Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Wet

Episode Date: November 15, 2019

This week on patreon Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: being a top 20 Patreon in the universe, seeing your parents drunk for the first time, sports would suck without alcohol, getting wet, the top 5 guys we'd bang, the flagrant thoughts of the week, and much more. INDULGE!!! Want the full episode? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2

Alright, five hottest dudes. He number one in real life? Five hottest dudes, let's go. Five hottest dudes. I bet. I got one. Five hottest dudes, hands down. Number one. No, we start at five, go.

Well, I don't know. Any order, don't matter. Just throw them out. This is Us. I don't know his name. Just put that. Black dude? No, the white dude. Oh, yeah, yeah. He pretty.

Son, he's a pretty. I don't know his name. Pretty white boy. Fucking Aquaman. Aquaman. Handsome, yo. Jason Momoa. You ready? You ready?

No, not the black one. Not the black one. I'm not into that ruggy shit. The white dude, he's all. I like, yo. You need a little something features. I don't know. I ain't into that ruggy shit He's all I like yo He needs a little Soft and features I don't know I ain't into that

Rugged shit bro You kidding me I need a soft like Delicate man bro Nah nah nah Yo look up Nah like I was feeling you Kaz

When he was raping bitches In Game of Thrones When he was raping Khaleesi And I was like Alright he has a good looking face There you go So that dude right there. He's a good-looking dude.

Okay. He's a good-looking dude. Get him with his shirt on. Yo, you like the white bitches, bro. I love his white bitches, bro. This shit is gnarly. I got to go for it. Son.

Come on, son. Nah, dude. Yo, who you like, yo? Nah, dude. Son, you might pick you a dude. Andrew just jealous because he look better than him. I ain't going front. Yo, you too picky with dudes, yo.

I'm very picky. That's gay, bro. I know what I like, though. I like mad dudes, son. My shit is a wide variety. All right, go, go. Who's Andrew? I just don't want to be hacky with it.

I don't want to say Brad Pitt or nothing. I want to find a real banger. You want a deep cut. You know what I mean? I want to come through with something where you're like, oh, shit. He fine. He fine. That motherfucker make me wet.

All right, so we got Boris Chestnut. What's this dude's name? Boris Chestnut What happened? God damn I need something Oh, Kojo Boris Kojo, whatever

Boris Son of a fine ass bohag Boris Chestnut ain't the most English name I ever heard of Oh my god Hello, good fellow Boris Chestnut here Oh my god Shamar Moore Boris Chestnut here Oh my god Shamar Moore beautiful

I seen this guy At the laugh factory Yeah I seen him In real life He's not as good looking But this is the illest Celebrity story I ever had in my life

He walks in the laugh factory At Chocolate Sundaes Yeah He just walks through The audience Every five people Holding hands Two bad bitches in front

Him in the middle Two bad bitches behind him Love it Just five Beautiful ass hands, two bad bitches in front, him in the middle, two bad bitches behind him. Love it. Just five beautiful ass people just walking. Four bitches. Shamar Moore. Shamar Moore, bro. S-A-M-A-R-O-W.

Hold on. Let him go. Let him go. Let's go. Hey, you smell this. There you go. Yeah, it's pretty good. See, Google helps, bro.

Sound it out. Oh, nah. Come on, son. Nah, you got to see him with the curl. Bro, my man is rugged. Nah, son. He's gotten old. I got you. All right, I'll take that. He don't got to see him with the curl. Bro, my man is rugged. Nah, son. Got old. I got you.

All right, I'll take that. He don't look as good with ball-headed. That also hurts my LeBron argument from earlier, but no, he don't look as good with ball-headed. Okay, okay. And that goatee. All right, go. Kaz, Kaz, throw one out, man. Oh, fuck.

Who's a good-looking fucking dude? Captain America. Oh. Captain America's a good dude. I didn't know that, bro. Captain America ain't a good-looking motherfucker. I mean. No, not Captain. Thor, Captain America. Oh. Captain America's a good dude. What the hell are they doing with all that, bro? Captain America ain't a good looking motherfucker. No, not Thor. My fault.

Thor. Son, Kaz likes them thick on both sides. Come on, bro. This handsome ass motherfucker right here. You kidding me? Yo, Loki. Dog. Yo, you know what's mad funny?

You know what's mad funny? Like, the face I put the body on. That's how you got to talk about guys. Face I put the body on. My man handsome as fuck. O.D. fucking handsome. My man handsome. He funny, bro.

This motherfucker had the greatest fucking come up story about how he got into acting ever. Motherfucker was just like, yo, you should act. He was like, all right. First movie ever. Bam. Did soap operas for like a week. Next week he was in fucking Thor. That was like, all right. First movie ever. Bam. Did soap operas for like a week. Next week,

he was in fucking Thor. That was it. Nah, he handsome, bro. Wild handsome, bro. Nah, my man is handsome. I get it.

Like, I don't think these things is handsome per se, but like, when I see him and I see Wild Woman go crazy, I'm like,

I get it. He's just like, I get it. Wait, you don't think that he's handsome, though? Nah, like,

I would've hit, but. Who would you hit? Who would you Who would you hit Who is the one you would hit I ain't smash I wouldn't smash none of these I'm just Yes

Finally Blur it out Blur it out Blur it out Oh yo Blur it out Idris Idris a bad motherfucker

My thing with Idris Is like Yo I've gotten some Idris Nah I mean motherfucker. My thing with Idris is like- Yo, I've gotten some Idris. Nah, I mean, hold on. Nah, don't embarrass yourself, Kat. The thing with Idris, though, is his personality. That's why I fuck him off.

His personality is like- It's like you just want to- This is what Kat's really going for. Yo, Kat, stop. Look more stoic. Look more stoic. Look more stoic, son. You know going side by side makes you look worse. Yo, same.

We twins, man. We twins. We're all- No, you not. You twins. He Arnold Schwarzenegger. You Joe Pesci. Oh, man.

Bro. Nah, during the wire, though, I saw it. Nah, bro. I saw a little bit in the wire, but you seen Luther? I'll fuck him off Luther, yo. Straight up. Straight up. My man was smart and tough.

He's gonna fuck him off Luther. I'm trying to think of a handsome, like, a make you uncomfortable handsome dude. Number one real life Boris Kojo. He's got probably 10 on his mind that he can't choose. No, because I don't want to choose a hacky one. I want that shit to be real. Yeah, but they're hacky because they're fine. You know what I mean?

We know about them because David Beckham is fine. David Beckham, all right. I used to put him on, but no. I mean, he old, but peak David Beckham is fine. David Beckham, all right. I used to put him on, but no. I mean, he old, but peak David Beckham? Peak David. Peak David Beckham. Boy. Yo, what about a guy with nice lips?

Me, yo. Yo, son. Come on, come on. See, but then there's people that are too pretty. Go to, yeah, go to too pretty. Too pretty is... Matt Rife. The Ronaldo dude, the other soccer player dude.

Oh, Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo? Yeah, he's like too pretty. Way too pretty, bro. Not my type. Go prettiest men. Not my type, bro. Go prettiest men. Yeah, I'm with you on that.

We're going to find some. Him, Mario Lopez. Men in the world, boom. They just too pretty. Who the fuck is this? Yo, Zayn. How'd I forget about my guy Zayn, dog? Oh, yeah.

Zayn Mullick, that motherfucker. Mahalik. So I don't hate, bro. You just want us to represent. Oh, but don't act like you ain't bad, dog. He's not bad. He a piece, yo. My man is a piece, bro.

Act like it. So you got your man Anthony Joshua up there. Nah, yo. You know who's kind of fine? Nah, Zayn Mullick Joshua up there. Nah, yo, you know who's kind of fine? Nah, Zayn Mullick fine as fuck, though. Yo, you know who's kind of fine? Go down.

Go to that one. Oh, yo. Who's this man? I don't know, but he hot. I don't know who he is, but he is hot. That's best case scenario,

Andrew. It's crazy, yo. That's what Andrew think he look like. Hold on. I got it. Yo, he got the same hair right here and everything. Ain't it wild. That's what Andrew think he look like. Hold on. I got it. Yo, he got the same hair right here and everything. Ain't it wild?

That's a regular nose Shylock. That's Andrew with the delicious. I don't know who that is. My man is cute. He was in like those vampire movies. Prison Bay was fine. What's his name? Oh, Felon Bay?

Yeah, Felon Bay. I think it was just that picture. I think he just had a good mug shot. What's his name? Oh, Felon Bay? Yeah, Felon Bay. I think it was just that picture. I think he just had a good mugshot. That's a great... Oh, actually, no. He get it. He look a little too vampire-ish. He left his girl immediately.

He started dating her. No, she left him. Not his girl? Yeah, the billionaire. She left him. No, no. He left his original girl. He left his regular bitch.

Oh, yeah, for the billionaire. But you thought that she was going to last? Damn, who not? That's another Felon Bay? He should have got a baby, no. He left his original girl. He left his regular bitch. Oh, yeah, billionaire. You thought that she was going to last? Damn, who that? That's another felon bitch? He should have got a baby, though. He fucked up. Guys, we're talking about dudes right now. Stop ruining the fun.

My bad, guys. Shit. God damn it. Drew, come on, Drew. I did. I gave you that one. We didn't even know the name of it. Was he even an actor?

I don't know. Alex really not fucking with Nicki Minaj, bro. Son. Nicki? Nah, bro. Son. Nicki, nah, son. She got the diaper butt, though. Like, it's too much. Everything's too much. Yeah.

Too much, too big. Nah, Felon Bay handsome, bro. Felon Bay is handsome. See that? Nah, come on, bro. Wait, hold on. Can you go back to Felon Bay real quick? Sorry.

Go back. Look at this picture on the top right. Oh, no. He had the teardrop tattoo. I thought they added that shit. Like, hey, let's make him look dangerous as a model. Let's remind everybody. He had that shit.

Go back. Go back to the shit we were just at. Yeah. Yeah. All right, let's see who we got here. Let me think of anybody. Does that ball look whack? Oh, what about, um.

All right. Spider-Man ain't handsome. Nah, he not handsome. What about the dude that was in Baywatch uh Zach yeah Efron

Efron Efron nah nah nah nah he good looking ain't nothing keep going down here keep going down here

I wanna see more we really judging yeah keep going down keep going down that's the funniest shit let's see we eco-opportunist

eco-opportunity misogynists, bro. All these dudes ugly, yo. We objectify everybody. Look at these ugly motherfuckers. What the fuck is that? Get out of here, bro. That's the boy from your movie, Al.

Six feet apart. That's the Mexican from Six Feet Apart. Oh, word. Yep. So that shit made me cry. Yeah, you really cried on that one. You cried too, you little bitch. I did?

Yes, you did. Why that guy take You cried too, you little bitch. I did? Yes, you did. Why'd that guy take away from you crying? I'm just saying. Don't act like I'm the only one out here. But you did cry. That's a fact. Yeah, but you bitching up on a play. What?

I was on the inside seat. Exactly. That's worse. You right. Yo, look at Dev Patel looking fine as fuck. Nah, nah, nah. Yo, how do you know all the Indian fighters? I don't even know. Son, because I fuck any one of. Nah, nah, nah. Yo, how do you know all the Indian fine dudes? I don't even know.

Son, because I fuck any one of them off their strength, bro. Wait, this guy? Respect, yo. I'll suck that dude's dick. I'll suck his dick clean off. Oh, my God. Oh Clean off. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. Yo, son.

Yo, son. Yo, son. We off the rails, son. Holy fuck. Yo, what's up? This is Akash. That was a preview of our Patreon episode. If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant

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