Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Solves the Gas Crisis

Episode Date: March 10, 2022

0:00 - start 0:10 - diplomacy with Saudi Arabia 8:00 - diplomacy with Mexico 16:50 - the Rock's come price 42:00 - co v id makes your brain smol? 50:00 - Women led countries start more wars? 55:55 - Florida teacher attacked by 5 year old Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a CHOIR then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf

What's up, everybody, and welcome to Saudi Arabia's Flagrant Two. It's your boy, Shultz. I'm here with Akash Singh. I'm here with Mark Gagnon. I'm here with Alex Mead. I'm here with Miles Media. We even got the truffle, who's very apologetic for any stress that he might have caused Saudi Arabia. And I just I just want to say that I understand diplomatic relations between the United States and Saudi Arabia haven't been the greatest. You know, from it's been a little tense for the last. I don't know how long ago was 2001, September 11th. How long ago was it when two of our favorite buildings went down?

That was fucked up. Yes. Right. And obviously, you know, they had a lot to do with it. But we got to move on. It's time. You know, time heals all wounds. It should.

You know, and it also heals buildings collapsing to the ground even building seven what happened to that one i don't know yeah uh the point i'm trying to say is you know a lot it's time that these countries come together yes it's time why because we need what we need we need alliances we need friends we need friends everybody's gonna make it seem like this is about oil being like, you know, seven, eight dollars a gallon. It has nothing to do with that. We live in the city.

Why would you be so presumptuous? You're presuming. Don't presume, please. Don't presume. Don't presume. This is about two powerful nations coming together and forming alliances so we can all be safe. Yes.

We don't care about oil. I take Ubers. That's on the driver. Yeah. Oil. I didn't even know. Does Saudi Arabia even have oil? We don't know. We don't care about oil i take ubers that's on the driver yeah oil i didn't even know does saudi even have oil we don't know oh we don't know the point is people are gonna make it look like oh my god you guys are just kissing saudi arabia's ass so like opec starts like digging up

some more oil or however you get i don't even know where they get i resent that accusation exactly why can't we just want friends why can't i just like a culture you know what i mean why can't i just like a country and you know be willing to overlook certain politics just in the name of friendship? Yo, real talk, mind your business. Like, I can tell the Americans, like, if they want to bomb the fuck out of Yemen, let them bomb it. So what? It's Yemen. It's Yemen.

What's Yemen? I thought it was a food. Me too. I thought they owned all the bodegas in Brooklyn. They seem pretty cool. Yeah, I like those guys. I like them too. Well, we don't need this tension.

It's too much tension. I think that we need to work on diplomatic relations with Yemen as well, as long as Saudi Arabia is okay with that. If they're not, then whatever they want to do. That would be nice. Absolutely. Let's try to calm things down in the region. Absolutely.

100%. What else is there? If you want to kill a journalist that talks some shit about you, who are we to say don't chop up their body inside a Turkish embassy? You know what? Who are we to say that? That's nosy of us. It is nosy of us. Being nosy is not a good quality.

No, it's not. It's not a good quality. And a lot of people in that region don't fucking like it. Okay? Yeah. I'm just saying, guys, you know, there's a lot of people out here that they're not looking out for the future of America. Truly. And to be honest, the future of Saudi Arabia.

That's also just as important. Very important. Very important. Yeah. They don't like this right now. They don't like charging people $9 a gallon for food and gas. Who would like such a thing? No, these are good, reasonable, God-fearing people.

Absolutely. God don't want you to pay $8 a gallon. No. Is that ran anywhere? No, I don't think. I think it's a pillar of Islam to not be greedy. The newest testament. Yeah, the newest testament.

Do you understand? Which I respect highly. Me too. You know, the utmost respect. Hey, listen, this is not a game out here. $8 is not good for nobody. Both sides lose. Thank you.

Thank you. Why are we going to let white people divide us? These Russians is out here dividing good, diverse relationships. Malcolm warned us about this. Malcolm, a good Muslim man. What did Malcolm say? Malcolm warned us about this. The white man is going to divide you?

Divide and conquer. That's his strategy. Is that what he's trying to do to us? That's what he said. These white devils. The white devils. The white devils is trying to divide us we're not gonna let that happen we're not come on bro cough up that oil wait wait what hold on what i didn't know i didn't mean that is this all just about oil no that's what you just said i can't just revere a country.

You literally just said cover the oil. No, I didn't mean like that. Also, you don't even know what type of oil I mean. Olive oil? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You don't think they use olive oil out there? You don't think they got a little hummus, a little baba ganoush?

You have a gas tank around your neck. You don't even know if gas is in here. That's presumptuous of you. Why would I put gas on my chain? It says gasoline on gasoline on the label yeah that's so i could throw people off like when you got a jesus chain it's really jesus okay everybody with jesus came really got jesus on their chain mark all those dudes that got diamonds on their chain it's real diamonds or it could be fakes it could be fake it's cubic zirconiums do you know what i I'm saying? So this might not even be gasoline. Yeah, it looks like a flex that I'm wearing the most

valuable commodity in the world on my chain while everybody else out here got gold and all this other dumb shit. I'm just saying. It might look like that. This is the real shit. I'm out here balling. Bitch is getting mocked up. Do you know what I mean? Soaking wet.

Out here pushing packs on the block. You got it for the love. I'm pushing petroleum, dawgs. I'm out here pushing the real pee. But that has nothing to do with us talking to Saudi Arabia. It seems like you're just sucking up to the Saudi Arabian government because you want cheap oil. I just

resent the accusation. Me too. Say how I feel. He can't just appreciate a culture in a country and want to move on from icy relations why is every time the white man want to divide us why is every time the white man want to come that's exactly what you just said what do you what do you mean are you russian no are you really russian no i'm not russian mark might be russian look at the colors on his fucking jersey right now. He's Canadian. He's Canadian.

They got certain things that we like over there. Hold on, hold on, hold on. 50% of our foreign oil comes from where? Canada. My boy, Mark. Not like that matters at all.

Not like that matters at all. All I'm saying is I knew I saw something in you. You fucking killed it in Toronto, bro. Mark was murdering it in Toronto, bro. Marco murdered it in Toronto, bro. How great were those shows in Toronto? Hey, listen. Trudeau, paint your face whatever fucking color you want.

I agree. You know what I'm saying? Do it. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Can we just put it aside for a little bit? He went brown. He was in line with our brothers. He was just trying to support Saudi Arabia. We misinterpreted as Indians. That's it. That's all he's trying to do. We were the racists. We projected our racial history

onto that. Why do we do that? Canada doesn't have the same history as us. No big deal. Is that right? You just called Trudeau a cuck like two days ago. I didn't call him a cuck. I said his mom got rinsed out by the Rolling Stones. That'suck. I said his mom got rinsed out by the Rolling Stones. That's different. I said his mom got rinsed out by the Rolling Stones.

Which is, she did. They were sticking drumsticks in that broad. That's facts. That's facts. That's written in the Rolling Stones book. I don't know if that's in the book. That was. I do think we should talk about that's probably a good thing.

You know what I mean? That's probably You know Like a good thing You know what I mean Like you know Say it That's cool You know Say it You know Trudeau Probably a little musical

Because of that You know what I mean Okay I just think we should You know Maybe make sure Relations with Canada are good Would you like some seltzer?

Would you like Would you like a little seltzer? That's What a coincidence That we got the Canadian driver here I can't This is so weird That's crazy

It's so random Some people are gonna say Yo you just put it there so that you could curry favor with Canada. They would say that. Hummus flavor today. Hummus flavor today.

They would say that, but the reality is we love Canada Dry Seltzer. We just happen to love it. What other seltzer exists besides Canada Dry? I don't know. I've never heard of one

that you're drinking from right now. What was that? Was that a liquid death? What? Was that a liquid death? No, this is Canada Dry. It's my favorite seltzer. This is the best seltzer.

Matter of fact, you get some stains in your shirt, you could clean it out with Canada Dry, and you could drink it. This shit has multiple uses. Shouts to Canada for their utilitarian products. Real talk. You want to wipe some blackface off your face? Canada Dry on a cloth. Canada Dry. Perfect. Immediately, you take it off. All I'm trying to say is we've got to look

into the relationships that we have. Okay? Reassess. Reassess. It's time to reassess things. 100%. You know who's second place on oil imports? Who's second place? Mexico with 11%. Hey! We just had this place cleaned earlier today we had to clean earlier today she's honduran she's not from she's from honduras mark you're getting it off by a bus stop potato i don't know you know what i mean exactly we need to like what

are you even saying why would we even why don't we even do that yes thank you oh what is that what's going on here oh oh shit people are gonna say that we're pandering to mexico just because we get some oil from them that's not fair we're just switching to swag that's not fair at all people are gonna say we just had these on set because we wanted to immediately pander to the people that provide our oil and make our life a little bit better and easier. You know, it's just, you know, there you go. People are going to say that we're doing this to pander. I don't want them to say that, and I don't think that's fair. Hey, we never pandered on this podcast ever.

I never pandered. I don't believe in pandering. I don't believe in it. I'm thinking. Literally, I'm literally just trying to make a better world I don't want World War 3 Do you want World War 3? No I don't want World War 3

I just want good relationships And I don't care about what natural resources a country has And we don't care what y'all do in your country We need to mind our own business a little bit more 100% That's it If they want us to cover our women up Some of these hoes need to cover us

Fat ones? Fat ones? Fat ones? Yes, why not? National Women's Day, these fat girls all out here celebrating too much. They celebrating too much. Do you know what I'm saying? Word up.

What's the guy, Mohammed bin something? Bin Salam. Mohammed is the guy. That's the guy, Mohammed. No, Mohammed bin Salam The guy in Saudi Arabia How do you want them to dress fam?

You know we've been taking fashion advice From other countries forever Maybe we need to switch it up a little bit Yeah it's a little racist That we don't take fashion advice From non-white countries Yeah we only go take it from white countries There are these motherfucking white people

Coming in trying to divide and conquer Again Yeah We're not going gonna have that happen I'm talking about Venezuelans bro I'm talking about Venezuelans because we also need support we need support for Venezuela

yes absolutely and the fact that we have absolutely nothing to eat on set is our way of showing you we understand what you go through okay we are here for y'all as well right this is us trying to relate to all these people for one reason and one reason only dove because we want a stronger world yeah we want a world that is united together it has nothing to do with the fact that your countries have oil right okay get over that shit so why do you only

start caring about this last two weeks what why did you only start caring about this the last two weeks? What? Why did you only start caring about like... Who are you even talking about? When do we care about things? Have I not always told you how Saudi Arabia was super lit? Yeah. Well, you were talking about... Have I not always told you? You know, you said that they were involved in 9-11. Hey, I'm sorry.

I didn't say they were involved. I said they did it. He said... They literally flew the planes. Not everybody's going to be a good driver. And it's time to get over it. Okay. That's what he said.

Wait, who said that? Nobody in particular particular i didn't say such a thing but i am just saying we don't know who the mastermind was do you know what i mean saudis how they gonna fly planes bro yeah do they know how to fly even what do you think they normally do if it was a carpet I don't think it would have bashed into the fucking World Trade Centers. But it's not a plane. A plane is where it's a problem. Don't you think? It's a little bit different thing. It's a lot harder to maneuver.

A carpet is one, two people max. That's it. This is a very different situation. That would have been a splat. No, I don't think they would hit it. I think they would have moved around it. Oh, because the carpet also has a minor... They know how to move that. They have experience with those things. Or they could have just gone in an open window and put a new rug down. That would have also been nice.

Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. What were you saying right there? That sounded a little racist. How was that racist? I just wanted to play a part of the game. I just wanted to do what everyone else is doing. No, no, no, no, no, no, Mark. We're not being racist here. What is a game? What game do you think we're playing right we're always having fun right oh it's world war three fun to you mark is that fun no are you one of those liberals

huh what does that mean wait do we like liberals or conservatives today the middle right okay yeah yeah it's war time mark yeah we don't have time for your liberal shenanigans oh you want all the animal rights huh i want all the bathrooms and that kind of shit do you know what kind of bathrooms they got in a in a bunker mark what kind of they're not gender equality bathrooms i don't know i live in america we don't have bunkers for that kind of shit mark's the type that's against fracking and shit like that. Like, yo, we want the oil. Yo, we're starting to fracking.

Wait, should we build a pipeline, you think? Mark? All the pipelines. Yes. Okay. I want it. I'll be slinging mad pipelines. Yes.

Okay. Keystone. Wrestling. Pipelines. Natty Light. Yeah, Coors. Coors. We're going to through all the Pipelines

Directly to the AEPI What is your frat? KaiSai as well Miles what is your Also KaiSai You let Miles into your frat It was an Asian frat Wait why is it Asian?

That shit was bad Asian. All China needs is the oil. We'll forget about that fucking pandemic they started real quick. Unless all it needs to happen. We already forgot about the Uyghurs. The what? Exactly.

Sound like Mark for a second. Hold on. I can't take that. I literally tried and it don't come off of me, whoa. Sounded like Mark for a second. Hold on. I can't take that. I literally tried, and it don't come off of me, dog. Because that's how much respect I got for my people. I'm out here, bro. Anyway, can we start the podcast? Let's start.

I think it's time. Do you think that we've made it clear our position? I think very clear. They know who our allies are and who our enemies are. That's American vodka on the table. That is American vodka. Respect to Venezuela. We got inflation too over here.

Yeah, hey, we get it. You know what I'm saying? We get it. How does all this pandering help the little guy that has to pay $9 a gallon? Yo, yo, yo. We're not pandering, dude. Who is pandering? We're trying to create alliances.

Now, if it just so happens that these alliances help out the little guy, then what? Yeah. What are you doing? What are you doing to help the little guy by poking all the holes in our argument yeah how's that helping the little guy reaching across the whatever table i'm fighting for my brothers and sisters i got a. I don't need no gas. Okay, Stephen Colbert. I see you. I see you, Steve. You know what I mean? Stephen Colbert did a joke about that. In real talk, it was a joke. Yeah, people really want to jump on it. I don't like Colbert, but they didn't understand the whole joke.

Yeah. He basically made a joke that he was like, hey, we can do whatever we need to do. If we got to pay an extra gallon or two, let's sacrifice. I'll pay $15 a gallon for gas. I don't care. care and then he goes because i drive a tesla and everybody's like oh what an elitist but he's actually just saying i'm a piece of shit and i'm just morally you know what i mean that's the joke and then everybody jumped all over him and was like how dare steven colbert be so out of touch yeah he's a piece of shit what happened i don't like he's a piece of shit for that joke absolutely absolutely fucked up bro. What a fucking douchebag that guy is.

You know what I'm saying? He's behind you. This is going to be so much fun. It's five minutes. You look like the Virgin Mary right now. I'm like fucking muscle doc trying to wash his back. Where is that shit? You can help me?

You want me to just get it for you? Yes, son. Can you get it for me, please? Goddamn shit, motherfucker. I'm out here trying it yes son can you get it for me please goddamn shit motherfucker i'm out here because because bro you needed it in that moment you needed that shit you was acting crazy all right all right can we start the pot yeah let's do it okay let's go do you guys want to do it in arabic should we do the pot in arabic today or no no guys come on all right in all seriousness though we do the pod in Arabic today or no? Guys, come on. All right.

In all seriousness, though, then we have to make a promise that we're not going to pander anything. We're not going to like, obviously, we're just joking around, but we're not going to do any pandering or anything like that. OK, OK. So start the pod. Yalla, yalla. OK. OK, ready?

What's up everybody um what how much do you think the rocks come is worth how much do you think honestly yeah rogan undersold it you think oh my god yeah all right guys we gotta take a break for a second because you guys got to make money on war okay world war three might happen and if you got some extra cash you need to invest that shit so you come out on top that is the american way all right and you're not going to be able to invest in some good old fast and petro like me your boy was pulled up outside the the mobile station you know getting ready this was my investment but you might be smarter than me you might want to go make

some actual investments in the stock market and i'll tell you how you're going to make the most money when you do that you're going to join the red panda club okay if you're tired of not knowing what to invest in and you want to know the safest stocks to invest your money in then join red panda stock club you know ian from his coverage in Forbes, The Breakfast Club, and USA Today. Ian has an impressive track record and his predictions are always on point. He's helped many of our friends make money, including our guys Charlemagne and Alex. Ian's tip of the week, buy two tech companies and two index funds, okay? VOO, VTI, Apple, and Microsoft are the four safest combinations to invest in. Now, here are just a few things you will get as part of the Stock Club.

The four best stocks to invest in for the long term, a year worth of the best companies to invest in, the two stocks to invest in if we go into a full-blown recession, unlimited access for 365 days, and a weekly meeting with Ian and the Red Panda family every Monday night at 9 p.m. Central after Market Monday. So join the Red Panda Stock Club and investing will never be easier for you. Go to joinredpanda.com and enter the code flagrant to get 50% off for the next two weeks. After that, the price will go back up. Now, this is a disclaimer. Results are not guaranteed. JoinRedPanda.com is not a registered investment advisor. All investment and financial opinions are expressed by JoinRedPanda.com,

are from the personal research and experience of the owner of the site, and are intended as educational material. Now, let's get back to the show. Infamous tour. New Orleans this weekend. I will see you motherfuckers there. Okay? Few tickets left.

Alabama, you sold out. But New Orleans, we will see your ass there. The Orpheum, going to be crazy. TheAndrewSchultz.com. Go spread the word. New Orleans, pull your asses out. Then we got Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Montreal, New York City. Go get them. TheAndrewSchultz.com. Akash, what you got, New York City. Go get them.

Theandrewschultz.com. Akash, what you got? March 18th through the 20th, I'm coming back to Texas. San Antonio LOL Comedy Club. April 1st and 2nd, I'm in Toledo, Ohio at the Funny Bone. April 8th and 9th, Tampa Improv. And April 22nd and 23rd, Toronto Royal Theater. Hurry up, buy the tickets.

They're selling out. All the other shows are listed on akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. Yo, mad love for The Rock, but like, I'm good on The Rock's comp. Oh, he was a hater, bro. Are you saying just to drink it? Yeah, but you're just gonna drink it. That's what I'm saying. For you, it's not that much, but for a woman who might use it

to get pregnant. Oh, is that what we're talking about? That was valuable. I thought we were talking about rubbing it all over her face and body, so I was like, I'm not gonna spend $2 million on that. A couple thousand for that. Yeah. But like, yeah. If you turn out looking like The Rock, I'll pay a couple thousand.

You would rather look like The Rock than you? Son, he has beautiful skin. Yeah, he's got good skin. No, his skin is fucking crazy good. And obviously, muscles. Oh, I got that already. Yeah, you're already good. I'm there.

You're 100% good. I could take The Rock. Take The Rock and what? Just a hand competition. That's it. Grip grip strength he got him boy grip strength straight up finger strength you might have i got that that i honestly i think we need to start like competing al like against the world's strongest people because i really wonder if you could beat these guys in specific just finger tasks yeah i think I could take anybody. Low key?

Do you have the strongest fingers on the planet? Yeah. You don't think some bull dyke got the strongest fingers on the planet? Right? Just hitting pussies with this shit for years? Yeah, I haven't done that in a while. 100%? That's too much effort.

Were you the best at fingering girls ever? Sometimes. I damaged them. Really? Yeah, that's how we did the abortions girls ever? Oh, sometimes I damaged them. John, really? Yeah, that's how we did the abortions, bro. Oh, my God! Marv! That's what he did, right?

Marv! Holy shit, Marv! Is that too crazy? What the fuck, dude? Jesus Christ! I declare a stone war. That's what he did. You got to send him the Twin Towers, then? Oh, shit. Bro, he's Russia. That's what he did. You got to send him the Twin Towers? Yeah.

Bro, he's Russia. That's what happened. Jesus. These guys are crazy. Al, I mean, that is a wild technique if that's what you were doing. I mean, I don't kiss and tell. Okay. So basically there was a conversation where Rogan said that The Rock could sell his cum for $2 million.

Yeah. He said $1 million. Sorry, a million. And if he jerked off twice a day, he'd get $2 million a day. Really Rock could sell his cum for $2 million. Yeah. Because women. He said a million dollars. Sorry, a million. And if he jerked off twice a day, he'd get $2 million a day. Really? Just for his cum. And women would actually be willing to pay because they'd want to have a kid that was that like buff, smart.

100%. Et cetera. Now, how much can cum predict the outcome of a human? That's the weird thing. I feel like his dad's cum is more valuable. Because the dad's cum. Is the one that made The rock keep going boy i mean like keep going because you gotta tighten up that dude you got some good thoughts right now yeah you gotta because you gotta mix like the rocks i'm thinking listen every time mark pats his head like he's got cord rows in yeah during the podcast take

a shot okay okay go i'm just saying like his genetics are great you know what i mean but he got his genetics from his dad and from his mom so if you're just some random chicken you know minnesota and you're mixing the rocks come with your eggs yeah you're rolling the dice you know what i mean like you might get mostly your genetics and that shit might be trash yes but it's worth it's worth a roll of the dice ain't it i mean you're gonna get a better chance of having good genetics than if you just fuck the bus boy at the restaurant exactly think of think of the dudes women have let come in them yeah me these girls don't let me come in them with my veiny testicle i'll be honest with you One of my testicles look crazy

Don't undersell yourself I'll be honest with you One of my testicles looks like the traitor from 300 Your testicle's the rock, bro That shit's a rock That's a real rock right there Yes So they do just let you come in them

Yeah Why is that? Yeah, it seems crazy Have you noticed that? No, I haven't You've never come in them. Why is that? Yeah, it seems crazy. Have you noticed that? No, I haven't. You've never come in a girl? No. No, never.

Never once. Never once. Never once. What do you mean? Never once, this guy. I don't even know what that is. And obviously you've never done that besides just once? Correct.

One girl. One girl? Yeah. But sometimes girls let you come in them, dog. That's crazy. Real talk. What is the upside? Sometimes you look at them after you're

like you are foolish i'm like what the fuck did we just do there's a little bit of concern you couldn't go bought the rocks cum yeah 100 the fuck you're doing you could also buy like any harvard grads cum and that would also be like a no no no can you though yeah how do you know that's worth the most say again who's come is worth the most my dad's how much how much my dad dad i told my dad that's a hard one yeah you got the best calm pops i told my dad yo you're coming fire yeah you gotta open that up i dapped him up on his balls yeah that's a hallmark card, dude. You gotta open that up. I dapped him up on his balls. That's a Hallmark card, but the card doesn't open. It just rips when you open it.

Nah, for real. We all love our dad's cum the best. Yeah. You don't love your dad's cum the best. You wore your dad's cum. I know. You think you're pure egg? Bro, you're dressed like your dad's cum right is he not dressed like sperm a little bit bro what plant sperm you know oh

come on out here i'm spermy looking a little bit yeah i'm just saying like you don't appreciate being here like you have to be grateful i appreciate being here i'm just saying my mom probably could have got better cum but then it wouldn't be you bro i wouldn't be me it'd be somebody without asthma probably you know what i mean you got your asthma from your dad's cum i think it was cum asthma you don't think it was always from the male that's what's getting in the way of your breathing is cum so your intelligence yeah like you're choking you're like i know i haven't been able to stop so all the good qualities are coming from your egg not all the good are you mostly egg i think i'm mostly egg is that a new way where we can call dudes uh what we've always wanted to call them

you're just mostly egg a little bit like sometimes you meet a guy you're like yo you are fucking 75 percent egg yeah 100 percent egg it you egg it yeah dude that is crazy do gay people have oil before we keep saying that word do gay people have oil i think i'd everything bro it's more like lotion yeah what's lube made out of yeah it's oil-based vaseline is petroleum. I'm pretty sure petroleum jelly. What a waste of like cut that cut the Vaseline. If we need petroleum right now.

Yeah. Like if that's the same petroleum, is it? I assume so. It can't be two kinds of petroleum. Can they? Can they not? I don't think so. Are we going to have to cut down on lip balms?

Are we going to have to cut down on cocoa butter? Are black people you're going to have to sacrifice? Yo, if cocoa butter got Are we going to have to cut down on cocoa butter? Are black people, you going to have to sacrifice? Nah, nah, nah. Yo, if cocoa butter got oil in it. We could cut down on cocoa butter, but not shea butter. Yo. Shea butter's our shit. That's what I'm saying.

Let cocoa butter go. You could have cocoa butter. You could have Vaseline, but shea butter. No, shea butter is also going to have to go. We all have to sacrifice. Damn. Oh, yeah. What?

Petroleum jelly is made by waxy petroleum material found in oil rigs and distilling it. We're not doing it. We're not doing this no more. Shea butter, gone. Cocoa butter, gone. Vaseline, gone. Petroleum jam. That should work.

We can do petroleum jam. What's the difference between petroleum jam and petroleum jelly? What's the difference, dude? Well, you can't jelly the Twin Towers back together. What? What? What? Mark, why not you can't jelly your planes into the Twin Towers

Perfect opportunity come on goose Goose from top fucking goose from Top Gun, dude. Miles is goose from Top Gun and I won't hear another thing about it and we might need you to fly some Polish... Will you trust a Polish airplane be honest with you?

Is that the real reason why no one's accepting them? You can add them. Take our planes. And America's like, hold the fuck up. You know those ain't getting in the air. We go there, it's just horses. Polish people, these plants. And America's like, hold the fuck up. You know those ain't getting in there. We got some German shit. We go there, it's just horses.

Polish people, these aren't plants. These stay on the ground, they eat carrots. Yo, Germany's on our side for once, right? World War III, Germany's... We don't know where they at. We don't know where they at. We don't trust them. You know what I'm saying?

Who can we trust in this game? We can only trust whites. And blacks. Oh, sick. Okay. Wait, German's not white. I forget this. German's not white. Okay. I told you. Yeah, okay. I forgot. The sound of their language. You already know this. It's too zippy, right? It's too zippy. 100%.

And I say this as someone who has a German last name, but I'm not from Germany. Where are you from? Prussia. That's before Germany. Oh, there you go. I'm Prussian, bro. That's crazy. I'm Prussian.

Yeah, yeah. Try to say some cute shit. I'm going to send bullets in your direction. You know what I'm saying? Prussia, bro. I was from Prussia, and my family knew that shit was about to turn to Germany. They were like, we out. Came to America.

Oh, there you go. You know what I mean? They knew. Okay? We ain't electing no female fucking prime minister do you know what i mean angela merkle waddling around right this look like the old dude from up you won't let the old dude from up make all decisions for your country, Germany, yo? Fuck out of here, bro. It's an International Women's Day. Two days removed.

Did you know that? How would you understand what you're saying right now? Be honest. Listen, we're bouncing around from buzzword to buzzword. Apologize to Saudi Arabia. Apologize to Vietnam. Why? You know why, Al. What do you mean? You know why. I don't. Apologize to Vietnam. Why? You know why, Al.

What do you mean? You know why. I don't. You know what you did. You know what you did. What did I do? You did some stuff. You tell me what I did.

Obviously, I meant to say another country, but I'm fucking rolling with it. I don't understand. Okay. Okay. Venezuela is what I meant to say. But I'm fucking rolling with it. And you got to roll too. That's where Frank Lucas got his drugs from.

I don't understand. Apologize to Vietnam. You sound like a geopolitics expert with a concussion. I don't know what you're saying. Mark, can you just spring roll with me for one fucking second? We're trying to talk about Vietnam right now and international policy and how we can bring everybody together. I'm drowning in about Vietnam right now and international policy

and how we can bring everybody together. Oh, yeah. Okay? Duck sauce right now. We're about to drown you. We're about to drown you. I don't understand. We can hit you with the duck duck.

Okay. Good. Miles writing notes ferociously. Can we get this back on track? Yeah. How much is your cum worth? Say Yeah, how much is your cum worth? Say again? How much is your cum worth?

Oh, God, dude I've tried to measure it Currently, it's worth zero dollars Wait, really? Yeah, and frustration Well, it might be negative dollars It's worth whatever one sheet of paper towel is Yeah, that's negative Yeah, negative It's negative worth one sheet of uh paper towel is yeah that's negative yeah negative it's negative worth one sheet it costs you x amount of money to come

every single time it's a tax you become tax and a little bit of soap also that and a half shower where i only wash from my belly button down yeah yeah yeah i can't come too high on my tits because then i gotta wash more of my body and then that costs me he comes on himself most of the time y'all don't come on yourselves you fucking egg it y'all some real eggs out here y'all not coming on yourselves come on thank you i don't know you don't finish on your back a back it's like that kib k magazine the paper cover okay can you explain to people what what you're saying right now yeah The paper cover. Okay.

Can you explain to the people what you're saying right now? Yeah. It's quite clear what he's saying. Yeah, it's very clear. If you read between the lines, bro, but you don't know how to do that. You need to learn how to read between the lines. Okay. Because that's where I operate. Modern day Morse codes, huh?

Yeah. You can't let the enemy hear. The enemy's listening right now. You don't think Russians listening right now? To this pocket? 100%. Oh, yeah, absolutely. don't think Russians listening right now? To this podcast? 100%. Oh, yeah, absolutely. They got Russians

assigned to this shit. Wait, really? Yeah, and we're slowly converting them. They're becoming fans. They're put on here trying to hate us. Got Zs all over their

fucking outfits and all that shit. But we're converting them one person at a time. What does the Z thing? I don't understand that. What does it stand for? Yeah.

What happens to a Z if you turn it 90 degrees? It's an N. And and then say it out you're not gonna get me that easy what does it stand for uh no i wasn't gonna go with that word that one's a little racist yeah that's what i thought it was that was the answer it does and that's their way of trying to fight back against us now yeah when some zip zips roll fucking tank into your village what are you gonna do you're gonna fight back or is it bad i'm not zipping out if they attack america are we all signing up it depends where in america miles what are you gonna do so the uniforms that's fucking betsy ross right there total war let's go come on you got this yeah come on man

what's everybody's position in the battle what's everybody's position in the battle what's everybody's gonna do i got oh al is 100 he's gonna push the button for the nukes. Yeah. Because your fingers will never fail us. Do you know what I'm saying? We put Al. But what if he breaks the button? Say again? What if he breaks the button? There is a little glass thing.

What if the glass thing doesn't open? And all the guys can't pry it open. But now we have Al. Snaps that thing off. Yeah. No question. Totally easy. Thanos.

Push the button. Total destruction of the world. Son, if you were Thanos, you would kill everybody. Yeah. No. I would be in a population. Snap, son. Everyone would world. Son, if you were Thanos, you would kill everybody. Yeah. How do you even snap, son? Everyone would die. They'd be like, what happened? You'd be like, fuck, my bad. Have you tried snapping, bro?

It was an earthquake. Yeah, chill the fuck out. Don't snap, dude. You need to chill. Al controls the nukes. Relax. I'll calm the fuck down, dude. Diplomacy first. Real talk, bro. diplomacy first all right all right real talk bro what what is in there what what what is that is that the rocks come how much do you have in there that would be the most expensive chain ever you just had a tank full

of duane's that should be that expensive what yeah that'd be fire that's an expensive chain yes yeah i need ben baller on that one fuck get on it ben okay what do i okay then all right mark what does mark do yeah mark is a double agent okay mark the russ Russians think Mark is actually Russian. I'm bi. Yeah, yeah. You're going to be bi. I'm bi-Asian. You're going to be over there.

Bilateral. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go. 100%. You're over there and you're going to give us information that the Russians are telling you.

Okay. You're a double agent. But I'm a double agent. Yeah. Yeah. So I'll also give them information from us. Yeah.

Okay. Wait, no. Yeah. You have to give them the information we tell you so they trust you enough. Okay. Like what?

We're coming over there. Hey, guys, we're coming. Okay. You're going to say something like that. Hey, there's some Polish pilots coming your way.

Okay. Tell them I'm a snap. Okay. I was ready to snap at any moment. Okay. You have to do that. That's your responsibility.

Is there anything else that you'd like to do? No. I mean, most double agents have like a job that to do that. That's your responsibility. Is there anything else that you'd like to do? No. I mean, most double agents have a job that they do also. Are they going there just as a spy? Or do they have like... You're like Point Break. Remember they were surfing undercover?

You're in the real world. But am I like a hockey player that goes over there? No, no, no. You just live in a house with a bunch of cool,ooky characters okay okay but you're also doing spy shit on the side he's a reality show star yeah you're a reality show star there you go 100 big brother but in russia you can't be big brother because they keep you in the house the whole fucking time and that's not gonna be a very good spy is it that's a good point okay we need you out there we need you in the field okay you know collecting information sir building alliances yeah okay uh

what are compromising people i could do that you're like moscow alliances yeah okay uh with compromising people i could do that you're like moscow shore yeah i'm like epstein okay now akash what are you gonna do that's a good ass question bro i have an idea okay do you guys have any ideas yes i think that we'll need a very convenient place to get snacks and drinks that's probably open at all hours is that is that something that you willing to step up to the plate i feel like it's pretty easy do you think you got that i got that okay i also saw a guy who's like a cruise missile talk to me okay so you tuck him into a cannon and launch him and he flies into a building then he can attack anyone and then what i gotta be flying

into a building mark yeah why because that's racist how's that racist and it was very open-minded not racist at all yours felt racist no you're a cruise missile you're just talking a little thing you would like me crashing into a tower and you fly over then you can attack anyone offensive are you trying to say that he's a sellout can we call him a ted cruise missile you fucking right wing sellout. You right wing sing guy. With your ideology. And then what are you going to do other than being the butcher of Manhattan? I'm going to be I'll be a murderer. I'll be

a killer. And I'll run raids. I'll run night raids mostly on schools. And you're going to actually get the best gossip. I think you're going to just kill Russian puss. You're not that type of guy. Well, I will be in Brighton Beach, and I'll just be like busting down box and trying to get information. Busting down box. Yeah.

Hey, tell me some secrets. Is there some secrets in your esophagus? Are you sure there's no secrets in your throat a little bit? Can we get to the bottom of that? You're going to have a lot of time. What's that dangly thing back there? Is that your plans for Ukraine? Oh, okay.

Let me destroy that. Okay. You know? That could be good. 100%. Do you think that that's how we stop the war? Shit, I like your job. That's fire.

But sometimes I need help on my job. I can't do it all by myself. Tag team. I thought Blue Shoe was the tag team partner. Oh, okay, okay. Well, no. You know, our missions are sponsored. We have sponsors for our missions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You, no. Our missions are sponsored. We have sponsors for our missions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't know that? I know now. We have sponsors for our missions. Right. We're still Americans at the end of the day. If we're doing a night raid on a certain town, and we need to stay up.

League Shadow Legends. Exactly. Exactly. But we might need some gamer stuff, so we stay up. Oh, cool. You see what I'm saying? So we'll get all of our missions sponsored then we can also profit during this

horrific tragedy that is World War 3 can we start the pod Miles are you ready to start the pod so ready can someone give me one topic please that we can discuss that's a good sweet topic can I ask you a cum question

whose cum is worth more? The Rock's or LeBron's or like a Mark Zuckerberg's? Yeah, rank them. Let's not worry about fathers. Let's just worry about those three. Rank them. I think it depends.

I think if you already have like one athletic kid, it'd be fun to have a nice little smart retard kid to like build some apps or some shit like that or at least fix things around the house. So I think you want to balance that out depends what you already have if you already have your

like athlete you're like captain of the basketball team you're like high school superstar get a little zuckerberg kid to create you know some financial security for the whole home emotional retard though probably yeah 100 like he's not gonna let you hug him it's gonna be very difficult and there's a high chance he'll be a psychopath and potentially a serial killer right yeah 100 my lebron photographic memory very athletic also mixed babies probably going to be really good looking wow think about that you gotta think about that wow that's a great point that might be what would you who's come would you prefer i would actually i would pay a lot of money for lebron's come what like how much how much do i have like all of it you give up all your bitcoins i'd give up i'd give up all my bitcoins for for lebron's come what like how much how much do i have like all of it you give up all your

bitcoins i'd give up i'd give up all my bitcoins for for lebron's come in my ass i don't know if that works that's a waste oh okay sorry that was crazy right there dude assuming i could get pregnant if i was a woman if you were one i would pay millions of dollars lebron to come in my ass but why the ass why not your pussy i don't know. Just, you know, you want to waste it in the ass? Well, you just get it and then you drop it down with like you take it out with like a baster and then you put it back in to the other orifice. Yeah. I mean, this is

painfully inefficient. Like there's a hole right there. Painfully you. You're going to frack your ass. I think enjoyable for some. For quite a few. I guess you're right. No, no. Listen, I'm not going to push back on this. This is what you like. This is how you want to spend your time and your money. So I'm going to be okay with that. Yeah, 100%. You know, obviously

this is not something you would do during wartime. No. There's things that you wouldn't need to focus on. I give up getting cum in my ass. Okay. You have to. We all have to sacrifice something. Okay. Shea butter, getting cum in his ass. There you go. You know what I mean? How do you think LeBron's going to fit that dick in there without Shea butter? Okay.

You know what I'm saying? This is going to be sacrifices's going to fit that dick in there without Shea Butter? Okay. Good point. You know what I'm saying? This is going to be sacrifices for everybody. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second because I've got to make sure you're managing your money. And when I talk about managing your money, I'm talking about literally the money that you're holding in your pocket every single day. I'm talking about credit cards. I'm talking about IDs.

I'm talking about the important shit, the shit that you need. Okay? You need a wallet that can handle all that. Not a wallet that can handle all that not a wallet that's brittle it's gonna break down a while you might lose you need an extra best wallet on the planet you want all your cards boom they're ready to go right there and you know what happens if you lose your extra akash is there a way that they can get their extra if they lose it i think you might just call that bitch oh you can call it oh you can call you can track it down you

can use your fucking google that's right whatever they have a tracker on it so you never actually lose your wallet matter of fact if somebody steals your wallet you could track that motherfucker down surprise his ass i know what you're thinking oh what if it runs out of battery solar all you gotta do is charge it also i just want to mention uh the fact that the wallets are all rfid protected do you know what that means that somebody can't run up on you, boop you, and steal all your shit. If you want to get an Xter, all you have to do is check out their wallets at Xter.com, E-K-S-T-E-R.com, and get up to 20% off site-wide when you use the code flagrant. Make sure you do that right now. Now, let's get back to the show.

Yeah, if you get COVID, your brains get smaller. Say again? If you get COVID, your brain's smaller. That's you get covid your brain's smaller that's not true that is true that's not true yeah fortune magazine just put out a study that said the people that have covid or had multiple exposures or long covid have had like severe uh changes to their brain chemistry no that's not true it's just you've been in the house with your girlfriend for a while and then your brain adjusts and i think your brain adjusts to the size of the person you're with the most. So it looks like it's smaller just for a moment. But then once you go back out into the world, it will absolutely grow.

If you look at that study, women's brains are actually growing because of COVID. Did you look at that? They're actually getting larger. Yes, because they're in the house with us. That's a lot of people don't realize. So on the average, it's a wash. It's a wash. Or that. Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot of people don't realize oh so on the average it's it's a wash it's a wash uh or that yeah yeah it's a wash oh so you don't actually believe that like any of that stuff no that's not true there's actually no evidence to support that whatsoever so then

how do you make your brain grow back then by not being around your girl yeah by being out with your boys yeah boys trip bachelor party bachelor one bachelor party brain grows right back immediately brains are resilient dude growing brain at the bachelor party yeah a lot a lot a lot yeah get some laser shows and some fucking radio gaga going you're gonna see this brain grow big time yeah big brain time big brain that's cool okay come on give me some more okay uh did you see harvey once he was trying to smuggle milk duds into prison yeah was this pitiful why can't the guy haveuggle milk duds into prison was this pitiful why can't the guy have some milk duds talk to him Akash

he's in jail he's probably going to get fucked a lot he's going to have a miserable time is it that big of a deal he having some milk duds this is the first time me and Akash agree on prison reform this is sick welcome to the liberal side

I don't agree on prison reform this is sick welcome to the liberal side dog are you being liberal i don't agree in prison reform but milk duds but milk duds come on bro that's not reform in prison let a motherfucker have some candy every once in a while don't milk does as a candy feel like a punishment that's a trash i'd be like yeah i get it boom peanut m&ms like dog peanut m&, you can't enjoy those long enough. This guy's got years to fucking chew on one candy. Oh, good point. Peanut M&M's, you blast through. You love them.

Milk dud, you could really milk, for lack of a better term. And while you're in jail, you want things to last as long as possible outside of rape. Outside of rape. Yeah, that's a good point. Mouth rape. Mouth rape. Outside of either rape, you just want this. Let's just extend time.

Anything that can pass time. So what's the candy that's the most annoying to eat? Jawbreakers, Milk Duds. Oh my God. And then if his mouth is occupied, he can't get it. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. So true. He's just protecting himself. And he can probably buy you off a couple rapes if you just offer a guy a rape with some Milk Duds.

Hey, buddy, how about this? Or roll in a movie. That's right. Or roll in a movie. Yo, he might still be able to get them rolls going. He's pretending he can for sure. You think that he's saying, hey. Oh, yeah, when you get out, I got you. He might be raping again in prison. Hey, if you want to be in a movie, you know, find my dick and suck it.

Oh, yeah. Why would he stop raping? Yeah, that's a good point. Why would he stop the rape? I guess there's no women around. He was mostly doing that to women. Yeah, but if he's a true rapist, it's about the love of the game.

Yeah, that's true. It's not about the gender. It's about raping. Ah, interesting. You know? So I think if he's really about that life, he's going to get back into it, boy. Yeah, I want to know your intentions.

How committed are you to this game? You know? Real talk. And if he's not a true rapist, then we gotta let him go okay unfortunately unfortunately for those that do feel aggrieved if it's not a true if he's not a true rapist we might have to let him go it's possible dude it's possible i mean. It's possible. I mean, honestly, what would Saudi Arabia, what would the kingdom of Saudi Arabia do?

That's how I answer a lot of these tough questions. What would the kingdom of Saudi Arabia, what would the great country of Mexico, the great nation of Canada, what would they do

in this situation? Now, Mark, it seems like you're about to play a video that's going to be really interesting. Yeah, so this happened on Walmart.

Basically, this white Karen lady just pulled up, saw these BLM candles, and just lost her shit. My pussy matters is what she said? Yeah, that's what she said. My pussy matters. You make no sense. Your piece is what matters, but her pussy matters. What's happening in this country? Can you explain why this is happening?

She's just talking to the other dykes. That's why she's throwing underhands to attract the softball players. You got a good arm, actually. Yo, why did she go for the underhand? Son. Yeah. Yo, black lives matter my pussy matters both of those things can be true right yeah yeah i don't think one i don't think unless she was

with a black guy and he didn't think that he destroyed her destroyed it that's probably what it is probably what it is could have had strong fingers alex alex i never met her never met her were you out there blasting her dude i her dude did you blast a karen dude i tried to convert her but it didn't work maybe you you fingered her daughter and she felt it that's how strong your fingers are that is absolutely crazy that was so crazy but so accurate but it might be yeah i feel like i've been very reasonable this whole That? I feel like this is the most reasonable podcast we've done in years. We are very reasonable people, and you're right. I should have thought about that.

And I think that what I did was unfair to you. Yeah. I think it was 100% unfair to you. I think you got it. I think that's good. My fellow Habibi right here, bro. Hey, Habibi. Al, with this girl that you were fingering, and you did something to her pussy to make

her feel like her pussy didn't matter, was that the girl that you did the finger skateboarding thing in her pussy? Was that the one? I was ollieing all over. Because I could feel if I was a girl and a guy brought a finger skateboard and then started to use my pussy like a bowl, I would be like, my pussy doesn't matter to this guy.

And then I might, if I was a racist like that woman, take it out on black people. That's his tech dick. Yeah. Yo. Yeah. Tony Cock is just rolling around. Yo.

But shout out to Tony, bro. He broke his femur, by the way. Bro. So sad, man. It'll get well soon, dude. I hit him up and I was like, dude, this fucking journey back is going to be the most epic journey. Like him coming back to land a McTwwist like if he just says there's one

more trick he wants to do yeah and the reason the stakes are so high like at his age breaking your femur your life might not be the same it is a massive injury right it's gonna take so long to heal i think it's like the most dense bone in the human body the femur is the thigh bone right yeah pretty sure yeah yeah so like i'm right yeah okay i just wanted to make sure so uh because this one also is super dense humorous humorous yeah so and uh but and he was like yeah you know it's gonna be tough to come back might not come back come back fully but if he just goes all i want to do is come back and land a mctwist or land a whatever the 900 is probably out of sight but like can every person who's ever put their foot on a skateboard

around the world is going to be rooting for this. All of a sudden, he gets to be a hero again. And we all watch the guys who are smacking their skateboards on the coping of the halfpipe. Do it at the X Games or do it at the Olympics. What trick did he get injured doing? And that's the one yeah you gotta come back and conquer it fire that'd be fine okay we gotta look and see but

that's got to be documented this whole thing like oh that's great okay what do you need this chick that said that uh no two woman-led countries would go to war. Did you see this? I did see this. This is the COO, I believe, of Facebook, which is now called Meta. Yeah. Yeah. And she said no two woman-led countries would go to war. There's actually no statistics to support this at all.

There was actually more war when there was Queens in charge of countries. More aggression between countries when there's actually more war when there was uh queens in charge of countries uh more aggression between countries when there's men but actual war there's really no statistics ever see an episode of housewives yeah yeah real talk motherfucker what about all them karens on your app do you think they're so reasonable all them karen videos on facebook y'all ain't seen no karen videos on facebook yeah my pussy matters my pussy does matter okay this motherfucker over here trying to act like women wouldn't get busy 100 they're gonna get busy 100 i think they're going straight to nukes just offer it yes yeah guys just do that we just almost fight all the time talk a lot of shit don't really do nothing hold me back hey you got something to say? Do something then.

That's what the US and Russia did for 40 straight years. Cold war. That's a cold war. I would fight you, but we got to go to a different location. And then maybe then I'll fight you. But it's raining, so maybe afternoon or something. We got to do this honorably.

That's facts. Maybe women were in charge and then men had to. There was just so much war and carnage that men had to take control and take power. Yeah. Like I'm talking about like thousands of years ago. Maybe there's a time where women actually ranch it. Yeah. And then men had to go, no, no, no, no.

We're all just going to continue dying if we keep this up. Yeah, maybe. I'm just saying. Maybe. Seems pretty reasonable. The logic is sound. It seems pretty reasonable logic is sound seems pretty reasonable dude i don't know if that's supported by any history i don't know about that that might be as historical as this the logic is sound is it i don't know about history but the logic well think about it there used to be that uh amazonian tribe they're gone oh

what happened all the women run tribes are gone because they killed each other out and now there's only one amazon run by jeff and run by jeff yeah oh i was thinking the rainforest and what's happening in the rainforest is dying okay yeah also that it's not holding up uh-huh i think we're on to something and i think for all of our safety we got to make sure that men are in charge that's the ac kicking back on miles don't you worry okay? We gotta stay cool in here. But you gotta look at countries that are led by women now that aren't in any war. Like which? Germany. Germany. Back when

it was run by men, lots of wars. Now there's a woman in charge? Not that many wars. Yeah, but that's because we shut that shit down. We put our foot down and said never again. Right, Dov? Never again. Never again. Never again. Can you name other female leaders yes go i don't want to kamala harris yeah also kamala harris hey she'd be locking everybody up bro she let

she pro war as fuck i mean we not in war we kind of pussy right now bro hey hey i think we're handling this perfectly all right everybody everybody's doing their part yeah yeah we're handling this perfectly, all right? Everybody's doing their part. We're doing our part. Other people out there are doing their part. And we're trying to make life as easy as it can be to live, Al. Oh, Maggie, Margaret Thatcher? She was getting busy to Falklands. She was fucking people up. South Africa, put apartheid in South Africa.

She put it in? Pretty much, I think. Put apartheid in South Africa. And Deeragandi. She put it in? Pretty much, I think. Wow. Pretty much, I think. Pretty much, I think was not the answer I was looking for. I think she was the architect of apartheid, bro. Really?

I think so. Which is way too cool of a name. That's what I was just about to say. That shit is lit heat. The architect of apartheid. I'm just going to say that right now. That shit's almost too good. Son, if she was a

pro boxer that's the champ yeah that's the champ she calls all this like terrorism racism she gets to be an architect the titan of terror the architect of apartheid bruh come on now fire what about indira gandhi who's that yeah she fucked a lot of people up yo okay yeah i don't know something she got assassinated i thought you was calling gandhi a bitch yeah who's this cruella deville looking ass chick right here bro yeah she got assassinated back indian politician central figure of uh indian national congress yeah was she related to gandhi she i they got four last names over there bro i think she was the daughter of someone. Shut up. You know you don't know shit. You know he's done it. Shut the fuck up, bro. She was the daughter of an Indian person.

The daughter of someone named Gandhi. Yeah, no shit. I think Nehru, but you can double check that. And then she got assassinated for what? She called on a raid of, actually, Sikh Gurdwara, the Golden Temple. She called on a raid of there because she thought thereara the golden temple she called on a raid of there because she thought there were some separatists that were hiding out there and it's like a holy place and she's like i don't give a fuck oh yeah run up in there kill whoever you got to kill

and then three of her bodyguards are sick and they're like we're not okay bitch let's see about this and then she got killed and then there was a massive massacre of six in 1984 like it was crazy that's why i have cousins who were born after me like 85 86 and my parents were like don't name them sing change their last name they're like legit like roy's last name wasn't sing because people thought people might think you're saying let's just take this guy out oh wow god damn boy yeah it was wild it's a wild time god damn wild time they were just getting slaughtered i have in-laws who were like fucking running and hiding in alleys like crazy stories crazy but yeah apparently the study

proves it that women wage more war than mended we know that we go home every day this is not lost on us i don't like this study though because it says it ranged the european actions from 1480 to 1913 seems like oh that's like a convenient time to stop measuring the study. Yeah. Right? I love what they do that when they're like, white males are America's greatest terrorists. A study that started in September 12, 2001.

Statistics. I don't know what incel made this but it supports our argument so I think we roll with it well fuck them give me one more story and then we're out of here how do you want to get out of this how do you want to end I want one more story

and I want it now this is just like a light hearted give me a fucking light hearted story a Florida teacher was hospitalized after being attacked by a 5-year-old student. Did you hear about this? Not a five-year-old student. These Cubans lie about their age

so they can play in Little League all the time. Why do you assume they're Cuban? Because it's Florida. It's Florida. They lie about their age so they can play in Little League. If it's northern Florida, it might not be Cuban.

These Cubans be traveling. These Cubans be traveling. Can we see the name of the boy? Swim up the coast. They didn't disclose the name, unfortunately If you're a teacher, you get beat up by a five-year-old You deserve that shit That's embarrassing, dog

Unless it's Wax's son Yeah, Wax's son might be able to fuck up a teacher The kid is two and I'm scared These teachers, yo Complain about everything, bruh Hey, keep going Complain about everything Yo,. Hey, keep going. Complain about everything. I like where this is going.

Let's go. Yo, come on, yo. You get the summers off. Like, you get out of work at 3. 3 o'clock. The syllabus was already made for you. You just got to read that shit off the paper. You teach for a test.

They tell you what to do. Hey, here's the questions. Teach that shit. Teach the fucking question. Suck all the dicks you want. What? If you're a female. If you're a female, you get to suck all the dicks you want. What? If you're a female. If you're a female, you get to suck all the dicks you want.

Or if you're a male. Don't discriminate. Or if you're a male. True. I mean, that's wrong. Nah, nah. That's foul. That's foul.

That's foul. That's fucking reprehensible action. My bad. My bad. Nah, nah. You know that that's foul. Unless it's of age. Suck all the of age cock you want if you're a man, but not under age.

Yeah. Even of age, that's like a... I got to talk yeah even of age that's a you know that's like uh i gotta talk to my man ben salam about that one when he asked what i said what i said is it rape normal for y'all he's like is not what you mean i heard that that's what i heard that's what i heard talking about today he's like wait so like straight dudes gay guys like we're not different he looked around for confirmation from everybody in the room i was setting y'all up

that was a setup oh shit you're being slandered. I know what you were trying to say. You know what I was trying to say, bro. He's trying to say the sex drive is the same. There's no, like, emotional attachment. Yeah. No, there's a woman. Yeah. You want to hear the size?

I was. Yeah. And they fucking don't get shit. Say what you want to say, Miles. You want to hear the size of this kid? He's going to talk shit in them side chairs, you know what I mean? Motherfuckers. Yeah.

Some of the bitch. Special education kid. The five-year-old. Oh, that's different. That's different. That's different. Yo, yo, yo. He's strong.

He's 50 to 60 pounds. He's 50 to 60 pounds. And he's fighting a woman in her late 30s, early 40s who is 5'4 with a slender frame. That's a fair fight. That's an extremely fair fight. That's a fair fight. I would have bet on that. I'd put my money on the little boy for sure.

Where's my bookie code for that one, bro? That would fired we got to get my book odds are in the boy's favor for sure you think so absolutely why 60 pounds that's like a small dog yeah but 60 pounds special needs bro that's like 140 pound regular yeah it's a terrier that's a terrier yeah they're like pit bulls man yeah that's a terrible heads you know i guess her leg or forearm yes it's over yeah yeah okay fair enough we should start a go for me for her okay and then and for the kid which one should we start it for both now her her hospital but also get the kids long-term help no i think training yeah if we want to have a champion yeah we need that at five if this is what you could do at five, you can take on a 40-year-old woman at five? That's fine.

I mean, I can't believe that 40-year-old woman didn't do something. Are there any retards in the UFC? Oh, my God. Bro. I mean, but... Bro. Some of them might be listening right now. What's wrong with you?

Are there any? Can we let him finish, guys, before you jump to your conclusions? Alex, continue. Nah, I can't finish that one. Nah, that'll fuck me up. Continue the question. I'm good, I'm good. Continue the question.

Al, please. Nah, that'll fuck me up. Answer the fucking question that you asked. No, I answered my own question. I mean, there was this one. Oh, God, Mark. Guys, this has been an episode of Flagger 2. You remember this one.

You remember it not. It's been an episode of Flagger 2. remember this it's been an episode of flagrant 2 we love you we appreciate you we'll see you at patreon patreon.com slash flagrant 2 peace