Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Reacts: Messi GOAT, Ronaldo TRASH, & 36 Hours In Morocco

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

What's up people, welcome to our first Flagrant PODUMENTARY. Throughout this episode we will intercut our favorite moments from watching the World Cup in Morocco. Before that, we will discuss the impact of this cup, Messi and Ronaldo's legacy, and why we're all North African. Thank you Jägermeister for making this wild adventure possible. Dima Maghreb!!! TIMECODES 00:00 - World’s greatest athlete has to be a footballer (or Floyd) 09:02 - Messi vs Penaldo 22:31 - iShowSpeed is a Ronaldo fan 24:10 - Landon Donovan gotta shave it + Mark got MAD head 28:35 - PODUMENTARY STARTS: The Moroccan Adventure 36:02 - We went to the Times Square of Marrakech 44:06 - Dov’s soft hands + Mark is a horrendous wingman 52:00 - Dov got hustled in Morocco 01:12:35 - KidSuper drops by… 01:45:17 - Andrew gets scared in the Medina 01:52:04 - What’s the next big adventure? 02:00:04 - Andrew is a born again football fan 02:04:15 - Akaash hates having fun

football fanaticos. Moroccan Schultzy here. And we just watched Argentina punish that French ass. We're going to talk about why Messi's the motherfucking goat. Why Ronaldo will be absolutely forgotten after he retires. And of course,

we're going to talk about our little 36-hour trip to Morocco. You're going to see a lot of stuff like this. What's up, guys? This is Schultz. I want to let you know that this podcast is a little bit different, okay? It isn't a regular podcast. This is a podumentary.

So if you're listening right now, I would recommend you go over to YouTube and watch the whole thing because we got a bunch of footage from our 36 hours of Morocco spliced into the podcast with all the stories that we're telling. So go indulge in that when you can. Peace. Okay, but before we get to that, let's talk about it. Ronaldo, forgotten, Messi, guaranteed, GOAT, do we agree? Alright, I don't know about that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, listen, listen. Who is Ronaldo? Are we talking about football or soccer? No, no, no. We're talking about, it's called football, Al. I'm the greatest football journalist in history. It's football. Moroccan people refer to the game as football. Okay, so just today. As the greatest football journalist in history,

I just have to say that now that Messi has won a World Cup, I don't even think Ronaldo's in the same league. I don't even think he's top two. I think it's Messi, Mbappe, Ronaldo. Honestly, I don't even think Mbappe's there. Whoa. Mbappe had a good... Hey, listen.

Come on, son. I don't think Mbappe's there. 23 years old, 24 years old? Was it a hat trick? Yes. Literally. I do kind of agree with that. I do kind of agree with that.

Was it a hat trick like when you really... Do you count penalty kick hat tricks? I kind of agree. Say again? You count Messi's of agree with that. Was it a hat trick like when you really – do you count penalty kick hat tricks? Do you count Messi's goal? Say again? You count Messi's goal? Did I say he had a hat trick? You said he scored. You said he's a goat.

But I didn't say he had a hat trick. All right, if we don't count penalties as goals, Messi didn't even score, bro. If we don't count penalties as goals, Ronaldo's not even in the conversation. Thank you for proving my point. Ronaldo. Ronaldo. Ronaldo is what we really should call him. I'm telling you,

I was watching a lot of highlights on YouTube, Mark. Yeah, what do you think about soccer in general, bro? First of all, it's the world's game. Let me tell you something. Actually, let me make

an actual point. Let me not be sarcastic for one moment and make an actual point. The greatest athlete of all time, if not a sprinter, if we're talking about actual sport athlete, if not a sprinter, if we're talking about actual sport athlete,

if not a sprinter, Competitive. Competitive sport. Yeah. Has to be a football player. Come on. Let me explain why. Hold on, I might know where you're going with this.

Go ahead. Are we talking Moroccan football? We're talking about Moroccan football. Moroccan football. Nice. AKA soccer Moroccan football, but right now we're jaleba'd up. What's happening to you? We're jaleba'd up What's happening to you?

We're jaleba'd up Are we not Moroccans? Are you not African? Are you not claiming African Once again? Yeah He's African American today Man you really are bro

Shit We tried to take you back To the motherland You rejected the whole God damn thing We'll get to that later Switch to me Miles We'll get to that later

My point is My point is You cannot be considered The greatest athlete in all of humanity if you do not play the sport that all of humanity plays. Yeah, just then most people play it. Exactly. So, Michael Phelps, my argument for why he's not the greatest athlete, he's just the greatest tall guy that had a pool. He's not the greatest athlete. Make him do anything else.

He's a goofy. Yeah. He is. Greatest swimmer of all time. What does that mean means you're good at swimming? That's it Like you know how many people I've never been born near water don't know how to swim try my hardest not to look left Who doesn't know how to swim culturally most cultures don't know how to swim. That's true mark That's not true. Most cultures do not know how to swim. It's just know if that's true. Mark, most cultures do not know how to swim. It's just not part of the culture.

They're not taking swim lessons. No. Most cultures. Swimming is a luxury. Most cultures do not know how to swim. You think a Finnish knows how to swim, bro? Yeah. No, I do think they know how to swim. Finnish.

Wim Hof, he's in the water at zero degrees, bro. He's Scandinavian. He's in a mountain, bro. Yeah, he's Scandinavian. He loves the water. He's going to go no matter what. Yeah, but he's in an ice bath. He's not swimming.

That's a bad example. They're not going over eight feet in ice. They're not trying to do that. They do their little buckets, but they're not willing to go to the deep end. A little ALS challenge. Yeah, for real. When I ice bucket, I go deep end. A what?

I do deep end ice bath challenge, for real. Because if it's a problem, you freeze in there, you die. That's next level stakes. You can't just call your wife to have her pull you out of your bathtub. Like Wim Hof and all those pussies. Except for you, Huberman. Love you. I guess my point is the greatest competitive athlete of all time has to be a football player, a Moroccan football player.

Just by sheer numbers. Just by sheer numbers. What about baseball players, bro? They win the World Series. That's the whole world. Just by sheer numbers. What about baseball players, bro? They win the World Series. That's the whole world. That's pretty good. It is great marketing, but we all know it's not the whole world. Yeah, it is the whole world.

Anyone that wants to play baseball, you're welcome to play. Can't, but they don't, bro. That's what I'm saying. Usain Bolt is the greatest sportsman of all time because every person on this planet has run 100 meters straight except the governor of Texas. Yeah. But most people have.

He might be the fastest. But did they do that? Who's the most lucky? Did they do that in the Paralympics? What do you mean? You could just get a wheelchair, put some rockets on it, see what happens. Yo. They should do that.

Yo. BattleBots meets Special Olympics, bro. Charge them up. Elon is wasting his time, bro. Thank you. Put some rockets behind me to paralyze me. And see what happens. Let's see what happens.

What are they called? Paraplegics? Paraplegics? Paraplegics, man. That's awesome. Paralysize is way more fire. That shit is wild. Okay, so if Messi's the GOAT, that means he's the greatest competitive athlete of all time.

Now, you're willing to put him over your boy Floyd? Just by your same argument? Ooh, let's fucking go. We got him. You got him. You got him spinning right now. Hey, is that you in a corner, Schultz? Don't cry.

You paint yourself into a little corner? Don't cry, bro. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Hey, bro, can I tell y'all something? What's going on? Everybody fought.

Even Abbott slapped somebody. You don't think Abbott, Governor Abbott, you don't think Wheel slapped the shit out of somebody? Little dick punch one time. 100% Talking all that shit On your knees I think 100%

More people Have probably fought Than played football More people Probably had a slap box Than played football Yes 100%

I never fought I never fought anyone You slap boxed Your brother I might be the greatest Fighter of all time I just never fought Stop it

That's your point He doesn't know What about when Your sister beat you To fuck up See there you go So that's the fight I might be the greatest fighter of all time. I just never fought. Stop it. That's true. He doesn't know. You grew up in a family with eight siblings. What about when your sister beat you the fuck up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, there you go. So that's the fight. Remember when your sisters would fucking pull on your foreskin?

Remember that? No, that never happened. They dragged you out of your bed by your foreskin. That's not true. That's not true. Don't get marked by his foreskin. It's breakfast time. That's a lie.

Do you remember they would hook you? No. They'd hook you like a tuna in a market in Tokyo. They'd just hook you by that foreskin and drag you out to breakfast. Toss me like we're in Seattle? Yeah, 100%. You don't remember that? That never happened.

That's why you got a hanging foreskin, bro. How do you know it's hanging? That's the word on the street. You got a sleeping bag. I don't know that. Yo, that's what the word on the street is. You got a sleeper. That is true sometimes.

When I sleep, I toss it over my shoulder. Do you? Yeah, yeah, that's true. Have you ever tried to, like, tuck your toes in it when it gets cold at night? I have, actually. I have. It looks like a wizard's hat, man. Does you? Yeah, yeah, that's true. Have you ever tried to, like, tuck your toes in it when it gets cold at night? I have, actually. I have. It looks like a wizard's hat, man. Does it?

Yeah, 100%. That went. So you just cocoon that whole shit over you? That's fire. That's fire. That's great. A little onesie.

Defense mechanism. I'm like an armadillo. A little butterfly. That's my chrysalis. Dude, that is a good-ass point. Yeah. Dude, if you make a... I'm not even gonna make the joke. So, look. Where is your foreskin? Do you point. Yeah. Dude, if you make a... I'm not even going to make the joke.

So, look. Where is your foreskin? Do you know? Yeah. Donated it. Yeah, I donated it. Your parents mutilated you and you just donated it? Donated it.

Not my parents. Yeah. My parents didn't do it. My mom or dad didn't do it. They begged them to do it, though. They did. Beg them to do it. The doctor was like, ah, we don't want it.

And your parents said, we need to cut it off. You know what's funny? It's my parents... Because you can choose. And back in the day, like, baggy jeans or shit was, choose, and back in the day, like baggy jeans or shit was like in back in the day. Yeah, JNCO foreskin. Literally, JNCO. They asked for the JNCO.

So I got, I have a baggy, I have a lot more foreskin than most. Oh, really? Yeah, this is 100%. I donated in months. Is that true? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so you have a little tip. I don't know what I was talking about.

He got a black tip, dude. No, no, I don't. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. I heard that you got your shit cut really tight. Your dick looked like a rash guard is on it. I heard you can't

even jerk your dick. You don't even have enough skin. I know. You can't even get fully hard on your shit both. I donated all of it.

That's his dick. Listen, we just tried to talk about Moroccan football. Yeah, sorry. And y'all want to talk about dicks all the goddamn time.

All right, let's go back and talk about the best athlete of all time. And why Ronaldo will be forgotten. Why Mayweather is the best athlete of all time. Yo, Mayweather is the greatest athlete of all time. There's no question. After Mayweather, if we're going to talk about white sports like football. There we go. I was talking about all sports.

But sports where they try to exclude black people from playing, like soccer. Latinos are not white. Say again? Latinos are not white. Say again? Latinos are not white. Axe a Latino. I knew you were going to say that. That's just something he says, so he's not dating a white woman. Oh, my God.

Latinos are not white. Wow. He's not even dating a Latina. Yeah, I know. She's from Europe. Yeah, she's a bona fide Caucasian. She's Spanish. I was hoping you would bring that up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she could. Honestly, technically, she could have African roots. She could? Because the was hoping you would bring that up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she could. Honestly, technically, she could have African roots. She could. Because the Moroccans, God bless their souls. A lot of African root over here.

Okay, can we get back on track here? Yeah, yeah. Because I really, there are people that tuned in for a serious conversation about Moroccan football. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm the greatest

football journalist of all time. What I'm trying to say is, now that Messi has the World Cup, you can't even compare Ronaldo to Messi. I really don't think you can. You can't compare them. Even before, I wasn't even putting them in there. Well, listen, before I did because I wasn't a fan of soccer. Then I started watching the videos here, okay?

And I'm looking at the videos. The level of skill, there's no comparison. Messi is leagues above? What is the term? I don't know if you say leagues. I don't know if you say leagues. Ronaldo is a better physical specimen in his prime. Jumps higher, prints faster.

He's hot, and that counts for something. Also more attractive, I think. More attractive. Stronger. He got benched. More powerful shot. That's political though. What's going on with that? It's not political. Well, let's not get into the benching. Let's talk about earlier in the peaks of their career, all right? I think what we're seeing right now, this decline of Ronaldo, okay?

We were talking about this a little bit earlier as well, is that because he relied more on his physical ability, now that his physical ability has declined, his effectiveness on the field on the pitch if you will has also declined yeah right

now that he can't run as fast now that he isn't as powerful now that he can't be as physically imposing and dominant his ability to affect

the game has lessened at a faster rate than Messi who is always a much more skilled player yeah so if you had to compare

them to NBA players you said Messi to you is Steph Curry. Steph Curry. So who is Cristiano Ronaldo? And let me say why I say that. He's Steph Curry in terms of, like, Steph Curry gets his buckets. He has immense skill. Don't get me wrong. He has immense natural gifts.

But he gets his buckets by outsmarting his opponents. Using every little move to move that person a fraction of an inch, and when they're a fraction, just take advantage of that opportunity that he created. When I'm watching these highlights of Messi, I'm like, this guy is solving three problems ahead every single time. It's amazing to watch him work. He's doing one deke that he knows is going to move this defender, but he can't kick the

ball too far because he has another defender that he has to move around, and then a third one that he's preparing for. And I'm looking at this guy, and I'm like, holy shit. Not only is he incredibly impressive in terms of problem solving, but also selfless. Yes. Like, he'll solve three problems, and then he maybe could take a shot at goal, but he'll make the more high-percentage play, pass it off, and then that person will score.

Like Rain Man. His decision-making is insane. Yo, and then Mark was like, yeah, play, pass it off, and then that person will score. Like Rain Man. His decision making is insane. Yo, and then Mark was like, yeah, he, I mean, yeah, you basically call him autistic. But in like the most beautiful way, the guy's a fucking genius. He's applied the autism to football, Moroccan football, and he succeeded. And I watch Ronaldo play, and I

see a guy with immense physical gifts, but not the same problem-solving ability, and it's probably because he hasn't had to solve the problems. It's like a guy like, I mean, LeBron is not the right comparison, because LeBron... That's who I compared him to, simply in terms of decision-making. But the thing about LeBron is that LeBron is so one, so selfless.

Your Kobe comparison was really good, but I think Kobe's problem-solving was maybe more elite. I think, like, James Harding. The game came so easy to him. He was able to bully, get some space, create his shot.

And the second the physical ability started to leave, you know who it might be? It might be like Giannis Antetokounmpo. Once Giannis Antetokounmpo starts to slow down. But we don't know that yet. We don't know it yet.

But once his physical ability no longer can affect the game, it's going to be hard for him to dominate because he can't fall back on these elite skills like Messi. Messi, you could watch him right now. He's not going to beat somebody in a foot race. We were watching the final. If it's one-on-one just racing for the ball, he's going to lose every single

time. He don't even run that much. Now, before that motherfucker would, but now he wouldn't. But he's still effective because if he gets the ball within space, he can. He was involved with every scoring play. Yeah. So that's that, like, elite IQ. I had coaches like this.

We would play with our coaches. I'd be, like, 15, 16, and we're all, like, running super crazy energy. And we would play with the coach who's, like, 50. But mentally, his decision-making was so good and his change of speed was so good, he could hang with us and we'd beat him. And he would make fun of us, like, oh, you let an old man beat you. But if it's a foot race, we'll beat him. But just his ability to still play, even at an old age, just due

to his agility and mental game, was unmatched. Interesting. So here's something that's interesting. If we're saying Messi's past Ronaldo, the gap is only going to grow. Because from what I'm hearing, Ronaldo very much relies on the physical. And Messi, he can keep aging. They're about the same age, right?

Messi's going to keep being good for a few more. He was amazing in this World Cup. Yep. Second most goals and probably had more assists than Mbappe overall. So, like, contributed to more points. So, he's just going to keep playing at a high level, theoretically. And Ronaldo's kind of going to start regressing a lot more. That's so true.

I think Ronaldo's a little older. He's a couple years older. I think Ronaldo's 38. I think so. a couple years older. I think Ronaldo's 38. I think so. And then Messi's, what, 35? And this is where I compare. I was comparing Messi's decision-making to LeBron's, and I compared Ronaldo to Kobe based on what I've heard,

which is Kobe wants it all on him at all times. For better and for worse, this shit is mine, and you respect that. But I think that's what it seems like Ronaldo is. Like, if y'all didn't use me enough and we won the World Cup, I don't give a fuck. I'm walking off. I'm Like, if y'all didn't use me enough and we won the World Cup, I don't give a fuck. I'm walking off. I'm pissed at the coach. You didn't play me enough.

I don't know if Messi's like that, and that's how I also think LeBron is. It's like, yo, whoever gets a shot if we win, it's good. Regardless, we all just witnessed the greatest World Cup finals in history. Greatest World Cup in history. Maybe the greatest World Cup in history. So I have to ask you guys the question. This is what everybody on the Internet wants to know. Guy the greatest World Cup in history. So I have to ask you guys the question. This is what everybody on the internet wants to know. I watched one World Cup.

Is it, now that we've watched the greatest World Cup and the greatest World Cup final in history, it's worth the people that died building the stadiums, right?

Like we can have, no, no, no. I'm asking, the internet is asking the question. The internet is asking, let me ask you this. Okay.

After watching the game, you feel a little bit more, at least. Son, that was a lot of people from Morocco there, bro. That's not true. Pakistan. And some. It was worth it if you asked me. If you asked me, actually, it was worth it. Now, do you think, if there are any fans of soccer, do you think that there are any fans that are these massive Messi fans,

and they're like, if I am going to give my life building these stadiums, at least let Messi win his first World Cup. Do you think that there's a little bit? Maybe that's how he won. Human sacrifice. They offered themselves up to God. Come on, Al. What? What you got to say? Was it Catholics that died? Say again? Catholics that died?

I don't know who died. I'm just saying. You awfully quiet, pussy. I'm not on board. I'm not on board with this one. Not on board with what, Al? People shouldn't have to die to play kickball, bro. Come on, bro. You shouldn't. What if it was to build the

Super Bowl? Now that's a game. What if it was to build the Super Bowl? Now that's a game. What if it was to have a conversation on a comedy park? I know. What about that hypothetical? That one's rough. Can we have that hypothetical? It's a rough one.

Wait, who did you say died? Who died? I didn't say anybody died. I also didn't say this is how I feel. The internet was asking this question. Who allegedly died?

Was it Pakistanis? I don't know. The people that were building the stadium, allegedly. Were they black? I think they were? I don't know. The people that were building the stadium allegedly. Were they black? I think they were brown. Oh.

Why y'all putting me in this corner? I'm just saying. If it was white people, you wouldn't give a fuck. If it was a bunch of people from Finland, I would care about your people. Hey, you right. See how it goes? If it was Sweden, alright. That's the only place I'll be like, alright, it's fucked. See what I'm? Who cares about how it goes? I got to care about the stadium. If it was Sweden, all right.

That's the only place I'll be like, all right, it's fine. See what I'm saying? So just imagine it was Swedes. Imagine it was 500 Swedes died building them stadiums. Yep. So Messi could finally get his- Just Ikea cranking furniture. Yeah, I know. I would imagine.

Done. I'd be in an uncomfortable stadium. What happened? It's all plastic. It came in flat. You got to build your own seat when you get there. Oh, man, that would be horrible. All I'm saying is a lot of people are trying to have that conversation,

and I thought I would pose that question to you guys. Was it so good that it makes you feel a little bit better about that? We all feel horrible that these people died, but do you feel a little bit better? It was so good, you're going to forget that people died. Maybe that's a better way of posing it. Conveniently block that out of your memory. Is that it? And when you talk about this World Cup, remember when this started,

and I'm not picking on you, this is the mentality of everybody, but you were like, whole thing feels tainted, man. The whole thing feels gross. And then every match was good to the point that we were like, this is the best. I mean, USA kept winning. I was like, I mean. I don't think they should ever do a World Cup outside of Qatar.

I think so far good idea good idea qatar is the go to world cups if this is the greatest world cup ever right if it's the greatest world cup ever let me tell you this we didn't miss alcohol did we shout to islam we weren't there bro shout to islam we didn Shuff. We didn't miss bitches. We're married. We're all married, bro. Yeah, okay. There was a few in the stands.

Side note, mad pressure when they go to the stands and a girl is wearing the jersey of where she's from because that's how I judge all the women from your country. If they told you it's a fine girl, we're like, yo, we need to go to Croatia. Yeah, yeah. Red and white Croatia.

It was this ginger old lady, and I was like, ooh, skip it. Nah, nah, nah. I think we said this before. You got to subsidize it. You have to send your best. Send your best. Bro. Put them on a plane.

I don't care. It's a tourism commercial. Plump up your lips and get the stand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude. Bribe the camera guy. Everyone's like, bribe the refs. Fuck that, bro. Bribe the camera guy. Say, like, bribe the refs. Fuck that, bro.

Bribe the camera guy. Because that's tourism. Yeah. You're not people going to go to Croatia after what they saw. A million percent. We didn't send out our best. We didn't have that. It was looking kind of rough.

There weren't a lot of American girls that we were going to. That's a great point. Yeah. They're already in. That's why we lost. Didn't shit it on them. That didn't help. You know what I mean?

It's a one-hour flight. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, it didn't help. Also, the most beautiful American women, typically, you know, a lot of them are not necessarily from America. That's one hour flight. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, it didn't help. Also, the most beautiful American women typically, you know, a lot of them are not necessarily from America. That's the other thing. Oh, interesting. They come over, they came over from Columbia.

I'm saying, bro. They come over from Columbia, they mix in a little. They come in from the islands, they mix in a little. So when it comes to support a team, they're not supporting America. You know what's wild? I want to talk mad shit about you, but all of our moms aren't from America. That's my point. Was your mom born in America or Puerto Rico?

America, light. She was born in New York. She was like the last of 11, so that's why. They came up. She's one of the 11? The youngest of 11? Damn. Have you met Gramps?

You met Gramps? Yeah met gramps a cool dude i mean really obviously he was used to man yeah obviously literally yes mad uncles and aunties that's what i get same moms uh two were not oh two or not oh but nine with one and then two more say my dad won a nine my dad my grandpa was born in the 1800s. Sorry, did anybody ask you about his family? How many kids? Take off that job. Take it off. You don't deserve it. No, but now that I'm thinking about it,

I think I just made up 11. I think it's like nine now that I'm going through all the aunts and uncles. I think it's about nine. It's about 11, though. But 11 is fine, though. Uncles, inches, you just add a couple. Yeah. Bad cousins.

I don't even know. Okay, let's just get back here because we don't want to take all episodes to discuss this but we really can because it is the world's game. Yes. And we are having this conversation for the world. The question is now that Ronaldo has not won a World Cup, is there

any player that hasn't won a World Cup that we still talk about? We're talking about Ronaldo now so that it's an odd thing that's happening. Hey, shut up, bitch. Put your good-ass points. Quit making good-ass points making me look like

I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, motherfucker. That's my bad. That's my bad. God damn it. Shit. Took the wind out of my sails.

This is a poorly worded question. No, I'm saying like historical figures. Like Pele probably won a World Cup, right? Every goat won a World Cup.

Pele, Maradona, and now Messi. Messi. Johan Cruyff. Oh, Cruyff. Oh, how could we forget? Johan.

Did the first Ronaldo win one? Yeah, yeah. Ronaldo won one? 100%. Lou Andosky, Robert Lou Andosky, he never won one.

Son, these are truly names I've never heard in my life. And I've been watching soccer for like six days now. Yeah, I know. That's my point, exactly. With all due respect, with all due respect. It's not going to be respectful. No, no, with all due respect to David Beckham. Oh.

Motherfuckers don't even know he plays soccer. You're just hot, dude. You're just hot. Motherfuckers don't even know he plays soccer. Son, you're a hot dude married to Spice Girl. Thank you. That's all I know about you. Thank you. Thank you. That's all I know about you. Thank you.

That's all I know about you. Thank you. I gave him respect. He's hot. That's what he's known for. He is hot. He was nice, but no World Cup? Forgotten.

Disappeared. He's in the World Cup. You got to take these things off. E pluribus unum. What is that? E pluribus unum. Come on. E pluribus unum.

The only reason I don't back up. We're all united? What is that? That's Unum. The only reason I don't We're all united? What is that? That's on the dollar, bro. I don't know. I just need some Latin right there. It felt like the right thing.

I wanted to do a Harry Potter spell. I forgot how to do a Vita Cadabra. Yeah. A Vita Cadabra. From many one? From many one.

That's what E Pluribus Unum is. Yeah, from many one. Exactly, bro. Come on, Al. Rock with me, son. Rock with me, Al. Al, prop it up. Prop Come on, Al. Rock with me, son. Rock with me, Al. Al, you're going? Al, prop it up.

Prop it up, Al. Al, prop it up. That shit was fire. That's what I'm saying, my boy. We creating momentum out here. Eat parmesan. For many gold conversations, there can only be one gold. Oh, my God, bro.

God damn. Wow, bro. Get it, dude. Holy shit. Get it, dude. That's crazy. Okay. My point is, Nessie telling all his fans to shut up shit. Get it, dude. That's crazy. Okay. My point is,

Nessie telling all his fans to shut up right here. Look at this. That's Ronaldo, but it's all good. It's okay. And we're back. We all make mistakes.

It would have been good. We all make mistakes. You know Ronaldo's in the grave when even speed flips on you. Wow. You saw that? Speed flipped. Took off his shirt

underneath Nessie's jersey. Oh. Took off his shirt underneath Messi jersey. Oh, shit. Because the motherfucker knew. And I bet Messi will meet him. Say what's up to him. Give him a little hug. Come on, bro. He looks so happy to do it, too.

Wow. Wow. Bam, bam, bam. Bam, bam, bam. Bam, bam, bam. Was he out there for the entire shift? Yes, bro. God damn. It's the world's game.

The world's goddamn game. Do we have to thank Speed for making soccer popular in America? Actually, we do. Can you elaborate on that, please? I'm just saying. We had Landon Donovan. He brought a couple people into the game. We had Tyler Adams.

He brought a couple people into the game. Don't Tyler Adams. He brought a couple people into the game. Don't know who you're talking about. Speed might have brought more people to the game. You had a comment about Landon Donovan during the broadcasting. What were you talking about him? Landon is time, bro. In time for what? Shave it off, buddy. Shave it off? Shave it off, bro. Why is he a hater? His head

looks stupid. His shit didn't, so he just... That's what I'm saying. Grow it out in the back, flip it, or go to Turkey, get the transplants, get on some type of finasteride something, make it come back, or shave it off. He looks... Can you get him up? Yeah, yeah. He looks stupid, man. And I'm not even trying to diss the guy.

I'm a Donovan fan, bro. I grew up watching this guy. But it's got to go, buddy. Yo. I hate it. We're not hating, bro. I loved him. Remember when Tim Howard did that crazy outlet pass and he scored?

Yes. Are you serious right now? I'm being dead serious. We talking about French? Yeah, I remember. I remember very well. That's at its best. No, that's dumb.

No, no. Don't disrespect. That's disrespectful. Come on, bro. That's Rihanna. Jeez, come on. That is Rihanna. Wow, bro. That's Rihanna. That is Rihanna. That is wild disrespectful. That's Rihanna. Jeez, come on. That is Rihanna. That is wow disrespectful.

Why is that disrespectful? Why is that disrespectful? Why is it disrespectful compared to a bald man? Listen, does Rihanna have a beautiful large forehead? Not that. That's not a beautiful forehead. My wife tried to put big foreheads on me. She was like, you love big foreheads.

I was like, do I? She's like, I've seen girls that you're into, and I was like, I didn't even know that that was like a characteristic I'm into. Apparently, yo, Landon, you better cover that shit up, my boy. Let's go, bro. Dude, for what? No, but you don't have size. No, I do. No, I'm built with size. No, you got anvil.

You got anvil. She's like, nah. You got anvil. I got Petra, bro. My face is Petra, dog. Nah, you're not really big. Yeah, you don't have a lot of, you don't have a lot of, like, inches. You don't have a lot of inches this way, but you do, it does come forward.

You're like that hammerhead shark. Well, hammerhead goes out like this. It's similar, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. That is true. You have something there. Yeah, I'm trying to see, what is he?

Easter Island head? That's probably the closest thing, man. Do's true. That is true. You had something there. Yeah, I'm trying to see. What is he? Easter Island head? That's probably the closest thing, man. Do you get to stand a little closer to the eye exam thing? No. Because your eyes are set so far back. Let's move on. Let's just. Now you're being rude.

Now you're being rude to my family. Now you're being rude. We're going to move on, all right? Do you have to get custom fittings because they all make your size? Low key, yes. What is your hat size? It's insane. Genuinely, it's insane.

Can I get a snapback and just let it go? Snapback is like the last two hooks. I swear to God. But serious question. What is bigger, shoe or hat size? Relatively? No, no, no. They're both the number.

Well, hat size is like in the 30s, right? Normally? No, it's like seven and three-fourths. God damn! Every hat's in like the 30s, right? It's less than the 30s? right normally no it's like seven and three-fourths I tried to give him I was like maybe a centimeters not even that is 30s. What are you? You're probably a 20. You're probably a 20-size hat. No, I'm an 8 1⁄4, bro. No, no, no, no.

It's 8, right? No, 7 1⁄4. I was about to say 8 1⁄4. That's kind of big, too. 7 1⁄4. Genuinely, it's probably double digits. I've never had a fitted that I found that I put on that fit me. Never in my life.

That's wild, Creed. I was a manager of baseball teams. There were hats everywhere. Did you try taking one off a mascot? That's the only way. That's the only way, bro. I have to find of baseball teams. There were hats everywhere. Did you try taking one off a mascot? That's the only way. That's the only way, bro. I have to find a tiger that has got a hat on. If it's going to fit, there's holes in the ears, bro.

It's fucking a nightmare. A lot of people don't talk about the difficulties of having larger things. Your nose isn't that big, bro. Your nose isn't that big. When I drink wine out of a glass, I have to do mostly neck. Because the wine glass stops here. And then I literally, I have to tilt my head back. And the most embarrassing thing, that's why I always let my wife taste it.

Because when they do the taste, it's just a little at the bottom. Yeah, but you wouldn't know if it's good or not. Because you could get all the way in the fucking glass. No, I can smell it better than most people. But when I actually have to sip it, I'm fucking drinking, I'm at a restaurant, and there's a pole behind my seat,

and I went like this to try it, and I went, and it made the sound gone. That's crazy. Was it an Asian restaurant? Did everyone bow

as soon as you did it? Hi, I'm a time of the century. Yeah, they thought another person was walking in. Yeah, that's beautiful, man. But no, the sniffing thing is tricky. You ever snorted up?

What? The wine? The wine? Not cocaine. Really? You're going to let that happen? You're going to do that to me? What, what, what, what, what?

You're going to do that to me? Yo, yo. No, I have to. You're going to do that to me? He's like, words. We had a beautiful time. We had a beautiful time in Morocco. We had a great time. We were brothers. time in Morocco. We had a great time.

We were brothers. We were brothers, bro. That's my bad. That's how you do me, bro? That's my bad. Go, go. Go, go, go. I'm sorry.

Go, go, go, go. I was about to bring it back to Dub because he's been quiet. Go, go. I'm pouting. I'm pouting. No, but go on. Yes, I have smelled the wine

and I did smell it. He needs those extendo clips for his glass. Bro, my shit is in the bathroom. That's not fair, bro. What? That's not fair. It's my go-go gadget, yo. I have my shit up.

It's like an arm, bro. We're going to take a break for a second. We just got to say thank you to today's sponsor, Fansly. Fansly has the adult content you crave by creators you already know and plenty that you don't no matter what your taste fansly has a whole algorithm dedicated to finding new content and creators that you are into feet pics baby and water sports whatever you're into fansley is too with a broad array of vanilla to kinky content and hundreds of thousands of creators fansley has the content you didn't even know that you wanted okay you didn't even know that you're into it don't even worry about it fansley

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All the content on Fanzly.com. Who knows what you're going to find there, okay? They got the feet pics. They got your neighbor Jenna. Shoot, they might have feet pics from your neighbor Jenna. Again, that's Fanzly.com slash promo slash flagrant. Thank you, Fanzly. Now let's get back to the show.

We should talk about our trip to Morocco. We made a crazy little trip to Morocco. If you're a real asshole army flagrant supporter, you already know what the fuck time it was. We pulled off some incredible shit. So Morocco was going to play or did play France in the semifinals. Now Morocco is this massive underdog. I love underdogs.

I love the underdog story. It motivates me. It excites me. I love the energy around underdogs. Everything about the what if moment excites me. And we were going to go watch the game in Qatar. The reason why we're not in Qatar right now is because this is my first year anniversary with my wife. Yay!

Which is fire and is awesome, but we had to watch the game, but I didn't want to go out there to Qatar and then my wife's got to wear a fucking garbage bag for the whole weekend or whatever. It's not the best way to celebrate your first anniversary. It helps gratitude in America, though. It's like, look how great things are.

That's a good-ass point. I could just turn the thing around so she can't see it all and I just run and go watch the game. Yeah. Do they ever play that game with their watch?

You know what I mean? They're just walking and flip the garbage bag around and then it's just nothing. You see absolutely nothing. That's a really fun prank. Yeah. Yeah, we should do that.

That is a fun prank. That's not a fun prank? You don't think that that's a fun prank? That's wild, dude. Is that? Why is that wild? It's kind of a funny prank, yeah.'t think that that's a fun prank? That's wild, dude. Is that? Why is that wild? It's kind of a funny prank, yeah.

Do you know what's... No, whatever. Yeah. Anyway, so we're talking about, we're like, do we want to go to Qatar? We're like, no, I don't really want to go to Qatar. I mean, no offense, Qatar, but like, it didn't feel like the energy was there. Like, it didn't feel like there was the people that were there. Like, if I'm going to watch this game, we're going to go out

and watch a game. I want to watch it with the people. So, it was either we go to Paris and watch the French people watch France go against Morocco,

which obviously, Mark wants to go. Alex was thinking about going as well. Or, we go to Morocco. Now, the energy around an underdog

is so much better. Also, one of my best friends in the entire world happens to be a Moroccan. So, we do have an affinity for Moroccans, okay? Now, who better?

Come on, bro. He's barely French. We thought Dove was Moroccan until we went to Morocco. We realized those people are Moroccan. Dove is white. We realize that you can't speak French. Dove is white. My French was nice, bro.

My French was nice. Bam, bam, bam. Come on, bro. That was rough. That was an eploribus. You eplor. That was rough. That was an eploribus. You eploribus him, bro. You did eploribus him. Anyway, so the night before, the night before, no, two nights before the game, I messaged everybody.

I go, bring a passport and a pair of underwear to the podcast because we still had to record the podcast. We didn't have any tickets booked. We had none of that shit. And I'm talking to Dove all night. I'm like, can we fucking pull this off? Can we go do it? And there's the vlog

that's probably out right now. Some of you guys go check it out. We vlog the whole experience. It's really wild. And so we decide, we go fuck it. We come to the pod.

We basically, right before the podcast starts, I think agree to go. Was it right before or was it even during? Yeah, early. Doug was a little stressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why was Doug stressed? I don't know. I don't know. Why do you look so stressed, Doug? You mean because Andrew wants to leave in a few hours to Morocco with six guys during the World Cup in a city that no one's been to, with equipment we don't have out there yet,

with a place not to view it yet. Hold on. No, we'll be fine. And then he had to do that while we were part of the party. It appears everyone was a little stressed, I think. Like, Akash played it off well, but I could see him a couple times being like, what the fuck are we doing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't like to travel, yo. You don't like to travel. You're a great sport. Like, nobody's a better sport than you. Yeah. But that's not true. Zero notice to go to Africa? You don't like to travel. You're a great sport. Nobody's a better sport than you. Zero notice to go to Africa? You don't like to travel. I committed, and I thought it was going to be so dope, and then the night of, for the night

we committed, and then the day, I was like, yo, we're going to motherfucking Africa? And all I got is a couple pairs of underwear and a toothbrush? What the fuck is happening? It's an adventure, baby. Yeah, it was worth it, but I was like, god damn, it's a lot, yo. We're doing a lot. Be honest. Burning Man, Morocco. Morocco. Not even fucking

close. I disagree, but Morocco's still fire. I just want to let y'all know. Morocco's still fire. Outfit's very similar, but I don't know if I'm saying Morocco is fucking with Burning Man. But anyway, we go. I'm just mad I listened to this motherfucker and only packed underwear.

Oh yeah, I didn't have a toothbrush. They were there for two nights and days. That was the most annoying thing. Bring a backpack and a toothbrush. We all had backpacks. All of a sudden I look at Andrew, he's got a backpack and a bag. We travel for a living. We have the right carry-on bag with the right thing. And Andrew's like, you know, just bring your toothbrush and this. Now look at him. Looks like a homeless at the corner.

I have to lift a fucking heavy duffel. All this money and look what we packed our bags. This is good. This is more exciting. We're going to Africa. We're just taking a backpack. Isn't that way cooler than everybody with their little roll-on bags? God forbid you have to cross it over your shoulder.

This is what he's drinking from New York. This is Christmas. Yeah, because not everything fit. Because I need to support Kid Super. Unlike you selfish pieces of shit. Oh, they can't roll my bag. They don't have streets where we're going. What are you going to do? I got to get my favorite angle here.

Stop. Stop. I'm not going to... Because I had to bring Kid Super stuff. Because we were going to meet Kid Super. Shout out to Colin. Shout out to Kid. And Kid Super was also very motivational in this because he was like, yo, it would be so much more fire if we watched that shit in Morocco. So it was like, alright, let's do it. And he flew from Brazil

that day, like 18 hours. From Spain to some other shit eventually gets to Morocco. Yeah. He meets us the next day, but we go on this flight and Dove is a master

of fucking travel. The guy's booked flights for fucking years. He's lived in Europe every single, but the guy's a master. Like, if there's a flight to be found,

this motherfucker will find it. I'm excited. I'm actually excited to have about seven hours where I can just chill. We're taking this red eye. We get on this flight. That shit takes off. I was searching. I was searching for some Wi-Fi before the flight took off, and I was like, you know, that Wi-Fi probably going to pop up once we get to 10,000 feet.

We're not at 10,000 feet. Why does the plane have a Verizon Wi-Fi? That's weird. Yeah, this is an odd thing. Right? I opened up to 10,000 feet we're not at 10,000 feet yeah why does the plane have a verizon wi-fi that's weird yeah yeah this is odd odd thing right i i opened up at 10 i asked the lady i was like yo are we at 10,000 feet yeah because i didn't even want to know the bad news i wanted to see for myself you had a lady flight attendant yeah well you had men only men oh no they were doing that business class my boy i noticed that was only dudes and i was like huh i wonder what that was about. They were not happy about it. They were kerfuffled.

Wait, really? On my side, there was a big fan of Schultz. So he just kept slipping me wine. Get out of here. No, he said, dude, Schultz got recognized in Morocco so much. It was amazing. It was amazing. He wasn't slipping you wine because he knew you.

He was slipping you wine because Dove goes, oh, yeah, that's my best friend. Did you pull that off? First of all, I just tried to first get him to get me into business class. And that was a consolation. There's something about going closer to the homeland that just brings out the negotiator in him. He's already

He was haggling with the pilot. He was like, can I just sit behind you? Let me just go shotgun. What's wrong with shotgun? You want me up here. You want me up here. I'll DJ. Let me just go shotgun. What's wrong with shotgun? You want me up here. Come on. Yeah, you want me up here. You want me up here. I'll DJ. Let me play music.

Come on, pass off. So we get on this flight. Of course, there's no internet fucking seven hours. Yeah. Okay? We deal with it. We land.

Go to... Almost missed the flight. Oh, shit. That's right. We got to go Casablanca to Marrakesh. Yeah. We finally get to Marrakesh. And then what the fuck happens?

We went straight to the Riyadh. Oh, yeah. The Medina. Yes, yes. So Dove got this beautiful Riyadh that's in the Medina. Shout out to Munim. Do we know the name of it? If you guys ever go to Marrakesh,

this is where you guys should sit. It's called Dar Modah and it's like a five suite boutique hotel in the Shuk. And it's just full service. It was the whole hotel. Remember showing us the roof? Oh, yeah.

Wow. Awesome. Would it be possible to show them the roof? Can I show them the roof? Wow. Wow. Not bad. What?

Bro. What's really cool about some of these little stores is that they look tiny upon the entrance, but then they open up It's just this insane place that has Been built over. I don't know probably thousands of fucking years like yeah, you could never design a place like this Mm-hmm, you know like culture just needs to create a place like this developing organically over thousands of years a lot of rugs that's not a stereotype

no they love rugs they love a carpet yeah yeah for real why do you have to call it a carpet it's a carpet

what is a carpet bro what do you think came first the love of rugs or having to pray five times a day whoa that's a good ass point bro because

you know what I'm saying did prayer five times a day was that a way's a good-ass point, bro. Ah, that's a great point. You know what I'm saying? Did prayer five times a day, was that a way to... They got down there, they were like, this is cool, man. Right? I'm noticing this rug,

I'm thinking about rugs a lot. Or was there like a rug dealer that like hit up Muhammad and he was like, yo, can we up it a few times? Like, I need some wear and tear on these rugs. Yeah, you know what's better

than praying four times? Ah, that's big. I'm just saying, we have to look at that. Yeah, I'm curious. I think the rugs were probably made prior Islam comes around

like what 500 AD sure 600 AD why not let's go with that right yeah

people had rugs before that uh huh Aladdin was flying around in like zero yeah exactly right or wrong how do you know Aladdin wasn't Muslim

he wasn't okay good point you won Ottoman Empire that's a great argument fuck he was Muslim wasn't he was he good point. You won. Ottoman Empire, right? That's a great argument. Fuck, he was Muslim, wasn't he? Was he Muslim?

Yeah, he had to be Muslim. I'm saying. I mean, he wears a fez, right? No. Does Aladdin wear a fez? Yeah. I think he does, bro. He might wear a fez.

Like a low one, I think. Anywho. That's a Moroccan dude. It was just dope. Walking around the souk. We walk around the souk. We go to the square. Yeah. The square's crazy. The square's crazy. Yeah. That the souk. We go to the square. Yeah. The square's crazy. The square's crazy.

Yeah. That's where we're going to watch the game. And during the day, it kind of seems like kind of chill, sort of low-key. It's like Times Square of Morocco, Marrakesh. Yeah. And then the snake charmers. But instead of billboards, yeah, it's snakes and monkeys. And there's literal cobras that are just sitting in the

square, and they're not attached to nothing. They're free-range cobras. Instead of Pokemon to take pictures with, it's snakes and monkeys. Yeah,'s literal cobras that are just sitting in the square and they're not attached to nothing. They're free range cobras. Instead of Pokemon to take pictures with, it's snakes and monkeys. I was surprised how confident you were. You're really good with snakes, bro. No, I'm just saying. I was surprised how brave you were. Why were you so pussy when the snakes What happened?

What happened? I didn't push you. There's no proof of that. Push me into a cobra. No, I didn't. First of all, you have no balance, bro. You pushed me into a cobra. You didn't push me into a cobra. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. First of all, you have no balance, bro. You want to take this outside? I'll 1v1 you right now. Not make all day. There's a snake out there. Like, what's good?

There's a snake out there. Bro, I gave Al a little nudge. And the cobra's staring at him. And then, bro, the way that you freaked out. Bro, he grabbed his ankle trying to get a yellow card. It was... They know that we're coming for the snake, bro. They know it. The music's getting louder.

Hi, everybody. Okay, we're here. I don't even know what to say right now. Oh, that one keeps plunging, bro. Oh, no worry. Did you not get that? Did you not get that? No, no, no, no, no, no.

That's how they get you, boy. Look at that. Oh, shit. What's going on? Take the mic off. Take the mic off. Take the mic off. Look at us. Here we go.

Dude, so we do the snakes. And this is a really annoying thing about the snakes and about the monkeys as well, is that, like, the experience being with them is incredible. Like, there's a fucking cobra right in front of you. Yes. Right? You are photobombing a cobra. It's pretty remarkable.

You're seeing it right there. There's nothing stopping it. I'm sure they defang him or do some horribly, what is it, animal cruelty shit to him, but whatever. But there's something about being around... I don't think so. Come on, bro.

Because the guys around it were very afraid of it, too. Yeah. Dude was throwing fucking rugs and shit on top of it to calm it down. He was praying. I think the snake was praying. Like, he was afraid of it, too. So if he's afraid of it and he's the fucking charming motherfucker, I'm not going near that. You think the Charmin does anything?

I don't think so. No. The drugs do something, though. Oh, yeah. They must be drugging these guys. Yeah. But the snakes are still up. Yeah.

Like, they're still going after. They're on ecstasy. Yeah, this is raving, dude. They just think they're at an EDM festival, and they just hear the music, and they're just bobbing their heads. They start playing the fucking flute they think is Blondish, man. I'm telling you. They're fucking vibing.

They were into it. It was fire. I thought that shit was fake. I thought that was only in the cartoons. But I will say that it really did. The worst thing about it is the way that they kind of hustle you when they leave oh you didn't like that I did not like it man because it's like

all it would take is one group of them because there's a bunch of different snake charmers one group to not do that and then you would tell people to go to that group every single time they want a picture with a snake but like they hustle you they leave their whole portion I don't think that's true if there was one group you think you would go and tell people, like, yo, when you go to Morocco, find this group to take the snake Christmas.

Don't go to the guy with the beard and the hat. There's no trip advisor for snake charmer groups. No, the guy with the beard and the hat named Muhammad, that guy is- These guys are trying to make money however they can make it. That's why they're so aggressive. Not that I liked it, but I get why it's happening. It's a necessity. But you didn't like it, though.

I didn't like it, no. And maybe if there was one that you would like, you would like tell people to go back to that. I wouldn't tell people. Where's the apple snake charm? It would be like the 10th thing on my list to tell people in Morocco. Where to get snake charms right? Yes. Yes.

Yes. Right? Yes. Whoa, whoa, okay, give me the other nine. The least. No, no, give me the other nine things that you're going to tell people to do. Where to buy a jalaba, where to eat, where to stay. Oh, I don't know where you could buy one.

Every fucking store you walk by in the souk. Just ask anyone. Who are the nicest, least aggressive guys there? They're annoying at those stores, too. And you think you're paying for snake charming twice? Say what? You're going to do that snake charming thing twice? You're going to go to one guy who's like, I had a bad experience.

Let me try the next guy. Who's going to do that? He's saying it's a referral-based business. Yeah, I know. I think it is referral-based, yo. Did you sign the exit form? I said word of mouth. You've been to Morocco twice, didn't even know.

You didn't have the reference for yourself. I didn't take no pictures with snakes the first time I was there. What were you doing the first time? I had a wife. Yeah, I'm not doing that wrist-taking ass shit. You mad pussy. You made a way for the fucker. See his wife?

I can't do that shit. You mad pussy. You mad pussy. You're staying away from the fucking thing. You know cameras around, bro? Yeah. You know what I mean? I can't do that shit. But then we went to the- He was an activist before. He's like, no, they're abusing those animals. This is cruel.

This is fucked up what they're doing to these monkeys. Give me one of them goddamn sons of bitches. I feel bad for the monkeys. Me too. You didn't feel bad for nothing, bro. Until it was all me. I was like, oh, this is fantastic. He kept pulling me aside.

He's like, yo, their palms are so soft. I was like, you not allowed to have a monkey. You are not allowed to get a monkey. If you say you getting a pet monkey, bro, I'm calling the authorities, man. You getting that banana beat. They say AIDS started somehow. Son, it's crazy. Patient zero.

Son, you really wouldn't. He kept going. He goes, yo, that monkey's palms are so soft. You had to feel it. Son, it was bad. Son, it was Dove's hands, bro. Come on. Why wouldn't you like it to a woman's hands?

Yeah, what is that? This motherfucker is weird. His hands are softer than a woman's hands. Than any woman's hands? Yes, yes. I mean, they might be. They really are. Dove got some soft ass hands.

That's an alley-oop. If you're listening right now and you're a girl and you ever meet Dove and I'm there, I will for sure throw the alley-oop to Dove by making you touch his hands. It's one of my favorite things to help you get pussy. Yeah, you need the help. Has that ever gotten me pussy? Is it, though? I mean, has he had sex with a lot of people?

Has he had sex with a lot of fans, though? Yo, this is the other thing that he, yo, Dove, first of all, if you're a fan of this podcast, you support this podcast, or you come out to the stand-up shows, Dove forgot about you. What-up shows, Dove forgot about you. What do you mean? What do you mean? Dove forgot about you.

If you hooked up with Dove, he forgot. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy that he could actually say that he's never hooked up with a fan of the pod or a fan of the stand-up? Yeah. What fan have I ever slept with? That is real. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, say it again.

I'm going to not talk if you keep doing it. What do you think he's supposed to do, dog? He's shooting out on purpose like that. Like what? On purpose like that. I would never. Like what? That's not getting you that much closer,

you're going to get your nose, bro. That's what I'm saying. That's what every girl sees when she has sex with you. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, but it's multiple girls. Do you see how that works in my life? But what were you saying? What was the story?

You have sex with a lot of fans or something like that? No fans. You've never had sex with a fan of the pod? Not one time. I hooked you up with a fan of the pod. You just couldn't close. That's on you. She had a boyfriend.

So you've never slept with a fan of the pod or like a fan of the stand-up? Not one time. I met a girl at a TV show. Stop fucking my fans bro Bro Bro that's a little bit That's egregious Not once

That's just I want everyone to Not one time Like Why even cap Why even cap It's such a lie No

It's really not though That's all you got It's But it's actually not true I've met a girl At a comedy club And you were one of the Showcase artists But it wasn actually not true. I've met a girl at a comedy club, and you were one of the showcased artists, but it wasn't your show.

It wasn't the podcast. She happened to have an Andrew Schultz shirt. I get some DMs sometimes, sure. That's coincidental. The DMs aren't coincidental, but I'm not hooked up with them. They don't like him for you, though. They like him for his charm.

You've lobbed me up in a non-podcast comedy way. I'm good. I'm a good wingman. But I'm just speaking facts. But am I a good wingman or am I not? Oh, gosh, it's better. Wow. I'm legitimately one of the best wingmen ever.

I can't believe that that's real. Wow. Mark is the worst. Mark is an actual piece of shit. I'm just a bird, bro. Mark is an actual piece of shit. I'm just a bird, bro. Mark is an actual piece of shit. You don't need a wing, bro. I'm just a bird.

Mark is an actual bad person. Can I tell the story? I got to tell the story. We went down to do a show in Philly. Dove took a girl down to Philly to go watch the show, right? The girl gets a ride back to New York with Mark because Dove's such a cheap fuck, he don't want to pay for her Uber back to New York, right? The girl gets a ride back to New York with Mark because Dove's such a cheap fuck, he don't want to pay for her Uber

back to New York, right? So gets a ride back to it with Mark, never talks to Dove again. Something's happened. So Dove just goes, Mark, what were you talking to this girl about that made her decide

that she never needs to see me again? What's the opposite of winning. I bet they still talk. Platonically, of course, but I bet they still maintain a friendship. I'm friends with Dove friends, bro. That's all. What was the other one?

She did hit me up a month ago. Dove brought a girl into the studio, bro. Unbelievable. Dove brought a girl into the studio. I come in, and the way Mark and her are chatting, I assume she's, like, about to get a job here. Because they're just having a formal, lengthy discussion. And then I talk to Dub, and he's like, yeah, I brought her here after a date.

And then Mark's been talking to her for two hours. One-on-one. He goes, I just had to leave. That's the worst wingman ever. He left the room, and they were just talking. Just chatting. The worst wingman ever He left the room And they were just talking Just chatting The worst Just chatting And it's just so shitty

Because you're a great husband And you have no interest In these women And you just still talk to them And waste everyone's time Just chatting Just chatting It's so shitty

Why you gotta chat in a way Where nobody gets pussy It like actually bothers me Just chatting bro What's wrong with a guy That's chatting dude But how do you find a way To talk everybody out of pussy?

What are you talking about, bro? You not getting pussy, he not getting pussy. He's like, if I ain't getting nothing, nobody is. That's what he's doing. Are you saying Dub can't close? Are you saying Dub can't close? Now when you... You're saying Dub can't close.

E por besuno! E por besuno! Are you going to let him say that about you? Yo, that's crazy. Because I say you're a closer. I say you're a closer. Yeah, so nothing that I do could get in the way of... Mariano Rivera right here, bro. I was let him say that about you? Yo, that's crazy. Because I say you're a closer. I say you're a closer. Yeah, so nothing that I do could get in the way of you. Mariano Rivera, right?

I was about to say that. But what Mark does now is what you started to do in college when you turned a psychology major. And after you read the game. He got pussy, though. He did. Yeah. His friends around him. What Mark does is just psychotic.

But that's why it's worse when Mark does it. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You don't think that I was opening up the door for them to him to go all... Oh, so he wouldn't got no pussy without you is what you're saying? I helped him. God damn, son. You ain't had no riz back in college, bro. E-plurgis.

E-plurgis. Damn. He said you ain't have no riz in college, son. My riz was crazy in college. I had suspenders. He said L-riz back in college. I had all was crazy in college. I had suspenders. He's a L Riz back in college. I had all sorts of things. They never served anyone else.

Oh, God forbid I try to get some pussy from me. Suspenders? Whatever. He had a top hat, bro. You were the Six Flags guy? He had a monocle. You were the Six Flags guy, bro? Monocle.

He'd come into the bar. Monocle. Tear drop. The more things that they could talk about, gotcha. Do you understand? If you walk and talk about one thing, gotcha. It's that simple. I need duff.

Fuck, I need duff. He needed them. He had props, though. He's saying, he's saying. You crazy, bro. I have teardrop tattoos. I have teardrop tattoos. My name was the carrot top I'm picking up with.

Yes, bro. What's in the box? Bro, he was like, me. That's who's in the box, me. He was like, me. That's who's in the box. Me. He was like a souk. He was in the souk, bro. He was just slinging wares.

That's it. John was out of here. Why Doug want me to do too much work to get him and me pussy, bro? It's like, she got a friend. The girl I'm talking to got a friend. Some lonely ass girl needs you. What do you mean? Why can I not be out here in the world?

He just kept throwing you alleys. That's what it sounds like. I feel like Al is translating really well right now. You're translating it perfectly. Al ain't got no pussy. Motherfucker's still in cable packages. They got the free shadows, though. You have to free channel your way into pussy.

Give you some each. You did magic tricks, bro. You did magic tricks. That's not magic. Abracadabra. Here's Showtime. He's never seen them. No, I upgraded them to that triple package, baby.

I'm just saying, bro. You was paying for pussy. No. They were paying me for pussy. No? Yeah. No, because giving them the packages means you can't get the money. I made money off them and got pussy.

No, because you're giving the package, you're making less money. What are you talking about? I was a gigolo, bro. I was a gigolo. I can teach you something. That's crazy, son. I can prove your riz right now. We really find this out right now. Your riz was paying money.

They paid me. You're a square. You're a square, bro. Blue square right there. I didn't know. Blue square right there. We out here. We out here.

You know what? I didn't know. I didn't know. Mad girls watch Sopranos because they suck the hell off. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. Wait, what?

They watch Sopranos because they sucked you off. Because they sucked you off. They got to watch HBO Is that a bad thing saying you got a lot of people on that show? I mean, it's a great show. So thank you You're welcome. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome All I'm trying says you pay for pussy bro Wait for this motherfucker to step up I got him off you and you can't even give me a little, where's my alley? Yo.

Where's my alley? Dove is exhausted right now. You thought a blocker wants 36 hours to get your ass brutalized in negotiations, and now you're just tired? That was rough, dude. Okay. I felt like I saw a hero fall. Can we talk about this? Okay, so Dove was an absolute all-star when we were in the souk, and he is, like, in his element.

He's negotiating with everybody. He loves to walk away from these motherfuckers. Keep in mind, these motherfuckers have been drinking mint tea since they're three years old. They got no teeth, teeth rotting like crazy, corn nuts. Their whole mouth is corn nuts. And Dove is still grinding these motherfuckers, bro. I mean, he got a price. They would come up 1,000 Durham, right?

Andrew's trying to buy a flag in this particular negotiation. I was just trying to buy a flag. 1,000 Durham for a Moroccan flag. Dove comes in, dude. Hot. These people live in huts, bro. Dove grew up in Beverly Hills. These people grew up in huts.

Huts, bro. They said, we'll do 600. Dove was like, I'm not doing that. They said, okay, fine, 500. Dove goes, I'm not going below. Walks away. Yeah. Then they chased him.

They said, what do you want? He says, 350. I'm not going any Durham above 350. They say, we can't do that. We'll lose money. He says, okay, well, then it is what it is. Walks away again. Everybody starts walking. They chase us down 100 feet, and they're like, hey, we'll give you your flag. So $350 is essentially $35, okay? Grinding a man down. 65% off what he asked. It didn't help that you were the worst wingman in the negotiation. Why? Why? Because you were bargaining for the guy. I thought there was good quality. You% off what he asked. It didn't help that you were the worst wingman in the negotiation. Why? Why?

Because you were bargaining for the guy. I thought there was good quality. You were bargaining for the guy. I thought it was good quality. I touched it. I was like, this guy is more than $35? Jones comes in and goes, no, no, no. Got to go up.

Got to go up. And it's Andrew's flag, which is funny. He's a fan of yours. I thought it was good. I thought the flag was nice quality. I wanted to respect the country we're in. I want to undercut him for a flag. I was working with them.

I was on their side. I was actually trying to destroy Dove because I don't want him to save any money and make him feel good about himself. This is nice material. This is 600. This is 600. 500 snow?

No, too little. Too little. 600. Just to try to cop out Dove. This guy did that with women too, bro. 100%. Yeah, he's Mark Wingmanning right now Some girl's talking to Dove

And Andrew comes in and goes This guy? You can do better than this guy What about that guy? That's what you do I'm not gonna lie I have done that I have done that, bro

I did come on And I would observe him with my monocle I'm like, are you sure? She got to look at him She's like, thank God a detective is here This is so good This is really good Anyway, so Dove got to pay $35 for this shit, right?

It's for him, not for me. It ain't even my flag. It was for one shit that he wanted, right? So he got to pay $35. So he pays him with two $20 bills. American 20s. You can pay with American out here because the boys are here. Everybody except American.

Remember that, world? You don't got currency. Finally, you coming back. What do you mean you coming back? You know your boy's American all day. You switched up a little bit. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. What colors am I wearing right now?

Okay. I like that. All right. Stupid. Anyway, so... So, we get... So, Dove gives him two $20 bills

American right but we walk away Dove is on cloud nine he just broke this midget Moroccan guy's back the guy is four feet nine inches tall he didn't get nutrients

as a kid no nutrients at all he's talking about his children no teeth he goes go 50 50 dirham I want to give him 50 dirham

and just because of you guys. You want to tip all these guys. Give him a tip afterwards. Dove's walking away. His strut is different. Did you give him a tip? Did you give him a tip? Bro, Dove's tip is toothbrush. That's it. That's it. No, no, no. After I get my price, I give him something on top

and I say thank you. No, no, no. You're taking my thing. This guy's a piece of shit. You're a fucking liar. You're a terrible tipper. We're going to go back. We're going to go back. We're going to go back. You're mad I cock-blocked him? Really?

This guy? Let's go back to the story. 480. No, no, no. 480. Tomorrow we'll be back. Okay. That's content.

Walking away. I'm in my element. I love it. Blah, blah, blah. So we leave him. I am in. Okay? We go back.

Dove is paid the $40. We're down the souk. People from the souk are coming up to him to sell him other shit, and he's just Heisman. He goes, no, no, no. French, no, no, no, no. He was walking like a ball. No, no, no, no, no. Friends, no, no, no. He was walking like a ball.

No, no, no, no, no. Right? He's just so, it's like there's that, what is it, Saturday Night Fever music. You can tell by the way I do my walk that I'm a lazy, know how to talk. Anyway, we know none of them words. So all of a sudden, the dude that he sold the shit from comes back with a $20 bill, the American $20 bill in his hands, right? Runs back, he goes, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir. What is this? This don't work. This don't work.

So Dove goes, what do you mean it doesn't work? Now, in that moment, he's accusing Dove of using fake currency. He's holding up to the light and shit. Dove just starts to freak out. Anyone have 200 on them and they'll take this? So I go. In that moment, I'm like, I thought that my friend was a piece of shit. But I didn't think it's possible for my friend to go to his home country with fake American dollars

and buy things from the midgets with no teeth that are trying to provide eek out a lifestyle for their families and negotiate down. Just give him a thousand fake. The fact that he wouldn't even give him

a thousand fake, all fake is zero. The fact that you thought this about one of your oldest friends. Bro, one of my best friends in the entire world. My best friend's the entire, like, he's literally the fucking rabbi at my wedding, right? In that moment, I'm like, I get why they kicked him out of every country. Like, everything felt justified in that moment, right? And then all of a sudden, Dove takes out another 20, gives it to the guy. For some reason reason this fucking guy

trusts the new 20 it came from Akash oh it came from Akash whatever gives it back to him Al goes oh shit he got him

I turn to Al I go what you mean he got him what do you mean Dove tried to give him a fake 20 and he got him he goes nah

they got Dove I go why the fuck they got Dove Al goes they switched out their 20s for a fake 20 He goes, nah, they got Dove. I go, why the fuck they got Dove? Al goes, they switched out their 20s for a fake 20. And came back and made Dove give them another real 20. That was one of the craziest things ever. So now Dove, who thought he was going to pay $35, really paid $55.

We start laughing at Dove. Oh, you just got bodied in negotiation. You know what this motherfucking piece of shit goes? It was Akash who gave him the $20. This guy. He's a horrible negotiator. That's what you get. You got bodied, bro.

Bent over, rinsed out. Hold on. I got some Berber boner powder if you want to get that shit again. Did you ever get that 20 back? No. This guy's a son of a bitch. No, no. Did you have a nice 36 hours in Morocco? Yo, Dove swears he's doing us a favor by doing his job.

Here's what actually happened. He gets cock-blocked once a list that they ran it back. No, no, no. He tried to run it back. We didn't do that. No, they came back again. And then Dove gave him 200 Durham. Yeah.

So you got fleeced twice. Fleeced twice, bro. He got fleeced twice. Nah, bro. Pull out the 20 he gave you. Pull out the 20. Nah, bro. Pull out the 20.

Do you still have it? I didn't get fleeced. I fleeced the Indian guy in support of my Moroccan brothers. Wow. No, because then you gave him 200 of your Durham. And then he gave me and then he gave me the second counterfeit 20 and I spent both them shits.

Suck my dick, nubs. Wow. Hey, I spent the same amount from the start. It's some of your money but it's back in the system. No, you didn't spend. You spent an extra 200 Durham

from your money. It was fake money. I never had Durham. I kept on taking Durham from Mark. Yeah, isn't that convenient? What? Dude, you're the worst person than Mark.

Thank you. The guy the whole time. Oh, does anyone have cash? Every taxi, we go, does anyone have cash? I just brought underwear. Every restaurant. I got three days worth of clothes. Yeah, just underwear.

I just can't believe I let them get you with that shit. And he gave me the fake 20s. He goes, oh, here you go, Mark. Fake 20s. Did you use it? No, bro, it's fake. Nah, come on. How dare you? Because the first 20, all right goes, oh, here you go, Mark. Fake 20s. Did you use it? No, bro. It's fake. Nah, come on. How dare you?

Because the first 20, all right, maybe it was a fluke. But they ran the same game on you twice and you fell for it. That's disrespectful. That's disrespectful. You did fall for it. He said it after the first time. Take it. Hey, can you tell them the cherry on top of this whole story about flag purchases?

What happened? Is as we're walking back to the Riyadh, we see another flag. Andrew buys the same exact flag Dove has for $150. I'm a better negotiator. And what I do, what you try to take, I negotiate down because they like the game, and then I just give them the original price that they wanted afterwards. I already said that a couple minutes ago. Go to the tapes.

Never have I been more angry at you. This is actually— Never have I— Masterful. Masterful. Masterful. Never will Dove pay a penny more. I invented catch and release. I catch and release with the souk workers.

They give me a price. I negotiate down. We agree on a lower price. And then I give them the full price anyway because why am I negotiating with these people who need the money? I'm a good person. I'm a good person who goes to Morocco and wants to put money in the Moroccan economy, not fake

$20 bills like you, son of a bitch. Trying to steal my goddamn e-pillow from a sunu. How dare he, bro? How dare he? Listen, we got a lot of money for flags and jerseys and jalabas, and you had a good time. Yo, it was good. My cock blocking is not so bad anymore. You noticed that, right? I'm the Dexter of wingmanning. That's what I do. I kill the bad guys. Yo, it was good. My cock blocking is not so bad anymore.

You noticed that, right? I'm the Dexter of wingmanning. That's what I do. I kill the bad guys. Son, Dove was getting so fucking annoyed at Al. So here's the thing about Al. How did I do this trick?

I didn't drive. No, you fucked up. If Al, here's the thing about Al. Al is a self-starter. Like, he can do most things by himself. He really can.

No, no. You're like, like, I was trying to finish this sentence. I'm just saying. Al can figure out most things. If you just go, Al, you put him in a room like, Al, I need you to figure out how to fix an air conditioning, Al will go on YouTube.

He'll figure out an air conditioning or whatever. If you do one thing for Al, he will never do that thing again and rely on you to do that thing for Al, he will never do that thing again and rely on you to do that thing forever. So he became completely, he, quadriplegic. I'm learning,

I'm learning. At one point he goes, we're at a dinner, we're at a dinner and he goes, Doug, could you ask the waiter for some salt?

They speak English in the restaurant. Everybody speaks English. The waiters all look the restaurant. Everybody speaks English. The waiters all look the same. Doug just goes, I'm off duty. I'm off duty. What is this? It was wild.

I don't know who speaks English or not and shit. Salt? Yeah, but he was having fun showing off he speaks French and shit. He was having so much fun. Your French is nice. How was my French? It was incredible. That's why I wanted to give you opportunities to keep using it. Now it's nice. How was my French? It was incredible. That's why I was like,

I wanted to give you opportunities to keep using it. Now it's okay. I didn't know Mark's wasn't good until I heard yours. I thought Mark's was good. You were speaking like... Thank you, bro. His French is like his soccer knowledge, bro. Like it's the same.

As long as there's no French people around, my French is amazing. Yeah, exactly. Incomplete sentences, the waiters. I swear there's multiple times... He would talk to them. They would look at him a little confused. Multiple times they were like, what?

Because that's their second language. Doug comes in and like, clear. They're not that strong with French. That's their second language. Exactly. That's why I asked him. He said, like, order a tequila for Shifty. It's okay.

Shifty was legal in Morocco. And I'm like, tequila. That's how you say tequila in Morocco. You're from your waiters. Codependence. Dove me again on a bed, bro. What? Remember when we first get to the Riyadh? Oh, yeah. You're from your way. Codependence. But Dove me again on a bed, bro. What? Remember when we first get to the Riyadh?

Oh, yeah. And there's an extra single room. That's the whole thing happened. That's the whole thing happened. So Dove immediately is on it trying to get this single room to himself. He didn't realize that once he gets the single room, the double that me and him would have to share becomes a single for me. So when I realized that, I was like, all right, cool.

Once I point that out to him, he's like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm taking that room. I was like, no, you just went so hard to get this single room. You got it. Everybody agreed that you got it. And then once I pointed that out, you're like, no, no, no, no, I'm going to this room. I was like, but Dov, that's not fair. He's like, we're here for 36 hours. Is that not fair? Some bullshit that he booked the trip. And I was like, you got it.

Dove wants extra special treatment for doing what he's supposed to do. That's way worse than my shit. No, no, but he's supposed to book it. He's the producer. He's supposed to produce the trip. And he'd be telling me throughout the trip, he'd be like, does anybody care that I did this? No! I'm supposed to be funny on the trip. You're supposed to produce the trip.

These are the roles. I don't go to everybody, hey, hey, hey, can I get some appreciation I was funny when Shifty turned on the goddamn rock and tell? Why not ask for appreciation?

For the room? Every goddamn day. It's a tequila for Shifty. Can you just order it? No That's how you know This guy's a bad tipper That's how you know

That's how you know That's how you know Him Him I agree him Hold on go ahead You want something extra For bringing the plate?

Oh you brought me the whole plate I paid for the plate You want something extra? Son Come on son You want something extra I gotta show gratitude For you doing your job

20% extra gratitude For you doing your job. 20% extra gratitude for you doing your job. Let me tell y'all something. Y'all gonna make me a bad tip. Y'all gonna make me lean in. Y'all gonna make me lean in and just know it's their fault. Just know that. It's their fault. Notice he just needs an excuse to not.

Finally. Anyway. This is the thing. You guys don't know about Dove. Dove is the most selfless person who will want to make sure everybody has the greatest time no matter where they go. And he did. As long as Dove is comfortable. So the goal is when we do travel or anything with Dove is, just make sure he's settled and comfortable first.

Because once that happens, his heart will pour out to make sure everybody has everything that they possibly want. Is that a fair thing? They go at the same time, but yeah, close. Close. At least if we get that situated, then you can focus on making the best thing. He's calling everybody. He's making sure we have the best nightlife, the best restaurants. He took care of us.

He took care of us in the most amazing way possible. So I know that. So when I get to a place, I'm looking at what the best room is. I'm making sure Dove can't have that. And then just annoying him for like a good hour and a half. That's usually how I want it to be. I was wondering. I had to turn like 20 minutes deciding room.

Well, no, because I got to calculate what game he's running. That's the problem. I'm like 20 minutes deciding rooms. Well, no, because I got to calculate what game he's running. Oh, yeah. That's the problem. I'm like, what this motherfucker up to, right? So I kind of watch him look at rooms. And now I know he knows that I'm watching him. So he's been looking at rooms like, ooh, this is a beautiful one. I ain't falling for that.

You got to listen to all the cues. You just tried to fake 20. You know what I mean? I'm not going to fall for the fake 20. Here's the thing. You're priced out of this. And then he got me. You're priced out of this. He got me. He tried to do this to me once.

He tried to go, ooh, this bathroom is amazing. He's in the bathroom in this one. I ain't gonna shower. I'm here 36 hours. Who uses a goddamn bathroom, dog? He's showering? Okay, go, go.

No, no, no. Now you're priced out of that. So you can't be in this group. I'll tell you what you just said. I do that with these guys. Oh, I know you do. I did that with Al. So Al, look at your single. Do you have a single? No

But you did get a single your first night, okay Notice dove truffle himself a single Yo, Dove is a savage. That's crazy. Notice Dove truffled himself a single. Ain't that so? I know, right? That's crazy. By the way, I want to renegotiate this. This is too profiled.

You were facing it directly, and then we started talking that shit, and you had to turn over to the boys. Anyway. Yeah. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah, Dove. Happy Hanukkah. Walkonik.

Remember when we... Heykah Hey yo Say it again Leave it in Leave it in You really look like You just got out of prison bro You're full nation of Islam What are you talking about Nah the beanie

The beanie Yeah and the glasses Like you've been reading And you finally got your GED Yeah exactly You know what I mean Malcolm X with it Yeah exactly

Okay And then we got back to the Medina. And then we watched the game. And then you got recognized. Oh, yeah. I got... You got recognized everywhere. Shout out to the motherfuckers out there in Morocco.

We got some supporters out there in Morocco. Who's the funniest guy alive? What's he doing? Dave Chappelle. Would you like to take a look at my store? You should bring Joe here. That would be so cool, man. I'm a big fan, by the way. If you, Joe, the whole... my store? You should bring Joe here. That would be so cool, man.

I'm a big fan, by the way. If you, Joe, the whole... You got good taste. The whole group. Yeah, yeah. Welcome, guys. So, I would like to show you that, if you've seen. What is that?

That's some powerful shit. God damn. What's this? This is the mint. The mint crust is. That's crazy. It's really good. That is crazy.

You can drink it right now. can drink it with cheese and milk. What is that? Berber Viagra. I can't do it right now. Don't, don't. What is this for, Mark? It's for erection. This one, you buy it, and then you buy a jaleba.

Okay, we'll take that one too. That one too. That one too. Just six guys on a trip, dude. Some Berber Viagra. What could go wrong? I ain't try. I left that shit there.

I don't trust that shit. You left it? Yeah. Yo, what was the one that was hot? I'm about to bring fucking white powder across the border from Morocco. Bruh. Bruh. I mean, good point. Bruh.

Thank you. You could have brought the boner shit. Bring the boner shit, dude. Yeah, that must look like a spice. Yeah, the boner shit maybe I should have done. Whatever. We'll get back out there to Morocco. We could have had it with breakfast, bro.

That'd be awesome. Son, it is true. When you got spices that were like, I believe in every one of them spices. Like after, because he was making us breathe some shit that cleared our sinuses and all this other stuff. I don't know if this shit works or not, but you felt a little change initially.

And I was like, yo, pharmaceuticals are bullshit. All you need is that. He was crunching up pepper or whatever. Yes. And it was changing me. I could breathe. Yeah. You remember it?

I remember that. He put it in everybody's nostrils and then mine. I was like, And it was changing me. I could breathe. Yeah. You remember it? I remember that. He put it in everybody's nostrils and then mine. I was like, you could have done these. A little early. You didn't have to wait until I go last.

Because you remember he had that one in the thing and you put it up in your nose? Yeah, yeah. He did me last. I was like, I don't know why you had to do me last.

I got to sniff all these motherfuckers' noses too? And Bobby, y'all just putting your shit in everybody's nose? Yo, did we sniff his sinus infection? No, bro. Probably, man. Is Mark sick again? I'm not sick. No you sound great. What about me sounds sick?

Sound great clown red Because you put me in the back of the plane But we're all supposed to get first-class seats with the healthy people and you put me the fucking back Why were we all supposed to get first-class seats because we're a squad, bro. He plurbed his unum, dog. That's us. That was us, remember? Out of many, one gets business class and the rest

do where they sit. He plurbed his unum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how that shit went. I was next to a sick guy. That's what happened. Al's business class. Yeah.

Y'all really should all do that. We're walking in and all of a sudden- Al got a post on his Instagram story within 30 seconds. There's no one on the plane. How did you do that? That's how I had to beat it.

Within 30 seconds of sitting in a first class seat, immediately upload, then they kicked his ass out. He went back to his party. I slept wonderfully on that. You and Akash got on the plane. Shifty and I are standing over here. We're about to board. Alex is with us.

All of a sudden, he just disappears. And I see him at the counter of he had already worked out his upgrade. It was clean as fuck because he didn't tell nobody. He didn't tell 700. Maybe I would have paid that as well. That's fair.

I didn't know that that was something he was working on after all the things. He just... He's upset at you for not telling. Yo! Alex. Shit. Alex, hold on.

Alex, you realize that Dove booked the whole trip? Did you know that? Why didn't you tell him since he booked the whole trip? Yeah, shit. Why didn't I tell him that? Why didn't you tell him, bro? Why didn't you tell me? That's fucked up.

That is fucked up for you, bro. He booked the whole trip. It's crazy that you could have booked yourself on this thing. No, no, no. I had to book for everyone. But it was already booked. Why didn't you just get that upgrade? Yeah.

No, I went through our travel coordinator. Were you afraid of losing another negotiation? Wow. I went through our travel coordinator. By the way, I'll put it on your credit card. No, it's not. It is. Sorry.

Yo, why do you lie on people? I know, right? He's just mad because he got truffled. You backed. Lying number one. You backed. That was crazy. He actually believes that.

You just lied right there. I know. Now I know he's going to believe you about anything, especially my strategy. You're going to call your accountant right after this podcast. Dove the stallion, bro. Yep. Yep.

Okay, so then we go to watch the game. Okay. Oh, Kid Super shows up. Oh, yeah. Kid Super shows up. We go back in the soup. We get gar stallion, bro. Yup. Yup. Okay, so then we go to watch the game. Okay. Yeah, oh, Kid Super shows up. Oh yeah, Kid Super shows up, we go back in the suit, we get garbed the fuck up. All out here in the robo. We all get the jalabas. We got the jalabas, or the jalabas, whatever the fuck it's called. I brought one outfit, so I probably need a garb, and then we need way

more Moroccan merch than what we have currently. Whichever one you have six of. How much is he asking for? Whatever it is, you'll pay more. What's your price? Your price, not my price. Very good. How much?

I want the second one. No, no, 500. Okay. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. He's the best tipper in the game, you don't know? Ah! 350, but we'll pay 500 per turn because of Morocco.

I did say more because he's the best tipper in the game. Wow. What's going on right now? I was working with them. I was on their side. I was actually trying to destroy Dov because I don't want him to save any money and make him feel good about himself. Played yourself. Did I play myself? You're the best though. How much?

425. Is it good? 300. For good luck. Okay, well 425. Is it good? 300. For good luck. Okay, well I'm supposed to go under. Sorry. 200! We're already wearing it. I don't think we have much leverage. 250. I'll show you leverage. Please! Please!

No, no. Don't beg. Don't beg. Please! How much? 100. 100. Yesterday it was 100 each. Where's the money? Two of them. 200. No, no, mate. Normal I will start with you for 400 to find the tree. I got it yesterday for 100. I go to the other guy. Where's that? Two of them, 200. No, no, mate.

Normal, I will start with you for 400 to find the tree. I got it yesterday for 100. I go to the other guy. It's okay. Schultz walked away. We didn't think it was going to happen. And then the guy says, sir. For the good luck. For the good luck.

Oh, hey. Look, this is how it's done. We make good business. Yeah. It's not good business if you give me $100 for these two. I will see you at the end. Oh, my friend, you're famous. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I am Captain Amerikesh. We're looking absolutely beautiful. Mark calls me Captain Amerikesh. I thought that was a great pun. That was great. That's you, bro. We all go out to watch the game Torrential Downpour.

Yes. I mean... It's never rained in Morocco in the history of the pun. That was great. That's you, bro. We all go out to watch the game Torrential Downpour. Yeah. Yes. I mean... It's never rained in Morocco in the history of the country. Wild windy. Never one time has it rained. Never.

I thought it was a desert. It was... Wind, ridiculous snakes flying everywhere, monkeys going fucking crazy. Like Wizard of Oz. Wizard of Oz-esque winds. Like Jumanji.

Joe, and we had booked seats. It's this huge outdoor plaza. There's one little balcony thing where you can get seats. We found front row seats on the balcony. We're going to watch the game. Also, front row seats to what, though? To the plaza. But where's the game?

It's on a projector. On the other side of the square this big. Come on, son. I thought about that when they were talking about it. I was like, yo, we're going to be kind of far from this shit. I thought that shit. I was like, nah, let me not ruffle feathers. But I should have said something.

We got fucked on that one. Nah, we got fucked. No, we had a backup option, which you wanted so you can get an overhead view to shoot if there were 40,000 people in the square. That's also true. It was good planning until Hurricane. Having a backup. Yeah. But where did we end up watching it?

Right in front of the giant screen. But listen, so we go watch the game. Torrential downpour. It's backup. Yeah. But where did we end up watching it? Right in front of the giant screen. But listen, so we go watch the game, Torrential downpour, it's the second half, it miraculously stops raining. Yeah. Morocco is playing absolutely unbelievable. Losing 1-0.

Kind of a lucky goal. Lucky-ass goal six minutes into the game. Whatever. The people in the square start to fill in. The energy in the square is crazy. Everyone watching it it all over. Dominating. This right side of the ball, this guy Hakimi.

God bless him. Hakimi. So good. So fucking good. I mean, they got everybody on lock. Yep. Great shots on goal. Nonstop. Shots on goal.

Shots on goal. Shots on goal. Cannot convert. Mark, what the fuck happened? I don't know. I don't know. Morocco is playing out of their minds. Amazing game.

Outplayed France. I think one of the first times an African team made it to the semifinals. The first one that made it. The first Arab country to make, well... Arab? Arab nation is what I heard. Berbers.

They're Berbers. Moroccans like to be called African. North African. Well, the first North African and the first Muslim country. First Maghrebis. That's for sure. Facts.

Maghrib. Dima Maghrib. My point is, we went there for this underdog story. It did not end up happening. And if every time you followed an underdog, they succeeded, then they wouldn't be underdogs, would they?

Yeah. But we're going to keep following these fucking underdogs. We're going to keep rooting for the impossible because it is so sensational and the energy is amazing around it. I'm really glad that we went. It sucks that we didn't get the exact result, rooting for the impossible because it is so sensational and the energy is amazing around it. I'm really glad that we went.

It sucks that we didn't get the exact result, but maybe, maybe, maybe it's not about the results. It's about the friends you make along the way. There you go. It's about the journey, Al. That was beautiful. The adventure.

It's about the adventure, man. We out here for the adventure. You know what I'm saying? Bro. Hey, Dove. Dove, let's do a shot, Dove. Dove, can we do a little shotski? Come on.

Come on. Shouts to Jaeger. Yo. Also, I do want to say this, right? Because, listen. This is, hold on one second. Oh, I do want to say this, right? Because, listen. This is, hold on one second. Oh, shit. Fuck.

Come on, bro. My bad. Okay, I do want to say this shit because we've had Jaeger here on the podcast. You've never seen Jaeger, you know, displayed like that. And we were talking to Jaeger, right? And, you know, they were saying that they want to do some stuff with us. Now, Jaeger sponsored this adventure that we went on to Morocco. They've actually asked me not to say that they did.

But I do want to say, I do want to talk about why it's important that we say what they did. They really just wanted this to be organic. They wanted to just put the fucking bottle right there. And what I'm doing right now might breach contract, but we'll work on that with them. But I think it's really important because when we were talking to Jaeger, and Column, Kid Super, is sponsored by Jaeger. And he was the one who was like,

yo, you gotta see these guys. They have this crazy idea. They wanna go to Qatar, et cetera. I've never worked with a company that has given so much creative wiggle room and control to myself or our group before. Literally the day of, we don't even have it confirmed. We switched the plans. Originally, we were just going to do a watch party here, and they wanted to sponsor it. And we literally said to them, yo, we got a crazy idea. We want to go on

adventures. That's what the fuck this podcast is about. We like taking, not a fuck that, but we would like taking these moments to go have these incredible experiences. And we want to switch it from a live stream. We want to go to fucking Morocco. Are you down to do it? You know how many positions there are on the corporate chain that you have to get you know a confirmation from approval from constantly like they just came back and immediately just said yeah yeah and i think it's important to point that out because ideally we deliver an incredible product ideally you guys you know fuck with it but i loved working with a company that just lets us make cool shit and i think that we made a way cooler thing a live live stream would have been great. We would have done something awesome.

But it's different than going to Africa for 36 fucking hours and being part of this amazing adventure. Generally speaking, I would just put them here and have the, what is it called when you just have a product placement? Do the product placement. But I want to compliment them and their

employees and just the people there that really just are investing in creators. It was really cool to do these things. I hope that we have delivered something that blows them away. I really do hope that because I want to continue

doing these adventures. We're going to continue doing them no matter what. The reality is we were on our way to fucking Morocco not knowing if they were going to say yes or not. And then we landed, because remember, there's no internet. We're buying these tickets. We're out. And then we don't have the – on the plane, there's seven hours where we're like, are we paying for this?

You know what I mean? And then landing to that confirmation is just fucking cool, and I just really salute them. I think it's awesome that they do it. And I hope more brands do that that and I hope we can blow these things up in a way that other brands go hey, maybe we gotta let creators create. I hope that letting

creators create makes the brand more popular and then other brands start going, hey, let's stop getting in the way. So much red tape and executives giving notes and shit. They literally told me not to do this. I just want to point this out right now. So maybe this is the best way to start the relationship.

That's the exact thing. They're like, we don't want you to be too forced. We don't want you to ask. We just want to be organic. But I do think that this is the most authentic way to put it. I thought it was so fucking cool that they did this. Yeah. And the stuff they do with Kid Super is sick, too.

It's awesome. If you don't know Kid Super, obviously, he's like a fashion designer, artist, creative guy in New York, like from New York. He just makes the sickest stuff. Super talent, yeah. And they are sponsoring him to make a space. It's awesome. If you don't know Kid Super, obviously he's like a fashion designer, artist, creative guy in New York, like from New York and just makes the sickest stuff. Super talent, yeah. And they are sponsoring

him to make a space. It's amazing. It's amazing. Out there in Brooklyn. Matter of fact, if you'd like to know more about Kid Super, look at this.

What's up everybody? It's Captain Amerikesh here in Morocco. Your boy Schultzy. We're just in New York doing a podcast but we're lucky enough to have one of my favorite creatives.

One of the great New York creative minds. We got Kid Super, not in the motherfucking building, in the motherfucking Riyadh. And we're out here watching a game together. And I thought that it was only right that we give some of the people at home a little glimpse into the genius that is Kid Super. I'm saying all these great things about him. Please do not be embarrassed when I say make sure you hold that fucking mic up to your mouth. These are our microphones. We are doing it

third world. It's third world right now. We're keeping it very third world with our first world cell phones. Kid Super, you're the fucking man. Thank you so much for being out here with us. Three flights. Right? Three flights to get here. We call call him he's in brazil

and we say we're going to the morocco france game in morocco actually i will give you credit we were like should we go see it in france and then and kid super goes it would be way crazier to see it in morocco so you kind of did put that out there. And the other thing, so we were debating if we wanted to go to Qatar, if we wanted to do all this stuff, because all of a sudden, Schultz is a diehard soccer fan. Yes, this is, yeah. And little do you know, but me and Mark

play soccer together on the Kid Super team weekly when he's feeling fit and getting slender. And so he was like, oh, I don't really... Did you put him at goalie when he gained all that weight? No, he was like, yeah, I'm beefing up. I'm like, for what? You're a podcast guy. But then we were deciding if we were going to go to Qatar or Morocco,

and Schultz wanted the culture, wanted to experience the people. And fun fact, my mom was actually born in Morocco, so it was worth the 24 hour flight from Brazil to go all around the world to get here and I landed about four hours ago. The game's in three hours. And if Morocco wins, we're the most geniuses of all time. I mean, Morocco's gonna win.

I'm saying this right now, we don't know what's gonna happen. Morocco's gonna win. The energy is here. We have the colonized taking out the colonizer. It only makes sense. It is only right. Everyone at home, you might be calling me fucking idiots once you know the actual score because it's not coming out until next week. But I just wanted to let you know that the positivity, not only is there a storm coming to France, there's a storm here.

Like, you feel the energy. Something's going down. We damn near made a fucking side talk video in the middle of the chouk, okay? This guy with like four teeth in his whole mouth looked like a jack-o'-lantern

just started screaming, fuck the French. We probably have to cut that. And I wasn't even there. To maintain religion. I wasn't even there yet. He wasn't even there. I wasn't even there yet.

Exactly, exactly. But we're also all in the exact same outfits. Yes. And I think— We're ready. What's also good, I mean, on my own personal note, soccer has brought me all across the world. And I know Schultz has just become a diehard soccer fan.

But it's amazing that something brings all these different people together. So I was in Brazil because of soccer. Now I'm in Morocco because of soccer. And I'm going to end up in Qatar. Get out of the way of the other camp. I'm going to end up in Qatar, which Schultz has, depending on the game today and his wife's situation. It is my wife's. It's not even my situation.

It's our anniversary. The final game is our anniversary. We're going to end up going to the fucking final, aren't we? I'll say it right now. When Morocco wins today. going to the fucking final, aren't we? I'll say it right now. When Morocco wins today,

when Morocco wins today, we have to continue to bestow that good luck on Morocco. Because you are the good luck charm. That's what I told them. I told them I wouldn't negotiate in the chouk. I said, listen, the discount you give me is the luck you give to Team Morocco.

Which you've been, he has a great haggling technique in which he haggles really, really hard and then tips them heavy. Yeah. So I tip them back up to the price that they wanted, more or less. It's like, you know, when white people— But they react so well.

They love it. They love it. They love it. They love it. Yeah, because they brutalize me. That's really what they like about it. Yeah. But no, it's catch and release.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. There's something scientific about it. I play the game, you know? Anyway, I think you're fucking genius. For those people who might not know you just yet, it's so weird to call you a clothing designer because, hmm, how do I say it?

It's like, you might hate this, you might love this. Calling you a clothing designer is like calling Diddy a music producer. Do you know where it's like i also know you from all these other crazy creative things i just feel like your creative outlet has been pressed upon clothing but then i get to see you make animations i get to see you do cool things when you did the painting thing remember i i don't even i'm gonna butcher it by describing it just go youtube what would you youtube kids super painting fashion show but basically i did this fashion show where each look had a painting assigned with it and i'd painted all the uh 23 paintings and the last look was a

painting but she walks out of the painting and it makes for a real so you see her face in the painting you're like oh i see a human face that's cool. It's behind a big canvas and a painting, blah, blah, blah. It is whatever. I've maybe seen this before in every Scooby-Doo episode, right? The bad person is in the wall and their eyes are like following you. And then all of a sudden the model walks through the painting and the painting drapes over them and becomes the outfit. It was genius.

It took a lot of trial and error. And what was cool was like, there wasn't this like crazy machine behind it or if we hired a production company to do it, I really built the whole thing in like the Brooklyn studio. And we failed a lot. Yeah. Can you tell me about this Brooklyn studio

that Mark talks about nonstop? So I built this state-of-the-art fucking studio in Soho. I finally get us out of Brooklyn thinking I'm doing this poor kid a favor, and he can't wait to get back to Brooklyn to go to your fucking studio. This is true. This is true. And it is funny because, I mean, he tried really hard on his studio. What do you mean? I did a good job. You did do a good job.

The Kid Super has always had a physical space. So before I had a dorm room that I converted into a store that everyone came and was buying out of my dorm room. And then I got kicked out because it was a store. Then I got this space in Brooklyn that was really small. And I lived in the back of a store. Then the top two floors moved out and all my friends moved in. And I owned, in parentheses, this building in Brooklyn. And then we kind of outgrew that and now we just signed a lease to a 10,000 square foot building.

Unbelievable. In Brooklyn, which he's from New York City as well, so he understands how difficult it is to find a space of that size. I got it because of COVID and I've been now trying to make it a magical place with recording studios, storefront podcast studios. Not for me, for whoever in his team wants, because I don't know if it's safe for me to get on a podcast. But part of it has been with brand sponsorships that have supported it. And one of those being Jagermeister, who we've done countless projects with.

What I loved about this is, and I pay attention, I'm not going to lie, because obviously we have a lot of people who we work with, sponsor the pod, et cetera. I pay very close attention to brands that seek out true creatives. Not just chasing numbers.

Numbers are very important. We've got to sell things. That's how the game works. Seeking out people who are making creative things and like supporting them in that endeavor. Because I think those people actually really get the value and equity behind that. And that's, I mean, Jagermeister supported me two, almost five, four years ago when I was really, didn't have the numbers, didn't have Paris Fashion Week, didn't have, and it was just, they respected how hard I was trying at something and I respected how hard like our

first project we worked on we did a gallery show and they said do I want sponsorship I said sure they said how many people do you think are going to come to your gallery I said a hundred a thousand people ended up coming to my painting gallery show. But she came with 10 bartenders, 10 cocktails. They're all named after each painting. And I was like, what the fuck? You tried so hard. And she was like, what the fuck? A thousand people came.

Yeah. So that was where we started our relationship. And so now, not only it's been amazing for me and growing, and I literally couldn't have done it without brand sponsorships, but also I put, I say, hey, schultz is a person you actually should support yeah and they without a doubt gave you the support like i got this in what two days it was unbelievable that it was it was so cool and corporations do not work like this yes i want to be very clear corporations do not work like this and we work with some fucking awesome ones but

for two days for us to go yeah we're gonna live stream it and then two days later we go yep i think we might go to morocco we got the tickets to go to morocco the same day we left so on the plane we're messaging them we're like yo is it cool if we go to morocco and watch the and watch the game they on the plane we get the message back and they're like give me like half an hour for approval and we're like okay well i was thinking i was texting uh jamil i was like jamil didn't come i'm like what happens if jaeger pulls can i be honest with you we we didn't have internet on the plane yeah so we didn't know that this was a go until we landed and no so hey shouts to you, Yeager. We appreciate your commitment. But I love that and I thought it was cool

that they were down. They just wanted to do creative shit. Well, it's also people are behind these brands, which we often forget. And we're in a society now where the creatives

have a ton of power, right? You proved that hugely on your Netflix special. So it's in their best interest. Netflix quality special. There we go. Netflix quality special. Mic to face.

Netflix quality special. There you go. But what I'm saying is now it's in their best interest. So yeah, they're good people, but it's in their best interest to support you. Yeah, it's cool to see. And let you do what you can do because you know better than anyone else. Right. So I think,

and now we're in Morocco, so it worked out pretty good. That's what I'm saying. Like, just let us go on a fucking adventure. I remember when I was talking to him, I was like, listen,

let us create those kinds of weekends, those kinds of events. Like, we will make it happen. I know I seem like a lunatic. We just FaceTimed her right now and we both look like we just came out of the Sahara.

Yeah, we're lunatics, but sometimes being a lunatic is fun and you get to do cool shit um so they they this is i thought was really interesting because they sent a package over right and uh they sent the package over and they're the jerseys that you created yes right so you did a jersey for team usa i did a track suit for Team USA. Well, obviously, it's World Cup season and everyone knows that I'm the biggest

soccer fan ever. New soccer fan. New soccer fan. Him. Brand new soccer fan. I just want to be very clear everybody at home. Brand new.

When he plays FIFA, he plays with Real Madrid. Manchester United. Okay? Come on. Keep going. When he plays FIFA, he plays with Real Madrid. Manchester United. Okay? Come on. Keep going. Let's see your teams. Atletico Madrid. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Galicia. Alright, well you

spent your... We all know you studied abroad. Stop fucking... It looked like I knew some things right there. Okay, LA Galaxy. Okay. That's a horrible turn, dude. No, I shouldn't go MLS that quick. Tottenham. Hot Spurs.

Sometimes cold Spurs. Wait, Man City. Not bad. Chelsea. Chelsea City. Other countries. You got Italy. Paris Saint-Germain.

Italy. Juventus i think he's he's which do you say you're more knowledgeable soccer or ufc soccer you kicked that out no no ufc i probably know a little bit more you have to you're so engaged i'm the number one UFC journalist. I was going to say, the fact that you almost said soccer is crazy. No, I mean, listen. I consider you someone who knows a lot about UFC. But I'm the number one. And you're low-key good at boxing, which you never bring up.

Yeah, yeah, I don't talk about that at all. Out of all the things that you brag about. I got to keep the streets honest. Yeah, he's a pretty good, I mean from the highlights I see. That was a great what is it, underhanded compliment what you just did right there. You're like, you're great at boxing. I was like, oh thanks. And then you're like, out of all

the things you brag about, you think that you would talk about the thing that you're decent at. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, okay. It's kind of like how you tip and buy. This guy right here, this guy is a fucking problem. Sever the sponsorship immediately. Okay? There you go. Take a swig of that. Tell me what

happened with this jersey right now before we go eat some tagine. Okay, so this is actually one of the paintings from the fashion show. Oh, this is a painting? Yeah. It's a soccer player. Okay. So, um, the... What team? The painting? Yeah, what team is that guy?

Just random. You don't know what team it is? We just painted it. Did you see that? Oh, you don't know what team that is? It was more like a representative of a moment. Doesn't that sound like some bullshit you would say if you knew nothing about fucking soccer? Doesn't that sound like...

Okay, so break this down. So you picked a random guy, kind of looks like me, and you put him on. It was a soccer painting. Jägermeister, which is actually quite interesting, was one of the first, if not the first, they don't like to say first because whatever, but brands to ever sponsor a soccer team. And that first jersey looked very similar to this. Got you. So it was a reference because when I went to the headquarters, I tried to tie in everything I do into soccer. And when they said they were the first sponsor, I was like, whoa.

Done. Game over. That's actually pretty cool. And so now it's illegal for an alcohol company to sponsor a team. Really? Yeah. Why? Is that because Qatar bought up all the rest of them?

Yeah. But what's weird is gambling is allowed. What about a non-alcoholic company? Like could O'Doul sponsor of them? Yeah. But what's weird is gambling is allowed. What about a non-alcoholic company? Like, could O'Doul sponsor a team? Yeah, probably. I actually don't know the exact rules. Seems like you don't know a lot about soccer, buddy. I don't know.

Because there used to be very big branded alcohol companies, and now there's not. They're now all betting companies, which also is pretty illegal. Right? Yeah, even though we love them. Oh, true. Yeah, we love them. We love them. They're great. A promo code flavor.

But yeah, I think the jersey's fucking fire. I think it's great that you get to do these things and just go on these adventures. Now the question is, when do we get, when do we get, I want my name on the back and the number, exactly. Yeah. What number would I be? The question is, when do we get out? I want my name. On the back.

And the number, exactly. Yeah. What number would I be? For your personality. Or how I play. What position would I play, obviously? Well, I've never seen. Striker.

I would say you could also be a center back that kind of just two studs tackles to set the pace. Seems like you're saying I'm not an offensive player. No, you're more, you set the tone. Can I also strike and set the tone? Yeah, but that's not as much. Maybe a forward striker. But also, since you're

so good at boxing, I think you're more like a brute type. Am I like the enforcer? Is that what you're saying? I'm just there to fight? I'm there to protect Messi. Yeah.

Because Messi's little. You're not little. Okay, okay, okay. So are you more of like a... Let me guess who you are. Oh, Pepe. Dude, that's you. You're Pepe, right?

But the way that you play is like you don't know how to really have good touch. That was you. No, dude. You're trying to flip it on me. I don't think that's good. It's good that you knew that, Pepe. Who, Pepe? That's one of your top faves.

Come on, dude. I know all these things. No, I see you as like a Roberto Carlos. What position does Roberto Carlos play? Back. But then he still runs the sides. Come on, son. Not bad.

I know about these things. Roberto Carlos is the best at his position ever. No, no. What do I really think you are? Andres Iniesta. That's a good one. I think I see you like... Dude, do you know what I'm talking about?

Yo, you see how he flipped him up? I see you, Andres Iniesta, impossible to take the ball away from you, controlling the game, crazy assists, leading the attack. But when it comes to defense, you're not really about that life. I'm very much not about that life.

Like, if he knew how right he was, we should get my mom. My mom would be screaming at me, like, get back on defense. But the problem is if you spend too much time on defense. Then you can't have fun on offense. You're just not as, like, energized when you get the ball. But I am that type. I'm more of a little bit more attacking. Scoring and setting up?

I'm much better setting up. Setting up. Yeah, much better passer. So if you had to make a basketball analogy for who you were? I'm pretty bad at basketball, to be honest. What about like a John Stockton, the assist king? All I know him as just a white basketball. The white guy on the dream team? Yeah as just a white basketball. The white guy.

Yeah. On the Dream Team. Yeah, just like, all right, that guy. Dude, he was so anonymous. Steve Nash. Well, Steve Nash was a great shooter. Yeah, okay. From distance.

But he had a great story about the Dream Team when they were in Barcelona. He was the only player that could just walk around the streets. Like, he would just, he goes, I would just go with my family, and I'd be wearing the Dream Team shirt that had my own face on it with the other guys. And people would walk up and have no fucking clue. How big is he? You might be taller than him. I'm probably about the same size.

But yeah, I see you. Send people up. Yeah, Andre's in the SL all day, dude. Who's like a great passer in the modern day that's best? Chris Paul. Okay, yeah. Chris Paul. I mean, he's like the ultimate point guard assist guy.

And who are you? Who is my comparison? Yeah. Aren't you also okay at basketball? I mean, look, I don't want to brag. No, no, but who is my comparison be? The problem is I was never a great shooter from distance. You're just close, good shooter?

I was what's called mid-range. I was okay, but I could get to the basket. So I would get to the basket and then dish. I was like an assist guy, but get to the basket and dish. But if I could shoot, man, that would have been a little bit of a game changer. I'm trying to think my... Yeah, this is a fun game. Who is your professional counterpart?

I like also, do you know who Modric is? Yeah, I was just for Croatia. Yeah, that's also a little bit. And then there's a player, James Rodriguez. He's Colombian. He was on Real Madrid. He had the greatest World Cup, last World Cup. But yeah, I would play a little bit.

That's who you think? Well, who I want to. Now, who is, okay, that's the dream? Is Modric the dream? No, or James Modric vibes. Modric is more expensive. If you had to pick an American player? Oh, Gio Reyna.

Ooh. Fire. The son of... Yeah, Claudio. Who played, I guess? Yeah, professionally. That's why he grew up all over. But Gio Reyna's actually

fire. Yes. The U.S. team's going to be really good, and that's what we have to start planning for is the World Cup in four years. 100%. Yeah, we've been saying the U.S. team's going to be good for about two decades now. Yeah, but it's happening. They're all 22. That's true. That's true. They're all going to be.

And they're finally not all German. That was crazy. Yeah. Not that there's anything wrong. Not that there's anything wrong That's true. They're all going to be. And they're finally not all German. That was crazy. Yeah. Not that there's anything wrong. Not that there's anything wrong with German things. No, but the German coach literally was like, America sucks. If you have any strand of American, I'm signing you up. The team literally couldn't speak English.

I know. That was crazy. I know. And it wasn't like they were great German players. He just thought like Americans were so, so bad. I know. And it wasn't like they were great German players. He just thought Americans were so, so bad. I know. How messed up. You're like, this American kid has dedicated his entire life to soccer,

and this guy doesn't even speak English. There's a lot of that. I mean, yeah, there's a lot of random people that switch teams and stuff. Yeah. Qatar was trying to do that hard. Oh, really? Yeah, because they knew they were going to have it for 10 years. So they just were trying to go around the world to nationalize.

Mike, close to your face. Also, I just want to point out that if Kid Super dies in Qatar at the finals, just know he did say that on this podcast. Just know that there is proof of him saying that on the podcast. I just want to point that out there. Listen, we have a Tajin to get to. We do. And we have a game to support. And we have history to be made. If, he said it, if, when Morocco

wins, his anniversary for one year will be in his favorite country in the world. Qatar. Qatar. Qatar. Qatar. Qatar. We're going to Qatar.

I haven't told my wife this yet, but if, sorry, when, when Morocco wins, the storm is coming, France. When Morocco wins, we're going to Qatar. My wife will probably be in Dubai reliving some Real Housewives shit, but we will be in Qatar.

She likes soccer. Yeah. Isn't she like her dad? Weren't you saying? Oh, no, her dad is a huge fan. He's so happy that I'm here. Okay. Like, he's like, I'm so glad that you...

Also, potentially, Schultz will come to Paris. Oh, lock it in. Can we talk about it? Yeah, you can talk about it. You can't talk about the other thing. Okay. There's a lot of things that we, okay, we're going to keep you abreast on all the kids. Kids Super Fashion Show in Paris in January.

He, for some reason, wants stand-up comedy to be a part of it. Huge mistake, but it's okay. You got to let creatives create. And I'm going there dressed like this., but it's okay. You gotta let creatives create. And I'm going there, dressed like this. It's fashion. It's fashion, baby. Okay, let's throw it back to the guys

in America. Alright, I think we do a nice little cheers to Kid Super. Dove, chin chin. Chin chin, son te. Merci, Dove. There we go. Thanks, Jaeger. I don't drink, but I fucks with you guys. Get a sniff of that, though.

Get a sniff of that. That's not bad. Right? It's nice. A little minty. Something. Anyway, that's fire. It was an awesome adventure.

Reflect on the adventure. I mean, it was just amazing. Like, the Riyadh we were in was so nice. The streets. Like, when you're inside the Medina, you're in a different world. Different world. There's a few places that you go that are not completely westernized. Yes. That you walk around when you're inside the Medina, you're in a different world. Different world. There's few places that you go that are not completely westernized.

Yes. That you walk around and you're like, oh, there's no McDonald's. Nothing. There's like, you're obviously selling wares that are modern day. So it's like soccer jerseys and stuff like that. But it doesn't feel, like it's almost,

this is how like growing up near theme parks warped my brain, is I assume everything that is authentic feels like it was made up. You know what I mean? Like you go through like Disney World and you're like, whoa, this is crazy. This is a French square. You walk through there and it's so authentically the way it always has been that you're almost like,

are these people paid to do this? What's going on? This is so crazy. I was even asking the people that were from there, I was like, what's the deal with this? They're like, nah, that is authentic. These people live in the Medina. They have shops in the Medina. They sell shit that they get from Morocco. It's a real authentic experience. There's very few places like that, I feel like,

in the world that are... Complete culture shock. Yeah. Extremely unique. And really, you feel like you're out of water. And really respectful to Westerners. Going through, obviously, they're trying to sell you shit, but it never felt dangerous. We're walking through the Medina at 3 in the morning after going out, and we went to this awesome club. Yeah, it never felt dangerous, never felt weird.

Yeah. No, it was great. Also, that nightclub was really fun. Bro, it was amazing. Also, that nightclub was, like, really fun. Bro, it was amazing. Amazing. That nightclub was sick, bro. Just laughing at when we were on the way there, and you told us this story when you went there, what you showed it.

How, like, you were in the Medina, and then at a certain time, it was dark. I'm going to do a horror movie next. Everything just starts to close up. The scariest place I've ever been. It's a scare. You felt like you were escaping your life. He was talking about white get out, bro.

That's what it was. Dude, the Medina at night is the most terrifying place I've ever been in my entire life genuinely the most terrifying place I've ever been at a certain hour Closes and they just start closing doors, and there's no way that you can map the place. Hey mark I have a bone to pick with you a little bit What, you took your powder and go in? Thank you. You guys are scared about this. This is heaven.

Once these lights go, it's over. Once it's dark, it's over. All this conflict is going to leave you immediately. You're going to be a Jew and a Medean. I'm going to take y'all to the Medina. Bro, we went there. They were so nice. We were on the Upper East Side.

We were in the Beverly Hills of the States. It was so nice, bro. It was not a moment where we were worried or scared. Keep that same energy. It was so nice. This is how I not a moment where we were worried or scared. Keep that same energy. It was so nice. This is how I know y'all are pussy. You ready? That's why he didn't get placed.

This is how I know. This is how I know. I said, this is scary. I said, if y'all start running right now, we're walking back at night. If y'all start running right now, I'm chasing after one of you. I'm not going to be left here alone. Everybody dispersed, right? I just followed Dove because I know Dove knows how to get back to the fucking hotel.

You two tried to be cute and run the other way. Which bitch-ass pussies started running back towards Dove because you didn't know how to get home? Yeah, we didn't know how to get home. It wasn't exactly scared. I'm not scared. Scary, scary, scary. Because we want to go back to the hotel. Being lost is not being scared, bro.

No. That's what's scary, being lost. I was on your side. Being lost? That was such a stupid answer. I thought you had it, but they really just... Y'all are scared, bro. If all of you just ran in a different direction right now, I would scream rape.

So one of you guys said, stop it, stop it. Come on now. Come on, buddy. Come on. Come on, shift it. Take that. And I'll show you something. Holy fuck. You look slimmer after that.

That was good. I'm going to make a horror movie there now. What's it going to be? A guy with no teeth being like, want tea? That's the whole horror movie? That's how it starts. That's how it starts. I'm going to show you something.

I'm going to make a horror movie there now. What's it going to be? A guy with no teeth being like, want tea? That's the whole horror movie? That's how it starts. That's how it starts. I'm going to show you something. I'm going to make a horror movie there now. What's it going to be? A guy with no teeth being like, want tea?

That's the whole horror movie? That's how it starts. That's how it starts. I'm going to show you later. Now, you get scary out there. All I'm trying to say. We were there late at night, bro. How are you going to threaten some shit we did?

You can't do that. Both nights, we came back madly. No, but we were in the thick of it, bro. Like, once you get in the thick of it, it's over. We were in the thick of it, bro. We were in the thick of it. We was in it, but once you get in it. Nah, we didn't go to the thick of it, bro. We did get in the thick of it, it's over. We were in the thick of it, bro. We were in the thick of it. But once you get in it... Nah, we didn't go in the thick of it, bro.

We were in the thin of it, really. We was in the thin of it, bro. We was on Al's turn. He gets more scared when he has to be dove. Like, in that moment, you were with your big. He had to be the protector. He had to be the navigator. I didn't want to do all that. See? You should be grateful for this guy. I am fucking grateful. Al's not grateful. Al's the most ungrateful piece of shit.

Can't even get salt by himself. What a fucking asshole. I didn't even know he was upset about that. Well, you didn't? No, it wasn't that I was upset. It wasn't the salt one. It was the fucking shifty tequila. Bro, you ordered for the table.

So I'm thinking the guy only speaks fucking French. I'm like, hey, Dove, can you get us a drink? This is such a bullshit lie. I'm at the other end of the table. I can't hear hey, Dove, can you get us a drink? This is such a bullshit lie. I'm at the other end of the table. I can't hear what the fuck he's saying. He does this with his girl, his mom. You're at the other end of the table. You're sitting right next to Dove. Ow. Ow. How do you say his lips? His lips start to go.

The guy. I thought you liked doing dishes, babe. I thought you always do them. No, I was next to Kitsubra. I thought you enjoyed doing it. I was next to Kitsubra and then it was Dove. You want me to help? You want me to help the dishes? Business is all this. Ow. French lesson number one. French lesson number one. How do you say tequila in French?

I don't know. Tequila. Tequila. All right. I know that. You should have told me that. Come on, bro. Nah.

I'm just taking a cue out of his book. He told me he's like. You're taking a what? What? Uh-oh. That's not fair as shit. Al sometimes speaks English badly? Uh-oh. That's not a favorite shit. Al sometimes speaks English magic. Uh-oh.

He speaks English like Joe Biden. I'm taking you out of his book. Bobbit. He really wildly coyoted that shit. He ran off the edge of the cliff like, uh-oh. No, no, the thing I hate about Al, I'll just say this, he is the worst. Skin color? Yeah, race?

Besides that. Besides race? Besides that. Besides that. Besides that. The worst startup motor in the game is. What does that mean? Burning Man, Morocco, on tour in the morning. It takes him two hours to just get to normal speed. He's so slow.

We go to a party, and then all of a sudden, he's Mr. Life of the Party. And I'm like, where were you? I start my days late. It's called drugs. Very simple. Now without alcohol or drugs, boring. I think it's not people time, bro. That's really what it is. He just catches up a little later. Yes. This could be true. I wake up on regular people time. I'm waking up on CP time. Come on, bro. Okay, so then we come. Do we get into anything eventful? day? I mean the party was awesome Like that was oh yeah and going there and like they hooked it up and it's crazy cuz you go this Muslim country You're like, oh, they're not gonna have casinos and whatever and then they have this beautiful casino amazing band Yeah, and just like alcohol everywhere. They're serving up. They got pictures the pictures are fire. Yeah, it's a great time. So are we going out? What do you want? What could really go wrong? Dove had an old lady exfoliate his entire body.

Oh, yeah. The scrub. I didn't know this. Kid Super did it the next day. How do you like it? He said it The scrub. I didn't know this. Kid Super did it the next day. How did he like it? He said it was great. I didn't know this. They did the region as well.

Oh, really? There's nothing sexual about this. They got the capuchin monkeys in there? You go into this steam room, and they just, it's like they give you a bath while you're in swim trunks. Soft hands? What kind of hands are we talking? Just worker hands.

Yeah. Yeah. But they put layers of soaps, the argon, all this, and then they scrub you down like a beat-up car, and they make you touch your arm and you feel just layers of dead skin. Like, alright, I'm sorry. This is what it is.

They like shame you. And then they just start putting more. It's like with buckets in a trough, and they just keep pouring you, and you come out baby soft. They put the bathroom on you. You walk out. Someone hands you a hot tea. Full recommendation, guys.

Wow. We got to do that. We missed that. I wanted to ride a camel. I didn't get to do that. Yeah, we were supposed to. Where would be the next destination? Adventure destination with camels?

Or do we go? We did Africa, right? I got to go back. Just different parts. That was actually my Oprah 2023. Al doesn't consider that real Africa. It's too soon. Why? Just because they called you the N-word with the hard R?

Oh, Al did get called the N-word. With the hard R. With the hard R. In a good way. I watched the whole thing happen. I was like, somehow that should be offensive to everyone. And even Al was like, uh. Are you sure? he was with a he's like my nigger French Montana?

Like you gave the pass to French Montana or he has a class so yeah, I mean, I'm in Africa so you can call them by Africans so like Yeah, like I could just tell it was like endearing, but it was just, it was hard art. Like he truly didn't know how he was supposed to say it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Man. Yeah, it was weird.

But yeah, I really want to go back to Africa. That was my goal for 2023. And then this happened overnight, so that was cool. Yeah. Knocked it out early. Yeah, we got to do more adventures. And then we ended in the pool, bro. That was the best part.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was all hanging out in the pool, bro. That was the best part. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was all hanging out in the pool. Singing. Singing. Vibing. Not making a mess. We had a great fucking time.

We need somebody to lean on. I just might have a problem that you'd understand. We all need somebody to lean on. Sometimes you marah can, sometimes you marah can't. Subscribe. Alex, if you could help me to do this. I have to put the thing on. I have to put the thing on.

I want to put the captain on. Let me put the thing on. I want to put the cop-ton on. Let me put the cop-ton on. Oh my God! Oh my God! That was the spread earring. Please stop! Keep going that side. Tickle him, tickle him.

We didn't make a mess. No, we didn't make a mess. We were respectful. We had a great fucking time. What do you mean? You just always... You. You. We had a great, great time.

Now, we got to do more adventures. We are going to do more adventures. I really like this. I hope you guys like this. I hope you enjoy. And if there are any, like, there are any very cool, unique experiences that we can tap into, please let us know.

I mean, an underdog in the semifinals of the World Cup, a team that should not be there at all to go to the homeland and watch it with the fans

that have been rooting for them for decades. Might never happen again. Might never happen again. So it's like, it definitely won't happen again that the first

African team can make it to the semifinals. We were there for a fucking first. So, yeah, so we want to know about all these other little things and then just go out there and explore them, man. And with more time, I think we can do more, like, flagrant meetups.

Because we get to Marrakesh, and then all of a sudden, these, like, great Moroccans who are, like, Casablanca are like, let me take you out, let me do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hip-hop artists, all this from Morocco. So I think with some more prep time, it can be awesome. Yeah, and the more unique, the better. I feel like there's mad people that listen. They're like, oh, my culture is, like,, all this from Morocco. So I think with some more prep time, it can be up. Yeah, and the more unique, the better. I feel like there's mad people that listen.

They're like, oh, my culture is too weird, too fringe. We like that. No one knows about us. What's the festival that happens in your town, your country, your city? We want to go experience it. The food has to be good, though. We like good food.

Yeah, you do. I like good food. It has to be fine. It was mid. Say it. Say it in your single right now. It was mid. Moroccans, hit them right now. It was mid. Say it. Say it and you're single right now. It was mid. Moroccans, hit them right now.

It was mid. The food was good. Food was good. I went with incredibly low expectations because when I went with my wife, the food was not good. So it exceeded my low expectations. We didn't have mama's cooking.

I didn't have low expectations. We didn't have mama's cooking, bro. He said, oh, Moroccan food. The last thing Moroccans should do is talk about how good the food is. We'll always defend a Moroccan home before a Moroccan restaurant. That's facts. Okay, so we went to all restaurants. Nah how good the food is. We'll defend a Moroccan home before a Moroccan restaurant. That's facts.

Okay, so we went to all restaurants. No, we had good restaurants. We had good restaurants. Last night we had good food. The first night, it was good. It wasn't great. You don't go to Africa for that. By New Yorker standards.

Would you have gone back to any of these restaurants? Yeah. If I was in there, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't go and be like, oh, yeah, if they were in New York, I'd probably go, but I'm not. I would. I would. New York's got the probably go, but I'm not. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. New York's got the best food in the world. There's the best food in the world.

That's the problem. So when we go other places, they got to light it up. Expectations are high. Got to light it up. We can recognize it's still great, though. No, they got to light it up. You're giving great. They ain't light it up.

They ain't light it up. I don't like anything that's not New York. I've realized this, and you just got to deal with it. It's the best. We are the best. We are the best. We are the best. We are the best. We're the best. Come on.

We're the best. This is the hell. Bro, come on, dude. This is the hell you're stuck in. You're welcome. We allow you in our city, okay? You got white real quick. You got white real quick.

Hey, I'm just saying. You're lucky we let you in. He's from New York. Gotta go to the wall, huh? We're a rock. Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome, bro. Yeah, you're lucky they let you into Manhattan.

That's true. Last stop on the E train, ass. They pushed us out one time. I'm coming back. I hear it. The next World Cup is in North America. Are you guys excited about that? Yeah.

Yes. So the next World Cup is in North America. That means Mexico, America, and Canada. And Canada. So we're winning that. Which is wild. We're winning that one. Yeah, we gonna win that. And Canada. So, which is wild. We're winning that one. Yeah, we're going to win that.

Oh, yeah. Guaranteed. But we have to pick and choose the destinations to watch the games. Mexico City. Got to. Have to. I mean, we got a few games here in New York. Yeah, New York too.

Got to. Pulling up. New York, Mexico City. We got to pick our spots. Yeah. New York, Mexico. They're probably going to do one in Miami. Do they know the exact locations?

Yep. Miami's not the city you visit. Nope. That's not the one. That's not it. That's not the one. I don't recognize the owner of those places. 2026 host cities.

Okay. Atlanta. Atlanta. Boston. Mid. Boston. Miss. Watch out.

Dallas. That's what's up. Atlanta. All right. That's what's up. Dallas will be all right. Houston. Houston's probably fire. Houston's honestly bad. Kansas City. Dallas. That's what's up. Atlanta. All right. Dallas will be all right. Houston will probably be fire. Houston's honestly bad.

Kansas City. Miss. Let's go. What? Los Angeles. Okay. Miami. Hell yeah.

New York. Absolutely. Absolutely. Philadelphia. Miss. San Francisco. Miss. Yuck.

Mexico. Where do we got? Mexico City. Estadio Azteca. We're fucking doing it. You want to know the craziest one, bro? Go. Monterrey.

Oh, Monterrey? Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Nah, that's happening. You pulled that up with a swift. We're crazy. That's happening. Orale.

That one's beautiful. Oh, my God. That's happening. That's beautiful. Oh, my Lord. So we got to catch that game. Let's catch both. Yeah.

Bofa. Yeah, but Mexico's the spot. If you want to be... Toronto? I'm cool with it. Toronto would be fun for Toronto. I'ma. But Mexico's the spot. If you want to be... Toronto? I'm cool with it. Toronto would be fun for Toronto. I'm good. But before that, we also have Paris Olympics

in two years. That's true. But for culture, though. For culture. It's different out there. You've got to be in Mexico. We're going to Mexico. For soccer?

Are you kidding me? So my question is, who qualifies? Because normally the host country qualifies. I think all three. All three? Wow.

And I'm pretty sure they're expanding the World Cup to more teams. But that also makes sense, too, because you want to engage North America as much as you possibly can. So, I mean, Mexico is obviously going to qualify. Canada wouldn't. So we automatically qualify. The host country always qualifies.

Yeah. Qatar was in the World Cup, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they beat a team. Oh, no, they lost, right? Their first game. How the fuck Saudi Arabia was in the World Cup? Did they qualify? Yeah, yeah. Oh, they were actually obviously. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they beat a team. Oh, no, they lost, right? Their first game. How the fuck

Saudi Arabia was in the World Cup? Did they qualify? Yeah. Oh, they were actually these. Yeah. The one team

that beat Argentina. Because they qualify within their federation. Ah, yeah. And then America qualifies through CONCACAF.

Yeah. CONCACAF. All I'm saying is, listen, if you're trying to gamble on the World Cup, you're trying to gamble on sports,

you're trying to put that money on American football, you know you're using betonline.ag, promo code flagrant, matching 50% of that initial deposit bonus up to $1,000. You already know what fucking time it is. So if you're putting money up, you're parlaying that shit, you're doing it with betonline.ag, you're supporting this podcast, supporting yourself, that's free money to gamble with.

Even more money to make. You are absolutely welcome. We're coming for that World Cup. I'm very excited. Yo, I'm excited that even at 39 years old, I've just, I'm excited I found soccer. True. It's this absolutely amazing sport. You're a born-again soccer fan.

I'm a born-again soccer fan. Like, as silly as this sounds, I'm genuine about it. Like, how cool to be excited about a new thing at this age. It was so anxiety-inducing, though. Yeah, maybe it's not best for you.

Yeah, having a rooting interest in soccer, you're just constantly worried. Constantly worried. What? I just think it's complete bullshit. I think, man,

in three weeks, you're not gonna get fucked about soccer, bro. I think you won't care about it until the next World Cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right now, I like World Cup soccer.

No, no. I'm going to like, for example, hold on, hold on, hold on, poco a poco. I'm going to like, when is the CONCACAF Cup or whatever?

CONCACAF. Whatever that shit is. It says a year or two. Okay, because the Europas I'll probably get into a little bit. That's in two years. That's because the Europas I'll probably get into a little bit. That's in two years. That's cool.

Our shit I'll get into a little bit. Copa America. Copa America I'm going to get into. But I'm being honest. I'm going to get into it. Conca Cat, all that. No, no. Why don't you just pick a team?

No, I don't think you're lying. It's hard for me to get into the team shit just yet. Bro, you lived in Barcelona. You could be a Barca fan. He lived in Barcelona and didn't give a fuck when he was there. Yeah, that's a good point. I ain't care. And they won La Liga.

How, bro? I used to see them motherfuckers at the club. You lived there one of the greatest times in Barcelona history, bro. I met all them motherfuckers at the club.

Soft low. Not enough? Soft low, man. No, Ronaldinho was that dude. Hair never been dry. Yeah, wild motherfucker, bro. Never been dry.

Yeah, he's crazy. And he's probably partying mad. Motherfucker's one of the most recognizable human beings on the planet. Got caught with a fake passport in a different country. In, I'm pretty sure in South America. In Uruguay. In South America. He's one of the most famous motherfuckers on the planet and distinct looking.

Yeah, why? Ain't that many people look like him, bro. Why the fake passport? Because he out here, bro. He outside. He went to prison. Like, after he retired, he went to, like,

it was like a nice prison for like a year or something. Like eight months. But why? Why do you have the fake ID? Yeah, I don't know. Why? I literally don't have no idea.

It's crazy. These motherfuckers are crazy, bro. How are you going to change your name if you're Ronaldinho? Bruh. It's nuts. But all I'm saying is I like soccer and I enjoy it, so I'm in.

I'm in. Yeah. I think you've got to pick a team, man. I don't know if I want to do the team shit just yet. People should lobby you. They should be like, yo, support this team. Okay. And everyone get their sales pitch.

I'm with that. If you're a Man U fan, if you're a Real Madrid fan, Juventus fan. Give me the story. Like, I need to know the backstory. I know the backstory of countries. That's what's exciting to support them. But as far as a regular team goes, I don't know. What's the geopolitics of Man United?

That's what you need to know. Yeah, I need to get into that. Give me the story. The Hotspurs. A bunch of Jews. Like them. Like them. I'm an Inter fan.

Yeah. I don't know. I got to figure it out. That's your team, right? That's what I'm saying. So I can't even. No, you can beat Mbappe. No, but you're doing it the American way of going after the players.

Yeah. I'm trying to find the club that I support. Say again? I'm American. Nice to know someone still is. Exactly, right? Yeah, I guess. No, that's how black Americans pick teams.

Oh, shut up. It's true? Shut up. Y'all just pick the most famous player, and then you're a fan of that team. That's not true. Most famous black guy. The most famous black guy. Then you go on that team.

No. Yes. What team LeBron on? I like that team. That's why I don't like hockey yet. That's why. As soon as there's a big famous... Oh, they in there.

Absolutely. Oh, yeah. I'm waiting. They got me close with... Who's your favorite NASCAR racer? You like someone in NASCAR or Formula One? I love Brandon guy. Brandon?

I don't know. What is it? Let's go Brandon. Oh, let's go Brandon. That guy. Okay, yeah. Unbelievable. That guy's good. That guy. Okay, guys. We got to wrap this up. Brandon I don't know what is it let's go Brandon oh let's go that guy okay yeah unbelievable that guy

okay guys we gotta wrap this up thank y'all so much for fucking with us make sure y'all fuck with Jaeger thank you for doing this thank you for pushing

everyone out of their comfort zone this wouldn't happen without you just being like yo we're fucking doing it respect respect thank you guys for coming on the journey

let's do crazy things thank you for never planning anything and being always last minute all the time. Yo, it's so much more exciting that way. It really is. We got to get it.

I got to frame that text. That text embodies this podcast. Yeah. Bring a passport and a change of underwear. I'm not sure if we're going yet. That's just great, right? Yeah. Let's live life like that.

Okay, guys. To Adventure, thank you so much, Jaeger. Thank you so much, you guys, for being down to do these things. Akash, I don't know how many of these adventures you're going to want to do. I'm a good sport. You're a great sport. I'm a good sport. You're an unbelievable sport.

I'll give you that. You didn't complain not one fucking time. I stayed out as late as everybody else. You stayed out as late as everybody else. No, no, like. That's big. No, real tight. That's big.

That's big. Mainly because I didn't know how to get home. I was there, though. That's not great. He was there. Never complained not one like. That's big. Nah, real tight. That's big. That's big. Mainly because I didn't know how to get home. Yeah. I was there, though. That's not great. He was there. Never complained not one time.

That's big. So we're going to have to figure out these adventures for Akash. What do you think? What do you think the goal is for you?

Yeah. Let's go to India, obviously. I think you get tired of that shit, too. Yeah. I kind of feel. I feel like we'd be

out there raging and you'd be like. Oh, I wouldn't party in India. No, I'd be very happy outside of that. But when y'all go to the club, I'd be like, I feel like we'd be out there raging, and you'd be like. Oh, I wouldn't party in India. No, I'd be very happy outside of that. But when y'all go to the club, I'd be like, I'm fucking tuckered out. Bro, he tried to get out of going out so bad. What'd he say?

He goes, oh, I'm going to wear sweatpants to a club. Multiple times. To a club, bro. How are you going to wear sweatpants to a club? You know they got a dress code. And then, no, he knew it, because as we were walking up, he goes, ah, they're probably not going to let me in, you know? Why do you think that? Why do you think that?

Why do you think that? Because in true Akash fashion, I tried to pee at a casino earlier, and they wouldn't let me in. Oh, that happened? No, because I had to pee, I found out I couldn't get in. You can't even pee here. No, they were like, dude, no. This is a guy wearing a dress looking at you.

He's in a dress, no teeth. Oh, you can't pee here. Look at you in your Nike tech. Disgusting. Oh, my God. Akash, Oh, you can't pee here. Look at you. In your Nike tech. Disgusting. Oh, my God. Akash, we're going to figure it out. We're going to figure it out. Going out.

No, going out, singing, all that shit. That was fun. Yo, dancing with dudes? Fun. Yes. So much fun. Love that. You did like that.

That was fun. What would be an Akash adventure? Something we could do for you. I'm telling you, India, let's go. World Cup of Cricket. Let's go. Next year. That's an activity. You know what? You India, let's go. World Cup of Cricket. Let's go next year. That's an activity.

You know what? You would get into it the same way you got into soccer. For that event, you would get into it. I promise you, you would. Yeah. I promise you, you would. I probably would.

I promise you, you would. Let's do this. All right. We'll get a suite or something so you don't have to shit in the toilet. But we're going to go. I would love to go to, what's the holy or whatever like that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is it Diwali or holy? Holy. Holy is with the colors. I would love to do that. I mean, that would be fucking magical. You could go to a temple in America and do that. No, motherfucker. With the real shit?

This guy. We could have gone to a bar and watched the game here. There's Moroccan restaurants. We got to get some adventure into you. Come on the block. We got to get some adventure into you. Come on, dude. We got to get some adventure in you. Part of it is going there and experiencing the enthusiasm of the people and getting caught up in... I know what you mean, but I don't believe it.

What do you not believe? I just don't buy it. I see what you're saying. You know how your dad is like, I wish I believed in God? I wish I believed what you were saying. Like, I'm with it, but I don't. It sounds good. It sounds good.

I wish I had that. Right here you believe it. Yeah. But here? Here I don't. Yeah, but God you can't see. Fun I can't see. And another country you can like see it.

You can experience it. You can feel it. it Like what do you get From going in I'm down to go To the other countries But when y'all are like Hey let's go out I'm like

Let's go in I saw the country Now I gotta see the club Club is a club Is a club It was different bro It was different dog I mean it was

Completely different Like seeing that band Do that was amazing No that I've never seen that In America That I was into Yeah But then the second night We both bail bailed on whatever Dove was getting into.

Shenanigans. Yeah, he was chasing pussy. I mean, no. I didn't know if I was supposed to say that. Oh, okay. That made you look weirder to me. Yeah, no, I didn't want to blow up his butt. But we're going to get you into adventure, my boy.

I look forward to it. What about, like, nature adventures? Is that something that you would do? Why? Green Ribbon. I got offended by that question. Because I want us, I've told you this, I want us to whitewater raft in the Colorado River,

in the Grand Canyon. I want us to, and then camp on the sides. The greatest thing ever. Yeah. Amazing. What is that even? Yeah. What is that even? Yeah. What is that even?

Get outside of your comfort zone. That's not my comfort zone. I've never camped before. First time I'm going to do it is after going Whitewater Rafton and the Grand Canyon and the Colorado River. That's amazing. And you lay there and you look at the stars and you go, bro, we're just a little ball floating through the universe. What the fuck's going on? Oh, I saw shooting stars out there.

That's right. Yeah, that was dope. No, a meteor shower. A meteor shower. Whatever. Same thing. Same thing. Fucking asshole. Yeah. Y'all got something I need to talk out after this, I saw shooting stars out there. That's right. Yeah, that was dope. A meteor shower, you said. A meteor shower, whatever. Same thing. Same thing. Fucking asshole.

Y'all got something I need to talk out after this, I think. I don't know what's going on, but y'all got to have a... I'm just mad he didn't wake me up for it. I did. I sent a text in a group. That's true. No, that's not true. Yeah, we wake up from...

Yeah, that's waking up. That's true. But yeah, I think that we need to get into these Avengers, get outside of our comfort zone. I think that's a smart, healthy thing to do. Bro. Whitewater rafting? Awesome. I've done that. to get into these Avengers, get outside of our comfort zone. I think that's a smart, healthy thing to do. Bro. Whitewater rafting? Awesome.

I've done that. Right? It's fire, right? And then you camp after? I know. I was trying to be off, but that shit is mad fun, bro. That's human, bro. It's really mad fun.

That's human. I did that with all white people, but it was fun. Well, I got to defy death. This is what your ancestors did for millions of years, bro. Me being alive is a medical miracle. But it's like, it's light. What is like a fun thing for you? Like, how do you have fun?

Yo, I'm down to travel. I'm down to sightsee. I'm down for all that. I love going to Morocco. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just, you know, all the going out part ended up being fun. But initially I was like, I'm going to go. But this shit is going to be fucking.

What are we going to do? I can't. You know how I know I'm old? When music is loud, I get upset because I'm like, I can't even hear myself think. I mean, I get it. He's think I mean I get it he's been consistent I gotta yell to talk to you I gotta yell

to talk to the guy next let's just hey Emil I love it you're a great sport I will say that you're an absolutely great sport let's go see the sights doing the activities

what kind of camping like tents or glamping tents bro I think it's I think it's actually like no tents I think you just actually like, no tense. I think you just. It's craziness.

I do believe. You guys are crazy fucking persons. No, not in the Grand Canyon. You're inside. You guys are crazy fucking persons. It's going to be 30 degrees or whatever. Animals. You get a little like.

Critters. Yeah, a little critters. Yeah, scorpions. Yeah, why are we going to. I'm telling you. Open ourselves up to scorpions while we sleep. I don't know, but that shit. I don't know. I have to look into it more.

But also, there's nothing for you to do. So once it's dark, you just go to sleep and it can be dark at fucking 6.30 or some shit like that, then you're going to wake up with the sun. It's just, imagine that. And you find shit to do. Yeah. Talk story. You'll be safe. You'll be safe. Sit around a fire. Listen to fucking Huberman over here

waking up with the sun. Yes, bro. He's living a good life. I'm just saying, we gotta do these adventures. Anyway, guys, thank you all so much. We'll see you soon. Peace.