Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz's Butthole Surgery

Episode Date: May 28, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss the Raptors sweeping the Warriors, Klay Thompson being the best number 2, White people not washing their legs, Black AirBnb's, Kawhi not being a marketable player, Andrew getting butthole surgery, and much more. INDULGE!!!

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We are here and the time is 10.06. How's it feel motherfucker? Not good, not good. It's six minutes late, we have a nice little soundtrack for him. JoJo is bumping on the cell phone. I think we should play it again so he can hear it come through. I heard it. I heard it.

Akash. You got him in a penalty box. I put myself in the penalty box. Oh, you dropped the seat? Yeah, six minutes late, six minutes in the box. Let me get some. Pass me those tissues right there. How did you get enjoying this so much?

You know what I mean? Fucking A. That got you some of your happiness. get enjoying this so much? You know what I mean? Fucking A God took some of your happiness You enjoying this Too much No So Akash Akash was late

I just want to clarify that to everybody Akash is late I was actually the first one here Akash is late You know what? Is that true? This is true You got here before them?

No After I'm talking about between you guys Oh okay But I was here Yeah he was here before That's fair That's fair That's fair

Damn, Akash It feels good It feels good to be in this chair before you motherfuckers Well, guys, we're here How are you guys doing? I'm chilling, dog Feeling good Feels good, I feel refreshed

You feeling fresh? You feeling fun? Yeah, Vegas is fun We don't have to harp on your lateness much more, Akash I'll sit in the box No, you can sit in the box You're going to take your penalty. See how I'm not judgy? I'm just like,

hey, man. You're incredibly judgy. I'm going to be honest with you. You're incredibly smart. All I'm saying is things happen, bro. I get it. Sometimes, you know,

especially if there's no work. You wouldn't be so judgy if this feeling wasn't so new for you. I'll be honest. I was shocked when I walked in here and you were sitting down already.

It's not like Memorial Day and nobody's working downtown. It's too clear and nobody sitting down already It's not like Memorial Day Nobody's working downtown It's too clear Nobody's outside It's okay I understand That's false It's a street fair

He did notify us To the street fair Yeah no And I immediately said fuck Because I was on my way out Nah things happen though Cas was so excited When I walked in the room bro

He looked like a puppy I walk in the room He's. He looked like a puppy. I walk in the room, he's just looking at me like, say it, say it. This is the first time I'm on time and you're actually acknowledging it. Like, I'm before you guys. Oh, shut the fuck up. Shut the absolute fuck up. You want to fucking acknowledge it for being on time? Hold on one second.

One second. We're not going to make this about your tardiness, okay, or on-timeness. What is it? Punctuality. Punctuality. Exactly. This is about Akash's lateness. Yeah.

Because you're still very late as well. Matter of fact, I think the lesson we learned here is I'm the only one that cares. Oh, my gosh. I'm the only one that's on time. I think I'm still in the lead. I don't know. I think it's even now. There's nothing that even.

Akash had how many one or two he had the one that he boycotted his way out of no no no no don't turn on me now don't turn on me now all right so officially andrew's on three okay okay kaz is on don't even count it go on please let me know my number but uh akash, myself, and Alex are at two. And Kaz, you are at two, four, six, eight, nine. Oh, still at nine. You haven't been late since we shamed you. Not double digits.

Got them. It works. As long as I stay off of double digits, I'm good. Guys, so big news. I'm going to have to get asshole surgery. Wait, what? For the hemorrhoids? Son I have

A fucking blueberry hanging out of my asshole I look like a cotton tailed bunny rabbit Walking around Dude you don't even realize how awful This weekend has been We were in Columbus Ohio I almost went to the hospital. Oh, my God.

You didn't even get to enjoy the chicken tenders. No, I did enjoy the fuck out of them. That's why I was in the hospital. That's probably why you got the assholes. Son, it was. You enjoyed them too much. Dude, and it is awful, even right now. Okay, so there's a girl I'm talking to, right?

Her father happens to be a doctor. This is how awful this is. Buddy, welcome to the fucking life of an Indian dog. You don't even need no insurance for a roar. That's huge. Oh, it's life changing. Now, it is life changing, right? Unless you have a hemorrhoid hanging out of your asshole.

But she knows, so whatever. First of all, no, she doesn't. Okay. I had to break this information to her that I have a hemorrhoid, right? And then I've never spoken to her father at all. We've had zero communication whatsoever. None at all. The first that her father finds out about me is when she asks him for prescription hemorrhoid medication.

Right? No, no, no. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Yeah, I was about to say, there's no way you're sitting comfortably right now. That's why I've been on the pillows. Okay, so prescription hemorrhoid medication. How do hemorrhoids even happen?

We're going to get into all that because I've done a lot of research. I want to know. First of all, do you know how awful this weekend in Columbus has been? Every time we would go and sit at a restaurant, I would have to ask the restaurant if they had a pillow. I thought you were going to have to ask for permission of your black friend to sit at the restaurant. I mean, obviously. We did some wild shit, bro. We ate at this German restaurant on Saturday on Memorial Day weekend.

There's fucking German flags flying all around like the troops wanted. Anyway, so I'm asking for fucking because I cannot sit on wood when you sit on wood it just separates your butt cheeks and then your asshole

starts to fall out of your asshole even more than it was already doing this is what a hemorrhoid did it's just a part of your asshole has fallen out of your asshole it's like a vein

how do you happen I think it's from like jamming too many things in there no it's the opposite it's pushing too many things out Yeah Jamming things in is I do that

This is a lot Now y'all want to know the real shit? This is a lot There's a thing in my asshole right now What do you mean like a pen cap? No I mean real talk It's the exact same size as a pen cap

It's a suppository Okay It looks like a pen cap And I have to slowly push it up my asshole and your asshole does a weird thing once you get like a certain amount in it accepts it like an alien spaceship you know like remember remember remember an independence day when like once you got into the zone the like the mothership was like okay you may come in now right so

so literally for the last few days I've been taking the the the bunny tail and pushing it

okay so here's my butthole right I have a picture maybe we'll show it on the Patreon I do not want to show you guys this right now wait you took a picture of your butthole

say what what you took a picture of your butthole yeah cause I I needed to see it because if it looks like really bad they just gotta chop it off, and it's a whole thing, right? This is taking analysis by assholes entirely.

It's analysis of assholes. Analysis of assholes. Want to go to commentary on Vsports? No. So here's your asshole, right? Okay. Here's the hemorrhoid. It's just sticking out of my asshole.

Okay? So when you poop, does it split? Fam, it's like... Do you want to know what it really is like? It's like a teapot. It's like Moses splitting? No, no. You know what it looks like for real?

This is what it looks like for real. You know those trains that chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-choo-choo? You know how they have that chimney part and the top just goes choo's a teapot yeah the teapot shit right so that's my ass steam building before shit no but it like it like bends it it's like curvy like you know when you like you know when you make like um you know when like girls curl their hair yeah they like like anyway uh we don't have to get into it Is it like Moses Like standing in the river And just No it's not parting it

It's not parting the poop No it is not It just curves the poop No yeah it's more curved It's awful But that being said Does it make wiping harder Yeah a little bit

And easier Cause it just doesn't go everywhere It kind of just closes it off I almost don't need a wipe You still need a wipe I do but it's just like... Maybe you keep the hemorrhoid. You know what I mean?

Maybe there's an advantage to having the hemorrhoid. Listen, man. Hemorrhoids have gotten a bad rap. You gotta look at the bright side of this shit. Sons, this was... Bright side of the shit. That's funny. Awful.

Bright side of the shit. It's awful, bro. It's like... I couldn't do anything. What? Alex, say it. When you sat on... Stereophone. Oh, bro. It's like, I couldn't do anything. What? Alex, say it. When you sat on Sterifone container. They didn't have a pillow at the restaurant.

So he got Sterifone containers, like to-go containers. And he sat like a cookout plate like a to-go plate. The noise that it made, it was just like crunch. I got two, one for each cheek.

How do you perform like that? Everything is fine? No. By the end of the set, it starts to really kind of expose itself. So what I do is I push it back in. I push my asshole back up in my asshole. There's that blueberry thing. I push it back in.

When it's in, it feels good. Put the blueberry back in the parfait so i have to periodically put it back in so what i would do is right before i go on stage literally minutes before i would go on stage i push it back in now the thing i learned from having hemorrhoids, Akash, is all the different times in your life you clench your butt cheeks. I thought you clench your butt cheeks to take poops, to take farts. And to hold poops. Or to hold poops, hold farts, right?

Shut the back door. Yeah. Dude, bending down to pick things up. It all hurts. Laughing. It not even hurts. It all hurts. Laughing. It not even hurts. It's just like, I'll just say a funny joke,

and then, and then, boop, I just feel, I just feel it pop right out my ass. A little blueberry. A little bobbling blueberry. I really got a bobble booty.

I literally just got a little bobble booty. So wait, so, so, so, So what's the solution? This guy's been laughing at me. He loves it. This is the funniest thing. He loves it. Let me tell y'all something.

Actual asshole content. This is on brand, man. It's on brand. Hey, Flavor Media, let's get a hemorrhoid cream spot. Real talk. It's Pre brand Hey Flavor Media Let's get a hemorrhoid Creams box Real talk It's Preparation H Listen And I've been talking

And I've been calling it prep Right This is where This is where it gets real bad I was like I'm on that prep Right Do you know what prep is

It's a fucking drug For AIDS It's the AIDS prevention drug So I'm walking around Like yeah I gotta take that prep again Bro It has been

you know this is the most elaborate story for somebody trying to come out the closet let me tell you that blueberry is out the closet son if you like ash play man just let us know it's fine man i get it bro so do they do they cut off the blueberry or do they shove it back in no No, they cut it off. They cauterize it or they rubber band it. So it's like really prehistoric the way the surgery is done. I was like, how do you get rid of it? They just kind of twist it off. They twist it right off, dog. When is the surgery scheduled?

Like a piece of challah bread. Well, the dog is probably Jewish, so it's going to be no problem for him. We're in Columbus right We're going We're going to get some food right And And there's this Uber driver Cutting off tips huh

Oh hell yeah That's their thing A little bris Circumcise my butthole please So we're going down And I think I'm gonna fuck You know how I like fuck with Uber drivers And shit like that

So like there's this African dude right And I'm trying to fuck with Uber drivers and shit like that. So there's this African dude, right? And I'm trying to fuck with him. I was like, hey, man, what do you think about hemorrhoids, right? He takes a bit. He goes, in my country, 50% of people have hemorrhoids. God damn. I'm like, what? Alex.

Alex. Son. Alex. How long did he talk about hemorrhoids? Son. At least 20 minutes. Straight. Straight. I didn't interrupt him nothing

20 minute Uber ride is an eternity by the way bam 20 minutes on hemorrhoids the dude has been there he was talking about like what you do

at one point this was the illest shit this was like the most like third world reaction to it I was like so what do you do how do you remedy

and he starts with like there is a leaf and we take the leaf and we make the drink and I was like, so what do you do? How do you remedy? And he starts with like, there is a leaf and we take the leaf and we make the drink and then I was like, what if that doesn't work? He goes, ignore.

Oh God. Right? Did he say? I block it out. No, I'm scared. I'm like, am I going to get hemorrhoids

today? I heard sitting on the toilet too long and I'd be chilling on a fucking toilet, bitch. You'd be chilling on a fucking toilet, bitch. You'd be chilling on the toilet, dog. That's my office.

I'm scared now. I still have to get my best thinking done. So it's a sacrifice. I got to get a bidet, man. Life changing. Oh yeah, Alex got a bidet. He's all about it. Still don't sit on it too long,

but a bidet, bro. No, I'd be, I'm about the bidet. I'm about the bidet for like an hour, son. I'd be looking at like $200 joints. I'm telling you, heated seats. I look at this shit like it's a new car I'm ready to get it's life changing so you gotta get that i'll be like

the speed bag oh so what like there's like different speeds to the booty my blueberry it's gonna beat it like a speed bag, bro. I really gotta click. Like, I bet gay dudes would love me because now I got a real dude pussy. Like, an ass pussy. I got a real ass pussy. You got that Marisa. I got that Marisa. I really do got an ass pussy, bro.

Y'all wanna see a picture of it? It's wild. No. I wanna see it. Everybody else is gonna look at it. Yeah, definitely. Can we put this on our Patreon? Maybe. All right, maybe we at it. I want to see it. Everybody else is going to look at it. Yeah, definitely. Can we put this on our Patreon? Maybe.

All right. Maybe we put it. It's so repulsive when I show you this. Bro, when I look at it, I... Dude, I took it because I was going to show it to my shorty, right? And I was like... Because I was going to give it to my shorty to give to her dad to see if I got the bad one, right? And I took four pictures of it.

Hey, real talk, man. This might have been one two three four five no i know you got insurance too is the thing so you really just being stingy yeah i'm late no it's not stingy i'm lazy i'll pay for it but i paid 384 for the fucking uh the what's it called cream no the suppositories right that he had to put under her name so we went to cvs and she had to get a hemorrhoid suppository her name because you can't prescribe anything to someone who's not your client. Yeah, whatever.

Did you say I'm your patient? That's weird. Anyway, go ahead. Whatever. It's just funnier to go up there where she's getting hemorrhoid cream and I just sit in the back like, yeah, that's what I do. That's my work. But okay.

Oh, dude. It is. Oh, come on, man. I'm already on a throw up. I haven't even looked at it yet. All right. Ready? Cam, you can look at it first. Sorry, I put it on man. I'm already, I'm already want to throw up. I haven't even looked at it yet. All right. Ready? You can look at it first.

Sorry, I put it on camera. No, no, no, no. I got a strong stomach. I'll look at it. All right. Ready? Oh, my God. I'll take it back.

I'll take it back. I'll take it back. I'll take it back. I'll take it back. Here I go. Oh, shit. It's that bad. This is so funny.

Wait, what is it? What is it? I didn't know it was me. Oh, my God. Yo, son. Wait, what is it? I didn't know it was fucking a boy or something. Yo, son. Yo, you really caught it. How do you stare at it? I caught a glimpse already. How do you ask that Harry? I don't see an Audi belly button.

Yo, son. It looks like an Audi belly button. Yo, but so here's the crazy thing. You see it, right? Real quick, one more time. Look, real quick, one more time. Look. Real quick, one more time. Look. Y'all seeing it?

All right. So look. So look. Ready? Ready? So this is a crazy thing. You know what it looks like, right? Yeah.

Y'all know what it looks like, right? My asshole's below it. Wait, what? Yeah. Wait, what do you mean? It's hiding my asshole. That's what I'm saying. You can't see my asshole.

Wait, so is that it tucked in Or tucked out No that's all out That's the hair down That's like Legends of the Hidden Temple Push the rock over To get through Can I tell you Can I tell you Can I tell you Can I tell you

You have a visual That is perfect Oh my god Can I tell you What this is karma for And I told Alex This is in Columbus But this is

What this is karma for We were taping Brilliant Idiots The other day I'm at Starbucks right And this guy Is working at Starbucks right He's going to give

This chick an order right And he goes He goes He goes Shannon Right And I go He's going to give this chick an order, right? Yeah. And he goes, and he goes, he goes, he goes, sh-sh-sh-sh-shannon, right? And I go, eh, eh, eh. Right?

And all of a sudden, he just looks at me and goes, w-w-w-w-what? What was that? Oh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

I'm looking like, oh, I thought we were partying, man. I thought it was, I thought we were at the club, son. I didn't know that she was struggling. And why did it make you the like, oh, I thought we were partying, man. I thought we were at the club, son. I didn't know that you was struggling. And why did they make you the name, dude? If you're out here like, sheen it. That's that responsibility of the next person.

You got to be on the getting the sriracha out of the back. You got to be on the getting the egg white. You can't be the guy screaming the names out. You got to be the egg white guy. You can't be the friend. That's white. You can't be the guy screaming the names out. You got to be the egg white guy. You can't be the friend. That's just bad management. That's just bad coaching. Like, you're putting somebody in the wrong.

I thought it was a party, bro. I'm ready to do brilliance. My man says, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. I didn't miss a beat. Yo, don't scream too hard, bro. She's going to fall right out. So when is the surgery? I have to book

I have to book the surgery But the Basically The situation was What kind of doctor you go to? Proctologist Proctologist So we were gonna go to the hospital

And get the surgery In Ohio Son it was bad And it was We were gonna film it And put it in Drop it in Yeah

We should have called that episode film it and put it in, drop it in. Yeah. We should have called that episode Drop It Out. Drop It Out. So, yeah, I got to. And it's not, like, super invasive. They literally just wrap a rubber band around it. And then, yeah. Pop it like a cherry tomato. Yeah.

Literally like how they used to take off legs in the Civil War. Real talk. Oh, gosh, this is bad. Like a cherry tomato? Yeah. Literally like how they used to take off legs in the Civil War. Unreal. Sorry. Real talk. Oh, gosh. This is bad, bro. Oh, gosh. And I've lived together.

Like, I took a lot of poops effortlessly. Yeah. That's his thing. It's like his point of pride. It was. But now it's changed. I don't even know who I am anymore. Yo, real talk, y'all.

I don't even know who I am anymore. Oh, gosh. I don't even know who I am anymore yes sir so are there certain foods you just can't eat now because you have that i haven't been avoiding any um i ate a a burger called the therminator while i was in columbus so i haven't been really restricting my diet in any way, shape, or form. What's the Thurmanator? Pretty much everything. Sounds like some hot shit.

Son, it was a lot. Is the name after Thurman Thomas? I was thinking of a thermometer. No, it's the Thurman's Cafe is the name of the spot.

Oh, okay. Anyway, we don't have to. Speaking of buttholes getting tight, the finals are set. Oh, boy. Speaking of buttholes getting tight, you have an Ionis. An Ionis. Oh, we don't have to. Speaking of buttholes getting tight, the finals are set. Oh, boy. Speaking of buttholes getting tight, what happened to Giannis?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Turned the water off, huh? You called it. That faucet was turned the fuck off on Giannis, bro. That wasn't how Andrew said he would handle Giannis. He just put Kawhi on him. It's amazing what he can do, man.

Yeah. It's amazing what he can do. He's the best two-way player I've probably seen since Pippen. You know, just somebody who can get a bucket and just as easily lock down and score. And he. He might be the best since Jordan. Jordan was a two-way player, bro. He's Jordan.

I mean, listen. Fucking who said it? Was it Kendrick Perkins? Mm-hmm. He was the first guy to go on national TV. He reminds me of 96, 97 Jordan. He's just mad methodical and deliberate. You know what he's going to do, and you can't stop it.

Then he locks down your best player. He's on a Jordan-like run right now. Just because he wears new balances and has straight back braids, it's not the most marketable thing. But watching the game, that's what you get. You can market greatness. That's what he looks like. They'll figure it out.

I have a question for you guys. Raptors, Warriors, how do you match up defensively? Am I crazy for thinking they match up better if KD's in the game? Go. Well, let's assume KD's not for the first two. And then give us the KD matchup. So I would, I think you got to say put Kawhi on Klay because staff is too quick for him probably. That's you.

Go. But Klay also, Kawhi doesn't really guard the run around guy. He guards the guy with the ball. Great point. Do you want to have Kawhi wasting his energy chasing Klay around? I don't. But go on. And I want to hear your lineup. Go on. So I don't know. Maybe you can try Kawhi on Steph and see how it goes

but I want to say they tried it a couple years ago in San Antonio and it didn't work the best. But other than that I don't necessarily know. You might even just like at that point throw bodies at Klay try to have Lowry hold Steph as much as he can, and then Kawhi save your energy for offense.

Okay. Without him, without KD, I don't know where to put Kawhi as easily. It's interesting, isn't it? Yeah. What about you, Kaz? What do you think? I think it's a little different. I think the Raptors have been fortunate to go through their entire playoffs

without having to play it against an elite backcourt. They ran through the Magic, ran through the Sixers, turned out an elite backcourt. And the Bucs, right? You don't want to waste energy on Kawhi fucking chasing Steph or Klay around. So I just think you put Siakam and pray for the best with Kyle Lowry and maybe Fred Van Fleet. Fred Van Fleet on Steph and pray for the best. And you hope that they have a plan to try and stop in Kawhi and just go for it. Because I don't think, you don't want to waste that energy unless you're down 2-0.

That's what just happened with the Bucs. Unless you're down 2-0, you have no other choice but you got to stop this guy then you probably put kawaii on steph other than that i don't know okay i don't like the way they match up with the words what about um what about this this is a little bit a little bit counterintuitive but they kind of did with the bucks a bit okay what about siakam on steph i think length bothers steph that's interesting yeah and siakam is athletic steph's gonna get by him but he's also gonna get by lowry yeah so at least when he does those step backs you have legit reach yeah right so you go siakam on Steph. You have Clay, unfortunately. Sorry.

Lowry. No, Lowry. This is where it gets interesting. You go Kawhi on Clay. And I might switch that in a second. Mark on Draymond. That's a wash. I go Kyle on Iggy.

Because Iggy don't want to shoot. And Kyle's actually sturdy. Kyle could hold up. He could hold up Iggy because Iggy don't want to shoot and Kyle's actually sturdy. Kyle could hold up. He could hold up Iggy. The issue is this. Klay's going to shoot right over Kyle. You're not even going to see Kyle. Kyle's going to be right there and the shot is already, I mean, you know, Klay's

automatic. You need to have some height to disrupt. I think we're missing one more. The reason why I like that is because we got- Wait, what other player am I thinking? Oh, no. Bogut is in there? Who else is in there?

Not Bogut. Marc Gasol. No. They got the young boy. Kevon Looney. Looney, I think, starts. Kevon Looney, yeah. He starts with them?

I believe so. He started the last couple games. Okay. So then you could do- If you're starting Danny Green, Danny Green's been sucking it up, so I wouldn't even put him on there. But there's also a world where I put Kawhi on Steph because I just think he alters the game.

He's got one length too, but I think he just alters the game in so many ways that you want to have him attacking your best defensive player. Do you think Steph is a harder guard than Giannis is? Yeah. For Kawhi, yeah. For anybody. Okay. Well, yeah, if you're like a little guy guarding Giannis,

it's impossible. But did you guys see what Kawhi would do to Giannis? This is what I thought was so fascinating about it, is he would stand him up at 18 feet. Right? Like most guys, Kawhi will get some – Kawhi gets off – like for Jason Tatum, the reason why Jason Tatum just got housed, right, is let's say here's Tatum and here's Kawhi, right?

Kawhi gets the downhill steam going, and Jason Tatum knows he's not strong enough to stop the momentum, right? So he chooses a direction, right? He goes, okay, I'm going to assume he's going to do a little Hesley or something like that And then go by, so I'm going to overplay right And then Giannis goes, okay Euro, layup And Kawhi would just go

Give me what you got, I'm standing you up Wherever the fuck you are Serge, a little bit too Serge could meet that motherfucker at the rim That's the guy we were forgetting about, Serge Ibaka But he's coming off the bench. But he's coming off. He's coming off the bench. I think he's coming off the bench.

So it's like, now you don't have that freak athletic situation. You have freak shot maker. Yeah. Yeah. And. They were giving Giannis a stop and pop 18 and 15 footer all series. And he couldn't. He couldn't take it. Consistently hit it.

He would never take it. Anytime he would drive in, he would try and Euro and get stood up, like you said. Yep. He would either try to. Anytime he would drive in, he would try and Euro and get stood up, like you said. Yep. He would either try to pass off and hit a shooter, and when there was no shooter there, he would throw up some bullshit. Right. And they threw the doubles at him, too. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark would come over and double because he didn't have to worry. Mm-hmm. But I'm just so excited, man, because as long as KD's not in, I think Raptors are winning this. You think so? I think Raptors in six. Get out of here.

They got home court advantage, bro. Think about it. Also, Raptors got home court advantage, right? Right. Which, obviously, you're playing the Warriors. Don't get me wrong. But Raptors have an amazing fan base. You started off at home.

Especially, they got a couple guys that need a little boost. Kyle needs a boost. You know? And go. I thought when they got Kawhii i picked them to go to the finals and i thought they could take out golden state and i've always been saying golden state's not gonna win it yeah i'm gonna say i have to stick with that but i am nervous about lowry in the finals yeah and i also worry that golden state is could be like all right we're

going to come in in game one yeah we're gonna stomp on your fucking We're going to take you a little home court and let's see what happens. And that could, with someone, I worry about the fragility of the Raptors. Even though Lowry's had a good playoffs, I just worry still. So the question is, who are the fragile players on the, I think this Fred Van Fleet is a... He's been lights out since he had a kid, though. Not only lights out. Once you have a kid

I feel like you got at least a month of firing Yeah yeah of course It's like I gotta do it And also you realize There's things way bigger than this Why am I worried so much about this You're not nervous anymore The kid didn't sleep last night

Right And also everybody's like I can't sleep I'm so nervous He's like no no There's a crying baby Like that's why I can't sleep You guys have champagne problems right Yeah

So it's like So I don't think you worry about Fred Obviously Kawhi Is locked the fuck in. I think, sir, I think like the African players, to be honest,

like this is just fun compared to what they've experienced. I really mean that. Like they've experienced real life. You know what I mean? Like,

like yes, Lowry's from North Philly and he's probably seen some like little, you know, violent stuff or whatever like this, but he's never seen-

Child soldiers. Yeah. The Congo? You're coming from the Congo? Right. So it's like, this is fun. Yeah. It's a game.

It's a game. At the end of the day, it's truly a game, right? And then Marc Gasol, I don't know. The Euros, it's like they're not going to go wild and give you 40. But I also don't see them stinking it up. They're like socialists. They're going to be middle of the road, right? I could see.

I still got the Warriors taking this. But I could see the Raptors being a type of team that could slow down the Warriors enough to make it go 6 or 7. And once it goes 6 or 7, it's anybody's game. It's anybody's game over there. They definitely have a shot, and I'm going to stick with the Raptors. But here's what I would say why I think it might be easier if KD's in the game. Go. Because then you put Kawhi on KD.

Yes. That's a matchup that Kawhi is much better suited for. Right. But the offense still runs through KD. Right. And when you got your best defender, who's a good matchup for the guy the offense runs through, I almost think, and KD doesn't know how to operate without,

when he's not getting the ball, KD's not Steph. He has to move without the ball. He's not swallowing his ego. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not like, okay, I'll just help any way I can. He's not that guy. That's a really good point.

So I almost think it's- You want KD to come back. I almost want KD to come back as quickly as possible. Wow, that's right, because Steph, you got to run around and chase him. If he Wow, that's right because Steph, you've got to run around and chase him. If he's not killing you off the ball, he's going to run around screens. There's so many different ways he can hurt you. KD is not going to run down to

the baseline, run around four screens, come around pick and pop. He's like, give me the ball, the fucking block, I'll get mine. You know what's going to happen? I'm going to make my bold prediction right now. Go. Draymond Green's going to be the finals MVP. He's going to be the finals MVP. He's going to be the finals MVP. So if they win.

If they win. It's Iggy or Draymond that makes this game. Yeah. Because, and again, I don't think they'll keep Kyle on. Iggy? I don't think they'll keep, no, sorry. I don't think they'll keep Kyle on Steph. Okay.

Yeah, no. Probably for the best. And for the best for Kyle, right? Like, you know he's a little sensitive. He's a solid defender. Like, he's not a mad dog. And he's a tough guy. He's a tough guy, but what you want from Kyle is uber confidence,

right? Yeah. I want you to feel as confident as you possibly can so that you can play this position, which is really important on the team. You're a disruptor, you're a pest, and you get guys involved, and then every once in a while you hit a back-breaking three or finish at the rim. Is he going to be able to do that when Steph is lighting him up for 30 a game? No, right?

But it's the thing. It's also the finals. That has still been remained. As much as Steph has been killing throughout the playoffs, the only knock everybody's had on Steph is like, has he? No, last year finals he played great. He played well. Excellent.

He could have had MVP. If he got MVP last year, nobody has a problem with him. Exactly. He played excellent. But I'm saying with this, there's a little bit more pressure. Right. With no KD, no boogie. You know, you got Kawhi Leonard who has been like the Warriors killer.

Right. Even in San Antonio and even in Toronto. But once you beat Braun, you're not worried about Kawhi. You're not worried. I don't think you. But Kawhi beat Braun too. No, no. I think you should be.

But in terms of like beating down a boogeyman. Yeah. I don't think you Now I think you should be But Kawhi be brown too No no I think you should be But In terms of like Beating down a boogeyman Yeah He's done it before right Kawhi's a different type of boogeyman though He's a different type of boogeyman He is a guy

He's the boogeyman that nobody knows is the boogeyman He's No He's the guy who like When LeBron gets it going Yeah Like it's palpable You feel it

Like he's a fucking He's a passionate dude Yeah When Kawhron gets it going, it's palpable. You feel it. He's a passionate dude. When Kawhi gets it going, you don't even fucking know. He's just a fucking Terminator robot with no emotion. He doesn't know when he's up, when he's down. He doesn't give a fuck. He's going to get his. And he's going to lock down your best player. These are things that will happen.

If they make it to six, even if they lose, there's no way Kawhi leaves, right? I mean, if they get swept, he might leave. I think he stays no matter what. Even if they get swept. Even if they get swept. Wow. I think he stays no matter what. I think getting swept, definitely you have to engage in some talks.

But if it's competitive and you know KD's leaving and you know that Warriors team is in some way being blown up, you don't want that again? Well, if they and you know KD's leaving and you know that Warriors team is in some way being blown up, you don't want that again? Well, if they sweep you without KD. Exactly, yeah. So if they sweep you without KD, I think there's a better reason for him to leave. But if they get a game or two, right, and it's close, maybe they lose a couple close ones. I think it's like, now we got this. Maybe we get a nice little pickup.

Clearly the Raptors organization can get a lot of juice out of the fruit. You get a guy like Siakam that nobody knew was going to end up being a contributing player. They develop players, man. Yeah. Shout out to the GM, man. Every roster move that they've made in the past seven months have been great moves.

Under the radar, very good GM. Extremely good GM. And on top of that with him, you know, I think it's like a Paul George situation all over again.

They rolled the dice on the guy with the one year on his contract. They're like, hey, this is better than the Paul George situation

because he went to the finals. So now it's like... Because he's better than Paul George. That's why... I just feel this is a risk. But to me,

when they got Kawhi, it's a risk you have to take. And then picking them to make it to the finals, I'm going to take credit because I'm me. But it's not like some bold prediction. You had DeMar DeRozan. He's good. He got you to the conference finals. But now you have a fucking dominant defensive player and a really good offensive player.

I'll say he's a dominant offensive player. Now he's a dominant offensive player. I think we had with DeRozan an overrated player, and now we have with Kawhi an underrated player. And sometimes those ratings are what equate to a really interesting trade. Like when you know the value of another player and you know no one else values it, it's real estate. It was a perfect storm because he was coming off an injury.

He sat down the whole spurs. Furious in an organization. It was people the whole spurs. Furious in organization. There was people in the media chirping about Kawhi Leonard, about being a fucking distraction. All fucking guys, right? So his value was at an all-time low, and they still got an all-star player out of it. And now everybody's looking at him like,

yeah, why didn't we chirp at Kawhi Leonard? Well, duh, he's showing you why. So here's the question I think we need to start asking ourselves, which is who are the top three players in the NBA right now? Right now? And is Kawhi in that? Yeah, you have to. Let's have the conversation.

Is Kawhi the best player in the NBA? You have to give him number one right now. Him or Steph right now, at this moment. Right this very second, yes. He's the best player in the NBA. Right this very second. Let's really talk about it. There's nothing on the basketball court that he cannot do. Maybe he's not an elite passer.

Not a bad passer, but not elite court vision like LeBron. But he's a better defender. He's a better score in terms of moves. LeBron doesn't have many moves. He has a nice little kind of like step to the side mid-range. Kawhi has a fucking in and out between the legs dribble that just shifts the entire defense. Kind of like James Harden does, but without the traveling. And less dribbles. And less dribbles.

He does what James does in a fraction of the dribbles. That's it. And you can't stop him because he's so fucking strong and his hands are so big you're not going to even try and swipe at it. There's so little grace to his offensive game that you don't realize how good he is. That's a great way of putting it. Yeah, it is. There is an effortlessness and an economy.

Yes, economy is the perfect word. It's like a joke that has no fat, right? Exactly. If you ever watch an elite basketball or any basketball player practice by himself in a gym with cones and chairs and dribbles and all that shit, that's exactly how he plays with defenders. When the game is on. Interesting. Yeah, he'll get his fade.

He gets the shots that he wants. You know what I'm saying? He'll get his little elbow jumper. If he's going between the legs, if you shift, he'll hit a three in your face. If you come up, he'll go past you. He takes exactly what you give him. So Kawhi's top three, we're saying.

I think it's undisputable. Maybe top two, we say. Yeah. So what does the NBA do, right, when your top two player, potentially your number one player, is not the most marketable? What do you do as – you guys are Adam Silver, right? What is that strategy do you lean into his lack of marketability and like call him an assassin like a stone cold

ice cold a sat like lean into the lack of emotion or are you going to try to make this person someone who he's not so he can carry the league i think it's too late it's too late for that it's too late to try to make him anything that he is. He wears New Balances. Right. He has fucking Times New Roman behind it on the font. He's the most basic motherfucker we've ever had that has been this good in the NBA. And I think you lean into the fact that he's just a guy. He's New Roman. That's his nickname. He's New Roman.

That's his nickname. You lean into the fact that he's just a dude. He is the Times New Roman He is the Times New Roman He's Times New Roman And shit is regular to look at But you need it Yeah

And honestly It's the dominant font Yes Fact It's the dominant font He is the Times New Roman Of the NBA Yeah

Like You know with him It's kind of like How we had it with stuff A few years ago Before he got like Almost annoyingly confident Right

When everyone just thinks He's arrogant At the same time Like he's arrogant at the same time like he's a low maintenance superstar yeah he's got he's got an ego you assume every guy that good has some sort of ego but you'll never see it yeah you'll never show it yeah and on top of that you know it's good because you have the balance of guys like lebron of guys like yeah you have you have enough stars and you can almost market him as like the anti-ego guy. Like he just, the trade demand is where it gets a little fucked up. And I would still love to know the real reason.

Why? The actual reason he wanted to have fans on you. That makes me respect Kawhi more. Because you know some shit must have went down for him. I feel like he's right. No, no. 100% right. And, okay.

And I want to get back to, I actually want to get back to that, but there's one thing I want to say just about the low, what is it called? Low maintenance. Low maintenance superstar. You know who's going to love Kawhi Leonard? Middle America. Yep.

Middle America is going to go, he doesn't do all the shoulder shit. He just goes there. He wins just like they do. They go to their job, and they do their job. And I think that if Adam Silver is smart, there's a way to wrap that work ethic. He's work ethic. He is go there and grind.

It doesn't have to be. That's a great point. That's a fucking great point. And you have all these dudes that are tired of the flashy, glitzy, like on my Instagram doing all this stuff. The semi-racist. I didn't want to say it, but race white people don't love it. It's going to be the first person with cornrows

that they've accepted in their whole life. He's the guy who just shuts up and dribbles. It's an effective way to keep your head out of it. He shuts up and dribbles better than anybody. And he might win an NBA title for it. Oh my God. So then he has to be careful, right? They have to be careful that they don't throw him under the bus Right

Right Or to the back of it But But But there is something Beautiful about it Because you're gonna have a lot of like Basketball

Maybe basketball purists Yeah Youth basketball coaches If I'm a youth basketball coach Or AAU or high school I'm like Dads Watch this fucking guy

Dads are gonna fuck Granddad's dads Grandfathers This is how the game is played This is You don't need to celebrate AAU or high school, I'm like, watch this fucking guy. Dads are going to fuck granddad's dads. This is how the game is played. You don't need to celebrate every time you score. I'll tell you this. When I was growing up playing high school ball, there was all these recruiting sites, like Rivals and highschoolhoops.net and all this type of shit.

And the top of the guys, if you were a 6'10", whatever, they'd have your NBA comparison. So everybody was here. Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett. Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett. Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, if you were 6'10 and up. Because that was basically just saying you're a big guy who does more than just score, right?

Kawhi Leonard is going to be that guy for a bunch of youth players because he is the, I forgot what they called him on ESPN, they called him the little fundamental. Tim Duncan was the big fundamental, he's the little fundamental. How do you have less personality than Tim Duncan? Tim came from the same fucking franchise and coaching well that's something they look for at the spurs they don't want they want a guy who's able to laugh at himself who puts the team above himself like there you go they have like personality criteria they look for when they draft players. Thank God he got

the fuck out of there. Like everybody said that his uncle was the worst thing in his camp. So he has this uncle I think who's from like Newark.

And they were like you got to get out of here. He demands a trade all this. And they're like why the fuck are you listening to this guy?

He might be the smartest guy in the room. He really might be the smartest guy in the room and we fucked up by assuming

that he was just some like leech family member that was out here for his own personal interests. That one decision to get him out of San Antonio puts him in the NBA Finals and in the top three players in the world discussion. And you got to understand. Do you think they make it to the NBA Finals on the Spurs if he's healthy? No. You don't think so? No. I think they make it.

I think they make it. I think they make it. I think the Spurs team can talk about it. I think the Rockets for them are no problem. I think the Warriors are a problem just because of LaMarcus. I think he just doesn't do. He's an ill-fitting piece in this NBA, which is crazy. I never saw that coming.

You're taking tough mid-range jumpers, man. It's like you can't really defend that well. You're a liability on any switch-off. He's like Dirk on any switch-off. So it's like you just attack that motherfucker. And I think he's what holds him back. I think—yeah, I agree with you. I don't think they do it. I think they're better suited. I think what's underrated

is Marc Gasol's feet. Like, if you watch Marc Gasol's feet for a guy his size, nimble. Motherfucking soccer player, bro, is that soccer shit. All those Spanish-European motherfuckers, bro. They gotta be able to move. Ain't no plotting shit in soccer, right?

Yeah, ain't no mic controls in the early 80s. This idea of sports specialists we have growing up in America where you play one sport and you get really good at it, I don't think it's good. What do you mean? Like, if they think you're going to be a baseball player, that's all you play. Oh, don't touch nothing else. Baseball all the time. Yeah, football, football all the time, quarterback all the time. I think football players, and I think they're coming around on this from what I understand, but like football players should play baseball, should play soccer,

should play basketball. Like all these things come in handy. Steve Nash, all we talk about is how his soccer background helped him as a basketball player. Soccer and basketball in particular. Hakeem Olajuwon soccer player. Mark Gasol, probably soccer player. Those two, you gotta play both of the same time. Hakeem had great footwork too, man.

They had the best footwork. The best. He's still teaching. They literally play a sport where all you do is work on your, everything's with your feet. Dude, Kobe even, like let's not sleep on the fact that Kobe

spent his formative years in Europe, right? Like you know he was picking up some shit. They even say, I mean it's a different sport, but Vasyl Lomachenko, he's a boxer.

Some say he's the pound for pound best boxer in the world. And incredible, like intense training from his father. But his father took him out of boxing for two years straight. Lomachenko he's a he's a boxer some say he's the pound for pound best boxer in the world and uh incredible like intense training from his father but his father took him out of boxing for two years straight and just made him do ballet he goes your footwork wasn't good enough on some like real Ukrainian like Russian like Rocky type training like but he was basically like it's not good enough do this thing that's all footwork and if you watch him it's majestic his footwork is majestic wow and it's maybe Takashi's point it's like yeah we're focusing so much on keeping your Footwork And if you watch him It's majestic Wow His footwork is majestic

Wow And it's Maybe Takashi's point It's like Yeah we're focusing so much On keeping your fucking elbow in Yeah That you can't even move

Around the court Right It's like At a certain point Diversity and training Is what's gonna What do they say Like you work the same muscle

Over and over again It doesn't get bigger That's a good point yeah Or do the same exercise Yeah Some shit with exercise What is that Muscle memory yeah like

so what happens your body just gets used to the exercise so you're not working it anymore or something i think that's what peanut on the x was for they call it muscle confusion oh yeah they would do some just other shit that your body's not used to because once you've done it so many times you can't grow anymore you got a different shit with it. Yeah, switch it up with the legs, huh? Okay, so here's an interesting hypothetical I want to talk to you guys about. So you both got the one on a wrap that's taking us. Yeah, I think. Okay, I want to bring this hypothetical up to you guys. This was an interesting one, right?

$10 billion, okay? You have three chances to hit an NBA three. Okay. Okay, if you hit one you get 10 billion dollars if you miss you do one year in maximum security prison this is from the ticket is it really yeah we saw this we saw this on uh i think i think it's actually a uh they might have gotten it from but they do one segment a week where they just think up a hypothetical as far as i know they thought of this is I think a popular one on the internet

I'm not risking any amount of money for a prison talk me through it again look at me it's the same fucking thing it's taking a punch

maximum security that means you're secure no no no it's just lonely when you go to jail maximum security means the most guards because it's the

illest motherfuckers on earth oh I thought you just by yourself in the middle room. Minimum security is you're chilling. Minimum security is we don't need that much security because you're some white-collar pussy. That's where I belong. Do they know?

That's my lane. My question is, do they know that's why you went to jail? Like, what you went for, fam? Mystery three? Mystery three? They got a million. What you went for, murder? fan murder they don't know why I'm in there like a front like yeah yeah no he's catching bodies and shit I look like a little one out there, dog. It's the motherfucking thing that's going to go down, dog.

Akash alam alaykum. Akash alam alaykum. That's going to get you killed, man. Are we taking quarter threes, straight away threes, any type of three? Any three. No, it's got to be full three. So the corner's not full. Do I come in cold? Can I warm up? No. Three threes, any type of three? Any three. No, it's got to be full three. So the corner's not full. Do I come in cold?

Can I warm up? No. Three threes. I mean, you can shoot the day before. You can shoot whatever. But there's no warm up on that rim. You have three threes. Everybody at home, think about this.

NBA threes. Three NBA threes. No, I'm not making it. I don't think I'm making it. NBA threes? Let me put this into context here. We're talking about $10 billion. Whatever, dog.

That's a ridiculous amount of money. What? Can I granny shot it? What? You would want to take it. You're going to risk a granny shot for NBA three? Bro, if I could set my feet and take forever. It's not just catch and shoot.

I can literally just take as long as I want to. You can take three days to do the shots if you want. Calculate the win. Do whatever the fuck you need. Okay? But listen, if you hit it, you're one of the richest people on the planet. If you don't, it's just one year.

Maximum security prison. That can't be. Yo, but. I mean, we have one guy who's actually been to jail here, so we should probably ask him about it. How was jail, Alex? He went to best case scenario jail. Yeah, I went to best case.

I would do it. You would do it? I would do it. You would miss. I've seen you shoot before. Son. After your little battle. Oh, you want to smoke next?

I got to win. I had to teach this guy how to play golf this weekend, bro. That shit was embarrassing, bro. Really? Do you really want to talk about that? I saw you on Instagram story. I saw you was looking low. I had to teach this guy how to play golf, bro.

Do you really want to talk about that? I had to teach him how to golf. I know the jig by now, so I see the Instagram stories. This guy can't play golf or shit, bro. I was teaching him how to play golf. You see him with this bullshit right now, right? I can read through it. That's what I'm saying.

I already know what happened. We're doing this shit where you throw the ball up, and then you bounce it, and then you got to hit it off the bounce. This guy was falling on the ground, couldn't hit it, had like 1,000 chances. You forget that I got the footage. I'm about to say, Alex, you just didn't start showing this type of shit. He has like a hundred takes of trying to hit the ball

off the bounce. I'm going to be honest with you. I was impressed by how many takes I didn't hit it. I'm literally swinging. I did a hundred takes in a row. You throw the ball up, it bounces once, and you try to hit it in the air. I did maybe 100 swings in a row. I'm like, I should hit it by accident by now. Bro, I might need and you try to hit it in the air, right? I did maybe 100 swings in a row.

I'm like, I should hit it by accident by now. Bro, I might need 100 takes to hit it off a tee. Even the lady comes over and is like, hey, guys, you got to stop with the trick shots, all right? The moment she walks away, this motherfucker goes and tries again. Like, he was relentless. I could not hit it, bro. Everybody looked around me, and they were like, at first it was funny, and then by shot 50, they were like, fam. Mark was saying this at 50.

He's like, bro, I think you're hitting it. It's just not going. I think it's disappearing or something. That was more believable that I was connecting with the ball, and it was disappearing than I could miss that many times in a row. I got it off second try. Yeah, but he fell the first one. I'm Tiger Woods out here, baby. I'm this guy. I'm fucking the white girls. That's not. I'm a natural. Yeah, but he fell the first one. I'm Tiger Woods out here, baby. I'm nice. I'm this guy.

I'm fucking the white girls. That's not going to be a problem. You are the natural. You walked right into that one. I'll take it. He's the weirdest golfer. You are Tiger. I'll take it.

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Especially Full Sack. Shout out to Full Sack. That's true. They're going to get a free plug. They're going to get a free plug. They're going to get a free plug. Shout out to full sack, baby. I bought some full sack for Brian. Hey.

Hey. We'll sort it back when you're ready to get back in the game. You know what I mean? You ready to go. Yes, sir. Some triplets. All right. Also, I got some dates coming up, man.

St. Louis. We're going to be there Friday and Saturday at the Helium Comedy Club in St. Louis. Holler at us if you've got some cool shit to check man uh st louis we're gonna be there friday and saturday at the helium comedy club in st louis hollered us if you've got some cool shit to check out in st louis you know we'll always do dropping in and we like your suggestions so let us know any camera guys oh yeah if you got any camera guys who want to help us out at the shows help shoot pull up as well we always love doing that um then we got the 6-7 so june 7th we're gonna be in ann arbor michigan first show sold out i believe at the second show so make sure you get some tickets for that's at the ann arbor showcase then uh the 8th and 9th we're in san francisco shows on the 8th sold out

early show on the 9th is sold out we got a late show on the 9th as well i think has some tickets left so get that real quick gobble that up gobble that up gobble that up um and then more shows at theandrewschultz.com man um new york city date those tickets are going get there and that um toronto date we got a second uh one yeah make sure that you uh make sure you get them tickets for that the first one sold out but the second one we got some left chicago man just go to the angel shows.com get that and also yo the merch i know you've been seeing our fashion videos i know you've been seeing the fashion videos alex and i have been putting up fashion shit is fire but we got the new merch uh coming out only available at the live shows man so make sure you come get them shits uh it's going to be only at the live shows. So we got a bunch of different things.

We got four different shirts. We'll post some videos this week of them. But the merch is just straight fire. Shout out to my man, Mark, who's been opening up and creating all the merch and everything like that. So you can get those at the live shows. You want to scoop them before a show, after a show. You're more than welcome to do it, man. But it's been so cool.

And we're going to try to make some more. I know uh we've been running out of shirts and running out of sizes pretty quickly you guys usually gobble them shits up and that's appreciative but uh we're gonna try to make some more but again first come first serve so get them shits while it's hot let's get back to the show um i don't think i said what i would do in this situation i think i would take the shots for 10 billion oh yeah i think i would take the shot yeah you're saying it like we were upset at us for not doing it yeah because one i believe in my luck i feel like it would go down here's the thing okay i do think in prison you wouldn't do great but at all but you got like hands like you box like you're not as much of a bitch as you look like you would be right i am every bit as much of a bitch i look like i would i also have a racial group to join

you got yo shake the head put a little tattoo on. You know what I mean? Prove the brilliance of these fans, right? You know what I mean? All right, Andy, finally. Then I just get the fucking tattoo on the forehead and shave your head. If you're a not racist white guy, but you go to prison, you got to choose up. You know what I mean?

You got to figure that shit out real quick. Get your N-words out while you can. If there's one safe space, it's actually safer for you to say the N-word in jail. Oh, my gosh. I need everybody to know why I'm in jail, though. Like, if I missed a shot. Right. Like, I don't want nobody coming up to me and be like, oh, what the fuck you in here for?

I'm like, bro, I just missed three points. Oh, all right, bro. I just let you go. Here's my question, right? I'm too cute for that. The offer still exists when you get out. Oh, I'm going for it again. How many times do you do it?

Right? Now it gets interesting. How many times do you do it until you go, fuck it, I got to stop spending years in jail? All right, another caveat. Is there a basketball hoop in the jail? A hundred percent. Oh, I'm taking it one more time. That's all you're doing. I'm to stop spending years in jail. All right, another caveat. Go. Is there a basketball hoop in the jail? A hundred percent. Oh, I'm taking it one more time.

That's all you're doing. I'm coming out of Clay Thompson. I'm going one for one. Bang. You're my $10 billion. I'm out of here. I'm taking off the warm-ups. Let's go.

I get a year of maximum security confinement, and I just have a basketball. And then when I get out, I get three shots to be a $10 billion return. And you tell everybody in the gym, you go, fellas, I'm about to be worth 10 billion. All right? Hold me down for this year. Just let me practice. Nobody do nothing. Let me, somebody, I need some rebounders.

Hey, Mexican gangbanger, stop doing pushups. Come here and get rebounders. You tell them you're going to be worth a billion because they're going to come back for way more than you. I'm going to be worth a hundred million dollars. I'll give you all a million. There's $2 million waiting for me outside of Chicago. Help me out here, guys. Protect me.

I got you when I get out. Guys, I get free Chipotle for a year if I hit this three-pointer when I get out. That's what I would say. You want to bring us some burritos, Wade? So, boom, you just get the full practice, and I think you knocked that down. Oh, absolutely. I get another shot at it? But how many times do you miss before you say not?

I think as a competitor, you just keep going until you get to 10 billion. Don't I know that about golf? I missed that fucking thing. Have you ever been so sure That I would just keep on shooting Oh Absolutely Without a doubt You would just keep

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He has to He has to Keep this Ship afloat Man Andrew was struggling In the bathroom I went in there to pee I felt real bad I was like yo Can we do this basketball game He said yeah But I was like bro

I don't know Recover as you need to Son Wait No we're doing the basketball game I was about to say Is this gonna Is this gonna

Postpone anything I hope not I don't think so I think it says A week recovery so So do we get like You gotta have like A sports center The game is two weeks away You gotta have like A sports center ticker I don't think so. I think it says a week recovery. So do we get like a... The game is two weeks away.

You got to have like a SportsCenter ticker, like injured reserve, like butt surgery. Guys, I'm going to get butt surgery. How crazy is this? I know. Asshole surgery. Asshole, like literally the whole of my ass. It's quite poetic when you think about it. I'm committed. This is like a tattoo.

You're the number one asshole. You're keeping it tight whether you like to or not, bro. Asshole general getting surgery on his general asshole. God damn. Go, go, go, go, go. Cass got to go to Duceypalooza. Some of y'all are already on the way.

Be good. Good shit. I'll take it easy, bro. See y'all there, man. I want to talk to Kaz about Giannis and see how he feels about the fact that his boy seems to just fall apart. Here's why I thought they would lose to the Celtics. Playoff and experience. And I think that finally came into play here okay i think once you run into a wall and you haven't done it a lot you don't know

how to deal with the adversity yeah who's gonna make the adjustments i think there's just a lot of like the nba more than any other sport you have to lose a few it seems like before you win yeah the only team that kind of bypassed it kind of was the warriors and even then they got their lumps out yeah but like you need at least one playoff heartbreak, it seems like. Can't get over the hump and then you get it. Yeah, to learn to put it together. No, that's a good point. I think we just learned that the Raptors were better at making adjustments.

And they also had an X-Factor player. They had Kawhi. But Giannis could be an X-Factor player. Yeah, I think when you're inexperienced in the playoffs, it's just like, I don't know how to adjust to the adjustment. I don't know how this... But I think a coach is supposed to do that, right? What's his name?

He's a good coach, Buddenholzer or whatever. Yeah, but he didn't make the adjustments. It's like you found out exactly what they were doing with Johnnis. You know what they were going to do. You know that you weren't going to win with Johnnis. First of all, you sit Bledsoe down. He sucked it up. And then you let Chris Middleton cook.

Chris Middleton, he can give you 30. Just let him go for it. I think that they lived and died with Jonas, essentially. And they didn't have any of their role guys really step up. Where was Brogdon? Was he killing it? No. Games 1 and 2, he

did great. The fucked up thing is and people have said this before but it's like, playoff games are often won by role players. Look at Iggy. Right? One of the greatest things about Golden State is they have all-star

role players. Sean Livingston off the bench is your backup to Steph. And if you're Kyle Lowry, you're barely six feet tall, and Sean Livingston gets it eight feet away from the basket, there's nothing you can do. The only hope is you're just strong enough to bully him the fuck out. Even then, he does that little turnaround. He has one shot.

It's a little turnaround on the baseline. And he gets his arms up so high you can't block it. And the assumption is I'm going to have a little point guard on me. I'm six what is he? Five? Minimum. Six, six. And long. I'm just going to shoot over you. Simple as that.

So it's like that you got to be able to make adjustments and I just don't think I don't think that the Milwaukee organization was able to make them. I think next year they might take a step back. I think within the next two years they can win it all. Now the tricky thing is that's how many years Giannis has left on his deal. Right. And I don't know if he's going to go anywhere.

The city seems to love him. It was pretty beautiful there. Did you guys see when he showed up back in Milwaukee? No. It was pretty cool. There were people waiting for him at the airport just chanting mvp and like that's how you keep a star no it is how you keep a star now oklahoma city tried it i think and they were like but they also had the mr unreliable newspaper headline that's it simple you turn on me

motherfucker i dare you like small i'm sorry small market you can't have freedom of press like new york say whatever you want you're an okc he got no reason to be there he's doing y'all a fucking favor he okay i'll be okay but for real like think about that like you have to do everything in your power to keep that celeb there because he's losing money by staying in OKC. Right. He goes to the tech hub of the world. You know how much money he probably made just in investments? According to Carl Lentz, he made a lot of money.

He tripled his net worth. It's like – Let me ask you this Warriors question. I wanted to ask a Toronto question or something. I wanted to ask something else, but I forgot what it was. But this is something I noticed. Klay Thompson didn't get All-NBA. Yeah, yeah.

They made a big deal about that. And he was seemingly— So what happens with that? I think there's some contract thing if you make All-NBA. I didn't even know about the contract situation. All I know is—and if you guys can look into that, that'd be great. This is my assumption. All I know is, and if you guys can look into that, that'd be great.

This is my assumption. I think in order to get a certain super max, I think in order to get a super max contract, you have to be on an all NBA team. Right. So if you miss the all NBA team, you're available for the max, but not the super. Okay. So he lost $40 million. He lost his super max.

Because he's not all NBA. Wow. It's like a lot of money. If you're Klay, do you want KD back at all? Because if KD's not there, we're watching this version of Klay all season. Do we think he doesn't make third team all NBA? Has to. No fucking question he does. Has to.

Massive. You want to talk about who's made the biggest sacrifice? Klay, bro. One step. Financial. Now it is $40 million I just left on the table. Damn. Financial.

I saw a tweet. I don't know if it's real, but I saw a tweet saying that Clay was in Toronto for Game 6 against the Bucs. He was, like, scouting. Really? Yeah, I love that. If that's true that's true i love that dude if you are any team with cap room yeah do you go after clay the hardest here's the thing my fear with clay is this if he's the best player on his team he'll be exposed i, like we were talking about KD, I think Steph

makes Klay really good. I think Klay also makes Steph have to work less hard on the perimeter. See, that's the thing. Like, okay, does he? Steph is creating his shots from being Steph, right?

It's these crazy deep threes, these step backs running around. What is Klay? I think the team defense is why Steph isn't exposed as a terrible defender. The defensive team of Golden State is good. So Draymond and Klay. Defensively, sure. Steph is regular

defender, right? Maybe not even good. Maybe even put there. But I'm just talking about if you're getting Klay to be on your team, to be your best player you need him give you buckets here's what i meant let me read let me reword my question because i think i came i was thinking from a mavericks point of view because that they got luca and i i know clay is already there everybody's 1a if you everything you wanted with harrison

barnes is clay does he seem more get am i crazy? I think he seems more gettable now that the Supermax is off the table. And you could go to his ego and be like, look, man, you ate $40 million for KD. So, and again, I got to understand the trade more. You could look this up, Edwin. But I think not getting the Supermax makes you want to stay home even more because your original team can offer you the biggest contract? Still? Yes, because they have the ability to offer you one more year than everybody else.

Five years. So if he made the All-NBA team, he could get five years for $221 million. Right. Not making it five years, $191 million. So he lost $30 million over five years. He lost $30 million. Plus, if he leaves, he gets a four-year deal, I think. I don't think he...

I think only... Yes. So he's losing... So your sell to him then would be in four years... Hold on one second. He's losing, if he leaves, $70 million. Wow. So he would get, what, four years for $120? He'd get four.

No, he's going to get four years for $151. Around. Right? Yeah, okay. So he's losing an extra. But here's what you would say to Clay, I think. Listen, four years, you'll get another contract. The salary cap will be higher.

You can make that money. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Which is why a lot of players end up leaving because it's like, look, I'm going to make the money back, whatever. Right. Now, I think you would have to go to him with the ego play of, look, man, have you not given enough for this fucking team? Have you not sacrificed enough? Yeah, he has. And you have the right to go get it.

I just don't think he can carry. I don't think he can carry either. I don't think he can carry, but I think as a number two, he's one of the best ever. So that's the question, right? It's like, where does he go be number two? How many teams have the number one? How many teams have a legit number one? Have number one and cap space?

How many teams just have a number one? Who's he going to be? He ain't going to be number two to Kemba. He ain't going to be number two to Jason Tatum. The Bucs can create some cap space? How many teams just have a number one? Who's he going to be? He's going to be number two to Kemba. He's going to be number two to Jason Tatum. So the Bucs can create some cap space. They have to give up a lot. He would be a huge step up from Chris Middleton. He's a super Chris Middleton.

Yeah. Right? And don't get me wrong, he'd be getting a lot of buckets because you just put him on the same side of the floor as Giannis. Giannis needs to get everybody. They come over and double? Yeah.

Now you're wide open. Yeah. But he needs to be in that situation where there is a legit number one. And we're talking about Giannis. We're talking about one of the best players in the league, right? Yeah. So this is kind of scary. As great as Klay is, he can only be saddled to a black hole of a player that's just going to have the entire defense gravitating toward him so he can get his buckets.

I mean, if you're the Lakers, you make it crazy. I think you push for Klay over everyone else. Yeah, because you got LeBron. And you got your father played here, man. Oh, yeah. There's reasons to go. There's reasons to go. If you're the Clippers and you want to get two free agents, he's the number two guy you get.

I think if you're the Mavs and you think Luka's going to be great, great which i think he's gonna be really fucking good yeah you can say look man here's a guy who can find you whenever you're open go play d go help money nothing we also got chris tabs if he's remotely healthy we're good like we're you're not gonna get all the attention you're good go i think three teams at least should make a super hard push for clay hard. Here's a question. If the Mavs have Klay, does that stunt Luka's growth? I don't think so because Klay's not...

The beauty of Klay is a number two. And again, I think we should talk about him as the greatest number two ever because he doesn't demand the ball

other than to catch and to shoot. Right. What do you have, like, 50 points and 11 dribbles or whatever the fuck crazy stat it was?

Like, how is that not going to help you? Hey, I'm just going to get you assists. I don't need the ball. I'll guard the other team's best defender and I don't need the ball that much. Just get me shots and I'll knock them down. I guess I just wonder if you stop seeing those step back threes from Luca, right? You stop seeing like driving to the basket with the intent to score and you start seeing

him pass to Klay coming around some screen and then pulling up. I think that's something that would work itself out. Maybe with a young player. But if you're LeBron, this is your dream. You said this years ago. Go for it. The ideal sidekick for LeBron is Klay.

He's perfect. Go for it. This is awesome. You guys are saying that Klay's always going to be a number two. He has no incentive to leave then. If he's not going to a team to be a number one, why should he leave? I think you would have to say to him. So let's look at it like this.

This is a great point. You could. He's staying. He's staying. Think of the math, right? I can see that. I mean, listen, I got talked out of this pretty quickly. No, I agree with you.

I think you could make the argument he's the best number two ever simply because of how effective he is defensively like how many number twos are that good but like you said if you know you're going to be a number two

the only reason to leave would be to get a super max which Golden State wouldn't offer you right can't offer you now it's not even possible what I heard before

is if they don't offer him the super max he's going to test the waters but maybe that was just a disrespect no no no like he can't offer him the Supermax, he's going to test the waters. But maybe that was just a disrespect or whatever. No, no, no. Like, he can't get a Supermax because he's not a- Yeah, well, I'm saying before this happened.

Right, right, right. Yeah. So now he's in a situation, Supermax not available. Golden State can offer him. They can take the cap hit, and they should. They can offer him a max. Which they will. Which he'll be a number two which is

great he goes somewhere else he's a number two he's never going to be number one why not be a number two at the place where you've won all these rings here's the thing what he doesn't want to be is a number three and what is he not going to be when kd leaves number three exactly this is the ideal scenario is he stays right the fuck where he is and is back to Splash Brothers and then NBA fans, we get to have the most exciting team in the league back. Say what you want about the,

and I've said everything about the Warriors. It was fun. Yep. Yeah. It was even fun to hate. Yeah. But when you see balls going in baskets, it's hard to look away.

Yeah. That's what we want. When you see these motherfuckers just chuck's hard to look away. Yeah. That's what we want. When you see these motherfuckers just chucking shit up and back-breaking teams, it's what we want. I'm telling you. There's a reason why you got all these fair-weather fans out here. There's a reason why you got girls watching the NBA now because you got these two cute light-skinned dudes chucking up threes from 40 feet.

It is cute. It's mad cute. It's adorable if i was a girl that's what i want to watch look how high the ball goes i don't want an aggressive ass dunk he could hurt his wrist do you know what i mean i want to see a dude hold his hand out like he got a mammy that's that's something i can relate to as a girl right like this is this is the best thing wait for it for the nba you break up the super team and create two more potential rivals rivals but like real teams yeah that's what the league wants that's what the fans want who maybe doesn't't want it? Golden State fans? Go fuck yourself.

You've been to the finals five straight times. And you're still going to go quite possibly. And you still got to chase. I still think they're the team to beat without KD. Probably. They still the team. Probably. You think they slap up on Toronto? Yeah, they're winning. I think they're winning. How many games do you think?

I ain't going to lie. They might sweep. Nah, B. That's a bold prediction, B. They might sweep. That's a bold prediction, Ed. That's how you make a bold prediction. No, you said last week Ed said some dumbass bold prediction. I don't think it goes seven. No matter who wins, it doesn't go seven.

Damn. Do you think the winning team is going to win four of the seven games? Do you think that too? I think the ball is going to go in the basket. There. And the victorious team is going to go in the basket. Yeah. And the victorious team is going to have more points than the loser. That's probably another thing that could happen, right?

How many players do you think are going to be on the court at one time? I don't know. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you who can't win. Yeah. Milwaukee. Yo. Bold, son.

That is bold, son. I just don't think Milwaukee can win anymore, man. Hey, you know what I think is going to happen? I think if players get fouled in the act of shooting, they might shoot some free throws, bro. I think that might happen out here, dude. That is a realistic scenario. For real. No, for real. And I got a sneaky suspicion.

It might be four quarters to these games, bro. Holy shit, dog. You need potential overtime. I think they're going to play all four. You need both teams playing all four quarters to these games holy shit dog you ain't got potential overtime I think they're going to play all four you think both teams play all four quarters I know it's crazy to say but if I had money and I had to put my money down I would say they're going to be minimum

four quarters bro oh shit dog y'all want to know some crazy shit I got a feeling when they dribble on the ball they're only going to use one hand at a time dribble the ball they only gonna use one hand at time i really think they're gonna use one hand at a time bro oh fuck it's nuts out here ain't it oh bro holy shit i hate you guys so much oh my god tim and then i'm paid hey that's what's up but that's a real money to save Warriors and Four.

Warriors and Four, you think it's a sweep? I don't think so, y'all. I think y'all are tripping on some shit. Y'all, I had a crazy thought earlier today, man. Because I was talking to my boy, and a lot of shit is going right for my boy, right? Unlike you, shit is going all wrong it couldn't be going more on every shit hits a detour turn left please turn left uh and i was yo, the assumption is that karma is a way to like make people obedient, right? Like that's the Western assumption of karma, right?

That karma operates in the same way that heaven operates, right? A, you better do good because if not, karma is going to come get you. I think that's how Westerners understand the idea of karma right but what if karma was invented the inception was a way to handle the good things that happen in your life what if here you are this person is succeeding around so much suffering and it's a way of processing and enjoying that success amongst all these people who are not being successful without having that success be ruined by guilt? What if it's a way of going,

hey, yeah, maybe I did something really good to deserve this. Therefore, I can enjoy it instead of going, oh my God,

you're living such a hard life. You're living such a hard life. I can see both lines of thinking because back in the day, I could see the one dude who's successful in the millions dying. Dying around him.

I could be like, yo, I got to think of something so I don't feel so fucking guilty. But I in the millions dying. Dying around him. Be like, yo, we need, I gotta think of something so I don't feel so fucking guilty. But I must earn this somehow. Hey, last life. I was the man. Because he knew this life you ain't.

You know? And I could also see a bunch of people being like, yo, we don't got shit. This guy got everything. How do we incentivize him to give us something? Yes. So I could see either. I'm gonna name drop now. got shit this guy got everything how do we incentivize him to give us something yes so i can see either i'm gonna name drop now but uh it just because it is very poignant uh i had the

coolest experience ever hanging out with bill burr last night at the comedy cellar yeah and and he was randomly talking about karma because he there's this interview he did with barry katz who was this like notorious like manager but piece of shit like stole from everybody like hilarious and he did his podcast barry cats podcast and apparently he just scorches barry cats to his face i need to hear this dude i gotta go i was just complaining about the barry cats podcast two weeks ago and when when burr gets in the zone oh he locks in it's jordan it's just like everything's dropping it's steph right so it's like comedically he has a bit. So he was telling this story. He goes, he's like, yeah, I believe in karma. Is he comedian Clay Thompson?

Underrated. Dude. Underrated. But knocked down. And when he's on fire, there's nothing like it. Does not miss. Does not miss. He definitely has his own team though.

Oh, he's an alpha. Yeah, he's Steph. Okay. So it's like, or Reggie. Oh, shit. You know what I mean? The Black Jordan. Yeah.

The Black Jordan's next. Yeah. So it's like, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, yeah, I believe in karma, but I think it only works if you believe in it. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, because this guy Barry Katz, he just doesn't believe in it so he's a piece of shit and it works out the guy was so notoriously awful dude he kept going over thing after thing how we would fuck over comics he would do this thing where he'd book a college gig right for like 10 grand oh no he was doing this for years with chapelle

he would book chapelle to play the college when he knew chapelle wasn't able to play the college because he was doing an acting gig and then the day before sometimes the day of he'd call the college back chapelle can't make it wow and then he called up bill burr bobby kelly or these guys like hey i got 300 bucks for you if you want to do a college wow right so the only reason they found out that he was keeping the other like ten thousand dollars for the gig is because sometimes the college kid would fuck up and give them an envelope with the check and they'd open the check and they'd be like 15 grand wow we're getting 500 bucks fuck and they'd be like how much you getting 500 so they'd be like dude and then and this is a perfect example of barricades so they were like what's up with

this 15 000 check we're only getting $500. And then Barak Etzer was just like, all right, you got me. I'll give you an extra $700. He just had no – he was like, even in the interview when I'm just roasting, leaving in, he's just kind of laughing along with it. And then as somebody's laughing, you're like, I guess it's not that big a deal. Wait, he's saying this to the guy's face? To his face in the interview. Oh, that. I got to see this that big a deal. Wait, he's saying this to the guy's face? To his face.

Holy shit. In the interview. Oh, that. I got to see this. That's crazy. If I don't give a fuck, no. Oh, you don't care. You don't care. And just like going at him, relentlessly going at him.

Because the guy stole from everybody. Barry Katz. How is he still like? So he had, from what they were explaining to me, He had an amazing amount Of real estate Within the comedy business So he was A manager A booking agent

So he was double dipping on clients Right So he'd get His 10% deal as a manager And then It was college booking So you pay college bookers 20%

So he's taking 30% Off of college You know Manager, booking agent And then I think he also had a production company or something like that and then he had all these like one-nighter gigs up in new england and he had a fucking comedy club the boston comedy club i thought was his yes so like if you're a comic especially in the new york area you're like well if i want to work i gotta you gotta go to

berry i can't ruffle the feathers yeah you and, but it was amazing to hear these comics say the fucking dirt bag things that this guy, and I said, how did nobody punch this guy in the face? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And he's like, it was close.

It was very close. A lot of people were very close, but he just kind of smiled his way out of it. Wow. And now he's having this resurgence with this podcast. I can't handle listening to the podcast. I fucking hate his voice. Really? Yeah, it's just so like smarmy. Who'd you try to listen to?

I tried to listen to the Russell Peters interview. Oh, okay. And then off jump, he's saying like, I saw you with Torgasm, you were there, and Dane was there, and I said, this guy's gonna be the next star. And I was like, you didn't say shit. Why didn't you sign him if you thought he was gonna be so fucking big? Fucking loser. I'm so irritated. I just turned it

off. I was like, I can't handle this bullshit. I never never listened what's up with russell what's he up to now um i don't i opened for him like a year ago right and he was engaged at the time and now he's not so i don't know but russell somebody i have the utmost respect for haven't heard anything but good things about him as a dude to comics. Like, if you're a comic and you're opening for Russell, and you don't have, like, he'll just buy you, like, a laptop or a cell phone if you don't have a good cell phone. Right. Just go to the Apple Store, give him my name, you're good.

Right. Like, just took care of people. Yeah. Do you think he's managing his money well? I don't know. I remember after the show, he took, melly mel was there like he's like loves old school hip-hop you know the dj yeah yeah so like melly mel came through somebody else came through some old school hip-hop dude i don't remember which one but like we all went to a

bar afterward he took the whole caroline staff paid for everybody's stuff i assume but he seems like he's still doing all right yeah i asked him about that clip um and i said like i don't remember what i asked him this is a year and a half ago now but i was just like what was that like whatever and then he said it's crazy that one clip made me millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars it was a nice little flex from him because he doesn't like to flex super hard with me at least uh but it was just cool to i don't know it's cool to talk about about it a little bit it's just interesting when you think about't know, it was cool to talk about it a little bit. It's just interesting when you think about money. I was talking to a buddy of mine, and we were talking about freedom. I'm at a certain point in my career.

We're both at these different points in his career where he is more wealthy than me, but he still has a boss. He still has someone That he has to do his job Or else he could Potentially get fired And there are certain Protections he has Etc

He likes his job Loves his job And you know him Yeah And But And like I'm in this situation

Where you know I'm not making As much as him But I'm very comfortable But I also don't have A direct boss Like You know I was saying to Alex Really what we are Is we're like Farmers making as much as him but i'm very comfortable but i also don't have a direct boss like i you know i was saying alex really what we are is we're like farmers yeah right like every bit of content

we put out that seeds that we're planting and then hopefully this grows the tour is the harvest right and and these different things right but like even the podcast right we're harvesting we're getting ads now we're doing these things Patreon And you know All this stuff But it's like We're really Sowing these seeds And then you know Recruiting what we put out

But it's up to us To put it out And hopefully we have a connection So you guys listen in And then you know You guys spread the word Fuck with us And there is

A freedom that comes from that But there's another level of freedom Yeah The next level of freedom is And it's true freedom is financial security meaning what is your nut you need to hit say it's 20 grand a month after taxes whatever that's true true freedom that's you can do whatever you truly want to do in your life. You do the jobs you want to do.

I'm very fortunate that I was able to create jobs out of things I love. And I don't want to do anything that I don't love doing. But there's a version of that freedom. And it's a freedom that rich kids have, the kids that grow up wealthy, Right? And it's a freedom that rich kids have, the kids that grow up wealthy, and the weird dynamic of life, like how confusing life is, is oftentimes the people that have things did not earn them, so they cannot appreciate them.

So these kids who actually have true freedom because they're financially set never value it because they never understood what sacrifice it takes to get there yeah right so we're talking about like how do you get to true true freedom what is what is the best way right and it's obviously you can make a whole bunch of money financial freedom well i think true true freedom requires it fuck you all my business friends call fuck you money yeah fuck you money. Yeah, fuck you money. Great. To me, $3 million in an account. Yeah, it's fuck you. You can just make money off safe investments.

Right. 5%. It's a pretty safe return. Right. I think the stock market average is $8. $600,000. That, yeah. No, $150,000.

Yeah, $150,000 a year. Yeah, yeah. You can live off of that. And then any money, any job you give me, if I don't want it, I'm good. I have my money to live. Right. Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't need your money. And then you can do any job you give me, if I don't want it, I'm good. I have my money to live with. Right. Fuck you. Fuck you.

I don't need your money. And then you can do whatever you want to do. You don't have to worry about being censored. You don't have to worry about anybody saying anything, anybody taking what you have. Because even if they take what you have, you still have. Right. Right? So we were talking about ways to do this.

And for some people, probably listen right now, the idea of just having $3 million is like, what are you talking? I make 50 grand a year. How do I get $3 million? You know? And there's another way I think to get there. And it is backing into your nut.

Right? So let's say your nut is 10 grand a month right you can have passive income back you in yeah right so you can have let's say you found a way to buy a house and now you're airbnb-ing it or you're renting it let's say you have um you know your wife also has a situation like that or you know let's say you guys do you know some online content where you're getting these different things you just got to get to that 10 grand yeah right um via passive income what if you only get to five okay but now you're only five grand in the hole every month that's different that's part-time yeah or whatever it is side hustles are very important

and what happens is you can get to a point in passive income where you just need a side hustle for the rest of your life. Yeah. Right? So I guess what we were trying to do is break down this task and make it less big. And he told me about this thing. I got to get the right thing. But it's this investment app. And these people, what they've done is they've done all the math, right?

And you choose the amount of risk you want to take. Something like made simple or some shit like that. There's a few of these. Yes. But what they do is they- My best friend works for one of those companies, but I forget which one. We got to talk to him. Yeah.

We got to talk to him because- Al, you farted? I did. All right. So we got to- We got to- My nose is not like that no more. We got to talk to him.

And because what it is is I'm a fucking idiot. I just keep money in my fucking bank account because I have this like- Yeah, everybody's been telling you this. I know. I'm financially illiterate. Because I have this broke person mentality, right? Like, which is just- Like, I bought my apartment because my parents bought

real estate but they didn't they weren't financially literate they didn't know about stocks yeah but you like stumbled into a really good investment i did but the only reason i went to buy it is because my parents had one of my parents didn't have it then i wouldn't have i just you know but my boy was explaining to me he's like dude if you just put 50 grand away and you're making 10 on that in this program it. It's like, think about that. For the last eight years, you could have done that. Yeah, I mean, 10% is high, but yeah, just for math's sake, that's five grand a year. Exponentially grown because you're adding to it.

It's like, oh, there's a book. It's written by an Indian dude, so I have no problem plugging it. It's called I Will Teach You to Be Rich. If you're in your 20s, you have to get this book. If you're in your 30s, I read it at 33 and then almost went broke at 34 so i couldn't invest anything but uh it is a good book to read and it will just teach you basics of money and like this is how you save for retirement i will teach you to be rich that's

what we need to do in this podcast i feel like on some level not only like financial we just need to teach you know optimization you know we talk about like all the companies we want to be involved and we want your balls to be full your dick to be hard all that kind of shit but like we need to do simple shit because motherfuckers is eating steak well done you know i mean like there are still people out here eating steak well done let me just say that pisses me off yo but alex quiet because he used to eat it like that do you used to used to no but so think about white people but but but real talk is like there are people out listen right now they're like wait you're not supposed to eat it well done yeah right so like on some level we got a little responsibility

to be to be dropping jewels i'm just saying you show up to a business meeting right and you guys are the steak restaurant you order your steak well done you're not closing that deal unless you sign a deal with salmone, you are not closing that deal. Unless you sign a deal with Salmonella, you're not closing that deal, right? Because they're going to look at you like, what the fuck is this guy going on? He's got a fucking idiot. Yeah.

So, and now, I know there's people listening right now, they're like, I don't get it. What does it matter? It doesn't matter. You can have your steak however you want to have it,

but there are little cultural implications, right? Yeah. Rich people also in particular have a specific set of rules that they use to judge you because that's that's how they keep their class structure yeah that's their that's their shitty way of thinking but it is their shitty way of thinking so like code switch on them like all right i'm at this restaurant with this old white dude i'm gonna get a steak medium or medium rare or whatever so we got to do that we got to

like think of fun like it could be funny ones too but it's like a lesson that we teach like how to tip like those motherfuckers listeners don't know how to tip and the tipping system is idiotic we've talked about this at length oh absolutely 20 total bills just fucking infuriates me i was thinking about it i swear i was thinking about it this weekend why i don't even know it just randomly pissed me off life going well everything good about the NBA finals this guy has one moment of clarity that's why they need to meditate son they would just piss off about tipping that's what it was that's where fucking Hinduism started some waiter was like oh so you're not gonna leave 20% they're like oh I need to pray I need to pray before I kill this motherfucker yo in eighth grade I lost ten dollars. I need to pray before I kill this motherfucker.

Yo, in eighth grade, I lost $10, and I literally could not sleep the entire night. I swear. I woke up in the middle of the night at like 2 a.m., and I couldn't fall back asleep. I was thinking about this $10 so much, man. That shit ate away at me. I got up early, went to school early, and looked in the place. I walked into an all-teachers meeting to the classroom where I thought I lost my $10. I was like, guys, I'm sorry, but I got to see if it's in here.

It ate away. You ever find that $10? No, man. I still think about it. I still follow it up to this day. To this day. To this day. Oh, man.

Every time I lost money, dog. you know how often i lose ten dollars son you know how often i just buy some shit don't fit and i'm like i guess i got some shit that don't fit i don't even be returning shit bro it's fucked up man you know i actually done that a couple times too which is an odd juxtaposition with me or whatever but like i'd be fucking i mean i remember every time i lost actual cash and shit every time i think about him like god damn i remember one time i found 40 and lost 15 and still bothered me that could have made my net profit is affected just think about this no no think about how much he's emotionally affected by losing money, right?

And now imagine last year as he was going broke for a whole year, son. How you still got hair on your head? That was not fun. Bro. I got grays out of it. Grays in my beard. Fucking out here looking like Donnell Rawlings. How did he not get a hemorrhoid last year?

Yeah, real talk. How'd that stress not give you hemorrhage i don't know dog i avoided the hammer damn you know i need some hemis that was rough though yeah that was rough so yeah so we got to figure out shit we got to come like once a week as we learn shit we should you know yeah and as we learn that there are people that don't know about shit. Like, real talk, I learned more about cleaning my ass from hanging out with you. Yeah. And your legs. Oh, yeah. And my legs.

Like, just not cleaning my... So here's the thing. We should tell them. We stay at black Airbnbs when we're on the road. That's just us. Support black businesses. We support black businesses. We call them Air R&Bs.

Right? And we... And so... So... So we stay at our Air air RMBs Right And we And So So So we stay in our air RMBs Right Yo you gotta stay in black air RMBs bro Air RMBs

Air RMBs so good We in the air RMB bro They don't Smooth living Let me tell you something You know how like white people Be having air RMBs As like a business Yeah Black people still living In their air RMBs bro They didn't. Smooth living. Let me tell you something. You know how white people be having Airbnbs as a business?

Yeah. Black people still living in their AirRMBs, bro. They didn't even move the crib. There was a crib where the baby, they left the baby with us. I saw that video. The baby's there. Where the fuck are they staying? We babysat the whole weekend.

The guy was like, yo, I'll be right back. Just watch Lil' JJ for us. And we're like, all right, I guess. And then never came back in true black man fashion. Dude probably legit left five minutes before we got there. 100%. His laptop was still plugged in. His laptop was plugged in.

One of the towels was wet. He put some pictures up of black women so it looked like we weren't going to fuck up the place because it would be disrespectful to black women. But you know it was just him in there. So that's the craziest thing that happened. And we didn't even acknowledge this when we left. So check out with that 12. Yeah. Dude just him in there The craziest thing that happened And we didn't even acknowledge this When we left So check out with that 12 Yeah

Dude just walked in at 1130 First time black person been early Like He didn't knock Nah He just walked in It's his place So whatever

But we're still Not whatever though We're still there Yeah And then he saw that we're there He walked in and just started kicking it Kicking it with a card Fucking funny though Walked his he walked in and just started kicking it like no like oh god you need a little what like nah i'm home now yo that was the weirdest that shit well yeah it got intimate

but you're just so friendly so that's another thing we were learning just about like washing your legs in the shower apparently white people don't wash their legs in the shower which is kind of true depends on how i feel yeah i don't i'm hitting miss with that you're white too bro i don't know how do you not wash your legs far it's just listen so far and i remember duval had a meme about this soap real talk armpits nuts and the rest is like if i'm if i'm feeling energetic that day, we got it. You just said only armpits and nuts. No, armpits, nuts, ass. I can't bend over now with my hemorrhoid because my asshole pokes out. All right.

But like, yeah, I mean, the rest of the water got that. Dirty. Yeah, I let the suds drip down. But that's a white thing. So now that we know that, we're coming across. Yeah. Like, Eden, you shower in a river. So what is that experience like when you're at the mouth of a river and you're rubbing

stones against your dry skin to get it out? Well, he's not showering. He's just swimming across. Yeah. This is a freedom swim I made it I made it I'm not gonna lie

That one got me off guard Son It's true bro Yo so do y'all use washcloths Or do y'all just do straight up soap Son Black ARMBs Man washcloths

Man washcloths son more than the hotel you know the hotel got like a bunch of different size washcloths a black rmb right there right next to it it's big towel washcloth alex was using them shits they were all wet yep i ain't using i went through three in three days that poor man gotta wash Your washcloths To bend on your ass I can't believe Y'all just Y'all don't wash your legs Your pants don't like

Stick to you and shit You gotta understand Like your legs It's so Little soap It's so quick to clean Yeah like You're basically washing

A flamingo You know what I mean It's nothing for you You just do that shit. I think you could detach your legs. You got legs. You really got,

you got removable legs, Alex. So you just detach, wash them, you don't got to bend over. Real talk. That's what you're built like. You're built like an angry bird. You're built like an ostrich.

Ostrich. Hey, I'm looking like this Body like this Head like this That's a funny ass Kevin Hart joke You know Comedy Central Cut that out of the TV airing

Like you have to watch The Netflix special To see the whole Kevin Hart ostrich story These fucking idiots These fucking idiots. Anyway, we should probably wrap it up, man, unless there's something else you really want to hit. Yeah, sure.

Motherfucker. Jesus Christ. What happened? Ed, on it. Boy, Ed. You just said, fuck this guy. You ain't shit. Isn't it funny though that every time he talks be like yo what the fuck man i know that i love him dog it's just a funny little bit but that was actually great i'm glad you brought that up um okay which would you okay this is this is this is this is a

dope hypothetical that we're gonna steal from espPN since they steal so much shit from us. Facts. I think they got it from online. I saw it on, like, Rich's regular Twitter. See, these motherfuckers probably stole it from someone else, even. Okay, which one would you rather have seen happen? MJ never retired the first time. Shaq and Kobe never split up.

LeBron and Kobe faced off in the finals. Derrick Rose never got injured. Not even a question. Derrick Rose never got injured Not even a question Derrick Rose Never got injured Really? You're talking about At the youngest MVP

In the history of the game Unstoppable force I would love to see What he ended up doing I mean this is him young This is him at How old was he? When he started getting injured?

Two something like that Right? So he's that young Starting to get injured Imagine when he starts Developing a Consistent jumper And he has that Explosiveness to injured. Imagine when he starts developing a consistent jumper and he has that explosiveness of that basket.

You're looking at one of the best ever. The guy was MVP at 20. He might be. 22, I think he was MVP. 22. 23, I think he got hurt. Like dominating. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now that I think about it. Because all the other ones are just like, I kind of like that Kobe, MJ, I mean, Kobe, LeBron, Faso. Because the top two are just, you just want to see people win more. This is the only one that really shakes the course of NBA history. Like, MJ, let's say he keeps playing or he doesn't. He's still going to be the GOAT. These guys never split up.

Okay, maybe they win a couple more rings, but Kobe ended up doing it and so does Shaq. I think it's better for Kobe they did split up. Of course. 100% better for Kobe's legacy if they did split up. But this one right here changes every other discussion surrounding the Bulls, Derrick Rose, point guards. I mean, bro.

This one right here fucks with Iverson's legacy. Word. Yeah. Derrick Rose ends up having that type of career maybe even sneaks out a ring that's I've that now you're talking Iverson and I know he loves Tibbs and Tibbs made him a better player but I think you also got to blame Tibbs for the injury I think 45 minutes a game ain't good for anybody 100% yep 100 100 and on some level i think maybe that's why tibbs resigned him oh maybe it was like i gotta give him an opportunity i gotta do this right i gotta

do the right thing maybe i'm gonna sign you when nobody wants you that's a good that's another good discussion which is like what happens with derrick rose next year yeah he had a great season yeah i think he wants to just stay with tips as long as tips is in minnesota he's gonna stay with him he loves out though tips out yeah they fire tips they got a new coach i completely forgot yeah so it's like i mean he demonstrated skill he demonstrated he could stay healthy like yeah yeah he dribbles the ball a lot but he could definitely be on a new orleans or be on one of these teams that's like. A championship team that needs a bench, that's your guy.

Ew. And no ego. So that's a different discussion. I was like, does he start on a team that is shitty, or does he come off the bench on a team? I think if you're him, you want to come off a bench of a team that's good. That's the one thing you haven't really, since your MVP season. Okay, this is wild.

Maybe this is just me being a little bit indulgent here. If you're the Clippers, do you make a move and then have your bench be – You got to. Real talk, I put them in at the same time. I go six and seven. You guys go in there and terrorize the B defense. Right. The second they sub in their B defense, I go give them Lou, give them Derek.

What you going to do? And then just go, hey, Derek, Lou, go him. Back and forth possessions. Just go nut. I like it. I like it. But you got to get a max guy to make that Clippers teamwork. Yes.

But still, like that will be, and Doc is going to respect, Max guy to make that Clippers team work. Yes. But still, that would be... And Doc is going to respect... He's going to respect Doc. Doc's going to respect him. Dude, that would be a fun... You're there for the second quarter. You're showing up to the game, which is when these guys go for the relentless crossover. It's M1.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah, that's the number one. Never got injured. I would like to have seen the Kobe Lakers and the Miami LeBron. I would like to have seen that. You want it more than Derek? No, no, no.

Not more. Derek Rose, number one. That's number two. Miami LeBron. Wait. When LeBron was on the heat. Oh, he went up against Kobe. Go against Kobe.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Kobe would have relished that. So here's, all right, maybe, look, we're always coming up with good stuff towards the end. So here's an interesting conversation, right? There's all these NBA players, right? For the first time, they're going to the promised land. And they've dedicated their entire lives to this moment.

Right. Right? To winning this this goal right you know there's little goals on the way like making it to the nba was a little goal but prior to making it it was always i'd love to win an nba championship because that's the pinnacle of your existence as a player right so in these moments where are you in terms of the hurricane? Right? If the hurricane is the moment Right? If the hurricane is this approaching thing Right?

Are you Very fewer at the eye Very fewer at the eye of the storm And I'm not saying I would be Who's an eye guy? Who's an eye guy? Steph is kind of an eye guy maybe Steph is an eye guy

Even though maybe that's revisionist history Kobe's an eye guy Kobe's an eye guy Michael was an eye guy More than anybody revisionist history kobe's an eye guy kobe's an eye guy michael was an eye guy more than anybody in history in our lifetimes those are the eye guys larry bird seemed like an eye guy larry bird eye guy magic eye guy so and then what can you prepare your child to be an eye guy can you prepare the tiger woods book i should just give it to you it's just great This is the one where he's trying. Yeah,

that's what his dad did. He prepared him his entire life to be an eye guy. And? It worked. How? I mean, he was like horrendous.

Like, as Tiger was on his backswing, he would like heckle him, like call him the N-word. Like, you are unflappable. I'm going to make it to where nothing

distracts you from winning. You are going to be the toughest son of a bitch on earth. And then they had a word. He was like, if you ever say enough, I'll stop. Tiger never said enough.

Tiger refused to ever say to his dad enough. His dad would just get meaner and meaner and meaner. Crueler and crueler and crueler. And he said to his tiger, look, if you ever want me to stop. Stupid ass wife thought that her little nagging

with a golf club was going to do shit. Just chasing with a golf club. You think I'm going to say enough now, bitch? Bitch, you think a little four iron is going to stop me, bitch? Bitch, I got a navigator. I'm driving a navigator. Work on your back swing, bitch.

Bitch, we can send you back to Norway. I can't send my dad away from being my dad. Alright, bitch. You ain't doing nothing. But that's an interesting thing so you think it's possible to build the constitution of

an eye at a hurricane yeah I think so I mean it doesn't always work and I remember we asked Roy Jones Jr. about that and he was like look I was I think what he said was

I was tough enough to handle that not a lot of kids are he said Joe Jackson got treated no he said Tito got treated the same as Mike but he didn't become Mike yeah and and then he said likeito got treated the same as Mike. But he didn't become Mike.

And then he said like certain guys just weren't treated that hard. And then they ended up getting there anyway. Yeah. Yeah, it's a tough thing. And I think he felt like he didn't need to be treated that way. Yes, I think that was his way of saying I would have rather like a cool relationship with my pops. And Tiger probably would have been great regardless. But I do think that was like an extra. Yeah, from what I've read in this book,

that was an extra, like he is unflappable in big moments because it's like you cannot do worse to me than what's already been done. I have to lean into those moments, I've noticed. It's a choice I have to make. Interesting. Like I have to turn the nerves to excitement.

I have to, yeah. And then I can lock in but it's it is a decision because i can be watching a fight that i'm not you know that i'm not in obviously i'm just invested in the fighters and i can be like so on my anxiety nerves etc right and then but then there can be a moment like with like doing rogan which was like to me the biggest thing right and i mean alex what would you say i would say i was pretty locked in yeah i remember before i actually were nervous and shit like you kind of seemed like you were just in the zone yeah i felt in the eye i i feel uh the seizure moment was another one like yeah you were kind of like oh shit shit, what's going on?

You were concerned with the girl. You were there. Yeah. And then something just clicked and you're like, oh shit, no one's on stage? That's interesting. You know what? That music just started playing in your head and it was like. I was in the eye.

Yeah. No, that is interesting. That shit was amazing. Not to suck your dick, but that shit was amazing. Bro, but no. But you know what? There's an interesting thing about it, which is, like, maybe I'm more anxious with other people's stuff. Like, I would be more anxious.

Like, let's say you're taping your special. Yeah. I would be more anxious for you because I couldn't control. Right, right, right. The environment. Yeah. And I wonder, like, with children. But with me, if it's for me, like, the what's Yeah And I wonder like With children Like but with me

If it's for me Like the What's it called thing? The seizure The seizure shit It was so interesting I wasn't nervous It felt like the right thing to do

Right And it was the eye And there was a hurricane going on And that shit could have went Horribly Horrible But it just felt right Maybe that's it

Maybe Yeah maybe when like But it just felt right Maybe that's it Maybe Yeah maybe when like Things are meant for you to do You just do them But it is so nerve wracking When someone else is doing them Because you're invested in that person Like I'm gonna want you to do great

But I can't do great for you The more people are nervous for me The more nervous I get The more I hate it I'm like yo I just wanna be in a room by myself. I don't want... Right. Because I'm dealing with my nerves. I also think people can

get closer to center. I think some people can't, but I think Kobe early on wanted to be an eye guy, wasn't quite an eye guy. I remember he airballed two shots against the Jazz in the playoffs or something like that. But then as you get more used to it, you're like, oh, this is the hurricane. I want to be at the center.

I'll get there. This is the center. Everything's fine. I've been here before. Build towards it. Yeah. I think a lot of it is kind of boring. But yeah, I always notice when people are nervous for me, I'm like, oh, stop.

I don't want that. Yeah, it's too much pressure. Let me deal with this. That's why it's often you don't want, at least for me, my parents or close friends at shows. Hate them at shows. Because it's like, I know that this, I know you're concerned for me, like my parents or like close friends at shows. Hate them at shows. Because it's like, I know that this, I know you're concerned for me.

Yes. And I don't want that. And I don't want that. And I'm not calm, like the storm guy, whatever, but I know the worst thing for me is when everybody else

gives a fuck. Then I'm like, yo, I don't need that. I'll handle this. Because I got this and then if something happens, I'm okay with that. Yeah. But I'm also like creating this environment i'm not gonna say i'm okay with it but like i extra don't want now you're let down now i'm like oh fuck here we go yes you came you don't understand the dynamic

that's happening here like you don't understand like yes i know this joke does that and it happens 50 of the time and i'm working on making it happen zero percent but right now it's a 50 50 right you're just like oh boy that joke really doesn't work it's like you don't get it just yet you know yeah that's interesting it's fascinating like it's it's something that can be built and what a tricky thing with being a parent like i bet there's people listening right now that you have kids and like you're making these tough decisions on how to raise them and it's like how far do you push your kid to prepare him for the eye like is it worth sacrificing your relationship with your kid i think no emphatic no right because we can't matter of fact you said this to me we're talking about the mom's relationship with the son versus the dad's right and you're like i think that with any kid i think

the dad's relationship is more important right until a certain age i think dad's like is like meaningless until like in like until you're like 13 i think yeah in terms of how you turn out as a man or woman yeah i think it's more important your relationship with your dad that has a bigger impact on it yes for both male and females i think so yeah but especially as you get older because it's uncon it's not unconditional. Your mother's love is unconditional, and we know that, and we take advantage of unconditional. Your mom will forgive you for whatever you do.

Yeah, and I think to that— You never see a dad pick up their kid in jail, right? You watch all those jail shows. It's never the dad like, ah, so great to see you, Todd. It's the mom, right? Yeah. Like how often does the dad just go you're cut off you're out of this family

you're dead because we're more objective right the baby doesn't come out of us yeah you know but that motherly love which is valuable

it's so important right you know this is this is oh shit yeah I didn't see that this was a good debate because I'm more leaning

towards the side of pushing them like pushing them even right even risking the relationship so fucking up because look all right me as an adult now yep if my dad pushed me to be great i can appreciate it now well our relationship might have been fucked up but i think as an adult right in retrospect i'd be like yo i see what you were doing i didn't get it in the moment But if you don't push them

You never know Their full potential Right Like I think part of the reason Why you're so good Is like you talk about How your parents Pushed you to be confident

And they always wanted to hear What you had to say Yeah but they didn't push me They were so They coddled No but I mean like They were encouraging Right

Right right They're involved So it's like now You're in During a profession Where you talk all the time me they were so they caught i mean like they were encouraging right right right they're very involved so it's like now you're in during a profession where you talk all the time right and so it's like you they curated that 100 without even knowing they built that they said they plan to see i'm gonna probably push as much as i could i will because you know if you have a jordan or serena williams or something like that's like, at the end of the day, they're gonna, they all have good relationships with their parents as they got older. It might have been rough.

It's a risk. Yeah, it's a risk. Tiger was fucked with his dad. Roy Jones seemed fucked with his dad. Yeah, no, there are people where it doesn't work. Jordan didn't seem like he got pushed a ton. So that's the thing. I think in some of us, I think I have a relentless competitiveness, right?

Yeah, I think it has to be in you and i think that you're born with that i think some people are born that some aren't but i think that if you're not you can push yeah and get manifest it like get his clothes like you know some people are have natural like ability athletic ability and then some people got to work for it but oftentimes the people who work for it end up being more effective right yeah like tim duncan was not the most athletic right player but he got the fundamentals down in the game he was one of the most right you know effective guys etc it's just an interesting balance it's like how much of your relationship with your kid will you sacrifice so that they can be safe in the

world and succeed in the world because whoa yeah because about it. Tiger moms, not to be stereotypical, but Asians are fucking killing it. Ask Indians. Asians are killing it in America, and their parents don't accept anything less than an A. Well, ask. So, Akash. Well, yeah. Hold on.

What's this? It's John Morant signing a deal with Nike. But go on. I don't. Well, here's what I was going to bring up. I don't know if this seems like it applies, but I do think it applies. I always remember this study that said

that parents that praise their kids for achievement, those kids don't do as well as the parents who praise their kids for hard work. Like if the parents are always like, yo, you work so hard, man. Great for you. You work so hard. Great for you.

Those kids tend to do better than the ones who were like oh you got straight a's oh you got this first place trophy oh you got this that's interesting and i was always rewarded for hard work and i'm not regardless of outcome yeah and i'm not naturally the academic achievement kid i wasn't but it's like okay fine well i can't fucking outwork all of you let's go like you won't stop me from working and that's the thing i feel good about internally when i'm working hard because it's something oh that's it you have to i mean look at all of us none of us have kids we're talking about parenting but you have to reward something that is in their control. They cannot control outcome. If you're saying that your kid played horribly because he didn't win, right?

It's not rewarding losing, but if he played hard because he didn't win, his whole life will be based on this structure of win and lose. And often he might avoid the big challenges because those challenges come with potential loss. Right. But if hard work is what is rewarded, a relentless attitude will be applied to whatever you do because you understand that is the key to success. And then you won't be afraid of those big challenges because when you don't achieve them, you go, well, I guess I got to work a little harder. Yeah. There's always more that can be done. And watching like I got little brothers, little sisters, whatever.

My little cousin, he's two years younger than me, but he like runs marathons. He finishes like at a pretty good clip. He's a fast runner. But the thing I always am impressed by, and I'm saying it'll probably be easier to praise your kids for this, is like his discipline is insane. Every macronutrient that he eats before the race is measured out perfectly he run you know like it's incredibly disciplined and that's what I'm always like yo man fuck that's the thing I marvel at and I assume when I have kids if my kid is not really working hard and getting straight A's I'm gonna be impressed but I'm gonna be proud of my kid when I see him busting his ass even if he gets

a B or two I'm gonna be like yo I saw you put in work and I promise that will pay off I'm proud of my kid when I see him busting his ass even if he gets a B or two. I'm going to be like, yo, I saw you put in work and I promise that will pay off. I'm proud of that. I'm impressed by straight A's if you don't work. I might have a genius, but I'm proud of the hard work. That's the thing that's easier for me to praise just off pride. Good for you, man. No clue how hard the test

is, what the competition is. It's a stupid thing to reward. It's just the A's. But what if he's working super hard for a D? Hey, man, maybe this is not for you, but you keep working, something will work out. This is the beauty of America. That work ethic applied to some other shit will be an A in the other shit.

This is the privilege of America, and I'm not even saying this in a condescending way. I'm saying this is how we're blessed. If you work your ass off, you might not be super rich, but you will be okay. You will be fine. You will be comfortable. You could hit middle be super rich, but you will be okay. You will be fine. You will be comfortable. You could hit middle here. Yeah, but devil's advocate, what if you're teaching your kid to be okay with failing?

It's like, oh, I worked hard. I want my kid. Real talk, I encourage my kids to fail. Yes. If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. No, no, no. Accepting failure. No, no, no.

That's the other tricky thing. He makes an interesting point. The idea of accepting failure. That's something you've got to navigate. That's hard enough. Accepting failure. No, no, no. That's the other tricky thing, right? He makes an interesting point. The idea of accepting failure. That's something you've got to navigate. That's something you've got to balance, right? It's like you shouldn't want to fail. And you shouldn't be okay. Right?

It is. Yeah, yeah. It's tricky. You understand what he's saying, right? I do. In my mind, the thing I think I try to say to, and again, kids are different than little brothers, sisters, whatever, but like little cousins, I'm like, yo, there's no failure. There are learning experiences. Learn from this. Yes. the thing I think I try to say to and again kids are different than little brothers sisters whatever but like little cousins

I'm like yo there's no failure there are learning experiences learn from this yes learn from this what you can move forward

and now if you keep failing at this thing we really need to re-examine some shit right but like this is not it's okay to fail

as long as you learn something yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm not we're not proud of failure yeah right we're not proud of failure Yeah Right

We're not like patting you on the back For failure Right But there are ways to fail That are better than others Yeah Right And when you've

Done all the work If you prepared the best You possibly could prepare Yeah And you still don't get the grade That you want on that test You can't be too upset. Yeah.

What can we do differently? We'll find different ways. Yeah. But we did everything we thought we could do. Yeah. Now you just learn. That's what this was. And then we learn from this.

Yeah. I think that's it. Yeah. So now when you apply that to sports, all right, they're in the gym shooting. They're just not gifted. That's going to happen. So now they just keep going because you have rewarded their hard work so it's like it's like a it's like a soundcloud rapper now no we

problem solve right you go like this this is what i i mean this is what i do like listen you can always work on shit and get better but it's like we problem solve what am i working with what do i have us what do you oh you can't shoot for shit all right that's fine can you play d can you rebound what parts of the game shit can you coach are you good good are you a good teammate are you good at filling up space you're good at working off the ball can you pass well but now you're like kind of redirecting what they want to do instead of just encouraging them you got we got to be honest with who we are. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm going to tell my kid he can do anything he wants, right?

But you got to go for it. And if you ain't going to go for it, I'm not the one to force you to do a sport. You got to play a sport because you love it. What I'm trying to say is you find a way to be effective in the game. That's what I would always try to do. I find a way to be effective. We're never raised you can do anything you want.

That's not it, General Eastern. You can do anything you want if's not it You can do anything you want You want to be a doctor Or an engineer or an MBA That's what you want Yeah that's what we want No it's a good This is a western thing you can do whatever you want

Yo Andrew go have a kid And let's try this out Who had a kid? His hemorrhoid Oh god Scared me and let's try this out who had a kid? his hemorrhoid scared me yeah man I don't know we'll figure it out when I have some kids we'll have another discussion about this and we'll see how we are

I might be a complete softie to be honest with you I'm concerned I'm going to be a softie I'm going to have to put hard shit on my wife oh 100% yo kids get away with everything with me with you. I'm concerned I'm going to be a softie and I'm going to have to put hard shit on my wife. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Kids get away with everything with me. What do you mean? If you guys are already thinking you're going to be the softie. Of course, if I got a

fucking daughter. That's on wifey. 100%. What if I got a daughter and she got a mustache and her dad got to tell her guys think that's gross? Son. I got to tell my wife to do that right like yo watch your mustache you little monster it was gonna be so hairless

you know what i mean you could barely even grow a mustache so like you're fine she might have a hairy ass she might have a crate a wild hairy ass oh my god she might have a wolf ass but you're not gonna know i'm gonna have to have my wife do all that shit you're gonna have to tell her everything i'll tell my son shit i'll tell him what's up I'm going to have to have my wife do all that shit. You're going to have to tell her everything. I'll tell my son shit. I'll tell him what's up. I'm stepping to the plate for all that. Really? With a daughter? I can be tough on a son.

Because I hate that when parents or anybody, adults, speak to kids with that kid voice. The da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, yeah. I hate that shit. I've been doing that the most. I enjoy it. That shit's fun for me. When I'm around babies, kids, I speak to them straight up like an adult.

Right. And I think they respect that more. You look right at the belly and you go you gonna die in there all right this has been an episode of play guys damn we ain't even get through four episodes uh what's it called yo man some shows coming up man that's why you so heartlessless, man. Can you throw these in the beginning? Matter of fact, I'll give some shows

and you guys can put them in the beginning. But listen, this has been another episode of Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets analysis by assholes. Water cooler commentary for your sports needs.

Thank y'all so much for listening. Patreon, we're going to see you Friday. I might show you my hemorrhoid. I might not. We're going to see. You know, I'm going to see how generous I feel.

But, I know it's bad. It's bad. It's super bad. Maybe I'll do like a really zoomed in version so no one really knows what it is. We'll figure it out. Anyway, man, we fuck with y'all so much. Thank you for spreading the word.

Thank you for growing this podcast. It's amazing what we've been able to accomplish. We will speak to you very soon. Go out there. Be great. Get your steak done medium. Maybe medium rare. I don't go medium.

Wash your legs. You know what I mean? Stay at Black Air B&Bsbs use up all their cocoa butter it is what it is it's been flagrant too peace