Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - The Pill That Makes Men Faithful

Episode Date: November 19, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: forgetting how to do math, the first gay act in history, Disney+ taking over the streaming world, Myles Garrett making a hit at the Steelers game, the first time man ate p*ssy, Colin Kaepernick working out in front of the press, the flagrant thoughts of the week, and much more. INDULGE!!! Want an extra episode every week? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2

What's up everybody? Welcome to Flavor 2 No Easy Buckets. This episode is brought to you by something very near and dear to my heart, Full Sack. Now, Full Sack, for those of you who don't know, new listeners out here, Full Sack is basically just going to give you more sperm. basically just going to give you more sperm it's a completely natural supplement but it's going to fill up that sperm or fill up your balls rather so you can have those points are busts now why is this important i'll tell you why it's important for me in my life because i'm on the road a lot okay i'm away from my girl a lot and the way that she knows that i've been faithful is... Real vets will tell you, bro. She'll know. Is by volume. Okay?

Volume is very important. Okay? So when FOSAC came in the game... Like, listen, I'm 36. I don't got the volume I used to have. All right? My hair and my sperm is thinning. Okay?

Son, samesies. Bro, sometimes I'll be looking at my girl's back like, what happened to you? What's wrong with you, bro? You used to be the best. It's like an ice cream cone started to melt on her. That's it. Like, you started. Like, the first couple drops.

I'll be looking at her back like it's a morning dew. Is it the first day of spring? Are some icicles melting? What's happening over here? Like a white chocolate Hershey's kiss. Oh, God. So, full sack

make you feel like a man in command with those balls that are producing tons and tons of cum. Empty the clip. Empty the clip. Full sec. That'd be perfect.

My shit look like George Washington's gun. You know that single one with a bullet? Not even a musket, it's just a little handgun with one single bullet. Stuff the gun with a fucking stick. My shit is a BB gun. I'm out here killing squirrels with mine.

Anyway, guys, if y'all want to get full sack, you just gotta go to fullsack.net. That's F-O-L-S-A-C dot net. F-O-L-S-A-C dot net. F-O-L-S-A-C.net. Use our coupon code FLAGRANT. All right? You get 20% off.

Imagine getting 50% more sperm but 20% off. Look at that fucking deal. Look at that bargain. Mathematically, you're up 30%. I don't even know if that's true, but I believe you, bro. I believe it, too. I believe all the math on this side of the table. We had one clip go out. I think it was a Patreon clip where the math on this side of the table. We had one clip go out.

I think it was a Patreon clip where the majority of the comments on the YouTube were about Akash's accuracy of math in the moment. Yes! Fuck yeah! You know what I'm talking about? He was like, we said something. It was like, yeah, that's like 30% of 85. And he was like, yeah, like 16 and a half people. And then I was like, I thought you were just throwing numbers out.

And motherfuckers were like, nah, it's really 16 and a half. Our guy's about this Indian math life, bro. So it was effortless the way you did that. I be pop quizzing myself when I'm alone. Swear to God. No way. The situation presents itself. I gotta come correct.

And I fuck up sometimes. And it's the most embarrassing thing internally. I'm shamed yeah cuz I'm like I let all of us down son I forgot a piece of math the other day I forgot a piece of math the other day. I forgot a piece of math. I had to calculate. I was trying to calculate the percentage of a percentage. This is going to sound convoluted and confusing. But essentially it was like. I've been doing that shit.

Discounts. Yeah. And I was trying to find What the full amount would be Right Like I was receiving You know I think Maybe it was like

85X Okay Right I'm fucking this whole thing up Point is I forgot a whole thing of math Yeah So what you got like a 60% discount

And you were trying to see What the original price was Yeah maybe that was it Maybe it was Let's just say that was it. Something to the extent, right? I just don't want to share money. Right. You know what it is?

I thought the YouTube comment had you self-conscious for a second. Like, I can't fuck this number up again. Yo, maybe. Maybe I'm in my feelings. But essentially, I'm sitting there like, how do I find the actual amount? Like, what do I got to divide, whatever? And I literally am in my local eatery, if you will, and I just got frustrated, and I just said to the waiter,

I was like, can you give me a pen and paper? Because I couldn't do it just with the calculator. I had to write it out to do it. And even then I couldn't. And then I bring the waiter over, and I'm like, can you tell me what the full amount was? And he tries to go do it, and he comes up with a crazy number. I'm like, this is why you're a waiter, bro.

So you deserve to be here, son. I'm looking at him like, how can you not even do math? Lo and behold, I can't even do the math. I'm like, motherfucker, you should know this shit. Finally, I figured it out after texting my girl. But like, how scary is that? I understand you learn like the xylophone when you're a kid,

and then you forget those skills. You learn like the piano guitar. But math, bro? Son, we don't do it. Yeah. But can that go away, math? You really do it in real life. It's like anything, man.

Like when you first ride a bike, you don't automatically probably just start pedaling. You're probably stumbling at first. But I could always ride a bike forever. Even if it takes you a while, though. Like it's not like I try to ride a bike tomorrow and i just keep falling off to the side like damn bro it's been a few years since i rode a bike you know that's the fun thing about math though like it it speaks all languages like don't matter if you're old young fucking speak french italian whatever like math is just fucking math and it never changes i used to i used to i used to

like heckle my teacher yeah i had a math teacher it was changes I used to I used to I used to Like heckle my teacher Yeah I had a math teacher It was the only class That I would get A's in Because it wasn't Personality based Uh huh

Right Cause every other class Is about your personality Your penmanship All this kind of shit But math I used to shit on my teacher Before the test

It was me and Carlos This Dominican kid right And before the test We'd look the teacher in the eyes And be like yo i'm about to body your test talking the most shit going through the test just going through a test like hundred we just yell out what the scores we were gonna get oh man i was the complete fucking opposite you couldn't do math no just like school in general like i was good in school anything anything that had to do with like words. Bro, you might be Sudanese or some other African, bro. Nah, I was just like really good in like, people say I was a good bullshitter, but I

was just really good with words. You are a good bullshitter. I ain't seen not one Cape Verdean out there in Boston. Oh, fuck. Alex taking you to task, yo. We in Boston. Last episode. Last episode.

Was it Patreon? I was holding that the whole time. He didn't say shit to me since he walked in. He was quiet the whole false ad read. He was just holding on to this. You really felt a way about that. No, because it just connected. He said, I've been full of bullshit.

And I'm like, you did bullshit. I said that. I looked at the Patreon comments, looked at the Discord, looked everywhere, everywhere. I was rapping from Cape Verde. Cass said there's a lot of Cape Verdeans in Boston. So we were in Boston doing shows this weekend. On the lowest of keys.

On the lowest of keys. Lowest, lowest, lowest of keys. He kept saying lowest of keys. Okay, he said low key. There's tons, right? Alex was asking every Indian, Pakistani, Portuguese, Puerto Rican. Anybody with a tan. Anybody tan, he was asking if they were Cape Verdean.

Yeah. Right? Not a single Cape Verdean to be seen. It's not a tan thing. Did you go looking for Amber Rose and shit? I asked anybody who wasn't pale.

Okay. He asked anybody who was ethnic. They're all pale as fuck up there. So I gave you every spectrum of a chance. Did you go to Lawrence? I mean, you're in Boston.

You're with the white folks. I thought you said they were in Boston. Yeah, but when you're in Boston, I'm sure you're in the mix. I know, right? It ain't bullshit, yo. Cape Verdeans run New England, bro.

Just because they're running to them doesn't mean I was bullshitting. He's probably too busy looking for white bitches. No, I was looking for the Cape Verdeans. The one time he tries to not fuck a white bitch, you completely lie to him and trail road his whole shit. Yup, and he's going to blame a black man like he always does. He's already blamed himself already blamed himself on the inside yo so so here's the thing we're driving up to boston right we first went to connecticut to do this show in

norwalk that was shit oh that was a whole different thing but we uh shout to emilio from new york comedy club and the connecticut comedy festival y'all should go check that out but we did this the norwalk uh no the wall Wall Street Theater, Norwalk, Connecticut, beautiful theater. It was great. So we decided to drive from Connecticut to Boston instead of either

staying the night there or just coming back. Smart move. And we got the Tesla. Yeah, you do. So, and by we,

Alex got the Tesla, right? You know, because of the generous employer. But Alex got the Tesla, you know? And, now this is my first time in the Tesla on the highway, right? Because on the Tesla on the highway,

you could do autopilot. It's called autopilot, Al? Yeah. Oh, you did that shit? Okay. When I tell you that we were passed out asleep for minimum 30 minutes, all of us, I'm being a hunter.

Son? That's terrifying. Son. That's terrifying, yo. It was not terrifying until the next day when we ran into some orange cones, basically. We didn't run into the cones, son. Son, we are six inches away from the cones and he takes off all the pilot and scoots out the way. Tesla wasn't going to get out the way.

We don't know that. That's his excuse. He's like, well, we should have hit him and then we find out. I don't trust that. So we could have been dead. Y'all all asleep at the same time while she was driving? Alex was snoring. I have a video

of Alex snoring while driving the car, right? And then I was like... And you didn't wake him up. Son, I was getting that video, bro. Son, yo, that's that millennial of you to be like, yo, we might die. Get out the camcorder. Let's go to, like, left eye. Bro. Aww.

Come on, bro. We're friends, though. That is a of AIDS, though. Nah, bro. She died in the car crash. She died because she got no aid. This bitch just slid down the side of a cliff and ain't nobody come get her. I thought she died of AIDS, bro. Someone tell me she was in a forest. No, I know.

I confuse those little black rappers all the time, bro. I get that mixed up. That's their own little black rapper. No, someone told me she was in a forest looking for AIDS medication. No, no. She was fucking with that doctor. Dr. Sebi. She's a big proponent of his or whatever.

She was making a documentary. You guys have seen this, right? Last Day's the Left Eye? He's wild. You see her. You see the last moments she's alive. Oh, shit. Yeah, like the shit fucking chips over.

Dr. Sebi might be the greatest manipulator in history. That motherfucker looked at people with AIDS and was like, yo, just eat carrots. Yo, all you got to do is eat carrots and then you're going to get rid of that AIDS. All these gay dudes are like, I've been eating carrots for so long. No, but they probably weren't biting them. They were probably just

stuffing them in the middle of the AIDS. Over and over. You chew the carrot? I'd just be swallowing that joint. I'd take the green part first. Yo, carrot is the only vegetable that got pubes. That's why they love that shit so much.

Nah, turnips got pubes, right? Pineapples, yo. Pineapples and kiwis got pubes, though. Pineapples, bro. Kiwi's more of a pube than a pineapple. I've been at this thought. Imagine how hungry a motherfucker needs to be To eat a pineapple

Yo that's a wild thing Like son The outside of a pineapple It's armor It's straight armor Look like Kaz's feet Nothing That's what Kaz's feet

Look like bro Nothing about this Look delicious At first glance But you cut that bitch open Yo What the fuck happened It's like a pussy

In a lot of ways Like the outside Be looking crazy Top exterior. But you get in there, you're like, oh, that's kind of sweet. You're not even worried about no unkempt pubes anymore. You just, mmm. Enjoy the juiciness.

That's why it took us so long to get down there as men. We were just like, this ain't edible. The first dude to eat pussy, bro. Real talk, when do you think pussy started getting eaten? Because we didn't have running water in Sutter, Roman. Motherfuckers was eating pussy out the river? You eating river water pussy? You out here eating river water pussy like in the Nile.

Nile pussy? Oh, sea salt ass pussy. Oh, sea salt ass pussy? Son, you gotta. Oh, see, so bad. Pussy? Just a little sushi? Son, you gotta be crazy, bro. Just a little sushi. Yo, you think this is how you got the idea of sushi? Honestly, this shit kind of slips. A little soy sauce? Bro, there you go.

Yo, that's why sushi's always served in twos. It always picks. Oh, man. No, but real talk, the bravery that human beings must have had. It's just It's just lips And now he's pink Oh man No but real talk The bravery That human beings Must have had Imagine that

Tigris Euphrates Who's more scared Say what Who's more scared The first person to eat A pineapple Or the first person To eat a pussy

Wait a minute The first person to eat A pineapple Or the first person To eat a pussy Who's the first Who's more scared Who's more like

Yo I don't know about this The first person Think about it Eat pussy Guaranteed First person to eat a pussy. Who was the first? Who was more like, yo, I don't know about this. The first person. Think about it. Eat pussy. First person to eat pussy is like, yo, I got to think about your feelings now.

Because here's the thing. You know, the first man wasn't caring about pleasing the woman. They were just reproduce. Yeah, that's brand new. Reproduce.

Reproduce. Yeah, like. Yo, real talk. Real talk. We talking history. Yeah. Asking is pretty goddamn huge. It's the right thing to do.

It's just also a pretty recent phenomenon. That shit is like Cole waiting. When we walk up into heaven, bro, when we go into heaven and we got our answers out there, like, you was asking permission? You permission? What? That's what Black Panther's father should have said to his dad. You know the movie when the elders are up in the class?

They're like, fuck that pussy already, Black Panther. What you waiting for? Real talk, ain't a lot of asking in the animal kingdom. No, no, no, no. Pussy was being. Ain't a lot of first dates for lions. So out of me too. They always say that on the ticket.

Oh, me too. What? The ticket always says that there's so much me too in the animal kingdom. There's no fucking. Son, nature's mad sexist. That's really not on us. We get a lot of pressure for that kind of shit, but if you see how animals are, bro, except for birds.

Birds are pussy, bro. Birds are mad pussy, bro. Birds are mad pussy, bro. Oh, feminist ass. They they really one mate for your whole life nah but birds do that thing that's what jessa was talking about what is it called fucking no oh scissoring not scissoring oh oh yeah yeah that's because they don't got hands that's that's their hands is their mouth so what do you think they're going to do? They're going to take their wing And grab some peanuts under their wing

And fly one handed They got little clawy things They can't just like drop it in Oh shit I never even thought about that You could just You could just use your claws Yeah like they can't just fucking fly over No but the baby don't got the teeth to chew it I don't think

No birds got teeth Babies need Gerber Right like human babies need Gerber You gotta match it up I think baby birds But that's because they don't have teeth human babies need Gerber, right? Like human babies need Gerber. You gotta match it up. That's because they don't have teeth, human babies, but no birds have teeth. They just have a beak. Nah, birds got teeth, right? Like ducks got teeth.

Ducks ain't got no fucking teeth, Akash. I'm pretty sure ducks got teeth. Look that up. Look that up, yo. I don't want to go against Akash. Ducks have teeth, did you just say? Look that up. Donald Duck don't even have teeth. Boom, teeth. That's not teeth. Those aren't teeth, son. just say? Look that up. Donald Duck don't even have teeth. Boom, teeth. That's not teeth.

Those aren't teeth, son. How the fuck are those not teeth? Those are teeth. Son. How that's not teeth? I see mad crackheads with that. They got teeth. That's not teeth.

Yo, I'm not going to lie. They got four rows of teeth. Nah, that's teeth, bro. They even got teeth on the tongue. There's teeth on the teeth. And I'll be honest, I didn't even know that. I did not know that. Is that a duck?

That's a duck. This is fucking terrifying. Is that a duck? That's a duck, yo. This is fucking terrifying. Is that a duck? I had no idea. Apparently, that shit's a sharp tooth. Get that shit out of here, B. That's crazy. Apparently, a duck can bite you and fuck you up.

Really? Apparently, they're sharp, yeah. Yo, if you get fucked up by a duck. They look fucking sharp. Yo, you gotta move. You gotta move neighborhoods, bro. You heard Sam got fucked up by a duck? You in the hospital, laid up in ICU.

Like, what took you out, man? Daffy. Took a chop out of me. Anyway, wait. What were we talking about? We were talking about me too. Taking pussy.

Oh, what happened first? Who was more scared? Oh, who was more scared? First person to eat a pineapple, first person to eat a pussy. Oh, it's got to be pussy because think about all the things that you're going through

with pussy, right? Like, one, they don't know that the menstrual cycle is tied to the moon, right? Like, one, they don't know that the menstrual cycle is, like, tied to, like, the moon, right? We're talking about primitive man.

Yeah. So you're just seeing these bitches bleed out their pussy once a month. Word. Right? So it's, like, for days. For days.

And low-key, you're probably, like, you're probably just thinking, like, damn, yo, Ralph fucked her up. Like, Ralph got the hammer. Like, matter of fact, you probably didn't think you fucked your girl good. I mean, I challenge Ralph for supremacy.

That guy got it. That motherfucker gets harped. Like a Fred Flintstone walks out, sees Barney Rubble, like, damn, Barney, fuck you. But you've been looking at Ralph's soft dick the rest of the day. Like, hey, I guess he's a grower. Because when he's soft, he's regular. When we out hunting, This dick ain't dragging

Across the grass Or nothing like that It's just regular Ralph dick But to play devil's advocate A pussy can persuade you A pineapple's just sitting there Like this No but here's what I'm saying though

Pineapple I'm sure at that point We had realized Sometimes there's food Inside of shit Like coconuts Pineapple Other fruit

That you gotta peel Fam Coconut's different Because coconut falls And opens by accident. And then you're like, what? Yeah, but that probably happened first. That's what I'm saying. And then you're like, yo, you peel this shit open on the inside of this fruit.

So now they're looking at a pineapple like, what if? Some shit's in the coconut. Some shit could be inside of here. Oh, my God. This is kind of like, I forgot who said it. This is like the fucking first guy to get a thousand votes. They're looking at a pussy Like what if

It tastes delicious in there The first person who went down Probably was castrated And did it out of desperation Because they don't got nothing else Probably Ain't no girl fucking a castrated dude Back in the day

Son That If you castrated you It was whack Son what about It's like a horse With a broken leg It's like This man is a broken leg It's like

This man is useless Yo shoot him in the head What about the dude In Game of Thrones Took him out back The dude in Game of Thrones He was still Yo we talking before religion

Varys wasn't getting no pussy No the other dude No Varys was We're talking about The dawn of man The one he was like We talking before clothes We talking back in the day

We talking caveman type shit Like barely organized society Do you know what I mean Like Like a pussy started fire like a week ago? I think Egyptians were probably in person. Oh, I thought that was like I'm a Renaissance I thought that's what the Renaissance was It was just dudes out here licking box. Somebody else. Guys was going, those other guys were like, yo, you'll never believe this shit, bro. Yo, maybe that's why. Women can feel good, too. Maybe that's why Michael Angelo.

And the front is probably like, who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? That's why Da Vinci kept inventing wings and shit. He was like, fly me the fuck out of here. I ain't no more goddamn pussy. them wings and shit. He was like, fly me the fuck out of here. I ain't no more goddamn pussy. That Vitruvian man or whatever that is. What is that thing called?

What is it called? He's a Vitruvian. I don't know what it's called, but that sketch of the guy with his arms out. I was just his lazy ass wife on a bed waiting to get her pussy. You see what I gotta come home to every night, fellas? This shit right here.

This bitch in a perfect circle. This bitch is in a perfect circle. Real talk, bro. That eating pussy shit, man. What about the first guy who ate ass? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. No way. No way.

Because you see how an ass works. Yeah, but that's documented, though. I know it's documented, but like,, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, Yup. That's the first guy. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. He's a great man. It was the first time I did this. What? Stop rewarding me. Wow. No, I got rewarded. Stop rewarding me. You heard the sentence?

I heard the sentence. Great sentence. Stop rewarding me. The eating ass, listen, gay guys have been doing that shit forever. That's the thing. When did straights start doing it? I don't know. But we have to acknowledge the role of fucking plumbing in all this.

In terms of exploring your sexuality. Because there are countries right now that they shouldn't be eating pussy or eating ass. Real talk. Yeah. That's a health hazard. You out there in Mozambique?

Son. Eating ass? Son. Eating ass? Son. Son. You know what I mean? Desert ass? You running with zebras and shit all day? And then you're like, I think I'm going to eat some ass.

Fuck, you got to be crazy. Oh, my God. No plumbing, no toilets like that? Son. Yikes. Low keto? That ass might be cleaner because they don't have enough food to shit. That is true.

They're probably- Also, they don't got toilet- Yo, that is... That ass clean, bro. They don't even got no preservatives in their diet. They got nothing... Because there's nothing to preserve. They die as we speak.

They got 20 years max. They got 20, 25 years max. Fruits and berries. Ass probably is cleaning a lot of water, though. No, but they don't because they got no toilet paper. They also be washing their asses Okay So it could be a cleaner ass

Third world ass could be cleaner Third world ass is First world asshole Third world ass Is first world asshole What does that mean I missed it You have a third world country

You in a third world But that asshole clean Like first world The asshole's cleaner Third world ass Could be cleaner It's like Whole Foods ass And they're not

Wiping their ass They're not even using It's from the earth They're not even using toilet paper They're using like cloths Yeah Great water bro No but they're also using Some cloths

That they wash They're using stuff That is biodegradable It's not just hand It goes right back to the earth Son Maybe they use hand I thought it was just water

It might stink a little bit more They all make half a days And shit out there You went to Minnesota right You hung out with What's his name Abdi Yeah And he took you to the Ethiopian spot or whatever Yeah If you use the restroom You went to Minnesota, right? You hung out with, what's his name? Abdi.

Yeah. And he took you to the Ethiopian spot or whatever. Yeah. If you use the restroom, they all got the fucking bucket that you fill up with water and then pour it. It looks like something you garden plants with, and you somehow clean your ass with that after you wipe. That's disgusting. That's what they be doing, though.

I need to keep that shit in Somalia, bro. Kaz, I'm sorry. Kaz, I'm sorry. This is the last time. Somalia, I said Ethiopian. But isn't it crazy that third world asshole is cleaner than Kaz's?

Why is that? Why is that? Remember that from Patreon? With the way he wipes. What are you talking about on Patreon? Oh, you're right. Back to forward?

No. He only wipes twice and moves. I don't look back. Like, once I feel it's drama, all right, that's drama. Yeah, a whole 20-minute conversation. Did you forget that whole conversation? I blocked it out.

Yeah. Most people moved on with their life, Alex. I do remember. Most people listened to it and was like, oh, okay. I apologize for that bitch, though. You decided to break something up from the past, right, and make it present again. I pussied. I pussied out.

I'm fine. Yo, just keep this fucking same energy, bro. I still got, just keep the same energy, Alex. I know. Something is coming. You know it. Oh, you know. I play this revenge game so good. I'mussied. I pussied out. Yo, just keep this fucking same energy, bro. I still got, just keep the same energy. I know, something is coming. You know, oh, you know, I play this revenge game so good. I'm so patient. I'm like a monk.

I love you, Ken. I'm going to get you. It's going to be great. Black love. Don't black love me now, motherfucker. Half-breed. Yeah, half-breed. Hey, man.

Hey, white people are right. If you just let them do their own thing They'll kill each other We figured this shit out years ago I'm like Oh you just found out God damn This weekend was rough That's what the NFL said

They were like Just give him a fucking try And he'll fuck it up Guaranteed Just give it to him He'll find a way He will find a way to fuck it up What a segue

Not even him Everybody Isn't it crazy that like I guarantee. Let's give it to him. He'll find a way. He will find a way to fuck it up. What a segue. Not even him. Isn't it crazy that the black leader right now, the guy fighting for equality and fighting for justice and fighting for sacrifice and all those things, was put there by two white people? Oh, adopted? Yeah. We're everywhere, baby.

I would say so, yes. I think you're, I think you're, there's a leaderboard, yes. I think you guys are in the lead. We're everywhere, baby! I don't think anyone disputes that. That's why you can't actually, that's why white people got to be careful with that guilt shit. Exactly. You're just sitting there overthrowing yourselves.

Mm-hmm. Nah, I'm fucking around. So, what's up, so, all right, do we want to talk talk about this Cap shit, but in a non-serious way, please? I really want to talk about it. I mean, for those who... You know what? You know what? Fuck Cap for taking all the shine away from Lamar Jackson.

Just back off. You got two black quarterbacks that are going to be MVP this year. At least two that are going for MVP. Top four is all black quarterbacks. Top four is all black. It's the greatest time in history for black quarterbacks. And then you got to make this whole fucking,

this whole song and dance about the tryout and I want to bring my receivers. And to be fair, the NFL did give them all white receivers, which I thought was a little biased. But you have to do this whole thing at a high school and you don't want to do it receivers. And to be fair, the NFL did give them all white receivers, which I thought was a little biased. But you have to do this whole thing at a high school, and you don't want to do it. It's like right now, you could either go for it

and do the thing that the NFL had asked to do and prove that you're great and let them put out whatever videos you want along with your videos. Or you could do the PR stunt, which I think there's many levels to this. There's many levels because I heard, well, go, go. I think it was a PR stunt on all accounts. I think it was just a colossal fuck up on the NFL, on Kaepernick's side, like literally

everybody involved. The only people, and in the long run, in the most fucked up way, the only people who truly won was the NFL. They got what they wanted. This dude is never going to be back in the league. He's never going to be back in the league. They got him once. Break down what happened.

All right. Or we don't even break down what happened. Let's just pick it up from the beginning of this year. Once Kaepernick signed that collusion agreement, pretty much saying, like, you know, yes, we'll pay you this amount of money, but you can't say this, you got to say that, to NDA, whatever. I think all hope of him ever being on the team should have been lost right then and there. Because it's like, no matter what, you won that battle,

but the NFL is eventually going to win the war if you want to work for them again. You know what I mean? They're not just going to – you can work with them even if they fuck with you. You can work with the NFL. You're not going to make them all fuck his bow twice. You're not going to make them kiss your ass two times. They already took their L in the beginning of the year. So once the NFL just all of a sudden is like, oh, Saturday we're doing this workout.

No, we can't change it. No, we can't be on a Tuesday. You have reason to believe shit's going to be fishy. So after that, once everything's set up and you've got the 25 teams there, the NFL, which they smartly did, was like, yo, we're going to put, we're going to give you every single opportunity to get you on the team. We're going to leak the news. We're going to put on ESPN.

We're going to have Stephen A. talk about it, say, hey, if he does what's done, if he plays the game, he'll be on the team in two weeks. Don't think that was not planned. Don't think that was just somebody oh, I just heard. Somebody who knew some shit was like, yo, we're going to get him to sign this shit. Because if shit goes wrong, he doesn't get signed, whatever. If he just plays the rest of these

games and doesn't come back, we don't want to take another L. That being said, Caps team is also smart. They saw that provision in the contract. What was the provision? Do you understand this? I don't understand this. So usually, for most combines, whatever. It was a liability waiver.

Yeah. You saw it. They added something to the liability waiver that indemnified, I think the term is. Yeah. So basically, it's the same thing any NFL player will sign. He basically, no, no, no. Allegedly, and we don't know if this is true, but this is what Caps side is saying, is that they and we don't know if this is true, but this is what Cap's side is saying,

is that they added something to the liability waiver. That is true. That said that Cap couldn't sue the NFL for a conspiracy to not hire him. Yeah, if he got injured at the facility, if he stunk it up at the workout and no team signs him. He can't say, oh, they didn't sign me because A, B, C, D, whatever. All this shit. I thought it also said that he can't sue him for past stuff as well. Anything from the end of the collusion to now. The end of the collusion settlement to now.

So anything from February this year to Saturday, anything that happened in between that he can't sign him. That's reasonable. That's completely reasonable. But you can understand why he didn't trust them when it came to the, well, you got to give away your rights thing. Like, what can you sue for once you've already sued and won? Well, if you're Kaepernick, you're like, all right.

There were two things. There were two things, right? There were two things that he was suing for. One he got paid for and another thing that was still unsettled. I don't think he got paid for the collusion to keep him out of the league. I think there was something else that he got paid for. I think he did. I thought they settled on all that.

They just settled for it, and the amount of money, and he got that, and that's that. And that's why I thought he wouldn't play again. But if you're Kaepernick, you totally understand why. Hey, you know what? Nobody knows. And you know why nobody knows? Because Kaepernick won't do a single fucking interview

yeah that's why no one knows this is your fault this is your fucking fault you know I'm pro-Kaep and I really want to see him we've all been pro-Kaep we all want him to get an opportunity

but you're fucking up yourself by not talking go fucking talk tell us what you want tell us what the problems are tell us how we can make things better you talk all this shit like you

you want the media there and the media needs to be important and the media is important to you. But you've never interviewed – taken a single interview about the media. That's the only thing I think he kind of fucked up on. Like I didn't have a problem with him doing the workout at the high school. I didn't have a problem with all that shit. But like guarantee the same people the access you were going to guarantee the NFL. Like if these motherfuckers want to interview you, they want to see where your head's at, they'll just make a statement and dip.

You know what I mean? Like, if you really are serious about playing in the NFL, and that's why I'm thinking, like, okay, like, maybe he's not serious about playing in the NFL. And don't threaten. And he shouldn't want to. He walked in there threatening. He had the Kunta Kinte t-shirt on. But he shouldn't want to. He's like, they've been keeping me out of the league.

Don't be scared. Go tell your owner. It's like, bro, this is the golden platter. This is the opportunity. And if you play well, at bare minimum, it proves collusion. If you play well and everybody sees that you play well, it proves that they're not picking you up for that reason. You gave them an excuse to not give you up with your attitude and politicizing the whole event. But that's where he got his win, though.

By streaming the workout, he proved anybody with two eyes knows, like, okay, this motherfucker should be on the roster. It's not like. Did he? Yes. I've only seen one deep throw, and it's a great deep throw, but it's also one deep throw, no pads, fly route. And it's perfectly thrown, but that's the only highlight I'm seeing cut up. Like, why isn't this guy on a team? I watched the whole workout.

I was home. I saw the link go up. Whatever. I was like, fuck it. I'm going to watch this shit. He looked exactly how he looked before he left. The accuracy isn't crazy, but does he have a cannon? Does he have strength?

Can he move? He looked a little bigger, a little stronger. He's got a little deep throw. It's the only throw I've seen. And that one was messed up. No, no, sorry. His deep passes weren't super accurate, but the ones that they were circulating are the ones that looked really good.

His thing was- That's not great. I think one of the- That's a pick. That's what I'm saying. The deep routes weren't that fucking good. It's potentially complete. That's fine.

It's a good throw. But the thing was, I think what he was worried about was if he signs over all his rights This is the one I'm seeing on Twitter. This is a perfect throw. That's a dime. Yeah, that's a dime. was if he signs over all his rights to the NFL. This is the one I've seen on Twitter. This is a perfect girl.

Yeah, that's a perfect girl. Yeah, that's a dime. But he didn't want the NFL to see footage and be like, and just cut up all his worst shit and send that to everybody. Which is smart. Which is smart. But at the end of the day, the more he's worried about it, it's like, yo, there's just way too much distrust on either side.

He shouldn't want to play in the NFL. The NFL has every right to not want him in the NFL. They're both just too far gone at this point. If a team picks him up, I'd be happy about it. I don't see it happening. But it's just like too much shit has happened in the past three years. I mean, look, I've never played quarterback. I've never done it in high school.

I mean, a little in college, intramural type shit. Throwing a wide open bomb is not the hardest fucking thing in the world. Johnny Manziel's pro day was fantastic. And I'm not, Johnny Manziel got drafted, so I guess you could say so should Cap get signed. But Johnny Manziel flamed out. And I liked Johnny Manziel. He had a fucking terrible, like he had a great pro day. Teddy Bridgewater had a not so great pro day.

He's pretty good. So like these don't tell you shit. It's no line coming at you, no pads. You're just running the fly route. That's all I'm seeing. I 1,000% agree. I 1,000% agree. For example, how easy is throwing that fly route?

Is it akin to just shooting an NBA 3? No, I mean, if you've got a fast receiver, you don't want him to slow down. If he's getting it in stride. He hit one guy in stride. The other two, you don't want to, like, if you got a fast receiver, you don't want him to slow down. If he's getting it in stride. He hit one guy in stride. The other two, he didn't really hit in stride. Well, I guess two out of the three, kind of. But just real quick.

And that's the footage he chose to share. Yeah. And that's. If the footage you chose to share is one where a guy had to do, like, almost a 360 to catch the pass. Yeah. And another one that was decent. And then the bomb. Those are the only three that you could pick out

from the whole workout? That stream isn't what he put out. That was the local NBC channel. So all this shit was out there for everybody. That was his only thing. And I think his whole point, I honestly don't think he was trying to get all that NFL team. When he says, I want transparency, that's what he means.

Yeah, exactly. I think the only thing was he wanted to show people like, hey, I'm not in the league. It's not because of my ability. I think that's the only thing he was trying to prove. I really don't think he was trying to get on the NFL team. It hasn't been proven to me that he has ability from that right there. You just threw a wide open straight pass.

No workout was going to prove that. That's one pass. He was throwing the ball for 40 minutes. But it's hard to say that from any pro day. That's kind of my point. This wasn't going to show us much. One thing you could say, and even the pro cap people showing up, I would have been like, yo, back up.

Because the point for a lot of people that I do think it's like a collusion thing or whatever, but you can also say, look, he's good. He's just not good enough for that side show that he brings. Same thing they said about Tim Tebow. He's a better quarterback than Tebow, but Tebow wasn't remotely controversial. He just brought a sideshow. You just bring a lot of fucking attention. It's just not worth it.

And I love Tebow. I think Tebow won, and that's all that mattered. But, yo, it's a lot of fucking attention, and that's logically the one thing you can't say, ah, no, fuck you. So if I'm Kaepernick, I tell my pro-Kaepernick people, yo, just don't. I appreciate that shit. Watch the stream. And he's also just...

If you want to play. But if you don't want to play... Can I ask a question? So I haven't been keeping up at all with this. We were away, and I didn't, like... And for anybody maybe who doesn't understand who's listening, what was the whole thing? Like, the NFL wanted him to do these drills at their field,

and then he wanted to do these drills at their field, and then he wanted to do it at his? From what I understand, and Kaz will say it better than me, but they had this facility, this time, we're going to give you the receivers, and they weren't giving him any real information that he could use. Like you're not going to know who your receivers are until you get there. Okay. And that's like if I have my receivers, I know their speed, I know their timing,

I can throw a better deep ball. If I don't know how fast you are and I throw a deep ball, I don't know if I'm hitting you in stride. I could easily outthrow you. And that's fucked up on the NFL's part. But also, he didn't handle it the best. And another thing that— Real quick, the facility they were going to use was the Atlanta Falcons facility. So it's not like they were giving them some bullshit.

It was a state-of-the-art facility, and they were going to give them some receivers. Now, keep this in mind. If the NFL walks out there with four of the worst receivers in history, who does that look bad for? Cap or the NFL? It already looks bad on the NFL because they have it on a Saturday. That was his whole hang-up. His whole hang-up

was like, why is it on a Tuesday when any real decision-makers could be here to make a deal? The only people who are sitting on a Saturday is the third or fourth-rung people. Granted, this has never been done in the history of the NFL. They've never had a team wide NFL sanctioned, we're going to have this workout for one guy unless it's like the

draft combine or any of those rookie things. That's the only time they do this. They're doing this specifically for you. So as fucked up as it may seem on the inside, it's still an opportunity. It's still an opportunity to go there and show out and run the risk because the NFL wants this to go away too.

They would love to just put them on the team just so we don't have to talk about this. To clarify, for example, Atlanta Falcons Stadium, he says he doesn't want to do it there. He holds it at a high school. That's why there are these two different situations. So he holds it himself? Himself at a high school, eight teams show up. He would have had 25 teams at the atlanta falcons one so already now now he believes that he has reasons why he should do it i think kaz

touching this earlier is there's too much distrust between the nfl and cap and cap in the nfl so cap wants to control his narrative which i understand we talk about controlling narratives all the time absolutely that being said if you want to play for the organization you have to prove that you're willing to do what the organization wants because that's what happens when you have a job. When you have a job, you submit to the desires of the job. For example, if I say, hey, Kaz, I'd love to work for you, and you say to me, well, in order to work for me, you've got to come in at 10 a.m. Monday through Friday. I go, yes, sir, I'd love to come in at 10 a.m. because that's what I'm coming up to. When you go on the job interview, when you say, hey, can you come on Friday for the job interview? And then you go, no, I will hold my own job interview on Sunday in a different location.

What the fuck is an employer supposed to say? Any other job, they'd be like, well, suck my dick. I don't need you working for me. And granted, I understand that completely. The only thing is, Cap is, they both have their own agendas. Of course. Cap is, they both have their own agendas. Of course. Cap shit is- It's just distrust.

And the distrust is warranted because they clearly colluded to keep him out of the fucking league. Exactly. But like you were saying earlier, because there's so much distrust, you got to go your separate ways. You got to at this point. Don't even do the whole PR rigmarole. At this point, you got to go your separate ways because it's like, dog, no matter what, they're not going to- It's not going to-

So what's the perfect example what's the perfect end game for him like you become the gm of the niners you become the gm of the jets because that's basically what you're saying you're gonna tell the dude like you're at you're basically strip everything aside you think it's a meritocracy it's not at the end of the day you're asking these guys for a paycheck if you're gonna ask these guys for a paycheck which is why eric reed was getting his shit like he had his points but it's like yo at the end of the day you're suiting up for these motherfuckers you're getting a check from them like you you make all the points in the world and then granted i agree on almost all of them but at the end of the day those are your employers

you need that check 100 and your merit is based on more than your skill that we know that there's a lot of quarterbacks that are in this league right now who have merit outside of just quarterbacking skill right you were telling me about that guy who's great at watching film, Brian Hoyer or something like that, and he's elite at watching film. So he offers merit to a team outside of just being able to catch guys on little fly routes, et cetera. He provides value. Some people in the NBA, Jawan Howard played until he's 70 years old practically just because he's a great locker room guy, right?

So if you're coming to a team and let's say you have all the merit in terms of skill like Cap might have, but the show, like you were talking right there, reduces from your overall merit, that is a concern. Yeah. And team chemistry is a fragile thing. And it's like, look, if I think this guy's going to be divisive in the locker room, even if he's good, I don't want to bring him in. I'm the number one guy saying that about the Kyrie Irvings or whoever.

Every O-line voted for Trump. Let's be honest. Every O-line in the NFL voted for Trump. You think they're blocking for cap? Do you think they're going to take a knee? That's what they're going to do. The second he said they're going to take it, I thought we'd take a knee.

He plays a hard position to gain trust for. You see that video with Dwayne Haskins? They're in the Giants. Was it the Jets they were playing? And he comes to his O-line. He's like, what do I need to do to help you guys? I think they were getting blown out by the Jets.

He's like, what can I do to help you? And the O-line just look at him like, he's a rookie. He started maybe like one and a half games already. They all just look at him like, this motherfucker. And just continue to go talk about whatever the hell they were talking about. Those motherfuckers got to trust you. Yeah. They don't like, if Cap goes to a team where the defensive tackle is center and the, I

don't know, the right tackle. Yeah, yeah. And the elementary just don't fuck with what you believe in. Yeah. They might not block for you. They might put you in a position where you get hurt. Somebody might pay this motherfucker off like, all right't fuck with what you believe in. Yeah. They might not block for you. Like, they might put you in a position where you get hurt. Somebody might pay this motherfucker off. Like, all right, fuck it.

We're going to sign this motherfucker. Son, the O-line is the policeman of the team. Yes. Yes. And Cap does not like policemen. Okay? This is very, this is mathematics right here. It's mad possible that somebody's going to be like, man, yo, first game, first fucking

play, just let this motherfucker through. Fuck it. Whatever. That shit happens to people that they do like. That happens to quarterbacks that are actually good. Like, yo, fuck it, man. That's where Cap needs to connect with the opposing linebackers and be like, do you support a black man? Or do you sack one?

He needs to really manipulate, bro. I thought you were staying with me, that's that's kind of a big reason why i wanted to see him in the league i wanted to see who to really like crack him like i would love to see him and i'd love to see if he's still good i also don't know and i guess i didn't it didn't cross my mind that he just actually doesn't want to play because on the way up here i was like why does he want to play you're going to be a backup quarterback nobody's going to sign you off rip as a starter yeah you're going to make a million a year, which is not nothing. I thought they made 10 million backup quarterbacks.

Depends. He wasn't going to get that money. He'll get a small money. It's not 10 million. That's a huge contract for a backup quarterback. That's huge. You're going to get a couple million a year maybe, but you already got a settlement. You're already good with money.

You don't seem like a guy who spends on dumb shit. Nike's still paying you. You still got Nike money. You're just going to go out there and practice every day and risk CTE. You're a fucking hero right now. You are. This generation's

Huey P. Newton. That's what everybody called him. He's our Huey. Be Huey. I mean, chill. There's a much longer lifespan and life cycle

in doing that than just getting cracked Huey P. Newton got a much Colin Kaepernick off the field got a much better legacy than Colin Kaepernick on the field. On the field, he had a couple of fucking amazing years, and then kind of fizzled.

He didn't bomb, he didn't suck, but he just became kind of an average quarterback. Who's Huey P. Newton? Leader of the Black Panthers, right? Back in the 70s or 60s? One of the founders of the Black Panthers. One of the founders, okay. What was his relation to T'Challa how did he I know there was discovered vibranium they were just kind of like I fucks with Wakanda.

And he's like, no, this shit is forever. And then he threw this out. You know what? This got hot. Damn, Huey. He knows about branding. This guy's the man. I need to look him up.

I need to Google him. Smart guy, bro. All right. All right. We're off this cap shit. Thank God. I think we hopefully managed to have a little fun with it and educate the masses, if you will. Yeah. Did we even get through flagrant thoughts?

Did you have a flagrant thought? No, we didn't do a flagrant thought. I thought you had a flagrant thought. I have a flagrant thought. Oh, I had a flagrant thought that was part of the full sack. Okay. Okay, go. What do you got?

Did you do yours? Yeah, I think it was part of the full sack, wasn't it? Okay. Maybe. So, you ever watch movies in the 90s? Disney Plus is back. You're seeing these movies with the 90s. Yeah.

And they got these movies with these hot girls. And now I'm watching these movies like, yo, how many dicks did this girl suck to get this role? Yeah. Oh, man. And now I'm thinking the quality of hot women is just going to drop dramatically now that these bitches are on merit. You know what I mean? It's going to be a sad day for hot women is just going to drop dramatically now that these bitches are on merit. You know what I mean? It's going to be a sad day for hot women in movies.

Jesus Christ. Dude, there's a... Don't nobody want to look at meritocracy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a... What's it called? The Harvey Weinstein guy. Harvey Weinstein?

Yeah. Yeah. The Harvey Weinstein guy. No, no. There's a... Like, that's his name. I don't know if I ever did this on... I remember doing it on stage a little bit,

but, like, I don't know if I talked to you guys about this here, but, like, he was, like, the Bill Belichick of, like, movie producers. Yeah. Like, you know, most directors and shit are looking for, like, an actress that trained at Juilliard and she had, you know know experience doing soap operas and movies abroad and on stage plays

and Weinstein was just like who's sucking dick and y'all sucking dick he doesn't need someone to true talent true talent he got a system and he doesn't need players to fit the system he knows the system He got a system, and he just needs players to fit the system. He knows the system. You're getting the Oscar. You're getting the trophy at the end of the year. You just need to suck the dick. It's simple. Wasn't everybody happier?

This dude was delivering Oscars, dude. It's like, first round pick, I don't need those. Give me somebody. Fuck a first round pick. I'll trade back to the six. Literally, what did Belichick do, right? Belichick was like, I need a receiver. And they're like, do you want a 6 6'5 black guy with like amazing vertical leap?

He's like, no, you got any juice? Give me this like cross-playing motherfucker over here. How about a Mexican? I can send him to our receiver. You got to play quarterback? Got him. Give it to me. Julian Edelman never played receiver in his life.

People forget that shit. Edelman. Hernandez. Right? Hogan. Fucking Gronk. Gelman. Hernandez. Yeah. Right? Hogan. Fucking Gronk. Gronkowski. Who are these people?

Wes Welker was nobody before that. Another one. Jesus Christ. Julian Edelman. The only black wide receiver to- Josh Gordon. Gone. The only black wide receiver-

Randy. The only fucking flourish is the greatest of all time. All time. Randy. Randy. Is the only way. You couldn't stop that monster. Harvey Weinstein traded his first. He's like, I'll He couldn't stop that monster. Harvey Weinstein traded his part.

He's like, I'll give you my first round pick for a sixth and a blowjob. And he won, yo. And he won, bro. And every year, you're like, I don't know how he does it. We got to look at the girls that he put in movies to see if they were like noticeably less fine. Like, hey. He was trying to throw the sense off, like,

oh, fuck it. Nah, nah, that he was like literally, he was giving opportunities to like less beautiful girls. No,

I think he was just about, I think, I think a lot of them would have sucked dick and he was like, let me get the baddest bitches to give me blowjobs and I'll put them in movies

and we'll make money. He probably started with Yo, he worked for Miramax. That's a startup, man. You gotta do what you gotta do To survive at a startup

You know what I mean Sign Low budget indie films Sign Let me tell you He was putting the ND In the indie films for sure This guy

Yo there's a You heard about the Charlie's Angels bullshit Bro this is so funny So there's a new Charlie's Angels movie that comes out. Didn't even know. I had no fucking clue. They spent $60 million making the movie.

They probably spent another $80 million promoting it. It makes $8 million, just $8 million its first weekend. And Elizabeth Banks is the one who wrote it and directed it, the actress. She goes, it's a shame um men don't support female action movies and i mean first of all so many funny things about this it's like like first of all like why do men have to support it like just make your movie for women you're you should be upset women have support like fast and furious is not for women we go out and support it it makes millions and fucking billions every marvel movie men go out and support it it makes millions and fucking billions every Marvel movie men go out and support it it makes a billion dollars

everybody's happy women don't like action movies and that's fine but you made a Charlie's Angel movie which men supported back in the day not for the fucking

action sequences because you had three fine ass bitches in it and there was no Instagram or no Hooters where we could go look at these girls and finally we had movies

where like okay they're gonna look hot and then we gotta watch them do some cartwheels whatever the fuck they're gonna do and then eventually we're gonna see them look hot again you we got to watch them do some cartwheels or whatever the fuck we're going to do and then eventually we're going to see them

look hot again. They always got a bitch doing cartwheels in action movies, right? It's always like a laser scene and it's just like, oh,

how are we going to get through this laser? He's getting cute in their moves. That's all they do. And they're shooting you with their pom-poms or whatever the fuck.

They're just doing that. Hooray, hoorah. Spelling everything. Women don't support women, bro. They support Beyonce. Here's the thing.

They try to do a movie without Beyonce. You can't do that. Hooray. Hoorah. Spelling everything. Women don't support women, bro. They support Beyonce. Here's the thing. They're trying to do a movie without Beyonce. You can't do that. Charlie's Angels. If you look at the three chicks that they chose for Charlie's Angels, these three bull dykes, right? There's no fucking way. Look at this. Look at this.

Go to that image right there. This girl's like 6'8". I told you. Son, they got Candace Parker. She fine. They got- Yeah. I don't know who she is, but she look good.

Listen, no. A mother 20, and I don't know. Look at this one she is But she look good Listen no A mother to one of them I don't know Look at this one right here Who's this girl Kristen Stewart I never thought this bitch Was cute ever

Blow it up So I know their names Kristen It's Kristen Stewart She looks like one of the guys From One Direction Yo straight up This girl right here

She's a very pretty girl But whatever She look like gay Hermione You know I have no idea Who these other two are But I knew the Twilight bitch And She is tall She's like 6'3 I have no idea who these other two are, but I knew the Twilight bitch.

And she is tall. She's like 6'3". Point is, you're looking at this, right? Nothing about this looks like a movie to me. This looks like a shitty cable show. Go back to this right here. They should have just went with Jeter's old work. Boom. We all would have showed up.

Yo, real talk. Look how shitty that picture is, too. That looks mad bootleg. That don't look like a multi-million dollar movie set. That looks like an Instagram picture. Oh, you mean to tell me... And the fucked up shit is like, they were like,

yo, we had 43 Spider-Man movies. First off, every Marvel movie, every... You can't go from watching fucking Thanos destroy the entire planet and see an empty fucking street. Okay, so go back. Stay here.

How does this compare to fucking... So go back to the other image now, Eden. Go show the other one. The last Charles Andrews movie did $260 million. It was a reboot. Same three chicks.

And you know who they had? A fine-ass Asian bitch, a fine-ass white bitch, and a fine-ass lesbian... I don't know what Drew Barrymore is, but she's in a suit jacket. The motherfuckers love

Drew Barrymore. She's an accomplice. People knew who the fuck she was. She was there for the blacks. Fake white girl. The motherfuckers knew who she was, though. She wasice. People knew who the fuck she was. She was there for the blacks. A thick white girl. Right? The motherfuckers knew who she was, though. She was a star.

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You put a thick white girl in that black people show. So this right here, you have something that men are going to go see. Okay? That's all we want. We want hot chicks. Back in the day. Now I don't think we'll go to movies just because of hot chicks because we can access them so much more.

But these are three, early two, very attractive women, right? You can almost fetishize them a little bit, right? The blonde, blue-eyed chick, the Asian girl, and again, whatever Drew Barrymore brings to the table.

I'm not really sure what she brings to the table. I've never truly understood Drew Barrymore in my life and why we're into it. I'm not sure. Do you get it? No.

She's never been attracted to it. Drew Barrymore is the pineapple of women. How did we get into that? When this just woke up and everyone was like, oh, she's sexy? I'm like, is she? Why would you eat pineapple? She was like, don't move. It's Adam Sandler's The Love Interest.

I'm like, you sure, Adam? Like, this is? You were $500 million. That's a merit-based casting right there. Son, this is... Farrah Fawcett, come on, son. That's an all-time bad one. Farrah Fawcett.

Oh, man. This is, and this is, I don't know, 70s, 90s, I don't know what the fuck this is. Look at that, look at these fucking three white women right here. I honestly do believe social media plays a huge part. Because I remember when I used to see movies back in the day, they would have like little ratings on the bottom, and underneath that they'll be like, violence, drug use, some nudity. If I've seen some nudity and I'm 13 years old, I'm watching that shit.

Immediately. But now you can just see that shit on your phone all the time. I don't need this. Anywhere we want. Yeah, like there's no thirst for me to see that shit. Goddamn. That's why Hooters sucks now. Hooters has a bunch of fat girls in it, right?

And one is the only people those sneakers fit. And two, maybe you're wearing them fat girl sneakers at Hooters, bro. You don't have chunky ass fucking Skechers, bro. And big ass white sneakers walking around in fucking chalkboard erasers. But all these girls are on Instagram now. They don't got to sell chicken wings. They sell them fit tees.

Yeah, bro. But this is the only time you would see these bitches. Now go to these girls. One of those girls, Akash, you had the joke about you're tired of the female action movies?

Yes, 100%. She looks like your girl, Lilly Singh, bro. But like taller and better. Who, which one? Tall joint in the middle. The black chick? Yeah, she looks like a... your girl, Lilly Singh, bro, but like taller and better. Who, which one? Tall joint in the middle. The black chick? Yeah, she looks like a...

Oh, she's black? She's black? I think so. Well, her name's Naomi, she's black. She looks like a finer Lilly Singh. She's fine, though. She's gay, right?

Who? Lilly Singh? Yeah, she's bisexual. Who's this? I should be telling you every Thursday on Instagram. She's like, that's that YouTube girl?

The most popular Indian joint. Wait a minute, she's bi? Yeah. That's so funny. I was about to say, like, is that like... How did... I don't know. You thought we were going to skip over that one.

How the hell did they look for us, you know what I mean? All of these trash and all brown people on this platform. Do you really believe she's bi or do you think that it is like a convenient, it's like I'm going to say I'm bi so that people still think I'm straight enough, but in reality I'm actually a lesbian, but you won't support me if I'm a lesbian, so I'll say bi. Oh, see what I'm saying? She's pretty spot on to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a safe expression of, yeah. It's like when Malik Yoba was like i'm into trans women it's like no you like cock you like fucking guys so do you think that's that's what she's doing and i know it's a hard situation because i won't dispute any theories gotcha my uh i will say now i don't know this is more to your theory i was at first like skeptical of like is it just a nice platform to say you're gay and get a lot of love? Oh, you think she was using it?

I was thinking that, but I do remember someone worked with her years ago before she was on billboards. She was still big, but before billboards. And she was like, she has a very masculine energy. I don't know if she is gay. I'm not saying she's gay, and it's fine, but she just has a very masculine energy. I was watching some shit where she was doing some sketch with this dude where they were kind of beefing, and they were like, yo, you want to take it outside?

And she's like, you want to take it outside? And then she's like, see me at the corner of the parking lot. That was a long set up, but it got there. It got there. So she does have that alpha energy, bro. She got that alpha energy. And she played dudes, right? She did the fucking Eddie Murphy thing where she dressed up as a bunch of people.

Yeah. My girl is a big, she's Punjabi also, very proudly. And she gets a little bothered that Lily doesn't claim that very much. She claims it, but not. Can you be bi in Punjabi? Yeah, younger kids don't really give a fuck. I mean, our parents

are our parents, but... How does God feel about it? I think he's good with it. God is good with a bi. Sick God is good with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? I'm pretty sure, yeah.

Our uncles aren't God, but sick God, I'm pretty sure is good with God is one So guys know nothing about Very open minded religion Really Yeah

That's what's up But yeah she looks like the Destiny's Child I mean Charlie's Angel chick That was my wrong way Okay We got the point First gay act in history Keep this in mind

You're butt fucking Sans Running water Wait what Whoa whoa You had movies First gay act in history. Keep this in mind. You're butt-fucking Sans running water. Wait, what? You had movies, but you didn't have running water? No, no, I'm saying in history. First gay act in history. You know how they always go like,

oh, back in the day, sexuality was so fluid, this, that, the other. I do not think it was so fluid. I think the reason why there is such distaste for it in the Bible and stuff, I can't speak about eastern philosophy or religion but like i think there's such distaste in like the um abrahamic religion is because you are in the desert right you there's no fucking running water there's no toilet paper anything like that you're you're trying to kind of gross and then a guy's fucking another guy in the ass like wouldn't don't you think that

don't you think it's reasonable to see them go like hey don't do that i can no i think i think it happened earlier than we expected because i remember men are like stupid back here right like they probably didn't give a fuck about women it's like oh this tiny thing fuck out of here and they're like right how do we make more of us and they're probably like tested with a few dudes that That first. And it was like, no, this is not working. How come no pregnancy happened? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Yo, Kaz's logic is so fucking bad. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. I need to take a moment. I need to take a moment on this. I need to take a moment on this. Let me tell you, Kaz's logic is, hold on, hold on. Kaz's logic is, he's like, women are so weak, we should test on some dudes

to see if they get pregnant too now no no no hold on let me just get this out let me just get this out no no that's what

he was saying I think he's saying they want to give birth to dudes and the way to give birth to dudes no no

is that what you're saying exactly like they're probably cause I'm guessing you know what I mean like we want to have a son. They didn't have menstrual shit under control. They probably bled to death every two weeks.

It was like, oh, these women are useless. Oh, okay. And they were like, oh, us strong men, we need to make more of men. How do we – maybe you hit here. Okay. Both of us. Yes, both of our theories combined. Okay.

That's how stupid it was is we both misinterpreted and we were both right. So. I don't think gay sex happened before. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

So you thinking that men, you think men are going around, right, wondering how to make other men, right? Knowing full well they came out of a pussy, but they're like, how do we make- They don't know that. They have a mom Yeah dog What do you think No one found that out I don't know

Every day they're seeing Bitches give birth to men And women And you think some guys Nah that's how The first gay guy was slick You're not thinking Early enough

The first gay guy was slick You're not thinking Early enough That's how he tricked everybody The first gay guy Was like yo If you want a really strong baby, you got to punch my shitbox in. That's how we're going to make strong babies.

And then we can take over that other warring tribe. And then the other guy's like, for real? He's like, yes. I'm willing to sacrifice. I actually think it was started as some dominant shit of like. I'm going to rape you. I'm going to do to you what I do to these useless hoes over here over there picking berries. Oh, my God.

Look how much of my bitch you are. And then they fucked him. And that's how it all became a thing. But do you think that they got hard enough to bust? Or do you think they were just like an elephant trunk? Son, rapists be finding a way to get hard. It's really, honestly, mind-blowing. That should be happening.

I don't know, dude. I don't know. Do you really think? Some people get their kicks off of that shit. Like, ah, stop. That was dark. It's true. Yeah, it's real shit.

People get off on the struggle and establishing that dominance. Also, there was no lights back then so at night maybe you could like right it's not like it's not like set the mood with the bed light or whatever like that

that shit was dark and by morning you out so you're just dealing with you know and women were probably hairier back then you know they probably had like probably

definitely pussy hair and butthole hair but maybe not we really have come a long way as men grooming son

we have they for sure weren't grooming back then I think it started with a circle jerk yo Al Al is on one today I started with a circle jerk

son because think about it the first guy who yeah the first guy who jerks you empower this I. You empower this. I know. You empower this.

Your stand-up comedy has empowered this. Go on. Go on. So there's a bunch of fucking guys that are sitting around with full power to rape whoever they want. And they're like, you know what we should do? Whack off while looking at each other. That's logical. You can literally take any pussy that you wanted on planet Earth.

There was no rules against it. He's getting so irritated that you're not listening to his fucking stupid ass theory. Go, go, go. I didn't hear it. Hey, guys. Hey, guys. Instead of fucking... These are some of the exact pussy you want.

Hey, hey, hey. If you want to not fuck the exact pussy that you want and instead stare me in the eyes and whack off onto each other? Hey, yeah, that sounds good. Why don't we invite the boys over? Because me and you wouldn't be as much fun as if ten of us created a fucking circle.

You think that's how the Native Americans meant like making a rain dance? That was their rain dance? They're just whacking off in a circle straight into the sky letting it come down their shoulders and head hit them on their fucking feathers you deserve all of this alex just so you know just know you deserve all of this room all right now go make your point make your make your circle make your fucking circle Make your circle. Make your fucking circle.

I think you covered it. Oh, my God. I think you got it there. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Damn. Did y'all get Disney Plus yet? Fucking love Disney Plus.

God damn it. Love that shit, yo. I don't know why I had to talk about it now, but I saw the moment. So fuck it. Oh, fuck. Did y'all get Disney Plus yet?

Oh, man. Nah, I ain't get it just yet. I'm gonna need some poppin' shit. I wanna see that. You got it? Yeah, man. Thoughts?

I thought it was cool. I think it's great. My girl's fucking so happy, dude. Everybody who watched Disney, I didn't really disney growing up because i had an older brother so i would like try to be like him and he had outgrown all this shit so it wasn't a ton of nostalgia for me but there's definitely some great movies on there and i think it's a wrap for netflix yes i think disney plus the subscribership is going to be like historic like mind-blowing numbers out the gates son yeah

I think people forget how much what'd I say I've been told these motherfuckers this shit you know what I mean I think people

I think people just gonna add it I told these motherfuckers this shit but it's gonna happen it's fine I know that they got X-Men on there

you can watch like the whole X-Men Darren Brand shout out to the comedian Darren Brand he had the funniest fucking video where he just

he's just smoking weed talking about Disney Plus and it's so fucking funny I don't know he just talks he just starts watching the X-Men during the video

for the last like 45 seconds and it just it's just funny everybody check it out Darren Brand you think in the future like people like kids will look back

at the X-Men cartoons and like think it's like a like a trans superhero group. Because they were X-Men. Gotta go back and grab it. Almost went over the head. Almost caught it.

Gotta go grab it. There you go. I support it. I support it. I respect it. My weekend grab it. There you go. I support it. I support it. I respect it. My weekend was completely lost because of that. What'd you watch? Completely fucking lost.

I watched fucking Smart Guy. I watched Chippendale Rescue Rangers, X-Men. You watched Smart Guy as well. They got Darkwing Duck. Darkwing Duck. Darkwing Duck. I need to watch that. He was so funny, though.

I watched Endgame again. Cried again with my girl. Fucking, I remember the Titans. All the sports docs that they did. All the fucking. Sandlot. The fucking Boy Meets World shit. Like, that's so Raven.

Like, I was lost. You forget. Lost this weekend, though. Yo, Disney's so brilliant, man. They plotted this for fucking 10 years. Bro. And didn't say a word about it. And I think you had a tweet when they bought Fox that said Disney's playing chess, everybody else is playing

checkers. And then I was like, oh, Disney Plus. Son, they even got another shit that I was thinking the streaming thing should do. This is kind of dope. So you could look up and I'm fucking stoked they did it. You can look up any movie, right?

If Disney Plus don't have it, but one of their other services that are connected does, it will recommend that service and where you can watch it. Wow. So let's say you want to watch Bad Boys 2,

and Disney's like, ah, we don't have that, but it is on Hulu, and Hulu is available for $1.99 a month more. Whereas Netflix, you just type in Akash Singh stand-up special, and it's like ah we don't have that but it is on Hulu and Hulu is available for $1.99 a month more and it's like whereas Netflix you just type in Akash Singh stand up special and it's like sorry would you enjoy this

we have Russell Peters back to India for the fourth time we have Joy Luck Club if you're interested there's never some shit I'd be remotely interested in Drew that's Google if you Google anything it does that no but he's saying they take you to their other properties. Yeah, Google does that.

So whenever you pull up a movie, it'll show you all the places you can get it on which streaming service. Yes. Just click it. But it's not all owned by Google. His point is Disney Plus, Disney owns Hulu. Disney owns whatever other service. They're not going to send you to Netflix. They're not going to send you to Amazon.

They're going to send you to Hulu or ESPN Plus or whatever, one of their properties that they own. So ready? So ready? Here's the question. Ready? When you go home to watch something, right? Yeah.

Do you type it into Google? Yes. So you go home. Because I pull it up on my laptop. You type it into Google, and then you just press play, and then it brings you to Netflix. Yeah. What do you think most of humans do?

I mean. Don't I mean. What do you think most humans do? That's what I do. Listen. That's what I do. Listen, listen. We know what you do.

But we also know you think homosexuality was invented from a circle jerk, so you're going a little different ways with shit. You think it was started because of plumbing. 100% plumbing played a huge part. A huge part. Washing that area? They were fucking way before plumbing. Yeah, but begrudgingly.

It became out in the open after plumbing. Motherfuckers were just like, they had them. Books are clean now. So I think the majority of people turn on Netflix, right? And then they start searching for things on netflix and that's why there's the uh paralysis of analysis they say like you just keep looking for more videos you keep looking for more shit but you never find anything like so many people are stuck on the search right so i'm not saying that you may have

found a more effective way right that's possible but the majority of people type it in it's not there and then they're done disney plus has somewhat solved that option by taking you to wherever it is. And since they have so much real estate in the market, they can take you to another one of their properties that they actually own. No, I feel you. Where Netflix can't do it. You know what I'm saying? Disney's so ahead of the game, bro. They had this show.

There's this show on Disney Plus called The World According to Jeff Goldblum, right? Yeah. And the first episode is about sneakers and they show you they show jeff goldblum going to the adidas like headquarters their secret innovation headquarters where they literally fucking study brainwaves to know if you like something if you load something like to get actual real feedback for all their products. So they've basically figured out a way to quantify how to cause motherfuckers to camp out in front of sneaker stores

and have massive... Who is this? This is for Adidas, but I'm sure Nike, I'm sure all these people have this technology. They literally give you glasses, right? Put glasses on your face, and once you hold the sneakers, they have nine or 15 different fucking emotions like happiness sadness contempt uh displeasure you know all this other shit and like every time he thought about they're like yo act like you don't like it like you would

like stare at it make a face and like the fucking shit would go up and he's like a pair of glass that they have and they're doing this shit with sneakers. You know what I'm saying? So why hasn't it worked for any of their sneakers? Ain't nobody lining up for Adidas. Motherfucking Yeezy. Are you kidding me? That's Yeezy.

It's Adidas. You think Adidas didn't have the technology to be like, yo. Nah, nah, nah, nah. Come on, man. Why didn't they do it before Kanye? If you don't need Kanye,

you don't pay him. Dog. True or false? They got, they got. There's a reason why those three stripes ain't on the fucking Yeezys. They got Beyonce too. They got Ivy Park. Beyonce, ain't those three stripes ain't on the fucking Yeezys. They got Beyonce, too.

They got Ivy Park. Beyonce, Puma. No, it's Adidas. Regardless, that wouldn't have anything to do with their brand, the study. Signing Beyonce doesn't have anything to do with... Mind you, this is just Adidas. Clearly, this technology exists for shit,

is what I'm saying. I think, and this is just my theory, I think that human beings don't really know what they like, but they know what they're influenced by. So like, if somebody is influential enough,

he can get people to wear sneakers that we all thought were ugly. Like dad's sneakers are popping, right? But there was a time where we all thought they were absolutely ugly.

We would never wear them. They were just for like football coaches and shit. Then Yeezy comes, then you know, What's Face comes around and the fashion industry comes around.

They're like, nah, this is the type of sneaker we're gonna wear, and everybody wears it. Yeah, but you still need somebody in that green room to be like, we need somebody that can push that influence. Like, we have the technology, we have everything we need, but we still need that person to put it on somebody. Because even, we just said it, we were like, that's not Adidas, that's Yeezy.

No, that's Adidas. I guess what I'm saying is, the more important person in the interaction, like you can get people to wear anything. Like all of us wore baggy jeans. Now we think that's stupid. Now we wear skinny jeans. In the next five years, we'll probably wear baggy jeans again. And we'll think skinny

jeans are stupid, right? So like what we like is completely manipulatable. Of course they will. It's completely manipulatable. It's based on influencer and someone with enough power and equity in the fashion space or the music space. Look at how music has even changed. We'll shift all of our ideas and focus to accept things that we thought weren't good. So while it's definitely a cool technology to see if we like anything, that thing in our head that tells us to like it is useless, in my opinion.

The only thing you can really trust is food and taste buds. It don't matter how cool someone says some shit is, it's hard to get motherfuckers to like it if their flavor doesn't get it. You know what I mean? But I still think there's still that thing where even if you see something,

I know there's some shit that I knew. The shit's not happening right now. I probably wouldn't have worn these, like, five or six years ago. But now I'm like, oh, yeah, you know, this goes with this. Like, I could get away with that. Like, these are some Adidas shits, but I forgot what they're actually called. But I'll put them up here. But I wouldn't have worn these, like, five, six years ago. Like, I would need, like, oh, these fucking, you know, some signature athlete behind it, like, Jordans, Durants, whatever.

But now it's like, you know, there's just something in you where, like, you're not even conscious of why you like this shit. It's like, oh, yeah, this will work. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I get it. Like, we're talking about, I'm talking about, like, hysteria. I'm talking about people like, yo, I have to have these. I have to be the first one with them. I have to, you know what I'm talking about people like, yo, I have to have these. I have to be the first one with them. I have to, you know what I'm saying? That's probably where your theory comes in, where it's like, this guy's an influencer.

These people who get these sneakers are influencers. They need to get that before everybody else does. And I don't know. And when they do, they make it cool. It was really fucking interesting to me, man. Question. Why do you guys think retros work? Nostalgia.

Yeah. Question. Why do you guys think retros work? Nostalgia. Yeah. Yeah. Because, like, when shit is baked into your memories, right? Like, that's, like, the best way to influence people, right? Disney Plus. Disney Plus, exactly. Of course. So there's, like, with food, this is something.

I was talking to Tim Dillon about this, and his uncle works with all these restaurants in the city. Tim's the guy that talked about the food. he understands uh like the food game himself and he was like his uncle would like taste certain meals and be like this tastes like spring meaning like you're in the mood to have it in spring whereas like a hot cocoa or something like that that's like a fall winter type thing right so and the reason why those things is this because when you eat it or when you smell it or when you taste it it reminds you of these events that happen in your life like there's a place pumpkin shit is always in the fall always in the fall

right and it's like there's a place called clinton street bakery right in new york is very renowned like the bakery that has these pancakes and they're they're like line is out for two hours two hour wait no matter when you want to go on a weekend. And I've tried the pancakes. I'm like, why are they so good? I asked him why they're so good. He goes, you know what it is? They crust up on the sides.

And I go, so what does that have to do? He goes, remember when your parents made you pancakes as a kid? And there was all that butter in the tray so the pancake edges crusted up? He goes, you just think you're with your parents eating pancakes. It taps into that childlike. Clinton Street Bakery is what it's called? Yeah, yeah, it slaps, but to our way. It's insane.

It's like right off of Delancey, right? Delancey or Houston. Houston and Klan. Okay. And the Asians found it. Once the Asian tourists find it, it's a wrap. Supreme for breakfast. Just like Asians.

Imagine loving a brand you couldn't pronounce. How fucking difficult must it be? No, but for real. Imagine like- Wait, how does it sound? Supreme. I don't know. Supreme. Can they say the R's?

No, it's walk and wool for rock and roll. City walk. Supreme. Supreme. No, that sounds Walk and Wool for rock and roll. City Walk. Supreme. Supreme. Supreme. No, that sounds like speech impediment. I mean, I'm thinking South Park. I was like, shitty walk.

What? You ever read an episode of South Park? The only old Chinese movie, the shitty walk. It was like the shitty beef, the shitty steak. But this ain't. Shitty? Shitty. Built my shitty wall.

Okay. Did you guys hear about Kanye performing in the prison? No, I heard about Kanye and Joel Osteen. I didn't hear about Kanye in the prison. Ah, what's happened with that? He was just at Joel Osteen's church speaking about how he was the greatest musician of all time and he's not working for the devil anymore. Now he's on God's side or something crazy like that that you know what's the worst part about that whole shit the music's good but it

don't make me feel good at all connie's music like the new album like oh alex has a point about the new album that he wanted to get out last week that he didn't get out and this is actually a good point it's not him like on fucking mushrooms like he's been um so when the album first came out and i was like the one thing i usually look forward to in a kanye album is the production value yeah and i felt that this album was off like i was listening i hear little things that it's like it's not really mixed very well and then turns out like a week or two after the album came back he remastered it because it was mixed and he also took out drums. And it sounds a lot better now, actually.

Like there's a couple songs I like now. Yeah. No, that's what I'm saying. I always liked the albums. It's good, but it just doesn't make me. How would you put the fucking unmastered album out then? He was rushing it. He does it all the time.

He wanted to put it out on Drake's birthday, I think. I think so. Did it get released on Drake's birthday? The first version of Life of Pablo was way different than the one that eventually came out. Kanye got surgery again, though, straight up. He don't look as fat. Now he look like Baron Davis. Tell me he don't look like Dark Baron in them pictures.

Nah, he was fatter before, straight up. 100% fatter before. He got the liposuction fat. He got that Doughboy surgery fat. Righteous and ratchet surgery. I mean, to be fair, it's pretty cool that he's performing

out of prison. Fuck, yo. Motherfucker's in jail and shit like that. That's cool. Go down here. Go down here. Keep going down.

Dress like them motherfuckers. Keep going down. Keep going down. I'm going to show you a picture. Keep going down. Keep going down. There it is, right here. Kim is looking amazing.

Now. Why was Kim never bad? Don't Kanye look Like The cartoon Character that eats the bird You know the Tweety bird Sylvester the cat

You know the cat got the bird in his mouth And then the owner finds him And he's like He spits out the bird And then he gotta spit out the bird Open his mouth And the Twe sweetie comes out on his tongue

yeah yeah yeah don't Kanye always look like that like he got caught eating some shit he shouldn't yo uh fucking Kanye I don't

care care that he's performing at a prison I just think it's funny that later that day some guy's gonna get raped and the guy raping is gonna be humming

his favorite Kanye song woo woo woo woo woo woo da da da da da da da da gonna get raped and the guy raping is gonna be humming his favorite Kanye song so yeah so your point so Kanye didn't use 808s in this album because 808s are his devil music to him oh really and he said that's why like like if you listen to the put the the song with with the clips on it Yeah You keep waiting for the beat to drop The beat never drops Yeah It's just like

There's just like a constant tone In the background And just rapping And usually like when that happens They do that for a little while And then you hear the Like that never happens in the song Damn

I didn't realize that He didn't use any 808s The whole album No 808s That's probably why That's part of the reason Why I don't like it Like it sounds good It just doesn't make me feel goods. That's part of the reason why I don't like it.

It sounds good. It just doesn't make me feel good. The music's supposed to make me feel... I just feel like I'm getting grifted every time I see him. Grifted? Yeah. I feel like he's about to ask me to donate to some fucking... You know, like... Kanye O'Dollar.

Yeah, like past collection plate. Don't all Steve's a slimy motherfucker. I just want to watch the throne Kanye when he was just like talking his shit. Like don't, the woke shit show. Just like get back on that. Either talk your shit or if you want to do woke shit, do it in a- He gotta be woke. He got a white wife.

He has a dude in a crew. You get woke, you get a white girl. Is she white? She ain't white. She ain't black. Yeah, but do we call Armenians white? Yeah, she white. I thought so.

She is white. Really? She's white. I thought so. She is white. Really? She's white. Armenians are white. They're like the Sicilians of white. Oh, that's well said. Okay. There's some sort of something in there, but not enough.

You're white. Right. Okay. Dutch, Irish, and Scottish, and then half. Yeah, so white, half white, half Armenian. Ah, she's white enough. Yeah. She's white enough. I've never seen her kids' names all together like that, and Scottish, and then half. Yeah, so white, half white, half Armenian. Ah, she's white enough. Yeah. She's white enough.

I've never seen her kids' names all together like that, and it looks crazy to me. Psalm, Saint, North, Chicago. Wait, she has four kids? Yeah, two of them were, what's it called? Surrogates? Surrogates, yeah. But her eggs? Yeah.

And his sperm? Yeah, I think hers is North and Saint. Psalm and Chicago, I think were sur North and Saint. Saw them in Chicago. I think we're surrogates. I mean, can we talk about that for a second? The fact that rich people are just having other people carry their kids for them. That is crazy. That's some balling shit.

Doesn't this sound like something in a sci-fi movie? That is, yeah. Where like, the poor people of the world will be used as vessels for the rich people to have more children. Yeah, that is crazy. will be used as vessels for the rich people to have more children. Yeah, that is crazy. If you explain that to even our parents in the future, other people would house their children inside of your body so they didn't get stretch marks.

Whoa. That's fucking insane. I think she almost died in one of the childbirths. I think after Saint. Yeah. Imagine taking Ray J's pipe and not being able to push out a kid. I think it would be a little easier afterwards. I think he made some room in that motherfucker.

Ray J's the first boring company. We're building a tunnel in LA. Oh, man. All right. What else we got, boys? As a matter of fact, let's pay some bills, and then we'll come back with some hot fire. This episode is brought to you not only by full sack. So not only are the sacks going to be full, but if that sack is full, you need to get that dick hard so you can hand.

You can not hand deliver, but actually de-liver. You can de-liver all that dick that you need to do and the way that we do it over here on this podcast is blue chew blue chew.com you know the promo code is flagrant same active ingredients that are in viagra cialis only it operates twice as fast because you're chewing it up you get that little blue pill you chew that thing up and then you chew out your loved one you give her the greatest night of her life matter of fact fact, if it's the first time, a shorty that you want to impress, then you've got to chew it up. Simple as that.

You know, you have to do it. It's as simple as that you have to do it. I'm really at a stage in my life where I got to chew, man. Every once in a while, I got to let my girl know I can still throw it down. I can have lazy sex. I can have tons of the lazy sex. I could be on my back giving her that back. I call it that back. Okay my back giving her that back. I call it that back.

Okay? I give her that back. That being said, that being said, every once in a while, okay, every once in a while I come out of retirement and I get on top and I lay that pipe and I chewed up. I chews it up. Okay? It's blue chew.

We're not playing around. We're doing exactly what we got to do. We are delivering the dick and we're making sure that it's delivered in the most efficient, effective, titanium hard way possible. Bluetooth.com. Promo code Flake. Deliver that dick. Deliver that dick.

Now, while we're waiting for Akash to come back, Kaz, we can talk about this unprecedented access that you have been given into the saddest team in NBA history, the New York Knicks. Kaz is now part of the press. He has credentialed media at the New York Knicks facility, Madison Square Garden, and he is in the locker rooms

checking out them dang-a-langs. Do they have, wait, are there dicks out in the locker room when you're walking around? There were no dicks out. There were plenty of towels. There were showers around. So now the showers are private. There was a time when dicks were out. Yeah, there was a time.

NFL locker rooms, dicks are out sometimes. I mean, I guess they come in with the towels, so I guess for a split second, dicks may be out, but I wasn't around any Dicks No Okay So you're in there You're in the locker room I was in the locker room

Yeah so you know Shout out to New York Post For you guys If you haven't listened To the Big Apple Book It's a podcast It's a podcast I do every week

With the New York Knicks And this past week I got to see Porzingis' grand return To Madison Square Garden Kind of be behind the scenes See all that type of stuff I've been to a million games

Never experienced it As a member of press. You're on the floor. Yeah, like I'm on the floor in the locker room, talk to Rick Carlisle before the game, talk to Porzingis, talk to everybody. It's a way different experience than I expected. Now, what did Porzingis say when you spoke to him, and what did you ask? So I got to talk to him a little bit about,

because I talked to him after the game, because after the game the Mellon news happened. So asked him we'll get to that like how do you feel yeah i just had a quick thing he still was like he was still he was he still looked kind of rattled after the whole like people called him an asshole shit they were saying called they was chanting fuck poor zingus on the way out of the arena like he looked rattled like he looked like he just was just came back from war torn latvia or some shit like that. But I asked him about that, which was cool. Got to hang out with a lot of the Knicks before the game, during the game.

Not during the game. Before the game, after the game. And it was a pretty dope experience, man. But, like, I'm so glad I don't got to do that shit every day. Really? Yeah. Why? Why?

I can, like, just pick and choose the games all the time. I'm only doing a podcast once a week. So it's not like I got to be there every day doing the beat writers with beat writing shit with day. Really? Why? I could just pick and choose the games all the time. I'm only doing a podcast once a week so it's not like I gotta be there every day doing the beat writers with beat writing shit with everybody. And it was a nationally televised game so it was more media than normal. It was everybody there. And on top of that it was Porzingis returning

so it was too many motherfuckers. That said, it was crazy. It was good to be back there after a win, but I really want to be there, like, after a loss. Like, I wish I was there Saturday just to kind of see, like, how quickly do they move on? Because, like, after a Knicks loss, like, especially a loss like Saturday when they lose at the buzzer on some bullshit, like, I'm tight. Like, my girl's looking at me like, yo, like, why are you – like, it's just a game.

Like, I'm tight after that. Like, I want to see, like, girl's looking at me like yo like why are you like it's just a game now that like i'm tight after that like i want to see like how quickly for like though you understand there were there were wins or few and far between exactly and they were up 20 at one point and like it looked like it was gonna be easy i take such a macroscopic view with like nba because 82 games every game i'm like yo whatever wins and losses wins are dope yeah losses suck but whatever like there's 82 yeah and i'm okay with that but like after the dallas game i'm like, yo, whatever. Wins and losses. Wins are dope. Losses suck, but whatever. Like, there's 82. Yeah. And I'm okay with that, but, like, after the Dallas game, I'm like, okay, maybe they'll get some momentum.

Dennis Smith looked good. They suck. They still suck. Yeah. So, okay, obviously they suck. Can we get into Porzingis for a second here? Yeah. Does he suck?

He's, I think, still recovering, but I'll say this about Porzingis. I'm glad the Mavs got Luka. He not built to be a number one. Luka built for this shit. And I haven't gotten to watch a game. I live in Dallas. I don't have league pass. We should still go have something. If you want in, let's do it. I'm down. But I haven't gotten

to watch many games. I watched him show down with LeBron. Luka lives for the fucking spotlight. He loves it. Porzingis ain the fucking spotlight. He loves it. Porzingis ain't about it. He's frightened. And he's like kind of open about like pressure can kind of get to him

and whatever. He needs Luka. He's a great, that's ideal for a number two. Do you think KP, Chris Epps, Porzingis, will be able to

reach the levels that he was at with the Knicks? I think so. And I think, I think that's, I think that's as good as he's going to get, though. It was pretty good. Which is pretty damn good. But with a guy like Luka Doncic, it's like,

I got to watch him live in living color. It's like, you can't rush this motherfucker. It's like watching Aaron Rodgers play football. It's like, he's on one speed. He's not going too fast, not going too slow. Every pass he makes is right on the money. He always knows where a rebound's going to get. You know the step back's coming.

You still can't stop it. It's still wet. It's some Larry Bird shit. That motherfucker is, and I hate to compare white people, but that's who he looks like to me. Just a motherfucker who doesn't look overly athletic. Somebody I trust with basketball, that's the ticket again,

say he passes like Larry Bird. Zach Lowe, I don't know X's and O's of basketball like y'all. Zach Lowe said he's already probably the best passer in the league. Yeah, I see that. That's Zach Lowe who knows basketball and is thinking about LeBron when he says that, I'm sure. That's what everybody said when he first, even last year, they were like, the only person that those skip passes that he makes remind me of is LeBron James because he's big enough to make them.

The only person that those skip passes that he makes remind me of is LeBron James because he's big enough to make them. And he draws enough attention where once he kicks it, motherfuckers are wide the fuck open. And he puts them right on the money where shooters like to get it. And just watch that shit live in a little bit. I'm like, he's going to win MVP one year. If not this year, if not next year, he's getting one. He's that fucking good. And he's 20.

He's 20 years old. Yeah, I think being able to shoot really changed everything, right? Because there was never any question about his ability to get to the basket or his ability to see the floor. Oh, and he rebounds. And his ability to finish. See, I'm worried because he looked unathletic to me when he got drafted. He looked a little pudgy for a basketball player. Think about being 6'8".

So being in that 6'8", 6'9", range is if you can handle the ball, you can make up for lack of athleticism. And that's the thing I wasn't really concerned with. And he isn't the most athletic, but he uses his body really well. And he creates space. He creates space very well.

But what happened is the knock on him, and I guarantee the Mavs put this out there, was that he can't shoot. All right? And the fact that he's lights out, now you've got to stay up on him. Try staying up on a guy who's 6'9 at the three-point line. He's going to go by you. The only way to stop a guy is to sag.

Now, if you sag, he's wet in your face. So, yeah, we're looking at a future. He built different than most Euros. Dirk was built like most Euros mentally. Dirk didn't care about being a star. Luka apparently is keenly aware of when a game is on national TV. And I heard as soon as the Lakers game was over, he was in his Twitter seeing who's talking about him or whatever. And not in a cancerous way, but like, oh, this is my moment.

Let's fucking go. This is national TV. Let's fucking go. You got to remember, what happened with the Knicks? No, this is my moment let's fucking go this is national TV let's fucking go you gotta remember what happened with the Knicks he was doing this shit no this is Luka KP is not like that KP is very introspective

always thinking through things like the Knicks game was national televised well he balled out he had a triple double he had like 38 10 and 11 oh so he did

I think he had a good game I think he had a good game yeah I don't know if he triple doubled but I think it was 30 times in 11 yeah he definitely had a triple double and on top of that this motherfucker just he was doing this in the EuroLeague, the second-best league in the world.

He was the equivalent of their finals MVP. Kaz was calling for Luka to be the number one pick that entire season. I forgot who went number one. I think it was, was it Aiton that went number one that year? Aiton, and then Bagley, and then Luka, and then, was four Bamba? Five was... I think it was four Bamba? Five was I think it was Mo Bamba. Or whoever Chicago picked

Bobby Porter Jr. Otto Porter Jr. Whatever the fuck. And five was Trey Young. Yeah, that was I think we just had our Was that a good game though? 20 and 11?

I'll take it. Shot 20 something shots though. I think he was he was missing a lot early on especially. He was missing a lot. But yeah, it's Get those goofy ass accents

off the fucking level. That shit looks so stupid. You're in America, especially. He was missing a lot. But yeah, it's... Get those goofy-ass accents off the fucking letter. That shit looks so stupid. You're in America, dude. Donchich got a little V on top of it. Porzingis got some shit under the N for what? Get out of here, bro. I never even noticed that shit under the N. That shit looked like the yogurt I was eating in Sweden.

I think that's called cum. Prison cum Oh god So let's get to Miles Garrett Somebody was like That should be our new That should be our new Local

Yo Is it Can y'all explain to me Why this is that bad Bruh I mean I can't swing a helmet Deadass

Why is it bad Yo Look You're allowed to fight You're allowed to punch Each other in the face Bro, I'm not even a cancer guy. I'm a dead ass. Why is it bad? Yo, look, you're allowed to fight. You're allowed to punch each other in the face. You're allowed to have your helmet on and someone else doesn't have an helmet on. You can punch them in the face and you get, like, what, a little penalty for roughing the passer. And the second you take the helmet and you smash it on someone else's head, now you can't play football anymore? I was texting my homie, Shouse of Brian. I was texting him the exact thing.

Yeah. Now you can't play football anymore? I was texting my homie, Shouse of Brian. I was texting him the exact thing. Now, realistically, if he does hit Rudolph with the helmet, he really could do permanent damage. Like, you're swinging the helmet as if it's a weapon hard. I mean, he had him pretty dead on, you know? Like, I think this guy cracked the chair. So there's a video of someone swinging a helmet at a wooden chair, and he cracks the fucking chair.

Yeah. So that's why. You have to suspend him for the year. But people were really, I thought, grandstanding a lot about this is an insult to the game, blah, blah, blah. And Roy Wood, Shasta Roy Wood, the comedian, he had a great question. He goes, serious question. How do we feel about headhunting in baseball? Because it's not looked at like this.

And if your point is it could be lethal. Completely different. How? Because you can't prove that someone's head hunting. There is one purpose for swinging a helmet at someone's head, and that is to hit him in the head with a helmet. In baseball, you throw a pitch. You can whiz it by him.

Oh, the ball got away from me. There's a purpose of getting someone to swing a bat at that pitch, hopefully miss, or you get that strike. I wouldn't say that in terms of persecution, because to persecute your prosecutor, you have to have proof that he meant to do it. But we all know pitchers do it. And the general consensus of it is, oh, that's kind of fucked up.

You just can't prove it. And a pitcher could go, I wanted to make it close. I didn't want to hit him, but he was crowding the plate, and I wanted to back him up a little bit. I truly did not mean to hit him. There's no way you could prove that the wanted to make it close. I didn't want to hit him, but he was crowding the plate and I wanted to back him up a little bit. I truly did not mean to hit him. There's no way you could prove that the pitcher looked at it and tried to do it. That's fair, but as a thing that we all

know that happens in baseball, that baseball fans all know is a thing, nobody's like, yo, what the fuck, man? How are we just doing that? Pitchers are just throwing at people's heads. That's fucking crazy. We should all stop this. I think we also acknowledge that throwing a ball that speed to an exact location is so mind-bogglingly difficult that we understand that sometimes pitches get away.

Because people get hit by pitches without purpose, right? Yeah. 100%. This does happen. Like a nasty curveball is supposed to look like it's about to hit you. And then it just fucking drops. And sometimes it doesn't drop as much. It hits you in the elbow, right?

So I saw the tweet that he said, it's just not the same thing. This is an act of aggression, which I don't even think is that bad. But I understand that you can't have this happening in the game because it makes the game itself that's already violent look thuggish. Pablo Torre had a great tweet. He said, Miles Garrett's biggest crime is not discerning the difference between consensual and non-consensual brain damage. That's right.

I was like, yeah, like, whoever's saying this is assault, I'm like, 90% of the shit that happens on the football field is assault. Oh, it shouldn't be assault. Yeah. It should just be something that you get really fine. This is the kind of shit I'm talking about, this fucking cuck from the ringer. Miles Garrett just committed actual assault on the football field. Get him out of here for the season.

If Miles Garrett plays one more snap this season, it's a joke. Like, chill, yo. Just out of curiosity, what do you guys think about this? Because, and I think this is more similar because it's within football. I think a head-on-head hit that's purposeful, right? I think that is worse than this. Yeah, I can quite possibly agree with that. I think it's worse because a head-on-head hit,

a head-on-head hit, and it is your choice, right? We're talking about defenseless receiver, head-on-head hit, not like the receiver bends his head down and it's disputed. We're talking about you. He didn't see you. You saw him, and you went right for his head with your head when you could have gone for any other part of the body. That is probably way more punishing than this.

Like, this guy swung a helmet full force, hit him on the head, and he didn't even fall. He didn't stumble. He moved. If it wasn't for this dude's shoulder, number 66, he gets fucking creamed.

Oh, wait, no. No, he hits him right on the top of his head clean. Oh, shit. I think he ducks it a bit. No, it hits him clean on the top of his head. I've watched this video a million times. See how he braces right here? No, boom.

Hits him on the top of the head. It's clean on the top of the head. It's clean on the top of the head. It's the open part of the helmet that hits him. Yeah, it's the bottom of the helmet. Yeah, but I'm just saying that. That's the sharp part. If you hit him with enough force, that can kill a person. Yeah, for sure.

The head-on-head helmet hit, it can cause concussion, but I don't think you can die. This is the difference between the head-on-head helmet hit and the helmet hit. The other person is also wearing a helmet. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Right? difference between the head-on-head helmet helmet hit the other person is also wearing a helmet yeah that's what i'm saying right and if you ran full force into someone who wasn't wearing a helmet with yours probably kill them yeah right so i hear what you're saying there is this poses more danger and it's unique in that that person is not as covered as we would allow that being said we

would find someone maybe a game for head-on-head i don't know how how does that work um i think it's usually penalizing you. You get a fine. Money fine. So it's just a money fine. $7,500. If it's like some perfect shit where you have a prior history, you might miss more than one game or two. But, I mean...

If this doesn't happen on national TV, I think it's a five, six game ban, maybe. And that's like... But, yeah, I just... To me, it is... It's not excusable. I just think people acting is it's not excusable i just think people acting like it's the most heinous thing they've ever seen i can understand in a game like this you're completely passionate you're a fucking lineman every play you're beating the shit out of each

other a guy just punched you in the balls now it's like all right let's fucking go you rip the helmet off you're not thinking clearly you have his helmet in your hand you just fucking swing to me it's like you got to punish it. You got to sit him for the season. But in my mind, it's also just like he lost it for a second. Anybody who's had a girlfriend has lost it for a second. You know what I mean? So, like, it's a thing that happened and you got to be punished.

Whoa. I got dark real fast. I got really dark. Nah, just eat the thing. Oh, I knew. Talk to us, Sarcos What happened? She ain't gonna tell you Nah, but the I think the reason why they have to like Go above and beyond

And treat this like it's the most heinous crime Is so that way no one ever does it again. Because had he killed him with this shit right here, now people are saying, oh, football's too dangerous of a sport. Nobody should play it. Sunday at noon, I think he gets six games. Son, if we saw a death on national TV. You're not dying for this.

Oh, no, no. This exact thing that went out. A lot of factors contribute. He's lucky he didn't. If he connected for real, he would never play again. Drew, Drew, no, no. This exact thing that went out. A lot of factors contributed. He's lucky he didn't. If he connected for real, he would never play again. Nah, Drew, Drew, I'm telling you. Right now, the helmet's kind of turning. It's kind of turning a little bit.

It's not like a direct, full, all-his-might swing on it. But I'm saying if you really cocked back and hit somebody. It lands on the back right corner of his head pretty hard. So that's why they got to throw the book at him. Shouts to who was it? Marquise Pouncey? He just started kicking his ass after? Yeah, that was funny.

Mason Rudolph's kind of a bitch too. If you remember, proper context here. This was like 10 seconds left in the game. They were down three touchdowns. The game was over. He threw four picks already. He just got sacked again. He's probably like They were down three touchdowns. The game was over. He threw four picks already. He just got sacked again. He's probably like, yo, what the fuck? The game is over. Miles Garrett knows

one speed. He's coming. He was former number one pick. He does have four roughing the passer penalties this year. He does have a lot of roughing the passer penalties. But he plays one speed. So he roughs the passer with 10 seconds left when they're up three touchdowns? Yeah. So once he's all on top of him, Rudolph is trying to take off his helmet first.

Rudolph's trying to rip off Garrett's helmet. Garrett pushes him down. He's like, fuck you. Took his helmet off. Walked away. His own teammates are trying to de-escalate the situation. Mason Rudolph is following him, trying to square up for some fucking reason. And then he gets cracked.

I mean, I get it. I rewinded just a little bit. Hold on. Where? Oh, shit. Pouncey fucked him up, though. Yo, that guy, whatever that, who's that receiver right there? There's a receiver that levels Rudolph or somebody.

A linebacker. A linebacker. Levels Rudolph when he wasn't even looking, dude. Yeah. That's super cheap shot. Already just got hit in the head with a... Boom. Damn. That shit doesn't look like it hurt. Did they get a replay in there?

Probably got a replay. Oh, no, they're not doing it. There's eight seconds left in the game. Like, what the fuck? Yeah. Go back right here. Okay, boom. All right, tackle there, right?

A little extra. That's nothing crazy. He's trying to take off his fucking helmet. For what? What the fuck's wrong with you? All right. Wait, was he trying to take off his helmet? Yeah, look at, right? A little extra. That's nothing crazy. He's trying to take off his fucking helmet. For what? What the fuck's wrong with you? Wait, was he trying to take it off? Yeah, look at him. He's a dick.

Pulls his shit off. And his teammates are like, yo, game is over. Chill out, chill. This nigga's chasing after him. I'm not, I mean, yes, he should probably get this better. Boom, soundbite. He also, this is a bitch move. When he gets the helmet swung at him, Rudolph, he starts probably get this better for a game. Boom, soundbite. He also, this is a bitch move. When he gets the helmet swung at him, Rudolph, he starts looking around at the refs like,

yo, what the fuck? Like, you chased him down, you got hit, and then he started turning around with your arms raised. And that's why I'm glad he got leveled extra. Watch this. Watch. He gets up, and look at this. Immediately, arms up. What's going on?

And then he gets knocked down, which is great. Fucking leveled, bro. And nobody even goes after that guy. Pouncey's a G, dog. The Pouncey Twins? Yeah. Bro. Oh, there you go.

Look. Oh, here it is. Here it is. Here it is. Boom! That hurts. That didn't hit him? That didn't hit him?

Go again. Watch it again. It's not full. Clank. That's not full. Look at his mask! Are you kidding me? Didn't I go like this on this little song thing?

Nah, he got hurt. He got fucking hurt. He got hurt. You know what you're like? You're like one of those white people who are like, well, why was he being aggressive with the cops? After the address level football game. Well, why didn't he just show his ID?

He should have just showed his ID. Why can't he just comply with the citizens? He's played four football games. Look at this. And wait a minute. Keep going. I want you to stop it. Right.

Stop. Oh, yeah. He didn't hit him. I'm not saying he didn't hit him, but he could have hit him a lot harder is what I'm saying. I guarantee you have somebody holding him back, getting in the way of him. Now you're shifting the goalpost. We were talking about whether he hit him or not. No, I wasn't.

No, I was saying that the way he hit him wasn't that hard. I thought he didn't really get hit. I didn't say that he didn't hit him. I know he hit him. He caught him with the bottom of the elbow that had the opening. So look at the part that he hit him wasn't that hard. I thought he didn't really get hit. I didn't say that he didn't hit him. I thought he hit him. He hit him with the bottom of the elbow that had the opening. So look at the part that he hits him with. Oh, my God. Now, that shit is...

Listen, as someone who gets hit in the head quite a lot accidentally, I understand these types of hits. He got a lot of padding, though. But no, I thought it was the padding, but look. It actually gets hit. Oof. Oy. That's like right at the edge of the elbow.

Yeah. It's still a bad hit, but I mean if you really swung unimpeded. If he turned that shit the other way he probably would have killed him. If he turned that shit the other way, helmet stole down. Imagine someone got killed.

That's what I'm saying. Do you think then we would listen? Maybe this is bad. Honestly, three weeks I'd be like, yo, maybe this is bad. Yo, this is a dangerous sport. Honestly, three weeks I'd be out. Three weeks? Three weeks.

How about that? This is pretty rough. If you listen to shit like this, I'd be like, I mean, I wasn't even part of the game. Because just like wrestling, when Bret Hart died,

Pete was watching wrestling the week right after. Owen Hart. Owen Hart. Owen Hart. He died live? Yeah. On pay-per-view. He fell from a fucking...

He fell from the sky. That is some stupid-ass stunt. The best deal that you've ever gotten on a pay-per-view. Oh, my God. You got to see a death live? Hold on. He fell? What happened exactly?

It's all right. So, Owen Hart used to be this wrestler called the Blue Blazer. He used to fly in from the ceiling for his entrance. And so, I guess he was waiting to do his entrance, and instead of lowering him in, like the hats just kind of gave way a little earlier, he fell down and hit his head on the corner of the ring post and died on the way to the hospital.

Oh, my God. Yeah. That's a head hit. Yeah, that's a head hit. Fuck. Did they sue? What happens in that situation? Yeah, the Hart family sued WWE, I think, and it was pretty bad.

It was like a really dark moment. It was probably the darkest moment until the Benoit shit happened. That Benoit shit was crazy. Yeah, it was rough. He like royal rumbled his family, dude. Oh, my God. I'm working with these motherfuckers this week. Goddamn.

Can we? Jesus. Last man in the ring, dude. Yo. Oh, my God. What? motherfuckers this week god damn can we jesus last man in the ring dude that's oh no but then i'm working with them this weekend we can't touch this at all i blame wwe why'd you put that in his head then he gotta be the last one i gotta go pee I feel like we

sound worse on this podcast way worse but they not getting paid oh yeah yeah that was

I mean he's the dick not me. Right? If we judge it morally, who's worse, me or Benoit? He's clearly worse. It's a good point. It's a good point.

No. What do you mean no? Just kill his family. Yeah, Andrew didn't. I didn't. That's Andrew's point. No. What do you mean no? Just kill his family. Yeah, Andrew didn't. I didn't. That's Andrew's point. I'm just providing a hilarious metaphor for the way that he went about doing it. That's all it is, you know?

Anyway, Arkash, what else we got going on over here? We haven't talked mellow fully. Kyrie versus Kemba well uh kaz isn't here because kaz is getting a check on kairi so we can talk all the shit that we want about kairi so kairi goes down nets immediately win right like immediately without him right um boston killing it with tan and two number one seed in the league. Oh, boy. Damn, I was drunk. What are we thinking here?

How long before the league starts to understand that Kyrie Irving, as exciting as he is, as exhilarating as it is watching him score the basketball, is not a productive member of a basketball team? I don't think it will happen because you're always going to have, he's just, this year's Melo and you're always going to have people who just support Melo for no reason.

We're never going to, his talent is too tantalizing for us to say, you know what, this guy doesn't help you win games. Because we enjoy watching him

when he loses. Yeah, or it's just you enjoy watching him, period. Yeah, just enjoy it. He seems, visually, it's so fucking, the eyeball test tells me this guy's loses. Yeah. Or just enjoy watching him, period. Yeah, just enjoy it. He seems, visually,

it's so fucking, the eyeball test tells me this guy's incredible. Yes. The scoreboard always tells me differently. Yeah. But the eyeball test tells me this guy's great.

Undeniably entertaining to watch. He's Sean Kemp, right? It's like, this is action, this is fun, I need to watch it, but he cannot help his team win with the style that he plays. And Andrew was saying

when you guys really believed you were going to get free agents, which is still funny to me, but you were saying, I would rather have Kemba than Kyrie a year ago around now. And I agreed with you. Most people thought we were idiots. But 100%, just off sheer numbers,

the Celtics only lost one guy. Only gained one guy. Two Horford. They lost Horford. Horford was really important. Okay, so you could potentially put their losses to... Oh, no, they got better. They got...

Oh, my God. And Horford's a team player. The Sixers are significantly better with Horford. Think about it. You lost one plus player, and you're better. So, Kemba's a huge plus player, and or, you know who's a huge negative player? Kyrie. To get better after losing Al Horford, your all-star and glue guy for that team

and really incredible player, and Kemba, you get better when those two guys go? You shouldn't get better if you lose Horford alone. Yeah. But Kyrie is so detrimental to a team that even with the loss of Horford, Kyrie drags your team down so much that just eliminating that guy. Y'all called it. Y'all called it, man. Not a Max player.

Oh, no. I'll be the first one to admit I stood on the Kyrie, you know, hill and was like, I don't know what y'all talking about. He's this, this, that. Like, they'll be fine. But you're going to get the Kyrie check right now. And that is true. I'm getting the Kyrie check.

Shout out to Nike. But basketball-wise, it's like, y'all hit the nail on the head. Like, just watch it. They just look different. Like, the Celtics look like a title contender. And the Celtics look more happy. They look so happy. The Celtics are loving life.

Gordon Hayward was back, and then he went down, and they kept winning. Kyrie was fucking up so bad. People thought Brad Stevens overrated with Kyrie. I still think he's overrated. Brad Stevens gone. He's back to being the genius coach again. Funny how that works. And Kemba's playing well. I haven think he's overrated. Brad Stephens gone. He's back to being the genius coach again. Funny how that works. And Kemba's playing well.

I haven't been watching many games. Playing very well. Kemba is playing well. I've watched them a lot. And the difference between Kyrie and Kemba is Kemba makes sure everybody else gets there the first three quarters. Because the fourth quarter, it's all Kemba time. Yeah, I heard that somewhere else too.

Jason Tatum gets his. First three quarters, Kemba taking care of everybody else. Fourth quarter is all Kemba time. Yeah, I heard that somewhere else too. Jason Tatum gets his. First three quarters, Kemba taking care of everybody else. Fourth quarter is my time. We all understand that. But the first three quarters, I'm taking care of you. Yeah, Jason Tatum's going to get his. Jalen Brown's going to get his. Everybody gets yours.

Fourth quarter, it's my time, and we know that's for the best, right? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. And if you're getting the ball for three quarters, it's like, yeah, I mean, sure, this is the best player. Let him close out. I'm happy. I love this. So Kemba has a real swag, a real big dick energy.

Yeah. This makes me so happy. So Kemba and Brad Stevens and the team all understand that Kemba's the OG? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And they all fall in line with that? Yeah.

And wow, this is interesting. I didn't know Kemba was that guy. Kemba won a game against Charlotte. No, no, no. I knew Kemba was clutch, and I knew that he could deliver, but I didn't know that he would have the type of alpha energy to walk into an already successful playoff team, be an added piece, and then go, it's my time in the fourth. I thought that would be Jason.

I thought Jason would be like, I'm stepping up into that role now. But if Kemba is the guy. I mean, I think it's more of a Brad Stevens call, too. He loves his guards, though. He loves his guards though. He loves his point guards. Brad loves his guards, yeah. But at the same time, when it comes to. And the white boy's playing so well.

What's his name? Gordon Hayward. I mean, he's injured, but like. He was balling. He was balling for a little bit. He looked like how he looked in Utah. So it's just like, man. A lot of people have different ways of leading, man.

Like some people lead by actually. You know what the most important component of this podcast is? We have fun. Yes. It's not punchlines or topics. It is let's just sit in a room and have fun, and everything else will take care of itself. Basketball probably ain't that different.

The antithesis of fun. And them motherfuckers, if you watch Brooklyn. Brooklyn ain't having no fun. All they were last year was fun, and it carried them to a six seed. I would watch them last year. I'm not jealous of them this year. Last year, I would watch them like, I wish my team was this fun. I remember him saying that all the time.

The whole fucking bench doing the 6-9 dances. Yeah. Fucking Jared Dudley fucking talking shit with Benson. It was lit in there. They were having fun. Like D'Angelo Russell, they lost a lot of those guys that made that team that team. They're a different team now. They have maybe more talent.

Holy moly, man. But it's just like chemistry and leadership and just fucking liking each other. Kyrie is a cancer. People think that's just something you can just sweep under. He is a complete cancer, and he has begun to erode the Brooklyn Nets from the inside out. What a shame because they were on the perfect path to really running the East. They built themselves the right way. They built themselves the right way.

They had money. That's why I didn't think they were going to get Kyrie. I was like, what's wrong with DeAnsel Russell? Yo, fuck it. Why not go for Kemba? You have the money. Or that. But I honestly think theyba? You have the money. Or that. Or that.

But I honestly think they just wanted to beat the Knicks. They didn't want to be a championship team. They wanted to be the team in New York. They wanted a team in New York. In order to be the team in New York, you need the stars. But also, everybody said Kyrie's the best point guard. You take him over Kemba. We were the only ones I know saying Kemba over Kyrie. That's true. Everybody else was like, nah, you take Kyrie's the best point guard. You take him over Kemba. We were the only ones I know saying Kemba over Kyrie.

That's true. Everybody else was like, nah, you take Kyrie. As soon as they got them, they said, that's it. It's a wrap. They're going to win. And granted, skill-wise... As much as I love shitting on you guys and your misery for not getting either of them, I think long-term, you're going to be okay. KD might not be the same after this

Achilles. Knicks can't think long-term, and that is one of our problems. But I agree with you if we actually stick to the course. What's interesting about the Nets is the first time they make a non-basketball related decision, it bites them in the ass. Every decision prior to Kyrie was basketball. Even KD's basketball. Getting the cap room, getting all those picks like everything after

the horrible i think it was the celtics trade celtics trade was all basketball right because they make one decision based on branding of the nets we want to be new york team so new york's team so let's get these big names here they have sneaker deals etc and that one non-basketball related decision sends your franchise into the fucking basketball purgatory. I think they're ninth in the East right now. They're not even in the playoffs right now. In the East, yo. Kyrie's hurt.

Kyrie's LaVert's hurt. Oh, Kyrie's hurt? Yeah. Shocking. Does he have a history of that? I don't understand. I thought Kyrie was indestructible. Or I thought even when he plays, he's so good it doesn't matter that he gets hurt.

So I'm sure as soon as he went down, the Nets just completely tanked, right? Listen, the good thing about this show is that I don't have to bullshit on takes. If I have a bad take and I'm wrong about it, I'll own that shit. I thought Kyrie was the best point guard available. I thought he was just in a bad situation in Boston. I thought it was fucking wild. Did anybody want to play in Boston? I thought it was just a city and he's going to go to a different situation.

Yo, KG loved Boston. KG, the blackest dude the NBA's seen in 20 years. That's facts. That's facts. While we're talking about shoulder injuries, before we get out of here, I think we should acknowledge new shoulder Paul George is going to be a problem. Really? Dropped 37 in 20 minutes.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. With no Kawhi. With no Kawhi. And he's been battling these shoulder injuries for years, apparently. And I guess he got surgery on both of them. I'm not exactly sure what happened. Yeah, right after the playoffs he got both.

Yeah, both surgeries. Who knows? Maybe it doesn't keep up. But if you have – That team is scary. I know that the Lakers are having some fun right now. Still like the Lakers, bro. They're on top of the West, whatever. Still like the Lakers, man.

But at the end of the day, you're going to have to guard Paul George and Kawhi. And LeBron ain't going to want to lock down Kawhi. And AD cannot lock down Paul George. But... If LeBron has a kryptonite, it's Kawhi. That being said, LeBron might fuck around and be MVP again this year. He's averaging nearly a triple-double. Hey, man, that shit is all cute.

How many times has he won the MVP and the finals in the same year? Once? Never had a guy like Anthony Davis on his team either. Listen, it's different now. We can admit it's different now. And if Kyle Kuzma can step into that third guy role, I don't know if he can. They need depth and they need a third guy.

Kyle needs to step up and we'll see if he's got the balls to do it because at the end of the day, it really comes down to that. It's do you feel like you can shoot the ball? You have LeBron James on your team and Anthony Davis on your team. You have to still feel you have to have the NBA confidence that makes you go, I deserve the rock and I deserve to hoist it up.

And to be completely honest, like Kevin Love, say how you, regardless of how you feel about Kevin Love, Kevin Love felt when he got the ball at that three-point line, hoist. Hoist. Yeah. And I think, I assume that LeBron is looking at Kuzma going, you can be a version of that.

You're not going to be as lights out as Cav, but you can be a version of that. You nod your head. What do you mean? No, I'm just looking at the standings. I had no idea the Rockets were in second place. Oh, yeah? I had no fucking idea.

What? Yeah. I mean, James Harden has been on like a historic story. Average of 40. To the point where we haven't even seen westbrook highlights think about it have you guys seen westbrook highlights yo can we talk about it go can we fucking talk about it i've been trying to fucking change the narrative on on russell westbrook for the past four fucking years every wing player that has

played with russell westbrook in the past four or five years has either gotten better or become an mvp candidate kevin durant oladipo, Paul George, and now James Harden, who was already an MVP, is somehow playing better. Oladipo wasn't the same until he left, though, right? Because I remember that being the big narrative is, oh, Oladipo left Russ and look how good he got. It's when he left and went to Indiana that he got really good. It was like, oh, he was holding Oladipo back all of a sudden,

which is ridiculous. But the point is he stepped up when he got really good. It was like, oh, he was holding Oladipo back all of a sudden, which is ridiculous. But the point is, he stepped up. The point is, he stepped up when he got away from Russ. Yeah, had to. But Russ is, you know what I mean? Like, people like to look at numbers and be like, people have empty stats. But, like, if you have a guy who can get you 10 assists and a guy who can get you 30 in his sleep, things are going to fucking work out.

Like, assist or assist our assist that means the ball is moving people are touching it you are getting people easy shots you're getting a guy who can get shots as difficult as possible easy fucking shots yeah like and it's because of westbrook like westbrook has changed that team he's doing something that chris paul couldn't do which is also like not be a fucking liability on the other side. I'm not ready to put this team in the finals at all yet, but if they made it to the finals,

how much does that change the narrative on Kevin Durant? Which team? If the Rockets make it to the finals. I think that Kevin's history is solidified by how horrible the Warriors are without him. Yeah.

It's fair. It's without him and Klay. Yes, but we're going to look at this team as without KD. I agree. If you put Klay back in the picture and there's no Iggy, there's other things. I think history will look back and they'll go, damn, when KD left.

Yeah, that'll overwhelm the other stuff. Even though it might not be statistically accurate. Right. Okay, I got you. But it is an interesting thing going on here which is like james harden in my opinion is a more elite score than kevin durant some people might not agree with me but i feel like james is is like truly unstoppable maybe for the first like 70 games of the season 65 and i think that he starts to gas out towards the end, and then the playoffs are really grueling for him.

But I think he's just truly an unstoppable scorer. You cannot stop him one-on-one. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. And I want nothing more. I want nothing more than a Western Conference playoff series with Kawhi Leonard and James Harden, Paul George and Russell Westbrook,

and seeing the two of them switch around because they're going to switch around on each other, and seeing Russell and James attack the two best defenders arguably in the league right now, I mean, that is going to be fucking phenomenal. Forget the Lakers. Whoever they play, they play. I don't even care. The series for me is Rockets Clippers. We should talk about Melo before

I know that you've got to run out of here. The Uber's on the way. I've got six minutes. Okay, so real quick. Melo's on the Portland Trailblazers. I guess Portland has realized that this season is a wash, and we might as well get a lottery pick or something like that. So they picked up the one guy, the anchor. And by anchor, I don't mean someone who holds your team together.

I mean someone that will drag your team to the bottom of the ocean. Carmelo Anthony is now a Portland Trailblazer. And the Trailblazers are keeping up to their name and blazing new trails. To the bottom of the standings. To the bottom of the standings. They're already at the bottom of the standings. I think it's a nice move for them.

They're super thin at power forward, which is why they picked them up. The game's gotten a little smaller since Melo was really killing. I think he's going to do better than people expect. He doesn't need to guard small forwards anymore he can guard motherfuckers like Draymond Green and like six eight six nine guys that aren't like seven foot shooting power forwards I think he'll be all right is he gonna average 20 no if he could hit some open shots and play some semblance of defense I think he'll help the Blazers a lot because it's still the Dame Lillard and CJ McCollum

show over there and if he has a good attitude I think he'll be fine I think he'll help the Blazers a lot because it's still the Dame Lillard and CJ McCollum show over there. And if he has a good attitude, I think he'll be fine. It's good that he's in the Pacific Northwest so they don't have a shit ton of nationally televised games to people to fucking break down his every fucking move like he did in New York and Houston. I think it's going to work out better than people expect.

Houston's a giant market. I think it's actually not a bad move for the Blazers in that their season was already falling apart. They don't seem happy. It seemed like getting swept by the Warriors really fucked with them.

Yeah. Because like that they thought they had man I thought they had a puncher's chance at it. I think I might have picked them. Wow.

Which looks dumb as fuck now. KD was hurt. You're like yo Steph and Dame Dame had been going off all playoffs CJ had been going off and then you get fucking swept by a KD-less Warriors You're like, yo, Steph and Dame. Dame had been going off all playoffs. CJ had been going off all playoffs. And then you get fucking swept by a KD-less Warriors.

And I think they're just not the same this year. But it's kind of unfair, though, because they got vintage Warriors. They lost. Nurkic is still hurt. Or Yurkic or whatever his name is. They didn't have him. And they lost someone else, I think. But then they picked up Hasan Whiteside, who I thought would be good.

He's a bum. He's another Melo type. I think he just makes your team worse. And now they were 4-8 when they signed Melo. So it's like you've got to do something. Yeah. It's interesting. I know, Kaz, whenever you've got to go, you go for it.

Whenever you've got the Uber on the way. As soon as the Uber gets here. But just before we leave, I just want to say to everybody who came out in Boston this past weekend, this is a very important weekend for me because I did two shows at the Wilbur Theater. And the Wilbur Theater in Boston in general has created my favorite comics in history. All my favorite comics. Patrice O'Neill, Bill Burr, Louis C.K. Dane Cook.

I'm serious. Hate on him all you want to. He a Boston guy. Joe Rogan, Sarah Silverman, Jay Leno. Literally all the best comics come out of Boston, and it's just this amazing comedy city. It's really amazing. It means something there to do the Wilbur.

The Wilbur is that first step up into, oh, you're a theater guy. And then to do the Wilbur twice, especially in this city has produced like these comics that like, I've just been, you know, such a huge, huge fan of, it was, it was, it was a true honor. And I'm just grateful for everybody who came out and thank you guys so much for being there. uh and yeah i just i just want to say that it was just it was just truly awesome and i try to like reflect on

these times in the moment and um and we just had some crazy we had some crazy fucking shows man we had a guy propose to his girl at the first show that shit was crazy that's you know how big of a fucking fan of yours you gotta be and that's not even a joke man like i just did this you think about special things that's so dope for someone to be like that's not even a joke man like I just did this you think about special things that's so dope for someone to be like yo they have such a bond over Andrew Schultz

that he said this is where I wanna propose that shit wasn't just for him I promise you it wasn't it was crazy man that's dope man I think we'll probably post the video this week

absolutely fuck this guy's consent post the video you already gave that shit nah they get it yeah he married he don't get consent on anything when they said it to it

you done anyway so it was sick man it was just it was just so cool to do that Post a video. He already gave that shit. Nah, they get it. Yeah, he married. He don't get consent on anything. When they said it, you did. Anyway, so it was sick, man. It was just so cool to do that. And I'm excited for the New York shows. Excuse me. I'm excited for the New York shows this week. Akash, you're going to be there. Yep, yep.

And so, yeah, and Kaz, hopefully. Akash is going to be performing. But, Kaz, please be there in the audience, hopefully, if you're there. Actually, this weekend will be the first time I'm working with WWE again Oh shit okay I'll be in Chicago Oh don't worry about it then man Shout out to

You know I wanna be there Yeah yeah I wanna try and Make it there In some way shape or form Still trying to figure The way out But yeah I'll be in Chicago

Working with WWE Hosting Their Road to Survivor Series Show with Cricket Wireless Yeah yeah As talent for the first time With Survivor Series What they called Chris Benoit's family? All right, I'll see y'all next week.

No, that's what they called the Hart family. Yo, son. Fuck, shit. Anyway. So, yeah, shit. Fuck, shit. Anyway. So, yeah, man. It was just super cool. Thank you guys so much for all y'all came out.

We got new shows coming up. New dates. We're adding to the tour every single week right now. And then a cool little announcement coming up. There are two cool announcements coming up. I just got to for the right time to to share them with y'all but two two very cool things happening um but that should be in the in the coming days but uh yo theandrewschultz.com check out those tickets we just announced um we're at minnesota we're gonna do the film more out there but uh we got seattle uh Add a second show in Seattle, Neptune Theater. Go get that.

That's the seventh. Then we got Salt Lake City. We sold out the first show, so we're adding a second show there as well. That link is up. And then we got Vancouver. That show sold out. They don't want to add another one. We might do a little pop-up one on the side somewhere.

I got to talk about that because I know a lot of people have been asking tickets for that one. And then we got Edmonton as well. We got Louisiana talk about that because I know a lot of people have been asking tickets for that one. And then we got Edmonton as well. We got Louisiana. International Schultzy. Yo, man, we doing it, baby. We doing it, man. Yeah, so check out New Orleans. We added that one as well. Tickets are up. Go get them. Go get them.

I'll cost what you got. And then take us out of here, bro. December 20th and 21st I'm in Mumbai at the Habitat Comedy Club. Ticket link will be live on my website soon. Then into the new year, I'm going to be in Habitat Comedy Club. Ticket link will be live on my website soon. Then into the new year, I'm going to be in India most of December doing engagement stuff, so we're taking a little break then. Then the Big Desi Energy Tour picks up in the new year.

January 9th, Hilarities in Cleveland. Some people have already bought tickets. Thank you, guys. Appreciate that. January 14th, New Jersey. I'm in New Brunswick at the Stress Factory. That's my favorite club. Y'all got to come through.

Mad Desis. If this show ain't 60% Desi, I might cancel that motherfucker. When is it? January 14th. If I'm in town, I'm coming. Come through, yo. And then January 15th, I'm in Philly at Helium. Then January 28th, I'm in Tacoma

at the Tacoma Comedy Club in Washington. The 29th, I'm in Sacramento at the Punchline. Then the 30th or the 1st, I'm in San Jose at Rooster Teeth Feather. January 14th? January 14th, Stress Factory.

Stress Factory. I'm in there, yo. Let's do it. I'm pulling up. Let's do it. Anyway, go get them tickets. AkashSingh.com,

TheAndrewSchultz.com. Appreciate y'all so much, man. Keep supporting all the content that we got coming out. The dropping ins, the unsafe sets. We got some sexy shit cooking up, man. Can't wait to announce.

We love y'all. Keep it tight. Also, by the way, in case y'all were wondering, we're a top 20 Patreon in the motherfucking world. And we want to smoke with every one of them 19s. We're telling the patrons in the episode last Friday, we let them know that we're top 20. But we put the asshole army up against any of the old Patreon armies, okay? We want it all, and we're coming for it. We're coming for that top 10, and we're coming for that top 5,

and then we go on number 1, all right? So Chapo's Trap House is about to get chopped up. Let's go. We have a bigger army than certain countries. Yo, that's right. Apparently, we have a bigger army than Namibia, so we want to smoke with y'all too. Fuck up the whole country, yo.

Anyway, y'all, be good. Peace. God bless.