Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Putin is A CUCK

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

0:00 - start 0:10 - Dear President Putin Poem 3:30 - War and Fake News 17:30 - "civilized" people in war 29:00 - Zelensky's comedy career 37:00 - Russian oligarchs 50:25 - Akaash's LA podcast tour 1:00:30 - Euphoria 1:25:00 - korean trans-racial d!ck reduction surgery Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf #Flagrant2 #AndrewSchulz #AkaashSingh #AlexxMedia

Dear President Vladimir Putin, I am so sorry that I am not your father. Because if I was your father, you would have stayed come, held in the folds of your mother's stomach. If I was your father, you would be plan B'd out of sight. If I was your father, we could have ended this plight. If I was your father, a scoop scoop would be your pure demise. If I was your father, your mother would be wiping semen from her eyes. If I was your father, a barren bitch your mother would be. If I was your father, there would be more than one ghost of kiev i love it that's beautiful i would have had him aboard in kiev i understand i understood

the symbology yeah because that's the mother city of russia yeah interesting well done yeah that's what i would have done well done yeah i think i'm onto something with it's really powerful the poem it's crazy how poetry can change the world yeah i think he just ended the war yeah agreed i think that pooper is gonna see that and he's gonna realize everything that he's done that's wrong yeah you are the biggest activist of the 21st century i might be honestly i might be i feel that way right now i feel important yeah um obviously there's this war going on yeah and uh so we can't talk about any of our problems and uh we still have problems i know we still have problems i have a trip to italy coming up

yeah and it's gonna be canceled maybe what yeah i know oh my god i know that's the worst thing that can possibly happen i know i need to go to italy i need to go to naples because when was the last time russia invaded italy right like that was pretty recent long overdue i think it's probably gonna happen exactly it's unbelievable that we can't go to i know joe joy behar was on the view talking about that yeah and she sounded absolutely ridiculous but i'm planning my honeymoon in italy this summer and while she was talking i was was like, talk that shit, bitch. Talk that shit, bitch.

He's like, these women are onto something out there. Right, though. Like, let her rent. I'm trying to travel. Y'all want to not travel again? We get out of COVID, and now we can't travel again. Oh, I'm traveling, yo. I'm traveling.

What you really finna do? Russia not going nowhere. To Ukraine? I'm not going to Ukraine. Russia not going outside of Ukraine. I guess that's a good point. Now, can we just be honest for one moment? Yeah.

Do we think this war is really happening? Well, that's a good question. It can't be a war. No, no. That's a good question. Give me your evidence and I'll probably support it. I believe the war is happening. I'm so charged up.

I'm like emotionally torn. I'm fucking crying because I love... Okay, this is going to sound fucked up. Pierogies. Veselka. No, I love the war is happening. I'm so charged up. I'm like emotionally torn. I'm fucking crying because I love okay, this is going to sound fucked up. I love Veselka. I almost got married to Veselka. The first place I took my wife was Veselka. So Ukraine has a special place in my heart. I also had sex with that hooker with the white

areolas. First hooker I've ever fucked was in your two deepest emotional connections. Ukraine. First time I ever paid for pussy connections ukraine yeah yeah first time i ever paid for pussy in ukraine yeah and the first time i ever met my wife in the ukraine version of here also we don't say the ukraine anymore what do we call it just ukraine yeah apparently yeah it's not the ukraine you don't know what they want it's also not it's also not kiev how the hell can i ask you a question are there two ukrainesines? No, it's like the Bronx.

Yeah, it's the Bronx. It's the Ukraine. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Dude, okay, here's what I'm saying is, so a lot of emotions that are happening right here, and they're very difficult to digest, okay? I'm going to say this line. Just roll with me on it, okay?

Gladly. Gladly. Just roll with me. I'm rolling. I love war. I love it. I love it. I love it. I know it sounds fucked up.

I love war. Just roll it. Are we rolling? This is why I love war. It's not the war. I don't want people to die. I think this is tragic. It's awful. I love the heroes. I really love heroes. And in order to have heroes, you need conflict. War provides a conflict for the heroes. I really love heroes. And in order to have heroes, you need conflict. War provides

the conflict for the heroes. I'm basically Hamilton. Right? Hamilton, remember, he was like, we need a war so I can be better in society, piece of shit. What a fucking piece of shit Hamilton was when you think about it. Nah, I put some respect on Hamilton. You know he was not black in real life, right?

Yes, he was. He's not black in the show. He's whatever lin manuel miranda is he's black is he dude yeah steven seagal afro latino okay i'm taking that okay george washington was black in the fucking play but that's about it when i went he was black oh really in the new one yeah john mcfarran yeah that's my guy shots of javon but not to get too far off of this so i love the heroism attached to war. Okay?

Yeah. And I'm having these moments where I'm like fucking crying. Like every time I walk into my bathroom, I look into the vanity. Dual. I look into my side of the vanity. Right? Dual vanity. I have dual vanity, obviously.

And in the bathroom attached to my room, not the other bathrooms in the place. He's too big. He needs one foot in his room. Yeah. He needs multiple. Okay. This is a lot to the other bathroom. His nose is too big. He needs one foot in his nose. He needs multiple. It's a lot to be vetted in the bathroom. He's got to be vetted. And I go in there and I

replay what I would do if I was the ghost of Keith. So I'm working. I'm actually just working at a butcher shop in the Ukraine. And I hear on the radio Right? I hear on the radio

That the conflict is escalating Okay And I'm cutting my sausages And I'm cutting through the meat And all that kind of stuff And then it looks like They're going to take up arms And there's a moment where I put it down

And then I just walk out And I just walk onto the base. And I'm getting some pushback from like the lower level army people on the base. We can't lose the butcher. No, they don't know. They don't know who I am. They don't know my history. They don't know what I've done.

Right. Right. And then all of a sudden the big general sees me coming. Okay. He goes, no, no, let him in. Let me let him in. Blah, blah, blah. I go, get me in a plane and get me up into the sky.

And I get up in the plane, I get in the sky, and I just start taking out these fucking Russian planes. Six in a day, he did. And then he said, shut up, I'm hungry, now cook. That's it. I don't know what you're talking about. You're a butcher. Butchers don't cook.

Yeah, they just cut meat. It's okay, he's from the city. He grew up with delis. He doesn't know what the fuck a butcher is. He's never seen a butcher. He never seen a butcher that didn't look like me. It's okay. He's from the city. He grew up with deli. He doesn't know what the fuck a butcher is. He's never seen a butcher. He never seen a butcher that didn't look like me. That's facts. So I guess my point is I get so excited about this and I'm living

out this dream of being the ghost of Kiev and then I find out it's not even real. It's all fake. Correct. Everything that we've romanticized about this war didn't happen. What about? Ghost of Kiev? Not real real the sunflower seed lady you saw that story yeah okay lady walks up to the russian shoulders hey can you put these sunflowers in your

pockets why do you want us to put the sunflowers in pockets old ukrainian lady well because when you die on our soil at least sunflowers will grow from the ground fire bars mean baddest bitch on the fucking fake snake island you heard of that one the russian boat is coming up to the island where there's a base on snake islands ukrainian island there's a ukrainian base 13 soldiers on there the russian boat says hey if you surrender we'll save all your lives he goes hey tell him to turn up the volume they go fuck you russia and then they all die those people are alive didn't happen tank running over the car do you guys see that clip no i haven't seen that one that's real that's real ukrainian tank

ran over their own guy they think that it might be uh they're running over somebody who was trying to to uh russian forces or something like that but what some people are saying that's not even confirmed but what some people are saying is that was an anti uh aircraft tank andrew yeah let me tell you something about war okay in any war you to have that much paper left on the cigar after you cut this shit yeah it kind of got messed up it's a little dry sorry my bad andrew the first casualty in any war is is the truth oh shit bars bars okay he'll learn how to smoke that thing okay but but that is totally true this is what happens and it's so fascinating to experience obviously war from a safe place right we're going to talk about war as people who are far away from it so obviously this is going to be

insensitive to people who are in the thick of it right but we're experiencing it from the outside okay experiencing war for the first time with social media obviously first time in history but now we can quickly find out what's real and what isn't the gulf of tonkin happens what gets us in vietnam by the time we find out that shit was fake we're already in the war now when i say i don't even know if this thing is actually happening i i don't know all the pictures that they're pictures that they're using of buildings that have been attacked. Some of these pictures aren't even in the Ukraine. But now, just because there's misinformation doesn't mean to say that none of it's happening.

Of course it's happening. Something is happening. There's a conflict there. There's soldiers there. People have died. It's fucking tragic. It's awful. Okay?

My point is, is that right now there's a PR war going on. And the people that win the PR war win the hearts and minds of the support that they need. Right. So if Ukraine is going to win America's support, the West's support, they've got to put out some stories about old fucking ladies with sunflower seeds. Also, I think Crystal talked about this on Breaking Points, but she was saying, like, Russia can't really participate in the other side of the PR war with, like, their cool war stories because they're pretending they're peacekeepers. That's their whole PR pitch is like, hey, we're going to Ukraine to be peacekeepers.

So you can't talk about all the shit you're blowing up and how heroic you're killing and dying if your whole thing is we're peacekeepers. So you can't talk about all the shit you're blowing up and how heroic you're killing and dying if your whole thing is we're peacekeepers. So you know what their propaganda is? What? Nazis? Nope. I mean, part of it.

What they want to do, yeah. But they want to, yeah, they are doing the Nazi stuff. Ukrainians are Nazis. There's truth to this. But, yes, they are doing that. What they're trying to do is cause division amongst the people supporting Ukraine. So they're putting gas on. You know how all of a sudden it just started popping up like Ukrainians are racist.

I never heard about Ukrainians being racist before. Of course they're racist. It's an all-white country in Europe. Every country is racist in Europe. The most woke country in Europe throws bananas at soccer players. Yeah, guys. Europe is racist. Yes.

I don't know if you knew. There's this dream that they act like they're so woke and they're so progressive. They're so above it. And then Muslims move in and they're like, get them the fuck out of the city. You know what? We're leaving the union. What happened to white people? Exactly.

No more EU for us. 100%. The refugees. Get them away. Yeah. So. Or people over there filming comedy specials and, you know, just end up in jail. Just end up in jail for a whole month.

Just crazy stuff. How could that happen? Just because you're the only black guy that won't get allowed to the club yeah okay so of course they're racist people are racist but what i believe is happening is russia is putting the gas on the racism stuff so that people in the west are going why the fuck should i care about the ukraine i don't care about these racist motherfuckers yeah and they're right yeah and these things do happen and they don't let the black people to into poland or they don't let the black people on the trains and all this other stuff and i'm sure there might be they can make an argument like uh we told all people that aren't

from the ukraine to get out of here 10 days ago they decided not to get out of there or they say they might not have the proper visas to go to these different countries their visa might only exist for ukraine blah blah blah doesn't matter it really did happen and if i'm russia and i want to reduce support for the ukraine amongst other western countries i'm putting a fucking gas on that shit put that thing through facebook put that thing through instagram put that thing through tiktok get people pissed off because that's how you win this shit you don't have to prove you're the good guy you just got to make sure that nobody supports ukraine and then you walk all over ukraine falls if we support them yeah and that's i think where the war we don't support them sorry yeah if we don't support them if the west doesn't support them and immediately in the

beginning it was like we love ukraine all the buildings are lit up in the flag colors right and everybody was reflected in the war right like my i was talking to fa every turkish person is so proud of the turkish drones that are taking down Russian tanks. Have you seen this? No. Everybody reflects themselves. Like Jews are going crazy over this fucking president of Ukraine, Zelensky. Every Jewish person that I know is texting me.

Oh, he's the son of a, you know, the grandson of a Holocaust victim. He's the new Jewish hero. This is Jewish Jordan. This guy. Right? They just won't stop. And it's because everybody is so selfish in war. You just want to see yourself reflected.

Myself as well. I wish I was the ghost of Kiev. I wish I was someone who doesn't even exist. We always just want to see ourselves reflected. That's why the, you know, minority representation on TV or whatever. But you know what this made me think of the misinformation thing is

I understand why people watch Fox News and MSNBC now. Why why because the misinformation feels so good so much better it's so it feels so good like ghost of keeve felt so fucking good yeah that sunflower bitch felt so good oh oh misinformation is the information i want yeah i completely understand we gotta be everything you're telling me i'm like i'll shut the fuck up truth is boring it's not boring it's disheartening no it it will can be disheartening yeah but it's also boring yeah that's like the truth is often that middle gray area yeah which is like this person's kind of bad and this person's kind of good yeah like it's not as uh black and white as people present it right right and um do we want to fuck that do we want to break

down our knowledge of the truth sure we could do uh we could do the best we were pretty close oh yeah here's the other one that's going around right now so this is uh mark you want to set this up yeah so this is basically just like an infographic that i've seen get passed around where basically it comes from redfish which is on twitter as it's like it basically says russian state affiliated media and they put it out and they say these are all the like airstrikes in the last 48 hours so they have ukraine here they have syria here they have yemen here they have somalia now notice on the russian side they have crimea as a part of russia yeah so it's like basically russian sponsored infographics to suggest that there's

wars happening everywhere. People are getting bombed everywhere. You should condemn war everywhere, blah, blah, blah. Be consistent in your views. Yeah. Why are we putting so much coverage on the Ukraine when people are dying all over the world? Right now, obviously, it leaves out like the geopolitical importance of like the Ukraine being invaded versus like some of these other countries. Yes. And it also doesn't necessarily like equate it seems like a false equivalence that it's not actually putting like the level or severity and like death toll of the strikes yes needless to say it basically puts this idea that like hey why are we focusing so much on this there's war everywhere be consistent yes which is helping like russian information and intelligence 100 you get to call the hypocrisy and at least

it could potentially silence people, especially if you're one of these people who is condemning the war in Yemen, condemning the war in Syria, condemning the war in Israel-Palestine, right? If you're one of these people that's constantly condemning them, but right now you're speaking out for,

I guess in this situation, who would be who? You'd be on the side of Ukraine, right? You'd still be on the side of Ukraine. Yeah. So then why would this work? What do you mean? No, this is on the side of Russia.

What they're trying to do is give people an exit ramp toward caring. Like, oh, oh, oh, you care about just this? Well, there's war everywhere. How come you just care about this? You're a piece of shit, too. I don't have to care. It's basically all war. It's all war.

Yeah, I looked at it differently. It's all wars matter. All wars matter. Perfect. Okay gotcha gotcha gotcha yeah because if you were a person that does care about yemen you care about israel palestine you do care about syria you're going to care about this yeah okay you care about any but they're calling out the people who selectively care i didn't know there was airstrikes in yemen and somalia and syria i assumed probably a safe bet but i didn't know about it so instead of trying to raise everyone's level of sympathy and compassion we basically try to decrease their sympathy and compassion for the ukraine which is what's happening yeah it also says condemn war everywhere they don't even exonerate themselves they're like no we're bad but so are they well the reason people care

about this more is obviously people care about uh i mean obviously there's optics right like you're gonna see people look like you and you're gonna go okay that's fucked up yeah right but i think another thing here is like are you guys wondering if there's gonna be nuclear holocaust i'm wondering i don't think so but yeah the thought is there i mean russia got nukes ukraine i think uh like did not they like deployed what is it denuclearize themselves or whatever yeah but uh russia got nukes america got nukes we ready to go like what's what's good because yeah i think that's what heightens it it's like if there's a real conflict with russia and the west yeah both have nukes yeah and then this is you know game over for the world and putin is saber rattling

saying if anyone tries to intervene it's going to be destruction like your history's never seen it's the same reason why like anytime north korea pops up everybody listens because like yo that guy's crazy and that could obliterate the whole world right and it's unfortunate but yemen doesn't have nukes yeah so we can choose to turn a blind eye yeah we don't have to deal with it because it's not going to hit us at home and that was the most terrifying thing about terrorism we thought it wouldn't hit us at home we're like oh yo there's that little proxy war going on over there people are dying over that's not going to affect us at all towers go down oh shit yeah now all of a sudden we're consumed with terrorism in the same way that we're consumed

with this yeah so it's really selfish people are gonna even these like idiot fucking journalists from ukraine you can play these clips they're hilarious that just you can see the racism kind of spill out this is the reason why it matters. This is the most important reason. This is why it matters that there's bombs in Kiev. Tens of thousands of people have tried to flee the city. There will be many more. People are hiding out in bomb shelters. But this isn't a place, with all due respect,

like Iraq or Afghanistan, that has seen conflict raging for decades. This is a relatively civilized, relatively European, I have to choose those words carefully too, city where you wouldn't expect that or hope that it's going to happen.

So it's partly human. It's equally insulting to everyone. That's my favorite part of it. He called Kiev a relatively civilized city. It's not relatively civilized. This is any European city. Matter of fact, it's far more impressive than most of the cities you go to in Europe. Like we were there. You land at the airport within two seconds. Porsche dealerships, these things, perfect roads, beautiful architecture, extremely civilized. these things perfect roads beautiful architecture extremely civilized what are you supposed to say it's extremely civilized right it's got sex work yeah available yeah okay high self-esteem

super high five atms worth whoa you started the run of the banks i did i knew it was gonna plummet yeah as soon as you land a few years hundreds of people at the atm no so so yeah so it's not not even close to like what did he say barely civilized or pretty civilized he didn't say he said he said these are countries that have seen war for decades i mean this is not like that this is a relatively civilized and then one other word society uh european society there's another one that's like even more blatant oh yeah he literally said these are people with blonde hair and blue eyes that you're seeing exactly and it's just like well that's because

these journalists are fucking idiots they don't get the real reason why it bothers people they think that it bothers people strictly because someone looks just like them and they live just like them and that is optically why things are more interesting right you see someone who has a similar life then you're like oh my god this could happen to me yeah but the deeper rationale is this could happen to me and once your enemies not your allies are essentially beefing with you and then threatening you yeah putin straight up is like yo we're gonna arm the nukes and there will be repercussions for anybody who helps ukraine yeah simple as that so now i gotta go oh is it on yeah and please

believe they're coming from new york well actually i did a simulator okay so basically if they drop a if they drop a nuke on manhattan yeah soho is destroyed you know you would die but i think in williamsburg we'd be okay as long as we're recording so yeah i did well it depends on which bomb it depends on the shifty shut this whole thing down and mark was really pissed off about it so he said yeah it won't even get to brooklyn and shifty was like actually not true like if it depends what type of nuclear bomb there's many different types and he was used he goes you're talking about the one that they made like in the fucking 60s or whatever he goes or the 40s he goes things have gotten much better from then so take out uh brooklyn as well and he came with all these facts and mark was just

fucking heated i did research he just did social studies last week i'm just saying it's fresher in his mind he was dropping multiple nuclear bombs and he started to bring up he was like he's like i looked at the the blast radius from Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and then Shifty goes, that was 1945. Stupid. Nothing got better since 1945, son? Yeah, but the Tsar bomber that they tested,

they've never actually tested it fully. They just designed it. Damn, you stumbling. He's about to be like this in any second. I'm doing a form. I think everybody's dead. I think everybody's dead. And that's why we're concerned.

I would assume we have some shit that can take care of that. That is the American fucking arrogance that we have. I feel the same way. They got the Iron Dome. I'm like, yo, they can't touch us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drew's got this shit, bro.

Come on. Yeah, I don't know if it works with nukes, but I... That's also why Williamsburg will be fine, okay? Also, they have the Iron Dome.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. They're... Greenpoint gonna be alive. Go and you'll move. It will keep you safe. Exactly. Peter Pan donuts. You're gonna be all right.

No, the thing with the... Oh, fuck. What was I about to say? The defense system? No, no, no. Yeah, with the defense system. I think that they actually made that illegal. Like, I think there's a treaty. There? No, no, no. Yeah, with the defense system. I think that they actually made that illegal.

Like, I think there's a treaty. There's like a nuclear treaty. And I think in the treaty, it's like, yo, stop trying to develop those systems to protect yourself. Because we all have mutually assured destruction. And then once you separate yourself from that, now our nukes mean nothing. So I got to bomb you before you actually invent that shit. You think America listens to that shit? No!

And they better not but the arrogance we got is like it's so funny existing where we exist where like i remember i told y'all about that show where nobody in new york was in new york nobody knew who the new mayor was yeah yeah and just like just how privileged that is like just check out of the political process and we'll figure ourselves out. And right now we're being threatened with nuclear annihilation and all of us in this room are just going, nah, but they got a button, they'll shoot it and the Tony Stark thing and we'll be fine. We wanted privilege. We got Elon.

We got Elon, bro. We got Elon, we good. What did he do? He gave him internet. Yeah. Drop a bomb, bro. Oh my gosh, no. Yo, I'm not opposed to this to be honest with you just you know let's fuck up Russia

but it's not the people from Russia like the people from Russia are embarrassed bro yeah stop Russian hate I know but hey what else we finna do

but what is that what you gonna you gonna not drop a bomb on Russia nah they gotta take out Putin I think that's a valid counter argument

you could not drop a bomb okay but then what but then what if they drop a bomb. Okay, but then what? But then what if they drop a bomb on us? No. This Batman, bro. This Dark Knight, we both got buttons. We could blow the other one up. Yeah, just drone Putin.

That's it. Just Putin alone. I mean, Putin. That's it. Putin got to get got. My suspicion is he doesn't make it out. What do you mean? If this doesn't go well, he's out.

You think he's still alive? This seemed like a crazy... This guy's a goofball dude you think putin's alive right now he might not be you think zelinsky's in ukraine i hate how crooked your glasses do you think zelinsky's i hate that you've been putting them crooked ass glasses on thinking he's doing something do you think zelinsky's in ukraine he's in israel right let's be honest i think he recorded that video on the first night and then he's out of there yeah what are y'all doing why y'all doing all this i mean why y'all doing why y'all ruining

everything why y'all fact checking why you snow yeah why not feelings bro why are all these facts you asked me to tell you what's going on that was my question though is why didn't you when you picture this whole scenario yeah why weren't you just the comedian turned president? It's right there. It's a very easy thing. And instead, you fabricated a whole butcher story, and you got to walk into the building. Why weren't you just? I'm a butcher pilot.

I'm a butcher pilot. The comedian. I went from butchering cows to butchering Russians. Hey, comedian, do you want to stay or fight? And you were like, no, I want to stay. It was a real story that was right there. He's not fighting. Yes, he is

he chose to believe instead that a butcher would walk onto a military base and the fucking general would be like oh that's the butcher yeah and a butcher that doesn't even cook it's fucking gone in 60 seconds bro I'm trying to stay away from war

the butcher of Manhattan okay and then I come back y'all keep pulling me in it's gone in 60. The butcher of Manhattan. Okay? And then I come back. Y'all keep pulling me in. It's gone in 60 seconds. The butcher of Kiev sounds fire, though. Say again? The butcher of Kiev sounds fire. The butcher of Kiev.

I'm the fucking butcher of Kiev. Yeah, but then you're not from Kiev, though. Say again? You're the butcher of Lafayette Street. That's fire, too. That's kind of fire. That's fire. Put butcher in front of anything. It doesn't matter.

All I'm trying to say is that's a fire story. Look at your stupid fucking movies in Bollywoodwood y'all don't really walk around doing synchronized dancing but y'all believe in that y'all can't believe in this you reaching the bottom damn bro he's got the nukes over here i can't understand the whole fabrication what do you mean it's such a thought exercise when you have the thing right there comedian turned president that's you in 2032 and then that's too believable too believable yeah there's nothing heroic about that president is corny president is corny actually being up there like remember independence day when the president got up there and he was flying the fucking planes

with the rest of that was fire we're removed enough from valentine's day where your dick needs to get manicured again and manscape is going to help you out okay if you were stupid enough not to buy the manscape before valentine's day and ruin your girl's valentine's she got pubes stuck in her teeth probably for a whole weekend just pubes sticking out her teeth disgusting okay because she loves you she's doing everything she can for you why don't you do everything you can for her why don't you get that new lawnmower i think they're up to the 4.0 okay it's unbelievable it is a time saver if you're in there with with the scissors and then the razor and all this other nonsense you're doing 30 minutes trying to shave your balls and taint and gooch okay you don't have to do that you hit that thing up with the manscape you're in and out in a few minutes you've just

saved over 25 minutes that you could be spending playing video games with your wife watching euphoria sucking her tits jeez do you know what'm saying? It is a way you can spend time. He's not wrong. You can spend time sucking on her tits. He's not wrong, logically. And if she got a little nipples hair sprouting, you could get that manscape and you could trim them up too.

Find the flaw. Yeah. Your wife probably got hairy tits. What? Some women. We're not editing anything. Okay. Okay, but your wife could edit the hair grown out of her fucking tits if she has a nice Manscaped.

My point is you get 20% off and free shipping with the code flagrant20 at manscaped.com. That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code flagrant20 at manscaped.com. It's time to get wet and clean with your new Manscaped shower routine. You see that little rhyme? Now let's get back to the show. The president is going up to the podium and telling motherfuckers what to do. That's whack. He said, I need ammo, not a ride. He didn't say that. That's fire, dude.

That's fire. Why do you believe in everything? What's the actual thing he said? Zip-a-dee-zip, zip-a-dee-zip, zip-a-dee-zip, whatever the fuck ukrainians sound like yeah okay zipping it dude you know what that translates to i need ammo not a ride no why you always hating on comedians bro say fuck yeah why you hating on all these comics dude he's a successful comic bro fuck you too yeah yeah this guy's good we don't even know if he's funny comedians and tanks he could be the steven colbert of ukraine that's what he is bro that's a fire show no how do you even know if he's funny bro he could be one of

these like politically correct all comics that's you that's why you like them probably these fucking alternative yeah that's what it is that's what you like go to l.a do some podcast you gotta support your tribe though you to support your tribe, though. You got to support your tribe. Who's my tribe? He's a comic term president. You got to support him. Yeah, dog.

Eight shall not kill eight. Ain't no proof he's a comic. Bro, here's some of his comedy, dude. Fire. So here he is. Oh, let's go. Oh, that's fire. Hilarious.

No pants. Always funny. Playing with the's fire. Hilarious. No pants. Always funny. Playing with the dangling. Yeah, dude. Swag with him. Legend. I love this guy. Now, you're a dick, Mark.

You're a hater. Mark's a dick. You're a dick, man. You're a dick, son. You're a dick, son. The guy's saving his country. He's just making fun of his one shitty sketch about playing piano with his dick. That was a great sketch.

That was fucked up. That was a great sketch. You're a hater. That was fucked up. You're a great sketch. You're hating. You're jealous. What if somebody takes your worst bit and shows it to the world? He'll go down as the greatest hero comic of all time.

That's a shot. That's a shot. I wish I could be a fucking hero like this. Go over there. I'm flying a ship. Let's go. I'm flying a spaceship. Let's go ghost. I want to be in the plane. That's all I'm flying a ship. Let's go. I'm flying a ship. I need a spaceship. Let's go ghost.

I want to be in the plane. That's all I'm trying to say. Which aircraft? Say again? Which aircraft? Tomcat. No. Wait, what?

Yeah. Tomcat? Yeah. What model? F-16. Whoa. Got to get that F-35. No, F-35 don't work.

F-22. You don't even fucking know about it. F-22 Raptor. You don't even fucking know. You don't even fucking know that the F-35 doesn't work. you don't even fucking know about it you don't even fucking know you don't even fucking know that f-35 doesn't work billion dollars wasted f-22 well done democrats but you're sounding pro-russia though you're shitting on all the ukrainian propaganda yeah why are you pro-russia dude i'm not pro-russia i'm pro-ukraine so you like russian people i honestly i like them all i like ukrainian people i like

russian people i just don't like i don't like putin i know there's good people on both sides there are good people on both sides we need to protest russia dog say good we need to protest russia we need to pour out our vodka yeah what's the version of that yeah what's the version of that we need to we're out here writing poems. They're making a difference. Yeah. What are we going to boycott? You got a little upset that these things

that like inspired you aren't true. That's just how I feel. I feel a little let down, but I didn't know until you brought it all up and ruined my fucking day. I'm upset at you. I know.

It doesn't matter. You told them Santa Claus doesn't exist. Come on, let us have fun. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if the heroes are true. This guy. This guy. It matters that they're living heroes are true. This guy. This guy. It matters that they're living in the hearts of Ukrainians.

That's true. They got to inspire those people out there fighting. Have the cigar gone, bro. Oh, you got it, though. Sheep ass paper. This guy. You're not fired up I'm fired up

I'm ready to go Yeah You can be the next piece of propaganda That's the beauty of propaganda How do we talk about anything else? We don't That's the thing about war man Fucking

Selfish It is selfish dude It is selfish Putin is selfish I want to own you Yeah You didn't know how he was going to affect our content cycle? Yeah

We got to talk about you for an hour and a half. We got clips to make, Putin. What are you doing? What a narcissist. Were you guys a little let down by like Russian's military? It seems like 18-year-olds with tanks that don't have enough gas that are from the 80s. I don't understand. What's up with the Soviet column?

Something's off. Well, this is the thing that I was wondering. Is like, does the social like media platform of war does it reveal how shitty this war is and like what a shit show it is or is all war shit show we're just realizing now you know what i mean like you see like a ukrainian pulling up to a tank without gas being like hey you guys need a ride back to russia maybe that's just war and they're all laughing and it's like is that just what war has always been is that what invasions have always been maybe disorganized chaos or maybe there's just no nothing happening

right now or is it just that there's nothing i heard you got to give it time it said they said it took three weeks for the u.s to take baghdad so you don't know what could happen like it could start off whatever and also apparently they've been kind of holding back on like really fucking up yeah they've been surrounding like they could really do damage but yeah that's what i'm saying why are they not doing that i guess i guess i'm just like i think they thought it would be easier to take ukraine and now that it's getting tough and install a puppet government yeah yeah i agree with you they i believe they thought it'd be easier to take but my fear is that this is all part of the plan like they gotta know that sanctions are coming do they want sanctions like what does russia

ultimately want like we watched this video and it basically said what it ultimately wants is to be able to control the access to russia and it needs ukraine on their side in order to control that access also there's a pipeline right they supply a lot of pipeline stuff but specifically in order to defend the land that russia has which is this massive amount of land if they have ukraine and then they have this thing called like kalingrad or something like that it's basically on the other side there's like belarus is here russia's here and then there's a little section of russia that's not connected to the body of russia okay and they can basically have ukraine and russia as a border for mother russia ukraine that

little part right there and it limits the amount of space that any european infantry can access russia right if they lose ukraine it's a much larger border for them to defend and they already i think fa was telling me nato basically was like the anti-soviet alliance from back in the day and they promised at the end of the fall that we're not going to expand east at all and they have and they and they got three countries estonia ladvia poland that actively border russia yeah so like you're right and now if you get this big landmass because after they took crimea ukraine was like hey we want to join nato and they're like you're not fucking doing that you've already done enough yeah and apparently they just have a rolling

occupation of georgia i was talking about georgian buddy he was like yeah literally they just in the middle of the night they'll just move the border 100 yards interesting and literally there's been like yeah this is part of it now it's just called a rolling occupation and if you look at georgia it's like georgia and azerbaijan are right next to each other and they're also the border states right so if you want to have access to russia you have to go through georgia and azerbaijan russia's like i need a buffer motherfuckers ain't just about to roll up in here and start clapping right so what i guess they're trying to do is protect their land it's like risk yeah at the end of the day you're playing risk and the way that board game the way russia was dissolved like the ussr was dissolved was intentional yeah to try to like basically

force russia to not have any of the land assets that they need like the water assets yeah so it puts them in a completely disadvantageous situation if they're going to fight. Because they might have enough troops to fight a war if there's one entry point or two entry points, and they're small. But they definitely can't defend that whole land mass if they can be attacked from all different sides.

Right. So if you can funnel Europeans' advance through this tiny little funnel that I think is at the end of the Netherlands or something like something like that all you need to do is defend i don't know a few hundred miles imagine you had to defend the whole uh what is it called eastern european front yeah so imagine your ukraine is gone and now you're you're defending on the entire ukraine border you're defending on the entire bella rian border. I mean, you have full access from any European infantry. They want

to go through Ukraine. They can go through... Matter of fact, if they want to come up from Romania and go through the... What is it called? That would be which sea? Black Sea? Yeah, Black Sea, I think. I'm just trying to say, I understand why they want to protect that. I don't know why they thought this was the end-all, be-all.

And now they've pushed Ukraine into a situation situation where they i think today signed a uh some sort of a application for un membership yeah to do you membership yeah you're referencing this is the video that we saw yeah this is real life lore yeah this dude he just like makes these great like youtube videos you check it out but the one thing he brought up in the video that i thought was interesting was that and I don't know necessarily. I'm curious what you think that basically Russian population has been going down steadily and that like reproduction rates in Russia have like been decreasing.

It's already a small like a relatively, you know, like lesser populated country. Yeah. And that Putin's looking at it saying, OK, how much time do I have before we can try to make his claim on Ukraine? And if you're looking at like declining population rates, declining like military troops, plus also an aging leader, he's like, yeah, this is the time. Time is now. So he references it in the video. I thought it was an interesting. But I think that also the hope is like if there is any switch in this government, the oligarchs who are really getting hit right now, The hope is like if there is any switch in this government, the oligarchs who are really getting hit right now, who all live in London and Paris and they name their boats and we know them. They're being hit this hard that they will then be that big supporter of Europe, hopefully on the next front because they're shutting their mouths right now.

Did you see the Ukrainian sailor that's allegedly sunk of Russian oligarchs yacht? Did it happen? Yes. The engine room was destroyed. In my heart, it happened.s yacht did it happen yes the engine room was destroyed in my heart it happened yeah did it happen though yeah do we believe it he was arrested and put in front of a judge you found out santa wasn't real in elementary school and he told everybody else to ruin their fucking that one happens that one happened majorca chief engineer working for a weapon supplier that was r. He was Ukrainian.

He undid a valve and a plug in the boat and flooded the engine room. So fucked up that boat. Good for him. Good for him, dog. But why should you be attacking just a random Russian guy? He said he was supplying the weapons that are being used against Ukrainians.

Everybody's doing their part. What are we doing, guys? Remember when we were punching cab drivers? I never did that. Don't attack Russians here. But Russians from Russia? Billionaires? Your hands have probably got a little blood on them. Yeah.

Back in the day, when we would just go punch a cab driver because of 9-11, we were doing our part. Right, though? Isn't that the same thing like a cab russians here that's off limits say again russians here that's off limits russians in my york of spain he's a russian though right he in russia he a russian billionaire i'm gonna pretend i know what that is. But he's an oligarch. Yes.

You can't let the oligarchy stand. I'm just saying. To you, the toxic oligarch. It's not toxic. That would be oligarchy, dude. Like when you got bullied as a kid. Yeah.

After 9-11. That was us doing our part. No, no, no. But I was here. Exactly. I was here. You were outside of the country. You should have gone back to where you came from.

Yeah. Out of the most country. I'm in Texas. I'm in the most country. No, I'm saying you. Exactly. I was here. You were outside of the country. You should have gone back to where you came from. Yeah. Out of the most country. I'm in Texas. I'm in the most country. No, I'm saying you're out of your country. You're out of Iraq. No, no, no. You were in Iraq.

Russians in America. You were in Iraq, dude. Russians in America are American. Say again? Russians in America are American. What if they're Russian? To who? To us.

They're citizens. But what about Russians in Spain? I don't know, bro. We might have to figure some out. We might have to do some intel. That's Mallorca. We might have to do some intel. I'm just saying, you could argue the people bullying you were heroes.

I'm wondering this. Did he live in Mallorca or was he a Russian? His boat was sitting there. His boat was in Mallorca and he's just sailing. So you just hate people with boats? I don't love them. I don't love them. I mean.

Fucking boats. I like people with boats. Yeah, boats are fire.'t love them i mean fucking boats i like people with boats yeah boats are fire yeah like boats are cool yeah now this guy's got a sunken boat yeah fuck boats dog fuck boats okay what's what's wrong with you you're acting like putin right now yeah yeah okay i'm the only one who gets a little seasick fuck boats you know what i mean you gets a little seasick. Fuck boats. You know what I mean? You can't get seasick on a yacht. It's too big.

I don't know that because I haven't been on one. So fuck boats. Speaking of boats, cargo ship with Bentley's, Porsches, and luxury cars still floating in the ocean without a crew. If these fucking Somalian pirates don't hop on that, I'll judge them forever. That shit lit on fire, though. It was burning for a long time. Some of them are burning. Ain't no cars in that bitch.

Nah, there's got to be one. There's probably a Tesla or something. If there was a Volkswagen, I'd be out there. There's some old-ass V-dubs. Your boy would be in the waters. When are you getting that? Say again? When are you getting it?

I don't worry about it. Stop asking questions. There's a war going on. There's a war happening. There's a fucking war happening. Don't talk about a trash-ass car that breaks down every 10 minutes. Loans on margin. I was trying to tell you about that.

We're going to get you a great car. Akash got a new scam to lose all his fucking money again. Again? Again? What are you talking about again? Didn't you lose a lot of money with crypto? Son, I don't know. Crypto is up today.

I haven't done the math. But Akash sold when that shit dropped. Yeah. Don't do the math. I sold some. I still have the majority of mine. You sold a good amount. Yeah,'t done the math. But Akash sold when that shit dropped. I sold some. I still have the majority of mine. You sold a good amount. Yeah, it's cute though. It was like a percentage of mine.

I sold more than you have, but it's less than half of what I still own. No, I have more than that. Oh, do you? How much is your wedding present worth? Probably a couple hundred bucks. Less than mine? Probably a couple hundred bucks. I should have taken that shit out immediately, it'll go back up dog what are you talking about i got his gifts and dubs gifts are about to be very similar very similar oh you have little

faith yeah i'm gonna get you the lenny kravitz bitcoin that's what i'm gonna do that's what i need that's just going up to the moon baby um okay why do you care about Ukrainian propaganda when you don't care about American propaganda? There's no such thing. Everything America says happens. Ukrainian propaganda is American propaganda right now. That's what you're not getting. No. Honestly, honestly, I just won.

You did 9-11. Their internet is down. I kicked your ass up and down this argument with that. You are responsible for 9-11. You are responsible for Pearl Harbor. He's back in the game. You are responsible for Civil War.

I was responsible for that technically. Not the Civil War. Why not? The Civil War. That makes it sound like he's a good guy. No, he's responsible for it. Why am I responsible for it? Isn't Abraham Lincoln responsible for it? No no he's a southerner he's trying to break away oh get back to daddy does that bother southerners that we just called y'all our sons and we kiss you on your fucking forehead i don't mind well i think so

i wouldn't be able to move to the south without that the sons of confederacy right like they yeah we made them sons for sure get over here Sit on my lap I don't mind I think Al and I Are okay with it Yeah Okay with what I mean it worked out Better for him

But I wouldn't have Lived in Texas If it wasn't for that What do you mean The South won I'd be living You know some Cuck ass New York

Or something You think I don't think We would have gone Well you still live In New York Yeah You just would have

Got here quicker This is why we beat Y'all up after 9-11 with your dumb statements. Making these dumb ass fucking statements. We gotta do what we can. Why are you in such a bad mood? Because.

Can I be angry? It's a war. People are dying. White haired, blue eyed, white people are dying, Akash. Take it seriously. Civilized countries are getting far. The ghost of Kiev isn't real That's his whole fucking Remember his tweets on Saturday

Hey what an honor it would be To die for your country I was drunk and I was emotional Tearing up Mad drafts Hell of drafts in the twitter right now Crazy shit I didn't mind it but I wish you kept that tearing up, mad drafts. Hell of drafts in the Twitter right now with crazy shit. But I went with that one.

I didn't mind it, but I wish you kept that same energy walking in. I like that passion. Now this guy coming in all fucking bitter. Well, then I found out that this shit's real. How do you know that's not Russian propaganda saying it's not real? Why would they do that, Mark? To make you not care about Ukraine. Uh-huh.

I still care about Ukraine. I want them to win. Oh, so it's working. I want them to win. Hell yeah. But that's just because I'm anti-Russia. Yes. Hell yeah. As are we.

And that's the only reason why we really care about this. Hell yes. Is because Russia's invading. Bro, if Italy was invading, we'd be like, what them Ukrainians do? Yeah, bro. Why was they acting like that? Yeah. You can't act like that with Italians.

Yeah. Why were you dressed that way? If it wasn't Russia invading, we'd be pissed. We'd be like, why them racist motherfuckers don't let no Africans on the train? Why the anti-Semites in the fucking military? So everybody is so selfish with war, man. Of course. Yeah. Why y'all did

9-11, bro? The fuck is wrong with you? And you're just walking around with your little pink tassels like nothing happened. Can I ask you a question? What? Yeah, thank you. That shit's mine. Can I ask you a question?

Can you? Can you, though? What would it sound like if Italy invaded Ukraine? Can you disconnect your fucking thumb from your pointer finger for once in this episode? This whole episode is this. That's because I'm Italian. So imagine Ukraine trying to fuck with Italy bro so how would it sound

can I tee you up for a joke you dumbass Jesus Christ I'm trying to get this guy to do it there's a war happening there's a war I hate this Andrew can you before you get too excited

I shoot mine in the air bro before you get mine's going to air come on y'all don't got guns we saw y'all beating people with sticks when the covid came around yeah that was fire come on though why were you beating the people with sticks because they weren't wiping shit on their body to get rid of covid yeah you gotta do what you gotta do i'll share that clip with us bro what which one? Which one? The one about the doo-doo. Yeah, we talked about that. Yeah. I'm just saying Al did that shit.

Bro, why are you trying to separate us? Nah, nah. That's not going to work. Yeah, I know. No, Al did call it a relatively uncivilized country. He did call it relatively uncivilized. He's still trying to figure out how to use that shit. I don't know.

I'm a fucking butcher of kids, bro. I'm a fucking butcher, dog. Oh, yeah. Exactly. You butchered that gun. butcher of uh kids fucking butcher oh yeah exactly you butchered that gun that shit's more fire without the bomb I got the little pistola

alright my boy what kind of racist shit were you saying about what about who y'all was talking shit help me out I want I'm just trying to have honest conversations with y'all. Yeah. Whose side are you on?

What would you do for your country if we're going to war? Whatever I have to. If I have to shoot somebody, then I will. Okay. Fair enough. I think I'd be a good shot. I don't. Your hand's mad shaky.

You got a shaky hand. You got a word shot out of all of us. You had bad eyesight. You had to get glasses. Yeah. Fuck. I wouldn't be a good shot. You got a word shot here. And you shot out of all of us. You had bad eyesight. You had to get glasses. Yeah. Fuck, I wouldn't be a good shot. You got a worse

shot here. And you need to be able to see really well to fly planes. Yeah, the butcher because you're stabbing people is

the only way you get anything done. That's a good point. That's why I'm the butcher. And you have to run an 11-minute

mile. That's easy. Without tripping. I can't do that. But if I'm allowed to trip, I will do it under 11 minutes. I think I might be

too tall to be a fighter pilot. I looked it up. He said you think I might be too tall to be a fighter pilot. I looked it up. He said you can't be over 6'8". Yeah. Yeah. I can't. I'm too tall.

I think I'm too tall. You think you're bigger than a plane? Dude, I'm too tall to be an astronaut. That's a fact. Okay. You got to be tiny if you want to be an astronaut. Like you guys. You guys could all be astronauts.

You also have to go to MIT to be an astronaut. Say again? You also have to be like a genius. Yeah, that's the easy part. I can study. Read the book and remember the words in the book. It's just math. There's nothing fucking hard about that.

Anyway, you guys could all be astronauts. Especially you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to be short. Okay, it says 190 centimeters tall? Yeah, exactly. How tall is that? 190 centimeters.

Shorter than me. Between 58 inches and 79 inches the fuck is that well 79 inches is six seven six 76 inches 76 inches six four six four so i bet i can't do it well that's to be an astronaut yeah six foot three is but i wouldn't want to be an astronaut that doesn't appeal to me at all you can do anything say again you're not you're not too tall to do anything i can't do most things because of my height because of my extreme height i can't do most things it's hard dude it's hard it's stressful huh very stressful he crouches every time he goes like this have you seen him like

that one right there yeah yeah i'll slam my fucking head on a doorway, dude. It's a big problem. You guys wouldn't relate. Fivers. Bunch of fivers. Just hanging out with a bunch of fivers, dude. What's it like? What's it like? Huh, guys? It's warmer. Say again? It's warmer down here.

It is warmer down there, right? Oh, no, actually the opposite. Easier to duck Vietnamese bullets. I'm waiting for this to work. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because if you want to pay off your student loans faster, you've got to listen up. All right?

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full list of licenses. All right Alright guys, we're back in. We understand there's a war happening, but we also have our lives and our lives are very important to us. And Akash. Vacations. Vacation is important. Comedy and jokes. And Akash was just in California. Yup. And on a podcast

run. Yup. During the war. How was that? Yo, I invaded California and they welcomed me with open arms. Wow. And during the war, how was that? Yo, I invaded California and, uh, they welcomed me with open arms. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. No, anything you hear otherwise is it's propaganda. It's spin. Uh, no, this is my first time doing a run on so many of those podcasts and dude, it was the best. Yeah. The whole LA podcast scene is thriving. It's great. They're all hanging out, having fun. It's great. Uh, we did fight on the kid, which is dope. I never really got to hang out with Brendan and Brian.

We had a blast. And yeah, they're great. Tiger belly, Bobby Lee. I had never met. We'd never met each other. He's the best.

So that's the best. I haven't had fun on anybody else's podcast like that. Nobody's more fun on the planet. Yeah. Incredible. The most fun. Incredible. Even post rehab.

The best. Yeah. We did. I did Tiger too. Or what's the Trash Tuesdays Those girls came on here They said they were Going to try to kidnap you

Why's that They said they weren't Going to give you back Oh word Alright fair Well they gave me back Pretty quickly But you know

The best thing was You go to I started in LA They killed it over here By the way They're great dude They're great The best thing is

I started in LA And I got no love From anywhere Like I go to the comedy store And wait for the fucking Open mics And I never really Went back there And headlined They're big. They're great. The best thing is I started in L.A. and I got no love from anywhere. Like, I go to the comedy store and wait for the fucking open mics. And I never really went back there and headlined because, you know, you just, you don't get the opportunity.

And then to do the whole podcast run and sell out all the shows. Like, Irvine was 500 seats. And I remember walking out and seeing every seat full. Legitimately, Kev, my camera guy, Kevin, was filming me walking on stage. And my head, like, cocked back. Like, God damn god damn every seat is full i've never seen it like that in oxnard the love was

crazy people were like standing up when i got on stage oh that's fine and uh it was just it was just a dope uh we're blessed man this is a beautiful it's a beautiful time and good shit yeah dude la is great i can't wait till i move out there i'm just really excited about all the things we're doing yeah you think it's la youA.? You think we'll move to L.A.? Somewhere warm is all I'm saying. I'm with you on that. I'm done, dude. I know there are bigger problems in the world, but right now. No, no, no, no.

There's not. You know what's so true? It's like maybe that's why Putin's doing it because he's freezing. Because he's freezing. He's just cold and angry. Yeah, exactly. He's like, what's a little bit warmer? Yeah.

Get me closer to the black sea. No, he's got Crimea. He's got the southernmost part of Ukraine locked down. How warm is Crimea, though? Yeah, I guess that's true. He wants Mallorca. You're just angrier if you're cold. That's why this guy came in in a mood.

He didn't get the LA trip. He didn't get the vitamin D. You on the other hand, you got the light of the whole world in you. I remember that. You got a second cigar. It's so funny. you got a second cigar it's so funny so what else it was just a fun man again it was just cool to go back there and like not worry about meetings with some fucking agent who you know could get you on some dumb ass show

you probably don't want to be on it was just just cool to go there, sell tickets, do comedy, hang out with comics. And I always heard the LA scene was like dead because Rogan left. They're doing great, dude. They're doing great over there. They're doing their shows. They're selling their tickets.

They're making their money. And then they just, they all got multiple podcasts and they're all just, they seem to be having a blast. Yeah. And it was cool to see the, like feel the love

as opposed to going there as like some young kid who nobody knows and nobody cares about. That's good. It yeah fun on this side success is good yeah that's what we were saying is uh where do we go do we leave uh new york i'm so ready yeah winter fucking sucks here dude it's the worst dude it's the worst bro it's the worst and i'm like yeah i don't know. Every time I walk on the fucking streets

and I got my stupid fucking shoulders up around my ears. Even when it's like 43, it's so fucking windy. You're like, it's 32 or whatever. It's freezing. It's freezing. I'm out. If you don't have to live here in the winter, you don't. There's nobody that lives here in the winter because they want

to. They live here in the winter because they want to. They live here in the winter because they have to. But we have to get to a point where we don't have to. And then where would that be? LA's not all it's chalked up to be. Why is that? Traffic. That's true.

Traffic. Traffic sucks. We can write our own schedule. They've got to come to us. Okay. Work around traffic. Influencers. They're annoying. I'm not the biggest fan of LA. Okay. Work around traffic. Influencers. Those are, they're annoying.

I'm not the biggest fan of LA. Yeah. I was happier. I'm, I'm happier when I'm in Miami than I am when I'm in LA. I'm fine. I loved Miami. Yeah. I like Miami.

My only concern about Miami is raising a daughter there. Oh yeah. Yeah. But you go to the suburb, go to Fort Lauderdale. Yeah. Jupiter, Florida.

Jupiter. No, we're not going to jupiter florida i don't know about it but it seems fun too far north you guys want to make another one of this right here bro yeah he's from orlando i'm from pensacola yeah from the base mark will like going there but are we really basing our futures off of what you have popping out okay where do you want to go dove no you have to i know you'll never have miami if i can get my whole family out of miami no no no the thing about the miami thing with the

kids is like i felt like you you kind of get wrapped up into the culture that you exist in right and it's like the value system of miami on one side love, I love this idea of like be with your family and like love one another and like party and like that Latin vibe of like, let's just have a great fucking time. Yeah. Smile, enjoy life. That is the shit. Yeah. There's another part of Miami, which is like people who have never gotten money and then they just got a lot of money and they have to let everybody know that they got a lot of money. So the value system skews a little bit. You're like, how do I show off the money? Now, New York has money show-offs,

but there's something about New York where style is valued. Now, I'm not saying that that is more or less corny, but you could get pussy just being, like, cool-looking. You could be homeless getting pussy. Like, West Elm Caleb was fucking everything in New York. That's not happening in Miami. There's no West Elm Caleb was fucking everything in New York. That's not happening in Miami. There's no West Elm Caleb in Miami. Right?

So it's like, now, there might be, but it's a guy driving a Lamborghini that he's got fucking leased, and he's going to spend his entire money. He's living with his parents. So the little thing is the front. So I do have a little bit of a fear, and maybe this is early. Like, what if my daughter comes up in this? Is that going to be her value system? Now, my question is, why would you have a daughter?

That's kind of sus. I'll be honest. I want to have a daughter. That'd be a little sus, bro. Why not just have six boys? That's what I'm going to do. Really? Yeah, I think so.

Just because you're the gayest guy in the room doesn't mean all your sperm is male, man. Don't worry about it. I'm talking about all my homies, bro. All the boys in my ball bag. That's the gayest. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 100%.

What are you talking about? I want some pussy in my balls, bro. Six's crazy y'all fighting over the balayages oh man bro i wouldn't have gay gays if my kids were gay they'd be tough gays really yeah and how do you make them that they just be around me the toughest gay on the block yeah bro i bro. I'm Freddie Mercury right now. Look at me. I got my wife beat. I feel like Al don't want a daughter either.

I got my wife beat. He calls it a wife beat. That's what it is, bro. The wife beater. That's a wife beat. I don't know. You guys don't worry about that at all? Like the culture you're going to raise your kids in?

Yeah. Like, yeah. When I was in Miami, you saw where I was. No, New York is firedork is fired right like because you have access to it all yes to like i don't know and maybe maybe other people don't feel this way but like i don't know i feel like you're so close to wealth and you're so close to poverty you're forced to accept all of it and understand that these things can exist in one lifetime there is definitely positives to growing up in New York,

but I also think it's a little crazy to have that much access to everything. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot of exposure. It's a lot. You don't get a childhood that is insulated in any way. Also, New York kids are mad stuck up. That shit was always annoying.

Shut the fuck up. Or, y'all would come down to Florida, go to college, and be like, oh, yeah, I'm from New York. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And we get mad pussy after we say that and it works yeah New York is the

America of America. Yep. That shit. You know how America just goes like, we're the best country in the world. There's no real metric to decide. Propaganda, bro. It's New York propaganda. But we believe our propaganda, and it works. And it's true. And y'all believe our propaganda.

That's how you know that shit works. They be so tight, they're not from here. We did nothing to be born here at all, But we feel we're better than y'all Because of it Yeah Isn't that crazy I do that when I leave And as a comic

You're like nah I'm in New York Like what's your little cute city about Exactly That shit happens to me I go back home And I go bro I live in New York What are you talking about Yes

What are you talking about Yes Swing that Tell me this Tell me somebody tries to tell you About good food in Orlando And you go back home And you're like

Get out of my Fucking face Bro I see someone Standing in a crosswalk i just go by gate yeah yeah what are you waiting for yeah you let the government tell you when you can cross the street i jumped on the highway i don't get a show that's when i put on mass and get vaccinated yeah yeah that's true we are cucks too new yorkers are cucks about certain shit and we think that we're badasses about about everything 100 what is there to be badass about? Jaywalking. Nah, actually,

that shit is lit. What's up? We jaywalk in front of a cop. Of course you jaywalk. It's a one-way street. It's a one-way street. What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

Jaywalk on avenues. Bro, you give them Florida, it's a fucking six-lane highway. You're gonna jaywalk that. Easy. You walk across the highway? Everything's highways when you're still living in America.

Yeah. What is this guy talking about? You got a nice bridge over the highway you don't gotta walk across? That's what I'm saying. I did, in Orlando, I was doing a show Everything's highways In Orlando I was doing a show Yeah, there's a bomb going off. Was it Molotov cocktails? Piece of shit. You know what, man? Damn. Yeah, seriously, okay? We're trying to talk about our children. Yeah. Oh, man.

You're out. Goddamn, Putin trying to sabotage the fucking podcast. Now I'm back, right? Yeah. We just made a suspicious edit right there. That's weird. Yeah, we did. Now my mic cord fell out.

I fucked up. You did it, huh? Yeah, it happened. It was all on me. I'm fucking trying to do New York slander. That shit is going to happen. That shit don't happen, bro. But wouldn't you want your kid to grow up with that inflated confidence, even if it wasn't

based on anything real? Mm-hmm. It works. Yep. What do you want your kid like? You watch Euphoria. All these motherfuckers live in reality miserable. Oh, that's what happened.

Self-aware as fuck. And don't tell me what happened. Season two or three. That's what happened. Good call good call i'm team new york fire though that's what happened season finale oh my god i'm only on season two of the episode season 2 episode 2 don't say please I beg you

DM Schultz right now everybody tell Schultz DM him immediately pause this part again I hope Russia invades I hope Russia invades I hope they invade Ukraine the rest of Europe and then America as well.

If y'all tell me what the fuck happened in Euphoria, y'all never going to feel no euphoria in your life. The Russians take over and bring the fucking cold. Bring the cold. They're going to bring the cold, bro. There's going to be some White Walker shit happening. Oh, that's funny. Now, for real, that show.

Yeah. These little self-aware ass kids. Like, let these kids believe lies. Why y'all need to believe so much truth what are you saying new york is the most real place on earth no it's not reality is new york what is real about this place we live on top of each other everywhere crazy people all over the place going on the train you might get killed bro we think we think we're the most privileged people on the planet and we live on top of each other and little shoe boxes and stare at brick walls all day it's a lie the whole thing's a lie we walk around going nobody's as lucky as us oh

is there garbage just all over the streets yeah does it smell like piss everywhere there rats all over the fucking but we believe the lie and we're happier than all these other motherfuckers that live in houses with backyards and land we look down on them we go oh my god poor you we call you bridge and tunnel because y'all gotta come to us what an amazing thing propaganda is it's incredible and it's but you gotta buy it you gotta believe it this is crypto new york is the first crypto new york is the first crypto why don't you just do propaganda wherever you're at say again why just do propaganda wherever you do it then fuck you don't you just do propaganda wherever you're at do it then fuck you doing here we did

why you moved the happiest place on earth baby and you left to be miserable with us I know shit ain't happy

I know I wish I could go back to the happiest place on earth do some propaganda son do some propaganda what's your propaganda

oh Hinduism now you go on my seven lives whatever like do a life over there. We're not cats, yo. We are more than seven.

How many lives y'all got? 700 at least. All right, whatever. 700? Yeah, you got to do your fucking job. Get out of here. Cats at nine, you dumb fuck. Cats at nine.

He said seven. I was closer. I never said cats. Oh, it's this dumb motherfucker. He's in New York, bro. Those cats are not the same. I'll get it right in my next life, yo. I'll get it right in my next life, yo. I'll get it right in my next life.

Point is, we don't got to live here. Say again? We don't got to live here. That's the point. But we do. We want to. We want to because it's fire and we want to raise our kids here. No, you don't.

I saw a guy doing heroin on Houston Street today. Fire. You want your kids to see that? Yep. That could be your kid. They see it on Euphoria. So what are you worried about miami then i don't want my daughter to be a slut to be a slut to be like excited to be on people's yachts

that's a good point i literally don't want that no sluts in new york there aren't they move here they move here from other places and they to fit in they just fucking suck it up girls from new york are different, dude. I'm telling you, he's different. Girls from New York are fucking different. They've seen it all. They're 15 years old in the nightclub, grown men trying to hit on them. You think your little pickup line's going to work?

They heard it all at 15 years old. And they already fucked the guy, so they're not that worried about it. Exactly. They're not going to fall for it now. Oh, look at my apartment. They see nice apartments. They fucked that guy at 13.

They're not going to fall for it now at 15. All the girls that fell for West Endm Caleb, they were transplants. Of course they transplants. All of them. Maine, New Hampshire. No New York girl falling for that. I work at West Elm. Okay, what do you do?

Do you move around the sofas, West Elm Caleb? You're not getting no pussy moving around no fucking sofas. But these bitches from Maine are so excited. The guy's a goddamn architect. A designer. A furniture architect. I hear you say most of New York is transplants. Because most real New Yorkers either get out or don't make it out. They get out. Most of New York, 90% of New York is transplants.

Nice. This is facts. 90% of New Yorkers that could afford to leave in adulthood end up leaving. Yeah. Where do they go? Say again? Where do they go? Warmer climates probably that's

graduation is like if you make it here you can make it anywhere where did you made it here and now it's like now i could now i can go anywhere we made it dog we made it now let's go make it somewhere else let's just go like automall we're making it we're making it come on we're making it sick of y'all podcast ronnie's like bro we made it we made it I sold out one night at the Irvine Improv you're gonna tell me I didn't make it son

do you think they have just anybody at the Irvine Improv on a Wednesday night you think they have just anybody over there are you crazy we made it bro you're not gonna tell me I didn't make it who else in Ontario You think they met just anybody over there? Are you crazy? Yo, we made it, bro. You made it. You happened to tell me I didn't make it. Who else in Ontario?

Because if you can make it in Ontario, you can make it anywhere, man. Oxnard, come holler at your boy. Akash, when did you realize you were like, I fucking made that shit? So when I was landing the plane and going to Oxnard. Whoa, landed the plane? Yeah. I was like, whoa. How did you land the motherfucking plane? I landed it. And going to Oxnard, I, landed the plane? Yeah. I was like, whoa. I didn't even land the motherfucking plane.

Yeah, I know. I landed it. And going to Oxnard, I was like, this is the dream. I made it. I'm in a minivan on the way to Oxnard. You know what I mean? Who's more successful than your boy? Yeah.

Okay, they don't get bigger than this. That's fire. Miami or LA, Al? What do you think? Yeah, the lesser of two evils, I'm going to go LA. Really? What? You loved Miami. What? You loved Miami. evil, I'm going to go L.A. Really? What? You loved Miami.

What? You loved Miami. Yeah, but it's not real life. They got better hats in L.A. It doesn't feel like real life. That's true. Here's the thing about L.A. L.A. got swag. Why don't we just do two things?

You know what I mean? Let's do New York in the summer. No, that's possible. I would fucks with that heavy. I'd fucks with that heavy. New York in the summer and then Miami or L.A. in the winter. I'd fucks with that. But here's the thing.

We're talking about our two locations we're going to live in. And Ukrainians are also living in two locations currently. They know what it's like. You're right, dude. You're going to spend the summer in Poland. Yeah. Okay. And then the winter in probably New Russia.

Yeah. New York, New Russia. It's the same. You're going to be a transplant in your own fucking country yeah do you become an immigrant once someone else takes over your country or is it like when sprint got t-mobile and you just automatically are part of the thing did that happen yeah you automatically got turned over yeah what was it like being poor yo i was t-mobile so i acquired that was kind of nice. You were Russia.

Yeah, I was Russian. I'm Russian, dude. I'm Sputnik. I tried that Sprint back in the day. We all had Sprint in New York. You had Sprint? Nigga, I still had Sprint until you colonized me, motherfucker. Damn, piece of shit.

You didn't have Sprint. You got Sprint? Yeah, they had the best family play. Really? Because my mom, she's 65, so you can. I was about to make the abortion joke, too. I was going to make it a bit. All of us go for it. What was your joke?

I don't know. Something, something goes to Kiev. Oh, yeah. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because you got to get your nutrition up, man. And honestly, you don't have time. You don't got time to cook. Okay? You're busy.

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Which one you had? I had that chicken parm, bro. That protein-packed chicken parm. Hell yeah, bro. It was amazing, dude. Son, I'm amazed you remember the name. That's how good it was. Son, it was protein-packed chicken parm.

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Yes, I'll tell you. What is the deal with David Dobrik? Okay. It's up there. I had enough, yo. Casey Neistat is making a documentary about David Dobrik. What do you have enough of? These are your fucking topics.

Too much yelling. Just too much yelling. Just let him explain some shit for fuck's sake okay go what are you explaining david dobrik was uh who was talking about that don't you dare fucking explain it after saying you had enough no i'm asking who's gonna explain because somebody brought up the topic yeah so david dobrik uh was part of the vlog squad and he's like a massive creator on youtube and slowly things started to come out that he created unsafe environments or unwelcome environments for different people who are part of his squad he also uh got a guy with whose last name is

wittick jeff wittick yeah so jeff wittick uh he put him in like a unsafe situation where he had to get major eye surgery like constructive surgery because he was hanging over of a lake on like it was something unsafe but yeah the documentary sort of uh that from what i understand that nice stats putting out is going to be shown at south by southwest it's been being filmed for a few years now with david and it sort of like um explains what's happened on his side and also like strata like what I'm going to edit this section out.

What am I trying to say? Miles McCurry let's give it up for him real quick. That was great. That was really really good. You had it. In danger, is it worth the views you're going to get? You had it dude. You had it. Like if you put someone in danger, is it worth the views you're going to get? Miles, shut the fuck up. Fuck!

You had it, dude. You had it. You had it. Miles. Miles. Miles. Miles. Shut the fuck up.

That was great. Miles. That was really, really good. Miles, we needed something to talk about, and thank God we do. Okay? What just happened there? It really jumped on a grenade. What just happened? I don't know. I don't know. Because we needed something to talk about, and thank God we do. Okay? What just happened there? It really jumped on a grenade.

What just happened? I don't know. I don't know the answer to it. You don't know, and that's what happened. You started describing it, and you were like, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, and then you kept going. No, you don't. This is David Dobrik's last dance. Is it?

I think so. It's his, hey, here's my documentary to make me look good at all times, which is my one problem with the Kanye doc. It's also, I think, kind of similar in that sense, here's my documentary to make me look good at all times, which is my one problem with the Kanye doc. It's also, I think, kind of similar in that sense. But this is the thing, I guess, now, is we all put out documentaries that are just from our point of view, not we, people much more famous than me, even though I've made it. Dude, you've made it.

Yeah, dude, I've made it. There's a documentary coming out of me next year. But I think it's going to be, hey, I'm not a bad guy, everyone. Here's what happened from my point of view. Here's a documentary about it, which is way less fun than a neutral documentary. And why is Casey a part of this? Maybe they're homies from back in the day. Maybe he was a vlog squad adjacent guy.

I don't know. Was he vlog squad, Miles? He was not. Just yes or no. He's homies with him now. Just yes or no. Okay. That would be a good documentary, actually.

About the stroke Miles just had. That would be awesome. That would be an awesome documentary. And it would be so fucking long. Miles, what happened? Because this happens good documentary, actually. About the stroke Miles just had? That would be awesome. That would be an awesome documentary. And it would be so fucking long. Miles, what happened? Because this happens to me, too. Sometimes I'll have to, like, you know, I'll be talking. There's a word that I want to say, and it just won't come to me.

Is that what happened? Yeah, I wanted to say straddle, and I kept saying stratisfy. Stratisfy. That's not a word. It isn't. It was hitting my head. Just say it with confidence. It don't matter. Yeah, that's what Al does. I do it all the time. Yeah, bro. That's what I do, It was hitting my head. Just say it with confidence. It don't matter.

Yeah. I do it all the time. Yeah, bro. That's what I do too. Shit. Or just try to have us fill it in for you. Be like, you know, like kind of not blah, blah, blah. And then we'd be like, oh, ride the line.

Straddle. We're here for you, dude. You just gave up completely and then crawled into a hole and literally physically moved your mic. You see? You took your own mic away. I did. I did.

You took your own mic. You're like, I don't deserve this mic. And you removed it for your own. Sometimes I don't need it. I've never seen that. Miles just had a true breakdown. And what he's also realizing in the moment is this is all going to be kept in the episode. And it is fucking crippling him once

again. And he's just boxed in there. He can't fucking leave. And you're just dying laughing at him this is horrible damn bro which Harry Potter is this most similar gobbledefire gobbledefire I was thinking the same thing absolutely miles it's okay we're here for you okay just do this all day you got a little sweaty right there yeah this is good I think the whole podcast should just be us asking miles You guys do this all day, hours at a time. I'm so sweaty. You got a little sweaty right there? Yeah.

This is good. I think the whole podcast should just be us asking Miles to explain things to us. And you just fucking yam it to have a do's his way through it. That's it. I think that could be great. Okay? I haven't slept in days. Okay?

I'm a little stressed out right now. Maybe not in the best mood. And this would really cheer me the fuck up. Tell me about Russell Peters' wedding. Russell Peters had a big wedding. And some say, some say that it was better than yours. No, they don't. Some say.

Shout out to the fucking OG. Russ, you the fucking man. I love you, dog. Love you, buddy. But nah, bro. He got. You didn't even see it. Yeah, he got wedding gifts from everyone at his wedding.

Whoa. That's crazy. Guys, this is an old story. It's coming. It's going to come. It's not old. It's fresh. Yeah, it's pretty fresh.

I still haven't gotten a wedding gift. Yeah, it's pretty fresh. You get 24-7 devotion from me until then. And you get paid. Yep, I do. You don't do that for free. Yeah. Handsomely paid.

I don't. Some might say over. Okay, I need a fucking wedding gift. Should we start putting a timeline on this? I think you should start running up interest. Put a vig on it. I should put a vig on it. They created interest, now I'm back to-

Yeah, usury. Say the number. I feel used. Do you want money? Say the number. 10,000. Done. Sick.

Oh, can I say a number? I say I want a number too I want a number Don't just throw out numbers No no no I want to see Dove come through Let's let him come through 10,000 US dollars Don't fuck this up

You just said he'd do it Hold him to it I was going Canadian I was going to go rubles 10,000 US dollars Yeah go rubles That'll work out Hey

We're not talking about war anymore Oh yeah yeah We stopped talking about war We stopped talking about International conflict Miles Kanye is dating A Kim K lookalike. I've done that, where you date someone who looks just like the person you last dated. Really?

Yeah. Keep that shit running. You just have to fix the name. That's the hard part. You dated two trolls? Yeah. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

So where do you find other ugly girls? Is that... I said you dated two trolls. He just got right back on the same short bus where he found the first one. We can't bully Miles just because we're having a rough episode. That's not fair.

We're Russia now. That is Russia. I feel very Ukrainian right now. You do. No, you're in a relationship, right? No. that's not fair yeah we're russia now that is russia yeah i feel very ukrainian right you do no you're in a relationship right no whoa yes talk about it new topic oh i know is that one time i met a very hot girl that miles was dating damn but now any girl who hasn't met you knows they're not that girl. You fucking asshole. You piece of shit.

Why are you so mean? He's such an idiot. He's a bad guy, guys. You just learned this right now. It might be that girl still. It is. Oh, thank God. Let go of my boy. That's what I'm talking about.

Damn. You know what I mean? That's what I'm talking about miles okay okay miles is still single hottie yo you have recovered well since two minutes ago no thank you thank you miles might not be single miles might be in a relationship with a super hot chick she has to be worthy of him oh yeah miles is a high value man yes yeah alpha okay right mom am i high value i'm i'm come on miles i'm all right with the middle value i could be middle this guy bro this guy come on this guy he's a ukrainian hooker dude this guy no self-esteem i do have to snitch i gotta snitch

so mark gets this that was an anniversary present, right? What? That you went with your shorty and got like a universal bracelet. This episode's been sponsored by. Mild piggybacks on the same date and got a universal bracelet situation with that girl. Yeah, and then. Yo, that shit right there is mad gay that shit is so fucking gay no no yours clamps off theirs don't have a clamp they can't really yeah they're welded on welded bro

eternal love yeah they're doing like some gay shit over i was about to say i'm looking at your wrist i was like you got a bracelet too fam but i kind of want to go on this bullying i take my shit off wait a minute so wait why did you do that and was it with your new girlfriend she's not my girlfriend but yes you have a universal bracelet with a girl that's not your girlfriend i asked that a while what is going on you don't feel guilty crushing jewish box in williamsburg why are they jewish dude he's banging out these jewish broads in williamsburg you told me you were broads in Williamsburg. You told me. You were tearing up the Aruv, bro.

You told me, bro. Say again? They only do anal. Yeah, I didn't say he was fucking their pussy holes. I won't confirm nor deny. I did get that. And then I told Shifty. He asked me. He goes, yo, what do I do with my girl? And Shifty got the same damn bracelet with his girl.

All three of them are just piggybacking on the same good. So wait a minute. Oh, really? Yeah, Shifty did the same damn bracelet with his girl. All three of them are just piggybacking on the same gift. So wait a minute. Oh, really? Yeah, Shifty did the same thing. Why are you speechless? Why are you speechless? I can't bully Shifty. He's got to edit the special.

But in two weeks, I'm going to address that with Shifty. We've been putting Shifty through it. So I can't exactly go there. I've never seen him like this. Exactly. But now you have your own unique thing. Are you worried that you're also doing a unique thing? No.

It's not longer unique? That's a question to you, Miles. Oh, that's to me. I'm not worried about it. I had the idea, and then Mark took it first. Wow. Oh, no. And did it better.

That seems to be a common thing. Yeah. It's true. I don't know what I was saying. I was trying. I was trying. It's common. I was trying.

What'd you say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're on the road, just say thing. Just keep going. Just keep going. Yeah. That seems to be a common thing. I got to stratify this.

I got to power through. I got to stratify i gotta stratify this i gotta power so why'd you take his date gif better why do you have cards yo you're not a good friend to him you are you don't let him live with you you steal all his ideas you take credit for them you're not a good friend jokes what do you mean this is a toxic relationship he doesn't have the timing that i have that's true that's like duh i'm gonna take it. Yo, but when Miles is drunk, when Miles is drunk, we gotta get Miles drunk one episode. No stone pass it right

now. We can use it right now. Should we get him drunk? We actually need it. Can we get Miles Chivvy? Because when Miles gets Chivvy, he gets angry and he gets capitalist. He's a little bit cucky when he's not drunk socialist he's a little socialist cuck but once he gets fucking drunk he turns to a capitalist

and his resentment for mark comes out yeah he just starts fucking laying in oligarchs and the timing his time crazy crazy he's already got some stuff in the fucking thing right now, dude. In the thing right now. In the thing. In the thing. Miles? What you overthinking right now? Everything. I feel bad. I snitched on him. He told me that before the podcast. Yeah, but that's not

your fault. He stole your idea. He's abusive toward you. What do you mean? He's the Nate Jacobs in your relationship. He's abusive toward you. What do you mean? He's the Nate Jacobs of your relationship. I'm only on episode three.

That's all I said. Okay, good. I didn't give nothing away. Shout out to Nate Jacobs. All right, Mark, do your magic trick. I got no magic trick. Why do you have a magic trick?

You do. Just in case. No, you do have a magic trick. I don't have a magic trick. Damn, we're at this point that we don't have a magic trick. I got no magic trick. Just in case the game breaks give me a time scroll that down guys infamous tour toronto it's on it's happening i've been telling y'all this some of y'all still wondering i don't

know why the fuck you wondering we are coming there we are going to be there okay we're going to be there the fourth and the fifth okay we got three shows meridian hall we will see you there also birmingham alabama only a few seats left, Birmingham, Alabama, only a few seats left for that. New Orleans, only a few seats left for that. Cleveland, get on it. Pittsburgh, only a few seats left for that. Montreal, same thing. We got two shows. And then New York City, you know we had that second show. Atlantic City sold out. Vancouver, Canada, that's where the Infamous tour ends. Officially done right there. And then we got a special to deliver to y'all. So, dandrusholes.com for those tickets. This is the last time y'all get to see Infamous before you see it on the

screens in your home. Akash, what you got? Just watch it both. Go live, watch the special. It's gonna be dope both ways. Anyway, first of all, thank you so much LA. We sold out everything. Thank you guys. It was amazing.

Also, just to remind you guys, the March 11th Vancouver show is now moved to July 1st in case you guys are still being cucky. Make sure you copy your tickets. Now,

this month, March 18th through 20th, I'm going to be in San Antonio at LOL Comedy Club. Just added April 1st and 2nd, Toledo, Ohio. I'm going to be at the Funny Bone. Ohio, you guys have been asking me to come through. Cleveland, this close enough.

Just bring that ass through. I ain't making Ohio stops twice. I'm not trying to get got. April 8th and 9th, I'm going to be at the Tampa Improv. April 22nd and 23rd, tickets are starting to sell out, so go to Toronto. Go to the Royal Theater, akashsingh.com. Get your tickets. April 28th through 30th,ashsingh.com. Get your tickets April 28th through 30th. Bridgeport, Connecticut. I'm going to be at the Stress Factory May 12th through

May 14th. I'm going to be in Tacoma, Washington at the Tacoma Comedy Club. And May 19th through 21st, I'm going to be in Michigan. I'm going to be going to Holland, Muskegon and Grand Rapids. Get your tickets at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. There's a transracial influencer named Ali London. This is the transracial influencer named Oli London. This is the British chick that said that she's Korean. Yes. And she's planning to get... Why is he showing that guy?

I don't know. I was going to do it from Atlanta. That's an advertisement? That's just an ad. I've never seen an advertisement before. Yeah, I know. What is he asking to find out? I was like, whoa.

A package? That's some shit, bro. Have you never seen an ad? I don't understand. You watch the Super Bowl and you're like, whoa. A package? You never see the ad? I don't understand. You watch the Super Bowl and you're like, what's going on? I barely see what he's talking about. Okay, so this Oli London is planning to get penis reduction surgery in order

to look more Korean. She's trolling, right? This chick is just trolling. That's crazy. She's their Tekashi. She's one of these people that understands all publicity good publicity she looks she looks she looks korean he's he now oh he's he so be respectful are you sure uh according to newsweek he has revealed that he's looking into undergoing penis reduction surgery then why yo that's such a flex wait i'm cute wait i'm looking into that too wait yo i's looking into undergoing penis reduction surgery. Then why? Yo, that's such a flex.

Wait, I'm looking into that too. Yo, I'm looking into that. Yo, what a fire headline. Oh my God, where's my publicist? Put that shit out of everything. Schultz is looking. Hey, do something. Schultz is looking into penis reduction surgery.

How much are you taking off? Honestly? Be honest, please. I i think i gotta take away half minimum really how big is it six inches at least i gotta take away at least six to eight inches yeah i gotta take away at least six to eight inches if my girl gonna get pregnant yeah yeah i'm sticking just you know i'm stick. It's just, you know, I'm stick. The thing. Yeah. No, for real. That is a fire headline. Because what's the issue with your ginormous penis right now? It's just so big that it's causing pain for my girl.

And not you? Not me. That shit don't hurt me, dog. You don't step on it ever? Nah. Never step on it. I got a grower. I got a grower.

Am I calling him right now? Please call a penis reduction doctor. But isn't that a fire headline? Yeah. Yeah, but it's to appear more Korean, which is the funniest part of it. It's a part of his transformation is what it says. So he's not doing it because his dick is huge. He's doing it because his dick is too big to be Korean.

What are we doing right now? Dr. Alter's office? Excuse me. We were just looking up. Do you guys, I know you do penis reconstruction surgery and different things. Is there a reduction surgery that you offer? Can I place you on hold? Sure.

Yo, Dove had them on speed dial, son. Wait, who did you just call? Big Dick Dove, bro. Who did you just call? He's been looking into this. The doctor that does the thing. He said to do the thing. Okay when they come back we can we don't have to listen to the thing but we'll get to that where were we just talking i'm saying she's not she's not doing it because her dick is huge just he's doing it because his dick is too big to be korean in his mind yeah

i understand why she's doing it what i'm saying is like if you weren't transracial oh yeah trying to be asian and then just be it in the most offensive way yeah yeah you this person is committed to asian hate yeah like wait what was this person born as a white dude white dude come on white british dude and now it bts but now it's she or still i don't fucking know what this thing is. It says it was she first. It says white woman first. Obviously, it's a white woman. Who else would do this? Oh, so it was a white woman first.

Yeah. You just said it was white dude first. I think it was born a dude. And I think transitioned into a girl. And now he's transitioned back into a male Korean. Really? Is that accurate? I don't know. i think it has to be

born to do we're in a post-truth society okay and it's i don't know if it's possible to know what gender this person started as but we know it's a he now it's a he now and no it was always born with the dick because it's getting it reduced yeah i i'm i thought it was born a female man got a fake one put on. And now it's chopping the dick. Oh, got the wrong dick. Tripping it off. It's possible it could have got the wrong dick.

Can you do a Brazilian dick lift? Can you take fat from your body and then stuff it into your dick? I don't think so. Oh, to make a fatter dick. Yeah. Do you fatten your dick or is it just cartilage? One day. Oh.

Yeah, I don't think it's. Just cartilage. It's just blood. No, it's not. It's just blood and muscle. What? Muscle? Yeah, it just engorges with blood think it's just cartilage. No, it's not. It's just blood and muscle. What? Muscle? Yeah, it just engorges with blood. There's no cartilage. There we go.

There we go. There's no bones in there. It's called a boner, but there's no bone in there. I don't think there's muscle in there, though. There's cartilage. Isn't it cartilage? No, there can be cartilage. What about when you break your dick? Oh, what is that? That's the soft spongy something, right? Yeah. Spongy tissue

It's tissues I don't know if it's muscle Well something happens where you break your dick Like sometimes there are guys who have broken their dick And then when it gets hard it bends You strain your muscle You strain a muscle You sprain

No you don't sprain a muscle You strain or tear That's why I thought it was cartilage Isn't the stuff in between your knee bones the same as dick? Nah I don't think so You think that's dick? That's also your ears and nose.

You think your ACL is dick? Yeah. Like, if you tear your ACL, you could just put part of your dick in there. You could, right? You take a little strip of your dick. 100%. That's what OBJ did, dude. Oh, shit.

Yeah, he'd take a little piece of his dick. Like, you know how there's some, you know, like if you're a burn victim, they take the back of your thigh and they put it on your face or whatever. Yeah. You can get a dick graft if you tear your ACL. Or your meniscus. Okay. Yeah, most people walking around with dick meniscus, dude.

Yeah. Yeah, what is dick made out of? Say what? It says spongy tissue. That's all it says. That's it? Dick is made out of dick, bro. Dick is made out of dick.

What are balls made out of? That's actually a good question, too. What are balls? That's not true. true yeah it's cum sax I have mostly cum in my balls and veins as fuck not on the inside but the skin

my left ball is so fucking veiny dude my girl we're talking about when we want to start having kids and I don't have the heart to break it to her

like these things don't fucking work are you kidding bro I got so much varicose I gotta get that shit scooped and thrown up you know what I mean I got so much varicose. I got to get that shit scooped and thrown up. You know what I mean? I went to the doctor once.

Because your balls extend down when you're too hot, and they go up when you're too cold, right? Because I think you have to maintain the right temperature for sperm, or else the sperm dies. But my balls are just caught in a web of varicose veins. Wait, so do they even descend? Yeah, they descend. They come back up. My veins look like an old woman's feet. It's just varicosity everywhere oh that's sick absolutely so blue fully blue fully blue at all always blue balls 100 absolutely dr alter offers a solution

for all this yeah i know you could just get that shit scooped then pulled back i remember going to a doctor to ask about this yeah and then i was like what's the issue here and then uh he goes we could just get it pulled up if it's uncomfortable for you but if not don't worry about it i was like was there anything wrong health-wise he goes uh it's possible it could uh you know like a reduced sperm count because the temperature of your balls might be hotter because you have the veins down there and i'm like so you're saying it might be like harder for me to get a girl pregnant and they're like yeah and i'm this is when i'm single. And he goes, out here. And I was like, let's go. Yo, boy.

Right, though? God, look it out. That's why I always got to sit with one leg up like this. It's because literally the veins will create so much blood flow down there that I have to reduce the blood flow. Is it a parasite? Is it possible it's a parasite? Yeah, it's a parasite. It's a tapeworm.

It's a tapeworm. It could be a gay tapeworm that's just sucking up all your cum. It's not gay. But it's eating up all your cum. I have female cum, remember? Oh. Yeah, unlike you. Yeah.

My cum's mad. Dude, I was actually thinking about this. You know what's super gay? What is that? Blood transfusion. Say again? Blood transfusion. Why?

Because if you get your blood put in another guy, and then he's getting boners all the time with your blood, that shit is super gay. Oh, because his blood, your blood is into his dick. He's making his dick all hard. If that's what makes dicks hard. But that don't make you gay. That makes your recipient gay.

Yeah. My dick doesn't get hard from blood. It gets hard from pussy and fat tits. No, but it's blood that's literally making it hard. No, it's dick, bro. No, it's not. It's cartilage. It's cartilage tissue of blood. It's dick, bro. No, it's not. It's spongy tissue of blood.

It's dick, dude. It's ACL. Yeah. My dick just gets hard, and it's dick in there, bro. It's not blood. It's spongy tissue. Say again? It's spongy tissue.

I have blood in my arm, and I can squeeze it, bro. Blood doesn't make it. If your blood made your body hard, you just walk around like this all day. Right? Like a mummy, right? Why is it just when blood goes into your dick it's super hard and it can break anything?

Because it's spongy. Say again? It's spongy tissue. No, it's not spongy. Sometimes it is if I'm not that into it. It's always spongy. But for the most part

it's super hard. Blood is what makes your dick hard. It's cartilage, bro. No, it's not cartilage. It's ACL. It's spongy tissue. It's not!

Spongy tissue you fill with blood. You're saying once the blood hits the tissue it creates some sort of like a Black Panther suit. Have you ever seen a dried out sponge? My dick is a Black Panther, dude. My dick is Black Panther. Insult my dick. That shit will get orange.

Your dick looks like Forrest Whitaker, bro. Just fucking... Chill out, dude. Hold on, dude. I'll get so fucking bricked. Have you ever seen an old sponge under a sink? Yeah. That's your flaccid dick.

No. What happens when you fill it with water? It gets super hard and it comes all over girls' fucking heads. I can't stop it. Their heads. Yeah, it does. No, look. It's spongy tissue that literally fills up.

And then you have muscles located at the bottom, at the base. Okay? And that's what makes it sometimes go. No, the muscles have to be throughout. That's what that spasm is. Whoop. What's that? When you cum, it's just a spasm and it's boom.

What sound did you make for that? That's the cum coming out. Yeah, the cum's coming out. It's the sound of the police. Is that what you sound like? That's what I do. What do you sound like when you cum? No.

Yeah, that's my noise. Stop it. Yeah. What do you sound like, Al? I've been cumming all episode bro i think that it's not just blood i think blood does something to that spongy material you're talking about spongy tissue it's like he's trying to call you he's reading it no like i'm telling you what the answer is i know it implicitly you it was blood. It's blood and some other stuff. Spongy tissue. No, it's pterodactyl.

What was the shit that Miles was trying to say earlier? Spina bifida. It's spina bifida. I'm just saying, people say it's blood that makes your dick hard. No, it's not. Blood doesn't make anything hard. Or else we would walk around hard. No, blood makes your muscles hard.

No, it doesn't. Yeah, it does. No, it doesn't. Working out makes your muscles hard. Flexing. Boom. You ever seen flex? Say again?

What is a flex? It's flexing. Oh, shit doesn't work it out. It makes your muscles hurt. Flexing. Boom. You ever seen flex? Say again? What is a flex? It's flexing. Oh, shit. Flexing is the muscle. Yeah. What's going in the muscle to make it flex? No, it's just making the muscles shorter. Bro, you're a hydraulics.

Makes the muscles shorter. You're a hydraulics. It's like anything. You got him on that. Yeah, it just makes the muscles shorter, dude. You're taking a big thing. You're squeezing it together. It gets bigger.

Duh. You think it's blood going in there? What happens when you get a pump at the gym? What are you getting pumped with? You squeeze your muscles. You're squeezing them. You're going like this. You're a politician right now.

No, you're squeezing your muscles. How do you work out? You go like this, right? He's Putin-ing right now? He's Putin-ing. You don't work out like that. You don't stretch it all out. You don't stretch it out at all.

I'm just saying, when you work out, think about what you do. Yeah, okay. You think it's blood that gets filled there? You have it out at all. I'm just saying, when you work out, think about what you do. Yeah, okay. You think it's blood that gets filled there? You have the same amount of blood in your fucking body, idiot. You think you make new blood? That's why you get lightheaded sometimes when you work out. You think you make new blood? You do make new blood.

You make new blood while you're working out and none leaves? You make blood all the time. Yeah, I think he's right about that. You're not a woman. Fucking lady. Bleeding out six days a month. Six days a month, yeah. Or five.

Who knows? It could be a heavy blow. So my girl would be surprised about her period every month. I'm like, yo, fucking write it down. Every month. Every month she got a fucking attitude. For three days. And then you go, I got my period.

I had no clue. I had no clue my period was coming. I had no clue. I had no clue my period was coming. I had no clue. Every 28 days, I'm like, what the fuck a period? How do y'all not know this?

Is she super regular? Say again? Is she super regular? Yeah. It's the same within two days every single month. You gotta tell her one time.

It's like, yo, my ball looks like a map, dude. It's gonna be coming all the time. Read it. It going to be coming all the time. Yeah. Read it. It's going to be coming all the time, bro.

Read that thing. For real, girls. That's no excuse. Stop being surprised by your fucking period already. So according to this article, this is spongy tissue. And then these are all the different conditions. You still talk about dick, bro? Yeah.

God damn. Move on. I'm trying to diagnose. What's the next topic? I'm trying to diagnose his dick. Come on. Let's talk about sucking dicks or something, bro. What's the next topic?

Which one of these conditions do you have? He got ball issues, not dick issues. Are those Akash's relatives? Chardy, Ipsadias, Ipsadias, Palmatas. Yo, that's funny. I didn't even know some of these were possible. You're opening on the underside of the penis rather than at the tip? Dave has that.

Dave the rapper. Lil Dicky. Really? Yeah, he talks about that in his show. You've seen his dick? He talks about it in his show, Mad Times. That doesn't sound like a disability. Can we talk about how much dick is in the show Euphoria and ain't no pussy lips?

It's a lot of dick. And we don't ever see the trans girl's dick. I'm trying to see that shit. I ain't gonna lie. I'm trying to see it. I'm trying to see it. Hot ass girl with a dick yo y'all not trying to see her little dick she there's one part where you almost see it

whoa whoa whoa whoa don't break it up no he's already is it season one no no yeah she pisses you don't even see it you can think about about it, though. You can fantasize about it. I did. I did. Just look at your own dick and connect the dots. Say again? Look at your own dick and then connect the dots. It's probably similar. I don't got a dick like that, bro.

What do you mean? I don't know. That girl's packing heat, I think. She got mad confidence. And remember when Zendaya started to finger her even though she had a dick in that one episode? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, she put her hand down her pants and then she was just doing, like, the fingering

motion. Oh. But it wasn't, like, that and then she was just doing like the fingering motion. Oh. But it wasn't like that motion. She was just rubbing it up and down. A clit is kind of like a penis head though. But does she have to treat

the dick like a clit? Like do you think she jerks off by just like rubbing the top of it in a circle? Out of respect, yeah. Just polishing the top? Yeah.

Until she comes? Like a bowling ball. What is that? Like a bowling ball. Like you're shining shoes. I'm like, what is she doing? Yeah. I'm just saying what is she doing? Yeah. I'm just saying, they're clearly doing something.

And the creator of the show is a smart person. Yeah. So maybe he's trying to show how uneven nudity is. Yeah, that's what I thought it was. You didn't have any issue in Game of Thrones when they were showing mad boobies. But they weren't showing no box. Mild amount of box. More box than pee pee.

No, no. No lips. No box lips. No, but most of it was internal. It was mostly. I want to see dangly pussy lips why don't we ever see that on hbo not once yeah we should normalize that i would love that yeah let's go make it look like a saint bernard who cares i would like it yeah i would

like that because if you watch game of thrones mostly boobies sometimes box only one or two penises you never see pussy lips yes you never see pussy lips when you're in uh fucking bailish's little whorehouse you don't see pussy lips i think you're in fucking Baelish's little whorehouse. You don't see pussy lips? I think you do. I think you do. You don't. I know for a fact.

And if you look at the password. Wait, I think we got to look this up. You never see a girl like this. Spread like that. Like you see dick. You see dangling straight on. In Game of Thrones, and you see dangling straight on in Euphoria. You never see a girl spread legs like that staring right down her barrel.

Do you? It's a show about high schoolersers aren't they high school dick you're looking at yo isn't that weird too that's why are we looking at underage peepee no i thought it was a father we saw who's dick that we see in euphoria you see everybody there's a thousand dicks in that show everywhere dog every episode yes i do be looking yes I do be looking. Yes, I do be looking. Yeah. All right? I got a 65-inch screen. Watching 4K. Yeah.

Okay? OLED. High school dang alive. Nah, but they even it out with the boobs. They show a lot of boobs. None of those dudes shave either. That's another thing. No, it's even.

It's not even, bro. It's even. Yeah, that's because you're counting two titties per. You're counting individual titties. If you count sets of titties Sets of titties Dick is above I've only watched three episodes

Of the second season And the whole first season Can I give a hot take Yeah Yeah Obviously Yeah which character are you now Maddie over Cassie

For your boy G's up G's up Wait what Maddie over Cassie You don't watch the show dude He's gonna read the fucking Wikipedia. You like the blondie shorty with the fat tits?

Yeah. Yeah, I know I'm comfy with my wife because I be talking all the shit about that girl's big old boobs in that show, man. All the shit. As you should. You got to be natural. I know. Now we're at that point.

Yeah. Yeah. That she talk about the dicks in this shit? Nope. She better not. What you mean? She can't be comfortable? She better not.

She can't be comfortable. That's a quality. That's a quality.'s a quality i'll be hating on them too i bet you i think he fluffed his shit before the scene man yo because i'd be looking bro you would though right there was one dude his dick was bigger in one scene than it was in the other yeah you looking i'm good yeah i'm nate continuity jacobs one dick was bigger in one than another scene i think he was fluffing his shit up cgi not cgi uh just enhancement literally rub down what you looking looking bro i'm looking at dicks

why would you judge them though would you not yeah you have to medium slow you got to this any psychopath that didn't put their that puts their like actual small dick out you're crazy yeah it's wild you got to have it almost hard, but still facing down. I would put tape on the bottom. I'd tape it to my balls. I have full hard dick, and they'd be like,

yo, why is it bent at the top a lot? And I'd be like, that's how my dick looks. Stop shaming me. I would literally have a rope tied right under my head so you couldn't see it, and I'd have that going

right to anal beads, and I'd stick them up my ass so you couldn't see it. And I'd be squeezing my ass cheeks. I'd be squeezing my ass cheeks to keep it down but have the super fattest fucking dick. And I'd just say my one line.

That's it. Just dick and one line. But it's not even a nude scene. What was your line be? It's not even a nude scene. I'd be like, I'm here to audition for Oklahoma. If your kid was trans, would you rather it was a boy that transitions to a girl or a girl that transitions to a boy? Hey, cut that out with the girl transition to a boy shit. Fuck out of here with that all that.

Come on now with that all that. Under my house? Nah. Nah, bro. Nah, bro. You got to have a pecker to be a boy in my house. If you wanna go to male to female, I'm with that shit. I could use some more pussy

in this place. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? Yeah. So what? Go help your mama. Also, it might not be post-op. Go help your mama with something. Your daughter might steal the penis in this situation. Say what? Nah, if she gonna do it, going to do it all the way.

And I get to pick out that little pussy. Or at least help. Don't you want me to tell you what a good pussy looks like? Don't you want your dad to tell you what some good pussy looks like? Yeah. You don't want your dad to tell you? I'm going to tell you what a good pussy looks like. Back in my day.

Back in my day. That my day that pussies are played out there you're gonna be mad played with your pussy taste oh my god you think pussy taste is trendy i think so i think it's gotta be on trend i would help her though yeah yeah and i would like that also keep your dick too that's fine either way i'm all about that but if you have a female trans that's like oh i'm actually a woman what you doing to yourself i don't know a daughter what you doing to yourself a woman that's actually like i'm a boy a girl that says i'm a boy gay girls that's the same oh don't think that's the same so you don't believe in girls younger than me yeah like i

know i do believe it but like when when lesbians, a lot of times, like, the bull lesbian. I don't know the proper term. You say mask. Oh, the masculine lesbian. The alpha lesbian. The alpha lesbian is treated the same way as the trans dude. Like, I think societally. And the expectations were the same.

They were dressing as dudes, acting as dudes, strapping down their titties so you couldn't see them. I just didn't think trans were accepted enough for them to fill that role. So now a lot of those girls that we saw up, saw grow up dressing as what is it called? Bull? What is it called? Not bull. Masked lesbian. You don't say bull.

What is mastodon? What does that say? Masculine. Oh, masculine. I never heard that. Masculine. I thought you said the dude lesbian. No, you don I never heard that. Masculine. I thought you said the dude lesbian. No, you don't say dude lesbian. We call them bulls. What is that short for? Bull dyke.

Right? The dude lesbian or the chick lesbian. That's how we used to do it. Yeah. But those, they weren't offended. It's masculine femme. That's what it is. Me would say you would call femme.

Yeah, I heard femme. Femme. Yeah, femme. Or the hot lesbian. Right? The hot lesbians, right? ask him femme that's what it is me would say you would call femme yeah i heard femme yeah femme or the hot lesbian right the hot lesbians right the one that's probably bi let's be honest right the one that's just going through a phase this is your scissor phase the base on your attractiveness we judge how gay you are. Yeah.

That is unfair. It's truly unfair. These women could be lesbians. I'm glad we evolved from then. 100%. You did? Did we evolve from it? I did on camera.

You know? You watched that show Euphoria? You haven't watched it also, can't you? I know everything about it. That shit, I'll tell you this. Pretty trans people

change your whole perception. We need to have that beautiful trans chick on the show. I would love that. What's her name? Hunter Schaefer.

Hunter Schaefer. Jew? I'll look that up. Because that's interesting. Because she's going to get circumcised again. She's like, Dad, you didn't take enough. We can set up Dove and Hunter. Huh?

We can set up Dove and Hunter. Ooh. From Trenton, New Jersey. We should have like a Trenton on the show. I would like that. But like one that's cool, we can ask them anything. We need to be able to ask. We need to have a safe enough environment where we can ask

the ignorant questions. Yes. Because without them thinking it's bigoted. No, no, because we do. Do you know the number one song in Ukraine right now? What is it? I don't know. Bombs Over Baghdad? This guy is... You are just so fucking... That was uncalled for.

That was uncalled for. That was uncalled for. I'm talking about war in other countries, guys. Is that something I can't talk about? You guys know this is not the only place getting attacked right now. The Ukraine, right? Maybe I'm the only one woke enough to think about this. All wars matter, guys. O-M-G. That is crazy.

Do you think that in Yemen, if they just wore blonde wigs to the weddings, that it would be safer? The drones would just fly right over. They wouldn't even notice. No threat here. Yes. Yeah. Blue contacts, blonde wigs.

You still get to cover your hair and wear hair. So now everybody is taken care of. And you don't get bombed because your blonde hair, blue eyes. There you go. I think we just solved the war in yemen yemen done oh so apparently the uh battle cry for the ukrainians is d snyder song we're not gonna take it oh shit oh is it i know that song oh yeah hang on stop the press that's not how they say it. Oh, because they're from Ukraine. They're from a different country. We're not going to take it there.

No. We're not going to take it there. They're not from that country. We're not going to take it there anymore. That's the next war. That's the next war. That's coming up. Go back to what's happening now.

I think it's more European. Oh, okay. Okay. More European? Yeah, more European. Oh, okay. Okay. More European? Yeah, more European. We're not going to take it. No, we're not going

to take it. All right, we fucking took it. We're the UK. A little further east. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Why. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Why would we take it? Why? Why would we take it? We're not going to take it. No. No more airplane. No. No.

Why? No more. We're going to take it. Okay. Oh, man. Okay. One time for the culture. A little right and up.

A little right. Okay. Okay. We're not going to take it. Not yet. We're not going to take it. We're not going to take it anymore. Bye, guys.

Thank you. Bye guys, thank you