Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - SCHULZ GOT MARRIED: the Bachelor Party episode | Flagrant 2 with Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf #Flagrant2 #AndrewSchulz #AkaashSingh #AlexxMedia

What's up everybody? Welcome to Flagrant 2. It's the future. Oh. It's the future right now. What do you mean? Right now, it's December 8th. Okay. When we're recording this. Yeah, yeah.

But this is coming out. Is it the 7th? Yeah. I need to run my shit back. I don't even have the time right on this shit. Come on. I just be wearing some flex. Hey, you in the future. You in the future or the future? I'm in the future. The future.

The eighth is lit. So this is the 21st this is coming out on? Yeah. Okay. Now, I got to tell you guys, I don't know exactly what we're doing today, but you guys have a game plan for me now that I'm officially married. Is that correct? Yes.

Yeah. Correct. Well, this is technically your bachelor party. Congratulations. Thank you so much. So we're having a bachelor party after the wedding. We're recording it before, though. Yeah, I mean, we're doing it before.

So you're just going to see it after. By the time you see this, Andrew will be married. Right, but we're having a flavored bachelor party. Is that real, that necklace? Son, obviously. Come on, dog. Oh, I didn't know you had a fucking Cuban bust down. Come on, dog.

What are you talking about? Bust down, son. Okay. I am in these streets, dog. I guess. All right, so tell me what this game is. What are we playing? This is what I need't know you had a fucking Cuban bust down. Come on, dog. What are you talking to, bro? Bust down, son. Okay. I'm in these streets, dog. I guess. All right, so tell me what this game is. What are we playing? This is what I need to know.

Yo, by the way, everybody who hit me up and I didn't hit you back because of, you know, I'm on vacation or whatever like that, or what is it called? Honeymoon? Yeah. I just want to say thank you guys so much. This is assuming everything goes well. This is assuming everything goes well. Some horrible shit could happen.

Who knows? Nah, bro. I got my new, I got my new, my new forsh oh you got the forsh well now i will have the forsh that's it that's it so but god forbid i get into a horrible car accident on the way up to the wedding not jettas are safe say what yeah i got a volkswagen spacer you know and i and i and i actually justify like like this. I have a Volkswagen Speedster, but it is a real Speedster. The other day, we were in your friend's Maybach.

What was it called? The GLS Maybach? It's a Maybach, right? I thought they were singing. A Maybach SUV? It was a Maybach SUV. But it was really a Mercedes GLS. Oh, yeah.

The one that sat three people only? Yeah, sat three people only, right? Two lazy boys in the back. But here's the thing. It's a Mercedes, right? But people call it a Maybach, but it's a Mercedes. Do you know what I mean? Why can you call it that?

Because Mercedes owns Maybach, right? No, this reach is crazy. No, this reach is crazy. I'm about to make it happen. I'm about to bring it back. I'm about to bring it back, right? So Mercedes owns Maybach, right? It's the same thing.

The car is the same model as the jls right no wait for it does mercedes not own maybach yes or no it's a part it's like make the point before you shoot all right it's like a brand within mercedes it's like saying a toyota's a lexus yeah yeah that's what you're trying to do right now lexus yeah but that don't make a toyota a lexus no i'm not saying it does okay because i'm not claiming to have a porsche i never said i had a porsche i got a speedster you see what i'm saying my shit ain't a porsche but it's a speedster just like this this like this fucking car right there that gls i got it i got it on a jetta my shit what kind of speedster you got it's a bug bro it's a volkswagen bug is back in the day my shit is

vince it's vintage so what i'm saying is i got a vol Speedster. That's what I have. Now, who owns Porsche? Say it with your chest. I don't know. Volkswagen. Volkswagen. Daddy's home. Daddy's home. Y'all got your little baby Porsches.

When daddy come through, I got the real deal. You know what I'm saying? Daddy's home. Daddy's home. Daddy's home. Say what? Daddy's home. Daddy's motherfucking home. Yeah. You know what I mean? And this is a real Bow Wow Dewey. Daddy's home. Daddy's motherfucking home. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And this is a real Bow Wow Dewey. Oh, yeah. I got the real Bow Wow Silky on my head right now. You can be like

Bow Wow right now. This is you in front of the plane. Hey, hey, hey. Be the man you want to be in the world. Whoever said that. Denzel Washington said that.

Be the man you want to be in the world. Yeah, you made that up, dude. You know what I mean? Be the change you want to see in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You pretending you got a private you flying in coach. I don't know. I just tried to gel out a shoot on to be in the world. Yeah, you made that up, dude. Be the change you want to see in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You pretending you got

a private, you flying in coach. I don't know, I distracted y'all out of shooting me, though. Stupid old shit. Why'd he get a gun, yo? I got a motherfucking speedster and I only got nothing else besides that.

You have a wonderful Jetta speedster. No, no, I got a speedster. It's not a Jetta. Damn, bro. Damn, bro. That was God. No, but for real.

I got a Volkswagen speedster. That's how reliable his. For real. I got a Voltwagon Speedster. I got a vintage Voltwagon Speedster, but it's just a Speedster. I don't got to say nothing else about it. I ain't got no Porsche decals on it. I do. I got to say something else about it. That shit is a motherfucking bug. You got a love bug.

You had to give back your Tesla. Yeah, fuck that Tesla. Ha, ha, ha. Should have got a fake Tesla. Yeah. You should have got a Leaf. You should have got a fake Tesla. Yeah. You should have got a Leaf. You should have got a Nissan Leaf. Hey, son.

Something actually works. That's my next car. You had to give back your Tesla. I gave that shit back. Exactly. So you're talking all that shit. You don't even got a car. That was Dove's Tesla.

Uber riding motherfucker. Yeah. Dove found a way to give it to his ass. And then that shit didn't work for him. Now he got to give it back. I gave it back. No money. No money.

Got no money for it. This is ST. I came out on top, bro. No money. Got no money for it. This is S.E. He actually came back on top. Wait a minute. How'd you come back on top? Because normally when you release back early, you got to pay thousands of dollars. Okay. I did it without paying anything.

Why? How'd you do it without paying anything? I don't know. I just complained the right way. I said, listen, man. I was doing business as a Jewish dude. They said, say no more. Respect.

Just bring it back. It's all good. So you had to pay no money to give away your tesla correct and dove had to pay at least three months of payments to give it to you yeah yeah plus deposit plus deposit he came out of that you truffled doug i truffled doug doug i'm wow i'll take truffle out this bitch wow but when dove found out he's like wait do I get any money back that's the first question you want some of his money yeah I'm my nothing bro

nah but he came out you came out yo honestly I think there's a point to be made hey that's cool that's cool I got not given

no money back nothing no rebates the audacity to ask me for money for what of nothing I got back nothing

but you should've if I made money you should've you should've had to pay three thousand. You should have. If I made money. If I had to pay $3,000, you got to give him half of those savings. Half. You give him half? I didn't.

He didn't give me no pussy. I didn't give him half. He didn't give me no pussy. I'm going to give him half. Facts, bro. I like what you're saying, Andrew. You should have got that post up. Like, yo, boy.

You know what I'm saying? I'm right now in a beach in Brazil trying to avoid the convo. That's what I'm doing right now. My girl like, what's up with that post nut? I'm like, drink another coconut, girl. We don't talk about post nuts. Not until we back. You know what I mean?

And you're pregnant. You can't go nowhere. Oh, it's like that? Okay. What? No, make it happen. Soon you can, dog. Dude, we don't talk about the post nut until the post nut.

Oh! Bam, bam, bam! Make it happen. Soon you can, dog. Dude, we don't talk about the post nut to the post nut. Okay. Talk about this game while I shoot Miles in the side of his fucking face. All right. So we got a list of words. We got a list of words. If anyone says them, then everyone's got a drink. Can we go to the wide and show Mark?

We were just complimenting on how amazing he looks in his fucking tattoos, son. He looks amazing in the tattoos. And Al, I like the Casablanca jacket. I'm just giving out compliments right now because I'm married. But the Casablanca jacket's fire as fuck. I don't know why you went with the sweaties with it. I was going for comfort.

But the Casablanca jacket, fire. I like that shit. Akash? Hey, bro, I tried. Dove, we got... Akash, what is this outfit, bro? I had three minutes to put this shit together. No, you didn't. Didn't we talk about this yesterday?

Yeah, but what I've been doing. I've been in the hospital. Oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. Well, you didn't have to make it all sad. Why you gotta make it all sad? Wow.

You said what you've been doing. Yeah, because we make fun of each other on the podcast. I know. Lie. I said I've been busy. You've been lying about your car. We didn't know about your car until recently. About your car. No, I told you so I had to leave idiots early. I said I've been busy. You've been lying about your car. We've been lying about your car until recently.

No, I told you I had to leave idiots early. I got to get back to Tesla. But no, in all seriousness, I think y'all look very good. Miles, you actually did make an effort today. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he's got the full tracksuit. Literally full tracksuit and matching cons with it. Yeah, you got the match suit. He actually has a fit on today. I've never seen you pull together a fit. First one of 2021. I love these Florida boys in New York.

They get swag and shit like that. Bing bong. Bing bong is so lit. We need motherfuckers from Side Talk on the podcast. Yeah, let me hire them. There's a few more rules a few more rules for the game yeah if you touch your face you gotta take a sip oh fuck if you see someone touch it you gotta call them out they gotta take a sip okay if you have if you have to drink with

your non-dominant hand if you pick it up with your dominant hand you gotta take another drink if your joke bombs you gotta finish your whole drink oh god oh God. Oh, shit. Fuck, we not even going to shoot. Yeah. Oh, no. I'm supposed to surf later today, too? Yeah. Imagine I drown because I'm so drunk tonight here

and y'all are the ones that actually killed me. Damn. R.I.P. You're going to drown in a wave pool? Don't blame us because you're junk bombed.

Yeah. Fuck. All right, so I got to come with some real good shit. The wedding will be the memorial. Yeah. That's a good idea. Does he get a fucking shot?

Does he drink his whole drink for that fucking joke? I'm drinking right now. You might not drink it all right. You got to drink your whole drink for that joke. You got to drink a heavy sip. Okay, there you go. Oh, God. Oh, the truffle is gone. The truffle is fucking gone.

And he wants to re-up? Oh, my God. Come here. Oh, should I get out of my seat to serve you? You're off camera Okay, let's go all right right. Where is your defense system now? Okay, didn't bomb. First one's good. All right. Yeah, we got it.

We got it. Okay, got some momentum. Okay, go. All right. Those are the rules of the game. Those are the rules. Yeah. And there's a hidden list of words.

So if the word is said, the miles are out. We'll flag it, and then you got to drink. Oh, shit. Okay. Now, can the people at home play this with us? Yeah, of course. If you're watching, you should be drinking. Pour it up.

Okay, good. And then same rules apply to you guys as well. All right, go. Hit it. No, now can the people at home play this with us? Yeah, of course. If you're watching, you should be drinking. Pour it up. Okay, good. And then same rules apply to you guys as well. All right, go. Hit it. No, so that's everything. Mark's drinking from his dominant hand right now. Drink. God damn it, bro.

But you didn't take the drink. Not if I was holding my non-dominant hand. That counts. Yeah, you can. You can't even hold it? Yeah, you can't pick it up in your dominant hand. Oh, that's easy. That's done.

It's easy. I already know how I'm going to avoid it, you fucking idiots. He's holding the gun in his right hand. That's done. It's easy. I already know how I'm going to avoid it. You fucking idiots. He's holding the gun in his right hand. The whole time. Oh my god, bro. That was wild, dude. Sorry about that, Dove. That was fucked up.

Love me. I'll never miss again. Alright, let's go. Alright, so now you've been officially married for... When this comes out, you'll have been officially married for, I think, three days? Three days. How are you feeling? I don't know how i'm feeling mark why would you ask me a future hypothetical question like that it's just trying to spark you can't speculate i'm not how do i feel i think that i'm going to be in brazil i think that my first day or two i'll probably be really stressed because i don't have any structure or anything to do and i'll probably be looking at

the interest shultz.com see how many ticket sales are going. Infamous store, you go check it out. And yeah, I'll probably just be falling apart emotionally, as I usually do. And then probably around like day three or four, I'll just accept that I'm just going to be kind of comfortable not doing anything, and that's okay. And then we'll start to kick in. So right now I'll be in the middle of crisis and happiness.

I'm on my way to happiness it's gonna be in brazil 100 in brazil uh because that's where i'll be wait but why why did you guys pick brazil well because that's where we want to celebrate after our wedding you think i'm stupid enough to say the word that i'm not allowed to say wait what there's probably one of those words i'm not gonna say that word that's where we're gonna know what word you're not trying to say because he's trying to lob it up he wants he wants me to say yeah you do yeah you do're not trying to say because he's trying to even lob it up he wants post wedding celebration that's what i'm gonna do okay that's what i'm gonna do nothing to do with moons nothing to do with sweet things not a word oh it's not i had some words as well

little did you know i had some words i brought my own little bag of tricks guys come on now everybody chill out miles it's really scary i know how accurate you are okay um no but i'll be doing my honeymoon whoa whoa whoa dude you lighten it up halfway down i didn't do that right? I'm surprised I didn't smoke weed correctly. Half his beard is melted off the side of his face. Dude, you need to... I know I had to.

Listen, stop. You don't have to do payback. Also, no payback. Oh, really? Every 10 seconds you gotta take a... Or every 10 minutes you gotta take a sip. Oh, we gonna be really drunk tonight. I got time. It's just one sip. You can't do one sip. I can take one sip.

All right, let's go. Let's go. Your boy out here sipping. It's bachelor party time. Where the hoes at? One sip. Oh, shit. You see my reflexes?

They're going to turn on that one right there? That was next level. I literally swatted it with my ski mask of Slump God. I had to teach fucking Shifty who that was today. Shifty's washed. Yo, Shifty, you are fucking washed yeah you really know why you didn't even know who ski master slump god was you know all them songs by him skippity boppity boop bop you guys ever heard him do that skippity boppity boop bop that guy's crazy man okay how does this

compare to your actual bachelor party oh this, this was way different, man. No, actual bachelor party, we never spoke about on a podcast. And it was fucking awesome, man. We were high on Molly. Mark was being a nerd about it. No, I wasn't. Yeah, you were. I was being cool. Yo, you left at 9 o'clock.

You were the bigger nerd. How the fuck you managed to do that? No, you left at 9. That is a good ass. I have to side with Akash here. You were a bigger nerd than him akash was old i'm old he still is he was older now akash tried to make us look like shit like he was like man i'm going home man i'm not trying to get no pussy and we're like we ain't trying to get no

pussy neither bro that's not what we're staying out to get pussy we're staying out to be you know i think the only thing keeping me from getting pussy is time? Yeah. Yo, you are arrogant. That's what you, you knew if you were out past 10 o'clock. You think this is going to happen. Oh, it's 2 a.m. That's when they start throwing pussy at me. Real talk.

I got to go get some sleep to avoid all these bitches. I know that's what you think. Son. I know deep down you think that. I actually did the bachelor party perfectly. How'd you do it? Because I hung out. I did my time.

You know what I mean? I was there for everybody. Did my time time and then when y'all got did my this is the best this is the second best day of his life bro you said literally i'm with all the people i love yeah and no women and then when y'all got too drunk it's the best but then y'all got too high so i was like well they don't know what the fuck's going on anyway at this point i'm gonna just go i wasn't high yeah i wasn't i was drunk and then i got high off molly but then that's when i left son i left like an hour after the molly what'd you do in the wrong hand again dumbass dumbass and you just took a sip with the wrong hand yeah i know

okay i'm doing it i'm doing it all right you know okay so yeah so we're out there we're on fucking molly and then mark tries to analyze it he can't just have fun yeah he's just i'm like how you I'm doing it. All right. You know? Okay. So yeah. So we're out there. We're on fucking Molly. And then Mark tries to analyze it. He can't just have fun. Yeah. He's just, I'm like, how you feeling, bro? And he goes, well, I understand. This is just my synapses firing in my brain.

And there's certain serotonin chemicals or whatever. I'm not a drug guy. I'm not a drug guy. I want to, I want to calculate the drugs. I don't want to be like going crazy. I ate a laser, Mark. You didn't know you could do that Until I did it

I don't know I just wanted to see if I could swallow it And it would come out of my nose I tried to sneeze it out So I opened my mouth the laser would go in And I tried to breathe out of my nose And it didn't do that It just stops in the back of your throat No gag reflex though

Nothing dude Day one of the bachelor party Everyone got kicked out. Oh my God. Do you remember this? That's right. We went on a really cool taco tour. It sounds corny, but it was one of the most authentic things.

I also didn't go. Oh, that's right. You weren't there. No. And neither were you. I was waiting for this guy. Yo, when he arrived, he's like, yo, Akash, why are you late? He's like, well, this flight was a little bit more convenient, so I chose this one.

My brother had no excuse. He didn't even try to cover his own excuse. I was like, come with an excuse. At least I lied. Why would I lie, yo? Yo, literally, he's like, his flight was easier for me to get to. Easier for what? I'm sorry.

Easier for what? I know when you work. We work the same time. Nah. You didn't have nothing to record. He wanted that lay flat. I got the lay flat. I respect.

Respect. That's selfish, bro. I got the lay flat. That's selfish, bro. You wouldn't take a fucking lay flat i got the lay flat respect respect that's selfish bro that's selfish bro you wouldn't take a fucking lay flat no not for you dude i remember your bachelor party yeah yeah where'd we go i don't think we have we had that one did we not even have a bachelor party i didn't have one nothing no i should i should have a post yo this is the wedding too hastily huh we did the wedding too quick not both Huh? We did the wedding too quick. Not both of them. You did one of them really quick.

So quick you forgot to pass out some invitations. Yeah, that's true. Do you remember that? Do you remember that part of it? Yeah, I didn't get invited. Huh? I didn't get invited. None of y'all got invited. None of us got invited. That's weird. I did y'all a favor, yo. Didn't show up to mine. You remember that? Yeah. Oh, shit. Because I was going to Rupam's wedding from Indian Matchmaker.

Trash excuse. Son, I had to go to an industry wedding you know what i mean more connected there might be an agent there who knows all right guys look i gotta tell you something very important i'm very intoxicated right now but come december 30th and 31st in boston at the wilbur theater I will not be this intoxicated. Okay? And we will be doing an infamous tour there. And you know what? Fuck it.

I'm drunk right now. So we add in another show. We're adding another show Friday. You sure? Yeah, we're adding another show. We're adding another show Friday. So we already got three shows there sold out. We're adding a fourth show Friday.

Officially right now, it's on and popping. Boston, pull the fuck up, okay? This is coming out the 21st. You got a few days to get them tickets. But ideally, it's already sold out by then. But listen, the Infamous Tour, four shows in fucking Boston. Ding dong, bing bong. You know what I mean?

We out there for New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve's Eve with the boys and the girls. You know what I mean? Also, The Andrew Shows for all the new shows in the new year. Go get them shits. Go to theandrewshows.com. I meant.com, but you already know what time it is. I got to stop talking. Akash, promote your dates.

I'm high. I don't remember when this shit airs. So you probably missed my DC shows, December 9th through 11th. They were probably sold out, you fucking idiots. January 7th and 8th, I'm going to be at Hyena's in Dallas. I'm coming home. Y'all better sell these shows out. January 27th through 29th, I'm going to be at the Comedy Vault in Batavia, Illinois.

February 3rd and 4th, I'm going to be in Richmond, Virginia at the Sandman Comedy Club. Also, Canada, we're coming. March 11th, Vancouver. I'm going to be at Vancouver Playhouse. Sell that shit the fuck out. Let's go. And Toronto, we back in a bigger venue. Like I told you, it would be April 22nd and 23rd.

I'm going to be at the Royal Theater. We doing theaters now. Bring that ass out. Let's sell that shit out again. We'll actually have the show this time. AkashSingh.com for tickets. Let's get back to the show. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second

because I got to make sure your dicks are as hard as they can be. Okay? That's my personal responsibility. And you know who's going to help me do it is Blue Chew. Blue Chew, same active ingredient that's inside Cialis or Viagra. But this is the chew. This is the one we rock with. And this is the reason I'm getting married.

Okay? This is the reason the boys on this podcast are already married. Hell yeahew.com make sure you use that promo code flagrant and you're gonna get it for free all you gotta do is pay five dollars for shipping that's it enjoy bluechew.com go there go do it now let's get back to this episode. I'm a pretty bitch. That's my type. How does that song go? You would have known Shifty old fuck. Yeah, washed. Washed. Washed as Shifty. That's my type. What is that? Eight inch bigger.

Eight inch bigger. That's my type. That's the bar he would know. We're back to gay Shifty. I think we're back. I think That's my type. That's the bar he would know. We're back to gay shifty. I think shifty gay again. Alright, but in all seriousness, you were bad about your wedding. You can admit that. I was great, dude. I did y'all a favor. You want to sit through two religious

ceremonies? That's a good point. That first one was wild. I don't know, yo. At least on a Zoom one, they wouldn't have fed us dirt. That shit is good point. That first one was wild. I don't know, yo. At least on a Zoom one, they wouldn't have fed us dirt. That shit is so good. Y'all are hating. Stop it. Stop it, bro.

Y'all are hating, bro. Y'all need to stop. I was fucked up. They just reached into some fucking... Yo, what, Al? Al, you're being a dick. That shit is trash. Stop.

That shit is trash. Stop. Stop. That shit look like Miles Atraxu, bro. That shit is awesome. Yeah, that's true they did feed us miles tracksuit you have to admit i just dropped the ash on me that shit burning yeah it should burn you gotta chill the fuck out dude seriously you gotta chill the fuck out more than everybody you know listen it was nice of them to feed us but you had delicious food outside we didn't need anything extra and that shit hardened mad quick. I made some fucking slippers out of it. I can't believe y'all hating on Hollywood, dog.

It's the best. But you can be honest. I swear I ate that for breakfast when I went home. You're lying. Dead ass. I've been to your house. Eating it for breakfast isn't the problem. It's how they delivered it to us.

Why? That was the hard part, dog. Just barehanded. Yeah. What it for breakfast isn't the problem. It's how they delivered it to us. Yeah. Why? That was the hard part, dog. Just barehanded. Yeah. Yeah. What are you supposed to do? They just raw dogged that shit in my mouth. That was crazy.

It was. Come on, bro. Don't be gay about that shit. Did they feed you? The dude didn't even do his hands. He ate it and then spit it into my mouth. A little baby bird. A little baby bird.

A little baby bird. You were disrespectful. Did he? I was disrespectful. Yeah. How do you figure? He just knew. He knew your spirit

Your spirit is disrespectful I'm being honest with you I'm being honest with you You meant that You meant that Yeah And you're not wrong You're not wrong

There is disrespectful bones In my body Not all of them But some of them are Which one Say what I don't think you have A respectful bone in your body

The esophagus Your esophagus Is disrespectful His esophagus Gets disrespected Yo my esophagus. Yo, your esophagus is disrespectful. His esophagus gets disrespected. Yo, my esophagus be getting so drilled up. For real, dude. I got to take some time off. That's why I'm going to Brazil.

Yeah, respect. Do you know what I mean? I just need to... Come on, bro. Yo, you going to get your body done when you're down there? Hell yeah. Honestly, I need to get my shit done. Get that BBL done.

Oh, Al, you don't know. I got Botox. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you missed it. No, no no no i do how'd you know i knew when you lied to me his motherfucker no i never sat into it watch his motherfucker we was in the green room somewhere he was like yo i've been moisturizing him my skin's looking good and shit like that i knew the whole time his motherfucker had Botox already And I was just watching him cap I was like oh yeah

The moisturizer son Look at you dog I got that shit last week I got it in my life From the same woman that gave me all them creams She made me a believer She made me a believer Why would I be talking right now

I could just say I did it Did I come in the other week and say it It was a couple weeks ago I got my teeth whitened too She made me believe I swear to God I'm like Why would I be talking right now I could just say I did it I literally Did I come in the other week And say it It was a couple weeks ago With your teeth whitened I got my teeth whitened too It was legit like a week ago

I started to glow up I'm about to leave my girl I'm looking at her like God damn I was with that guy You know what I mean But now my skin all taut and shit Smiling big

Yeah you look snug I'm going to Brazil Yeah Sempio What What Not Sempio Yeah What's that girl's name Smiling big You know what I mean I'm going to Brazil Yeah Senpai-o What? What? Not Senpai-o Yeah

What's that girl's name? That tranny Yeah That's what you're gonna look like When you come back Say what? That's what I want you to look like I honestly

That'll be fire You think? Yeah You got your tummy snaps If I come back tranny I can say whatever I want Come back black tranny If I come back black tranny That's fire That would be super can say whatever I want. Come back black tranny. If I come back black tranny, that would be super fire.

Say whatever I want, even about you. Even about you. I've never seen anybody smoke something so fast, bro. Yeah, I know. He's chiefing, bro. Relax, dog. I'm a real one, guys. You really are.

They got sugar in that thing, bro? You are going to town on that shit. You're going to get high, Akash. You got to be careful, man. Which cushy is that? If I don't drink, it's one of the cushy pre-rolls. I don't know.

I think Dream. So maybe I'll be passed the fuck out. This guy's going to be asleep, dude. It's my fucking bachelor party. Once again, this guy's going to be tapping out. He's going to be veneerated. So I left your bachelor party like,

I am arrested, bro. The rest of y'all were a wreck. I was like, I feel great. You and Laurent would go. You and fucking Jerk Your feel great you and laurent you and laurent would go you and um fucking jerk your meat yeah our boy jerky meat would go home early laurent just had a kid so he's like i'm getting all to sleep i fucking can't i could tell one night though he wanted to stay out and he kept being like stand another 30 and i stayed an extra hour and then i was like i'm leaving this you tapped out saying bye to him oh we all got a drink why 10 minutes y'all minutes oh shit come on. Oh, shit. Come on. Respect.

Respect. Cheers. That's why I'm taking on these CBDs. Get back to that. That was a long 10 minutes. That mezcal tasting. Oh, yeah. Why'd you get kicked out?

I didn't get kicked out because we were all there. We're with the homies. I wasn't there. I never would have got a cigarette. Yeah, you don't know anything about this. He definitely got a cigarette. But say how it started. The taco tour ended.

We went on this amazing taco tour. And it wasn't like bullshit. It was like hole-in-the-wall taco spots that were the legit fucking spots at least we assume it was the five best tacos you ever had in your life absolutely unbelievable not even a question we're drinking fucking tequila we're getting shitty they're trying to tell us not to drink and we're like what the fuck's going on so we get shitty by the end we go for a mezcal tasting it's just in this bitch's apartment we thought it was going to be at a fucking bar or some shit the same girl that was taking us around telling us not to drink the entire time that we were drinking yeah paper

don't drink don't drink beautiful spot and we were just throwing them throwing them back throwing them back with the tacos we're going into this fucking spot and it's literally 10 dudes and all of us enjoy tension like yeah this podcast a lot of the times is built off of not being able to say something and the fun that's around not being able to say it and that's all of us in that room and we're in there once she said that you can't fucking speak that loud it was over it was over we got the speakers there was some white dude telling us about the mezcal once we found out he was from fucking portland or like north North California, it was over, dude. We didn't have no respect for him.

We were supposed to try 10 different mezcals. We got through two, and a dude pulled who he thought was the most responsible of all of us. Who was that? In another room. Jason. Oh, yeah, yeah. Most reckless motherfucker on the planet. Little did he know.

Pulled him in another room. He was like, you look like the responsible one. I think we should cut this short. I'll give you your money back. He does look responsible, but he ain't shit. No, no, he ain't. He ain't at all. Shout out to my boy, jason so we got kicked right out the fucking mezcal tasting man you said i'll give you your money back just please get yeah please leave my house and please

be quiet on the way out wow yeah that's what you missed that was the same night that was looking crazy wide remember that oh yeah that one picture. Yeah, the hips. Oh, no. Don't shoot people at the edge of a shot in point five. We got to get that picture, bro. We got to bring that up. And Mark brought this up yesterday, how does stomach look like Britney Spears? And I think it's important. A little bit. If you dance in your living room holding your titties, you're Britney Spears.

100%. 100%. If we wax your chest, you're Britney Spears, dude. Oh, so that's why he said he would rather have Britney over Britney Renner. A hundred percent. He's an artist. He's an artist, yeah. That makes sense.

A hundred percent. Yeah, a hundred percent. That'd be great, bro. Just lay on top of each other like fucking Lego. That shit would go right. Just fitting perfectly, dude. Oh, wait, yo, that's a drink. Al said to her.

No! That's a drink. That's a drink. Come on, now. I'm not going to be able to laugh at this shit. No! Everyone's got a drink. Everyone's got a drink. Why did you take away the to her? No, no, no. They didn't take it away. it's only once it's only once okay the first time everyone's got a drink okay good so you have this list somewhere so we can verify this yeah oh you got on the phone okay i wish you would to be honest with you. Okay, go. What do you mean go? Oh, we got to keep doing a podcast?

I would just say, after the mezcal tasting, I thought it was going to be a calm night, and then Adderall just came to our lives. God bless Adderall. And we turned up. Oh, my God. We really turned up. We truffled.

Dove was truffling the fuck out of this dude. He didn't know that the guy was giving him prices in pesos, and and then dove just broke this man and then found out that it was dollars like it no he didn't know that the guy was giving him prices in what was it i mean it was low it was the other one yeah right i don't know how to do that right now because i'm fucking high yeah but it was pesos oh there's the picture of dove looking crazy i crazy. I'm at the edge. Look at my foot. It's big. It's big. Oh, wow. Someone used it.

Built like a Mexican in this shit. Yeah, it really was. Oh, man, we're spitting it. We're boxy, bro. Hey, you looking mad lean. 0.5 stretches. Yeah. 0.5 is less.

You should look skinnier. No, no, no. Come on, bro. You look crazy. Sponge Bob in this bitch. Yeah, dude. You look like shit, bro. Dude, dude, dude. Yeah, but I smashed that night, did I not?

You did smash that night. Or was it the next night? No, next night. What was the line that you said to the girl? What was the line that you said to the girl to get her to come with you to the next spot? Legendary line. What was the line?

It was, one drink, no sex. We're all leaving. We're all leaving, bro. It's like's like three in the morning and i just hear dove in the corner i cannot go i cannot go no i cannot go i cannot go i have to go home i have to go home and then doug just goes one drink no sex let's go so dove how many drinks was it zero drinks five sex and then the next day we did what luchadores luchador yeah the mexican wrestling was fire dude yeah oh that shit was lit that was cool that was really good man those fuckers were about it yeah that was it was way different than wwe what was the difference it was way more technical i felt like when i was younger there'd be certain wwe characters that could do all the flips and all

that kind of stuff and then there was other ones who were like just personality. Yeah. And these guys, obviously they had personality, but, and they had these different characters, but most of it was the tricks. It was acrobatics. Yeah. They were gymnasts. And they're gymnasts. And then all three of them would be in the ring together. It would be three on three.

Yeah. And like, sometimes they're all in, sometimes they're like tapping each one in. And it was like a best of three thing, which I had never seen before. Yeah. Oh, that's right. They had rounds, like Street Fighter. Yeah. Yeah.

Most of them would get pinned and you thought it was over and then they keep fighting we were very confused for a little bit yeah but it was she was impressive yeah they got it man they fucking got it and it was kind of like stand up like in a weird way like they would have an initial move that got a reaction then a tag on that another move another move and then the big finale and by then you just find yourself like getting out of your seat and clapping i'm like you were doing this without talking yeah like you've choreographed an applause yeah they didn't have any of the fucking interviews that they do in the american ww promos or whatever they call that shit yeah yeah yeah so man that was fucking and then can we say that my favorite story of the whole okay what was it when you and al shared a moment

with one of your dear friends with one of your dear friends. So one of your dear friends, I don't want to necessarily say his name, but you... Oh yeah, we sucked Molly off his finger? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one of my boys... You're a douchebag. You're a douchebag. This is mad funny. This is mad funny.

Welcome back out So this is mad funny Cause he's one of my best friends in the world Right Fuck off So he comes So we already did some Molly's really feeling good

I'm eating lasers And all that kind of shit This is the next day right And we're just enjoying our life And everything's fine And I'm already high on Molly I'm drunk I'm on Adderall

Like everything is positive Feeling good I feel in a safe place I feel like these are my brothers And they could never do anything To embarrass me Or make me feel stupid these are my brothers like this is what i'm destined to be friends with for the rest of my life right so hot my boy just rolls up to me dips his finger into molly comes out there's there there's there's

molly on the finger and he just points at my mouth right and i just go all right boom So he does that to both of us, right? You suck the finger after I suck the finger. Different finger, different finger, different finger. Different finger, different finger, different finger. So then he hits Al. So he does that to both of us, right? And then afterwards, he goes, y'all just sucked my fucking finger. How y'all just suck my finger like that, bro? What the fuck is wrong with y'all sucking my goddamn finger, bro? Why'd you suck his finger? Say what?

Why'd you suck his finger? I didn't suck his finger. I took Molly from him. No, no. You went full knuckle down.'d you suck his finger? I didn't suck his finger. I took Molly from him. No, no. You went full knuckle down. No, the way you describe it is I sucked his finger. I did Molly.

That happened to be on his finger. But I didn't suck his finger and it happened to be some Molly. You sucked the Molly off his finger, which might be even gayer. I didn't suck it, dog. Yeah, you did. To be honest,

I just gave him all tongue, no lips. I gave him all tongue, no lips. That's because you got no lips, bro. That's because you got no lips, bro. shit dude here it's very hard bro it was that esophagus bro that shit is no respect that esophagus I thought that was gonna be a killer I thought that was my final wrestling move nah you went for

I respect that actually you went for the whole finger with your voice I went for the whole fucking finger Al he said Al

took more than me whoa he said you took more than me he did nah I'll do Indian burn you went Indian burn

nah I licked it like a retard I was like He said you took more than me. He did. I'll do Indian burn. You went Indian burn? Nah, I licked it like a retard. Just a little bit? Okay, what else happened? I don't know. I don't really remember. I just knew I was late and that shit sucks. I missed my flight. You missed your fucking flight. I had to wait for that motherfucker for an hour at the airport oh my gosh it'd be so annoying what'd he say well i'd be

annoying because i didn't want to leave your dumb ass we're landed at the same time and every minute he's like hey you almost here i'm like bro i'm in customs like i'm not just waiting around he's like oh you almost there yeah like every 10 minutes until finally this motherfucker is all cap you think i texted you a bunch of times to see if I could hang out with you? Yeah. I'm trying to be nice. I don't want to abandon you. What the fuck? Piece of shit. I try to be nice and you make me that fucking bitch. Yeah.

This guy wants to be my friend. Nobody else was there with you, Mark. Fucking Mexico with your white ass just sticking out like a sore thumb. You didn't look like this. This guy could have survived. Oh yeah, probably. Honestly, no one would fuck with me if I looked with me yeah like this that's you should have came like that that would have been fire that would have been you like fucking mark the mark to be honest now you look like a mark oh shit yo smoke that whole joint you want a nice run, too. You look like Mark. The Mark. Yeah, what the fuck?

I don't even understand what that meant. I thought it was a reference. I don't even understand the joke. I didn't shoot you just for wasting my time. Wasting my brain cells. That's just a little pun, a little play on words. Oh, like he was a Mark. Yeah.

All right, all right. No. No. No. All right, that's another 10 minutes. We all got to drink. All right, all right, all right. Hold on, hold on.

I'm trying to shoot your hat right off your head. Fuck. All right, good. I'm done. You drinking or not? I'm drinking, bro. Don't try to drink. All right. All right. All right. Hold on. Hold on. I'm trying to shoot your hat right off your head. Fuck. I ain't good. I'm done. You drinking or not? I'm drinking, bro. I don't try to sleep. Little bitch?

I am a little bitch. Nah, he's got to surf later or something, so he's pretending he can't drink. Yeah, I'm pretending I can't drink. So where are you surfing indoors? I'm surfing in Jersey. I'm where you live. You surfing in Jersey, that shit is whack. Ooh.

I just put it in that hand I didn't drink It was going down Alright What's the rules on it I already took the drink I think you can't touch it With that hand

You just can't touch it If you're putting it down Just don't like Hold it the whole time Or like drink it Alright mom Alright Alright mom

Okay So now that you're a married man I have a few questions for you Okay talk to me Would you rather See your parents have sex Or have your parents Watch you have sex have my parents watch me have sex 100 well my dad's memory's gone so he's gonna forget about it immediately unless i throw it down uh the only

thing he remembers and uh i don't know i got a good relationship with my parents you know what i mean like i'm totally fine with that. You'd be totally fine. Yeah. Not, not see me nut, but see me stroke. Now they got to see you nut. No,

I have to come. Yeah. Obviously. It's that come face. What does that mean? Coming is not sex. They've heard it for years. Yeah.

Like my parents have heard me fuck guaranteed. No way. A hundred percent. Really? They've heard you fuck or they've heard you? I heard his parents fuck. He was 35. I heard,

my mom would see girls walk into the place. Like my parents are going to be fucked. No. 100%. The bed knocking. Coming down sweaty half hard. Coming down the stairs sweaty half hard. Medium swole.

Medium swole. Okay, Ma, can I get an orange juice? Your boy need to build up them sugars. Real talk. 100%. So she knows that I was getting it in. And I've heard them fuck forever and walked in on them on purpose, knowing that they were fucking.

I did. I did that. Because it's fun. You going to fuck all loud knowing damn well we can hear it? Oh, Lottie. Lottie. Oh, Lottie. Oh, Lottie.

That's what my mom would say his name. Like, we don't know our dad's name. Like, we're not going to go in there and check to see if something's wrong with Lottie. You know what I'm saying? My brother would go in there all the time like, is everything okay? He was mad young. He was mad young. He was like fucking eight years old, waddling into the room.

Dad, are you okay? Mom keeps yelling your name. And then he'd open the door. There was no locks in the doors in our apartment, White House. Respect. Respect. And he just walked in. My dad be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, stop, stop. My mom was like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, Greg, stop. I was just getting my fanny rinse. Everything's fine. And especially me fanny my fanny was getting a rinting

alright holy shit my fucking fanny is a gaping open right now because your dad was putting his fucking Christmas tree of a cock inside me. Holy shit.

It was unbelievable. I was saying his name because I wasn't sure if it was him. I was like, what is this thing? Is it a Ninja Turtles lunchbox or your dad's fucking cock? It felt humongous. It felt fucking humongous. I thought it was a wee Ninja Turtles lunchbox. I did. I thought I could open it in a fucking Capri Sun,

but I fell out of it. I really did. So that was me. And my family. All right, guys, what do you think? Huh? Oh. I can't die of shit.ash, I ain't shit.

Aikash, I ain't shit. Aikash. Aikash. Hey, you might be right, yo. Aikash, cool out. Oh, man, we... I keep throwing it back, bro. That's because I had that joke bomb.

I had to take the whole shit down. That's true. Okay. How do they eat? He got asthma. We making him smoke multiple joints. out y'all i gotta do something no you already did it really counts as multiple i'd rather watch my parents have sex get my dad some pointers if you're not putting it down right come on dad's poor form how do you think your parents do it? How do you think your parents do it? You think he throws her in the dog? I don't think so, man.

I don't think so. But I'm going to tell him to change it up every once in a while. You got to. You know, tell him to change up. Do that shit sometimes. You got to. My dad be on top, man. Get him those socks that fucking dig into the sheets.

You know what I mean? Hey, man. You got to know your positions. My dad was on top with no ass. Yeah. My dad got no ass. Negative? Yeah, he got the negative. I'd walk in dad was on top with no ass. Yeah. My dad got no ass. Yeah, he got the negative. I'd walk in the room

and just see no ass. I'd be like, okay, dad, put it down. My mom's head slamming against the headboard and shit. Oh my God. Oh my God.

What? Y'all never seen your mom's head slam against the headboard? Never? Oh, laddy. Boom. How's mom don't even

have sex anymore? He's fine with that. That's fucked up, yo. He's fine withie. Boom. Al's mom don't even have sex anymore. He's fine with that. He's fine with that. You're a toughie. You're not a good son. I would watch them because I want her to get some. Oh, hey. Yeah, I'd do that.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I just seen him so much. It's like nothing for me. I believe that shit. It's like watching a Christmas story. You really see the best. You know what I mean? Like, come on. We've seen this. like nothing for me i believe that shit it's like watching a christmas story you really you really come on we've seen this 12 times i get it ma your tongue is stuck yeah you're gonna shoot

he's gonna shoot your eye out oh man all right what about y'all what would you rather i'd probably watch dog i don't want to see i don't want them to see my stroke game. Really? Yeah, I should be, you know. So your stroke game's that trash? I don't know. I just feel like they're Catholic, you know what I mean?

They got nine kids. Your dad puts it down. Yeah, probably. Yeah. So I'd probably, yeah, I'd probably do it. Wait, wait, not nine kids. Son, I threw a number out there. How many?

He didn't even object to it. Well, maybe it's nine. I don't know. Seven that we know about so seven there might be plus that was close yeah that was close

so seven yeah your parents be getting it you never heard them well I guess you're younger what about the older brothers and sisters did they ever hear your parents they never spoke about it

but did they hear that's what Catholics do they don't speak about it they never said anything but you hear bro it's a house like they in the west wing bro oh they got their own thing they They got the wing, dog.

Oh, wow. So she could just let loose. I was just upstairs. I didn't hear anything. Oh, dude. But maybe it didn't happen after me because I only have one younger sister. So maybe that was a wrap after that. But maybe the older ones heard about when you were getting conceived.

For real. I remember when my mom and dad conceived my brother. Oh, my God. That shit was crazy. Wait, why? We were at the beach, and I just heard my mom just fucking hurtceived my brother Oh my god That shit was crazy Wait why? We were at the beach And I just heard my mom Just fucking

Like she was grunting On that shit She was grunting on that shit I was like Nah this bitch getting pregnant Tonight I felt it I felt it dude

For some reason I was five I was like nah She finna get pregnant Grunting like that And what did you say? You say congrats or what? Yeah

Dapped my dad up Gave him orange juice Yeah Threw a little towel at my mom. Wipe that up. The losers, bro. Wipe up the losers, bro. I didn't make it.

Wipe up the losers. Oh, my God. Second place. Wipe up the losers. All right. Would you rather make out with your celebrity crush? All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second because I need to tell y'all about the best cbd in the game and if you think

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That's a win-win for you. Now let's get back to the show remember cushydreams.com and that promo code code is flagrant that's k-u-s-h-y dreams.com promo code flagrant i'm high all right would you rather make out with your celebrity crush or get five thousand fifty thousand dollars make out with my celebrity crush now that i'm married yeah or get fifty thousand yeah or make out with my celebrity crush just make out with my celebrity crush now that i'm married yeah or get 50 000 yeah or make out my celebrity crush just make out yeah just make out but i might the reason they're crushes and for making out yeah but that's all you get nah give me 50 000 50 000 is the make out of money though

that shit ain't real what you gonna do a 50,000 think what you could do it with 50,000 of people in India yeah or sitting right $50,000? It's just the first time. It's just the first time. Yeah. Dude, you just really shit on $50,000? Yeah, I know.

Yo, I can't just be the shit. That's not a good hypothetical amount of money. Would you suck a dick for a million dollars? Yeah, but we're not sucking dicks. You gotta throw out a big amount of money. Yeah. It's just, what would you rather make out of it? They raised their stakes as low stakes ass hypothetical. On both sides, you're like, who gives a fuck, yo?

Hey, you get to kiss somebody. Which side would you take? And it's hypothetical. I mean, he could say fuck because he's married right now. Fuck the celebrity or get a million dollars. Either way, he cheating. Hey, cheating if you making out. It's for a roll.

It's for a roll. Making out is cheating. Who's making out is cheating? You're not upset about making out. That's the whole reason you took the $50,000. I'm married. That was your whole rationale. No, because I don't need to make out with my crush.

I'm trying to clap cheeks. With the silky. Respect. Respect. For real. I want the clap socks. What are they called? Clap cleats.

I want the clap cleats. Oh, you got to explain that. Yeah, they're socks. They got like rubber studs on the bottom so you don't move while you're fucking. Yeah. And they call them clap cleats. That's fire, right? That's great.

But what's funny is- Shout out to clap cleats. What's funny, those are called booties. really yeah like the version of those right now they're called booties the socks with the grip on the bottom so they already have a sexual in you like and you end oh like because you're getting booty yeah should we make out drink the whole fucking tequila bottle for that wasn't a joke a joke. It was just so boring that maybe you should drink the whole fucking tequila bottle. Nah, not the whole tequila bottle. I'll drink for you if you want.

Doug has a problem, Doug. He really does. Okay, what else? Next question. How about single people? Would you rather fuck your celebrity crush or have a million dollars? Oh, shit. See how that's a good hypothetical dumbass point that at me jeez i want the milli over what over who who are you turning down what you screw celebrity crushes

what are you screwing it i watched him do that for 30 seconds i'm like what is it gonna get tight it's a bell it's a 30 second. 30 seconds straight. He was screwing that shit, looking around the room. I'm 15 seconds in, he got frustrated, and he was like, fuck, I'm going to keep screwing. It's a scoop. You all have had it off just now. I'm used to having tough-ass hands. I'm like, god damn, I'm weak as shit. I can't fucking tighten this thing.

Who are you turning down? Who's your celebrity crush? What is this? What am I doing with this? Who are you turning down? Who's your celebrity crush? What is this? What am I doing with this?

No, a better question for Dove is married to your celebrity crush or 50 mil? Oh, that's brilliant. Not even celebrity crush. We fixed it. Not even celebrity crush. 50 mil or you meet your wife tomorrow and you can marry that woman. Or you have 50 mil right now.

50 mil and you die alone. 50 mil, you can... 50 mil, I die alone. No, no, no. Not die alone. no no no no not that long there's still chance that you could yeah you might be able to meet your girl i'm glad you're right you could find your other trash either perfect question i'm taking the 50 you understand and i'm doing things with that 50 to welcome in all the little hebrews from the land of is, from Montreal, from LA. So you can pass on the mission for shits. Yeah. Wow, dude.

Have a little more shits. You want money more than love. More than happiness. More than happiness. I've been in love twice, guys. No, you haven't. Three times. You haven't been in love.

You've never been a millionaire. You were in love with that one blonde girl. What do you mean? My first love. No, the other one. I know your first love. Yeah, and you don't want that back? I'll get it.

I'll get it. Y'all got to catch me, yo. Y'all got to catch me. I'll get it. You were being shifty. You had a diversion. All right, you got to drink. All right, Dove.

What? Why would you give up on true love? If you're saying that I could find it eventually, I'm 37. I'm gorgeous. But you might not. And I haven't done Botox yet. I haven't done Botox yet. You should have been gorgeous.

That's what they say. That's what they say. I don't know. I pulled the trigger at the exact time I got hit by it and I thought I shot myself with the gun I literally I was like did it come out the side

I didn't hold on to that one how the hell did that happen I thought it came out the side oh shit sounds like Alec I'm high yeah that's the thing guys i don't know

are you live probably i never been high start smoking weed but that's the hustle that's the cushy hustle you're it's cushy bro that's the hustle one is right there oh it's gonna make you hustle not it's a hustle it's called hustle oh okay next question mark i like these questions all right dude come on come on come on I like these questions. All right He matrix that shit All right your girl yes and your mom switch bodies. Oh, God. Oh, this is the worst one ever, yo.

Yeah, yeah. So your girl's got your mom's brain. Yep. And your mom's got your girl's brain. Yep. You got to smash one. That's what I said. Yeah, yeah.

You got to smash one. Smash my girl's body. With your mom's brain? Yeah. Bro. What? To switch them back? That's what you're going with? What kind of gay ass shit is it to fuck a girl for's brain? Yeah! Bro! What? To switch them back? That's what you're going with? What kind of gay ass shit is it to like fuck a girl for her brain?

I mean who are you guys? I just have sex with a girl for her thoughts! Just be quiet. We go both pretend it didn't happen. Back to business! But then your mom's gonna look at you and be like, Andrew! She gonna forget you! Andrew! it was way different than your father it won't be hard talking to you i'll be a while for that without it that you would never smash your mom even if it was your girl's brain you're looking at your mom's body you see it the little hairs at the bottom of her ankle yeah but that's that's home for you though you already been there hairs in the bottom of her ankles you don't shave no more you've already been there before though say what you've already

been there i've been in both of them both i've been in both of them i don't need to go back to my mom you know what i mean but it's your girl's brain though just be quiet don't say nothing i guess mom don't say nothing shut up let me get through this say what no that's happening yeah thanksgiving the next year it's like damn that was weird no was it it was what it was it was what it was we don't bring it up no more that's what it is she just what does she think i don't fuck yo would you rather i don't fuck would you rather have sex with your dad or your mom because your dad might forget? Oh, dad, 100%. Yeah, right?

100%. I'm saying, that's better. Am I? I was freaking out right now. You would rather have sex... My dad's going to forget about it. That's the thing, man. He's still in his body.

You're fucking a dude, bro. Yeah, but he don't get a... You'd rather fuck your mom? Yo, you don't fuck your mom you're my dad yeah yeah absolutely absolutely you would rather fuck your dad he completely forgets about dab him up five minutes later he's like man my ass feels nothing why does my ass feel nothing right now no but you wouldn't rather do that he's gonna completely forget about it's the memory that's gonna haunt you not the experience you too old

to get molested you know what i mean you too old for trauma yeah talking about trauma when they suck it up dog yeah i experienced trauma when i was 40 you'd rather fucking that my dad wasn't gonna remember absolutely my dad would remember. Okay, so what if he remembers? That's different, bro. I fucked my dad, for sure. Call it even. You fucked me.

I fucked you. Oh, man. You fucked my credit. I fucked you. There it is. Okay, go. No, you got to answer. I asked questions, bro. No, bro, I fucked you. There it is. Okay, go. Nah, you gotta answer. I asked questions, bro. Nah, bro, answer that shit. Answer that shit, my boy.

Yeah, I agree. Answer it. What was the question? Just read it. With your girl's brain or your girl with your mom's brain? Dumbass. I am high. I agree, bro.

I might just smash my girl, dog. Yeah, your girl's body. Your girl's body? Mom's brain. So you got to fuck your mom's brain, bro. You're not fucking brains, dog. Yeah, but it's like, your conversation after that is never the same. Why is it not the same?

It might be better. What if our relationship gets better? Hell yeah. That's weird. Why is that weird? Because you're such a tender lover. I'm just saying it could happen. You don't got to kiss her and shit.

Just flip her over. Put her in that bow wow. You know what I mean? Just put your mom's brain in that bow wow. And then go to work. Yeah, then she'll think it's her dad. Not even worried. Yeah.

Just attack it what okay what that's a good strategic would you fuck your mom or your dad nah no you gotta answer this we all answer your dad don't remember your dad don't remember you will remember yeah probably no memory i probably yeah you selfish dog dude you answered that both remembered i didn't add the caveat who would you rather fuck you wouldn't just slide up in your dad's all right it's the altruistic thing to do. It's the altruistic thing to do, Al. The most important person in your life,

whoever that is for you, commits a crime. So my dad commits a crime. Your dad commits a crime. So I'm talking to my girl about how the most important person in my life committed a crime. It's heartbreaking for me. My dad's still on my screensaver. My girl can't even get close.

She can't even get close. She's taking all these pictures. She's like, is that going to be your lock phone? I'm like, dude. No. All right, so your dad commits a crime. Yeah. And you got to serve prison time for him, life in prison.

Okay. But he gets to go free. Okay. Or you commit a crime and your dad has to serve your sentence. Or I go to jail. Even though he's innocent. Yeah, that one. No, that's too easy.

I go to jail. You make your dad go to jail? Yeah, yeah to jail oh you you wouldn't you wouldn't actually yeah you said you wouldn't for my mom for your mom hey i would i'd go to jail for andrew's dad for life for life yeah i'm too great in prison i'm gay nah nah because i think your parents i think our parents wouldn't allow it to happen. They'd be like, yo, we already lived a great life. Let us rock out. We're already staying home all day anyway.

Right? We're not leaving the house. Yeah, you know, you stay at home and then go on and get fucked in your ass. These are two different things. They don't fuck the old. They don't fuck the old in jail. How do you know that? How do you know that?

I know it. How? I don't know why, but I believe in these. They don't fuck the old. They don't fuck the old in jail. How do you know that? How do you know that? How do you know that? I know it. How? I don't know why, but I believe in me. They don't fuck the old in jail. There's respect for the old. What? There's respect for the old, bro. Only one guy got fucked in Shawshank.

Jonesy? Jonesy? Jonesy never got fucked. Morgan Freeman never got fucked? Never. Red never got fucked. Red never got fucked. Only one guy got fucked in Shawshank.

That's what I'm saying. Nah, it was fucking mad guys. Yeah, but they only showed the one. Yeah. Andy Dufresne. Cute. Andy Dufresne. Cute ass Andy Dufresne. Yeah, but he need to get fucked with his hair a little curly ass.

You know what I mean? Put some wax in his hair, put some pomade in your hair that day. Come on now. Get some grip on that. You know what I'm saying? Them clap cleats. Them clap cleats.

Ooh. All right. Would you rather lick the bottom of a homeless man's shoe that's living in New York City, lives in a subway, his shoe is mad gross. Would you rather lick the bottom of his shoe or have someone in this room spit in your mouth?

Spit in my mouth, yo. Yeah. Oh, you got a drink. Oh, you got a drink. Yeah, there you go. Drink it. Crazy, bro. Drink it, Al. I trust y'all spit over a homeless guy's fucking soul. I mean, how different is a homeless guy's soul than anybody else's soul?

That's what I'm saying. It's just the street that we walk in. But you got to be on this podcast every week. Knowing what? That you just mouthed that. Son, it's Andrew Schultz's flagrant too. I figuratively got my mouth spitted already. Jeez.

Who cares? And Ali, you licked Andrew's sloppy seconds. That's basically it. Am I making money? It was different. No. Different figure. And I don't remember, so it didn't count.

You reminded me. Honestly, honestly. Yeah, that's the real you dog you didn't molly in the real you suck some guy's finger no guy no guy i don't know what the rest of that sentence was i don't know the rest of my sentence i honestly don't but what i want to say is neither of them is that bad what do you mean like getting spit in the mouth of by sentence. I honestly don't. But what I want to say is neither of them is that bad. What do you mean? Like getting spit in the mouth by another person

on the podcast. It's not crazy. Who would you have spit in your mouth then? Probably none of you. What do you mean? There's got to be someone in the room.

I don't know. It's tough. It'd have to be anonymous. You want it to be like in a... I don't want to choose. You want like turkey baster. Okay, so all of us

spit in a cup and you just... I drink one of them. Yeah. That actually made it real gross. And also... I got real real. Oh, you want like turkey based or okay, so all of us spit in the cup you just I drink one of them. Yeah That actually made it also My face instinctively frowned wait for it wait for it and We mix up the cups on some three car money shit. So none of y'all even know Spit we all spit in the same cup. Oh

That's crazy, that's too crazy you can't mix the spit yeah mixes space cup no that's crazy that's too crazy you can't mix a spit mixing a spit is too much that's disgusting I can have fresh organic spit but I'm not gonna have homogenous spit I think I would lick a homeless guy's shoe yeah that's easy too that's easy that's light of course tetanus shot you're good to go after that

okay go next one that was near a blackout yeah yeah yeah I really am concerned about the amount tetanus shot you're good to go after that okay go next one near a blackout should I re-up I really am concerned about the amount this guy drinks he's good he's good he's Moroccan something's wrong

something's wrong whenever I ever blacked out been an asshole nothing I have a responsibility to do a podcast you have a responsibility to do a podcast. You have a responsibility to look at fucking hotel rooms. That's another word. That's another word. That's a good word.

Hotel rooms? Pour some in his cup, Dov. It's already a lot. Dov, I got to re-up. I need a slight re-up. You got to re-up on an L. I'm truly not sober enough. I didn't slight re-up. You gotta sober it up. You gotta re-up on an L. No, no, no, no, no. I'm truly not sobering up. I'm gonna be honest with you.

It also is asthma. I didn't know you could get this high on CBD. That's good, that's good, that's good. And then him. Mazel tov. Bye, bye, bye. There you go. Okay, next question.

Okay, would you rather... Can I get some more ice, my G? You can pass on this one if you want. Would you rather smash your partner's sibling or your best friend's sibling? My partner's sibling. My partner's sibling. Or my best friend's sibling.

My partner only has boys. Brothers. So I gotta smash one of your siblings. Yeah. I said the same thing. Oh, fuck. What's up Dove? Shut your mouth

I do have to finish what I started back at prom I do I might have to finish what I started Oh I took Dove's sister to prom You know what I mean? I did I took her to prom and then I didn't do anything Your boy kept it respectful

I was a gentleman I was on some pussy shit for sure. But he's back. You don't get respect. But, but, you know, I get respect, dog. I might have to finish the deed. I would do that before I had sex with one of my girl's brothers. Absolutely.

Damn. But no disrespect to, obviously, your sister's husbands who are great guys and I love them. I think they would just understand the situation I'm in. Hypothetical if your girl had a sister. Would I dick her down? Would you dick down your girl's sister or one of your friend's siblings? I think one of my friend's siblings would be a lot easier to continue to build my relationship with my girl. Yeah, that's probably better.

100%. Would I probably enjoy it more, dicking girl sister you don't gotta answer that probably just because i like that type oh that's what i'm saying that's why i'm doing a question she can only be 50 jealous you know what i mean because she got 50 the same genetic material i think it's more than that 75 probably more it's probably way closer well then yeah similarities between siblings are 50 50 it's 50 50 retards yeah what do you think it is it's 50 50 you think it's 99 like no no but it's way closer that's not even cheating bro you got that's a mix-up yeah i could fuck could fuck that. It's 50-50.

I think it's 50-50. It's 50-50. Genetic materials, 50% the same. No, that makes no sense. They're sharing 50% of their moms and 50% of their dads. They're both sharing it, so it has to be closer than 50-50. It's 50-50, dog. He's a bad guy.

It actually don't make no sense, bro. Look it up. National Geographic says about 50% you stupid fuck you stupid fuck you stupid fuck nah you was on

Boa Beach too you on Big 2 drink drink dumbasses okay let's go alright Andruski yup

I have some images of you from back in the day from when you were taking those sisters to prom okay I need you to defend them, okay? Okay, let's do it. I need you to defend why you

looked like this. Okay, you have to understand. Son, I hate that guy. You have to understand. Under the table I was wearing my clap cleats and I was about to break Dove's sister's back bone. But your boy with the long hair looking pretty as fuck. Dove looking cute.

Thank you. Not going to lie. He was looking cute. I had the fucking. You got some lips on you, dog. Son, look at the long hair beauty right there. Your boy was a beauty, bro. That's Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Son, I was like, look at the brass knuckle necklace. I got a brass knuckle necklace on. You rocked that for a minute. You rocked. I rocked that shit for a while hell yeah would you wear that same outfit son mark this is literally at your age right now you're going through your long hair phase that was me but why are you dressed like volum i did dress like volum back in the day 100 100 i mean this is wild so why did everybody have that oh that's fire we

on the west coast bro we gotta throw it up for the west you did the east coast you did the west coast oh yeah your hand and now your east coast all right i need you to defend this picture okay go do you remember this one oh yeah if i was playing guitar hero with the dick out and this is this is my apartment that i was living in new york city if you actually zoom in on that i my body is incredible i'm 100 i don't have to defend this. It defends itself. It defends itself? It defends itself.

Yo, low-key, I was thinking you look kind of broad-legged. I look good there, dude. It was close to peak. Was that peak? No. There was a peak where I was just Wolverine. Look at the curtain in the back. That's the alcohol bedroom. I had the alcohol bedroom.

There's two alcohol bedrooms. Actually, through that little door, there's a bed, if you see at the bottom. You're just hearing sex, by the way. There's no walls. It's just everyone's out. It's a commune. It's a commune in the East Village. You got a body like that.

A hundred percent. Oh, shit. Is this peak? That's not me. You look great, dog. You look great. That's not me. You have fucking trees under your armpits.

Shout out. This is pre-manscape. I don't think that's me. What are fucking trees under your armpits. Shout out. This is pre-manscape. I don't think that's me. What are you talking about, bro? That's you. I have so much chest hair. I don't have that much chest hair. That might not be him, bro.

It was your wet. Who is it? But yeah, that's me. That was me back in the day. Fucking shredded, ripped. Just working out by myself. Don't know a single thing in the gym. Just being great.

Hitting that boxing bag right there, dude. We had a boxing bag hanging in the apartment. These were the days. I don't think that's me. I don't know. I don't think that's me. It's you, but... It's you because the armpit hair is so crazy. You've never looked that good since. Hold on a second.

What are you doing? It's you. You look great, dog. You know what it is? It is actually me. Here's the thing. The pixelation makes it look like hair. You me. Here's the thing. The pixelation makes it look like hair. You almost hit yourself with the mic. Did I? Oh, drink. I didn't take a drink of it.

Hold it up. It's on the attention. Respect. Alright, explain this photo. Your boy was fucking ripped. Explain this. We were in Mexico. What are you wearing? I don't know, but what's under my eyes?

I got a cowboy hat on. Yo, you went through some phases. Yo, this is crazy. Your boy was out here living life. No,

oh my God. Is that Jameel? This is at the beach. This is at the beach. Yeah, that's probably Jameel. And this is at the beach and we were just wiling out

drinking our fucking asses off. That's my boy Josh and my boy Zach in the back right there. Oh, these are crazy. That looks like a, like a knockoff of Friday Night Lights. And you look like shitty Tim Riggins.

That is facts. All right. What is this photograph, Andrew? Can you explain this? It's a little pixelated, but you get the idea. Oh, this is our Halloween party. Oh, I was at that party. Yeah, we would throw epic Halloween parties at the apartment.

Yeah. And there was one time that- Didn't somebody die at one of them? No, he didn't die. He got a seizure. Wait, what? No, no. We would throw epic Halloween parties at the apartment. Yeah. And there was one time. Didn't somebody die? No, he didn't die. He got a seizure. Wait, what? No, no. We would throw epic Halloween parties.

Like people like pouring out the fucking apartment. It was insane. And I miss most of them because I'd be on the road. But this one, I guess I was there and I was Clark Kent. And Clark Kent? Clark Kent. That looks like white Vara. That's my boy Chris on the side.

He's wearing lederhosen. Jameel is right there. I don't know what the fuck. He's dressed as Shazam or something like that. But I think he's dressed as Shazam. I think he was a pirate or something. Is he a pirate? I think so.

I don't know. A genie? And then that's Evan Browning right there. He was Magnum P.I. I remember thinking that was a good outfit. That's true. That's 10 minutes, by the way. We got to drink.

Anyway, there was a guy who had a fucking seizure, hit his head on the radiator, was just shaking on the fucking ground. It was hilarious because there's all these people in superhero costumes just watching this person fucking die. All right. Explain this photograph, Andrew. What do you think this is?

Oh, that's me writing them jokes, boy. Where are you living? That's in my room. That was in the same apartment. But then we got doors. You got doors there? Yeah. By then they had doors. Yeah, we got doors. But got doors there? Yeah, by then they had doors.

Yeah, we got doors. But wait, what's going on? I'm just writing jokes. Just writing some jokes? Yeah, I think so. What's this one? Oh, yeah, we're just getting that cheddar. That's me, Jamil, and Chris.

Look at the fucking cargo shorts that Jamil got on. Let's go out here, breaded up with the fucking mud coffee. Oh, hell yeah, let's go. Hells yeah, dude. What is this? That is me in a Birkenstock with some dry ass feet. But I got that fixed up. I got the Jubila.

Wait, how'd you fix it? I went to the same dermatologist. Gave me the Botox. I was like, fix these feet. And then she gave me some creams. Let's see. Foot Botox? Break them shits out.

Yeah. Honestly, my bad foot. Remember how bad my bad foot was? You look like Kevin Durant. You look like Kevin Durant. Yeah, we seeing it. You're like Kevin Durant. Remember how bad my bad foot was? That's my bad foot now. Oh. Oh, shit. That's my bad foot was? You look like Kevin Durant. You look like Kevin Durant. Yeah, we've seen it. You had Kevin Durant. Remember how bad my bad foot was?

That's my bad foot now. Oh. That's my bad foot now. Remember I had one dry ass foot? So why she ain't do that to your face, bro? I know. I would have hung, right? Yeah, that foot looks amazing.

10 years younger, that foot. Yeah. That's a 22-year-old foot. That's amazing. All right, go. Next. All right, what is this one? Explain what this oh this looks

a little bit racist it is this is me doing the agent squat bro this is us in edmonton uh canada and people ever heard this joke i know we never put this joke out and then we took it down i might bring that shit back bring that shit back there's that shit back. There's nothing wrong with it. I remember that joke. I might have to bring that shit back. The story of your mom. Yeah, the story of my mom. I might have to bring that shit back, low key. All right, what else we got? All right, so far we're doing pretty good.

Can you explain this? She's a little Asian. Can you explain what this is here? Ooh. This was after a show in Orlando. This fine ass girl came up to me after the show, asked me if she could give me that throat. And it is what it is you know like i needed to oblige that's my grandma wait that was your grandma that's my actual i'm thinking about a different show

i'm thinking about a different show i think she came to new orleans or something like that those are fighting words mark i know what i gotta fight. Yeah. Don't try to do that to me. All right. What is this? Can you explain what this is? The legend. This is so funny. What is this?

You tell me, Andrew. Go down. What is this? You got to blur out those numbers in case they're still active. Oh, this is funny. What is that? Where is it? Is this a yearbook or something?

Definitely Fire Island. What is this? I mean, this is pictures frombook or something definitely fire what is this i mean this is pictures from the beach surfboard that kind of stuff i don't know i'm trying to ask you explain yourself because it seems like a dude gave you two of his phone numbers shineberg this is when you actually had a home phone how crazy is that one of those numbers my home phone the other i guess is my cell my mom is so rugged she still kept her shit she kept her in philly and still has her she brought her queen's number 718 number my parents still have a house phone yeah yeah my mom's still my mom yeah mine too i don't know what this is a yearbook

i don't know i just got a random you got the picture yeah i got a random collection of photos i was just gonna see if he was gonna explain i mean this is my handwriting 100 still to this day the same handwriting shine bird got worse actually i think honestly let me explain what this is oh that's your boy smoking that weed a little incriminated it's just some cbd yeah i'm here to cbd that's college for sure oh this will be the last one here what do you think of of that? Aww. Yeah, don't put that up there. You know that the fans are going to replace that cake with dicks. Bro, young Dove.

Can we be honest? He's a stud. Oh, shit. Where'd that shit go? Your mouth, though? Yo, son. Tell me. I'm being objective right now. Listen, let's just be objective right now. Those two kids walk up to you at a bar, a college bar. There's no way we're not getting pussy.

I'm getting drugged 100%. Wait, what? I'm being dead serious. Those two kids walk up. There's no way we're not closing. Especially if we're in a small beach town. Forget it. It's like everything's going on. There's so many different things going on. New York, LA, we got Gold Leaf in a small beach town. Forget it. We're so... It's like everything's going...

There's so many different things going on. New York, LA, we got Gold Leaf in our shirts. Yes. You know what I mean? I got long ass hair. You think I'm on some surf or shit? Then I got this New York accent. Like what?

No joke. You look like Twilight. What's his name? Edward. Edward Cullen. Rob Pattinson. I'm a Cullen, fam. You want to see Edward Cullen?

Check this out. Yo, look how skinny Jameel is when he was stealing that Asian girl, bro. Yeah, what were you guys doing? Yo, this is a squid game. That is crazy. Yo, you wanna know why I'm most grateful? That's high school, man.

This is why I'm so grateful for your girl. You're getting married in a few weeks. This is why I'm so grateful for your girl because before your girl came around, bro, you used to dress so bad. I mean mean this is unbelievable I think Akash

got shorter I look tall in that picture huh yeah you do look kind of tall yo this is crazy man I thought that outfit

kind of lit that's funny because Akash's dress is exactly the same hasn't changed you all I need to do with that outfit

is put on some nice pants you got some old man knees in that shot too but the glasses I don't know what you did with that outfit Is put on some nice pants You got some old man knees In that shot though too Pants But the glasses I don't know what you're doing The glasses True

I went through a little period With those glasses That's like the CVS joints Yeah You get Yeah I fucked up with them glasses bro That was a last minute choice I mean that was a true last minute

Okay what else What else What else Alright Okay so But the kid came fire Speaking of your girl Yeah

Those are my two pairs of Jordans Remember they got me on Brilliant Idiots? Yeah, I know. Somebody tweeted. I was watching. Somebody tweeted. Somebody tweeted.

Schultz really only got two pairs of Jordans. Yeah. And I responded personally to them. They're right up there. They're right up there. And the other ones are right there. Yeah. And I responded on Twitter, but like direct back to him.

Yeah. And I don't know if Charlamagne was like snooping my mentions or some shit but there's no reason he should see this tweet this is a private interaction back and forth but he must have been just looking or maybe it like notified him or something you know sometimes like you see interactions I still gotta understand how Twitter works cause I thought when you respond everybody sees that shit no if you respond and their

at is first only the people that follow them see the tweet and you see the tweet so what's a quote tweet quote tweet everybody can see everybody can see yeah you guys all twitter for a month he forgot how social media instagram what is it like i just click repost it's all good it's all good anyway charlamagne found that shit somehow i don't know how the fuck he found he brought that up on brilliant it's i was like god damn i thought that was a private person-to-person conversation that's your boy out here exposed for my jordan's all right what else

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you get the trial set for 70 off think about that right there they should have put that in the beginning of the ad you heard me right 70 off treat yourself this holiday season now let's get back to the show as as we know you're about to get married to a wonderful girl yep and me my friend miles and dove yesterday asked her a few questions okay to see how well you know your dearly beloved. Guarantee I get every one of these shits right. Guarantee. We got 25 questions.

Guarantee. Miles, can you keep score? Guaranteed I get every one of these shits right. Guaranteed. Okay, let's put a bet on it. Do you remember when we played heads up? No. Oh, actually, yeah, I do.

We played heads up. Let me tell you something. Heads up, me and my girl. I know whether she'll know about the thing or not, and I know how to get her to know about it. Oh, yeah, that was actually impressive. And I got to speak a different language with her because I know what she knows. No one understood what was happening. But she'd get that shit every single time.

So this game, this is light. Let's go. Okay, so what percentage do you think you're going to get right? He said 100. 100%. I won't get a single one wrong. Okay. Unless it's a trick question, then that doesn get right he said 100 100 i won't get a single one wrong okay so this is a trick question then that doesn't count all right so if you get a single one wrong yeah i'll take a drink the whole the whole drink i'll take the whole drink well i should probably take one little drink how many of these games we're gonna kill me

all right so what percentage i'll take half the drink all right and i poured a fucking big one you guys gave me double up it's basically basically a drink. All right. Go. You read it yourself. But then he also poured that fucking guy. Respect. Respect. All right. All right.

What is your dearly beloved's favorite color? Black. Correct. Damn. Where was your first date? Our first date? Yeah. Veselka.

Correct. Damn. Who wakes up first? Oh Our first date? Yeah. Veselka. Correct. Damn. Who wakes up first? Oh, she does. Correct. Who said, I love you first? I did. That's correct.

What's the longest that you couldn't shit? Two weeks. And where were you? Well, with her or with him? It was really with him. It was in Israel. You're saying the longest I couldn't shit with her Yeah, that was in Japan

Then he don't remember nothing else in his life right oh well because all my memories be with this fucking asshole And I gotta remember everything she gonna use it against me Okay, go all right. What is your beloved favorite restaurant? go all right what is your beloved's favorite restaurant oh this is important because she's a this is actually a really interesting and in fairness she said it's really tough but probably blank oh okay so she was struggling too she don't even know her own favorite restaurant like i could tell you her favorite dish in the city uh can i do can i get multiple answers for this i'm about to be drunk That's not how it works. Her favorite restaurant?

Favorite restaurant? That's tricky. That's not fair. That's not fair. That's the point of the game, dog. That's not fair. I bet you guys is 100%. Yeah, but she don't even really know her favorite restaurant. She's tapping right now.

She doesn't know her favorite restaurant. How about you give him three? And you're going to drink? Nope. Oh, damn. She don't know her favorite restaurant. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah, hold on.

Yeah, everyone hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Her favorite restaurant. Her favorite restaurant. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Stop being a bitch and answer. This is in the whole world?

Yeah. This is in the whole world? The whole entire world um you're drinking bro to start drinking do her favorite restaurant in the whole world yeah that's the question yeah this is actually not a fair question you want to come back to it? Let's come back to it. No, you got to answer that question, bro. Is it in New York or in the whole world?

I don't know. Son, answer the question. Text me the name of it. Answer the question. What game is it? It's in New York. It's in New York. Oh, that should make it easy.

I'm not giving them clues, bro. That should make it easy. Now what? Her favorite restaurant? Bro. What else do you think we asked? You want to come back? Bro, you killed Vicky again.

What's wrong with you, bro? Now answer the question, bro. That's it. That's it. Answer the question. I'll let him come back to it. I'll let him come back to it, but you got to answer it later. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Her favorite restaurant in the city. Can I get a cuisine? There's no such thing. This doesn't exist. Answer the question. Just answer the question. It doesn't exist.

This is not real. We'll get it right. We're going to come back to it. We'll circle back. We'll circle back. That's incorrect. Oh, shit. Carbone? You don't love your back. That's incorrect. Oh, shit. Wow. Carbone?

You don't love your girl. It's not Carbone. Well, it's not Carbone. This actually doesn't fit. This, this, this. Let me tell you why this doesn't make sense. He's spinning. I mean, that's why.

My man just spun himself. My man just spun himself. That's crazy. This is why it doesn't count because she can objectively. This is why it doesn't count. I'm cautious. Let's go. I'm a cop in please right now.

No, he's cop in please. He's cop in please. He's cop in please. He's cop in please. That's why it doesn't cost. Our coach is telling drugs, let's go. Well, I'm a cop in please right now. No, he's cop in please. He's cop in please. She got so many different places. Oh, she got so many different places. This is an unfair question.

He's like, how can I keep up with Mr. Pepper? He's like, come on. Okay, go, go, go, go, go. All right, where did you have your first kiss? We had it at the Globe. Wow. That's correct. Okay.

What was your beloved? Wait, Mark missed one. Who made the first move? Oh, who made the first move? I did. My nigga. That's incorrect. No.

She says that's incorrect. That's not. I told her. I told her I told her to kiss me no I mean in the relationship who made the first move to initiate combo

I thought we're talking about hooking up in the globe oh you're talking about fucking yeah no she yeah of course she slid in the DMs yeah

okay the first move is a sexual connotation which was me I made the first move okay I'm sorry that's right my bad

my bad it's okay sorry yeah it's fucking what'd you say i said uh one drink no sex i take works every time every time you double that's that's all right go all right what was uh your beloved childhood dream job ballerina that's correct yeah i knew that what is the drunkest that you two have ever been together oh shit the drunkest you gotta tell the story oh my god the uh is it paris that's correct yeah what happened uh we just got absolutely shit face we went to bar hemingway we're drinking fucking martinis we met these two people and uh they took us back to their room and we just started clearing out their mini bar just smoking fucking cigarettes in their room just ripping cigs and then drove drunk the next morning to versailles in a rented like old ass

car that vintage car i was shit face out of my mind and i might have shit the bed that morning that was probably yeah you shit the bed at their house no we got back to our slept for one hour then drove out there like literally shaking from alcohol poisoning that's what he called he's like yo dub we met this like couple like uh can we get them another like classic car like this whole yeah we tried to get them we were just drunk it was what it was drunk and having sex you were drunk in the morning too though i was drunk i was absolutely shit face where i was like shaking i was shaking on the drive that's a good time yeah and it was it was a fucking stick shift too i was like stalling it out in the middle of the paris streets people honking at me and shit at least right side

left-handed driving or like yes yes yes because in england you're on the other side doing stick you're fucking you fuck game over done i was over. Done. I was in Spain trying to learn fucking stick. Oh, man. That was the worst. I know stick, but on the other side, I can't imagine. I was on the other side fucking stalling. They're not on the other side in Spain, bro. Yeah, Spain's offside.

He was drunk. Yeah, he was. They're drunk. You were too drunk. No, they're not. Yes, they are. They're not, though. No, they're not.

He lived in Spain for a half year. Yeah, yeah. You really thought they were not? It's all good, dude. It was a cow. Yo, son, I'm on a roll. Next question. It was over 10 years ago.

Next question. Next question. It was over 10 years ago. What was the first gift that your girl ever gave to you? This is a tough one. This is a real tough one. Dun, dun, dun, dun. You might be done after this one, bro.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. He's really thinking. The first gift. Is this a birthday or is it a Christmas or something like that? What is it? I asked your girl yesterday at 7pm. I said, yo, what's the first gift you ever gave? And this is what she said. Boom.

Every time he don't know, the question's unfair. He's mad at the questions. Isn't that funny? Give me the words in a spelling bee, bro. The first gift that she gave Every time he don't know, the question's unfair. He's mad at the questions. Isn't that funny? That is kind of funny. Give me the words in a spelling bee, bro. This is why Indians always win. The first gift that she gave to me. If you repeat the question.

But enunciate it more. But enunciate it. The first gift. It is a spelling bee. Say that in a sentence. The first gift that she gave to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first gift that she gave to me. Yeah, yeah. What. The first gift that she gave to me.

Yeah, yeah. What theme song are you singing? ESPN, I think. Money Night Football. Money Night Football. So that's a theme song. Isn't that Money Night Football? Yeah.

Oh, no. I fucked that shit up. You did. Let me see here. The first gift my girl ever gave to me was i gotta really think on this can we come back to this one he's good we're coming back to this one so you get it no we came back we're coming back to the favorite restaurant gift that she ever god what is this helping you should have said 90 just to give you some wiggle room i'm still i still haven't

gotten him wrong okay all right she got it wrong't gotten it wrong. I still haven't gotten it wrong. She got it wrong. She got it wrong. The first gift that mattered, she got me a wallet. That's the first gift that mattered. What wallet? A little gooch, baby. A little gooch? Is that what she has on it? No. That's the one that I remembered. That's the one that I remembered.

The whole point is what you remember. You dumb motherfucker. That's the fucking question. No, like, yo, shoot him. It was the first gift that was good. Oh, what? What? He just said the first gift that was good.

Oh, yeah. Oh, we got a drink. No, I meant that one. Wait, what drink? What did she give you that wasn't good? No, I'm just teasing. Actually, it's been really thoughtful. I don't know if this is what she's referring to,

but she makes these books for me of these memories. That's cute. That's a cute gift. Yeah, but that probably wasn't the one they were referencing. No, it's not. That's a cute gift. Come on, break your asshole. That's a cute gift.

My girl gave me one of those. Yeah. I know, but I'm just... She's like, this is why you're great. And then she had all these things. It was really thoughtful. Yeah. I should have told her.

I owe her two for gifts right now. You're owed for two for gifts right now. No, I know. I know. I honestly can't remember the first gift she gave me. What was it? Drink your drink and then we'll answer. Yeah, yeah.

All right. We'll give him the satisfaction. She said, quote, unquote, the first gift I gave him was AirPods. He lost them 12 hours later i yelled at him it wasn't a huge fight but i was very very angry is what she said okay okay is that true i forget it's like i forgot where i put them fucking airpods That's a good thing about me forgetting this I forget our fights and shit too Yeah that's smart

That amnesia works Those are the airpods that were trying to connect to everyone's phone That might be it I still got them Alright I asked your girl What is Andrew's most used phrase What do you think she said Let's go

Did she say that Really Drink again what do you think she said let's go did she say that no that's not what she said really chocolate dandelion yeah no drink again chocolate dandelion

she did say 100% that's not what she said drink again chicken tenda you already got it wrong that's not the same thing bro it's not the same thing

they literally are the same thing no it's not bro what are you talking about chicken tenders turn into chicken tenda turn into chocolate dandelion motherfucking latin turn into english they're not the same thing. It's the same thing. No, it's not, bro. What are you talking about? Chicken tenders turn into chickity dandy turn into chocolate dandelion. Motherfucking Latin

turned into English. They're not the same thing. That was a good ass answer. I got you dead. That was mad good. In the moment, like with all the speed and shit, that was fucking good.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah. But chocolate dandelion, 100%. That counts as a dub. That's a dub. No, bro. You got that

as your second answer. Well, here's the thing. That's not a real word. Oh, Jesus%. That counts as a dub. That's a dub. No, bro. You got that as your second answer. Well, here's the thing. That's not a real word. Oh, Jesus Christ. You said a saying. What is going on? Yo, I'm going to shoot myself. That shit sucks.

But no, I got that right. Chocolate dandale. I got that right. Oh, man, bro. All right, all right. That was his second answer. That's a dub. That's a dub.

That was his second answer. That's a dub. That's a dub. You got to step it up, bro. What was his first answer? Let's go. His first answer was let's go. Let's go. That's an dub. That's a dub. That was his second answer. That's a dub. That's a dub. You gotta step it up, bro. What was his first answer? Let's go. His first answer was let's go. That's an actual saying.

Yeah, but it was a saying. Let's go. Then it was chocolate dandale. Chocolate dandale is chickadee dende. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's different. Yo, shut the fuck up before I shoot you in the tooth.

This shit gonna stick right in your tooth. All right, go. Next one. All right, we got a couple easy ones and we're gonna get some wild ones okay go

first of all you're not doing that great yeah you ain't doing that great I'm killing this shit right now you were at first I was worried 100 for 100

who spends more time who spends more time on social media oh I do yeah it's not even close alright who's got the quote unquote

wilder family oh she does. Yeah, that's correct. All right. What adjective describes Andrew in the bedroom? This is what I asked her this question. This is what she gave me an answer. She gave me one adjective.

An adjective. Is apologetic an adjective? It actually is. Is it? Is it? Apologetic. Now, what describes me in the bedroom? Yeah, what do you think she said?

You're brought to be. This is funny. I also joined the student life, bro. You're an asshole. That's funny. That's a great question. Who's calling me an asshole? I got you.

All right. No, let's see. Quick. Is quick an adjective? Is quick an adjective? Is quick an adjective? I think it's an adverb, technically. It's an adverb, quickly? It's an adverb, technically.

That's an adverb. No, don't shoot me. What are you putting in there? That's a great question. In the bedroom? Quick is an adjective. Yeah, quick is an adjective. Quickly is an adverb.

Okay, yeah. So what's your final answer? Swift. Just a dominating force of nature. so far, all these are wrong. You're 0 for 6 right now.

Okay, but no, no, let me just actually say my actual final answer. my actual answer and then you'll drink again like a little bitch.

In the bedroom? Yeah, yeah. Spitting in your mouth a lot and also, now you don't like that anymore, so more, just never do that again

put in the beginning put up with it probably because you wanted me to like you a lot that's just so annoying bro yeah i know like yeah i actually don't like that yeah i love all that stuff and then you don't and now we're married But let me think. Reel the adjective. In bed? Dog, I hate that you do this. I hate that you do this. I just want to make sure I'm understanding this.

What is my... How did you get through school? We're talking about sex. How did you take the SAT? We're talking about sex or not? What do you think we're talking about this whole time? We could be sleeping. What did you say?

Apologetic? What is the... Hey, I spent most of my time doing other things in bed. You know what I mean? Okay. So listen. So what are we talking about here? We're talking about the intercourse.

Are we talking about intercourse? That was the implication, but I said in the bedroom. So she assumed that's what I assumed. The question I asked her is what adjective describes Andrew in the bedroom? That's the question I asked. Unprotected. Unprotected. Okay. is what adjective describes Andrew in the bedroom? That's the question I have. Unprotected. Unprotected. What adjective

describes me in the bedroom? Not often. Is that an adjective? Let me just tell you. Let me just say it. Take a real guess. This is a real guess. What I what I think it is, is. Can I have one?

That was like really close. Yeah, I know. You need more? Yes, please. Pass it over. Let me think about the answer. What adjective describes me in the bedroom? Yeah.

Oh, God. She's like a caring um considerate lover um really sweet here pass that over really sweet and kind lover considerate lover you want to go back to this one yeah let's circle back to that one uh fast i don't know fast what did she say her answer was lazy i get it yo because i'm on my back yeah you know that's how she uh what's the strategy that's how she climaxes bro like if you're gonna climax on your back i'm gonna going to be on my back. We're trying to get you out of here.

What are you doing in there? I'm on my back. Can you show us a little? I'm doing it. This is me during sex until you climax, and then your boy goes to town. Your boy goes to town. I don't argue with this. I'm not.

If you know that that's the answer. If I'm on top and I give three really hard, passionate pumps, I'm nutting. Real hard, passionate, grab your shoulders and shit like that. You got to play to win. You got to play to win. I think I know what you mean. These guys are like, yo, I just want to spend more time with you. You know, I just want to spend more quality time.

Yeah. Why you cock that? I don't know. Because you might need to get shot. All right, next one. Don't cock that hammer. Next one. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I got to make sure your

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And use the code flagrant at checkout and you're going to get 10% off your order. Okay. That's G-A-M-E-R-S-U-P-p-s dot gg now let's get back to the show all right all right we're gonna circle back to some other ones but what's the grossest thing andrew has ever done no no no let's go let's go let's go do that one all right all right all right i'll use this one first what's the strangest place that you all have ever made love the strangest place that we've ever made love yeah the strangest place yeah you want dumb to go first where what's the craziest place you and a girl in this place you're made love in the car wash like the self-serve car wash that's actually fire yeah

for years i've done that really yeah thank you the strangest car when you get to stay in the car and all of a sudden shit like that and then you guys get through the sun you know you you don't finish but you start up you gotta do it smash your like head yeah both the strangest thing girl but it depends when i don't know yeah but that's strange But why the car why Just because it's visually stimulating Because you're in public but nobody can see you

You know what I mean So you want to have sex in public but you don't In college it was always public Wait what's your crazy That's the craziest place you've ever made love Come on Brad you can't act There's just too many places. Stop.

Hey, give us a couple examples. Restaurant bathrooms. That's not it. A church. Really? A church is easily the wildest. That's disrespectful, dog. That's disrespectful.

The inside or on the outside? Jesus ain't get no pussy and you did? No, the bad, the bad. Jesus' mom ain't get no pussy and you did? Come on, bro. Oh, God. Thank you. Thank you, bro. Thank you. I had to do it for God. Yeah, bro. He black? Come on, bro. Thank you, bro.

I had to do it for God. He black famous, bro. She's cool. She's cool. She's cool. Remember when Del went all in on her? Where's the elevator? You shooting up church walls?

No, that's fucked up. I was in the bathroom of a church. Oh, respect. Said I should be born. I was Catholic. That shit is... That's what that girl was doing. She'd be madly. born. I was Catholic. That shit. That's what that girl was doing. I should be madly.

Beach. The beach is cool. Beach? Yeah, the beach is cool. What beach? I don't see that strange. Fire Island. His beach one time.

Wait, who was the guy? Oh, with the dude, huh? Nah, nah, nah. Okay, honestly, I don't know the craziest place. What about a Japanese Ryukun or whatever? Wait, what? You had sex in Ryukun like one of them places like them little fucking yeah let's go i did all that shit decades we stayed in a ryukun

respect and then we i think we had sex on that shit her age is mad pickle vegetables one or the other all right. What's the craziest place we had sex? That's 10 minutes. We gotta drink. What's the craziest place? You're not doing well in this game. It's going down. I started off with heat. She gonna be happy. Her answer was...

So I said made love. She said, haha, made love. But nothing crazy, dot, dot, dot. The kitchen counter, question mark. Oh. Okay, okay. Is that the kitchen counter we ate at? Yeah.

Thanksgiving? That's where the stuffing was? No, I think she's talking about. He was the one doing the stuffing, bro. Yeah. Yeah. The new studio is she talking about. I christened it first.

What are you talking about? Oopsie. you think you did yo it's all good dog you got that sloppy sex okay next all right what's the grossest thing andrew has ever done around you oh that's a fucking tough one bro come on son there's so many uh probably so many a shit in a bed dude that bed I shit in a bed dude that's the guess literally shit in a bed

next to her if that's not the worst this is crazy I'm farting I bite my toenails I like I mean come on dude it's nonsense

I pick my nose like crazy feed it to the dog you're like a puppy she adopted it's really true it's really true you're like a shelter dog she adopted

but if the shit in your bed isn't the grossest I don't want to know what it is what's the answer she said it's tied for two okay you got one of them correct okay that was the shit in the bed yeah and then the other one that's something that's oh i scratched my ass and then smell my fingers that's correct oh okay you told them gang gang gang you're mensa it's crazy i know he's got that bro i'm out here i know all this shit yeah i love my girl all right who would last longer on a deserted island? Oh, her.

Yeah, easily. That's correct. She's resourceful. Yeah. She figured out all these different things. I'd be calling y'all. Mark, how you start a fire? Yeah, that's the way some words go.

All right. What's the first trick, y'all? Drink your drink, Mark. Drink your fucking drink. Yo, you too. You too. You too. It's right here.

Thank you, dog. Thank you right here. Thank you, dog. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Love you, God. All right. What was the worst travel experience you two have ever had together? I think I know this one. Yeah, I think I know this one.

The food in Egypt. What happened? It was just awful. Trash. The food in Egypt. We didn't like the food there. The worst travel experience. We didn't like the food there. The worst travel experience. We didn't like the Ryuken

in Tokyo either. Wait, what was wrong with the Ryuken? It was just fucking, we just didn't eat it. We need a little more luxury. We need a little more luxury. What do you mean?

It was like they're trying to recreate the world. luxury we need a little more luxury what do you mean it was like they're trying to recreate the worst travel experience but i loved egypt man i thought it was so fucking cool but the worst travel experience are we talking about out of the country or in the country no it's important technically the answer is out of the country okay i know this if he gets it wrong i think I'll answer He talked about it on the podcast He talked about it on the podcast I think I know what it's going to be

Am I off here? I don't know I wonder how honest she's going to be The final day of Japan Wait That's not So specific But I want to know if she was honest with you

it would be the final day of japan because i remember you saying you y'all was arguing i was done what can you tell me i was done with everything japanese by then i didn't even call ueda for a month after that i did it bro like i was done i had enough like i remember i had pizza the last day. I was like, I need something kind of American. You're wrong, yo. I think I know what it is. What do you think it is? Is it flying back from Mexico?

Oh, that doesn't count. That doesn't count. How I knew. That was my favorite. That was my favorite. Can you say what happened? She's throwing up in the bathroom. She's sitting on the floor of the bathroom in a fucking airplane. You you say what she's gonna answer when she's throwing up in the bathroom and she's sitting on the floor

in the bathroom in a fucking airplane you gotta think what she's gonna answer and I closed the door so I could laugh really

I thought she was saying a shared experience that we thought was whatever but I was dying laughing at that shit come on you know ain't no wife gonna

talk about a shared experience shared experience y'all said you guys have ever had that doesn't that doesn't count yeah That doesn't count. That's what she said.

Yeah. No, that doesn't count. Yeah. All right, go on next, but I got that one right. Because if she ain't happy, you can't be happy. I got that one right because it's cat. I'll give it out. It's cat.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's cat. No, his answer was he was done with everything Japanese. That ain't a shared experience either. But I... You fucking... No, but...

God damn it. Ah, bitch. You hit the mic. I heard it. Oh, you can't shoot a game Right after you miss He answered it the same way You missed me bitch

Remember that Remember that From the list Eddie Murphy right He answered it the same way She did Yep No

What was Yeah he answered Like a woman But I didn't say why He answered like a woman I didn't say why Nah because Our last day

We got into a big ass fight Cause I was done with Japan, and I just went to the pool and chilled. Sorry about that. And then she came to the pool, and I just started swimming laps. I don't even swim like that, bro. I think I might have been in jeans. It's not a travel fight.

I need some time to myself. Travel fights are where it's at. So that is what I would say was our worst shared experience, but okay, next one. All right, what was the first trip you ever took together? Japan. She says that's incorrect. But okay, next one. All right. What was the first trip you ever took together? Japan. She says that's incorrect. Ooh. Define trip.

I hate you, y'all. Come on. Stop with that bullshit. Yo, it's like bitching. Yo, you're off. If she wants to talk about. Yeah, like that's it. Okay, if she wants to talk when we went to fucking New Paltz or whatever like that, that's

fine. And then I said I love you at the end of the trip. That probably concerns her. Oh, yeah. That's kind of a trip. That's a trip. Dumbass. New Paltz. Is that the answer? I trip that probably oh yeah that's kind of a trip that's a trip dumbass new pulse is that is that but is that the answer she says our first trip was upstate

new york new pulse and then tokyo okay but literally tokyo is a trip if you said oh yeah oh yeah oh oh if we go on upstate if we go to pokémon We went to Jersey. We went to fucking, what's it called? Commons. We bought a cheap shit. Hell yeah. Let's go.

And then we balled out. Ain't no trip. $50,000 in Woodbury Commons. A trip is a flight. A trip ain't no drive. A trip is a flight. Nah, a trip is a trip. A trip ain't no drive. A trip is a flight. Nah, a trip is a trip. A trip ain't no drive, bro.

If you go on a ski resort someplace, Poconos, that's a trip. That's not a trip. That's a trip. That's a trip. Three days away, that's a trip. He's actually right. I'm not going to say it to fuck you. The fact that she has to even mention Tokyo as well is that she knows that ain't no fucking trip. He gets partial credit. He gets partial credit. Nah, you get an knows that ain't no fucking trip. He gets partial credit. He gets partial credit. Nah. He gets partial credit.

Nah, you get Airbnb and it ain't a fucking trip. It's a little cute-ass Airbnb. Grow up. You know what I mean? Four seasons. Ooh. That's what I'm talking about.

We ain't stay there. But it's cool, though. We ain't stay there. Expensive-ass spot. We went in that bitch. All right. Now I'm going that, bitch. All right. Now I'm going to circle back, all right? What's your girl's favorite restaurant?

Oh, we never answered this one? No. You just got it wrong. Yo, Miles. I was talking shit. Miles is salty in the corner, bro. I like it. I could give you her favorite restaurants per food group,

but I can't tell you her overall favorite restaurant. It's so annoying. Just get the answer wrong so we can find out what the right answer is. I want to know the right answer. We get it. You love your wife. Now fucking get it wrong. Jesus Christ.

Y'all acting like this is my idea. All right, let's see. Y'all acting like I decided to do this. Y'all acting like you over this game. It's your game. You guys decided to do this Like you over this game. It's your game You guys decided to do it I'm playing the game Can I get it right? I'm married My girl gonna be listening to this while I'm surfing in Brazil I come out in the fucking water

She gonna be pissed off for no goddamn reason Cause I don't know the fucking restaurant we have sex in Lazy, talk about lazy talk about lazy talk about lazy okay okay i'll be real active you're not gonna die okay i'll be real active lazy hilarious another human being sit on you? Let another motherfucking human being sit on you? That's lazy? You're bearing the weight of a whole human being? That's lazy to you?

That's lazy to you? That's fucking lazy to you? Fuck out of here. You know what I mean? Bearing the whole weight The whole weight Of another motherfucking Human being

The whole team Is on my Mother Fucking Stomach This whole goddamn Fucking time Come on now

That's ridiculous You would call me lazy That is hilarious Me lazy I gotta bring you up on me With the silky I gotta bring you on me in the silky i gotta bring you on me with the silky i do rag activity right there let's go

let's go i tell you listen i'm not playing around bro i literally i'm out here you all the way over here leaned up over there on your fucking pillow i gotta scoop under you you think i'm going on top so i gotta fight that get you back on top of me and then what On your fucking pillow. I got a scoop under you Gotta fight that get you back And then what then it's pipe time Then it's Mario Brothers, baby We in the second board Sorry Yeah I'm sorry. No, no, but for real.

Favorite restaurant. Yeah, favorite restaurant. Let's say it's Mexican. Give me a little, you guys. Let's say it's Mexican. Oh, I got it. That's easy. That's easy.

Ready? Ready? Ready? Stay right there, Al. Stay right there, Al, because you're about to do that. I knew you was going to do that. Stay right there. Okay?

Stay right there. You ready? Her favorite restaurant in New York City, okay,. She says I'm lazy after paying the bill and then laying on my back after having fucking Mexican food full to the brim. Yo, it's 10 minutes. You gotta drink. Son, you got the light from the fucking timer. It cut you off.

Yo, smoke something. Honestly, this is my bad for not getting this. This is my bad for not getting this. We know. I fucked up Yeah we know I fucked up on this one There's only one question I can admit

That I actually fucked up on this one Yeah you fucked up It's Cosme But You right You right The only reason Why

Why is that Why I didn't think of that Is because I don't love my wife No no No no no No The only reason why I didn't think of that shit Is because I was so caught up in this like International places that we went to no no no no no no the only reason why i didn't think of that shit is because

i was so caught up in this like international places that we went to but cosme is her favorite restaurant regardless of flex it's facts bro we'd be international yeah you know when you're taking her across state lines taking her to new paltz new york bro home of suny newport storm king i took my girl to Storm King. That was the first place we went. Did you put her right under that big ass structure? I just prayed to God, bro. That it would fall?

Yeah. There's a kill your girlfriend thing. Yeah, it's like King Arthur's sword in the stone, but opposite. No. Yeah, you put her under the stone. If it crushes her, then you're free. That's what, yes. But he takes the sword out of the stone. Yeah, it crushes it, then you're free. Ah, that's what, yes. But he takes the stone, he takes the sword out of the stone.

Yeah, and he's king. It's the opposite. But that don't make him king. Yeah, it does. No, it just makes him have that sword forever. No, son, Excalibur, that makes him king. That don't make him king, brother. The king is the king still.

No, he's the chosen one. That means whoever can take that shit out is the chosen one. So what happens to the king that's been kinging? He just gotta go, oh, shit. He gotta retire just because this motherfucker can take a sword out as a chosen one. So what happens to the king that's been kinging? He just gotta go, oh, shit. He gotta retire just because this motherfucker could take a sword out of his stone? Yo, Al's shirt's been on this whole time. I didn't notice, man.

It's dark. You dark? I got it right, Al. Cosme, favorite restaurant. That's a no-brainer. Easy. I'm the actor who told him the food group. Yeah.

Yeah. If you said, where'd I propose to my wife, then I would know. That wasn't the question. I clearly knew it enough I propose to my wife, then I would know. That wasn't the question. I clearly knew it enough to propose to her there. Okay, go on. All right. All right.

What was the worst date you guys ever had? Oh, yeah, yeah. She got to say Cosme when he proposed. Is that where he proposed? Yeah. That's what he just said. I respect. All right.

The worst date. The worst date that we ever had? And I asked her this, so keep that in mind. Like, what was the worst date for her? For her. Kind of like the worst travel experience for her. The worst date. She was shooting her brains out on a flight, and you were like, I was upset with Japan.

I got you. The worst date we ever had. I said, baby, you want to come see daddy do some stand-ups? I think you're right. I think you're right. You want to see daddy do some stand-ups? I think you're right. She said, yeah, I want to see daddy do some stand ups She said yeah I wanna see daddy do some stand ups

I said okay baby I gotta show the comic strip live And then what'd you say I said why don't we before we do that show Why don't we go get some Japanese food Right across the street with my guy You know what I'm saying my guy be cooking up the fire Japanese food never been sick once

Me So we go have some Japanese food Me never been sick once me yeah that's light so we go have some japanese food once me me never been sick once me young yoda on the track i speak english okay speak that giji right now let's go so we go have some japanese food your boy scars down the japanese food no No big deal. Shorty, order some dumb shit. Order some dumb shit. I know this shouldn't be a surprise,

but it hit his nose. Shorty eats some sushi. Doesn't tell your boy that it's immediate food poisoning. We go across. She's sitting in my set, not laughing at all. You know what I mean? She's just sitting there holding her stomach. I'm like, is she dying laughing?

You got mad because she wasn't laughing? No, I didn't get mad at all. She just sitting there like literally has severe food poisoning. And she'd be getting food poisoning, sensitive stomach, having ass. You know, anytime I try to culture this woman, bro, she'd be throwing up for no reason. You don't want to talk I'm out here

I fart it out I don't throw it up That is respect But am I right What happened She be fucking throwing up and shit like that Non stop Her worst experiences Both were just her having Just her throwing up and shit like that non-stop her worst experiences both were just her having

just her throwing up yeah so this is her full answer right andrew took me to the comic strip and his favorite sushi spot and then we went back to the comic strip and i felt really dizzy and we were in the uber and i was like i don't feel good and he walked me into the building and in the building lobby i vomited all over myself not in the lobby you walk into the building and in the building lobby i vomited all over myself not in the lobby you walk into the building and then they have a little outside place for your dog to piss and shit and we just opened that door and she threw up right there and she said that was our fourth our fourth date yeah respect what a sweet girl for watching you perform feeling sick as shit oh that's i thought that was the illest yeah Yeah. Wait, really? Yeah, man. She's about to throw up, sitting there trying to thug it out. Man, those days were dope, man.

When your girl be lying about who she is. Like, those days are so far. Okay, what else? All right. I asked her, what is your favorite quality about Andra? Hmm. Money. I'd be rich as fuck I'd be rich as fuck

just paying for trips and restaurants and all that shit oh that's a nice post from Blizzard Peppers you know how much it costs chill you know how much it costs

for that post what are you doing you know what I'm saying just take a picture online of the fucking restaurant post that shit as soon as they got rings let's be honest what he said I said I post that shit. as soon as they got rings. Let's be honest.

What he said in here. He said, I watched that listening as soon as they got rings. As soon as they got rings, bro. I don't need to give a fuck about this anymore.

No, no, no, no. What is my moat? What did she say? She said, my favorite thing about Andrew is his kindness and his generosity. Yeah.

That's basically what I said. It kind of is, Loki. It kind of is what I said. I was right, so we're going to give me the W on that one. Alright, what's your girl's favorite day of the week? Who got a favorite? Never mind.

Right, though? Who got a favorite day of the week? Most people? Thank God it's Friday. Where do you think that came from? It's a whole restaurant. Dumbass? Yeah, dumbass. You don't agree with me.

Nah, you're an idiot. Don't shoot my friend. Jesus. Hey, don't shoot my friend. Hold on. What is it? That's a lot of weed. Oh, shit.

That's all good. For no reason. Come on. Nah on you had that coming you've been talking man yeah yo fuck miles yeah fucking dickhead okay um what is my girl's favorite day of the week yeah hmm yeah one to seven chance what you have a one to seven chance i guess no but there's probably a reason why one is the favorite day. And it's Tuesday because that is date night. That's correct. He crushes. That's correct.

And then what was your favorite day that you two have spent together? In my whole life? Mm-hmm. Hey, in her whole life? In her whole life or in my whole life? Yeah, yeah. In y'all's whole lives in ours whole lives look at that

matrix I'm out I'm out of bullets Shifty's drunk bro yo Shifty chill my, bro. Yo, Shifty, chill. My most favorite day that I... Oh, thank you, good sir.

My most favorite day that I... Thank you, good sir. I feel mad, Nick. I mean, our engagement day was great. Mm-hmm. I love our engagement. Our favorite day.

I mean, there were days in Japan that were so fucking cool. Morocco was just... I have a lot of favorite days. That's nice. That's beautiful. I have a lot of favorite days. Why do you hate him? Because he's single-ass.

He's a single-ass dude. Fuck you, dude. You'd be alone forever. Why are you so accurate with me when you shoot that thing? It's easier to target. Oh, my God. I got him up for the right in his forehead. Yeah, fuck you, dove. That's fucked up, man, trying to love his fiance.

You ain't let that shit happen. Hold on. Let me think. Favorite fucking day. Can you give me a little bit? No. Oh, come on. No.

Whichever one that comes to your mind first. You said you're going to be 100 your mind 100 yeah bro that's true you said you'd be 100 you've been mad far off you already lost so what be honest what's your favorite day you're barely passed in public school right now nah so that's 65 so you're coming close to that line no i got this easy this is like um my favorite day with my fiance. Just like the best day ever. I'm trying to think. This is just the best day ever. Just being so excited.

Just enjoying it so much. Your boy needs an inhaler. I'll tell you that shit. I'll give you mouth to mouth. I'm going to be all right. I'll give you mouth to mouth. Can we give him a hint? Yes, give me a hint.

Give me a hint. It's the day you proposed. What do you think it is? Just say what your favorite day is. I'll give me a hint. Give me a hint. It's the day you proposed. What do you think it is? Just say what your favorite day is. I'll say her favorite day. Give me a hint. Because the day I proposed is not my favorite day. She started a fucking fight that morning, dumbass.

She almost didn't get proposed to that night. I remember you talking about that on the podcast. I'm holding this shit in my pocket, this big-ass fucking box. I'm like, you are fucking retarded right now to fight with me. Big box. Big box. Yeah, the big box. Big box this big ass fucking box. I'm like, you are fucking retarded right now to fight me. Big box. Big box. Big box. We got the ice bag.

Real talk. But don't disrespect it. Because that shit costs way more than a watch. Miles, give me a hint. Don't ruin it. What was your favorite day? Just be honest. I ain't got no favorite days, bro.

But she's not in a bad mood. Be vulnerable with us. What was your favorite day? Be honest. I ain't got no favorite days, bro. But she not in a bad mood. Be vulnerable with us. What was your favorite day? So like two days. Be vulnerable. What was your favorite day? No, but just throw something out because you might get it. And then I'll be way better.

You got a drink. Hurry up. Let's take a drink. Let's take a fucking drink. Take one little sip. How are you going to search it out? I don't know, my G. I don't know. G I don't know

You fucked up You're not allowed to drink water I threw it at Dove Give him some more sundaes That motherfucker not drinking he not part of it Can I have my cup back out of respect You threw your cup at him What happened when I was

He was being a huge cuck What was your favorite day that you guys spent together? Come on, bro. Man, I want to get this right. No, just be honest. No, it's not about honesty. It's like I want to tap in... The whole thing is about honesty.

No, no, no, no. It's not about me not wanting to be dishonest. What I'm saying is I'm trying to tap into like a feeling that I had and I remember specific days where I was like,

oh, this is the fucking best. And so I'm trying to lock in exactly where we were. But what was that for you? Just be personal. Well, it's not about me getting it right. I don't get credit for when I'm right. I get credit for figuring out what she's thinking for you. Wouldn't it be great if you got the same

day that she's thinking about? Yeah, that's a good point. It would be great. And then we could just edit out. I'm going to give you a little hint. No, no, no. First you answer, Al. It'd be great. And then we could just edit out. I'm going to give you a little hint. I'm going to give you a little hint. Give me a little hint. No, no, no. First you answer, then I give you a hint.

Give me a little hint. First answer, then I'll give you a hint. Hers is technically in the future. Oh, come on. How am I supposed to guess that? No, that's so easy. That's the biggest thing ever. Her favorite day that she ever spent with you.

You want to know? Divorce day? Our divorce? Half day? Half day. That's a half day. That's a half day. Yo, my wife got a half day coming no no

to it our wedding day she said the day that she gets to spend forever with you what a sweet girl man and she went on to say andrew how lucky we are to have found one another to look forward to every minute we have together to every day to every laugh you are one of a kind and i'm so happy to call you mine that's beautiful yo mark teared up a little bit if y'all weren't here i would cry yeah but y'all are here so i choose violence okay no uh my favorite day she better not repeat them bars in the bowels though this is yeah yeah she better yeah all material no the uh what i would say one of my favorite days i can't say it's the favorite day one of my favorite days when we were flying to japan we uh we watched avengers and both avengers together and we watched it in the same seat because we

use mad points and shit like that to get like a little firsty going and then she just sat in the seat with me and the Japanese people they're so like they don't want conflict so they just let two people sit in the same seat for six hours straight and how'd you both hear it? One headphone each

and subbies subtitles also I know what they're saying and there's not a lot of dialogue in that movie fam How'd you both hear it? One headphone each. And subbies. Subtitles. Also, I know what they're saying. And there's not a lot of dialogue in that movie, fam. Hulk smash. Nah, wait. One headphone each? That don't make sense, bro.

That don't make sense. Why not? Son, like, you can't stretch the joint. Yeah, you can use your own headphone. Are you absolutely retarded? Yo, Al's retarded. No, you can't use your own headphone. Are you absolutely retarded right now?

You cannot use your own headphone. Yeah, but what they gave you can't use your own headphones. You cannot use your own headphones. Yeah, but what they gave us wasn't those. What they gave? Oh, no, we had a splitter. Oh, okay, okay. See? Stupid. We had a splitter.

Oh, yeah, motherfucker. You get one, motherfucker. What you mean, man? Shit, man. Dude, what you been doing this last month? Eating? I'm sitting down You gotta

I'm gonna take out That gut right now Let's go Let's go Sitting down Sitting down That's different Yo

Oh shit Alright here we go So Alright was that the last question That was it I got that right So how many How many I got right

Alright Do you have his total Yeah it's like 20 and a half. Maybe out of 25. I'm gonna give me 21 out of 25. Oh, that's 80%.

Who's team you're on? You B minus. You B minus, dog. Yo, come on, man. Give him 21,

21. That's still B minus. I think I got 21 out of 25. I think that's fire. Yes. A lot of hints. That's 84, I think,

right? He said a lot of hints. He's a hater this guy dude okay what else I'm afraid to not get them right I want my girl to think I love her alright we stop down for a second is that what you're saying oh that's the end of the podcast okay listen guys how many hours have we gone for we've gone for two you got any marriage advice for you yeah what i would like

before i get out of here how can we help you how can we help you i would like marriage advice from the gentlemen that have been married and i want to know how to change their lives and the things that i should look out for and i mean that seriously but also we're gonna have fun with it obviously but i do mean that seriously i actually think in a life like ours where it's always so hectic this is it makes things easier you i feel like your relationship is the least hectic it's been since y'all been married yeah marriage has been great because there's no first of all there's no uncertainty like every small thing y'all ever get into it doesn't mean anything like whatever this will sort itself out we're together forever we got time you get these little small fights you get annoyed early on a relationship when you're in a

fight you're fucking oh my god what's gonna happen how do i make this right okay be mad now you're mad i'm mad we're mad we'll be all right we have our whole lives to figure it out so i don't stress any of that shit i think she stresses it less and then in the lifestyle where you're everything is like not structured kind of as much as you try to structure your day you're traveling to a different place every weekend you're doing different things in the pod you got different whatever this is one thing that is static and secure and always there i think marriage helps in like in this lifestyle yeah big time yeah that stability is amazing and then on the wedding day there's gonna be so much shit going on so many

people trying to get your attention people that flew in trying to talk to you. Make time for her. Pull her aside. Like when all the craziness is going on, be like, yo, can I just have a dance with you just alone? You and me? Swag. That's far.

I wish you told me that shit. The fuck was that advice last year? That's the swaggiest thing you've ever said. Just don't forget that it's for her. And that it's her day. That no matter who else is there and what's going on, the most important thing is that you guys are spending time together. That's great advice, man. That's great advice.

Yeah, I wish I got that shit. You did a lot. I think you were great on your wedding. Yeah, you remember. It's her special, dog. It really is. It's her special. It really is, man.

So as much as you're there, you're there for her. And it's honestly so much, especially Indian weddings, so many functions. So stressed. So fucking annoyed. But those days, the amount of love that you're going to get and you're going to feel, it's like, it really is the best days of your life. Yeah. It's so weird because, like, I was selling this to, I think, I was selling this to Mark the other day. Like, I don't like, I know it's going to sound crazy, but I don't like i know it's gonna sound crazy but i

don't like forced attention yes i know i like earned attention yes so like i don't believe i deserve attention just because i was born this day right right yeah you don't fuck a birthday i don't like birthdays for that reason it's like why are you gonna fake like me today like oh you really like me extra today because my birthday yeah yeah the calendar told you i agree fuck that i didn't do anything to be here well maybe i did i guess yeah you swam i swam the fastest fast got on that egg survivor hell yeah yeah i remember that shit i was all up in my mom oh you're right let me chill out but like so i don't love forced attention in that way. I like being on stage where I get to give the audience something and they enjoy it and I get to see them laugh

and then their laughter makes me go, okay, it's worth them paying attention to me. And if they laugh so hard they're like crying or some shit, I'm like, oh, wow, I'm getting extra. Like that's awesome. This is like the icing on the cake, you know? So with the wedding or with like a birthday, I'm like, all these people are coming out

and they're doing this thing just for me. And like, I don't get it. It feels weird. And so like, I guess there's part of me that's like, I want the wedding to be really fun so that we can all really enjoy this shit. And like, you guys get something out of it. No.

But I have to also think that like, this is for her her she's been dreaming about this since she's a kid it's for her than you it's for y'all yeah you know what i mean so you just enjoy it yeah people are gonna want to love you and that's cool that's why they're there but maybe i gotta look at it like this is a safe time for people to show love dude it's amazing yeah and they will i kissed this guy on the cheek 12 times on my wedding day you gave me tongue none you remember that i kissed you on the cheek too al wouldn't let me homophobic homophobic be sucking fingers though he gave me some molly i put some molly on my lips you had a fucking such a right no i guess i guess what it's like it's like um maybe i have to look at it that way and like some people they need an excuse to be

honest about the way they feel about you. Like when I was on Molly, I get to tell my friends how I really feel about them all the time. And that is how I feel about them all the time. But it just feels like, I don't know, sometimes it feels uncomfortable. It feels inorganic. In a wedding, it's organic to do that. Yeah. So maybe I look at it like that.

Like here's this opportunity where people get to celebrate you. Yep. And it's weird to just do that on a regular day but now they also have the excuse to do that and i have a different perspective on weddings after having a wedding you haven't had it yet well no like playing in that shit like well technically i have but like i hated weddings before i was like do y'all want me to even go to your wedding like i was like i just thought it was a nuisance to even be like what do you mean i know i i was like i don't need to go and i didn't yeah you did it yeah but then i started realizing like for you specifically i was like this is a really important thing like culturally yeah and your religion and your culture is very important

to you so i was like i that so that's important to me because it's important to you so i wanted to be there and um i did film an ad outside and you're selling my boogie spot i was selling my boogie right outside yeah promo code what uh flagrant no but uh but no like i was like okay that's important to you so i'll go but when it comes to i don't't know, it was like weird. Like obviously you, I was like, I don't know. Do I need to be there? Is it like, what is the point? It's just like a stupid party. But now I see like when people aren't able to come, like some of my girl's family can't come.

And I'm just like, and I see that how that affects my girl. Yeah. And I'm like, oh fuck, that's how people feel. Yeah. Like they take it as like, they're not important enough. I don't know if you interpret it. That same thing like, oh, fuck. That's how people feel. Yeah. Like they take it as like they're not important enough. I don't know if you interpret. That same thing happened to me. OK.

I didn't realize that weddings were important until I had one. OK. And then I was like, yo, every wedding I go to, I'm going to dance till the very end. Yeah. Like I'm going to be I'm going to do my best. When people left my wedding early and they're like, yeah, we got to work in the morning. Got to go. Like, what does that mean?

That sucks. Yeah. But with the people that stayed all the way to the very end, I was like, yo, that's dope. So every wedding I go to, I'm like, yo, I'm on the dance floor. I'm getting everyone hyped up. I'm the last one to leave. And you don't realize it until after you have a wedding. And you're like, damn, I wish this is how people behaved at my wedding.

Yeah. And then you get to pay it forward. Also, can I say something about y'all? Yeah, say it. This dope is like, I don't know how to phrase this in a way that's not disrespectful why are you gonna be disrespectful like y'all are my girl's friends too yeah of course my girl's friends are my girl's friends the venn diagram goes one way yeah okay i got you you know what i'm saying like she even said

to me once she at the wedding she before when she was like she was like yo when we do this wedding she's like yo don't go out like do drugs without me like let's make a rule and i was like you know me with rules like if you give me a rule i'm gonna break it i don't i do not do well with rules if you give me freedom i fly back i'm like one of them birds that like go seasonally and shit like i'm gonna come back to the nest no matter what if you give me freedom i'll come back yeah but if you give me a rule i have to break it and she's like fine it's just like you're you and your friends are gonna have all all the fun and like because we're fun yeah yeah and we also got years on a lot of not all of us we got years but i'm like we're my titty yo yeah but but what was cool about it was she was like i know that

you have more people coming but she's like i also feel like close to the a lot of the people that you have coming i thought that was really cool of course on you guys yeah of course they're like you guys made her feel like yeah you know you're there for her as well family yeah i used to do the thing when i was in college where i would like be mean to my friends girls and that was just because you're just some insecure little kid that you're like oh i'm gonna lose my friend and so i would tease them and shit and then at a certain point when my friends started getting married i was like oh i have to be nicest person first of all just because that's there they'll always choose them yeah but also that's so childish like that's your family that could be even if you're dating that could be my family

hey me too anyway so it's good to switch the perspective and. And I'm stoked that you guys are going to be there. And I'm excited for this day. And I know Mark and I were talking about what it's like to have all the people that... It's cool to have a day where here are all the people that you collected. And you thought that it was worthy to maintain relationships with them. Yeah, it's dope. And they're all there just because you love someone else.

That's crazy. Yeah. They all showed up just for that. fly thousands of miles for that i don't know i just think that's so cool i'm excited to have the collection of 38 years of life the most amazing people i've met in 38 years these are the most amazing people i've met in 38 years and they're plus ones and they're plus ones not everybody got a plus one it's gonna be a few plus ones i don't know i just think that's a really cool thing like i want people that don't know each other to meet and like have conversations yeah yeah i mean all so many of my groomsmen i had so many and i was like they don't know each other they're gonna get

along everybody yeah everybody got along your friend's mouth your cousin's mouth you wish you did that guy was his name that stop, stop. You wish you did, bro. That guy was his name. That's not true. He wish you did. Oh, that sexy motherfucker? Yeah. Oh, okay.

I was like, I thought you were talking about girlfriends. I was like, ew. And then we talk about guys. I'm like, yeah. We should be so lucky. We took turns on that man like he was Andy Dufresne. Hey, hey, hey, bro. You wish, doghead.

You wish. You're not taking a damn shit. Hey, you wish, bro. For real, bro. remember when he swam through shit what do you call it water that was fire that was good that was decent joke no good like quick quick with it decent joke i'll drink the rest of my drink it's fine no no No, no, no. You gotta serve. Yo, chill. You're gonna drown. Chill. Stop. Anyway. Asshole army. I hope you found this entertaining. Oh, last thing that's kind of dope.

This sounds corny, but just saying my wife. You've been saying my girl for so long and it sounds mad childish now. It's childish. I'm sure wife gets old too. But right now, I feel like a fucking grown up finally. That's my wife. And it's nice to say. That's my wife. That's the most important fucking grown-up finally that's my wife and it's nice to say that's my wife that's the most important person in my life that's my wife that shit right there that's fine that's true like no y'all don't have pets you got a pet

come on you got a cat dog you ever walk in your dog early in the morning yeah and you see a motherfucker walking their dog in the morning you're like oh oh you have responsibilities yeah yeah like i respect you yeah you woke up before you wanted to walk your cat to walk your fucking yeah 100 i'm with it that's what my wife feels like yeah saying my wife feels like you you want a guy says my wife feels like you you see when a guy says my wife it's so cute i know it was so authentic i see how that could be interpreted not me no i what i'm saying is like when you say my wife i gotta take you seriously immediately after when when it's when someone goes yeah my girl was talking about, I don't even listen. That's a child, brother.

I don't listen. If you say my girl, I stop listening immediately. Fiance, I take you a little seriously. A little bit more. Yeah, my fiance, whatever. Because the weight of what she says matters for the rest of your life. Yep. So even if you're like, my wife said this crazy thing, now I know you're going to have

to deal with that for the rest of your life. And I'm like, ooh, this is interesting. This motherfucker is going to be miserable. Right? But like, your girl, if you go, my girl, like girl like yo you can get rid of her yeah but wife i gotta take you seriously as a human yeah that's fine you made a big stakes decision yeah i i respect that that's just though you made a new family you made a new family man yeah that's fine yeah i don't know if i believe in that though you. You know what I mean? We Schultz's out here.

You know what I'm saying? That's what I mean. It's a new family. It's you and her. That's it. Oh, oh, oh. I'm saying their family. Because I got some motherfuckers that didn't pull up.

If you're at the wedding, you family. If you're not at the wedding, you the ops. Most people aren't at the wedding. Say what? Most people aren't there. Most people are the ops, Mark. Yeah, yeah. Most people are the ops. I don't know if you know Andrew. Most people are the ops. most people are the ops mark yeah yeah most people know andrew most people the ops most people the ops you know what i mean no i don't know

really what you mean no i'm just kidding we're all friends here anyway guys this has been an episode of flagrant too thank y'all so much man uh for supporting us listening to us taking care of us enjoying us i hope you enjoyed at work i hope you enjoy a home i hope you enjoy on a ride i hope you enjoy in every aspect of your life thank you for telling other people about it thank you for telling other people about it and then they say that we're crazy and then you still tell more people about it yep that means a lot because this is spread because of y'all so thank you so much for everything that you've given us and merry christmas too this is coming out the very end of the year. Yeah.

And I'm still high. Also that, too. That, too. We're going to have some new changes in the new year, man. We're going to do some very exciting things in the new year, and I can't wait to share with y'all. We are cooking up some stuff. And, yeah, we're going to make you proud. It's going to be very cool. New Year's is going to be very cool new year's gonna be very cool i wish

i could tell you right now but i can't tell you right now once it gets closer to done we'll probably tease a little bit about it on the patreon there so patreon.com slash flagrant 2 asshole army we appreciate you we love you if it's meant to be i'll hit the lens right now on this shot hit the lens right now on this shot.