Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Transvel Mcguy feat. Francis Ellis & Yannis Pappas

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: being pro climate change, people faking trans, Mario Lopez stuck in a pickle, the flagrant thought of the week, and much more. INDULGE!!!

What's up everybody and welcome to another episode of flagrant to no easy buckets analysis by assholes water cooler commentary for your sports needs I'm Andrew Schultz real quick that I realized we got a fan on are we cool with that fan on are we taking that fan out yeah the fan is coming out I'm Andrew Schultz I'm here Akash Singh I'm here real life Kaz yeah I'm here with Alex media and on the ones and twos. We got the dynamic duo behind the microphone and computers again, and we have a special guest. We got my boy Francis Free Ellis, man. He is free. The man is free as free can be. He is here. We're going to get to that in a moment because you were free the last time you were here, but you were more distraught. To get to that in a moment Because you were free The last time you were here But you were more distraught Yes But we're gonna get to all this In a second

I just wanna start this lead up So today we're doing A nice marathon episode Of Flagrant Sioux Now what does that mean? That means that we're recording Our regular episode And our Patreon episode

At the same damn time We got Francis with us Giannis Papas Is gonna join us A little bit later And we're also joined By Knob Creek Yes

Courtesy of Ed and Martinez. Ed is coming through with the whiskey. Okay? We've got the best, worst whiskey selection of anybody that I know. This guy right here, what we decided to do is, I don't know if y'all were here

for the last drunk episode, but we decided to do another drunk episode. Yes. Did we do that Patreon or Raycon? It was Patreon, yes. It was Patreon. Now, we're going to drink into Patreon, meaning as we approach full flagrancy,

what is that terminal velocity? As we approach terminal flagrancy, we're hoping that we will be at the point of Patreon so our careers are still intact. Facts. That is the goal. That being said, we were not supposed to start drinking prior to the show,

and we did. We did. I asked you. You did. I said, do you want to start drinking now to the show right and we did yeah we did okay i asked you and i said is you want to start drinking now or do you not give a fuck and then you got i got a rhizonic i don't give a fuck bro so we're gonna have some fun today now real quick to start the show why don't we do a nice little cheers let's do a cheers man i got a little coffee here akash is not drinking for religious reasons does your religion say you can't drink yeah well you're not supposed to.

I might get more caffeine, though, later. I might have Ed and run down so I get caffeine high with you. Okay. You'll have some sort of high. That'll work. But the religion says no drinking or no? Yeah. We have religion and also genetics.

No, no. I understand genetics, right? Indians in general, both of y'all, not very good at the drinking, 100%. Right. But I wanted to know if it was a religious thing as well like alcohol reached alcohol as well

you're not supposed to it's not like but alcohol existed in India it made it to India yeah yeah absolutely it's a bigger deal in Islam it's not as big of a deal in Hinduism like because of the excess

or is it sinful or it's just I think yes the idea of just chasing like pleasure like that but in Islam they break that rule everywhere

I mean it's like you know certain countries are far more relaxed about it the Muslim people I know in America you are so much

more Islamophobic now that you're free of post-war you'd be surprised you are so much dude now that you're unrestricted

now that we have Francis Freedom Ellis on our hands dude like came right off the bat anytime I see some like halal guy taking a break to pray in the middle of the day, I want to kick him.

I want to kick him, you know? That food is disgusting. It's disgusting. Wait, you don't like halal? Street food? I'm in New York, Ryan. You don't eat halal. I have one experience with halal.

He's a nutmegger. He's from Connecticut. But I mean, you've been here long enough. I've been here, like, nine years. Oh, yeah, he's from Vermont. Maine. Same thing, man. You've a nutmegger. He's from Connecticut. But you've been here long enough. I've been here like nine years. Oh, yeah. He's from Vermont. Maine. Same thing.

You've got to partake in some good street food. We don't know what a gay-ass, white, fucking liberal arts college states. You know the whole state is a liberal arts college? We're talking about Massachusetts. You don't really count anymore. Bernie Sanders Orchard is really where I grew up. It is Orchard. But yeah, no, the difference between Maine and Vermont, okay, Vermont is all trees and

maple syrup and inland, right? Yeah, yeah. And some rivers. And Maine is very coastal. Lobster. It's fairly beautiful, yeah. Lobster men. A lot of beach.

A lot of beach. Beautiful. Good chowder. I've surfed in Maine. Great chowder. Have you? I've surfed in Maine. Wow.

Wow. There was a beach. Do you remember what it was called? Do not remember. Scarborough. This is the whitest this podcast has ever been. Oh, boy. Oh, it's about to get whiter.

You guys should leave. You guys should leave. We should have yesterday. We're catching a wave here together. And I'm excited to be here. This is, oh, I knew it was going to be good. He's on fire! Come on!

Like one of those churches used to burn. This is, oh, I knew it was going to be good. He's on fire! Come on! Like one of those churches used to burn. Guilty as charged with burning churches. What do you want to do? So Francis, as you guys know, is no longer with Barstool. He is out there on his own. You celebrated leaving Barstool in epic fashion, I thought. How so?

Well, you went on this amazing vacation. My boyfriend. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My boyfriend. He went to France for two weeks. France, two weeks with his girlfriend. Gets fired, goes to France for two weeks with his girlfriend. Well, you booked this even before, right?

It was a trip I had booked long before. Well, we don't have to tell the people. You're telling them the marketing. Some people could be like, oh, I'm not into it. But it says a lot. They're like, no, fuck it. I'm going to go and enjoy this. I was conflicted.

I was. But the thing was, I had already paid for everything. So there was no conflict at all. Yeah, but you go, and then you're like, I don't even think I should be posting shit. Why not? Because if you... You don't have a boss to you're like, I don't even think I should be posting shit.

Because like if you. You don't have a boss to upset. No, I know. But like, you know, the whole rhetoric I was trying to put out there was like, I'm sorry, which I know you guys don't agree with. Yeah. That's not true. I liked your apology. Yeah, you gave them their pound of flesh and now you go to France with the rest of your flesh. Anybody who had any actual common sense could know, like, oh, yeah, clearly this guy didn't cause the –

like, don't be mad at the person that actually didn't do the heinous crime. I thought you went to France to search for the missing girl. Was that not – Oh, no, I don't think she could afford to go there. Come on, let's be honest. That's ridiculous. She wasn't doing that well. She wasn't a Delta Gamma.

There we go. You see those pictures of her? It's like a six. Can I tell you this? If your article was this funny, you wouldn't have gotten fired. I know. Okay, so you're out there on your own. You have this great vacation. we were talking throughout the vacation.

I thought it was actually a great idea because just like in any breakup, there's that little kind of depressing part. And if you're filled with distraction every single day, which is what a trip often is, it's the best possible thing. Was it that or no? I would say that, unfortunately, I was probably more distracted while I was there with issues of being back home and everything than I was sort of brought away by the vacation. Let me pause for a moment because we have people who might not be familiar with you. We might have new listeners. We have a lot of people listening to this podcast. I want to give a little context.

Francis Ellis was working at Barstool. One of the elite at Barstool. Probably top blogger. I wouldn't say top blogger. Maybe top writer. Top writer. I didn't have the highest numbers, but I think I was recognized as being a very good writer. Very good writer.

Stand-up comedy. The brand believes in you so much they give you stand-up comedy special filmed at the Wilbur in Boston, available now still at Barstool Gold. Yeah, still are. Didn't take that down. No, they didn't.

Gotta get their money. Still want show clicks. So, and then this horribly inconvenient connection of events happens and you write a blog about a girl who went missing thinking that they found her, they were gonna find her turns out they found she was dead

it looked like you're making fun of this dead girl, you get fired immediately and then go to France three days later now we're back to where we are now you're on your own we're making fun of dead people. Just want to make sure everybody has context. No, I appreciate it. We're making fun of dead people.

I just want to make sure everybody knows. And for the record, legally speaking, I actually asked my lawyer about this. I said, you know. What did your dad say? Well, he said, pay him what he wants. He's been working with the family for years. Take it out of your trust fund. Not a big deal.

Yeah. Just don't invade the principal. It's heavily invested. It's kicking off like 4% or 5% a year. That's too high for most of y'all. Y'all don't even know what he's talking about. Don't invade the principal. Now, but that's also real fucking talk.

Don't invade the principal. Hell yeah. That was a real deflect just now. Hell yeah. I respect it. Continue, continue. So, where were we? What were we talking about?

You were talking to your lawyer. Yeah, the lawyer. And I said, because, you know, the one thing I was worried about was that her family, the woman's family might, you know, come after me, sue me, whatever. Right. And he said, oh, you don't have to worry about that, because legally speaking, you can't actually defame a dead person did you know that did not know that isn't

that amazing you can never get sued for making fun of somebody who's dead because you don't know how they it doesn't hurt their reputation well also you don't know if they would feel defamed or not maybe they would like what you said you can't speak for that person right now what if you're speaking about the estate? That's what I was going to say. Michael Jackson, all that stuff. I just saw Once Upon a Time in Hollywood with the Tarantino film. And there's a scene in there about kind of like making fun of Bruce Lee where he gets his ass kicked by Brad Pitt's character.

And his daughter came out and was really pissed about this shit. So I guess the estate of Bruce Lee, is there any way that is illegal? Don't hug, bitch. It's a good question. I didn't dig deep enough. But as I said earlier, I don't think this girl has much of an estate. I'm like a chef. I think she's Bruce Lee.

That's that white half crying right there. Get out of here. Come on. Okay. So now you're back. You're on your own. You started. I mean, I hit you up today because I wanted you to come out because I noticed you started a new project.

Yes. And I really appreciate that. First of all, Schultz has been like my guardian angel through all this. He's the best. He's good for that. Keeping me afloat and assuring me that life goes on. Does. So I really appreciate that always.

And, you know, he and I had talked a lot about what was next for me and I had said I really wanted to start a podcast and I had this idea and then he went and absolutely tore down Montreal so while he was away

I just got things up and running he's not wrong so I've got a new podcast. While he was burning Montreal to the ground, you were building up. I was building it up. Now, listen, this is a type of show. We're not like a pluggy type of show. But the reason why I want to bring it up so you didn't have to is because, obviously, I love you.

I think that it's great. But you're doing it with another guy who I really love as well. Awesome. Giulio Gallarati oh i love julio so when i saw this in the poster i was like you guys post a flyer and the idea of the podcast is very interesting you're interviewing people who have like almost lost it all or have had big career have lost it all career fuck--ups. Career, marriage, personal life, the biggest mistakes that people have ever made, how they

came back from them, what they learned, how they dealt with them, how they rehabilitated their image. I love this because this will be accidentally the funniest podcast because it's not manifested humor. Talking about your biggest

fuck-up in life is inevitably funny, especially if you're willing to talk about it. You've dealt with all the fuck shit about it. And the bigger the fuck up, the better. I'm very excited for this. I'm intrigued. And I think it comes at a perfect time. Not excited enough to do it? Meaning I hope I don't have to do it?

We're going to ask you. We were hoping you'd be our first guest. Let me fuck up first. We could invite Nicki Minaj stans on there. Wow, you need to get Nicki, man. Imagine. Meg Thee Stallion trying to save her, trying to prop her back up. She tried.

I hate that. I don't know why she's doing that. She's just a sweetheart, though. That's why I like her. I'm not familiar with that. So Meg Thee Stallion. We're talking about the other half. On the other side of the tracks, Liv.

Yeah. But, yeah. The other side of the tracks. So, am I supposed to explain this now? Yeah. Okay, yeah. I want to know about this. Two female rappers.

Female rapper. Nicki Minaj, obviously you know who she is. She's had a fall from grace. There's a new female rapper that's popping right now named Meg Thee Stallion that is incredibly charismatic and she's having

a moment and Meg is kind of letting Nicki Minaj ride her moment a little bit so they're just keeping Nicki Minaj around even though

Nicki's really done you think she's done oh yeah I think the peaks are done it's like your dad asking you about music it's like when a dad

tries to take interest In your interests Oh it's Megan The The With two E's Such a father Absolutely

No I mean like I think Nicki will be good For like a guest verse Here and there But as far as like You know people like Checking for her new Albums and shit

I think that's done Man that's crazy What It was not Like not that long ago That she was cranking out number one hits. Yeah. It's a volatile industry, man. You know that better than anybody. This is true.

It's here today, gone tomorrow. I don't know. So the thing with Nicki, right? The thing that really got Nicki fucked up is that maybe it might have been different for her own, how she personally thought, but it never seemed like she kind of embraced other female rappers. It was always like, I am the queen, I am this, I am that. She used to shit on Lil' Kim, Cardi B,

everybody else. Now Cardi B became huge, kind of held the same aggression towards it, and then Meg Thee Stallion got huge, and all these other female rappers kind of got big without her help. So now it kind of almost seems like she's just like, well, I will do anything to stay relevant.

How do Cardi B and Meg the Stallion get along? They get along quite well. Do they? Quite well, man. Did you pronounce both E's on the? I must. I feel compelled to. That's the proper pronunciation.

I've done Shakespeare scene study. That's where that word comes from. I'm not going to do it wrong. You think it's Shakespearean thee. Like Megan You Stallion. I thought you got to hold like a... She just leaned on the E key too long when she was like,

you know, getting a podcast approval or whatever. You got to hold the skeleton up when you pronounce it like Megan thee. Why do you think she has two E's in there?

To a rapper, they can't spell shit right, bro. That's corny. Megan thee. That's any. Megan, that's a strange name. It's got to be T-H-A or T-H-E-E. You got to be unique with it. I think it makes you say the. Megan the Stallion is

the. It's like the Ohio State University. 100%. That's what it is. Pronounce it like that. So, we often start this podcast with a flagrant take of the week. Great. Everybody has your flagrant take of the like, okay, I'm going to start doing it. So we often start this podcast with a flagrant take of the week. Great. Everybody has your flagrant take of the week.

Now, I'm going to ask you guys, and you guys don't have to contribute in this at all. And I just realized now I shouldn't have been drinking. But later tonight, I have to go film Comedy Central's show at the Comedy Cellar. Nice. Cool. Looking forward to that. Don't. the comedy seller.

Nice. Okay. Looking forward to that. Don't. But I do it because I love the guy who's running it, Ray, Aruba Ray, shouts Aruba Ray, and obviously the comedy seller. They never pick any of my shit because I guess we have a little beef. So I think it'd be really funny if we take, I'm going to tell us the topics and then we give the most flagrant takes on these topics.

And then the craziest shit, I'll just go try to record on a national television show. This is fun. I like this idea. Do you not have your set prepared? No. But you already get higher ratings than Comedy Central. What does it matter? I mean, let's have fun.

It's like a rub in professional wrestling. You does it matter? Yeah. I mean, let's have fun. It's like a rub in professional wrestling. You're giving them the rub. Giving them the rub. What does that mean? Yeah, you're giving them the rub. Like, if you're hot, like, you go and give somebody some heat. It's a rub. That's the thing.

But they're not going to use me. They don't use it. They don't like it. Because their thing, and I don't knock this. I think this is actually smart. It's like they're invested in building talent. Yeah. They're not essentially invested in the best talent on the show. Okay. They're invested in the talent. They're not essentially invested in the best talent on the show.

They're invested in the talent that they can build. So if they're going to put someone on their show, hopefully it's someone that will be on other shows that they have. That's what they were trying to do with Dina. So do they sign? I'm not super well-versed. No, you just get a day rate. But they're going to go,

okay, this person we have on this other show, so let's give them some shine here. Like a retainer sort of thing. Kind of. Or maybe they have a deal that they're hosting another show. You want to give options. Basically, what is a topical show? Every week, you have to come up with ideas. I haven't even

looked at this list. 16-year-old Fortnite champion wins $3 million. Wow. He's going to get molested a lot I went immediately to molestation But As well

In my head I think there's an Epstein flip In it Somewhere Do you know what I mean? Like You can't pay that kid off You can't

Yeah, yeah, yeah You can't give him hush money He doesn't need it It's also like The reverse Epstein Like older women Are gonna be trying to fuck him hush money. He doesn't need it. It's also like the reverse Epstein. Like older women are going to be trying to fuck him and we're all going to celebrate him for it. That's what the reverse Epstein is.

That's what I thought you were getting at. There's something about that Epstein. There's something about that Epstein sex dungeon or there's something about... Because he had a dungeon on this island. Did you guys hear about that? Yeah, yeah. Why do you need a dungeon on your own island?

He owned the island, right? Yeah. In case anyone misbehaves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It happens. It's actually the most important thing to have on your own island. That's your jail. That's how you got to keep order.

Does it come up on Google Maps or nothing? Underneath? Yeah. The top. Okay, I'll just go through different topics. Mass shootings in Gilroy. Did you guys hear about this? I did hear about that.

How common are mass shootings? I didn't even hear about this. Oh, it was at a garlic festival. Really? A garlic festival. Was it a vampire? Nice. Dragulus is fucked.

I'm surprised they gave you that as a topic, though. Well, this is just everybody gets the topics. Yeah, but I'm saying that Comedy Central would put a mass shooting headline as a play with this suggestion. It's shocking. Bachelorette finale? I've never seen an episode of

The Bachelorette in my life. My girl would start watching it. God damn it. I wish I did that. Shark week? We'll love sharks.

Baby shark. Do your shark joke. I could do the shark thing. Oh, that's fun, dude. That's a great joke. Chumming. Chumming the waters.

Chumming the waters. So good. Supreme Court rules Trump can use Pentagon funds For border wall Yo on some level You gotta respect

Trump be getting shit done Bro He really get shit done Like He's like I want the wall They're like Nah he's like

Bet You know what he used You know what he used To get that done The art of the deal He really did Son I got a shit

You got a shit Yeah that fucking whiskey bro That shit ran through me You had two sips of whiskey I think cause I had coffee before then got a shit? Yeah that fucking whiskey bro That shit ran through me You had two sips of whiskey I think because I had coffee before then Go shit Go shit Oh man

I remember my first whiskey Right? Kaz over here lightweight I'm gonna piss again later Why don't you put in that coffee? I don't know Untuck your shirt though man I don't know what the fuck you're doing

With your shirt He's about to Okay It's Shark What is it? Did you ever hear of Donovan McNabb? What? How he never untucked his shirt.

He would show up to practice with a t-shirt tucked into his shorts and all the other players would make fun of him for it. But he refused. He refused to change. That's probably where he and T.O. started beefing. T.O. was like, I can take this guy down. Fuck out of here. I wonder how much of that is the beef in these like football practices.

I wonder if it's just that. It's just like, I could beat, if it's just primal. It's like, why do I have to care about you at all? I could beat the living shit out of you. Yeah, there's something about it. I mean, as a quarterback, especially, you got to have everybody, you got to be the alpha. All right. That's fair.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea to go through these. We tried. Give us a couple more. Okay, Alaskan glaciers melting 100 times faster than previously thought. Hottest, Paris, hottest ever in recorded history. Fires in the Arctic. Climate change. I'm always very pro climate change.

I don't know why. Like, because it only affects people we don't care about already do you know like like i hate that we just start caring about there's people in the northern arctic and it's like well we haven't brought them back yeah move yeah like these people who live on these little islands and they like fish for a living it's like we haven't tried to help them in any way shape shape, or form. Why the fuck now do we all of a sudden give a fuck about these people? We do not care. Do you care about Eskimos up there?

I couldn't care less. Yeah, so this is good. I like this. Do you care? It's like, is the thing that's going to cause you to move out of the Arctic really that your backyard is an inch closer to your porch because the shelf of ice is melting away every week? Or is it the fact that nobody has worn a bathing suit and there's no sunlight for your entire

life? There's no Wi-Fi, no fucking Netflix. Is that really what you needed to move out of there? You're saying that if the situation in the Arctic wasn't enough for you to move, nothing's going to make you move. Yeah, right. We're not going to feel enough for you to move, nothing's going to make you move. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.

We're not going to feel bad for you given that you don't care about what's happening in Last Chance U. We don't. They live in Last Chance U. We don't care about them. Stop motivating. That's the thing about this climate change shit is like we want it. Like here we want it. Do you not want it?

I want the climate to change drastically to get hotter yes oh i want a 60 degree december but that's not what it's gonna be what is it gonna be it's gonna be 115 degree summer i'll take it dude it's awful i'll take two months of shitty i'll take two months of shitty for 10 months of good okay but then the other implications are that you're displacing tens of millions of people who will move here. Dude, when we want a basketball team in a neighborhood, we just displace people.

And that doesn't even make the temperature go up. I'm just saying, imagine the winter got a little bit more bearable, right? And spring was summer. Two months out of the year, we hang out with the fucking Eskimos. You know what I mean? Say what they're up to.

Take a little cruise. And they're all gone. Everybody makes this big deal about the Eskimos. It's getting warmer. That's their biggest problem. Doesn't it really... If God is doing this, he's probably looking at us like,

you fucking idiots. I'm fixing everything here. We're worried about people in Arizona. You shouldn't live in Arizona. I think the reality is that doing this he's probably looking at us like you fucking idiots i'm fixing everything here we're worried about people in arizona you shouldn't live in arizona i think i think the reality is that you're talking about patterns of weather that will become so like uh volatile you're talking about way more hurricanes uh flooding i mean that's another one we got to talk about if you know the hurricanes coming every year yeah don't be shocked be shocked. It's like, you're in a, you're in an abusive relationship with

mother nature and you are not, you know, moving on with your life. He's great to you 340 days a year, 355 days a year and then five to 10,

he beats you. But like, it's good. Imagine the residents. He beats me because he loves me. He beats me because he makes it warm.

It's like being Melania Trump probably. You know what I mean? No. He's great, you makes it warm. It's like being Melania Trump, probably. You know what I mean? No. He's great, you know, but sometimes you got to put up with some bullshit. You know what I mean? Yo, 100%. And also, don't know when she'll feel bad for Melania at all, because her sister, Svetlana,

Oh, that bitch in the Ukraine. Still where she's from. Yeah. And that's all you got to say about that. Yeah. Happily married, where you from? And the president's wife? She's getting trafficked over here as we speak. Biowife.org.

That's it. She don't even got a com. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Maybe. Maybe there's something there. Maybe there's something there about this.

I think I got to go with that. We are making a big fucking deal about the blessing that is global warming. Absolute blessing. I know the beauty is- Who has died from global warming? Give me one person. Redheads. Is that true?

Let's say diminishing ozone layer, much harsher sunlight, people getting redheads. Get them out of here. I get rid of them. You're giving me another reason. Absolutely. That's what I'm saying. Okay. You're saying no more redheads.

Yeah. Okay. Hold on. Hotter winter. Hotter winter. Right? More seas to sail. Way more seas to sail.

I love sailing. Son, it's just improving whiteness. We get those redheads out of here. We got way more seats to sail. Right? We can't handle winter anyway. No, I guess we're good with winter. Summer's where we fuck up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe we'll get some tans and shit. Yeah, you also, you can, after it's all melted, you can drive everywhere, pollute all you want to. Because it's like, well, we've done the damage. We've done the damage. Let's take, why are we taking the train? This hot ass train is 180 degrees down there. That's a great point.

Let's just take a car. Once we melt these motherfuckers, we back in the hummer. We need to speed up global warming. V12. V12. Let me ask you,

I know we're raking jokes, but let me ask you another question. I'm ready for this shit, son. Son, I'm ready, son. I'm ready. I do have a question, right? Okay.

Which is, the big argument is that you know the earth will become uninhabitable for future generations and we're not talking like 3 000 years from now we're talking 100 years can i can i be honest with you if we're being very honest i'm like low-key and environmentalist i'm like gay like that but like i don't care somebody litters or whatever but like robots are going to kill us well before the environment ever does. Robots are going to kill us in 25 years. And then they're

going to fix the environment. They're going to be like, oh, guys, if we just kill the humans, everything is fixed. Everything. We're a cancer. You just remove it, and then it's done. It's a defeatist attitude, with respect. And the question I have is, do neither of you want to try to try to what? With respect?

To try to what? To try to set it in a better way. To try to right the ship a little bit. No! For what? Again. Frank! You have to understand.

Frank! Frank White. This is the real Frank White. He's Frank White. That's another thing about your name. Is it a nickname that's longer? No, Francis is the real name. Francis is the real Frank White He's Frank White That's another thing about your name Is it a nickname that's longer? No, Francis is the real name Francis is the real name

Frank is the short Okay, good I should have known that It's okay So, this is what I'm being I'm being 100% serious I cannot think of a single One reason

I cannot think of one single reason Why global warming is bad Not one That's crazy. I know you're not being serious when you say that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not one. That's nuts.

No, no, no. Look, I'm racking my brain thinking. This is me thinking. Well, okay. Your building's underwater. What? Your building would be underwater. I'm on the eighth floor.

All right. How are you going to get out? Boat. Yo, like the eighth floor. All right. How are you going to get out? Boat. Yo, like, y'all are crazy. Yo, let me ask you this. Yeah. It's 12 feet of water, right? Okay.

So you can't get to the front door without swimming. Okay. Elevator probably ain't working. Okay. You're on the eighth floor. 12 feet of water where? Just on the streets. On the streets.

Okay. Why don't we put some thing up? If you just put thing up, then you're good. The water can't go. What's the thing? The same shit you put in an outdoor pool. Just make America outdoor pool. Make America swim again. Make America swim again. No, it's not.

Because it's going to have outdoor pool. If you're telling me that the water rises, everybody gets an outdoor pool. No, no, no, not everybody. You get an outdoor pool. Everybody gets an outdoor pool. No, no, no, no. Not everybody. You get an outdoor pool. You get an outdoor pool. Right?

This is what we do. I already calculated it. It's a big lazy river in New York City. We're going to put an outdoor pool on every little coast. Every coast, it's going to be a wall. We're going to build a wall around America, all of it. I know, Ed, and I'm sorry. So that the fish don't come, nothing comes in, right?

We're going to build that wall. We build it 12 feet or however high the, what's and I'm sorry. But so that the fish don't come, nothing comes in, right? We're going to build that wall. We build it 12 feet or however high the, what's it called, rise. We're good. You think the wall's going to keep water out? Son, that's what walls do. You never seen a pool? You never seen... Come on, dog.

I gotta go. You're not talking about like a little... This guy's crazy. Somebody like pointing a hose at america and being like i hope i get them it's not a tidal wave it's not like the movies it's slow shit drips look at that that's that's evaporating right look look look look at this so scientifically off base no it's not it's scientifically on base look at that this is boom boom boom boom that's a little bit of water, right? A little bit more water

My point is it's not gonna be 12 feet at once it's gonna slowly melt So we're gonna be able to build at one foot then the next year build it two feet the next year both three feet eventually It's well talking about building like a levee around America What happens with the levee breaks? It's not good. When has that ever happened? Have you,

have you, did you go to the beaches as a kid? Say what? Did you go to the beaches as a kid? I had a beach once. All right. Do you remember when like

you would start building your sandcastle, right? And then the tide would come in. What is going on today? I got you. The tide would come in, right?

And you'd be like, oh shit, the water's coming. I want to protect my sandcastle. So you'd start building like trenches to or or walls right but ultimately you were no match for the power of the ocean can i throw one idea out yeah we don't build it with sand we build it with concrete and some shit that doesn't move so that it blocks the water like if i was if i was building some

shit to keep water out, I could do it. I mean, there's liquid that's inside this cup. We could build it out of a cup. A styrofoam wall. We could do that. That's effective. All I'm saying is it's not going to get through.

Tell me I didn't figure out global warming. It's like all we're worried about is water, Francis. Water. It does seem pretty silly when you put it that way water and Inuits and then these motherfuckers that refuse to move they don't even know what's going on out here dog they don't even know what's going on well it's like

it's huge metropolitan areas like Houston New Orleans we were just in Houston. Houston's good. But I'm saying like after the reason that hurricane was so bad, it's like, yeah, theoretically you should evacuate Houston. But it's very hard to evacuate whatever is four or five million people. Can I tell you anti-global warming and then pro-global warming?

Anti-global warming, my folks live in Houston. It is flood prone. Pro-global warming. When the hurricane came, my parents, I was calling them. I was freaking out. And they were like, this is great. This is just like monsoon in India. They were so fucking third world that the hurricane didn't affect them.

They were like, I got time off work. The weather is perfect. They said the weather was perfect. They were like, we're opening all the windows. We're not turning on the AC. We don't have power. Don't worry about it. I love it. Fair enough. I concede.

I give up. I'm just saying there's certain things that we don't have to consider. You good? Close the door, though. Close the door so that fucking stench doesn't come over here. All I'm saying is... Careful now because that cord is connected to the camera. You're good. You're good. You're good. It was just on your foot.

Listen, I think that I figured it out reasonably. I think there's still something to that to the camera. You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good. It was just on your foot. Okay. Listen, I think that I figured it out reasonably. I think there's still something to that three... What's it called? You trying to get me more drunk? I'm not going to get drunk. I'm already wiling. This kid who's 16 that got three million? Yeah.

We need to talk about him. Yeah. We need to talk about him in a real way. Yeah. 16 worth three million. Yeah. 16 worth 3 million. Yeah. Okay. If that's your kid. Yeah.

Did we talk about this yesterday? Yeah. A little bit. We touched on it. We touched on it. Taking his money. Yeah. Right.

Hold on. If you divorce the wife. Oh, shit. What happens with that? You're saying the kid goes with which parent? No, who owns the kid's money? Like, do you own your kid's money? Or does your kid own his money? I think it's

probably in a trust until he turns 18. Would be my guess. Okay, this is a separate question, but somewhat. If you got trust fund questions, that's your guy. Got you. So here's a question I have for you. You know how they're like letting little kids be fucking trannies at three years old now? Did you hear about this? Or the AC Slater.

Oh, the Mario Lopez. Mario Lopez said the most reasonable thing. AC Slater, the man of reason. Who would have thought? Candace Owens is talking about some fucking – she's talking about these people who let their three-year-olds start to transition. They're giving their three-year-olds start to transition. They're giving their three-year-old hormones. He goes,

I'm not telling anybody how to parent, but I just feel like at a certain age at three years old, you might not know exactly what you want to do with your body.

Therefore, maybe we shouldn't be making those decisions. It could be dangerous. It could be dangerous. It's like if you're letting three-year-olds decide lifelong choices.

We don't even let kids buy cigarettes until they're 18. They can't do shit. We cut off a dick at three? So true. Like, fuck.

Like, it's just shocking to me that you as a parent would want to be woke so bad. I wanted to be a Power Ranger. You'd sacrifice your fucking child

to be woke. Isn't that selfish? Yeah, like, I wanted to be a Power Ranger when I was three years old. What about when your kid goes, I don't want to eat. Your parents didn't hand you human growth hormone.

Here you go. Go fight with Zordon. Figure it out. You want to be yoked out of your mind? Come on, dude. Oh, boy. Hilarious. Let me get this straight. You're not old enough to go see the new X-Men movie, but you're old enough to cut off your dick.

Dude, yeah, it's absurd. Well, I don't know that they're letting the kids have gender reassignment surgery. No, they're not chopping them up yet, but they are. How they identify. No, and they're giving them hormones. Are they giving them hormones? Hormones, wow. That seems crazy.

He's a girl and he's your son, whatever. I don't give a fuck what your kid says he is. All these kids have like a tomboy period. Every kid has some kind of weird period, okay? But when you start giving the kids hormones, you are a psychotic lunatic. That's too much. You're a fucking...

You're abusing your child. That's child abuse. If you're giving your kid hormones at three years old... If you think your kid is old enough to make any decision on his own, you don't deserve to be a father. You just don't. Oh, I looked at my child and my child was swimming in the bathtub and looked up and said, Mommy, I'm a boy. And that's weird. Boy, keep going down.

I'm curious about this. I'm trying to understand it myself. And please don't let me into a whole group. I'm kind of blown away, too. Look, I'm never one to tell anyone how to parent their kids, obviously. And I think if you come from a place of love, you really can't go wrong. But at the same time, my God, if you're three years old and you're saying you're feeling a certain way, or you think you're a boy or a girl, whatever the case may be, I just think it's dangerous as a parent to make

that determination then. Well, okay, then you're going to be a boy or a girl, whatever the case may be. It's sort of alarming. And my gosh, I just think about the repercussions later on. Is that not the most reasonable fucking statement? Holy, like, and they killed him for that shit. You want to cancel him for that statement? They're not going to cancel him. They're going to try. These guys are losers.

The fact that they're trying, even. That's insane. Dude, here's the shit with the whole trans thing, right? You have a mental illness, okay, where you think you're in the wrong body. The only way we currently know how to treat that mental illness is by you getting gender reassignment surgery, which if it's your body, you're not hurting anybody. Go for it. 100%.

Do that. That's fine. When you're at an age where you can make these decisions yourself. Yeah. Don't make that decision for anybody else. else i mean if i'm a parent and my child does a lot of girly shit and a lot of boy shit i don't think it's really fair to make that be who they are for the rest of their fucking life allowing them yeah you're not allowing them the opportunity to grow into their own individual as an adult yeah like if my girl like if my little girl grows up and like she starts doing some some boy stuff

i keep it in the back of my head but I'm like, okay, that's something. And then when she gets like 10, 11, 12, 13, maybe when she's at, and then she's still doing those things, I'll just, okay, all right, I see where that's at. But to make that decision at three? That's funny. I would still wait till 18. Am I crazy?

Be an adult before you make this decision. This is not, yeah, sure, you feel a certain way. Can you wait a few years? Life between 1 and 18 is not nearly as long as it is between 18 and 90. Forever, yeah. So if you can wait these few years, you got 62 years of being who you really feel you are, 72 years, whatever it is, go do that.

I'll give you that. That's it. As a parent, I'm saying let's just wait, please. No, that's good. I'm curious i i think there is a huge difference between a parent saying oh you think you you identify as a girl great go for it yes right and like that's fine go whatever cool but if you're actually handing them chemicals where we don't necessarily know how lasting the repercussions are.

Irreversible. That's what I mean. You're bringing to them what I can only imagine. I don't know pediatricians that are prescribing hormone-imbalancing changing pills to three-year-olds. You shouldn't give any voluntary medicine to a three-year-old. If my three-year-old is at the doctor, he should be sick. What I'm trying to say is when do you not listen to your kid? to a three-year-old. Like, there's no fucking... If my three-year-old is at the doctor, he should be sick. Fact. Yeah, fact. What I don't understand

is like, when do you not listen to your kid? Like, if your kid's like, I don't want to eat that. I just want to eat candy all day. Are you going to go, okay, you eat candy?

Have some Sour Patch Kids. Yeah, why are you giving your kid autonomy on his life? He is not old enough or capable to even do that. Yeah, that's just bad parenting at that point. Dress however you want to.

Put on dresses. Fine. You feel this way, let's go. But hormones? Cut that's just bad parenting at that point. Dress however you want to. Put on dresses. Fine. You feel this way, let's go. But hormones? Cut that shit out. Cut that shit out. What you mean? Cut that shit out.

What you mean? Stop that shit. Listen, if that's what you want to do, great. But I'm not going to make some decisions for you. You don't like cross-dressers? Cut that shit out, bro. That doesn't hurt anybody. Yeah, it's horrible.

That doesn't do anything. You didn't walk in heels in your mom's heels when you were growing up? Nah. Never? Not one time? My sister used to dress me up in her leotards. is bro this doesn't do anything you never you didn't walk in heels in your mom's heels when you were growing up nah never not one time my sister used to dress me up in her leotards and we would choreograph

full dance recitals in our living room and look at how I turned out I'm pounding puss on the reg bro totally straight straight as can be

I'm getting wet every night man soaked in this heat fucking global warming holy shit Every night, man. Soaked in this heat. Fucking global warming. Holy shit. Oh, my God.

Yeah, no, like, I stepped in my mom's heels for a little while. Like, I walked around in his shoes. I got pictures of my brother dressed as a girl. That shit is so funny. That shit is so funny, dude. Nah, you got to, you got to. You're like, nah, it's not. You got to be a parent, bro. So, like Like, if kids are gonna do something on their own

That's what they do on their own But if I walk home and I see my kid dressed up in my wife's clothing I'm gonna be like, yo You gotta cut that shit off, man Like, I gotta tell you this before the guys at school tell you this You know what I mean? Because if you're too accepting of your kid They're just gonna get the fuck bullied out of them at school

So I gotta cut that shit out to protect you. I'm going to protect you, son. So then let's say that I'm your son. And I come to you and I'm 14. Yeah. And I say to you, Dad, this is really hard for me. Yeah. But I am much more attracted to boys than I am to girls.

You're gay? Do it, dog. And part of that is that I am. girls. You're gay? Do it, dog. And part of that is that I... Okay, all right. So you're totally fine with sexual preference. It's not preference. It's sexuality. Orientation.

Orientation. Yeah. Okay. And then part of that is also that I really enjoy dressing up in drag. And there's this community. Well, it's really fun to sing in cabaret shows. That's how I feel. Oh, you like entertaining.

I feel sexy when I'm wearing heels and women's makeup. Why? Why do you feel sexy? I don't know. It just makes me feel like who I am. And have you seen A Star is Born? That's my favorite movie, especially the scene in the drag bar. I didn't see that movie

maybe you shouldn't be watching those you say 15 yeah i hate that movie but i like that song broken what is it called broken i'm off the shallow shallow yeah that's shallow that song should be about global warming shallow okay here comes the deep end No cup can stop it We're gonna die real soon Jesus Christ This guy's drinking his environmentally friendly bottle I always bring this You do, really

I'm not the owner of the elephant graveyard of water bottles That you guys have created here Interestingly, it's about writing Which is exactly what will cost you your job Look at that Those who tell the stories rule the world. I could still. You'll be all right.

Wait, so you don't use like straws and shit like that or what? I don't. You know what? The paper straw thing is bullshit. If someone puts it in my drink and hands it to me, I'll fucking drink it. But I don't. The paper straw thing is bullshit. There's got to be another way.

I use more straws now. I ask for two straws every single time. Let's say that they're right. I want them to land in both of the turtles' nostrils. I don't want a turtle nostril to be able to... I don't want it to be able to breathe out of one

and then the others lodge. I want both lodged. What do you have against turtles? Fuck them. I think that was exactly it. I'm more of a Splinter fan myself. Even Shredder I like. But them turtles, fuck them turtles, brother.

Fuck the turtles. Fair enough. Eating all our pizza. See, this is the problem. This is the problem. Yeah, tell me the problem. Global warming and environmentalism have become so attached with liberalism and so politicized along party lines that people who don't believe in, let's say, abortion, feel the need to also distance themselves from environmentalists.

I mean, yeah, 100%. I think it's perfectly fine to go a la carte with your political causes. I think if you care about the environment... Like, choose off the menu. So Chris Rock said, I got some shit I'm conservative about, I got some shit I'm liberal about.

Crime, I'm conservative. Prostitution, I'm liberal. I'm not saying you can't do that. But if I know you care about the environment yeah i think you're gay that's just me personally that's just that's just comes to you just me dad yeah uh i love you very much but i think we need to stop with the plastic bottles does that piss you off more punch my son right? I punched my son right in his face. I would rather walk in on my son

I would rather walk in on my son sucking a guy's dick than sucking on a paper straw. There's your joke. That's tonight. That's really good. Dude! Also, I thought of something

for the three million. Here we go. God damn That's really good. Also, I thought of something for the three million. Here we go. Oh, God damn. I thought of something for the three million dollars. I can't wait until there's a broke documentary about these Fortnite kids. Yeah. Like how 16-year-olds spend all their money. You know what I mean?

I would watch the fuck out of that show. Just disheveled 16-year-olds be like, I bought all those Dunkaroos. I wish I had. My dad told me not to. Okay. Got all these Velcro shoes. I don't know where to put them. Oh, that's good.

Oh, we might have two. Guys, see how humor works? You go in, then you come back. You know what I mean? Just like a tide. It won't. Just like coffee is whiskey. That's good.

I'm trying to think. What was the thing about? What if a kid used all his money on gender reassignment surgery and then trans shit, and then he turned 20, and he's like, I made a horrible mistake. Yo, they do that sometimes. That is true. And if you've had gender reassignment, I've heard you can't go back. That's one way trip.

Can I just run it? The joke? No, no. You remember how you hate pit bulls and you gave all that science about how 50% of pit bull attacks did whatever? Yeah.

So I was using that thinking that you researched that science. I did. Okay. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. Well, do you know how many... It was 50% of pit bull... 50% of attacks on children are from pit bulls.

According to the Philadelphia Children's Hospital from 2003 to... And then people say, well, there's mixed breeds, so you can't really track the breeds. Bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada. Do you know how many attacks that's based on? I have no idea. 12. Four total attacks. No, that's bullshit. No way. There's no total no that's bull someone told me that because I use the stat mad cocky like because I was a buggin I was just but

who told you that that's all my knowledge is from secondary sources meaning somebody read some shit and then I trust that he read it when he does what I trust it with him I'm looking this up. Hold on. Who's that? That's someone else. Get out of here. A guy named Kale. Kale? Like the leafy green? Spelled differently.

The leafy green that goes down like razor wire. Short for Caleb, I'm sure. Pitbull attacks. I'm telling you, I did enough research to cover my... I can't really see. Can you enlarge this graphic? The following infographic shows that pit bull is still responsible. God damn it, Ed, and you pull up something on time and then you still fuck it up.

Pit bull, Rottweiler, German Shepherd, mixed breed. Fatal attacks on... Andrew, look, look, look, look. America's most dangerous dog breeds. Fatal attacks on humans from 2005 to 2017. Pitbull, number one, 284. Okay, let's go back. So that is a 12-year period.

What's 284 divided by 12? Oh, wait, wait. I know this. It's like... 23.6. Yeah. So in all of America, we're talking about 23 attacks per year. That's a lot.

That's not a lot. As compared to Golden Retrievers, which is .5 attacks per Golden Retriever per 12-year period. Are you trying to say that Golden Retrievers are the white people of dunks? Name any other of those breeds.

I've never met a black person with a golden retriever in my life. The whole point of all the statistics is that... I do too. I feel like I'd made it in life if I had a golden retriever. The whole point of all of the numbers is that pit bulls are orders of magnitude

more dangerous than every other breed. Okay, so your stats are right and this bitch was lying to me. Yeah, I don't know who for. Where did that even come from? White woman? She was white. She probably has a pit bull. You can't trust white women ever. Ever in the world. I agree with that. And you know why

white women get pit bulls? Why? Because they like to jog with them for protection. Which is bullshit. Probably from black people. That's exactly right. People of color. I mean, I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I don't like the people of color. Is mean... I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I don't like the people of color.

Is that not politically correct? I thought that was a good word. I think it's weird. Just talking about black people though. I'm talking about all... Here's what's weird. Just blanket statement there. All the colors of the rainbow.

People of color. I can't understand this That's the most politically correct I thought it was Colored people You cut out a syllable All of a sudden you're a monster Yeah, it's true It's a good point

Don't make no sense I think the word colored is just I wouldn't touch it Son, huge people How about that? You know what it is? If I have This is what I've learned

That could work This is what I've learned People of color Very sensitive about their names Because their names have often been used to hold them down. So even if it's an intonation, the way you say it, very sensitive. Colors only. There's never a good term.

You just don't say anything about it. Well, then what do you need to reference? No, no, no. That's what you call us. No, no, no. You can call black people black people even then they're like

no it's not I think African American Ian Edwards had this joke and I thought it but like obviously it's more than mine if you say African American that's more racist to me

like you went through all these extra syllables to not seem racist you probably racist that's too much yeah no that's a good point there's this guy I follow

he had a show on Vice for a while he's hilarious his name is Zach Fox I like that kid he's hilarious and he said don't let. I like that kid. He's hilarious. And he said, don't let white people call you brother. That's just boneless nigger.

It's the chicken tender of the network. It's the chicken tender of the network. I use brother all the time. So what is the proper terminology? What would you like? People of color. Yeah. If we're talking about black people, we'll say black people.

If we're talking about all people That aren't white No what if you're talking about One black guy Like It's a black guy It's black people Yeah Black man

I was referring to Black man Black woman To all races That were not white So what do you call them When I said people of color Minority

I don't know But that doesn't even Sounds bad to me Yeah Yeah I just call whatever the fuck Y'all are I don't care that much

Like I care just enough To not Like Want to punch someone You're black You're Puerto Rican You're white You're Indian

I can't deal I can't be bothered with this shit bro I really can't be It's too much I don't have any malice No matter how I say it I don't have malice in my heart I care enough to know

If like You're being malicious Right That's the only That's the only level That I care about Like if somebody's like alright like if I'm fucking trying to if somebody cuts me off at a parking spot and somebody look listen here my brother I'm like alright now we have to fight but nice thing

nothing I want to hurt you because that way other words like you if you already did something and I don't know you from a hole in the wall and somebody's like, is that my brother? I mean, come on. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. Now you're going, you're doing too much. I can tell you're getting a little drunk.

I can tell Kaz is getting a little drinky because he's talking loud and more. Francis seems completely unaffected. I've been drinking heavily lately.

My tolerance is at an all-time high. He's like, this is just my warm-up. I have little hope. I have a hard time sleeping. I've been drinking wine, white wine, to put me to sleep. What kind?

What specifically? Sancerre. Oh, see, I don't even. I know that one. Dry. I'm a Sauvignon Blanc. Not too fruity. That's right.

I like the Sancerre. Yeah, Sancerre's nice. Really cold. Really? You drink wine cold? White wine. I really like it very, very cold. Gotcha. I'm cheap. I'm a Sauvignon Blanc person myself. Ah. Yeah. Really? You got to get it cold. White wine. I really like it very, very cold. Gotcha.

I'm cheap. I'm a Sauvignon Blanc person myself. Ah. Yeah. That's great. There's nothing wrong with that. It is nice. It's available everywhere.

Here's a nice parallel to the conversation we were just having, right? Are you going to defend pitbulls? No. No. I'm never going to defend pitbulls. Come on. Sauvignon Blanc, right? Yeah.

Great. And the way you said it great if people say sauvignon i want to commit terrorism against that person you're saying a lot of muslim things right now i didn't say muslim there are russian terrorists plenty of other people of color have committed acts of terrorism russian terrorists who are probably muslim yeah they are Muslim. Is that true? Yeah.

The only non-Muslim terrorists are the ones in Spain and Ireland. We don't call white people terrorists. Come on, that's not right. ETA in Spain, and then the... Yeah, the Irish Republican Army. We don't call white people terrorists. Irish, you were just saying. They're just mammy-hooters.

You just talked about Irish terrorists. Wait a second. We don't call them terrorists. No, we did. He literally just... Damn, drunk cats don't listen. He literally just said... I'm not drunk. I took a shit. I'm good. Ireland, yeah, they cats don't listen. I'm not a drunk. They're a terrorist organization.

And they were about that action. The Northern Irish versus Ireland. What are they called? The IRA? The Northern Republican Army. NRA or IRA? The Irish Republican Army. NRA is taken by other terrorists. Did it just walk up to people like this?

I just thought it was bear. Cocktails is taken by other terrorists. But it was... Did it just walk up to people like this? I just thought it was bare-eyed. No, that was where, like, Molotov cocktails were, like, huge. Car bombs. Um, okay, yeah, no, the terrorist shit is, yo, don't be a terrorist, bro, but like, yo, don't be a terrorist, bro, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes you just gotta submit to daddy.

Like, that's what people don't realize. Like, not everybody can have control of their country. This is what is the hardest thing to tell certain people, right? Like it's not your choice to be born into a shitty little piece of shit country, right? But when you are, you have to submit to daddy and there can only be a few daddies. So if you don't do what daddy says, you got to get spanked up. I love that this is your answer not only for like, no, I will not let you be transgender, son. But also, no, I will not let you be a terrorist, son.

You can be transgender after you really try out this regular gender. You can commit terrorism when you turn 18. That's actually a solid rule. If you didn't let kids blow themselves up and you were 18 and you decide 18. Yeah. Like, yo, let's, hey, listen. That's actually a solid rule. If you didn't let kids blow themselves up and you were 18 and you decide it would be... Yo, get some pussy first.

Yeah. Yes. Get some pussy first. Get all that shit down. Do you know what I mean? You have the Amish do that. They, like, let their kids go out and experience

the world and sin. That's what these little terrorist groups do. When a kid is 18, let him go out, buy him some pussy, get him drunk. See if maybe this shit is worth it

because it probably is that's sick you're gonna take a lot of that hate out of your heart that's America you come to America you start getting all that American shit

you're like I ain't going back to that cave dwelling life fucking my play-doh they dwell in they out here dwelling play-doh allegories and shit

play-doh you know what I mean motherfuckers coming up with allegories in a cave dog do you remember that guy yo it was coming up allegories in a cave, dog. Do you remember that guy? It was so many allegories in there. Lots of gories.

It was so many allegories. Y'all probably don't even know what an allegory is. Nah, I was just like, yeah, allegory. I'm like, I know what it is. An allegory is a story that is meant to offer a message about something else. Symbolism. Like Aesop's fables. Is a story that is meant to offer a message about something else. Symbolic.

Symbolism. Like one of Aesop's fables. Is that what that is? Aesop. Fables are similar, but fables always involve animals. Don't talk free my man Aesop, dog. Aesop's a cool name. Aesop?

Yeah. It's almost like Aesop. I know. That's why you're saying free my man Aesop. Oh, that's funny. You might be better than Trump. At what? At getting black people. Clearly I'm better. I know that's why you're saying free my man ASAP He might be better than Trump At what?

At getting black people out of prison Clearly I'm better Son I'm the goat He didn't try that hard I'm the goat bro Let me tell you when it comes I'm this guy's guardian angel He's still in there He's still in there

This is really good I'm enjoying this He's not getting out for a minute. But wait, what were we talking about? Terrorism or some shit? Oh, I'm gay. Yeah. Am I? Hello.

Is this an allegory? It is amazing to me that you, I would say you have a very- How much power the Jews have given that there's such a small population in the world? Dude, I've been- You know what I've been- Listen. You know what I've been... Listen. You know what I've been... You know what I've been watching?

Viewers and opinions expressed. Fuck that shit, boy. Oh my God. Trying to get the Somalis, gays, and the Jews after us. I have to unite everyone. I have to unite. And the transgenders.

Don't forget about that one. I'm not against trans, but it's like- Who got more power for how small of a percentage they got? The Jews or the trans? Oh, Jews without a doubt. The Jews got more power. Yeah, but think about the percent. Yo, but think about this.

Trans are really like the Kurds. You know the Kurds? Like cheese Kurds? No. The Kurdish. The Kurdish people. Like the poor Kurdish people We just use for proxy wars Right

So it's just like Yo go fight them over there You'll get your land But you'll never get it Trans are proxy soldiers Trans are proxy soldiers So anytime Trump needs some distraction

Or whatever He's just like Yo trans Cut that shit out And then people are like How could you say that About trans Boom that's it

But nothing ever really happens No one really cares They finna cancel A.C. Slater They may not cancel A.C. they finna cancel a C Slater See later is one of the most like gainfully employed motherfuckers entertain extra extra He's no man. He's good still looks great good. He does still looks good been foreign since 1990 He's on every hotel room ever as soon as you check it go to every hotel room ever as soon as you check in it's crazy wait you think it's transphobic to tell your kid yo see if you really want to do this try out the regular yeah like i just think

people just afraid to have conversations like just having the conversation with your kids like oh my god how could you think that way yeah how can you how can you know what's best for your own three-year-old child? Even if you're an adult, I want to know. Explain to me. Maybe I'm trans. I don't know. Tell me. Maybe you're describing a feeling that I've had my whole life. I just didn't know that was woman.

You let me know. Dude, I've always thought at this point in my career, how much better I would be doing if I came out and said, I identify as a woman now. I know this has been like said probably. It would work better for Schultz. If Schultz did that

it's a wrap. What would I do? If you were just like I identify as a woman who's going to hate you? If you came out and you're like Oh shit.

So my point is like I've had meetings with you know fucking agents, managers everybody and they're like look unfortunately for you writing rooms are not hiring straight white males right now the door is closed for the moment and i'm like okay that's fine whatever it is so what can i do to get into that

writing room if that was what i wanted to do well one thing would be to have gender reassignment surgery you could right you could also just say you blow dudes. Do you think gay is enough? That don't work for Gerard. That HBO special did not slap. And I liked his first two. His first two was great. Is Gerard gay now?

Yeah, he came out. Oh, I didn't know that. He's both. Oh, I didn't know that. He's bi. Let me guess, you don't believe didn't know that. He's both. Oh, I didn't know that. He's bi. Let me guess. You don't believe in that. Nope.

Not for guys. I don't believe in guy bi. I don't believe in it. I don't buy guy bi. You know what I say every time I hear that? Let me tell you why. Let me tell you why. Ask a woman what they think.

Ask a woman what they think. Oh, women are the most homophobic. You don't buy guy bi. Women are the most homophobic. For the most, like, once you go one way, it's like, no, you're there now. I don't buy guy buy. That's going to come get pussy now and go get some dick. Bye guy buy.

Bye guy buy. I don't buy guy buy. Let me tell you why I don't buy guy buy. I admire it because a lot of us won't know the things we like in life because we're too afraid to try. Okay? So we'll go through this one life that we have Without trying certain things That we might enjoy Because we're too afraid

Of what the world might think Like Birkenstocks Yeah Right You and the Birkenstocks You might be You might love Birkenstocks But you're afraid

You might love Birkenstocks But you're too afraid Right That's a really small example You know what I have in it Yeah Uggs I wear Uggs around the house

Comfortable They're so comfortable Boom So comfortable. The only reason you don't like dick is because you haven't tried it yet? What I'm trying to say is- Maybe. I might like it if I had tasted it, but I have not.

There's certain yogurts I won't try. You know what I'm saying? I don't like certain yogurts. Lemon, I don't like that. But you never tried it but i don't know in the group chat right what's that uh this model uh carissa pinkston admits she lied about being transgender because i guess they found some like old shit she said about that was transphobic and like her comeback was well i'm trans so i can't be transphobic and i guess they found out

that she lied about that shit. Yo. How can you? That's definitely not. And I don't think that's the first time I've heard something like that. Oh, thank you. Yo, imagine how disappointed it was for her that they believed that she was a trans. That's the most heartbreaking shit. She's like, I'm actually trans.

They're like, oh. I see it. I see it. I know. Because her feet is big. Look how big this bitch's feet are. I know she was trans this whole time. That's fucked up.

Big old fucking guy neck. Damn, she does look great. She looks like Chris Brown, doesn't she? The other one was Kevin Spacey. She looks like Vibes Cartel. Coming out to deflect from- Nah, she's pretty. I fuck that.

Yeah, she's gorgeous. You kidding me? You fuck that dude? I fuck that dude she's pretty I fuck that yeah she's gorgeous you kidding me you fuck that dude I fuck that dude bro I fuck that dude wait what were we talking about well yesterday he was

talking about you and fuck the girl from no I didn't say I fuck I was from Euphoria you watch Euphoria on HBO

I heard it's really good okay here we go ready I'm gonna give you the hypothetical that hypothetically Let's go She's fine bro She cute Alright so check it

She do look like JaVale McGee a little bit A little JaVale She don't Just a smidge Now you can't fuck her no more That's your bill Transveil McGee Transveil McGee

Transveil McGuy Okay So That's the name of the episode Transveil McGee Okay So Oh my god

Okay so Francisco Si Okay So You are about to hook up with this shorty Okay, so Oh my god Francisco So, you are about to hook up with this shorty Fine, bitch That's good Fine, bitch Super fine as fuck Right?

So So Right? And then she pulls back And she's like I can't, I can't So, right? You've got to look over there, right? And then she pulls back. Squirt. And she's like, hey. I can't. That was good.

Roll over it. Okay. You got to pace yourself. So then she goes, hey, I just want to let you know before we actually go through with this, right? I was born a guy. Okay? I got the gender reassignment surgery. Got the pussy.

Got the titties. Got everything. It's all good What's up Do you fuck Um Keep it a buck too And you're saying She's incredibly beautiful

She's beautiful enough For y'all to hook up That doesn't really Say a whole lot For me Standards have Plummeted In the last three weeks

that's what happens when you're hanging out with comedians bro hooking up with female comedians who does that? yeah you're right I would never I don't think I would and I don't want that to sound transphobic

it's not transphobic I think it's a sexual preference are you sexist when you don't hook up with an ugly girl? Do you hate women? No, of course not. Are you homophobic

when you don't hook up with a guy? That's absurd. Right. Right, so I'm not... Of course you wouldn't do it. None of us would do it, right? Because that shit is mad gay.

But besides that, what I'm saying is, would you... This is what I would you, this is what I would do. This is what I would do. I'd dap him up. Right? I'd dap him up. I'd be like, yo, you almost got me, fam.

That was quick. Hey, hey, bro. You nice with that. I'm not going to front. You hit me a little crossover. You got me. Ankles broke. Right?

I'd dap him up. I'm like, that was a suck. Right? And then I'd be like yo let me fill your pussy like not i don't want to do it sexually i just want to see what it's like what sort of work examine let me examine it let me examine your so you do what they do in the beginning of some porn scenes where they like butterfly fillet it and like open it up. And you know what I mean?

Like where they're like, this looks good. Yo, Francis Ellis used a filet mignon reference. You know when they butterfly cut a chicken? I don't know exactly what I'm talking about. That's the whole new reason why. And they like examine it and they're like, oh, well, he's going to have fun with that. And then the guy comes in naked already with a boner. He's like, did somebody call for a dick?

And then he goes to town. That's what you would do. You would almost do like a gynecologist's checkup. I want to do a gynecologist's checkup. Wow. That's very inquisitive of you. The actual like the surgery, like how they turn your dick into a vagina. Wow. That's very inquisitive of you. Do you know the actual surgery? How they turn your dick into a vagina?

Fascinating. Yes. Fascinating. You hold your nose like this and you breathe. You breathe in. And you breathe a deep breath in your nose. You hold your nostrils closed. No, you don't sneeze.

That's how you get it out. You go back. You breathe. They just say, they just go. I'm tired of this shit. I want to go home. The wage gap is killing me. The wage gap is killing me.

No more periods. The line at the restroom is too long. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, son. Blowing up an air mattress. Fucking fuck, dude. That's really good.

Can't take Javale McGee off the fucking screen. She's been here for that long. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, fuck. That is hysterical. God damn. That is so good. So I think they take the nerves, like they take the dick, and like, I guess, kind of

like. I don't care. It's too much science. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. The nerves. Just imagine sucking on it. Go. Mmm. It's the mmm. Yeah. Go Dude just imagine They take the dick

You really want to tell us And they turn it into like A vagina cocktail They take the nerves Emphasis on the cock They take some of your wrist They take your wrist it looks. They take some of your wrist. That's what it looks like. Dude, look, it took your wrist.

I thought it was that they basically turn it inside out. Yeah, that's what I thought. But then your dick would be right by your asshole. It'd be between your legs. But it'd be between your legs, bro. Your pussy's mad far back. Pussy's down here. I don't know where your dick is,

but my dick is more forward. Yeah. My dick is up here. Like, when you pee at a urinal, do you do it butt first? Can you imagine? Making your dick into the urinal. Imagine pulling up to the bathroom. Imagine there's like eight people in a urinal.

And you're like, what's up? I was like, you all right? Did you ever see those milking videos? Those handjob milking videos where the girl's under the table jerking the guy backwards? Hey, man. Next thing I'm going to do it this season. Oh, God. You're just peeing doggy style into the urinal.

No. Of course not. What are you doing? Yanni Bobby! Yanni Bobby! Yo, Yanni Bobby. Yo, turn. Hey, you guys, turn your mic

so Yanni Bobby can talk. Yeah. No, no, no. You're hanging out, Jim. But Yanni Bobby, I got to set up Yanni Bobby. Is this the twoick Papi? No, we've been.

How much time we got? I am having a great time. Very good. Yeah, you got to miss the stool. The wonderful Yannick Papi just walked in for guys who haven't seen the camera. Hold on. You got to show over here. Can you sit here without being in the way of the mic?

Yeah. Okay. In the way of the camera, I mean. There you go. Okay, Yanni Papi, sit right there for the time being. Are we, should we start Patreon now? No, well. I don't think we got the time yet.

We're not. 520. We're not there yet. We're not there yet. That's what we're going to do. That's what we're going to. So, Yanni Papi, we're doing a, we're doing a marriage. You got a nice little cut, huh?

Yeah. You got that little cut. I can see that ring, dog. I haven't seen you post marriage. Look at that. Hey. Nice. Nice. We're going to talk right into that mic, dog, because we can't. Yeah, Lord. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that.

You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that.

You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that.

You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. You got that. We were just talking about how you make a tranny vagina. Right? And Kaz was breaking it down. Oh, yeah. No, I'm okay. We're getting lit. Everybody's drinking. No, no, no. I'm drinking some caffeine. We're getting lit.

This shit is like leaking through the cup, so you got to drink it fast. Sorry for Global Warming. The only thing that shocked me is the Birkenstocks. I don't know what's going on, but I see Birkenstocks. Yo, we talking about trannies, bro? Do you know what I mean? Can I get up in the world, bro? Can my feet live?

Yeah, they can. They're alive. They're living too free. Son, have you tried on a burk? I used to wear Crocs, so I know how long comfort goes. Different, son. It's different. This is different.

You could fight in these. That's why I wear these. I usually don't wear a sandal because I'm concerned that I might need a fight. Yeah. But these have enough. They go high enough on your foot where you could fight. You need to try some male lugs, bro. Yeah.

I got some male lugs at the crib. I think I'd rather take a beat and then have those on. You know, like, I'll let the guy win. Last time I saw DeStefano, it was at the Barstool show. He had the jeans with, like, the strategic rips in them. And you could hear him calling himself the F word in his head as he described the jeans. He was like, yeah, I'm wearing these fucking jeans. Got the fucking...

Then he rips his... I got the fucking rips in them. I don't know. Wait, so do we have Yanni Papi having a little drink as well? Yeah, I got a little bit. Okay, Yanni Papi got a little drink as well. All righty. And then you and Francis are going to switch in a little bit.

So we're doing the marathon. I explained this to you. We're doing a marathon. You didn't tell me, but now I'm in. Oh, son. We're doing a marathon. Because I'm going to Japan. It's the Jerry Lewis. Yeah. It's a teleth the marathon I explained this to you we're doing a marathon you didn't tell me but now I'm in oh son we're doing a marathon because I'm going to Japan

I'm going to Japan that's why you got those on you're ready oh son I got outfits that only can be worn in Japan

son y'all don't even know I'm going you got a kimono son I got no no like Japanese fashion oh those are going to be some fun videos.

The cool thing about Japan is that people don't judge nothing out there. Oh, the street wear out there is phenomenal. So you could just wear whatever you want and nobody says shit to you. You know in America, you have guys like you. Black people. That will just make fun of motherfuckers, man, Birkenstocks. What are those? Exactly.

And there's no what are those in Japan. It's just like, oh, that is interesting. They judge the black people who judge the outfits. So they're like, what are you going to tell me? Exactly. Japanese people love black culture. They do like black culture. They do.

They love it. I love it too. Every old rapper goes to Japan and like sells out fucking massive arenas and stadiums. Really? Like KRS-One and shit. Like he'll go there and do like a month long tour in Japan. Dude, okay. KRS-One, talk about it.

Do you remember Pete Rock and CL Smooth? Yes. Reminisce over you. Yeah. I was at Willie Colon's opening of his restaurant. Shout out to Willie Colon. Yeah, shout out to Willie. Beer Garden, Brooks and Hops up in the Bronx.

And Pete Rock was DJing the party. Wow. And I was a little sad. It's sad. It's very sad. There were only, I don't know, 30 people there, and he put his song on. My man DJing in the Bronx, son.

Yeah. I mean, middle-aged rap is not the most. Jay-Z, he's the only one that makes middle-aged rap fun. Everybody else is just. But none of those guys got paid back then either. No, exactly. There was no money in it yet. They're like NFL players.

They still got to work. What about concerts? People paid for concerts. Yeah, but the record labels were taking everything back then. Yeah. I thought the record labels would take everything now. And back in the day, they got nothing from concerts. They're getting smarter now.

They're getting smarter now. You didn't see the TLC documentary? No. When they were breaking down how the Waterfall sold 10 million records, and they only made $5,000 or some shit. It wasn't $5,000. It was enough to live, I remember. It wasn't that much.

Because they took everything. Well, they kind of conned them into paying for buses, paying for all this other shit. What I remember is this explanation from Left Eye, being like, here's how you go broke, even though you sold 100 million records. Who gave Left Eye AIDS? Did we ever find that out? What? Left Eye being like, here's how you go broke even though you sold a hundred million records. Who gave Left Eye AIDS? Did we ever find that out?

What? Left Eye had AIDS? It's a hard left term from the music business. God, didn't she have AIDS? No, so she died.

I told you, there's a documentary called The Last Days of Left Eye where you see her like, You see her die. You see her right before she dies. She's holding, she's like,

she's acting mad weird. She's going to that doctor that they said cured AIDS. Dr. Sebi. She didn't have AIDS She just was like One of his followers or whatever Filming herself for like weeks Then she's in the car

Talking like vlogging And then all of a sudden She's like oh shit And then the camera drops And then that's when she dies Like the car Slides down a ditch or whatever Oh my god

Yeah you've never seen that Bitch was wild back then bro I was like you're really About to show this What did she have? What was the disease? Nothing. She died in a car crash.

But she had AIDS. Oh, she had something, but it wasn't AIDS. Let me look that up, bro. Eddie, can you look up? You saying that sounded familiar. I think she had it. Nah, she didn't have AIDS, bro. Yo, wait.

What was the other joke? It was the sucking the dick on a straw. I'd rather my son. Yeah, I'd rather that my son. And then the other one, there was another one. God damn. Can you open this for my hands? I mean, something about the global warming?

The cup? Huh? Cup. Yeah. Wall, build a wall out of a cup? You just got to go, I forget. So Giannis, you know that Comedy Central show they do at the Cellar? Yeah.

So we're trying to do the, we're trying to think of, they never put me on anyway. Yeah. So we're just thinking of the worst possible, the most offensive possible jokes for the topics, and then I'll go tape them tonight. Okay. Let's hear them. He's coming up with his material now for a gig

that if I had it would be the biggest gig of my career. What, the Convincential thing? Yeah. Are you resenting him right now? Giannis, here's the example, right? Like, I'm progressive, right? But I'm not, like, too progressive. Not gay.

Do you know what I mean? No, no, I can't say that. That kills the joke. Oh, I thought you were saying in real life. No, no, no, we know that. I'm progressive. I'm not too progressive. Like, I'd rather walk into my son sucking on a dick than sucking on a paper straw.

You need the buildup. The whole point was like he's really anti-global warming. Yo, watching Joke's bomb is really funny. Not even a sympathy laugh. There's nothing like that. Not even a social gesture. There's nothing left. There's nothing left.

Not even a social gesture. We spent 20 minutes going back and forth about how he does not like global warming. I don't believe in global warming. He actually wants to make it worse. I'm sorry. I do believe in it. I'm supportive of it. He's a proponent of global warming. I'm a proponent of it.

Oh, you want it to speed things up. All it does is makes everything better. I just want it to speed up the end. This is just suspense at this point. Why do you want it to be done so bad? I mean, we did it. We made it, you know? I think we made it.

I think at the end of the game, you got to shuffle it up a little bit and start over. Like, Monopoly, you know, when you're in Monopoly, you get to the end. You can't just keep playing. What are we going to do next? I've never got to the end of Monopoly. Nobody has.

I tried it as an adult once to play Monopoly and actually follow the rules, and it's the worst. It's so boring. There's no way to end it. There's no way to end Monopoly. actually follow the rules and it's the worst. It's so boring. There's no way to end it. There's no way to end Monopoly. I mean, I did a pilot the other day

where the host was an AI, was a reactive AI. That's fucking terrifying. What was this pilot for? It was a Spotify pilot where they put two people in a room and then the AI assesses

your compatibility. I don't even know if I'm allowed to be saying that. Sure you are. Who gives a fuck? So, I mean, it's like the AI is the host. So it's like know if I'm allowed to be saying that. Sure you are. Who gives a fuck? So, I mean, it's like the AI is the host.

So it's like eventually- Why do we give a fuck? I don't know. You think Spotify is going to call you and be like, you talked about our robot show? No, but I think

they said I shouldn't, but I don't know. Who gives a fuck, y'all? Who gives a fuck, right? Okay. We're drinking. You're going to Japan. You got Birkenstocks.

Obviously, we're all fucking at the end. When I see Schultz and Birkenstead, you are letting it go. You should see what type of underwears I'm wearing. What do you got going on? Mack Weldon. Mack Weldon. Oh, we got that.

Is that also Mack Weldon? No, no, we got Audio Mack today. Oh, shit, we got to pay the bills. We should pay the bills today. Shit, all right, yo, we're going to pay the bills, man. This might be a good time for me to let Giannis subsume my seat. If you don't shut the fuck up. Okay, stick around.

I'm happy to. I have everything calculated here, okay? I know he is deserving. I didn't want to let Giannis subsume my seat. Okay, stick around. I'm happy to. I have everything calculated here, okay? I know he is deserving. I didn't want to let us know. I'm comfortable in the stool. How far are we

along, Evan? Perfect. Okay, we're good. Okay, let me tell y'all something about my man Giannis Papas. Giannis Papas got a special coming out.

Yes. Yes. Giannis is very upset at me for how long it's taken to get out. Not necessarily. I think you've been right to But it's

Everything happens for a reason Everything happens for a reason We can't rush perfection We can't No We had to make some We had to make some tweaks We had to get a little Alex Media on it

That was what it was missing bro Yeah It was missing a little Alex Media That's right Alex Magic Alex got us some magic With this comedy shit I don't know if we can give away the sauce, Al.

Nah, we can't give away the sauce. They can get a taste, but they can't know the sauce. Exactly. So Alex had to put the sauce on it. Let me ask you a question, Giannis. Yes, sir. And this is your expert opinion. Before Alex put the sauce on it,

after Alex put the sauce on it, noticeable difference? Yeah. Like cheeseburger at Big Mac. Monumental. Yeah. Monumental. Yeah.

Monumental differences. Like game-changing watching experience. Am I wrong? No, definitely. Like, and I say, I ask you because you are the one who's being judged because you're the comic in it. Yeah. So you watching yourself with the sauce, you're like, oh shit, that because you're the comic in it. Yeah. So you watching yourself

with the sauce, you're like, oh shit, that's what I remember doing that night. Yeah, it feels a lot like being in the room. Yeah.

That's what these specials get wrong. They don't recreate the room. No, put this out so I can steal it. You don't gotta steal. I give you everything. What you gotta steal?

That's true. I just want to drink too much. She doesn't feel like I'm stealing this. What the fuck you steal for? I'm trying to give you everything, bro. It's a, you know. I'm trying to let you drink too much. You got to fucking steal for us. I'm trying to give you everything, bro. It's a, you know.

I'm trying to give you credit out loud. You're an umbrella, bro. You're an umbrella. So look. So blowing the light, I was hoping that we could watch the trailer here tonight. But we're all too drunk. I'm ready. Yeah.

I want to know if you are cool with that. Yeah, I'm cool. That's fun. It's short. It's short. It's quick. Let's watch this trailer. So I'm going to send you the Google Drive, and then you can play it, Eden. Is that cool?

Yeah. All right. You guys ready? Everybody at home listening? Remember to pay that bill at some point. Pay the bill. Yeah. Yo, that's a great idea.

So send Eden the link. Pull up the ad whenever you get a chance. In the meantime, meantime Kaz what was your first gay experience like? wow well his name was Tom no no white dude huh?

white dude or white dude? I was in his top nine okay I just sent you I just sent you a chat what was it called? top eight? top nine? top eight yeah

you took my butt a little too long Alright, son What'd you say? I missed it What'd you say? You guys going for it? I like it You guys getting saucy?

Here's a question Shut the fuck up, man I fucking guessed You're gonna ask us questions? I wanted to I wanted to Get the fuck out of here Damn You're gonna ask us questions I wanted to I wanted to get the fuck out of here damn

you're gonna ask us questions on the podcast I said Akash is getting drunk like by proxy like it's releasing out of my pores

pull this up can you get your boy some caffeine like a full monster no no no why don't we get you that coffee I had one already

I drank that shit. Well, look, let me tell you guys something. This episode has been brought to you by Audio Mac. If you're listening right now, then that means that this podcast is available also on Audio Mac. Audio Mac is the free music and podcast streaming app that lets you stream and download the hottest albums, mixtapes, songs, playlists, and mac exclusives that's right they got their own ish as well discover the best new songs by browsing the trending page that means they got excuse me they got the hits they're already out there so you don't gotta search you check out the library they got the carefully curated playlists this app there for every mood you want to work, they got something for you. You a little sad,

they got something for you. You in the mood to bang, they got something for you. All right? And take your favorite songs and podcasts offline so you can save your data and listen wherever you are.

That's brilliant. You're going to take a long flight. You might not be able to listen online. You better get those things saved. Game changer. Game changer. Audio Mac is here

to move music forward. It is available now at the App Store and Google Play. Why don't you just go? Why don't you just go right now and get that? Game changer. Game changer. Audio Mac is here to move music forward. It is available now at the App Store and Google Play. Why don't you just go? Why don't you just go right now and get that and listen. Let's get back to the show. Are we ready to go? We got audio and volume ready to go. Now, the first ever premiere of Giannis Pappas blowing the lights.

This is beautiful. Let's get it. I always wanted to shoot my first hour stand-up special in New York City. The city I'm from and the city that I love. I had no idea I was going to do it tonight, though. I was just running around doing sets. I ran into Schultz.

He was trying to shoot something, and he told me to go for it. So I Said fuck it and blew the light the one the only Giannis Papas Hot hot hot hot hot. Oh that's hot as fuck I love how live people dance to Four Corners. It's like they're doing a magic trick. Jerry, give me another Miller. Remember your dad was a Republican because he owned a business?

And your mom was a Democrat because she lived off of him. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's awesome. Yeah! Yeah! I'd love to see it. God is poppin' Everybody give it up That's awesome Yeah Yeah I'd love to see it Pause Hell yeah Listen, you know what, Giannis? Let me tell you something

Wait, when can we expect this? We're gonna talk about that in a second Let me tell you something This video's gonna get flagged Because we played that sabotage shit And you know what? I don't care We're demonetizing it

Yeah Because we need to get out there in the. We're demonetizing it. Yeah. Because we need to get out there in the world. We'll let them flag it, but still. Will they flag it for that? You got it? For how many seconds? Oh. Oh, so it's good?

No, no, no. I mean, I could have just thrown a different song over it. I know. Next time. We'll figure it out. My point is, I'm very excited for this.

So, I want to talk about the release schedule a little bit, if that's cool. Yeah? Wait, real cool. This is a very cool moment, I'm very excited for this. So, I want to talk about the release schedule a little bit, if that's cool. Yeah? Wait, real cool. This is a very cool moment, I thought, because this is, Jan is in the room, your first special. This is Schultz taking the next step he's talked about taking,

which is essentially he's accomplished his goals. Now he wants to move comedy forward, which I think you did with clips already, but now this is like your first thing. Sure, sure. And I remember watching that intro on Alex's phone, and after I said it, I I think you did with clips already, but now this is like your first thing. Sure, sure. And I remember watching that intro on Alex's phone, and after I said it, I said to you, yo, seeing

how much you've fucking grown in the time since you've been here is fucking crazy. And that was that shot. And it's like a beautiful moment. This is your shit, this is your shit, this is your shit. It's fucking dope to be here right now. So let's take this moment. We're gonna switch Francis and Giannis. Francis, will you hang for

a minute? Okay, cool. So you stool it up. So get bar stool. Okay. Go sit on the stool. Back to the stool, dog! Back on the stool! So So

We good? So Giannis is in the cut right now. Okay, now we is in the cut right now. Okay. Now we got Giannis, everybody framed up. So, first of all, this is a cool moment because Alex Media and Eden both shot this, right? It was a very exciting thing because this is our first move into the production realm. Your boy Jesse edited it. Yeah, my old partner, Ditch Films.

Ditch Films. Now, if you're a New York comedy fan, you're familiar with Marisa. Obviously, that was Jesse working on that with you. Me and him. You know, Panos as well, everyone. Yeah, the whole thing. The whole thing.

Everything we've ever done. So, super indie. And we shot this whole thing, it's an hour. How I would like to release it is I'd like to have a 15-minute version come out, which was similar to like my 441 thing and then the rest just relentlessly post clips I think that's the way

you showed me a 15 minute version I haven't watched it I'm going to watch on my way to Japan I'm going to put together what I think is 15 maybe we'll settle something in the middle but I don't see why we can't release this in in August for sure. Yeah.

Well, yeah. I think time is right for it. August is by the time this drops. It'll be August. I think time is right for it. Yeah. Well, we're ready. We did it.

It's cut. We're doing a little something, a little extra something. And then, yeah. Yeah, we have a little more thing that we have to shoot for. But there's certain bits in it that I really want to include and the time is right. Even for me, everything that we release, I know you wanted it out earlier. And you were like, come on, let's get it out. There's always that anxiousness.

But I also wanted to test to see how it flowed. Right. I wanted to get a little feedback. And it was real good feedback. The feedback was good. And that's before the sauce. Before the sauce. So wait until we put the sauce.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? But for me, it's like the people who love you already, they're going to love it. Yeah. we put the sauce Yeah Do you know what I mean But for me it's like The people who love you already They're gonna love it Yeah I want the people who don't know About you to find you

Correct Yeah And the reason I wanted to wait A little bit longer Is that you have some like fun Really fun political stuff in it Like the bit about That we showed in the trailer

Yeah a little bit of it yeah And like that matters in debate time Yeah Yeah That doesn't matter two months ago. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like everything happens for a reason or should happen for a reason as far as release goes.

So I think it's going to be good. I'm very excited for it. I think you're going to see this in August. As long as you're good to go film that little thing that we need to film. It should be good to go right now. I mean, pretty soon. Yeah. We're going to hook it up.

Just a little something. A little something. You know, that's the fun part. Yeah, it should be good to go right now. I mean, pretty soon. Yeah. We're gonna hook it up. Just a little something. A little something. You know, that's the fun part when you do it like this. I'm just like, hey, I want to go back and get... I think I missed a line. That's... Yeah. I disagree with this, but I let you do it. Yeah. Because what happens with bits is this. And this is to people that are watching right now.

We film a special, and then we keep doing those jokes. And then those jokes get better. Yeah. And there's nothing worse than when you like everything you saw from views from the cysts, everybody's watching every one of those jokes is better, but I deaded them all. And what will be left in history is what's on YouTube.

Right? So right now you're going, well, let me just film one more line from this bit. Cause it totally changes a bit. Yeah. Yeah. I think it needs it. Here's the, no, I'm telling you I've had to learn because I've held on for Schultz

knows way too long and long now I'm me crazy now I'm putting this shit out because there's always a put the joke you get better then by the time you're really really happy with it you do it like that and it gets old and stale and then by the time you film you're like well I fucking hate this bit now what's the line give it up to us cuz we know yeah the line is it's um part of what bit uh up top getting married it's um i say uh right now it's just i have the second part of the bit i just go yeah i don't understand why more grooms don't get kidnapped the day before the wedding because the day before the wedding is like the most important i've felt to a person in my entire

life my wife's been dreaming about this day her entire life. We're 24 hours away. She planned it. And I'm like an integral part of this thing going good. So I don't know why more grooms don't get kidnapped the day before the wedding. No matter what it is, she'll figure out a way to get the ransom. That's why you're at your most valuable moment.

We're not going to let these Albanians ruin my big day. So the part I missed was I should have blackmailed her dad. It's the same thing, but it just kind of sets it. I should have been like, the day before, I'd be like, look, I need 500 grand

and a duffel bag in cash or somebody's going to have a sad little girl tomorrow. Right. So it just kind of fills it out a little bit. He should look at you like, well, both of us

will have to deal with that. Yeah, but I mean, he's going to pay it. I mean, whatever it is. I see it, but it's like this game I'm realizing you've got to get to the next step. You want, I assume like me, get to the step where you're getting more club dates and then you can sell those out. So it's like you could hold off to get an A-plus and then get the clubs,

or you could just get a good enough grade to get the clubs and keep trying to move your material and all that shit. You want to do it, just do it. That's the thing. You don't even worry about that. Just do listen i i get it i understand what you're saying yes it will improve the joke and add something and you know give something to the joke but um and if you want to do it just do it it doesn't it's not going to make a difference if that bit might not even be in the 15 yeah that might be part of a later bit you could just film

the whole bit yeah Yeah. I mean, it's just worth it to get. See if it fills it out a little bit. It's not a big deal. Worst comes to worst, I don't use it. A way you can cheat it

if you're using that joke as like a clip or IG, that can be like when the title screen comes on and you just add that tag in the, like a voiceover ad.

Right. Or like an audience chat maybe. So, if he was on stage because our, like a voiceover app. Right. Or like an audience chat maybe. So if he was on stage because our eyes are deceived thinking that. Right. That's a good idea. The audio would have to be mixed to like sound. Well, no, if you use the-

That's easy. Yeah. No, that's the easy, that's the easy shit. Yeah, I'm very excited. I'm very excited to get it out. And I hope that it's one of those things where it's like- I'm just worried that maybe like clips now, they're so ubiquitous and so saturated

it's like minute clips don't seem that interesting anymore man they're everywhere you don't worry about nothing I got I put up my first clip Thursday

yeah I see other friends of mine putting up clips God bless them they're getting a few thousand views my clip on Twitter in a day got like 50,000 which for me was

I did not expect it on Instagram I got like 5,000 now it's at like 25,000. Like, it just keeps, if it's good and we have the luxury of a fan base

and a guy who will support us who's the hottest guy in the business right now, so it's like, it's different for you putting out clips or me putting out clips than everybody else.

And I'm talking to me as much as you because I hate putting stuff out there. I feel too vulnerable. But I just do it. Just do it. You got a good product, you're funny,

just do it. And that's, again, for myself as well. I've been following your shit since I was in college, bro, and you was doing Marisa and all this other shit and the growth from all that.

It's really tight. It's really tight. Just kind of being like a fucking fly on the wall watching this fucking creative process of comedians go on. So yeah, put that shit out there.

Yo, there's a lot of doo-doo out there. Yeah. Mm-hmm. All right. There's a lot of doo-doo out there. It's different when it's real. It's different when it's good.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And, like, the reason why it's way better and why I would never suggest to release, like, a full hour in a row is that, like, people will – the bar is lower for one minute and two minutes and three minutes than it is for an hour straight. So when you give one or two minutes and the bar is already low and it's

hilarious, they're like, who the fuck is this guy? The best thing that you want is people going, where can I watch your hour? Can I tell you like as somebody who like consumes like the minute clips in there. Advertisement for more.

Yeah. It's like, advertisement for more. Yeah! It's like when you go to a show, when you go to a concert and you like somebody's song and it's like, oh man, this is a good song. I'll go and watch the rest of his shit just because I like this song. So I'm listening to the other shit and then when your favorite song comes on, you know the words to it.

That's how I became a Tiller fan. Exactly, bro. So it's almost kind of like that with like comedian bits like you you hear the one minute it's like oh this is shit that got me really excited for it single yeah and you like the single exactly and i was to the album cuts and then it leads right into the shit that you like i was like oh shit yeah i i was wondering you early on had massive clips on YouTube with Maurice and 5 million views, 6 million views, etc. And then that was like early on in the YouTube game almost. Yeah, 2011. So Schultz has really kind of grown his YouTube profile and now has a pretty consistent ability to to max out or to get

over a million views do you find that the translation of lots of views from those early youtube videos translates to putting asses and seats on the road i sold 10 000 seats first year son in new york alone when When the Marisa shit happened. It was a phenomenon. Miami, New York. There was a club called the... LA, San Fran. What was it called?

Times Square Art Center. How many seats? 350. It was 350 seats. You were selling out multiple a night? Yeah, 10,000 the first year. We did it. We just, I didn't know what was going on.

You bought a house off of it, right? Pretty much. I mean, you know, other stuff too. You know, I had a TV show and I was doing weekends and stuff like that. But yeah, I mean, we made a lot of money. And in Miami, the first time we went down there, 1,000 seats sold out.

And they would sell out overnight. Like we post, like, I remember, we didn't know. We posted one. seats sold out. And they would sell out overnight. Like we post like, I remember we didn't know. We posted one. It sold out. We did on brown paper tickets, which was, I don't know if that's still around anymore. It was like brown paper tickets. We sold out. And then we're like, should we add another show?

And we put the link up and we didn't even post it yet. It sold out from people looking for the first show. So it was like, there was just like, it was like a little bit of a frenzy at the beginning. Yeah. So we counted up like first year, first year alone,

it was like 10,000. Over the years, maybe 30,000 in all the cities that I've sold on her. And then my other character, I've made a lot of money on just doing Greek shows. And then Chicago, he would sell out. You know,

I sold a lot of tickets to Chicago improv. So yeah, it does translate as you can see. No, I know. It's the only thing that translates. I guess, I guess my question is like, has that sustained you? Like, are you today still reaping the benefits from that? I am a little bit, but there got to a point where it was like, how many times am I going to do it?

You know, it was like, and it was like and it's like it's not my it's one character i do that you know when i did i had no idea it was gonna explode i was doing a whole bunch of stuff and it was like one of many characters i had um so it's died down for sure i mean it's been 11 that's like eight years but uh i could still sell like you know i've last year we did one like I could fill a couple hundred but I mean I don't want to

put a fucking outfit and dress on Gianna's too pure bro yeah Gianna's a real purist yeah but looking back I should have kept going

yeah like I stopped with four clips you know like you should have put her in different situations it should have been like

every week bang bang bang and I did the same thing with him I just didn't know You know what the difference between you and Walt Disney is? He rode with the mouse And he hated Jews I don't mind Jews

I don't mind Jews at all I don't mind anyone Ain't that impressive though that he built this empire He was hating Jews Oh you didn't know that? No I didn't I don't go against the mouse bro You already know me

All I'm saying is like, it's interesting. He was just like, I'm going to ride with this shit. You're such a pure comic that you're constantly peeling away at yourself. You're like, I don't know if I want to wear a dress. Who gives a fuck? I don't know if I want to do that character. You're going to have great success with this special and doing your stand-up. And you're like, I don't know if I should perform for people do you know what i mean like like real comedy

would just be me and a wall you know what i mean like so at a certain point of time you need to like i think you're gonna need to like go oh shit this is something i end up doing i need to recognize my blessings i've gone viral with two different characters and have immense success you know i mean like if I keep on getting blessed, you don't need to recognize that. Yeah, yeah. Well, hopefully I can bring it all together, you know? Maybe that's it.

Maybe we can just lift everything up, you know? So, yeah, I mean, I've been focusing on stand-up for a while, so hopefully this, I did a half-hour special. Nobody sees those shits. That's on Comedy Central. Does anybody come out from that? Nobody. What is it like when you?

Nobody. And that's where I made my big mistake. When he said like that would have been the biggest thing that happened being on Comedy Central, I'm like, are you fucking serious? Like that's like, it's nothing. And that's where I think I made my mistake is like I saw my friends doing like getting Montreal's and stuff. And I was the only one selling tickets and making money at that time of all guys now who are making money can't relate and uh and uh and i was going like i want that i was like i wanted montreal so i started focusing i got the

montreal i got the have i got nothing from that even the money you get from the half hour is not even close to the money you make from your fucking album. But you were chasing peer validation, man. That's how you go broke because they're not going to buy tickets to your shows. And the funny thing is And the business changed.

This is what I recognized early on in the business is like the people that the dudes at the table at the comedy club talk the most shit about are the asses

they kiss the most when they come to the club. Huh. Wait, say that again? So like, sounded like it was good, but I didn't get what you're saying. So we're at the table

and you hear people talking shit about a comic. And you can name Dane Cook. It doesn't matter, any comic. The second Dane walks into that club,

everybody, Dane, how are you? Oh my God, was everything like da-da-da-da-da? And it's like, oh, you're broke. I didn't realize it.

I thought you really cared about the comedy shit. You're just broke. And you're trying to rationalize why he's not broke. You're poor. It's true. You're a poor guy. Or a poor girl. So you're trying to justify this poverty that you're living in, right?

So once I picked that up, I was like, why am I trying to impress this poverty that you're living in right so once i picked that up i was like why am i trying to impress you motherfuckers right what that was the most liberating point for me in my entire career like stop trying to impress the people who don't buy tickets if i can impress the people who like my comedy that is the greatest reward that happens in every industry too and what ended up happening? What ended up happening? When I just went after When I just went after the people All of a sudden my peers

Started coming around Right I haven't been doing different comedy I'm doing the same type of comedy But all of a sudden my peers Started coming around They started recognizing it Because once they see

Their own salvation in you Then they love Then they love everything That you could put out Once they go Oh shit maybe I could Sell some tickets if I go that way, then it's, oh, Schultz really got something. Before I was offering anything to them, it was like, eh.

That's in every industry. You felt that in journalism? That was the first thing I was taught in music journalism. It was like, yo, you can either be a man of the industry or be a man of the people. You can't be both. You know what I'm saying? I was like, fuck, I'm being a man of the people. I'm be both you know what I'm saying I was like fuck

I'm being a man of the people I don't like I'm not an ass kisser I can't do that type of shit well but also the business changed too you gotta I mean we can't overlook that

of course the paradigm shift just technology everything just like we couldn't Andrew couldn't you guys couldn't have done

what you guys done no 12 years ago when the internet was when you didn't have social media and the internet and you didn't have social media and the internet and you didn't need

like a big machine behind you to really like push your shit out there. Back in the day, you needed that machine. You needed it. It was the only way to get on TV

was through that machine. And on top of that, not for nothing, like the fucking, the whole, the whole like politically correct shit, you know what I mean?

Like the only way you could get shit that wasn't PC was to find it on your own. And like that wasn't backed by like big proportions. All these things work in my favor. I'm not going to lie. There's, and anybody who has success

talks about the fact that there's luck. Nobody, you never find a single billionaire or anybody that goes. Timing, a lot of timing, yeah. So many, but there's work that you do before that allows that luck to expose itself, right? But a hundred percent, man, it's like, I don't think, it's like one of these, sometimes people think I'm like bitter about the industry.

It's like, I'm not fucking bitter. Like, I just had the guy who was forever, the guy, Louis Fran of New York Comedy Festival. So he's Caroline, Book's Caroline. Book Caroline, he blocked us out of the comedy festival. Didn't put us in a comedy festival. Yeah, he blocked me out too too because I went to Gotham same thing right

this last week how do we get Andrew at the New York comedy festival yeah yeah yeah sends that email to my agent my agent's like

do I have to like do I have to rip this guy a new asshole for doing that and it's like bro no there's no enemies in this business shit

it's just business it's just that's what these motherfuckers at the networks don't get I'm not friends with him anyway it's just business I wasn. It's just, that's what these motherfuckers at the networks don't get. I'm not friends with him anyway, it's just business. I wasn't mad when he kicked me out, I'm not happy when he brings me back in.

But you're dealing with theater nerds. Yeah. You're dealing with people who've been bullied, right? So like, their ego is in every decision they make. Right. That's why they keep giving people the same shit

that doesn't work. Right. Right? Because they're like, I have to be right. Right. Right? Yeah,

that's probably a good reason why can you make some money off me can I make some money off you who gives a fuck I don't know if it's theater nerds I think they just comics are just damn damaged insecure people the people who run the business are not comics Oh executives are theater nerds no but they're just like they're business people if you're making money that's what I thought but they're not making money their whole product is decaying in front of them they're in there but like he's coming back to Andrew they want knows Andrew's selling tickets.

So he don't care. Yeah, but I respect him. That motherfucker, at least, I can respect because he wants to make bread. Yeah. But there are certain people who don't. They're just like, I need to stick by my... Yeah. Well, then you're putting too much into the business.

You know? There are also people like that on both sides. There are creators who believe in the purity. also people like that on both sides there are creators who believe in the purity that you know there's something noble about turning down some fucking deal because they want to work on just the craft of you know scared scared that's an excuse they're scared of success i really believe that they're fucking scared of success because if you have the opportunity to do your craft at the highest level, you'll take it. It's like someone saying no to the NBA. I want to be in the G League because that's where real basketball is being played.

I don't want to play professional basketball. I just want to play in college. It's like, fuck out of here, bro. Go and you take your talents to fucking South Beach, man. Me personally. But it's not that. I don't think it's that. I mean, I think you're right.

It depends on the person. Because you could look at a guy like Van Gogh and you're going like, how come he didn't want to get to the... He did. Nobody wanted his shit. He was just... No, but I'm saying he was a mess as a human being, but he was talented. Yeah, but nobody cared about his shit until he was dead. Yeah, but that's because he was a mess.

No, because that was because he was alive. Once there's no more ability to make shit, he was... Supply demand. Once there's no more supply because my man is dead, all of a sudden he's valuable. Let's be honest. But a lot of people die who make art. A lot of people die and then their supply is done and nobody gives a shit. That's fair.

I mean, you look at Van Gogh's shit, you are truly blown away by it. I've been to Frick. It's the one painting i saw a scene in my life where i was like oh my god it it is transcends other art yeah is it yeah i bet you there's a couple of like black rock and roll guys who are like looking at elvis going like sure low richard like yeah if i had the marketing machine behind me or what you know it's like i mean what you're saying is true, but I think that there's exceptions.

Is this still the regular episode? Nah, nah, now we rocking. Now we're on Patreon? Yeah. Yeah, well, he's still recording, so we should. No, no, no, we're going to cut it in half anyway. All right. We should maybe stop for the recorder itself.

Should we? So it doesn't overheat. All right, well, let's stop here right before we get really good. Take a little minute break, five minute break. Okay, okay. No, no, five minute break. We can just. Stop. We're going to stop and then go

while you guys are back. Well, patreon.com slash flagrant2.