Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Shane Gillis Replaces Trevor Noah As Daily Show Host

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

00:00 - Fifa, + Shane awkwardness 07:40 - Gillie and Keeves 22:41 - Exclusive sketch from Gillie and Keeves 36:00 - Giving Francis Ellis a second chance 39:19 - Bud Lights turn up 54:42 - Kensington is worse than Skidrow 01:05:14 - Shane doesn’t drink before a show… sometimes 01:13:50 - Shane being friends with Nate Diaz + gambling 01:28:49 - Shane hates compliments

What's up, everybody, and welcome to Flagrant. Today, we are joined by, and we're going to be the first ones in the world to say it, absolutely huge news. We have the new host of The Daily Show. Give it up, everybody. Give it up for Tim. Hey. I knew I'd be back, dude.

Dude, they couldn't keep you down, bro. Congratulations, bro. Thank you, guys. Yeah, that's big. This is unbelievable. Yeah, I didn't think they would do it, but. This is so unbelievable. The woke mob, dude, finally beat him. Yeah, that's big. This is on. Yeah, I didn't think they would do it but this is so unbelievable Yeah, the woke mob dude finally beat him Fucking cancel culture. Haha. Yeah

What are your plans for the new show, you know, um, geez I don't know. What would I do with The Daily Show? I'd probably make fun of the Dems. It's time for the Dems to get a knuckle sandwich. You know what I mean? Talk about the Vax. The truth about the vaccine.

What a mistake, dude. What a mistake. Why did we all do that? Huge. Did you get boosted? No. Yeah, dude. I'm not getting boosted. Who would do that? You that? Huge. Did you get boosted? No. Yeah, dude. I'm not getting boosted.

Who would do that? You guys got boosted? You got boosted? Who would get a booster, bro? You got boosted? No. What do you mean? I got boosted.

That is the worst where you go with your friends. I didn't get a booster, dude. When I got home to my conservative friends, they're like, you got the fucking Vax. I mean your friends.

Yeah. True. True. My real friends. She had a black nephew. Oh, shit. Let's go. Where friend. Yeah. Yeah, true. True. My real friend. She had a black nephew. Oh, that's it. Let's go.

Come on, Al. Adopted? Yeah. Obviously, yes. What did you just say about my sister? What did you just accuse my sister? When you go home?

Yeah, it's just embarrassing to be like, yeah, I did get the Vax. Yeah, you can't do it. Listen, I'm stoked for you. The Daily Show, I think good things will home. Yeah, it's just embarrassing to be like, yeah, I did get the Vax. Yeah, you can't do it. Listen, I'm stoked for you, The Daily Show. I think good things will happen. Obviously, we just played FIFA. You're feeling pretty good about yourself.

I'm actually still uncomfortable from that. Why? I had adrenaline going during that. Really? Yeah, I couldn't lose in front of your fucking, the bros in here actively cheering for you. Come on, Andrew. They were cheering for you, asshole. Andrew, come on!

And you had a comment about every team. Hey, Andrew! Oh, shoot, we lost, Andrew. And then what happened when you were changing up your team and you were doing all those things? I made subs. Oh, you made subs, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't pick the best team in the game.

You took it really serious. I had to make subs. Oh, is that an excuse? No, an excuse for winning? Nobody cares about excuses. you're winning psg is not good i thought psg was really fucking no i didn't pick psg stop it why would you lie now why would you lie now you guys are you on andrew's sides you liar i'm a neutral guy that's a huge accusation bro he lied he knows i was man you what do you mean man you yeah you were psg what's happening he was man you. What do you mean? Man you? You were PSG. What was happening? He was man you.

I was Manchester United. Can we not play a game here where we add ice to him a little bit? This is flavor. Why are these guys supporting you so much? You've guilted them all into supporting you? That's what this is? No. They were happy to see you lose.

Jesus, oh, my life is so hard. They were happy to see you lose, dude. Yeah, they were happy to see you with your victim culture. All you do, come in here. Oh, I'm vaccinated. It's so hard going to my conservative family. Oh, my family's so conservative. No, my family is not that conservative.

Lean back, dude. Fucking A. I'm here. Now I'm definitely leaning forward. Are you leaning in? Is that what's happening? I'm not going to lean back now. Listen, listen, Shane.

We played a spirited game. You won. I'll give you that. Yeah, you seem like you're taking it well. Yeah, I am. What was that, sarcasm? You seem loud about it. What is that, sarcasm right there?

Every time I come on this fucking thing. Yeah. Actually, this is funny for a change. Now, this one you got. Do something entertaining about this one. Every time I come on this fucking thing. Yeah. Actually, this is funny for a change. No, no, no. This one, this one you got it. There's something entertaining about this one. Every time I come on this fucking thing.

I sat back because I wanted to, by the way. Okay, good. You know what's good is we're not the 40th podcast in a row you're doing, so we're getting

high energy change. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That really sucked, dude. Yeah, it was a bad episode. And it was every, you guys, you guys didn't, but I was doing

that podcast thing and every podcast was like so SNL I would sit down and they'd be like yeah I think it probably helped you yeah yeah yeah

go yeah alright yeah well thank you for giving us the energy for the question we didn't ask no I'm excited about it yeah yeah excited about SNL

what's your fucking problem dude excited about SNL you had a bad attitude when I called you today you were grumpy when I called you. Yeah, I did have a bad attitude. Why were you being grumpy? Because you faked the whole I don't know what's going on thing.

I did. And I'm like, oh, you did. You called me the day of the pod. You're like, oh, yeah, we had that today? I said, oh, shit, are we doing the pod today? How often do you call me? And I wanted to call you. I wanted to talk to you.

Yeah, right before the pod? Yeah, I wanted to say, oh, shit. You weren't being fake. What are you talking about? I don't know context. What's happening? He called me today, and he was doing the pot? Yeah, I was like, oh shit. You weren't being fake. What are you talking about? I don't know context. What's happening? He called me today and he was doing the whole like, oh, I don't know what's going on.

And he goes, oh, I'm so crazy. I drink beer. I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's happening in the world. I'm such a shlap. He doesn't trust anything ever. I'm a genius comedian, but I'm a slap. Like, it is what it is.

This is the most insane shit, dude. No, it's okay, it's okay. I called him to be like... That's your outfit. You know, Judah used to wear the outfit every night? That's your outfit.

You know what I mean? Like, no, not fit. Come on, MetaForce. Come on, Shane. Look, so you called me. Well, I'm confused as fuck, dude. I thought we were friends. You called me.

Yeah, yeah, but you don't call me in the a.m. You called me at 11 a.m. And you're like, hey, what's up, bro? And I'm like, what's up, bro? And then I'm like, I'm like. I was like, are we doing the podcast today? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You said yeah? No, no, you said oh. After you called me, you're like, oh, yeah. Are we doing the pod today? And I was like, yeah. And you're like. Oh, no, that's, yeah, that's on you. Oh, yeah, that's.

No, I didn't, no. Don't say oh, just say yo. No, I literally called and said, are we doing the podcast? I didn't say, what's up, dude? No, I said, what's up, you fucking hoe ass. That's what's up dude no i said what's up you fucking hoe ass that's what i said and then you didn't respond with the same energy you're like what's up i was like all right i was pushing that's crazy i told you i was pooping you did admit that okay but that was you were like oh yeah we got the pod today i said oh yeah the pod and i was like don't do this yeah because that's the only reason you called yeah i wanted to call to

make sure that we were doing just say hey just confirm just say, hey, just confirm. I said, hey, what's up, you fucking bitch? Are we doing the podcast today? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Seems decent. What's insane about this? No, no, no, no. You little fucking bitch. Hey, hey, hey.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm the owner of the truth. Yo, you guys do anything, step in here. I love this shit. Step in here. This is too much fun. I didn't call you, bro. Yeah, maybe don do anything, step in here. I love this shit. Step in here. Divide and conquer. Yeah, maybe don't rub my fucking head

before a podcast and then shit on the Indian audience at FIFA. You got a son, Bofie. Yeah, what is up with that? You guys let it happen. Passive outfit. You guys let it happen. You rubbed the back of my fucking head.

You got a nice head. What's wrong with that? You got a nice head. Yeah. What was it like feeling hair on the back? I have hair all over the back, dude. Don't get defensive. The top's not great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're hanging on, though. I'm just going to let it ride, dude. I'm just going to go bald. I'm not going to shave it. Okay. I'm not going to fix it. Next time, I'm not going to play with an American team when we play.

Okay. Yeah, you were MLS and I was PSG. Yeah. Yeah. And then we'll figure out something with that. Okay, you were MLS and I was PSG. Yeah. Yeah. And then we'll figure out something with that. Okay, listen. So, SNL is... Oh, no.

Okay. Listen, Shane... What the fuck are you looking at, dude? What? Staring at me, dude. Who do you want me to look at, dog do you want me to look at you want me to look at Alex

I look at this motherfucker every week twice a week you're the guest I took a sip I look up you're the guest I'm just fucking

like what the fuck dude alright we're ignoring Shane you guys talk Gillian Keyes is coming out actually

Gillian Keyes is coming out can you shut the fuck up so I can introduce your thing Gill Keeves is coming out. Yes. Gilly and Keeves is coming out. Can you shut the fuck up for a second so I can introduce your thing? Gilly and Keeves is coming out, okay? They have a live special, and they're going to sell it through the website. What's the website? GillyandKeeves.tv.

GillyandKeeves.tv. It's so different. What, is Gilly and Keeves staking? Yeah. Dot com? I don't fucking, I didn't set the fucking website up, dude. I don't know one thing about this.

Yeah, I hate when you do this. What? Because you do care. Of course I care. And then you play the thing that you don't care. And it drives me fucking crazy. That was the energy of tonight.

Oh my God. I didn't set the website up. Who did? I said, I don't know. You didn't have any part in it? No. I said, make this't know. You didn't have any part in it? No. I said, make this show available. I believe him, B.

I believe him. I hate how supportive. I'm telling the truth, B. You supported him, and he immediately made fun of you, and that should be the punishment that you get. It's from Half-Baked. It's a comedy movie. I'm leaving.

Why are you so mad at Sharon? Why are you so mad? Why are we so mad, dude? I think that before the last time he came on, he was so bad. Sharon? Why are we so mad? Why are we so mad? I think that before the last time he came on and he was so bad, it was because I was so complimentary.

And also, if we're really going to analyze it, he's going to be good at entertaining the worse I try to make him feel. Oh, okay.

You know what I mean? So right now, he's got his energy up. The fact that I explained it, now he's just going to deflate into a fucking bulldog like he was last podcast. He just sat there

licking his lips for fucking two hours. But if I rip him enough and bully him enough, then I think that we can get good energy. GillianMotherfuckingKeys.tv. You can watch it on not TV. You can watch it on the internet. It's only $10. Our special, Sketches, also live portion where they're like in front of a live crowd.

I've watched a few of them. Amazing. It's not sketches. Sorry, I don't want to compliment too much, but it's not sketches that are like cheaply shot. There's a fucking airplane in the first one. That's all put out there. So you're getting a bargain for your money.

Go support that. When is it out? I think today when the show comes out. Yeah, 8 p.m. I fucking love it. We're all supporting. We're going to do it. I love that you did that.

How much did it cost to make? Like $270,000. Wow. Yeah, it was a lot. Let's fucking go. We'll see. Let's fucking go. Also, I don't want

to compliment you. Okay. But we wouldn't have, you were very, very crucial in doing doing any of it that's not that is not true it is we were they were not going to do it or not that they were not going to do it but they needed some prodding okay and i was like let's talk to schultz and hold tell you guys i we got on the phone with schultz and he was like you guys got

to do it what do you guys why are you not doing it it's the same story you told in austin it was you telling them and then being like i eh, I don't know. And then you calling Schultz and Schultz being like, you gotta do this. And everybody's like, hey, I think this is a good idea. That did hurt. The guys on making the show, they were like, dude, I don't know. I was like, Schultz,

please talk to these guys. As soon as they got on the phone with him, they were like, yeah, I guess that is a genius idea. Motherfucker. I do this every week with my therapist and my wife. I try to explain something to her, and then when we talk to the therapist. You guys both see a therapist together? Together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On Zoom.

Couples therapy. On Zoom. How's that going? It's fucking amazing. Really? You guys should do it. I think you'd be great at therapy. Just sitting there going, hmm. I tried therapy. I hated it, dude.

What do you mean? I went to a therapist for like three months. Oh, is that how you tried it? And he was like, and he was, all he did was try to get me to hate my dad. I was like, for real, the whole time I was like, no, I genuinely, I like my dad. He was like, did he hit you? I was like, yeah. But he should have. Like, I kept being like, no, he's the man.

Bro, that is true. Therapy is your parents fucked you up. Yeah. Therapy is you're not accountable for anything. Your parents did bad. Yeah. Yeah. And the whole time, I was like, no, this is me.

Yeah. For sure. That's why you got to go to a psychologist. Apparently, there's a difference. Well, psychiatrists and psychologists.. Well, psychiatrist and psychologist, right? What are the differences? There's three. Isn't one from prescribed?

They're all therapists. What's the difference? Yeah, psychiatrist is medication. I think a therapist doesn't have to be a PhD. That's true. Yeah. Come on, bro. Come on, come on, come on.

But I don't want somebody to be a PhD. I do. I want someone with street smarts for you. You know what I mean? Like been through like what you've gone through. A life coach. Just some dude from Buffalo. Yeah.

That sounds sick. Can you come drink with us? You ever stressed and want to jump on a table, bro? Like, just do it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm in Buffalo this weekend. Oh, really?

I might go. I'm going to go to the game. Hell yeah, go to the game. It'd be fun. Hell yeah, go to the game. I don't think I could do the... I'm not jumping. Come on, why not?

I would destroy, shatter a leg. You're going to need a few of those tables, yeah. There's some big guys in Buffalo, you cocksucker. Whoa, dude. Whoa. You know what you were doing. Listen, listen. I noticed the little piece of the sketch that you put out to first promote that, like,

somebody's been working on their arms bare minimum. Oh, thanks, man. Some of them's in a gym. This guy's an athlete, though. No, you'll see. I watched your fucking Getting Back in Shape series that you just put on YouTube. That's Stavros. Oh, that was Stavros?

Yeah. I thought it was like, I'm getting back in shape. This is more mean to Stav. We're using Stav as an insult to people. That's a nasty thing to do to your friend.

The YouTube title is called Stavvy Baby Gets Back into Shape. Yeah, yeah. And then I thought you were getting in shape. No, no, no. It's a different comic. I'm not getting in shape, dude. And then I saw the video and your arms were so buff, dude. Dude, I hate this.

Dude, I saw the video and your arms were so buff. KillingKeeves.tv, dude. 10 p.m. You know how often I get mistaken for every other brown comic? Watching it happen to white people, it's so buff. Killian Keeves. Dot TV, dude. 10 p.m. This is so good. You know how often I get mistaken for every other brown comic? Watching it happen to white people. It's so fun. I've never been mistaken for fun. I see why they do it to me.

I see why people do it to me. It's so fun. Dude, it's so hard, bro. Your life. I've never been mistaken for something. Dude, your life is so hard, bro. Come on, man. Come on, man.

What the fuck is this? This is how we got it. This is the energy. This is what we did. This is terrible energy. Last time we sat here, we were like, here like you're such a prolific genius comic and then you just you just what your your brow furrowed That was good, why are you not good at receiving compliments and that's your dad maybe That was good. Why are you not good at receiving compliments? You think that's your dad, maybe? It's true.

I guess he didn't really compliment me. Why not? Why not? I don't know. You fucking did great. No, I didn't give him. Now he likes me. But not when you got to Notre Dame? I didn't go to Notre Dame.

To West Point? Maybe. No, he was excited for that. But then I quit right away. And then what did he say to you? And he was like, you fucking pussy. Really? Yeah.

But did you tell him that you were just knocking box the whole time? No, I wasn't. I wasn't having any sex. Were you queer until you left West Point? I think sex at West Point. That's what you came up with? I mean, that was tough improv. I'll give you that.

That was the good line right there. That is a good line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but what about you guys? What's going on with you? Yeah, it's hard driving a pot, huh? What about you guys? It's hard, huh?

What have you guys been up to? Bro, Shane actually has been working out, dude. This is fucking crazy. Let's see it. Hold on. That's crazy. Oh, my God. You look good.

Is this from West Point? That actually is. You guys, and I, you know what? That's his rival Oh my god. You look good. Is this from West Point? That actually is. You guys, and I, you know what? That's his rival's profile picture. Shane, Shane, can we click the video? I just want to hear the sound. I just want to hear the sound. It's in Sioux. Nah, you look great, dawg. Congrats. I don't think that's funny. Yeah, I see that. I see why. I's funny. But, yeah, I see that.

I see why. I see why. Like, you don't get it, you mean? Yeah. But that's not me, so I don't understand it. Yeah, yeah. I don't get the joke. What do you say?

Yeah, it's okay, dude. It's okay. I notice when you get frustrated, you often, like, lean forward and do, like, this. Like, what is, Where did that come from? How many chromosomes? What is the deal with that? How does that? What's the question?

You're being a bully, dude. He's the young bull. He's the young bull. Look, I'm... Listen. Hey, have your fun, dude young bull. Have your fun, dude. Have your fun. You wanted to start a FIFA. I'm riled the fuck up.

You thought it was over? You thought I was filling you? Shane is a munch, bro. Yo, you're a munch, Shane. Be honest, bro. What's munch? What's that? You don't know about ice spice, bro? No.

I'm 34. You're only 34. Wait, how? I'm 34. How old are you guys? Say what? 38, dude. Oh, wow. 38, dude.

Damn. Yeah. I look older. Yes. I don't think you do. You guys act the only shit, though. You guys. What are you guys?

18? Yo, son. You're fucking my child, dude. You know what I mean? Come on, bro. Come on, Shane. Dude, I was watching your TikTok account. That shit.

What's that? Which one? That's better. Yeah. That was better. The Gillian Keys? That shit. What's that? Which one? That's better. Yeah. The Gillian Keys? No, your personal TikTok. I don't think, I swear to God,

I don't have one. Also, you sounded 38 when you said that. That was great. Yeah, your TikTok account is also your account. Your account on TikTok. I swear to God,

I don't. Maybe somebody's doing an account with you on TikTok. What is it? What are those fuckers doing? It's fucking hilarious. Is he doing moves? You're doing dance moves. Are you trying to find a guy with Down syndrome doing TikTok? Is you on TikTok. What is it? What are those fuckers doing? It's fucking hilarious. Is somebody doing moves? It's you doing dance moves.

Are you trying to find a guy with Down syndrome doing TikTok? Is that what you're trying to do? I didn't say that at all. I said search it. Search it. It is going to be good. GillianKeyes.tv, dude. Yeah, there's going to be a lot.

There's going to be a lot to go through here. Down syndrome dudes love TikTok. My guy's nice, dude. By the way, these guys are awesome. They're having fun. For you guys to sit here and be like, let's bring it up and mock them.

That's fucked up, dude. That's a dude. By using them as an insult using we're using you so you're insulting them by saying i look like them or you're insulting me by saying i look like this is you back in your victim thing no no i'm not being a victim i'm saying the jokes you're you're doing is not it's not like it's not pc that's not cool you know it's really triggering you're making fun of these guys, these Down syndrome dudes putting out TikTok videos.

You're punching Dan. I'm sorry. I'm actually sorry. No, no, but go back to analyzing fun. Yeah. That sounds great. Dude, with people like Shane, you have to go into their interests.

You have to ask them about the things that they're fixing. All right, who's the 34th president? You want to know? No, I don't know. That's a lie. I'd have to count them. It'd be tough.

I'll tell you who 46 is. 46, go. Donald Trump. The king is back. You think he's coming back? You think he's going to win? I don't think he's even running. You've been saying this forever and I don't believe you.

If they keep talking shit on him, he's going to run. You don't think there's a fear of losing which is going to stop him? I don't think so. If he runs against Biden, he'll win. They can't run Biden. Can he beat DeSantis in the primary? That's the question. DeSantis probably won't run if Trump runs. Ooh, I don't know. Because Trump will end a career in the

primary. If Trump says, fuck DeSantis, all of his people are going to be like, yeah, fuck DeSantis. But DeSantis is winning in his state between the two of them. In Florida, yeah. But again, if Trump goes out and says- He's going to start clowning him. Yeah. If he does, then DeSantis won't run. I think that, yeah, I think DeSantis won't run. Because then he can win next time.

Exactly. It's smarter than being Vice. But I was talking to this kid who said a really interesting thing. He was like, you run when you have heat. Like, I remember when Obama ran. Yeah, people thought it was too early. I was like, why would he do it? We just found out who he is. But the longer

you stay in office, the more shit you have on you, you know what I mean? That you can bring up. I think this is the time for DeSantis to go. Remember when we thought Chris Christie was like, we liked him after that hurricane? He brought up Chris Christie, actually. People were like, yo, he should run, and then he didn't, and he waited, and we're all like,

oh, fuck this guy. He sucks. And then Trump buried him. And then he was standing behind Trump he waited, and we're all like, oh, fuck this guy. Yeah. He sucks. And then Trump buried him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he was standing behind Trump like— God, that was embarrassing. Just do what? How embarrassing? And then Trump was like, go, you can leave.

And he actually left, and he walked off the stage and said, you're good. And he left. You were really studying those things closely, those Trump news conferences, huh? Yeah, hell yeah. They were fun. Now, that is— I watched every one. I'm not going to lie.

That is one regret. I wish that we went and saw a rally, a Trump rally. Yeah, me too. Never been to one. Why did you wink? Hey. Feels like you're trying to communicate in another way. No, I did not go.

My bros went, and they said it was a good time. Was it? Yeah. You really never went. I feel like it would be fun. I never went. I would have gone. I feel like you'd be like the feature actor. feel like it would be fun. I never went. I would have gone. I feel like you'd be like the feature actor.

Yeah. It would be fun as shit. You would open up the show. It would be fun to go to. You could actually roast Trump, and Trump would like it. Oh. I don't think so. I don't think he would.

I think that he's really sensitive. He hates being made fun of. I think so. I thought of that, too. I think Shane could get away with it. Because he does a good impression, which, first of all, even if you're sensitive, if somebody does a good impression, you're like, ah, it's fun. Oh, Shane could get away with it. Because he does a good impression, which first of all, even if you're sensitive, if somebody does a good impression,

you're like, ah, it's fun. Oh, there's some flattering? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're not just going to openly shit on them. You know what I mean?

You're like, yo, it just becomes a fun time. on Howard Stern with fucking Artie Lang, they're talking about they did a roast of Trump and Artie was on it.

And he was like, Artie was there, he was great, he was hilarious. And then they were like, he said some mean things about you, right? And he was like, he was the biggest loser out there. Just one clip, he was like Artie was there he was great he was hilarious and then they were like he said some mean things about you right he was like he was the biggest loser out there just one clip he was like I was lying I was trying to be nice he actually ruined the entire one fucking one

sentence yeah I think if you make fun of him he'd probably be mean to you yeah well Whitney roasted him and then said afterward he just shook her hand and said, that was great television. And she like went in. Oh, really? Yeah. So I think he also, he knows the fuck you mean. Yeah. Yeah. He knows the value of it. I know we had a, fuck, we did something and then his son reached out or like tweeted something. His son retweeted one of my videos. Yeah. He's into it. Which one? The one where you were debating? The Trump firefighter. No, the firefighter. It was an old one where a firefighter saves a family and they're interviewing him. They're like, we found this video and he's a Trump supporter.

So the media is like, gets him fired. Right. You know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit they would like. They liked it. They liked it. Nice.

Can we watch the sketch that you let us have? We have a never been seen before sketch from gilliankeves.tv. This is coming out, literally out tonight. Yeah, this is one of the sketches in it. Any setup, or you want to just... It's if Guy Fieri had PTSD. Fire. What's up, gang?

I'm Toby Picterin. And not only am I a military vet, but I'm also a grilled meat connoisseur. I went through hell and back to defend this country. Now I'm traveling all over it to find the best greasy grub. When I was in war, I went through a pretty traumatic experience that left my memory fragmented.

But my taste buds perfectly intact. Whoa. And sure, sometimes. Fuck! Oh, not cool, gang. But I'll never forget these tasty flavors, so join me while I'm trying to remember who I am with some unforgettable food. I am the grill sergeant.

to remember who I am with some unforgettable food. I am the grill sergeant. I'm here at Gerudo's Hot House, where I hear he's got a spicy chicken dish that's hotter than napalm. Let's check it out, gang. Hey, nice pork job, asshole. Hey, I'll beat the fuck out of you. I'll bust your ass, boy.

It's too spicy. You don't fuck with me. Whoa, whoa. What's up, guys? You lost your ass, boy! You don't fuck with me! Whoa! Whoa! What's up, guys? I'm here with Herudo, and this is his world-famous spicy chicken. Herudo, what's your secret to that stuff? I'll tell you what, Toby, it's all about the spices. Ain't that true, brother?

Back in the military, we used to have a saying. Oh, shit! Where's his leg? Ah! He's gone! Whoa! Tell me about these spices, Rudo. Yeah, so we're just gonna slide in some cornstarch right there. That's cornstarch. And then

a little bit of garlic powder, super important. Garlic powder. And then a little bit of cinnamon. Cinnamon? You're crazy, Rudo. It is crazy. It's really gonna make the flavors explode. Oh, man. Because if you do it with a machine, it might be too powdery. It's not going to fry too well.

Okay? You motherfucker! I just love the crunchiness on the outside. Okay. You motherfucker! I just love the crunchiness on the outside. I know what you did, you son of a bitch! What? Juicy chicken on the inside. I'm so sorry!

I don't really like the Chinese shit on the walls. That's why I don't wear my glasses. This chicken is unreal. Jesus Christ! It's okay, he's just having a flashback. You're doing great. Talk a little bit more about the spices and cinnamon. That's a little goofy, huh?

You know what I love about this restaurant? They play loud music in the bathroom. What the fuck, man? Okay. Can you just get back to the chicken! Can you get back to the chicken? Can you get back to the chicken? Wow, that chicken's not half-baked. Whoa!

Hey, Aruna, you can really taste that cinnamon. You want a bag of ice? Yeah, a bag of ice might help. You digged me up pretty good back there, Haruto. Also, the spices get into the wounds pretty bad. That's it for Haruto's spicy chicken. Wow, that stuff had a kick. Coming up next week, we're headed to Denver to check out...

Jesus Christ, are you alright? Yeah, I'm driving around a convertible eating pussy and sandwiches for a living. Fuck you, suck my dick. Fuck you. Fuck is your problem? Yeah. Oh, that's fucking awesome.

Stop. I mean, you guys are fucking great. Yeah. You're fucking great. Thanks, man. I mean that. Thank you. great. Yeah. You're fucking great. Thanks, man. I mean that. Thank you. As much as I want to just bash you right now, you guys are fucking great.

Yeah, that was a good one. That is interesting. When we filmed that, there was old people out in another restaurant. And when we pulled up, everyone was like, oh shit, it's Guy Fieri. And me walking in, I was like, fuck you, motherfucker. And they were all like, oh shit, it's Guy Fieri. And like me walking in, I was like, fuck you, motherfucker. And they were all like, holy shit. Yeah.

It was pretty fun. I mean, okay, a couple things. First of all, you're a very good actor, and I'm curious if you would do dramatic acting. I've never done it. Do you train at all, acting-wise? Did you aspire to do this sketch? Yeah, to do like acting? Sket, to do, like, acting?

Sketches in general, yeah, yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I feel like you might be, like, a really, like, a sneaky, really good actor. Okay, second of all, the edit. The edit. He's so cute. He's so cute. I thought you were going to be, like, low-key.

I think you're a little gay. No, no, no, no, no. Dude, you're not gay at all, dude. No, I'm not gay. You're not. I'm not. I'm not gay. Acting's not gay. Yeah, there's nothing gay about it, dude.

You're not acting. Okay, second of all, the edit. You involved in the edit. No, John's, he's the one that's... He's brilliant, too. Yeah, I mean, it's all that. We'll film sketches where I'm like, this sucks. Is this even funny? This sucks. John's, he's the one that's... He's brilliant, too. Yeah, I mean, it's all that. We'll film sketches where I'm like, this sucks. Is this even funny?

This sucks. And then he'll send me the edit, and I'm like, damn. Yeah. The pacing, like jumping back between the girls. And then I noticed on this one, I don't even know if you did in the old ones as much, but you showed me another one as well. Using the music.

That's John. It's fucking... And we asked him to be here today, but what did he say? He was too fucking busy. No, he has no job. He has a day job. Come on, John. It's fucking... And we asked him to be here today, but what did he say? He was too fucking busy. No, he has a job. He has a day job. Come on, John. Yeah, buy this thing so John can quit.

John. Please. Yeah, this is... We need John to quit. Everybody at home, this is... What is his day job? He is not TV. I doubt he wants me to say.

Isn't he in the... Yeah, he works... He's filmmaking, right? Yeah. Government? Yeah. Yeah, for a company. But no, it's just fucking amazing.

And it's like... I've said this when it first came out. I said it when you guys were originally doing it. I know you fucking hate the compliments, but I just want people at home to... I think it's the best sketch out now. I don't know anything else that I'm seeing that's making me laugh

consistently. Sleep cop. Tim Robinson. Oh, dude, sleep cop is great. Fucking, I think you should leave. Tim Robinson? Really?

Do you remember this? Is it Tim Robinson? Logan Paul recommended this to you. He's like, dude, this show, next up. And he said, I think you should leave. And then he kept on going,

wait, well, what do you mean? Oh, I think you should leave. And then he kept going, why would you say that? We had like a who's on first moment. He was like, I think you should leave. And I'm kept going, why would you say that? We had like a who's on first moment. Like, I think you should leave.

And I'm like, buddy, what's happening right now? Why are you asking me to leave? Are you mad at me? When I saw the ISIS Toyota sketch, I watched it mad late. Yeah.

And then I texted you after I watched, I was fucking howling on my phone, played it on my TV for my wife and cousin who were visiting and all of us were just like,

this is incredible. Yeah, thank you. Maybe this is inside baseball or comedy, but I don't know. I love geeking out on comedy a bit. The way that you write jokes, and there are other people who are like this, like

the way Chappelle writes jokes is sketch. Like if you see one of his bits, you can also like it comes almost with visuals. And I remember jokes that... I think you said that. Yeah, maybe. And we did it. Well, the one joke—you saw me do a joke at the cellar, and you were like, that's just a sketch.

Yeah. Like, it wasn't even a joke. You were pitching it. I think you were even pitching it to me. Yeah, it was just a sketch. I don't want to give it away. Can we tell the premise? The premise we can tell.

You've seen the joke. It's at the beginning of my special. Yeah. The guy's coming up with age of consent. So funny. And the guy having to guess. So funny. As soon as I said it, he was like, that's a sketch.

That's why we used it at the beginning of the special. It's kind of just a standalone joke. Like it doesn't have anything to do with, you know what I mean? Yeah. You know? Yeah. See what happens when we just say how great you are? Yeah.

I think if you hold that. Yeah. I like seeing how I make you. Big shade fans I think if you hold that. Yeah. I like seeing my big shade fans on the pod. But this is good. Would you ever do your version of Chappelle's show? Yeah.

That'd be awesome. Like stand up, into sketch, into stand up, back and forth? Yeah, I'd like to do that. I think that might be, yeah, that's kind of

what you're doing now, right? If somebody gave us more money. Are there elements of this? We could make that. Could you do it on a small version and then just build it up on YouTube? Yeah, I think so. Like, would you just do it at a club? The hard part build it up on YouTube? Yeah, I think so. Like,

would you just do it at a club? The hard part is the rest of the guys, like, if we put this out for free, I get to make money because I get to go tour with it.

Yeah. And it results in ticket sales. They get nothing. So we had to put this behind a paywall. But when you said you paid $270,000, are you also paying them

out of that? Or are you weighing to accrue? They got some. Okay, good. Yeah, they got some. Yeah. But, yeah.

Interesting cuisine choice on this sketch. Okay, good. Yeah, they got some. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah. Interesting cuisine choice on this sketch. Cuisine? Yeah. I didn't pick it. And no other options. John wrote that one in. I was like,

you're going to make me beat up a fucking Asian dude? I was thinking, we had to address it at some point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you got beat up. This is retribution.

This is retribution. You got me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, that was tough to film. I've never filmed a fight scene with a stranger. It's very uncomfortable. Maybe I'm meant to wrestle for like an hour. Really?

Yeah, that's really uncomfortable. You rubbed his hair? I grabbed his head. But he was like, go hard. And I was like, don't go hard. Is that like we filmed stuff? Is it Dave Goggins? Go hard.

Go hard, dude. In between every scene, I'd be looking back at John and them filming like, dude, fucking'd film stuff. Is it Dave Goggins? Go hard. Go hard, dude. In between every scene, I'd be looking back at, like, John and them filming, like, dude, fucking hurry this up. I'm spazzing. You know what I also noticed? Hold on. How long ago did you film this?

Is this in the middle of, like, Stop Agent 8? It was kind of. It was starting when he did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what are you saying? Well, I was going to say, I noticed SNL and all these shows

push so much for diversity, but your sketches are always just naturally and not in like a weird force way. They just are diverse. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like you got so many sketches with Reggie, Reggie Conquest, who's so funny.

And like, you know what I mean? I think you actually just do a good job of that. Yeah, we put a lot of Philly people in it. Ant Moore's in a couple. Who's Ant Moore? You know Ant. He's at the cellar. Anthony Moore.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it seems like... Anthony. Yeah, he goes by Ant. Yeah, I've never called him Ant. Ant Moore.

You got to check him out. Check him out. Hey. Check him out. I know him, bro. Check him the fuck out, dude. Yeah, I know him, bro. It feels weird when someone points at you like that, right?

Like this? Yeah, yeah. Whoa, dude. That was crazy, dude. You're so tough. Look, bro. It feels weird when someone points at you like that, right? Like this? Yeah, yeah. Whoa, dude. That was crazy, dude. You're so tough. Look, listen. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second. I got to make sure you got long, luscious, beautiful hair.

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And you put Frances Ellis in a few of your sketches. Yes. I noticed that. Yes. And is that because you support blogging about dead women? I mean, he was innocent. Frances was innocent. He was innocent of murder, for sure.

He was totally innocent. He didn't murder anybody. He didn't do anything. He didn't know. He wrote one bad article. Yeah, he was innocent. Francis was innocent. He was innocent of murder, for sure. He was totally innocent. He didn't murder anybody. He didn't do anything. He didn't know. He wrote one bad article. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Have you talked to him about it?

It's the funniest fucking story in the world. He broke the whole set. We got to get him on there. He's been on here to say it. Him being like. We had him on right after. And they found her scorched remains. He's back in parcel, dog.

He's back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to get Barcelona. He's back. Yeah. You got to get more celebrity cameos. I think that's the level up, dude. Yeah, I was really upset that I was not included at all.

I also did no casting. Yeah. It's just Philly guys other than Francis. Francis is from New Hampshire. Yeah, other than Francis. Yeah, or Maine or something. He's from Maine.

Yeah. But he's like, he was in the first season as like a preacher or a priest. Mm-hmm. This one, he'sane or something. He's from Mane. Yeah. But he's like, he was in the first season as like a preacher, or a priest. This one he's like a pilot and a judge. I don't know if you know this, Andrew's a great actor. Yeah. I'm known for it. I've seen you in some stuff.

You are good. No. That one you're in a car, I saw that. Getting coffee with Jerry Seinfeld? That was good. That was someone else. I saw some shit where coffee with Jerry Seinfeld? That was good. I saw some shit where you were in a car. I think that was the Instagram story. I think he was promoting dates for Vegas.

That might have been it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what happened. Well, either way, it was on screen. I was heartbroken, dude. Really? I was heartbroken. I'm sorry.

I reached out to Keeves about it. Let McKeever know, dude. Be like, what the fuck was that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. We actually intentionally didn't put any big names in it. Be honest. If DiCaprio was like, dude, I love the fucking sketches,

you would put him in, right? No question. Yes. Anybody that uses it, this is funny. What? Louis. I was out with Louis. He's got a good grip. Louie he's got a good grip

the young bull's got a nice grip Louie hold on I'm telling you a story yeah yeah but like at what tap did you realize you kind of like the texture

like I early ooh you like that it's fun dude touching guys you smell like a cinnabar that's awesome I was at the airport yesterday

yeah I went out with Louie to get lunch and he was trying to be like yo you need to chill You smell like a Cinnabon. That's awesome. I was at the airport yesterday. Yeah. I went out with Louis to get lunch, and he was trying to be like, yo, you need to chill on the alcohol. I was like, well, last night, somebody offered me cocaine, and I turned it down. That's good. And he was like, that's what you turned it down?

And you're like, nice? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, you're going to get bigger. And what if one time like you're at a party, Leonardo DiCaprio comes up and is like, me and Brad Pitt are going to go do Blow. Do you want to do it? And I was like, yeah, 100%. And he was like, that's not good. I was like, dude, I'm doing that. I'm doing whatever they want.

That's networking. The coolest fucking guys in the business. Exactly. It's who he picked. And I was like, yeah, absolutely. What reminded me was him saying that. I mean, he wasn't disciplined with openers. That was a pretty good story. That's networking. The coolest fucking guys in the business. Exactly. It's who he picked. And I was like, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. What reminded me was him saying that. I mean, he wasn't disciplined with openers.

That was a pretty good story. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good story. See this thing? Fuck. Oh, what do we have here? I got a...

Hold on, hold on. We got something better than a controller, dude. Listen, we got something better than a controller. A couple blue nights, baby. Yeah, I'll get security bike. Hold on, hold on. We got something better than a controller, dude. Listen, we got something better than a controller. A couple blue nights, baby. Yeah, I'll get in there. Have you been getting money? I'm supposed to go to the gymnasium. I got to go to the gymnasium.

I got to do deadlifts at 4 p.m. So no beers? I'll have a couple. I can have like three. Go do cardio. My trainer's going to be like, yo, what happened? How long did it take you to make that start to finish

each one of those took like a day every single sketch you mean like from when we started filming to tomorrow yeah thank you

I have no I think we filmed in July oh that's yeah that's quick turnaround I'm good fuck you

oh wait aren't you not drinking I'm not drinking, dude. Are you off alcohol? Jeez. For 40 days. How about, uh, how's that going, dude? Dude, it's great.

No porn either. No porn. Wait a minute. Hold on, hold on. What are you doing? No alcohol, no porn. What a queer dude. No bread, no sugar.

I feel great. What is this guy? Wait, I'm trying to understand. I didn't know that you were doing, like, a, are you a big porn guy? I mean, an average, average porn guy. Once every couple. Hmm. You know? I didn't know are you a big porn guy? I mean, an average, average porn guy. Once every couple. Hmm. You know?

I didn't know Mark was a big porn guy. That's once more than me. Yeah, yeah. How often do you watch porn? When you're on it. When you're on the stuff. Yeah,

when I'm actually banging, probably like, I mean, if I'm banging porn, dude, probably once every like three days. Bro, you're like a fucking priest. Yeah, I'm a good guy. That's fine. That's great. But now I'm at porn, dude, probably once every, like, three days. Bro, you're like a fucking priest. Yeah.

That's fine. That's great. But now I'm at zero times. Once every three days is fine. No, no, no. It warps your brain, dude. I'm with your boy. I'm with Shane on this.

Matt. That's what I said. Who are you? You're Shane, right? I'm Shane. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, yeah. Matt's the one who's on no porn.

Yeah, I'm with Matt. Matt is just a— His co-host says no porn, right? I'm Shane. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, yeah. Matt's the one who's on No Porn. Yeah, I'm with Matt. Matt is... I was just... His co-host says No Porn. I don't watch porn, but can you explain why... You don't ever watch it. Yeah, but just out of lack of sex drive. Not any other reason.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll hit it. I was just on the pern. I was in... I was on the road. Yeah. So I watched porn.

Yeah. And I masturbated. Okay, both? With hotel lotion. With lotion? I use lotion. I used the lotion then. Yeah. So I watched porn. Yeah. And I masturbated. Okay, both? With hotel lotion. With lotion? I used lotion. I used the lotion then. Sick, bro.

Oh, dude. And I shower. It's nice. The one nice thing about the hotel is you get an extra... What do you mean it's sick? You get a towel. I've never drank enough with lotion. Cool.

Give it a shot, dude. I'm not a lotion guy when I'm home. It's too indulgent. It's too indulgent. Yeah, but I'm in a hotel room, dude. There's nothing to do. Indulge. You know what I mean? Just end it too indulgent. It's too indulgent. Yeah, but I'm in a hotel room, dude. There's nothing to do. Indulge. You know what I mean?

Wack off with lotion. It makes your dick look a little younger, but. Shower in a full body mirror. Wiping jizz and lotion off yourself. Sort of sad, tired. Yeah. Fuck, I got a show tonight. Yeah.

Before. Yeah. No, it's before every time, dude. First show's at like six. Still daylight. Just whack's at like six. Still daylight. Just whack it. Of course. I'm not getting back from shows and whack it off.

That would be crazy. Yeah, I'm stumbling into the room like, yeah, we did it. We did it. Another one, another hit. Mark, I didn't know that you were doing this. Yeah, yeah. I knew that you were cutting,

but I didn't know that you were doing no drinking. He yeah. I knew that you were cutting, but I didn't know that you were doing no drinking. He's cutting everything. Cutting everything, dog. Dopamine cleanse. And now I'm sleeping with my phone in another room. When what? When I sleep. Do you have your watch on you?

Nope. So I don't look at my phone first thing in the morning. I don't look at it right before I go to bed. I feel so much better. I'm alive. I've been doing the Huberman thing, staring at the sun first thing in the morning. Is that really good? I mean, that's what he says. I don't fucking know. You stare at the morning. Is that really good? I mean, that's what he says.

I don't fucking know. You stare at the sun? Directly at the sun, yeah. That's what he said. You've never done that? Yeah, definitely. Definitely. I want to see who's stronger.

Who blinks first. Yeah. Sun's undefeated. What's your record? That sun's pretty awesome. Sun's undefeated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I've been cleansing.

I feel amazing. Really? Yeah. You don't think you could do it? You don't think you could just cut out one thing? Take it easy. Just cut out one. You want to sober October?

I couldn't do that. No way. What's the longest you haven't drank? What's the longest window? I'll go like a week occasionally. What happens? Every once in a while, something terrible will happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'll be like I need a week off I need a week off a family member no like I'll do a podcast where I look like a dumbass shit face

I did that Barstool case race and took a week off after that what's Barstool case race they brought me on you know Roan from Barstool

of course me and him were teammates we did a case race see which team could finish 24 beers first

I won. I had 16 beers in an hour. And it was... Which is a heroic amount of beer. It was a huge mistake. I got in a fight with a producer. He came out and stood over me. He was like, I'll fuck you up. What did he think

was going to happen to the producer when he pitched this idea? I don't know. The show went exactly how we knew it would. It a disaster everyone was screaming over each other entertaining everyone was shit face everybody that liked barstool hated me nice i woke up the next day with just like a thousand tweets like fuck this guy i got drunk and acted like a dickhead as i'm remorseful yeah but it's great it it's great television it is pretty entertaining I'm wearing a fucking my face is painted oh that's what the eagles

yeah oh okay yeah yeah yeah have you been in a lot of fights like have you been in some alcohol induced no scraps

no not since I was young used to as a young man yeah yeah and would you start or would they start

no every fight I've ever been in started with me getting punched in the face really yeah just squeezing a guy you got a good chin huh yeah no well not visibly but yes i didn't mean boxing wise metaphorically yes yeah

wait really people were checking you yeah you're a big fucking guy yeah but i'm a big fat guy like not like you can't tell. So somebody would hit me. Now, were you teasing him? You were shitting on him. You were fucking trash. Were you just laughing at people? Because when you do that, it's inferior. When we were playing and you laughed at me,

it really changed what was going to happen in my day. Really? Yep. Yeah, I got really, yeah. You thought you were so good at FIFA, dude. Why did you think that? You're so bad at it. Why are you acting like I don't still think it thought you were so good at FIFA, dude. Why did you think that? You're so bad at it. Why are you acting like I don't still think it?

He's so bad at it. Well, he's never lost. Why are you acting like I still don't think that? Well, yeah, but in his mind. You know what I mean? We didn't meet. We tied. We tied.

He didn't tell me how to do penalty kicks. I never had to go to penalty kicks. That's bullshit. No, it wasn't penalties. That's bullshit. I always win. I didn't know how to do it. And then with you, you scored one goal, kind of,

and then the other one was luck of the draw. We create our own realities. That's what's happening. That laugh right there is why you got punched in the face by Smokin'. That laugh right there is my hand balls up when you do that laugh. Look, you played your heart out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You tried your best.

I've gotten in a lot of fights when I'm younger. I wonder why. They always punch me first. I think you could go two weeks. I could go two weeks, but here was the thing. I was going to do Sober October with those guys, but then we got fucking Skankfest coming up. Oh, impossible. And I'm not doing that sober. Shout out to Skankfest,

man. Best comedy festival And I was not going to drink today. You looked at your schedule and you're like, I'm going to have to drink this month. I'm absolutely going to doing that sober. Shout out to Skank Fest, man. Yeah. Best comedy festival. And I was not going to drink today. You looked at your schedule and you're like, I'm going to have to drink this month. I'm absolutely going to drink that day. There's no chance I'm not drinking that. But what if you supplemented with something else? Then I'd be doing Molly.

Then you're not sober. Yeah. Yeah. I did ask that. Oh, yeah. We had that discussion. I don't think any alcoholics are like, I'm sober. I do tons of heroin.

Actually, they all do. I do tons of heroin. Dude, you see a comedian in New York. It's like, I'm sober. They're high as fuck. They're they all do. I do tons of heroin. Dude, you see a comedian in New York. He's like, I'm sober. They're high as fuck. They're doing coke, smoking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not list.

Soda. Oh, but soda smokes weed. I'll throw my best friend under the bus. I'll destroy that relationship. Who cares? You know? But more than just weed? Mm-mm.

I don't count weed as bad. Soda doesn't do more than weed. I don't think weed is as bad as alcohol. No do either I don't think weed is as bad as alcohol no yeah but it's also not as fun yeah well it depends who you are

some people have way more fun alcohol is the best it is the best drug the best? Molly is good have you done Molly before? Molly is the best okay here's my big answer

that's a lot what do you like on Molly dude? come on dude there's a whole show about it. What? Love on the spectrum. I promise you, I promise you he is the most fun. True.

I just sit there and go, I want hugs and kisses. I love hugs and kisses. No, the alcohol, it is the joy for cost, right? Like with Molly, I don't know if you, I'm like destroyed for two days afterward. It breaks me emotionally. But with alcohol, I'm like, maybe I might be a little fucked up the next day,

but for how good I feel. Why, you don't get depressed after Molly? No, not really. Not compared to like a hard alcohol and cocaine night. Most depressed. Oh, but coke fucks. Coke destroys me. I haven't done that

in, it's been weeks. Are you a psychedelics guy? No, I did do psychedelics. Yeah, I like psychedelics. Mushrooms are nice. I just did some mushrooms two weeks ago. Mushrooms seem fun.

They were great. Mushrooms are awesome. I heard if you had a bad mushroom trip though, you're fucked. I heard that about mushroom and I heard acid, you're like never the same

if you have a bad trip. I had a pretty negative experience on mushrooms once. I heard that about mushroom and I heard acid, you're like never the same. I had a pretty negative experience on mushrooms once. I took like seven grams, which is... Yeah, it was... I was on molly. I thought it was going to be funny. That's like 18 Bud Lights in an hour. Yeah, it's worse.

I couldn't see. Anybody you look at has like multiple eyes and heads and shit. Like you fully hallucinate. And then I was like seeing my own death over and over again. How'd you die? I literally had the ego death. You had a Danny Brown. I actually had the ego death.

How did you die? It was an overdose and I stopped doing coke. Oh, shit. Yeah, it was scary. Wow. Laying there and I could see like paramedics shining lights in my eyes. And then I would wake up and my friends would be around like, oh, fuck, he's dying on the floor.

Yeah, it was terrifying. How do you know which drug killed you? I just figured it was coke. Could have been cirrhosis of the liver, though. You know what I mean? You don't just out of nowhere at a party like, ah! That's so crazy that you're like, I'm only going to stop doing one drug.

I realize I'm going to die. That was the drug. And fentanyl is everywhere. You just guessed, dude. Yeah, the fentanyl shit is I realize I'm going to die. That was the drug. And fentanyl's everywhere. You just guessed, dude. Yeah, the fentanyl shit is scary. I knew in my heart it was cocaine. That's wild. Cocaine sucks every time I do it. I mean, it's fun to do.

It's kind of the most fun doing it. I think you just cut out the drug that you already wanted to cut out. Yeah, I did. But I don't do other drugs other than, I don't even do shots. I drink fucking Bud Light. No. But I don't do other drugs other than, I don't even do shots. I drink fucking Bud Light. No weed? I hate weed. You get paranoid?

Yeah, real paranoid. Yeah, same. I don't see who's like a psychedelic guy. Mushrooms are pretty sick. Yeah, I'm like surprised by that. Mushrooms and Molly, it seems like universally people enjoy it. Yeah. You don't though.

No, I said the Molly fucking love, man. Mushrooms doesn't make anything. We should do Molly. Yeah, I told you that about this. I said that. I said let's do Molly on the show. You don't, though. No, I thought the Molly I fucking love, man. Mushrooms doesn't make anything. We should do Molly. Yeah, I told you that about this. I said that. I said, let's do Molly on the show. You did, but have you tried the Tesla pill? No.

So it's an ecstasy pill. I've heard about this. Okay. Shane's from Philly, dude. We've talked about it on the podcast. I've heard about this. It is fucking unbelievable because it's, Molly is just the good feeling,

but it doesn't have any of the coke feeling. You know what I mean? I'll tell you. The coke feeling. Yeah. So they put just enough in there where you

like got some energy. I want to get the music going. I want to dance. Do you dance? Yeah, I can cut it. You're a dancer. So like let's have Let's

Don't get that gritty out there. Son, he did Are you sturdy, bro? No, no. He's very sturdy and he did it after the victory oh yeah

which was which was crushing infuriating every time i do my i don't get like i'm not like sexual at all yeah i'm just it's just nice yeah what makes you sexual yeah what makes me sexual yeah i just can't see as a sexual guy i'm not'm not. I'm not. Lotion in a hotel room? Lotion in a hotel room. Pornography. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watching a fucking mom get stuck under a fucking bed.

Is that your genre? That's, yeah. Step or full blood? I'll toss it in there. I'll toss it full blood. Because that's a big difference in the community. I want them to say,

my actual son, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Biological son, what are you doing yeah biological son what are you doing back there uh but yeah molly's uh it's great yeah we should do it together we should have done fucking ecstasy on this one wait a minute hold on no no i gotta cancel i'd be so happy i'd be so happy to cancel this fucking gym no no i'd be so happy to cancel this fucking gym. No, no. I'd be so happy. No, we're going to go to the gym.

Look, I need this. Dude, hold on. That'd be a good pump. You'd have a great pump. Can you imagine doing deadlifts, huge boner, just... Yeah. Piling the dick and then dropping it back down. You get like Adderall dick. You get...

Like when I do it, my dick's gone. Oh, really? Yeah. Wait a minute. It's gone. You need to take a little shit with it. You can do a body shot out of it. It's just reverse.

Yes, it's disgusting. I thought we had more. No, I left it out burning my shirt. Why are you angry? No, it's a crazy thing to be like, oh, I forgot my wallet.

Oh, shit, I forgot all that ecstasy. I think we need to have a night. Would you just casually do it in the middle of the day? If it was here, would you?

Fuck no. If we all did it right now, I would do it. Together, yeah. Now, let's do it in the daytime because it's hard to sleep afterwards. Yeah, I guess.

You know what I mean? Like dessert, you want to share with somebody. That's like a CrossFit class. It'd be nice. Like, let's go through it together. Yeah. It's also comedians work at night,

so like, we could do a podcast high, but you're not going on stage on Molly. I mean. That was the first time I ever did Molly. And how was? I was on stage. And?

It was the craziest fucking thing. Like, so during the pandemic, we would have shows at helium yeah and that they was a comedy club yeah philly they would let us let me book the show bring our friends and then hang out after it was the only place we could like go to a bar so big j would come down every week and we would he would bring molly right we would all do molly and then it was like me norman and big j in the green room and he was like Molly. We would all do Molly. And then it was like me, Norman, and Big J in the green room, and he was like, come on, guys, do it. And Norman was like, I don't know.

He was so afraid of it. He was like. I was like, dude, do it, you motherfucker. Love, love. I feel love. He took it and freaked out and left. He got on the Chinatown bus back to New York. He was on Molly on the bus.

Oh, no. Martin Norman riding the Chinatown bus is the saddest part of that whole thing. It's sad. What the fuck are you doing? I took it after I went because I was hosting the show. And Jay was like, here, take some. So I was like, all right, fuck it. And I took some.

And then while Jay was closing the show, he was like, Shane, come out here. And I was like, oh, fuck. And right when he said, Shane, come out here, I just felt a wave of like, and I never did it like that. So I like felt it. I was like, oh. Literally, like it makes your knees buckle. Like I was like, oh, shit. And he brought me on stage and he was like, I couldn't talk.

I got on stage and I was like. I was like, everybody, I just, I'm on ecstasy right now. And then they were all like, yeah. Going crazy. So I felt that. And I was like, oh. I was like, yo. I was like, dude, that's so nice of you guys.

And then Jay left. He left me on stage. On stage high. Yeah, and I just had to, I couldn't talk. I literally was like. Guys, I have to to go I'm so sorry how long ago was this? it was first

it was during the pandemic it was right when the pandemic started that's the first time you were at Molly's? that was the first time yeah oh shit then we did it

every other week we did it every other week for like four months that's crazy I feel like more people from Philly need to do Molly I say Philly specifically or like Pennsylvania people Philly maybe Boston like there's like more people from Philly need to do Molly. I say Philly specifically or like Pennsylvania people.

Philly, maybe Boston. I think blue collar people need to do more drugs. Yeah. Those places that don't have any problem with addiction, like they should really get into. Don't get addicted to opiates.

Boston. Get them off opiates. That's my point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get them on. That would help. God damn. They are on opiates.

I don't care if you're dying. I just want you to be nicer. Yeah. Kensington? Yeah. That's it. You know another nicer. Yeah. Kensington? Yeah. That's it. You know another Gilly? Kensington and Allegheny.

Okay, yeah. This is the area in Philly. Dude, you've never said anything like that. You know Gillian Wallow, Million Dollars Worth a Game podcast? Yes. So they're two Philly dudes, and he was showing some pictures from fucking— Dude. I didn't realize what was going on in Kensington.

Kensington's apparently the roughest area. When we were filming these sketches, I would— after we'd be done shooting, it'd be like 1 a.m., and I would just go drive up and down Kensington. When we were filming these sketches, I would, after we'd be done shooting, it'd be like 1 a.m. and I would just go drive up and down Kensington just to see it every night and it is,

it's the craziest shit you've ever seen. It's like an actual, like you're driving up and down like, damn, somebody actually needs to do something. Like Skid Row kind of thing?

It's more intense. It's the worst place on earth. Skid Row, the weather is nice, like 75 every day. This is under a fucking train. There's an elevated train in the street, so everything's like dark and metal,

and it's just a thousand people nodding off, injecting. Is it like Amsterdam? It is. Yeah, but even more open. It's weird. It's like, I don't know where it is in Philadelphia, but it seems... It's like North Philly.

Okay. Yeah. But it seems like it's like North Philly. Okay. Yeah. But it just, it seems like it's like, just imagine an average neighborhood in Manhattan. You could YouTube Kensington. It's gnarly, dude.

Kensington and Allegheny. Oh, that's fucked up. I never knew Philly. Some guy films it like every day and you can watch any... Like a Twitch stream? Any time of day, at all times.

Just go to YouTube and type in Kensington and Allegheny. Is he making ad money on that? That's wild. Maybe. Yeah, that's wild. Let's give it back. So, yeah, I guess Molly might not help them, but.

Molly. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Has it always been like that? Has this area always? No, it was the opioid. So this is last what? Yeah. 10 years?

Yeah. Five years? 15 years, yeah. I never, I didn't know Philly was like that, man. Philly. 15 years, yeah. I never, I didn't know Philly was like that, man. Philly, yeah, K&A is like the, it's that, the whole fucking, for 10 blocks.

And people live here? Well, there are kids that grow up there, too. People open into, like, sores, dude. That's the grossest part. They inject into, like, wounds in their necks and legs and shit. Because they run out of veins. Yeah Yeah, dude, it's this the whole street Damn, yeah, it looks like the wires Somebody's making a killing out there

You'll see you'll be driving down everyone looks like this and there's just a black dude You'll be driving down, everyone looks like this, and there's just a black dude standing there. You're like, you motherfucker. I don't want a profile or anything. You seem a little bit... Skid Row's crazier. I promise it's not. We're going to compare.

We're really going to compare, Dov. Jeez, just let bad things be bad. No, let's compare. He does this moral superiority thing recently. He's doing moral... What, with the fucking not doing porn? No, just in general. Yeah, let's compare. He does this moral superiority thing recently. He's doing moral... What, with the fucking not doing porn? No, just in general. Yeah, I hate that. He'll be trying to make a joke and be like, oh yeah, I'm sorry,

people are poor, or whatever the fuck. He really defends the poor a lot. Yes, dude. For they will inherit the kingdom of heaven. Yeah. Come on, bro. I feel about meek. They got a fucking duck. He's one of my favorite rappers. Nice. He's gonna inherit there? Yeah, they got a duck. He's one of my favorite rappers. Nice. He's going to inherit there? Yeah, they got a duck. That's awesome.

These guys seem like they're doing all right. So that park, they do like open injection. Or not open. They give them like safe needles and all that shit. So they're like ice cream trucks. They'll like pull up. Every one of them goes to the park and injects at the same time. It's pretty wild.

They're having fun. Look at that. It's every train stop. Jesus. I mean, that's crazy. They're having fun. Look at that. It's every train stop. Jesus. I mean, that's crazy. I mean, yeah. Yeah, this is just fucked. Someone should do something.

Yeah. What do you do? No one's doing anything. It's a real opportunity for a Gillian Keefe sketch, I think, if you think about it. I should end up down there and not do heroin, just Bud Light. Sit down there with them like yeah life's tough

you're on an episode of Soft White Underbelly what happened to you man just kept doing podcasts oh fuck what was rock bottom for you dude what happened

the fucking Barstool Barstool case oh fuck dude yeah I mean this is this is kind of brutal yeah a fucking Barstool. Barstool K3. Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah, I mean, this is kind of brutal. Yeah. In Vancouver,

they're doing safe fentanyl exchanges. No, Vancouver has an actual like three block radius where it's legal. It actually is Amsterdam. But not only legal, like you bring the... Hold on, what is a fentanyl exchange? So you bring in the cheap shit

and the government that gets the clean fentanyl is going to be exchanging with you, and you agree to at least have a consultation with the nurses, etc. And it's really serving. There's junkies that can actually survive off this shit over the last decades, like old-school junkies. It's like the cheap shit that someone just, it's what, a thousand times or a hundred times stronger than heroin.

That's what's not going to do. Fentanyl is, right? Yeah. I mean, that's crazy, bro. Yeah, I don't know the fix for this. I don't know. Maybe comedy? Probably it's comedy, dude. Like maybe if you did like a bringer show down there. Laughter. Yeah. Laughter really heals

all of you, man. It is the best medicine. Yeah. It's true. Better than any drug. They would love it. Tell them that. Like, hey, you guys like medicine? Have you ever? Well, no.

But like, I've done like AA shows and like NA shows. Because I didn't drink for like years. And the audiences were the best. Because one, they're used to listening to boring stories because of all the AA meetings, right? So they're a great attention span. And then two, you can't— That's so funny that they're boring stories to you and these guys are up there like, my kids won't speak to me anymore. We lost the house. And he's like, that's not funny.

No, I never went to the meetings, but the— Get off the stage! And then also, you can't offend them. Like, the people in the N.A. have done the craziest shit for drugs. I bet you can offend them. Bro, it is hard. You weren't trying hard enough, dude. I wasn't?

Say, hey, are you an alcoholic pussy? I bet you that would— Yeah. They'd probably be like, oh, you're a dickhead. You fucking bitch. Yeah. Oh, you can't drink? Oh, you're addicted to alcohol?

Idiot. Oh, I'm a drug drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that would offend them for sure. Like, that's really offensive. I mean, are we cracking more, Shane can't drink? Oh, you're addicted to alcohol? Idiot. Oh, I'm a drug drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that would offend them for sure. Like, that's really offensive. I mean, are we cracking more, Shane, or what? Yeah. What, dude, you finished that one yet?

Yeah. You wanted a little help or whatever? Are there more AA shows? I want to do one. Well, now that you're clean. I'll be at a couple. I'm headed there. Shane's like, is there a two-drink minimum?

What's going on? I'll be shit-faced just like, this guy, I used to be good at this. Yeah, sure, buddy. All right, guys, we take a break for a second because some of y'all need to get tickets, okay? Some of y'all out there, you're trying to cut out to Akash Singh's show,

sold out, where can you get them tickets? Seat Geek, got your back, okay? You want to buy some tickets to some NFL football teams that are respectable, sold out, Seat Geek, got your back. You want to go to a Taylor Swift concert. You want to go to tickets to some NFL football teams that are respectable, sold out. Seat Geek got your back. You want to go to a Taylor Swift concert. You want to go to anything that you need. You're going to go to Seat Geek.

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have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash flagrant. Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash flagrant to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Now let's get back to the show. Also, Big Daisy energy tickets. Actually, first of all, let me say thank you to everybody who came out to Good Nights in Raleigh. It was crazy. We performed Hurricane Ian was sliding through. We had to cancel one show and so many people still showed up to the 1030 show.

It was fucking amazing. It was awesome. One of the best shows we've ever had. Thank you so much to everybody who came through. I was amazed that you guys showed that kind of love. Also, upcoming dates, October 6th through 8th. This week, I'm going to be at the Improv in Pittsburgh. October 14th and 15th next week,

I'm going to be at Virginia Beach, Virginia. Again, nothing remarkable about each of these cities. Don't pretend you have better things to do. October 27th through 29th, Philly Helium Comedy Club. It's a cool city. You got things to do. October 27th through 29th, Philly, Helium Comedy Club. That's a cool city. You got things to do, but you're all miserable. So why don't you just come laugh at Helium Comedy Club? Also, quick announcement before we get back to the show. The improv shows we have in December have been postponed. We will get a new date,

and I will get it to you. I know a bunch of you bought tickets already, but we will find a new date for you guys. For the three shows i named and the rest of the shows for the big dis energy tour this year go to akash singh.com get your tickets before they sell out and let's get back to the show do you have rules of how drunk you'll be on a show i mean are you ever sober when you go andrew and obviously akash sober sober on a show on doing stand-up yeah i usually don't drink before a show oh good, good for you. I like that. I'll have like one or two during. That's great.

During the show. That's fine. Three show nights. By the late show, I'll have a couple. So I'll have one or two. There we go. I'll have one or two of one before. Yep.

Usually. Which for you at your size is not much. It's nothing. Okay, okay. And then one or two on stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then maybe one or two in between. And then?

So then the late show, I'll be like six, seven beers. You're slurring. No, no, no. You know the way this story started is I don't drink on stage. Yeah. And now you're seven beers before. Before shows. Now before late shows.

First show. Before first show. Yeah, before first show, which is good. You just told us I don't drink at 4 p.m. That's what he told us. Yeah. Basically. Okay, hypothetical.

Your mom is kidnapped, okay? Some guy says, hey, in order to free her, you have to beat me at a drinking game. What is your go-to game to free your mother? I would,

case race. To see who can drink more. I could do it. I could, if somebody's life was on the line, I could put down a lot. Mom or dad, who would you say first?

Dad. Right, though? No hesitation. Right, though? Smart. Right, though? She'll watch this. Oh, no.

She should have done better. That's what I say. My mom was great, but like all women, she got older and is just out of her fucking mind. Really? Yeah. I'm being mean to my mom for no reason. No, my mom's great. she got older and is just out of her fucking mind. Really? I'm being mean to my mom for no reason. No, my mom's great. But.

And I don't know. That is a tough one. Who do you say? Dude, but you kind of love dad more. No, I don't want to say that. But what are you thinking, though? Like, what's in your heart and head? Piece of shit. I'm not.

Because my mom watches it. And I love my mom. I watch it. Oh, yeah. Your mom commented on one of them. I'm going to say my dad. Okay and I love my mom and I watch it. Oh yeah, your mom commented on one of them. I'm going to say my dad. Okay.

Yeah. But what's the caveat? Because you like your dad more than your mom. Yep. Okay, no, you can't say that. He did a better job.

You can't say that. How did he do better? He just fucking killed it. Your mom's listening to this. She's probably going to comment. No, I love my mom and she's amazing. She commented.

She commented a few times. There was one episode called Schultz's Mom's Jugs and she commented. What did she say? I called Schultz's mom's jugs yeah and she commented what did she say I don't know you guys are crazy

or something like that damn so she was like you guys are crazy no you bought her you guys are crazy this is crazy you guys are talking

about my jugs yeah this is like you in a hotel room with a lotion mom's jugs yeah I would do a case race with those my dad but my dad's jugs yeah I would do a case race

with those my dad but my dad's on limited time I think he'll die before my mom statistically you know

so I'm saving him to keep him for like six more years any sickness or anything I don't want to jinx him on that

yeah he has cancer every fucking ten minutes oh really he gets skin cancer daily really

you'll see he won't tell me either he'll show up to like I'll see him at like a family party he'll skin cancer daily. Really? You'll see, he won't tell me either. He'll show up to like, I'll see him at like a family party. He'll have a scoop out of his fucking head. What the fuck is that? He's like, what?

Baskin Robbins? Yeah, dude. He's just chonked out of his nose. 31 flavors. He showed up to Easter missing half his nose. And they like replaced it with like thighs. He's got like a white part of his nose. He's like, Dan, what happened to you?

He's like, I'm fucking with his cancer. What? What? I was like, tell me, dude. That's kind of a double part of his nose. He's like, Dan, what happened to you? He's like, I'm fucking in cancer. What? I was like, tell me, dude. That's kind of a double whammy, dude. He just totally was like. You got to lose it for your nose and your thigh? Every once in a while, he'll be nice. Like, he'll call me and be like, what's going on?

Like, the last couple of weeks, he's been calling me. He misses me. Yeah, yeah. And so I'm getting worried. Yeah, I was going to say that's scary. He's calling me to be like, what's going on? Where are you? That's scary.

What the fuck do you want? Yeah. How often do you go back to the car? Any dad phone call that doesn't immediately go to the house or scary. He's calling me to be like, what's going on? Where are you? I'll be like, what the fuck do you want? Yeah. How often do you go back to his house? Any dad phone call that doesn't immediately go to the house or car, that's a problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the nose thing is, but look, I respect it. It's like, I'm not going to be a burden on anybody.

You're jealous. This is skin cancer. He doesn't tell anyone. Exactly. He did have prostate cancer, but that was all right. But you can get that. He got that done. Yeah, yeah.

He's fine right now. Did they go in him? Hold on. Did he have an issue with that? I don't know. I don't know. I didn't talk to him about it. Can you go like, hey, how'd they find out there was something up there? Apparently, it was pretty gross though because he told... One story my mom told was like, while the nurse

was talking, he was like, you better get a bigger catheter. He was like making sex jokes. And then he was like, they were like, is it still going to work? And he's like, oh yeah, it still works. He said that at dinner. I was like, god damn, dude. Disgusting. My dad's bragging about boners. Anyway,

where's that controller? Let me see that. Where's that fucking controller? Okay, then you were saying the latest one. No, that was it. No, he started calling you and being nice. Oh, he's being nice right now. Still doesn't say I love you, which is funny. Has he ever said it?

Occasionally. But he's never like hanging up the phone like I love you. You guys got to do Molly together. Oh, yes. Fuck. That would be awesome. Imagine that. One last time.

That would be so nice. What do you mean one last time? He's like 65. He's all right. No, for you before you die. So cool. You're six mean, one light is still on? He's like 65. He's all right. No, for you, before you die. So cool. Like, you're six butt lights away, baby.

Mark, you're quick on here. What happens on stage? What happens? Dude, that would be good, man. I mean, when he gets... Molly with your dad would be fucking great. But what if he got horny?

What if he was like, son... Yeah, hold on. It's a different genre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I started... Dad, why are you stuck in the washing machine? What is even happening right now? This is so weird.

I would do Molly with my dad. That'd be really nice. And he would... I think he would do it. I think you need it. You need to give them the opportunity to like get those emotions out that they've had bottled up.

Yeah. He takes a multivitamin, like you can just pop it in. When people do Molly, they're like, holy shit, how have I not been doing this? Yeah.

Not like, I guess it's. No, no, promote it. Every time. Yeah, killingkeeps.tv. Yeah. Try Molly.

Molly. Go to Kensington. They'll hook you up for cheap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch out. They're going to give you a big. Yeah, you're going to die for cheap. Watch out. They're going to get you. They're going to get you.

Yeah, you're going to die for certain. No, I think it's, yeah, I think it's valid, especially for like older folks that are repressed. Was your dad in a war? I kind of want to know. What, what? The extract from my dad. No, for real, because they're going through something

that's made them so bottled up they can't share a single fucking emotion and that's got to be depressing. They weren't allowed to have emotions. Maybe that. Until like 1998. And like, so, okay, so my dad's- Which they are kind of right about.

I don't mean to cut you off. No, no, no, you can. The older generation is correct. No. The older generation is fucking shut up. Look how emotional you've been today. I'm very emotional. You've been sharing so many great things.

It's been beautiful. I am very emotional. I'm an emotional guy. It's embarrassing. Do the one emotion that you do really. Do the one. Oh, dude, that was beautiful, bro. He's got two.

Dude, that was fucking cool. Now imagine this. There's a loud noise outside. Ah. You have a soft blankie in your hand. You're good at that, dude. I'm not yet. You're a good actorie in your hand. You're good at that, dude. I'm not, yeah. You're a good actor.

Thanks, bro. That's you. I want to see it. I want to see them let loose a little bit. And I think it's good for them to do. Dude, how difficult would it be to get our parents on here and all do ecstasy? No. I could get my mom to do it.

Actually, it might be a health risk. Not yet. Because it increases your heart rate, right? Your heart rate. Yeah, I don't think my dad can handle that. A little bit. Tesla is like, what the fuck? Would your mom do it?

I mean, flagrant, son. Crazy. I'm still doing ad reads just crying better help me better help me we gotta get the parents on do we need to help as a guided meditation

with therapists that's what people do if they really wanna do what you're trying to do. You're out. He's out. He's out. Let's go to a fucking house.

Let's get a cabin. And you do it. You drink some beers. You take some molly. Listen to fun music. Yeah. No girls. Just guys.

Yeah. All our dads. Just a couple guys in our mouths. You know what I mean? Just hanging out. Yeah. You never know what happens. If you suck my dad at the cabin, I'm going to be pissed.

Whoa. You better not suck my fucking dad's dick. I would actively try to suck your dad's dick. Suck my dad's dick. Shane's dad's gay. I just blew that fucking... You could trick him into it. You're not going to let me do it.

You're still holding it? You're just going to let me do it. Just checking for skin cancer. That's all. A little melanoma on the tip. Okay, before we hit Feel Yourself facts, I think we have to discuss some picks. Shane already has his gambling app open. Yeah.

I just want to check the lines this week. Put money on the Bucs thinking they would win for the hurricane victims. I did not think so. They don't care about them. I thought they would. I did not think that would happen. Yesterday I did good, though. What'd you do?

Actually, never mind. I lost on the Giants. Oh, no, this is New York. You put money on the Bears? I was in Arizona when I placed my bets. I got the Eagles and the Eagles over. I got Wake Forest money line. A lot of guys didn't see that coming.

Wake at Florida State. Not a big deal. I got that. How much do you put down? That one I put. Or do you. How much do you put down? That one I put. Or do you limit the amount that you'll gamble? Yeah, I usually don't gamble a lot. Under what?

Like I put $520 on Wake Forest Moneyline, and I won $1,500. Now, total in a weekend. So yesterday, I only put two bets. I put $100 on the Eagles spread and $100 on the over. So I bet $200. So you know what? Never mind. I bet $500 on the Bucs.

When I got home, I was like, you know what? Fuck it. You don't drink before shows. I don't drink on planes either. I got home. I was like, put it all on the Bucs. Okay, so $2,000 a week tops you'll put down

not yeah not even what's your biggest win though what's your biggest like dude you know what sucks in Vegas I tried to put

10,000 dollars on fucking Nate Diaz oh wow and he won and the fucking I couldn't my card wouldn't do it

my ATM was like my bank was like you can't you can't just take 10,000 dollars I had to like call it just was a this you can't just take $10,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to like call it. It just was a whole rigmarole.

And what would you have won? He was a slight underdog. Slight underdog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably would have won $1,100. Yeah. Or $11,000, $12,000. I first, yeah, shout out to Nate.

First of all, have you spoken to him about what the next plan is? Can you give us some? I haven't, I haven't. I love that you have friends. I'm not close, I'm not close. No, no, no, stop it, stop it, stop it. You're not best friends,

but you guys have hung out outside of... I don't want to keep going on podcasts and be like, me and Nate Diaz are friends. I don't want him to think that I'm out here. Don't say that you're friends,

but you guys have hung out. So you know Nate outside of TV and fighting. You know him just as a guy. Yes. And what you've said to me is the best guy. I think he's the best dude

I've, see again, I go on podcasts and suck this dude's dick. No, no. He's such a psycho. No, he doesn't. I'm sure because everybody talks shit,

they make fun of him, they have little jokes. Nobody's going, I've hung out with him and he is the real fucking deal. He's the only dude that like, he's the only famous dude that I've seen that

actively will like, if you're, I'm not advocating this, but like, if people are around and they're like, can we get a picture? He's like, oh, yeah, hell yeah. Like, immediately. Like, no hesitation. He's out having fun with everybody. Like, the first time I met him, one of his friends, McDermott, what up, shouted, he brought me to hang out with him.

And right when I got to the bar, they were about to shotgun some beers, and Nate was like, he never met me. He was like, hold on, hold on, get him one. Like, he stopped every, like, it was crazy. Yeah, he's the man. That's the nicest dude possible. Yeah. Every other famous person would be like,

fucking another fat fucking idiot. He was just like, get him another drink. So there's this moment, I don't know if you watched, like, the, there's a moment where he's in the, I think it was Megan Olivi, I think is her name. And he's talking with Megan

just after the final fight on his contract. Oh, with the rock shoes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now he's thrashing the rock shoes, shout out to the rock, the rock is a man, but he's also.

Shout out to the rock. Shout out to the rock. But he's doing, but he's, I don't know, it's the weirdest thing, like it was the first time I saw like his,

I want to say like true personality come out. He almost feels like, I don't know, it's the weirdest thing. It was the first time I saw his, I want to say, true personality come out. He almost feels like, I don't know, he's more reserved in the press conferences and all these other things. This was him being goofy. He was being silly. It seems like after fights, he was being funny after that fight. Yes. And then, did you see them when somebody asked him about Kamsat?

Someone was like, what did you think of that? He was like, pussy. Yeah. Scared. I won. I'm 1 of that? He was like, pussy. Yeah. Scared. Yeah. I won. I'm 1-0. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you can tell he's sitting up there like, this is funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the fucking man. It's one of those things. I think the reason why people are curious, or at least the reason why I'm curious when I saw you guys hanging, is that oftentimes you meet people that are famous and you're kind of let down.

Yeah. And every once in a while you meet somebody famous and you're like oh this guy is the fucking truth yeah and he is yes dude every time i'm like i uh there's a girl at the cellar that's like obsessed with him yeah so i like texted him i was hammered and i was like this i wouldn't do this otherwise i was drunk i was like fuck it i'll text nate yeah yeah it's like dude will you facetime real quick this girl fucking loves you and i was like a fuck it. I'll text Nate. Yeah. It's like, dude, will you FaceTime real quick? This girl fucking loves you. And I was like, a minute later, he didn't respond. I texted him. I was like, I'm so fucking gay for asking. Fuck, I suck so bad. It ruined my night. I was just like, fuck, dude. But then he FaceTimed me and I was like, oh shit, hold on. And I held

it up and she was like, yeah. And he was like, yo. He was like, what's up? What's going on? Like, he was just, also he got me for the impression. Oh, really? We went out to dinner. That's how I know they're watching. People are watching. Yeah, yeah. I think I might have did his impression on Rogan.

And he was like, we're in the middle of dinner. He's like, I don't sound like that. And I was just like. How scared were you in that moment? I was like, agreed. A hundred percent. I have not done it since, dude. We'll bleep it. We got to bleep that, bro.

Yo, I don't sound like that. I was just like, yeah, dude, definitely. Yeah. Dude, the... He does it and everybody's like, yo, yeah. It's so nice. No, it's great. It's refreshing when they're actually the shit. Yeah, it was crazy.

Also, to slightly know him and then watch him fight. I felt like a wife. Wait, you were there? Yeah, I was cage-sut. I was with Rogan. I was right up front. What was sick is he got done. We were at the after party, and he was like,

I saw you sitting up front, Shane Gillis. I was like, damn, dude, you saw me during the fight? Yeah, he's paying attention. He's like, while he's fighting, he's like, oh, it's Shane. That's probably why he won, dude. He was like, I don't fucking sound like that. I'm not going to lose. Yeah.

After party. After party was. Wobbling around at all? Like, what did they look like after a fight like that? He was fine. Really? Yeah, he was fine. Yeah, I don't think he, he didn't take too many big shots.

It was the leg kicks. Yeah, he got some leg kicks. So I'm wondering. Dude, he took that one. I was like, oh, fuck. Yeah. He like limped on it. He made that look easy though.

Yeah. I couldn't believe that. Yeah. Ferguson is wild. Yeah, wild boy. Ferguson's a wild boy. Wild boy. Ferguson might be trying some drugs.

Yeah. I don't know. He's done that at Washington for sure. He looks like he's trying some drugs. Yeah. I don't know. He's done that at Washington for sure. It looks like he's trying stuff now. Did you see that? I just watched a video of him like kicking a metal pole in his house. Yep, yep. Holy shit.

Striking that shin bone. That's a terrifying dude. Yeah. Yeah. Like you stub your toe and it's like the worst 10 seconds of your life. Yeah. And this guy's kicking a metal pole. Yeah.

With the sunglasses on, and the hair, and the faux hawk. Insane sunglasses. The sick faux hawk. Terrifying, dude. That guy's fucking terrifying. He's like from the future, bro. That's what it feels like.

He's from the future if we were in the 90s and we were like, what's the future? What's the future going to be? He's a T-1000, basically. Yeah, for real. He's kicking metal.

Even his captions do you follow him on Instagram no I don't his captions are phenomenal what are they he doesn't like really spell words

like he'll spell them like with emojis in them and like throw random things yeah he's he reminds me of the kid in high school that would like

run to class you know what I mean that would like have his backpack on just like sprint there with his hands behind his back and then he just started to fucking people behind his back. And then he just

started to fucking people up. Like, it's insane that he just figured that out. Yeah. He would be, yeah. He's a problem. You think you could take Nate, though? Like, if you guys were drunk?

If I could, could I take Nate? Like, if you guys are both kind of drunk after a fight? You start talking some shit? Definitely. Dude. You start talking a little shit?

It would be over so sad and fast. So sad. It would be so so sad and fast. So sad. It would be so sad. Have you hung out Nick at all? No. Never? No. I'm curious about Nick.

Everybody seems very rev, you know, they hold him in pretty high regard. Yo, that's one thing I really respect about Nate. Yeah. Is like through Nate's success, he's always shouting out. Every time. Yeah. Like big time. He's like Nick Diaz Army.

The GOAT. Nick Diaz Army. Nick Diaz Army. This guy's the goat like yeah I wonder what that that whole crew is tight knit

they're great yeah and they look like they don't look like you would imagine they're unassuming they're totally unassuming I mean I've like

with you know I don't want to be gay their shirt's off I'm sure you can tell I've thought about it I've pictured every one of them they're not gonna to like me. Oh, no.

It's so weird. I get like, yeah. Coolest famous person you met? Easily. Easily. Easily. I was a fan of his before. Like a big fan. And then he lived up to it. He's better than most people

I'm friends with. He's like a cool dude. most people I'm friends with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like a cool dude. Yeah. But then I'm always like, then I'm always like, I'm always like, oh, they're going to think I suck. Yeah.

And you'll say that to them? I'll say that to the one dude. Like, what do you say? To McDermott, I'll text him and be like, fuck, I asked Nate if he wanted to hang out. I look like a fucking idiot.

Fuck, dude, the whole crew's not going to like me anymore. They don't even know who the fuck I am they just keep seeing me drunk at parties like yo

I think he thinks you're a make a wish dude I really do I really think that dude seeing me front row he must have been like oh shit that guy is fucking retarded

he's close that guy that keeps showing up at parties is retarded he's like die already dude yeah yeah Nate's the fucking man that's like, die already, dude. Yeah. Yeah, Nate's the fucking Nate.

That's funny. Yeah, that comes out fight. That would have been scary. What do you think? Comes out scary. You know, he's, wait, you saw him. He fought on the same card. That's right, that's right. When you saw him on the undercard.

Oh, so it was like. I thought it was kind of, I mean, yeah, protect yourself at all times, but like the fake hand touch. That was bullshit. I thought that was kind of corny. That was bullshit. Especially knowing the guy is coming up in weight to fight you.

He's trying to be a bad guy and he's, I don't think he's built for it. Yeah. He seems like he wants to be liked. Yeah. So he's trying to be a bad guy and then.

Yeah, being okay being a bad guy is super fucking rare. Yeah. I don't think I know anybody like that. Jake Paul. Jake, yeah. That's his, he's like this amazing.

Mayweather was. And Mayweather. Mayweather was good at it. Not in my life. You think of all the people you know, his, he's like this amazing. Mayweather was. And Mayweather. Mayweather was good at it. Not in person, like in my life, you think of all the people you know,

everybody wants to be like. Yeah, Mayweather knocked out what's-his-name trying to touch gloves. Oh, Ortiz. Yeah, but that was after Ortiz headbutted him. I know, but.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, include it, you fucking jerk. And Ortiz was also just doing it because the crowd started booing it and he didn't want

to be disliked. So he was being a little bit of a bitch and then he tried to and Floyd was like, fuck that. That's actually a fight we never talked about,

Mayweather and Deji. Yeah, I can't believe it's even happening. That's a sad fucking thing. What's that? Who's Deji? Deji is this YouTuber, KSI's brother.

He fought on this. KSI's a YouTube guy. Yeah, he's massive. He's like. He's huge. He started the YouTube boxing trend. Him and Logan Paul like kicked it off.

Yeah. And that was a close match, right? Yeah, both fights. Wasn't that a good fight? Yeah, yeah. That's all I know about. I heard it was the KSI guy. I always called him Psy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Gangnam Style. That's Gangnam Style. That's the Korean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great. Yeah, he is great.

I love those guys. But Mayweather's fighting fucking... He's fighting Deji, and I don't know. Are you less impressed with this than when he fights some random dude in Korea or Japan or something? Mayweather. He's fought random guys before, and Deji's less random than those guys. This is my assumption. My assumption is there's a big-time guarantee, and Mayweather goes, you have to hit this number.

I'll do an exhibition for $20 million. Crack it open. I'll do an exhibition. We're just doing three, and then we're going to the gym. Three, and then I actually have to go to the gym. What are you hitting today at Salt Lake? I have a fucking trainer. So you have no idea?

So whatever he's got. Are you wearing this? Yeah, I'll wear this. I'll show up like a Mexican playing fucking basketball. That guy's the best fucking guy. If you go to a soccer field to see a Mexican in jeans, you're getting fucked up. He's going to work a million percent.

No, basketball's the best because they play like seven on four. Yeah. There's no rules. No one can play. Yeah, it's the best. But yeah, I think it's just like, Maylor's like, yo, it's $20 million for me to show up. I'll fight whoever.

I don't give a fuck. We'll call it an exhibition. But it's $20 million guaranteed cash. I don't give a fuck. We'll call it an exhibition, but it's 20 million guaranteed cash. I don't even think he cares about like sharing the gates or whatever.

Japanese dude. Twice. There's another, two different ones. This is more embarrassing to me somehow. You know when celebrities will like do

random international commercials that you never see and you're just like, all right, whatever. It's some fucking Japanese soda. Go get your money. How are you mad at that?

Because everybody's going to watch this. And I also think he's going broke. If you're Floyd and you make hundreds of millions of dollars fighting Conor McGregor

and you need another however many million here, 10 told me, you're going broke. Promoting your fucking strip club on IG. I just refuse to believe this guy's making money.

I don't know if he's going broke, but I do think it's hard for him to turn down guaranteed $20 million. No promo. Didn't Logan say he owes him millions of dollars already? Yeah. So he's just a

scumbag businessman like everybody else. Like, Trump. You're not saying any of the hedge funds, like, oh, don't you know? No, Dr. Umar Johnson is Black Trump. No way. Of course I know who Dr. Umar is. I'm very into racial. I'm very tapped into the racism. No interracial marriage. He's like, I like this guy Of course I know who Dr. Umar is. I'm very into racial. I'm trying to get Dr. Umar.

I'm very tapped into the racism. No interracial marriage. He's like, I like this guy. Write that down. He's on to something. Philly, educated. Dr. Umar. Yes. And where's the school?

Is the school in Pennsylvania? No, I guess I'm not as tapped in as I wanted. But yes, it's probably in North Philly. I heard he's building one in Harrisburg. Fuck me. Oh, is it? No, that's where Shane's from. Can you imagine?

See, I forget every podcast. I'm supposed to do a fucking podcast tomorrow. I thought it was... Sorry, I checked my phone, but... Are we boring you? I forgot that podcast.

I'm going to call him and say, oh shit, that's tomorrow. Call him right now and he's going to go. But when you call him now that you know it's tomorrow,

you don't have to go, oh, do we have a podcast tomorrow? I forgot it was tomorrow. And be a phony. I was walking to get coffee. It's not forgotten. I like to call people

when I'm walking around. You don't even need to call him because it's been confirmed that you have aony. I was walking to get coffee. It's not forgotten. I like to call people when I'm walking around. You don't even need to call him because it's been confirmed that you have a podcast. You haven't missed it. I know. He did the right thing. He texted me and said, we're good for tomorrow. Oh, yeah. You haven't missed it.

Why did you text me? I didn't text you. Let's look at our text. I didn't text you. We were texting about the podcast. Because you knew. That's the thing. He's used to the confirmation text.

No, because we already confirmed. Did we confirm? I asked him if he was going to come back. Are you going to be back in time from Phoenix? And you're like, yeah, yeah, I'll be back. We should do ecstasy. Ha, Beers, we already confirmed. Did we confirm? I asked him if he was going to come back, are you going to be back in time from Phoenix? And you're like, yeah, yeah, I'll be back. We should do ecstasy, ha ha. Yeah. See? Real discussions. The last thing we talked about was

I said, John can't come. And that was it. That was the last thing. I said, John can't come October 3rd. You said the N-word. Then I said... Neighbor. And then you said connect us on text and then you and me and john texted that john was gay yes we did and that was that that was how it ended yeah and i was on the road and i was i wasn't really thinking about it and then today when i was walking to get coffee i was like oh shit i forgot i might be doing that so i called you yeah

you're just trying to make this boring, or what's the goal? I just want to prove my innocence. Okay. Listen, John McKeever, you're a talented motherfucking man, and we wish you had you on the podcast. Unfortunately, you're too busy for us, but I am annoyed that he's not here. I am annoyed, too.

While everybody does know how brilliant you are, and I do mean this. I know what you got mad about. You're fucking brilliant. I mean this, and I know you hate it when I say it, but it's important that it's said. I know you you got mad about. You're fucking brilliant. I mean this, and I know you hate it when I say it, but it's important that it's said. I know you hate it, but you are fucking brilliant,

but McKeever is also brilliant. No, you're going to need that. This is going to be heavy. Get the controller. Get it just a little. It's like a clip. Yeah, yeah. But McKeever is brilliant,

and he deserves his shout-outs, too. McKeever writes, directs, edits. Yeah, well, you both write. And we actually. I've heard you tell me these ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he'll take an idea. Like, he'll take that joke and be like... He's really talented at the genre, yeah.

Yeah, McKeever, monster. I know why you were mad about the phone call. Why, why? Because you felt like I was like, oh, great, I got to do this podcast. Yeah, I did feel that. And in your mind, you're doing me a big favor. No, I don't think I'm doing you a favor. Yeah, you're doing me a huge fucking...

No, no, not in your mind. In the world's mind. McKeever, we love you. But that's what you were mad about. Yes. You were like, I was like, what's up, dude? No, he's not taking this seriously. But I don't think that I'm doing anything. He was like, yo, is that podcast today? You're like, yeah, it is. Yes. Yeah, it is today.

That is insulting. I am giving you a handout today. No, not a handout. I am giving you a fucking handout. Not a handout. I'm shitting right now. You're gonna call me? I'm giving you a handout today. No, not a handout. I am giving you a fucking handout. Not a handout. I'm shitting right now. You're going to call me? I'm giving you a handout. You called me during the ballot. You fucking piece of shit.

That's what you said. You were being a piece of shit. No, I was being a friendly guy. Oh, that pod is today? Yeah, it's a podcast. You called that pod. I said, are we doing the podcast today? No, no, you said, are we doing that pod today?

I said, the podcast, dude. Yeah, you go, the one with with you call them charlamagne i was like charlamagne as charlemagne oh yeah exactly and i was like no it's not even that one like the first holy roman emperor no all right no he did pick it because it's charlamagne right? 800. Look it up. 800 AD. Google it, dog. I might be wrong. It might be 500. No, it's 800 AD.

I think it's 800. Yeah. Charlemagne the ruler. You can just type in Charlemagne, dude. Not 800. No, no, no. If you type in Charlemagne on Google, it's going to come up. It knows I'm texting from New York.

Charlemagne the god's bigger than fucking me. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. What a bum that old emperor was, huh? Well, what is interesting is that it's spelled differently. Okay? So Charle is spelled with an A. Watch those previous searches.

Watch those Charlemagne gay question marks. Okay, see? Now, go with the Holy Roman Emperor, whatever you claim. What year? 774. He was anointed. 768. Reign, 768 through 814.

Yeah, you kind of... I got it. I know when he was. Oh, he died 814. Yeah, but 800. See when he was... That's when you count it. Well, see when he was announced as the Roman emperor.

Guys, no one in this room could have said 800. Maybe you. Thank you. What do you mean? You would have never. Look at that. And the first emperor of the Romans from 800. He was announced as the emperor of the Romans in 800.

No. Yes. No, dude. Why are you saying no? I'm reading. I'm sorry, dude. I'm reading. You don't have to show off, dude.

Yeah. And he divorced Luft no? I'm reading. I'm sorry, dude. I'm reading. Okay, you don't have to show off, dude. Yeah. And he divorced Luftgard in fucking 800 too. As soon as he got announced as emperor. He got rid of his fucking baby. As you do. G's up, bro. He divorced his lady when he got announced. That's some Bezos shit, dude.

Yeah. It's kind of impressive, actually. I'm having fun now. Yeah, now you are. Listen, let's wrap up this podcast. Listen, Shane Gillis, make sure you go check out gilliankeves.tv tonight. Make sure you buy that.

We're all watching it. Shane, you know I fucking love you. I think you're absolutely brilliant. I mean that sincerely. I think you're fucking so talented and I'm glad that the internet has given you an opportunity to show people how fucking talented you are and make their decision for themselves about you are. I think it's really good.

And make their decision for themselves about you. And it looks like it's worked out. And I know this is tough for you to hear, but it makes me really happy when you get articles written about you in the fucking New Yorker saying, like, yo, this guy's the fucking truth. And I think that you are doing amazing things, and I wish you the most success. I know. If you think about it, getting fired off SNL, probably the best thing that ever happened. In a way.

Guys, it means so much to be here. Guys, this has been Flavio. Have a great night. Peace. I'm going to fuck you up in FIFA.