Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Reacts: Kimmel's Cringy BLM Emmys Pander

Episode Date: September 25, 2020

This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia and Mark discuss the verdict of the cops who killed Breonna Taylor, Kanye West, Ellen's apology, Jimmy Kimmel at the Emmys, NFL, black NASCAR and much more. INDULGE! Want a new episode every week? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2

What up people, Shultz here, and you guys are about to listen to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode. If you want to sign up to our Patreon, support the flagrancy, support what we are doing, completely uncensored, flagrant content, you go to patreon.com slash flagrant2. With no more interruptions, here is the exclusive clip. The Emmys happened, and they did the Emmys, obviously, with no audience. And then Jimmy Kimmel came on with, I don't know, what was his name? The guy from Ish, Black Ish? Yeah, let me find it.

Anthony Anderson. Anthony Anderson. I always forget his name. And Anthony Anderson came on to present an award, I believe. He looks like one of those guys that keeps it inside. Anthony Anderson. Yeah, he looks like he got a little fire in him, son. Talk to me. I don't know. Whenever I see him, it just seems like, yo looks like he got a little fire in him. Talk to me.

I don't know. Whenever I see him, it just seems like, yo, there's something up with him. You know how I can tell when people got AIDS? How do you substantiate your point with some shit we don't believe? Nah, nah, that's some real shit, though. That's hilarious.

That's some real shit. But there's something up with him. He got some demons. But yeah, keep going. Akash, did you watch it? I did not. I didn't know the Emmys were on until Monday. Until people were upset about zendaya's award being called an upset and that's how i found out the emmys happened i was like oh shit can't even be happy she won i know can you

bring that video up al it's not too long yeah it's like two two and a half three minutes it's like two and a half three minutes just play the video i think it's worth it i'm i gotta piss real quick but just play it. I'll be back by the time. You know, we have a record number of black Emmy nominees this year. This is the part where the white people start to applaud. A few minutes later. Black Lives Matter.

Louder, Jimmy. Say it so that Mike Pence can hear it. Black Lives Matter. What the fuck? I didn't hate it at first. Right. First, it seemed normal. It seemed like it was going to be a bit.

And kind of a funny bit. And Jimmy Kimmel is doing the I'm uncomfortable white guy thing. But they just botched it. I don't know how they botched it, but they botched it. Some of them would have been funny. Anthony Anderson's lines with an audience that was primed to laugh. No, their delivery wasn't bad. I'm sorry.

I'm still confused. Was that all planned or was that like one of those Kanye... All planned. I think they were trying to... Bush doesn't care about I thought they were trying

to spoof Kanye and I thought that would have been funny. Okay. Like, you know, Michael Myers, man, I'm comfortable talking about this.

I thought that's what they were going for. But then it became like Anthony Anderson was kind of being funny but also really preachy also he called WAP WAP

which is just the most Hollywood out of touch thing you could possibly do they pronounce it WAP I think you're wrong I'm an asshole what do I know I'm an out of touch

I'm the most out of touch Indian you can ever imagine WAP WAP WAP is wet ass pussy WAP is without papers yeah

alright I don't even know what that means so here we go that's Italian oh okay got you they used to call pussy WAP is without papers yeah alright I don't even know what that means so here we go that's Italian oh okay got you they used to call them

WAPs WAPdegos that's what I thought wait hold on you're saying WAP you just fucked it up I don't know what I'm talking about

don't take this shit too serious bro you know what I mean like come on man there's more important issues out there no Jimmy Kimmel is what you could've done

yo laugh at yourself yo but that's the thing I didn't understand. Like, when he was telling Jimmy to say Black Lives Matter, like, did they plan that? Like, what's going on? Why is he saying it like it's real? Say it louder. No one's there. Our volume is dictated by us.

Like, it's on TV, right? Like, if you want it to be louder, just raise the volume. That was like the Republican convention where that bitch was just, like, yelling at the fucking screen. Kimberly Guilfoyle or something like that. And we'll make America great. And then waited for the apology. But that was, I thought,

a joke opportunity for Jimmy to be, for Jimmy to say like, but you understand they have the volume at home, right? Yes. Now he used to yell, all right, I'll yell, I'll yell.

And that's like the funny bit is you're intimidated and not being a racist. But then he did it seriously. He just kept getting louder. What would have been hilarious is if they acknowledged Jimmy Kimmel doing blackface.

And I'm not saying that we got to like hold him accountable for it, but that's the joke. Yeah. Right? Isn't that the joke? Like talk about the Carl Malone.

They can't laugh at themselves, man. At that level, they just can't. That's why we need Joanne Rivers. Yeah. That's why we need Joanne Rivers.

I don't want you to think of Joanne Rivers. That's why we need Joanne Rivers. I'm going to start going around. You remember Joanne Rivers? I got in that jacket. Promise you think she Rembrandt. That's why we need Joe. I'm going to start going around. You remember Joe and Rembrandt? A guy in that jacket? Promise he thinks he's Joe and Rembrandt. Promise, promise, promise.

But isn't that funny? It's like you have a perfect opportunity to call out your black face and show how you've grown from it and show how, yeah, maybe you thought it was funny back then, but you realize you can't do that now. And then it's squashed. It's done. You call that out in that moment with Anthony Anderson and you let him tear you a fucking part for it. It's over. Nobody can hold you accountable for that ever again.

The fact that you don't in that moment, you're screaming Black Lives Matter and you don't say it at all. Now all I'm going to think about is you in fucking blackface with your eye crooked. You call him alone. He do got a crook eye, huh? No, I think it's Shaq that got the crook eye. I might have mixed my blacks come on my bad bro

he did the black face not me I thought you were talking about Jimmy Kimmel something off in his eyes they mad beady they mad small lizard people dude

oh shit you right about it yo if he said you got to back on his trade if he had to say black eyes the research in it right now is not stopped I'm reading about these fucking lizard people

they're lizard people they drink baby blood and y'all judging baby blood like that shit ain't fucking delicious probably, y'all. Basically, I think we found out the reason why we need these roasts and why they're so cathartic for us. We want to see these people who go out there. There's nothing worse. Well, there's plenty of things.

There are worse murders, rapists, et cetera. But there's nothing worse than a than a fucking than a fraudulent person that puts on airs they cast i'm telling you it's nothing worse yo yeah yeah yeah fuck you yo putting on airs you're not better than us jimmy kimmel with your black ass face i know you ain't been doing black ass face calm Calm alone. Come on, bro. It is true. And it just drives us fucking crazy. It's like, how much do you need? You already got money. You got influence.

You got power. You have success. And you need everybody to think you're a good person when you're clearly thinking about. And you can't just laugh at your own mistakes. Maybe that's it. He can be a good person now. And he can be 100% believe in this now. No one's

saying you don't think black lives matter jimmy but just call it out i didn't know how bad this was 20 years ago i wasn't alone a lot of us didn't know how bad this was yeah now we do sorry yeah that's all you gotta say and let somebody make fun of you that's it right yeah i think i don't know this shit just makes us uncomfortable because i feel like it almost like i don't know for like some of the white people at home i feel like it brings back when they were like at the diner forcing that white lady to say black lives matter do you remember yes yes yes when all those protesters like say it they're like well i don't i want to talk about it maybe or maybe learn more yeah they're like forcing her to say it i felt like he got bullied into it and he like just completely simped out and was like

all right yeah i've been simping out for years here's the thing it's like you can't force people into caring it's like trying to force a girl to love you it doesn't work yeah you know like when black people go say black lives matter to white people that doesn't make those white people start to believe black lives matter this is not like a vampire. You can't just bite someone and all of a sudden they're a vampire, right? They have to see something, empathize with it, understand it, and want to support it. You can't yell at a person into empathizing

with you. Yeah, and if they're just repeating what you're saying, they're not believing it. It's like me singing rap songs. Like, I don't believe the shit I'm saying. I'm just regurgitating the thing i hear except the n-word that's true that's what he should have made kimmy say repeat after me that would have been lit he says it too loud they're like whoa

oh my god oh that would be so that'd be so fun there was such an opportunity for humor and they lost it and to that point about shaming people i went to minnesota last year and doing a show and trump was speaking and like i saw the protest outside and every person going in they're screaming the protesters are screaming in the trump supporters face you're a fucking racist you're a piece of shit even if that's true do you think you pointing an inch from their face is gonna make them be like, you know what? I'm going to change my vote next year.

That's what I'm saying. The ultimate goal is to get that guy out of office, right? In a way, dude, it's like selfish. It is. Because you're not yelling at them for them. You're yelling at them for you. You're not yelling at them to change the system. You're not yelling at them to make improvements in society.

You're yelling at them to make you feel better. Yo, so true. It just serves you. You're yelling at them and you're looking around. It's almost like you're doing stand-up. You say a joke and you look at the audience like, did you guys find that funny? Yeah.

You're yelling at them, but they don't get claps. They just get pats on the back, like, hoorahs. Yeah. Right? And it's just like, you guys ain't shit. You're going to go to hell for falling for Trump. Aren't I good? Yeah.

Aren't I on this team? Yeah. Isn't everything cool? You have to take the religious approach. Any person that's ever wanted me to convert has never asked me. They've just been the nicest person to me. They've cared. They've been curious about what's going on in my life.

And they've showed an interest and just tried to like lead by example. And that's the most effective. It gets me in churches. It gets me in mosques. It gets me in synagogues. It gets me in all those places. Because I'm like, wow, these are really great people. And I'm curious as to why they're great.

And maybe a part of why they're so sweet is this cool religion that they're into. And if you have, the left tends to have all these sayings, love conquers all, love will lead the way, et cetera. All right, lead with love then. Until they disagree with me. Fuck you, you're a piece of shit. They're literally your girlfriend. That's all the left is, right?

They're the sweetest person in the entire world as long as you agree with everything they say. Do not push back. That's a cold-hearted bitch right there, bro. They are not playing around. That is an unpeaceful protest. Let's light some shit on fire. There will be blood.

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ingredient that's in Cialis or Viagra. Blue Chew is not to be played with. Absolutely, it is to be played with, and it's to be played with by your significant other. So you're going to do that at bluechew.com. You just go to bluechew.com, okay? Use the promo code Andrew. Use that promo code and get the hardest dick of your life. Chewer out. Deliver the D like a champion, okay? Ladies, if you're watching, make sure your man gets it. You deserve it, okay? You deserve the hardest D that he's got. Bluechew.com promo code is Andrew. Now, let's get back to the clip. Yeah. All right. Well, let's talk about someone who should get murdered ellen is uh ellen is back uh with her show can we was ellen ever good yeah it was good she had to have been of course i didn't watch but she had to have been because her ratings used to be crazy and i know

she was loved amongst black people as well as white people really you can have that crossover like you're doing something right. But what was on TV at that time? Like there's no competition. She's not going up against Game of Thrones. She's going up against like Steve Harvey, you know, yeah. Steve Harvey?

Steve Harvey. Wendy Williams. Like I don't know if they're- You can get black people away from Steve Harvey and Wendy Williams as a gay white woman. You're doing something. Yeah, I guess you're right. You're doing something.

Yeah. I mean, were they going up against each other? We got to look at those time slots. I don't know the times, but I mean, they're all in those movies. Also, Steve Harvey's show sucked. It's just him looking like exasperated when he sees some kids or something. This is every Steve Harvey clip. Like somebody does something dumb and then just.

White people, let me tell you something fast forward my mom would have kicked my ass that's every reaction to every steve harvey impression what is it so good what did you say see if you can look it up he just he just keeps going what what what in the hell i mean what what and he just does it for like three minutes it's so good. Do you think people will forgive Ellen? It won't be the same. Yes. Yes. It won't be the same.

They won't forgive her ass, yo. Yeah. They won't forgive her ass so fucking quick. Because think about who her audience is. It's like daytime moms. They need distraction. They don't give a shit about any of this shit. Oh, Ellen was mean?

I don't think it's tangible. They didn't see her be mean. It's all like words on a page. If there ain't no video, you get off. She's off, man. And also, she just gets to continue being fake nice. It's just like she's playing a character. That's what we got to look at it.

I always use Ross from Friends, but Ross from Friends is not Ross from Friends in real life. But as long as he Rosses it up on Friends, that's all the fuck we care about. You're going to be a douchebag off screen? What was it? Robert Downey Jr.? You know what I mean like you don't got to be iron man outside the movies just be iron man movie we don't care if you're doing coke we don't care if you're drinking we don't give a fuck what you're doing your life as long as you iron man that shit up when you're into marvel movies and i think real talk my take on ellen's situation this is the

best thing that could have happened to her because she's had rumors of being an asshole basically her entire career yeah now she has to double down and go the complete opposite so now she's gonna be super goody goody in front of the camera and she has to be goody goody hold up hold up this is actually really important i think oh my god this could improve the show i think she goes the other way wait well well well well well well well well well well i think it's me in the middle i think that ellen that you meet on a street off camera is 50 nicer and i think ellen that you meet on tv is 50 meaner and i think everybody benefits we get to see the real ellen and actually maybe she does a little bit more harsher jokes and there's a little dick every once in a while and we kind of like that

because we appreciate the authenticity but also the people that got to serve her food don't get some fucking stank bitch yelling at them all the time

they actually get a little bit nicer version and their expectation of Ellen is actually reduced so when she's kind of nice they're like I thought she was a cunt

she was actually kind of nice she was pretty good no that's a good point I watched her apology and she cucked out super hard. She cucked out. And that's why I'm like, I don't know if she can recover.

Wait, what do you mean she cucked out? Son, I had to do better. I was the one saying, be nice. And I realized some people didn't think that I was being nice,

even though I thought I was being nice. And I am so, shut the fuck up, bitch. You know, you came out like, listen,

what the fuck you want from me? If she, not a complete asshole, if she's not a complete asshole she's just like look apparently i'm an asshole what can you do yo what if she came out justifying she's like i mean have y'all ever sat down a restaurant they don't bring bread like are you nice to that guy when they pay for lunch this bitch can't get her nails done it should have been way funnier they weren't chewing gum they weren't for me their breath smells like tuna salad choose some fucking gum i gum. I got to talk to you.

It's called the Ellen Show. How am I an asshole? It's called the fish market. How am I an asshole? I'm giving you gum. Isn't the asshole the person who doesn't give anybody gum? That's what scared me the most about this shit. We were reading all the stuff that Ellen said, and we were all like, man, she's a real bitch.

Andrew was like, yo, she kind of got a point there. I'm related to it, bro. I mean, why are you eating fish in the green room? That shit smells tuna stinks mark brings tuna salad or chicken salad to work every single day i gotta time my meals around his i don't want to eat around this fucking animal when he's eating his tuna salad that's not his that's not his food that's just him like more tuna salad i'm like i got hamburgers

point is ellen's show could get better ellen's gonna be way better than the average stranger like more tuna salad I'm like I got hamburger I don't know what you're talking about the point is Ellen's show could get better Ellen's gonna be way better than the average stranger and she'll be happier because she doesn't have to feel like she's a fraud

this could be a win-win for everybody involved potentially if she lets her bitchiness leak a little bit here and there in strategic moments

alright I'm in but I can't I don't want this shit have you ever seen a stand-up yes so like I feel a little bit of her bitchy comes out in a stand-up like she's like you know brags about how hard it is being rich and shit like that like but in a passive-aggressive way guys but if that a little bit of that comes out on the show i think that's adorable and i don't mind i don't hate it i think it's got its place Do you think it's fair to say that her stand-up is...

Bitchy's not the right word. Dickhead, like condescending, disguised as cute. So in her jokes, everybody else is always the idiot. It's that Seinfeld shit. No, but Seinfeld's more of an over dick.

He'll either be over dick or it's just about Pringles. It's just about a water bottle. It's just about a water bottle. It's just about nothing. Yeah, hers is more about her. Ellen is like, I interacted with this person, and they're going to be dumb in this joke, but I'm going to do it in a cute way, and it's going to be sarcastic. But deep down, it's like, you fucking idiot.

Why would you talk to me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of times, clean comics are like this. Like, Brian Regan, right, is the cleanest comic, and he's so fucking funny. But there is a molten lava volcano of anger bubbling inside that guy and you see it come out

when he does this one act out. He is a retard voice that he puts on anybody that he thinks is stupid. Right. He goes, but why would you do that? You gotta find a Jesse Jackson

Jackson put, like that is, Why'd you got jesse jack he has a he's like i don't want to spell cat cat right then he just keeps on spiraling down he makes fun of himself with it so he'll put it on himself the retard voice but that is how he sees anybody that bothers him as a fucking retard yeah right yeah dude in a weird way those clean comics are way darker way darker a little bit dude because think about everybody that you're upset is a represent it was a retard yeah they're like suppressing it like like they present it as if they're not angry but it's really like suppressed and like they're trying to work

through it yeah it feels like it makes me a little more anxious yeah it's like uh what you know like uh um with chernobyl like a nuclear reactor gives off all this heat because the nuclear part of it is just tucked in there like waiting to explode that's a clean comic that's a clean comic yeah when you watch bill burr yelling you're like it's out he just let it out yeah he just let it steam off you know when you see like Ellen like talking shit about someone but pretending to be nice she's gonna explode

it's like oh my god like what's in there yeah it's terrifying Cosby she's beating the shit out of Portia probably like I wanna know

what's going on at home he's getting knocked out I'm getting scared real talk it is interesting and you see those we gotta look at like successful clean comics

yo you know what's wild we haven't heard a word from Portia she don't give a talk this whole time best of one person that can be like yo Ellen is my wife is great Ellen changed that bitch's name

her real name is like Sally Ellenberger or something weird like that some white ass name bro for real was she with Ellen back when she was still when she was on Arrested Development no but Ellen changed it before Ellen changed I'm gonna change your name then I'm gonna change your sex that's how this shit works

you don't like dicks no more I'm Ellen look change your name and I'm going to change your sex, you d***. That's how this shit works. You don't like dicks no more. I'm Ellen. Look under the table. It's my box. Alright guys, you just listened to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode. If you want to continue to listen to that episode, subscribe, join the Asshole Army Patreon. Keep it tight and keep it flagrant with us. You can do that at

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