Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - P0RN ECONOMICS (ft. P0rn Star Silvia Saige)

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, Kaz, are joined by special guest and porn star Silvia Saige to discuss: the real way porn stars make money, Kawhi going to LA, Andrew's intern cumming in his shower, and much more! INDULGE!!!

What's up everybody, welcome to another episode of Flamin' or Two, No Easy Buckets, Analysis by Assholes, Water Cooler Commentary for your sports needs. My name is Andrew Schultz, okay? I'm here with Akash Singh, Real Life Cast. We got Alex Media and Eddin on the ones and twos. Very special announcement, special announcement, special announcement, okay? Now, the second half of this episode, okay, I'm not sure the exact minute's gonna start

because we're recording the first half right now. That being said, the second half of this episode, Kaz, please be quiet. The second half of this episode, gotta get through this fucking thing without Kaz. I know Kaz excited to talk. Let me fucking get through the intro. Shut the fuck up.

Holy shit. You're ruining it god damn. Shut the fuck up. It's a good episode today. Holy shit. You're ruining it. Lots of things. You're ruining the good episode by talking. I'll let you know when you can talk. Okay? All right, white man. Second, exactly.

Let me use my white privilege to make this shit work. Okay? All right? Listen, I need you to just be quiet. Okay? Just walk out on this family so we can get this podcast started. So we can get this podcast started. Let me be the single black mother raised in this podcast.

With all of her power. Where my black queen's at? Okay, we have an amazing guest who's on the second half of this podcast. Porn star Sylvia Sage is on the second half of this podcast. Porn star Sylvia Sage is here. Second half of this podcast. Breaking down the porn game in a wild, wild way. She said something that I thought

was absolutely interesting. She goes, 80% of income from porn stars... Save it, save it. No. Do I know what I'm doing? I mean, I guess. Shut the fuck up, you two. Jesus Christ. Like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing? I mean, I guess. Shut the fuck up, you two. Jesus Christ.

Like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, bro. Like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Why are you so angry? Save it. Motherfuckers might not know who Sylvia Sage is. America won this past weekend. You'd be happy. Yo, cut that mic, please.

Can you cut that mic? I can't, like, you're ruining our own show. Jeez, white man. Real talk. Yeah, the white man knows how to get shit done, okay? We really do. So let me get get shit done. Okay? We really do. So let me get the shit done. Okay?

Jesus Christ. So Sylvia Sage is here. She said 80% of porn star's income comes from outside of porn. Porn is the advertisements. Okay? And if you want to know what they really make their money doing, then you just listen to the second half. It might blow your fucking mind. Okay?

That being said, also another cool announcement. We're splitting up the YouTube channel that you guys, some of you are watching on this right now. So we're going to have a Flickr 2's own, very own YouTube. Brilliant is going to have its own YouTube. And we're going to keep most of the stand-up, well, all the stand-up stuff, inside inside jokes and dropping in on the youtube that you're currently watching right now we're going to have links for all the youtube so you guys can go over there subscribe spread the word tweet it out let everybody know um and uh besides that those are our big big announcements well there's one massive announcement but i can't say just yet i just need to make sure the ink is dry and then we're

going to tell you about that one but i'm very very excited about that one uh that being said i think it's time to to start the show guys now akash and kaz no shows this weekend we can't promote shit we'll do a little later let's get right into it now we're allowed to talk all right now you guys are allowed to talk now so so here's the thing we started the flagrant uh to patreon episoderant to Patreon episode last week with your flagrant thought of the week. Flagrant thought of the week. I like starting out with a little bit of flagrancy. Get the ball rolling in the right direction. Set the mood, et cetera.

Okay? So flagrant thought of the week. This was my flagrant thought of the week. It was about 95 degrees. I think it was last Wednesday. Okay. I'm fucking, I'm dying out there. It is crazy.

I'm walking down the street And all of a sudden I see this girl Walking And And she's got like Just you know Burn marks all over her body

Like it looked like Maybe like 70% of her Was burned And I Was it bubbly? All I could think about I was just looking at her And I was like

Do you think She at all During this day Has thought Man it's hot as fuck outside Oh god Was that she at all during this day has thought man is hot as fuck outside or is this feel like air conditioning like do you think that change on people who are like He's a little glistened, isn't he? Probably slap some suntan lotion over it. Like, oh, this is great. That's it.

Like, do you think that changes your idea of hot? You think she likes something on people who are like, it's hot outside. And she'd be like, is it? Oh, is it? What you know about hot? I'm a motherfucker that knows about being hot. I'm going to show y'all hot. Oh, is it burning up out there to you?

Taking everybody's, like, super fucking angry thoughts and be like, oh, it's burning up here. You want to talk about burning up, bitch? I'll show you burning up, motherfucker. So that was my favorite thought of the week. I'm walking down the street and I was just looking at that girl, man. I felt, one, I felt bad complaining about myself,

but like, I was waiting to just see like a look of like exasperation or something on her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Is that flagrant?

Is that fucked up? Yeah. It's a little bit fucked up. That's my life. Akash, what you got? You know, I think we need R. Kelly back man What was your thinking?

I was just in the car This morning Driving back From DC with my girl Right And she asleep And I got Pandora on And R. Kelly came on

And I was just like Yo it was the Fucking Ignition remix And I was like This is This is one of the best songs Of that decade. At the very least

of the 2000s. We need this guy back. Pandora doesn't give a fuck, huh? No, I really don't. Pandora doesn't give a fuck. Pandora doesn't give a fuck.

She knew my girl was asleep. You remember that fake Spotify band that R. Kelly, they tried with R. Kelly? Like, it only just shot up his sales like 40% or something. Son,

let's cancel, cancel R. Kelly. Oh, like if you can't, yeah, yeah, I mean. He don't own his masters. Is he even in jail? Cast point, cast point is out Yeah He don't own his masters Is he even in jail? Cast point is out he don't own his masters

Anytime you listen to him you're not putting any money in his pocket Somebody else is getting paid for it He only makes his money off of Tarn He can't Tarn no more because everyone thinks I don't see R. Kelly live You can take your girl you might not get her back Nah she's old enough There's one concept you should feel very comfortable Taking your girl, you might not get her back. Nah, she's old enough.

There's one concert you should feel very comfortable taking your girl to. It is an R. Kelly concert. There is no way in hell he is taking your old ass legal girlfriend. Okay, your daughter? Be careful. Okay? Don't have your daughter on your shoulders during an R. Kelly concert. That's just putting a spotlight on him.

My God. Kelly's up there singing bump and grind, making eye contact. I don't see nothing wrong. Age ain't nothing but a number. She's got a pacifier in her mouth like, what's he talking about? You've got to be old enough to have your shots, right?

Seems like you're ready. Fuck out of here, R. Kelly. God damn it. Okay, Cash, what you got for us? All right, so I was watching the USA Women's Finals, like a bunch of other people that were watching it this weekend. Gay? Son. And I'm watching it, and it speaks to me differently now

because I'm going to have a little girl. I'm watching it, and I'm like, damn. They won the gold medal, and each player gets a bonus of $250,000, right? And these bitches still complain. And the men get a million dollars, right? Yeah. So I'm watching. I flip over the channel.

I flip it over to like, I think like Cheddar Esports or whatever. Yeah. There's a little girl playing to a sold out arena playing fucking video games. Right? I would much rather Have my little girl Be the bitch In esports In like Fortnite Like whatever the fucking game

That comes out the next one Like the way this sport has grown Why would you have your kids play soccer Knowing the best soccer players in the world Don't get shit Yeah and you know she's getting pressed by them lesbians too Oh son Your daughter gonna get pressed by rap and all.

Oh, son. She got raped almost in her name. She gets raped and no, in her name. That'll tell you everything you need to know about what happens during halftime. That's what dudes be saying.

Shout out to that. That's what dudes be saying when they look at her. Rap and no. Rape and no. Rap and no. Rape and no. Rap and no. I mean, shout out to them. They balled out. But the fact that, was it their fourth gold medal? Son, they're playing against women from other countries that have full-time jobs.

Yeah. This is not fair competition. There's domination. There's domination. Of course. But what I'm saying is, America's the only country, maybe another country or two, where like the women get to focus their full life on soccer. Right. That is their full and only goal is playing soccer, getting better at soccer.

They give all their attention to soccer. Right. Like these other girls play soccer and then still have to go home and they have to cook their husband dinner Because he has a real job that's paying for their life. Look at the teams that they're playing. It's like France Dutch You think the UK? Real fucking like that Like the real Netherlands whatever like the real bad bitches of the country are doing actual shit. They have to.

They have families to raise. Lesbians aren't even legal there, so all the women have kids. And soccer's been around forever. And people still like half of the women's national team can walk down the aisle right now. I wouldn't know what it is. The men get a million if they win. Yeah. They get a million dollar bonus.

Men never win. Exactly. That's the hustle. That's why men get paid more because they win. Yeah. They get a million dollar bonus. Men never win. Exactly. That's the hustle. That's why men get paid more because they know they're not going to. Hey, men, if you win, you'll get $100 billion each. It's a bullshit thing. The women always make more because they're the ones who are going to win. It's made up.

It's made up. They don't make more, though. No. They don't make any. In the end? They have the potential to make more. Yeah, because they're going to win. And the men are never going to win.

100%. You're 100% right about that. And just to put an end to this whole pay controversy with women's soccer, which is absolute nonsense. Pay the men less. No, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. So just so people understand here, the women are overpaid. This is 100% fact.

What you get paid on is a percentage of revenue, right? The men get paid based on 9% of the revenue, okay? The women get paid based on 13% of their revenue. So if they really wanted equal pay, you would reduce the women's pay. Just female soccer doesn't bring in as much money as male soccer. That's why you don't get paid as much. What I don't understand,

people, what I don't understand, especially the women, is like, this is America, right? If we can make money on something, we will.

People make money on prisons here. You think that they're actively trying to not make money on soccer? If there was money in female soccer, please believe

you would be making it. Yeah. But the reality is there isn't. Yeah. Yeah. Simple as that. Let me ask you a question, though.

Is this based on the revenue they make from their soccer league or from the national shit? No, no. From the World Cup. From FIFA, right? Yeah, FIFA.

Okay, they get 13% of World Cup revenue. Yeah. Okay. Because the reality is it might be popular here, but nobody gives a fuck about female soccer

anywhere outside of America in the first world. We only care every four years. Exactly. The only reason we care is because our men suck. Well, no, no. The only reason we care

is because the USA is on the jersey, right? Because once you start putting Salt Lake on the jersey, nobody watches. I was even saying if the men's national team were dominated,

the women would be like, okay, that's cool. Like, we kind of like women's basketball in the Olympics, but like... We support women's curling. Anything that men, anything's basketball in the Olympics, but like... We support women's curling. Anything that men, anything that America is good at, if it's...

We just love America. We're private people. It's that simple. If you put USA on the jersey and we're fighting, fighting, but we're going up against another country, we're going to root for it. I'll say the rooting is exaggerated greatly because our men suck and our women are the only ones who win. I think it doesn't mean anything.

You don't? I'm dead ass. I swear to God. I think it's a... Every four years years we get the opportunity to be better than another country and america loves that right right so it's like here's our opportunity to do it because we'll watch any sport right as long as the u.s is good at it we don't we know rapinoe i don't know a single fucking curler and no one in this room knows we're not good at it no if we were good at it, you would know.

Like, I knew gymnasts. I know female gymnasts. Yeah, we know swimmers. We know swimmers, right? Like, it's insane that we know these fucking sports. What was the other guy that wasn't Michael Phelps? The one that- Oh, the dummy.

Yeah, he's like borderline- Yeah, with Lochte, Ryan Lochte. We know that motherfucker. Gabby Douglas. Nobody gives a shit. Was the- Simone Biles. Simone Biles.

I know ones from back in the day Dominique Mochiano Yeah I know Dominique Dawes Dominique Dawes Dominique Dawes Dominique Dawes Dominique Dawes

You said it recently Where's R. Kelly at Dominique Dawes are bad R. Kelly was the biggest gym fan bro If you are like a pedophile Trying to be on a straight and narrow You just gotta become a fan of female sports Where they mature younger.

Right? Like female tennis. They're all like 16. Coco. He's in love with the Coco. What's her name? Coco. She's this 15-year-old black American tennis player.

Yeah, she's killing that Wimbledon right now. She was doing great. She beat Venus Williams in the first round. Oh, the Asian chick. No, she's black. No, black Asian girl. No, black Asian girl. You're thinking of the Haitian one.

Haitian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's this other girl who just bowled and started like this week. This girl is like, a black Asian girl. You're thinking of the Haitian one. Haitian, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's this other girl who just bowled and started like this week. This girl is like, yeah, 15 years old. She beat me

and she's like a big sensation this tournament. We'll see how long it lasts. Yeah, we'll root for anybody, bro. We root for America. If you make it, if you do well, we'll get behind you fencing.

Remember when we pretended to give a fuck about short track speed skating because Apollo fucking Apollo Ono. Apollo Ono. Yeah, Apollo Ono was whooping ass with like, oh, let's do it. Pretends to give a fuck about short track speed skating cuz Apollo fucking These Koreans again, you're the only person I know actually like short You like NASCAR at all which y'all don't but if you like NASCAR at all, which y'all don't, but if you like NASCAR at all, and you're gay,

show your guys speed skating. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's just NASCAR with more crashes. Yeah. That's all it is. Because that's all you watch NASCAR for.

And spandex. So yeah, absolutely. So if you're gay, absolutely. Yeah, it's sick. Dude, it's so fucking cool, man. It's so Asian. They're all dressed as ninjas and instead of like swords in their hands, they got them on their feet and shit.

It's so sick. They look like fucking Power Rangers. Real talk. They're just shit like thousand of them. But that's what we do. We front. Every fucking Olympics or every one of these events, we front. You know what it is, though?

Because I think people look at soccer as such a big binary thing where it's like, oh, it's the world's game. It is the world's game. at soccer, it's such a big binary thing where it's like, oh, it's the world's game. It is the world's game. Yeah, but like here, it's like nobody's watching women's soccer every night when it's on. Like in whatever league that's on or whatever.

I want them to win. The reality is, if we could make money on it, we would. It's very simple. Stop acting like there's a conspiracy. There's two things to believe. You either believe, one, there's a government conspiracy stealing money from women's soccer so the girls don't get paid, or two, men make more money so they get paid more, which is more believable.

You just answered that question yourself. I mean, that's fine. You know me, bro. Like, I've always been, like, a proponent. I always stood up for WNBA. I thought it was dope, whatever. But, like, facts are facts, bro. Like, I've seen these arenas.

Like, they don't, the Liberty don't play in the Garden no more. Like, they gotta play in Westchester. They didn't even have a contract until this. ESPN bought up the remainder of their season for the women's MLS or whatever. But before that, there was no TV rights. They're up there. To be fair, it gets better.

You gotta have a league. Women's basketball had the same problem. They're getting better. Clearly, it's not the same money the NBA is getting. Obviously, it would probably never be like that. But you gotta take steps. The Big 3 just eclipsed the WNBA in viewership.

Yeah, the Big 3's lit this year, though. Listen, I'm not saying it's not. I'm not saying it's not. It's compelling basketball. Eclipsed the WNBA in viewership. So, again, ladies, put your money where your mouth is. You know what I mean? You want women's sports to get paid a lot? Go watch it.

Go watch it. That's what... Yo. Y'all watch... That's an effect. That's what I said. I was like, yo, if y'all want to support it, y'all got to watch it. Oh, it's a cause and effect now.

Oh, it's a cause and effect. Gotcha. Well, we're on Flickr too, so it depends. Here's the reality, right? It's like there is maybe the highest grossing show on television right now is a show called The Bachelorette or the bachelor my girl watches it everybody's girl watches it everybody loves the bachelor girls love it yeah it is a competition show yeah that is on once a week and people go fucking crazy for it they lose it and

there is if you realize i don't know if if you've noticed from watching but it's it's a basically a giant integrated marketing scheme. Right? Every little thing on the show is like. Everything is sold. Starbucks coffee. I need this before I go out on my date. And it is genius. Right?

It's a genius. They brand the fuck out of that show. And it makes tons of money. Of course. It's as simple as this. Ladies, if you watched soccer as much as you watch The Bachelorette, they will get paid just as much as these NBA players or these professional soccer players.

But you watch soccer as much as you watch, I don't know. Let me tell you something. What's a show that people don't watch a lot? That people don't watch? Are you guys good over there? What's going on? Son, my flagrant take of the week is bring back pesticides and all the shit. Oh, is somebody biting you over there?

Why do you dress like Moe Harkless? What the fuck you got that headband on for? I rode my bike today. I was about to say, you got a 505 after this? I just keep bucking the shit out of me, and I can't stop thinking about it. Oh, God, yeah. They were going crazy with the Purell. They look like fucking crackheads.

Yeah, you got good skin. That's why it's sweet. But why would you Purell it? That's just going to eat your skin before they go and eat it. I can't get my mind off it right now. Say again?

Like, anything that would work. Look, it's right there. So why don't you kill that shit, son? Kill that shit. Son, we're not going to have another Breaking Bad episode. No, no, no, we're good. Okay.

All right, so anyway. But yeah, I'd rather have my daughter play eSports. But you know what bothers me, bro? Oh, that's right. That was that's right you know what bothers me about this shit a lot of money in that shit the fucking girls on this soccer team right oh boy they're not stupid right they must have sat down with a lawyer they must have sat down with fifa they must have sat down with these different organizations and bodies and said so what's the deal why do we make less and they just tell them the truth they just go i got you

yeah i've seen it they just tell them the truth they go hey we only pay you less because you guys make less money right and then they take that information and they know the truth and they keep pushing this fucking lie. They're not ignorant. I don't mind someone who's ignorant because you don't know better. I don't mind. A lot of these women who think about the pay gap, they truly believe there's a

wage gap based on their gender and someone looks at their tits and goes, I'm going to pay you less. And they truly believe that. I accept that. You're fighting for something you truly believe to be real. But when somebody comes to you and goes, this is the math we're actually paying you more percentage wise than the men get you know like you guys just don't bring in the revenue i'm sorry when have women ever listened to facts i just don't know where we are in the world totally totally so it's like all we got to do is like the fact that you know the truth and you're still pushing a lie.

I got to question your character now. All right. To be fair. I got to question your character. You're a liar. To be fair, Nike has paid them more. Like, you don't even need to know economics to know. Like, if you see a bunch of fucking billboards of some team in Times Square and by the garden, all this other shit.

Like, you know Nike's shelling out a shit ton of money to make sure you're getting more. Bro, I did not notice these hoes, ever. Nike is trying to help make up for that gap. Right. But there's only so much FIFA could actually do. You don't think it's possible that, like, they're continuing to perpetuate this just so, you know, it's more of a symbolic thing for for page gap management oh yeah it's a symbolic thing right in their pockets isn't it inconvenient when symbolism

goes straight into your bank account no i mean like i'll i'll think you're gonna fight for symbolic women's rights pay me more because the idea of women's rights matters to me so if i could get paid more on behalf of all women i think i think're going to miss my point. My point was, you said it. They're not stupid. They know how much the wage gap is when you're with FIFA. What Akash is saying is that he goes, they're virtue signaling, but they're not doing it for virtue. They're doing it for financial gain.

I think that's what you were trying to say, right? So it's like, how convenient is it that all of a sudden gender equality is necessary when it's time for you to get paid yeah you know yeah like it's like these people who got beats from property that they're like global warming is up everything it's like no you just want to keep your porch you know what i mean your house is about to be part of the atlantic what i'm saying is though when it comes to like a brand like nike you could... Nike don't give a fuck. No, just listen to me. Son, how do you support the NFL and Kaepernick? You don't give a fuck.

Alright, so... You believe they do? I'm not saying they give a fuck. I'm just saying, like, if ratings are up because of a women's soccer game and you're running all these ads and all this other shit, you have to pay them more. You just have to. Because you're running a shit ton of ads. You're taking out commercial space. You can only use their likenesses without... You can't use their likenesses without paying them a certain amount of money.

Right. So whatever they were getting last year, they're absolutely getting more this year in some way, shape, or form. Right. I'm just saying when it comes to FIFA, you can't do that because you said it. They only bring in this much of all these. You get a percentage. You make what you keep. What they make, to be honest with you, I'm only talking about what they're getting paid.

I'm not talking about sponsorship because that's something totally on the side. That's something different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just talking about these bullshit statistics that they keep bringing up. It's adorable. They do this thing. It's so cute. They do this thing where like between 2016 and now, the women's world.

It's so cute. It is. Between 2016 and now, the women's, what is it? U.S. women's team has made more money than the men, right? It's like, oh, that's convenient. That's convenient that you pick it up the year after the men's World Cup. Isn't that funny how you just skip out the men's World Cup in that calculation you got right there? That's so funny. Do you want to get paid more, little girl?

That's so cute. Anyway. So whatever. We don't have to spend too much time on it. It's not normal. It's such a funny word. Oh, man. So, Kawhi.

Oh, yeah. Doc Rivers is coaching the guy who cheated on his daughter. Yeah, but if he cared about his daughter, she would have never fucked NBA players. Let's be honest here. If your daughter is out here fucking guys that you coach against, she's clearly out here with a grievance against you. That's the equivalent of your son being a goth. He's just trying to piss you off.

You have a daddy issue that you're trying to piss off, so you're fucking. Go to hell, dad. I'm going to swallow all the dicks. Real talk. Real talk. And if anything, this is Doc getting his daughter back. It's just like, oh, you thought he was out of your life. You thought.

No, he's coming right back. And guess what? You wanted my attention guess who's gonna get my attention now remember that guy you were fucking so you could get my attention well now he's gonna get some attention we got something in common yo so we always thought though real quick i always thought doc was like soft and he's coaching his fucking kid austin rivers remember he had that like banner up and i was like this doc is too much. Then he traded that motherfucker. Then he traded for Paul George. He didn't trade him.

He wasn't the president at that time. He wasn't the president? Yeah, not at all. Okay, because I thought this guy was a little sociopathic. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, he's sociopath. He's president now, though, right? So he had nothing to do with Paul George either.

Jerry, Jerry, the logo, man. The logo. This motherfucker, we got to talk about him. We're going to talk about the logo in a second, but let's keep talking about this. This is fun. Okay. So now, okay, so how about this? How about you're at a job where they traded away your son and then gave you the guy that

fucked, that cheated on, fucked your daughter and then cheated on her. Right. What a job that is. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm confused. The president, so he had no say in this, in either one of these moves, right? He was the coach at the time. Yeah, but he couldn't make the personnel moves.

Correct. He didn't make, so. I mean, yeah. Personnel moves were made where these moves, right? He was the coach at the time. Yeah, but he couldn't make the personnel moves. Correct. He didn't make the... So personnel moves were made where, one, they trade your son away from you. Right. Two, they trade the guy who not only fucked your daughter for a long time, also cheated on her with a stripper. Right. And now you just got to make this work.

To be fair, a lot of players in the league have fucked his daughter. Really? Wow. That's the rumor on the streets. Jeez. Wow. Who else? Yeah, I'm not touching this one. That's the rumor on the streets. Wow. Who else? Yeah, I'm not touching this one.

That's the rumor on the streets. You know who is touching Doc's daughter? Apparently a lot of people. She likes her some ballplayers. That's the word on the streets. Was Ben Simmons one of them at one point? I don't know. Ben's a newbie, but that's the word on the streets.

I thought I heard something like that. But it is what it is. To me, that's annoying. You're an annoying daughter for that reason like you're fucking disguised co-workers at the end of the day doc has to work with these nba players yeah right yeah and they would want nothing more than to fuck your daughter and why would you give them that? Like, imagine. You selfish bitch. Yeah, she's so fucking selfish.

I've done that before. I've slept with one of my coach's daughters before. See, that's crazy. It's like, you know what I mean? It wasn't that. I'm judging, Kaz. Yeah, I'm judging you, Kaz. I'm judging, man.

How's it feel? How's that not feel, dog? He was like, he looked judging, man. How's it feel? How's it feel, dog? He looked at me like... Were you starting or no? I was starting, bro. I was on conference. You were starting? Yeah, I got player of the week like four times that year, too.

Word? Yeah, it was nice. Thanks to both of them. She was cute, man. I mean, hey. This is my college years, bro. I think he set her up for that. I think he was like, yo Yo the only thing that Kaz needs

Is some confidence No to be fair This was a year after I graduated Like she would always come to the game She'd always flirt whatever But I didn't until Until you finished Until I was out of school

So she was still in high school And you were in college No I was Graduated college Oh She was Well we both graduated college But she was He was still coaching the team Oh so you didn't fuck her While you were coaching college no i was graduated college oh she was well we both graduated college but she was he was still coaching the team oh so you didn't fuck her while you were coaching no no yeah i'm

gonna go back in the game coach no you sure you don't want your daughter to get cummed on i'm gonna go back in the game coach coach i think i got a few more minutes in me coach call time out we don't need a time out yet coach the girl was trying to call time out last night you was not cool bro like we like i remember like when she finally cool, bro. I remember when she finally- He better be cool. You're fucking his daughter. When she finally told him, yeah, you know. You got no choice.

I love it when dads are cool after you're fucking their daughter. You better be cool, motherfucker. Exactly. We play a zone. You hear me? Only man to man I play is with your daughter. Sup, sup. Sup, sup.

I'm playing boxing one on heart. Oh, man. Real talk, man. Good times. Isn't it crazy that every movie creates this dynamic where the man wants to win over the daughter's father? You do, though. I'm so nervous.

You do, though. Not win him over, but you want to be like- You are a psycho, sir. You got to win me over. I'm fucking your daughter. You're a psycho, sir. You're a wild boy. You are really psycho, sir. You're really a wild boy. me over You're a while you are really sight really a lot. Wow you're all boys. This is not this is not just a concept in movies That's it in life

You didn't smash the daughter first. You had to win over the dad, and the dad was like, all right, open up that pussy. Let him in it. Right? This was a good dinner. That dinner meant a lot back in the day, right? It was like everything you said on that dinner, there was a little crank on the daughter's leg. And I was like, yeah, actually, I'm in finance.

Crank, crank, crank, crank, crank. I'm making $2 million a year. And the dad just had a little rotating finance. Crank, crank, crank, crank, crank. I'm making $2 million a year. And the dad just had a little rotating thing. Crank, crank, crank, crank, crank. I did get fired from my last job. Crank, crank, crank, crank, crank. So that dinner mattered. You had to kill it.

But now by the time you meet the father, you've already fucked the daughter many times. So it's like, you need to win me over, fam. You need to win me over fam you need to win me over like why are we thinking about this different yo there's something really wrong really wrong with you so i already hit i bump and grind and put my thumb on the butt like that like that son i pray you never have a daughter son yo bro i'm looking at my son my girl's dad does respect me during dinner Pray you never have a daughter, son. You're a fag, son. I'm looking at him like, you're a fag, son. My girl's dad disrespects me during dinner?

Don't allowable to get fingered in that moment. In that moment. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What was that, dad? What was that? This is how I know you date a lot of white women.

That's why I just started dating white women. Nah, bro. Just kidding. You don't get to meet the dads of the black dads. I walked right into that. This is how I know. This is how I know. I'm like, there's no way you're doing that with a black daddy in the house.

Are you kidding me? Oh, shit. There was probably no black daddy. I get it. I get it. Oh, boy. I'm making no sense on that? No. Nah, bro.

Because it's an emotional thing. You're just fucking insane. If you love this girl, like if it's just some girl, you probably don't mean the father anyway. If you mean the father, you care about this girl, right? Yes, 100%. But all I'm saying is this, Akash, right? Tell me if I But all I'm saying is this Akash right tell me if I make a sense here Make a sense, okay I'm taking care of your daughter

Right, right. I'm the new you yeah, no You're not I gotta protect and provide for her. That's the idea. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You like when a girl calls you daddy? A woman can't provide for themselves. You like when a girl calls you daddy, bro? Say what?

You like it when a girl calls you daddy? She don't really call me dad. You don't like it? She don't call me daddy, really. That's weird. I'm going to be honest with you. That don't really happen. I've had a girl say that to me.

There's some girls that are into that. I'm like, don't do that. I make them call me father. Father. Dad. I make them call me father. Dad. I make them call me dad. Just dad. Right there, dad.

It's Mr. Clemens to you. Why don't you call me Mr. Your Last Name. It's just Mr. Media. Mr. Media is sick. Mr. Media Dude, Mr. Media is sick Mr. Media That's a porn name Mr. Media is a porn name It is, real talk

Got that Here we go Here's about to let loose Here's about to let loose Got that full clip Talk to me Talk to me, Al Talk to me

What, sometimes you ask for an edit? Okay Talk to me, Al. Talk to me. What? What? Sometimes she asks for an edit? Okay. That's what I'm saying. If I'm the one that's going to protect your daughter after you die, you're closer to dead than I am. I got to protect her. I got to provide. Shouldn't you be wanting to win me over?

Yeah, but you're not set. You're not married yet. He still has influence on whether or not, if she values his opinion, he's like, I don't really like this guy. Do dads really think that their opinion matters to their daughter? I think this is a white thing. It's more about the girl. Where you're like, I don't care what you think, dad.

That happens in other families, but not as a lot. Like, it matters. Not a lot of brown folks' families. Like, if the dad's there, like, you want to. It happens. It happens, for sure. Ain't nobody to give a fuck what their parents say, really, in America. Yes, but white people do.

This is how you do it. What are you talking about? If my mom didn't like my shorty. Yeah, you was out. You was out. You had to win the parents over. Straight up. What if you had ice?

I've blown the dinner before. Say what? I've blown the dinner completely. Showing up being black? Yeah, like I was Asian I I've totally blown the dinner before. I don't understand. You said he was a writer. I just don't get it. I've had some ill-timed jokes. What'd you say? I don't remember what I said.

You ever think you were too cool with the parent? And like, oh, bro, you kind of. Like what Edwin does every week when he thinks he's too comfortable. What were you saying? I don't remember. This is years ago This is when I was You know

Had to win over parents When I was like 20 something You're just seeing the mom Walk away from the table You're looking at dad Like she get it from her mama Something like that It had to be something stupid

Like I thought I definitely overstepped my boundaries On like a few jokes What'd you say? It was something along the lines Of just like You know Like maybe like cursing

When I probably shouldn't have And like There's like little kids And like Because he cursed And like I cursed And like it was a very big difference between like him saying a curse and me being like oh yeah fuck that shit was a whole it was you felt it like immediately and then like two or three weeks later it was just it was a wrap like i knew it was over see that's pussy though it ain't pussy it's just that like some girls like are very big daddy's

girls and it's like if daddy don't like I don't believe that Moms will always make it up to you. I believe that shit. We're low-key. I don't believe it That's not cuz you don't What kind of crazy? What the fuck is wrong with y'all? Like, what kind of crazy-ass world do y'all live in? Hold on. Wait a minute. Come on, son. I'm sorry.

Have you ever had good head? Have you? Guys, have you ever had good head? Yo, there is no better head when it feels like the girl's trying to find her father in your dick. She's just like, Where is it? Where is it? Daddy!

Come back to me! She's trying to squeeze you out the shaft. Come back! Suck the shame out or something. God damn, yo. The tears just make it extra wet. Real talk, that's why they like it when you say, I'm going to suck the shame out or something. God damn, yo. The tears just make it extra wet. Real talk, that's why they like it when you say, I'm coming. They're just taking it on the chest like, oh, it's my dad.

It's my dad. Flanker ladies, listen to this show. That's why they swallow, just to keep them a little bit longer. Just find your dad. Just have a conversation with him. Do something. Please. I beg of you.

Yo, for real. That is why girls swallow. Because they say they'll never leave. I'm keeping these forever. Or until the next time I pee. Oh, God. Oh, God. Sons. Okay.

Maybe I have a unique way of thinking about these things. You think? I don't know. I just feel like, yo, can we say something? Akash and Akash's wifey and me were a much better turn. A word? Absolutely. Okay.

We had dinner. We had dinner. This was great. It was great. I love to hear it. I love to see it. What did I say? Immediately off the jump.

I'm sorry. Good man. Good man. Good man. Walked up. No confrontation. Nothing. It was very dope of him to do it. As stupid as I apologize profusely, and I didn't want to create any tension, and I said,

and this is a public apology, justly,. I'm sorry. But what I said was I think sometimes this kind of crazy persona is a little bit more digestible once you know me. Once you get to know you, yeah. And I didn't put in that time to get to know her. She didn't know you. It was a little wild. Everything with you comes with context. That's what I always tell people. Exactly, bro.

I'm not good on print. Yeah. There's so many times people are like, yo, I don't know how you do the podcast. I'm like, yo, everything he does comes. Exactly, bro. I'm not good on print. Yeah, like, there's so many times people are like, yo, I don't know how you do the podcast. I'm like, yo, everything he does comes with context, though.

You gotta be here. You gotta know the guy. You gotta be around him. You gotta be around the energy. That's why I tell my girlfriend's dad. You know what I mean? It's like,

don't listen to shit I text you, bro. Like, I'm right here. You know what I mean? Say something. Watch it go and get fingered. Oh, man. God damn it.

Isn't that crazy? Anyway, shouts to Jasleen. Shouts to Jasleen, man. Shouts out to Jasleen. You're on good terms, man. I'm on good terms with Kaz Weife. We all get on good terms. Oh, yeah.

She's a fan. She loves it. We all get on good terms. I'm on good terms, bro. Shannonson, you leave. Listen. Hey, we started what year? This is good. 2019. We started 2019, man. We have way through the years. All right. Real talk, man. That's a new leaf. Listen, hey, we started what year? This is good, 2019.

We started 2019. We have way through the years. All right. Real talk, man. Better late than never. That's all I wanted, bro. I wanted these dykes to win the fucking World Cup, and then I wanted to be best friends with all my girls' wifeies.

That's it. Can you ask for anything more in life, really, though? You're doing well. Can you? You're doing well. My gosh. Can you even? I don't know if you can.

So, you know the wildest part of that? Who wanted these dice to win that match? That's top two things. That's me. I wanted relationship. Oh, Al, you missed it. Al walked out. Me and Akash Waifi were on good terms again.

Yeah, that was a dinner. It was nice. Dinner. You know, I apologized it. Al walked out. Me and Akash Whitefeet were on good terms again. Yeah, that was a good dinner. It was nice. Dinner, you know, I apologized, chopped it up. It was good stuff. Good stuff. Good little meal. I just heard you laughing, so did he just probably ruin it just now? No, it was good.

No, no, no. He even let me share some of her fries. She don't do that with everybody, apparently. Yeah, that's big. That's big, yeah. Cool. Actually, I kind of low-key just took them. But then she

then she let me know very quickly like I don't usually let people take my front teeth she was cool with it though she was cool with it

he was good that's good that warms my heart I hope it lasts but more comments like that yeah I know I'm fucking

like for the meantime I feel like at least there's context there's context there's context now I was like so what's up with the wedding

She's like I don't know I don't know You that I don't know It'd be that cool I sent you some pictures And she is like

A little better We'll see That's what's up So it's a big happy family Guys we have good Good um Flaker families We're all good

Flaker families I like it Fuck man Real talk y'all Yo can I say one thing Before I like it Fuck man Real talk y'all Can I say one thing Before we move on What's up Alright y'all know Mark

Mark opens for me Oh Gagnon Gagnon he's in a bunch of He's in a Dropping in He's dropping in with us He did an Inside Jokes You know very funny

Young comic Just moved to New York You know what I mean Very talented What's coming You know what I'm saying And young guy 22 22 years old. Oh, no.

I saw his talent, and I was like, listen, let's give this guy a shot. Let's bring him on tour. He's in New York. He was couch surfing a little bit. I'm like, yo, I'm out of town. You know what I mean? Why don't you stay at my place, dog? You got my place.

Get a nice bed. Get some AC. Get some big windows. I got big windows. That's 11 and a half foot ceilings. He do got some big ass windows. That's a majority window. You know what I mean? You're in a nice neighborhood. He Get some big windows. I got big windows. That's 11 and a half foot ceilings. He do got some big ass windows. That's majority window. You know what I mean?

Do it in a nice neighborhood. He got big ass windows. I come back from my little vacay. You know what I mean? I go to take my shower this morning before I come here flagrant too. What do I see on the bottom of the fucking shower? On the bottom of the tub? Not pubes.

None. Come. Oh, God. Son, my man whacked off in my shower and didn't even clean it that's wild son you gotta jerk over to the swirly

I had to be in the shower footing his sperm with my shit what that's not what y'all do when your friends put a nut in your shower that's not how y'all do it white people different That's not what y'all do when your friends bust a nut in your shower. That's not how y'all do it. White people differ.

I'm about to say, who has the comfort level to beat off in other people's houses? Can I tell you some real shit? I was in my own shower doing that Brazilian dance. Like this shit. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, that shit. With the heel turn. I. With the heel turn. I was doing the heel turn. What is that shit called? Oh, I thought you were talking about the heel toe. The heel toe. That's Jamaican then. I was doing that.

It's Jamaican? Yeah. I know it's Jamaican. Heel toe. No, I think that's Brazilian. It's like cumbia or some shit. Nah, heel toe is a Jamaican shit. I thought that shit was black.

Yeah. Black American. Guys, I don't know what it is, but I was doing that to Mark Sperm. So here's the thing about Mark. So Mark definitely needed to get lambasted. That's wild. Fim, how you— That's disrespectful.

I don't feel disrespected. Come in my bathtub. This is the thing that bothered me about— I've never heard somebody invite people. I know. Where's my hand? Come in my bathtub. Yo, white people.

You're so fucking gross. Yo, but it's funny because I was in the group chat when you The crazy thing is that He was like damn maybe it could be hair gel to He was like, damn, maybe it could be hair gel too. Jeez, yo. Yo, Mike, hold on, man. Yo, I'm getting the picture up right now. Yo, why? You took a picture of the nuts?

I took two pictures. Oh, God. I don't want to see that shit. Nah, nah, nah. We going to see it. Because let me tell you exactly what happened. Let's see what's in his diet. I just texted it to you, Eddie.

The juice in his diet. Yo, that's my bad, bro. I didn't think about it like that. I didn't think about it. You know what? I didn't think about it. So here's the thing. Can you imagine your girl going through your phone?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?? I'm out of the phone and just changed Andrew's number. I'm out of the phone and I'm out of the phone and I'm out of the phone and I'm out of the phone and I'm You should text Ed right now You left this here Oh god That's hilarious I'm about to go into Ed's phone And just change Andrew's number To Andrew Fuck your whole week up

Change the name Of his phone to Andrew Fuck your whole week up Y'all got it? You got it, Ed? Yeah Okay, good I want to see

I want to see Calm down This is the grossest This is what bothers me The most about it Are you going to put it On the screen? You ready to have it

On the screen? Calm the grossest shit On earth, man Say what? Calm is the grossest shit Are you going to put it on the screen? You ready to have it on the screen? Come on. The grossest shit on earth, man. Say what? Come is the grossest shit on earth. It is. It is. You're right.

You're right. We're all cum. What do you do when you're not? We're all cum before. You're like this? You're just kind of like. Man, you just get rid of it. What are you talking about?

You lean back like fucking Fat Joe and bust that shit in your mouth. It's like you're playing catch with goldfish with your friends like there's only two there's only two acceptable ways to beat off only two last day of the washcloth uh-huh into the washcloth and directly into the shower with the shower running oh god the tub is already disgusting let me tell you how pissed off i am and mark over this shit now go bring it up this little into the shower with the shower running into the drain. The tub is already disgusting. I had it in the coming. Let me tell you how pissed off I am at Mark over this shit. Now go. Bring it up.

This little ass fucking kid. That's right there. Look at... That's nuts. That's nuts. So let me tell you a couple things that piss me off about...

That's nuts. Now, zoom back out. Zoom back out. And look at his yellow ass nuts. How you fucking 22 your nutting even clear? I was about to say, what are you eating? Get your fucking diet, bro? You're eating chicken tenders all day, fucking sweet potato fries for the funny bone. That's why you're nut yellow. Okay? It's disgusting you're nuts, embarrassing. Now, this is what bothered me too.

Okay, zoom out even more please. So I'd like to just point this out. Okay. Notice that there's hair everywhere all over this shit, right? Look at the hair everywhere here. Okay? Guys, please, please, please, please, please. So, you know there's hair everywhere all over this shit, right? Look at the hair everywhere here, okay? Shabbs the wallet.

Right? Shabbs the wallet. Guys, please, please, please, please, please. So look that there's hair everywhere, right? This is what this means. This means that this guy, right? This means he wasn't getting a quick jerk and then getting out of there. That means he was taking his time whacking off in my shower to the point where the water level raised okay he

busted off into a little somewhat full pool of water is probably ankle high didn't even hit the drain didn't hit the drink and then left the shower and let it go into dream on its own, assuming that it would just get washed in there with the rest of the flow. It did not. You just had cum chowder in your bath. I know. He's out there shaving. Look at the little hairs.

He's shaving Orlando cum chowder. Son, I mean, this is mind-boggling, bro. You take someone in. Cum chowder. You know what I mean? You take someone in. Have the kindness of You know what I mean? You take someone in. Have the kindness of your heart. Give somebody a great opportunity.

How many sold-out world tours are there that you can come on and be a part of? And then you're just going to come all over my bathtub and leave it there. That's love right there, son. That's a different level, son. So what hair is that? What is this? Is it a sperm even? It kinda looks like two balls of a penis.

So it looks like biology class when you try to identify what's under the microscope and shit? Bro, I don't even know what that is, bro! Look at that fucking big ol' For a while though! Cum loogie right there, bro. Jesus Christ. I mean this is horrendous. I feel like if you zoom in you can see his little face on squiggly lines.

Swimming around. Alright. Yo, Mark. Yo, what's up? Mark, you fucking animal. I didn't do anything bro, I used a new hair conditioner and it made a weird stain. That's what he's doing. Hold on, you use air conditioner? You fucking gay?

Dude, that's worse than whacking off in my fucking bathtub, bro. I'm not joking, bro. I was having a threesome. Oh, yeah? So how many dudes come as that? I'm trying to buy you equipment. He's all trying to do a nice thing for you. You ain't paying for it.

I don't give a fuck. You came in this man's shower and didn't wash it out. Fuck you. I'm trying to buy you a camera with your credit card. So what? I came in your shower. You fucking animal. What the fuck is wrong with you, dog?

Those are the breaks. I buy you some shit and I cum on your face to even exchange. That's how life works. If I buy you something, I'm allowed to cum on something you owe. Do you know what's crazy? Is that, Mark, you Venmo requested me today, right? And I told you to Venmo request me for payment this week, right? Before I knew that you came in my shower.

So when I press pay on that Venmo, I'm effectively paying you to come on my shower. You like that one? Oh, yeah. Can you admit that you whacked off in my shower? What do you mean by whacked off? This is a sneaky piece of shit. Don't protest too much. Okay.

Did you jerk off in my shower? Do you want the honest answer or do you want the answer that's going to help you feel better? I want the honest answer. Look, I was lonely. Hey, Mark, girl, at least you know he's faithful. This motherfucker is cheating on you with Andrew's porcelain.

Dude, this is an... That's the only person you got to worry about. Fucking... Yo. The only thing his cum is touching is Andrew's pubes yeah I hear you buddy

I hear you man it didn't have to catch up to you you fucking loser just wash the fucking tub out so this is what I want to ask you

right when you were whacking off in the tub right did you let the water level raise up to about like calf height

no I rinsed it but it didn't go all the way. You didn't rinse it. That's a fucking lie. There's hair all over the goddamn bathtub. There's no way you rinsed it. I'm going real quick.

Okay? Son, you didn't even feel guilty enough to make sure the cum went down the drain. Go look at, listen, I'm going to show you, I sent you the picture.

Go look at the picture again. It looks like you washed a Yorkie in my fucking bathtub. Okay? You didn't wait for anything to go down the fucking train. The hair's not me. Who's the hair? The dude you fucked, Bradley.

I never showered in your shower, Bradley. You didn't shower. Okay. You just used your tub? Hold on. You just... You just used the tub? Just to beat off him? You just used the tub? Dry tub?

It's a dry tub jerk-off! Hold on. Hold on. You were fully clothed. You got naked and put your dry feet in my bathtub and then jerked off down. I was not naked. I was wearing shoes. You put shoes on into my bathtub.

You jerked... Why is there so much hair coming off? The hair, I can't explain. The hair's not... I swear to God... Yeah? Are you jerking off to metal music? Just headbanging while you jerk off.

Do it tonight! Do Haas, man! I had nothing to do with the hair. I don't understand the hair situation. Okay. Well, I'm done with this I think that we have to have new boundaries When you stay in my house

Okay Yeah you sleep outside that motherfucker Is if you're gonna jerk off in my place I'd like you to drink a little water Because your sperm is It's looking quite yellow bro It's looking very yellow Does everyone do that or is that just me

It's just you Stop drinking everyone do that Or is that just me It's just yours It's just you bro Okay Stop drinking Mike's hard lemonade You fucking child Country time coming in Country time come Country time come

This motherfucker Whacked off an Arnold Palmer Alright son We out Oh man All right, son. We out. Oh, man. I'm quite embarrassed, but at a certain point, you kind of got to own it. So that's on me. That's my fault, and it won't happen again.

He's absolutely a serial killer. Absolutely a serial killer. This shit is wild. That's mad scary. This is some weird like Animalistic Like trying to dominate You know when like a dog Oh yo he marked your territory

Yo you really trying to mark your territory on my fucking bathtub son But you didn't look in your bed though right Oh god Mark! You gotta hate it to him. He's funny. Mark is right in the bed. Mark! He's the funniest rapist I've ever met, for sure. Marky, Marky, Marky.

I didn't look at my bed. You know what I did do? I slept in it all last night. So if there's something you'd like to share. I think maybe you should think twice before you scare through the bear masking pen. Oh, you're getting scared, Mark. You're getting scared big time. Just know that the payback is a motherfucker, okay?

Remember, we sleep in the same Airbnb, and I have an uncanny ability. An uncanny ability to hold a bust until the last second What the fuck? Yeah, so you could get conned on bro Oh my god Alex just quit That's it, I was out What if all of a sudden Al, you just heard this stomping in the Airbnb

And I'm like what's happening? And then you come out to the living room, and I'm just pushing it. I'm pushing all over Mark. Mark's trying to get me back, so he's whacking my chest. And there's two different colored power streams, and you're watching anime. Like fucking Ghostbusters. He's shooting at each other in slow-mo. It's Goku and whatever.

I'll quit right there. Oh, my God. Bro, you either got to quit or lean in. Alex, you might have to defend yourself. I don't know if you want to battle with this sword, son. Back fuck up. As we know, I got some shrug swimmers, son. Son. Holy shit. Yo, I heard each one of them. Alex got sperm. some shrug swimmers son son

holy shit yo I heard Alex don't got sperm he got suicide bombers we'll talk Alex's sperms each one of them they pull themselves

out of his own dick it's a manhole oh my god alright Mark peace Jesus Christ he's for sure a serial killer.

My people are different. Okay, dude, we got to get through some more. We didn't talk no sports yet. We got to get through some more sports before we get into this. Let's do mid-roll then sports. I think that's a phenomenal idea, Akash. Knock it out. Yo.

This next company, I don't even know what to say because I feel like we've said it all, but there could be some new listeners that are listening that have not gotten on the chew yet. And I don't know if there's another company that is more synonymous with the brand of flagrant chew. Sun. Yeah. It's in blue, too. It's flagrant chew. It's flagrant chew.

Flagrant chew. We need to have our own product. I'm talking to the guys to see if we can get our own product made. But until then, you guys get on that blue chew. Okay. For what it is, for those of you guys who don't know by now, it is the same exact active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis. It's a boner pill. You don't get your shit hard.

But again, this is for male optimization. Okay. This is out here having a good time. Make sure your girl's satisfied. Give your girl the night of her life. Or if you've got a new shorty that you need to impress, and you know your dick game ain't amazing, and you need to come through with the hammer, Akash.

You need to come through with the hammer. Akash's the most savage dude in the world because this guy took it to get hit. I've never seen that happen in my entire life. That's one of the most incredible things I've ever heard. I respect it. Took it to get hit. That's incredibly selfish.

Honestly, I recommend it. I recommend it. I recommend it again and again. Walk around with genetically... This is for you. Walk around with genetically enhanced dick like, no, no, no, no. Mouth.

All happy. The legend uh The legend The legend Of Akash Singh Yeah But yeah No headaches No after effects

No weird side effects No side effects You just You know what the side effect is You got round two I'm 35 You ain't getting round two from me But with this blue chew

You getting that round two Blue chew Round two We're happy We're going at it again. BlueChew.com. Obviously use the offer code flagrant. You're going to get yourself for free.

You got to pay $5 shipping, but you get yourself for free that first sample. You go try it out. That's all I got to say. I don't even like, I don't even need to sell it. It's as simple as this.

Sell the soap. I want to get, I want to get a little recorder on me after the shows because every time after shows, the couples walk by and the dude goes, yo, I'm about to chew it out. And the girl turns back and she goes, damn right. That is crazy.

It's crazy. That's real. It is insane. So I'm telling you, Blue Chew, the fucking goats. It's not a game. It's amazing to see them have ads on ESPN. Yeah. When we started, I didn't see it anywhere. you the fucking goats it's not a game it's amazing to see them have ads on espn yeah when we started they weren't they were i didn't see it anywhere and i remember the first time we

did that ad we sold the fucking pill out yeah the pills they ran out of inventory ran out of inventory think about how small a pill is how bad how much room you need for pills there's a lot of pills so and now this shit is blowing up so it's great to see what the asshole army is doing. Shout out to Blue Chew, man. Dude at a show has bad shit. Beautiful. And I was like, how the fuck did he get her? And then he introduced himself or whatever, and then leaned in my ear.

He goes, I chew that shit the fuck out of her. Let's go. Let's go. So we'll give your girl the time of her life. BlueChew.com. BlueChew.com. Go get that Blue Chew. Make it happen. Release the Kraken. Okay? her life. Bluechew.com. Bluechew.com. Go get that bluechew. Make it happen.

Release the Kraken. Okay? Round two, bluechew. You want to keep it flagrant? You keep it blue. Simple as that. Let's get back to the show. Akash.

Kawhi, son. I can't believe we haven't even spoken about Kawhi yet. My gosh. What did we talk about? Doc Rivers. Yeah. So, I was wrong So I was wrong. I was wrong, but I swear to God I would have put $10,000 that said that he was absolutely

going there. I'm so mad I didn't bet that. You should have bet it. I don't even think I would have taken it from you because nobody saw that shit coming. I will say this, and there is something that we can correct. Woj did tweet out something that wasn't accurate he tweeted out that an offer was made by okc for russell westbrook and pg to go to toronto rafters okay that's not true the offer was for pg and in exchange for PG, they wanted four first-round picks and Pascal Siakam. Now, you can't trade Pascal Siakam and expect Kawhi to want to come back.

Yeah. You're gutting their future. You're gutting their future. That's kind of what the Lakers did. And they're current in a lot of ways because he played an integral part of that team. He took a lot of stress off of Kawhi. He was probably the only other consistent on the ball or on the ball scorer. And Paul George just had surgery. We don't know how that shows.

We don't know how it's going to do, man. We don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what did happen, though, is OKC is a shrewd front office. They released that statement so that other teams could go, what? Westbrook's available? Eyes lit up. Yeah.

So they used that situation. Which you explained earlier. Instead of just saying, hey, Russ is available, people would be like, oh, why don't you want him? I'll give you a first round pick. You don't want him. He must not be that great. Doesn't that speak to just how powerful Kawhi is right now, though? I'll be honest.

Kawhi impressed me this offseason. He impressed the shit out of me. He was thinking very strategically about what he wanted to play with and how he was going to play next year. And thinking about not only the team that he was building, but also his body. And one of the issues with his time in Toronto was that he had to carry too much offensive weight.

So he's like, I need somebody who can get buckets. And lock up. Listen, lock up, great. But Kawhi goes into a situation going, I'm going to guard the best player and I'm fine with that. Yeah. But he can't carry the team by putting up 40 every single time. What?

What? What's this? No, this is nothing. Oh, okay. I thought it was. This is your theory, what you just said. Oh, I know. I know.

I know. This is what it is. Okay, gotcha. So it's like, so basically he's like, I need someone else who could basically score. I need another guy who's going to do something. Nobody else on Toronto. I mean, Pascal a little bit, but no one was really, I mean, Kyle wasn't consistently doing it.

No, definitely. But the guy's going to get out there. As good as Pascal Siakam is, he's no Paul George. Exactly. Got it. And, you know, I mean, Kawhi's got knees. He But the guy's going to get up there. As good as Pascal Siakam is, he's no Paul George. Exactly. Got it. And, you know, I mean, Kawhi's got knees. He's got knees he has to be concerned with. Yeah, that quadriceps tendon that even with the load management,

he was limping through the playoffs. Oh, he barely made through. Yeah. He barely made through. So you have a situation. There was like two games in like the Easter Conference Finals. I was like, he doesn't look like he's going to hold up. Yeah.

That guy, KD, got, well,. That guy, KD, got hurt. But if KD didn't get hurt and I had to be stretched out for a couple games, I don't know. It might be a wrap. You got to go and guard him and? Might be a wrap. Yeah. It was a very interesting situation, to say the least.

But now you're looking at a team that has a starting front three of Patrick Beverly, ferocious defender, Paul George, ferocious defender, Kawhi Leonard, ferocious defender. Montrezl Harrell, ferocious defender off the bench. Moe Harkless, ferocious defender off the bench. I've never seen this much perimeter defensive talent. Question. Is this the best defensive

team that we've seen? On paper, yes. Better than the Heat with LeBron and Dewey. Because they could lock up, but Chalmers wasn't like a fucking lockdown defender. Beverly is. that we've seen. On paper? Yeah. Yes. On paper, yes. Better than the heat with LeBron and Dewayne because they could lock up but Chalmers wasn't like a fucking lockdown defender. Beverly is.

Beverly's a dog. Beverly's a dog. Paul George and Kawhi Leonard are the top two two-way players in the world and number three is like way down.

I was looking at that Dame Lillard final shot which was the final play of Paul's career. Of the Thunder. And everybody was trying to go. Everybody was tweeting out this image. They were like, this is the last play of Paul's OKC career. Yeah.

It was a beautifully defended play. Yeah. Right in his fucking mouth. It was a crazy shot. And he shot it from 40 feet out. What else are you going to do? Paul is an inch away from blocking that ball. At 40 feet out.

I'll take it. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It is a really interesting thing, especially as the league gravitates towards offense and shooters. Right? Like small ball. Who's better prepared for small ball than Patrick, Paul, Kawhi? Yeah yeah you could play Kawhi at like the five

that's what I'm gonna say they're gonna put Paul Paul's right six six nine six six ten maybe like if you if you need to play him at power forward that's light work yeah you put he doesn't like it but if you need to that's light work And then imagine trying to run pick and roll where Paul George is now guarding your point guard. Oh, my gosh. What do you do? There's nothing. That team goes nine deep probably. The savviest signing now to me, I mean, this trade is obviously amazing for the Clippers,

but holding on to Beverly looks so fucking smart now. And I wonder if Beverly knew because I heard, I know the Mavs wanted him. I think they bungled that but also somebody offered him 50 and he said no apparently. Oh, so he chose to stay for less. For less. Because he knew

what they were trying to cook up. Maybe. Or he had faith. And I don't know, now you, Andrew genuinely, genuinely does know people in the league

more than anybody I've met. Have you heard anything about, is it true that Kawhi was actively recruiting Paul George to the Clippers? Because that's what we're reading. So did he know he wanted to go there from the jump? No. But he knew he wanted to play with Paul George. Okay. So that's

the difference. He knew he wanted to play with Paul George, specifically Paul George. Story is he reached out to KD first. KD said no. Then he hit up Paul George. I can't confirm that because I don't know. I only know about the Paul George thing. I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to do that with kd but then kd bust the the leg well he apparently still reached out to him and was willing to wait the year to say yo i think as soon as free agency opened apparently i think this is a story i read

he called kd like look i think we would go really well together kd was flattered but he was like no i'm gonna go to brooklyn but he was impressed with kawaii and like kind of flattered, but he was like, no, I'm going to go to Brooklyn. But he was impressed with Kawhi and kind of flattered he reached out. That's the thing, man. We underestimate Kawhi. Kawhi has an uncanny understanding of the game. I think we confuse quiet people with dumb people or quiet people with unaware. And he kind of mouth kind of hanging open. He looked a little dumb to us.

I said this towards the end of the year. He got a dumb look. Yeah. But he's not dumb. No. Yeah. He's got some Kaiser So say to him. Yeah said this towards the end of the year. He got a dumb look. Yeah. But he's not dumb. No. Yeah. He's got some Kaiser So say to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right? Like he really knows what's happening and he's letting everybody think that he has no clue. Which makes him the smartest guy in the room. In the fucking room. The smartest guy in the room is the guy who's okay with everybody thinking he's dumb. Yeah. What were you saying, Cass? No, I was saying like this past year we've come to the conclusion that he's the most self-aware guy in the league.

This past year, we've come to the conclusion that he's the most self-aware guy in the league. Like, he's not, he's very unaware of the fucking, the ad rollouts. Even that's the New Balance shit. That was great. Like, just going with Times New Roman font. Like, the most general, most basic shit. Like, he knows what you're all fucking thinking about him. And he leaned into it more than ever. And he doesn't care.

And he doesn't give a fuck. The end of the rap is he did the last laugh and shit before he left. Every one of us gets one, one, Andrew much more than us. I get one, one thousandth

of the notifications that Kawhi gets. But any of us know the negative one always sticks out to you. Kawhi doesn't care negative, positive, whatever. He is working.

You say what you want. He hears it. He doesn't care. He's going to do what he needs to do yeah and that is a fucking superpower it is it is so much so it is like there is in a lot in marketing there's nothing more valuable than not giving a fuck about the end product yeah and he's in in a unique and interesting situation where he makes the majority of his money through this

contract he is 160 mil or whatever the four years it is, right? Right. Coming at him. So anything New Balance pays him- It's gravy. It's gravy. It means nothing. So he could basically go, all right, run with this kind of like off-kilter campaign.

We'll see if it works. Yeah. He doesn't- He's not one of these guys going, well, if this fucks up, it fucks up my narrative. And my image and my- Yeah. My narrative is the word. And remember how Russ said I'm blessed with the ability to not give a yeah not as much as kairi kairi true

i'm sorry kawaii kawaii kawaii truly doesn't give a board man gets paid yeah all right it's apathy it's not like he's going i'm gonna choose to not give a yeah he truly i think he gives a fuck. He just knows how to approach it better than people that say, I don't give a fuck. I think he doesn't care. I think he doesn't even care.

I think he hears it and he's like, oh, okay. He hears it. He's aware of it. I think when you say, I don't give a fuck, it means you got to react to it.

Just because you care about something doesn't mean you got to react to it. He has no emotional investment. He's completely apathetic to all these things outside the game. You know what's the best part about all this shit? Winning finals MVP. He's completely apathetic to all these things outside the game. You know what's the best part about all this shit? Winning finals MVP.

He was completely apathetic about this trophy. He's like, Kyle Holden. I don't care about that. Where's the Larry O.B.? Larry O.B. is all you care about. The best part about this whole shit is that everybody who outed themselves thinking they knew what Kawhi was thinking throughout this entire thing, but nobody knows what he's ever thinking.

Even the people that are super close to him. True. Nobody knew. Nobody had a fucking clue. True. I fell asleep during the fucking earthquake summer league game, and I woke up to that shit. I thought I was fucking dreaming.

I'm like, this isn't real. I'm like, what? You know? And it, bro. That wasn't the time. Every one of us made predictions. Andrew said, I'll bet anything he stays. Kaz and I both said Lakers.

I didn't hear a single person say Clippers. Chris Carter said, anybody says the Lakers have a lead over Clippers or Raptors is wrong. That's as close as anyone got to predicting it. God bless. He fucking did it. No, he fucking did it. They're going to win it all next year, man. There's definitely a chance.

They're going to win it all next year. There's definitely a chance. Now we've got to look at what happens with OKC and what happens with Russell Westbrook. Clearly, Russell has talked to them and said he wants a trade. I think there's three teams. Detroit, Miami, and the Rockets that I've heard. Okay. Knicks have also been thrown out there.

I don't think the Knicks. I don't think they physically can do it. Not with those contracts that they just signed. So here's the thing. Unless they just void all the contracts. And also Miami was thrown out. Yeah, Miami was thrown out there too. So here's the thing, right?

When you have a player like Russell Westbrook. Russell Westbrook is on the wrong side of. He's 31 now? 30? Right. So he's on the wrong side of his career, right? He's coming down, right? He's no longer wrong side of his career right he's coming down right he's no longer in the space where you're where you're signing him based on potential and what

could is who he is he is who he is and it's probably either gonna stay here or get worse yeah right now tricky thing you've tried to build around him with kevin durant didn't work out you tried to build around him with paul george didn't work out. You tried to build around him with Paul George, didn't work out. You tried to build around him honestly with like a young Harden and they made the decision not to work that out. And to be fair, Harden wasn't there yet. And he wasn't there, but that's fair. But you've given him the best players in the league

to try to build something with. Couldn't do it. Couldn't make Melo better. Nobody can. But still. You know that he's not able to make these other players better enough to where you can win you also know that he's not willing to change his game no so what teams will end up signing a guy like that what often happens to a player of this caliber right who we all know is unbelievably gifted but not willing to change his game the smart teams in the league won't touch him

because they know that he's proven he cannot win and he cannot change. So what happens is the second and third tier teams or the teams with incompetent ownership grab at it. The Kings, the Suns. Because they need something to put them over the top. The Magic, right? They have no attention from marquee athletes. So anytime they get a chance, they go, okay, just give it.

We'll figure it out. And they probably don't have a shot to win it anyway. So we might as well just take the risk. 100%. The Knicks, unfortunately, and they should not be in this conversation, but are also involved. And people often go like, why would the Knicks do this? Why would they invest in this player that has proven to not win?

And he's on the wrong side of his career, this, that the other and it's like well this is what the knicks have done right this is how you show this how you show the incompetence of the knicks over time they did it with sephel marbury they did it with steve francis and there definitely will be engaged in conversations due with russell i think you do the conversations i don't think you the mistake there is mortgaging your future and tying up your cap room with players that are on the other side of their career which i don't think they'll do couldn't agree more the one thing i do have because i'm a russell westbrook stand i've always rode for this dude i love him as a player his personality yeah i think the best thing going for him is that the super team era died. And now most of these teams are two-player teams.

And I think you still got to – I still like my chances if Russell Westbrook is one of my best players in the league that is buried with two-star player teams now. So I don't think – you got to remember a lot of times Russell Westbrook was going against the Warriors, going against the Rockets, going against the Blazers this year, but they hit a crazy shot, but the series was over by then anyway. They were going against the first Miami Heat team when they got to the finals, the first Heatles team. Now you're at a point where the decks are a little bit more even throughout the league.

If I'm Miami, I'd take that shot right now. I'd take that shot with Jimmy Butler. I'd give my trust in Pat Riley and Spolster. Spolster, who has managed bigger personalities than you before, and won. So you're saying Miami. Go to Miami. I think he goes to Miami. I think Miami is the best.

That'd be a fun team, man. Him and Jimmy Butler. It's just going to be fun. I would love that. I don't know if they're going to win shit, but it's going to be fun. It's dogs, man. Butler, Westbrook, and Riley would automatically be my favorite non-next team. Like, tomorrow.

And Riley, historically, has done well with guards. Of course. I can't think of a more Pat Riley player in today's game. Yeah, they all got the same type of game. And Jimmy Butler. Those are two guys, like like ferocious competitors. Fiery, like passionate. And that's how he played.

That's how Riley teams have always played. That's how the Knicks were relevant. Also, Riley is a no-nonsense culture guy, meaning like Riley will tell LeBron, you're not welcome here. Right. So if Russ is there thinking he's going to do Russ, he's going to get a rude awakening. I don't think Russ will do that. And if Jimmy is there thinking he's gonna do russ he's gonna get a rude awakening i don't think russ will do that jimmy is there thinking he's gonna be jimmy and do whatever the fuck he

wants during practice and yell at people etc that ain't gonna fly you can pull that shit with sam presti and billy donovan that shit with pat riley who the fuck was in the sixes uh the brett brown you can do with that pat riley's one of the nba godfathers you're not doing that to him you're not doing that he got the rings bro he got the rings as simple as that he got the rings none of them have rings you're not gonna talk to me that way he's the fucking godfather bro like there's a handful of motherfuckers in the nba that like you just not fuck with miami's the only team that i think he could go to and and actually have something successful happen and i think it's because him and him and Jimmy are so oblivious to social dynamics that it might work out.

Like, I think certain players, they crumble when they're in the presence of that. Like a Jason Tatum, right? He crumbled in the presence of Kyrie. Kyrie bullied him, and then you just saw his confidence evaporate. of Kyrie. Kyrie bullied him and then you just saw his confidence evaporate. Right.

Right? Jimmy's confidence is so otherworldly and unaffected by the outside world. You know, it's like Larry David-esque almost.

It's like, I just feel this way so I'm going to be this way. And I feel like Russell is the same way. Like, he'll just dress stupid and not care.

Yeah. And I think when you put both of them together, they can yell at each other during practice and then after practice be like, hey, that was good practice. That's how we talk.

That's what everybody says about them. Yes. That's what everybody says about Russell. Them two together, I think they'll understand each other on like a spiritual level. That's it. Yo, this is how we talk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck it, you guys making a big deal about it, idiots? Fuck you. Let's just slap box. All right, we're done. Like, this is... The more I think about it, that's what I'm saying,

the more I think about it, like, you I'm saying. The more I think about it. I would love it. Some chemical experiments don't work just because the one piece is awful. Like, that city with that owner and that president of basketball operations and those two players. I don't think they win it, but it'd be fun. No, no, no. It'd be fun. No, no, no.

Here's my thing. Here's my thing. I'd give them a shot. I'd give them a shot out the East. Who out the East is that dominant right now? I just worry because I've always done this with Russell Westbrook teams. I I give him a shot. I give him a shot out the East. Who out the East is that dominant right now? I just worry because I've always done this with Russell Westbrook teams. I give him a shot. But here's the thing.

They've never been bad teams. But you know what? They got the bad seed out of there. What was the guy's name? Tall for nothing. Yeah, Whiteside. They got Whiteside out of there. Retard.

Jimmy Butler would have fought him for sure. Him and Westbrook would have jumped him. You got Myers Leonard, who I like. You got a tall white boy that does exactly what you tell him. You got an obedient dog. Whenever you tell Myers, he's going to do it. And you got a couple dog whispers. You got a couple Caesar moments.

Yeah. Hey. Essentially, you need your Stephen Adams. You need your bulldog. He's going to handle that kind of shit You let Myers do all that nonsense Right And then all you gotta do really

Is put shooters around them I'm trying to think who else they have I think they got Drogic No Drogic's a free agent right now No Drogic's a free agent They got rid of Richardson No they're trying He has one year left on his contract

That was the Mavs trade They tried to move him And it all fell apart Right Is Tyler Johnson still there To get Russ they would have to move him And probably one of his other contracts Tyler Johnson got traded To Philly Russ, they would have to move him and probably one of your other contacts. Tyler Johnson got traded to Philly.

They'd take an expiring for that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can fill up some. There's still some decent free agents out there you can fill up that team with. We got Russell and Butler. I like it. I like it.

I like them. Literally, that's the only situation I like for Russell. Yo, you know what would be great down in Miami? You know what would be fucking great? It's a shame that he already signed to the Pelicans. But J.J. Redick. J.J. Redick. He would have loved it.

He would have loved those two. I think he had his fill of Jimmy Butler. I was like, I'm going to go. I don't think J.J. cares, right? Because J.J. is so singular in what he does. He's such a professional. That's it. I'm going to go out there.

I'm going to give you. I'm going to hit these threes. Such a gym rat. That's it. I'm going to go out there. I'm going to give you, I'm going to hit these threes. Such a chimrat. That's it. And I think Butler has to respect it. It's like, I don't expect you to carry the team. I just expect you to hit these threes.

So I'm not upset. It is what it is. Yeah. So real quick, I would have, I think this is dope. I would have loved to see Kawhi stay with the Raptors.

And I also, I want to see teams defend the title. And I'm, maybe I'm a fucking idiot, but I think Kyrie in the playoffs. I would have loved to see Kawhi stay with the Raptors. And I also, I want to see teams defend the title. And maybe I'm a fucking idiot, but I think Kyrie in the playoffs next year would have been really cool to see. Sorry, Kyle Lowry. I keep saying Kyrie. Kyle Lowry, yeah. I don't know why I keep saying Kyle Lowry. Kyle Lowry coming off the monkey off his back of actually winning in the playoffs.

Yes. I think would be really free. You know what's funny though? And I don't think Kawhi would have to carry the load if he stayed with the Raptors that he did

if Kawhi stayed you'd see Kyle playing with a different level of confidence is it DeMar DeRozan the free agent after this year

he might be I think he has a lot of years left him and DeMar go back to Toronto go back to Toronto bro go back

well the Raptors have get the fucking farewell tour the Raptors next season also Vince Carter, get the fucking farewell tour. The Raptors next season also- Your girl cheats on you with Brad Pitt. Yeah, exactly. You get back, bro.

Brad Pitt leaves your girl, and then you go back to your girl. You pathetic motherfucker. That's sad. Just kept your girl's pussy warm for a year. Took it to a new level, really. And hit it way better. Way better. Coming all over the place.

Way better. Buying her jewelry. The Raptors have- Ten times. Did this go full rebuild? Because they got Gasol $25 million off the books at the all over the place. Way better. Buying a jewelry. The Raptors have – Did this go full rebuild? Because they got Gasol $25 million off the books at the end of the year. Lowry $33 million off the books at the end of the year. So two things.

I think that there is the rebuild possibility after this year, and then this year they wait a little bit as the deadline approaches and see who wants to get out of their situation. Right? So if there's a certain player – let's say the fucking Celtics aren't playing up to the par and they're trying to make a move, or let's say even Philadelphia is trying to make a move.

Let's say something happens. I think that they're good enough in the East, because again, I think the East is in disarray. I think they're good enough in the East to still be competitive. Like a low seed? Yeah, very low, but you'd be at the bottom. You could go seven or eight or something like that. Don't get me wrong. Kawhi is a beast, but they you'd be at the bottom, you could go 7 or 8 or something like that. Don't get me wrong.

Kawhi is a beast, but they still have good players on that team. Yeah, like Pascal Siakam is going to have a great year. Mark will have to deliver a little bit more. And Anubi, I think, is done. He'll be coming off an injury. He'll have his opportunity to show himself. He just lost minutes. Can I ask you another question?

Is Sam Presti a good GM or not? I can't figure this shit out. No, he is. It's amazing what they've been able to do in OKC. He's a good GM in a shitty fucking market. Winning championships is hard. Is it just one bad move that fucked him completely and now he's trading James Harden?

It wasn't even that that's that bad a move because they still made it to the finals. They went to the Western Conference Finals. They never made it to the finals after he got traded. They blew the 3-1 lead against the Warriors. That's like saying this. Let's say Jordan never went away, right? That's like saying

was Hakeem Olajuwon that good? Hakeem didn't win a single fucking ring. This team though With MJ being in the league Yeah but the difference I think is He traded He had the Warriors

I mean the ball movement is different and all that But talent wise that was a super team That you got on your own Three MVPs at this point And that's the difference between Steph and Russ Is Steph can Operate in a super team and Russ can't. Well, once you traded Harden, it was what you have now with the two stars. But that's my thing, though.

I hear you on that. My whole shit is like I don't think Harden becomes Harden if he stays in OKC. He's so dominant with the ball. He dribbles so many times. Like, there's no way you're doing that shit with Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, Serge Ibaka. You know what he was with the Thunder? A good defender.

Yeah. Yeah, that's the funny part. He was a fucking amazing six-man. He was, because he could have come off the bench. He was coming limited minutes. He had his mission. Yep. He could shoot wherever the fuck he wanted to,

and he had to just play lock-up defense. And that's what he did. One more year, I would have liked to see that team. That's what he did. But I think Harden's... We talked about this a couple weeks ago. The margins between winning a championship and never winning a championship are so fucking thin.

Yeah. It's very hard to win. So it's like, I can't take all. I can't take all. Let's knock out one more thing before we go to the second half of the episode because we're already going pretty deep. I think that we should, unless there's something big basketball-wise.

No, what do the Lakers do? Summer League, the earthquake. I think we talk about these fights. Did you guys see the fights this weekend? Oh, yeah. MMA fights? No. Okay.

Yeah, hood Jesus. So shout out to Jorge Masvidal, right? Roll after this. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. So shout out to Jorge Masvidal. Roll after this. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. So shout out to Jorge Masvidal. Jorge Masvidal is a journeyman MMA fighter who some of you guys might have watched, like I did, in backyard fights with Kimbo Slices. Kimbo Slices came through in the same way.

I remember watching Jorge in fucking jean shorts beating the shit out of people in backyards in Miami. Really? And then he goes and fights in the UFC and other MMA bodies or whatever they're called. Bellator. Bellator, Strikeforce, these types of things. Amasses a good career but a bunch of losses as well, some unfortunate ones. Gets the shot to fight this guy named Darren Till on a big card in London. Knocks out Darren Till. Oh, my fault.

Yeah, Darren lost to Tyron Woolley before that. Then he goes up against this guy named Ben Askren. Now, Ben Askren was 19-0, undefeated. He was in one championship in Bellator. He's a strictly wrestling guy. And he was an amazing troll. And he would really hype up his fights via trolling and talking shit about his opponents.

And he just won every single fight in dominant fashion would really hype up his fights via trolling and like talking shit about his opponents and uh and he just won every single fight in dominant fashion until you know this last one and he engages in this big troll fest with jorge masvidal and it really gets under jorge's skin jorge is upset he starts to talk crazy shit back he's like i want to end ben askren's bloodline like i want to punish him so much i want to destroy him i'm going to make him quit this sport i'm going to go i mean it is like visceral what i'm saying and the fight starts and horny masvidal is smiling he's hanging out on the cage and when they say fight he takes a step to his right and then charges at Ben Askren and does a flying knee and knocks him out in five seconds.

Tiger knee. Yeah, flying knee it's called. Made famous by Sagats. So what I find so fascinating about this is that every UFC fight I've ever seen starts with sportsmanship. It starts with sportsmanship. It starts with a punching or slapping of hands in the middle of the ring, and then you begin. But Ben Askren pissed off Jorge so much that he didn't want to slap hands.

And because they didn't slap hands, he was able to get a running start into the knee, and then ends up knocking him out. So the shit that Asker was talking before the fight cost him the fight. All that trolling. If he was just like,

hey, I can't wait to fight you. Good luck. Let's do it. He would have won because Asker and the thing about him is his wrestling background

is superior to everybody. So the second he gets a hold of you, he just holds you down and keeps you down. But Masvidal was so fucking upset. Do we have a clip of it?

I want you guys to watch this. He was going for a takedown. And pause real quick. Pause real quick. So the goal of any, what a wrestler does is they do what's called shoot. Shoot the leg. Yeah. Shoot means pause.

So what shoot means is you go for the legs, you grab the legs, and you try to put somebody on his back. Okay. Right? That is the natural instinct. Much similar to like a boxer, when you're put out of your comfort zone, you go to your most natural instinct. Right? So let's say your background is boxing, right? Right.

And I push you in your chest, immediately you're going to throw your hands up. Right. Right? If you're someone who's into like jujitsu or some shit, you might try to grab my wrists. Right. If you're someone who's into jujitsu or some shit, you might try to grab my wrist. So when you present a stimulus that's different than normal, you go into what you're most comfortable doing, which is shooting for a wrestler. Now watch what happens.

This is un-fucking-real. I mean, and fight. One step to the side. Boom! Night-night! Stiff as a board. Night-night! Stiff as a fucking board. Look at his legs.

Holy shit. Look at this guy, dude. Ugh, this is unreal. As soon as he went down to try and shoot, bam! Right? So he sees him, charge at him. Now, what you're supposed to do when someone does a jump, a flying knee at you, I was asking some of the guys at the kickboxing gym.

He goes, you're supposed to either create distance with your hand and step back or step to one of the sides. But since he's put out of his comfort zone, he goes to his most natural instinct, which is shoot down for the take down. Look at that shit. Bang! Night-night booty hole type. Oh my god. Fastest knockout

UFC history. So they interviewed him like a few minutes before we went to tape and he doesn't remember the ring, we went to tape And he doesn't remember The ring Doesn't remember the fight Doesn't remember anything Yeah it's over Doesn't remember shit

Wait do they have that Where is that I think they The interview just went up Literally like on the way here I was reading it Funny tweet from him After he lost

He just said Well that sucked Can you find the interview Of him right afterwards He was basically saying I don't think it was After the interview Because I think they

Washed him to the hospital But they just talked to him today it's monday and uh yeah he doesn't remember anything from that night what was he saying to remember getting to the ring doesn't remember to fight doesn't remember getting knocked out doesn't remember shit doesn't remember waking up at a hospital holy shit what did he say that was so offensive to jorge it was more like i'm not exactly sure i'll be honest and it wasn't like Conor McGregor-esque, I don't think, where he was like insulting religion or that kind of stuff. I think it was more just trolling him in general. I'm not exactly sure.

I saw one of the trolls where he was like, oh, why are you mad? You mad. All the reporters are asking you why you mad. You know when you tell somebody how they're feeling, that shit gets under the basket. But he had such a badass fucking line at the press conference. What'd he say? This dude. And he was just talking about, you know, everybody loves hyping up fights and talking shit.

But, you know, now people are going to see when you run into a real motherfucker, like, you know, maybe you'll watch your mouth. And, you know, I don't, he's like, I've had a lot of fights in my career. And, you know, I respect most of my fighters, but this is the one guy I don't like so like I'm gonna have to deal with me even after this he's like if I see him in Whole Foods I'm gonna slap him up! Not in the streets! Not if I see him in Whole Foods! If I see you in Whole Foods I gotta come and slap you around! Like that is real shit! Where's he from Masvidal? Miami. Miami yeah. What's his nationality? Cuban okay. That's a safe bet. Yeah, you're right.

Do you see the look on his face before? Yeah. I don't think I've seen any, but this guy's over 50 professional fights. Dog, he takes a step to the side like he's about to holler at a girl. Look at his face right here. I don't think I've seen anybody more comfortable prior to a fight than this guy. Look at his face. Look how he steps to the side like he's about to talk to a girl.

Sonny's leaning. He's relaxed. Leaning against the cage. Hands behind his back. This guy is built for us. His Instagram, I think, and Twitter is game bread. Like he was bred by this game.

But it's so true. Like what an amazing thing to have this level of comfort when you're literally... Put your stuff to the side. ...life is on the line. Boo! Now, a tweet comes out from Dustin Poirier.

What were you saying, Alex? No, just for those watching on YouTube, sorry, we can't show the replay because they'll take down our video. Right, right. So, for Dustin Poirier, who is the UFC champ, right, he's going to fight Khabib. Dustin tweets after the fight. He goes, last night, Masvidal told me at dinner that they'd been working on the flying knee and that they were going to use the flying knee when they started the fight.

He goes, Mike Brown, who's the coach of Masvidal, told me last night at dinner that they were working on... He was going to start this fight with a flying knee and showed me video on Mike's phone of him practicing. And then that video eventually came out.

So this was all by design and it's shocking. Oh, man, look at that. That is just fucking unbelievable. And then he tweeted a screenshot. Oh, here it is. Here's the video. This is the day before. Or two days before.

Step to the side. Boom! Wow. Wow. Call this shot some Babe Ruth shit. Even the step to the side. That is fucking dope. You got to respect that.

Oh, 100%. And I bet you the reason he stepped to that side is because he knows that Askren shoots left. Right? Because you shoot to one side, one or the other. He probably shoots left because he wants to get you on his right shoulder. So he steps to the right

knowing it's going to be on that side. It's all fucking knee to the head. Do we have that video of Askren talking? No. No?

Damn. Guys, can you find that video of Askren? Yeah, I found it. So I got to see that. Just fucking unreal, man oh that whole card was fucking unreal dude like i mean the good yo john jones fight was incredible the guy that john jones is fighting they don't know what the injury was maybe they know what it was now but his knee was

popping out the entire fight yeah and he won the fight on one of the scorecards wow dude it was unreal he'd throw a kick you'd see the knees slide out of the scorecards. Wow. Dude, it was unreal. He'd throw a kick. You'd see the knee slide out of place, slide back, and he kept throwing it. You saw he was wobbly a lot of the fight. That's crazy. Son. John can't really talk shit after this. Nothing.

You've got to put some respect on my man's name. Thiago Santos was his name. The girl fight, Holly Holm versus Amanda Nunes. Amanda Nunes kicks her in the face, knocks her out. Right. I mean, like, you don't see chicks having power, bro. Usually the thing with chick fights is it's just tons of, like, contact, but they don't have any power, so they can't finish anybody.

Right. This bitch finishes chicks like a dude. I mean, we still don't see chicks having power. Say what? We still don't see chicks having power. You what? We still don't see chicks having power. You see Nunes? Chuck, Nunes has knocked people out

one hit or quick. Oh, Nunes is the goat. You're saying that's a dude. Uh, mm-mm-mm-mm. Yo,

you might be right, so we gotta check that clip. We need to, you know, Nah, she's the goat, though. That's her performance

in a hands-on vlog and she's a guy. Cyborg? I don't know. Nunes is better than Cyborg, bro. Cyborg, goat, though. That's her performance in a hands-on program. She's a guy. Her and Cyborg, I don't know. Dude has better than Cyborg. Cyborg, dude, bro. That's a scary bitch. That's a crazy one.

Scary bitch. It was fucking unreal, man. Like, what an amazing. Night of fights. And I'm a boxing guy who's, like, reluctant to let UFC take over. But you got to give credit where credit's due, man. I think there's a part of you that likes like, you know, you like the sweet science, and I think

you're starting to get into like the sweet science of like mixed martial arts as well. Yeah. So that's probably what's, you know, it's not just brutal fucking human cockfighting. There's a science to it. There's a science to it. And this shit was, it was a great night of fights, dude. I gotta give credit where

credit was due. Look, before we get into this Sylvia Sage porn interview, I just want to let you guys know, Toronto, this weekend, July 13th, first show sold out. Second show is a few seats left. Maybe by the time this is out, it might be sold out. Who knows? Is this weekend? This weekend, Toronto. Pull the time this is out, it might be sold out. Who knows? Is this weekend?

This weekend, Toronto. Pull the fuck up. It's going to be crazy, man. Thank you all so much for selling out the first show. Hopefully, we get the second one sold out. But go spread the word. Tell the friends. Also, we got Montreal.

I'm going to be there. I'm going to be doing the Nasty Show for the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival. But I also got two of my own shows I'm going to be hosting. We got the Inside Jokes live show, which is going to be amazing. That's on the 25th. And then we got Unsafe Sets, where I'm just going to have comics to do their wildest jokes. We're taking everybody's phone, all that kind of shit. Turn it off so you can really let loose.

That's going to be the 27th. Let's sell both those out. If you're from Montreal, spread the word. Asshole Army, I want y'all in there. Then we got Washington, D.C., Chicago, Thalia Hall, man. Y'all sold it out. So if you guys want us to add another show, let us know, man. But that's going to be amazing.

Then we got Russia and Australia. More dates being added. DeAndreSchultz.com, Matador Tour. Thank y'all so much for being a part of this, man. It really means a lot. And if you all want that fashion merch, we sell the fashion merch before the show in Toronto. Remember, before the show, go get there early because there's too many people

for us to do it only after. We only bring a limited number of them shirts. Go get them shits early. Kaz, what you got? Yeah, this Saturday, I'll be in Augusta, Georgia getting back in my color commentary bag. I'll be commentating the Nike Peach Jam in

Augusta, Georgia for the Nike EYBL Some of the top players going to Duke, North Carolina Kentucky, NC State All those guys will be there And you might have seen me post a picture Outside WWE Studios today So I can't talk about what's in the future But what I can talk about is this Sunday

I will be on the WWE Watch Along With my guy Pat McAfee Former Indianapolis Colts punter Will be doing the watch along of Extreme Rules In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania And a bunch of WWE guys And there'll be a lot more stuff Coming down the pipe

But yeah, check that out Check me on SNY tomorrow Well today, Wednesday and Thursday And yeah Dates, we're still working on Ticket Links. They're being a little slow with the venues, but for now, September 6th, Secret Group in Houston, September 13th,

Piano Fight in San Francisco, September 19th, The Comedy Store in LA, and tentatively September 7th in Austin, two shows in each city, so come through. We're going to let you know, hit you with the Ticket Links as soon as it's live. Got them, got them. Alright guys, so without further ado, let me just say that this second half of the episode, well, and the first, but also the second half specifically with our porn star bestie Sylvia Sage is brought

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Let's get flagrant. Without further ado, I present to you part two of this episode with our illustrious pornographic princess, Sylvia Sage. Keep it tight. We have a very special guest today, and our special guest is here with us. Some of you guys know her from the internets. Some of you guys know her maybe from a comedy club as well. We have Renaissance woman. It's a good title. Good title. Sylvia Sage. I'll take it. Welcome.

Porn star extraordinaire and stand-up comedian. Thank you, yeah. You and I know each other from Nashville. We do, yeah. You showed up to my show with your friend. Trying to get time. Trying to get time. How long, like five minutes?

I didn't know. I was like, fuck it, let's just go to the club. Can I cuss? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I don't know. Absolutely. And I thought, yeah, I'll go and try to get time and then they were like the headliner's already on but you can go watch him i'm like yeah we don't got nothing else to do see that we don't have anything else to then they came up afterwards but now look at you though

you're at a better platform yeah no he killed the show i mean i was rolling the whole time and thank you i will tell you getting to hear stand-up comedy like that where you destroy the room, it just makes me be a better comic. And I had a better set that night because of watching you. So you were performing that night in a strip club. In a strip club. And we're going to get to all this. You have another friend who I

follow on Instagram now. What is her name? Lila Hart. Lila Hart, yeah. And she is like Spine M Bifida. I know Lila. She's a stand-up from L.A. She's a stand-up in L. Hart. Lila Hart, yeah. And she is like Spine M Bifida. I know Lila. She's a stand-up from L.A. She's a stand-up in L.A. Yeah. Right. Sweet girl.

She was opening for you at the strip club, Joyce. Yeah, Deja Vu. Deja Vu. Yeah. We had a pretty wild time at Deja Vu. Yeah, it was great. Until we had to fly out. It sucked.

You guys had to fly. Nashville was a crazy city. Yeah, we were just talking about this. I'm like, I really need to go. I've never been. Absolutely absurd. Okay, so you guys come to the show guys come to the show you're trying to get time right i thought you guys were trying to get laid i'm gonna be honest with you i swear you wait in the line to see me after

the show i'm about to say like that's usually how that story goes you were hype usually hey we should hang out later do you know what i mean i i'm okay, you guys have some weird midget normal person thing, because Lila is a midget, right? I was like, what is going on here? What is happening? This is different. Then I look on your Instagram, because I think you sent me a message on Instagram,

and I'm like, oh shit, she does porn. This is going to be super wild. You say you have a comedy show later that night, where you're also stripping. Yes. Nude. Down to nothing. That's what nude is.

Yeah. I've heard. You're doing stand-up butt naked? No. I did stand-up first. I did 20 minutes of stand-up, and then I had to do two dances, like two feature dances. Oh, shit. I had never done two dances like two feature dances I had never done anything like that before and I will never again I am NOT a shipper I

have white girl moves all day long this is actually kind of groundbreaking like who wouldn't pay for that though I mean you wouldn't know I'll show up for the stripping completely separate. They should be. But there's ways that both of that could work, no? Because if the stand-up is terrible, at least you get to see her naked at the end of the day. Yeah, but you don't want to dance at that point. Did you have to dance after bombing in front of people?

Well, I didn't bomb, but I would have had to dance if I bombed. Yeah, the comedy actually went well the second night. The first night, not so well. They had never done anything like this before. So their microphones were crap. Like, the audience couldn't even hear us. So they're literally staring at us like, why aren't you taking off your clothes? I'd be confused.

Like, when you finish the joke, are guys, like, handing you dollars? I mean, they definitely, guys, were tipping me while I was doing stand-up, which was weird. Yeah. Yeah. And then, of of course the more money came when you take off your clothes obviously because that's what we're here for I just don't know the tipping structure for comedy I feel weird after shows when people try to like throw me 20 bucks people try to tip you after a comedy show

it's just their way of being like hey I really enjoyed this I need to let you know that I enjoyed it and I always turn it back but do you sell merch? We do. So buy your merch. We sell to fashion. We call it fashion. Yeah, they could do it. Sometimes it's just a sometimes it's people

they feel like you give them a lot of value in their life. Right. I know. I get that. You get that. So they just want to help you out in whatever way you want. I mean, this happens all the time with porn stars. Yeah. We have to make like wish lists. I have to update a wish list every single week. Because people are just buying your shit.

Like Amazon or something? Really? It's crazy. So you have a public wish list? Yeah. Do you just put it on your Instagram bio or something? And they just buy it out? It's on my Twitter and on my Instagram. There's a link to it. What's the craziest thing that you've been bought?

Oh my gosh. How's a link to it. What's the craziest thing that you've been bought? Oh my gosh. Well, how big are we talking? I mean, my bedroom furniture, my trip to Australia was purchased. I've done a trip to Mexico that was purchased. Question. Do you have to... My couch.

Do you have to fuck for these purchases? No, not for these purchases. So they're just doing it... Not for these purchases. You hit the Vs. Very specific. Very specific. Come in early. purchases no not for these purchases so they're just doing it these purchases so so you go in and you have and you have a situation where guys don't want anything in return yeah but they're just buying you furniture yeah that is another level of insecurity. Like imagine not even feeling like you deserve to fuck someone who does have sex for money. Right. I need to meet these guys.

How are they still alive when suicide is an option? Oh my gosh. That level. That got dark real fast. I'm just saying that level. Don't kill yourself, guys. I know you need furniture, but like. Oh, here are the pixels right here. Yeah, there it is. Oh my God. Okay, let's see. You got a globe? Yeah. I'm just saying that level of dark gray shit I know you need furniture but like oh here the wish list

is right here yeah there it is oh my god okay let's see you got a globe yeah what are you gonna do with that globe

let's stop this let's stop this stop right now the top of your wish list I gotta update shit all the time I know because this is horrible

I love globes because I like to travel yeah you don't get to travel with the globe yeah but I get to travel with the globe. Yeah, but I get to know all the places I'm going. I have like Kansas education over here.

You could Google all these places. And it's beautiful. It's pretty to put as a decoration. No, that should not be the top of the list. If you see my hat, you'll know what it's all about. You've got to put some shit that makes you seem like not a porn star. But it's whiskey. So this is Warella, women's sexy lingerie. You want put some shit that makes you seem like not a porn star. Okay. So this is Warella,

women's sexy lingerie. You want lingerie. Of course, always. Why? Because I have to have new lingerie every single movie I do. People will notice

if you wore some shit before. You have to bring your own wardrobe to the movies? For, definitely your own bra and panties. Only a few companies supply bra and panties.

Most of the companies will supply like, if you're gonna be a doctor that day, they'll supply that or whatever. Would you even try? That's what I'm going to say a lot. Hold on. They don't expect the porn stars

to bring their own doctors out there. Right. I love my smock at home. I love my smock and my stethoscope at home. I'm sorry, guys. Look, I've got my Glade plug-ins. I'll just take my scrubs with me to work today. Oh, this is insane.

Okay. All right, the Glade plug-ins. You can buy yourself plug-ins, son. Yeah, but why would I if somebody else will? Because he'll buy you something better. Well, they've already bought it. It gives them little things to go for. You know what this reminds me of?

Air purifiers. Why? Because I have two cats. So I'm like, yeah, I like clean cats. Yeah, I got an air purifier. Yeah, I like clean air. Yeah, I'm about to make one of these lists. Nobody likes it. Anybody might.

You never know. I broke a bowl the other day, so I need new bowls. So what happens in life? I'm curious. You know what this is? I'm curious. Hold on. What happens in life when you realize that you can just put the things you need on a public site, right?

And then guys will just buy them for you. And then you hear women talking about how hard it is to be a woman. I never say that. I always say my life is super easy. Are you kidding me? You know, I bought an old man in the bar a drink last night. And we weren't even talking. He was just this old dude that reminded me of my dad,

and I could tell he had a hard life, and nobody was really talking to him. And I was like, I told the bartender, I said, don't tell him who it is. Just, I'm going to buy his drink, because no one probably ever buys his drinks, and people buy my drinks all the time. All the time.

So, let me return it to this old man. You're karma, man. Now, you, this is what I find interesting. You entered porn late. At 30. 30 years old. Yeah. Do you mind sharing your age right now?

35. No shit. 35 years old. You enter porn at 30. Yeah. Before porn, you're doing? I worked in medicine. I worked in hospitals.

So you actually did have The scrubs She did She really did have Backup scrubs at home Yeah That's why she doesn't Need the scrubs

She needs a lingerie She's just a nerdy doctor With no key pain Medicine is like Medical sales No so I did I had my degree As an x-ray tech

So I worked in Like cardiology And I did stress testing And EKGs And that kind of stuff. Son. So what makes you? It's a real one.

I thought she was in love. Bye, Lisa. You don't got the degree for this Indian. So like what university did you go to? Like where did you study? Oh, I didn't go to a university. I got kicked out of the first college I went to. And then I get kicked out of a lot of places um and uh and then i went to a technical college

and got my two-year degree so that's why it's an x-ray tech yeah like a small question okay so we're back here you uh you you you have this regular job you're making good money you're making i was making like 70 000 a year. That's pretty good money. First of all, for a woman, that's very good money. For a woman. You're an attractive woman. You're in where? Los Angeles?

No, I was living in Kansas City at the time. That's a millionaire. You're a millionaire. Kansas City. Okay, so you're making $70,000 a year in Kansas City, right? Which is very good money. That's like making $200,000 a year in New York, probably. It's just cost of living type City, right? Which is very good money. That's like making 200 grand a year in New York, probably. It's just cost of living type shit, right?

Yeah. Okay, you can live a phenomenal life. You're not pushed into pornography for desperation. Now, were you good at fucking before you got in? I was slutty. Meaning you would sleep around? Yeah. Okay, you would sleep around.

Now, would you get offers? Would you get offers for sex for money? No, because I don't think I was presenting it that way. Right. Life is all about how you- Do you fuck doctors? All sorts of doctors. Right, right, right, right.

I'm still fucking all sorts of doctors. Love it. So what was the light bulb moment when you're doing the x-ray tech and you're just like, you know what? No, I actually left for comedy. So I started doing comedy at 28. So I left the medical field. And then you go to LA to do comedy.

Yeah. And while you're in LA, are you still doing medical stuff or no? No. How are you surviving in LA? I was bartending and I got a job working at a construction company doing their books. Okay. So you're doing a construction company books. You can make a living still.

You're surviving. Barely. Barely surviving. Barely barely surviving now desperation comes in Now the offer of it see wasn't desperation It was I had a girlfriend who was staying with me in LA and she was doing porn Okay, and it wasn't I wasn't desperate, but I saw her make 10 grand in a week and I was like No, but I thought if I did this I could make just a few porns a month and then i could do all the stand-up i wanted you know i could financially support myself to go do all these shows you know

so that's how i felt yeah i felt that about like college gigs like i would do like one college gig a month yeah that's how i feel about it i'm like it's just a way to fund my comedy career but then i kind of fell in love with porn and i love doing it the money is second to none i get to travel all over doing whatever the fuck i want whenever i want okay you know so let's get back into this so you start doing the porn you do you do you feel insecure going in there like these guys have had their dicks sucked by the best am i one of the best i mean i definitely felt insecure in the beginning just because i was a lot older than everybody right everybody And I wasn't as confident with my body As I am now

So it was just a learning curve in the beginning Did you have fake titties before? Oh yeah, I've had my boobs since I was 26 Okay, so you were ready for it Okay, so you go in First scene, do you think you do well? Yes and no, it was with my girlfriend That was already in porn.

Andrew would like to know the name of that first scene. I haven't watched any of your work besides what you showed me in the club. Oh, okay. So when we were in the strip club I was like,

what do you know about? Do your research. And I was like, what are you known for? Give me your best video. Yeah, and it's my true incest. True?

Well, it's not called true incest, but in porn you have to do the stepmommy thing because it's legal. That's what I saw. I saw a lot of the stepmom stuff. Yeah, but I have one where it's my actual son. Of course, I have no children. But that one, because I play a drunk mom who's seducing her son, it's like-

Her actual son. Yeah, my actual son. And it's like the highest ranking film that I have. Question. People ask me about it all the time. They say, you know, in acting, that it's really about getting into the character. Right. And believing it.

Oh, I can play a drunk woman real well. Can you play a mom that sucks her son's dick? Can you fuck your son? I mean, I don't have a son, so sure, why not? But did you have to embody that? Are you like, what would my son's dick taste like? Like, what would he like? But did you have to embody that?

Are you like, what would my son's dick taste like? Like, what would he like? Yeah. I mean, I definitely had to sell the role of like, you know, this is just our secret. Like, don't tell anybody. So you have to actually act. You got to like really be about the craft. Yeah. Right.

I do a lot of movies. Now, do you say don't tell your dad? Yeah. Or you're like, because your dad is still there. Yeah. Right. Okay. Now, when you're sucking your son's dick, like, there's still part of you that wants

to, like, raise him, right? Like, there's still part, you want to, like, teach him how to get his dick sucked. You are raising him. You want to raise your child. Yeah. You want to make sure that he's not getting his dick sucked like a pussy. Right. So are you, like, telling him how to do it, where to put his hand on your head?

No, not really. Yeah. You just want to please your son. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. Wow. It's just, it's like, I say to him a lot, like, this is how mommy needs to feel nice.

Like, daddy doesn't pay any attention to me. Daddy doesn't let me suck his dick. Yeah. What daddy is this? Yeah, right? Yeah. Okay. So that scene is the biggest scene because people are fucking creeps, obviously.

Okay. And you operate in this world where you probably interact with a lot more of them yes okay now specifics you're operating in this sexual um deviance world you're getting free things i'm sure there's offers for sex for money right now we don't have to confirm that because that would be illegal and you would never do anything like that right but does that exist and is it prevalent in the porn world? It does exist. What percentage of income do you think that makes up for most porn stars? 80.

80%? God damn. Let me clarify. 80% of income for most porn stars is not made from those porns. That's almost advertising. That's what I'm about to say. Exactly what it is. It's advertising those porns, that's almost advertising. That's almost the same way as that porn. That's exactly what it is.

It's advertising for escorting. High dollar. High dollar escorting. So these people that can afford these escorts. How much money are we talking as far as high dollar? Not you, of course,

but a hypothetical. Yeah, like from things you've heard. Bill be a bitch. It really just depends. How much would she charge? I don't know who that is, but it depends on the girl. It depends on the girl,

but nothing is going to happen for less than $1,200. So nothing meaning, $1,200 is where blowjobs start. That's like the minimum. And the minimum is blowjob or that's a minimum for us to interact? And interact. Okay, interact means fucking. Yeah. Means I come.

Yeah. Okay, so $1,200, I come. Is there, what if it's, what is the most that it goes to? What if like some like Dubai prince wants to shit on a table? I was going to say, if you stay the night with somebody, it's going to cost you $10,000. Wait, there are guys that pay for you to stay? Jeez. Hey.

I thought they paid for you to leave. Hey, why don't you come take up some room on my bed? You're crazy. So you have to cuddle with these guys? I mean, it depends. It depends if they're like crazy coke heads and you're partying and they're doing their thing or whatever. This is all within your jurisdiction.

If you don't feel comfortable, you can just dip, right? Always. Always. You always have a final say. Every woman always does in anything. What were you saying? Hypothetically, you've heard the weirdest thing that was paid for and how much. It doesn't have to be you.

Oh, no. Guys pay for you to shit on their chest. They pay for you to walk on their balls with high heels. Oh, back to the shitting. I'm in the balls. You know that you're going to shit on some guy's chest. Yeah. Now, is there a meal?

You have a Chipotle? What are you doing that you want to make sure you have a good shit? A lot of corn? Yeah. I don't know. I guess you'd have to ask the guy what he's into. Oh, you'd never shit on a chest? I would never.

I can't even poop in public, let alone in the public. This is private. Very intimate. Yeah, no. I don't want anyone around. Okay, fair enough. Okay, so back to this. 80% of the income.

So the whole porn industry, this industry that we thought that so many porn stars were making money from these videos and these contracts with Vivid and all that kind of stuff, in reality is advertising so they can do private escorting gigs. And these go from anywhere from $1,200 for a night to $10,000. Or more. Or more. $20,000? I don't know. It depends on the girl.

So there are some girls that can charge up to $20,000. Abso-fucking-lutely. Really? Of course. You try to get Stormy Daniels into a room for a night, you know she's going to charge you $50,000. Who? I don't know.

You think Stormy's still doing it? I don't know. I can't speak on her behalf. But why wouldn't you? Now you're back in demand, right? Right. Now it's like 100%. Right.

Now, there are certain, like we had Lisa Ann here, and Lisa claims that she's never done that. Some people don't. Right. Yeah. So, all right. So back to sports a little bit. Jimmy Garoppolo last year.

Personal. Personal. He was, listen, I'll tie it back. Cut his mic, son. Cut his mic, son. Cut his mic, son. I'm going to tie it back, you asshole. I got you. I got you.

Jimmy Garoppolo was dating an adult film star. You want me to finish, motherfucker? Stay that shit up. Stay that shit up. He has no idea. Ain't nobody give a fuck about that shit. Jesus. What's the name of the adult film star That Jimmy Garoppolo was with

Lexi something I don't know It was Fuck Yeah Anyway Retired porn star They were like

Damn near dating Ed and please You know You know dating They went on one date They were damn near like Together for a while Right

So like For somebody who's making That much money Right Right We're talking about That level of person That like reaches out to people

And it never comes out As far as famous people that pay these people. You're talking about your doctors, your IRS guys, that type of shit. I mean, I can't speak for you. Definitely worth the payout. She signed NDAs. I want to know about these NDAs and how ironclad they are because I think Stormy Daniels is a fucking... She's Benedict Arnold of this entire service. I agree with that.

I agree with that statement. I think if you did sign an NDA, it's your point to shut up. Gotcha. And that's what you got paid for. Can we get back to fucking and not talking about Garoppolo, please? Well, fuck you. All right. Okay.

So there's a situation. I can't believe 8% are doing it. Now, some of these people say that they're not doing it. Yeah. Is it a chance that they're lying and that they actually really are? I have no idea. It's a lot of money to turn down. I can't speak for these people.

Yeah. Right? It is a lot. I don't know. Yeah. A lot of money. Yeah. We're talking about like hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.

Yeah. For something that you're already doing and no one's going to see. Do these people have, the people that do it, not you, of course, but do these people that do it have reoccurring clients or is it a just random thing? You go get a phone call or a DM. I mean, it's both. Yeah, definitely both. And I think it's up to anyone's personal preference what they're going to see and what they're not going to see. Do you feel an expectation to deliver $1,200 worth of pussy?

I mean, if I were doing it, I would like to put on a show. Yeah, I'm a show queen. I love being someone's fantasy. That's why I do porn. That's why I'm so sold in doing porn. Nothing makes me feel more powerful than knowing that I'm keeping your attention. Really? Yeah.

Does it make you feel sad that I haven't jerked off to your porn sometimes? Yeah, sometimes people tell me that and they're like I've never looked up your stuff I'm like, oh why you don't find me attractive like that really? Yeah, like I watch your shit I've watched your I've scrolled through your videos. Did you jerk off to it is the question? Did you? Wait, wait, wait. Wait, did you? Did you now?

That's a whole different conversation right there. I'm not going to say I haven't. I'm not going to say I haven't. You haven't popped into my mind when I'm masturbating. Funny, sexy. Of course. Yeah. So maybe it was.

Maybe you were after Dick after that comedy show. I think you kind of owe her. I owe her what? Like you have to like go look up her shit. I have to jerk off now? Yeah, at this point. I'm not gonna do it to the one where it's your son I think that's too weird

you can pick another I'll pick another one go step son step I could do step son is like I'm just gonna fuck with him step okay but one person

doesn't just pop into my brain when I'm masturbating like multiple people would just pop in and out it's a montage yeah it's a montage right well you didn't have to

take that away from me you could have just let everybody think there's a video of him piece of shit there's a video of him piece of shit there's a video of him shirt and no no shirt no pants

so you want to find that I haven't found that one oh that's out I haven't searched it that's a patreon I think it's a patreon I think so the premium feed episode

maybe not you know what I'm disappointed about with you though is that you haven't done a Netflix special yeah yeah yeah they don't

fuck with me why I don't know sometimes that's how Netflix fucks with me they should disappointed about with you, though, is that you haven't done a Netflix special. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they don't fuck with me. Why? I don't know. Sometimes that's how the cookie crumbles. Netflix fucks with me. They should certainly fuck with you. Did you do a Netflix? I haven't done a Netflix special, but I'm teaming up with Tommy Chong's people, and we've got

a project that we're doing. That's sick. Yeah. Congrats. Is it stand-up? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm like a huge weed comic, so I'm in the weed scene real hard.

Okay. This is part of the is part of a lot of money off vices that's your shit yeah you're really that's all it is though like it's everybody's bro i did comedy at a strip club and then got naked afterwards you think that i don't fucking like i'll say yes to most things you know what are your nose's? That's a great question. Yeah, that's a great question. Ooh, I mean, no more flying frontier.

That's a big no for me. I could have told you that. Do you know how horrible an airline needs to be that a girl's willing to get shit on and is not willing to fly it again? This is the ride I'm sorry.

The new low for an airline. Wow. This is the ride she says no to. This is the new low for an airline. Wow. This is the ride she says no to. Holy shit. Wait, I didn't say I'd be shit on. Pull that one off the table, too. Yeah, I'm not into that. She'll shit on people.

No, I won't even do that. You wouldn't shit on people? No shit, but that's because you're scared about it. It's not because it's below you. It's just you don't feel comfortable shitting. If physically I could do it, I wouldn't. Yeah. Okay, so what is the no?

Anal? No, I love anal. Anal you're fine with. I think you did tell me that first night as well. Yeah, super into it. You weren't really shooting your shot. I'm super, yeah. Okay, so what is the no? Anal? No, I love anal. Anal, you're fine with? I think you did tell me that first night as well. Yeah, super into it. You were really shooting your shot. I'm super honest. I was just missing that shit.

I'm just really honest in life. Oh, God. That's all it is. We're very oblivious. I can't tell. When a girl's trying to get me to fuck her in the ass, I can't tell at all. I'm completely, I literally do not know. Like, you were showing me videos of you getting fucked in the ass.

I was like, whoa, that's good skills. You know what I mean? You're really good at that. You can fuck in the ass. Yeah like whoa that's good skills so uh so anal yes what about uh girls obviously yes yeah you know what i hated girls but you're not really into girls wait that's what i will tell you yes and no i'm not i already know i wasn't in the beginning but certain girls have changed my mind i don't believe it so now i'm with certain girls elena lopez is my number one and she was so sexy look her up and put her on the screen oh you will you really like her love her no she has this amazing tongue she ate my pussy better than anyone

yes she's been on adam uh adam she's got that crazy long tongue her jump elena lopez dude look at her tongue it's fucking insane and she used to to be a Mormon. She's got two kids. But you would never know. Wait, she has two kids? Yeah. A Lopez Mormon? They made it down there. Oh, yeah.

They got Hawaiians, bro. They have Mormons everywhere. And she is super dirty, and it's really hot. So when someone has a super long tongue like that, I don't have a long tongue. I have a very short tongue. Right. Do you like the tongue to penetrate? So is that first photo right there? Oh, I guess on the top. Oh, this one right here? Oh, she would look good. No right do you like the tongue to penetrate so it's that first photo

right there or i guess all the tops oh this one right here oh she look good no but go to go to the tongue just type in 24 two kids at 24 look at it oh yeah look at it where is it where dude yeah yeah yeah i get it right totally got. Is she penetrating with the tongue? Yeah. And you enjoy that? So much so. More so than a... She made such great eye contact,

and I was just so into it. Wait, you had eye contact during the pussy eating? Yeah. How do you even do that? How could you not? You just look down. I'm not that. With a tongue that long?

Shit. Oh, yeah. She'd be having a conversation with you and then you'd just be like... way to fly nearby okay so so so you have this lesbian experience with her and she's so good at the act of sex you find yourself sexually attracted to yeah to women now or to specifically specific women yeah because i've been into other scenes with other women like but i'm but I don't go into a bar going, oh, I'm going to pick up a chick.

Have you ever gone home with a girl from a bar? No. Do you still fuck guys that you meet? Not really. Not really? Did that kind of kill it for you? Honestly, it's just because I make income with my vagina, and so I don't want it to be sick in any way.

And I can't trust the general public. Protect your investment. Yeah, I'm tested every two weeks by blood and urine. You also told me that. Yeah. You were really trying to fuck. You were telling me you're clean, showing me you're- No.

She had no clue. She stopped sort of saying she jerked off to your stand-up. You also were like, we got to leave early in the morning. Were you saying that so you could come back to my apartment before? There was no chance. I had to fly out at midnight. How oblivious are you? I'm so oblivious, bro.

When I thought I was fixing up before you do. Nah, I'm just saying. I'm clueless when girls hit on me. I'm really close. Because I thought you were just a fan of my comedy. I didn't know that you wanted dick. I didn't even know your comedy until I saw it that night. But then, of course, I am a fan now.

Right, right, right. But I didn't know who you were. And that's why you wanted that dick? Yo, I guess you're right. I'm mentioning your name. Yeah, bro, we did it. To somebody who's in my new account. I kind of feel like, I mean, you say you don't, like, fuck, like, regular guys anymore for,

like, work. Like, I think at this point, you guys kind of have to fuck now, right? I mean, I'll try it. I can't. I mean, you kind of have to now, right? Like, I'm saying. Why not? Why not?

What's there to lose? For the culture. Come back for another episode. We'll talk about it. Listen. We'll come back and report on it. How about this? We can fuck.

Patreon. You have to shit in front of me. Wow. Yeah, have to. Those are the, them's the rules you have to take a full shit in front of me door open door open you could be on the toilet it doesn't have to be on the table or anything yeah i don't want it but you have a hard one for me i know it's about vulnerability like this is very vulnerable for me do you know what i mean, here I am thinking that you're just a fan of my work when you really were just

objectifying me the whole time. Now, that's very difficult for me to accept. So you have to accept something difficult, too. So we go out. We have a nice dinner. I don't like this anymore. Eggplant parm. She's like, don't treat me nice.

I just want to fuck. Watch this. Watch this. How about this? We don't even have to fuck. You just have to take a shit. Just take a shit. Wait,

we went from the things I wanted to now the things I don't want. You thought you were kinky. There it is. God damn. You know,

that's just it. I never thought I was kinky. I thought I was slutty. And then I got into porn and realized that I'm a prude. Like, I didn't know how much was out there. Like, I was a little blind to things, to be honest with you. Yeah, I mean, who doesn't? Everyone likes fucking working things.

But, like, you found maybe some, like, fun in it, some validation in it. You found out you're that percentage of people in the world that people want to watch fuck right i found that out and i was like wow this is great i'm saying that's a crazy feeling before you were in porn when you were just living in kansas and you were like making this money and doing that stuff you go out to the bar and it wasn't a big deal for you to just hook up with a guy that you met yeah i would do that in heartbeat in a heartbeat yeah like hook up with guys it's kind of like my mission to be honest with you you'd go out to the bar that night. It's not a good night if you go home without

bringing someone home. Talk about that. Is that something common with women? Do they go out hunting? I mean I certainly did. I was definitely a hunter and I would go out and I would go to like a bar or a party or whatever and I would wait it out and I would see who all the other women were into and then

that's the person I would go after. regardless if I was sold on them or not. I wanted to be the one who won. You needed that validation. Yeah. I was like, oh, that's who everybody wants? Yeah. I'm into it. And I will take him home.

That's my goal. And what was your most salacious line to take a guy home? We're talking about it is 10 seconds left in the fourth quarter. You're down by two what is your girls there they're also trying to take this guy home that's a great chris rock bit about take you home from a wild night of missionary woman and be like wow that's a nice woman i want to meet someone just like her right and then women will see a dude and be like, that's a nice man. I want him.

And I will step on that bitch's throat to get it. And that's how you felt. Yeah. And I've always been super confident. So confidence is always sexy to people. So just the fact that I'm like, we're going home. And they're like, oh, we are? You would walk up to a guy and say, we're going home together.

I mean, at one point, I'm sure it got to that. But yeah, I just lay down my, you know, lay down my stances. Women don't need game. I'm just trying to see from their perspective. Okay, so you're going up to this guy and you're going, I'm going to take this motherfucker home. You do some stupid talk. Hey, how are you?

I'm Sylvia, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. You show him some pictures of you getting fucked in the ass and tell him that you've been tested. That's a new role I get to play. You were throwing out all the cards. She said blood test just now.

Blood and urine. She said nobody's cleaner than me in Nashville. I get tested every two weeks. You get tested more than John Jones, bro. Fuck that. I respect it.

So you throw out all this stuff and then if it still was up in the air, you think you would just say, hey, listen, I want this to go down. It's funny to me that you think it's still up in the air. It's never up in the air, you think you would just say, hey, listen, I want this to go down. It's funny to me that you think it's still up in the air. It's never up in the air.

Have you never had a guy say no? Not really. In your whole life? I don't believe that. Bro. No, no. Women don't need games. Andrew ain't even said yes yet, for real.

Andrew's a different type of fucking dude. Technically, I have not said yes. There you go. That was a first for everything What game does a woman really need To get them to sleep with somebody Like honestly Like a good looking woman walks up to you

And is like yo we're gonna have sex Most 80% of dudes are gonna be like Okay Yeah For what And there's you know There's alcohol involved

You're you know And most men are out there Like most women They're also looking to fuck too. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Most women aren't as upfront and being like, oh, I just want to go and hang out with my friends. She's openly saying, I want to go out and find somebody to fuck. Most men, when they go out, it would be like that.

What about married dudes? Any emotional qualms about that? No, I'm into it. Really? I'm actually more into married men than I am to single men. Talk to me. Why? Because they don't want an expectation.

They're not going to call me every day. They're not going to bother me. I don't like people to ask a lot of questions. I like to run my own life, and married men don't ask questions. We have a newly married man. Oh. Oh. Oh.

What about engaged dudes? How do you feel about engaged dudes? I don't feel like engaged dudes are looking to have sex with anybody else. I feel like they're so sold on being in love. Married men have gotten over the fact of being in love and they just want to get their rocks off. Engaged men are still in love with somebody they have this magical idea of what it's going to be when they get married which will will fall apart so married men are the best yeah easy casual done yeah wow interesting have you ever had somebody that wasn't happy with your services uh if they were they didn't tell me but you ever hear a That wasn't happy With your services If they were

They didn't tell me But do you ever hear A bad review Or anything like that Like I don't read the Googles You know I don't

I don't I don't read the comments There's not a Yelp review On your pussy There's no Yelp for escorts I don't think so There's gotta be an Angie's List For escorts

100% There's no way to review I don't know I don't know if there is Gotta invent something. I'm not into it. Yo, madam's list? Madam's list, son.

We definitely need to do a review system. Oh my gosh. You can make a lot of money on that. Oh my God. Yeah. I don't, I mean, that's for other people.

It's not my, not my forte. Not you. You know what I mean. Hypothetically, if you were to do something like this, other people in your position are doing stuff like that.

Yeah, it's fascinating, man. I can't believe, and you still do stand-up. Yeah, I love stand-up. Love it. Just do it for the love of the game. Which feels better? Stand-up.

Stand-up. Wait, have you ever fucked a guy that you are completely disgusted by? And how do you get over that? Yeah, in porn. And how do you get over that? How do you compartmentalize that? I almost quit porn the day it happened.

Talk to me. But no one will ever see the video because I made the most obscene faces to the camera because I was just like so... Why were you disgusted by him? He was single and available and showed interest. No no no no he was super old and disgusting and I was told it was a boy boy girl scene which mean I would have sex with two men and I was totally okay with that and it was a boy-boy-girl scene, which means I would have sex with two men, and I was totally okay with that. And it was for a black site, brother-lovers. All right.

And I thought it was going to be two brothers. You know how old a black guy had to be to look old? But it wasn't. That's not what happened. That's not what happened. I had sex with a black man, and it was great. So you're saying two black brothers duped you. No.

Listen to what happened. Are you the Jussie Smollett of pornography? It wasn't two black men. One of them is asking, it sounds like two black fathers. I was down for the two black men. That's not what I got. I got one black man, and he came on my pussy, and then the old fucking disgusting white director came over

and ate the guy's cum off my pussy, and then proceeded to fuck me. And that's the face I made to the camera. I was like, so it would never be put on the internet. I don't even understand what happened. I understand all too well what just happened. He puts the camera

on a fucking... He comes on your pussy. So meaning like, so you're a spread eagle. You're laying on your back. Yeah. And then he comes like, kind of like a Cinnabon, like that little... Yeah. Drizzle. He glazes the pussy.

Drizzle, right? Okay. Then the other guy... Comes and eats it. Licks it off. Yeah. Does he do one bite like a grouper? Or is he cleaning and licking as he goes?

Cleaning and licking. Like windshield wiper type of? Yeah. That's how I felt. I almost quit porn. It was awful. Wait for it. So after he does that,

then he immediately starts having sex. Yeah. Is there a conversation? No, there was no conversation. Is that allowed? No, I left my agent right after because I couldn't even believe he booked me on this.

I was so disgusted. And it was like the worst moment of my life. Yeah, it sounds kind of rapey. Like, rapey? If you don't know the dick is coming. That's usually rape, right? Yeah. I wanted to cut my vagina out and my eyes.

Was it old dude Harvey Weinstein? No. Just this nasty dude. Harvey's a saint. So I like to tell everybody to never watch that site. Do not support those people because they're disgusting. Well, they're bad. Horrible people. Who's a saint. So I like to tell everybody to never watch that site. Do not support those people because they're disgusting. So they're bad. Horrible people. Who's the best?

Brother Lovers is the name of the site. Okay, so that happens. That's the lowest point in porn. And after that you're like, I think I'm outcha. I thought I was going to be, yeah. Then what happens? I signed with another agent and it was promising to treat me better.

Of course, they didn't. What happened with them? My next agent was a giant cokehead, so it was like, yeah. Those are all cokeheads out there. For sure. But what did he do to not treat you right? It wasn't not treating me right. It just wasn't making me enough money.

He just wasn't paying enough attention. He had his own issues and was too wrapped up in his own life to worry about booking people on jobs. Right. And I probably wasn't one of his high money makers at the time. So do you have a legit agent and a porn agent and a comedy agent? I do not have a comedy agent. I book all my own comedy. I do have an agent for my pornography, but I also self-bug.

So, yeah. Hmm. Yeah. So that was the lowest point in porn. Nothing worse than that. Yeah, nothing worse. That sounds about right. And now I always ask who it's going to be with, and I look them up online, and you can

say yes or say no. But I don't really have a no list. A lot of people have no list of people they don't like to work with. Really? I don't have one. Who's a prominent guy on the no list? people they don't like to work with really who's a prominent guy on the no list I can't say really I mean I'll tell you off of air well this is behind the paywall so no one's gonna you know they won't find out so wait why there's somebody that you cannot talk there's one guy that like a lot of girls have on their no list I might be the only one he's allowed to have sex with to be honest who Ron Jeremy no oh gosh he would be on my no list for

sure jesus ron j not ron j i don't want to throw him under the bus i would feel bad you're not throwing him under the bus this is just what it is we'll just go ask lisa who what is who is he and you're the one who's willing to fuck him so if anybody should say then it's you who is it uh his name is brad knight brad knight do you know him kaz kaz is our resident porn expert no i only know a handful of like male porn stars and he's not one of them and why do they not like Brad?

it's just the way he tries to run the scene he tries to act like he's the only one who's been making porn and that nobody else has any idea what's going on including he does it

to the director so a lot of directors won't work with him he tries to like run the show I thought that the men have no pull whatsoever that's what I thought

yeah well they really don't which is why a lot of people don't like to work with them because they're like, dude, shut the fuck up. You're not running this. Yeah, nobody's here for you. We're watching it for the girl, not Brad Knight. The fact that this guy... He looks like a fucking douche.

This guy looks... What is Cody? Who's the guy in the... What's that sitcom back in the day? Boy Meets World? Boy Meets World. It's Corey. Yeah, that's Corey Matthews. Wait, this guy has a big dick?

He's got a huge dick, actually. Really? Yeah. That guy right there with that little chest hair? You gotta trade some things off with God, man. Make me look like this, but give me a fucking humongous dick. He is a big dick. He does, yeah. Have you seen a picture?

Get that up. It's a Patreon episode. Get that up. Now, while we're waiting for that, you say you self-book, right? And Lisa was here. She was talking about how much the internet has really helped her. Oh, 100%. Yeah, so tell me about that.

I know she does, what's the thing? We have our OnlyFans, we have our premium Snapchat, I have a Pornhub account. All these things are just different ways to make income. Because porn, I imagine, nobody pays for porn. No, but that's what they do pay for these sites because it's being more connected to their favorite stars. Yeah, so it's like a personal, intimate look into our lives. So how does the Pornhub work? Because before,

it was like YouTube. They were just like uploading whatever. But now there's like verified accounts and shit. Yeah. I don't know how it works. I have an assistant and she does all that. But I have an account

and it does make me money. So that's what I know. Oh, no shit. I have no idea. He is... Oh, here's your work. Oh, there it is? I got it. Let me see that. I had no idea. He is. Oh, here's your work. I got it.

What's that on your phone? Oh, is that Brian, Brian Knight or Brad Knight? Brandon. Right. Which scene are you looking at? Mommy blows best.

Yeah, that's Brad. That's the name of the site. Mommy blows best. Do you have a favorite title site? Like, uh, yeah,

I love working for, um, sweet center. They're my favorite company to work for. All right. Shout out to sweet center. Yeah, I love working for Sweet Center. They're my favorite company to work for. All right, shout out to Sweet Center. We'll give them business. Because they actually have real storylines, so I actually get to act. And I was their most booked person in 2018 and on the road to be their most booked in 2019.

They've made me a contract person. Nice. Yeah, so I just love working for them. You've never done any casting, have you? No. Oh, okay. Oh, like casting couches, you mean? Yeah, because that just love working for him. It's fun. You've never done any casting, have you? No. Oh, like casting couches, you mean? Yeah, because that's Andrew's forte. Well, I started, that's how everyone kind of like start starts,

and so I did one kind of casting couch. Oh, he's so happy right now. There you go. He's so happy right now. With whom? Rick? I don't remember. Back from castingcouch.com?

No, I don't think so. I don't think so. I can't remember who it was. It's five years ago. Oh, that's my favorite. See? No, it's not Rick. Is that where I got my hand stuck in the garbage disposal?

Yeah, that's the storyline. Oh, my God. Before we started recording, you said he got banned from Fox Sports 1? Oh, Fox Sports News. How the fuck did that happen? So, okay. So like four years ago. Yeah, tell us why a lot of you suck dick.

Ask your sports questions. So like four years ago, I was out at the Bungalow in Santa Monica. I don't know if you've ever heard of it. So basically the premise of the Bungalow is it's very house-oriented, so it's a lot of couch seating, and it forces you to interact with people. I was there on a Tinder date, and my Tinder date went to the bathroom. Tinder date, wow. There was these four dudes sitting across from me.

What do you say you do on Tinder? Are you honest about that? I'm not on Tinder anymore, but yeah, I'm honest with everybody. There's these four guys sitting across from me and I'm very friendly. And so I just said, hi, I'm Sylvia Sage, blah, blah, blah. And we started talking. They asked what I did. I said, I'm a standup comic and I also work in pornography.

And they were like, oh my God, we'd love to have you on our show. And I was like, yeah, I was like, uh, whatever. I agree to most podcasts, you know? And I'm like, yeah, I'll do your radio show. But I didn't know who they were. And then they were like, we'll have your people or our people call your people. And I was like, well, I am my people. So yeah yeah I'll do your radio show but I didn't know who they were and then they were like we'll have your people our people call your people and I was like well I am my people so yeah I'll take that call

and so they called me and the next day because this was Saturday night so on Sunday morning I was on Fox Sports radio and I didn't know that's who it was and I basically said the last comment I said was they said are your parents proud and I said yeah my parents are proud that I'm taking the path less traveled and the cock more ridden.

That's a great line. Yeah. And that was it for me. Just saying cock? Yeah. And then like a month later, I'm in Vegas. And I ran into those same guys. And I said, can I get back on the show?

I want to promote this comedy gig I've got coming up. And they were like, yeah, we're not allowed to have you on the show anymore. And we almost lost our jobs because of you. And I was like, oh, fuck. I had no idea. I was like, you guys told me I was able to say whatever I wanted. That's on them? Yeah.

That's on them. You can say whatever you want here. I'm not allowed to be on Fox Sports News ever again. Ah. Right. Yeah. Well, Andrew seems very, sir. Yeah. Well, Andrew seems very, uh, sir. Yeah, you really enjoy giving head, huh?

Can I say? Yeah. Now, is this uncomfortable for you? I could never sit next to somebody while they watch my bit. It's the worst. No, it's not uncomfortable at all. That's not uncomfortable at all. No, yeah.

I've done comedy thousands of times. I've done comedy more times than she's fucked. It's still uncomfortable For me to watch someone Watch my bit Really Way No not at all

I I will sit I thought you don't watch porn Alright I'm good I'll sit there While they watch my comedy too Yeah

What do you want I don't know No I don't know I didn't even bring it this way. It's good work. Thank you. Good work. You being objective?

Thank you. Can you pass that over? Love the eye contact. Yeah, shit. Great angles. Can you pass that back to me? Just pass it to Rakash again? Just pass that back to him.

He did take a peek. I mean, yeah. Take a peek. take a peek. He did take a peek. He did take a peek. He did take a peek. Stop it. Stop it. You don't watch porn? No. He does not watch.

I told you. He's a very gentle soul. Soul, man. Soul, yeah. Absolutely. What do you think is going to happen to you if you watch it? I don't know. I haven't thought through.

I don't think I'm going to hell if that's what you were wondering. Okay, yeah. That's what I'm wondering. Well, why don't you watch porn? Just not a thing. Yeah, just not a thing. Because my mom thinks I'm going to hell, by the way. She's super religious, and she's like,

we won't be able to spend any time together in the afterlife. So they don't like it, and you're fine with that? I mean, they accept it. I'm still close with my whole family. My dad's side is not. I mean, my dad's like, I wish you wouldn't because you're my daughter family my dad's side is not i mean my dad's like i wish you wouldn't because you're my daughter but he's like i get it and i think my dad wishes he were me he's like god he's like you get paid to go have sex with people and then you get paid

to tell jokes about it and i'm like yeah he's like he's like i wish i would have thought of that did you notice do you notice like any difference in like the physical nature of your relationship with your father? Like, was it difficult once he saw you doing porn to like hug you and be affectionate? I don't think he watches. I don't imagine he watches. I don't imagine he watches. He's not watching the porn, but he saw you do porn.

He knows that you're doing it. Yeah. Yeah. No, he didn't have any qualms about it. In fact, like I was afraid to tell my brother because it's my older brother. Yeah. And my dad was like, well, I'll fucking tell him. He was like, he can't say anything to me about it.

And he was like, my dad's super supportive. I was about to say, he sounds very supportive. Wow, that's great. Just because he knows I'm safe and he gets it. Sex sells.

I'm a 35-year-old woman. He knows I'm fucking anyway. I might as well make some money at it. Can you retire? From porn? And be okay financially? What is your exit strategy? I mean,

I don't know that I'm leaving porn anytime soon, but I mean, financially I'm pretty good. I'm going to, you know, my plan is to buy a fourplex in Kansas City where I'm from in the next year and have that be making money

and probably buy a house in Vegas and have that be making money. Well, if you come in the game doing like the stepmom stuff, you could do it for quite a while, right? Yeah, I have no be making money. Well, if you come in the game doing the stepmom stuff, you could do it for quite a while, right? Yeah, I have no plan to leave. I mean, one of my best friends in porn is Regan Fox, and she's damn near 50, and she looks fucking stunning.

Wow. So, I mean, I don't see. When I first got in, I told myself, like, two to five years max, but I'm at five years, and I'm like, I feel like I'm just now getting the the recognition I deserve I'm not leaving anytime soon right are you winning those words those a Vienna words I have not won any a Vienna you want to be nominated though I think I've been nominated for you yeah I think this year might be a little bit better for me because I've done a lot

more features and a lot more like big movies this year so I think this year will be better for me. So we'll see. Interesting. Do you get recognized often in the streets? Yes and no. I do. But people don't always say something to me in person.

Some people will, but mostly they'll message me on Twitter and like, did I just see you at blah, blah, blah? Yeah. Yeah. But they don't say anything. Or a lot of people are like you look so familiar And then I'm like you want to know why I look familiar, and they're like yeah, and I'm like it's you know porn And they're like oh, that's it Unphased yeah back to fucking Andrew Where like a guy is just so oblivious that that they don't know that you're throwing them pussy?

Does it happen a lot? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I think just because we're put on a different level and we're not humanized any longer that people are like, oh, well, there would be no way you would want to have sex with me. longer that people are like oh well there would be no way you would want to have sex with me like it's such a no clue pipe dream this person really is it's not exactly okay yeah is that what you're thinking right now Andrew I'm

trying to remember that I'll catch the last and say I don't remember what I was thinking the moment I often assume I'm oblivious to like it i'm really oblivious i mean i wasn't trying to i wasn't trying to hit on you right i assumed you're like you you told me you're a comic at first then you were telling me you're going to the strip club so i'm like i assume you know me from maybe la you know me from the comedy scene you just want to stop at the thing and then you're doing comedy at a strip club i didn't put it together that you were also a stripper well i'm not a stripper let's get that straight whatever i am the world's worst stripper found that out the hard way right real embarrassing never you've never stripped before no yeah but no i didn't i didn't assume it to be honest with you but yeah

again maybe i don't maybe i don't do that yeah you have to Really throw it at me So when do you fly back Tomorrow Tomorrow Andrew when do you fly out You got What gigs you at this weekend I'm in town I leave tomorrow though You leave tomorrow

Me too I leave tomorrow So we have until tomorrow What airport Fourth of July weekend Let's get some fire What airport are y'all flying out of Are you getting cabbed together

I'm in LaGuardia I'm not taking the airport I'm not going to the airport What Yeah I'm driving upstate. Oh, okay. Do you have a car? No.

Oh. Yeah, I got to rent a car. Damn, that sucks. Can you put that on your wish list for me? A rental car? Yeah, just get me a nice rental car

for three days. Somebody will buy it. Better than a fucking globe. Do you do that ever? It's for decoration. If you were to see my apartment you would get it my apartment is all about

world traveling like it's that's what my apartment looks like it looks like a person who travels a fuck lot yeah right

was that like another throw at him I think she's like you gotta check out I missed that too bro like dude I keep

popping oh my god what is that god damn make this happen yo god damn I'm fucking up I keep babbling. I'll be fine now. Don't. Don't. I missed that one, too. God damn. Make this happen, yo. God damn. I'm fucking up, yo. For the sake of the podcast, please fuck Andrew. Please.

To be fair, I missed that, too. I was like, does anybody even fuck about decor? No. Yo, you think a guy's walking into your apartment going, damn, you travel. This girl is world leader. Wow. Let me get that blowjob that I saw you with Brad Knight.

Travel out of his game. Bishop in the Greece? Wow. I don't give a shit. Goddamn, though. So can you even have like a steady boyfriend or that kind of stuff?

Do you guys put up with it? I mean, I don't know. I haven't dated in 11 years. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in 11 years. So that's where you sacrifice. Yeah, but I don't count it as a sacrifice. She said 11 years and she's been on porn for five. Yeah, so I don't count it as a sacrifice.

Thank you for the pickup on that one. I'm better at being single and I like the no answering. I don't like to answer questions. I don't like to answer questions from anybody. I hate fucking small talk. Like I'm just not into it. I'm like, do we have a point? Like let's get to business. Are you, are we making money or what are we doing? And so, yeah, I don't, I just, it's a lot of tie down and I feel like people get distracted when they're in relationships and I'm very focused on my goals and what I want to accomplish. So here's my main goal.

This is what I tell people. Yeah. I want to do for sex. Not get AIDS. I'm on PrEP. I'm not getting AIDS. Oh, beast. Wait, what's PrEP?

What's PrEP? What is that? I don't know about PrEP. Nah, what is that? Yo, she's on point with it. What is that? That's a drug that gay dudes take so they don't get AIDS. You can prevent it from happening by taking this regular drug.

Smart. How often are you supposed to take it? Every day. Every single day. Yeah, it's like birth control. Jeez. It's like AIDS control. So people can just splash in raw all the time.

I mean, I don't let anybody come inside me. You're not trying to fuck a guy with AIDS. But go on. Wait a minute. Guys can't come inside you at all? I don't allow it. Not even the cream pie thing? If they do, they have to pay me extra

so I can get the Plan B. So you don't take birth control? I do take birth control, but I don't take risk. I even the cream pie thing? If they do, they have to pay me extra so I can get the Plan B. So you don't take birth control? I do take birth control, but I don't take risk. I'm not trying to get pregnant. I am like no baby. So even with birth control, you're going to take Plan B? 100%. Whoa.

Yeah. Fuck a baby. I hate babies. You have on film. Your own, actually. I'm not into it. You have on film. Your own, actually. I'm not into it. For someone who says they hate kids,

your work does not demonstrate it. She's really Alex-approved. So you don't want kids at all? No. None? No. Is it because you're afraid you'll fuck them? That's exactly what it is.

You are so right. No, I just wanted... So my goal is to do for sexuality what Ellen DeGeneres did for being gay. Because before her, it wasn't even talked about. It was very hush-hush. Nobody... There wasn't gay people on TV. There wasn't kissing on TV. And now, not only...

And how nice was it? Right? No, but now... Dancing around all goofy at 2 p.m. We don't need all that. But it's super accepted, and that's what I want. So you want 2 p.m. on ABC, just girls sucking cock. No, I want us to talk about sex.

I want sex to be just an open topic like everything else is. That's why I do two podcasts of my own, one of which I do with the director of psychology for UCLA, and it's very sex education based. And I run my own podcast. It's super sex oriented, super. That's the one I wanted you to be on. It's sex education, but with like a comedy twist. So it's all the things that you Google and we'll ask you what you Googled last, like about some sort of sexuality.

And mine was, can you get gonorrhea through sharing a joint? Because I thought I got gonorrhea of the throat by sharing a joint with somebody. Did you get gonorrhea of the throat? You cannot get it that way you get you cannot get it that way by the way how'd you get it yeah I have had gonorrhea one time yeah yeah but there's only a few ways you can get it yeah I don't know how I got it because I just when I just popped for it so I don't know if it was you know by the throat or anything else it's funny they say popped like athletes do. Pop for babies. Wait, do you guys get suspended when you pop?

Well, I mean, yeah. You got to take a week off until you get back. No, but does the company go a week? Just a week? Yeah, I'm sorry. So what are you doing within that week? Who gets you fresh off of the gonorrhea? Well, I mean, you get cleaned for it, and then you have to get another clean test. Right.

Yeah. So when you get your clean test back, then you can go back to work. Nah, man. Any other crazy STD that you got? No, I've only had gonorrhea one time in five years, and I've had nothing else since I got That's like the beginner's STD. Yeah. So you'll be all right.

No, I've never had the fun. It's like the common cold. What about herpes? We don't do tests for herpes, but there's also a preventative you can be on. Also, I'm on for herpes as well. Really? Yeah.

So your pill regimen daily is... Those are my three pills. Birth control, PrEP. Anti-baby, anti-herpes, and anti-AIDS. Should we all just take this? Why aren't all of us on this? I don't know. Why are we rolling the dice with these things?

Because you guys are... I mean, you're not testing on a regular basis either us on this? I don't know. Why are we rolling the dice with these things? Because you guys are, I mean, you're not testing on a regular basis either. That's why I don't fuck regular people. Yeah, what's the med for

the anti-herp either? You write the death? Shut up. I'm still taking that shit. It's at home in my hotel. I'll send it over to you. She'll text it to Andrew later. Actually,

I'll just give you the bottle. It's a daily you take as well. It's a slide to go on a nightstand. Well, thank you so much for coming. I have one more question. So you said that 90% of your income are for most 80%. 80% of some girls' incomes. So what about for male actors?

I don't think a lot of males do any sort of, yeah. They do gay escorting, right? Yeah, some of them can, but there's just not as big a draw and it doesn't make as much money So they're just not making money then? I mean, they do, and straight porn I feel bad for any woman who's paying for dick Like, that shit is free as fuck

In straight porn, we have very few men who actually work I want to say maybe a pool of 15 to 20 dudes who work on a regular basis So they work all the time These dudes are working want to say maybe a pool of 15 to 20 dudes who work on a regular basis. That's exhausting. So they work all the time. These dudes are working five to seven days a week. So, I mean, even though they don't make

as much money as we do, they're still making a pretty good job. How much do you make per scene? I don't like to talk about that. Can you give... All right, how much does not you, but maybe another girl, an average... I mean, it just depends.

So it depends on what you're doing. What would you say your first couple roles, what were you making? Usually it's somewhere around $1,000. So $1,000 per scene. How much will a dude make for that? $300 to $500. Really? Yeah. Where's the wage gap argument with porn?

Some of the bigger guys can make up to $1,500 a scene. So that's what I'm saying. Your rate goes up the more you're in and your demand. I mean, it just depends. Depends on how big she is. No guy is making as much as the girl, though. No. Well, some of our big guys are making as much as starting out girls.

If not more. But that's starting out. So there is a wage gap in pornography that nobody's addressing. Yeah. And it's a huge grievance against the male population. You make as much money as you tell people you want to make. Everybody sets their own prices. Ah. So there's like a general of what each money as you tell people you want to make. Everybody sets their own prices. Ah. So there's like a general of what each scene costs

and what it's going to be but then you say if you want to go, if you'll take less than that or if you need to ask for more than that and then the company decides if they want to book you.

If they can afford you. They all have caps on their movies. Right. They have a budget just like anything else. Right. This wage gap argument

was very conservative. Very. You make as much as the market dictates. That's right. Right. Listen, guys, I think on behalf of all of us, we're very grateful that you came. I know you got to run out of here. Oh, shit.

I got to really run. But thank you so much for coming. We appreciate you. Tell them where they can see you, what podcasts you can get, where Instagram, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, absolutely. You can find me. Andrew's DMs.

Yeah. Absolutely. You can find me on Instagram at TheSilviaSage. And it's S-I-L-V-I-A-S-A-I-G-E. If you watch my stand-up, you'll know what all those I's are about. And you can find me on Twitter at SilviaSageXXX, Facebook Silvia Sage. And you can find me on iTunes and Spotify. Got them.

Go check her out. God bless.