Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Shane Gillis & Steve Gerben get Catfished, Gay Jokes with the Boys, & Tires 2

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

YERRR the legends Shane Gillis and Steve Gerben pulled up to Flagrant, straight outta Netflix’s Tires, to talk comedy, chaos, and building a hit out of an auto shop. From wild writers’ room moment...s to how life has changed for them, Shane and Steve keep it raw and hilarious. They get into their Philly roots, their bedroom habits and their recent trip to the Masters. All that and more on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 - start 2:05 - Shane got nervous around Caitlin Clark 8:14 - Tires is more reality than not 10:30 - Vince Vaughn is the coolest 14:30 - Life has changed for Steve Gerben 18:45 - Shane is tired of Texas 20:21 - the problems with baths 24:30 - Hotels are less clean than you think 29:00 - Gerben is wild in bed 34:17 - Gerben's catfishing story 40:28 - How Shane, Gerbs, McKeever and the Philly crew met 44:20 - Shane loved NYC before SNL 55:50 - Shane gets impressed 57:50 - How does Shane do so much stand up? 1:02:30 - Bonnie Blue supporters in the room 1:10:30 - How long till Shane is Shane around super famous people? 1:14:00 - Jamaicans aren't cool with white boy fun 1:16:40 - Shane's favorite type of video from India 1:23:00 - Gerbs wants to commentate golf & greatest sports commentators 1:30:40 - MLS is uncool 1:35:19 - Shane went to the Masters and didn't love it 1:41:55 - wrap gifts for each other at the end of Tires 1:46:19 - Gerbs loves singing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, everybody? What's up? What's up? Welcome to the show. Today we are joined by good friends, Netflix superstars. Yeah, Steve Gerby. Yes. Steve Gerby and also Shane Giles, of course.
Starting point is 00:00:13 But Steve Gerby, I think the world has known, has just hit a sub-80. Let's go. On a golf course right now. Wow. And I'm not saying that, like, the acting superstar has gone to his head. But the sub-80, I think,
Starting point is 00:00:26 might have changed something. I mean, he asked Alex to not be on the couch because of the color of his skin. That is true. I did walk up to him on set just to say hi and try to give him a hug, and he was like, not right now, Schultz. And then he just walked away. Excuse me. Not even close.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Because he didn't like the way I was talking to you. What do you mean? He didn't like that I was being nice to you. That was actually really funny. You're a little suck-up. I'm a suck- you. What do you mean? And how I thought I was being nice to you. That was actually really funny. Yeah, you're a little suck up. I'm a suck up. Wait, what happened?
Starting point is 00:00:48 Andrew's coming down, like you basically donated his time. So I'm just like, you know, talking to him and like keeping the energy up, and he's like, you wanna fucking be on Flay Group. I was like, shit. I was like, I'm just talking to him. He didn't even say that. It just walks up.
Starting point is 00:01:03 I didn't even say you wanna be on Flay Group. just walks up, he's kind of hulking, he goes, stop it. He just walks away. You should have seen him with Thomas Hayden Church on this season. Just like agreeable. You know, I would say that's the way that I would describe it. And so you just kind of use social grease and what have you. You just kind of go along with it, and you just don't like it.
Starting point is 00:01:27 I don't know what to talk about. So, how are you doing, Andy? What's the most important thing? I did this with Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Oh yeah. We met him in Abu Dhabi. He's a soccer player, all time legend, one of the greats. And I just saw him, and it was like one of the few times
Starting point is 00:01:44 I like spazzed out seeing a famous person. Yeah. Like normally I just avoid it, and it the greats. And I just saw him and it was like one of the few times I spazzed out seeing a famous person. Like normally I just avoid it and it just goes away. But I just couldn't help it. I was like, I have to get a picture with his Latin. So I dapped him up and I was like, dude, I love you. I think I said I love him to his Latin. And he was like, okay. And then I took a selfie and then I'd never saw him again. He just walked away. It was awful. It was terrible. Hey, you got a selfie. Yeah. I was starstruck. Caitlin Clark was at my show in Indiana.
Starting point is 00:02:07 And I had, for some reason, I was like, oh, shit. Like, I don't, every once in a while, somebody gets me that I didn't think was gonna make me like, holy fuck. Of you saying hi to Steph Curry, introducing yourself, and him going, I know who you are. Yeah, that was awesome.
Starting point is 00:02:21 That's insane. I mean, that's fucking awesome. Which was funny too, because it was me and Sam Jay you Nick's yeah, and the whole time I'm like sitting there like fucking I hate the Warriors fuck Greens a cocksucker fuck him and but our seat was right next to the bench and Draymond was sitting next to us Yeah, and he was funny as fuck and he was the fucking man and I was like damn I was wrong about Steph Curry's a fucking bitch Then he looks over at Sam Jay cuz he knew Sam and he was like what's up?
Starting point is 00:02:51 Immediately she and I were both like dude stuff crazy fucking Fan I rooted for him one time in the Olympics and I was like, oh I get I get like It's the most fun you can ever have. Yeah. That was back when I liked the Knicks. Now, that was last season. Yeah. Wait, why don't you like the Knicks? Why don't you like them now?
Starting point is 00:03:12 Last year when they eliminated Philly. You guys were in the playoffs last year? Yeah. Oh, wow. Remember it was one of those series you guys won and acted like you won the Super Bowl? You won one series? Every series.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Oh, my god. I was trying to cheer for you guys. You're such co won one series. Every single one. Oh my God. I was trying to cheer for you guys. You're such cocksuckers. Somebody else said that too. It is tough, dude. I want to. We just get so overexcited about it. It was brutal.
Starting point is 00:03:33 We went to Indianapolis last night to watch the game and then just wasted an inordinate amount of money thinking that we were going to win game six in Indiana. That would have been awesome. And it would have been so fucking. That would have been awesome. That would have been awesome. And it would have been so fucking, it would have been incredible. And I have to say, first of all, I got food poisoning while I was there,
Starting point is 00:03:49 so I'm brutally sick, so not only do we lose everything, I also haven't eaten anything since, and it's been bad, but. I will see. What do you eat? I have fucking pretzel, and I woke up this morning. There's no way. And what happened? I have no clue, salad, I have no clue. I was just, they poisoned me.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Was it vomit or diarrhea? No,, I mean it was a little bit He's very clinical about everything yeah, but then we'll talk the same way about like pussy Perform oral sex No, no, no. There's no reason to be terrified. Oh yeah, fuck you. No, fuck you! This is a scary one! No, no, no. He is the mean one! I'm the nice guy! Okay, okay. Now you're one of y'all are nice. What the fuck is this, dude?
Starting point is 00:04:54 Lenin and Stalin. Debating about who's better. Fuckin' go to hell. Lenin, Lenin, Lenin. You're Stalin. Okay, okay. I think Lenin's last words were like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, You are a dog aren't you you're in New York you're out of town walking around on zip lean looks lean Yeah, there's a shirtless like pic of you I saw like a freeze frame in the media stuff What there's a your shirtless?
Starting point is 00:05:46 No, it's so fucking funny. Why that was like my favorite thing of the entire season So there's an episode where he takes his shirt off. We're doing like a salesman, you know that Andy Elliott guy. That's like Take your shirt off The guy pranked him, by the way? No. You see the guy who called him and he's, oh fuck, I'm pretty sure it's Andy Elliott. I'm not sure, I don't want it to ruin the story. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:06:11 But like, he calls the guy, I wish we could get it up actually. See if you can get up. The guy calls him and he's calling to prank this Andy Elliott guy and he's like, I'm buying a package and the package is 20 grand. And Andy Elliott calls him back or something like that and he's like, dude, I wanna buy it,
Starting point is 00:06:22 but like, my mom just fucking passed away and just this. And Andy Elliott takes him home. He's like, I'm here for your brother. If you need a few minutes, just let me know. We could sign this thing up. And then. He's still closer. He's still closer.
Starting point is 00:06:37 All time closer. He's still closer. But we do an episode where we're watching an Andy Elliott type salesman guy, and he brings, Steve goes on stage and takes his shirt off. And when we're talking about, like when we're in the writers room, and before we film, Steve is like,
Starting point is 00:06:54 I gotta tell you, I've been working out, Shady. You're gonna be pissed off. You're not gonna like what you see. You're not gonna like what you see. And then I'm sitting in the crowd while we're filming it, and he takes his shirt off, and he looks like shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I have like a praying mantis body. I know he keeps his shoulders so it's very weird to look at. Two, we were like eating like change. So Henry Davis had like chicken,
Starting point is 00:07:30 cheese steaks and french fries. Audible gas when he took his shirt off in the crowd. People were like, aw. I had to leave the room. I had to leave the scene. I was like, I can't be in here. I laughed so hard it hurt. It was so like humiliating. Hey, look at LA Gurbies.
Starting point is 00:07:48 That's good for your eyes though. That's LA. That's before you got jacked. That's before. That was season one. That was pre-Hollywood. That's just good lighting. You got a nice vein going on the bicep. Salik. Thanks. We were swimming.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Yeah. We were swimming in it. We were. We were. We were. I had a pump on probably. What were you swimming in? It was a little long time. They were doing a race. LA Gurbies did it. I'm really realizing tires is not that exaggerated at all. It's pretty much exactly what it is.
Starting point is 00:08:21 The writers are just being like, let's have a conversation. That's the episode. Every single person, like you play just an exaggerated version of you. Tommy, the execs, Stav is Stav. Stav is 100% Stav. Yeah. Kyla is Kyla. June 5th, by the way. It's out June 5th. Season 2. Season 2, it's 12 episodes.
Starting point is 00:08:43 What was it for season? Six. So they doubled up two, it's 12 episodes. What was it for season? Six. Six, so they doubled up for second season, 12 episodes. And let's run it up, let's get this number one. Let's knock out whoever's in the spot, let's run it the fuck up. Everybody watch, especially that first, June 5th.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Yeah. So watch those videos. Thank you. It's gonna be number one. Yeah, I think. Son, you guys took on Bridgerton last time. That was crazy. That was nice.
Starting point is 00:09:02 That was crazy. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Shonda was looking at you, number one. Who? Shonda Rhimes. The Bridgerton lady. She's done like 32 TV shows. Yeah, okay. What were you going to say though, Kerry?
Starting point is 00:09:16 No, I was just going to say it was very, like season one especially was so cool because he, like, I don't know how much people know, but that, he paid to have that entire shot made to shoot the entire thing. And you know, that was when his star was sort of rising and he should have like not done that. I just knew you were a star. No. I knew from day.
Starting point is 00:09:38 He's like a Tom Cruise. Please. You know, you were a McKeever. You're like the next Tom Cruise. Yeah. Stop. I'm being serious though, anyway. Just take the compliment, Shane.
Starting point is 00:09:52 It's also, it's McKeever that's, it's all McKeever. And Gerby. Maybe it's all three of you guys. True, but the work he does is. McKeever is like, yeah. I think you guys are all. McKeever is like, yeah. I think you guys are all... McKeever is absolutely amazing. Like, woof, we filmed the season, and then I just forget about it.
Starting point is 00:10:10 I just go, like, all I did was act. And then I'll like call... You're selling yourself short. I'll call McKeever like two months later. You don't just act. You are very involved in scenes. You're very involved in suggestions. I called McKeever like two or three months later, and I was like, what's up, dude? What have you been up to?
Starting point is 00:10:24 I've been editing.? I'm editing. I haven't left. I was like, oh shit, you're still working on that? Forgot about that. Who is the craziest person in the season that you got to cameo and how did you ask them? It was Vince Vaughn. Yeah, for sure. And what was the ask? I met him a couple times and he and I, I was in a movie that he was in that hasn't come out yet,
Starting point is 00:10:43 but we got that we got to know each other and he's the coolest fucking guy ever. He seems awesome. He is Vince Vaughn, which is, I mean, he's like that all the time. Dude, I watch known us. He's the guy from Swingers, basically. Yeah, do you know the new movie?
Starting point is 00:10:56 He's got a Netflix. No, I haven't seen it yet. I watch it. Just because he's there. Dude, we went to see the internship together, the theaters. Yeah, Vince is the man. Vince is the man.
Starting point is 00:11:03 We were like. He's kind of the coolest guy ever. Okay, you reach out personally or you have like... Yeah, I just texted him and I was like, would you be in the show we're making? And he just was like, yeah, of course. He was familiar with season one? I don't know if he had even seen it yet, I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Okay. But he just instantly was like, yeah, just say when. That's awesome. And then we were trying to find a way to get him in the show because I was like, we got Vince in the show. Of course, yeah. And then we kind of shoehorn him in there.
Starting point is 00:11:27 So you'll see, he's in like two scenes. Okay, okay. So you're writing for Vince Vaughn, right? And you've seen every Vince Vaughn movie, right? Oh man, that's a great topic. Yes, okay. How do you stop yourself from just writing? We didn't.
Starting point is 00:11:42 He wrote, he had a pass at the script, and do you remember that? Every sentence ended with baby. Oh. Yeah, I was like, he was like. I mean, the times, baby. Every line was like, come on, baby. Come on, baby.
Starting point is 00:11:56 What are you doing, baby? So you get Vincent, and then he's in these scenes, and you've obviously worked the script to respect him as an actor and not make him. He got the lines like right away. I mean, I think we gave him to him that day. And he's yeah. And he just knew him. It was pretty impressive. And then and then he added Vince stuff, which it was awesome to watch. Were you intimidated? Like when you're.
Starting point is 00:12:21 A little, yeah. Yeah. Especially because our scene is just me and him sitting at the bar, right? And it's like, oh, shit. Yeah. And he would like improv and say just, I don't know, we'd finish the scene and be like, what are your thoughts on Japanese toys
Starting point is 00:12:35 on a scale of one, two to four? Yeah. Yeah, like... Three? I don't know. I don't know. Come on, man. He's not at all intimidated,
Starting point is 00:12:43 like doing comedy with you. No. It's interesting, right? I mean, just as a comedic actor, he's like Hall of Fame. Yeah, of course, of course, of course. But in like, you know, you're around a comedian, you might pull your punches a little bit more, but he's just so confident in his shit. He was, yeah, he was like a real actor. Yeah, yeah, he is.
Starting point is 00:13:02 He was like serious. Oh, really? Yeah, he's a real fucking actor. He's like a real actor. Yeah. Yeah, he is He was like serious. Oh, really? Yeah, he's a real fucking actor It's like a lesbian and the rest of us are when you riff would he like? Well, yeah, Kirby is obviously Kirby's is wearing a robe in his trailer. Oh my god One time What kind of robe? They had it ready for you. Oh that's nice. With the slivers?
Starting point is 00:13:28 Also guys, show dates June 19th through 21st, I'm going to be in Salt Lake City, Utah. July 18th and 19th, Oklahoma City. August 1st and 2nd, I'm going to be in Kansas City. Guys, we got all those dates and more at AkashSingh.com. Also the 420 special, I did a show on 420 on Denver, on Shrooms, was a fucking party. There's a nice 20 plus minute clip on YouTube
Starting point is 00:13:48 if you wanna check that out on my page. Also, I got some other fun shit dropping in the next couple weeks. So stay tuned, it's Akash Singh on YouTube. That's all you gotta do, AK, double A-S-H. Love y'all. Hey guys, it's Mark Yagdon, world's fastest ads read.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Ready, Buffalo, New York, Raleigh, North Carolina, Poughkeepsie, New York, Portland, Oregon, Fort Worth, Austin, Stanford, Levittown, Washington, D.C., Chandler, Arizona, San Diego, and of course the last week of every month I do a show in New York City at Mary Lou. I would love to see you guys come on out. A bunch of other dates, you can check out my website,
Starting point is 00:14:18 Mark Agnon Live. If your name is Mary Lou, you're gonna suck Mark's dick for free at the show. Please don't do that. See you guys there. I'll buy your tickets. I'll buy it. Gary, how has life changed? Has there been anything cool that you've been able to do? You got suck marks dick see you at the show. Please don't do that. See you guys Life change has there been anything cool that you've been able to do just like a little bit of financial freedom Which is like an unbelievable feeling massive, right? Yeah. Yeah, but anything anything you bought anything that you I joined the country club That was like sir. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:14:40 You join the Jewish Country Club. You joined the Jewish Country Club? Wow. And technically, not anymore. Yeah, it was Palestinian. Yeah, it was. It's not Jewish anymore. No, they got bought by a conglomerate because they apparently raided the ground financially. They were skimming off the top of it. No, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Maybe, because there was a very expensive shed apparently. Who knows? But anyway, that's what I did with it. So you got it, you got it to the country club. 100%. And then now you've been hanging out, you're playing a lot of golf, and it hasn't affected Shane at all.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Shane is not bummed at all that you guys don't have time. He doesn't, well, he obviously doesn't like me. Why do you think that is? Because you guys have such great chemistry. You're always defending him. Why don't you love this guy? I love you What are you talking about? You are exhausting though
Starting point is 00:15:33 It's like I love you but then you know go away Hey buddy I can relate Wait, why is he so exhausting? What does he do? Hey, I mean You saw what it is. I can't do anything. This, the amount of time that I thought I was like, should I tuck in? I'm telling you, I had a whole outfit I did. I was like, it's just a mark on my head.
Starting point is 00:15:56 I couldn't do it. Because you're worried what he's going to say the second he sees it. Of course. I'm walking around. You said like that clip that's going out. Sorry, I'm ignoring you with this. No, no, no, no. I'm not ignoring you. You said like that clip that's going out that's I'm sorry. I have no ring you You know, oh you had guys film them I've been walking around my house be like guys
Starting point is 00:16:30 Guys filming somebody's filming me. I go, please stop filming. No your podcast Everything is He doesn't like me. He doesn't like me judging everything he does while he's away. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? We're doing a... Psychological warfare. We're doing a late night tomorrow, and I called him and I was like, well you got your tuxedo, right?
Starting point is 00:16:58 We're gonna wear tuxedos. And then he called me like... Well, cause originally he texted you. He group texted you. I wanted him to wear a tuxedo. I'm not wearing a fucking. He group texted. I wanted him to wear a tuxedo. I'm not wearing a fucking tuxedo. I just wanted him to wear a tuxedo. So I ordered one.
Starting point is 00:17:11 And then before I took it to the tailor, because the pre-natal body, I had like the shoulders tied to it. And I was like, are we really doing this? And then he. I had a moment of weakness. I was like, no, we're not. He said no.
Starting point is 00:17:23 But you did have like another. I felt bad. I was going to make him wear a tuxedo, yeah. That was beautiful. But I know Steve, he wants to wear a tuxedo. I mean, he wants to. Not a tux, but like a suit shirt. You know what would be great is if you show up tomorrow with a fucking tuxedo.
Starting point is 00:17:36 That would be- No, that's good running. Yeah, that's good. That's good stuff. I don't see what he's saying. That's good running. That's good writing. Shane! But then he did have another funny... You don't think he's already thought of that?
Starting point is 00:17:50 I had another idea. His other idea is very funny, because... You can go ahead. He apparently, in an auction, purchased O.J. Simpson's ties. So he's going to be like, alright, just wear a suit and then ask me to wear this tie. And then he'd find out live that it was O.JJ Simpson's ties. So he was gonna be like, all right, just wear a suit and then ask me to wear this. And then he find out live that it was OJ's tie. And I'm already like, I got a ton of anxiety
Starting point is 00:18:11 about just the general thing that it, I thought that would have been kind of. That would have been good. Yeah. What do you do? It would have been so viral. It would have been pretty crazy. Classic multi-faceted doctor.
Starting point is 00:18:21 That's OJ Simpson's tie. He comes out and he ducks your dress like this and then you don't even let anybody, you just let the internet figure it out on its own. It's gonna be a disaster though. So what are you guys wearing? What are you guys wearing? I don't know, I packed.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Do you guys wanna workshop the interview? I think I'm gonna wear like a black shirt. I'm gonna wear this. That's a good fit. Yeah, that's nice. I didn't pack, there was a storm in Texas, and I have no power Okay, and I have to be gone
Starting point is 00:18:48 Our grid like fucking idiots. Yeah, it's terrible Yeah, and I was gonna do laundry before I left for this trip, right? But everything I have no power for like three days. Yeah, Texas fucking blows The house was 90 degrees. Yeah. Oh my God. And just bugs. And it's June. We'll go out in August.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Bugs came in immediately. The house filled with bugs. I'm just laying in the dark. I was, you would have liked it. I lit some candles and read a book. You would have liked it. I lit some candles and read a book. You would have liked it. Now I get it, Kirby. Now I get it. The second I'm calm and interested in the story, he just rips me for no reason.
Starting point is 00:19:32 No, no, you like when I do gay shit. You like when I do gay shit. I do. I do like that. You think it's very funny when I do gay shit. When you do gay shit, I like it. Like what? Like what's your... Like read a book by Candlelight. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Which is funny. Yeah. Naked. It doesn't have to be naked. I was naked. Really? It was hot as shit. Just ass naked, reading a book.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Wow. What book was it? It's called Tree of Smoke by Dennis Johnson. The basketball player? No. No. The former Celtic. Yeah. No, it's great.
Starting point is 00:20:09 It's about Vietnam. It's very nice. Oh, wow. Yeah. You think he was really there? I don't think he was there. Well, probably got some good perspective. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:18 But it's tough. Yeah, when you're naked reading a book and then whenever you close the book, you see your tiny penis. In candlelight. Oh, fuck. You can't get your fuckers on the book. I'll read about tinier ones.
Starting point is 00:20:34 Is it ancient history? Yeah, when was the last time you took a bath? Oh, dude, I took a bath in Rieselheim. That was tough, dude. Last week, off. You're trying to read the news. No, I haven't. I haven't. bath I'm saying you know that feeling I also treated it like a shower. Last time I took a bath, I like got in pissed. I was pissed and like blew my nose. Why did I do that? Yeah, dude. It just kind of floats in there with you.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Real fucking, ah, real monsters. Just blown your pissed. My wife drew me up a bath because my legs were sore. She's like, yeah, I'll get you Epsom salts. Also put bubbles in it. That sucks. Yeah, my wife did the same shit and I loved it. You took a bubble bath?
Starting point is 00:21:33 I wish I had a book. Yeah. Fantastic. I just haven't taken a bubble bath. Salts and bubbles. Get out of here, dude. I was a kid. I was like a child.
Starting point is 00:21:41 I took a full on bubble bath as an adult. You take baths? No. Why were you like that? I was just working out. Did you think that we'd be talking about this today, Gurbz? Baths? Yeah, just like comparing our bath stories?
Starting point is 00:21:55 Yeah, no. You ever catch a bath jerk off? No. No, that's crazy. You grabbed all the baths. He just sat in my cup. This guy is wild comfortable with his own semen. I don't understand it.
Starting point is 00:22:08 I know. He's like, he'll like come on himself and just leave it there. He comes on the carpet of hotels. Like, when he's on the bed, he just leaves. I was thinking about that. He turns over and then just lets it rip. No. It's disgusting.
Starting point is 00:22:19 We're all living in the same world. Yeah. I can't do that. You're coming in the same world. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm telling you, I'm afraid to walk barefoot in a hotel because of this guy. You shouldn't walk barefoot in a hotel. What do you wear? You sleep with socks?
Starting point is 00:22:37 You get up to pee in the middle of the night? He goes to the beach with socks, of course. He sleeps with socks. He has to sleep with socks. Do you wear, I sleep naked. Do you sleep naked? I sleep naked, but I have socks on. You wear socks and you jack off and sleep naked. Do you sleep naked? I sleep naked, but I have socks on. You wear them socks and you jack off and sleep?
Starting point is 00:22:47 I'm a little odd, man. I swear to God, I thought about that yesterday. I was in a hotel. I was like, this is disgusting motherfucker. It comes on this floor. Yeah. It's the poor people that are at the... Nah, but they clean it. No, they don't. They run a vacuum cleaner over it. Dude, if you're brushing your teeth in the hotel shower and you drop your toothbrush, do you just leave it or do you pick it up? It's all of us. It's a wrap. Yeah, I would never brush my teeth in the shower. I always. I always. All exclusively in the shower. Really? I definitely will do it. You should try it. It's very nice. Yeah, it's a time saver. The hotel would warm. Really?
Starting point is 00:23:19 Until you drop your toothbrush and then it goes towards the drain and you pick it up real fast and you just look at it. It's just over. You're like, do I do I dare try this out? Yeah, I do mark Don't pretend you get in a shower Clogging that drain I didn't have to sneak my drain recently Somebody's supposed to be quiet going, ew. I just work and go, ew. Dude, the upstairs shower got so clogged up that the water filled up the shower and then started leaking into the bathroom downstairs. Oh, jeez.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Because the drain was so jammed. Yeah, you got all that hair. Yeah, me plus my wife, plus now our new baby. Oh, congratulations. Yeah, tiny little baby hairs getting hair. He's got no hair. It's all going to the drain. And then I had to snake it and it was just one giant glob. And then I just was sitting in the shower just covered in muck. And then I had to shower in the same shower that I just cleaned. It was awful. It was terrible. Why are you doing
Starting point is 00:24:19 it? Who else is going to do it? Don't you, you rent a place, right? Yeah, I texted the the mainest guy the super and he's like You should do it left me on read Never came back It's your hair right you chose this hair yeah, but coming on the floor in a hotel is fucking repulsive you think that's a crazy thing Over is interesting to me like the rollovers that's a wild move. That's really just thing things. I'm over is interesting to me like the rollovers That's a wild move. I'm a little lazy. Yeah, I'm pretty fucking lazy, and I don't do that You just gotta get the towel. Don't worry about what I'm up to. You just get the bathroom towel.
Starting point is 00:25:06 That's the responsible move. That's like a professional, you've been at a hotel before. Preemptively. And you gotta just see it through. Just keep a couple on the bed next to you from now on. Gervs, do you even do that? Do you even whack off like that? Like that? Yeah, just you whack off like that.
Starting point is 00:25:22 No! Do you whack off? No, No. Can you whack off? No, not really, but are you like a guy with a lot of horniness in your life? Of course. These are the most horniest guys I've ever met. Really? Oh, and has it always been that way since you guys met? Yeah, I was shocked. That was sort of how, yeah. How you guys can make...
Starting point is 00:25:41 No, no, no. He's telling the story. He's telling the story. Please tell the story. We're in the fucking Philadelphia. We're like, yeah, you want to hang out? Take advantage of the girls and girls and girls. Back when he started his podcast, I think I was one of the first guests you had on. And that was another time that you risked your own, cause at the time, I think you had like a thousand listeners, which in Philadelphia was like, what? Cause if you got like 80 views on something,
Starting point is 00:26:14 it was huge, and he had a thousand, and I was like, people are gonna hate me, they're gonna stop listening to your show, what have you. And then, but yeah, he was like, we were just, I was open about my pornography watching. So I think like that. So that's- I liked it.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Yeah. Do you watch porn? There's this. Yeah, yeah, we got all the details. He was like, he'll give you every, you can ask him anything. I don't really have like shame. Like fully answer it, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Okay. He's like a sexual freak. No, that's sexual. But I don't know, we don't have to talk about it. I'm not like inviting you to talk. No, no, no, no. You ask him, he'll tell you. Tell him talk about it. I'm not inviting you to talk. Tell them about the pillow. You know the pillow.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Oh, the pillow? Well, I thought you were talking about... That was fucking perfect. What about the pillow? What about the pillow? Oh boy, that was... Never mind. Don't touch it. don't recoil, recoil.
Starting point is 00:27:05 But, uh. Hold on. Recoil. Don't recoil. He's about to tell a fucking sex story. He's like. Ew. Don't recoil.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Freaking. No, I feel like it's only because of, you know, like eating pussy. Performing oral sex. Performing oral sex. He performs oral. He performs oral. So you were watching videos of people with porn?
Starting point is 00:27:34 No, no, no, no. This is him. This is him. This is why I like pumped on, pumped faked the story, because I was like, oh, I thought we were talking about porn, but we're talking about me. So yes, the pillow is like, I would put down a pillow too then, and then there was some incredible fan art made about that. Wait, wait, you would put down a pillow to do what? Explain what the pillow is like I would put down a pillow to then and then there was some incredible fan art made about that Wait, wait, you would put down a pillow to explain what the pillow is. I put this put that down for my knees Before you before the performance
Starting point is 00:28:14 Socks I have the same socks I'm on the side of the bed on my knees. Oh, got it. And so that's hence the pillow. Got it. I thought she was standing. I had no clue she was on the bed. No, I know. It's my bad. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Standing, that's actually nice. That'd be interesting. That's going to be tough for you with the length of your... Well, my, so that's actually nice. Let me interesting You that's gonna be tough for in there. It hurts my neck. Yes. Yes. Yes. But.
Starting point is 00:28:49 I don't know. So we're talking about. You gotta try standing. That's awesome. Yeah. So. But he'll break a pillow out. He'll say, honey, get ready.
Starting point is 00:29:00 And he'll lay a pillow on the ground. He'll say. None of that happened. What was the orgasm rate you say women have with you? This is crazy. It was first of all, I was she validated it It's only but it's not to say it's not it's not every single time. It's not me girls coming. Oh every single time No, how about how much would you say? Yeah? She is my girlfriend is very like, you know knows how to Get there. She knows how to get there
Starting point is 00:29:27 She's like a Tesla Like I've said I'm not I'm not like us, you know, I'm not claimed to fame of like mega talent in this area It's just that I you know, I'm just fortunate with somebody. Yeah Yes You know, I'm just fortunate with somebody that... Yeah. She's communicative and she knows her own body. Yes. You're communicative. I am communicative as well. You're also communicative.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Yeah. And you're very vocal in the bedroom, aren't you? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. I'm just kidding. I can't do this. Wait, wait, wait. Please let me go.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Like what? Well, I mean, it's just, you know, whatever. You know, we actually... This is too close to life, like, wait, please let me go. Like what? Like what? Well, I mean, it's just, you know, whatever, you know, we actually, this is too close to life, like the show, because we do talk about this on one of the episodes. But yeah, like, you know, Dirty Talk or General Grunt. Either or. Either or. General Grunt. What's your favorite grunt?
Starting point is 00:30:19 Do you have a grunt you got? No, no, no, I don't. There's no place. He's a god. General Grunt What's your favorite grunt? No, no, no, I don't Please, please, God I swear to God, I Please do that
Starting point is 00:30:34 Please, just give us an example of a general grunt General grunt would be like Lock it, lock it Lock it Lock it! Lock it! Lock it! Lock it! Lock it! Oh man! That's so fucking gross!
Starting point is 00:30:50 So, so, when would that happen, Derv? What point in time, sex, would that happen? Whenever, whenever! Whenever you want it! Whenever I want it, whenever I'm just feeling overwhelmed with masculine energy.
Starting point is 00:31:08 I go, ugh. Is there a way to communicate your pleasure to her? It's just to let it out. I communicate things to her about how she... Can you give us an example? Can you re-act out? Absolutely not. That's the most you got is the grunt.
Starting point is 00:31:27 That's the grunt. That's a lot. That was very generous. Crazy, I would have never ever done that. Yeah. That's crazy. That was beautiful. We haven't even talked about your porn that you like.
Starting point is 00:31:35 This is, we've gone real life. We're fine, we don't need to get into that. Whole catalog online. Yeah, this is every podcast I've ever done with a picture. Well documented. All right guys, stay at break for a second. Listen, if you are tired of juggling five different supplements every single morning, let me tell you.
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Starting point is 00:34:15 Breaking news, a brand new game is now live at Bet365. Introducing Prize Matcher, a daily game that's never ordinary. All you have to do is match as many tiles as you can, and the more you match, the better. We also have top table games like our incredible super spin roulette, blackjack, and a huge selection of slots. So there you have it. How can you match that?
Starting point is 00:34:34 Check out prize matcher and see why it's never ordinary at bet 365. Must be 19 or older, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connexontario.ca, T's and Z's apply. There is one story that I would love you guys to tell if you would have mind. It's the one that you told on your pod about when you got catfished.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Oh, fuck. Oh. Yeah, that sucks. You have to if you don't want to. Well, I'm happy to do it. And we can cut it if you don't want to. No, no, this is not. Because it's a forewarning to other people.
Starting point is 00:35:07 It's utterly humiliating. Yeah, so I got catfished into masturbating on the internet. And uh... Shame! Shame! Come on! Come on! Shame!
Starting point is 00:35:20 I'm sorry. You got catfished? Yeah. Masturbating on the internet. I did. I'm an idiot. It couldn't happen to anyone. Sorry, you got catfished masturbating on the internet. I did, I'm an idiot. It could happen to anyone. Yeah, so the story is in the one,
Starting point is 00:35:33 but the one part that I remember when we were talking, because I actually listened back to that when it was on YouTube. So I was in Los Angeles on an internship and I was like very lonely. And that's when you were saying, you're like, yeah, when you're internship, and I was very lonely. And that's when you were saying, you're like, yeah, when you're lonely, you just, you know? So there was this, it was called Lava Life,
Starting point is 00:35:52 which was like a... Sounds familiar. Yeah, it was like a dating slash... Was there a commercial for it on TV? Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Like a late night thing?
Starting point is 00:36:03 Yeah. Oh yeah, they had a budget. Well, no, because it was like yeah. Definitely. Like a late night thing? Yeah. Oh yeah, they had a budget. Well no, because it was like, the thing was it was like dating or friends or intimacy. And so like, you know, you obviously, you're hoping for some intimacy. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fair. Very fair. And then, yeah, it was just utterly like.
Starting point is 00:36:19 What was the app or whatever? Lava Life? Yeah. Explain it. Didn't I just do that? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, you did. Didn't you explain that it was like a Skype, like Zoom thing?
Starting point is 00:36:32 Well no, because she, so we were, like I was texting with a person. Oh, you met her on the app. Yeah. And then. And then they were like, you know, I like go home and watch you. Take it to the next level.
Starting point is 00:36:42 And this was a while ago? Yeah. Yeah. I'm 42 going on 42 24 25 so this is a very mid 20s thing So they so they were like, you know, bubba-ba and I'm typing stuff that like if Shane ever found it, I would just kill myself. And that's the end of it.
Starting point is 00:37:11 I can't have him ever see this. He was like, blah blah blah, choke you or whatever. And then, so he was like, I'm wanting to see me naserate. And I was like, sure, you do it. And then, you know, in that mind-set, she said my camera's not working. And then, you know, you just go, oh yeah, it's not working.
Starting point is 00:37:38 And so she sent photos of just, you know, and then I Yeah, so you've filmed yourself yeah, yeah face no face face Oh my god, yes, and then when it was over Yes, this person just wrote, LOL thanks, and then closed the chat window. And I was just like, what am I, my life's over. Yeah. How did you, why did you share that with them?
Starting point is 00:38:11 You're a bad person. Look at all these guys. Why? No, there's just. In all fairness, I share it because it is what it is. I did it. And then also, if you. Hell yeah, that was sick.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Yeah, and then if you. Fucking stanin' all day. Anybody. You're ruthless, dude. You're ruthless. No, I'm not. If anybody else is hearing this, it's if somebody's asking you to masturbate.
Starting point is 00:38:34 Don't. Don't. Or, make sure they're like holdin' up a newspaper and they're actually a video team. You gotta verify. And like, it's just not worth it. Because it feels horrible. It's my newspaper.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Yeah, that'd be so shitty. It was really, yeah, and I was thinking it through. I was like, what if they contact? Were you living in a living room? I was in a dining room. I was renting, so I just had curtains hung up. You went home, right? Didn't you move home? Well, after internship, And then you went home, right? Didn't you move home?
Starting point is 00:39:06 Well, after internship, of course I went home. It was a blow-up mattress. I thought it was for comedy that you wrote. No, it was internship. I tried to do comedy. It was not good. You tried, wait, stand-up? He's really good at stand-up.
Starting point is 00:39:19 I would think you're not. No, he is really good. But that's how I met everybody. But 18 years ago, none of us were good. He's really good. But you three met. I believe that. 18 years ago, none of us were good. He's really good. But you three met. I believe that. In Philly doing stand up.
Starting point is 00:39:28 I met McKeever. So basically like the story, like I met, McKeever and I came up at the same time. He is, he truly is fantastic. Yeah, he's brilliant. Which is cool, but, and then I got seen and they said you gotta to come to New York So I moved to New York failed when I came back. I was like very sad and John
Starting point is 00:39:53 McKeever would you know still continue put me in everything but that was when he was like have you heard of Shane Gillis? And I was like no and he was like he's the funniest guy I've ever seen you guys have to do something together So you come into the scene you're a few do something together. So you come into the scene, you're a few years younger. Yeah. You come into the scene while you're in New York. He had, yeah, he had like about to stop doing it. And what about McKeever? Was McKeever?
Starting point is 00:40:16 McKeever stopped kind of right when I got there. Yeah. Which that was crazy. He's... He is just that good. He won't do stand-up for like two years. I'll be like come to a spot and he'll just murder Is he like a tortured artist kind of like that, you know, I don't know Yeah, I shouldn't talk about him he's not here
Starting point is 00:40:35 But I think he just like he's very good at like writing directing and I don't think he just he wants to focus there That's great. I've never got to meet him. So I'm just asked. Yeah. Yeah Okay, so you'm just asking. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so you're coming up. I'm just very normal. Yeah, great. Just a regular fucking guy. Great.
Starting point is 00:40:50 And really great on set. Yeah. And the sketches, I've seen him and he's terrible. And he's a really good actor. Yeah. He's probably the best of us. He's fantastic. But I want to learn some, like, lore for all you guys.
Starting point is 00:41:00 So you're coming in the scene. Are you aware of these guys at the time? I didn't know Gerben. You knew Makita? But I had heard about him. They all told me he was great. I was like obsessed with Tommy and McKeever and you threw Delco proper. I knew about them before I moved to Philly. I think I like DM'd McKeever like, can I please just watch you guys film? I just wanted to learn how to do it. I have a few of those
Starting point is 00:41:25 yeah DM in the OGs I had a DM to him before we met and then we actually met and then I deleted the DM first time I ever featured at helium comedy club was for Bert crusher get out of here I emailed him about more because he was obviously he was hammered and he was telling me like yeah I'll take you on the road whatever you want I was like yeah fuck yeah this is gonna change my life so I like sent him like a long email of like I think you and me mesh really well and And I think we should, and it was his birthday, and I closed the email with like happy birthday. And he just never responded. And then me, him, and Stan Hope were doing a podcast together
Starting point is 00:42:12 and I was like, I actually emailed you a while ago and it's really embarrassing. And he's like, I have the same Gmail. I'm gonna look it up right now. He read it. And he read the fucking email. Oh wow. And then Stan Hope was like, actually Bert,
Starting point is 00:42:22 you fucking emailed me, you fucking loser. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was pretty awesome. Oh, that's Bert. Bert's was way worse. And then Stan Hope was like actually Burt you fucking emailed me you fucking loser Burt's was way worse Burt's was like, I know we don't know each other, but I'm on the road and it's real depressing Okay, so you're coming up you're a fan of those guys yeah quickly get Popularity in the Philly scene. Yeah. When you came to Philly, you had like how much time, you think? It was passable, 20 minutes, 30 minutes?
Starting point is 00:42:52 15, yeah. Okay, like, all right, so you go, you get people start to know who you are, funny fast. Yeah. You get the attention of McKeever and Tommy and those guys, they bring you in? They did, yeah. Because I, well also I was like booking shows
Starting point is 00:43:07 and being like, as them as the headliner. I was like, I'm gonna get Tommy Pope on the road. Wow, wow. I was like, come to Harrisburg and do a show. So you were doing local spots. Yeah. And then getting the Philly guys to come out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:18 That's how I got to know them a little. And then, yeah, that was it. They brought me in. And then when do you first start doing any sort of sketch stuff with those guys? I was in Delco Proper as like a background person. Lumpire, yeah. Yeah, it was an umpire. You were really funny in that.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Yeah, that was funny. Yeah, that was it. Can you give a breakdown of Delco Proper to everybody listening? Go ahead. Delco Proper, it was like John and Tommy worked at a lumber shop. Right, but this is a show I think that you guys sold to Comedy Central.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Comedy Central, they made. This was around COVID, like it kinda got. It was only before that actually, I think it was like 2015. Oh wow. Yeah. Okay. And yeah, so they and
Starting point is 00:44:05 Comedy Central bought up to a pilot. This was like a time when they were buying They they made a I think it's all lines called the funeral. It's so funny. Yeah And then Comedy Central bought three more webs shorts from them and then a pilot and then they passed And it was kind of the the time where I think it was a little bit like... Yeah, it was 2015. Yeah. 2016, it's like... The climate was a little different.
Starting point is 00:44:29 You guys can't be white. Yeah. All right. That seems like you're going to run your company into the ground. So when do you come to New York? 2019. Was there any pushback from the guys in Philly?
Starting point is 00:44:43 No. Everybody was like... Everyone was like, good, but here in Philly? No, everybody was like After was that after SNL? No, I got us know like right when I'm okay We were on the way here. It was very funny cuz I was like, I love New York I miss New York and I was like there was one week when I knew I was getting SNL and no one else knew and I was just walking around the city like the city like what a beautiful fucking city. A fucking dream. This is incredible.
Starting point is 00:45:08 And then the next week I got fired and I was walking around like fucking hate. Fucking everyone here sucks. How soon after when we were at JFL together? That was it. That was when I got asked to go. Okay. Now when we were at the Chinese restaurant, did you already know? No. It was from that night. I remember you had a set and you and you're very usually you just say you bomb all the time yeah
Starting point is 00:45:29 which is hard to believe but I think I think this one which is I think this one you were like no I think I did pretty good like you felt good yeah and I ran the light and I looked over to Jeff singer and I was like, am I good to run it? And he was like, Oh, he said keep going. That's huge. Yeah, that was cool. Okay, so you find out the next day? No, no, they they were just there. They had seen it. Got it. Got it. Got it. They hired me. But uh, no, I didn't find out. I don't think for a little while. Okay. Yeah, but that was 2019 and Yeah, I forget what I'm saying I'm trying to get the lore and how all you guys are still connected. Yeah, yeah because we so we had made tires is like a
Starting point is 00:46:23 You know short. Yeah, and when was it? Sorry, uh, this problem. Oh, yeah, we made tires like a long time Yeah, like 2016 17 somewhere around there and the first time we just shot test footage I think that was our first time like really hanging out. Yeah, and he was phenomenal and then I wonder how nice I was to you I bet we were pantsing me Forever I paid him to be in the show and he was torturing me. And then it was like overdrafting Chipotle charges at that time and just being a menace. But he was so funny. And so like the first time we shot test footage, because we would only have it for a Sunday, so we would try and shoot like eight or ten pages in a Sunday.
Starting point is 00:47:10 We'd like get in there as quick as we could. And then we almost got it, and then we shot it another time, and then the third time is what ended up being online for a while, which was really fun. And then after that was Gillian Keeves, which you helped out a lot. I don't know if I did anything for him. Oh you did, we probably wouldn't have made it. Well, I appreciate that. Yeah, it was nice.
Starting point is 00:47:31 Thank you. Because John wasn't totally listening to me and I was like, he's gonna listen to Schultz. You know, you've shown the model. Then there was like a production company you guys needed to get on board for that. I feel like they were a little hesitant or something like that.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Everyone was pretty hesitant. I remember I saw a sketch. I knew it was going to work. Fuck. I remember I saw a sketch, I forget even which one, but I remember I hit you up immediately after. And I was like, this is the funniest shit that I've ever seen. It was just unbelievable. And it was so different. I think there was like a lot of sketch on ISIS Toyo. I don't think that was the one. I think it was something else. Anyway, and I hit you up, I was like, this is the funniest fucking shit. You're like, yeah, I think we're trying to, you're like, I want to make a season. I want to like put this thing together. I'm trying to convince these guys. This was during COVID actually. Cause
Starting point is 00:48:16 we were in Miami. Yeah. Yeah. And then you released your special too at that time. Has that been wild to see what's happened with his career? Of course. Do you go to the arena shows? Is it like, put things in perspective? It doesn't, it doesn't, like we know how good he is, so it's not like a shock to, but it is still weird, but it's also like, I mean, I get a bottle,
Starting point is 00:48:42 but he's my favorite comic. Don't be good. All right. I mean, I. Be a little bit.'s my favorite comic. Don't be good. All right. I mean, I mean. Be a little bit. Be a little bit. Be a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:49 I mean, he's so funny. Yeah. And so it's not like super, like. You're not surprised by the success? It's insane that anyone is doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's wild to see. No one should be doing it in an arena.
Starting point is 00:48:59 It's crazy. It's crazy out there. Yeah. It's crazy. But I remember the first time I saw you, because McKeever had sent me your TED Talk, because that was during, no, that's a really good talk. Oh, thanks man.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Especially like, just like he said, this was the time, 2015, 2016, where it was like, yeah, you're gonna have to find a different way. Yeah. You know, and. God damn the whites. Yeah. The whites is overkill.
Starting point is 00:49:22 We'll find a way. The industry was like, you can't be white. We were find a way. The industry was like, he can't be white. We were like, well now the industry's dead. Let that be a lesson for you. The white was like, uh, we're gonna decide who the next president is. I mean, you gotta see Shane throw a first pitch at a baseball game. Like, you must be so excited for him. Of course I was excited. Of course I was excited for him. Nasty little fuck, dude. I mean you gotta see Shane throw a first pitch at a baseball game Wanted me to fall down
Starting point is 00:49:57 The first thing you said when he came back after First thing you said from the mound you threw a perfect strike. I don't get like excited It's just joking certain angles it looks pretty good some other angles it looks terrible But I usually don't get like Excited or proud. Yeah of a lot of the things I do, but that time, I was like, that was such a relief. That was such a relief, because that was the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done.
Starting point is 00:50:31 I was standing on the mound like, oh, don't fuck this up, don't fuck this up. And I was like proud of myself. I have a video of it, it's very funny. I get done throwing it, and I'm like, let's watch it. Let's watch it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Gervs. Gervs, nasty ass. This is on MLB.com. See, I'm telling you, it's a great fucking drill. Watch what he pulls on. It's still up there, bro. He does have very good form. Hack Stadium.
Starting point is 00:50:59 No, I don't. You do. Well, I didn't know we were going to watch the video. It wasn't a good pitch. I'm not standing by this. I didn't know you were that nervous. I remember this exact moment. Oh dude, I can't imagine how nervous you were.
Starting point is 00:51:13 If you go back to that... Because every bad first pitch lives online forever. Oh yeah. I reached for a high five to the fanatic and he was high fiving my nephew. On the walk out I was like... Yeah, that's not a great way to start. What was the documentary where they included, was it all 9-11 or something where they included George Bush's opening pitch. That's one of America's greatest moments. That was up there. That's fucking heater. In New York, a strike just going. It's all time. Did you see the Osama doc?
Starting point is 00:51:45 What was it part of? What was the documentary? Osama throughout the first pitch? Yeah. He's not a second one. He's not. And a ball. A couple balls in the summer session.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Paint to the corner of the Pentagon corner. Okay, are we not getting that video up? That's all right. We don't need that. We got some technical difficulties. It's okay. Yeah, we need a producer tag right here though. Yeah, we need a producer tag.
Starting point is 00:52:01 We're going to have to get a producer tag. We're going to have to get a producer tag. We're going to have to get a producer tag. We're going to have to get a producer tag. We're going to have to get a producer tag. We're going to have to get a producer tag. We're going to have to get a producer tag. We're going to have to get a producer tag. Okay, are we not getting that video up? That's not it. We don't need that. We got some technical difficulties, that's okay. Yeah, we need a producer tag right here though.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Yeah. Miles made himself producer tags. Miles, please. I wasn't ready, I didn't know I was on... You didn't know you were working? I'm gonna use the bathroom. Go, go, go, go. All right guys, let's take a break for a second.
Starting point is 00:52:24 We gotta talk about this, this Nick's tragedy. Yeah, it is. It was a tragedy, man. It was, it was tough. I mean, going into the half, it was tied. I think we were tied to half. I was like, were we down one or something like that? It was down four. Down four? Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:42 But it was close and like it was competitive. And then they came out in the third and it was just unbelievable. Yeah, I remember y'all it was 15 and then y'all got it down to like seven or eight or something maybe nine and I was like Oh, okay. Yeah, low momentum. Just quick. And then yeah, it was Yeah, you just can't play It just felt like we didn't have enough strategy offensively or defensively Like they ran this double pick and roll whenever Brunson was in the game and within seconds Brunson is guarding the biggest guy on their team.
Starting point is 00:53:10 We had no kind of plan for it and apparently like you know if Kat and Brunson are in the game Kat can't like show what you see a lot of times in pick and roll where like the big kind of like steps out and then fades back so that the guy can't like slide under it. But apparently they're like they don't know if he's fast enough to do that or whatever. But they just did an amazing job of exposing our two most prolific players. There's no question that Brunson and Catter are prolific. But their lack of defensive ability against this team, who's guarding you 94 feet, like, it was unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:53:43 There was times during the game where they were locking down on D and the whole place going, D, fans are chanting. And it was mesmerizing. We were playing scared. Looked like it. We were playing scared. We weren't helping out.
Starting point is 00:53:55 They would double team Jaylen. The leak outs this series, I haven't watched them much this year, but I was amazed at how many leak outs there were and then just cuts to the basket that were wide open layups. Great finds a lot by Halliburton or whatever, but like... Just lost on D. Yeah, just... And Tibbs is supposed to be a D guy. Yeah. And he did, listen, he did a great job with the team and like I do believe in the team and Mitchell Robinson played phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Like his ability to like crash offensive boards, like cause chaos was great, but we got out strategized here. And we need to, if we're gonna go back with this same team, it's gotta be, we just have to acknowledge what's going on. You know, like Jaylen is unstoppable offensively, he's one of the most amazing offensive players I've ever seen, but when he's on the floor, if there aren't four amazing defenders with him,
Starting point is 00:54:43 it can be exposed. And it was. And when he was off the floor, you saw us hold leads, you saw us, like, at times, make comebacks. It's because we could actually lock up and defend. But unfortunately, when we had those defensive teams in there, they didn't have the firepower. If that first game goes the other way. I was going to say, if that Halliburton thing down there, that shot doesn't bounce in. Crazy bounce.
Starting point is 00:55:04 I want to say that it would've been different, but like this, you gotta give credit to the Pacers. They're a better team. They figured it out. They figured it out. They figured us out. I think that's... We didn't make adjustments.
Starting point is 00:55:14 This is the first time I've ever watched the Knicks lose a game and I thought the rest were on our side. Like I'm there in the arena and I'm watching the game get called going like, are we getting some calls here? Did it feel that way when you're watching at home? So you gotta give credit to the Pacers, man. I'm there in the arena and I'm watching the game get called going like, are we getting some calls here? Did it feel that way when you're watching at home? So, you gotta give credit to the Pacers, man. I was like, there was times where I wanted the call,
Starting point is 00:55:31 I was like, nah, they got that right. You think Pacers take it in the final? I don't. It's gonna be interesting. You don't think so? I haven't watched much this year, but because of Luca, that trade broke me, but Oklahoma City, when I watched them in the playoffs,
Starting point is 00:55:45 the defense is just like, on fucking, this is locked down. Nobody's beating that team. They're fucking killing. I mean, it would be nice as a consolation prize to lose to the winners. I would love it, yeah. But, yeah. And if you wanna drown your New York Knicks misery
Starting point is 00:56:00 by betting, you gotta go to stake. It's the leader in global betting in US social casinos. You can bet on top sports and political events Eric Adams, how's he gonna handle this loss? Will the city rebound? Probably not gonna be up in flames in a month And if you sign up use a promo code flag and you get a welcome bonus now, let's get back to the show All right. Let's talk about Steve Jacken off. No All right, let's record Steve talking about Jackenoff. You have to yell the lines for him to see it. What is this? It's a skylight. Is that like made or is this part of it? No, the sky's up there. That's what the sky looks like. If you open that,
Starting point is 00:56:39 you would just go to the sky. It's a beautiful day. Outer space. Yeah. It's just very interesting. Yeah, you like that. Where are the lights? Yeah, you like that where the lights yeah, we're the lights No, there's a perfect amount of light today. Did were you outside ever? Did you look up and see this guy's window? Yeah matter of fact, I think it's starting to get a little late I'd like to pretend I was in on the bit, but that one got me. I was literally like, fuck. Fuck. But now it's better. It's nice and great.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Cool. This is Miles. Miles even has a producer tag. Good job, Miles. Welcome. You've got... Miles. Goodbye.
Starting point is 00:57:24 That's really good. He drops it every time. Yeah, you know, every once in a while. I mean, if it gets violent, he's got other ones, you know, if it's a little bit more violent. Yeah, depending on the guests. Yeah. Miles near the podcast. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:57:43 How has no one else done this yet? I don't know, but it's fantastic. Kiss of Savant, dude. Yeah, that's awesome. How has no one else done this yet? I don't know, but it's fantastic. Kids of Savant, dude. Yeah, that's great. You've been waiting for that. Your whole life. I can't wait to get one of those. The cannons. Damn, son. Where did you find this?
Starting point is 00:57:58 You ever hear that one? You gotta get that one. If you say my name, I'll put it in the next producer tag. Into that camera. You say Miles, and I'll just... Miles. That's a banger. say my name I'll put it in the next producer tag oh that camera you say miles and I'll just miles That's a banger unfortunately Okay, we're back Are you how do you keep writing new jokes? I haven't.
Starting point is 00:58:26 That's a lie. Stop it. I'm like, I've seen you tour and it's like, relentless. Have you taken any time off outside of tires in the last four years? No. Wow. Wow. No, are we supposed to?
Starting point is 00:58:44 I need to. Yeah, I am, I'd like to, yeah. I probably will at the end of this tour. You're going to film something, I assume. Yeah, I'm going to do the rest of this arena tour. What a fucking, that's a nice thing. Are you just sensitized to the arenas yet? No, it's still. Every time you're like, fuck.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Yeah, like last night it was like, god damn. Derrick Poston says a thing to them. It takes two basketball teams to fill up that arena. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Like last night we were watching the next game and I was like, I sold that. Yeah. Also great arena. Shout out to the Indiana fans. I just want to say like, they are phenomenal. Like, I'm walking in, I'm thinking it's gonna be beef, they're gonna be annoyed, we came in with gear and everything, there's even a little part of me like, I might be an asshole, like what the hell. Yeah, but at the same time, they were like so sweet,
Starting point is 00:59:33 but also like, you're gonna lose, but they were sweet, and they were like almost, they're the best. Yeah, they're awesome. Truly. Hoosier hospitality or something, it was unbelievable. Indianapolis is slept on, as I said. I love Indianapolis. Truly slept on. Isn't it Nap Town town? Isn't that what they call it?
Starting point is 00:59:46 That's what they call it. It's all small town people that go to a place. So it's kind of got a city, but everyone's got no ego. I've been there once or twice and both times I've been like, this is great. No, Indianapolis is awesome. Anyway, so you're in Iowa, you do this arena and then you take a flight here. Yeah. Yeah. Now? No, it was, you would have liked this. Before I went on stage, Soder was with me on the road
Starting point is 01:00:06 and while they were announcing me to go on stage, I looked at him and I was like, I just wanted to do a Wednesday night at Helium. What the fuck is this? That was my dream. I was like, I hope I get one night at Helium. I don't know, this is out of control. I don't know what the fuck's going on, dude.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Also, Money For Nothin', unreal. Yeah. You played it for us and I was like, it's kind of slaps. But hearing it in the arena, like from someone's phone, I was like, yeah, this is the one. Yeah, it's awesome. My girlfriend picked that. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:35 And I didn't want to like it. Because it was her suggestion. Yeah, she suggested it. And I was like, turn this shit the fuck off. What are you talking about? And then it hit, and I was like. All right, let's move on. All like, eh. That's not bad. All right guys, let's take a break for a second.
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Starting point is 01:03:34 A fan of her? Yeah. Her only? You subscribe? Yeah. I don't subscribe to her only fans, but yeah. You support her? Definitely.
Starting point is 01:03:42 Really? I've seen one of her videos. How was it great? Did you like it? You like it as much as you could like something as much as you physically could like something I think was Johnny Sims sins. Oh since yeah. Sims, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a tough to watch. Yeah, yeah. That guy gets after it.
Starting point is 01:04:07 I don't like that shit. That guy gets way too after it. I don't know if it was him, so I don't mean, but she was. I do that too, where you don't know the dick. You're like, I can't recognize it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's sick is now. I'm not sure it was him.
Starting point is 01:04:18 Got covered in tattoos. I've seen it a million times. Holy balls. I know him in every occupation. I could draw the veins of Rick from backroom casting Alright so Bonnie you're not into the the mass sex thing. I didn't see the mass. Yeah, I've never gotten my hands on Yeah In your mid-twenties would you have pulled up something like that you
Starting point is 01:05:00 What like like an open call like no way? No, no, no, that's not my thing. Was there always part of you jerking off on Skype? You would jerk it off on Skype. Yeah, but that's scary. It's private. That's private. Yeah, it's a private thing. That's a wild catfish. Do you remember the from the stern days Houston 420? Yeah, of course. Yeah, the Houston 500. The Houston 500. Yeah, yeah. What was that? Houston was this girl. Yeah, and then she took 500 dudes. She did it.
Starting point is 01:05:29 I think she did it, yeah. And then the new ladies- Everybody's just doing Stern by themselves. Oh yeah. The new ones, Bonnie Blue doing 1,000. I think she did 1,000. Oh, what the fuck? We gotta get her the Will Chamberlain sign.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like 100%? Yeah. Oh man, that's a real crime against God. I mean, seeing all the dudes with the steam hats. Maybe that's because she felt like she was called from God to do it. I'm not like super religious, but like that's like, I'm like that's... There's a number. I mean, once you get a triple dish.
Starting point is 01:06:00 A thousand is a lot. Fucking 50s, crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 28 guys, fuck this is nuts. Do you think you'd even be able to perform in that environment? I don't think I'd. Fucking no shot. I can't perform in a fucking dark room.
Starting point is 01:06:18 The lights are out, I'm like oh shit. Yeah, we don't give enough credit for the guys who are getting up for this. Yeah. They're psychopaths, man. That's not a fucking credit. They're'm like, oh shit. Yeah, we don't give enough credit for the guys who are getting up for this. Yeah. They're psychopaths, man. No, they're like, they're all like kids, I heard. It's really fucked up. How's it really, they're kids?
Starting point is 01:06:31 Yeah, like they're like 18, 19 year old kids. And they just come in with a ski mask. Some of their moms show up and like pull them out of line. There is a mom who pulled up and pulled a kid out. Tough luck. It's a great mom. Yeah, it's a great mom, but that's gotta be the most embarrassing thing on both levels. You're getting pulled out of line, everybody's seeing you, and then you gotta deal with great mom. Yeah, it's a great mom, but that's gotta be the most embarrassing thing on both levels.
Starting point is 01:06:45 You're getting pulled out of line, everybody's seeing you, and then you gotta deal with your mom. Be like, you try to fuck that girl, and fuck a thousand guys. And you're so horny. Yeah. And you're still horny. Yeah, you gotta jack off when you get home.
Starting point is 01:06:56 You know what we need? We need the pitch, that's what we need. I brought this up to you. The inverse Bonnie Blue, I think, is more impressive. Oh, way more impressive. Oh, absolutely. I've got to fuck a thousand women in a day I think, is more impressive. Oh, way more impressive. Oh, absolutely. A guy fucks a thousand women in a day? In one day.
Starting point is 01:07:07 Yeah. Well, it's impossible. That's what we say. Yeah. True. That's what we say. Yeah, men can't fly. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:07:15 How are we going to fly around? I was thinking about the JFK speech. Like, why does Rice Bike tax us? We choose to fuck a thousand women. Why does Bonnie Blue fuck a thousand guys? Not because it's easy. Not because it is hard. Like a cancer walk, but for dicks?
Starting point is 01:07:23 Exactly. Like, you know, it's a lot of fun. We choose to fuck a thousand women. Why does Bonnie Blue fuck a thousand guys? Not because it's easy. Not because it is hard. Like a cancer walk, but for dicks? Exactly. I'd be into that. I'd donate. Schultz, I know what your little evil ass is doing.
Starting point is 01:07:35 Listen, no, no. First of all, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. God damn, crowd going nuts. You see what I'm up against? That was like fucking inner Milan. That was like, we're just at see what I'm up against? I was like fucking, in and Milan. I was in and it was like San Siro. That was crazy. Okay, alright, go, go. They ice me.
Starting point is 01:07:54 Nervous. I like that step. Yeah! You're so proud. Bryce, legend. Can we see that? It's crazy how big Bryce is. Bryce is the man. He doesn't look that big with the nexus jeans.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Actually, right there, he was, and Steve refuses to admit this, but he, same thing the Texas pitcher was saying that I was throwing a shout out to Ace, he was like, you got a little break on that. Oh, not kidding. Oh, not kidding. And then right there. Now he's going too far, Gary. I swear to God. He's that. Stop. Stop it. Oh, not kidding. Oh, come on, dude. Come on.
Starting point is 01:08:25 And then right there. Now he's going too far, Gary. I swear to God. He's going too far. I agree. I don't refuse to admit that. Let's get a better angle on that. That was a crazy angle.
Starting point is 01:08:32 You had a little break. Get out of here, Shane. I swear to God. Shane, get out of here. Bryce Harper's first words are good. You got a little break on that. No, no, no. I was like, no.
Starting point is 01:08:40 It's possible that the pitch was just dying. For sure. But the guy knows baseball. It's over there. But that's believable. I could buy that. Did you clock it? Do you know what you came in? That must have been 50. Oh wait, we got it, we got it, we got it.
Starting point is 01:08:55 No, I was not even close. No, no. It's pretty far away, dude. I'd like to see one of you butt fuckers. I'd like to see one of you butt fuckers try this. It's so scary. Look at that. Oh man, Stingy was going nuts.
Starting point is 01:09:07 Cool. That's not bad, dude. Right down the middle. That's not bad at all. There's the miss high five. No, I'd be very hyped if I called that. I thought I was dead. I thought I was.
Starting point is 01:09:15 And everybody says just getting on the mound for some reason fucks you up. You have no idea why. It changes everything. It's shocking how far away the catcher is. And when they get in the stance, it's like they're so close. They're so close. They're so close. I thought I was... And everybody says just getting on the mound for some reason fucks you up. You have no idea why. It changes everything. It's shocking how far away the catcher is.
Starting point is 01:09:28 And when they get in the stance, it's like they're small. It's like... Yeah. I'm fucking Bryce Harper. Are you already imagining the internet reaction if it doesn't go well? I knew I was going to look like a dumb ass throwing. I thought the throw was fine. No, that was great.
Starting point is 01:09:42 That was fine. You look good. But if you... Like, you know, 50 Cent had the immortal throw out, right? Yeah, that was great. Yeah, it was fine. You look good But if you like, you know 50 cent had the immortal throwout, right? Yeah, that was rough But he going to do it. I was cocky. I was talking my friends. I was like, I might check it throw it to first Okay, so you got to throw a pitch out. Yes. This is happening when? Again. Looks like July 20th.
Starting point is 01:10:08 Yeah. July 20th. Oh, that's Gerby Day at Citizen's Bank. Everybody listen to this. That's Gerby Day at Citizen Bank. Get there early. I might think. Get there early so you see the opening pitch and fucking make some noise.
Starting point is 01:10:21 Can we get like a bobblehead made for him or something that would give out? 100%. We could do something. We could make it big. You are a bobble we get like a bobblehead made for him or something that would give out? 100%. We could do something? You are a bit of a fucking bobblehead. I'm a regular bobblehead. I've never heard that before. Do you remember to them, like before you even went out, you were wearing that jersey and I was just like,
Starting point is 01:10:36 why'd you give all your name on it? Like, he gave this to me. Yeah, he thought I wore a fucking ghillie. Ghillie? Yes. And you had it made? He's a cocksucker, dude. What? That's a cocksucker thing.
Starting point is 01:10:51 You were trying to get in his head, right? That's not. If you were trying to get in his head. Before, yes, and you were shooting against me. He makes fun of anything that I wear. You would do it to him. You got a baseball jersey tailored, and it looks like a girl's jersey. It does look like a girl's jersey.
Starting point is 01:11:04 It instantly, he got those sleeves raised. it looks like a girl's jersey. It does look like a girl's jersey. He got those sleeves raised. It looks like a women's... He said the pre-mancipality, these things hang off me. 100% tailored. Yeah, it's from China. Yeah, and so I can't wear it now outside of the house because I do feel very insecure about it. Because he's right, it looks like a woman's jersey on me. Yeah, and so I can't wear it now outside of the house because I do feel very insecure about it. Because he's right, it looks like a woman's jersey on me.
Starting point is 01:11:27 Yeah, if you elevate the sleeves on a baseball jersey just as a woman's. Okay, you know how sometimes you'll text me a picture of a dude bending over holding his dick or something like that? Yeah. But you'll do it, you'll airdrop it to me. It's a really great fun joke.
Starting point is 01:11:46 We're on a plane, okay, he just sends it over, I accept this thing, I'm like, oh, it's gonna be a adorable picture, and there's a guy who's like hard dick, and there's some old woman next to me, like what the fuck is this guy looking at? He's just in the corner laughing. It's a great fun thing.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Have you done this with any of the new uber famous people that you've met? Like, how early into your relationship do you be Shane with them? And has it ever backfired? Jeez. This is off topic but not famous, but I do that to my dad a lot, which is very funny.
Starting point is 01:12:15 That's right. Anybody who's a dad, just Google men's naked ass and click images and then copy it, send it to your dad. And see. Hey! Put it on his glasses. No, this does not work with my dad. We did this with my dad.
Starting point is 01:12:33 Send guys naked ass. Bro, he was like, Fred, dude, New Year's, he was like, me, my brother-in-law, he's in the Navy, like my other brother, like it's just a bunch of guys, and we're doing Ligma jokes and so I just threw out like a Ligma something and then my dad just chirps up and goes Ligma
Starting point is 01:13:01 I just threw up a Ligma and then my dad just kind of pipes in randomly goes, what is Ligma? And all of us just go, like, just kind of put our heads down like, fuck. And then I kind of had to walk him into it and be like, Ligma balls. And my dad was like, I don't like this. What's funny? My dad's actually worked out. I don't like these jokes.
Starting point is 01:13:21 And so we had to explain the whole thing to him. And by then he goes, don't do this around me. We're the first generation of white dudes that are gay. Do things like that. And think gay, black dudes are still on... No, they're getting there. No, they are on it, dude. We're coming around.
Starting point is 01:13:35 We're coming around. You joined it? It's fun. I got caught at MSG. What? I'm going to Nick Game at MSG, and I've been catching Charlamagne on Brilliant Idiots every single episode. It's to the point where the comments are I've been catching Charlemagne on brilliant idiots every single episode
Starting point is 01:13:45 It's to the point where like the comments are like man Charlemagne is too curious Imagine dragons or something, you know, imagine dragons, right? No Six straight months and I'm walking into the game and the guy stops me. He goes, do you have the end of my? And I go, what? He goes, I just need to see the end of my. I go, the end of my what? Or whatever.
Starting point is 01:14:13 And he goes, the end of my dick in your mouth. The guy who works at MFG. He goes, I had to do it for Charlotte. So black dudes are all in. Black guy got me in Charleston. What'd he say? While we were leaving, like leaving the line, we like took a picture and he goes,
Starting point is 01:14:27 by the way, you gotta bring up Putin on the pod. Like what? He goes, Putin's dick in your mouth. Fuck! Just ruined my whole night. That's nice. Yeah, I mean, it's cool to see, you know. Because our dad, my dad holds it down like a black guy.
Starting point is 01:14:38 Like that was how every single dude throughout civilization, you know, maybe the Greeks, but. That's cool. For a while, every everyone dude's been like, she's gay dude, I don't understand what's funny about it. At least, AD at least. Black dudes, are you sure they're coming around? Yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 01:14:58 For sure. Jamaicans or not? No, no, no, no. My one buddy's Jamaican one time, I have a nice joke where I go, you see this fucking, I got this thing on my neck and then you grab the balls a little, because he takes the dick off your wall.
Starting point is 01:15:12 I did it to my one buddy who's Jamaican and he immediately fucking punched me as hard as he could in the dick. And he was like, it was like a fight at that point. Because he hit me, but I had to, I didn't fight him. I was like, you're right. You can't make contact. How do you explain how it's funny to them?
Starting point is 01:15:33 Yeah, also it's not like I was like hitting his nuts. You were holding him. I was going, hey. Now the contact fucks me up. I can't do the jokes or jokes, but when you're touching them. Contact's hilarious. Yeah, it's funny. We're not there yet Yeah, they're not
Starting point is 01:15:46 with the with the HJ a lot lately just like You just gotta like distract me be like dude have you seen the skylight up here and you just go He doesn't know what to do now we, we white guys play those games. You fucking. Sure, girl. Ah. Fuck. There's nothing else. There's nothing.
Starting point is 01:16:09 That's why I'm sitting over here. Fuck off. Yeah, come over here. You're the body blue. You're the body black. Fuck. Fuck. Come over here.
Starting point is 01:16:18 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Oh, man. I said some gay joke one time, and he goes, don't do that. I go, what? He goes, it makes my skin crawl. Yeah, where's your dad from?
Starting point is 01:16:35 Indian immigrant. He didn't even understand, men were doing this at all. He didn't even know white dudes were doing it, he had no fucking clue. Did you see the gay Indians lately? There's been a whole like pro LGBTQ like movement. Oh no. Can you pull that shit down? This has been all time. They're probably going to come out with the sticks. Indians love fucking running around with sticks and hitting shit. I got like 20 people to send me this. What was that?
Starting point is 01:17:02 There was a thing that there were protesting when they were beating the people? They all... There's a clip of a guy out during, like when we were supposed to be on lockdown. Yeah. And he's just out like riding his bike and then a cop is... Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:13 There's not one example, it's every day. It's a common day, yeah. At all times. There's my favorite, I was going through like a phase in my life where I would watch, just like Jaguars in India, right? There would be a Jaguar, right? The leopard the leopard. Yeah, they get into Indian Villages a lot and it's chaos cuz there's fucking nine billion of them. Yeah the people yeah, you know
Starting point is 01:17:37 I mean the Jaguar is gonna just Please this is very exciting stuff, But again, they're only weapons against sticks. Oh, shit. Oh. No, no, no. Can you start there from the beginning? Because the first guy not paying attention and throwing the stick down is my favorite. Yeah, I have seen.
Starting point is 01:17:55 This guy. Get the fuck out of here. Came through the roof? Came out of the roof. Holy shit. Oh, shit. Everybody has sticks, I'm telling you. It's like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It came out of the roof. Holy shit. Oh shit! Everybody has sticks, I'm telling you dude.
Starting point is 01:18:07 It's like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You seen the convenience store clip? Hey, hey, the life of Pi is more impressive now. When you see this, you're like bro, you're just on a boat with them chillin', that's crazy. You seen the convenience store clip where in America, where the black dude is like stealing all the cigarettes? And the Punjabi guys come with the sticks. We're in America where the black dude is like stealing all the cigarettes It's fire dude, yeah, it's one of the most satisfying clips on the internet Taking cigarettes right just got a whole garbage can empty in the entire store I then the guy behind the counter is like you can't do anything
Starting point is 01:18:47 He's like an employee from America and then look at this Indian guy just chill always eat Punjabi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So this guy's trying to Do the over the head smash. His fucking ECW. Give me a chair, dude. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. I want to talk about one of the most healthy sources of protein on planet Earth, and that is bone broth.
Starting point is 01:19:19 Okay, Ketaline Fire has the best bone broth on the planet. It's natural, it's loaded with nutrients, it's got gelatin and amino acids to support digestion, collagen to help prepare cartilage and support flexibility, immune health, and much more. And one of the most delicious ways to drink bone broth is with kettle and fire. Kettle and fire, that's it, right here.
Starting point is 01:19:38 Mark has been using it. He's on his bone broth kick right now. How's it been going for you? I love it. Eating in your tummy makes you feel great. I mean, nothing better. People have been drinking this for thousands of years. You know what athlete? Is that true? Yeah. Really? Yeah, you take some bones, you put them in a pot, boil it up, drink it. You know what athlete used to drink bone broth every day? Rest in peace with Kobe,
Starting point is 01:19:55 who was like the ultimate nutrition guy. Yeah. Well listen, if you want to add some protein into your favorite dishes, kettle and fire is a perfect way to sneak it in. Or if you're fasting, a little bone broth goes a long way to support an extended fast. Obviously Mark and Alex know all about that. So guys, if you want to join them, head over to KettleandFire.com slash flagrant and use our code flagrant at checkout to get 20% off your first order. Trust me right now, just start cooking your rice with this instead. You're just adding that protein, adding all those natural, beautiful.
Starting point is 01:20:28 Collagen, all the nutrients. Delicious, go get it, get yourself healthy. Remember, KettleInFire.com slash flagrant, the code flagrant, you're getting 20% off. Now let's get back to the show. I just said miles of the gay Indians, it's awesome. All right, let's. They turn those sticks into signs,
Starting point is 01:20:42 and now the signs just say like, we're gay. And then they're doing these protests It's just all time We're talking about I'm Hitler. I said Hitler. I'm Hitler. That's okay. This is good. This is good. What are you talking about? Now America has exported our culture to yeah whatever.
Starting point is 01:21:16 Hey don't worry. They're going to sniff that out. Don't worry about that. It's funny to me like comics can't make jokes in India. How much we've exported our culture to like... Like Australia had BLM. Yeah. Yeah, and they don't have a B.
Starting point is 01:21:33 They did! They got rid of the... Like, I was joking about it with my friend. We were watching, if you watch the Premier League, they take a knee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And racism. They're still doing it. They're taking a knee before kickoff every time.
Starting point is 01:21:47 Well, they kind of need it over there. Those boys get a little wild. Then you go to Italy, you see some of those Italian guys. Oh, yeah, throwing the banana, something like that. That's crazy. It's a little too much. It's crazy. Like putting that in the metal detector.
Starting point is 01:22:01 And the guy who's running the little TSA machine,'s seen it he's like now this is gonna get interesting Throw it out I want you to throw it at Mario Some of those leagues need it. Some of them. Australia, I don't know. I don't think it helps. What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:22:29 Like, uh... It doesn't seem to be helping the racism issue. If I was a guy who was going to throw a banana at an Italian soccer player and they took a knee before the game, I wouldn't be like, you know what? You just eat it? What was I thinking? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:22:46 Is, I'm trying to find the- I'm trying to find my best takes. Is that, is the equivalent to America, like the obsession, is that like college football, or like college sports in general? Is that the closest we have to the European football? Where you didn't go to a college and you still care about it a lot?
Starting point is 01:23:02 Not even that, just like, what'd you say? Nothing wrong with that. You never just wanted to go? Yeah. Did you apply? No, I would, because I was gonna play football and I couldn't get in there. Yeah, you played in the Navy, right? Army. Army, my bad. But because they played Notre Dame. Oh, wow. I would play in the stadium. Actually, I think my senior year would have been Notre Dame Army in Yankee Stadium. Holy shit. That would have been cool. Oh fuck.
Starting point is 01:23:34 Would have got killed by Notre Dame. Would have been an honor. But no, it turns out I sucked. Why were you a Notre Dame? Is it just being Catholic? Because everybody Catholic Notre Dame fan? Is that the idea? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:47 You were a tackle, right? Yeah. Yeah, makes sense. But it was, uh, my grandpa and cousin played for him. Ah, so this was like a legacy. My whole family. But either way, everybody- like I went to a Catholic school in Pennsylvania, so everybody that was Catholic, like no name.
Starting point is 01:24:00 How far is it? If you're Protestant, you like Penn State. Oh. So it really is Italy. That's Scotland or any of these places, like yeah. Oh, that's crazy. Penn State. Oh. So it really is Italy. That's Scotland or any of these places. Like, yeah. Yeah, I think in Scotland, it's like Rangers and Celtic
Starting point is 01:24:11 is divided by Catholics and Protestants. Yeah. Celtic rules. Yeah, they do. 100%. Kirby, what are you thinking, my boy? Nothing. You're into more refined sports, like this golf and.
Starting point is 01:24:22 Are you a golf fan watching? Like, do you watch? Yes. You could be a commentator. you know this golf and are you a golf fan watching like you watch yes you commentator a bar watching golf and he's like I would like to be a commentator and happy you're more to right now came out with we couldn't know the game well enough to know the top of all no shot I said go ahead commentate there was no sound on the TV so I I said go ahead, commentate. There was no sound on the TV, so I was like go ahead, just commentate right now. And?
Starting point is 01:24:49 And he was like, and I think that's Brooks Kapka? There was. Yeah, we could give it a spin. Good shot. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, put it on golf. No, because that would probably suck. Yeah, bring up Roar.
Starting point is 01:25:00 But there was a guy that was hammered. Do you remember him? That guy was my favorite guy ever. And you're just drawing attention to us. There was a hammered guy next to us at the bar. It's like 2 p.m. We're at the bar and then Steve leaves. No, because you were telling me to golf commentate and then he...
Starting point is 01:25:19 And then he jumped in and he's like... But then he comes back. Steve left, came back, and I was at a different bar, and the drunk guy was there again at another bar. And we watched as the bartender walked over, out of nowhere, slammed the guy's tab on the table and said, get the fuck out of here, you piece of shit. And the guy who wasn't doing anything wrong,
Starting point is 01:25:43 he was just blacked out, he just goes... What? That's such a perfect... And then we watched him like figure out should he tip. We saw him fill it out and then go... That's a tough moment. You haven't been kicked out? I've probably been kicked out. He used to kick out.
Starting point is 01:26:08 Yeah, I've probably been kicked out. He was a bouncer back in the day. I didn't know that. I've definitely gone to a bar and they've been like, no, you can't even come in. I'm like, all right. But then he was trying to fill out the tip and they're like, what the fuck, how do you do that? You told me you didn't kick a single person out of the park. I didn't kick one person out.
Starting point is 01:26:26 We went to the park. Ryan's Puff. Yeah, fuck yeah. So you were there for, you were working for how many years? I was about to there for a year. Not a single person? Not one. I didn't, I didn't turn down one ID.
Starting point is 01:26:39 Every single fucking, every single kid got into that park. I don't mean to fuck Ryan's Puff, but they had me up front. Kids were literally handing me like. Every single kid got into that part. I don't mean to fuck Ryan's fault, but they had me up front. Kids were literally handing me like... Metro cards. Student IDs. Like their Westchester Rams card. I'd be like...
Starting point is 01:26:54 That works. Oh man. It is a good pub. It's the best. I miss it. So, Gerv, you're never moving out of Pennsylvania, huh? No, no shop. At least he gets his commentating gig. Do we want to see him commentate a whole? It's the best I miss it so girl you're never moving out of Pennsylvania. No, no shot
Starting point is 01:27:11 Or unless he gets his commentating gig. Do you want to see him commentate a hole? No, I was all suck. It's gonna be awful No, you might be good stick. Let's just bring it. I would be here. We go. I really got colored like you were there Down mines last year. Yeah, Scotty Shaffer. Oh, yeah. Here we go and go It's guy Shaffer Sheffler. There we go, and go. This guy is Sheffler? What are you doing? No, this is good golf commentary. Tell us what's going on. He's stepping off. What do you think he's looking at? I would be, if I was actually commenting,
Starting point is 01:27:40 I'd be listening to Dottie Pepper right now. I'd be like, what's going on, Dottie? And then she'd be like, what are they thinking? She'd be telling me, cause she's saying it like that. Can you please do it? Okay, I'm doing it. You don't do much, that's the point. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:27:55 Okay. You wanna watch golf? Oh, it's long. He's got it. Son of a blimp. Son of a blimp. That was unbelievable. That was unbelievable. That was great. Top announcers. Do you guys have your favorite announcers? I said Donnie Pepper. She's fantastic.
Starting point is 01:28:11 You have a big platform here. Chip Nance. So yeah, I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that.
Starting point is 01:28:19 I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. You guys have your favorite announcers? I said Doddy Pepper, she's fantastic. You have a big platform here. Jim Nance. Jim Nance is great. What about Marv Albert? Yeah, Marv. Come on. That's great. Who was the guy that was... You do it? Who was the guy that was onions? You can't do it. Who was the guy who commentated the tournament?
Starting point is 01:28:46 March Madness. That guy, I forget his name. He was the fucking best. A little kiss. Onions! Oh Gus. Gus Johnson in college football. Isn't his name Gus Johnson? I don't know what college sports are.
Starting point is 01:29:02 Miles. Favorite all time is actually Mad some Gus going, give us some audio. That guy goes, I'm not- Favorite all time is actually Madden. Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. Madden is the greatest. Yep.
Starting point is 01:29:10 He is the greatest. I grew up in the 90s watching the Cowboys and he would always be doing the Cowboys because that's when they were actually good. So it was just like mind-blowing, this guy be doing these things at the time. Oh, the sweat stains down the linemen, it was so funny to us.
Starting point is 01:29:21 The greatest is Ray Hudson in soccer. I don't know Ray Hudson. Isn't it Ray Hudson? You're gonna love this. I've never heard of Ray Hudson. He's a Scottish guy that's just he was obsessed with Messi. He called La Liga and he just the way he would like Ronaldo. He's got the DNA of a Bengal tiger. It was crazy how good he was. Yeah, get him going. Like a Jedi, Nate. No, better than that. A Templar, Nate. Out of this world, Benigni sculpture of a Benigni sculpture. Clyde Tilsley was like this little guy.
Starting point is 01:29:59 He was great. Kathy Bates with that sledgehammer. You're the American. Kathy Bates with the sledgehammer. From Misery? Yeah. You ever hear Americans. Kathy Bates with the sledgehammer. From Misery? Yeah. You ever hear Americans try to commentate soccer?
Starting point is 01:30:09 I hate it. I hate it so much. Wait, why? It just sucks. Because they use like soccer terminology too. They're like, oh, they look good out on the pitch. Oh, they're trying to be too professional about it. They're trying to be English.
Starting point is 01:30:21 Yeah. And if they're more American, they'd be kind of nice. MLS fans, they suck. Wait, why? They try to be English. Yeah. And they're more American, they'd be kind of nice. MLS fans, they suck. Wait, why? They try to be British. Oh, they're like doing the British champs. Yeah, you can't like that, and they're also, they're all like, LGBT. What is that?
Starting point is 01:30:36 Yeah. Yeah. Is it because girl soccer is more popular in America? No, I don't know. I think just the only people that like soccer in America. It is kind of a lib fan base. Super lit. And I don't know why, but it is that way.
Starting point is 01:30:50 Like I went to an Austin FC game, and they just put up like a giant trans banner. No. They're like, all right. You meet a dude in a polyamorous relationship, he loves like the Portland Timbers. He loves the Portland Timbers. Is it the die-hard Portland Timbers?
Starting point is 01:31:02 It's kind of Xbox jersey. Seattle Sounders jersey. Him and his three girlfriends just love the Timbers. What about the LA teams? You get the Mexicans in there. Now you're starting to get a lot of bigotries. They're going to come to Chicanos. Sports. All-fashioned.
Starting point is 01:31:14 Bananas in the game, finally. But everyone else is just very gay. I don't know why. I never knew this. Yeah, yeah. It's a weird thing. I'm disgusted. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:31:22 You can literally mileage the whole thing. I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted. I never knew this. Yeah, yeah. That's a weird thing. I'm disgusting. Yeah, I know. You can literally, Miles, you can type in MLS fans and you're gonna see.
Starting point is 01:31:32 Yeah, just through Google images. It's gonna be out of shape. You'll see. Here's Austin tossing up the fucking... I think Austin got a player that was... He was a South American guy that was obviously wasn't with the gay shit. And one night they were supposed to wear like pride jerseys. He was like, fuck no. My knee hurts too. And then the fans turned on him. And they spent a ton of money to get him.
Starting point is 01:32:01 And the fans turned on him like, we fucking hate this guy And they had to trade him Wow My last hands gay It's kind of fun if they leaned into the gay vibes like if they'd gay chance and everything that'd be fun Then the games would be worth going to yeah Arsenal does it to that like the MLA or Liverpool soccer does ML. I was watching an arsenal game They score a goal but right behind the goal, just a giant fucking trans flag starts waving, that was like their celebration. Like part of the, it wasn't like a fan,
Starting point is 01:32:33 it was like the section for that. They're trying to get in the other team's head, I think. That would fuck me up. They see most of the law coming down to like, oh, this is it, this is it. This is how you're from. So what is that? coming down, they're like, oh, this is where you're from. So what is that? Each team has to represent some identity out there,
Starting point is 01:32:50 is that the idea? In England? No, well I guess in England, yeah. But isn't that kind of what happens? We were talking about with religion, the Protestants have a team, the Catholics have a team, the Jews have a team, the trans have ourselves. Is that?
Starting point is 01:33:05 You're a Tottenham guy. Oh, where? You like Tottenham. Okay, what do they do? What do they have? Jews. Jews? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:13 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea and the Russians for a while. That's pretty sick. Yeah, it's kind of tight. But then they force them to sell it.
Starting point is 01:33:21 Yeah. That's right. It's kind of wild. It's crazy. It's kind of crazy. Yeah. What they they just say you have to sell this because you have relationships with... You're a Russian oligarch yeah. Wow they didn't know he was a Russian oligarch when he paid two billion dollars to fucking get in and dumped another billion into it. That seems like convenient timing right? Yeah yeah. Yeah they forced him to make billions of dollars and he was like flying. And nothing happened to Man City who's owned by... I don't know who, Eddie had, right?
Starting point is 01:33:46 Yeah. And then what does it go? Qatar does as Paris. PSG? Yeah, it's PSG, right? Yeah, but I think that it's different to like sponsorships versus like the owner of the team being like a guy.
Starting point is 01:33:58 Just paying to be on the jersey. Yeah. How do you feel about that? I see that now in like the NBA jerseys, they're starting to do like a little bit of sponsorship Oh, I don't like it. I thought I would hate it a lot more. It's something I like. Yeah, I like okay sees Why what is it? It's loves trucks up. Oh, yeah The brands we like
Starting point is 01:34:19 Team did a genius one what they do so Burger King Found a loophole in the FIFA games and so they sponsored like the worst team in the third division in the English Premier League. Like the worst, literally like they were 0 and 20. Oh shit and then you can trade for the other players? And then in FIFA you can put Ronaldo in that jersey in Ultima team. And so now they are just reposting like Ronaldo wearing the Burger King jersey and for like $20,000 they got Messi, Ronaldo, Mbappe, everyone wearing the Burger King jersey and for like $20,000. They got messy Ronaldo Everyone wearing the Burger King jersey kind of genius, but it's a video game. Yeah in Are you really punching a hole in this story?
Starting point is 01:34:55 We all knew that part of it, and we're just gonna let him have it It is genius, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. What's going on? You wasted $20,000. It's genius, bro. It's genius. You can do this for free. You can do this on AI right now. Oh, Photoshop burn king on the market right now. What the fuck are we talking about?
Starting point is 01:35:12 I'm sorry, you guys don't know business. I'm sorry, you guys don't understand marketing and branding. We're going to be on a whole journey for this. Fucking C's like, and it's a video game? Yeah, it is. It was stupid. It's a story song. It's just a video game.
Starting point is 01:35:20 It's a video game. It's a video game. It's a video game. It's a video game. It's a video game. It's a video game. It's a video game. It's a video game. It find a jerk on video immediately. Because he can't just do AI stuff. So there's got to be some copyright loophole. Yeah. Gurb, you're a little bit of a bully too, you know?
Starting point is 01:35:53 He's been bullying me the whole episode. He hasn't talked to me. I see right through him. Sometimes I'm starting to think that Shane might just be surviving over here when he has to fight back. Oh my God. I think he's busy getting punched down on by you a little bit. The Gurbindoc is's gonna drop soon, dude
Starting point is 01:36:05 I'm telling you We got on a plane we this is what I do for this guy Oh man. We got on a plane, this is what I do for this guy. Yeah, tell him. We took him on a private jet to the Masters. I don't give a fuck about golf. You guys went to the Masters? We're at the Masters.
Starting point is 01:36:31 It was dog shit, it sucked. But we're flying back and he's definitely, he's so afraid of flying. Like panicking. Oh really? We get on the plane and he's like, I'm just gonna get off, I'm gonna drive. I'm gonna drive from Georgia. He started like hyperventilating. He was like, just fucking chill, whatever.
Starting point is 01:36:51 And then I was like, would it help if I just started blasting some Drake right now? And he was like, no, Drake sucks, I fucking hate it. You play it all the fucking time. I was like, you're not a fan of Drizzy Gherbs? No, you only listen to the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack. No, that's not true. I did read that in the research.
Starting point is 01:37:14 That's actually true. That you will listen to the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack. There's research. Yeah, we have research on it. Yeah, this is not a fucking Skylight. We're serious journalists. This is Sky. How's that theme song going?
Starting point is 01:37:23 I'm fucking Larry Daniels. He's serious, we're serious journalists. This guy. Bum bum bum bum, how's that theme song going? Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum I'm fucking serious. I'm fucking serious. I'm fucking serious. I'm fucking serious. I'm fucking serious. I'm fucking serious. I'm fucking serious.
Starting point is 01:37:36 I'm fucking serious. I'm fucking serious. I'm fucking serious. I'm fucking serious. No, that's actually a game. Damn, I keep falling for bits. If you do play, I try to make fun of them for Pirates of the Caribbean, and I listen to it and I was like... Miles, Miles, Miles, Miles, toss some fucking pirates. Toss some pirates on board. There's certain things that are very like, gettable, like clear eyes, full hearts. Think of jacking off in a dining room Oh the girl is going to pillow down you get the knee pillow going
Starting point is 01:38:18 You're fucking out of here dude, I'm gonna do with some of the money that you've effectively given me This I am gonna do with some of the money that you've effectively given me I'm gonna go to a Hans Zimmer concert. Oh, that was awesome. Yeah, the Hans Zimmer concert looks far Yeah, I don't like the activities he does What are the activities on the way here he was like I'd like to go to the Friends Museum Was it called the Friends Experience I thought I was Chandler. I was Chandler and my cousin Joe was Joey. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York.
Starting point is 01:38:48 He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York.
Starting point is 01:38:56 He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York.
Starting point is 01:39:04 He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. He grew up in the city of New York. I hate this guy. And he goes, I'm like Franz. I thought I was Chandler. I was Chandler and my cousin Joe was Joey. He grew up thinking he was Chandler from Franz. Well you know, you're not thinking I was Chandler. You want to be Chandler. Who else is? I wish you were Chandler.
Starting point is 01:39:16 I take it back. I take it back. I take it back because I'm definitely more likely to die in a hot tub than you are. I'm definitely going to die in a hot tub. Okay, okay. What other activities would you like to do in New York that would drive Shane fucking crazy? Bike.
Starting point is 01:39:43 If you... Okay. Hold on. For a bike ride. No, he does bike. No, I believe I'm Where's he was fucking? No, you don't wear the whole fucking unit. Yes. He does I'm bullying I'm helping With the shoes? With that ass! With the clicky feet. And he's not that good at riding bikes. So he's wearing his full, it's like wearing a fucking full basketball uniform to play
Starting point is 01:40:10 pick up. Do you have sponsors on it? No, no, no sponsors. So you enjoy biking and if you had 48 hours to just drive fucking Shane crazy in New York City, so you would take him biking? You go to the Friends Experience? Yeah, Friends Experience, that would be a problem. Okay.
Starting point is 01:40:25 I would not be happy. Why, why? You don't want to sit on the same couch? I think it would make me sad. Why would it make you sad? To see the people that are excited about it. Thank you, why would it make him sad? To see the people, like your friend.
Starting point is 01:40:36 People that are excited, if I watch Steve, like, oh, look at, this is the couch. This is the couch. I would be like, oh, man. I'd fucking kill myself. Oh, I'd like to see the couch! This is the couch! I would be like, oh man. I'd fucking kill myself. I'd like to see the couch! I'd be like, oh shit! I'll do it!
Starting point is 01:40:54 There's a chair too, dude. You can go to different spots. That's kind of how it was at the Masters. Yeah. It's not as bad. The Masters is better than Friends. Yeah, Hot Dogs are like a quarter or something like that. Why is the Masters cool?
Starting point is 01:41:08 Does someone recognize you? No. You hated it and then everybody at the Masters is like, you're the best comedian. Greg Tuffles is like, I'm a fan. That's all intense. Rory before he won was like. It was awesome, like it's, and it's the fucking master, so you walk in, you're like, this is awesome,
Starting point is 01:41:27 and then after an hour, you go, oh, it's fucking golf. You can't see a single thing, and there's no phones, you're not allowed to have a phone, so you just gotta look at the scoreboard that somebody's manually, he got a two on that last one, you go, oh. Create nice. The surrealist of my life now is we lost him, then we saw JJ Y walking by, I was like, JJ!
Starting point is 01:41:51 And then he didn't say it, then he came in, he was like, Tyrus, right? I was like, yeah, yeah, have you seen Shane? You know, like. Wait, you said hi to JJ. Yeah. Well, it's a surreal thing that he knows who I am. I mean, people know, you had the number one show on Netflix,
Starting point is 01:42:03 people know who you are. Yeah, it was a massive show. You're in the game, friends. You're in the new friends. You're in the new friends. You're friends. You became Chandler. He knows who I am. I mean people know you the number one show on Netflix Trying to name drop Tom Cruise energy to you I will say Thank you. You're leather jacket Tom Cruise guy. What's it? If I look like Tom Cruise, I would wear those leather jackets, yes. Would you ever run into the room on your socks and slide? Oh my god, yes. Give me yes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:42:32 You gotta jump on the couch right now. Oh dude. You don't slide in socks? 100%. I've slowed down on my sliding on socks. I'm taking it easy, that's a tough fall. Wait. It's a shattered collarbone.
Starting point is 01:42:45 Wait, are you a huge Tom Cruise fan? I wouldn't, like I really like Tom Cruise, I'm not a huge fan, like I would, you know, I don't talk about it. You just remind me of him. Okay, but I really do like Tom Cruise. What qualities remind you of him? Hunk.
Starting point is 01:42:59 Hunk, leading man, definitely has leading man hunks without a doubt. Leading man hunk. Leading man. Sons of sons, yeah. Hey, you know what Tom does sometimes on a movie set? Leading man definitely without a doubt leading man hunk Hey, you know what Tom does sometimes and I'm on a movie set at the end He'll get like a cappuccino bar that he brings in just for all the people have worked so hard Yeah on the scene just as a nice way to show his appreciation might be a thing that superstar like you does at the end Of you know, I'm just saying sure. What did you do at the end of this season? What was your gift to this crew?
Starting point is 01:43:27 Give people gifts. Yeah, would you get them? Individually you didn't give me anything. Yeah, I did. What'd you get Shane? So, you know that do you remember? What you get him, bro? Stop it. Stop it. What'd you do? What'd you get him? Oh, there was a blueprint of the... Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. ...the drawings for like what the architect... Yes, that's awesome.
Starting point is 01:43:52 ...made to turn the place into a shop. It was like basically what he paid for. Wow. It's like a cool piece of memorabilia. Yeah. That's awesome. That's a really thoughtful gift. What'd you get for Gurbz?
Starting point is 01:44:04 Besides forgetting the gift he got you And I took him to the Masters and that's pretty nice I think unreal feeling he's a nice friend he's and it's Never in a million years be able to do anything remotely that nice for somebody. Yeah, it's incredible. I gotta take you to the Friends Museum. I don't even want to go now. Why not? Would you go without me? Yes. No, you can't. You gotta go with him. Absolutely, I would go without you.
Starting point is 01:44:35 You would ditch Shane while you guys are in New York together to go to the Friends Museum. He's gonna ditch me. Of course. No, no, no, no. Gert, take him. You guys get a picture together on the couch. It would be cool. Reenact a scene. That could be fun.
Starting point is 01:44:48 He doesn't watch Friends. I don't watch Friends. Who would he be in Friends? I don't know. You can be Chandler. I don't think I'm any of those. Could you be any of them? I thought of it.
Starting point is 01:44:57 I ain't none of them. I'm not any. Could you possibly hate this more? Yeah, I don't think you match up to anybody. No. No one does on earth. You don't match up to anybody. No, no one does on earth You don't match up to any of those people You think you're more of a David Schwimmer yeah I can see that I see it
Starting point is 01:45:20 You actually kind of look like a little you got a little swimmer yellow swimmer. Yeah, you look good man. You actually kinda look like him a little. You got a little shimmer in there. You got a little shimmer. Yeah, you look good, man. You're handsome. All right. Guys, I want you all to go watch Tires. Oh, thank you. June 5th, we're making it number one again. And you're so good in it, and thank you for. Thank you guys for having me.
Starting point is 01:45:37 Thank you for doing it. Oh, dude, stop it. Dude, it was awesome. You killed it, and you and Tommy together. Tommy's fucking great, and McKeever's great, and thank you guys for letting me be part of it. I really appreciate that and I can't wait for season three.
Starting point is 01:45:49 I mean that's a, if you guys I assume are going to keep doing this, no? Hopefully, yeah. That'd be cool. I mean they're going to say yes. Steve's going to be a fucking nightmare. You think it just keeps on getting crazier. Yes. What do you think was the biggest adjustment in his attitude from season one to two?
Starting point is 01:46:05 He could tell you, it's out of control. I mean, the robe, the fucking singing. One robe experience. He would get in the morning with hair and makeup and he would sing. What would you sing? Just whatever we were singing. You know, they have songs on.
Starting point is 01:46:18 But all these people have to be nice to him. He's the fucking lead. Oh yeah, yeah. So he comes in, he's like, oh, come on girls, let's sing a little song. I don't say, come on girls, let's see. Oh, I don't say come on girls. Let's see also You know They're nice people
Starting point is 01:46:39 So Once I literally left the thing with the safety pin in it and I was like, I'll never wear that. If Shane sees me in that, I'm fucking done for. And then there was like an underwear situation or something happened in one of these costumes. I had to put it on, he saw me, and then I had to live it down. The days where you and Shane are not in scenes together,
Starting point is 01:46:59 like you don't see him, what are those days? I find out about it and it's crazy. Yeah. Just the way he's totally different when I'm not there. Yeah, really? Becomes Tom Cruise. Comfortable. Yeah, comfortable. Oh, you're acting, you're singing.
Starting point is 01:47:13 I say we did sing. He's a fucking theater kid. He fucking sings off camera. He's like, whoa! That is fucking crazy. What is it? And then they tell me and I get there the next day and they go Steve was singing with all,
Starting point is 01:47:29 the whole cast and crew were singing yesterday and I was like well the show's done. I'm making this. What do you like to sing? We were singing a whole new world. Dude, this guy loves singing a whole new world over here. Fuck this guy, you guys like to sing? We're big fans like the whole new world over here. Yeah? We're big fans. We're big fans of the whole new world.
Starting point is 01:47:47 Mark, you're so funny. I feel like there's only one way to end this. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna do it? Are we gonna do it?
Starting point is 01:47:53 No, I don't wanna do it. No, no, no, no, my friend's gonna be over if I do it. No, you're good. No, this is fun. Do you wanna be Jasmine? I don't wanna do this at all. No, no, no, this will be fun. It won't.
Starting point is 01:48:04 We do it regularly. Mark, take us away. Well, everyone's got to join in. Can show you the world. The sky that you once landed. The moon that you once saw. When did you last look? QW videos. That's not a whole lot.
Starting point is 01:48:24 Wonder by wonder. I'm not a whole new world. Wonder by wonder, over sideways to under, on a magic carpet ride, a whole new world. I didn't tell you. You could say we're only dreaming a whole new world. Ooh, hit the high note, Garvin. Oh Tires! June 5th, go check out Shane on tour right now. I think you just released more dates I saw. So go check out those while they're available. Go to that. Go to the city. Buy some fucking tickets. Let's do it. See you in OKC. June 5th, we're running it up. Guys, thank you so much for being on. Love you, dog. Peace.
Starting point is 01:49:18 You guys rule.

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