Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Suckin That Thang ft. Joe Santagato and Danny LoPriore

Episode Date: November 5, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, Kaz, and special guests, Joe Santagato along with Danny LoPriore discuss: Kyrie having another hissy fit, suckin each others thang, buying coke at a club, Steph Curry lying about his broken hand, George Bush throwing the first pitch after 9/11, and much more. INDULGE!!! Want an extra episode a week? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2

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That's F-O-L-S-A-C.net. Coupon code FLAGR flagrant let's get the show started now we have um some illustrious guests here i'm very excited that we're sitting down with you because what's happened recently in my life is um a lot of uh synergy and synergy for me is like when people are moving in similar directions you you start to hear people's names. Even if you aren't directly talking to them, other people that you're speaking to are like, yo, you got to check out these guys, et cetera.

So I've had multiple people tell me that we've got to talk to you guys. Now, we spoke a while back on Instagram. We were texting a little bit. And then all of a sudden, Kaz was like, yo, we got to get these two guys on. They're hilarious. And I'm talking to KFC. He was like, man, we just had these guys on. We had a great – I think it to KFC. He was like, man, we just had these guys on.

We had a great, I don't think, I think it was KFC that you guys did. No, no, no. Barstool Breakfast. They said you were fucking hilarious. You guys were wild. So without further ado, we have Joe Santagato and Danny LaPriori. LaPriori. Damn, that shit.

That was good. Okay. All right. LaPriori is sexier, though. It is not. That sounds delicious. You heard it. It's a meal. Okay. All right. Lafayette is sexier, though. It is Lafayette. That sounds delicious. You're a bestie. It's a meal.

Lafayette. Sounds like something you eat with your feet on. Thank you so much. So now I've been doing like little like, you know, research into you guys. And obviously you have the podcast, right? But you're an old school internet guy. You're like early adopter YouTube is that right?

no one's ever said that I would say he's kind of like Mount Rushmore-ish of YouTube as I look into it yes he is, he won't say it but he is and same with you too like with Vine and everything you're that titty mountain baby

and it's just you. I still say this, let me suck your titties like every fucking week. Dude, we'll be walking around sometimes and people just be like, yo, let me suck your titties. And he's like, thank you, man. It's a classic Vine, bro. And everyone's just like, what is this? Break it down for us. All right.

So like, I guess in like 2015, maybe, Vine came out. So I was like, yo, let me hop on this platform before celebrities hop on it and take over. So Vine was an app where normal people could kind of be famous. Yes. So it was cool. For anybody listening right now, TikTok is kind of like the latest iteration of Vine.

Yes, for sure. It's where high school kids overnight have become, would become like a sensation. Web celebrities, yeah. So Vine was a six high school kids overnight have become right become like right What's the leverage so and that was a six second six second loops? That's it, and I was I was older too like kids were on there. I'm 30 yeah, so like it was like yo like I Gotta try and find a way. I can't like do shit like yo like when your dad forgets like spaghetti Do fucking content like that.

I'm fucking 30. Yo, in school, when you poop your pants. I haven't been to school in like 15 years. So I was just like, you know what I mean? So I was like,

yo, I gotta do something. Then I just started singing about tits. I went down a rabbit hole years ago. Yeah. And this is the first time I met you in person. Years ago, I watched like 10 of these in a row.

It was so goddamn funny. Yeah, man. And it, in person. Years ago, I watched like 10 of these in a row. It was so goddamn funny. Thank you. But it was like, when this started happening, it just took off. Oh, yeah. Can you play it? What are we playing this on YouTube? I love how it says, Damien Lopiori, Let Me Suck Your Titties, Baby, Historical.

Historical, an asterisk. So, Ed, if you're going to search for stuff, search on Twitter or Instagram so it doesn't get flagged. You know what I mean? Even if he's right here? Say mean? Even if he's right here? Say what? Even if he's right here? Yeah, I won't show him.

We don't know if it's his video. Is it your video, though? Maybe it's someone else's video. No, it's not on my page. That's his face. Fuck that. I mean, I'm sure it will be okay. I won't flag it.

I won't flag it. I'll go clear with my guys. White listed. But the people that stole it from you. Yeah, that's true. I don't know what guys. I'm probably going to flag it. Anyway.

So just search Twitter and Instagram. But we'll get it There's like the OG version So this thing So what'd you say You were just like I wanna suck your titties Yeah

But the motherfucker Could actually sing Which made it so good So wait what would you do Like what would I do So like Alright so Man

This is when R. Kelly Was still like You could still talk about him Oh we can talk about R. Kelly was still like, you can still talk about him? Oh, we can talk about R. Kelly. Cool, cool, cool. Oh, here we go. There it is. It's actually way better if we just let him sing it.

Yeah. Yeah. What is that hair? The shortest amount of time? Yeah. The night till dawn? Man, I got things to do. I can't just do it all day. Not from night till morning.

That's a lot of titties. That's a lot of titties. Two hours. Two hours. That two-hour window, I will suck it. Yeah, yeah. And then, like, just after that, it was just everyone wanted, like, titty content. Yes.

And then Vine went away, and then I was, like, had to get, like, regular jobs. So you were making money off Vine? Well, yeah, because, like, you know, they hit you with, like, sponsorships and shit. It's like, that's the other thing, too. Like, these millennial fuckers, I don't mean to't mean the segue but like these millennial companies are so straightforward like their company names you should be like fuck better like full sack it doesn't get any better but like you know companies would be like hey we'll pay you so and so to like do a vine with like our product so that was great it was very quit your job, you're making great money on vines.

Yeah. Then vine goes away. Wait, wait, wait. You didn't quit, though. What job? Didn't you get fired? Oh, yeah, I got fired. Why?

Oh, because of my vine career. How does that happen? I used to teach kindergarten kids how to swim. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. So I get called into the office one day and my boss is there they're like hey danny uh let's talk to you about something so like what it's not even in my head because i've worked there

for like five years yeah these people fucking love me so i'm just like yeah what's going on like maybe some like kid's parent called and he's like you know i like, the little Jewish kid, so the parents would call all the time, be like, you know, like, Jeremiah's not swimming fast enough. So, like, you know, we had to get. You know what I'm saying? So you get a lot of parent complaints. I'm like, all right, here we go. My kid is so wet.

Why is he so wet after swimming class? What is happening there? He's soaking. Those are what the calls were. Everything. He can't breathe under the water. What is going on? What are you even teaching him?

What am I paying for? I remember sitting down, and they were like, yeah, Danny. And he was whispering. And I was like, yo, what's going on? Why are you whisper talking? And he was just like, I've come across some stuff on the internet. And I was like, oh.

I was like, all right. And he was like, yeah, all this stuff about cumming and sucking on, I'm just going to say it, titties. And they were like, I thought for sure He would say breasts No no no And he was like

Parents have reached out to us And I was like What the fuck And they were like Yeah you know It's just that We can't have you here anymore And I was just like

Alright that's cool And then I just like Left And I went home And I was just like I'll show them I'll fucking show them And they just started

Singing about tits Like more and more Every day And then they closed the app And then I had to get another job so they closed the app and you didn't think of trying to like transition people to instagram right no man i was like they weren't about i was like hood rich in my head you know what i'm saying i was like this is gonna last forever you know i was like oh damn dude i was like i'm, damn, dude. I was like, I'm like, once I got like an easy connect, like I thought I made it. I was like, I'm mad rich now.

You know what I mean? And then it was just like, yeah, your livelihood's gone. So then I had to get all these jobs. And then I worked at a group home. Really? Yeah, driving a van and teaching, you know, helping them, like getting them to their teachers and shit. Like basically, because these kids were fucking crazy.

These kids would fight each other every day. Like, talking about worst situation kids. And kids would get in the van to be like, yeah, I got to go here. And he'd be like, yo, aren't you going to let me suck your tits? I love that. So, I basically lived, like, a whole, like, is it biopic? Biopic? Yeah, sure.

Biopic. Yeah, so, like, that's what it was. I felt like the wrestler. I felt like Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I'm a fucking loser now, trying to sing about that. And then I never really thought, I was never business-minded enough to be like, yo, I got to transfer this over to Instagram or transfer this over to YouTube.

This. Yeah, this. Yeah. This fucking- This thing I got. This fucking tit content. This thing you don't know how to say it again. This fucking-

This fucking tit content. Where do I put it? Transfer it over here But yeah That's how That's how I had Some internet fame I was going Most business

People are going Listen We got this titty We got to buy these tits We got to buy these tits We got to find a way We got to find a way You know what's funny though?

Burger King was like We got to move These fucking chicken fries Yeah Yeah That's how it was that's how it was you did it for Burger King there's a real study that Burger King launched chicken fries and they're for kids and they put like a million dollars into a tv ad and they got nothing and then they put a hundred thousand dollars into paying a thousand vine celebrities and sales like quadrupled.

Yeah, that's what they used to do. That's when I realized TV was over and I still didn't understand how to transition but that was my first revelation of like, this is over.

Yeah, because Vine was around for like four years. Every Super Bowl, Budweiser would hit me up with like $12,000 campaigns. Yeah, they'd just be like,

yeah, we want you to like just come out here and like hang out by a Budweiser can. I'd be like, dude, I'll do that shit

a hundred times. You know? And dude, I'll do that shit. You know, and then I was like, I'll fucking, I'll fuck the shit out of these kids. These group home kids. Yeah. And then they did,

um, fuck the shit out of these group home kids wait who said that I didn't hear that at all I didn't hear that that's Cass I didn't bro

Cass is my I said fuck these kids I didn't say fuck I'll fuck the shit out of you I didn't say fuck my group home kids oh you were doing my comments are very important

wow you know context is important especially I did a whole campaign for fucking Jlly rancher and their hashtag was keep on sucking that was another bag and then i just fucking blew all that money no one can spend money faster than me you got a rolly on i do i do it is a nice watch

when i uh i remember i went to italy i landed in Milano, and I just went right into the Versace store, and he texted me already. He goes, you fucking spent it already, aren't you? I was like, yeah, I got drops. And then he took a picture in the robe in like eight different locations. I'm like, what is this? Yeah, I took pictures in a Versace robe everywhere I went in Italy the entire time.

Just imagine him walking around the streets of Italy. It was 90 degrees, too. That's actually very funny Instagram material. You're like a good creator. You just need, are you Jewish? You need a Jew. I grew up around Jews. You need more Jew in you.

Tell one of the kids that you were teaching to swim to manage your finances. You're good. I did grow up around Jews. There it is right there, yeah. It's 94 degrees in Rome that day. Oh, yeah, that's me at the Kiff Versace show. Jesus Christ. Up there.

Yo, Donatella Versace came in. She goes, you look amazing. Really? Yeah. And I was like, that's dope. Now let me get some free shit. You should have said, let me suck them titties. I didn't buy shit in there.

Imagine she stopped him. She was like, aren't you the let me suck your titties? That'd be so funny She's like Dan Yo you know how I first saw his videos I For the first couple

I was like Is he trying to be a singer Cause you really can sing Cause you can carry a note Yeah thank you Yeah So he's not wack Nah nah

Definitely not wack Yo Cass My god bro My god bro Yo but that's Those are the guys Who end up being funny with it. There's this guy, I forget his fucking name.

Casey Fuel? Casey Fry. Casey Fry. This kid, he dances. Yeah, he's a good dancer. He's a good dancer, but he leans into the absurdity of taking dance too serious. He goes like this, but with a straight face. Bro, I watch these things, and I fucking cry laughing.

Yeah, he's a funny dude this guy is good having a talent and understanding funny that's a amazing and understanding how absurd that talent like look at this like oh this is hold on stop 45 million views bro bro that's insane this kid kills me dude that's fucking talent

god damn it yeah cause it's like if you're gonna sing and like rap and shit like I can't rap about like pushing bricks and shit like you know I grew up in the fucking suburbs

you know what I mean? I sell weed. Everybody sells weed. You guys were friends your whole lives, or this is recent? No, this is, I think you've, I hate to say the word discover. What? Found? Yeah.

How did you hear of me? Oh, because of Vine. He's getting like a million followers on Vine. So I knew who he was, and I knew he was from New York. because of Vine. He's getting like a million followers on Vine. So I knew who he was and I knew he was from New York and then we started talking

when you got a job at some startup and you were like, yo, come in here. I don't know if they might want to give equity away. I was like, all right, cool. I'll go. And then it was just like, it never happened.

Company folded like three months later. They're like, we got Khloe Kardashian coming in and she's going to push all this money. I was like, this is going to not work out. But I kind of just stayed in touch

through there and then like two years ago then we started doing like the podcast together. I was doing the podcast for a while before that.

Just by yourself? Sometimes. I don't know how he did that. Sometimes I would do it by myself but other times I would do it just like my friends

who aren't like, like that would have never been sustainable because they're not like comedians. They're not, you know, whatever. They're just kind of like, so there's do it just like my friends who aren't like, like that would have never been sustainable because they're not like comedians. They're not, you know, whatever. They're just kind of like, so there's sometimes it's like dead air. And I was like, all right, cool. Next topic.

It's just, it's just wild to see, um, like the internet creators kind of coming together and realizing that, you know, we actually kind of move media way more effectively than the traditional routes. Yeah, I mean, yo, to be honest with you, I'm not fucking Nostradamus or anything, but I knew this was going to happen. It's just that everyone, and I think with comedians specifically, there was a certain amount of pride back in the day when all these teeny bopper kids were making it big

on YouTube or social media, and they were like, dude, that's like a... They're above it or something. Yeah, they were like, dude, that's like, uh, uh, they're above it. Yeah. They were above it. And they're like, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to whatever.

And I remember specifically when I used to go in, cause I met our guys years ago when I, uh, we used, I used to record a podcast at a standup with Kate. Oh shit. Yeah. So I known Joe for four or five years.

Oh, this is crazy. I would meet comedians all the time and you would be surprised how many times you're like, Oh dude, I wanted to hate you. And I how many times they're like, oh, dude, I wanted to hate you. And I was like, I get it

because on the outside looking in at me back in the day, I didn't, you know, I didn't, I didn't do stand up. I didn't take

the traditional route. What the fuck is this kid? You know, you know like, you know, you know how like coal miners think that they're still gonna to have jobs?

Elaborate. Right? Like in like 50 years from now. Even now from now. Yeah. We're not going to really use coal that much. But they're like, I'm a coal miner and that's what I'm going to do. And there are a lot of stand-ups.

And it's not just stand-ups, but there's a lot of people that have done it one way and they've put everything in their life into going down this one path. A lot of comedians are like taxi drivers. And Uber's around. And they're like, nah, but I got the medallion. I'm gonna get this thing out. You know what I'm saying?

I've invested all this. Yeah, so it's like, so when they see someone else having a lot of success, right? When they see it's really hard for them because they don't want to change. So they'd rather hate you than change. And I got that.

I understood that totally. And I was like, I agree because I hate all those kids anyway. Most of the people back in the day that were making content on the internet, I was like, this is ridiculous. It's horrible. So now it's better.

You have to throw your success in their face. That's the only way they'll change. I swear to God. I want him to be more like that. I want him to be more of a piece of shit. Yeah, well, you have to be a piece of shit, but you don't have to be bashful about it. For me, what I'll do...

I don't even know if I should share this. Here's what I'll do. Sometimes, like... Nah, because I'm going to say this. As Andrew's homie who really is just proud of him, there's a lot of comics who will not give him credit for like the reason they're putting up clips

like when someone's like you're just doing what Andrew's doing I'm like yeah I'm trying to do exactly what Andrew's doing see if I can maybe if he didn't do one thing I think I could do better than everything else that's the playbook but a lot of comics will be like hey man you gotta put your content online and they'll like have the conversation with me and Schultz comics will be like, hey man, you gotta put your content online and they'll have the conversation

with me and Schultz and I'm like, who the fuck? You can maybe turn to me but I've already had this conversation with the guy who, you know what I mean? So I like that he rubs in it a bit.

I don't rub it in but I'm not arguing. It comes off disingenuous if you don't be honest about your success to people. I don't do the fake humble shit yeah fake humbles because you're not helping nobody with that exactly if you're out here being fake humble everybody's gonna continue starving if you're like yo this is the way you eat then

everybody can eat but like if i get into like an argument debate where like i even have big like sometimes there's like a fight about it and it's like i don't even know why i'm fighting i'm trying to help you like why are we fighting yeah so like sometimes what I'll do is I'll find out who's coming in to the club that I just played the weekend after me. Right? And then like,

I'll like leave something in the green room that they might see. So, so, like, the club that I was in. like,

Alex's Tesla keys or something? So, so this, we were just in Punchline Sacramento. Bro, just leave Alex. That's the flex alex and and the club gave me

like a little like printout and it was like congratulations on four sold-out shows blah blah blah just a little paper that was cool nice thing right and i could have just thrown that out at the end of the weekend but instead what i did is i uh because i'm a psychopath i uh i i looked who was coming in next weekend and i realized that we've had some debates about this And then I took one of the framed photos You sure you want to say what club it is? Because people are going to listen I was about to say

I was about to go Google right now I took one of the framed photos on the wall Right? And it was Marlon Wayans Who was performing there Not one, Sean Wayans And then we took We opened up the photo

And we placed the four sold out shows thing over the photo. But it's kind of the same color palette. So you might not really notice. Right. Yeah, it blends in enough to look real. Exactly.

So my goal is that someone's just sitting inside that green room looking up, thinking about, man, how do I get more people in this club? And then they see that photo on the wall. So yeah that's my what a piece of shit that's diabolical to add to your point though like some some old comedians get it like um i remember david allen greer was at the club one night and he was like so what do you do carolines is the club yeah used to work at

carolines yeah carolines and um david allen greer was there and it was just him he didn't have like an entourage and like we're just chopping it up and like we're talking and david allen greer's smart as shit yeah you know what i mean like he's a classically trained like actor and shit like spian yeah he is exactly that's being a shit so like we're talking a little bit and i was like yeah like you know like I've been thinking about doing stand up

but like everyone is like such a purist or like an artiste and like you know like this is like you know it's like a wrestler like if you don't do

the indies like you're not a real wrestler you know what I'm saying and it's like he looks at me and he goes man fuck that shit he was just like dude he's like man whatever fuck that shit. He was just like, dude,

he's like, man, whatever puts people in here, you fucking do that shit. Don't listen to anybody else. Oh, yeah. Because the old people, the older... That you enjoy.

Whatever puts people in that you enjoy. Yeah. Don't do some shit you don't like doing. For sure. But like, I really, there are comics that are like friends of mine, ours, that don't do the comedy that's most natural to them because they're worried what their peers would think.

Right. Or what the industry would think. Or what the industry would think. But like they have like really interesting skill sets that they might think that they're above. Right. Right? Whereas realistically speaking, like being able to be the comedy purist was a thing of luxury. That's because the industry was so like monopolized that

they would just put you at the top if they wanted so you could do whatever type of comedy you want now you actually got to bring people in yeah now you're competing so it's like you better be funny and people better like you right all right even before you had to bring people in but the guys who got you out to the most people were the networks so you would people didn't know anything else yeah like the people would have no clue. Right. You know, there was a time where, I mean, you know, obviously one of our favorite comics, I'm sure all of us, you know, Dave Attell, right?

Yeah. It's like everybody knew Attell. Yeah. I used to watch Insomniac every night. And it's like, oh my God, this is hilarious. And then you go see him at the club, you're like, holy shit, this guy's hilarious. Now you don't see him on as many things. He didn't stop being hilarious.

Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You just don't see him on as many things, so people probably aren hilarious yeah yeah you know what i'm saying you just don't see him on as many things so people probably aren't coming out as much as as he deserves yeah you know any comedy purist will be like yo that's the goat one of the guys one of the goats it's also hard because we're just a little bit older how old are you i'm 27. so you grew up with the internet being a viable entertainment option i didn't get cable internet until college so the idea that you could like watch content online yeah i grew up glued to the tv yeah but i didn't i

didn't i feel like i'm i'm like at that age where it's kind of like i was in that world but not really because i didn't have like a cell phone until like high school and didn't get a laptop until i was like in college so like i didn't really have like access that and even when it was available at first we were were like, fuck that shit. It's like, yo, if you spend more than two hours. That's good on you then, because it's hard for a lot of people to adapt to new technology in general and the new wave.

And you supply that to the career shit. It's like, you just got to shift your whole mindset on careers. That's the value, though, of being in kind of our generation. I'm 36. Akash, you're 35. Kaz, you're 32. I'm 30. You're 30. So in kind of our generation i'm 36 you know i'll cause you're 35 32 i'm 32 you're 30 so like kind of in our gender you're on the like the younger cusp of it but we can't we're grandfathered in through tv but we also understand internet yeah so like anybody who's industrious is gonna go oh i see how all this is gonna get there eventually why not get

there first which is i'm sure what you did did early on, right? You're like, okay, people are on YouTube right now. This is where the game is. It's not to be played on FX, whatever fucking channel nobody's going to watch. But there are kids that know nothing about traditional TV. So they can't take any of the wisdom. And there's a lot of game that comes from TV. Oh, a bunch. A bunch.

We're like the last generation of people that grew up without the internet. So we don't really know what it's like to create content for people because growing up you thought tv was it you made it to fucking oh hell yeah snl mad tv it's like you made it like if if you grew up just watching a lot of internet content you didn't need storylines right because so much of even vlogging right is just like thing that happened thing that happened thing that happened thing that happened even our vlogs yeah on the road right so i think what happens is if you come from like traditional tv where we're watching sitcoms and we're seeing something happen in this story arc you start to bring that to internet content and then these people have

it's like you put sugar on top of something already sweet you know what i mean it's like that's what you can get from yeah. I mean, the point of technology was, especially in media, was to make everybody famous for at least like five seconds. Everybody.

You know what I mean? But the thing is, you know, it depends what you're famous for. Like you said, a lot of this internet content, they don't take any of the values from TV

that had like, you know, plot, rising action, falling action, climax, resolution, all this type of shit. Some people are just like, this guy's plot, rising action, falling action, climax, resolution, all this type of shit.

Some people are just like, this guy's famous for fucking singing about titties. There's a reason wrestling still fucking exists. Yes. It's not a mistake and it's not because of body slams.

Right? It's literally just story. It's storytelling. That's all the fuck it is. And I also think like, one of the biggest things with that is, I think you're right when you're saying that like,

everyone is going to get there in five seconds. Because tweets go viral all the time this and that you go to their page they have a thousand followers like it doesn't go up it doesn't whatever so the biggest thing that you know our generation needs needed to grasp that i think i learned a little early on is that you just need to be prepared for that moment yes a lot of people didn't take it seriously and even to this day like i people ask me what i I do. Oh, we've had, we had, you know, Giannis is a good friend of ours.

He's the same guy. He was fucking, Dude, Giannis Pappas is like a fucking legend. Super, exactly the same. If you're from New York City,

like, everybody knew fucking Mauricio, Especially, like, I grew up in Astoria, there's mad Greeks, like, this dude's a legend.

Like, everyone knows Giannis. But, uh, Giannis and the History Hyenas podcast. Yeah, I love that show, man yeah I gotta go on that I love

yo I love those guys I fucking love those dudes Chrissy and Giannis legendary legendary content but yeah I think that everyone needs to be like prepared

and I learned that early on but I think a lot of people don't take it like seriously that like social media and whatever can turn into a legitimate job like now I mean people kind of get it

and they're like oh okay people can build careers off this but in the beginning I was seeing what is happening and I'm like, all right, I'm going to do everything on all these different platforms so that when that moment comes where you get that, there's a bunch of stuff for people to see. You know, I was just watching this interview with Russ and it was like validating the thought that I just said because he was talking about- Shout out to Russ, that's my guy. I fucking love that dude.

But like he put out like 11 albums of some shit and no one listened to him yeah uh but he was talking about how when he finally did uh get on and had a you know his songs like do what they did then everyone was able to go and listen to 300 songs yeah yeah put out one song and it gets popping there's nothing there's nothing else left yeah that's that's so weird man because russ was the guy and i never i listened to his music a little bit but he was the guy who inspired me to to lean into digital because i was like yeah because he put out a song a week so i was like well i should be able to do a joke a week yeah and i started that and that's what started this one i'm talking about synergy man people are finding each other but it it is interesting what you're saying about like a viral moment is meaningless unless you have a catalog.

Yeah. Right? It used to be, there used to be a time where there were so few people going viral that if you did, it was like you were a person now.

Yeah. The only person I could even think of that happening was Jenna Marbles because she was like the first one. She had that video

that went viral and then she just weekly put out videos and they were all just like crushing and she still like gets millions of views and shit. And she's fucking paid. She like hosts shows on Sirius like crushing. And she still like gets millions of views and shit.

And she's fucking paid. She like hosts shows on Sirius. You gotta be ready. I remember when I was at. You gotta be ready to go viral, man. That's the one thing I keep telling people is like everybody putting out clips right now, you're not going to make it off a clip. Yeah.

But if you have 30 clips, when one goes, you'll feel that waterfall. You'll feel that cascade going. Yeah. And you gotta be relentless too. Like that's how me and Russ Russ started to know each other. When I was editor at The Source, that motherfucker would DM me his songs

and not just me, every fucking rap blogger that not writes the Two Dope Boys, all those. He would DM me songs to post on the website every fucking day

and it was a different song every day and I thought they were all whack. I wasn't fucking with him. I'm like, but I'd be honest with it but then you know once that first song hit he had all he had hundreds of fucking records right albums mix it everything just ready to dive into and you know then granted on top of that he's just really fucking smart business wise knew how to fucking monetize all

that shit like kind of believed in himself and didn't really sign to nobody big until he got somebody that was, you know. That's also like brand awareness in a way. Because doing that to all those people and then the one song that pops, everyone who's getting those DMs. Now we're all like, oh, this is the guy. No one has enough followers besides like, you know, the elite elite in the world that you don't see these messages that are coming in every single day. For sure. That's the thing, man.

That's the most annoying thing when someone doesn't respond. It's like, I know you're looking. It's not a look. I don't respond just because I decided not to respond. If you look at your number of followers and they match the other person, it's like, dude, I check my shit constantly. All the time.

Of course. And you go into the DMs that are like the ones Instagram think you didn't want But you do That's why Instagram Makes you feel so thirsty Because it's like Put it in one thing

Don't make me go to all They have primary And general Yeah What is that? It's the blue checks And like bitches With a lot of followers

And then It's just bitches and dudes Like the dudes Are the ones over there And sometimes you go in there Because every once in a while There's some chick Who's like on private

with tattoos. Got a screenshot that's doing it a little bit after you. I got a girl, man. I'm faithful. So it's just like I got to see

what's on the market. I got a window shop. You ain't buying any of these window shops. There's a reason stores got windows. You know what I'm saying? Why they got windows

for them? Oh, yo. I can't walk through the mall on IG. How you getting mad at me? Let me ask you this question though. I'm just looking at these bitches to appreciate my girl. That's it. Look at all these hoes. You should look at these women. These girls don't even got their toenails done, babe. I know that shit is fake though.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't even got the toenails done, babe. Sorry, babe, but I know that shit is fake, though. I don't mean to be, no, no, no. I'm still going to buy it. But I was going to ask you, you know the DMs you get when it's like, yo, what's up?

I'm in your city. Yeah. Like, you should come to this bar and hang out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's such a crap shoot. You know what I mean? It's like, sometimes I just want to be like, all right, yeah. But then I'm just like, nah. You might be a serial killer.

I feel bad not responding to those. So sometimes I will respond. I'll be like, oh, sorry. You know why that happens? It's because they don't have a place where they can see you. When they hit me up, it's like, yo, are you doing a show? That's their place to connect. So that's easy. I'll be like, like yeah I got this or I don't have

that yeah like they just want to be in the room with you yeah but you don't have a room so it's like you want to get a beer right next to you I remember this other girl Heather a good friend of mine Heather she was like yo one of my friends just wants to eat with you. She's like, you want to come hang out? I was like, all right, cool. I came to hang out. And she was with these two dudes.

And she's like, oh, man, they just love the podcast. They just want to just hang out with you. See, I'm still not comfortable with it. Because I feel like a fucking museum exhibit. And the only reason why I went is because I knew the girl. I'm like, she's mad cool. And I was like, all right. If I know you're just going Gonna be looking at me The whole time

There's a weird thing When I was first on Wiling Out I went to go visit my mom She was working in New Mexico Yeah We didn't have money She had to go take a job

In the middle of nowhere And so I go to her office And so like to them I'm a big deal They don't even have internet Like they're just like Oh this guy's on Wiling Out They come

They're asking for autographs It was like real It was like stepping into A fucking time portal Or something Autographs But then They're like hey We're eating cake it's so-and-so's birthday if you guys want to go and i'm like yeah sure we'll go i'm eating cake and i can feel the whole fucking room looking at me and i want to be like yo guys i'm just eating cake like it's fine

and then i had to get out of there i was like it's yo appreciate all the love but like this just i can't i'm not yeah i'm not comfortable you're getting better with that i'm getting better with that he's talking to me a lot this is like you just have to be you don't put pressure on yourself and that's what i would do yeah but yeah there's a weird pressure to like live up to their expectation especially y'all because y'all comedians like i gotta be funny i don't gotta be excited to watch you oh yeah the next oh whatever y'all have to like fucking pull a rabbit out your head do a trick or or something like that. Yo, it's weird. Like at first I felt that the first time around, and then the second time around, I just didn't feel it at all.

And weirdly enough, it just works. I don't know. I don't mind. I'll hang out with people if they're cool. I mean, honestly, people that not only work for us or work with us, a lot of them started listening to the podcast. Maybe every one of them. Yeah.

Yeah, Al. Ed. Ed in. You know what I mean? There are other people like my consiglieres. They listen. They start. So there's a lot of,

I think there's a lot of value you find from the people who really fuck with you. And then there's also weirdos for sure. Of course. What up, Al? Hey, how's it going, Al? Got the weave out? We took a red eye to get back today.

And we were in LA and we smoked before we got on the plane. Nice. And I straight up left my bag at the Hudson News. This is how crazy it is. This is how high I was. I put Alex's bag in the overhead bin. And didn't even realize I didn't put my own bag in the overhead bin.

Until you got back to New York. Yeah, like I was getting out the thing and I was like, wait, didn't I have a, ah, shit. And then the lady's like, where do you think you left it? You think you left it at TSA? I was like, honestly, Hudson News. I think I left it at Chippo Express. I left it at one of the next to the brownie brittle. It's on the ground, bro.

Oh, shit. Then I have to describe what I packed? That cross-country high on the plane. How the fuck are you getting that bag now? Did they find it? I don't know. There's probably like a bomb scare at that point. John, I literally had to shut down 100% because there's just a black suitcase just in the middle of Hudson's Cove.

Yeah, that is a big red flag. Right in front of the smart water alkaline. I went to the bathroom and left my bag once and this is when I knew I was like, oh, you're brown at an airport. I went to the bathroom and I was like,

where the fuck are you going without your bag? Oh, yeah, yeah, don't play around with that. Take that everywhere with you and I was like, oh, okay, all right. But you know what is also funny

is that like, if you're a brown guy at an airport, you can leave your bag anywhere and no one will steal it. Oh, ain't nobody stealing it. They're taking it. I'll want whatever's in here.

Everybody listen to it first. No, it's good. I don't hear anything. It's good. Stop checking. It's good. I'm keeping it. But yeah, man,

it was, I had a rough. I got stopped at TSA like four or five days. I missed our flight. Oh, jeez. I mean, I was also late, but I missed it.

We all went to Nashville. We were supposed to leave on Thursday. Great city. Awesome city. Great city. I missed our flight. Oh, geez. I mean, I was also late, but I missed it. We all went to Nashville. We were supposed to leave on Thursday. Great city. Awesome city. Great city. I don't leave on Nashville, man. You gotta go. You gotta go.

It's fun as shit. Nashville's ridiculous. It might be a great white city. I was about to say, like, it might be a white boy place. It's more white. Yo, I'm not against some white boy fun, bro. It's insanely white. You gotta go to the Hood Princess, though.

Yeah. You remember Michael DeBay? He was from Nashville. He put me on the Princess back when we came back. Yeah. I got a Prince's. You remember Michael DeBay? He was from Nashville. He put me on the Prince's back. They got a great hot chicken spot. But as far as the fun, it's super white boy fun. Yeah. But it's great.

The whole block is literally just live dance. It's just whiteness. Oh, boy. Go to a hot hot. No shit. They're playing Weezer. They're playing country, dog. It's like white people New Orleans, right?

Yes. That's what it feels like. That's exactly what it is. Holy shit, man. That was good. White people New Orleans. That's what everybody told me. That's exactly what it is. Holy shit. That was good. White people in New Orleans. That's what everybody told me. So instead of jazz,

it's like, you know, Nirvana. And it's two blocks. If you go on the roof of some of these bars, you can see it like, yo, this is sick. And then the next block over,

it's dark. Yeah. It's like right next to the arena. That's a great way of looking at it. It's white New Orleans. It definitely is white New Orleans. And there's mad party buses just driving. Just to go two blocks? I a great way of looking at it. It's white New Orleans. It definitely is white New Orleans. And there's mad party buses just driving.

Just to go to a bus? I don't know where they're going. Bachelorette capital of the Midwest. So you know how on the coast we go to Vegas? Yeah. They don't do that shit

in the Midwest. They all go to Nashville. I know when they had the NFL draft there, I'm like, oh, there's some elite white boy fun happening. I'm like, you go to New York your entire life.

You do Chicago one year in Tennessee. It was Halloween, so we saw Elvis punch a pirate at the bar we were at in slow motion. He even charged it up. He had it back here. So drunk. It was great. I was like, yo, this is the only place I'm going to see this. Wait, why were you guys in Nashville?

We just went because- A buddy of ours plays for the Rangers. Okay. So we're like, yeah, we're going to go to the game there. Against the Predators. Yeah.

Isn't that a hilarious name for a team? Yo, we've been talking about it the whole time. During the YouTube movie. Like, go Predators. That's where you can tell Predators.

Let's go Predators. Let's go Predators. Cosby's favorite team. I've been getting into hockey there's a funny there's a funny clip of a Predators game

where the this like like homophobic country obviously homophobic country singers singing like the national anthem

and the guy's announcing them and they're supposed to be like I guess kind of crossover so he tries to say like welcome

these two genre bending blah blah blah and he said and next these two gender bending singers Boo, get him out of here, I'm live

He said homophobic country singers, also known as country singers Gender bending singers So we went out there How do you bend a gender? Ask these hoes You can do anything nowadays

Yeah, I guess it is, it's a little too open We gotta tighten that up We went out there to strand. How do you bend a gender? Ask these hoes. You could do anything nowadays. Dude, yeah, I guess it is. It's a little too open with that. We got to tighten that up. We got to tighten that up. We got to tighten that up. We should be able to tighten it. That's what people don't realize. You got to tighten it up a little bit.

Just tighten it up. Yeah. It doesn't have to be shut off. No, 63 too many. 63 too many. How many is a good number? One. It's men.

No, I'm joking. It's men And then whatever else Is there No but it's like So we went there And then our buddy Ended up getting a concussion Didn't even play

But we still went to the game And we were walking around And it's not a real place Like New Orleans Isn't a real place either Yeah If you go on Bourbon Street It's not real

Two days max in New Orleans The only difference is Is that you can make A right turn off Broadway and you're okay. You can walk a couple blocks. I remember a cop on a horse in New Orleans once. I was fucked up. And I was just walking around and I went to make this ride.

He was like, yeah, I wouldn't go down there. And I was just like, he was on a horse? And I was like, I'm going to listen to this cop on a horse. Seeing a cop on a horse, we talked about that too. Fucking cops on horses in New York what the fuck are they gonna do yeah what is their job just turn left

and do you just make a sharp turn do they send you to like horse school or some shit if a horse

because you can't ride a horse really cops are the most like working class people usually so it's like what guy from

Staten Island got a stable this guy got transferred in from Ohio most like working class people usually so it's like what guy from staten island got a stable that guy stole my bag it's like which one is like yeah i've never seen them stop a crime i've never seen a horse make a sharp turn go that way like break their ankles like drama Jameret. Only exists in Central Park. I can see it in Central Park. It's mad grass there. You know what I mean? But even then, it's so hilarious that we have this

Italian Dothraki horse army that is just keeping New York safe, right? You want a picture of my horse? It's like crow-few. Hey, Tony, giddy up over here. Watch, watch, watch this. I'm gonna go do this with his front legs Watch, watch, watch this. I can make him do this with his front legs.

Watch this, watch this. But there's still fucking, there's still mooks about it the whole time. Hey, hey, hey, I'm going to go shit right near that. I'm going to go shit

near the escalator. Watch me go on. I'm going to come on the escalator. Take a picture with that. But I never understood that either, like cops on horses. And it's like cruel

to the horse, too. It is, bro. And not only that, but it's New York City. And it's like cruel to the horse, too. It is, bro. And not only that, but it's New York City. Like, horses, like, they shoot them for no fucking reason. So if they, like, twist an ankle, they're like, oh, we gotta put that down. Oh, yeah, we gotta put them down. And they shoot horses. So now we're killing these horses, man.

Twice. Twice. We're enslaving the horses and then we're killing them when they're spraying their ankles on the cobblestone. I can't wait till it happens. But, like, horse racing Is like a Is like a weapon Jesus Christ Horse racing is like

It's such a old Betting thing Like I wonder what like Millennial horse names Are gonna be Like 50 years from now What are they gonna have Like it's gonna be

It's gonna be like the Guarantee you It's gonna let me suck Them titties horse In 15 years It's gonna be fire dude It's a dummy thick Coming around the corner.

With two Cs. And whoa. That's incredible. I always think about Greer Barnes has a great horse cop joke. Does he? It's great, dude.

It's so good. Because he gets into the sound of it and everything. I gotta check that out. But yeah, it's's like what do you do with the person you arrest you know how strong you gotta be to toss somebody who's got their fucking hands binded like up on a horse it's impossible yeah it's like the uh you gotta get him on first He just starts kicking the horse Like Who's joke Whose joke was it

Was it Patrice The joke about like What is the female cop Gonna do That sounds like Patrice Yeah He had this joke about Like he saw this girl cop

He's like I gotta let you arrest me Alright give me the handcuffs I'll put the handcuffs Patrice is is big dude Jesus is big What you gonna really do bro Oh we saw a fine ass cop in there

Remember that thick ass cop In the airport Al I mean she wasn't fine But I never seen a cop thick And wearing like Cops Female cops are thick She brought her own jeans

Wait she was she was wearing jeans and like thick jeans tight she was a jeaned cop jeaned cop I've never even seen was she like undercover

the fuck I'm getting from the waist down this girl was out here on laundry day you think you'd be a good undercover cop I think I look too much like a cop you look like a cop

yeah you look like you look like the fuzz especially with this hat I look a little bit like the fuzz I don't think I could be an undercover cop? I think I look too much like a cop. You look like a cop, yeah. You look like the fuzz, especially with this hat. I don't think I could be an undercover cop. I'd let it spill. I'd be like, they would not. You look like an undercover cop right now. You have the undercover cop's uniform. You're just waiting at the turnstile

like, no, I'm off duty. I'm not working. We had a great back and forth with a Coke dealer in Nashville. So tallest, blackest dude in the club, right? From Brooklyn. Do you sell the Coke? Walks up to him and offers him Coke. So I was like, yo, he's talking to him.

He's definitely trying to sell him something. So I've been sober for like a year. So he comes up to me and he goes what's up man got that good white I go yo man in recovery yeah and it was so pleasant he goes oh good for you man

yeah he's been supportive it's not Southern Comfort bro that's what I felt like on Southern Comfort even a drug dealer is a polite oh good for you did you buy the coke

I did not buy the coke. But I got mad. I got very New York. Because the dude was from Brooklyn, right? I have a hood voice. No, no, no. I'm saying that dude was from Brooklyn. Yes, he was.

Because when I'm in different states and someone tells me they're from New York, I feel like I got to be New York now. It just changes. I was like, no, changes. I was like, I was like, no man, I'm good, but we in Nashville, there's a lot of white girls, you're probably making a killing right now. He's like, yeah, just walk away.

It's alright, man, go Knicks. Everybody has different voices for different things. You know what I'm saying? I'll definitely New York it up a little bit. If I'm in Whole Foods, I'm like, yeah, I'm just looking for avocado. But if I'm in Kiff, I'm like, yo, it's good. Yo, yo, we chilling? All right, all right.

Just looking for avocados. I got the Kendrick Lamar collab in here. Yo, is there an uglier collab than a Kendrick Lamar collab? You know, those Reacts. You know, the Reacts. The Mackie Reacts? Oh, man. And I like me some Mackie Reacts, but I'll take them if y'all send them to me.

What is it? They just came out with this collaboration. Do you know the React Element 55? No. What is it? Is this the one that ties itself? React Element 55. No, no, no.

I have those, though. Those are dope because, yeah, there they are right there. For $411. I mean, I'm going to get a pin. I don't hate those. I like those, but those are Kendrick's, I think. I don't like the ones that are see-through. Those are Kend I'm going to get a pair. I don't hate those. I like those, but go off. Those are Kendricks, I think. I don't like the ones that are see-through.

Those are Kendricks. Yeah, those are... Those are actually all right. I never thought of Kendricks having a question sensor. I got a pair. I think I might sell them, though. They're going for like $500. They're like two different colors.

React Element 55 sounds like something that Bob Lazar was working on when he was like, it's a weird-ass name. Shouts to Bob, man. I don't know. They actually look better here. Hey, right here. They look better here in the unboxing.

I was like, I don't know about that. All right. I swear you know you like sneakers too much. You watch unboxings of shoes. Yeah, I'm a fucking loser, dog. Who's the YouTuber? Who's that? It's Chris B.

It's not exactly shattered backboard leather, but it's like... He's like, the material is breathable. And the worst is that I know what that means. I'd be like, he's right. He's right. I feel so good about myself. People compare shattered backboard leather to like every leather in the world. They really actually shattered backboard leather is the nicest leather.

They broke the mold there, bro. I've been fucking with Tiago. They're just like, yeah, it's a shattered backboard. I got my girl Chanel purse, bro. It's made out of shattered backboard. It's beautiful, bro. Low-key, it's beautiful. Yo, we got to go into the fanciest stores like Balenciaga and be like, what's this,

shadow backboard right there? Yeah, yeah. The new ones look like someone just jizzed on them, the new ones. Yeah, it's a little shiny, right? It looks like tar. But the OG shattered OG shattered back boards Those are the new ones The 1.0's

Gross Yo quietly though It's the one above it I like these Yeah there they are Those are them So people just compare everything To the leather on that shoe

Did you see the new Kyrie's Yo he's got a real nice Tumble leather I'm like alright dude Fucking shoe's $300 Did you guys see Did you guys see Kyrie's fucking hissy fit? What hissy fit? What's the Nets record?

Are they three and five? They won last night. They beat the Pelican this night. He had a full out girlfriend hissy fit. Oh, DeAndre Jordan? DeAndre Jordan didn't hand him the ball off, and then the white kid on the team turned it over. Joe Harris.

Joe Harris. He's nice with Joe Harris JJ Redick also good We had Carl Lentz on here he's like I cheer for cheer for him. And I was like, where? He's like, because I support minorities. Yeah. How can you not support the minorities, bro? You think about it, too. Like, how good that white boy on the last bench of an NBA team has to be. Like, if he came into any open gym, he would bust your ass.

Yeah, probably. Oh, yeah. I've seen that happen. I've seen that happen. Nobody knows who he is. Like Scalabrini. Oh, Scalabrini. And people try Scalabrini oh Scalabrini and people try Scalabrini

first of all people forget he's 6'10 no that's the thing apparently I heard this story I don't know if it's true but apparently

everybody like when he was in Boston he was like look all y'all think I can't play I'm gonna be at this court anybody who thinks they can beat me come through

and he beat the shit out of everybody I remember that show the fucking guard and Kobe you know what I mean? Yeah. Roasted.

But what I'm saying is, like, to have a coach even be like, yo, Brian, stick Kobe. Stick Kobe. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I'm not doing that. What the fuck? I always wanted to be, I never wanted to be a star. I always wanted to be, like, the guy on the bench that gets hyped when, like, the best

players dunk. Like, you know, like the white kids in college. Never take off that long sleeve jumper right now. Right now? You see the white kids in college, they got, like, fucking synchronized dances and shit. Right now is the best time to be that, you know, like the white kids in college. Never take off that long-distance jumper right now. The white kids in college, they got like fucking synchronized dances and shit. Right now is the best time to be that guy.

You can be fucking famous. Just be that guy and the best coming up with the fucking courtside dances. What was that college team? Wingate or some shit? Yeah, they would have

some college team. They would like resuscitate people or shit. They would do mad exercise. Oh, that would be the most. They gave birth, bro. How did they get

no time to go fouls? They had a towel to cover under one of the people, and then they just came out through their legs. But they had to organize. Cheering was great. What's your coach doing at that time? It's the basketball touchdown, bro.

A big dunk. You got to see that. Got to. I mean, Kyrie's kind of. I saw that he went to China in the offseason. I was like, yeah, he's coming back weird. He was always weird. He was coming back with a new tattoo.

He was always different. He was posting mad shit He's like I found myself I was like Find yourself in the garden Next year He's got that big ass Fucking weird tattoo

What is the hand tattoo I think it's It's like a pierced It's the all seeing eye Like that yeah You got some Illuminati shit Yeah He puts on his sneakers

The Kyrie 6's Came out yesterday I don't know what the fuck it is But it's a triangle And the eye No no no It's like this And it's got two thumbs Instead of a pinky Oh. It looks like this and it's got two thumbs

instead of a pinky. Oh, yeah. It's like a double. Yeah, yeah. It's three fingers and two thumbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. The eye of Providence.

Oh, there it is. No, it's on his shoulder. Oh, no. Speaking of white players, Luka Doncic fucking smoked LeBron. I love white players. I don't know if he smoked LeBron. They both had the same numbers.

He's 20 years old. He can't even buy a beer. Yeah, what is that shit right there? It looks like a turkey with an eye in it. That is kind of weird. I hate Matthew Delvedova, though. Why? Because in the playoffs when everyone was like,

oh, he locked up Steph Curry. I was like, he sucks. He can play defense, but he's whack. He's fucking awful, dog. I was getting so mad. Him and J.J. Perea. Do you think Steph is anywhere near as great as like... Yo, let's...

Do you think Steph's hand is really broken? I think it's broken. Yeah, it's broken. I think it's fractured. It's broken, but it's one of those things that like, we're going to have to get a second opinion 40 times. They said they're going to reevaluate in eight weeks now he's gonna be back in eight weeks they'll be like all right straight games you'll be like all right just

clay's done sit down a little bit clay's done for the year and i think they were bummed so they're like all right boom steph just take it off i don't care if it's sprained i don't care what the fuck it is just take it off your third how old is it? 31? You're 31. You're brittle already. Don't grind through this season because the only way we're going to win games is if you drop 40 a game and then your career is over.

Put his hand on the fucking table and smash his shit with a hammer and let's fucking get the third overall pick or something. Would you rather have Steph or James Harden? Steph. Yeah.

Nah, I'd take Harden. I want Harden. I'd take Harden. I'd take Harden just because he gets your whole team in foul trouble. Because he goes to the line like a million times a fucking game. Nah, bro. I can't. Aesthetically, I don't like James' game.

I think it's kind of cheesy. I think Harden can get you more wins, but if you want to win a championship, Steph, he's a better team player. That's what I'm saying. Because there's other times in games that the Warriors, like, Clay will go off for 40. And it's like, who's going on for 40 when you've got Harden on your team? Nobody. I mean, besides maybe Russell Westbrook.

Russell now, yeah. I don't know. They just look at each other all game. Yeah. Well, that's what they did yesterday. Like, Westbrook just sat out. And that's not going to last. And, like, Harden is, all right, go get your 40, get the win,

beat the Grizzlies. Steph's going to keep the culture of your team intact. Like, Steph's the type of guy where he's not going to have any ego whatsoever. And when the best person on your team doesn't have an ego, you can't. Like when Tim Duncan was getting cursed out by Popovich, and then the other people on the team were like, well, I guess

he could curse me out because Tim Duncan's one of the best out there. So it's rare you get a player that is that good that has that small of an ego right and James Harden it's like

you can't tell him what the fuck to do they've been telling him to play defense for fucking years just try on defense hold on let me shoot this

one legged three he's not a bad he's not a bad one legged three bullshit that I had to see all fucking summer is the same thing with the Ben Simmons threes

they was talking all that shit oh he's gonna come and shoot one legged threes Ben Simmons is gonna come and shoot has a shot a single fucking three this year Ben Simmons play two legged D going to come and shoot one-legged threes. Ben Simmons is going to come and shoot a three. He hasn't shot a single fucking three this year, Ben Simmons.

Play two-legged D, and then we'll get to one-legged threes afterwards. That's ridiculous to me that in this league, the way the league is now, everybody shoots threes. Yeah. How tall is he, 6'8"? Who, Ben Simmons? He's 6'10". 6'10", right?

6'10". And you can't shoot a fucking three-point shot. Yo, someone say, scream. Just let him shoot one. Just attempt. No, he won't. Just shoot him. He won't even attempt him.

That's the thing that bugs me. The team's not like, hey, let's not let him hit. You know how lethal he would be if he could shoot? But think about it like this. Think about this. This is what infuriates me about it. It's like when famous people are fat. It's like, you got nothing to do.

You got all the resources. You have nothing to do, and you have all the- We just talked about this on our show we did it's all you right it's like

it's like all you have to do is go shoot and the only thing that stops me from shooting is obviously all this but getting my own rebounds you don't have to

somebody is hired on a team there's two guys two guys even worse you can buy one of those fucking machines that spits the ball back

I was playing basketball up in Toronto at the Raptors Arena, right? And this was back when Ross was there. Now, it wasn't on the actual where they play. It was at their practice facility, right? The OVO Center. No, it was before that.

This was back in the day. It really is. I can't believe how ingrained in the culture of Raptors he is. Terrence Ross, the guy who's, I think he's on the Orlando Magic. He's on the Magic now, yeah. Terrence Ross comes in and he wants to shoot a round. They shut down the whole employee game that was just going on with the Raptors. Everybody was just, every bunch of like, you know, fucking accountants and shit that play for the team.

They shut down the whole thing so he can shoot, just throw up threes, right? That's how committed they are to helping you with your shot. Who's getting the rebound? They have one guy rebounding and they have another person doing this whole netted machine where it just comes back to you

no matter where you are. Stephon Marbury did that to me at a New York sports club once. What, he just cut down the whole thing? Yeah, cut down the whole shit. We were running fives, having a great run. I was playing okay.

And then like, you know, fucking Steph comes in with like one trainer and they're like, yeah, everybody has to get out. And Steph just shot like 7,000 shots. So you're telling me Ben Simmons can't do that? You have nothing else to do? I've seen videos of him shooting the three-two. Especially when you guys shoot it. It's like Porzingis.

These guys are like 7'12". They're shooting fucking 40-yard bombs. You know what I'm saying? It's just like, dude. I mean, we've talked about this on the show. A set shot. You don't even have to do it off the dribble. You need to be able to be in the corner,

and you just pull up and hit that. Even Lonzo, right? You've seen Lonzo Ball change his form a little bit? Yeah, he shot like a CYO kid. Remember when you were 13? Say what it is. When it was too heavy. Say what it is.

He shot like one of the Chinese kids That's what he shot like Okay They're the Chinese kids That shot on their own Fucking hoop They put their hand like that Bro

They all shoot like It's a weird thing Bro It's I don't know what it is I don't know why it is But the Chinese kids That

Now listen The Chinese kids that played with us Had a normal shot The ones that were on their own hoop And there was always a group of them that were on their own hoop, would have these crazy fucking... The cannonball. Exactly. And it was over the wrong shoulder.

It was just a weird hoist. Matt apologetic, too, in the shots, too. They'd be like, I'm so sorry. That's a cultural thing. They're probably bowing. He's like, okay, make it back on D, though. Make it up to me on defense. Sorry.

He's getting locked in, bro. No worries. God damn. I feel like every so often, though, you run into one of though. Make it up to me on defense. Sorry, bro. I'm just going to steal. No worries, bro. God damn. I feel like every so often, though, you run into one of those Asian kids that's just got the craziest handle on your life. Yo. Yeah. Koreans. Fucking Koreans.

I'm super saiyan. Every single one. They're taking over all the black shit, bro. I was going to say, they're like a 12th black somewhere or some shit like that, and they always got mad handle and can break dance really well. I call switch all the time, though. I'll just be mad at time and be like, yo, pick i'll call never switch all the time though yo uh pick up uh let's switch switch on all sides bro running over screens and pick up basketball

give them one give them one give them one once they hit us like oh yeah i don't play defense on jumpers no that's my defense that's the shot we want that's the seven all right it goes up you're like coming off That's the sound we want. That's the sound we want. Every time. Or it goes up, you're like, coming off. Right in. Right in. Short.

Short. Short. Short. Short. Short. Short. Short. Short.

Short. Short. Short. Short. Short. Short. Short. Short.

Short. Short. Short. Short. Short. We out. That's the outlet. Can you just get a rebound first? I usually play point guard or shooting guard. If I ever grabbed a rebound, we out. We out. Just fucking not give a shit. Out. I also hate the guys that play. There's always a coach that's a 55-year-old dude that has construction boots on, but he's telling you how to play and shit.

He's got man keys. Back door. Back door. He's like, oh, screen. Come over to screen. We got a call on the screen. Screen coming. Triangle.

Triangle. I love when people get mad at like tough shot tough shot gotta call out the screens I'm like you suck like that's why

I'm like dude you're on your lunch break they're screening you because you're food there's a six foot five guy screening you you can't see that yo

I'm not good but I'm definitely better than I look like I would be and my favorite thing is one guy would always look at me and they'd be like, you guard him because he's the worst player. And then if I started cooking him, they'd get so fucking mad at this guy. You let this guy score? What the fuck? Especially if it was all black people, they'd get so fucking mad at this dude.

When I was a kid, I used to love playing against all black teams Because if you played well against them They loved you Of course It would be fun if you just started describing American History X right now I told you Audrey would just do it For like three months

I don't hate black people You know what I'm saying I gotta get rid of this tattoo. You didn't put the pants on. You're mobile. Who thought the bridge to racism is Guy Torrey? Bro, I'm going to start going on podcast and start telling stories from movies that are really well known. That'd be hysterical.

Oh, dude. That's going to be him. And yeah, Curve stomped this dude. I was in jail and I was folding a laundry with this black gentleman. I just realized I like black people

ever since that moment. I was eating dinner at this guy's place and he took his shirt off and he told me, go home, I'm not welcome. He had a sausage on his chest

because I'm, my last name is Schultz, I'm not even Jewish. I don't have it. But yeah But that was the best thing Bro Bro

This is Gotta be Everybody I'm done with doing that shit A random Movie But you act Dead ass

Like it's you It'd be fucking hysterical How's you and your wife being Man we were on this This ship Coming from England To America bro And hitting the iceberg

Man we had a pretty Fucking romantic time Dude we got it in We were fucking This Model T bro I and hitting the iceberg, man. We had a pretty fucking romantic time, dude. We got it in. We were fucking this Model T, bro. I was beating the pussy up while that shit was sinking, dude. How you want Andrew Akash to meet? How do you want me, yo?

You're sexy as fuck. I was actually on a game show, believe it or not. I won a million dollars on that. My brother was trying to sabotage me with the wrong answer in the bathroom. They're trying to electrocute me. I wasn't going to be one of these kids singing on the street.

Yeah, man. Yeah, I was a cop, and this dude put my wife's head in a box. So you know how many deadly sins there are, bro? You know how many deadly sins there are? This dude killed a fat guy, too. He killed a whole bunch of other people. Son, it was cold the way that fat guy died, bro.

You think he enjoyed the first few bites of that food, though? I love how... Like, of that death, that was probably the most enjoyable one until it got crazy. Oh, a lot of bites. He enjoyed a lot of bites. You think you gonna kill me? That was a test of wills.

He thought he was gonna tire him out. He thought he was gonna tire him out. Oh, my God. It's like a man versus food. That was the best episode of man versus food. He's sweating over there. Food finally won. He's all sweaty and shit.

He's like, I just want to get my name on the wall. I need some more water. I want a free t-shirt and my picture on the wall. Bro. I'm sweating his name and shit. Oh my God, dude. Bunch of cunts. I love how Kevin Spacey,

like, he can't do anything. Didn't he do like one thing? He read like a poem somewhere or something. Kevin Spacey, right? He did a YouTube video as Frank,

whatever his name is. Right. This is after the whole Have you seen the seven alternate ending on YouTube? No. So alternate ending is seven. You guys should all check it out.

It's fantastic. Is it funny or? All right, I'm going to give it away. Somebody sent it to me, said it's the alternate ending. So I watch it and they do the whole scene of, you know, what's in the box? What's in the box? He says he killed Brad Pitt's wife. And then they go, what's in the box?

And then Morgan Freeman looks up at him and then they just play the Kirby Enthusiasm music. and then Morgan Freeman looks up at him, and then they just play the Kirby Enthusiasm music. That shit is one of the funniest YouTube videos I've ever seen. Because I didn't know it was fake, so I'm like watching, excited. That shit hits you. God, that's fantastic.

You know what I was saying about walking into the all-black school gyms? Yes. Like, you wanted their validation so much. It's like, I've worked every day for this. Yeah, dude. St. Gabe's. St. Gabe's. We'd play St. Gabe's. They would bust our ass.

Yeah, like, you would lose by 30, but, like, if I had 15, 18, they'd be like, you know, like, if you suck, like, you get stopped in the handshake line. Like, you're told you're nice by the other coach. You know what I mean? They'd just be like, listen son, you can really play basketball. Everybody else gets one of these. Just slap it in the fucking hands.

But I used to love when the black people in the crowd would be like, ooh, alright. Because we'll always make more fucking noise because you never

I'll ride in them. In buckets. Alright. And there's always like the dad that says nice pass. Nice pass. Pass, good pass.

Because you know they're about to blow the layup. That's all his kid can do. You ever miss a wide open layup in a game? Of course. Of course, yeah. I've done that shit. That shit is, oh. Oh, boy.

Especially when it's a good fucking pass. Oh, my gosh. Nothing better than a great out. Oh. Did I hate that? I took a bad angle. Did I hate that? I took a bad angle. Did I hate that? My dad used to be my coach when I was like one year when I was very young.

Yeah. My dad is not, you know, like one of these dads that's like supportive. So if I miss that layup. It was a rat. Oh, you heard it. Or anytime there was like a, like they would foul somebody on purpose. He would put me at the line if I was having a bad game. Just cause he, it's like, you got to make up for it.

Miss all of them. I would miss all of them. Oh yeah. Yo, real shit though. Those technical free throws a lot harder than they look, bro. Nobody's at the fucking line. It's just you by yourself. And they're like, oh, clearly they put them on here because it's two easy points.

Yeah. Oh, he's the best shooter. There's no one on that side of the court. They're like, yeah, I don't you by yourself. And they're like, oh, clearly they put him on here because these are two easy points. Oh, he's the best shooter. There's no one on that side of the court that everyone stands by. It's like, miss? All right, cool. Thinking back to high school, it is nuts. It's nerve wracking. Like some of the games.

Dude, I remember we played this French school. Yeah, we played French school too. What, Lise? No, where'd you go to school? I went to Baruch College Campus High School so Baruch was on 23rd no no no

I grew up in Westchester oh you went to Baruch for high school yeah yeah yeah Baruch High School Baruch has a high school? it's a small public school yeah yeah

but we played this French school named Lise Francais it was like one of these like private schools uptown but they just taught the kids French like it wasn't like

they're all about the country or nothing but they just taught them French as well as English right they weren't like Sacre Bleu, outlet pass. They could have.

They could have done that. But we were going to play them. It wasn't even a league game. It literally meant nothing. It was a scrimmage. Yeah. And we all bought full-size American flags. Hold on.

To an away game. To an away game. To an away game. You thought they were going to France. We draped ourselves in the flags as we walked into the gym and in our layup lines we were singing the United States National Anthem at an away game, bro.

Dude, that'd be fucked up, right? That is fucked up. You'd be on Twitter right now apologizing if you did that shit. Is that culture we got fired today? Is this post 9-11 or pre 9-11? Because post 9-11, we didn't fuck with the French either. Very important question.

Post 9-11, you can wear a flag anywhere. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Remember freedom for us? Wear an American flag, dude. Yo. Anywhere.

After 9-11, my dad was driving on the highway. Maybe post. Pre. Maybe post. Maybe pre. I think it was our senior year that 9-11 happened. dad was driving on the highway. Pre. Pre. Maybe post, maybe pre. I think it was our senior year that 9-11 happened. Because if it happened pre, they'd be like, what are these guys doing? If it happened post, they'd be like, it's fucking patriotic.

Let's go. God bless them, my dear kids. God damn it. Take the shit out of them French kids. Yo, after 9-11, my dad was driving on the highway, and there was a bunch of cars, obviously, on the highway, and he saw an flag like on the side of the road and just stopped his car completely

he used to be a fireman stopped his car completely got out got the flag tons of traffic now get to his car no one said a word I was like

what the fuck just happened he should have just like stood up on one of his fucking things and just put it in the air everybody would have Fucking beeped the horn

And waved at him That's crazy Post 9-11 was such a weird Fucking time Like It's weird looking back at it now Dude you just cried for no reason We were just so fucking scared

About everything Cause I was That's crazy for y'all Yeah Dude I thought every day We were like alright This did a day Where there'd be troops

Coming down the street Low key though Mad parking Do you remember that Mad parking though Mad parking post 9-11 bro Like This day to day where there'd be troops coming down the street. Low key though, mad parking. Do you remember that? Mad parking though. Mad parking post 9-11, bro. Like,

nobody was in the city. I remember it was, your boy could pick you up and you're like, fuck it, we'll just park right here, we'll do whatever. And everybody in a good mood. That was another thing.

Parking time square. That is true. It was parking everywhere and like anybody, you could say hi to people, everybody was cool, everybody would take a little moment. Because everybody thought like, any day was like the next day was going to people everybody was cool everybody would take a little moment because everybody thought

like any day was like the next day was going to happen we all thought that was like the first of like many things about to go down on some Independence Day shit politicians got along for a solid week

they were together they were united yeah everyone loved George Bush for the last six years he was like oh damn he's got a good pitch he's got a horrible pitch

he walked out on the mound and was like we're gonna get him we're gonna blow him out of their holes now watch this fastball

my man Giuliani Giuliani was running with that fucking shit for years ESPN ESPN made a whole 30 for 30 about that pitch

I remember that but how crazy is that they're like alright how can we flip 9-11 is it some sports content how can we monetize this 30 for 30 about that pitch. I remember that. But how crazy is that? They're like, all right, how can we flip 9-11 into some sports content? How can we monetize this?

How can we take the greatest act of terror on America and make it into sports? George Bush, I didn't even know George Bush threw the pitch. Did you guys know?

Yeah. At the time, you knew? So he's the one. Really? It was right down the fucking pipe, though. It sure was good. Kobe and Ben and Bora fucking pipe, though. He's really good.

Kobe will be the more saving America pitch ever. Okay. What was a better strike? The plane hitting the tower. Or the pitch. I'll tell you this. Or the pitch. Wait, hold on.

I missed that. Oh, shit. I was like, what was a better pitch? The plane hitting the tower or the pitch? What was it? I mean, they had a couple tries. That's true. That's true. That's very true.

They did some test runs. I feel like a bald eagle might have trailed that baseball. It was so fucking American. He's like, all right, for America. Watch the thumbs up. You got his fucking bulletproof vest on. Hey, man, Derek Jeter, you're a good guy, man. All right.

Say hello. What's up? Mexican's up top. How you doing? I'm going to burn this one in there. All you rich whites down here, watch me throw this heater. From the mound, too. Yeah.

Bang! Hey, man. That's the movement on it. That was a two-seamer. He knew he killed that two-seamer. He walked up. He's like, you're welcome. Goddamn right.

Push the red button. Now let's go get him. Nuclear air strike right now. Oh, fuck. You know that dude voted for Bush with a fucking big white head like that. He's like, yes. His dream was to be the baseball commissioner. Yeah, he's the GM of the Rangers, right?

He owned it. He owned the Rangers. That was such a big thing for New York, though, at the time. Oh, for sure. I remember. I went to the game at 9-10. Yo, explain this to me, because I was in New York at the time. Yeah.

I have no recollection. All right, I remember this. Really? Yeah. On 9-10, I was at Yankee Stadium, 2001. The game got rained out. And the game got canceled. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was there. Roger Clemens was pitching. This is how fucking stupid I am, too. After the first plane hits, I call my dad and I go, yo, you think they'll still play tonight? Piece of shit. No, dude, I just saw it. I was watching it in school.

My boy Carlos, we found out a plane went into the tower because my boy Carlos Acevedo, shout out to Carlos, he came to school and we heard what happened, but we didn't know exactly what happened. They were like, there's a terror attack whatever like that and Carlos came in late right

he walks in late and we're like Carlos Carlos what's up man he goes yo some crazy shit went down we're like

what's up he goes a fucking plane went into the tower yo we're like how you know he goes yo I seen it

I seen that shit fly over and that shit went right into the tower. And we're like, and you still showed up at school? Why? It's the ultimate snow day, bro. That was some New York shit, though.

Yeah, you'll be good. That's some New York shit, though. I couldn't have any more latenesses, bro. I couldn't have any more latenesses. Damn, shit was crazy. Why don't we teach them? Yo, Ms. Johnson, I know what you're thinking. On lead. Damn, she was crazy. Why be a teacher named Miss Johnson? I know what you're thinking.

On 9-11, I was in fourth grade, and I was in a science class. We're in fourth grade. So kids are getting called out all the time. So after a while, we're like, we don't know what's going on because no one's telling us, so we think it's funny. And our teacher's at the phone, and people get getting called out. And then he goes to teach again. The phone rings.

And then he gets on the phone and then he hangs up and he's like, Ryan, you got to go downstairs. And we all start laughing and then he just goes, there's people dying out there. You guys are laughing in here. And we were like, oh shit.

Damn, I didn't know they were dying. Dude, fourth grade. He screamed that. I was like, oh fuck. Because you guys had no clue. It's like, even when the first plane hit, nobody knew what was going on.

I didn't even know the whole train was going to work. No, no. So think about contextually, right? It's like, there was no Twitter. There knew what was going on I didn't even know The whole train set to work No no So think about contextually right It's like There was no Twitter There were no cell phones There was no nothing

In order to see this shit They had to roll the TV Into the classroom Yeah That was the only way We could watch the news My friend's dad Walked home from the city that night

We did too Yeah And I had to take kids with me Because you could only Leave the school If you had a place to go That was accessible Right And certain places Just weren't accessible right you couldn't go downtown you couldn't go to

brooklyn because you couldn't get there where were you living at the time uh i was living in the east village in the east village yeah yeah yeah so and the school's up on 23rd so we just walked down bro we were calling i remember this we were calling like 411 or like 3 or whatever the it was and we were like yo we're gonna go help where do we go right and then the lady was like what the fuck is wrong with you like what the hell shut the fuck up are you a Navy SEAL

like what are you gonna do right now is this Jason Bourne we got Carlos we're good don't worry about it Carlos saw everything he saw everything

he knows what to do he was there from the jump it was crazy man it was crazy the fucking plane hit the tower it was was crazy, man. It was crazy. The fucking plane hit the tower. It was so crazy. I can't no be no lay.

I can't no be no lay. I can't no be no lay. But the thing was, my cousin died in the second tower. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. No, no, no. Wait a minute. Bring me in the mood, yo. No, no, no.

Why'd you tell us that? No, no, no. No, but I want to. Yeah, son. He was like, oh, my, what's your problem? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I No, but I wanted to. He was like, come on, what's your problem? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not making this up.

It's too much good content. Yo, Jesus, bro. Why did they run out after the first one hit? So what happened was. That's a reasonable question. That's true. If Six wanted to build his, I'm going home. I'll tell you what happened.

It wouldn't let you evacuate. It wouldn't let you leave. What? So when they got down to the bottom floor, they said, we got it under control. Go back up. You're kidding me. No. No way.

And she was on the 82nd floor. That shit hit the 86th or 85th floor. And her phone calls, one of the most famous ones, are calling from the tower. Oh my God. And when it hit, it just got mad hot in there and she like passed out from like smoke inhalation like before it like collapsed or whatever right but when they got to the bottom they sent them all back up yeah can you imagine going back up 85 floors to die i'd be like i'm not criminal again you know how fucking far that is that's

fucking crazy the craziest thing was remember when they put out like the the fireman documentary like three days after and all you hear is skidosh like fucking bombs going The craziest thing was, remember when they put out the Fireman documentary three days after? And all you hear is, Skidosh! Like fucking bombs going off. And it was people fucking jumping. Yeah. So my brother went to school a few blocks away. He goes to make a phone call to my mom and my dad to say that he's okay.

And as he's making the phone call, the pay phone, wherever the fuck they're calling from in the school, has a window where he can see the towers. And he sees people jumping out the fucking tower and hit the fucking... I don't think I could ever get over seeing something like that. No, no, no. Here's the craziest thing about jumping out. They didn't jump out because they...

Obviously, they want to or whatever. They jumped out because it was so hot. Yeah. Inside, there was like... Do I burn inside or go to the place that's not? I'm jumping too, though. Fuck that. Hell yes. I'm jumping too though fuck that hells yes

I'm not burning to a fucking crisp in there but no the thing I don't know if I got the balls for it to be honest I probably just like sprint through the flames

I can't imagine I don't think that heat is anything I do some fire shit though like a fucking yeah I mean that's a heat you've never felt the heat can be so bad

it's probably some shit where you're not even thinking about it you're like fuck I gotta get out of here why would you just not go like if you already went downstairs and they're like now go back go back up, you wouldn't just be

like, I'm going to take my lunch or something like that? You're not really there. I don't give a fuck who's down there. It's like, dude, there's a hole in the building. A plane. I'm not going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a hole in the building.

No, that's crazy. Dude, if there's like a leak in an aisle in Whole Foods, I'm leaving. I don't even want to fucking be there. If I came into this studio right now and there was a hole over here, I'd be like, yeah, maybe we should tape tomorrow. Let me try to say this. Maybe this justifies something. If one building got hit, first of all, none of us knew a second tower was getting hit.

None of us. But there's probably a bunch of debris and shit coming down from that tower, so maybe they're thinking. They didn't want a whole bunch of people on the street getting hit by shit. That's smart. They don't know a second plane is getting hit. They're not the scumbags. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the thing.

You were asking the lead up to it. Then we had a service for it, but they didn't find the remains, which always was kind of weird to me. I was like, we're just all chilling in a room. But then it was like, after that, the Yankees came back, and Ray Charles sang like... America the Beautiful. America the Beautiful, and everybody in the country cried.

How would he know America's beautiful? How the fuck would he know? His spirit. He's a millionaire blonde man. There you go. That's fucking beautiful. A black millionaire blonde man. A black millionaire blind man. A black millionaire blind man

would just grab a bitch who's rich and be like, yeah, I'm a sinner. If anybody knows America's beautiful, it's that motherfucker. That's the way black people can find America beautiful. They gotta be blind. They just gotta have no clue what's happening,

no clue of the racism going on. They haven't seen any video of a black guy getting shot by the cops. Dude, Ray Charles had a wild host. Black people, just close your eyes a little guy getting shot by the cops. Dude, there was no racism after 9-1-1 for four days. Black people, just close your eyes a little more. You'll enjoy it. You know what I mean? But yeah, go on.

Then the Yankees went on this run. I remember that. They were beating everybody. It was Mr. November, right? Yeah, Mr. November. They had that Japanese relief pitcher, Byung-Yong Kim, that was definitely going to kill himself if he lost that World Series. So they came up with-

Byung-Yong Kim used to play for the Dodgers, right? Yeah. Or the Tampa- Diamondbacks. The Diamondbacks. He played for the Diamondbacks. But he might have played for the Dodgers later in his career. He was like this lights out closer and then gave up.

I remember that. And then there was- Scott Brocious hit the home run. Jeter hit the home run and he literally looked like he wanted to kill himself and then we lost

in game seven when Gonzo hit that little fucking bloop single. I was at the game where Jeter hit the winning home run.

I was there when Brocious did it. Do you remember the fucking stadium was moving. Scott Brocious. When was the game when Jeter hit it? It was remember? The fucking stadium was moving. Scott Brocious. Yeah. When was the game when Jeter hit it?

It was... It had to be like nine days later. It was the game when Soriano hit a home run to tie it. Yeah. And then Jeter came up

in like the 10th inning and they were like, it struck midnight. We have November baseball. And then you just opposite field Jeter of course at the home run

and then the fucking place went fucking apeshit and then we lost. Yeah. And then you're just opposite field, Jeter. Of course. At the home run. And then the fucking place went fucking ape shit, and then we lost. Yeah. That was the one time the entire world was rooting for the Yankees. And y'all lost. That was it. That was it. That was the one time. That's the one time people rooted for y'all.

We fucking lost in seven games. God damn it. I'll tell you, man. That's what's crazy, though. That's why you're saying the ESPN 30 for 30 thing. Sports can be healing in like in certain situations oh it's the best

distraction you know what I mean it's like it's weird than like when sports like makes you cry yeah it's the only thing I cry at

that's realistically it's the only thing I cry at like if there's a dude that like comes back like when Brett Favre threw all those touchdowns after his dad

died my dad was crying like like one of his children died he's like this is like one of the most beautiful things I was like dad you had his children died. He's like, this is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

I was like, Dad, you had five children. I feel like that happens all the time, too. No, sports gets me. I can't watch SportsCenter on Sunday

because they always have those fucking human interest pieces. I hate that shit. When they got Tom Rinaldi talking over it. It's like my wife had a brain tumor

like three times. I'm starting to be like, if anyone has a bad tragedy, I'm starting. Hold on. He's going off. Stafford's wife had a brain tumor like three times i'm starting i'm starting hold on he's going off wife had a brain yeah she had surgery yeah he threw like four touchdowns their tragedy is your fantasy you're like yo i'm gonna get a win this week i'm just saying matthew barry's on tv like well you know uh his brother his brother came out of surgery last time I cried during a sport was when Isaiah Thomas

dropped like 50 after his sister had died and he was like fucking crying on the bench crying on the bench oh that fucked me

oh dude and they still fucking lost but holy shit yo sports are sad yeah fuck sports are sad

cause like after all that it's just like yeah your sister's still not here What's his name The one that The one that got me

Was Marky's Goodwin When he caught that touchdown Oh right And he's like Baby had just died Or something And then he's in the end zone And he's like

Cradling the football As a baby and shit Like oh I was just like I think I stopped Talking about Fresh Rock Island Yeah

Or that one Where Ray Rice Knocked his wife out And he Y'all remember that one? Had them all talking about fantasy team. I had them all talking about fantasy team. I was so numb to them for a couple weeks.

I'm like, maybe he'll sink through it. And then the video came out. I was like, oh, yeah, that's right. He was feeling unstoppable, bro, for real. Four minutes, dude. I played fast. You know how crazy CTE is? That bitch is fine.

NFL players all got CTE. Son, who do you think got more CTE, Matt Stafford or his wife? Probably. Whose brain is more damaged? Yeah, real talk. Okay. Who's going to hang out with you guys?

This is a tame day, Danny. This is a tame episode. It's tame? We talked about 9-11. And he even tells his cousin to die until halfway through the set. He's stung. I look at his stomach.

He's stung like about 20 minutes of 9-11 jokes. Son, you wanna do an act house out this bitch? Yeah, dude. You gotta put that fucking, what's that song? What?

Hello darkness my old friend He's like 9-11 I'm just like Cousin's dead by the way Never found her No remains I thought that was weird It affected me it still does What's up?

You're right We glossed all that shit I was like yeah we're gonna have like a barrel for no one yeah man we all had around a picture yeah we did issues my way but still be out there bro she was mad I think I'm tupac or in Cuba got her voice was one

of the most famous boys I was in all the time. Yeah, they put it in the beginning of Zero Dark Thirty. What was the voicemail? What? It was the beginning of Zero Dark Thirty. Holy shit. What was her voicemail?

Did they have authorization for that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I broke off. They paid for it. I broke off. I broke off shit. I had no 9-11 money.

No, but... You the real victim. He's the real... I'm gonna write the book like I had a cousin once. I have no 9-11 money. Just be on the back like this. Oh, my God. What was her voicemail?

So her voicemail was like... Suck on some titties. Yeah, yeah. She was like, tell Danny to start singing about titties. Tell him. Yeah, yeah. She was like, tell Danny to start singing about titties. Tell him. They had one dying wish. Swing away. Swing away.

Swing away. What if he's swinging? I got a proof. I got a proof. Yeah, that was a... Oh, swing away. What a fucking reference. Yo, that's a deep cut, yo.

Yo, what a dumb movie, Robert. What's a deep cut? Water? Come on. Hey, don't talk about my dog M. Night like that, son. Yo, your dog M. Night is the biggest waste of goddamn time. Every movie is, this is the plot line of every one of his movies. Don't say, yo, he's up on Manoj, my guy.

What's it say? It's Manoj, dog. What is Manoj? That's his name, bro. That's what the M is for. Oh, I thought... Oh. I thought you were saying

the N word in Indian, dog. I really thought that's what you call black people, Manoj. I'm not gonna laugh because it's the same thing. I thought it was my guy like in Hindi for a second. That's what I thought.

I was like, yeah, it's Manoj right there. Oh, crazy awkward moment at the show in Sacramento. We had this black albino In the front row And I made him say the n-word And it was uncomfortable

Because like I made him say the n-word But like I wonder why Son But Cause he's black But he's really not

No it's cause you made him say it yo No it's cause he's white as fuck Even though he's black How'd you approach him When you were like say it I was like I was like Yeah

Pretty much like that I was like say the N-word. And he was Nigerian. So he just looks like a white guy making fun of a Nigerian. Because he's just like, I will not say the N-word. But he's white as fuck. And his face. And he's got a blonde beard.

You walked out on that stage, you're like, Instagram about to be crazy right now. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, this is going to be a clip. Taking bets in the grade room. He's like, I bet you I get that albino in the front row to say the N word. He's got five on it. His condition is your virus. That's your virus.

Yeah, exactly. Okay, so wait. What were we just saying? No, there was something. Oh, M. Night Shyamalan. M. Night the God. Yeah, the premise of every movie is like, hey, the least likely outcome is definitely not the outcome.

Just kidding. it is. That sounds like a great movie. That's every single movie, right? They're not really in the forest. They're not really in the... Yeah, they are. You ever watch The Sixth Sense now? You're like, how the fuck did I not see this?

I'm going to hate you. Nate Borgazzi has a fucking brilliant joke about The Sixth Sense. Oh, it's so good. Dude, he goes... It's so good. He goes, the whole movie, the wife is not talking to him. The whole movie. Yeah.

It was easier for us to believe that his wife was giving him silent treatment for two years than he was actually dead. They're at a romantic dinner. They're at a romantic dinner. He's talking to her. He's like, you know, it's just a lot of this. She's just like. We all watched that movie like no i could see this

we've all been there before bro that's when i knew m night had an indian wife i said that's my man in it my man in the trenches best work bro best work but then i watch i watch it again and he throws a rock through a window as a ghost.

Yeah, man, ghosts do that. I know, but that's Patrick Swayze ghost. Patrick Swayze had to learn how to push that can, remember? Yeah, yeah, he probably learned. I didn't see any ghost training montage in the movie, though. That's what I'm trying to say. There's a flaw in the movie you're saying. He shouldn't have been able to throw the rock as a ghost.

There's a plot hole. Yeah, I didn't know ghosts could pick up things and throw them. That's the only thing. I know in the movie you're saying. Yeah. He shouldn't have been able to throw the rock as a ghost. There's a plot hole. Yeah, I didn't know ghosts could pick up things and throw them. That's the only thing. I know Patrick Swayze could do it. Yeah, man. You never watched Ghost Hunters? Yo, did y'all know that Dirty Dancing was about an abortion? No.

What? Very clearly in the movie. I found that out literally last week. Did you ever see it? Really? I saw the movie Mad. My parents had a dance school growing up. I saw that movie a hundred times.

I thought it was about salsa and the Poconos. I had no fucking clue that it was about an abortion. It's Matt White. Somebody tell me, is Sophie's Choice about an abortion

or the Holocaust? I've been trying to figure this out for years. What about the Holocaust? Sophie's Choice, apparently it's about the Holocaust. Is it?

Sounds like a big abortion movie. What was her choice? Sophie's Choice, oh no, it was kind of lit. So, it's a great idea. So she got a, what's the bitch's name?

Meryl Streep? Who knows? I don't know. One of them white bitches. One of them. Meryl Streep or Glenn Close or one of them, right? She got- That's the same bitch to me.

They're all the same. Real talk, right? It's all the same. Meryl Streep. Glenn Close, Meryl Streep, and then then the other one they're the same lady to me anyway so she had twins and she had to choose one

the Nazis were like pick one oh fuck really did she do it you shouldn't pick one something like that you pick one

so wait the Italian one did she pick well she made the choice she picked the blonde hair blue eyed one well they were twins yeah I think

yo but that's the thing if you have identical twins, that's the easiest choice. Like, I feel like there's a way harder choice to make if they're totally unique

and different. Yeah. But if they're the same twins, you flip a coin. Nah, there's always an evil twin too. But at that age, you don't know,

they were kids. How old were they? I don't know. I would throw a knife down and let them fight it out. Who's one's harder to breastfeed? You would just hunger games it? Yeah, I would let them fight it out. Bill one's harder to breastfeed. You would just Hunger Games it? Yeah, I would let them fight it out.

I'll do your job for you. Here's this knife. Whoever wins comes with me. Oh, my God. That's the whole movie? Actually, no. The movie's not really about that at all. It's just what drives it.

That's why this Polish chick is living in Long Island. What's that sad Holocaust movie? I can't remember now. All of them? Is there a happy one? Yes, yes, yes. What's the what's that sad Holocaust movie? I can't remember now. All of them? Is there a happy one? Yes, yes, yes. What's the Holocaust comedy that you would watch?

Jacob the Liar with like Robin Williams. What the fuck is that? It's a movie about the Holocaust. And it's funny? It's kind of funny until everyone dies.

What was that Italian movie with like Oh, A Beautiful Mind Beautiful Mind Beautiful Life or whatever. Beautiful Life, yeah. That movie is sad as shit.

He's with his kid or some shit. Antonio Benigni or whatever his name is. I'm thinking of the Christmas movie. The Christmas movie? It's an Italian movie. National Lampoon's Holocaust movie. Jacob the Liar was a movie about him being in one of the ghettos of the Holocaust.

National Lampoon's Mrs. Auschwitz. Chevy Chase on the cover what is this what is that shit the vacation National Hamphoon's horrible train trip oh fuck

the worst thing too is like there it is oh my god oh that's Jakob you know you're in the holocaust if you got one of

those hats on son if Jacob spelled with a K Jacob spelled with a K in a comedy, I'll tell you that shit right now. You just know off rip.

Yeah, probably not. It's Rob Williams. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, though, that shit is sad. It's a 1999 American War comedy drama. Wow. Boom.

I guess everything can be funny. The weirdest thing about the Holocaust, too, besides obviously them killing everyone, but like, they would... That'd be a thing when the people

would come and check up on them they would give them like crayons and shit and be like look they're fine like everything's good

wait what you know they would do that like when hey what's going on here in these concentration camps like oh they're fine

they want to be here they used to go check on like the concentration camps they would have them like act like everything was okay you can't look at the fact

that they're fucking 20 pounds no but they don't yeah but you know they're people with jobs they're doing a half ass job no no no to make them look like it would look like

they were like yeah we're just holding them here for now like while our country is at war I love crayons being the thing dude

let them draw yeah I can't I can't I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. It's too much. People think you're Jewish all the time, right? Yeah.

No, no, no. I'm not saying I can't for that reason. I just have a horrible Holocaust joke that is only for the Patreon. Yeah. It's only for the Patreon. It needs a paywall. I thought Andrew was Jewish for like three years of my life. Most people assume I'm Jewish.

Sucks. Last name's Jewish, but I'm, I guess, German. Yeah. Sorry, guys. Total upset. I'll see you later then. Oopsies. Seems like something's got to get straightened out before any conversation.

We've covered everything. That must be a question. Wasn't there a tsunami once? Boom, let's get into natural disasters, too. Let's talk about that. I don't know I'm really going for it That must be a natural Wasn't there a tsunami once? Yeah Boom Let's get into Natural disasters too Let's talk about that Tsunamis

That's the cause Terrorism Patrice has a great Tsunami joke Which one is it? Patrice he's like He talks about It kind of ties into

This thing he talked about later Where like the news Kind of tells you What to care about And he's like Cause I saw that tsunami shit And I was like It looked like

I could have lived Through that Like Dog When he pulls his pants up a little he just pulls his pants up and he goes ooh that's a high one that's a high one he makes his pants capris he just pulls them up

I love that you guys like do other people's jokes like you guys watch Rogan at all he'll just be like you just did it right so like Joe sometimes if you do a bit he'll be like well don't do it if you don't know it exactly. He's like, you know, it's somebody else's work. That's a good impression. He's like, no, but you know.

By the way, do you do DMT? Hey, Jamie, look that up, Jamie. You have the mouth close to the mic and everything. Yeah, but you know, you suffer with depression. I just think if you exercise and eat more red meat, it'll be all right. Jamie, pull that up. Big elk guy. And then when he just has a mic up, he's just like...

Yeah, okay. Don't ever try to say other people's material on Joe Rogan. It will not go well I think we've done it I think we referenced a few jokes I think it's just like that's a purist thing

it's like I don't want to see it fucked up if you're not going to do a joke for justice don't do it at all yeah I'd be surprised maybe if it's non-comics

they go do it and then they just make it look stupid but like if you're a comic usually you could deliver yeah it's homage but that's it that's another thing

it's like some of these jokes people need to know man yeah you could deliver Yeah it's homage But that's it That's another thing It's like Some of these jokes People need to know man Yeah You know like Especially Patrice The guy who's dead And like all these people

Who are comedy fans Will never probably know who he is He was never famous enough to But he's enough He's enough comedy gold Legends amongst like Amongst the casuals I love Patrice

Have you seen the What Caroline said he did For deaf people What You've never seen this No I'll send it to you Please do I love Patrice Lennon. Have you seen what Caroline said he did for deaf people? What? You've never seen this? No. I'll send it to you.

Please do. Yeah, so they did like, literally they had like a screen for like words and stuff. He fucking kills. This is one of those moments where I'm not going to do any because I don't want to get Joe Rogan. Don't fucking laugh. Yeah. Just. I was waiting for you to say that I was like

I know he's gonna do that I played football When I played football We played New York School for the Deaf in football Yeah And you know how they would hike the ball? Someone on the sideline would hit a drum Oh shit

And they would feel the vibration What? What are they? Fucking Deadpool? Kind of, yeah How do you feel a drum from the sidelines? Daredevil, yo. High intercensus.

It's not just one drum. It's like they hit a punch. I mean, it's like we were never on sides. Same color, no hard counts or anything. I was about to say, you could fucking, I mean, you could Troy Palomaro that shit. Once you hit a drum. I'm coming. You're just looking at the fucking dude with the drum

As soon as he comes up You're like Run It was a total A whole deaf team The whole team was deaf? Yeah No no no wait

What was the final score? Oh we fucking smoked Yeah I mean I wanted to know how good you guys were Nah we smoked God damn Oh yo They don't.

It was one play. Dude, they had like three plays. They ran like jet sweep, waggle, and like a halfback toss. We knew we were going to win by 75 points. You know what I'm saying? You couldn't really talk shit to them. Was there anybody good? Well, clearly.

Just like my dick. Hey, guys. We got some shows coming up man Thank you guys so much for coming out in Sacramento That Chico show is an abomination We'll talk about that on another Podcast but Thank y'all so much

Next week 14th Wall Street Theater Norwalk Connecticut Then the 16th Wilbur Theater Boston First show sold out second show got a few tickets left the 22nd of November

New York Town Hall both shows sold out get that shit very excited about that thank y'all so much for that man this has been very cool this is not brought to you by the New York Comedy Festival

because they won't book me so this is the New York Comedy Festival because they won't book me. So this is, the New York Comedy Festival does not present this. Okay? I just want that to be very clear. And then more shows added, man. We just added New Orleans and Edmonton. Edmonton, Canada, go get that.

That's quick. That's in December. Go to theandrewschultz.com for all tickets, et cetera. Do not buy the tickets on these third-party sites. They're charging crazy prices. My tickets are very reasonably priced because I want you all to come out, but I've been talking to people and find out they're spending $200 for a fucking ticket to the show, which is absurd.

Don't even Google my name and then the city because it will take you to a third-party site. Go to the links on my website, theandrewschultz.com. You cannot trust anything else besides that and that will get you everything you need Akash this weekend

Thursday through Saturday I'm at the American Comedy Company in San Diego November 10th that's this Sunday I am in Tempe, Arizona at the Improv

come through and check that out and we got the Mumbai show that we are lining up that's the last show of the year the 19th and 20th of December at Habitat Comedy Club.

Akash.Singh.com for more dates and tickets. This Friday night, Ducey Palooza hits Los Angeles. Dre Sinatra, DJ Artistic, Night Train, DJ Benjamin Walker, Spent Select, and Gold Link will be in the building. That's this Friday, November 8, 2019. Also get your tickets for Ducey Palooza at the Barclays Center, December 13, 2019. We'll be rolling out the lineup for that immediately, or very soon. And please subscribe to Big Apple Buckets on the New York Post. I got Chris Childs on the show this week.

We talk about him giving Kobe the two-piece, which is our logo. Well, it used to be our logo. And some other shit. So, thank you for checking out the podcast. It's which is our logo. Well, it used to be our logo. And some other shit. So thank you for checking out the podcast. It's doing really good numbers. There's Knicks fans, and I know the season sucks, but it's been good. But thank you for support.

All right, let's get back to the show. Guys, this piece of shit studio that we are at, but not for long. Not for long. Not for long. This piece of shit studio that we are at, but not for long. Not for long. Not for long. This piece of shit studio, the board broke down or something.

I'm not exactly sure what happened. But, so I don't even know where we left off. Probably somewhere between 9-11 and the Holocaust.

We weren't on a good path, so to speak. We probably needed a reset. You know what? God stepped in. Yeah, he stopped at the bar. God stepped in.

He was like, enough of this. Press the red button. Right? Well, which God, though? That's what started all this. Certain gods could be like, I like the way this is going. They could look at us paying homage in a weird way, which we were not.

You know what, they're right. I thought that was you were asking me which Hindu God, and I was like, who would be the God of podcasts? You got a podcast. I got a decision to make. podcast. You've got a podcast. I've got a decision to make. Anyway, so I just got to let you guys know that this podcast is brought to you by Manscaped,

the number one below the belt grooming company. Love Manscaped. Now, here's the thing with Manscaped. I don't know if I've shared this with you on this podcast before, but if I'm ever depressed, before but if I'm ever depressed the first thing I do is I shave my pubes and in a weird way it's kind of like cutting like you know when like girls cut right because they need a sense of control they need to like feel something oh oh that oh that cutting oh yeah what type of did you get I don't know I was assuming it was hair cutting No they cut their arms and shit like that You know all about cutting

Exactly So it's like for whatever reason I get a sense of control I feel confident I feel empowered When I shave my balls And I've been feeling this my whole life Every once in a while

it gets a little scrappy down there and it's a little bit like I'm out there in the wilderness. I'm trying to survive. It's a little survivor. It's a little bit too survivor. A woodsman. I'm a woodsman. And if I start to feel a little down,

I shave it up and telling you. It's you taking back control. I'm taking back control. I'm bringing my sexy back. I confident if i'm now you know i got a girl now so i let that shit go she gotta deal with that she loves me but when i was single it was like i have to be prepared for this situation that could go down tonight and it really i'm telling you guys if you're struggling with confidence, shave your balls. Step one. You fill those balls full of cum and then you shave them really nice.

You shave them nice. You make them beautiful. If there's anything flagrant to does, it enhances your dick game. It really makes your cock perfect. If you were a girl listening to this right now and your boyfriend's balls and cock look disgusting, and sometimes hair grows on the shaft of the cock, even at the base of it a little bit like a moss. And if it grows at the base of it like a moss, you take that down.

Okay? There are several different trimmers. There are several different shaving options. We don't even need to go into that because you know it's already taken care of. My point is you go to Manscaped. You go to Manscaped. You use our promo code. It's Manscaped.com. Use our promo code FLAGRANT2.

FLAGRANT2. That's 20% off with free shipping. Manscaped.com. Go make your body. No, make your mind right. You make your mind right by shaving up your body right. Feel good. Feel beautiful.

Let's get back to the combo. That was beautiful. I want us to feel good. Good for you. This is the male enhancement podcast. We really are. If there's anything flagrant to us, yeah, male efficiency has been our motto. I feel happy for you right now. Thanks, bro.

Throughout this entire podcast. It's taken me a while. I've been thinking about lasering. I would love to laser my nuts. My curiosity about lasering is will it affect my sperm? I don't want my cum to get fucked up and then I have like some downsy kids with my girl because I shot

lasers into my balls. Well, you got full sack. Say again? Well, now I'm just going to have some big downsy kid. Oh, there you go. So it's a little bit, that's my concern and I've spoken to like estheticians about it and they've told me no. They're like, nothing will happen to it. Bro, how do they know?

How the fuck do they know? It's a female esthetician. What does she know about sperm? Good point. I mean, she should know a little bit. A little bit. No, it's not. She should know at least 50%. Isn't that crazy?

You got to go to college to rip hair out of someone's pussy? Yeah. I would like that hair out of someone's pussy Yeah I would like that You should go to school I don't want some fucking run of the mill Dude I can get the job done if you like really needed me to do it I could do it

If you were a girl would you wax your own puss? No You let somebody else wax your puss I might wax my own puss Take No. You let somebody else wax your puss? I don't wax my own puss. Why? Take back power. I do like the top, but I wouldn't get all...

No, for the lips, you can't do it because... All the signs and none of that. You could rip the lips, also the butthole, the taint area.

That's easy, though. You could wax an asshole drunk. No, you can't. Your own asshole? No, no, no. Oh, someone else's asshole. Have you ever had it done? You can whack a waxed asshole drunk. No, you can't. Your own asshole? Not mine. No, no, no. Oh, someone else's asshole. Have you ever had it done? If I could put one cheek on a wall and open this one, I could get in there and I could

do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would wax myself just for the rush. For the rush? Yeah, for the rush. Yeah, it's a good... I've had it done. You've had your butthole waxed?

You waxed that fucking anus? I've had my butthole waxed. And ited that fucking anus? I've had my butthole waxed. And it was... What? You didn't know this? No. I did it for a TV role. Not for my butt, but...

Oh, that's right. Wait, what? I had to do it for a TV role. That's right. I was running around naked for this pilot. And some pilot called Bronx Warrants where I played a crackhead. I played crackheads several times in my life. For some reason, anytime you're on TV acting,

your butthole somehow gets involved. A lot of nudity. A lot of nudity with you. A lot of male nudity. Wait, why? You felt like, yo, I need a wax. No, the director did.

Gay dude, by the way. He Me Too'd me too. Really? Wow. Was he in the room? Put him on blast. What's his name? I forget his name,

but I asked him. Speak your truth, Andrew. And he goes, I go, hey man, I know we're going to shoot this scene tomorrow. I just want to let you guys know I got like a really hairy ass. And like, I just want you to be aware of what we're all getting into. You me too'd yourself, dog.

Son. So I showed it to him and he's looking at my ass. And then he kind of like takes his hand and puts it in one of my cheeks and kind of like separates my cheek a little bit. Wow. This is vile. Yeah. And I was just like, this is kind of like odd my cheek a little bit. Wow. Wow. That's vile. Yeah. And I was just like, it's kind of like odd,

you know, and then he was like, yeah, you should probably get a wax. You know, to be fair, you gave him

an outlet pass. You were like, hey man, I just want to let you know we should probably do something about it. He was like, yeah dude,

I'm running. How do you get win no Oscar? You don't even get picked up so you bitches are crying about nothing. You know what I mean? Y'all actually got to be on TV with your Me Too's. You know what I mean?

Y'all actually got movie roles and shit. I didn't even get a credit on it. You got three centimeters from getting fingered by this guy. God damn. Think about the people that got caught with the Me Too movement, right? Right. And the people that were on the cusp. Now, now we're, like, kind of post-Me Too. Yeah.

They were probably just like, oh, thank God. They got away with it. Yeah, they got away with it. No, I think the music industry is still kind of, they kind of skated by this whole thing. Yeah, but it's, like, kind of in their music. That's what I'm saying. I mean, not even in music. All music's about, like, love and fucking.

Like, come on, son. You mean to tell me, like, these fucking record label guys... What's her name? Kesha. Kesha. Alright. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She did. Well, she didn't get me. Did she say, like, MC Hammer did something? No, the guy... Was the name... She was the one... Wait, hold on. I think we're fucking the verb about Uncle Luke. Uncle Luke.

Dr. Luke. Dr. Luke. Dr. Luke. Not Uncle Luke. That's right. Uncle Luke is a hero of mine. Dr. Luke is a white Luke. Not Uncle Luke. That's right. Uncle Luke is a hero of mine. Dr. Luke is a white guy who's a producer. Both of them probably have had some me too. So what do you think about it? Uncle Luke. Definitely had some me too.

Uncle Luke, you knew what you were getting into though. Ain't it funny that the white guy's a doctor and the black guy just some uncle? Some fucking dude hanging out. Both will finger you unconscious Oh nah Russell Simmons He got me too Oh yeah Russell's out of here bro

Russell Simmons is out of here I knew that motherfucker was They got Lispy Ruspel Yeah I never trusted him As soon as he Never trusted him No never

As soon as he Tried to give us a fucking credit card I was like You're a vulture dog You're a fucking vulture a rush card yeah uncle

ain't that just like an uncle to fuck you and then not do anything to help you later tell us about it this is the point of the show we don't start sharing

this shit we all got YouTube stories traumatic childhood experiences this one time at summer camp you did yours

motherfucker yeah we know about your cousin wait what what Childhood experiences This one time At summer camp You did yours Motherfucker Yeah yeah We know About your cousin Wait what What You did his Childhood stories

Oh I thought He got molested as well No no I was like I repressed him I feel the same It was your cousin Or your aunt

My cousin My cousin It was your cousin Okay Around the same age as you Nah she was older Way older Yeah like 15 years older

So she could've molested you Yeah she could've If she wanted to as you nah she was older way older yeah like 15 years older so she could have molested you yeah she could have if she wanted to did you think she did I mean do you think you were cute enough to be molested is the question

ever in my life molested yeah I had a vice principal go to jail for like I've told you this story yeah you might want to tell it quick

because as soon as you said as soon as you said his fucking mind woke up like a winter soldier I had a vice principal at my high school who soon as you said his fucking mind over like a Winter Soldier- I had a vice principal at my high school who was like, you know, like there's always like somebody that works at a high school that's like, I want to work with like the troubled kids.

You know what I mean? Like take them under my wing. Yeah. And you know, like he would take like kids under his wing. Wing being dick. Yeah. And I remember like, thankfully I had two older brothers. Yeah.

So I was like a little more street smart to smart to when somebody was trying to fuck this ass. You know what I'm saying? So it was little boys. Yeah, dude, I was in high school. And he would be like, yeah, you know. High school, you're fucking old enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, if you're getting pounded in high school, you have to be somewhat consensual in that situation.

100%, I believe you. But there's also some other kids that you take care of. You think you could be manipulated out of your butt at 16? Hell yeah, dude. He totally tricked me. I had no clue what I was doing. You're trying to finger girls every fucking night. There was a male comic who tried to say at 14 some

rabies shit happened. And Andrew, this is well before any, this is like 10 years ago, and Andrew was just not, he was like, you're 14. You can't fucking fight. He said, I will snuff my high school teaser. My vice principal? Yeah, yeah. well before any this is like 10 years ago and Andrew was just not he was like you're 14 you can't fucking fight he's like I said I will snuff my high school teacher my vice principal

yeah yeah so what happened was is that he was at he was at the principal yeah you're not even the principal in charge you don't even got authority

you gonna rape me with vice yeah you gonna rape me with vice you know what I mean honestly you don't need real talk yeah kind of the reason why

I could see how R. Kelly got away With raping all those people Yeah Why Cause he's like Really fucking charismatic Like we didn't think

He was raping Like we saw him on tape And we were just like That's the difference though He's also like a famous person And that's like He's got power and shit I don't think that has

An age limit That's what I'm saying Like he's a vice principal Like that doesn't make Any fucking sense Like you just say no He wasn't my type anyway But what I'm saying is like

He would be very like hey like listen I'll help you with like your grades and like help you get back on the basketball team help you get all this stuff if you no no no that's the if never came that was later you know who else didn't come me and him so

but he used to like call me at night yeah used to like send me like birthday cards and then he left our school yeah and him. But he used to call me at night. Yeah. Used to send me birthday cards. And then he left our school. Yeah. And him leaving, there was four of us that were the troubled kids. Yeah. And we all were drinking the night he left and went somewhere else. We were like, yo, let me ask you a question.

You think he's gay? And then all of us were like, dude. Like, for years I've thought this. I just thought I was being like over. And then he went to another school, got caught with a kid in his car. Doing what? Sucking that thing? Well, he had a kid in his car.

Well, he had a kid in the car. I don't think there's much to prove there. Sucking that thing. He had a kid in the car who was a troubled kid. Sir, get out of the car. Stop sucking that thing. Take the thing out of your mouth, sir. You got your next buying song, buddy.

Suck it out of your mouth and place it on the ground. Suck it out of that thing. Take three steps back from the thing. Yo. You got to say it like an old black woman. Suck on that thing. You suck on that thing in there. Get out of there.

Get out of there. Put the thing down. Sit down. Yo, let me ask you a question. Put the keys on the dashboard. Let me ask you a question. You played high school football and basketball and teachers were trying to fuck you.

Yeah, I was the man. What happened? You fell off, son. You fell off hard, Danny. We need a high school Danny picture, bro. People talk about they peaked in high school. That's a real peak, though. That's a real peak, though.

You peaked in high school, dude. I did. Not financially, though, but everything else, I'll agree. Nobody wants to fuck me anymore. You were popping. You were popping. 18 a game, getting fingered by your dean. Yeah.

That's why I'm getting respect from the black kids when you lost. The real black kids love me. Yo, y'all lost good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what happens. Okay, I love how we've been interrupting this molestation story. What psychopaths are comedians? Nobody molested me that I know of.

Is it you're trying to tell a story about how you were molested, and we keep going, oh, joke opportunity. Joke opportunity. Hold on. S it you're trying to tell a story about how you were molested, and we keep going, oh, joke opportunity. Joke opportunity. Hold that thought. I said suck his thang. So he climbed on top of me. He said, ah, motherfucker said climb. No, but yeah, he ended up getting caught.

Was Alex dead? Oh, no. No, you good, bro? Oh, my God. He got caught with like 400 text messages That he sent to this kid All sexually charged I never got my hands on them

I tried hard to get them Oh the texts? That's probably what he said about you Couldn't get them They were sexually charged Like he wanted to suck this little boy's thang So when I found out I found out on the news

So he said in text he wanted to suck a thang Yeah he wanted to suck a thang And be with this thang. So when I found out, I found out on the news. So he said in text that he wanted to suck a thang? Yeah, he wanted to suck a thang and be with this thang and do stuff with it. How old was that thang? He was like 13. 13? Yeah, he was like... Oh, hey, is that even a developed thang necessarily? That's a thing. That might be a little boy thang. Thang is a drop.

Thangs is dropped around that age, though. Thangs might have dropped, man. Not with everybody. You don't even need to manscape that little thang. You got to escape on that thang. A little thang. So I remember I found out on the news, and it came up. They're like, former vice principal so-and-so. I just go, I knew it.

Knew it. My mom was like crying. She was like, can you believe this? I was like, yeah, yeah. I can definitely believe this. Yeah, I can. And then I looked him up on LinkedIn like three months ago. I was like, good for you.

Is he back out there? Oh, man. He took a plea. Really? How do you plead for that? And also, how does he have like a LinkedIn? He lost his license. He can never work.

Yeah, that should be able to. You should have to put that on your LinkedIn. You should have graduated from Queens College. I mean, fuck. Tried to suck you should have to put that on your LinkedIn. You should have to have it on your forehead. Like, you know, graduated from Queens College. I mean, fuck. Tried to suck a thang. Suck a little thang. Suck a little thang. I mean, does he get like a fucking.

It says here on your resume that you suck that thang. Can you elaborate what that is? Suck that thang, bro. The kid is still back in the day, right? Why is it under special skills? I don't understand. Suck that thang, man. He said you suck that thang from 1986 to present.

I would love to know What is sucking that thang LLC That was the closest I ever got To getting To getting Yeah a little bit To getting molested You ever been molested Joe

I've never been molested It's molesting I wish I could be in this conversation You were mad I was young You know what it was I was fast I was quick So you got away So they? I was fast. I was quick.

So you got away? Yeah. So they tried you? Did anybody try you? Slippery? No. No one ever tried to read you. I was never tried.

I know. I was ugly, yo. Now, yeah, you were a little dumpy. You grew into yourself. I did. Yeah, yeah. You grew into yourself. God.

Look at this fucking guy. You wouldn't fuck that little kid. Look at the fucking. Look at the growth. I was in a car Look at the growth Someone tried you bro Someone tried you bro I like that one right there below

You look like you're in 98 degrees Third row second picture 98 degrees It's not really good Oh the jean shorts And the rainbow sandals Let's go I'm ducking that right here

Shutting it down Son you look straight out I store you That's not even Wait I need to see little Akash now Alright Go to the one to akash wait

i can't i can't believe they didn't try you joe right handsome young fellow it's fucked up man honestly it's fucked up now that i'm thinking about you guys all ruin my day so thank you for that i want to be desired we all want to be desired we all want to be desired in the eyes of you gotta get tried you know i mean i just want to be desired. We all want to be desired. We all want to be desired in the eyes of... You just want to get tried. You know what I mean? I just want someone to say something. Bro. That's what's up. Look at that handsome little motherfucker.

This kid had Pokemon cards out the ass. Son, real talk. You could have molested me and nobody would have believed me. He's lying. Yeah. He's like, yeah, I love how it says, tell me I don't, though. Oh, fuck. Wow.

These are the best pictures to have back to back. Because I'm like, oh, look what you're up to. You glowed up, Arkham. Yeah, you did. Good for you, man. I got foint. You got foint, man. Good for you.

I'd molest you now. Hey, man. Honestly, out of all of us, you'd probably be the first one to get molested. Yeah, I'd personally get the thang suck. Yeah, you'd get the thang first. A little dainty, got pretty eyes and shit. You would suck his thang first? I mean, if that was my thang.

If you had to suck a thang? If I was into that thang. Hold on. If you had to suck a thang. If I had to suck a thang. You would suck Akash's thang? You know, just anatomically, like, it's probably, you know, at least. Oh, it's still small.

That's probably the least to take. Adam, do you think that you got a bigger thang than Akash, or Akash got a bigger thang? Probably. You're right. You're right about it. You're right about it. You got a little thang, Akash?

What was that? Monkey game trash, yo. All around. How big is your thang? Yo, you just. How big is a baby's, you know what I mean? How big is your heart thang? Can you draw it on that piece of paper? Is a baby's? You know what I mean? How big is your heart thing? Can you draw it on that piece of paper?

Is it baby carriage? Draw your heart thing on that piece of paper. Or outline it like a turkey hand. A turkey hand. Draw a C, a lowercase C, flip that shit. And that's your thing. That's my hard dick. Damn.

Yo, I forgot about that. What was the process of elimination of the dicks throughout the room? I mean, you know, he's a little dainty. I mean, you've all got some meat on your bones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andrew's white. I'm not into white guys. Right. You know? Safe. Safe. Hey, safe.

You want to feel safe. Yeah, I always stay brown, so, you know, I classed him first. Damn. I'm sorry, bro. Hey, respect, yo. No, respect, yo.

You know, black men don't cheat. I thought we were cool. We're here too, bro. Hey, respect, yo. You know, black men don't cheat. I thought we were cool. We've covered some topics. We have. We definitely have. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, we have. Oh, man. What were we saying before we went to the bathroom

that I wanted to talk about? We were talking about sports, I think. I think we were. Where are we finally? Kyrie. Oh, yeah. Kyrie being a little bitch. Just crying. You really don't like Kyrie. We talk yeah, Kyrie being a little bitch. Just crying. You really don't like Kyrie. Utah Gold. I just don't like his fucking mood, this mood swing thing. Did we even find out what that meant?

Here's the thing that I don't understand. Does the kid not realize that no job are you allowed to have mood swings? Not even no job. You're a point guard. You're the quarterback of the team. Back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up. He goes, his whole thing is, I'm not a perfect human. I have these different

mood swings. I have these different things. You're not allowed to do that when you're an accountant. You're not allowed to do that when you work in an advertising firm. You're not allowed to just be at work and not look at people and scoff at them. Treat them like shit. You're a spoiled little brat and you think that it's okay because

no one will tell you no. But the guy drives me fucking crazy. I don't like him. What's the Nets record, and you think that it's okay because no one will tell you no. But the guy drives me fucking crazy. I don't like him. What's the Nets record? Can you look that up? Alex, straight sleep right now. They won yesterday. I was slumped, bro.

Bro, you- I feel like it's like with him- You might as well just go to sleep then. You ain't doing shit. It's also like I was talking to a buddy about it, and he was like, dude, you get paid like $40 million. Like, just fucking say hello and fucking play basketball. Dude, it's 48 minutes. You can't smile for 48 fucking minutes, dude.

Like, it's just shocking. Some of the shit is so, like, in that article, and I think you brought this up on the Patreon, they talked about they're three and four. They have a losing record with Kyrie. They're the eighth seed. Somebody was talking about with Kyrie, I think you talked about it in that article,

like they wanted him to take a picture for a photo shoot and he had a hat on. And they asked him to take it off, and he's like, just Photoshop it out. And it's like, take your fucking hat off. It's so easy. Don't be a dick, bro. I can understand, honestly, getting frustrated on a basketball court. In my mind, I can find a way to be like, maybe you're so good, you don't get how people are, whatever.

A photo shoot, you're wearing a baseball cap. It's just, that's it. Are you worried about your hair? They got hair and makeup. What the fuck is, are you going bald? No, you got a great head of hair.

Take your, this, that's it. That's all you gotta do. But you're so fucking childish and bratty that you edited it out. He's a brat.

That's what he is. He's a spoiled little brat. I didn't even see what happened on the court. That I get though because if you're balling though, you beef sometimes. Yeah, he's fucking, he's literally good at scoring. I didn't even see what happened on the court. That I get though because if you're balling though, you beef sometimes. Yeah, he's fucking, he's literally been scoring.

I can totally see why he'd be pissed off. If we're beefing on the court, that's just happening there, but it's like you don't want to say hello to the fucking... Beef with the other team. Yeah. Or go up to your teammate and tell him what he did wrong. This doesn't work. Yeah. If you want to be the alpha dog, which he does, you

gotta be better. Look at this. Look at the play. Hold on. Watch. Okay. So he goes. Okay. So I think it was like a handoff.

It was a bad handoff. Bad handoff, right? It wasn't even a handoff. He just threw it at Eric Gordon. I'm okay. I'm okay with him yelling at that situation. Yeah, it's the execution he's mad about. That's fine.

Bang, dog. And then the next play is Joe Harris fucking it up. Or Cur's mad about. That's fine. The bang dunk. And then the next play is Joe Harris fucking it up. Or Curry, whatever. Some white guy. He loses the dribble. No, that was way too many. That was two white guys

trying to play together. You're going to lose that. Watch it, Kyrie. Hold on. Kyrie comes back. Where is he? Where is he? Come on, Kyrie.

He's going to go back to it. That's a lot of extra shots. No, no, no. Here it is. Here it is. Here're going to go back to it. That's a lot of extra shots. Maybe I'm making too much of it. No, no, no. Here it is. Here it is. Here it is. Fuck off, man. He pushes the guy.

Harris is trying to explain to him. He pushes his hand off of him, waves him away. It's just like you're being a little fucking girlfriend of hers. I understand sometimes you get into arguments on the court and that's whatever, but at the same time, I used to hate when LeBron and them used to just sun Mario Chalmers. I'm like, bro. Oh, that was the fucking worst I hated that shit I get that you're LeBron and you got D Wade and Chris Bosh but all three of them would just be like yo what the fuck are you doing every fucking time

yeah you know why they do that though because they can't yell at each other yeah everybody he's their scapegoat but it literally was like ganging up on this and I will also accept if you're LeBron If you're Michael Jordan You can single-handedly Win a lot of games On your own Kyrie can't

Matter of fact The first game He's going nut 50 points Craziest thing ever You still lost Yeah Beat us that asshole

What do you guys think About Draymond though? Lucky shot Draymond? Yeah Like all the yelling And stuff that he does. Oh, you heard KD said this? Are you cool with him?

KD? KD was like, yeah, it kind of made me feel a certain way. No, it played a role in me leaving. Yeah. That's fucking interesting. And they said it. I'm like, yo, Draymond coming to my office. That's what happened.

That's what happened. Bob Myers talked to him, and he was like, yo, I think they had a podcast. Draymond has this podcast that he had with Bob Myers. And they're talking about how he got called into his office about, like, yo, like, it might be your way or the highway. It might be you or KD. And KD already had it in his mind. He was fucking out of there. The big fuck you, though, is doing it after.

Like, I already left, and now I'm telling you like you're doing that to fuck with Draymond on some level because now the whole fan base is looking at him like you son of a bitch yeah and the team's

gonna suck the GM's are looking at him like you motherfucker you're due for an extension the end of this year I don't know if I wanna give you that Max I thought they already

signed him up I think he signed it already yeah he signed he signed it already yeah so they locked him in already I'd trade his ass who's gonna want him he's gonna trade him trade his ass this year why not he's not he's already on full tank he's not. It's not Fridays in Cities. They locked him in already. I'd trade his ass.

Who's going to trade him? Who's going to trade his ass this year? Why not? He's not. You're already on full tank. He's not useful. Say again? He's not useful unless he's on a good team. So I love that everybody shits on Draymond now.

I've been saying for the last fucking four years that he- I mean, I think he's a good player, but I think he's just a guy who benefits from having the two best shooters ever. The fucking best scorer on the planet. Yeah, he's not the guy. He's a good- I think it was crazy that- He's definitely having the two best shooters ever, the fucking best scorer on the planet. Yeah, he's not the guy, but he's a good... I think it was crazy that... He's definitely not the guy.

He's like a better Harrison Barnes. Nah, Harrison Barnes is better. Harrison Barnes gets a lot of shit. Give me Draymond over Harrison Barnes, though. He wasn't whack, but he just sits in the corner and shoots threes. Draymond does more. A lot more. Different players.

He can only do more if he has... That's what I'm saying. You put him on the Knicks right now He'll do the same shit Julius Garble's doing less Exactly You know who could Try to make a move for him maybe

Is Houston I could see him doing well On a team like that A team that needs a guy To tie it all together Him yelling at fucking Russell Westbrook And Harden

No watch I'd pay good money to watch it That skill set would work Yeah But the personalities I'd pay good money to watch it Nuclear With Dan Toney

Trying to coach all that Harden Westbrook's never going to work anyway just that. There's no way. But KD has this weird aura about him that LeBron, you don't see people doing that to LeBron. No. You know what I'm saying? KD allowed it to happen.

That's the thing. KD's a beta personality. Even when he was barking on you and I'm the best player in the world, I'm going to be like, yo, shut the fuck up. Yeah. Because first off, you can't be, you have to be in a position to get told, shut the fuck up. Yeah. And KD put himself in too many positions to be told, shut the fuck up.

Nobody's putting, LeBron's never put himself in that position. You can say whatever the fuck you want about this motherfucker. He is the, 99% of games he's ever played in his life. He's been the best player on the fucking floor. There's an energy. Also KD. If he's not playing LeBron 99% of the time, he's right.

But he doesn't have the personality to match. That's what I'm saying though. If you're getting barked on a national TV, like I'm gonna tell you to shut the fuck up. Like I know what I did. It's not going to shut the fuck up. Are you out of your fucking mind? Like who the fuck are you yelling at?

And on top of that, I don't even if I think you yelling at? And on top of that, I don't, even if, I think you could yell at LeBron like that, but I think LeBron has so much fucking self-belief and fucking, like, it won't affect him. Like, I'm like,

all right, yeah, but for him to go on national TV, you go on first take and you tell people, like, yeah, this is a big reason why I left this team.

Like, come on, even if that did affect him like that, yeah, he's not going to let the fucking world know that. Yeah, but you don't want the fourth best player barking on you

though that's probably why you know what I'm saying I just don't know why you like tell people that like if it really bothered me

I wouldn't just be like yeah it is what it is bro now I look like a bitch it is what it is that's all I would've said I mean he is well documented a sensitive man

he's a very sensy guy very sensy big time sense I mean you know I get it I can He's a very sensy guy Very sensy Big time sense I mean you know I get it I can't wait to see them Play together though Who?

KD and Kyrie Well they're both sensitive So it's gonna be great Exactly In New York One week in They're not in New York One week in

They're in Brooklyn In the metropolitan area I'm not gonna call New York If KD is back to old KD They might be so So fucking good That it doesn't matter But if he's not That shit is gonna be I don't think he's gonna be that I think he's gonna be very good But like back to old KD, they might be so fucking good that it doesn't matter.

But if he's not, that shit is going to be... I don't think he's going to be that... I think he's going to be very good, but they're all going to kill these. Why would they be so good? That's the worst fucking... Because KD at his peak was just so overwhelmingly skilled.

Yeah, I know. KD... No, I don't deny that. But like, I don't understand that pairing. Those are two guys that... I mean, KD is so dynamic, right? Because he can play off the ball as well.

Kyrie can't play off the ball to save his life. But KD can. So you just let Kyrie take all the shots, and then the ones he doesn't want to take, you defer to KD? Because Kyrie's not going to be a number two, and KD, you don't want to be a number two. So that's what I also wonder. In my mind, I think Kyrie going to Brooklyn,

and maybe this year we'll fuck everything up, but Kyrie and KD going together, Kyi was saying all right i get it you'll be because at the time also he was saying the shit about like i messed up with lebron i realize that now yeah he might have only said that because of then he starts going then he starts going it's my job to protect kd and make sure that something like that doesn't happen again and that's like when he's talking about playing injured and these types of things at the beginning of the season. Remember he was talking. So like, that's me.

I'm looking at that. Like he's trying to take this leadership role. He's trying to take this protector role. But that's why I think it works. But then you act like that though. But then I, but I think it works though. Get away from me.

Yeah, but you know what that tells me? That dude is on the court being like, I know I'm the best person on this team, so I can just do whatever I want. And he can, he can make a mockery and tell people what to do and be upset. Who wants to play with that guy?

You guys clearly aren't as better than me. I don't want to play. There's a guy sitting here. I don't even want to watch him. His Achilles is getting better. That's better than you. Exactly. I think that pairing works because-

And they're both ball-dominant guys. Right. They're both ball-dominant guys. What's the most Kyrie assists ever averaged in a year? Four or five? You know what I mean? He's not out there ditching. This is no brainer what I'm going to say.

I hear what you're saying. The type of player that KD is, right? He's not out there ditching. This is no brainer what I'm going to say. I hear what you're saying. The type of player that KD is, right? He's a beta scorer. Lethal scorer. That's why it works. But beta, I think there's a world where maybe it could work, but I think LeBron needs beta scores, right? LeBron actually worked with Kyrie because Kyrie was willing to be the beta

until his ego couldn't handle it anymore. He never had to play the point. He never had to do anything but score, which is what he wants to do. But his ego was too fucking monumental that he had to leave LeBron. Think about the type of ego that you have to be on a championship team with the greatest

player, arguably, who ever played a game and go I deserve more. To be fair, the three point shot to win it all, I deserve more. I need my own team. To be fair, the three-point shot to win it all, I deserve more. I need my own team. To be fair, he knew Braun was out. Everybody knew after that year he was going to LA. So I could see why.

Why? Why not? I mean, like. You're a free agent. Last year, they had max space. You could have gone to LA, done the same thing over again. The thing that is the most blatant observation that I've possibly seen, or made rather, is the fact that he couldn't win a single game without LeBron.

I understand, let's say LeBron sits six games a year and you win three out of six, right? That's good. You got some confidence. You'd be like, you know what? I don't need this motherfucker. I could do it if I built my team. Zero games he won without LeBron. Yeah.

So you know you can't do it alone. Let me tell you another thing. The Boston Celtics, you're injured for the entire postseason. And they be balling. The Cavs with LeBron to seven. And LeBron got to go superhuman the last five minutes to win that game. Oh, and let me tell you something. I was in the garden when they played the Celtics. Real quick, the. Oh, and let me tell you something. I was in the Garden.

Real quick, the next year, just so everybody just hammer it home, the next year, how far did they get? Second round, they got fucking stomped by the Bucs. And I'll tell you this, I seen them at the Garden this year, and I saw their Boston game when they lost by one point to the Knicks.

They look better without them, dog. Oh, really? They look better without them. I don't know if the personalities with Kemba and Kyrie. He doesn't make anybody better. Yeah, like Kemba is saying this. Kemba does this thing. That's always been my thing with Kyrie.

He doesn't make anybody better. The difference between Kemba and Kyrie is that fucking Kemba will facilitate for two and a half parts of the game. From the end of the third to the fourth, it's fucking Kemba time and everybody fucking knows it. And they get it to them, but they just seem to play better together with Kemba instead of Kyrie. And maybe it's a small sample size, but it's obvious to see. We had the same thing with Carmelo, though, too.

It was like, give me the ball and everybody watch me. It's just like, I'm going to hold the ball. I'm going to dribble it a bunch of times. Try to get to the rack. I won a couple games, but not any games of consequence. I just never liked the ball stopper. Especially because usually those guys aren't great at defense. Unless they're so fucking good.

Kyrie ain't D-ing nobody. Exactly. Usually those guys don't play defense. Mello. Kyrie. To be honest, nobody really plays defense anymore. Not until the playoffs. Not until the playoffs. There's like four guys. That's not true. That's not true. KD could lock down.

Elite players are playing defense. Kawhi's playing defense. Paul George is playing defense. Klay was playing defense. Younger LeBron played defense. Now he's old. The young kids play D. The young kids play D.

The guys who still want it. And Kawhi's not even young. What's Kawhi, 30? Yeah. You know, like even Steph, who can't play defense, tries. Tries. Like he is trying his hard out. He runs around screens andries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he is trying his hard- He runs around screens and stuff.

Yeah, he tries. He's going for it. But I think what you said is perfect. It's like, he doesn't make anyone better, and he's not good enough to do it alone. And that's the biggest problem is you have to make other people better if you could do it alone. Yeah. Like, Kawhi doesn't have to make other people better. Kawhi's presence by himself makes his teammates better. Kawhi's presence by himself makes his teammates better.

Kawhi's not really dishing dimes, right? No. Kawhi's not really doing help defense. He's locking down his guy, right? But he's so dominant that everybody residually gets better. You have to. Kyrie is not like that. No.

Because he's incredible at one thing and one thing only. Scoring the basketball. And if it's scoring, that's not the biggest help. I would almost rather a Draymond on my team than a Kyrie. If I got a good team, give me Draymond over Kyrie. If you have, agreed, and if you have LeBron or you have a dominant scorer and then you add a Kyrie, that's when the fourth quarter gets fun, right? Right.

Because LeBron, let's be honest. Fireworks. It's fireworks. LeBron, you look at him in the fourth. He doesn't really want to take the shot. He'll do it if he has to, but he wants to draw the defense, kick it. Make the right play. Make the right play.

But you need guys who can make that play. And a Kyrie is your assassin. And he had the hired assassin and everything was beautiful, but that ego got too much. Just got too much. That's the craziest thing, though, to think about. It's like you're making all this money. You could go anywhere you want, play anywhere you want, however you want, and it's still a problem for you?

Yeah. I think it is an ego thing because, I mean, take money out the window. It doesn't matter to NBA players. I mean, it does and it doesn't. I'm saying when you have so much money, like, all right, I need a new problem now. And it's the ego thing because when they win everyone's over at lebron's locker telling us like oh how'd you guys win this game and he's getting all the credit for this shit even if

kairi's hitting the fucking last shot it's like lebron probably like crazy that fucking series so he's like yo i want to get mine like i want to be looked at as the hero and that's why he's on this fucking team with these people he can yell at so he can be that dude but it's going to be interesting to see because you're right in that LeBron's a facilitator, so to get him, he had one of the best scorers in the league to just give the ball to, but KD,

I don't know if he's that dude, but I think they'll get along real well. The egos work. Kyrie and Kevin Durant. Because Kevin Durant's just going to submit to him. They're going to have baby sessions together. They're both fucking weird. To add to your point, though, about LeBron, though, is that real quick, real quick. What was the last

time that KD played with a egomaniac point guard? How'd that work out? Russ is the same thing to me, also. It didn't work out that well. Russ, energy-wise, I think is better, but there's a lot. Yeah, I'm a Russ fan, but yeah, same issue.

He's like your boy you take out to the club that wilds out. We can't take him all the time. Yeah, we can't take him with us everywhere. But he's the one that's the first motherfucker that got your back, and Kyrie's the one that's like, why were you talking shit? Yeah, but that's even more true. And Russ is like, I don't give a fuck who we got beef with. Who we got beef with.

That's Russ. But that's why Durant lucked out even being in Golden State. He was surrounded by stars. It's like, but also it's duran lucked out even being in golden state he's surrounded by stars it's like but also it's lebron yeah when you win everyone's there but when you lose everyone's at your locker too yeah yeah you can't sulk so when you lose motherfuckers say lebron lost they don't say kairi lost right so that's why it's like kairi had to deal with the smoke now had had to deal with the smoke the first time it's like yeah we're losing why are we losing and And it happened in Boston and he didn't like

how the media talked to him over there. That's why I hate to keep going back to Carmelo. Let's go to New York. They're a much kinder media. No, no, no. But that's what I'm saying.

It's like, even with Carmelo when they brought Porzingis in, it was good to have Carmelo here because they'd be at Carmelo's locker. They let Porzingis grow a little bit.

You need a guy like that. Any locker room LeBron's in, everyone's worrying about him. It's not the Lakers loss. It's LeB like that. Any locker room LeBron's in, everyone's worrying about him. It's not the Lakers loss, it's LeBron loss. That's how it's been since he was fucking 18 years old. It's a nice little shelter.

It helps. A year at least, he's not a Max player. He's Max talent, Kyrie. But if I got a Max slot, I'm not giving it to Kyrie if I'm a GM because I don't think

he wins me games. Unless I got LeBron. He's talented enough to be a Max player, for sure. He's a good enough player. not giving it to Kyrie if I'm a GM because I don't think he wins me games. I mean, they're out there maxing Chris Middleton and shit. He's talented enough to be a max player for sure. He's a good enough player. But if I'm building a team and I got one max slot and I don't have a LeBron, I'm not giving it to Kyrie to be my number one guy. Listen, if the Knicks signed him, I wouldn't be butthurt about it right now.

I would have been like, get him out of here! We'd be excited. We'd be fake excited about it. Bro, we'd be over here Being like Mood swings are like We need to like Stop

No one's really asked him How he's feeling Yeah bro He's got that mood swing Shade There's a problem In the black community No one's talking about therapy

No one's talking about this And we gotta talk about it You know what I'm saying It's like not a lot of Positive male figures Like you know Like maybe he just has Some counseling

But that's the thing though Like that's what I say to all Knick fans. It's like, as long as LeBron's in the league, we weren't going to win shit anyway. No. So we should have been tanking years ago. Yeah. Right. The worst thing that ever happened to us was that 50-win season.

Because it gave us hope? Gave us hope. Yeah. It gave us hope. And then you get blocked by Roy Hibbard and the whole thing goes down. The whole thing went to shit. You're not winning if LeBron's here. Just let him go.

Let him retire. Build some young guys. Let him go out west. Well, that's the problem with the Knicks, right, is that there is no building, right? This is the now city. I want it now. I want my championships now. I want my food now.

I want my clubs now. I do think that's starting to change, though. Yeah, in New York. Yeah, the Knicks are changing that mentality. I think people are kind of like okay we will suck but like we have some stuff here suck with a plan

yeah like yo the worst thing they could have done is give him like a max contract to like fucking Middleton or something that's what I kept telling people I was like yo that's what I was

you thought we were gonna do that the whole summer Tobias Harris bro let's not do this the most money that's getting paid is to Randles for two years he's sucked this year.

Fucking your best player is a 19-year-old rookie. Like, there's worse times. There's worse ways to suck. There's, like, levels to sucking. Yeah. Like, the Knicks have been the worst. There's entertaining sucking. Yeah.

And then, like, I can't believe Tracy McGrady and Eddie House are on this team sucking. Exactly. You know? Jesus Christ. Damn, Eddie House. Eddie Curry. No, it was Eddie House, too. No, it was Eddie House too. Damn, it was Eddie House.

Fuck. Fucking Anthony Hardaway. Best lineup in league history, though. Didn't he get his headband slapped around his head? Yeah, by Skip to my Lou. Smacked him in the head. Ray for Olsen, yeah. Ray for Olsen.

Yo, we got to get Skip on the podcast, man. Yeah, you should get him on here. Young guy. Cardoza. I'd love to have him, man. That's right. He went to Cardoza. I remember watching him play at Fresno State. Well, he played for love to have him that's right he went to Cardoza I remember watching him

play at Fresno State where he played for Tarkanian that's right Tarkanian tried to get all the Am1 guys he gave them all scholarships he's on Alamo too right Black Widow

he gave a few of them scholarships and I think that Skip was the only one that went yeah he hooped out Rafer

good ball player he got a ring yeah he got a ring with Miami I told you I played I was saying you brought Ray Rice before. I played basketball against him once. Who, Ray Rice?

Yeah, me too. Yeah. In some fucking Orchard Beach. Yeah, yeah. He played. He went to New Rochelle. Yeah. And then what happened?

Oh, he's a fucking beat the shit out of me. Yeah. He's good at that. Any football player who plays basketball. They had another kid, McDermott, on that team too that went to Providence and shit who was a monster too. I know that. But like, you know Jeff McDermott, right? Jeff McDermott, on that team too that went to Providence and shit who was a monster too. But like, you know Jeff McDermott,

right? Jeff McDermott, yeah. Yeah, so. Big light-skinned motherfucker. beast. But Ray was the point guard

and when I tell you an immovable object, it was an immovable object. Like, he would, you know when someone boxes you out and you're like,

holy shit. Yeah. Like, that's a man. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was like, god damn. Yeah. Like, that's a man. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was like, God damn.

I was like, yo, I tried to like crash a couple times on boards and I was like, I'm never doing it again. I'm not following my shot anymore and he was mean as shit.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, he talked a lot shit. I remember this. I remember a legendary story. He looked like this and he was just like, let's go, let's go.

And I was just like, dude, I'm good. So I was like, take this ball, like do whatever you want. That's probably what he said when he was picking his wife let's go, let's go. And I was just like, dude, I'm good. So I was like, take this ball, do whatever you want. That's probably what he said when he was picking his wife up. Yeah, yeah.

I love how he dragged her out the elevator like, I don't know what happened. She's so drunk. I hate this. I hate when she drinks in public. Better than me. Guys,

we got to pay some bills here, man. Pay those bills. This goes out to, this is the bill You know we were talking About this earlier About About Blue Chew

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Exactly. But if you're just chewing on something it could be gum. It could be mint. It could be gum. It could be hey I want to freshen up

before we get busy. I'm telling you, my go-to is come real fast. I like to come real fast. Yeah. But I take the pill before I have that first real fast come. Okay. So that round two, which I cannot do without assistance, I'm ready to go. So I really chew with round two.

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BlueChew.com. You get it for free. You just got to pay five dollars shipping. So guys, we should wrap this up because we've been talking for a few hours. It's been a long time. It's been a time. It's a beast of an episode.

This has been a wild episode. I want them to know where they can find you guys, anything else you guys have cooking up, what's going on, all the different project shows you guys are doing. Well, you can find me and him. We have a podcast together called The Basement Yard. So you go check that out on Instagram. podcast together called The Basement Yard. So you can go check that out on Instagram.

It's at The Basement Yard. And then, yeah, you can find us. There's a YouTube channel for that as well, youtube.com slash The Basement Yard. And there's other stuff around there that he's involved in certain things. Like? You can check out Santagato Studios.

And we're building out a bunch of other shows that we do also. Nice. I have this one show, actually. So he's on the sink. That's another one with my buddy Frank. And then I have another show called Other People's Lives with my buddy Greg. Talk to him. And we call people that have this.

They're anonymous, and they have these crazy stories. And we've talked to people that are into weird fetishes, DJ Clue. That have like this, they're anonymous and they have these crazy stories. And like, you know, we've talked to people that are like into weird fetishes and you try to understand like the whole science behind all that. But we've also talked to some serious people that are like survived mass shootings that have, you know,

whatever. Maybe I'll talk to this kid about his cousin. Cause that was kind of crazy back there. But yeah, so we've got a lot of cool stuff coming out. And you can find me personally on Instagram at Joe Santagato.

This is the first time Danny's acknowledged it was crazy what happened to him. Yeah, it was wild. Yeah, you can find me

at Dan Little Priori on Instagram singing about titties. Hit a bar right quick. I also mix in some borderline homosexual rap in there. As long as it's borderline.

Yeah, it's borderline. You know what I'm saying? I'll tell you right now, not borderline. Not borderline. I love like, like yeah you're going for it add daniel priori on instagram and then uh just hanging out with him but yeah we got a lot we got a lot of stuff going on there he's he's very humble but santa gato studios we're about to to blow shit up about to blow shit up well i'm excited man i love it i love new media i love connecting with people who are i think you know pushing shit forward in new media.

And it's cool that we all get to kind of cross-pollinate each other's platforms, man. That's it, man. That's really how we got to do it. That's the way that we just keep our foot on the industry's neck, if you will. The quote-unquote industry's neck. Sucking each other's media thangs. Yeah, dude. What?

Sucking that thang I think we got the name of the episode yeah anyway man go check them out I appreciate y'all watching this has been

Flagrant 2 peace God bless you