Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Wet Ass P-word

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia and Mark discuss who has the wettest WAP between Cardi B, Meg Thee Stallion and Ben Shapiro, how the rich launder money with trash art, confirm The Matrix was actually a trans story, why no one is watching the NBA, the race of women you're not allowed to like and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2

Yo, I know everybody's heard the wet ass pussy song that WAP, Cardi B, Megastallion. What y'all haven't heard is the remix. I don't even know how they put out a remix so fast. This shit is straight fire. I know everybody's bopping to the song, but this remix is unbelievable. I don't even know how they got this dude on the song. I mean, it's absolutely incredible. Just play it, Al. Hit that shit. Let's go. Let's vibe to start this podcast, man. Let's unbelievable. I don't even know how they got this dude on the song. I mean, it's absolutely incredible. Just play it, Al.

Hit that shit. Let's go. Let's vibe to start this podcast, man. Let's vibe. Ready? You ready? I'm ready. There's some whores in this house.

There's some whores in this house. There's some whores in this house. Hold up. I said certified freaks seven days a week. Wet ass P word. Woo. Yeah, you effing with some wet ass P word. Okay.

Female genitalia. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Pause that. That's too much. Yo, if y'all don't know Autistic Adam Smith, that's Ben Shapiro right there. Spin par, son. Hold on.

Give us a little more of that. Shapiro, come on, you nerd. Tell us about that wet ass P word. For this wet ass P word, give me everything you nerd. Tell us about that wet-ass P-word. For this wet-ass P-word, give me everything you got for this wet-ass P-word. Beat it up, N-word. Catch a charge. Extra large and extra hard. Put this P-word right in your face. Swipe your

nose like a credit card. Oh, shit! He said nose and credit card in the same bar! Yo! Oh, my God, bro. Keep it going, son. It's too crazy, bro. Keep it going, son. It's too crazy, son.

Oh, he got more? It's a kegel while it's inside. Spit in my mouth. Look in my eyes. This P word is wet. Come take a dive. Don't do it. It continues along these lines.

Oh. And it gets significantly more vulgar. What? Yo, he let you know he got more in the chamber. What's that, Al? What's that, Al? I want to see the... Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I want to see the vulgarity. Y'all want to see the vulgarity?

Y'all want to see the vulgarity? Hey, listen, Ben. Tuck that yarmulke in your back pocket and drop this second verse. Let's go with the vulgarity. You really ain't never gonna F him for a thing. He already made his mind up before he came. Now get your boots and your coat for this wet ass P word. Oh my God.

Just to kiss me on this wet ass P word. Guys, this is what feminists are for. This is what the feminist movement was all about. Stop. I mean, bro. Megan Carty gotta watch out, yo. Yo, that shit is. Megan Carty gotta watch out, yo Yo, Megan Carty gotta watch out

Honestly, Ben might have the wettest pussy on the earth Real talk Let me Do y'all think that pussy was wet? Oh, God Nah, he sounds like a P word He does Son, that's some wet ass pussy right there, bro.

That's different. He's probably sliding off his chair when he was rapping. Real talk. Do you think it's possible? Do you think it's possible that there is truth to this? The verses are so fire that even Ben Shapiro could read it and it's still hot? I mean, clearly. Yeah. could read it and it's still hot i mean clearly yeah i wasn't getting as hot and heavy as when

cardi and meg were rapping but i will say it had it had me feeling a type of way oh i beg to differ i mean this is the illest remix i've heard really my dick moved all acapella oh man acapella like that p word oh like i was playing it from my laptop but i have the visual of ben here oh my straight wood i'm straight wood right now guys look away that's look away look away so oh man god yeah i wish he did a whole album he might need who else would you put on there what other songs would i just see ben shiraarer remix? My Neck, My Back. Oh, yeah. Your P word and your C word? Yeah. Yo.

I want it to be so many words that you just can't even say the words. Real talk. Yeah. That would be the ideal. Yin Yang Twangs, Whisper in Your Ear. Now we're talking. Hey, little mother. Allow me to whisper in your ear.

Wait till you see my... Oh. Fire, yo. Guys, we need to get to the bottom something very important okay who has the wettest ass pussy in that video my gut my gut is cardi cardi alex i don't know why i'm gonna go meg meg yeah i said you say meg yeah interesting cardi kind of gross me out be honest a little bit no no i'm not talking about the about- It's not who's the hottest. Yeah, it's not who's the hottest. It's who has the wettest ass pussy. And what's very interesting about this discussion-

I think Meg still- You think Meg still- Her ass pussy's the wettest. The ass pussy's the wettest possible. Pussy and moisture is not related to looks. Neither of you guys know what wet pussy is. Do you want to clarify that? Oh, wait a minute.

You guys have fingered girls before that aren't your girlfriends. Yeah. So you have technically felt other pussies. Mm-hmm. Okay. girls before yeah that aren't your girlfriends yeah so you have technically felt other pussies okay so you would know you wouldn't know if your current one is wetter or drier than the other pussies you fingered i would okay right okay good okay just making sure that we can have this discussion right i what what al i didn't know that they figured women before yeah i've been giving bitches that come hither yo what's up bitch i gots out here fingering them bro bitch come get that come here i ain't no nice shout out to you yeah i was killing it out here i i think

i think cardi's got the wettest pussy i agree i'm with you on cardi's got the wettest pussy because everything about her is wet like even when she talks moist mouth it's moist mouth there's right it's like everything is super wet about her yeah i'm assuming wettest pussy is cardi without a doubt wettest. Meg the Stallion might have a dick. So we're not sure based on that if the pussy is wet. Meg, yeah, Meg just seems too big. It's just, you know, moisture's going everywhere else. There's a lot of different places for the moisture.

There's a lot of different places for the moisture to's a lot of different places for the moisture to go it could be all throughout her body healing gunshot wounds it's doing a lot yes I agree I think I'm going to have to go Cardi now someone may say

what I heard the theory that he thought that she was an actual horse so he shot her in the leg oh man that's what I heard we have to keep that I literally thought

this is what I was told they were having sex and all of a sudden Tori just heard and then just bop bop bop he started bucking off that's what i heard bucking off before she chopped up the horse because of her ass he got the ass of a stallion stallion obviously everyone uh there it is also horses got wet pussy you ever seen how big horse dicks are oh they got to be wet you got to be super duper wet to get that big horse dick in there. That's why I say Meg probably has the wettest pussy.

You think? Yeah. Huh. Mark? Yeah, I agree. Why do y'all think that? I don't understand. Why y'all think Meg got the wettest pussy?

I don't understand it. Cardi seems like she's dried up. She's haggard. What? Whoa. Cardi grows me out. I don't know why. I'm not saying...

You're tying this with attractiveness. Irrespective of attractiveness. Pussy wetness doesn't have to do with what she knows about skateboarding. You know what I'm saying? Just pussy wetness exists within its own department. You can support the Fed and still have a wet pussy. Thank you.

She's been stripping for years and years and years. Yeah, that's why I feel like it's just, that's her gift. Do you think that she's so detached from- Doesn't the well dry up after kids? I don't think pussy gets, oh, maybe it does. I think the well's dried up. Meg is young. She's a stallion.

You don't know her age. I think they're both young. No, she's 26. Cardi's like 30-something. No, she's not. She's old, bro. Old, like 36. Old. Cardi's like 30-something. No, she's not. She's old, bro. Old. Like 36.

Old. Cardi's. Bro. Yo, all right. I'm outing you right now. I just want to point this out. Al is on super defense mode, and I tried to get it out before the podcast. I tried to sit down with him because Al was posting pictures on his Instagram live this

weekend about him on a boat, right? Now, if you're new to this podcast, Al's, you know, he doesn't have sex with black women. That's one thing that is 100% true. That's not true. Al said, Al does not have sex with black women. He's coming from a comedian.

Al, no, seriously. Am I being offensive today or is everybody just a little bit more sensitive? I'm just saying, Al does not have sex with black women. This is something, and you were doing this

before you made it, which is very good. Hey, hey. You know how my ex-girlfriend was black. What are you about yeah but that was way back in day and then you knew this is true you know how jp morgan made his wife sign a prenup when he had 15 in his pocket it was like he knew he was gonna make it and he's like this bitch ain't gonna have that's how you were you're like listen i'm gonna be a black celebrity so i'm gonna stop fucking black

women now because you're jp morgan chasing all the black bitches out of your life. No, I'm just not rich enough yet, so I don't deserve to be with a beautiful black queen. Oh, so now you're with the white girls. Yeah, just now. So you admit that your girl's white. That's all I wanted! That's all I wanted

for you to admit it! You said girls plural. I just figured it out! You spit it out! I just figured it out. You spit it out. I just figured it. I heard plural. Oh my gosh. You got got right there, bro. I heard plural.

Stop it. Out here wearing one of her tote bags as a shirt. What the fuck is that? You walk in here, you're like, that's a tough shirt. Yeah, but now it's the podcast. I have to make fun of you for it Okay good I like your shirt too

No no no You're not gonna kill me With kindness bro We're not in Cape Cod no more Son Your legs nice and Listen Thick today

Yo Alright I was working legs I was doing some squats I was doing some hamstringing You know what I mean Asshole perky Ay Yes Oh shit I was doing some hamstringing. You know what I mean? That's all perky. Hey, yes.

Oh, shit. All right. You think you're out? You're not out. Okay? Remember that boat pick that the Giants did? Remember it was all like the receiving part on the thing? Right.

Al did the same pick. Only it was just women that those Giants would fuck. All types of people. All black guys, right? No. Yeah. Well, I know where this is going. Hold on.

No. Who wasn't black? Hey, you ever watch a movie and you already know how it ends and the shit just started? Yeah. This is happening? This is good. Okay. Do you want to predict where it goes?

All black guys. He's already wrong on this one. Okay. How many white guys? One white guy. What type of white was he? White, white. From where?

Your white. He got y'all on the boat. He's the captain of that motherfucker. He's the captain. Oh, actually, that makes two because the captain was white too. There we go. Boom. Yes.

Let's go. The fucking captain and first mate. You're like, yo, get in the picture so we can have some diversity. It looks like we stole white women. Oh, my God. All right, so it's a bunch of black dudes, right? There's three black dudes, two Spanish dudes, two white dudes. Right.

Yep. It looked like it was tons of black dudes. I mean, hey. Right? Summertime. Now, are you Spanish or black? What does that mean? Summertime?

You're Spanish. You're Spanish. I'm Spanish. In that picture, you're Spanish or black? I mean, it's late in the summer i would say i'm more so black you're black okay now of how many full black women were on that boat two did they come with that right there's a lie there's two that right there's a lie out there's one so here's the thing there's don't get your corporate al voice on bro did you

see him put his corporate alex voice on i said he uses to fuck all these white girls i know you're not on a boat no more dog relax you know how we're a life preserver you guys have what is this shirt go to the wide so we can see your shirt out can you just let everybody see it i don't know bro it should look like it goes around Miss Cleo's head so she can make psychic predictions. I predict some white aborted babies this weekend. You know what I'm saying? It's not you.

It's not you. It could be anybody, yo. For real, though. No, tell us. Keep up your bullshit. Keep up your bullshit. Go. You know how.

The fucking shirt. I hate his shirt so goddamn much. Go, go. I'm not going to lie. I did love it when I first saw it. I hate this right now goddamn much. I'm not gonna lie. I did love it when I first saw it. I hate this right now. This fits him great.

This shit fits him great. But it's not fun to say that. It's fun to say you look like a vase. I'm spitting right now. Son, but this shit fits him great. The coloring is fantastic. I mean, it's summer appropriate.

It goes with the rolly, the little purple in the shirt. There we go. Yeah. Thank you. Mark wants to get in. Mark wants to get in. I just never see someone sweat from being in the spin cycle. Actual drip drops on my forehead.

It's crazy. It's okay. Okay. Go. How are you saying this go okay so you know how you guys have while you talk I'm just thinking of things to make fun of you you guys have women in your lives that you cherish yeah yes and they would love

that shirt and you choose to hide their identity on your social media I'll be honest right now my girl's black exactly and you don't show her because you're protecting her and I their identity on your social media. I'll be honest, right now, my girl's black. Exactly. And you don't show her because you're protecting her. And I protected all the black women that are on the boat. That's why you don't see them in the photos.

Bang! Ooh, that was hard. I don't care if you give me silence. I don't care if that was hard. First of all, I just want to clarify in case my girl's listening. I know you're not black, babe. But you got that wagon! But Al, Al, I think that you- All he was thinking about was insults and I got to apologize to my girl.

He didn't hear a word you said. No, he didn't. Yo, that reasoning was lost, yo. It didn't hit anybody. I really just thought that y'all were going to laugh at me saying my girl's black. But y'all went with it. You're like, oh no, he's really trying to hide her identity. They've seen her on Wow with Wasabi.

No, no. They've seen her on a dog Instagram. All right. So you're not hiding the black girls. No. No, we protecting them. No, you're not. Yeah, I think you protect the white girls too.

Nah, not really. I think you do. Nah, not really. I think you do. I think you do. But like really, what is race? Here we go, Al. Don't listen to Mark, Al.

So what is race? Don't listen to Mark. Don't listen to Mark, Al. So what is race? Don't listen to Mark. It's a social construct. You know what? Actually, let me not be judgmental. I was designed by the man to divide us up. Now, let me not be judgmental. Why are we going to do this?

Let me not be judgmental here. I was giving Al some tips before. You're letting the man divide us? Who's the man? You know what? I agree with you, Al. That's a great point that you're making because all lives do matter. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I was like, you're fucking yourself with you, Al. That's a great point that you're making because all lives do matter. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I was like, you fucking yourself with this, Al. Is that what you're trying to say? That all lives matter? I'm just saying when somebody cuts this clip of you saying that. I understand. What Alex Media is saying is that all lives matter when it comes to women. Wow. Do all lives matter when it comes to women? How. Do all lives matter when it comes to women?

How you going to say that, son? Al, do they? Nah, there's a hierarchy. There's a hierarchy of lives. Why would you go that direction? Yeah, son, this guy is lost right now. He's fucking lost. Let me tell you something.

When you're spinning, it's hard to find directions. It's hard, son. There ain't no compass in that motherfucker. You don't know which way's up, which way's down, bro. Like your fucking shirt, bro. Dude, how'd you find a way to put that on? That was weak, son. It was weak, you're right.

Dude, I was on a roll, bro. Yeah, you were. All right, anyway, go on. Okay. So, Chicago. Oh, shit. All right, for real though, Al. In all seriousness seriousness we need to protect women that's true that's a very true statement we do need to protect women yes okay um i think it's it

breaks my heart that you cannot admit that you just have an affinity for white ladies it's not true you don't like white women at all i like all women that's you know who says that i just say that guys who like white women yo you know what's interesting is if you're black and you like white women you gotta be like i love all women yeah if you're black you love black women you just go i love black women yeah and then like mad repos yeah that is interesting you have to admit you love all you can't just be'all like white women yeah yo yo that's the case i would say watch this watch this no no no but you know my you've met girl come on i mean yeah look here's what i'm saying is yo yo you cannot this is actually interesting you cannot nobody

can admit that they like white women nobody can say you know what i just like white women. Nobody can say, you know what? I just like white women. You can say, I love Latinas. You can say, I love Asian chicks. You can say, I love black women. If anybody goes, I love white women.

If you're black, you're a sellout. If you're white, they're like, yo, you're racist. If you're Indian, you're a sellout. If you're Asian,

you're a sellout. If you're Asian, you're a sellout. Isn't that interesting? White women are not allowed to be loved. That's fucked up. For the same reason you can't have white pride.

For the same reason, well, why white people can't have white pride, but why other people can't have white pride, that wouldn't make any sense. Now, here's the thing. You can't have white pride. That's a different discussion. What if you say it's a fetish? That's a different discussion because white isn't a culture, so to say. You can have Italian pride. You can have Polish pride.

You can have Russian pride. Nobody would push back on that. But pride, you can have Russian pride. Nobody would push back on that. But you could say you like Russian women. I think if you're like, yo, I only like Russian women. I don't think people would be pushed back.

I think it's still weird. No, but it's less weird. He brings up a good point. It's less weird. What if he presented as a fetish? It's still a little weird, but oh, it's a fetish.

It's a thing he's into. So white women got to be a kink. Yes, yes. I said kink. Yes. Not like my other fetish. Oh, boy.

No, seriously, that's interesting. So if white women are your fetish, would you allow an Indian guy to say, I have a white woman fetish? I feel like you'd be like okay whatever all right that's a little i guess that's his thing yeah i mean i feet who am i to judge you know what i mean like that's everybody got a fetish his fetish happens to be white women also now that you said the thing about feet interesting thing to point out

apparently the sexual receptors in your brain are located right next to this shit already it's still yeah you're saying it like you just learned it. You brought it up two weeks ago. If I keep saying it, y'all will believe it. If I keep saying it, everyone will believe it, and everybody will... Can I get through it? Cosign. Can I just say it?

Cosign, I swear to you, I heard this in my MCAT class from... We had like a... Swear to God. We had a med school teacher, and i wasn't open about the fact that i like feet but it made me feel very comfortable at the time i was like oh okay word it's not completely weird she said this exact thing what do you mean she said this exact she said whatever the the receptors in the brain would you like me to finish yeah finish it okay so the receptors your brain is mapped your physiology is mapped in your brain

okay that's why like you know you can poke certain parts of the brain you feel them on different parts of your body and that's right next to the sexual pleasure center is right next to the feet one and sometimes they get a little bit mixed it actually means you're evolved did you know that why does it mean you're evolved? You fucking amphibians. Don't call me an amphibian. I am. I'm one step ahead of you. No.

Why does it mean you're more evolved? It's because your brain is being squished. That means it's so big. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Your brain. Wait. Your brain.

Your brain. Listen, your skull is only as big as your skull is. You probably didn't know that. Your brain. Listen, your skull is only as big as your skull is. You probably didn't know that. Fucking retard. Finneas Gage over here. Okay, right? So look, right? Your skull is only as big as your skull is.

Your brain was like, oh, I'm just going to be this big. But then you got so smart that it decided to grow even within your skull. And then it mashed the pleasure sensor and the feet sensor together. Now you have a foot fetish. Maybe Al got the biggest brain because the white girl's center is probably way back here. That's not Al's brain. It's probably fucking enormous. Bro, that's true, dude. Do you think black people have the biggest brains why are you laughing so hard at that because they all like white women no no not the fact

i was like yo that's fucked up that's a fucked up thing no but do you think black people have the biggest brains like because they got the biggest a lot of things i know i'm thinking because there's not even like room for their hair to be straight. Right? It's all squished up and then it comes out so curly. Because there's so much brain. There's so much brain. Yo, y'all might have the biggest brains, bro.

That's a big brain thing of you to say, son. You think? You have to have a certain size brain? You're approaching my level of brains. Oh, shit, bro. Damn, dude. Got it, dude. size my level of brain of brains oh shit bro damn dude got it dude who has the biggest brains of black people though if black people have the biggest brains oh it's got to be eastern africans with those big fucking heads of theirs right it literally literally pushes the forehead out like that yeah it goes forward a little bit they have to have the biggest brains there's no way It literally pushes the forehead out like that.

It goes forward a little bit. They have to have the biggest brains. There's no way. What else is in there? Why do you keep poking that? What else is in there? It's got to be something, right? You ever gently press your fist? Imagine using that big brains just run for a long time.

Giant fucking brain, dude. All that brain power. Huge. Huge. And it's just like marathon. That's it. Son. What?

Yo, isn't that crazy that Nipsey was of Ethiopian, no, Eritrean descent. Okay. Right? Yep. What are they good at? Running? Marathons. What is Nipsey saying?

Oh, shit. The marathon doesn't stop. The marathon continues, bro. I thought it was Kenyans that are good at marathons. Probably. Okay, word. I'm just trying to make it connect. I got you. That's a good point. I don't think Ethiopians are good at it. Are they good at it? I don't know. I don't think so. Eritreans? Somalis?

Y'all good at running marathons? What are Eritreans good at? What's their thing? Oh, God. I think making hookah spots in D.C. I'm pretty sure that is the Eritrean specialty. Or giving you attitude as the parking lot attendant in L.A. Do they run that?

An Eritrean told me that. The ones that always give you the fucking eyes whenever they give you their change. Just like, you ain't shit, Eritrean told me that. The ones that always give you the fucking eyes whenever they give you their change, just like, you ain't shit, Eritrean. Really? Interesting. Why do you think that is? I don't know.

It's weird how people fall into certain professions, I guess. It's just like, they're just referring each other to the parking lot attendant job. You want to know something interesting? Yeah. Remember when that video came out of Nipsey slapping that dude at the BET Awards? Yeah. Who did he slap? Oh, shit. It was a parking attendant. Parking attendant. He probably wasn't doing his job right. Nipsey slapping that dude at the BET Awards? Yeah. Who did he slap? Oh, shit.

It was a parking attendant. Parking attendant. He probably wasn't doing his job right. Nipsey's Eri Tree, and he knows. He's like, you're not going Eri Tree and me. Back up.

All right, what's up, you big brain bastard? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think, Al? Yo, how many of our, how many of our, like our white supremacist Akash haters are listening right now? And the second we said that, they're like, they jumped the shark.

You know, we got them white supremacists that want to kill Akash. They're listening, waiting to see if they can cancel you off some shit. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second. Listen, it's very important during these times that you maintain a hard dick i know that relationships can be stressful and i know that uh one stress reliever especially for um the ladies oh yeah you got you gotta deliver dick it is you gotta walk the dog you gotta walk the dog you have to walk the dog it is true and it's more than just sex it's like feeling validated feeling love feeling desire yes quality time it's quality time it's put on the leash jesus christ so akash uh and i are recommending that you do it with the hardest

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Get your dick hard. Deliver the night or weekend of your life to your lady and ladies. If you're listening right now and your man isn't delivering the goods as much as he should, take it easy on him. It's a tough time on all of us this quarantine. But talk about that chew and get your ass chewed out. Let's get back to the show. Yo, when we were writing one of these pieces,

and then Mark's little fucking junior ass over here, 23 years old. He goes, he goes, dumbass. Okay. So he goes, so Mark goes, he goes, I don't know. Like sometimes like if you're old, you know, if you're like your 30s, you're like 40 or something like that. You're like 40 years old. That's old.

Can you do the same things at 40 years old? He's like trashing 40 years old. Meanwhile, our boy Ben Uyeda is just sitting on the couch all 41 years of age. Mark realizes it like halfway through. And then he just starts going, yeah, or like even older or something. 50s or even 60s, 40s, a new 30. Ben texted me on the side about that. No.

He did. He was like, yo, that's fucked up. Like I helped Mark so much with all these different things. We had to give him so much time. I talked to him. He's just calling me fucking old. I mean, that's an old man ass response i helped him yo remember y'all y'all want to listen to patreon so on the patreon right i think it was patreon when i turned into old man yeah right

on the patreon i was old man oh yeah we're talking about like shows and like responsibility to people so i went full man right we're writing this piece i go out to the balcony because i just need to fresh some fresh air we've been here for fucking 12 hours straight right i go out and i look up from the balcony and i see the water tower right and i see on the water tower doing graffiti art on- You can hear the disgust. Doing graffiti art on our building that we rent. Okay. I was in a pickle.

Are you getting older or just whiter? Son, I think it's both. I think when everyone gets older, they just kind of like fall into that like white responsibility shit. Like I was turning into a Karen. I also think you're getting too much money. I didn't tell you this part. Oh, no.

So. Oh, wow. Oh, no. You told me a lot. I go, so. Oh, no. I'm on the balcony and then the water tower is up there. Oh, my. You told me a lie. I go, so, I'm on the balcony, and then the water tower's up there. Oh, my God. Right?

So, I know, I'm not going to just go, I'm not just going to go, excuse me, do you have permission to graffiti our water tower? I can't do that. But I'm so enraged that somebody could sneak into the building and feel like they could graffiti up something that wasn't theirs at all. Like it just fucking pissed me off. And they were like all cavalier about it. So I hid so that they couldn't see me.

Right? I hid on the side so they couldn't see me and started going like this. Woo! Oh my God. Go away, go away. Woo! but i really just sound like a fucking tranny on rupaul's track but i wanted them fucking down why am i alone in this so then what does he do? He films the guy. I filmed him.

On his phone. Oh my God, dog. Comes downstairs. This makes my stomach hurt. Comes downstairs in a huff. He like kicks over the door. He's like, you guys will not believe what I saw on the roof. You would not believe it.

Of this building. You would not believe it. Call the police. Call the paddy wagon. We're going to get this man thrown in the big house. He should be. Who gave him permission? Oh man, Drew. He just snuck in the building.

Come on, son. Come on, son. Did you guys see the graffiti? I bet it looks fire. No, this shit is trash. It's sick. It's trash. It's block letters.

It says Triumph for something stupid. It's not even art. Yeah, which is what he did over you, bro. He probably likes some old-fashioned-ass graffiti. I don't like any of it. Stay out of my neighborhood. Yo, for real? I'm not going to lie, bro.

After that, I just watched videos of people kicking Antifa out of the suburbs. Like the suburb community all united and they started beating up Antifa and getting them out of there. I do have a fundamental problem with graffiti. I love it. fundamental problem with graffiti. I love it. Here's the thing. Have you ever had it done on your property? I don't own property.

But you did when you were a child. Yeah. Did anybody graffiti your house? No. That'd be weird. Does it happen where you guys are? Huh? No, it's just like the suburb.

Like, who's going to go to the suburbs and graffiti a fucking house in a neighborhood? Who goes to a water tower in Brooklyn? But I honestly think of this shit. Have you seen this neighborhood? I don't look up. It's gay. Are you fucking serious? It's gay, dude.

It's gay, dude. If you look up, it's gay, bro. Looking up is gay. Yeah, it could be raining and you're just like, oh, you know. In all seriousness, dude. But he also has to keep an eye out

for hooligans on the streets. I'd be looking at these guys, bro. Committing misdemeanors. Let me be honest with you. I've been this way my whole life. No, you haven't. Let me tell you. I don't even know if you can say what you anymore.

I know. I think you gotta say, I must be honest with you. I must be honest with you. With you. Thank you. When I was younger, they would graffiti our building. That shit would drive me fucking crazy, bro. I see my parents working fucking hard as hell.

These 14-hour days and shit like that. And my dad got to come home 14-hour day with Windex and shit, rubbing down some teenager, this little brat. And sometimes the worst thing, it's not when they're teenagers, you're like, all right, that's fine.

When you see an adult man adult man doing graffiti I'm with you grow up an adult man the guy looked 35 years old this Latinx

I don't think he looked your age I'm gonna be honest son he looked older than me I don't think so he looked older than me he was doing graffiti I feel like you're adding this detail to make yourself seem less wet

he was grunting as he climbed up the ladder he was grunting it was old man grunting as he climbed up the ladder. He was grunting. It was old man grunts as he climbed up the ladder to get there. It drove me fucking crazy. The old Andrew, I know how to handle this himself. I don't know this guy. I saw this guy.

This is the same guy who dressed up a Banksy painting two years ago. Yep. And Banksy got famous off doing graffiti art. Wow. No, he didn't dress up as Banksy painting two years ago. Yep. And Banksy got famous off doing graffiti art. Wow. No, he didn't dress up as Banksy. He dressed up as the graffiti. I dressed up as the graffiti. It wasn't graffiti.

Notice what I did. Oh. Notice what I did. Oh, why? It's art because a white guy did it? Yeah. First of all, it's art because a white guy did it? Don't even get into how much I hate art.

Wait, is that not yours? You don't want to even get into that. Enough to be a costume of it. Listen. Shit. What I was was the picture that went through the shredder. He did not do that graffiti. He did not do any sort of defaming of public property.

I think Banksy sucks. I think he's an idiot, and I think he's annoying, and I think anybody who likes it is just fluffing up this bullshit prophecy. What does he really do? I agree Banksy sucks. The world is bad. Oh, look look a little balloon is going away oh he's a fucking genius there's wars how did he figure out there's wars oh my god there's missiles blowing up there banksy knows everything missiles this guy sucks this guy he fucking blows this dude is the most overrated artist in the history of art i actually agree marketing ploy i agree i don't know what the big fucking

deal is you don't see his face that's why we're all freaking out here's my question to alex he's ugly was he saying this two years ago no no no No, no, no. I never sweated Banksy. Oh, stop. Wait, wait. Stop collaborating. No, no. If you don't think I'm keeping the same energy. You're not. I'm about to prove it.

And let me prove it back. Let me prove it back. Let me prove it back. Okay. An Immortal Technique episode of Brilliant Idiots. What did we argue about for half an hour? I don't remember. Graffiti.

Okay. Anybody listening right now that knows Brilliant brilliant idiots knows exactly that episode because people are upset at me about that don't care okay so we might have to cut this out one of the first things you said when moving to the studio yo don't you see all the dope art oh around the walls wow this neighborhood see that's a body shot son i can see that hurt him i can see that's a body shot. Son. I can see that hurt him. I can see that hurt him. Son, you were saying how dope that was. I can't wait to bring people

to this area. Yeah. He's acting like he's not hurt. You know when a boxer smiles after he gets punched hard? Oh, yeah. That's exactly what that was. That's what just happened.

That changed when I started paying rent. All that went out the window. I started walking down the street and i'm like what's up with this shenanigans the neighborhood has gone down the drain this neighborhood has gone down the drain this neighborhood has gone hey hey hey you know what sometimes graffiti's all right Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Every once in a while, graffiti be kind of fire, bro. Hey, let's think about it, bro.

Hey, who's got the wettest pussy, bro? Whatever, dog. You know what I'm saying? This motherfucker. Nah. You know what it really is? Yeah. You spun him back, yo.

That was a good, hey, you landed a good shot. Bang. That was a good shot right there. You did land a good shot. Bang. That was a good shot right there. You did land a good shot, motherfucker. That is true. I did think it made the neighborhood look cool. When I was a voyeur in said neighborhood. But I do feel for the person that like,

purchases a property and like, has to put their life savings up for it, and someone comes and ruins it with their stupid name. Yeah, but that doesn't actually really affect the property. Let me ask one question before you make that great point one question before you make that great point i have a distinction okay you ready for the distinction it's more cap no no no this is actually the distinction i don't like graffiti on private property. I don't like it.

That being said, if you do your name as graffiti, fuck you. That sucks. If you do some piece of art that sucks already because it's art, but if it looks cool, that's fine. I support it. Just your name,

all ego, all look at me. It's the same thing. It's the difference between rioting and looting. Right? It's the difference between rioting and looting.

Looting is all for you. You're taking advantage of this struggle. You're taking advantage of this situation and you're benefiting for yourself. You don't really care

what's going on. Rioting, I understand. You're pushing back against some sort of tyrannical regime. Do you know what I'm saying? So when it comes to graffiti,

when it comes to graffiti... What the fuck is happening right now? What the fuck is going on? Take a sip of water, bro. No, no, no. I can't handle a stand-up comic saying I just hate when someone wants all the credit, particularly the guy whose fucking motto in life is,

I just want my credit. That's all I want. I just want want my credit that's all i want i just want my credit that's all i want hey listen i have i have a modification when i said do you have a distinction listen if i went up and did stand-up comedy i was like yo round right if i said this if i said this if i was like yo you ready here's funny things about my name. Did y'all get my name? Hey, here's my name. Hey, my name. I'm Andrew Schultz. Hey, here's Andrew Schultz.

Andrew Schultz. Andrew Schultz. They'd be like, hi, we get it. Your name's Andrew Schultz. If I did some jokes, and then at the end of the jokes, I was like, hey, guys, I'm Andrew. Thank you very much. That's the difference between putting a beautiful art piece, and then you write your little Van Gogh at the bottom.

Van Gogh didn't just write Van Gogh. Matter of fact, he did a self-portrait. He did? Just about to say that. Yo, thank God, yo, because I was like, that's a good point. I had nothing.

I had nothing, yo. One-eared f***. Took my f***ing point away with his stupid self-portrait. Oh, my God. You flounder of a human being. Oh my God, yo. Fucking piece of shit.

Speaking of looting. Speaking of looting. God damn it. Did we figure out who had the wettest pussy? I think so. It's two to two actually. Can we talk about art for like a little quick? I'm with you.

I hate most of it. The vast majority of it. It all sucks. Some of it looks good. Like if it's a painting like of what the fuck of people that looks good. I'm like, oh, that looks good. I can see how they're skill in that. Like abstract art.

I'm looking at nothing. A Jackson Polak painting. This guy. It's just mustard stains. Yeah. I don't get art. It's just spin art. I can just tell if somebody's talented, but it's like, it doesn't speak anything to me.

Can we acknowledge that Banksy does nothing interesting or unique at all? And that's why I would never dress up like one of those paintings. The only reason I liked and I wore that Halloween costume, what I liked about it is it insulted the idiots that like Banksy. i liked about it is it insulted the idiots that like banksy so what the costume was is he was uh i guess not it was either him or somebody had had gotten i think it was him right yeah do you remember exactly what it was i think it was him he had someone i think auction off he auctioned off one of his paintings and whoever won he shredded it so yeah he auctioned off a painting and then right when the person won the auction, there was a trigger mechanism and they started shredding the painting right in front of them.

Right? So he's like, look how fucking stupid you are for liking me. And I agree with that sentiment about him. I think everything he does is super overrated.

And we like it because the art community is like this like, honestly, you know what the art community is? I think it's money laundering. Oh, a big part of it. You said this to me one time.

It made a lot of sense I really think like there's these four or like three galleries in the world that decide who the hot artists are and who the next artists are it's all bullshit right

and I really think what it is is how rich people can keep money right in an appreciating asset without paying taxes on it so I'm going to buy a 25 million dollar painting

it stays as $25 million. It actually goes up. You're right. It goes up. Skyrockets. As long as we have a good connection with those four galleries that keep on saying that this is the thing. Yeah.

You know, Picasso's not going anywhere. These people aren't going anywhere. So my thing goes up in value and I don't got to pay tax never about it. You know what they are? Go. They're kind of like the Fed. They're the Fed. I don't get it yet, but I agree. They dictate monetary

value. They dictate money. This art is worth this much. We can inflate it. We can take it down if we want to. We decide the entire market of this. Kind of like... I don't understand all the ins and outs of the Feds because I'm not watching a boring-ass documentary. They're dictating the value of money by deciding how much money is in circulation. And the Fed and then art people

do that with paint. Now, here's the thing. At least money you could buy shit. This painting is absolutely worthless once we decide it's worthless now i know you guys could look at me and go well once we decide money's worthless it's worthless too and once we decide gold is worthless it's worthless too yes i get it i understand what you're saying at the end of the day i could find someone who's gonna take an american dollar bill i could find it and i i agree with you i might if i have a fucking picasso painting and i need a bottle of water and i'm in a neighborhood where they don't give a fuck about picasso i can't get no bottle of water yeah but they can sell it at an auction what if i need the bottle of water now

now you gotta organize it organize an auction call it fucking sotheby's do all this shit if you need shit to go now it's an asset like a house that you buy though it's an asset like a house an asset but this is what i can do in a house i can sleep in a house i can have shelter if i need in the house literally what it is it's a made-up currency that i think rich people use to exchange wealth and then the rest of us in order to seem like we're rich to compensate for the fact that we're not we act like it has value it's like wine i've never tasted that good wine it's all the the fucking same. And then if you drink it enough, maybe you're like, okay, this one is moderately better

than this other one. But it's one of these bullshit. It's a bullshit. Yeah, like what is it called? A sommelier is just fucking Sotheby's or whatever. It's just the art dealer. Bro, I thought you were talking about the marathoners. But yeah, a wine sommelier you're talking about.

Yes, exactly. It is, granted, you might know, oh, it has beans in it. Oh, this has a little hint of pepper and this other shit. But you're talking about. Yes, exactly. It is, granted, you might know, oh, it has beans in it. Oh, this has a little hint of pepper and this, all this shit. But you're making up this culture around this thing to create value within you and your friend group. But that's everything. 100%. But it's exaggerated.

Like comedy, we can split hairs and say, oh, this comedian is better because this. And we believe that and we're right. But the average person's like, I don't give a fuck. And if the average person was like, I'm going to pay a million dollars to go see this comedian you'd be like you're a fucking retard yeah nobody's that good and also a thousand dollar bottles of wine that's insane you can still i don't think i'm better than you because i like this comedian and it doesn't make me better than you culturally because i like a specific comedian that exists on a smaller level nothing like without art's a whole culture there's no elitist classes thing going on with like this specific,

like if I like Patrice O'Neill and you don't, I'm like, oh, you are lower class because, and then, and then if you don't get Patrice O'Neill, I don't go, oh,

you do not get such thing. Now this does happen with some art, usually the unfunny people. Yeah. Right. There is that like, oh, you have to be sophisticated to get this thing.

But again, these are people creating these cultural structures as oppressing tools to be honest they're like feeding themselves right they're like look how elite we are look at our cool little group we understand things like wine and we understand things like art both those things you made up it's absolute bullshit at the end of the day what is wine and art going to do when i punch you in your fucking if your culture is monetizable it's probably not real culture if If my culture is an asset, it's a bottle of wine

and that's how I prove I'm cultured. Oh, I prove I'm cultured because I have this painting that's worth $10 million. That's not culture. You're not cultured for being into that. I feel you.

And I've thought about this a lot because I had a bit about how I don't believe in art, period. Yes. And now I'm like, okay, I've been to the Van Gogh Museum. I see that's a beautiful painting and I'm like, I look at that

and I'm like, yeah, this is beautiful. Yes. But I'm sure there are other paintings that are just as beautiful that people don't give a fuck about and decided was useless. These powers that be or whatever, they're like,

oh, this painting sucks. And I'm sure there's beautiful paintings like that. But that's the way everything garners value if enough people think that that thing is good. Exactly. What you're saying is right. Once those people die

and you can't make, that person can't make more of it, then those things start going up in value because there's less and less of them once people buy now what you're saying is 100 correct right and in order to preserve that value the people that don't like that thing are considered um less than poor lower class undesirable and that's how you preserve the value right so ignorant exactly right uncouth is that is that a term sometimes right so it's like hey this is top shelf art and then akash and i walk in and we're like that just looks like splatter oh you don't understand this guy doesn't get it right because if you actually listen to what i said and akash said

and 99 all the other people that are like, nah, that's just splatter. Yeah. Then the people that were going to buy it for five million are like, oh shit, that's just splatter, dog.

Jackson Pollock is just splatter. Look up his paintings, you feel nothing. You go to the fucking art museum in New York, the modern art, there's literally one that's just light bulbs.

Swear to God, different color light bulbs and people are staring at it like it's something. So that's the thing. That's why I, and I agree with you in terms of I think most art is bullshit because i just don't get it

there's some people that claim they get it or maybe they're just trying to pretend that they get it so they fit in that culture and shit like that but classical music for example people rave about classical music and yeah it sounds cool but it's like i'm not gonna pay thousands of dollars to go see a symphony perform that type of music but to certain people they feel something when they're sitting there feeling and listening to and i can believe that i also believe what we're saying which is they in all forms of art there is a kind of little classism that forms amongst certain people who want to pretend to be elite and they're like this comic or this music oh you don't get it you know it's fine it's not for you you don't get it i get it because i'm more evolved or whatever the fuck

more more class high class but But I think with actual art, it's so exaggerated, so blown out of proportion. There is an entire culture, the entire purpose of it seems to be classist. Is it different or is that the same as designer clothes? Dude, sneakers, designer clothes is no different. It just operates on a lower level in the supposed hierarchy scale, right?

The supposed hierarchy scale is absolutely bullshit, right right but the idea that we could look at someone who doesn't care about their sneakers they have stupid sneakers on and then we could think less of them that's what people are doing when someone orders a shitty bottle of wine or when someone doesn't understand the fancy art right you know it's even stupid we've created sorry sorry we've created this system where we're like okay the highest sneaker is an off-white jordan or the highest sneaker is this this at the other right and then there's a rejection of that which is often a return to the mean well maybe not even mean it's like the opposite of the lowest end of the spectrum right which is like i'm gonna wear the most beat up uncool rebox yeah as a

rejection of the coolest cleanest off-whites, right? But they're both effectively doing the same thing. How can I separate myself from the mainstream in order to create value? But it's a perceived fake create value. That's why I won't wear a single sneaker that I don't like the way it looks. I have to like the way it looks. And if it just so happens that it's made by fucking Virgil, or if it's just an old Jordan or something like that, okay, I have to pay a little bit more for that thing

because it has this value we all share. But I refuse to just put some fucking thing on because some people decided Virgil is good at designing shit. He can make dog shit too. And to that point,

Mark was saying, that was like, oh, it's the exact same. Here's where it's even crazier with fashion. There can be some shit that we've all decided is whack and then one or two people

decide it's hot and it goes from being a cheap piece of shit clothing brand like champion to being designer clothes that you can't find anywhere car the prices have doubled carhartt perfect example so it's like they'll literally they'll try to like siphon off value from these established companies that are rejections of the mainstream thing yeah so uh champion or Russell Athletic or these things that were like you find in Models that anybody could buy are now, oh, why don't we do a collab with that and then it'll become cool because we're doing this thing that's not cool and now I'm going to add my value to it.

Again, yeah, everything is perceived value. Yeah. And I just want to put a button on it because it started with Banksy and so I do that. You hear that? Button on it? Fashion. Oh, shit. You didn't even know you did that. I did. I did. Why don I do that. You hear that? Button on it. Fashion. Oh, shit. You didn't even know

you did that. I do. I do. Why don't you put a button on that shirt? It's like a fucking chest hair. As long as the dress is Cardi B's tattoo.

See? 0 for 2 right there. No, that was good. That was good. That was fire, son. That was good. But no, with Banksy, yeah, I do think

his art is stupid. I just like the way he's garnered attention because I kind of – I like his antics. Yeah, I got the antics. He's the Tekashi of art. Boom. That's just what I was saying.

That's well said. Let me clarify. The antics are phenomenal. Yeah. I love the mystique he's built. I respect the mystique. I love it. The art is trash, and that's what enrages me about it because i see these

people that care so much about the art and i'm like do y'all not realize you care about the mystique is it that is it that not is it not that obvious to y'all the art is basic they act like he's some genius he literally takes the simplest headline you'd see on cnn and then adds it to a half existing thing that's on a wall if there's like in a fireplace right he'll like put something on top of the fireplace son it's a bitch holding the balloon right we're going crazy over he'll like use what already exists within the city so if there's like a crack in a wall then he'll put like palestine and israel on once and then israel on one side palestine the other side be like look there's a division and people like oh my god how do you

figure out there's conflict come on bro another interesting thing about the art shit is that there's evidence to believe the cia actually intentionally pushed modern art as a uh culture war against russia during the cold war so to your point there's a certain level of like oh modern art is bullshit and the cia was intentionally propping it up and and how does it help how does that help the united states according to russia would never let that bullshit fly according to the independent article they said that the cia was supporting artists like motherwell pollock and rothko because in the propaganda war with the soviet union the artistic movement could be held as proof of the creativity the intellectual freedom and the cultural power of the u.s

right so in the midst of like a cold war where you're actually not, you know, murdering each other and killing each other, you actually have to win the culture war. Right. Which is who makes the coolest movies, who makes the best music, who goes to the moon first, like all the influence. Yeah. You gotta get the most followers. Real talk?

That's really what it is. That's a great way of looking at it. Before social media, countries were the page. And you had to make everybody want to be like your page. You had to be the Kardashians. Yeah. Every other country got to want to look like you, dress like you, do all that kind of stuff. Oh, that's perfect.

So the CIA is like, let's pump money into these specific art programs or this specific style because it's uniquely American. Yeah. Russian artists were strapped into the communist ideological straitjacket at the time. And so then you have this art movement that's kind of like budding and then in the nascent stages of it the cia like pumped money and like created these art shows through like proxy foundation and they're so different it's so different than the classic soviet and the idea of look what you're free to experiment with exactly the freedom america for no rigidity here do whatever you want yeah yeah

yeah you can be a millionaire by throwing fucking dots on a wall. Yeah. Who wouldn't want to move to America? Yeah. It really idealized the American philosophy at the time, according to the CIA, which is why they pushed it. Interesting. Interesting.

Okay. Have we convinced you guys that art is dumb? All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second. Listen. Get your essentials. I don't know how many times we talk about this on this podcast, but why would you ever make your life more difficult?

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You're spilling mustard all over your shirt. You need to get another shirt. Make sure you're treating yourself right. Yeah, absolutely. Another thing that they got that I think is fire is they have this loyalty program. Like I said, this is going to be your essentials, right? This is what you're going to do. You're just going to keep on re-upping whenever you need to re-up, right?

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How could you not do this? It's better and cheaper. Better, cheaper. What else do you need? Okay, so make sure you go to MackWeldon.com slash flagrant enter the promo code flagrant that's 20 off your first order we got your back as always let's get back to the show talking about more dumb shit um uh dude this matrix co-creator confirms that the story is a trans allegory so

the Wachowski brothers I think they're named or now the Wachowski sisters now they're the sisters right but when they made the film I believe they were the brothers and

unbelievable filmmakers so fucking first Matrix is one of the best movies in my lifetime and so unique oh yeah like so many jokes

now exist because of the Matrix like the slow moving thing like all these things that all the ways that they've influenced action film yeah all these things have come from the literally the like alt-right angle of like oh you gotta wake up you gotta stop fucking red came from two trans filmmakers unbelievable yeah i mean what do you think they think about that it's still red pilled or is that the pill they take when you find out you slept with a trans person

that's what the pill is you take the pill that you're going to vote for from now on the red one they're these incredibly innovative filmmakers they did this incredibly amazing series I mean the Matrix is one of my favorite trilogies of all time

I think probably my favorite is one of my favorite trilogies of all time. I think, probably my favorite, maybe Lord of the Rings. It's between Matrix and Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings is mad gay. Matrix is fucking unbelievable. And they become, or they always are trans,

they actually transition. Right. So now they're the sisters. Right. Wachowski sisters. I'm fucking up the last name. Wachowski. You're getting sisters, right?

That's the important part. Yeah, sisters what they care about um and now they're saying that the matrix was always an allegory for being trans right which i don't understand how i don't think they fully thought this through which part i'm saying that from what i see what i read it's like you're trapped in between two worlds and then you become who you really are in the matrix or like when you step out of the matrix so i guess that's like when you transition that world sucks it's flavorless it's gray it's drab there's nothing to any of it so if you're really trying to make trans people feel free wouldn't you being free be lit as fuck and not boring and and colorless and fucking food has no taste all of it when you're pretending to be what you're not life is

pretty good yeah you're eating fucking steak and wearing any clothes you want if that's the allegory if the allegory you should never transition yeah i think that's what the point would come across that's right like we would come across as. We all watch the movie The Matrix and we're like, it is way better to be in the blue pill. Yeah. Blue pill is way better. Yeah. Yeah, red pill, you understand what life really is.

But it sucks. You don't want to know what the sausage is made out of. Right? That's why that saying exists. Yeah. I don't want the fucking thing in the back of my head letting me know that I was plugged into some shit. Yeah.

Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. They said that in the movie. But what's interesting is, I wonder if it tracks, and this is something they did retroactively. I wonder if now it's a reflection of how they feel about being trans. Yeah. Right? I wonder.

My take is I think it's complete bullshit. And they're just trying to add it yeah you add just another layer it's like the jk rowling shit yeah you add another layer on top of the movie and now it's like wow well to your point like when they make cartoons gay and shit they're just like oh yeah the cartoon was trans well to your point you know what they announced recently there's a matrix four yeah so this would be good pr for that movie and would get you back in the headlines oh who's who's going to play? Is it going to be Neo or something?

Everybody's back. Word? I don't know if Morpheus is back, but the shorty is back. And Keanu's back. Oh, they said Switch was supposed to be like a representation of trans. You remember the short-haired blonde girl? Yes. They're like kind of playing.

They wouldn't let her fully do it, but they wanted her to be male in the real world and female in The Matrix or vice versa. But then the studio said no studio said no so they kind of like tried to sneak it in there that she's kind of like androgynous a little bit with the short blonde hair and she's like this badass there's not things you would traditionally associate with being a woman right yeah it was yeah exactly definitely more androgynous uh looking character or even acting character there's one thing that i i say about this. They were transitioning while the movies were happening because I think The Matrix happened over almost a decade, right?

There's probably a new movie every two or three years. I believe it was after. No, but I think it was happening during. Like they were starting to transition. Well, they were initially just going to do the one movie and then it was such a fucking smash that they were like, let's make this a trilogy. Interesting.

So my feeling is maybe that wasn't the whole point of the movie yeah but there's no question whether it was inspired by some of the shit that they were feeling yeah yeah and maybe maybe transitioning and becoming a woman when you feel like you're a woman this is interesting makes your life way more difficult like taking the red pill but it's better to be who you are despite the difficulty you feel free you feel free and if that is what they're trying to say if it isn't they should we just killed that if that's what you're trying to say i do understand that because i don't think that anybody would disagree with that regardless how you feel about trans yeah your life is way more difficult as a trans person go through all

this shit you get treated differently of course yeah you might not like the way you look you might not like the way you look you might not like the person that you are as a real as you are in your real self yeah but that freedom is worth it is absolutely worth it apparently who knows we'll see what happens yo this is just quick question androgynous people are they gay androgyny just means they look both yeah you can't tell what gender they look in the gender they were born as oh i i i think androgyny is just about appearance it has nothing to do with the sexual preference characteristic i think like tall or short yeah gay or straight yeah it's just like uh tall short light skin dark skin androgynous is like you see a dude that kind of looks like a chick or a chick looks like dude like a lot of these like models have you noticed lately like sometimes you'll see

like a a female model or even a male model that have like long hair and you're like is that a guy or a girl like there's no muscle tone on the dude at all and uh so the androgyny is just a kind of like look that's in yeah cool all right what else we got kanye oh yeah oh actually um can we come in can we talk about um then there's two things we can do with the kind of thing can we talk about the bubble a little bit oh let's talk about the bubble yo so i'll come, let's talk about the bubble, yo. So I'll come back in on. You got this time? This is, I just put a little ad. Yeah.

All right. All right, man. Let's talk about the bubble. Okay. It's been a minute since there's been some good stories for us to talk about in the sports world. But now I think we got one. There's something very interesting that's happening with the bubble. And I wonder if it's happening to you guys, both in this room and everybody at home listening. I could not give a fuck about the NBA right now. I'm a longtime NBA fan. I was a season ticket holder for the New York Knicks. I'm as invested as you can be in the sport of

basketball. I would play twice a week in leagues. I love basketball. In love with the game. twice a week in leagues. I love basketball. In love with the game. I haven't watched a full NBA game. I could care less about watching it. Now at first I was like, nah, this is probably just because it's not part of my schedule

and I'll get into it, et cetera. That's not true. I watch MMA. Every Saturday almost it seems like there's a fight on and I'll pop in, I'll watch some of the fight. Why the fuck am i not watching the nba right now you know what it is for me are you watching i'm not watching as much whenever i

watch it i enjoy it but this is what i've always noticed about myself with sports i can't do low stakes sports mma always high stakes you're fighting once every few months this is a big fucking deal if i lose this match nba you got these tune-up games that's great for the 9 10 seed and that i'm interested in the 8 9 seed i mean you can get into that playing tournament these guys are fighting for their season everybody else is just tuning up and the highlights are fun as fuck and whenever i see these last second finishes it seems exhilarating the moments i've seen have been fun because it's like it's just the game no other bullshit but i can't do low stakes sports i'm a massive football fan i can't watch two teams with nothing to play for playing for no real i can't give a fuck i need to hit it i think you

hit it i think maybe one thing is the time the games are on they're a lot earlier now and you tend to have, be at studio during the time games and most games are on. That's also true. Oh, fuck. I never even considered we're here.

Because it's like 80 hours a week. I've been noticing when a game is on and I happen to be home, I'll actually watch. Interesting. But it's really just

most of the time we're here. Scheduling. Yeah. So like weekends, like this weekend I was watching a little bit just because I was able to watch. Okay, so scheduling I think is a great point. Stakes I think is another great point. I was watching a little bit just because I was able to watch.

Okay, so scheduling I think is a great point. Stakes I think is another great point. Yeah. I was talking to some of my guys at the NBA and I was like, you guys aren't doing a good enough job of creating stakes. Yeah. They go, what do you mean? I go, this play-in tournament, the average person who's not like a fan fan

doesn't even understand that these games are valuable. You haven't built in. Like I found out that just yesterday, I think when Dame Lillard dropped 50, he kicked the Pelicans and someone else out of the playoffs. I forget. This is how detached I am. So he kicked two teams out of the playoffs with that victory. Why is that not being marketed all over social?

Why is these are high stakes? This is the end of someone's season you're off to cancun yeah you need to let people know and i think what's going on is my assumption is they're like yo once we have sports back on tv everybody's gonna be obsessed they're just gonna watch it we don't need to do nothing we have found other things to take up our time it's not like sports left and there's this gap in our schedule we found other things to fill that gap we're watching a new series we're watching me my girl watching all the james bonds in order of how good they are right there's things that we're going to find to do you got to earn our fucking time again make this interesting with me when you said the thing about mma and how

always have high stakes yeah there is no meaningless fight no every fight matters your life is on the line every fight so i could watch your life is on the line i can't watch guys playing a fucking pickup game basically we watched the mma fight in uh kansas city there was somebody who was literally like man i we we lost our house we're like in between homes we're moving like he needed this to keep his not only are you fighting keep his career alive beat his family like he's crying after he wins just some regular ass undercard match it meant so much to this guy there's so much stakes dame lillard i want to see this motherfucker has put stakes on it he's out here beefing with other players he's fighting for the playoffs like period that's the thing 51 he's going at it even the even putting up 50 and even like the fight i'm like i'm seeing the perfect recipe for an interesting

nba season and i'm just not plugged in like when i see like dame lillard's sister go at paul george and go at patrick beverly online like it was hilarious dame was going on i didn't even see the sister oh yeah the sister got in on it and then like paul george's wife got in on it with this i mean like it's all the hijinks you need for an exciting season but it doesn't have the stakes yet and i was telling my guys i was like when the playoffs hit i'm gonna be in yeah but y'all are fucking up right now and this is actually an important time because this is where we get the ball rolling for the playoffs yeah let me lock into a team my teammate there you know i usually lock in you know why it's even lower stakes and this is i've looked at this as like it's just for them to warm up their bodies

it's like an extended preseason yes seating doesn't really mean shit aside from who you play home court advantage there is no such thing as home court advantage so like the only reason i want the one seed is because it would be an easier eighth seed matchup, maybe. Who do I match up with better? Yeah. That's it. Home court meant something. You wouldn't think it, but then whenever you get to a game seven, home court means a lot of fucking, it means a lot.

Now, it's, yeah, we're all playing in Orlando. The only one that got home court is Austin Rivers. He grew up here. That's it. Yeah. Talking about Austin Rivers, this is really interesting. He dropped crazy. He dropped like 40. about Austin Rivers this is really interesting he dropped crazy

he dropped like 40 was it 37 he dropped he dropped 37 last night I don't know what it was I'm guessing so there's another player also who usually

he doesn't TJ Warren there's a few guys that are playing exceptional basketball and I'm sure it's not just them but those are the names he dropped 41 right

so TJ Warren's been balling out of his ass and I'm like why is it that certain players are all of a sudden hooping I'm trying to figure that out too I think I have an idea I think there are two things one is going to seem silly but bear with me yes I understand these guys are professionals and it shouldn't matter at this level but bear with me I think the fact that they're playing on a court that just has a black background that's pretty close to where the backboard is helps shooters if you're a shooter and you're shooting

at a glass backboard when there's an entire arena behind it it can throw off your depth perception a bit like whenever i play in big open gym remember we go like the basketball city of that shit down there to play like i hate shooting in those gyms there's just so much more room it's hard to like calculate everything when you're playing in like the half court somewhere that has like a wall behind it or there's something else or even like the non-glass back i know this sounds so silly but i do think it helps shooters i bet if they calculate shooting percentages, I bet you players are shooting better at a higher percentage now

because of the background in which they're shooting against. That's number one. Number two, I think the players that get nervous because of the fans. I was just thinking that. Yeah, I think the players get nervous because of the fans. They get caught up in the hoopla. They are thrown off by people booing them or thrown off by massive cheers, and their assholes get tight.

I think those players are having the time of their fucking lives. It's just open gym. It's open gym. The black background I don't buy into as much because you play 82 games a year. So you play with that all the time. You're playing, what, once a week at open gym? Yeah, yeah. If you played 82 times a year, I think you'd be like, all right, I'm going to do this. These are the best shooters in the time. Like if you, you're playing what, once a week at an open gym? Yeah, yeah. If you play it 82 times a year,

I think you'd be like, all right, I'm gonna do this. These are the best shooters in the world. I know it sounds silly, but there's something about like, you know when you're at like a high school gym,

you're at like the practice facility, a lot of these practice facilities. It's just like back, backboard, and then a couple more feet, and then there's the wall with like those blue padding. Yeah.

I just think there's something about depth perception that plays into it. Who knows? I can believe confidence. I can believe getting out of my head because it's like, ah, this is just an open gym. It's just a run.

Right. No big deal. Let's go. Right. I can believe that. And maybe TJ Warren kills it in practice. I'd be interested to know if he's like Pacers practice normally, he's just tearing it up and then games he tightened up a bit.

Maybe. Because I can see your depth thing because most of the time the practice facilities are at smaller gyms. Exactly. So if you're practicing shots in a gym that size yo that's another thing nobody practices shooting in the arena yeah you always practice on something with a closed backboard back we're close to a straight back wall yeah you don't shoot into the void like you do in arenas because a practice facility can't be on the same place sometimes you got a hockey team playing there.

You've got the fucking circus in town. There's tons of other things. I know it sounds absurd, but I do think that there's an advantage to it. And I think the fact that there are no fans there that could be booing or even getting you hyped up or even creating those situations where your anxiety could affect your play. That, again, I believe. I was also thinking, like, I'm sure these AAU tournaments got not crazy numbers got not crazy numbers not thousands of people but like you're used to playing where you're shooting

and you're just seeing people behind you maybe it's a much smaller thing but they've been doing this for decades i see at this point so but i can definitely believe yo it's just i'm free here there's no people fucking booing like you said there's no lights it's just open and it's interesting because who knows how long we'll be in this. The election could come around and all of a sudden Corona could just go away because that's how things happen often times. But if Corona is around for the next few years and this is what basketball looks like, you could see some stars come out of the bubble

that would never have made real money playing basketball. A TJ Warren could get a massive contract because he's a bubble star. Them take him out the bubble, it could be tough. Right. Or, he kills it in the bubble and then builds that confidence.

That's what I was thinking too. You get so confident in the bubble. You're like, I can't play this level. I can do this. Who gives a fuck what the fans are doing?

I'm going at LeBron every night. I'm going at Devin Booker. I'm going at all these guys. I'm putting up buckets. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah, it is interesting.

All right, guys. Look, we got to shout out Radix, man man if y'all are new to this podcast radix remedies is our cbd sponsor that is our partner i actually would say it's not just a sponsor it's our partner that is the cbd of the asshole army radix remedies you can go to radix remedies.com and get them let me tell you why they're the most fire because they offer the most variety. I'm talking about the pre-rolled joints, right? This is audio right now, so you're not even going to see what I was about to show you because I got the joints on the set, but they're the ones on the set. The pre-rolls, smoke them down with your friends. They got the salve, right?

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you're going to take all the precautions. This shit is going to be safe. Go and have a great fucking night. Get your boys together. Get you and your girls. And also, go in groups. That's another great thing.

Go in groups, man, because then you can all be seated together because as long as it's the same group, they can be seated. So go do that shit. Where can they get tickets? AkashSingh.com?

AkashSingh.com or at the Good Nights website. God bless. Good Nights Comedy Club. Do you need to refrigerate tomato sauce? After it's opened. Like ketchup?

Almond milk might be the same. Nah, ketchup is processed. I don't think ketchup is going to do it. Ketchup's got mad preservatives. You're good. Alright, do you need to refrigerate like

Ooh, eggs. Yeah, you fucking retard. But why? There's a real thing in there. Why do you have to refrigerate it? Because it's a fucking it's a fucking, it's a chicken. It's an organism. It's a thing I get rid of all the time.

It's an embryo. But does it have to be refrigerated? Yes, it's living. Technically, and I know this because I saw it the other day, eggs should be warmer because birds like to sit on the eggs. So they shouldn't be put in a refrigerator wait what birds sit on the eggs yes you guys hear that that's the tides turning right now yeah yeah that's the sound of the tides turning think about that we might be fucking up the flavor of eggs by keeping them cool if we just sat a fake bird on the eggs it'll become a bird what do you think it's heat

that makes it become a bird bro so we put an egg in the oven the chicken just flies out now i gotta be a perfect temperature yo put a temperature up in the oven at 104 leave it overnight you got a full ass rotisserie chicken just because you're dressed like a peacock don't mean you know anything about fucking birds out come on now i know chicken are you kidding me decent counterpoint i think i think the bird egg has to be inseminated by the chicken, by the rooster. And he's bird cum. But the bird cum, how does it, are you ready for the dumbest thing I ever said?

I'm going to, this is so dumb, we're going to cut it off. Can we say it together? This is so dumb, we're going to cut it off. I know exactly what you're about to say. Okay, ready? How do you get the bird cum into the egg? he has a really sharp little dick he just pokes it open but he makes sure not to crack it

you know for real though how do you get it in yeah how it's an embryo already it's an embryo already so that means the sperm got in no it doesn't it did the embryo start without sperm i swear to god google this right now yeah but that's not what fun is it got in already no it didn't it did no it didn't it did

and then the egg is unfertilized before you say it i would like to put a bet down let's put money on it i'm about to google egg is un to Google. Egg is unfertilized. Egg is unfertilized. That's just some shit that just drops like a period. Bop. Boom. Right? And then it can get inseminated within the chicken.

And then that's a different egg. So I told you, dickhead. I'm guessing for the record. I'm guessing. So this is my assumption, right? Rooster bucks off mad different buck jokes we had already in this episode rooster bucks off in that chicken right yeah fertilizes the egg within the chicken yes

then the egg comes out you don't fertilize the egg after it's out al that's what you're saying what if wait hold on did you say that shit like you figured it out i don't what i do i just blew your mind yo what i do all y'all thought the egg got hatched and then the rooster fucked the egg what i do watch what i did i'm like missy elliott no reverse i just taught him how it is. You just repeated what he just said. No, I didn't. Did I? Yeah. No, I didn't.

Because I made it sound less gay and homosexual. Okay, he did. That ain't no fun. You want to talk about having fun? Then we're having fun. No, but for real. Mark, did you figure it out? Wait, wait, wait.

Al thought that you inseminate the egg after it comes out. Admit you thought that. I got a different theory. Admit you thought that. I did think that. Thank you. And I got another theory. Okay, take that. What if the hog? Take that, our gosh. What if the no. Admit you thought that. I got a different theory. Admit you thought that. I did think that and I got another theory. Okay.

What if? Take that. What if the hot? Take that, our gosh. What if the hot? You have to take that because he did it and your explanation,

it was too sophisticated. Yeah. Okay? Al and I, we operate on a different wavelength of shit. Way different. Okay?

I had to make it super, super rudimentary. Yep. You know what I mean? Because when you were talking, I was listening, I didn't understand a single word either. Yeah, she was too super rudimentary. It. You know what I mean? Because when you were talking, I was listening. I didn't understand a single word either.

She was, yeah, she was too supermentary. It was too much biology. Okay. But then, when I put it in terms of... We just speak science. It's different.

Ours is more science than you. Go, Mark. Okay, so you were right initially that the rooster or the cock will have sex with the hen and then fertilize the egg in utero.

Yup. And then it drops out of the cloaca. Yup. And then the egg forms. And then it forms. But if the female is not mating with the male, she'll still lay the egg. Yes, every day. That's what we eat from the grocery store.

Exactly. Wait, wait, wait. What? That's what I said. That's what I said, wait, what? That's what I said. That's what I said, right? I think that's what I said. No, no, no. He just threw

extra sister wishes. Son, stop it. I got... Same word done. What was that last part? Yeah, same word done. All right, so if the woman doesn't mate with the male egg

or with the male chicken, then the egg that comes... Look at Al's face. The hand always is laying eggs. Do you have an angle on yourself so you can get a fucking stupid house pasta just got mad good and shit yeah what was that sucked in his gut real talk i just i don't get that the hand is always laying eggs yeah even when it's not getting fucked yes exactly just that's like a period our was saying that, but he didn't say it right. But then isn't the yolk the embryo?

No. That's what I think it is. It's a period. Every day they have their period. Every day they have their period. So what's the yellow part? What? What's the yellow thing? That's the egg.

That's the fucking- That's the uterine lining. Yeah, that's the ovum. And I think that's like what feeds- What? Again, bro. Come on. What are you doing?

Again, bro. You need to stop it. Yeah. Talking about WNBA teams. The Oklahoma Ovum, isn't that what they're called? So the yellow is just the, you're going with uterine lining. That's what you're going with. I think it's part

of, I think it's part of the uterine lining. I think it's like when a girl's period got little chunks in it. That's the same thing. I bet you it's basically like chicken placenta. Probably. I don't think it's placenta that's part of afterbirth no but that's all part of it that's what's feeding the

thing to live the yolk is the part that gets that turns into a chicken that's the part that gets fertilized by the chicken sperm yes that's the egg all right we figured it out you got it yeah i got it you got it now right that's all but here's another curveball you could eat a fertilized egg as long as it's not fuck up yo real talk though fertilized eggs are fire as long as they're not uh incubated incubated wait what you never had a fertilized egg the hard boiled shit what the thai people they eat like the egg and it has the bird inside i did not know about that. What the fuck just happened? Oh, see?

I'm sorry. I'm cultured. Yeah, your shirt is cultured. Yeah, they got a dish where it's like the egg, it's like a fertilized egg, and it's like they eat like a baby bird, but it's still soft that you can swallow it and you're not eating like a piece of shit like Eric. Oh, yeah, yeah, bro. Asians, y'all gotta figure

out your food, bro. I had enough of this, man. We gotta have a menu. You know how we have, I mean this sincerely. And I think it's Filipino. I mean this sincerely. My bad.

We need, you know how we have rules for the world? Like you can't have, there's no genocide, there's no chemical weapons. There's certain things every country just got to obey. It don't matter what first world, second world, third world.

It doesn't matter how poor you are, how rich you are. You can't do these few things. We need that with food. There's certain food you just can't do. That shit you described. Honestly, you should just do the foods you can do because these fucking Asians are going to eat everything else. They will eat everything. That's true. Asians, they're listening right now please dm us the craziest food that you

know for a fact your family members eat please i really want to know about this and i want to know what the limitations are yes not you heard about a dog festival or whatever the fuck that's what everybody likes to say because they saw that vice video about the dog festival we're not talking about that what is the craziest shit that is regularly eaten don't they have baby can't they eat no you sound wow i think there's baby soup dude i think there's fetus soup okay fetus soup i can see that's what a baby is i thought you meant like you said don't they have this conversation that's the yellow part bro that's what it is it's not a baby don't they have beat fetus you want to call it there no al no no i'm talking about the actual baby soup fetus soup look up fetus soup you really want me look up fetus searches

you can do that i already looked this up let me me see it. Look up fetus soup. All right. What do you want me to... Fetus soup China. Okay. Snopes.com. I didn't say that. Snopes.com from 2001. Yup. Oh, brother had 19 years of starting this shit.

Are human fetuses Taiwan's hottest dish? Okay. According to Snopes, they say that the answer is no. Of course, Snopes. What's the hottest dish? Chicken tikka. Because it could not be the hottest dish i didn't say it was number one i just said it was on the menu and we need to cut that shit out i saw a wild video why what no no i was just saying this is the shit i was talking about yeah

that looks horrifying but we do need to talk yo asian assholes listening right now reach out let's get to the bottom of this okay for real talk to me are we going to talk that asian assholes listening right now reach out let's get to the bottom of this okay for real talk to me are we gonna talk that we have a survivor in the building oh yo mark could have got got man we almost lost mark yo real talk real talk this is serious simon cowell i can't believe we're about to talk about Simon Cowell. That's an odd looking guy. Bro, you saw him after his plastic surgery? He looked like a thumb. Yeah, he's a fucking finger puppet.

Bro, son, don't he look like he's drawn on a finger? Bro, remember those videos we got of the guy on the finger skateboard? Or he's on the finger scooter? That's what his head would look like. If it was a complete finger person bro look at his fucking face what is he yeah i don't know what's going on with that what is his background i need to know what his ethnicity is british all the way through that's straight british dude i don't know bro he looks like arty lang i think you already yeah oh yeah i think we look at british people how all other races look at us which is just kind of gross my mom's british my mom's scottish yo that's british nothing he's talking about english yeah i talk about

english oh england specifically england specifically oh i say everybody's just uk okay well yo that's a little y'all get upset when we say that dominican and puerto rican is England. Oh, England specifically? England specifically. Oh, I say everybody's just UK. Okay, well, that's a little disrespectful. And y'all get upset when we say that Dominican and Puerto Ricans are the same. They are. They really are. It's enough similar. It's enough similar where if you got it wrong, it's okay. Alright guys, listen up, man.

Sports is back, okay? When sports are back, you know gambling's back. I know a lot of us have been missing it. I know we want to get that fixed. We've been gambling on stupid shit in the crib with our friends, making up games to gamble about. Maybe some little poker tournaments with the homies, socially distanced, of course. That being said, now that we got real sports back, you know we got real gambling. If you're going to gamble, you're going to go to mybookie.ag to do it.

I'm telling you because they are giving free money. They are literally matching your initial investment. Okay? Hear out what I just said. You put the money in they match it you go gamble with it not only do you double your first deposit you also get a ten dollar nba future bet if you go to my bookie dot ag i don't even know what that means you probably do you do your gamblers everybody knows y'all know what future bets are man that's that's the shit is a future bet. Hey, gotta love future bets, bro. Bitch ass current bet. No current, no past bet. You need futures, bro.

Future bet. I don't know why I'm looking in the camera still. It's just audio. Mybookie.ag, promo code flagrant. That's it. Dumb easy to remember. Mybookie.ag, promo code flagrant. Go get that money.

Go get them victories and get paid out by Mybookie. Let's get back to the show. All right, guys. Look, we have to wrap this up. I think that in conclusion, it's very important we talk about uh a tragedy uh recently mark was in a rush and he had to get somewhere so i let him borrow my electric motorcycle made by the super 73 brand uh that we should have promoted roughly six months ago. We had a promo code, but they have since removed our promo code due to lack of use.

So there is no more. Hey, if you're looking to get an electric bike in quarantine, just buy a Super 73 and then just shout out Flagrant somewhere or Andrew Schultz somewhere. Actually, buy a Huck because I bought a Huck recently. That's my upgrade. And I really appreciate Huck because I bought a Huck recently and that's my upgrade and I really appreciate Huck and thank you Huck my electric ones

they're the sickest ones I'm not going to make the same mistake twice okay you still need parts I still need parts I'm realizing while I'm saying that

buy Super 73 too guys look there's lots of good opportunities out there yes go to Super 73 we like both we love both I do Super 73 too, guys. Look, there's lots of good opportunities out there. Yes. Go to Super 73. We like both. We love both. I do Super 73.

You do Huck. I Huck. I also still have a Super 73. Boom. Okay, so both are great companies. You should support both those companies. A little trashy on the brakes, but they're pretty good. You know what?

You know what? You know what? I got a bullshit break. Let's not bring that up just yet, okay? Here's the thing. Mark is in a hurry. He has a lower version of the super 73 also by me my house getting broken into for the record his house was not getting broken

into you always say that when your jewish landlord comes to collect and i find there's a little antisemitism baked in there a little bit maybe bake was the wrong word to use now oh that's great now mark's saying that there are people breaking into his home, so I say, yo, use my motorcycle, electric bike, we can use those words synonymously, to go to your house even faster. Okay? To go to your house even faster.

Right. I go, go, go for it. He takes it. Literally two minutes later, I get a call from Mark in his aw shucks voice he has an aw shucks voice what is the aw shucks voice he goes ah andrew ah he says aw like four times before he says anything oh don't be mad man ah don't be mad man man he puts like y's and everything man don't be mad man i got hit by a car and I just, I got hit really hard by this car.

And like, oh man, the bike is totally ruined, man. And I just, oh man. And I go, oh my God. I go, what do you mean by ruined? That's what I did. I did phrase it like that. Cause he seemed like he was talking fine. You were talking.

Yeah. We go out there to go get him. Yeah. Actually, my first reaction, I laughed and then asked if he was okay. Yeah, he laughed and then he said this. I was like, we got to go get him. And then Al goes,

yo, you shouldn't go because if they see you, they might try to sue. So don't go just in case you don't get caught up in the lawsuit. Also, Al called me. He goes, yo, whose fault was it?

And I was like, it might have been my fault. And he goes, well, then run, motherfucker. What are you doing? Get out of there. I'm not going to say that publicly, but it's all right.

So we go over there, right? There's, the bike is fucked up. Right. Mark said he landed on the fucking hood of the car. Yeah. You got hit T- t-bone flies onto the hood yeah okay poor kid who's driving a car terrified i think so yeah kid look 18 years old short little takashi 69 looking kid in the car with his shorty with his girlfriend

a baby seat is in the car laundry is in the car like the shorty. With his girlfriend. A baby seat is in the car. Laundry is in the car. Like, the kid was literally supporting his family, trying to do laundry. I got hit by a car. Let's not forget that. Guys, we're going to get to that in a little bit. The kid is doing his best. I can't believe you. Do you know what I mean?

Probably lives in some dangerous part of Bushwick. Wait, why do you think that? I was being racist. was being racist so so so listen the this their whole latinx family is so concerned at this moment there could be deportation issues mark is standing over this guy's car like a fucking tyrant don't we literally pull up on his hips literally hands. Literally hands on his hips. Standing on the hood. Standing on the fucking hood of the car. And he's saying this. He goes, you're not going anywhere, buddy. You said that to him.

You said, you said, you're not going anywhere. We're going to get the authority. You said, we're going to get the authorities over here. Talked like he's a graffiti artist. Like he's a fucking graffiti artist. He's a artist. Real talk, dude. And it was very telling.

When we were looking at you it was telling bro yeah what else was happening because i made up this part i didn't i didn't think of anything past this so we get down he's like yo mark get off the car get off the car hey mark get off the car i'm down off the car yeah and then we we went to the guy first yeah but he literally he didn't go to jump off the car. He makes the guy's girlfriend get out of the car and lend him a hand to get down from the car. He was stepping off a throne or something like that. He conquered the car. It was unbelievable, bro.

The guy was asking Mark if he was okay. I'm asking the guy if he was okay. Are you okay? Are you frightened? Do you know what I mean? Like, what is it? This must be so horrifying for you to experience, right? And Mark was like, what about me? I just had to touch a Puerto Rican's

property I believe there are Mexicans I believe that there are Mexicans straight though go Mark what happened next I well I recovered thank thank God I felt bad for his car yeah that's true so I did why because a Mexican drives it no because when because when he hit me. Jesus, oh gosh. Swinging with pure racism. It's not me saying it, it's Mark. You know what I mean? No, I felt bad because he hit me and the way he hit me, like the hood got all dented

when my bicep hit the side of the hood and it got a divot in it. And he was like, yo, bro, my car, your bicep is too big. And I was like, ah, my fault. Wasp is too big and i was like my fault was that your mexican accent yeah yo bro no that wasn't a mexican that's what he happened to sound like exactly um but yeah so then after he hit me uh i was like oh dude like he was like well do you want to do anything like you want to get the authorities say exactly what happened he said

the guy goes like this he goes he goes yo i don't want to get you in trouble or anything like that. Then he goes, I think my dad can fix it. And Mark literally looks at him and he goes, shocking. I could not believe it, bro. I could not believe it. The guy's basically absolving Mark of the guilt of running the red light, destroying his car, giving PTSD to his Latinx girlfriend for the rest of her life and child. We did mention that he ran the stop sign.

He ran the stop sign. It really was Mark's fault. And he's the only one out of the two of them that speaks English. And he was the one that didn't respect stop. The other guy didn't even speak the language he knew to install. Now, let me... The other guy didn't even speak the language he knew to install. Now, let me just say, though, that... Fuck!

When I was struck by the vehicle... Yeah. I think you struck it. No, I got struck. I think you struck it. That's a white-ass way to say it. That is right. I was struck by the vehicle.

I was struck by the automobile, and after I was struck, I looked, and the stop sign was nowhere to be seen. There was no stop sign there. There is a stop sign for you on that block. And what showed up three days after I got struck by the automobile? A giant stop sign and a bunch of paint on the ground that says, hey, stop. This is not true.

Slow down. This is not true. There's been a stop sign there the entire time, and you know it for a fact. Oh, how shocking. The white guy's rewriting history. Who saw that coming? Oh, shit. Who saw that coming?

All right, you back, Akash. You back. Who saw that coming? Damn, bro. No, I was- No, no, that's foul what you did to that fucking Mexican family, dog. That's foul.

What did I do? You robbed them of their American dream, dog. Which was what? His dream's probably hitting a white kid on a bike. No. So he got no dreams? His dream came true. He was finally doing his own laundry.

Not some fucking white people's. And then you stole that from him on a fucking Saturday. Was it Saturday? It was Thursday. Thursday? Yeah. It's unbelievable, bro. There was no stop sign i went and i was

distracted and after he hit me i got off i was like yo i'm sorry dude like no can i give you some money maybe i can help you fix it but we don't have to get the cops involved all right no and he said all right let me call my dad and then you guys came down and andrew's holding a smoothie drinking a fucking beet juice smoothie or like a banana peach smoothie he's like so what's going on here he's like trying to pretend he didn't know what was going on he's like so what's the deal guys what's up and then he's like oh he just he hit me i hit him with the bike remember when he's when he kept speaking english and i kept speaking spanish to him to relate you did you don't remember that he's like he's like perfect english he's like yeah yeah we got it

and i was like oh okay, que es el problema? And the guy's like, well, no, no, he hit me. Oh, que asco. No,

but the kid turned out a good deal. I was like, yo, I'll give you like a couple hundred bucks. Like there's a little dent on the front of it from when I was struck by the automobile, almost died. And I was like,

yeah, I don't mind paying for part of it. And he was like, honestly, dude, let me just call my dad. And then after he talked to his dad, he was like,

hey man, if you're cool with the cops not coming, like, are you okay? Is everything fine? And he left. And he was like Honestly dude Let me just call my dad And then after he talked To his dad He was like Hey man If you're cool The cops not coming Like are you okay Is everything fine And he left And I was thinking about it I think he was speeding

Oh I've seen a lot of cars Come down that road Oh it's his fault huh You were scared I got hit by a car Whose fault is it I get the joke Mark

What's the joke Speedy Gonzalez I see everything's a joke to you I bet he said Andele, Andele, Arriba, Arriba when he blew that stop sign huh Mark

racism's got to stop the buck stops here there's another buck for you buck, buck, buck he was telling you to contribute. You guys took the words right out of my mouth. What did I say? So,

what did you learn from this, Mark? I'm lucky to be alive. You are? Yeah. I don't know. I don't like getting political on this show. And you guys know that about me, but I do think the country could benefit from stricter policy from the border. It's a little, right?

I don't know. I've never been hit by a white guy. You don't know? White guy never hit me with his car. All you're trying to say is, is that if instead of a wall, we put stop signs at the border, it wouldn't work. That's all you're trying to say

you're not trying to get any more political than that no yeah i don't like getting political but i just i don't know it's just i play soccer with a lot of mexican kids yeah and i don't know sometimes i ask them and i say, hey, you ever drove by *** Street? Beat that. Go on. Just to see if they've been in the neighborhood or they know, because I swear I've seen this kid 10 times since I got hit. That could be true or kind of racist.

No, I think I saw the kid. He was graffitiing on the roof. Was it him? If it was him, honestly, would you take back everything you said? I'm trying to decide how I would feel about this. No, this guy was far older than I saw. This fucking adult. But if the guy graffiting on the roof,

if he had not only destroyed Mark, but also my bike and my water tower. Destroy your water tower. He did destroy the water tower. I can't even look at it, dude. I go out there, like, take a breath and be calm and stare at my water tower. Ain't that the whitest shit ever? He just got here and now it's his water tower. So that's the whitest you've ever been on this podcast.

That's my water tower. I've been renting here for coming up on seven months now. Let me tell you something. We didn't reduce rent for Corona. I pay good money. You have a water tower unsullied by these hooligans. So I knotted some hooligan ass shit, bro. These vandals.

A good grief of graffiti, a water tower. Fucking piece of shit. Now, but I did feel really bad for the kid. Yeah? Yeah, I actually did

because like, he was really nice afterwards and he was like, even after him, he was like, oh dude, are you okay? I'm sorry.

He's terrified his entire family is going to get thrown back over the border. That's why I felt bad. Yeah, so why did you put him through that experience?

What else should I have done? Stop. Not run the red light. Yeah. There was no stops on it. Yes, there was. I i'm gonna post a photograph tonight that way everyone could see that there was no stop sign and how much they hide it you see how you just said there was no stop sign and how much they hide it the stop sign is hidden and then on the road after i got hit is it about comedians that they don't listen when people say stop what is it about that what is it about people in entertainment

when the word stop is there? It just disappears from the situation. I listen. Okay? Matter of fact, we're stopping this podcast. Okay. All right, y'all. We love y'all.

Listen, we'll see you on Patreon this Friday. Patreon.com slash flagrant2, man. Asshole army growing. It's amazing to see. Appreciate y'all spreading the word, telling your friends about it, playing this episode loud at your bike shops, at your work, at all these places, man. We might have the fastest growing Patreon in the world again. Oh, 100, man.

Yo, last month we grew more than we've grown any month, including the first month we started. That's fucking... Oh. We're killing it right now. Anyway, we love y'all, man. Be good. Peace.