Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Rogan & RFK vs Big Pharma, Messi goes to the MLS, & McGregor Allegations with Chris Distefano

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Yerrr, Chaos Chrissy came by to talk about Rogan, RFK, Elon and their latest tweets, Messi's Massive Miami deal, voting rights, fatherhood, McGregor allegations and much much more. INDULGE LONDON PRESALE LIVE Come see Andrew Schulz and The Life Tour in London's Royal Albert Hall on the 19th of October 2023. Code: ANDREW TheAndrewSchulz.com

Announcements. London. Mandem. Boys from the Ends. It's time. It's been five long years, but I'm coming back. The Life Tour is coming to Royal Albert Hall October 19th. Tickets are up for pre-sale right now.

Code is Andrew. Go get them while they're there. I can't wait to see y'all. Now let's start the show. What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. And today we are joined by the one, the only, Chris DiStefano.

DiStefano. The man is on a tear right now. Radio City already sold out. Damn. They had to add The Garden. Oh, shit. Okay? That's close.

Yep. Okay? You have the next day. New tour. I mean, it's crazy right Yep. Okay. You have the next thing. New tour. I mean, it's crazy right now. Yeah. We'll get to all the other stuff, but most importantly, you came in a little hot. Yep. Still got the Puerto Rican wifey.

Yes. Is it wife yet, or? Yes. Yes. The Puerto Rican wife. She's my wife. Come on. I say she's my wife. Did you have a wedding? We didn't have a wedding. She's my wife. I say she's my wife. Did you have a wedding?

We didn't have a wedding. Come on, Chris. We didn't have a wedding. You just moved to Staten Island. Yes. I moved to Staten Island. We have children, but we're not technically married, but we are married in spirit. Okay?

We're not married in a wedding. That's a Puerto Rican way. That's a Puerto Rican way. We're spiritual people. We're not married by the law. Okay. But, you know, listen, I live on Staten Island now where there's different laws out there. We have children.

If something has happened to me, she gets the money. She's in my living will and testament. In Staten Island, this is your wife. Listen, my neighbors watch this at home. I'll reveal here that she is, in fact, Puerto Puerto Rican I've told everyone on the block she's Italian But we already said that's Puerto Rican, so I can't, it's what it is She is Puerto Rican and she's my wife

Now, that is big, if she passes away Or if you pass away, she gets everything Now, if you decide to break up Then what does she get? Because that's also a big Part of marriage Yes, so she, I didn't even catch a big part of marriage. Yes. So she... I didn't even catch that one. That was brilliant.

If I die, she gets everything. If you guys break up, she gets fucking nothing. I don't even know this girl. Go back to Puerto Rico. My kids are taken care of. She can figure it out.

She gets a thank you for everything. You should have killed me. She gets a thanks for everything message from Fat Joe. No, so she has, we have kids. You're incentivizing her to kill you, Chris.

This is why Puerto Ricans kill their husbands. I know. Well, you know, it is. There it is. I know. My lawyer said that, too. My lawyer was like, you know, this is. He doesn't have a lawyer, her.

Exactly. State appointed. Yeah, so, but she, she, you know, we have children together. So for me, i'm just the kind of person i guess because i'm a child of divorce yeah i'm just type of person to me having children with the woman that to me brings her at a higher level than my wife like if i had a wife if we broke up and then i got married to a woman but we didn't have kids jazz would still be in first place because we got the children that's the the spiritual connection. You worked this out, bro.

It's a spiritual connection. You forget Chris is a doctor. Yes. Chris is an actual doctor. You forget he's a doctor. And here's the truth, and I'm happy that you did this because a lot of times I'm like, let me hold back. You know, I don't want to, you know, she tells me all the time, don't mention anything about us.

And you mentioned the first 30 seconds. So now let's just have three hours of fun. I'm going to get in trouble regardless. Okay. So you said this morning things got a little bit spicy. You're already in trouble. Oh, yeah. We're already in trouble.

So, so, so. Your blood. His blood. Come on, Christian. It's a testosterone. So, so,, no. So, I was saying before, I was talking to Akash outside

and we were talking about how we're all flawed as humans, right? And I try to do this. I thought you said Florida in a New York accent. I know a New Yorker says Florida.

Well, Florida is too Florida. He is the Florida of humans, though. 100%. And if you guys want this country to get better, you'll go DeSantis. And so, no, I'm kidding. And he gets nervous. So I, you know, was talking how, like, always trying to self-improve, trying to, you know, I've been, you know, Ryan Holiday. Yeah.

The Daily Stoic. was talking how like he's always trying to self-improve trying to you know i've been you know ryan holiday yeah the daily stoic that guy i tried to look for someone who mirrors a life like me you know his husband he's two kids two three kids haircut haircuts metallica yeah all that and he's and he i was like this guy lives a similar life you know from the circumstances let me see what he does and i've been sucked into his podcast, sucked into his books. Great guy. And so I'm always trying to self-improve and read, you know, flawed or whatever. And one of the biggest things you should never do is fight in front of your children because they absorb that whatever.

And I've been practicing that and preaching that. And then today they got some trauma. And then today there was just an argument that if I would have been thinking about his principles and thinking about the Stoic philosophies of just, you know, you know, you know, choose, you know, instead of being angry, choose sympathy, delay your anger. You know, the best, the best, the best thing you can do for anger is to delay, you know, just think about your dichotomy of control, control what you can control and don't worry about the rest, what Epic Tia says. And just you are in control. It is not your life. It is the choices that you're making that make up your life. You are reacting to everything.

Life is reactionary. All that stuff. And I snapped. And I just snapped when she asked me about a chore that I didn't do about throwing out the garbage, and we just got into it, and the kids were right there, and then I just had to walk away, and I took a shower, and I told Akash I was screaming into the towels in the attic

to just try to get up. He went upstairs as far as he could go into his attic and screamed into towels as loud as he could. My children were in the basement. They were doing, like, an activity down there. That's where their playroom is, and I went up to the top layer, and I screamed as loud as he could. My children were in the basement. They were doing like an activity down there. That's where their playroom is. And I went up to the top layer and I screamed as loud as I can into the annex and just yelled obscenities at myself, took a shower, came back downstairs.

And I said, you know what? I already met. I messed something up. I did not control my reactions in the right way. But what I all I can do now is show the children that if you make a mistake, if you make a mistake, all you can do is try to be better for it. This is going to tie into Juneteenth. He's doing it all, baby. He's doing it all.

Oh, my God. That's funny. All you can do is try to rectify that mistake. Happy Juneteenth. We snapped, Al. We just snapped. Shout out Galveston Tech. We made a little mistake.

I know we're trying to do better here. So happy Juneteenth. And so that's what I tried to do. And I said, you know what? I'm going to go down there. Janice is still with the children. I'm going to kiss her and tell her I love her in front of the kids so they absorb that. Smart.

Smart. But she was still angry. I was still angry. And we gave one of those kisses where if I would have slipped some tongue, she would have bit it off. But it was good to see that because the kids hopefully absorbed that. Like, how do you turn a negative into a positive? Try the best we can. And that's what I think has fundamentally changed about our relationship is we're not at each other's throats anymore.

We're not looking for ways to get away from each other. We're looking for ways to make it all work and kind of be better examples for the kids. What is your advice to people who don't have an attic? Who don't have an attic? Yeah, that's an attic. Like you mean a drug addict? No, no, no, no. I mean like who can't go up two or three stories to scream into a towel. Yeah. One bedroom apartment, two bedroom apartment. Then I think you got to go outside. I think you got to go outside and take a walk. But I do have to be honest with you.

After experiencing what I experienced today, if I didn't have an addict, I would have been that guy that you read about that threw himself in front of the E train. Bro, that's what I think people do. I think a lot of people throw themselves in front of the subway. They didn't throw out the garbage when they were supposed to. I have a buddy of mine who throw themselves in front of the subway have just, they didn't throw out the garbage when they were supposed to. I have a buddy of mine who was working on Wall Street, and when he would have like a horrible day, we're talking about like losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. He would just walk on the street and bump bankers with his shoulder. He'd just walk up to people, bump them, have a little bit of aggressive interaction, get it out of the system, and then get back to work.

Yeah. Well, I think that you have to. You have to get it out some way., and then get back to work. Yeah. Well, I think that you have to. You have to get it out some way. Go to the gym. Go for a walk. I think he's pretty selective with who he bumped. Oh, yeah. He bumped me, but not Alex.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's probably. I said bankers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I meant. You got a lot of bucket hats on Wall Street. Yeah. Yeah, hit somebody that looks like they have psoriasis.

So things are good at home, though. They're good at home. Things are better. Are you vaccinating the kids after this? I'm just saying he has new kids. I need to know. This is Chrissy chaos. Vaccines are in the news.

I know you've been Googling it. I know you're a big fan of RFK Jr., a man of the people. You know how the Kennedys are? Yep, yep, yep. Just people of the working class how the Kennedys are? Yep, yep, yep. Just people of the working class, the Kennedys. I support the Catholics. I'm sorry. Can I tell you?

Listen, the RFK dude, he's quite interesting. I watch the Rogan stuff, and I'm curious about it. But I do get a little bit of a discomfort at Kennedys saying that they're out here for the working class. Right. Because they're like the young Kennedys have been partying in New York for a while. Sure. And they don't exactly party working class. And I won't say which one, but there's an iconic story in the city

of one of the young girl Kennedys trying to go out to a nightclub and they wouldn't let her in. And she said out loud the airport's named after me. Oh, that's fire. Fire. Holy shit.

She didn't say one of. She said the. The. The airport's named after. That's true. I'll elect her. I'll elect her straight up. Wait, so I don't think I know what's going on

because I've been a little bit outside the news. Because again, with kids, you can't really do what you want to do. You're in fourth place in your own life. What's going on with RFK Jr.? What's going on? He went on Rogan and what happened? Are the Kennedys coming back?

Yeah, it might be. I don't know. Okay. I think we're seeing why they're all dead. Yeah, more. I like to push the buttons a bit, you know? They get killed a lot. They get killed a lot.

But then you go and you see the Rogan episode, you're like, oh yeah, he's taking shots at everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I got to watch that Rogan episode. You're like, oh, yeah, he's taking shots at everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I got to watch that Rogan episode. I haven't been. I have because, you know, what he's saying, the covid vaccine might be a little fugaz. I don't really.

I'm going to say something smart posture. This is when you cross the leg. I don't really know. No, no. I'm like, I do think, though, for me with the getting the kids vaccinated, I personally. Yeah, personally, because, you know, with getting the kids vaccinated, I personally, personally, because, you know, I believe in God, the creator. So I'm like, listen, if whatever God's little immune system, God made my kids that he vaccinated

them before he sent them down the chute. Yeah. So my thing is like, let my children's immune system do their job. If we reach a point where it's very clear that we need to get modern medicine involved, we'll get modern medicine involved. This whole thing of, here's the thing, I have zero issue. It's the same reason why I picked Ryan Holiday and the Daily Stoic's advice because it's 2,000 years old, it's battle tested, as opposed to a new age thinker who may or may not be right, but they haven't got the years of experience.

So for me, I'm like that certain vaccines have got those years of experience. I got no issue giving my kid this certain vaccines, a flu shot or anything like that. That's been around. Battle tested. Battle tested. The new vaccines, it just hasn't been battle tested yet. You need it to be battle tested, yeah.

So I just need it. I need some years before I can do that. You don't buy the first iPhone. No. You wait. They get the kinks out of it. Yes, yes. So that's, so for me that's-

So you think there's some kinks in the latest COVID vaccine? I think- Did you get boosted? No. Do they even sell that in Santa? You go to the boosters, there's two guys in leather jackets ready to beat the shit out of you. Oh, we got some Biden voters here. TOR updates London. You already know.

Tickets on pre-sale right now. Code is Andrew. Also, this weekend, we're going to be in Temecula, California. That's already sold out. And Reno, we added a second show. A few tickets left for that one. We're going to be adding more cities very soon. So stay tuned. Thank you guys so much for coming out to all these shows.

Incredibly excited. And Toronto, thank you guys so much for coming out to all these shows. Incredibly excited. And Toronto, thank you guys so much. That was unbelievable, man. Both shows at the Scotiabank Arena sold out. Thank you so much. Incredible, incredible, incredible. And let's keep cooking, man. More dates to be added very soon. Peace. Also, guys, big announcements tour-wise. First of all, I am taping my first full-length one-hour special in Houston at the White Oak Music Hall September 1st. The first show sold out within 24 hours. Y'all are amazing.

So we added a second show, but those are almost gone as well. So hurry up and buy your tickets, akashsingh.com. Also, there's a lot more dates on there that you can find, including some new dates. I think we added, we moved Salt Lake City. We added Poughkeepsie. But more importantly, Zany's, y'all sold that shit out so fast that we added two more shows. So,

July 13th is sold out, but we added the 14th and 15th, I believe. You might need to check your calendar, but the Friday and Saturday shows, we added at Zany's. So, go to akashsingh.com, buy your tickets for Zany's, buy your tickets for the special taping. We're elevating the fuck out of this year. I love y'all. Thank y' y'all so much now let's get back to the show you know it's

unfortunate the government put put us in that predicament it's unfortunate that they did that not us yeah and and uh but yeah but i'm not i don't think you know the booster now you know you hear about all these problems i'm just like you know what i'll take a shot i'll take a shot at you know my own immune system doing what it does. Is there no part of you that's like, it'd be kind of cool seeing the success of a lot of autistic people? Is there no part of you that you see it as an advantage? Oh, make no mistake.

This is our way to compete with China. We need autism of some kids. Make no mistake, when I was a pediatric physical therapist, I worked with... Doctor. Yes. Doctor. Yeah, I mean of physical therapy. So it's like... Bro, come on, man. Come on, man. Let. Yes. Doctor. Yeah, I mean, of physical therapy. So it's like a total show. Bro, come on, man.

Come on, man. Let's gas you up. Yeah, fine. Let us pick you up here on the pot a little bit. Doctor Deesta Farmer. All the real doctors at home are saying the same thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was saying that. We have a medical professional to talk about that too. I hate him because he's a nurse. Are you a nurse? Yeah. Oh, no, yeah.

But I'm a nurse. Nurse. The same way you're a nurse. Are you a nurse? Yeah. But I'm a nurse. Nurse. The same way you're a doctor. But so the only... My man just took away his doctor. Come on, bro. Come on, dude. To be honest with you,

it's like if it was that important to me, I would have the diploma. I don't even know where my diploma is. I have no idea where that diploma is. I'm not shitting on physical therapy. I think it was a great profession. But yeah, you're not a real... You have to be very clear. I have a clinical doctor that is so different from what

actual real doctors or even nurses do. I would argue like if somebody went down right now, you should go to the guy in the bucket hat before you went to me. I would go to the nurse. And then go to Dove because he's most nurturing. The Jewish guy, then the physical therapist.

But yeah, when I worked with the children who had autism, dude, I almost felt like they're so smart and they're operating at such a different wavelength that it's not so much that... Wait, why'd you work with the kids with autism? Oh, because... Because you physical therapy-ed out of them? No, no. I tried. I would put a dodgeball and just let one rip i know you're faking it well no you had all different kinds of kids you had kids with cerebral palsy so they'll you know just throw them in there they just throw them in there it was so funny literally my second day on the job

this principal calls me to the office she She goes, Chris, how's everything? I was like, it's good. I'm loving it, having fun. She goes, it's great. She goes, we're having a good time. She goes, I just have to remind you again, you cannot run up and down the hallways with the kids holding them like footballs. You're not allowed to do that and then spike them into beanbags. Because I was the only male.

That's a very female-oriented profession. So I was the only guy. I was the only guy there. So, I mean, I was having so much fun with these kids, but she was like, again, you know, some of these kids have feeding tubes. They have issues and you're having a good time, but it's a liability.

So, but the children with autism, you would work with them. You know, they needed, you know, motor skills or they needed to, you know, they would have weaknesses here and there. And I was like, man, these kids, they just can't communicate. But I would always fascinate.

I'm like, what is happening in their brains? Because they'll be able to, like, focus on something for, like, you ever seen, like, the Blair Witch? Yeah. When, like, I forgot which one it was where, like, there's the witch who's just looking at something for four hours. Like, she's just, and it's creepy to see someone just stare. They would do that sometimes. Like, yo, something monumental has to be happening in their brain for them to just be staring at something, you, whatever, and you cannot break their concentration. I'm like, something wild is going on.

So the witch just had autism. That's what it is. The witch just had autism. It's a bit umbrella, the term autism, I think. It's a spectrum. They don't even call it. They're just on the autism spectrum. And also, it's a spectrum, but not in the way that it gets worse.

No. That's not what they mean by spectrum. It's not like, oh, you got a 99 out of 100, or you're like a 200. They're just different ways you could be autistic. So some people got the math autism. Some people, they're just staring, and then they do nothing autism. Make no mistake. I mean, make-

But doesn't it seem a little umbrella? I feel like there's different things that are also wrong, and we're just- You can go the talent. So many talented people on the spectrum. I mean, Zuckerberg, Elon, Chris Rock, Rock, Rock. I knew Chris Rock. I felt. Aren't they ruining it for actually autistic people?

Yeah. Because now we look at the autistic people and we're like, what the. Well, why aren't you smart? Like, call yourself something else or just be quiet about it. Because you're not normalizing them. They're just looking like losers. You're kind of an asshole if you're successful and you claim autism. So that you can get even more pass on the back.

Like you're the richest guy in the world and you're autistic. Aw, it must be so hard. Well, I think a lot of people now lean into autism. Like now everybody's, you know, if you do something good or bad. I'm autistic. Yeah, you can blame it on autism. It's like, you're not. Can't you just be weird?

What happened to just being a little weird? Yeah. There's autistic people, and then Elon Musk is just weird. Sometimes I think they do it for playing time. Like, remember at the end of the season in high school where you throw the autistic kid in? Oh, yeah. Like, I think that some of the worst basketball players in high school are just being like, yeah, I got it, bro. Like, can I get a few minutes? For a quarter. I want to shoot a wide open three. Get carried out of the worst basketball players in high school are just being like, yeah, I got it, bro. Like, can I get a few minutes?

For a quarter. Can I get a few minutes? I want to shoot a wide open three. Get carried out of the gym. Put me in the corner, coach. You want garbage time. I remember one time when I played college basketball and, you know, it was Division III, very low Division III, so I was playing like four.

This guy, you always discredit yourself. You were All-American. Were you not? It's not. Were you not all-American? Division 3. I just want to be clear. He's very Catholic. I'm a doctor, I'm not a doctor.

Just like I want to be clear from what he said in the beginning, please come out September 23rd to see us. But it's the baby garden. Okay? It's not the little It's not the big one. Okay? But we're on a path to getting there. I do believe in myself.

It is a big, huge venue still. We're not talking about... Oh, yeah, we're talking about 5,000 seats. Yeah, come on. Okay, so let's not discredit ourselves. I took the kids to see Cocomelon there last year. Really? Cocomelon numbers?

Dude, no, Cocomelon sells out. Bro, Cocomelon is huge. But yeah, so I don't mean to crap on myself, but but I just I think I was saying a story about my coach. You know, I was the the leading scorer, the best player. And I remember if we were getting a big lead on a team, he would all of us right away take his take the best players out to give the bench you know uh uh playing time yeah and for me like i remember he did that to me once and he was like i was like what like you're you're now you're you're not incentivizing me to even want to score more because the more i score and the

more we beat this team you're going to take me out why are you taking me out he's like do you think the players at the end of the bench deserve time? Don't you think that they deserve time? I'm like, no, they suck. That's why they're sitting at the end of the bench. They deserve 30 seconds. Why are you taking me out? I'm working harder than everybody.

And I'm like, come on, dude. So you're keeping the games close. Yeah. One of the last bastions of meritocracy. If you're the best, you get rewarded. Yes. I think it's just, and by the way, with my kids, I preach that to them all the time compete against one another 100% I have my I have my little one I have my eight-year-old in jujitsu with my 12 year old stepson and I have him go hard

I want her to understand not only to be able to protect herself but understand that come on man like nothing you know because sometimes the people that are like preaching and it's not a race thing just people i want equal it's about to be erased no no i swear to god anytime anybody goes it's not a race no no because any it's about to be erased no because it's a trigger thing now anytime you hear equality it goes to race but it's like a lot of people just want to be superior and they'll use the thing of equality to be a race thing. No, because it's a trigger thing. Now, anytime you hear equality, it goes to race. But it's like a lot of people just want to be superior, and they'll use the thing of equality to be superior. I'm like, you know, this is a fucking meritocracy. The best of the best get it always. You know, like I never hear – so I was like, you know, with athletes, it's just that that's the perfect example.

It doesn't matter what you're, you know, complaining about. It doesn't matter what you look like. It's the 12 best players in the NBA. They're going, that's who wins. And that's what I want my daughter to understand is like, bro, you're living in this fucking world. We're getting pulled. You're living in this world

where words speak louder than actions. And that's a very slippery slope. I need you to live in the world where actions speak louder than words and you control your actions and you go out there and do the best you can and only control what you can control and the rest of this stuff. Because we're living in this world now, man, where it's getting a little flimsy.

It's like we're living with emotions. And I'm like, hey, man, I live in a factual world still. So I'm trying to preach that onto my daughters. But you're an emotional guy. I am. I am. But I'm not going to expect something because of my emotions. I would only expect something because of my work.

So there's an entitlement. Oh, my Godlement with the emotions, and that's your frustration. Of course. You think that if somebody works hard, they should feel entitled to what they get. A hundred percent. And I don't care what you look like, smell like, what religion you're from. If you're the best, I want to go with you. I couldn't care less. But that's how I guess was raised.

Why did you say smell like? Just out of curiosity. He was looking at me when he said it. He's looking at me when he said it. I've never heard anybody bring, what do you look like, what religion you are, smell like was second. Yes, I've lost my sense of smell from having COVID. You're welcome. Should have got the vaccine.

I know. Smart kid guy. Sniped us. You gave Colin Quinn COVID. You almost killed Colin Quinn. You almost took out a New York legend. Yeah. Yeah, sorry for that again, Colin.

And you wonder why we call you terrorists. It's a fulfilling prophecy, baby. I can buy a logical weapon out here. Yeah, but it's different. I think, you know, that's why for me, against people that have kids, I tend to listen. It's not that anybody's better than worse, but when you start to have children,

your whole outlook on life is I'm just seeing the world differently. I'm getting the world differently. I'm getting my information differently. So that's why I tend to try to listen to people that have kids. Not to say people that don't have kids are not very smart and well adept, all you guys, but I'm like, you don't see the world, I see the world. So you may have a very

different emotion on something than I have. 100%. It's almost like, could you trust a politician? Oh yeah, wipe them down. Wipe them down. There you go. We like it. It's the Ozempic. White window. Chrissy Meetswitz. Let's go. Oh, yeah, 100%. We like it. It's like, it's the Ozempic. Could you trust a politician that doesn't have kids?

No. And that's the tricky thing. It's just like, how do I know that you're looking out for the future when you don't have any roots to the future? You have no ties for the future. Right, right. What politician out there doesn't have kids? Most of them have kids. I think for that reason, I think it's really important.

AOC does not. AOC does not, yeah. We don't trust her. Yeah, yeah. Speaking of Latin women, what did you say to your girl when she asked you to take out the trash? I really need to know how this fight escalated. Well, no, no, no. It wasn't.

It was that I forgot. I forgot to do it. Okay. And then it was. Why did you forget? This is where it gets fun. Well, first of all, yesterday was Father's Day, okay? Wow.

Yes. Wow. So, you know, I'm like... Can you get a drink? Come on. Can I have a day? It's your Juneteenth. Yeah, exactly.

That's why I was in blackface. And I'm like, can I get a day where I don't have to do, you know, the father stuff? Can you, you know, can I just, like where I don't have to do, you know, the father stuff? Can you, you know, can I just like, whatever? Like, I'll not take out the trash.

I'm not going to do anything. And I just, but I was still going to do it. But I forgot. Okay. Drinking a little bit. We had a couple of whiskeys with my dad. We watched the Yankees, Red Sox. You know, it was fun.

You know, listen, my dad's been at the house for a couple of months. And it was fun to just listen to, you know, what his view of the world is after a couple of whiskeys. And then you're like, you know, I should probably go to sleep because I just feel like my phone's recording this, and I just feel like I shouldn't be around what you're saying. And so... Because it's making so much sense. It's so much sense. A couple of whiskeys.

I was like, yes. I kept going, amen, here, here, sir. That's how you know it's a crazy thing somebody just said when you get colonial. When you go, here, here. Yeah. Hip, hip, hooray. The odds have it.

Well said, sir. And so, and so, so I forgot to take it out. And then it was just a thing that again, and I do the same thing. I'm very guilty of doing this as well because you just get into attack mode. But more women get into a little bit of attack mode. But by the way, I used to get upset by this, but I do understand it because they are the ones who need to be more vicious because nature has given them the responsibility to have the children, create the children, bear the children, and then take care of the children. So they are always like, are you attacking my kids? And they can't just turn that off. So I respect,

you know, a ferocious woman like that. But she said, you know, she was like, you know, if you wouldn't, if I said, I'm sorry to take out the trash. And then, you know, it could, should have been, I wish it would have been, oh, I'm sorry, I'll just take it out and then they'll fight. But what she said was, she was like, instead of spending all that time on your phone, you could remember to take out the trash. And that's when, because I think I've been doing a better job of not being on the phone. I've been leaving my phone in the drawer. I've been taking technology away from me. You've been trying.

I've been trying to do all that. I got off Instagram. I barely go on Pornhub anymore. I only have one or two OnlyFans. It is in the other room. It's not taking over. My phone is trying to do all that. I got off Instagram. I barely go on Pornhub anymore. I only have one or two OnlyFans. It is in the other room. It's not taking over. My phone is not taking over my life. I don't look at it for the first hour I wake up anymore because that's what Ryan Holiday said to do.

And I'm not doing that anymore. And then so I was like, give me a little bit of credit for trying, for trying to control what I can control. And it didn't happen. It was just a moment of weakness. And I had an opportunity right there. I had an opportunity to not react. I could have said, Chris, don't react. Remember, it's how you react.

There'll be consequence to your reaction. So you can't control what she said, but you can control your reaction. And I forgot that. Epic tears went right out of my brain. Yeah. Went right out of my brain. A couple of whiskeys in the mix.

And what I saw my father do came right into my brain. What did he say? What did you channel, Chris? And I took off my shirt and I wasn't even realizing I was wearing a wife beater. It was a sore state. No, and I just started exploding. You know, you never. I became a little bitch.

I'm going to be honest with you. And women don't want to see that. What would have been better is for me to just say something to her like, all right, I'll do it and show her calmness because then it's like she can't win. But instead I caved, got into a big argument, you know, proved her right. And then, you know, fucked up because I've been also another thing we've been doing. Here's another, here's another little insight I've had. You ready for this? Here's another little insight I have for people with kids out there. He's sweating like his comic do-over.

I know. Hey, my name's Lavelle Crawford. I'll be at MSN on September 23rd. The baby one. No, so another because, again, this went right out the window. But again, this is going back to we're all flawed here, okay? I'm trying

the best I can, but I'm always going make mistakes. You have to accept that as a human being. But I said, and we talked about this. My girl and I, Jazz and I talked about this. We said, rather than, cuz in the morning, I don't know if you guys have, anybody have kids? No. No, nobody has kids. So people out there, one team you have kids. In the mornings with children, very tough. A weekday morning, very tough. We got the 12-year-old waking up late. He's gonna miss the bus. We got my eight-year-old waking up right on time. She doesn't wanna do anything. She doesn't wanna do her hair. She doesn't wanna eat. Then we have the two-year-old waking up who's just

being two, who's just being crazy, drunk, lunatic person, just yelling, screaming, wants to be held, wants to be put on the floor, she bites. So you have to just, there's a lot of chaos going on. And then that would a lot of times unchecked. We would just start yelling at each other, yelling at the kids, sprinting to the bus and be like, come on, get on the bus, all that. And then always negative, sending them out into the world on the bus. And I said, hey, let's use these moments of crisis to show the children how you react during a crisis. This is a crisis because with children, they can't really communicate.

Their behavior is the language. How they're behaving is what they're telling you. So I'm like, okay, they're behaving in a way that maybe they're hungry. Maybe they have to use the bathroom. Maybe they're scared because they have a test, whatever. But they can't speak to you that way. They behave. So we have to,, whatever. But they can't speak to you that way. They behave. So we have to, as parents, do a better job.

I said to her, I said to Jazz, I said, we, these are moments of crisis. They can articulate it. We can. Let's show them to be calm. Let's give them a confidence boosting activity before they get on the bus. My older daughter, I'll have her balance on the curb and have her do it two or three times. She goes into that bus happy. She, a challenge, make her bed, something, confidence. And we've been doing so great at that. We've been doing so great at that. We're showing the kids in moments

of when they're causing a crisis, how you react. And we've been doing so good. And that's great. For some reason today, when I woke up, I was like, fuck everything I just did last month. I'm going back to the old me. And that's, and then, and then. I like that confidence boosting activity. I do a confidence boosting activity with my, with my eight year old. Cause she's the one I take to the bus every, every day. Have them go into a situation where they would be potentially insecure.

Yes. With confidence. I mean, you're a young person going into school. You they would be potentially insecure with confidence. I mean, you're a young person going into school. You don't know if people like you. They don't like you. It's like, yeah. So I went into, because I would notice that if she has to be on the bus at 7.05 and the bus driver's there on the corner.

What kind of confidence-boosting activities would your dad do for you when you were going to school? Yeah, my dad. How would he make you feel really confident right before you got onto the bus? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad probably, honestly, back then, his idea of a confidence booster, I would say, would be telling me, like taking me to the racetrack. You know, take me to the racetrack. And if I picked a horse that didn't win, rather than hitting me over the head with a rolled up newspaper or calling me a failure or a loser. He would be like, there's better luck next time, but we do have to

go right now because daddy just blew all the money and these men are looking for us. That's confidence getting away from the loan shark. So let's confidently get, take an Amtrak to Lancaster, Pennsylvania and lay low. And so, but so, you know. Oh my goodness. I think

because I would just know, but again, it's just noticing like every time we would rush her to the bus, I noticed she gets on the bus. She doesn't talk to the people sitting next to her. She's like, want to give her a hug and tell her I love you. She like pushes me away. But you can children as quickly as you know, their brains are so malleable that you can make a bad day that they're having a good day in literally 30 seconds just do have them you know race to five things green on the corner have them you know uh count backwards from 100 anything it can build and then all of a sudden they're happy they're confident i

love you and then it becomes jumping into my arms hugs kisses all that where'd you learn that and then get them on the bus um where did i think to be honest with you I think from that Daily Stoic stuff again shouting out Ryan Holiday he didn't say that but I think just putting together can you shout out Marcus Aurelius please

shout out yes okay you're giving Ryan a lot of credit I think Marcus did the heavy lifting over here Marcus Aurelius Epictetus

all these guys but I will say but when you read Marcus Aurelius did he even do it no that's the other thing oh you think somebody else did it? I mean, I think you just give credit to the guy in charge.

So back in the day, it's like all the smartest people. That's a good point, too. Yeah, that's true. Well, I think, but he does a good job, Holiday, of modernizing their words. Because a lot of times you're reading it and I'm like, dude, I don't speak fucking Latin. Yes, yes. Not teasing Ryan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, but there's truth to it. Actually, let's go with that. Markets are just bullshit. Well, we were having, I don't know which episode we were having this conversation on, but like the whole thing with Shakespeare, have you heard about that?

Like maybe it was a collective of people? Yeah. It kind of makes sense when you look at the breadth of work. Yeah. Ooh. Oh, that's right, that's right. Tesla worked for Edison.

Tesla was the one that came up with all the stuff and Edison just knew how to market it. Yeah. Ooh, oh, that's right, that's right. Tesla worked for Edison. Tesla was the one that came up with all this stuff and Edison just knew how to market it. Yeah, Edison was a more marketer. I mean, he was a genius. And maybe there was 20 people on that team as well. That's true. So I would imagine if you were Marcus Aurelius, who's the, I think, what, he's the emperor of Rome?

He was the emperor, yeah. So I imagine you have a bunch of people, if you want them to live this more evolved life, which you could say the stoicism promotes, it's a better life. You look at it almost like religion. Like, do these things, you will enjoy your life more. And if those things are being brought to you from the guy in charge, maybe if you were one of the citizens of Rome, you'd be like, no, I want to kind of live like the emperor. That makes good sense.

Okay, the emperor wrote it. But I don't know if that was literally his life. Like, he just happened to be the smartest guy ever who had all this wisdom. Right, right. Yeah, he might have been also the only one that could read or write at that time. He was like, listen, you know, you're all. And there was weird stuff happening like with the emperors in Rome, right? There was, what was that guy, Zeno?

Zeno, he was the one that they all looked up to. But then he went crazy. Nero, that went crazy. Nero, sorry, Nero. Nero went crazy. Nero was not a stoic though. But that wasn went crazy. He did. Nero, that went crazy. Nero, sorry. Nero went crazy. Nero's not a stoic, though. But that wasn't, yeah, I guess. Epictetus worked for, I think Epictetus used to

work for Nero. See, that's the thing with. It wasn't Nero's fault, though. They said that Chlamydia? No, it was the pipes. Okay. Because they had the first, it's like. Lead pipes. They had lead. They didn't realize that there would be the lead in the fights would cause the same lead issues that we have today. Yeah. Right? So apparently he went crazy while he was in control.

Yeah. But the only reason that happened is because he was rich. Right, right. Most people didn't have lead pipes funneling water into their beautiful homes. So the poor people weren't getting the lead poisoning. Yeah, yeah. And same thing with the Salem witch trial. They didn't think when the witches, you know, that whole time, it was that.

And same thing happened in France. It was lead poisoning? No, it wasn't lead poisoning it was a certain flower that was growing a certain weed that was growing infecting uh uh the crops and for whatever reason it reacted in women because of you know they're different bags of chemicals than men yeah and caused them to have some type of hysteria in these witch-like kind of give put them in like a type of psychosis, put everybody in a mild psychosis. And where they see, I'm forgetting the plant, but where they see this weed growing is where you had witch trials happening.

So they can't really, history can't really overlook it as much. You think that dude's just like, I don't want to buy my girl flowers anymore. Let me just find a way. Devil's trumpet? Devil's trumpet. That's what it is. And that's not what I call you and your people. So... That's just the way it is.

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This is good. This is good. This is your swing. Let's get a fucking Zin in you. What's a Zin? Oh, don't give it to him. Don't give it to him. No, no, no. It's going to be too crazy.

You're going to enjoy it too much. Yeah, I can't. Yeah, I don't want to swear. You're going to be throwing the trash out so much. Yeah, and I don't know how he reacts to my blood pressure medicine. I'm still stuck on the fact you didn't get the day off. Like, it's Father's Day. You don't get one day off of that. Oh, I thought you were talking about this is Juneteenth.

Oh, no. Yeah, Father's Day, yeah, I didn't, I didn't, well, I mean, listen, we were able to do, you know, she was like, you know, cooked a great breakfast, we had a great time, went to the park with the kids, but yeah, you don't, there's no days off with the parenting.

I mean, mom's more though dude i gotta i'll be honest okay you know it's fun you know you know we could make our jokes but when i when i look at how hard of a job being a mom is i'm like i can't i just can't fucking do that like dude the children just want their mom for every thing it doesn't matter what I do. It doesn't matter at all. The mom is the only one that can calm them down. And the mom's life is the one that's on hold the longest because it's like, like I get, I get kind of back in the day historical times when guys were like, listen, you just stay home and take care of the kids. I'll do everything. And now with feminism, sometimes feminism makes it harder for women because you're like, yo, I got to take care of

these kids and do this thing. And then also now you want me to have a nine to five and try to live my dreams. It's like, for whatever reason, nature decided the women are going to be, have to be the ones to take care of the kids. And again, no matter what I do, I can't help the kids as much as the mom can. Here's a take. If you can afford it, not everybody can afford it, but if one can afford it, right? If one can afford a woman not going back to work. Right. If it's not her passion, it's not her love, it's not something she's really interested in, and— Then she's a witch.

Burn her. Burn her immediately. Devil's trumpet. Isn't it kind of beneath, once a woman has children, isn't it beneath her to go back to a job if she doesn't have to? Like, I get it's your career, your passion, it's your love. But just like go. If she doesn't need the money. If she doesn't need the money.

And not everybody has the privilege to not work. But if you can not work, going back to a job that you, to me, it's kind of beneath you. Like, you're going to make copies of a fucking paper for your boss. Like, you just created a human being. Yes. And now you're doing these medial tasks? Yeah, it's like, it's like, it's a good point. Because it's like, even watching, you know, what Jazz went through.

It's like, hey, babe, you blew your pussy off. Yeah. These people that have changed my life in the most positive way. You're not going to go back to working at Target. Exactly. You know what? You just won 40 years of freedom. That's it.

That's it. Your pussy blew off. It blew off like, you know. And I watched them sew it back on. I literally watched that happen. That's how crazy it is. Your vagina blows like almost off. Yeah.

And then you're so numb from the pain that they just start sewing it yeah giving you open vagina surgery sewing it while you are non-nomads yeah and so and so for me i that's a good point and that but i just think it's beneath them if they can afford not to do i understand a lot of people cannot afford to do it and that's a huge luxury but yeah just going back to a job you hate after you created a human being. But I do think this seems stupid. I do think, though, most people and again, I'm not saying, you know, not everyone can have a full house of servants. I'm not saying that. But most people can delegate and they're choosing not to delegate. What does that mean?

Delegate meaning like give responsibilities of the child. No, no, no. Like like of your parenting, like you. the child no no like like of your parenting like you we have this thing in today's society for some reason where if we're not doing it all then we're failing at something oh no get help yo get help get help you know whether that's a family member whether that's just on women cleaning lady once a month anything because women feel guilty though they feel like they're not doing their motherly duty and it's like shorty if this was fucking a hundred years ago you'd be living with your mom your dad your brothers and your sisters will fucking 100 years ago, you'd be living with your mom, your dad,

your brothers and your sisters, you'll have kids, your fucking grandparents. There'd be your whole family taking, like you guys do. You told me that that's a common thing. Yeah, right? Yeah, raise the family together. Yeah, because like they say, that saying goes back to, it takes a village to raise a kid because it does.

But now we try to be like, oh, I'm a single mom or I'm a single dad. Especially in this city when we're all living in these apartments where we can't have two generations of families in the apartment. Yeah. It's tricky. Yeah, a friend of ours, I don't want to shout him, I don't want to say who he is because he might want to keep shit on the low, but he was just

like, yeah, the second I have a kid, like, my parents already told me they're moving into my, into the city where I live. Whoa, let me just remind you what Benjamin Franklin said. What did he say? Houseguests aren't like fish. After three days, they begin to stink. So, just know, just know that. Is that your dad's name with you yeah that's why i said that and so and so yeah no no it's fine but but that's the thing it's like

we you know i will say though having the village with me now it's been such a monumental help and i'm happy and fortunate my dad and stepmom are there helping me because it's such a huge help. But with that being said, kind of having even a house in general, what I was saying before is like, you know, people used to have houses and mansions and all that because they had a team of servants that would run the grounds for them. Now it's like you'll go get a big house, which would be a modern day mansion, which would be a mansion to someone from 300 years ago. Even if you have a three, four bedroom house, it's huge. I'm like, we don't need all this. We've just given ourselves more work.

You think that you upgraded, but you actually downgraded your life because now all this time I could have been hanging out with my family when I had hanging out my kids. When we had a little apartment, we could clean that thing in 20 minutes, make it a team activity. Now we spend entire days trying to maintain the house when the kids are sitting on their iPads. And so that's why I'm like, let's get rid of the house. Let me sell it and let's move here. To the city? To the city.

Because at least we have an apartment and we're there and we're in community. And we don't have to spend all day worrying about cleaning this and doing even the pool. Like once you have it, the children. How often are you even it the children how often are you even using the fucking it's been summer it's been you know warm out what the last 15 days we've used it once or twice because the kids like i did it yesterday exactly when we make the pool a big activity like we're going to the community pool great time and then it's over you wipe it up and it's over and also what is a pool for me for me pool is something else to worry about i got

little kids. I know I have to constantly worry. Are they going in there? I have alarms floating. It's drama. Do you teach them how to swim before they can swim? Well, they're Puerto Rican. They know how to swim. That's how they got here.

No, I'm kidding. So, no, but yes, yes. Have you seen those videos of the infants? Just throw them in. Oh, yeah. You throw them out with their clothes on. You have to do that. I watched them do that Oh, yeah. You throw them in with their clothes on. You have to do that. I watched them do that with the baby.

You throw them in with the... Oh, you tried that? It's a survival swimming class. And then they have a mechanism. Just like, dude, when you give... As soon as the baby comes out of the birthing canal, immediately they put it on... You don't even call it a pussy anymore.

No. I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Panama down there. It blew off. It's a canal. The pussy's gone.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, let me, anybody who's got a girl pregnant right now, you maintain eye contact. Are you watching down the barrel like James Bond? No. No.

I did it for the first one, and that was a mistake. Stand at the head. Okay? Yeah. You got to be over by her shoulder. I knew what to do now. I looked at her. I just looked. Eye contact. Look. Beautiful. Because you do not want to look down there you don't want to

look down there and go barefoot because i've ruined i ruined two pairs of sneakers with both my kids because you just it's a bloody mess yeah placenta all over so i go and i went in there barefoot and it's fine and and so um wait what was i saying oh you were making eye contact not looking down the mic making eye contact yes what looking down the canal. Making eye contact, yes. Yeah, but there was something else that I was saying before that. God damn it, I got distracted by your legs. Swimming. Oh, swimming, yeah.

Oh, swimming, yes. Swimming is, you know, they have the survival instinct. As soon as you throw them in the water, they float to the top. And with the baby, as soon as you put her on the chest, like she's, when my daughters were 30 seconds old, she knew to move her little squid body down and get to the nipple and start sucking the nipple. That's why nipples get darker

when they're pregnant. Yes. Because it's easier for babies to see where the nipple is. And that's why blood, that's why women too get that. And it's a byproduct of blood flow because the blood flow stopped.

They start to get, women towards later in pregnancy, start to get very cold arms and legs and go numb all the blood is right because literally what it's it's very fascinating pregnancy because you realize like you don't really have any control of your body at that point because the body the human body all it's doing is a period is is preparing every month for pregnancy and every month it's not pregnant it's like fuck you moving on to the next one yeah but when you are pregnant especially towards the end it's like, fuck you, moving on to the next one. But when you are pregnant, especially towards the end, it's literally

your body is saying to you, if anything happens at all, I am 100% saving the baby. The blood flow is going... Fuck your wrists. Fuck them all. Fuck your feet. Yeah. Because it says, what do you not... You can be a torso and deliver this baby. So we're not giving the blood from your feet to your hands.

We're not doing any of that. The baby, the baby, the baby. And when mothers would die of childbirth, it was simply a lot of things would be blood pressure issues back in the day before modern medicine. Because there's like all the blood's going to the baby, and then that messes with your flow, and then the mom dies. Because that's what nature is. Nature is saying, hey, we had our fun with you. We gave you an opportunity. You didn't work out. So now we got the next one coming out,

and we're gonna try with this one. It's very ugly nature. If you really just wanna know about nature, just watch these animal videos. Dude, I saw a video once of a zebra, okay? This is why it's very hard to be a step-parent, but I'm doing, I think, a pretty good job. Because being a step-dad is harder than being a biological dad, because I have to show the same love and compassion to a child that's not mine. And I do it because being a step-parent is the most thankless job in the world. But I had a great step-mom who gave me that advice to be like, you're gonna get the props for being a step-parent when the children get a little bit older. Cuz I get it, my stepson is in nature. He's like, you're not my dad. And I'm like, great, I'm not. I keep that fighting spirit to protect your sisters. Great. Be protective. I like that,

but it's thankless because you aren't, it's, it goes against nature. I, and, and when you, without, you know, rules of society and, and, and kind of, you know, our social awareness, actual pure nature. When you watch it, I saw this video of a zebra that got impregnated by, you know, a male that That male died in the course of the gesticulation, the baby developing. A new male came in and was the head of the zebra clan. As the mother was giving birth, however many months later, stopping it out and that baby was alive for maybe five seconds. And it stopped because it's like, that ain't mine. We're moving on with only my offspring.

You wanna know something crazy about that? I don't know with zebras, but I think with certain primates, it turns the mom on. Interesting. There's a biological reaction that induces like her, I don't know, sexual urges. Yeah. It's like, oh yeah, this is the person

that's gonna get me pregnant. And then this is the person who's gonna look after my kids. then this is the person that's going to look after my kids. How fucking crazy. How crazy is that? Your own seed getting demolished. Right. And that makes you horny. It's unbelievable.

I like it. Make that an OnlyFans. Yeah. Okay, what do we got? We got some feelings, no facts here? Yeah, we got some wild shit. Bro, the Conor McGregor situation, did you see that? Wild.

Do you know what we're talking about here, Chrissy? I know he knocked out the mascot, and then I know he got sexual assault allegations in Miami, right? Yeah, yeah, big girl. Big girl? And this is how funny the internet is. The internet heard the news and they saw him knocking out the mascot

the day before and they were like yo maybe he was so yayed up he probably did this and then the video of the girl came out and then the whole internet was like

nah she lying bro there's no way he's forcing himself on that there's no fucking way I mean she was a big she was a big girl oh yeah yeah solid solid maybe he thought the mascot a big girl Oh yeah yeah Solid solid

Maybe he thought The mascot was the girl Yeah yeah yeah He felt heat bro That's what it was So what do you think Is going on with Connor Cause there's video of him

Going into the bathroom Shorty is changing Her story a lot He and his team Is saying the exact same thing The whole time They're like Nah this is bullshit

She's just trying to Listen I don't know Anything about I don't know anything About what happened here i mean i've seen the videos but again who knows but it's the this is why in gladiator times the gladiators weren't allowed to be free in society you were not allowed no you stay watch the movie you stayed in a cage in the matches you just fucking stay you were fed and then that's it because you can't you know uh uh give somebody millions of dollars for being an animal and beating the shit out of people and wear modern day gladiators and then just let them go to

a heat game you can't just then send him to miami what do you know what do you think he's gonna do it's like you know you pay people to hit people that's funny even with Zion It's like yeah the amount of testosterone To make a human being like Zion Do you think he's not gonna fuck every single girl That's in his path Especially I think it's worse with sheltered Remember Dwight Howard super sheltered when he came in He's like let's change the logo to Jesus

Yeah yeah yeah I think those guys and Zion is like a really adorable sweet kid Yeah he's a good kid And then all of a sudden he's a millionaire with tons of testosterone and then access to all this pussy he didn't even fucking probably know existed back then. That's the thing, it's like super crazy. Society, we reward the athletes

in a big way with money and fame and all those things and kind of glorify what they do, like football players hitting people as hard as you can and then get mad at them when they go into society without, you know, and then get mad at them when they go into society without, you know, you pluck them from school early, you incentivize them to leave school not that educated,

and, you know, and be around, you know, like-minded people also aren't educated. And then we go, why aren't you acting more educated? Yeah, yeah. Hey, Alan, why did you blow through $150 million in 10 years? It's like, well, I was going to Georgetown, and then you made me leave the last three years, and they were going to teach me finance. The best school, finance school in the country, arguably. You took me out of it and put me with the 76ers. What do you think I was going to do? I'm going to blow my money because you made it appealing to me.

So I think that's something with Conor McGregor. Now, again, there's other UFC fighters that don't do that stuff. So I understand that argument. But when I see things like this, I'm like, dude, what do you think is going to happen, man? Don't, you know, then keep, you got, again, go back to the Gladiators. They got kept in cages. That's what, you're not, you're not allowed to be out. Let's say it's all bullshit and the girl just, you know, trumped it up to, you know, basically try to get a leg.

Watch your mouth. That's my credit. But what should happen when there's a false accusation like that? Right. There has to be some kind of punishment, right? Yeah, I think so. The UFC should be like the NBA and each fighter have their handler to make sure shit like this doesn't happen.

Oh, like the big guy. But nobody's handling Conor. That's the thing. Conor's going to do whatever Conor does. And you also have to understand where he's coming from because every decision that he's made in his life is the most insane decision ever. Hey, I'm this guy from Ireland,

and I'm on fucking welfare, but you know what? I'm going to be the greatest fighter of my generation, completely revolutionize the sport, and make hundreds of millions of dollars. And everybody looked at him his entire life and was like, you're out of your fucking mind. Yeah. And then it worked. Right. So and was like, you're out of your fucking mind. Yeah.

And then it worked. Right. So there's nobody that he's going to listen to. Then what are you, champion? He's like, you know what? I'm going to make a whiskey. Not even going to be good.

I'm going to make hundreds of millions of dollars off of a whiskey. And everybody's like, what? It's not even good. Yeah. Hundreds of millions of dollars off a whiskey.

Yeah, so it's like, I'm almost like, yeah, don't listen to anybody. Yeah. Why should you ever take anybody's advice? Well, it is too. It's one of those things too.

It is a very Trumpy in a way where McGregor, he does so many wild things that you're like, which one do I pick? Like he knocked out the mascot. That's all anyone was talking about. That would have been a thing. And then he's like, you know what? Let's bring on the sexual assault allegations. And I guarantee you in the next week for now, something else happened.

You'll forget about the first two. So I don't know if that's a tactic or what. But I think that, yeah, two yeah so i don't know if that's a tactic or what but i think that yeah i mean i don't know because now the only thing that i saw was that she was seen hours later with him right so then that you know it's it's tough but then you also got to put yourself in the woman's shoes it's like why do you want to get your name dragged through the mud if something didn't happen it's tough i i bro that's the thing right i don't even know if there's mud anymore for women right like i don't even know like i don't know what they can't come back from like they can do porn yeah it doesn't matter and

it's okay like what is mud for women now trying to ruin a guy's life is different if he finds out you were lying about this that's tough to recover i mean i guess you stick i agree as a liar for sure but if you're not exposed as a liar if you you're exposed as a victim, it's like that. Yeah. I mean, that's just I don't know. I don't know. Like there used to be repercussions both ways. Oh, dude. Yes. Like I think you have to get the punishment that he would have gotten if it was true. OK. Yeah. Otherwise, if you if you just slap him on the wrist, you go bad girl, you can't do that. Why wouldn't every single girl that hooks up with a famous, successful, rich guy claim this? I think, too, but the other side, the point, then it's like, well, what happens then? Now women won't come forward, right?

The guy just has a good lawyer or whatever. Then they'll say that'll help. That'll make less women come forward with actual allegations because they'll be fear of, well, if I'm wrong, I'm going to get in trouble. But I was right. But I guess that's what the law is. But I don't know. I think this girl makes more girls not come forward. Yeah, that's right.

I think this girl makes less girls come forward, right? Because she's clearly lying. And then other girls are going, oh, they're going to think I'm a liar. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. It's like if the more people that fake it, the more it takes away from the girls that

it actually happened. If no women are out there faking it, and a woman does come forward, and every other circumstance, we've heard the women come forward, it was true, we're going to believe it every single fucking time. Well, that's what, but it goes back,

you know, again, this is this country, this is why I love this country. We have the best justice system in the world. We just have number one. So I think, no matter what the media says, we are numero uno, papi. Justice. You're a brave dude.

You're a brave dude. Ask Alex about Sweden. Where were we? In jail for three months? One month. One month? That wouldn't have happened to you, okay? You would have been not killed.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You caught yourself. How did you forget the cameras are rolling? I thought I was back on stand-up. So, no, but so, you know, and I think whatever, if it goes to that, if it goes to that. But how do you prove what he said, she said? That's the biggest issue. That's the thing.

If a girl, let's say you accuse a billionaire. He's got the best lawyers. He's got the best whatever. So is it just he wins, you lost, you go to jail now? Because then you definitely won't come forward. Yeah. There's also like a gray area where it's like okay they're both drinking she's like yeah let's hook up i'll give you a head and then he's like oh we're gonna have sex now and she's like i don't really know but then she feels insecure and intimidated then she does it like is that consent or is it not consent like it's all great but this is why i think too

what you got especially why is he single and he he just he just cheats on his wife. I guess they have an agreement, him and his wife. Must be. That's where it gets more interesting. Well, but I think that his wife probably I'm sure like because he's not coming out being like, I'm so sorry I cheated. Like he's just open about like I'll be. So I think he must have some type of agreement with his wife. But this is where it goes. My father advice, he said, you know, he was like, listen, the house always wins.

You can beat the house 99 times out of 100. But the one time that the house wins negates the 99 wins. So just keep your numbers low. That's what he said when it comes to women, when it comes to drinking, eating and his preaching, keep your numbers low. That's what he said to me my whole life. Now, I didn't listen at all times. But I have. But I did eat. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, he was fat, keep your numbers low. That's what he said to me my whole life. Now, I didn't listen at all times. But I have.

Neither did he. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, he was fat, fat, fat. But I am listening. I was talking about the gambling. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, that too. But I am, I have, you know, listened to that now.

And that's the truth. Because the less, you know, listen, bro, fame is. It's going to catch up to you. It's going to catch up to you. It's going to catch up to you. If you keep living the wild life, it's going to catch up. It's going to catch up to you. If you keep living the wild life, it's going to catch up. It's going to catch up. And dude, you know, like you're, you know, very famous now.

And it's not, you know, I bet you there's a small part of you, a small part of you that would give some of it back to have a little bit more anonymity. Right? A small part of you. The fame is not something I've ever cared about. I think fame just follows the things that you care about like i think people who just want to be famous that's their only desire i think that's super gay but like being great at something or being you know really successful there's gonna come there's notoriety that's gonna to follow that always. Right. Right. And, um, but it's not necessarily like, I don't know, maybe I'm just in a good position where like people are really cool to me.

They're always really nice when they meet me. It's like, it's been, it's been really good. I've been very fortunate. There's a level that's beyond it where like people don't even treat you like you're real. Right. And I think that's probably really, that's probably, yeah. Well, and it's good. You know, you're married, you're, you're staying, you know, like, yeah, I don't have any drama. Well, that's good, because I think I think, you know, sometimes with your single wild boy, you're out there. These things are going to come. That's the tough part, because sometimes I look at like the freedom of like, say, my friends from home, like freedom, like even some of the things they text or some of the things they'll say in public when they're drinking, like nobody cares about them. Like they can live completely free of any real consequences where in entertainment sometimes or whatever you're doing, if you're well known, we live in a society now where they will say you have to now live to higher standards and you can't

really be as free as you would want to be. And I don't know, sometimes I struggle with that. I think you also are coming from a position where you have kids, right? So your freedom is restricted by providing for your children and your family. Right. You're like, I can't say this wild shit on this TV show because if that takes all these other things away from me, then my kids are going to starve and then I'll be a failure. And then I assume you'll hit an amount of money. Like you probably have a number in your head where it's like, I'm good no matter what when I hit this number.

And there's some freedom there. Then you create however you want, say whatever the fuck you want. Well, I was talking to Akash before this, before we started. It's like, but then you always move the goalposts back. It's like, I probably have that number already. There's a, you know. Yeah, but there's still a number where it's like, at least to me, it's like, I never have to work again and I'll be okay.

Right. And then after that, it's like I'll never have to work again and I can buy a couple more houses. Yeah. I'll never have to work again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll fly private. But it's that do I ever have to work again and can I pay for my children's life? Can I take care of my parents?

Yeah. Can I take care of my friends? Yeah. Yeah, because I'm not, and by the way, I'm not talking about, I'm not talking about like being able to like be an animal and say horrific things and do horrific things because you don't do that anyway. You have morals. No, you're talking about making jokes. I'm talking about making jokes or just doing anything. And then it's like what you do or say gets scrutinized where I look at some of my friends and I'm like, man, they are having a better, even though, yes, maybe I have more money.

I'm the one that gets recognized. I'm the one that gets recognized, I'm the one that, whatever, but it's like, they're actually living a bit better life than I am also in our career. That's why I think what you have is so amazing when you want to have children, because you can make a living enough for them here with doing what you're doing just here in New York and them being close by where, you know, the trade-off in our careers with going on a world tour or doing all these stand-up dates is it takes so much time away from your family. And yes, you have 20 million or whatever it may be, but that time, if you value time and money as the same currency or time as a more valuable currency than money, you're like, dude, I gave up. That cost me way too much, actually. That 20

million cost me so much money because I lost it all with them. So I'm trying to find the balance of that. Dude, it's interesting. We had a PBD here on the podcast and he said something great when it comes to children. And I've always felt this with my parents, but he said more is caught than taught, right? Meaning like what you tell them and teach them specifically isn't even going to be close to as much as they're going to absorb from just watching you. Yeah. Right. And in my mind, I had always been, you know, like, okay, I got gotta stack up as much as i can right now so i can be so active in my kids lives i can be there every second whatever and when he was talking about that and i started reflecting on like what i saw from my parents i i was like holy shit no no i still need to like work hard so that my kids catch that right i've seen people whose

parents have enough money where they don't have to work and then they just kind of hang out and what do the kids end up doing yeah hanging out hanging out with a bunch of money right and it's just like in order for them like all my work ethic comes from my parents seeing my fucking dad wake up at seven in the morning go to sleep at two and fucking 2 in the morning the next day. Like, I mean, just seeing that and that being normal and regular, I'm like, okay, well, that's how hard we have to work. Same thing with my mom. Did you feel like you saw your mom and dad a lot, though, and bonded with them a lot? They were the best.

They were there all the time. So they just made it work. They made it work. So that's a good example. But I also, like, seeing them together wasn't always the case. We might have had dinner for, like, an hour, but my mom would work at night and my dad would work during the day. But that was a good, solid hour. But it was amazing. They were awesome. I'm so lucky in that regard. But I'm just dinner for like an hour, but my mom would work at night and my dad worked during the day. But that was a good, solid hour. But it was amazing. They were awesome.

I'm so lucky in that regard. But I'm just saying like in my mind, I'm going, okay, what I'll do is I can take all my time and just put it into the kids. But now I'm thinking, no, no, no, no. I need them to see what work is. I need them to be around. I need to be working. It doesn't matter what it is, if it's on the road, if it's developing a stand-up, or if it's making a movie, or whatever the hell it is, but they need

to see me grinding, while also I need to be at every single game like my parents were. Right. But they still need to see me work. Right. But they will think they don't have to. But what I'm saying, but in order for you, I 100% agree, but in order for you to be at their games, you're going to have to sacrifice some money and some show dates. Can't wait.

But we live in a society where more and more and more you get valued by how much money and fame you have or how many Twitter followers or retweets you have. When really it's like if I've tried to make my life a lot smaller and be like, who am I to my family? That's what matters. So it's like, yes, maybe means you know you know i could have more money if i went out every weekend but it's like but then that's going to require way too much time away from the kids so i'm not willing to do that but we have but the people in our corner recognize it too and it's not until you're older even to your thanklessness thing earlier like uh oh being a step parent's not even being a parent dude yeah it's like you're fourth in your

own life yeah it's true like i remember my dad was at every single basketball game that I would even let him come to. He'd bring a fucking camera and tripod and film it. So we would all be able to watch our highlights. Right. Right? And that's before you could even monetize it. I would have that on subtitles. Hey, what?

I know, 100%. Yeah. So he'd come through, right? Yeah. And it wasn't until like, what? I know, 100%. So he'd come through, right? Yeah. And it wasn't until like, maybe he was in, I was always grateful. I love my dad. He's fucking my hero. He's the greatest guy I ever met.

He's fucking, but Jameel, you know Jameel, right? So Jameel and I went to high school together. And he said something that was like a couple months ago. He was like, we were talking about like my dad and how he was really active in everybody's lives and just like he was always there. And he was like, did you not notice that there are no other dads at the basketball games? And it didn't even dawn on me that he was the only dad at the games. And like to be fair, these games are right after school. They're probably 3.30, 4.30.

A lot of dads have jobs where they just can't get there. He was able to maneuver around his schedule they had this little dance studio so he could work things out but like i i'm like so grateful as a fucking 39 year old dude that i find myself every time i see my dad like i'm like you're the best dad ever like yeah like i feel like i need to ingrain that in him that i know now maybe i'm late but i i know what you did right before you go god forbid. Right. And before you go, God forbid it's not soon, before you go,

you need to know I know. Right. Yeah, it is weird. A good man you don't appreciate until you get older. Especially as a, I think both genders. As a man,

you realize what it takes to be a good man. And as a girl, you realize how many ancient men there are out there. Well, it's like, you're like, oh, I had a good one.

Unbelievable. Well, it's one of those things too. And also too, you know, going to your kids' games and all that, like you said, said your dad not only was he there because it's it's great to show up but he was present and actively that you got it yeah so you can go to your kids games and i found myself doing this like yes i'm at all my daughter's soccer games but sometimes i was on my phone doing work sometimes i was now you're locked in so but now so now when i go to the

games or the events the phone is in the car because i'm like even filming it i'm like other parents are filming it, and we don't have to live every, like, it's I don't, it's too much technology. So I'm like, let me be present so every time she looks up in the stands at me, I'm watching her. Because a lot of times, we'd have a great,

baby, you were so great, and she'd be like, one time she said to me in swimming, she's like, you weren't even watching. But I was there the whole time. But I didn't even realize that I wasn't watching. But that's the thing. Technology allows us to be there and not present. But sometimes I'm like, you know what? I'm almost, again, thankful she said that to me a few years ago. Because it's like, you only have to say that shit to me once.

And it ain't happening again. And so, and again, and then I think, too, you know, I look at, you know, with being a parent. Like you said, like you, you, there's another stoic thing. It's about the third thing. You know what the third thing is? So they say, be wary of the third thing. The first thing is doing the deed, right?

Doing whatever the good deed is, whatever it can apply to a million situations. The second thing is somebody benefiting from that good deed. Again, whatever it is, the third thing, and this is the thing to be weary of, is needing validation, needing validation, needing to be told how great you are for doing that thing. The third thing is based on the ego. And that's the thing I want to do. And that's what parenting is, is like, yeah, if you want to be recognized for being a good parent, you've missed the point. It's the point of what it makes, you know, it makes you feel good to be a good parent. You are validating yourself by doing that. You don't need everybody there to be like, oh, what a great job. Right.

And it's hard with kids because kids are inherently narcissists. Yeah, of course. You know what I mean? Like intrinsically from a young age, like everything is about me, giving me things, and then it's not thanked because that's the nature of being children. Yeah, yeah. Like even with my, you know, kids, I always tell them I love them. And I always try to say, hey, you know, when someone says, you says, especially mom or dad, say I love you, say you love them back. If you feel that, I always say, if you're feeling it, you say it.

And most times they say it back. But the times that they don't, I'm not like, I just, I'm the adult. So it's like, I need to let them know before they leave that I love them so they have that. If they're not feeling it, because like you said, there's a narcissism in all of us, but really pronounced in children. If they're not feeling it, because like you said, there's a narcissism in all of us, but really pronounced in children. And I'm like, because I think we all have it still. It's just society and civilization makes it, you know, we have rules and we have, you know, trying to be proper, you know, but kids don't give a shit. They'll tell you right off the bat this sucks because they're a little bit more animalistic.

But yeah, I think needing to be known, needing to be glorified for everything you do always is not necessarily a good thing. And that's tough. Christmas, are the gifts from the parents or Santa? So the— That's going to be a tough one. Yeah, so thank you. That's going to be a tough one. Yeah, yeah. So the—

That's going to be a tough one. I'm going to be honest. That's going to be a tough one. I'm waiting online for six hours outside Toys R Us to get you some shit. That ain't from Santa. I do. I do Santa. I do Santa.

She gets the older one because my 12-year-old, he knows now. He's over it. But the eight-year-old, she's kind of on the fence, so she gets less gifts from Santa, more gifts from us. The two-year-old. You guys do a few from you. Yeah, we do a few from Santa. So we're just kind of putting the idea. Yeah.

We're just putting the idea out there. Yeah. You know, that like, hey, this guy, he's not real. What sand is not real, the vaccine is. So let's get it straight. Yeah, let's get it straight. Okay, bend over. What else we got, Mark?

I mean, this Messi deal is crazy. He turned down a billion dollars from the Saudi government to go play in the United States. What does your dad think of that? My dad probably, I would say, even though Messi's from Argentina, if I told my dad about that, my dad would say Messi's an American hero. That's what he would say for turning down the Saudis. But I think at that i get it but i think at that point it doesn't it's not about the money right i mean messi has more money he's free as you were saying before messi's free he's faced he's reached financial freedom i would think there's yeah

there's a couple things with this that i was talking to a buddy of mine who's involved in sports and he was like a lot of times these athletes validate themselves through the contract that they get even if they don't need the money right right and i and these these contracts that you can get from saudi or some of these uh oil states are so exorbitant it makes you feel in the twilight of your career that you're still that dude and maybe that's why cristiano accepted it but what's really interesting the third thing that we just spoke to that's what they're doing yeah that's exactly what that is. Yeah. That's exactly what that is.

But it's kinda cool. Yeah. Now, don't get me wrong, this deal, and you probably know the intricacies of the deal, Mark, but this deal is also very lucrative, cuz he could get pieces of the pie a little bit, right? Yeah, exactly. So he basically, the American royal family, basically, the corporations that exist within America stepped up to basically match or beat the deal.

Right. Brilliant. So Apple has all the streaming rights for the MLS. that exist within America stepped up to basically match or beat the deal. Oh, brilliant. So Apple has all the streaming rights for the MLS. And they said, hey, Messi, if you come over, we'll give you a piece of the streaming rights. And he deserves it because that's the only reason we're going to watch it. Adidas says, hey, you're coming over. We're going to give you a piece of all the shoes that we sell with your name on. All the soccer, all the jersey sales for the MLS. He gets a piece of all of that.

Oh, not just his jersey. Okay, wait. So check this. This is so interesting. So I am like outside of being the number one football journalist in the world, I'm also quite a casual fan of football. But I said to Emma on the way home yesterday, we're in some Uber, and I was like, hey, do you know who Lionel Messi is?

And she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, the soccer player. And I'm like, well, he's going to play for this team in Miami. Would you want to go see a game when he comes to play in New York? And she's like, that would be awesome. Let's go do it. That's why you pay him. The casual and the even more casual, barely even aware of what the sport is, are like,

I need to go see this guy. I want to go. I've never watched an MLS match in my life. What a brilliant idea. If they come, well, I'm sure they will come to New York. The corporations unite and they find a way to pay him as much. Yeah. I can be real.

I think he's able to purchase a team eventually for, like, the same amount. I think that was Beckham's deal, right? I heard they'd given him the Beckham deal. No, Messi sort of gets a similar deal when he finishes. I assume the precedent once it's set. Like, that was a big thing. Y'all seen Air? Yes.

At the end of the movie, how real this part is, I don't know. But as they're about to close the deal, Michael Jordan's mom is like, oh, there's clearly some oversight in the contract. You guys forgot to mention that we would get a percentage of all the shoes he sells. And the reason Nike was like really like, fuck, is this sets a precedent. And now this is just what it's going to be. Dude, do you know Jordan only made $93 million in his career, but is worth $5 billion today? Yeah, that's crazy. So talk about that ROI.

Oh. And what it, so, I mean, $93 million is insane, but you really, people need to give credit to Michael Jordan's business. Because I know- He makes $400 million a year off the sneakers. Off the shoes. Because I know-

93 in his whole career. Yes. And keep in mind, the last contract he signed, I think was like a $36 million a year contract. Remember Jerry Stackhouse was like, aren't I worth a third of Jordan? No. Remember Jerry Stackhouse was like, aren't I worth a third of Jordan? Remember Jerry Stackhouse? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, aren't I worth a third? And now

$12 million, we look at the contract like, yeah, Jerry was worth $12 million. But back in the day, you're like, what, $12 million? The highest played player in the fucking league. No, no, that, he really is like Brian Morin. You know Brian Morin. He's the one that sent me that yesterday. Shout out Brian Morin, a.k.a. Lancelot. Dude, this guy's got, you've never seen a medieval,

this guy's got a haircut like a medieval knight. But he rocks it. He looks good. And so he sent me that article, and I was like, whoa, dude. Like, people, like, why is it he not, why is he, he should be the one on Shark Tank. Like, he should be the one. Because he's not taking anybody's deal.

He's going to shit on their deal, make them feel bad, and tell them to get the fuck out of the room. Did you see the Magic Johnson thing? In the 80s, he was offered a deal with Nike. They were like, hey, we're going to give you a percentage. We're going to have your shoe, blah, blah, blah. Then he was also given a deal from Converse. At the time, they were two separate companies.

The Converse deal was basically like $100,000 annually or some shit. Magic Johnson was just at the beginning of his career. He took the Converse deal for $100,000 annually or some shit. And Magic Johnson was just at the beginning of his career. And he took the Converse deal for $100,000 a year annually instead of the Nike deal, which now would have been worth... His points in Nike. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Nike equity. What was his reasoning, did you say?

His reasoning was... Converse was more popular at the time. Converse was more popular. He's like, I didn't have any money. I was like a kid just playing in the league. So I had to take the guaranteed money and I couldn't bet on this fledgling shoe brand. Okay.

He got drafted in what in the late 70s. Jordan was 84. And even then when Jordan got drafted, Nike was nothing for basketball. So imagine even before that. But that deal now would have been worth like $3 billion or something crazy. And he talks about it. He's like, fuck. It's so funny because Magic did all right business-wise.

Yeah, he did. He's a billionaire too probably. But in the moment, he made the right choice, if you look at all his shit. But in hindsight, the equity deal is, like, crazy. That's what you, yeah. I heard Kevin Hart say, I think, on the Logan Paul podcast, work, try as much as you can to work with companies, not for companies. And I feel like that's that mindset that makes you super rich, is when you're just, we're all in this together. Give me a piece.

I'll take less money up front, but let me, bank on you know that's what warren buffett does warren buffett's just like banking on the cut on the companies that he thinks are going to go the furthest he's like give me a piece and then you know become you become uh rich like that everybody wins yeah yeah you need to have a certain amount of like financial stability to take that chance and cloud to even allow you to allow the company to even allow you to do that. So it's easier said than done. But didn't get there. I mean, speaking of crazy deals, XQC, one of the biggest streamers on Twitch, just took

a deal, a two year deal, $100 million with Kik. Wow. What's Kik? Kik is another one of these streaming platforms. Okay. Yeah, it's basically a direct competitor to Twitch. Bro, but you know what's so interesting? So it's a direct competitor with Twitch.

It's owned by Amazon. It's hosted by Amazon Web Services, which is quite common. Most websites are. But the actual skeleton for the streamer is just rented from Amazon. So it's Twitch. Yeah. And they just give it to you to build your own streaming platform. Yeah.

And then you pay for, I guess, the skeleton, and then you also pay for the web services. And I wonder if this is Amazon not concerned about competing because they're like, we'd rather have the Apple Store for streaming. You know how when you got the Apple Store, like Apple doesn't need to make all the apps. They'd rather just get a little piece. Everybody was like, oh my God, Spotify is going to take away Apple Music. And Apple's like, good. We don't want to stream your music.

Work smarter, not harder. Own the fucking, own the, what is it, the souk, or the shouk, what is that place? Own the shouk. Own the place where everybody is selling their goods. Not each one of the individual goods. So I wonder if they're not even upset about it.

But it's crazy, like the amount of money that kick must have. Yeah. So I guess the guy who owns kick owns steak, steak, which is the gambling site that I don't think is legal in America. I'm not sure. I know it's popular in Canada. Yeah. I don't think it's legal. I think it's owned by like this Australian guy. I think steak is the reason why Steve will do it. Got kicked off of YouTube. But yeah, it's interesting, man. Like, throwing that type of money, $100 million.

That's a lot of... Two years. For two years. 50 shmill a year. Yeah. Nice. And I don't think it's all up front. My theory is that a lot of these new streaming sites that are trying to break into the market, that throwing these big dollars just to try to get people to come over. So we talk about it? Yeah, but also, I don't think they're going to last. I think it's going to be, what was the one that it was you watch TV turned up or whatever? Quibi? Yeah, Quibi. You know how they were throwing a lot of money in the beginning?

But now's the time to get paid like it happened even with podcasting when Spotify was giving up all that money. Yeah, go get your bags. Now the door's closed. Get your bags. So go get the bags now before, because I think you're right, it's just all going to close down. But you still got the money. And I think that number, I think, is a little inflated.

I think he got a signing bonus. And basically, he has to stream. It doesn't have to, but if he streams a certain number of hours per year. I think they broke it down to $10,000 an hour, though. So if so, that's what, like $1,000 an hour.

Yeah, so he's getting paid per hour, basically. He's getting like an hourly wage. And if he does the same amount of hours that he did last year, he could earn that amount. Make up to that amount. Exactly. So it's not just cash up front, but it is the headline is the cash up front.

The headline is. And that makes everyone go, holy shit, should we be on kick? Yeah. I mean, yeah, getting that bag, getting that bag right now. And you're right, they all might fold or they all might fold or they could end up being successful. Who knows which one wins? What I thought that was interesting about this deal is it was non-exclusive. Right.

So you could take your streams and put them on other platforms or chop it up, which is important because now you're still a part of culture. Right. Right? Like when you go to these alternative platforms and that's the only place they could see you, you don't affect culture in the same way. Yeah. Right. You wanna still affect culture. You wanna don't affect culture in the same way. Yeah. Right. You want to still affect culture.

You want to still be posting on all the blog accounts. You still want to be YouTube. That's a smart move by them. Everybody, the first reaction is, I'm going to give you all this money. I need to create a moat. No, the moat kills you. Right.

Let it be popping over there and have everybody go access it like what Rumble did with the stream and Kai, the speed and Kai thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's available on Rumble, but you're gonna see it on all these other places, right? And then people can run over there on Rumble,

they don't have to pay for the access to Rumble. Yeah, I think they learned from Spotify cuz Spotify was giving out all this money for exclusive deals and it didn't really work out for them. Yeah, no, I don't think that worked for anybody. Except Rogan. Rogan is the only one. And that shows you what a beast he is. Because everybody else who's went behind the paywall fell apart. Yeah, right.

And he grew. Yeah, yeah. So you can't say shit. Right. You think Spotify made their money back on him then? Bro, not only made their money back, the show grew. Right, right. Nothing goes behind a paywall and gets bigger.

The idea of a wall is to keep people out. You're right. But this is just fucking unbelievable. And Spotify is the home for podcasting. To me, it's undeniable. It's the home for all audio. Three years ago, I would not have. You wouldn't even think about it.

But all audio. I go listen to music there. I listen to podcasts there. Everything. And it's, yeah, the way that they bought up Market Share is fucking brilliant. Yeah. Right. And I think, yeah, yeah, I mean, just what a crazy thing.

Because everybody else who's gone behind it has, I don't want to say flop, but it's just not the same cultural imprint. Right. Like the girl, the Call Her Daddy girl, is it Call Her Daddy? Call Her Daddy, yeah. The Call Her Daddy girl, she's done well. Yeah. And she's had massive, she had massive interviews that have kind of like hit the mainstream.

Right. Yeah, there's a few people that do well because they actually were that talented. Like Call Her Daddy was the biggest female pod because they were that good. Yeah. I think like you have like then, I think they just pulled it from Meghan Markle because she wasn't coming in with the fan base. I think they had given her a deal and they pulled it away. What a useless bunch they are. It's like it's like I don't know who's making these decisions.

And maybe because Spotify is like a Swedish company or something like that, like they they're closer to the monarchy. So maybe they think that there's value there. But like Americans don't care about the monarchy. We've never cared about the monarchy. We don't give a fuck about it. We care about the gossip. But I don't want to hear them talk for an hour a week. Bro, yeah, the gossip, I guess, and then maybe that's a generational thing. I don't think our generation or the generations below care. I think our parents' generation did it. Maybe there was a

little bit more proximity, you know, or a little more connectivity. When the queen died, I saw it all over the time. Everybody was common. That's paid ads, bro. Ain't nobody watching that no way yeah i wonder like a young taxpayer in like you know england if they're like why does my tax money go to these people oh apparently it's like split down the middle apparently a lot of people really love it it's tradition whatever and then a lot of people like i would assume the older people like the younger people maybe i wonder if that's why and maybe we've had this comment here before but i wonder if that's why, and maybe we've had this comment here before, but I wonder if that's why there's a cultural synergy in Great Britain. Because there's these people to look up to that are the example of what it is to be British.

America doesn't have that. What it is to be from the South is different than what it is to be from New York, or what it is to be from Boston, from California. Every little state has their own thing. And don't get me wrong, There is cultural diversity within Great Britain. And it's also a much smaller place. That being said, like there is this example of what is British. Right. And we don't have that.

Like every president is fucking different. Right. Yeah, I wonder. But that's the whole point of this country. That's why I think sometimes when other countries shit on us or even we shit on each other, it's like the whole point of this. Is to be able to shit on one another. Yeah. And be different and be different and fight it out yeah the whole point of this place was to you could minorities to work and then something fucked up dude and for you to be free and all

we don't have we're not a homogenous society a lot of these other societies are it's like but they're different you know we we are always been different that's also easy to be monogamous homogenous when you have 3 million people. Yeah. Or 7 million people. When you have 300, it's tough. 300, that's why it's like the country's too big. There should have.

Also, a 3,000-mile-long empire never works. It's never worked any, not once ever in society. It is too, in history, it's like- A 3,000-mile-long empire. I'm saying from New York to California is roughly 3,000 miles. You count Hawaii and Alaska, it's 5,000. And it's like- A 3,000 mile long empire. I'm saying from New York to California is roughly 2,000 miles. You count Hawaii and Alaska, it's 5,000. And it's like, that's never- Too much land?

It's too much land. How can you expect someone from Montana to think the same and maintain the same American ideals as someone from southern Texas? It's never gonna work. You think we need an EU? Huh? You think we need an EU, like an American Union? Isn't that kind of what we have, though?

The system is kind of like an EU, right? It's each state makes up their own rules. Yeah. And it reflects what their interests are and their needs are within that state. But then that even goes more to the point of then it's not united because now the rules have become so radically different state by state. Good. Certain example.

Right. I like that. But no, I do too, but I think we do vote for one president, whereas the EU doesn't have like an EU president that everybody votes for and it seems to determine so much. Because they don't get to vote for the president. Like there is someone who's

ahead of the EU, but I think they're decided by a bunch of fucking people in Belgium or some shit like that. They just don't have the ability to vote for who makes the decisions for all those people. That's why it's fucked up. That's why the EU is goofy. We at least can go, I don't want this guy to be president. Yeah, but I don't think anybody, everybody should vote. I'm with you on that. I'm absolutely with you on this. We should elect, we should be electing. Just landowners? Just whites? No, I had a bit about this. There should be like a spelling

test or something. Yes. Some kind of buried engine. We should, I think, I forget who it was. Somebody in history said, not everyone, it might have been like Socrates or somebody like this. Yeah, Socrates hated the idea of a democracy. Yeah, because democracy. Or Plato, which one? It was one of them who was like, you know, democracy is not going to work. These people are too fucking stupid. There's no way they could do it.

Yeah, he said, you know, and that's why they abandoned Greece, abandoned democracy for years. They're like, this doesn't work. I think he said, if you put two people up there and just allow the people to vote, if you put one guy who's saying, all I wanna do is give you candy, I'm the candy guy. And then you put the other guy saying, I know everybody wants candy, but it's gonna kill you, it's gonna rot our teeth, it's not good for our kids. They will always elect the candy shop owner because they will say that's what we want. We want candy because most of the voters vote.

If you take it all as a whole, most of us, myself included, are uneducated on the topics that the presidential candidates or whoever are even debating about. So a better system, some people think, would be let us vote for the people. You go to school for it,, get a degree in voting. Like, get a degree in what the policies are, and then you get elected somehow, and then you vote for us. Now, obviously, there's major flaws in that. But this whole idea of let us all vote, I think you're just seeing it doesn't work. All right, we're going to take a break real quick because I've got to tell you about Morgan & Morgan.

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Again, buyraycon.com slash flagrant. I'm sweating, but it's not because I don't believe in the product. It's because the AC is not working and it's fucking hot in here. So don't judge me. Now let's get back to the show. The tricky thing with getting educated enough to vote is that it kind of cuts out a lot of poor people that are working two jobs and they don't have the time to do it. I understand your point. You want to make sure that there's a certain

aptitude to make those decisions. It can be small. I'm telling you. Easy. Yeah. Know how to spell there, there, and there. You got it. You got it. Yeah. I'd be fucking that up myself. That's true. Exactly. Or maybe you just gotta accept the fact that dumb people should have

the same rights to make decisions as quote-unquote smart people. And that's just what it is to make decisions as, quote unquote, smart people. And that's just what it is to be a democracy. And that's just the cost of freedom. Oh, well, too. Yeah, I think I think, you know, the media does a great job of cherry picking stories and making things seem way worse than they actually are. Like we're on the brink of a civil war. And you go outside and you're like, oh, we're not.

Most people. Yeah, there's a few radicals on each side. There's a few radicals from each race and then other and those are the ones who get to get to speak a lot of the times but for the most part the common man no matter what he she they look like are pretty much we're all in line with the same things yeah and the same wants but the media doesn't the media would make no money if there was peace they only make money in war you could you could and you could speak on this way better than any of us can because you have children but like oh okay say the republican party no no no no no

like a gray zone guy maybe you know what if you just let people who have kids vote right i think because your life i imagine becomes much smaller once you have children just talking about for people who have yeah for my friends who have kids like, yeah, it's like, how does this affect my kid? Yes. I don't care about plastic straws. I don't care about Greta Thunberg. I care about my kid getting an education. I care about what my kids learning. I agree with that because it's like, you know, I'm the one, you know, my me and my girl are the ones we're like we're now pushing generation forward. We have little ones that we have to deal with. I can't, you know, my friends, you know, who are 43 years old with roommates. Yeah.

Talking to me. Thank you for upping the age a little. Sure. Yeah. I know the podcast fans, so I wanted to not disrespect any of them. I know. Disrespect me. I'm 39.

I'm four years away. So it's like, you know, I listen to them talk about. You don't have a wife. You have a roommate. You tell your kids. You don't have a wife. You have a fucking roommate. You know, I'm like, I'm like, who, what does it it matter like sometimes like some of my boys from home like what why are you even

fucking talking like my tax money my i have to pay for your fucking life i agree you know like why why do you even have an opportunity to say anything i think we're not doing anything but being selfish and taking taking i'm giving we have too much i think that's the thing we have like this huge gap we used to probably have kids, and I'm guilty of this, right? But like we used to probably have kids a much younger age, right? And then you have people that are occupied with their kids' lives, right? They're not protesting milk. No.

You can't protest milk. Talk to any parent. I get no parent that cares about their kids. Is a vegan. Yes. They're just not. It's like you want your kids to eat anything. I don't matter what the fuck it is.

Get the calories and we're not, I don't have the time or energy to make a difference. It's not going to happen. There's good activism that's very important. And then there's goofy activism. Yeah. And the goofy activism I believe only exists, or the majority of it only exists amongst people who do not have children.

Sure. And are between like 30 and 40. It's just they're bored. Yeah. They need to find a purpose. I'm going to be a vegan. I'm going to be a, what is it? My favorite one is when people go, I don't want to have kids because there's too many

people. Just say you were molested. Yeah. Say that you had a rough childhood. Stop acting like you're this fucking hero and you want to clear up traffic. You had a horrible childhood. That's why you don't want. You want to clear up traffic. Yeah, you had a horrible childhood That's why you don't want to have kids. Yeah, it's that simple Yeah, this is not a fucking hero who's saving the world because of overpopulation. Yeah, shut the fuck up

Yeah, it's I agree. This is the most annoying thing. It's like a guy code That is the most annoying like archetype of a human being I'm going to save the world by not having kids. You were f***ed up. You were f***ed up or you had a horrible life because your parents suck. And now you're trying to be this f***ing hero who's helping us all by not having one f***ing kid. Watching Chris DiStefano be uncomfortable with someone else is a real... When he started saying all that stuff, when he started getting like that, that's the first time you notice in two hours, I've stopped sweating. As cool as a cucumber.

I thought my dad was here. I'm saying, this man, I'm going, here, here. Huzzah. But isn't that an annoying point of view? It is. If you say you went through something, I get it and I go, okay, I understand that you're worried about

pushing this trauma on your kids and I think that that is a beautiful thing to care about. I think it's really beautiful. Acting like you're a hero to mask your trauma is the most annoying fucking thing, because now we've got to be like, oh, you're so brave to sacrifice

not having kids when no one will fuck you in the first place. You say it was trauma. It's probably not selfless. It's probably, I don't want to work through my trauma. Yeah, I'm not willing to- I just don't want to put in that work. That seems scary. That seems daunting.

Let me just not have kids. Yeah, yeah. I think too, you know, like that, I get it too. Like, you know, with the media or social media, it's like, you know, the guy who's, you know, working a nine to five, got kids, a family is exhausted. Then he listens to the, you know, national news and they're infecting his or her brain with these radical ideas. I get it how they then next thing you know, they're storming the Capitol. Because they're like, I don't have the time or energy.

To fact check. Yes, I can't do that. I'm working two jobs. Yeah, that's why I feel sometimes with comedy, we are so lucky. Nancy Pelosi's fucking kids. I've got to stop it. Yeah, exactly. What are you doing, buddy?

Yeah, exactly. So I get doing, buddy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, so like I get it. I get it all. But sometimes I do agree like with certain, you know, with the people that don't have children. And again, I know there's different reasons for whatever. But me as a parent, I'm like, I just want to live like, that's why to pick Republican, Democrat, it's very difficult. Because I like some things the Democrats say, like some things the Republicans say. It's like, I'm all for a woman to have the right to choose her own body because I have

daughters, but I also might need a wall up if things get crazy. So I'm all about protecting my children, you know? So it's like, obviously not a wall, but you know what I mean? Like, I'm for protection and also freedom at the same time. So it's difficult, but- Yeah, you're a fucking real human being, and that's it. But the people who start to get older, a little bit older, starts to get a little scary when they have no children,

and they start this inherent narcissism. Oh, you just said it, when they have no children. Yeah. They have nothing to look after. Well, because I think we all have to have an identity, right? We all look at having some type of political identity, or we need some reason, some purpose for life. And when you have children,

your purpose clearly becomes, I'm here for the kids. When you don't have children, then you start, well, is my purpose green? You're not having the green deal. Watching conspiracy theories. Yes, is my purpose being conspiracy theories? But all that stuff goes out the window when you have kids. I mean, we still watch it and whatever, but I'm like, my purpose is the kids. Nobody with kids knows about

George Soros. Wait a minute, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let knows about George Soros. Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let me take that back. My mom's listening right now. Exactly. I was going to say, you haven't been to Staten Island. Yeah.

No. But I think we know about it, but I don't get consumed by it. Like, you know, men that therapist that would do all the comics. I forget. I don't want to say his name. Ralph or something like that. Something like that. Every comedian.

Every New York comic was going to the same thing. That's so weird. And this guy had to know every comedian. It was all comedians that he would have. You would wait in the waiting room, which was mad small, and the door was paper thin. I could just hear everything the comic before me was saying. And instead, I could hear their tears. This guy caught the greatest lick, bro.

Yeah. He caught the greatest lick. And he said his pay was on a sliding scale. So he would watch to see if you were doing better. yeah for a perfect example tickets don't talk about the garden it used to be 25 an hour but then he saw while i was on guy code back then that's what i was going to which which obviously mtv2 is no money but to the people thought it was a lot of money next thing you know that 25 was 250 right and it's just oh whatever but i remember he said i went to him for a year and and i had you you know, I just had, you know, my daughter or whatever. And he had said, you know, Chris, you're one of the only comics that comes in here and doesn't talk for an hour about their comedy.

He said, that's a good thing. You're talking about things outside of comedy. You're talking about your family, your kids, because this is why having a child is a great thing or having a wife or a husband is a great thing to take you out of comedy. And it doesn't have to be kids. If you don't have kids, buddy, you have to have something out. You can't let your career identify you.

That's why the Japanese have such a high suicide rate because they identify themselves with their career. And when their career is done, whatever it may be, they have no purpose to live and they kill themselves. And so that's what I think for me, a kid is it takes me outside my career. To that point, when there was that earthquake or it was a tsunami that hit the nuclear factory, I think it was Fukushima, the old people offered their lives essentially to go clean it up. They knew that they were going to be around the nuclear waste and knew it was going to

shrink their lives. But they were like, listen, this is our responsibility. You have your whole lives ahead of you. Please let us sacrifice this for you guys. I thought that was the most beautiful... And then Marie Kondo made that show about cleaning. Yeah, it was right after that. She learned from that. She was like, here's how

you tidy up the best way. That's where that came from. It's true. More caught than taught, you know what I mean? I think. Yeah. I know my boy who was a doctor um you know during the whole covid stuff in the beginning when it was like really bad he said he act he saw on hospitals in brooklyn older people seeing younger people and being like give them the mask they were acting more selfless you know where now you might have all you know because i think this is the first generation maybe ever where like that like you said people are having kids way later in life like way later like you know 30s the new 40 50 40s the new 50 all that

stuff and and it's just you know the ones of us that don't have kids again it's all good but there is something like nature knocks the selfishness out of you quick i mean i still obviously i'm selfish and you know i'm getting flawed human but it's like i'm way more selfless than i ever because again i'm fourth place in my own life so it's like and again i'm curious i agree with you 100 about like you know us waiting like later to have kids and i wonder i'm glad not that i waited but i I'm glad that I waited to, to, to, to do it with the person that I love. And I think that I can bring a child into this world with in a good, healthy way. But I wonder if like your kid allows you to be selfish because your kid is you. Right. In other words, like, do you look at looking after your kid as a selfless thing or does it tap into the same selfish desire?

Well, in like I'm saying this is a positive thing, like, yeah, almost like God or evolution or whatever it is found a way where even if you are selfish, I'm going to use that. Right. For you to raise this kid. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think I think it's like, you know, yeah, because really what you're looking at when and when i'm looking at my kids this is an extension of me somehow i'm looking at my cells and just read it's like beautiful yeah it's just how can you not be selfish when you're looking at your kids eyes and you're like holy shit you look like me you act like me like what but that's what i think i think you know like selfish the word selfish has a negative connotation and i get why but positive selfishness like if you use selfishness in the right way, it only leads to selflessness. Selfish and selflessness is like that cycle.

Explain that, explain that. Because for example, like me, I need for me to exercise, right? I need to exercise and you would say- So I can be better to the people around me. For them, well, I need to take time away from my kids selfishly to read and try to make myself the best version of myself so I can selflessly pass on the nature to my kids.

I need to go leave them for a weekend to work so I can make the money and invest it properly so I can give them a better life and more freedom for them. So it's selfishness leading to selflessness. What do you guys think about that with relationships? that with relationships. I would hear even my mom talk about this, but the parents need to invest time in one another so that they can have the best, most healthy relationships so that the kids see that. Right. Do you believe that? I do. I do. I think that- It makes sense. It makes sense. But I know, we're living now in a world. Do you feel like you get time with with jazz? Yeah. But but we have to make it like we have coming up on Thursday, like a planned date.

Fire. If you. Yes. Yeah. We have to. If you don't do that, then what's going to happen is months and months and months will go by. have to if you don't do that then what's going to happen is months and months and months will go by where all you've done yeah is is is given time to the children which was necessary but you're going to start resenting you need to fill your cup we never do anything that's when somebody cheats because they want to get a thrill yeah outside of their marriage or relationship so if you have to actively you have to act like they say relationships are work well parenting when you're in a relationship is a relationship when you're a parent is work, too, because it's like there is actually no time. You have to physically carve it out. And again, being selfish, saying it's me, mommy and I's time.

So you're going to be with grandma. And even though they're upset, why are you leaving? You know, they'll say to you, why are you leaving us? You feel guilty. But you have to let it go because you say, but this is to give back to This is so we can be a little bit fresher and be selfless for them. And that's what we're having family. That's what part of the whole taking a village to raise a kid is. We can take our time, and they're with grandma.

They're with grandma. They're fine. It's like, I forgot who says this, but it's fundamentally changed, too, with Jazz and I. We don't say we're raising kids anymore. We say we're raising adults because you're not, you know, you have to have to understand like i'm doing everything for them to be a better adult not a better kid a kid is a part of all of our existences that we're just you know it's usually a lot of bad things it's it's she just slammed a bottle in the back is that jazz here in the studio well i was talking to uh jordan peterson i think it was and he said something like uh

if you don't like your kids you're always going he said something like, if you don't like your kids. You're always going to love your kids, but if you don't like your kids, that's your fault. Why are you allowing them to behave in a way that you don't like? Right. Like, you have to raise them so that you like them, and then other people will like them. Right. But if you put up with the behavior that you can't even tolerate, why would anybody else tolerate? Yeah. It's your failure if they're not liking him.

And that was a really, like, cool thing to even consider for a second. Like, it's on us to make them fucking likable. Yes. Yeah, I think, you know, and it really, at least me as a parent, the reason why I feel so strongly, it almost is from nature and spirit, whatever you want to do, is they're the only people. My children are the only people in my life. That's why I feel such a responsibility to them that I didn't choose. They were given to me. I did not choose them.

I chose the partner. I choose my friends. You know, I was not I was just some higher power gave me these two souls. I'm like, this is your job. You are you are in protection. So it's very, like, deeply connected where I'm like, how do I give the best version of it to them? As my parents, I feel about me, I believe. So that's why it's like very and that's why I'm trying to spend so much time being like, how do I be?

That's like my goal right now. It's like not being the best comic. It's not being the best YouTube or whatever. It's like hopefully those things happen. But most of my energy is like, how am I being the best YouTuber or whatever. It's like, hopefully those things happen. But most of my energy is like, how am I being the best dad to them? And you never feel guilty about dedicating that time, huh? To what?

To your kids. No, I feel like what's the point? This is what my duty has become. You feel guilty scrolling because you're like, oh, I could be working. I could be pursuing my career. I could be becoming better. When you're doing the nonsense or playing video games, but when you're with your

kids and don't and dedicating that time to the kids, there's never a guilt to that. Listen, I really believe at the end of my life, whenever, you know, if we have time to, you know, whatever, lucky enough to be on like a deathbed, right? I really doubt, I highly doubt I'm going to, if I have any regrets, I'm going to be worried about, you know, my YouTube subscribers or my ticket sales. I'll be worried about time that I get to spend with my kids or if my kids have a negative outlook on me, I'm sure that would be more horrific than if I sold less tickets. I'm very comfortable with the idea of selling less tickets and being less famous and making less money, Yeah. But giving myself back time to my family, because again, time and money for me, it's

like the bank account is really not that big. I mean, there's a certain number, as we said. Yes. That you need. But even that is freedom for your family. And it's all like, listen, dude, we live in a world, you live in a society where it's like, you know, all you got to do. I mean, not all, but you just if you just compounding your is like, it's very simple. Just open up a Vanguard account. This is not

financial advice, but just open up a Vanguard account and invest in an index fund now. And the stock market historically will give you 20 to 30% of your, and you'll have money at the end of your life. Like it's really with our modern day tools and apps, just put the money in an index fund and you're fine. And, and, and, and, you know, but we have this idea of like, I need more. I have to have the bigger house. Well, I have to have the fastest car. It's like all you get to a point where like you start to realize like I'm buying things to impress people I don't even know.

This is not for me. Almost everything you start to do after a while is for somebody else when it's like, what's the point of all this? Kids also don't need much. No, perfect example. I took my daughters to Disney, right? Blue, plane tickets, top hotel, speed passes, all that stuff. My girls are little and my stepson, we got there. We're in our hotel. One of the Disney hotels had a little playground that you could hang out in and wait for the shuttle bus to take you to Disney.

His favorite part. My daughter slides down the slide, gives me the big hug. She said, Dad, I love Disney so much. This is amazing. She thought that was Disney. Yeah. And I'm like, I just spent 20 grand on this. And then I realized, oh, shit, they don't need it at all.

And I learned a valuable lesson too when I had a CBS pilot that didn't go. It became my whole life. It became all I talked about. It became my identity, everything. You know, Les Moonves telling me I'm going to be the next Ray Romano.

You're having all these delusions of grandeur, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Doesn't happen. I feel like a shell of myself. I feel like I've let my family down my daughter was two at the two and a half at the time and i'm like baby you know i remember how daddy was going back and forth to la and and all that and i'm like it's not gonna happen we didn't get that show and she gave me like the biggest hug and she was like i'm so happy and i was like what

and she goes because that means you don't have to go to L.A. anymore. And so she took it as a positive, where she was like, oh, I'm getting my dad back. And then it kind of just, like, it was almost like a wall, like that fourth wall came down. And I was like, oh, shit, I have been going after the wrong thing for a long time. And again, we still do fall back into habits. It's okay to be ambitious, too. But I'm trying, but I'm all about percentages now. Like, even when, you know, I lost like 40 pounds because of intermittent fasting.

I was like, you know, rather, I think it was John Steinbeck that said, now that you can't be perfect, go be great. So, or something like that, where it's like, you're not, we're perfectionists. It's like, if I don't have six pack abs after three months of working out, I'm quitting. It's like, no, no, no, trust the process.

It's like, I'm trying to be 80% better each week with things. I'm trying to be 80% better at my diet, 80% better with working out, 80% better as a father, like all those things. But there will be 20% of fucking slip ups. It's part of life. How old were you when you had your first kid? I was 29. Were you scared? Oh, sure.

Yeah. You mean that it was mine? Of course, I was terrified because I had, at that point that point you know guy code was popping off and we just you know we weren't i wasn't selling any real tickets yet but you know we had the guy code thing we had shit that we were like we're doing benders yeah you know schultz the the day my daughter was born was the first table read of benders the show schultz and i did so i was like this is it you know i thought like my career's popping. I'm on IFC. I'm popping MTV to IFC.

I can't be stopped. And I had other comedians, you know, older than me being like all that. It was the same notion. They were like, you ruined your life. You're just careers just getting started. Now you have a kid going to make everything so much harder, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was my father who was like, listen, let me tell you something. He goes, having a child only makes you better. If you wouldn't, nature wouldn't have given you this child if you couldn't, if you couldn't handle it. So he was like, I guarantee you, this is going to

make your career even bigger because now you have something to play for. And there, he said, told me that in the hospital, he goes, now you got something to play for. So, and it's so true. There's a biblical term. Because now I do have something to play for. Every baby comes with a basket true because it's a biblical term because now I do play for every baby comes with a basket of bread, a basket of blessings. Yeah. So, because I'm, you know, I, cause you'll hear a lot of people say, Oh, I'm just waiting for the right time. It's always the right time. Whenever that, whenever the gift is given to you, it's the right time because I feel like, you know, you'll have a 14 year old single mom that can make it work and produce, you know, a great child. And then you'll have a 45 year old billionaire that produces a heroin addict.

Shout out Joe Biden. Do you, you know, you know, you grew up in the city. I'm sure that you're like rubbing shoulders with the rich kids that are going to private school and you went to Catholic school. I went to Catholic school. So you're different than private. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit. You probably had kids in the school that, you know, came for money and like, yeah, yeah, it bit a little you probably had kids in the school that you know came for

money and like yeah uh yeah no it's different yes we're not talking about fieldston and fucking the other ones right which are like but i will say this it is it is interesting you know people that don't know new york like being like you're from manhattan yeah right so that's different than me being from brooklyn yeah and queens like it's almost like someone who's from manhattan like what new york city the epicenter is, almost sometimes doesn't even have an accent. Where somebody from the outer boroughs, it's like you know where the fuck I'm from.

So it's interesting. But this is the interesting thing that is like, when people think of New York, they think of where I'm from. When they think of New Yorkers, they think of you. Where I'm from. Yeah, right they think of New Yorkers. Right. They think of you. Where I'm from. Yeah.

Right. And it's just this interesting thing because the, what is it? Like the neighborhood. Right. The neighborhood, there's a few of them in Manhattan. Right. But it's not like it is in Brooklyn or Queens. It's everywhere.

Or even the Bronx. It's not even fucking close. Yeah. But it is interesting with the, there are like the three tiers of schools. There's the public schools, there's the Catholic schools, and then there's the private schools. The private schools are like a direct funnel to rehab. The percentage of these kids. No, I mean, you grew up in a city.

It's shocking, bro. The percentage of these kids that end up in rehab. And I used to think it was a money thing. I used to think, oh, yeah yeah you got money and it's more problems or whatever it is I now think their parents in order to make that money were not in their kids lives at all right and but when you're a kid you don't really notice it right and I was like I you know my parent I went to public school and my parents were fucking in my life all the time like I would feel guilty if I was doing drugs or something like that I remember like

dude my mom told me this story the other day where my dad loved piano and he wanted me to play piano. And I had to go to my mom separately as a kid. I'm like young,

elementary school. And I was like, mom, I really don't like it but I don't want to let dad down. And like feeling guilty about letting your parents down.

Like these kids that are doing drugs and that kind of shit resent the fuck out of their parents. That's why they're doing it because they're not in their lives so it was this i i don't think private school is necessarily bad right i used to think it was bad and i was like terrified to even put my kids in private school i don't think it's bad i think it's how much you're in your kid life

in my opinion the private school the Catholic school the public school that is not the issue that's whatever right it's what happens when you come home. That is the issue. Now, there are many good parents whose kids just fall into something and there's nothing they can do. That's why it's hard to make a general statement about anything, really. Parenting, race, religion, it's hard because we're individuals. But I know for sure, for sure, the more love and more compassion and the more you pay attention to your kids at home, it doesn't matter what school they're going to yeah they're gonna be more loving they're you're gonna be more loved that's why i don't drink that's funny you say that i remember i got buzzed on like new year's

one year like college and then i was like dude i cannot do this to my mom right everybody my dad was drinking too much my brother was drinking too much and i was like i cannot dan that's why it's not even about you you just feel so guilty yeah I never touched it again dead ass from that day I was like I can't do that yeah that's why I don't gamble my dad had like a gambling addiction so it's like I you know I come from a neighborhood though where it's like everybody's talking about vigs and playing poker and all this and I get offered all the time yo you'd be they offered me like a real good thing to be like the face of like you know not the face but like high up like my bookie like yeah real of like, you know, not the face, but like high up, like my bookie, like real money. Like you look like the kind of guy that gets people to gamble. I was like, I really can't. You saw the pain. Because my dad told me, he was like, listen, gambling ruined a lot of things in

my life, you know, in, in, in, in, in his life, you know, with my mom, with, you know, he had gotten into a lot of trouble with it. And he's like, that's the one thing, like, do not gamble. Like, do not, that is the one vice that I'm worried if it's in's like that's the one thing like do not gamble like do not that is the one vice that i'm worried if it's in you it's going to ruin your life and destroy you so i'm very like i'll let you like i don't if you gave me a deck of cards i'm like which one is the four i have no idea what any of it even means like i have no clue at all numbers spreads you know sport like all my friends are talking about oh you know who's got this the spread i it's a foreign language to me because it has to be on purpose because that's the one thing my dad asked me not to do. But you could have beginner's luck.

I could. Because you know so little, so you shouldn't have to get into it, right? Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I've gambled in other ways, you know, but not with cards and sports. That was like very clear to me. Do not do that. And I think, too, even it doesn't matter if your parents are together or separate. My parents were divorced, but they both individually showed me so much love and were there for me at every turn, where if people are just staying together to stay together

because they think they're supposed to. Yeah. It's like, well, if you're not going to show your kids any love and you're not going to be there for them, you're better off. I want my kids to see, just like my mom and dad showed me, two individual people who loved their son so much yeah and if they were together guess what would happen they had so many issues with each other that you wouldn't get that love all the time yeah so do you think like like when when i was growing up i i saw catholic school in a lot of ways is like a lot of times people who are working class and they were terrified of sending their kids to public school

because some of the public schools, when we were coming up, were really rough. Like that wasn't like an illusion. It was a little crazy. And they would kill themselves to make enough money to put their kid in Catholic school. They couldn't afford the private because private was fucking 40 grand a year or whatever.

It is probably even more now. Would you send your kids to Catholic school after your experience there? Yeah, my kids go to Catholic school. And the reason why is because to me, it's not even that it's bad schooling. It's not even that it's bad teachers. It's like, as a matter of fact, the teachers who teach at public school, I believe are required to have master's degrees. So you would say that they are even more adept to teach

the young minds, but it's an overcrowded, underfunded system. And that's why I think also a problem we've gone to in education, which has been, this is why people protest. I understand as a parent, even though I'm all for trans rights, I live in New York City. It's very hard to be, you can't even be anti-LGBTQ if you wanted to. You're just going to see the people you don't like in the next block. So just accept it all. And the people that are anti that in this city, I'm like, you're an asshole. So whatever, I'm accepting of everything. But I do understand when a parent is like, hey, I'm protesting you teaching my child about masturbation and things like that because you're a stranger.

So all I want you to do is teach my kids reading, writing, and arithmetic, and obviously history and things like that. All this other nuanced stuff, that's my job as her mom and dad. So I get it. And then people who don't have kids come out and be like, look at these people. They're so anti this. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. You don't have children.

My child, there's certain things that are like, you just teach them the basics. My job, this child wasn't given to you, it was given to me. I'm just saying, again, the basics, we have a standardized education system, even though I think that's bullshit. The standardized test, it's like some of the most genius kids might not be able to pass an SAT or get flying colors on it because the way the questions are asked. What about basic sex education? Would you be in favor of that? Yes, at a certain age. to pass an SAT or get flying colors on it because the way the questions are asked. Everything is- What about basic sex education?

Would you be in favor of that? Yes, at a certain age. Yeah. Like, you know, like I think I don't need you to teach my kid who's five about gender norms and masturbation and those things. And people are like, you know, again, it's mostly people who have some other type of political identity or some other type of political motive that are so anti that because and most of the time they don't have children.

We're like, that's not that's the last thing. All you're doing is giving my kid anxiety when the last thing my child should have is anxiety. Let the parents have the anxiety. Yeah, you could play a video for that, that everyone signs off before it's sent to the parents. That's what was done in our school. It's just like, here you go.

Teacher, you can watch too. Watch Daddy Masturbate. They did this in my elementary school, or maybe it was middle school. I remember they gave everybody a letter to sign. No, no, they gave everybody a letter to sign. And the kids who didn't get the letter to sign for the sex ed class just didn't go to that class it's fine and there was no big fucking issue about it those kids just weren't in it yeah it's great we were it was what it was i'm totally okay at least give the parents the choice then we went to public school like this is not like some fancy fucking private school where

they're bringing these people but do we know they're not doing that right now that you know they might be exactly i think there's a lot of like. It's also that we, you don't remember, we all watch the same video. I feel like there was thought there to say if everyone in public school is watching the same thing, it's like. Yeah. There's no rogue teachers going off and saying I want to give a little bit more on this angle. The reason why, like, the tricky thing is there was a girl in my middle school, right? And she was a year below and she would blow guys during lunch. This is a real thing to happen, right? was like hero yeah right and and and in eighth grade you're

hearing about this seventh grade girl who's like going and they're like my boy's coming up to me he's like yo she's blowing guys at lunch do you want to be one of the guys when i was like and i was like nah i'm good and i remember even in eighth grade being like yo this is a little i mean sounds kind of awesome but also like i don't know what's going on here. That girl is dealing with some crazy shit at home, and she might need the sex ed class to be like, yo, if it goes more than blowing, there's going to be a fucking problem for you, and you're going to get pregnant, and you don't know what the hell is going on. So there is the argument for education in that regard, right? She might not know the costs of it, and her parents are clearly not telling her what's going on.

She might not even have parents. Who the fuck knows? Not every parent is like you. Exactly. So I understand why there are some people that go, well, they need some sort of education because not everyone is going to have a dedicated parent to do it. But to have no empathy for the parents who are involved and now are concerned about what they're being educated, at least have some empathy.

At least enter the conversation like, I understand how awkward this is. This is really difficult. We need to figure out the way to do it. And you're 100% right to be anxious. If you start the conversation like that, I'm sure you're going to sit down and be like, okay, let me hear you out.

What's the deal? When you go, sorry, you're getting fucking... Well, this whole idea, I mean, listen, this whole idea of the state or government even being involved in the affairs of a family is pretty modern. It's like a hundred, like the founding fathers, they did, they were very clear. Like, you do not get involved with the states of a family. We have certain things, like if you kill somebody in public, obviously.

But if it's on my lawn. Right. Mind your business. Yeah, like this whole state getting involved with family stuff, it slipped. I understand why there's times to do it. But then if it becomes this overall thing where it's like you're always getting involved, it starts, then does it lead to, well, if I don't send you to the sex education class, you can take my kid away from me?

Yeah, exactly. Like, does it get to that? No. And even in the whole education, the whole whole education system we have today is new. Do you know what it is? I really think it's people that don't have kids making decisions for people that do. Of course. And they don't under, you shake your head. Let me just get the idea out. And then I think that a lot of these people that don't have kids are making these decisions for the people that do. So they

don't understand the anxiety that the parents have about those decisions. So they don't even know to have empathy for it. I don't think they're making bad decisions. I don't think they're like, how can we infuse this information and corrupt America's youth? I really just think they don't know the anxiety that comes from it. And they have good intentions. They're like, well, if we give a fair education to these kids, they'll be more well-rounded individuals and young kids that are dealing with these certain sexual proclivities will be a little bit more understood. I think they're coming from a good place. I just think a lot of them don't have their own kids. I think it's what you said before,

where it's like they are working in the system and they see the difference between kids that aren't getting it at home necessarily. So they're like, we need to provide this for the ones that aren't getting it at home. And I think that's what they're thinking. I a hundred percent agree. I just think if you couple that with them not having kids themselves, right, they won't understand the anxiety that that could induce in a parent. That's what I'm saying. I think they do understand. Like from, I've had these conversations. Why would they not be more empathetic to the parents that are like, yo, what's going on

here? Almost at the start of every school year, they're having like these meetings like, hey, we're prepared to teach our child this. Here's a meeting so you, hey, we're prepared to teach our child this. Here's a meeting so you can see what we're going to teach them. And then you get to decide. That's happening on almost all public schools. Well, if that's happening, I love it. And then if the parent rejects that, respect the parent. Yeah. And because there are going to be certain parents that are religious. And because of that, they might not want their kids taught certain things. And I'm okay with that. We just hear the loudest voices, which are the parents are just are the parents are just like i don't want that shit nowhere and they didn't even go to the

class yeah they didn't even go to the class where you find out what they're going to teach it goes back to the point that we made in the beginning of the show where it's like most people are just normal people like alex most people are just normal yeah most people are like you hear these loud voices and these fringe voices but that's what the media wants to put on yeah that's what will cause the civil war that's what causes the vibe because that's what the media wants to put on. That's what will cause the Civil War, that's what causes the vibe, cuz that's what makes the most money on the ad revenue for them. So most people, even me, coming from Staten Island, which is stereotypically, it has a name if you don't know, it's a conservative borough, and we're like Trump and all that.

It's not really true. It's conservative for New York. For New York, yeah, right, right. You go down to some other places and these guys in Staten Island are gonna feel like they're fucking LGBTQ friendly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean I do my eyebrows? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're gay. That's a funny sketch. The Staten Island conservatives going to Tennessee. Yeah, yeah. And then being like, uh-oh. We are not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They think we're there for a pride parade.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think, but I think, yeah, I think even in my school, our kids, like most of the parents are pretty, and we're from many different, like, you know, races and religion, mostly Catholics, but different races. And it's like, we're all kind of just like, hey, we just want our kids, it's all girl school. We just want our girls to have the best education. And, you know, we talk about, you know, what in the school tells us what the curriculum is going to be. You know, there's none of, to be. There's none of that. My kid is still young, but as they get older, they'll be more into sex ed, but the parents can be involved, and it's good. And that's a benefit of Catholic school, which, again, I know not everyone can afford, but I think it's what's happening at home is the biggest thing.

Sorry to interrupt. But, yeah, I think there's like this erosion in trust for institutions in America right now. And I don't know if that is like a function of other countries trying to erode that trust and take advantage of that. Because if you have no trust in your institutions, you have no trust in your government, then it's very hard to have national pride. And then when you have no national pride, there's nothing to fight for.

I'm just saying like if I was in another country, that's what I would do. But I also think that there are failures of these institutions, so we have a right to not wanna trust them. And I was talking to Dave Smith, you know Dave. Sure, I love Dave. Brilliant, holy shit. And he was saying that this is something that happened after the Cold War, essentially,

where we took out our biggest competitor. And when you take out your biggest competitor, and at the time, China wasn't as robust as it is right now, you really have nobody that can check you, not even your own people. And when you start thinking about having no one to check you, it's almost like a business that's a monopoly, right? When there's no competitor out there, you make whatever rules you want, and the people got to deal with it.

So in a weird way, we might be dealing with our generation and the generation below us might be dealing with a government and institutions that just have never felt like they needed to get checked. And now with the freedom of information on the internet, we're hearing some things that are maybe potentially unsavory. Maybe some of them are misinformation. Maybe it's not true. Maybe it's some of them are true. But we have every right to question our institutions and it's up to them to restill the faith.

Sure. You know, like, that's why I think it's, even if the guy, RFK Jr., whatever, is spouting bullshit. Let's say he's spouting bullshit. The fact that there is some erosion of trust is not on us. Right. It's not on misinformation. Right.

It's on you guys. You say the vaccine for COVID works, and then all of a sudden, a few months later, it doesn't work. You can't be like, well, you should still trust us. Right. Fam, you sold me a car that doesn't work. Right, right. Like, that's on you.

I'm taking it back to the dealer. So you should, if you were part of the institution or the Hotez guy or whatever it is, you should go not have this fiery debate. Have a conversation and tell us why we should trust you. Give us all the information. Yeah, to me, it's the same thing like once 24 hour news came in, we started to stop trusting the news because they're incentivized to always have news and a lot of the stuff they're spouting is bullshit or not well thought out and not fact checked, but they gotta get the product out.

Same thing with financial aid. Once financial aid came into the situation, now everybody can go to college. College was like, this is real money. So we're going to have to start to get people in here. We're going to have to start to have more classes, more teachers, more ways of thinking. And it ruined that whole idea of what education really supposed to be and how college is not necessarily needed for everyone. But they've pounded that message down your throat, like you can only get a good job and have a good life if you go to college, because the colleges make money off us investing in that statement. But that is so not true. We all know that that's not true. Now, it is not a requirement for my children to go to college. If they would like to go, I'm saving money for

them in a 529 savings plan if they would like to. It's not worth as much as it used to be. No, it is not. Exactly. It is not worth the price of investment unless they really want to do it. And I'd much rather them follow what their passion is or go to a specialized school. Harvard means absolutely nothing to me anymore. And it means nothing to most people out there.

Dude, I remember the school I went to was small. So it was 1,200 kids. So they charged a lot. It was like $25,000 a year when I graduated, which was crazy tuition. I went back and did a show there in like 2011. It was $43,000 a year. Like the inflation of college tuition is fucking bananas. It's unchecked because we just get a loan.

We don't think about it. That's what it is. Hey, you're supposed to go to college. I'll go to college. Let me get a loan. I'll think about that later. For you to be as successful as you are and you just paid off your college loans is fucking crazy, dog. You sold out Radio City Music Hall you just paid off your college loans is fucking crazy dog you sold

out radio city music hall that before you paid off your college loans i just paid it off i was nine hundred and forty thousand in debt between undergrad and grad and i don't even went to grad school yeah i went to grad school but grad school in itself because my parents did help with undergrad but grad school in itself was you know nearly a100,000 to come out and get a job at 53,000. You have an insane cultural pressure for education, but you still would- I don't, yeah. I mean, I think because I got a bachelor's and I'm doing okay, thank God, and thank you. But I'm looking at what college is becoming cost-wise, what you're getting benefit-wise,

and I'm like, yo. And I do think when like, like when Nimesh Patel, friend of ours, all of ours, got pulled off stage at Columbia because they didn't like his joke, I was legitimately not even on the side of comedy.

It was just like, this is supposed to be an institute of higher thinking. The highest thinking in the country, somebody says something you are somewhat uncomfortable with and you just yank them off stage. Yeah.

I remember that being a big moment for me and being like, what the fuck is going on at an Ivy League school is doing this? Right. So what is college becoming? Also, and again, I don't know if this is from the media or I don't know if this is real life because my children are not in college. I'd have a more accurate statement if they were in college.

But from everything I'm hearing, also college was supposed to be the part for young adults to have good discourse. Well, you can't have that anymore in college because if you say something that goes opposite of what the mainstream thought is, even if you have that backed up with facts and for whatever reason or passion, that will get slammed down. So what I then see is, well, now you're going to indoctrinate my child for $100,000 with whatever views you have that may not line up with me. I'm not doing it. Unless my child really wants to and has a really valid reason, then they're 18, they're an adult, they'll make their own decision.

I'm not worried about the indoctrination because I ain't paying enough attention in college to be indoctrinated. Most people go to college, they just try and get some pussy and pass. You know what I mean? So if you get indoctrinated in college, you're a nerd. Right. Do you know what I mean? Like, so if you get indoctrinated in college, you're a nerd. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm out here taking like the fucking intro to dancing class because there was girls

in it as we're dubbing up. Dancing through the ages was what mine was. What was ours? Different class. It was like that. And the professor would dance in every single period costume for the times. Yeah, it is a different college and what we went to. We graduated almost 20 years ago. No, no, no. It is a different college than what we went to. We graduated almost 20 years ago.

That is true. I understand that. But kids are still going to want to party. I don't know. I wonder if there's like a... Shortening. Specialized schools are going to be on the rise. You don't need four years and everyone decides in their third year unless you were going for like med school or things like that. But sometimes you do it for your parents.

I know it's probably like my mom stopped going to school when she was 15 years old. So I think it was a big deal for her that I got to further my education. I wonder, did either of your parents go to college? Yeah, both. So it was expected that you'd go. My mom tried to talk me out of it. No.

Oh, you told me that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that combo? Neither of my parents went to college, and they saw all my older siblings go. And very successful. Wait a minute. I thought your mother was a nurse.

She went to nursing school, so she did the two-year. Oh, okay. But she never actually went to a four-year degree. Interesting. So they saw my older siblings go to school. It wasn't really beneficial for them. One of my brothers was just in a fraternity, partied, and didn't really get anything from it. So they were like, look, we can spend money to go to school.

It's going to be fucking 40 grand for you to go for four years or whatever. Or we'll just give you the money to start a business. This is fire. So they're like, yeah, we'll just give you the money and then go do something with it and see what happens. See, I think that's really cool. And that's a lot of confidence in you from your parents. I didn't listen, though. I went to school.

It was my girl's mom that was like, well, you should check it out. And so then I ended up going. Do you regret it? No. I mean, I think it would have worked out either way. Did you feel pressure? Because that would make me feel pressure like bro if i blow this money on a business it doesn't work i get nothing out of it and then i have to live with that failure at 18 years old that is it's a great move but it also does put pressure on the kid

unwittingly of being like oh if i fail at this i got nothing to show for it but to me i'm like you have safety nets like my parents were like like if it fails like just come move back into the house there's also there's interesting other schools like northeastern you you start working right away like it's all connected with the companies my wife did a in undergrad which is cool i like that also or you could just be super successful i think all of you guys are going to be offered honorary doctorates at some point so do well in something and then i'm gonna take mine and shut my parents up. I do think college is really important, especially when you don't know what you want to do yet. It's like, imagine if you just,

you say you're not going to college at a young age, but you don't know what you want to do after high school. So now, like all those years, you're just kind of just stagnant. So it's like, at least you can be getting higher education and trying to figure it out while that's happening. I agree with you 100%. I don't, but even if in the case of the child that doesn't know what they want to do yet, spending $75,000 a year on that I don't think is worth it.

Like you could very easily find out what you want to do from a state school as opposed to going to UPenn or something. Do you know how many people that would get their MBAs that would actually go and work in the workforce. Their companies would pay for them to get their MBA. And then they'd come back with a higher salary. I agree. There is a price where it makes sense. Like if college was 10 grand a year or whatever, you go, this is a good time for me to explore and like look at different topics or whatever.

When it gets up to the 75 and you're just kind of like burdened with that debt for the rest of your life and you still don't know what you want to do after four years of college, then you're just getting fucked. And now that everybody has a degree, you're not making as much.

It's worthless. The government is a business too. They're a business just like Apple's a business. So they're incentivized to be like, we need your money we we want we want to you to rely on us so college and education that's what it sets you up for well this is actually really interesting what's the guy who does those great video essays explaining random

topics uh fuck i forget his name it might be cgb. He did something about the importance of education for a democracy. Okay. The government, like you said, makes money off of what? I mean- Taxation, right? Taxation and yeah, us relying on- Let's assume it's taxation is the only thing. Yeah. So the more money the constituents make, the more taxes they collect. Sure. So it behooves them to educate us so we get better jobs that pay more money so we pay more taxes to them. If you live in like a, if you live in, what is it called?

What is a dictator? Communist? Tyranny. Tyranny. If you live in tyranny, like you own the rights to all the minerals already there, all the money's going to one royal family. Like you don't need the people to be educated. It's like getting in the way. But when you don't, and the only way the government can get money is if we make money, they're like, yo, go get smart. Go be an engineer. Go do something so we can collect that bread.

The government is like our agent, our manager. Right. Do you know what I mean? They're like, get a Montreal audition. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you'll get a sitcom. I need to go collect. Yeah.

So it's an interesting way to look at it like that. Right. That's why they're trying to do the debt payback and stuff and trying to absolve people of student loans in order to get them to buy houses and start businesses instead of being 100 grand in debt. Oh, that's right. Because now it's not worth it because you're worried about paying off that debt instead of creating. And when you're paying off debt, I guess you can't. Oh, wait a minute. Is paying off your college debt tax free?

Can you write that off? I do think it's a deduction. I do. So if it's a deduction, that's less money that they are taking from us in taxes. Interesting. Deducting your loans?

Can you deduct them? Oh, you can't. Anyway, I thought that was kind of... My shit is paid off. Yeah. But it is fucking everyone up. And I think people are realizing it now. I mean, Neil Brennan has a joke about this. Student loans is just a small business loan. And you're people are realizing it now. I mean, Neil Brennan has a joke about this. Student loans is just a small

business loan. And you're going to a college being like, hey, my business is fucking chicks and drinking. And they're like, yeah, yeah, we'll support that business. It's insane that they're just giving unlimited money to all these people that apply for it. Interest is deductible up to $2,500.

So you never pay that off. Listen, Chrissy, I love you. I think you you go. Yeah, so you never pay that off. Listen, Chrissy, I love you. I think you're brilliant. Happy Father's Day. Happy Father's Day, man. You're a good dad. You're in a wonderful place, man.

Yeah. You came on here a few times and I'm not saying you were in a shitty place then, but just to hear you talk now, I'm like, wow. I said this exact same thing to him and I said this

to you off air when I remember when you started, there was like a, we all had, I had so many flaws, again, not criticism, but you had like a restlessness about you. And I feel like you're so much more at peace now. And that's cooler to see than MSG, as fucking cool as it is, as much as that's a dream.

This is even cooler to see. That's because I've fully given up. Yeah. Fourth place, baby. I think it was Epic Tea, as you said, the path to peace is just to stop trying to basically want events to happen the way you want them and just let them happen the way they happen. And then now you'll be peaceful. That's his religion right there. That's it.

That's what it is. I went full Indian. Hell yeah, baby. That's what it is. I smell you from above. Chrissy, we love you. And we are here for you if there's anything that you need, man. I can't wait till you sell out all those shows and if I'm in town

and you'll put a couple tickets to the side, we'd love to be there to support, man. Beautiful, baby. Hopefully the assholes will go out there and get those tickets right now. And this is Chris DiStefano. Tell them where they can see you. Tell them where they can watch you.

Tell them where they can get tickets. Tell them all the things. chrisdcomedy.com for all my Tiki Wikis. Just put a whole fall tour on sale. Atlanta, I'm coming to you for a special. We'll announce that soon. And then Theater at MSG, September 23rd. Radio City sold out September 22nd.

Thank you so much, baby. Do what's right.