Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - The Akaash Singh Situation Just Got Worse

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

This week the boys let Akaash & Jasleen tell their side of the story… and it spirals into absolute madness. Everything is explained, from rosters, to frat parties, to ducking kisses, happy endings, and much much more. All that on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 00:00 Akaash’s side the story 00:48 ?????? 1:25 Frat parties & popping that p***y 3:31 Roster of guys + Buffalo Chicken Wraps 7:00 Good gold digger + “It’s not Miu Miu” 10:44 Jasleen like ball STANK 11:15 Ducking the kisses + THE SWERVE 17:40 Positivity doesn’t get rewarded + Orgy discussion 21:28 Akaash is allowed happy endings 22:49 “Your day is full of work” + Value of outsourcing 24:58 When Akaash is sick… + Women built different 27:43 Akaash’s birthday + Fleeing to India 33:31 Committing to the bit + Akaash’s mom involvement 36:16 Is this a PR stunt? Signing post-nup 36:59 Ayesha Chicken Curry… + Zaddy 39:11 Sore b**t hole, Dermatologist + Rose toy 45:46 Innocence & Perception 47:40 Experiencing love + Stop spending! 50:47 Breaking up + Betting to stay together 54:57 Ducking the kiss + Legal Happy Endings 59:13 Bidet vs Rough white + Sh*t himself 1:04:26 How was Thanksgiving? Hit 2m subs This episode is sponsored by Kalshi. This episode is sponsored by Sesh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tonight on Flagrant, the truth will be revealed. Marriages will be shattered. Friendships destroyed. Nothing will be the same again. Our guest, once a beloved comedian, has spent the last couple weeks being destroyed, disrespected. He's been dragged through the mud, and he couldn't even take out that tiny little of his and stuff it inside for his own pleasure. Give it up for our friend here to tell his side of the story.

Akash Singh. Brother. Brother, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. You can't imagine what you've been going through the last few weeks. Tell us what's been on your mind. Dude, I'm on your heart. I'm so glad you asked me, man.

It's been really hard for me. Hard for you? Oh my God! Oh my God! Jacqueline Singh is in the building! She wants vengeance. Security is here! Security is stopping her!

It's stopping her. The Punjabi power. Oh, my God, she's abusing the security box. The bag, it's absolute pandemonium in chaos. A cloud has brought out a comically large barrel scissors. He's cutting the bag on her. Oh, my Lord. James Lane, this is a podcast on a frat house.

What are you doing? Stay back. Tonight on Flavit. Let's just get right into it. Yes. Which frat party should my daughter avoid? I have a two-year-old daughter Which framp party should she not go to?

Shy should avoid teak Because they definitely Why? They make you pop that thing crazy? No, you'll probably spike the drink. No way. Yeah, so they got kicked off of our campus. No way.

Oh, my Lord. Pop and pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just get some definition. We're going to, any terms that you might need to know the actual meaning of Alex's To be fair, I thought it was just like dancing, getting dressed up. And maybe that was my mistake.

Yeah, so I acknowledge that. Look at this. Big one. Yeah, the act of getting dressed up, looking fly as hell, wearing a minimum of three inch heels, preferably higher and dancing your ass off into the wee hours of the morning. That was what I was doing. Yeah, this is white people. This is what you learn.

Guys, what do you think popping pussy is? You see? Joey Curseid is not that. Okay? They're doing more than security here. That was my bad. That was right. That was your bad.

Just give me a call every time. Any time we're worried about anything like that. Yeah, that's what I thought. As a white, I thought Pop and Pussy was just dancing. I thought it was like twerking. Yeah. Well, I knew that that's what you meant. Yes, that's what I meant.

But like once the internet makes you a whore. Yeah. They're looking at... Joe, Joe, we're talking... That's my wife. That's my wife. That's my wife for the time being. It's not a time being. What's no at all?

We have a calcium market, by the way. There's a calcium market that's been made. Will Akash and just leave divorce before 2027? I just want to point out, okay? Twenty-seven? Yeah, you guys are going to have, like, a long way. Yeah, we got a good deal. Yeah, we're trying to re-branching right now.

I got to wait that long. Can we get some other definitions out of the way? Yeah, let's get some other definitions. Allegedly, and you can correct me if I'm wrong here, is it true that you said that there was a rotation of guys? A roster. Roster. Yeah, what is a roster mean to you?

What does this mean? You guys have to understand, have you ever heard of the repressed Catholic school girl? Never. I was, yeah, you know. This Catholic school was in his living room. Imagine how repressed he was. I was the repressed Indian girls. girl that I didn't even watch

Jersey Shore in high school because I felt it to be too inappropriate. So when I got to college, I'm like, oh my God, I can dress however I want. I can do whatever I want. You can have a roster of crap. But what is a roster me? So it didn't actually translate to a roster. It just meant like two

guys I was talking to and flirting with at the same time. That's it. That's all. And when you say hooking up, I think people think when I mean hooking up, I just meant making out. Again, like everything I say is so amplified and hyperbolic because it's so incongruous to who I'm actually

who I actually am as a person. Right, right. So you're saying you're a big old prude. Yeah, literally. Now, I will be honest, as much as I was heartbroken by what was going on with you guys and definitely with, you know, Akash, my brother. There was a little part of me that was like it would be hilarious to come in here

and find out you had a huge roster relying about being a bunch of this whole time. It would have been heartbreaking for you. Yeah, yeah. You know, you had your whole life to share your virginity with a girl and she threw it to some frat house a white dude a white god

a fucking white guy god that shit got that shit don't slap five there that's bad okay so no real roster yes

because what a roster is what is a roster Al what's a roster what was a Urban dictionary Indian dictionary right

yeah yeah turbine I had a roster okay what is a roster so a roster There's a rotation of partners that you would they would pop their pussy for me. No, okay.

That what a roster would do. I didn't mean like- Women on my roster would be popping their pussy. Oh, no. I don't even like you saying that word hollered like that. And that feels uncomfortable. With all due respect, with all due respect, I have to thank you. No, no, no, this is a good lesson.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's not what I met. Remember the black substitute teacher in Key and Peel? That's that, right now. He's really explaining things. Yeah. Any other questions about the world that you have? have? No.

Also, why buffalo chicken wraps every day? Me? Yeah. How do you know that? You posted it on the internet. Wait, I don't know this one. Is that when you call the black guys? No, no, no. Sorry, guys, guys. Okay. Yeah, she calls out a Popeye chicken sandwich. Okay, wait, tell us, what is the Buffalo chicken wraps?

No, it's just literally I would just order Buffalo chicken wraps every day for dinner. That's it. I think where the confusion was, it's like I was just talking about this nostalgia for being in college when it's like you're still a child, but it feels like you're in the adult world and like you're so insulated. And you're in this bubble.

And like everything's just so simple and easy. And that's more what I was talking about. And now everybody thinks you're a gold-dinging whore. Yes. I'm working hard on reaching athletes. Kerr, please. You're a professional here. You're doing security.

We cannot laugh at him calling his own wife a gold-digging whore. Okay? Okay, she told me to shut up, it's even That is fair, that is fair, okay Also, like in terms of the gold digging Yeah Like, serious

Do you, do you consider yourself A good gold digger? Yeah Because I invested low And waited for it to go high You're a gold prospect. Yeah, that's not a gold digger Exactly.

Yeah, you're like a, hmm, what is that? You're like a hedge fund manager Yeah, yeah, you're like Arkansas of Bitcoin. Exactly. And it's like, she bought much lower than I did. She bought it the bottom, dude. She could not have that lower. But to me fair, it's like I was working too in the beginning.

One of us was working. Yeah. What were you doing? I was, I worked at, when we met, I worked at Goldman Sachs. I got a job at Deloitte after I graduated college. I was a consultant. I was sleeping in until 12 a.m. I worked in, you're a gold digger.

Yeah. You got the gold digger right in. You got this girl sleeping on the ground. Yeah, I know. This whole thing backfired. Also, I used to really believe that you guys were poor with his sob stories so we could get Patreon going, I didn't know you're working at a fucking hedge fund this whole time. He was spending your money. Well, I wasn't making that much.

I was making like $70,000 a year in New York City on two people. But that's good, though. Yeah, it wasn't bad. Okay, so then when did you guys get really broke? And why did you stay with him? 2018. Okay, do you want the real answer or the finance? I want to know the real answer.

and like I want to know that because I heard this beautiful story that Akash told about you guys sleeping on the floor and then like him wanting to give you his North Face or something and then you give it back because you're like it's not Mewmew I'm not sleeping in Norvaz you saved your money and

get me Miu Miu! I don't sleep on the floor with you know you have since 2009 I'm testing out of Northing No but you guys were sleeping on the floor because you were evicted from your apartment you were moving to New Jersey right? This is real And you'd still want to stay with him?

Yeah, I mean... Why? Yeah. I never actually asked. Why? No, you know why, bro. Come on. Oh, yeah.

You got that muffin top. Yeah, you got that loud. Yeah. Okay, the real answer. What is loud? What is that? His dick smells. Oh, that dick, that's...

Because once you... Oh, correct. Guys, guys, you guys are professional security. What are the fucking breaks out? Come on, you didn't make sure. Okay, no, but for real, you got a stink dick husband sleeping on the floor. Like, what's wrong with you, man? Like, you're supposed to be a gold-dinging horror according to the internet.

That's what I'm saying. There was, like, so many red flags early on. But why did you stay? That's a stupid of you. Okay, I stay because I felt like as soon as I met you, it was love at first sight. I loved you. Like, I don't know, I just felt like, and maybe, like, you feel like that when you guys met your wives or your fiancé, it's like, Like, you just, like, know when you have that special connection.

It's like, okay, like, God picked this person out for me. And, like, everything he did from top to bottom, like, his character, his integrity, his personality. Like, I just, like, loved everything about it. So I was like, okay, like, I don't want to just leave because we're going through a hard time because I really believed in, like, his potential. Like, just like you did, you know, because obviously you were more successful than Akash, like, in the very beginning and stuff. Oh, still. Yeah, whatever. And you guys have come up together.

that he was incredibly brilliant and talented, but also just an amazing soul and an incredible person. Exactly, but I just know, I also knew that about him, that he had, like, ambition and this work ethic. So I was like, okay, like, so we're going to go through this bumpy time, but I was, like, praying harder than I ever prayed, just that we would get out of it

and, like, something would resolve it. And I was just hoping that. And it worked, those prayers worked. Yeah, it did. And you haven't prayed for his balls to change the smell. I never prayed for that. Which shows me that you might like it. It's like vegomite.

for Australia. Yeah. Yeah, it's an acquired taste. Women are bigger on pheromones. Yeah. There is a way that that just kept you in it. You just couldn't leave that. Yeah, it's possible. Carnal smell. Stop.

What? Why isn't that a carnival smell? Why are you doing that to me? That's crazy. Yeah, what is that? Carmel smell would be better. It'd be like, funnel cake. It would be nice. Okay, the other thing that we saw

these videos of was the ducking the kisses. That was those are, listen. These ones piss me off. That I'm guilty of. I'm guilty of that. And I didn't like it one bit, and I didn't you to explain yourself of me. Yeah. Okay.

We need to know. Honestly, I didn't. Also, can I just say that I would watch the videos and I would die like. As a friend who loves him, I would die laughing. Because they edit it so perfectly where he's going in and they're scat. But he's already got his lips purse, so he's got to commit to the kiss. Yeah, we got to check that. That would have to shift the edit right there.

That might have been a Shifty. Shifty might have been editing those. Shift you made it. Shifty? Yeah. Anyway. Those piss me off. So tell us about the duck.

Do you always duck his kisses when they're not people around? No, not when there aren't people around. Just when there are people around. And I never even knew. I never. Explain yourself. I didn't know that I did that. I didn't know that.

So I really sat and thought about it. So I think it's a few things. I think it's like. He's really sad and thought about it. Yeah, because I was like, okay, maybe it's like the repressed Indian girl thing where it's like I get a little bashful. I do get a little shy despite what the internet things.

Most Indians do. I'm the exception. I think I also get overstimulated because Akash does it a lot. Like every 30 seconds. Like a little bit. I get it now. I get it. That's why I grabbed your chin so you can move my face though. I was here.

You were a show your mic. What was it? Mike? Who's Mike, Mike? Oh, sorry. Okay. I just suck that off of you. Okay, so it is a little bit overstimulating for you.

Yeah, it like regulates him, but it kind of overstimulates me. And like the videos people have seen are like the proposal videos. They're like already overstimulating. Okay, so here's the thing that I think is like very relate. I think the relatable thing is not wanting to make out with your partner in front of your entire family. Yes. But most people just do it because they're like, oh, I don't want my partner to feel embarrassed in this moment, even though

they're like, ugh. And you're just like, you just feel the, uh. But I do think it is, I do think it's relatable, though, to have that sensation of like, I don't want to be intimate around my like brother, sisters, or mom, dad. Yeah, exactly. I think that is, I think that's relatable to people. Yeah. Yeah. But most people

just do it and then do a quick one. Like, my wife will just give me like a quick smooch and then go back to do it. And we never saw our parents kissing ever. So it's like so foreign to us. This is an interesting thing that a lot of the internet might not understand but it's like your family, your parents were not like romantically

in love at all. And would you say yours? You could cut romantically. You know what I mean? Were they both arranged? Yeah. And sometimes arranged marriage, it's a freak off.

They love fucking all the time. Yeah. Probably. But they don't show us. Even if they don't see it. Exactly. Thank God. Yeah.

You can't show that to children. My kids are our kids are going to see it. They're going to see it. Now, especially the internet has shamed her and did not duck it. Oh, now she got no excuse. Yeah, that's true. Me one. There we go.

Okay. She too. Well, so, yeah. Can we settle something for the internet? Yeah. Will you kiss Al-Kosh right now? I don't even know if I want to see it. On the lips.

Okay. Groove everybody. Go, go. But it's going to mess my left. Bring that ass over here. Yeah. Oh. Oh, my God.

He goes. How's it feel? How's it feel? How's it feel? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. It was over-stimulating. Damn.

It was over-stimulating. Damn. Cross his leg. Shows or show. I've won on the books. There's one single one, guys. We back. March 28th, 2026.

Providence, Rhode Island. It's part of the Rhode Island Comedy Festival. We will be out there. We will see you guys for a very, special night. Again, this is the only date that is on the books. Yes, I might be popping into these comedy clubs in New York City. Yes, the rumors are true. I might be up in there and out of there. Yes. But as far as the road goes, this is the one that we have booked. I'll see you guys. Providence, Rhode Island, March 28th, 2026. That's all. Also, guys, we're adding shows all over

the place. Thank you guys for helping me support my gold digging wife. We have a fifth theater show in Toronto that we're adding. Thank you all so much. That's fucking incredible. Sixth on Irvine that we're adding this Sunday. We also announced Radio City. Oh, we're also adding a show. There's a casino date. Foxwood's Casino, January 24th, the day after the Wilbur. I'm excited.

That's going to be in Mashantucket, Connecticut. All those dates and a bunch more, Akarsing.com. Radio City, still got tickets to let go cop those. I love y'all. Thank you all so much. Hello, people. My name's Mark. I'm going to be on the road.

I'm going to Fort Wayne, Indiana. I'm also going to Chicago, Hoboken, New Jersey, Salt Lake City, Washington, D.C., to be announced, and Charlotte. And then, of course, we're doing our show every month in New York City at Mary Lou. We're doing it on December 16th. It's a great time. And I'll see you guys. Why does it say Washington DC to be announced?

Is this TVC? Yeah, we got to get the ticket link. It's a, you know, we're adding shows probably. They're going to be sold out. It's going to be a big theater, maybe an arena. I don't know. We got to talk about my... So your website, you're announcing dates with no link?

Yeah, we got to see the people waiting or wanting. What is it? Yeah, I'm just curious. Always leave them wanting more, right? So whenever we add this arena, I'll see you guys at the show. God bless you all. And good evening night. You didn't expect to see me here, but I, too, have an announcement.

I'm launching my new show, A.M. Mornings. We're live every Sunday at 11 Eastern. It's called, it's a call-in show where we discuss the biggest topics. What are you doing to me? I'm kidding. I'm supporting you. They don't blame him. They're not doing anything. They're doing little sign signals.

No one's doing anything. Just keep going off the dome. It's a call-in show where we discuss the biggest topics of the week. Join us and have your say. Here's the catch. There's no anonymous trolling. No hiding behind an anime avatar. If you got something to say,

you better show your face. Bitches. Every Sunday at 11 a.m. Eastern. Peace. Oh, my God. This is, that was heartbreaking for me. Now I'm feeling for Jesse. What an asshole.

This guy is humiliating his wife in front of millions and millions of people. It was an act stupid. But can I just say there's so many TikToks where I talk so positively about him, Yeah, but why does that, why that doesn't go viral? Positively talking about people. Yeah, but I was just saying, I found so many TikToks where I was saying so many amazing uplifting things, but they didn't grab onto that.

That will never, the internet will never reward positivity. Yeah, that's true. Less and learned. Less and learned. Well, that is, that is the tricky thing. But it is, it is a weird thing. It's like when you share your life, like, as a couple publicly with the world, you know, and. Rough.

You guys have, like, you guys have, like, idiosyncrasies that are. are kind of different from a lot of couples. You know what I mean? Apparently, bro. The orgy thing was fucking, that shit was crazy. I even watched it and I was like, so break us down. How do you explain? Has the orgy happened?

So, okay, no, no, it has never. Okay, no, I only fuck one woman. That's what I thought was, that's what I thought was missing in the whole orgy combo is that he also gets to get some side. I could have doubled my body count. Yeah. Now, would you have let him get some side in this hype? Yes, of course. Everyone should be included.

Nah, but Al-Qas wants the dude. The dude. You think he can handle all 10 inches of NAB? You can take NAB down? Or is NAB taking it? Come on, NAP shorter than me. Who's taking it? Oh! BAMBAMB! B'am! B'Han! B'Han!

Nave the bottom is dick dragging on the carpet. Like the dust? Shout out Nab, bro. Shout out NAB, you fucking home record. Okay, what the fuck was that joke? I think for a lot of people, myself included, like I saw that and I was like, why would she even joke around about that?

Yeah. With Akash there and like, what was the backstory to that? Now, looking back, like, it's been pointed out to me and I get that. I feel like for us, I think I learned so much of my humor from Akash, not to justify it, but just to explain like, oh, if I say these absurd things, it's so funny because it's not who I actually am. But I kind of forgot that, like, the internet doesn't know all these multi-dimensions of my personality, so they're just seeing this one thing. Right.

So the orgy joke started with, like, Akash being like, oh, Nav's really hot. Like, Nav would, Akash would show Nav's picture to his trainer or whatever, because he's like really like, yeah, rift or whatever. I will say also, if she had a body count, I would have been like, hey, hey, hey, cut, cut it. But because she doesn't, and I know how, like, innocent she actually is. Oh, you are a version? That's real. I wasn't virgin until I met him, yeah. Really?

Yeah. Oh, okay. All right, good to know. Yeah. And if she wasn't, that body count thing, I'd have been like, what are we doing here? Right. Because I would have been insecure about it, but I can be, not that I'm so secure, but with that joke, I'm, like, so secure. Oh, I absolutely would feel insecure.

And I think stupidly, I was like, oh, it's an orgy, so it's all of us. It's not like talking. Yeah. I said, you're being inclusive. You're being inclusive. It's not a roti. No, we're not doing this. That is stupid.

Don't let me get other pussy. One of our fans asked us would you guys have an orgy? So I just said, oh, I'm actively trying like as a joke. Because I just feel like... Can I do a piece of advice? Okay, okay.

If you clearly see that I'm the one commenting those things, you don't have to answer it on the podcast. If it's Andrew Sheldon to ask us, oh, you guys are going to have an orgy on a podcast. You don't have to react to that in real time. Dude, Akaj's line yesterday, he was like, oh, this is so annoying, this whole orgy thing.

Like, I can't even cheat without her being there. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. Too much quality time. Let's do something separately. You know what I mean? But how come you can have a joke about outsourcing hand jobs and blow jobs? But aren't you cool with the handjobs? Yeah.

You're cool with him just getting a handjob massage. Totally. Are you at? Yeah, I know. Yes. I've said that it's less work for me. I don't, this is, I don't. Can you talk to our wives?

I don't know. You can't tell you why I don't believe. You know the horrible decisions? Yeah. She was, you guys are like, dude, I think your girl will be down. She keeps saying how pretty weezy is. And I was like, even then, I was like, no, the fuck. She's all talk.

She's all bluster. That's why I haven't tested the handjob thing. A paper tiger. She's a, yeah, fucking, she's our dog. She's a yapping little dog behind a fence. Nothing's going to happen. There's no bite. All bark, no bite.

So you would say that, but in reality, if he actually did go get it. Okay, like, let me think about it. If you actually did go get it, yes. Like, I think it would bother me, like, 30% But I feel like 70% I'd be like, okay, whatever. I put you through a lot the past couple weeks. Like, he deserves it. I do like I owe it to you.

I do kind of deserve it. Yes. And we're going to be supporting that. We are so close to China town. She can't be prettier than you. Yeah, she just can't be pretty than you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's not going to, yeah, unless you go.

That's not going to happen. Yeah, it's going to be an old Chinese lady. My also, my justification for the hand job is it's emotionless. And it's a, it's just like a little thing after a massage shirt. Okay. Yeah, that's a great. I mean, I'm on board. Fire.

I also like the fact that it's just less work for you. Yeah. And I know your day is full of work. Wow. Well, let's get a counter argument. Let's get a counter argument. Yeah, let's get a counter argument. I think that was inappropriate and that was on call for.

So will you go ahead and dismiss this and explain yourself on the record? I do things. Okay, all right. Look, my client in this case, that's not what she fits to lawyer. Mark, can you meet Jess Lee's lawyer in this moment? Lars, please tell me. Jasseline cooks, she cleans, she maintains the home on a monthly basis. Is that true?

Yes. There you go. Not by me specifically, but yes. Yes, and you also will find people. You get it, but not you. You schedule. Someone got to manage that house. We all have cleaning people.

Yes. Yes. I like how you call them cleaning people. That was very politically correct But do I not take care of happy Like he's my son Of course And I go on the road

I come back, it's clean I don't know if you hire somebody Or if that's you But every time I come back It's clean I hire someone yeah Really Without me knowing

Now I feel betrayed I thought you did something Everyone's hiring people You know what I mean Hand jobs cleaning It doesn't matter Okay Everyone's got something

Outsourcing works If there's one people On the planet of outsourcing, it should be Indian here. This is... Exactly. Yeah. Okay, what else? What else was like super... More files?

Yes, what else was part of... Oh, they called it the Akash files. They released the Akash files. How am I? Equivalent to Epstein. Let's think. Let's think about it. You're the victim. You're the girls. That's what I'm saying. It's Epstein files, isn't it? Yeah, but you're the girls.

I know. She's Epstein. Yes. The Epsilon files. The Epsilon files. Okay, what else? What else was there? Tell me something. Yes. Because it's been bothering me. I love that this is so good with the glasses.

Great character work. I'm sorry to break it. Thank you. Silence. Tell me something. When Akash is sick, how do you behave? Ooh. She's good, actually.

I am good. My wife is horrible. There's an undertone of irritation after like day two where you can tell she's like, all right, that's right. I mean, I... You get two days? I just say I feel like you guys are a little bit, like you guys

exaggerate a lot and just What? No? Yeah. Us. And for context, literally. Yes. Ridiculous. Literally. Oh, you think everything's wrestling. Do you think that's a joke? You think we're just going crazy? No. We're not taking any chances

here. Do you see our securing? You know what the fuck you're capable of just lean? But like for me like an hour before my emergency gallbladder surgery, my stuff was killing me. And remember, I had to interview Blau for journalism school, and I still interviewed him because I didn't want to reschedule.

So I feel like women are just built different. We're built to withstand suffering. Yes, you are. That is true. We're built to withstand y'all. Yes. That is our suffering. That is a great point.

There you go. Yeah, yeah. We have different types of suffering. Physical pain, you guys are much better at hand. But, yeah, if you heard how often we have to hear, babe, it's a very different. Did I tell you all this? it like a my wife asked me to do something before I got

into the apartment she heard the elevator going up before I typed in the code in the elevator I heard Andrew can you and I just I pushed one and went right back down I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this right now let me get into the fucking house before you tell

me what to do. Look this is the Schultz files okay yeah sorry sorry go go go go go I sense that you're avoiding the question yeah oh is it True. Then on August 18th, 2025. I don't know. I made that date up. You said that when Akasha's sick, you hate

taking care of them. Whoa. I mean, do I like it? No. I would do it. Why would anyone like taking care of a sick person? That's a good point. Like, I'm just being honest

and maybe it is an hiss of autism. Don't let her pull you in. I don't know why anybody would do that. It's, you know, nurses, doctors, doctors. I mean, granted, they're compensated. Yeah, that is, actually, they're getting paid for it, handsomely. Handsomely, yeah. And nurses, they ain't that happy about it.

Yeah, sometimes. You need enough nurses, you're like, well, they all don't enjoy it. Y'all don't enjoy this. Yeah, it is one of those things you just got to fake it. It's like kissing your husband in public. You just got to fucking fake it and be like, I love doing this. I love nurturing you back to health. That's what I want.

Yeah. Okay, then you get the big reward afterwards. It's like when Akash's birthday comes around. I have to pretend that it's like so special. I don't even ask for this. The one day, yeah, you do. The one day of the year that I have to like be totally selfless. Oh, yeah, that I'm like.

Which is really hard for me. Leslie, you're doing a horrible job right now. Just when we think we've gotten you out of it. Take that part. Go back in. Go back in. Okay. You dig the hole deeper.

Okay, his birthday is a great day. Yeah. And we love his birthday. Yeah. Which day is it? Made his birthday. Okay, all right, you passed. You passed.

Now, my question for Raka. Yes. These files leak. Yeah. The internet set ablaze. You quickly flee to India. International borders. Yeah.

You go to a different nation. Yeah. Can you explain the invitations for this trip? I was trying to get away from her, but she followed me. She dragged you down. So why did you see? Why did you guys go to India so immediately? What happened there?

Unfortunately, we had planned the trip like two months earlier. India, Dubai, with her mom, thanks even with my mom. That's what horrors do. They hang out of their parents. You know what I mean? What a hoarse thing to do. It was convenient. And go on a religious pilgrimage.

Yeah. You guys went on a religious pilgrimage. Went to the Golden Temple with their bars up. Did they see you annihilate you in? They're like, not this frat house. I wouldn't finish the sentence. I couldn't do it. You have to walk through water when you get there.

actually made her roll around in the water she's so filthy. They're not to cleanse you. It's such a filthy person. Okay, so you go, oh, is this the place right here? It was actually, yeah, it was beautiful. Oh wow. Oh, wow. Yes. What is this place called? The holiest sight and it's called, yeah, Punjabi, they say their bar side or the golden temple. It's like, because it's literally made out of gold.

Oh my God, that's a lot of gold. You would actually really like it. Mark would really love it. And this is in Punjab. And it's set on fire as soon as you walked in. Yeah, in Amritsler, yeah. Oh, wow. And then what do you? And I had never been, so we had playing this trip a while look at this can anybody go in the water yeah you can yeah like you do like

Miles what the racist shit are you laughing out right now that is disgusting in this court that laugh right there was racism and we know it's set it up I didn't set up anything I asked if you could go in the water I didn't ask if we could wash our gosh those holes in that would be

disrespectful that would be inappropriate I can't say that why were you laughing at that it's a lot of clean water in India wait what do you mean it's just That water is clean. Yeah, it's crystal clear water. That's what I said. It's a lot of clean water in India.

Wow, Mo. This guy is a real peat. Do you see who your husband hangs out with every day? Wow. Bad guy. What is going on back there, fellas? What is going on back there, fellas? Hold it together.

Hold it together. All right? All right, guys. Let's take a break for a second, man. Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow. It's incredibly easy. You can sign up in minutes and start automatically investing, even if all you've got to invest is spare change.

And Acorns grows with you, whether you're just starting out or thinking about settling down. Acorn supports your big and small goals across every life stage. That's what I love about this is a lot of people start thinking about money and investing when they have it. You should start thinking about it right away. And I think that's what this does well. I wish I did that.

Same. Yeah. Same. The Acorn's potential screen shows the power of compounding and how your money could grow over time. Plus, you can quickly adjust how much you're investing every week or month to make sure you're building towards your goals. Okay? Sign up now and join over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion with Acorns. Plus, Acorns will boost your new account with a $20

bonus investment. Offer is available at Acorns.com slash flagrant. That is A-C-O-R-N-S.com. slash flagrant to get your $20 bonus investment today. Terms and conditions apply. See Acorns.com slash terms for details. Disclosure is a paid non-clin endorsement compensation provides incentive to possibly promote acorns to your two conversation provided potential subject to various factors, such as customers accounts, age, and investment settings does not include ACORN's fees slash results. Do not predict or represent the performance of any ACOR portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing falls risk. Acorns, advisors, LLC, and SEC registered investment advisor. You important disclosures at Acorns.com slash Flaco.

All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. All right. Favorite holiday movie, Alex, what's your favorite holiday movie? Elf. I was going to say elf. Have you seen Home Alone? No. No, phenomenal. Alph is better.

HomeLone is phenomenal. Nama for Christmas. I like that. Love Actually is great. Love Actually is great. Have you seen the holiday? It's a fun time. Die hard.

Die hard. I just watched it on the plane. Awesome Christmas movie. Guys, to make these holiday favorites, it takes a team of talented people from actors, editors, props, people, the sound crew, and more. And when it comes to building such a team, whether it's for entertainment industry or a wide range of other industries, you need to hire

the right people. The best way to do that is with ZipRecruiter. And right now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash flagrant. How does ZipRecruiter help you round up the brightest team? Well, you can find out right away how many job seekers are in your area that are qualified for your role. With ZipRecruiter's advanced resume database, you can instantly unlock top candidates contact info. Okay, so just make your hiring a little merrier with ZipRecruiter. four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter, get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to this exclusive web address right now.

Try ZipRecruiter for free. ZipRecruiter.com slash flagrant. That's the web address. Again, that is ZipRecruiter. com slash flagrant. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Now, let's get back to the show. Ella McKay, coming to Theaters December 12th.

Your father's here. Why? A heartwarming new comedy from James L. Brooks. I'm a different person. I have never in my life out this web. about any other woman. Jesus! I wasn't counting your mother!

It's a perfect holiday comedy about an imperfect family. You can use a scream, Ella. Storing Emma Mackey, Jeannie Lee Curtis, Camel Nanjiani, Iowa Devery with Albert Brooks and Woody Harrelson. You should do that every afternoon. Ella McKay.

Okay, so you go to this temple. It's beautiful. You're able to pray. Is Akash fully converted to Sikki? No. He's getting there, though. Yeah. She goes to the Munder probably, she makes me go more than I make her go.

She's like, we're going to the Golden Temple. Or we should go to Gurdwara, we should also go to the Munder. And I'm kind of like, I'm tired, dude, let's just do one. But which one would you do? I would do the Munderer. Over the Gurdwara? But you get free food at the Gurdwara. We do get free food.

Yes, you do get free food. Mark knows. He just did a video. Yeah, we had the food at your wedding. That was great. Yeah. The peanut butter stuff. Yeah.

What was it? Which part? Oh, the Prashad? it's brown sugar ghee and flour like mixed together she's actually made it non-cookin ass bitch

you can make that yeah really this useless bitch which is like Punjabi brown meat you can't do that you can't say it's with all due respect

please you guys say with all due respect I guess it's your wife why it's on the internet was right about everything golding a horror of a woman okay so you can make all these things you can make all these things Yeah.

So you're presenting this version of yourself online that's not true. But you're actually a tradwife. I was committing to this a bit because I thought that that was the funny thing to do. But I'm not a comedian, obviously. You're not fooling us.

Yeah. All right. All right, let's rank Asian people. Okay. This is not true. Don't do it. Don't do it. Yeah, don't do it.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Because some of these questions she might answer. And then she might get in trouble in a different way. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Black people. Okay.

No, not that question. I don't know if you remember this. So this is, but people always say like that Mondes and stuff will say she's just like my mom. And I'm realizing what you remember my mom, you ask her anything and she would like, no, I don't want to answer that. And then she'll answer. I'm realizing she does the exact same thing. Maybe that's why they get along so well. But if you ask these questions, she will answer.

That's inappropriate. Your mom hit me up when you guys were going through it. Oh, yeah, dude. I know. She told me. She's like, guys. She was like... I told him my daughter-in-law is so nice.

She did. And so sweet. I was like, oh, my God. She was like, I promise she was a virgin. I promise. I was like, I'm not getting involved in this at all. She's like, I know I can smell it. I was like, what is that?

We held up the sheets. This was pure. But she was working, she was working PR for you. I just want to let you know. I never doubted it. I never doubted. never doubt. She was going to type a comment on the YouTube. She had it, sent it to me.

A long one. Yeah, a long one. I was like, you don't need to do all this. Yeah, that was probably the best thing. What do you guys say? Some people say this is a whole PR stunt for you to sell tickets and for you to... Who is that popularity? I would rather be a PR stunt. Yeah. I would love if that was true. Is that a

narrative? Yeah, I saw that. Now you're... I saw a couple videos of saying it's like a very strategic PR stunt. I don't know how... I wish I cared that little about my wife's reputation. lean in lean in say you're going to kiss at radio city oh yeah yeah yeah we'll do that kiss reveal in radio city we will make out

hardcore April 18th 18th now we're talking April 18th If you saw out radio studio sign a pre-nop a post no A post no! Okay fire into this I'm into this Have you seen any memes or content that you guys thought were funny? Aisha chicken curry That was that. Yes we got to go through the funny

objectively good. I also like Ayesha Curry. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I can see it. Yeah. Yeah. I can see in the hole again. I can see in the hole. I can see your point. I can see your point. What about Jada Pinkett's thing? That one hurts a little, but it's funny. Okay. What other ones were good? I thought Jislene was hurtful. I didn't like that one at all. Yeah. Yeah. You said it. Why are you laughing? Because she told me she goes, every time she said it, she would go, they're calling me Gislein, and it really hurts my feeling, but she couldn't say it without laughing every time.

The red dot table talk was good, too. Red dot table talk was good. I saw a funny one that was actually I thought it was very disrespectful. It said, call her daddy, more like call center daddy. I was like, well, that's really good. Unfortunately, that's pretty good. So, cheers. But it still pissed me

off. I saw one with you making out with the dog. And they were like, man, she'll kiss the dog and not Akka. That's true, yeah. I do, yeah. I never, I never did. Now, would that have something to do with the fact that there's no romantic connection between you and the dog?

Yes. He's my child. He's my son. So you don't think about it. So you would smother your son with kisses? Yeah. That makes sense because it's not romantic. Yeah.

But when you kiss Akash, there's like real hornyness behind me. He's daddy. I think it's just like this. I'll cause his daddy or what? Yeah. What's his favorite position? Oh, you guys got a lot of people. You don't have to answer.

You'll have to answer. I got to want to know. So you guys, this is how comfortable. No, I want to think. No, I'll just turn in his cheek. Yeah, yeah. Okay, was there, before we wrap this up, was there anything that you saw?

Was there anything that, like, obviously all the things I imagine made you feel bad. Was there anything that specifically bothered you or, yeah? I mean, I think people talking about the sore butthole story because that was more kind of like an assault story, but I didn't want to label it as such because I didn't think it was super traumatizing, had already shared one and I feel like the internet has a quota for girls of like how many

assault stories they could share regardless of if it's true or not like obviously I didn't like oh every story she tells me she's getting assaulted. That's why I didn't want to do that. So I was like oh this happened. I didn't really say it's okay. So what happened if you don't mind saying? Well I mean so I was living in San Francisco working on my internship. Definitely a butt thing what happened there. Not shocking at all. This is like when Tinder first came out. There was no bumble.

There was no hinge. I met this guy on Tinder. Whatever. Like we were like just feeling like the vibes. And I stupidly was like, oh, you can sleep over. But like not really wanting to hook up that much. Because again, for me, like I was just like, okay, maybe we can make out and just like whatever and cuddle. But then I guess he like wanted.

Was this guy Indian? No, he was like wage. He took it very differently. I've learned this translation Wait, what do you mean? An Indian guy might understand what an Indian girl means when she says we're hooking up.

It doesn't mean we're fucked There's something conservative I think most American people are like I was thrown off by her inviting him over Because when I've been invited over That usually means oh we're fucking No I know that was again Stupid decision on my part

I was like 21 And so it's like I really just like I don't know like I just was making bad decisions all around So it's like But I was like Okay like we'll kiss whatever I don't remember honestly I don't even remember too much

but I just remember him like trying to like sneak a finger and I was like no no we're not doing that but like then the next day like it was like kind of feeling sore but it wouldn't like if it had been anything else it would have been a whole other story it would have been like it would have dared something

you know so it was just like that this was a creep pervert that was trying you and the internet ran off with this crazy narrative something completely different yeah yeah security you got a find those guys. Yeah, we got to get them. I would love that. Can I beat this guy up? Probably not. No, you can. You can't. You can outsource it. Yeah, outsource.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the rose to his head. You got it. Okay. Anything else? What other things popped up? We got to get it all out. Yeah, we need to get it all out. We need to purge this. And I'm not going to be happy until we figure it. Oh, the dermatologist video. That one, that one pissed me up. That was that. outrageous and completely uncalled for. So tell us why you were showing your cheeks to the guy and asking if he's single.

It was a single Indian doctor. Can I just give the whole lore? Okay, looking back, I get it. It was stupid. I was being stupid, okay? But we all make mistakes. But just to be here. A good point.

Technically we do. Yeah. So what happened was I actually fell in Pilates class. I fell on my ass. Me and Akash happened to have an amazing romantic weekend together. Where? What position? This is in New York City

Just whatever, enjoying life And maybe we had just gotten the rose toy too So it was like also really fun What's the roast toy? Oh, Andrew, it will change your life What's the roast? This is inappropriate. Is it a toy for sexual things? Yeah, it makes things very easy.

You'll never have to go down again. But it's not kind of too. This is Akash's like this is my outsourcing This is my outsourcing You are an enigma though Whoa. No, no, no. Like, you're so, what?

Why? That's a word, right? It is just the energy is great. Hard energy. You're leaving that. The hard hour hotel, you know. Okay, an enigma. Okay.

Oh, God, it shows it going. It ended up the A, so it's different. Yeah. What is, oh. Oh, chill out. No, no, there's a woman here. Not that. No, not that. We all use that one.

Nothing goes inside. That's good. Just that one. You don't have to see right later attached. But you're comfortable sharing this. Yeah. But then there's other things you're not. Because I also feel like this could help girls out.

You know, I'm on an SSRI. So sometimes you need like a little boost. So why not. Yes. But this is why I think that there's confusion. People get confused. Because to feel comfortable talking about that, but then also not feel comfortable with certain sexual things.

That's where the brain goes. What I have to make. make up something i don't know it's hard for me i mean i just am existing i'm not trying to like the only thing i try to do is just be myself on ticot but like 10 times extra yeah and again like not to justify but i feel like i've been without guys since i'm 22 and i feel like i've learned so much of my humor from him my personality from watching you guys i've hung out with so many comedians so i'm like oh like be extreme be funny as long as your actions are a good person you know what i mean so i'm like oh i can say whatever i want

Don't you blame this on us. No, you're trying. Can't blame this on us, Jess. I'm just trying to give context. Okay, okay. I'm not blaming it. Fair enough. Okay, so you were saying you guys had a really horny weekend with your toy.

Yes. Okay. And so what happened was as a joke on TikTok, I showed the bruise. Like, not like, I didn't show my full ass cheek, but I just show a little bit. Because again, like, repressed Indian girl, I'm like, oh, I can dress however I want as long as I don't actually do anything. So I'm like, okay, you know, show, tell me at a good weekend with your husband without telling me, showed the little bruise. Rishi, who is by dermatologist and my brother, amazing, like, practitioner.

He was like, I've gone to him for hyperpigmentation. It really bugs me. And he's like, hey, I just want to let you know if you don't treat this, this is going to pigment. And then he knows he's going to have to deal with me later. Like, please, can you get rid of the scar? So he's like, I would just treat it like ASAP or whatever. So I'm like, okay, perfect, I'll come in.

And then again, me being stupid, like, because I want to go on double dates. I'm like, oh, he's single. And I'm like having like this, like, hung-in-cheek thing of like kind of alluding to me and Akash having sex, even though I actually fell in Pilates. So the whole thing was taken out of contact. Sorry, bro. I never said I had strong dick.

This is really, if anything, farming for me. That's fair. But did that make more sense, like, to the context? Yes, of course. But at the same time, the issue is always like... People's perception. Yeah, the perception. I think the big disconnect with you is like... And also, there's a version with both of you. Is it...

You guys are so fucking innocent. because you've never been with anybody. So when you say weird sexual things, you think it's absurd. Yeah. But you are unique in your innocence with each other. I think that was the mistake I made is like thinking that people would understand that. They will not.

Yeah, they won't. Because the immediate reaction to anybody like who's had, because Alex and I, Mark is more similar to you guys. And let, you know, he's been with his wife, right? So it's like, whereas Alex and I have, you know, we've had other chicks and like our, you know, wives of that as well. And then we got to think about that a little bit. Yeah.

Wait, what? Yes, yes, yes. We were horse, yes, exactly. Yeah, come on. All the horrors are. Come on. But, like, so then we're, there is a part of us probably comparing and feeling insecure and maybe feeling potentially inadequate. Yeah.

Right? So that runs through our minds where you guys have been with nobody so you can feel confident being. Yeah, and I think, to be fair, to everyone, there was a time in our relationship where I would have been more insecure, but when, when like she's essentially homeless with me and didn't go anywhere and stayed right by my side, I think the jokes don't bother me because it's like, when you're broke as fuck, you see exactly who a person really is. Like, I've seen her at her core, good, bad, all of it. So I know who she is enough that none of these things are going to, I'm ever going to take

seriously because I've seen her, we've been at the absolute bot. She's seen me on my absolute worst. So if I make these jokes, if I call her a bitch or whatever, she's like, I know this. Like, at our absolute worst, we still love each other. We still say it by each other's side. So I think that's what I didn't realize also. And I didn't think I was nearly famous enough to become a meme. Yeah, I was wrong.

That is beautiful. Now, with your guy's relationship, like, neither of you come from these, like, loving marriages, right? Is it cool to experience love? Is it what you think of when you see in movies? Yeah. What is that? I'm curious what that's like, you know? I was very privileged, like my parents were really in love with each other.

And that was kind of my expectation. You guys discovered it for the first time. Yeah. It's so funny because I was literally talking to my therapist. And I think I was kind of getting tearful because I was thinking about my mom and everything that she went through in her marriage, which obviously wasn't great. And like just immigrating to this country with like two little girls and like just so many things that she had to go through that I was like, I feel so bad that she had to live this life.

But now I get to live this like beautiful, luxurious, glamorous life with this guy who like, treats me like a princess and then my therapist was like yeah but in a way it's so beautiful because you're kind of living like her American dream wow so it's like I really and I really think that for Akash too because I know that my mother-in-law was also in a similar kind of situation and I feel like for us we really got so you know lucky to like find each other and find our like soulmates in each other I wish that my mom who's like the most amazing lady in the world could have experience that and maybe you know she'll kind of experience that like later in this chapter but yeah oh it's beautiful it is it's your what your parents sacrifice so you guys can have this kind

of stuff you know and and i truly like again i think that's it she actually realized it faster than i did but now i'm like oh that's my soulmate so again the jokes don't bother me i know what's happening and go buy the bad i like encourage her to buy stuff early on because i remember you got cut that shit i know that maybe but early on and you didn't go through this chill out chill out broke with your girl and not being able to buy her anything is so fucking emasculating that when we started making a little bit we say for years tell these guys are completely yeah yeah yeah and when she she was like i don't know if we can afford this we can afford this i'm like no i promise we're safe she was more anxious for a long time i was

like no this is like i think even therapeutic for you for us like go spend that we'd almost like teach me like a little bit of exposure therapy i mean now probably not but like at the beginning Yeah, it's probably like, oh, it teaches your brain, like, okay, this is safe. I can do this activity, like, just like how posting on TikTok was and like whatever else, but I mean, now. But it is interesting that you're going to have a different relationship, you know, to the money that Akash makes when you guys were locked in before you had anything. Yeah.

You know, and you will feel more part of that journey with him. Yeah. Than, like, if Akash is this fucking multimillionaire and then he, like, finds you, and then you have that attitude. But what the internet just sees is a completely different picture which is like, okay, he's got this beautiful girl and she's like buying bags

and that's what the thing is. No, optically it makes sense that she would be a gold thigger. He's much hotter than me. No, stop saying that. You're fine, bro. You're the prize. I look decent with a shirt on.

We just said, we don't get it. Anyway, listen. In the interest of turning all the stones, can you just spell a rumor? I heard a narrative online that you guys were together and then you took a break for like two years and then when he started making money

you came back. Can you dispel this? No, we took a break for like a month or two months. After I started making money, post-Patri-on. What an idiot. He had a different confidence when he was raised. Yeah, he was telling you to shut up more. No, I get 12 shut the fuck-ups

a year. Oh, that's the rule? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great deal. I got eight left. Happy holidays. All right. I feel like we done a pretty good job here. Listen, we love you guys. I mean, obviously what, you know, what happened. But I hope everybody who watch, I mean, the internet is going to do whatever the fuck the internet wants to do. But I hope if anybody actually does watch, they get a better idea of, you know, your guy's relationship. But I hope you go moving forward, you understand how different your guy's relationship is for most people. And like, sometimes the reaction they have,

not every reaction is, oh, they're completely off. They're just reflecting what they would be in a relationship and going, oh, I would feel uncomfortable. experience and our experience is abnormal some guys are bad actors obviously and then some people are going what the hell is going on with this like i love akash like what is happening yeah and uh but yeah i'm stoked that you guys got to come on and uh you know i hope you i wish you well i'm betting on you staying together oh really yeah so for 2027 i got money on that i'm gonna throw that what are the odds what are the eyes right anyway thank you so much for coming jessland love you guys so much oh thank you thank you guys let's take a break for a second you need to take care of your skin

Okay, it's winter, you're getting dry, you're getting ashy, even if it's summer, even if you're down under, your under eyes are darker. You get wrinkles. You generally just look like shit. It's because we don't take care of our skin, fellas. We just think our skin's going to be totally fine. We don't think it impacts anything in our life. And that's not the case. And that's why you need Caldera Labs, okay? They put together skincare for men in a simple package. It's a four-step process that takes care of everything you need to look better you wash your face you put on three products you're done that's it your face is less puffy your under eyes they look better your face won't wrinkle nearly as quickly this is a no brainer let them handle what you need to look your best okay so look better and feel better go to caldera lab dot com slash flagrant and use the code flagrant for 20% off your first order let's get back to the show all right guys let's take a break for a second all right there's a lot of brands out there drop in holiday fluff. Black rifle coffees

drop in holiday fire power. They're ending 2025 the only way they know how loud, bold American, whether you're gifting, your gym buddy or a host a house full of reloaders,

black rifle coffees got your back with roasts like atomic llama. Let's go. An explosive blend, the brown sugar and cinnamon that slaps harder than your uncle's conspiracy theories. Want something classic? Grab wake in the neighbors.

Just black or beyond black. That sounds like a porn category. That's amazing. These timeless classics will caffeinate your day and push you like Washington, push the Continental Army across the Delaware on Christmas morning. Yes. But black rival coffee is not just selling caffeine. They're powering into America's 250th birthday with a mission.

that actually means something. Every bag supports a company that backs our veterans, fuels hard chargers, and believes this country is still worth fighting for. The same spirit that lived in Washington lives on today. So join the mission and pick up some Black Rifle Coffee today. Use the code flagrant at black rifle coffee.com for 30% off or find it in store at Walmart, Target, Kroger, Black Rifle Coffee,

veteran founded, American roasted. This is America's Coffee. Now let's get back to the show. Listen. Hand jobs. Yeah. You have an absolute permission slip to do this. Yeah, yeah, I think I do.

You know something else that's funny? Some of your wife's lip glosses on your ear, which means she ducked the fuck out of the kiss. In the elevator? No, that's when I ducked the kiss. Oh, that's when you ducked it. That's my boy. We'll play no fucking games.

We back. You didn't. tell you you were going to do that shit, huh? Nope. Because she was surprised. She's like, I shouldn't do that anymore. There you go. Listen, Lauren. What was I going to say?

Oh, yeah, so she literally said you can just do it. And she seemed quite serious, like she was remorseful for what you've been put through. What she put me through? Yeah, yeah. No, I got to use this now. Yes. Let's line up. Patrons. Let me know a good spot. Yes. This is a public episode,

right? And public, let me know a good spot. Y'all heard her. It don't matter. We were talking about this. I didn't say where. Right? Yeah, I think I want to go to a place where it's legal because I assume the women will not be just old and Asian. Yep.

Nah, nah, nah. I mean, well, what do you want? Do you want the best one or you want the hottest girl? Yeah, this is actually an interesting. I need that Venn diagram crossover. You want a girl that's hot enough, but she's incredible at this skill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Wait, well, are you going eyes open or eyes close?

But it depends. Yeah, if they're Asian. Or wait, what was the, yeah? Wait, what is eyes closed the whole time? You're blindfold? You're like, when I... You're like, fall asleep and there's not in the bottom of your chin. When I'm getting a massage

It's like I'm eyes closed The whole massage And now it's just an extra part of the massage No they turn you over halfway through I still go eyes close I don't open my eyes You go like this looking up the whole time Yeah yeah yeah that's a good point

But also if a girl's jerking you off Do you look directly into her eyes? I think it depends on how she looks Right if she's attractive I'm soaking this up Do you ask for her attention Do you like Are you like

No no no you got to focus I'm looking at you I'm an Indian guy But it's staring Yeah So you just laser beam the side of her head Yeah

I've heard that the older pros are actually better Of course You've heard? I feel like they'd have less We've heard this rope I have a friend who's a connoisseur He goes on What is it?

Tug maps and he knows all the places He knows all the Why he's like a mile's very quick He lives in a specific neighborhood Because they're closer to the things Really? Yes This is a close front of mine

Put us on a group text I will. How close? You got close? Do I know him? No, you don't know him. You might have met him in passing, but I don't think you know him. He goes to the coffee shot?

Nah. I wish, y'all. I'd be there more, more. But he's got the spot. He's got the spot. Apparently, the pros are professional. Really? Oh, yeah.

You won't last more than seven seconds. Yeah. So, like, normal. We had a friend in college do this, and he bet he could last, like, more than 45 seconds or whatever it was. Yeah, we challenge each other to a duel. We paid for him to go get a rub and tug, and he went and got the rub and tug and came out defeated. He was like, how long? He said it was under a minute, like easily.

It was just magic. We did the over under on a minute. We had the, we had the cowsie spread. We had the whole thing. Do they massage you first? I'm not, I'm too Indian to just get a hand job. I need a massage, a good massage. It's all inclusive.

Oh, that's nice. It's all inclusive. But like from start of hand to the end of job was under. If you had to go through these last three weeks, you wouldn't be jealous. Oh, yeah. It's all good, dude. Let's just see after the massage how you feel. Okay, maybe it's worth it.

You get on the milking table, you get on the milking table, dude, you're fucking out of here. All of a sudden, you'll be like, you know what, it was all, it was all worth it. Oh, man. Your boy got milk, dude. Okay. I like this shit. This is awesome. He got glaze.

Yo, stop glazing me, bro. Stop fucking glazing me. I'm tired. I'm tired. From the top, go ahead. Your hand, the way you use the glasses as a prop is excellent. Oh, I, the snap. It's the snap.

Yeah. Yeah, like, it's, yeah. Yeah, it's fold this one in, and you like... And you point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. My old teacher did that. You practiced this shit in the mirror.

I've just seen it. You know, he had old practice in this shit. I remember he was YouTube and I play NBA, yeah. I was fucking nerd. My wife's knocking on the door. I'm like, I ain't ten minutes. I'm shitting. I'm on the bidet.

Trying to get in character, okay? Doing tricks on it. Sideways. You have the, a bidet middle? Yes. Yeah, I do. We're all bidetis except for you. I'm trying to get that Toto that automatically opens and closes.

I like that rough white, man. You have it. I like a rough white. Not at the new crib. You are what you wipe your ass with. Yeah, for real, man. I like a rough white. Like, I want to feel that shit bunch up. He'll send me wiping memes and the shit, I don't even understand the joke. He sent us a picture of him shitting his band.

Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, that was a lot. Yeah, what the fuck was that? It's a group chat. What in the ever fuck was that, living? So get the picture up. No. No, we're not putting the people through this.

It's like last week... You crossed the line with that. Last week at the cellar, right? Two weeks ago at the cellar. I come out of... There's a room called the lounge at the fat black pussy cat. The lounge. I come out of that room and I do a signature public fart display.

On stage. Opening joke. I walk out of this door. Now I'm in like this little vestibule with the security guards and everybody. like that. And I walk out and I spread my legs like this and I do a fart and I go, br-ha-ha-ha-h. And then the end it goes

p-pap. And I go, oh, I was weird. Right? And everybody like heard the fart. Some people grossed out. Some people laugh, whatever like that. I go on stage. Everyone was grossed out. I go on stage and I'm like, ooh, my ass feels cold for some reason. And I'm like, oh, no.

I must have shit myself with water. and now I'm feeling the water getting cold, it's not water. Well, it's doo-doo at the time. Liquid. At the time. Liquid.

It turns into water later. Turn into more of like an acrylic paint. I go downstairs before my next spy. It was at the VU, the Village Underground, and I go to the bathroom. I take off my jeans. I take off my underwear. And there is just like a paste of shit,

like a bobber off. I can't even see that shit. Turn that off. When you put that in a group, I was like, nah, this is too much. This is my challengers. Like, this is bad. Yeah, dude.

This is my challenge. Look at the color of it, though. It's a really fascinating color. It is. Did you need a crayon? Like, why is it that? It does have that look to it. Look, God.

The Zoom in was unnecessary. The Zoom in was a lot. So I just threw those underwear in the garbage in the bathroom. Yeah. And then I just kept on doing my shows, like a real soldier. You about to throw up? Yeah, actually, it was like, this is pulling on my Adam's apple. And I would fuck.

Wait, wait, what would you do if you were in my situation? to do that. No, not tell anyone. You weren't here. We had this conversation. Take it off. On Patreon, I was like, I almost shit my pants right before I got on stage, and luckily I checked my boxers and they were fine, but I was like, you have to bring an extra pair every time you go on stage.

That needs to be part of my writer. But you wouldn't text it to the fucking group. Why not? Why would not? Why would not share that? It's a funny thing. You can poop your pants a little bit? You can tell us in description. Can I be honest that you having like girls on a group chat makes me hesitant to throw shit out there

I respect for the girls here like we have girls at work with us and I feel uncomfortable to send a picture of shit in my drawers to you guys where if it was literally the four or five of us in this room six of us sorry Joey I would have definitely shared it

you still shared it yeah you still yeah but I did it like out of spite of myself I can see you You're trying to bring joy to the group chat You're like, you know, we've been through a lot Yeah, I want it to lighten the load Let me cheer everyone up

Yo, the emotional swing of farting That turns into a shit Is one of the funniest things in the world Because you're so happy farting And then the second it turns to shit It sends a chill into it down my spine The sound it went It was an old fart

And then the end it went pat pat And I was like, I never farted pap pap I remember the first time I started I was trying to fart and, like, brag and, like, be funny about it. And then when I shit, I, the horror. What just happened? This is unrefined. Oh, my God.

We shouldn't be speaking like this. Oh, God. I mean, yeah, you're right, you know. Shouldn't be sharing these things with you? Yeah. Did a whole set shit on my ass. All right. So, how was your Thanksgiving, though?

Man, you want to see some shit? Whole Thanksgiving. Shit on his ass. Did I, I didn't send this to the group yet, right? How long until you showered when you went home? I ain't show. I got right into bed. God.

You're lying. I got right into bed. You're lying. My wife. Bro. I got right into bed. My wife doesn't even know. My wife found my jeans in the morning.

It had shit right through the fucking jeans. Somehow the dude who passed through the barrier. There was a membrane that passed directly through and there was a shit sitting inside of the inside of the jeans. It's the liquid that goes through to the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. So the less molecular side. I don't even like.

Mark's fucking posse. You'll judge me. You're going to judge me. That judgment does feel worse. Yeah. Fuck you. Try to be vulnerable. I'm trying to be vulnerable.

I'm trying to be venerable. I'm trying to be venerable. How was your thanks, Gip? Dude, it was great. It was me, my mom, my whole wife. We just had a blast. Has anybody stopped y'all in the street? No, people haven't brought it up.

So maybe out of kindness. But I asked that shows, I said, is there anybody that does not? because I would open by being like, so my wife's a whore, huh? And it would get a laugh. And then I would say, is there anybody who doesn't know about this?

Yeah. Because the first time I did it, it was like weird, the vibe. And then after that, I was like, who doesn't know? And so many people would clap, I'd be astonished. Yeah, it is weird, you know.

But, yeah. I mean, it's a very real thing. But outside of the internet, I don't know how many people it caught their algorithm. Yeah, it's like if you are a person that is on the internet, this is big enough where you know about it.

Yeah. But if you're not an internet person, it's not like it's covered and fucking CBS lose or some shit. Like my best friends still have no idea. Right. Yeah. Nah, they know.

They just be nice. Well, you met Gerald. He's like kind of autistic and is not online that much. And Peter's also does not online that much. So they just don't know. I remember when you text me that, you're like, I don't know.

It's like, I asked the crowd, like half of them kind of didn't know. And I think I texted you something back like, they know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They know. This one they know. No, but I got to thank you

because you definitely saved my Thanksgiving. Because the moment I walked through the door, yo, what's up, uh? Yeah. You know, for real, it was a lot of conversations for about three. Yeah, it was the first Thanksgiving.

It was the first Thanksgiving, we didn't end an argument. Really? Yeah, y'all did the fighting for us. Yeah, yeah, you did a real public service. You did the real public service. People love relationship drama, man. It is true. Like, anytime you start talking about it, it's just...

It's salacious. It's the most, like, important thing. That is true. The highest stakes thing, especially marriage. And it's so relatable. Yeah. And it's reflective. Yeah, you're watching it.

You're like, is this, is this our relationship? Is this me? Like, anytime people see videos. You're like, I do not want that. Yeah, they're like, this is me, this is reflection on me, da-da-da. So it's all projection. Yeah. That's how it goes.

Have you been, like, stern with your wife more now? So she don't buy the hype on the internet? What, the hype that she's a golden whore? No, that you're a simp or whatever. No, no, no. We both stayed offline because we knew this wasn't going to be good to watch. So we were both offline. That was the one good thing.

Isn't it scary, though, when you're just getting these texts? Like, hope you're okay. So it's better to not see it, but then every time someone texts me, I'd be like, this caught your fucking algorithm? What's going on? How big is this? I have my, like, D.C. cousins who are, like, older and, like, adults. And, like, they hit me.

They're like, what is going on? They were angry. Jasseline, bro. They were pissed because they love you. Yeah, yeah. They love you. Yeah. And they're like, yo, no, he goes, how do we kill her?

so you're not going to divorce and take half her money that's off the table no no sadly no i thought about it because she's such a liar i'm a divorce her to take half my money yeah yeah dude she's such a liar though i was just stupid to know for 10 years never bothered just asking yeah yeah so what can you do guys that's the episode okay there's nothing else important to talk about the internet has been consumed with one story for the last few weeks and it is Akash Singh and Justine Singh And hopefully we brought

Some more color to that conversation And hopefully you guys had some fun Getting to know them And also thank you guys so much for 2 million subs Oh hell yeah You almost got divorced But we were able to reach a number That we've been trying to get you for a while

So we're very excited about that It all worked out Yeah, it all work out man So thank you guys so much for tuning in We love y'all We appreciate y'all We're going to do Patreon I'm going to talk about what happened this week on Patreon

So come over there and hang with us on Patreon. Patreon.com slash flagrant We'll see you next week. Peace. Yeah, bless. You know, listen, that shit was bonkers, bro. It was interesting, hilarious, honestly. Basically, black people crazy, but I don't get white people.

No brain, straight no brain, a lot of cave. Man, I got everything. If you want to find me, make sure you type in Y-O-U-K-N-W-K-E-R out of all platforms. It's your boy, you know, and now you know. What's going on y'all? If y'all want to follow me on Instagram, it is Midget, M-I-D-G-E-T-U-T-U-E-U-E-U-N-Score and any other platform, just type in M-J-A-J-J-O, and you're going to see this lovely face. So definitely follow your boy, follow back.