeah, they asked him, like, you know, does it get frustrating after you keep losing to the same team every year and yada, yada, yada. He didn't say, I need to focus. He didn't say, I need to do this and that. He just said, I know what I need to do. And then got quiet after that. He said, I know what I need to do? I think it was, I know what we need to do.

I think it was, I know what we need to do. Yeah. But, I don't know. I know what we need to do. The exact same shit. It's still going do. Yeah. But, I don't know. I know what we need to do. The exact same shit. It's still going to be my favorite duo in the NBA this year. It's going to be interesting. We'll see what happens.

I'm excited to see it. Instant league pass team, those guys. Some dancing. Finally, Russell Westbrook has a dance buddy that isn't like a fringe NBA player. Right. It was always a guy who was- Like Cameron Payne. Yeah.

Three weeks out of the D-League. Three weeks out of playing in China. And finally finally he has another elite player that he can dance with. It'll be good. My gosh. There was a lot of NBA media talk this week. About?

I mean, it was media day for a lot of NBA teams, so it's the official start of the NBA season. When does the preseason start? Well, there was a preseason game last night. The Rockets played the Shanghai Sharks. But that was fake preseason. Yeah. When does the preseason start? Well, there was a preseason game last night. The Rockets played the Shanghai Sharks. But that was like fake preseason. Yeah. When is preseason?

I want to say it's usually like mid-October. Usually like the next week or two. I think they've got to be starting in the next week. Probably sooner. Yeah. The start of the season is the end of October, right? Yeah. First game is usually right after Halloween.

I wish they would just push that shit to Christmas opening day and then play through baseball season. I don't know why that's so fucking funny. Yeah, the first... It feels like the games from October to December are like long preseason games. It's preseason, yeah. Yeah, but at least there's some fun shit to talk about.

Yeah. 100%. I just love basketball. Opening night is lit, you know what I mean? And then it just kind of dwindles off again until Christmas, and then that's when the real season starts. Yeah, but also just having basketball and football at Christmas, and then that's when the real season starts. That's when every game matters.

Yeah, but also just having basketball and football at the same time, it's just the best. I love it. Anything else before we get up out of here? Lonzo and LeVar may be beefing. I kind of ran through this with y'all earlier, but. What else? You want to talk about that?

Errol Spence fight. Izzy got a fight coming up. Oh, yeah. We got to shout out Izzy. Shout out Izzy, bro. Shout out my guy, Izzy. Iz Spence fight. Izzy got a fight coming up. Oh, yeah. We got to shout out Izzy. Shout out Izzy, bro. Shout out my guy, Izzy. Izzy two belts. Izzy two belts.

I was hanging around with Izzy's, the guy he partners up with for the company Engage, which is the clothing company, and his buddy. It might be his manager, too, Ash. the um clothing company and his buddy it might be his manager too ash and um when we were in perth he came out to the show and he was the guy that told me the line on your back and wet up yeah and then the sizzling the slit and um and yeah man like he says izzy's just killing it man i've been talking a little bit with izzy and he just said he says feeling really fucking good he's locked in and and it's just going down dude man i'm so excited i mean big fight espn talking a little bit with Dizzy, and he just said he's feeling really fucking good. He's locked in, and it's just going down, dude, man. I'm so excited.

Big fight, ESPN+. He took a little break before this fight, right? Yeah, he had to, man. Because he's been fighting for a while, and he's just like. The last fight was a fight. Oh, yeah. But, you know, he's looked good. I've seen a lot of his pre-training, his training workouts and shit like fucking that espn fight

i mean god damn i mean the guy he's fighting is no scrub no no whittaker's no scrub he's a he's a good counter puncher but um i was looking at some stuff for him he's a good counter puncher and he's strong but he gets hit and the problem is is that izzy is an elite striker like he's not one of these ufc guys that like learned how to strike after you got into mma because you have like a wrestling background or jiu-jitsu background you like learn how he learned he knows striking this in his blood right he's had fucking nine boxing matches this This guy knows how to strike. And then he learned how to stop takedowns and the other stuff. Right? So you're in there with a bad motherfucker.

And if these other guys have touched you, is he going to touch you? Yeah. So it's a matter of time. It's like how many touches can you take? You know what was cool? I was on ESPN yesterday, front page, and whoever he's fighting. Robert Whitaker. Yeah. Can Whitaker.

Yeah. Can Whitaker handle Adesanya's accuracy or something like that? Simple as that. It was cool because that's what Izzy talked about the first time he was here. Everybody else can punch as hard as they want to. I punch accurately. Yeah. My punch, you're going to feel it more.

And then to see that on the front page of ESPN.com, it was dope to see the ascension. Manifest that shit, dog. I'm a champ for a reason, man. So I can't wait to see it. I hope all the assholes go check it out. Support that motherfucker. We almost stayed another week. You should have. I thought that was the move.

I was wondering. I was going to go crazy. I was going to go crazy. I was already shaking his head. He's like, nah, nah. It was time to go. Can't be more boring than FaceTime and women. That's what I was telling him.

My mom. But no, I was talking to Ash about it. I was like Man We're so close Because the fight's in Melbourne We're in fucking Melbourne And it's like Should we stay one more week

And they're like Yo listen We're going to have you sorted We'll get you seats We'll get you everything I'm like Bruh It was close man

It was close It was the right thing to go back But it was fucking close They're going to put 80,000 people in the In the like arena Sure dude So the biggest UFC gate in history Really Yeah Wow Dude Australians are great sports fans It was the right thing to go back, but it was fucking close. They're going to put 80,000 people in the arena. Sure, dude. It's the biggest UFC gate in history.

Really? Yeah. Wow. Dude, Australians are great sports fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would just be a fucking cultural event. Because Izzy is obviously from New Zealand. Right.

And Robert Whitaker is from Australia. Oh, fuck. So it's like a little- Yeah, a little- What is that area called? Australasia beef or something like that. Anyway, it's going to be good. But anyway, best wishes to Izzy.

Here's one question I have for you as a fight fan in general. God, I can't even remember the guy's name. Who's the gypsy boxer? What's his name? Oh, Gypsy King, Tyson Fury. Tyson Fury. Last Tyson Fury fought I watched, he had taken a long break. And they said he needs to eat some rounds.

Like it was good that he had to go 10 rounds. Yeah. Because you need that. Does Izzy need to, like, this thing to go long? And does he need a couple rounds to warm up? I don't think so because I think what they say is when they say eat rounds, they're like, you need to put in rounds because you might be in a fight that goes the distance and you want to know that you can go the distance.

That you can go. Because a fight is different than training even if you try to train so hard like you know what they'll do is they'll put a new guy in every single round yeah and he's fresh and you're not to like keep your cardio but even then you got the headgear on they're not going 110 it's like you cannot recreate what a fight is and but is his fight last fight went to distance that's the thingzy's last fight went to distance. That's the thing. Izzy's last fight went five. So he's ready for five. He had the gas tank for five. He was going for it.

This guy who he's about to fight, gas is out. And has he gone five recently? I think he went five against Yoel Romero. I think they had two fights where it went both times and they were both disputed. Point is, I think they had two fights where it went both times

and they were both disputed. But the point is, I think that, no, his cardio is on point. His cardio is on point. This fight is really going to be about who's going to touch each other and how are they going to get touched.

So you don't think he goes the full five? You think somebody goes down first? I think that, this is my suspicion of the fight. I think that this is my suspicion of the fight i think that uh we're gonna see whitaker's how whitaker's chin holds up because i think izzy's gonna touch him so i think it's izzy touches him and then i think as long as it stays on his feet i don don't know shit about wrestling or jiu-jitsu or any of that kind of shit. So if it goes to the ground, I don't know what the fuck's going to happen.

But if they both just stand up, I think Izzy touches him, I think Izzy touches him, and I think Izzy gets him out of there the third. Third or fourth. Just because I think Robert would start to slow down, and Izzy doesn't seem to get tired in those rounds at all. As we know from the gas slum, he was throwing crazy amount of punches in round five. So it's like, I think that's what happens. It's going to wear.

When you get fucking touched and then it starts to get precise, you start thinking. Once you start thinking, oh, fuck, I'm getting hit. And he's not jurying. And he's not jurying. They're like 95 and 0 in the UFC or something like that. They're doing good. I think he'll be all right. They're doing good. There was a good be all right. They're doing good.

There was a good boxing match, that Errol Spence fight. I missed it. I was just watching clips, but Errol Spence and Sean Porter. God bless Sean Porter. This guy can make an interesting fight that he loses. He fights, man. He fights. Every time I see him on the card, I know it's going to be a good fight.

Dude, this guy fucking goes out there, and he busts his ass. Shout out to my boy Big E. He trained so hard. He did the intro for him. Oh, sick. From the New Day, yeah. Hit him with the, oh. Oh, that did the intro for him. Oh, sick. From the New Day, yeah. Hit him with the, oh, Los Angeles. Yeah, dude, Sean Porter, man.

I mean, I love Errol. I think the thing with Errol is that he looked weak in there, and I think making weight is very difficult for him. And he said after the fight that he, like, ballooned up 25 pounds, and then he just cut it in camp no nutritionist no like weight training

and it's like dude you're a professional fighter like you you don't put on 25 pounds you stay close to your fucking fight weight you're eating right all the time

maybe have a little few beers and shit afterwards but right back into it like this is not the time to play he just looked weak and Sean who's who's smaller, just looked stronger. He looked like he could bully him. And it was interesting. They had a little beef after the fight.

They were just kind of yapping, and I'd love to see a rematch of that. We're going to get it. We're going to get it. Errol's a Dallas boy, right? The Fox is bugging, though, man. They got to pay a lot of money for that fight. They did. What did they pay

no I mean like it was like it was on like Fox pay-per-view like I couldn't like watch the Zone or ESPN Plus none of that shit

I'm like I'm just so spoiled from pay-per-views now like there's so many streaming opportunities I'm like I'm not paying $75 for this fucking fight

but you know it's what it is well before we get out of here why don't we throw some little dates yup you wanna go first buddy if you want yeah go ahead But, you know, it is what it is. Well, before we get out of here, why don't we throw some little dates? Yep, yep.

You want to go first, buddy? If you want. Yeah, go ahead. All right. Let's wrap this up. It's good to be back with you guys. Before we leave, why don't we say some dates? I know we all got some shows coming up, man.

Once again, Australia, thank you so much. I appreciate you you We got some Cool announcements About other shows Outside of the country Coming But In the meantime

We got some very big shows Coming up Theandrewschultz.com Is where you can get the tickets We're gonna be In New York Most of October But

We are going to Palm Beach The Palm Beach Improv That's the 26th of October. Then we're out to the West Coast, Chico, California, November 1st, Sacramento, November 2nd. It's sold out. November 3rd, early shows sold out. We added a late show. So late show, November 3rd, you can get that. Then we're coming back To Connecticut Norwalk Then Boston New York City

Seattle It keeps going Theandrewshows.com More dates added Make sure you go check it Akash what you got? October 11th That is next Friday

We are in Minneapolis At Sisyphus Brewing Two shows 8 and 1030 The next day in Detroit We are at the Independent Comedy Club 9pm That's October 12th November 7th through 9th We're in San are at the Independent Comedy Club at 9pm that's October 12th

November 7th through 9th we're in San Diego at the American Comedy Club November 14th November 10th we are at the Tempe Improv that's a Sunday

come through November 14th the Hartford Funny Bone also one last announcement I'm planning this wedding these motherfuckers are criminals but I'd rather pay y'all

so if you got some shit you do for weddings just holler at me I'd much rather pay an asshole than pay those assholes. I hear that. October 12, 2019, Ducey Palooza is rolling through D.C. for Howard Homecoming. Jay Murphy, DJ Scream, DJ Academics. Not that one.

DJ C-Styles wears nasty in DJ schemes. At Echo Stage, starting from 8 p.m. from 8pm to 2am we will be announcing performers sometime this week get your tickets on dusaypalooza.com slash

tickets also if you like porn I like porn well are you doing this you'll like our guest that's coming

in a couple weeks oh wow we'll give you some more information about that soon but I'm sure you'll hear about it that's been another episode of Flagrant 2. No easy buckets analysis by assholes. Water cooler commentary for your

sports needs. I don't know why I did the intro with the outro, but that's what we do. I've been away for a couple weeks. Love y'all. Peace. Keep it tight.