Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Reacts: Drake Puts TABASCO In His Old Condoms?!

Episode Date: January 14, 2022

Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy.

What up people, Shultz here and you guys are about to listen to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode. If you want to sign up to our Patreon, support the flagrancy, support what we are doing, completely uncensored, flagrant content, you go to patreon.com slash flagrant2. With no more interruptions, here is the exclusive clip. Canned tobacco sauce. sauce tobacco sauce what is tobacco sauce like a chew like a dip cup i think chew is tobacco sauce okay tabasco sauce can that kill sperm is tabasco sauce spermicide and do we really think drake put it in i hope he did. You got to explain the story. Okay, so basically what's happened is there was an Instagram thought. This is the huge allegedly, okay? Instagram thought and Drake link up.

Drake puts the smash on, okay? Put a condom on. She described his penis. Seven inches. And thick. And thick. And yo, Drake kind of looked thick, man. I'm not going to lie.

I know, hey. He's a thicker dude yeah he's not he's not skinny adds up he don't look like he got a skinny beard thick beard jason even his head is thick doesn't he have like a wrestler head a little bit he's a kind of thick head yeah like his head kind of looks like one of them um stone sculptures oh like eas like Easter Island? Easter Island. Yes. He's got a little bit of an Easter Island head. He used to look downsy in the beginning.

He had a little downsy. But now he's grew into his down. He's glowed up. He's glowed up. Yeah, he did glow up. And I think he's doing something with the eyebrows

to make it look a little bit less down. Because the eyebrows look like a thatch roof. I remember once I saw ninjas crawling on his eyebrows and they were sneaking in to do something. but it turns out the guy's not downs and he's putting tabasco sauce and condoms which is absolutely fucking brilliant high iq points there very

downsy why that's more hot that was like maybe you know he's on a spectrum see this is the thing that a lot of people are assuming we're assuming he put the Tabasco sauce in there to kill the sperm. But you ever seen like a Mexican with some Cheetos and then they take some? Yeah. He might have been getting like a Latina. Exactly. Like he might have been throwing it in there. Right.

And then that's like a delicious treat. Yeah, exactly. For him or for her? Who knows? Okay. I can see either. Who knows? You don't know what these people are into.

We don't even know what this girl is. If that girl's Latina, there's a chance that she was so drunk, she thought it was a bag of Fritos that had some hot sauce in it, and then she just started pouring it in her pussy. Like the mangoes on the street. Exactly. The mangoes. They put hot sauce on it. 100%.

What's to say that Latinas don't want also to have hot sperm? If Latinos like everything hot, why would they not want some hot sperm as well? Yeah, maybe he's just trying to cook things up for her. You know what I mean? Season the food. 100%. I think that's where Mexicans come from. Hot sperm. If Latinos like everything hot, why would they not want some hot sperm as well? Yeah, maybe he's just trying to cook things up for you, you know what I mean? Season the food. 100%. I think that's where Mexicans come from. Hot sperm. Yeah. I think it's just Tabasco and the pussy. Yes! I think. This is possible.

I'm not positive, though. This is definitely possible. The logic adds up. What's that? The logic adds up. The logic absolutely adds up. Now, do you guys really think that he did that? I want to think that he did that. So I choose to think that he did that. Okay, you're choosing to think it. Al absolutely thinks,

which makes me feel like you might have a little insider information over here. I wouldn't say if I did. This is all allegedly. This is all allegedly. It's just two guys on the spectrum of understanding each other. He might.

He might have tried this before. This guy got 15 abortions. Maybe he does a couple chalulas. Yeah, that's a pre-abortion. I could have saved myself a whole lot of money if I did this shit. God damn. No, but girls were emptying condoms into their pussy that's another level of fame nah girls do that shit emptying condoms into their pussy yes yeah yeah i've heard about this

just can you imagine them with like those huge fake nails trying to undo the condom no you don't undo it you just cut a hole in the top and pour it in there like you're designing a cake oh fuck mark that was pretty good thanks it's great british bake-off but like it really is great british bake-off they just poke a hole in the bottom and then you can write the name or happy birthday on the clip oh my god yeah whoa you can write the name on the top of it like a hostess like a like a cookie that is but that is kind of wild that is kind of wild that you reach a level of fame where you have to destroy your sperm even though it's in a condom and of another question i have is has that ever worked a girl has used the sperm that was in the condom to get themselves

pregnant after the fact i can see it working you got a lot of first episode of ray donovan it's just it's just a bag of sperm bro yeah but it's spermicide in the condom spermicide i wouldn't know about condom that really so how long sperm lasts for bro how long does sperm last for son it's in there swimming? Son, it's in there swimming, bro. Say what? It's in there swimming, dog. It's not out in the atmosphere.

But once it leaves your dick, it's got to have a shelf life of like 10 seconds or something like that. Unless you put it in the freezer and then it can last a long time. Son, I'm saying.

Yeah, but now you're busting right into the freezer. It's a few seconds to a few minutes. And then they take that cup and they put it into a freezer. Yeah. So if you're busting

to the condom, you got a little time. Yeah. I'm saying. You got a good half hour probably wow this could work this could absolutely work yeah i don't think this is my this is my theory i don't think it's real i think that drake is a brilliant marketer and he's like i'm gonna lean into the people believing this is real and i'm gonna fan what is it fan the flame a

little bit and now we're out here talking about it because it's an absolutely phenomenal story and 100 he does have to worry about who he gets pregnant yes yeah so according to this if it's in like a regular room temperature room and it's not like super hot or super cold yeah you could put sperm in a condom and apparently it could last for up to two hours can it last with hot sauce in it google can a sperm last with hot sauce but if it's tabasco so you gotta do some do some fucking heat units yeah but i'm saying tab if it's Tabasco, so you got to do some fucking detective work. Scoville heat units. Yeah, exactly.

But I'm saying Tabasco, probably Tabasco because they got them small bottles you can fit in the pocket. And it's got mad vinegar in it. Vinegar probably kills shit. It's a fucking, it's an antiseptic, I think. So, you know what I mean? That's probably what it was. Now, was the girl Beyonce? Because she has hot sauce in her bag.

Swag. That would be crazy. This is the blackest Drake has ever been. That would be crazy. This is the blackest Drake has ever been. That would be crazy. You hit the line nice. I'll give you that. No disrespect to Jay. But that would be absolutely crazy.

That would be crazy. But you were never worried about this back in the day? What's that? That you maybe have a condom laying around so I could scoop it up? Never worried about that. Not one. Come on, bro. No, I never worried about having a condom laying around. I scoop it up never worried about that not one come on bro no I never worried about having a condom laying around

I just would never use condoms who's using condoms bro I'm getting my dick sucked also Drake and this guy's on MTV

I was on Geico bro I was on Geico girls were trying to lock me down after it mattered so I mean I know that she ain't do nothing for were trying to lock me down, bro. I was on Geico after it mattered. So, I mean, I know that she ain't do nothing for me. No, son.

You came in late, bro. Early Geico, these girls were snatching condoms and trying to dump it into their cooters. For real, man. It was a problem out there, Miles. Go back to your drawings. You want to hear a Reddit thread from nine years ago? Wait, what? It was a Reddit thread from nine years ago the title

is how do you ensure sperm is not stolen from a condom top comment nine years ago tabasco sauce works boom i also read about a case a while back where a guy hot sauced his condom because he suspected his girlfriend was taking them out of the trash trying to get herself pregnant one night after sex she comes into the room crying from pain and tries to charge him with assault how is that so that's the crazy thing about this story that that we need to discuss she's suing him allegedly yeah i don't believe this is real yeah but allegedly she's suing him and that chick over there tried to charge her boyfriend with assault it's like once i nut in that condom first of all isn't that

still my property yeah that's mine that's not shared property You threw it out. So now it's just garbage. It's the city's. She went dumpster diving. She went dumpster diving. Yeah. But then when you dumpster dive or something, if you dumpster dive and then a knife cuts you, you consume me? Yeah.

Hmm. That's a good ass question. You're jumping through the garbage looking for random things? No chance, Lance. You can't do that. Come on now. What if it's your gun and it has your print on it and all that type of shit? You just threw it out.

Don't do the right thing. Isn't that why Krispy K like locks up their donuts why locks up their dumpsters because they throw stuff away and then people eat it and if they get sick they can potentially charge because it's on their property this is interesting here now it's on their property whose property was yours was drake's still on drake's property if you slip and fall drake's house can you sue drake potentially hotel hotel is not nobody's property that's the hilton gotta worry about that yeah that's the marriott property. That's the Hilton. Gotta worry about that. Yeah, that's the Marriott's property. That's the Anatole.

Gotta worry about that. Nope. Everyone that walks into Drake's house signs a release. This is his hotel, though. But this is the hotel. This is a hotel-y. Also, why don't you just put your condoms

somewhere else? All right, guys. We're gonna take a break from this exclusive Patreon clip. You can get the full episode at patreon.com slash flagrant2. But I gotta tell y'all about how to keep your dicks hard matter of fact how to give the best dick of your life and that's

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You're gonna stop up the toilet. That's not supposed to get flushed. It's the Marriott. It's the Hilton, dog. You're not gonna give a fuck about their toilets. So you was doing that at home, too? I flush condoms always. It's the city. He doesn't live on septic. What's the worry? Yeah, there's like so many apartments in my building. Also, I shit four times

a day. It's ready to go. Well, that's different. You gotta throw it in the backyard. Also, I shit four times a day. It's ready to go. Well, that's the difference. You got to throw it in the backyard. I actually knew a person who put so many condoms in the toilet. Oh, did you, Mormon? Oh, I knew a guy. He destroyed the pipes in the house. Really?

Oh, my frog put so many condoms in the toilet. The pipes are destroyed. I want a full day. And then I showed up. And they had to chop down an oak tree. Why do you make yourself a Harry Carrier? They chopped down an oak tree in the front yard because the safety tank had to get removed. Damn, boy. How many columns he was

jerking off in back in the day? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Yo, you gotta tie them before you flush them. If you don't tie them before they flush them, then shit gets fucked up Why would that Yeah why does that Make a difference They get filled with water

And it turns into A real balloon Right That's how you clog The whole thing Bro it's like An artery bro You got all these

Full balloons There's water rushing Through they're expanding And everything gets Blocked up That's why you gotta Tie the knot at the top Not so these sluts

Don't pour it in Our cooter It's really because It will blow up Within the plumbing system No it's not That's why you got to tie the knot at the top. Not so these sluts don't pour it in our cooter. It's really because it will blow up within the plumbing system. No, it's not. Same thing why girls can't put their tampons in there. Wait, why? Because that also blows up.

Y'all never seen a tampon go in water or cranberry juice? Yeah, I guess all the time. On ravels. Or cranberry juice? Yeah, cranberry juice is more like a period. Yeah. She's talking about the commercials from Tampa. Yeah. Okay. I'm like, what? Also, period yeah she's talking about the commercials from Tampa yeah I'm like what

also they use the blue water in the commercials yeah when they use red in the commercials dudes were like yo get this

gross shit on the fucking TV the fuck is going on over here they're buying ocean spray we're watching football dude gets concussed

he's just bleeding out of his nose totally okay that's a gladiator that's a gladiator that's a gladiator a fucking tampon goes into red ink. Disgusting.

Yeah, get that hypothetical whore off my TV. I'm not doing that. Come on. Dirty slut. Yeah, man. There's some dirty whores out there, man. It's fucked up, man. Yeah, I don't get why you can't just use someone else with a condom.

I'll be honest. Yeah. Put it, like, have a shoebox. Put it under your bed. Yeah, deal. We don't really believe this is real. I don't. I believe it has happened, though. Yes. I dead- under your bed. Yeah, deal. We don't really believe this is real. I don't, but I do. I believe it has happened, though.

Yes. I dead-ass believe it. Really? Yeah. So they probably order room service. You guys suck. You believe everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They order room service.

Yeah. The room service comes with a little condiment, and they probably hot sauce one. They do be bringing Tabasco with the room service sometimes. They do be doing. I believe that 100%. Because, allegedly, he probably does take his condoms away after he fucks how do you think he rolls it off you ever think about that like

when you're when you're thinking about drake like you ever think about how he rolls rolling it off when no one rolls it off i I got to roll my shit off. You could just take yours off. Son, you pull. My shit be staying on. Shut up. No, it don't. No, it don't. No, it don't.

No, it don't. You could just pull a condom on your dick. Your condom gets stuck inside. So, I mean, it falls off. If I go soft, if I go soft, it'll leave it in the pussy and I just put the hot sauce direct. I go hot sauce direct in the pussy. I make a straw. Fucking halal guys.

Hot sauce, white sauce. Come on, dog. When did it go off? In the middle of the laugh. Okay, good, good. Then we're good. We're back. We're back.

Hot sauce, white sauce. Was a good line. My mic didn't go out. Yeah, I know. It was a good line. It, good. Then we're good. All right. We're back. We're back. Hot sauce, white sauce. Was a good line. My mic didn't go out. Yeah, I know. It was a good line. It was good. Okay, but it cut off during my laugh. Yeah, I didn't get to hear the full acknowledgement.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I appreciate it. Guys, it's okay. It was funny. I laughed. Everybody, it was okay. Okay, so we don't actually believe this is real, but we do believe that there's real

logic to it. Yes. I think you believe it's real. I do believe it. I believe it's is real, but we do believe that there's real logic to it. Yes. I think you believe it's real. I do believe it. I believe it's not real, but it does add up. Okay, I will say something. And this is the genius of Drake to lean into it. Yeah, and I love it.

We're talking about it, but here's something interesting. When I started to get like a little, I don't know, like when I was single and I had like a little bit, a little level of like fame or whatever. I don't know, like when I was single and I had like a little bit level, a little level of like fame or whatever. And then I noticed the switch where like girls were trying to sleep with me because that was something that they thought was cool. Talk your shit. Right. Like for real, right? Like instead of me going, oh, my girl. Oh, my God.

That girl's so hot. I want to sleep with her. That's cool. They were going, oh, my God. I like what this guy does for a living or I'm really into this guy or famous whatever there's some famous that would be a cool notch on my belt you get famous just to be equivalent

to any hot girl any hot girl it's unbelievable they're rock stars every hot girl's a rock star 100% 100% once that switched sex switched a little bit for me as well because you're starting to go oh shit I'm kind of getting conquered here as well so that's when you land the back so that's when i started on the back 100 yeah just lean over yeah yeah but no what i was trying to say is

i meant to say lay down okay yo just lay down uh ferrari it's lit right yeah that might have been a Freudian slip there's like when you're getting conquered you lay down your sword i don't know why is it lean over it's okay i'm gay guys i'm gay what i'm trying to understand is that i started to change a little bit how i thought of uh sexual dynamics and how interested i was in doing something i wonder if it affects someone in drake's position where now he knows every time someone is having sex with him that it would be

great if they got pregnant not every girl but it would be really great if they got pregnant and maybe that's why you see great uh Drake with these like kind of famous or successful women who are also like man I can't get pregnant right now like Serena Williams like I can't get pregnant right now I got these tournaments I got this other shit going on like the person i do get pregnant with i want to have a family with i don't want to just get pregnant on some side shit are we talking about the same drake what do you mean i see him with a lot of ig hoes that aren't famous and and that might be the case and don't get me wrong that might be the case i just hear about the public ones like sometimes you're about the public ones he's with and you're like wait a minute these are like successful older women sometimes not just

like the average super thought that you'd see with like a ball play or something like that yeah right and i'm wondering if those girls become more attractive because there's still something that uh is this coveted about them like they don't need your ass they might want to sleep with you but they don't even worry about the notch on your belt yeah yeah it is what it is and then you get to still like uh be that conquistador that we all have inside of us right you know does that make sense what i'm saying the thoughts is like i'm gonna get my nut out i'm drunk it's either jerking off well that's i mean yeah i might as well fuck as opposed to not fucking yeah but who i'm gonna try to wife put some time yeah he's gonna chase rihanna he's gonna fuck he's gonna be with serena he's gonna chase somebody that's still like coveted and you have to conquer like emotionally in like you know i

mean in that sense yeah i don't know maybe i'm making that up but i always would hear with like him with like sex gotta be super weird if you're that level of famous because every girl would brag about fucking yeah there's girls in relationships who have bragged to their significant others you can no longer do the thing that your biology puts you on this earth to do which is like conquest and spread your seed it shouldn't be easy just to get laid it should be hard like if you're an animal you're fighting tooth and nail every single day to maintain your alpha yeah you're a fucking elephant seal or whatever what is where are you from there's a no but like you know those uh the elephant seals like you literally see those, the elephant seals,

like you literally see them in the National Geographic shit, they're like slamming their bodies, cussing everything, they're fighting every single day. Yeah. Just so they can have sex with the girls around.

Now you don't gotta fight no more. Yeah. It's just there. Like that's gotta fuck you up a little bit up there. 100%. For a decade. A decade he's been that famous.

We hear about it in every album pretty much. That's a good point. No, but, so I guess I wonder like if that mutates what you also are attracted to. You know what's crazy about that level of fame? I kind of touched on it earlier, but there's so many people that have a list that their significant other knows about. And it's like I can sleep with these famous people and you can't get mad.

Drake is on thousands of those lists. Yeah. Who agrees to that list? Cucks. Drake is on thousands of those lists Who agrees to that list? Cucks I always hear that happen Even in jokes and shit Comics talk about this

Let my girl come up to me with that conversation Are you out your fucking mind? After I paid for this fucking wedding Why don't you invite them? You're talking about the hall pass? Yeah, what is this? Do you have a hall pass? No

I just have a hall pass? No. You won't say public? I just got a hall. This is a whole hall full of motherfuckers in that shit. You know what I mean? No, but for real, no hall pass. What girl's comfortable enough to come up to you and be like, yo, if I got a chance with this dude, I'm doing it.

Your girl came up and said that shit to you? It would be a fight, a physical fight. I don't think hall pass is applied To famous or hot people I'll beat her ass Wait what I don't think Hall pass is applied To like hot girls

Or famous dudes Oh this is just Something like Ugly people do Right As a joke Yeah Okay good

Yeah Okay good Some guy like Sells insurance in Omaha He's like yeah dude If I have a chance To fuck Jessica Biel I'm gonna to do it.

Yeah.