Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Ralph Barbosa Speaks On George Lopez Diss & Ohio Train Crashes

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

Whats up people, we got Ralph Barbosa in the studio today to talk about the recent comments from George Lopez & growing up in a cartel family. And THEN, we got just the boys chopping up about Ohio train conspiracies, UFC conspiracies, and why The Last Of Us is the greatest game ever. 00:00 Beef with George Lopez? 06:22 George Lopez called Ralph to apologize 08:32 OGs need their love too 10:50 Ralph doesn’t even think George was being personal 13:50 Andrew Schulz’s Slideshow Pain 15:16 Ralph is stuck in Dallas 17:46 Ralph - bum at heart + getting pum pum 21:41 Ralph’s family involvement with Cartels 27:52 Ralph’s dad and uncle did their time 33:15 Feeling like Michael Corleone 38:18 Ralph leaves before it gets too good 29:14 Dave Chappelle is Ralph’s entry into comedy 41:51 Eddie Murphy + Chris Rock + Patrice are special 44:37 Online will let the talented succeed 48:42 People being nice is suspicious 55:02 Check Ralph Barbosa on Entrenos [HBO] 58:19 Ralph Leaves - Elon Musk jelly of Joe Biden? 01:00:47 Andrew’s mom kissed another man? 01:03:53 Moms weren’t getting RINSED 01:07:03 Back to Biden - fake humble 01:09:50 Control your troops - shouldn’t be leaking 01:11:40 Did Islam Makhachev use an IV? 01:17:49 Incredible fight: scoring + pound for pound 01:26:14 Billboard’s Rap list + Nicki Minaj might deserve her place 01:38:37 Super Bowl was rigged 01:40:13 Trains should never crash 01:42:58 Are there more poison cargo or people trains? 01:54:20 Andrew watching and playing The Last of Us 01:56:18 TLoU Episode 5 discussion 02:00:50 Best place to hide during Zombie outbreak? 02:01:23 Camp Gagnon’s next episode - free diver insane story 02:03:00 Raiding camps or hurricanes - which would you pick? 02:05:25 Alexx would rather become a zombie + The Bloater

He called me. He's like, hey, Ralph, this is George, man, George Lopez. My first words was like, what the f***? What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. And today, we are sitting down with the new voice of Cats and Dogs. George Lopez has been replaced by Ralph Barbosa. Cats and Dogs 4. Ralph is the new, I'm assuming, Chihuahua. Maybe it's a different dog. I'm not exactly certain.

Ralph, why are you stirring up so much shit with the OGs, man? La Raza, why are you doing that, dude? Yeah. Pocos perolocos, wey. This is like... Oh, my God. This is like saying a Mexican's worst enemy is another Mexican. Oh, shit.

Yeah, and it's true. I don't like these Mexicans. Damn it. Bro, we agree on so much Mexican. Oh, shit. Yeah, and it's true. I don't like these Mexicans. Damn it. Bro, we agree on so much. Come on, bro. Come on. Okay, listen. Obviously, there's this beef.

Everybody's going around. I don't even know if it's beef. I don't think so. No, this shit's beef. I thought it was fine. Thought it was fine for real? Yeah. I mean, you did put a video out

where you were killing him. Yeah. I put out the edited version. I have a director's cut. Oh. I just thought it was funny because I like that movie, like Carlitos Way. Yeah. And I like the thought of like taking out the old dudes.

But the reason that I put that video up was because like I just started being on the road. And every now and then somebody would be like, you're the next George Lopez. Even before this George Lopez thing, my response was already like, yo, fuck George Lopez. Oh, really? Whenever somebody would yell that from the audience

or any Latino comedian they'd throw out, whoever their idols were, I was like, fuck your idols. But when that thing came out, I was just like, oh, this is pretty, this is like what I've been saying. Yeah.

Was that a real sentiment or just I'm trying to get a laugh on stage when they say it? Or was your brain really like, yo, I'm coming for it. Fuck all these guys. Nah, I wasn't really like coming for them. It's just that when they would name them, I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes it's a funny thing to say on stage. Yeah, it's a funny thing to say. I just think it's funny that they're just like assuming I like looked up to George Lopez.

That's the thing I wanted to ask you when you came up because you're 26. Yeah. I'm 39. Yeah. And I felt I was young when I was watching George Lopez. Yeah, I wasn't watching him. I don't think you ever grew up watching him. Even when I was watching him, I was like, I don't get it. Oh, come on.

No, that motherfucker's hilarious. That's hate, bro. That's hate, bro. That was good hate. That was good hate. You gotta give it up for good hate. That's hate. Yo, watch it,

you got your chain on your head. I like that. You didn't think he was funny? Like, yeah, he's funny, but I didn't think he was like, I'm not like, gonna like,

yo, man, I wanna watch this George Lopez like, special or like, oh, the I didn't think he was like, I'm not like going to like, yo, man, I want to watch this George Lopez like special or like, oh, fucking show is going to come on. Like, I would hear people quote him all the time. Yeah. And I'm like, yo, I got to see that one day. And then when I did see it, I'm like, yeah. I can breathe. I can breathe.

That's so funny. My chest. Yeah, like that. I don't know. Next up. Hey, I love't know. Next up, what? Hey, I love this. Now, this is what it is. It's like comedy, you need comedy within the context of time

because this is how I felt about Pryor because I saw Eddie first. So everybody would tell me, oh, my God, Pryor's the truth. He's the greatest ever. And I grew up on Eddie. So when I saw Pryor, I was like, nah, he's not fucking with Eddie. Yeah, I feel that. This feels like, I know this feels, it's like blasphemy to almost say,

this feels like a less funny version of this guy who is the king for me. Yeah, comedy evolves with time. So you're coming up, and also comedy's changing. Like, I imagine when George was putting out that first special, this is like, this is the first time Mexicans are seeing a guy relate and share their experiences in a comedic way, especially on fucking HBO so

they're seeing other guys they're seeing Rock they're seeing Carlin they're seeing all these other dudes and finally it's like oh shit yeah he's talking that thing that I've experienced whereas you're watching it and you've seen all these jokes played out for 20 or 30 years by different people different versions so if you go back to it, you go, yo, there's better versions of all these takes. Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. I didn't, I wasn't like huge into stand-up growing up though.

Yeah. And if I was watching stand-up, I was watching whoever came on TV around that time. Yeah. So it was like Comedy Central. So it was a lot of like, of like Chappelle's thing or like Patrice O'Neal's like special, like reruns of their like type of stuff or clips or whatever.

And by the time I did see like a George Lopez clip or something like that, I just remember he kept saying like stuff like Latinos, you know us. And I like that was like the corniest line in the world to me. Yeah. For anybody to say like, you know us, man. Yeah. We get down or like, it was just like,, you know us, man. We get down. Or like, it was just like,

I don't know, I couldn't get into it. To his point. So I'm not saying it's not funny. I just couldn't get into it. Yo, I'm George Lopez side now. Fuck these young kids. No, but this is,

and George does say that in the podcast. No, I started, it's almost like, it's like when young dudes look at the rap OGs and the rap seems so simple. And they're just hip hop, a hippie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? And you're just like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, that sort of feels like I'm watching George. Yes, but at the time, that Dr. Seuss shit was fire. I bet, I bet, yeah. Not to say he's not funny. Like, yeah, he's funny as fuck. It's just like, I'm not going to watch him.

To his point, you were like three when the George Lopez show came on the air. You were like five or six when the special came out. So that thing back then, to his point, it's like when Indians, when we saw Russell, I'm old enough to like see the beginning. I really felt exactly like what he said. Like, yo, we've never heard anybody talking to us. Holy fuck, I'm so happy. This is so funny. Young kids coming up now watching that are going to be like, yo, there's a hundred Indian comics.

This one, he's doing this simple thing. It's like, no, back then, that was it. That was the only thing. And George, back then, nobody was talking to them. So you're watching this 15, 16. George was a Mexican comedian. You're a comedian as Mexican. Okay, I see it, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? But you needed a Mexican comedian. So that I could be a comedian that's Mexican. Yes. You know, because you're not going up there like, I could be a comedian that's Mexican. Yes. You know, because you're not going up there like, I got to tell you everything about being Mexican today. You ready? Somebody already told him.

You know us Mexicans. Yeah. Now I do, actually. Now I do. After George Lopez, now I get it. That's why you don't have to, because now we know. Dead ass. We're like, we know Mexicans now because George Lopez taught us.

And he's like, nice. I'm telling you, the dude called me after that whole thing he said. I wasn't mad when he said it. Yeah. Because like, I'm telling you,

I have a whole lot of respect for him still. When he said it, I'm not like, ah, what the fuck? Like heard about it. But I also wasn't like, oh yeah, who cares?

It just was like, it's a fucking podcast. You're talking shit. Yeah. So what if he said it? You know what I mean? He doesn't know me. So like, it's his. He knows you're talking shit. So what if he said it? You know what I mean? He doesn't know me, so like it's his... He knows you, my boy.

But it's his podcast. You don't say I don't know somebody five times unless you know him. Unless you know him. But yeah, he called me and he was like super cool. I was kind of like starstruck by it, to be honest, because I wasn't expecting it. How did he call you? Was he like... Watch out!

No, no, no. Tell me about the call. He was just like, hey, Rob, this is George, man. George he like like watch out no no tell me about the call what happened he was just like he was like hey Rob this is George man George Lopez

I was like I want to apologize and my first words was like what the fuck and I was like my bad man I didn't mean to

be like rude or nothing it's just like damn kind of caught me off guard you know that he's even calling me and he was just like yeah man

he's like I just I was kind of like in the heat of the moment where I was just kind of shooting the shit with Trevino and kind of fired up about it

but I didn't mean to like talk badly about you or anything like that. Like, just kind of talking shit, you know? Like, but I apologize.

I was like, you didn't have to, man. I was like, I appreciate that a lot. Like, you really didn't have to, you know? It's not like

bugging me like that. He was like, no, no, no. He's like, I did. I had to, whatever. He's like, that's decent though that he didn't do a public apology. Yeah, I didn't have to you know it's not like bugging me like that he was like nah nah nah he's like I did I had to whatever he's like

that's decent though that he didn't do a public apology yeah I wouldn't have I don't think it had to be public at all a lot of people

online were like you just fucking you slander him in public you apologize in public nah bro then it would've looked like he's just doing it for them

not for you yeah he's just like he's like comic to comic man to man he's like I just want to apologize, man. He's like,

you got my number. If you ever did need help with anything, you got my number now. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that was cool as fuck. You going to take him up on that? See if he's about it?

I'll probably wait until I'm in a really tough jam. Yeah. Murder trial. I'm like, yo, it's about that time. He was cool. It's that Steve Trevino guy. I'm starting to yo, you're not that time. He was cool. It's that Steve Truvino guy.

I'm starting to think he's the bad guy. It is weird with the OGs. I think that like, and again, you're a few generations away from George, but I think the perception

of the people that we look up to is, at least from us, you know, like with me, Patrice is my guy. And whenever I had the opportunity to interact with him,

like I almost removed myself from it because I was like, I don't want to inconvenience him. I don't want to ask him for help. I don't want to ask him for things. Like, and probably they're twofold. It's like, one, I don't want to be rejected by someone I admire so much. And also like, he could never have time for me.

But I think we forget that like, they're also comics despite their we forget that they're also comics despite their success. So they're also looking for some validation, some appreciation, especially from the next crop. So they would probably love if we reached out and love if we were like, yo, can I just get any advice?

Is there anything? I'm about to experience something you experienced earlier in your career, et cetera. And yeah, I guess maybe, yeah, I don't know if you've ever felt that way about like an OG that you looked up to. Nah, you got it, huh? Nah, it's not that.

I think, I like taking advice from whoever, man. Yeah. I do get what you mean though. It's like, yo, I've looked up to this person. I don't want to like risk pissing them off or like being told something that's going to put me off to them. Yeah. But I didn't really start admiring a lot of the comedians out there

until I got a chance to meet them personally. Then I was just like, yo, this dude's actually really cool. This person's super funny and stuff. And then they started kind of helping me out. So I kind of went in neutral. There wasn't anybody who was like, oh, shit, I get to work with this person. I'm only went in neutral. There wasn't anybody who was like, oh, shit, I get to work with this person. I'm only giving me advice.

I just kind of kicked back and was just like, man, whoever I get to work with, I'll work with them. If they kick advice, they kick advice. I'll take it from whoever. I don't know the situation, but my assumption of it is a lot of times when people try to relate to a comedian, they talk about other comedians that are funny. And that's the last thing a comedian wants. Like, don't tell me this other motherfucker's funny. So I'm imagining George is getting a lot of people.

They're trying to curry favor with him going, yo, have you heard about this young guy? You like this young guy? So he's hearing this nonstop, and now he's on his podcast. Another guy's bringing it up, and he's like, yo, what the fuck is going on over here? I'm George. Let's talk about me. Maybe. I do

know like at the beginning of that podcast they were talking about Paul Rodriguez, I think. Oh, yeah. He had like some beef with Paul Rodriguez. I don't know what it was. I think they got into it over a joke. I think they fought at the Laugh Factory. Yeah. And then he was saying how he was how like I think they got into it over a joke. I think they fought at the Laugh Factory. Yeah. And then he was saying how he was, how like, I think people wanted him to like apologize to Paul or for talking shit about Paul.

He was just like, it's like, what are you saying? Like, ah, it's a fucking podcast. Like, just talking shit, man. Yeah. And then, so I don't know. They went on to the subject of like, do you help the younger guys? And George was like, I don't help nobody. Yeah.

And then. He was probably like a little don't help nobody. Yeah. And then... He was probably like a little fired up. Yeah. Yeah. That's one of the reasons that it didn't bug me is because he was already like

proving the like, I don't fucking help people. Like, yeah, fuck him. Fuck. I feel like they could have named anybody and he would have been like, yeah, fuck that guy.

Yeah. I think he also, at one point, if you look, I have heard he's not the most helpful guy, to be fair. I have also heard that.

Three-dimensional about it. But there's also a moment where he looks off camera and asks his homie, like, you heard he's not the most helpful guy to be fair. I have also heard that. Three dimensional about it but there's also a moment where he looks off camera and asks his homie like you heard of this guy? And the guy says no and I think he's laughing at George.

George looks at him and like lifts his eyebrows. Every comic knows we got a guy going off camera. We gotta fucking go. So then he goes I don't know fucking Jeremy Barbasol or whatever it is.

I think he's just trying to make his homie laugh and he's wrapped up in it and he's got the emotion but like I think he just feels like he got a guy laughing. Yeah. Let's build momentum. Yeah. I think he's just trying to make his homie laugh and he's wrapped up in it and he's got the emotion. Yeah. But like, I think he just feels like he got a guy laughing. Yeah.

Let's build momentum. Yeah, I don't think it was, I don't think it was that personal. I think it was very much like a, whoever it could have been. My name is Arbitrary. Is that,

is that how you use that? You really stumbled on it, dude. I almost thought that's what your name was. I was like, yo, Arbitrary.

And also, word could have got back to him. Like you said, people would say at your shows, like, oh, you're next to George Lopez. And you're like, fuck George Lopez. And maybe Word got back to him. And now he's like, oh, Word is young as a poppin', you know? Yo, that is true. But my defense would be the same.

Like, I don't know, I was talking shit. Yeah, it's a show. It don't fucking matter. Yeah. If it's like really get it to anybody, I think they would have told me something personally. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I don't think he's heard about it. I don't think... Have you met comics before? I probably said that once in Detroit or Milwaukee where I was just... They were like, you're the next George Lopez. I was like, man, fuck, George Lopez. They were like, you're the next Paul.

I was like, fuck Paul. Oh, it gets back to them, bro. Yeah? Yeah. There's some guy in Milwaukee writing a letter like, boy, you don't, you're not going to believe what I heard today. And they just hear it, man, and they just get upset. They're sensitive, too. You don't think they are.

You, like, like, I had a fuck, and it's, it, it, I'm glad that you don't look up to them because it doesn't matter as much. But when you admire them and then they let you down like that, that shit, that is, it stays with you. Yeah, it's just, I remember there was, I heard if like Russell Crowe

was like, fuck that Jeremy Barbasol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what the fuck, Gladiator doesn't like me?

That was soft. It hurts way more, brother. It hurts so much. Like, Spaniard hates me? Fuck. Yeah, it's always tricky, man.

I remember Chappelle was on Rogan, and Rogan is the best. He's always trying to give everybody a shout-out and put everybody on. And he was like, yo, you're doing these great shows outside in the barn or whatever. And there's another guy who's doing a lot of great stuff online, this guy Andrew Schultz. He's doing these videos online and turn your phone and he's writing jokes and there's images. And Chappelle just goes, yeah, I don't know about that slideshow shit. I do stand-up comedy. And it was just like, I remember watching like, oof.

That would have hurt. Damn, like I was upset. and like, oof. That would have hurt. Damn, like I was upset. And then I realized that like, it's a probably similar situation where like people around Chappelle thinking they're going to connect with him

by going, hey, have you checked this guy out? He's also funny. And he's a comic. He don't want to hear about that shit. He want to hear about how he's funny. Like I've had friends who just have random shows in New York saying that he'll like bring me up on stage and like, you know, take little shots.

Man. They're, they, you can't, it could be the top of the game. George Lopez, Dave, that he'll bring me up on stage and take little shots. Man. It could be the top of the game. George Lopez, Dave, they'll hold on to shit. That's nuts. Yeah. And the lesson is to not let that happen to you

because there will come a time, you keep going, you're going to be the king, and there's going to be a motherfucker that's going to take your spot to the youth because you're going to be old. You're going to be 46, 56,

and you got to remember, I can't be like that. I got to break that pattern. Everybody's a Benny Blanco until they get Benny Blanco'd. Yeah, exactly. 100%. But right now it's my time so I'll enjoy it. There you go. Okay, so you can't move out of Dallas because you got a kid.

Yeah, I got a four year old. Why don't you, can you move the mom as well? I feel like I got her to move once. From where? So we grew up in Dallas. We live outside of Dallas now. We're out in the country.

And I got her to move out there because there's like a better school district. And I wanted my son to go to school out there. I don't want to go to school with like a bunch of dog-ass beans, you know? Yeah. Better words. I haven't seen anybody take away the ER from that word, but it is.

You put an ER, it's just harsh, man. Yeah, you got to take away the ER. That's all you got to do to make the words expensive. Every profanity, bro, just take out the ER. You call a Mexican a bean? Just the words accepted. Every profanity, bro. Just take off the ER. Did you call a Mexican

a bean? Just once? When you say it, when you say it, it was a lot. Bro, a thug-ass bean is funny, dude.

You could pass as like, like half Mexican, I think. Everybody, I'm Mexican, bro. He's doing a movie role right now. Everybody's always like, like back in Dallas,

because you got fucking fans everywhere. I remember people, when I tell them I do comedy, they'd be like, oh yeah, do you like watching that one. I remember people, when I tell them I do comedy, they'd be like, oh yeah, do you like watching

that one guy? I don't know if he's Mexican, but he could be Mexican. And I'd be like, Andrew Schultz? They're like, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. You could do it.

You could pull it. If anybody's going to say Beaner, it should be you. That's what I'm talking about, man. It should be you. Is Beaner that bad? I don't think so. I don't think it's that bad at all.

Is he invited to the quinceanera or whatever y'all call? I don't think so. I don't think it's that bad at all. Is he invited to the quinceanera or whatever y'all call it? Sala. Yeah. I don't think it's that bad. I don't, like, Webback sounds kind of mean, but even that one's like. That one sounds mean to me, yo. But it's funny, though. It's still funny, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think, I think it's more funny than mean. I think some are more mean than funny and some are more funny than like, yeah. But I got her, I got my son's mom to move out there and I feel like I had one move. I could either got her to move out here or I could have got her

to move out there. But I got that one so I was like, fuck. That money's going to go up and that move is going to be way easier. That'd be cool. Yeah.

When the time comes, I would like to try to move him out here. Yeah? I like New York. New York? Yeah, hell yeah. I can see you in New York.

He has a vibe, this New York. That's why I said. And you move him out here. Yeah? I like New York. New York? Yeah, hell yeah. I can see you in New York. He has a vibe that's New York. That's why I said. And you like stand-up. Yeah. Because there's less here for industry, but it seems like you just want to fucking grind at this stand-up thing. I might be wrong. I might just be talking shit, right?

If this actually ever happened, I might be sad or something. I don be wrong. I might just be talking shit, right? If this actually ever happened, I might be, like, sad or something. I don't know. I really think I'd be fine with, like, going back to just having a day job. I was a barber for a long time. I really think I'd be fine with going back to the barbershop if I could do it out here

and just do stand-up three, four spots a night. You know what I mean? Really? Yeah, I'd be fine, yeah. This is the first week that I haven't made money in a while, and it feels really good. I'm a bum at heart.

I got so much pussy in Dallas because of that. Really? Yeah, I was just a loser. And girls like that in Dallas. Yeah. Is that why you didn't get any pussy out there? Maybe. Maybe.

It was too cool. Maybe that was my issue. I was too successful. Yeah. Really? So explain how the girls give you pussy for bumming it, as you say. Man, I wasn't like killing it, killing it. But I'm living at my grandma's.

Fire. Yeah. You know who else grew up with their grandparents? Lopez. Yo. Yo. He stole that from me, though. Yeah, I don't know.

I just, I work sometimes. And I like to just kind of have fun sometimes. And I think shit happens. But I have friends who like, the minute they got out of jail and they had their ankle monitors, they're on home confinement, they just post that ankle monitor, fucking DMs are flooded. Really? You got an ankle monitor fucking DM's are flooded no really you got an ankle monitor you're stuck at the house

you get more pussy than anybody who can go flex at the club that makes sense though really yeah I think girls want the ratchets

they want to know where a guy is you can't cheat when you got an ankle monitor you know what I mean you're stuck in the house yeah that is actually good

there's a security you get the ankle monitor off it's like this motherfucker out in the streets really yeah my buddy Sal had an ankle monitor and I used to go to it's my phone. Yeah. Out in the streets. Really? Yeah,

my buddy Sal had an ankle monitor and I used to go to his house and cut his hair. He couldn't leave. And every time I'd go, there'd be like a different chick there. Just like rolling up weed for him. It was like some pimp shit. I feel like I was in a music video.

Yeah. It doesn't have to be ankle monitor. You can put a dog collar on there. They'll still show up. Yeah. They can't tell the difference. It's kind of smart, actually. You should sell that.

Dog collar and a pager just fucking on your ankle. It's like super easy. On your ankle. Damn, bro. So should sell that. Y'all calling a pager just fucking on your It's like super easy. on your handle. Damn, bro. So girls in Dallas are giving pussy for a lack of ambition,

you're saying. Yeah. Dude, if you have ambition, it's so corny these days. Yo, facts, bro. I had to hide the fact that I wanted to be a comedian from girls

so that I could get laid. Because once you started telling about your dreams, they were like, I can't suck on dreams. You know what I mean? You got dreams where you're like, I can't suck on dreams. You know what I mean? You got dreams? Were you like,

guys, get out of here. Yeah. Over. Yeah. Now, after bumming it and the girls giving you pussy, were you ever like, curious about why they would do that?

I'm still curious about it to this day. Oak Cliff girls? Oak Cliff girls, Mesquite, Dallas girls in general. I'm still curious about it. I don't know. I don't understand it. But, Dallas girls in general. They're still curious about it. I don't know. I don't understand it,

but I don't need to. I just have to enjoy it. That's right. Don't overthink that shit. That's what we're learning. Yeah. Let's not overthink. No.

Do mushrooms, get AIDS, whatever. You ever fucking grow cowboy boots on? Cowboy boots? Yeah. Nah.

I mean, I got my first pair of cowboy boots like six Cowboy boots? Yeah. Nah. Man, I got my first pair of cowboy boots like six months ago. I wore them once. And I was like, damn. They're not you wearing them. Oh, her wearing them? Yeah. Nah. It'd be cool, though.

Yeah. But nah, no cowboy boots yet. That cowboy culture isn't really hitting in your generation, huh? Nah, it is. Trust me. Oh, really? Yeah. If anybody is going to get more pussy in their bum, it's a dude in some cowboy boots.

Like a Mexican dude, just trucker hat, mullet. Those Mexicans with the mullets, those dudes are out there. Shout out to Dallas Mullet Mexican beans. They're fucking... They got a truck? Bro, you got a truck in Texas. Like, you just said, bro, you don't need a penis. I think we grew up in different Texases, yo.

Everybody had trucks when I was growing up. Everybody had a truck. Yeah. And a lot of motherfuckers were broke. And I don't think they were getting that much pussy to everybody. Dude, if you have a truck and you live at your parents... That's it. You're set.

Pussy waterfall. Did you grow up with money? Yeah. We were, like, rich growing up. No. I swear to God. you grow up with money? Yeah. We were like rich growing up. No. I swear to God, me and Chris were talking about this. Rich and living in Oak Cliff? Well, living in Mesquite.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you started out rough area. I was like, I just went back and forth a couple times. But the house we were in. Hey, let's go from Oak Cliff to Mesquite. I mean like. Hood to like lower middle class. Well, you summer in Mesquite.

Well, the house we were in was like borderline Garland, Mesquite. And we were the first ever like Hispanic people on that whole block. There was us. There was one black family across from us. Everybody else was white. It was like a nice house. That's rich. My uncle bought that house when. There was us. There was one black family across from us. Everybody else was white. It was like a nice house. That's rich. My uncle bought that house

when he was like 18. Yeah, he like hired a realtor. And my uncle, my mom's brother, got my dad into, they were drug dealers. Like sold like all sorts of drugs.

My uncle was like a right hand man for like a cartel in Mexico. Oh shit. Yeah, like we were like spoiled. No matter where we lived, we were always like so taken care of. I had like all the video games. I had like so much clothes.

Like my uncle had a Corvette, a BMW. Like I've been so rich and I've been so poor. And like either way, I'm chilling. Yeah, yeah. I realize that. Yeah. So that's why I'm like if I have money or not, like who cares? You're going to be good. Yeah. I mean, they're not rich anymore. Like I can't. Yeah, yeah. I realize that. Yeah. So that's why I'm like, if I have money or not, like, who cares? You're going to be good.

Yeah. I mean, we're not, they're not rich anymore. Like, I can't just rely on them. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. Glory days are over, right? Yeah. But, like, I don't know.

I'm chilling anyway. I didn't know that. You feel comfortable talking about it? They're cool? Like, some parts. If there's ever anything that I shouldn't say, I'm just not going to say it. All right. Fair enough.

The money came in. It was flush. Were you worried about anybody getting taken out? Nah, because I didn't even, bro, I was, like, oblivious. I was, like going to say it. Alright, fair enough. The money came in, it was flush. Were you worried about anybody getting taken out? Nah, because I didn't even, bro, I was like oblivious. I was like a dumb kid. Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm like 15, 16 years old. Did you guys ever watch The Sopranos? Yeah. You remember like first season

was like Meryl's telling her little brother like, and AJ, yeah. Yeah, she said to AJ like, our dad's in the mafia, dumbass. That's how like my cousins were like telling me, and I was just like, nah. They're like, who around us has a job? I was just like, oh shit.

I never thought about it. Did the neighborhood know? Nah. Not at all. So there wasn't any judgment from the neighbors? They were like, yeah, they're drug dealers. Don't let them play with the kids. Nah, nothing. They had no dealers. Don't let them play with the kids. Wow. Nothing. They had no idea.

They thought, like, my grandpa had, like, a job in doing, like, sheetrock and stuff. He's probably the one guy in our whole family who had, like, a job, yeah? So everybody's just like, oh, he probably just runs, like, a sheetrock business, I guess. Wow. Yeah. How did your family end up telling you? Or is there ever a discussion about it? There was

once I was like 16 or something like that. I just started asking them about it a little bit here and there. My dad one time confessed it to me when he had quit. He got out of that. He got out of that and then four years after he had quit, he was running different businesses he'd run. He had a

body shop and a painting. They used like a body shop and like a painting. Like he used to go paint like apartments and buildings and stuff. Yeah. And one day, like four years after he had quit, he was like running a job site and like agents, federal agents just showed up and were like, yo, you're under arrest. So he had already told me before that. And I had like

questions here and there, but I also didn't, I didn't want like, that's their life. I didn't want to get too much into it, you know what I mean? Yeah. But wild experience. Yeah. Well, I'm telling you, we lived like kings. So,

was it worth it? I asked my dad that, and I've asked my uncle that, because they, they went to the feds. They've done their time, but it was like, it wasn't like behind bars.

It was like prison camp. They went to the country club. Minimum security or whatever. Yeah, because they had no records. They've done their time. But it was like, it wasn't like behind bars. It was like prison camp. They went to the country club. Minimum security or whatever. Yeah. Because they had no records. They had no like violent records. But did they flip? Did they? I don't think so. They told me no. I'm not, like I said, I still don't ask them shit. And the cartel would probably handle that if they did.

Yeah. The fact that they're walking around is... I do remember when my uncle was on trial, him telling, like I asked him a little bit about it. Because, like, I'm curious, but I'm also, like... Scared, probably. Very... No, it's just that, like, they never talked about it to anybody.

Yeah. So I just, I did not want to... It's kind of like what you said, when you look at the comedians you look up to, you don't want a fanboy, and then they be, like, fucking crush your dreams. Yeah. I didn't want to feel like I was disrespecting my uncle or my dad or any of the serious shit they had going on by being like

do you know al capone like it's a stupid ass question you know i'm like but i'm just grateful they gave me a fucking badass life i'm grateful they're alive like i don't i don't know what their business is i don't know how like i know my uncle would be stressed a lot you know i mean i did ask him like one time and i just remember him saying that, like, his bosses in Mexico were, like, thinking of prison in America as, like, a joy. Like, don't do that. Like, just come down here. Like, retire down here. Like, we'll build you a Cabo.

Like, but my uncle was just like, nah. Because he had his whole family here, and he didn't want to leave the family. He didn't want to force the family. I don't think he really cared too much about all that. He's like a family man, but he's not like this, like, come home and kiss your kid on the forehead. He's just like had a son here, a son there. He'll spend time with him, but he's not like—he's like a single—he's like a bachelor life type dude. Yeah.

But, nah, I think he just felt like—I think he just felt like, fuck it. Like, I made my bed. I'll lay in it, handle up, you know what I mean? Right. And so yeah, I think the shit they were doing, if they would have flipped, there would have been definitely consequences,

you know what I mean? To Andrew's earlier point, do you think that's where you kind of got this, I'm assuming in your family there's this idea like, look, whatever happens tomorrow, we can't really worry about that because tomorrow everything could go, we could be killed, we could be in jail. Yeah, I guess so. So let's just worry about today. Because tomorrow, everything could go. We could be killed. We could be in jail.

Yeah, I guess so. So let's just worry about today. Who cares about tomorrow? Do you think that was passed on to you? Maybe not. I don't think anything of them was passed on to me. You don't understand. Like, in my family, I'm like the Corky Romano, Brother Fredo, like, dumbass.

Like, the fact that comedy is working out for me now, now they're just like, yo, good job, Ralphie. But, like, for the longest, they're just like, good job ralphie but like for the longest they're just like fucking moral i don't think they i'm the one guy in my family who like finished high school and they're just like he's a pussy like so everybody else was you know family business or involved kind of thing those younger like my like my cousin carlos he's like an older brother to me right me and him were like the spoiled, like my cousin Carlos got into his fair share of trouble, but he was more like thug.

When you think of a thug, you think about this dude like tattoos and shit. Our parents were more like, you know, they looked like they operated a cell phone store, looked like manager of a store.

You know what I mean? They were very like, don't look like an idiot. What's the matter with you? But we were like, we were like spoiled, man we're like the the son from john wick the first one remember where he's just like you stole john wick's car you little moron like we're like the little dumbasses who were like yeah yeah our parents um but i like my cousin carlos got into his fair share of stuff and you know a little relative here there maybe got into

other shit with them. Never on their level, but something. But I never touched any of that. But you were observing it all. I'm observing it. But I also knew very much, like, that's not me at all. But you're chilling. You're taking it all in.

I mean, because I've watched a lot of your stuff. Like, I think the first time your comedy came up, it was like maybe a Don't Tell Comedy clip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. first time your, your, your comedy came up, it was like maybe a don't tell comedy clip. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And here's, here's actually interesting connection is like that. Seeing that it was really funny clip. And then I saw a bunch of other stuff come up from you. And it was in that moment that I realized that like, don't tell comedy is the new comedy central. Whereas like you can find young new comics.

This was back in Comedy Central, like early my days when it was this platform that could showcase young people. And I was like, oh, it's transitioned to YouTube and a guy like Ralph and there's other people can start their clips go viral and then all of a sudden there's this interest. And I was like, oh wow, something is happening over here.

But I remember watching a bunch of your stuff and even like talking to you now, the kind of energy I'm getting is like, you were around some very interesting things, and I imagine you were kind of chilling in the cut, taking all of it in, and it's all kind of swirling around. And then when you took your shots,

obviously you have your lines. I imagine you've been funny your whole life. But, no? Sometimes, I guess. But not funny in terms of like, I need to jump on top of a table and everybody look at me. Nah, no? Sometimes, I guess. But not funny in terms of like, I need to jump on top of a table and everybody look at me. Nah, yeah, I don't know.

I think like half the rooms I was in, I was like the clown, and then the other half, I was like, I'm going to keep my head down and not say a word. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's really interesting

to see like, fuck, Ralph, what a life, man. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, I'm only here because I'm a loser in my world. Drill, drug dealer? Yeah. Ralph can't deal no drugs.

Yeah, but that's what kept you alive, though. Yeah. I'm telling you, like. Maybe that's why you also embrace being a loser, because it's like, that's what kept me alive is being the loser of the family, not getting in any of that. I don't know what kept me alive, but it kept me out of trouble. That could be an interesting one. Maybe you have, like, supremely high emotional IQ, and you're like, if I let these motherfuckers know how smart I am, they're going to make me take over the family business,

so I've got to be a dumbass. Bro, you've got to make that movie, like, a Godfather spinoff where you're afraid of. Yeah, bros will probably fuck me because you're from a family that runs Mexico. You know what I mean? No, but you're watching Godfather, and you're seeing Fredo be a dumbass, and them give him no responsibility, and you're like, he's on to something. Yeah, like, my uncle got kind of sick. He ended up, like, in the hospital around Christmas time.

Okay. And a lot of my family had to drive. He was taking a trip back from Mexico. Because he's, like, a free man now, right? He's just, like, whatever. He's visiting family in Mexico. He hadn't seen her in a lot of years, and he's coming back, and he ended up in the hospital. So we had to drive down to like South Texas,

like to the border almost, well, to the border and like be there. But I remember it seemed like a lot of my family could not afford to be there for that many days because he was in the ICU for like two weeks or something. Oh, shit. And so like, I do remember this is like around the first time I'm having money.

So I spent a lot of money making sure that they could all be in hotels to be there with them. And I did kind of feel like a Michael, like, it's all right, Pop. You know what I mean? Like, I want to take care of it, Pop. You know what I mean? It seems like right when you're having success with something, you're like, I should not do this. In the beginning of the pod, you're like, I want to be a barber again.

But it is funny that you think girls of the pod, you're like, I want to be a barber again. A pain in the ass. But it is funny that you think girls are fucking you because you're a loser and they're actually fucking you because your family

is royalty. You're Prince Harry of the cartel and you're like, oh, no. He had sneakers, he had clothes. He had flexing.

You were judging an entire gender. No, no, no, but you don't understand when I'm 18 and they're He had like, you were younger than an entire gender. No, no, no, but you don't understand. When I'm 18 and they're gone, like, they didn't leave money for me.

They're not like, hey. But the girls don't know. These Mexican sex slaves think they have to have sex with you. Nobody like bought me a car. Like, I'm spoiled, but I'm still like my own man to them.

So they're like, fucking earn your own butt. Yeah, yeah, handle your shit. Do your shit, yeah. But you got the names on the same. When you were a kid. Yeah, when I was a kid. So they're like, fucking earn your own buck. Yeah, yeah, handle your shit. Do your shit, yeah. Yeah, but you got the names on the sand. When you were a kid. Yeah, when I was a kid,

they were just like, here's everything. Yeah, yeah. And then from one day to another, they're like, you should have earned it all on your own, dumbass. So I had all sorts of different jobs.

But it's true what you're saying. Once I started reaching some shit in a job, I would leave. I was painting cars for a long time. My dad ran a body shop. His younger brother, my uncle, worked there for years and taught himself how to paint and shit. a job like I would I would leave I was painting cars for a long time my dad ran a body shop his younger brother my uncle worked there for like years and like learned taught himself how to paint and shit and he taught me and once I got a job I ended up getting a job at somebody else's

body shop I was I was in school to get certified and that guy got me like an early certification with some other company and he like made me like the painter there which is kind of hard to do like you have to like do it for years and that was by this time I'm like 20 I had done open mics on and off for like a while but I went back to the open mics and then I was just like I'm gonna stick to this instead and I like I quit painting like I just I went and got a job delivering pizzas so that I could be able to go to open mics like right after work yeah but I was just like I was making really good money Yeah. But I was just like, I was making really good money doing that.

And I was just like, nah, I should deliver pizzas. It's a comedy. Nah, you love this comedy shit, man. Yeah, I always loved it a lot. You can tell. You love this comedy shit. I love it a lot.

I love it a lot. You remember the first person you saw do stand-up? George Lopez. Imagine. Live? Not live. Video.

Yeah, just the first person. Dave Chappelle. Really? Not live. Video. Just the first person. Dave Chappelle. Really? Yeah, Dave Chappelle. For what it's worth? Killing them softly. Killing them softly. But I didn't know.

I didn't get what was going on. I didn't really get what stand-up was. I was just a Chappelle Show fan. My uncle, who I'm telling you, he's a fucking huge comedy fan. He loves comedy, yeah. So he always had the Chappelle show on DVD. Yeah.

And he like left one at my grandma's house one time. And I was like, I don't know, man, like nine or something. So I started watching it. You know, it was fun. I was like bringing all my friends over to watch Chappelle's show and shit. And Rick James, all that shit. Brilliant. Like every fucking sketch.

It was just like whack Arnold's. We were quoting the shit at school. Yeah, yeah. And then one day flipping through the channels on Comedy Central, because sometimes I'd catch it on TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One day he came on and I was just like, oh shit, Chappelle show.

But we just kept talking. And I was just like, yo, when's he going to do skits? What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I just kept watching it and I was just like, oh shit, it's just like stand-up comedy. And I've seen it here and there, like on movies or whatever. watching it and I was just like, oh shit, it's just like stand-up comedy.

And I've seen it here and there like on movies or whatever, but I'm just like, oh shit, he's a stand-up comedian. Then I got it. You know what I mean? But yeah,

I was probably the first ever person I ever saw doing stand-up. And when you watch, I mean, Kill Himself, it was so fucking good, but when you watch him do stand-up,

you understand why the sketch was so successful because he builds the sketches in the stand-up. Baby on the Corner is a sketch. Right? Yeah. You know, it's just like, I remember seeing the sketch show

and being like, oh, wow, you're just adding color to these already brilliant ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I definitely felt that. Like the, I think one of the first sketches I saw on Chappelle's show

was the everything's better in slow motion. So that one, I don't know how I delivered that on stage, right? But I think that was like the perfect sketch. Like they did like the three versions,

the one there in the laundromat and the fucking, the detergent cone squirting out, the club shit. That shit had me, I'm like nine years old, like crying. Yeah, yeah.

Right there. But once I saw him, once I'd watched like the four episodes and see him kind of introduce the skit with a little bit of standup. Yeah. Yeah, it kind of like clicks where I'm just like,

yo, each sketch is like a bit that you could perfectly do on stage. Yeah. But, yeah, that show right there. Who was yours? The first person was I listened to Eddie Murphy on cassette with my dad. Man, your dad was a stand-up fan? Yeah, he loved stand-up.

Like him and his friends would listen to Pryor on a record at a party. That was like a common thing to do. You just like have it going on a party like music. You close with your dad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, but like for me, then obviously, then Chris Rock, I think was like the first person

when I was maybe in my teens where I was like, oh, this guy kind of thinks in this counterintuitive way and he like makes these really cool arguments for things that shouldn't be argued for and I really like that. I remember Bring the Pain being like,

oh, this is what stand-up is. And then Patrice. Patrice was the best I ever saw. For me, my top two is Chappelle and then Patrice. For me,

Chappelle is obviously up there. He's brilliant, but seeing Patrice live. I wish I could have seen that. It was so, we were at the Elephant in the Room taping, but like we saw him also just like at clubs. But like seeing him live, it was just like the most pure form of it. Like you ever like, you ever on stage and like,

like you'll have like glimpses of like, you have glimpses of the best version of yourself doing standup. You know, like it could be a joke or it could be like a reaction or it could be like, like holding tension. Like you hold tension really well. And it's just like, like holding the breath of the room. You can almost like feel the room breathe. Do you know what I'm saying? Like you getting everybody on the same page and it's just like, it was that. It was like, this guy's holding a room and they're just waiting. And people are furious, but they're not leaving.

And people are really excited. People are looking like couples are almost fighting. And it was just like, there was so much going on in the room. You know, it was like this organized chaos. And he's got them all right there. Bro. That's badass. Bro, I mean, and then just this, like, even like he, he'd have the most profound shit, but also, like, the silliest thing.

Like, I remember him telling this fucking, this guy was eating chicken. Oh, yeah, eating all the meat off the bone. And it was like, and you've heard the thing about, like, you know, black people eat chicken, all the thing. And he said this, he was like, man, we even eat the part of the chicken that ain't even chicken. You know, that little part that's like, it ain't bone, it ain't chicken. And he's like, I forget, it's like Lego. Or he had some reference for it and it was just like, I don't know, the guy

was fucking special, man. Yeah, I'm always curious about guys early, who are those people that decide what comedy is for you? Because we see comedy all the time. You watch movies and then something hits you and you're like, oh, fuck. This can work.

You know? Yeah, the holding tension. I think that's another reason why your stuff works so well online. Because there are certain guys that are great live, but they don't

translate through that. Have you ever experienced a comic like that? Yeah, yeah. I see guys who, like, I can't even get into their clips very much. Or, like, their social media is just not growing. They're not on it enough. Their clips just aren't engaging. But I've seen them in person.

And murder. And I'm like, bro, I wish I could do that. I would give up social media presence if I could be as good as you on stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shit just, yeah. I see that a lot. But yeah, yeah. You're, I think you're one of the comedians that kind of capitalized on like the internet like firsthand.

People were just like, whoa, shit, you fucking, off of YouTube just blew it up. I think it was like your, what was it, like 441? Yeah, yeah. That thing started it off. I think it kicked it off, and it made everybody fucking want to be like, yo, yo, get on it, get on it. And like, I didn't want to for the longest.

Like, I hated Instagram. I still fucking hate TikTok big time, like Instagram and shit. Like, I just turn off my notifications. But once I did the don't tell taping, I knew that it'd get some eyes on my page. So I was just like, all right, now I'm a little more motivated

to start posting more and figure out how I can get my page. But I feel like you can't follow the same fucking method that everybody, everybody's like, you just post once a week, you do this, do this. Find your own, yeah.

You gotta find your own beat to it your own rhythm or whatever so I just kind of waited till that thing came I waited for like a month I waited till it was

about a month before that and then I just stockpiled as many clips as I could figured it out but I had to figure it I had to like go through it and shit

but I definitely think if it wasn't for social media YouTube I wouldn't be like on a tour right now at all yeah maybe it'd be different but at least you got more control of it yeah you know what i mean

like i think the talented people rise i think the cool thing about the internet is that it allows the talented people to be seen quicker yeah unless the people choose exactly yeah i do like that a lot there's very few people like i think about like when i talk to comics because there are a lot of comics especially like the older ones like oh i oh, I don't want to pose, I don't want to pose, everybody's posing. It's just like, the people that I know that have blown up from the internet are way funnier than the people that I know that are successful from traditional. There's very few people that I know that have really hit. I'm not talking about people who had a clip or two go viral. I'm talking about they're selling out clubs or selling out theaters.

They're funny. And there are people that like have had maybe traditional specials that I think a lot of us can be like, yeah, they ain't the funniest. And it's because the people aren't really decided. There's also a little bit more of that raw feeling. Like the rawest is going to get is live standup.

That's fucking raw. But it's closer to raw when you see it on Instagram or on YouTube than a fucking edited special and everything. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if it is like an edited special, even when they just get that but fucking put it on YouTube, it just feels way cooler than to get on Netflix or get on the Showtime app.

Like, there it is. It's just like, nah, I just want to click on the video. It's like, oh, shit. You know what I mean? It's also like they're discovering you. Like, I remember seeing a video and then seeing you in a video and I'm like, oh God, this guy's funny. And then I remember seeing a lot of other

clips come up and I was like, oh, it's happening. And I've been through it so I see it with different guys. And I'm like, oh, it's happening for him. This is really cool to see. And I get excited when the people choose someone that they like that's also funny. And yeah, there's like a cool justice in that. Yeah, I very much feel like Spaniard right now in Gladiator.

See what I'm saying? See what I'm saying? The people's champ, man. People's champ. Yeah, yeah. I am amazing. No, I'm kidding. The people's champ, man.

People's champ. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I am amazing. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, it is a... Yeah, stand-up's the fucking best in that way. And was the most frustrating for the same reason before. You know?

It is like... It is dope, though. I remember the first time I came to New York. I hate watching comedy shows that I'm not on. Yeah, yeah. It's painful. Yeah, you get it, right? Yeah, though. Like, I remember the first time I came to New York. I hate, like, I hate watching comedy shows that I'm not on. Yeah, yeah. It's painful. Yeah, you get it, right? You want to do that, too.

But I remember thinking, like, I have to watch a show at the Cellar. Like, that's meant to me like the dream crew. Like, I would like, you know what I mean? So I'm like, I have to go watch there. And I remember seeing dudes. Like, I saw, wasn't it Greer Barnes? Oh, dude. Yeah, unreal. there and I remember seeing dudes like I saw uh wasn't it Greer Barnes oh yeah unreal and and seeing him and like I had seen him maybe twice on YouTube when that's it that's all there is of him

on there you know I mean and I remember seeing like that longer set and just thinking like yo like it is so badass that this is where I have to see you this is the only place I can see you just fucking like masterful stand-up. And then there was a couple other comics like that who I had never seen before. I learned about them there, like watching them. I'm just like,

I don't, you know, I'm looking them up afterwards and the less I find of them on the internet, the more I'm like, that was badass. Like that was badass. I bet you, I don't know,

I mean, who knows, right? But I think that's when I first started thinking like man if i could live in new york like i wouldn't even care if i could never be famous just the fact that i could come out here and just like get really good make a living doing stand-up you can do the clubs and make a living and just nobody even knows who you are that would be badass yeah that's that's to me is like the ultimate dream like i don't like i've never before this little tour started, I'd never been recognized. And, like, it started happening. And, like, 99% of the people who could, like, approach me or, like, recognize me or whatever are, like, nice or whatever.

Yeah. But there does come moments where you're just like, yo, leave me alone, dude. Like, I followed into a restroom and a dude waited for me to come out the stall and shit. Like, it's fucking weird. And when those moments happen, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I'm like, I should have been at clubs where nobody knows me, but I'm still getting paid. That would be the dream to me. Why don't you want to affect people in that way?

Or do you not want the reaction of that? I don't know. For a long time, I was an only child. I have siblings or whatever. They're way younger than me, though. So maybe that's reaction of that. I don't know. For a long time, I was an only child. I have siblings or whatever. They're way younger than me though. So maybe that's one of it. I'm just kind of like socially like, when I'm expecting to be alone, I'm really comfortable in the alone. And then when somebody kind of snaps me out of it, like, yo. I also grew up in big shit talking environments. Like I grew up at the barbershop where it's just, it's not even funny anymore. It's just shit talking, shit talking. You know what I mean?

My family's like that. I'm telling you, I was like the dumbass of the family. They're like always shitting on me. So when somebody comes up to you

and just like, just like really nice and like they compliment you. You don't know how to handle it. Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing right now?

Yeah, like I'm very like, I'm looking behind me to see who's gonna fucking stab me. Like they're distracting me because somebody's gonna fucking rob me. That's what's like

in my head. I mean, we grew up in New York, but I to fucking rob me. That's what's in my head. I mean, we grew up in New York, but I imagine a similar situation. It's like anytime someone's nice to us, they're trying to get money from us. Yeah. So initially, I was very concerned as well. Even when people looked at me, I remember when I was first on TV and people looked for me across the street. In my mind, it's like the staring, it's like the Mad Dog contest.

So I'd be like, what's up? And they'd be like, aren't you on MTV? I'd be like, oh, okay, yeah. There's an adjustment period. I thought this guy wants to fight me. Yesterday, Mark comes up to me. He gives me a copy. He's like, yo, you looking good.

I was like, yo, shut the fuck up. Immediately. Fucking dude yesterday in Queens rolled the window down. I was like, yo, you that guy, right? But as soon as I seen him slowing down and rolling down the window, I'm like, yo. Cartel is back. Yeah, so it takes a little bit to adjust. But I will say there's a—do you fuck with Norm at all?

I feel like you would fuck with Norm. Norm MacDonald. Yeah, I'm like a huge Norm MacDonald fan. Yeah, Norm is great. Yeah, that dude is fucking badass. He had that set. I think this is the set that made me like,

when I started doing comedy, my first two goals, ultimate goals, was like, I want to do Late Night and I want to get in at the Cellar, right? Yeah.

I was like 18 or something and I'm just looking up stand-up comics and stuff and trying to get more into it and I saw his set. That was like the last set he did on Letterman. Yeah.

On Letterman. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, yo, that's what joke writing is right there. He did that joke about I.D. He's like, I stands for I and D stands for identification.

It's just funny as fuck. So yeah, Norm Macdonald's like fucking badass. Yeah, he's great. He had an excerpt in his book where he was talking about because I think a lot of people do feel uncomfortable with some level of fame and some level of maybe appreciation. And he had an interesting perspective on it. He was like, I get the best version of people.

And for the majority of my life, I've been famous. And when people meet me, they're happy. They're on their best behavior. They're excited. And most people, when they get to meet strangers, they're in a shitty mood. They're cursing, they're upset. And I remember him saying that, and I was like, whoa, dude, I got to... I didn't even think about that.

Right? Yeah, I didn't think about that at all. And, like, how fortunate... I feel like a spoiled little bitch now. It's also funny, though, that, like, all the good things that happen in a stand-up is all the things you don't want to happen to if you're involved in drug dealing. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, like, getting recognized, making a ton of money, happening in stand-up is all the things you don't want to happen to if you're involved in drug dealing. You know what I mean?

So like, getting recognized, making a ton of money, walking around with a ton of money, like being too flashy, having jewelry, like people knowing who you are.

Oh, that's true. So you're probably almost like raised to be like, yo, low profile, low profile. Strangers are walking up to you like,

are you that guy? If you're a drug dealer, that's the worst fucking thing. If you get too successful as a drug dealer, you get arrested. Yeah. You know what I mean?

You can't go too high. You're literally treating it like drug dealing. You're like, you get arrested. Yeah. I mean, you can't go too high. You're literally treating it like drug dealing. You're like, I need a fake job. I'm a barber. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're making legal money, bro. I go into a club late at night, sling some jokes. I'm just like, yo, chill here.

Let me leave before you guys leave. Bro, he's a drug dealer. I'm telling you. You really are. Yeah, it does feel like I'm not supposed to be enjoying shit, but. Yeah, you're a joke dealer. Yeah, a little bit, yeah. Yeah, but you will be able to enjoy it.

Yeah, I think you should read that Norm book, man, or check that out. He has some really interesting perspective. I'll check it out. Yeah, it is a weird thing. You read a lot of books? No. Can I be honest with you? I just read that little part.

I didn't read the whole book. I just read the last paragraph. I've read chapters out of different books. I can tell you a lot of things about, like, a little bit about a lot of things. Does that make sense? But yeah, I just read little chapters here and there. Yeah, yeah. Ralph Barbosa, before we wrap this up up I want the people to go

obviously check out your stuff and I know that you would probably be the last person to do any self promotion even though you do post clips nah I'll do some self promoting is there a piece of comedy that you would tell them to go watch

I think a lot of times people just go, yo, watch my stuff. But there's so much stuff and you don't know. But is there something that you're like, yo, I think this captures me well? Yeah. I think the 20 minutes I did with the Entree Knows HBO, that one, if you go on HBO, look up, fucking name, man. Ralph Barbo. Yeah, R-A-L.

That's my name. Ralph Barbo. I was trying to think of the name of it. You thought it was arbitrary? No, no, no. Ralph Barbosa. Yeah, R-A-L. Yeah, that's my name. Ralph Barbosa. I was trying to think of the name. You thought it was arbitrary? No, no, no. It's not arbitrary. Ralph Barbosa. Jeremy Barbasaw.

Nah, yeah, like entre no. I wonder if that works, though. If you go on HBO and you look up my name, will the thing come up? Or do you have to look up the name of the special? No, I bet you can type

your shit on there. Name order. But also, I think that set might also be on YouTube, too. Somebody might have ripped it and put it on YouTube. Somebody should rip it, put it on YouTube, check it out. I should have ripped it.

Go check out Entree Notes, check out Ralph Barbosa. Follow me on Instagram. Yeah. What's the Instagram? Ralph Barbosa 03. It used to be Sweet Baby Ralph. What happened? I don't know. I let people get in my head about changing it. Ah.

Yeah. What are you going to do? But also... Change it back. You can always... People were... What is the 03 also? My son was born on the 3rd.

Ah, okay. So I was just like 03. Yeah. But when I was... He was born in 2003 or on the 3rd? No, no, no, on the 3rd of like January. Why not just three? I don't know.

Oh, three, just zeros. Zeros are cool, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would have, he's a liberal. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to chill with this libtard shit, bro. Fucking Joe Biden-ass questions. Okay, so.

Yeah, I don't know. Whenever I'd be like at the end of a show, I'd be like, yo, follow me on Instagram, sweet baby Ralph. People were like, how are you spelling baby?

Like, how are you spelling sweet? So I was just like, you know what? Just look up Ralph Barbosa. Yeah. It's fine. But yeah, Ralph Barbosa,

03, bye. Ralph Barbosa, 03. Bye. Ralph Barbosa, everybody. Give it up. Hey. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because, listen, hard dicks are not going anywhere. I know you just blew your shorty's top off for Valentine's, but we don't let the foot off the gas. That's right.

For the rest of the month of February, you've got to keep on slapping cheeks. And the way that you're going to do that to the best of your ability to satisfy your girl, your side chick, your ex-wife, whoever is with the chew. Blue chew, okay? Same active ingredients inside Cialis, Cialis, or Viagra, whatever. Who gives a fuck? This is the chewiest one we rock with, okay? And you're going to get it for free. That's right.

First month free. All you got to do is pay $5 shipping. Go to bluechew.com. Use the promo code FLAGRANT. That's the best dick of your life. You are welcome. Now let's get back to the show. We have a conspiracy for the ages.

Multiple conspiracies for the ages, okay? That's the lighting I need. That's the... Which one do y'all want to start with? Do y'all want to start with Twitter or do you want to start with the UFC? Oh, fuck. You decide.

We can go Twitter. We can go Twitter. You want to go Twitter? Yeah. Apparently, Elon didn't like how many retweets his tweet got or likes his tweet got. Joe Biden was burying Elon

during the Super Bowl. And you know what he did? He's like, engineers, I need you to find a way to boost up my tweets if they're not doing well. That's embarrassing.

Is it? That's some bitch boy shit if you tell me. Is it? Is it though? Or did he pay $44 billion for a motherfucking social media platform

and he should be able to boost whatever fuck he wants? Imagine you bought a house and you can't do nothing special in it. Yeah, but you can't talk all this shit about censorship and free speech.

You own the house, Al! You gotta sway me. But don't let that leak, though. Don't let that leak, bro. It's because he's got these fucking lib cucks working at Twitter and he didn't weed them all out.

These liberal cucks. You think maybe they made up the story to make Elon look bad? Oh, are we conspiracy-ing on top of conspiracy? Yeah, did we start with conspiracy? Why stop on conspiracy? Okay, go, go, go. I'll listen. First of all, I think if it's all about free speech

and not censoring, you gotta let that shit rock. But also, if you see Biden's thing outperforming Elon's... What was Biden's tweet? We need to see that first. It couldn't have been good. Probably madness dispelling. That was just him talking. I thought you were speaking in archives.

But I need to know the tweets. I need to compare them. But keep going. So maybe, first of all, Elon maybe did have a meeting like, hey, you guys need to do X, Y, and Z. And they didn't want to be there on fucking Super Bowl Sunday or the Monday morning after the Super Bowl. And they're like, you know what we're going to say? We're going to say this meeting was because Elon

wants to boost his own specific Twitter and defy all the rules he said he was laying down when he bought it. Did he ever say that though? They don't like working for him. He basically said like,

we shouldn't censor, we should have free speech. This is in its own way censorship. He's not censoring, he's not having free speech. He's making sure his speech is a little bit more free. Yeah, that's not free to me.

But also, also he's got Jill Biden walking caked up. No disrespect, obviously, to the Presidente, but everything better in slow-mo. But if you met her, would you give her a little smooch or what? Listen, I'm not going to disrespect the... Why the disrespect? Well, you didn't know what I was going to say, did you?

I'm not going to disrespect the First Lady by not laying it on the lips if that's what she wants. Gang gang. You know what I'm saying? If the First Lady comes to me, she's from a different time, bro. It's a different generation. She's into it. Back in the day, you used to kiss people on the lips. I saw my, she's from a different time, bro. It's a different generation. She's into it. Back in the day, you used to kiss people on the lips. I saw my mom do that with a guy once.

What? That's weird. Who was the guy? I was upset. You fought him? I didn't fight him. I was too young. But she was doing a dance.

It was a choreographed dance. There was a kiss at the end of the dance. I'm asking my dad. I swear to God. I'm like, why y'all subjecting me to this? Your dad should have burned that whole place down, son. There's no more dancing. It was his place.

No, just burn it down. Burn it down, right? I was like, yo, you good with that? We gonna swing on this motherfucker? Yes. After he just swung on my motherfucker. No, but like, is this good? They were swinging.

No, but for real, like, what the hell's going on? They're like, oh, it's the choreography. I'm like, how necessary was that? Not necessary. At all. They were swing dancing. Swing dance. They didn't have CGI at the time.

CGI was not a thing. No CGI. Just planted lips on my mom. My mom got some big lips. Okay. Honestly, all respect to my mom. Al, you said it was not crazier than what he said.

All respect to my mom. All respect, because I love my mom more than anything, but the lips aren't the biggest things on her. He might have missed. You know what I mean? He might have thought it was cheek. Okay. That's what I was saying.

We could say that. We could look at it. And I wish that they told me that instead of, yeah, that that was an intentional part of the fucking choreography. But then you would have got deducted points for missing the choreography. You know what I mean? You want to get the 10.0 rating. We can't be missing choreographed moves.

That is a good ass point. Your mom's a winner, bro. She's a winner. My mom's a winner. This is why Hunter's a crackhead. What? This is why Joe Biden's kid's a crackhead. Because his mom's smooching everyone?

You can't look at your mom tonguing down everybody. There's no tongue. At a family gathering. It was a peck. There's family gathering. It was a peck. There was no tongue. It's a peck now, but back in the day, you don't know what it was.

You think they got more conservatives. Sucking lips. Okay. Hell yeah. That's traumatizing. That is fucking traumatizing. Look at Jaden Smith. He's crying now

because his mom's just going around kissing everybody. Everybody. That's what did it to him. I hope he don't get on the crap. Sure, I hope not. I hope he don't get on the crap. We got to protect Jaden.

At all costs. At alladen. At all costs. At all costs. At all costs. All I'm trying to say is, what the fuck were we talking about? We're talking about Twitter. Oh, yeah.

If Elon Musk, what's the point of owning some shit you can't do what you want with it? That's what I'm saying. He's not the president. He's just like,

yo, make my shit the first thing you see, which is completely reasonable. Tom was your first friend on Facebook or on MySpace. That's right. No one was like, yo, make my shit the first thing you see. Which is completely reasonable. Tom was your first friend on Facebook. That's right. No one was like, oh, this guy's making friends with everyone. Also, it's not like he was publicly appointed. He bought the shit. It's his. We're lucky we get to be on it.

Literally. If you don't want us on it, we don't have to be. I don't know about that. We're lucky. We need to say thank you. Do you think about this with your apartment? Maybe. Keep going. Are you like, man, I'm so lucky the landlord doesn't let me pay to be here? Have you tried to get an apartment in New York City? Yes, I have.

Have you seen the anxiety? The shifty's messaging me at three in the fucking morning like, listen, there's a shoebox off fucking Canal Street with three rats in it. It's going for $3,500. Maybe I can go look at it. I need to get an appointment to observe it. So to answer your question,

I don't really remember what it was. That's cool. This Celsius is crazy. How are you not? Celsius gets you all the excitement and energy with none of the retention. Let's get a sponsorship. That shit is fire.

I don't need this in my life. I do. Talk to me. What are you trying to forget, man? That shit woke me up. Are you going through something? Why are you trying to forget? I said woke me up. Are you going through something? Why are you trying to forget everything?

I mean, you know, trauma. Yeah, trauma. My mom be kissing niggas. No, that is something that you said didn't happen to you. You said your mom wasn't dating.

He doesn't remember. You did lock it up. Enough Celsius as you forget anything. But isn't that nice that even though your mom was single that she just wasn't

getting her cheeks rinsed through your whole time? Come on. You caught it. Come on, B. He said he did it. I she just wasn't getting her cheeks rinsed through your whole closet? Come on. I said she wasn't. Just can't put those words in the same sentence as my mom. Even if it's good. Do you want him to say she did? No, I would never say she did because that's not true.

What I'm saying is she did not get fucking snowplowed every winter. I don't see what's wrong with this at all. I don't see what's wrong with this at all. She did not. My mom's getting pecked up. Whoa, she did not. My mom's getting pecked up. Whoa, whoa, whoa. My mom's getting pecked up. See, peck sounds nice.

Slightly, slightly. Like, that's a little crazy. But that didn't happen to your mom. No, say what didn't happen to his mom. Let's see how he takes it. His mom didn't get the battering ram. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The British are coming.

Don't disrespect my dad. The British are coming. Don't disrespect my dad. No, no, no, that's right. Your dad did it twice. Bare men's. At least. Bare men's. At least. Bare men's.

At least. Twice. At least. Al's mom wasn't getting dick punched in her forehead. Yo! Son. That is a true, factual thing. Factually.

No, she wasn't getting nothing. She had too much respect for herself to do that, Al. Mom, I'm sorry, Mom. Yo. I'm sorry. No, she wasn't. She was not. She respected you and herself too much. Y'all got to chill that. Mom, I'm sorry, Mom. Yo. I'm sorry. No, she wasn't. She was not. She respected you and herself too much.

I got chill. Yo, you got chill. You got chill. You know what I mean? What did I say? All I know is that wasn't happening to your mom. I can't even say it. That was so crazy.

You know what? What was happening to Mark's mom? Because you need some smoke too, bro. I have no mom. I don't even have a mom. I'm an orphan. Nine kids, dude. I'm an orphan, bro.

No, no, no. Your mom was obviously raising a family. She was. Okay? And she wasn't getting stretched out like Gumby. She wasn't. That wasn't happening. That was not happening.

That definitely was not happening. Actually, that's right. That was not happening. That wasn't happening. There was no Stretch Armstrong going on over there. Nothing at all. Nothing at all. No Mr. Incredible.

She was just regular. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Your mom wasn't getting treated like Dawson. That's awesome. You know what I mean? Your mom wasn't getting treated like Dawson. That's awesome. You know what I mean? Your mom wasn't getting yoga flamed. What I'm trying to say is that's a good thing.

Y'all didn't go through what I went through. Having to watch your mom do a waltz, get pecked down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? That's trauma. My mom's watching this right now. How dare you put me through that? Did she kiss you after?

Probably. Ugh. Probably. Whoa. Yeah. You don't know what this is like. Where did she kiss you? All your moms did nothing.

Where did she kiss you, though? Your moms didn't receive not one sledgehammer. You got another random dude. Another guy on your lips. From a random dude. Don't be disrespectful. My mom got at least one. Yeah, your mom got at least one. I'm a random dude. Don't be disrespectful. My mom got at least one. Your mom got at least one.

I'm not saying your dad's short dicked. Yeah. I'm not saying that. Yeah, you're not saying that. So it's okay. Your dad is not a short dick. Yeah, because you're not saying it. I'm not saying it.

Yeah. See how that works out? It's very simple. I'm not saying that at all. So Biden tweets. Biden can tweet whatever he wants. Yeah. You know?

Biden tweets whatever he wants. If he wants to show his wife, his wife was walking. Yeah. So Biden tweets. Biden can tweet whatever he wants. You know? Biden tweets whatever he wants. If he wants to show his wife, his wife was walking. Yeah. Slow walk too. What was that? It was slow walk. Everything's better in slow mo. Facts. As your president, I'm not picking favorites, but as Jill Biden's husband, fly eagles fly.

Yo, I hate it when... That's fire. You know what I fucking hate? When like motherfuckers downplay their success to be a husband. Like, I'm not the president. I'm Gerald Biden's husband. It's like, you can only say that because everybody knows that you're the fucking president. Oh, you mean like when you give, like, a Valentine's Day or a happy birthday post?

Look at my post. Look at my post, Look at my post though. Oh, you can't really. I'm ready for it. Let me see. Let me see. I'm ready for it. This motherfucker was there writing an essay yesterday about.

That's on the card. Oh, that's a dollar. That card was fire, bro. I thought that was a post. And honestly, she didn't even react that much. And I took it back and I started reading it. Like, did I fucking misspell some shit? Is this a wrong card?

I literally took the card back from my wife and read it out loud. Like, I don't think you actually read it. Yeah. I think you're too distracted by the flowers that you're not putting the time in. What's up, boo? Okay, look at this. Happy birthday, my everything. Thank you for making me the luckiest man in the world.

I love you. That's fire. Oh, okay. He's identifying as somebody's husband. You can only do that when nobody thinks that you're that. A liberal cuck, bro. That is so... So it's a flex.

You're just saying it's a flex. No, but he's also identifying himself as your president. He's saying... I'm saying it's fake humble. He's doing the fake humble. I'm saying he don't really think of himself like that. And he knows that he's not that, so he will present himself in that way.

Wait, look at what he says. He says, as your president. That's a flex. He says he's your president. As your president means I am your president. I'm just not picking a side. Let me try to communicate this in another way. Let me go at it from a different angle.

That's the hardest flex. That's why I was the top. As your president. As your dad. As your daddy. I'm not saying this. And he's saying that to Elon. Elon's reading this.

No stay-at-home husband is identifying as that. That's why I'm saying it's a flex. That's dope. He identifies as our president. You understand that, right? Fuck all of them, yo. Shippy, fuck all of them. I just want to let you know

from the bottom of my heart, fuck all of them, yo. You know, liberal cucks by the lamestream media. You're getting brainwashed. Manipulated by the lamestream media. You're getting brainwashed, dude.

Yeah, dude. Are you just trying to bring comedy back? Yeah, yeah, that's all I'm trying to do is fucking bring comedy back, dude. What the fuck? The lame stream media has obviously got them.

You know what I mean? And you know what? The cancel culture is going to come get you one day. Mm-hmm. That's what happens with cancel culture. That's what they're shooting down the sky, bro. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's going to eat you up. It's going to fucking eat all three of you. That is true. All right? So anyway, I don't think Elon did anything wrong here. If he wants to put his shit out the front, that's fine. It's going to fucking eat all three of you. That is true. All right? So anyway, I don't think Elon did anything wrong here. If he wants to put his shit out the front, that's fine. It's yours. If you pay $44 billion for something, you get to do whatever the fuck you want with it.

This ain't New York real estate where they go, well, you can't renovate your bathroom without asking Mayor Adams for permission. Yeah. This is, Twitter is his. He could change the name. He could do whatever the fuck he wants. Do all that then. Lean in.

Go all the way. Go all the way with it. Bump your shit. He just needs better control of the troops. That shouldn't be leaking. Yeah, that is true. How does he do it? Death penalty.

I've been reading some dictator stuff. You've got to kill them out. You've got to appoint people, let them have a little bit of power, and then you've got to kill them. You need your keys. And you've got to kill them. And you've got to kill one every once in a while. Yep.

That's what it is. Who are you killing here? No, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a... I'll kill Miles if he looks bored one more time.

Every time I look over there, Miles is like this. Is the podcast so boring you can't hold your head on your shoulders? Miles got resting bored face. Holy shit. Resting bored.

How are we supposed to be entertaining when Miles is over there trying to kill himself almost? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to rest your... This is how boring it is. He needs to rest his head like this. We all have taken at least 12 fucking ounces of Celsius. You drank the last Celsius.

You drank the last one. It's fire, bro. Somebody get Miles Celsius, bro. And we're going to get rid of your chair. You're going to have to stand the whole fucking podcast. I'm tired of this. There's extra gravity when we're talking. That's how Celsius, bro. And we're going to get rid of your chair. You're going to have to stand the whole fucking podcast. I'm tired of this. There's extra gravity when we're talking. That's how Miles feels.

We're professional. I need something to throw at this motherfucker that won't destroy cameras, but will inflict enough pain that he has to pay attention to what we're doing on this goddamn show. A Nerf gun. We got to get a Nerf gun back. We need a fucking Nerf gun back. What happened to the Nerf guns? Yeah, what happened to the Nerf guns?

Yeah, they got lost in the move, in the migration. When we were refugees from Brooklyn, we lost everything. But we'll get it back. Okay, well, listen, that's just one conspiracy. I have another conspiracy. Uh-oh, hit it. Hit it! This one is actually kind of serious,

so I don't know how to, like, approach it because there's big fucking, there's high stakes for this if it's true. But there are some pictures that came out that showed Islam Makachev, the guy who just fought Alexander Volkanovsky. And, you know, Volk is our boy. We love Volk. We love Volk. This is why we're talking about this.

Obviously, yes, we're biased. We want to protect both. But there's some images that came back that showed Islam with a bruise on a part of his arm where a vein would be. Now, that bruise is a typical bruise for someone

who has received an IV. You are not allowed to rehydrate with an IV. There's a two-year suspension for that. They're looking at it like performance-enhancing drugs because in a lot of ways it is.

You've depleted your body with so much water to make weight, and now you've found a way to get all that water back into it before the fight, and the only way to do it at that speed is to just have it done intravenously. Oh, yeah.

I did an IV drip the other day. That shit was wonderful. I saw you. And you have a little sore on the arm? Yep. Okay. So I look at these images, and I was like, look, this could be Photoshopped, right? There's also a video from the UFC's Embedded show.

Now, Embedded is where they do the, remember the 24-7 Floyd Mayweather type things? They follow the fighters. So they have video of him. I think it's before the fight where you also see the wound. I think you have the video, do you? Yeah, I'll pull it up right here. So you also see the wound. I think you have the video, do you? Yeah, I'll pull it up right here. So you also see the black and blue. Now, he's also a boxer. I don't want to say this is fact. That's what I'm saying.

He's also not a boxer. He's also a fighter. You could get bruises. Maybe that's a part where you got a bruise. There are other options here. The only problem is that there are rumors swirling that the woman that administered the IV has spoken to people and said that she did it. Did he get the IV? Do we know if it's in Australia? Yeah, that's because he's there. Because Dan Hooker tweeted about it.

And he was like, Yeah, Dan Hooker tweeted, but it's after the weigh-in. So Hooker was like, do you really think that you could get an IV in Australia and we wouldn't find out? I do actually. It's a big country wouldn't find out. I do, actually. It's a big country.

I don't. No, but they represent. You're fighting a hometown hero. That's true. You've got to bring your people in to do that. I mean, to me, the only reason why I wouldn't believe this is because I can't imagine that somebody or somebody's team is so mind-bogglingly stupid that they would just risk it with a random IV company. Also, the most disciplined people on the world,

they're going to go on Google and be like, IVs in my area. Send them over. And also, you're the most reckoning. There's nobody that's got only beard hair here in all of Australia.

That IV lady probably works for Twitter, too. Snitching. Snitching. But she won't come out. She's kind of thorough. They're basically like, yo, are you going to just come out

and just say that he did this? She's like, I don't want to deal this she's like I don't want to deal with the backlash I don't want to deal with everything that's going on but I have spoken to some people that have

you know on decent authority that they may have spoken to her and that's what's being claimed now this is huge one the UFC does not want this you don't want a controversy about making weight

two they would have to suspend him for two fucking years you don't want one of your stars that you're calling the pound for pound-pound guy to be a cheat. And then three, this not only tarnishes his legacy, but does it tarnish the whole camp? Yeah. To start looking at the rest of the people in the camp and then going— How much does the IV do for performance?

If you're cutting a lot of weight, think about how much you've got to dehydrate yourself to be 15 pounds lighter than you normally are when you're already that fit. Yeah. It helps in two ways. One, all your cardio goes. Not all, but your cardio significantly is reduced when you take all the water out of your body. Your body is just so depleted. But two, you're easier to get knocked out. So your chin goes without that water. So being able to rehydrate and get back to normal and be able to have the cardio,

but also be able to withstand punches is unfathomably important in a fight. Huge advantage. And especially when you're a guy who's cutting weight to have an advantage. Yeah. That's why it's a two-year suspension. Think about that. I think for like a drug, it's one or even less. It's such an advantage in a fight that the suspension is for two fucking years.

Especially if you're coming up and he's coming down. The one advantage you have is if he's coming down the one advantage you have is if he's coming down a lot he's going to get tired he's going to get gassed otherwise if he can go right back to that level of strength and endurance

you're fucked it's going right back to that 30 pound advantage or whatever I don't as far as casting doubt on the rest of the camp though I don't necessarily do that

but what I'm saying is that's what happens like when there's one cheat within an organization you assume like if Lance Armstrong is cheating you're're like, well, aren't all the? Jose Canseco got poppers, steroids, and was like, I was giving them to everybody. That's just what you, and it makes sense. You're like, yeah, of course.

And then you're dealing with, like, that's why I'm saying if Islam did this, if, and this is a rumor. I can't confirm any of this, and I'm also very, like, delicate with even saying these things because this is this person's livelihood. This is, you know, He ended up getting a decision over a guy who's our boy that we love, but at the same time, it's like, we've got to be delicate with these rumors until it's true. These are rumors, but there's a lot of evidence that looks like there's some shady shit that's going on.

And this is for sure, because I'm looking at some of these pictures, and it looks like it could be camp pictures, like from camp. This video for sure is after the weigh-in before the fight. Because yeah, there is a spot there. Because I was thinking some of those pictures could just be normal camp training, gloves on. I can't believe that they didn't just put some fucking

I can't believe they didn't just put some what's it called on it? Makeup or whatever. Wear a long-sleeved shirt. It seems so obvious that you would think it's not that. That's the other thing. It's like, that you would think that it's not that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's the other thing. It's like if you were really worried or concerned about it,

you would wear a long-sleeved shirt. You would try to hide it. The fact that he's not trying to hide it almost makes me go like, okay, maybe this is a misunderstanding. Maybe he got an IV for something else. Maybe they had to take blood for a blood test. Maybe USADA was like, hey, we need to. But then that nurse would kind of be smart enough to say, I gave him a blood test. Maybe USADA was like, hey, we need to. But then that nurse would kind of be smart enough to say,

I gave him a blood test. That's the only thing that's tricky. But then we don't have a nurse, though. Exactly. There is allegedly a nurse who's saying that this did happen, but won't come out. And that's a big fucking allegedly. And it sucks because the fight was so incredible.

It's so so good it like it was just you know Volk is the man amazing and I honestly I'm not mad at the decision

I kind of scored it 3-2 as well again I'm very much a novice but I thought I thought it all came down to the second round and I thought novice opinion

he had more like time with Volk on the ground even though Volk wasn't like phased by it so I could be wrong but that's how I had it it was just a great fight the fact that it was just so close.

I couldn't really tell at the end. Yeah. I wouldn't be mad either way with the decision, but there is a new way that we're going to have to look at scoring for fights. Just holding somebody in a dominant position without doing anything. Volk was doing these punches, and he was punching, what's his face, Makja behind his head. Is there a lot of power in those punches?

Maybe not. Would we like to get hit with them now? Definitely not. But to me, that's more damage than someone just being a backpack and not inflicting any pain whatsoever. So it's like if you score those punches as more than the holding that person in a dominant position, then I see why you would give the round to Volk, and then Volk wins.

Yeah, the scoring really dictates strategy. That if you just have to be in a dominant or winning position for the majority of the fight, it's like, yeah, I'll just try to hold you. I'll just work on ground. I don't really need to work on striking, which is sort of the strategy of the camp, it seems like. Yeah, I mean, dude, Volk was just so impressive. He's also just a classy dude. Yeah.

And also, I would say Islam's response was also cool. I thought both of them were respectful. They both gave it up to one another. I loved that.

There was like a nice fight where they both clearly respected each other. Even before round five, they dapped each other up. Bro, Volk, I don't know if you guys saw this,

when Islam had his hand raised, the crowd started to boo and you could see Volk in the background going, yo, chill, don't do that. Like, the guy's fucking pure class. He really is. But also what he is

is an unbelievable athlete that was bringing a pain to Islam. If that's a street fight, Islam's not making it home. He's exhausted at the end looking for the clock every two fucking seconds. Volk looks like it's the first fucking round. He's the smaller guy who couldn't be out wrestled

couldn't be choked out all the things that Islam has just absolutely dominated people doing and it's like this motherfucker is not to be played with and Islam gave it up to him 100% what I will say about Islam was that his distance management was phenomenal I've never seen Volk look like he was

extending himself too much to land a punch and granted Islam is taller but Volk's fought taller guys. But Islam managed the distance so well that when Volk was striking, he had to take real risk to get in there. Yeah, I was getting nervous. Yeah, and it's like, I got to give Islam credit. But I think if they run it back, I think Volk wins that easy. I hope he doesn't get suspended so they can run it back.

I hope that that's not true. Just for the sake of the sport and for the I think Volk wins that easy. Yeah. I hope he doesn't get suspended so they can run it back. I hope that that's not true. Yeah. Just for the sake of the sport and for the sake of Volk, like, going in there against somebody who's got, like, an illegal advantage,

like, and then losing that fight, they would take away the L, but, like, I'd rather you just didn't put your body on the line for somebody that had that. Five months of your life for however many months

the camp is for, like, oh, it was all kind of bullshit. Yeah. Yeah, it sucks. But it's also a good turnout for him, regardless, like, you know, omitting the, you know, conspiracy angle. Yeah.

You lose, but you lose on a technicality, I guess. You lose on points, but you win in spirit. Yeah, and you lose in a fight that a lot of people, like Rogan apparently thought, Volk won. Yep. So that says something. Yeah. It's funny, UFC is trying to call Islam

the pound for pound number one now. No, I don't see that. That was never up for grabs for him, in my opinion. It makes Volk pound for pound if he comes up in weight and beats the bigger guy. Yeah. It doesn't make you be pound for pound if you're fighting the smaller guy. Yeah, you're a defender. Especially if it's close.

Volk is going for the challenger. Yeah, you get to keep your belt, but you don't gain more. Yeah. I think if you come up, you're taking the challenge, and if you beat that person one division up, it's like, this guy is so dominant.

That's what the tradeoff is. You have a lot to gain, but you're at a disadvantage because you're coming up. Exactly. It still makes you pound for pound if you're used to fighting at a certain weight and you have to drop more

than you normally have to drop. No, he didn't. He stayed at his normal weight. Oh, okay, I'm sorry. Oh, I thought he dropped more too. No, no. That's my thing with the IV thing. Like, if he didn't come down more than he normally is,

like, why is this recovery so much worse and why did he have to do this if this is normal cut? And that's why I'm kind of like, I don't... Well, that means he would be bigger than normal. Yeah, he either wasn't training as hard or wasn't monitoring the food as much

or what happens is as you get older you start to hold on to the weight and cutting that water weight is fucking hard they say this to boxers it's like

they used to be able to take off the 20 pounds in water weight and towards the end of their careers they just can't do it they just don't shit so I mean the guy's

probably been cutting weight since he was doing wrestling as like a fucking nine year old yeah eight year old yeah so you know when you talk about

Vulk's cardio what I thought about and obviously we love Izzy as one of my favorite athletes in the world but when he fought Jan I think was his name when he went up

Jan just leaning on Izzy you could see Izzy get tired after rounds of that and obviously Izzy's one of the greatest athletes on earth. Volk had a similar thing, maybe not the same weight difference,

but similar thing, just getting leaned on, getting held on the ground, and wasn't remotely fatigued. It was mind-boggling. I have a theory about that. Okay. He comes from Aussie rules rugby. Right, you talked about it, yeah. Where he was weighing much more.

I think he was weighing over 200 pounds. But also, they run like 10 miles a match. Non-stop running. You'll never see guys that size with that good cardio. They're just, even football is stop and go. Yeah, sprints. But the Aussie is constant, right? So it's like, I think cardio for a guy like Volk,

obviously he works really hard at it, but having that background where it was just non-stop fucking running. And it's physical. It's physical with cardio. It's not like soccer where it's not that physical. But you're like tackling the fuck out of each other. So the cardio for him, that's just a lesser version of what I do. And I'm lighter now. Hell yeah.

I was, however, 40 pounds heavier back then running like that. Now I'm lighter? This is light work. I think, weirdly, in a loss, he solidifies himself as pound for pound. You might be right. It's the weirdest thing that happens, but it's like, you came up,

you fought the most dangerous guy in the UFC, so to say, and some people think you beat him. Yeah. It was without a doubt a very close fight.

You finished the fight in the dominant position. But you can't take pound for pound until you do it. Like, just because you feel like someone won.

Well, he was number one is the thing. I'm sorry to interrupt, but he's not trying to go from two to it. He was number one is the thing. I'm sorry to interrupt, but he's not trying to go from two to one. He was number one, right? So I think he holds his spot until somebody takes it from him. I don't think Islam took it from him. No, no, of course, but I'm saying if the whole claim is like,

oh, double belt champ, pound for pound, you can't really be that until you do it. Which, if they rematch, I think he'll do it. Oh, I didn't say he was the double belt. But you're saying pound for pound, and I'm like, you're not pound for pound until you win the fight against the guy in a different weight class to become pound for pound. I don't know if that makes you pound for pound,

because he was pound for pound before, when he never fought the guy in a different weight class. Define pound for pound. Basically, it's like, you can't say who the most, who the best fighter is, because the bigger fighters could just absolutely destroy a smaller fighter. So pound for pound is basically saying

this is the best person if we looked at all. No, no, if we looked at all fighters almost equally. Now we can't because heavyweights have such an advantage. Like a heavyweight fighting a guy at 155 pounds, one punch on the top of the head like a cartoon. I'm fucking dead. But a guy who's, but if we look at them evenly,

like Floyd was the number one pound for pound. He couldn't be a heavyweight, but he was so dominant within his weight classes that we go, his skill is the best. Oh, shit, I've always looked at that wrong. I thought pound for pound means like you've moved a couple of weight classes and you were the dominant person in those weight.

I thought you have to be at least two different weight classes to be pound for pound. Oh, no. I didn't think that. But what happens is when you move weight classes, you prove your dominance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it helps it, but it's not a requirement. It's like in basketball if they did inch for inch.

Allen Iverson might be the best player ever because he's 5'9 or whatever. Oh, that's, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was so fucking good. Jordan's a better player, but Jordan was 6'6. So, like, I can't really measure those two. So, you know, it would be like inch for inch in NBA.

So pound for pound is just like, it's an opinion title. It kind of favors smaller guys. It's an opinion thing that absolutely does. But UFC does do an official ranking

for pound for pound. Yeah. Which is decided by people, though. It seems like it started as like barbershop type shit, and then UFC was like, why don't we just make this a thing,

which is smart. That's funny. In boxing, I always thought it was an official thing that you can like see on paper. All this ranking shit is just humans deciding. We love to rank stuff. We really need organization. People love lists. We love the fucking lists.

And if you're not on the list, it drives you crazy. The billboard list. The billboard list, exactly. It gets everybody talking every year. Is Ja Rule not top 50? Let's just talk about it. I looked at that list and I was like... Is he not top 50? Is this a joke? No, I'm being serious.

In terms of the hits that he had, the sounds that he had, the run that he had, are there other people on that list that were like, yo, you weren't as influential as Ja? It's just so hard because it's like a lot of the older rappers that I have like hardly zero feeling for because they would just perform my time,

but they made the list just because of how like influential they were in starting hip-hop. And you have to look at them within the context of their time. So then it's like, yeah, Ja had a run, which is crazy. But you could say Fetty Wap had a Ja rule run. He had a Ja rule run, but he had a run. Ja had a couple years. No, no, Fetty had a run.

Fetty had a run. But I'm not discounting Fetty's run as much as I am saying, let's remember Ja's run properly. Ja had years. And Fetty had a year or two that was like, a summer that was fucking crazy. And that's not to laugh at. That's not easy to do. That's lightning.

But Ja was not lightning one time, one album. Veni, Veni, Vici slapped, then he had the one, he started to get into that Pain and Love shit, or whatever it was called, and I remember being like, this is rap? But then when 50, 50 just like, Yo, 50,

50's the goat man it's so funny he actually spoke on this there was a clip somewhere we can probably find it but he spoke he was like Ja is a nice kid from this good part of town that like went to he basically like

what's the Eminem 8 mile shit he's a you went to Cranbrook that's a private school and he's like he basically was like what's the Eminem 8 Mile shit? He said, you went to Cranbrook. That's a private school. And he basically was like, that's who you are. And you make love songs and you're great at that. And that is your lane. But then Irv wanted to compete with the gangster shit. They literally named the label Murder Inc.

And it's like, you ain't got no murderers here. You have to associate yourself with your murderers. And now you're being something that you're not. And you're not going to beat somebody who actually comes from that at that game. And it was a really interesting thing. He's like, if he just stayed in that love music lane, I don't know if him and 50, if him and 50 actually beef beef. 50 will make fun of him. Oh no, but the beefing wasn't because of music. Oh, what was it? No, that was a lot of street shit that was going on. But that only happened

because Ja and Irv got involved with the... I've heard this and I forgot, obviously I forget everything. What's the story with that again? I'd have to... Somebody knocked somebody out, took a chain or some shit? Yeah, it's like basically 50 had a crew. The crew that Ja, that Irv was associated with,

fuck, what's his name? Damn, he was like a legendary gangster. Not Supreme? Supreme Team, there we go. So then it's like 50 was coming up, selling drugs, whatever the case is. They get into beef, so now basically Supreme.

By association. By association, they just sent them after him. And that's what 50 said, is like, yo, you chose up trying to be this hard, you trying to keep up a hard image, you need hard people to keep up a hard image.

You chose up with this crew, you could have sung the love songs and then killed it. Yeah, but that is hypocritical of 50 because he bodies them and then steals his style

and does a bunch of love songs right now. Remember Jadakiss's this, the album was pure trash, nothing but love songs. Yeah. He said that about the second album, I think.

Literally made fun of his style and then did his exact style. Yeah, which is genius brilliant. Like, business mind, let me eliminate the competition for what they do and then slowly become that. But take enough time that people forget, and he earned his street shit. I got shot nine times. You're not going to call this guy soft.

Are you fucking crazy? I sold drugs. I did dirt. I lived that life. Yeah, he's like an amoeba, you know, just like swallowing the cell and then like just becoming it as well. Whoa. Yeah, 50 is on a different level.

But I do think both of them deserve to be in that. Wait, 50 wasn't even on it? No, 50 was. 50-17. But Ja's not. I do think Ja should be in it. I don't know how you rank it. But it's hard to take somebody out of it.

Yeah, I'm looking at so many people like, you should be higher. And again, I've said I'm not the biggest Drake fan. Drake at eight, I was like, that eight? He's a lot of guys one, and I can't argue with it. So to have him at eight, I was like, wow, that seems low. Unfortunately, Drake at eight only because of the ghostwriting stuff. If it wasn't ghostwriting stuff, he would be tied for one. So,

no one has had a run like Drake. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Also, this list changes in five or ten years. Yeah. When Drake is 45, 50, it's different. Now, the fact that Kendrick

is six spots above him is kind of interesting because they're both peers. Yo, Nas, and I got a lot of love for Nas, is high, right? But now we're just like, it's all personal preference then. Because to somebody else, Nas should be number one.

But I'm a Nas head. Like, I grew up on Nas. Yeah, I love Nas. When it was Jay-Z or Nas, I was like, Nas. Nas all day. Yeah. So if Jay-Z's won and there was a time where Nas was ahead of him. Okay.

Nas over Big seems a little bit wild to me. Let me ask you. And I'm a Nas fan. I think the reason why you go Nas over Big is because of the amount of him. Okay. Nas over Big seems a little bit wild to me. Let me ask you. And I'm a Nas fan. I think the reason why you go Nas over Big is because of the amount of records. The one thing about Biggie

is it's two albums. Yeah. But it's not his fault. It's not, but it is what it is. It's like getting injured playing ball. And it's like,

ah, if he didn't get injured, he would have been the greatest. Yeah, that's right. That's why Andre Thistax is so low because I think he don't have the single albums enough.

He don't have the single albums. At the skill of rapping, he's the best maybe ever. He might be the better rapper out of everyone there. Okay, question, question. What was the impact

of LL and was that even before me? Because I don't remember LL being that huge. LL was earlier. So LL was before you but you still caught the tail end of the LL run.

Yeah. But like, he was that dude. So he was Drake? Yeah, basically. Okay. So ladies loved him, dudes loved him. Like, he had the game unlocked. Because I remember him being an actor, and I remember him doing all that.

And I remember him going at... Mama said, knock you out. Do you remember that song? Yeah, yeah, but he was... Doing it and doing it and doing it. That was when he came back. Yeah, exactly. Who was the fucking guy that he went after?

Papoose. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cannabis. Cannabis. Cannabis. Cannabis. That's right. I thought Cannabis won that battle, personally.

Cannabis could fucking wrap his ass up, bro. But LL was just the bigger person, so that's why. Okay, okay. So, 5017 who else Big Daddy Kane I don't really know but that's an old

like him Rock Kim like those guys that's my thing how do you evaluate like influence versus like objective run

I think they're saying during their time who were they he was the Jay Z of his time like during his run they was that big right

so that's why it's like you have to really put them up there because we can't just be like prisoners of the moment. Right. Yo, Tupac over Biggie is wild. To me, a little bit as well. Nicki Minaj over J. Cole. Nicki Minaj, you know what I thought of? It sounds fucked up, but I think— Nicki's huge.

Nah, I put her up there. I think Nicki's huge. I think you also—you can't have a top ten with no women. I don't think it—honestly, I don't think that's gender at all. She was. Nicki over Ye? Yes. Yeah.

At rapping, without a doubt. But she was bigger than Wayne has ever been. She's bigger than. No. Nicki Minaj. She had a ton. I don't think you understand how big Nicki Minaj. Look at the amount of records sold or something like that. I don't think you understand how big Nicki Minaj, look at like the amount

of records sold or something like that. I think it's like Eminem, Nicki. Yeah, like that was the time she was doing arena. She had every woman

in the world. Yeah, she also changed rap for women in general. Yeah. Yeah. That I can believe. Her outselling

Wayne or being bigger than Wayne, I'm just like, I can't fathom that. No, it's factual. They're super close. They're like roughly a few million from each other on sales. There's like a specific album that she put out.

That probably has a ton more. That is just like... Pink shit or whatever. Pink, fuck, what's it called? But I think it almost... Pink Friday. What's interesting though is if you go based off of records sold... Oh, Eminem.

So according to this, it's like... Can't wait to tell you. I love this. This is my favorite thing. So it's like Eminem, Drake, Kanye, according to this, it's like, I love this. This is my favorite thing. So it's like Eminem, Drake, Kanye, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, and then number seven, Flo Rida. And I'm like, if you want to talk about Run, people always bring up Fetty Wap. And I'm like, yeah, he's great. But I'm also like, Flo Rida has maybe the most hits of anyone.

I actually love Flo Rida because Flo Rida is what he is. He doesn't pretend to be anybody else. Also, I think if you tried to check him, he'd be like, let's go. I'm fine with this. He's Raps Pitbull. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Both from Florida.

Both from Florida. Continue to put out. Nobody's ever mad when the Flo Rida song comes on and you're at the club. At the club, no. Or you're at the beach bar. You were mad? I don't want to hear that shit.

Welcome to my house. If you're drinking with your boys, that's not fun. You're mad? I don't want to hear that shit. Welcome to my house. If you're drinking with your boys, that's not fun. You're just at the beach club. Oh, beach club. Like the pool party or whatever. Oh, okay, now. If you said a club, I don't want to hear that shit. I'm not putting a Flo Rida on when I'm at the bar.

Maybe the club a little different. But when you're at the pool party, it's a Vegas pool party. You could just play Flo Rida. Yeah, he makes Florida music. It's inspired. That's funny. But it is like a lot of hits in a row. He got hits.

You gotta give it to him. Also, he got that crazy bag from... Yeah, boys. Yeah, that whole thing is crazy. Do you understand what happened with that? Basically, he had a deal with them and then they didn't come through on the deal, so then he sued them for more than what the deal was worth. Yeah, it was something crazy. $80 million or something like that.

He was awarded an $80 million settlement. Maybe it was more from Celsius. And I guess he was supposed to get equity in the company or something for promoting it. And he said that he did his end of the bargain but they didn't pay him for it. Yeah, he was supposed to be paid stock options and bonuses if the company hit certain sales markers.

He was awarded $ 82.6 million. Shut up. Now, are they actually going to pay that? How does that work? I have no fucking clue. I have no idea. I think a guy like that looks at this list and just chuckles. It's like, okay, you can have your list.

I'm worth nine figures. Oh, I have a conspiracy. Do you think Ja Rule is like the perfect person to leave off? He's going to talk about it. You get more press. People do think he deserves to be on the list. We're getting conspiratorial. He's going to talk about it. You get more press. People do think he deserves to be on the list. We're getting conspiratorial.

There's probably someone that was like, oh yeah, Ja Rule's 45 and someone else was like, no, no, no, no. He's zero. I got a good idea. Let's pull him off.

You ever see Barstool does that? Barstool put out a poll. It's like the greatest love movies of all time and then they'll put Cars 2 as number three just to get people pissed off. There's a lot of like

NBA accounts that'll do that all the time. They'll make a list and it's like generally pretty good then two of them will be like completely wrong just to get people fired up. Yeah, there's a lot of like

NBA accounts that'll say like here's the tiers of players and then they'll put Shaq at like four just to be like yeah, let's leave him alone. Because they know Shaq so they'll talk about it

on Inside the NBA. To your point, when have we ever cared about Billboard top anything? We barely care about the charts anymore. Barely. Top 50 greatest rappers? I've never...

Has Billboard done this before? I never knew. Not really. Usually Complex does it. Yeah. Rolling Stone has their like... They talk about that every time. Yeah, yeah.

They just beat them to it. The combo always works. It always works. It works every year. But the one people pointed out was Lauryn Hill also. I was thinking Lauryn Hill. I want to say it. She's in my top five ever.

Not enough work. I just saw him at that album. So fucking good. If you could say it's maybe the greatest album of all time, you've got to be up there. That's how I feel. I don't know.

And she got a couple verses on the score, the Foodies album, where you're like, God damn, she can rap. She can fucking rap. But that's the Andre Three Stacks thing. It's like,

he has a bunch of verses, but it's a group album. I think she's the female Three Stacks thing. It's like, he has a bunch of verses, but it's a group album. I think she's the female Three Stacks. A lot of times I see them as like spiritual counterparts. So the only knock I would give her is that she tried to make music after and didn't hit.

She didn't take care of her voice, I don't think. Three Stacks right now, you could put him on any song. Whatever you want. I literally think rap got too easy for him. I really think he's just like, why am I doing this?

That was a good podcast with him and Rick Rubin. Somebody told me about it. I haven't heard it yet, but I heard they get really into it. He has a verse on a T.I. song called Sorry, where he actually kind of apologizes to Big Boy for like, Leo, man, I just wanted to rap. I wasn't built for this fame shit. I didn't like it.

I've had to step away. He apologizes for it in the verse. I think it's mainly to Big Boy, but definitely Big Boy summons to rap. I wasn't built for this fame shit. I didn't like it. I've had to step away. He like apologizes for it in the verse. I think it's mainly to Big Boi, but definitely Big Boi, like some of it's to him. I got another conspiracy. I was just about to ask you if you had one. What is it? Apparently the Super Bowl is rigged, dude. Oh, fuck, man. Apparently, at the very end, I don't know if you

guys saw this, they made a call, and some people said it wasn't holding. Whoa. Wow. Now, what is the conspiracy? This is just to bolster Patrick Mahomes' brother's TikTok following? Yes. That it's actually done by TikTok, by China to try to get one of their creators more eyeballs. My God.

If they want to kill off the city of Kansas City, they're going to eat a lot of celebratory barbecue and get them to die faster, getting fatter and fatter. This is China. There it is. There it is. I believe that that could be true. I I believe that that could be true. I 100% believe that could be true. Kansas City doesn't need a train with hazardous materials.

You know what I mean? They just have sugar and everything. I really want to get to this hazardous. I have a conspiracy about the train crashing. Fucking, we're doing it, guys.

It's a conspiracy. There was another one in PA, right? Yep, there's PA in Ohio. Philly. Oh, shit. Hold on now. But before we get to that,

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I picked that. Also, he picked the Chiefs, bro. You did pick the Chiefs. You know? You did pick the Chiefs. Pick the motherfucking Chiefs. Yeah. He was in on it.

I had nothing to do with it. I was at home. I have a perfect alibi. I was at home in my apartment. Sure. Anyway, betonline.ag. Listen, we got some fights coming up, okay? You know it's going to be big.

Jon Jones coming back. Cyril Ghosn's coming back. And if you want to continue gambling, continue making that fucking money, you're going to do it with betonline.ag. Make sure you use that promo code flagrant, and they're going to match 50% of that initial deposit bonus up to $1,000. You go do that right now. Now we're going to get back to these conspiracies. And we're back.

Listen, we got to talk about these trains. A little conspiracy. First of all, I get upset when a train crashes because there's no reason for that. Oh, that train. Wait, what train are we talking about? People running trains. Are you trying to talk about the train that didn't happen on any of your moms? Was that what you were talking about?

What did you think was going to happen when you brought that up? Did you think it wasn't going to get tied back to moms in any way or form? I'm just dumb sometimes. Maybe it's a foresight sometimes. Maybe it's a conspiracy. Maybe you wanted them to bring it up.

Nah, chill out. I don't know. Train, train, train. You're asking for it. I don't know. Okay, so basically there's these three train crashes in America. There should never be a train crash ever. It doesn't make any sense. You're in New York and you hate a train, train. You're asking for it. I don't know. Okay, so basically there's these three train crashes in America. There should never be a train crash ever.

It doesn't make any sense. You're in New York and you hate a train running late. Facts, though. Your least favorite thing in the world. I hate a train running late. From a young age. This is true. Trains be getting stuck in New York, though, all the time.

They do. But they don't crash. But that doesn't make any sense. They don't crash. They don't bang into one another. They never crash. There's one road. There's no reason you should crash.

It's one road. I can't argue you should crash. It's one road. I can't argue it's not like another train is coming. What if a bolt comes loose? What do you mean a bolt comes loose? Yeah, that shouldn't happen. This is a locomotive flying 100 miles an hour. You literally have one rail to work on.

Have you not seen how they make the railroads? The train is spinning like this, bro. That's a wheel. And you don't think a bolt on a wheel can get loose? No. It's just a wheel, bro. It just goes. Yeah. It's locked in place.

Everything's good. You don't see wheels fall off of cars. You might see a tire burst as rubber. But the metal wheels didn't just spin off a car because the bolt's not tight. Good point. Okay, so this is a terrorist attack, and we won't acknowledge it. Oh. Exactly, because we don't want to be like, yo, China

is fucking us up. And, I mean, it's just a little peculiar that, like, all three of the trains got fucking poisonous shit on them. Like, how much poisonous shit are we sending? That's a great point. That's a great point. I think a lot. Every train got poison on it? Three for three. A little, yeah. Three for three. Wait, hold on, hold on. Let's back great point. Are we sending? That's a great point. I think a lot. Every train got poison on it? Three for three.

Three for three. Wait, hold on, hold on. Let's back it up. You're telling me that you believe the majority of trains that are traveling in America are traveling with poisonous chemicals? Well, what do you count as poisonous? You think there's a car full of poisonous chemicals? I think every train maybe has one. Have you ever seen a train go by? It's maybe has one. Have you ever seen

a train go by? It's like mad cars. Have you ever been on a train? Yeah. Most trains are not carrying people. Most trains are carrying people, Mark.

Well, of course, there's a conductor. Holy shit. I'm saying, you see a whole train go by, it's mostly cargo and poison. Yeah. No.

Yeah. Can we fact check? You're used to subways. I'm used to Amtrak. No. Amtrak is what I was thinking. Amtrak is like 10% of the trains. Can you fact check this? You're used to subways. I'm used to Amtrak. No. Amtrak is what I was thinking. Amtrak is like 10% of the trains. Can you fact check this?

I don't know if you believe that. I like this. Because I don't know if he does either right now. I don't know if you believe that. He's stalling right now with the laugh. He's like, shit. I don't know if you believe that. Is it?

No. I do not know if you believe that. That's a fact because I thought the same thing. Then I looked it up and I was like, oh, I... Oh, you thought the same thing. He's shitting on your conspiracy theory. He's like, I've been there, done that. I looked it up, and I was like, oh, I... Oh, you thought the same thing? He's shitting on your conspiracy theory. He's like, I've been there, done that. I turned eight years old, and I was like, oh, wow,

not all trained people have turned eight years old. Oh, shit. That was a shot. That was definitely a shot. I'm like, well, you did have a shot. The fact that he's telling you it's a shot means he thinks you're stupid. Isn't that crazy?

I just heard that Ethan beat just now. You don't think he knows? He just kind of doubled down on this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do you think he's so dumb? Why do you think he's stupid? This is like a really fucking mean thing to say. This guy's a real asshole.

He's really a bully. Okay, go look up the statistics. 1.7 million carloads of chemicals are shipped through America. How many million carloads are on a train every year? We're talking about a majority. Out of how many carloads? Is it more people on trains or more chemicals? I'm just going to go.

There's more than 1.7 million people taking an Amtrak every year. I'll tell you that. Yeah, of course. Way more trains have people than have chemicals. It's not even close. What world do you live in where we're just transferring chemicals all the fucking time? Oh, I thought we were comparing cargo trains to passenger trains. Yeah.

But his point is— If we're doing that, I think there's more cargo than passenger trains. But his point— Oh, there's way more people trains than cargo trains. All right, let's see. Let's look that up. I don't know how to really look that up. I'm going to figure it out.

I thought you looked this up already, Mark. Yeah, the hell with that. I'm banking on your fucking research. Punch him in the fucking head because he's closer to you. Sometimes I really want to, sir. Fucking dumbass. You motherfucking just said, I did some research. What is America?

It's just a poison factory? Isn't that what we do? We just transfer poison around the fucking country? Everything's kind of poison, brother. Oh, stop it. Gasoline's poison. Stop it. Drink some gasoline. Everything's poison now. Drink some gasoline. Drink some gasoline.

Everything is kind of poison in that Celsius because that shit got me lit, bro. Everything's kind of poison. That shit got me argumentative. That shit is lit. I don't want this argument, everything is poison. I want... He's moving the goalposts. He's moving the fucking goalposts.

I'm just right on multiple counts. Doug, help us out. Everything's poison. You're a good researcher. There has to be a car, and the car got the skull with the X's on it. That's what counts. Like a pirate?

You're talking about pirates. You're talking about a pirate ship. It's got to be a pirate train. If it's not a pirate train, then it's not fucking poison. You're thinking of a pirate train. I need that. I need that.

That old guy out front with the peg legs. That's it. I also don't think 1.4 million car loads or whatever is that much relative to how many there are trains every year. He was just looking up. That's a small percentage. Yeah, but he's saying three train crashes. All of them, three for three, poisonous material falling on the wall. Where are the train crashes without poison?

There's a ton. They just don't report them. That's my thing. So there's 1,700 train derailments a year. Yeah, 1,400. No, derailment is not a crash. That's a crash, bro. But even if derailment goes off, that's like—

I'll be honest with you, Akash, and I want to be on your side. Just fuck them forever. Yeah. So just try to say it differently. fuck them forever. Yeah. So just try to say a different thing. Saying a derailment

is not a crash? Come on, bro. I feel like they could be jacking up the statistics. Oh, a train got stopped when it shouldn't have. You can come over.

You can come over with us. Just fucking stop. Yeah, yeah. Just fucking stop. I'll give you a chance. Come over to Death Row. If you want to come over here, you can.

We got to derail. I mean, if a train stops and we got to get off, is that not derailment? He's derailing his cobbler with his stupid-ass points. A little bit. And I'm on your side because it's fucked to both of y'all and Miles forever. A little bit. For sure.

But, Mark, can you figure out the information? You can't Google for shit. You Google like a boomer, bro. You really do. That hurt him, son. That really hurt him, son. You identify as someone who Googles fast. That shit really bothered him right there, bro. You really do. That hurt him, son. That really hurt him, son. He identifies as someone who Googles fast. That shit really bothered him right there, man.

Come on, bro. You ain't got no comeback. Tell him how he Googles. Tell him how he Googles. Come on. He's finding 4 million carloads of coal alone. So 1.4 million poisonous shit ain't nothing if it's 4 million just coal. No, we are

comparing cargo trains to passenger trains. it's 4 million just coal. Just coal ain't poison? No. We are comparing cargo trains to passenger trains. Yes, that's what we are comparing. No, no, no. This is about the original conspiracy. Poison! No, run it back. Also, Amtrak only runs in the Northeastern corridor. Poison versus people. I don't want no Playstations on a motherfucking train.

Poison? You said it's mostly people. I said it's mostly not poison. No, no, no. I was fine. No, but he's right. The original argument was this seems like a conspiracy because why would three crashes happen? All of them got poisonous shit in it.

And you guys were like, that's trains. That's trains. We said there's more cargo trains. That's trains. What's not poisonous? There's more cargo trains. That's not what you said. You can't remember the thing. You're making it up now. I don't remember, and Mark is,

you need to speak the fuck up. I'm Googling, Al. God damn. Slowly. There's 1,700 derailments that happen all the time. They all got poisonous shit. We heard that fucking five minutes ago,

dickhead. A bunch of them have poisonous shit, and we never bring it up because we're just like, yeah, let the people get poisoned. It's also not poisonous until it catches fire. It was just PVC,

and then it caught fire. Why couldn't you look that up, you fucking schmuck? He's on my team. Why'd you say this 20 minutes ago, man? What is he even Googling? I don't know, son. Also, light and some shit on fire don't make it poison. Wood ain't poison. Yeah, exactly, but this shit was. It's a chemical that when it catches fire,

it's a chemical that makes PVC and when it catches fire, it's very bad. Go on our team. That's why I made news. Three in a row? I don't know if I'm doing this. Yoni Park was just talking. If it just derailed, it wouldn't have been bad. It caught fire.

That motherfucker didn't say shit. When I ask him if the lights are on before every podcast, he just goes, yeah, and none of the fucking lights are on. That's what he just did. He did a knee-jerk Miles response, which, what are you doing now? He's talking with the lights. One episode a knee-jerk Miles response, which, what are you doing now? Turn off the lights. Turn off the lights. One episode, Akash was sitting in a fucking dark. And Miles looked me right in my face.

He's just brown, bro. No, he is just brown, but this, he's sitting in a fucking dark. I go, Miles, can you put the goddamn light on Akash? He goes, that's how the light is every single time. Or Google faster. I don't know what to Google, and this is as close as I can get.

You need to make the text bigger, you fucking boomer, bro. Those who can't Google are afraid of the truth. Those who can't Google are afraid of the truth. You know, I'm remixing Bill Clinton. Those that can't Google are afraid of the truth. Look at that. And if you're showing me. What you looking at?

That's right there. That's the last of us. That's what I'm. What you need to do is show how many trains have poison. Skull, bones. 1.4 million carloads. Miles, look that up. They move it.

I don't want to know when it catches on fire. It's poison. Everything on fire is poison. Everybody shut the fuck up. Dove is talking. No, you said it wasn't. You better say something that I like. Come on, Dove. Freight trains moved 2.2 million car loads of chemicals in 2021.

So that's the most recent. We don't know if the chemical's bad. What do you think the chemical's bad? Chlorine. Bad. Yeah, that's terrible. That's horrible. How would you name the worst chemical?

First of all, first of all, first of all, fuck you pool boy. Now chlorine's bad? Yeah. Remember when you were filling up them little kiddie pools full of fucking chlorine? That's why he's colorblind. He's colorblind.

It was vinyl chloride, which is a similar thing to chlorine. Oh, yeah. Eat it. Eat it. You could have slammed Doc and you just came in.

I hated that. I hated what he just did right there. He just fucking, I hated that. Sticked his face and slammed it in my gooch. He had to slam Duck, but he went for the finger roll. I didn't know what that was. Why didn't you give me all the core fluorocarbons and shut the fuck up? This one is Freight Line.

This one is Amtrak Line. Thanks for how you took off your knit sweater, you piece of shit. Son, you yelled and said the most boring shit yelling I've ever heard. I never heard anybody yell so boring. But most people travel to go on airplanes. They don't take trains, bro. Shut up, dog. That's a fact.

Look at this. Don't bring up another stat that nobody arguing. Freight lines. You're bringing up a stat nobody arguing. You just Googled some shit that nobody give a fuck about. Look at that. What's that? Amtrak or fucking poison. This that nobody gives a fuck about. Look at that. Which one do you think is more? Amtrak or fucking poison?

This is the poison map. Poison. Poison. This is literally the poisonous map. Look at that. The green is poison? Everything. They're all poison.

That's not all poison. It's different poisons. How would you know? You didn't even Google it. The poison goes on the same tracks as the non-poison. That's not true. You're going to have to separate the poisons. You're fucking lying.

There's passenger lines and there's freight lines. That ain't true. He's wrong there. He's wrong now. Take that. Come on. I'm lying.'re fucking lying. There's passenger lines and there's freight lines. That ain't true. He's wrong there. He's wrong now. Take that. Come on! I'm lying! I'm lying. There are, but a lot of the times... Why don't you know his shit? He got all the shit to know right on his lap. A lot of the times Amtrak doesn't

know the lines it goes on. You got all the information on your lap. You have it on your phone. Google it. Google it. How you wrong? Look it up! I don't know. He really can't find it. You don't even need this. You're not using the battery anyway. This is the Ethernet. What the fuck is the point of that? I'm plugging into the mainframe. God damn, let that shit run out already. I'm keeping your goddamn legs warm with the AC so low.

Fucking Miles. What do you think is more? How do you think that there's more people in cargo? You're poison. You're poison. You're poison. Your face is poison. You're poison.

How do you think that? That girl is poison. Who is that? Where is he on the top 50? Never trust a big bug in're poison, dude. How do you think that? That girl is poison. Who is that? Where is he on the top 50? Never trust a big butt in a smile, Miles. Never. Never, ever. That should get you, bro. That should get you. You are a big butt in a smile. You are. Never trust a big butt

in a smile. You know what? I'm on TV. Thank you! You got a fat ass and an You know what? I'm on TJ. What? Thank you! The walls are caving in, Indiana Jones! You got a fat ass and an okay smile. That's aggro, I think. You can't double up compliments. Yeah, I know.

That's too much. That's great. I know, I know. That's good. It ain't even that nice. All right, listen. Lucky you have braces. Can we figure out what's going on with the trains, though?

Because now you try to undercut the whole shit. Dove had the answer. Dove had the answer. You know what happened? A lot of chemicals being transported off. I'm saying, unfortunately, it is normal. Yeah. Unfortunately, it is normal.

I don't—that's—what does that even mean? How many times have you seen a train crash? That's so vague. 1,700 a year. How many times have you seen one? I don't believe that statistic, to be honest with you. 1,700 train crashes a year, we all know about it. Can I just say-

Five train crashes a day, none of us know. Yes. Almost as if politicians don't care about people. Hold on, hold on one second. He thinks politicians will tell him everything, bro. We- Libtard. We, I might be a libtard.

He's a libtard. But listen, I want to talk about retards for a second. Okay. I want to talk about retards for a second. We've been judging these autistic kids for wanting to watch trains retards for a second. Okay. I want to talk about retards for a second. We've been judging these autistic kids for wanting to watch trains all the time. Oh. If it's a crash five times a day,

we're missing out. That's their NASCAR. What? That's way more cool than NASCAR. These motherfuckers get to walk out the NASCAR. Or maybe they know something, and they're just watching the show, and then they don't tell anyone.

How the fuck does every autistic kid see every plane crash and never tell their mom? Plane crash? Train crash? What did I say? You know what the fuck you just said. I don't know anything. That was some terrible shit. I need something to inflict pain on the group.

On the group? What is this guy looking at? What is he fucking looking at? Train statistics. I'm autistic. What the fuck is he looking at? Is he reading a book? I don't think so. I mean, it's just unbelievable. He's getting that a little Train statistics. I'm autistic. What the fuck is he looking at? Is he reading a book? I don't think

he's... I mean, it's just unbelievable. He's saying that a little bit harder. I'm autistic. Unbelievable. What is he doing over there?

God damn it. He's typing a note. Come on. God damn it. It's hard to Google that shit. Oh, it is. It is.

Because they're hiding the search. Yeah. They're hiding the fucking search. I believe you're... There's a conspiracy going on. There's a conspiracy, man. I don't believe 1,700 train derailments. Yeah. They're hiding the fucking search. I believe you're, there's a conspiracy going on.

There's a conspiracy, man. I don't believe 1,700 trained derailments a year. They do. All right. Let's go, let's talk about another thing. Okay. Okay.

What is it? Oh, a different thing altogether? We got one more thing. Oh, Last of Us. You watch Last of Us? Not only have I been watching Last of Us, I'm also keeping up on the video game. Oh.

Are you going to stream that video game? I don't know how to do that. Okay, well, someday. I also don't know how to put my AirPods on it so my wife just be waking up with me going, fuck! Well, that's like two in the morning. AirPods don't make your voice less.

Yeah, that was odd. You think you put on AirPods and she can't hear you. You are so stupid. I'm going to put AirPods on her so she doesn't hear it. You are so stupid. Yeah, that was an interesting way

you think AirPods work. Well, you think you put on AirPods and you're going to wake up and you'd be like, oh, my bad, I'm going to put AirPods on her so she doesn't hear it. You are so stupid. Yeah, that was an interesting way you think AirPods work. You think you put on AirPods and your girl would wake up and you'd be like, oh, my bad, I'm wearing AirPods. I thought you couldn't hear me go, fuck. Hey, listen, guys. Every once in a while you say some dumb things on a podcast. Okay? That was a dumb one. I'll give you guys that.

That was pretty goddamn dumb. Pretty goddamn dumb. Yeah, it was. It was. Fucking you guys. Something doing like paint on the group. You guys, dude. What are you smelling? You guys are just fucking disgusting, dude.

You guys are just disgusting all year. Dude, we can hear you. You don't have your earpods. Why are you doing that? It hurts our feelings. How did you think that would make you cry? I don't know what I was trying to say, Miles. It's because the game is so loud. It's just screaming zombies.

Yeah. Do you love the game, though? I know you're trying to bail me out. Yeah, you just put the volume down. I said some dumb shit, okay? That was on me. That's my bad. I do play the game, and I do live in a house with my mom.

What is the word? I do live in a house with my mom. What is the word? I do live in a trailer with my mom. No, I've been playing this game. I'm obsessed. I'm 39 years old, and I'm playing fucking video games again. And it's just like I'm so glad that I took about 15 years, maybe 12 years off of video games. I would not have accomplished anything if I was playing video games.

Or maybe I'd be like a really big gamer. But I'm being dead serious. I love playing this video game. How happy would you have been? You know what I mean? If you had played every video game, you'd be pretty happy. Yeah. Just a phenomenal show.

Did anybody notice that the mushroom clean made him not deaf anymore? Or not didn't make him deaf, but like the way that he spoke in, he didn't speak like a deaf when he was sick. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. He was just yelling. Oh, yeah. When he screeched after he became a...

Yeah, but he didn't screech like, like he screeched the exact same as the other people who were infected. But he also didn't hear her initially because she had to tap him to get him to turn around and attack her, right? Yeah, that's true. But when he flipped, he didn't sound like that. That's what I was waiting for.

He changed his voice. Yes. It really takes over. Isn't it great that she asked his name when his back was to her? Knowing full well that he can't understand a single fucking thing that she has to say. Yeah.

But deaf people can scream though. Yeah. They wouldn't know. Do they know what it's like to scream? That is a great question. I think so.

Yeah. Because if vocal cords still work, they just can't hear the sounds they're saying so they don't know. But they don't know what that volume is.

They don't know the difference between screaming and whispering. They just know how to fix hearing. I think they can feel vibration. But just don't know what that volume is. They don't know the difference between screaming and whispering. They just know how to fix here. I think they can feel the vibration. But just emotionally, you're just having,

you have the impulse to scream. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, I don't know. I don't know. Have you guys all caught up on the show? Yeah. Yeah?

Fantastic. Thoughts on the last episode? So good, man. And I thought like, the way they're kind of having her, you see her kind of get jaded and it's kind of sad.

Like at the end, when they bury the bodies and she just like walks off on it, doesn't even really take it in. You feel bad and you also kind of see like he feels bad that she's becoming as jaded as him. And I thought that was like a really cool moment where he's like, it's almost like he's looking at his daughter becoming something that he can't help her with. But like he wishes wasn't happening. Yeah. Because he's trying to protect her from all of this. Becoming him. Yeah. Like life has made him incredibly hard. Yeah. And he doesn't want her with, but he wishes wasn't happening. Because he's trying to protect her from all of this. Becoming him. Life has made him incredibly hard.

And he doesn't want to let people in. He doesn't want to develop these emotional relationships with them because of how painful losing his daughter is. And now all of a sudden he's developing this love for this little girl, so it's like having a daughter again, but he's seeing the daughter become him. Coarse, hardened by this reality. It's got to be heartbreaking.

Yeah, it's just brilliant. And playing the game, the game is fucking great. Did you like that they made him deaf? Because in the game he's not deaf. He's not, yeah. But then they made that choice. I think one of the actors is the one that made it. Did you think it added to the story? Was the kid actually deaf? Yes. Yeah, he was. So I think he's probably the one that made the choice.

Yo. That's a good point. Today's not your day, bro. It really is not. Yeah, that's a good point. Today's not your day, bro. It really is not. Yeah, that's true. It's hard to be smart all the time. It's a hard thing to do, being smart all the time, bro. Sometimes you need a break. You got to pass the ball, you know what I mean?

It gets tough all day, you know what I mean? But listen, you just got to say it with your chest, go out there, full confidence. Sometimes you stick the landing, sometimes you don't. That's the game, though. That's just all it is. It was just straight bullshit. Like, the sentence that he just said was straight bullshit. He said the actor made a choice

to play deaf. Like, it was the biggest crock of bullshit that he just said. Well, the actor didn't make the choice because they had to write lines for it. Like, they had to write the script around a deaf person. Right, yeah.

It was one of the writers and producers. I guess I thought it was the actor. You see how that makes a lot more sense, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The actor can't make the choice. Yeah. So they then hired a deaf kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who also plays hockey. Great hockey player. Kayvon Woodard. Word? He plays hockey? Yeah. He's nice, too. Shit, we about to take over hockey, too.

You might take over hockey. That's great. God bless. It's taking. We about to take over hockey, dude. You might take over hockey. That's great. God bless. It's taking too long. What? It's just too cold. I thought we would have taken it over by now. Considering he's not an actor,

I thought he was actually great. If you like, he's a kid playing this role. I don't know. He was great. But the older brother was phenomenal. Oh, so good. I think he stole the- Toronto?

Huh? Did you sense Toronto accent? I didn't sense anything. And the older brother, did you not? Oh, I'm sense anything in the older brother did you not no I was just happy they killed off that annoying bitch

who the fat bitch that was leading I was so happy she was so annoying that was great cause that was like the most unbelievable part

just like them listening to her wait why cause she's there like crying in her old family house and shit like that that's not a leader.

Yeah, but she didn't do it in front of everyone. Yeah, still. And also, I thought it made sense that her brother was the one that was like this great man, whatever, trying to help. And then he gets killed and then she's just angry and is killing everybody and leads a revolt. And they're like, all right, we're with her. Her anger got us. And that's what that guy said. Basically, your anger got us more results than your brother's love.

So where with you and your anger? Whatever your decision more results than your brother's love. So where with you and your anger? Whatever your decision is, even if it's angry, we rock with you. Where would you guys hole up? Let's say it happens right now. Son.

And we have the ability to go wherever we want to go. That's a good question. There's a private jet gassed up right now at Peterborough. Gotta be on an island, right? Like a remote island.

Yeah, but then you gotta start trying to find your own food and shit like that. Wow, you can fish though, right? Tip tons of fish. You have to learn all that shit. I think if it came down to dying or learning, you would learn. I might not. Y'all would. I might be dead. Did you put out the episode

with the freediver guy yet? No. When is that one coming out? Like two weeks. We're going down to the Bahamas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you could spearfish. Because he does that. He spearfishes all the time.

Yeah. So Mark has this episode coming out with a guy. What's his name? William Truebridge. And this is crazy. He can hold his breath for like eight minutes. He does these fucking eight minutes. That's crazy.

And not just sitting down. Swimming and like doing shit. Going to the bottom of the ocean. Crazy. Yeah. And then catching fish and then only eating the fish. So he sustains himself just with what? So he has kids, a wife, whatever. So Mark was breaking it down to me. There was a really cool thing.

Tell the thing about him sitting in the cave to meditate. This shit puts fun. This guy literally, for fun, to clear his brain, he'll go literally like for fun to like clear his brain he'll go down like 50 meters and go lay in the bottom of a cave just like chilling in the bahamas just like clear his mind stay focused underwater for like five or six minutes okay and then wait wait one time he's laying under there and all of a sudden he like sees kind of a flashlight out of the corner of his eyes and then all of a sudden two scuba divers grab him and start shaking him

because they think he's dead and he wakes up and goes what the fuck and then they thought he was dead and he's like no i'm good i'm chilling, what the fuck? And then they thought he was dead and he's like, no, I'm good. I'm chilling. And they go, oh, sorry. And then he swims out. But like, he's literally just laying there

in the bottom of a cave in the darkness, just like clearing his brain. And I don't know who should be more scared. The scuba divers seeing the body. We just found a dead guy.

There's kids with him and shit. Yeah. Or the guy that wakes up and like in his fear goes and like accidentally fucking. That'd be my concern that you like spit out

all your air because somebody's fucking. Yeah, but he can lay in there for four or five minutes and then just pop up. And grab some air from the scuba divers. By the way, Lamar Johnson from Last of Us, Toronto. He is from Toronto. Great call. I got that excellent. So the reason I bring that up is because we could sustain ourself on fishing.

Yeah. And there are parts of the world, the Bahamas, okay, and then maybe we have some protection with the island, et cetera, but there are limitations obviously. You're not going to have medicine. You're not going to have access to food outside of the fish. You're not going to have access to... But you're not going to have access to anything anyway.

You could like... Well, it depends. Depends where you are and what you have to raid. Because eventually we're going to run out of shit and we're going to have to do raids. That's just the reality of the matter. So we need to be close enough to a place where we to raid. Because eventually we're going to run out of shit, and we're going to have to do raids. That's just the reality of the matter. So we need to be close enough to a place where we can raid. Yeah. You know?

But I'm almost like, I feel like it's better off mentally to not even have that as an option. Like, if you're constantly thinking like, oh, we can go raid this thing, we can go raid this thing, mentally it's like burning the boats. Like, once you get on an island, and you're just chilling there eating fish all day, and you know you're not going to get attacked,

but you also know, oh, I can't just go raid someone for like pills, or raid someone for whatever the fuck, then you can focus on actually living on the island and you're just chilling there eating fish all day and you know you're not going to get attacked but you also know oh I can't just go raid someone for like pills or raid someone for whatever the fuck then you can focus on actually living on the island. So my concern about the island is hurricane season. I was going to say

you got to think like weather. Weather pattern. No this is really important. I'll take that. I'll take that. I think you got to take your chances.

Those fish will still be there. In the game and I don't want to give anything away from the show but like in the game there's some people that built a kind of like city

around an electric dam. It's not electric, but the dam provides electricity. They essentially dam up a river and that- Hydroelectric dam, yeah. The hydroelectric dam, yeah. Thank you.

They have that in Tampa. Okay, so it's like making your city around a source of electricity that doesn't require gas could be super valuable because you're going to want some fucking electricity, especially if you're going to try to salvage society. You're going to run out of batteries. You're going to run out of gas.

You're going to run out of all these other things. The grids might go down, but that river ain't going to stop pumping. So why they built those cities in the first place there? Of course. Well, also because I think the trade routes were on the river, right? Yeah, I guess that's the question. Do you want to try to build around existing infrastructure and try to maintain the semblance of society you had before

or just completely restart? I think you've got to go to a remote place because what they're always worried about is other humans from neighboring places. Eventually it's not the zombies. It's the fucking... Yeah, so I'm like completely restarted. It's kind of better.

Go to an island and at least at the very least if other people are coming you see the fucking boat and you can handle it from a distance. But you can't see the boat on the whole island. Like I guess what you could do

is like build some sort of tower structure in the middle and then one person is always there and they're always looking at who could land. Yeah. I don't know.

I'm just going to become a zombie. I kind of feel that. Because everybody's, no one's happy. Everybody's like, every day you're nervous, you're offended. Like, that's no way to live. Let me just be a cool zombie nigga. Nah. Maybe I get to the point that I'm one of the big guys and shit like that.

That's fine. That's not even you, though. That's just your body getting hijacked. Yeah. You're not even a part of that situation. It don't matter. Yeah, it does, because then you're gone. That's what I'm saying.

I don't want to live like that. It's stupid. You don't want to live in the fear and the anxiety, is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I get that to a certain extent. Everybody you love is going to die. And I think I said this,

but the book that I Am Legend was based on is kind of about that. Like, is it worth living if you're the only person really left and everybody else seems dead? Like, what's the point of going? Is it worth it? And I kind of am like, at a certain point, no.

Yeah, I don't think so. Nah, I want to ride that bitch. So then what squad are you linking up with? Because you've got to link up with a squad. That's the thing. It's like, I would love to develop one. I'd like to make one. But there are advantages, obviously, for the islands.

You make a squad, the raiders are coming. They might come. I ain't gonna lie. I'm not just shot. Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of shit talking. Yeah. A lot of shit talking.

It would be good, though. Like, nah, I'll be fun to survive with. So that'll be fun that you make a squad and then people come and just pillage your shit and kill all of you.

Unless you're pillaging. Are you down for that? I don't want to. Exactly. He ain't built for that life. I don't want to take over. That's what I'm saying. I don't want to do that. But what if we create?

What if we do it off an island? Or what if we do it on... We start a comedy club. You know what I mean? It makes it money. It's the best medicine, bro. But if people hear about it, motherfuckers are coming.

To laugh. Okay, what about if we do... We've been trying to get people to come to shows for years. This is actually ideal. What about if we do it off of an aircraft carrier? We've been trying to get people to come to shows for years. This is actually ideal. What about if we do it off of an aircraft carrier? We basically find an aircraft carrier.

That's a lot of maintenance. This was in a movie, Waterworld, but it was a tanker. A tanker. Remember? This is a lot of maintenance. You're dealing with waves and shit. I don't know how to run it. In World War Z.

And don't you still need like oil? Israel becomes a great hub. They're good at security. And Cuba too. Cuba's nice. Nobody's even affected there because nobody could get in. So we could look for the place that's not affected and then see what's going on,

but eventually people would get there. I'm just saying there's got to be a way that we could like curate a place that's easy to defend. I mean, these places have to exist already. Yeah, you got to go by geography. Like you got a couple of mountains here, you got some water here, you got a trade route.

I think you go back to the original great cities and towns. The reason they were able to develop is because they would defend themselves. Yeah, it's just like 90% geography. St. Louis. St. Louis at one point had a huge population, way bigger than it is now, but because at the time it was one of the great cities,

American cities. Because it was on the river, you're saying? Yeah, so these cities that are very water-bound might become... Now, can it defend itself? That's the question. St. Louis can defend itself. I promise you, St. Louis can defend itself. The people, but once everyone's gone, I don't know. You need a couple mountains.

You might need some mountains, or you might need to create that city in the mountains, like on some Machu Picchu shit. Yeah. Like, who's really going to climb up there, see what's going on? It's like such an investment to get up there. But once you are up there, as long as there's enough shit to eat, and you can build yourself a little society. Bro, you can just go live in the pyramids.

And then a hundred years goes by, your kids are like, Dad, what are these? And you're like, oh, I made them. And then you can just hijack history. That's why. And then all of a sudden, you just start with a huge head start, oh, I made them. And then you can just hijack history. Sucks. And then all of a sudden, you just start with a huge head start. That's sick, actually. Yeah, I think that's the move. It might be the vibe.

Be Egyptian about it. Yeah, exactly. Just steal it. Anyway. Last of us, fire. Go check that shit out. Question. Do they explain that fucking giant zombie that pops up at the end? Oh, the bloater.

The bloater. They say that after a while, if you've been affected for a while, that's what you start to look like. Yeah. And you're way more dangerous. Yeah. And you start getting bulletproof. Yeah, see?

I'd be one of them dudes. It's not you, though. Nah, it's me. I bet y'all still haven't figured it out. Yeah, that's accurate. Why is that bloater of shades? For no reason. I think one of the things that the episode does

or the show in general does really well that a lot of other post apocalyptic movies don't is that it has an element of hope still and that's what was so profound about her character she embraced the fact that she is potentially the future for this world and then they capitalized

on that and you know twisted on that. Yeah. Nah, she's a beast. Okay. All right, guys. Listen, that's been an episode of Flagrant. Make sure you check out Ralph Barbosa

and make sure you check us out on Patreon. Go join the asshole army, patreon.com slash flagrant. Go do that shit right now. We have a new episode every single Friday coming out there, so go peep that. And yeah, thank you guys so much for listening.

We'll see you next week. Peace.