Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Reacts: Colbert’s Cringey Late Night Vaccine Segment

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

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What up people, Shultz here, and you guys are about to listen to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode. If you want to sign up to our Patreon, support the flagrancy, support what we are doing, completely uncensored, flagrant content, you go to patreon.com slash flagrant2. With no more interruptions, here is the exclusive clip. Can somebody explain this video of Stephen Colbert doing this? My God, dude. There has to be context to this that we don't understand. We're only seeing a minute and four second clip of this video. We can even play it right now.

Let's play it. Let's play it. But there has to be some more context to this. There's no way that they just agreed to do it because there's nothing funny about it right oh you think he's concerned about being funny it's a good point it's a great point uh but there's no even attempt at humor right so it's like what is going on here i don't even understand the purpose are they just promoting getting the vaccine are they making fun of the attempts that the government i think we should watch and then talk. Okay.

Let's watch like 30 seconds. We don't have to watch the full thing. So let's find out the way the vaccine is changing the scene in our new recurring segment, The Vac Scene. What happened to him? He looks so bad. Longer. Longer. Stall.

Why the can, can you ask? I asked that myself. The answer, public domain. It's the answer to most things really the vaccine so this is a compilation yeah so if you scroll you'll see the uh the actual dance that's where so i think this is like a recurring thing they do where they talk about the vaccine but like instead of the vaccine yeah yeah ah they talk about the vaccine, but instead of... The vaccine! Yeah. Ah!

They talk about things related to the vaccine, and this is the segment. Pause. So this is happening over multiple nights. Yes. Over weeks. They have a recurring segment called The Vaccine, and they're being self-deprecating about this. They're being a little meta.

They're like, okay, we have this stupid dance that we know is kind of dumb. That has to be in the public domain because legally we can't use any other song. Right. That's what public domain is. And then, but he was doing it in the chair before. He was like, let's just have the stupidest sounding song that leads into it. The stupidest sounding jingle. Right.

And he says, even in the first one, okay, let's stretch it out. And now they're doing this to make fun of their own jingle. Okay. The way it was their own jingle. Okay. The way it was positioned. Yeah, but they're making fun of themselves and how ridiculous it is that they have a vaccine jingle for their vaccine segment. And then this piece was removed from the episode, posted on Twitter, and it looked like they're just trying to be funny with this piece instead of making fun of the fact that they have a jingle for their vaccine segment. Completely reasonable to have a vaccine segment on a, you know, a daily night show or whatever, because obviously there's going to be news and jokes about the vaccine every single day. People refusing to get it, people wanting to get it, et cetera. This isn't as bad now that I see it. And so go back like 30 seconds maybe just to see the intro for this specific

segment. Because I'm curious if he sets it up any differently. No, they just hop right into it. it's still so bad yeah but it's less cringing the purpose of it is to be bad yeah but it's still accomplishing the goal yeah yeah there's no question there's ways to make this funnier even if you're purposely being cringe about it but that is what they're trying to do yeah and now that i know that that's the objective, it's not as bad. Yeah, it's not as bad. So I watched, I didn't watch this compilation, but I watched one full before.

This woman died of corona, by the way. Completely dead. I didn't know that. Yeah. It was in a car crash, but they called it corona because she had corona. Oh, dead. Yeah, yeah. You know how things work.

Vaccine! Yeah, it's kind of fun. So did he say anything at the end? All right, that's our segment. Thank you. And they said it couldn't get any longer. Yeah, so they're playing into this thing that they did. They're making fun of themselves they're

purposely being cringy so but of course you know right wing twitter is going to take it and go look how stupid these late night guys are and they are stupid and the shows aren't funny yeah and the jokes on the one that i saw were terrible yeah they already have the bad jokes and it's just not entertaining to watch yeah and you can even see by the crowd i mean there was a woman there that literally had, you know, six degree fucking cancer and she's there with her head wrapped up. She's 200 years old.

Like, that's the audience, right? But what's interesting is they're trying to be cringey and then the right wing media outlets are going, look how cringey they are. That's the goal, stupid. I wonder how many of the viewers are recurring. Like, probably a big majority, right?

What is that? Like, they watch every episode. Like, the viewers of their show get the running gas yeah yeah because they don't know how to change the channel a lot of these old people are just in the home and they're locked in the chair yeah right so they don't know how to do anything fully immobilized yeah they're used to the channel changer they still got the tvs that you have to walk you have to spin it yeah but then they got to get up and that's a lot lot of effort. They're not getting up. This is too much, okay? They're shitting in a fucking bag. They're 300.

And they're watching their Colbert at night. But I don't think that this is that bad, and I think the media outrage is unfair. Yeah. They're trying to make it stupid. They're going, hey, remember that jingle, how long it was? Let's make it longer. And then they actually did. They're just heightening the stupidity of their own gag.

Fine. I'm okay with it. It's not cringy, but it makes it less cringy. It's not cringy because the goal is cringe. did yeah they're just heightening the stupidity of their own gag yeah fine it doesn't make it not cringy but it makes it less cringy it's it's not cringy because the goal is cringe yeah right how can we make this the cringiest stupidest thing ever a choreographed dance guys dressed up as vaccine needles dancing around the crowd this is the dumbest possible thing we've been doing this for a few weeks the audience already knows they're gonna laugh at this because of how fucking ridiculous it is this is not as it was positioned on twitter hey this is how we'll get america to get vaccinated yeah that's what it looked like as vaccine promo like the government like biden was hitting up colbert like yo do us a favor can

you do this little choreographed dance that's what it's gonna get people to actually get vaccinated yeah which is not the goal they're making fun fun of themselves. This is not as bad as people think. Not as bad as people think. Yeah, no, that's fair. I'm okay with this. I still hate Colbert. And I still think he sucks. Oh, come on.

It's not as bad. Come on. The only reason why we're very critical of Colbert is because we know what he's capable of. Yeah, well, I watched his Bill Burr interview where he just fucking stonewalled, he just stone-faced Bill Burr the whole time. And ever since then, I've hated him. Oh, well, I watched his Bill Burr interview where he just fucking stonewalled, he just stone-faced Bill Burr the whole time. And ever since then, I've hated him.

Oh, okay. He just gave Bill Burr nothing. And he just looked at Bill Burr in a way that makes Bill Burr look like an actual crazy person. Yeah. And it's like, bro, he's on your talk show. You know what you're doing.

Yeah. And Bill Burr, when they shake hands at the end, they lean in and talk, Bill Burr shook his hand and then just looked off the other way. He's like, I'm not talking to this motherfucker. He was livid. You could tell he was livid. Now I'm curious about context with that i'm like what if that was

a bit what that was no bill burr didn't look happy at the end he was just like yeah okay yeah i remember watching it and he seemed frustrated yeah because it conan gets bill burr say what you want to about conan and sometimes he might try to be too funny but he lets his guests fucking shine conan does this. He goes, he goes, Bill, that's crazy. That's ridiculous. Some people are going to think you're crazy. He acknowledges that what he's saying is wrong, so that he's fine. The audience actually

can laugh now because it's been acknowledged, but then you let him roll, and you smile, and you laugh. Colbert was just looking at him straight on, deadpan. He was like, and that bothers you. It's like, how can I be funny with this be funny with yeah i'm a comedian i thought we're coming here to do jokes and your whole you're an improv guy it's all yes and yeah that's the whole point of your stupid fucking and you hit him with a no dumbass yeah and you just know it him the whole time yeah yeah you can straight man just don't like stonewall yeah yeah yeah straight man is actually

fun straight man that's what you want you want the host to play straight man yeah and then just think you're the most ridiculous person ever exactly serving softballs um all right guys we're gonna take a break from this exclusive patreon clip you can find the full episode at patreon.com slash flagrant 2 but right now tom brady is returning to new england for the biggest game of the year and the stakes have never been higher at my bookie. Okay. Whether you're back in the Bucks or the Pats this Sunday, the game is always more exciting when you got some money on it.

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Make sure you use the promo code FLAGRANT. Now let's get back to this exclusive Patreon. But yeah, I think that's the most disappointing thing about Colbert. And listen, I get it. Like you said, you said you're going to sell out a certain amount of money. He found the amount of money that he wants to sell out at. But you haven't sold out yet so you're like, fuck sellouts. Yes, 100%.

But then once you're there, you're going to be like, I get it! I get it! You're going to be staring at me during the podcast like, no, that's ridiculous. I don't see why you would take a rhinoceros from South Sudan. I think that's interesting. Diana was a reasonable woman. Yeah, yeah. Why would you say something like that?

You can see my sitcom on ABC. I'm going to be replaced by that fucking outfit every week. But I think that is the frustration with a guy like Colbert. And maybe there's a lot of people listening right now that never got to see the Colbert show, never got to see his work on The Daily Show. Like, truly, like, one of the funniest people in America. There was probably, I don't know, maybe a five-year period where he was doing this every single night. I don't know how long the show went on for, but he was hysterical.

Like, he was absolutely fucking hysterical. Yeah. And he was the straight man, kind of, in his own crazy way. He would be like, he would play it in a very funny way. He was a character. He played a character. But in interviews when he would interview crazy people, he would straight man in a very funny way pretty muted character he played a character but he played the character when he interviewed crazy people he would be he would straight man it perfectly yeah and then you see this version of him and you're like oh you made that choice yeah

you made that choice to make the money and then sell out being funny for it because you know what it takes to be funny because we've seen you be funny so you know it's not funny right so you're making the choice to be not funny for the financial gain and maybe he's changed emotionally maybe he's evolved maybe his politics have even changed maybe he truly really believes in the stuff that he's doing now but when you see what somebody's capable of and then what they're doing you're like yeah this ain't it fam this ain't it you chose the bread over the art which is okay i get it i get why people that. But you also have to understand the criticism that comes with it, especially from comics who love comedy. Yeah.

We love it. And we gave the, what do they do? The improv guy a pass. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, none of us really respects improv guys. Not at all. We respect actors.

A lot of actors were improv guys. They make way better actors than we do. So we respect comedic actors. But, like, just improv? I like the Who's line, guys. Nah. Really? Son, that guy that was in Office.

It's your line. I don't know. That guy that was in Office. Whose line is it? I don't care whose line it is. No, the show is fine. Give me a scenario. You didn't like the show?

No. Talk about what you care. No, I didn't like the show. The idea of improv is like the exact opposite of everything that I care about with comedy. It's like... I like improv. Bring up something that none of us care i care about with comedy it's like i like it bro bring up something that none of us care about and we'll make it funny and i'm like fuck that hey make this styrofoam thing funny all right i need to know something i can i am curious about you yeah

and why you dress that way look that way act that way why you're in a bad mood why you're in a good mood why you smile so I need to feel something not plastic cups yeah well podcasting is there's some improv going on right now of course we're improv-ing

the whole time so I'm saying a comedian improv-ing on stage is funny but I used to watch Whose Line as a kid and I'm not saying I would straight face it

the whole time or anything but I remember people really loved it and I'd dead ass I'd be like I don't find this as funny as everybody else something wrong with me like do i not understand what funny is let me say there's two different things there's improv the structured form of comedy yes and there's also just improvving improvising yeah improvising which is what

we're doing on a podcast okay what you know i'll do on stage a lot a lot of people exactly so i know people looking at me like bro you're fucking ridiculous you improv on stage a lot a lot of people exactly so i know people looking at me like bro you're fucking ridiculous you're improv on stage all the time i love it i love that live in the moment interaction uh but the structure of like okay take this line you have to say this word you're on a boat and you don't realize that your girlfriend's actually your brother okay i get it now right like that's what they do they just here's the game your girlfriend's really your brother go yeah you're like hey sis i just like i just like the part they set up a scene but then random things you took an improv class and you have to

like like freestyle if you took an improv class you'd be so much less impressed because you'd be like oh this is actually incredibly structured the mechanisms are extremely yeah there's just rules you follow and then it's right there and the tools are great just do them about things you care about my biggest issue is just the fact that we don't care about it at all like i don't want to talk about things i don't care about ever i don't like small talk i don't know how to do it really i i can literally care about a fucking sneaker and talk to you about it for an hour if i care about it but i don't know how to just do the okay here's a hypothetical do you know what i mean like remember we were in the green room with your boys you guys came in you guys were like doing like

improv games and i just had to stop it and i was like what's happening here yeah oh my god we're in like orlando and like he had a couple buddies like they were in the green room yeah that's when it was all the little they're really sweet kids they were younger they were sweet kids they're like you're like yeah, your shirt's totally there. Yeah, yeah. I'm going out here and I have my shirts. I have holes in my shirt.

It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to fight in a war. I got shot a lot and my shirt's got holes and I was just like, yo, yo, yo, what's going on? What is happening right now?

He just said that. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. That's funny. I just tuned that the fuck out. I was just like, oh, white people talking. I don't know what's going on. I was truly confused as to what was happening. I just tuned them the fuck out. I was just like, white people talking. I don't know what's going on.

I was truly confused as to what was happening. I was like, are you guys having a real conversation? Like, what the fuck is going on here? No, it wasn't a real conversation. What was it? It's just ping pong. Sometimes him and Miles do that. When they're by themselves, they just keep going back. I'm like, what are you doing? And then he's just like all giggly

and shit. I'm like, yo, shut the fuck up. Maybe I you watch a youtube video that we could discuss today something important okay something substantial i find points of view that are unique funny thoughts about specific shit that's funny that like that's unique that's funny to me this thing where you act out of a scenario that doesn't really exist like i get it i just why are we yeah. Hey, you got some big feet. Yeah, yeah. Pretty big. Yeah.

Walk further in them. What? No, no, no. I was like, what's going on? That was the worst improv I've ever heard. What am I watching? This is the acting thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly. I was just about to say. Acting sucks. So you just hate anything you're not good at. Got it. All right, good. Yeah, of course. No, I is pretty easy, dude.

Dead ass. I took a UC. It's like jujitsu. Are you really, after seeing me on stage for the last year, you think that I would struggle improvising in a scene? After seeing what I do for a living. If you don't care about it. After literally seeing what I do for a living if you don't care about it literally seeing what i do for a living i'm calling you out i'm calling you out bro to be honest

your defensiveness is making me believe out to be honest with you come on create a scene i had one live improv thing i had one live improv thing i remember you talked to me after what did i say about it you said said, improv is easy. You just don't follow the rules. You said, I just don't like yes and and shit like that. Like, I just don't do that. So you're not good at it. I just be funny.

Them rules are for y'all. Yeah. Because y'all don't know how to be funny. It's like the scene in The Office when Michael Scott's got the gun and he just always pulls the gun out. Funny. Funny. They're like, you can't pull a gun out.

He's like, okay, I have something in my pocket. They're like, is it a gun? He's like, yeah. Hilarious. That's what I'm saying, bro. Improv is so trash, and this is what I'm doing. I'm fucking throwing haymakers in this bitch, right? And I'm just getting big pops, and I'm like,

why are all of you around me? What are you offering? I will say, that's what I don't like about improv, is when it has to be so goofy. I don't like that someone else can control my level of goofiness. Okay, let's do an improv scene. Let's go. All of us have taken improv classes.

Al, you took one. No, I never. Yeah, you did. You told me you took one. UCB one time. You fucking liar. No. You fucking liar.

That's an improv class. Yeah, but I like it. So that didn't mean you didn't take it. I don't count it. What do you mean you don't count it? He didn't do anything. It was like the first day when you're just like talking and'd like it. So that didn't mean you didn't take it. I don't count it. What do you mean you don't count it? He didn't do anything. It was like the first day when you're just like talking and shit like that. And then they go over the yes, they, yes, and rules.

You left after the first day? Did you suck a dick once? Does it count or no? No, we said after two. Okay, so you suck a dick once, you didn't like it, it doesn't count. That's crazy you remember that rule. You gay motherfucking dick. Hey, I'm still straight though.

That's back. Okay, go. I only sucked a guy's dick once. Yeah, I've sucked 20 dicks. That's back. Okay, go. I only sucked a guy's dick once. Okay, I've sucked 20 dicks. Set up a scene. All right. He's Googling scenes. This guy can't even improv a scene.

I'm Googling a scene. I want to get the structure of it. He's an improv kid, too. Yeah, I'm a big-time improv kid. All right. Okay. Two people with different ideas try to plan a birthday party for a friend. Okay.

Go. Okay. And then the rules are you have to say yes and yeah yeah no you can't say no you're in it too no it's so easy i said i can do it i said i like it because it's something i don't do yo can you just not be a pussy no no i want to see you flex because you're so nice all right you ready let's go let's go we're playing a birthday party for what? A friend. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. And? Yeah, but you have different ideas about how to plan it. Different ideas about how to plan it. Yeah. Okay. That didn't even make sense. How can you yes and with different ideas?

Yeah, we have to say no. That's the fun of improv. We're disagreeing. Oh, but we have to agree even though we're disagreeing. I don't get it, yo. I swear to God, I don't get it. Yo, just write a joke. These guys are so good, bro.

Exactly. Whose line is it, anyway? Let's do it. Let's do it. These are fucking geniuses out here. Okay. Hey, dude. Okay, let's...

Do you want to add some context to your characters? No. No? No, no. Context is gay. Okay, characters? No. No? No, no. Context is gay. Okay, ready? Okay, ready? Okay, go.

Dude, we got to do something for Brad's birthday. Absolutely. Yes, and. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, and. It's got to be great. Yes, and. And I think that I should have an idea, and I think my idea should be way different than

yours. Yes, and. Yes, and. And yes, and I think I have an idea, too. And it's going to be really different than yours. Yes, yes, yes. But I don't know that we than yours. Yes, and. Yes, and. And yes, and I think I have an idea too. Yeah. And it's going to be really different than yours. Yes, yes. But I don't know that we know that.

Yes, and. Yes. And. Yes. And. Yes, your idea is really good. Hey. Hey.

What's up? I'm your friend. I'm your friend. Oh, yes, you are my gay midget friend. Yeah, you are a gay midget friend. Yeah. Hey, gay midget friend. You're a gay midget friend that says the N-word all the time.

Wait. So how do you usually walk in the room, gay midget friend that says the N-word all the time. Wait. So how do you usually walk in the room, gay midget friend that says the N-word all the time? What do you usually say? The first thing. Neighbors, what's up? Yes, and we are neighbors. We definitely are neighbors. It's my gay midget birthday.

What are we doing? Well, no, you're not Brad. Fuck yes, you are Brad. So Brad, Brad, we have some great ideas for you for your birthday that's great and we do and we definitely do so so akash she had an idea and what was the idea that you were saying uh i was saying we should go to a strip club and then fuck you yes yes improv king yes yes and i'll make your dick look bigger because i'm a midget that's great yeah yes it totally will yeah i and yes and i think we should do that and i also think that

we should go to uh i think we should go to church and i think that we should go to church and i think we should replace uh jesus on the cross with you and see if anybody notices yes what do you think yeah you think that's a good idea? And it's his 32nd birthday, so it's the same age as Jesus. So there you go. Oh, well, he's 33. You know.

But yes. Yes, and that's why I need to go to church. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Don't you think they'll notice that Jesus isn't a midget? Yeah, yes, I do think they will. And I think that'll be the fun thing about church. Yeah, and I think you're breaking the rules of improv.

But no, yes and no. You know it. It's my birthday. You said yes, but. How about yes, but? It's not yes, but. It's yes, and. Okay.

You know what I mean? Yes, and. This is what UCB just went out of business for. I just want to let you know. Yeah, but I laughed once. He got one pop. I didn't get a laugh out of you.

You gave me a semi one. Huzzah. With the king. Yeah. What? You suck. Well, that sounds like taking him to a strip club and fuck him? That was hilarious. Yeah, You gave me a semi one. Huzzah. With the king. Yeah. What? You suck. What, I was going to take him to a strip club and fuck him? That was hilarious.

Yeah, that was good. That was hilarious. That was the biggest laugh. Yeah. No, he had something. Neighbor? Neighbor's name. The neighbor.

Yeah, neighbor. That was a relief laugh. Nah, it was good. You were just happy. I didn't know it was coming. Technically, that's my setup. Wow. I gave the setup.

Assist should be two points. I mean, he could have just said the N-word. That would have been the biggest pop. That would have been the biggest pop. You know who loved improv? Michael Richards loved improv. That's the guy that gets it. And he hits it.

That worked for some people that night. A couple people laughed at that. They were like, he went for it. He's great. I don't think he could have improv. He's fucking Princess Diana. A lot of people looked at him like Princess Diana that night. I don't think he's good at improv, bro.

Nah, you're right. Not with other people. That's my thing. I don't like improv. I don't like you can control me. I did it in college. I took an improv class. Of course you did it in college.

I'd be in a scene and the kid would be like, oh man, aren't you so good at doing the worm? I'm like. Now you gotta fucking do the worm. You're gonna make me do the fucking worm right now? Yes. And then they'd be like, yeah, do it. We're at the party.

Everyone would love it. Yes. No, it's corny. And then a group of all my friends came out to the class. It was like the graduation show. So all my friends came out. They were drunk

and I'm doing the worm in front of them. Could you do the worm? No. Oh, you suck. I'm telling you, if you're an actual remotely funny stand-up, you will be good at it. I took a UCB class once because I thought the industry wanted it.

The teacher pulled me aside after one class and goes, you're really good at this. And then I was like, all right, thanks. She goes, no, no, I'm serious. You're really good at this. I dead-ass never took another class. I was like, this shit sucks. It is a formula. It is the UCB thing.

Once you find the funny, you just keep, it's called the game. We just keep going until we find out what's funny about the scene. And then you just keep hitting that game and you literally do that till someone the director goes stop please enough and then if you've written a joke and you've tagged a joke that's all it is it's take the funny thing and then just beat it to death but and there's five of you it's i have one so you can just keep hitting it however many times also you're not really supposed to say things that are funny yeah then that's my big issue with it you're not supposed to say things that are funny. Yeah. And that's my big issue with it. You're not supposed to say

clever things. You're not supposed to say jokes. If you're saying jokes, you're kind of fucking up the scene. You're ruining the reality of the scene. You're supposed to say things that are serious within this weird reality.

Yeah. And that's why they make such good actors. Because being an actor is not saying something that's funny. It's saying something that's real and serious

in an absurd situation. Will Ferrell believes everything he says. Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover is a perfect improv, detached from reality, saying things completely seriously. Mom, where's my meatloaf? That's only funny if he really believes his mom, even though he's 40 years old, should come into the next room and make a meatloaf. Ricky Bobby has to be like, yo, I'm an actual race car driver. Yes. I'm being serious about racing cars. So. Yeah. I'm being serious about race.

So the goal of it is to not be funny and let the structure in the game and the community be funny. Yes. So when I'm in the improv thing and I'm just thinking like, oh, this would be a really clever thing. Like I laugh really hard. The neighbor thing was really funny.

Yeah. And, and the, uh, I'm going to fuck you. Whatever is funny because that's the funny thing to say. That's the comic thing to say. But in the the scene if it were an actual movie and he said that it would be like what are you doing yeah why are you trying to be funny yeah don't be funny be

serious and then the scene itself is funny and your discomfort is funny and yeah i like saying the funny thing yeah i don't want the scene to get i get it yeah you know what i mean oh okay it's cool and those guys are great actors in whose line the fucking they get the credit. I get it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. It's cool. And those guys are great actors in whose line? The fucking- They're the best. They make the best actors. Lawrence in Office Space? I still laugh at, I'll tell you what I do, man.

Two chicks at the same time. That shit still, I fucking laugh every time I watch that. He's such a good, funny character. Those guys are great characters. Yeah. I would hire improv guys over standups any day of the week. But give me one standup to just finish the line. So it's like all improv guys and then one stand-up that just says the final funny thing in the scene and then we're out of here.

But like when I was doing that Here's Johnny show, it was all improv guys I did it with and they're the best to work with. No ego. They're down to be like the support system. They want to set you up. Yo, you say the funny thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just want the funniest thing for the scene. It's like socialism.

You know what I mean? Like for, you know, comedy, if you will. So it's the best environment to work with, whereas comics, it's like who can have the funniest. Like when we were doing Benders, like it was, everybody was just like, how do I get the line? How do I get the thing? Instead of where's the setup?

Where's the thing? Gotcha. Yeah. But yeah, it just fucking sucks. So we're doing a live show. Improv show. Yeah. Buy your tickets now.