Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Joins Women's Swim Team

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf #Flagrant2 #AndrewSchulz #AkaashSingh New York native and internationally touring stand-up, Andrew Schulz is known for his hilarious and unsafe comedy. He has starred in the sitcom BENDERS (now available on Netflix), can be seen in Amazon’s SNEAKY PETE, HBO’s CRASHING, and on MTV including GUY CODE and GIRL CODE. In the podcast realm, Schulz can be heard on the wildly popular THE BRILLIANT IDIOTS — co-hosted by nationally syndicated radio and television personality Charlamagne tha God — the hilarious sports commentary podcast FLAGRANT 2, and the film and TV analysis podcast WESTERBROS. He has made major appearances on The Joe Rogan Experience, Bert Kreischer’s BERTCAST, Joey “coco” Diaz The Chuch of What’s Happening Now, and Theo Von’s This Past Weekend. He has even done solo interviews with the likes of Lil Duval and many others. Andrew’s online presence has touched hundreds of millions of people across the globe and his unconventionally funny approach to the comedy world has launched him into stardome. His shows Dropping In and Inside Jokes will rack of hundreds of thousands of views weekly. Nothing is off limits for Schulz, from sex to race, and even the occasional audience heckler roast, Andrew is hungry to be the best. He can be seen in New York City performing regularly at New York Comedy Club and the Comedy Cellar.

what's up everybody i have an announcement to make i andrew schultz am joining the u.s women's national swim team uh officially today i am announcing that i am able to compete thank you guys very much for your support uh you don't seem very supportive mark which is bigoted and yeah well why do you say you're able to compete what do you mean why but why wouldn't i be able to compete you're saying joining the u.s women's national swim team mind you i i didn't even tell you why i'm raising money for ukraine more than what you've probably done chilling on the fucking beach in mexico would you raise any money for ukraine he's going to use his winnings to support war-torn country what are you gonna do yeah you haven't won anything well i'm gonna win obviously i'm a guy i'm racing against women okay once i start i'll immediately

start winning and then i'll take all that money because i'm not gonna obviously take all that money i'm gonna you know give it to myself here i'm gonna take over i'm gonna give it back to the war effort in ukraine obviously the ukrainian side yes i need to be specific with fucking you okay and then um obviously other groups that need my help stop asian hate that's another one that i'm going to donate to yo you are you are me too if that's still around i don't know if that's still around but i'm going to donate to that you know what black lives matter also al okay i got that any group that needs any money that i make as part of the u.s women's national swim team okay i'm donating back to causes this is so brave this is so brave thank you thank you at least you support why are

you wearing this what is this outfit this is what you swimming that's not yeah no that's not what swimmers don't why are you pushing fucking sick of of cishet white males deciding what women should and shouldn't pushing their heteronormative ideals you don't get to say what women should and shouldn't wear. Pushing their heteronormative ideals. You don't get to say what women swim in, Mark. No, I'm not saying what women should swim in. I'm saying that's not what they wear for the Olympics. Stop saying what we have to wear. It's you.

It's your fault that women are dressed in these fucking bikinis playing volleyball when they don't need to be dressed like that. You probably jerk off to those videos of women doing Olympic sports. No, I don't jerk off to those videos of women doing olympic sports okay no i don't jerk yeah you probably do you're one of those sick idiots those people are sick they're fucking sick these are women competing and they're not there for you to objectify them and just jerk off yeah okay appreciate more than their bodies mark okay yeah we're out here we're

competing okay and we're trying to raise money for the war effort in ukraine what are you doing probably trying to get booked at that bunker show piece of shit selfish but you haven't lowered like your testosterone levels at all how do you know that look at you when you yeah look at me it's right when you look at my face what does my facial hair say to you that i have tons of testosterone yeah huh look at my facial hair i look like a korean grandmother okay you think i'm full of testosterone you don't know if i already started my treatment i got fucking fat tats okay look at my titties filling this thing you actually are filling out pretty good you are filling out pretty good yeah i'm filling out are you are you in birth control i don't know weekend at bernie's yeah okay i don't know. How am I weak at a Bernie? Nah, you're weak at a Bernie.

Okay. Which guy? Bernie, motherfucker! Bro, he wore black glasses. I'm not even wearing those. Hold on. I'm wearing uncut jumps. Did I take my glasses off?

Okay. I can't see shit in this. Women can't see for shit, dude. The second I transitioned to a woman, my vision is like 40-40, dude. Is this how you fuck rich guys? And your communication skills Your communication skills Got really bad too

Yeah real talk Yeah you guys wanna hear a story? So Buckle up No but to compete For the women's Olympic team You have to lower Your testosterone levels

Over two years To get within a specific range He's on the way He's been doing it two years ago When have you ever seen him With a mustache? Technically I've been doing it For three years

I've been with my girl For three years And that's been with my girl for three years. Yes. And that's been lowering my testosterone. He's going on dessert every Monday. What do you think these things are? I try to suck on them every time I'm in the shower. What?

Now I've never sucked your tits in the shower? Man's been castrated for three years. Thank you. This is a transphobic thing. You're the transphobic. You're the transphobic. This is a transphobic There's people that's assuming I'm trans no You're assuming I'm trans. Yes, you are. I just said I said it's transphobic if you're gonna be like, oh

Define what hate is I fucking hate white people. I hate white men. White men. White men. Cis-het white men must die. What does that mean? Stop. Stop talking. Yes. Okay? Haven't you talked enough?

Haven't you? I'm just saying people are saying... You don't understand my life. No, it sounds like you're trying to just get into women's sports. Oh, why don't you tell us what we're saying? You're trying to get into women's sports as a man. I could be brown. I could be blue.

I could be violet sky. I could be hurtful. I could be purple. I could be anything I want. That's not the lyrics. Including a U.S. Women's National Team swimmer, Mark. You have to be on testosterone as a presence for two years to go within a range. I don't have testosterone.

What are you talking about? I don't have testosterone. Lift your arm up. What is that? Wow. I supported my wife running the marathon. Okay. That's true.

She's got all the tea. She's got all the tea. You ain't talking about gossip. No, we're not. Okay. We're not, but we are pretty damn good at gossiping, too. I just want to let you know. Okay?

This is my choice. This is my life. This is not what they wear. It sounds like you think that if you just joined a women's team, you could join the Olympic team. I could do that. Which, first off, I don't think is possible. Yes, it is. And secondly, a man can't just join it and pretend to be trans.

You have to actually go through the process of becoming trans. What is it, pretend to be trans? These are your things you're putting on people. I'm fluid, Mark. I didn't say it was one thing or another. Why does life have to be a binary to fucking c things you're putting on people. I'm fluid, Mark. I didn't say it was one thing or another. Why does life have to be a binary to fucking cishet white males? I'm fluid. I'm gender fluid.

I'm fluid. Like, you don't know. If you catch me in the right day, I might be male. You catch me in the right day, I might be female. That's fine. But in order to compete. That's why you can be such a great swimmer. But in order to compete, you got to be on testosterone suppressant.

Yeah, I am suppressing my testosterone. No, you're not. Look at the way I'm sitting. I got it all. No. I got it tucked. Like throughant. Yeah, I am suppressing my testosterone. No, you're not. Look at the way I'm sitting. I got it all. I got it tucked. Like through pills. I got it tucked. Like through medication.

No, you tuck your dick. I tuck my dick seven hours a day. HRT. I tuck my dick seven hours a day. That has nothing to do with it. I sit on my testicles so it doesn't produce more sperm. Dickhead. That's not how it works.

Yes, it does. Dude, you don't know. Try to say one thing that I'm not doing. You're not on HRT. You're not on the that I'm not doing. You're not on HRT. You're not on hormone replacement therapy. Okay. I am. Yeah.

Doing that. Just because you say it doesn't mean you're doing it. Why am I not doing that? You don't know that I'm not doing that? No. How can you tell? It seems like you saw Leah Thomas win the NCAA championship, and you're like, oh, because she was assigned male at birth and went through male puberty and is now a woman that, oh, you can just sign up and do it, which is not the case.

Why is that not the case? Because you have to. Why am I not inspired by her story? Why can I not be inspired? Why do we not give her a 30 for 30? I didn't say you weren't inspired. I'm saying for the NCAA, you have to go through a year of hormone suppressant. Yeah, I didn't say I'm going to do it this season.

By the time that I'm able to swim with these broads, it will be a year. Okay? And then we're going to get to swimming. No, that's not... This man plays by the rules. I play by the rules. It's not how it works. 100% is what... And to be honest, I think I'm at a disadvantage dragging this big old dick in the pool. Dragging this anchor. You know what I'm saying?

Swimming 200 meter crawl stroke with this anchor just dragging on the bottom of the pool Hell yeah And these girls Using their pussy muscles To just queef Their way through

Like they're squids? Yeah No they're sea dudes Okay They're like a jet ski Dude G.J. Callen Should ride on one of those

For real No that's not how it works Yes it is how it works No Are you sure? Yes So you're saying I put all this on,

and I can't even do the thing that I actually want to do that I was inspired to do? I mean, you can swim if you want to. First off, you can't compete, and secondly, if you competed, you wouldn't get close to the top 10. No, that might be true, but I think you can compete. Well, it depends which stroke, dude.

Obviously, the breaststroke. What? What about it? How about the long stroke? My man's long stroke, though. Oh, dude, backstroke? That's not it. You think some girl's going to beat me at the breaststroke. What? What about it? How about the long stroke? My man's long stroke, though. Oh, dude, backstroke? You think some girl's going to beat me at the backstroke, bro? Probably.

There's no way, dude. Katie Ledecky probably could beat you. Who? Katie Ledecky. Katie Ledecky? Yeah. She's a professional, Mark. She's retired.

Yeah, that's what you said you're trying to do. You're trying to become a professional swimmer. No, U.S. Women's National Team. How are you going to raise money? I'm going to win. But that would make you professional. Now he can make money off his likeness. Duh, U.S. Women's National Team. How are you going to raise money? I'm going to win. But that would make you professional. Now he can make money off his likeness. Duh, dummy.

Women don't do professional sports. I'm doing whatever women do, and then they must get paid for it. Okay. Okay? So I'm going to start swimming. As of the next season, the next swimming season, I will be swimming for the Ivy League school of my choice. Okay. And that's it, dude. Okay. season the next swimming season i will be swimming for the ivy league school of my choice okay and um

that's it dude okay it's like we don't have to think about it too much we don't have to like poke and prod and like we don't have to use me as some fucking uh you know uh what is it uh these conservative assholes like always using me not some puppet yeah as a puppet for their ideology yeah not at all do you know what I mean when have you ever cared about women's sports say again can you not be inspired

Mark I don't understand why he can't be inspired you don't like women's sports all of a sudden all of a sudden Leah Thomas is swimming all of a sudden

you care about women's sports I do like women's sports you said that they're stupid no that's not true that's not true that is true that's not it just depends which sport

there are women's sports I fucking love what's your favorite women's sport? Double penetration. Okay, that's not a sport. You don't think that's a sport, dude? That's a fucking sport. That's harder than swimming, dude.

You don't think they got to hold their breath a little too? Come on, man. Come on. It definitely takes athleticism. Without a doubt, it takes athleticism. Pornography takes athleticism. And it's fucking cishet white males. What does that mean?

You don't even know what that means. Cis stands for sister. Cis stands for sister. Het stands for whatever het is. Cishet. What is het? Heterosexual. Come on, dude. What? what yeah that's what it stands for

cisgendered heterosexual man white man is what you said oh i thought sis was sis no yeah like okay sis like yeah yeah yeah okay fine cis gendered yes heterosexual yeah white men that's what you've kept on saying yeah yeah that is you i don't know how you put up that's also you that's also you i don't know how you put up with these you're not trans oh let's have a debate you want to be no that's what white people have to do all the time oh you want to pay oh why don't we debate right like change my mind hey hey hey i can't be a female swimmer for the u.s national team change my mind let's debate why do white males always need a debate let me be me and let me beat these bitches bro what don't call them i can call us whatever we want yeah i can call

women whatever in that moment I was a woman. He's fluid, bro. What don't you understand about fluidity? I'm not fluid, bro. I'm not fluid. Hey. Hey. He's in the...

He's in the... He's in the... He's in the... What is that song? What is that song? Hey, what is that song? What? The Purgolator?

No, no. He's in the... He's in the... He's in the... Yeah. Hey, what is this song? What? The Percolator? No, no. Knees up and down and I'm gonna touch it. Knees up and down and I'm gonna touch it. Yeah. Right there, I was female.

Okay, that's not how trans works. I was like, make this down. This kind of transphobia is not how trans works. That's not how trans works. Say again? That's not how trans works.

What? You're not actually trans. You're just co-opting trans struggle in order to win money or something. He's using a lot of big words to try-opting trans struggle in order to win money or something. He's using a lot of big words to try to throw you off.

Hey, don't let him fuck with you. That's two words shortened down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See how he's doing that? Isn't that condescending? Isn't that what they do?

They fucking break you down, dude. These white men break you down. They make you feel worthless. They make you feel like nothing. I thought we were going to have an actual conversation about Leah Thomas.

Oh, you don't have a debate? Oh, here. Can't we just talk? have an actual conversation about Leah Thomas. Oh, you don't have a debate. Oh, here. Can we just talk? Can we just talk? Can we just use our free speech and talk? Like,

why can't we just share our opinions? And the best opinion wins. It's a thought dojo. You know what I mean? Like, let's use our martial arts in the thought dojo. All right. Stop trying to tap people out,

dude. Okay. Stop it. Okay. Let me live. All right? Stop trying to tap people out, dude. Okay. Stop it. Okay. Let me live. All right. As myself. Yeah.

You know what I mean? You don't know what it's like to want to suck your own tits all the time. I'm fluid, bro. I'm fluid, bro. You don't know what it's like to want to slap your pussy

when you hear the right song. You don't have a pussy. Knees on the top. Stop. Stop. No. Cover up. I might be fluid, too. I'm have a pussy. Knees on the top. Stop. No. Cover up. I might be fluid too.

I'm getting a little wet when you do that shit. You know what I'm saying? We fluid, bro. We fluid. Knees on the top. You're about to be covered in gender fluid. You keep doing that. No.

All I'm trying to say is. Cover up, please. Let's stop being bigoted. Yes. I agree. Let's stop being small minded. Let's open our minds. I'm just going to say., let's stop being bigoted. Yes, I agree. Let's stop being small-minded. Let's open our minds. Who is a transphobe? It's just kind of doing this, just a little.

Why? I'm inspired. I'm saying keep doing it. I'm the one person on this planet that's like, yo, do your fucking thing. Swim wherever you want to swim. Okay. I agree. That's honestly.

If we're speaking honestly, knees on a tan. What is the line? Get the lyrics up. If we're speaking honestly to one another. What? Now you're singing. I was trying to get it here. Hands on my knees.

Yeah. But if we're speaking honestly, okay, hands on my knees, shaking ass on my tasha. Hands on my knees, shaking ass on my tasha. Hands on my knees, shaking ass on my tasha. Oh man, you're supposed to be a pig

for them to make me a prophet. Oh! Supposed me a pig for them to make me a prophet. What I'm doing right now is inspired by an incredibly brave woman. Someone living their truth.

Someone living their truth. And it's going to inspire all of us to live our truth. We're all fluid. I understand. Nah. Al, you're pretending to be Canadian. Oh, that guy. He's naturally fluid.

You know what I mean? We're all moving. We're all ebbing. We're all flowing. We don't know who we are. Because we just are. You know who knows who they are who leah leah knows she fucking gets it thompson that's not hey maybe her last name is a little fluid you know what i mean that's facts maybe it was thompson she was like i'm taking son she lives her truth yeah respect all i'm trying to Maybe she didn't want to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ain't no Sun here. She lives her truth, dog.

Yeah, respect. All I'm trying to say is we just got to be a little bit more accepting. And stop acting like we give a fuck about women's sports. Can you put your shirt on? Yeah. I think we got to stop acting like we give a fuck about women's sports. Yeah. Because it's a lot of dudes.

A lot of guys doing it. It's real funny how conservatives all of a sudden care about women's sports. Right. And the integrity of it. Yeah, okay. Sure thing, buddy. Be honest. Don't know if I give a fuck. sure thing buddy yeah be honest don't like give a keep it a buck I don't watch it can you name the number two three

four women in swimming no he said Katie Ledecky that's like three Olympics ago yeah three Olympics a record holds the record for what mark do you even know which stroke yes which one is it allen no okay can you can you name the one that she won i think it was 500 freestyle 500 freestyle there isn't a 500 freestyle that's not a real thing it's an increments of 200 no i think it's 500 no that's what she won they stay no they didn't see if you're gonna try to compete you gotta know the strokes you gotta know the swing why does he have to know the strokes because you're gonna compete in it you gotta know right like if you're going to try to compete, you got to know the strokes. You got to know the swings. Why does he have to know the strokes? Because you're going to compete in it. You got to know.

Right? Like, if you're going to try to actually win money for Ukraine. I'm going to single-handedly. Who's going to sponsor you to win money? I don't understand. I don't need sponsorship. How do you win money, then? I win the tournament, and then I take the cash, and I throw it on my own box.

There's a cash prize? Yes, there's a cash prize. You think these girls are swimming for nothing, dude? Why can't women also make money doing sports? That's a good point. Okay? That's a good point, Mark. We're going to fill the fucking stadiums.

Okay. And there's going to be everybody. And their mothers. And their sisters. And their brothers. Are going to be out there. And they're going to watch us. And they're going to support.

Are you going to do any other sports after you're done swimming only fans i think i'll do only fans oh the dp yeah the dp get in there wait what okay put your shirt on all right fine so do you actually want to talk about leah thomas all fine. We can talk about her. Okay. Nice. Okay. I'm so curious what your hair looks like under there. Say again? You think you got waves? Let me see.

Oh, I think you got waves, bro. All I know is that, like, if you put this fucking thing on, you should... Bro. Yeah, you. Oh, now you're choking yourself? Anybody who wears this should be able to compete whenever the fuck they want. This is the most uncomfortable thing ever. There's no way this gives you an advantage.

Yes, it does. There's no way. I mean, if you're bald, you have to... Oh, it actually looks nice. Does it? Yeah, just a little rub down, you're good. Okay, okay. Yeah, there you go.

Do you think that we were wrong? You're not going to be able to compete in the women's uh the women's category why because of my age no no your age actually is not a prohibitor laurel hubbard competed in the in weightlifting in the olympics at like 41 laurel hubbard laurel hubbard yeah oh yeah that's right weightlifter she's like 41 when she did it and she did not win no no this is for New Zealand. Yeah, that's true. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. Okay.

I have to take this off. Okay. Maybe I'll just put this on the top. Okay. Yeah, it'll look cool. Guys, did you guys have a good weekend? I had a great weekend. Did you?

I had a great weekend. Okay. This is the first weekend you were off the road. Oh, God, I know. What's up, everybody? Big, infamous Torn News. I'm coming to the great city of Cleveland, one of my favorite cities, literally on the planet. Tons of culture, tons of people, tons of families being born in basements, sex dungeons and incest. And that's most of Cleveland when you really think about it. It's people having

entire families with people that they are keeping as sexual slaves below sea level. That is mostly Cleveland. But outside of that, there's other very cool cultural things. You can go take a picture on top of a sign that says cleveland with train tracks and garbage in the background so that's really cool that's a great thing that you get to do we'll definitely do that can't wait uh so we'll see you there cleveland literally cannot wait for that pittsburgh we're coming to you after cleveland you know i'm saying that's a fucking step up i'll tell you that much i know that uh christopher nolan did uh the bane batman inane Batman in Pittsburgh because he's like, that city scares me. Well, after Cleveland, Pittsburgh is going to feel like Cancun.

Okay? I cannot wait to be in you. I love you guys. I really cannot wait. And then, of course, New York City, baby. NYC. Radio City Music Hall. Second show added. Those tickets Music Hall. Second show added.

Those tickets fucking flying. Do not wait. Do not DM me. Do not call me and say, oh my God, it's sold out. I couldn't get it. Go get the tickets now. Okay? Go get the tickets now.

Some of you listening right now, we're friends, but we're not close enough. You're like, am I close enough to ask him for free tickets? If you're wondering, you're not close enough. You're like, am I close enough to ask him for free tickets? If you're wondering, you're not. Got the tickets. Okay? I love you. Get the tickets. Theandrewschultz.com.

Akash, what you got? First of all, thank you to everybody in San Antonio. We had a crazy weekend. It was amazing. Appreciate you all again. Now, April 1st and 2nd, I am also coming to Ohio, but not Cleveland. Much better city.

Toledo! I'll be there April 1st and 2nd. Also April 8th and 9th, I'll be in Tampa at the Improv and April 22nd and 23rd. Get your tickets. Tickets are running low. Toronto, my first theater show, Royal Theater. I better see every fucking Indian in Brem in Bangladesh out there.

Get your tickets at akashsingh.com for that show and all the other shows I got coming up. The madness has officially begun. It's time for you to shoot your shot. Score big on nonstop action with MyBookie. It doesn't matter whether you're filling out multiple brackets, betting the national championship winner, or simply looking for player and game props. My bookie has you covered. Sign up today at my bookie and use the promo code flagrant to secure a first deposit bonus up to $1,000.

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Now let's get back to the show. I had a great weekend. What did you do, buddy? I was practicing swimming. Okay, that's good. my wife ran the half marathon that see women's sports women's sports you supported sick he supports women's he never said he didn't you're the one saying he didn't technically the half marathon is not a woman's sport yeah that's just a woman doing sports dudes in it too yeah exactly yeah and she was busting some of their asses that's my point we should just mix all the categories, men and women together.

It worked this weekend. You know what? There was, I don't know if you guys saw this, but I think there was this woman who made a film. I forget which film it is. Dove will know exactly what it is. Just calls out Serena Williams for no fucking reason. Did y'all see this?

No. When she was accepting her thing? Oh, yeah. I heard about this. Some white lady. Some fucking cishet white lady. Dove has no idea what you're talking lady some fucking cishet white lady some cishet white lady she directed this film i forget which film it is and basically goes up to accept it and for no reason it's like uh and i have to compete him against men serena you don't

even have to do that damn bitch you you don't have to hold the camera. What do you mean you're competing against? Like, yes. As a filmmaker? Yeah, as a filmmaker. Like, you should have to. That's hilarious. Like, the fact that we have, like, male and female. I think Chris Rock maybe did a bit about this.

But, like, male and female categories for, like, best actor. Like, Meryl Streep is not worried about competing with Leonardo DiCaprio at acting. Yeah. Wait, you think she's a better actress? Yes. And Leo's nice, but that bitch Meryl Streep is a problem. She did Leah Thomas in that shit.

She did Leah Thomas in that shit. What movie you just saw with Meryl Streep? You had to see something. I think she was in Coco, bro. I think she was in Coco. She was Coco. She could sing yo she could sing she could sing like that you can bring somebody to tears with your voice yo okay

i did not know meryl streep was coco that's fire y'all seen coco yeah don't get me started we talked about this movie i just saw it again but i finished it for the first time no you know the end is what you gotta wait till the end that's when you cry yeah i know i was on a flight that shit landed right when the motherfucker couldn't go back to the to the real world oh so i don't know what happened okay don't ruin it for people he called me yesterday he's like yo who wrote coco we need that It was so serious. That's a perfect bill. This guy's crying for 20 minutes. 23 minutes at the end. I'm literally watching this shit crying like knees on the head.

You know what movie's mid as fuck? Onward. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. I never watch it, bro. It's not a Coco, but it's not mid. Can I say something? Can I say something thank you can i say something can i say something fucker this is this is this is you watch onward yeah not during the quarantine

slash pandemic okay onward came out if i'm not mistaken when we were all quarantined yeah so we got nothing better to do yeah yes hater nothing at all and then there's this beautiful movie that comes out it was good but it's like you said it was the best movie you ever saw you cried three times that's cap that's cap give me your goggles bro that's no that's cap dude I did not cry a few times at Coco I cried for the last 20 minutes straight it was like Braveheart for me but you didn't finish it I finished it this last time

oh okay and I was bawling I can't believe you just now finished it it's so good everybody the way we've been talking about that movie and you didn't finish it before

bro it was it was unbelievable that guy turned out to be the bad guy the whole time. Yo, yo, yo. You? No, no, no. You need to start seeing shit.

Yeah. Also, you're not gonna feel it the way we felt it. This guy got enough time to go on 15 dates a week. Yeah, I know. He got no time to watch a fucking movie

and then we can't talk about Batman. A beautiful movie. And these girls are probably 22 anyway. They'd love to watch it. If you watch that movie with a girl,

you'll get married. Yo, son. Dead ass. I was weeping, bro. It's beautiful. Who's going to put anything on your ofrenda? Hold on, hold on. Who's going to put it?

My date was Mexican. My God, dude. Oh, fuck, man. Remember me when you're simping something. I don't know. Oh, God, man. That shit was beautiful. And then my girl started watching

encanto okay it was good i'm not in yet i had no interest that name be killing me i had no interest they start the fucking movie i watched 10 minutes i'm like oh man yeah i had to go yeah i was swim practice but i was fucking in, dude. They are masters. You know who wrote Encanto, though? Who? Lin-Manuel Miranda. Yeah.

Here's the thing. In all due respect to Lin-Manuel Miranda, the dude has made some bangers. He gives the initial, then they give it to the Pixar people, and they go, what'd they get from here? Moana?

Banger. Anything Pixar? No, it slaps every time. The rate at which they hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watch every Pixar. A Pixar movie that's bad is one that you don't fucking love. Then you're like, oh, that was disappointing.

I didn't fucking love it. Yes, yeah. If it's not Coco level, you're like, nah. Up? Holy shit, up. The first 10 minutes of up. Toy Story 1, 2, and 3. Phenomenal. I didn't fuck with 4. I didn't fuck with 4. But that's the of Up. Toy Story 1, 2, and 3. Phenomenal.

I didn't fuck with 4. But that's the same thing. I was like, eh. But still, you're squeezing all the juice out. 4. Yeah, right. Andy 37. It's a new family. What are we doing, guys? So, we need to get whoever's in charge of Pixar. What's the one with the feelings?

Oh, Inside Out. I'm going to watch that now. Have you seen it? we need to get whoever's in charge of Pixar alright you know how what's the one with the feelings oh Inside Out I'm gonna watch that now I haven't seen it oh my god you're gonna cry this one you're gonna cry

this one my nigga this one is crazy son it's crazy take a flight just to watch it honestly circle the block a few times

land at JFK it's fire Inside Out was built up too much for me it's Cocoa if you're watching a plane it's over Inside Out was built up so know i'm playing it's cocoa if you're watching a plane it's over inside i was built up so much for me that disappointed me oh man but i also am not i just be hating on your soul's fire too you saw that you hit on everything i like soul

i like soul so it was good so it was good i thought what i liked about soul was i think we spoke about it was that like um it it was a movie or like it was a movie or like it was a Pixar, whatever you call them, an animation. And I like that Pixar does this where it's like, oftentimes when you do a movie

or animation that has black people in it, it has to feel like this is a black thing. And one of the geniuses of like Jordan Peele is like he's just making these awesome horror movies that happen to be filled with black people but they're not this is a black movie and i think that yeah it's not pandering or it's not using these like stereotypical characters right it's just like hey these are the people that this movie takes it and i'm not pandering coco wasn't to me

wasn't like this is only for mexicans it was like this just happens to take place yeah yeah and and then that's what um soul felt like as well except soul most of the movie he's just a little blue guy yeah that shit was he was trippy that's a bait and switch you're a black dude going to the theater you're like finally a black movie and the whole time was just fucking can i be honest i thought soul was mid really yeah i thought i was a little bit hype uh but it was good it was good but that's good. But again, that's Pixar. It's good. So you're like, oh, it's disappointing.

Yeah. I don't think they make a bad movie. Fair enough. Okay. So here's my question. The guy that runs Marvel, Dove, what's his name? Kevin Feige. Kevin Feige.

Yeah. Ledge. There is a Pixar version of Kevin Feige. Yeah. Who the fuck is that lazard and then he kind of went away now he's at a sun or sky dance animation but the same guys that are this is what's interesting about pixar the guys that are the animators from toy story are still there as like the executives so the executives are also the creatives are also the directors you're everything. They're watching over each other's projects. So there's like 50 collaborators on a project.

So it's Pete Docter and Andrew Stanton. I mean, just unbelievable. To be able to put something out. The number of home runs they've hit back to back to back to back to back is insane. And let me just point out this one thing. If you are, for example, a chef and you create the dish and you make it every single time, it's possible for you to maintain that consistency. Right. Then you start a restaurant.

You can't be there every single day. So you've got to teach other chefs to do it. But you need to create enough like systems and rules so that they can make it consistently like you. And then you turn to McDonald's and you're like, OK, maybe the quality quality is going to go down but it's going to taste the same everywhere you go right with these fucking pixar movies and movies just in general there are thousands of people working on this shit right yeah like to perhaps to have one guy in marvel and one guy in pixar maintain more or less the quality of every single thing that comes out when you have to manage thousands of fucking people that's impressive bro it's crazy and you know what I

what else I just realized Pixar hits at a higher percentage than Marvel yo facts whoa wait it's not I'm gonna be honest it's indisputable because I didn't love Inside Out so many people love Inside Out do you know anybody whose favorite Marvel movie is Black Widow or Scarlet Witch or whatever the fuck? No. They have movies. They put out enough that you don't really notice, but they have movies that none of us really give a fuck about.

But there are some. Avengers Age of Ultron, none of us loved it. There's a lot of Pixar movies that are just for kids and we don't watch them at all. What are you saying on that? There's a lot of Pixar movies that are just for kids that we don't even tune into them at all. Like if you watch it, you'd be like be like ah like you'll snore through it and these are these are things that come out in theaters or these are yeah good dinosaur was like fine cars cars sort of sucked now first people love

cars people love cars that's that's the thing you might not like it i didn't love inside out people fucking love it no it's just for selling toys, like cars, planes, all that. That was just for kid toys, like that kind of stuff. Good Dinosaur wasn't that good. Luca was good. I thought it was good. I thought it was good. More for kids. But Pixar's business model hasn't changed.

They're not making as many things as Marvel's going to make. And Marvel's about to make ten times more. Like every single character that you see in a feature is going to have a whole series. Did the Eternals slap? I don't know a lot of people that saw that. That was good. I thought Shang-Chi was good. Shang-Chi was good.

Shang-Chi was good. But it got slapped on and seemed like it did fine. The problem that Marvel is going to have to figure out right now or the solution for is that the new things that they're creating, right? These new stories are based on characters that we don't have any nostalgia with yeah right so like i don't know what the eternals are now they're gonna find out how powerful their brand is yeah you know like it's like when a clothing brand like puts out some absolute dog shit and you're like man but it's gucci like now you find out how powerful marvel is when you don't do a woline, when you don't do a Avengers, when you don't

do an X-Men. Like Shang-Chi was a character nobody fucking heard of. And the fact that they made something good, you start going, okay, maybe I should dabble in these characters that I know nothing about because they're so good at storytelling. And they did it with Guardians of the Galaxy. That's slapped.

That's slapped. And I was walking in there like it's a fucking raccoon i'm gonna watch that's what's that director's name what's his name uh james gunn yo here's the thing i'll follow that motherfucker if james gunn wants to do eternals i'll watch eternals if james gunn wants to take some random character we never fucking heard of i'll watch that so yeah kevin feige was that guy but uh there's only one of him and what happens at pixar is that there's like 20 of him and they stay at pixar they work their full time to like be the creative team and marvel it's like you get one kevin feige and then they assign it to a new

director and a couple new executive producers each time you're not going to have that consistency that pixar has no way anyway back to the weekend yeah can you explain other than watching uh coco why why didn't you run in the half marathon i didn't train how much did your girl train she trained a lot really no low-key yeah and you couldn't just bust it out no then you run every time you go to the gym yeah but i don't it's the long miles 13 miles long you know fam i used to think i could bust it you could just do it yo son i i ran a marathon not training at all mind you i cramped the entire way but i finished it what time you did yeah how long did you do probably six and a half yeah what was your average mile time that's what i'm trying to oh i don't know something that's walking a marathon yeah hey i did it though that's actually

true and here's the thing i know i could do that yeah but i'm not trying to embarrass my girl when she trained oh smart that's actually very nice yo you're a gentleman that's But I'm not trying To embarrass my girl When she trained Oh smart That's actually Very nice of you Yo you're a gentleman That's very nice of you I'm a loving husband You're supportive I have to support

God you're a feminist dude Yeah We've known this I know I know sometimes It just takes me It just floors me How much of a feminist you are

Why? Because you got that Cis head cock You know what It's probably contagious Yeah He's just rubbing off on you Yeah

Because he doesn't have a fucking Lilo to fill up. That's what they do with these oppressors. I wish I could rub off on them. That'd be fire. No, no. In all seriousness,

we went for like a long run the other day or a few weeks ago and my cardio was fine but literally my muscles started to get tired. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what happens. That's sports, bro. Yeah yeah i never had that experience that i never experienced like the cardio would go first usually but like my my leg muscles were like yeah we're not doing this no more that i thought it's y'all don't have that happen where the cardio yeah you never had a cramp what are you talking about you never worked out and be like oh my muscles are like you try to do an extra set. Like, oh, shit, that's it. I just take 60 second break.

I could do it again. But like when you were playing basketball, you didn't get to the end of the game. Be like, oh, my knees are shaky. If I go up the stairs, it'll hurt. Not if I'm on offense. On defense, I'm tired as fuck. I'll be like, yo, switch, switch, switch. Close out, close out.

But offense, I always got that extra jolt of energy. I can jump high. Because you're not playing defense. Yeah, defense, my cramps kick in. Big time. I'm a more offensive player. That's really what it is. That's the thing about soccer.

You don't got to play defense if you don't want to. If you're a striker. I mean, kind of. If you're a Ronaldo, not playing no fucking defense. I mean, but he's getting back, though. He's getting back on a corner kick. To do what? To show support?

Yeah. Motherfucker. Good job, guys. See? Good job. No, he's an ally. He goes back there. He supports the team.

Tries to get the ball. Take it out. Right, right. That's what I could do. That's why I know I could play soccer better than anybody on this earth. Okay. Because if it's just all offense. It's also all running. Say again? It's also all running. And Okay. Because if it's just all offense. It's also all running.

Say again? It's also all running. And I can do that. If it's offense. Apparently you can't. I can do anything if I can take a little break. You can't take a break when you're jogging. If I take a little 60 second break, I get right back into it.

They have water cups on the side of the marathon. You just run up, take a sip, wait 60 seconds and keep going. I ain't doing water cups. No, you couldn't stop. I ain't stopping. No, you didn't want to stop with your girl also running. That's's what it was because if you and your girl are running together and you're like all right let me take a break you'd be like you would make her stop too yeah yo you tired or what yo your knee looks like it's hurting but he has longer legs so your pace is probably faster you

just will tire out so you just go ahead and then you stop And then she catch up And then you just keep doing it She would bust my fucking ass Nah We would fuck up her pace When you fell And then she had to go And see how you're doing Yeah you might hit her With a Tonya Harding bro You might hit her With a Tonya Harding

And try to sabotage That's the other thing It'd be too dangerous For me to train Yeah If I was putting Multiple miles in On a treadmill

Every single week Nah that's a problem bro So what did you do You just supported her On the side I just supported her I had my bike I had that Super 73.

Shout out to Super 73. Here's your shout out three years later. Gave us 15 fucking bikes. I didn't do a single Instagram post, but here's your fucking shout out. Oh, my God. You know, Jameel was asking me for one. He was like, yeah, you think I can get a discount on one? I was like, oh, maybe.

So, but yeah, I was just biking around supporting, you know. So, but yeah, I was just biking around supporting, you know. The fact that you were following her on an electric bike, you couldn't even pedal. You were not trying to tune your pedals. Just pedal. You in or you out? Just pedal. You know what I'm saying? Let's go.

Don't be in the middle. Do this. No. I'm out here, bro. I'm out here supporting my wife What did y'all do to support your wives this weekend? What did y'all do? Worked?

Yeah I'd be working You know what I'm saying? What else did you do? We came to your wife's celebration brunch You don't need to talk now You don't have a wife Your caviar brunch Okay

Oh yeah you had caviar I look fire I do that now Oh I do that now. Oh. I do that now. Oh, okay. Sick. Yeah.

My man is living different, bro. Yeah, we live in different, bro. Yeah. Okay. Well, I took her to Mexico. That's how I was born. Oh. Shit.

I mean, we just went on a ferry for 30 minutes to get there. And literally, we flew in, four-hour flight, two hours in a car, 30 minutes on a ferry to stay there for two days. I was trying to tell you that. Yeah, I know. there for two days. I was trying to tell you that. Yeah, I know. I didn't calculate. I was trying to tell you that. Hey, you know where you should go, Aruba?

I know. Bro, I was so mad, though, because I was in the Uber, and I was like, god damn it. We're going to get it at 10 o'clock at night. It's going to be dark. We lose the whole day. I look at my story. Al's in Antigua, already on the beach.

Yep. Somehow. He's out of the pool. And then on top of that, guess who I saw at the airport? Who? Hoda. Hoda. No, not Hoda. Hoda. Oh, Kath oh kathy lee and hoda yeah kathy lee and hoda and hoda was there looking fire really yeah she's that drunk girl that used to be on tv with kathy lee she was super cool and she and she finessed the whole

customs how so we're standing there in line we land customs is probably an hour and a half at least so we get off the plane they funnel you into a room about global entry that shit sucks it's something else but they have greeters green cards what do you say greeters greeters so a lot of airports are private most airports are private and you can pay there's usually a service and someone will uh walk your ass to the front well apparently that happened because i walked in there was fucking squid games and it was just like four lines and you had to pick one of the shapes and then just hope that it worked and there was like a long zigzag and then there was like a wide zigzag and

you had to pick the one you thought was good so i just followed hoda i was like she probably got it egyptian you know what i mean she's she's smart knows the mazes so i got in the line with her and then i'm standing there and it's her, like, I think her daughter, just like a younger girl with her. And then her truffle. Yeah. I could tell it was a truffleette. She had Dove's energy. And she was looking around and she was not having it.

The fact that it was an hour and a half. So she's sitting there. And all of a sudden. A female truffle Dove. A truffleette. Literally. It's like your alter ego. You guys can all hire this person.

There's your truffle for the day. Everyone can hire person a few hundred bucks good to know all right oh yeah hire people to do stuff for you i was talking about finding love bro yeah no you can set you up the two troubles together you guys be unstoppable okay so she's standing there and all of a sudden i'm watching and then i was about to go talk to him be like man this line's crazy she's literally the person directly in front of me and her hair looks perfect the whole deal all of a sudden all three of them jump out of line after waiting for like five minutes and then the female truffle sits on the ground and i was like oh my goodness she's having a medical emergency what could be happening protesting i thought she was protesting all of a sudden i see two mexicans walk over with

a wheelchair oh put her in the wheelchair. And then she's in the wheelchair hunched over. Not Hoda, the truffalette. She's in the wheelchair hunched over like, oh, my goodness. I'm so dehydrated or something. Lo siento. And then they bring her to the front of customs, skips everyone, and then they go through. And then I wait in the line for an hour and a half. You would hate that.

Fuming. You wouldn't allow it. You would hate that. He would try to smoke that. That bitch was walking I would have snitched I almost went crazy nah I don't play that

I almost put her in a wheelchair for real if I could cut the line then it's like figure y'all shit out but if I'm weighing everybody's weighing I don't even like when they try to get in front of you when you're leaving the plane and by they I mean fucking Hasidic Jews. Every single time.

Hasidic Jews don't understand that when we get up off, when the plane lands, that they have to wait their will. Why do they not get that? They're masters at escaping. Don't put me with those. That's what these people do. For years they've escaped. Countries, prosecution.

They literally feel like the Ottoman Empire just fell. Every single time it's unbelievable every time they come bustling up the front the plane is still rolling unleavened bread bro

that's what it is the plane's unleavened they're just fucking running out that's how they do it that's crazy that's why you text me should I put myself

in a wheelchair so it wasn't a greeter they didn't have a greeter they just did I text a dove I don't do that for karma reasons now I used to do it too i don't do that for karma reasons now i used to do it at disneyland with my friends back in the day oh yeah i almost knocked my girl out

i would have knocked her out yeah i would have given her one elbow fell to the ground well you could just ask her to play along no she's the worst actress of all time she's the worst because i was talking i was like okay which one of us wants to collapse yeah and she's like oh i'll collapse and i was like well i thought i should collapse because it's going to be more acting for the person that passed out. Nah, son. If you collapse, they're going to leave you there. They're going to keep you at the airport.

No. No, they're going to do like an ambulance ship, but they can't just cross you into America. There's probably some sort of facility there. No. Yeah. I would say, oh, take me to the ambulance in Hobosh, Mexico. That'd be really convenient. Oh, this is getting into Mexico. Yeah. Oh, I thought this is getting back. No, no, no, no, no, take me to the ambulance in Ojo, Mexico. That would be really convenient. Oh, this is getting into Mexico.

Oh, I thought this is getting back. No, no, no, no, no, no. Going into Cancun. Oh, yeah, yeah, dude. He traveled to Cancun on spring break weekend. Yeah. Oh, this guy's retarded. I don't want to travel.

I've never been anywhere. I've never been anywhere. What the fuck is up? Stop trying to, like, do it yourself. I was trying to tell him that. No, no, no, no. He was telling me about this trip. I'm telling you. He wanted to do it himself. What do you mean tell him that. He was telling me about this trip. I'm telling you.

He wants to do it himself. What do you mean do it himself? Let me plan my own vacation. And I don't want to go to Cancun. I want to go to Hobosh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's less touristy. I'm a grown up, okay?

And I'm going to do it myself. I don't need any of that. Son, you have a weekend? Yeah. You take a direct flight to the place where you can go? Yep. You make sure the airport is smart? You're out of there in 30 minutes?

Boom. Yeah. Small. Not smart. Not now. No, but what's crazy is he asks for advice two months before, You make sure the airport is smart, you're out of there in 30 minutes. Yeah. Small. I know that now. What's crazy is he asks for advice two months before, then doesn't tell you when it's going to happen. He just does it. No, he needs to do it.

He's all grown up. I can make my own vacations. I'm a grown up. I can make my own. No, no, no. You're going to learn. You're going to learn. You're going to learn.

Wait, but what do you want him to do? He got to call us. Oh, we're going to get to you in a minute. Oh, we're going to get to you in just one minute, Al. Okay? You call us and say, how do I do this? What's the best way? Should I go for three days?

I asked Jameel. Jameel said, yo, Hobart's the spot. Better than that? But he didn't say for 24 hours. You were in Hobart for 12 hours. Yeah, I know. I didn't explain it perfectly. Jameel lives there for months.

Has relationships with the best restaurants, hotels, everything. I can get you hooked up here. I'll go to Mark's this morning. Disregards. My girl looked at the website and said she liked the pictures better. BMA! BMA! BMA!

I know. BMA! I know, but it's like I don't know travel, so I just assume she knows it. They know travel! Can we say one funny ass thing, though? Because my girl and I got into it over this shit. We were, we were,

we were at a, we were talking about the honeymoon, right? And she planned the honeymoon, right? Right. Of course she planned the honeymoon. And she made me feel like,

what was it? I was giving pushback about one thing. And she goes, you have to understand, like you've had a lot of say in this. Like you were the one that wanted to leave from this place at the end yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so here's the thing that they don't get here's ladies this thing you don't get but this is the

thing you don't get like okay so basically we're going to a few different places in italy right okay and i suggested right after my girl showed me the whole trip she's like i did some work on the honeymoon did some work on the honeymoon means i planned the whole fucking honeymoon top to bottom this is how it's gonna be okay i go at this point anything you suggest is like just just shitting all over hours of their hard work yeah right right so it's already set in stone okay it's already done right but at the same time it's like well it's my honeymoon too i want to do it you're so gay yeah i know i was like no it's not yeah no no honeymoon's not wedding fam yes it is it's all their shit bro it's all their shit but when you go on vacations it's their shit too no here's the thing not vacation no but you're playing this whole honeymoon without me. It hurt my feelings. No, it doesn't. Are you serious?

Don't I get a say? Well, here's the thing. She tried to act like I planned it. That's what pissed me the fuck off. You got gassy. I agree. You got gassy. I've been using that shit all the time on her.

I've been using that shit. And all the time, she tried to raise her voice in a public place. I went over the top. She tried to raise her voice. She's like, you have to understand that you've had a say in all this. I was like, literally in the restaurant, this loud. What do you mean I've had a say in all this?

I don't care anymore. I don't care anymore. I have public conflict. I don't care. I don't care. I want to smoke. Okay? Okay? He said, you can't do it.

I was in the middle of the oldest snake place in New York City, and I was like, all the dudes here know all about this shit. I ain't ruffling no feathers. They're like, work it, King. Yeah. First time. They're like, why is she here with you? This is for you and your homies.

They're all rubbing the ring finger that's no longer there. this is for you and your homies they're all rubbing the ring finger that's no longer there so so but yeah she was trying to act like i made this big decision at the end and i had to explain to my wife i said baby i love that you plan all this shit you're way better planning you know all the fucking cool spots to go to etc but stop acting like i did i chose to do this my ideal honeymoon is i we go to a surf beach. I surf all day and then we hang out all night. And then she goes, you would rather surf?

She literally said to me, she goes, you would rather surf than hang out with me? I was like, during the day? How fast did you respond? How many seconds went by? It was immediate or you waited two seconds?

What do you mean? When she asked the question. Turn the day. I said immediate reaction. During the day? Like that. the question, turn the day. I said immediate reaction. Turn the day? Like that. I go, turn the day. Bro, I just understood

couples vacations. Okay, yeah. I just understood it. Play. No one told me. No one told me. It's like the Disney cruise. You know how the parents

just drop their fucking kids off at the Disney handlers? I thought that shit was mad weird before. No. But now it's like couples vacations. Oh, because when you first go on vacations,

everyone's polite and you're like, oh yeah, we can go to the botanical gardens and you just make up some shit and you do it. No. And then you just kind of, neither of you are go on vacations, everyone's polite. And you're like, oh, yeah, we can go to the Botanical Gardens. And you just make up some shit and you do it. No. And then you just kind of, neither of you are happy because you're both doing shit you don't want to do. Vago. So then they do the dumb shit.

And then we go hiking and everything's great. Yeah. And then you link up at night and you're like, oh, how was your day? And then there's stories. It's awesome. It's the best. Every party I went to as a kid was our parents would all go, everybody's parents. And then they all split up.

You can't imagine stupid Indian parties. Oh, look at all the Indians come together in Dallas and stink up the neighborhood. No, stop trying to compare your fucking Indian parties to grown man shit. You know why Indians go on vacation? Where the man wants. That is true. That is true. All right, guys, we're going to take a break

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535 Mission Street, San Francisco, California 94105. Visit earnest.com slash licenses for a full list of licenses. Now let's get back to the show. Happy birthday, by the way. Thank you. Happy birthday, Al. Happy birthday, Al. Thank you. Visit earnest.com slash licenses for a full list of licenses. Now let's get back to the show. Happy birthday, by the way. Thank you. Happy birthday, Al. Very nice. I had the most amazing trip because 60% of it I was alone.

Wait, why? So, I booked this trip Wednesday night for a Thursday 8 a.m. flight. G's up. That's how a man does that shit. I get there. It's fantastic. Oh, my girl couldn't get off on Thursday. So I book her flight

the next day in the morning. And so it was too late of course for her to act for the day off. So I was like, I'll just come on the next day or whatever the case is. I'll get one day. That's what I'm saying, calling sick, yo. Thursday, apparently you guys had a bunch of fog here. So she keeps getting notifications. She keeps getting notifications. Oh, her fight's

pushed back, pushed back, pushed back, and now it's Saturday. This is the greatest birthday any man has ever had. So my birthday was Friday. So you had a resort alone. Oh, fuck, dude. What a day. It was fantastic. But at the same time,

I missed her a lot. So it's like to have her same time i missed her a lot so it's like to have her there for the later part of it it was like perfect it's perfect i had my time missing energy yeah you see her and you're all over you're like this is your surfing the day hang out at night yes that's yours you had it you fucking had it it was amazing okay now tell the actual funny part about the actual funny part so fucking idiot. So when I was booking this, I was like, oh, shit. Where does Charlemagne go? Oh, Turks? No, he goes to Anguilla.

He goes to Anguilla. So he goes, I'm going to go to that island that Charlemagne goes to. Oh, my God. You're an idiot. Fucking dumbass. So I'm on a flight. I text Charlemagne. I was like, yo, Charlemagne, do you have any recommendations to go to Antigua?

He just wrote, I go to Anguilla. It was so much sass. It was like, ew. Bro. Yeah. But I wouldn't change a thing, though. Amazing island. Really?

Amazing. So fucking beautiful. Small. You can get from each coast until like a half hour. Do you rent a car or something? No, no, no. How long is the flight? Flight's three and a half. Solid? Solid.

It's amazing. How'd you mix it up? Antigua and Guadalupe. How was your 20 hours in Mexico? It was fire. It was amazing. Best 20 hours I ever spent. I didn't plan it that good. I had a full 40. Oh, Mark got there at night this is funny and the whole resort like shuts down at like what time it's like an eco friendly resort oh my gosh yes like they do eco-friendly hotel basically meaning like they

just don't give you shit then say it saves the planet yeah okay man trash yeah we pulled up and then there's like no hot water after 12 so we get out this long flight we're on a road i'm like man i'd love to take a shower it's like a resort it's like a really nice one but they do eco-friendly so you got one towel that's why he dressed like this because he didn't get to wear his beach clothes i was getting shelled the whole time and then we got cucked on the beach what happened because we pull up we sit there two chairs wide open take your spot bro this girl walks up to me and goes hey excuse me, sorry to bug you, but did you guys take the chairs that were here?

And we're like, yeah, we're sitting in them right now. You literally see us sitting in them. And she's like, oh, okay, because my grandma and I actually reserved it. And I turn around and I look at her, and she's like a 20-year-old girl, and then her grandma might be 1,000. She's the oldest woman I've ever seen in my life. She looked like the sand on the beach. She was that old.

Yeah, literally. She was someone's abuelita. And then she's standing there, and I was going to just tell her, no, we got these now, I'm sorry. But the fact that her grandma's there, in a full bathing suit, I was like, fine.

You got to try to smash. You're telling me. So I just said, all right, fine, take it. Gave her the seats. There was only two seats for the whole beach? It was like super packed. Eco-friendly, you know what I eco-friendly you know eco-friendly yeah you know eco is economy during spring break yeah oh yeah that's that's what made it worse yeah no i should have gone to fucking antigua yeah my place wasn't a spring break destination even though my hotel apparently

is for influencers and so there were about 30 bbls walking around no oh it looked like like a music video for fucking thong song or some shit like that really fucking crazy and you had the whole day by yourself unfortunately mark laughed so hard at thong song as you're getting into your record mark couldn't even contain himself just because he was like no but it was exactly like that cisco yeah of course yeah but what other are you going to think of that has just like ash cheeks out? Like it was just that. I mean, what? Fuck you.

Nah, it was crazy. So you ever heard of the Claremont twins? Claremont twins. Google it. Yeah. Yeah, let's Google that because I totally have not. Some influencers, identical twins, like crazy, like Nicki Minaj bodies. And they were celebrating their birthday.

So all their friends look exactly the same. It was crazy. Were there dudes there, too? A few, mainly gay. So there's just hot chicks there, no guys. Oh, that sounds fun. Who's paying? Hmm?

Who's paying for them? So the influencers, they get hooked up. Oh, they just have to take pictures at the resort and do the whole thing resort looks sick i mean you only post that one video but it looks fucking sick fire and that was like right off of your room or something like that wow yeah antigua that's my new spot i'm going there like i got cool with the hotel with the the owner of the hotel and all that shit like i'm going right back to that really yeah it was awesome expensive no like the flight and shit no flight was like three and three and change what what do you what do you like the claremont twins like bro i could see that you like

i've made friends with them. Yeah, we're friends. We're influencers. Yeah. Yeah, and they influenced me to double tap their picture. I happened to make friends with them before my girl got to the iPhone. Yeah. And then she made friends with them, too. We all made friends.

Just jogging. I'm on quadruplets, bro. Jogging. It's nice. You guys are wild, bro. You guys are wild, bro. This is a wild guy. I know. This is a wild guy i know like just a wild guy crazy bro wild motherfucking i'm just saying i had a nice trip it was nice at the wrong island i was in

i didn't even get mexican, yo. What'd you eat? Sunday, we're going to eat Mexican food, and we're editing, and I'm looking around for all these brunch spots, and everybody closes at like 2.30 p.m. Yeah. And we finished editing at like 3. So after walking around for like an hour on the riverwalk and shit, we're like, yo, you know what?

Let's just eat a Chipotle. So the only Mexican food I got the entire time I was in San Antonio was a Chipotle. This is embarrassing, bro. This is embarrassing, embarrassing dog from a texan no less i went to texas ready to eat weren't you there friday too you planned your trip like mark we got in right before the flight before the show saturday i was like let's try not to eat junk food till sunday i got two shows and i don't want to do it and then sunday i was like all right we can do it today motherfucking every spot they were like

nah we closed man i don't know what you think this is we're not open all day what kind of poor restaurants do you eat at and i was like i'll show you and then i went to chipotle nice not chipotle stands up bro i ain't gonna lie i mean mexican mexican you're never disappointed but damn sure ain't great no like kind of fire no i ain't gonna lie you don't think i'll order chipotle right now it's fine yeah it's good it's always good but it's not i like that chipotle you know we got some things we need to discuss okay there's some important things going on in the world and the people that listen to this podcast come to us for facts and information facts and information yes they come to us for facts they come to us for information obviously

yeah they come to us for truth did you just get us for information. Obviously, yeah. They come to us for truth. Did you just get a fucking penny off the ground? I mean, how do you always look for the stereotype? I know for a fact you didn't just pick a fucking show me what's in your hand right now. Drop it. Drop it. Come back into the frame. Drop it. Is he in the frame? Can you see what he's about to

put in my hand? Literally a penny. Holy shit. What's Eddie's pension he's called it bro i'm sure that's the reason i don't know i don't know if i should say this but there was a kid that i was in middle school oh was there did he have cancer too yeah let me tell you right he walked up to you he was like you saved my life shouts of ben yo shouts of ben yeah no one's dm me by the way because they don't like you, dude. They don't fucking like you, dude.

Complaining about your goddamn time going on vacation because this guy's beating fucking cancer every single day. Okay? So, here's the thing. There was this kid named Paul. Paul Mira. Shouts to my boy, Paul Mira. And he was Peruvian. And there was a kid that we went to middle school with. His name was Howard. Yeah. Okay?

And Howard, Paul would always put nickels on the table at Subway. there was a kid that we went to middle school with his name is howard yeah okay and howard paul would always put nickels on the table at subway okay he would just put a nickel in the middle of the table and he would just nudge me and he goes watch howard's gonna grab it dude it was so and then howard would just be like this and just be like, hey, man, you see? And then pull it. I told you! They love it! They love money! Okay, one, love money. Hate the mess of this fucking...

It's the mess. Miles, how are the comments about the fucking egg stains the whole under Akash? So you picked up the penny off frame did it come from my shorts too by the way now it's yours to begin with seriously we have to talk about some things

some serious topics Hunter Biden's laptop is back in the news okay how are we going to talk about that this is a big deal does anybody know exactly why it's back in the news. This is a big deal. How are we going to talk about that? This is a big deal. Okay, does anybody know exactly why it's back in the news? Apparently, the New York Times

clarified that the laptop was in fact Hunter Biden's actual laptop. Whoa. They got left at a Delaware repair shop. Which they had kind of suppressed. Because initially, mainstream media,

and this is even right-wing media. I think Fox also shut it down. Everybody came down. They said, this is most likely misinformation maybe russian misinformation trying to sway the election but now it turns out that it was actually real yeah and maybe being used to sway the election in biden's favor by silencing the story yeah whoa yeah but i didn't really understand what was on the laptop that was such a big deal just him being the man yeah i know smoking crack

and smoking out thoughts yeah like why is that would that help biden no but i think it was basically like biden biden was doing what any father would do which is try to get his fuck up son a job yeah using. Using his influence. Without love. Good for him. But here's the thing. If you get caught, you get caught. Yeah.

And then you got to get punished. But before you get caught, that's what every single dad would do. 100%. I'm going to do it. Y'all are going to do it. Yeah. Every single one of us. That's the Indian way of life.

Nepotism. Nepotism. Yeah. That's what we do. Yeah. Is it? Why? What's so Indian about ne nepotism veer was talking

about it remember and he's just have like a family business that's just what it is yes yes yes yes he thought that they invented family business yeah i think this is this is not that old saying oh the family business yeah like you know how you know there's not but there's literally like sometimes your last name is like merchant and that's just the family business like it's that's what you do yeah last name is doctor indian dude an engineer no it's not an indian thing i never had an engineer hold on one second did dub just jihad this podcast i know what the fuck he was looking at me like i was supposed to acknowledge them for a second so what do you do is bad i guess there was some like business dealings between um ukraine and it was like gifts from china and ukraine or whatever and of course this is gonna happen

they want to they want to get i don't want to use curry favor again but they want to like curry favor with the president and so they basically like are looking after the president's kid and you basically get to the president through the president's kid but how didn't the fucking clintons do this for years like didn't they have the clinton foundation yeah and that's how you would these other countries would donate money to the clinton foundation and that would be funneled back to the clintons and then ideally you know you would use that to have some sort of like influence or have the president's ear or something like that 100 this is what every politician does republicans do that shit and you get kickbacks that's the whole point of being a politician

you think any of these guys are straight george bush went to yale this is what you're supposed to do take care of your kids but. But if you get caught, you should get slapped on the wrist and it shouldn't go away. But when you're the president, you can make shit go away. This is powerful people. He wasn't president yet, technically. He was vice and he was going to be the president. But yeah, he has people in places of power. I do think it's weird

that social media specifically, like if a company doesn't want to run the story or whatever, but the fact that Twitter was like, you can't talk about the story for 14 days or whatever. I do think that's fucked up to like it's intentionally suppressing something that you don't know if it's true or not oh wait a minute is that what they said i don't know i'm pretty sure yeah twitter like so that you can't talk about the story until after the election it was like it was censored until we can verify if it's true or not that's my understanding i might be incorrect but that's the way i understood it which i thought that was

fucked up but i'm also like what's on the laptop that's so damaged? Also, what broke motherfucker fixes their laptop? Buy a laptop. Boy, I didn't know laptops were real. I'm on it for crack. Maybe. Yeah, I mean, there's no other reason. Nah, but if he had some, like, Fire Home movies on there that he didn't back up in the iCloud, he's like,

nah, I'm gonna need that. I mean, this kid is monumentally stupid. Yeah. Like, you are monumentally stupid. Think what you will about Joe Biden biden now in his day that was a bad motherfucker he was a piece a politician have you seen the picture of him as a kid no he was hot yeah i'm about to show you watch this i 100 look great for a crackhead let's be honest like if you're judging crackhead there's a crackhead beauty contest male or female bro

look at this hunter wins no this is joe we're talking about Joe. Yeah, but I'm saying he got good genes. Joe Biden, now he's looking like Matt Pavich. He's a piece of it. Absolute stud. Okay, so then what's the big deal? They suppress this information and help Biden win the election. Oh, yeah. Who gives a fuck? It's always something with these people. Hillary's emails and Trump and Russia and the laptop.

I don't give a fuck, man. I don't care about none of it. I don't think it would have changed the outcome that much. You don't think so? Yeah, I don't think so. Oh, no. The president's son. I don't give a fuck, man. I don't care about none of it. I don't think it would have changed the outcome that much. You don't think so? Yeah, I don't think so. Oh, no. The president's son. I don't like that they intentionally suppressed information. I think that's fucked up. They're censoring shit that you don't know if it's true or not.

They're calling misinformation when it wasn't verified to be misinformation. But I don't think it's that big of a thing now that they're like, oh, it was whatever. Even Tucker had a bombshell report. Remember this? He was like, we have bombshell information about Hunter Biden and Joe Biden and joe biden blah blah and then it got lost in the mail do you remember this he had this whole thing where he's like it's gonna come out like wait till you guys hear this and he's like turns out it got lost oh this is like when maddow had trump's tax returns and they did fucking nothing yeah it's just like look at this guy paying like political theater bullshit it's like all right like is this doing anything or is it just like look at this guy paying like political theater bullshit it's like all right

like is this doing anything or is it just like a pointless story for fodder like that's why i liked what npr said i think npr when the story came out npr but like when the story came out they said we're not going to cover it because it's a pointless distraction it's unimportant and i was like at least they're acknowledging like you know this is we don't think our viewers care about this yeah but like they go we don't think our viewers care about this yeah but like they go we don't think our viewers care about this and in order to pander to our viewership we're just not going to report on shit that they don't care about and now we're telling you like it's just like very honest but that's different than not important we don't think that this will get ratings yeah

exactly it's not important for our audience yeah our audience doesn't want to even know these things so we're not important for our audience no but like that was the implication at least that's the way i read it that they're just like our left our liberal left-leaning audience doesn't care about this so but they don't want to know but when they should care the most because those are going to be the people that are actually voting for this guy and to act like that i mean right now we're literally in a war right like russia and ukraine are in a war yeah and russia is alleging that there's too much western influence in ukraine and that's part of the justification for that war yeah and now we're seeing western influence in ukraine so to act like this doesn't play a little bit of a part in it

yeah yeah that's the part that i don't understand like his dealings with ukraine is that influencing what's happening now i don't know this is what i keep reading and people are saying oh yeah zelinsky's a western puppet this that the other and it's like okay well then who made sure zielinski's in there i mean who was in who was in charge who was in office during that time was it obama this connection and biden so like this connection is the first seed because this in and of itself doesn't mean you're going to treat ukraine differently but it's like the first sign that maybe there's a bunch of things we're doing with you maybe maybe we have a little bit more influence in there than we would like to believe maybe they're not a completely autonomous nation.

Maybe they're not making all their decisions by themselves. Maybe they're being influenced by us, and maybe there are people in power. I love that we're influencing them. Yes. I think that's great. Okay. What is this idea that they need to be autonomous? Yeah, we're the fucking United States of America, bro.

This is an empire. We run shit. Shit runs through us unless you're Saudi Arabia, and you need to get your ass taken care of as well well if if that's true savages if that's true you've seen the way they treat women over there if that's true yeah they're not civilized like us if that's true then we would have to do something then we would have to do something yeah to saudi arabia no so if if the united states is the one that propped up zelensky if we were the one controlling their i don't know controlling but influencing their government and all of a sudden they're at war with russia because of policies that we want to place in the ukraine well, shouldn't we have their back?

No. What is this? Depends on how much influence. Literally place the president there? I mean, that's the thing. Did we place him there? Is he following every single thing we say? We don't know how much influence we do have.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. They got to be part of NATO, bro that's just it is what it is nato allies it's it's not gonna happen sweden's not even in nato nobody knows what any of these things are sweden mad pussy yeah they don't need to be part of nato fuck sweden hey hey i'm not even look i don't know nothing but I'll tell you this I know this much it's us against China at some point in the near future

this is we're all playing that game until we get to that you're from India and Sweden can get it too you're from India choose up India better choose up too

India chose Russia India better choose up alright they gotta motherfucking figure it out India figure it out no no no

tell them yo figure it out USA USA USA USA that's all I'm talking about fucking Russian favoritism

fuck that shit yeah we need their oil for what we drive motherfucking rickshaws everywhere hell yeah

Israel too oh yeah Zelensky hit up Israel they were like where's the weapons yeah yeah yeah at least the US don't really do that much

for India Israel y'all only here because of the U.S. Did Ben Shapiro found a way to blame it on Obama? This guy's unbelievable. That's impressive. This guy's unbelievable. Oh, the reason why.

It's Leah Thomas' fault. Israel. Tomorrow will be a reason why it's Leah Thomas' fault. But he's like, oh, the reason why Israel has to keep diplomatic relations with Russia and the Ukraine is because of the Obama's failings in Syria and handing over Syria to Iran and Russia. So Iran and Russia are in Israel's backyard. So if they don't appease both of them, then it could be horrible for Israel.

So really, it's Obama's fault. Oh, my God. It is. Is that good? It is. The point makes sense. Is Obama's fault? Hell yeah, it does.

I mean, half a million whose fault is that we were that y'all got a country uk uk wow they really that bullshit. UK swung that dick, huh? Balfour Declaration. The United States said, nah, fuck that. You think it would have happened? Obama's good at basketball, okay? He doesn't do anything wrong. He can dunk. Can you dunk?

Why is Bashar al-Assad still alive, guys? Name one Jew who could dunk. Omri Caspi. Omri Caspi can't dunk. I thought he was Iranian. That motherfucker can't dunk. Israeli. He's a three-point shooter. He could dunk. Omri Caspi. Omri Caspi can't dunk. I thought he was Iranian. That motherfucker can't dunk. Israeli. He's a three-point shooter.

He could dunk. He could dunk. Okay, back to the point. Okay, go. Name two Jews who could dunk. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second. The makers of the smoothest hitting pipes and bongs around. Today's episode is brought to you by FreezePipe.

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absolutely nothing about this who everyone in this room about what no i'm the i'm the number one geopolitical journalist in on the planet yeah and i have a good i have good hunches yes okay so go okay so basically zielinski's saying yo if russia doesn't doesn't cozy up on these peace deals it's gonna be world war three Zelensky thinks that more people care about Ukraine than do. Yes, that's propaganda. Okay. You know what? Hey, that's pretty Jewish of him to really exaggerate what's going on.

Oh, you guys, World War III is coming. Okay. All right. There's a comedy show in a bomb shelter in Ukraine, apparently. No, that is real. Brooklyn. Brooklyn. That is misinformation.

That was in Brooklyn. That was a very popular show underneath some sort of fucking vegan laundromat. There's a vegan laundromat in Williamsburg. And that's where that show is. So that's not actually real. That's just the show where all the comics bomb that's what you're thinking of i i think i actually believe there is a bomb shelter show because comics are parasites who will start a show over the fuck they possibly can so funny to see like the twitter fucking hot takes on this like uh

hey um hey uh comedians uh do you really think you have it hard in america hey comedians this is uh this is what it's like to have it hard you think you have it hard in America? Hey, comedians, this is what it's like to have it hard. You think you got it hard over here? This is really what it is. Is that your hot take? That's also wrong. Is that your hot take that it's harder to be at war? It's also wrong.

That's the easiest audience you'll ever get. I mean, these guys are dying for something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're killing in that place. 100%. Now, people are also alleging that zielinski gave a uh like made a video instead of being in front of like the building that he was allegedly in in he was in front of a green screen i hope yeah i hope if he was smart he would yeah get a green

screen dude do it all in front of green screen yeah do you think they film the avengers on the moon right they find a big film the moon landing on the moon like who knows exactly now you're thinking okay we just have to beat the russians there okay because we could drown them in debt yeah that's what it's really about get them to outspend themselves why don't we just do that again it always works why don't we just do another moon race like that worked the first time cold war 1.0 kick that off so it's like let's just do another like dumb competition where we go at each other

and then just try to drain them of money. Could be a good idea. That is a great idea. Let's call it Syria. Okay. Yeah. Should we call it that? Proxy war.

Yeah, proxy war. Let's do a proxy war. 100%. Yeah, to drain them of resources. Isn't it funny that we call wars with white people war? And then when it's brown people, it's called a proxy war. It's a conflict.

It's war real quick when it's white people. Oh, yeah. That's a great point. Yeah. Welcome. Okay, Zelinsky asking Israel for weapons. He just goes, yo, why aren't you guys giving us weapons? Yeah, do it. Good. Play the game, bro. And Israel's probably not giving it to them because they're probably like, well, we don't need to give you a gift because we did nice things

for you before, and that's all that really matters. I don't think we need to give you a gift now. Yo, wouldn't you, if you were Israel, do this? If you were Israel, you would say the same thing to the United States. You'd be like, yo, we're getting invaded. We need your help. And the U.S. would be like, alright, we got you. So he's getting invaded.

He's got to reach out to people for help. 100%. But doesn't america give israel all his weapons yeah so why don't they just go straight to the source and just be like no they co-develop oh it's like a partnership yeah but why don't they just go straight to him just be like yo america give us the weapons you were going to give israel just skip the middleman because we can't be giving them weapons yeah because then that's war proxy weapons exactly

he's got to bring brown people yeah weapons got to come from someone else i'm fucked up as that all these people are saying that uh the russian astronauts came down supporting ukraine yes and that they're in their like yellow and blue in solidarity with like yes this is true i truly believe i truly believe that the the russian astronauts uh planned Russian astronauts planned to make their own outfits. They did it on their own. And they had their own outfits made in Ukrainian colors. They had Ukrainian Betsy Ross come over. And they sewed the whole outfit.

And they did this unbeknownst to the Russian government that supports everything. And they made sure that they they would have everything they possibly need to be in space there's no way that they ever wore these outfits before never this 100 has to be them pushing back against russia and then actually supporting ukraine that's a real right yeah i think that's correct 100 right okay good apparently they actually did call off a Russian American Mars mission. Apparently there's a

$1 billion Mars mission with Russia. It's the European Space Agency that suspended it. Because they were like, oh yeah, we don't know if we can necessarily do diplomatic science related work. That's so weird though because they share the space station.

Yep. International though. Multinational. International space station. But now it's like they're both up there and be like yo, fuck your side. That shit's awkward, right? They're in outer space. What do they care?

Yeah, scientists are all nerds. Scientists think science matters more than anything else. Like, we're above all this. Nah nah fam yeah when you told me they canceled that space mission all i thought of you to save billions of dollars that's great yo apparently though russia brought back an american oh really there was an american on the space station they need a ride back and the only ride back was the same ship that i think brought up those Russians. Brittany Griner's not an alien. She's still there. That's so crazy. She's still there. She needs to start swimming.

She needs to say that she is a professional swimmer. She'd be a good swimmer probably. She absolutely would. The length. There might be one thing holding her back, but besides that, she'd be an absolutely great swimmer. She would be. What? You're thinking clit, dude. That's that. She'd be an absolutely great swimmer. She would be. What?

What? You're thinking clit, dude. That's fucked up. That's super fucked up. That's not what I'm thinking at all. My point is, my point is, is that if she was a swimmer instead of a WNBA player, she would be getting so much more attention and we probably have her back right now. Yeah.

It would be a, at least national news now. It would be at least a national news story. It might be an international news story. But right now, nobody gives a fuck because it's a WNBA player. It's fucked up, dude. We kind of look weak. We're not doing anything for it right now. Right, though?

We look pussy. Yeah, we look really pussy. Nah, we need to step it up. We got to trade her for someone. For what? First round draft pick in 2028. Who are we giving back? Yeah.

It could be anyone. I don't know who it is. Alex Ovechkin. Yeah. Oh, we should lock him up. Lock him up. I've had enough of this guy. Roman Abramovich.

Do we have him? No, he's in France. Oh, he's in France? Yeah, I think so. So France is just where you go when you've broken the law? Yeah. Is that it? Like you fuck a kid, you just go to to france yeah isn't that what roman polanski is literally that's what i thought you were talking about hey hey what that guy's a fucking weirdo man

what he fucked this this kid now he's in france everybody still supports him and isn't it kind of weird he's gone when that sharon tate gets murdered at his house i didn't know the same roman polanski it's the same roman polanski it's the same roman polanski right somehow this guy this guy's a weirdo i'm sad like what a bozo this guy is like being a pedophile i want to see he's an odd duck i want to say he's an odd duck why don't you take a seat he still makes movies there's something fucked with this guy you're shenanigans with these kids it's hollywood that's the hollywood bullshit no but i don't think it's a coincidence that he's gone when the most gruesome murders

in the 60s happened, maybe. Yes, he's a complete goofball, this guy. Yeah, he's a goof. He's a doofus. Just diddling all these kids. But he made the pianist. Slaps. He made the pianist?

Yeah. I wish I knew before I saw that movie. Yeah. Okay, well, thank you for clearing up all the- I wish that girl didn't see his pianist when she was 13. Thank you for clearing up all the geopolitical issues that are happening in the world yeah I got you this is what we're here for we need to make the world a little bit more digestible there's one other geopolitical

issue I want to bring up uh Jake Paul offered 60 million for Kanye and Pete to box bargain dude but the problem is Kanye don't need the money Kanye's too flush dude got billions yeah he don't need that little 30 million dollars that's true like you just can't convince i mean it's genius because it's like jake has found a way to continue like be part of the conversation yeah it's brilliant but uh yeah you can't convince

kanye to do it with money there's got to be something else like pete got disrespect him so much he just wants to fight it out and then make a spectacle out of it but Kanye ain't doing that for 30 minutes I mean after the last text message threat that's enough to want to fight somebody you think? where you at I'm in bed with your wife son yeah but then he said come to Sunday service

he asked him a question I don't understand what he did I'm just saying that's enough to fight somebody well you gotta geotag him that's too much he just answered simply and honestly okay what else we got okay i mean we can get into uh we can get into some really serious things yeah so there's just this video that got passed around we're basically here i gotta pull it up one second basically a a tesla rented tesla oh this is far a Tesla rented Tesla jumps the Echo Park gets fully airborne

and then crashes into two other cars. I'll pull it over here. It was nuts. Oh, shit. oh shit i mean that's fire i mean insane that's fire hits two other cars and then the car leaves i don't know how like they got it out of there but like they didn't catch the dudes that did it but like they just fleed i guess how do they not catch the... When somebody brings back a Tesla rental car with massive damage on it,

and the undercarriage has been on fire. I mean, totals. The whole front of the car is destroyed. Yeah. But there's nothing in the front, right? Yeah. I mean, that's the beauty. Yeah, I guess.

I mean, is this an ad for Tesla? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Low-key, you think Elon just like... Ooh. I mean, he should retweet it. I mean, it's way too like i don't know like random of a thing i feel like to be calculated but like everything looks good about

it like yo the acceleration is good enough that you can fly yeah fucking duke's a hazard yeah the safety is good enough that you can drive away and be fine no one went to the hospital it shows all the airbags on the next picture yeah like it drove off afterwards they must have tested it first what do you mean like they knew that this was gonna happen there was a video that went viral before that's why i'm i'm like suspicious yeah because there was another tesla video i think you sent it in the group chat where it's like a dude in a uh what's the bigger tesla the x yeah the x that jumps it and just gets like two feet of air but then lands fine same place same same jump very heavy car yeah yeah exactly

but i'm like the thought is that everyone's watching it and they see like this big suv jumping and then these guys just randomly like oh let's replicate it get a rental blah blah blah yeah but i'm like it's just such a perfect thing yeah goes insanely viral yeah and no one knows who did it no one knows where it came from that's the thing how does no one know who did it like you have to give all your information yeah i'm telling you yeah they should know it instantly that's right there's gonna be a tesla rental and you're gonna bring it back and they can just beg yeah it was this guy yeah 90 seconds ago so why don't you correct him why you wait for me to correct it i just said the same thing he said 10 seconds ago i said it better why are you upset for me to correct it? I just said the same thing he said fucking 10 seconds ago. I said it better. He was just beating me.

Why are you upset that I repeated you and not him, you piece of shit? You were beating me. You were acting like it was brand new information. No, I said yeah, and I repeated him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why couldn't you say it more impactful? Thank you. He's mad you gave me the credit for it.

Thank you. You should have said that shit more impactful. I used it. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Meek explanation. Corny ass explanation. Al said that shit was his chest. Yeah.

So what do you think? The only thing, if it was like maybe a Turo situation where... Oh, you're renting someone's actual car. Yeah, it feels like that. It's still connected to someone. But you would never do it.

And you still got to give all your insurance. Yeah. You're still fucked. Wouldn't you have to give all your insurance? Yeah. That's a great point, Andrew. Yeah, yeah. You'd still find out because you have to give all your insurance? Yeah. That's a great point, Andrew. Yeah, yeah. You'd still find out because you have to give the insurance.

Wait, how would you find out, though? Because the insurance, you have to give it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You have to give your insurance? You got to give your insurance. Fuck, dude. I did not know that. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second

because I got to make sure your dicks get hard and you can't just sit at home staring at me all day. So you're going to have to do something yourself. I might Sharon Stone you right there. Do you see that shit? Watch out. Fucking labia popped. I had labia.

You don't have testicular labia much. Yeah. Don't tell me what I have or what I don't have. That's what that vein is. It's a labia. It is. I got a lot of shit down there. I got baricosity and i got shit to get you bricked now i also have something else to tell you about and it's the chew okay same active ingredient that's inside cialis or viagra

i'm telling you this is the guaranteed back breaker okay the pile driver the undertaker okay the girls can be laying on the bed mouth gaped what saliva everywhere do you know what i mean come on babe let's shower oh i need a minute i need a minute yes you do you need that minute after the blue chew that's a fact they need 67 60 second recovery after the chew okay so just give her that minute go grab a little towel if the cum is pulling up on her belly and shit like that just make sure it doesn't get on the sheets because you don't want to sleep in your own cum. It gets sticky and disgusting.

What I'm trying to say is bluechew.com. Okay? Use the promo code flagrant. You're going to get your first month of breaking your girl's back for free and she's laying on a bed comatose for one minute. What? Drool everywhere. Cum on her belly pooled up.

Okay. That's good for free you just gotta pay five dollars shipping for that ladies you deserve it you deserve what i just described don't act like you don't want it sounds bad no it's good you never seen it like um uh you never seen like a like a alpaca that doesn't have control of their lower jaw you've never seen that she's comatose in the bed with drool everywhere for 60 seconds it's pure pleasure okay yeah it's just like she got hit you know with um vikinin okay that sounds bad well just think of the alpaca that doesn't have control of the lower jaw just slack like that

come pulling up in the belly babe can you just make sure it doesn't get in the sheet and you're just scooping your own cum just going like that okay make sure you do it all i'm trying to say you you can have that for free all you gotta do is pay five dollars when you go to bluetooth.com okay file our shipping you have a free file our shipping bluetooth.com okay make sure you use the promo code flagrant and give your wife what she needs give your girl what she needs give your side chick what she needs give the girl that you're about to see this wife what she needs. Give your girl what she needs. Give your side chick what she needs. Give the girl that you're about to see this weekend what she needs. On a group chat with all her friends. Oh, shit, I'm comatose.

What? I'm comatose, yo. Real talk. For 60 seconds, mind you. Not really comatose. They're not really passed out. They're aware of everything. They just got to gather themselves after the euphoric feeling.

There's so much euphoria. I got to figure out what just happened. Pussy blistered. Yeah. Pussy blistered. Pussy blistered yeah let's start yeah it is what it is so that's that's just the reality it's gonna be crazy it's gonna be absolutely crazy what you're gonna do your girl gonna start growing armpit hair she's gonna start growing armpit hair afterwards where can they find where can they find bluechew.com you want your girl to grow armpit hair from fucking her so good? So sick. All right. Bluechew.com.

Bluechew.com. Make sure you use the promo code FLAGRANT. And you got to pay $5 shipping and you get the first month for free. How else do you want me to tell you? All right. That's it. Can we get back to the show? Yes.

Thank you. All right. If we must. Yeah. Let's get back to the show. Okay. What else we got? My boy. Vital vitalik the guy that created ethereum oh yeah got posted on the front of time i'm gonna fucking need some carbs i got too skinny he looked like the pianist actually yeah being honest about it real talk old machinist ass looking ass man posted on the cover of time here i'll pull up the actual cover but basically everyone just started trolling him

calling him uh tom brady how is that trolling him that's the biggest compliment he's ever gotten in his life it's not just tom brady they're like you look like tom brady with aids tom brady with zika maybe i mean low-key he does look like tom brady with aids he looks like zika tom brady yeah yo son this is crazy dude like people were trolling him heavy and they were just like you like tom brady on dialysis like going off oh my god bro he does look like tom brady with AIDS philadelphia yeah and then this is like all like the tweets like i've never seen someone deserving of being shoved in a locker like clone tom brady locked him in his basement all this shit uh if tom brady was on dog food is it possible to be this rich

and still be this ugly get a transplant or a wardrobe that's just mean crazy and then cruel he screenshots all these and then shares them and says the quote tweets on the new time article about me are truly amazing these are barely even cherry picked it's pretty much one piece of awesome content after another highly recommend scrolling and then he goes on to say i don't even know who tom brady is i oh shut up i had to ask people around me my best guess is that he was an actor from mission impossible they he thought it was tom cruise oh that's cat this is him trying to get on top of it. That shit killed him. He's not from America. Bless you. This is him trying to

doing, what is it, owning it? You look like Tom Brady. Who? Is that? He knows who the fuck it is. He tried to own everybody making fun of him by retweeting it, but then his ego still wouldn't allow it to happen, so he goes, well, I don't even know who Tom Brady is. Motherfucker, you know who Tom Brady is.

Yeah, yeah. You know exactly who Tom Brady is. That's a good reason. Get the fuck out of here. But then Tom Brady responded and said, what's up, Vitalik? You may not know me, but just want to say I'm a big fan of yours. Thank you for everything you've built in the world of crypto. That's why Tom Brady's the goat, dude.

Tom Brady's the fucking goat. Otherwise, autograph his crypto NFT company wouldn't have been possible. Hope I get to meet you someday you're the goat wow he's so smart dude high praise what's the best way to play that if you're tom brady and you're already the alpha of the situation yeah just be humble yeah no even if he's fake humble he's doing it to make money he goes yo thank you so much vitalik on these viral there's humility yeah but he went the humble way of course and then goes yo also check out autograph if i'm vitalik i repost every single one of them and i just do crying emojis that's it you don't have to do

anymore i don't even know who tom brady is or just be like oh my god i look like tom brady that's it yeah done he might not even if you didn't know you don't say it you know who tom brady yeah like he's caught in this bubble where he's like, and everybody in that bubble is going, oh, my God, you're a genius. You created this world-changing technology. You are truly the chosen one of crypto. And he's doing this Time Magazine thing where he gets to feel like he is. And finally, he's going to get all this mainstream love and support. He's not going to be this little weirdo that does get shoved into lockers.

He's not going to be this weirdo that's going to be ignored by women constantly. He's not going to be this little weirdo. And get shoved into lockers not gonna be this weirdo that's gonna be ignored by women constantly he's not gonna be this little weirdo and then the internet was like you're a weirdo football is just so american it's like he lives in america yeah i know now but like how long you need to live in america to not know about tom brady in america i actually don't know yes he got the peter teal grant that's what he used it for to build ethereum yeah sick i didn't know he actually was in America. I didn't know he was in Russia. He's here and he ain't in Russia. That's a fact. But who's like the biggest cricket player?

I don't know. If people said I look like the biggest cricket player I'd be like We don't need to know. It's the third world. They have to know about us. We don't have to know about them.

I'm being serious. They play it in England. Everyone knows who LeBron James is. Everyone knows who Tom Brady is. I think basketball is bigger than football. Glo brady is bigger than football that's probably true like this guy exists on the internet we know who ronaldo is yeah i mean soccer is a global sport is it is not here though not here but it's big it's bigger here than i think football is yeah but fucking this is this is the globe all right yeah everything else is like yeah but like islands i don't expect them to know tom brady in russia say again i don't expect them to know tom brady in russia they know tom brady no tom brady in

russia i guarantee he's on advertisements in russia yeah but if you're a dude that's creating literally shut up mark you're on reddit he already memes. I don't know if he does. He lives here. He lives here. Where? He lives in Miami. He lives in Miami or Silicon Valley. San Fran. 100%. That's where he got that. Absolutely. Okay.

No, he lives in Toronto. Say again? He lives in Toronto. Then you know who Tom Brady is. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, God. Even if he doesn't, he then finds out that he didn't know who he was. And he goes, oh, this is the greatest football player ever. That's my point.

He doesn't have to say it. Exactly. But he said it because his ego is hurt. That's probably true. Because he knows deep down that he's a nerd. But he's insulated with all these compliments. So he stops thinking he is one. And all these bitches are around and they're

like, Oh my God, we love you. We love crypto because you're a billionaire. No, this is what it is. You're AIDS. Tom Brady,

you're AIDS. You look like AIDS. He does. Okay. But he can fix that. He can eat and he's choosing not to do it. And that's what bothers me. Bezos glowed up.

And so do Elon. Yeah. And it's not even glow up do you like pasta enjoy it i'm trying to glow down okay i done glowed up too much you look good on the shirt with the shirt yeah you look fire all i'm saying is this kid all he has to do is drink diet coke drink coke have a slurpee have ice cream literally enjoy life all he has to do is enjoy life and he'll look like fucking Tom Brady. He'll look like one of the greatest white men in history.

I agree with that. He's a milkshake away from looking like one of the greatest white men in history. I agree with that. Maybe the greatest. Real talk, get on TB12, the avocado ice cream, do whatever the fuck you gotta do. Come on, bro. Tom Brady, greatest white man ever. Ever? Ever.

Okay. Jesus is white? No. Ever? Ever. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. Jesus is white? No. Nah, he's not. Okay. Okay. I don't know.

Name a better white guy. Name one. George Washington. No. No, he owns slaves. Owns slaves. Tom Brady's probably better. You don't know that.

Yeah, we did. It's probably his bitch wife not want to do nothing okay but he still had it happening abraham lincoln who's showing more black people the promised land tom brady abraham lincoln i say tom brady abraham lincoln son abraham got taken out so i'm like it's corny yeah yeah yeah yeah it's interesting tom brady still got some time though Yeah, he got sacked. It's interesting. Tom Brady still got some time, though.

Jeez. Okay. He does, technically. Technically speaking. You're right, you're right. Speaking technically here. Okay. Yeah, I think Abraham Lincoln. Speaking of sports,

we want to get into the Sean Watson trade. Yeah, break this down, Akash. So, Deshaun Watson got accused of basically rape by 21 women. Not rape. So, what he would do is he would hit up masseuses and ask for massages. Why wouldn't you believe him? I say accused of. Yeah, I know. He didn't allegedly get accused yeah he got accused of but clarify rape like asking a masseuse to finish you off when he would so he would set it up like it's like you think you at the spot bro like no no hold on he would set it up as if it's a legit massage he wouldn't go

to a rub and tug spot right Then he would. There's legit? I mean, yeah. There's legit massages? Yeah. Come on. What? You don't think they're an offer away? Any massage?

Any massage. No. Any massage is a rub and tug. You get into the biz, you know what it is. Any massage is a rub and tug. Bullshit. If you're going to a physical therapist, you get a massage like this. It's different. Physical therapist is different.

If you only do massage. One of the accusations is he took the girl's head and made it like a thing. He took the girl's head and did what? Forced it down his dick. Massaged it? Forced it down. He's like, yo, I got you. I got you.

You know what I'm saying? That's crazy. Yeah. So there's accusations that it's like rape. Yeah. And he was acquitted on criminal charges, but still 21 accusations is a lot. It's a lot of accusations.

And the NFL is trying to act like they give a fuck about PR and we, you know, good citizens on our teams and whatever. Houston said, he's not going to play for us, which is originally his original team. Yeah. So they said,

we'll trade him. And then the Cleveland Browns who have a quarterback, who's not good, but he's not bad. Uh, they said, we'll give you a shitload of draft picks and we will give Deshaun Watson the biggest guaranteed contract in NFL history. Five years, $230 million. And the NFL contracts aren't fully guaranteed, hardly ever. His contract is fully guaranteed.

And it is the second biggest contract in history. Second to Patrick Mahomes. And they gave him all his money guaranteed. So his guarantee bigger than Mahomes, bigger than Rodgers, bigger than Brady's ever. I have an inside source that told me that he actually asked for the trade. Deshaun? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, no, he did ask for the trade. Okay. He asked for the trade he didn't want he asked for the trade before all the accusations and some people think houston texans or the texans organization had like spies and then they had spies on him and they had all these accusations they're like drop that shit now and he didn't play all last year see my what i was told is that he asked for it because he ran out of massage parlors in houston okay that's. Okay. That's what my inside source said. So he's like, I got to go to a different town.

So when you say inside source, like they came inside the Palm of his hand? Yeah, 100%. 100%. And I think he's going to Cleveland. Okay. Right? Yeah, he's going to Cleveland. Yeah.

So, I mean, you're a massage therapist in Cleveland, right? Like, you don't want to make an extra $100? He's probably needed. You think therapist in Cleveland, right? Like, you don't want to make an extra $100? You probably need it. You think people in Cleveland are doing that bad? I think massage therapists in Cleveland will jerk off a quarterback for an extra $100. Now, if we want to have a different conversation, shouldn't massages just end like that? Look, here's the thing.

If we're just going to be completely honest. are you relaxing or are you relaxing what that mouth do what are we doing right like why are you assuming there's all women massages say again why are you assuming that it's all women massages? Say again? Why are you assuming it's all women massages? Fellas, call up that jaw,

fam. That's more heteronormative thinking, this guy. Always. Because what's his, Pulp Fiction? What's my man's name

from Pulp Fiction? Bing Rames? Nah, the white guy. Travolta? Travolta used to get his dick suck from every single masseuse. He got damn near ran out ofvolta used to get his dick suck from every single masseuse he got damn near ran

out of hollywood from trying to get his dick suck male and female no male only yeah yeah really that's the best massage what is that a male massage why is that because they're the strongest yeah i don't like strength with my massage i like dick suck okay so yeah like let's jump to it it is the most relaxing thing you want to relax me up jaw but how long is that gonna take though how long is that gonna take honestly it depends on the skill of the masseuse that's a fact that's my point though if you're paying by the hour and all of a sudden it's on, you know, hour 10. I'm not paying by the hour. I'm paying by the dick suck.

You do a 50-minute massage and then she's like, all right, you got 10 minutes. Here we go. Hey, you got to go pick up your kid or something. You got to pick up a couple kids. Guess who took a look at me? But for real, like, if you got somewhere to be, we can make this go quick. If you want to stretch it out, I'm cool with that, too. That's not very reasonable. Like, I don't know know i don't believe that you could just go within 10 second i don't know if you could

just just get it off in 10 minutes i can get off in three minutes two minutes i think i think it's a point of pride for him how quickly he comes actually yeah i can come so fucking fast from a professional know how to lather that shit up hell yeah a lot of foreplay involved you know i mean rubbing you down getting it all nice and hard yo i don't even need that zip pull it out like that's it we out of here like i don't even need to go on the fucking massage table leave that shit for your next guest you're a great massage client like you don't even need the full hour fam you'll pay for the full hour i'm paying for the the nut yeah exactly how long you want me to now here's the

thing some of these massage therapists they like to suck a dude's dick ah they love it okay so i'm taking away their time what do you mean and they're like yo tell me when you're about to nut because i stop so that i could do it longer, so I can suck on your dick for longer. You know what I mean? That's their favorite part of their day. They just got to edge you for a whole hour. Hell yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, that's facts. Yeah, I don't know. This is absolutely horrible. Here's my feeling. These NFL teams do crazy research, right? Yeah, they're willing to overlook a lot if you're good. And he's good. 100%.

They are willing to overlook. Do we feel like they'd be willing to overlook, well, I guess the Steelers. I talked to a man. I was talking to one guy who used to be in the league. Not anymore, but he was like, he did that shit. Real? Did what?

He did. Whatever he's accused of, he did that shit. And he was like, now he, again, he's not like close to him or whatever, but he's like, you don't, he's accused of he did this shit and he was like bay now he again he's not like close to him or whatever but he's like you don't he's not he's not a kind of republican about the shit he's like you don't get that many accusations and not do this shit whether smoke there's fire yeah i guess what i'm i there's no doubt in my mind that he's asked girls to finish him off after a massage yeah there's no doubt in my mind the question is is that abnormal and for the profession i knew a girl that uh was a masseuse and then literal clients would offer all the time

and she was just like no i don't do that it's not like that kind of massage so like i think this is a quite normal thing no no? Yeah. Asking, I think, is normal. Grabbing a girl's fucking head is disgusting. Yeah. Put him in jail. Yeah. Right? But asking? Asking, no.

Hey, listen, you're allowed to ask. Yeah. For things in life. Taking the wrist delicately. No, no, no, no, no, no. Placing it on your cock. I think once it becomes physical, it might be illegal. Taking the wrist delicately.

Not a grab of the wrist. A delicate, a pick up like that. Like you're going to pick up a piece of nigiri. What? Like that. No. What? You go like this and then just blah, blah.

Get that wasabi out. Yeah. No? You think that's crazy? I think you got to ask before the massage starts. But that's not how the game works, fam. Do you think her massaging you turns her on? And she's like, ah, I got to suck a stick now.

Absolutely. Yeah. Especially when I'm all bricky, I got to suck a stick now. Absolutely. Yeah. Especially when I'm all bricky. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah. You boys pitching.

You know what I mean? That towel starts to pop up. You know what time it is? Ooh. I make ghost sounds. I'll be like, ooh. Ooh. Like, what's that?

It's the ghost. Look under the sheets. The ghost of keeve it's about to be an explosion okay can we talk about kanye getting kicked off the grammy's and off instagram back to back that grammy shit is so stupid so stupid dude we're gonna kick the musician out of the grammy's in favor of the comedian what's what's not real but what's the point of of award shows anymore like i thought the award shows it was twofold it was like one like validating these artists but the other was

like exposing them so you know you get you win best picture or something like that maybe best picture isn't the big action movie everybody knows about how do you switch i'm saying grammy's oscars don't matter like do we need any of them like Grammys, like the person that wins best album, maybe it was Beck back in the day. And then maybe there's a lot of like casuals who I don't know who the fuck Beck is, but I got to check out his music. He just won best Grammy, whatever, or best artist. So I'm just like, now that we have the internet, we know everything.

Everything's easily accessible. We have all these playlists and all this other shit where songs are popping up. Do we really need these fucking shows anymore? It's almost like the talent shows or the festivals for comedy. We don't need a New Faces anymore. The internet is New Faces. All of these things are the old school, like old power brokers or whatever, just clinging on to whatever relevance they think they have left.

And they don't. That's why they still have a Grammy. So like establishment artists who were famous from 1998 on can feel like oh we're still look how relevant we still are nobody cares ratings are slipping every year nobody gives a fuck you're not relevant anymore none of this is relevant but it's a nice formality that makes them feel important again i get to walk a red carpet and pretend i care about poor people while they're fucking behind fences. You know what I mean?

It's like a, it's all dog and pony show for them. And they're going to cling on to it because they love that. They love that. And to be honest, Kanye probably loves that. Yeah. And it's probably killing him that he's not there. Ooh. Do you think he changes his behavior because of that?

No, no, nothing will change his behavior. I mean, this is just generating more interest. Yeah. gramby's did this so people tune in you are going to be interested in trevor noah's monologue for the first time oh fuck trevor noah's hosting that's why kanye's left off yeah oh no yeah that's what i'm saying but trevor don't understand ratings dumbass in his defense he did say oh i didn't want him canceled. Cap. I mean, he did too. Cap, you could have made sure it didn't happen. You're hosting the fucking thing.

Cap, he got to say that. I don't know how much leverage the host has. No, but if he's publicly like, yo, let him be there. In his defense, I'm sure the host has some leverage. Yeah. Hey, I don't, because if I'm him, I want the highest rate of Grammys ever. And the guarantee for highest rate of Grammys in the last few years, obviously, before the streaming times, it doesn't count. But like the highest rate of Grammys in the last few is if Kanye is sitting in the front row and Trevor gets to roast Kanye.

Yeah. I would watch that. And if Kanye doesn't show up, he's pussy. He's pussy. Then you prove all this shit right. Oh, you act like you're going to fight this guy, that guy. We could have been within 10 feet of each other. And then Kanye wins and then he gets to roast back yeah bro this is a no-brainer

these people don't understand it but then the grammy's like oh are we platforming someone that's a domestic abuser yes they are they're the same people that gave michael jackson uh r kelly every one of these motherfuckers grammys non-stop every rapper talking about killing this person that person the fucking dixie chicks talking about murdering people every single fucking album grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas, grandmas It's just the chicks. No, it's just the chicks. All I'm trying to say is stop acting like you give a flying fuck. Get out of here. Stop it. Cut the crap. And Trevor Noah should have fought for Kanye to be there and just lit his ass up.

When is the Grammys? Do you know? No clue. I think they pull a move where it's like, oh, now come back. And Kanye already has this crazy performance already planned out. I think it's a whole big spectacle. Oh they gotta they gotta crash the grandmas because he's nominated for i think four or five grammys is there a video of him like peeing on a grammy back in the day too though that's in rap we gotta do by the way that's canceled but coachella's in two weeks

or three weeks i'm curious to see how he y'all should not go to coachella and come to see the infamous tour radio city musical oh shit april 16th yeah i mean i'm gonna be fired gang you know that kanye is not gonna show up at coachella he might show up i mean there's a there's a petition to have him not show up they got 23 000 signatures really yeah but prove you bought a ticket yeah the petition thing is like so weird to me yeah all right there's a sign like everyone signed up globally yeah petitions are the dumbest shit 20 000 people globally that seems like no one that almost seems like the opposite is working i'm like yeah i guess a lot of people want connie all right can you talk about this dude that came to new york that got shot over his uh his richard

mill imagine getting shot over a disgusting richard mill watch just like getting shot off of a patek or a rolex ap or something like that it's like at least you're wearing something absolutely beautiful and desired right yeah the guy shot him and didn't even take the watch that's how you know i'm pretty sure he has the watch still right well i don't i thought he stole it i thought that was the point oh Oh, I thought he shot him for wearing it. He's like, you fucking idiot. And then just shot him. I thought he deserved it when it was a Richard Mille. That's

probably God. You're going to waste $200,000 on this and then boom, shot him. Why do you hate Richard Mille? You guys are haters. What happened? They're monstrosities of watches. They're like the NFTs of watches. You guys just get watches like two years ago now

we're experts we're experts in everything we do hey i'm i'm obsessed with that fucking watch you got on right now yeah that ap right there that's a fucking watch dog pull up do something about it pussy i'm trying to get one of those pull up in the gat then yeah what about this richard bill what about drake roger this one oh That's disgusting. What the hell is happening? Yuck. Why is it so busy? It's busy. That's like one of my old t-shirts.

Watches are watches, bro. It's all just a game that you guys convince yourself where, like, oh, these are worth something. Really? Is that coming from you, sneakerhead? I bought them. we all buy them. Okay, there we go. Same thing as Bitcoin, same thing as all this shit.

Wow, then really just you fucked your own argument completely. No, it's all bullshit, bro. So this is the bullshit? Yeah, life is bullshit. Yeah, I know. But I mean, for the fact that you're knocking that watch. Dalai Lama over here. I'm saying objectively that watch is ugly.

It's disgusting. It's a disgusting watch. I think theyama over here. I'm saying objectively that watch is ugly. They're pretty watches. It's a disgusting watch. I think they look alright. Really? It looks like a G-Shock. Yep. Yeah. I can kind of see it.

A G-Shock is fire though. Yeah. A G-Shock is fire for $150. If somebody tried to add $300 to that price, you'd be like, you'll suck my ass. That's the thing. You guys are adding the value to it, but at the end of the day, it looks dope. It don't look dope. That looks dope.

This looks dope. That does look dope. That that looks really dope that is the fucking watch though if he hollered your boy are you i can't wait to the day when you guys have one piece holler at your boy also it's a new company i mean he's getting like a hundred year old you know swiss made watches 50 years but it's fine are you worried about wearing this now in new york now the mad people are just getting jumped for their watches now that you say it i'm worried how are you not thinking there's a few people around we're all gonna get their fucking ass what's gonna happen to you they believe that one i never never no but that watch is mad flashy one day i gotta get a richard boo oh yeah yeah you are you could just be eating your word no interest literally no interest.

I think it's stupid. Every time I see somebody with it, I think it's stupid. I also never see anybody wearing it that I admire. You don't admire Drake? No. Drake could have the worst style of anybody that's successful. Do you really want to dress like Drake? Oh, no.

Drake dresses like a Puerto Rican lesbian. Jeez. He does. He wears just these fucking sweatsuits all the time like his his outfits suck the clothing sucks the sneakers suck nah like his aesthetic isn't there he's listen uh objectively best rapper of our time okay objectively i have to agree and i don't wanna but and i put it over i put him over jay whoa i put him over jay okay i know that sounds crazy and that there's an argument to me in other ways but yeah kids mark's age will definitely the day i was wearing a canada the only reason you're wearing that is because of drake that's true drake made canada cool enough for you to wear that he's wearing the jay-z hat. Yeah. That's what that is.

What came first though? The hat or the... Jay-Z was never wearing a red and white Yankee fit. It was a hat. Never. Yo, low-key, they both dress horrible.

Why do best rappers dress trash? I think they do it intentionally. Jay-Z? Like Eminem. Eminem didn't... Eminem dressed horrible too. His whole thing was on white trash though. And I think that's the thing.

It's like he's more relatable to more people. It's like, hey, he's not the cool guy. So Drake did that same thing. It's like, hey, I don't want to be the cool guy and always be flashy. Oh, shit. Yeah, I think they did the same thing with Jack Harlow. No, Jack is swagged out now. Now he's in Argentina.

Now he's swagged out. I'm just saying I think they used that same ploy to be more relatable to more people. I mean, initially, Jack was lost. I mean, I would still say he's the best dress right now. He's gotten it. He's figured it out now. They got somebody in his corner, and they're pulling the right fits. Okay. But interesting,

if you think Drake does it as like a strategic move. Yeah. Oh. He has all the money in the world. If you want him wanted to get fly he can get fly easily anybody who dresses bad it's intentional who's a rapper that dresses well future okay i have no idea what he dresses like no i think he i was gonna be like oh you got a good point but not that's true future kanye west oh kanye west dress fire there you go watching the whole doc i was like every fit is great son every fit there's a couple fits i'm gonna try to bring back

he legit said after his accident i decided i'm gonna be the best dress rapper ever but he did a lot of people say that yeah i know and then it happened that's it that's where he put everything you know whose dress is cool and it's his own thing but snoop oh like snoop always just looks sick he looks like snoop always he's the coolest rapper period like he just is cool yeah like you don't have pictures of snoop you know there's pictures of jay-z on the jet ski and shit like that yeah where's that for snoop you don't have that for snoop yeah he got the one where he has a little hair tie he looks like a woman but that's fire for snoop he looks fire snoop's in like he can do anything yeah like it's like his whole ethos is cool yeah yeah i know

i would agree you can put shack in any situation and it's just funny and cool it's like his whole ethos is cool yeah i know i would agree you can put shack in any situation and it's just funny and cool it's just everything's shack because yeah he's so the room fits i feel like shack is more goofy but it's still just i love that everything he does is lovable he could do anything he dresses the cops funny yeah he's a genie hilarious like yeah he's a dj do you see him dj now yeah and over the weekend the people brought the basketball hoop to the actual and he made it and then he literally cuts the music off guys i made it and just keeps on playing music legends he's a legend okay guys listen we have to we have to wrap this episode up um we have to come to a conclusion on everything that we spoke about

today yes and the thing that we open with leah thomas exactly so how do we spoke about today. Yes. And the thing that we open with, Leah Thomas. Exactly. So how do we feel about me joining the U.S. Women's National Swim Team? I support you wholeheartedly. I don't think you'll be able to. I'm on board. I'd like to watch you swim just once back.

Full support. Okay. Thank you. Do you? I am officially resigning from the u.s women's national hey can i tell you something i support you thank you thank you you're never on it you can't resign for something you weren't on i was on it no they never i was on it okay and i'm resigning no this is wait why was it too much of a time coming brady right here i'm resigning so i can spend time with my family wait was it the time commitment that was the issue it was a combination of time commitment uh it was definitely not skill i could have handled it

but the chlorine caused um some um uh fucking a small rash yes sial Sialis. What is it called? Sialis. Psoriasis. I think it's Sialis. It costs Sialis. I was getting bricky in that pool, dude. It was absolutely crazy.

It's hard to swim. It is very hard to swim. It's very, very hard to swim. So, I've been forced to resign and I just want to say thank you to all my teammates.

I want to say thank you to everybody who inspired me. I want to say thank you to Leah Thomas. I want to say thank you to all my teammates. I want to say thank you to everybody who inspired me. I want to say thank you to... Leah Thomas. I want to say thank you to Leah Thomas. Yeah. And I want to apologize because I won't be able to build up that war chest

that I was going to build up for Ukraine. You had a nice little chest going on earlier. Big old chest. Okay? And I won't be able to do that, and I apologize, and we'll try to find another way where we can help the war effort, where we can help

all these different groups that are doing everything they can to help different oppressed people. Let's send them guns. We're going to think about that. Maybe in a suitcase. Ask Israel. No, if Israel's not going to send them, I bet you we can just find some guns around the city.

Maybe just round them up somehow. That's probably true. And then we can put them in a suitcase and mail them over. Remember that movie War Dogs? Yeah. How easy it was for Jonah Hill and fuckinganning tatum or whoever else was in it to just that's 21 teller street but yeah oh yeah let's just buy a bunch of guns we can go to a gun show everyone can buy 10 guns and then we just put them in in some type of shipping container and then send them to it can't be that hard to move guns right just move the guns and if they ask you have anything to declare you say no i don't have any guns and you just go over there i think that's a great idea guys there might not

be a pod next week but there will be an end to this war yeah thank you so much for tuning in this has been flagrant 2 see you soon peace