Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Russel Brand Allegations, Hasan Minhaj Made Up Stories, & Deion Sanders Saved College Football

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

What’s good people today we discuss the assault allegations brought against Russel brand, we discuss if stories can be made up for political gain, and Deion sanders effect on college ball INDULGE! 00:44 Hasan's real life is INSANE 02:14 Comedians make up stories? Prom "date" had to marry Indian 05:02 Hasan told Akaash the Prom story YEARS ago 07:59 White House Correspondents off lies + Khashoggi & Kushner 09:40 Victimization separate from the comedy 16:17 New podcast - Hasan, Jussie, Santos, LeBron 20:13 Hasan Minhaj loses the Daily Show gig? 28:18 Hasan co-opting emotional truth - that's a part of comedy 35:56 The Russell Brand Story 39:57 How will it effect Russell? Might become bigger 43:07 Comedians are the real victims here 43:50 Deric Poston's wedding - GET MARRIED 45:02 Andrew CRIED + write your own vows yo 51:25 Renew your vows is the next move 54:58 Flagrant Padel tournament incoming 56:40 Fan almost gets Andrew Schulz with unreal joke 01:07:03 Deion Sanders is a Victor - immense magnetism + tough games incoming 01:16:36 Picks for the NFL 01:17:59 Halle Berry Slimed + Drake holding attention & timing fo release 01:30:23 Missing F-35 + Why would US admit it? 01:36:15 Hunter Biden, gun control + Trump somehow has normal kids 01:49:35 Is Joe Biden less stressed? George Bush is the GOAT

What's up everybody? Welcome to Flagrant and what a weekend for theatrical comedians. Some very interesting news comes up about our boy Hassan Minhaj. Minhaj, I think, yeah. How do we even know? How do we even know that that's how he pronounces the name? I think we get to decide what the truth is. I think that his name is 70% emotionally true. But the Arnold Palmer that is his last name But the Arnold Palmer that is his last name,

the Arnold Palmer that is his last name, we're not exactly certain on, so I think it's something you just flow with and you go with. You know what I mean? The actually annoying thing about, Hasan, you're going to get these fucking jokes. You deserved it.

But I like Hasan. He's a charming guy. He's a nice dude. He's always been nice to me, but you deserve this. But the crazy thing about the whole situation with him lying in his specials or about the stories in his specials is that if you know his real life, he has these insane things that have happened to him, like completely separate. When he came to America, it was on a boat with a tiger.

Really? Did you guys know? Dude, I had no idea yeah yeah yeah it was actually yeah he was like lost at sea and it was him and a tiger on a boat and they like forged they forged this like real friendship crazy because that okay that all makes sense that story that makes perfect that story that makes perfect sense because the tiger yeah i went before he came here i know he grew up in a jungle. Oh, no. Like a bunch of animals raised him. Like he knew how to speak to them. It was like a bear saved his life.

It was crazy. And the tiger, he must have made good with tigers. The tiger was a real enemy. They should make a movie on his life. Honestly, they could. Dude, he told me this one story about like going to White Castle with his Asian friend. And it was like, it was one of the most unbelievable stories I've ever heard. It was so many shenanigans.

It was shenanigans galore. And I'm like, why not do that? Tell the thing about how he really made his money. He won Who Wants to Be a Millionaire in India. And just talk about that. That's how he met his wife. What an amazing life experience

that you can play off of. Anyway. Anyway, so many things out there. But listen, tons of material for him to still mine. For all of you that are confused right now, news has come out. There's a New Yorker article that Hasan Minhaj may have been fabricating some things in his Netflix specials. Wait, but Andrew. Yes. Comedians make up stories all the time.

That's true. Now, usually we do it to make things funnier. Yeah. Not make things more racist or sad. Yeah. Or emotional. Yeah. And I think that's the tricky thing here with like in his stories. It's not like he was

using these exaggerations or hyperbole as punchlines. He was using them to kind of make the audience feel worse about him. And then it turns out these things didn't actually happen. Yeah, he made life worse for other people in real life. Oh, wait, how is that? You know the prom story, right? What's the prom story? Prom story, the homecoming king is based on this story that he was supposed to go to prom with a white girl, got to the door, she's putting a corsage on another guy, a white guy. Oh wow. Because her parents didn't like the fact that Hasan was Indian. And that's a terrible, terrible story.

Yeah. The lady responds. I know that pain. Lady responds and is like, not only is this not true, he asked me days before the prom, I just said no. And not only are my parents not racist, I'm married to an Indian. But here's the thing, and this is the problem when you lie in your specials. Is that girl had to marry an Indian.

So that people wouldn't think she's racist. Just to save face. Yeah, just to save face. So in a way, Hassan actually helped Indians. He did. Yeah. He might be a hero.

The ultimate wingman. He's a patriot. I would say got to marry an Indian. Yeah, you would say got to. You would say got to. Right, right, right. But the rest of us

would be like, ugh. How many years do you got to put in on this? They should do that for Indian matchmaking. Because that's the first thing she says.

She's like, I'm not racist. I married an Indian. She had to fucking do it because he bullied her into it. But I do like this idea that if a girl rejects me, she's racist. Because there's a lot of racist brown girls that I didn't know were racist. I got to see this girl because he's handsome. Hasan is handsome.

He is a handsome man. Gray fucking hair. We have to look at this girl. She might be racist, bro. She might be ugly enough where she's racist, dude. Or we gotta see what this white dude that she went to prom looked like. I think we need to do a little research. I think we need to do a little research.

I think we might have to defend, he might be right about that one. She might have been racist. Okay, okay, got it. Bro, I need to have that level of confidence, bro. Where if you don't like me, you're racist. The only way you could not like me- Don't you wish? Objectively. You wish you had that.

She gotta be fat. She gotta be fat. This girl gotta be fat. There's no way that she's a cutie. Cuz he gotta think he's doing her a favor. And then when she says no, he's like, this bitch racist. Yeah, but why say I went to the door? You didn't go to the door.

This was crazy. He told me that story like 13 years ago. I'm here for a vagina and bump. No, you don't show up. We just text you nicely. Wait, hold on. He told you the story in real life? Yeah, like we were cool a long time ago. I'm talking like 2012,

bro. He and I used to be friends. I kind of realized whatever. I didn't know this was a lie. I thought all the reasons I don't fuck with this guy This wasn't one of them We're sitting at a fucking diner And he tells me this story

As a trauma story I'm dead ass I believed it this whole time He was working it out I feel, son That's the craziest shit Yeah We're just eating in and out, bro

Why you gotta lie to me more? You know what? You probably said something like You went to their house? And he was like, yeah And he was like I gotta keep that part that was good so then he said i got to the door this is then he joked to get me on his side obviously he's like so i can't trust white women and i was like yeah dog that makes sense but then i will be i remember when he said what his parents

her parents said to him it's just not a good fit. And then I remember being like that. Okay, well your parents would say the exact same thing. It's just not a good fit. Like this is what both, your parents would say that more. Your parents would be like, what the fuck are you thinking, man? This is not a good fit. She's not the same country, not the same race, not the same faith. What's going on? This is not a good fit, Matt

in Congress. Yeah. So I do remember thinking that. And then now he's happily married. Happily married. Which probably wouldn't have happened if he was with that white girl. Yeah. So I do remember thinking that. And then now he's happily married. Happily married. Which probably wouldn't have happened if he was with that white girl. Yeah.

That white devil. And that white devil is now married to an Indian. Miserable. Right? So this ended up working in his favor. It turns out

lying kind of works for him. Lying is awesome. That's pretty good. You're not lying? No. Try it out. I think one of the things that we have to really separate

is there are comedians that plenty of us, all of us exaggerate things in our jokes. To be funny, yeah. Or change things. That joke I did, the not fuck me joke. Yeah. I was at a hotel with my boy. That didn't happen at a hotel. We were at the Selka and Case.

Oh, yeah. And one of our friends, Case goes, yeah, I go, yeah, you can just crash at my place if you want to go home. And he goes, yeah, but what? And we could sleep head to toe and put the pillows. And I was like, yeah,

or you can not fuck me. In the joke, it's funnier to just make it in a hotel. Absolutely. So we change these things to make parts of the joke funnier. Yes. It's a completely different thing.

It's Jussie Smollett when you are lying about victimization. Yeah. So I don't like it when people are starting to target other comics who have things that aren't exactly true in their stories. This is not comic. He's not lying about the funny part. If he was, if he found a way to anthraxing the daughter thing is crazy. That shit is crazy.

What is that? What is that? In retrospect, it's funny as hell. What is that? What is that? In retrospect, it's funny as hell. Knowing that he was lying about that. The idea that this guy wasn't the funniest. There's pure comedy in this. But actually, every part is funny.

If you realize none of it is true, the whole thing is hilarious. This is the greatest comic ever, I think. Bro, but think about it. He got to do the, what is it called when you make fun of the president? White House Correspondents Dinner. Yeah, off of lies. Like, that's great. No, but getting sent anthrax levels you up, because they only send that to important people. To the bosses.

That's a flex. That was a dope move. And what's his face got a shot to? So he conflated some timelines to make what he went through a little bit more serious. He was making fun of I think the Saudis or something like that. Yeah, Jamal Khashoggi. I have less of an issue with this actually. That's fine, that's fine.

I'm just telling the people. So I guess in one of the stories he was making fun of the Saudis and then he had a meeting cuz he wanted to interview MBS, who is Mohammed bin Salim, I think his name is. He is the guy who runs the Saudi, what is it, the PIF it's called, or PLF. All their money, all their funds, makes all their decisions. He's boss. And he went to go meet with them, and then I guess he left, and everybody was freaking out because he said the same day Khashoggi was chopped up at the Saudi embassy in Turkey. And people are going, oh, my God, is everything okay?

embassy in Turkey, right? And people are going, my God, is everything okay? And he said something about the meeting or the event that night that Jared Kushner sat in a seat that was reserved for this Saudi journalist, right? And apparently, Jared Kushner didn't even go to the event. Yeah. It was just a shot at Jared. There was no chair for him. There was no chair.

Yeah. So there was just a shot at Jared for no reason. And to your point, the lie there was to make it wasn't to be funny. It was to make himself a hero. And then a lot of the other lies to kind of add to what you said. I think they're to kind of like push. I don't want to say an agenda, but to push a political agenda, for lack of a better way to say it. Whereas if you are lying just to be if the whole Bert Kreischer machine story was fake, I don't none of us think it is.

But if it was, who cares? It's hilarious. We're just laughing at Burt Kreischer. That would break my heart, though. It would shake your confidence? It would break my heart. If the machine story wasn't real? You've been calling the machine this whole time for no reason.

No, I wouldn't care. I'd be so happy with it. I'd be more impressed that you could make up that whole ass story. I thought it was fake. Come on, bro. I did. It was real, dude. I thought it was fake. Come on, bro. I did. It was real, man. I thought it was just

a made-up story for a comedy bit. And you still loved it. Yeah, I did. Hold on, hold on. You were saying if Bert never went to Russia, that wouldn't bother you

a little bit? It would actually bother me a little bit. Thank you. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. I was using hyperbole

to prove a point. Prove, prove, prove. It's my emotional truth. That was my emotional truth. Can I be emotionally honest with you? You were being emotional right there. It was beautiful. I really want to appreciate that, and I want to reward that.

Now, here's the thing. If some of the things said within the story have been tweaked a little bit to be funny, if he makes the Russian person say something funnier, you're doing your job as a comedian. That's great. There's no way that every single story a comedian says, when the comedian says the perfect witty thing back, that that happened in the moment. Because most comedians are awkward as fuck in the moment, and they're not going to come up with that line. And that's why they'll go home and they'll sit in the shower for an hour and think about what they would have said, and then that pops up in the joke. That's why I just want to separate this from comedy.

I hate that this is getting pulled into – people are bringing up hilarious jokes. The Chappelle baby joke is fucking hysterical. We all know. Yes. Is sarcasm, which we all know isn't a real thing. Yeah. It's used to point out things that might be real. Yeah. But people go, oh, see, you can lie there. You can like, no, no, Chappelle's not lying about the emotionally manipulative part. He's not lying about the victimization part. Yeah. So I also think a lot of those people didn't read the full article because the headline is like, the stories aren't true. Big deal. Yeah.

And then you read it and you're like, this is crazy. This woman's life really hurt her parents got death threats. This is crazy. Oh, really? Yeah, the prom date. So the anthrax shit is too. That's too good. That's crazy.

That's crazy. That's too good. That's crazy. I gotta melt myself some baby powder. Level up in this bitch, right? The anthrax got on his daughter and he had to take her to the hospital. How do you even write that? How do you even write that?

Why would you even want to think about something like that? When people call out of work, they'll say, I have a family member. Why your daughter get in the mail? Why your daughter get in the mail? Nobody asked about that? You make your daughter open up the mail? Can I daughter get in the mail? Nobody asked about that. You make your daughter open up the mail? Can I be honest, though?

In an Indian house, they just make the youngest person go get everything. Is that right? Yeah, go get me some water. Go get the mail. You're like a golden retriever. No way. But for, yeah, just like random things around. A mail wallet.

Get that for me. You're the mail wallet. You're a task wallet. You're a task rabbit. Wow, bro. Yeah, I mean, just too funny. Just too funny. Yeah, and then he-

He got to lean in with this next one. The article said he invited the girl from the Homecoming story to- Watch. To watch the show. Yes. Oh, that's next level. And apparently used a photo of her in the show, but then blurred out her face. With the brown boyfriend, which he, obviously that ruins the whole story about her being racist.

So he blurred his face too. Yeah. And then she still got Yeah. I think she might have been racist, yo. I ain't gonna lie. I still need to see this girl. Are you not allowed to have your emotional truth? You and him both think she was racist. You just agree. That's it. Yeah, we agree on the emotional truth. 100%.

Nothing wrong with that. I think she's racist. You think she's racist, and who are we to tell you you're wrong about another human being's feelings? Hold on a second. I don't think she's racist, but I do think that she agreed to go to prom with him. Okay. Because he admitted that. He was like, yeah, her version is true. But he's got to do that because he's super lefty.

So he's got, you know, women are always right. He has to agree, but deep down he knows. He's super lefty, but he's also super Muslim. So women aren't always right or wrong. He has to agree, but deep down he knows. He's super lefty, but he's also super Muslim. So women aren't always right. Oh, maybe he just didn't accept Noah's answer because he's Muslim. Maybe that was it.

Maybe there's a... That's not true either. That's because he's Indian. Oh, there you go. So listen, it's a cultural thing. Like she was like, no, and he was like,

yes. He was like, let me talk to your parents. We'll arrange this. You don't get to make these decisions. Matter of fact, if he did go talk to the parents and then he maybe would have respected it. They're like, no, it isn't a fit.

Yeah, star signs don't align. Dude, yeah. Why do you get offended by that? We got to look at, what is it called? The math, the Columbine. What does the Indian woman do? Kundali, yeah, the star chart. The star chart, yeah, yeah.

I remember when that Indian girl was doing multiplication. You see that video? No, but I bet she was multiplying the fuck out of her. Oh myali, yeah, the star chart. The star chart, yeah, yeah. I thought you were talking about when that Indian girl was doing multiplication. Did you see that video? No, but I bet you- You didn't see this? You're multiplying the fuck out of her. Oh my God, I'll pull it up. It was literally this Indian girl just doing math, and they just ask her numbers, and there's like 55 plus 72 plus 105, and she's just doing abacus in her head. You haven't seen this video?

Bro, it's on the- I'm talking about the Indian dating show where Shorty asked- Yeah, no, Indian matchmaking. Yeah. I thought you were talking about the girl doing math, bro. Fuck. Nah, bro. But you don't even need to pick it up love watch your retard okay no so here's the question i would like to know what shorty looks like but i guess her picture's not out there i can't find it because to turn down her song i will say the i know you want to be the hottest indian but

i'm 40 and married who gives a fuck how much did you pay that that new yorker writer to do No offense. I know you want to be the hottest it did, but you know. I'm 40 and married. Who gives a fuck? How much did you pay that New Yorker writer to do this? That's what I'm talking about. How much did you pay that motherfucker? This is my special. I told you I was going to be fired. I told you I was going to be fired.

I just filmed a special that's mostly true. Hassan is out of here. It's emotionally true. Those are the two specials. Bring back a poo, get rid of Hassan. That's what he's got to call it. And Netflix budget is wide open. Wide open, dog. Y'all gotta fill it. Do you feel like the article was a little bit of a hippie, though? Yeah, because

Shorty was definitely emotionally manipulated by the... You know that whoever wrote it was riding for Hassan for like five years, and then randomly was at a bar and was like, oh, what? Here's what happened. It better be exactly what happened for you to cut off my little fun rant. It better be the exact thing that

happened, because you boys built the momentum. I was about to 70% truth you, and I was about to give you the nice little... I didn't pick up on this. A journalist friend of ours filled me in. The New Yorker was doing a feature on him. And they fact checked. The New Yorker fact checks everything. They don't fuck around.

That's like their reputation. He just kept lying to them. He kept telling them all these stories as facts. So they started fact checking them. And then nothing was adding up. Like the daughter hospitalization short. There's no record hospitalization record. The building didn't have any record of anything.

They like were very thorough. Yo, that's some wild shit to like hold on to the lie outside of the show. Sonny lied to me at an In-N-Out 15 years ago. We need to sit down. Hasan and Juicy. Juicy and Hasan. Juicy, Malay, and Hasan. We need to sit down.

Juicy, Hasan, and you got to Juicy, Hassan, and you gotta add Santos in that Come on, those are the goats right there Imagine that barbershop talk LeBron, Juicy, Smollett LeBron lying about all the books he read Juicy, Smollett George Santos

Parents from the Blind Side This could be a phenomenal podcast. Should we arrange this? Yeah, we need to. I think we should. It's so funny. It's the most our guys has known about Indian shit. Stop. He knows every detail about Indian shit. Was that a regular episode of Patreon

with the two left? Oh, that was Shane. That was Shane's mother. Oh my god, that was phenomenal. Yo, you know why Shubh ain't shit? Why? Because Shubh, after the pod, was like, I used to think the same thing. Shubh grew up in India. He didn't want to make you feel better. No, I said, why didn't you say something? He never thought that once in his life.

I said, why didn't you say something? He goes, I didn't want to get destroyed on the podcast. They were killing you. I didn't kill me. I told Emma the story. Yeah. And Emma's been to India. And she was like, yeah, I saw that on all the buildings, too.

I knew it was to let. Like, I knew it was to rent. Yeah, but she's Jewish. She knows how to own land. She knows how to be a landlord. Don't start that movers. Tour announcements. First of all, Long Island, thank you all so much, man.

Six sold out shows at the Paramount. That was unbelievable. Thank you to everybody who came out. This weekend, we're in Niagara Falls at Doubt, and we're in Windsor, Ontario at the Coliseum at the Caesars. Some tickets left for that, pull up.

Also, Dublin, thank you guys so much. We're adding more seats. This has been incredible. The Three Arena in Dublin, iconic location. We just added more seats, so go get those as soon as you can.

Manchester, you've been asking, we added a second show, okay? London, we're not adding you can. Manchester, you've been asking, we added a second show, okay? London, we're not adding another show. So if you're from London or any of the surrounding areas, get your ass on a train, come up to Manchester. We're doing a 4 p.m. show that same day, it's October 15th. Also, November 13th, we added a second show in Perth, Australia, okay? Melbourne, we just added more seats in the John Cain Arena. Sydney, we added a second show at the Aware Super Theater, an unbelievable theater in Sydney. Cannot wait to get in there. And we also have Brisbane Entertainment Center in Brisbane.

That's November 19th. We'll see you all there. All those tickets, dandrushultz.com. And some cool announcements coming soon, all right? Also, guys, show announcements. First of all, thank you to everybody who came out of stress factory. It was crazy. We sold all four shows out super quickly, added a fifth show that sold out super quickly. Sorry, we could not add a sixth. I truly did not have the time, but I'm going to take a little time off of standup, try to get my brain right. But I'll be back in Atlanta, October 27th, 28th and 29th. And if there's not a lot of low key gay dudes trying to fuck me at all three of these shows,

I'm going to feel very unattractive. So I want Indians, openly gay dudes, low key gay dudes. And I think I just described all of Atlanta. Women too. Women. I forgot half the population. Anyway, after Atlanta, next show on the docket is December 1st and 2nd in Portland, Oregon. And then December 8th in New Orleans, Louisiana. And I have a big announcement coming for y'all next week. Buckle the fuck up. People have been asking me from a very specific region where to perform. And it's not India.

I will do India. But y'all got to get your exchange rate in order. But there's one more big show coming. You'll see what it is. Oh, guys, and before I forget, we did Twitch stream the NFL this past Sunday. Then I realized I ain't got a real following on Twitch. So we moved over to YouTube where your boy's getting close to a million and it was fun as fuck. So we're going to do it again next week. Akash Singh Comedy on YouTube. Subscribe if you haven't already. Let's hit a million. But either way, NFL this Sunday. Hey, what's up, guys? We're going to do the world's fastest dates announcement. Toronto, September 28th.

Come see me and Derek Post in Comedy Bar. Let's get back to the show. Suck his dick! So what do we do with this? What are the repercussions? Do you think this affects him career-wise? What is the... I don't know.

I hope it does because I have a special that I'm shopping. So I was clear on some money. They're saying he can't host the daily show now. That's like, I think he's still in the running. There's no way. Like he was like a front runner. You can't. Branding wise, he seems like an obvious choice.

I don't. Branding wise, he's obvious. Skill wise, he's obvious. And he's an excellent host. Yeah, he's fantastic. They should have offered him way before this article. But the show, I mean, the daily Show is supposed to be about truth, right? Like you're supposed to, the guy who is admit to not telling the truth can't host The Truth Show. I think The Daily Show would get too much criticism.

That being said, I don't think that his fan base will care that much. And I think he'll still be able to tour and still be able to make these pieces. And maybe they'll go into it with a little bit more realistic viewpoint. Or maybe it'll change how he does the shows now that he's felt the repercussions of not being honest. I hope so, because this is, bring back Apu, the whole ethos is we're not victims. So watching the tromedy thing get exposed,

where these South Asian dudes are like, dude, we're these victims of systematic oppression. It's like, no, you're not, dude. They're kind of co-opting the black stuff. Yeah, and it's like, look, I ain't no fucking ally, but I'm not gonna call myself an ally. In America, we're richer than white people, on average.

We're killing everyone. We're not victims. We're killing it. What? We're richer than you, on average. Miles, how did we let this happen? Hey, you didn't let nothing happen. You didn't let nothing happen. We took it, like you do. No, no, no, they do that. We don't do that.

Nah, but I don't think nothing happens to him. Yeah, I think- I don't think this affects him at all. You don't think the Daily Show thing would? Nah, I think he still can host that. No one cares about shit anymore. Nobody cares about integrity. That's interesting. I think there is less of a concern probably now about things being truthful. And his lies didn't really hurt.

Besides the prom chick, Shorty, his lies didn't hurt anybody. I think he'll be fine. I think kind of like Aziz is still killing it. But some people felt let down by this guy that was like, damn, woke. He's still doing theaters. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's got a movie that he made. I just haven't seen him.

I think it might be like that. A lot of brown people worship this guy. They felt all these things that happened to him. The FBI informants shit, all that spoke to them. The informants shit was wild. The craziest thing. Did you hear he actually has hemiprom?

That's the real story. The real story. And then he became an informant? Yes. No. No, the FBI shit is... It's insane, dude.

It's insane. So tell me... So the FBI informant story is that this FBI informant infiltrated his mosque right after September 11th. Yeah.

And I think... Which you gotta. Yeah, yeah. You gotta have a presence. You gotta have a presence. Back then, none of us would have been mad at it. We'd gotta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta have a presence. You gotta have a presence. Back then, none of us would have been mad at it. We'd have been like,

yeah, I get it. Gotta have a presence. Even the Muslims are probably like, I get it, bro. We're good, but I get it. Gotta have a presence. But I guess his parents took him in

and then he was asking all the brown kids there, like, what do you know about jihad? And then Hassan was like, I decided to have fun with him and I told him I'm getting my pilot's license. That night,

cops show up at my house, slam my face on the hood of the police car door, whatever, all this crazy shit. And then the story turns out to not be true. And they said, what is that? What's your emotional truth for that one? He was like, well, I was playing pickup basketball with these white guys.

And one of them fouled me kind of hard. That's hilarious. I get that, though. I still think that girl was racist. I still think that girl was racist. That's hilarious. Tracy. I get that, though. I still think that girl was racist. I still think that girl was racist. That's the lemonade. That's the lemonade. I love this.

Any girl that rejected me is racist. A lot of racist brown girls out there. Fucking hate brown girls. Y'all some racist bitches, yo. Hate pretty ass brown boys with green eyes and perfect beards. Skinny fat, you know what I mean? You ain't seen my shirt off while you reject me. That's facts, bro.

But imagine you ask a girl Hey, are you racist? She's gonna go, no, I'm not racist That guy's a liar She has every incentive to lie You know what I mean? Oh, shit That's true

I was right Yeah That's what I'm saying You're right, I was right Yeah Yeah, I don't think that we could trust this girl I'm gonna be honest I don't think that we could trust this girl

I don't think so I think we have to meet the husband. Who is the husband? I mean, bro, who knows? Oh, I know. Hassan. Yeah. That's who he's really married to. He's actually not married to a brown

woman. He doesn't have brown kids. He's married to a blonde-haired, blue-eyed white girl. Yes. Take the mask off. Yes. Whoa. Yes. Scooby Doo. Take the mask off. Yes. Whoa. Yes. Joke's on you, Akash.

Married a brown woman. I fucked up. You fucked up. You could have actually achieved the American dream. Yeah, dude. Which is, Alex? White women. Minorities marrying white women. Yeah.

This is the American dream. Get that anthrax in the mail. Some white powder, baby. You know what I'm saying? Some white women. This is the American dream. Get that anthrax in the mail. Some white powder, baby. You know what I'm saying? Some white girl. You want some white girl in the mail. Anthrax is a metaphor.

You're going to get that. Anthrax is a metaphor. It's a metaphor. Dude, did Russell Brand not do a real solid to Hassan this weekend? Because Hassan was going to dominate the comedy conversation.

Oh, yeah. And then Russell Brand came out and he was like, you know what? The British have done enough to Indians over the years. I think that he deserves his reparations. And he slid in and he just took over the noose.

Do you think that he's been serving out Rappaccinos over the last... Don't laugh at that. Sounds like a delicious... We can't say that word. A Rappaccino? Starbucks points right there.

Okay, okay. How about rapatouille? How about that? Do you think that he's been serving up rapatouilles over these years? Cuz we can't say the word because the word- The word is triggering. The word is triggering, it's also gonna get us demonetized, that's what we really care about. But what do you think his scenario has been?

He might have, I don't know. We'll have to see what the court says and see if they confirm he's been giving out raffle pies. I don't know. I don't know if he's been serving a warm raffle pies to the women of London. I don't know. Okay, can we go over the stories? Okay. Can we just, what exactly are the stories?

Four women have accused Russell Brand of giving them these Michael Rappaports and... No! No! No! It's a big deal, dude. It's a big deal. No! I'm not Rappaport. Just screaming in their face.

No way. God, man. Now listen, we've had Russell Brand on the show. I know. This is tricky. Why didn't you ask him this? Say again? Why didn't you ask him?

Well, because I knew it was true. Okay? That's why. It would have made the conversation a little awkward. Yeah. It would have made it a little awkward if you brought it up. We're trying to talk about the metaphysical universe. You know?

Because in that universe, it's consensual. No, okay. Let's break this down because we should not be having these kind of funny conversations right now. No, of course not. It's a serious issue.

Let's just have, just to chill the hell out. Okay. Okay. Do we have a little drink? Does anybody have any shrapple? What is shrapple? No, just a little snapple little drink does anybody have any what's your favorite flavor of it it's

funny because uh do you want to drink is how most of these cases started but here's the crazy thing yeah sober well he's a sober guy not from doesn't use the drug addicts. Not from when these stories are coming out, right? I thought these were all back in the day when he was a wild boy. He didn't read the article. He met one of them in a...

I don't mind you not reading, but I do mind you trying to correct someone who read it. That bothered me. That bothered me. That's my 70% truth right there. That's Russell Brand's new excuse, bro. Russell Brand's new excuse% truth right there. It's emotional truth? Yeah, go ahead. That is Russell Brand's new excuse, bro. You know what bothers me? Russell Brand's new excuse is my emotional truth is they were about it, yo. 70% of them were about it.

Yeah. There's about 30% of them. There was some pretty short lemonade. Yeah, a lot of sweet tea. The thing that bothers me about the emotional truth line is that comedy is actually that. If you look at old Borscht Belt stuff, like the one-liners, like, take my wife, please. The emotional truth is

my wife can be kind of frustrating, so I'm going to write a joke that is and, by the way, I finally understood that joke. Broussard explained it to us. It was, take my wife, for example. That's the sentence that you would normally say. Women are amazing. Take my wife, for example.

Women are amazing. Take my wife for example. Women are amazing, take my wife. Please. Please. Yeah, but the emotional truth is, my wife is frustrating, so let me write a joke about giving her to another man or something. The emotional truth is there, that's what comedy is, emotional truth. And then you write a sarcastic or a misdirection or a fable, a lie, punchline that satisfies that emotional truth.

So I don't even like him co-opting this emotional truth thing. Because if you look at so many of the great comedians, the emotional truth is there. You look at Eddie Murphy doing the half, the half joke in Raw. He's talking about a woman getting half. The frustration that comes out. Look at Bernie Mac talking about his three kids and what he would do to the three kids. He's talking about hitting them. That's the emotional truth. I don't think he's beating up these little fucking kids. I mean, black family.

Fair enough. He's not scared of them. He is scared. But let's say, for example, he is not doing anything, but he recognizes the emotional truth is it's funny to say that he will. I'll beat him to the white meat. He's not gonna beat you until that. But it's funnier. Yeah.'s funny to say that he will. I'll beat him to the white meat. He's not going to beat you until that. But it's funnier. Funnier to say it.

So I don't like that even being pulled in there because that's pure stand-up. Pure stand-up is not lying about victimization and then not satisfying it with a joke. Like that, yeah. I don't like that. Also, one other thing with Hasan, I just feel like... The beard looks great.

He's just a handsome fucking guy. So handsome and a hairline? It's fantastic. How? Fantastic. How? I like that. Also, one other thing with Hasan. I just feel like. The beard looks great. And he's just a handsome fucking guy. So handsome and a hairline. It's fantastic. How? Fantastic. How? I like him. I like him. She was racist, bro.

She was fucking racist, Hasan. And don't you ever forget it. Yeah. Okay? It really fucking bothers me. Yeah, dude. That thing really fucking bothers me. Because he became so ingratiated with the Hollywood machine, I also think people are

taking it harder on him. You know what I mean? If you don't like Hollywood, you're using him as the latest. I think he can be seen as an agent of liberal media. And as a result, there's all these people on the right that are ready to go at him no matter what. I don't even think they really care about him. I bet you most of them didn't even see this. He's just a tool.

Yeah. He's just a tool for them to hammer away at liberal media. But he also used them to get, you know what I mean? He used it to get where he was and placated them and played to them and tethered to them at all times. I think you should always be wary of, and this is on the right or the left, anybody that 100% toes the company line or the party line, or a lot of times it's not even party, because I think Hassan would push back against Democrats, obviously push back against Republicans. But if your philosophy is liberal or Republican only 100%, you should always be a little bit skeptical of what's going on here,

because oftentimes that's more of a costume that you're wearing for financial gain and uh both sides this happens on both sides and the people who are going to still go to his shows are going to be okay with the fact that it was lies because it serves the truth that they want to hear exactly exactly so yeah that's something like you said always be wary of uh i'm sure you've done this a thousand times but there were certain people on the right wing that wanted to interview me when bring back poo came out and i was like no you're out of your fucking mind you think i'm doing that because i'm not gonna be your puppet yeah you're not gonna do this to me where you want an agenda and then you wrote me into it and

then i'm a part of that no i'm gonna be an independent human being who thinks straight yeah and i think if you do that you're gonna get fucked whenever by the other side whenever the truth comes out look at that integrity just digging i'm the best i'm the i comes out. Look at that integrity, just digging. I'm the best. I'm a hero. But I think this a lot of times happens. And the problem is that he did create some really beautiful art. I remember watching the first special, and it was beautiful.

It was really great, the way that they did it. It was just really good. But I think, I think the problem is, is like, and you know, we talked about this before. It's like when you're focused on art,

you'll try to stay true and authentic to that art. And I think when people get caught up in success or the addiction for fame, um, you do anything you can to feed that. The coolest thing you did after Infamous is six months off of stage. Six months. Yeah, because I wanted it to be pure. I wanted to find the next thing I wanted to talk about.

And what you're doing now is so different and so cool. That's not happening if you're chasing something besides the art. Yeah, 100%. And listen, we've got some huge advantages. We have a very successful podcast that is going to pay the bills. So we have the ability where we can take time off and find out the next thing that we're passionate

about, how we want our art to be reflected, like what we really want to write about. And that takes fucking time. If you just go right back into it, you're just going to rewrite the same version of the last thing you did. And so I think we should take advantage. Not everybody has that. There are some people, they just need to keep pounding the road because they got fucking kids. They got mortgages. They got to keep doing it.

So, but this is, I think this is a good example of, wow, that works so well. How can we beat that? What if I don't have a story that's as good as that? Let's say the first one was real. What if you don't have another story that's as good as that? Yeah. Well, that's what people want. We have to deliver that. We've shit on her on this pod and all that but i'll say this i watch hannah gaspy's both both are specials the second one she said something was very self-aware

she was like dude if i had known trauma was going to make me so much money i wouldn't have used it all up in the first thing and that immediately makes you trust her where you're like oh she at least acknowledges and now she's then she just like, the second one is like a comedy special. It's hers, but it's not like some tromedy thing. It is just like, we're trying to be funny, whatever, it's personal. But I can respect trying to do it differently than that. Exactly.

And if you found out that Hannah didn't tell the truth about that thing, about the things that happened, that she had so much success with, obviously there'd be like this icky feeling. Yeah, and I also think putting the person out, like if she put the person up that did it and was like here's a picture and it's blurred out and then people were able to dox him and his life got ruined and then it came out none of it was

true yeah you would look at her and be like that's fucking crazy crazy yeah that's crazy yeah so i think it's okay to have this reaction and i think hasan has to take this and this is the bed you made but i don't think that his career is over should he quit stand-up forever no i think you should just go back to doing stand-up like do stand-up where you can you know more take these liberties with jokes you know what i mean like actually reverse what you're doing you know i think he's going like here's the tough emotional thing right here and then there's no joke at the end of it. Like just use these tough emotional things as the joke. You know what I mean?

Like your daughter finding this powder in it immediately. And you know, you're finding a powder in an envelope. Right. And you having to like remove your daughter. So you could snort it. You know what I mean? Like whatever,

that's the joke. It's like, she's already into this. America's corrupting them, blah, blah, blah. Not,

Oh my God, dysentery. The world is so racist. And look what's happening to me. Yeah. Youing them, blah, blah, blah. Not, Oh my God, Dysanthrox, the world is so racist and look what's happening to me. Yeah. You know, his next special could be fire. If he goes full lie,

if he just opens up like the way Louie opened up with like, so how was your year? You know what I mean? Like if he's able just to confront it and be really honest about what happened. Yeah. I think you could just bounce back. Yeah. I mean,

that is the beauty of uh of stand-up and art it's like you're if you're able to articulate what you were doing how you did it in an entertaining and fun way people will listen yeah people listen russell on the other hand might have a little bit of a hard so what do we think with the russell thing because obviously when we when we asked him to come on the pod you know we'd seen this guy uh come to america and like there was this massive splash when he came. He's so fucking charismatic, really funny, charming.

In person, very charismatic. Smart, of course, engaging. And then these stories come out. So there's four stories. There are four different girls that are claiming different, I don't know, versions of sexual assault and rape. One girl, it's an age thing.

I think they started dating when she was 16. No, there's an assault with that. Because the age thing, she was 16. And then Russell takes interest, they go on dates, whatever. Parents weren't into it. She feels like there was grooming involved. But the age of consent in the UK is 16. So that in and of itself isn't illegal it's just icky to use your earlier yeah but then she says there was also uh assault within the relationship i think he like uh made her give

him head while she was sleeping or something like that something like that and like she's like punching him to get the story says she's punching him to get her off he won't do it he finally does right and then he says according allegedly i just want to see your mascara run away a bit. Which, the verbiage also sounds like the way an English dude would say it. So you're like, well, that sounds like familiar mourning. That's rough. Also, he wears mascara, too.

So maybe that's something that he's more familiar with. He just has a greater understanding. If you want to see mascara run away, wash your face, bro. Exactly. Now, her parents didn't approve of the relationship. Are they racist? I think they are racist. I think they could be racist.

I think he showed up at the door, and then her parents were like, I don't think this is a good fit. She was dressed as Osama bin Laden again. No way. At the time, when he went on a date with her. That's why. No way. They said, we don't want you marrying a Saudi Pakistani guy. And then they went on a date. It. That's why. No way. They said, we don't want you marrying a Saudi Pakistani guy. It has nothing to do with Osama.

No. It's just the fact that he's brown. Yeah, exactly. So here's the thing about it that's obviously tricky is, and he brought up something that I thought

was quite interesting. When he was working at Channel 4, I guess, which is like a British channel. It's a British, one of the news channels or whatever. I think Channel 4 was one of the organizations behind this expose. And it's like, so when I was working for you, you didn't care to do the background check to find out if there was any legitimacy to this.

You were arguably protecting me from some of these allegations. And now that I'm not working for you, now that I'm going against the mainstream media, now that I'm pushing back against the narratives that you push, all of a sudden you're willing to come forward with this article, which is, I understand. Also, these four women only came out when approached by the journalist. So they weren't coming out on their own accord. No, one of them tried to, well, she went to the clinic and got the anti-rape kit or the rape kit or whatever it's called.

She got the rape kit, but then she chose not to press charges and pursue it. Yeah. So it is a tricky situation and women don't pursue these things for many different reasons. Yes. Okay, there's embarrassment, there's fear.

This is like a famous person. Fear makes complete sense. 100%. And he already did something to me that's like going to terrify me forever. 100. But unfortunately, this also does create room for skepticism. When the journalist is tracking down the girls and going, hey, didn't he do something to you? These other girls said he did it. Hey, didn't he do something? Hey, didn't he do something? And all of a sudden you're trying you you have a specific motive here the journalist it appears doesn't want to find out that he's innocent yeah her article is he's a predator and she's gonna keep asking

people until she finds out that he's a predator yeah now we would hope that they have the journalistic integrity if she didn't find out that they were, that she would just go, okay, we're not gonna post anything. I'm not gonna write this article. But again, you don't know. And there is that wiggle room right there. So it's tricky, man. It's really fucking tricky. Do you think his audience will care, assuming that the charges go through and he's not convicted in a court of law, because they're not able to prove it hypothetically. I think it stops him from doing anything in the industry for a long time unless he is exonerated.

I think he hasn't been given up on the industry, though. Yeah, he has. It might make things tricky like having a big-time promoter for his tour or putting out a special on a Netflix or an Amazon or something like that. It might make those things tricky, but he can continue to exist, I think, online and build his following. Multiple allegations is always a lot. That's a lot.

That's a lot. Now, when he was on the show, you kind of mentioned that he wasn't very Indian and he was using Indian ideas. Yeah, this is the thing that... Is this one of them? Yeah, do you feel like he's proving his Indian-ness?

Is this one of them? Oh, wow. Like, now do you believe it? I don't know if I believe him more, but I like him more. Can he do the Hindu stuff now? Can you give him a Hindu pass? No, that's not Hindu, dude.

That's not Hindu. It is a little Indian, but it's not Hindu. Not Hindu. All right? Let's fucking... Let's not conflate these two That's not Hindu. It is a little Indian, but it's not Hindu. Not Hindu. All right? Let's not conflate these two things, the culture and the faith. That's fair. That's fair.

Catholics, on the other hand, they don't know nothing about rapists. No, of course not, dude. That's your faith, dude. Yeah, dude. He's not American. You guys don't know what's going on. Come on, man. Anyway, so what are we thinking here?

What happens to Russell? Hopefully, it's going on. Come on, baby. Anyway, so what are we thinking here? What happens to Russell? Hopefully it's not true. Yes. Like in all these cases, hopefully women are not victimized. Yes. But what's crazy is I think he gets bigger. Oh, if he's accused and then it turns out that it was bullshit. Well, it doesn't even have to turn out it was bullshit.

Like a rape conviction is apparently, I didn't even realize it until recently, really hard. It's even hard to get it to trial. So until that happens, it's just going to be this is bullshit. Nothing is happening. They're not going to make it to trial. It just gets bigger. He has a voice to fight it. Yes, he does.

He has a platform. He has everything. And a rabid following to follow up. So that is the truth. That is the truth, though. If it turns out he is innocent, he is without a doubt bigger. And not only is he without a doubt bigger, he's now a target. He must be doing something crazy. He must be doing something wild.

He must be really riling up the elites. Yes, exactly. And he can lean into that 100%. And there seems to be enough wiggle room. The fact that none of these women came forward, the most damning one, obviously, is the girl who went and got the kit done. And she got a rape kit done.

And I would assume that there would be DNA from both parties on that. No? Yeah. She would still have to prove that it was not consensual. And this is going to be a he said, she said situation. This is probably why it's important that there are other women involved.

But at the same time, you don't know if there's enough evidence, especially this many years later, to prove that. It's a tricky one. Yeah. Even talk about this shit is tricky. You want to make jokes, but it's... Do you know what I mean? We're kind of the victims in this.

Yeah, we can't even get the jokes off, we want to say. We're being silenced. Why are they silencing us, dude? They're fucking silencing us, man. I've been trying to make a joke about grape juice for the last five minutes. It's because you're black?

Yeah, yeah. I was going to tie both together. It's like, damn. I was double-dutching. I wish you could zoom in all over our heads throughout this whole combo. He's going to Al's head. He's like, he's thinking about grape juice. Is that all they think about?

Fuck, man. Can we just lighten things up, dude? Yeah, can we? Yeah, dude. All right, let's go. Do you want to talk about a beautiful wedding? Yeah, talk about consensual relationships. Weddings are the fucking best. They're the best. They're the absolute best.

Everybody get married. Get married. If you can, if you have that opportunity to get married. Well, to the right person, you know. Even to the wrong person.

Don't, don't, no. The wedding is probably dope. Yeah. Because if it's to the wrong person, then it ends and you get to run it back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the wedding itself

is probably dope because you're probably filled up with so much love, joy, and excitement that you think they are the right person that day. You see what I'm saying? But like weddings are fucking so. So we went to Derek Poston and Sam Poston's wedding.

I love calling her Sam Poston now. Of course, she's Poston. Come on. And it was just awesome. And it was so much fun and miles's look being the most possibly distracting human being in the world while trying to not get in front of the the camera lenses which we really appreciate miles thank you very much um he crawled under a tripod yeah that's crazy that's crazy that was crazy anyway so um how many times do you think he cried, if you had to guess?

I cried two times. I would have guessed three. Two times. Over, under would have been at three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I cried at, oh, no. Three, you're right. Oh, it's going up. It's going up.

Oh, my God. I have a feeling we're going to find out about one more. No, no, no, no, no. Three, three, three, three, three. Three's solid. Your guess is four? My guess was six, at least. I mean, I lost it a couple times.

Like, I lost it. Derek's speech was so beautiful. Also, write your own vows. It's difficult and it will be annoying, but you will be so happy you did it. I cried at your vows, for sure. Respect. Thank you. I mean, they were amazing.

But yeah, I cried at Derek's, and then I cried at Ahsan's speech. Ahsan Ahmad. Ahsan is a comedian, best friend of Derek, and he had this beautiful speech. And what's up? No, I thought you were talking about Hasan. No, no, no. Hasan wrote an honest speech. Hasan's speech.

Yeah, Hasan definitely will tell people he was there. And it was his favorite read 100%. And it was just beautiful. It was just this great, you could tell he really loved his boy. He's choking up during it. And, so that's two. There's two.

And then, Sam's speech. One other time. No, Sam's ain't getting me, bro. I ain't gonna lie. Sam's ain't getting me.

I heard Sam's was great. Sam's was fantastic. It was great, dude. She, her opening line was like, it was like out of a fucking novel. Like, it was great dude she her opening line was like it was like out of a fucking novel like it was just beautiful but i think sam kind of like warmed me up and then derrick just fucking

haymaker yeah yeah yeah yeah it was going first is uh is tough opening the show yeah you're opening the show you got the bullet the bullet yeah but no it was beautiful her speech was beautiful and like they were both so happy there's a video i have of like derrick seeing sam for the first time walk down the stairs and uh he just goes full retard in the video like his tongue is sticking out he's going like this like he was just hungry gold retriever dude he was going through it he was crying he's wiping his eyes. I got to show you. It's just unbelievable. And he was just so happy.

He's crying the whole time. I was just going to weddings. What's the third time? What's the third time? Tell you guys after. Tell you guys after, man. You know what I mean? Okay, go, go, go.

What about you? It's just fun to go to weddings and watch you the whole time. Because you're the only one at the wedding in your mind. You know what I mean? It's just awesome. Like, they're doing the vows. Like, he's crying. And Charles is just fist bumping in the back.

Like, not even aware. He's just, like, so fired up. He's like, yes! Love is awesome. Love is awesome. You really get it after you get married. Weddings are always fun for me. But after you get married, you're like, like yo these are the best days of my friends lives

I hated that I had to miss this wedding I'm sorry Derek I'm sorry Sam but fuck I love weddings Indians love a meal dude if there's a free meal going on they will pull up

no we love weddings I will say this though when you come it's a step down from the Indian wedding usually in terms of like the food but the speed

the quickness the quickness of this wedding was mysterious oh no your shit is. Yeah. We be in and out. I mean, you're standing there,

you're having, you're hanging out, having a drink, crying within three minutes and then dancing within seven. It's awesome. Food in between. Yeah.

Let's get it going. Right. Not fucking running laps or whatever we did. Y'all didn't do nothing. Our shit is like, didn't we have to do laps? The Indian 500. That's what they call it. We do 100. Our shit is like up in laps. Didn't we have to do laps? The Indian 500.

That's what they call it. The Indian 500. The Indian 500. The Indian 500. But yeah, y'all didn't do laps. I do laps. That's right. No, you guys did laps.

Yeah, yeah. At the Gurdwara. Gurdwara, yeah, yeah. And you won, though. I want the record to show. No, the man leads. Come on. If you look at the photo finish.

We're brown. Yeah. She was getting close, and then right at the end, you went like that. That was awesome. I like that. That was just so dope. Now, you had an interesting observation when we were talking, and you were reflecting on this wedding versus yours, if you feel comfortable sharing.

Yeah, of course. My wedding was just very structured. It's a Catholic wedding. There was one black person at this wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, you were right. No, no, there was a few. All of Derek's family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least. Actually, you were right. No, no, there was a few. There was a few. All of Derek's family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Half Derek's family.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've recently gotten more black friends, so I would have invited them, had I not. But I got married before, you know what I mean? Buzzer, buzzer beater. Anyway. But Catholic wedding is very structured, very regimented. You don't really do your own vows. It's just kind of like ascribed to you, and then you just kind of have to say what is given.

And looking back, I'm like, man, it would have been fun yeah to do some time yeah i mean just like it's you know the the time is good you know get to work out some bits and it would have been good to actually be vulnerable i feel like watching your boys be gay is awesome yeah it's a great it's a great thing watching your boys just cry in front of everyone is just the best feeling profess their love yeah the person that you already know they love so much. And then hearing that person that you might not be as close to talk about how amazing your boy is and how in love with your boy she is. Because obviously we're closer to Derek than we are Sam. We love Sam, but we don't go on the road every weekend with her.

So hearing how much she loves our boy, we're like, oh, hell yeah, you got the one. You got a great one. This is going gonna be awesome yeah but yeah it's one of those things that i think that definitely derrick's wedding my wedding which is probably weren't as traditional in terms of like the religiosity with it because that was in some ways removed but at the same time derrick's mom blessed the wedding she had this beautiful speech and like i get i guess it it was more about our love and less about like, I think sometimes parents get involved.

I've been in certain weddings where it's just like, this is a wedding for the parents. Yeah. And like, or for God or whatever it is. And I think sometimes that can subtract from those moments between the people who love each other. Yeah. Sometimes that can subtract from those moments between the people who love each other. And the reason why I'm at weddings now is I need to see that raw, unfiltered love. I need to see two people go at it because they know this is the time. Yeah.

You get to say how you feel about that person in front of other people, and you better come correct. That's the speech molly. That's what you want, bro. You want the verbal molly, bro. Yes, bro. Oh, it was beautiful. It was beautiful. want, bro. You want the verbal molly, bro. Yes, bro. Oh, beautiful. It was beautiful. I love it. Yeah. I love it.

I get wedding crashers now. I never understood the concept. That's not why they're crashing. They're not? No, they're just trying to hook up with women. I think this movie is called Crasher. Do the vows again. Bro, do the vows again. I need to see more vows, dude. I need to see people renew their vows again Bro Do the vows again I need to see more vows

Dude I need to see people Renew their vows Yeah I like that That's what I'm gonna do Renew your vows Yeah I think every five years

Exactly Cause that's what we really want Is the vows Yeah you know what If you celebrate I don't know if y'all Anniversary like party Where your friends and family

Get together You should have to do A speech there Yeah yeah That's what I wanna do If everybody's gathering around To celebrate your love You gotta tell each other

How you feel for real Yeah I think it's a good reminder. I think it's good to show your kids. Your kids get to go and be like, oh, wow, our parents really love each other. This is so cool. And then you get to invite all your new friends that you've made over the years all to this thing. Yeah. And then the other benefit for me is that it doesn't have to be necessarily as religious.

So, like, there's no, like, pressure to do it in a church. I could just go to, like, an awesome venue, get a boat somewhere right around, and then do vows and then party. It's a sick birthday party. Yeah, really? Yeah. It's a birthday for your new life. And that's awesome. You guys are one. Yeah. You guys have birthdays. Oh yeah. This is, yeah. You're, you start, you're at zero when you get married. That's your new life. You're age zero. And then every year is the restart of the honeymoon period. Yeah. Because you're reflecting on how much you love that person, how much they love you, and now you just want to pour into each other again. A billion-dollar business we just thought of. Exactly.

That's what I'm saying. And then on top of that, as your net worth grows, you can also do better and better parties. My wedding was very small and kind of cheap. I had no money. You're not factoring in kids. Probably going to get shittier and shittier, actually. But maybe more fun because then you've got the kids in the mix. There's 30 anniversaries at a Chuck E. Cheese.

It's going to be fun. Maybe the most fun, actually. All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick because we got to talk. Look, if you are ever, God forbid, wrongfully injured in a car accident, it sucks. You got medical bills, you got doctor's visits, and you have to deal with insurance companies. On top of everything else, which is hard, there is one thing you can do that is easy, and that is checking out Morgan & Morgan. Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide

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First shipment is free. All you got to do is pay $5 for shipping and handling. That's it. Promo code flagrant, blue true.com promo code flagrant. First shipment is free. Now let's get back to the show. Yesterday we had a little, um, friendly competition. Obviously, you know, we are New York city's pre meal, pre meal, pre meals, the new ad guy. Unbelievable. Obviously, you know, we are New York City's pre-meal, pre-meal. Pre-meal is the new ad gallery, brother. Unbelievable. Obviously, we are New York City's premier paddle ambassadors. Padel,

if you will. Though I think we might switch it back to paddle. We'll have a conversation with that. So we went and played Padel. It was Mark Dove. We should probably get Dove in for this conversation. just text him so he can come in and alex media we go um i almost didn't get to go my boy why i didn't really ask the wife you know it was it was a date with the wife yeah and i was like great group text oh yeah

yeah should we go through the group text the group text is kind of funny in real time this guy permission that's that's something I wasn't ready for. Permission. Hey, are we doing anything? I was going to go hang out with my friends unless I was doing something less fun with you. Just let me know. So overzealous. Okay, so here's the way I looked at it, right?

I need a workout. I've been eating bread all weekend, right? I need to get a workout in. So I figured we might as well do Padel because it's a way more entertaining workout. It's way more fun than going down to the gym and fucking jogging or something like that. So my wife, she knows I'm going to work out.

So I'll be like, instead of going to the gym, I'm just going to go play Padel. What's the difference? You're gone for an hour. You're gone for an hour. I'm gone for an hour plus another hour when I'm with you. Also commute time, 30 minutes back and forth. Three times as long. In my mind, there's no time difference whatsoever.

Fitness is fitness, right? Fitness dick in your mouth, come on. I didn't say who or what. You didn't catch me. I would have put that in my vows if I could run it back. You have to catch your... Bro, I almost got caught big time, bro. I almost got caught on Instagram. This dude,

this dude got me. It was so close. I mean, I'm talking about buzzer beater. I have to get it up and then we're going to get back to this Bedell story real quick. But this was at the buzzer, I saved myself. My man hits me up. He goes, yo, man, I've been listening to these lectures by a professor named Howard Dietz for a few years now. And last week in his live stream, he mentioned you as a pioneer in New York's third golden age of comedy. Now, it tapped into my ego. I was like, finally, these professors finally are teaching some real shit. You know what I mean?

These professors are finally pointing out greatness. Third golden age, of course. You know what I mean? These professors are finally pointing out greatness. Third golden age, of course. And then I was like, hold on one second. Let me just make sure that this person's real. So I Googled Howard Dietz, right?

There ain't no Howard Dietz. There's a Michael Dietz. And my ego is still leading me astray. And I was like, well, maybe it's Michael Howard Dietz or something like that. I'm all in at this point. I'm all in. I go to YouTube to try to see if I can find a professor. No professor. And I go, Howard

Dietz, nuts in your mouth. Holy shit, this guy was good. And I said, I hit him back. I was masking. I was masking. I was like, ha, ha, ha. Thought you could catch the king. He goes, I thought I had it in the back. I go, I ain't gonna lie. If you Google it, that's a half guess. I think it's a half guess. But I didn't get him with the back. I go, I ain't gonna lie. Who's got that? If you Google it, that's a half get.

I think it's a half get. But I didn't get him with the hoop. I didn't get him with the hoop, but for real, that was solid. That was very solid. Okay, Padel. I've got a call then, so I think I know how this went. Okay. Oh, now, how'd it go?

How'd it go? I mean, it's not a competition. We're just playing for fun, really, when you think about it. We were at Paddle House in Dumbo. Fantastic facility. Fantastic facility with very bouncy, flexi-glass walls, I will say. They're opening one up in Hudson Yards. There's one in Hudson Yards.

Yeah, which is very far. I will never go there to play Padel. Getting him to Brooklyn was already crazy. Oh, bro, the traffic. It's the San Gennaro Festival. The traffic on Canal is brutal. Also, the Brooklyn people. I just fucking, it's the worst, bro.

It's the worst. Not natives. If you're a Brooklyn transplant, you suck. That seems... You're kind of talking about my... Okay, so let's just... If you're a Brooklyn transplant from some state like Florida, if you're from some fucking state like Florida and Brooklyn, get fucked.

Hyper specific. Now, here's the thing. What happened? Why don't you guys just say what happened? What happened? I'll be honest. I had a bad day. Bro, Mark was in the spin cycle

on a big old cycle. I had a bad day. It was unbelievable. Have you never experienced Mark in this state? Yesterday was bad. Mark, we played over the weekend. Mark is a fucking superhero. Okay? We played when we were out in this state. Yesterday was bad. Mark, we played over the weekend. Mark is a fucking superhero. Okay?

We played when we were out in Long Island. Okay? I've been playing a lot. That's not fair. You've been taking lessons. No, in tennis, a real sport. It's the same thing. No, it's not.

It's clearly not. You have to hit this. You have to hit the ball so different. Alex, don't do this real sport thing. We are doing that. Until I get good, and then it's real. Alex is pretty horrible. No, better than Mark. He's not even close.

It's not even close. I'm my worst day. I won more games than you yesterday. Yeah, but I carried you. I had to put you on my back. You're my little baby bird. I won with Dove and I won with you. Yes, I did. I beat you. No, you didn't.

Dove, did we not beat them? We beat you the first time. Yeah, come on, son. Okay. He wanted to then run it back. And I'm a beginner. Okay, because I knew Mark was in his head. I was having a bad game.

First of all, who won the most? Let's just acknowledge. Andrew won the most. Thank you. So that's just baseline before y'all talk shit. Second of all, you try to do all this tennis stuff out there. It's really adorable. Like when he swings, he goes like this.

It's really funny. Like on his forehand, you can tell he've been taking lessons when he swings he goes he goes Yeah Exaggerated the ping-pong paddle, bro. Just tap that shit But that's how I was taught so anyway, it's fucking motor memory anyway But that's how I was taught. It's fucking motor memory. Anyway.

Muscle memory. I caught myself. Anyway, so we play a few games. Do you appreciate the game more now? Yeah. No, the game is fun. It's really fun. It is very different in tennis, obviously.

Yes. It's a fun game. Tennis is more. But now do you realize that it is more sport than it is game? Yeah. Tennis is full-on sport, 100 100 but it's way more sport than pickleball pickleball is game yes especially for him it's a contact sport he almost smashed the he was playing hockey it was i mean i go hard his face print is still on the side of the place

if you look at it you can see his face just pressed into the side can we talk about this emotional um or i don't even know if it's more of a psychological wormhole that you were in. What was going on? I have no idea. What was happening in your head? Disconnected from mind and body. That's really what it is. Disassociation, full on. And then you started playing prevent. Yeah. You were trying to

prevent the fuck up. So he was just trying to get it over. And then when you fuck up doing that, then you're out. You get very in your head. I get that. This used to happen to me when I would play soccer when I was younger. Interesting.

I would have an amazing game and then just random, I'd wake up and I just wouldn't, I wasn't there. And were you worried about what we would think of you? Like, where was the insecurity

coming from? Everything. Maybe coming to the podcast and we'd talk about how bad he was. No, because he murdered it. There was literally, the weekend when we were in Long Island, he was murdering it.

You actually helped. I was there. It is weird the moments he chooses to be sympathetic, isn't it? No, this is nice. He's really being nice right now. Because he needs teammates when he plays, and then he targets all the other people besides me. I hate you with a passion. You didn't target me once.

With a passion, I hate him. You don't target me once. With a passion, I hate him. Come on. What do you mean? Also, also, we're going to get back to this. But Dove is a total pussy. He's clearly the person who's played the most.

Alex and him are playing on the same team. And it's like match point or something like that. And in match point, the defending team gets to decide who gets the serve. And Dove was going to let Alex get the serve. Fucking lie. Tell him that's a lie right now. And blow it for his team. That's not true. And blow it for his team. That's not true, right? He was going to let Alex get the serve. Fucking lie. Tell him that's a lie right now. And blow it for his team. That's not true.

And blow it for his team. He was going to let Alex lose the match. That's all he has. He was going to let Alex lose the match. That's a lie. I'm signing right now. What are you doing? Thank you, Alex.

Fucking victimization bullshit. Get out of here. But you're the victim here, Alex. I am. You're the victim. I'm the beginner. I'm busting ass. Okay, Dove. Dove. Okay, so we go through this. So you're the victim here, Alan. I am. You're the victim. I'm the beginner. I'm busting ass. Okay, Dov, Dov.

Okay, so we go through this. So you're in your head. This happened a little bit. You're saying, I got you out of it. How did I get you out of it? No, you helped. Because you said, because you acknowledged that it was happening. Oh, yeah.

Because my thought is like, oh, I don't want to ruin it for everyone. I'm ruining it for you. I'm ruining it for my teammate. And my failure is affecting everyone, and that's awful. He's Coach Prime out there. But he helped. He looked at me and goes, oh, just keep on thinking about it for you. I'm ruining it for my teammate. And my failure is affecting everyone, and that's awful. He's coach prime out there. But he helped. He looked at me and goes, oh, just keep on thinking about it. Yeah, if you want to keep on thinking about it, you can ruin the whole game.

Just keep thinking about it. And I was like, oh, he knows I'm not doing good. That means now I have permission to do good. And then I hit the ball against the wall. I faulted, essentially, or what is it called? Lost a point. I don't know what the terminology. But it was right against the wall.

And I pretended like I was doing that to support him. But I wasn't. I wasn't doing that to support him at all. He was just fucking rubbing off on me. Yeah, the bad vibes. Maybe it's a weird thing. But I feel like I got out of it towards the end. Yeah, you did.

And we won, obviously. But rough, though. But it was rough. I'm not going to lie. When Alex and I played together, it was dominant. It was dominant. No, we can run that back. I was playing with a broken mark.

Yeah, we can run that back. I had PTSD. I had shell shock. I think Alex and I had good teamwork. That's what I would chalk it up to. I think we had good teamwork. And you guys were both trying to jockey for who was going to score the most points. When you and Alex, Alex and I had no teamwork. That's what I would chalk it up to. I think we had good teamwork. And you guys were both trying to jockey for who was going to score the most points. When you and Alex, Alex and I had no ego.

It's no ego. Because you played up against the net, and then Alex disappeared. And so when he wasn't there, that's when you were. Are you really going to sit down? You're going to let that happen? Every person who played against you targets you because you're the worst on the court. Yesterday, I was the worst. You are the worst. Yesterday, I was the worst on the court like you are the worst yesterday

andrew will come to your side and then dove hit me with the ball once really close proximity slammed it right in my chest yeah and then apologized immediately after like a little now you do that he did it on purpose and he's like oh sorry sorry no no that's part of the now you do it and you just give him one of these that That's tennis. You just hit the motherfucker. That's it. That's all you do. I don't wave my hand up like that. It's like a very phony, like... You also could have just blocked it.

Yeah, I could have. Damn. How many more bad days does Mark get until I'm back in the group chat for this? Yo, that's true. Dove kept you out of the group chat. I was like, we should ask Miles, and then Dove goes,

I have a friend. How fucked up is that? That's a lie. Damn. your name did not come up god damn yes it did i said alex i said alex said miles he's blacker no we said alex and miles nope and then you probably said out no he said i wanted you to be honest he's been he's been he's been out. He's doing it again. He's doing it again. Am I a son of it? You're a son of it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Honestly? Yeah. It's a little Palmer, dude. It's fine. Dude, am I a son of it right now? You're making a mixed drink. Don't worry about it. Dude, a son of Palmer.

Listen, listen. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. So the question is now, do we create teams and have like a real tournament? And then film it. Exactly. And is Akash willing to play? Can I have Akash? Oh.

Okay, that's fine. I haven't ever played, so we'll probably be the worst. But you have played the most tennis. You're the best at tennis. But dude, that was high school. I barely played in the last 10, 15 years. We got it. They're going to count us out so much.

This would be so fun if we won. Let's do it. I just signed Jameel up for open play, or for the clinic. He's going to join. When is the tournament? Well, I don't know. We have to figure it out,

but we ought to get a little more playing down. Yeah. Yo, NYC Padel, man. The ambassadors. We're the ambassadors of NYC Padel. Akash and Miles might take the whole thing, dude. That'd be so fun. You guys are the Arnold Palmer of Padel.

You look at you guys together, you're like palmer you look you guys together you're like yo mix these guys up that's what you need yeah no we're gonna run it back let's play we'll film this yeah i had to stop playing tennis because an fbi informant really just ruined my career dude no yeah is that true i was a terrorist or the whole thing yeah and then you had to stop playing yeah i had to stop playing man just really i'm a victim too jesus such a victim must be difficult you know who's not a victim? Deion Sanders. Never sees himself like that.

He's a victor. I love it. What a legend. What a fucking legend. Dude, thank you for that compliment, dude. Saying I'm Coach Prime out there. I appreciate that. He was bigging me up.

I was like, oh, shit, I'm good at this shit. Well, you were balling. Yeah. We aced them. Yeah. It was 4-0. I mean, no, we can run that back. I'm telling you. It was 4-0.

4-0. Get me on a good day. We were playing best of four games. 4-0, though. But then I played with Dove, and It was 4-0. We can run that back. I'm telling you. It was 4-0. Get me on a good day. We're playing best of four games. 4-0. But then I played with Dove and then we 4-0'd you. No, not even 4-0's. We did. The first game we 4-0'd and that's why you're like, nah, fuck that, run it back, same teams. And you stopped doing the whole rotation.

You lost four straight games? Yeah, you did. It was 4-1. No, it wasn't. No, we won one. We won one. We did one. I don't think it was four.

No, it was threes. I think it was 3-3 and then they won 4-3. That's the second game. Second game. I don't think it was. No, it was threes. I think it was three, three, and then they won four, three. That's a second game. Second game. I don't know what's happening. It went like that. All right. Anyway.

We'll run it back. I know in tennis, if you beat someone, not like they have zero games on, you call it bageling them. Yeah, we bageled them. You bageled them. Yeah, we bageled them. Anyway, the point is, Deion Sanders is one of these human beings that has existed in history that has an unbelievable gravitational

force whenever he does anything. Yes. Now, obviously, he did it with immense skill when he was playing sports, right? He was a showstopper. You had to watch him. He was so exciting. I mean, the guy was so exciting that you would watch him play defense. That's really rare.

Yeah. Think about that. And watch him play defense in a position when the better you are the less you're targeted yes that's crazy the entire time at the cowboys he never i used to be mad because i was young he would never get interceptions and then you got older and you're like oh they just didn't throw it yeah there's a um and i still cared yeah yeah yeah i think we're watching him not play yeah that's how interesting but it just goes to show he is just one of those individuals that is born in history that has a gravitational force around him, and you just can't keep your eyes off.

He is a star. He is the it factor. All those things you speak about with Hollywood superstars, whatever it is, that is Deion Sanders. And when you match that confidence and bravado with success- Yeah. We're all in. Storm.

You're talking about Conorcgregor when he's just blasting through everybody in a lightweight now it's early and they played colorado state who they should have they were i think the spread was 23 they've been about 20 and they only won by seven with a comeback in overtime i think but like and they lost one of their key guys yeah that was it was a cheap shot against travis hunter who's along with deon's son shadur is probably the second best player on the team. It was a cheap shot. And he's a two-way player.

And he plays both sides. So I do think that affected the way the game turned out. But, yeah, this guy is fucking unbelievable. I just hope he keeps it going. And it would be awesome to see him keep it going. Right now we have no reason to think that he won't. But outside of football, he's just this amazing human being. Anytime he talks, you want to listen.

Anytime he's on TV, you want to watch. You want to see him react to things. Everything that he does is interesting in the best way. He's like the positive version of a 24-hour Twitch streamer. It's not car crash, car crash, car crash. It's motivation, motivation, motivation. Success, success, success. It is possible to do it.

You just need to be that much more talented to do it with positivity and success. He's a less divisive Trump. You know how Trump really divides everyone? Prime divides you a little bit, but for the most part, we're all in the middle. Most people are all in it. Bro, getting his mom there, did you see that?

No. He goes, because he did this, I don't know if it was post or pre, but he does a thing about it. They talked about me. You can talk, the three things you can't talk about. You can't talk about me. You can't talk about you guys. You can't talk about my mama.

And he had his mom there with him in the locker room. And his mom talks. I just told him to be yourself. And sometimes you need to kick ass. So get out there and kick ass. And you're just like, oh, I'll run through a fucking wall for this guy. And this is what's also brilliant is he's always here. As a college coach, you are always recruiting.

Next year's class, you got to recruit. Everybody right now wants to go to Colorado. So here's the thing. This is the Elon Musk marketing version of recruiting. If Elon is the ambassador, the mascot for Tesla, he doesn't need to put an ad in the Super Bowl. He doesn't need to put an ad on the NBA games. He doesn't need to spend all this money on marketing. He's the marketing. He is the mascot CEO. Prime is getting so much attention on his team. If you're an NFL prospect,

you definitely want the eyeballs because you're going to get the eyeballs. I haven't watched a college football game ever. In its entirety? Ever, probably. I've watched pieces of it. When you grow up in New York, football's not popular one, and college sports are not popular. That's just so crazy. I know.

I've watched pieces, but like a full start to finish, maybe one of the what is it, the national championship game or something like that because I was at a party. But like full, no. I'm invested in Colorado all of a sudden. Yeah. I'm invested. And that is a function of him.

So if I'm a young athlete, one, I want to play for greatness. If you're telling me I'm a young defensive specialist, you're saying I'm a young corner coming out of high school. You're telling me that I'm going to any other school besides deon sanders yes there's it's no i can learn from the greatest to do it and on top of that now you see what his son is doing at quarterback and you're like bro if i'm a quarterback he clearly knows how to coach quarterbacks look what he did with his son so this is what you were saying about like you don't have to advertise and recruit as much as like nick saban for alabama who's been

maybe the probably the greatest college coach ever probably uh he doesn't really have to get out there and recruit as much as he did because you know because the program recruits dion did that without a championship he's three games in to being at a good like a like a big name college and three games in recruits are watching him bring his mom out next year's recruits for a speech and being like i like that guy i don't guy. I want to play for that guy. Now, here's the question. Warren Sapp's already on the coaching staff. How many other either NFL coaches or ex-NFL players decide, you know what?

I don't want to deal with these pain in the ass professional athletes making way more than me telling me to go fuck myself, telling me I can't tell them what to do, et cetera. I would rather take slightly less money. I mean, if you got a real name, maybe it's, and again, I don't know the pay differential when it comes to assistant coaches, but take less money for way less headache, way more fun, and way more excitement for the players. And please believe, I'm assuming Colorado, if they continue to have this type of success, is not only gonna generate more revenue for the program, but might get more TV revenue if you're getting more marquee games, right? Yeah. Is that how it works? Yeah, so I think you have a contract and then there's probably bonuses built in.

But when your contract is up, you can renew. So he's going to make Colorado so much money if he stays there for them. And then you can afford to, you know, grow the program. Yeah. And what if you get some of these guys? Yeah, dude, fuck. And if you're like Chad Ochocinco, I don't know if he has any interest in coaching, but he's so charismatic. Recruiting?

Not even a fucking question. Are you going to go to me or Jimbo Fisher at A&M? But also think about that, like playing for your heroes. Oh, yeah. In college. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. The only thing I'm a little bit worried is that, so Dion does a great job in terms of balancing confidence and motivation.

But the players I'm starting to see are kind of just like a whole lot of confidence. And if that team with all the eyes on it, I think they might turn heel where people are going to be like, yo, this is too confident. You're talking too much. And now they're just going to want to see them lose.

You know what I think will happen is Conor was a face as long as he was winning. Everybody was rocking for him. You want to continue to watch Conor when he was knocking people out in tremendous fashion. It was justified. It was justified. The arrogance was justified. The confidence was justified. And we'd like to follow that leader in that regard, like as human beings.

But the second the arrogant, confident person loses, we love to pile on. So I think that what you're describing might happen with casuals after a loss. But if they continue to win the way that they're winning, and yeah, granted it was a close game against a team that they should have maybe blown out, but if they continue, I don't see any reason why people will resent them. To Mayweather.

But here's the thing with Mayweather. Mayweather kept winning and then it got to a point where people just wanted to see him lose. But Mayweather won in a way that people didn't want to see. When Mike Tyson was just knocking people out, we loved it. Loved it.

So you got to knock them out. It can't be win off of... You can't keep doing this. You're favored by 23, you skate by, you eek by. But like what they did at TCU, I think it was also a close game, but they were good and you beat them and nobody saw that coming.

We're going to love it. This weekend. This weekend. You know where it is? Talk to us. Oregon. At Oregon. Big one.

At Oregon, which if anyone knows that, that's the loudest stadium. And it's a smaller one. That is. Next week's harder after that. USC. USC. Ranked number five. They have the Heisman.

They got the best quarterback. Yeah. They've got a bunch of doer maybe. Caleb Williams. So that's when you need the Travis Hunter kickback. And you need Heisman. They got the best quarterback. Yeah. They've got to touch the door, maybe. Caleb Williams. So that's when you need the Travis Hunter kid back. And you need him playing on both sides of the board. He's out for weeks, I think. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's go. This is what teams are built to do. Yeah. All right. Let's do some picks.

Let's do some prize picks. Your boy kind of got smoked last weekend. I ain't going to lie. I thought I'd be nice, but I got kind of smoked. So we need to go with the Akash locks right now, okay? Prize picks. Make sure y'all go do it. Dance with us. Time to dance, Akash.

Okay, Ben. Chargers and Vikings are playing next week. They say Justin Herbert is gonna have 295.5 passing yards, more or less. I think he's gonna have less. Done. Next one. Yeah, I think Dak Prescott, they got 227.5 passing yards against the Cardinals. I think the Cardinals are really bad.

I think Dak will have more than that. Done. And then Miles Sanders, the running back for the Carolina Panthers, they say 12.5 receiving yards. I think that's easy enough to beat. I think that's just something you've got to go with. So I'm going to bet $20 to win 100. Wow. 5X.

Okay, so those are the Akash locks. Honestly, never has gone wrong, ever. No. I'm undefeated. Bitcoin, too. Allegedly. Always. Yeah, whatever he bets on, it usually works out.

100%. Remember your wedding gift. Exactly, yes. Make sure you make your bets. Prize picks, okay? Go get it. PrizePicks.com. Use the promo code SHULZ, S-C-H-U-L-Z.

They're going to match 100% of that initial deposit bonus up to $100. You put $100, they give you $100, and then you get busy right over there with the Akash locks or whatever locks that you want to put in. Now, let's get back to the show, boys. We have to talk about very important cultural phenomenons right now. And Halle Berry is absolutely furious that Drake used her picture of her getting slimed for the cover of his song. I believe it's a single.

It's not for the album. Also, side notes, phenomenal rollout to this album. He has held the conversation about the album coming out for how long? A month? A month and a half? At least A month, a month and a half.

At least a month or a month and a half. He's just controlled the conversation. And I'm like, as long as you can milk it, you milk it because you can always drop the album and then all those people that were excited are gonna go listen. They're gonna listen once the album drops. We know that for a fact.

So it's how long can you get people listening or talking about it, helping you promote it, speaking it to their friends without you actually dropping. A month and a half is fantastic. And also having the IQ or the EQ to know what the energy

is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are people talking about it? Okay, let's drop something. Oh, it's good? Let's coast for a little bit. And then when the album eventually drops, it'll be the right time. But not being so locked into an exact date that you lose out on the right time. Does it have to be the peak of the people talking about it? I don't think it does.

No, they calculate a few things like who else is dropping that weekend. If all the clearance is for the samples. There's still work being done. Yeah, that usually pushes things back a lot. Got it. Yeah, because he said somewhere, he's like,

I could either stop doing some shows and finish this album, or we could push the album back. And I don't want to cancel the shows. And who's going to want you to cancel the shows? Exactly, yeah. Yeah, it's just really, this is a really interesting rollout. To control the conversation for a month and a half. Yeah.

Bro, it's hard to hold energy for a week. He's Drake, bro. He's Drake. Really, really well done. Okay, but what we're really talking about this is Halle Berry thing. Is she really mad? Is she fake mad? Should she be mad?

Didn't he ask her and she said no? No, she's saying he never asked her permission. Oh, okay. That's different. Yeah, I'm like- He should be mad. Say it. She should be mad.

But does she own the picture? That's the thing. I don't even know if it's up to her to get the permission. Unless he smashed. It kind of makes me feel like he smashed. Because otherwise, why would he call her? Does he have your number? Are you guys talking?

Is there a personal connection? He's Drake. He can get in contact with anyone if he needs to. I'm saying, I don't think Halle's at the level where he would talk to her like that. I mean, she's a legend. She's Halle. She's a legend, but that's more like...

You know what I mean? That's Halle. She still looks great. She's stunningly beautiful. That's the icon. That's the icon that's the icon maybe getting slimed up slimed out that pig is kind of fired i mean it is crazy from the back too no that was a mexican alien come right there

that's why she's upset taste a little spicy but yeah we gotta talk about that mexican aliens but but yeah so what's the thing? I mean, this is just great for him. More controversy. More people talking about it. More things. Of course he's not going to ask you. And if it's called For All the Dogs, he's being a dog. Also, her criticism was not that bad. It was like, man, for someone I respect,

I wish you asked. But also, if she says anything, it's news. TMZ's picking it up. It's more marketing. It's almost like, Hallie, he can't ask. He can't ask. Because by not asking, you'll talk about it and then create news. If he puts it out and you, yeah, he asked me. He was so sweet and polite and kind.

And he offered me royalties. And he's just the best person. No news story at all. No, no, no. I think, didn't Kanye kind of do that with the famous, the music video? With it had all the people in it. Everyone in the band. Taylor's in it.

Trump is in it. Yeah. And like, if you're in the video, it's like, what's your comment? What do you have to say about you being in this very famous video? And everyone commented. Either they comment or they don't comment. And then, oh, what does the not comment mean? What's going on?

It's just like, you're just pulling people into your orbit. And Drake did this with the 21 album rollout when he did the fake Vogue cover. And then Vogue was really upset about that. And then they sued him. And so that was a whole big story around the album. That's fantastic. You're just big enough now that

pulling people into his orbit is a lot easier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something to think about, man. The rollout is really impressive. It's amazing. It's really is really impressive. It's amazing. It's just really, really impressive. And I wonder if other artists try to create something similar. Also, it helps that he's already touring.

This is another thing that I thought was interesting. I figured you drop the album a few months before you go tour, and then you tour that album plus your old stuff. But he starts the tour and teases the album during the tour. Now you're teasing the album during peak conversation about you already because you're touring. So you're not even worried about touring this album just yet. And I wonder if that's because you'll never tour an album again. When people go see a Drake show, they need to see this. They need to see all the things. You ain't gonna just tour your little album. You gonna play the hits. So if he's going, maybe he's going, well,

if I gotta play the hits no matter what, it don't matter when I drop. Yeah, and if there's bangers on this one, they want to see it on the next tour. And if there ain't, people are less inclined to buy tickets for the tour because they're like, oh, I didn't like this album. Is he touring this album? I didn't even know musicians just toured albums like that. I thought they were always playing hits because there's so much replay value for fans. What they usually would do back in the day would do is tour the majority of the new album plus a couple bangers but it would be the okay yeah now i think it's flopped like flip-flop so it's like now it's majority of that catalog a couple from the new and but i think is that for drake or everyone

everyone pretty much like for like for example beyonce is doing the old uh songs that are the super smash hits but she is doing the majority of this new album. And that was Taylor from Brilliant Idiots. She was bothered by that. She's like, I kind of wanted more of the hits. I didn't want all of this album because you might not fall in love with this album just yet. Yeah. It takes time to

fall in love with an album a lot of times. And it might just not be your best album. So what protects the tour is knowing that they're going to go see the whole show. It's just a Drake show. You're coming to see Drake. And forever it will be Drake. And I think it would be a mistake if you drop an album while on tour because the tour

set track, everything is planned out. And to change something this late in the game and what happens if one song super slaps? Oh, wow. So what you're saying, which I think is genius, what you're saying, which I think is genius, what you're saying is that he was never gonna put the album out in the first place. He's correct. 100%.

I think so. And that makes perfect sense. Of course, why would you put the album out? If it succeeds, it throws off your track list. If it fails, now people are talking about the album that isn't that good and that could tarnish the excitement of the tour. Use the excitement of the tour to build the hype for the album that you drop the second after the tour is done. Yeah. I think the album drops during the tour. I do. I think that he kind of confirmed that it can't.

Yeah. He said he'll have to miss some dates or finish the tour and then the album. So he basically just told you that was not good. Now, here's the question. Does he, because I think right now he's only toured America and North America. I believe so. Yeah, I don't think he did international. So he's gonna do that.

Yeah, that's true. Might not. He might not. Not everybody tours internationally every single album. It seems crazy to pass up that money. Yeah, it just feels like there's just so much money to be made from it. I mean, or he could remix it a little bit once the new album drops. Or.

Then now add some of the new songs. Yes, exactly. Just to give it, you know. And then now he almost created a reason songs just to give it you know and then now he almost created a reason for people to go see him internationally yeah like american fans even be like yo i'm flying to blah blah blah to go check him because he's gonna he has you know songs from the new album and i bet you on the new album he'll probably have a few uh uk european african artists so now when he does the international tour,

now they're all popping into those shows and creating more excitement. So that's why you have this shit with Central C that just dropped. That's buzzing right now. So when he goes to London and they do that on the radar shit, that shit is going to go off.

Yeah. Also, his dates only go up to October 7th. So yeah, he'll probably wait. Because right now he said that he's dropping when? October 6th? Or he might line it up with the OVO shit, which then that would be like crazy energy. That makes even more sense.

Like, OVO Fest is in October, right? So of course you're going to drop it around then, and then you do the big festival in Toronto, and then you play some of it at the festival. Like, all this that's what kevin was saying dropping in september actually seemed so crazy you have to drop in october oh yeah you have to that's by design that's genius yeah that's genius yeah now everybody's talking about it for months before it comes out by the time it finally comes out you're so fucking hyped yeah this is i bet you there'll be a lot of international orders on this album.

On this album? Yeah, the one coming out. Like Burn a Boy. Yeah, like Burn a Boy, Central City. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second because we need to get a little bit more efficient, okay? We need to get a little bit more automated, if you will. And especially if you're an e-commerce business owner, shipping is no longer a manual task thanks to ShipStation. Save time automating your shipping and returns in the ShipStation dashboard while keeping costs down with the industry-leading discounts. That's

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Korea. And what's SGP? Singapore. Now let's get back to the show. And we're back. Here's something I don't understand. This story is going out that America lost an F-35. Okay, so F-35 are these like crazy jets that America spent all this money developing.

Did Tom Cruise fly one in Maverick? No. Okay. I don't know it. But basically, they would have flown the F-35 in Maverick, but they have to fly with somebody else. So they had to use a two-person jet. Oh, so it's that? Okay, got it, got it.

I think the F-35 is a single seat. Okay. But the F-35 can, like, take off from a sitting position. Oh, that's fine. Like off the aircraft carrier? I believe, yeah. Aircraft. Yeah, so it's a fifth-generation fighter or whatever.

What does that mean? Yeah, I don't know. It's just, like, its parents' parents were born here? generation fighter or whatever. What does that mean? Yeah, I don't know. It's just parents were born here? What does that mean? There's four other generations of fighters before it. Okay. So what are we up to now? This is the fifth.

Yeah, maybe they've developed a sixth one, but right now I can't do this. They've had four before this, and then each they had a new one, a new one, a new one. This is the fifth new one. We could be wrong about this, but I think that's pretty self-explanatory. It's a fifth generation fighter. How many generations were there? Well, at least 12. You go negatives.

Yeah. No. So basically what happens, some people said that this plane was kind of like a dud. Like they spent all this money developing it, and it didn't exactly work out the way that they wanted. Now, that could also be propaganda from us. Yeah. Like maybe they wanna convince other countries, yeah, the F-35s, they spent all this money

and it was really a bomb and they don't really work that well, they're not that great fighters, so you have nothing to worry about, so you never know, right? But some people say it was kind of a dud. Now, somehow, a pilot was flying it, ejected, and then the plane is just continuing to fly. And for some reason, they've shared this information with us. But for some reason, the government is saying, hey, help us locate this aircraft if you can. What are you doing? What I don't understand is, one, how is there no GPS on it?

There has to be, because if there was another plane that was flying in our territory, we would know. If it was there, we'd be tracking it the whole fucking time, so it makes no sense. And two, it's embarrassing to acknowledge that you've lost your plane. Why would you even promote it? This story to me is so odd. It makes no sense. Do they have to tell the FAA? If there's a plane flying around in airspace?

Bro, they didn't have to tell them that they faked the fucking Gulf of Tonkin shit. We've been faking army stuff for all the fucking time. There's been false flags every fucking 10 years. So it's like, just don't tell anybody about it.

What if there's a plane flying around the airspace? Yeah, what if it hits another commercial plane? They have to tell the FAA, like, hey, just so you guys know, there's a plane flying around. Yeah.

Apparently it's a stealth fighter and that's why it's hard to find. I mean. Hey, at least you know the fifth generation is good. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. It just seems so odd.

Okay, maybe they tell the FAA and then the FAA just sends out a message to everybody you don't think Biden or somebody can call and just be like, yo. Wait, what? Biden can call the FAA and be like, yo, keep it quiet. Mark just checked out. I know he did.

I heard what he said. I was like, to keep a quiet? That was crazy. Mark's checked out. I know he did. I heard what he said. I was like, to keep a one? That was crazy. Mark's playing paddle racing. Okay, so yeah, I just don't get it. Like, why would this story be promoted? Just seems so weird. The U.S. don't care about its

own optics anymore, it feels. It's just like, whatever. It's almost like they're like, we don't gotta be perfect. Which I don't like. Yeah, I want us to care about our optics. Yeah, I don't like this. So at this time of recording, it's still flying. I haven't heard that they found it. Yeah, nothing.

But eventually it's going to run out of fuel. That's what I'm saying. So there's a version of this, and we're just kind of like, you know, hypothesizing right now. But there's a version where, like, maybe it has some sort of homing mechanism or homing beacon where it can return home in the way that a drone does. You know, when a drone is running low on battery, it just automatically autopilot takes it back. Maybe it has registered that there's been an ejection. And now it goes, okay, it's my job to go land myself. And so maybe it's going to land itself somewhere.

But if it is going to do that, just let it fucking land itself. Also, nobody's hiding an F-35. But if it is going to do that, just let it fucking land itself. Also, nobody's hiding an F-35. You know what I mean? If it lands on American soil, nobody's going to be like, yo, don't tell the government we got an F-35. You can't use an F-35. No, if you found an F-35, you would keep it. I would keep it, but I don't

know how to use it. But you'd use it for something. Also, you know why I wouldn't keep it? Because I would assume that they would that the government would have a GPS on this shit. So I'd be like, oh, they're going to come collect it immediately. There's no way I think I could sneak an F-35. Nah, just take the AirTag out.

You'd be good. It's really the AirTag. 100%. So yeah, I'm just like, it's just such an odd thing. Yeah, it's a little weird. Such an odd thing. They said for some unknown reason they uh the gps isn't working for some unknown reason the gps isn't working i think they have to tell people just in case this shit crashes into someplace here's my here's my guess another country hacked

our f-35 the pilot realized he didn't have control and he calls to the base the base goes we don't have control he's like fuck somebody else has hacked our shit. I'm ejecting, he manually ejects, right? Now the plane can go wherever country hijacked or alien hijacked it, right? We have to save face and say, because we don't wanna start an all out war because China hacked our shit. So we gotta go, hey, there's been a malfunction. We're looking for an F-35. If you see it, by the way, just let us know.

Or if you see one flying around erratically, just let you know. We've had some issues. Pilot tripped. He's no longer in the plane. Exactly. Fell out, but he's gonna be just okay. I think it might be one of those situations where in order to save face, we have to do this very embarrassing thing, but it is less embarrassing than admitting that Russia,

North Korea, China, India, whoever hijacked our plane. I feel like you threw the last one. Yeah, I did. Nah, brick, bro. Brick, dog. I did. I did.

Learn about it. What else we got, boys? Basically, Hunter Biden is, they're trying to wrap up with some gun charges. So dumb. Isn't it funny that Republicans suddenly won gun control? Isn't that funny? All of a sudden, oh, you can't just let anybody buy a gun. Can you explain what the problem is?

I don't know anything about this. So they said he lied about being addicted to cocaine and purchased a firearm and you're not supposed to admit to this thing, I guess. Everyone lies about being addicted to cocaine. That's not fair. Right? Have you ever asked someone that likes cocaine, like, yo, are you addicted? I bet 90% of people who own guns have done cocaine and actively do cocaine. Like, nobody's going to go, yeah, I'm doing cocaine or I do crack.

He was addicted to crack at the time. It is illegal, blah, blah, blah. But also, yeah, you don't have to say you're addicted. You just like it. I'm not addicted to Padel. But I do it like Hunter does crack, which is whenever he can. Yeah. So, yeah, honestly, it's a law that should be in place. But I do it like Hunter does crack, which is whenever he can. So yeah, honestly, it's a law that should be in place.

You should have laws that say, hey, if you're a drug addict, you shouldn't be able to buy a gun. But I have a hard time believing that drug addicts that want guns are going to be honest. Yeah, and I also have a hard time believing Republicans really give a fuck. That's a background check. You want a background check now? They just can't pin any of the Ukraine shit on them, which is what you really should get them for.

Yeah. They went through billions of dollars of guns and they're like, all right, well, we have one that I think we can get on them. This is like when you get the gang on racketeering. Yeah. Like you can't get them on the drugs or the murder. Yeah, you got Al Capone on tax evasion.

Yes, exactly. I think Joe Biden, to appear tough on crime, he should sacrifice his son and be like, yo, throw the book at him, lock him up. And then once he gets reelected, I'm pardoning you. It was a timeout, right? Yo, that's a winning move. He would win. He would 100% win.

Everybody would respect him. This guy's about it, dude. It is hard to vote for a guy, though, if his son is in prison. What do you mean? But if he put him there? It's clear that he should be in prison. Yeah, I think he definitely gets the minority vote.

How clear? I mean that in terms of like... What are you saying? I think minority parents are like, discipline the fuck out of your kids. Where white parenting is like, well, let's just not have grades in school and let's just be a little bit more open-minded.

Give crack to all the kids. No timeouts. Yeah, I love your bit where you said white parents are like, if you love flowers, be a flower. Yeah, just be a flower. Do whatever you want. So I think this is a little, yeah, I don't know. That might work. I mean, the Hunter thing is just, how is this not even bigger?

The president's son is a crackhead. How is that not the biggest story every single day of the week? I mean, they talk about it quite a bit. But it doesn't stick. Nobody cares. If Trump's son was a known crackhead, it would be non-fucking-stop. And I bet One American News or whatever, they're talking about this shit all the time, to be fair. But the thing that annoys I think a lot of Republicans and moderates is mainstream media, meaning the channels we go to for news on TV tends to lean liberal, it just does.

Do you know what else I think it is? I think that there are so many kids with drug problems that it's not novel, it's weirdly related. Maybe this is the most relatable thing about him. I think that it's indicative of a real problem in America, which is people are addicted to fucking drugs. So it's like, if it's not your kids, your friends' kids were,

your friends' kids went to rehab, or these types of things, it's so normalized that maybe they even have empathy. Because all these parents thought that they were good parents, and their kid got addicted to drugs. So it's like, oh, maybe Biden wasn't a a bad guy and this is so tragic that his son got involved in shit just like my nephew or just like my niece like there's no way all of us don't have within one degree of separation somebody who is addicted to drugs right like fuck man maybe that's it

maybe that's it like this the whole opioid crisis like all these things that are going down it's just the most relatable fucking thing yeah yeah and that's why i'm like i don't know if he should be in jail like when you said like he obviously should be in prison i was like i don't know if he should be in prison well i mean by letter of the law he probably breaks the law every time he buys crack cocaine yeah i'm like prison but prison for the ukraine shit yeah like that, of course. He's done a lot of shit. Yeah.

And also, like, it's not even him that should be in prison. It's like, it's really probably Joe and, like, the people around Joe who have bent the law so they could profit off of their positions of power. And they basically place him in there as this person who can collect money and bribes, etc. You can have influence on the government. That seems like a systemic thing. Yeah, exactly. It's not even his fault. And obviously he doesn't have a job or a passion because he's a drug addict. So yeah, we can

place him in there to collect all the money. I think to be fair, that's what they're trying to impeach Biden for. Yeah, they impeach him for that. I'm not slippery slope. not slippery slope for us, but for them, you all wanna start impeaching because of inappropriate money? We would love that, but y'all are all probably going down. It's like locking up rich people for not paying the same amount for tax evasion.

And it's just like, well, they created the tax code. They're not evading taxes. They just found a way where they don't really have to pay that much. Before the law is written, they figured it out. Yeah, and where they write the laws. And the same thing goes with the president. It's like, he's not the first president to profit off of it. I mean, when fucking Hillary Clinton was in the State Department, the Clinton Foundation

was getting these donations to the tune of like tens of millions of dollars. And the second she's out of the State Department, 90% of the funding washed up. Why do we think that is? Yeah. Right, we need some influence. And if you're another country, you should be paying for that influence. How do I get in the room with Barack? How do I get in? Oh, how do I get in the room with

the... Wait, who was she? She was under Barack, right? How do I get in the room with Barack? Oh, well, if I have some influence over that lady who was, you know, what is it? What is the name of the position? The Secretary of... No. Secretary of state.

So it's like real, real state planning. Real like what is America going to do in the world? Yeah, I'd like to have some of those over there. So I'll give her husband, her husband and their fucking foundation $50 million. That's why if you're going to impeach Biden for that, you should impeach everyone. Every president's ever existed. But that's why it's just a systemic thing. They're all doing it. Yeah, so I'm down to do this, but we better go after everyone. Every president has ever existed. But that's not, like, it's just a systemic thing. They're all doing it.

Yeah. So I'm down to do this, but we better go after everyone. Don't just make it Biden. Go after every one of these corrupt motherfuckers. But unfortunately, the popularity contest that is, you know, who's going to be the president of the United States of America, you know, it behooves the other side to make the other person not popular. Yeah, so they're not even doing this to win. They're just doing this

to make him not win the election. Yeah, so you're right. Systemic, and. They're just doing this to make him not win the election. Yeah, so you're right. Systemic, and it's a problem, and it's fucking annoying. And yeah, but how else do you choose somebody? If it's not a popularity contest, how else do you choose somebody? The issue with Biden or with Hunter is that all the shit he did is kind of awesome. Getting your dick sucked while pointing a gun at the camera. It's like the Trump thing where it's like, yeah, you don't really agree with what he said,

but the way he said it was so far. It feels like Hunter should be Trump's son, doesn't it? Yeah. That's the pair that we That's the pair. That should be the VP. That's the reality show America needs. If Trump runs with Hunter Biden as a VP, game over, bro. Game over, dude.

Yeah, that's what we're missing. Yeah, it's quite interesting. Trump's kids are so put together. Yeah. Like, his daughter, Ivanka, is like brilliant, beautiful, successful. You don't hear that much about him. You don't hear anything about any of them. It's the other daughter that might be like, not even like the black sheep. We're saying like, oh,

maybe she's more into partying or maybe she's not as successful as the other ones. But the kids have all done really well. And I don't know, say what you want. Say what you want. The kids turned out good. I don't know what to tell you.

Do you have control of those things? Maybe you don't. Maybe you just, luck of the draw. Maybe you just got lucky. Maybe great moms. I don't know. This is a real small place to take it,

but if you're doing a comedy show and the show is good, you're always like, the host gets credit. If it's bad, you're like, yeah, that's on the host. I feel that way about parenting a little bit.

Dude, I've never blamed the host. Yeah, I've never heard that before. I hosted a lot, so if the show was bad, I was like, that's on me. No, really? Yeah, I mean, I don't, it's, I'm not going to take it home and want to fucking,

I'm not like, oh, I got to eat that. That's got to be on me. I always acknowledge it was the most difficult spot. Yeah. But the whole show being bad because of the host no like by the time the headliner gets on they should forget that the host was ever on stage oh i'm thinking like 15 minute spots at close like a feature like a club show like we're all doing yeah you're headlining that's different then it's on you wow i never i never put that responsibility on them i've seen

hosts bomb and i've and i've been like oh, that's a tough spot. The crowd's not connected. They're not there. And it is a fucking hard thing. But I, so you're saying like, if the kids are successful, it goes for the parents. You gotta get credit. And the kids are not successful. You gotta eat that.

I don't know. One of Biden's kids was a war hero. I mean, that kid seems successful. That's a good counterpoint to my ill thought of point. Kids are just so different. You know know like we're all so different yeah what works for one kid might not work yeah like it's just and being able to transition that parenting ability i guess is part of it but like kids are just born and they have their own unique personalities and there's only so much you could do that's just so weird yeah Just like seeing little kids having personalities,

you're like, what the fuck? What is going on? And they might be nothing like their parents. They might be exactly like their parents. Thinking of things. Yeah. Interests.

Yeah. Yeah, it's really crazy. So yeah, that's where I'm like, I don't know how much you can blame it. People are trying to put it on Biden, like, yo, you can't even raise your kid.

I'm like, I don't know if that's super fair. Also, the dude's a drug addict. I'm like, yeah, that sucks. Yeah. I don't know, I feel bad for drug addicts, bro. Yeah. Also, the dude's a drug addict. I'm like, yeah, that sucks. Yeah. I don't know. I feel bad for drug addicts. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm sure he doesn't want his kid to be a drug addict. I think the assumption is always these people who desire power, that the only thing that they've ever cared about is that power. And because of that, they failed their family. And I think that's maybe where people go, oh, this is your fault, Joe Biden. If maybe you cared more about your family, this wouldn't have happened. But who fucking knows if that's true? I mean, Trump has clearly wanted power and success.

I mean, he has all these kids that are fucking incredibly successful. America's hypocritical that way, though. Because if you had no kids, they're like, yeah, you should have a family. And if you do have kids, they're like, yo, you should spend more time with your kids. It's like running the country is not like a nine to five i mean i can't like go home and play catch every day yeah yeah it is true we do want everything but then then would you make the argument that we should scrutinize the most powerful position in the world yeah we should we know we should put you through the rain it's like imagine what we do when we hire

uh you know a lawyer what you do when you hire, you know, a lawyer. What you do when you hire just anybody who works for you. Like, you're going to put them through the ringer. You're going to make sure that they're fucking qualified. Yeah, I guess his point is just, I don't want you to have a wife and kids because I don't want anything taken away from your time. Or a husband and kids. Well, we want you to have a wife and kids

and we want them to be perfect without you doing anything. Yeah. Because you're fully dedicated to them. Yeah. Also, I don't know how much being a good parent has to do with being the president. It kind of does in your heart, but does it actually though? No. If you're in a pinch and you need a lawyer,

and you're like, oh, this guy's a terrible dude. He cheats on his wife, but he's the greatest lawyer. You'd be like, okay. I don't give a shit, right? No one cares. If they're good at their job, no one cares what they're doing at home. Yeah, what makes you a good president might not make you a good father.

And what we need is a president. We just want to be reflected in our presidents. Yeah. Yeah, we want to be reflected in everybody that we see or admire or look up to. And the second they have a quality that differs from us and a quality that we are glad we don't have, then we will hold you to the fire. Now, if they have a quality that's different than us, but a quality we wish we did have, then we admire you for it. Oh, you're courageous.

You're brave. You're confident. Like all the people looking at Prime right now, they're like, man, I wish I had that confidence, man. I wish I could go into a situation like that and just know it was going to be successful. Because when you're president, you're the leader of the free world. It's hard to follow a leader when they have stains on their personality. We want them to be perfect in every way. Yeah, we want you to be perfect, but perfect people might not make the best presidents.

The best presidents might be the people who have failed a lot and know the punishment, the pain, and the repercussions of that failure and will then try to avoid those failures you know it's like somebody who's running a business i don't want someone who's never ran a business before i want someone who's went through everything maybe one of their business fails and they know exactly why it fails yeah that's good because yeah if they got success i'd rather one of their businesses also fail just so you know what to do in that situation what you could have done differently imagine you never had a business fail. All you had is success.

And now we're starting to fail. The fuck you know how to do it. You don't know jack shit. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Also, Trump is just so arrogant.

He's like, yo, my kids are the best. My family's the best. You just get that sense that he thinks he's the best. So if anyone in his family were to slip up, they'd be like, no, look. Whereas Biden said nothing. He's just kind of just been like walking around around sort of just like trying his best for years. And everyone's like, yeah, you can't blame this guy. You know what I mean?

I think people genuinely feel bad for him. At least I do. Do you think he's relaxed? Like he is as a person or since he became president or just in general,, he is arguably the most stressful job in the world. Now, of course, when there is a Navy SEAL that is hiding in a bunker about to assassinate, in that moment, that is objectively more stressful. But I'm talking about day to day waking up and the decision that you have to make affects not just your country, they affect the whole world.

When you leave the world, this is an 8 billion person decision every single time. Do you think he's going, fuck, I got some anxiety today. He always seems kind of chill, making jokes. I'm Jill's husband. Wouldn't you be panicking? I think he's less stressed on average than other presidents. Do you think he knows

what's going on? And is that to his benefit? To his benefit, yeah. If he's not making the decisions already yeah like if the cia whoever's making the decisions at least the poor guy has no fucking clue what's going on because imagine you weren't making the decisions and everybody thought you were yeah oh yeah the fucking pain and stress i wonder how much i wonder how much he's aged in four years and that will tell me how many decisions. If he's aged nothing, he hasn't made a single fucking decision. Did we pay back those loans?

No? Okay. Let me go back and play checkers. Obama looked disheveled. It looked like he knew about some decisions. He had some years on him. George Bush Jr.? I don't think he knew what the fuck was going on. He was chilling.

And there's part of me that's almost like if you had that meeting Junior, I don't think he knew what the fuck was going on. He was chilling. Yeah, he was chilling. And there's part of me that's almost like, if you had that meeting with fucking Dick Cheney, right? And it's like, Dick Cheney's like, I'm going to make all the decisions. And he's like,

George Bush is like, all right, bet. But don't be telling me about it. That's what you got to do. Don't be telling me because if you're going to make the decisions, I don't want to carry the weight

of that. I want to paint soldiers or play baseball or do whatever funny, goofy shit I gotta do. Hang with Alan. Hang with him. The second I'm not responsible, don't be telling me. Have you seen that golf swing thing? Yeah, now watch this drive. The greatest moment ever, dude. If you pull that up,

that's not a guy who really knows what's going on. I mean, that's a guy who millions of innocent people are probably dying he's like i don't know i'm just out here playing putt-putt i get it oh yeah i get it like that's how you prefer it don't here we go bro i miss this america dude we need this back you must stop the terror. I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this guy.

Smacked it. Yo, that is great. Which no one ever talks about that his dad raised a president. Good swing. Oh, yeah. His dad was a president and then raised a president.

And the two of them must have linked up and been like, yo, how fucking crazy is this shit? He almost raised two presidents. Yeah. If it wasn't for Trump, Jeb might have won. Jeb was the front runner of the family. Yeah. He wasn't even supposed to be in it. Yeah.

Jeb was the guy. Jeb was well liked and apparently would have been good. He owned a baseball. They gave him like a goofy job. His dream was to be the MLB commissioner. And then he was commissioner of the free world. That's hilarious. He wasn't ready for that.

Yeah. I just watched his ride. Yeah. You know, all I'm saying is that sounds like a guy that wants to be like, we're going to get these steroids out of the game. Now watch this drive. Yeah. I mean, what do you think they talk about?

Who? Your dad's the president. You're the president. Your brother's a whatever. But keep in mind, his dad was not only the president, a wartime president, and the head of the CIA. Ooh. Like, you were a president in name only. Yeah.

Right? According to the- I know. What is it? President in name only? Yeah, yeah, like Republican in name only. Yeah. Right, according to the- I know. What is it, President of the AMO? Yeah, yeah, like Republican AMO. So it's like, they have nothing, I guess, I mean, they have some, obviously some things in common.

But in terms of the responsibility and bearing the weight of the decisions, if it is true what they say that Dick Cheney was making all the decisions and then the deep state or whatever were involved. What would they talk about? And if you're the son, you'd be like, don't talk to me about this shit. It was supposed to be Jeb's job. I was supposed to own a baseball team. Jeb fucked up. So I had to step in. It was even before. But still, it's like, I didn't want none of this shit.

I had to. He got out of office like, yes, I can paint now. It's so crazy. He seems to have handled it the best. Yeah. Yeah, I can paint now. It's so crazy. He just wanted to be a little painter. He seems to have handled it the best. Yeah. Yeah, don't tell me. If I don't have control, don't tell me.

If I don't have control, don't tell me. He's had the best post-presidency rehab of his image. Him and Jimmy Carter, I think. Jimmy wins. Yeah, Jimmy hated him when he was in office, and now everybody loves him. But George Bush, same thing. George W. Now him and Michelle just hanging out, y him. But George Bush, same thing. George W. Now him and Michelle just hanging out,

yucking it up wherever they go. Fucking friendship. You know what I mean? Peyton Worf. You're like, oh, I like this guy. Yeah. People legitimately thought he was a devil. Obama did a good job.

But Obama was mostly well-liked by... Yeah. W was not. What do you mean? Republicans loved him. Not when he was in office. Of course office They liked Republicans, they didn't like W No, they loved him, they were like the country's safe with him They had a single terrorist attack since he got in He won re-election

Towards the end of his second term Yeah, it was pretty clear Once it was clear that like, oh you got us in this war This bullshit war Like he wasn't like I was in, now granted I moved to, we didn't need to be in it. Like he wasn't like. I was in, now granted I moved to Cali. That's not what I remember. I moved to Cali in 07, but I was in a very red state before, up until 2007.

So I saw a term and a half of him. Yeah. And by around the end of 2006, 2005, people were like, ah, really? What are we doing here? Yeah. Not that all Republicans, all Republicans support the party, but I didn't know a lot of people who were right or die for W. Because people

from both parties lost sons in Iraq. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah, I guess they are. They're from Ohio. Wait, who is? The Bushes? They Bushes, yeah.

I thought it was Texas. They were raised in Texas. George W. was governor of Texas. I can't imagine him... No, the Bushes are... Florida. Say what? Jeb was Florida, but originally they're either from Ohio or like Connecticut or something like that.

Hmm. Yeah. The perspective of them is that they're like these like oil, southern, goody, two-shoes guys. Yeah, I thought they lived in Texas. But no. Go look at where the Bush family's from. Connecticut or Ohio or something? George H.

H.W. is from Greenwich, Connecticut. Yeah. They're just, they're waspy New England folks. Like cosplaying as southerners. Yeah, exactly. W. wasn't cosplaying, though. He just wanted to coach baseball, dude. That's it, dude.

W is Connecticut. He's got to be the most relatable president. So George W. Bush, born in New Haven, it says he grew up in the Texas cities of Midland and Houston, and then went to Yale. It's hilarious. But yeah, they're like waspy New England folks,

but they kind of have this, I guess they spent time down in Texas, but still, like, culturally. W has that little twang. Fool me, can't get fooled again. Of course, they all kind of talk like that, but, like, culturally, like, where they're hanging in the summer, but still. W has that little twang. We all kind of talk like that. But culturally, where they're hanging in the summer, who they're politicking with, they ain't in the fucking cowboy

boots and on the fucking horses. They're in waspy ass. They're at the fucking Cape Cod or Nantucket or whatever it is. He's second best golfer, apparently. Of all presidents? Yeah, JFK's one. Really? Apparently W's too. Bro, you don't think Trump is pretty good? I've been watching his swings.

I'm just saying, this is like golf pros talking they like did a candid talk where they're like yeah i've golfed with 10 presidents five presidents whatever like comparing swings on stuff and they're like jfk number one even with the broken back number one w and like a few others sort of like really fight out for two oh Oh, really? FDR is pretty good. Handicapped. That helped a little bit. What about Barrett? His legs? Yeah, exactly. What about Barack?

Barack was a later in life golfer. W would have grown up playing. Yeah, he was too busy hooping. He was busting ass. That's Hooper, no doubt. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you on Patreon this Friday. We appreciate you. We love you.

Peace.