Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Ralph Barbosa on Netflix Fame, Getting Recognized at Jiffy Lube, & His Love for Tom Hanks

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

YERRR – Texas’ own Ralph Barbosa is on Flagrant and it was straight vibes. Is Ralph a weeaboo? Is he addicted to junk car hustles on Facebook Marketplace? Ralph brings his chill comedic genius to the Flagrant table to explain it all. We're talking Bobby Lee, taping specials, drinking games, crowd work magic, and an Epstein-Tom Hanks crossover that should not make sense—but totally does. All that and more on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 Ralph Barbosa hosting 00:44 Ralph's a weeaboo 2:03 Facebook marketplace + Junk cars 5:23 Ralph's in love 7:43 Choose up + History Buffs 14:34 What is true love? Boat stories 24:12 Chicago = incredible 26:49 Puerto Ricans + Ralph's country accent 30:31 Ralph's rise in comedy 34:45 Drinking games + Akaash's eyes 39:10 Not reading comments + Taping 42:46 Bobby Lee + working on your comedy 46:41 Resting b*tch face + 360 fight 52:33 Akaash = all the races + Ego death 1:01:12 Ditching therapy + Yearly Punch Up 1:06:31 Never being in a fight 1:11:15 Gathering knowledge on podcasts 1:15:06 Marrying different + Mark's Prison Vist 1:22:01 Mexicans love Chevys + Houston love 1:28:40 Being a dad + Demographics 1:37:20 Epstein + Tom Hanks' best movies 1:44:09 Middle spots = best + Crowd working 1:53:03 Racing channel + Sopranos' Ending 2:01:03 Akaash = greatest wing man Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And we're back, everybody. I'm Ralph Barbosa, and I'm going to be taking over flavoring today. Hell yeah, let's go, baby. Good shock fighting. I'm down. First time, we're going to make some changes around here. This is your camera. Yeah, also, what are we back from?

Commercial break. This is the start of the episode. It's the start of the episode, dude. Well, welcome, everybody. Hey, Ralph Barbosa is on the episode. Let's go. Yes, superstar. What are we talking about today?

You, man. You, whatever else you want to talk about? I heard George Lopez loves. loves you, favorite, your favorite comic? Probably. Me and George Lopez will be starring in the new Street Fighter movie, so be too much to that.

I think that's just a street fight. It'll be on Twitter. It's fight it. Yo, so you got a new special just came out last Friday as of the time of this movie. Yeah, that's Friday my special came out.

Yeah, I heard it's killing it, dude, crazy numbers. Yeah, it's the number one special in the world. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, it's the greatest special ever made. What's it called? You want to plug it?

It's called Planet Bosa. Yeah. And it's on Hulu. It's on Hulu. Not Netflix. It's a Dragon Balli ripoff name. It's like, they have Planet Vegeta. Oh, I was wondering what that was.

Yeah. So it's just like Planet Bosa. And that was kind of stretch. I'm going to be honest. It wasn't that clear of a connection. It definitely not that clear. But it always makes sense. The trailer had like, you know, like some video game animation.

You hit the, you know. The Dragonball in it. Oh, no, no, no, I hit the Kamaama Ha. Adukin was the last special. I didn't know you were since a little weebu. Nah. Yeah, you're a weeaboo, bro. Not really, bro.

Not really, boy. What is a weeaboo? A weeaboo? That is a white person that's obsessed with, like, Japanese and Asian culture. Oh. I'm not obsessed. I don't even know the name of my favorite sushi spot. He ain't saying he's not white, though.

I can't really, but he's like, I'm not upset. I'll take it, bro. You got to take every, like, opportunity to be white. what are you doing now that you got all this money you got all this fame how's how's life different you came on here 2023 i think of us and you were just starting your crazy rise yeah which is fire i'm glad we see you both so how's how things changed how's life changed you know it's crazy is i'm i made so much money from then to now but today i have the same amount of money i had when i first came on here but what you've lived with your your pops facebook marketplace brother

Yeah. How many devils? I'm a horrible negotiator. Yeah, what does it look like? Like, how often you want Facebook marketplace looking at cars? Be honest. All the time. Every day. And I love to be the guy who, like, blesses people. Because you're on marketplace, you know how it is. Everybody's low-balling you. I love to be the guy that's like, I'll give you $10,000 extra. Why? I won't do that. I'm like, as, as an Indian inside of him is getting so angry. I couldn't handle it. Wait, so what do you spend her money on? I know whips, but like, how many cars?

you got so the first time i came out here i had a few cars and i was really proud of like oh i have like this low mileage and paula and stuff but i've discovered i don't like that i've discovered i'm more into the marketplace junk that we can like turn into something you know yeah what kind of junk junk like junk bro like um like i bought a 19706 camero not even like a z28 yeah real trash real It sounds awesome. Automatic. Huh? Force speed automatic.

Like the worst version of it. The worst version. But I like that. I like that. It holds in the ground. This is very, this seems like white things you do. I'm saying it's a weird boo-ro.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, this seems like what white people do. I was out in the Hamptons for a couple weeks, very white place. And what they will do is buy old cars for while they're in the Hamptons and whip those around. And that's the flex. That's their Hampton car? How shitty is your Hampton's car? Yeah.

What? No, that's not shitty. It's not shitty. It is shitty. But are they like old, like, classics? Like, are they, like, shitty, but worth a lot? It's like an electric FJ or it's like just like, it's an old bronch. Like a 1988 lane cruiser.

That's okay. It looks kind of tough, to be honest with you. But completely refabbed. The interior is all redone. They're super. What are you talking about? Bro, the, son, I was in Andrew's fucking SUV. He was like, where's the gear shit?

His car is impossible to get. It's impossible to get. It's all esoteric car. That kind of shit. What's, what do you say? It's like all cars that are sort of hard to get, like, that are unique and low volume cars. They're still pieces of shit.

But they're, no. They're like technically valuable. Yeah. But they're like, no, I don't think they're technically value. Like a 90s defender is like 200K

and everyone out there wants one of those. Is Michelle Pfeiffer still alive? That's a great question. Yes. I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say, when I see these cars, I think of like Michelle Pfeiffer.

Like in her time, like this was the shit. It was the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, you still have to respect the beauty. You still got to respect that it's a Michelle Piper car.

Even though today, I wouldn't. Stop it, Ralph. You're not going to, come on. Let's get Michelle Piper. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. In his time. Let's get Michelle today, though. No, I think she aged as a woman is allowed to age

naturally. Jamie Poolewell up. She didn't do get no work done. But I'm not, I'm not taking a run at it. But I just did Rogan's podcast. Her as Catwoman. Maybe it'll start like a white woman. No, Ralph.

Ralph, how is being single at this? Oh, I'm single. Oh, I'm in love. Oh, with whom? I can't say. Why not, dude? Wait, hold on. She doesn't love me back, bro.

It's horrible. Wait, sorry, I forgot your name already. Gabriel. Can you finish it? Abraham. Abraham, oh, my bad. Abraham? He's so rich, bro.

He's people's names like. He just makes it up. He's like Abraham. He's like, Gabriel. No, I'm just old, dude. He's like, Eric. And he's too nice. He almost accepted.

He said, yes, sir, Gabriel. He was going to go with a day one in the road, bro. All right, so Damien, tell us a little bit of a lot. Please, please do that to him because he needs a comeback story. This is going to be in the NFL one day, hopefully soon. Word, what happened? Nothing happened. It's in the process.

What do you mean what happened? Did he already look like he missed his shot? Yeah, that's what you said. You said comeback story, dude. Why are you putting that on me? The comeback story, as in like, when he makes it big, he's going to come back here and be like, remember you forgot my name? All right. Aaron, so tell us a little bit, what's going on with Ralph's love life?

He's in love with some girl, unrequited love. I can't say much, but... Then why the fuck we give you a microphone? Dmitri? I can't be a seller to my guy, bro. He's a loyal friend. He's on the team. How many cars he bought you to keep this silence?

Zero, but he fixes my car. Oh, there you go. He has AC thanks to me. He's not wrong, bro. He needs it right now, bro. He's sweating. My AC got messed up. I didn't know the Dallas Heat was real.

And he warned me, but... Where'd you come from? California. Oh, Dallas Heat is different. Yeah, it sucks. And now when I go back, I'm like, I can't do that. I used to say I'm going to move back. And now I'm like, fuck that.

I hear in the Hamptons driving Michelle Pfeiffer around. It's crazy how fast it changes, right? It switches up, quick. Wait, so where's this girl? She live in Texas? I don't want to talk about it no more. No way. Dating life has been fun.

Abraham life is cool I'm not trying to threaten you all I'm saying is I do have the number to ice so much Hey bro

they want me here and there you can't get me here I'm legal in both countries You can't lose I heard Trump is trying to take that shit away The dual citizenship For everybody You got to choose up

That's what I heard Oh that's fine That's fine You're getting dual citizenship I know but it's still fine For Trump to do that shit I was like nah You got to choose one.

If you, if, like, you had to pick a country to be the next, like, superpower, like, the place everyone goes to to get jobs, what would you want to do? India? Yeah, I mean, yeah. That's what I think it's going to be. For real? Yeah. Nah, India's doing that good right now. I like to you talking about, like, an NFL team.

Like, wait, who'd they get? Who did they get? He's on the come up, dude. They had a long way to go, but they're on the come up. They had a long. They got a long, yeah, yeah. They got built a factory. Yeah, yeah.

China might be it before. India, but I think India is going to outlast them. But, like, if it was up to you, you'd choose India? Yeah. What else would I choose? Like, where I wanted to be or where I think it's going to be? Where you want it to be? I don't know, bro.

It's got to be a place with dreams. People got to believe that it can happen, and it's always got a place with nice weather. That's what I want. Spain. Yeah, South of Spain. What if we just run it back? Because Spain used to run all the shit. Japan and Portia.

Spain used to run shit? Yeah, back in the... I thought you were history. Why do you think you speak Spanish? I'm sure that. My Joe said you would say you would. He said he was a history guy. You're talking about the history of Australia.

When? Talking about the history of Australia. You were talking about the Boston Tea Party at the podcast in L.A. Oh, yeah. You know about the Boston Tea Party? You switched up on us, bro. Do I know about the Boston Tea Party? I have an idea of it.

I feel like that's one of the – it's because of the Boston Tea Party, like, if you really think about it. Like, on social media these days, they don't make white people look good, Mark. I'm sorry. What do you mean? White people did this and white people did that back in the day, right? I agree. Oh, that is true. Yeah.

Make white history look so bad. All right. Thank you. But you guys had cool-ass moments, like the Boston Tea Party. Yes. Right? Because of taxes and shit, right? Exactly.

Something like that. Civil war. Right? I don't know about civil war. Well, half of us look good. Half of us look pretty good. Half of them look good. Half of you guys look fucking, thank you.

That half gets lost. It's a real, hey, hey, we look at the Civil War as a real glass half empty kind of situation. Right, isn't it? You know what I mean? What about the other? What about the water? Yeah, yeah.

Which you guys were waiting. Exactly. What half? What half are you talking? I'm Canadian, bro. That's what you, like, people would come up there for refuge. Okay. And we would take y' all in.

So Boston Tea Party. It's a cool moment to you. Because I think that's cool because a bunch of Boston dudes, you know, you just mad as fuck that the checks at net and then gross they got a versus deal they're like the fuck let's go dump this gay ass tea in the water

yeah Doug coffee from now on fucking you know what great breeding was just like the fuck they doing and start fighting while I was watching this one video because I'm not really a history buff but I'm trying to you know

gain up my knowledge here and I was watching this video on like like how how like Montreal war started and shit? Yeah, like, which ones? Yeah, there was like World War I. It started with like World War II.

It was like, how did that one start? And the video was like, well, to understand how that one started, you got to understand why World War I started. And then in that video, that dude was like, if you got to understand how this was started, you got to understand, like the seven years war and then the French Revolution. That's too much. See, now you're losing. But this is my theory.

You got to understand. They lost me on all of it. This is my theory on history. Is it like to understand any war right now You got to go back to the first one to the other one There's only ever been one war You know what I mean? Which was?

Just life You know what I mean? Like to understand like You're a really I know, aren't you? I like to understand I know it's true though Okay, because gangus Khan

I got to study fucking Genghis Khan To see how Trump got elected Unfortunately yes Yeah I mean like what is that It's so annoying To understand the Middle East right now You gotta go back to World War II When it all got carved up

But that's not that far back You can't But then to understand World War II You got to go to World War I Okay And to understand that you got to understand Let's start out of Africa War I. That's the one.

From there forward, from that guy getting shot. What's his name? Franz Ferdinand. Archduke. What the fuck is that dude? You're the one that saw the video. So apparently, I don't know, he's going to know better than me. He'll give you in-depth. We need a history expert on this spot. But Franz Ferdinand was the Archduke of Prussia.

Prussia, which didn't even know a thing anymore. Prussia. His assassination. What were they at? Fact checks. Near Russia? Yeah. Yeah. They were biting Russia heavy. They were like, yeah, we need a name for them. this shit. Osra hungry.

Austria hungry, fuck. Dude, I was so good. But he got shot and that's what kicked off. That was like the thing that kicked off World War I. And then World War I kicked off World War II. That one I know about because we were apparently... I saw on the video that Great Britain, they were like dying to go to World War I. Like they were like they wanted that shit because they wanted to take out Germany's Navy.

Apparently, like everybody was kicking Germany's ass pre-World War I. So I think that makes sense because apparently after World War I, Germany was fucked. And then they, like, made them pay all these taxes or whatever. They were just, I don't know what taxes were. Like, very heavy-handed. Germany had, like, some rough fucking years. And then they got really poor. And then when Hitler came in power and they started making more money,

they were like, oh, okay. Like, that allowed for Hitler to come into power. Yeah, yeah. And to be, like, enabled. I don't know about all that. I didn't get that far into the video, but what I understood, Germany had only become Germany for, like, that shit, they had austerity. Type shit, yeah.

Type shit, yeah. I know about World War II type shit. My information is all type shit information. I'm not exactly right. but it's that type of shit. The way they try to kill France Ferdinand is hilarious. So this is the dude, basically you got like a whole... Everyone is pissed off in Europe.

Everyone's got different alliances. And then this one guy dying basically created a whole issue and put every little alliance into motion. Everyone starts fighting. I feel like the bigger your mustache gets, like the more people probably want to kill you, you know what I mean? Like that guy was pushing it. Yeah, yeah.

I feel like that's how Andrew Scholl's going to look in a few years. Yeah, once you start going up, like once it starts like to defy gravity. So you don't... He hasn't talked about this, but they're going to take the extensions out of his hair and leave a couple for his mustache. You know what? I noticed about this guy, beautiful eyes. Yeah? Yeah, you didn't notice that?

Are you too homophobic and Mexican, to be honest about the fact that his eyes are... I'm not even blind. Because they're that blue. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. The guy who's probably fucking bitches back then. Mm-hmm. I think that's actually what happened.

He was literally on a vacation with, like, his mistress, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. He was in Sarajevo with, like, a side piece, and then... Or some shit like that. Man, they shot. You know what's crazy about that is if he had just been honest and told his homies who he was in love with, maybe they could have saved his life. You know what maybe he wouldn't have gotten killed.

Sometimes you got to die for love. You don't know what true love is, even though you're happily married. Okay, tell me about true love, dude. True love, you just feel it. True love is a combination of, like, head chemicals and brain chemicals. If you don't stop rotating in this chair, we're going to have to switch. Oh, yeah. It's been way, it's been crazy.

Tell me that a lot on the podcast, don't rotate. You'll just sit here. Because now you look less comfortable. No, it's okay. Okay. You put your arms here, just rest them. No, I better not. All right, let's stay still and let's talk about some real subjects.

How's married life for you? How's that been? I love it, dude. I love it. You thinking about it? Do you feel like it's affecting your comedy? Like, are you more like a Ray Romano type now? Yeah, I talk about marriage more.

But as soon as I started getting it. in relationships, I talked about it more. But there was like a whole, there's like a whole gold mine there of stuff to talk about. There is. I mean, in everybody's situation is a little unique, but also relatable. The more unique and specific you get into your stories and your jokes, the more relatable they end up being. I know I got a good relationship joke based on the type of laugh.

Because there's a laugh that's like, that's us. That's when I'm like, oh, I got one. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't think there's a big market for people who are in love. with somebody they can never be with. No, there's a massive market for that.

Drake built a career off of that. Drake loves everybody, though. Well, I mean, now he's in a different space. He's whoever he wants. Yeah. But back when he started, it was a lot of, like, I like you, I don't know if you like me. I can see that kind of journey for you.

Do you think Drake will ever find love, like true love? I don't know if he's looking for it. I think once you hit a certain tax bracket, it's that much harder. Do you think you're going to hit that tax bracket? Because what I'm seeing for me is I don't want to be that. I want to be like I don't know. Who knows what I want?

You, motherfucker. Also, let the record show. Akech is going to try to force you to get married, okay? Because ever since Aikov got married, he wants everyone else to be married. That's not because I got married. Because I'm Indian. We arrange marriages. That's never, you don't ever test my Indians. He's like, I got it good. You get to choose. That's a good point. He won.

That is true. I'm lost. Yeah, it is. See, that's cool about the Indian cultures. Like, you guys get to choose, and I feel like that's a big weight off the shoulders, you know? Yeah. It's like, I don't want to choose, bro.

Yeah, because too many women have thrown themselves at you. I've heard stories. What, from who? We do the same venue sometimes. I hear stories. You hear stories? They're bad stories. They're wrong.

They're pretty cool stories. They're not. They're wrong. They're pretty cool stories. They confuse me and Abraham a lot, even though he's like seven inches taller than me. I don't want to blow up your spot. I'm just saying I hear stories.

And if this girl whom you love or guy, whatever, if this person that you love, this non-binary person, if they don't get it together, they might lose the opportunity. They might have Ralph Barbosa slip through their fingers. Their fingers, I'm saying they. That part, you should listen to them, but don't listen to the stories, all right? The stories are just rumors.

This is a coveted asset. I'm like, like, I'm very professional. know i'm like cia i go in there i get the job done and i'm out like james bond jason born are you talking about comedy or hose uh no comedy i don't you're going a boat with hose i know it sounds i know it's like the song or whatever but you just brought up a memory is it chicago yeah how do you know about this i just you know i heard stories you what can i say ral These stories, too.

Sometimes we do the same boats. You know what I mean? Sometimes I was talking to the captain. I was like, you had any pirates out here. I was like, oh, there's one. We took the captain to the show afterwards. I was not like partaking in the hose on the boat. I was more just an observer.

And I'm also not saying like I have to be very clear about this because I don't want to like be. Upset the person you love. No, no, no. I just don't want to like fear. Did you tell me about this story? Because I didn't hear about this boat. Yes. I just want to say, I don't know, I'm not saying that all women are hos.

No. I'm not referring to women as hos. No, I'm saying these particular women were, in fact, hos. As in horse, prostitutes. No. They're not professional. When you said, in fact, I just thought the fact. When you add the R, I feel like you're implying that they're like, get paid.

These women were not getting paid. That's worse. That's actually considerably worse in my eyes. These women were hoarse for sport. Love of the game. That's better to me because they're doing it out of their heart. They're hoeing from the heart. Okay, got it.

Nah, it was just crazy to me. We're in Chicago and... I just look at Ho's, like, Open Mike Comics and Hoare's, like, headliners. You got to work your way up to that. Yeah, like, you're doing it. We all love the game. Earned the hard art. Yeah, but you don't get paid spots yet.

I don't know, man. Okay. I'm, like, very artsy, so I just prefer a hoe over a whore. It's creative. Okay. The money's not taken. anything yeah yeah yeah yeah so creative okay go ahead sorry continue sorry anyway um we're in Chicago doing some shows and we decide to stay in extra couple days to rent a boat because everybody

not everybody but a woman at a nightclub was like you got to go on the lake while you're here you got to go rent a boat like everybody goes on boats and sound like all right it's cool so i tell these guys and like other guys that were with us I'm like let's do it for Monday it was like a Sunday and you know like most men I'm in a group text with my boys so I hit these guys up I'm like hey come to Chicago like tonight so that we can go on a boat tomorrow if you guys get here early tonight we'll go out to a club and you know you go out there meet girls invite them out to the boat because I don't want to just be a bunch of dudes on the boat

you know I mean it feels like a hell merry play almost just very last minute like come we meet some girls let's go on a boat and everybody's like fuck yeah let's go let's do it most of the guys show up even the dude with the girlfriend who should not have showed up but it's a boat though but hold on

so this is how he almost sinks the boat he shows up they all show up and the dude with the girlfriend ends up bringing his girlfriend so it's like all right what yeah it's like cool whatever at least you have your date

you know what's fine you know the only thing I don't like about that is that This isn't a couple's thing. Yeah. This is guys inviting random women on the boat thing. Yeah, amateur horse. Yeah. So it's like if you're going to bring a girl, you should have just stayed out.

Yeah. Because here's what can happen. I'm not anti-coupled, no, but here's what can happen. And it did happen. Couples argue on boats. Oh, this sounds awesome. It's inevitable. That sounds awesome.

Once you get to a certain longitude latitude, the argument is just started. From you to Triangle. Yeah. You get out there. things start getting a little way. So anyway, my buddy invites this one, the door chick at a club, and Abraham takes a date out there. It's a very nice person.

She brings like her cousin and it's like TikTokers and stuff. A door girl at a club is hilarious. Like a bouncer? You brought a bouncer? I don't know. I like the idea of a door woman. Which I don't understand like what her job you've been. was she was just there names i guess i think she i think she's just there to be like well she didn't

get her name she's just like going go in yeah it's just she's just judging you and she's like yeah they look good enough to get it i think she's just there in case people invite her on boats yeah or that or that yeah yeah yeah she was nice with her and we go out there and there wasn't even like music playing and the women just started shaking their asses which was like like acapella like just Acapella twerking, yeah. You just hear clapping in the distance. Which is why I'm like, bro, like, when women get over water, they just get, like, extra holly sometimes.

Not all women, just holes get extra hoax. Hes set their game up on the water. Yeah. Yeah, it's a big venue for them. Yeah. That's the show. Maritime law also. Yeah, I mean, like, you just get out into, like, these deep waters

and I just think it starts to messing with their cycles or something. Maybe, yeah. Like the moon and the waves. Yeah, exactly. But even my photographer, where's geeky? He's out there. My photographer's brother. even he was shaking his ass

and that's when I was like all right bring the boat back the waves were affected too much but anyway it was fun didn't music get put on yeah

no we did put music on immediately nah we got out there got settled in the water was cold man yeah you went on a lake that's kind of funny to me

that you got a yacht on a lake like I know the Chicago lake is beautiful but I'm sure it's beautiful they got a yachts on it I just assumed this story would take place in the ocean you might be being

liberal just do it Yacht, you know what I mean? It's a yacht, bro. It was big. Big? It was as big as yacht you've ever seen. How many of these women, these G-League whores, how many of them were on this boat?

Double digits? Nah, no, no, no, no. It was like six tops. And what was the ratio? Because it was about even, right? It's like six dudes, six women. Just a, you know, basketball game, six-fee-six. It's like five-on-five with the subs.

You know what's crazy? Like, Chicago is nuts, bro. I think Chicago is top three greatest nightlife cities In the States I think Chicago, if it wasn't for the weather It'd be, and it's a massive thing, but it'd be the best city Maybe in the world. Bro.

Fuck, yeah. It's incredible. It's not better in New York, but Well, like, New York is cool, but I guess I haven't experienced enough nightlife in New York. I need to experience more nightlife in New York Because I like that. The bars stay open until like 4 a.m.

That's cool. Chicago, you can find some of that, too. but Chicago I feel like is also I don't know I guess because it's not as big as New York it's easy to like run into different people which I think is pretty cool like you get to know people and stuff yeah yeah yeah but

Miami's so much talent out here we have like professional whores but they still act like hose so it's a good place to be. Women New York women I'm unbelievable probably better than Chicago women like I can't imagine Chicago I have some fun out here not to say you partake I'm In particular, based on the stories, I hear about you?

You. You. I don't know if you can move out here. I know you were thinking about moving out here. Is that still a thought? Yeah, I stayed out here for like two months. Yeah. And I remember I saw you like a month in and you're like, y'all, I think this might be it.

Yeah, but now I went home. I couldn't do it. But I got a son, you know? Yeah. And I couldn't work it out. The schedule the way I liked it. Because you just drowned and pussy over here. No.

I don't know what they're talking about. Well, this is what I'm curious. You say you like Chicago. the nightlife but I don't see you as like a big part of here like me if I'm wrong well it just depends where I'm at would you like anything now we have alcohol we have I don't know let's get drunk you guys want to get drunk yeah

absolutely what do you like to drink yeah we can get you some you want I don't drink but these are old is these real what do we have for him to drink damn near everything I'm damn near everything whiskey tequila rum what about beer good old fashioned beer

we can get you good old fashion beer if we don't have it Medello not for any reason Hot beer. Would you like beer? Yeah. Are you going to have a drink with me too? I don't drink. You don't drink?

I don't drink. I don't drink. I don't want to drink then. No, no, they'll drink. Are you guys going to drink? No, that was awesome when he gets drunk on the pond. It will get racist. It will get insane.

Yeah. You can try to ask you crazy questions. Yeah. You're half Puerto Rican? I don't know. Why don't you talk more, bro? I'm trying to understand your accent or not that. It's very un-Portarican.

Like, he's very stoic. You know, you get out of his pod, you become white. He's telling you, shoot or shoot. What is the Mexican perception of Puerto Ricans? Is there a internal perception? We're better people. I don't know. I never ask other Mexicans.

In my mind, I'm always just like, bro, Puerto Ricans are always making music that we dance to so much. Puerto Ricans are very talented with music and shit. Right. But then sometimes I kind of am jealous that you guys are like, technically American territory. Yeah. So it's just like,

damn, they make good music. And then I'm mad because Bad Bunny got that part and Happy Gilmore 2. It made me like not... Yeah, he was good. He was. He was good. I wasn't going to do better than that.

I auditioned for that part. Oh, did he really? Yeah. But I watched them. I was like, he did it better. Yo, you wanted to be an actor first, right? Yeah, yeah. And now you're blowing up as a comedian.

I feel like you could just be you in movies and TV. Is that a thing that happened? That's what I tell the casting directors. but they don't seem to see it. They don't see it, bro. I did a commercial for Verizon in Spanish. Oh, shit.

And it was cool. Can we pull that up? Is that online? I'll look for it. Miles will look for it. I'll see that. I'll look for it. They made me change the way I speak Spanish.

Because apparently the way I speak Spanish is like a country Spanish. It's like, I guess instead of being southern and Mexico, it's considered a northern accent. Is that more rural? Yeah. And I was going to get away with. with it though it was like one day of filming super easy and it's like voiceover it's like the so at the end of filming they just had me like record the lines into a mic and i was just like hell yeah like easy money yeah you know this is dope and then there was like different types of latinos

there's like Puerto Ricans and like Argentinians and like they were all like okay yeah everything's going good um but the lady who's like the costume design who ended up becoming like my buddy she was Mexican and she was like hey this dude talks like country Spanish damn she sold you out yeah so she was like you know like and I think somebody else too they were just like hey I don't know he talks kind of country like so then I but your accent is good or no like my accent when I speak Hindi it's clear I'm not from India I think you can you can tell I'm not from Mexico for sure like okay but I think also it stands out that like my family's from like north Mexico okay so yeah I had to go

and record. I had to fucking talk to a, what do you call it? Like a chick who knows how to... Linguistic? Linguistic type, yeah, something like that. Yeah. And she was like, oh, yeah, you talk like my dad. No, that's not it. I mean, I had to do that too, but that's not the commercial

now. Damn. You're not speaking Spanish in that one? The commercial's not there. It's just gone. Now, yeah, we're speaking Spanish in that video, though, right? Yeah, we are speaking Spanish in that video. I was like, I had to do that, too, for the thing. Oh, I can tell you. That's like deep, that's like farmers, but yeah.

Yeah, you can tell. Shut the fuck. You can hear it. For real. You can hear the way he says it. Your phone I got from Verizon takes real nice pictures. Why are you making me watch this?

We've all done some shit, dude. Don't even worry about it. I'd do it again. Yeah, you got paid for yours. I've done shit that I didn't get paid for that I hope would get me a paid gig. You were doing a lot of acting? No, I was doing whatever.

Back before we had YouTube and you could just put clips on, you didn't know what you were doing so if somebody was like hey do you want to do this web series it could be a thing i did shit that i was like this is trash every time you were doing like background dancing in bollywood right like i wish i would that would that would be fired i would that would be fire and i'll brag about that every day no uh but yeah you just you didn't know and then like your yours is like the quintessential modern blow up and stand up where you're doing comedy how long are you doing comedy before you're don't tell six months

Like first set It's like fucking six Almost seven years And then you do this Don't tell That as far as I know That's when I saw you That shit blew up

And then boom boom boom Which I think was still For like comedy Was still pretty early Oh very Right Yeah yeah yeah I don't think I was ready

To headline People were coming to see my shows And I'm just like Fuck they're doing Now my brother saw you He went to go see Usama Siddiqui Yeah

He was the one Indian guy You show Now, I feel like Indians will fuck with you. I think so, too. Especially, like, when I go to random-ass cities, like in the south or the Midwest, they get a lot of Indians coming out. Especially, like, a pothead Indian? Oh, no.

Hell yeah. They would love you. You know Usama. Yeah. Bro, he's funny. Yeah, so Usama and my brother are actually friends, weirdly. And then my, because before, I think I introduced someone, I don't know, Usama met me or whatever.

They were to school together. I know this is. So my brother watched Usama and then watched you come through, and he was like, he's very funny, but now get to your racist story. I know this is racist But I hope it is Every time I meet somebody Indian They know Usama

Yeah Yeah yeah yeah I was at the airport Yesterday A day before yesterday I flew into Austin Yeah And this dude was like

Bro, I've seen you on stage before He's like I actually know Usama And I went to watch him And then I saw you I know every Indian fan I have It's thanks to Osama Oh now you can have a couple more

Hell yeah Thanks to Osama See this is where a color comes from. Anytime you meet someone, it's like, oh, do you know this person? And just because you guys are the same race, you assume they didn't know. But a lot of times, a lot of times they'd be right. That's the problem. You know what I mean? And even if you don't know that, Osama, you know another one. All right, guys, take a break for a second. Today's sponsor is Cracken, your go-to for everything investing across crypto and stocks. We've been using Cracken since last year because

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It's not just crypto, which is cool. Mark, you know, he researches things. We don't. I just put it in Bitcoin. This guy's an ETS, which I thought was very interesting. I didn't even know that was an option, even though I read the copy every week. Yeah, yeah. There's stocks, there's crypto, then there's ETS.

The way is an ETF, exactly. It's an exchange-traded fund. Ah, now I get it. And what does that mean? So basically, like, this is the way it was explained to me. I remember I interned in like a wealth management group. Back in the day, these ETFs were like managed by wealth managers. And you could only really get in if you had like a wealth manager, really wealthy people

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but basically it's like it's like different ETFs offer different things and they'll bundle different stocks plus different like calls on different commodities and shit I'm already overwhelmed a Bitcoin but it's already done that's the beauty of it there's already a smart guy that put it all together a lot of words Bitcoin how do we know it's a smart guy I'm in because it's with the bank that you hope has a smart guy in there you know so if you do like a JP Morgan smart guys that's what we're calling him now yeah I know smart guys you know They keep reinventing themselves. Readers, right?

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Oh, shit. You got beers out of you. Mark, shotgun, one of those or do whatever the white things like. That shit is fire. Have Mexicans figured out a shotgun yet? Have Mexicans figured out of shotgun? Yeah. I have seen Mexicans shotgun pretty fast.

I can't have shotgun fast, but... Really? Yeah, but I've seen them do it at my house. What about beer bong? You guys ever do those? Do y'all do drinking games? I always associate drinking games because it's more of a white thing, but I could see Mexians getting in on it.

Yeah, I love like old white things, like 70s rock. But they don't need a game to drink. Beer, wait, I just, want on this. They don't either. Like two, three questions. Beer bong? Yeah, yeah. Like a bong for beer?

This is what you think. But it's not exactly that. It's literally just like a tube that you pour beer into. No, I've never done that. Really? Yeah. Yeah, this is like peak white boy shit. Look, neon colors.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it has to be neon. And now they got them where, like, there's all sorts of contraption. you fill it up you pull the plug it all goes down I feel like I got to do that before I turn 30 yeah yeah I'm 27 28 I'm 28 man yeah yeah that's a good element of white culture I think that we did pretty good at

yeah like the drinking games I think it was a good contribution this this beer will take down my nerves chug that shit guys let's just get what are you doing what are you doing what are you can't what the fuck is this guy I want to chug a beer it's fucking two in the morning whatever time it is oh my God It's fucking 12.30. Why is it that the sober guy's like, you guys got to chug these, by the way.

Right? And he wants you to get married. And he wants you to chug beer. It's like, it is a lot of projection. That's my point. I'm already married. What do you mean? What's my point?

If there was like shrooms or weed, I'd do it. If you got that, I'll do it. I just forgot mine. I didn't think we'd be doing this. Because I've been trying to get this guy to do a shroom pod forever. He won't do it. Bring this guy an ounce of shrooms. I would do an ounce of shrooms.

No fucking question. No fucking question. You would die. You would pass away. An ounce? An ounce is not that much. An ounce is not. Oh, I was thinking a gram.

Yeah. No, I did an eighth one time. You sound like you've never done shroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. I fucking eat an ounce for breakfast. I did a, I did an eighth one time. That was crazy.

Cheers, this motherfucker bit. I'm going to sip. I just don't want to chug. Don't sip, you fucking homo, dude. Just drink the fucking beer. I'm not chugging. I'm not going to shock on a beer. Yeah, which is insane.

I'm not going to have you figured it out yet. I mean, all right, now you're doing it. of that. It's cool. I missed you guys. Hey, dude. I know. We missed you.

Yeah. Dallas, Texas, born and raised, superstar. Yeah. Why are you guys lying to each other right now? What? I'm from Dallas.

No, we have to lie, bro. And you didn't miss it. I did. I miss those eyes, bro. I miss this guy. Every podcast I've done.

One sip of beer and starts just ruining the pot. I actually like that. All right, bro. You're sitting, though. Back to quiet time. No, I miss this guy, dude. Every podcast I've been on since this one,

I've just comparing their eyes to your eyes. Nothing measures ever, right? I know, dude. I know, I get it. What's your wife's name? I'm jealous that she gets to look into those eyes every morning. Just lean. Justine?

Yeah. Dude, that's a pretty name. Hey, thanks, dude. What's your future wife's name? I don't know. It's probably going to end up being. That's crazy. I share information and you don't share it back.

That's fucked up. Y'all, I thought we're bonding just now. I mean, we are, but you got to give me time, baby. He needs three more Mandela's. Hand in the pod. I need this girl's name. We can bleep it if you want. Can we just say her name is bleep?

And then just bleep that? That's funny. I like that. I like that, dude. I hate it. That's far. All right. Maybe we'll tell us.

Maybe we'll tell us. Maybe we'll tell us. Yeah. I like the situation I'm in. Yeah, dude. Because, like, we get a little. long me and this girl. Yeah.

And I don't know if it'll ever happen, but I like that I at least got to, like, talk to her for a while. You have one of those? That's romantic. Isn't that true? I'm a romantic. That's true love. So has anything physical happened at all?

No. No. Nothing physical. I don't know. You got a little tell when you lie. What do you mean? You wipe your nose when you lie. Nah, I just, I'm a cokehead. I'm not, by the way.

I don't know. I got to be careful. I don't know when to joke or not droke, because people in the comments will be like, you know he's not plain about that. Yeah, you were saying that on, I was listening to your club Shay-Shay, and you were saying you get a little bit of, like, comments

about, like, you're the Mexican people being upset that you're X, Y, Z. And to me, from the outs from macroscopic, it feels like it's so much love for you, which is great. No, there's a lot of love, yeah. Yeah. I've been trying not to read them in general. Because, like, good ones and bad, good comments and bad comments, or I feel like are bad for you.

Yeah, neither one of them is, the truth is, yeah, not a lot of them. real sound like how is the good comments bet because if you start to believe them too much yeah i feel like you can uh fuck up your own like uh what do you call it like your perception of yourself and like your work i think additionally i think if you believe the good comments you kind of have to believe the bad that's the thing you like y'all don't you all don't tell me good or bad if i'm good that's ideally i try not to even look because you will when you get a good one you want to keep reading and then you see one bad one you're like maybe the next one'll be good and if it's also bad you're

you know what I mean you start spiraling but like ideally y'all don't decide whether I'm good or bad that's not up to you I decide that I keep going I keep doing my thing I keep doing what I want to do I don't feel like I decided for me though I feel like it's just up to the audience that night that I perform in front of I care about their no I know I used to freak the fuck out whenever they didn't laugh any joke I would start talking faster I would whatever and I realize this because I didn't think I was good enough or funny enough so if they didn't laugh I would be like oh shit they're finding out I'm a phony and then I would but then that makes you you got a great comfort on stage I didn't have that for a long time oh I I I feel like I got

comfortable once I started headlining because I was so uncomfortable still but like I was I don't tell you don't tell you're what let's say you're filming that how was the taping of that that was laid back they really relaxed us right before okay because you seem super calm I remember being like this is okay no I know you get those That's why it's called Don't Tell. Yeah, he gets those on his own. They really made us feel relaxed. Now, just know that if you marry this girl, those don't really happen.

I got you. You got to get engaged but not married. Yeah, that's the move, sweet school. Dang. Yeah. That's what he is. That's what you're doing? I like you've been engaged.

About two years now. His girl is from Spain. Yeah, yeah. Ask you from Spain, boom. How you meet her? In Spain? No, she moved here for work. Oh, nice.

What does she do if you don't mind me? Yeah, she did. I don't know how I think about that one You're doing the work, dude You need to record a podcast This is the guy If you're doing your own podcast There's a Roth Barbosa podcast

That's your man's I was on a podcast I was co-hosting The Fat Fish podcast With my friend Hyman But I love Hyman I'm dope

He's like my funniest I think he's the funniest dude Ever But I grew up with him So my very biased opinion You know Yeah Yeah

But yeah We started a podcast together but I stopped showing up to record because it's a lot doing a podcast is a lot I didn't know how much

of a commitment it is I have commitment issues yeah so yeah evidently also I'll tell this girl Jaime goes to LA every week

to tape for a tiger belly he's Bobby Lee's co-host so while he's out there he can reach out to more potential guests yeah and record while he's

out there. Yeah. So I was like, you should just record Fat Fish out there with like other people because we were taping out of Dallas so it was kind of hard to like

catch people while they were in town especially on tour. So yeah, loves to you guys for like running a podcast. Thanks, dude. How do I get hooked up with Bobby? I took him with me when I did Bobby's podcast

because me and Jaime were always Bobby Lee fans. But Jaime was definitely a bigger Bobby Lee fan than I was. Bobby Lee's so funny. He's such a terrible person but he's like truly the biggest piece of I know, but he's so funny.

I hate him, but he's so funny. My first time going to the comedy store, I walked into the main room just to peek. I forgot who I was waiting for. I was going to do, like, a spot in the belly room. I think it was for, like, Netflix as a jokes, like New Faces auditioned the thing. And I went downstairs, and I just peeked in a random door,

and it was for the main room. And Bobby was on stage. And as soon as I peaked in the room, I thought he almost, I thought he pointed at me, but he pointed at somebody. And he was like, you, he's like, because of something, something, he's like, now you get the pews and he's like, just pulled his pants down.

He tried to show me his dick the whole podcast. I wouldn't, I didn't see it. I dodged it. And then I texted him because the guy had just fucking sobered up. I said, hey, man, I'll check in on him every week. Hey, man, I hope you're doing okay. Just want to let you know, I love you, blah, blah, blah. My man would send me his dick first time I checked in on it.

Couldn't believe it. And? That's hilarious. I was. Asian. You can feel in the rest of it. You can figure out what the rest of it means. Yeah, yeah.

But anyway, so you, okay, so you, I want to. I'm going to ask you. You're doing it. Don't tell. They relaxed you beforehand. Oh, yeah. They told us. They were like, hey, go out there, do whatever you want. So you're 10 minutes. If you want to do new material the whole time, do new material. Yeah. If you only like a few minutes of it and you hate like eight minutes of it, we'll just upload what you like. Like, just go out there and have a good time. Yeah.

So I wrote a bunch of jokes on the bus ride over there. And I was just like, fuck it. I'm going to just do those jokes. Bus right from where to where? from uh i took a greyhound from l.A. to uh san diego oh okay so you those are all new jokes you never done those no no no i did like uh maybe 60% new jokes wow and which of the jokes that blew up which ones were new uh like the first six-ish minutes wow yeah but i was kind of like obviously i'm happy that it worked out you know what i mean but i was also mad because um i like touched the jokes up Yeah, they get better.

Yeah. Every joke. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So I had like a good month and a half of doing like the better version of those jokes. And like I remember I got an applause break in Austin. Yeah, I was just like a bittersweet moment because I was like, this is it.

Like this is the last time. It's ready and you can't do it anymore. But then what are you thinking as is blowing up? We probably ask you this, but like I'm always curious of thought process of people who blow up quickly. What does that feel like as it's all happening? It feels cool. Money is cool. That's awesome.

Yeah, how does it feel for you? It didn't happen quickly for me. That's why I'm curious. It was a long road. So, like, flagrant happened when I was doing comedy for, like, 10 years at that point or whatever, started. We didn't make any money the first year. I'm going broke. Then we started Patreon.

I'm like, okay, I'm making a living. Then COVID, things start picking up. Then my stand-up really just started picking up in the last, like, two years in terms of people seeing it. Which is cool, because I felt like I got to grow for that time kind of like without people knowing. Here in Akash is, like, in the mud stories, or some of the most, those harrowing things. They're in your life. I mean. They're horrendous.

Yeah. What'd you have to do? Oh, dude. If this podcast, if I was a guest on the podcast that you didn't have the commitment for, I would tell you all the stories. On fatfish? You want to come on fat fish? I would come on fat fish.

Yeah. We'll work it out. Next time, I'm in L.A. You, me, Jaime, beat the shit out of Bobby Lee. And then we go do fat fish. Even Bobby just need a fight. We need to do a pay-per-view. Or fuck.

Or either one. Either one. I can't betray Bobby, so I won't condone. No, I condone it. You should fight him and fuck him. Now, he wrestled in high school. I'm worried. I think I need help.

You think he can still wrestle now? I don't know. The guy, I don't know he looks young. The guy's like 80. Bobby leaves as angry as everybody thinks I am. Everybody thinks I'm really. You do have like resting bitch face. Like you look like you just got done complaining at a restaurant.

He loves complaining at restaurants. You bought a got it with that one. You nailed that. I do. You know what? I love complaining after I leave the restaurant. I try not to cause a kerfuffle in there too often. I've done it once or twice

maybe. Is it a kerfuffle? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You go off at restaurants for sure. Yeah, yeah, I'd be kerfifling, dude. Every once in a while. What do you kind of food do you like? You know what? I've realized I don't like, we come from Texas. Everybody's good manners. If you're rude, I don't

fucking handle it well. I don't handle it. Yeah, I don't really like that either. That shit'd be setting me off. You know, one time One time I went off on an old dude I feel really bad And I gave him a good tip But he was being a fucking piece of shit, bro

Like, what was he doing? I hadn't eaten in like 24 hours That's his fault Very much his fault Yeah We had been, we were in L.A. And it was like, it was like the shows Where Hulu was like

Watching to see if they'd want to give me money or not Yeah, yeah, high pressure So like in between shows A lot of industry would like go and talk to you which i don't like i get nervous to that it's like a bunch of mushrooms and uh how much like an ounce uh nah two ounces we we made maybe like two three grams okay and uh i was tripping this is some good shit i'm not going to allow i was tripping pretty hard uh i stayed up didn't sleep at all the next morning i did big boys neighborhood

and then right after big boy's neighborhood because I don't live in LA while I was in LA my agent and my manager wanted to have like a meeting yeah yeah yeah we do this meeting so it's like fucking 3 p.m. the next day it was like 24 hours since my last meal

was like fucking starving I got a headache hung over and I go sit down at this restaurant and they sat me like I didn't I didn't just sit down at a random table they sat me there

fucking sit down and I know what I want I want the albonigas the meatballs and like the little soup There's a little stew, right? Last syllables, rough, but go ahead. So I sit down and the waiter comes and I tell them in Spanish, I said, I want a diet Coke and so my won't digas, please.

And he says, I don't know how big of a party you have coming here, but I need this table by five o'clock. And so I'm like, all right, all right, maybe. I'm up. I'm already ready. I'm getting ready. So I take a second, though, because I'm like, oh, shit. maybe I'm an asshole for sitting here

maybe there was like a mistake that they sat me here what time is it is it almost five you know so I check my phone it's 344 I will never forget the time because as soon as I saw the time I'm like this fucking piece of shit yeah so I never yelled at a waiter or anybody customer service

ever in my life and I just fucking yelled at them in Spanish I told them I don't give a fuck who's coming here at 5 o'clock I'm here now the faster you give me the food the faster I get the fuck out you know never done that before and I thought he was gonna punch me right after I was done saying it I was like ah I fucked up this dude's about a beat my ass but now he just said okay and I'm assuming he went and spit in my soup absolutely right he definitely but I was so hungry I didn't even care anymore

I was like fuck it do you think it's because he could tell you were kind of like from the farm country you said it in a way that was like rednecky yeah yeah he probably did He thinks I'm like some Mexican fucking redneck. I had a whole 360 degree conflict within 30 seconds at the Kansas City airport last Friday. Kansas City. I'm getting off the flight. You're brave going off in Kansas City.

I just want to buy, well, she was Latina. I just want to buy water. All right, yeah. Fuck, yeah. She can't be here that much longer anyway. But now I just want to buy water. I go. It's, you know, sometimes like the food place has the water,

little water on the side. So I grab a bottle of water. There's a Latino piece of shape. I'm talking to my friend loudly. We're just having a conversation. She got her back fully turned and she's on the TV screen. And I'm standing there like 10 seconds. And I go, yo, can I get a water?

And then she turns around, doesn't say a word, rings up the water, and then doesn't say thank you, doesn't say okay. And then I go, just hi. That's all you got to do. Just say hi. And then I start walking off and she goes, I'm sorry. My English isn't too good. She tried to guilt me this bitch.

And I go, sounded a pretty good day. And then she just goes, hey, yeah, you're right. So we had a fool. We didn't know each other. Then we became enemies. And then we were kind of homies by the end of it. I don't know. I don't think you guys ended up homies.

Son, she said, yeah, you're right. I was like, oh, yeah, she knows. You got me. Yeah, she got me. For her, at least you, like, acknowledged this. Yeah, yeah. Just say hi. Hello, that's it.

What's so wrong with that? I guess so. Why do you need the high, though? Yeah. Because we grew up in the South, The same reason. That guy didn't say anything that crazy to you. I don't need the high, though.

If he had said, hey, man, this is a lack of manners. If he had been like, hey, man, just so you know, I got a big party coming at five, you think he'd be out by then, it'd be fine, right? Yeah, if he would have told me more polite. It's manners. Be polite. The thing is, it was Mexican on Mexican crime. That's what this was.

Mexican on look like Mexican crime. No, you don't look Mexican. Oh, you sure? I don't think you look Mexican. You know, when I was younger, I was like lighter. I had tanned up as I got older. And everybody thought I was Mexican in Texas. In Dallas.

my middle school principal I swear to you saw me multiple times and we'll just go hold on mego I get that sometimes when people like sometimes Mexicans think they're like Eres Arabi? Yeah yeah I can see that Do you mind if I fact check this real quick? Yeah. Because I recently saw an image of you

That's me at 18 young Do you think this is like a little no sabo here? You look Puerto Rican bro I told you yo They don't know the difference white folks Keep that back immediately this is unbelievable son i get i i'm uglier this is me and less ugly than i was my next year i was 18 huh i was 18 have you seen my middle school pictures how about i've posted is it can you send

that to me doing like the ditty lips like the son this is this is like we were just laughing at this mouth breathing in you we were just laughing at this uh my my best friend and i will laugh at this all the time what i used to look like and my brother used to tell me i looked rich i looked gay when i smiled or something, so I wouldn't smile and now I just look retarded. Yeah, I mean, it just looks a little bit like shark tails. You ever see that? Ah, you look good, bro. How do you have an afro, though? Like, your hair

changed. Yo, black movies, you love my hair, dude. They'd always be like, let me braid that shit. But your shit don't fuck. Is it not a shark tail? How about that? How about that guy? Oh, man. That's rough. That guy's sex. Miles, I'm going to text you this. I think you guys have seen this picture. You had to have.

Some, my sixth grade hero picture, I swear to God, I look like I could potentially have like, you know, some kind of developmental thing, but I looked fully retarded my sixth grade picture. No, no, I look like I could be. Sixth grade, fully retarded. This is, it's worse than this. This is eighth grade, I think. That's a picture that's a, that's so bad your parents would like hate you for it. Son, I look like hate you guys from Goody's.

I never saw him. Looking at this picture, do you get your dad's point a little? If I was your dad, I would hate you for that picture. No, my dad never hit me. That's probably why I look like that. I didn't get hit. My brother got hit. You needed to get hit after that one. You know, Donald went, hey you guys.

Bro. God, man. I mean, the head tilt? You level up, bro. So did you think you smiled gay even at this age? I knew it looked bad, but I didn't know how to, I didn't know I could just smile. My brother got me so in my head about it. That is an awful thing to put in someone's head. It's fucked, dude. Hey, hey, your smile, like, when you're, like, being agreeable and charming,

everyone hates that. Yeah, but he said gay. And back then, that was like, the war shit. It was like Nazi. You were like, no, no, no. You smile like a Nazi, bro. Yeah, that's funny. I think about someone telling a kid that.

He's not going to smile. I mean, nowadays, maybe. How old are we? What year were you in the sixth grade? Sixth grade is worse. That was, I can't find that picture. This is eighth grade. I was 14.

You were 14? Yeah. And what year is that? 1998. I'm born 84. Oh, shit. Oh, I thought maybe we'd run into each other somewhere. along the way but no never you're too young dude yeah i was like too unless you were

unto weird shit i don't know so you've been mexican black and indian which one is your favorite of all the races that you've been i like indian but that's because i have the most money isn't it actually really tracts socioeconomically like when i looked black i was brook i had nothing but you were flexing a little bit and then when you were mexican you were just you know you were just here happy to be here happy to be here happy to be here ready to eat in the backyard somewhere. Don't have a party. Food taste better in the backyard. It's been scientifically

proven. I believe that. You know, Indians say food tastes better with your hands because we eat with our hands. Oh, yeah. They say scientifically proven. If you don't taste on plastic, it doesn't contaminate the flavor. That's what I'm saying. White folks, y'all will worry about plastics. Now, knees together, paper plate, that's the best meal. That's just slaps. When you're just like that, try not to drop it? That's the ideal meal.

You enjoy it most. And now, bro, you're going to the Hamptons. You're going to be fully white. I've done it all. You're really going through the whole thing. If you go to the Hamptons, do you think people will assume you're in medical field? Like if they don't know You know what? My favorite thing about the Hamptons, nobody talks to me. It's been great. I really

love that. I want to go to the Hamptons. It's fire. I didn't think I'd like it. I didn't do all the shit that I didn't go. I just liked being a What's Hampton shit? Like they go out. You guys did more than I did probably. You got been there a couple times. They go out, they party, they do whatever. They're on yachts. I didn't get on a fucking boat. You never been on a boat? I've been on a boat.

Yeah? I didn't love it. Little boat? Big boat. He don't really like hose, so. Yeah, yeah, I'm not for the hoes. Nah, I'm a one-hoe human. Why do you do that to your wife? Hey, I love that bitch more than anything on her. She knows.

She knows what it is. I respect that. Yeah, I'm like, I'm very in love. So I get away with a little, like, saying bitch and whatever the fuck. That's cool. That means your wife has a lot of trust in you, too, if you get to say this stuff, you know? Because I'm so gay, I don't think. So she's like, she didn't even worry about him.

You've also been gay. You've done all the races. Yeah. I've done it all. Al's gay now Yeah A boat really is everything you hate

I'm thinking about it Like you like to be in your home I love it And a boat is the exact opposite You're not even on the earth Yeah And on top of that You're stuck

Yeah And people are drinking And listen to loud music Ayah yay yay And You don't like loud music Bro? I like it

In small doses I'm old man dude You just put the like Full Blast for like 30 seconds Yeah exactly Yeah I went on a boat

actually in Miami small boat small boat small boat it was fun it was just like me and a few homies that's it and then wifie and that's it and we did shrimps oh nice a gram a gram as i thought i did yeah yeah yeah it was great yeah that was fire yeah i guess i've always heard mushrooms with water is a good pairing true like mushrooms and like being at the beach looking at the ocean yeah people have said that too in Hawaii that shit yeah people have said that i got to try that haven't done mushrooms in a while because the last few trips where i did them i started hearing voices but I don't know if it was maybe I was just like exhausted like I needed sleep already because it was like

Take a break from that shit I think take a break from everything What kind of voices it depends A couple times whispers Asian accent couple times yelling Yeah I kept hearing Bobby Lee I would keep doing mushrooms bro

If I just had a full feed which is Asian accent What time I ate like a shit though Like man like it had to be like eight grams maybe And I kept blacking out and then I would hear voices so clear that I was like yelling at them but it was just like me like other versions of me I felt like I was arguing with like three versions of myself what were they saying whoa um one of them was saying like call 9-1-1

and the other one was like shut the fuck up like don't like don't be a little bitch and then I was just like fuck like I'm just on drugs like I just time time will save me like time this feels like a very calm argument if it's three versions of you I feel like it's just you like yo but it was just like call 911 one it's like it's like time and they're like call 911 one it's like and then uh I would dial like 9-1

and then I would hang up the phone and be like now don't do it holy shit you ever done so many mushrooms that like your body goes paralyzed nope I've had that like maybe three times where like I'm talking and then as I'm talking I hear my voice turn into like slow motion

so it'll be like oh like it's like a record Like, you're like, oh, slow, whoa, whoa, and I'm like, what the fuck? And I was holding my phone, and then all of a sudden, it just dropped it, and then I just, like, fell to the ground. And then a couple times when I happened. Wait, but after the first time, that happened, that doesn't stop you from, hey, let me not do that much again. Nah, I was just laughing. But one time that it happened, like, I did that, and then I blacked out, and then I woke up, and then I ran around the hotel for a while, and then I blacked out again. It was bad.

It was just a lot of bad shit. Damn. That wasn't even my last time doing them. The next week, I was like, I could get it right this time. The next week is crazy. That's the problem when you're into drugs but also competitive. You know what I mean? That's a bad combo.

Because you don't want to like, it's like an ego thing. Like, I don't want to just take the loss. I want to be like, no, I'm good on it. That's how you know you need more mushrooms to get the ego death. Because you're just getting enough mushrooms that your ego still intact. You need to do 12 grams. People say ego death, but I feel like mushrooms like did the opposite of whatever. everybody says it does which i love by the way maybe it was like a cure for me but like i feel like

mushrooms got me out of my feelings it got me stimulated i was having a good time you are cokehead i think i think that's what happened i feel like after mushrooms it's always been easier to like submerge all my feelings to like just just shove them in a box shove them in a fucking box mushrooms help me lock that shit up yeah that's not you think you're gonna come back from therapy and be like bro I am so much angry I am I signed up for a therapy session one time and I got in the car and I was like fuck am I doing and I just I just didn't even like call to cancel

or nothing I just went back inside bro this isn't a podcast you can't just now show up you know what I mean this is a fatfish that's crazy the therapist lady that I ended up messaging her later to be like hey I'm sorry I didn't show up and you know charge me already got charged me and this was like a year ago And she messaged me like three days ago.

She's like, Vera need help. I'm still here. She's seen some podcasts. You heard about this boat. She was like, yeah, yeah, let's talk. Here's the thing that everybody says about therapy, though, is that it's not like this cure thing.

It's more like kind of like medicine where like you kind of, you let it out and then they talk to you and help you feel better. But it's not like this instant like, oh, you're good after a session. Like a dentist. You go get kind of tuned up and cleaned up. My cousin's psychiatrist, who said, you get out of it, what you put into it. Like, you can't just go and bitch about everybody and then leave and not think about it. You've got to, like, think things through when you're outside of therapy and, like, just really keep it on your mind and then you'll start to work through all this shit.

Angie and you're a good therapist. My therapist, I went one time, and this motherfucker was annoying. I sat down and he was like, by the way, I'm going to need this couch back by 5 o'clock. I was like, this motherfucker. What the fuck? I just, I sat down one minute ago. I just feel like alcohol is good enough. Yeah, let's go

And it's like therapy too You know You feel better for a little bit And then next week You come back to Taco Again and you work it out That's real That's real

I love Southerners bro This shit is fine This is awesome Is this immigrant shit I went to therapy My mom was like Don't tell anybody She was like

You don't need it You're not crazy She was She was embarrassed You're around a fake doctor That's what it was I don't want you talking I think it also has to do

With like just childhood with like crazy shit what happened as a kid and then like my mom or like my grandma or whoever it happened in front of my dad or whatever they'd just be like hey don't tell anybody like yeah that such and such hit you

or nothing like just get over it yeah yeah I'd be like all right yeah my mom wouldn't say get over but she would say they could use it against you and I was like what you're not the fucking soap opera here I like that this is not succession everything is just like a big I'm 13 years old big drama

yeah oh big drama big drama big drama but yeah But you saw a lot of crazy shit when you were growing up, right? Your family in the cartel, we talked about that last time. Yeah, I mean, I saw some crazy shit. It's just the, the shit that they would really not want me to talk about was just like, like, if my cousin kicked my ass, it'd be like, don't go telling everybody, all right? Then they're going to think we're dysfunctional.

And I was like, we are. I'm getting my ass kicked over here. Like, Angie caught an L, you don't want that on your record. You know what I mean? You're 0 and 3 against your cousin? Nah, I'll tell them. I'll tell everybody. I was a big old, I'll tell everybody.

Yeah, but you said on Sheeshay that you were fighting people much bigger than you. And you can, now that you box, you like legit box, right? No, I did that for a little bit, but, no, I didn't, I didn't really, like, stick to it too off. But you said when you fought people your size, you fuck them up. Yeah, I got a lot of ass-wopens from bigger people, but it made me better. So, yeah, I fought a dude. He said they had a thing. The in between, where did you go, Mesquite High School or he's Missed?

No, no, no, so this was in middle school. This was advanced in middle school. Three minutes between classes. Him and his boys would have fight club for two. minutes of the three. Then you get, so two minutes, they just run? You just punt in the fuck out of each other?

Yeah, we'd just run into the restroom and then just be like, uh, who? Like you and you, all right, fuck it, let's go. And then you just fight.

One time somebody brought. And then you get one minute to get back to class. That's fine. We try to do like, hey, don't hit in the face, you know,

but then you like slip up. One time somebody brought a UFC gloves. And, uh, but they just had one pair. So like one person had like a hand each. Yeah, yeah. That's nice.

But somebody had to be left. you know yeah yeah that shit was fun I don't know fighting is fun I think like as an adult you know you got to be more careful because not you got like growing mass strength but I think as an adult every adult needs to get punched at least like twice a year that's a little too much

okay maybe once a year but in a place you know you literally die well yeah maybe not like a fucking you don't need like Mike Tyson to punch you but somebody with like equalish strength needs to just remind you what that feels like can you punch back in this scenario yeah I think

Like, we don't got to do a whole purge. I think the world would be a better place. If at least once a year you go in for like a checkup and it's you and one other guy and you just, I get one punch on you and you get one punch on me. It's like taxes. Like every year, you just have to do it. Yeah. And you show up.

Chin, got to be chin. You got to remember what it's like to just fucking take one to the face. And it probably also feel good to just punch somebody. That way, when somebody walks into the store you work at, you're not ignoring them when they're asking you for water because you're like, this guy might punch me. I better fucking treat them. Exactly. Pretend you don't speak English,

try to white guilt them. I ain't got no white guilt, lady. That ain't me. I couldn't believe you tried that shit. Oh, I'm sorry, my English is not so good. I almost spun again, but I was afraid you did let me. No, I noticed it. You've been doing it.

You haven't stopped. I haven't stopped. I think he's on the boat again. I cut back. I cut back, bro. No, no. It's been going. Have a dream.

You'll relax. I'm so glad I've never been in a fight. I'm not. never like i've been involved in fights but i've never been in a fight no one's ever been like now we're fighting i used i used to think that it was like a flex to be like yeah i've been in fights that's a bigger flex though so i've never been in a fight i get me this guy just always kind of like a pussy but i've always like diffused people have wanted to fight me and then i'd be like yeah what is the point of people he's he's very no he takes advantage of people

what are you talking no in new york this guy's a fucking sociopath remember the time he was waiting for this fucking locksmas for like six hours or some shit like that and the guy made him pay or some shit like that oh yeah like yeah like he'll get fucked over like that but like with his friends he like he uses the fuck out of miles and miles just doesn't say anything about oh yeah he manipulates a shit he has no experience we've both we've both never been in fights so sort of well so it's a good match yeah we could be we gotta put on we gotta put on this mark versus miles fight that could be beautiful i would actually love that for patreon that could be beautiful we got 12 weeks and headgear in a boxing ring we would absolutely w-dovee it

and the whole thing would be scripted yeah we'd just do the fucking moves it'd be like luchador's No, you got to fight. Yeah, yeah. Fight for real. Do the gear. Just do the gear. Head gear. But like, don't do gloves.

Let's just talk about it. You know what I mean? Like, what, like, you don't think we could just settle this? Like, I feel like this is just a big miscommunication. You know what I mean? Anytime someone's trying to fight me, it's just like, hey, let's just, you know. You're going to murder somebody one day. All right, guys, we can take a break for a second.

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We get it, bro. Second time you said it. Every time he brought up somebody that I didn't know I could see in his face, he's just like, what the fuck? Wait, like, who, though? I don't know. He brought up, like, well, I was. I was reading this book that he had in, like, the lobby of, like, his studio.

And, and I know I'm going to get shit for this, but I didn't know who Hunter S. Thompson was. And I was reading a Hunter S. Thompson book, and I fucking loved it. Yeah. And I was just like. That's honestly kind of your life right now. Yeah. Just traveling and doing crazy drugs. Yeah.

Fearing and loathing. Fear and loathing. Yeah. I was like, hey, man, is Hunter is Thompson a dude or a chick? And he was just like, he was just like, uh, I mean, that's not a bad question. The question is kind of bad. Here's the thing. Not knowing isn't bad.

Joe is from Boston. Boston we see is like the whitest place. I've had a feeling Ralph grew up super Mexican, super Latino, Hispanic, whatever. They're just not, they're not going to know about Hunter S. Thompson. Yeah. He's probably not going to know about some Mexican shit. But it's just funny watching. I guarantee you there'd be people Joe didn't know.

that Ralph would be like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. Be like, you don't know Eugenio de Vez? You don't know Chente? Yeah, but to be fair, I mean, I don't have any books of Chente. But yeah, and then there was other people that would be like, what's going on there? And he'd be like, huh? Like, you don't know.

But it was cool. I just feel kind of bad that, like, so many people go on these podcasts and they share all this knowledge they have. And I kind of just go on these podcasts and, like, gather the knowledge. If you listen to like these podcasts that I'm on, a lot of the time I'm just gathering information. What do you've learned so far? What did you learn from Shannon? From Shannon?

Stay away from white women. Yeah. Be careful with that, you know? Let your team gather all the information, you know? I think that worked. I feel like all his team gathered information on me. Oh, for his episode, yeah, yeah. How much you think he actually knew about you?

Oh, that I'm Mexican. I mean, that's a start. You know what I mean? Yeah. Do you think he knew who you were? Because I feel like he interviews people and he doesn't know. Yeah, I think he's saying. I don't think he knew, but I think he's like a good interviewer because he made me feel

like comfortable and stuff. You're so friendly. Yeah. That's what it seems like. Very affable guy. Yeah, yeah. He was very friendly. He was very friendly like before we started the interview.

So I was just like, all right, feel comfortable with him. Yeah. But I get nervous too because, like, people who are really good at interviewing, that's like a specialty of theirs. they get you comfortable and then like boom next thing you know you're saying the name of the woman you love yeah damn yeah got to stand my toes that's that's so if you want to validate me as a good interviewer you'll let that name out you're pretty good interviewer but nah you know sham yeah you know if you had said her name on club shayshay or their name i'm sorry you had said that

human being the name on club shay that would have been nobody's like asked me about my love life like that. I mean, I think on Club Shaysay, he asked me like a little bit about days or something. That's a sensitive subject for him right now. But for me, I'm fascinated by it. I love knowing, especially with comics. He asked about that. He said, you know, it's hard to

find love because, you know, you're traveling so much. I always find it interesting when comics date other comics. I feel like they're comics with like they're either like really good mental health or really poor mental health. Yeah. No in between.

And I'm going to be honest, the first group that you mentioned, not many of those. Very few. Very, very few. Yeah. I'm not one of them. You're married a comic? No, no, no. I want to marry somebody.

I don't know if I want to get married, but I want to be with somebody who's, like, very different of me. Yeah. I feel like it's way more interesting like that. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want her to not like comedy at all. Hey, that will happen. Don't worry.

Don't worry. I remember my first started dating my wife. I was asking, like, you want to come to shows, and I was like, you're going to get, too, Kevin wanted to come. I was like, you're going to get tired of this. And she was like, no, I can never happen. And then, like, eight years later, I asked her, I said, hey, do you want to come to this show?

And she goes, literally, I would rather do anything else. That's cool when somebody can be honest with you about that show. That's not my girl was from the jump. I used to drag her to open mics. I don't know. Just got that whole fight, all right? Doesn't mean I won't fight a woman. That's a stupid joke.

I'm sorry, that's a dumb story. She was sitting on that for an hour. He's about to sit on something else. This guy's gay. But I would drag it to open mic and she'd be like, I don't like this. And I was like, yeah, well, we get to hang out. You know what I mean? You can like hang, then I'll do the spot.

Then it's cool. And she goes, I don't want, I would rather not see you. Oh, shit. She was like, I'd rather stay at the house and then you just see me whenever you're done. She's right. She was right about that. And even to this day, I will just talk to her about anything. And it's so hard to even get into the combo.

Because she's like, you know, what's going on? I'm like, well, there's this crazy thing happening with. this current event and we're trying to figure it out and she's like and who is that guy? Like straight up. She was just like, who is Netanyahu? And I was like, what's funny you ask? And then like, she doesn't know anything. So I just like break down shit. And she's like, that's crazy. That's great. My show is exactly like that. It's remarkable. Yeah. She has no idea what the fuck is going on. That's awesome. And she's so happy. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Like every guest, she's like, what do they do? I'm disappointed in myself that I relate more to y'all's girlfriends. I also don't know what's

going on half the time. Good, dude. Yeah, you'd make a good girlfriend. I think I would make a good girlfriend. If I would go to prison, I'll be all right. Damn. That scares me, bro. I went to a prison recently.

For what? Just to go check it out. What do you mean? What do you do for fun, though? Honestly, this kind of shit. Prison tours? Yeah. You're just like emailing.

Can you tell you the real? He went with jelly roll. You know, jelly roll? Oh, yeah, I know jelly roll. Yeah. So I was with jelly roll in Portland. he was like, oh, I'm going to do a concert for the inmates. Jellyroll is like a real, he's, and he's...

Because he was in prison for some time. He's a fucking great guy, dude. He'll go perform at prisons because he was incarcerated. I didn't know he'd perform at prisons. I've met him once. He don't talk about it. He will never talk about that publicly. He'll just do it.

That's the kind of guy. He doesn't get paid for it. He just goes. And like, you would think like, oh, well, this is like a thing the prisons do. When he went to the prison, no one had ever performed any type of live act there since, like, 194. Well, Stevie Ray Vaughn went to this prison. And he was the next person that went.

He loves TV Rayvon. He was the last one to do it, like, 25 years ago. And so Jelly World went, and then he went back, like, two years later. And that's when I was there. And he was like, yo, you want to go. What kind of prison is this, though? This is a max. So, like, people in there for life.

Oh, shit. Crazy. Yeah. Like murders and shit. Say again? Like a lot of murders and shit? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And great group of guys. You were going to do comedy, right? No, like, Jley Roll wanted me to. He was like, yo, will you open the show, do five minutes? Did you? I was stressing. And he was like, yeah, just coming. And I was like, I'd rather just go check it out.

He's like, no, no, no, go. That's a thousand percent of what I would do. I was like, I don't know. Well, you got to do it just to fucking... Just for the reps? Bro, just to try it out. Just the workshops and stuff? Once the last time these guys had somebody, like...

Bomb in front of them? No, but when's the last time somebody could just be vulnerable in a prison? That's true? They need that shit. I think, I don't know. I don't know what I could say. I'm going through my jokes. I'm like, I was going to do crowd work.

I'm like, what do you do? What did you used to do? What do you want to do? What did you do to get in here? Well, he had some fun with that. You would have got punch in the face for the first time. Yeah, probably. Yeah.

I was stressing. I was like, okay, opening joke, I might just be like, hey, guys, want you to know, I'm not going to pander to any motherfuckers. Jeff Ross, didn't he go and, like, fucking roast prisoners one time? Yeah, I think so. They fucking loved it. Yeah. He's alive, you know? But I was so stressed, but then the second we got there, apparently, like, the prisons run by a union and the union boss of the prison or something.

I don't know how the hierarchy is, but they were like, yeah, we can't do anything, like, off script. So, like, just stick to the fucking music. so they were like music on me. Guys, you see the lights, you already know what time it is, okay? Blue Chew. Same act of ingredients inside Seattle or Viagra. This is the chew, okay? This is the one you always want to have on deck.

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money. I'm on Facebook marketplace all the time. Well, you like to buy it fucking clappers and shitholes and whatever I want. But I, I, son, the second you talked to him, he checked his cell phone. You know how rude that is? I'm sorry. I just keep blowing it. Bro, my phone is blowing up. Whoa. I got I got a couple images here. I want to know what you would pick and why in the situation. Catfish Camaro. Catfish Camero kicks ass. Why is that called a catfish Camaro?

Because the front looks like a catfish. Yeah. Okay. The front of it. But why the Camaro? Is it something you just like Chevy? I like Chevy a little more than Ford most of the time. Why do all Mexicans like Chevy?

That's a question I need to know. I don't know, bro. You know, he pulled this up with that exact question in mind. Why do Mexicans like Chevy? This was a citizenship test. They're actually both Mustings, but I see the Camaro. Why is that? I don't know.

Every Mexican I wanted a Silverado. I know a lot of Mexicans who like Forge. Really? Yeah. I feel like I was Silverado's all the time. I think the best truck you could buy right now is an F-150 from, like, 90s F-150s are like fucking beautiful. don't get me wrong but like the best performing truck you could get is from 20 he's like

2018 to now that single cab f 150 50 oh yeah i mean single cabs are dead 5 o's about to be dead so makes a lot of sense those trucks are like the fastest trucks out there right now yeah they're fire they call them mexican gtr's that's very funny i don't know about like every state but like in a lot of or you see it a lot in texas they fucking tune those and they're just twin a twin turbo single cab F-150 with a 5-0 It's like Real-wheel drive they rip They're all-wheel drive

Oh really? Yeah so like against other trucks Like they're undefeated Can you explain slab riding Why do people like slabs? I don't know I guess it's more like a Houston thing Than like Texas thing

I guess they're just Loud music It looks nice But they do it to cars That look good But it usually slow So I don't I think they just stuck to like

Well let's just keep it slow then you know Or it's a style to You focus at Houston more Dallas more. I mean, I'm from Dallas, man. Dallas is fun. Houston is fun. Houston sells my shows out quicker than Dallas. I have the same. You too? Same.

That's crazy. That's why both my specials the first one was like 20 minutes, but I filmed both in Houston. Oh, wow. I have things in Houston. I almost filmed my last one in Houston. I don't understand it. I feel like in general, I don't know about the Latino culture, but I vibe better with Houston people. They seem a little more down to earth.

But I'm talking like Indian white people, black people, but like, yeah, I just vibe better with them. it seems like. Maybe. I feel like my next special I'll probably do like Houston or Chicago. Those two cities, I don't know, man. They show a lot of love. That's crazy.

Which is crazy too because Dallas and Houston have like a rivalry for some reason. But Houston shows love, dude. And Paul Wall told me he got love in Dallas before he got love in Houston. It's a weird thing. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah. But he was like, yeah, because I remember telling him he came to a show and I was like, yo, I feel like I'm getting more love here.

Oh, hold on. This is one important. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Single Camp, slam Chevy. Silverado. That Silverado looks tough. As far as like that generation, the Chevy's are better.

Tough. Yeah. I like those better. What are you drive? Let's take that out of the Hampton, you don't have a car? You're not a car? That's such a New York thing.

I know. Dude. That's why a whole number move here, bro. He's not going to drive the train. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I like the train. Like, it's freeing sometimes, too,

but yeah, I got to drive something. All right, you got to have a charge on this. Charger, not even Charger and Paula? Nah, it's still going on. why yeah i still go impala charger dog that shit looks great that charger looks fucking heavy yeah they're both boats

they're not moving fast but for sure it was way sicker I don't know why the impala's sicker you got more of these were you making this the entire time I was making this while you guys were talking so I only got a couple yeah oh that's awesome let's do this I get the I had that car

which one? The 550 you know black people love infinity you know black people love nisons and infinities I don't know why Mexicans love Chevys There are rules here and I don't know why I don't know about that I know Indians love Toyotas and Honda's Toyota more so Yeah because they're like

Toyota's a good car You guys know what to invest in to Yeah resale value is the best The Infinity G35 I think is like A better car I think right The 350 Z is going to be Way fun and drive More fun

It's way lighter We're like ready to drift Yeah they're sick What would you pick The 350 Z I'm so white I look at both these I fear They're just like grandma car I bought a 350 Z from a dude who looks like he could be Mark's cousin.

The dude looked like he was on med. What the fuck? My cousin? Yeah. Yeah. You got a drug addict. Marauder. Oh, I'll get the, uh, I love the GTO, but I'd get the marauders.

The marauders are so sick. Yeah. They're harder to find, I think, than the GTO's. Yeah, they're awesome. You know, you vibe with Carlos Miller on this? Carlos be doing this shit. He'd be fixing up cars. Yeah.

I've never met him in person, but he'll send me, like, car videos. sometimes and shit. Yeah, he's great, dude. That's the man. Do you like German cars? I do. How was this even comparable? I don't even understand. I'm just saying, you got the money. You got to look. One of them is way more scary to buy, which is $160,000, or $160,000

mile S.K. Bens, yeah. I still go SOK, though, but I wouldn't go convertible. Is that GTI stick shift? I fuck, I miss it. I miss driving manual. Yeah, right? How was the GTI even in the conversation? Like, why is that car? People like suping that up. That's a hatchback. Yeah, G-THAs are cool, they have history

People soup those up My first car was a civic hatchback That P, ass I, I, and people who like souping up cars would be like, y'all, I'll buy that car from you On the fucking spot. Oh, yeah, especially in Texas. Yeah. How many cars do you have? Do you have a collection or not? No, no, no, no. I'm here, so I'm in New York, I got one car. You got one car? Yeah, I want a minivan real bad, though.

I feel like I would save money in New York. You want a minivan? I want a minivan. You have kids already? Nah. No? How many kids do you want to have? Two to three. ideally fucking get on there

brother I know I am trying speaking of vans speaking of vans this is a clapper edition which clapper this is like between two evils

yeah this is just like Astro van absolutely beaner and bean yeah I'd go van because you could live in it yeah that's right that's what I want to do

I want to take a van and just take it on the road that would be modified if I didn't have a kid I would live in a van really yeah

how did you son now six he's six damn You get a math, though. Math. You heard three years ago he was three. Damn. I was here a minute ago.

Yeah. How's he doing now? Oh, man. He hates my job. He likes it and then he don't like me to leave, though. But he says he wants to be a comedian. Yeah. But every time he says he wants to be a comedian, like, it warms my heart.

But then I think about all the drugs I've done. And I'm like, nah. Yeah. Do something else. Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm like, be a police officer. You know, it helped him not be a comedian. You get in a therapy.

You want to therapy? Yeah, yeah. You keep leaving this kid. He's going to be like, I have issues that got to work out. And I'm going to be a comedian. Nah, man. He's with me like half the week.

So I think that's pretty good. And then the other half I'm out here. That sounds insane to somebody who, like, just lives with their kids. Nah, he's going to be fine. You never bring him on the road with him? He's 50% of it most weeks. I've taken him to, like, two road gigs. Yeah.

How was that? It's always, he likes traveling. I took him to Denver and I took him to Houston The Houston one was tough Because my dad was out there With me and my stepmom And he was with me like two days

And then on the third day He had to drive back to Dallas With my dad and my stepmom And he was like sad to go and stuff But the other one We flew to Denver And then flew back with me And now he's just like

Go back to Denver I want to see the snow I'm like boy summer Like it's not snowing right now They don't get it yet That's so sweet Kids kids don't understand Not the best

It's just the kid Was it crazy showing him the venue Like did he walk on the stage at all nah he didn't really give a fuck about it he's like I don't want to see that that's a good sign right that's awesome that's a great I love that he's just more there for like the other experience he just wants to be with you dude

he could not care less of you're famous yeah for real we were at a we're at the mall and I wore shades in a hat because I just I don't like I don't get recognized like a crazy amount but that day I was like I don't want to Mall in Dallas yeah North Park yeah I just didn't want to get recognized or somebody sometimes people take pictures of me

yeah like i'll get a picture of me taking without me knowing and i get like tagged in it and i don't want that to happen when i'm with my kid yeah i don't know i'm out there my bitch ass was walking on the street with my kid eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the street how old was your kid nine months or 10 months oh he's tiny yeah he's a little baby but i was walking in some dude walks i was like yo love the podcast i was like oh thank you ball brisprayette just like eating peanut butter on the street like looking crazy yeah my hair is even fucking frisier than this i was like i should probably not be outside

I don't even think about people saying what's up to me I'll go sloppy everywhere It's embarrassing Nah, that's all right I don't like you I feel I always want to apologize I'm sorry that I am this way My son wanted to expose me though

I was wearing the hats in the shades And my son wanted to grab the shades And I was like nah don't take them off And this It caught me off guard that he like said this He was like He's like why don't you want to take him off bah He's like you don't want people to know you're Ralph Barbosa

Oh And then he goes crazy He goes I'm gonna yell I'm going to be like, everybody, it's Rob Copeckos. I'm like, motherfucker. Yo, you really made a little you. That's crazy. Because that's exactly what you would say to you.

One time, I think he was with his mom one time. She was telling me that she took him somewhere recently. And I guess they went to a store where, like, I've taken pictures with the people there before or something. And that she told my kid, like, oh, yeah, these people are fans of your dad. And apparently he went up to the register. It was like, I'm my dad's son. And they're just like, all right, like, they don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Try to get candy and shit.

Yeah, give me this. They're like, all right, bro. Get the fucking candy. Well, I like being a dad, man. I don't know if I could have more kids. One time they told me my semen was, like, not up to par. And, like... Something about that chair.

Sorry. But I kind of want to go to the doctor and, like, give my nut fix. Well, so Andrew had the same issue. Slow swimmers, I think It's this issue But you can IVF You can get that taken care of Yeah

They told me it's like Slow swimmers Very few swimmers And a lot of them are not shaped right It's the weed Yeah, it's the weed I haven't smoked weed in months You want to run that back

I'm pretty sure it's been months No but I heard that I heard too much marijuana It can affect your sperm I could see that For sure I also heard it's like box Do you ever get these ads that are like,

they make you feel stupid for like stuff that you just were doing innocently? Yeah, like the underwear one. I think I know what you're talking about. You know what I'm talking about? Organic underwear or whatever? They're like, yo, fucking idiot. You still wearing polyester boxes?

I don't fucking know, maybe. I wore the ones in the store that they sold. Yeah. They're like, no, that can fuck up your sperm. Yeah, I've seen that exact commercial. That happens so much with parenting stuff. Like I get TikToks or like Instagram reels all the time. It's like, you know, are you playing music for your kid?

because it can affect their hearing. They'll be deaf forever. Yeah. And then I'm like, is this real? Yeah. And then you'll see another one that's like, you need to play music all the time to expose them to different sounds.

Yeah, well, okay. You're fucking up, no matter what. Exactly. You have to do our best. You don't have kids, bro? No, no kids. He's killed a few before they were born. Jesus.

That's fucking brutal. How do you kill them before they're born, though? Ask Texas. Yeah. He doesn't even know what that is. This guy's not allowed within state lines, dude. He tried to fly to Austin They stopped him at the border

They made the plane turn around There's one posters this guy everywhere in Texas I can see that boy I don't think I want kids Nah Yeah I don't think so I guess I guess it's We know dude

I guess it's good I mean I still got to hobbit by Chaved my mind But right now yeah I don't think so Really? Yeah

Why? No It's just not calling me You know how you guys like want kids Like he wants kids And I'm like Look man I'm gonna bring

this up for the third time but i did joe rogan's podcast he told me there's a shortage in japan of people yeah yeah which you wouldn't think right when you watch tokyo adrift you see the scene where they go through all the people also 10 times he's brought japan for the record a little weed little weed i'm worried about japan they have a shortage of people they can't

replace the people that are there yeah so and then joe showed me a picture of some who's like in a relationship with an anime character and then so then you want to be that guy i want to be that character no but that's like some scary shit don't be that guy bro why it's better you'd be a shitty father than not a father at all that's a good point i've never disagreed with anything more in my life for the sake of our economy i think my dad took that in Have a kid.

Have a kid, and then just leave. Why? It's because we need to not be Japan. Why is it a bad? Yeah, you didn't say anything about why it's bad. You just said the problem. I don't know what Joe's said it's bad, man. But Joe's with his kids.

Yeah, it's true. But he said that it's bad for Japan because that's like really bad. Yeah, they got a negative birth rate. More old people than young people. people. So people will die, right? Yeah, I understand that part. But why is that so bad?

I don't necessarily understand. An economy of a few people can't support a bunch of pensioners that don't work. They're going to die off. I would imagine. This is just high school diploma talking. Okay. I would imagine that there's like not going to be enough jobs being taken care of. like if there's fucking three farmers working on a farm

but they didn't have kids or whatever who's gonna like take over the farm there's no farm who's gonna make the weird but once I was old people die now the population just shrinks and now we're back it's a short term problem I think it's like a 20 year problem once these old people die we're all good and AI and robots are taking most jobs anyway

I would like to say that's also probably a better thing what a fucking valid point then you three guys to go on Joe Rogan next Or I need you guys to go with me next time I do it Because you probably won't be invited But I will And every time he brings up a subject Like congregate with you guys And then we rebuttal

The Epstein thing What's going on Who's going to jail? He's a pedophile No one's going to jail That we've learned No one's going to jail Hey you know apparently nothing happened

No that's insane That's so insane So Mark could probably tell you more about What actually happened Tom Hanks was on the list. Okay, I don't know if that's true. I need to know if I can still love Tom Hanks or not. I don't believe Tom Hanks on the list.

I think people who get really deep in a conspiracy start saying Tom Hanks is on the list, but I don't think he's actually in the list. I really hope he's not. I need him to not be on that list. Yeah. I love Tom Hanks. Yeah, I agree. What's your favorite Tom Hanks movie? Toy Story.

The one where you don't see him at all. This is voice. The one where he's getting played with by a kid? Or maybe. That's kind of crazy, bro. That's wild. The one where he's a little woody? Stop connecting the dots.

Stop connecting the dots. A kid is playing with him and he's Woody. I was going to bring up another movie here, but it's still just the pedophilia. I was going to say big. A grown woman fucks Tom Hanks. Bro, just saying, bro. All the writers on the wall. You're connecting the dots, really.

Welcome to it. Fuck. The Matrix. He's in the Matrix. If he was on the list, would you stop lagging? If he wasn't on the list? If he was on the list? Yeah.

Those movies would hit way different. I mean, I just like, ever since I even heard the rumor, I just can't watch a Tom Hanks movie without just wondering. Like, half the movie, I'm like, this guy is so fucking talented. And then the other half, I'm like, but he's twisted. Yeah. I don't think Tom Hanks on the list. I just don't think so. Maybe you didn't love with Tom Hanks.

Maybe. Maybe I choose to believe the good in Tom Hanks. You know it's an underrated Tom Hanks movie? You seen The Terminal? Yeah. That shit cracks. Did you ever read about the true story? No.

Yeah, the dude that lived in the airport. Yeah, the dude lived in the airport, and he was not as handsome as Tom Hanks. I'll tell you that right now. Yeah, he got an upgrade in the casting on that. Yeah, and then they, like, gave him citizenship, right? And then he didn't like living in the outside, so he went back to live at the airport, and then he died at the airport. Yeah, can we get an image of the dude? Yeah.

He literally was just posted of an airport. airport for like 25 years. If I saw that guy at the airport, I would report them. You're allowed to do that? One guy is. You're a snitch, yo. Look at him. I'd be like that guy.

I think he's that bad looking. That guy's on the fucking Epstein list. Yeah, he just looks Middle Eastern. Nah, bro. Look at that mustache. Yeah, Middle Eastern. He's Iranian. Bang.

Yeah. And he was like stateless, if I remember. Look at his eyes. I don't think he's that ugly. He's just bald. He's no Tom Hanks, though. He's no Tom Hanks, well. That's a fact.

Okay. I didn't know Tom Hanks is hot. You can tell me that guy's not that ugly. Come on. I don't stop doing drugs. That's me in 10 years. I'm Terminal Part 2. I don't even know how that happens, though.

You just try to miss your flight and you're like, fuck it. I live here now. Nah, I think the story was that he fucking, he's flying to America. And as he's flying in, his country sees him. to exist due to a war. They infiltrate his country and they took it over. So when he lands, he's a citizen of like nowhere. He's stateless.

Yeah. So you can't even leave the airport because it's like illegal. He's like he can't even go through customs. It's beautiful. I've never seen it. What's the girl's name in the movie? She looks gorgeous in that movie. She was going, she was on a run during that little era. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She did Oceans 12. Yep.

She's still like, no. Wait, but what country is right? You said he's a Persian? He was from. The actual person's Iranian, but in the movie, they like make up a contract yeah they put him in some made up country yeah whoa i still don't get how does he just stay in the airport though because they can't let him into america because he's not a citizen he's in paris they can't let him into france airports are not actually like part of the country wait he was in he was in paris yeah no in the real story in the real story he was in paris oh sorry

yeah oh i didn't know that i mean but was he rich like how is he feeding himself how is he like people like donate and give him food he was a coffee bean you know what i mean And you're just eating If you watch the movie Which to me is the real story He's also like homies with all He really hustles People who are up there

Yeah People that worked there would like them They gave him like a little corner I could sleep in I thought it was a love I thought it was a love at an airport I thought that's what the movie was He just masturbated in an airport

A lot No what am I thinking A misconnection Is that a movie Where people fall in love In an airport Joe I really thought This is a love story

I swear to God I had no idea This movie sounds awesome That's a wild It's a beautiful film. Yeah. Tom Hanks is not on the list. I can't see it.

I also think he's not attached to the list. I think he's attached to some like gloves. Yeah, it's another different conspiracy where he's like post stuff on Instagram and people look into it and they're like, look, he's doing the, he's part of this big. It's much more like hairbrained. It's less, less. Yeah. He'll, like, just post a glove and people are like, this is a sign.

He killed someone. You can keep watching Toy Story. Yeah, I don't think he's connected to Epstein. No, but he did react when Ricky Jervais did the jokes about Epstein. He was like, hmm. So people are like, oh. Oh, he's involved because of his reaction. Ah.

Yeah. They're reaching. Yeah. I think it's a reach. If he was actually involved, he would laugh to lie. That's what actual actors always do. When someone else wins the Oscar and they all pretend they're happy, they're all lying. That's what he would do.

They're happy. Come on. Don't be so cynical. Are you not happy for the comics when they get like a video order? Do you know what I mean? Okay, but you don't lie about it. So give the actors the benefit. I'm not an actor.

Actors are liars by profession. You pretend to be someone else. That's like your whole job. He's so her right now. He wanted to be an actor. He's like, don't call my profession. Sunday, I'm going to be hanging now with Tom Hanks and Brad Pitt. And we're going to look down on you, Akash.

I hope that, dude, I pray that happens for you. Just stay away from the children. I wouldn't do it. Now, I don't even talk to my own kid. He is. He's doing a great job. Come on. Who you talking to, huh?

I don't think I don't think I could make it as an actor. I didn't think about it But when I did that Verizon commercial It was like all day filming Yeah But then that was it Yeah One day, that's it

Actors fucking do that shit For like months at a time If I did any acting Which I think would be fun still I would have to do small roles Like I'd You know what I mean? Yeah

But you know I don't think you need to be the lead I would love to be just like The comedic side character And the thing But that before that's how you used to make it This is what I was saying Before you get in a movie or TV show

And then people will be like Oh, that's Ralph Barbosa, and then they would find that you did stand-up and see your stand-up. Now it's the opposite. That I realized a little too late in life is that, like, middle spots are like the sweetest. Like even in comedy. Oh, feature. I can't believe you would say that, bro. Feature spots are sweet.

He has to leave. He has to catch a flight to go headline, actually. Mark, where are you headlining next week? Oh, I'm going to be in Detroit. And then Montreal and Toronto. Bang. There you go. Go cash.

Mark, Gaggan on. Suck his dick. Also, before the show, I told Ralph I had to leave, and he was like, yeah, just at some point, just pretend to be offended and get out. It's a case that I think middle spots, they're good. Yeah, you got to dream bigger, bro. His father was killed by a sandwich. I told you that in confidence. Don't bring that out.

Edit that out. How dare you? Sorry about that. I'll see y'all. I love you, man. Love y'all. Like a castle entrance. So you miss being a feature?

I got to feature for a short amount of time. But I never featured for anybody like on the. road a lot yeah um like to be touring with somebody yeah but yeah i feel like that's like it's the best it's a good spot you know don't if they give you 20 and let you rock 20 25 oh god if you can make a living off of that and i have to like really deal with a whole lot of but then again i'm i'm i sound so ungrateful i wouldn't trade no i know and i think and i'm not even saying this i think you have a healthy ego it's not even a shot i think you have a healthy like i'm going to be big and i think it's good i think you need that so i don't think you'd be happy being a future

I think you're going up and you want to keep going up. Yeah, because then if you're a feature, you'll never know people are there for you. That's true, but it's still sweet. It's a sweet spot. What you're saying is as a gig, so like, I didn't feature a ton on the road either, but I'll look at my features and they'll do 20 and get off and they're done, and then I have to go to an hour, and it's like, oh, your job is easier. Yeah, it's just a fun gig.

This is more pressure and it's better, but it's like the weight of the thing is on me if you bomb i'm coming to clean it up yeah if i bomb what the fuck happens you know what i mean people are posting about it blah blah blah so it's just like as a gig it's the best gig yeah i would not trade lives but it's the feedback the feedback can be on you like good or bad reviews yeah but if the feature just goes out there and does bad they're like who gives a shit i didn't come to see him yeah if he does good everybody's like oh my god yeah yeah yeah oh yeah you're funnier than and it's less time and the audience is already warm and you just do your best shit and get out so

sometimes they'll be like that you know you're better in the feature or you're better than the headliner I used to get that never want to open for Andrew obviously but like other people you were better than the headliner it's like yeah maybe but also I had an easier gig yeah I would tell people I'd like 15 minutes they did like an hour like

yeah it's not fair yeah yeah but how is your act change since you're doing an hour now like are you digging in deeper are you getting any personal stuff you don't have to I'm just curious now I mean I've always I feel like like my material is always kind of arranged. I mean, it's always silly either way. But I feel like lately, like the last few months,

I've been doing a lot of crowd work. It's because I'm tired of hearing my own act. And I've had a little bit of, like, writers' block. Yeah. And I've just enjoyed the crowdwork more. It's just been fun. It's so fun. It's the most honest moment.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Some people, I know, like, I got maybe, like, two, three messages where they're just like, hey, man, I went to your show and, like, you did, like, a few jokes. and then you just did a lot of crowd work. I just wanted to see jokes.

And I get it. Yeah. And I don't really post a lot of crowd work because I also don't want people to like expect crowdwork and just start yelling a lot. But yeah, it's been fun. Yeah. I just need a little break from the script.

Yeah. That's what people, so when I first started before YouTube, before like if you need to put a clip up every week, you can't do a new joke every week. You're burned out. So now we all do crowd work. But back then people would judge it. And I was like, Doug, that is the only real moment

we're having 98% of what I say is off the top some one or two things I'll probably reuse but every joke I've been working on I do it in every city it's like it's a script yeah this is not this is real this is us having a thing I love that I like I like doing jokes to that are like um like you what do you call it like fill in the blank type jokes depending on the city yeah like I was doing this joke and so I'll ask though before the show starts I'll ask like the staff like what's like the ghettoest neighborhood around you know so like i started doing it in dallas i'd be like um the joke was like pleasant grove or whatever yeah i would use pleasant grove yeah so i'd go on stage it'd be like um i don't like when people uh act like they're too good for like junk food

like they like look down on junk food like i was out with a girl and and i was like oh look there's a food truck we could just eat there and she's like oh i don't trust food trucks i was like fucking me you don't trust you he's gonna drive off and get like a little laugh And then she'd be like, no, I mean, I don't like it. Like, what if they don't have a good health rating? Or, like, what if it's not sanitary? Yeah. And then I'd be like, girl, I picked you up in Pleasant Grove.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'd be like, ah. So then, like, I like, I like doing that stuff on the road. No, they love that. Because then I'll change, yeah, I'll say, like, oh, I'll pick you up in the Bronx. And then it's like, oh, he gets them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I also like to take it a step further and, like, let people know, like, hey, like break the fourth wall.

Like, yeah, I do this. I do this with a different neighborhood. You're like, it's stupid, you know? No, that's great, though, because they also, they want to know you're part of the thing and you're talking about something that only they know. And, like, if you're doing a Mexican show and you talk about some shit, that only Mexican people know they love it. If I'm doing an Indian show and I'm talking about some inside shit, they love it.

So it's be the same thing. If I'm in San Diego. It's a little more intimate like that. I love to, like, break away from my own act. Even before I started doing crowd work, I would just fucking, like, at some point in my show, I would, like, give people a fucking behind the scenes. on like that joke like you know i wrote that and i was like taking the shit yeah this and that well i don't know why you like doing that i'm curious i'm not even i feel like if i if i just do a

whole hour of like joke after joke or like joke story joke it can be very um i feel like people can tune out more and even i get bored of it yeah but i get bored easily i don't know i don't know if it's like the fucking well no i think most people get bored easily now we got those phones all the time yeah so i got to think of some way to like fucking break the fourth wall get a little like keep Yeah, some new stimulus. That's a great idea. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I'm curious. You can see, typically, how many years in you now? 8, 9, 9? I'm like 9, almost 10, I think. Yeah, 10 years and then 15 years and then 20 years, the act just keeps evolving. And it's going to be interesting to see, because you blew up pretty quick, like we said. So you got about 14, 15 years left of evolving. And you're still going to be headlined. And so, like, this is awesome. Your first Hulu special, Planet Bosa, is going to be. different than your last Netflix special. And then in 10 years, you're going to put out a special on whatever streamer or whatever that's going to be so different than this. And your fans get to like really follow you on the journey, which is going to be cool. You know, I actually like

the Planet Bosa special a little more than my last special. That's great. Yeah. But I actually feel like it's because it devolved. What do you mean? Like, I feel like my Netflix special was hard for me to tell if I really like the jokes I was saying or not like. Like, Like, it was getting laughs. Fuck it. I was using it. You know what I mean? And like it was cool with her.

But I feel like when I did this Hulu special, I had already had more experience on the road and gotten way more comfortable that I got to just be myself on stage more. That's awesome. So like Calabunga was like very, very nervous. I was like shooting bricks. I was like, but I feel like with the Hulu one, I was just way more myself. So I felt like I got to be like a older version of myself. Yeah. Well, who knows?

I don't know. But that's, again, that's part of it. What do I know, man? I'm just a kid. I don't even think it's devolving. I think it's, like, part of it. And you are, you're going to keep growing. You're, I'm 41, you're 28.

I remember that. I'm a very different person in comic than I was in those 13 years. I mean, I wasn't that good then. But it's going to, that's going to be the same thing for you. Whatever, devolve evil. It's all gross. I see a lot of, like, comics that I think are very funny, like comics that I'm a fan of online. And I'll start to wonder, like, bro, should I be reading more?

I feel like a lot of comics are like so somewhat smarter nowadays I feel like you read a lot and you mentioned multiple books that you were reading Which one? Is the Hunter and Thompson one? Yeah, and then there was another one. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm gonna buy the book I don't read shit. No? No, but you also didn't say you were fan of me, so it's fine But I don't read I don't think you need to be you. That's my personal thing. You just got to be you

people love you specifically you. Ralph, they're like, oh, he's so funny. Okay, I'll take it. Yeah. So it's like just the more you you are, the better. I appreciate it, man. Yeah. Did I mention I started an automotive channel? Fuck, I was supposed to promote that. Formula Bean.

Yeah. They can't deport us if they can't catch us. Yeah. I don't. That's funny. That's our racing slogan. Yeah. So what do y'all race?

We've raced a couple times. We put nitrous and a turbo in a 1989 Nissan 240. Not tuned, so it ran horribly. and we blew it up. That's sick. Yeah, we committed a sin and put an L.S. in the skyline. I don't even know what that means, dude.

I'm going to be honest. This is one of those rogan moments where I could pretend I know what you mean to look at my masculine, but nah, I don't know what the fuck you just said. I know Skyline because it was on Grand Tourismo back in the day. It's a Nissan, right? Yeah.

Thank God. How many cars you own now? What's your stable look like? We've got 76 Camero, 72, Camero, 71 Skyline, 90 Skyline, 98, 240, 96 Impala, truck, C10. Yeah, I think I got seven. No, no, no, I got the SS, and then I got the $3.50. I think I got nine.

Nine and ten. Ten, all right. And then what is the one you find yourself? Four of them run. Nice. All right. Wait, you got cars that don't run? Most of them don't run.

You're going to get them to run, though. That's the idea, right? That's what I'm saying. You're passionate. Find things that all run. Oh, man, I bought a 1973 barracuda fire. Yeah, I think he's sick. So you've got 11 cars now.

Yeah. And how many, four of them run? Yeah. Four or five? How many run well and reliably? Do you have a reliable car that you have for, like, family shit? My R35. This is a family car.

What's that? That's not a family car. GNTR? Yeah, the actor? Is it an Accur? No, no, it's a Nissan, GTR. That's not a... You got a kid seat in there?

Nah, my son just sits in the back. I make them taking shoes off, though, because I don't want... Because there's not enough... There's not a whole lot of space. So there's a back seat. Can I suggest an everyday car for you? Yeah? Toyota, Sienna.

Hybrid. Sienna, can't pull that up? What does the Toyota minivan? Oh, the minivan? I love minivans. I said that. They're fired. I don't like to drive them, though.

No, you would love to drive it. With your son, he would actually be safe. His life would be okay. I know. He's safe, man. I'm a good driver. I'm talking about the car, dude. You don't know what other people.

There's other bad drive. I almost hit a guy yesterday. Crackhead walking down the street. I didn't see him. Is that how you keep your family safe by running over crack kids? Have I driven you anywhere? No. My son would not be caught dead in that thing.

Like, my son would not let us drive that. My son picks what we drive for the day. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. So he'll tell me like, hey, let's drive the SS today. Like, hey, let's drive him in that thing. You take him in that thing. You turn on the TV in the backseat.

He can be thrilled to death. Yeah, he'll probably will. would like that but he'll still call it lame i know my son he'll think that's so lame oh so he's into cars too he's yeah he's into cars does he like come with you while you're fixing it up yeah he'll be out there handing me stuff and shit is there an age in which or like an age is there a time in which a car isn't running and you're just like fuck this oh or because i'm a worried you're just going to keep buying cars they don't run and they're just going to keep not running yeah that's what i'm just going to have 14 cars that don't run and four that run that's what i feel like

already happened yeah i think the fact that you have more cars that don't run it's like Like, you're at the point where... Great observation. I don't think you should... Great observation, Alex. Last week, I stayed home like all week. We got like three of them running. There was more.

The ratio was bad. It was so bad. If you had one car, though, it was running? Yeah. I had like one car running. I don't think you're a good mechanic. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm busy on the road.

You can't commit to your kid a full week. You commit to six cars to fix? We got them. They're going. They're up and going, all right? You give me one week at home, the other six will be good to go. Take two weeks off.

Take two. I'm trying to. You're a YouTube channel. Can you be dedicated to this, please? Look, bro, I'm trying to. This was Hulu's idea of the press tour. All right. What do you think about this truck?

Oh, okay. That's how we got you back. The press tour. You got to promote something, baby. Baby. What do you think about this truck? Oh, man, those are badass. I don't even like Teslas, but those right there?

I would buy those. I got one. I got one. You got one? You got one? Those are sick. I fucking love it. up that shit is fast yeah yeah and it's like because of the crab

what the fuck do you park that in new york though i got a garage oh nice you gotta have a garage if you go the car yeah it's just i mean you can but it's so much easier if you're yeah that's what having a car in new york is super expensive because not only you're paying for the car you're paying for parking paying for tickets you're gonna get a bunch of tickets yeah what yeah these ticket people on the street like they'll get you the moment it's a minute over it's like boom take this is fucking tough city they got you yeah i couldn't do it You can go to Jersey.

Oh, story is cool. I'm right next to the story. I'm in Long Island City. Oh, okay. But you would probably do Jersey. Jersey would be good. You have some space. You can have your cars out there.

I went to New Jersey three months ago. I wanted to go to the Sopranos diner. Oh, yeah. What is it called? Where they shot them? But they said it's just like an ice cream shop now or something. Oh, fuck. What does that place call?

You're a big Sopranos fan? Yeah, I love Sopranos. I loved it. I loved it. And then they took a break. I don't even, you're probably to you and remember this. They took a break for like two years, and then I was just like, yeah, I'm good. Then I watched one or two episodes, and I was like, I think Tony got shot in the stomach,

and then it was like dream episodes, and I was like, I'm doing. Wait, what season did they take a break between five and six or what? Five and six or four and five, one of those two? Because what's her name, Edie Falco had breast cancer, I think? Oh, they took a big break from filming. God forbid somebody has cancer and ruins your show a car. No, I'm not mad at it. I just fell out of love with it.

No, I just fell out of love with it. It's still good, bro. You got to finish it. I just wasn't, and then everybody said the ending wasn't that good, and I was like, all right. The ending was amazing. It's the best ending in TV history. That's your favorite TV show of all time, Sopranos.

Favorite TV show of all time. Breaking Bad? Breaking Bad is probably... I think I put Breaking Bad number one. I think Breaking Bad is like my third. But there you go Sopranos. The Wire? Nah, and this is just drama shows.

Sopranos is my favorite show of all of all time, right? But if I'm just going on... Number two. Yeah, huh? Dragon Ball Z, number two. No, no, no, no, Ruto, number three. Nah, no, the animas don't count. There's those Sopranos, Atlanta, Breaking Bad.

And after that, I don't know. No, we're putting Breaking Bad above Atlanta, but it's a good list of it. But it's because I, like, I don't, like, they're entertaining, but they, like, Breaking Bad and Sopranos both fall to me, like, under, like, crime stuff. I like Atlanta because of how, like, it didn't. rely on like a criminal world or whatever and it would get so fucking crazy it's a creative yeah it is very creative yeah it's very great like i like i was fucking love how that show is just very original like donald lover's stand-up but he's a creative i never watched his stand-up i watched

like the joke where he was talking about how they wanted him to be spider-man oh okay and i was like i don't really but the man is a genius he's a yeah he's a brilliant creative mind undeniably. Or like his music. He has a song called, fuck, what's that one song called? I don't think about it later. I'll send it to you.

Okay. It's a good song. You dedicated to your girl. Okay. Go have a picnic or something. You're dedicated to your girl? Yeah, if I ever get a girl. Okay.

Well, you're in love with somebody. I am. Do that? I wouldn't say I'm in love. I'm crushing. Okay. But she just not want a relationship right now, or she doesn't think you're ready to settle down?

He keeps emphasizing she, like he doesn't think it's a girl. Did you notice it? Does she know? He's almost like skeptical. You never know. She knows I'm crushing on her. Oh, well, then what's the problem? Let's get her.

Oh, I don't know. We could do this, dude. I'm a great wingman. Call it right now. No, I'm not going to call it. Why not, dude? The most aggressive wingman in the world. Just come on, figure out, get married tomorrow.

Come on. Have I ever wingman for you? No, but it's just a very aggressive hyperactive. This guy's fucking great. He's funny. Big Dick. Miriam tomorrow. Why not?

Yeah. That is pretty much what it would be. It kind of works. That would work. Yeah. Thank you. That would work. That would work.

Don't let him weaponize his therapy against you, all right? He does it to me all the time. It's annoying as fault. You push back. Hey, you're actually, you're the guy in the chair. You end the show whenever the fuck you want. You just look into the camera. You say, hey.

Do you want to promote anything before I sign off? I launched my own podcast. I know it's a big commitment, but I'm actually doing it's called the archive. You guys want to check it out. Also, next week I'm going to be, well, when this comes out, I'm going to be out of the country. I'm taking a vacation on my mom. Oh, nice. I'm taking my mom on vacation.

The Elwood Beach Vacation. Turks and Caicos. Turks and Caicos? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good luck. Drake ruined that shit. Hey, I would love with some black dudes hit on my mom. If any black dudes see my mom want to hit on her, she got fat tits.

She'd probably be very flattered. You're going to scare them away. You're going to scare a good man away from your mom. I'm going to scare a black dude away. I don't think that's happening. You are. You're going to weird out a black dude. That's fun.

He's going to be like, no, man, if you raise this guy, fuck that. I'm okay with that. Anyway, everybody, that's been our show for today. Make sure you check out Planet Bosa on Hulu. Also, check out Formula Bean, where we're doing stupid shit all the time. He was supposed to plug that an hour and a half ago. We're supposed to plug that way earlier in the podcast.

But also check out my buddy, Jaime, on the Fat Fish podcast. Ralph will be honest sometimes. Yeah. And on this one, everyone's one. Let me three years. Yeah, yeah. I'll be back in three years to host again.

2028. Can't wait. Watch Street Fighter. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha