Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Saturday Night Rive

Episode Date: September 17, 2019

Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: Shane Gillis being fired from SNL, Tyson Fury's gash during his fight, Schulz loving feet, Big Ben's career being over, Harden looking thiccc, and much more. INDULGE!!! Want ANOTHER episode every week? Become a Patron. www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2

Hello and welcome to another shiz! This episode is brought to you by disappearing smoke bomb! Stay focused! Smokebomb.com where you can find your best smoke bomb so you can disappear out of awkward situation. For example, if inside one meal that you gave one person find a tail of rat, then you can disappear smoke bomb out of restaurant.

What the fuck? Guys, this is a new sketch that's going to be on SNL. I'll be a fire stick this commercial. I'm going to get away. Yo, what's up, everybody? Welcome to a flagrant to noisy buckets, analysis by assholes, water cooler commentary for your sports needs. I'm Andrew Schultz. I'm here with my man Akash Singh.

Real Life Cats. Alex Media. Eddie Martinez on the ones and twos. This episode has been brought to you, guys. It's been brought to you by Adam and Eve. Adamandeve.com. Your one-stop shop for all your fuck products. You want to spice things up in the bedroom?

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Go do it. Now, this episode is also brought to you by NBA 2K20. Okay? This isn't a game. Kaz, you know all about it. All day. This is the place the game comes to learn with next-level graphics, gameplay, player control,

customizations. NBA 2K20 continues to redefine what's possible in sports gaming. Plus, with its immersive open-world neighborhood, 2K20 is a platform for players to come together and create what's next in culture. Play NBA 2K20 today. You could play against Kaz. What's your username, Kaz? At RealLifeKaz1. At RealLifeKaz1.

Okay, don't trust that. At RealLifeKaz RealLifeKaz1. At RealLifeKaz1. Yes, sir. Okay, don't trust that. At RealLifeKaz. That's not Kaz. At RealLifeKaz1. That's the man. Shout out to my boy, Ronnie2k, my second favorite Indian. Shouts to Ronnie.

I just found out he's Indian this moment. Tall-ass Indian. He's like 6'8". Son of Ronnie? That's not an Indian name, is it? Yeah, I'm confused by that. I'm sure that's a short Indian. Yeah, it's got to be a nickname.

Ronneef? Maybe. Who knows? Never asked. Ronneef? Is that a name? I've never met a Ronneef either.'m confused about it. I'm sure that's a short Indian name. Yeah, it's got to be a nickname. Raneef? Maybe. Who knows? Never asked. Raneef? Is that a name? Never met a Raneef either. Raneef Singh.

I'm assuming that's a name. Ooh, a Singh. Anyway. NBA 2K20, welcome to the next. Now, let's get the show started. We just received news that SNL has said sayonara to Shane Gillis. And he said... That's why, that's Shane Gillis And He said That's why Lower my seat

How the fuck I do it You should just bow My gosh I'm out here bowing I'm a slave to two pockets Damn son They should have hit him with a gong That's fucked up Gave. Damn, son. They should have hit him with a gong at the end. Son, they gonged, showed him.

That's fucked up. But real talk. Gave him the five fingers of death. That's it. Shinsu sword to the contract. Cut that shit. It's hot out here. If you don't.

Hot out here for a white man. Dude, it's hot. Do you think it's hot out here? Because it's hot. Get yourself one of them fans, son. I mean, just. fan, son. So, for those of y'all who don't know,

SNL hired three new people. Some chick that nobody cares about, apparently. Bowen Yang, this Asian dude who had a hilarious viral video. Did you see the video of him? Okay, remember the Devil Wears Prada? Yeah. Do you remember the scene where, I think it's Meryl Streep or the other white chick, I don't know. Yeah yeah do you remember the scene where I think it's

Meryl Streep or the other white chick I don't know yeah yeah so the scene where Meryl Streep's explaining

the like the history of a fucking dress or some shit whatever it's a funny like obnoxious scene he lip syncs

this thing so fucking well like if there is anything that it's proven that like you can mock a race

and get into SNL yeah oh yeah there is anything that it's proven that, like, you can mock a race and get into SNL. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a way to do it. He just did it right. There's ways to do it, yeah. This guy, Bo Yang, it's really fucking good. I mean, that's what a lot of people—

We can't play it because we'll probably get flagged, but just go look it up. Yeah. It's really good. I mean, that's what people— I'm not bullshit. That's what people were defending Shane about. They were like, yo, they make fun of white people, black people all the time on SNL. Right.

Why is it that, you know, this guy making fun of Asian people? Granted, you know, however you may feel. We'll go into it. That was the defense. That was the defense. We'll go into it. And I think when you get into that type of argument, well, where it's like a he said, she said type of thing thing i think everybody loses in a lot of ways but uh what so basically shane um the second he is up for this snl thing you have these fucking parasites right there are these blogger parasites whose only job is to try to get you to lose your job

yeah they're ruining lives they are ruining lives they they care about nothing but their own retweets their own clicks they are literally there to cause controversy and have corporations bend to their whim. That's how they validate themselves is they're powerless incels living in their parents' basement. And what they do is they go, I'm actually a real person if I can get bounty to stop selling paper towels

on this TV show. That's what a female incel is, a blogger. A female incel. Oh my God. The guy who started is a guy. Well. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if he'd classify himself that way.

We don't identify you like that. That's the new shit, how we identify you. Hey, listen, gender is a social construct. So I can identify you however you want. All right? Add in. He got some tenders. He did.

Oh, guys. Tender is a good choice of word. Tender was good. Succulent. He did. Oh, guys. Tender is a good choice of words. Tender was good. Succulent. Juicy. Juicy. Cooked to perfection. Anyway, so a podcast with Shane and this other kid is on Earth.

I don't know the other kid's name. Sorry, buddy. But you're unimportant in this situation because you didn't lose anything. Sorry, buddy, but you're unimportant in this situation because you didn't lose anything. And so basically where Shane is saying he's making fun of like Chinatown and Chinese people. He drops a Chinese racial slur that rhymes with blink. Can't do that. Sink.

That's not it. But, yeah, exactly. uh, sink. That's not it. But yeah, exactly. And, um,

now what's interesting about this racial slurs slur specifically is that it's not a slur when used in certain situations. Like you can say a chink in your armor. Yeah. Right. That is okay. Yes. Like there's no other time to use the N word and it's okay. There's no,

there's no, there's no, you could say Negro. That's no, but the N word specific, right. There's no, there's no, you could say Negro. No, no, but the N-word specific, right? The only other one that's like that

is Cracker and it ain't that bad. We're totally fine with Cracker. We front, like we're upset about it, but just so you know. Why do people just want

to get on the outreach chain? No, no, no, no, no. We just, we're trying to manipulate you guys into not getting an effective one. We're like, oh,

that hurts so bad. It hurts so bad to be called slave owners. Oh, rough. So, but, so, so basically this clip comes out and he's just talking about Chinatown and like talking about and like saying this word. And it's the worst thing to defend. Yeah.

I know Shane. He's a good guy. He's a nice guy. I've heard he's very funny too. He's a funny guy. Okay. It's the worst thing to defend because he's not even making a joke. It's one thing when you make a horribly offensive joke,

like an Anthony Jeselnik might do like a really offensive joke specifically to offend type of thing. As comics, we can at least go, guys, he's obviously satirizing the situation. He's making a joke. Here, he's just kind of speaking edgy you know and i understand the idea is like i'm going to speak in a tone that will trigger people and that will be the reason why that will be the goal of it but there's nothing there wasn't anything redeeming about it now

is he defined by this one moment no it was a hand-selected moment to make him look bad so snl would fire him which they did did. Yeah. Right? So effective. The guy who put this out, effective. Yes. And he's going to get snuffed, the guy who put this out, by the way. Do we know who he is? Yeah. I'm not going to say his name just now, but like I think he's a guy on the West Coast.

It shocks me that – Wait. What do you mean? It was like another comic that put it out? No. He's like a blogger of comedy, and I think he might have done some comedy. But like I'm truly shocked that like West west coast guys like if he can walk around open mics and he can be in the comedy scene because he hasn't done this just for him this is like a part

of the thing that he does tries to get people get people like cancer oh you got to get that guy out you got to snuff this guy real talk that's like ground level you got to snuff i'm a group of people got to snuff easy right so west coast on that let's go chop chop like come on y'all so yeah y'all really drive me some gangsters out here stop i thought you meant snuffed as in like silencing do i think comedians are gangsters who will actually kill a person no we could beat the shit out of somebody if there's six of us. If there's 50 of us at an open mic, we could do that.

We could do that. I fuck with it. You know what I mean? And he deserves it. You are ruining lives. That's all you got to do is just get snuffed just so you know what happens. I've been snuffed for what I said on stage.

I've been punched in my face because of what I said on stage. Really? And I keep talking that shit, so I'm willing to take a punch. Yeah. To say what I want to say. You know the consequences.

I know worst case scenario. I've experienced it. We're still out here. Yeah. So you just need to experience a worst case scenario to see how bad you want to blog. Yeah. Because it's funny how your passion and drive goes away after getting punched. Mm-hmm.

It's really easy to kind of have these situations without losing anything. Yeah. Like, as long as you keep doing this shit, it's like, to kind of have these situations without losing anything It's like oh until you get hit with some shit. Will you lose it? That's when you really realize, okay? How bad punch in the face once and you're like, you know what that wasn't that races? Before every joke in a black is this worth getting pushed Who had a bird was it probably bird bird Louie. Who had it? Burr? Was it somebody? Probably Burr. Burr, Louie, or somebody had a bit. Some redhead had a bit about how, like, I forget exactly what it was.

Something about the importance of getting punched in the face. Well, yeah, yeah. He says basically women will just, we don't hit women anymore, so they just keep pushing and pushing and pushing. Right. Because there's no line. Every guy learns there's a line I don't step past because we've all been hit. Yes.

Yes. I remember I had a bit. It was a similar idea. It was like, you know women haven't been punched in the face because whenever they get punched in the face, they're still talking shit as they're going to the ground. They're so surprised that they get punched in the face that they don't realize it until they actually hit. They get cracked. They're like, but why did I? What?

Did you just punch me? Like whenever you're a dude and you get punched in the face, you are cripplingly aware that you should have been punched in the face. Absolutely. You know it's coming. You know it's coming. Never does a dude get punched in the face and he goes, how could you? You should have just punched me in the face.

You're either eating it or you're fighting or some shit. Something's got to happen. Exactly. So whatever. The point is, the guy says, and I've been speaking to a lot of specifically Asian comics about this because I want to get their perspective

and it's the toughest situation for them because when you're a comic and Chappelle said this the best when the Kramer situation came out. He goes, I found out in that situation I'm more comic than I am black. Yeah.

Right? I remember that. I remember that combo. Right? So it was like, because the comic in me was... He must have been bombing. He must have been.

It's tough. Hang in there. He's a big bomb. Hang in there. You're going to be all right. Something like that. Something to that extent. And like,

so you have all these Asian comics that are like, I can't even defend it because there's no joke to defend. Yeah. It's just casually talking shit. Now – so I completely understand where they're coming from in that regard. And then I'm looking at just different tweets that pop up and Ari Shafir said like the best thing.

He goes, listen. Shouts to Ari. He got a great podcast called Skeptic Tank funny comic he goes if you ever hear a comic say anything racist hateful homophobic on a podcast that he knows is being recorded

please believe it's meant to be a joke that's well said he's aware that he's being recorded and he might have an intended purpose this is just the hardest thing to defend

because you can't just go I see what you were doing there Dina Hashem it was blatantly a joke yes yeah so we could defend what you always say

judge me off intent I didn't think the intent was hateful probably because I do a podcast right yo people don't realize how fucking hard it is to try to be funny for an hour and a half or whatever you're doing your brain is just constantly going and sometimes you're just searching for the funny thing right and i think he was trying to search for the funny thing and he just failed he just flopped but the intent was to

try to find the funny thing in my mind and so to me it's like all right you failed you should deal with some consequences but I don't think you should be losing the fucking dream opportunity that you just got. Exactly. And that's where we're coming from where it's like,

you know, people really are losing these jobs. And don't get me wrong, I get it. I empathize with the Asian guy who has no clue about this guy's comedy,

doesn't even really know him as a standup and just hears him casually talking racist and that reminds him of other casual racism he might have expected i get that yeah i'm not ignorant to that what i'm saying is as someone who like knows him and knows that he does comedy that is purposely triggering yeah like the goal is to trigger like he'll go up there and he'll be like yeah trump 2020 he don't

give a fuck about trump it's just what going to rile that group of people up. Like shake the table. Right. Right. And what I noticed was interesting about this is once the narrative is set, now everybody's trying to confirm narrative. So narrative got set as he doesn't like Asians. And now they start looking through everything he's ever done. Yeah.

And start finding the anti-Asian shit. There was like some other video that popped up recently or something like that. There was an article that popped up where he was like, you can make fun of Asians and audiences don't care. And that was the only sentence that was taken from it. And I asked him about it. I was like, bro, that kind of sounds weird. What's up with that?

And he's like, dude, they didn't even keep the entire segment of what I said or they didn't post. If you listen to the whole thing, the context, I'm saying it is completely hypocritical that you can make fun of Asians and it's okay and other groups you can't. That's unfair. Joe Coy talks about that. That's a fact.

Asians just get made fun of all the time. Little dicks, all the stupid stereotypes. We get it. Can I also say something as a comic? Maybe it's because I'm a comic. I dealt with brown jokes growing up. I performed in the hood rooms coming up, and I would hear the hackiest shit. Yes.

I never once thought to myself, that guy should lose anything. I thought, that's not funny, bro. It's not funny. That's all. That's the worst thing about it is imagine the entire world sees your comedy for comedy quote comedy for the first time and it's the worst comedy you've put out yeah it's not like it was a bit that he worked on that went viral that they're like this is offensive that you could live with right you're like i stand behind a joke if you don't like it you don't like it yeah but to have like the shitty

conversation where you did low-hanging fruit we've've all been there. Yep. But that's what everybody finds out about. And you don't know how young he is in comedy. And I know so many unfunny jokes that I made that probably just sounded pure hateful because I didn't know how to be funny. It sounds like it's the easiest, most natural thing in the world that you should just know right away.

It takes a long time to learn how to be funny consistently. Yep, consistently. Everybody has a moment. Yo, but when you got to shoot all the time. On the clock. There's a difference between shooting in your backyard and being Steph Curry. Yeah.

There's a big fucking crevasse between the two. Yeah. And that's what you got to try to bridge the gap as a comic. And it takes years. Yeah. And he probably put it out early. Yeah. Yeah, it's a shame. sucks for him man i mean the

one thing i took away from it was because usually when these things happen i'm like all right who are the people that should be offended feel like how do they feel and i think pablo tori had like a tweet and i watch him a lot on uh uh high noon with bamani and he said something along the lines of like not only he he his he was just more offended that you would just he just wasn't funny same thing you said exactly you know what i mean and it's like he's a guy who sees all that probably sees all the asian jokes makes all the asian jokes he's a guy on espn one of the biggest fucking uh platforms on the planet and you know not only was he offensive it was offensive and unfunny so it's just like like you said once it's the hardest

thing to defend man and the people that should be offended feel a wayunny so it's just like like you said once it's the hardest thing to defend man and the people that should be offended feel a way about it then i'm just like can't you just be offended why you gotta be offended and fire somebody yeah why it's gotta be both yeah i can't just be offended but it's offensive like it's hard that's the difference between that was offensive and that's offensive your career should be over i mean yeah well what it comes down to is like i get snl's you know position there man like they can't afford to lose any viewers man yeah if it's like and if that's the point where it's like yeah this guy's gonna look like the most anti-asian dude and you lose a lot of asian viewers and there's a lot of asian people that i assume watch

the show yeah then you gotta bro i don't know nobody watch that show let nobody who watches that show. Let's be honest. It's only white girls that watch that show. White Jewish girls watch SNL, that's it. There's nobody else that really watches it. I watch performances on Hulu. No, no, that's the thing.

That's the thing that I'm trying to tell people is like, SNL is a YouTube show. Yeah. Like, this is what people don't realize. Nobody watches it live.

You watch the sketches that were actually good if they have any that are good. You watch them the that were actually good if they have any that are good. You watch them the next day or that week on YouTube. So here's my feeling. It's like,

if your goal is to be on SNL, you can achieve that exact same goal by just putting something up on YouTube. The only difference is bookings. Like, there's people

who are on SNL who I don't see a bunch of viral sketches of theirs, but I see them on a lot of shows. Not saying they're not funny because they are. Right, right. But like as comics. Yes, yes, yes.

But as a comic, you get the bookings. Exactly. And that's what was going to change for Shane. And you get money. And your life changes overnight. That's why I can't hate on motherfuckers that do that show. Like every comic in the world hates on SNL. And then they get offered SNL and then that's the thing they want more than anything.

This is a comic thing we all do. We hate on everything until they offer it to us and then we're like, oh, I'd love to do that. It's very rare that you're a comic that's financially secure enough to turn shit down.

Yeah. Drew, would you do SNL? I'd host it. No interest in being on the show. Outside of hosting. I honestly would be tempted because you're looking at

Andrews again, like he used the exact words financially secure enough. I'm doing pretty well. And if it came down to this or SNL to this all day, but there's a security with SNLs. Oh, my next five years are good. Just that credit. I got five years.

And whatever I do with that is on me. But I got five years now. I'm good. So as much as I don't like that show, I'm going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. I can't knock anybody for doing something that makes you secure. I don't think that that might,

that may or may not be the right decision for you. Oh, for me, because we got this is different. So for me, but it would cross my mind. I think about it for sure. And I think at the end of the day, I'm always going to do this over everything. But there's that part of your head that's like not financially secure. It's like, son, this is five years.

I don't knock any comic with a day job that wants to take a role in comedy. I understand the pull of that. I've been in that situation where I've done shows I didn't want to do because there was financial security attached. I host a fucking dating show on MTV. It sucked. But I did it because I had a contract and I was obligated to do it. So I understand going from like barely making it to six figures and how that feels yeah it's a fucking great feeling but you were gonna say something no

no i just i was just curious if you guys like where you're at the show yeah i've never i've never really liked snl i never watched snl i loved it as a kid man as a kid i loved it i still know how to run man i was never into it it's had it's it's had it's moments like okay Sandler, Farley, Spade them those

those eras which really got me into it but more with like Eddie Murphy even like the mid 2000's

like with fucking with the cheerleading shit Kaz gotta pretend he watched Eddie Murphy cause he black you were too young

bruh you were younger than me I watched the rerun I watched Gumby I just feel they just have Stand out clips

Every once in a while It's what Fallon The Jack in the Box joint Like everybody You have little things That just like popped And resonated It's an institution right

So this is what SNL is It's a Dick in the box sign It's a Yeah dick in the box It's a It's a A shortcut

To The top of Hollywood. Yes. Well said. So like you're in SNL. You're in the Hollywood matrix. All those writers from SNL go on to write the movies. All those writers go on to maybe direct or produce stuff.

And you're in this direct pipeline to the top of Hollywood. It's like getting into an Ivy League school. Yes. And ironically, all the writers are from an Ivy League school. Yeah. Right? So they've curated a program, right? It's like it is the white privilege of entertainment.

If white privilege, the idea is that there's this system and structure set up to benefit white people, Hollywood and comedy have SNL, which is this system and structure to benefit the talent that's on SNL. And you see them going in and having success in Hollywood indirectly and rightfully so. The problem is Hollywood is crumbling. The shows don't work. The movies don't work. The things don't work.

And the powers that be in the industry are no longer part of that matrix there's not a massive breakout star from snl that we can remember for a while the biggest one is probably pete i was about to say pete he's got suicides going on and he's barely on the show but but think about y'all can't name a single thing pete did funny on the show his first monologue first monologue was great which was his stand-up yep it was out of was great, which was his standup. Yep. Knocked it out of the park. And it was his standup though because he was a standup.

And I think he still does standup. Yeah. It was a funny standup. So it's like, we know Pete from antics. We know Pete from dating Ariana Grande and like mental health shit. So it's like,

the pipeline. Antics, mental health shit. You know what I'm saying? Like TMZ. No, I know. He's a young fucking, he's the guy who's doing the show. And Pete's a funny comic and You know what I'm saying? Like TMZ. No, I don't. He's a young fucking – No, no, I get it.

Pete's a funny comic, but Pete's also a star. He just is a star. That's all there is to it. He's got a presence about him. I get it. So there's this pipeline, but now the pipeline leads to something that isn't as fruitful as it used to. So I don't think it has the same value. And I think that's what a lot of people are starting to realize you know you have a guy like jay farrow who was a standout sensation on the show

killed it great uh impressionist amazing impressionist leaves the show has a showtime series doesn't really go and now where is? The guy's undeniably talented. Back in the day, that's Jay Pharoah directly to movies where he's doing... It's not the Eddie model, but it's... He's Eddie, but there's a lot more offered. There was a time where

you do SNL two or three years, you are headlining, starring in a major motion picture, major high-budget movie. Within two or three years, are headlining starring in a major motion picture major high budget movie within two or three years Jason Sudeikis exactly fucking

all the women from there fucking Tina Fey the other the blonde haired girl on Parks and Recreation I forgot her name all the motherfuckers

Kristen Wiig Kristen Wiig another one now it's just kind of like I don't know like Kenan Thompson got a show so it's interesting it's like i don't know like kenan thompson got a show so so it's interesting it's like they all had their they all had their their movies and now instead

of like headlining movies they're back to playing like supporting characters yeah like supporting roles in movies right back in the day that was not the snl model is i'm gonna put you in some some movies on some side shit and then eventually you're going to be running it. It's yours. This is the next generation of comics. But that's not what's happening. The people that run a business are operating in the internet space already, the Rogans. You know what I mean? Like those are the people that are pushing it. Those are the people getting millions of views.

When one podcast of his gets more views than like the month of SNLs. Honestly, it might be two month of SNLs Mmm Honestly, it might be two months of SNLs. There's no more sitcoms. So it's not like you do that show and then get a sitcom Hmm. It's a tricky situation very true and they have talent there Michael Che head writer love Michael Hilarious stand saw him at the Garden the other day at Monday Night Raw. Oh, yeah. Every time I see him, I tell him to quit.

Quit as in no. Every time I see him, let's do some stand-up. Let's go. Let's do this. This is what you're born to do. You're supposed to do stand-up. Granted, I'm sure he feels a responsibility. First black head writer of the show.

He's going to get certain guests and certain artists on that show that would never be there if it wasn't. He's already put certain sketches that wouldn't. A hundred percent. He's had a profound effect on that show. Absolutely. Yeah. And he's doing what many people talk about doing when they're in positions of power, but maybe don't.

Right. He's truly. Putting people on. Putting people on. As he should. And, which is awesome. And I'm maybe coming from this situation of privileges is just like, well, I don't need to put anybody on my skin color.

I can do it with my boys, et cetera. Yeah. But the selfish part of me is like, yo, you're really good at standup. Do some fucking standup. Oh,

he'll get there. He'll get back eventually. Then that folks especially put out the Michael chain matters. Still one of my favorite standups. It's like 10 years at least. But yeah, so it's a, it's an interesting situation with Shane, man, and I hope Shane learns from this

and rallies from this, and the way you win is the Rick Ross model. You just put out hits. Now is the time for Shane to be funny, put out funny, address this funny, just win with funny. You know, 6ix9ine, the whole world wanted to kill him, and every day he put a new little thing on Instagram that was funny, just win with funny. You know, 6ix9ine,

the whole world wanted to kill him, and every day he put a new little thing on Instagram that was funny, and we're like, I don't kill him. Nah, he still kind of want to kill him now. A few dudes want to kill him, but you're also like,

ah, this guy's pretty cute. They want to kill him because he stopped putting out that fire content. Okay, we're done with this. Maybe we touched base a little bit, but Kaz has to run, so we want to get this flagrant thought of the week out. Okay, we're done with this. Maybe we touched base a little bit, but Kaz has to run, so we want to get this flagrant thought

of the week out. Kaz, talk to us. Yeah, shout out to Kanye West being the most, the greatest manipulator of black people I've ever seen in my life. Whoa.

And number two is so far, like Obama's way below there. Yeah. Not manipulating, but just as far as people. Kaz getting flagrant.

It's not even... Okay, you're missing the point of me saying manipulating. I'm talking about as far as like no matter what I say, people will follow me, whether good, bad, indifferent. Kanye West is...

I've never seen Alex had to check Kaz on his blackness. This is profound. I watched the fucking... I've been watching like the Sunday... You've been watching the Sunday service

Yeah Shit Great Right He got me I ain't gonna lie He got me He got me back son

That fucking easy He got me back That easy He's not doing anything And mind you It's great And I called a lot of shit On Twitter yesterday

Cause I was like I didn't even say This How it made me feel About like church or whatever I just said yo This ain't weird to y'all question mark and i had kanye stands like church freaks like super religious people

come to be like no you don't understand like prophets they use uh and jesus used prostitutes and the worst people and that i had to spread his message and don't you think that i'm like so kanye's a prophet that's all Hey I'm like listen Kanye can't even hold his own prophets His wife got more prophets than he do I'm like Kanye has convinced motherfuckers Fashion

And music Production Footwear now Religion Politics Literally every Fabric of black You know Or just any type of pop culture he's kind of

influenced somehow and it's like no matter what he's said or done people have just always found excuses for him to just be like oh well you know it's kanye and this is that and and it's fine but like it's it's at this point i'm just like it's the first time well second time in my life since the MAGA shit since the Ye shit where I legitimately couldn't care less about the dude

like at all he announced the album was coming out and all this other shit and it's the first time in my life and I was just like I don't care

it's very interesting take I don't care I've always said that Kanye's greatest gift his genius is taking white shit and making it cool for black people.

Yeah, now it's gospel. So – and what's interesting is, you know, let's say it starts with back in the day when he was wearing the fucking like – Pink polos. Pink polos that like – Backpacks. Yeah, he was doing that waspy like Connecticut culture right and then he shifts to like the grunge culture the Seattle scene with the baggy sweats and the baggy sweatshirt or whatever and rip sweatshirt yeah with the Yeezy line then he takes dad sneakers like the classic you know head coach Nike he's

doing different subdivisions of white people subdivisions like the uncoolest part of white culture he makes cool for black people he tried to do do it with the MAGA hat. Yeah. He tried. That didn't work. It didn't work, but it got close. It was a hot stove. People wore it. It was close. And by and large,

we didn't fuck with it, but there was a good amount of people like, well, if Carter could wear the hat, I'm going to wear it. I'm like, yada, this is crazy. And what's very interesting is

music has been synonymous with black church since the beginning. Mm-hmm. Right? But there was a style of music that was made for it. It was gospel. Yes.

And there is a white church called Hillsong, which is basically rock and roll and church. Yeah. So it's like rock, church. And Kanye created rap church. He created rap church, R&B church. Right? And he's really flipped it and it is effective because you know what's more effective than reading bible verses listening to the hottest songs in the last 30 years with the best producer of music doing a religious flip on it it just it makes me it just me uncomfortable. Yo, this is why he don't care

if he pisses black people off because he knows how easy it is. Because he knows we're forgiving. Yes. We're so fucking forgiving. He knows how to get y'all back in a heartbeat. No, black people are forgiving as fuck.

If it gave him, we just ignore all the bullshit and just listen to the music. Until he touches some kids, we're not going to cancel. When did anybody need anything else from Kanye

except just listen to my music? Just buy my shit. When did he need anything else from him? just listen to my music? Just buy my shit. When did you need anything else from him? You just needed him to just be like... What the fuck are you talking about? You don't have like... That's like being like, I don't fuck with Andrew,

I just go to all his shows. That's it. I don't support the man though. So you know like the art, you can just like the music and not like the person. But that's the thing. He puts out fire at you.

That's why I had my heart, and this is going to be such a sharp left turn before I go, without having to defend it much. This is why it was so hard for me to put down R. Kelly for the longest time, because I think just like that. Yeah, but he fucked kids. It's different. If you fuck some kids, I can't do it.

Years ago, I was like, oh, man, Lino, I could just. He's so talented. He makes good music. And it was so easy for me to turn that away. But now it's just like, well. He's just trying to be a troll. Also, Kaz was a kid when that was happening. So he had something in common with R. Kelly.

He was like, I think these 15-year-old bitches are hot, too. I like 15-year-old bitches. I also like 15-year-old bitches. You know what I mean? All right, Kels. I see you, Kels. But what I'm saying is when you support the music, you support the bullshit, too. That's why he was so relatable to Cass in that moment

in his life. He was so influential. Cass comes to school every day thinking, yo, R. Kelly onto something. I wish I had more time. Finally someone's speaking to me. OK? All these rappers talking about girls in their 20s.

I don't want these old bitches. All right, all right. I got to break out. I need a young chick with barrettes in her hair. He's like, damn, R. Kelly got that up. I need a young chick with barrettes in her hair. He's like, damn, I'm telling you I got that baddie

I was looking at on MySpace. Okay. Very interesting point. Akash, you got a flagrant thought of the week. Yeah,

I got a friend. I was in LA. He's talking about he's taking anger management classes and then I realized how come men are always taking

anger management classes and there's no class for bitches to stop making us so angry. This is an interesting point. You never see a woman in an anger management class. That is true. It's all men getting pissed off by their girlfriends and they're like, yo, you got a problem. You should see somebody. Yes.

There's never a class that's like, yo, can you shut the fuck up sometimes? You never see gay guys in anger management. Bruh, for what? That is fascinating. Is guys in anger management. Bruh, for what? That is fascinating. Is there gay anger management? And I would say they're the most angry. Gays? Yeah, they give mad sass all the time.

Yeah, but that's... Sassy's not angry. That's sass is when you're not angry. That's them trying to flirt. They're probably trying to fuck you, Alex. Yo, son, there's this... They be trying. This gay dude tried to play hard to dude tried to play um hard to get

with me where oh shit i was at this party with my girl one of these like fashion things right and uh it's all gay dudes and me and there's this indian gay so it's all gay dude oh we got game this indian gay walks up like he's walking by he sees me he goes like this he goes like this he goes he's walking by he like sees me he like looks at me and then he goes and then looks away and i was like yo this guy was trying to play hard to get did a little party you want to get him just you know i mean let him know nah dude all right so here's my flagrant thought flagrant thought of the week i went to go see the goldfinch with my girl yesterday do you know the goldfinch that movie no bro yo goldfinch cinema you watch good ass movie right

fucking brilliant movie and i'm watching this movie it's based on a book right and uh gay watching harry potter saving tigers in asia what the fuck is he on all right go goldfish sorry you don't watch Harry Potter, son? Son. Yeah, when I was a kid. When was the last time you watched Harry Potter? Be real. All right.

It's different because he mentioned it. So then I was like, oh, let me bring that shit back. This guy's maggot ass has a wand at his house that he bought at Harry Potter World. I don't want to hear shit from you. That's why I knew he was lying because that shit just opened up like in the past five years. That's why I was like, I went recently down Harry Potter world. I went there early too. Get out of here, bro.

Drafting your fucking Gryffindor outfit. I don't want to hear nothing from you, dog. Anyway, you're not even Gryffindor. Nah. Fucking Ravenclaw. Nah, I'm a bad one. You Ravenclaw loser. You're not Slytherin.

I'm Slytherin. No, you're not. I'm Slytherin. You're not I'm Slytherin you're not even close to Slytherin I'm straight Slytherin dude the sorting hat would be like get out the sorting hat

wouldn't even choose you go back outside okay so we're at this movie watching a goldfish right and the goldfish takes place

in two there's two timelines there's one where Ansel Elgort plays the kid who's let's say in his 20s right mid 20s

Ansel Elgort do you know who he, let's say, in his 20s. Right. Mid-20s. Ansel Elgort. Do you know who he is? No fucking clue, dog. You do know him. He's a... Fuck, I forgot the name of that movie. Oh, is he Game of Thrones? No, no, no, no, no.

If you can get up a picture of him, that'd be good. Just so we can put some context in. He's actually a fucking really good actor. And more so than actor, star quality. Comes through the screen. This kid right here. Okay. Okay, yeah. I think I know him. You've seen him comes through the screen this kid right here okay okay yeah I think I know him

you've seen him in different movies that kid right there yeah yeah I've seen him oh Driver or some shit not Driver Baby Driver Baby Driver

yeah yeah he's good so that's him as a kid yeah right and that's him as an adult and they take place in two timelines so the kid one right

the kid's let's say tops middle school maybe first year high school right tops right him as adult and they take place in two timelines so the kid one right the kids let's say tops middle school maybe first year high school right tops right middle school maybe first year high school part of the timeline the kid i'm not going to ruin any movie but he has to go to las vegas uh and he befriends some kid in las vegas let's say he's tops freshman high school befriends some kid in vegas who's this russian kid by that smart-ass kid that was in It. I forget his name. He's also in Stranger Things.

Really pale, white kid. Doesn't matter. Finn Wolfhard. Finn Wolf whatever. Doesn't matter. So they like establish this friendship and they're both like lonely and then they meet each other. They establish this friendship and they're doing fucking drugs and the finn guys get them to do acid they're doing fucking they're snorting valium snorting vicodin they're smoking cigarettes drinking they're like middle school freshmen right smoking and uh then they start to

get a little close and then the this kid right here wants to leave and run away to new york and the finn kid is like don't leave wait a day and he's like, no, I got to go now. Just come with me. Just come with me. And he goes, wait a second. And then stops. And I'm like, they're not going to fucking do it, are they? How are they going to do it?

He stops, grabs his face, and fucking kisses him. And I'm at the movie theater. I'm like, do you have to do that? They're fucking 15 years old or 14 years old or 13 years old. They're 13 years old.

They're kissing in a fucking movie. Like, do you have to put that fucking shit in here? What the hell is going on? And my girl just starts laughing. And I'm like, what? And she's like, it's just funny that that's a big deal to you. And I'm like, yeah, it's absurd. Why the fuck do you have to, like, inject this nonsense in their children?

Just let them be kids. And she was like, she goes, she goes, she goes, goes uh she goes i mean you just didn't have a problem with them doing acid for the last 30 minutes drinking smoking doing vicodin doing valium all this kind of shit and i fucking died laughing i was like so true like i was i was totally like how could you let children do that what kind of messaging is this to the kids when they just had an innocent loving kiss because they cared about each other and when they were doing blow and all that kind of stuff i was like you gotta experiment i just don't like it because it feels jammed in like you said does feel jammed in that's why i don't like it does feel jammed in but i thought you were upset

because the dude at the fashion thing didn't do that to you you want him to jam some things in no it was um but it just exposed my bias man i have a bias wow but i also thought about like this if they were two young girls and they kissed would i be okay with it and i don't know there's part of me that's like i't even, I don't know if we need to see kids fucking kissing. Nah, I think you're biased because if it was a boy and a girl, I don't think you would have any problem with that. I would think I'll probably have less of a problem, to be honest.

But if it was a kid that thought he was gay and then a girl like force him to kiss, I'd be like, what are you doing? Just because y'all friends, you think you would kiss? I would totally be okay with that. But I'd be, I'd be more okay with,

I'd still be like, yo, what you doing? And then this is like, I don't think the kid knows he's gay or straight or what i don't know it just feels different when it's like if he's a kid that already identifies as gay and he kisses a dude all right there you go but it's like they're making it more real shit that shit's gross bro no no no no no no let me tell you edit point no no no no no that shit is mad gross but i'll tell you what no no no it's gross as fuck but like yo but here's the thing

it's gross as fuck come on when two dudes kiss It's absolutely repulsive Because But wait for it Wait for it It's just because It's two guys Come on No

No Just here Let me Hold on Hold on Let me finish Let me finish I think he's on to something

Let me finish I think he's on to something No it's because It's two men making out and that's absolutely disgusting so so that's the thing is that like when you see that you're like that's gross as fuck i never want to look at that again ever in my life so but the thing is this right i've thought about it and i'm like holy shit does that make me like homophobic or something like that and then i realized two girls kissing is one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen

and i don't even mean that in terms of like oh my god i just want to whack off it's like i saw these two chicks kissing on the street yesterday and it was like beautiful and fucking sensual and like it was it wasn't even sexy it was like elegant and stuff like that and I was like oh okay that's cool so it's not necessarily a homophobia do you know what I mean

this is what it's like I'm not into cilantro right so when I see cilantro on shit right I'm not into cilantro, right? So when I see cilantro on shit, right? I'm like, yeah. Right? Okay. Okay. That doesn't mean cilantro is bad for you or you.

It's just when I see the cilantro on things, I'm just like, that's not my cup of tea. I can, you can have some cilantro. You can have some. I don't need the cilantro. Burr got a joke about that what'd he say he says this is like his first special

why do I do this he sees two guys making out and then he's like I was just eating fries I was all in my head and then I was like ah man I don't wanna see that

and then some girl starts trying to like yell at him and he's like I thought about it and he's like when I used to watch porn if I saw a guy and a girl

and they were doing doggy style I'd be like I didn't know anything about sexuality but I'd be like that I wanna fucking do that that looks great but at doing doggy style, I'd be like, I didn't know anything about sexuality. But I'd be like, that. I want to fucking do that. That looks great.

But at the same time, whenever they did anything with like feet or like put feet in their mouth, I was like, oh, come on, man. I don't want to see that. It was gross to me. But that doesn't mean that I hate feet and I don't want them in my neighborhood. Right. Right, right, right, right. I mean, I can't relate to that at all because I love feet, but I understand what you're saying. I understand what you're... Hey, here's...

You know what? Okay, let's talk about it. Let's... I think we already started the conversation. No, no, no. Let's have a conversation. A guy with a nice foot? A foot is a foot.

A foot is not a man, and a foot is not a woman. A foot is a foot. You don't know what kind of genitals are attached to that foot. If there was like a glory hole in a... If there was a glory hole in a bar, but it was just a foot that was sticking out. It was two holes

and you stuck feet out and then you could just fuck the feet, but you had no clue what it was. That's a foot. A foot is a foot. You would fuck Alex's feet Alex got nice feet I know this is too close to me I just posted my feet On Instagram the other day

I saw him post his feet On Instagram I have certain issues With Alex's feet Like what? Alex's feet look like They've been in a snake's belly What?

Like there's no space Like they've been like You know like constricted And like you know like When a snake You ever seen like a deer Get pulled out of a snake's belly How like the deer is all like Oh okay okay Like stuck together You know, like constricted and like, you know, like when a snake, you ever seen like a deer get pulled out of a snake's belly?

How like the deer is all like stuck together. You know what I mean? Like you've been packaged. I look like Asian girls' feet when they break them for ballet. They've been wrapped. You look like your feet have been wrapped to be like the most aerodynamic. Yes. You look like your feet are like ready to be on the front of a boat.

You want a more girthy foot. I like a – this is what your feet look like. What? This is what your feet look like. I don't get that. You know, like to cut the wind, like you put your foot on the front of the boat. It's like the nose of a plane. It's the nose of a plane. You have nose of a plane feet.

Nose of a plane feet. That's what you have, right? Like, for example, like if – you know that when Jack was in the front of Titanic and he's like, feet. That's what you have, right? For example, you know that when Jack was in front of Titanic and he's like, I'm the king of the world, right? He was feeling the wind in his jacket. But if you just put your foot straight, you would feel nothing

because it would just cut the wind and it would go equally on either side. The boat would go faster. Say again? The boat would go faster. You would add a mile per hour. You would add one nautical mile per hour minimum with your feet.

That's how slender and straight your feet are but I think you have no balance probably could have cut through the glacier with that pointy ass just son oh dude with that

he was good at karate that's part of the reason I think he was good at karate it's cause it's so sharp and it's so slender your feet are almost like have I paid enough attention to your feet

but your feet are like like a T-1000. You know when he could make this shit? You know what's funny is Alex is mad uncomfortable with this, but when you said his feet weren't nice, he was like, well, hold on though, why? You know what your feet look like? Get up a kangaroo.

Get up a kangaroo. Oh, I want to see some of them. Get up a kangaroo. That's Alex's feet. If you get up a kangaroo, you're going to see his feet. Pull it up next to his Instagram page. That's what Alex's feet look like. These are really high of our feet, son.

Look it. I want you to get up. That right there is Alex's feet. That's an Alex foot right there. Completely flat. Al, get your foot out. Al, get your foot out. Get your foot out right now.

It is exactly like. No, no, no. Not like that. Not like that. Not like that. Not like that. When it's that right there. Just that right there. Just that's right there.

That's out. Look at this. Wow, you really put your foot all the way out. That is Alex's foot. That's crazy. And hold on. I need you to actually come from this angle right here so you can see outside. Come on this angle right here so you can see outside.

You're going to match the picture. Put your foot right up there. Put your foot right up there if you can see outside. Come on this angle right here so you can see outside. You're going to match the picture. Put your foot right up there. Put your foot right up there if you can. Now, look at it from that angle. Akash, look at it from that angle. And then look at that. They're the same.

I see. They're the same. Your shit is mad crunched together. And I think you got a low arch actually now that I'm looking. No arch. Just like a kangaroo. You can't have pretty feet

with flat feet. Come on. Not awful. Not awful. Not awful. Not my cup of tea. Andrew, how do you feel about foot binding or feet binding? I don't like that because I think it distorts the foot. I like a nice foot over a small foot.

I don't value small. It's not about size. I prefer you not to have too big. But back to what we're saying. Guys kissing. But can I be honest with you? I've seen straight couples kiss that I'm not into is it just how ugly

the people are to you and all guys are ugly exactly right but not all guys are ugly I can say like you're attractive you're good

you have like features that are attractive I'm a pretty motherfucker no no no like I'm not one of those dudes that can't admit of course like whatever

you know what I mean you wanna fuck the whole podcast yeah okay that's a lot what are you putting on the fucking TV come on what the fuck is that really that distracting to you oh so now I'm the asshole You want to fuck the whole podcast? Yeah, okay. That's a lot. What are you putting on the fucking TV, Eddie? Come on, Seth! Is that really that distracting to you?

Oh, so now I'm the asshole. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on, Seth. Hold on, Seth. Hold on, Seth. Hold on. I wasn't ready, Seth.

Shut the fuck up. So, look. So, look. Earlier, I go, two dudes kiss. That's gross, right? Earlier, I go, two dudes kiss. That's gross, right? And it puts up 20 pictures of two guys centrally making out on a screen.

And Al doesn't notice it. And it turns to him and goes, oh, come on, guys. Thank you. Come on. Akash hasn't even looked at his periphery. I haven't. But did I ever disagree with you when it was gross? Did I disagree with you or did I just laugh? Did I laugh a silent agreement laugh?

A silent agreement laugh. Yes, 100%. The point is, it has nothing to... You can find something unattractive and totally want them to have rights and want them to be able to kiss as much as they possibly could kiss. Like, you could do all that. That's totally fine.

We can... You know what I'm saying? Get these fucking guys off the screen. Oh, he wanted to go for it. He wanted to go for it. Thank God. You got some fucking kangaroos. It's a normal thing.

Let's look at kangaroo feet for a little bit. Oh, he wanted to go for it. So that's the bullshit. I didn't know you had that. No, no, no, no, no. You crazy, you crazy, you crazy, you crazy. But isn't that the crazy thing? I would imagine, and correct me if I'm wrong, the gay guys that listen to this,

I know we got some gay flagrant to asshole army out here, the real army. I love the gays. Yo, so I would imagine you don't particularly enjoy watching straight couples make out. Yeah. You probably think lesbians kissing is gross. Facts. That's two people I am completely unattractive to just making out in front of me. You don't want to fuck.

That's another thing. I'm not big. I could watch a tranny fuck a girl. Because that's- What kind of? I could watch a male tranny to basically a man that got titties

but still got his dick fuck a girl because that's more straight because that's more tits it's the same amount of dicks in a porn which is one same amount of pussies in a porn

which is the girl but now you have two more tits it's a little it's a little too unusual for my taste unusual unusual but I'm not gonna be like oh more tits right it's just a dude with t? And a chick! The chick is still a chick, and it's a dude with tits. Right? Like, I'm not... I see the logic. It's not my first selection. I don't emotionally agree with you, but I see the logic.

I don't... What you said didn't resonate within me. You know what? I feel the same fucking way. Motherfuckers will be like, oh, that shit is gay, whatever like that. It's like, it's straighter. It's straighter. It's more tits.

It's the same amount of dick. More tits. Like there are two sides. It's Jamie Lee Curtis getting fucked by Jamie Lee Curtis. Think about it. Imagine. We're going to take these episodes to Patreon at some point. I'm just saying.

Imagine. None of us tried out for SNL. Listen. Imagine. Imagine they try to come for us For this episode Imagine I'm like

I saw a fucking guy's feet Just as long as I don't see It's a touch of a guy God Mess you fucking feet. And then the shower stall door is mad, like, thin and hollow. And all of a sudden, you start to go. Just start moving back and forth.

And then you. You like that? You're carrying that, huh? You want me to cup them? You want me to pour my toes in them? You want me to pour my toes? You want me to cup them? You want me to point my toes a little? You want me to point my toes? You want me to attach the toes? Yo, what if you fucking...

Yo, son, what if someone has so much foot dexterity is that you fucking the feet and then all of a sudden the toes just lock like that? Son, the toes just went webbing and webbing. And you were like, oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit. Son, Alex's toes too close together. They can't do that.

Alex B looked like Oscar Pistori. We got the blade runner over here, son. Try to cancel me. Try to cancel me. That's so good. You know what I mean Oh fuck You know what I mean now You know what I mean

Let's pivot What you got Did you see that group text we got From Angry Somalian Oh yo It said make America white again. And then I read the last couple lines and I was like, I don't need this in my life. And it was just mad

hateful, bro. It just said, make America white again. And I thought it would be like a joke. And I was like, I didn't know he was Somali. I was like, oh, I think this guy want to make America white again. Who's this? It's some IG DM. Yeah, we got all group texts. Just some more hate shit. It's like, you're going to get punched, basically.

Me? Yeah. Oh. Somalis are upset again? Yeah. He probably just saw it late. Late to the time. Y'all need to make it like your girl's clits and cut that shit out, bro.

I ain't going to have no more of these death threats, yo. I ain't going to have no more of these. What did Joey say? Cut it out! You think some of them were watching... You think some of them were watching Full House after a circumcision and they were like... Let's do the act out. Let's do the act out.

I be the Somali doctor, you be the father, okay? It's a goal! What would you like us to do? Oh my god. No? Okay, okay. It's a goal. What would you like us to do? Oh, my God. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. This Saturday night, live from New York,

it's not Schultz or Akash. Oh, my God. Yo, let's start a sketch show called Friday Night Live and we just put out all the shit SNL won't do. We're doing a sketch show.

Flagrant Night Live, bro. That's coming. Flagrant Night Live. When we got situations in place, we do a sketch show. First cast member, Shane Gillis.

We got Shane. No, but we gotta have Matt Shane with an Asian. Shane Wang. We got to have... Yeah, Shane got to do something funny. Shane got to go to Asia. Shane got to go to Hong Kong and protest.

That's the only way that he... You know how they're trying to like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go protest with them. He need to go protest. Would you think he'd get away with it if he tried to mock their accents while he was doing it? When in Rome.

I'm just trying to fit in. Guys, I'm looking for some neuter. That's what it was. I kept saying noodle. It's like, I'm not going to stop. I'm not going to I'm not gonna stop making fun of the way people speak

like the way we all speak is funny it's funny bro Russell Peter's the highest grossing comic in the world cause that's what he did Eddie Murphy oh yeah man

like should Eddie Murphy never do an accent let's play Eddie Cliff let's play Eddie Cliff and talk about it real quick Eddie be 100% okay with that making out. Eddie already got a couple of them DVDs you were just talking about.

Facts. Facts. Facts. Okay. It does not sound like you're saying facts. Don't let them fuck that up. Don't let them distort that. Don't be distorting me.

Everybody be distorting. Stop. Y'all need to stop distorting you better make sure you caption this video yo i gotta i gotta let y'all know something man while we're talking about kangaroos yo we coming to australia we coming to Australia Alright fine I gotta tell you guys this real quick

Just cause I fuck Flayer 2 I love y'all Asshole Army I love y'all So New York We sold out Town Hall Y'all sold out Town Hall God damn That's the biggest venue I've

I've I've ever had And um We sold that shit out Show's two months away I was being a little bit of a pussy Not adding another show I'm like what if people don't come out

What if I don't have a second show Blah blah blah And you know I said fuck it I ain't gonna be no more pussy about this shit We going out here We doing it We added a second show Town Hall

Okay Two shows Town Hall That's what's up Let's sell both them motherfuckers out. You saw both of them. That's more people than if we did The Beacon. God damn. That's a big move right there. So we add another show, 11-22.

Ticket pre-sale is today. So if you're listening today, you can get tickets today. The code is Matador. It goes on sale to the public on Wednesday, but I want to give y'all a day to get them tickets early. So the ticket presales today. Code is Matador. We did the same thing for Boston.

Sold out Wilbur Theater. We're doing another one, Wilbur Theater, as well. Then we're cooking, all right? We ain't going to be pussy about this. We're going to fucking go for it. We're going to be hungry, and we're going to grind. We're going to get the word out. You guys are going to get the word out, But let's sell that shit out as well.

Same thing. Tickets come out today. Code is Matador for the pre-sale. Go get them shits. And this week, while you're listening to this, we'll be flying to Australia. Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, myself. And we're doing Adelaide, Perth. Perth show is almost sold out.

Might be sold out. Brisbane. First show sold out. Out of second show. Sydney. Two shows sold out Might be sold out Brisbane First show sold out Out of second show Sydney Two show sold out Out of the third Melbourne

Two show sold out Out of the third Go get them tickets right now For what remains If you guys are from Australia You got recommendations For us to go check out In all those cities

You know we're doing dropping in That fucking Russia dropping in Slap now That shit slap We had 250k Maybe something like that already. Russia love that shit. Yo, Russia was amazing.

So I want to do a few dropping ins while we're in Australia. Okay? So, yo, spread the word, Australia. And if you got cool shit for us to check out, you know what we do in these dropping ins. You got good things to recommend. Let us know. Let's do it. Oh, yeah.

Sacramento. Both shows sold out. We added a third that Sunday. So go get that as well. Theandrewshows. it. Oh, yeah. Sacramento. Both shows sold out. We added a third that Sunday, so go get that as well. Theandrewshows.com. We're adding more shows. We're going to be in Florida, Palm Beach, October 26th. Come out to that. We just posted a link for that, tickets as well.

Just go check out The Andrew Shows. There's more cities there. Akash, what you got? Los Angeles. Sold out. Damn, boy. If you didn't buy tickets You fucked up

Next time we come back When are you going there? I'm there this Thursday 8pm Okay Next time we come back We're gonna do Two shows for sure

But tickets are already Sold out for that But Portland There's still tickets For Curious Comedy At 7.30 on Friday September 20th October 11th

We're in Minneapolis At Sisyphus Brewing Two shows 8 and 10.30 The next day In Detroit We're at Minneapolis At Sisyphus Brewing Two shows 8 and 1030 The next day In Detroit We're at Independent Comedy Club At 9pm

And then November 7th Through November 9th We're in San Diego At American Comedy Club There's a Thursday 8 o'clock Friday 8 o'clock Saturday 7

7.30 and 9.30 Amazing man Doing the weekend And then I'll get you out The 2020 shows Next time Got a couple coming In 2020 also

Go support And get there early Because these shows Selling the fuck out Yes sir Okay don't take your time Yes sir We having fun too

Don't take your fucking time Yes sir Because that shit Be going away San Francisco was fun man Our audience We got the best audience dude Yo

Don This is the guy Who's featuring for me Was in San Francisco Before me Yeah Complaining about the audiences The whole time Came after my shows He's like man Every time Yo Don is the guy Who's featuring for me Was in San Francisco Before me Yeah Complaining about the audiences The whole time

Came after my shows He's like man Every time Your audience is the best He's like I can't even wait Because I know what it's gonna be And then as soon as he got off He's like

This is the most fun I had in the city It's the fucking best Yo We got the best audience In comedy Because they're smart They're not dumb

That's the difference From us and other Like audiences That are just kind of like We like offensive We like offensive We like offensive Our fans are smart too Smart

Flagrant Yup Like to get their feet rubbed Say again Yeah maybe Oh yeah There's two I'll just give you a nice little

Reminder But the point is yo I think we're very excited Good things Good things going down What happened? I fucked up What'd I do?

I got a hangnail On my fucking thing On your I can't get off Oh on your finger I thought it was on your toe Son that'd be a problem No no I got that shit on my finger

I can't cut that shit the fuck off Do you like your own feet? Do I like my own feet? Yeah I feel like if you got a foot thing You probably don't like your You probably don't got good feet Cause I like feet And mine are horrible My feet aren't that great like your feet. You probably don't got good feet. Because I like feet.

And mine are horrible. My feet aren't that great. His feet are terrible. Not as bad as our cost. Our cost is feet. As bad as Kaz's? No, bro. Your shit is the worst.

Kaz don't have a feet thing. No, yours are the worst. No, Alex objectively judged when we got pedicures. Yeah. And he said yours are the worst. But your foot shape is the worst. I've ruined my own feet. Your shit is flat, dog.

Foot sports. It's mad flat. The way that your fingers, not even your toes, are shaped is dog. It's mad flat. The way that your fingers, not even your toes, are shaped is disgusting. It's repulsive. You're right about that. But your foot is fucking horrendous, dog.

Your foot feels like watching guys kiss. Dead serious. I'm being serious, dude. I feel the same way. Your foot in a sandal, I couldn't even watch it. You know what? get that out of here you got the Jamie Lee

Carter's feet we're just doing that right now you got the Jamie Lee Carter's feet you're the only one that think they look alright go back to Chelsea

get these feet the fuck out of here poop it back to Chelsea guys if you found a hundred dollars on the street would you pick it up or would you keep walking?

Of course you'd fucking pick it up. You know what the hell that you're going to do. You're going to take that money. So why do you keep picking winners and not betting on them? Huh? That's what you should do. You got to check out mybookie.com. It's fast.

It's easy. And they pay you when you win because where you're betting is just as important as who you're betting on. Do the smart thing.. Do the smart thing. You do the smart thing, okay? If you're going to bet this football season, you bet with my bookie. Did you know that you could bet on games after kickoff? If by the second half it looks like your bet is going to lose, guess what you can do?

You can always take the other side. Oh, yeah. That's how this shit works. If you're the kind of person that likes to bet a little and win a lot, try a parlay. Parlay means you bet on multiple games and if all of them pan out, you actually get a bigger return. And no matter how much you bet, the NFL season is the best time of year. Join mybookie.com and they're going to double your first deposit. They're going to double your first deposit. Okay. That means you put money in, they double it. You get to gamble with all that.

As long as you use the promo code flagrant. You visit mybookie.com, promo code flagrant. You play, you win, you get paid, okay? Now, this podcast is also brought to you by sports criminals. Fame, money, ego. These things can make athletes seem superhuman. But what happens when those in professional sports reveal the darker side of their humanity? Every week, the Parcast Network's new podcast, Sports Criminals, explores some of the most significant sports crimes in the world.

I love this idea. I love that podcasting is transitioning and getting into this long-form, almost documentary-esque version of the world. I love this idea. I love that podcasting is transitioning and getting into this long form, almost documentary-esque version of the podcast. They're really informative. It's just fucking dope to see the genre evolve. That's what we're seeing with this right now. And look, some are chilling, like when former NFL receiver Ray Carruth hired a friend to murder his pregnant girlfriend. I mean, that's a little crazy uh some of these crimes are reckless when former nba player uh jason williams that's tall not white chocolate yeah that's not white chocolate that is that is milk chocolate center there's another jay williams that i've beaten okay basketball that we all know about of course the infamous hezzy.

He remembers it to this day. He has not invited me on boardroom because of it, probably. Jason Williams shot his limo driver to death and then tried to cover it up. And some of these crimes are unimaginably tragic, like wrestler Chris Benoit, who murdered his wife and seven-year-old son before committing suicide.

Sports criminals, athletes, you thought you knew. Crimes you won't forget. Listen and subscribe to Sports Criminals for free on Spotify. And anywhere you listen to podcasts or visit podcast.com slash sports criminals to listen now. And we are back to the show. The baby bladder has been evacuated. Evacuated.

I was going to say unleashed, but it's not really unleashed is it no bro talk to me my g uh breaking news which is a story we were gonna cover jalen ramsey just requested a trade oh yeah so if anybody hadn't seen the video doug marone is the jacksonville jaguars head coach jalen ramsey really talented but also really obnoxious cornerback yeah they got into some kind of tiff on the sidelines. He was huffing and puffing. And he had to be restrained. Yeah, his teammates had to hold him back.

One of his teammates also pointed at the coach, like, get the fuck out of here, which makes me think he might not be that popular. But Jalen Ramsey has said, get me off this team. I want to trade. So that just happened. Your thoughts? I don't know if I want him enough to give up like a premium pick. It's starting to seem like it's a lot of trouble.

So if you really wanted to be off a team, don't you think that the smart way to do it is to go to your coach and go to the GM and say, hey, privately, I want out of here. GM and say, hey, privately, I want out of here, but you can get more for me if I don't make a stink because that means the other teams don't know that you really want to get rid of me. If I make a big stink out of this, then you're going to get less. Yeah. So why don't we be, what is it, amiable, amicable?

Amicable. Why don't we be amicable about this split? You will get the best deal you possibly can get from me. I get the fuck out of here. You're happy. Everyone's happy. Because now teams are going to undervalue the trade because they're like, listen, they're desperate to get rid of him. Yeah.

And I don't know if I want him. And I don't know if I want him because he's problematic. So this is a guy I thought the Cowboys should have picked over Ezekiel Elliott because running backs aren't whatever. They don't hold their value. And now I'm like, yo, I think they actually made the right pick, which is crazy to say a running back number four is the right pick. But the guy.

Who's been a problem too. And he's been a problem too. But at least he just keeps that shit with women. You don't bring it to the team. Exactly. Compartmentalize. Compartmentalize. Your flagrant thought of the don't bring it to the team. Exactly. Compartmentalize. Compartmentalize. Your flagrant thought of the week.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Maybe Zeke's girl got to take some classes. Dude, what do they teach you in anger management? I probably get out of there before it gets too crazy. That's it? It's just leave?

Probably. I mean, I'm sure they got techniques of just like getting out and stepping away from the situation, whatever. Bro, my girl was cold yesterday when we were watching the movie. That shit annoyed the fuck out of me, bro. Dude, what? Dude, she was cold. She was like, it's so cold in here.

And the first couple of times I was like, all right. And then by the end I was like, bro, if you say you're cold. She said it more than once? Yes, because it was cold. I'm not going to lie, it was cold i'm not gonna lie it was cold all right but it was the eye pick and bring a blanket bro they got blankets i gave her my blanket as well she had two blankets two blanks she didn't want to put it on her upper body because uh she was like i don't think they wash these it doesn't feel clean i'm like you know i don't know i don't i don't really know you got some patience though say what you got some patience, though. Say what?

You got some patience, though. I was already triggered because I saw little kids making out and shit. You know what I mean? There's just a lot going on. What was gross about it? That they were little kids?

I don't know. I can't even tell you. Anyway, the Jalen Ramsey shit, just get the fuck out of there, dude. Get the fuck out of there. He's a pain in the ass. It's like, come on in.

He's a pain in the fucking ass. And at the end of the day, it's like, I don't know if there's any position in the NFL that's worth having a pain in the ass. I don't think any one position. I really am starting to believe there's not one position that's worth having a pain in the ass. I don't think any one position. I really am starting to believe there's not one position that's worth having an ego. I heard a quote that on some radio show,

somebody was saying, a football player told him, you have like, for every one bad apple in a locker room, you need about 20 to 30 good ones to keep him in line. And that's how you control that guy. And that's kind of how probably

the Patriots can get away with having like NAB if they get away with it or Randy Moss for a few years because it's like look we got enough people that are like this is how we do it

that we can keep you in line. And at the end of the day people want to fit in. Yeah. And then they can just kind of bully you

into being like or if you're still going to be alright now we can just get rid of you. There's a natural instinct to fit in. There's a culture

that's been established and everybody fits fits in and when you go to different countries you at first you act as you know if you're in your own country yeah and once you learn the customs of the new one you start to adjust yeah when i was in japan i started to adjust a little bit i wasn't as like affectionate in public because they don't really play that shit right and it gets in your head you become a little insecure you i heard you're supposed to slurp when you eat your neuters as a sign of as a sign of respect as a sign of respect that i and i appreciate what the chef is doing wow bro you know what's crazy is that like right now everybody's gonna be so sensitive about this shit and it's really bullshit because every week we're making fun of indian accent asian accent oh yeah

white accent black like every week we do it but now there's like a heightened sensitivity yeah about it it's fucking bird shit I don't know I'm six I'm not gonna give you five But that's good Bro Bro It's fucking bird shit

Oh I almost fell Yo No I'm being dead serious This shit is not cool I almost fell Yo I'm being dead serious This shit is not cool It's not fucking cool Like two weeks ago Dabble dabble dabble

Yeah Not a big deal Now If we said neuter Oh god yo Yeah You see how easily people are manipulated

to thinking something's wrong dabble dabble neuter neuter it can't help it man this is outrage you just gotta what are you gonna do

you know you guys are stupid you guys are stupid oh man What are you going to do? You guys are stupid, yo. You guys are stupid, son. Oh, man. TK Wang. TK Wang. TK Wang. It's just nice to be on the inside of a joke sometimes

You know what I mean? Oh man Yo what's there to expect You are a fucking wire boy man You are wiring right now I'm wiring? You are wiring What?

You are wiring out Yeah Arich can you get a hold of us? You are wiring out Yeah Average Can you get a hold of us? I can't Yo Yo for real We don't call this shit for a regular dude

For no reason Yo I can't wait till we put this out in crips Yo the IG crips. Yo, the IG crips for this are going to be ripped. You know, what's interesting is that we're actually mocking a Mandarin accent. Oh, word? Yeah, we're actually... Cantonese is a little bit different.

Cantonese. I little bit different Cantonese I know it's close I can't try to fucking hold it in my hand bro I fucking couldn't That was gonna be It was gonna be funny too What can you do man? Every once in a while

I watch that Scooby Doo shit At the end of that It is so funny. Okay, that's the same week where the Shane Gillis shit comes out. We were in Russia, and I was singing the Scooby-Doo theme song in an Asian accent. Okay, before dropping in. Quarter million people saw it, right? And I'm running around the streets of Russia just going, Scooby-Doo-Doo-Doo. Well, how do I say it? I can't do it. You were like, Scooby-Dooby-Doo. How do I say it? I can't do it.

You were like, Scooby-Dooby-Doo. No! Scooby-Dooby-Doo. Scooby-Dooby-Doo. Scooby-Dooby-Doo. Scooby-Dooby-Doo. And then we're singing it at Russians. We're just

screaming it at them. And then they started singing it back to us. It was wild. You can watch it on Netflix. I mean, it's not. No smoke. No smoke because it's undeniably funny. You can't say it's not funny. This is the lesson learned here. Be funny. It's the beauty of the army too,

man. It's all you have. And it's the beauty of the army. It's what we've cultivated, what we've curated. But it's also like, if you're funny, everybody completely forgets about whatever you say. Dude. Dude, stop. Fucking kidding. Dibble dabble, guys.

Remember dibble dabble, how funny that was? Oh, man. Any Asians upset atble, guys. Remember dibble dabble? How funny that was? Oh, man. Any Asians upset at this, I bet you didn't laugh. You better not laugh one second when we dibble dabble with Akash.

No, but yeah, of course. Anybody who's upset at this, this is the first time they're hearing this episode. Dibble dabble. Yeah, let's get to sports before we get... We got more NFL to talk about.

You guys want to do this? Watch your mouth. Oh, dick. get to sports before you we got more nfr to talk about you guys want to do this we gotta talk about the nf hair okay so wait don't you uh you did the other mid-roll silence i did both oh yeah Okay No but We do have a lot of stories That have come out And things that we need to talk about And I'm not going to do the accent anymore

Even though it feels as if I'm going to do the accent But I'm not going to do the accent Yeah Are you going to do it? No Should we promise right here Right now

That we won't do it? Yeah I think if I promise That would be a right But That would be a complete right But I'll do my best Let's think if I promise that would be a right, but that would be a complete right. But I'll do my best. Let's promise. Okay.

I promise. Okay. Stand up. Yeah. What's going on right now? Okay. My honor is in this now. Honestly.

I said honestly I did I said it right good I know I know Everybody is like As it's gonna be crazy It's not crazy

Everybody needs to calm down I think y'all need to calm down Right Y'all are crazy Y'all are the ones That are taking it to The next level When you really think about it

Y'all got all this Fucking MSG Y'all been eating MSG What's all this energy That y'all got all this fucking msg y'all been eating msg what's all this energy that y'all got for no reason speaking of msg that shit makes anything taste delicious i didn't realize that wait have you tried msg before no I didn't realize. There's an actual flavor to it? Yo, my mom's been poisoning me for my entire life apparently because she seasons all her food with Sasson. And Sasson has MSG in it.

And Sasson is MSG. That's like the main ingredient in Sasson. So that's the reason why. Spanish food tastes delicious. And what about Chinese food as well? Yeah, that too. Yeah. Not all Asian foods have it though, not Korean.

They've been taking it out of some of them, but yeah. But they still maintain flavor. Yeah. That's interesting. It's been poisoning me my entire fucking life. MSG is the fucking thing. Yeah. I just found that out.

Did you know that, Akka? I did not know. I thought it was only in Chinese food. I didn't know that they put that in Spanish food as well. Sasson. Sasson. Stay away from the sasson That's another thing

We've been doing Spanish accents on this show forever And it's never a big deal Why are some fucking accents a big deal? It's just because this is hot right now But I just don't understand it We should be able to do the whole show I could do the whole show in an Irish accent and it's okay It's not a problem

Right? Because I'm white But if you did the whole show in an Irish accent Completely it's okay. It's not a problem. Right? Because I'm white. But if you did the whole show in an Irish accent, completely okay. Scottish accent. I can do the whole show in an Irish accent.

That was actually pretty good. Holy shit. What's up? I'm gay. Do that shit, son. That's all I know how to do. He's about to go to SNL, son. That's actually not bad.

All right, I'll take that. But if we're like, how you can do it in a Irish accent? You're naughty. But Irish people are poor take that. But if we're like, how you can do it, how are you sure? You're not even, but Irish people poor as fuck. They're getting mad turmoil. They got car bombs. They're going through hell over there.

Why can't I do that? Yeah, it's such a weird, arbitrary line. That's the thing. That's why people shouldn't have made it about the fucking, we should do the whole show in only accents today,

just to prove a point. You can do fucking accents. We really should have done the whole show. Should we start it over nope did you do the intro and accent did i you should have oh i think you did yo yo son we made a promise yo all right All right, I'm not doing no more. I'm not doing, hey, what other topics do we have? Big Ben's career is over? Big Ben's career is over.

I think so. You guys see this shit? Yeah. Wild. He's just throwing a pass and doesn't get hit. All of a sudden, he just grabs his right arm, walks off the field. Injury to his elbow? Stop it.

Get out of here. Turn his mic off, son. Stop. You're not turning mics off, son. What the fuck do you think this is? It's not a Saturday night rive. Wait, pussy. It is something

completely, like, I don't understand. We gotta get an agent on here to understand it. Like, just explain it to us. It probably triggers because, like you said, a lot of people made shitty Asian jokes their whole life. But to me, I heard a lot of shitty brown jokes. And when I hear a shitty brown joke, it's like, all right, that's whack, bro. It's just a whack joke. We understand what we're doing is low-hanging fruit.

We're aware of that, 100%. What kind of fruit? is low-hanging fruit. We're aware of that. 100%. What kind of fruit? I'm not doing it. It's low-hanging fruit. But purposely,

you must understand that. Sometimes it's fun to eat some low-hanging fruit. I'm with you. Bananas? That wasn't even... That was more Jewish. An idea?

A banana? I don't know nothing about Jews, bro. Anyway, let's get back. Let's get back on track. Okay. All right. It feels like we're going to make a fucking joke, and we're not going to make a joke.

We're saving it. Let's go back to what the fuck we're talking about. Big Ben, apparently. I think he needs Tommy John surgery. It's not worth it. It's too late. I think they say for football it's not as bad, but I just don't see you 37. It was a non-contact injury. I

just don't see you ever being the same. You could play, but you're not going to be the same. Get out of here. It's over. Get out of here. They got a young quarterback. I forget his name. Who the fuck do they have? They got a young quarterback. He might be alright though. I think he might end up being alright. He's not gonna be Big Ben, but I think he'll be alright.

Dude, while we're talking about Big Ben, I got a great rape joke, dude, that I thought of. I can't share it on thing, because I want to do it in. Big Ben used to rape. What? You didn't know that? He got a couple accusations under his belt. Really? I didn't know about that. He got the axe, bro.

He got the axe. He lucky he pre-Weinstein. He BW. He lucky. Can we be honest? Can we be honest? Let's be honest. I think we've been pretty honest. Antonio Brown,

is there a better organization at keeping the rape shit quiet than the Pittsburgh Steeler? If anything, they steal its women's ability to be the victim, to speak back. Because think about it.

You didn't hear shit about – now Antonio Brown got another one coming up. I think some Latina. I think it's the Raiders. They were just salty how he left. And so it's like, oh, word. We just release all your shit. Oh. Think about it.

Miko would probably agree with that. You should talk to Miko about that. See if she got the inside scoop. Yeah. See if you got that inside scoop. It's crazy how all these old shits are just popping up. Right. Yeah. I wonder if that's what it's like.

I wonder if it's like – I truly – we should ask a girl who's been raped if it's like – not who's been raped but it was like been part of the accusation thing. Like when another girl steps up, do you start to reconsider that moment? In other words, in your mind, are you like, ah, that was just a shitty night and maybe I put myself in a bad situation. But then when someone speaks up, you're like, oh, fuck, you know what? He did that to me too. Yeah. So like it's maybe they're not, maybe they're not like gold digging, whatever. Maybe they truly didn't see it in that light.

And then when another girl presented a similar situation, she's like, oh shit, he be doing this. Yeah, you're right. That is fucked up. I think there's something to, not all of them. Obviously there's someone's lying. You probably deny it to yourself to a certain degree

because you don't want to say like, I went through this or whatever. The trauma makes you. Oh, you were drunk. This is a random situation. Let me not make a big deal of this. And then you find out a bunch of people had the exact same thing.

You're like, oh no, this guy got to go. This guy. Cosby. I bet you. You don't think. That's a good point. Think about it. When one or two came forward, then fucking 40 more.

Yo, because I think someone tried to drug me, yo. You? Yeah. You didn't speak about this on the pod? No, I didn't. But we're not. Yeah. I think someone tried to drug me, bro.

Oh. I was in LA, and I had one drink, and I woke up the next day. I did all those podcasts. I was so out of it, B. I was like, my head was killing me. And I was like, did someone try to drug me and have sex with my body? Son, that shit was crazy. Son. me and have sex with my body this all makes sense the movie LA so so so my Yo, show me your feet, son. So, my point is I got one drink and I wake up in the morning excruciating headache for the entire day. That's weird.

Anus hurts. No, my anus was fine, son. I didn't get raped. I slept by myself on my boy's couch. I refused to get a hotel. That's what's couch. I refuse to get a hotel. That's what's up. I refuse to get, I don't care how successful I am,

I will stay in my boy Dove's couch every time I go to LA. Dove got a great spot. He got a good spot. And I get to hang out with my boy. Point is, that could happen with some of these girls. That's what I'm saying.

And I think that there's perspective. So what do you think is going to happen with AB? I think AB is good. I think that women really ruined the Me Too movement. And, you know, and it's just done. I think when there's a second accusation, we start looking at this shit like, oh. Each accusation is an extra, like, level of people being like, oh, we need to look into this. Do we have details on the second one?

I didn't hear about, like, what happened with the second one. Do you have details on the second one? I didn't hear about like what happened with the second one. You have details, Ed? I know it's going to take you 45 minutes to Google it, but if you could look it up and let us know before the end of the podcast. Patreon episode. Before the Patreon episode, let us know what happens. You think you can do that, Ed? Yo, you know what's mad funny? Do you subtitle the clips?

Yeah. Yo, it's mad funny when Ed and be miss misspelling shit or just choosing a wrong fucking word, but be confident about it. Yo, there's one. What was the clip? You got the clips from last week? Yeah, probably. It's too far back in my shit to like, look. Andrew, that's annoying ass motherfucker when when you're reading out loud in class,

and then you fuck up one word, and he's the asshole to point it out and start laughing at you. I will laugh at you. Oh, yeah, 100%. 100%. I think you should be. He got one clip from last week, and you just hold it down. No, I like to give Ed a hard time. Yeah.

I like it. But which one? I said. Coming on your best friend, or hit you so hard you become a rapist? Hit you so hard I Ed a hard time. Yeah. I like it. But which one? I said. Coming on your best friend or hit you so hard you become a rapist. Hit you so hard you become a rapist. I need to jerk off on someone and you did all of a sudden. Sorry. It's okay.

Infuriated. It is a very different thing. It is because jerk off on someone makes it sexual assault. All of a sudden it's just I'm just getting this out of my system. But what pissed me off was how much he capitalized and big he made sudden. It was almost like you wanted me to know that you had complete disregard for my joke. Do you know what I mean? Dude, it was unbereaveable.

I was infuriated. I'm not sure that isuriated I know It's okay It's okay I'm through it No it's fine Why didn't you tell me then It's fine

So okay What else we got What else we got here Alright There's a lot Yo the Steelers are whack Odell's watch We didn't really talk about

I don't know if you care Fuck that watch Do you see the DeMar Marcus Lawrence video where that little kid in the Giants jersey wanted an autograph and he just walked by him? Yo,

I'm not upset about that. That's the greatest shit ever, man. I like, yeah, tell me your thoughts on that because, so basically what happened is this little kid is waiting at the entrance to the game.

Stupid ass white boy. Yeah, what? Him being white made this worse to me. I don't know why, but it's like, yeah, you got on full fucking Giants gear and you're going to ask Demarcus Lawrence for an autograph? That's it. That's embarrassing, dog. He's like, yeah, first of all, your parents shouldn't even.

Demarcus Lawrence just walks by him, takes a quick glance, and then just goes, you got the wrong jersey on, son. So he's not saying he wouldn't give a kid an autograph. He's just saying, hey, you need to understand what loyalty is to your team yeah i'm gonna teach you why you should like your team and he kind of apologized later but his first response was you know what that kid gonna hear no a lot in his life you need to get used to it i like this that's the best dude i like this kid yeah the marcus lawrence dude he's great and i kind of apologized later he's like ah you I just, I was in game mode still, like, whatever. Maybe I'm being a pussy, but it's a kid, man. It's a kid.

Yeah, that's fine, but he can say no. This guy signs thousands of autographs probably a month. And I'm being, like, modest right now. He can say no to something. Yo, it's a kid, though. It's a kid. Yeah, fuck him. The kid, the only reason why he got that jersey on is because his parent got the jersey on.

Yo, his parent got the jersey on, bro. Yo, you wearing the jersey, son. Learn a lesson. Learn a lesson. This is what loyalty means. Oh, shit. You should learn a lesson. Yo.

You should. I'm just showing y'all how to flip-flop. We're going. Nah, bro, that's a lesson, dog. Yeah, learn a lesson, dog. You gotta be loyal to your team Word You got a team or you don't

You can't be out here Dis-royal Yo real talk It's a kid man Who gives a fuck dog Kids can learn lessons too Yeah They can learn lessons too

What if What if he would've gained The new fan right there By signing Who gives a fuck You don't need fans He got a hundred million dollars Yo

I need a new fan. I need one new little fucking eight-year-old fan. I think you want some fans. Nah, bro. He good. He could have gained another fan. He could have gained a fan. He could have gained a fan.

That would have been a good fan. And you know this kid's going to milk this shit. Saquon Barkley already gave him tickets to a game. He's going to be fine. He got tickets to a game out of it? Yeah, man. This is the shit white parents be doing. They be trying to vilify people and then their kid gets a bunch. He's going to be fine. He got tickets to a game out of it? Yeah, man. This is shit white parents be doing.

They be trying to vilify people, and then their kid gets a bunch of free shit. Oh, shit. How old do you think he is? Got to be like eight. He's eight years old? Yeah. He already seen four school shootings. This is the least tragic thing in his life.

You know what I mean? This is an eight-year-old American kid. We've seen some severe shit by his age. Yeah. Yeah, why are we feeling bad for kids? They don't go through way worse stuff in school teacher probably sucked his dick and butt do you know what i mean see man and butt and butt teacher stuck his dick and butt school shootings all the damn time and one no autograph and we gotta feel bad for him this is nothing that's light work you were just at a game that's not enough yeah you can't be happy about a fucking

game classmates are referred to as day yo bro day they and them and whatever like that. He don't even know who he's fucking talking to no more You know, he just wants an autograph Yo in school do they have genderless bathrooms say what in school? Do they have genderless bathroom? Yeah, like I would figure that's the first place it was like I don't even know no more bro There's this Sam Smith. You sam smith is no longer a gender that singer he's my fucking hype beast dog maybe trying to ride the wave yeah i guess you're right but you know what's crazy about when you become non-gender yeah you're not gay no more fam oh yo you right you got to be a gender to be gay you right oh so guess who's not gay

welcome back so that's some kissing that you can tolerate to be gay. You right. Oh, so guess who's not gay? Welcome back. So that's some kissing that you can tolerate. That's a good point, bro. I didn't think about that one. How do you feel about they kissing? Huh? They kissing.

They kissing is, to me, it's what I identify you as. That's what's up. Yeah, so even if I see some like tough lesbos kissing i'm kind of like why those dudes kissing you know what i mean like come on with all that these fucking resbians out

here doing that shit come on yo oh man yo uh i got an email from my agent And it said pronoun Her, she or whatever And I was like we're doing it all the way here now What was the pronoun? Her and she or whatever It's in the body of her email You know people got like their name And their title and their agency And the phone number and email

In the middle of all that is pronouns And then this is the pronouns you're supposed to refer to me as What? Is this with Gersh? Nah. Oh. What the fuck? I've never heard of this shit before.

Right. Do you have a female agent? Yeah. And she needs to- No, well, it's like the assistant or something or like, I don't know. I don't know if she's the assistant.

Son, this is just- Oh, fire that shit. She made it clear she's a female agent, actually. Son, I just don't- I don't get it. We need to have one on so we can understand it. I just don't understand i don't get it we need to have one on so we can understand

it i just don't understand it how do you feel like nothing how do you feel like nothing do you what do you feel like i don't know what i feel like i can't i don't i don't know that i feel inherently male i don't know wait so he's coming out as a they no meaning like i don't believe that you don't feel something because you don't know what it is to feel it. Like, you could say you're a dude, you feel like a woman. You don't know what a fucking woman feels like. How the fuck would you know you're not a woman? They're just saying I don't feel like a dude. Yeah.

Yo, who feels comfortable in their own skin? Like, this idea that motherfuckers are walking around feeling comfortable in their own skin, that's the most unique shit. That's why when you see a cool motherfucker, you're like, oh, my God, is he comfortable in his own skin that's the most unique that's why when you see a cool you're like oh my god is he comfortable in his own skin right that's that's what makes tom cruise tom cruise in a movie right maverick is like holy he's so comfortable in his skin it's a unique quality okay like being comfortable in your own skin is the rarest so all of us are trainees are trannies? Like, what is... Everybody say, I feel a little social anxiety,

I feel a little anxious, I feel a little uncomfortable. Like, nobody's just walking around feeling comfortable. Superheroes. And even they have an origin story that makes them feel all weird as shit. So this...

So we have this expectation, like, if you're not comfortable in your skin, you must be something else. No, you're just a person. That's life. Right? Not everybody's gonna be Will Smith. if you're not comfortable in your skin you must be something else no you're just a person that's life right not everybody's gonna be will smith i'm not arguing that was good i'm just saying right i don't got nothing we got this crazy we have this crazy um high we have this crazy high bar set for like what it is to be a human and since we all don't meet it we just check all

these boxes about what's wrong with us i'm sad i'm depressed i'm lonely i'm anxious it's like no that's what a person is you feel all these fucking things on a regular basis and you try to manage them to the best of your ability and hope that at the end of the year you came out a little bit in the fucking black most people are in the red but you hope you come out in the black. And that's success. Who throughout life, throughout the 5,000 years I mean your people have been around the long road and everybody. Have you ever heard any of them

write, oh yeah my whole life was blissful. Never. Has anybody throughout history read my whole life was perfect, easily, piece of cake, it was amazing. Yeah you're right. We're taking pills. Housewives are taking Prozac so they can feel good every day. Who the fuck Yeah, you're right. We're taking pills. Housewives are taking Prozac so they can feel good every day. Who the fuck told you you're allowed to feel good every day?

Every day? We need to cue that Kanye gospel music right now. He's preaching out here. Am I on to something? Yeah, to that point, though, people lost religion. So now they're just like, oh, I should always be happy. The whole point, religion always tells you, you're not always happy. Every religion tells you, you're not always happy.

Who the fuck do you think this is? And you should be grateful that you're not because that's how you can experience happiness. You're happy every day. You know what you'd be? Normal. Yep. Thank God you feel shitty. Because you get to feel great.

Thank God you feel heartbreak. Because you get to feel great. Thank God you feel heartbreak because you get to feel love. We're trying to fill the void that we used to have God filled with with 68 genders. Son. You know what gets me is how you look at a list of 62 genders and be like, nah, none of these. I'm this. It's like they made it so easy for you to be one. Yeah, bro. They made it so easy. It's choice paralysis at this point.

You know what it is? It's that machine where you can make your own type of Coke. Yeah. You know, it's like lime Coke, lemon Coke, vanilla Coke, cherry Coke. And you're looking at it like, that's not the fruit I want in my Coke. Yeah. Bro, it's enough. Who the fuck are you to be the 63rd gender?

And what would that mean? What does it mean? Yeah, bro, it's enough. Who the fuck are you to be the 63rd gender? Are you? And what would that mean? What does it mean? I need to talk to somebody. And it's not coming from a hateful place at all. It's truly coming from understanding. Please help me understand. Because I don't.

I just don't. I get anxious when I change my hairstyle Imagine cutting your fucking cock off your butt You know when you try a brand new hairstyle You're like oh my god I don't know if I'm gonna like this And you only gotta wait two weeks and it comes back But there's like nerves going through that They gotta be feeling some real shit To cut that thing right the fuck off

They gotta be feeling some real shit to cut that thing right the fuck off. They got to be feeling some real shit. But you got to be secure. You got to be positive. You don't want your dick. Let's put it out there. If any assholes that identify as

one of those other things. I'm talking about like the 60th gender. Yeah. I'm trying to work on a bit about this. If you identify as like an octopus or something like that,

just hit us up in the DMs and come on the show or call in. Call in. Call in for sure because he probably got mental on this. So let's call in. Damn, son. We're really going for it today. I know, right? We're really going for it today.

I'm trying to keep. That's what Shane should have said. He should have said, I identify as Chinese. Yo, that would have been a fucking move. You guys been saying that. Whenever you just start getting to backlash, just identify as that thing. You got to identify as it. I'm sorry.

I said this before. That's why I keep saying I'm gay. Smart. They can't say nothing. Bro, I'm out ahead of it. Son, you fuck one girl in your life. If that ain't the gayest shit, I don't shit my entire life. I know gay dudes fuck more women than me.

Facts. Mad gay dudes. Most of them. Yo i know gay dudes fuck more women than me facts mad most of them yo most of most gay dudes fuck more girls than you i'm gay yeah who's really gay yeah they out here slaying puss and you out here with one vagina on your fucking record gay that's gay bro the gayest super gay arkash the gay. I'm the gayest dude out here. Concerned about his weight. All the time concerned about his fucking weight. Manicured ass beard.

Word. White teeth as fuck. You stay manicured, though. You stay manicured. Got a nice watch. Bro, I'm gay, son. I don't know how many times I gotta tell you. Pretty ass eyes get cum filled in. Whoa.

I'm gay, son. I don't know how many times I got to tell you. Pretty ass eyes get cum filled in. Whoa. Son, I had a bar on brilliant idiots. We take brilliant idiots today, son. I really had a bar on brilliant idiots, bro. I think I figured out reincarnation, bro. Hit it.

I figured out reincarnation. Hit it. Didn't you have this thing? Ready? Here it is. This is reincarnation. You ready? I? Here it is. This is reincarnation. You ready? I'm ready.

Okay. You know how when people die, they say, I'm going to see the light. I see the light. You die, you see the light. Right. Right? Maybe that's not the light. Maybe that's you back inside all the sperm being busted out of a dick into an egg again.

But then how do you get back? Say what? They come back to life sometimes. I saw the light. I came back to life. You didn't make it to the egg. It wasn't your time. Not all the sperm make it.

The vast majority die. All of them. Like 99.999%. All of them die. Why don't we have that many near-death experiences? No, no. What I'm saying is

you die in real life. You see the light. You're just inside the sperm. You are part of them die. Why don't we have that many near-death experiences? No, no. What I'm saying is you die in real life. You see the light. You're just inside the sperm. You are part of the nut. You're part of that white fucking... He's valid. I mean, I can't disprove it. And it goes with reincarnation.

It goes with Joel. Yeah. And then when some people come back as like an animal or whatever like that, it stays true. Animals fuck each other. There's nut. Yeah. Tell me I didn't just figure out reincarnation. What happens when they see the light and come back to life?

That's what I was asking. In the nut and then came back into the person? Not all the sperm make it to the egg, fam. Yeah, but then how do they jump back in the person if they were in the sperm? You ever bust a nut and then a few later, some cum leaks out of your dick? Okay. Yes. That's them.

That's the ones that didn't swim. That's the one. They saw the light and they're like, I'm out. And then they just died. I'm trying, but you got to explain that one too. Saw the light. This is the theory really falls apart here. But the initial part is like. Yeah, I know. The initial part, I get one. Saw the light. This is the theory that really falls apart here, but the initial part is like you can't.

The initial part, I get it. Saw the light. Also, again, 99.9% of sperm doesn't make it, and there's not that many near-death experiences, so that's for the math. 100% don't make it. How do you know how many insects are? Oh, fuck.

How many mosquitoes die? How many all these little things die? Tons of little shit dies. Yeah, but they don't make it. Those guys all made it what I don't know man I'm just trying I think I figured out the beginning I didn't think about it but whatever the point was sports you know talk about some sports, man. You want to talk about Drew Brees or not?

Nah, what else we got, man? Tyson Fury fight. Oh, you watched it. Yep. Okay, so Tyson Fury fight. He fought this guy named Otto Wallen who did an amazing. He's admirable, man. Yeah, I thought he fought a great fight.

He did a little cheap shit where he tried to poke the cut that he made. Yeah, so in the third round, he lands a left hook on Tyson Fury's right above his eyebrow and immediately starts bleeding heavily. Opens up bad. Pussy lips, bro. So the fight at this point. Look at the gash, dude. It's like day three of a period. Look if you get a good version of the gash dude, it's like day three of a period what look if you get a good version

of the gash just fucking labia flopping around Look at that thing. Oh Yeah, oh yeah Yeah, the crazy yo, you're not wrong look like you're not wrong Pull out of a girl when you're fucking on a period. That's what that shit looks like If you're not a girl when you're fucking on a period, that's what that shit looks like.

Anyway, go on. So this fight, it just becomes Otto Wallen. Otto Wallen's only chance to win is this fight. This cut gets so bad that they stop the fight. Because it's caused by a punch. And if a cut is caused by a punch, it's considered TKO. If it's caused by a headbutt, then it's a no decision. Right.

So this could be. This is his only opening to win so he keeps just trying to go out the eye and tyson fury is definitely a better boxer than this guy and as the fight goes on out of on completely runs out of gas but now it's just this cool little chess matchup tyson fury trying to knock this guy out because he knows he doesn't have much time left before this cut gets really bad and they call the fight and now see tyson pushing tyson is and so tyson is going at him. And he'll throw a few punches, white blood from his eye.

There's blood everywhere. There's a shot of the referee who keeps trying to, like, so Tyson will throw some punches and then try to wrap up because he can't get hit in the eye. And when he's wrapped up, out of all, he'll just keep trying to throw little hooks in there. Now, Wallen did do some ill shit after the fourth round or fifth round. After the round, he, like like poked Tyson Fury's eye

to try to like make the cut worse. But other than that, he fought a great fight, man. Other than that, it was really admirable. Yeah, it's interesting when you see Tyson Fury against another heavyweight,

the heavyweight that he's in there with looks so tiny because Tyson Fury's 6'9". Yeah. Which is a massive, he's a massive fucking guy. And he can move. And he can move. And he can move.

He's like the Shaq of boxing. Really? Like he could play basketball. I'm shocked that he didn't play basketball because he has that kind of agility. But Otto Wallen looked incredibly tiny. He's probably 6'4". Yeah.

Right? 6'5". Like over 200 pounds easy. He's a physical guy. Yeah. But next to him, he looks minuscule. Yeah. And I thought he fought a good fight to him, he looks minuscule. Yeah.

And I thought he fought a good fight. I think he actually has a future in boxing. Yeah, I think he just ran out of gas in like the sixth round and Fury didn't. He wasn't skilled enough to beat Fury, but Fury's the best in the business right now. I think that Wallen can be really effective

against some of the lesser guys in the division. I'll be honest, a great fight might be Wallen versus Andy Ruiz. Both throw a lot of punches. Both counterpunch really well. They engage. Ruiz isn't that hard a puncher. He's fast, but he's not that hard a puncher. Wallen isn't that hard a puncher,

but he counterpunches well. I think that fight is fun. When is that rematch? Ruiz-Joshua? Joshua is going to be in Saudi Arabia, and I'm not exactly sure when. I'll get that. I'll get that date. But what's actually good about what's Tyson Fury fighting these guys and I know everybody's

like just fight Wilder again and they're going to fight again if Wilder gets by Ortiz. But what it does is it promotes other fighters in the heavyweight division and if they come to fight, now we have some more people we're kind of interested in in the heavyweight division. This guy's kind of interesting. If he fights another name, I'll watch. Yeah. He showed some balls. Yeah. You know?

But it was cool to see Tyson Fury have like intensity and like purpose. Yeah. Does he normally not fight like that? No, he does. But he can dance and he can move around. But this was like, oh, shit. A sense of urgency. There was urgency.

Yeah. I need to get this guy out of here. Yeah. I need to finish this guy. And he was fucking going for it. Yeah. And he was swinging way more. He's usually kind of like a slick boxer.

Yeah. And this one, he was going for it. Yeah usually kind of like a slick boxer yeah and this one he was going for it yeah and uh yeah i love it he's had two exciting fights outside of wilder where he fought no-name guys ah but he made news with them yeah and like specifically targeted fans like he came into the room uh came to the ring wearing a sombrero it was mexican independence day yeah apparently somebody else backed out of a fight and he was supposed to fight three weeks later and he said i'll fight on mexican independence day because he knows he the last fight how'd he come in the ring american

paulo creed yep and now he comes into the ring mexican he's going after the biggest fans in boxing and he said call me ld instead of the gypsy. Is he a gypsy for real? That's wild, dog. He's got a caravan in his back where they just drive off and do some shit. That's wild. It's like part of his culture. He like reps the culture heavy, but he's also like English and acknowledges that that's, you know, who he is and what he represents as well. But they call themselves travelers. Gypsy is like a bad term, I guess.

He calls himself the Gypsy King though. Right. So he's like i can call myself that oh okay and he's like you guys can say it but don't call a gypsy a gypsy call them a traveler ah but this is just some like everybody needs their derogatory term yeah they can be offended by yeah but good fight man and i don't normally like get super into boxing because i don't get a lot of it at a high level. But it was just fun to watch that little chess master. He got to finish this guy off.

And he's going for it. And this guy got nothing left. But he's just swinging however he can. And then in the last round, he almost knocked Fury out. Did you watch the last round? I did, but I didn't see it. He landed some punches on Fury. Fury was shaking.

Fury wasn't really throwing. It got a little exciting at the end. He might do this get out of here I'm not lying but it was easy victory for Fury he definitely won

after about the 5th 4th round Fury won every round maybe the last one I think Valen won but then every other round went to Fury

in between interesting alright there was a good MMA fight did you see Gaethje vs. Cowboy Cerrone I did not

so this kid Justin Gaethje is they call him the most violent man in the MMA. And it's a violent sport. Right. And he just has a ferocious style, man. He comes straight in, wants to connect, wants to fight.

And it was really interesting because they're friends outside the ring. Right. And they had this beautiful moment after it. Gaethje knocked him out. And right here in this picture, he's pointing at the ref. And he says, fuck you to the ref. Because Cerrone was out. He was on the ground, but he was pretty much out.

But the ref didn't stop the fight. So he's like, he's looking at the ref like, stop the fight. So he has to punch his friend more times in the head after he's already been concussed. So he's like, fuck you. Do your fucking job. The guy's face first that's kind of dope it's dope but afterwards dude they had this really cool moment where cowboy he's older and he was like you know this kid's a great kid and like yeah you know the roof is yours go

for it this at the other they were like really they had i don't know they had this great kind of connection it was it was fucking awesome to see two guys go in there give it their all to knock each other out and then afterwards like just be supportive

yeah it's like no ego yeah and it'd be really cool to see this kid right here fight Conor McGregor that's the fight

I want to see why's that cause this kid is not gonna wrestle Conor Conor is boring when you watch him against wrestlers yeah and they're just going to throw blows and this kid can knock you out with one punch and connor can knock you out with one punch and one of them is going to land and then when they land it's going to be night night is connor done he might be might

not be it's like he's planning a comeback. Then he breaks his foot. He punches an old man. Punches an old man in the fucking head. Like there's, there's, there's messed up shit. But I'm, I'm interested in seeing that fight because just as like a boxing fan,

it's like, they're, they're going to kick a little and they're going to throw hands. Ain't going to be no wrestling. Ain't going to be no like jujitsu. It's just, let's throw haymakers and see who fucking connects. It's almost like bare-knuckle boxing.

Yes. Almost. Yes. Bare-knuckle is a little brutal, but yes. Yeah. It's a little less brutal. Yeah. So it would be cool. It would be cool to see.

There's some interesting fights. How big do you think this guy can be? I don't know. We'll see if his personality carries him. At the end of the day, it's personality. Yeah. It's like I was doing this guy Logan Paul's podcast. I'm just going to talk about it.

Oh, yeah. He just had a fight. So Logan Paul has this fight coming up against KSI. Didn't they box one before? No, I think it happened already. No, November. They just had the press conference for it. And they basically have this fight and it really proves that fighting is not about skill.

It's about story. Yeah. And they both had the platforms to sell their own stories. Right. So they sold the beef and they packed down Arena. Now they're doing it at the Stable Center. That's wild, dude. Keep in mind, the Stable Center is bigger than where tyson fury just fought probably

that's so wild it is a massive gate yeah so here they are fighting they i think i imagine they just stream it on youtube or some shit like that yeah youtube a pay-per-view youtube it's pay-per-view youtube but it's smart because all your fans are already on yeah pay-per-view they're invested in your life so much because you're youtube so they're going to want to see you fight and you just create the highest stakes. And it's, it's genius. It's like fighting is a way that we want to see disputes settled.

It's like vendettas at the end of the day. Yeah. You have a beef. Well, let's settle it. And you can't talk shit afterwards. Yep. But it just goes to show you don't need the skill.

You need the story and they're fucking selling the story god damn so who are you gonna fight Akash? who are we gonna have you go up against? son you gotta give me

somebody little who are you gonna fight? Mr. YouTube give me like a Z's I got that you know I sparred for the first time in a while the other day

yeah and I we weren't going to the head because I didn't have headgear but I was like at this kickboxing class and for the first time in a while the other day yeah and i uh we weren't going to the head because i didn't have headgear but i was like at this kickboxing class and for the first time i was i was like experiencing what sparring was with kicks as well and um i got caught a few times but i was actually able to use the kicks a little bit too and it it was, I remember it's so weird. It's like when you're doing stuff on the bag or the pads, you know, you're like trying to be calculated.

But there is a switch that I have that like, dude, it's hard to describe, but like I was kind of in my comfort zone again. Like I remember fighting and like I remembered being in there and like what's the switch it's not a switch of a of like uh primal aggression i was kind of smiling like i'd get touched and i'd be like all right that was good i was able to kind of stalk a little bit and granted we're not going to the face so i literally i'm have to block my body and i can block my body just like with the philly shell a little bit and like catch punches, et cetera. But like I was able to, you know, get the jab, pump the jab out there, work the body

a little bit and then land a couple of, you know, kicks. But it, I remember the first time I sparred in the, the sheer terror that I experienced. And then over the, over the years, like slowly developing a comfort and an understanding and like no matter how hard someone punches when they hit the bag and they hit the pads, when they're sparring, it's a different game. Yeah. The bag don't hit back and neither do the pads. Right. When something is in front of you and it hits back, it changes you for most people. It changes you.

Your footing is off. When your footing is off, you can't really turn on your punches. It's not as much power. It's a whole different game. And yeah, it was just – it was fascinating to be back in that. I don't think it's healthy. I don't want to make a habit of it. I think getting hit in the head sucks especially.

I've had enough concussions. I don't want to do too much of it. But it is fun every once in a while to be in the highest stakes that you can. It's – one of the great things about jujitsu, Ronnie Chang, comedian, pointed this out to me. He goes, one of the great things about jujitsu is it's one of the few things in life where you can go your hardest at and not hurt somebody. Like fight sports. Like I can't go my hardest boxing you and either you not hurt me or me not hurt you. We're going to get hurt.

But with jiu-jitsu, you can go your hardest to get them in a position. And the second they're about to tap, you let go. But you actually get to put full effort. Yeah. Yeah. You let go. But you actually get to put full effort. Yeah.

And it is, it is a, it's really unique that way. Name a fight sport where you get to do full, maybe wrestling, but even wrestling doesn't have stakes in terms of breaking a bone or breaking a ligament. Yeah. Yeah. That makes perfect sense. You know? But yeah, it's a thing, man. We should all, we should all get in like – we should all take a kickboxing class.

I'm with it. Or something like that. Dude, it's – and even just like – dude, even just after we take a few months of the class, I work out at this place called Tiger Schulman's. Great gym, like really cool people that work there. And even just feeling what it's like to just kind of like – and I'll work with you guys. Just feeling what it's like to kind of like throw punches and have punches thrown at you. It's a different world. It's a completely different – like when you see street fights, you just see these guys swinging these big punches.

That's because they don't think they're going to get knocked out. You throw a lot differently when you think you could get caught. You know what I mean Like the drunk punch Is when you're drunk Right When you're sober You're like Alright what's he throw

Yeah You know What are we working with here Right I don't know Al Did you feel that at all When you were doing karate and shit I would

It's almost like I left my body When I was being sparring Like I remember There was like One tournament actually that it kind of felt that I was looking at myself fighting. It was fucking insane. It was kind of weird.

What do you mean, though? Like, I don't know. I just used to It just used to be so instinctual. Yeah. It is crazy. That's what I was shocked. Thinking, it's almost like... I haven't done this for 12 years or 13 years where I haven't like sparred, right?

And this wasn't even heavy sparred. But like I was shocked at the instincts kick in. There was a moment where a guy threw a kick and I didn't tell myself to catch the kick. But I just lifted my leg and caught the kick. Like, but that's instinct. And I haven't even been working that that much to catch it. And I remember back when I was boxing, this is when I started to realize, and it does kick in. I was back when I was boxing.

This was a long time ago. We were at a house party and someone threw a cup at me, right? And the cup was flying and I saw the cup flying and I swear to God, I know this sounds crazy. I saw it in slow motion and I just slipped my head to the side and the cup went over my shoulder. And it's only because I'd been in the gym constantly in the ring seeing guys throw punches and like being used to fast things coming at me and just like – because remember, to miss a punch – this is what people don't realize. Your fist is small. Because remember, to miss a punch, this is what people don't realize.

Your fist is small. To miss a punch, you're literally moving your head two inches. And you don't come close to me. The fear is if I don't get my head away two inches. The genius of Floyd is I will stay right in front of you. And I'll move my head this far. And then you won't be able to touch me. Another thing that's funny, it's like we travel with Mark. And mark has never fought never sparred and you can actually tell because like when we scare him

his it's not like defenses go up he just like crumbles it's like you know yeah and he's an athlete yeah like he comes he presents his athletic but it's a different but it's a different level of like. Like me, my first instinct is hands up for defense. And I'm just ready for whatever's coming. It's just different. And that's all instinctual. And it's like your posture is karate based. Yeah.

My posture is boxing based. And kickboxing is even different. The second I'm moving around with somebody, I don't square up my body. I make my body quite – I guess this would be – how would you describe that? Perpendicular to you? Yeah, perpendicular, yeah. Right? Because in boxing –

Smallest target. Smallest target, right? But in kickboxing, that's a disadvantage because once I have my body perpendicular, you can kick my back leg out. Right. And to get this leg all the way over to you. Right. You know what I mean? It's different.

But boxing is similar to karate where you're totally on the side. But here's the thing with boxing. You can bend down to block a punch. You don't do that in kickboxing because they'll kick your fucking head right off of your shoulders. You see Floyd do that thing where he goes like this and bends down. Do that in kickboxing, and a guy will just send a foot right into your mouth. So it's like little shit that I'm learning. Anyway, we should all do that.

We should all go to a month of classes and just fucking tap around. Dude, it is, one, it's exciting as fuck. It feels like you're on stage. I'm with it. You know how when you're on stage, I don't know if you feel this way. Even if you had the worst day for that time, your brain can be off of it. That's what sparring feels like. Yeah, I never sparred.

I only did the class for a couple months, and then I just didn't spar. Which podcaster or YouTuber wants to fight? Let's go. It was funny. When I was doing the Logan Paul podcast, he's a big kid. Like, he's muscular, and he's strong, and he's naturally athletic. You can see it. And I remember watching him because he had done, I think, some MMA in high school. So he has, like, a background.

But I'm curious to watch the fight to see what kind of skills. Which is, like, do one of those watch things? Yeah. Maybe we go. I was telling one of those watch things. Yeah. Maybe we go. I was telling him, if I'm in LA, I'll go. When is it? November? November. Yeah, man. It's an interesting... We got to do it.

We got to do a little training. We got to get in the gym a little bit. I try to do it on the road. We try to hit the gloves on the road. It's hard because we're going. Every day. But we got a new rule on the road so we don't get fat. What's that? 100 push-ups, 200 sit-ups before we leave the hotel room. Can't leave the hotel room without 100 and 200. Haven't thought of it yet.

Yeah, we haven't started it yet. We'll see. We'll see in Australia. Yeah. Anything else, Akash? The LeVar vs. Lonzo. We can save this for Patreon, actually. There's a few we can save for Patreon.

LeVar vs. Lonzo, James Harden, Rich Paul. Um, well, there's also, uh, yeah, LeVar versus Lonzo. Yeah. You seen the video? No. Can you explain to me? We want to watch it. What is it?

It's like a minute and a half of LeVar and Lonzo arguing about Big Baller brand. Lonzo says, you can change the name of the company. And LeVar, which I like, he's like, no, I i'm not changing the companies the three b's are the three ball boys bbb we're not changing that and then him and him and lavar just start arguing about like lavar is like lonzo's like the company's done and he's like it's not done what are you talking about and then he lonzo lavar says some shit to lonzo about how like i made you a superstar. You know, your game has been weak for a couple years or something like that. And that's why the brand is struggling.

Whoa. It gets nasty. We might need to watch the full and then maybe take a Patreon. It's a Facebook show. Oh, so they'll fuck it. Yeah, they might have a little. God damn it. We got to find a workaround for that.

What about this? Just don't monetize. What about James Harden looking thick Oh you've seen the Speaking of boxing That's the segway Speaking of boxing Here's James Harden hitting the pads He's just looking a little

Scrumptious Yeah he just don't look like an NBA player necessarily But he's always been like that That's what I thought I've never seen him like I never thought he was in shape But people are really Trolling him for this video

Oh yeah the back is jiggling a little bit dude yeah but to me he always been like that yeah yeah he's always been a little soft in the in the mid section yeah you know what he's actually doing a decent job of standing his toes his balance is completely off if you notice no power on the punches yeah i mean he probably tired because he – He did a little thing, a little bit of exercise. But it's fascinating to see how wildly uncoordinated – OK. So he looks like a girl fighting in a pool, right? Doesn't he look like that, right?

Now, he is arguably one of the most coordinated human beings on the planet. Yeah. But he can't throw punches to save his life, right? Muhammad Ali, my dad used to interview Muhammad Ali a lot. He would cover boxing for NBC. He said Muhammad Ali was the perfect athlete. I mean you couldn't – nobody had that kind of like hand-eye coordination, foot speed at that height, weight. I mean it was just unbelievable.

He threw like a girl. Really? He couldn't throw a football. you mean like throw yeah and my dad was like shocked he couldn't believe that you could be so gifted physically and then not be able to just throw a baseball it seems like the most or throw a football it seems like the most well you like threw from his chin. You know how like girls be throwing

where they got no coordination whatsoever, you know? And, but here's a perfect example. Like James Harden, you think, oh yeah,

you know how to throw punches. No. I mean, you see him, Floyd plays basketball all the time. I'm not impressed when I watch him play.

But he doesn't look uncoordinated. Yeah. Does he? He looks a little bit. Does he to you guys? Yeah. He looks a little goofy to me.

Like, really like jerky it's like a rabbit playing basketball it's not fluid at all it's like all effort

it's like he's so effortless in the ring and then on a basketball court you can tell he's the quickest person on the court it makes so much sense it's just like a rabbit

like a jackrabbit just hopping around court yeah it's like how do I make up for the fact that I'm not as good at this I'll just use all elite

athleticism. His release is just like a, I don't know, it's just like. Same with Manny Pacquiao. He looks absurd. Yeah. On the court. But yeah, James Harden need to lay off that fucking Nando's or whatever. But has he?

No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. Because he's been like that and he's fucking a scoring machine. I wonder if he lost weight, would he be a better defender? Would he not be tired at the end of games? Some people are just comfortable. So here's a question. You see him towards the end of the season,

especially towards the end of the playoffs. Against the Warriors two years ago in particular, Game 7. Game 7, you're missing 20 straight threes. If you're 10 pounds lighter, are you as tired over the course of the season? Specifically your legs. Specifically your legs. So there was the guy who started Nike. What was his name?

Phil Knight. Phil Knight. So when he was developing these sneakers, right? There's a movie called Prefontaine or Pre or something like that. Yeah, I think it's just Pre. And he was working with runners at Oregon. And when he was developing these sneakers, he calculated the weight. And he was like, well, if I can get a sneaker to weigh 8 ounces instead of 12 ounces, that's four less ounces they'll have to carry for –

Every single step. Every single step for 10,000 steps or whatever it was to run a mile. And he'd be like, huh, OK. That means that you'll be that amount – you'll have that amount of better cardio without improving your cardio. So if you can't make your sneaker weigh less, you could make your pecs and your stomach weigh less. You could make your back weigh less. It would be interesting to see what happens. But the other question is if he loses some

of that physicality or loses some of that size can you take the punishment it's another question and he's yeah he's also punishing on offense like he can body yeah yeah he could get in there he could work you and it's like barely handle that can you handle going to the basket and getting fouled and like and can you dole out as much punishment? Of course. Because there's fat strength. You know what I mean? You lose weight. Suddenly you get a little weaker.

And now you're going to the basket and you're getting pushed around when you go to the basket instead of you pushing people around. I still think it would be worth it to try at least losing 10 pounds. I don't know. He's kind of been this way. He's a great. So I know we said this with Chrisul and maybe it didn't work out and but there is a world maybe where you try to limit a james harden to a 30 minutes a game 33 minutes a game

and then in that off time you just let westbrook go nut yeah and you basically tell westbrook hey do your best to facilitate you're gonna have 12 have 12 minutes a game, which is nut time. And we want you to go nut. And we want you to take whatever shot you want. Just the other time when you're on the floor with James, be that elite facilitator. You still get your triple-double.

Son, you're going to get your triple-dub. Just a few less points, a few more assists. Still get in there and rebound there was a did you guys see the convo

we should probably get out of here soon but did you see the convo about that Harden was upset that he didn't win MVP this keeps bubbling up

and he's like it's all a media narrative and he brought up something that was quite interesting which was I had

you know 50, 30-point games, two 50-point games. I averaged a triple-double. I did all these things and it's like, how do I not win MVP? Because the media decided

who was going to win MVP from the beginning. And while it's an interesting argument and he did have more impressive scoring, he did it at a lower percentage. Like lower shooting percentage? Yeah, so John, so it's like,

what would you really want? Do you want more points at a lower clip or less points at a higher clip? I would almost always go for the latter. Which is? Less points at a higher clip. Right, 26 a game at 56%.

That's great. Shooting over 30 a game at... 42%. 43%. Yeah. I kind of agree. Yeah. And also Giannis is a better defender.

Yeah. So if we're giving MVPs, it's got to go both sides, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That means half the game. James Harden always has a case for offensive... The best offensive player in the league.

Right, but it is half the game to fucking play defense. MVP is based on numbers? Harden, every year, based on scoring. Because you can't really calculate defense like that. You can't. And since it's not a stat, nobody fucking works on it. Yeah. And if there was a stop stat,

or like, you know how they have in football, hurries. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If they had a stat for a player trying to score on you and then he put a denied stat. Yeah, denial stat. Denial stat, something like, or forced bad shot stat. I bet you would see these stat nerd players lean into. All players. All players are motivated by stats.

I think the greatest, greatest are the ones that are like, no, I'm going to focus on defense because I want to win. Because I. All players. All players are motivated by success. I think the greatest greatest are the ones that are like, nah, I'm going to focus on defense because I want to win. Because I want to win. And that's what separates the greatest players from the really good players. Because sometimes

they get used to not winning. Maybe. You can fucking get used to not winning. You know what? That makes a lot of sense. As scary as it is, you fucking get used to it.

You get comfy with your salary. You get comfy with your life. You find joy in other things and you just accept, I'm not going to win a championship and fuck if that isn't scary. Yeah, bro. And do you think Harden is there?

I don't know. I just don't see him working on the stuff I feel like he should be working on. Like a one-legged three is great. That's dope. How about two-legged D? Yeah, how about two-legged D? How about you win more games in the playoff?

You know what I mean? Like, what are you doing for that? Yeah. I don't ever hear him talking about that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, look, guys, this has been another episode of Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets Analysis by Astros Watercooler Conference for your sports news.

We will see you for the Patreon episode this Friday. And what? Post-roll. Oh, no, no, no. No post, no post. No, no. I did? Post-roll. Oh, no, no, no. No post, no post. No, no. I did two in a row. Oh, sorry.

So we're recording the Patreon episode on Tuesday. And then that's going to come out Friday. And then we will be away. Alex and I will be away next week. I'm sorry, this weekend, next week. And then we'll all be back the following week, but the episode will come out a little bit late that Tuesday because we'll probably be recording Tuesday day.

Okay. So Akash next week, Kaz next week, maybe some guests. I think next week, Patreon, you're going to get the history of hyenas in here. The hyenas are coming through for Patreon. We're going to get wild. So, hey man, just enjoy. Have the most fun. We obviously wish we could be here.

You know, if we're awake and you guys are recording, we'll give you guys a phone call. No doubt. Shoot us a text maybe if we're up for whatever reason. No doubt. We can just say what up to y'all. But love y'all, man. Tune the fuck in. Enjoy.

And yeah, always keep it tight, man. Peace. Thank you.