Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Is The Greatest MMA Journalist Ever

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant 2. It's your boy, Schultz. We got the whole crew back, man. Akash Singh in the building, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, the Truffle. What's up, Gary? And how y'all doing, man? How's everything?

Good, man. Amazing. Everything's feeling good? Good to be back. Okay, you had a good weekend out there in Texas? Yeah, man, it was my first comedy festival. Okay. And it was cool because I had stopped. i didn't get one for so long i told my agents like just don't even try anymore it's fine yeah and then they asked me to do it and i got to

headline my own show and like they threw me on every show they could which sometimes you'll sit there and you'll get like one show yeah but they had me fucking running which was great it was cool and like even outside of the show i headlined you'd be big pops when i got on stage and it's like oh motherfuckers are finding out that's good it was real cool so you felt like a celeb yeah it was cool like i've you know i didn't feel like you but like at a festival it's like the interesting thing about festival i think why i feel so good especially as a comic to perform at a festival because it just centralizes all the fans of comedy yeah so the chances of them knowing about you are very high right so you're in this like three just centralizes all the fans of comedy. Yeah. So the chances of them knowing about you are very high.

Right? So you're in this like three block radius where all the comedy fans and all the comics are there. Yeah. It's kind of similar to like being somebody in basketball at the arena where the game is going. Right, right, right. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So like if you're a guy who used to play, but if you're like Larry Johnson walking around the garden. Yeah. A lot of people are going to know you. They're coming up, they're doing this shit, four point play. It's like, you feel like a superstar, right? If you're Larry Johnson walking around Lululemon, they're just like, is he the security?

Like, who is he? You know what I mean? The women have no fucking clue. It was a little demoralizing because I didn't realize that until like the second or third day. But I was before, I was like, I'm popping in Austin. I'm the hottest shit in Austin. That's how good. Bro, I dreamt the shit out of his life, bro. I didn't mean to shit on it. I know, I was like, I'm popping in Austin. I'm the hottest shit in Austin. That's how good.

Bro, I didn't mean to shit on it. No, no, no. Nobody knows you outside of comedy. No one knows you. You're huge in Austin, bro. Austin loves you. But that's who you want. I don't give a fuck if casuals know me yet.

Let me get the comedy fans, and that's what starts the race. Yeah, fuck casuals, bro. Fuck casuals, dude. We're casual fans. Let me get the comedy fans first. Let me finish. The comedy fans first. Who'd you have first? What is that? fans. Let me get the comedy fans first. Let me finish. The comedy fans first.

Who'd you have first? What is that? Casuals? You had the fans first. Yes, yeah, yeah. Comedy fans. If you're a casual fan, you're a loser. Yeah, yeah.

Don't be a casual fan. Any casual is a fucking dork. Honestly. Because now I'm bored of what we're doing. My bad. I'm a little slow. We had the perfect segue.

I'm a little slow. You're not a casual, Doug. You're not a casual at anything. You're an expert. I'm an expert, 100%. The world's foremost expert. Yeah, I'm the greatest MMA journalist We had the perfect segue. I'm a little slow. You're not a casual, Doug, at anything. You're an expert. I'm an expert, 100%. The world's foremost expert. Yeah, I'm the greatest MMA journalist of all time. Ever.

Yeah. Break that down. Break what down? I don't get what happened. It's pretty fucking obvious to me. I don't get what happened. What is there to break down? There's MMA and there's journalism,

and then when they cross, it's Schultz. That's all you see. There's no one else. There's Ariel Helwani. I'm ready to do a face-off with him right now. Just watch our fucking nose mash into each other from a mile away. We're on the other side of the podium. You guys can be socially distanced and touching noses.

That's great. No, but for real, I'm the greatest MMA journalist of all time. A lot of people know this about me. Those who don't, your mother sucks my dick. Come on. Yeah, no, that's true. If you didn't know that about me, your mother sucks my dick. Maybe that's another thing you didn't notice.

But maybe you did notice that also. Just walking around wheezing all the time. That's me clearing out space in her throat. Jesus. It's true. There are things that are true. There are things that are factual, There are things that are factual. Did Genghis Khan have the greatest empire in history?

Was he the greatest conqueror ever? Factual. Okay. Was it really tough getting Rhinoceros from South Sudan to Rome? Not factual. One of the leading foremost historians. You're a historian too, right? I'm also that.

We'll get to that later. Okay. Am I the greatest MMA journalist of all time? Yeah. Yes. Do I know all things MMA? But what qualifies you? What's your authority?

This right here. That's my number one qualifier right there. That is my number one. A lot of people- So what? They weren't respecting your greatness? Okay, so I'm watching an MMA fight.

All right. Okay, as I do. Which UFC event? Say again? Which UFC event? I don't know. Some people were fighting. I forget who was fighting,

but it was some people. They were doing the whole fighting and grabbing each other's hands. Yeah, yeah. With the little mittens, they got the little cut off. They were Big Jay Oakerson.

It was like they got the Big Jay Oak and gloves in there, and they're like hugging and wrestling each other. What is that? You rode a motorcycle here? I thought it was Skank Fest. I paid for the pay-per-view. I'm like, I'm watching Skank Fest.

Hey, it was. It was Skank Fest, right? It was Skank Fest. So I'm watching Skank Fest, and then there's a girl that comes on. There's two girls that come on to fight, right? What? I know. And I've been telling all these people this on the internet.

No, no, no. They come for the ring. Like, every time the ring is, the round is over, they give you the number. Oh, I thought, okay. I thought they were cooking the meals for the guys before they went.

I'm being honest with you. I thought they were there to tidy up the ring before the guys. Okay, that makes sense too. So I see the girls in the ring and I'm like, okay, they're here to clean up

some of the blood off the ground or something like that. They're getting the fight ready for the guys. Necessary thing. Because here's the thing. I'm a fan of female MMA and I'd said this before,

but only if they were born with penises. That's the only female MMA stars that I'm a super fan of. That's progressive. Son, I'm the most progressive guy that you can imagine. I'm the foremost historian on progress. Listen, I am the greatest journalist when it comes to progress. Okay? I put myself in the line of fire.

I've done this before many times yeah what name one time where i wasn't in the line of fire infamous for it son i'm literally infamous afghanistan was i not there what do you mean i'm sure those people that look like you yep yeah i was there i'm sure i was there when the taliban took it over in afghanistan i was in you guys no i do not remember me being late for the podcast i was like i'll be right there i was just saying i'm on my way back in texas okay say again i think we're in doubt i've been in texas i've been in every place yeah okay that's the thing i've been literally everywhere like a lot of you guys listen and i'm not trying to be disrespectful to you guys but you don't understand what it's like to take a rhinoceros from south sudan to rome because you haven't been to south sudan right if you've been me, I've been there. Dude, I plucked Amin

out of the Sudan and placed him at fucking ESPN. How do you think he got here? Same way we got the rhinoceros out of Rome. I brought him. You're a hero. I'm a hero. I find talent. I remember in Sweden the racially profiled

me. You stepped in front and tried. I said try to racially profile me. me. You stepped in front and tried. I said try to racially profile me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then he charged me like that rhinoceros. I know better.

I have experience. I have experience. You got to get out of the way. You got to get out of the way. I gave him the little fingers. I gave him jazz hands, bro. I gave him jazz hands. First of all, no black people in Sweden.

They don't know what jazz is. If they did, if they did, that probably would have worked. He would have respected it. He would have respected it. I feel you. I feel you. So fuck him. Fuck would have respected it. He would have respected it. I feel you. I feel you. So fuck him. Fuck Sweden.

Fuck Sweden. I'm one of the most renowned historians of Sweden, too. I am. I literally am. I still want to know what happened. Yeah. So a few people have brought forward your tweets and said that you were inaccurate or just outright disrespectful. I'm watching this fucking cleaning lady.

Outright disrespectful is so funny. Who was I disrespectful to? I was disrespectful to one of them. When I said that she looked like a diner waitress, that was disrespectful. But I was charged up. That was funny. That was also hilarious.

That was funny. Undeniably funny line. For fans of a sport where people literally will kill each other sometimes, you're kind of cucks. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, that was so offensive. Diner waitress.

We're going to get into this. We're going to get into it. You sound like AOC fans, not UFC fans. Yeah, these are definitely like there's a QAnon portion of the UFC fan base, especially with MMA. He's digging a grave right now. Son, son, son, son. I'm trying to beat you. Son, son, son, son.

Listen, if you come at the king, you best not miss. I'm the greatest journalist in UFC history. They might not miss, bro. That's the point. You cannot miss. You cannot miss. They might not. I'm just going to keep ignoring what you're saying.

Hey, this is honestly their fault. Say what? Because you tried to have a fight party, and then these guys all acted like they were too busy. They could have stopped you from tweeting that shit. If you were here with other people, they could have been like, yo, yo, yo,

your baby tiger in it again. Oh, I regret it. Oh, you think he would have said it out loud and then not tweeted it? You guys, you're not good friends. I regret it. I was out of town.

I was on mushrooms in the desert. Oh, because I didn't have pussies at the party. That's the thing, right? I had to sing in front of black people. That's what I did.

Real men at the party understood how to talk shit and they would charge me up and I was just talking about my feelings, bro. That's what it did. Real men at the party understood how to talk shit and they would charge me up. And I was just talking my feelings, bro. That's what it is. If I have feelings, I speak them.

The girl that was fighting, this girl Shevchenko, right? She's supposed to be the... Have you ever watched a Shevchenko fight? No. Have you ever watched a Shevchenko fight?

Come on. Exactly. Have you ever watched a Shevchenko fight? Maybe, but I don't remember. Exactly. You don't remember. Is that a person or a country?

Do you know who Shevchenko is? Five-time fighter champion. You know that because of the comments on my fucking post. Yep. The point is, what I said to her is, I'm seeing this, if we're being real about it,

if we're actually not being hyperbolic here or not being sarcastic, we're actually going to be real. This girl is incredibly skilled. Yeah. Like, amazing striker, and I'm watching, I've never seen her fight before.

I've heard her name a little bit. I understand all these MMA fans, they fucking love the female MMA shit like that. I don't know what it is. That's weird to me, yo. I think there's a whole thing where it's like I get to lust over a woman, but it looks like I care about sport. You know what I mean? If you're watching a main card, there have been main cards where you didn't expect to enjoy a female fight, and it was the best fight of the night.

Yes or no? Sure. There have been some incredible. Watching you talk is like watching female MMA. So what I'm doing is... That was unnecessary. It was unnecessary.

Listen, everybody get in these shots now. Listen, when you come for the greatest MMA journalist in history, I have to back up what I'm talking about, okay? Obviously. So I tweet things out and naturally since I'm the greatest mma journalist in history they're gonna react right i'm not just some pundit i'm not just some guy with a podcast who like maybe just started watching mma a couple years ago and i find it interesting and i'm a big

fan of the sport right and i try to do my best to promote the fighters so that they can make fucking money and use our platform so they can do i'm not that i'm the greatest mma journalist in history right that's who i am so i understand whatever i say you know this is high stakes here okay so this shevchenko girl she's in the ring okay the fucking ring the octagon whatever you want to call it okay it doesn't matter what do you call it as a journalist what do i call it yeah i i thought it was a broom closet when i saw those two girls in there i thought it was a broom closet when I saw those two girls in there. I thought it was a broom closet, right? I did think that, right? So I see the girls in there.

This Shevchenko girl, in all seriousness, is incredibly skilled. And the other girl, I'm sure she's fucking a beast, but she's not as skilled. I know enough about fight sports to know when one is at a completely different level, okay? Here's the thing. Shevchenko carries her for four rounds gets the finish in the fourth round I tweeted earlier thing I'm like what do you do like when you're there's this much of a skill discrepancy you need to get this chick or dude out of here early the thing about the UFC which is amazing is they just reward entertainment if

you take risks and get knocked out you'll be fighting three in three months again if it's entertaining it doesn't matter. The final card, I don't know if you guys saw it, you guys didn't see it, but the final card was one of the most amazing cards I've ever seen. Neither fighter lost any ground in terms of promotion.

Brian Ortega versus Volkanovski. Neither fighter. Both of them can fight again. There's even more interest. Volkanovski won. Amazing fucking heart. But so did Ortega. It was amazing, the fight.

I'm watching this girl carry this other girl for four rounds, and I'm just like, what the fuck are you wasting our time for? Okay? You are so much better than this girl. She's not willing to take the risk in order to be a superstar. Amanda Nunes, the only reason I know her name is because she goes in the ring and she leaves women unconscious. Okay?

You know who Amanda Nunes is. You know who Amanda Nunes is. You know maybe. You don't know who Amanda Nunes is. You know who Amanda Nunes is. You know maybe. You don't know who Amanda Nunes is. You know who Amanda Nunes is. She goes in the ring and leaves women unconscious. Okay? That's the only way.

Ronda Rousey. Yeah. She was a fucking WWE star. Goes in the ring, leaves girls unconscious, or taps them the fuck out, or chokes them out, or whatever judo shit she was doing until she ran into Holly Holman and it was over. Point is, the only way that people are going to know know you especially if you're a female in the fight sports is if you are finishing people ain't nobody got time for the technique people talking about oh she speaks seven languages bravo go work for the

fbi get a job at the cia you know what i mean this is amazing if you want to make the millions and millions and millions of dollars, if you want to have a fucking WWE contract when you're done, if you want to be a global superstar, it's fucking knockouts and dominance. And carrying a girl that nobody fucking knows about for four rounds, right? And I have

all the respect in the world for people who actually go in the ring, but it's not how you do it. The fact that none of us know who she is, I know these MMA fans, that's their whole life, so they think that everybody knows who they are it's not it's just like comics we think comedies our whole life so when you don't know a comic we're like how the fuck do you not know how do you how do you not know who that is we can't fathom it because we're so insulated in our circle but the casuals the casuals are where you make the real money the casuals where you change your fucking life change your family's life forever. They want to see carnage, bro. It's the easiest thing to digest.

So I made this observation. I was like, this girl's so talented. She's choosing to not take the risk necessary to get this girl out and around and be a fucking superstar. Now everybody's coming at me like, yeah, but what about guys like Izzy and stuff who sometimes get knockouts and sometimes go a distance? Izzy's fighting the highest caliber fighters on the planet. Okay? This girl Shevchenko is in a different league than the other girl, Lauren Murphy.

All respect for her getting in there, but we're not talking about the same thing here. And Izzy's earlier fights, motherfuckers was getting knocked out. Shit, Izzy's later fights. Whitaker got knocked out. He goes in with Robert Whitaker. Sayonara. Paul Acosta, sayonara. Don't even bring that shit up. Izzy's sitting in a fucking pocket,

willing to take the day. Kamaru Usman. When Kamaru Usman fought Jorge Masvidal, if he wanted, he could pick Jorge up, put him on his back, and keep him there for 25 minutes. He is that good at wrestling compared to Kamaru Usam. He chose to knock his ass out.

He chose to take the risk and strike with a guy who people thought was a better striker. And what happened? Superstar. That's all people talk about. Nobody's talking about the fourth round stoppage where you carry the girl and the snooze fest, whatever. It's your choice. I want fighters to make all the money in the world.

I've been following this a long time the greatest fight journals in history okay that being said here is the method to the madness you want to be wealthy off of one of the most terrifying things to do for a living you have to put yourself in enough uh you have to you have to take enough risk in order to do that to create those knockout chaos. Now, some people suggest that she finished the last four out of her five last fights. Did she carry him for four rounds and finish him? Who are they? Do we even know?

I would assume you would know as the greatest journalist I've ever met. I don't know. Again, did they have penises? Did she fight Fallon Fox or the other Navy SEAL? If she fought Fallon Fox or the Navy SEAL, 100%. I don't think she did. She's saying she's knocking Jake Paul out in a second. How are you knocking

Jake Paul out in a second but the Dino H is four rounds? Do you know what I'm saying? Come on, yo. She also went to decision with Amanda Nunez twice. Yeah. So it was never finished

by Amanda Nunez, maybe the best. She's unbelievable. There's no question. She's very talented at what she's doing. She's not willing to take the risk to be a she just she's not willing to

take the risk to be a superstar and she's not willing to play to heal now mayweather was unbelievable wasn't willing to sit in there and take the risk to knock motherfuckers out because have we had a female heel may i'm not sure but he knew that he didn't have that one punch knockout power especially as he came up in weight so he made made the decision, I'm going to be the heel. I'm going to be the heel and motherfuckers are going to pay to see me lose, which is never going to fucking happen because he's the GOAT. You know what I'm saying? But she is incredibly likable.

Speaks 15 languages. We speak one language. She just likes fighting though and has like 2.3 million followers. For all intents and purposes, she already is a star. Is she? Do you know who she is? I mean, she's one of the top five female UFC fighters. 2.3 million is not nothing. For all intents and purposes, she already is a star. Is she? Do you know who she is? I mean, she's one of the top five female UFC fighters.

2.3 million is not nothing. No, no, it's not nothing. It's not nothing. There's no question. Do you know who she is? No. But I'm a casual UFC fan. Exactly.

That's what we're talking about. Yeah. Like, everybody was making my point for me. Why? I'm saying if you want to be a superstar.'s saying to get the casuals you got to knock people out as quickly as possible this ain't the olympics like i know people want like there's a there's a there's a fighter uh leon edwards right and he's not being beaten right the guy is incredibly he's the guy who fought nate diaz last time nate almost finished him in that fifth round

but he's a very skilled fighter he's, he doesn't have the most engaging personality, but it seems like a sweet guy, fucking hardworking, et cetera. Right. And he's like, shit, I thought all you had to do is win in this sport and then you get success.

Nope. All you gotta do is entertain. It's sensational. It's entertainment. Be sensational. This is show business. If you want to just worry about winning and having your record be better, and that's what matters.

Just stay in the amateurs and go to the Olympics. I am the most casual UFC fan. I'll probably say a ton of stupid shit about it i will say this the only reason i knew who's the first girl ronda rousey not just she was knocking people out she was beating people quickly as fuck 59 seconds whatever the fuck time it was chef shango wants to be the greatest mike tyson why do you know mike tyson i knew because he's breaking michael spinks yeah but if she wants to be the greatest of all time. Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson, I knew because he's breaking Michael Spinks' jaw. Yeah, but if she wants to be the greatest of all time, she wants to preserve her record. Like, why would she risk getting knocked out from

like a shooting punch? That is a longer route then. If you want to be big quicker, knock motherfuckers out as quickly as you can. But she can't be the greatest of all time because she got beaten twice by the greatest of all time. So now that you know that you're not going to be the greatest of all time unless you get those two wins. But she's got the trilogy fight coming up because she won this one. Well, we don't know that for a fact. That's not signed, but that's what people are talking about.

But even if you win that, wouldn't, again, super casual, wouldn't it be 2-1? You know what I mean? And you could say you caught her on the downside of her career or whatever, potentially. But, and again,

they're in different weights. Like, you know, Nunes has a big advantage. She, I think, fights at like 125 pounds or something like that. Props to her for taking that fight, though. Yeah, listen. And going to decision twice

was the greatest. What I'm saying right now, it's not emotional. This is what it is. It's not up for debate. Like, there's one way where you have, if you just want to be the person who has the best record, that's fine.

Do it. Just fight bumps. Yo, guys, important Infamous Tour updates. Louisville and Cincinnati, we will see you in a couple weekends. We got a few tickets left for them. Make sure you go get them right now. Do not wait too long. Vegas, we'll see you this a couple weekends we got a few tickets left for them make sure you go get them right now do not wait too long uh vegas we'll see you this weekend sold out philadelphia we're gonna see you in a few weekends after that sold out indianapolis go get your tickets washington dc

we added a late show get your tickets for that uh san francisco we added a late show get your tickets for that madison wisconsin we're coming you. And then Chicago, we added another late show. Chicago Theater, make sure you go get those tickets ASAP. Okay? Minneapolis, we added a third show. Get them tickets. And Fargo, Jacksonville, and then Boston for New Year's. Go, go, go. TheAndrewSchultz.com.

Make sure you go get them. Do not wait too long because the same thing is going to happen. It's going to happen to people in Vegas. It's already sold out. Happening to people in Philly. It's already sold out. Nothing we can do in Philly. It's already sold out. Nothing we can do. Okay?

So, go get them right now. We appreciate you. Thank you so much for the support. Cannot wait to make this fucking thing absolutely crazy. Now that we don't have the special that we're focused on, it's just about this live show. And I cannot fucking wait, my friends. Akash, what y'all got? Yo, this Friday, Houston, The Secret Group.

The 8 o'clock show is sold out You gotta get tickets for the next show I think it's 10 or 10.30 But hurry up and buy tickets to that October 5th

next week I'm gonna be in New York one night at New York Comedy Club We film on a little something come through The tickets are selling out fast for that too

So hurry the fuck up buy your tickets October 15th and 16th Toronto already gone but you know what it is I'll see you all there. October 21st through 23rd, I am back in Jersey at the Stress Factory. That show should be filled up with Indians.

Buy your tickets. Bring your relatives. Let them know what time it is. November 6th, I'm in Atlanta at the Red Clay Comedy Festival. And December 9th through 11th, D.C., I'm at the Comedy Loft. Bring that ass through. Tickets at akashsingh.com. Alex, hit it.

And guys, you know what it is. Hit wtfmediastudios.com. It's a podcast studio made by podcasters for podcasters, and we do photography as well. And now let's get back to the show. Where would they hit it? Wtfmediastudios.com. Okay.

Wtfmediastudios.com. Wtfmediastudios.com. He been practicing. My man been putting in work. You ain't telling him nothing.com. Okay. WTFMediaStudios.com. WTFMediaStudios.com. He's been practicing. My man been putting in work. You ain't telling him nothing. Whatever. Fuck him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to cock stuff. All right. Let's get back to the show. Be the person who has the best record. Just fight bums. Never lose a fight. That's great. Do you want to make money at this or not?

And the people that understand this have great careers. Donald Cerrone, the UFC is the only fight sport where you could be a journeyman millionaire. Millionaire journeyman. Have 10 losses and make millions of dollars, change your life. Like, everybody talks all this shit about fighter pay. You show me another fight sport where you could be a journeyman millionaire. Boxing, uh-uh. You got 11 losses in boxing?

Ain't no pay-per-view draw superstar nope nick diaz and nate diaz got more than 10 losses on their record each they are millionaires and why is that because we want carnage and we know anything can happen it takes one shot yeah in boxing i love the sport but the better person is going to win 9.9 out of 10 times. Maybe in heavyweights, that one shot can land. Yeah, heavyweights is the only one that can land. Exactly. And that's why we love it. That's why we'll watch fucking Wilder, who cannot box even close to as good as Tyson Fury.

We'll watch them fight again because we know he's got the equalizer. He got that right hook. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. Like, look, this is what it is. And the reason I know what it is is because all the UFC guys are in my DMs going, bro, you're right.

Like, all of them. All of them. Like, all the people that these people who are upset at me, they're the biggest fans of, are in my DMs going, bro, you're right.

She carried her for four rounds. It's like she could have had her out of here in fucking two minutes. Yeah, so watered out. But this is what she does. Watered out, boy. Stop. She carried her for four rounds. She could have had her out of here in fucking two minutes. But this is what she does. What did Izzy tweet about? What was that? He called you out, bro. He said that I'm a casual. Yeah. He's right.

Yeah. But you're the greatest journalist of all time. Yeah, I am. I'm an enigma. You don't understand it. Because the people are the journalists. That's why. The people are the journalists. That's why. Yeah. The people are the journalists.

You're the people. I don't know what he's saying. You're the people's journalist. The casuals are the real journalists. He's the people's journalist. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Listen, I just want these fighters to make money. I'm telling them how to make money. But Amanda Nunes doesn't have that many knockouts. All I know Amanda Nunes from is just knocking bitches out. Y'all know her from anything else? Not really.

Well, she'll get you a tap quick. I know a UFC fighter if Luis Gomez tweets about them. That's my look. That's how I know Nunez. 100%. But like her last five fights were like submission, decision, decision, TKO, and then knockout. So TKO, knockout. And also the submission can be I knocked you out and I'm on top of you, and then I tapped you out.

So it's carnage. Do you know what I'm saying? And who's the decision against? Megan Anderson, Felicia Spencer. Oh, no, the decision was Felicia Spencer. And then the other one? Jermaine D. Rondani. Oh, yeah, that was apparently a close fight.

Yeah. I remember the UFC fight we watched in the green room at Palm Beach, I think, in Miami or in Florida. That one girl that you said was cute, Rose or whatever, the only reason I remember that fight is because she knocked out whoever. Exactly. Rose knocks out Wei Li with a crazy kick, and it's the fucking talk of the universe.

I mean, Jake Paul knocks out Ben Askren with one shot, and he gets his pick of the litter, whoever he wants. You think if Jake Paul has a tough fight against Ben Askren, he just... And Nate Robinson. And Nate Robinson. That's how he kept leveling up. This is a no-brainer. You know what I mean?

It's just so simple to understand this. You go out there. You have concussive power, and it's done. That's it. I mean, I don't disagree that I think knockouts are just going to elevate you immediately. It's just dynamite. It's like a multiple iris and explosion will put you on the map. But some of the greatest fighters ever are known for

not doing knockouts. I'm not talking about greatest fighter ever. If your goal is just to be... But Khabib is a superstar. He finished people. I mean, with submissions and shit. He beats your fucking head in until you turn over because you don't want your head beaten anymore, and then he just taps you. And as again, the most casual fan, the only reason I know Khabib is because he beat Conor's ass, who publicized the fight, and then climbed into the fucking over the cage in one of the stands.

And now that guy's the greatest. And I know nothing. I'm never going to pretend I do about UFC. So from the most casual point of view. But it's like chokes and like neck cranks. Yeah, but again, I didn't know him until until connor who knocked people out and talked that shit and was willing to play the heel and is maybe the greatest marketer i've seen any fighter ever be ever yeah until he fought khabib i didn't know khabib had to legit commit a crime to climb over the fucking thing and go fight everyone

understand all due respect for for khab. Conor made Khabib. 100%. You want them to come out. I'm the greatest MMA journalist of all time. I'm the greatest MMA journalist of all time. I know. But it's true. He made Khabib. He did. He's Kanye West. Khabib's Taylor Swift.

It's true. It's true, bro. This is what he does. You're going to get your biggest payday when you fight him and you're going to get your biggest paydays after fighting him. It is what it is. Look, I'm not being emotional about this.

I'm not. I'm just telling you what the facts are. This is what it is. This is what it is. He made him, bro. This is what it is. He made him. If Conor fights you, he makes you. Oh, man. Bro, Conor made Mayweather.

Who was Mayweather before Conor McGrath? I've never heard of him. Who was Mayweather? You want to talk about got your hat? Conor started got your hat. He just didn't get it. Mayweather's head is fucking thick or something. He tried to flip it off, but it didn't get it. Mayweather's head is fucking thick or something. He tried.

He tried to flip it off, but it didn't do it. He tried to snatch that hat. Listen, this motherfucker. Hey, Connor, as much as you want, your life is different because of him. All these motherfuckers. Life is different because of him. I'm telling you. I'm just talking about money. I'm just talking about money yes i'm just talking about money i'm just talking about

money this is i'm just talking about money success you make money doing the the fucking hardest thing ever you know every single time you go in there you might be different for the rest of your life i had heard dustin poirier's name before he fought connor i didn't really know who he was until i watched that fight because of connor yeah 100 and again i will never if you want to call me an idiot fan, yeah, I don't know anything about UFC. There is some legitimacy to what you're saying, but it's like, you can't say he made these people.

He didn't make them a good fighter. He gave them a big fight and put them now, introduce them to casuals. If it wasn't for Conor, Khabib couldn't retire when he did. He would need more money. He rich. He don't need the money.

I can leave. He doesn't care about money. He cares about God. See what we do. It makes it easier. It makes it a lot easier. It makes it easier. Hey, you know what feels like heaven?

Being a multimillionaire. That's facts. That's true. That's facts. I'm just saying. It is what it is, bro. Dude, Andrews is the greatest MMA journalist of all time. Tell me where I'm wrong.

Please tell me where I'm wrong. Coming from a very casual? I don't like this guy. I don't know what he's saying. I want to be the greatest at getting punched in the head of all time. Bravo. How about you make $100 million and stop getting punched in the head? You're also a boxing fan, which is legit brain damage.

The whole sport is not even grappling. The worst at getting punched in the head. It's sustained punishment It's literally just head butting a garage door for 12 Emotional don't be emotional They don't understand itest boxing journalist of all time. Listen, MMA's not a sport. I used to ride.

Listen, MMA's not a sport. What do you think? Well, who's an expert in MMA? You gotta be an expert in fucking jiu-jitsu, an expert in Muay Thai, an expert in kickboxing, an expert in regular boxing, an expert in wrestling.

None of y'all are a fucking expert in all that. Jack of all trades. Fuck that. You know what else is funny? It's just art. Say again? It's just art. Martial art.

It is a martial art. It's art. Just put that shit in a museum somewhere. You know what it is? It's art like the motherfucker Jackson Pollock that just threw the shit. Yeah. That's the art. That's the art.

They just threw a bunch of forms together. That's it. Do the unboxing and kickboxing. Don't be emotional. Bruce Lee would be disgusted. Absolutely. Disgusted. Absolutely. Disgusting. Absolutely.

Okay? We need a real martial art, like Wang Chung, where you just go like that. Yeah. Do you know what that is? No. You wouldn't. Casual. Everybody Wang Chung tonight, the 80s song?

Say what? Everybody Wang Chung tonight, the 80s song? Is that what you're talking about? I think the martial art was developed after the song. Okay. I think that was the order. If you really want to know the true chronology, the song came out and then the martial art

where you just go like this a lot came out. The drunken shit. If you do that drunken shit now, we're talking. Why do you think the drunken thing works so well? Yeah.

It's a bar fight, Alex. Okay? That's the most natural form. The Diaz brothers haven't been sober since they were 13 years old. Okay? You gotta avoid that.

Conor McGregor has his own alcohol. The closer you are to alcohol, the better you do it. Khabib has never had a drink in his life, which is why Conor made him. Listen, I am an MMA journalist. All these fucking nerds, these little virgins. What's your message to them like fans of MMA? What and don't be understand you like to just sue because you get to touch another human Usually you don't get to do that. I do understand and there's no question

Oh my god, all of y'all that are super into these things will fuck me up. Y'all will fuck me up I get it. You got that shit. It is what it is. It's totally cool. He's him not any of us got that shit. It is what it is. It's totally cool. Please him, not any of us. I'm not trying to act like I would fuck them up. I'm not. In other things, I'd fuck them up. Like? Like such as? In a have you ever touched pussy

contest? Have you ever pushed... Have you ever touched pussy one time in your life contest? I would fuck them up. I would guarantee fuck them up. In a Have you touched A pussy lip One time in your life

Have you gone like this One time in your life And then you were like Oh wow That smells like Fucking Tokens That smells like

A basket of tokens Okay That you need to throw That smells like The basket When you coming From Jersey to New York And you don't want To have a conversation With a toll booth bitch That smells like the basket when you coming from Jersey to New York and you don't want to have

a conversation with a toll booth bitch that smells like a toll booth basket you aging yourself so they got rid of that shit man let me update it

let me update it let me update it when you like this smells like easy pass what is that like ooh that smell like an Allen key okay

okay is that do better do better okay hold on hold on hold on hold on Like, ooh, that smell like an Allen key. Okay. Okay. Is that better? That's like Ikea. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, that smell like a pier. Like the ocean? Yeah. But you never seen like a low tide, like a pier that has barnacles on it?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I have seen that. And then you get that waft? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like a wave crashes and then the air comes at you you're like god damn i got some pussies in the ocean all i'm trying to say i know you virgins listening you wouldn't even know what the fuck i'm talking about why am i describing it to you anyway yeah okay just stick your dick in a waifu you fucking loser you're drinking i have a waifu right now god damn it come on shout out to gamer sucks dude y'all really out of a waifu right now. God damn it, bro. Come on. Shout out to Gamer Substance.

Y'all really make the best waifus, bro. You know what's funny, though? You know, he's like a boxing enthusiast. I used to fucking rile him up because there was that Pakistani fighter, Amir Khan. I'd be like, yo, he's the greatest boxer of all time.

He's the great, you can't tell me he's not. And he would get so fucking upset as like a boxing purist. He'd be like, I fucking hate him. Boxing is a sport. Eminem? I don't even know who he is.

Eminem? I'm the greatest journalist from some shit I can't pronounce in history. Okay? All I'm trying to do is make sure these athletes make the most money that they possibly can. Who? Start. What's the girl's name that I don't know what she is? Wait, what?

Princess Diana. What was her name? The girl was in there. Shevchenko. Shevchenko. Yeah. Listen, Bond villain ass lady.

Start. Bond villain is really good. She does. That's really good. You remember her in all the Bond villain? That's just the name. It's such a Bond villain name.

In all the Bond villains. And Lauren Murphy also. Do you know what I mean? Yo, but shout out to Lauren Murphy. Mad respect. Mad respect. You know what I mean? But stop coming at me with, I can make a fresh pot. You knew people was coming to the diner today. Why are you acting like you didn't know

the day was coming? It's also worth noting, you didn't say she looked like a diner waitress. You said she was a diner waitress, which is subtly different. Subtly. Subtly. I mean, we know what the intended purpose of the looked like a diner waitress you said she was a diner waitress which is subtly different subtly i mean we know what the intended purpose of the line was i like how you try to create a little caveat for me i thought you were saying she was a bum say what i thought you were saying she's a bum no she's a talented athlete okay she knew yo al is crazy disrespectful al is crazy disrespectful right now, right?

Like, she just came over like, oh, sorry, we're out of decaf. I think you can make some more. It works. You know what I'm saying? It's just hot water and then the grounds. You can do that shit in between rounds. That's the ground and pound I need you to do. I need you to get me some motherfucking ground coffee and put it in the cup.

Because I got MMA to watch. I just said it perfect. Can we start the podcast? Did we get it off our chest? I'm glad we weren't emotional about it. Shouts to Volkanovski. Vanofski. I don't know.

I just got to say Volk. Shouts to Alexander the Great. Oh, you also said Jiu Jitsu is worthless. And high level MMA. In high-level MMA. You didn't say that. You have the tweets? You have the receipts? Yeah, I have all the tweets right here.

You said jujitsu is worthless. I never want to hear about it again. Yep. Yo, you and Drake. Son, son, son. I was on my troll mode. And then, because I forgot how easy Twitter is. I haven't done Twitter, actually, in years. Because it ain not worth it but i forgot how easy it is because it's so

it's so easy to tap into one group that really cares about something say something inflammatory and the people in that group that are on twitter and active on twitter are just are like just losers right that they're all they're doing is waiting for a tweet that they can retweet and dunk on right and i was like oh god i used to do this all the time. And then I realized it's just so not worth it. But for whatever reason, I was locked in that night. Yeah. Boy, it was going for it.

Oh, yeah. I said it was worthless. The jujitsu is worthless. Not only that, you also suggested that there's only one thing that can beat jujitsu, dot, dot, dot, a normal amount of testosterone. Oh, shit. That I do agree with. I agree with me. i agree with me i agree with me i think that if you have a normal amount of testosterone i do believe that so funny i do believe that i think if you

have a normal amount of testosterone and someone puts you in a headlock you'd be like i'll fuck him out of here and then it's done like have anybody in jujitsu and i mean this seriously have you ever tried just going ah ah, fuck off on me? Has anybody tried that, you think? Because that might be the move that could get you out of any time. It's going to be a woman that comes up to you and chokes you the fuck out. So that shit is going to be hilarious. Can I just make sure that I, let me just make my bed right here.

Next time you go to Cozy's, you're getting choked the fuck out. Listen, listen, listen. Now they only hire men. It's a Greek diner. Okay, let's just be serious. Okay, the woman is at the register. Okay. And then the men give you the food.

Okay, gotcha. Okay, let's just make sure that we understand there's some sexism that exists here. When I'm talking about jujitsu, all y'all can fuck me up. I just want to let you know I got no ego about this. I can get fucked up. Y'all can all fuck me up. Every single one of y'all can fuck me up. I just want to let you know I got no ego about this. I can get fucked up. Y'all can all fuck me up. Every single one of y'all can fuck me up. Okay.

That's it. That doesn't really coincide with your tweets. Yeah, your tweets say normal amount of testosterone. It's useless. You see, those don't. I don't have a normal amount of testosterone. There it is. I have too much.

If you have too much testosterone, it's negative. You know, it's a negative effects. Then jujitsu would be really effective in MMA because all those motherfuckers are tested out of their minds. You don't know about that. I would never put that on anyway. I'm not saying it's not natural. There's some side effects of too much testosterone. Okay, what are the side effects?

Excessive body hair, specifically facial hair. Definitely not me. Acne. I don't have that. uh greatest journalist of all time on that uh they have enlarged clitoris which i think is close i have a large place i do i do i do have that yeah uh deepened voice um no no higher voice uh this is too much testosterone yeah oh i thought your balls go and then your voice goes up that's no this is not steroids this is just having you could have too much testosterone naturally yeah testosterone not steroids guys i'm not a fucking health and fitness journalist you're the greatest health and fitness journalist okay again i'm an mma

but you said you have too much testosterone which these these are the... I got it all, dog. I got too much testosterone. I got too much estrogen. You know what I mean? I got penicillin, Percocets, Molly. I got it all, bro. Like, it is what it is. Yes. Yes, bro. I'm a future song, dog.

If you want anything, I got it. That's what I come through with. Okay? So anybody out there that was upset about my tweets, Valentina Shevchenko, I just want to let you know you're a very skilled mixed martial artist. I hope you start knocking people out in the first round so you can make life-changing money for you and your family. I do believe that.

She's a million more followers than you on Instagram. Isn't that a shame that nobody knows her? He's a hater, bro. Isn't that a shame that nobody knows her? He's just been the whole episode just been like, which side are you on? I'm saying it for women, bro bro I'm 100% with female MMA

for this whole week we know alright guys we need to take a break for a second because I gotta tell y'all how to make some god damn money on this MMA shit this football shit this all sports shit if we we gambling, we gambling. The way that we're doing is with my bookie, okay?

We're not playing no fucking games over here. We're matching initial deposit bonuses up to $1,000. Think about that. $1,000 extra dollars for you to gamble with, make some more money with? That's the way to do it. Okay, you gambling on football you gambling on ufc you could even gamble on basketball with that baseball too what i'm telling you is my bookie is the truth and if you use that promo code flagrant you're gonna get that matched okay game set match make sure you go to mybookie.ag use the promo code flagrants you're gonna get that matched okay game set match make sure you go to mybookie.ag

use the promo code flagrant because you're gonna get all of that okay remember you missed out on week three don't even sweat it because entries are still open and all it takes is one solid week to get you back in the motherfucking mix okay don't just take my word for it join now and start your winning season with MyBookie. You know they got stuff over there that's just $10 to enter. Matter of fact, the crown jewel of winning season, the famed MyBookie Super Contest only costs $10 to enter. Pick five games against the spread each week.

Each win earns you a point. Each point gets you closer to the grand prize. So make sure you go to MyBookie.ag, use that promo code FLAGRANT, and get that bread. Let's get back to the grand prize. So make sure you go to mybookie.ag, use that promo code FLAGRANT, and get that bread. Let's get back to the show. I'm curious to know what you think about this story. What is that?

The South Korean president suggests that they should ban eating dogs. Suggest is not British. Suggest is wild. You're really throwing me off. I don't ever want to hear anybody get upset about the Asian people eating dog joke again. If the president has to suggest it,

like it's gay marriage. They have gay marriage as legal but not dogs? If it's not dogs, what? I know he just had an Alex moving right down. What just happened? Gay marriage is legal but not dogs? He's saying facts. I'm the foremost journalism of South Korea dynasty or whatever the fuck it is.

Okay. No, but in all seriousness, how is gay marriage? Is gay marriage legal in South Korea? We should look that up. I know looking gay is, but is gay marriage legal? I thought BTS was all married. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, was all married. No, no, no. I thought they were all married to each other.

They're making me like these guys less. I did think part of their success was they were an all-boy gay group. Yeah. No. They're not gay at all? No. Oh. So you just look it.

Part of their success is the androgyny, right? You don't know if they're men or women. They're very accessible. Androgyny is gay, bro. Call it what it is. Can we just go back? Just call it what it is, bro. You know what's funny?

What you just said right there, that's what I said about MMA and they got all upset. You're the best journalist of all time. I know. Why am I going to let them hold down my greatness? Androgyny is gay, fam. It's gay. You know anybody androgynous who's not?

Shut the fuck up. You know anybody androgynous who's not gay? I don't know. Don't know. And even if they say they're not, you're like, come on, yo. Some of the MMA fighters, they're androgynous. They're androgynous that girl androgyne her name is androgyne she's the girl who fought earlier on the card who is

a fucking star because she goes in there looking for carnage androgyne is her name and she lives up to that shit bro and she has a lot of testers so she looked like um what's that motherfuckers from baywatch's son who's the hasselhoff son in baywatch hobie hobie buchanan hobie she looked like hobie she's so goddamn cute i was looking at that girl like goddamn you cute bruh wait because you look like a guy she looked like a beautiful but yo i will watch that girl fight any day of the week that girl is about the fucking So you just now So I was acting a little Androgynous I was acting a little Androgynous But yo I will watch that girl Fight any day of the week

That girl is about The fucking action Now we're talking She's the girl that Picked up Rose Nama Nama Nama

Whatever her fucking name is Do you know the girl's name Nama Nama Nama What the fuck is her name Nama Nama

Who knows Nama Nama But she picked her up And dropped her on her head And knocked her out Damn Oh I remember that

That's a fight Crazy That's a fight You watch that girl again You're like I want to see you Pick a girl up and dropped her on her head and knocked her out. Damn. Oh, I remember that. That's a fight. Crazy. That's a fight. You watch that girl again. You're like, I want to see you pick a girl up and drop her on her head. Not like I want to see that normally. Have you watched her again?

Say what? Have you watched her again? Every fight. I watched her this fight. But did you tune in for it? When I saw her come out, I was like, okay, homie. And what was her name again? Homie.

Homie Asilov. Son, she's adorable, son. She's absolutely adorable. And we'll fuck all y'all up. Nah. Stop it. Stop it. I'll put her in some jujitsu. Oh.

I'll put her in some jujitsu. Yeah, talk that shit out. Have her gargling. Okay, Jesus. Like that. Like that. Son, I have her gargling. Rear naked?

Rear naked joke? Yo, it could be naked, clothed. It don't matter. Do youar naked joke? Yo, it could be naked, clothed. It don't matter. Do you know what I'm saying? It could be naked, clothed. I throw in a triangle. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Y'all don't even know about all these submissions that I know. The Omniplata. Oh, what is that one? That's too hard to even describe. Demonstrate. The Omniplata? Demonstrate.

You get like that. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don like that. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. That's the one. That's the one. Got him! You got to do that one. The Omniplaza is fire. Put her in a finger four leg lock.

The finger four leg lock. The dagga dagga. I would do it. That one is fucking fire. The Don't Call Stunner. That Don't Call Stunner is next level. The Chinese finger lock, that shit is wild crazy to get out of. Wild crazy. The finger lock is impossible to get out of.

Because the more you pull, the tighter it gets. Exactly. Boom. You can't get out. Jiu Jitsu. The only way through is in. A couple pieces of paper. The only way through is in. You gotta go in and then snatch it out real quick. That's it. Respect.

So it turns out gay marriage in South Korea is not legal. Mark with facts. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You try and tell me. You try and tell me. Gay marriage is not legal, but dog is. That's what I was trying to get at. Hold on, hold on, hold on. gay marriage is illegal but dog is legal yeah you're trying to tell me you put a dick in mouth

dick in mouth no can do no can do but dog in mouth scooby doo that's crazy that is super super while male and female same sex activities are legal marriage and other forms of legal partnership are not so basically you can do gay shit you just can't get married that's kind of fire

that's kind of super fire so they're like yeah you could be butt fucking and licking clits but you can't get married to one. Oh, my God. But you can kill a dog and eat it if you want to. You can kill a dog and eat it. Yeah.

So the South Korean president, Moon Jae-in, has raised banning. I'm making shit up. You be making shit up, bro. We're talking about Kanye songs, bro. We know the difference, bro. Come on. Come on, bro. Say his real name.

Don't be racist. This motherfucker be so racist. They be calling his ass out. They be calling his ass out. He's like, yo, he's supposed to know the facts and shit like that. Guy just making up names. Bad fucking Korean names, bro. Just because their faces are big, white, and round don't mean their name is Moon, bro.

That's super fucking racist. Yo, that's maybe one of the more racist things you ever said, Mark. I think it is, bro. All right. Say his real name, son. Moon J. N. has raised banning the eating of dogs in the country. Hold on. His name is literally Moon J. N.?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's correct. Al, did you think that that was true when we were making fun of that? And then I said that what seems now is a very racist joke? I still don't believe it. Yeah, Moon is crazy, bro. He's reading it wrong. What do they even know what a moon is a very racist joke? I still don't believe it. Yeah, moon is crazy, bro. He's reading it wrong.

What do they even know what a moon is? Sun is moon everything. They got moon everything. No, this is moon. No, it's moon. It's moon. There's never a moon. No, hold up, hold up.

But moon for us ain't moon for them. Like when they're looking up at the sky. How's it spelled? They're not... M-O-O-N. Oh. Moon. Hold up.

He didn't pronounce it right. Go look at what moon means, because there's no way we both got the same word for moon, and every other word is different. Right? Like, what's the word for car? It's a place, yo. It's not car. It's a place.

What do you mean? Moon in Spanish is luna. It's not moon. That's a fact. As a family name, moon is written with one hanja, meaning writing. So it means it's basically a family name for writers in Korea. He ain't no writer. Yeah, he's the president, son.

Snatch his shit. Yo, take his moon back, son. Take his moon back. Why don't you write a law outlawing eating dogs? Yeah, that's what he's trying to do. Why are you proposing verbally? You're a writer. The traditional practice has become an international embarrassment, his office said.

So they do eat dogs or they don't eat dogs? They do eat dogs. So then enough when we make fun of them for it. Enough. Well, you have to be specific. You have to be specific with it. Say what? You can't just be like, oh, all Asians eat dog.

That's a racial stereotype. I've never said that. I believe that, but I've never said that. I believe that. And I believe that for a long time. So how would you rephrase believe that, but I've never said that. I believe that. And I believed that for a long time. So how would you rephrase it if you didn't want to be

racially insensitive? Well, we don't know if it's illegal or not in China. Have you looked it up? I haven't checked just yet. Come on, yo. I've been kind of busy with the South Korea.

There's a whole fucking dog-eating festival in China. What's it called? The fucking doggy dog. Doggy stuff. Doggy stuff. No, there's a dog. Doggy dog world. There's a doggy dog world. No, there's a doggy dog world. There's a doggy dog world.

No, there's a dog eating festival in China. They've been trying to shut that down. White girls have been trying to shut that shit down for years. According to the article, meat has long been a part of South Korean cuisine with one million dogs believed to be eaten annually. Man, come on. Come on, dog. We hating the wrong Korea. Yeah.

Yo, I bet they don't do that in North Korea. China is. They got no food period to hate. That's the problem. The Yulin Festival. The Yulin Festival. It's China's festival of eating dog meat. They got a whole festival about eating dogs, son.

That's crazy, bro. That's crazy. Try to eat my dog, yo. I'll slap the shit out of you. Yo, I swear to God. I'm going to start walking my dog in fucking Koreatown now. I'm going to start walking my dog in Koreatown, yo. I'm going to start walking my dog in Koreatown, yo. Staring at them.

Why are you tempting that shit? I know, because I need to let them know. It's like when you blood, you walk in a crip neighborhood flagging. I'm walking Sabi in K-Town. What's up? Having people in the window doing karaoke, just drop the mic like, what? Yo,

honestly, I'm out here. I'm making a difference, bro. You think I won't walk my dog in Korea time? You're just tired of this dog. You'll be like, yo, if they take it, they take it. That's what I was thinking the whole time. What happened to the other dog you had? Definitely the last dog went to that festival.

You just have two dogs. We sent that dog to Yunlin. We sent that dog to Young Limb Festival 100%. And the dog's name was Cookie, so you know. They had a bad fortune, yo. Ah, that was good. So some people have pet rabbits and they eat rabbit. Why don't you have an issue with that?

Who has a pet rabbit? People. No. People have pet rabbits. No. Weirdos, yo. People also have pet rats and shit like that. They're all weird for that.

Yeah, but are you allowed to eat rats? Whites. Some people might say that's a double standard, that you're not okay with them eating dogs. Son, I believe in double standards. That's fine. That's fine. I believe in double standards, bro.

Son, I honestly think we should eat cats. Like, get them out of here. I thought we did. I thought it was cat. No, I didn't. Honestly, I thought it was cat because the chicken tastes too good for it to be just chicken.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah chicken sometimes you have chicken and it hits different and you're like oh yeah is this the sauce or whatever but nah it might be cat and I think it's fancy cat too I think that shit is like Siamese those cats are fire and they fed it with a fancy feast

they got it going what's that cow it's wagyu it's wagyu yeah massaged it's wagyu yeah belly rolling on the ground 100%

that Kobe beef we're not talking about street alley fucking cat over here we're talking about a cat that has been raised to be eaten yeah

yeah but you wouldn't have a bite of dog if you were at the Oolong festival in China yo fuck you yo yo yo it's a Yulin festival

I know you racist son of a bitch I pronounced it the correct way no no you are racist it's the moon moon what what's it called moon face that sounds like a rapper bro moon please baby bro moon face baby is the new rapper coming out of south korea and he is fired yeah moon face baby moon face is my moon face that's your rap name i'm calling myself moon face yeah i'm south korean He is fire. Moonface, baby. Moonface is fire. Moonface? That's your rap name. I'm calling myself Moonface. I'm South Korean.

What if Gungam style was just a way to cook dog? Wouldn't that be fucked up? We didn't know. Wouldn't that be fucked up? The dance just took you out to do that shit. Yeah, son. That's it. That's two leashes, I think.

That's fucked up, man. That's how they get this. You want to have one bite of dog? Come on, bro. Just for the cultural experience? No. Fuck you. Mark, what if they told you the type of dog it was?

He tried to get you. And Mark got cats. Mark don't get it. He even tried to get you bodied this entire episode. Mark don't even got to go. First, he's defending innocent ladies that are forced to fight for a living. I know. Like, come on, bro.

That's trafficking. That's fucked up. Honestly, fight trafficking? Fight trafficking is a. That's trafficking. That's fucked up. Fight trafficking is a major problem coming out of the Eastern Bloc. We gotta bring that up. And you are disrespectful. You don't care about women. You want to see women get beaten up.

Would you let your woman fight? I guess it depends what the purse is. What's the purse? Why's it gotta be a purse? Because she's a woman? Why's it gotta be a purse is. Nah, would you let your woman fight? Wow. What's the purse? Why it's got to be a purse? Because she's a woman? Why it's got to be a purse? If it's Hermes, if it's a woman. It can't be a wallet? It can't be a wallet?

If it's Hermes. It is 2021. We don't call it a purse anymore. What do we call it? The winning. The winnings. The money at the end. The end money.

The money. How much you get paid in a contract. Nah, for real, dude. If it's Hermes, I'd let her fight. What did you say that was racist that we were just talking about? Never anything. What did he just say? The Mulan Festival.

He called it the Mulan Festival. He called it the Mulan Festival. It's U-Lin Festival. And you wouldn't eat one bite? Say again? You wouldn't eat one bite. Of dog? It depends what type of dog.

That's my question. That's what I'm saying. What if they told you this? A specific type of dog, I would probably. Which dog? Pit bull? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's what I'm saying. What if they told you this? A specific type of dog I would probably eat. Which dog? Pit bull? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's too gamey.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not into the pit bulls or any of that kind of stuff. What about a little dog? Wiener dog I would eat. That'd probably be good, actually. Yeah, yeah. I would definitely eat that choice. That's a good choice.

Honestly. Yeah. I'd treat it like a luau. Just cook it under the ground for six hours and just pull little pieces of it off that'd be delicious dude wiener dog I'm definitely eating corgi also bite the ear off like a chicharron chihuahua?

what about chihuahua? would you eat chihuahua? chihuahua no I wouldn't I'd put it in a salt shaker and just grind it onto the rest of my food 100% just flakes of chihuahua on there shit I'm trying to think. Yeah, I mean, there's certain dogs. Pomeranian?

Would you do Pomeranian? No, definitely not. What type of dog do you have? Malt-y poo. Malt-y poo. That sounds delicious. It's got poo in the title, you fucking weirdo. But it has malt.

Like a Malt-easer. Literally, that's like dessert. Malt? Malt? Oh, malt is a thing. Malt is a thing. But Malt-y poo? The poo got a fucking name, right?

Yeah, shit milkshake? Yeah. I don't know if that's the one. Oh, chow chow, that'd be good. What is a chow chow? Chow chow. It's literally just

its own brand? Eat, eat, yeah. That's what that shit means. Did they name it in South Korea? Probably. It was a Chinese guard dog. What was it guarding?

People's fucking hunger? Yo, that shit is mad annoying. Would you eat the really fat bulldogs? Maybe the meat will be like foie gras or some shit like that. British or American? English bulldog. I'll eat an English bulldog. I want to eat anything American.

The ones that are super fat with all the wrinkles. If that's English, I'll eat it. If you've ever eaten English food, that shit tastes like it's probably dog anyway. Well, what do dogs fire? Fucking disgusting. Yeah, English food is trash. Trash? What, are they defending their food?

Get out of here. This shit sucks. Yeah, the ego. The ego to colonize the whole world. And not pick up any cooking. Yeah. Just like literally the whole world. They had the entire world to choose from.

Yeah. Right? And they brought one dish back, fucking chicken curry. Yeah. That's the one dish that you find on every bar food. Yeah, it is. It's a national dish. They treat it as if it's English food.

Yeah. It is kind of. It's not. Oh, it doesn't exist? Do more of those. Do more of those. You conquered everybody. You wanted spices.

No. You got them. You conquer people and get them to cook for you. Yeah. Why the fuck are you doing the work? No, no, no. It's appropriate to appropriate, and they got to figure that shit out. Nah.

Yeah. Forget your goddamn cooking up. Bangers and mash. Grow up, you fucking. What's a banger. It's appropriate to appropriate and they gotta figure that shit out. Forget your goddamn cooking up. Bangers and mash. Grow up, you fucking... What's a banger? Sausage. Sausage and potatoes. Bangers and mash. Name is fire. If you're eating at home, they have great restaurants everywhere.

Pubs is where you get bangers and mash. They don't have any. Nando's, that shit is mid as fuck. There's no cuisine that is delicious as fuck. But nothing proprietary. There's no cuisine that is delicious from them. They got some fire baked goods. Wait, the British? Biscuits?

I kind of like a shepherd's pie. I can go for it. Shepherd's pie is fire. Pies are fire. No, no, no. Shepherd's pie is fire. Pies are fire. I don't eat beef. And we don't eat bread, so.

Yeah. What's your favorite? Potato. Potato crust. That's that too. That's true. Also, I tried to catch you on the Scotland thing. Scottish people never ate dog.

Of course they didn't eat dog. And to the opposite, Irish and Scottish mythical heroes vowed to avoid dog meat. Of course. We understand the importance of dogs. Which is what? Protection. They allowed our cerebral cortex to develop. Ooh.

Okay. He made that up. Number one cerebral cortex journalist in America. Honestly, I am. I'm Okay. He made that up. Number one cerebral cortex journalist in America. Honestly, I am. I'm also a gynecologist. Those two things are so unrelated.

Actually, when you got pussy on the brain, they're really not that different. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!. a do. a do. a do. a do. a do. a do But in all seriousness, yeah, I mean, I think who was I talking to about this? Maybe it was Giannis or something like that, but they paid their dues. Horses and dogs have paid their dues. We have a debt to them. We were able to build this great, amazing society because of the protection that horses and dogs have provided. Definitely dogs, and then horses, obviously military, bro.

We were riding them bitches for fucking centuries going to war. They shed blood. They earned their right not to be eaten. Horses, dogs. That's it. We don't eat them. What do dogs protect? Say what?

What do dogs protect? So when we were domesticating dogs. I know they did like herding shit, right? There's like sheep dogs. No, but even before that, basically what happened is like, there were wolves, obviously. But when they started domesticating the wolves,

the wolves would offer protection and like signal to the humans that there was, you know, bears or fucking lions or any of these things. But think about that there was you know bears or fucking lions or but think about that now you don't have to use any mental energy listening all fucking day now you can start building your house now you can start planting things you can actually leave food out because you know the dogs are going to protect it or notify it but before that it's just straight survival mode so they allowed apparently i forget which part of your brain but like they allowed a certain part of our brain to develop and um because of that we have the society we have now it's pretty impressive which apparently

to this day if you hear a dog breathing while you sleep you get like more REM cycles and deeper sleep yeah maybe it was you I was talking to about this I think Whitney Cummings told me that yeah Whitney got all them brain facts bro which also speaking of dogs yeah you think dog bounty hunter is gonna get Brian Laundrie yeah it has to it's the only way back dude yeah what do you mean dude he said the n-word yeah okay unforgivable unforgivable he said the n-word which is unforgivable right um from black people black people do not forgive white people is you know we we're a little bit more forgiving i just googled the story and according to the headline dog the bounty hunter says he thought he had a past to use the n-word oh you gotta see

it like eminem no no it's amazing who also didn't have a passion like he uh muted it out of every uh album but no he said it in like rap battles and shit he said it back in detroit like when he was with his boys and shit like that but But with Dog, it's super funny because the interviewer who's black asked him, he goes, well, who gave you this pass? And he goes,

the brothers. Which I mean, who else is he going to give it to? No, that's right. I would hope. But yeah, if he gets Brian Laundrie, I mean,

you got to re-up the show. Is there forgiveness? Al, is there forgiveness? No. If he finds the killer of a white queen, do black men forgive him? We still don't know if he's a killer. What if she was alive and maybe you could have sex with her? We still don't know if he's the killer.

He took her van, bro. It's innocent until proven guilty, bro. Yo, he's not wrong. It's innocent until proven guilty. Even if he did kill her, he's still innocent. What about OJ? Did he kill her? No.

That's true. He was proven guilty. Casey Anthony. Did Casey Anthony kill her? No, it's the same logic, though. He was proven innocent. Now, let me ask you. He was proven guilty, so he's innocent.

Oh, so he's definitely innocent. He definitely didn't kill her. Yeah. What about Casey Anthony? I don't know enough about that one. She was proven innocent. Casey Anthony's dead? She wasn't proven guilty, so then she's dead. Wait, what happened to Casey Anthony? Yeah, I don't know enough about that one. She was proven innocent. Casey Anthony's dead? She wasn't proven guilty, so then she's dead.

Wait, what happened to Casey Anthony? Yeah, I don't know enough about this. I truly don't know anything about this woman. People are suggesting that she killed her daughter because her daughter was missing and then found in the woods. Son, kids be annoying sometimes, bro. And then they tried her for first-degree murder. Stop, stop.

You got too many kids in your hands. And then she was found not guilty. Cut that shit out. Say what? She was found not guilty say what? she was found not guilty that's a banger I feel like there's an abortion joke that was very good

that was very good kids be annoying bro in the womb motherfucker? how annoying can they be? mad annoying like come on bro you never make it that far in the womb?

They do, they do, they do. They don't even cry in the womb, bro. Nah, nah, but you gotta deal with the girl and what she needs. She's tired. Yeah, she wants Nutella at two in the morning. You're like, all right, we'll get this thing out of here, bro.

I can't be getting you Nutella at two in the motherfucking morning. Here's your respect. Yeah, why this kid got a sweet tooth and he ain't even got teeth yet? What's up with this kid's diet, yo? Yeah, man. All right, guys, we're gonna take a break for a second

because i need to make sure you're smoking the greatest cbd on the planet and that is cushy shouts to cushy dreams for real official sponsor the infamous tour and the flagrant two podcast if you're smoking cbd it's got to be cushy simple as that they they focus specifically on the flour. Okay? The flour, they got the pre-rolls as well. If you smoke weed and you think it's a little bit strong, but you want to mix it in without something that's going to mess up the flavor. I know you mix it with tobacco. The flavor's all fucked up. Mix it in with the CBD. You got a nice, smooth pull.

And you can enjoy that session. Maybe you don't want to get too high. Maybe you got some work to do. Maybe you're like me and you can't smoke weed because it makes you fucking sad. So you smoke that CBD to chill, relax, and cool it. I love the CBD. After a nice show, the CBD is great. I love this.

Is it not great? Yeah. I don't smoke weed, but this is perfect. That's what I'm talking about. So, Cushy Dreams is the truth. K-U-S-H-Y, dreams.com. And you can use the promo code flagrant for 20% off your next order. Make sure you use that promo code flagANT for 20% off your next order. Make sure you use that promo code FLAGRANT for 20% off that next order.

I'm telling you, if you smoke CBD at all, you will smoke this, and you'll never smoke anything else again. That is a truth. That is a fact. That's coming from right here. Schultzy on FLAGRANT, too. Make sure you go check it out. Now, let's get back to the show.

All right. So we got Dwayne Chapman going out for Brian Laundrie. My question is, Dwayne Chapman, that's Dwayne Bounty. Oh, okay. Come on, come on, son. Don't use his government. Don't use his government. I use people's government names.

Hey, tell me you didn't think that was a black dude, though. Dwayne Chapman? Maybe that's why he thought he had the N-word. That's my point. Everybody thought he was black. The brothers probably called him. The brothers called him, and they were like, yeah, it's cool. Hey, Dwayne Chapman, we're giving out N-word passes. How many chat more give it out and we're white you know bro yeah exactly and on top of that

white duane duane reed never in my life i know duane michael j had a funny joke he's like uh the most uh the most the wealthiest black man in new york duane reed but go on and on top of that he even said that I have never been racist I'm 33 and a half percent Apache and uh and he I thought I had a pass that's a lot of percent

yo so he's Native American this whole time Native Americans don't get the pass Native Americans get the pass I thought I had a pass

in the black tribe to use it tribe he called him a tribe which I feel like he's got more races than a woman no he's treating them

like they're from Africa yeah I like that I thought that's what the treating them like they're from Africa. Yeah, I like that. I thought that's what the reservation's for. They're waiting for their animal repasses. Oh, Duff, I'm typing away. This is a little... Okay.

Let me live, bro. We've been on a flagrant streak lately, okay? We are the foremost journalists of flagrancy. No, absolutely not. That we are. That's a fact. That we are. That's a fact.

You can trace it back. Okay? But no. His quotes on this shit are so funny. What'd he say? I had just gotten out of prison in 1979 after spending 18 months in Texas, and it was probably three quarters of the black tribe in the jail. So that was-

We gonna let him go with quarters? Yeah. We gonna let him go? That's how it's spelled. Oh, this word nerd? That's how it's spelled. They put a U in it with quarlers? Yeah. We're going to let him go? That's how it's spelled. This word nerd? That's how it's spelled. They put a U in it. That's how it's spelled.

They put an L also. Okay. So that was the word that we used back and forth as maybe a compliment. My pass expired for using it, dot, dot, dot,

but no one told me that. To say a racist name doesn't qualify you to make you a racist. Hey, bro. He says his pass expired, but he didn't realize it was just out of date. He just made it re-up. It's his tags. Like, his tags were up, and then no one was

like, yo, your tags are up. That's all it seems like. I kind of respect that. Once I know he's Native American, he kind of gets better. Yo, 33% is not nothing, bro. How do you become 33%, though? A threesome. It must be. It must be a threesome. It must be. I mean, no disrespect to dog mom, but like...

She was getting the crazy one, right? Like, if you're 33, that's such a specific percentage. No, how are you a third? Because if it's half and half, then you're a quarter. If it's half and full... You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It don't make sense.

That's why he said threesome. Might have been a thrizzy, yo. Yeah. Might have hit the thrizzy one time with an Apache and two whites. Yo! That's Thanksgiving right there. That'd be a foursomezy one time with an apache and two whites yo that's thanksgiving right there foursome wait why apache and two whites no no oh well i'm gonna be talking about the dudes getting up in it yeah you're not the journalist of math today i'm not the journalist of math oh so who's the patch oh but apaches are two-spirit actually so it might be

a foursome to you yeah Yeah, there you go. I agree with you. That's a good point. This is true. No, but the mom dukes is white girl, right? I'm assuming, yeah. And then one Apache, one white. Yeah, so I guess that would mean his dad was 66% Apache somehow.

So I don't really know how the math breaks down. No. Full Apache, white mom, white dad and the apache dude up in there guts yeah two sperm interlock made a tp yes like avatar yeah avatar they do the tp of course i like that but they're the sperms avatar on the way in sperm penetrate the egg, he comes out 33% Native American. That's it. I think that's it. And the fact he's Native American might make it easier for him to find Brian Laundrie. Why? Because he knows the lay of the land. He can track.

That's racist. If Brian Laundrie got footprints, he could track them. How's that racist? Saying that Native Americans know the lay of the land. It'd be racist if he said they know the land of the lakes. That's what I meant to say. I was actually trying to. I knew what he wanted to say. That's what I meant to say. I was actually trying. I actually said it more progressively. I knew what he wanted to say.

That's what I was calling out. You wanted to be racist, and I knew where you were going with it. You don't have a pass, bro. Yeah. How could you say that? How dare you? How dare you

Come on Y'all need to chill the fuck out Can we get back to this? MMA Look Who's left? Say what? I think that we need to talk about

Whether or not Chris Cuomo Is Italian as well Very Is he Italian? Have you heard this story guys? Yes Chris Cuomo is Italian as well. Very. Very Italian. Is he Italian? Have you heard this story, guys? Yes.

Yeah. Chris Cuomo had a boss. And you have to respect this, right? Yep. His boss at ABC News on her retirement party walks up to her, grabs her ass, allegedly, squeezes it allegedly. One hand.

Bear hug slides one hand down to a buttock. You need the allegedly button. And says, I can do this now that you're no longer my boss. And it's not alleged. He admitted to it.

He admitted to this? Yeah. Remove those alleges. Miles. Okay. Interesting. this is a sexual harassment or is this italian culture italian culture i mean that's what his dad said well that's what his brother oh yeah his brother yeah yeah yeah so his daddy but it's a different yeah but the fact that fredo had the fucking chutzpah

to go up to a woman that was his boss not his boss anymore not his boss not boss anymore was I said was his boss former boss

yeah it was right past tense that was his boss and then grab cheek and then squeeze cheek and say that little line and then later email her apologizing about it

disgusting in front of her husband her husband is there oh the husband's there husband is right there that little line and then later email her apologizing about it. Disgusting. In front of her husband. Her husband is there. Husband is right there. And what did he do though? Nothing. Cock. Dude, what a fucking cock. You gotta punch Fredo right in his head. Take him on a boat ride. For real.

It seems like he denied touching anyone inappropriately. Whoa, whoa. What do you mean? So then why would he apologize? He apologized for quote, in a way that acting in a way that made people feel uncomfortable. And what would that be? Not an embrace. You're allowed to hug people that you know. Maybe it was grabbing a girl's butt cheek

and separating her pussy lips from the back. Wow. Dude, dude, maybe that's what it was. Maybe it was grabbing those cheeks and doing a little Kermit mouth. Okay, maybe that's what it was. Maybe he was grabbing those cheeks and doing a little Kermit mouth. Okay, maybe that's what it was. Ace Ventura. Pet detective. He was petting. Yeah, he was.

It was a little bit disrespectful. This fucking guy. Can I be honest with you? I think he I don't see what the big... It was 16 years ago. Whoa. Aakash Singh, hot take. Okay, go for it. 16 years ago ago not that what he did is okay but he apologized it was 16 years ago and it's the only incident we know of so he did some shit that was

wrong he said sorry and then she said something like when he saw that he was helping his brother this she says i'm like this is how he operates. And it's like, it's one allegation. There's no pattern with one allegation. Way before Me Too. Me Too was 2017, 2018. We should have known it was wrong in 2005. But I think Me Too for everybody was like, oh, we've all done some shit. Now that's over the line for sure. But he apologized.

The next day. Did you read his full apology? It's a real awkward apology. It's so funny. It's a real awkward apology. Right before you read that, and I do want to hear this, I think that that is a very objective and nuanced approach to this story. So it's not okay that he did it, but he apologized the next day.

Yes. No scandal made him apologize. It wasn't a fake thing. Now the apology Mark's about to read is fucking awkward. That's a good point, though. But it's an apology. And I think we've all fucked up something, then realized the gravity of our error, and then stumbled through an apology, because we

realized how much we fucked up. That's a good point. And so he sent an email the next day that says, now that I think of it, dot dot dot, I'm ashamed. That's the header of the email. Yep. Though my hearty greeting was a function of being glad to see you, dot dot dot.

Christian Slater got arrested for a kind of similar act, though born of an alleged negative intent unlike my own. And as a husband, I can empathize with not liking to see my wife padded as such. So pass along my apology to your very good and noble husband. And I apologize to you as well for even putting you in such a position. Next time, I'll remember the lesson, no matter how happy I am to see you. Dot, dot, dot. This guy's a scumbag. husband and i apologize to you as well for even putting you in such a position next time i'll remember the lesson no matter how happy i am to see you this guy's a scumbag this guy's an absolute fucking monster apology he goes he's a rapist bro all right this that's a lot the guy's

a rapist go go allegedly hit. Did he not rape her butt? Did he not? He said he patted. Yeah, he said, yeah, to see my wife patted. One man's pat is another man's grope. You don't know what a pat is. She stopped him in the moment, too. In the moment, he said, I can do that now.

And she pushed him away. I was like, no, you can't. No, you can't. I have a husband. Yeah, so you guys got to stop patting my ass every time I walk by, bro. Now, you're getting grope. That shit is not good. I'm sliding a finger in next time. Like in basketball, you make a shot, got to stop patting my ass every time I walk by, bro. Now you're getting gross. I'm sliding a finger in next time. Like in basketball, you make a shot, you get the pat on the ass.

I try to stick... I have a policy here at Schultz Studios. What's that? Your body... Dove fact check this. My choice. And that's just how things go. Is that what HR says? That's it.

That's the policy. Dove's dick has been touched by me. Okay? Your ass has been touched by me. And Mark. Mark has put a finger inside of your ass. That's true. Okay?

But that was direct orders. I didn't even want to do it. He made me do it. Has damn near threatened to suck everybody's dick in here. That's true. On a regular basis. On a regular basis. Promised, basis promised really that's a promise still might take it up on that one that's what i'm talking and you've removed your clothing at

certain times i've taken off my clothing during a very important conference calls and i've jerked off okay i don't want to wait wait wait wait wait i've jerk wait, wait. I jerked off. Wait, wait. I jerked off on all of you. On me? Every one of you, I jerked off on. Other than the jellyfish incident, when did you jerk off on me? You guys didn't know this. But. Nope.

Nope. There was a time where we were having the group exercise when we were doing the bonding, the group bonding exercise. Nope. Don't remember. We were sitting back to back in a circle. Everybody's backs in a circle. I missed that day.

And I told you that I was going to jerk off. I definitely wasn't here that day. Doug, you was here that day? You were here. Did you say jerk off or did you use another? It was during our HR conference. Yeah. HR slash team building.

I started masturbating. I started masturbating. I started masturbating. And I jerked off into the air. And I was very surprised. Someone else was also jerking off. Oh, I do remember this. Someone else was also jerking off. You looked at me and you said, turtle time.

Yes, I did. I did say that. I said turtle time. I jerked off. And I thought I would be the only one. Someone else was jerking off. And who was that? I got hit too.

I don't know who it was to this day say what schultz ck hey listen listen listen listen we all got to get in where we fit in but somebody else somebody else was doing it bro who i don't know who's the was it you culprit was it you was it you was it you it Miles? Was it Shifty? Miles had been backed up for a long time. I jerk off to you guys in the privacy of my own home. Thank you. Respect.

Respect. Thank you. I appreciate that. Really? Respect only. What else would I think about? You ever jerking off and then you have to think about work or something comes into your head? You're like, ah, get out of here.

You guys do that? Me neither. No, have you ever been hitting it and then all of a sudden someone will call you, like right at the moment, and you're like, fuck. Chifty. Then you got to hang up, but you're thinking about them. Right as like, you know, nothing. Nothing.

Me neither. Actually, this is a really fun game. You say things that have happened, and then you just go, nah, yeah, yeah. Never happened to me. Just curious. Al, go. Yeah, I got one. Al's never jerked off.

Yeah, I don't jerk off. I'll be honest with you guys. I was joking about the jerk off thing. Yeah, same, same, same. I've never been jerked off by you guys, or you guys never jerked off on me, and I've never jerked off on you, and we actually never had that bonding experience.

Oh, okay. I made up that story. Damn. I thought you were a credible journalist, bro. Yeah. Shit. I was lying for headlines, lying for headlines dude i was lying for clickbait you're trying to be inflammatory i was literally trying to be inflammatory because i thought that it would like drive views or something to the pod you know what i mean but like i i'm i don't want to do that cheap shit dude yeah i don't want to do that you're gonna jerk off dude for real yeah yeah if i'm gonna take some time out of my day to

pleasure myself then i'm just gonna do that very honorable of you yeah i'm an honorable guy that's why you're wearing your hunting jacket yeah what do you think i'm hunting in this fucking girls with shaved side of their heads androgynous yeah yeah androgynous is back yeah hobie hobie hobie buchanan hobie jeremy jackson all right so is he canceled now or what the headline is Yeah. Hobie. Hobie? Hobie Buchanan. Jeremy Jackson. All right, so is he canceled now? Who, Cuomo? The headline is hilarious. What's the headline?

Because the headline is literally, Chris Cuomo sexually harassed me, but I don't think he should be fired. Respect. Well, she wants him to apologize on air. Well, I hope he'll use his power to make change. Yeah. Which is weirdly like a level of response. Why does it have to be on air?

Why can't I just apologize to you? Public humiliation. That's what she wants. I get it. It makes sense. Oh, because she felt publicly humiliated probably when he did it? Yeah. And also this guy publicly humiliates people for a living, right?

Like he takes people who oppose him and his views and he just calls them idiots and shames them on TV. And she's probably kind of annoyed. She watches him just like run his mouth all the time. And she's probably kind of annoyed. She watches him just run his mouth all the time, and she's looking at it like, Really, bro? You're going off on Matt Lauer for something, but you're not going to acknowledge what you did to me?

And they both know. There's an email correspondence. It's not like he was shit-faced, and he can pretend like he completely forgot it. You locked it in. There is proof. There is evidence. There's a difference between what Matt Lauer did, though,

and what this guy's doing. What did Matt Lauer did, though, and what this guy's doing. What did Matt Lauer do? I'm pretty sure he's an actual. I think he's an actual. After what? The best desk ever. You get that little button. Yeah, that's the only thing I know about Matt Lauer.

What? Is that he had a trap door that would drop women into a dungeon, I think. Yeah. But who hasn't done that? It puts the lotion on its skin. Has he ever said that in one of his meetings put it in the bucket yeah exactly dude that's what happens at the end of the meeting right before he goes yeah so yeah no i'm great you know this is good we have a great good ideas and we'll make

sure we get it done and it puts the lotion on its skin he's like wait what was that say again now but what did he do what What did Matt Lauer do? I'm pretty sure he was a raper. I'm fairly certain. No, dude. That's not true. The guy's still working. No, I don't think he is.

Oh. No, but my understanding is that a girl that he had a relationship for an extended period of time that was working on the show. But they had like, it wasn't just like a one-off thing. What's the trap door for if not rape? There's no trap door. It was a button? Yeah, yeah, no. It's a lock. They can't get out a one-off thing. What's the trap door for if not rape? There's no trap door. It was a button. Yeah, yeah, no. It's a lock.

They can't get out or some shit like that. It is kind of a trap door in a different way. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. No, they can get out. They just unlock the door. It's not like it only locks from the desk, right? But what it does is it allows him to lock the door without getting off of his seat,

which is what you want. Getting off. Your dick sucked on your seat. Hold on. Let me go turn the fucking... You can't just tell her to do it before she comes over? Well, you can't have her

walk in the room and go, lock the door. That's a little creepy. Like, we have to pretend, you know, like, oh, yeah, is there some pain? But doing, like, the pants down,

shuffle to the door, lock it. It's pathetic. Yeah. And the girl's already sucking your dick. You're going to make her get up and go fucking

lock the door, too? Yeah. Come on. That's crazy, no? That's how you know it's like a dick's a chore that you're like i'm not gonna make you do two yeah that's disrespect that's disrespect she's already on her knees she got those like stupid little black office heels you know what i mean she had to take those off you know the ones i'm talking about um all i can read is from

like the headlines is that uh sexual harassment and then uh persisted sexual harassment once he returned to new york so he harassed a reporter during the 2014 winter olympics in sochi russia so i'm assuming he was in russia i was like all right i mean there's whores everywhere in russia probably i don't understand this like oh i thought he was doing this in the office why do we hear about the office so yeah i gotta find out the best thing yeah there's some office stuff too why are you talking about Sochi? What happens abroad stays abroad. Oh, shit. Nah?

Yeah, shoot. I'm just saying. But then he did it in New York also. It persisted even after he got back. This case, I like the fact that she doesn't want, like, the full cancellation stuff. It's like, hey, let's, even though it was a shitty situation for me, let's try to make it not like a learning experience, but like, you know,

your career doesn't need to be over, but you can still right your wrong. Yeah, but then it's over. Is it? This is what she's saying. She says, I'm not asking for Mr. Cuomo to become the next casualty in this story, but I do want him to journalistically repent. Agree on air to become the next casualty in this story, but I do want him to journalistically repent,

agree on air to study the impact of sexism, harassment, and gender bias on the workplace, including his own, and then report on it. I guess he could also annoy you more because he's now helping his brother out of his shit, and it's like, oh, he might have apologized to me, but you didn't learn anything. He's a scumbag.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No question. And the wolves are coming because now he doesn't have the protection of his brother. Like, when you have the protection of your brother, you can't really say shit about him because it's like, uh-oh, now I'm going to have to hear from. He's a made man. Exactly.

Real talk. Literally that. You can't say shit. And now the mob boss just got taken out. Oh, shit. Yeah. All right, guys, we got to take a break for a second because I got to make sure y'all don't go bald. Simple as that.

Y'all could be going bald And not even knowing it And you know dudes we lie to ourselves out here We're the last ones to know that we fell off We're the last ones to know our hair fell out Okay Because we lie Well you know what doesn't lie

Baldness Baldness tells you the truth every single motherfucking day So what you gotta do is stop it before it starts Okay And you know what you're going to do that with? Keeps. You're going to do it with Keeps. I'm telling you, this is the stuff we're all on and that's why we're living luscious. Okay?

Arkash, you on it? Son, I didn't know. To your point, I was losing hair up here, up here. Might as well straighten up. Keeps offers simple, stress-free ways to keep your hair convenient. Virtual doctor consultations and medication delivered straight to your door every three months. You don have to leave your home low cost treatment starts just at ten dollars per month and keeps offers generic versions discreet packaging improving results

keeps has more five-star views than any of its competitors so remember this prevention is the key if you got it you even think for a second it might be going away a little bit, get on it. Because treatments can take four to six months to see results. Act fast. If you're ready to take action, prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash flagrant to receive your first month free. Think about that. Okay? That's keeps.com slash flagrant to get your first month free. keeps.com slash flagrant. Get on it. Get your hair back. Get out there. Crush on box. Let's get your first month free. K-E-E-P-S dot com slash flagrant.

Get on it. Get your hair back. Get out there. Crush on box. Let's get back to the show. Now the wolves are coming. Yeah. But she came with like a pretty leveled,

like, accusation. She was like, here's the receipts. Here's what happened. I was wrong by this, but it wasn't to the degree that it should be a career ending. So figure your shit out. Fix it.

Learn something. I just don't get when shit happens 16 years ago. I think we need to see the ass because if it's... If it's flat... If it's flat... 16 years ago. 16 years ago, if it was flat, it's a joke. If she had

the soup dupe fatty, right? If she had the wagon... The bottom heavies? If she had the bottom heavies and he grabbed it we're like this is sexual But if she had nothing If she had the moon bro If she just had that flat face back there If she was moon face back there

Then you know it's a joke He's not grabbing that thing for him He's obviously making it uncomfortable And he fucked up and he did a stupid joke And he should never do it But it's not sexual. That's the thing about harassment. Who gets inside if it's sexual or not?

Yeah. What if she just drained? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Oh, why'd you call me sexy in my outfit? You're like, I was being sarcastic. Yeah. I'm not really calling you sexy.

Look at you. You don't got no ass, bro. Let's say this girl's walking down the street. Right? This huge girl's walking down the street. You're like, damn, girl. And she's like, why are you sexually harassing me?

Bitch, I'm trying to save your life. You're fucking huge. You know what I mean? You have diabetes. Look at you. No, you look like a damn. That's what I was saying. You could stop a river.

You could stop a river. I'm sitting here in New Orleans. Please. You're a levy. Oh, I understand. Right? Oh, I see what you're saying. So I think we need to get,

we need to look into sexual harassment. Not all harassment is sexual. We have to have to talk about it could just be regular harassment that's i harassed you no doubt yeah but you're gonna put sexual on here cocky ass that's arrogant that's arrogant do you know what i'm saying what if i'm like nice tits you don't know if i just had a kid and maybe my kid would really want to suck on your titties. You know what I'm saying? Like maybe I just birthed a kid and he's sucking on titties, right? And you have some titties that look like they got milk in them.

Yeah. Just like crazy. That's not sexual. You're not a sexual object to me. You're livestock to me. That's livestock. Which is harassment. You're a dairy cow.

I'm a farmer. I'm a farmer. Yeah. I care about my child Ian. Yeah. You're a whole foods. Right? Yeah, I see it. I'm see it say it yo let's talk about like you don't know if the right if the harassment is sexual or not you got to talk to me first before we jump to that conclusion if i say some shit talk to me

first how'd you mean that doesn't matter so it could be harassment but just not sexual yes there we go i'm a harasser. We harass each other all day. Do I not harass you? All day. You harass me. All day. As friends. Sometimes it's sexual.

Sometimes it's sexual. Why are you snitching, bro? I mean, sometimes. Why can't it be sometimes sexual? Well, we do it our private life. Come on, y'all. Y'all remember the time where we all put our dicks right in the middle, and then we started jerking off because Al was like, this is just like when I used to play stickball on the

streets of Far Rockaway. Fire Hydrant was open in the summer. Remember when we tried to make it a little homecoming party for you? Yeah, and then we stuck our dicks in the Chinese finger traps. That was Mark's foreskin. You can't pull away.

It gets tighter. It really does. It's so unfortunate. Happy birthday, Mark, by the way. Happy birthday. 25th anniversary of my foreskin. We're doing it for your birthday. Oh, Mark, by the way. Happy birthday. 25th anniversary of my horse game. We're doing it for your birthday. Okay, for real. This is Mark's birthday.

It was Mark's birthday Monday when we're recording this, everybody at home. So make sure you go wish Mark a happy birthday. Oh, fuck. How old are you officially today? Mid-20s, bro. Late 20s. That's mid-20s. bro. 2-5. 2-5. Late 20s. Late 20s. That's late 20s.

2-5. That's mid-20s. We're rounding up. How old are you? I'm rounding up. How old are you? I'm rounding up. How old are you?

I'm 30. Late 30s? No, I'm early 30s. This guy's late 30s. We're rounding up. We're rounding up over here. You're 40. We're rounding up. This guy's late 30s.

This guy's about to have his midlife crisis over here. Your boy out here. I'm crisis in, dog. I'm in crisis mode. Which also, no one here remembers my birthday. I'm Bert Chrysler. No one remembers my birthday except Shifty. No, I did.

I remembered it as soon as Shifty told me. I remember it as soon as I saw the balloons this morning. I truly... I forgot because you texted me you were going to be eight minutes late. Look at this right here What? Look Mark Gagnon's birthday Oh man

Cut that out bro Respect Respect Respect Can we start celebrating Birthdays right here? Wait Drew did you put it

In your calendar And ignore it When you got the reminder for it? Andrew doesn't believe In birthdays You remember this? I don't believe in birthdays Do you remember this?

He doesn't believe in them He doesn't I don't either I don't believe in birthdays And not in like a **** way. Oh, yeah. Keep that in. Just believe it.

I don't believe in... I don't believe in... Keep that shit in. I don't believe in adult birthdays. I believe in child birthdays. 100%. So when does the birthdays end? 16.

No. Sweet 16? Quinceanera? 18. end? 16. No. Sweet 16? Quinceanera? 18. Nah, 16. I think once you turn 18, that's your last birthday. You're just a grown up. You're celebrating somebody's 17-year-old birthday.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. 17, that's not even an age of anything. Get a cake. Ask some people to come around. Your family. But that's it. 22. Real talk for us, it was 13 if you're a boy.

Everybody stops giving a fuck. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. But I'm not going front. You turn 40, we us, it was 13. If you're a boy, everybody stops giving a fuck. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But I'm not going front. You turn 40, we're running it back. 40-year-old birthday party, that's legit. Oh, that's legit. 50?

Why, because you got a bedtime? Say what? Why, because you got a bedtime. Yeah, we're doing a breezy brunch. Yeah. It's going to be a day party. That's why Diddy has all those parties during the day, huh? Yeah, oh, yeah.

They're just aged out of partying at night. Oh, genius. But your birthday's coming up the rock brunch or whatever it's called that shit is just hey look man we just let's get this over with do you want us to do something on your birthday we are doing something yeah we are but specifically for your birthday birthday well that's for my bachelor party that's my point do you want it to be a birthday celebration no yeah i don't care i really don't care he wants it all i don't know i i don't care about that i'm getting you a present i'm getting you a good present i mean you guys can do whatever you want but like the uh i don't know like the birthday stuff like having to sell like put it this way i think i've said this on the podcast before like uh i get enough attention i think i think people who aren't in our shoes maybe they

value uh the birthday because it really is a moment of their life where like everybody is caring about them and like everything is about them and they don't get that a lot and they might not feel like they deserve that a lot you know what i mean so there's this one excuse that's baked into their year where they get to go okay it is about me and i don't have to feel guilty about it being about me right and we're so fucking lucky that we perform on the road all the time. We're on stage. We're doing podcasts. Like, we get a lot of attention when we want.

So, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like more attention is always like a greeting. I hope that's right because I truly never understood grown men who cared about their birthday. That being said, I care about the bachelor party because I feel like it's not for me. The bachelor party is for the friends. Like, when I've gone to bachelor party because I feel like it's not for me. The bachelor party is for the friends. When I've gone to my friends' bachelor parties,

it's for the friends. But now you ruined it because now it was something for us and now we also have to care about your birthday. Wow. I just said you don't have to care about my birthday. But you know we're going to. I'm just saying. I'm the incidental. I mean, you can say happy birthday. I'm going to listen to him.

And maybe get one present and maybe get one present at least. Give me a gift or something like that. You know what I mean? And a cake. Why don't you give me

a sweet cocksucker? Whatever. A sweet birthday cocksuck. That would be nice. Oh gosh, you're top to shy, boy. Come on, bro. You're top to shy, bro.

Shit. You think I've been doing all the podcasts all these years? Shit. Come on, man. Okay, so can we have a serious conversation?

Yeah, let's start the podcast. Okay, let's start the podcast. Okay, let's start the podcast. Hey, yo, hang on a second. The Patreon episode. Go. I've seen a lot of bags fumbled in my day. I've never seen anything like what the Democrats have done in the last nine months. Between Biden fucking up Afghanistan, AOC going to the Met Gala.

Don't do that. Don't be saying that. Don't do that. Don't say it like that. Don't do that. It's not a fucking Indian word. That's how they say it. Afghanistan. No, it like that. Don't say it like that. Don't do that. It's not a fucking Indian word. Yeah. That's how they say it.

Afghanistan. No, it's not. They don't call it Afghanistan. They call it whatever the fuck their country's called. Gobble, how do they say it? Afghanistan. No, they don't. Yeah, they do.

They have their own name for their country. What do they call it? We call ourselves the United States of America, right? Yeah. South Korea probably calls it, they don't call it, right? What do you think we call the United States of America everywhere else say again what do you think

they call the US what do you call India is it India yeah no what do you call it in fucking Hindi it's India no it's not

yeah dude in France it was a term before no before it was Bharat Hindustan it's Hindustan before it was Bharat but now they just

call it India no no they're using the American version they have their own name for the Nippon is Japan do you not know that other countries aren't named in English are you just finding that out Bharat. But now they just call it India. They're using the American version. They have their own name. Nippon is Japan. Do you not know that other countries aren't named in English?

Do you think in Afghanistan they don't call themselves Afghanistan? This is good. Do you really think all countries are named in English? You really believe every country is English named? I'm saying what they call it now. I told you what India's first name was, but now they call it... They don't run around saying, I'm saying what they call it now. I told you what India's first name was, but now they call it, they don't

running around, they don't run around saying, oh, I'm the Prime Minister of Bharat. No, Modi is the Prime Minister of India. That's what it is. So we just bodied y'all out of your own name? Bodied the world, bro. So we bodied y'all out of your own name? The English bodied the world, bro. Not the whole world, that's just y'all. Nippon is in Japan, they still call it Nippon. What, the whole country? Yes.

Japanese people say they're Nipponese. You think Japanese are Japanese? Japan. No. They say the shit all in Japanese because they have their own word for it. Matter of fact, there's a lot of countries that refuse to use American words, and they start creating their own words for it. What a bunch of losers. They won't say computer.

They'll say, like, in Norway, I think they have their, like... Oh, wow, Norway. Way to rebel, Norway. At least they got their own name. Fucking Norway. You guys are just using the English one. Who cares? You're getting body, bro. You're insignificant. You, Norway. At least they got their own name. Fucking Norway, dude. You guys are just using the English one. Who cares, dude? It's Norway, bro.

You're insignificant. You're Norway. Scotland won. Scotland won, dog. Scotland won, bro. Well, you don't know because you don't have the freedom yet to choose whether or not you have your own name. Yeah, you guys have the freedom to be fucking sunned by us.

Yeah, yeah. Kiss you on your forehead. Hey, we just do what's convenient. We make life easy for everybody. You do. You do convenient things. We're the best. You can't help it. Convenient is your thing. Hey, we just do what's convenient. We make life easy for everybody. You do convenient things. We're the best. I can't help it.

Convenient is your thing. It's our business. It's our business. It's our business being convenient. No, but be honest. Just acknowledge you are aware that countries have their own names for themselves.

But I'm sure they are. It's not fair, not. Yeah, no. I acknowledge that, but people there still probably call Afghanistan. When you count, do you count one, two, three, four, five,

or do you have your own words for the numbers? Yeah, but sometimes they'll just use the English numbers. Yes or no? Yes, and sometimes they'll just use the English numbers. And you also have your own country. And are you saying that nobody in Afghanistan calls it Afghanistan? They never use that? No, we used to call it Afghanistan when we were there a lot.

What? What is France? How do you say France? France. France. France. But French people call America Etats-Unis. United States.

Londres is London in Spanish. Everybody has their own thing. It's very normal. So you guys are doing the abnormal thing, which is just bending over. No. Yeah. No.

Also, the guy said gobble multiple times. Was it gobble always? Because we call it gobble. Is it always gobble, or do you think they just adopted the American way to say it? No, it's always? Because we call it gobble. Is it always gobble? Or do you think they just adopted the American way to say it? No, it's always been. We call it rubble.

We don't call it gobble. It's pronounced rubble. It's pronounced rubble for us. But I'm just saying, Afghanistan, you're actually not. I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to do tortilla. You're trying to do the thing where you pronounce the thing right. You're not even saying the right word to pronounce right. Do you know what afghans call afghanistan yes what do they call it

i'm not gonna say it because you're forcing me into saying something racist i would never you're forcing i almost fell for it i almost fell for it you threw me an alley-oop and it was a racism alley-oop but if you were to fall for what would you say listen you're asking me you're asking me to go too far and I'm not gonna do it I'm not gonna do it I'm not gonna do it just say the right name

just say the right name I'm actually looking it up I can't figure it out so I literally it's like they call it Pashtuns we're like the Pashtuni people

that live there Afghanistan doesn't exist it's a bunch of tribal lands and they all identify as their own thing so the Pashtun people they'd be like oh this is our shit over here and i'm sure the taliban well i guess the taliban is a little bit different because they're kandahar the ghazni but yeah they all have their own region

and the region is what we could call case right now case's mom is an actual afghan refugee call case okay the fuck would she know? She left, bro. She left. She doesn't remember. Yeah. They probably asked her, like, hey, if you want to stay, you got to say the name of this shit.

She's like, I don't know. Delta. Delta. Delta. Get me out of here. Let's see if it picks up. Let's go. Yeah, the thing I see here

is Pashtuns. Motherfuck, dude. Pashtun. Hey, isn't fucking Bala Afghani? No, it's Pakistani. It's Afghanistan since the time of...

No, the fucking Russians named it that shit. Turkistan, Afghanistan, Aministan. I'm telling you, they call it Pashtuns. Pashtun. Yeah. But those are the people. No, they also call it that.

Afghans are Pashtuns. That you can pronounce with the accent. Pashtun. But you're basically with the accent. Pashtun. Pashtun. But you're basically saying this. United States of America. America. America.

America. Yes, you are. America. That actually sounds cooler. It sounds like a spice. Yeah, I like that. Paprika. America.

America. I'm going to text him. This motherfucker. Isn't that crazy? America got named after that one guy that didn't do shit. Yeah, Marigo. Marigo Vespucci. Vespucci.

Did nothing. I mean, he did fucking find it. that didn't do shit. Yeah, Marigo. Marigo Vespucci. Vespucci. Did nothing. I mean, he did fucking find it. No, he didn't. Yeah, he did. Someone else probably found it. But he found it the sickest. You know what I mean? You sure that shit Rogan posted?

Yo, what was that about? Yeah, it just said that there was people here before. Also, can we acknowledge how our guys just want to suck the fun out of that fucking thing? He's still texting right now on the podcast. We just want to make fun of you all caps call me we just want to make stop being a rhinoceros guy just try to have fun

dude just have fun it's not a big deal stop being the rhinoceros guy whoever what fucking tool that guy was what do you pronounce rhinoceros how do you pronounce it oh wow what guys everybody you don't think there's at least one click in it over there you don't think they call a mean get a mean on the phone right now seriously can we get it say the true name of afghanistan

dude do you didn't know that amin actually had a fucking uh what are they called a rhinoceros uh tusk tusk yeah tusk he had a tusk and he traded that uh for to get his hair back yeah no that's what he used as payment to get his hair back 100 that's a fact wow yeah shout out to amin dude amin al-hasan the fucking greatest rhino rider in history doug you gotta go to a rhino rodeo, man. They're unbelievable. Really? What? Unbelievable.

How many seconds are they still on? No, because you get bucked. You just get fucking split open, dude. One time. That rhino test goes through you. Not a game, bro. Not a game. What are we talking about?

He was talking about Afghanistan. You were talking about Afghanistan. Go, go. Tell us about Afghanistan. Okay, so they fucked up. Who's they? Who's they? Biden. Oh. Fucked up. Leaving Afghanistan. Afghanistan. Go, go. Tell us about Afghanistan. Okay, so they fucked up. Who's there? Who's there? Biden.

Fucked up. Leaving Afghanistan. Afghanistan. AOC goes to the Met Gala, pretends it's like a righteous thing. It's A-O-C. A-O-C. A-O-C. Alessandra, yeah.

And then the Cuomo brothers, both sexually harassing everybody. Cuomo. Cuomo. The Cuomo brothers. Sexually harassing everybody Cuomo sexually harassing everybody you had the entire world on your side in January and then slowly everybody's just like

I'm done with these guys just fumbled the bag it was locked up you had eight years that's how administrations work though right yeah but it's also I think how like what's it called ideology works especially like liberal ideology It's the right idea. Everybody should have rights.

Let's let everybody in. No more school debt. They say the things that make sense on the surface. And you're a monster if you don't agree with them. You're like, shouldn't we invest all this money in these communities so they can have a better life? Yeah, of course. Shouldn't rich people get taxed way more

so that we can help out the people who are less yeah yeah let's help everybody and then you actually try to see it happen and you also see those same people become complete hypocrites and you're like oh rules for thee not for me yeah i see what it is so it looks like the fucking shutting down all the wineries and leaving his open exactly yes i talked to people who legit said they had Bernie fundraisers in California, and then they said after this whole, like, the way Newsom handled everything and the mass shit. Is that what those fires were about?

Oh, Bernie fundraiser, not burning fundraiser. Oh, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad. They said I'll never vote the Democratic end of my life. They were so done with it. Really? Yeah. I'm telling you, people are fed up. What are they going to vote, Republican?

I think so yeah they moved to florida and then you know what they call a republican what's that republican a rhino oh that's a good point just saying just saying but republicans are rhinos the back is they weigh the same wait a minute what is a rhino that's a republican in name only so they would call mitt romney a rhino so he's not really so he's a republican on the ticket but he has all these democrats wouldn't misspell rhino fucking idiots and then dino's the opposite is a democrat in name. So like Kristen Sinema. Biden. Maybe.

I mean, I guess if you look at it like on a neoliberal perspective. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I need to tell you all about gamer subs. First of all, I got a waifu right here. Maybe it's called waifu. I don't know exactly how the fuck to pronounce it. Waifu. But I know there's big old anime titties on the front and a fat anime dumper on the back. And if you have the fruit punch flavor of the gamer subs in there, them titties turn red. Red titties kind of fire when you think about it.

That's what they should put on that Washington football team helmet. Anyway, guys, waifu is the truth, okay? And you can get these at that GamerSubs website, but you can also get an amazing, an absolutely amazing energy powder that you can mix with your water and have an energy beverage so you can be playing video games all night. You could be working all fucking day.

You could use it for whatever you need to use it for. GamerSubs is not playing around, okay? These these things right here they're always sold the fuck out they go for like 200 400 on the internet on ebay bro you can sell them waifus for a lot of money you could they're motherfuckers jerking off and filling this thing up with sperm that's a fact exactly you got to fill one up then you get a new one okay it's like a piggy bank only with a lot it's a literally it is a sperm bank there you go 100 and then the hole is wide enough to get it there's there's perfect this is perfect this is perfect point is get yourself a waifu but also get that gamer subs gamer subs keto friendly low carb ketogenic diets okay zero calories in this zero calories okay and no organic caffeine interesting not some fake bullshit filled with everything they also got the nootropics

zero sugar if you're on that no sugar diet like your boy you can't have the sugar this is zero sugar and no fillers okay they have better nutritional values got six of the body's most crucial vitamins and minerals okay and of course you're going to get the electrolytes. This is literally a great energy drink that you get to cook up yourself. You decide how much energy you need by how many of these little scoops of powder you put in. So right now you can go to gamersubs.gg. That's G-A-M-E-R-S-U-P-P-S.gg and use the code flagrant at checkout for 10% off your your order remember that's gamersubs.gg g-a-m-e-r-s-u-p-p-s.g-g go there get it now let's get back to the show all right and we're back everybody everybody needs to chill out calm down dude this is a political podcast and we need to

stop pretending political journalists and yeah we need to stop pretending we're comedians I don't know where we ended or came out on this we're coming back somewhere what do you mean where we ended or came out oh no shut up Mark I thought we were done were we not done? we're done

I thought we were done with the last topic we were talking about that I completely forgot what it was yes we are definitely that definitely what was it what was it we were talking about i don't think you forgot i honestly don't remember the last afghanistan was something we were talking about before it's fucking afghanistan this guy over here yeah yeah johnny say it correctly could be it could not be you know what i mean so creative i'm fucking super creative dude. Johnny said it correctly. You know what I mean? So creative. I'm fucking super creative, dude. Johnny said it correctly.

Okay. Let's talk about this. Let's talk about my main man, Chris Pratt. Yeah. The fucking legend. I love this guy. OG. I love this guy.

I actually do love Chris Pratt. He's great. Guardians of the Galaxy, great. Jurassic World, great. Hilarious actor. Great. Funny. Like literally hilarious, funny actor. guy i actually do love chris pratt he's great guardians of the galaxy great jurassic world great hilarious actor great funny like literally hilarious funny actor fucking body he is a body he uh is not allowing hollywood to just bully him into being one of these fucking hollywood clones yep like the dude is religious and he's like i'm gonna be religious yep and also hollywood only makes you do that if you're like into white religion do you know what i mean like if you're like like hollywood has never

said denzel cut it out with the religious stuff in all your movies every denzel movie book of eli's about how the bible could save the world every denzel movie he makes sure he puts it in because it's important to him he believes in it that's his life is that a thing he does 100 i did not know that and you'll know it'll be like a little thing believes in it. That's his life. Is that a thing he does? 100%. I did not know that. 100%. And you'll know, it'll be like a little thing, or it'll be the driving force of the whole movie. Man on fire,

was he always reading the Bible? Is that a thing? Training day? Oh, he had a cross, I guess? Yeah, Jesus piece, bro. Oh yeah, that was fire. But like, but yeah, I don't know.

But I'm just, it is interesting though. Like, like I doubt that Hollywood would make you go, hey, listen, I know there's some fucked up stuff. They would want just, it is interesting though. Like, like I, I doubt that Hollywood would make you go, Hey, listen, I know there's some fucked up.

They would want me to parade it out there. Yeah. It'd be even better. Hindu is possible. Exactly. Yeah. Islam denounce Christianity. We need to promote.

But the, it's so funny. And they call him out for things that his religion is against that all the other religions are against, but they would never call them out for yeah right they've never called out a muslim actor yep right for the fact that their religion uh doesn't like gay cakes yeah right yeah he's referring to the gay cake story that people would go to like um muslim bakers and be like hey will you make this cake and they'd be like no well do

they even make cakes like do does like Does Islam have a lot of cakes? Is that like a birthday cake country? Honey cake. But do you make a gay honey cake? For a Muslim wedding, would you have cake or would you have some type of other dessert? That's a good question. I don't know if you have cake.

Do they have a four-tiered cake? I don't know if it's four-tiered. The Muslims I know have bean pies. It's Twin Towers. They're big on pastries. Deep cut. What did you say? They have bean pies.

They have bean pies. Oh, gosh. Wait a minute. Hold on one second. Bean pie is the clit that they make? Or is it an actual bean pie? Actual bean pie. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

I thought the bean pie was like a Korean, like a red bean paste. No, no, that's a black Muslim thing. No, but Koreans also have red bean as a flavor. Oh, they do. They do red bean desserts, yeah. I think Japan or the Japanese do it as well. We love those. Yeah.

So this is what they call the traditional Muslim wedding. I'm not allowed to read that. Say it out. A nikah ceremony. A nikah. N-I-K-A-H. Yeah, but isn't the name of the outfit that the women wear called a... A nakib.

Nakib. Yeah. Okay. So maybe that's nothing to do with it. Yeah nothing so they just drop an m-bombs all over the way they say it's like a real strong k so it's even more really like i wouldn't say it unless i'm around indians so they know i'm not well have you heard that word before yeah oh really yeah i forgot until he said it and then i was like oh yeah you guys say it in hindu shabby we just say wedding but how okay but how would you pronounce it because

you care so much about pronunciation of things like shabby no no their version oh i won't do it around y'all no no no no be honest you won't do it around al oh yeah yeah i would feel weird doing it around you guys too because it'd make me sound crazy that's crazy but it looks like yeah they got a regular cake and they call it that word. Bro, there's a Japanese whiskey called NIKKA whiskey. Oh, yeah. And it's super popular.

Yeah. And I was ordinary. Ah. I'm asking for highballs. A highball is a whiskey and soda with a lime, right? And I'm out there in Japan asking for highballs.

They're like, do you have a choice of whiskey? Do I? But yeah, I don't think white... I got 10 days. White bakers shouldn't be allowed to make this cake. White bakers are not allowed to make that cake. Yeah. And if a black couple comes and says, hey, I need you to make this

Muslim cake, I'd say, can't do it. What do you call a black baker? What do you call him? A baker, you racist. Bro, you guys are fucking racist, dude. That's crazy. You guys are fucking racist, bro.

Duff. Wait, why is Duff's sign? Duff is so fucking racist. A black baker can't be called a baker too? I know, Duff. Jesus.

Wow, Duff. Why is that? Why are you on this? Yeah, like you're rolling your fucking eyes. Like black people can't bake shit. Yeah.

You blacked out? You what? You wanted out? You what? You wanted out? That's racist. Boy, I'm out. There you go.

You marocked out for a second, dude. That's what it is. Okay, just chill the fuck out. Okay? Goodness gracious. So Chris Pratt can't play Mario because he's not Italian? Well, now they're getting upset. Mario.

All right, go ahead. Okay. First of all, we don't know if the Mario Brothers were Italian. No, they're not. Did they ever sexually harass Princess Peach? I don't think so. Actually. They're not really Italians.

We don't even know if she'd want to be saved. Why do you think she was running? She's happily married. You know what I mean? She's happily married in a castle. I'm with Bowser. I'm with Bowser. Let me chill.

Holy shit. If they grab Princess Peach's ass without her consent, said, you're not my boss anymore. I can do this now. Yeah. Why do you think they called her Peach? Her name was Diane. You know what I mean?

They were like, oh, look at this little peach over here. They're just sexually harassing. We don't know if it's sexual, but they're harassing this woman. They're harassing this woman. We have to acknowledge that it is harassment. They're plumbers. I don't know a ton of plumbers, but I don't know if they're the most socially conscious.

I was created by two Japanese guys. Oh, so that's their idea of Italians? What were they drinking, huh? That's what they think Italians are? Just a bunch of fucking plumbers sexually harassing women? Who the fuck do they think they are? Wow. It's exceptional game developers that stood the test of time.

Did they do the voice? Did they do the Italian accent, the Japanese guys it's a me mario yeah yeah that's pretty offensive yeah dude and what if we just did their voice what if we did the voice of toadstool who's obviously japanese i mean y'all thought he was too Keep it a buck right Toto's Japanese Is he not And so are the little bad guys Everybody was Japanese in that game Except the people that weren't

Mike Racine had a funny joke He said Amaro's not being played by whatever And then Yoshi's not even being played by a Jew Why Yoshi had the fucking That was just That was browning out right now Yeah

You okay there now? Yeah I'm good Okay Oh juice jokes? Go with it Is that okay? I'm always okay Go yeah

I never saw Yoshi as a Jew Because like He's like helping You know He's just helping the whole time He's like Hey Mario How can I help you

he's a dino democrat in name only okay obviously Italians are going to want an Italian but which Italian do you want to play Mario fucking De Niro who's the Italian that gets to play Mario who's the Italian

Pacino yeah there's nobody left what young Italian actor is going to play Mario. Who's the Italian? Pacino. Yeah, there's nobody left. Yeah, like what young Italian actor is going to play it? Sebastian. Sebastian. Sebastian would kill it. Woody. Sebastian would kill it. Scorsese. Woody. Martin Scorsese. Jumping up. That's a fucking Sebastian. Sebastian can do like the, when he has all the patches

on the body. You know when they're doing 2K? To get all the moves down. I want Matteo Lane to play Mario. Oh, that's Luigi. Sebastian's playing Spike. Don't know who that is. Wait, he's actually in the movie? Yeah. Jack Black is

playing Bowser. I'm going to be in this movie. I believe it. I'm going to be Waluigi. I'm putting this out right now. I'm going to be Waluigi and the internet is. I'm putting this out right now. I'm going to be Waluigi, and the internet's going to go crazy. Yeah. Because the internet casted me. The internet put this out there in the world.

People's choice award, right? Me, Mario. It's a me, Mario. I say Mario Brothers. Yeah, it's Mario. No, I say Mario Brothers. No, it depends. Which one I say?

Because they make fun of me. It's Mario Kart or Mario Brothers. I say Mario Brothers, Mario Kart. Why is it different? Because it's two different games. It's Mario Kart or Mario Brothers. I say Mario Brothers, Mario Kart. Why is it different? Because it's two different games. It's the same guy. Nah. Yeah, it's Chris Pratt and both of them.

No, one's walking, the other one's driving. Different game. Hold on. They're making a Mario Kart movie with Chris Pratt as a Mario? Nah, see, that's offensive. That's crazy. I'm not on board with that. That's crazy.

Why not? He can't drive. Dude, you can just look at him. It's got to be Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel's got to be Mario. Also, nobody uses Mario in his own game. No, never. Never use Mario.

The new one I use, Zelda. He's fired with that. Mark? It's Link. Come on, Mark. The Zelda character. I'm going to say Zelda character. He doesn't even know anything about video games.

I know. Never made that mistake before in a joke. This guy doesn't even know anything about video games. I know. Never made that mistake before in a joke. What joke was that? The forest. The national park.

I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like Zelda. Everybody in the comments. Oh. Oh, shit. Mario was a real dude. Mario was the landlord of the Nintendo office. Oh.

We should make a video. You didn't know this? I'm just surprised it wasn't a... I didn't know this, bro. I'm just surprised it wasn't a Hasidic Jew that barged in there. That's what I'm saying. We should make that video game about our landlord. Yeah.

That'd be super fun. That's it, boy. Huh? Here we go. It's a me, Ishmael. It's so fun. Anyway, point is, love Chris Pratt. I support the fuck out of him for Mario.

Italians, calm it down. Italians are like the UFC fans of ethnic groups. Like, they act all tough. We got the mafia. But at the end of the day, they're just always complaining about some shit. Whoa. Yo, Akash wants beef, bro. Yeah, I got no problem.

With the Italianas? Yeah, go ahead, dude. Wow. You're babies. You're fucking babies. Nah, I went to an Italian restaurant yesterday. I had a great time. I won't let you speak that way.

Get my arm in there. That is. That guy. That guy. Stop crying. Yo, great time. I won't let you speak that way. Get my arm in there. That guy. Stop crying. Yo, great food. Great culture. You just cry too much. He's walking it back a little bit. I know.

I'm going to compliment you. Rocky's a great movie. You know what I mean? Your food is great. Your culture is great. You're the perfect people. I don't hate UFC. Your fans are cucks. Italians, you're cucks. Stop complaining all the time.

Oh, Christopher Columbus doesn't get the credit. Blah, blah, blah. Nobody cares. You're not a minority. Eh, stop your crying. Belly aching ass group. Wow. They do a lot of belly aching.

Dove. Decide, are you tough and killers or are you cry babies these are the options you can't be fucking mafia culture don culture which we all think is dope and then at the same time cry because mario is a fucking regular white guy wow it's mario it's mario yeah oh well it's mario it's mario mario mario so where we We're in New York. It's Mario. Okay. All right. Okay. Fuck out of here.

What does this look like? A shook? Oh, my God. Did you play Super Smash Bros? Were you one of those guys? A little. Were you one of those guys? What do you mean by that?

He played Smash. That's a subculture. A little. I remember when it started popping out. It was fun. No skill. Requires no skill. Yeah.

I don't like games with no skill. You didn't think Princess Peach ever went for the finish in Super Smash Bros.? Oh, I finished on her a few times. Dude, Princess Peach? That's why she's not a star. That's why she'll never be a star. Smash Bros. Real talk, man.

This movie is going to be exceptional. Real talk, man. This movie is going to be exceptional. Let me tell you. Could it be better? Keegan-Michael Key as Toad. He could be great. Yes.

He's great. Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong. Love it. That's good. Solid. Just solid.'s good. Solid. Just solid. Solid casting. Solid. Chris Pratt as Mario.

Chris Pratt is one of the best actors alive. Charlie Day as Luigi. Who's that? He's funny. Always sunny in Philadelphia. Charlie. Short guy. Yeah.

Can't do it. Luigi is defined by his height. Well, he's just taller than Mario. It's all relative, right? We don't know if Luigi's objectively tall. Charlie Day is shorter than Chris Pratt. Yes, I'm doing the research. I can't see it. I'm sorry, Charlie.

I love you. Charlie Day's 5'7". He should be towed. He should be towed. Jack Black is Bowser. Excellent. Chris Pratt's 6'2". No, no, no. That's an issue. That's an issue. It is an issue. It is a problem. But this is a problem. Isn't this an animated movie

they're just doing the voices for? Yeah. It's a microphone thing. That changes it. That does actually change it. I thought it was live action. No. It's an animated movie.

He's going to talk short. Sometimes people talk short. What did you try to say? So they're upset the voice isn't a giant? I didn't call you short. Hey, hey, hey. You talk the height of your lips.

You adjust your voice. I'm talking tall today, boy. Shit. No. Wait, so they're upset that a fictitious character isn't the right group in his voiceover? Not fictitious. Not fictitious. Not fictitious.

Oh, what's he based on? The landlord. Based on the fucking cleaning, man. They don't know what the landlord was. Yeah, he was Italian. They could have made him Italian. How do you know? He's Italian.

Just saying it. You don't know what they call Italians in Japanese? Oh, gosh. I know what they call them in Japanese. What? Wapa. That's what Mario says every time he does that. Woo-hoo!

Woo-hoo! All right, guys. Let's start the pot. Let's start the pot that Woo Woo Alright guys Let's start the pot Let's start the pot What happened Let's start the pot Whoa What happened to Jon Jones Why did he get arrested

Domestic violence misdemeanor Again But Nothing else As far as I know So maybe he Thought like me And you can't really

Low blow a female No That was in Vegas With a cocktail waitress But domestic Put on a choke hold and slapped her vagina. Whoa. That's the allegation from before

some cocktail waitress. That shit's crazy, bro. Cocktail? That's nuts. Damn, Jon Jones thought he was Italian. Motherfucker thought he was Italian? That's crazy, bro. Come on, Jon. Wild. Act your John. Wild. Wild. Act your race.

Okay? Okay. You know this is wild. Act. He has to act it. This is wild. That's for Italians to do. Okay?

What are you doing bro? This guy's fucking nuts. I blame you. What did I do? I blame you. You started this. Holy shit. I didn't start nothing.

I've never done anything wrong. Seriously guys. I blame you. What did I do? Nah actually. Let's start it over from the beginning. I blame the start nothing. I've never done anything wrong. Seriously, guys. What did I do? Let's start it over from the beginning. Let's start it over from the beginning. I also blame Sugar. He had fun this morning. I did not. You had one full cookie last night. South Korea proposes banning

dog meat. Ban. Guys, we tried. Guys, this has been flagrant too. Yeah, we really tried. We went full flagrancy today. Because we appreciate y'all, we love y'all, and we're drinking tequila to Kiwi.

Tequila, Kiwi. We're drinking waifus. R.I.P. Brian Laundrie Or R.I.P. Did they find him? No No bro

They say he's adept at survival in the woods And it's said until proven guilty There you go I got it I got it We got him We got him Al It's okay

You can go do that WTF promo And fuck everything up. In conclusion, do you guys have anything to say in conclusion? No, I've concluded everything. Yeah, I've said everything that I need to say. A little too much. I've said more than I probably should have. I apologize.

I just wanted to say sorry in advance. Long live the flagrancy, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the asshole army. You'll hear more of this and see more of this Friday at patreon.com slash flagrant2, where we'll only get better and for some of you worse. But it will be more. There will be blood.

Patreon.com slash flagrant2. For some of you worse, but it will be more. There will be blood. Patreon.com slash flagrant2. Peace. Or as our Japanese friends would say. No, end it here. Already ended. Cut it off.