Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Reacts: Trumpers Storm Capitol Hill

Episode Date: January 8, 2021

This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia, and Mark discuss Trumpers storming Capitol Hill, Kanye/Kim divorce and him being rumored dating Jeffery Star, if capitalism is a stepping stone towards socialism, bitcoin going crazy and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2 Go to Surfshark.deals/flagrant and use code FLAGRANT to get 84% off a 2-year plan and 4 extra months for free! Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a choir then welcome to The Flagrancy.

What up people, Shultz here and you guys are about to listen to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode. If you want to sign up to our Patreon, support the flagrancy, support what we are doing, completely uncensored, flagrant content, you go to patreon.com slash flagrant2. With no more interruptions, here is the exclusive clip. What's up everybody and welcome to the patreon episode of flagrant 2 this is the first patreon of 2021 and boy are we off to a good start huh we are having some fun um lots to talk about fat bitches on cosmopolitan kanye sucking tranny. And of course, Trump having some trouble. Trouble?

Trouble. Trouble is fine. Trouble in D.C. Yeah. Maybe we start with the Trump thing. You gotta. Okay, there's so many people have been like hitting me up and like, yo, you gotta do a thing.

You gotta turn your phone about the whole Trump thing. You did. We did. Yeah. Yeah, we did it. This is exactly what we were talking about for schultz is america so it's gonna be very redundant but obviously you know we got to make some sense of of this whole thing um to me i'm not sure about your guys perspective on this obviously

we haven't talked about before the podcast we want to save it for the podcast but to me, what this whole event signified is that the QAnon, like, super conspiracy MAGA folks were full of shit from the beginning. They're lonely losers just looking for some community. They want some friends. And the thing about politics is very similar to sports is it lubricates social interactions for people with incredible social anxiety. If you walk into a bar and it's a Yankee bar, right? All you got to say is, yo, I think it's our year. And the guy next to you goes, oh, he's safe. It's like drinking. It is our year. It's drinking. But the thing about drinking is you might get into a fight when you drink like a Thanksgiving dinner because you and your parents might not get along with something. But if you

know that you have common ground, it's so much easier for people to talk about there's less judgment in what you say okay right so it's like here's the talking points everybody go run with it yeah so what my understanding was about q anon is they truly believed they truly believed that there's a pedophile ring run by the uh elites and politicians right that they are harvesting children for their adrenochrome and their organs or whatever the fuck else it is that there is a um shadow government that is in control of everything and they're up to nefarious things and they want to uh what is it called um super uh no what is the word i'm looking for i forgot basically they want to they want to find a way to uh always control america for their interests right they are saying that these people are treasonous and that they should be hung for

their crimes right right they're truly plotting a course these evil characters are plotting a course. These evil characters are plotting a course. Right. That will, you know, take America essentially to its knees. Destroy America. Right. And that they are the freedom fighters. That are going to liberate us all. Right. From these nefarious characters. Who only care about our demise.

Right. And after storming the Capitol building, they took selfies. If you're a real revolutionary, right? You're not going to get in there and be like, yo, flex for the gram. Look, what did you do? You didn't do nothing. One of y'all got killed or a few of y'all got killed. You're not taking shots.

You're not taking anybody down. You're inside Nancy Pelosi's office looking at her mail. That's your big revolutionary moment well that's what you accomplish well that's how these guys communicate this super network of control the world people is snail mail is snail mail you're 100 right each other u.s postal service obviously the way to go that's how you get the secrets yeah my bad on the shipping with the fashion it It's going to get there. That shit is USPS, too. It's fucking Nancy Pelosi and her friends taking advantage. Point is, if you truly believe, like, that's why low-key I respected the motherfucker,

and I'll probably get shit for this, but who ran up in the Comet Ping Pong. Remember that crazy dude? We were making fun of him in the special. He thought there was pedophiles in there. He ran up with the AK, like, where they at? Saw that they weren't in there, and he was like, oops, my bad. He didn't run in, like, see, I'm getting the pedophiles. Look, I'm on live like a fucking rapper.

There is something to be said for not doubling down. Like, he saw how fucking wrong he was and was like, guys, big mistake. That shit's hilarious, bro. They really just eating pizza out there, right? My bad. The cops are arresting him. He's like, I was That shit's hilarious, bro. They really just eating pizza out there, right? My bad. The cops are arresting him. He's like, I was here for the pedophile ring. What?

When you in that deep, you would think you got a double death. Like, there's no way out now. Yeah. I got to be like, no, I can't find him. There's a hidden chamber. And he was like, no, man, I look for all that shit. No. Take me to jail.

Isn't that fucking crazy, bro? I couldn't believe it. So to me, it just proves It was a farce From the beginning It's just lonely motherfuckers That wanted friends And don't get me wrong We all want friends

We all want some community Yeah You know But when you go in there And the first thing you do Is take selfies When you steal the podium Which is lit

I would do it too That shit was fire That picture was fire That was amazing My man was walking out Like it was a guitar Strumming that podium Yeah I know he was

single because no wife gonna let you bring on my fucking podium podium but every single dude is like this is so lit this is in the living room yeah when you share a place it's like where i can't even get a tv i just won the negotiation for a tv yep i had to call my girl's mom i was like i had to shame my my TV in my house. I don't know if y'all noticed me post the TV. And I post and I zoom in a bit. It sucks I got to zoom in. I was just shaming.

Eventually got back to Mom Dukes. And she was like, yeah, it is kind of small. I was like, yeah. Mission solved. That's how you do a QAnon. All I'm trying to say is, you don't believe your shit. That's what this whole thing proved. If you truly believe you had to fight for America, there's going to be some bloodshed. It ain't going to be on your side. Yeah. Now we can go into the conspiracy theories. We can go into

like what this really is. And I'd like to have those conversations as well. But baseline, if this is the most extreme people that represent QAnon, right? These is the most extreme people that represent q anon right these are the most extreme people of q anon given the opportunity to do what they had to do to save america they took selfies y'all ain't shit y'all ain't shit you're not about it keyboard warriors you'll pop shit on twitter you'll pop shit on instagram you're gonna share all these videos about oh god look you see how it's they're really Antifa. And they're really all these other people. This is George Soros doing it.

Y'all ain't do shit. That's what you did. Nothing. They did the same shit as Occupy Wall Street. Nothing. They just did it. And they just occupied. Occupy.

That's it. We walk around. Occupy. The White House is there. Zuccotti Park. Also, Zuccotti Park ain't even Wall Street. No, no. It's Wall Street adjacent.

It's adjacent. They did the same shit. Y'all both make a big deal. It was an outdoor park. Not a fucking federal capitol building. Once they got in, you're in the fucking capitol building. Blow it up. Blow it up. Blow it up.

Y'all pussy. You were inside. They had pipe bombs. You in the swamp. You ain't draining nothing nothing bro draining into podiums low-key if they blew it up zoom ruined that whole shit occupying shit is whack now you don't need nothing i'm not gonna occupy the internet yeah you can't it's like it's like those buildings they're libraries to me the capitol building that's a library if people are like like the

white house that's a library you don't need any buildings anymore Buildings used to be the shit Why'd I even buy a place? They used to be The shit buildings You go in the building Like look I'm in this building Buildings are meaningless now We do all our shit over Zoom

You don't need a fucking building I'm not paying rent On this shit right now Yep Buildings are meaningless Real talk bro There's a discussion We should probably have

Yeah I know like Are we gonna get kicked out of here no I'm paying rent but I'm about to stop I'm with you we're moving to Texas don't tease me I'm about to be walking out of here with a camera like a little podium guy I'll be just popping out of here

we about to loot this shit we gotta loot our own shit that's hilarious bro Like a little podium guy. I'll be just popping out of here. We about to loot this shit. We got to loot our own shit. That's hilarious, bro. You were just fucking mic standing on my shoulders, adjusting it as I'm walking down the stairs, not knowing what to do. No, but for real. Look, I want to hear what you guys think.

But that was my immediate reaction. That was my immediate reaction to this shit was like, oh, you guys aren't really about it. You just wanted to take selfies. Y'all some pussies. Y'all are soft. Now, I'm not saying that if you were to do it, it's the right thing. But there's something about people who believe in their shit and they go for it that you respect. Right? Like them Scientology motherfuckers who are like, nah, we believe in aliens.

I mean, even like the BLM protesters, like people like don't condone the violence that they did. But at the very least, they were like, yo, we're burning the whole goddamn police station. That's what I hate when people are like, they're comparing it to BLM? I was like, BLM got busy! They got busy, like it or not! Shit was done! Minnesota don't look

the same! Minnesota don't look the same no more. You walk around Minnesota, a lot of buildings not there. See how useless buildings are now? That's how you defund the police. Get rid of their house. Nah, shit got done though. Shit got done.

I don't know what got done. I mean the explosions and shit. Oh yeah. They got busy. Yeah. These motherfuckers was hanging from the rafters of the Capitol building. Fucking, they look like Burning Man. They were wearing like fucking horns and shit.

They were fucking wearing furs. They were standing around like horns and shit. They were fucking wearing furs. They were standing around like. Oh, man. What are you trying to do, son? Don't compare those terrorists. Redneck man. Passive aggressive Mark over here, dog. He's just plotting because he knows he's not going to go.

It's going to be too much. He's like, ah, that's corny. You got to take the heat off of Florida. That's for those guys that do the capital shit. Because you know a lot of motherfuckers came up from Florida, so he got to take the heat off his state. Oh, they did come up from Florida. No, they didn't.

And you know why they were able to afford it? Because they didn't pay no goddamn taxes. That's why we moved to Florida. It's Texas or Florida. Who wants the business? They're also able to afford it because they just drove their house up to the fucking- Oh, shit. Bad affordable.

You always home. They're like, go home. We're like, we're here. They knew that. This is the yard. They're visionaries. Buildings are dead. We got to have a building we can drive. That's They're visionaries. Buildings are dead. We got to have a building we can drive.

That's nuts. Facts. Buildings are dead. Yeah. Yo, if you're in the building business, you about to be butthurt, bro, because it's over for you. Buildings are dead. That was a great sentence.

Building business butthurt. That was just good. Thanks, guys. Thanks. Thanks. Drew, I'm surprised by you, bro. I'm surprised. that you weren't there you

son I was there bro he was one of those bread bag damn motherfuckers out here with my bodega my Nike bodega maga you're talking shit but you can't tell me you wouldn't have taken a selfie in like the chamber he not saying overthrow the government

son son son that's some shit I would absolutely you are so pro America son taking a selfie in the chamber, right? He's not saying overthrow the government. Sorry, sorry, sorry. That's some shit. You are so pro-America, son. I'm pro-America. So pro-America. You're against all that treasonous shit. I'm against it, bro. Like, that was some treasonous bullshit

that they pulled yesterday. Yeah, I'm being critical of it. Nah, but you're not. Not hard enough. Not hard enough, son. What else you want? You're like, oh, they just... This ain't a game, my motherfucker. They not about it. Not hard enough, son. What else you want? You're like, oh, they just... This ain't Dateline, motherfucker.

They not about it. They went in and said... Have you been sexually harassed by me? Nah. What podcast you think this is? You see a butt under my chair? Bro, I'm terrorist. Take that shit to NPR.

No, they're not terrorists because they didn't do no terror. Son, a lady got killed. Oops. I've never felt less bad in my life About a lady getting killed bro I've never felt less bad This bitch is a crazy QAnon freak I think like the guards killed the lady

That's the worst terrorism ever They should have killed more of them They didn't even show up with guns bro They did have guns No they didn't Who had the gun Phil Son they had guns Show up with guns, bro. Where is the guns? No, they didn't. Yes, they did. Who had the gun? Phil?

Son, they had guns. Who had the guns? There was no guns, bro. Showed up with hats and scarves. Son, there was some guns. There was no. I'm sure there were some guns. There was some guns, son.

There was a gun or two. Son, did you see any of the videos? There were guns, son. I don't even know if there was guns because I wonder if DC got a strict gun rule. They do, yeah. There's no carry in DC Boom, so there wasn't even guns. I'm telling you Municipal

Walked in they weren't getting a clack in nothing. They're breaking windows. They're. That's the right permit. They walked in. They weren't getting a clack and nothing. They're breaking windows. They're like, you know it's not open carry. Oh, my fault. They didn't break the windows. Yeah, they did. All right, they broke a window.

Yeah, they broke a window. Isn't that how the girl got shot? What happened? I think she was climbing in through the broken window. And then she just got bop, bop. I think so. Look, you're trying to overthrow the government. One person got killed.

What you mean? You're not overthrowing the government, bro killed Y'all Y'all did alright They not overthrow the government They soft That was the stated intention What the reality was Who cares The stated intention is We about to fucking We

We overthrowing this whole thing We keeping our guy in office You try to stage a coup And you lost one person I got all kind of light The most brilliant shit Ever happened And every country

Should learn from this The guy carrying the podium No not that But also that too just let them in like when people go they did exactly that and it worked no we're we're storming the the kingdom we're storming the castle okay that's your whole other castle let them hang out in the castle and eventually they're gonna be like well we gotta get back to work So do you know how pussy We look around the world right now? We do look pussy

We look mad pussy Tell him pull up Tell him pull up I had Germans in my DM saying I can't believe y'all let some shit like that What happened last time? That's what I'm saying What happened last time?

The fact that they're able to talk shit right now We looking pussy out here Boom baby We're not playing no games with Germany We looking pussy out here They Boom, baby. We're not playing no games in Germany. We looking pussy out here. They speak English now. We look pussy. That's like if the Knicks started talking shit to the Lakers right now.

That's what they did to my DMs. My Knicks won five out of six. But for real, what happened? Who is it? I don't even know. Al connected. That's them. Yep.

Honestly, in all seriousness, no. The world is not looking at us like I don't know if we look pussy I think we look crazy we look crazy what did they do can someone explain what they did they went into the building you could go to the building on Monday if you get an appointment you could walk the building's open we were in

there's a difference between doing like a White House tour and like breaking into the White House is there though because what did they do what did they do differently What did they do differently? Broke the windows. One window broken. That's the most damage you could do? Going through people's offices,

fucking carrying out podiums, scaring all the fucking senators. They probably want a new podium. They've been doing podium things on that for a long time. They've been podiuming them. They've been podiuming them for so long.

I hate you right now. All I'm saying is that shit was whack. So much harder on that anti-America shit. You should be going hard. As an American, I'm embarrassed at that type of revolution. I'm embarrassed at that level of rebellion. I like that.

All right, guys. Listen, I know a lot of you around the world have wanted to watch Schultz Saves America, and for whatever fucking reason, your country isn't allowing you to play it. And I have the solution right now. Schultz Saves America is the Netflix special that we just put out. And you can watch it. All you got to do is switch your VPN. OK, what's a VPN? It doesn't even matter. You don't even know what a VPN is. It basically tricks your Internet into thinking it's in a different country. It basically tricks your internet into thinking it's in a different country. So if you're in North Korea and watching this right now, which you're

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especially the one from Surfshark. Unlimited devices. You got your phone, you got your iPad, you got your laptop, you got everything connected to this VPN. So you got nothing to worry about. Now you have the no borders option was what I was just telling you about before. You also got camouflage mode. Okay, camouflage mode. Make sure that even your internet provider can't tell you're using a VPN. Stay private, especially you guys in North Korea. So watch all of your favorite movies or shows

streaming on devices that are only available in other countries like Sheltz Saves America. All you gotta do is use Surfshark, okay? Remember, that is surfshark.deal slash flagrant. Use the promo code flagrant. 83% off a two-year plan and three extra months for free right now. Now, let's get back to the show. As an American, I'm embarrassed at that type of revolution.

I'm embarrassed at that level of rebellion. I like that. As an American, we're rebellious motherfuckers take the tea in the water yeah you even take the team put it in the water they were just selfies with the tea you took selfies with the tea yeah like influencers bro influencers where's all these tiktok stars talking about they want their fucking guns and they love trump that's your chance right there click click boom click click boom where is the clacking bitch got shot dead in her head call it duty this got duty

man that's a woman guy duty bro why you got duty she thought she was climbing through boom done done you know what i mean you are dead yeah stupid r. Boom. Done. Done. You know what I mean? You are dead. Stupid. RIP to her family. But low key, she died. She,

she the bravest of all of them. She died believing in some shit. She was like, we are, in her mind, they overdo the government.

I mean, her mind is mostly on the floor. The part of, right before she got killed, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like mostly on the floor. The part right before she got killed. Oh, scatterbrained ass bitch. Scatterbrained. I'm just saying, bro. Think about that.

She died a noble death. She thought that she was overthrowing the government. Yeah. Noble to her people. I mean, you think she's tight, though, like in the afterlife looking down at that shit being like, fuck. I'm the only one? Yeah.

She might be, bro. You guys weren't about that. Like that like literally it was like they had like a pact and then she was the only one that died it's always one white bitch that die at these fucking white supremacist rallies right they gotta sacrifice a white yeah they do right at the charlottesville shit didn't a white girl get run over by a car yeah right yeah yeah yeah now this girl got shot point blank doodied she got straight duty do you think that when the dude hit her like he had video game flashbacks he was like oh that was a killer shot this is fucked up that we're laughing but she tried to overthrow my country so suck dicks yeah fuck talk. Did they have a plan? The plan was to get in.

It was a one point plan. Get in. That's to your point? I've just let him in? They never think what they do when they get there. Motherfuckers don't think. You gotta let motherfuckers in. Nobody thinks forward. Nobody thinks about the future of nothing. So you just let them get in. Here you go. Do your thing.

Their goal was to postpone the electoral college vote. Had that worked? It did. Do your thing. Their goal was to postpone the electoral college vote. Hey, that worked. It did for a while. For a couple hours. But then it backfired. Al, can I tell you how stupid that is? Let me tell you. Let's say that they get the Senate to stop the vote, right? Where does it go?

If you had to guess. Who then votes on it? Supreme Court? The House. Who's the head of the House? Pelosi? Nancy Pelosi. Yeah, but- That shit getting voted on.

Yeah, but Republicans- Skeletor looking bitch. Republicans still have power in the House, though. Say what? They still have- They still control the House, Republicans. No. Yes, they do.

No. Yes, they do, sir. No. Okay. I think Dems control the House. No, Republicans have both, and we just got the Senate now with winning. We got the House after. I think we've been had the House, yo.

Yeah. We might have the fact, Jacoby, but I'm pretty sure we don't have that. I think Democrats have the House. I'm pretty certain. And then they just tied up because of Georgia. And then they got tiebreaker because of Kamala Harris. And that's what shocked me is this is when you... I was expecting this November 3rd or 5th or whatever.

When they finally gave it to Trump, I was like, oh, I thought whatever side loses is going to be riots. They didn't do shit for three months. Pull up. Talking all that shit. They was mobilizing. Can I ask y'all a serious question?

A serious question. If we really believed in our heart, if we truly believed in our heart that motherfuckers were trying to undermine america and destroy america and taking babies and sucking their fucking adrenochrome if we really believed all of that yeah i 100 walk into the white house take a selfie dip out yo as i was saying that i was just like literally as i was saying i was like life is so good i probably let them do that shit until i had nothing to fight for and then i go you know

fight for it but like right now yeah i just bought bitcoin i mean i got i got things to live for i just paid my taxes for the year i gotta get it a year worth that's the thing like i'm not gonna risk my year i just paid in yeah you know so you put the tokens in a video game. I just gave the IRS the tokens. Yeah. Time for me to play. Yeah, buddy. That's it.

I mean, I know the government is doing fucked up shit around the world, and I let all that shit happen. Mark, you don't got to bring up all that. But I'm saying- We're not doing fucked up shit about the world. But I'm saying, like, with the Adrena Grumps thing- We're babysitting. Go join those fucking treasonous ass motherfuckers.

They'll be talking shit on our team. That was a pro-america point that's the way it was he's saying the whole world corrupt why he no no he said america's corrupt around my point is that you're saying like all these adrenochrome people like they think that they're doing all this fucked up shit and they just let it happen and i'm saying that that's true because i know that there's fucked up shit happening and i just let it happen also no we don't do fucked up shit. Nah, bro. I think that you're thinking about America as someone else, bro. I think he's talking about the South.

South America? South America. He's talking about Latin America. Yeah, I was talking about South America. Latin X. Yeah, Latinx. Latinx America. Don't talk about Texas like that, yo.

No, no. We're building a wall, all right? We're taking care of our Latin America. Yo, that's facts. That's really true, bro. What were you going to say, Al? I wasn't going to say anything. You were.

You were going to say something about Black Lives Matter. You were going to Black Lives Matter. I was correcting Mark because he was speaking blasphemy. Because he was almost not on our side. Yeah, yeah. So wait, what's the conspiracy angle? Is there one? That they let him in.

Yeah. I think it's clear that they let him there one? That they let a man. I think it's clear that. They let a man, right? They let a man. There was a memo passed out, don't shoot him, even though one lady had to get got. But because any other date I should have been like open fire. Yeah, but you got to sacrifice a white woman, bro.

You got to do that. The most disrespected person in the world. Honestly, the most disrespected woman on the planet. Really? When you want to talk about it? If you really want to discuss it, when it comes to like- Hey, let's talk. It needs a discussion that needs to be had.

I think it needs to be had. Go ahead. White women? Yeah. The most shot in the head at? All right, guys. You just listened to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode. If you want to continue to listen to that episode, subscribe, join the Asshole Army Patreon.

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