Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Trump’s Side Piece: The Sexiest Super Spread-Her

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia, and Mark discuss Trump's coronavirus, why SNL isn't funny, how to order the best dish at a restaurant, rapper homophobia is cocky, Trump's hot sidepiece proves politics is easy, Tyga's OnlyFans, and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2 Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy.

What's up everybody welcome to another episode of Flaker 2 I'm Andrew Schultz I got Akash Singh here Alex Media Mark Gagnon Taylor Taylor Gang on her period came in woofing yep yelling at us all saying yo I'm on my period and while we talking about discharge Trump just got discharged from the hospital. What's going on, yo? Trump's going home now? Did Trump beat Corona? Is Corona over? Do we not have anything to worry about anymore? Chris Christie got it? If Chris Christie survives, son, I don't believe in Corona,

yo. Chris Christie? Chris Christie? Yeah, dude. Is the penguin. He Danny DeVito, bro. Yo, real talk. Real talk. If this guy survives, Corona doesn't exist. He's Danny DeVito, bro. Yo, real talk. Real talk. If this guy survives, Corona doesn't exist. He's like Magic Johnson to AIDS.

Wait, what? Break that down. Hold on. I think I know where you're going. Go, go, go. See what I'm saying? What is it? I don't know really where I'm going to go with this.

Okay. But you guys are on board. Can I try? Can I try? Can I try? You guys are on board. Can I try, you pussy? You guys are on board, so I'm just going to leave it there. Magic beat AIDS. Okay. And now you start are on board. Can I try? Oh, yeah, I'm on board until you guys shake. Can I try, you pussy? You guys are on board, so I'm just going to leave it there.

Magic beat AIDS. Okay. And now you start looking at AIDS like, is that shit real? Magic got it in 91. Thank you. I don't look at AIDS like that. Why not? I'm still terrified of AIDS.

I be fucking gay dudes all the time. I don't get it. That's you. But imagine Mark's generation. We got new listeners that don't know you're actually straight, bro. Our guys coming out in the beginning of the episode before they know our humor. What you gonna do? Hey, guys, get on board. You can work condoms

with those dudes, our guy. We're gonna go off this hypothetical. Why would I do such a thing like that? Yeah, you're right. We're progressive over here. If Chris Christie can get it and bounce back, it's like, oh. I mean, he's gonna bounce. I don't know if it's gonna be back like me to a grave, but that guy's built for bouncing. I just can't believe that this guy got it.

Chris Christie. Trump. Bunch of people. Kellyanne Conway. I think she's good, right? She's skinny. She's a little old, but she's skinny. She's a little Tim Burton character.

She looks like the Nightmare Before Christmas. She is a Nightmare Before Christmas Halloween All them shit But I think she could make it Kaylee McEnany Oh no it's Kaylee McEnany I was thinking Who that bitch

She's the new Kellyanne Conway Okay She's younger Kellyanne Conway You know Trump gets younger bro Yo yeah Trump don't go with these old ones

Yo Trump is like a GM He's just trying to get younger At the position Real talk That's literally what Kaylee McEnany or whatever her name is. How Irish, bro? Just relax,

dude. Holy shit. She'd be coming up to the podium like, all right, what are the questions, guys? So, Al, break this whole thing down to us, man. What's going on? So, Trump is... So, both candidates agree to get tested before the debate what day is the debate

tuesday tuesday so tuesday both candidates agree to get tested before the yeah they were supposed to get there but i believe five to six hours earlier before the debate that's right because it's live okay now trump gets there late and he's like hey guys i don't want to hold up anything honor system i'm good let's just go on so we can start on time and they still started a little bit late yeah yeah and biden does get tested biden gets texted he's negative he's negative trump shows up late so he's like yo let's just get it popping yep because it's a 15 minute what'd you say mark rapid response test there's a 15 minute rapid response test so potentially they noted trump has it or could have it and they know that because Hope Hicks fell ill.

What day? Monday, was it? I think she has confirmed one. It was confirmed Wednesday, I think. Okay. But Hope Hicks. But I think there was an aide said that she was sick on Monday. On Monday, right?

I think she self-quarantined in the plane. If you guys don't know who Hope Hicks is, Hope Hicks was like an aide of Trump's. She's a joint, bro. A piece, a piece and a friend of Ivanka.

Ivanka. That's some OG shit where you start smashing your daughter's friends, bro. Yo, this girl's come up with so wild. Talk to me. I hopped on her Wikipedia

just to find out. Of course you did. Yeah, you did. You acknowledged the ass motherfucker. Tell me, what's Hope Hicks all about? You sound like a porn star,

don't you? Yeah, he does. I shout the Obama administration. I got Lexus, Texas kind of name, bro. Let's go. Talk to me. Tell me What's Hope Hicks all about You sound like a porn star Don't you She really does Michelle the Obama administration Alexis Texas Kind of name Let's go Talk to me So basically she

So like I saw her picture On Facebook first And it was like Hope Hicks gives Trump Corona And I was like Alright we gotta find out What the deal with her is Cause she was looking

Amazing in the picture Yeah I'll get a picture up So we can show to people So basically the deal With Hope Hicks Is like she used to be a model She's like some Connecticut girl Like rich She was like tight with ivanka was like managing all her shit

and then 2014 trump goes yo i think or no 2015 she goes i'm gonna run for president maybe it was late 2014 and literally sits her down she has no political experience he goes you're gonna be my press secretary and she goes all right she's like 26 or 28 or something that young she's young she's friends with iv? Isn't Ivanka mid-30s? 30-something? I don't know. I'm pretty sure she's young. She's like 28.

She's kind of a babe. Are you showing it to the people at home? She's kind of a babe. Okay, go on. So then she goes, all right, bet. I'll do it. And then she does it. He gets elected.

She becomes the interim press secretary and then ends up leaving the campaign, but then comes back, I think in January this year, and then gives his motherfucker corona but she's like just like some model no experience and trump's like yo you're gonna be you're gonna be my person what does that say about trump he's able just to pick random people to do these jobs yeah i don't think it says anything about trump i think it says something about politics that's how easy this shit is that's a better way to put it i'm this whole time i used to look at these people hard to be a president no i used to look at these people and be like yo yo, press secretary, that's amazing.

Like, I wonder like what Ivy League you got to go to to be a press secretary. I never thought about that for press secretary. Really? Yeah.

I look at any, any high-ranking job. What do you got to do? I thought if you're in the White House and you're interacting with the president every day, I would have thought

you are from like an amazing pedigree yourself even. Word? Yeah. To be the secretary? The press secretary. The press secretary.

What do you got to do? You got to be the secretary of all press secretary. The press secretary. What do you gotta do? You gotta be the secretary of all the secretaries. How does the president feel about it? You should talk to him. That's literally what you do. How would I know? I look like the president? I'm the secretary. Can I take a message?

I just called. There was some posting notes. I put it on the Oval Office door. Here you go. Here's a copy-dox copy of what he says. That's it. Yo, would you do that job? Be honest. Be a press secretary? Hell yeah.

Get the desk where you can get the bobo underneath, but no one can see. You know the wooden desk with the big cardboard? Ain't no male secretary hitting his dick sucker under the chicken. Yo, the bobo. You never heard of that? That's the bobo. Taylor, cover your ears. With Akash Cousin's hair.

He's got a wildly appropriated yard. What? Taylor, cover your ears with Akash Cousin's hair. Shut up. Wildly appropriated, y'all. What? Stealing that hair, yo. Is this from India? Say what? Where is it from? Where is it from?

Some other brown country I know. It's not from India. It's from Sri Lanka. Point is... Cheap ass hair. Point is, yo, why you got hate on them Sri Lankans, yo? Point is, I don't...

I think that Trump is exposing something quite interesting about government, which is any idiot can do it. And I'm not saying the girl is an idiot, but she's a model. So it's not like you can't be smart as a model, but you cannot be. You can definitely not. You cannot be smart and be a model. Right.

Right. I think we've all, and I mean that for men and women. Like, would you hire a male model to do anything but model al absolutely not what if a guy was like i'm a male model but now i could do audio visual shit nah mark is laughing at the idea of him coming up here putting up the lights but hella squeezing his ass to get the v-line zoolander is an entire movie about how stupid male models are that's it and imagine if you're a woman even dumber jokes taylor's on that period how stupid male models are. That's it. And imagine if you're a woman, even dumber.

Jokes, Taylor's on that period. She gonna swing. Taylor came in saying she was on her period, so I gotta be on good behavior. She said her PMS was last week, but I gotta be on good behavior. Point is, he is exposing. You can just put anybody in there.

Right. The post office dude. Yeah. The post office general. Yeah. Or whatever that is. Would you do that, John? The postmaster? The postmaster master. Son, the post Yeah Or whatever that is Would you do that The post master

The post master master Son the post master How many masters we got Bro I've been trying to put Master on a lot of shit Yo what if he called himself The post massa What if he was like

I'll do it I gotta change the name slightly Taylor don't look at me like that I'm saying he was gonna do it Not me Why are envelopes white Why don't you ask yourself These questions

Yeah Okay The manila folder Is yellow Where's manila Not me. Why are envelopes white? Why don't you ask yourself these questions? Okay. The Manila folder is yellow. Where's Manila? Oh, Philippines. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Maybe NASA is running a fucking post office. How do white people greet each other?

Manila. Whoa. Manila. You asked me. You never heard that one? No. You never heard white guys walk up to each other and be like, what's up, my MAGA? Yeah.

You never heard that? I'm pretty sure they have, though. They do that. And sometimes they use ER and I say dead that shit, yo. Shut up. They do. Haven't you heard that shit? They got a lot of history behind it.

I won't even say it with the ER. Yeah. Make America greater. Oh my God. Anyway, point is, a lot of these jobs any of us could do. Why have we been putting them on a pedestal? A pedestal? Are you serious right now?

A pedestal, guys. A pedestal. A pedestal. Tell me, I couldn't be press secretary. I'll write pedestal in the notes. It's pedestal. Why notes It's pedestal Why It's pedestal Pedestal

Stal S-T-A-L Now you're wilding bro Yeah It's not pedestal I thought it was stool At least Nah

How do you spell it That's the most trans black You ever been P-E-D-E-S-T-A-L Did you learn that At a library That's where I spent My valentine's days

Let me ask you one thing so so but for real i think a lot of these positions you don't need any expertise in ben carson right yes this guy is a genius neurosurgeon okay you know ben carson in trump's cabinet the guy's the head of housing what's that guy do a dang thing former head of housing he's not still the head of housing. What's that got to do with anything? Former head of housing. He's not still the head of housing? R.I.P. Dot. That's Herman Cain, bro.

Jesus. What the hell? Jesus. Oh, shit. See, some would say they all look alike. Al, you're a wild ass boy over there, bro. Sir, there's not many black people in this cabin. I'm surprised.

God. Dude. Thank God you didn't say he was the rice dude, bro. So there's not many black people in this cabinet I'm surprised God damn Dude Thank God you didn't say he was the rice dude bro If you did that That would be the most inappropriate comment ever Someone call him an uncle Ben You know what I mean You got that

Point is though You could do any of these jobs All of us could do these jobs What's so difficult about it I don't think I feel like y'all are getting it confused Just because Donald Trump is in office I feel like That's the point Donald Trump is in office Yeah like I don't think I feel like y'all Are getting it confused Just because Donald Trump Is in office I feel like

That's the point Donald Trump is in office Yeah like I don't think How crazy is that Trump proved that Any of us could do it Honestly How hard is it to do

That's actually If we don't have a deep state I'm a little concerned That's a great point I think we need a deep state To fix all the fuck shit That the dummies end up doing When they get in there

Yeah If you got If you got Trump, you need a deep state. You need a deep, not even Trump, all of them. You need a deep state.

I need a deep state of young minds. We're going up against China. You think I need Nancy Pelosi going up against China? Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, China? Who you think is winning that?

Be honest. Nancy Pelosi can't even do a lunge yeah do you remember when she tried to kneel for black lives matter and then she just stayed there they had to pick that bitch up she laid down she laid down for black lives matter bro yeah and the rest of them left her there she's like look at her trying to brag how much she cares. Oh, you care that? You care two minutes? I hate you. What? I'm just saying, we need a deep state.

Yeah, I think you're right. Wouldn't you guys feel a little safer if you knew that there were some supremely intelligent people running America underneath the people who say they're running America? Yes. A little safer. 100%. 100%. Mark? Keeping us on the top of the empire.

That's it. Just keep us on the top. Al. I don't know. I want to know the people who are supposed to be running this shit. You want to know who makes the sweatsuit you got on? No, you don't. You just want the sweatsuit to be fly, right? I want to know where it's coming from. Exactly.

You don't want to know where it's coming from. You don't want to know how the sausage is made. You don't want to know where it's coming from. You don't want to know how the sausage is made. You don't want to know where it's coming from. Yeah, I want to know where it's coming from. You want to know how many degrees it is in the room?

No, I just want to know who it's coming from. That's it. So I want to know who the orders are coming from. Okay, so you want to know. You're fine that it's made in a fucked up way.

You just want to know who's responsible for the fucked upness. Yeah. Okay. So he wants to know who is in charge of the deep state,

but you don't care what they're doing You're with them Yeah Do what you gotta do To keep us number one I think most people Want plausible deniability

What do you mean by that? I think most people like They want life to be beautiful They want life to be effortless And they don't want to know The cost of that beauty 100% Oh yeah

Right? Yeah Like if you really want If you really like Knew what we had to do To have this life You might feel pretty shit 100% 100%. Oh, yeah. Right? Like, if you really knew, if you really, like, knew what we had to do to have this life, you might feel pretty shit. 100%.

I openly, I realized this years ago, I don't want to know. I enjoy the life of luxury that America provides for most of its citizens. I don't want to know how we got it

because I know it comes at a cost of other people. Like, we're fucking over a lot of other countries to have this shit. Yeah, I do that when I eat lamb. Go.

Just, they're so cute. And I eat a lamb and I go, this is kind of messed up a little bit. In this case, the lamb. What's a lamb? A lamb like a baby sheep. Like when he's eating the meat, lamb, he doesn't want to think about how they killed this little cute ass animal. Yeah. In our case, the lamb is Africa.

Bro. Fuck. Wow. Bro. At least you're the lamb is Africa. Bro. Fuck Adam. Wow. Bro. At least you're calling it Cuban. God damn. I think you're, yeah, man. I feel like, I feel like I kind of knew that.

Wait, you knew what? That a lamb was a sheep. A baby sheep. You put me on to that. I did put you on to that, didn't I? And now I don't really be eating lamb that much no more. Makes no difference to me. Yeah.

You don't have to block it. You don't mind. You don't want possible liability. I learned no more. Makes no difference to me. Yeah. You don't have to block it. You don't mind. You don't want possible liability. I learned about lamb the food before lamb the animal. Yeah. So lamb has always been a food to me. You know what I'm saying? Okay.

So the fact that it is a baby sheep, I don't even have a visual of what a baby sheep is. What? I don't have a visual. Sheep are just old. I don't have a visual of that. You were the one that said it. I can't believe this shit. I blocked it I don't have a visual of that you were the one that said it I can't believe this shit

I blocked it out of my memory yo no bullshit I'm not even agreeing with you just because I don't know what a lamb looks like thank you

I'm picturing sheep the one that goes over the moon over the moon and goats with the little thingy exactly but why does the lamb

fall in between that you don't gotta worry about it and also we not even gonna look at it it's just food let the deep state handle lamb I'm all about there being a deep state in the meat industry too yeah

i'm cool with deep state for lamb deep state for lamb because i know that i get fired lamb at the end of the day i eat euro meat at the hummus place and the son that can't be lamb excuse me a lamb is just a sheep without all like a sheep has a lot more. Is it fur? I guess. Did you just explain some shit and ask us what it is? I couldn't believe it. I was hearing.

Yo, she said, excuse me, excuse me. A lamb is, Oh, I don't know what the fuck that is. Why would I stop the point?

Somebody tell me what a lamb is. Someone give me black woman confidence, bro. I need black woman confidence. You got that. I woman confidence, bro. I need black woman confidence. You got that. I don't know what you call it. I don't know what you call it. Are you trying to say that a lamb?

You don't know a lot. That's what you don't know. Learn something about lamb. Are you trying to say? I know what a lamb is. No, it's not. It's a gay sheep. It's a gay sheep.

Yes, it is. And I know you're thinking I didn't think sheeps could get any gayer but they can I'm not gonna lie that's why we'd be grilling them under the fire

maybe just a bleep maybe just a little bleep isn't that the sound they a bleep Maybe there's a little bleep Isn't that the sound they make? Bleep Yeah I'll just cover that with a bleep Literally Yo who says bah? Is that lamb?

Bah That's a sheep Bah Yo Bah I'm not gonna lie Most animals are kinda gay Walking on all fours Like you want it

Why you walking like that You pussy all high Get your pussy low Why you pussy all high Pussy up here What's a straight animal What animal doesn't walk gay Rhinosaurus

Rhinosaurus Rhinosaurus Like it's a fucking dinosaur It is a dinosaur It's got a stone coming out of his face It's a fucking dinosaur yeah it is a dinosaur it's got a stone coming out of his face it's a dinosaur I'm gonna call that shit

rhinoceros rhinoceros rhinoceros it's rhinoceros why you why you gotta call it rhinoceros it's rhinoceros

the name is kinda gay rhinoceros yeah that shit is gay also why you call nose jobs rhinoplasty? That shit make you want to know something. Like imagine your doctor looks at your nose like, yo, you need rhinoplasty, you big nose bitch.

Dead ass, I think that's the marketing. You like got a fucking horn on there. Like a horn. Let's get rid of it. You say that to Inception like, yo, my shit is huge. But then now it also makes me think rhino means nasal cavity or something like that. It means something about nose in like old Latin. So they're just saying nose dinosaur.

Like a rhinoceros is just nose dinosaur. But they do got that shit. But it's not dinosaur because you're adding sorus and they don't say sorus. Yeah, they do, dogs. They do. You just pronounce it wrong. It's rhinosaurus. Yo, they do pronounce it like that dude for real what say it how you say it right okay taylor

well what's the baby rhinoceros what's your call that we really going to forget the fact that Taylor said that a lamb was a sheep with a fade? No, she didn't. No, she did not. Everyone listening is like, wait, did she just say a lamb? You said it was a sheep with a haircut? She was asking questions. No, you said it was a sheep. Smaller sheep. With a fade.

You can't just say the thing I said to make fun of you to say what you were saying, Taylor. Taylor's the wildest of girls, yo We need period Taylor more often Bro, you only invited on your period Keep taking them sugar pills or whatever's necessary To keep that shit flowing We like period Taylor only

She says some dumb shit, we copy it back She just takes it and then pushes it back down That's not what I said What I said was, it's a sheep with a fade Real talk, she's like Black Panther's suit, bro. She takes all the fuck shit we say to her and then regenerates it as a weapon.

Cut it out, Taylor. Over here. Black Panther. I just watched that movie recently. Bro, Forrest Whitaker. Just cut it out, dog. Motherfucker been faking this for the last 20 years, bro. You're telling me, you're really telling me,

yo, Forrest, you're really telling me you can't just be like that? You really can't just go like that? You can't be here like, black panther. He's got one sclerosis, bro. Yo, a single sclerosis, bro. If you got one singular one, that's what you got. That's what it is. He got a sclerosis, bro A single sclerosis, bro If you got one singular one, that's what you got That's all it is

He got a sclerosai He got a sclerosai Watch the movie, that's what they should do for a benefit for him Just watch Black Panther This motherfucker can't even watch his own movies He's just sitting in the movie like, which part am I in? He's never actually Why are you talking like that?

His name is Forrest dog He got the same name As the retard in the movie What do you want him to call him What are we supposed to call him Desert Desert Plains

Sahara Whitaker That's gonna be fire Sahara Whitaker Will be fire That is a fire ass name Forrest Whitaker Didn't he have a twin Huh

I thought he had a twin No he did Cause if he had a twin We would have replaced his ass By now Yo real talk A two eyed twin A two eyed Forrest Whitaker?

Come on. Or get a surgery. Literally, all it is is a lever. You could put a little button. Why would you put a little button on something you push on your wrist like a little Spider-Man? A small spring or something? A small spring. It's your eyelid.

Don't women get their eyelids fixed all the time? Brian Callen got his eyelid fixed. R.I.P. What if he got them shut? So he's like, I don't even want to see what's happening to me right now. That was the surgery.

Perfectly shut. Until this Me Too is over. He got a forest of plastic. It's going to be a reason Why his eyes like that And then What's wrong? I got pissed

I'm about to piss my pants Come on son See I'm gonna pull that next time I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just

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I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just

I was just That's crazy. What? Can you say it? What? This is the only time I'm letting you speak. Yo, say your dumb shit. No. Because my theory when I was a kid, right? About Forrest Whitaker? No. About guys peeing. Okay. I don't know what just happened.

I'm trying to figure. Do you think Forrest Whitaker ever just went like that even? Oh, yeah. Just rubbed it? He might have eye crudges. That's it. Just rub it, dog. Yeah.

That fixes it, though. Literally. It really does fix it. Didn't you get your eye fixed or something like that yeah what happened I was slap boxing with my cousin

when I was younger and like one of the slaps made my eye go crooked and then he just quickly grabbed my eye rubbed it real quick

bang I was right back what dead ass you could fix lazy eye with just rubbing it to his eye

no that's unbelievable bro he ain't even trying he's not even trying I will fix Forrest Whitaker if he comes on this podcast I'll fix him right there he can sit right not even trying. I will fix Forrest Whitaker if he comes on this podcast. I'll fix him right there.

He can sit right next to Akash. I will fix his eye right there. Guaranteed. How do you fix his eye? Tape. Dr. Scotch. I'm going to get some scotch. I'm going to get some electrical. Electrical might be a little...

All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second because some of y'all are balding and we need to stop that. Some of y'all won't admit to yourself that you're balding. That's embarrassing. It is embarrassing, but I get it also because the last thing that you want to admit is you're falling off. You see a lot of rappers like this, right? You see a lot of actors like this. There's probably an actor out there making Blade 7.

We don't need Blade. We got Black Panther. You're right about it. Okay? Right, Taylor? Black Panther. Full head of hair. You're right about it. Okay. Right, Taylor? Blackpented. Full head of hair. You're right. Okay. What you need to do is get ahead of your balding. All right. No pun intended.

You have to do that with keeps. It's very simple. Okay. I've been using the same active ingredient for the last decade. Look at this. Full head of hair. Absolutely beautiful. If you notice it's starting to fall off a little bit, jump on it right that's the time to do it stop lying to yourself don't lie to yourself okay if you notice a little bit get on top of it keeps.com use the promo code flagrant no no keeps.com slash for www.keeps.com slash flagrant that is what i meant to say keeps.com slash flagrant slash flagrant and what do they get their first month of treatment for free that's it you know i'm on top of it, right? Because it's a great deal.

There we go. I'll be knowing good deals. That's it. Tell them one more time. Keeps.com slash flagrant. K-E-E-P-S dot com slash flagrant. You know what it is. Yo, while you're keeping your hair, make sure you keep an eye out for some show dates.

Your boy is going to be in Trumbull, Connecticut this Friday, October 9th. I am headlining the Connecticut Comedy Festival at InSports, 7.30 p.m. It's going to be outdoors. It's going to be socially distanced. It's on a football field. We're taking all the precautions. So bring that ass through.

And October 21st through 24th, I'm going to be at Acme Comedy Company in Minneapolis. It's one of the best comedy clubs in the country. It's my first time there, so let's make sure we pack that bitch out as much as we can while being responsible. You can get the tickets

at my website, akashsingh.com, A-K-A-A-S-H-S-I-N-G-H.com. Let's get back to the show. All right, yo, we're back from a pee break. Akash just walked out of set like black China,

no jumper. This dude had enough. I had enough. I couldn't handle it. He had enough. I was being slandered. And then he just walked out and then uh mark said a really offensive joke actually that's what you might have done you

might have walked out like as a uh what is it like when you strike first preemptive preemptive strike oh yeah yeah because mark said that um forrest whitaker is a half asian is half Asian. Come on, bro. The left half? I didn't say that. You didn't say that, bro. Unless it was funny.

Yeah, I said that shit, bro. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. Anyway, so look, we're back. We got some important, we have an important thing that I want to share with you guys. But first, I want to talk about something.

Why can't Trump take the car ride to say hi to his family? I don't know. What was the big deal with that? What's the big fucking deal? I don't know. Because if he was in harm's way, then he's putting other people in harm's way.

His Secret Service people, whose job is literally to die for him if they need to. I just don't get the big fucking deal. He should have jumped in front of that cough that gave him cold in the first place. 100%. With that pussy juice.

Yeah. Jumpinging that shit like Soulja Boy. Whoa. That's how you know Trump gets intimate because if he did get it from Hope Hicks,

that means he's not just getting top or bobo, as I said before, and that you were so upset about, Al. Yeah, that's me. You've never heard bobo?

No, because I, like, Puerto Ricans call the thing they suck on bobo. Puerto Ricans are gay, they suck on Bobo. Puerto Ricans are gay. Mostly they pacify. They call that a Bobo.

So it just do they really? Yeah, that's wild, bro. That's cuties, dude. That's a little too cuties, man. What you mean? You turned it into something, bro. You turned it into something. Fuck out of here.

Why does he have to have sex with Hope? Y'all say Hope. But hold on back. Yeah. One second. Sorry, Taylor. Why does he have to have sex with Hope Huh Y'all say Hope But hold on back Yeah One second Sorry Taylor I understand He's not getting intimate

With these girls Right You would think He's just getting some head Or he's just fucking Whatever But in order to get the corona From a girl

You're probably making out Tongues are involved Tongues are involved He's tongue kissing Or he's He's up in that Do you really think He's still sexually active You don't think He's sexually active I just can up in that. Do you really think he's still sexually active?

You don't think he's sexually active? I just can't. 100%. 100%. 100%. Guys like him are the reason

they made Viagra. You don't think he fucks? He just doesn't. I don't know. I guarantee you. He's 100% honest. You think he fucks?

I don't. Like him and Melania, their relationship, it seems so strange. He ain't fucking Melania. That's why she won't hold his hand. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

That's not fun. I think he gets handies. I think he'd be grabbing her hand and she's like, that's just sore, family. Is he a carpal tunnel? Yeah, she's literally locked in, bro. Bet money Trump got a Bluetooth subscription. Oh, 100, 100. Promo code flagrant.

Run it back. I don't know. You think he's like smoking out like AIDS? You really think he's like banging out Hope Hicks? I think he's getting head. If you don't get head at the table. That's what I'm saying. He might be getting serviced.

He's getting serviced. He's getting secretly serviced. He's getting. He's getting secretly serviced. I didn't know. Oral office. Can I be nice with you

why would you not have all female secret service to protect you oh wait you're not supposed to

fuck your secret service whoa you guys are crazy out here dude no but why would you that is the

best secret if you fucking all your secret service you think we have one gay president John Adams

yeah I don't know why I just put that on him. That's disrespectful, bro. I was just watching Hamilton. I got Disney Plus. I was watching Hamilton the musical, bro. And the king was shitting on John Adams. Yeah, but that's the king.

Who gayer than the king? Yeah, that's a good point. Son, the king don't even try to be straight. Yeah. Not at all. Have you seen Hamilton the musical on Disney Plus? That shit is incredible bro it's the best the best my homie was i'm not gonna miss my shot

i'll tell you the whitest shit about. When that Hamilton soundtrack dropped on Spotify, he was like, everyone has to listen. He texted me, you have to listen to the Hamilton soundtrack. I listened. I was like, what the fuck? No, no, no, no, no, no. You're bugging? The Hamilton soundtrack is fire.

But the craziest thing about Drew is that he listened to the Hamilton soundtrack without seeing the fucking play. Oh, yeah, I never saw the play. So you're an idiot for that no i just saw the play after years later i didn't need it bro i visualized it dude i visualized it man i put it all together there's people listening to this podcast right now they're not visualizing even though they can over youtube.com i'm just saying i'm just saying I visualized it and it was so amazing it was so beautiful and it was inspiring

oh my god the American journey literally Hamilton that's the deep state Hamilton's rap for theater kids it is nah son rap for theater kids

Mark don't disrespect don't disrespect son you're talking to a real black man he's dressing purple right now okay he's a purple justice I showed up like it was Easter fuck out of here son

if a drug dealer went to church on Easter, that's the outfit he'd wear. Down to the watch, though. Holy shit. Now, that fit's fire. That fit is fire. Hamilton, I've listened to the soundtrack. Yo, yo, yo.

You about to shit on Hamilton? Be careful, bro. I get you wish there was more Lafayette, Lafayette, or whatever the fan shit you come from. Where's Rochambeau's part? You don't get it all. Going to see Hamilton. I saw it.

It was dope. Don't put on airs. I cried, son. What is it? How do you get it? What is that term? Don't put on airs. I ain't putting on airs.

Yeah, why are you putting on airs, bro? Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me, yo. Don't do that to me, yo. Hey, don't you dare accuse me of putting on airs. I'm airless out this bitch. I don't even got on Nikes. I'm airless.

You'll be putting on airs. You think you're too good for Nike. You'll be putting on airs, bro. You'll be putting on airs. Don't do that. You'll be putting on airs. I'll fucking point. Don't do that shit.

That's calling me all right is saying I put on airs. It's the same shit. Oh, shit. Okay, I'll be all right. That probably helps him out a little bit. That's my That's calling me Alright is saying I put on airs Yeah You're both Oh shit Okay I'll be alright I don't know That probably helps him Out a little bit Yeah

What you talking about I don't give a fuck Proud boy Stand by Hang out Whatever I'm Akash Singh Hey we'll talk later

I'm Akash Singh I'll be on message boards Yo how many of them Were standing by the hospital None Whoa they're fake as fuck Where were they at bro He literally said

Stand by Cause I'm gonna have corona That's what That's they at, bro? He literally said, stand by, because I'm going to have Corona. That's all he needed y'all to do is stand by the dude, literally got in a car looking for y'all. Stand by the car. Stand by the hospital. With the hot shoe. Can you believe it? Yeah, bro. Hand up on the

window. DMV. DMV. That's so pussy that we're trying to make him feel bad for threatening his secret service three people with corona that's the thing it's a plastic like the uber secret service is there to intercept bullets from assassins yeah like they're so grateful that their only risk is like a old guy coughing on them can i say something right now a mask wait a minute this is actually very important You can't be his secret service unless you have Corona.

Think about it. In order to protect him, you got to be in the room with him while he got Corona. So you must either get Corona or have already had it so you could protect him. Think about that.

You can't be like, oh, sorry fam sorry fam, I gotta be six feet away from you while you got Corona. Yeah. Every Secret Service person had to have already had it. After he gets Corona, it's like, if you're Secret Service,

you just have to be cool. You gotta get Corona. It's like what we were doing here. Yeah. If one of us got it, we all got it. Yeah. Except Taylor.

She getting the fucking boot. If you get Corona, you getting the boot. You know what I'm saying? Deal with that shit. Shorty. You know, gotta bring that rona over here disrespecting why would i have yo you why wouldn't you why wouldn't you step y'all wait a minute but wait what were we just talking about to say i'm talking about secret service shit like literally reagan

secret service guys got shot for him lived yeah he's Yeah. He's up. They don't die. Like Trump's guys, they don't give a fuck. Like, I don't get the hate where people are like, oh man, Trump's putting his Secret Service members

in danger. That's why liberals are losers, man. Him going in public is putting them in danger. Him being the president and them being Secret Service is putting themselves in danger. Their job is to be in danger.

It's like saying like, oh, the military is in danger. It's like, yeah, dude. That's the point, right? That's pussy. That's soft. That's real soft. I think that-

They are the Navy SEALs of bodyguards. Like, you're the best of the best, the most elite of the elite. You think they're scared of fucking coughing? Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Grow up. The counterpoint is like, oh, he didn't have to go out. He went out just for his own ego.

Nah, you gotta do it. Nah, that is the point. But I'm- Where did he go out? He went to his car. Yeah, but why go out? He gotta leave the hospital. Yo, yo, yo, yo.

Yo, yo, you gotta make a moment, bro. Yeah, he did it to leave the hospital. Yo, yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, you got to make a moment, bro. Yeah, he did it from inside the hospital with the videos and shit. He put out Twitter videos. You got to say what up to the people, bro. You got to say what up to your boys. Yo, yo, yo. Come on, bro. Throw the setup.

Spin around the block a little bit. That's it. At least he had a top on, JFK, dummy. You know what I mean? At least he learned a lesson. Get your wig pushed back, literally. Wow. He did get his wig pushed back, literally. Wow. He did get his wig pushed forward.

Technically, that shit came from the back. Yeah. We're going to talk about a comb-over. Oh. You know, whose comb-over was crazier, JFK or Trump? Real talk. Who got the crazier comb-over? Real talk.

Cat food, JFK? Come on. Jesus. I don't know why I'm going so. Hey, real talk. Real talk. Cat food, JFK? Come on. I don't know why I'm going so hard on JFK. All he was trying to do is liberate the people. Yeah. Talk about Marilyn Monroe a little bit. He smashed Marilyn Monroe. You want to talk about Hope Hicks?

Yeah, OG Hope Hicks. OG Hope. She gave him syphilis. Did she? Really? I made that up. Damn, bro. Crazy, though, to think about.

That's an old man disease to get. Yeah, right? Syphilis, rickets. Yeah, gout. Gout. Gout ass mother. You know how much pussy you got to disease to get. Yeah, right? Syphilis, rickets. Yeah, gout. Gout. Gout-ass mother. You know how much pussy you gotta eat to get gout, Mark? No, if you get leprosy from the pussy.

Dude, scurvy. Scurvy. But gout, they say, is the rich man's disease. Because you eat too much meat. That's right, that prime rib. Ooh. That dangle. Sometimes, sometimes you gotta... you weren't here for that episode

we're here we're talking about the cobra kai mom oh yeah the meats yo you ever you ever listen to andrew talk about restaurants that he's been to in new york no no what did i do you just you were explaining some restaurant you went to like an hour ago okay and then you were the way he explains it he goes all right so we go to this restaurant it's real small super hard to get a reservation whatever we're just sitting there we're just sitting there yo he just drops this on me like whatever so he just said that and he goes yeah there's a place across the street they say it's the same burger it's not the same burger okay it's not the same

burger you got to go to this spot it's got the best for they's not the same burger, okay? It's not the same burger. You gotta go to this spot. It's got the best burger. They say the prime rib's better. I don't give a shit. I go for the burger. You know what he's doing? Best prime rib. That's what I call putting on air.

You put on air. You put on air. What do they serve the burgers on? Airs? They be putting that shit on airs? Yo, that felt, I felt that in my heart right there, dude. That was super disrespectful

what you just did. Are you a foodie, dude? Because there's a foodie? Because you talk about food, man. Nah, he just wants to. I spend so much goddamn money I'm Do you consider yourself a foodie? Because you talk about food, man. Nah, he just wants to... I spend so much goddamn money, I'm about to call myself a foodie, man. We went to this place.

The reason why I say it's hard to get a reservation is because I want you to get your hopes up. You know what I'm saying? Your hopes could be way up. Yeah, I know. Shit like that, yo.

You better get your hopes hicked, boy. Yeah, yeah. Don't get hope, you hick. Really? I need a full ass hick. But? I need a four-ass hick. But it's called Four Charles. Okay? Oh, I've heard of that.

The best burger. Super hard to get a hick. That shit's like impossible. I hate it. I'm gonna take you one day, Taylor. None of y'all ever have a motherfucker. What a stupid fucking name for a burger. Why?

Four Charles. It just sounds gay. What kind of skinny-ass, non-meat-having-ass, Hindu-ass, beefless burger are you eating? Man, why are you going all the way eating? That sounds like a pussy ass burger. Fort Charles? The address, bro. Fort Charles? Yes, Fort Charles Street.

Gay, bro. Get a real address. 106. You know what I mean? Get three numbers in your shit. What is it? If you got two numbers or less in your address, you gay, son. You gay.

That's some gay shit. Wait, what? That's some gay shit. I'm at 28 Broadway Almost Why? I got a skinny ass AIDS address

You got bro Beat that shit up What's your address though? I got four numbers What is it? 8108 Out that bitch 8

1 8 Is the same number as 8 And 0 Is not a number So you technically have two numbers What's your address? Man I don't want to get into it

I don't want to get into it What's your stupid gay ass address? I don't want to get into it What? What are you talking about? I got mad numbers in my streets, bro. That shit is crazy, the amount of numbers I got. Wait, how did we even get here?

Because you're talking about your pretentious food taste. Oh, yeah, that's the thing. Listen, I might go to a fine restaurant. You know what I'm saying? I might go to a fine restaurant. I feel you, son. It is what it is. I got to treat myself right.

My girl likes ice cream. He's not talking about Red Lobster, Alex. He's talking about actual fine dining. Hey, hey, hey. Can I tell you one thing? Red Lobster is the finest. No, no, no, no, no. I got something. I got something for you. Where black people and white people can agree 100% on food. You ready for it? You ready? You ready for it?

The boil. Oh, shit. I told you, girl. Listen, the boil, that's the place where they put the food in the plastic kind of like so basically they put Yo, Taylor just got Blacker than black I'm talking about A bloody mess with that cherry Put a little lamby in there Forget about it No, in all seriousness The Boyle is this

Like series of restaurants I think they have Different type as well But essentially It's just what? It's like seafood Potatoes Spices

It's incredible It's unbelievable And it's so easy It's easy You literally They give you a bib Because you know You're gonna get all fucked up

You're messy as fuck But when you go in there, tell me it's not the most diverse restaurant you've ever seen. Nobody putting on airs. Nobody putting on airs in the boil. It's too messy. It's too messy.

Every time I've been there, it's only been black people. Maybe you go to a different one, but every time I go, it's only black people, son. You go 1230 at night or some shit, bro. We got to wake up early, man. You see white people there?

Yes. Yes. Maybe I'm going to the wrong one. Yeah, you are. Which one are you going to? You want to go to the white boil? early, man. You see white people there? Yes. Yes. Maybe I'm going to the wrong one. Yeah, you are. Which one are you going to? You want to go to the white boil? Damn, Alex. Damn, sellout ass Alex.

I'm going to the wrong boil. Alex tries to front. Why do you think he started going to the boil, man? Shut the fuck up. Why do you think he started? You know what? You're just looking for seafood sluts. That's what he was looking for.

Yo, you're all plastic bag. You won't eat one of those with me. What were you saying, Akash? He lost his invite to the cookout. That's why he's going to the boil. Oh my goodness, Al. That's because you ain't going to no cookouts, Al. I've never lost it. Whoa, what about the carne asada?

Are you invited to that? What? The carne asada. I'm not Mexican, bro. Oh, fuck. Yo. Dang it. What about the carne asada? Are you invited to that? To what? The carne asada. I'm not Mexican, bro. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Dang it.

Wait, is it boiled? You got to like cook your own food? No. That's Japanese people and Koreans. Show us the Koreans for the biggest hustle ever, bro. Hey, you want to come to our restaurant? Yeah. You cook.

Thank you. That's idiotic. This is why I hate fondue. I thought the boil was like one of those like hot pot places like where you like you put all your food in it no this they put that shit for you they boil that shit for you

why is it in a plastic bag can we understand that so you can shake that shit up with the seasoning ah but it's put there after the fact you just don't eat with the seasoning

god damn why did you get the why did you they'd be asking me like which season do you want I'm like I'll just have the lobster please and the shrimps

I don't need any old bay sauce just steam with water yo water is flavorful that's the thing they don't forget truffle in it i don't fuck that truffle bro oh word nah why that's one thing white women got wrong but pumpkin spice pumpkin let's keep it up pumpkin yo white people everybody wants to talk about karen's karen's invented pumpkin spice so put some respect on it. Nah, white people killed it with pumpkin. We did. Y'all killed it with pumpkin. Nobody wanted pumpkins before us.

Nobody can take that shit from you, no. Yeah. Pumpkin fucking... Ain't gourds the ones with the herpes on it? What? You never seen the pumpkins with the herpes on it? The rich man's disease? The rich man's disease.

The gourds? Son, if you don't got gout and herpes, you not rich. Nah, I believe that. If you don't got gout and herpes, you're not rich. Nah, I believe that. If you don't got gout and herpes, you're not rich. Nah, I believe that. Real talk. That's the sign of a king.

Damn. That's the sign of a king. Okay, you got gout in your feet and bran on your dick. You're a king. Black panther. Yo, you know how they got dope ass technology in wakanda but do you know about that yes i'm just saying what's going on with your have you seen that seen what did they have the dope technology there i watched because they got vibranium i watched

black panther like every once every month oh really yeah that's crazy it's like your period yo she's trying to brag to the kids around you around and you're like, I'm getting real pissed. I think I'm watching Black Panther next week. That's how the PMS calms down. Panther menstrual symptoms. I just really like the movie. No, that's a fire movie, man. They cured sickle cell with that shit.

Oh, shit. Really? Yeah. Man, that's nice of them. Motherfucker. Yo. Yo, what? You're lucky.

We don't got some fancy fucking scientists cure white diseases why are you making it seem like wakanda's real it is real is real is real what's going on bro yo that's crazy that's crazy, though. Think about it. Wakanda, bro. Israel's Jewish Wakanda. Ah. Jew-conda. It's Jew-conda.

Don't disrespect. Chad Wakey passed away. He was a real, you know, our king. And now you're going to say that it was Jew-wha- What are you doing? Chew-wha-wha? He's called Chew-wha-wha. Chew-wha? He's called a Chihuahua. Juwanna country?

Come on, Taylor. Yo, Taylor. Yo, period Taylor's another level, yo. You need to calm down over there, dude. You need to calm down. Nah, nah, you're getting a little bit out of pocket. I'm not- I try to bring up Black Panther one time. Yo, you gotta say it like

Forrest Whitaker, man. Come on. I am not going to do that. Try to pronounce it once. Black Panther. Just try it. I bet you can't do it as well as Andy. Try it one time. I bet you can't.

I bet you can't. Because the power of Black Panther flows through. His Wakandan accent is better. It does. It does. I speak Wakandan. Yo, we don't got those gun things no more. See?

The Wakandans are about weapons bro oh yeah yo strapped real talk on taylor hey um while we're gonna get back to this in a second but i do want to announce something that's very important asshole army we got a job opportunity okay we've been a busy as fuck so we've been slacking on our social game we haven't been able to create a lot of the instagram twitter content that we were able to create in the past you know we do these really fun instagram and twitter videos based on you know lot of the Instagram, Twitter content that we were able to create in the past. We do these really fun Instagram and Twitter videos based on parts of the podcast. And because we've been so fucking busy, not only with these podcasts, we've got another project we're working on.

We're going to tell you about that in the next couple months. But we've been slacking. So we want to hire somebody or maybe a couple people to fill that role. And what we're going to do is we're going to have a fucking competition. Asshole Army, if you're nice with editing, we want a multimedia beast. So that means video editing, Photoshop, maybe even some web design, some graphics. I mean, we want a multimedia super nerd who truly understands it, falls in love with it, and takes this as far as they possibly can. Yeah, so this is what we're going to do.

We're going to take this whole episode and we're going to put it on Dropbox and we're going to put the link in the description to this YouTube video right now. If you're listening on SoundCloud or any other audio devices, go to YouTube, you'll find the episode there, take it. You could download it and we want an under one minute clip. Okay. The clip has to be under one minute. All right. And it just has to be hilarious in the same vein as our other clips, but you can put your own sauce on it Flex hard And we're going to post them

Show them to the world And then let the people decide Who the next person That's part of the Shull Studios army is So go do that Attack it And we're excited to see

What y'all got All right Now let's pay some bills All right guys We're going to take a break For a second Because we need to get Your brains on point

With this NeuroRoot Alright I know a lot of you guys Don't know what NeuroRoot is I'm about to tell you Okay You're about to be sharp as fuck Which episode did we do

When we were on NeuroRoot Last Patreon Last Patreon episode We were fully on NeuroRoot Okay They got these pills They got these drops This is from our boys

Over at Radix And this is brain support Right here Okay You got that B6 You got that caffeine And a pill Okay

This stuff is taking you to the next level. Sharp, focused, without that crash that comes with a coffee. And I'm not saying don't drink coffee. I love some coffee, but if I need to be sharp as fuck, not playing games, let's say I got to fight with my girl when I go home, I take a NeuroRoot. So I'm ready to go. Ding, ding, ding. Call it Bruce Buffer. Let's get ready to rumble dead ass i'm neuro rooted up i took that before patreon and then normally i'd be crashing at the end of the episode we wrote for an entire day i swear to you i was fine i was like i am good i did a show i went from 7 a.m to 1 a.m good money so look neuroroot.com use the promo code flagrant and you get 20 off and that's neuro root i know

some of you fucking idiots don't know how to spell that and neither do I so I'm going to look at the screen. N-E-U. You could not spell it if you took that Neuro. N-E-U. R-O. R-O-O-T.com.

Use that promo code flagrant and get your brain right. Let's get back to the show. All right, we back. Look, interesting story out. Jack Harlow, white rapper. Calm down, Akash. Calm down.

Calm down, Mark. Okay? Calm down. Now, Mark likes... Come on, bro. Mark likes Jack Harlow, white rapper. Calm down, Akash. Calm down. Calm down, Mark. Okay? Calm down. Now, Mark likes... Come on, bro. Mark likes Jack Harlow. Mark loves Jack Harlow. Mark loves Jack Harlow.

That's his boy. So Jack Harlow was in Atlanta, and some gays wanted to know what was popping for real. He was walking down the street, and they were shooting their shot, and I guess he was shocked. Maybe there's not a lot of gays in Louisville or something like that,

but it brought up a very interesting question, at least for me. Right. Which was, is homophobia wrong? No, we've had this discussion. We had a discussion about a different phobia last week. Right. So I guess to clarify the parameters, just to make sure we're good, I'm not talking about homophobia in terms of-

Hatred. Hatred in terms of the way that people assume what that word means, but phobia is fear. Literally fear. Arachnophobia. Fear of? Spiders. Spiders, right? Hydrophobia.

Fear of? Water. Wheat. What? Oh, yeah. Water. Yeah, yeah. I don't hate water. Gorophobic. Fear of, I think, leaving the house? Hydro. Oh yeah, water, yeah, yeah. I don't hate water.

Gorophobic. Fear of, I think, leaving the house? Outdoors. Outdoors, okay. So it's truly a crippling fear, right? Homophobia, I don't know if that's hateful. I do believe it's arrogant. Not in this case.

Wait for it. Okay. arrogant. Not in this case. Wait for it. Okay. Homophobia implies that the gay dudes would do something to you

that would induce fear. Simply complimenting you is not scary, but women, when guys are talking to them and coming towards them, you have every right to be scared, Taylor,

because that guy could do something crazy. He could assault you. He could even rape you. That is terrifying. He rape you that is terrifying he could overpower you he could overpower you could be male phobic you could be whatever heterophobic or whatever that is male phobic yes okay finish your points okay so my point is homophobia if there's a gaggle of gays they're standing on the corner, right? And they are whistling at you,

and then they start to approach you all together. If a guy is homophobic, right? That's, I am fearful that these gays might rape me. I don't think that is hateful, but it is arrogant to assume that they would want to fuck you and fuck you forcefully. Getting laid is one of the easiest things about being gay right i mean isn't that what happens isn't that the good thing about being gay you're in the shower at the gym and you're like yo you're not sucking dick and the guy's like yeah that's right and then yeah that's just how it goes that's how i think that's how it works i mean

aids didn't go around so fast because they don't fuck at all. This is male sex drive, right? They have glory holes, right? They have glory holes. There's just a hole where you put your dick in and then it just gets sucked. And on the other side, there's a guy who's like, thank God, a dick and no face. This is all I wanted. Right? Yo, Lopi, that shit sounds magical, son.

Son, it is. It's magical. You just put your dick in this hole and it gets sucked? Son. Can you imagine? Can we just talk about something? Fucking Narnia over there. Do you know what gay means before it meant homosexual?

Happy. Happy. Because you're getting your dick sucked all the time, probably. That means that the people that decide to call homosexuals gay, we're not going, ew, gay. They're going, man, look how gay. Look how happy that must be, just getting your dick sucked all the time in a sauna. Can you imagine a straight dude and somebody's like stick your dick in that hole. You'd be like

are you fucking mind when you cut in a hole? No, no, there's a guy's mouth on the other side. What?

Sick. Gay people just thought of like hope he doesn't have a beard. Gay people are so trusting and so they'd be

getting their dick sucked so much like yo, if I just put a hole in this bathroom stall and I put my dick in there somebody's gonna

suck it. So here's the problem with homophobia. It's too arrogant. Gay guys can get dick whenever they want. Think about it.

They can get, so straight guys, we're walking around going like, oh my God, these gay guys are going to rape me. Thinking you're going

to get raped by a gay guy who could fuck whenever he wants, right? And guys who are in great shape, these gay guys

are working out all the fucking time probably because they're going to get their dick sucked. Of course, I can go to the gym all the time. I'll just get my dick sucked in the shower and it makes perfect sense. The point is, homophobia...

Fucking protein shake. This is the real protein shake. So, here's the thing. It is arrogant but not hateful, based on the literal definition of the word. Correct. Does that make sense? Am I tracking okay? Now, the one thing I would say is, you said women are pushback or as they say fun you say women are afraid because a man could overpower them correct if you're a gay dude

you could probably overpower most straight dudes i mean these motherfuckers are blah blah if you have west hollywood these guys are beautiful and they are chiseled and they're massive i mean you sound very turned on by it. And they're tight and they're just nice. Smart. And they're successful. Let me tell you something. Just other characters.

And they're talented. And they listen to me. And they're chiseled. And they listen to me. And they cook. I mean. They're great guys. But yeah, you're making points.

If they want to have their way with you, they can. So if you're Jack Harlow, Jack Harlow built like an 80s gay. These modern day gays would easily overpower 80s gay Jack Harlow. Yeah, he's got rickets. This is before they're in the gym all the time getting their immune system up. Yeah, real talky. So maybe homophobia should be a function of height. Like if you're a little dude and cute as fuck yeah right you could be more

afraid of gay dudes potentially doing something to you that you want you have a right to be more homophobic than i do right every gay dude on this earth could probably have his way with me exactly i would let him but that's the only difference. But does that make a little sense? Like, I wonder if gay guys ever push back on the idea of homophobia where they're like,

dude, we don't even want to fuck you. Like, that's the most insulting thing. Like straight guys like, oh, these gay guys wanted me. He's like,

what are you talking about? Oh, I'm sure. Sex is the easiest thing to get. I'm sure. Why do I even care about what you're talking about? But if they're hitting on you

and then you're like, yo, chill out. And they're like, that's homophobic. What makes you think I want to fuck you? He's like,

yo, you're just, that's like a construction worker. When a girl's like, stop hitting on me, be like, I didn i want to fuck you it's like yo you're just that's like a construction worker when a girl's like stop hitting on me be like i don't want to fuck you i just want to whistle at you bitch stupid arrogant bitch that's what they want if the girl literally stopped and was like all right let's leave work so let's go fuck i think the construction workers would be like well i was just trying to entertain my friends like i got a building to build it's corona i can't get tested if I leave the facility. It's a whole issue. I don't think they've ever done that. You think

they're just going to walk off the work? I don't think women have been like, let's fuck right now. But I'm sure if they did, you would have to go. You can't be the gay dude being like, well, no, actually, maybe on my lunch break. Taylor, have you ever reacted like a construction worker whistled at you and you were like, whoa, what do you want to do?

Not necessarily that way. Talk into to do? Not necessarily that way. Talking to the microphone. Not necessarily that way. What way did it work? Like, as in like, if they were whistling or like, hey, what's up, I'll just do a weird ass face or something like that. But you've never been into it? But it's never worked, right?

Like the flirtation has never worked. You've never been like, oh, here's my number. Thank you so much for whistling at me. And they know that. I don't get why, why do guys do that? It's the same reason why like Shamu, like puts the water on the people watching.

What? It's just fun. You know what I mean? It's just entertainment. Yeah, but the people will sit. We're just making gags. People will sit in the splash zone. Women don't intentionally.

Yeah. Like. Y'all know what you're doing trying to walk around in the city. No. You're answering the splash zone. No, no, no, walk around in the city. You're entering the splash zone, yo. No, no, no, no, no. You are entering the splash zone.

You can't get splashed at the kitchen. What do you do when you go in the splash zone? Put on a poncho. That's right. Cover up. Cover it up. Head to toe. I will go out looking bummy as hell and then there'll still be guys that hit on me.

Don't they make you feel good? Don't they make you feel good? Don't that make you feel good? I kind of feel salty because you know I don't look right. Like stop. But imagine you look right. Imagine how much more you would get. Maybe they see what's beautiful

on the inside. Facts. Maybe they're catcalling you. Labia minora. Come on. Sounds like a constellation bro. That's like a little dipper. That's what the labia minora is.

No, that's the Jewish labia. I've never seen no labia minoras. I thought you said the eight candles on it. I thought you got eight candles on your labia minora. I thought you said light me a minora, and I was like, this guy really is Jewish. This is crazy. You said light me a minora. What's light me a minora?

That's Hanukkah, oh Hanukkah, light the menorah. I thought you were saying like light me a menorah. I was like, this guy really wants a menorah. I don't know what's happening right now, bro. How do you even spell that? It's all good. You never spell anything right anyway. You look at Taylor's notes,

just looks like she's pounding her fists on the fucking keyboard. She can't spell my name for shit. I know. How do you spell Arcos? No, I got it right. Boom. Yo, can we actually talk about this? It's three.

Three what? It's three. It's three what? It's three A? No, I got it right. Boom. Yo, can we actually talk about this? It's three. Three what? It's three A's. It's three A's total, not in a row. I know. Yeah, but you were spelling it A-A-A-K-S-H. Aaksh. No. Yeah, you trying to change the music?

Yo, do you remember when you were quizzing Taylor on your religion? Yeah, ask Taylor, where am I from? You know where I'm from. What country? What country am I from? music yo do you remember when you were quizzing taylor on uh yeah on your religion yeah ask it taylor where where am i from you know where i'm from what country what country am i from what religion hold on Don't leave it there. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. Ow. Ow. What's going on right now?

What country is Akash from? Look at her. Go. I can show you the truth. Here we go. Go. Okay. So, originally, I was going to say India.

That's right. No, no, no. But technically, are you American citizen? So, technically, it's America. Ain't no trick question. How am I brown is what I want to know. Taylor killed that. Yeah, you got's right. No, no, no. But technically, are you American citizen? So technically it's American. Ain't no trick question. How am I brown is what I want to know. Taylor killed that. Yeah, you got that right. Okay. I thought you were going to say something racist. That would be lame. Mexico.

Mexico. I wanted you to say that so bad. Oh, that would have been awesome. She was talking to F.A. and then F.A. was like, you think I'm white, don't you? And she was like, you're not? I think I kind of look white. Yeah, I think I pass. But then I was like, what country? Do you know what country I'm from? She's like, you think I'm white, don't you? And she was like, you're not? I think I kind of look white. Yeah, I think I pass. But then I was like, what country?

Do you know what country I'm from? She's like, nah. What religion am I? I mean, that's a tricky one, though. Yeah. Only ones I don't even know. That's even a real religion. What?

None of them are real if you're a Christian. Yo, you're killing it, Taylor. Oh, yay. Yo, have more confidence in yourself, bro. This is like Slumdog Millionaire. I honestly do not yourself, bro. It's like Slumdog Millionaire. I honestly do not like giving quits. It's like Slumdog Millionaire.

It's awesome. It's like Snoop Dogg Millionaire. It's like goddamn Hindu. I tell you what, Kurt. I love Slumdog Millionaire. That's a good movie. I watch it like once a month. Yo, is that Indian people?

Wait, how many other religions do y'all have? It don't matter. Oh, man. Mad. It don't matter. It's too many. But what was your question? Indian's like the main one though, right?

No, Slumdog Millionaire, is that like Indian people's Black Panther? Is that your Black Panther? Nah. That's not a Black Panther. Do y'all watch it like that though? That movie a little divisive within the Indian community. Was it really?

Some people feel like it only shows the bad parts of India. I don't feel that way. I heard that they didn't even treat the actors right afterwards. It's like Indian matchmaker? I didn't know that. I don't know what that is. Wait, wait, hold on.

Is there anything that's unanimously loved by India? Because matchmaker's divisive. Slumdog millionaire's divisive. What's unanimously loved by anybody except Black Panther? Black Panther. Black Panther is the only unanimously

loved thing I can think of. Black Panther. I don't know if it's unanimous. Forrest Whitaker kind of like he should be like I ain't like. Yeah, mad skeptical. I know, right? He's like. Very suspicious. Slumdog is where I learned India makes hot chicks. I ain't know that before that. I'm still waiting.

Come on, bro. Nah, you gotta admit the lead she was a baddie. Frida Pinto. Priyanka Chopra Come on, bro. Nah, you gotta admit the lead, she was a baddie. Frida Pinto. Priyanka Chopra? No, Frida Pinto. She was a baddie.

She didn't have a job though, she said. Yeah. Wait, why not? Because she got smoked out. What? I heard she got ran through after that movie.

Oh, everything. What? Yeah, producers and shit. She dated the fucking main character, Dev Patel, for like years. Oh, I heard the, for like years.

Oh, I heard the producers smoked her out, son. Al's a wild one, bro. I heard the producers smoked her out. Everybody was smoking her out? Yeah. Really, dog? That's what the world of street is. Bro.

Yo. Yo. Are you cool with them talking about your queen like that, dog? Son, don't talk about Frida like that, yo. She's a baddie. I was giving it up. Yeah, respect. You know what I mean? Yeah. Anyway, what were we talking about your queen like that, dog? Son, don't talk about Frida like that, yo. Because she's a baddie. I was giving it up. Yeah, respect. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Anyway, what were we talking about? I'm going to take a tip. Black Panther? Black Panther. No, how did we even get here? I don't know. We're lost. Oh, we're asking Taylor

questions about me. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's a two for two, though. Nah, she got it. She was just worried about the person. But she also said, I don't know if it's a real religion

before she said Hindu. It's not. Yeah. It's not. I. It's not. I went to their church. They just walk around in circles like some fucking NASCAR Saturdays. What's Catholics doing? They getting down, sitting down, getting up.

Sitting down, getting up. Same shit. We'd just be walking. We'd be ambulatory. That shit was like an exercise. I got to go see Nancy Pelosi at a Catholic mass. This woman would look lost. Dog, even at your wedding, bro.

That was a lot of up down yeah that's like burpees for jesus it's jesus that's why he's ripped yeah exactly bro that's how jesus got that core strength indians are more lean like they're like walkers yeah we will be walking you do be walking remember when we went to singapore yeah we walked around was that real that was a real temple yeah i, put on some roller skates or something. Yeah, make that shit roll down. Yeah, you could literally have it. Put some music.

Have a little Beyonce playing. Yeah. Should it be Litty. But correct me if I'm wrong. We just walked around in circles, right? Yeah, yeah. That temple, we just walked around. How else are they going to stay awake?

His shit, I was almost falling asleep. Really? Yeah. Come on, bro. When they read. What part you were going to fall asleep? When Father Ben got caught up? His shit, I was almost falling asleep. Really? Yeah. Come on, bro. When they read. What part you were going to fall asleep? When Father Ben got caught up?

You got to get Father Ben back on the pod so we can talk about his metaphor. Father Ben gave y'all a trash metaphor. We were waiting for this shit to start tracking. Father Ben is a dope ass dude, bro. I spoke about him on the pod, right? And remember, what was it exactly? He was like, he was like,

he was like, he was talking about like their union. You and your girl's union or your wife's union. Glass and sand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, he was like,

he's like, he goes, he goes, but you have to forge that union. Right now you're sand, but when you come together with that strength, it's like fire.

And what does fire turn sand to? Glass. And everybody here was like, that shit kind of break easy. And then he caught it. He's like, but it's,

of course, it's stronger than glass. Stronger than glass. Like a molten lava. Like lava rock. Technically, it's lava rock. So you guys are a lava rock.

Yeah, yeah. Man, it was like when you fuck up a punchline. Yeah. You know, you'd be scrambling to think of the next funny shit. He just went for lava. He was like, hell, fire. Lava rock. Man, it was like when you fuck up a punchline. You know, you'd be scrambling to think of the next funny shit.

He just went for lava. He was like, hell, fire. Lava, lava. This man improvised your vows like that? Yeah. He was trying to write on stage like that on your vows? He was right. I'm a huge freestyler.

I kind of like that. Let Jesus take the weight. It's just a slow version of like ho-tepping. Yeah, exactly. Yo. Yo, son. Yeah. It really is.

Yeah. They like say one line From the bible They just like Connect that Different shit And then run right back to it I look back

He honky-tacked you Yo I look back I look back Cause Al's sitting Way back in the church He came an hour late He's sitting way back

In the church Nah it's the black people section I found him I found him I look back After he said that shit And Al's just going like this It's just him

And his girl And Al just come like this. It's just him and his girl and Al just like... I can't even get lost in a wedding. Can't even get lost in it for two minutes. You want me to look for Al? You don't expect that from me. That's true. I got no soul.

I sat real close up front so shit could penetrate. I knew I'd be in bad behavior if I was in the back. Son, you Black Panthered it. I sat real close up front so shit could penetrate. It didn't happen. I knew I'd be in bad behavior if I was in the back. Son, you Black Panthered it. I'm Black Panthered. You absorbed his lesson

and threw it back on him stronger. I threw it right on Al. Al back in the face. Screw face like. Y'all lucky I didn't get a ha ha to be in the back. That almost happened. I was mad close.

That almost happened. When he said, the sand turns to glass. What did you think when he was breaking that down? I was like, yeah, lava rocks.

All right. I was cool with it. You know, I was, I was getting married at the time, so I was kind of stressed. So I was like, whatever.

You were the most calm person getting married. Be honest. Yeah, it was cool. I was like, I don't know, getting married is kind of,

yeah, it was cool. It was dope. Yeah, it was cool. I was, I was calm. But yeah,

I don't know. You were so happy you didn't even notice the metaphor. Yeah, I bailed out a little bit because when you have to do the homily, you just get readings from the Bible. What's a homily? That's where he freestyles. That's the gay guys at the gym.

That's where he's freestyling. So when he's on stage and he's like, or when he's on the altar and he's like. You can't write the homily beforehand? No, you can, but like you have to do it based off what the readings are. And you guys choose the readings. Yeah. So for your wedding, you get to pick. Did he ask you what your reading was going to be?

Yeah. So we gave him like three different readings you had to read. And when did you give it to him? Like two days before. Okay. So he had quite a bit of time. I mean, he's also, you know, the father for thousands of people. He got to talk to them too.

Yeah. He doing a wedding. Nah, he pulled up like Trump to that wedding. He did. He was freestyling. You guys have a great union. It's fantastic. This wedding, great. Just the greatest.

It's a tremendous union. It's really the best. What about a Hindu wedding? Does anyone even speak? Do they have to speak at all? You wouldn't know. Yeah, I want to know. I wouldn't know either. Yeah, we all would know. Fucking piece of shit is locked into that, dude. Yo, what an asshole, bro. Exactly.

Dude, what do you guys have? Does it a lamp? How does it? I know, I want to say something. Y'all be having the buzz cut sheep over there? A lamp? We got the high top fade sheep. No, no, for real.

How does it work? You walk in and are there like pinsan? No, everybody gets it. Every religion gets it over your flagrant. You got it. You got it. But do you guys have a master of ceremonies? What is it called?

Punjabi MC? We have a priest. Stop. Stop. Stop. There's nothing Al finds funnier than Indian jokes, bro.

Nothing Al Any Indian joke. Al is done I'm sorry I'm old school New York I'm sorry Al just wants me To give him a hero

And get the fuck Out of here He had enough Yo it's taking too long Yo No we don't have A lot of freestyling like that But is there anybody

Do you guys have anybody Who do you get The wishes from Like My last wish Was to get married So I don't know After that

I used them all up And I promised him A third wish For me to set him free No in all seriousness Who is the master Is it Robin Williams Or Shaq

Or is it Will Smith He's not Shaq. Will Smith. He's not Shaq. I'm holding him in now. I'm holding him in. He's trying to not let it go because you got in his head, bro. Why you got in his head?

It's not Shaq. It's Kazam, okay? Fucking ignoramus, dude. You can't handle the stupidity I'm around. Come on, bro. You're right, dog. Come on. Come on. Get it right. For real, bro. You're right, dog. Come on. Come on. Get it right.

For real, though. For real. Yeah. What happens? We don't do as much freestyling. A little bit here and there. But who runs the show, dude? The Magic Carpet.

What? Is that just me or Frazer's Taylor? Come on. You just waited. That makes me want to watch Aladdin now. The Magic Carpet doesn't run the show. It doesn't perform the wedding. That's just how they go. No, doesn't run the ceremony. It doesn't perform the wedding. That's just how they go.

No, he gets online magic carpet. They're flapping corners and we just understand what he's saying. In all seriousness, is there somebody who is the master of the ceremony? There's a Hindu priest, yeah.

It's called a priest? Pundit, yeah. P-U-N-D-I-T. Pundit? Yeah. Okay. Did you burp? No, I was going to say something. So a pundit, right, runs it.-d-i-t pundit yeah okay did you burp so a pundit yeah right runs it yeah and he

has to be hindu yeah you can't do the shit like where like um people get married now black people don't do that either i don't think right do they wait what black people don't do that either do they have your homie get certified online and then do the yeah they't do that either, I don't think, right? Wait, what? Black people don't do that either, do they? Have your homie get certified online and then do the... Yeah, yeah. They would. They don't do that? Yeah. It's almost like the gender reveals.

White people started it and then we kind of make it fly. Y'all took that shit to another level. Yeah, wait a minute. Gender reveals, bro? Yes, we did. You ain't burning down no San Francisco off that shit. I mean... That's probably the most religious dude setting San Francisco on fire.

Wait, what happened? He probably the most Christian guy. San Francisco was fire Wait what happened He probably the most Christian guy San Francisco was on fire Yeah I didn't know about this I thought it was Armenia I don't know enough About what's going on over there

Neither do I But apparently there's a genocide You got that email too I've been getting mad DMs From Armenians And I gotta say this The Kardashians Aren't the only fine ones

There's some fine ass Armenian girls out there that let me know about this genocide we gotta keep them alive yo i've got one tweet this is how much you know i have no idea what the no shits about the kardashians he has one tweet about pray for armenia mixed in with and we need to get our masters back. Your wife is Armenian, bro. Your kids are Armenian. Man, they white. There's a beef. I don't know enough about it, but there's a beef between Turkey, Azerbaijan, and Armenia.

And it looks like it's escalating into some sort of war. And obviously, you know, there's been horrible atrocities committed against the Armenian people that are not to this day acknowledged and um they're probably very concerned that this could happen again if it was explaining to me that the Armenian genocide I was like give me Turkey side he's like it was wrong but we did it was wrong I was like all right fair enough yeah a little tricky a little tricky I didn't mean to ruin the mood yeah but um yeah i know i'm sorry

so back to what you were saying about your stupid thing well listen i had a lot of fun wish you could have been there no you don't wish do they play do they play music at the i use one of my three wishes to all three of you yeah that's fucked up you were one wish each do they play music now ours is just a just a so no. But the reception's gonna have all the music. That's smart, though. Are we gonna be there at the reception? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Do you not play music because you don't want the snakes to come out? Is that it? The snakes are over here. What if all guys' dick unzips his own pants and just starts coming out? That would be so ill. That was in Lovecraft Country.

That was in what? This show. This show that you watch? Not everything gotta go back to black shit, Taylor. Not everything gotta go back to black shit or we listen to rugs. Why does Taylor think this podcast is a Migos song, bro? She's like, every few minutes, she's like,

Lovecraft, Lovecraft. What are these ad-libs, yo? Period Taylor's wild. Like, the first hour Period Taylor's in and at the end you just go off the radar. Oh my gosh. I know. Oh my gosh is right. Speaking of snakes, can we talk about tigers?

Yo. Oh. Alright, so tigers started in the only fans. This is kind of lit. Okay, okay. That's a transition. Okay. That's a transition.

That's a Bruce Jenner to fucking Caitlyn right there. That's a beautiful transition. Goddamn Segway champion. Two wheels. Real talk. Yo, Segway got bodied so bad. Son, that was the dumbest fucking invention that ever happened. The motherfucker flew off the cliff on the Segway and then it stopped.

Oh, is that his? Yeah. Why did he jump off his own device? Because he was so embarrassed by a stupid ass invention. I hate that. Like when the Atkins guy got a heart attack.

Yeah, that's rough. That's rough. Remember when the Atkins guy was like, yo, you can eat hamburgers every day and you don't gain any weight and then died of a heart attack.

And now we just do the same shit as keto, right? It is. It's the same shit basically. Yeah. Can't do the cheese on the burger, that's it. Yeah, you can.

On keto? I don't know anything I don't know anything I don't know anything I don't know anything That should be the subtitle Of every podcast Flagrant 2

Instead of No Easy Buckets I don't know anything I don't know anything I said rhinosaur earlier today So It is what it is Okay Go on

What were you saying? Son I forgot I'm gay We were talking Taylor brought up Tiger's dick. Oh, yeah. So, Tiger got a mallet. Yeah. Have you seen this thing?

Yeah, I saw that shit. Bro, the thing that bothers me about it is he's holding it in the, I got a little dick position. He's trying to like make the most of his dick. That you could just grab. Don't they? I really think it's the angle. Wait, that's not the one I saw.

That's not. That's gonna look small. Yeah. That one kind of look little. I was gonna let Taylor say it, but yeah. No, what? I don't think it looks. I saw a different one, dude.

I think it's average at best. You saw this one. I saw a different one? Yeah. What are you talking about, guys? No, that one's totally little. What are you talking about? No, that shit is huge to me.

Yeah, let me see. Let me see. Oh, this is not the dick? It is, but I think go with this angle because this one looks crazy. I love how comfortable y'all are with watching. And you're looking at the dick like. No, no, that motherfucker got it.

Go. Go with that angle and put that one up and then make it take the whole screen. Go full screen. Taylor, can you send me the picture that's on your phone? Yeah. But if he's pretending to have a huge dick and he don't, ain't that exactly typical? Like, that's Tiger right there in one picture.

I'm going to pretend I got a huge dick and I don't. That's Tiger's entire life. I said I see your- Yes, there is some like faking, but from what I see, that motherfucking dick right there. It's the angle, sir. No, that motherfucking dick right there. Wow. the angles sir. Nah that motherfucking dick right there. Wow. Who's bigger safaris or tigers? I don't know. I gotta

see them next to each other. Wait. It's like the food in the supermarket right? They put a little moisture on it and it looks bigger. Yo is that why they do that? Yeah they got the perfect lighting. Tiger just want animals. Safari is the whole jungle get out of here safari got two e's that shit is so big amazing but wait a minute that's a good point dick about the supermarket we should be taking our dick pics next to the fruits do you know what i mean because they look so much more delicious with the perfect lighting and the

moisture oh yeah you ever get catfished by the fruit? Oh, absolutely. You take it back to your house. Yeah, I go, what is this shitty fruit that I bought? It's the lighting. It was so nice at the store when they sprayed little spritz on it. That's what we need to do. Now, that's the dick right there.

He has a nice head. Yo. Come on, Taylor. This is a claw girl, yo. You can't comment on this. Yeah, stop objectifying us like that. Y'all can't comment on that. But yeah, y'all looking at a dick. Yeah, but we Cloud girl, yo. We can't comment on that. Yeah, stop objectifying us like that. Y'all can't comment on that, but yeah, y'all looking at a dick.

Yeah, but we looking at it different. We looking at a dick. I'm trying to decide how big this part of his thumb is so I can add him up to figure out the whole length. Yeah. Because he's just got the bottom of his thumb at the base. I really think it's the angle. Really?

Yeah. Have you been fooled by a dick pic before? By clever lighting on a dick pic before? By clever lighting On a dick pic Clever angles Not Like sent to me Alright take that shit

Yeah I know Yeah see if you can Send me that on my phone He took down Kylie with that shit Yeah It's not that big Ray J took down

Kim with that shit This microphone Is bigger than Tyga's No No Look at this thickness. Look at the thickness of this mic. Thickness, maybe, but we're talking about length, distance.

This is the same. No. What are you, Taylor? How tall are you? You can't take that. Yes, I can. Nah, chill out. Come on, Tyga.

You're going to get hurt. You're going to get hurt. That's going to be in your lungs. This is a nice, I prefer them this size. No way. What? You take a dick that big, you're going to have Forest Whitaker's eyes. That shit's going to hit you right in your socket. Whitaker's eyes That shit gonna hit you Right in your socket

Real talk It's gonna hit you Right in your socket You need to be careful This is actually A little nice size Uh uh No

Stop stroking it like that That's borderline That's wild Brutality yo She's just touching The top of it Chill out Black Lives Matter

Yours included Stop putting them Big old fucking dicks in you That's crazy That's really crazy Taylor you're making me feel uncomfortable next topic oh my god

what else we got yo Weinstein's still catching bodies yeah yo Weinstein more women have come out to say that he assaulted them or raped them

or whatever like that hey you late bitch yo hey you late bitch what's going on with this cake been there done that bitch give us a new guy yo but what is the

what is the thinking with this do you think are you gonna add more years to his life sentence that he gonna get but why come out now uh i mean he's in jail now right well he's gonna go to trial but why why do you think come out now maybe it's cathartic in some way is it possible to do a little bit oh so they're like i need to get in on that chatter maybe and if you saw weinstein's dick you're entitled to money and again i'm not saying these. I'm just violating. Do we have a picture of his dick? No.

I don't think we want to see it, to be honest. It looks like he's born with herpes almost. There's some wild shit about his dick. I forget what it was, but there was some wild shit about his dick. No, it was Epstein's. It looked like an egg. The old egg dick. No, there's some wild shit about Weinstein's too.

I don't remember what it was, but yeah, it's like. These motherfuckers are wild dicks or some rapists, bro. And that kind of makes sense. Because don't remember what it was, but yeah, it's like these motherfuckers wild dicks are some rapists, bro. And that kind of makes sense. Nobody would want to consensually fuck me because I have

this disgusting dick. But is that how dick works? Keep going. Keep going. I'm listening, Mark. Mark, I'm listening. Keep going.

Not even weird to me. Is like if you have a dick that's weird and you're hooking up with a girl and she comes back consensually, everyone's happy. You take your dick out and it looks weird.

She's just going to leave? Yeah, I would assume so. I mean, if you, let's just say. I think that's how dick works. Hypothetically speaking, let's just say you go down on a girl, right? And pussy looks crazy. Like what? on a girl right and pussy looks crazy like what like she stands up and it kind of unfolds like a beach chair okay okay what would you do like a sleeping bag that unwraps unwraps completely what if it pops open like an umbrella inside whoa like a like a velociraptor that's yelling at you

like a velociraptor that's yelling at you like a velociraptor that's yelling at you what newman i don't know like out of respect i'd be like i will we'll just get it done yeah i would say i have like a like a tonsil issue and i can't go down son even if you pulled out he got caught in the fucking webs and then slid back into her vagina i mean but you can still beat it up though like he got a little forest whitaker yeah you could still mean, but you can still beat it up though. Like he got a little Forrest Whitaker. Yeah, you could still beat it up. You could still beat it up.

Absolutely. You still, and I would a hundred percent. That's what I'm saying. If I'm at that point, I'm going to cross the finish line. I just, I truly don't think I would

have the courage to be like, nah, I'm going to have to leave. Like what? Cause you would be so concerned that it would make that person feel horrible, right?

Like they're at your place. You have to like kick them out. You'd be like, sorry, you just have to go home now. What if, who would do that? feel horrible, right? Destroy their confidence. They're at your place. You have to kick them out. You'd be like, sorry, you just have to go home now. Who would do that? What if they showed you their pussy? What if they showed you their pussy? Who would do that? What?

You wouldn't? Yeah. Have you ever done that? Yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Explain what's going on here. You sucked a deformed penis. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

A girl showed you her vagina. So not look, but it smelled a little funky. And I was like, nah. That's different. That's a deformity? No, we didn't say. We didn't say Mark is deformed all the time. We didn't say once his dick smells.

We said it looked weird. Yes. Purely off the physicality. You would reject a woman? No, that's harsh. No, you wouldn't. You probably turn around from the back and hit it. Nah, there was one time

I was with a chick and her vagina kind of felt like an asshole. It was weird because it was just tight right at the beginning and then opened up in the middle. It was weird and yeah, I stopped fucking and that's it. I was in that same situation, but I did not

stop fucking at all. I stopped. Nah, it was too weird. It was like tight and that's it. Yeah, I was in that same situation, but I did not stop fucking at all. I stopped. Nah, it was too weird. Wait, wait, wait. It was like tight and then just nothing. Taylor, hold on. It was tight at the brim. Yeah, so how'd you finish? Yeah, it's like a quarter water.

You never fucked a quarter water? No, I haven't. All right, dude, whatever. All right. Respect. You're putting on airs over here. I know. You put on airs.

I do have airs. You put on airs. I can't believe you never lubed up a quarter water. Nah, man. I didn't. Okay. Come on, Al. I thought you were my cinnamon apple, dude.

What's a quarter water? Oh, he's too young for quarter water. You don't know about quarter water. That's a New York thing. You don't know about 25 cent gum? Huh? You never got a 25 cent pack of gum either, do you? Oh, you said gum.

Gum. I thought you said that's what you do in the quarter you know 50 cent sodas no i know i know bro i can use context to put together money i'm asking if you remember because we've become like what could it be how much was that how much is arizona oh a dollar no no saved it was right. No, it was actually a dollar. So you're wrong. It was 99 cent, fam. Oh, yeah, but.

99 cent. What is tax? 99 cent for two gallons of iced tea. What is tax? You could get two gallons of. What is tax? That's 125. Come on, dog.

Tax is 20 bucks. Yeah, I know. What do you live in, Norway? Got a tax you pay. Yeah. It's got a 99 cent. 107. That's a 25%? Yeah, I know. What do you live in, Norway? It's got a 99 cent. Yo,

you ever go to a bodega where they charge more for the Arizona? I'll walk out. But no, no. It's on the label. Oh, yeah. Bro, my bodega guys is lying about stuff.

Dude, it's hilarious. I remember I went to a bodega once. I got the Arizona. I put it on the table. It was like $1.25. I go, it says 99 cent on the can.

It's got the MSRP on there I think they just tried out with white people because that's never what's happening to me. 100% that's the thing it's tough being white bro. Yeah. They profile you. You get taxed. You get taxed for your whiteness You can't sit at the boil it's awful Yeah it's fucked up. We're struggling. I want to go

back to this other this whole football pussy thing because Also what's up with his deformed penis? Oh, it's like scarring. It's like, it looks like it was burnt. Like, he's black? Damn, bro.

He got that Michael Jackson Pepsi ad penis? Yeah, probably like the Michael Jackson situation. Oh, okay. Damn, bro. Anywho. Yeah.

All right, Taylor, what was your question? And then we're gonna move on. What is a football pussy? It's just tighter at the brim and then it kind of opens up in the middle like a football. So there's no walls in the middle? There are walls.

You just got to go poke for them side to side. Yeah. That's how I got off. I just went for a wall. Rubbed my dick up against the wall. You're like playing pong. You know what it was like? Honestly, because I didn't use the other wall.

It was like Andy Dufresne escaping from Shawshank. And I was just carving away at that one wall. Wood chipping. Wood chipping. I was wood chipping. I didn't even touch the left wall. Well, maybe that's what happened. Maybe that's why her vagina's like that. Yeah, dude.

I think Ty goes in there. Maybe Safari. Maybe both. Yeah, they just opened that thing up. Yeah, exactly. These poor Kardashians. It's like Berlin, dude. These big old black dicks destroying them.

Yeah, we gotta acknowledge that. We might have to. What's going on? Hold on. It's okay. Taylor, collect yourself acknowledge that. We might have to. What? What's going on? Hold on. It's okay. Tell us. Collect yourself.

We're gonna move on. Okay? We're gonna move on. You think about football pussies. We're gonna move on. All right, guys. We're gonna take a break. We gotta win some money.

Simple as that. I know we're gambling. Okay? I know you saw what Jimmy Butler did. I know a lot of motherfuckers made some money off a stupid bet off Jimmy. I know that. And if you got more bets, what you're going to do

is you're going to make them at mybookie.ag. That's right. It's.ag. mybookie.ag. Okay? This is what you're going to do. You're going to sign up. You're going to put some money in and they're going to match it. That's free money. That's a lot of free that we're giving you on this show. That's a lot of value. mybookie.ag. You sign up. They will match

that amount. You gamble with all that. And they're going to give you a $10 NBA future bet. Shit. All that. All you got to do is go to mybookie.ag and use our promo code flagrant. That's all you got to do to get all that free shit. Stop listening to what I'm doing. Matter of fact, finish the episode. But after the episode,

you go to mybookie.ag. Okay? Use that promo code flagrant. Get that free money and win you some. Alright, we're going to take a break for a second, man. Keep these dicks hard. Yes, sir. Fast forward. We haven't said fast forward a minute, matter of fact. We're going to bring it back fast forward. Look,

you already know what time it is if you listen to this podcast. Blue Chew. Simple as that. You want the hardest dick? You want to service your girl the way that you should? Matter of fact, the way that she deserves. The way that she deserves. If you keep listening to this podcast this podcast you're gonna hear dick size expectations like you've never heard by taylor okay and it's gonna make you want to get that blue chew immediately because al said it made his dick grow a quarter inch it did a quarter an inch a whole quarter an inch or as

taylor would say absolutely zero difference when it comes to size that's like or as i would say icing off the muffin or as i would would say, a huge difference. Yeah, double the difference. Double the difference is big, okay? Point is, Blue Chew, same act of ingredient that's in Cialis Viagra. I'm telling you,

this is the guaranteed night of your girl's life. You're going to deliver that. Ladies, if you're listening right now, you deserve it. You deserve it. Isn't there a song? You deserve it.

No? I know you were, Dad. I don't know what you're doing. Okay, maybe the weekend. Oh, yes, yes. Right? Isn't that some shit? Which is when you need Blue Chew.

The weekend. Hey! Mark saved that, yo. Mark saved that. Thanks, homie. Point is, y'all can save your relationship. Blow your girl's back out. Then she can't leave.

What? She'll leave Monday. Point is is you get that blue chew you handle your business okay bluechew.com use the promo code flagrant all right you're gonna get it for free all you gotta do is pay five dollars shipping bluechew.com promo code flagrant hardest dicks in the world free with five dollars shipping that's a no-brainer let's get back to the show i want to talk about snl a little bit because have you have you guys noticed a lot of comics shitting all over snl on twitter yeah uh this has been going on for a while yeah uh i admittedly do not watch snl i honestly forget it's on it could be saturday night and you'll say what's on tv and i'll be like son i don't know yeah especially with playoffs there's like fights

going on there's a lot of other shit going on to be fair chris rock was on this week it's a good show to watch with your family i was with the family it's like hey what do we watch it's like fights going on. There's a lot of other shit going on. To be fair, Chris Rock was on this week. And it's a good show to watch with your family. Interesting. I was with the family. It's like, hey, what do we watch? It's like, that's an easy go-to. You got parents that understand the references. I do not. Ah, okay.

Which is so weird. But that is interesting. You can watch with the whole family. You don't have to worry about it being too offensive. That's crazy though, because when we were kids, it was on at midnight or whatever, specifically because they said crazy shit. So you're saying it changed?

Yeah. Okay. So basically what happened is I'm seeing a lot of activity on Twitter of comics just shitting on SNL. And this has been like the last, I would say a few years. Yeah. But it's getting more and more popular. And I'm concerned SNL is going through like a Dane Cook phase where it's becoming cool to dislike.

Like Dane Cook was the biggest thing in the entire world. Yeah. It did Madison Square Garden. And then he kind of like jumped the shark, if you will. You remember that? Yeah. He got too big. He got like too big or something like that.

And Louie accused him of stealing a joke. And isn't it funny that Louie made an accusation that doesn't really seem true and ruined somebody's career and now is doing an entire special about how fucked up it is

that people can just make accusations and everybody believes it and they elevate their profile as accusers and the accused can't defend himself at all. Oh my God.

I just put that together at this moment, but that shit make a lot of sense. That's pretty good. I was really good that you did that. Son, I'll be doing it sometimes.

You sound like Father Ben right there, bro. Damn, bro. Listen up, Father Ben. That's how it's done. Son, house of glass, Louis C.K. I mean, don't throw stones.

Whoa. Or jerk off on the windows. Ooh. That's Louis. So much harder to jerk off in your house with glass, though? Yeah.

Everybody just looking at you? Nah, he want that glass house, though. Louie probably built his house of all windows. Floor to ceiling. Yo, free Louie C.K., man. What do you mean? I don't know. Just free him.

His album's free now? Is that what you're saying? Just giving that shit away? Free Louie, man. He gave me a compliment once. Yo, I didn't see him laughing at your jokes. I got complimented post-allegation. Pre-allegation, Louie ain't touching you, son.

Yeah, he might not touch me. Post, he got to be humbled a little bit. Post, he's going to force you to listen to his compliments. And you're going to get these compliments. It's all I can force you to do now. The door of the green room locks hey man can i just tell you about how funny that joke was the one that you just felt so good to listen to poor louis not free louis man um but i didn't like the way he

did the dane shit i didn't like the way he handled that fair enough i didn't like dane from jump before he was i was just like i just don't get it yeah maybe i wasn't white so i was like i just don't get what the big fucking deal is right do you even remember the joke i don't remember the joke no i don't isn't that funny we remember the allegation we don't remember the joke yeah that's what's tough but i mean if you watch carlos mencia and the joke he was blatant thief blatant blatant even beyond the fence building joke that i think wasn't that's a very easy joke. A lot of people will come up with that joke. And a lot of other comedians have done it.

But Blayton Thief, I will say this about Dane. I mean, as far as I was concerned, he put out a lot of comedy. Yeah. And I didn't hear that, any allegations besides Louie.

No. Right? I think there was very minimal. I think Dane was a weird guy, probably unlikable. Yeah, but I don't know if he was stealing. Yeah. You know?

And the jokes weren't, and this is not to like knock Dane, but like the jokes weren't so like sophisticated that like you would have to steal. He didn't need to steal because he doesn't rely on his material. Exactly. He was so charming. He was such a performer that he could go deliver. Anyway. Okay.

So I want to talk about SNL. Yeah. So SNL comes out. uh is shitting on this week's episode of snl and all these comics are shitting on this week's episode of snl and they're really they're coming hard on snl i mean they're saying like the writing is trash and like we have friends that all work at snl that i know for a fact are hilarious i think sam jay is legit maybe female but she's so funny so funny michael chay hilarious chris red hilarious colin jose hilarious pete davidson when he was doing stand-up i'm not

sure he's doing any more but he was very he's a star dog very very funny we're just talking about standing yeah we're not talking about how much you like him i know you love it yeah okay put up that he got a tiger picture of pete davis so um the question is always how do you have such funny people and then create a show that for whatever reason people seem to see to say it's not that funny i don't watch it again but al you saw this week yeah and i thought it was completely trash really i didn't laugh at all all the sketches bad all the sketches are. I was really disappointed in Chris Rock. Chris Rock bombed. Yeah, because that's why I watch it.

So Chris Rock, he did his opening monologue. He tried for a joke or two in the beginning, and then the rest was just like. Thoughtful shit? Yeah, thoughtful shit about the state of the country. It wasn't even provoking. At least when Chappelle did it, it was like. Chris Rock had no idea. But you don't have to compare them.

That's the tricky thing. And I understand what you're doing, but like, Chris Rock had no idea. But you don't have to compare them. That's a tricky thing. And I understand what you're doing, but like, and we're going to do it naturally. Like we're always going to compare LeBron to Jordan because there's no one else to compare him to. And I think that is like the trouble of being Chris Rock in an era of Chappelle is no matter what you do,

you only get compared to the goat. Yeah. But I mean, if you try to open up Saturday night live without standup, like only other person I knew who did that was Chappelle. And even then, I'm just like, what are we doing here? Like, I understand you're trying to make a statement, but, like, this is Saturday Night Live.

It is a comedy show. Do the comedy. Like, no one is better in the world at doing comedy on serious topics than Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle, for that matter. Like, that's their gift. They could take the most serious, harsh concept and then find some little gem of funny in it and i guess you're saying it's a disappointment that you didn't get to see and chappelle will also reward you where

he builds up the tension for so long and then something hits and then it just gets you because you're right you got the tension building up for so long makes sense that makes rock isn't stylistically like that he's gonna be more traditional set up yeah and then and even with the skits i was expecting him to you know since he started on snl yeah i thought he would just find that funny again and like it was the whole time it looked like he was just reading off the uh you know teleprompter and he's never seen those words before yeah yeah i get it's a bummer to me man because and this is why i love the fact that like we have the ability to put our own stand-up out like i love this sam put her special out. It's on Netflix. I think it's called 3am or something like that.

Yeah. And you go check it out. But it's like Che, you can see his standup. He is fucking funny, dog. He's great. Chris Redd,

I'm sure he has stuff out. But like the beauty of you putting your standup out is you get to show how funny you are when it's all on you. Yeah. Right? Before you putting your own standup out, clips, whatever it is, your own stand-up out clips whatever it is your own special doesn't matter you were as funny as the show you worked for you see what i'm saying

so if you worked on snl and that's the only time they could see you in sketches people are like oh yeah i guess he's kind of funny i mean i see his sketches or i see weekend update and i guess he's okay but then when you see chase stand-up, you're like, oh, this is a hilarious dude. And then NBC creates a filter that doesn't allow certain jokes in. And those jokes may be the ones that we find funniest. And I'm wondering when SNL is going to, or NBC, whatever it is, is going to learn that the attitude towards comedy has changed. And they're going to need to change the restrictions that they have to meet that attitude because it seems like i mean i i have yet to see someone who's like yo man snl was fucking hysterical i loved it it was the most amazing thing ever and when you're not getting any of that there's a problem especially when you have people that we all

know are talented it'd be one thing if there was no talented writers creating shitty comedy that you expect but when you have talented writers that when left to their own devices have really successful shit yep and when they're all together and they're on this one platform and everybody's like yo this is doo-doo that's the platform bro yeah and maybe it's up to lauren you know what it's like maybe lauren is maybe lauren lost it bro you know what it's like maybe he got too old man maybe lauren michaels who's guy who runs SNL, maybe it's time to pass it off. Oh, yeah. I think for a decade plus it's been like that.

I don't know. Again, I don't watch it. I'm just saying based on the material that, based on the reaction to the material, he might still think that that is what is right. And we always trust our own taste, especially when you're a tastemaker like him that made all these stars. You're like, like no i know what's funny but sometimes you could get a little old game passes everybody by the game is passing chris rock by i was about to say i want to get back to that but like what did we say about phil jackson oh yeah phil jackson was

the man the guy could take superstar egos and get them to buy into a system. Had a, had literally an offense that was system only. And it was about having no ego and sacrificing and playing as a team. And he was able to not only see talent, but get the most out of that talent. And the game passed him by. Yeah. And I wonder if Lorne. Lorne is Phil.

You're the goat. Yo, the goat. You just old now. But maybe You still trying to put up The triangle bro You still trying to run Triangle offense

And everybody else is like Yo we don't do that anymore We got centers to shoot threes Lorne Michaels is your mom's age It probably He probably just learned How to double click Yo

Last week Let these motherfuckers shoot No He don't get Let these motherfuckers shoot Yeah Yeah I was gonna bring up Two points

Oh yeah Sorry What were you going to say? No, it's just weird for me to listen to because SNL was never a part of my generation. Yeah. For us, it was a fucking thing. It's weird to hear people be like, yo, SNL fell off because to me, it's like I never, I had friends that watched SNL.

I never watched SNL. Yeah. It was never a part of like my dynamic. I'll be honest with you. I didn't have that relationship either with it. Like my dad worked at NBCc not in comedy and news so like he came up he would see these people in like whatever rockefeller whatever it is 40 rock or 30 rock but uh 30 30 old ass rock oh shit trash yo damn 3000 rockefeller so uh but point is is like i didn't really grow up watching it either

culturally uh so i never like um i don't know kind of like i don't have this uh emotional reaction that some people have to it but i did you did yeah so you've witnessed before i was old enough to go out late on Saturdays, that would be like the little family Saturday night situation. And does it hold up with your family still? Nah, we were all looking at it like that was trash. Really? You know what SNL is like with the talented people?

It's exactly what we talked about last week, where like a football player, like a quarterback, gets drafted to a trash system. You just know he's not going to be good. Yeah. Baker Mayfield might be good on the team. He balled out. But he didn't have a...

He balled out yesterday. Yesterday, actually, the Cowboys lost and all that, but he didn't play... I was looking at him like, yo, you're better than this. The running game was incredible, but now they might be okay. Like what, three or four touchdowns, right?

He did, but he had like 170 yards and like five yards in attempt or something. But anyway, point is, a good player can get drafted to a trash organization and you know this their career's over now luckily with stand-ups you can put out your own content now that's different but snl the system is trash you got to blame the system now and i was gonna say one thing about all the tweets i think a lot of the tweets are comics

being like yo i want that spot so let's get other people out of there but it could be good for snl because from what i understood for a large part they were very happy with what they were doing the last 10 years because critics liked it and that's all they listened to twitter seemed to like it because twitter was liberal and that's all they listened to now that twitter is trashing it they might be forced to confront the fact that our show isn't what it could be the thing that i've realized is like uh that the internet kind of exposed is the uselessness of critics like the critics were involved in this system that um this antiquated system now but

basically what the critics would do is reward the shows that propagated the system yeah right so hbo has a new show that comes out the critics are going to go okay this is a really good show and we're going to make that the new thing and it'll win all the emmys and they're gonna win all the emmys even though nobody watches it and that works until we have the freedom to watch whatever we want yeah you know when we were relegated to just watching tv we're like all right i guess i'm gonna watch what the critics say yeah because that's i guess the only thing that's hot right now but when i have the choice to turn on youtube and watch whatever I want, or even Netflix or stream, whatever the fuck it is, when I have a million different options, you'd think

that the critics' voices would be louder. But unfortunately, they haven't come on board with the new generation. Well, that's another difference. Before, the audience didn't really have a voice. Now, as annoying as Twitter and YouTube comments can be, the audience has a voice. They can make themselves heard at every turn. I think I figured out what the critic thing is. Back when TV was appointment viewing, a critic had value because I was going to schedule my night around their critique.

You say that this show is fire, nine o'clock, I'm going to make sure I'm done with dinner at nine so that I can watch that show. We are planning to sit down and watch it. Now that everything is streamed and I can watch it whenever I want, I don't need you to tell me if it's good or not. I'll literally just watch it at my leisure. And the investment is so little that even if you trash it, I'm going to still give it a shot. My friend said it's pretty good. And I think that's what was so terrifying when that uh will smith movie came on netflix and where all the critics unanimously trashed it their job was not to review a movie their job was to motivate you to put clothes on leave your house and go to the movie theater

now that they don't have to motivate you to get out of your house bright yeah now they don't have to motivate you to leave your house and go to the movie theater that you can literally just press play in your underwear Sunday morning. I don't need you to tell me if the movie's good or not. Will Smith is it? I'll give it five minutes. Yeah. And it's trending on Twitter. I don't know if there's a critical voice, but if it's trending on Twitter and the comments are, it's hot. Every time we go eat. That's the loudest critic. Every time we go, I stole this from you, Mark, but every time we would go eat, remember on a road, Mark always asked the waiter, he goes, uh, what's the most ordered item on the menu? Now I do that same thing.

Every time I go ask. And I go, why do you always ask that? He goes, oh, crowd wisdom. I go, what you mean? He goes, it's always right. And he's got a point. If it's some fire shit, you break down the argument. What was the reason why?

Yeah, no, basically that. Like that crowd wisdom, like there's like these little like experiment shits. Oh, gosh, he's rolling his eyes right now. No, no, no, no, not at all. No, go, go, go. I'm not going to keep it long with him. No, no, no, I swear I was. Yeah, so basically like if you have a group of people

and you have a bunch of coins in a jar and you ask all the people, hey, how many coins are in the jar? They're going to be able to, no individual person will be able to guess as close as the average. But the average

is always going to be there. The average is always the closest thing. So you apply that to? To food or whatever. Anything. anything yeah whatever the crowd like consensus is on something i'm like yeah it's probably what i like i mean think about if you're a waiter and you realize that over the thousands of people that come to that restaurant they all get the shrimp poppers or whatever the fuck it is it's probably the thing you need to get that's a great and it will never fail you yeah literally never fail you and i didn't even realize I used to do that before Mark showed us.

Man, let him have the fucking moment, yo. Come on, Al. I did it in a different way because I just hated going through the menus. I would just like pull up Seamless or Yelp or one of those things and just look at the pictures. What do they say? But they would just say like, oh, these are the most popular dishes and I would always get one of those.

I want to make a little point about this, right? Sometimes what I would do before, and this is dumb, is you ask the waiter their favorite item. Yes, and that's what I do and it's stupid. And why is it stupid? Because sometimes they're just trying to get some shit out of the restaurant, out of the kitchen.

That's one. Two, which is like they want to upsell you. That's what you're trying to say, right? They're going to say their most expensive shit. Or they just got some like, we got extra fish, we got to move the fish. Two, right? Three, their wisdom is not the crowd wisdom.

They could really like the steak, but everybody in the restaurant, or not the majority of the people that go to the restaurant might be like, yo, the chicken is way better than the steak. And when you eat there every day, you start to get tired of the thing that's the most popular, that you would love the first time you went in there. Critics are waiters. And some of them are really good waiters. Meaning they're able to pinpoint something and say it's absolutely delicious and we trust them

and some piece of content, if you will, right? But the crowd? Crowd wisdom. The crowd is right. Do you ever do that with like videos on like Facebook or something? Like Instagram, if it's got like a ton of views? Yep.

If it's got like three, four million views? Like it must be all right. I got time. I'll watch a three minute video if it's got five million views. Yep. If it's got like 10,000 views? Five minute video, it's like, 10 seconds of my time If it's got like 10,000 views. Five minute video,

it's like, oh my God. 10 seconds of my time. You better deliver. Yeah, I think we do with everything. I think that's why they put the views on there.

Yeah, exactly. It's an incentive. Yeah, and you notice, sorry to cut you in the tail, but you notice even with our shit that we put out

is once it cracks a certain number, it's actually easier to rack up views. Like if we hit like one million in a week or something. That's what viral is. Yeah, 100%, but like you would think that like there's an immediate viral sensation

but it also tracks faster than the other stuff for that reason it's confirmed what are you saying taylor well based on like the food thing how do you know the waiter's not just lying to you though that's why you don't trust the waiter but who you asking about the crowd what's the crowd take how you know he's just gonna put in his own like favorite yeah it's true but if he says some shit You don't trust the waiter. But who are you asking about? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the crowd take? How do you know he's just going to put in his own favorite? Yeah, it's true. But if he says some shit with mushrooms in it, you know he's lying. Yeah.

Mark hates mushrooms. What? Wait, what? Why? Because they look like Titus' dick. That portobello. My man had the portobello. It's like you're eating your own uncircumcised dick. Yeah, exactly.

No, mushrooms are circed. What? Mushrooms are circed. That's why you don't like them. Yeah. your own uncircumcised dick yeah exactly that's no mushrooms are surged what mushrooms are surged not that's why you don't like them yeah oh that's the hate yeah it's a gross jealous not jealous i don't care about mushrooms they're not bigger than me or whatever you think i care about mushrooms no i just think it's the grossest food right right right point is if we're bringing this back to snl or just critics in general, right, is when you have a couple people hating on SNL might be the same thing as a waiter saying, I don't like a dish. But when it feels like your Twitter is consumed by it, and I'm not just talking about comics.

I'm talking about like sports people I know. I'm not going to name names. But when I see people have nothing to do with stand up shitting on SN snl openly i'm like oh something's missing here this is not hater bitter ass comics only this is the american population going hey this isn't up to par with what we want and the only thing that i could say is they have talented motherfucking people there somebody is putting a wrench in the system yeah it's not the comics the comics cook let them fucking cook i think that's the only way to save it man do you think it's possible to just like i think i brought this up before just

the nature of the show like you have a live show people are doing a live sketch it's just antiquated it's just not interesting to watch a play on tv yeah going that like that's that's interesting because i watched hamilton last night oh they do they do. It's live. It was live. And it was sensational. Granted, Hamilton is a play for three hours. It's probably been worked out for a year before they get it to this level. I mean,

it was unbelievable music, choreography, dance, et cetera. These people are writing an hour and a half show in one week. Right. We write five minutes in one week and it takes us an insane amount of time. That being said,

there's more punchlines in our five minutes than in any monologue in history. But if we're doing, if I'm looking at it like that, maybe you're right. Maybe it's just antiquated, man. Maybe it's just not what we want to see anymore. Maybe they're better off having a season and doing, what is it? I don't know, 20 episodes throughout the year. They do have a season, I think. I don't think they're year round.

So maybe it's better to like write in the off season and just deliver but a lot of their stuff is topical that's right they gotta be topical so maybe you do sketches that aren't topical

yeah and then you just make the what is it called the weekly update yeah weekend update yeah just do weekend update or just do one or two topical sketches

you don't have to do all of them it's a lot of pressure to fill an hour and a half a time yeah 100% the off season is where you should do the work yeah maybe yeah anyway is anybody happier about this than shane gillis shane's celebrating shane loving it yeah he's loving twitter man

shout to shane man he's on the road go check out shane dude well yeah talking about something antiquated i think movie theaters might be dead yeah this is crazy you heard about that break down the story out all right so there was supposed to be a james bond movie coming out and that was supposed to basically save the movie theaters because they've been suffering and the yes it's uh something about now is not the time to die or something they're all yeah yeah you can love tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. So this one, they pushed it back to- No, no, they got the Wu-Tang name generator. They got to have a Bond name generator.

Every single one. Go, go. They pushed this one back to 2021 because the studio felt they weren't going to make money and they weren't going to recoup. And movie theaters were hoping on this. They were hoping for a nice big weekend

to give them a nice little stimulus. And now they closed a bunch of Regals and Cineworld in UK. And you're saying that they're probably going to be closed forever? Yeah, I think it's an estimate of like 85,000 employees. Is... I don't think so.

Are movies done now? No, I mean that. Like, are they going to the movies? Is that done? No. You don't think so? No. Why not not i think people still want to gather around like once the garage is done dude people this shit's open i think it's gonna be like stand-up where there's a market for it but it's much more niche than it ever was i wouldn't you say the opposite is happening now with stand-up

like stamps the biggest has ever been no but going to stand-up comedy clubs is still kind of like it's not a super mainstream thing. Like most of the people you know probably, well, maybe you were different because we know people who come to our shows. Yeah, yeah. But I don't think the average person is like, oh, I love going to stand-up shows.

The way we used to love going to movies. Like some people would go every week. Stand-up's never been as big as movies. Yes, so it's kind of a more niche thing. In the 80s, it was pretty mainstream and like everybody's going to shows from what I understand all the time. Comedy clubs popping up everywhere.

Yeah. We're not opening a ton of comedy clubs right now. But now it's's bigger than the 80s it's bigger because we're watching it at home going no no no going to comedy clubs now the boom is bigger you think there's more people going that's from what i've heard i didn't know there was comedy clubs popping up like that i still see comedy clubs struggling right right i think hollywood's gonna be affected i think think Hollywood's going to have a thinning out because they have like these inflated budgets and like million dollar movies and shit like that. But now Netflix showed them, hey, you can make low budget movies, make them still good and people are going to watch it. And so now I think like a lot of the people who, hey, I hold this one little thing, but I need to get paid. And I got a union salary.

And union and all that shit. I think it's going to start getting trimmed down. get paid and salary and union and all that shit i think it's going to start getting trimmed down that's interesting that you say that about the trimming of hollywood because maybe the same thing happens to hollywood happen to music you know where like music was monetized obviously by selling albums then they stopped being able to sell albums and they're like now we just got to stream and correct me if i'm wrong but like the record companies have found a way to like gain the streaming side of the business or no is everybody making way less money no they found a way to make money and just pay artists less interesting yeah interesting yeah so maybe that's what happens with movies i mean like the days of

paying a star 20 million dollars for a movie, I think are done. Yeah. No, dude. Like my suspicion is that the way that like Hollywood set up financially, they still want to make the most money on each movie. They want to make the biggest amount, even if that means fronting more money. So ultimately, if you're able to make someone spend 15, 20 bucks in a movie theater, I think they're going to take that versus like a streaming. So, but here's my question, right? If you have a $200 million budget for a movie,

the only way that you can make that back, not the only way, but the way that you make that back most effectively is if there's some sort of like financial barrier to entry, right? And that means literally going into the movie theater, paying the ticket. Right. Anything online, this next generation,

your generation specifically, y'all know how to get it off of a, what is it called? Right, exactly. Like Torrance. Torrance and all this other stuff. Like you can watch the movie the same day it comes out, sometimes before that.? Right, exactly. Like Torrance. Torrance and all this other stuff. You can watch the movie the same day it comes out,

sometimes before that. So there's no way that that old system of paying to go to the movies is going to be sustainable. But I think the theaters and the movie studios are just going to say

it's only in theaters. It's the only place you can see it. If you want to see it, you have to get in your car, you got to come here, you got to spend 15 bucks. And that's the only way. Because I'm even looking

at the budgets that Netflix is paying for their most expensive shows. That's what they used to do. A movie comes out, it's the only way. Because I'm even looking at the budgets that Netflix is paying for their most expensive shows. That's what they used to do. A movie comes out, it's only in theaters. Yeah, exactly. That's my point. I think it's just going to go back to the way that it was 10 months ago.

And I'm even looking at Netflix's most expensive show they ever paid for. It was $130 million a season for The Crown. And so I'm even thinking those those like multi like hundred million dollars movies like I don't know if they can sustain on a streaming platform they can't they can't

and so my thinking is that there's still money to be made there and I think they can still get people to go out but besides that people like going to the movie

just because it's a bigger screen and then for me I go to like the movie theaters that you get the fine cedars and like different

not just popcorn that's what I think it'll be no hold up if we can fly if we can go inside to restaurants why can't we go

to a movie theater with these giant ceilings where there's so much room for the circulated air I think in Florida they're fully open really so it's

one it's state by state like New York for example I believe most theaters are either closed or like 25% capacity max and like restaurants for example um they have like all these crazy rules they have to have like hvac systems in there now

if they want to have like more than 25 capacity like they could funnel the air yeah so it's like if movie theaters don't have that it's like i would just i would suspect it's the same like restrictions but why don't they just open up the movies i have the reclined seats suspect it's the same restrictions. But why don't they just open up the movie theaters and have the reclined seats because it's already space? And then just clean them in between each one. I think some movies, I think in Jersey

I was seeing a movie theater that was open. Because I really want to see that Christopher Nolan shit. Yeah. Tending? Yeah. I really want to see that.

But you can't see it anywhere. Everything's closed in the fucking city. You can't download it. But I think movie theaters are going to go to this system where the movie is an elevated experience at the theater. It's like you get food, you got reclining seats. What's the one theaters are going to go to this system where the movie is an elevated experience at the theater.

It's like you get food, you got reclining seats. What's the one you always go to? I pick? I pick. I think movie theaters are going to become that kind of thing. Yeah, that'd be better. I think the thing where we're all crammed in sitting next to each other and just shoving drinks in a drink holder and that popcorn and goobers is all you get.

I think that's done. And socially distanced. You've been done forever? I'm talking like 10 years. I think it's done. Honestly, bro, it might be, man. I don't think so. What do you mean? We've been stuck in the house so much, you don't think people will...

I think the crammed in together. Maybe after Corona, we're like, nah, I need people. Once we beat it, fuck it. I want to be around people. I don't care. Maybe that'll happen. My feeling is it'll go to like the I pick situation. Yeah.

Sales will never be as good as they once were because there's always going to be a portion of the population that feels a little sketched out with being around people and they're never just going to go back to normal and i don't i don't buy it i'm telling you like that'd be like when you ask your grandparents like they couldn't imagine one day just flying to germany you know i mean like that like the idea of just like oh yeah i could just go to germany because we're in the middle of a world war in the 40s. Like there's no way that could ever happen. And that's like, I think the mindset now, it's like, oh, there's no way people are ever be comfortable being around each other. 10, 15 years.

That's not my mindset. Human beings, I think, just revert to what human nature is. And that's just like community being around. I think that movies were already struggling. And I think what was happening with movies, it was kind of similar to what was happening with comedy. They're tracking where it's like the no name comic had a really tough time selling any tickets because there were fans, not really of comedy, but of individuals.

So there's like an Akash Singh fan, but Joe Schmoe's headlining the chuckle hut in Indiana is not going to bring anybody out. And I think that's what started to happen with films. The only films that were really generating money were the ones that came from either a Marvel franchise, a book franchise, something that was already films. The only films that were really generating money were the ones that came from either a Marvel franchise, a book franchise, something that was already proven. And I understand that too.

If you're spending $200 million on a film, that shit better be proven. Exactly. Yeah, I think maybe the bottom gets culled off and just goes straight to streaming. Yep. But I think there's still going to be theaters with blown-up sets.

And low-key, sorry to cut, but low-key, I kind of like that better. Yeah, exactly. I don't need to see some rom-com in a movie theater. Matter of fact, if I'm getting vulnerable, I don't don't need to see some rom-com in the movie theater. Matter of fact, if I'm getting vulnerable, I don't want to be holding back my sniffles in the fucking movie theater. Watching Onward.

Exactly. I can't be doing that. Imagine me Onward. No, I feel you, but these movie theaters still have to pay rent. No, no.

So check it. Right. So yeah, of course they have to pay rent. I think all rents are coming down, but that's a different thing. But, uh,

so they still have to pay rent. So what we do is we have more blockbusters, right? You have smaller movie theaters. Instead of having a movie theater, like the one on 14th in Union Square in New York City, it's got 20 fucking theaters and you have theaters. That's what we used to brag about,

more screens. Yeah, and it's like, who cares? All we really need is one or maybe three. Yeah. Honestly, you can have one.

It is going to be an experience. And I also think as home entertainment gets better and better, can have one it is going to be an experience and i also think as home entertainment gets better and better the need to leave is going to be and i made this decision years ago i'm only watching a movie if it's like some shit i can only experience in the theater and it's not only only experience it's like that last 10 minutes of endgame you want to be around people experiencing it too you want to be around with people cursing at the fucking and i didn't like endgame as much as everybody else because I didn't get that.

Didn't get it. So I was like, oh my gosh, when I rewatched the last 10 minutes on YouTube, I watched the one with the crowd reaction in it because I like seeing them

go crazy when Thor's hammer is grabbed by Captain America. Like that for me is part of the experience. I don't need that for a rom-com. I don't need that for a cartoon movie. Yeah.

I think those get pulled off on the streaming. And that's why I think it becomes a smaller thing. And here's the thing that's better yeah you want more opportunities for streaming because streaming often gets like uh what they say to happen like movies got too expensive and then all the longer stories uh sorry then all the like the movies that didn't have some sort of uh connection to a movie or a book or a franchise whatever they got turned into longer stories and then we got this like golden age of streaming tv you know i wonder if sopranos is a movie

at that time i don't know breaking bad's a movie or breaking bad is probably a movie yeah yeah so we can benefit from it too just let marvel do all the other shit and it doesn't need to be in a movie theater it's you know i think the secret need to be in a movie theater. The secret needs to be in a movie theater? I can see Marvel just opening their own theaters. That's what I think. I think all theaters close and then you'll have a Disney theater. You have MGM theater.

That wine scene theater, that shit should be pop. Miramax? Not Miramax low budget. You do that Miramax low budget, you do that at home in the privacy of your own home. They're not free to leave You know what I mean? Climax

That's what we need to do Yeah Willow plants everywhere All over the fucking theater Yeah Your own plant to whack off So we'll see what happens Who knows

Look before we get out of here We got to acknowledge An athletic achievement That was absolutely amazing It was game three Of the NBA finals Bruh There was Every single analyst that was absolutely amazing. It was game three of the NBA finals. There was every single analyst,

every single podcaster, every single casual fan was like, yo, the Lakers are going to sweep this shit. There is no fucking way. I didn't say that. You didn't say that. That's right. You did not say that. I'll give Mark credit.

He knows absolutely nothing about basketball, but he did get this right. Come on, dude. The Heat are missing their starting point guard, Goran Trujic. They are missing their starting, I guess he's a center, power forward. They're maybe their superstar in the making, Bam Adebayo. Superstar in the making, Bam Adebayo.

They're missing both of them. Somehow, Jimmy Butler takes his depleted Heat team and beats these Lakers all by himself, putting up 40 points. I think he's like 40, 11, and 10. 40-point triple-double, yeah. 40-point triple-double. Wait for it. All while guarding either AD or LeBron.

Insane. The guarding AD and LeBron thing alone is usually something that we would go, wow, Iguodala guarded LeBron. Remember when he would guard LeBron when he was on the Warriors? He guarded LeBron the whole game. He managed to score 10 points, give him the MVP. Oh my Lord.

This guy guarded LeBron or AD? Yeah. Jimmy Butler's what? Six, seven? Maybe. Grown ass man. Six, seven. Six, seven.

Grown ass man right there. Good man, dog. Put his team on his fucking back. One of the most sensational, athletic, I mean, I don't know if you call it an achievement. I don't know if it's necessarily

winning one game in the finals is not an achievement, but- One of the best single game performances. It's one of the best single game performances

in history, dude. Incredible. Unbelievable, dude. Incredible. And the guy shot, what was it, 10 for 15 or something like that?

14 for 20. Or 14 for 20? Insane. That's crazy, yeah. Gave Tyler hero confidence. 75% from the field. Son, if he didn't have your respect before, you got to give it up now. Son, this is the guy.

This is what we wish Westbrook was. We said it before on this podcast, but truly, that's what it is. This guy is a next level fucking talent. A next level competitor. Next level competitor. And he's talking shit on the way out, too. I'm actually upset i didn't watch the game because i thought uh it's a wrap same boring here's the thing about this it wasn't there were times where it got close don't get me wrong i think that the lakers got with him one a couple times but he just outplayed him and it was kind of

throughout the game yeah and lakers would make little runs but then jimmy flying away and a game too they were saying and i didn't take it seriously they were throughout the game. And Lakers would make little runs, but then Jimmy flying away. End of game two, they were saying, and I didn't take it seriously, they were like, the Heat might have figured something out. Why, why, why? They kept the game within striking distance. They just kind of like, their defensive rotations were more in sync or some shit like that.

You know, there's always something like, they figured out not to switch on certain, whatever, I don't know. They were just more on a string the way they defend in the second game as opposed to the first game, and maybe they figured something out because they were within striking distance the whole game and i kind of took it seriously

but i was also like man they always say this shit like come on this lebron it's over lebron looks different he did not and i granted i think the lakers still got it i think lebron didn't have a great game and from what i understand it was just like yeah do you think that this was celebrating before the victory well you know lebr, LeBron, why Jimmy Butler said you're in trouble to LeBron in the fourth quarter. Some reporter asked him about that. He's like,

don't have it out here like I'm just out talking trash to everybody. LeBron said that to me in the first quarter. You're in trouble. So I just used his own words against him in the fourth

after we won. You're in trouble. Oh, man. Yo. You don't understand what I'm saying about that? The Lakers kind of took their foot off the gas.

Yeah, like the Lakers are like, oh, we got it. They're reading all the tweets. Like, Lakers about to sweep. Like, but do you think, you don't understand what I'm saying about that? Like the Lakers kind of took their foot off the gas. Yeah. Like the Lakers are like, Oh, we got it. They're reading all the tweets. Like Lakers about to sweep. Like they dominated them the first two games. And they hear that two of their players, two of their best players are not even going to be in the lineup.

They probably enter the right game going, Oh, this is a lock. This is easy. And they go down by a few points and they're like, Oh, we'll turn it on whenever we want. And everybody's waiting for someone else to turn it on.

Nobody's turning it on. And then you have a guy like Jimmy Butler, who's like, Oh no, I'm gonna keep scoring and everybody's waiting for someone else to turn it on. Nobody's turning it on and then you have a guy like Jimmy Butler who's like, oh no, I'm going to keep scoring this whole game. You're going to have to beat us.

I think that it could be a little bit different. Now, I'm going to say this. LeBron is different. You got LeBron is different but as a Mavericks fan who saw the finals in 2006, game three ain't the time

to take your foot off the gas. You better at least win that game if you want to put the heat away. Any Pat Riley squad. Is there anything Jimmy Butler can do at this point? Or what can he do to become finals MVP? So there is a finals

MVP from a losing team. Jerry West did it. I think it was only once in history that happened. I don't think they'll ever do that again though. Pardon? I don't think they'll ever do that again. I don't think they will either. If they didn't do it when LeBron lost to the Warriors the first time when he led in like every category and Kyrie and Kevin Love were hurt, they ain't doing it again. I also think it they will either. If they didn't do it when LeBron lost to the Warriors the first time when he led in like every category and Kyrie and Kevin Love were hurt, they ain't doing it again.

I also think it's a branding thing when it comes to like finals MVP is like you want to crown LeBron if he does it. Or maybe AD, but you want to like invest in your you know, next generation stars because they like qualify how great they are with that in a way and like what if you won a finals MVP without

winning the finals? It's kind of a waste. And Jimmy jimmy butler would have to do this two more times at least or at least one more another thing i want to say real quick he turned his ankle in game two that's a great point i saw that yeah and like kind of bad yeah and he turned his ankle in the scariest way which was without landing on someone yeah he literally a hard step. I don't know if you saw, you saw the thing, right? Yeah. He takes a hard step. Turned it hard. And he curled over on it.

Yeah. Usually that means, at least when that would happen to me, it was happening to me when my ankle was already weak. Yeah. Like I had a preexisting injury that didn't heal all the way

so it didn't have the strength to hold up when I'm making like a strong move. Yeah. When I saw that, I was like, oh, it's a wrap. Yeah.

This guy comes back next game, triple dub with 40. Insane. That's a grown ass man. We want comes back next game triple dub with 40. Insane. That's a grown ass man. We want him on the podcast. We're trying to make that happen, by the way. Oh, let's fucking do it. We're trying to make that happen, yo. Tell Jimmy he got shit to handle. We are not going to harass him now, but when this shit is all over, we need to talk to that dude, man. That's a grown ass man right there.

When they interviewed him at the end of the game, he was like, the difference is game is rebounded. Like, when he was like, yo, we're going to change something, I think they just attacked the boards a lot more. Interesting. The Lakers were dominating the boards. They looked so much bigger than them in the first two games. I think the Heat were playing a real small lineup and maybe he was

right. Maybe he was just putting like, what's the guy's name? Miles Leonard or something like that. Like maybe just putting a big old body out there. Yeah, I mean that's what Dwight Howard is at this point. Just a big old body. That's what JaVale McGee is, a big old body. Yeah. You just need someone

to be able to bang. Point is, Jimmy Butler's a beast. I fuck with you. I love how you're playing the game, Jimmy. We want you on this podcast when all this is over.

Hell yeah. Regardless if you got that chip or not, we want you on the podcast. I'm buying a jersey. I'm fangirling over here. It's not going up on the wall yet.

We'll see what happens. Matter of fact, if they win, I'll put it up on the wall. 100%. If they win, I'm going to put it up on the wall. 100%. They win, I'm going to put it up on the wall. So, Jimmy, that's real motivation to win.

If you didn't need more motivation, now you've got it. Also, Asshole Army, editors, graphic designers, multimedia beasts, we're looking forward to see what you cook up, man.

I'm very excited for that. I can't wait to show what you guys do with the world or show it to the world. So, go get to cooking. Again, the link is in the drop box and you can do that. And also we got another episode every single Friday at Patreon. That's right.

The number one comedy patron in the fucking world. Over at patreon.com. It's like flagrant too. It's $5 for the month, but we got different tiers. You know, we got some captains, but you might have to build up to that. Y'all can go check that out. Second episode every week. Every week.

Best fucking bargain in entertainment. Come on, man. Real talk. Two hour episode. Less than a cup of coffee. You got to do it. We'll see you over there. that out second episode every week every week best fucking bargain entertainment come on man real talk two hour episode less than a cup of coffee you gotta do it we'll see you over there patreon.com such flagrant too thank y'all so much for spreading the word supporting what we do peace