Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Top 5 Elon Musk RAGE TWEETS

Episode Date: April 28, 2022

Everyone is raging about Elon Musk Buying Twitter... So Schulz had to clap back at everyone whining... PUT COKE BACK IN COKE!

Big deal. A billionaire bought something. All you motherfuckers crying about it. We got the top five cries on the internet right now. Well, not all of these are cries. They're not? No. What the fuck did you get up, Mark?

Some people are supportive. Well, start it up. It's the top five things about what happened. Is that specific enough for all of you at home? Yes. Fucking Mark. All right. Caitlyn Jenner shows support for Elon Musk, and she said, we need a platform that is truly equal.

Thank you, Elon Musk. Yeah, obviously, she's going to support it. Why? It's obvious. What do you mean? You don't think she wants someone else driving a car? Murderous bitch. Okay.

Ice Cube shows support. He said, free at last. Elon Musk, take off my shadow ban, homie. Wow. Yo, did he just call martin luther king you know shadow band was the original name for nwa let's keep on going what's another one all right uh one of the people out that's crazy you're crazy you're a crazy guy okay so that is racist one of the heads at the uh anti-defamation league said that

he's concerned that elon musk is going to take over twitter because he's afraid that there's going to be a rise in anti-jewish extremism okay basically suggesting like he's worried that the freedom of speech will be quote like too free too free. Hacked account. No, it's not hacked. He actually tweeted it. Jews don't complain about free things. It's guaranteed hacked account. And this is what Elon's going to stop. What?

Elon's going to stop these bots and people hacking accounts and make sure you are you on the Internet and you are you on the Internet. Yeah. Instead of you always pretending to be bad baby. Yeah. I'm a bad baby. Stop it, Al. Al, stop it. Miles' soul is perked up for that one.

Come on, Miles. Stop it. Stop talking about bad baby. Stop it. Miles, you better fucking cut it out. You cut it out too. Al looking like Optimus Prime Why today why not every day it's the same body well because he's wearing an outfit that shows it off a little bit more Why can you hate it, bro? Fish boy. Don't call me fish boy.

Why are you fish boy? The Jesus fish? What? Oh. Yeah. You didn't think I was talking about the Lord and Savior. Yeah. Come on, dude.

That's what fish boy is. Famous sex worker and adult actress said, Free speech also means committing to not banning. Hey, shut up, bitch. Hey, I don't care what you guys say. No, she said you got to not ban sex workers on the platform. Your move, Elon. That's what she said.

Okay. They're not banned. Is she on Twitter? There's wild dick sucks going on on Twitter. It's crazy. Yeah, like, nah, crazy yeah like nah maybe they should ban some of it i don't know exactly what but it's kind of wild they should ban her why her because talking all that shit okay you're a sex worker yeah go to work

what's all this tweeting you doing right like stimulus she might be on stimulus or maybe disability now what do you think she's on disability from wait why do you think she do you think she has sex with like a triple baby dick triple b's baby you know big baller brand they put the trident in there yeah maybe yo that's crazy ariel's dad was just holding a triple baby dick that whole movie we didn't even know that's probably true okay okay this is the last one bezos okay apropos of something tesla's second biggest market in 2021 was china chinese battery makers are suppliers to tesla's electric vehicles do you think china is going to have more leverage over the platform bezos says interesting question did the chinese government just gain a bit of leverage over the town square haters son yeah come come on yo hater son come on yo hater son come on

that's hate right there big time how much he how much he uh have to pay his his wife in the divorce so like 120 million or something 20 or 30 something a billion yeah 100 yeah sucker i just said that's what's this divorce I think he's jealous because he had to pay whatever 40 billion dollars to his wife so he could have

free speech again and Elon only had to Elon only had to put 44 off a loan he ain't even paid nothing oh my god right

so this is some hating ass shit also where are all the products from Amazon where are they made at not in the USA oh shit

you selling just as much Chinese shit? Oh, that's a good-ass point. That's a good point. That's a good-ass point. I would argue more shit that Amazon sells is made in China. Definitely more. Are you leveraged, Bezos? To that question, do you think Twitter is now, or do you think China's in control of

the town square? I think Alan controlled his buff ass, bro. Why are you so thirsty for Al? I don't know, bro. What happened? Why does it bother you he's thirsty for Al? Why can't he just be thirsty for Al? It's just me and Al wearing the same outfit.

Mark, you're looking little next to him. You're looking little next to him. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Al looking crazy right now. Al is looking crazy. That's better, son. That's a little bit better. Look how small Al is. Al look like Sugar Knight, bro. No, no, son. That's a little bit better.

I look like Suge Knight, bro. Nah, nah, nah. Nah, you looking small, son. Nah, not Suge Knight, bro. What, no? I look like Tupac. A little, I guess. Shit.

I'm just saying, bro. I look in brolic. Whatever this fit is. What dude do you want to look like? Yeah, who do you want to look like? Who's the highest dude to you? Michael B. Nah, what's the dude? Michael B. That's a great choice. That chipped great choice too danny brown what are you talking about yeah i don't

know if you look like michael b you look like michael b pippen not how to say good jason derulo jason honestly i think you got jason derulo off of muscle no that's just because you're a hater that's just because you're a hater. That's just because you're a hater. Well, I'm a hater. Because he didn't laugh at your joke. Fuck you, Jason Darulo. How are you going to disrespect me on the MTV2? It wasn't even a joke.

It was just you saying his name, bro. Yeah, well, it felt like the right thing to say. That was fire. It was fire. What did he say again? He goes, okay, that was awkward. Right? Maybe it was. It was funny. Because he rolls with everything. He really did roll with everything? He goes, okay, that was awkward. Right? Maybe it was.

He's so funny. Because he rolls with everything. He really did roll with everything. He was racist. He picked on you. Yeah, he was racist. He picked on me. Go back to eating corn to Cobb.

I actually think we might have that footage if you want to reference it. Oh, come on. Now stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's... Come on, now stop. I always wanted to look at you and say, Jason Derulo. That was really weird.

It felt amazing. Yo, son. You didn't realize how weird that was, bro. I got hot. I got hot right now, son. Yo, you look like an apology, bro. He cooked you, son. Why he cooked me, bro?

I don't know, but the time and everything You gotta laugh though It sounded like you gotta laugh from people Yeah I gotta laugh It's called improv guys And then he got a bigger one That shit was mad awkward bro And he just left me up there son of a bitch This poor girl next to me was freezing

Every time that her teleprompter came on So I had to read her lines the execs were basically like yo if she fucks up just take over and read the shit jesus yeah this dumb girl so i'm carrying that dead weight right and then jason derulo want to shit all over my brilliant ploy which was to say jason derulo to him like that's genius bro when i was building up that creative when i when i sat in the creative meeting to think about idea no i would have said it the same way you got to get it off at least one time when you meet what i shouldn't have done is said it to him maybe not on air no you should i don't think you should

have set it up without i just really want to sing this to you. Yeah, that's true. You just did it? If I was like, hey guys, I'm Andrew Schultz. It's this girl who can't read. And Jason Derulo. In and out. That's genius.

That's genius TV creation. Basically, I was right there. Hey, Edison didn't get the light bulb the first time. You know what I mean? The fuck was he doing though It's not WD-1 it's WD-40 Oh that is actually Something you didn't know

They didn't ever have a WD-1 What did they start with 40 was the address of the factory That they made it at That's not true That sounded fire bro Bunch of losers putting up their L's, bro. They had 39 L's.

Why would you advertise your L's? Yeah, that's a decent point. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's WD even? Yeah. William David? No, it stands for water displacement.

God damn it, Miles. Come on. God damn it. Let me lie. Miles' shoulders grew when he said that shit right there. That was crazy, Seth. Miles, yo, nobody's stopping you bro nobody could stop you william wait what does it stand for water displacement displacement 40 40

god damn yeah yeah you ever have a wd colonic every night ow dude okay so can we discuss what you think about fake little Dirk popping out with 6ix9ine doing a whole video first off this dude if you haven't seen him he's just famous for looking like little Dirk yes perky-o kind of amazing yeah it's insane and he's got an accent he's like Jamaican or something like that

right oh maybe I don't know but this poor kid they run up on him and there's you know disputing uh i mean it looks as if six nine got help from steve will do it from the boys to get him involved and i don't know if steve will do it was aware of what six nine was playing to do but it kind of looked like they used Steve LaDue's clout to get him involved in this thing, and then they run up on him.

They throw the King Vaughn jacket on him. He doesn't really know that King Vaughn's on the back, but they just kind of throw it on. They're on some bully shit, and I kind of feel bad for this kid. He's trying to make some money on social media off of this lookalike thing, and then he gets taken advantage by one of Dirk's ops. Now he's trying to make some money on social media off of this lookalike thing and then he gets taken advantage by one of uh dirk's ops now he got to be on ig live like

yo i didn't know it was gonna be like this yada yada yada yeah it's tricky man steve will do it said if you can produce a one text message or one message of me telling you to come through yeah then i'll give you a million dollars now he could be like it could be a clever workaround or whatever yeah he's saying i didn't i didn't have anything to do with this yeah that's what i'm saying i think it was six nines people kind of organizing with him and then using steve will do it as like a bargaining chip right hey don't you want to create some content because steve will do it was like yeah i thought i was here to create some content with this guy yeah yeah that makes sense yeah that sucks as crazy as it is that you can be famous for looking like somebody,

let the guy get his bread. You know what I mean? If you want to bully another famous dude, you want to bully a little Dirk, fine. But this guy, just a kid trying

to make some money? Yeah. That's the thing though, anyone that scoffs at this is like, there have been Michael Jackson impersonators for years.

You know what I mean? They sell out, they'll do Vegas residencies just for looking like Michael. You also got to kind of do Michael. All of his impersonators got to do, they got to put on a fucking costume, they got to do the whole hip shake just for like looking like Michael. You also got to kind of do Michael. Elvis impersonators got to do. They got to put on a fucking costume.

They got to do the whole hip shake. He's doing Dirk. He's got his hair in like the twist. He's like he's going for it. I guess he's going for it. Yeah. Spit though. You got to see.

Yes. MJ impersonator could at least moonwalk. Yeah. You got to moonwalk. You got to be able to dance. If you can moonwalk, you deserve to make a living. Just in general. Yes. 100%. I think it's moonwalk. You gotta be able to dance, bro. If you can moonwalk, you deserve to make a living. Just in general? Yes.

100%. I think moonwalk is one. If you can moonwalk, you should make $80,000 a year. That's just a fact. You could learn how to moonwalk in like an hour. No, you can't. Moonwalk right now. I could.

I don't think you can. I'm telling you, you cannot moonwalk. I literally could. If you can moonwalk by next week, this time, I'll give you $1,000. I can moonwalk. Well, moonwalk well. Okay'll give you $1,000. I can moonwalk? Well, moonwalk well. Okay, now you see that's me. Moonwalk well means moonwalk.

Thank you. You can't have some choppy ass. You know what a motherfucker has a whack moonwalk. I can moonwalk on his hands. That's how strong that motherfucker is. You could do a handstand moonwalk 100% guaranteed. I don't know, but this motherfucker is strong, son. This is a strong guy today, dude. Yo, you could do a handstand moonwalk 100% guaranteed. I don't know, but this motherfucker is strong, son.

This is a strong guy today, dude. I haven't seen Al look this strong in a minute. Damn, bro. Something's up, bro. Are you on it? He's on the gear. No, are you on the gear for real? Always.

Gear. What's the other stuff? HGH. He was on the gear way back in the day. Remember when I had that fine ass Facebook picture? That don't count, though. I still think about that. That don't count, because I didn't know. I still think about that. You do mention it a lot. You do mention it a lot.

I'll bust a web on that chest. Tarantula. No, but that didn't count, because those were pills from GNC. Remember when Jordan was like, those will fucking kill you when jordan was like those are like those will fucking kill you and i was like what yeah i'm a lot when are you gonna start working out again akash probably never bro you had a good run i'm married bro it's over you're done or what

i'm married yeah i'm a married man. I'm a married man. When are you going to start working out again? I'm a married man. I'm a married man. I can't be tending these hoes out here. Yeah, for what? I love my wife. I'm faithfully fat. Yeah, exactly.

It would be disrespectful if you got super in shape. I really think it would be. Yeah. You know, for better and for worse. Sickness and health. Worse and sickness. These are both coming. This shit hard to stand in shape when you get old, bro.

I ain't going to lie. This shit, I got to cut everything out. The fucking diet. Work out all the goddamn time. Still nothing happened. Nothing. Yeah. Steroids, dog.

I'm kind of with it. You're looking good, bro. I'm all right, but I had to shut it down. No bread, nothing. Nothing fun. Son, you've been saying that for years son i'm a liar come on yo i can't lie lying is lit bro i love lying what's your favorite type of lie favorite type of lie white room yeah i like boldface oh what's boldface just a boldface

lie you just look at someone you lie to, but your face is super bold about it. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? In my whole life? Yeah. What's the craziest lie? Oh, damn. I have some good ones, bro. I have some good ones.

I'm trying to think. Oh, fuck. Craziest lie. I've definitely, as a kid, peed in the bed and blamed it on my dog. Oh, wow. 100%. Yeah. Because we did have a dog that would pee

in the bed and i was a latent bed water i went to that probably till i was like 1918 no i probably went to bed i probably went to bed so i was like that was probably like seven that was a boldface lie right there that was a lie to your teeth that's a different type of lie but no i probably did that and blamed it on the dog yeah and, yeah. And mom and dad believed it? No. They knew you peed. Yeah, this is the thing. I probably lied to my parents a lot.

Did they pretend? Because I'd pretend I thought it was the dog just to not make you feel like shit. They're peeing in the bed at eight years old. Yeah. No. Yeah, they did pretend. But also, they don't have a lot of tolerance to pretend. They pretended a lot.

It ain't that. Well, I peed it after eight. Okay. No, I think you... I dead ass peed it after eight. Okay. No, I think you... I dead ass peed it after eight. Guaranteed. Well, not drunk. That doesn't count.

No, I peed it at like probably 11. I wouldn't say that out loud, probably. Oh, no. It might have been eight. It might have been eight. Yeah, now it's coming back, right? No, I'm trying to do the math. Because I remember I had a bunk bed.

My brother was in a lower bunk. You hit the waterfall. How do you all kill your brother, though? I didn't all kill him. How do you do that? I hit him with the SpongeBob. I just soaked up the mattress and then the drip drip. No, I had to pee bad, bro.

And I was so cozy and warm. I didn't want to get down from the fucking bunk bed, dude. Yeah, but getting down from a bunk bed is a bitch. Yeah. So I let her rip. Wait until it got cold. Yeah. Chinese prison torture on Greg's head.

In the forehead. All night. Going crazy. Bro, I made him blonde. Yeah. Motherfucker came out jet black. John Wick. And I made that kid blonde, bro.

I was out here, man. Damn, respect. Mad phone with peace. Say what? Pionum Reeves. Dude, how'd you do that? That was a really good pun you did right there, dude. Thanks, buddy.

Thank you. That was really good. Pion? Wait, what? Pionum Reeves. Oh, Pionum. Not Pionu. Pionu Reeves would have been better.

That's what you said. Fuck, I take it back now. I take that shit back. Motherfuckers saying North Korean cities or something. That wasn't that great either. Fuck. We had a good run. We did have a good run.

Can we get it back? Who knows? It's really going to be up to Mark throwing out a great topic right now. All right, guys. We'll take a break for a second because some of y'all get high. You know what I'm saying? who knows it's really gonna be up to mark throwing out a great topic right now all right guys we'll take a break for a second because some of y'all get high you know i'm saying and some of y'all get high and you fuck your lungs up you fuck your throat up real talk and i'm not talking about fucking throw it up like johnny depp was saying amber heard i'm talking about a different situation

though amber could probably swallow this whole thing if we're gonna keep it a buck with you, her esophagus is the freeze pipe. Amber's esophagus is the freeze pipe. But if you want to smoke weed, you can't smoke it out of Amber's esophagus. You got to smoke it out of this right here. Or if you're going to smoke anything, to be honest. See, it's got these glycerin chambers right there. You keep that extra cold and it's going to be the best smoking experience you've ever had. Dead ass. Dead serious. Also, you can see mad cold and it's going to be the best smoking experience you've ever had dead ass dead serious also you can see mad planets here's the thing here's the thing here's the thing bro you didn't know that this is also a uh magnifying glass what's that kaleidoscope kaleidoscope not kaleidoscope dumbasses

listen here's the deal You want to see planets Give me that little part right there You want to see planets You want to stick things in your butt Come on Uranus Listen If you want to get high And not have your throat hurt

You can go to work the next day Or you get high at work Take this with you. Nobody's going to even notice it. Boom. Take that out right there. Suck on that. Put that back in. Smoke comes into your lungs super cold because these glycerin chambers keeps it

super cold and you know what? We're going to give it to you at a discount. Best weed smoking experience you've ever had in your life. Best. Okay? The best. 15% off. That's what I could do. That's the i could do where do they go they go to the freezepipe.com right now they use the code flagrant they're gonna get 15 off your first order that's the best i could do bro that's the best i could do you go 10 off i listen i can't go 10 i gotta do 15 i can't go 10%. I got to do 15% off, bro. I can't go 10%.

I got to do 15%. I got to do 15%. Can you go 8% off? Oh, let me think about it, bro. 8%? I can't go down to 8%, dog. I can't. I got to keep it at 15%, bro.

Dang. Yeah, we got to give them 15%. They deserve 15% off. You're a generous guy. Real talk. Have your mom sit on it. What? Not your mom, stupid.

Who's mom? I don't know. All I'm just saying is you can use this for so many different things. Keep this shit extra cold. You know what I mean? Mark probably stuffing baby dicks in this thing. Let's get back to the show. Hey, listen.

Let's get back to the show. If you got a baby with multiple dicks, don't let Mark around that motherfucker, bro. Yeah, I'll take 50% off that. Yeah. Let's get back to the show. TheFreezePipe.com, 15% off your order. Let's get back. All right.

Animal rights activist Sasha Zamel, dressed as an NBA ref dressed as nba ref arrested while protesting timberwolves owner glenn taylor for animal cruelty god damn bro did you see the video ran on the court and then this uh the security tackled her as soon the second or foot touches the court that's great god bless security right why is he why is she protesting him i don't know i don't know exactly what his like affiliation with protesting who the the owner apparently glenn taylor for the timberwolves oh because it's named after a timberwolf seriously no i'm not i'm about to say yeah y'all need some i'm assuming he's like in the hunting or some shit but i don't know glenn taylor roast animals alive

yeah i don't know. Alive is crazy. Yeah, that's a little wild. Yeah, that's kind of crazy. Unless it's like a lobster or something like that. Yeah, that's what I was just about to say. Oh, there was a bunch of chickens that got killed because they were like diseased. Delicious?

Also delicious, but no diseased. And they were left in a barn and then killed in that barn because they were all diseased and they couldn't let them back out. Did you hear about the chicken that lived for like a year or something with his head chopped off? Oh, yeah.

That shit could happen. What? No, it's just his face is cut off. Wait, I thought it was his whole head. No, I think his whole head was chopped off. He's still got a brain in there. They just cut his face off, I think. Go look that up because I'm pretty sure his head was chopped off.

Oh, I like this. Who's wrong on this one? Yeah. In the meantime, meantime can we play the video this bitch getting fucking speared yeah yeah she got a little dumper on her i'm not gonna lie she built like a little chicken boom okay that is great how'd she get them good ass seats yeah i, I don't know. Yo, is she getting dragged off the fucking court? Son, this is a playoff game? Yeah. Yeah. Those seats are not cheap.

Yeah. What if she just donated that money to animal rights? What if she bought all them chickens? Buy a bunch of chickens. Yeah, you could do that. Chickens are cheap. Chickens are super cheap. Yeah.

Save a bunch of chickens. Like, you could do so much more for animal rights than doing that right there that was for you that was for yourself yo that wasn't about nobody but you you wanted attention that's the armpit hair shit we was talking about all these girls with the armpit hair right that's for you you're doing that for attention yeah it's just attention that's your arm fighting back against a patriarchy. No, nasty. They just lazy. Say again? They just lazy. I respect that more.

Yeah, they just lazy. I respect that more. But also, armpit hair is more natural. Keep going on that. You're just a woman. You just let your body naturally be the way that it is. Yeah, what is that? What? Let's say you're living a natural holistic lifestyle, okay?

You're not taking birth control. You're brushing your teeth? Don't brush your teeth. Be natural. Take a shower? Yo, don't take a shower. Be natural. Why? Bathing everything's not natural you don't bathe with soap and water no your body has natural oils gorillas was doing that yeah they lick themselves and they eat bugs off each other all right so lick yourself to clean i bet ain't nobody licking you if you're not showering that's all i'm saying that natural

shit we have we have to accept as a society we're not natural. We got shit that we do. And women shaving their fucking armpits is one of them. And I don't want to hear no retro fitted justification. Too bad! Well, why don't you shave your armpits? Say again? Why don't you shave yours? I buzz them down a little bit.

Wait, really? Yeah, he does. I buzz them down a little bit. I got really long armpit hair so I buzz it down a little bit who does it for you or me I use my manscape your barber doesn't do it no I would never make him do that didn't dub do it for you he did do it one time he did why did you trim it say again why do you trim it because it's really long and when I close my arms like this it pops out like pussy yeah I never understood that shit because that shit in the mirror is all backwards you never tried to do

something in the mirror like when you go one way it really is the other way son this ain't a shape up bro yeah you're not getting a good line in it who's gonna look at your arm

and be like I got your edge fucked up son they would look at it like that you don't know people it's the same motion as putting on deodorant yo one day y'all

will figure out what I don't need one day y'all will figure out what the screw needed is to be me what are you talking about when I heard that story i'm like i'm just looking at dev i'm like i don't get it when i close my arms like this i got pussy hair coming out of my armpits but why don't you do it yourself i do now oh don't have to teach he taught me don't take your armpit hair virginity dog yes he did wow he violated you He violated you, bro. That's not violation.

I trim my hair up. I trim my pubes up now, too. I trim my armpit hair. I trim up. So, ladies, y'all gotta trim the fuck up. It is what it is. But you just now started trimming your pubes? I mean, kinda. I'm trying to get these sweet cock sucks up, dog. Anything I can do, bro,

is anything that I can do. Give a good butt cut down there, bro. A shower and everything like that. I'm out here. I make sure no toilet papers are down there. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes some toilet papers linger down by the balls. Get that gooch leg.

Yeah, that gooch. Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Hey, never. Them days is gone. Paint that jersey up From the rafters The Goochlick days is over You know what I mean

What's that What's that We're not raging Against the machine Florence And the machine Yeah He just lost me there bro

He lost me there I was watching his lick Yeah The Goochlick days are over The Goochlick days are over Yeah Yeah That's a farce Hell yeah You haven't heard her remix About the Goochlick days are over. Yeah. That's a fire.

Hell yeah. You haven't heard her remix about the Goochlick days? My girl got so pissed at me because today I sat down perfectly on the couch on a Reese's Cup from last night. Oh, no. I just left it out on the couch and sat perfectly butthole directly over it. No. And sat for like two hours and I get swampy. And it just melted into the couch and sat perfectly butthole directly over it. It sat for like two hours and I get swampy. And it just melted into the couch? It melted everywhere.

It melted. Onto you? I mean, I'm done. Unbelievable amount of mess. I swear to God this is true. This happened an hour ago. So I stand up after just like sitting there. I would be relieved it was Reese's because it would look like you shit your ass. It looked like I shit my ass. I think he's shitting. He's trying to claim Reese's. And you blame me on the dog but you don't have one so you have to say it was Reese's. your ass it looked like a shit my ass so I sit down perfectly asshole over the

Reese's Cup yeah I sit there like three hours so cat I don't see a big black Reese's sitting on a fucking it was a wrapping it was an orange wrapping okay it was even brighter no no it was you weren't wearing underwear I was that's the thing if I wasn't wearing underwear I never would have noticed I think would have gone straight up and I would just been gone forever I think it would've just been, that would've been a little Hershey's case. How fat is your ass, bro? That's the crazy part. So my girls already kinda know it because I'm like, I'm doing work in the morning.

He's such a, he's such a, he's such a cat like his recess. There was a thermos on the couch, I found it without going, completely devoured the thermos. Who put this deal in my house? What's happening? Who peed in my pants?

What's deeper? His ass or Amber Heard's throat? You got up. The whole couch came with you. I'm sitting there. I'm not really paying attention. I'm doing work. So she's already like, oh, I thought we were going to have breakfast.

I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm a little busy. I'm already eating. And I just stand up and she's like. And then she looks. She's like, did you shit yourself and i turn around i was like oh my because the craziest thing in my mind is that sometimes i will wear underwear for a day or maybe even 48 hours and so like it won't it'll just be a little dirty and then because i'll

go to the gym and i'll forget and i won't necessarily change so if she asked me the question i can't i can't always say no you know so asked and I go, I don't think so. Which is honest. Which is an honest answer. And I turn around, find the whole Reese's cup. I look at my ass and I was like, oh no. She was like, oh, that's so funny. She thought it was hilarious.

And then she looks at the couch and the couch is destroyed. No. Wait, the restoration hardware couch? The restoration hardware couch we had to fucking cut up to get up the thing is all leather. And it's just oil all over the couch, like seeping through in the perfect shape of my asshole. No! It's like a Rorschach test. It's like the perfect imprint.

It's like a fossil from like the Trezoa period. You think when she looked at the Rorschach, she saw divorce? Exactly. Can we see a picture of this? I know you took a picture. No, I'm going to ask her to send a picture. Tell her to send a picture right now. my god did you shower afterwards no this is the craziest part as i stood up and i was like the craziest i was like damn this is so annoying

pulled my my fucking underwear off breezy's all over my asshole bro it went through it seeped all the way through the Chinese Me in the middle of the country with the railroad What does that have to do with Irish and the Chinese You and the Reese's met With your doodoo and the Reese's they met They combined forces Oh you thought it was a double up So yeah that's how I started my morning

That shit was shit It was Reese's cup we have them before bed Nah bro I hope we get reese's cup i am mad at you though because it's a good if you want to try to explain how i shit on this soap no i did it was really truly reese's yo this guy's crazy but also i love reese's so i'm not mad what i don't even know what to say why would you lie on them like that why i like why i say reese's yeah why do you say reese's don't ask al al says most

words wrong you literally said mirror before you said mirror to start the podcast what i was like what's a mirror and you're like yeah like when you look in a mirror you look in a mirror no mirror it's a mirror nah you say that retarded Reese is your right Reese is your right you can't get shit out you're not gonna say most words wrong he's trying to say it

as right as he can say it say it say it mirror mirror mirror there's an A and then an R and another A

fuck yeah how about that mirror that mirror that alright okay and another egg. Fuck yeah, niggas. How about that? Mirror that. I think I said that. Mirror that, right? Okay. Can you please find us a fucking topic?

That was a great topic. That was a great topic. Can you find one more topic, son? I was just trying to get my gooch licked, okay? Oh, that's what we was talking about, man. Yeah, you ever put peanut butter

on your gooch and then you try to let the no gooch licks, bro? Son, y'all gotta get your gooch licks back, son. Yo, I need to get my shit back, bro. I need to throw my legs behind my head. Like, what up with it?

What up, though? What if I did that? Do you think that'd be kind of fire? Let's go. Put a Reese's cup on there. I'm telling you. Hell yeah. Oh, baby, my legs are locked behind my head.

There's only one way to get it all back. With the key. You need to unlock it. You need to unlock that key way to get it all back with the key you need to unlock it you need to unlock that key oh baby where's the key yo that's what we should do role play yeah sick ass role play i'll play a dude who has his legs locked behind his head and you play a girl that just loves licking goose all day every day nine to five five to nine again and double duty on the duty What's some shit that Harry Potter call the whole crux or whatever the whole crux yeah just say what

You had like you didn't know dude that was gonna say sorcerer's stone at first But I know if that was it yeah, of course that would work. That was good, too Yeah, oh yeah, dude Of course. That would work. That was good, too. But the horcrux? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. The gooch lick, bro. We role playing, man. Sometimes I got to lick my own fingers and rub my own gooch. I finally found a story. This is so crazy. What? That's just fire, bro.

Nah, it don't hit the same, bro. It don't hit the same. It don't hit the same, yeah. If you double lick, because that's like if you lick, wipe, lick again. Oh, no. I don't run it back. That's crazy. Yeah, that's stupid, bro.

Since we're telling disgusting stories, I gave myself a colonic. Did I ever say that here? What is a colonic, though? I actually don't really know that. It's like an enema. Yeah, just like water just fills up your lower intestines and then it just keeps oh but you have a bidet so you do that yeah but i've trained my asshole to let it go in and it holds it in so how much water can you store up there i don't know exactly but What the hell are you talking about, bro? We good.

So how much water can you store up there? I don't know exactly, but it's a lot. You got to do that with one of the African villages. He walked eight miles from the well and fed the whole village. I bet you I got the cleanest asshole. Hands down. So you take up all the water. You can hold it up there.

Yeah, just for a little bit. And then the pressure builds and then you flush yourself out. And then does it work like that? Yeah, that's what a colonic is. Yo, can we just acknowledge as straight men, as heterosexual men, that water up your ass feels fire? Yeah. That shit feels super fire, bro.

But also, I love chicks and straight porn. Yeah, we love chicks and straight porn. But also, when you're on a hot tub, and you just move up near one of them jets. Right, though? Right, up near one of them jets. Right though? Turn on the jets. Turn on the jets. That's gay to make a sound. That's super gay to make a sound.

I think I'll make the noise. I think you'll make the noise. When you're in the hot tub, right, and your friend's like, yo, it's not even hot, and you're like, it tub right and your friend's like yo it's not even hot and you're like it don't matter it's gonna be we get what we want out here we get what we want why does the jet feel crazy good yeah why is that that's a little too high power right there you having it in you. You're storing water. That's what's happening to the hot tub, man. You getting nutted in.

You're a fucking camel. I don't get nutted in, fam. What you talking about? You getting pounded, son. The hot tub is breaking your back, son. You getting pounded. Ain't nobody breaking my back. I'm throwing it back on it.

That's all you got, Whirlpool? Hey, Whirlpool, That's all you got, Whirlpool? Yeah. Hey, Whirlpool, that's all you got? You are taking Japanese games. Yeah, you're taking little jets. One time I hit that shit too hard, I flew, son. No, no, I jumped out of the chair because I blew it off too hard. Because you came so hard?

Yeah. What happened? You jumped out of the chair because you was nutting. You was nutting. Oh, you were trying to wash Reese's off your ass let me guess how convenient so we all shit son you ever try to come back in a bidet to

fight it yeah you thought you ever hit him with a you thought you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying yo we shooting back today but they oh you never did yo what was that sound you just made that's how he laughs though he lost his laugh oh he lost his magic really yeah i got long

covid bro oh long COVID took it? Yeah. Damn, bro. I only just heard about you had long COVID. I gave you that shit a year and a half ago. No, I got COVID for the third time. Oh, jeez. Oh, no, you don't have long COVID. You just got COVID again. I had that shit like two months ago. Yeah, I was sitting right next to you.

I was like, yeah, I got that shit. Wait, you had COVID again? So I told you. I walked in here. I was like, yeah, I think I think i probably got it oh but you didn't have a confirmation of it no no no but i just felt all the symptoms and shit so you didn't have it you didn't do a stay at home test or anything nah you ain't got if you don't test you don't got a stay home test i'm just you still fucked up you might as well find out what's going on if it's bronchitis you'd be all right that's long autism but that's what he got yes he that's's bronchitis, you'd be alright. That's long autism, bro. That's what he got. That's what he has, bro. That's long. How do you autistic and unvaxxed?

That's crazy. That's really the worst of both worlds. I'm gonna get vaxxed and get normal. Yo, I was about to say. That might be the trick, bro. That might be the trick. Nah, it's gonna take me to the next level. I'm gonna get down, so. Yo, I was about to be mad sensitive. I was about to be Elon Musk up in here.

I'm so excited for you say again also i'm not that weird by the way uh we're not that weird for thinking that down syndrome was the lowest part of the spectrum it's like mad people think that shit i hit someone who i can't say who and they were like yeah i thought that's what it was why does that matter if you can't say who it is because when i tell you guys off air you can be like oh shit well how would you give us a hint real talk you don't know what it is you know come on man context clues you dummy you dummy yeah come on come on forehead don't do that where you squint bro like that looks too crazy squint like that he does look like a whale look at him bro yo do that again you look like you could blow o's in the water

all right i got a hypothetical you're not allowed to answer alright go you have to have sex with two people and their combined age is 30 years old yo son that's crazy bro you is wild yo this guy's episode

baby dicks now you like come on there's no possible way it can be yes that's why it's a crazy hypothetical you can't answer yes There's no possible way it can be yes. Yes. That's why it's a crazy hypothetical you can't answer. Yes, you can. No. I got it. Oh.

40? A 30-year-old and a zero-year-old because it's in the fucking belly still. Pregnant. Hey, hey. Yo. Yo. 30-year-old pregnant woman. 30-year-old pregnant woman.

Yeah. Done. Got him. Ah, life begins at conception. Yeah. Does it not? There you go. Oh, that's a good- life begins at conception. Yeah. Does it not? There you go. That's a good ass point. Does it not? Nope.

No, a zero. A zero. A zero. That's not an age. I think you got it. That's not an age. No, it's not. Zero's not an age? No, it's not. How old are you when you're born? You're not. You're just a newborn. There you go. There you go. You're a newborn. That's your not. You're just a newborn. There you go. There you go.

There you go. You're a newborn. That's your age. You're just a newborn. I got it. You're just a newly born. Nah, you're just a newborn. How old? If you smash your wife to smithereens the night before she pushes out the baby, right?

The fuck? What? That's just crazy. That's supposed to induce labor. The night before she has the baby, if you smash, right? Yeah. Come on, bruh. Come on, bruh, what? Come, if you smash, right? Yeah. Come on, bro. Come on, bro.

What? Come on, bro. That's what. Hold on. That's what Koreans do. What are you talking about? That's a 30-year-old. Yeah.

And a zero. Yeah. No. It's a fully-formed baby, yo. Nah. It's the night before. Yeah, but you're not having sex with the baby. Yeah, exactly.

That's a good-ass voice. You told the baby, yo, open up. Y'all crazy, bro. The fact that y'all even answered that, y'all are crazy. No, you are. You're having sex, and the baby is there also. You're having sex with a baby. You're disgusting. You're not penetrating a baby.

Yo, are you having sex with a pregnant woman? Are you having sex with a baby? No. Hey, y'all are doing it together. It's a threesome. Low key? It's a threesome. I think you're having sex with a baby no y'all doing it together it's a threesome it low-key i think you're having sex with a baby bro as well yeah pregnant women are so tight listening to this shit right now not getting no dick for nine months oh they wouldn't yeah because you'd be having sex with a baby around because now the baby's around now guys aren't gonna want to do it and now they're gonna be like oh shit nine months look what you did unless they name is mark

why wouldn't you say 40 why wouldn't you say because then it's more fun yeah why do you say okay pick two people you want to fuck in your head it could be anyone oh actually 100 is good combined age you know combined age is 100 oh see how that flipped on you do you do 50 50 well 40 is just easy you're gonna do two 20 year olds oh you don't get to pick the ages though yeah it could be 28 year old and a kid nah now it's dangerous now what you're gonna do you don't just automatically say yes combined age of 100 go what do i smash yeah 99 or actually no you know this guy is filth this guy no i know i realized how that could be bad now that i thought about it how you fuck a zero year old science is going too far bro science is going too far we got it okay abortion with the dirt

100 years old what's it what's your split 250 year olds nah 30 and 70 i think it's just j-Lo and a difference what's J-Lo I don't know I think she's like 60 or something no she's not this bitch been around for a year 52

she's 52 so you got a knockdown of 48 as well yeah I can find a nice 48 that's true like I think 50-50 is where you go

like you find the finest 50 year old and then you find the next finest 50 year old and then that's easy light work combined age 150 now we're talking that's crazy you gotta go 75 75 yo betty white was still alive i'd do that you would take down betty why not for the story come on take down the golden girl bro that's the golden girl wow boy i don't know if i'm having sex with betty white story bro say again she's almost 100 so your next one's 51

yeah but then that's fine then you take down jaylo yeah exactly bang betty white jaylo wow you wouldn't fuck betty white to fuck jaylo nah why they gotta be women they gotta be women? I never specified. They gotta be women? Who's the oldest guy you fucked? George Clooney been aging pretty well. He's been aging pretty well. Speaking of which,

the former oldest person in the world passed away like two days ago. I saw that. Betty White? 119 years old. Oh my God. Go down. She looked like a croissant. Look at that girl.

Yo, look at this. La Cologne almond croissant looking ass lady, bro. I'm about to dip her into a latte. Shout out to the dad, bro. Yo, go back to her, though. That is crazy, bro. That makes you look like the Grand Canyon.

Come on, son. Zoom in on her, bro. That's how much he misses bread right there. I really do miss bread. Come on, bro. Look at her head. Oh, my God. Look at her head, bro. That's the Himalayas.

Go. Go crazy. Go crazy. That's not bad for 119. I'm going to be honest. I mean, the hand looks all right, but that forehead right there look like Elon about to land a rocket on that motherfucker's neck.

Golly. Oh my god. Yo, shouts out, bro. 119 years old. 119. Good for her, though. Yeah. That motherfucker just wasn't counting back in the day, bro. You'd think people was counting how old you were back in the day. Can you do that? Probably at that age, there gotta got to be something you can do.

Really? Cut her in half and just count a ring? Yo, is that insane? I'm thinking that shit, right? Just chop her in half like a magician and count them fucking rings, bro. I was thinking of bones, but that was

way better. You can do it with the bones too. Come on, bro. Yeah, you can figure it out. I would love to. I believe it. way better. You can do it with the bones too. Come on, bro. Yeah, you can figure it out. I would love to. I believe it. What are you going to do with her body? What? What are they doing with her body?

Oh, is she going to get buried or cremated? I don't know which one exactly. Yo, I don't understand burial. All right, guys, we'll take a break for a second because I got to make sure you're eating good. Okay? If you're eating good, you're feeling good. If you're feeling good, you're fucking good. If you're fucking good, then you're eating good you're feeling good if you're feeling good you're fucking good if you're fucking good then something else is good dude my ad reads are amazing bro did you see what i just did right there bro i left it up to you choose your own

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anyway go do that right now freshly.com slash flagrant that's 125 off freshly.com slash flagrant now let's get back to the show yo i don't understand burial don't get it what do you mean he's gonna be buried in the ground that's it what are you talking about they have to get cremated cremate the body get rid of it you guys throw it in a river though taking a mad space yeah return it to the earth i ain't gonna make that mistake wait wait wait hold on a day you don't understand burial yeah but you believe in returning things to the earth i just don't understand burial because of the amount of space it takes up to have the cast yo back in the day it was mad space space. Back in the day, but still?

Well, yeah, a lot more people cremate now. Now you should cremate. A lot more people do now. That's the move now. But back in the day, there was just mad room everywhere. It was like, all right, we might as well just bury this motherfucker. We think they're going to go to heaven. If there's so much room, why are white people always looking for new room?

Say again? If there's so much room, why are white people always looking for new room? Let me think on that. Let me know when you get there got him more room per person yeah i love personal space son we really do dude it's a thing but it is nice though it is i can't hate it's nice yeah once you get used to it is nice yeah but you go to indy you don't get that shit ever ever you think that's why you guys cremate maybe no i don't think population was always crazy i think it was just i don't think you started out cremating cremating is some barbaric shit bro what do you mean no it's efficient but like you have your moms right there and you just go all right light it on fire like it takes time to get there. The initial thing is to preserve it.

If you look back to like Egyptian societies, right, they preserve shit. They will take everything to the afterlife. If we really believe in afterlife, I don't want to be Ash there. I want to be me. Well, we believe in another life. Oh, so your body is worthless because you're going to be in a new vessel. Yeah. And once your soul has left your body

okay it's done so that's why you guys do that shit it's not more efficient it's just like that thing is useless we believe in running it back so any society that believes in running it back is like yo bury me like this give me the jewelry give me everything heaven like that we we have like a sequel they have a completely new game exactly yeah that's why it makes sense so that's why for us it's barbaric and for y'all you look at us like you idiots yeah why it makes sense So that's why for us it's barbaric And for y'all you look at us like you idiots Yeah yeah yeah that makes sense We're looking at y'all like

You could go to heaven why are you burning yourself I'm trying to get a new body bro watch I can't wait to get a new body Kill me tomorrow I'll take a 5.9 right now A 5.9 You give me a 5'9? I'm not being greedy.

I'm not being greedy. I'm not even asking for much. 5'9, average build, let's go. Yeah. I'm good. I take that. The world is yours, bro. Yo.

Nobody can stop you at 5'9, huh? I would be unstoppable. 5'8, you can stop me. So, and Vala had like a visceral reaction. He was talking to something. I forget exactly what's about height and he was like he was like he was like yeah if i was just like somebody said something if i was like six foot he just goes he goes if i was six foot if i was six oh man like it was like he was like, like that was the only thing

stopping him from being Genghis Khan or something like that. You know the way people talk about like billionaires or like, they all come from rich families. Give me two million dollars, I'll be Donald Trump.

That's how you feel. That's how short people talk about being six feet. They're like, if I was six feet, whole world is my oyster. I'll do whatever I want to. I'd be in the NBA.

Why? So he could learn how to like develop skills and that kind of thing? Personality. Yeah. Like Messi is like the legend. Yeah, you don't ever hear anybody being like, if I was six foot, I'd be boring as fuck. I would have nothing to offer anyone.

That's the truth, bro. If I was six two, I mean, he's not funny. He's not good at editing. Wow. That's what he is, bro. I actually had this thought about you. Not charming, not charismatic. All his best qualities doesn't got him if he's six two.

You know what I mean? That's true because he had to develop those. He's just cleaning up. He's out here cleaning up regardless. So what type of fucked up childhood did I have

that I had to develop all these as well as being tall? Damn it. Fuck! I think it is. It's New York. Holy shit.

Your whiteness meant nothing in New York. Oh my God. Being tall, everybody in New York is tall. Bunch of black people walking around all six foot and taller. Sorry Al. You almost New York is tall. Bunch of black people walking around all six foot and taller.

Sorry, Al. You almost got there. Respect. It's all good. Yo, that's a great ass fucking point, dude. Yeah, dude. If you grew up in Indiana, you wouldn't be a comedian. Yo.

You'd be selling insurance. I'd just be white. Yeah. That's enough. Yeah. Selling insurance, voting Republican. Yeah. Damn, son. You might be right about that. insurance, vote Republican. Yeah. Damn, son.

You might be right about that. I'm telling you. Yeah. You got a lot of time to think when you're 5'7". You know what I mean? Yo, I have a great opportunity for you. Go. Warren Buffett is auctioning off one last private dinner with him.

Okay. The most recent one sold for $4 million. Okay. The money all goes to charity. He's raised $35 million in total at these private one-on-one dinners. I don't want to go one-on-one. But you as a primary shareholder at Berkshire Hathaway, I think this could be a good opportunity for you to talk to the manager.

But I don't want to do it one-on-one. Why not? Because what if you miss gems and then you just fucked? If there's two, three of you, you guys got it together. Yeah, it's like I don't want ten people, but exactly. Like two, three total from completely different walks of life and completely different interests. Because they're going to ask some questions that I might not even know that I want to know the answer to. You know what I'm saying?

So it's like, yeah, I'd like two or three. And ideally not fucking assholes that are going to monopolize like i would like to monopolize so i need to do the most of the monopolizing exactly some giga chads or whatever some jeffries just some fucking square ass jeffries that are there just pull up and yeah just pulled up but that would be kind of cool yeah that'd be kind of fun. I think you would enjoy it. But how much do I got to cough up? Last one for four mil.

Yeah, four mil. That's the thing. You're going to feel pressure to get four million worth of information out of it. I'd pull up a fucking notepad recorder. Also, what game is he going to kick you for four mil? Bro, something. Really? Five million dollars worth of game.

What? What is he going to say? Five of them podcasts. Yeah, what is he going to say that isn't in his books and shit? Yeah. That's my number one question. Hey, tell me something that's not in your books and shit. Oh, that's a mil.

That's worth a mil. Easy. Easy. Yeah. Perfect. Hey, the last guy who bid, what has he done since? That's what I would also like to see. Oh, that's 500K right there.

Get your value, son. Get your value. That's smart. And if he hadn't done shit,'m good i pass on this but if he making money let's do it also i'm realizing you might not like this because i think he picks the restaurant and he's taking you to mcdonald's for breakfast yeah don't do that i'm a humble billionaire shit with me buddy if i'm spending five million dollars to have dinner with you then i'm picking the restaurant yeah 100 we're going to vaselka why vaselka it's like a diner yeah because it'd be fire warren buffeted yourself yeah fuck yeah um listen do we have one more thing before we uh yeah apparently biden has

started his uh his first traditional pardons since trump oh who's he pardoning? So he pardoned... Kodak Black or fucking 21 Savage, whoever Trump... You're gonna have to pardon his son, bro. Real tough. Yeah, he commuted the sentence of 75 non-violent drug offenders. Okay, that's lit. There's a secret service member. Weed, I hope only.

Yo, I'm curious... Yo, you're selling crack and you're getting pardoned that's a little crazy you're selling weed but you're not here's the thing my bad al yeah that was yesterday didn't mean to do that to you but here's my thing though with the pardoning with the weed folks like i i understand like the government is making money off of weed now so it's kind of foul that there are still people in jail for weed crimes but they're not in jail for weed crimes they're in jail for breaking the law yo shut up i know that sounds corny but like just talk me out of it like uh give me the other perspective it's logic but just shut up that actually is the best

way that's exactly how i feel if it's something that we feel probably should have never been illegal and they locked up disproportionately black youth and just like you know the whole 13th thing then the idea is like all right well let's just make it right now let's give them an opportunity to make some money because this is an unfair law targeted toward them so now let's give them an opportunity to get a leg up because we fucked our whole lives with this it's like should r rose parks had gone to jail it's like yeah bro she's sitting in the seat you know like why are you sitting in the seat that's for white people yeah it's like that's that's a dumb law but that law is that's actually unconstitutional yeah the law that weed is legal is not unconstitutional good counterpoint some would say mark please i don't think so

it is unconstitutional it's unconstitutional if you're looking at all you know men and women or whatever created equal etc so they found that those laws that were racist were unconstitutional so you you reverse those laws saying that a drug is illegal is not unconstitutional law and these people are violating that law it is a law that was probably passed with like lobbyist money and shit like there's no reason weed was illegal and alcohol was legal well alcohol was so that's the other thing that i want to present it's like you have these people that probably did time for bootlegging and these families that are looked at as mafia families etc for bootlegging should we rewrite the wrongs that like now that the government is making money off

of liquor then maybe we owe an apology to the fucking kennedy family whoever these famous bootlegger families are and all these people that got their apology but yeah i'm giving i know i don't want to be maybe i'm being too serious about it and that's why it's not making sense but i i'm literally was just kind of like thinking about yesterday. I was like, they knew it was illegal and chose to break the law and they're getting punished for that choice, not because of the product that they sold. It also depends on what they're using it for. Like if

it's like medicinal and they're like in the 60s and like, yo, this is the one thing that calms my whatever the fuck. What if they're all Rastafarian? It's part of their religion. It's a religious thing. Yeah. Well, every single one. They're all Rastafarian. It's part of their religion. It's a religious thing, yeah. Every single one. They're all Rastafarian. What if they want to go to a concert and not talk to anyone for four hours?

Like, ow. Yeah, what if they want to do that? Is that what you did? That's what I did? Yeah, you're going to defraud them of weed? That's what I did? I wasn't annoyed at two fucking bozos high off their fucking line. You just stood there for four hours.

Just doing stupid shit no we're not spitting you guys were spitting we're listening to the baby the baby concert yeah yeah see the baby brings that out of you yeah i don't know i guess it's. Another person he commuted was a black secret service agent. The first black secret service agent. Oh, what did he do? He was the first black secret service agent and then went to prison for bribery. He's probably doing that shit for a president.

You know, if you're secret service, you're bribing somebody. I got to protect these corrupt ass politicians for a career? I'm sure he's greasing wheels all the time. Yeah, I don't know exactly what it was, but it was, according to the charge, it was bribery. Yeah, he was charged with trying to sell a government file in exchange for a $50,000 bribe

in 1964. Oh, goddammit. Nah, nah, keep that motherfucker locked up. 1964, what was it? What was on the thing? Keep that motherfucker locked up. You gotta stay locked up. He said he was framed.

He was framed. And they were able to convict him because he was one of the few black people In the White House Damn he's still there 46 years So I'm saying it was 1964 He's 86 now He missed some racist ass years though

It was so much better than that It was protecting him from all the racism that was out there Okay One last thing and then we're out of here all right one last thing sorry everybody at home i know you want us to stretch this out but we have one last thing that we could do we all shared an embarrassing story akash akash share an embarrassing story i already told y'all when i shit my pants come and do the podcast did you actually shit i actually shit i sharted yeah you already did that yeah you do we need another one okay come on son i peed the

bed when i was like 13 okay okay that's pretty good i was dreaming yeah and i was dreaming that i was using the bathroom and then i woke up and i was like I'm not in the bathroom I'm asleep on my stomach was crazier I've never been drunk so I just peed the bed sober 13 years old no reason that was pretty good that was okay okay I'm gonna I'm gonna save your story I had a wet dream that was fire three days ago. Wow. That's saving my story. You're a grown man. Had a wet dream.

38 years old, busting off in the nighttime. 38 years. And this is how fire was. First of all, I was, I was, I don't know what.

Yeah, it was super. And it was a, it was with a girl that had no face. And it was a faceless girl. It was a faceless girl. I've had one of those. I've had that. And it was a faceless girl. I've had one. I've had one. I've had that one.

It was a faceless girl. That's the greatest thing about it. Like literally no face at all. I've had that. And I was about to prematurely ejaculate. I was about to prematurely ejaculate. Just all over her nothing. All over her no face at all.

Screen mask. Total screen mask. And then I went, yo, yo, quick. Give me your hand. And it was like the second the second i know that's what's even correct so i was quick see what i told you i saved it i told you i'd save it i was like quick quick give me a head

went and it's like barely even touched the lips that weren't even there yeah bus bus bus bus bus bus yo yeah yeah then how'd you flip it when you woke up woke up woke up crazy and your girl's like oh what's that what's happening no i was in vegas i was in vegas after the poker tournament shit. Also, that's the firest way to nut when I'm not with my girl. Yeah, because then it feels like you got something done. That's fire. She got to be happy, too. Oh, you miss me so much, you just bust her, huh?

Yeah. Yo, you need to head so bad, dude. Real talk. Yeah. As a game, we might just have to come through for our boys. Real fucking talk. We might just have to come through for our boys. I think talk. We might just have to come through for our boys. I think y'all might, dude.

Yo, is there a fleshlight for your gooch? We might have to come through for our boys. Yo, is there a fleshlight for the gooch? I need that, yo. Yo, one of them flesh silos with a little tickler on the bottom? That's it. Like that? Hell yeah.

Hell yeah. I just put it together. Say again. The Reese is on his ass, and he got a cat with that rough tongue shit i see what you do it's like you sat on your cat is that what you did look my cat sat on your fucking on the couch and i sat on that's what it was gooch licked by your fucking cat you like a You like a sharp tongue on your ass Why? No I don't No you're the type of guy

Like a shark tongue on his ass My cat doesn't even like peanut butter Nah your cat loves peanut butter No my cat doesn't like peanut butter Or chocolate I love peanut butter bro Come on That's not a stereotype

Yeah you do They're like milk You put a little peanut butter right here A little milk right here And then you slowly lead your cat to your ass Yo my dog be trying to suck my dick all the time And I say no for real

I'm like get off me is that shit everyone comes to us have me before where like a dog would just come

and sniff my dick super hard and then I get insecure because I'm like what are you sniffing so much no because your dick looks like dog food

I shove peanut butter in there like a dog toy it's like a Kong it's a Kong toy there like a dog toy? It's like a Kong? It's a Kong toy! It's a Kong toy! Oh my god. Guys, this has been episode flagrant two, alright? You're welcome.

What is it? Irreversible. What is it, Clay? Unforgivable? Unforgivable. Put it in reverse, Terry. Put it in reverse, Terry. There's little explosives all around you. Put it in reverse, Terry. Put it in reverse, Terry. There's little explosives all around you. Put it in reverse, Terry. You're already crippled. You're about to be missing. Turn off the episode, Miles.