Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Shoutout To Women

Episode Date: July 19, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: the new "James" Bond, WNBA domestic abuse, the worst international languages, the NFL adding two more games, Flagrant thoughts, and MUCH MORE. INDULGE!!!

A lot of licking. Put it down like a little kitty cat. You all know how that's just not going to go away. Bro, real talk. You got to punch it back. Speed bagging that bitch. Dog, for real. No, the licking does work.

It's like erosion. It's like how a river treats a rock. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like slowly over time. It just wears it down into a nice little beach glass. You ever see a little piece of beach glass? Like a little pebble. My shit is a nice little pebble now, bro.

We'll see y'all out there. That's it. Soft corners, soft edges. Put your ear to his hem or you can hear the ocean. It's like a peanut M&M. You just lick it eventually and then the peanut gets smaller. Melt in your hand, not in your throat. What is it again?

Melt in your mouth, not in your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, bro. I think my cum stinks, bro. What? Yo, I think my cum stinks, bro. How you just having this revelation? The other day, I came in a girl's mouth, and how fast she made it to the bathroom offended me, bro. Like, I was still busting, and she was hoofing it to the bathroom.

Like, the first one hit her, and she just went like this. She went like this. She went, huh? like this. She went, huh? Bro, it was so fast,

bro. It was so fast. I was like, where? Oh, man. I just touched the top. What are you eating,

bro? I'm not even smelling it. What are you eating? That's probably why your cum stinks. I don't eat any asparagus because that shit makes it smell bad. Even my pee smells bad off of that. Really?

If I have an asparagus at 5 o'clock, by 5.20, I'll be pissing asparagus. And it smells? And my cum stinks, too. I refuse to do asparagus. That's strange. Yeah. Don't do it. But mostly, I have a whole foods diet.

He does. I don't eat any bread I have a whole foods diet. He does. I don't eat any bread. No refined sugar. No refined sugar. Maybe that's why your cum stinks. Because I'm not getting that sweet. Maybe you need some sweet. Oh, yeah, there is supposed to be glucose.

Preservatives. I need some sweet. You need some sugar in your diet. Have a little jam, bro. I need some jam. I need some jam and peanut butter. You think I need some peanut butter? How do you say peanut butter? How do you say peanut butter?

Peanut butter? What's the weirdest word to say In a Nigerian accent And an Indian accent Let's do it I know they say Vs as Ws. So, like, you don't buy a vacuum. You buy a vacuum.

I have to vacuum. I have to vacuum. I have to. I have to. I have to vacuum. Oh, have to is how to. Yeah, because there's no Vs. It's all Ws.

And Ws are Vs. How do you say cow? Cove? No, no, no. It doesn't's. It's all W's. And W's are V's. How do you say cow, cov? No, no, no. It doesn't switch? Everything's a W. No, it switches sometimes. I how to like you.

How do retarded Indians sound? I how to like you. They sound extra retarded, dude. A retarded Indian? Wow. Yo, you know how smart Indians are? Even our retards speak two languages. That's crazy.

That's crazy. Geniuses. Oh, shit. I have to wag you. I have to wag you in the blood, but they're all over the carpet. Okay, Cass, nice cheering accent. Nigerians have, like, a really big problem with, like, silent letters. Okay.

So, like, we can't say, like, honorable. It's, like, honorable. How do you say lasagna? I'm like, my mom? Yeah. She says like lasagna. But how does she say it in her accent? I made some lasagna.

That's a good accent. You should have made gentle. It is a peaceful last. It is very peaceful. I made some lasagna. Yeah. How do you speak violently with that accent? You just say it loud.

There are many raps happening in the town. We must do something to stop these raps. It's a lot of teeth sucking before you say anything. It's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. And then you just say whatever. Stop the raps. I don't. my lips and then like it's just a lot of like you know inflections and like teeth sucking before you say anything that's how i know my mom's pissed off like oh shit all right she means maybe that's the reason why rape is a

problem because the girls don't sound that upset about it they're like no I would not like I did not give consent I am NOT interested in doing this right now is there another activity we could do kindly remove your penis Oh, Jesus Christ. You seem to be continuing this act. If there was a way that we could stop it from happening, that would be lovely. I would like very much to go on with my day. You're going into Indian now?

I'm about to say that's not a more Indian. I can't help it. I didn't even want to. Oh, God. All right, so what about you need a fucking Asian bro what about Scottish I'm so bad at the Scottish accent it's crazy because you're good at so many accents

everybody else's accent that's the ones I need to fucking do what do the Scottish say that's weird there's nothing that I find that they say that's that that like silly goofy I'm sure that you could find some

I truly can't think of anything I don't know the difference between y'all and Irish people I was about to say Irish is more like ours right like who the fuck is I'm thinking of Conor McGregor who the fuck is that guy and Scottish is more like, all right.

How you doing? I can't. They don't say can't. I say, I can't. I didn't. I didn't. Okay, so hard T's are not your thing. Yeah, but it's like the language isn't.

They speak English. Yeah. So it's not as fun. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I mean, a lot of Nigerians, the native language in that jurors English like what isn't it like eat ebo ebo you're about like this you're all just like Alex and shit like the official language measures like see they get it yeah these

countries that try to keep their fucking language bro well I mean we were kind of enslaved so like yeah but like that was a good thing that came from it. You ended up having the language the world fucking speaks. Do you know what I mean? Like these I'm going to Montreal this weekend and these fucking idiots are fighting to keep their stupid language that nobody speaks. That the French look down on. That the French don't even. That's a great point. I think it's like so trashy.

They're like, you guys are you guys are like fucking apes. Yeah. They're Long Island. They look at them like they're Long Island. You bastardize their language. Yeah. Quebec Claw claw get the fuck out of here. What is that, bro? but you know, they can't even write shit in not French and you can't even get a government job in Canada unless you speak French and What get over yourself son? Get over yourself French even

We mean just the language The French is such an arrogant language I know you're going to No it's just fucking It's a very arrogant language It's just It's mad It's hard It's hard

It's pussy bro Your face right now is actually like a normal French face Dude It is pussy bro Say baguette Fag No I'm just kidding It is pussy, bro. Say baguettes. Fat... No, I'm sorry. Yo, what's up?

This is Akash. That was a preview of our Patreon episode. If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant2. Join the illest community on Earth. Unless you're a social justice warrior, then you're just going to ruin the fun.