Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Shooting Blanks with Ricky Velez

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

0:00 - start 05:28 - highest Schulz has ever been 20:30 - Alec Baldwin story 36:00 - Ricky’s mini retirement to Florida 1:00:00 - slap a teacher challenge 1:35:00 - nyc schools are better Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf #Flagrant2 #AndrewSchulz #AkaashSingh #AlexxMedia

What's up everybody? Welcome to Flavor 2. It's your boy Schultz here. I'm here with Aakash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon. What's up? We even got the truffle in here. And we have a very special guest, my dear friend. One of the guys I... You started comedy a little bit after me. Yeah.

But we came up around the same time. Yeah. Great guy. Very happy for your success. Recent success. Fresh off his HBO special, This Is Everything. We have Ricky Velez in the building. Show the people Ricky Velez.

Here's everything. Here's everything. Oh, here's everything. Sorry. Here's everything. I like the campaign. It's really cool in the city when I'm in an uber looking over and seeing uh what are they called i don't know when they put the yeah i think my dad's out there riding on them though people

be riding the rudest shit i saw i saw one that was uh like they took away the private area yeah they keep doing that they keep doing that and it's funny because they're not touching anybody but i'm it's calling attention that's what i wanted from it so that's it was what it was it's great it's good i loved it the campaign is wanted from it. So it was what it was. It's great. It was good. I loved it. The campaign is Ricky naked with a microphone hanging out, hanging down. Yeah. It should be. It was fun, man.

Mark Selinger took that photo. Who? The famous photographer, Mark Selinger. Who's that? I don't know. He shot Obama's last day in office. He shoots Bruce Springsteen. He's the man, bro.

You had heavy hitters working on this special. Yeah. He shoots Bruce Springsteen. He's the man, bro. You had heavy hitters working on this special. You said to me that the guy who did the lighting for Hamilton did your lighting. Yeah. The lighting was incredible. No, stage. Oh, the stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay.

I don't know. Yeah, Judd works with the sickest people, man. Oh, yes. Produced by Judd Apatow. Yeah. Okay, good. Do not hold that against the special. The special is incredible.

Fuck you. Fuck you. I knew this was not hold that against the special. Fuck you. Fuck you. I knew this was going to start from the beginning. I was wondering where we were going to get this. You're the lion's den, boy. You're the lion's den. No, no. I mean this sincerely.

Ricky is one of the funniest motherfuckers on the planet. I love Ricky. He's so funny. And mad love. I think that you all. I knew Andrew when he had that long hair. Yeah. You remember?

He had the long hair. Looking like him. So we had wild times i remember when i first met ricky ricky was was running the prom shows you remember this was a broadway comedy club and so the prom shows basically what happened were well you could break it down how does it how does the prom show work bro you just do shows At two o'clock in the morning For children who are drunk Yeah They were dope

Yeah It was like the only stage time I was really getting at They were dope for you Because you were their age Yes We were grown ass people Yeah Ricky would murder

At these fucking shows And all those like Why are we talking to teenagers? Like the fuck are we doing here? But that's what it was Well you had that long hair They were creeped out Yeah that's true

You look weird as hell, bro. And it's like you're telling sex jokes that work when you're talking to 20-year-olds and 30-year-olds. But you're talking to like... 18-year-old boys. Yeah. Yeah, they got it. They definitely got it. Yeah, it was the girls I was weirded out telling those jokes to.

So you would run the prom shows for that guy. What was his name? Eric. I don't want to say his last name. Okay, fine. We won't do that. I saw him at Dumbo House the other day, bro.

Really? Yeah, I was like, this is not good. Was he a little creepy? Yeah. Big time? I always heard that about him. Yeah, the rumor was

that he was trying to... You know, Chris D. was managed by him, too. No. Yeah, go ask Chris D. about him. Don't put that on me. Did he?

Yeah. So then what happened? Dude, I don't know nobody else's business. Because it was's business before you you're you and rap import bro all these motherfuckers forgot where they're from and they get a podcast, bro. I gotta protect you, bro.

This guy's out here. He's taking advantage of you young Latinos. Do you know what I mean? He's taking advantage of cute young Latino comics. I had to go out there and do something about it. I only did those prom shows to look after you. He would go into the green room with you and I would go with you to make sure nothing happened.

Andrew, I love you so much. You're such bullshit. I love it. I didn't protect you, man. I didn't protect you from him when he was trying to... Rob Markman, Jr.: Know who you have to protect me from? Andrew Bickford, Jr.: I'll be honest, I don't even know who that guy is. Rob Markman, Jr.: Can we talk about this?

I stayed trolling his Instagram. Andrew Bickford, Jr.: Yeah. Rob Markman, Jr.: The other day, he wrote that nice thing about your parents seeing the Radio City thing. Andrew Bickford, Jr.: Oh, yeah. This is funny. That's funny. Rob Markman, Jr.: And underneath it, I wrote, this is triggering to people that don't have

parents. And bro, your fans be so funny about it. Andrew Bickford, Jr.: Yo, why do you have to be negative? Let them have this moment. triggering to people that don't have parents and bro your fans be so funny about it negative let them have this moment and i just leave that shit there and like i'd be calling them we're texting and his fans are like take that energy elsewhere come on you really think i'm over here crying? We had good moments, bro. There's a hilarious video, y'all, in Amsterdam. Andrew got high.

Oh my God. And it's so fucking funny. The highest I've ever been was with Ricky. That was crazy. Wait, hold on. What happened? I don't even smoke weed. The highest I've ever been was with Ricky. Do you remember the name of the place?

You're mentally ill. No, no, no, no, no, no. The Wolf Cop was what I started saying. Oh my God, that's right, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so, so. you're mentally no no no no the wolf cop was what i started saying oh my god we're in amsterdam for what like three hours three hours why are you in amsterdam okay we're doing we got put on a tour through caroline okay yeah so let's set this whole thing up so basically let me get the lighter basically what happens is this right got it we we basically do this new york comedy tour in europe so we get to perform in do you remember getting into the fight with all the kids from england

like day two and they were like there was no women on your tour and you're like we didn't book it oh yeah and it's actually a very famous comedian now that like is he successful yeah yeah it's who the only english guy everybody knows that's young oh really yeah it was him you really not gonna say his name i don't know it oh all right how does he the only one because he's popping right now he's popping right now really yep bro ricky doesn't snitch i like that shit. Anyway, I remember whenever that guy's a loser. That guy's a... Dude, fuck that guy. Dude, he was such a fucking loser, right? He was standing up for women,

it seems like. Say what? He was standing up for women. Was he? No, he was attacking us because our show was stronger. That's what was really happening. We were having very...

We were definitely the crazy... If you don't know Ricky, he's a fucking murderer. Thank you. A fucking murderer on stage. On stage. So we get to Europe for three hours. Okay, go on.

We get to Europe for three hours, and I'm somebody that's like, I don't like to miss shit, but Andrew likes to just go and do shit without even talking to anybody. He's just like, we're leaving the airport. We find a cab driver. We're not doing the show in Amsterdam, by the way. No, we're not. We just stopped in Amsterdam, and then we're going to another city. We were doing five different cities, right?

Which ones were they? Do you remember? I know we went to Iceland. Iceland was wild. Iceland was sick. Oh, man. We were in Norway. When Soulja Boy came out with that song. Remember Norway? Bombed, bro! Bombed in Norway. No, that wasn't Norway. That was where your boy was from in fucking Sweden, bro.

It was Stockholm. I ate my dick in Stockholm. Rob Markman, Jr.: I knew there was something wrong with Stockholm, bro. Rob Markman, Jr.: My homies always get fucked up in Stockholm. Rob Markman, Jr.: See, bro. I feel you. I feel you, bro. Rob Markman, Jr.: And he had his homie with us, and I off stage, and he's like, yo, you don't talk about drugs here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I opened up being like, yo, I'm high. And they were like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, they don't fuck with that in public. It was like Andrew on a prom show. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just remember.

Bomb. I didn't see your set, but I just remember. I walked past you. We ate bear that night. Wait, what? You think we're playing? We ate bear that night. Wait, what? You think we're playing? We ate bear that night. That's a real fucking story, dude.

They served us bear. Of course it wasn't going to be a good show. I had a belly full of bear, dude. How the fuck am I supposed to... Bro, when you walk by me, dude, when you walk by... You know the scene in the movie where you're a ghost and the person doesn't see you, but you see them? That's what... I felt like the ghost. the scene in the movie where you're a ghost and the person doesn't see you, but you see them? And you're like,

that's what, I felt like the ghost. This is a guy that we've been living together for the last week, and he just walks right by me, and I go, Ricky, is everything okay? He goes, fuck Sweden. I feel that. So first off, we land in Amsterdam to go onto another plane.

And Andrew's like, let's go. We find a cab driver, right? And the guy's just down to kick it with us for all three hours. We just say, take us to the closest coffee shop, to the weed spot. Which is a mistake because every airport's in a bad neighborhood. Yeah. So we just end up. I've been to Amsterdam.

I've seen like two black people the whole time i've ever been there we went to a place that was strictly black just moroccans they didn't they weren't speaking any language we recognized it was it was impressive dude then they're telling me to take hash and put it behind my belt to bring it for the rest of the tour i'm like dude you guys are like i'm not smuggling for you yeah so we're like give us your strongest shit no no no i said weakest you said strongest i said weakest i don't smoke weed so he gives us the andrew don't smoke weed but andrew rolls the illest joints in the world that's really crazy i do roll a good joint i So they give us white lotus.

Remember this? Is that the name of it? White lotus. Before that was hot. That was the one. And you smoked it. You were fine. More than fine.

I smoked it. And I thought I was going to be able to bring you back to the airport. You did think that was going to happen? Oh, no. Do you remember what happened when we got back to the airport? No, no, no. So this dude's wild and broke. He's screaming. I saw a video.

The leather jacket. Do you remember the leather jacket? First of all, I see a wolf poster, right? And then all of a sudden, I hear a cop siren, right? Oh, your high brain. So my high brain connects to it. I go, Ricky, the wolf cops are coming by the way we've left our suitcases in this car with a man that we've never met before

i'm on that white lotus bro i'm on the white lotus so that's the video i saw is you laughing hysterically talking about wolf cop bro i'm I'm going crazy. And then the guy pulls up somewhere. We just stop at a light. And he turns, Andrew turns to his right and there's a leather coat sitting on top of like a mailbox. But like placed there, like the mailbox had shoulders and he was like, put over it

and I just look at it and you know, the Wolf Cops are chasing us and I just look and I go, there's a leather jacket for no reason. Do you still have that video? I got to find it. It's so funny, dude. You sent it to me one day.

It's so funny. That was unbelievably funny. Oh, it was so much fun. Then we get back to the airport, and I'm worried about him, so I'm not even paying attention to myself. I can control myself, but I don't know how Andrew's going to get there. Oh, no, this is great. This is great.

This is great. I'm the high one, right? I'm the one that's going to fuck shit up at the airport. I'm super high. Okay, go. So I'm paying attention to Andrew and not myself, and we start going through security, and I just forgot to take everything out of my pockets. So I'm looking at Andrew. He walks through smooth.

Then me, they don't just do it, like pat you down on the floor, bro. They put you basically like in the air so everybody can watch you be like, now I'm standing on like two milk crates doing the milk crate challenge in the middle of a stop in airport. You gotta understand,

this is back when Ricky used used to dress like chris angel like everything on him everything on him was metal he had like three be honest you had like three necklaces you had like bracelets and all this kind of shit and you're in the machine it wasn't like a beeping thing it was like the machine where you throw the triangle up right so he's in the machine and they're looking at him crazy when he walks in the machine because he's got so much that just shit just starts going and literally the tns is like yo what the fuck is wrong they're almost like they put me up on this pedestal thing and fucking started searching me and he's now on the other side clear laughing like on the floor laughing at me unbelievable trip oh so good so funny it was so good we lived in norway for like eight days Like on the floor laughing at me. Dying. Dying, bro. Unbelievable trip.

Oh, so good. So funny. It was so good. We lived in Norway for like eight days. Our tour manager left us. Why? Oh, yeah. What happened with that?

Our tour manager dipped on us because they lied to us about the money. Oh, shit. I can see it. Wait a minute. What happened? They lied to us about the money they told us we were supposed to be getting like money throughout to like pay for everything

and they just stopped and the tour manager took off on us and left with that fucking guy that won't get vaccinated what's his name Brewer oh Jim Brewer was on the tour with us he was great though he was fun nah he was fun I'm missing no snitch.

I'm missing no talking shit. I can talk shit. I'm not snitching. You snitch. I snitch. Yeah, but Ricky also industry savvy, so he knows he can shit on Brewer. He's not talking shit about the English comic. What's his name?

No, that wasn't him. No. The no the little kid no i don't think so i don't think so i thought that was him maybe it was well fuck him i don't think it was i do remember that conversation we were probably taking the wrong thing are you do you remember do you remember what we were drinking that night Jagermeister Hiroshima's that's that was the name remember it was like that makes you see things that that liquor no no no absence yes and it was mixed with something else oh that's fire and we were dropping them you had to drop they were asking us how we felt about female comics after we drank that's not what no no no they got us drunk

they got us drunk that is not true fam so what do you guys think about no they were Australian I can't do English accents anymore but dude no conversational rookies

they came in on us about how they didn't we didn't have any men on our on our show we only had men on our show

and we were like yo we didn't book this like what are you. We only had men on our show. And we were like, yo, we didn't book this. What are you talking about? This is what Caroline's booked. This isn't us. But then they split us up with them, and our tour manager took off on us, and it was just us. We were in Norway, and then you couldn't believe how hot the girls were that worked at McDonald's. Do you remember that? Bro, that's in my special.

That's a joke for that special. Oh, is it a joke in it? Yeah. Good, good. It says sweden i think but it was norway well that's the craziest thing we learned while we were out there in norway they treat swedish people like like that's their day workers yeah their labor workers are all swedish okay so they're mad rude to like the most beautiful people it's mad weird. You had a funny, I don't want to give away the joke, but I will. But you had a funny joke.

What was the line? She goes, can I get you something to drink? And you were like, can I get you something to drink? Your face doesn't match this environment. Are you missing a leg behind that counter? What the fuck? I remember being in the McDonald's in innsbruck norway wasn't even oslo we were up north yeah we were dude we were in some weird spots for that tour

and that was the other thing like we weren't known or nothing and they were sold the fuck out all those shows yeah iceland i'll never forget yeah i said that beautiful theater that theater was beautiful and then also soja boy came out with the song that we can't say which one was that uh we made it okay no it wasn't soldier boy it was it was bobby schmurda yes that bobby schmurda would have got a hat i think i would have remembered that that's my guy i'm pretty No, but I think I remember we went to that rap club and it was all blonde hair, blue eyes kids being like, Oh, they were saying the word. Yeah, yeah, they were going.

And me and you were just like, Whoa. That's what we were doing. We were just going, what are you guys doing? I don't know what you're talking about, bro. We weren't getting comfy at all. You were very Puerto Rican that night, bro. You were the blackest guy in there, bro. I mean, I was the most Puerto R're talking about, bro. We weren't getting comfy at all. You were very Puerto Rican that night, bro. You were the blackest guy in there, bro.

I was the most Puerto Rican in Iceland, bro. I was the most Puerto Rican Iceland had ever seen. Yeah, man. No, I thought that that shit was Hot Boy. I remember it being We Made It. Hot Boy would have got you all hype as fuck. Could have been the Drake song. Nigga, we made it.

He has like a Drake and... No, because I remember specifically asking them to play it, and then I remember going like, yo, I think that this is the first time they've heard this song. They were going off on the tables, too. It was like a rock club because it had that white people energy. But it had black music playing. It was so confusing.

Oh, that's a dangerous combo. Yeah, it's always such an odd vibe. Odd vibes. All right, guys, big announcement. Infamous Tour, we have added shows. Okay, they are on sale. Portland and Seattle, they sold out in a fucking day.

Thank you so much. That Portland show is going to be a bloodbath. So I think it's time we added another show in each of those places. We also got Sacramento, New Orleans, Chicago. We have that late show in Chicago. Make sure you check that thing out. San Francisco, we're coming.

I think there's only single seats left for that, but maybe try to snag those before that's done. Make sure you check it out. And then we have Atlantic City as well. Atlantic City, New Jersey is also on sale. If you couldn't get tickets to that Philly show, we were just down there. Make sure you pop over to Atlantic City.

More dates. We added Boston the day before New Year's Eve. So that's the 30th of December. We added another show at the Wilbur there. We got Jacksonville, Fargo, TheAndrewSchultz.com. Go check those out. Get those tickets early because I don't want you to be missing out on a show. Akash, what you got?

Yo, first of all, thank you so much to everybody who came out through Stress Factory for the last special. The last taping of the special was amazing. We almost sold out every show, so thank you guys so much. Now, I am coming very soon to Atlanta, November 6th. Two shows. Tickets are selling out, so hurry up and buy them. November 13th, we just added this date.

I'm going to be at Fairfield Comedy Club in Connecticut. Come the fuck through, you nutmeggers. January 26th and 27th, I'm going to be at Zany's in Nashville right after Thanksgiving. Come through December 9th through 11th. D.C., I'm at the Comedy Loft. And January 7th and 8th, I'm coming home to Dallas at Hyena's. Buy your tickets at akashsingh.com. Alex, hit it. And guys, you know what it is. If you're in the tri-state area, you have a podcast you're looking to record or a photo shoot you want to do, head over to WTFMediaStudios.com. It's located in Soho, New York.

If you're trying to get your home studio or podcast started from home, I do consulting as well. So head over to WTFMediaStudios.com. And now let's get back to the show. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I got to make sure that you're not going bald out there, okay? And this is a choice nowadays. You can keep your hair the way that you're going to keep your hair is with Keeps, okay? That's K-E-E-P-S, Keeps. Two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they are 35.

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right now go to keeps.com slash flagrant to receive your first month of treatment for free that's keeps.com slash flagrant to get your first month for free keeps.com slash flagrant now let's get back to the show now ricky you have uh tons of great industry connections. People like me. Okay. Now, I wouldn't go that far, but you do have a lot of industry connections. What was your relationship then with Alec Baldwin? I don't know. I don't know. You never met him?

Yes, but I like... We've been around each other. I don't know. You've never had a conversation? No. No, no, no. But I actually, like, I'm friends within his family. Like, I know people within his family that I'm close with.

What do you think about what happened? I just feel terrible for him, honestly. For him? Yeah. I feel terrible for everybody that's involved. It's funny. That's what we're doing. Anybody else?

Dude, what are you talking about? We're all like, I feel so bad for him. And I do, too. But we're all like, yo, poor Alec, dude. And nobody thinks about the dead one. Yeah.

Or the other one that just got shot. That got the sloppy seconds. I mean... I truly don't feel sorry for that person. Why? You living, bro. You didn't kill nobody. You ain't got nothing on your conscience.

It's the best way to get... Bro, workers comp. Workers comp out the ass, bro. My man made it, bro. And we made it. Y'all are fucking crazy no that was terrible that was terrible yeah yeah yeah that's one way of going with it yo i got shot in king of staten island like what if that shit would have went down like you never fucking know like that's crazy yeah like

i mean i i like i can't even remember because we shot that scene over three days but like did they have it pointed at me i have no clue like i can't even like like you just don't know like that's crazy that's alec baldwin he wasn't trying to catch a body yeah yeah maybe he always seems to have like a couple i'm waiting for just saying. I feel like Mark has a conspiracy theory or two about what might have went down. No, I mean... I mean... What's 4chan saying, Mark?

Yeah. No, okay, so I'm the resident conspiracy guy. So does he have a bunch of GameStop stock and shit? Yeah, he did. He had Dogecoin. He had all of it. He's going to the moon. No, you're sitting in the corner, fam.

Give us what the streets are talking about. All right, this is the dumbest conspiracy I could find regarding the event. Okay? For the record,

I don't believe this. All right, this is pulled off of 4chan. Yeah. So, what are the chances that Alec Baldwin, who starred in The Hunt for Red October,

which was about a nuclear submarine in Marminsk, shooting and killing a woman on set that never has live ammunition ever. But this one did real bullets on a movie set. And what are the chances that he pointed the gun at her and her alone, nobody else but her. And she grew up in Marminsk where the character in the movie took place at the, at the nuclear submarine base.

That's famous for training espionage. And what are the chances that she happens to be married to a guy who works for a law firm that defended the espionage and what are the chances that she happens to be married to a guy who works for a law firm that defended the clintons and what are the chances that she was used that she used to be an investigative journalist and her father used to be a naval commander of a nuclear submarine base in marmins and that she alone got killed by the actor who starred in the movie about espionage between the soviet union in the u.s and what month did it happen in october wow holy shit wow what's the fact checking on that i didn't know it's all accurate it's all 100 accurate yeah dude it's true conspiracies are true you know what i hold on you like facts i should just leave yeah this isn't the facts podcast. This is the fun one.

The crazy thing about the we were looking up the different times people have shot themselves. You can't be giving people this ammo, bro. What are you talking about? They can't be giving people this ammo. They're giving out ammo. This is not the real stuff.

This is the hollow points. We had a conversation about the times. That is the real stuff. I know. you've been the worst armor ever you're like genius in my own self maybe that's why they died they're not real they're hollow points wouldn't you put the hollow one if you were first day doing an armor job and they're like yo pass me the bullets that don't explode boom the hollow and you're reading the box you're like yeah hollow sounds good if the other ones are full that's gonna hurt more than the hollow full metal jacket that i'm not gonna use that definitely not okay that's how they die fix the description yeah you know what i'm saying ricky no don't put me in this yo you don't put me this makes no sense you said

you said it on the wrong episode, my guy. You said it. You said it on the wrong week. Oh, yeah. You said it. You said it. You didn't do this to Neil Brennan at all. Come on. Alan Bobbitt didn't kill nobody two weeks ago. You say what you were saying before the podcast, how he deserved it. Oh, you're a fucking beast. You said anybody tries to steal parking spots in New York City deserves the worst that should come to them.

This is how mad he is at the industry. That's how mad he is at the industry. The guy, the industry hates me. Your face he is at the industry. The industry hates me. Your face was on the wall at MTV, you fucking loser. His face was on the wall. Can't live with me, can't live without me. I can't wait till Alec clap you. Damn, you trying to fucking ruin it?

Listen, I'm undeniable. I'm just undeniable. It is what it is. Oh my God. Okay, but seriously, I wanted to have an actual measured discussion about gun safety. No, this is where he acts like

he's going to say something serious and he says the worst thing he can say. I want to have a measured discussion, Ricky, about gun safety. Let's use facts. I feel like you're not taking this seriously. This is how people get shot on set. You're not allowed to have a gun

and if you do, you get a year. I don't know what just happened with your voice but that shit was crazy for a second. I don't know what you turned into a Muppet

for like the first three seconds of that set. Wolf cop, bro. This guy sound like wolf cop right there. That's crazy. And wolf cops

were not playing, bro. They're not playing. Okay, but for real. I can't wait till you edit out that industry shit. Listen. Hold on. There's one group of people I don't care about pissing off. It is the industry.

But in all seriousness, Ricky, I do think it's important that we, you know, use our platform for the right reasons. Yeah. You know, and gun safety is one of those things that we really care about. Okay? reasons yeah you know and gun safety is one of those things that we agree about okay so that being said mark what is another potential outcome of of this alec baldwin situation another outcome well wait time out did he get coveted twice no yep no no this is your research guys every day your brain's fogged. What do you mean? That is true.

You could have fogged your brain. From what? From smoking weed. But, I mean, you got nothing. You got nothing. You want to know why he couldn't think of something? Because he smokes weed every day. I got that vaccine, too, though.

I got that one. I canceled that, actually. I got it all. That's a wash. You got COVID twice? No. Dusty. It was a false positive twice, okay? I. You got COVID twice? No. Dusty. It was a false positive twice.

I've never got COVID. I'm positive you got that shit twice. No, you got it twice. It's okay, though, but it's okay. All right, but in all seriousness, are you familiar with the other time someone's been killed on set? No. There was a fire one.

Ricky, we're not talking about fire right now okay i don't i don't i don't know son bruce lee's son brandon lee the crow you remember the crow no i don't you don't remember the movie the crow no i'm not like even us yeah i don't know about that yeah i don't go back and watch old movies i'm on the new shit yeah thank you back when we were younger no i don't remember it are you sure yeah okay he came out like 93 he was probably like four years old yeah oh yeah yeah yeah okay fair enough okay so brandon lee's bruce lee's kid got shot live ammunition on the set of the crow okay the story of how this transpired is unbelievable mark broke it down for me it's gonna sound more unrealistic than the last two conspiracies that he just shared with us but this one is actual facts and truth yeah okay he found all right so first thing, who controls the banks? All right, this is... This is actually important.

Who controls the banks, okay? Who controls them, Ricky? Say it correctly. That was fantastic. Come on. It's where every great story starts. Listen, man. We're testing your friendship with John right now.

Get ready. Let's go. Let's go tell him Mark what are your pronouns you fucking Jesus Christ that'll get bleeped you might take your face off the wall of MTV

for that one put me right up on logo so okay You might take your face off the wall of MTV for that one. Put me right up on logo. So, okay, break it down. This is how Brandon Lee ends up getting killed. This is actually more or less what happened. This is a short version. Basically, for the movie set, you use a dummy round, which is just, it looks like a bullet,

but it's got no gunpowder in it. That way, if you're using a revolver, it looks like it's full of bullets. Why are we still using bullets? No, but so here's the thing. You know the scenes in the movies where they're loading the gun? Yes.

They don't use real bullets for that. Obviously, they'll use the dummy round. So it looks like a real bullet, but you're placing the gun, you're placing in the magazine. You've seen these scenes. It's fun, looks cool. Yeah.

Blah, blah, blah. Same with a revolver. If you're pointing a revolver. What makes it a dummy round? That there's nothing in it at all. It's just a casing. So it's got the metal tip, but there's no gunpowder inside the bullet.

So nothing can happen. Okay. You pull the trigger, nothing happens. Yeah. Basically, the short of it is that they use a dummy round. They pull the trigger on a dummy round. It hit the actual butt of the bullet and then launched the tip of it into the barrel. So now the tip of the bullet, the actual bullet part that goes in your body,

is now in the barrel of the actual gun. And then they unload it, whatever. The armor of the set doesn't go through and account for all the bullets like you're supposed to. Then they put the thing into the actual gun safe, and then they leave it for two weeks. And then they use a blank round, which is similar to a dummy round, but it doesn't have the tip. It's just the casing with gunpowder.

So it's case, gunpowder, no metal tip. But what's lodged in the gun? The metal tip. Yeah. A bunchged in the gun? The metal tip. Yeah. A bunch of people have never been on movie sets know everything. I did a short film in college. I'm pretty familiar. All right.

So the motherfucker shoots him. It already has the metal tip in here, but now they have the gunpowder. So it becomes essentially a real bullet. Shoots him. And this is like two weeks separated. So you can't believe that that happened. So this is an accident. That is a complete accident.

The other one is even fucking crazier. A guy played Russian roulette with himself with a blank, thinking it's just sound. That's what I would have thought it was, honestly. It is sound, but sometimes there's still... No, but the pressure from the actual gunpowder,

the explosion is so much, it can fracture the guy's skull, send him into a coma, and he died a month later. Literally on set, oh, here's a fun game. Boom, kills him fucking self. Yeah, I would have done that too. I didn't know any of that. I didn't know that.

Yeah. That's crazy. It seems so lit. Yeah. Also, but like, I don't know. I just think those things are like so protected on set every time I've been around one. So, I don't know. Yeah. It's set every time I've been around one. I don't know.

It's a dangerous profession we've chosen, bro. I'm going to be honest. The profession has only chosen one of us. You're just going to get clapped for talking all this shit. Listen, we've been talking shit for a while now. Yeah. I'm actually proud of you. I was saying it to them. I'm proud of you i was saying i was saying it to

them i'm proud of you that you don't do this at your house like every other comic that's just ready to be killed by a comic that's upset you have a good amount of anxiety ricky have you ever spoken about this no never never skips i just think it's weird as hell just have people in your homes it is it is ricky's talking about how a lot of podcasts are podcasting out of their home and it's just like you're giving out a lot of personal yeah yeah bro it's crazy that's wild also how do you get away from your family that's also crazy well they don't have families or love talking about comics here yeah i think that's another thing like you ain't going to burr's house yeah he got a wife and kid, though.

Yeah. That's another thing. I think when you have a wife and kid, you also are looking for an excuse to get away. So you're like, I need a studio. Oh, it can't be that. He wants to protect his family. He's trying to get away from them.

I think that's it. That's what it is. I think that's it. I mean, Burr is a helicopter. Not to hang out with a wife and kid, right? It's like... I don't like to fly with them. It's dangerous.

We can all die. Only one of us takes the private jet. Makes a little bit more sense. Don't you need a little bit? I mean, you got a kid, right? You need your time as well. Yeah. Don't you or no?

Yeah, absolutely. Because I feel like I'm better with my girl when I've also had my time. 100%. You're getting married soon, right? Yeah, 18th. This month? Oh, next month. Nice, nice.

Any advice? Yeah, send me an invitation. I got you. No, I'm playing. I don't want to go to another wedding. I'm done. I'm a douchebag in the comments. Why don't you stop being a real jerk?

Stop being a real jerk, Ricky. Don't bring that energy to the comments no but tell me marriage give me give me a little advice man it's great man you love it yeah yeah yeah it's fun anything uh difficult you didn't expect um you guys you guys were together yo we're about to get married again i've married I've married her twice now we're gonna get married a third time for what reason it's like me with COVID bro

it's gonna be 10 years together 10 years together so we just keep throwing parties and bringing yo my last one was fucking crazy we did it in Miami

at the Faina it was crazy bro I like the Faina fucking Sypha DJ'd it was sick it was sick oh that's fire

so we're gonna do Vegas for 10 years. So what industry person bumped Andrew's invitation up? What was my invite for that? What industry person bumped his invite? I get me not being invited, but y'all did Amsterdam together. Tell Julio you're not invited to the next one. You're not invited. Oops.

Oops, your invitation's gone. Oops. Okay? Tell Julio you're not coming. You gotta move in this business, man. You gotta get rid of some old friends and get the new ones. Sit me next to Apatow. Okay?

We got this. Andy got a good school shooting joke. He'd like it a lot. Oh, fuck. That's right. That was the issue. How do you feel about school shootings? Do you think they should use blanks?

What do you think? What do you feel like? That actually could be a good solution. If you think a kid's a school shooter, sell him blanks. Think about it, Ricky. Think about it. You from Florida? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Think about it. You got so much Florida energy in you, man. So fucking dumb.

I'm so happy that Ricky is 30 30 you're 30 yeah two i'm so happy in your 30s because your brain has been in your 40s for about 20 years but you're just starting to catch up to the attitude because like when you were like calm down i calmed down a lot when you were like like 19 and like like judgmental it was like oh who's this young whippersnapper making fun of people and being judgmental and then as you got older it was like oh no he's a really old guy and like the older you get the more it just makes sense it's like uh you never see someone who's like seeing double and then all of a sudden it starts to yeah to get clear your whole life you've been the old guy dressing young yeah thank you i you. I'll take it. Yeah, this is good.

This is good. Just seeing you dismiss the whole state of Florida by looking at Mark, I mean, that was, you're a grandfather. Like he said one thing. I stayed down in Florida. He didn't even finish the sentence. I stayed down in Florida. No, he goes, when you think about it, and you just went, this is Florida.

Who the fuck is this guy? And that's true. You were in Florida. Yeah, he got married there. They both went pandemic. No, yeah, no. Well, the bottom of my building got looted. What do you mean?

When the loots hit New York City. But who was podcasting out of the bottom of your building? Who would you have podcasting out of that? They hit the bottom of my building, bro. It was bad yeah yeah yeah what'd they get uh there's uh there's like a liquor store but they don't sell like like regular shit like jasamigo they sell like old shit from like europe and whatnot and it got hit it was crazy i lived down the block from a precinct and shit was still getting hit and it was like

going on and me and my wife we had a three-year-old on the back of a building and they were lighting shit on fire in la so i was like yo we're out and we just went and lived down in uh palm beach for a minute that's when you know the world's fucked is when florida's a safe place you're like yeah we gotta be safe we're going to florida's sick be honest i've had some times in florida that i very much enjoy but i don't like the inland yeah you're inland yeah you're from orlando yeah yeah yeah he doesn't even see the ocean bro are you in florida not by the ocean she's inside everything's basically the ocean if you go high enough you get an ocean view i knew that you were going through it in florida when uh like we were just texting i was like how

is everything and then you go you go man man, I'm living on this golf course. It's fucking amazing. And then you said this. I'm like, yeah, but what you up to? And you're like, I ain't really leaving the house that much, man. I'm like, I'm going to need to go check on Ricky, bud. I love you, and I'm only going to wipe your face right now. You guys have a shit-hanging open mouth, bro.

God damn, bro. Dude, I should have just left it hanging off your mouth, bro. You got a saber, bro. Dude, I should have just left it hanging after how this all started. Damn, why you snitching, bro? I'm on this side. I couldn't even see, dog. Nobody can see.

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it was still early enough florida hadn't been lit yet like it wasn't it wasn't going the way it was going yet so when we got down there florida spiked and i was living in this community and that community all had money so they took they took off oh so i was just stuck alone inside a country club bro it was the crazy my only friend was the dude that cut the grass. He would come by and be like, what's up? We smoke. Wait, really? Yeah.

And it was just you that was still living on the golf course? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. It was isolating, man. But it was good. I got mad work done. I was working with Judd on a script at that point, so we were just getting stuff done.

Judd who? I don't know his last name. I can't remember. Apatow. Oh, Apatow. Judd who? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The goat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The goat. No, he's put out great work. Yeah, you've watched it. And I've had conversation with him, and they were good measured conversations. Yeah. Yeah.

That's all I have to say about that. And he supports my boy. He supports my boy. When you start speaking of facts, that's when you know there's a problem. There's a storm brewing. I'm going to say the word f***ing soon. But we're going to bleep it. Why?

It's bleeped. They don't even know the word I just said. They don't even know. We bleeped my whole body so you can't even see my lips move. No way. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll never catch us.

But you might know a word we're saying. You fucking a**hole. They bleep that, too. That was bleeped also, Ricky. Don't worry. But yeah, anybody who supports my boys, I support. Thank you. And that's what I always respect about you.

You always support, which is nice. 100%, man. I want people to fuck with you, man. You know I love you. And that's what I always respect about you. You always support, which is nice. 100%, man. I want people to fuck with you, man. You know I love you. So you know what you could have done when you lived on a golf course for six months is taken up golf. Yeah. Did you golf at all?

Sat in the fucking house. No, no, no, no, no, no. Why don't you golf? I know you got a reason. I know. It was too much walking. No. You're from New York.

That's all you do is walk. I don't like walking. I don't play golf. What do you mean? I've never played golf. But why wouldn't you? I already know you know why you don't like it. No, there's nothing about it.

You get drunk and walk around. I do that. Like, what are you talking about? It's a cool game. I just don't have clubs. Like, no. Like, y'all have to make me go. Imagine he's pulling up with some guys.

Like, you're like, yo, you want to play with us? We're like, nah, just walk. I'm good. I don't even need to hit the ball. Dude, I would definitely roll with some people and just drive the cart. That's fun as hell. Drunk drive the cart? Yeah.

I think that's legal. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, there's no real rules about drunk driving on a golf course. Nah. Nah, it's encouraged. Bro, we were seeing some dark shit down there, though. Like what? Like, we would go to the Publix supermarket oh yeah bro like during pandemic we just see people like drinking in their cars in florida like really yeah and it was before like

the election and all that shit so people were heated up like it was wild down there yeah which is weird because florida didn't really lock down like that dude i saw the funniest bumper sticker of all time go it said lgbt and it said liberty beer trump and guns i was like this guy is fucking nuts as he sat there drinking hard seltzer in his car dude florida's a different beast like i've i've had so much fun down there but then again you you that miami improv yo can we talk about our boy who justin stacks 954 oh i love stacks just the stacks dude he hit me up this week he's making the documentary he wants me in it he should dude what are you doing in it dude i went and jumped in the alligator pond with him off of the bridge thing yep yeah you're wild for that yeah well i brought all my boys with me and i was like yo What are you doing in it? Dude, I went and jumped in the alligator pond with him. Off of the bridge thing? Yep.

Yeah, you're wild for that. Yeah. Well, I brought all my boys with me, and I was like, yo, don't let me do this. No matter how much peer pressure. What is it? Stacks 954. You've met Stacks. He works at the Miami Improv, as Justin told me.

He's got some tattoos, like charismatic guy. I do remember him. He was also going to supply. He's obsessed with Steve-O from Jackass. Yeah. And he actually edits all his own videos. He's really good at editing. Bro, they film everything just on an iPhone. guy i do remember he was also he's obsessed with steve-o from jackass yeah yeah and he was he's he actually edits all his own videos he's really good at editing bro they film everything just on an iphone like it's nuts the way he chops it up is good he like gets like uh internet culture and um he he does all this crazy stuff with animals like not even animals bro he just taunts

alligators what are they called iguanas or something like that like yeah the big ones like he just catches them like they're like squirrels out by you yeah so he just catches your squirrels basically he's capturing the florida squirrel yeah and then like he gets bit all the time he'll just bring a snake up to his friend and let it bite him like he's just nuts yeah and the first time i met him i was with pete davidson and we went to we at the Miami Improv, and he came through, and he was just so wild. I was like, this kid's amazing. He gave you socks. Yeah, and he introduced us to this jeweler, Boo Daddy Diamonds.

Okay. And he was like, yo, you got to come hang out with the Alligators with us. And we were like, all right. But that was like at the end of the show, had a few drinks with us. So we were like, yeah, we're going to go fuck with Alligators tomorrow. Welcome next day. We're not hanging out with that kid at all. So we were like, yeah, we're going to go fuck with Alligators tomorrow.

Welcome next day. We're not hanging out with that kid at all. And then the last time I went back before I was doing the tour, getting ready for the special, we went and met up with Stax954, and it was inland. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought it was going to be like an alligator park.

It was just a dude that had a pond. Yeah, it was just a pond. That makes sense. With three alligators in it. The biggest was blind that's fucked up yo and bro they like they they they dude no but like it still was gully as fuck but yeah no like it was considered the most dangerous one like it was wild and they uh i turned i'm with julio i'm with benny i'm with like my homie chris and then next thing you know i'm just like yo like they're gonna ask me to do this like when they say like talk me out of it like just be like you can't do that and now one of my friends said shit the

minute they started getting on me and now i'm just like hater hater hater julio hater okay you too benny just trying to get me killed benny trying to get me killed and i ended up jumping in with it it was crazy you know benny yeah yeah he's wild i like that kid that kid is a great hang oh my holy shit that's the second highest i've ever been second highest i've ever been was with benny demarco in portland and he he was opening up for us when we did helium and we took a gummy and i'm in a fuck in the green room and i see the lamp and then in my mind i'm like it's the pixar lamp do you know the beginning of every pixar yeah and i and i just started acting out the pixar lamp to this, I can't tell you how a Pixar movie starts. But when I was in my

high state, I knew exactly how it was. I was doing it perfect and I was looking at everybody like, yo, I'm murdering right now. These guys have literally witnessed the greatest creation in history. I literally walked out of that room like, I'm a genius, boy. I'm a genius. And I asked

them the next day and Al was just like, yo, you were so stupid, bro. He said this to me. He goes, yo, you were just playing by yourself with a lamp. They wouldn't even pay no attention to me, son. I thought I was a genius. I was like, I get Kanye. In that moment where Kanye's like, I'm brilliant. Like, everything I do is great.

He's just high. He's just high off of whatever gummy that that was that's why you can't smoke how accurate was his lamp? not accurate at all I thought the fact that it was someone's shoe it wasn't even

it was an iPhone light he taped an iPhone to his head on the flashlight I remember looking at the lamp and I was like he taped an iPhone to his head on the flashlight yeah it just started jumping around I remember I remember looking at the lamp

and I was like yo these bums didn't even think of this the whole weekend like we was here the whole weekend y'all couldn't have thought of

the Pixar lamp joke like I thought I was on another one did you do this on stage nah I was in the green room afterwards

afterwards he didn't think they deserved it honestly I didn't deserve it Portland didn't deserve it oh no no they didn't deserve it I have didn't deserve it. Oh, no, no. They didn't deserve it.

I have a big beef with Portland. I've never been. Say what? I've never been to Portland. Don't go. Good for you. I just feel like it's a bunch of Bennys. Yeah.

I wish it was that. I'll take my dose here. Benny's the coolest guy in Portland, guaranteed. Not even close. Yeah. What's going on there? Because he's actually cool. I don't know about that.

We're just sad motherfuckers. We're doing a show there. Damien Lillard's in Portland, bro. damian yeah damian lillard's from portland i mean he's in portland he's getting paid hundreds of millions of dollars to be there and even then he's like yeah right he's like looking for a way out they're like here's 200 million dollars we just play basketball here and he's like well if you get the right guys around nobody wants to be in portland we have nobody loved big beef with Portland. What do you mean? Why? What happened? Oh, that's right. He got to go to

fucking Florida. Oh, yeah, 100%. We have a show in Portland, and I have a big... I have a lot of animosity with Portland. I hate Portland. Me too. The worst city on the planet. Yeah. No, no, no. It's not if you go. It's a homeless encampment i

got friends that been in iraq but okay they would prefer iraq iraq has some culture warmth the food is good probably the food the entertainment you know what i mean it's some real shit going on yeah portland's just portland's they don't have kebab in portland at all nothing it's devoid of culture and um. And they like the fact that I'm just fucking lambasting them every single time I can get because they want to... They're self-loathing. They like the abuse. It's a liberal white thing.

They want to be there for the bloodbath. And I think that we're going to add another show. The first show we just put up... The first show we put up sold out in a fucking day so here's the thing i want to make sure that there's more of you how do you make it a shittier show for them though oh no no no it won't be no you need to do something specially like pixar it will be very special it'll be special for me and if you really love and value the city of portland it's not going to be special for you. But if you also hate Portland, then you probably want to be here for this.

Jeez. This is going to be fun. You're setting yourself up to get. What are they going to do to him in Portland? What are they going to do? Throw granola at him? Yeah. Here's a milkshake.

Don't bring that energy, man. You don't bring energy like that around you. Yeah. Yeah, I do. Don't you hang out with Charlemagne? Doesn't he tell you not to talk like that? Yeah, but now he's going through like a mental health renaissance. Isn't he changing his name too, I heard?

Somebody said that the other day. No. He's just using, he's like Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Now it's like Leonard the Charlemagne. I am not Charlemagne. Yo, I went to, what is that when they like the horses? Medieval Times. I went to Medieval Times with Char like the horses Medieval Times I went to Medieval Times

with Charlemagne I thought you were talking about Boeing engine and I had to leave his ticket at the door and they were like

who are you leaving the ticket for and I was like Charlemagne and they were like last name he came back they know

the difference last name I went the god I'm like alright wait why did you go to medieval times uh me and Pete they got a full bar man it's cool got a lot of full bars

I know but medieval times is a whole thing I've done it at bachelor parties in Vegas it's fun no it's not go there with your friends and get wasted you will have a great time in medieval times food is trash dude you're not going there for that no I truly don't know what you're going for Go there with your friends and get wasted. You will have a great time in medieval times. I went to medieval times. Food is trash.

Dude, you're not going there for that. No, I truly don't know what you're going for. What do you mean? My horse wins. My guy on the horse wins. Me and my friends are wasted. It's fun. There's always the same guy that wins.

That's not true. Yeah, it is. It's not a real competition. How many times have you been? I went once. You're going with his facts. You don't pick a horse. You spend too much time in Florida. You're going with his facts. You don't pick the horse. You spend too much time in Florida. You don't pick the horse.

You think it's a real joust? No, but they change it up. It's fun. I've been to Medieval Times and he's speaking facts. That's true. It's fun. It's fun. How do you not enjoy fun? Hey, I know you're wrong. Yeah, you're agreeing with him. This is a problem.

You should be concerned. He looks like he's trying to get an audition. I'm with him in a knight's tale, bro. I'm Heath Ledger. Let's go. Let me joust. Yeah, you look like Heath Ledger. Go back. No, this is...

I think it's cruel to animals, dude. I thought you cared more about animals. Oh, we're going to do that? Yeah. I thought you cared more about animals. Oh, we're going to do that? Yeah. I thought you cared more about animals, bro. Yeah. For real. Judd Apatow has a horse movie coming out.

You're an ass. He does have a horse. No, asses are donkeys, bro. Come on. Dude, you know the difference, dog. We don't use that term about animals, bro. You don't like nature. Say what?

You're from New York. You don't like nature. I'm one with nature, with nature When was the last time You went camping? I go camping quite frequently I do That's the hotel They put you out in Portland

They just give you A fucking tent Yeah you're on 14th street That's what they do They throw it You gotta pop it yourself No no I'm with you

Fuck nature That shit is way overrated I don't like nature Over That shit is way overrated. I don't like nature. Overrated? It's overrated, dude. And then you see it, and you be like, yo, this is kind of lit. That's how I feel when I'm in Florida. I see an alligator.

Say what? So how's it overrated? If it's whack until you go see it, and then you're like, oh, it's controlled. I love the control. Nature's dope over there. But when you're in it, it's like, yo, you been to the Bronx Zoo? Say what? You been to the Bronx Zoo? Of course. Come on. Bro, bro i gotta pass now because i got a kid so we go that often yeah

bro that's silverback gorilla exhibit oh my god man yeah fire can you can you communicate with them at all nah nothing you don't even try you don't try to do like hand signs or something no i'm just holding my kid does he try does he Does he try? He likes the monkeys, man. Yeah, I'm going to be a piece of shit, Dad. I just realized it. Because I just made going to the zoo about me. You know what I mean? No, you lose that.

Really? Yeah, you lose that. It's all about the kid enjoying it. Your ego drops and your humility drops. It's wild. You hope you lose it. And if you don't, then your kid's just weird. Yeah, I'll just compete with my kid

and then your kid becomes a stand up that's a good point that is a good point that is a very good point it's our parents fault the minute your kid starts going

I want to do stand up you're like I didn't raise him right I messed up that's when you gotta quit stand up I never get that you'll see comics

that their kids will start doing it Andy Dick's son yeah yeah yeah I think we know the problem there. Did Andy Dick die? No, he's alive. He is?

Yeah. What happened then? Something recently happened. What? Didn't he? What happened? He was in the news, so you assumed he died.

Yeah. It's actually, I get it with Andy Dick. Yeah, but he's still alive? Yeah. Okay, that's fair enough. His kid is great. Shouts to Lucas. He's a good kid.

Yeah, he is nice. I remember him going around doing, I remember him uh strip was it the strip i think the seller he even auditioned i don't know about that but i thought he was at the strip for sure but good kid nice yeah yeah yeah yeah and andy yo andy dig was a wild dude man son he had a reality show on mtv about like he was looking for an assistant or something yeah yeah the whole thing was fake and he had them go through all this shit and And he had, like, somebody mow his lawn with scissors and look for... He said, I lost a contact lens in the pool.

I need you to find it. It was, like, it was hysterical. All fake. Yeah. Just making these fucking losers do everything. To be Andy Dick's assistant. Yeah. And pretending he would, like, fucking lose his mind

when they couldn't find the contact and, like, the grass wasn't perfectly the same length how the fucking dare you cut it with scissors shitty it was a great show great idea andy dick man um okay i'm on here this feels like a very we're gonna get andy let's get andy on here now now ricky i have to ask you this while you're here this is very important yeah here we go yeah let's start okay i think we should let's start the podcast okay um are you familiar were you are you familiar with the trans walkout from netflix uh have i heard things yeah careful careful careful now yeah are you hbo baby yeah that shit that's the ops fam what That's the ops over there. I mean.

For now. Let them do their own thing. Big Dick Rick. Fuck that shit, yo. What do you want me to say? I haven't watched the special. Well, who's special? Chappelle's.

Chappelle's. No, we're not talking about the special. This is about the fallout. The fallout. Now, one of the organizers, they went up in her, their tweets. I think it's a her. She identifies as her now. Yeah.

They went up in her tweets, and they found some pretty offensive things in those tweets, bro. Okay. Like? It's wild. Maybe. It's wild. Well, I need some facts before I have an opinion. We have a lot.

God forbid. We do a thing here called feelings, no facts. It's an actual segment. Ben Shapiro has facts, don't care about your feelings. We have feelings, don't care about your facts. Okay? So these are a couple of the tweets from, what is her name? Ashley.

Ashley Marie Preston. Marie Preston. Some of those tweets. Let's see if we can get them. What site is this? Go to the the these are the crazier ones are the multiple what this is opindia.com it's a very reputable yeah yeah say some shit ricky all right we're gonna need two other sources for me to be okay with this

that's the real thing i check multiple sources okay let's see let's go asian hoes act like they won't get karate chopped they fucking throat. What is this hoes staring at me? Mind your beeswax. It's not too bad. It's not too bad. Hit that next one.

Hit it. Latino and Asian businesses need to stop being rude. You're Latino. I'm triggered. Okay. They need to stop being rude and fucking disrespectful. And I know it's a lot to ask in california but speak fucking english oh shit that's problems oh that's crazy are you allowed to tell people to speak english in america no that's wrong it's it i mean i think

it's pretty crazy it's america you're allowed to do whatever the fuck you want. Should we cancel her? It's not my jurisdiction, bro. All right, fair enough. You're handling this quite well. Yeah. I know what I'm doing. You're handling this quite well. We've got you in the rapids right now. Well, guess what, buddy?

Okay. I've got a whole press team behind me. Let's keep going. Netflix is like, if they say trans, just say no comment. It's HBO. Oh, that's right. Does HBO care about that? What?

HBO has been fucking dope. I love working with them. Okay. I fucks with HBO. I'm running back Game of Thrones right now. And I just want to let you know, they're doing their due diligence with you. In what way?

I got the update. I got a reminder. I didn't put it down as saved because I was running a little experiment. I was like, are they going to know that I would like this special? I'm a comedian. How much do they know about me just from me watching the shows? And are they going to suggest? You know what I mean?

Because if I go save to watch, then I don't know if they're doing their due diligence with the people that subscribe. And yesterday I got the thing. That makes me very happy. There we go, brother. My brother. So they're doing their due diligence with the people that subscribe and yesterday i got the thing that makes me very happy there we go brother my brother so they're doing their thing okay another damn asian almost hit me while crossing what the fuck is with y'all and your damn vehicles i have an idea i don't know where the rest of it is what is what is what is her position wait this is like is this HR? Like, what is her position? This Asian N-word in Subway

got a fat ass. He almost looked like a bitch from behind. That's fire. That's okay. That's almost a compliment in a way. People say that about me at times. Just broke my phone on this Asian bitch's head. I have Asian friends. Well, this is a problem.

Asian motherfucking weirdo sometimes. You can't be assaulting people like that. What do you mean you broke your phone on their head? That's crazy, ain't it? Boy, that seems like a continuation. It looks like. Wait, can we see another source? I just can't be having opinions.

Here's what she said. She said this was a time before she was openly trans. She was on meth. She was addicted to meth. Addicted to meth. time before she was openly trans. She was on meth. She was addicted to meth. And then she was lashing out. Now there's also a tweet that you can be addicted to meth and get a good job.

Let's talk about that. She was one of Elizabeth Warren's surrogates or something. She was somehow on Elizabeth Warren's staff. That's when this came up the first time. So this has come up before. I just did Seth with Elizabeth Warren. Really? Yeah. How was she?

I didn't get to talk to her at all. Did you talk to her about Sokotoa? I wanted to give her a hug and go, I pay taxes. Talk about Elizabeth Warren. One of the greatest videos I've ever seen in my life. You've seen the teacher going crazy? Yo, teachers don't get enough respect. They don't get paid. Talk about Elizabeth Warren. One of the greatest videos I've ever seen in my life. You've seen the teacher going crazy? Oh, yeah.

Yo, teachers don't get enough respect. They don't get paid more, bro. They don't get paid more, bro. Teachers get destroyed. And now these kids got the TikTok, like, smack your teacher challenge. What? That's wild. What body part?

What? What body part? His face. No, that's crazy. Teachers should have guns. Teachers should have guns. Yeah, I'm okay with arm and a teacher. Teacher and TikTok challenge. 100%. I'm okay Yeah, I'm okay with arm and a teacher. Teacher TikTok challenge.

I'm okay. I'm definitely okay with arm and a teachers. But after we watched your TikTok challenge, I need you. And there was a teacher that came out. She was like, uh-uh, don't try that in my class. I'll beat you up. I like this. I like this energy.

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How many views you got? He's got to say he got slapped a little bit. Yeah, he's got to get smacked. Slap a teacher. Al's the worst at Googling, bro. Yeah, I know. We need to give you the aux. We really need to give Mark the aux during a pod

because we're going to be sitting here a while. Disabled teacher 64 is hospitalized after yeah these young kids are wild okay don't worry i've seen the craziest fights in schools growing up whoa i ain't never seen a fucking somebody put their hands on a teacher oh shit multiple times also why do they call it a challenge that's just it's assault right yeah but if you put challenge behind it kind of it's fine that's like a beat that's a rap beat i get viral bro yeah exactly there used to be that game called the knockout challenge yeah yeah i was walking around with a motorcycle helmet on during

i was not trying to catch myself on the floor the flies to reese driver um to this day i do have that fear i walk around thinking motherfuckers might punch me in the face yeah because you shit on portland like that i've never felt safer in my life about those fucking pussies challenging them dude pussies in portland what about what if the antifa challenge comes you haven't. You don't get it. The Andrew Schultz challenge? Who can catch him? I'll walk around Portland ready to go.

I'm strapped in Portland. You know guns are legal out there. Are they? I don't know. It's the way you talk about it. They're legal when I'm out there. Al, we coming through strapped or what? No, we not.

Come on, Al. No, we not. Al from New York, he don't snitch on himself. He does. We just cut it out of the podcast. But if we left this shit in, y'all would think this guy's an absolute lunatic. Okay, but listen. There was something crazy that went down.

This is teaching nowadays. Do you have that video, Alex? Which video? God, for fucking damn it. Man, you end up at Netflix. It's crazy, huh? Do you have that video Alex? Which video? God for fucking damn it. Man, you end up at Netflix. It's crazy. Netflix is super lit.

That's why they got so many specials. I need more, I need more. That's hilarious. Okay, look at this girl. She's teaching math. This is California teacher, she's been placed on leave. This is California, it's not Florida. I know everybody's going to jump to the conclusion it's Florida. It's not. Yeah, Florida would never do this. We need some volume. Florida has

a lot of Native Americans. We have a lot of respect for the Native people. Yeah, you do. Yeah. Yo, come on. Ricky. Ricky, come on. You can't even. She got the jellies on. I have to clean. Yo, is that Maria Bamford?

Just kidding. Like, that's crazy. So. Fire. fire fire yo i'm telling you people stayed inside for a year and it really fucked them up yeah like people really i noticed that when we got back to stand-up okay right away i noticed i was like oh people haven't been outside they don't know how to be in public what do you mean people just getting way too drunk. Not just the social norms were gone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that. That's that. That woman just sat inside. Yeah. She was dressed like that at home. Can we be honest? Do you think those kids are ever going to forget Sokotoa?

No, I'll never forget it. No. Do you know what Sokotoa is? Nah, man. These are like the three main elements. Lead, Lewis, and Clark. Yeah. Sine, cosine, tangent.

I think, yeah. Sokotoa is how you remember them. Opposite and hypotenuse. Opposite of hypotenuse, opposite of J. Oh, yeah, I do remember that. But now you'll really remember it. And Sokotoa does sound like a native american name can we just be honest if i was native american i met you and you were like hey my name is ricky and i was like hi my name is so katoa would you go there's no way that's your real

name or would you that makes sense you're native american that sounds like well you don't look native american what does that mean mark yeah what does that mean because i don't have a fucking feather in my hat mark because i'm not wearing face paint, Mark? You don't look indigenous. I thought I was Native American for a minute. You are. You're Puerto Rican. No, no, we're not.

I did the 23andMe. I spit in the thing. Okay. You believe that. You actually believe that they gave you the right thing. Yeah, they be making that shit up, I think. They be making it up. Are you telling me I'm not sub-Saharan African?

Because that was in there. 5%. No way. Because that was in there. 5%. No way. Yep. And then Portuguese. That's how they get white people to believe. They tell them they're a little black and they're like, yes! Literally?

That's all that test is. Is how am I not white? Yeah. And that's why black people... You took the test? Yeah, I did. But for what? Like, you know where you're from.

No, I don't. He really doesn't. He literally doesn't. My man really does not know. You can guess what part of the world... Yeah, but for what like you know where you from? Nah, but like, you know, like when they say where like white people are from they give you the region But they don't really know if you're from fucking Scotland. They just be saying shit. I do believe that. What?

How the fuck they know you from Scotland? Scottish people ain't even from Scotland. They're from Ireland. Then they walk over. I think they'd be making it up. They found one of Brian Landry's teeth and they knew it was him. That's not Brian Landry's teeth. Come on, bro. How do they know?

Teeth are teeth. They can do DNA. Yeah, but they can't tell where the death originates from. There's 40 generations back. One conversation. What are you saying? No, teeth are teeth. They can do DNA. Yeah, but they can't tell where the death originates from. 40 generations back. One conversation. What are you saying? I'm saying just because they got the teeth and they can identify who you are doesn't mean they can identify your whole genealogy.

So you're saying Brian Landry's out there just with no teeth right now? No, I'm saying they can't figure out. He's still on the run with no teeth? I'm saying they know Brian Landry's dead, but they don't know his. That's a genius way to do it. Just take out your teeth. Take out your teeth. Put them somewhere. They find the teeth the teeth they think you're dead And then you're still alive Brian Landry's free

You think they just found his teeth You think his teeth in a desert And that's it Maybe some clothing Some chicken bones probably They just found some teeth You look and get the teeth You believe what you want

What else did they find They haven't told us yet have they I thought they told us get the teeth. You believe what you want. What else did they find? They found a foot. They haven't told us yet, have they? I thought they told us about the teeth. It's unfortunate. They actually were talking about it. Yeah, what did they say? What did they say really happened?

The truth? Yes. How did he kill his girl? Yes, the truth. I like how that has to be a question. Well, the truth is not boring. I don't know if you can handle the truth. Calm down, bro.

You need to calm the fuck down, okay? Y'all hanging out with Alex Jones too much. No, 23andMe bullshit, yo. They just want all your information that they can get, and then they just send you back some bullshit. Oh, yeah, you're a 4% fucking Congolese. You're literally doing it for the 4%,

because you know what you are, 95. You're literally doing it for the 4% because you know what you are 95. You're white. Puerto Rican. I'm a little curious. But you knew that before you spit into the cup. Nah, but I'm not. Your dad is... They're saying we're Portuguese.

And that Portuguese people went to... And then we went over to Puerto Rico, you know. Got some mommies. Yeah. You heard about it. Then hit up La Lita, man. Then hit up New York. Grab a little Sokotoa, man.

That's all it is. So, you Native American, dog. You might be Native American. They say I'm not. I thought I was because I was really going to try to get that tax. Oh, you got to, bro. They don't pay any tax at all? Native Americans don't.

Yeah, that's why Elizabeth Warren wants to tax at all? Native Americans don't. That's why Elizabeth Warren wants to tax everybody else, because she can't tax herself. Do you think that Elizabeth Warren is Native American? When you met her, did you feel any spirits or anything like that? I did. I felt it. She did? I felt it.

What did you feel? Nothing, bro. I didn't even see her. I thought you said you just did with no I said we did Seth together that's what I said don't put words in my fucking mouth no no no

you said that's so unimpressive these white devils so we happen to be on the same episode of Late Night with Seth Meyers yo real talk

that was fucked up the way they said you said you were hanging out with Elizabeth Warren I did not you literally said you both used

the entire Buffalo can we pull it back you said you used every part of the Buffalo before you did Seth Meyers. You both said you did that. Okay? Stop it.

Don't lie to me. Oh, my God. Okay? We've been through too much. Dude. We've been through too much. Yo, that's the... I can't wait to troll.

I'm going to gut on your Instagram right after this. You got a lot of shit you can flex. I happen to be on the same episode of Seth Meyers and Elizabeth Warren and didn't meet her. Not a flex. Yeah, this crusty old bitch. I was just saying a statement. Crusty old bitch.

You need to chill out. She's a crusty old bitch, bro. You need to chill out. She's trying to take all that money you made from HBO, son. You're making movies right now. She's with you trying to take your goddamn money, bro. Don't worry about my money. No, I'm worried about it.

I'm really worried about mine, but I'm worried about okay elizabeth warren worried about it yeah elizabeth what alexandria ocasio-cortez your countryman was she puerto rican yeah yeah i think so yeah what do you think about her and i don't know anything about her that's a convenient answer i don't convenient answer what do know anything about her. That's a convenient answer. I don't. That's a convenient answer. What do you think about her? I think she got the hervy. Mmm. Mmm.

No, shout out to AOC, man. Yeah, yeah. Shout out to AOC. That's the homie, right? That's the homie, right? What you think about J Balvin? I don't even know who that is. Say what? I don't even know who that is.

How long were you on that golf course? Yo, J Balvin. What do you know about J Balvin, son? You never heard of that J Balvin? No. Dominican reggaeton artist? Nope. Well, is it still called reggaeton or are they allowed to make other music?

Fuck. Are they allowed to make other music? Just if they sing, it has to be reggaeton. Oh, yeah. That's reggaeton. He's like, no, that was rap, but okay. That was really rap. That's J Balvin right there.

Yeah. What did he say? I don't know. He came out of the music video but he looks like you and peds bro remember when you had that blonde hair yeah son i'm gonna bring it back soon really yeah why it's just fun change it up my hair grows back it's not like yours this guy this guy is a piece of shit, dude. That's going to be cut. I'm fucking made lighting keeps to keep my goddamn hair. Where was it?

What was happening? Bro, that was in your face. This guy, his hair was a little bit fucked up. It was just a little bit fucked up. My barber messed up. His barber fucked up a little bit. He was complaining about his hair. I'm like, what's going on?

He goes, I fucked up. I'm looking like I'm balding and that kind of shit. I'm like, bro, don't worry. You just get on the finasteride or whatever. You're good. You'll be totally fine. He goes, oh, no, I'm not really going bald. Then he goes, no, no.

I have to actually have my barber thin my hair. My hair's too thick. I have to have it thin. We were in a really tight hotel room so I didn't have the room to swing. If I had more he went to hit the wall I'd never have been so enraged in my life that you go into a barber you're like can you make my hair look thinner can I tell you something I had the same issue three years you're gonna be losing your fucking mind oh I can't wait when they

stop taking out them dense scissors you're gonna be like whoa whoa whoa whoa oh I can't you don't need to do the cut at the bottom my father still got the thickest head of hair. Yeah, but that's because he didn't deal with you. That's the first fact that has been said today. Yeah, that was triggering for me, Ricky. Sorry, man. I mean, you took the medicines. You look good. Yo, this. Sorry, man. I mean, you took the medicines. You look good.

Yo, this man conciliatory. He tried to make you feel better about being bald. Yo, first of all. You were so condescending, bro. I don't even know what that word you said means.

I didn't know it either. So I was just angry at him. Now I'm angry at both of y'all. Get enough of me with your hair, fin, and asses. Hey, whatever you bald bitch. Just stand there Pushing about

I'm on SG2 To be honest with you Nah I'd be pissed off Oh they sponsoring the podcast Yeah yeah yeah Damn right I'm on it bro

Your hair thing is sponsoring the podcast That's why they sponsor us I thought my shit thin And I was like Yeah yeah yeah Before I go on stage bro You're selling out Your hair is fine

You're just trying to Fucking get the money Nah this shit sucks This shit sucks This shit sucks bro This shit sucks. This shit sucks, bro. This shit sucks, bro. Are you dying it too?

Say what? You dying your hair? Fuck you, Ricky. There's no gray in it. No, I got grays. I got my little grays coming on the side. I got my salt and peps. You know what I mean?

It's mostly peps. You know what I mean? But the salt is coming. Why? Are you getting gray? Yeah, I'm getting gray. Really? Let me see what you got up top that's the anxiety i don't like these little bangs we're seeing all right you still got hair yeah i got

hair when your shit is gone please believe i'll rejoice i'm gonna have a worry about that i'm gonna just send you pics like i'm gonna be i'm gonna fucking get it put it back in if it goes that way turkey yeah so we go to turkey if we want to do it We When I say we None of y'all fucking need that Just this guy over here Fucking tumbleweed dove So we got We go to Turkey Wait wait

Turkey does it better? Turkey is where Everybody in Europe goes Like the football players And shit like that Yeah Really? And it's dumb cheap

Like if you do it The dude in LA Like Brazil? Well I guess you could do Brazil too Yeah like Brazil does all that I don't trust that Because I see some of those girls' bodies. Bro, last time I was coming back from Miami, this girl got on the plane.

She's sitting right next to me. You smash? No. Bro, her ass was so big. She was shorter than me. But when she sat down, she was taller than me. Do you understand that? I have that ass surgery.

I was like, how's this bitch calling at me? He's calling at me, but short at me. It looked ridiculous? Crazy looking. Yeah. In another world, like another time you're not Miami's insane.

In another world, would you get behind that? I don't like that body. I don't like natural. That's a flotation device, maybe. In case of crash. That's a good thing. Like if some Captain Sully shit goes on, you just toss that bitch out in the water first.

Just float on that for a couple weeks. Jack to the lid on that bitch. Titanic would have been totally different if Rose had some ass implants. Bitches. different. We're going to have some ass implants.

Marquito, what else we got? We need some more feelings. Can I piss real quick? No, fast. You want to

take a little pee break? Okay, take a pee break. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because

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matching your initial deposit bonus up to a thousand dollars that's a lot of free money they're throwing around bet anything anytime anywhere with my bookie dot ag now let's get back to the show and we're back um yo big news big fucking news this is big fucking news Salesman Schultz, bro This is big fucking news, bro You gotta take it seriously You gotta take it seriously Alright, let's start

Big fucking news, here Pakistan beat India in cricket Let's go Let's go Let's go Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to let them have one. You got to.

Who beat who? Pakistan beat India. And India. Yeah, they're different countries. No, I know. I have Pakistani neighbors. You have Pakistani neighbors? Hey, us too.

We're in it, really. We just live in a good neighborhood. So does India. Yeah, so does India. That's what I'm trying to say, yeah. We didn't really. We just live in a good neighborhood. So does India. Yeah, so does India. That's what I'm trying to say, yeah. No, so the reason why this is a big deal is because we have a Pakistani, a real live Pakistani right here, okay? And we have a real live Indian right here.

They have been mortal enemies for decades. Yeah. Big problems. Yeah. Lives lost over this. Yeah. And a safe way for them to compete without the world burning. Obviously, are both of them nuclear powers? India is. Is Pakistan

as well? They got slingshots. You have slingshots? Slingshots with marbles, not the rocks. Okay, so there's no nuclear... No, they got nukes. So, I mean, we have two opposing countries that are ready to fucking blow each other up. Doesn't it look like they make up that game as they go along when they play

Puerto Ricans only allow one game with a bat and ball stickball get a real bat okay it's a broomstick cut off now now this is a big fucking deal okay is this embarrassing for you as an Indian? It was bound to happen. 12 straight wins for India. This guy is crazy. He was waiting for this. Now, Bala, how do you feel about this?

I feel great. Look, we haven't won in a very long time. So, we got this one win. And it's good. I think we're turning it around. Oh, you think it's good. I got to eat it. I think we're turning it around. Hey, hey. Oh, you think it's over? The tide is turning, bro.

Hey, the tide is turning. I would love it. We got to compete in something. Y'all are too dumb to want to spell and be over here. We got to have something. I'm with you. I wore green, though. You said wear green. I wore green.

I'm eating it. How do you spell jihad? It's G-E-H-A-D. X-A-D. X is Mexican. Listen, this is very serious. Ricky, we need you to chime in on this. Okay, I'm team India.

Hey, Jesus. Damn. Yo, they were hiding and fucking. Summer been lighting. Yo, he went Mupp fucking the Osama Bin Laden. He went Muppet voice on you. That means he's dead. When Ricky goes Muppet voice, it's a problem for anybody involved.

That's me searching in the back of my head. That's exactly what... You were looking for Osama, just like fucking Pakistan. Stop hiding, people. Killing my people. Yes. Who are your people? New Yorkers. Stop hiding people. Killing my people. Yes. Yes.

Who are your people? Who are your people? New Yorkers. Wow. You're Portuguese. You're a Portuguese fucking kid. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan.

Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Sub-Saharan. Dude, Farah fucked me up. Okay, Akash, you were taking this quite well. Yeah, they had to get one, yo. Now, if we keep losing, it's going to be a problem. But you're taking this too well to the point where it's condescending. You're like yeah you gotta give them a little something yeah yeah how much are you watching huh how much cricket you really

watch enough wow wait do you really watch the sport of cricket i'll watch the world cup whenever it comes around so my you know they even my indian friends were losing their minds and i didn't even know but when world cup comes around if we lose i'm gonna be fucking devastated and is it looking like there's a chance, Fala? I think so, because we are turning it around. Wait, can I just ask you guys one quick question? Because I know you guys are real fans of the sport. You really care about it.

Yeah, cricket trivia. Let's go. I only watch World Cup. Can you name one player on the pocket side? Not a single one. Fucking fraud. Can you name one of the Indian team? Virat Kohli, MS Dhoni.

Fact check that. He could have just been making this up. He doubled down. He named two. You couldn't just make up a fucking Arabic. Bro, you couldn't. Urdu or Urdu, whatever that shit is. Iman Khan.

Iman Khan. Bro, just say Mohammed, bro. You got like a 75% chance of being right. Cricket MS. What did you say? 13? What was the? Virat Kohli.

V-I-R-A-T. Last I knew, he was the captain. Okay. And then MS Dhoni, I don't know if he's still playing, but he should be. He's not playing anymore. He was in the last World Cup. He's not playing anymore. That guy was playing in like the early 2000s.

Dhoni, Dhoni. That's a good one. Are they going to be in the show? Are they going to be in the show? Are they going to be all by themselves over there in India? No. Imagine that being a chant in America. Cowboys,

cowboys. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets, Jets. You should love that. It's spelling. It's too easy. That's why y'all lose. It needs to be a longer name for him to like come on. Some Z's and silent X's.

It looks like MS Dhoni retired December 30th, 2014. Yo, you're a fraud. You're a fraud and you're a fraud. Not 14. What is this? Son, that's seven years ago. He played in the last World Cup.

I don't know. I gotta double check. Son, just admit you know nothing. You know nothing, Jon Snow. I know Virat Kohli. You know nothing. I know Virat Kohli, motherfucker know Virat Kohli You know nothing I know Virat Kohli Motherfucker Virat Kohli

Virat V-I-R-A-T Virat Kohli Have y'all made them play each other? Yeah we do Every single year Yeah we race them We race

It's kind of fun We do We do We have a brown race Every single year We have a brown race Oh man We're coming up on that

We're coming up on that. Time to get in shape, guys. What are you looking at me for? We have a fight to the death coming soon. Listen, you've got to thin the herd somewhere. It's the curry game. It is the curry game.

Have a cook-off? A curry game. Oh, I got that. Cooking? Come on. Now say what you want to say. Say what you want to say. You have my food. a curry game oh I got that cooking come on now say what you want to say yeah talk that shit talk that shit

say what you want to say you have my food yeah no Vala can cook but no there's an insult to South Pakistan built into it

yeah yeah yeah yeah call him gay call him gay I just can't think of a good Pakistani restaurant anywhere in the city yeah same

I'll be real my neighbors were Pakistani and it was the only food that has ever woken me up out of a deep sleep wait for good or bad reasons bro bad i ain't saying either way i've never woken up is it like pie on the windowsill in a cartoon good? No, it's not that.

It's the other one. It's like, oh, I'm awake. Like a boxer. Yeah, like I just got knocked out. I mean, you're probably just not used to seasoning. Hey, talk that shit. Puerto Rican, makes no sense. Go.

Wait for it. I'm Puerto Rican, makes no sense. Go. What? I'm from Puerto Rico. Oh God. Ricky's charged up. Ricky's charged up. Yeah.

Okay. What neighborhood you from? Yeah. I live in Williamsburg. He's from Virginia. Oh, so you're not from... Okay. No, I'm from... I'm from Karachi, Pakistan.

No, he's actually from Pakistan. Yeah, he's from Pakistan. Yeah, but you don't have your wedding in your backyard and shit. Like, you're not... I actually did. I actually did.achi, Pakistan. No, he's actually from Pakistan. Yeah, but you don't have your wedding in your backyard and shit. I actually did. I actually did.

I don't know if that's more Virginia or Pakistan. No, in Queens, they have it right in the backyard. You play the drums and stuff and all that stuff. I've been through a few of them. Yeah. All right. You might be a little qualified. qualified just discredits people who are not queens queens is the most diverse borough no but i like the fact that you just discredit him

based on the fact he's not from new york like if somebody came here and they're like no no i have a new cure for the coronavirus like where you from staten island maybe Staten Island? Maybe. I'm from Staten Island. Fuck. I can cure Corona. You're not from New York. You can do anything. You're not from New York. Is that a real feeling that you had? Like a little bit. Yeah. How could you possibly be good at it?

You're not from here, dude. The subject of Pakistani food, and he's from Pakistan. Williamsburg, dog. You can't cook Pakistani food. I'm from Karachi. Fuck out of here. You can't cook Pakistani dog I'm from Karachi Fuck out of here You can't cook That is true

I like that article That I think it was Vulture Yeah Did where you were saying They got me in my feelings Yeah You were sensy You were a little sensy

In that moment I was Some comic pissed you off I just think it's weird Some comic pissed you Wait what happened In the Vulture article He was just upset At all you comics coming to New York.

Calling yourselves New York comics. They use the city and they don't give it back, I feel. Because the city took from us, so we're good. We'll call it even. What does that mean? The city just takes all the time. It's expensive. Fucking cold all the time.

Oh yeah, because you'd be doing this for a living. Yeah you're from no i had to be here but because why because why because it's the greatest city in the world because we're in the city of the world right tap that yeah we'll see where you live when you're 40 what we'll see where you live we all know all roads lead to Miami, baby. That was actually really good. That was really good. I know why Andrew spent exactly six months down there. Six months and a day. And a day. And a day. Only flying in through Newark using cash.

Shit. Come on, man. Catch me if you can bank checks and everything I want to get back don't turn on the lights babe because I'll be here no we were there

for four months but I was looking up that six months in a day shit oh you didn't do it no I really thought you were down there doing that son it's hard

we're talking about cheating taxes not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating

not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating not cheating taxes yeah not cheating not cheating not cheating but the rules son new york got a tax office in florida in miami for that reason they're catching motherfuckers so if you're there for six months in a day you don't get to write up the whole year you just get to write off what you did there during the okay during those months so i'm like are we gonna

stay here for another two months to just be able to write off the shit we did for six months even though we're doing stuff podcasts etc back in new york for the other six like the money didn't work out but i was looking into it because i thought i found a loophole i was like hold up so i just stayed in nice weather for half the year and then save all the money yeah and then new york was like nah nah hard so how do you get it how do you prove you have to own residency no it's easy to get like uh what is not citizenship but uh it's easy residency yeah yeah it's easy to get the residency but if you're making money outside of of florida which we are like when we're on the road like you know when you go to the road in cali cali dude it's so crazy how much california takes from you same with the canada too

they hit you over the head so i looked at that and I was like oh okay so we'll save money on the podcast obviously but the other stuff that we're doing it's not gonna make a difference okay I was close

I really thought that's what you were doing I almost bought an apartment yeah I did I was looking I was all in off a hunch

this guy's a fucking animal yeah I'd be hunching bro Ricky do you have bitcoin? you got crypto or anything you think I'm gonna say that on this? wait why not? put my money out. Ricky, do you have Bitcoin? You got crypto or anything? You think I'm going to say that on this? Wait, why not?

Put my money out there? What are you talking about? That's some crazy shit. Come on, son. Talk about money. Do you think people think you don't have money? No, I don't. When you text Judd Apatow all hours of the night?

What are you talking about? You're on a fucking private golf course in Florida? Yo, this kid's slumming it, yo. No, man. People are just really nice to me. You're not relatable. You're not relatable. You're not relatable. You're too rich.

I heard your move is studios, man. I'm proud of you. So we out here. Yeah, we out here. We out here. We out now, man. You got to protect the fucking snitch. Come on.

I can't even break the news, Ricky. No, Ricky, let me hear about this crypto that you got. I hear you're big on the crypto game. Say what? I don't have any. None of it? No. Okay, crypto that you got. I hear you're big on the crypto game. Say what? I don't have any. None of it? No. Okay, where do you got your money?

Come on, son. Where you got your money, son? Investment advice, yo. Yeah, investment advice. Yo, just give some random investment advice. My kid got a stock portfolio. I think that's cool. That's very cool.

Oh, you got to get your kid credit. That's the next step. Yeah, Mark just had to learn how to get credit. Yeah, I never had a credit card. Because his dad runs a ponzi scheme in france i love that he's worried about my kid's credit he's the only one believing that i have no money he'll get him credit son for real bro i kid got a portfolio yeah yeah we want to know what you got. Nothing, man. It's all his. It's all his.

Not a little bit of his or yours. No, man. Not at all. I'm taking UberX. Just like regular folk, right? Just taking UberX like a regular dude. They sending me free clothes. You know?

You just keep it light. All this humble talk right here, I think Ricky's really stacking some bread. How do you feel that he got the New York jacket and they didn't send you one? Damn. Only New York. Shout out only New York. They send me so much shit. You really trying to divide and conquer us New Yorkers right now?

Yeah. I see what you're doing. I'm not going to let it happen. I will say this. Only New York. Suck my dick. You send him one jacket. You know what I mean?

You're going to make some fucking Carhartt jackets, put a logo on it. You can send one to your boy, Schultz. Okay? In our new studio. In our new studio. The people don't know yet. I guess we're letting them know. I mean, he told me. You fucking piece of shit.

Dog, it's Dog's fault. Wow, Dog. You're a snitch, bro. You're a snitch, bro. Why are you snitching, bro? Why are you snitching, bro? I said, oh, this studio's nice. He's like, we're getting rid of it. We a snitch. Why you snitching, bro? Why you snitching, bro? I said, oh, this studio's nice.

He's like, we're getting rid of it. We got money now. He said it just like that? Yeah. Damn. You can't trust Island Boys. You can't trust these Island Boys, bro. Yo, you really can't, bro. These fucking Island Boys say anything.

Queens, dog. It's Queens, bro. You know Al's from Queens. What part? Far Rock. Kid from Far Rock. Oh, cool. Queens Village.

Damn. Yo, he said that like you ain't shit, Al. What are you talking about? Far Rock. Kid from Far Rock. Oh, cool. Queens Village. Damn, yo. He said that like, you ain't shit, Al. What are you talking about? Rockaway's hard as fuck. Rockaway is crazy. He said Queens Village like, yo.

Go to the beach, you got to take your wallet in the ocean if you want to go in. That's a fact. That's a fact. It is true though. Like when you go in the water

in New York, you go in the water and look at the waves, but you also look at the ocean. You just stand looking like, hey. Everybody can't go in the water at the same time. No, 100% fact. You can't go ahead and just go in the water. Yo, that's insane.

You're back at the beach the whole time. You're holding your wallet high in the ocean. You're phoning one hand while you're there. Oh, the ocean's so nice today Damn bro So wait Which area is more pussy Queens Village

Or far out Queens Village I wouldn't argue with that But my My local high school Was one of the high schools That got caught With a gun in it

So I mean Just one I wasn't even allowed To go to my Fucking local high school What high school Did you go to? I went to Frank Sinatra School of the Arts.

Is that the one where the guys suck each other's cocks a lot? I think that's the one. I think that's my favorite one. Maybe that's it. No, that's LaGuardia. That's LaGuardia. That's LaGuardia. That's LaGuardia. That's LaGuardia. No, LaGuardia is a little

of that too. Frank Sinatra, that's Rat Pack, son, don't disrespect. That's true, but Frank didn't go there. Tony Bennett used to walk around my school. He founded it. Really? Yeah. Kevin Spacey spoke at my high school graduation. No! Jesus Christ. Did he try you? No.

Is that a little demoralizing? I wasn't a good looking kid. Oh, you grew up. I had this same size head since like the fifth grade, bro. Yeah, I grew into it finally. So you just look like Tyrion Lannister. I look like a goose. And then so Kevin's face is there.

What did he tell you guys? He was actually funny. He did the speech and it was great. Seinfeld spoke at our first graduation. No. The king of New York, bro. It was sick. First graduation he spoke at.

He's got only New York. And he murdered. Murdered. Then I meet him, right? And I told Esty, I was like, he spoke at my high school's first graduation. She's he's got only New York Jagger and he murdered murdered then I meet him right and I told Esty I was like he spoke at my high school's first graduation she's like come with me

I'm like half drunk oh no I walk up to Seinfeld I'm like you spoke at my high school graduation at my school's high school graduation he goes Frank Sinatra

School of the Arts I go yeah how do you remember that he goes oh you think I speak at a lot of high schools he goes when Tony Bennett calls you show up.

That's a good story. I've heard terrible ones, so I'm happy mine's great. Yeah, I was ready for you to convince these guys that he's a fucking scumbag. No, I liked him. He's always been nice to me.

He sounds like a great guy. Fuck you. I like this guy. Fuck you. He's always been nice to me. Bruce Willis spoke at it. What is this school? That's what I'm saying.

Lady Gaga used to come in because she did an album. Oh, Tony Bennett. And she would work with our vocal. Oh, Tony Bennett got the plug so he could call anybody. Yo. Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga was fired. When Tony Bennett and Billy Joel put the album together, they used to bring us to Good Morning America.

They'd be like, we have the kids from Frank Sinatra. And then we'd just dip out and go smoke weed in Central Park. We were jaded by that shit by the time we graduated it was cool wow yeah we got to do some really cool shit um portuguese kids those opportunities in their life well that's what the cool thing was like i'm sure you feel this in a way i don't know what made you see the city but like i live so far out i never came to manhattan yeah and i like my school was in long island city and that's where i like met like my closest friends my best friends from washington heights he like he he went to remember that school barred like early college remember it was that school where was that it was in the city lower east side but it was like connected

to barred college oh it was a high school like a prep school but yeah you could like take some college classes and did you you score good on that test? Yeah, you have to ask. And then you graduate with him. I did a good audition. I still can't read, but I can ask my fucking ass off. No school shootings at our school, though. You know what I mean?

They don't ever tell you. They'd look like Hamilton if they tried to do one. Suicides, yes, but no school shootings. Did you have some students? We had 125 kids per grade. It was sick. That's a good number. I went to a smaller school like that. Baruch.

Public school. That's public? It's connected to the college. It was inside it, but we didn't have the same ability. My school was connected to DeVry University. In Long Island City. And these dudes that went to DeVry would just be hollering at our girls. And we'd have to scrap DeVry guys.

It was nuts, dude. It was crazy. Oh, because I'm sure there was just like some empty rooms and they rented it out from DeVry. We were in a business building. We were like two floors above. Yeah. Because the school wasn't finished. The school's in Astoria now and it's beautiful.

And I'm pissed because I tried to do my special there and the school said yes. The board of education shut me down. Oh, shit. That's wild. It's like I did everything I was supposed to do. I came back here with Judd Apatow and they're like, the board of education, I made those bitches sign an NDA and gave them my set and they're like

you say triggering things for children and we can't have you and it was just like I don't know they didn't give me an example I'm about halfway through it so far

I don't know none of it seems triggering they wouldn't let me do it man that bunged me hard because it's a beautiful day that school is beautiful now stunning they redid it

completely it wasn't built when i was going they have an orchestra pit it's a public school that's like funded through like people and whatnot it's so sick if your school had to fight al school who do you think will win um well if al school al school fought back it's a hate crime so yeah that's true if there's no such thing as it's a hate crime. Yeah. That's true. That's true. If there's no such thing as hate crimes. Yeah. If Al took the toughest gays from his school and they fought.

Bro, there's some tough, tough gay guys in my school. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Well, the guys at Al's school would have to admit to being gay. That's true. That's true. Who do you think wins in that fight?

Straight up street fight. Old school New York. Grab a Snapple bottle. I don't know enough about his school to say that, but I mean, I know a few kids that can scrap. I think he said your school's pussy. Yeah, he said you guys suck. You think he said it in the nicest way possible?

There are some gangsters that come from art school. Say what? Tupac came from art school. There's some gangsters that become... Michael Che went to LaGuardia. That's true. That's true. That's true.

But yeah, we'll still fuck them up. Yo. No question. I'm just saying, Far Rock? Yeah. But he came into the city for school, like. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

He went to a dirt. Hey, what's up, nerd? He went with a bunch of nerds. Is he a blue line nerd? Yeah, you're a nerd. I mean, he ain't wrong. He ain't wrong, but he's right. That's cool.

But like, even every school had shit. My school would fuck y'all up. Brooklyn Tech was kind of wild. There was Latin Kings in it. Yeah. Tech was the one that was the dumbest of the smart ones. Stuyvesant,

then Bronx Science, and then Brooklyn Tech. Wasn't there Regis too? I thought Regis was the shit that we took every year. No, Regis. I thought there was a school like a- Isn't that like a Jewish school? I don't know. I don't know.

My kid's going private. Fuck the board of that. Are you really putting your kid in private school? He's in private school. How old's your kid? Three. Three. And he's in school.

They're all private at that age. Bro, he's in a private school. But you're going to keep him in private school? What? Yeah. They don't have public school at three. and he's in school they're all private at that age bro he's in a private school but you're gonna keep him in private school what yeah they don't have public school at three they don't let poor people

educate their children until later in life bro you came in here today saying you got your kid in the best school yeah he's three though yeah

what is school in here three dude you didn't go to school until you were seven no harder than that I was homeschooled

until I was fucking 12 homeschooled he was going to school until you were seven. No, harder than that. I was homeschool until I was fucking 12. He was going to school way before you did. One year's old. You mean he just never went to school? No, but you're not going public, bro? No. Come on. You get so many experiences, cultural

experiences, diversity. What are you talking about? Like, my whole friend group, my comfort with all different cultures my kid my kid's last name is velez they needed one of him he got it to the best school yeah native american and if you don't think this kid is going to the most exclusive fucking private school boarding school wherever he's living at that time my daughter that's why everybody's like don't you want your kid I'm not gonna let my daughter be hanging around with these minorities no but my son's

going to public school 100% 100% what experience did you get at public school you can't get at private school in New York it's not the same

when we were kids just like hanging out with black people and not making an absolute fool of myself every single time like my private school kids just had no clue

how to do it like no clue just how to be around people that weren't like rich white kids they just had no clue how to do it like no clue just how to be around people that weren't like rich white kids they just didn't understand how to do it and like it was just embarrassing seeing it happen and then but i was just i just went to school with all these different kids so it was just super normal it was just what we expected almost to the point where if i was just with like all white people i felt like the outsider because there's certain jokes that i would like want to make but they just wouldn't get it and or just like ribbing and that kind of stuff that they just wouldn't

kind of understand so that experience i'm like that's fucking invaluable man my brothers went private really mm-hmm catholic schools catholic school is not private yeah it is you pay for it you pay for it but it ain't the same as private it's poor motherfuckers in catholic school too yeah us but like but you know what i'm saying like if you took us out of where we were going to be i was supposed to go to martin van buren oh yeah so it's like i didn't have to go there because i was able to get into this school and then on top of it my older brother my older brother and younger brother had to go to catholic so they didn't have to end up in van buren. Dude, my boy's dad was the principal of Martin Van

Buren and he used to scrap kids on the regular. Yes. Kids would fight him. See, that's lit. I don't want my kid going to a fucked up public school. Well, dude, you don't have the choice anymore. It's not set up like it used to be. You get to choose three schools you want to go to and you might get,

it's like a lottery oh back in the day used to be like your neighborhood no there's no zone schools no more what yes it's a matter of like you're you're in a zone so you're like even if you live down the block from a school you're not promised to go to that because when we were growing up it was if you lived in this neighborhood you had access to all these schools and when you're like Even if you live down the block From a school You're not promised to go to that Cause when we were growing up It was if you lived in this neighborhood You had access to all these schools And when you're in elementary You could pretty much

Go to whatever one And then middle school You had to like I had to lie about my address To go to a nicer school Oh yeah You used like your dad's work address Yeah yeah

Some shit like that And uh But then in middle school You had to like Like not audition But you basically submit Your report cards and shit And then high school

It was the same thing And it got a little bit harder and harder to get to. But if you had good grades, like you could go to like a really good public school and there'd still be like diversity, like economic diversity with some rich motherfuckers, with some poor motherfuckers. But at least you're with like the real world. That's my fear about private school with my kid is there's no doubt the education will be better in terms of the book learning.

But how do I get him to understand like life? Yeah. But at the same time, dude, he'll be shaking hands with politicians' kids and hanging out with the people that will put him in position to be great. I know what he's saying. I'm going to put him in position to be great. I don't need him to be friends with politicians. It takes

a village. I like my village, man. I don't know you understand what I'm saying like there are certain things that we were able to do you get that in New York City dude look at you

you're fine nah nah these private school kids all went to fucking like Riverdale like Horace Mann and these like schools that like you're basically

living on a college campus it's different yeah not my kids that's not my kids private school so yeah it's different and also sports like it's different. And also sports,

like, is trash. They're trash at sports. No, tennis. No, no. Get out of here with all that.

Tennis and golf. Get out of here. Let's go. Let's go. Give us a golf course. Let's go. You're corrupting his brain, Julio,

with your tennis lessons. Okay. Every sport they play in public school, you can either be knocked unconscious or, yeah. I. Every sport they play in public school, you can either be knocked unconscious or... CTE sports. I like that. They play with CTE sports.

That's a good way of looking at it. I like the CTE sports. No, I do think that there's value. I do think there's value to that experience. In the same way you come into that school, you're hanging out with all these white kids and shit like that, and you're going to school with them,

and now all of a sudden you're comfortable in those environments. You both need exposure. You need exposure to one another. Oh, I needed it exposure oh i needed it too i needed it too yeah but like and you i never came to manhattan if i did it was like a thing like so like now like back then like my best friend was from washington heights so we would just come to the city all the time and it was just i had never done that i just stayed in my neighborhood rode around on my bike and that was it i feel like yeah i feel like getting those moments and getting that exposure is just super valuable. Because I'll see white dudes that don't hang out with black dudes at all, for example.

And their default personality around black dudes is like, look how awkward white people is. It's so embarrassing. I'm an awkward white guy, and they just become this caricature of what they think black people see them as. Yeah. And it's embarrassing, bro. It makes it harder for everyone.

It's like the black people don't like it, I'm assuming, because they know what you're doing. Do you feel that way? Yeah, all the time. Yeah, I always found it very insulting. It'd be very insulting to your intelligence, I would assume. So either that or you get the over the top, like, yo, my brother, my brother, this. Yeah. I voted for Obama.

You're going too hard. My brother. They do that shit all the time. So I just, i don't want my kids to have to have that and it's so easy you just have to send them to a shittier school and you just you just got to give them like one or two years at the what at a bad school yeah give them a couple years in elementary learn how to make friends learn how to talk everybody, and then I'll send you to the good shit. That sounds fair. Yeah. Now you come into the good school

with like Puerto Rican gang. Like you've been around the Puerto Ricans who are 14 years old harassing girls on the subway, and then you take that shit up to fucking Riverdale, and no one's stopping you. Oh. They'll kick your ass out. Okay, shorty, I see you. I see you walking out of Bayou. Stop talking to your teacher like that.

Yeah, we slap a teacher challenge. Everybody in New York, any of you who ever got New York education, there's everybody be like, yo, I could have begged my English teacher. Oh, 100.

100. What teacher could you have smashed? I already know it. Miss ****. You might have to bleep that name. Yeah, I won't say her name. No, but I had a teacher after I graduated

hit me up on Facebook I made the mistake of telling my friends and they started all adding her they went crazy and then she deleted everything yeah yo those teachers

you have to understand like especially the teacher's assistants they were like 23 we were 18 you know what I mean like we're going to the same bars

and shit like I would I would be at bars and see the teacher's assistants. And what'd you say? I said, what's up with it? Buy me a drink. And what'd he say? I said... I don't know. I don't think it's that crazy like when the teacher's assistants are like

plugging out these fucking seniors in high school. Oh, dude, it's crazy. I'm not gonna sit here and act like that's not fucking crazy that's insane bro i support the teachers in that honestly they got to get paid somehow that's more the female teachers yeah female teachers only the guy teachers that's mad weird god you should be shot in the back of the head yeah i don't know why you a teacher if you're a guy just do it yeah that's a good point do what yeah just do math just be a mathematician like go be a fucking history writer yeah that's a good point wait wait wait do what yeah just do math just be a mathematician like go be a fucking history writer well that's why they're you don't teach it if you're good enough to be that that's what i'm saying what's stopping you fellas well that's how i kind of

felt about my drama teacher well i was just like if he was the man at this he'd be if you're nice at acting, go do the acting, bro. Okay? This is ladies' work. That's not what I was saying at all. No, that's not what I was saying. That's what I was thinking. That's what you were saying. That's what I was thinking. That's what you said before. Ricky, when you said that, I thought that that was wild disrespect. Yeah, that was crazy.

Your new movie coming out with Judd Apatow, Ladies' Work, is a super disrespectful premise. It's a disrespectful premise to insult these hardworking teachers like that. The way he played basketball, he had a female gym teacher. Oh, shit. His machete was crossing the over, son. Bitch had my ankles wobbling.

Yeah, broken and I'm grabbing them. My school didn't even have a gym. I had to take ballet. My fucking... Dude, look how I can had to take ballet. My fucking, dude, look how I can turn that shit out. My turnout is crazy. Boom.

That's how you got them prom shows. Hey, Ricky, tell them everything that they need to know so they can support you. Asshole Army, we send in all the support

to Ricky's new special. Thank you, and I'm sorry for trolling with y'all, but you're so funny and how upset they get. Because for every 10 you have, you have those two fucking idiots.

They're like, calm down. No, no, no. Let them know. Special Instagram. October 23rd. It's out. Yes. You can watch it on HBO.

HBO Max. They're playing it a bunch on HBO. Great. It's fucking good, good man i'm really happy with it the shots are beautiful man that guy that shot it he shot me goldman and seinfeld and um he's just he's just a genius michael bonfiglio and then um yeah i just like pete uh produced it along with uh judd and it's uh hbo's just been fun to work with, man. Good.

And they let me go for it. So it's been fun. So check it out, HBO Max. And also Instagram, where they can find you. Ricky Velez. Yeah. But make sure you support Ricky. Go check it out.

Or in your comments. Yeah, yeah. Talking shit. You know what I mean? We love you. We appreciate you. And I'm so proud of you, man. Thank you, brother.

Love you. Love you. All right. proud of you man thank you brother love you love you thank you guys guys that's been an episode of Flagrant 2 peace