Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Once Upon a Time in Russia

Episode Date: September 10, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, Kaz and Alexx discuss: Antonio Brown, Nick Foles injury, is Dak a good or bad problem for The Cowboys, Andrew's trip to Russia, and much more. Indulge!!! Want ANOTHER episode every week? Become a Patron. www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2

What's up everybody and welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2 No easy buckets analysis by assholes Water cooler commentary for your sports needs I'm Andrew Schultz I'm here with Akash Singh Of course Kaz is late We got Alex Media in the building Ed and not here

Ed and in Mexico Doing some shit on Mole I just want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Adam and Eve. Okay. Adamandeve.com, your one-stop shop for all your sexual desires on the internet. That's right. All right. If you want to get some condoms, get some lube, get some sex toys, get some videos, whatever you need, you don't have to go to a store in person. You just go to adamandeve.com and you order that up and you can use our special offer code flagrant, F-L-A-G-R-A-N-T, flagrant at checkout and you get some free stuff. That's right. Free stuff to spice up your bedroom. Select almost

any one item at 50% off and then Adam and Eve is going to load on the free stuff. Enter the offer code flagrant and you get 10 tantalizing free gifts a sexy item for him a special gift for her and a third item that you'll both enjoy and six spicy movies look at all that free stuff that's flagrant go do that now this episode of flagrant 2 is also brought to you by nba 2k 20 this isn't a game. This is the place the game comes to learn. That's right. With next level graphics, gameplay, player control, and customization, NBA 2K20 continues to redefine what's possible in sports gaming. All right. Plus, with its immersive open world neighborhood, 2K20 is a platform for players to come together and create what's next in culture.

It also creates lateness for podcast hosts, most likely. Hosts, I wanted to say. Butchered my own joke. Play NBA 2K20 today. That's NBA 2K20. Welcome to what's next. Let's get into the show. As we do on Brilliant Idiots, we have church announcements.

We have some church announcements here on a podcast. Absolutely. The tour, the Matador tour continues. Obviously, Alex and I are just getting back from Russia. We got back yesterday. We'll talk about that later on a podcast. But right now, Matador tour continues. We got Australia coming up next week. Flying out there, very excited, doing Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney, I think another place.

We're just going all over the country, man. It is so fucking cool that we get the opportunity to do this. Shows have been selling out. We've been adding more shows. So if you weren't able to get tickets for the first show, make sure you go now and get them. Theandrewschultz.com. This is going to be the only time I'm performing Matador tour in Australia. So this is your one chance to go catch this specific tour.

Yeah, I'm stoked about that. And then also New York show sold out. That's amazing. I got some ideas about what we're going to do with that. But I think Boston Show is sold out. Might be a couple tickets. Seattle Show is almost sold out. Get on that right now.

Go to theandrewschultz.com. I think Sacramento is almost sold out. Go to theandrewschultz.com right now. Get your tickets. I hate to tell you this every single week, but every time I come into a market and the shows sell out, people are upset. I didn't fucking warn you every single week to go get the tickets ahead of time for months. So go to TheAndrewShows.com right now, look at your city, and then buy the ticket for that show.

And then you won't miss it out. Bookmark his webpage and just check once a week. Just check it out. See if you come into your city. That's it. We're adding new shows all the time. So that's me, Akash. Speaking of adding shows.

Oh, shit. I'm going to be. Well, first, let me tell you. This Thursday, I'm in San Francisco at Piano Fight. Two shows, 8 o'clock and 1030. The 19th of September, I will be in L.A. in the Comedy Store Belly Room at 8 p.m. Very excited about that show. The next day, I'm in Portland at Curious Comedy at 730 p.m.

Minneapolis, October 11th. Sisyphus Brewing, two shows, 8 and 10.30. We just added The Independent in Detroit, October 12th. Showtime TBD. I will let you guys know exactly when we just locked this down. And then September 7th through September 9th, San Diego. I'm at the American Comedy Club. Get tickets at my website, akashsingh.com.

Shouts to everybody who came to the Big Dizzy Energy Tour kickoff in Texas. How'd it go? It was fucking dope. It was cool? We got the greatest fans on earth. Even like the openers, the feature, the headliner, everybody was like, your fans are incredible. Yep.

They just get it, dude. They're there to laugh. They're there to have fun. It's not. It's just the best. Here he is. Look who came to join fun. It's not. It's just the best. Here he is. Look who came to join us. How you doing?

I have the most first world problems today, bro. Yo, I got a latte sitting here that I bought for you. This shit is melting. Oh, I love that. It's okay. We're not going to give any attention to this. So continue, Akash. Just the best shows, man.

Everybody was hyped to be there. We sold out the first show in Austin. Second show was super dope, like a Sunday crowd. Great. Sunday crowd that was with it. Where was the show in Austin? The Fallout Theater. I don't know. Yeah. We're booking our own

spaces out right now. That's great. Taping and building. But you're also doing clubs, too, now. We're doing clubs, too. We're getting some clubs, too. Yeah. Shouts to TJ and Mark Walter. Good, good. Shouts to TJ. Yeah, he told me that you guys were doing clubs too now. We're doing clubs too. We're getting some clubs too. Yeah. Shout out to TJ and Mark Walter. Good. Good. Shout out to TJ. Yeah, he told me that you guys were cooking up some shit, so that's good.

Yeah, that's right. But keep on supporting Akash, man. Fun, man. The issue is in every city. So Sam Fran, holler at me if you gots. If you're shooting and you want a shot. Reach out. Yep.

Reach out. I got – oh, keep going. Keep going. You got some more to go. That's it. That's the dates for now. But big What is it

It's akashsingh.com Big Day C Energy Tour Make sure you support that And yeah I love the feedback I love people posting I love the pics And everything like that

I see that you're doing it That's great And keep posting all the clips Get that going I think this is It's definitely making some moves It's Tuesday today So I want to give an announcement

To Bill Burr Bill Burr. Bill Burr's special is dropping today. We're recording this Monday, but this is coming out Tuesday. And Bill Burr's special, and listen, you know, he's one of the living goats, man.

And I've seen some of the material. He's really going for it. And I mean, if you thought that Chappelle's was flagrant, buckle up. You know what I mean? Because Chappelle don't touch Burr's flagrancy.

Chappelle is bigger. He's more famous. So I think like when he says something flagrant, it touches more people. So it seems like a bigger deal. And that will be consistent with this special. But when you want to talk about just a seriously flagrant opinion. Let's flex the goof. And that's not a shot at Chappelle.

That is a big up to Burr. No, no. It's not a shot at Chappelle. That is a big up to Burr. No, no. Yeah, it's not a shot at either one. Anybody who doesn't get a twist. It's just, yeah. Burr is the fucking. No, no. He's just a wild motherfucking boy.

And he operates on his own island. You know what I mean? Like, you know, Burr. And similar to how Chappelle is, you know, how we operate as well, which is essentially like Burr sells tickets that's what pays for shit you know he'll do a cartoon for netflix or he'll do like a spot on a show breaking bad but that's not paying the bills that's because like the dream when you're i guess maybe younger is to do one of these shows what pays the bills is doing these fucking arenas and

theaters filling the house and um it's it was really cool to accompany his special that's coming out did you guys see what he's putting out so it dropped today it's a three-part vlog series of the different cities that he went to in uh in europe as he went on the tour i was showing alex i showed you alex you know what i mean so i just want to point out you know to all the haters that said that we had any influence on the goats you know i said that we were influential and like you know what what what comedy was right now when chapelle came out and i some people who didn't get it gave me a little pushback you know what i mean but now i want you to show when you have the other goat bill out there right now you're doing a vlog series i mean like you know what what do we have what we have with views? I'm just saying If anybody's watching Like just watch

Views from the 6 That's it That's it That's all I mean it's so That's what I'm saying Just watch it All these jokes about

Trainers are so crazy Just watch views from the 6 You know what I mean? It's just It's not a big deal All I'm saying Look Talk your shit kings

That's All I'm trying to say is this And I realized this shit early Is that Don't get me wrong So many of y'all Know what's going on And y'all support it And y'all ride to say is this is and and i and i realized this shit early is that don't get me wrong so so many of y'all know what's going on and y'all support it and y'all ride and i understand there's few that don't and i don't say it's like push it in your face or anything like that but what i'm trying

to say is like everybody's crazy until they have a following yeah you know what i'm saying like when you're the first to like say something, you're crazy until other people believe it. And then if enough people believe it, you're not crazy no more. It's like, that is the truth. Right. And it's just like right now,

clearly we're at the bare minimum. People are paying attention. Oh no, no, no, no. Even bare minimum. That's maximum.

People are paying attention. That's maximum people are paying attention. That's maximum. Bare minimum, the barest of minimums, is we're doing it first. You're first to market. That's it. Bare minimum, we're first to market. That's undeniable. Can't say that.

Bare minimum. Maximum people are paying attention. Either way, I'm just grateful that we can be pushing this comedy thing in the right direction because comedy is in such a fucking amazing place right now with you know chapelle burr all that yeah yeah when it comes to you guys and the content you're pushing out is that like you're gonna get pushback from people that don't want to admit that you were kind of first to market oh sure anything sure doesn't matter if it's fucking sneaker designs. Sure. Like the first person sees it is like, oh, he's arrogant.

Oh, he's doing this. Oh, he's doing that. And I'm one of them that does it. Yeah. Right now, Kobe put out them fucking low tops back in the day. And I was like, you wouldn't catch me dead wearing basketball low tops. He was the first to do it. And now I'm wearing these fucking low tops right now. I would never play basketball in them.

But that's just me. I'll take a little late. We're all guilty of this shit. Listen, we're all guilty of this shit. It's natural, so I don't resent any of it. All I want to do is keep on pushing dope fucking content out, man. Hell yeah. I was just on the phone earlier today with the stand-up guy at YouTube.

You know what I mean? And, like, I'm trying to implement changes in YouTube to make it even more friendly for stand-up comics. Oh, how so? I want ticketing directly on the video. So if you're watching my video in Russia and I got a show in Russia, I want you to watch. Now, they have that for musicians. Yes, they do. So I'm like, what's good?

Like have it for us because if I'm getting all these views and people that watch it don't even know that I'm in their city, that's a problem. So I'm trying to implement these little things that's going on and it's just cool to be in a position where we're in the wild west of our industry as it's changing and to have enough influence like where you actually get to make change and they value your change. We're like where the fucking YouTube people are calling me like, so what

should we do? The biggest platform in the fucking world for video is calling us and they're going, hey so what ideas do you guys have? You know how fucking crazy that is? calling us and they're going hey so what ideas do you guys have that's no shit you know how fucking crazy that is

no shit it's just so fucking crazy bro it's just beginning it's just beginning imagine HBO in the 90s called you up

and they're like so how can we do stand up specials better incredible that's what's going on it's fucking nuts anyway cool cool things

also to push a point you were saying earlier, I'm not going to say who. I could put you out like that. But Andrew was having a conversation with a very famous musician. And he said the exact same thing Andrew's been saying, which are comics of the new rappers. Oh, yeah, man. It is true, man.

You can't put a little bitty out there. It's going to come out. I don't know who the fuck it was. No, it's going to come out. This ain't Patreon. Well, I'll say it Wednesday, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I hear you. I mean, this is. But it's going to come out. I don't know who the fuck it was. No, it's going to come out. This ain't Patreon. Well, I'll tell you Wednesday, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I hear you.

I mean, this is- But it's going to come out. Yeah. When we talk about Russia later, we'll get into that exactly. But comedy is new hip hop. I've been saying this for a while. You know, I've been- And when I-

We'll get into it when we start talking about Russia. Yeah. You know what I mean? But I just want to say thank you to everybody who's been supporting this crowd work specials at like over 700,000. You showed up on time. Crowdwork special. I had such a shitty first world experience today that

I can't even tell you why I got mad. Nobody cares. The last thing anybody cares about is why you're late. Nobody cares about it. I don't care. Akash doesn't care and Alex doesn't care. Nobody less than cares. We do care. When you're late, nobody cares. I don't care. Akash doesn't care and Alex doesn't care. Nobody less than cares. So we do not care

why you're late. We just care if you're here and then that's fine but we're not going to give any more attention to it. You know what I mean? So look, the reality is

Crowdwork Special, over 700,000 views. It's fucking unreal that y'all have been doing this and thank you so much, man. And yeah, it's just crazy. I just want to say a huge thank you for all, man. And yeah, it's just crazy. I just want to say

a huge thank you for all that, everybody involved. And let's start the show because we got some spicy shit going on this week in the sports world, guys.

Very. It's like finally we get to open up with some very spicy sports stuff. It's finally sports time. The best thing about fall, bro. It's the best thing about fall.

Actual sports that matter. Oh, man. We get to talk about. David Wind as a comedian, hilarious comedian from San Francisco area. He's not from San Francisco proper, but from San Francisco area. He always opens up for me when I'm out there. And he had this hilarious tweet. He did Inside Jokes.

Yeah, he did an episode of Inside Jokes. And I hope I don't butcher this tweet, but it is – it goes, girlfriends must be so happy now that they're getting ignored for football instead of baseball. I think I saw the tweet. I butchered the fucking word, but it was just so great. It's like at least there's a sport worth getting ignored for. Like if you ignore your girlfriend for baseball, you don't like your girl. No, you're so stupid. You don't like her.

You don't like your girlfriend. Nah, you're so stupid. You don't like her. You don't like your girlfriend. Yeah, you're a monster. And even if it is baseball, like, right now is, like, the perfect time of baseball. Like, the games kind of matter. And it still. Playoffs.

And, I mean, like, I'm not going to watch, like, those first, like, six months where nobody gives a fuck. Like, get me to September, October, the games count. You know how boring baseball is? It's more boring

than your girlfriend. Like, your girlfriend's story is more interesting, exciting, scintillating, sit on the edge of your seat than any baseball game ever. You know what's crazy? A baseball game is longer than your girlfriend's story. How fucking crazy is that? Think about the similarities between baseball and the girlfriend's stories. It's like when your girlfriend tells a story and it tries to be funny in it, swing and a miss, right?

Baseball, the entire game is swing and a miss. That's the entire game. And maybe a few times, randomly, there's a connection. And the same with a girl's story. You're like, that was actually pretty funny, man. That happened? You constructed that? You put that together?

This is remarkable, man. I mean, that's exactly why we're all better boyfriends in the summertime. We listen more. They're wearing less clothes and shit. As soon as it hits fall, I'm like, nah, fuck that. 2K's out. 2K's a game changer. Relationships on the rocks.

I told my girl, I'm like, get me 2K's, I'm getting me flowers. I'm never going to ask for flowers. I'm never going to ask for chocolates. But if you bring me 2K, I'm like, get me 2Ks, I'm getting me flowers. Like, I'm never going to ask for flowers. I'm never going to ask for chocolates. But if you bring me 2K, I get it for free. But just the fact that you go out the way to bring it to me. Only difference is flowers don't wilt. Or like, flowers do wilt. You know, like, 2K just stays fresh.

It gets better with time. 2K, you can play with wilt. 2K. 2K, you putting up 100 with wilt. Yeah. Dude, so it's a shitty time to be a girlfriend right now. Be strong, ladies. Be strong.

Football season is back. We have obviously the most. You think that's why they keep football season in the winter? Because that's cuffing season? They're like, well, you got to do this bitch for three months anyway. I might give you some happiness. Yeah, yeah. Somebody got to bring me water.

Great Sundays, man. So, honestly, I was thinking about this today, like why we invented hickeys. Okay. Because you can watch the game while pretending to be affectionate with your girlfriend. Like she leans towards you on the couch and then imagine this is your girl's face if i kiss her like this i can't watch the game but if i'm like she thinks i'm digging in she thinks i'm really winning she thinks all about her neck, but not her neck. I think she has a cancerous growth. Oh, gosh.

Anyway, so AB. AB. AB has a very interesting week. And for those of you guys who don't know, Adrian, Antonio Brown. I was almost thinking Adrian Broner, the boxer. Which would make sense if he was doing this. He was acting a lot more. So Antonio Brown basically went to the Oakland Raiders. Uh, he, you know, cause a quite the

stir with Pittsburgh, uh, force their trade, goes to the Oakland Raiders, and forces them to release him, and now he ends up on the Patriots, and he caused quite a stir with the Raiders. Yeah. Calling the, I mean, let's start at the beginning of it.

The beginning was the helmet. No, no. Beginning was the feet, the cryogenic. Oh, you're right. You, no. Beginning was the feet. The cryogenic. Oh, you're right. You're right. He went into a cryogenic chamber. No flip-flops.

No flip-flops, nothing. And he basically ice froze his feet. So he got like frostbite on the bottom of his feet. Recovers from that. Causes this huge stink about his helmet. He wants to use the old helmet. The NFL has brought new helmets that would hopefully protect their players a little bit better. He didn't want that protection, and somewhat understandable.

He's used to something. He doesn't want to change. You're like, okay, that's kind of reasonable. To provide proper context, Larry Fitzgerald still uses the same helmet from way back when. Why is he allowed to? Same team, same helmet. He doesn't need to change the equipment for anything. But once you change a new

team, you're allowed to... He doesn't have to change the equipment for anything. But once you change a new team, you're allowed to... Well, he doesn't have that same Steelers helmet anymore. You got to get new designs and all that type of shit. So when they send all the new equipment, he's like, no, I'll just keep my old shit. No, because Tom Brady had to change his. Well, he's had to, but life as Gerald simply hasn't had to. If you watch the game, he's still wearing the same fucking old school real shit. It could be a different model, though.

Maybe, maybe. There's a certain model is not approved if you look at the back of it it's not the same fucking like curved up shit behind the okay it's an old it's probably an old helmet that's not that's been approved right basically uh so he caused a big stink with the helmet right uh threatens to retire threatens to retire then ends up working stuff out with the organization. Then gets in a dust-up with Mike Mayock, the GM, because they want to fine him for all the time he's missed. And the owner. Probably the owner, too.

No, he got into a dust-up with the owner. He called the owner a cracker. I thought that was Mayock. I thought he called Mayock a cracker. Okay, called the GM a cracker. Called the GM of the team a cracker. Mike Mayock. And then, even after that, he wasn't released they actually said

he apologized publicly and that he was going to play on Monday that was his statement very emotional apology is what Gruden said emotional apology to the team

heartfelt leaders of the team were there etc turns out that next Monday he's actually or that next day he was actually released yes

and people oh don't forget the Instagram video that he put up oh yeah what's the Instagram video so he had oh yeah what's the audio so he records yeah he yeah he sorry he recorded a phone call between him and john bruden john gruden okay john gruden is being supportive for the most part he's like ab i i know you i know you love football

i think you're one of the most misunderstood people on earth we want you to come back and then it cuts to him john gruden like can we just cut this shit and play football, man? Yeah. AB, what's going on? Just, can you come play football for us? And then he records that phone call and puts it over or under a montage of him training

in black and white. To be fair, it looked fire. It was fire. It looked like a Nike commercial. I'm like, all right, I'm about to buy some shit.

But it also didn't really make me understand him any better. Yeah. Right. And he said, I don't know ab has his side i guess or whatever and that's just illegal i'm pretty sure because he recorded without consent california today uh the dude who made that video videographer said videographer he

was on um what's the guy levitard show okay and he was saying like uh john gruden approved it like he let him use the audio like has written and all that shit. So this is all planned. Oh, he has it written? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't necessarily believe the videographer just off his word, but if he got it written, he's got it written. I don't know why Gruden would approve that. Well, he's the videographer. He's not going to get sued for using illegal audio. So I'm going to take him for his word if he said that it's illegal.

I believe the videographer. Yeah. Okay. So then he gets released. Yeah. And immediately everybody is saying the Steelers are – I mean, sorry, the Patriots are going to get this guy. Bill Belichick is going to get him. Sure enough, Bill Belichick signs him, one-year deal, $9 million guaranteed.

$15 million with incentives. $15 million with incentives. And everybody assumes the Patriots have it locked up and they're going to win the Super Bowl. I don't know that they will. Regardless of whether they are or whether they're not, let's get back to the antics. Yes, the antics. This is not AB's fault. This is not Antonio Brown's fault that he has to do all this.

You know whose fault it is. Well, I'll make my point. You do yours after. But here's the deal. The question is why does he have to do all this? Why does he have to be like this? Why does he like to act like – why does he have to act like this? And it's unfortunately this is what you need to do to get released from your team.

Now, this is the NFL. This is the hardest league in the world to get released from your team. You can knock out your wife and drag her through a hotel. The team can watch the video. As long as no one else watches it, you don't get released from your team. So Antonio Brown's like, should I knock out my wife? No, I don't want to do that. You can kick a woman in a hotel.

As long as you apologize in an ESPN interview, you'll be back. Maybe a year off or something like that, but you'll be back. I don't want to take the year off, so I don't want to kick a woman in a hotel. You can shoot up a strip club, right? As long as no strippers get killed. How long did What's-His-Face do, the cornerback that plays for the Broncos? Aqib Tlaib? Aqib Tlaib?

Did he even get a suspension? I don't think he missed a game. Maybe a game. Maybe not. Do you know what I mean? You can shoot yourself in the leg. You can shoot yourself in the leg, and as soon as you get out of prison, you're back on a team. It is nearly impossible to get released by your team.

So, A.B. had to do... I mean, I think it was probably even shocking to him. I think A.B. is going, what the fuck do I have to do? I burnt my feet. I need those to run, right? I'm still on the team. Okay. I don't want to use your helmet.

I'm going to paint my own helmet. You're going to let me do that? All right, fine. Do I have to call the GM a cracker? What do I have to do to get kicked off this fucking team? You still will let me be on the team? What do I have to fucking do? Do I have to punt one of your kids?

What do I have to do to get kicked off this fucking team? What do I have to fucking do? Do I have to punt one of your kids? What do I have to do to get kicked off this fucking team? And finally, I guess something happened, and don't get me wrong, something else happened. We don't know what happened, but something else happened. What do you mean? You don't go from, he apologized, everybody's okay,

and we want to go, to we're releasing him. Well, here's what else happened. I don't know, this is what my understanding is. First of all, real quick, to your to, we're releasing him. Well, here's what also happened. I don't know. This is what my understanding is. First of all, real quick to your point, I think he had to approve of getting traded to the Raiders and then signed a new deal with them, and then all his guaranteed money was voided because of his antics.

And then also, I think everybody got released. Like Kareem Hunt, kick the bitch, got released. But he's back. Yeah, but he got released by his team. Plaxico, I think, got released by the Giants. That's what I'm saying. Akeem Khalib got released by the Bronx. No, no, no.

If you just want to get released by your team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But here's the thing. I don't want to kick a lady. That's how I get released. I don't want to kick a lady. Right? So I don't want to knock out my girl.

So here's what I'm saying. You didn't want to play for the Steelers, so you forced a trade to the Raiders, which you said you were cool with, and then you wanted to get off the Raiders, so you gave up all your guaranteed money. What do you want? If you want to be on a good team and make money, stay with the Steelers. Right.

If you just want to make money, stay with the Raiders. I think that, and this is my theory on him, I think when you're a competitor and you know you're not going to win and you have a limited window to win, it drives you a little crazy. And I think he went to the Raiders and he kind of surveyed the surroundings and saw what type of team they had. And then he went, oh, they're not good. Oh, I 100% believe that. I just don't understand then what you did at Pittsburgh.

Well, because he realized, oh, they're not good. We're not going to make it. Like, we have an amazing receiving core. We have this new kid who I'm actually threatened by, but he's good. We have Bryant, and we have me, and we still can't win? The defense is solid. We still aren't going to do it? Fuck it.

I'm out of here. Okay, the Raiders might have some hope. We got a little situation here. We got a coach that people say we're good. Maybe shooty last season, but maybe they're rebuilding. Maybe they'll draft well. Gets in a training camp. Oh, they can't guard me for... If they can't guard me at all, I'm not the only me. We getting

cooked. Well, I mean, there's two things we're missing here, right? So to your point, Antonio Brown, the Patriots went after Antonio Brown immediately. Like, I mean, there's two things we're missing here, right? So to your point, Antonio Brown, the Patriots went after Antonio Brown immediately. Like, right when the skills were going to get rid of him? Yeah, apparently they talked before. And they were like, no, we're not sending you to a rival. So they sent him to the Raiders

and he approved it and he was like, yeah, we'll get you the guaranteed money, all this other shit. So he was like, alright, great. The one thing that you said that something else happened was they pulled his guaranteed money. Like, they had the whole big shebang and they were like, oh, okay, you know, we're good, everything's alright, great. The one thing that you said that something else happened was they pulled a guaranteed money. Like they had the whole big shebang. They were like, oh, okay, you know, we're good. Everything's all right, whatever, whatever.

The next day, Mayock's like, yeah, you know, there was some fucking fine print that basically said because of this fine, your guaranteed money is like null and void. But that's probably not fine print. So now you're playing game by, you're basically playing game by game now. And then he said what? Then he said, I'm not playing. He's like, I'm not playing.

Release me. Yeah, that's the Instagram post. He said, release me. Now, Akash is about to make a point that I agree with,

but go on. My point was just, that's not fine print. You know that going in. Ezekiel Elliott, we don't know, but everybody that I've listened to in Dallas

is like, he definitely has some kind of behavioral clause. Dez Bryant had, like, fucking security around him at all times. He had behavioral things. If you're Antonio Bryant and you're getting signed to a team for big money, they're going to say, hey, if you fuck around and try the shit you did in Pittsburgh, we're avoiding all this $30 million. Conduct detrimental to the team. That is so far and loud.

They're like, all right, well. He knew he was doing this the whole time. He sat down there with Drew Rosenhaus, which is his agent, right? Yeah. And he was basically like, yo, how do I get the fuck out of here? This team sucks.

I don't want to play here. Drew's like, listen, make a big stink about a few things, they'll probably release you. And they just wouldn't fucking release. It was amazing. It was like, he had to be laughing to himself. Like, you know that video where he's running around, they finally released me, they finally released me. That's not because he didn't

want to be in Oakland, that's because, like, how much shit do I need to do to fucking get released? Like, he called the GM a cracker. I wanted to know what was next on the list. Listen, he called the GM a cracker, and then went to go play for another cracker. A much more crackery cracker. There's nothing more cracker.

The saltiest of crackers. You know how the Saltines got salted on one side? The whole cracker's salted. Both sides salted. This is a motherfucking everything bagel you went to go play for. Son. Oh, man. There's nothing motherfucking everything bagel you had to go play for. Son. Oh, man. There's not more crackery than the New England Patriots. That type of organization.

I will be honest. People go, will AB be able to play for the Patriots? I actually think that AB is quite childish, and I think he has a childlike anxiety that comes from a lack of structure. And I think AB... And I think AB had quite childish, and I think he has a childlike anxiety that comes from a lack of structure. And I think AB –

Structural help. Yes. And I think AB had that structure with Tomlin, and then he realized at some point that on some level Tomlin was an illusion. And I think that he had this – there was like severity and seriousness. And then some sort of crack in the system happened. I don't know where it was. I don't know if it was Tomlin signing with Ben.

It was in Roethlisberger. Maybe it was, yeah, maybe. In Roethlisberger. But at some point, at some point, A.B. realized two things. One, I can complain.

And two, I can complain without consequence. And for a guy who's childish, that induces the most anxiety. And when he went to the Raiders and found out he could get away with even more than he could get away with Pittsburgh, the anxiety blossomed even more. And now he's going to a place which is undeniably the most structured and severe and serious place on the planet,

almost to the point where it could reduce some of his joy from playing, but he'll have no anxiety. I mean, what was the guy, Hernandez? Aaron Hernandez. No, Aaron Hernandez? Aaron Hernandez, murderer. Murderer? A murderer found calm playing for the Patriots.

Think about what the Patriots offer you. It's like, in the same way the Army can take a fucking drug addict, nonsense nincompoop guy from the street and turn him into like a respectable upstanding citizen within the structure of the army like the patriots provide that i would not be surprised i mean look how well josh gordon played it's gonna work it's gonna work it's gonna work it's gonna work for josh and it's gonna work for him the most suspended motherfucking history of the league finally gets it together comes back and game one game one in the best shape of his life you seen

him i thought i thought he was a tight end when he caught that first did you see the first you watched the game he's fucking tossed one of those he catches it if this was the most important he catches it on a leap right catches on leap, gets some contact on the leap, and then plants off the leap. That was the most shocking thing. Jumps in the air, and instead of that little pitter-patter that you do to slow down afterwards when you're 35 and your fucking ankles are like me, like shit,

he stomps the leap and then jukes, walks in. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it's going to work. I think Antonio Brown's getting a lot of credit. I think he probably got a CTE. Yeah, you've been going on the CTE thing. It's reasonable.

Somebody sent to me on Instagram there was one behavioral thing in 2014, which is still one of the funniest plays in NFL history, when Antonio Brown karate kicked that punter in the face. You guys remember that? I remember that, yeah. When he jump kicked the motherfucker in the face mask on a punter turn? After that, there

wasn't much. And then in 2016, I think he got concussed or something. But after 2016, all of a sudden, it's just antics. Antics. So, after 2016, this is the antics you have. You have January 15th, 2017 Facebook live stream of locker room only speech given by Tomlin. During the playoffs.

I remember that. October 1st, tosses cooler on the sideline against Ravens because Big Ben didn't target him. The 28th of 2018, July 28th, shows up in training camp in a helicopter. Which kind of boss? I like that. August 12th, appeared over four hours late to an event at Children's Hospital without any explanation why he was so late. That's most likely a team event that you have to do as part of being a player. September 7th, I mean, this goes on, and there's another maybe 20 of these.

So it might—and those might not be CTE things. Those might just be, hey, I'm getting more and more famous, and it's kind of turning me into this. But to me, there's just something— I think CT—look, it could happen. Hey, I'm getting more and more famous, and it's kind of turning me into this. But to me, there's just something. I think CT, look, it could happen. I've had concussions of it three, and I didn't have immediate behavioral changes afterwards. I mean, but, you know. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Really? No, no, no, no. I completely believe it could make me a little crazier than I am. That's undeniable. But what I meant, like, right after. It's not like I recovered. What if there's a number of concussions that makes you a far better person but then if you go too far. Like what if you are

as successful and work hard as you are. Because you've had three concussions but you got four. You know what I mean? Motherfuckers gotta look out. It's like an episode of The Simpsons where like he was like brilliant for like 20 minutes. One more concussion, Alex Media might have a fucking watch when he sleeps.

It's like molestation with strippers. Where it's like a little bit of molestation will make them good, but like too much molestation, it's going to be like, oh, fuck. You're on drugs. There's a lot of things going on. Like it's a big problem. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

So you don't think it's going to work? I think at most he gives you one good year, and if they win the Super Bowl, he'll behave a little bit longer. But there's no way this lasts. Randy Moss didn't last. This ain't going to last. This guy's crazier than Randy Moss and really good, but not as good as Randy Moss was.

Wait, did Randy not last because of his attitude? It kind of flamed out toward the end. Like, toward the end, it got a little bad, and he got traded back to Minnesota. Or he got traded. Or released. One of the two. But that's just the Patriot way, though.

It didn't end super well. That's the Patriot way. So 100% he got traded because of an attitude, not diminished skill? 95%. I'm pretty sure Alex is impossible to look that up. I don't think he did anything specific that was like, oh, we're done with his antics. I thought he lost a step or two. That's what I think it was, his patriot way.

What we got out of him, it didn't work out, but we're going to let him go before we sign him for more. Because I think it started to fall apart a little bit. But that one year at work, it fucking worked. No, no, no. I don't believe it. This year is going to be crazy, but I don't know that you just win a Super Bowl. That team lost. Okay, two things.

Two things. And this is what concerned me. Or this is what concerns me now. I didn't know if Tom could still throw the long ball. And there was a play where I think Dorsett is one of their wide receivers. Dorsett gets loose in the secondary. And Tom hoists it 40 yards. And, like, he outthrows him.

White work. And I'm like, oh. If Tom's art had deteriorated to the point where it's going to be Chad Pennington type shit, where I can, like, target you five, seven, eight yards, like, A.B. and Gordon can be nullified. But if they can go over the top, it's a thing. He makes no sense. Tom Brady's career arc makes zero fucking sense.

We can't use actual, oh, well, this guy fell off at this age with Tom Brady. He's been better in his late 30s than he was in his late 20s. He's had just enough concussions, man. That's it. He hit the number. He hit the number. I think he's a low-key genius, man. I think it's low-key.

Yeah. You know we was talking about, do you have a goat gene? And can you work yourself to goatness in the last episode? Yeah. He's like serial killer with that shit. He has that just enough level of sociopathism in him. That TB12 method

is nothing but just like, yo, I'm gonna eat nothing but fucking avocados and water and ice. Avocado ice cream. Just the nuttiest diet. Just be football obsessed. Do anything down to the money he makes from that team to make sure that he's in the best position every single year to compete.

Dude, avocado ice cream has got to be torture for black people. It's got to be disgusting. Because you love watermelon? No, it's avocado or watermelon? Avocado ice cream. Oh, I thought it was watermelon ice cream. Watermelon ice cream sounds fantastic. That sounds fantastic.

Yeah, but they're lactose. So it's just like, yeah, you're right. You know, it's the golden goose or whatever it is. The golden fleece.

What is that thing? It's like, he's got that sociopath, like that Kobe MJ sociopath. Yeah. Yes. You seen that shit when he was like chugging beers?

He's never let anybody beat him in like just chugging beers. Oh yeah, yeah. I mean like, he has a backyard that has nothing in it

just so he can play football. Like, do you know how much that enrages a woman? Like, when you're a woman, right, and you design your dream home, right? Like, keep in mind, Gisele's more wealthy than him. Yeah. Gisele makes more money than Tom Brady, right? By a wide margin.

So, like, she, her whole life, growing up in Brazil, has been thinking, you know, one day I'm going to have this beautiful home and a big fountain in the backyard and a volleyball court and all these things that she would want, and flowers and a dog path and all these things that she would want to do. And then Tom's like, just buzz it low. Buzz it low because Wes Welker's going to be running 40-yard routes, nothing in the backyard. Like, dude, it's got to drive her crazy.

And she's got to live in New England. She spent her whole life In the sun Of Rio You know This beautiful Brazilian weather Papayas

And fucking Acai bowls Everywhere And she's drinking Dunkin' Donuts And fucking cabbage Every single day Tom Brady

She's probably worse Than Tom If you think about it If you think about it She's probably worse than Tom She's probably the motherfucker that's like- What? Strict with her life?

Yeah, she's probably- She just needs to be able to walk. That's her job, is walk. No, I mean, like, she's probably the one, like, tell him, like, motherfucker, if you fucking slack for one fucking season, I'm fucking out. Oh, dude. She's a Latin woman. She can't wait for her husband to retire.

They just want them to be sitting down, getting fat, and not fucking anybody else. That's all it is. And that third one negotiable. It's very negotiable. In fact, the third one's like, if you give me two out of three, we can work on it. We can work around it. We can work around it. Yo, do you remember, I don't know if you guys remember, when he first started doing this podcast,

there was some meme about a guy explaining something to his girlfriend. And then Tom Brady responded to some random meme and said, if you're explaining, you're losing. Yeah. He got that mentality with Giselle, dog. Don't tell me he's not the fucking goat.

The goat, bro. She probably tried to put some decorations and he was like, bitch, take that shit inside. No decorate, dude. Just imagine all the things

that she drew up. I don't know if you guys have moved into a place with your girl. They design the place before you're there. My mom does this. Oh, I'm in the process. Yeah, moved into a place with your girl. They design the place before you're there. My mom does this. Oh, I'm in the process.

Yeah. So it's like you design this. They get, oh, this is the couch. They're on the fucking internet all day picking shit out. So Giselle had her backyard designed. She knew exactly what was going on. They get outdoor furniture. They go, oh, this is so the rain does not get inside.

All these things and her cute little accent. And Tom's just nodding away. He's like, listen, bitch, I want you to get some white paint and put some hash markers on. So the rain does not get inside. All these things and her cute little accent. And Tom's just nodding away. He's like, listen, bitch, I want you to get some white paint and put some hash markers on. Okay? And I want you to get an orange thing that's 10 yards long so that we could decide where first down is. Here's what you're in charge of with the backyard. Find me a Latino to mow it. That's what you do.

And a guy with a Jewish last name to catch my passes. Just make sure your cousins aren't playing fucking soccer. That's right. No cleats in my shit. Fuck that shit. God damn. Dude, so it's pretty... It was a exciting first week, though. Oh my god. Football's the best dog

Aren't we so excited That Jay-Z got Kaepernick Out of here So we can enjoy This fucking thing Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah We're not doing this, guys. Alex, say something. Other black men. Take a knee. Take a knee. Don't take a knee. We don't care. We're watching this football. God damn.

Black cleats matter. I did find it really funny. I did find it really funny that the whole timeline was Slander and Jay-Z for all month. Looked at that shit yesterday. Everybody talking football. I thought we was protesting. I thought nobody was. Literally everyone.

Listen, this is what billionaires understand. It's the reason why they just killed Epstein in the thing and didn't even care in the room. They knew you were going to complain about... They knew you were going to move on. But they know you're going to move on, so they're literally like, all right, this season's a wash.

Maybe next season's a wash. But third year, throw Odell on the same team as Baker. Everybody's going to give a fuck.. Nobody's going to give a fuck. Right? Like, no one's going to give a fuck. Dude, it's just all,

it's all wrestling, dude. It's all chess. It's all. Convince A.B. to bleach his mustache. That's a little bit. It's some crazy shit. Like,

we're all fucking invested. Hey, A.B., remember that Hulk Hogan guy? Yeah, he was interesting. So do some shit like that. We all just got right back invested.

Dude, nobody cares. That shit seems like it was three months ago at this point. There's so many fucking NFL storylines I've invested in right now. Bruh, we don't even watch college like that, but I was in Austin and UT was playing LSU. And I watched the end of that game and I was like, yo, this is the fucking best, dude.

Do you see the quarterback waving at the fans? Oh, it's the best. Dude, the LSU quarterback was... Oh, bro, I was... Mad LSU fans talking shit on 6th Street. It was so funny, though.

Oh, wait, you were there. Yeah, I was there. I was on 6th Street because the show was over. Oh, that's right. You were in Austin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Show was over,

so we went and watched the end at a bar. Yeah, yeah, 6th Street's popping. These rednecks were talking shit, didn't give a fuck. It was so funny. These cucks weren't doing nothing. I love Austin.

I love that scene. What do you mean the LSU guys were talking shit? LSU, redneck, Bayou motherfuckers went to UT at bars watching games, throwing beer everywhere, and these cucks just took it. That's right. What can you say? Austin ain't like Philly.

Yo. You know what I mean? Y'all saw that? Yeah, Mike Scott. This is, okay, so for those of you guys who don't know, and we'll get back to football because there's so many more football stories. This is football related. This is very football related.

This is a great flagrant story. Oh, absolutely. So Mike Scott, who plays for the Philadelphia 76ers, went to an Eagles game, and he went to the tailgate of an Eagles game. Now, for you foreigners, a tailgate is that scene you see where all the fans are outside the stadium, and they're drinking beers. Before the game. Before the game. And actually, even some watch it throughout the game, but it's a big pregame party, right? And Mike Scott, who's a 76er, is walking around the pregame wearing a Redskins jersey.

Oh, we should preface this. The day before, he tweeted that, yo, I'm being Lincoln Financial with a Redskins jersey on. Boom. And the fan goes, yo, we love you for the Sixers, but if I were you, I wouldn't do that. Eagles fans are crazy. He responds, switch it on. we love you for the Sixers but like if I were you I wouldn't do that Eagles fans are crazy he responds what y'all gonna do so he pulled up

and he found exactly what the fuck they wanted this is the city of brotherly love but they don't love no brothers they were swinging on him these 5'8 fat Italians

were swinging on Mike Scott and low key 6'8 tattooed on Mike Scott I think some of them truly were drunk enough to believe that he actually played on the Redskins. And they're like, I need to do my part. I need to do my part for my team. We're taking out this Redskin right now. But dude, it was an unreal moment where Mike Scott found out how famous he wasn't. He really thought that he could

take his fame. That ain't nobody giving a fuck. You only know you're on NBA Twitter because you got emoji tattoos. That's the only reason. Did you hit the game winner against Brooklyn though? I think so. You hit a game winner in game three or something like that. I hit the game winner against the Raptors.

Did they lose to the Raptors? All I'm saying is it was this beautiful moment where they literally start swinging him. And I'll be honest, he didn't really swing back. He didn't knock anybody out. Oh, nah. He was playing whack-a-mole, dog. Did you see that? You missed it.

He was dropping them. He was dropping them. They only have cuts of it, so you don't really get to see it in detail. I heard he was dropping people, but I haven't seen it. But he was pushing them down, but not like... Yeah, he wasn't knocking them out, but he was hitting hitting him in a way and they were falling to the ground. That's all you really got to do. I don't think he was hitting him. He was like more like grabbing their shirts and like pulling them.

I see people hitting the ground. Even that. Even people hitting the ground and you're one man versus a group of people, that's enough. I saw one Maroon with Aracy versus a bunch of teal jerseys. Teal jerseys just hitting the floor. Yeah, you're doing enough. And you don't go to jail for shoving people like you Mike Scott

you can get in trouble for punching if you could just throw a motherfucker down one arm you know what maybe he was smart about that I gotta give him love

if he purposely didn't assault them like he was more pushing people to ground if he did that all on purpose so he wouldn't get locked up because you know they'd find a way

to fuck his ass up oh and he defended himself yeah and they got the jail right at the arena at the stadium it's the only stadium that has a jail right they need one, yeah.

No, but dead ass. They have one, innit? I believe it. No, no, no. They have one because they would have to lock up fans. Every arena has one. Not every arena. It's the only one that has a jail.

I think a Jets. Oh, like a full jail. A full jail. Not a drum tank. Not a holding cell. Like a jail. A work? Oh, shit.

Son, they don't play. shit Son they don't play Son they don't play That was out That's good Son they don't play Like you're getting locked up Like dudes are there To get locked up

I'll be tight if I'm in jail Till like Thursday For some shit I did Sunday Still out the field Just watching people leave Whatever man It's Philly They don't got fucking jobs

To go to Fucking losers You feel relaxed What I got saved from there That ain't holding no weight I know They ain't fucking annoying

You're not Mike Scott man Yeah bro I ain't seen you Dropping nobody Son They out there Philly loves a good death threat I got a couple death threats

I know too We was there for that Remember that shit Alex had to come to Philly With me the last time. This is how loyal Alex is. I didn't realize this until much later.

But Alex came to Philly with me. This is before we were really working together. You were doing, like, the Idiot shows. He wasn't coming with me on the road yet. I wasn't on the road, yeah.

But this is when I had all the smoke with Philly. And Alex came to the show. He's like, yo, I'm going to come to the show this weekend. And I was like, all right, man, come through. I got you and your family,

whatever. And then weeks later, he told me, he was like, hey, bro, I'm going to be honest. I just came to shows show. He's like, yo, I'm going to come to the show this weekend. And I was like, all right, man, come through. You know, I got you and your family, whatever. And then, like, weeks later, he told me, he was like, hey, bro, I'm going to be honest. I just came to shows because, you know, I thought they were going to try to kill you. So I brought it. Bro, it was hot out there. Wait for it.

He goes, I brought a gun just in case, you know what I mean? He's dead ahead. It was in the trunk. It was in the trunk. So y'all want the smoke? Y'all want the smoke? I'll be coming with the smoke. And that's legal heat, too.

That's legal heat. We coming with the smoke. We got the badge and all that. Oh, damn. I had to call Corey Towns and shit. And be like, yo. You had to save his life. You had to save Corey's life.

Yeah, like a retrospect. Lucky Corey. Corey, you lucked out, bro. It was almost bite, bite. Oh, bro. It was almost bye-bye. I was dead ass worried. The legal heat, though. The legal heat. Think about that.

You attack us, it's bang, bang, and then you got to deal with that. Oh, you're right. It's legal. That's what I'm saying. That's when he was, you know. You out here attacking law enforcement. Why would you attack law enforcement? I knew it was hot when I got that phone call.

I had to call Andrew on the side. I'm like, bro, you sure you want to go to Philly? He's like, no, no, it'll be great. I'm like, bro, not the way these motherfuckers are talking. I went to Russia. I'll go to Philly. Shout out to Philly. They bounced back, though.

They won yesterday. Yo, I fucks with Philly man Real talk I love their passion I love their passion No bullshit It's one of my favorite Places to perform

Love Philly I love Philly I love the humility Who stood out Speaking about Russia You want to talk about it Yes I want to talk about it But I want to go through

A little more sports stuff Still And you know Weed out any motherfuckers That is going to be offended By the crazy shit That we tell you that happened in Russia. Stay tuned.

All they did was talk about sports today, so I'm out. Good. Other NFL news I had written down, Nick Foles. How lucky are these motherfucking Eagles that they let Nick Foles sign with somebody else and then— Finally. Yeah. They finally give him freedom, and then he immediately breaks his clavicle. Poor guy.

Two quarters in, and now he's out for most of the season. Now, the clavicle is the collarbone? Yeah. It's this right here. This little bone. That one right here, right? Okay. So, did you guys see the play where he broke it? Yeah, it was touchdown., right? Okay. Um, so

Did you guys see the play where he broke it? Dime touchdown and classic big dick Nick throw Stood in a pocket. The reason he got lit up is because he fucking stood there hoist It took it and then they drove him to the ground. But um It is interesting and kind of sad that that happens completely separate note. Did you see who the fuck were they playing? They were playing the Chiefs.

And Watkins. Did you see Sammy Watkins cooking up Jalen fucking Ramsey? Yo, what happened to Ramsey? Dude, Ramsey. Jalen fucking Ramsey. Yo, what happened to Ramsey? Dude, Ramsey. Cornerbacks, I guess, really age, you know, like, I'm trying to think, a boxer is a running back.

It's just like, it can be one year and then it's done. To be fair, it's Patrick Mahomes. He's a bad motherfucker. I don't care. You need separation. True. And this guy was getting away. He got loose.

Is Ramsey done? I don't think so. From what I've seen watching football since I was a kid, I don't know if he got paid yet. I think he wanted to get traded at one point. Also, and that might be it, also it seems like cornerback is so fucking confidence-based. Everything is,

but cornerback more than any position I've seen is confidence-based. Like any rookie cornerback, I remember playing for the Cowboys, would get cooked and cooked and cooked. Then after one good game, suddenly things would start turning around. It any rookie, cornerback, I remember playing for the Cowboys, we'd get cooked and cooked and cooked. Then after one good game, suddenly things would start turning around. It just takes one good game or one bad game.

Kicking and playing DB. So much confidence. Yeah, that's true about kicking too. It's so, isn't it crazy that you can be a millionaire professional

at something and it can still be mentally affected? Yeah. And like, I think you need that that though of course you need it but i guess here's what i'm trying to say that like if you know that something affects you mentally right meaning if i kick something bad a couple times it's in my head and i'll miss the

next five you saw this happen i think the giants kicker last year you see it happen every season with a kicker who just is great yesterday boom there at the Jets yesterday. Boom. There you go. That's right. I saw Willie Colon. Shout out to Willie. Tweeted about that as well. And it's like, okay, so if I'm a player and if I know that my mental stability, my whole game is dependent on my mental stability, I'm incorporating that into my workouts just as much as I am quads and hamstrings. Like, I don't care if it's likestrings. I don't care if it's meditation. I don't care if it's therapy. Everything.

Sports psychologist. How are you not in the room with them every single day because you are a shell of yourself without it? Dude, tennis is another. US Open just happened, and this young kid is fucking coming up, made it to the final, and his whole turnaround started with a sports psychologist.

That was like the thing. I don't know if it was you that told me this but Joker Djokovic I think it was Djokovic, it might have been someone else attributes his turnaround to Tony Robbins? No, I haven't heard that. There's one of these tennis players

that is like I just didn't have the confidence, I didn't have the self haven't heard that. There's one of these tennis players that is like, you know, I just didn't have the confidence. I didn't have the self-esteem. And I sat down with him. He worked with me. And then I won fucking championships. Which is real. Your brain is a muscle you got to work out just like anything else in your body, man.

Like if your shit is fucked up here, everything else is going to go. Facts. Everything else is going to go. Confidence breeds success. You got to work that shit out. Success breeds confidence. Dude, this is so interesting. It's why I cut out the sugar in bread.

Because I would need to do so much extra work to get that mental state that I needed to perform and like be good at, you know, podcasts, but also on stage

and like be sharp and not have to deal with, you know, the anxiousness that eating all that fucking sugar gives you. And I cut that fucking shit out and I think noticeable difference.

Really? Truly noticeable difference. I can see it on your face too. Yeah. It just affects me differently. Now, like I can take a coffee and I can have some coffee and I can do something like this because it requires tons of brain power, right? It's like we're already, we're all firing.

Yeah. But like having coffee and doing nothing will make you go crazy. Oh, yeah. This is literally the only time I drink coffee. And it works, right? And it works. I'm up, I'm moving, I'm shaking, ideas going. I'm like, boom, drink this and I'm good.

You need it. Facts. But other than that, no. But it is fascinating. And if we know that getting, if we know shifting your mental state can make you do better and worse, how are teams, maybe they are, but why are our teams not investing in what would shift

their opponent's mental state to a negative i mean at in its essence that's trash talk right but like i mean that's almost like the same thing as ice in the kicker or burning your timeouts on the one minute drill so what's the elite level of that? What is the, what is the like mind fuck? The next, I mean, like if it's me, I'm sending targeted Facebook ads at someone's Instagram,

right? And like making the- What's that company that decides every election? Cambridge Analytica, right? Cambridge Analytica. So I said target Facebook ads

about not even about football, just about like what happens when someone is suffering from low self-esteem. Or ads like, your girl's not giving you love? Maybe it's because she's cheating on you. They have nothing to do with football, but organically populate that person's feet. Can you imagine that ad pop up on your Facebook? I'd be like, what the fuck, Facebook?

Now you're calling your girl, right? Because you haven't spoken to her a week Cause you zero dark 30 You're ignoring her for football You're like Maybe this bitch is all horny Trying to suck motherfuckers dicks But what product are they even trying to sell No products

No product Brought to you by the Philadelphia Eagles That's what she would say But This is how What a fucking maniac I am But like In all seriousness

Think about that As a competitive advantage Like Yeah You could really get In your opponent's head If you know that there's a serious downgrade, especially position players, especially a kicker, especially, like you said, corner. It's so random because if you don't have confidence in that decision you make in the split second, you're toast. Maybe that's what it is, man.

It's something that seems so confidence-based playing cornerback. Yeah, like running back, at the end of the day, you can run through somebody if you have to. There is a physical exertion that plays into it. Running back is probably the least—you have the least control. The offensive line's got to be going. The quarterback's got to get into you. Got to open up the hole. Cornerback, sorry.

Cornerback and kicker, this is what I just noticed. Any mistake has the biggest repercussions. Huge consequences, so your fucking nerves are high. Every play. And if I have 40 good plays and 5 bad ones and that leads to 3 touchdowns, I might get cut, bro.

A quarterback can have a bad throw. He'll get it back, unless he throws an interception. A running back can miss the hole, but if you get beat deep, miss an extra point or mix a A running back can miss the hole, but if you get beat deep, miss an extra point, or mix a field goal, that's the game. Also, you can't get it back as a cornerback. No. If you're a quarterback and you miss a throw, next possession,

you can go, boom. They go right to, like, boom. No, I mean, if you're a quarterback. Quarterback next play. If you're a quarterback next play. Atone for mistakes. Exactly. A cornerback, you cannot atone.

Kicker, you've got to wait. They put me back in position. And you might not ever get there. And then A cornerback, you cannot atone. Kicker, you gotta wait. They put me back in position. And you might not ever get there. And then during that wait, what are you thinking about? The miss. All you're thinking about is the miss.

As a corner, that is a great point. The only way you can atone is an interception that you might return. But if you give up six, there's a very small chance you get six back.

So that weighs on you. And it snowballs. Because if I'm a quarterback and I just beat this guy deep, guess where I'm going? Deep. Right back that way. 100%. You got to. You got to.

It is an interesting side of golf. I think that might be the most important thing what separates good plays and bad plays. Is mental stability. Yeah, because they're all professionals. All of them are elite level talent. Everybody was a man at one point. But think of the GOATs. They have crazy levels of confidence.

So that was my point in the Mashup episode. The GOAT gene to me is mental at least as much as it is physical, if not more. I think it's what happens when you have elite physicality meets elite mental. And then you become GOAT. But some people might have GOAT mental. They just don't have GOAT physical. But Tom Brady's not a GO a goat physical guy i think he is i think tom brady's goat physical it's just the position he chose doesn't require

the type of physicality that we deem uh athleticism right but he has a canon he has incredibly quick release right he has those little things but what i'm what i'm what i'm saying is i think his his mentality yeah especially being at 42 years old, having that fucking insane diet, all this other shit. Like you said before, not everybody wants to do that work. I'm not saying he's not athletic for a quarterback, but I think if he was, he wouldn't have been drafted in the sixth round. And I still don't hear remarkable, like, I hear about Dan Marino's release. I hear about John Elway's arm. I hear about Troy Aikman's accuracy.

I don't hear those specific things about Tom. He's a great thrower. You hear about Tom Brady's release. Yeah, it's quick. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. At least what I've heard about his thing is his release is exceptional, and then he also gets the ball out quickly. Quickly.

So he makes his decisions, and that is mental. I'm not denying that it isn't mental but there's a difference I think there's a difference between you can make a decision and you can get

the ball out quickly you can make those reads really quick and like nobody said he reads the defense like nobody else but if your release is slow in the NFL

they'll eat that up, right? And I would also say this to that release i feel it feels like something you can work on maniacally and make it quicker and quicker and quicker your arm can only get so strong yeah but i think the thing about and i agree with you there but i think the thing about release is like it's habit forming so guys that they've tried to change their release the t-bows and that kind of stuff like that they always revert to that like long windy throw but the guys who have that like electr quick release, like the Phillip Rivers. Phillip doesn't even look.

You know who looks like has one of the fastest, dopest releases I've ever seen? Who? Fucking Kyler Murray. Did you watch him yesterday? Okay. I didn't see the whole comeback. Yo, for three quarters, he looked like shit. And then that fourth quarter happened, and he was just zipping that shit out there.

I was like, holy shit. Okay, here's a question. And this is, and I want to get back to Go Team, but there's a question about short quarterbacks, right? Who else has a great quick release? Russell Wilson. Who else? Drew Brees. Drew Brees, right?

Wait for it. I think there is something to do with arm length. Oh, that makes sense. I can see that. Right? That mechanically makes sense. Mechanically. It is a quick, like whenever you see a midget do something, you notice how quick it looks.

Yeah. Have you ever seen that? Like a midget put on a backpack or some shit? Like Prime Tyson. Like his arms are like not huge. Tyson's a great one, but even shrink Tyson. Like there's this midget that I would. Dude.

They scurry. They don't even run. They scurry, right? And it's just like, whenever you see, like, a squirrel do something, they could go five feet. But you're like, that was the quickest I've ever seen somebody go five feet. It's just everything's moving so quick. The windup isn't as long. It's less room for error.

That's it. It's less room for error. A big 6'6 quarterback, like, even a Ben Roethlisberger, I see that release. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He takes forever to get it out of there. Now it's going to go. Yeah.

Those little guys might not be able to hoist it. I don't know if this is directly related, but like they say short guys can lift much more on the bench press. Way less lift. Because their arms don't have to travel as long. That's it. You got long arms, you got to go that much further. Release kind of the same thing.

Your arms got to go that much further. Now if you wind up that much longer. your arm's got to go that much further. Now, if you wind up that much longer. If you get a random take where one of those guys happens to have close to the arm strength as a guy with a big, long arm, like, Drew can get it out there, right? And then you see why these guys are elite.

Now, granted, they got to get it over that front line, and maybe they won't have those pockets, but who knows? I mean, that's why people like Johnny Manziel when he was coming was coming out like he got it out of there quickly and he had a gun and he had fucking massive unusually large head for somebody so short and kyle murray has the same thing but he's just like more compact like he's like watching him play like i was impressed by a lot of people yesterday lamar jackson too like but watching kyle murray that fourth quarter in overtime like it was like watching like a new

fucking car like that motherfucker just was downhill every single time as soon as he got the ball that show was coming out like a fucking 100 mile per hour fucking baseball and I was like when this dude gets some shit around him it might happen it's a wrap that motherfucker is nice

so to the to the Gojean thing that you were saying mental Akash, the Raptors had a very clutch performance from a player outside of Kawhi. Fred Van Vliet. Yeah. A friend of mine told me, this is at the beginning of the season, he told me, this kid Fred Van Fleet, I like him.

I'm like, why? I mean, he's just regular. He's kind of like, he's unathletic. He doesn't shoot that well. Like, what is it about him? He goes, he goes, doesn't get scared. He goes, he says exactly this. He was not afraid of the moment.

I go, what are you talking about? He goes, he's not afraid of the moment. Like literally zero fear is in his body. He doesn't even understand fear. Who was at Wichita State, right? Wichita State. We've seen him in college. He was like, same thing.

Same thing in the NBA. Just fucking under control. Guy said this to me beginning of the season with no practical experience in this. And then he comes into the playoffs and proves. Give Steph Curry to work. Son, I mean, like, zero. What is the term they use in dogs? Cur? He doesn't cur?

Or something like that? Like, no bitch in him whatsoever. And there's an example. If, especially in basketball, everybody's assholes get tight in the playoffs. And you need players who might not be as elite, but their assholes don't get tight.

Right. It's part of building a team. Kind of interesting. Very interesting. I think if you've got a championship team, that's a super important piece. John Paxson for Jordan. Asshole, don't get tight. Don't give a fuck, man.

Just get me open. I'll shoot it. It's nothing. That's what I do. Every championship team. Every championship team has a guy like that. Fucking the Spurs had Ginobili. Fucking the Lakers had Robert Horry and Derek Fisher.

People are just like, no matter what the moment is, you get it to them open. Wow. They all have role players with the goat gene, with the mental goat gene. Role players who are not afraid of the moment are a crucial element to a championship team that is never spoken about. We speak about them, but we don't talk about that value. That gene is fucking different. Golden State is full of players who aren't afraid of the moment.

Draymond Green. No, I wouldn't say Draymond. I would say Iggy. Iggy, that's another one. Iggy don't give a fuck. Iggy got the giant balls. Shoot 20% from three for the whole season Leave me all up for the game winning three

But the thing is Draymond His best games came When Steph don't show up When KD's just alright That game seven against the fucking Against the Cavaliers I remember the first half 38-9-10

Text exchange I texted you Because we were both rooting against the Warriors. We won the Cavs 1-7. And the first half, Draymond is hitting threes. And I'm like, what the fuck, son? And Andrew was like, this is great. He's drunk off these threes. He's going to keep shooting.

He's going to start missing. And then he started missing in the second half. So maybe Draymond has it, but I do remember the second half, all of a sudden, he might have just been missing. But it wasn't going in like that. I guess he missed the fucking game because of kicking people in the nuts or some shit. And then the next time he came back, he did not have a good game. No, the seventh game.

Seventh game, okay. Yeah, it's an interesting— I always like the goat discussion. But it is very interesting. There's a—I mean, maybe it's a good time to change it. And this has nothing to do with being a goat, but I'm curious about— Sorry, real quick addition to football? Yeah. Well, it's still football. No, it's a good time to change it and this has nothing to do with being a GOAT but I'm curious about sorry real quick

addition to football yeah well it's still football no it's GOAT gene discussion yeah yeah on a role player yeah who's a role player

for the Patriots that I think has two Super Bowl MVPs Julian Edelman Julian Edelman not afraid of the moment he won one of them with a fucking concussion

probably shouldn't have been led back in the game against Seattle I'm pretty sure he got the MVP that Against Seattle. I'm pretty sure he got the MVP that game. And if I'm not mistaken, he got the MVP last game, right? He was the only one that did anything. He was big concussed. Yeah, he was big. You know, it's

interesting. Yeah, maybe that is part of the ingredient in every championship team in terms of team sports because as the assholes get tight, that's your only competitive advantage and everybody's game planning against the star we should we should look up and the only way you could really calculate it was with madden statistic or like

nba 2k statistic but like imagine we could find an algorithm that would tell us the reduction of skill based on the nerves that you have. Yeah. Like we could literally tell when your heart is beating at a higher rate how much worse you shoot or how much better. There's a weird thing that happens with nerves, man, where it's like it either makes you cripple. It cripples you or it elevates you. It elevates you, dude. Some people thrive off that feeling. Dude, and I felt both.

I felt there's been times where I was nervous and I didn't perform as well. And then there's been times where, dude, like in Montreal, like when we did the taping thing. Which one? Remember the taping when I did in Montreal? With the gala? With the gala, where it was like, it was just, I didn't, I felt calm.

It's a weird euphoria. I was like, let me just get on fucking stage already. There's been times, even in like Toronto, I was like, let me just get on

fucking stage. And it heightens it. Everything is sharper. Yeah, it's interesting. It's like a runner's high where like you're so tired and then you just fucking break through that one barrier and you don't even feel it no more.

You're just like, oh, yeah, this is – I've prepared for this. I've gotten my body, my mind ready for this moment where I'm not going to get tired. I'm just going to fucking power the fuck through. Charlamagne Shaming in a jogging? Yes. Yes, he did. A lot of unhappy weights. I want to pay some bills here, but I want to get back and I want to talk about

Akash here has a little bit of predicament with his NFL team, and these are good problems to have. You have great problems, sir. You have great problems, but they could potentially be problems. Obviously, we're talking about the one and only Dallas Cowboys. But before we do that. Baby bladder in the meantime. Go pee, go pee.

When you come back, we will get into it. Guys, as we're talking about football, look, if you found $100 on the street, would you pick it up or would you keep walking? We know exactly what you would do. Don't fucking lie. You're going to keep that shit. You're going to pick it up, put it in your pocket. You're going to take that money. So why do you keep picking winners and not betting them? All right. That's what you should do. You got to check out my bookie. Mybookie.com

is where you can check it out. It's fast. It's easy. And they pay you when you win exactly what they should be doing. Because when you're betting, it's just as important as who you're betting on. That's right. Where you're betting is just as important as who you're betting on. That's right. Where you're betting is just as important as who you're betting on. Did you know that you could bet on games after kickoff? Yeah. And if by the second half it looks like your bet is going to lose, you can always take it. You can always take the other side.

I love it. So think about that. You put some money. Your team's getting washed. Put some money on the other side, get your money back, bro. If you're the kind of person that likes to bet a little and win a lot, try to parlay, okay?

You got to try those parlays. If all your picks come through, you'll multiply your winnings. And no matter how you bet, the NFL season is the best time of year. Join mybookie.com right now, and they will double your first deposit. As long as you use that promo code FLAGRANT, they will double your first deposit up to $1,000. You put in $1,000, they match in $1,000. Time to gamble. Promo code is FLAGRANT. That's MyBookie.com.

Okay? You play, you win, you get paid. I like that. And we back to the show. I think I hear Akash's steps coming back like that. And we back to the show. I think I hear Akash's steps coming back from that. Look at that perfect timing. Right on time, baby bladder. Okay, so here's the reality of the matter.

Akash Singh, a huge Dallas Cowboys fan. Game one in the books, Dallas Cowboys put a shellacking. Should I say shellacking? Yeah. A shellacking. It looks good. Now, as a Dallas Cowboys fan, I know I can't speak for you, but it's obviously exciting to see that happen. You have a contract talk pending with your quarterback, Dak Prescott.

Now, the idea, I would imagine, and please correct me if I'm wrong, you would hope that you get some wins and Dak plays well enough to win, but maybe not so well. You got to pay $40 million a year or whatever the fuck. It's like play good, but play good. So you're watching this game and you see Dak go out and not only have a great game. He was lights out. He was incredible. He had the greatest game of any,

the greatest game won of any Dallas quarterback in history. Yeah. He posted the most yards. He had a perfect quarterback rating. He posted the most yards of any quarterback in Dallas Cowboys history. Where does this leave you emotionally? Because you have to be torn. Here's what I would say.

Pay him if he's going to play like that. If he plays like that, that's worth Russell Wilson money. That's a Russell Wilson performance. That's a Russell Wilson performance. Yeah. I think he's top five all time passer rating or some shit like that, that's worth Russell Wilson money. That's a Russell Wilson performance. That's a Russell Wilson performance. I think he's top five all-time passer rating or some shit like that. That was a perfect passer rating. Yesterday he was perfect passer rating, but all-time.

He's got an all-time grade as well. He has the minimum attempts now to qualify for one of the greatest. I've always liked Dak. I didn't think he was going to figure it out like that. I think New York also sucks. But that... Pay that that guy i wouldn't have paid zeke i'd have paid dak first regardless because i also do think dak is like a leader and like yes all these things that aren't supposed to like stat guys don't care about they to me it's

like no motherfuckers follow this guy i know he works hard he's got that that i'll do whatever the fuck it takes work ethic wisewise to win thing that I like. I didn't think he'd put together like that. That's fast. Now, question. Do you think that he has improved from last year? How much is improvement? How much is this becoming the quarterback that maybe he's destined to be?

And how much is this him taking advantage of a shitty team? No, no, no. Not only – I taking advantage of a shitty team? No, no, no, no. Not only – I'm talking about a shitty team. Of a shitty – maybe a shitty secondary. I'd say if I had to divide it between three things, it would probably be 33-33-33. One is he worked really hard. He does work really hard.

Two, the offensive coordinator made things easy for him. This is a new offensive coordinator. Kellen Moore, right? Kellen Moore. And like a lot of it is just here's motion before the play. Like there's a lot of –ellen Moore. And a lot of it is just, here's motion before the play. There's a lot of the Chiefs do a lot of pre-snap motion just to confuse the defense for a split second. Yes.

Okay, let's have everybody go in motion on the left, and then we'll throw a screen to the right or whatever. Uh-huh. I think that's about a third of it. He made it easier for Dak, and then a third of it is the Giants may just suck. Because what they said, they said they didn't really run anything new. They just did a lot of pre-snap offense as a ranch that they were comfortable with.

And they replaced Cole Beasley with fucking Randall Cobb, who's like an all-time great slot receiver. Right. You know what I'm saying? But can he rap? But does he have bars? Remember that video of us listening to Cole? You were so pissed off.

I hated it, dude. My gosh, we're so fucking infuriated. Keep on going, Kaz. You think the upgraded wide receiver core, obviously Randall Cobb is not elite wide receiver, but he's in the tier maybe below the second tier.

He's a very good slot receiver. He's a top five slot receiver. He's healthy. He hasn't been healthy the last couple years either. Who was Aaron Rodgers? He's a great slot receiver. He is a top five slot receiver. If he's healthy. He hasn't been healthy the last couple years either. But when he was with Aaron Rodgers. He's a great slot receiver. Okay, so now you have upgraded in that position. And Cole was good. Yeah, Cole was good.

Cole was really good. Amari. Amari was probably a little bit more, a little stronger. More physical, yeah. Cole's a little shiftier. Amari Cooper could take the top off any time. The biggest improvement of wide receivers, Cobb is big, but Michael Gallup is in his second year.

And sometimes you don't think about that. Hey, this guy's going into his second year, so he's going to be that much better than he was his first year. Hey, he's going into

his third year, so he's that much better than he was in his second year. And he's got chemistry with Dak already. And now they've got a year of chemistry built in. That's a great point

I didn't even think about. So like, I expected big things from Gallup, and I think this is going to be, not every game, but he's going to take a big step forward. I expected big things from Gallup, and I think this is going to be, not every game, but he's going to take a big step forward. I heard good things about him coming out. Everybody

was high on him. And he was good last year, but he was just a rookie. I mean, just that, I mean, yo, not to get too hype, like, they're just loaded. I don't know. I'm looking at that team. On paper, it's crazy. I've been looking at them since preseason. I'm like, the defense looks good. The offensive line looks good. Dakx hooping fucking zeke's gonna be zeke

cooper looked great fucking cobbler like i don't see a like glaring flaw on that team where i'm like they can look good now but like in a couple weeks it's gonna catch up to them so it's a weird thing the national media is all picking them to go like nine and seven eight and eight seven and nine local media the ticket everybody's like i don't i don't see a weakness this should be this should be 25 years we get let down but this should be the best team we've had since the 90s yeah them and the saints are the only two teams in the nfc i'm like i don't i don't see jack get a deal during the season apparently it was imminent before game one and then jerry after game one was like a deal during the season? Apparently it was imminent before game one. And then Jerry, after game one, was like, a deal with Dak is imminent. And we don't know what that means.

Could be tomorrow, could be this week, could be next month. Do you pay him more than Carson Wentz? He's going to want more than Carson Wentz, and I think you're going to have to pay him more than Carson Wentz. I'll be honest with you. Because he's won more, he's more durable, his numbers are comparable at least. The durability is what gets me. That's all I'm paying. He's going to be there.

I'm not only paying durability, but if you don't reward durability in the NFL, you are a fucking idiot. Carson Wentz cannot stay healthy. He will get injured again. It's not even a question. His body is not built to maintain this type of punishment. Some guys are. Dak looks

corn-fed. Dak is a bulldog. He's a hoss. He was like that Mississippi State. He's just a big fucking boy and if you're not corn fed you better have that ability to

fall on the ground like Eli Manning had Eli just dropped remember if you're not corn fed you know what it is

you gotta you can't scramble Carson Wentz will run on you and he's great you can't do it Aaron Rodgers he doesn't like he'll just get first downs he's you and he's great. You can't do it. Aaron Rodgers, he doesn't like,

he'll just get first downs. He's not trying to pick up big. He's not pushing it. He's not pushing it. No contact. But he'll still get hurt. He will. Tom Brady don't really get hurt

because he's in the pocket. In the pocket, I can protect myself a little bit. I can curl up. And it seems like those guys get hurt less. If you're not a fucking hoss, if you're not Cam Newton or Deck,

you better be real hesitant to run. Even Cam. Cam will play, but he'll play shitty because he's hurt. And Cam is also trying to run people over, and you gotta be smart and still slide. Check the ego, dog. They do designed runs for him and Josh Allen and these other big boy quarterbacks

where it's like, you do designed runs for your quarterback, that's not gonna... Or just slide. That's it. If you don't get the first down, fine, slide. And that's the tricky thing with not having a coach that you actually can trust and build with because they will sacrifice their quarterback's health for their own success. That's a great point.

So here you have a guy like Josh Allen who might not want to run 15 times a game, but you have this coach who's like, well, I want to keep making millions of dollars coaching. I don't care if this kid gets injured. Because what happens if he gets injured? We just go back to sucking like we were before? I got nothing to lose. Lamar Jackson.

Perfect. So let's talk about Lamar. Yeah. I was worried about him. Lamar had this amazing game. Now, he did have this amazing game against a team that is actively tanking. Yes. And I told you guys this earlier this year.

You're right. I had a little insider information. They're actively tanking so they can get to a, you have multiple players in the team after the game go, I want to trade. Now, no one really requests trades in the NFL. I mean, like multiple players. I think you request trades when it's quite obvious

that your team is not here to win. Absolutely. And I feel bad, to be honest, for this fucking coach. Because this coach doesn't realize it, but his ass is out of there. Of course, of course. He's not going to keep him there for fucking Ty Lua

or Jalen Hurts or what the fuck. I don't know if he's eligible yet. Trevor Lawrence? Yeah, Trevor Lawrence. He's not eligible until next year, but it's Tua. They're going after Tua. It's Tua. They're going after Tua. It's Tua. And it's a Tua sweepstakes. They fucking want it.

And if they get it, God bless them. But that's why I just want us to be a little bit. I was about to say, like. Let's pump the brakes on what's-his-face, Lamar Jackson. I think Lamar's going to be good. No question. I don't want to run him 20 times a game. Please don't. We both, I think we've all maybe always thought he's going to be good.

Yeah. But here's what I don't understand for the Dolphins. First of all, why would you trade a second-round pick? I actually feel bad for Josh Rosen. Yeah. You trade a second-round pick for this guy, and then you trade all his protection, and now you're like, well, you're just here for a year. I feel for him, bro.

He was the old Trevor Lawrence. He was Chosen Rosen coming in college. He was the fucking quarterback. He was like the quarterback prodigy coming out you know why they call them the chosen yeah because he's jewish yeah yeah not because of the money they're the chosen people in the bible that's why i don't know why i did this was that too much yeah my fault, Jews. My fault, Jews. I'm sorry. Jews watching this, that's not what I meant. Hey, my bad, Jews.

My bad. I fucked with the Jews. You think that's how Germany said it? Hey, Jews. That's our fault. We fucked up. But I feel bad for Josh Rosen, man. That's on us, y'all.

The gays and the Jews. I'm not fucking with them at all. I'm sorry. But nah nah Josh Rosen I feel for him Because he was a guy Who coming out of college Coming out of high school

Was like Oh this is the next Fucking dude And he looked like it Sometimes at UCLA But you know That situation Was that great

You know where he Gonna end up going Now that we're talking Where Where the fuck You think Josh Rosen Gonna end up Gosh

The Patriots son He gonna trade Josh Rosen For going to end up? The Patriots, son. He's going to trade Josh Rosen for a fifth-round pick, and then he's going to sit him on the bench and be like, learn from Tom Brady, he's got a couple more years. He wants to play until he's 45, you'll be in there. You think? That's actually a brilliant idea. I bet that's why. But is he good enough?

Rosen? What's Belichick? We'll find out. But he'll know. He'll know already. How is Garoppolo playing, by the way? He looks like shit. He didn't look good? He looked like shit. And I'm starting to feel bad because I was on early on the Garoppolo train.

Right. And he was in New England. And that was the first couple games in San Francisco. I'm like, oh, no, he looks like he's the real deal. And he just hasn't looked it. I think his leg is still kind of like not all the way there yet. You know, like he threw a couple ducks against who the fuck they played. He threw a pick six.

Yeah. To Richard Sherman. The Buccaneers, you know what I mean? Like, they didn't look that, he didn't look that good. He didn't look that good, man, so. They won, though, right? 31-17. They won, yeah, because, you know.

Tampa sucks and Jameis sucks. Fucking famous Jameis sucks ass. Hold on. Richard Sherman is on the Bucs now. The Bucs. Niners. Oh, Niners. Oh, Jameis threw a pick six then. Yeah, Jameis sucks. Fucking famous Jameis sucks ass. Hold on. Richard Sherman is on the Bucs now. Diners. No. Oh, Niners. Oh, Jameis threw a pick six then.

Yeah. Yeah, Jameis threw the pick six. Yeah, Jameis threw the pick six. I think Garoppolo threw one too, though. I think so. Anyway. Yeah, but they look bad. Oh, real quick.

Sorry. The point I was going to make about the Dolphins getting Tua. If you get Tua, you have no one to protect him. You are going to throw this guy to the fucking wolves. You have to get him and then sit him and draft linemen and hope they become good. Which is why I don't think tanking in the NFL works. That's what I'm getting at. It doesn't make any sense to me.

I don't understand the idea of tanking in the NFL. There's 22 positions at a time. Yeah. Yeah, because tanking only gets you one position. And it's the most important one, but it's one. And as good as a quarterback as you are, you're not making up for those other 22 positions. Right, right, right. Even if you're, like, even if you've got a shit ton of cap space and you could, like, get really good offensive linemen and pieces and stuff, they still got to gel.

You still got to build something. Like, if you're going to tank, you got to tank strategically. Like, you got to be able to be like, all right, we're tanking for a quarterback, okay? Let's get a bunch of, let's get some really good offensive linemen. Let's get a really good offensive lineemen, let's get a really good offensive line unit, let's get like maybe a decent running back

so we can show, hey, these guys can block, they can do this, this, that. Right. And then just fucking lose. Yeah. Just blow it in the third quarter. It's a weird strategy.

It doesn't make any sense to be that actively bad. Right. That being said, I still think Lamar, like that was one thing I was adamant about. I'm like,

Lamar Jackson's gonna take a leap this year. I think he's going to be good. He is. People, I don't know why people were so low on him after Louisville. Like, he won the Heisman Trophy. I couldn't understand it. He put up better numbers his second year, but wasn't, like, in the Heisman conversation

because I think they lost, like, two games or some shit. And then, like, he dropped behind guys like Josh Rosen and Josh Allen and all this shit. Went to the Ravens. Got to the playoffs. Didn't throw for shit, but they ran the fucking college offense. They just ran the ball a million fucking times. I watched them live. He was very impressive.

But he was fucking good. I'll get you into that game. Yeah. Shouts at assholes that took us to that game, man. Thank you. I remember that. I remember that. But yeah, he's very impressive, but he didn't strike me as an NFL quarterback when I watched

it because they didn't treat him like one. Well, they didn't let him throw. They didn't let him throw. They didn't let him throw. And now they let him throw the ball and he had this exceptional first three quarters of the game. I think they didn't even play him the fourth, right? So, as you know, I guess what I'm saying is I would love to

see him play a game against a team that is decent. You don't even have to be a good team. That's my sleeper AFC team. That's been my sleeper AFC team for the rest of the year. I think they got Earl Thomas, who could still go. They got Mark Ingram, who looked really good for the Saints last year, looked good yesterday.

And they're still going to run the shit out the ball. So even if he doesn't have – I don't mind that situation. When you have Mark Ingram, right? Mark Ingram has gravity behind him. Yes. If you send him Mark up the middle, right? You got you need two or three people to take him. And then what happens if those two or three. If oh, if those two or three, you throw it or you run it like I think the play action run game is going to be interesting because Mark is not going to be tackled by one guy.

Right. You need multiple guys to take him down. And then that frees up Lamar. And you don't want to be chasing after him. I think Lamar is ghosting any linebacker. You think there's a linebacker that's chasing down Lamar? He is the fastest quarterback. You need a corner. That's what I'm saying. So it's like you do either some sort of option or you do some sort of fake handoff.

What was it? They would do a— The RPO? A run-pass option? No, no. You're talking about the option. Yeah, but there's like an option like the college option where you roll out and you can toss or not.

But I also think there's something where it's like fake handoff and then you run the opposite way. The counter. The counter. Maybe that's it. But all I'm saying is you have, because of a guy who's as big and just like you need multiple guys to tackle him as Ingram, you set up this situation where it's a

foot race. I want Lamar in a foot race against your linebacker. Two guys? You're going to stop them. But if it's one guy, if it's your middle linebacker that's scrambling to chase him down, there's no way. And then you have him against some corners, and look, that's going to be

a fun... And that's always been my easy Super Bowl playoff pick. Can you run the ball? Can you stop the ball? The Ravens do that very well. That's why they're always good in the playoffs. And they're always good. They always have a good defense. Once that pretty offense ain't as pretty, people have seen it for 19 weeks or whatever.

Everybody's locked in. We know what plays you're gonna do. We know everything's gonna happen. It's a battle of attrition. Because real talk, that's what it is. It's like, in the playoffs, the defense knows every play you're going to do. They've looked at every single play, every single running play, every single passing play.

They know the play. Or they know when you're lined up like this, it could be three different things. So they know the play. But they don't know... You can't teach stopping 240 pounds running straight down. In the cold cold in December. To the earlier discussion, when assholes get tight, you know what that affects?

Offense. If I'm playing basketball and my asshole gets tight, it doesn't affect me on defense. It affects my jumper. It affects my ability to throw pinpoint accuracy. It affects my ability to catch. That anxiety can make you guard a little harder, like run a little harder. But that touch- It doesn't affect tackling. Defense, I just got to tackle. It can make you guard a little harder, like run a little harder. But that touch. It doesn't affect tackling.

Defense, I just got to tackle. This is it. There is no. For corners, like you said earlier, yes, it does. But if you're a linebacker and a guy's running at you and you just have to wrap your arms around him, my asshole can be open or close. Yeah. I'm still going to be able to wrap my arms around him. Instinct, read and react.

Let's go. Fun time. It's good to be back. Yeah. It's good to be back. It's good to be back. I love it. All the Europeans watching are like, why do they give so much of a fuck about football?

But you got to admit, part of you is like, I want to get into it. It's the best. It's a fun sport. You can't. I think the biggest problem of understanding football for people who didn't grow up with it is you have to understand the supply of it.

Right? We only get 16 games. It's a relatively short season compared to all the major sports. It is the shortest. You have to look at it similar to people who watch Formula 1. Yeah. Right? Like, this is a big event, it happens,

and then we don't get it for another month or week or whatever the fuck it is. We have 16 of these. That's all. It is the playoffs. The second the season starts, you're in the playoffs. Right? So every game matters.

Every season is different. Like Barcelona is going to make it to the finals every single year. Manchester United or whatever the fuck is going to make it every single year. Right? Bayern Munich is going to make it every single year. Manchester United, whatever the fuck, is going to make it every single year. Bayern Munich is going to make it every single year. We don't know who the fuck outside of the Patriots is going to make it to at least playoffs every single year. We've seen it.

The reason why the NFL is so intriguing is that when a new season starts, every team legitimately has a shot to turn it around. And then halfway through the season, every team legitimately has a shot to turn it around. And then halfway through the season, every team legitimately has a shot to turn it around. It is a wild sport that I completely understand you might not get if you did not have a history or pedigree with it. But I'm trying to make it digestible for them. And it'd be really cool to see Europeans, for whatever reason get this weird affinity for football.

It'll happen. No, because real talk, it is the easiest sport to travel in a lot of ways. Like basketball, playing a game in London and then playing the next two days later in America will kill you. You're on a bye week where you already have a week off.

Your next game is in London. Yeah. Or your next game is on Thursday in London. Now you've had enough game days to acclimate. Nine days off. Right? It's like, oh, shit. You could easily play in Spain.

You could easily play in Germany. The NFL is going to take a team to London, they're saying. And they should. Yeah. I think Mexico City makes a lot more sense. And it does. Yeah. But that's why they do the two, three games in London every year.

They're just trying to introduce the idea of football to them. And apparently they love it. They're into it. Not every person in London gives a fuck, but it's big enough out there. Do you think that our tailgates are crazy? Once you get these soccer fans into football, dog, and they're like, wait, it's all right to fight? You want it? Gosh, even non-Londoners. I love up at like 8 a.m. on the East Coast

and there's a whole football game like going on. Oh, yeah. And then they play that and then there's the regular one o'clock slate. It's fucking awesome. I love it. Anyway, look, I'm sure we could talk football all day. We have some other stuff that we want to get into. But before we do that, we got to pay some of these bills, man.

We got to shout out to the GOAT sponsor, Blue Chew, man. You already know who it is. For all the new listeners out here, get your dicks hard. Okay? Stop playing no fucking games. Stop giving your girl that lazy dick, that sloppy dick, that rainbow dick, bending all over the place. Nah.

Ah, you bend over, I guess. Yeah. I was like, what is that? That Skittles dick. That's fucking Skittles dick, that rainbow dick, bending all over the place. Nah. Ah, you bend over, I guess. Yeah. I was like, what is that? That Skittles dick. That fucking Skittles dick, bro. Stop that shit, okay? You got to get rock hard. You got to get blue chew, all right?

It's not a game. You go out there. It's got the same active ingredient that's in Cialis and Viagra, FDA approved, all the good stuff. They're mailing it right to your door, and you know what? It's free. All you need to do is $ dollars shipping and it's free that's right they're gonna let you try it for free they're gonna let you give your girl the night of her life for free they're gonna let your boyfriend give you the night of your life for free all you gotta do is

sign it up everything's done online you don't gotta go to a doctor none of these weird pharmacy visits you're on a big line you're asking for some pills shit, and everybody else behind you knows what the fuck it is. None of that. Okay? This is what you do. You order it online. They send it to your house, and you dick down.

You dick down. Okay? Flagrant. That's the promo code. That's what gets you your first shipment free. F-L-A-G-R-A-N-T. $5 shipping, all you pay. And that's bluechew.com.

B-L-U-E-C-H-E-U.com. Promo code flagrant. Try it free. Try it now. Join the army. If you don't believe it, just ask the people. Just ask the other assholes who have tried it. Just ask their girlfriends who are still smiling and walking funny today.

That's what you got to do. Bluechew.com. Now let's get back to the show. If you want to travel to a place where you won't need any boner pills because you'll be hard the entire time. Really? It's like that.

Just go to Russia. Speak for yourself. What are you talking about? No. No, tell us. I want to hear you lie because I'll call you out right now. I'll call you out right now. Go.

I'll call you out right now. I want to hear all about this. No, no, no. Go, go, go, go. I'll call you out right now. Call you out right now. You don't understand. I'm saying this for different reasons.

What do you mean? I'm just saying maybe I heard they have insatiable appetites where you might need a blue chew to go multiple rounds I thought you were going to try to act like they weren't fine bitches in Russia maybe we went to

I'll bet maybe you need it that's just what I heard Alex can react to absolutely everything and nobody sees him. So I can just see what the fuck he's getting at and nobody else can. And it's hilarious. If you need to go multiple rounds, which you might have to do because they have an insatiable appetite for dicks of different color, you might need some blue chew. Is that because it's the

only happiness they got let me tell you something we're gonna get into oh that's good we're gonna get into the whole country it's just a i went to russia alex and mark have come with me they have a comedy festival the punchline fest that they've been doing and um a greater conversation about about this is the conversation of comedy, and we can get to that in a little bit later. Now we'll just talk about the city of Russia, but this amazing festival, this guy Al Volvo in Moscow, Russia, and Ksenia, and other people are helping them and putting it on.

They have a comedy club out there. It's a beautiful fucking comedy club, man, and they're obsessed with comedy. They had an interpreter happening live. That's crazy. so some people would have the headphones on like in the un and uh it was just a unreal experience to go there um not only and and we'll get into the comedy aspect of it later but comedy is something really happening there they have we went to a bar show the night before as part of the festival that was you've heard of the kill tony podcast tony hiv hinchcliffe brian redpan and these guys they had the russian kill tony there they had

russian roast battle they are they are creating comedy uh just like we're doing in the states and this is happening all around the world and it is such an amazing thing to see and that's and we'll get into that about comedy is really new hip-hop later. I was about to say, is it like how Asians love hip-hop the way Russians take comedy? We'll get into it. Yeah, I want to get into that as its own, please. But I first want to talk about these bitches out here because they were fucking – Okay, this is – let me just – Alex is grabbing his hip right now.

That's not his hip. That shit is worn out. So, here's the thing. When we talk about attractive women, right? So, it's like, this is something just to put in perspective

the attractiveness of the women in Russia. And keep in mind, they're not all what you might think of right now as just blonde-haired, blue-eyed Russian women.

That's not what I thought. Okay, good. So Russia is actually very diverse. It's just diverse with their shit. We have this idea of diversity that is black and white and then the things that happen in between when you mix black and white. Okay. Right? So you have black and white. Okay. Right?

So you have black, you have white, and then you have like Latin Americans, and then there's a little Native American in there. And then you could sprinkle a few Asians, but you're not really in like the cultural idea as much. You're like sprinkles, if you will. Right? There's flavors of ice cream, and then there are sprinkles, Indians, Asians, these types of things.

Okay. and then there are sprinkles, Indians, Asians, these types of things. So Russia is such a massive geographical space that the whole right side of it, they all look Chinese. That's what I thought, yeah. You're right, 100%, because it's Asia. They're all fucking Korea-looking, right? And then you have a—they're the Muslim version. A lot of the Asian-looking ones are Muslim. And then you have the Muslim guys where they look kind of Muslim, but they're not they are the Muslim version a lot of the Asian looking ones are Muslim

and then you have like the Muslim guys where they look kind of Muslim but they're like white Muslim what's a white Muslim look like? disgusting so these are the people where like on two levels so

so these are the people where it's like Khabib okay the way I describe it's like Khabib. Okay. Okay. Okay. The way I describe it is like, you know, like, like you get like a new, uh, a sneaker, like a new Air Force One. And then, you know, you wear it for like a month.

That's them. It's like, they're white, but like something has happened. You know what I mean? Like. He's got some character. They've been worn in a bit. There's some creases. They've seen some action. They've seen some action. Literally. You know what I mean? he's got some character they've been worn in a bit there's some creases they've seen some action

they've seen some action literally you know what I mean like a lot of prayer so so they're those white guys right

and they're from like Azerbaijan like Kazakhstan Uzbekistan like all these types of people and they're all like kind of like mixed there's like the Chechen component

right and these people are like from the Caucasus mountains right they call them Caucasians. They also call them black. Okay. Okay.

So their Caucasians are black. So they have – all right. You just call non-white people black there basically. Okay. But how hilarious is it that their Caucasians are also called black? But they're only called Caucasians because they're from the Caucasus Mountains. The fact that we call America- So that's like calling Steve Nash African.

Yes. Okay. Because he's from South Africa. Because he's from South Africa. Yes. He's from Johannesburg. But those are the people that are actually from the Caucasus Mountain region. Got it.

Right? So it's kind of weird why we even call Caucasians Caucasus Mountain region. Got it. Right? So it's kind of weird why we even call Caucasians Caucasians in America. It was three races, apparently. It was Caucasoid, Mongoloid. Oh, Caucasoid, Mongoloid. Negroid. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You didn't want to say it. You can say Negroid. It's okay. It's Negroid. Dude. Negroid is the final boss in Metroid. You've got to play that video game as a kid. So, okay.

So, basically, so Caucasian, we misuse. We should just use Caucasian, but it's Caucasian. Okay. So within that, there's all this diversity. You'll see like Chinese looking chicks that are 100% like Russian, act Russian, like just are. And all these different people. So it is diverse, just not in our sensibility of diversity. But when we were walking around Moscow,

and I can't speak for outside of the big city, but I felt like I was seeing a lot of different types of people, just their types. We only saw 20 black people the whole time. We counted. Yeah, we had a bet going. Alex won the bet. I won.

Well, you were in like the main city. You were in Moscow, right? Yeah, yeah, Moscow was the main city. 12 million people. So we saw 20 and about five of them were at the airport leaving, so I almost won. I was 25. Alex said 20. Mark said 15.

Okay. And Mark kind of won because it was just an aggregate of all the blacks at the airport. You know what I mean? But a lot of them could have been laying over. Possible. Yeah. Possible. Doubtful.

Where would they go? You're laying over in Moscow. If a black person is in Russia, it's Moscow. I guarantee it. It's not checking out Siberia for the heights. So we're there. And in the airport, just to put a perspective on how beautiful the women are. Right.

In the airport, we're leaving. And we see this digital ad with Margot Robbie. You're familiar with the actress Margot Robbie. Baddest white bitch in the game. Right. Baddest white bitch in the game. We're looking at this ad of Margot Robbie. And're familiar with the actress Margot Robbie. Baddest white bitch in the game. Right. Baddest white bitch in the game. We're looking at this ad of Margot Robbie and I stop and I look at the ad and I'm not bullshitting you when I say this.

It looked, it looked like they made a mistake. After being in Russia for four days, we were looking at Margot Robbie, like, why would they put a five in an advertisement for a major fashion brand? She looked, and this is Margot Robbie, who I've watched, The Wolf of Wall Street, I've watched her in, and I was like, ain't nobody better than Margot Robbie.

First time I saw a movie, I'm like, this is the baddest white woman out there. She's a dime, right? In my whole life, I thought she's 100% dime. I'm telling you the distortion that you experience when you're in Russia. It's crazy. The distortion that you experience is when we look at that ad. And all three of you felt this way.

What did I say to you when I bumped you? What did I say to you? You said that exact thing, and immediately I agreed. It blew my mind, and it's like, now I think I'm fucked up. Son. It will come back. It will come back. It will. it's like, now I think I'm fucked up. Son. It will come back. It will come back. It will.

It's like spicy food. It's like you're in Mexico City for three weeks. You're like, oh, I can eat spicy. Then you go off of it for a while, and then you can barely have Cholula. Like, it's just part of it, right? But the thing is this. You have, when you say see bad bitches, like, when I mean bad bitches, I mean like we have beautiful women in New York, and sometimes you'll see one of these beautiful models and that kind of stuff like that, right bad bitches, I mean we have beautiful women in New York.

And sometimes you'll see one of these beautiful models and that kind of stuff like that. Yeah, New York has got beautiful women. Beautiful, stunning, beautiful women, right? But it's rare you see them as if they were literally taken from the Instagram page. Okay. You know what I mean by that? You'll see bitches there. They got the filters on.

Walking around. Walking around with the filter. I'm surprised we didn't see no fucking bunny ears on these bitches right i'm talking about exactly lipstick everything done and it was literally as if somebody put their fingers in into an instagram photo and pulled them out and then just placed them on the streets it was like the first time i went to dr like the first time I went to DR. Like the first time I went to DR and I felt like every, well, in the city, every woman looked like a video girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so like Margot Robbie's kind of like the baseline of hotness in Russia or was it just

like- Regular. She's like a five or six. No, no, no, no, no, no. Let me clarify. Look, let me clarify. Now- No, compared.

I know what you're saying, and I agree with you. We are not saying Margot Robbie's a 5'6". That's a fucking stunningly beautiful woman. What she is is common in Russia. Got it. It is not uncommon. Like, to put in perspective the attractiveness, you'd see hot chicks, like like that you shouldn't see walking around the street

just walking yeah does that make sense yeah like like it's just random like yeah you go to One Oak

or you go to one of these clubs and you're gonna find a few of these cause they're supposed to be there cause they're supposed to be there cause they paid to be there I'm talking about just going to get lemonades like it's just

it was whatever so stunning and we're not talking about just blonde hair blue eyes right we're talking about black jet black hair piercing blue eyes like a husky. Like, odd.

Like if someone could turn Elvis into a bad bitch. What? Yes. What? I don't know why your brain went there, but all right. I don't know. It's the only thing I could think about black hair and blue eyes, right? It was, But then like

A little Asian-y looking Right Arabic looking A little like Son The shit was real Oh my god And all of them done up

All of them done up Ain't no fucking lazy Like American shit Where like Don't even leave the house Without looking fire You know where the Girls in America are like bad

So they do this thing Where like I'm gonna shave half my head And show you that I'm not all about my body you're walking around in Hollywood I'm more important

stupid ass hoes stupid ass shit fuck outta here like you know this where they like embrace like the ugly thing as a way to like push back against

society's you know objectifications you know like Zendaya yeah Zendaya like purposely uglies herself and shit

yeah yeah like but grow up yeah if she if she puts herself together, she's a baddie. Yep. Yeah, it's that...

Same thing with the girl from, like, Black-ish, I think. She does that, too. Grows her unibrow and shit. None of that Frida Kahlo-ass shit where you, like, try to make yourself ugly to make a statement.

These bitches are out here trying to get married. Stunners. Trying to get made. Stop appropriating ugly bitch culture. Yes. You know how mad I'd be if I was an ugly bitch?

You ain't paying for all your drinks, are you, like me, bitch? Son, they out there. They are out there, bro. Oh, my gosh. So, see you out there. Finest of the fine. Okay?

Just wild experience. Like Sweden, you see some... I didn't think it could be better than Sweden. I haven't been to Brazil, but I didn't think there could be, like, a white haven't been to Brazil, but I didn't think there could be like a white chick place that was better than Sweden. But I found it. Wow. Elite white woman in Sweden and Russia.

I could see that. Yeah, and it's more elite in Russia. It just is. And the reason it is... Not even Australia? I thought Australia had bad white chicks. It's... You ever look at like Russian chicks and you're like, why are their fucking cheekbones so high? Like white girls usually ain't built like that with these like why the cheekbones so high like white girls usually ain't built like that with these high-ass cheekbones well i'll tell you why who has high

cheekbones asians yeah they in there they in there on the low okay you know what i'm saying it's like they it's like they took the best versions of both yeah yeah you know what i mean and like put them together now you see some weird looking motherfuckers. Bro, we saw- Sometimes the mix doesn't really- I seen this Asian bitch built like a blowfish. Bro, this girl, it looked like she was taking a deep ass breath, bro. She was like this.

Her stomach was out crazy. Remember that one girl? Son, low key, you know how sometimes you see Asians waddle when they walk? Yeah. It looked like they gave birth to her. Because this girl's head was so fucking big, the ability to get it out of there is going to fuck you up for the rest of your life, bro.

It was insane. I'm wrong? No, no, no. It's called the Joe Kim Noah mixes. Son, not every single one is going to be perfect. But... Like Magikarp. The what? I appreciate that. I appreciate that.

I'm sorry. That was before our time. So we're there. Beautiful. Obviously beautiful. The first thing you assume, right, when you're in Russia as an American is, like you said, like no sense of humor, very grim, you know, not very happy. Very serious.

Yeah, very serious. Very serious people. And we were driving back from the airport. said like no sense of humor very grim you know not very happy serious yeah very serious very serious people and we were driving back from the airport this guy volvo picked us up at the airport who's part of the festival and owns the club comic out there as well and um i was just i was just asking him some things and i was like you know like so what is your take on the whole you know like putin thing like how do you and he was like he goes you know honestly I did not know enough information

to say so I don't you know it's very nuanced these things are very nuanced there's a lot more so I cannot say exactly you know

and my first reaction was like wow that's such like a poignant answer like Americans you just ask us maybe having opinions you don't know shit

hype about pears who the fuck eats pears Rick Ross why the fuck you eat pears? Who the fuck eats pears? Ross, why the fuck do you eat pears? You know what I mean? Like, we just,

anything we'll tell you. Yeah. And then I asked another person a question later and I was like, what do you feel about this? Oh, shit. Now you want to know. I got you.

So I was like, what do you feel? And he goes, the problem with these things is very specific. The knowledge you need to know is very specific. I cannot give an exact answer

because I don't know. It's very nuanced information. And I kept kind of getting this answer and I was like, oh, they're worried that they'll be killed. Yep, yep, yep. Freedom of opinions. We got freedom of opinions over here.

Yes, so there is no cost to our crazy hot take. Russia doesn't have hot takes. No. Right? Everything there is fucking cold to our crazy hot take. Russia doesn't have hot takes. No. Right? Everything there is fucking cold. So, okay, and it's a twofold thing where it's like for 90 years, it's ingrained in them.

And I spoke to this guy, Al, on the podcast I did with him in Volvo, and I was asking about that. And he goes, you have to understand, for 90 years, if there was somebody that was just kind of like smiling or like going about their day or like seemingly in a good mood, people were curious as to why. And they were like, just kill that motherfucker. He might be trying to plan a revolt.

He might be trying to – like what are you up to? What's going on with you? If you said something against the dictatorship, just get him. It was easier to kill. 30 years ago, they're killing each other in the streets in Moscow. Like it's crazy how fast – how much has been overcome since then. So it's like, and now they're not doing that anymore. But just to clarify, it's like, this is where they're coming from.

So people are still on edge. Right? Like, it's still a little bit of a, can I say that? And that's where comedy comes into play. Yeah, comedy is important in those places. Yes. Because Oscar Wilde said, if you want to tell someone the truth, make them laugh. Because if you don't, they'll kill you.

Yeah. And comedy in Russia and so many of these other places in the world, in India, in Romania, Bulgaria, all these fucking places. Singapore. Singapore, Malaysia, South America has become this perfect outlet because you can say how you feel about the world and people won't take you seriously because you're joking around. In medieval kingdoms, the only person that could make fun of the king was a jester.

Alright, so did you get some Russian jokes off? Oh yeah, dude. He got it. I mean, the first joke I told was at this, I did kill Tony and they just said my name that I'm coming upstage. I didn't say I was going to go on or anything, but they were just like – and I was like, all right, fuck it. And the joke I did was about Putin. And I'll kind of tell you guys the joke now.

Are you guys familiar with Catherine the Horsefucker or Catherine the Great? She was a Russian queen that actually died from getting fucked by a horse. Oh, wow. They would call her Catherine the Great and Catherine the Horse Fucker. She was into getting fucked by horses. And I basically said, remember when that picture came out with Vladimir Putin with his shirt off on a horse? And I was like, I didn't think that that was silly.

I thought it was progress. That's funny. Right? You guys went from being under the horse to being on top of it, right? Just a little joke, but I needed to be like, I'll go at Putin. Yeah. But I'll be honest, when I said Putin at the show, and I did it with an interpreter, I said a line, then he would translate.

When I said Putin, silent. Yeah. Like in America, if you go up and you're like, all right, blah, blah, blah. But you're also- Epstein. You went at Putin strategically. You weren't going at Putin. You were saying progress. Right. if you go up and you're like, all right, blah, blah, blah. But you're also- Epstein. You went at Putin strategically. You weren't going at Putin.

You were saying progress. Right. Now, the initial joke was the other way, but I thought the funniest version of the joke was to be like, now you're not fucking horses. You're just on top of them, blah, blah, blah. But I wanted to talk about the guy you're not supposed to talk about.

And then I had some other bits. We'll put them out in Dropping In where I'm talking about just, you're not supposed to talk about, you know? And so, um, and then I had some other bits. We'll put them out and dropping in where I'm talking about just, you know, Russian culture and just like a little history and that kind of stuff. But I had a few bits that we'll put out. And, um, you know, one about Chernobyl, which was kind of fun and like, yeah, I heard about, yeah. FAA told me that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, there's a couple about Chernobyl and then it was good. There's, there was good. Yeah. FAA had a good, FAA had a told me that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a couple about Chernobyl, and then it was good. There was good. Yeah, F.A. had a good – F.A. had a really good idea.

And he goes – and basically, so we're there. We're doing like stand-up, and it was cool. It was great to see them all do it. And the people have a sense of humor. English is still a barrier. Like I spoke way slower than I would normally speak. But there are people that speak English and they fucking love it and they come out and they want it. And you have all these comics that are like doing this comedy and it's – that's where it becomes hip-hop. Hip-hop was this voice for the underdogs, right?

And the reason the world gravitated towards hip-hop – Not just the voice of the underdogs. It was built because of the underdogs. Of underdogs. Yeah. So here's the problem with hip-hop not only that the problem with hip-hop is you can't come in this is our thing black people were so protective of hip-hop that you ostracize those that weren't look they don't look like you and they're never fully accepted, right? And because of that,

I think comedy can actually be in a way more effective because as long as you're on stage, you're a comic. There's no, but you're not, you know, Greek and technically Greek people invented jokes. There's little, you know, nuances there. Like with hip hop, there's definitely similarities as far as like, oh, you know nuances there like with hip hop there's definitely similarities as far as like oh you're not there

but like you had to be super fucking nice like if you weren't somebody like if you were Eminem like of course Eminem had to deal with

years and years of like oh get this country white boy the fuck out of here before he got over there and was like alright well he's really fucking nice and was just destroying people

before it was like oh okay yeah we'll let this motherfucker in. Sure. And every time Eminem drops an album, there's some think piece about how like, he's not that good. He's only there because he's white. He's one of the greatest to ever.

In fairness to Kaz, there's going to be think pieces about every comic that comes out too. But also, I don't think he was not, I don't think Andrew was knocking rap as much as saying comedy could have the potential to be even bigger because there's no, we are looking and I get why hip-hop looks out for itself but comedy didn't start on a racial level it didn't start from this group of people nothing yeah nothing will be bigger than music what I'm saying is it is more relatable because it's it's ideas that's right and it's like that's what I'm say is like but the way that hip-hop just consumed the world in Asia, in Germany, in Russia. Like, dude, we heard a fire Russian hip hop song.

You remember that shit, Al? I brought that shit back in. This shit was fire. So I saw a hip hop show in Mumbai when I was in India. Dude, there's a big Indian hip hop guy that just did a- There's a hip hop scene that's like really popping up now. And the guy just did a thing with Nas. Yeah, Nas was like heavily featured in this movie about rap in India.

And I saw a show, and one of these kids was fucking nice, dog, dressed like a chaiwala just out there following. A couple of them are really into the hip-hop culture and dress like it's swagged out. But this guy just came up in fucking sandals and cargo pants from 1998. Somebody sold them for a quarter or whatever. And he just fucking killed it, dog. But that's the thing.

So it's like in a time where you can't say anything, the ability to say something is always powerful. Yeah. Right? So like comedy is on the rise now in America, right? Because we're at a peak political correctness. A pendulum swing back. Right. So comedy is exploding because it's like finally the guys that can say something and they can say it because we're making you laugh.

We're not just making statements. We're making you laugh. The whole world is 10 times more restrictive in what you can say. It might not be PC. You might be able to make jokes about women. You might be able to make jokes about different races. But try making fun of the government. Try making fun.

There are different levels to PC. If you make fun of the emperor in Thailand, you might get killed. You will legitimately. There was a comic that did it, I think. And they had to protect him. They had to get him out of the stage in the back. Like he made fun of the money or something. It was on the money.

And the emperor was on the money. And they had to like get him out through the back door because the crowd that wanted to kill him. Yeah. So it's a little different. Right. But so throughout the world, comics are starting to take this and they're starting to run with it. Right. And it's like this amazing thing that's fucking happening with comedy where the same thing happens in every different spot.

Right. It's six comics start start a little scene, they're doing open mics, they're doing it at bars, and then they finally get some money together and they open up a club. This is happening in Romania, right? This guy named Cyr Giu. Crack House in Malaysia,

that's how it started. It happened in fucking Malaysia, right? And you know what? In every different one, there's usually an American or English guy who's familiar with traditional comedy that kind of breaks down the game to them. And he's like involved,

even if periphery that happened in Crack House. I think it happened maybe a little bit in Romania. Definitely there's a guy named Steve who's helping guys out there in Russia. And they start to copy the American formats for the shows as they should run with it. And what I realized is why, and when I was in Russia, why a lot of these guys have been gravitating towards me

is that they can't put their comedy out on the traditional mediums, the networks. And they saw me do it without our traditional networks. So they're like, oh oh shit there is another way and they've leaned into youtube and instagram and seen the success yeah that they've had with it so it's it's so cool to see like that blueprint help comics not only here yeah but like globally you know what it is you know what i think it it is? I think the medium is different, but the messaging and the way of going about it isn't really that much different. It's always like when the front door is closed, whatever that side door is, for you it's YouTube.

For rappers, it was fucking turntables and all that type of shit. SoundCloud. You know what I mean? It's always a backdoor to like, okay, the traditional way isn't working. Some guy found a way that it works this way. We like this guy. It's always something, especially when it comes to creative arts and shit like that. Whatever that backdoor is, that side door is, always gets more celebrated because it's like, oh, shit, this guy found a different way to make it work you know what i mean like no matter what we will find a way exactly

especially in countries where that shit is like restricted yeah you know so it's dope it is it was so cool to see and i know that this is happening all over and i'm just so bullish on comedy just being the next huge global movement it It is going to be a thing. And I remember you saying this years ago, dog, you were like, yo, I love the PC thing now because we're not ready yet.

But when we are, people will just be starting to get sick of it. And then that's when we're going to be like primed as comics. And that's, this was, this is like, I remember this conversation 10 years ago. Right.

And I was like, oh no, man, oh, this shit at the time, I was like, this shit seemed like it's here for a minute. And it was a. And I was like, I don't know, man. This shit, at the time, I was like, this shit seemed like it's here for a minute. And it was a minute.

It was a minute. But now it's ended. I think we're here. And without, you can't have this without that. That's what I've come to realize about

all the super PC stuff. As annoyed as I am by it, we need it. Because without them, people aren't looking for us. Flare 2 isn't as successful if it isn't for a bunch of the- Dude, 100%.

And I've said this to people who always- Short-haired fat bitches. They always- God bless short-haired fat bitches. I always say to people when they're asked, like, oh, is it hard to be a comic right now? Is this like the worst time to be a comic? And I'm like, no, this is the best time.

This is by far the best time to be a comic because this is where legends are made. Lenny Bruce did not come up in a time where you could say whatever you want. He came at a time where you couldn't. Richard Pryor did not come up in a time where you could say whatever you want. George Carlin doesn't have a legendary bit

called the seven words you can say on television. Facts. That's why the Chappelle shit was so funny to me when so many think pieces were coming out because I'm like, yo, you really want to be on that side of history? That was like, you can't say that. That's not fun.

Like, when in the history of anything, painting, music, comedy, sports, hip hop, whatever. Yeah, has censorship been the right side of history? That censorship was like the cool thing to do. That's never fucking happened. So I was like, all right, you go and be that. Censorship is always the corn balls and what i realize is that like the second amendment which is you know freedom no sorry the first amendment freedom of speech right is always used as a tool for whatever you want to protect right right so it's like you know censorship used to be this

liberal uh sorry used to be this conservative argument right like when rap music was popping around the conservatives and rock music was, they were both attacking morality and they were attacking God. And what did conservatives always love? Rallying God. So what did conservatives say with rock and rap music? Stop that. You need to stop this rap music.

I don't want to be with those motherfuckers that was rocking with Tipper Gore and shit. That's the type of people that you want to be with? So now, people want to make jokes about trans, LGBTQ women, right? Who are the people trying to censor? Non-LGBTQ. The liberals. The liberals who stand for women's agenda, LGBTQbtq agenda and trans agenda so freedom of speech

is not really freedom of speech for everybody it's just hey don't talk about me that's all the freedom of speech argument is hey no you're talking about me that's always my thing it's like all right when is it okay to make fun of you then like it's just never okay to make fun of you really yes because they ain't got no bars, bro. Get your bars up, dog. Get your bars up. It's going to take a fucking dope-ass trans comedian to come in and just shut shit down. That's why I'm so shocked when gay dudes do trans. That's funny.

That's funny. But that's what's so shocking when gay dudes get offended or when you see the blogs that are like, this is homophobic. It's like, gay dudes got bars. You don't got to come in. You don't got to protect gay dudes get offended or like when you see like the blogs that like are like this is homophobic it's like gay dudes got bars like you don't gotta come you don't gotta protect gay dudes like first of all

gay dudes will fight you cause they've been fighting their whole life they're ready to go and two they will snap on you I never met one gay dude that wasn't ready

to fucking do the dozens or whatever and to be honest most of the jokes we give them they've heard a thousand times they've heard a million times. They've heard a million times

and can't tell me. You can't tell a gay guy something that they haven't heard before. But yo, the worst I've ever felt like... Our disses for gay guys are usually just describing the most fun they have.

It's like, you get butt fucked. He's like, yes, on a good day. It's great. It's like, why would you want me?

Whenever I want. How about you? That was the last time you got laid. God, I went to Purchase College, which is like a notoriously big gay community. Yeah, liberal arts college. Oh, my gosh. The worst I've ever felt is when a gay dude just snapped on my whole fucking outfit. And I had nothing to say bad.

I had no fashion. I was walking around in fucking dirty sweats and beat up Jordans and shit. And he just fucking roasted me. And I was just like, and I had nothing to say bad. I don't know. I don't know fashion. I was walking around fucking dirty sweats and like beat up George and shit. And he just fucking just roasted me. And I was just like. You think that's why black people are so homophobic? You got it. They just don't make fun of like. Ain't too sensitive about their outfits.

I'm like, yo, you got it, brother. What can you say back? Yo, fashion police is responsible for the gay, for the homophobia in the black community. Real talk. Wow. Oh my God. Anyway, it is a a it was a fucking pretty cool experience al did you enjoy uh yeah let's what's what's your favorite things about russia

we should talk about like architecture was really dope yo the the way that men are just like put on this pedestal like everything is talk about that that That was interesting. So it's like we notice in the culture that everything there is just to please men. Like women are secondary and it's understood. Like there was a girl I was talking to and she was like, oh, yeah, I consider being a stripper. And I was like, oh, that's not like look down upon. Like it's not going to be hard to find a mate or whatever. I was like, no, no, no. That my husband will then think I'm still very attractive if I'm a stripper

and guys want me. I must be so hot if I'm a stripper. Yeah. It's just wild. They didn't understand me too. They have zero concept of what's the problem with me too. I'm going to buy my girl and me a ticket to Moscow right now. Just learn something.

Like in their culture, it's like, oh, yeah, that just comes along with it. Like, you know, you can put it in a movie. Like, okay, you got to do something. Oh, son, it seemed like a fair tradeoff. Yeah, like a completely fair tradeoff. Yeah, that's how the other woman actually felt. Yeah, 100%. There's a reason why Margot Robbie doesn't complain about Me Too.

Because she still gets to trade. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's a reason why all the Me Too chicks in Hollywood are 50. Yeah, it always happens after the fact. Yeah, it's like, oh, I can't trade anymore? Well, now this is offensive.

This is disrespectful. But another interesting thing about Russia, right? Most unique architecture I've ever seen. This was fascinating. Okay. The streets, the major streets, are six lanes wide minimum. Six lanes minimum, right? Yeah, yeah.

Six lanes wide minimum. Okay? Super fucking wide, like highways in the city. Okay? When you look at one of those streets straight fucking lines you could see from one side of the city to the next in this massive city or at least to the horizon bare minimum right the buildings are massive the streets are massive and i asked him about this and i was like god why does everything feel so big and he goes oh this is

a soviet design i go what do you mean? And he goes, oh, this is a Soviet design. I go, well, what do you mean by that? He goes, you're supposed to feel insignificant. You're supposed to feel like a cog in a machine. You're supposed to feel like an insect. You're supposed to feel like there's this thing that is way bigger than you. It is way more abundant than you. And you play a small role in it.

And I'm telling you, you fucking feel it, bro. It is a unique cause think about how urban design is right it's like there was a trade route that was very important in this city and then people built shit around that trade route as close as they possibly could it is efficient it is there

and then it sprouted sprouted sprouted and then you have some suburbs and then that's how it is this is strategically rebuilt so that it could have a different look and everybody went there felt like that for a fucking reason and i'm telling you dude two things became very evident to me when i was there when we were looking at the architecture uh one there is nothing beautiful or memorable about efficiency. Capitalism will not provide any beautiful art ever.

Son, you need slaves for good architecture. You need slaves? No, no, no, no, no. First of all, slaves are all colors. In Russia, they had slaves too. As old as we're not. No, no, no. Black people think slavery is just for them.

It's like, dude, stop people think slavery is just for them. It's like... Hey, I'm American. Stop appropriating slavery. Slavery. I'm American. Slavery's been a pretty, you know, pretty... You weren't even here for slavery. You got here like 40 years ago. I'm just saying.

Slavery has been like fucking McDonald's for black people when I was younger. Still, you timed that shit perfectly. Sure did. You left Africa. I'm first generation too. You got to America after slavery and left Africa before Ebola. If there's any possible way to time that shit better, I don't know if it is. But it was interesting because the idea, it's not only slavery, it is the blank check, right?

When you're in the Soviet Union. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The blank check is what creates check right when you're in the soviet union oh yeah yeah yeah the blank check is what creates hey you you went to the sistine chapel how was that amazing life-changing life-changing unbelievable experience when you came back but you have a bit about this is great too but but also just you talking about it you were like it changed my life dude i was like oh this is why people travel and i never gave a fuck about traveling before that but when you saw, you also said Taj Mahal. Taj Mahal, same thing.

You feel insignificant. You feel insignificant. It's a wonder of the world. It feels like you are looking at something so grand. It's almost like looking at God. Like God had to have made this. You can't believe humans. Yeah.

This is, I mean, I'm looking at something so much greater than me. Greater than me, right? And could you create something like that if it had no positive financial return in America? No, you couldn't. If you look at our most beautiful buildings, even in America, obviously cathedrals. I mean, you see the cathedrals all throughout Europe. They're just gorgeous. Or like, you know, these even just churches, Orthodox churches.

We don't really have beautiful architecture. Statue of Liberty, right? Didn't bring you anything, right? The French made it, but it was just a gift. There was no monetary gain. A skyscraper is marvelous in that it's so big, but to your point, it's just, we can get more offices in here.

Yes. It is efficient. Yeah, it's made for efficiency. Right? And even you look at the Sears Tower, you're like, meh. This shit is ugly. It's ugly.

It's fucking ugly. Now, you go to that fucking Sistine Chapel, you it's ugly it's fucking ugly no you go to that fucking sistine chapel you go to these ancient cathedrals you go to that kind of stuff excuse me you even go to like uh the the fucking that bridge in london london i guess it's called it's called london bridge is it london bridge no no it's called uh victoria bridge or something like some shit it's the london bridge is the song yeah london tower my bad tower bridge tower bridge whatever like that like these things these things that like were made to be exquisite

because there was an abundance of money or there wasn't a cost at all and there's these seven buildings called the Seven Sisters that apparently like

Stalin made people build he came back from Europe he was like yo they're building shit in Europe I want seven buildings like this and there's just these massive structures that all look exactly the same

you can never have that built unless you were just the dictator and you said, build me these seven fucking buildings. And then- I can either feed people or build this. Or build the seven, and they build it.

Let's build this because we want to show off to everybody else. I don't give a fuck about the people. We'll kill 12 million, nobody will know. 12 million is light. Yeah. Real shit.

That's a light Tuesday for them. Dude, there's so many people. Isn't that how many Stalin killed 12 million no 25 oh wow I mean during

in Russia during World War II 25 million people Jesus Christ and I gotta break out yeah yeah God forbid

this is a priority it is I'm sorry I'm sorry it's okay don't worry about it hope you liked your latte it was actually delicious.

It was melty because you got here 30 minutes late. I'm still sorry. No, no. Roll if you need to roll. In a couple minutes. Okay. So there's this feeling, right? And I couldn't understand it even though you had explained it to me.

But the second I saw it, I was like, oh, that's what he was saying about the Sistine Chapel. And you even look at museums in America, like these beautiful, fuck it, the Gug, oh, that's what he was saying about the Sistine Chapel. And you even look at museums in America, like these beautiful fucking, the Guggenheim and that kind of shit. That's not taxpayer money. That's philanthropy. That's a blank fucking check. Make some stupid looking shit that will be remembered

in history. People died making that shit and they were just like, get more people. In Russia, not the Guggenheim. That's why the Guggenheim barely slaps. Because not enough people died. Nobody died for it. So, and that Brooklyn Bridge. Fucking amazing. That Brooklyn Bridge.

Dude, Yanis, shout out to Yanis. He put his whole special out on YouTube. Go check out Yanis' YouTube show. But one of my favorite jokes that he puts out is, he talks about why people can't sleep now and it's like uh you know people have all this anxiety of all this thing he goes uh he goes i'll tell you why you can't sleep because you didn't do anything all day you did nothing all day that's why you can't

sleep he goes ask your grandfather if he had problems sleeping he'd be like problem sleeping no i just went home and i passed right out because I was busy building the Brooklyn Bridge all day. Yeah, we lost 12 Irishmen. They just drowned. I'm going to get some Z's in before we build it tomorrow again. So, it's you got it all? Alright, Cass, be good, my man.

Love you. Peace. So, it's it was a very cool it was a very cool, unique experience. Yeah, it was just a very cool, unique experience, bro. That's dope, man. Yeah. That's so dope.

Alex, you're smirking at it. Yeah. I'm wondering if Andrew's going to talk about other things towards the end of the trip. Al missed out on a pretty crazy experience. Yeah, talk about it. Al missed out on a pretty crazy experience. Yeah, talk about it. Al missed out on a pretty crazy experience. I saw some wild shit.

So we're at the final show. Where are you? I was tired. He was tired. He was asleep. Yo, shut up. I didn't say nothing. You said it. So we tired. He was asleep. Shut up. I didn't say nothing. You said it. So at the final show, we go to the roast battle, which is also like a final party.

We're just hanging out. And then one of the comics there, it's like one of the bigger comics in Russia. And he was like, hey, I want to take you somewhere. This is how he phrases it. He goes, hey, I want to take you somewhere, but I just want to let you know, this is not the type of person I am. I go, say no more, I want to go there.

He goes, but just trust me, this is not. I want to go there. He goes, but just trust me. This is not who I am as a person. This is just a really unique experience that you can only have here. So I want you to have it. But this is not who I am. I go, okay. I go, where are we going? Is it safe?

He goes, yeah, yeah, it's safe. Don't worry. Everything's fine. You're with me. Everything's fine. I go, okay. He goes, yeah, yeah, it's safe. Don't worry.

Everything is fine. You're with me. Everything is fine. I go, okay. So we go getting this unmarked vehicle. I'm already scared. Concerns. I take Mark.

It's me, Mark, him. And I take a couple other guys, journalists that was hanging out with me that weekend and a few other comics. And we go. We drive into this building. We go into the garage of the building. Terrified. We're inside the garage, we're downstairs. It's a moment where you're like,

is this, is it a wrap? Like what's, am I going to get compromised? Like, is this where they bring me into the room? And they say, hey,

you work for us now. Like, you know, what's happening? We drive, there's a wall in the garage. All of a sudden, the wall in the garage opens up. Holy fuck.

We drive in, and there are 40 naked women. No, no, no, no, no. Stop clapping. Don't waste your claps. There are 40 naked women jumping and screaming that we are there. Like, whoo! Jumping up in the air. Titties are flying.

They're butt naked. Jumping up. They're screaming. Whoo! Like, it was as if we had returned home with an NBA championship. That's what it felt like. I mean, yeah, you brought them new oxygens. They've been trapped in that fucking wall for two days.

Facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts. So basically we're in there and we go and we're like, they're just going crazy, jumping up in the air, titties fucking everywhere. I don't even know really what to do. I get out of the car and I just try to play it cool and i just walk in the total wrong direction i just walk past them all and then i have to walk back past them all right we go into a vip room okay okay we're in this vip room that has a window that you can only see out of they They can't see in, but you can see out.

So they're dancing on the floor. They're all in wedding gowns and these like white dresses. I mean, it's fucking hilarious, right? That you would put these stripper hoes in fucking wedding gowns. That's odd. So they're like dancing and they're doing ballet and some of them are like real fucking dancers and shit. And these are ridiculously beautiful Russian women.

Stunning. Okay. Stunning. Okay. Stunning. We're in this room. I asked to go to the bathroom. They go, oh, we have our own bathroom here. I open the door. There's a jacuzzi to my right.

Then to my left, there is a king-size bed. Wow. Then there is a bathroom. In the bathroom, multiple toothbrushes. You know, in case you want to eat some pussy. Yeah.

And brush your teeth before you eat some more pussy. New toothbrushes, I assume. Of course. Okay. Brand new toothbrushes.. New toothbrushes, I assume. Of course. Brand new toothbrushes. Everything is brand new. I go take my piss. I walk back. I'm like, what the hell is going on?

We got the fruit cocktail here. We have everything that you could possibly want. That's what I'm interested in, the pineapple. Oh, yeah. The pineapple. You want the pineapple. Of course. You got to have the pineapple.

So we're hanging in there. They bring us some drinks. They bring us balloons filled with laughing gas. That's a big thing. Oh, yeah. They do that in Amsterdam a lot, too. Yeah, it's a big thing now. And I don't really like that shit.

I hate that. Yeah, I'm not going to. But it's funny. It makes your voice low. It's kind of goofy. I don't really like it. We're just sitting down there. And then one of the comics goes, so they want to do a little show for you guys.

Is it cool if we do a little show? And I'm like, yeah, whatever. We don't want to disrespect you guys, whatever you guys do. cool if we do a little show and like yeah we can you know whatever and you know we don't want to disrespect you guys whatever you guys do so some girls come in music changes they start making out eating each other's pussies a candle gets taken she's putting hot wax all over her tits putting the candle in her butt a little bit i'm like it's a pretty cool show i mean mean, I've seen things like this, but it's pretty cool. They do this thing that was really nice at the end of the show. They make out at the end of the show.

Not like these American strippers. Like when the song is done, it's done. Demeanor changes everything. The song finish, they kind of just laid there for a minute. They just like kissed a little bit. Stayed in character. Stayed in fucking character. You stay in character until you walk all the way off the stage.

Commitment to the role. Commit. Commit. They're role. Commit. Commit. They're committed. 100%. Okay? They go. We're eating some more things.

And they're like, hey, there's another show if you guys would like. Do you want to see it? We're like, yeah, that'd be really cool. I mean, the first one was kind of fun. This is nice. Yeah, we'll have an encore. Why not? Okay.

All of a sudden, the waitress walks in the room stops the music presses play again and then you just hear do do hot do hot smash do hot smash whatever that fucking german song is you know that intense german song i like, what is going on? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,

right? I'm like, this is going to be fucking good because Germans killed 25 million Russians. For them to even use any German music whatsoever, this has got to be a really intense. Three girls come in. One girl is like the dominatrix of the other girls.

Okay? Takes both girls, throws them down in this circular bed, starts slapping their asses while they're making out with each other. They start eating each other's pussies. The other girl's slapping her asses. She brings out this double ended dildo, right?

She bites the middle of the double ended dildo. The two girls on either side, right? She starts face fucking them onto the dildo wow right all this is choreography

it's not like they're bumbling around and moving they've practiced this it's beautiful it's ballet it's a symphony it's a symphony it's a symphony of dick

it's a symphony of dick and pussy for real it felt like step it up or whatever that movie was dude it did dude it like step it up or whatever that movie was dude it did it did step it up ski dude so when i seen channing tatum dogs thank god channing wasn't there all of a sudden the two girls have the dildo and in each other's mouths and they make the dildo disappear they both deep throat the dildo on each

side until their lips touch and then they're kissing with the dildo in the middle of their mouth wow i am stunned i'm just sitting there shocked observing not really aroused, just like perplexed by the physics of it. You know, like you're just seeing these dildos disappear and then reappear. I didn't come up with that.

What? That I, that, that move. This is what, I admired so much about it. They weren't above innovating it. No.

They were like, this is what we do. We are going, they had the goat gene. They had the goat gene. They had the goat gene. They were like, this is what we do. We are going, they had the goat gene. They had the goat gene. They were going to innovate their art form and get the fucking most out of that art form. 100%.

I could not believe it, Akash. They're going out of it. The two girls put the dildos in each other's pussies and then the madam, like the boss bitch one, is like pushing their butts together to like make them hit. They're all making out. I mean, it was a whole fucking thing. There was one more show.

I didn't even remember what happened. I was so PTSD from like the first thing. Dude, it was un-fucking-real, dude. It was un-fucking-real. And I'm in that room and all I can think about is Trump definitely has a pee tape. Oh, yeah. Let me tell you. I'm psychotic in where I think I'm going to go in the business.

So the whole time I'm there, I'm going, I'm assuming I'm being filmed 100% of this time. I'm assuming some government official is like, oh, he's making moves in stand-up. He's the guy, this, that, whatever like that. Like, as silly as it sounds, it's like, well, we don't know what he's going to do. Maybe he's going to be really big one day. Let's make sure we got some shit on him. And then he plays, whatever. So the whole time I'm there, I'm assuming that.

Yeah. I'm like, I'm not doing anything that I wouldn't be 100% fine if this got out there. I'm crazy like that. I'm also 35. I've been in the game a little bit. You know what I mean? You're telling me some 24-year-old is in fucking Russia or maybe Trump, like a young guy, is in fucking Russia and they're throwing pussy at him. You could bang any of these chicks for a couple hundred bucks.

You don't think that's going down? Unless you have plans on being president or plans on being a public figure and are crazy, you got to have some wild shit. Now, I don't know if it's really a P-tape. What I'm saying is all these billionaire motherfuckers have done this shit. Yeah. All of it. Like, it doesn't shock me at all that Epstein had an island with fucking girls. Now, it sucks that those girls were underage, but it doesn't shock me at all that these

billionaires were just going to the island to bang chicks. Of course. Like, this is what they do. Yeah. So. They got goat jeans. Oh, man. So, Alex missed out on all that because he was tired.

I actually don't feel I missed out. I would have been on edge the entire time. When you explain even the lead up to getting there, the whole trip I was on edge. It wasn't until we got to the airport leaving when I finally relaxed a little bit. That was a dope trip. Because I really felt this was something that was going to happen. And then I know how he fucking talks. And so I'm like, he's going to make the wrong joke to piss a motherfucker off.

And we're not coming back. So I was scared the whole time there. You would have calmed down. They had a calming effect. Maybe with. Let me just tell you. Really? I thought it was pretty exciting.

Much more of an excitement effect. Yeah, it was exciting and calming. But it was just, it was a unique experience yeah that like that guy's in good sleep though I bet you did I just

I just don't even think listen you can have sex shows there are sex shows that's what we watched you're not there for the sex show

you're there because it's anyone you want and you're looking at dime like that wasn't a sex show. You're there because it's anyone you want. And you're looking at dime. That wasn't a sex show. That was a sex performance. It was a performance. It was a masterpiece. It was the Sistine Chapel of Sex Shows.

Michelangelo himself. Michelangelo. Could not have recreated it. What you do there is you go ham oh yeah we didn't go ham but I can see

how motherfuckers that live that life they live a very different existence than the rest of us yeah man ain't no good coming from a place like that ooooh ooooh I mean you're talking about you're just looking at dimes good coming from a place like that. Ooh. Okay. Ooh. I mean, you're talking about, you're just looking at dimes.

And then, it's like, life shouldn't be like that. You shouldn't be able to just look at dimes and then point and then fuck them. What happens to that? Like, shit gets weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, shit gets weird for human beings when you just go, you, done. Yeah, 100%. That's what fucks up actors. They never hear the word no.

Yes. It doesn't exist. And dictators. Oh, done. Yeah, 100%. That's what fucks up actors. They never hear the word no. Yes. It doesn't exist. And dictators. Oh, yeah. Like, actors and dictators are not that much different. Yeah. You know, dictators are a little smarter, probably. Yeah, actors are fucking idiots.

But that's what fucks up a human being. Yeah, 100%. You know? Crazy time. Fun trip. Fun fucking trip fun fucking trip fun trip what is the craziest

thing you saw Alex craziest thing I saw I don't know oh and this is probably not that crazy but two young kids two like young

beggars no this is set up the story set up the story better though you probably can set it up better yeah

alright Mark right let me put you Set up the story. Set up the story better, though. You probably can set it up better. All right. Mark, right? Let me put you in a little situation with Mark, okay? So Mark, we're in fucking Chicago, right? A couple weeks ago, right? And this guy comes up to us. He's got one hand in his fucking pocket, right?

He's got crumbs all over his fucking lips, and he's asking, like, directions or some shit. And Mark is like, so helpful. Let me take out my phone. Let me help you out. I'm like, how do you fucking not see what's about to go down?

I didn't know if the guy had a weapon. I don't know what was going down. He didn't even clean his lips. Like some shit is off with this guy. Do you know? Me and Drew saw it off rip. Yeah. You've been in New York long enough.

Yeah. Sorry, I'm out. What the fuck is wrong with you, Mark? Right. So we're in Russia, right? Coming back from a night at this restaurant, a great meal,

great food. And these, these two kind of kids walk by us. Then they kind of hover around and then start walking back in our direction. And Mark just goes, Hey, those guys are kind of like hovering around and now they're like walking this way. You guys should check this out.

These kids walk up and they go, spasiba, iskisbalskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskoskosk for and mark is like shitting his fucking pants right now i look at him i could see how fucking nervous this guy is he's like moved back a little bit you know i mean he's like in his birkenstocks but he's like ready to just let those go and fucking run home if we need to right and uh all of a sudden i asked the translator the translator goes uh oh um did they want to read poetry for money. Dude, Mark was afraid of some poets. I couldn't fucking believe it. But it was a fascinating experience, man. And one of the cool things about going abroad is it really puts in perspective what freedom is and like,

Oh, a hundred percent, man. You always spoke about like, yeah, about what, uh, wealth.

Yeah. Like about going to India and how it really, you see what poor is. Yeah. And like, you've come from a family where you felt both wealthy. Yeah. And poor. Yeah. And then you found real poor a family where you felt both wealthy and poor.

Yeah. And then you found – Real poor. Real poor. Yeah. Not American poor. Yeah. And even America, I understand it got much poorer than me, but you still haven't seen this.

This is poor poverty, poverty, poverty. And when we went to Russia, we did not see poverty, right? We were in Moscow. But we did see a poverty of freedom, if you will. Yeah, oh, 100%. And this guy Al spoke about it really beautifully on this podcast. He was like, you have to understand, like, Americans are taught that, like, freedom is synonymous with America. And that, like, you deserve freedom.

You earned your freedom. And anybody tries to infringe on your freedom, that's un-American. It is a right, not a privilege. We are taught that this is a right, which is completely invented. There's no such thing as freedom, right? We just invented it. And then he's like, you fight wars for other people's freedom. Freedom is this core value.

Yeah. And he goes, in Russia, they're just taught to love Russia. You fight for Russia. Right. You support Russia. Right. It is Mother Russia. Mother Russia is all of us. We support Russia. There's Russia. Right. You support Russia. Right. It is Mother Russia. Mother Russia is all of us.

We support Russia. There's no... Yeah. There's no like... Individualism. Freedom is an individual concept. Yes. It is my freedom.

My freedom. And we have this concept and we fight with it and we really have believed the hype. We believe that we deserve it. Yeah. And if anybody tries to take it away from us, we're like, how yeah yeah i may shoot you yeah that is allowed right if you inhibit my freedom yeah i may shoot you hey i am free to have nobody in my house you have broken into my house you can die yeah yeah part of my sweden shit was just not experiencing that before like yeah the guy just kicking me out and obviously

because I'm black. You cannot do that to me. What the fuck is going on? How dare you infringe on my freedom to be in a bar like anybody else. I must punch you now. It is amazing and it's so beautiful and I've never

appreciated the beauty of that myth that we have believed to be true. I never I never appreciated the beauty of that myth that we have believed to be true I never thought it was a myth but yeah meaning like

the whole structure of our country protects it because once you leave it we created this concept we live it we live it and believe it

we bought in we all bought in and we don't question it even for a second and we are fucking so lucky man dude because the paranoia that you have like knowing that hey i make this joke let's say i make that joke about about putin and let's say somebody finds out about and gets upset and they want to like detain me or something like that they could fucking do that it's a rat they could

do it let's say we were at that uh you know strip club and then somebody like, hey, he's a pretty influential guy on YouTube or something like that. We want to fucking compromise that guy or something like that. They could have fucking done it. And here, if they try to do that in America, we're like, get your fucking hands off of me. We say that to the cops. We say to the cops, get your fucking hands off of me. Fair. Not all of us.

But some of us say it. Actually, that's not true. Nobody talks more shit to the cops than black people. Fam, have you ever seen... They were throwing water on the cops. Yeah, from a distance. White people didn't throw no fucking shit at the cops. Yeah, but you guys will get pulled over and you're like,

why the fuck are you pulling me over? Because why are you? All I'm saying is we all feel on some level we could talk shit. I remember when we did Singapore and Malaysia, they were telling me about stuff you can't say on stage. Or like some comic was doing a show in Thailand, and he put up like a funny picture of the Buddha or something like that, and then he got 30 years of hard labor in prison.

Like hard labor. This motherfucker, first thing they say is like, oh, the only thing you shouldn't joke about is the Chech. Chech-ian people. Chech-ian people. And first thing he's like, ooh, I can see it in his head. Immediately. That's what we do.

He's like, wait, I need some information on this. He's just clicking it up. I'm like, please, I want to go home. Every single comment on my Instagram, don't get locked up. Don't get locked up. I was scared. But it was part of like, I think part of me was like i gotta show you that you can joke around about these things that's why i fuck with you son my brother you ain't scared

you gotta do it and like if i'm going there as this ambassador for comedy i can't i gotta be consistent yo you're right but i was my point was just there i was like oh fuck what we have freedom of speech. We have a lot of freedom. And the fact that we think we're oppressed, like, no, we're not, man. We ain't seen oppression. You say some negative shit about. Chrissy Teigen called Trump a pussy on Twitter yesterday.

Son, it is crazy. Like, they would never think of saying that. You would get executed in Thailand. And we don't even think of Thailand as an oppressive country. Where Chrissyissy tegan's from yo you're fucking right like yo chrissy will not talk that way about whatever what is she thai is she thai she i think she's thai let's say she's thai she would never talk that way about her people's president and guaranteed her people's president is way worse than trump yo 100 first of all he's an emperor he's an emperor i mean like that's enough said.

But it is a fascinating thing and a beautiful thing, this freedom thing. And we should fucking... Granted, you'll never be able to feel it until you've had these types of experiences that we've been so fucking fortunate enough to have. It's so fucking awesome

that we get to have this shit. Thank you, dog, man. Dude, thank you. This is fucking amazing. Dude, thank you. Being able to see the world, this is fucking amazing. I don't take it for granted for a second we're so lucky yeah we're so fucking lucky how i mean how often do i say this yeah just about every time we fly you have this

one moment of like you just like reflecting on shit it's like wow we're fucking lucky how lucky are we what a life i can't tell you how often. I mean, it is awesome. I can't wait for Australia. Australia, I'm so excited. People are saying how dope it's going to be. I'm so excited. There's whites. No, but I would go back to Russia, though.

Not these ambiguous whites like Russia, either. Dude, exactly. We were like, pure. Get off of the white bitch. But yeah, no, I would go back, too. Yeah, I'd go back to Russia. It was pretty cool. I wanted to see more. Really? For more time. but like but yeah no I would go back too yeah I'd go back to Russia it was it was pretty cool

I wanted to see more really for more time yeah like to really dude I love I'm like a big tourist when I go to any of these places

that has I want to see fucking everything dude one of the coolest things Akash and I hope that we get to do some dates like this we got that

but like doing dropping in yeah is so cool cause it forces us it's easy to like just get comfortable stay at the hotel sleep in but it forces us to get out there and look at your work bro i read the shit and the fucking inscriptions like yeah i mean i'll go see the museum i love that gay shit

yeah we just don't do any research we just like get there's like oh shit what are we gonna do so we just hop into cities like oh we, we got to find shit to go. We didn't go to museums and my theory on museums is this. I find it it's not going to be that different a painting in person from on

the internet. Unless it's something of size. I saw the Van Gogh Museum in the netherlands that was dope i didn't think i'd give a fuck about van gogh i don't i didn't give a fuck about art the majority of my life yeah yeah that was dope and then they had something called like the reichs museum which is like the netherlands and you might have known this i didn't know any history of the netherlands i didn't know the netherlands and belgium were the same country and then there was like a civil war and they split on some religious. I mean, we are, New York is founded by the Dutch, the Dutch East India Trading Company.

They were the goats of their time. Goat slave owners. I don't know if they, I don't know their slavery thing. So the comic, what was his name, Anton, he had a funny joke about how their number one export used to be slaves and now it's flowers. And just like a funny like. Really? Oh, they probably provided the ships for the triangle slave trade or something like that but like they were the number one

export of slaves was africa number one yeah i guess like transport whatever yeah but they were apparently the richest company country yeah in the world that company in particular was like oh there will never be anything that rich again, ever. And such a small... So unique that a place that small would not try to expand. And now, quite globally insignificant. Not that they didn't have this

effect culturally, but they're not making the fucking... I want to say they're not making the laws, and I just realized you know who makes the laws in the European Union? That's fucking Netherlands, dude. Really? It's like a group of people that represent these people, but it happens in the Netherlands, so maybe. That was also enlightening, and this is just anybody, if you can travel, travel. When I was in the Netherlands, I remember I was getting like 2G internet.

My internet was trash everywhere. I was trying to upload a clip. I'm getting fucking stressed out. Yeah, yeah. And then I just walk outside. Motherfuckers are riding their bikes everywhere. They don't care, man. They're just happy.

There's flowers on every fucking corner. They're eating great food. It's like, oh, this is also a different way to live that's beautiful. Yes. And you just see every perspective. Everywhere you go, you'll pick up something. Yes. I'm curious to talk to people about that, like when that kicked in for them, because maybe America hasn't reached the, hey, life is important to phase.

Like maybe they reached that. Maybe they maybe they were in their hard work phase when they were shipping all the slaves and like running shit in terms of like global shippening and getting people to these different parts and like colonizing. Maybe that was their phase. And then maybe out of that, they realized, wait, did we just spend our whole life working? Yeah, well, you know what I attribute it to? Socialism.

If you're going to get taxed that heavily, why would you work that hard? Of course, but I think socialism spawns from the extreme of capitalism. Like, what do you see what's happening now, right? In America. Bernie. Right, but why is Bernie popular?

Because the gap is too big? Yeah, so it's like, in my opinion, like the powers that be, the rich people, you know they fucked up when socialism happens. Right. Because the rich people, what they're just trying to do is squeeze the poor

as much as they can before they revolt. Right, right, right, right. Right? And it's just like, and they're just trying to do is squeeze the poor as much as they can before they revolt. Right, right, right, right. Right? And it's just like, and they literally are having conversations where they're like, all right, they're getting a little upset. Let's give them a little something or let's inject some money here. But in Europe, it was like they squeezed them too far. And maybe war played part of that and these types of things. But eventually they were like, nah, fuck that, yo.

Let's enjoy life a little. We don't all got to be millionaires. And I think in America, we let's enjoy life a little. We don't all got to be millionaires. Yeah. And I think in America we're on the tip where we're like, we all got to be millionaires. Yeah. But there might be a future for us where it's like, yo, let's enjoy the family a little bit more. Interested to see it. Hey, man, we got some cool national monuments or we got some cool national, what is that, parks and shit?

Yeah. Let's go check out these parks. We might become Europe. Yeah out these parks we might become europe yeah and then china might become the new america we're gonna be capitalism we're gonna grind so hard and then we might look at china during that period and go you idiots yeah you really think you're supposed to work hard your whole time we went through that you don't learn nothing yeah and that wouldn't be that bad. Yeah. Be interesting. Not in my dead body.

I mean, I'll kill them all before they take over America. But maybe in future America. I ain't letting the Chinese be number one, son. We number one, baby. That's great. You want to go Dutch East India Trading Company, me? Yeah, we raised with it. It's in our blood. It's in our blood.

But when we dead. Yeah. Or maybe when we're like 80 and shit. Where it don't matter. Maybe. Who fucking knows Anyway Wild time Thank you very much

Punchline Fest And Australia We excited we coming And thank you guys so much For listening You got a long one today We gave them a long one Huh Al?

Yeah 230 They deserved it Wow They deserved it I wonder if we could We should save that Strip shit for the

Patreon Make a call after Alright Guys Thank y'all Peace God bless