Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - OnlyFans Girl Takes on 1000 Dudes & How to Fix British Grooming Gangs w/ Adam Rowe

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

YERRR Adam Rowe is BACK to break down what the hell is going on in the UK, talk to us about his love for gambling on US sports, explain to us about his recent (made up) health scares, and much much more on today's episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE 00:00 Solution for the UK + Grooming sounds too cool 4:03 Bonnie & Lily are really doing it + CO too 6:58 You guys know nothing about UK 8:09 Mark bombing HARD 15:50 Researching for local knowledge 19:09 Markle is kinda gangster + "Respect" for Queen 22:16 Adam LOVES musicals + UK US history lessons 33:38 Riots in Stockport 37:37 Role of a comic + Burr makes fun of what he wants 48:14 Why ever care about Ben Shapiro's opinion on comedy? 49:48 Adam's GF seeing old set + Power of storytelling 59:36 Adam is a hypochondriac 1:12:00 Wildest hypochondria story 1:17:24 Adam relationship with booze 1:19:22 Alexx pressing Derek Jeter + Super Bowl Predictions 1:31:33 Love watching NFL + putting on a bet 1:35:19 Padel is amazing live + Schulz trying to "coach" 1:43:37 Wives hate fun, Golfing + Sports evolving 1:54:51 Up and coming comedians from UK 1:57:08 Who is Robbie Williams? 2:02:44 Gigging in America Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody welcome to Flagrant and today we have one of my favorites man, we got Adam Rowe back in the zone. We got it. Bam bam bam. And listen we heard you're in town we want you to come on the pod naturally but um there are some things that we need to get to the bottom two that are happening in Great Britain right now. Okay. Okay. It seems like there's two problems that could solve one another. There's like a couple British girls that are trying to like the most people in a day.

And then there's like gang. I just, you know, if you'd have paused him before he brought either of those up, I knew. We go, Barney Bloom, Lily Phillips, and Grumman Gang. So what I'm saying is it it's like there's a problem and then there's a solution, but it just seems like we can't connect them and this is where you need that American ingenuity, I'm here to let Bonnie Blue

and what's the other one's name? Lily Phillips. Lily Phillips know that there's a what? Sorry, I thought you were talking about the Gamerz. I was like, we don't know their names. That's scary. Anyway, but the Grooming Gangs, right? I feel like we could, you know, they don't have to do it anymore. They could just get online.

I think you've forgotten what we spoke about last time. First they need to stop making it sound so cool. What is that? Grooming gangs is just, it has a little ring to it, like make it sound worse than that. It makes them sound like fucking hairdressers. Make it sound way worse. Yeah. What is the grooming part? I don't understand.

So like, I mean, it's gonna make me sound like I'm an expert on it, but like, grooming someone, like, it's when like a teacher is like wanting to fuck one of their students. They like groom them like, hey, it wouldn't be too bad if we fuck. I've heard of that. And like, that's what these gangs are accused of doing. So they would groom girls and then wait until they're legal and then have sex with them? I've got to be honest with you, I think so. What you're talking about is... I don't know what I'm talking about. I know. So where you're getting these headlines from is like the Daily Mail and shit. So like this is the day... You have gangbangs and gangbangs in the same place and then for whatever reason we can't put those together.

It's just, it's it's rhetoric pushed by like right-wing media. It were like we we want to sort of focus on immigration so... Ah... Like there's a really really good interview from years ago where there's a political commentator from the UK called Akala and he's... Oh yeah I know that guy, he raps too. Yeah yeah and he's talking on like there guy, he raps too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's talking on like, there's like a panel, like it's like a panel in front of an audience talking about like racism and all that sort of stuff. And he goes, the interesting thing is when like a Pakistani guy, or a grooming gang who are from Pakistan originally, their racial identity and the fact that they're an immigrant is put forward as like the

primary reason for them committing the atrocity. Whereas like when Jimmy Savile, who's like a really famous P***, who's a white guy from Stoke, when he does it, it's not like it's because he's from Stoke. Whereas like the Grimming Gang is like, well they're from Pakistan, of course they're doing it. But we assume it's because he's British, that's why he does it. Isn't that what the rest of the world goes through? Like yeah, this is what they do. Also, the Pakistan guys. They're giving us P***.

He's like, we're gonna go to that. He's got the top two of all time. You've got, who do we get early on? the rest of the world goes they're like yeah this is what they do the pakistan guys you've got the top two of all time you've got early and michael jackson and abstain you guys fell off dude great run yeah and then that's what america is america does everything we do and you just take it to one more level so you always see what we're doing and then it's like, ah. So you heard what Adam Rose said, step it up, ladies.

Two thousand guys in a day. And that's the thing with this, you're saying like, why can't we just marry these two, you're forgetting that in the UK, our racism is directed towards Pakistani guys and people from South Asia, rather than anyone else. Then who?

Mexicans and black people. That's your one, isn't it? Is it? I don't know. I think we... I've seen the clips. I think... I've seen the clips. Hey, we were punching Asians for a little bit.

Have you tried that? Mercify? I've never done that. You stopped that for a couple of weeks, you know? Yeah, we did that because they were fucking... They would fight back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was scary.

It was scary. OK, so this is... Again, a lot of the news that we get from Great Britain is like what Elon tweets. Yeah, exactly. That's a problem. Yeah, so we read the headline and we're like, grooming gangs? What the fuck is going on over here?

I will say I looked into the thousand people they fucked a little bit more and they're doing it. They're actually having sex with these guys. Oh, they're 100% doing it. Yeah. What is the reaction in proper, polite British circles about this? I mean, I think you have a bastardised idea of what the politeness of Britain is like. Like, if you go on like... I'm not talking about Liverpool. But like the Facebook posts about it, like,

She's a whore. She's a fucking whore. Like, let's call a spade a spade. she's a whore, she's a fucking whore, like let's call a spade a spade, she's a whore, but when's the next one? Exactly, because there's still a thousand guys showing up to these things though. Did you see the To Make A Mom? Did you see the To Make A Mom, Yanker and Son Off The Line? That was wild. He's like I'm next, mom!

There was a guy who, so he was interviewed on like Good Morning Britain which is like a fucking morning show in the UK. One of the guys that did it. One of the guys who says he went queued up, he went, joined the line, realised he was like I'm going to be here for a few hours, went and ate dinner, so he was like I've got time for a burger, Went and got his burger, came back to the line, said he got near the front and then was like I can't do it. I'm full stomach it's hard.

And they interviewed him at like nine o'clock in the morning being like so tell us what you'd experienced he was like I could just smell like comb and it just. Oh my god. I couldn't go through it. There's some great porn stories coming out of Britain. The girl that had sex with the inmate. Oh yeah. Was that real?

I can show you the video. Have you not seen it? I saw the video but I mean like was it... He's quick with it. He's online bro. I was like you were set to stop watching 60 seconds and I mean like was it... He's quick with it. He's online bro. I was like you were set to stop watching 60 seconds and I was like oh... No no I saw the video and she was phenomenal. But she was so good that I thought it was kind of set up

she was like a pro. But it turns out she was actually a... what are they called? Corrections officer. Yeah yeah. No she's a prison officer. She's like a scribe. We call that a CO, Corrections Officer. Oh okay yeah. Like, she's a prison officer. She's like a scribe. We call that a CO, corrections officer. Oh, okay, yeah. So like... Like Rick Ross.

What? The rapper used to be... Did he, yeah? I don't think he did the porn. But I think he did. I think he just went... It's a good form. The last thing you want is a girl doing this and going, ooh.

So that story was crazy. Crazy especially because she, like, is it weird what we get over here from you guys? Like you get like such a tiny. I know, I know, I know. I talk about this in like stand up context. It is so much harder for me to come out here than for you to come to the UK. Because we get all of your news, all of your media, every movie that's even remotely good

from the States we get, every TV show. Yeah, you're hyper aware of cultural events here. I remember a couple of years ago I did Gotham and you were on the bill. And I come off and there was one joke that just got fuck all. It was a joke I relied on, you know what I mean? And you were like, they just didn't get it. And it was a bit about like, in the UK homeless people drink cider. So the real theme was like, I gave this guy some money and like a girl who had a bit of

a stick up her ass was like, you're supposed to buy them food. And the whole bit is like, oh, I think he wants cider. And the audience just looked at me like I was speaking fucking parcel tongue. They were like, what the fuck? And then you were like, that's like a middle class, like gay summer drink. You're like, the homeless people are not drinking. And you were, try it tomorrow with like whiskey or liquor. And I tried it and it was like, all it took was that.

But those, like we think, at least I think, we're very culturally similar countries. But there's such small things. I've been there, I've been there, Adam. Oh, this is crazy. No, this is amazing. We did the show in Manchester, okay? I thought it was in Vancouver.

No, that's a different one. I don't even know if you knew about this, because I barely registered it until later. This is really funny. We do the show in Manchester, right? Adam joins us, okay? The lineup is great. It's Derek, it's Adam, it's me, and then it's you, okay?

And so Derek goes up, does a great job, and then... Oh, brother, what is even happening? Okay, so then Derek goes up, he does a great job. Show the floor, Mark. I'm getting interrupted by myself. I don't know what you think that happened. It's not my own story. Adam goes up and I'm like kind of listening because like I know Derek's set you know what I mean and so I'm listening to Adam's set and I don't hear

a word that he's saying. I'm hearing the whole thing I don't understand anything. Like his accent is sort of thick now in Liverpool or in Manchester it was like you couldn't understand a word. But also so before because I know where the story's going, let me just contextualise this. So that show was the day after you did our podcast, right? And you come to our podcast and you're in the studio with the whole crew is and then you go to me, you want to come to the show tomorrow? I was like, yeah, we'll come down. Me, Jack, who's the photographer, also like one of my best mates, Steve, who's like our podcast, like admin guy, and then Carl, who's the photographer, also one of my best mates, Stee, who's our podcast admin guy,

and then Carl, who's my best mate, lead producer. So the four of us were like, we'll come down the show. But that's all I knew. At the time, I'm half going through a break-up, it had been done, but I hadn't spoke to my dad for a while. Not that I hadn't spoke to him, but I hadn't seen him. So the next day, I text me dad, I was like, you want to go out for lunch?

Should we go out for lunch tomorrow? And he's like, let's go. And he's like what are you up to tonight? I was like oh I'm just going to Manchester to watch Schultes in town and like gonna go and see the show. And me dad was like we haven't had a pint for ages, we're gonna have a pint. So I went and had 10 pints of Guinness with my dad and then on the way to Manchester you text me and say how long are you doing? Like how long do you want to do tonight? Oh I thought you knew that I was inviting you to do a spot. No, no, no. Like you're very casual with stuff like this.

In your head you're like, oh I've got a friend who lives down the road, of course he's going to do a set. In my head I'm like, I'm just going to watch, you've got two openers with you already, that's probably enough for you. I'm just going to watch, I'm having night in the theatre watching a friend of mine. So I'm in the car and Carl's driving us and I'm like fucking, I'm like, I was like, oh shit, I was like, well I'm not doing the show. So I was like, I'll do it. And I turn up to Manchester and Tanya goes, can I get you anything? And I was like, I need four bottles of water.

And then I walk in the dressing room and you're all fucking meditating. Oh that's right we're asleep. So I'm like oh god. Meditating. We're jet lagging. Dude that's so funny. We turn all the lights out, we put the thing down and then we all try to take a nap and then Adam comes in, 10 kiddos teep, like,

what's up, lads? What the fuck is this? So I'm like, right, I really need to sort my head out. But then, whenever I'm talking to you guys, or if I'm on stage in the States, my accent softens quite a bit. Yeah, this is softened. This is softened.

He's doing an American accent. He's articulating. I honestly think I sound like Jay-Z right now. I thought I'd be coached. This is how you talk to the police. But in Liverpool and Manchester especially, for the crowd, I know I can just... Just lay in. I can just let go. So, what would normally take me 20 minutes to do out here? I could probably do in 10 in Manchester.

So I go on and I'm doing my set, and I don't know whether you wanna tell the rest of the story, but I have a joke in my set at the time about a girl, I'm breaking up with her, and I'm happy to see her go, so she's trying to upset me. And she said, while we were together, I've faked, like, half of my orgasms. And I'm like, that's a compliment.

Like, like half fucking, that's a whole other way to be two balls, like, it's fucking insane. But Mark's got a similar bit about, like... Proving that I'm good at sex, like, why I think I'm good at sex. And he went on straight after me because he couldn't understand the word I was saying he does that joke in the whole rooms like that last guy just did that he fucking set me up the beginning of the set I'm doing I'm like yeah this is fun this is a good show

in case any of you guys only speak English I'll do this version of the joke and I get to the middle bit and that joke just gets nothing. And I was like, huh. And then I'm thinking in my head, like, did I forget the setup? Did I fuck up the joke? And then I'm doing the rest of the set thinking like, did I? I'm not, I don't know any of these jokes. It's just 3000 people going, why has he just done that?

So wait, did you tell him afterwards or something? I did briefly. I was like, Mark, you know that bit that confused you in the middle? I'd done the same sort of premise before you went on. And he'd just come off stage and was a bit frazzled and he was like, oh yeah, yeah, no worries. And then before when we got here, when we were waiting around, he's like, oh yeah, this and I was like, you didn't really click onto this. I had no clue.

Go, go, go, go. Yeah, that's it. I had no clue. I didn't register because I came off stage and he goes, oh yeah, yeah, we have a similar bit and I go, go, go, go. Yeah, that's it. I didn't register because I came on stage and he goes, oh, yeah, we have a similar bit. And I go, that's awesome, man. Yeah. Like sometimes comics have similar bits, you know, whatever.

And I didn't realize that's what you were saying until five minutes ago. And I was like, oh... Oh, you didn't? Don't we have two shows? Yeah. I only did the late show, though. Ah, okay. I was drinking while you did the late show. And the first show was amazing,

and the second show, that one show just bombed. And I was like, getting drunk. And the first show was amazing, and the second show, that one show just bombs, and I was like, what the fuck? Get calls, man, see you offstage. Mark was in, or we were all in Vancouver. Not the last time, the time before. This is legendary, dude. And Mark had a great bit about Uber, right? I won't tell the bit, but, and, you know, he would start the joke by saying, like, we're taking the Uber over Uber, right? I won't tell the bit, but, and, you know, he would start the joke by saying, like,

we're taking the Uber over here, right? Yeah. Just to, like, make it feel really present and get everybody involved and so relatable. And Mark is telling the joke without realizing that there is no Uber in Vancouver. So. So.

So. So. Yeah. So. So. Cause I know how to do it, cause I'm. So, so. Cause that not only ruins that. So I'm like, you did not take a fucking Uber here. Oh, that would kill me, you know, because it doesn't just ruin that bit,

the whole audience then goes, this guy's full of shit. Yeah, he's not even married, okay. He's not even, he doesn't even have a huge dick, okay. That joke wasn't real. Oh, like, I would, I think I'd have got to the end of that and been like, oh, they don't have Uber here. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a handful of times, because I come out here and I'll like, come and talk to you. You did actually realize on stage, right? This is how dumb I am, I didn't even realize it. I had to get half of it through the bit that I'm bombing through, and someone goes, we don't have Uber. Oh, they told you?

They told us! Because I was like, maybe I'll just muscle through it and kind of get him back or something. We'll be over here from Seattle. That's where we're going. We're in a fucking long drive. Oh, it's so bad. Also guys, show dates.

First of all, Brea, we already sold out all four shows. I'm going to try to get everybody who wants to see the show tickets though. So we're adding one. February 20th, Thursday, we're going to add that show. Also February 27th, 28th, and March 1st, I'm going to be in Zanies in Nashville. March 14th and 15th, I'm going're gonna have that show. Also February 27th, 28th and March 1st, I'm gonna be in Zanies in Nashville. March 14th and 15th, I'm gonna be in Tulsa, Oklahoma. March 21st and 22nd, Omaha 28th and 29th, Columbus, Ohio.

And then the April shows are in Tampa. The ones that I could not make because of the flu are moved to April 11th and 12th. I think tickets are already almost sold out, so hurry up and buy those. If you bought tickets in January, you're good for now. But we're gonna add as many shows as we can. Love you guys, akashsingh.com for those dates,

and we're gonna add more soon. Thank you, peace. I'll Google stuff now, before like, even before like a club sets over there, like if I've got like something I'm gonna try out, be like, I'm checking this. I'm checking homeless people drink cider. Nope, okay.

Me. I do do that when I'm like, when I'm in another country, it's never like the concept of the joke. I'm like, do you know what this word means? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've texted me a couple of times in the UK. I remember when you texted me about London, you were like, what the fuck is, what are these people? Like, I can't get me finger on. And I was like, no one where you are is a Londoner.

That's the thing. Yeah, it was like, everywhere else is so tribal. Like where you guys are from, 30 minutes down the road, they're completely different groups of people. Then I'm in London, I'm like, what do they identify as? They've all moved there. So like, because London's, I suppose in a very similar way to New York, London has become so expensive and gentrified that everyone who used to live here now lives there, and everyone who used to live there now lives there.

So it just keeps on spreading out. Because everyone gets pushed out by like two miles every time, but things get more and more. And there's not much rent control. So like, whereas in like, you know, in New York, you'll get like a 97 year old Jewish woman on the Upper West Side who's surrounded by like millionaires and she's just owned the place for a hundred years.

That doesn't happen in London. People do just get pushed out. Oh really? So in the middle of London, there's just nothing but people who've moved there. Hmm. Pretty much. Oh, interesting. But sometimes those rules, I remember we went to Abu Dhabi and they were like,

hey, just be careful about some of the things you say. Yeah. They gave us like a little list. They were like, don't talk about Islam. Don't speak about the royal family. And he goes, ah, I'm not listening to that shit. He just didn't listen to that shit. I actually don't like it when they tell me. Makes you want to do it.

Also, I could plead ignorance if I don't really know. But if I get sat down with the guys in the outfits and everything and they tell me all the rules. The outfits. Now I'm like, fuck, they just told me this shit dressed up. I feel like there would be something bad there. But then again, if you get arrested for that. So there's a comedy club that runs,

it's called The Laughter Factory. It's in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, because they're the same country, aren't they? UAE. And they had a guy get arrested at one of their club shows. About, it must be like 10, 15 years ago. Local guy or foreign? No, from the UK.

They pretty much fly out UK guys, and occasionally they'll get like a road comic from America out there. And they're always like, just don't mention the Royal Family. And they were doing like a two night run at one hotel. And on the second night, after the guy had done stuff on the first night,

they sent people to the back to like, and as soon as he went to bring it up again, cause in his head he's like, I got away with it last night and he goes through it again they were like come with us and he was in police custody for like three days. Wow. What did he say? Yeah I want to know. I think he literally was like I was told I can't talk about these guys who the fuck do they think they are? I think he took that attitude and they

were like well this is who the fuck we think we are. Go sit over there for three days. See, that's real royalty. Would you respect that royalty? I know you don't respect the English royalty. Okay, but... I mean, I don't... I mean, the only reason I'll respect it while I'm out there...

Weapons. ...is that I don't want to go to jail. You know, I'll respect it because I have to. Yeah. But I don't respect anybody who is born naturally better than everyone else. It's fucking insane. What are you thinking about Meghan Markle? Like what do people think of her out there? It's a real like political issue. So the left are like, she's amazing. And the right are like, she's a fucking c***. But for what? Why is she amazing? What does she do?

Took that little ginge off your hands? So because the left, generally speaking, hate the royal family and the working-class people, a lot of them are just like the fucking royal family, like what the fuck? Why do we have to fucking... Because she's sort of gone in as a normal person, broke it up, caused a bit of a problem and then has sort of gone. I'm not a theory fucking reals I'll take you fucking grandson and we're going back to America. Yeah I'll take your Come with me that's crazy. So know. Yo, shout out Megan Marshall, bro. Oh man, I never saw her like that.

Are you sick? That's fire. We hate her here for some reason. I think it's just the idea like Americans really, I think it's the same feeling as like we really resent people who haven't seemingly earned their success. Yeah, yeah. You know, like the idea of

like nepotism or heirs or the royal family. Yeah, but then you should hate the royal family and you should like air. We don't respect the royal family here. Yeah. We don't give a fuck. We don't. Now, when the Queen died they cancelled comedy clubs across the UK. Oh no.

And like friends of mine are like out of work. I wasn't even working that weekend but I just put like three shows on in the films like if you've lost gigs this weekend we'll split the door between everyone. I was like fuck that. That's just not happening. They cancelled the comedy show. Cause they're like this. Have you seen the video of, you know the musical Wicked? Yeah.

Do you know how it opens? Do you know the first song in Wicked? No. So the first line is, she's dead. And it's like good news. Oh yeah. So the night that the Queen died, the guy who owns the theatre had to go on stage. There's a video of him doing this, he goes on stage before the show and goes, hey, we're really respectful about the Queen and stuff but we've still gotta do the full show, so just so you all know, if this is the first time you've seen Wicked, this isn't like a do-bit.

As many of you are no doubt aware, Her Majesty the Queen sadly passed away earlier this afternoon and we sent deepest condolences to her family. With the respect of Buckingham Palace, all shows are continuing to perform this evening, therefore tonight's show will be performed as usual and as written. Good news! Good news! she's dead. That's the opening line. The Queen is dead?

The Wicked Witch of the West. But good news, she's dead is how it fucking opens. That's great. And the fact that they had to preface it is so funny. Some guy like never been on stage before in his life, they're like, you're gonna have to go. It almost makes it worse, because I bet you have to be like, yeah, I was just seeing Wicked. We're not thinking about it. You know what I mean? And then the fact he's like,

I know this sounds like we're happy the Queen's dead. It only takes one person to complain though, doesn't it? And then it's a news story. So it's best they do it that way. Oh, that's unreal. I didn't realize you were such a theater fan. Yeah, like- You love musicals.

I've seen quite a lot, yeah. A few years, I'd never watched it until about maybe like six years ago, and then I heard Hamilton. All I knew about Hamilton was it was like a hip-hop musical. And I said, I really want to go and see that. And an ex-girlfriend got me tickets to go and see it, and I remember being at the end of the first song like,

this is incredible. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun I couldn't believe it. And then I like watching them. You want to know how incredible Hamilton is? Yeah. Once we went to like a private dance club in Hawaii. Strip club. Strip club. But there's like a little private room where the strippers come in. He's trying to be nice. And they gave you an aux cord and you get to control the music. And I go, Mark, you know what you gotta do.

He's like, I got it. I see Mark go up to the aux, plug it in, and the next thing I hear is, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, I was saying, like, five minutes, we were just singing and dancing, and the strippers were all just sitting down, like, so confused. They tipped us really well. They did. They were good girls. They were trying to, like, give us drugs. They were just like, I think if we settle them down,

they'll let us get naked. I've been banging on about it for years that I really liked it, and the lads we do our podcasts with have been like, I can't think of anything fucking worse. And I was like, you've just got to see it. Like it's fucking great. And then there was a touring version of it that came to Manchester and I was like, look, we're going.

Podcast night out, few beers and we're going to see Hamilton. And the cast was so bad. And so I was sat next to Finn, who's one of our producers and he loves it as well. And like, Carl and Dan were sat behind us and they'd been like fucking dragged to see this thing, you know what I mean? And we were about halfway through and I just looked at Finn and Finn was already

looking at me and Finn was like, this is a lot gayer than I remember him being. I was like, yeah it really is, and we got to the interval and went off and I tried to be like, so what do you think? And Carl and Dan were like, are you fucking insane? It was so bad. If that was the first time I'd ever seen it I would like it. Is it weird to have that showing in England? No. Like the historical count of the Revolutionary War. So like, there's no way you learn how we learn it. No, we don't learn it at all.

Yeah, yeah. Like we learn about World War II, and that we won, and you guys kinda helped, and that's pretty much all the street from like, you. So they lied to you in school? Yeah, yeah, what'd they like to hear? No way. Well somebody had to drop those n Somebody had to stop that war that was already over. We don't learn anything about it. So like, so we didn't help out at all

in the way you learn? In World War II? Yeah. Yeah, it's like the Americans sort of helped at the end, but this whole like, we would be speaking German if it wasn't for America, it's just like, that's not really true. Really? Yeah, it's just like we were gonna sort of, you know, like it would have been, we might have won anyway. Wow. Yeah, we won it.

Yeah. That's Britain is like, no, we beat the Nazis. Winston Churchill defeated the Nazis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He also made it a million Indians, but shh, shh, shh, don't look at that. We beat the Nazis. Did you take out a mil? Yeah, like, it might have been, I don't know the exact number, but it was a lot. It was a lot. They don't love at that. We need to eat the netting. Did you take out a mill? It might have been. I don't know the exact number, but it was a lot.

It was a lot. They don't love Churchill. They don't love him at all. No, we're there. So you just learn history through musicals. Yeah. He thinks Alexander Hamilton is black. I think to this day he's like... Joe, do you know what's really funny about that?

I know he isn't, but in my head he is. Like I have to like... You look at the $10 bill and you you're like who the fuck is this guy? Like I have to do, genuinely have to correct that in my own head. I'm like yeah Aaron Burr is not a 4'9 black guy. You know what's crazy? Hamilton in America was like not a very, in our generation was not a very popular figure. Totally. Like they were going to replace him I think on the bill.

Yeah yeah I think that was the plan. And Aaron Burr. The extent of Burr was a Got Milk commercial. Do you remember that commercial? He's eating a cookie and he doesn't have any milk and he like calls in some hotline to like win something. And he goes, and they go, who is the person that had a duel with Hamilton and then shot him, and then killed Alexander Hamilton? And the guy goes, oh, he can't get it out because he doesn't have milk. Do you guys not remember this commercial? I remember this my entire childhood going, I don't know who the fuck that guy is. And then I remember seeing Hamilton, I was like, oh, the milk guy! What a legacy. Do you know what's really interesting about the American Civil War thing is... Oh, the milk guy! What a legacy.

Do you know what's really interesting about the American Civil War thing is... Real quick, sorry. So when you're watching a play of the American Revolution in England, is there a complete disconnect to an event that happened in history? I don't think Americans are there yet to have a play... Like if there was a Vietnamese play about how they won the war I don't think it'd be like celebrated in America. I just think if like yeah genuinely even though we know it's not it sort of like feels like fiction not that we're saying it's like lies it

just feels like you know what I mean it feels like wicked. The Americans are so silly. Okay it's just not like uh it doesn't look like you're watching a loss. No and it's not like a... It doesn't look like you're watching a loss. No, and it's not like, it doesn't feel like that. Like we're so small compared to you guys. Like it doesn't make any sense that we would run this place, like to me. Like if I actually... Oh that's fascinating.

I've never really thought about it, but I'm thinking about it right now. And yet the idea of like... We are a colony of you. Yeah. I really thought about it, but I'm thinking about it right now. We were a colony of you. Yeah, like the idea that like, I don't even want the King to run Liverpool. Why would he have control of Baltimore? The King is the best character in it. Oh, it's so funny. It's so funny.

But like you guys, I guess because you're taught of it as like this victory and it's part of the American thing, it's like, oh, we got our independence. And rebellion is like part of the identity. So any story that has rebellion, we get all excited about. Like totally. And it's it's the only time it's ever been like sort of contextualized for me like that is. And it was actually it's to do with the show. So I went to Nashville in the summer. The end of my tour, Althea opens for me and is also a brilliant comic. And Jack, who was my tour manager, we went to Nashville in the summer at the end of my tour, Althea opens for me and he's also a brilliant comic

and Jack who was my tour manager, we went to Nashville for a week to just let rip, drink, music, whatever and it was Jordan's CMA Fest, like the country music association festival, so they have like stadium shows and I was like well on the Friday we'll go to that and we'll go and see that and we're in the stadium and I go to go the bar and get some drinks and as I get to the top of the stairs, some like real southern guy like dressed like he's like he's I'm wearing the bleachers you know so and he's got like you know flannel shirts on trucker cap and he's like hey man can I get a quick photo with you and I was like yes I seen you a while ago on Flager and I seen some of your stuff I like it man I like it can we get a photo

and we take a photo and I then go and carry on to go and he goes, hey Adam, Adam, don't forget the civil war, don't forget the revolutionary war. And I was like, what? And he goes, we won man. And I was like, pfft. I get to the bar to Alfie and Jack, I was like, some guys just asked me for a photo and then started yelling about some wall. I love that. I love you, bro. That's the most American. He'd seen me on here.

Yeah, that's great. And shout out to him. I'm one, like, yeah, this is like, I guess a peculiar question, but it's the observation I had when I was in, when I was Britain, is there's all these tiny little towns that have kind of evolved independently from this idea of England, right? And then the empire kind of swallows them all up. But they have their own identities.

Some of them do. Some of them do. Whereas like, the states in America are added after the 13 as America Yeah, like if you're true, you don't have an identity outside of us Yeah, maybe Texas because they almost did their own thing, but it's rare so I wonder if that changes things where like you don't really personalize like what the greater England did because There are people there a thousand years ago to doing their thing anyway

Yeah, and to be fair, you know, Like are there loyalists in Liverpool for the Crown? Yeah, but it's a very small minority. Right. And like... What do you think of them? Of like the loyalists of the Crown? Yeah. I don't speak to them.

They're not in my life. I just hear they exist, you know. Like when... And this obviously when I'm doing like podcasts and stuff in America like this, people do want to talk about the British thing. I'm probably a really bad person to talk to about it because of the way Liverpool sees the rest. And I'm not as hardline as some scousers are with this. There's a lot of people from Liverpool who when the England football team plays, they actively want them to win. Like if England are playing Spain, there's scouts who will buy a Spain jersey and go the pub in the Spain jersey and be like, come on Spain, because they hated that much.

With me, I kind of want England to win and the second they lose, I'm like, who gives a shit. Whereas Liverpool can lose a game and it'll take me a month to get over it. Got it. Like, there's such a, this is quite like, I do like, I don't really like the uber English attitude. Yeah. And I think a lot of the pride that like, people on the centre right to the right of like British politics have is rooted in racism and colonialism.

Really? It just is. It's like, we conquered the world! It's like, that shouldn't be your only reason to be proud of the country, because that's not actually a fucking good thing. So there's a lot of stuff to not like. Subbatable. You go to some places that England never got to and you're like, you could have used a

little bit. A little bit. I've just got back from India and I'm telling you're like, you could have used a little bit. A little, you could have used a little bit. I just got back from India and I'm telling you, we have left our place in a mess. Yeah, but you didn't go before. Yeah, it was crazy before, honestly. You got a train now. I mean, I love that thing.

The train ain't going by the way. The whole body, how's a real good train by the way? What's the... You know what, he's so British, see, the colonial comes out. You know, it's the best train. But when you see him on top of the train riding it, aren't you like, that was worth the jewel?

They're enjoying that thing. Imagine they got a roller coaster. Oh. You drop the roller coaster in Mumbai, dude. They would just sort it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One, six, one. We're not even hungry anymore.

Yeah. Yeah. We're not having too much fun, T! It's insane! Don't have to worry about throwing up either, it's perfect. I just don't like ends up like, it's funny, so a couple, like when... But that's good perspective to have, like I think a lot of Americans don't know that about England. I think that we assume that every country is kind of like us, incredibly proud of themselves, and that's it.

That's the identity. Yeah, we're divided in America, but for the most part Americans are like, it's America and then fuck the rest of y'all. Whereas, you know, you go to Spain and there are parts of Spain that are like, we're not Spanish. Yeah, like Barcelona and Catalonia.

The Basque country. I mean, you just had riots, right, in Liverpool? Like a couple months ago? A few months ago. That was the first time that Liverpool Liverpool sort of had a grooming party Like we can talk about this story if you want, but it's fucking bleak like oh really There's a guy called we won't joke around about it at all Gonna go it's it's so bleak. Really? And it's so fresh. Oh fuck.

Like, a guy went into a seven-year-old's dance class and stabbed three seven-year-old girls to death. Oh, I didn't know that's what it was about. Great job, Mark. The riot, and the guy's called Axel Rudicabana, and he's the son of immigrants and although his family are Christian, there's a widespread belief that his motivations are rooted in Islam. Even though that's not like being actually released as information, everyone's just gone fucking looking at the guy. Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, he's like,

he stabbed one of these girls 122 times. Holy shit. Like it is one of the worst. So what happens to somebody like that? I mean you kill him right? There's no death penalty. Well what do you do with people like that? He's been put in prison for a minimum of 52 years which means technically in 52 years he could be released.

But somebody in prison will kill him right? I got sent a voice note today on WhatsApp so like when stuff happens in the UK like they'll like you'll get like forwarded many times there's like a today on WhatsApp. So like when stuff happens in the UK, like you'll get like forwarded many times as like a thing on WhatsApp. And it's a voice note saying he's already being absolutely battered in prison. But people won't kill him. They'll just make his time in there impossible.

Oh really? And like the COs, the correction officers will be like. They'll look the other way. They won't just look the other way. They will go and get the two most dangerous guys in the prison and be like, you know in cell seven, do you know what he's in for? Yeah. Well the door's open. Yeah.

Whoa. But yeah, yeah. So the riots were about that and then people were fucking it up. So the riots were anti-immigration riots being like, look what happens when we have borders open. Is this guy's parents get in, they have him here, and then he goes and kills. But again, it's because look, what this guy's done is fucking horrific and it's very hard to have this conversation, especially because this happened in Southport, which is eight miles from where I live. Like it's

up the road, maybe 20 at maximum. It's up, like Southport is where on a sunny day in the summer, that's where me and my family would go. There's like a theme park there with roller coasters, no Indians on them. And we'd go there from there. Yet. Not after this. And it's absolutely hard, I went off. It's one of the worst stories of my lifetime that I can remember.

And because people got real angry and they had, they were given a reason. He did it because of this, so then the protests and riots were fucking huge. But there's assholes tearing up to these fucking protests and riots with like six packs of Stella and they're being like, hey, we're at the riots. And it's like, you don't give a shit. You want a reason to go and smash a town up and get drunk with your mates. You're a thug. Some people genuinely care about the fucking safety of children,

and you know, they're there for the right reasons. But a good chunk of these fucking riots where people are just seeing an opportunity to go and have a hand on a Tuesday night and smash up a place with no retribution. That's the, yeah, that's the tricky thing is that like, a certain amount of people are going to be crazy. Yeah. Right? Like, and that is going to be consistent across whatever culture. Yeah. And when you have people that are entering your country, you know, a certain percentage of them are going to be crazy. And the idea I imagine with an open border is that there's no way to discern who is or isn't now. There's no way to tell if somebody's kid is going to be crazy.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I get, I get the, the anger that somebody has in a situation where like we can at least control this if we just stop people from coming in. Yeah, yeah. And, but you're not gonna control crazy. They're gonna be fucking Jimmy Savils. Totally.

Right, there's gonna be monsters no matter what. That, like, I think the job, obviously this is a more serious conversation, but I think the job of a comedian often is to stand right in the fucking middle of the spectrum of conversation and talk and laugh at how both sides of any conversation are discussing it. Because on the right, there's always going to be hypocrisy, on the left there's always going to be hypocrisy. And I'm talking about any spectrum there. And until both sides, and we're so far from this, because everything is genuinely really

divided conversationally, until both sides find a way to be able to go, do you know what? You've got a good point there. But that, we're so far from it. All right guys, stay break for a second. I'm very excited to have this sponsor on the pod. I briefly mentioned them in the Vivek episode. Vivek was talking about the importance of compound interest

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You already see the light, you know what time it is. Dick's going up. Dick hard, Dick hard, Dick hard. Bluechew, same active ingredient since I see Alistair Viagra, but this is the chew, it's one that we rock with, okay? When you need to lay down a pie, when you need to lay down a pie, okay?

When you need to hit him with the pie, you go to bluechew.com, okay? You make sure they use that promo code flay her you get your first month free All you got to do is pay the $5 shipping. Okay, this is this is absolute no-brainer You got a big date this weekend. She already knows she's putting out she sends you videos She's saying you to ask shaking she tells you what she's gonna do with it rock up rock up my boys and have a great time Now let's get back to the show funny to see even a man America like we put out this piece the intro to an episode basically right out for the inauguration and You know for the last four years people cried, you know a lot of times they were crying about the Democrats

they're crying about you know people making fun of you know who you can joke about or whatever and We're clowning Elon Because he had that fucking autistic moment where he's you know throwing a you can joke about or whatever. And we're clowning Elon, because he had that fucking autistic moment where he's, you know, throwing a fucking Nazi slur. Did he mean to tell everybody he's a Nazi in that moment? Of course not. Right? He didn't mean to. I do think he meant to do what he did, though. I think it's also like trolling. That's, that's, okay.

And like, let's see what I can. That's debatable. Maybe that's the case. Maybe not. And then we can even have that discussion. I don't think that he, that that was what what he did But there is a version where you could just be like I did some dumbass shit right there, right? Like you can just acknowledge it. You don't have to be like you guys are stupid I can't believe you do that or find all these excuses. Well, he was technically doing a Roman salute We're like that is what the Nazis were doing though. Yeah, so when people like it's a Roman salute The Nazis back then were like we're doing a Roman salute. Yeah They're not different.

Right, right, right. I guess what I'm trying to say is... Hitler was like, we all do the Roman salutes. By you going, I'm not doing the Hitler one, I'm doing the Roman one. That's like saying, you know... My point is, there was all these right wing guys like, oh, you can't make fun of anybody and what happened to comedy? We should be in fun of whatever.

And the second the jokes are about Elon, it's like, oh, dude, it used to be funny. This is fucked up. You just became the guy you were criticizing for the last four years. She bent Shapiro talking about Bill Baer. What did he say? He said, I've been a Bill Baer fan for years.

I thought he's absolutely brilliant. I went to see him in Florida. He's gone woke. Like, Bill Baer's gone woke. This is another thing, like, there are narratives that happen when a comedian gets to a certain size, right? A certain level of success. Like I haven't seen it happen with me,

I've seen it happen with other people. And these narratives just sprout up, and you have to be a certain level of success for the narratives to even pop up. And what's interesting about Burr is, Burr is one of the most prolific comedians that's ever existed. And I've seen this thing happen, like oh, he's going, whoa, girl, it is it's honestly, I think I this is my take on it

It's like when feminism like the pendulum swung way too far in one direction and you could never feel like you could make fun of women and women were saying insane shit There's like with the protection of feminism if you call them out on it, then you're a sexist and you're a bigot So everybody was really scared Comedians who had jokes about the absurdity of this extreme feminism gained a lot of popularity because you could get the sentiment that we all had out. I mean, I'd definitely benefit from that.

I had plenty of jokes about that. And Bill was amazing and prolific at that. Now, the pendulum has swung back. We don't need to make fun of feminists all the time. We realize that they're retarded. So now he's going just making fun of whatever he wants to make fun of right now. But because he doesn't offer that like social utility for you, now he's gone woke and now he's not funny. It's bullshit. I also think. You never liked him. You liked that he made you feel

good with your feelings. Yes. He validates your opinions with jokes. Exactly. You never respected the craft or the art of comedy. Totally, and as a comic for me, like when I'm watching comedy, like and when I sort of, it's not even necessarily the most I ever laugh, but the most respect I ever have for a comedian is when I do not know what, I don't think you should ever know what a comedian's real opinion on any subject is. Like when a comic brings a subject up and it could be, oh I'm going to talk about trans people now or this or whatever. When I know what your next four minutes of opinions are gonna be bored, I'm done with it. And I do think some comics get to a certain level and we don't have to name names, I hate slagging off comics and stuff like publicly and whatever but there's certain comics who are big like arena level comics and they bring shit up now and I'm like,

we know the angle. I know exactly what you think on this even as a comic and it would be so much funnier if you if Bill Beren is new hour is doing an hour about why women are great that'll be the best thing as long as it's funny I don't care if you're woke as long as it's funny yeah I'm assuming a baseline that the comic is getting laughs it's funny exactly and that's what I hate about the criticism, right? It's like you can be funny and have a progressive line of thinking. There was a guy named John Stewart that did it really effectively for the last fucking two decades, probably. So, yeah, it's like it's really it's a shame when you see these people that they seem to like be fighting for comedy

and everybody can get these jokes and the second the jokes are kind of against their point of view, all of a sudden, now that person has completely changed. Everything's funny until it's about your thing. And like there's certain stuff people could bring up that I would be offended by, but you just gotta, you know, you gotta just, I've said this before on another podcast years ago, this is how I view comedy. This is like my sort of, the way I like to think about it.

It's like we're lawyers, right? We're like defence lawyers. And the bit is our client. And our job isn't to worry about whether they're guilty or not. Our job is to get them off. Yeah, sure. Our job is to convince the jury that this is an innocent thing. And it doesn't matter whether, like, I take any clients on, you could say this is, this is what my opinion is on this. I've got to win the jury over. And that's why bad comics, they were like, oh, the crowd are too woke for me.

It's like, no, no, no, you're a bad lawyer. You couldn't get your client on. You couldn't convince a jury of your peers that your premise was innocent. If you had an attorney say that, I'd be like, dude, you're going to jail because that jury's so woked. Yeah.

Yeah, fucking. That jury sucks. I'd be like, that's not good. You said you'd save my life. Yeah, look at the fucking woke. No, you're 100% right. Comedy should be like your emotional reaction to something. It doesn't have to be what you know to be right or wrong. It's how you feel in the moment. All the old Borschfeld comics, take my wife, please.

You don't really want someone to take your fucking wife. But there's moments where you're like, get this bitch away from me, right? And that's the sentiment of the joke. So as long as you're honoring that emotional reaction to the joke, doesn't matter what's fucking true or not true. And he's Ben Shapiro type, so I don't know why we would give a flying fuck

what they think about comedy anyway. Like he literally says, facts don't care about your feelings. Comedy should not deal with facts at all. No. Like the facts guys stay out of don't care about your feelings. Comedy should not deal with facts at all. No. Like, the facts, guys, stay out of comedy. We're liars, you know what I mean? I want the liar comments.

I want the comments like, I'm gonna lie and it's gonna be funny for the next hour. I'm like, I lied to you. You are interesting to me. Yeah. You know, like, when Patrice O'Neil talks about harassment day. Us, yeah.

He's not literally saying we should sexually harass women one day out of the year, but emotionally. Be funny if you did. That's all comedy. That's all comedy. It'd be funny if. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to do this.

It'd be funny if. It'd be funny if. We got the grooming gangs, and we got the girls that fuck everybody. Be funny if we connected them. Tell the grooming gang, show up at Bonnie Blue's next thing. Problem solved. It'd be funny if. Why is that so hard for these nerds like Shapiro to understand? Because he's a super autistic, like ones and zeros guy.

And the comedy is in between ones and zeros. It's twos and threes and fours and fives and like... Well now you're exciting them. But yes, 100%. It's between the lines. It's twos and threes and fours and fives and like... Well, now you're exciting them. You're saying, no. But yes, 100%. It's between the lines. It's that emotion, it's that feeling, it's everything in between. Most people have a thing where they go, there's nothing funny about blank. You know what I mean?

And the comics go, no, there's something funny about it. But there's nothing funny to you! About like, there's... And that's why we do it. Yeah. You're not a comedian. Yeah. Ben Shapiro, you're the guy who says if comedians are too woke or not. Yeah.

You have a new girlfriend, right? Yes. Has she seen your old set where you talk about your old girlfriend? Well, I can't wait for this breakup. All my cards are with me. Nah. Speaking of understanding topity. Apple Pay is just on my phone.

I wonder if she's seen the old set and is like, I better act right, bro. Or if she wants to be famous. Act very wrong. Yeah, you gotta be careful for the toxics. The girl I'm with now is, we've been friends for a few years. We were friends actually when I was working, that's the first.

So she's seen an early warm up for that show. We've been together since July. out. So she's seen like an early warm up of that show. We've been together since July and yeah, she's great. Asian? Yeah. No. Is that an eye joke? Going back to your roots.

That's hilarious. The girls love you, they're just like, how does he open it so? Why? They just have to sleep on this side of the bed. Oh bro. The girls love you, they're just like, how does he open it so you can't stop? They just have to sleep on this side of the bed. Oh, bro. Nah, you're like the Taylor Swift of comics, man. You get in a relationship, break up, oh, I got a new special. You do one hour.

And that sticks forever. Bro, that's funny, though. I mean, you gotta talk about your shit. It was a crazy story though. I'd like, yeah. Genuinely, like for legal reasons, I have to stress it was fictional. Yes. Yeah, it is. Completely.

There's no truth in it at all. And any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental. Yeah, exactly. Don't you hate those coincidences? You have an hour of coincidences, purely coincidental. Yeah, exactly. You need those coincidences. Yeah. You have an hour of coincidences, you're like, oh, great. It's fucking wild. Like my mom's an alcoholic in real life and in the show.

Like what the shit? What are they on? What the fuck? I could have written anything, but it was just a king of all. That's a funny thing to put in the beginning of a special. Yeah. For legal reasons, all of this is fiction. Yeah.

Well, that's even more enticing. Yeah, right? It's, yeah. It was interesting putting a special like that up, because, you know, that for me, that hour, so the hour you're talking about there is called Juicy. And that is more of like an Edinburgh Festival type hour of stand up,

where it's one long story. I'm sat down for a lot of it. We shot it in a small room very deliberately. And that is not the way I've came up. Although I've gone to the Edinburgh Festival and done hours and stuff, I've never really before that show, done like a long narrative hour and like figured out, the reaction from like people who followed me for years and like fans of like

our podcasts and stuff was like, this like, I love all your stand up, I love all your jokes, I love all the routines. This is just different. And the fact that there's like a, there's genuine like pieces of you and there's moments where you're not even trying to be funny and you're just talking to us,

it's a totally different thing and we want more of that. And then with the, so I put a special out in November, the most recent one, and that's a lot more clubby again, because I wanted to just go back out and do what I've done for years. I do think the next show I do will probably be another like narrative one. I want to like try another story and try and do another thing. Yeah, the way it was received, when you can really sort of put a piece of you, like, and be, you know, talk about your actual life

and what you actually felt at the moment and proper give people a real story, the reaction to it. Especially I've just put out, I'm really proud of it. I think it's fucking great. A lot of people have messaged me and been like, this is so funny the reaction to it. Like, the special I've just put out, I'm really proud of it, I think it's fucking great. A lot of people have messaged me and been like, this is so funny, fucking love it, they're sharing it, this is the best, like, the funniest hour standup I've seen. When I was getting messages about Juicy,

they were like, paragraphs in the DMs, like, this, it made me remember this. Stories affect people differently in general. Like, if somebody walks in the room right now and goes, guys, I got a crazy story, we're gonna give them about like two minutes of our attention no matter what. It's like our earliest form of digesting information.

Before we could like write shit down, it was just people saying, yo, this is kinda wild. I mean, the Odyssey, who the fuck remembered that entire story? But we're hardwired to remember these things and have this long-form narrative. It's like, if we wanted little chunks of things, movies wouldn't exist. No. But when you sit down for two hours, it's this one beautiful long story that kind of reflects,

you know, where our lives are led, you know, so. But mixing things up, I think is important too. You got to always keep your fans on their toes. I think like once they start expecting something, there can be a little boredom that comes with it. When they show up and they see this hour and it's all these punchy jokes and they're like, oh shit, whoa, that's right, oh, he also does this. Then you hit them next time with something completely different.

That's what I wanna do. Like the hour I've just put out, I love doing it. I worked with Alfie again, who helped me with Juicy, like directed it, he was also opening for me. So it was a lot of the tour shows being like, hey, you've done this a little different to last night. Last night was better, stuff like that. He's really good for that.

And we shot this most recent one in my bucket list venue. I know your bucket list venue was MSG. And that's why I flew out for that with Carl. It was so good that I just to be there for that. Thank you, man. But the first venue I ever seen comedy in was the Liverpool Empire Theatre, it's a British comedy called Ross Noble. Oh yeah.

And I was 16, I just like sort of found out like live comedy was a real thing, it wasn't just like something that was on the TV every now and then. Yeah. And I loved it and that was sort of the start of like how I can do this and I remember like when I started I was like, by the time I'm 30, I won a headline in that room. By the time I did that, I was 32, but the two years for COVID, I'm taking that off. And we did two, like I fucking, you know,

incredible like hometown sports back home. So we did two shows in one night in the Empire Theater. So that was nearly 5,000 tickets. And then later in the tour, we did the arena. And I've got the footage from that where, you know, the jokes are a little different and like we can release some clips from that eventually. But the special shots to just like the guy,

like Will, who's like our camera guy at our podcast and like our production company, like he's filmed with me for years now. And he knows what I want from a special. Like a big thing for me is there's always movement in the shot. I never want a camera on a tripod that's got no one doing this with it. Like, if it's static, I want a slow zoom. If, like... And he not only, like, just got what I wanted,

the level to which he's filmed it, the shots, the backdrop, the haze is the perfect... Like, it's so good. The audiences were fucking incredible. And I'm so happy with how it came out. Yeah, and I'm really happy with it as an hour of stand up. But just as a video, it's... You can watch it with the sound off and I think you'd like it.

Because he shot it so well. And I'm so proud. Like, we did that with my team. And that genuinely comes, like, genuinely from what you guys do, do you know what I mean? Like, watching people who just go, oh, I'm just gonna make it myself. And like, I shopped it around and we got a couple of bites

and not the bites that I wanted. And I was like, it's going on YouTube. I want people to see it. Yeah, and the reason I came out to the States for these two weeks, I wanted to start again where no one really knows me. And be going on in comedy clubs where they're like, who the fuck's it? And I've got to win them over again. Because like most comedy clubs in the UK, like most comedy clubs in the UK, like I could probably get that a little bit, but they'll always

be like 10% or whatever. And if I do it in Liverpool at my home club, at least half the room are like, oh, here's Adam. So I just wanted to like being in New York and Austin and being like I'm starting again with clubby stuff for now, because we're about to go on like a podcast tour where I've got to do 20 minutes. But in the back of my head, I'm making, I'm sitting in cafes all day over here being like, what's this next like long story to give me? And there's got to be something real. Like you can't make a story out of nothing. No, but like watching you do your show that I don't know how much you spoke about when your specials coming out and whatever. Come out. I don't know if we've mentioned it, but basically

next month, next month it comes out on Netflix. Yeah. But like I watched you do that twice. Once in Manchester, once at MSG. Yeah. Oh, you saw the new version in MSG. Yeah. Because I didn't announce the thing yet. The back half of that special is a story. The frontloaded, you're being shultz and what everyone knows. For people who haven't seen that tour live and they're going to watch the special, there's a shift in that hour, isn't there? From Infamous. It's not just another album. Yeah, that was the idea. I mean, yeah, the idea is I wanted to tell a story. And it was

another something I'd never done before. I also want to be personal. Like I never thought my life was interesting enough to be personal. You know, and then, you know, this was really hard for us to have a kid. And then I started talking about on stage and then I started getting those reactions from people. And they were like, well, you yeah, I'm kind of going through the same thing. And I was like, oh shit, it's not just me. And I started reading all these books about storytelling and like learning like what the structure was and the different arcs that you have to do and the three acts. And I was like, okay, maybe I can turn this into a story, but I don't want the audience

to think that it's a one man show. Yeah. Because I always felt like that was a little bit of a... It's like you're asking them to lower their expectations a little. You know what I mean? So I wanted to start a stand-up and then turn into this thing and see if I can kind of hold your attention. And then the weirdest thing would happen is, like, you get into the story

and, like, you can just feel the energy. Yeah, yeah. Like, they're like, where's this going? What's gonna happen? Wait, no. And yet I can see why you're compelled to do it again because once you capture their attention in that way, it feels different than just punch-ons. If I'm fully honest with you,

so the most recent special that went out was called What's Wrong With Me. And when I first sat down to start writing that, I had the exact same sort of plan. It was like, I'm gonna front load it with bang, bang, bang, bang, and the last 20 minutes is gonna be more whatever. I'm curious, how much of the last 20 is true? Like, the kid throwing the shoe, the MRI.

So, I haven't clipped that yet, but we can talk about that. That is almost all true. Really? Okay. But also none of it is. Yeah, none of it is. None of it is true. It's so good. This isn't juicy. This isn't...

I'm just saying to protect you. None of it is. So, I was at the airport. So, the story at the end of this show, which I thought would be more of a narrative story, sit down, let's have a conversation bit. And just as I was doing it on tour and working with Alfie on it,

Alfie was like, this can just be punchy. Like it's funny enough that we can keep it punchy and it's still interesting. And you don't have to slow down quite as much as you did with Juicy. So let's just let it be what it's gonna be. Like let the sort of show choose itself sort of thing. But I'm a bit fucking mental with like health anxiety, like bad hypochondria.

So like I've thought I'm having like heart attacks and strokes before. Like really all consuming at times. And for a year, for a year, I didn't get checked for a year, but I had Googled symptoms and I was pretty sure I had multiple sclerosis, MS, right? Which is not like a death sentence, but severely life-affected.

And it can limit your life, but it's not like you're gonna die, whatever. And I was sat at the airport waiting to do a show to Belfast and I've been putting it off because in my head genuinely I was like I don't want to know I've got it because then I've got it yeah and then yeah you're dead I'd rather think I've got it yeah I feel that 100% I yeah I'd rather think I've got it than have it I avoid that shit so yeah I'm putting it off, but like literally, literally. So this is the true measure of the story.

I would wake up every morning and the first thing my brain would give me was, you got MS, just so you know. Yeah. What? And then I'm going to sleep at night and it didn't matter. Unless I was like hammered and I've been out with the boys and you just pass out. Like if I'm like sober and going to bed

and like the room's quiet, my brain would be like, yeah, just go to sleep. But you know, you have got MS. So just so you know, like it's just constant all the time. And like if I was really hung over, all the symptoms got real worse and it was bad. And then I'm sat in the airport waiting for this flight to Belfast, which is a 25 minute flight. It was delayed by two hours. And I'm sat there and there was two people who were obviously also waiting for the same plane. And it was a woman and the guy she cares for. It was like severely disabled, like shouty, non-control of limbs disabled.

Yeah. And he took, he kept taking his shoe off and throwing it like down the airport like lounge and I was just really enjoying it it was really funny it was so fun like I just got it for the first time I've seen it I was like she's having a bad day yeah like I think I'm having a bad day waiting for this plane but like I'm this she's having a bad day and she keeps like putting it back on she's putting on she's going stop it now people are watching us and it's not funny fucking stop it now and then he would sit there and he would just wait a few minutes and he'd take it off again so he like he'd done it for the entire delay

and every time it got funny and in the end I'm like laughing out loud and stuff. And then that day genuinely was the day I booked my MRI scan to get tested for MS. Because the biggest fear I had, and this is true, was that I wouldn't, if it was going to affect my speech and my ability to hold a microphone and stuff, if it affected my ability to do stand up, which is all I really care about is being able to be a comic. That's all I want to be a great comic and that's like my life thing. As I, if it takes that away from me, I won't find it funny. I won't find having a disability funny.

And watching him throw his shoe again and again and again. And the fact that every time she told him off, he waited. So he knew what he was doing. Because otherwise, if he just didn't know, he'd have took it straight off again and threw it again. But he was waiting until it was funny again. And it didn't matter that he was like, like that. There was a part of his brain that was like, this is hilarious. And I was like, if he's seeing the funny side of what he's got, like I'm not gonna be that. So I've gotta be able to find humor in mine.

And I went and got checked. And then it turned out you were gay? I was hungover. I was drinking too much. Different disease. Runs in the family. I wonder if you've got what that guy has. If you guys both think shoe-off is the funniest thing ever, I got that.

You know, since I got checked, because I haven't really spoken to any of my friends about the symptoms and stuff. So I just Googled it and and Google goes you've got an S Yeah, of course, and I've spoken to like mates of mine since and I'm like, oh, it was you know, it's there And they were like, yeah, I get that too But like like I know there's like this been it's like wave like men need to talk more Yeah, if we did just have a little You know when you go like heavy on a night and you wake up the next day, yeah Do you ever like struggle to sort of articulate your words? Oh yeah, you can't think of words, you're trying to remember shit.

On stage you're like, ah! Or do you ever like go to speak and you need to swallow your saliva? But you've got to swallow? Yeah. These are all symptoms of multiple cirrhosis. Oh. So like this is what I was getting to like a severe level if I was having like a big night and I'm going on stage the next night and I'm having to like constantly sip water so that I can get through the set and then I googled it and I was like Oh, what is it? And it's like you've got you've definitely got multiple sclerosis

And for a year I was like putting it off and I paid a lot of money for the doctor to be like So all these people are out here running 10k for a bunch of alcoholics I think so I think so. We wake up at 6 in the morning and jog in the freezing cold for a guy with too many things to do. Fucking assholes. And you're so stressed about it, you're like, you know what will help with this? Alcohol.

Yeah. Having a drink with that. He also is the only thing that helps. Because when you're drunk you're like, I'll have it man. I can speak fine. I can get my words out really clearly right now. Have you been on hypochondria forever? It started about a month after my dad had a heart attack.

So like I had a real, like there was a good few months in, my mum died in September. My dad had a heart attack and nearly died in December. And a month later, I started getting like severe chest pain. And I went to hospital via an ambulance like well into double figures in one calendar month. Now in the UK that costs nothing so like over here I probably couldn't have afforded the hypochondria but like in the UK I would turn up and I'd be like I think I'm having a heart attack again and it'd be like the same nurse and she'd be like okay cool so they'd hook me up to the ECG machine and I'd be like, I think I'm having a heart attack again. And it'd be like the same nurse. And she'd be like, okay, cool. So they'd hook me up to the ECG machine and they'd like check

and then, but every time this is what they'd say, they'd go, look, you're 24. You don't smoke. You don't do cocaine. You're not going to have a heart attack. You're not. But you could. or not, but you could. Okay, don't say that. So if you get like worse symptoms than you had today, if it feels really different, then come back because then we need to see it. And your brain goes, got it. Yeah. And then the next day, I'm like, this feels different to yesterday.

And then back to the hospital. You were just regular at the hospital. You'd walk up and be like, I'll take the same thing. Room two. Yeah, room two. All right, guys, this two? Yeah, room two. Alright guys, let's take a break for a second. I want to talk to you about freedom.

Freedom from exhaustion. Freedom from fatigue. Freedom from drowsiness. Freedom from sleepiness. There's one way that you can do that. Coke. Now! that you can do that. Coke. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Now! Now that we got our border shut down, that Coke is gonna be hard to get. So how are you gonna compensate? You're gonna do it with another C word, coffee. Black rifle coffee to be exact, okay? Many people have told me that's the cocaine of coffee. Pfft.

Pfft. A lot of you guys are sniffing unnecessary fentanyl in your nose when you couldn't be slurping on a black rifle coffee, right? Being a proud American, feeling free, not having a caved in nose. That's what happens when you're sniffing up all that cocaine and fentanyl coming across the border which is now shut down, okay? If you wanna be free that cocaine and fentanyl coming across the border, which is now shut down.

Okay? If you wanna be free of cocaine and fentanyl, but still be awake to stand on that border and see if migrants are crossing, black rifle coffee is the way to, okay? If you need to be up all night patrolling the border for America, caca! I was waiting for it. To make sure, I need at least one cacao

in every Black Rifle. You make sure, if you wanna be up, I know some of y'all are up all night on cocaine patrolling that border, you don't need that anymore. You got the Black Rifle Cacao-fee. I didn't even know that was possible. I just added the cacao and coffee together.

How did I do that? I had the black rifle espresso with cream and my brain started coming up with unbelievable ideas. How to stop abortions. How to... Just kidding. Just kidding, Al. I'm just kidding.

Al, don't be concerned. The point that I'm trying to make is this black rifle coffee right here is gonna keep at least 300 migrants outside of your country. 100% guaranteed. This black rifle coffee right here is gonna make sure that all of our trade partners

bend a knee and kiss the feet, okay? If you're slurping down a black rifle coffee, you are projecting America into its next golden age of freedom and excellence and mostly workers from America. Mostly, mostly workers. There are no H1B visas at the Black Rival Coffee Company. I don't know that for a fact, but that's what I assume when I drink this espresso with cream. Caw-caw! My point is, if you go to blackriflecoffee.com and use the code flagrant, you're going to

keep 30% more migrants out of this country. And you're going to get 30% off today and see what all the hype is about. Let's get back to the show. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. Listen, everybody knows somebody who is deeply affected by the wildfires in LA Okay, we just had somebody over the studio a couple weeks ago lost absolutely everything I've had tons of friends and lost ever absolutely everything is incredibly tragic It's one of the worst natural disasters that we've ever experienced here in America

I think they said was something like 250 billion dollars worth of damage There are priceless memories that are absolutely, you know, evaporated by that fire. Obviously there's a lot of questions. There are claims that insurance companies canceled thousands of homeowners' fire policies in the months leading up to the fires. Were those cancellations legal?

Could this catastrophe have been avoided? Was the city prepared? Morgan & Morgan, America's largest injury law firm, has helped millions of families in their times of need, just like now. They were there for the PG&E wildfire and for the Maui wildfires, and now they're here again to help the families

that have been affected by the Los Angeles wildfires. So if you or someone you know lost property because of these California wildfires, you can check out Morgan & Morgan today, okay? They might be able to help you out. They might be able to get you the bag the bag that you deserve so for more information go to caliwildfirelawsuit.com that is cali c-a-l-i wildfire lawsuit.com to learn more this is a paid advertisement for Morgan & Morgan now let's get back to the show what's the wildest thing you believed you had i think i think ms is hard to top. The heart attack stuff was

the worst. That was a good 18 months of being completely uncontrollable. And it was definitely tied to, you know, you lose a mom and then... Yeah, of course. This is also how much my family drink, this is true. So my dad had that heart attack on my little brother's 18th birthday. Can we get another beer or two in here for Alan? Yeah, of course. I want to see some symptoms. Have to wait till tomorrow. Grab me one too. Go on. My dad had that heart attack on my little brother's 18th birthday.

Oh Jesus. Right. So I had a set at the comedy club in Liverpool. So my little brother was going for a meal in the little village near where we lived, West Arby Village, and then was going into the city centre to go out into the early hours of the morning. So I was like, I'll come to the meal, I'll quickly run into town, do my set, and then I'll come and meet you back at the bar. He's like, great. So I have the meal, I go to town and I'm literally behind the curtain waiting to go on and my phone rings and it's, thanks man, it's me little brother and initially I thought I'll just turn this off. I was like there's 15 of him and his friends and what he's probably going to

be like is, can you get me into your show? Me and my friends wanna watch you set. So I thought I'll just fucking button him. And, you know, I'll see him after the thing. But something made me answer the phone. Fucking button him. Buy a ticket lad. And I answered it and he goes, you need to leave the comedy club right now.

And I was like, I'm not fucking doing that, I'm about to go on stage. What do you mean? And he goes, my dad's having a heart attack. And I was like, what? And I, like, obviously, I don't really remember the next, like, five minutes, but apparently I just go, like, white. Yeah. And, uh, so there's another guy

that was supposed to go on after me. He was like, I'll just, he's, like, the host's already on, they think I'm on. And, like, this passing the no culture in America, where it's, like, someone else is going on, that's just another thing so the the host just goes Adam Rowe and this other guy Pete goes on stage and just explains what's going on and so I call my dad's phone because Jack's like he's gone to the

hospital and the doctor answers and he's like yeah he's currently in the Royal Liverpool Hospital but he's being transferred to Broad Green Heart and Chest Hospital because he is having a heart attack and they need to, you know, they need to operate on him right now. So we go to Broad Green Hospital, I get there and then my family have sort of heard of it. Like they've heard what's going on through my brother and other people. So like my auntie or aunt for you guys, her partner, my uncle, and a few cousins and there's a load of us in this little room. The first thing, you know, like this is how comedy can really like fix an awful

moment. We're all just so sad. My dad is like under the knife having the surgery like right now to try and fix what's going on. And we're all just like devastated and don't know what to do and my uncle who's not with us anymore he died a few years ago he was just the most gentle giant in the world but he was also fucking stupid like so thick and he goes into the bathroom and he comes back in and he goes this is a real like fancy hospital list And I was like, what, it's an NHS hospital on the outskirts of Liverpool, what the fuck are you talking about? And he goes, nah, I don't know.

They make you sign the wall to say you've been and used the toilet. And I was like, no, that's the cleaning thing. And he'd got a pen. Like he just got rid of his cancer? Like, no. So you know, on the wall of a bathroom bathroom when the cleaner goes in and cleans the bathroom? They have to sign to go 1pm Sheila clean the thing.

There's just like, Marie, Marie, Marie, Sheila, Sheila, Sheila and then just Colin. And we're all fucking dying laughing at that. And another hour ago my dad's done the surgery And then this guy comes in and he goes, look, your dad's gonna make it. He's in a pretty, you know, it was a pretty big clot that he had and we've got it out. It's gonna be a long road to recovery, but we're gonna bring him past this waiting room you're in

now to put him into there, but you're not gonna be able to see him for a couple of hours just so you know. Okay. And then about 30 seconds later we hear like double doors go to the other end of the corridor, so we're all poking our heads out the door. And my dad is being wheeled on a bed, but he is sat up off his fucking head on drugs with thumbs up. And I go, are you alright? And he says, I think I'll make last orders.

What does that mean? Like the last call at the bar. It's nice of him to let you guys know, like, hey, don't worry. 20 minutes later, he says, like, you can go and see him. And my dad was like, so are we leaving? And we were like, you're going to be here for like a week. I'm fine. He was like, you've had a heart attack. He's like, yeah, but I'm not anymore.'s like, yeah, but it's I'm not anymore

He's a football player with the thumbs up he's getting stretchered off, you know, it's kind of nice Oh, that's wild, but he's passed you said my uncle has the guy who signed his name. Your dad My dad's still with us. He's okay. Good shit. How old are you now? 33. Okay, cool Are you boozing less now, ever since your MS? No. If anything, like... Now that you know you don't have an MS. Cheers. I go through phases with drinking where I'm like, I'll go like, like I've signed up for a half marathon in May, so like for like eight weeks before that I'll really cut it out and I'll run like a lot more than that. My weight always fluctuates me drinking. Like I go real hard for like a while and then go,

let's just have a little chill. Which period are you in right now? So normally I would like have a relatively quiet January, but my birthday is the 11th of January. It's the 11th and you're in New York. Yeah, no. So like with this year, I was like Christmas was a heavy session with this year, I was like, Christmas was a heavy session.

And then January, I was like, the second of January is my housemate's, like my roommate's birthday. Exactly. The 11th is my birthday. I'm in New York and Austin for two weeks. I was like, we'll see what February looks like, you know? But then the podcast's on tour in Dublin in February. So maybe we have to see what March looks like. But then it's me dad's birthday. So you gotta celebrate for that. Yeah, you gotta get after that. Yeah, that's good. And then April's Easter, you know, that's a big week. We're gonna be sober during Easter.

That's crazy. That's insane. Have you ever turned down a drink from your family? I did this like a week ago. My dad was like, oh yeah, what are you gonna have? I was like, I'm not gonna drink. He goes, alright, come on. I was like, no, I'm not. He goes, alright right, come on. I was like, no, I'm not. He goes, all right, we'll just have two more loads. And just got him just ordered me a drink.

He's like, no, all right. I wish Alex would learn how to turn down a drink. I wish he was like, you know, you can't take this motherfucker anywhere, dude. Oh, no, what do you do? Are you happy on the booze? No, he's not happy on the booze, but if he has like three drinks,

he has no ability to control the questions that he asks any people. No matter what the environment he's in. I go down on the- I wanna ask you about your eye. three drinks he has no ability to control the questions that he asks any people yeah I go down to the actually about your eye ask me about the eye no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm they go do this tournament, it's awesome, you get to play and watch these guys and it's incredible. And I'm obsessed with this sport, it's not even popular yet, so you're right there, you're watching them, it's unbelievable. It's like, it'd be like if you were watching like the dream team in basketball scrimmage against each other, but there's only, you know,

a couple hundred people in the gym. It's unbelievable. And I go, Al, you wanna come down to Miami? It'll be fun, will I hang out? He was, yeah, actually I would like to do that. And I was like, oh, awesome. My friend, I don't get to hang out with him that much anymore, he's gonna come down.

He says, this is great. Comes down, we're all hanging out. Now the other captain is a guy named Derek Jeter, who is the shortstop for the Yankees. You know Derek Jeter. And growing up in New York, he's the king of New York. And to the king go to spoils. And there was lots of great stories about Derek Jeter.

Maybe the most famous story that's ever come out about Derek Jeter is that, this is a story. This is a fictional story. Is that after he would bed the most beautiful women in New York City, he would give them a gift basket of his signed memorabilia as a sign of his appreciation. Legend.

Okay? Yeah. So Derek's the co-captain, like I get to meet Derek, or he's the other captain, I get to meet Derek, and I'm chopping it up with him, and I'm like, at a certain point in time, I'm asking about this gift basket. And I'm like warming up to it.

And he's the sweetest, nicest guy, like, and he's also like, he's this nice, polite, fucking handsome, dignified dude, but he's also been playing baseball, which is just hanging around with guys in a dugout for 20 years, maybe 30. He's playing with the kids. So he knows how to be a bro and hang as well. He's starting to get a little loose. We're busting balls a little bit.

And Alex comes over. And Alex is so excited, and Alex is like, four tequilas deep, right? And I see Alex come in hot. He just appears sometimes, right? He pops up out of nowhere, and usually you could like, hover in the periphery, and I'm gonna introduce you, he introduces himself, right?

He goes, hey, I just wanna let you know, my name is Alex Media, he gives him his like, famous name, not even like his real name. And he goes. His gametag? Exactly, like, famous name. Not even, like, his real name. You know? Uh, and he goes... His gamertag? Exactly. Exactly. And he goes... Hello, you want to hire me on Xbox?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, hey, my name is Alex Media. I just want to know, you're a legend. And I'm like, all right, where's this going? That's fine. And he goes, you're a legend.

And then he looks at it, and then Derek's like, oh, thanks so much, man. He goes, no, no, no. You're a legend. And I'm like, no, Al, don're a legend. And then he looks at it and then Derek's like, oh, thanks so much, man. He goes, no, no, no, no. You're a legend. And I'm like, no, Al, don't do it. Don't do it. And he just goes, I gotta know. What's up with the gift bags?

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

Derek is so, Derek is so media trained, right? He goes, man, I mean, you gotta be stupid to even believe a story like that. You gotta be stupid. Now he don't say it in that, he just says you gotta be stupid to even believe a story like that. So I'm like-

That's such a good denial, isn't it? It's beautiful, right? You gotta be stupid to even believe a story like that. Now I've always wanted to ask Derek this one question because I've always thought about the gift baskets because I'm like, hold on. There are guys that probably got gifted like a signed baseball from their favorite baseball player by their girlfriend, like a Derek Jeter signed baseball. And after that story came out,

I always wondered what those dudes thought. Like they'd pick up that baseball and be like, how the fuck did you get this baseball? Can I see the authentication? Where the fuck is this baseball from? Right? And so I could try to like, you know, just calm the situation down and I go, yeah, wouldn't that be funny if a guy said that? And he's just kinda laughing, we're all kinda laughing, and it goes to silent for a second, he goes, nah, but you did that shit, right?

You did it for fun, Alan. It's fine. It's fine. Now, Alan's so drunk, he doesn't start to realize Derek getting annoyed, and Derek starts going, I mean, you gotta be a fucking idiot to believe that. He says, fucking idiot to believe that. And Al goes, nah, you're a man, bro.

That's crazy. Bro, bro, bro. And Al has one line, right, that he had fucking in the deck for about 10 years. He goes, ha ha ha, short stop, more like long stop. No. No. No.

No. No. No. Vala goes, Vala goes, Vala goes, oh yeah, now we're ready to go out. He goes, I've been waiting to say that for 10 years. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And Jader's just there the whole time. Yeah, he's there. And this guy's like a head over your bro. Bro. And this is his story of you. I know it sucks. I'm so embarrassed. Derek might have said three different times, you would have to be a fucking idiot to believe that story.

I think one at a time I was like, this fucking idiot. And Al always prides himself on being like the coolest guy when he meets people. Like anytime someone comes in I take a picture of them and Al's always like, fucking dick. And Al always prides himself on being like the coolest guy when he meets people. Like anytime someone comes in I take a picture of him and Al's always like f***ing too big. Like at some point someone's gonna like show up. He did a whole Instagram carousel post where it was like him and Derek Jeter, a picture of a gift basket. Got his Instagram right now, he's snitching on himself.

He's the father of four. He's a business man now. At some point Derek Jeter's gonna be sat with one of his friends and one of his friends is going to be like, oh, there's this podcast I watched called Flate. Like, look at it. And Derek Jeter is going to go, I met those guys. And see that guy, you know what he fucking did? He's a fucking idiot.

Look at this. Look at a happy house. I thought I was the agent. Oh, go back, go back. Oh, look at you fucking corn ball. Go back. You know, I thought I was at the age that I wouldn't geek out if I met one of my childhood heroes But I just met Derek Cheater and that is not the case. Next slide.

Respect. Respect. Next slide. Give back. Next slide. Is there one more? No, no, no. There was a couple he didn't post. I already know. Yeah. Trying to get ahead of it. Oh man. Bro, you might have MS. For real, dude. Shout out Derek, though. Derek's a fucking man, man. Oh, man. Bro, you might have MS, for real, dude. Shout out to Derek, though. Derek's a fucking man, dude.

You think we can get him on the podcast? I was immediately trying to get him on the podcast. You gotta come on the podcast. You gotta tell some of those stories. I gotta make up for this, bro. Bro, I said to him, I go, Derek, what you need to do is never come on this podcast, okay? Until every one of your business deals is signed, sealed, delivered, and you already retire and anger your wife

and your entire family, then you come on Flaker and you tell them stories with the boys. I think I said to him, I was like, you know, you're married, I know. Would your wife care if you gave out gift baskets? And he's like, nah, probably not. It's like, then you need to go with this lie and sell it right now.

I mean, it can't be true. Like, when he said you gotta be a fucking idiot to believe it, there was a part of me that was like, yeah, that's the most ridiculous thing ever. But you have to understand what we saw Derek Jeter as. Like, who is the biggest football player in England when you were growing up? For me, it was Steven Gerrard.

Okay, so it was Gerrard or some people's Beckham or some people's. Gerrard. Gerrard. Gerrard. Gerrard. Only Gerrard. Gerard, Gerard, Gerard. Only Gerard. Gerard. Midfielder.

Yeah. Yeah, I knew that from thief. Went to my school. No way. Yeah, same school. Same school as Carl, my mate, and Paddy the baddie. Oh, no way. All the same school.

That was crazy, that Paddy thing that happened. Paddy and Steven are painted on the walls. I'm not on the walls. You gotta get on that wall. You gotta get on that fucking wall. Start hanging out some confess. What are you? What are you trying to do? Now, but shout out to Derrick, man.

I thought he handled your drunk ass very well. Okay, cool. But I don't know. I kind of left the convo and I told Vala, I was like, yo, get Alex the fuck out of there immediately. I've never been more embarrassed. Would you want him on the podcast? I would. Would you be worried you're gonna make him win?

Are you kidding? Yeah, no, absolutely. I got him. I got him. But at the same time, it's like, I would only want him if he was comfortable talking that shit about what happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to equate it to something, like this guy had the city in his hand. The Knicks weren't really balling like that, weren't winning championships, he was winning championships. The Yankees win, there's an entire parade, the whole city shuts down, we don't have school. Like it's unbelievable.

You know what's crazy to me? So like I love sports and I'm a real like when in Rome guy. Like if I'm somewhere I wanna go and do this thing. So like while I've been in New York, but like in the past I've been to a Knicks game, been to a Rangers game, been to a Nets game, been to a Jets game now. But I went to, when me and Karl came out to see you at MSG, we went to a Nets game, been to a Jets game now. Yeah. But I went to, when me and Karl came out to see you at MSG,

Yeah. we went to a Yankee game. Yeah. I really like it. Like not even just the sport, the sport's fine. It's boring. But like the idea of just being sat, not really needing to pay attention with your friend, just drinking beer. Just drinking beer.

But it was fucking empty. Really? Was this just like a regular season game against a bum team? So it was against Detroit? But I would say 15% of seats taken. Yeah, that's surprising. I mean, usually the Yankees sell tickets. There are teams that it's completely empty.

Like it looks like it's preseason. So what's the point? They play so many games too. Yeah, they play 162 games and the TV deals is where they make all the money. But I think something's got to change with baseball. Like I don't think there's the same excitement. I mean it's got to. Like for, obviously the only sport I really care about back home is like our football. You can't, like I can only get a ticket to a Liverpool game because I know enough people who've got like, like there's

20 of us, we go to every game. Sometimes two people can't make it. I know enough groups of that that I can normally get one or two tickets. You can't... Every single game sells out. At the start of the season, it's all gone. Whether we're good or bad. Like, when we were there, we were just like... We were watching it, being like, maybe everyone gets here for the second half. Like, for the end. And then we got for the second half.

And that's weird. I mean, that sounds weird for a Yankee. That's because Judo's not playing. Yeah, it's probably not. Nah, but even this year they were good. Like that's peculiar. Yeah. Who's the... forgive me for being so like unknowledgeable. Who's like the guy right now who's like expected to get a home run? Aaron Judge.

Aaron Judge. So I won some money on him. Because like her friend of mine was like, get Aaron Judge on for a home run. And I think he got one. Oh, you gambled you you oh, yeah. I like that you like to put some money down Oh, yeah Is that like yeah, oh tell me tell me what is your I'm gonna put a grand on the Eagles really Well, you know what if you're gonna if you're gonna gamble on sports You got to do it with steak. We've changed outfits, but it's important because this week is maybe the greatest week in sports.

And by that I mean, is another reminder that the Dallas Cowboys are not in the Super Bowl. Yeah, I'm broken. So I take back everything I said, I'm pretty certain the Eagles are gonna win because this is just a year that God has decided to make everything I hate happen. So the Eagles are gonna win the Super Bowl, I'm gonna throw myself off of whatever fucking bridge there is. I just want to remind you that Akash is having a career year right now, okay?

This guy's selling out a hundred shows every single city he goes to, it's unbelievable what he's doing. And he's still upset about his football team. Why God why? That's all I can think to say. The point is, if you're gonna bet on the Super Bowl, you should not trust Akash because he's been wrong every single week. We still trust him, but we're down to lose our money. If I was you, I will put that money

on them Kansas City Chiefs, okay? The last team in the league that still represents Native American Okay, there's something very important about that is fire that is fire that 100% Okay, and that's why they haven't lost they got the luck of the natives Simple as that. If it was the Washington Redskins, they might be in it. Oh That's probably just saying but the best luck who the? Yeah. I know, I think it's more irony. They got good luck with them casinos.

That is it. Tell Stake came in. Hey, Stake is the leader of the globe betting in US social casinos. Bet on top sports and political events. Use the promo code flagrant for your welcome bonus. All right, I just want to let you know, Stake is definitely owned by 100% Native Americans.

No, no, it's owned by 100% Natives. That's the way it is, Natives. Natives aware, we do not know. But those people are Native to somewhere and that is a fact, okay? Now let's get back to the show. You should go check out the Super Bowl, that'd be cool. I really want to go to the Super Bowl. Like one year, I'd love to go. That's a good American event. Dan who, Dan the co-host of our podcast, have a word. He's like a big, he doesn't care about football, like our football at all really, but he's a big NFL guy. His team is the Saints, but he

doesn't, he's not really that bothered. He wants them to win, but like he's like, he just loves the game. And he, you know, he's desperate for the Chiefs not to win this. He wants to be more interested in that. And I'm really getting into it, but yeah, like I just love the Sundays watching the NFL in the UK Are great because normally Liverpool if Liverpool play on a Saturday great if they play early Sunday I can watch Liverpool play at like lunchtime. Oh, yeah, all your NFL games are super late Mmm. Well, there's one that will start at like 6 p.m Yeah, so I can go to the Liverpool game get back watch the first game next game is 930 I'll watch that one and then if I'm not tired and I still want to stay up, there's a one o'clock game and I

can be up till 4am and it's just fucking great. And every game, but it's so easy. I know like you've got like a sponsor there, but like it's so much more difficult in the States to gamble than it is in the UK. Oh really? Oh really? Wait, why? The, like the UK, every like strip of shops has a bookies on it. What you can't do it digitally though.

Yeah, you can. I do it on my phone. So I, I mean, they don't operate in the US. So I hope it doesn't affect the sponsor. I use a company called bet three, six, five. Yeah. You use a stake. It's a, it's yeah, it's so easy. But like, I'll, I'll be watching like a a something like I'll have a bet on the game like the money line of the game or the cover or whatever. And like with the with soccer with our football like I'll have you call it a parlay we call it an accumulator or an acre. Like I'll have like every Prem game I'll try and whatever if Liverpool are playing something and if Man United are playing I'll'll bet against them. Like Boxing Day this year, the day after Christmas.

So every year on Boxing Day, me and the lads I went to school with, we still get together. That's our day. Like Christmas is fine, Boxing Day is my day. So this year we played golf at 9am. By 12 we'd done like half the course, we were like, ah fuck this, let's go to the pub. So we got to the pub after like half the course and we were in the pub until 6pm and then Liverpool played at 8pm. But there's games all day. So 9am golf after a breakfast with the boys, straight to the pub for lunch with the boys and beers and then Liverpool playing the night and I won about four and a half grand on boxing day.

Wow. Man United played Wolves. I put like 200 quid on Wolves to beat them. At one point Manchester City got a penalty and I bet in that moment on them to miss that penalty and they missed the penalty. But I bet like a really like convoluted thing on the Liverpool game. I don't know how you guys do this.

I get so stressed. Like anytime I put money down, I was just like, I can't even watch. It's like, it makes it so agonizing. You can only bet money that if I put money down, I was just like, I can't even watch. It's like, that makes it so agonizing. You can only bet money that if you don't win, you're just like, ah. Yeah. It has to be fun. Like, people get genuine gambling problems where they're like, oh, my rent relies. Like, I'd never ever put money down when I'm not worried about it.

And also, I set myself a limit at the start of the season. I'm like, that's what I've put in my account. That's what I'm betting with and anything else I'm betting with the bookies money. What does that mean, betting with the bookies money? So like, if I, let's say I've put 500 quid in my account and I've won three grand. Ah, okay. Then it's their money. Like if I put a thousand pound on the Eagles, I'm putting stakes money on the thing. And if I win, then great, I get more of Stakes money. And if I lose, okay, Stake get a bit of their money back.

Yeah, yeah. No, I don't think that's a good way to look at it. It's not my money until the end of the season. And at the end of the season, I buy a new watch. Alex, outside of having that beautiful moment with Derek, how did you enjoy the paddle tournament? Live and watching professionals? Fire sport. Watching them play?

That's not the same. It's not fun. It's not the same. When you play, you think you're them. Like when I, it's like. How, I don't know how. When you think you're them. When I play, I'm like,

oh, I'm doing the exact same thing they're doing. And then I see videos of it, and it just looks like someone's putting it in slow motion. Yes, that's what I'm like oh, I'm doing the exact same thing. They're doing and then I see videos of it And it just looks like someone's putting in slow motion It's like sex it really is like you watch videos. You're like. I'm that guy you know Oh, gosh! Oh, jeez! What is he doing in that curve? Yeah. Yeah. But it's fire though.

No, it is. It's hop out. Yeah. You gotta get into it, man. It is fire. It's just incredible. Like watching the professionals play, it's so fast and they're so technical.

Like that is a sport. And it is dope. And they stretch out the points for so long. Like there's like weird things that like climate effects have, but when it's cold, like the balls are less, the air is I guess more dense so the ball doesn't fly as much. So they can't knock it out as easily. So the points would just last forever and you get to see them, I mean just, it's just masterful the way they're doing it. It's such a weird

thing to describe to people because a lot of people don't even know what the sport is. Half of the people Think I'm talking about fucking pickleball. I'm not talking about pickleball. What's the difference? So pickleball is basically like ping-pong, but you're standing on the table. Okay so it's like a smaller tennis court the ball is like this corked thing and It's it's for basically like old people. Okay, like that's the idea of it. So when I was in school Yeah, and I mean like high school, and it's not there anymore, but the school playground, the yard, we had what was called, and I've

never seen this anywhere else in the world, but I assume it's like an iteration of either pickleball or paddling. Paddle tennis? It was short tennis it was called. Yeah. So it's exactly the same as paddling that you serve towards the back of the court and you would serve underarm. Some people call it lawn tennis or something like that. Yeah, but that was like every week, we used to get two breaks in a day. We'd get a break at 11 and another at 1. The 11 o'clock break was like 20 minutes and one was an hour. And you could buy a bat for £5, so maybe like six, seven dollars,

from the design departments of the school. And you would go home and you would paint your bat, whatever, like you put like a, you know, an LFC logo on it or whatever. And but every day we would play this. And then I got to like, sort of, you know, the age of 15 and they changed the school yard and they weren't there anymore.

And it, like that sport just left my head. Yeah. And then about a year ago, I you posting on Instagram and I'm like, that looks a bit like an enclosed short tennis. And then two separate groups of friends of mine, so there's a venue in Liverpool called Pins Social Club, and it's a bar right in the city centre, it's got bowling, table tennis, pool and all that, and I run some events there for them as well. But the guys who own and run that, they just text me one day and was like, you ever play paddle? And I was like, no, but why? And they were like, we need an extra player tomorrow. I was like, I'll fucking be there. And I went and played with them, and then my cousin, who like,

we're not as close anymore, because we've grown up and stuff, but we were like inseparable as kids, because he's only six months older than me. So we're like real close age and whatever. He texted me and he was like, did I see on your Instagram story you were playing paddle? I was like, yeah, I've had a game.

And he was like, come play with us, we play as well. So there's two separate groups. And then because of those, like the other lads that I made to it, like the podcast boys are like, I'd be up for a little game of that so I think there we go this is how it starts bro yeah and it becomes an obsession I'm telling you it's like everywhere it's sprouted up it becomes the dominant sport and yeah I just want everybody to get into

it. Do people know you out there like as a paddle ambassador? Probably more just from stand-up no that's not true anybody that's in the paddle space knows. That's why. Because there just aren't that many people with a following that are playing paddle. You know, like, every once in a while the F1 guys play or, like, a soccer guy plays, and there's this big deal in the paddle world. But you don't feel like they're playing obsessively.

You know, like, I take lessons in this shit. And the fact that people think it's pickleball is so embarrassing. Because imagine going, I have to go to my pickleball lesson. I hate when I say it on the podcast. But I've got my dementia screen and my denture fit and then my pickleball lesson. Right, he was taking us so seriously the day before.

We're in here, we're working on stuff and we brought a bunch of cookies. We're all eating cookies and he's like, I can't, I got this paddle tournament. I didn't even realize he wasn't playing. Yeah. He didn't eat cookies to watch paddle. Like that's how serious he wasn't playing. Yeah. He didn't even use the watch. That's how serious he takes it.

Can't be fat watching paddle. I'm going to feel bad. I don't know. He's trying to coach from the side. Oh, this is adorable. I'm not even paying attention to him at all. I'm speaking like broken Spanish. I'm just yelling now. I'm like heckling him a little bit. I'm asking the guys on the sidelines, like, what city

they're from in Spain and shit. And I'm just like making up things about their city. What's the strip club in Malaga? What's the strip club in Malaga? Do it for the putty cloop, you know? Bro, there's a video ball I have, as I should get the video, where like, I'm just trying to help out.

And again, I'm not the coach. I'm the captain, which is just like, me and Derek are some guys that are, you know, have some notoriety or whatever, and they're like, we'll just like me and Derek are some guys that are, you know, have some notoriety or whatever and they're like, we'll just make you guys like the captains to put some clout on the event. We're not supposed to do anything. But there's no like famous paddle players. So they've got like the comedian who does it and then fuck it, let's get a baseball player.

Friends with the guy who owns the thing is the ambassador. And but I take my captain role very seriously I'm on the sidelines with them I'm handing waters out They're from like Argentina and Spain Spain is not a third world country. It's a first world country kind of But like but so like you know the signs and they're still doing like third world like techniques to like deal with cramps and shit like they're Eating bananas like they're fucking chimpanzees on the silence Marathon guy run and grab a fucking bushel of bananas

During the match yeah, oh banana during a match is insane. No, but they just do that all the time. During the match? Yes. Oh dude, I had no clue. I thought they didn't know about the Gatorade pouch. You only have those little energy pouches that you can go get by Gatorade or something. So I'm like, get him some first world shit.

The guy's on the side, I'm like, give me a banana, a banana. I'm like, you want me to go to the grocery store? I have no fucking clue. I don't know, I'm getting some banana right now. But yeah, I'm like trying to hit them waters. They're just ignoring me. I'm like, you want me to go to the grocery store? I'm like, I'll get you a banana right now. But yeah, I'm like trying to hand him water, so they're just ignoring me. I'm like, okay. I'm just so excited.

I never saw him someplace where it's like he's one of the most famous people there and no one gave a fuck about him on the sidelines. It was all about the fucking paddle. The player didn't give a fuck. It wasn't until I started making fun of them that they started like... Oh, he started losing them. Like, yeah, because I also think there's like a language barrier.

They're not really sure who I am. One guy was calling me Derek and I was like, that's the other captain. Like, these guys have no clue, you know, what's going on. And then when I would start teasing them a little bit, I think they were like, oh, okay, he's not, he doesn't really think he's the coach, you know. In Paddle, remind me, because I've not played that many games yet So like how how's the score on work? So it's just like tennis like 1530. Okay, was it 40 and then game How many games you think you'd have to play against like the guy won? Yeah to win one game

No, there would it doesn't matter. No, he would wear out and you'd wear out you would like give up You would want to win so bad. This is how I honestly believe this to my core. Two of us could play against one of them and then he would still win. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Two of us against one and we could hit at any part of the core we want and they would still win.

And we wouldn't get a game out. As long as when we served, we would have to serve into the same spot every single time. Like, they're just unbelievable. Like, it just- I didn't realize the difference. It was that far, but it's far. No, it's crazy. Yeah, it's far.

It's just everything looks so easy, it's important. But I really hope people go check it out and play. It's amazing, it'll drive your wife crazy. I, my wife hates it. She hates how much I love it. Because you're having fun. I'm having so much fun. Yeah.

And it's interesting because when she has fun doing things that don't involve me, I'm like really happy for her. Because you get a break. Because I get to play. All roads lead to battle. But when I go to play battle, she's furious about that for some reason. And she's like, I'll play with you. And I'm like, no, you won't.

I'll be you. Yeah. It's crazy how they're built like that, right? And she's like, I'll play with you. And I'm like, no, you won't. Yeah, man, it's only club. I'll beat you. Yeah. It's crazy how they're built like that, right? Yeah. You're retarded. So you have a career that keeps you out every weekend and at night. And now you picked a sport that you're playing all the time during the day that you have

to be away for like two or three hours at a time. So now you're just never quit. When's he supposed to play paddle if he's going to be away for like two or three hours at a time. So now you're just never... When's he supposed to play paddle if he's going to be working overnight? That's a good point. But that's why she hates it. You can't pick at night time, homie. No, no, no. You can't pick at night time, homie.

That's why she hates it. When I'm playing paddle in the morning, I'm not out partying at night. So it's actually the best thing for her. Also, if I play golf, that's like four or five, six hours. I pick a sport that's only like two or three, you're welcome. I play golf as well. See? I do both. Oh. And it's great. And he has domestic disputes a lot He's got a stiff relationship in five years right now

You described your sunday and I was like, how is she okay with this? Nine o'clock pints with the boys three of golf, then we go watch the football game. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Like, does she not go, hey, you can't do this? We did Christmas days together. The next day, it's like, go away. Oh, wow. She has like, in enough?

This is fine, yeah. Oh, wow. Also, she probably working. She works in hospitality. She works in the bar. I need to get my wife a job. That's what I'm saying. He said, probably work a job.

He doesn't know what you guys are doing. He's got a gift basket. Derek Jeter, I love this guy. That's great, honey. This is how much he loves going to the pub. He didn't even finish the golf match. I don't even remember the stories. We played half, we said, fuck it.

Golfing is about drinking. You're like, didn't even finish the golf match. I don't know if you remember the stories that we played half, we said, fuck it. Golfing is about drinking. You're like, let's just stop the golf part. We were drinking on the course as well. We took teams. Oh, and you're allowed to do that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a part of it. Is golfing like, I know you're super rich now that you're a successful

big time comedian, but golf in America is like a rich person sport. It is. Is it middle class as well? It's sort of seen as that in the UK, but like I played golf when I was a teenager and when like we had fucking no, like nothing. So you can be middle class, you can be normal and play golf. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

In America that's not the case. Like a set of golf clubs for like a beginner set that aren't very good will set you back like, I don't know, 300 pounds. Well, like secondhand you'd probably get it for 100. So like you could start like with very little money. And then to get onto like a publicly owned course, you're paying like 20 pounds to play a game.

Oh, that's not bad. Like a really good course will cost you hundreds. And really good golf clubs will cost you thousands. That's the thing, in America it's like a quarter million dollars to join a golf club, it's a country club. It's a thing in America. It's like a quarter million dollars to join a golf club It's a it's no any of that or a million sometimes. Yeah, it's no way in there. Yeah, but maybe in Florida That's all around the city. It's like a different like in Florida I grew up playing golf like very middle-class goal guys where there's more land

Yeah, of course is a little bit more like middle-class friends that live on golf courses Like very regular lives and they're on like the 18th and like soon. I want to play that course Oh, yeah, that's what my brother does every week Yeah, I have them horrible but I love the idea that there's like projects surrounding the goal There was one course where it's just a links course So it's just like like nine holes or whatever, and it was just in the hood. And then you would just get random people going to play. That's fine. And they wouldn't really take care of the greens, it was just all overgrown and shit. So a lot of the publicly owned courses in like Liverpool are a bit shit and then there's like the middle ones, the middle ones are normally the ones that I'll

play and they're good, but I've played like good courses a handful of times. And like what these like professionals are playing on, like I seen a video the other week and it was a, it was like, do you think you could win the U S open? If you started on the green, that's a great, that's a green, uh, what's it called? Okay. And the answer is no, no, not even close. Do you know what he's asking? Right. Yeah.

But like the green is close to the hole, right? The green is the patch with the shortest. So you couldn't win? The green could be between the size of this room and four times the size of this room, depending on the hole. Oh, okay. That would be a great fucking matchup. You get the best golfer in the world and then you get me.

Well, you actually play golf, but me and Al, guys who don't play golf, and we start on the green and they start at the tee. And we play 18. They beat you by... Between 30 and 50 shots. And I might be being really nice as well. But no, but we played mini golf though. Exactly. We might have an event.

I'm good at that punch punch shit. Yeah. The punch punch shit. Until you can read a green. So like the best course I've ever played on was about six months ago with a friend of mine called Thomas. It's called The Shire. It's about an hour outside of London.

And there's a practice green at the start of the course for you to just like practice putting before you tee off. And I dropped the golf ball from at just a height and it just went its own way and then rolled off the green. And if you tap it, it will go, but these pro golfers can look at a green and see if they dropped the ball here exactly where it's going to end up. And that's what you're playing against. And you just be looking at a green going right, I'm here, the holes there. I'll hit it that way.

But what you actually need to do is hit it over there so that it does that. And they know how to do that. So you'd go that way and then you'd be, then you'd be off the green. No, I'd figure that out. Tour greens would be even harder if you're playing against actual tour players. They're playing on greens that are faster than what you played. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like ice, which is good grass. I was talking to one of these guys. Turf, I played on turf. A lot of guys that play tennis are now kind of playing a paddle. And there's this one guy, Willie Conyas was his name. He beat Federer like three times. He was like number eight of the world at one point in time.

And he was saying how the game of tennis changed. I had no clue that they were changing the greens. Like they were making it slower, making it faster, and they're changing the game to make it more friendly for TV, essentially. Changing the density of the ball. They made it green. They changed the color,

but they're also changing like the size of it. Oh really? So I think what happened was, there was a time like you ever seen that thing that picture of the of what the what the grass tennis courts call it I guess this grass lawn yeah lawn so what the lawn tennis court and how they've changed over the years like which patches are the most used up so back in the day when the game was at the net you would see it all chopped up and now the game is almost never at the net they're both behind the line and they're both ripping it and it's because they day when the game was at the net, you would see it all chopped up. And now the game is almost never at the net. They're both behind the line and they're both ripping it.

And it's because they've changed the game to make it more exciting to extend the volleys. When we were growing up, the guys, it would just be a hard serve because the greens were so fast and then maybe one or two shots point went in. So they changed the game to make it more enjoyable for TV. I don't think that this is a coincidence at all

outside of the Williams sisters being like superstars. The woman's game picks up at the same time that the men's game is just serve and then done. Oh, interesting. Because the women don't have the power. Yeah. So the rallies are much longer and the game is more interesting. Watching women is better than watching the men.

It's so much better. And like the women technically get paid more. Wait, what do you, oh Oh, because they play less. Yeah, so the prize money for men's and women's women's is the same, but men is best of seven sets and women is best of five. So look at the greens. That's right. Or it might be three.

Look how much of the area where you would volley has eroded. And this is in 2024. There's almost nothing. Same exact course. And everybody's just behind the line. That's interesting. They do this with a lot of sports. Like baseball, they eliminated the shift.

You used to have like the dead ball era of basketball in the early 2000s when they allowed. What was that? That was when they allowed, they basically like allowed defenses to be different with like hand checking things to stop Shaq. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They had like the hack a Shaq rule that changed.

Like this happens to make the sport better. Quark baths and stuff. Like that was the whole thing. Well, that was you never that was like, you're not supposed to do it. But like baseball has changed a lot to make it. But you should. Because then the guys end up making more money. And that's the thing about these sports like tennis is like,

we know about the top, you know, 20 guys that are making lots of money. The other like 400 or 500 are not making lots of money. They're like pros at the local country clubs or whatever. So you want the prize money to go up. But you should manipulate the game. I'd be kinda pissed though, right? Like if you get great at a game then they change and you're like what the fuck?

I asked him about that. And he goes, because I think there was a moment where his skill set works for what was happening. And I think he could really, I think it was what's called like a pusher, where basically you could defend, you just get to every single ball, you just exhaust him. You just get to every single ball, you just exhaust him. And then the game change, it might have moved out of his skill set, but he's like, yeah,

you got to be able to adapt. Like, that's the nature of this. Yeah. I mean, if you're going to be great at any sport, you can't be great at that tiny bit of the sport. And it's like, oh, well, you've sort of made it harder for me to use that. It's like, well, then you ain't a tennis player, you were a that guy. Yeah.

Like you've got to be good at the whole, you got to be able to get around the whole thing. Yeah. It's like with football, like the game changes every sort of like five to 15 years, like a new coach comes in and is like, well... What about it? They cry a little less. I ain't playing like that. We'll play like this. At the minute, the game's very like possession based for the top teams that we're going to keep the ball until you make a little mistake and the wrong player runs with us and then we'll find that guy. But like that's about, I think that's about to change again.

Like pace is not quite as important now for the best teams because when when there's a game of football and you've got like the full pitch and you know a team who's bad against a really good team will just line up right in front of their own goal so there's very little space in between the lines for them to find so like this team's fast players don't get to utilize their pace very much because it's like they neutralize the pace where are we gonna run from crowd in the box right so then the best teams want the best technically gifted players because they can find passes spaces in between this rather than trying to run through it yeah yeah I stopped that crying shit but when they

get here yeah yeah they got faker yeah yeah I don't know how you curb that like like do they do like they need to do more yellows for guys that don't actually that's what they do in the NBA. You get you get a flagrant for flopping. Yeah, that's what they need to do. You get booked for diving in football. Yeah. So rarely, though. Yeah. But because for it to be a dive, it has to be you weren't touched and you're faking.

But if they touch them at all, it's like, oh, maybe it did hurt them that much. Maybe he's just this guy. Yeah. Yeah, maybe you're a pussy I have a couple questions. Yeah mind. I really like British comedians. I'm like a big fan of British comedians Is there anyone new and like sort of upcoming that you're like, oh you should check him out We spoke about Jamie last time we were here the guy who's autistic brother beat him up We spoke about Jamie last time we were here, the guy whose autistic brother beats him up. Oh, yeah. Dr. Catford? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dr. Catford. So Jamie is like well on the rise and he's not got any

stand-up available online. All of his clips are podcasts and his idea with that is you've got to see me live or you don't get to ever see what I do. And he's very different on stage and he's very aggressive with the audience it's almost clowning. There's substance to it, it's not just clowning, it's stand up as well but like he'll get right in audience's faces and it's you know there's levels to it and he's like I don't think that translates to video so I'm not doing it and he's just sold a lot of tickets on a tour. That's dangerous. He's doing real well. I'm not in the clubs as much at the

minute because I've been touring for a good few years and I've took a little break since I put the special out. I'm starting again now. So I can only really tell you about... Do you know what, actually? There's a lad who's a friend of mine called Elliot Steele. Elliot's a good mate with a couple of US comics because he's really good mates with Daniel Sloss who's got like a career out here as well and stuff. Elliot I met when he was 17 and I thought he was fine. I was like, ah yeah it's fine. He's a good friend of mine but I was like, he's fine. He's not a great comic but he's fine. And then about 18 months ago, maybe a year ago, I was in London for some like work stuff and I was like, I'm gonna

a year ago I was in London for some like work stuff and I was like I'm gonna just go to the comedy club and do some spots and I had to follow him and I watched him and I was like oh you've been working really hard and he's just an absolute and he's not just he's not just killing with like easy stuff he's really he's in like a really young, liberal London comedy club and he's really provoking them, but in a really brilliant way. So that was really good for me to see that, because it was a friend of mine who, to be honest, I was like, oh, I just think he's okay when I met. But he was a fucking kid, you know what I mean?

He was 17. And he's now mid-20s and he's going to be very, very, very good. Yeah, I think those two, for me, they're the first two that have come to me head. I'm actually I'm curious the amount of times you come to US or you're here multiple times a year, is there anything about America or Americans that still surprises you? No, not surprises. I mean, I feel like I've got a pretty good handle on it.

Like, I also feel like I see things coming and stuff and yeah, not particularly surprising, no. That's kinda nice. Like now you're like, oh, you're fit in. But even going to Texas, you're not like, whoa, this is not what we know. No, but I feel like. Oh, okay, here's something that might,

maybe you can explain that is along the same thing. Okay. Robbie Williams. Yeah. Chrissy Dee was asking me about this. Look, he was super famous. That's a great point. Who's Robbie Williams?

Okay. So here's Robbie Williams. You haven't even heard any of this yet? So Robbie Williams did an iconic episode of MTV Cribs. He had a song where he was like taking off his skin and like his muscles. Do you remember the music video for that? where he was like taking off his skin and like his muscles. Do you remember the music video for that? And he's just like pop sensation from the UK that has on paper Everything that you need to succeed in America. And for whatever fucking reason he just didn't cross over It's yeah, but because he's very very very British. So there's a British like British things

We like Idris Elba, we like James Bond. We like Ricky Gervais. We like Ricky Gervais. I can't tell you why. I don't know whether it's just I can't get my finger on it, but I wouldn't expect Robbie Williams to be big here. And I know that he isn't now because of this movie that's come out.

So he was a pop star. What is the movie? Okay, go, break down Robbie Williams, then we'll get into the movie. He was a pop star. What is the movie? OK, go. Breakdown, then we'll get to the movie. He's a pop star. He was in a boy band called Take That. He was seen as like the entertainer, like the one a lot of women fancy because he was like the naughty boy of the group.

He wasn't the talented one of the group. The talented one was the lead singer who wrote all the songs called Garry Barlow. And then when Take That sort of, you know, had that boy band thing where one of them's gonna go and do their own thing and they're gonna break up and whatever, Robbie Williams became like the guy. He was the solo star. Sony gave him like 80 million for like three albums and that was like back in the 90s or the early 90s. So it was a big fucking deal. So like he was like the guy. Big tours and very famous and like you could stop anybody on the streets of the UK and be like do you know Robbie Williams? And they'd say yeah, like he's that level of famous. He hasn't like been massively in the public eye for a few years because he

got 80 million with three albums so he's had a sit down. But there's a movie that's come out this year and it's called Better Man or something like that what yeah and it's it's his sort of life and career story but for no apparent reason he is a monkey in it nobody else is Nobody else says. Two hours, your ass is mine! To be honest, I don't wanna rag, so let's take it from the top. DJ, cause you make me feel so... So you know the song? Of course, I know Robbie Williams. I've never heard that, but this is... No way.

But why? Bro, the entire film is told from the perspective that he's a chimp. And then is anybody acknowledging the fact that he's a... No. It's never blow us off once. No that he's a chimp. And then is anybody acknowledging the fact that he's a chimp? No, it's never brought up once. No one else is a chimp. This is either genius or fucking idiotic. We're talking about it. So the movie bombed here. Oh it came out already. So Universal bought the rights to it in America and these numbers will not be accurate but it's essentially like they paid a hundred million for the rights and they got like five million back. Oh I thought it made like two hundred dollars like I thought it was like and I'm not even

being facetious I thought it was like less than a thousand dollars opening weekend. But it seems like that's part of the marketing but did it do well over there? It's done fine. I mean cinema cinema is not doing very well anyway. Like the big movies that like are being pushed and not doing like, I know a few people who've seen it and being like, it's what you think it is. Is the movie good? Like is the story good? I haven't fucking seen it. It's Robbie Williams' life story and he's a fucking The opening weekend was $18,000. Holy shit. Yeah, 0.9% of it's total gross. Yeah, it's now pulled in 1.2 million, I think.

They took a risk. You know? It's such a like... Sometimes you take a risk, man. You know what it is? You know, like when... I imagine you've had meetings like this where like you meet with TV people And now because everything's like no one's watching movies and stuff. Robbie Williams has gone in and gone

Hey, I'm ready to tell my life story and they're like, yeah Robbie. It's just not new. It's not interesting He's like what if I'm a monkey? We need something interesting make me a fucking monkey then and the idea is like I'm less evolved than other people like I'm more primitive Or something I think the idea of it is he's just like you know the whole old adage of like Oh, you're just like a dancing monkey like you're not like You're just like you're not a person you're just a fucking go do the thing for us. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's what it is And does he become a real boy at the end? I don't think so Think that's what it is. And does he become a real boy at the end? I don't think so

It's beautiful actually then Like you know, okay. So when are you back in town Adam? I know you leave tomorrow. I think I'll probably come back into town in like April or May and do some more spots and some spots or shows have you toured here actually I haven't told her yet so you have any interest in doing like traditional club weekends and like doing the American comic thing probably not okay what I would like to do out here is I really like the relationship I have with the US right now in that I've done the sort of guest spots and the trials of the clubs and when I'm coming out they'll throw me up and that's nice.

And then because of people like you and other guys who've had me on the podcast and stuff I'm slowly sort of like I did like Tommy Pope and Chris's podcast and there's comments on it going off. Stuff like that. Yeah it was funny they're really good guys. Shout out both of them, man. It's so awesome. So I like that. And eventually I'd like to tour out here in that. I can come out and do a few shows in a few cities. But also I just really love, like, I love being in the States generally. I love Nashville. Big country music guys, you know. I love Nashville. But I love New York. I just love being here. It's the best.

And like being here for like a week, jumping up and doing some sports, writing in the day, going to, like I've got my places now where I go for pizza and for a sandwich and for a bit of coffee. Like I know what I like and where it is. I feel like I've got a good, and there's so much more to this, if I obviously haven't seen it.

But like I can come to New York and not even get maps out on my phone and know where I'm going and know when I'm gonna be places and stuff. Yeah. And uh... It's a grid system. I really like it. The British conversion is tough though, I get it.

It's a whole set. What's one street in town? No, I think you should spend some more time here, man. I think it'd be cool. I also think it'd just be a fun experience to do like a random improv or funny bone. You know, like just do a weekend of five shows, maybe while you're building an hour, and just experience that here.

I would definitely like to do that at some point, yeah. I like, I think. It's like in the same way that like American comedians think about doing the Edinburgh Festival. Yeah, this is like a very traditional British thing. I like to take my show there, but to me, when I think of American comedy, I don't think of it in the big arenas or even theaters.

I think of it like a fucking mall comedy club, and you're doing five shows, and you're at a shitty hotel, and you're spending your days looking for a diner to go eat. You're really selling this. No. No, it's like, I don't know, it creates some awesome shit. You get to see real America too. I truly believe that and I do want to see a lot more of the states.

I really, really do. So yeah, maybe. That might be sort of, something I do in the next sort of few years. Definitely. That'll be fun. Well listen, we'll always be here, we'll be supporting. Thank you so much for coming on, man. Thank you, man.

Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man.

Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man.

Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man.

Thank you, man. Thank you, man.