Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Whitney Cummings ROASTED Donald Trump

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Whitney Cummings come to hang out to talk her new special, getting ghosted by Trump, and how long before you can have the backdoor.....INDULGE! 00:00 - Start 00:38 - Central Cee running tings 02:57 - Whitney can’t take compliments 13:15 - The best scoop scoop doctor in LA is… 23:52 - Whitney might have rabies 34:28 - Whitney’s 5 star Wikifeet rating 44:03 - Whitney doesn’t want a female President 55:54 - Whitney hooked up with gay men 01:05:19 - Whitney’s Special 01:07:28 - Donald Trump is an elite entertainer 01:11:44 - Andrew’s Make-a-Wish Red Carpet appearance 01:15:43 - Joe Rogan is a bow hunting beast 01:24:06 - Rosie O’Donnell isn’t Roseanne Barr? 01:35:00 - Whitney’s legendary roasts 01:39:01 - Is Whitney the most beautiful comic ever? 01:43:15 - Whitney hates beta males 01:45:37 - Whitney’s special will get you laid

Joan Rivers is so old, her has a separate entrance for black people. Did you meet Trump when you roasted him? Yes. So we're shooting in New York. We're making fun of his hair. We're making fun of his... And he was like dying laughing the whole time. Get off stage and he pulls me close, puts his hand on my lower back and goes,

Great television. Like we were in on it together. Any other interaction with him? Not really. He did ask for my number though. No, he didn't. Yeah, but he didn't call me then. Now, do you feel a sense of rejection that he didn't reach out?

Yeah. My p***y's easy to grab. American rap music is done. Let's go. I don't want to hear no more American rappers. Florida doesn't count. Thank you. American rap music is done.

It's UK rap only. Okay. From now on. Okay. Can you spit it? No. We on. Okay. Can you spit it? We just practiced it. Can you spit it? That's not bad, y'all. I'm fine.

I'm not bad. That was fire. All I'm trying to say is we heard one song from Central C. We don't have the lyrics up. We just look into the distance. Can we rap it without playing it? What if I hit the instrumental? Don't, because it's going to get taken down.

The instrumental even? How can I be homophobic? My bitch is gay. Hit me on the top, try to sit in the top, but even the stick is gay. Hugging my brothers, saying I love them, but I don't swing that way. The men done celebrate Eve. The trap still running on Christmas Day. Damn, that shit is hot.

Fuck UK rap, bro. They got no rhythm. They don't understand how to rap at all. Fix your teeth. Listen, we're here. Yo. Yo. Yo, that was just God.

Old school. Dude, that shit is hard. Take whatever you want. British people have bad teeth. What are they going to do, Al? Yeah. They going to share a gun amongst the six of them? They come with knives.

They still use knives Listen, we're here with the one and only Whitney Cummins Whitney's got a special that's out right now Netflix, we're going to check it out right now No, actually, Andrew just bought it I bought the special You bought it back from her?

It was buy one, get one free You get Whitney's special If you buy my special, you also get Whitney's special I bought the special you bought it back from her it was buy one get one free exactly what happened you get Whitney's special if you buy my special you also get Whitney's special if you just log into Netflix and watch that shit I'm so stoked

that you're here thank you so much for coming I love you you're amazing I love you so much and for those of you that think I'm the

trans porn star that was on a couple episodes ago I'm not damn it I'm not trans I don't think the trans porn star is bad Alex is less attractive to you I'm not. Damn it. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

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I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I But I feel like you didn't paint the one that would go into a pussy. Because he doesn't need that. My thumb is painted dark. Whitney, I'm so happy that you're here. There's no uh-oh. There's no got you.

There's no nothing. Yes, there is. Okay. What? You said, oh, like there's no got you, there's no nothing. Yes, there is. Okay? What? You said, oh, like there's going to be something bad. There's absolutely nothing bad. I'm just so stoked that you're here and I'm buying time until I can ask you. How old are you?

How old are you? 39. Let's go! Everybody thinks I'm so... You look younger on my podcast. You think? 100% you look younger here. Right now?

Because you're around like-age people. So you just look good. You know what I mean? 38, 38, 39 soon. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like 40 more. But you're looking young 30s now.

Thank you. But when we were on your podcast... What was going on? Yo, dude. It was crazy out there. He was confused. I think my skin's ashier out there, maybe. No, it's not that. It's the animals. It's the house.

It's the vibe. Everything about it is like, it's time to die. Do you know what I mean? You have all your animals. You go, look out that way. There's nobody there. You're like, what is this? A burial ground? What are we preparing for? I'm literally out to pasture.

I send myself out. I'll just show myself out. But here, you're looking so young, you're so vibrant and everything is going on. I also don't have blue hair anymore. You also don't know

how to take compliments. That's another thing. Well, because I know that that was not a compliment. Bitch, I know what a compliment from Chelsea means. It means the shoes are out to dry.

That wasn't a compliment. Hey, you look less shitty. Hey, you look like shit in your own home. And then you come here once every six years and look better. I didn't mean it like that. That's the nicest thing a comedian's ever said to me. Let me have it. No, but I think that we should work on this.

This is a good idea. I'm going to give you a real compliment. Okay. And then you don't, even your face right now. This is what your face is doing. Your face is going like this. I thought they said Botox. It's moving now, isn't it? Okay. Just take

it and know that it's real and know that you, you, this is so fucking Comedians cannot compliment each other. We love praise, but we cannot. Look, ready, ready? Do you remember

how I told you to propose to your wife? Don't point at me. Do you remember how I told you to propose? Look at the dominant. Is this the thing? I'm not one of your dogs.

I'm not a pit bull rescue. I'm not a pit bull rescue. Everything is like a high position, a pointing down. All I'm just trying to give you COVID. Okay.

Do you remember how I told you to propose? Don't change the subject. Let him compliment you. The way I told him to propose to his wife was so fucking sociopathic. And you pointed it out to me. I was like, you know what you should do? This was crazy.

Wasn't this when I said, why is she sleeping? You should put it on her finger while she's sleeping. She'll wake up and see it. Yeah. And I was like, oh, the rapiest way? Like just removing consent completely from a woman? You're married now. Wake up. You said a woman you're married now wake up

you said yes in your sleep you don't want to give her the option to say no but that's where you come from you're like what's a way I can do it romantic but I'm really forcing you

into my life forever I just tried to figure out a way to do it that took out the eye contact yes remember when you were engaged and then you realized that that was a horrible idea

yeah yes that's not a compliment I do that was a horrible idea? Yes. That's not a compliment. I do. That was a compliment. But I do know why they give you a diamond. That makes you think twice.

It throws you off. Because the guy gets out of one knee. I'll make you feel comfortable. Because the guy gets out of one knee and is like, will you marry? If there was no diamond, you'd be like, I don't know But then you see that shit and you're like You know you can afford diamonds

That's the tricky thing What kind of diamond is he going to get Do people know how rich you are Do I know how People think I have like a comical amount of money But they don't know about All the family members I've had to put in rehab And all the random Venmo requests I get for new teeth.

Wait, what? I've covered a couple sets of teeth. Just random people? Random people. Family members, you said, though. A couple family members. You know what? Close family members are like, they can figure it out. You're a kind person. Thank you. You're welcome.

And you have great arms. Can't take it. You're welcome. And you have great arms. She can't. She can't tell why not. What happened in the days when comedians would just pull out their dick and move on? The good old days? This is, that is. The problem is they wouldn't move on. Dude, that is.

Move it. That is the most uncomfortable I've ever been around a comedian. See? I'm calling Ronan Farrow. Don't say you made eye contact with me and gave me a compliment. I'm triggered. Two compliments. Guys, this is the last week to get the special.

I want to thank you all so much for spreading the word. It's been absolutely amazing. The response has been unbelievable. The support is just incredible, man. Thank you all so much. Infamous, dandrusholes.com. Go to the website right now. Get it. The last day to get it is July 31st. So make sure you get it by then. Thank you guys so much. Once again, it feels amazing that so many of you have gone out there and done this,

and I've avoided bankruptcy, which is really productive for my life and marriage and career. productive for my life and marriage and career. So that means a lot to me. Thank you very much. Dangerousrolls.com. Infamous. Let's run this thing the fuck up.

Peace. You know what's funny is she took your kind well, but then when you complimented her looks, she fucking broke. That's what it was. I knew it was the looks.

He went for the arms. He didn't go for the face. He didn't go for the body. He just went arms. That's how a faithful guy compliments a woman. Yeah. You can't say you have a beautiful face because you have a wife that's going to be like, what the fuck is that?

And you're wearing shoes, so he can't see your foot. Yeah. I don't think that's true. Look at what your feet look like, though. I can draw your feet. I can easily draw your feet. If I needed to draw your feet right now, I'd get fucking drawn. If you're going to come and pick him out in a lineup immediately.

It's not even a big deal. I bet a big foot person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You bet. You bet. Are you a gambling woman you want them to be uh well taken care of but you don't want to fuck them or put them in your mouth no i don't like i don't want to fuck feet okay up for the date do we know what that is i don't know if i want to fuck feet you see how easy don't do that don't do that don't do that

nike done made a little pussy between your feet. Yo, why Nike done make a little pussy between the feet like that, bro? I didn't know Nike did that. Yo, if you really want to go crazy, you flip it like that. That's how you make the butthole. But dude.

The butthole is even tighter. It's a shussy, bro. And how about this? My pussy is also off-white. Wait, wait. So this makes perfect sense. Wait a minute. Hold on one second.

That's how you fuck feet. Have you done that? Because you're down to do weird shit. I'm down to do weird shit. Not because you like it, because you think the guy likes it. Well, yeah, but if someone fucks your feet, you might risk making eye contact.

You're not on a boat. Right now? You're like doing the whole thing. I'm trying to hold your legs up. I'm doing the biggest Kegel of my life. Okay, good. But no. I need to tighten my clothes.

Everyone fucks my ass. There it is. Did you hear it? That's where we want to get to. Okay. Okay. How long is too long to wait before anal? Is that the sound of it?

It sounds like that. Go no further. It's tricky because I just, the whole thing with anal was like, let's just have a conversation. What the fuck were you doing? That was the crazy thing. I don't know what you were thinking.

What were you thinking? I don't know what you were thinking. You guys, this is very expensive baby blood. Hold on. That's why you look like a youngster. You know how many babies I had to kill for this? That chrome. Look, I thought the top was still on.

Yep. And I saw that there was some sediment at the bottom. And I was trying to mix it for you. Sure. Okay? You're a retard, dude. I'm chivalrous. You can't wait.

Wait till then. After a podcast, maybe? Well, maybe she wants to drink it during the podcast. This guy is nuts, bro. He's legit nuts, bro. By the way, Carrot Top is about to sue you for stealing his jokes. You're about to get a cease and desist, dude. Stop doing my bits.

But I'm being serious here. I'm trying to be serious. Clearly, me too. How long did I pour it out before I realized it? That went on for a while. That was kind of weird. I was pouring it out and I was like, that shouldn't be happening. And then half of it just left.

Right? It was an extended period of time that I poured it. I feel like you were doing the math on the studio, how much it cost as you were pouring that on. I was calculating it. I was calculating it 100%.

Why don't you pour it into the plants so they'd come back alive? Whitney! What? Here, let me hold you. No, no, no, stop it. This is woman's work. No, it's not woman's work.

You're making it worse. How can I be homophobic? My bitch is gay. What was that Peaky Blinders shit? Scottish. No, no, no. You were made Irish. How can I?

Yeah, I know. That matches her hair. She's Japanese, bro. Wait a minute. Who just spilled? Did you also spill? I thought we were doing a foot test. Oh, this guy.

Watch your foot test. I mean, it'll help to drive to sugary water. I squirted when you made eye contact with me. Jesus Christ, Whitney. Have you actually ever squirted before? That hand is disgusting. You know what? I don't...

I made myself squirted one time. You're answering seriously? While I clean the water off the fucking ground? Hold on one second. I love watching... I'm not squirting. Hold on. Do you have a little OCD?

You'll clean off the table, Brett? In a good way? No, no, no, he doesn't. He doesn't. I'm analyzing the fact that he's wiping it up, but then afterwards, no one realizes that it's sugary water and it's all going to be...

The rest of the answer is going to come. It's not going to be bad. No, it's not that bad. He's right, though. But yeah, you just... He's right. No, he's the guy that doesn't... It looks like he just cleaned up my abortion.

Not that we can have it. Yes. Listen. Listen. Listen. Whitney, we are a pro... That's a heavy dick. What are we on this podcast? How do we feel about abortion? We're pro. We're pro. Whitney, we are a pro. That's a heavy dick. What are we on this podcast?

How do we feel about abortion? We're pro. We're pro. Oh, pro abortion? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're just pro. We're just pro.

We're pro on this podcast. Okay. That's all you need to know. Don't tread on me. Don't you tread on me. Can you tread on my fucking zygote so it'll die? Okay, well, let's have a serious discussion. Okay.

As you hold what looks like a bloody towel. Okay, speaking of. You look like you just performed a back alley abortion. Okay. How many, how many, who's the best abortion doctor in LA? Who's the best? The best abortion doctor, Dre. Who's the best?

The best of Dr. Dre. Oh, my God. He churns them out. Oh, wow. The other beats by Dre. Can I drink some of this? That was good. Heartbeats by Dre.

Can I drink some of this or do you want to pour more? No, no. You can drink some of it. You can drink some of it. You can drink some of it. Okay. Listen, we're getting to the real, like, harsh topics. Okay.

Which is that your white sneakers have a little stain on them. They're a little bit stained. But it's okay. Do we need to cancel? Okay. Listen, the Madden Dems

celebrate Eid. But the trap's still running on Christmas Day. The trap is still running on Christmas Day. Do you remember when I had to explain to an Eid,

what is it? Okay. I had to explain E it, what is it? Okay. I had to explain E to you. So you didn't know that that song begins with an Eve sample that's a little ramped up, right? What is happening? I am looking at the black guy. What's the call?

You got it. What is happening here? This is you trying to deter from the fact that you didn't know something. I knew it. Oh, God damn. Did she just body me? That's what she did.

Did she just fucking body me? The man done bodied you. The man done bodied me. What does that mean? Topless. Topless. Something. The strap is topless. What?

It's a topless thing. He smoked it. Yeah. You did compliment my boobs last time I saw you. Did I really? But not in a gross way. What'd I say? You were like, you have summer titties.

I didn't know what that meant. You do have summer titties. What does that mean? Well, in the winter. No. Yep. What, what, what? Okay.

So in the winter. Okay. They get hard, the nipples? No. Okay. You have what are called summer titties. Okay. In the winter, your titties are actually smaller.

Is it like balls in cold water? No. Okay. More like railroads. Oh. You know how they have to create the gaps between the railroad tracks because they expand? Oh, and like bridges. Yeah.

So in the winter, your titties actually separate a little bit more. And they're more like under the pits. Come summer, the cleavage, you're all cleavage. Come May. But I didn't notice that. February, your titties are running away. You know what? This is a very good point.

But also, my titties are fake. So they go no place ever. That's not true. When I lay down, they're like crocodile eyes coming out of a pond. They are right... You know, like natural titties,

they disappear as soon as you lay down. They smell like deodorant. They're like, bitch, I did my job. They do disappear. They are gone. Into some invisible pocket where no one really questions at all. Y'all are still looking for aliens and we don't know where titties go. That's what yours do in the winter.

Not anymore. I didn't notice that at the wedding. I didn't notice titty separation. I also couldn't get past her fucking hair. Dude, my titties were fucking wild at this wedding. And my hair, I know. No, the outfit. We talked about her stupid outfit.

I looked like trans Chucky. we designed we designed the studio after you can we get a picture of her outfit at the wedding i was also kind of in indian phase i had a self-tanner on and it was like peeling off of my neck and we didn't notice until later when we looked at the photos. Oh, yeah. So I'm sorry. I didn't get past the hair. I didn't understand what was happening. I was like, this is a 39-year-old woman.

No, you have a good reason for doing that hair. Yeah, and I also think that like you're someone that I really... Do you think that? Did I? Did I? Do you? Like, how do you feel that way? Like, how do you feel?

Do you see why I called him out on his compliment? Because he'll be like, you had a really good point about that. Or did you? No, you did. Like, he'll compliment and then he'll take it back to me. But I just want to say. Can I say the thing? I asked you why are you doing this stuff with the hair?

And you said that, you know, it was tough times during COVID. Yeah. And you were just telling some of the people who work with you and do some of your, like, styling, like, hair stuff. You're like, what's the most expensive procedure you can do? Do it. Procedure? Okay, easy. What is it called? Like, hair style. You basically were like, I want to put money in people's pockets

without just giving it to them. A lot of my friends were losing their jobs because they were hairstylists, they were makeup artists, you know what I mean? Very sweet. In the beginning, if you worked within proximities of other people, it was like people were moving home, losing their insurance. I'm an American hero. It's fine.

You get a tax write-off. It's fine. But then I was like, can I do this through my corp? Can we start up an LLC for you? Thanks so much. And then I just started getting lots of likes. And so after that, it just became more that. But also, it's like I think that during the pandemic, if you didn't go a little crazy or I was kind of like, entertainers are supposed to entertain.

I'm not going to do Zoom shows. I'm going to keep doing standup. And I want every time someone sees my page, I'm not going to be like, hey guys, I'm so depressed during the pandemic. I'm just going to be like,

here's my fucking blue hair. Here's, you know what I mean? Roast me, make fun of me. I don't give a shit. I'm an entertainer first. Yeah, I hear you. What? You're looking for something else.

I'm not looking for anything else. Also, you get a little bit addicted to it because people don't talk to you in public. When you're a woman and you have blue hair, people are like, oh, fuck. Like, she's going through something. It's like the Curb episode where Larry put on the MAGA hat.

Yes, yes. No one asks you to, like, watch their kids. No, I would never. It's, like, kind of great. You do have to deal with people, like, texting you every now and then, like, are you okay? But that's fine. I did have to make sure if you were okay a couple times yeah yeah i did but what happens when you guys see a girl have pink hair blue hair what happens you just think they're nuts well it's not just crazy

dude it's it's a lot to maintain. I actually judge their fathers. Okay. You're like, call your dad. I'm like, he fucked up somewhere. If you trace this all the way back. Okay, so if you see a girl with blue hair, you're just like, this person's broken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you upstream it, it all starts at the dad.

Okay, got it, got it, got it. The safest way you can reinvent yourself, dye your hair. Dye your hair, okay. Now, do you think that that's sexist? That we chalk up a woman's behavior only to the dad as if the mom can make

no effect whatsoever on her own daughter? Well, no, because I think the reverse sexism happens all the time with you guys where it's like if someone's a serial killer,

they're like, well, the mom must not have let him wear her pantyhose. Whoa! You know what I mean? So it's always a guy's fault. Norman Bates, psycho. So wait, are all serial killers trans, but they're not out?

Well, no. Did you see Mindhunter? Was that what you just said as a statement? Well, no. There's a lot. Did you make that statement on flagrant? Oh, my God. No, but we are going to get the Ted Bundy clip back up.

Give me a minute. Come on, Zuckerberg. If I'm in it, it will stay up. So just let me finish. Okay, go, go, go, go, go, go. I can sanitize this joke. Go. If they take a woman down, they're silencing a woman and I can accuse Jeff of rape.

Oh, wow. Who's Jeff? Zuckerberg. Is that his first name? You just said his name. Mark Zuckerberg? His name is Mark. I thought you said Jeff.

Bezos. Oh, shit. I went to Jeffrey Katzenberg. I was that hint. Hold on. Just a minute. Hold on. Bezos. Oh, shit. I went to Jeffrey Katzenberg. I was that anti-Semitic. Hold on. Time out. Can we get... My girlfriend's gay.

Wait, wait, wait. How can I be homophobic? My bitch is gay. How can I be anti-Semitic? My dude is a Jew. I don't know who owns what anymore. No, but didn't Katzenberg start that company or something? Quibi?

Yes. And then how did, did he kill himself yet? I joke about Jeffrey Katzenberg because he picked up so many shows. He started a network where he was like, okay, three-minute TV shows, right? To sort of adjust to the attention span, whatever, which this has proven people want long for him as long as it's, you know. But he signed all the emails when he would pick up a TV show, you know, his initials, JK. And later I read into him, I was like, oh, I thought you were signing your initials. Turns out you were writing just kidding.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is never going to work. But did he do it with his money? That's what I'm curious about. That's a really good question. No Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is never going to work. But did he do it with his money? That's what I'm curious about. That's a really good question. No? He had a bunch of investors. Katzenberg ain't doing nothing with his money. His co-founder was Meg Whitman, that another

plus 60-year-old person to think what the youth want. What else did he do, though, Katzenberg? DreamWorks SKG. He started DreamWorks. He's good. He's Katzenberg? DreamWorks SKG. He started DreamWorks. Oh, DreamWorks. He's good. He's a gangster.

Ran DreamWorks Animation. And I think this is where, I think the inception, the idea, I mean, there was proof that it worked in, I guess, South Korea. They were already doing that. And they tend to be sort of ahead of us in every way all the time. South Korea? South, right? Yeah, you got that right. They're going away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't Jeff Zuckerberg that. You're fine. Yeah, so like, that is a, I'm sorry, I was just thinking about the, have you had the North Korean girl

that went on Rogan? Yeah, we want, we want. He wants her. Yeah, she's been on? No, I want her so bad. What? He wants her to be on.

That's where the heavies comes from. That little girl who ate the rats? Yes. Yes. Yes. Her name is Rat Girl. Who talked about all the people she saw dying and she didn't help them? Yes.

Yes. More rats for me. So. I was talking about all the people she saw dying. I'm like, did you lift a. It might be a little bit fake, but also that's where the heavies. Yeah. Those aren't fake.

Nancy Pelosi doesn't have heavies if we don't first learn about Yomi Park. Well, actually, no, it's from Two Girls Brought to a Pool Party, but still, Yomi Park has got the super duper heavies. Can I see another photo? But zoom into that one

because what we... Who paid for the heavies? Who paid for the heavies? You're getting too much into that. Am I? It doesn't matter. Look at that. Barnyard oh yeah, right there. Who paid for the heavies? Who paid for the heavies? You're getting too much into that. Am I? It doesn't matter. Look at that. Barnyard boppers right there.

That looks like a butt. Her tits look like a butt. Is that ultimately what is hot about tits is that you can push them together and it looks like a butt? No. No.

Yeah. Is that what you thought? Yeah, I don't. I just do it because I'm dating this like younger guy, you how much he's up he's nine years younger oh i thought no he said no i'm sorry it's it's funny because he always calls me

out because you know like i don't know if emma ever does does this to you where i'll be making jokes about him and every set he gets younger and younger oh yeah and he's like why do you keep going like exaggerating this you know but he's old? He's 32. I'm 39. 32? He just turned 32, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. I met him. I like him.

He's a good, chill, just normal dude. And, well, he's not normal. He's a doctor. Just made me get a rabies vaccine. Did he? The night that you were at my house. Did you get bitten by one of your fucking rabid dogs? Okay, no.

I hung out with Ari Shaffir. No, I did. Now that is a dissonance. Now that is a dissonance. Now that is a dissonance. No, Jews don't go in the woods. Well, actually, Ari does. Ari's like always in like some random... He's a foresty Jew. He's a...

Last time we hung out, we haven't hung out since because last time we hung out, he asked me to go on a hike and it was like a four mile hike. And I was like, dude, we can't be friends if this is how you socialize. Yeah. Yeah, like he really likes to be near the land. Yeah. But when you were at my house,

the next morning at 4 a.m., I opened the door to let the dogs out and I just heard like, I thought it was like coyotes. I looked down, raccoons. I see three raccoons. And in my head, this is how Instagram really has,

is going to make sure that I perish because I follow all these raccoons that are so cute. And they're like friends with their owners. And they sleep. And I'm like, oh, look, a raccoon. And so I tried to move it out of the way of the dogs. And it just ran up my leg. And I was like, this is going to be my raccoon.

Whatever. Runs away. The next morning, it's in a tree. It won't move. I call animal control. Animal control in LA. I'm like, you guys have to come get this thing. And they go, oh, this is a big problem right now because a lot of people in L.A., they're testing their cocaine for fentanyl before they do it.

And if it's positive, they flush it down the toilet. So a lot of wild animals are on fentanyl right now. Oh, shit. I was like, I don't know if I can take on, like, fentanyl coyotes. So the raccoons are on fentanyl. Yeah. And one of them bit you. It scratched me. And then you them bit you. It scratched me.

And then you came to us. I got a couple rabies shots. Now, can I get rabies from you? This is monkeypox. This is how it starts. Yeah. Do you know monkeypox? No, it's not.

Yes, it is. No, it's not. I did look at this this morning. I love that you think you're the one that's going to get monkey pox I will do you secretly kind of want it? no when I was on your podcast

you said it's no surprise that the gays started it you said something like that no that would mean I plagiarized my hero Chappelle that's his joke that's his joke that's his joke. That's his joke. That's his joke.

He got to it first. Wait, wait, wait. But did you hear this? That they're saying that it started through rough sex in the gay community? Yeah, but you know they went back to our thing. I'm a reporter. Back to our thing. I'm a reporter.

They don't blame everything on gay dudes, though. They have the bad father of the medical community. Everything is gay sex. If doctors don't know what it is, what them queers up to? But straight dudes fuck butts too.

Straight dudes can... Talk that shit. Talk that shit. You know what I'm saying? Talk that shit. But you know what I'm saying? How long before a butt fuck from you?

Oh, that's right. That was the first question of the pod. My deal is I just kind of need a heads up so that I can make culinary decisions that are conducive to this going well for everyone. But you didn't do that that one time you told me. Remember when the guy gave you a sweet butt fuck in the shower? What the fuck is going on? Remember?

She came to me. She was like, dude, you're so innocent sometimes. It's crazy. Because you're the wildest, but you're the most a- She came to me. She was like, dude, you're so innocent sometimes. It's crazy. Because you're the wildest, but you're the most innocent. She came. She's like, when anything happens to her, she normalizes it immediately. That's how she copes. Exactly.

That's how you lessen shit. So she goes, what's up with guys? Where, like, just, like, the first night you meet them, immediately they take you in the shower and fuck your butt. And I'm just like, what did you just say like what do you mean like yeah you know guys like the most regular normal guys oh my god we'll just take you in the shower and fuck your butt yeah it's called a babyless shower a baby so and then i was like no that's up butt sex is not for pussies. It's not for pussies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most butt sex is not. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You were able to do it standing up? Well, I was definitely like, you know, gripping something, I guess, the best of my ability. But the one that I think. Anchor?

Ankles? Oh. I said it as Yeonmi Park. Sorry, guys. Dude, if she ends up being from fucking Newark, I will... She is not even from North Korea. There's no way. I think she meant Little Korea.

Korea Town? She's like, oh, no, Korea Town in LA. Okay, come on. Seriously? Because when we were both like fuckboys, we would like, you know, I would call Andrew for like advice. Because my thing is like women should not take boy advice from other women and guys

should not take girl advice from guys. Agreed! I think it's like a really big mistake we all make, you know? So I was like, let me just call Andrew, like he'll tell me make So I was like let me just call Andrew Like he'll tell me and I was like okay This guy just came back to my house And I think we maybe Made out like very briefly

And then turned me over onto a poof You know those things that I don't even know Like an auto? Like a bean bag? But it's like a Moroccan Of all people I feel like you're gonna help me He's Moroccan actually It's like a, but it's like a Moroccan. Yeah, the Moroccan poof. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of all people, I feel like you're going to help me. He's Moroccan, actually.

He would know. Okay, here we go. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like hard, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Moroccan poof. Yeah, I've never used it.

No one's ever touched it. Let me tell you something. We shouldn't take too much time about the poof because the rest of the story is probably way better. Yeah, it's more about the boof than the poof. With the visual, I didn't want you guys to think I would allow myself to get butt-fucked on a beanbag chair. It was in the shower. That's trash. No, a Moroccan beanbag chair. It was in the shower. That's trash. No, I'm a rocking beanbag chair.

Way different. Right there. As a woman, what do you think is more traumatizing? Getting fucked on a beanbag chair in your own living room that you paid for? Yeah. Or in the shower? If he brought the beanbag chair, that's the most traumatizing. Yeah.

No, it's a different thing. If you guys are about to fuck, he's like, hold on, let me get something in front of the trunk real quick. That would be next level. A water source gives you security because you're like, oh, if an accident happens, like it's going to be clean. It's going to be lubricated. You don't have to watch someone go. And like, you know what I mean? There's already lubrication happening.

What did you just do right there? What did you guys always do? You did this very recently. I don't do that. Or guys will, yeah, they'll be like. I do that shit. I don't yell a lot. I do that shit.

I don't yell a lot. That's the tasteful way to do it. You can't just be like. Well, yeah, you don't. No, you don't hock it. You don't hock it. You just go. Like, it's a little.

You're headed with a chef's kiss one time. Everybody's happy. He pulls out of his nose like a clown yo is that gross when we do that no it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot it's just like it also but my one thing about it is like believe in yourself you're hot it'll get we'll get there oh like we're like rushing it too much just like you're not wet yet it's like just give me a give yourself the benefit of the doubt yeah just just yeah it will get wet is what you're trying to say i know we just met just tell me you love me it's not weird um you see what i'm saying right about the bad things you know what i mean it's just like you're like dude i just give me one second oh you know what I mean it's just like you're like dude just give me one second oh you know okay what if we do that

and we just lather the bottom of our dick so that you guys can sometimes guys will do that sorry you know it's really you're like a mime like she can't talk

about a thing without I like petting it she's like so I have this horse easy easy and I used to think that guys jerked off. Easy, easy. I used to think that guys jerked off.

Can I stand up? Yeah. I used to think this is how guys jerked off. I swear to God. Come back here. It's easier. Don't go behind the couch.

I need a wall. I thought you were going to the bush. I need a wall. You're making this really crazy. I used to think that guys jerked off.

I'm sure you have a camera on you so you can do this. I thought guys jerked off like this. Yeah. What? Like they're having

a hard time in a movie? Well, just like if I was a guy, that's how I would jerk off. I mean, yeahed off like this. Yeah. What? Like they're having a hard time in a movie? Well, just like if I was a guy, that's how I would jerk off. I mean, yeah, that is it sometimes. Do you know what I'm saying? In the shower like that. Shower. That is a shower.

Oh, shit. Hard working, man. You know, just like, like when I see guys- Guy with a long day solving crimes. Guy with a bad elf eye. Yeah, like in Halfway Through the Jerk, you're like, it was elf.

Yeah, for sure. I think that's a way of doing it. You were right. I like when guys jerk off in front of me because then I can learn how they do it. And then you want to replicate that. Well, just because every guy does it a little bit differently and you never know.

But how we do it is different than how we want you to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. You study men like a zoologist. You're like, I really study God. You could just ask Andrew. Guys are very, but guys have their own weird shit, and it also feels like your feet. That's about it for Andrew

with weird shit. It's not even weird. In terms of you want weird shit. I'm into it just the way it is. Remember the movie Boomerang? Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That made me understand. And what is it about the feet? Is it just you want it to be attractive, or you go, the way you do anything is the way you do everything. If your feet are taken care of, I know your pussy's on point. No, that's some bullshit that we add to it.

That's not it. Okay. Something's weird. Yeah, well there is a theory that it's called cathexis, that a lot of guys that are super into feet or like want to fuck them, number one the toes look like little dicks, that's like the Freudian thing. The second one is... Come on, man. What you doing?

What you doing? You little dick loving it's like baby dicks it's like baby that's not better that's not better I hate this one

that's not better why are you even here right now Q Freud baby dicks Freud how can I be pedophilic it's like it's like nine

my girl is young baby it's not even... Is it even pedophilia if it's a baby? It's a baby dick. That's the most pedophilic, actually. I like feet! Feet look nothing like dicks.

Toes, some of them. No, they don't! In what way? What way do toes look like dicks? They're just phallic-ish. I bet this is Darwin. He's a scientist. I'm just passing. Darwin got everything wrong. You said Freud. Darwin is evolution.

Yeah, that's right. He got nothing, you be fucking amazing. Nothing gets past you. No, but then the other one is that, I don't think, I don't know.

This one is the one I subscribed to. Whatever it is, this is mine. She just ruined it. She just ruined it. Hold on, I'm back. I'm back!

I'm back! I don't fucking give a shit. Do I still have a five on WikiFeet? I have a perfect score on WikiFeet. Wait, really? I did. I did before. I mean, how many people ranked it?

I don't know. It's like when a restaurant got five stars, like four ratings. We need to see the total reviews. I need a 4.8 with 300 reviews. Whose feet are... That is not my foot. Oh, that is my foot. Yo, you're crazy.

You're crazy. Why is it bleeding? Okay. Whitney, what the fuck? Are you butt naked in that second one? What the hell is happening? What? Oh, these are just photos from like online.

But you look butt naked in that one. This is your wiki feet. Okay. What's my score? Five stars still. Now what? Yes. Even with a bloody ass fucking toe.

Yeah. Is that Joe Biden? Wait, why are you naked there? I'm not naked there. I'm in a swimsuit and I have a watermelon slice on my pussy. Oh. We get it. You muted me on Instagram.

No, I didn't mute you. You know when you learn someone's muted you or doesn't look at you, they're like, what is that? You're like posted that seven times in a row. I've never seen that. Oh, yeah. I guess there's a lot of shit on my feet. But these are like screen grabs of Instagram stories or something.

1,600 total votes on your feet. Wow. beautiful oh 335 nice 170 okay i mean what is this that's me showing how to fuck a foot no that's you having a midlife crisis by the way thank you for thinking i'm gonna live another 39 years thank you wait you think you're dying young? This is not midlife. I don't know. It's a good question. Thank you. I fucking hate you because I hate it when people say that to me.

I did it to just buy time, you asshole. I don't think it's a good question. I know you did. I hate that. When do you think you're going to die? It's a good question. See see that's just me buying time yeah

there's a i have in my family lots of like strokes and lots of you know i don't know if i have to do a lot of drug addiction to do the fucking orlando uh hard rock casino in my 60s i might do the same shit wait do you have insider information about no i don't i don't. I don't, but Bob, he was so communicative and such a hypochondriac that I feel like if something had happened to him, he would have texted. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. So you think it's like he actually really fell? I don't know. I don't think so. You think somebody did something to him? I don't know. I just don't think you hit your head and then get back up and then get in bed without like texting your wife or your friends and be like, oh, some crazy shit happened or take a photo or something. You know, I don't know.

I don't have access to his phone. I don't know. I would definitely hit my head and then be like, you know, I hear about this shit. Nobody cares. It's two in the morning. I'm going to text people about this. Who cares? Oh, that's right.

You're not supposed to go to sleep after you have a concussion, right? Yeah. The worst part is that. He's right. You're not supposed to go to sleep after you have a concussion, right? Yeah. The worst part is that... He's dead. After he... That's the worst part. Before you say what you are going to say... Give her a chance.

That is the worst part. You know I'm exaggerating. Okay, go. Jesus Christ. Can you get the feet? I can't even concentrate. A very difficult part. Let me say this more annoying.

I went... I don't know concentrate. A very difficult part. I can't even concentrate right now. Let me say this more annoying. Okay. Is I went, like, I don't know. Something weird happened when he, I went to, like, our texts just to see, you know? Yeah, yeah. And he had asked me to do his podcast, like, four times. And you didn't, man. You didn't get it done. I just totally did it. And I felt so bad.

I felt so bad. I know. You could have probably gotten some followers off of that podcast. And now it's just never there. So fucking bad, man. But also, here's the thing about Bob. Dude, he wants us to fucking clown. Like, he wants us to be silly.

Like, you know he had a crazy situation where his sister died of this horrible disease called scleroderma. What is that? It's when your skin, like, hardens and, like, starts— Game of Thrones. Grayscale. Grayscale. Oh, is that what it's called? Did you not watch Game of Thrones. Grayscale. Grayscale. Oh, is that what it's called? Did you not watch Game of Thrones?

I've seen parts of it. No, you haven't. You just said something that's not true. I've seen parts of it. Nobody's seen parts of it. I've seen parts of it. No, no, no, no. I can resist.

So you watched like what? Like minute three to minute eight of an episode? Yes, yes. You didn't. He sat down with people who were watching it and they were like, I don't give a fuck about this. Do you see why he started this interview with, let me give you some compliments and make you feel loved? I knew this was going to fucking happen.

Yeah, it's called a love bomb. Oh, I will sue you right now. Now you can sue men for love bombing you? Wait, is that a real thing? Oh, no, people, literally girls now who are, I mean, I think this was kind of part of the Amber Heard thing too, of like going like, I was love bombed in the beginning. Like, he love bombed me.

And so now you're in trouble if you love a girl too much in the beginning. Well, maybe you're cooler in the beginning. Yeah, maybe you got annoying. This is a fucking love bomb person. What do you mean? Well, she's trapped. That woman's in trouble.

You have been loving her, and who knows what you'll do next. If you don't love them, are you just an asshole? That's the only way to... Yeah. No, but there's now this thing where I think when women... Yeah, women are so confused, because before it's like, don't make fun of us so we like you, and now it's like, don't like us a lot. Well, I think women are, at least the ones that are like, liar,

they're trying to get ahead of the, well, why didn't you just leave earlier? How did you miss all these red flags? Like you didn't see the swastika tattoo? Like, and then they're like, well, I was love bombed in the beginning, which makes you like, like dick sick or something.

Remove all accountability. Yeah, just to be like, he loved me so much, gave me so much attention. I couldn't focus on the red flags. What if there's a female president and they get like loved bombed? Can I just do the female president thing?

All right, guys, we'll take a break for a second because some of you bums need a nicer wallet. And you know what? You're going to step it up to the greatest wallet in the business.

It's an Xter, okay? Look how sleek, look how cool this shit is. Bow, all the cards come out. You want your ID? Snatch, credit card, snatch. They got this cool little rubbery thing.

If you need to throw something else in there, tampon probably for your mother. So look, the thing is this. Wallets often get lost, but not an exter. It's got a tracking device already built in it. Somebody tries to take your wallet. Follow that motherfucker home. Get your wallet back.

It's always on you. Oh, what happens if the tracking device runs out of battery? It doesn't because it charges with the sun. Thank you for that sneeze, Mark. All I'm trying to say is the last thing you should be worried about nowadays is someone trying to boop your shit. Okay. You go pay for something at Starbucks, right? You're not taking out your money. Just boop on your phone. Well, this, this thing that's so convenient to us is also a thing that people are using to steal our motherfucking data. You just got your credit cards loose in your pocket. Someone can walk up next to you, boop your

thigh, take all your credit card information, mouth an extra. It protects against the boop. Okay? There's a fancy name for that, and I don't know exactly what it is, but promise you, it protects against... RFID protection. RFID protection. All I'm trying to say is you check out the wallets at extra.com. That's E-K-S-T-E-R dot. R-F-I-D protection. All I'm trying to say is you check out the wallets at Ekster.com.

That's E-K-S-T-E-R.com. And you're going to get 20% off the site wide with the code flagrant. 20% off the best wallet you've ever had in your life with the code flagrant. Make sure you go get it. Now, let's get back to the show. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second because some of y'all need to save some goddamn time and some goddamn money and increase your nutrients and just become a better human being. And Freshly has got your back, okay?

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That's $125 off at Freshly.com slash flagrant. Go get it and let's get back to the show. Also, guys, Big Daisy Energy Tour still going,

still selling the fuck out. San Diego this week. I promise you these shows are going to sell out. You need to buy your tickets now. August 5th and 6th, the week after, I'm going to be in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Atlantic City, there is nothing else to do. Anywhere nearby, the city is a fucking toilet. You might as well come to my comedy show. It's the one good thing to do. It's the one thing where you won't get robbed, at least not while you're there, maybe on your way home. And after that, I am going, where the fuck am I going? I am going to Tempe, Arizona.

It's hot. Go inside and enjoy some air conditioning August 11th through 13th. And then September 9th and 10th, I'm going to be in Orlando, Florida with Mark Gagnon. Hopefully our friendship will keep us from killing ourselves. You'll understand that if we've reached that part of the podcast. I don't know. Anyway,

all those dates and more at AkashSingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. Guys, like, do you want some kind of... Not a woman in the president.com. Now let's get back to the show. Guys, like, do you want some kind of— Not a woman to be president. I know the answer's no. Hey, stop it right there. I do want a female president.

Trans female? No. That'd be fire. That's very progressive of you. That'd be fire. I don't divide them up. Okay. Female is female.

Okay. And the future is female. So these are all— Why is that fine to be on a shirt but when someone says it out loud it's so funny but no I would

love a female president that would be fire but do you want to know on some level I was working on you gotta let him finish you gotta I know when a Schultz

insult is coming so you gotta let him I don't have anything I would I think it'd be great I think it'd be great for our country yeah

do you know what I mean you should call your insults insults insults. With a Z. Don't you want diversity? We had a Catholic president with JFK. Yeah, that was diverse. That ended great.

That was diverse at the time. We can't elect this fucking Catholic. He's a Catholic. What is he going to do? I don't know if I want to picture my president being fingered as a child. Hold on. Not all Catholics were fingered, okay? Oh, I thought you were talking about Bob.

No, I mean like a Catholic president all I picture is like... You know what I mean? That's a weird thing to lead with. Like, I'm Catholic. Do you think the priest is like proud of that like he's like y'all fingered a bunch of opioid addicts i figured the president that's crazy okay but no but seriously tell me why i know i don't my female president whatever

you're against a female president i was i was working on a bit about how like do you guys want i don't i want to know that when a female president is in! I was, I was working on a bit about how, like, do you guys want, I don't, I want to know that when a female president enters an office that she's not sucking dicks. You don't want your president

sucking dicks? Like, if you're married, like, there should be like four years. He can outsource that. Your husband can have

like a side, only business because I don't want all of our world leaders to know like, she's not, like she could be, she has to service her husband

at some point. That's fire. Yeah, yeah. She should never be in a subservient position. She's a not a, like she could be, she has to service her husband at some point. That's fire. Yeah, yeah. She should never be in a subservient position. She's a female president. But she should though. That's fire.

No, no, no. Are you sure? Everybody's happier. But she could be lesbian. She could be gay. But so everyone would know. Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah, which that would be perfect.

Lesbian president, fire. That, yeah, that's pretty. I did a lesbian president. How can we be a woman president? No, hold on. A woman president is gay. A president is gay. We're prime minister for y'all out there if, hold on. A woman president is about president's gait. Or prime minister for y'all out there

if you don't know what a president is. Yeah, fucking whores. Whores. Fix your teeth. I don't think we'll have a female president in our lifetime. We said the same thing about black president. We did say that.

I never said that. Whitney, you did. You never thought it. I thought it. Nobody ever asked you you but you did you were a little surprised when it happened I don't know

trying to think I don't remember I remember when he was giving his acceptance speech I don't know I didn't vote for him so I don't know get that motherfucker

off the stage yeah yeah yeah I literally thought that I'm like why is he in public right now do you remember the inauguration when it was covered with the bulletproof glass?

Yes. It was wild. As soon as you saw the family walk out, and then from one angle you saw all the reflecting of the light, it was so, it made me sick to think. But wouldn't you think it'd be great to have a female president? Why would a female president be better? It has to be the right one. A bad one would be the worst thing ever, because no one

would ever want one ever again. It would be such a setback. I'd say wait till the fucking perfect one, then Russian one in there. There's nobody you'd vote for now. What about Elizabeth Warren? She'd be talking sense.

Michelle Obama? I... Michelle? Nikki Haley? Yeah. Tulsi Gabbard? Yo, shout out Tulsi. I like Tulsi.

I like Tulsi a lot. I don't know what... I feel like there was a weird little hit job that happened to her. Oh, yeah. Right? Everyone said she was

like a Russian bot. I don't want to get too political. Okay, me neither. But if we did... body no no no no i'm saying like if we did have a female president right yeah and i understand that you don't want her giving blow jobs because you feel like that's subservient it's more like i just don't want leaders thinking that's going on because there's a lot of other countries that are way further behind than we are that might look down upon that. What if she's getting fucked in her shit box? They might think we're weak.

I was going to say, they may think we're weak. If they know it's just shit box, they're like, that's a fucking man. That's a boss. She takes in the ass like a man.

That's a boss. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving blowjobs. I think it's a very empowering thing. But do you ever like... I don't think that's subservient at all.

You're married now, so you're never going to get one. No, I don't remember what they're like, but what I'm saying is I do remember there was a time where I felt so weak when I would get a blowjob.

I felt like I had no control whatsoever. That's true, because you got... I have two sets of teeth. Don't do this when you talk about it. This right here,

you stop right now. You really told me This right here, you stop this immediately now. This right here, you stop this immediately, okay? You gave me some winter dick. This little piggy. Don't do that at all. That is, I guess, really a power position

because you are holding the most valuable part of your body between your teeth. Interesting. Remember, there was that great Chappelle joke. No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where the, she was sucking the dick and then she wanted to get the shit done.

Sucking the president's dick. Oh, wow. We need to lower these taxes. Is this a Google search? Oh, yeah, that was. It was killing him softly. It was killing him softly. I really think

we should lower taxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh. It was way better when he did that shit. I'm sorry. I lobbed it up to you because I was like, I'm going to butcher it. That was the meanest thing anyone's done about Chappelle in the last month.

Yeah, dude. Jesus, man. Okay. It's very funny. Go check it out. I just wonder if there's a female president. There's just certain things we have to let everyone know, you know? Like what?

Like just she's not, you know. She's not what? She's not going to have her period? She doesn't have any, she's not, you know. She's not what? She's not going to have her period? She doesn't have any balls on her chin for four years. She's not going to have her period? Oh yeah, I don't have to worry about that.

Oh, that's a good point. I don't know. Do you think about stuff like that when there's like a woman leader? Do you look at the husband and go like, ugh.

Do I look at the husband and go, oh, he's got to deal with her on her period? Or just something. I don't know. We've never had a female, I'm just curious. I don't,

like Angela Merkel? Yeah. Her? Mm-hmm. That was cool. Do I don't know. Like Angela Merkel? Yeah. Her? That was cool. Do you know Silvio Berlusconi? Yeah. Yeah. So he, do you see, I did a podcast for Wondery where I like narrated the whole thing. So I learned a lot about Silvio Berlusconi. Can you

explain who Berlusconi was? Prime minister of Italy. But also like kind of a gangster. The most gangster. Super billionaire. Controls the cable networks. He basically, he's basically what Trump. They were going to Mussolini that shit one more time, basically. Basically, he owned all the TV networks. He put all these like shows, like showgirls on and then put them all in parliament.

Like literally showgirls. Like he just like bought the country. He bought the football team, soccer, whatever the fuck. And his slogan to run for prime minister was go Italy, and aligned it with football, and that's the most important thing to them. So he just like, people would go like, why are we vote for you? And he's like, go Italy, Italy wins only. Like it's very Trump, like Trump loves him. Super corrupt, like just a lot of mafia. He can't be excited about his country? A lot of mafia money. Well, no, the week that

people were, the magistrates were investigating his like money laundering and not paying taxes, his truly four best friends like you, you and you were all found having just committed suicide, like in their homes, like his three best friends, like the most crazy shit. Were they in Orlando? It's a great question. Great question. These are things that we have to know. Before we get conspiratorial on this podcast, here's things that we have to know. There's a video of him calling Angela Merkel a fat ass.

I mean, she's not the best built bitch I've ever seen in my life. But is that kind of what you want out of a leader? Yes. Sturdy hips? Yes. I don't even know if she has hips. Like cankles? Yeah, she's like

Who's like our hottest leader that we still respect? Oh, that we respect? Like Amal Clooney? Like who's, like how hot can you be? Look at her, hold on. How hot can you be and still be taken seriously? No, I respect this woman. Yeah, this, she's gonna get shit done.

No kids, right? I don't think any kids. Got a husband, no kids. That is a Down syndrome-y haircut. You think she has Down syndrome? That haircut, her barber does. For sure. Who is that fucking NFL team owner?

Oh, yeah. Al Davis. Al Davis. Mark Davis, his son. Yeah, Mark Davis. Mark Davis, yes. Mark Davis. Yeah son. Mark Davis. Mark Davis, yes. Mark Davis. Yeah, she's an odd one, this woman.

But you don't have to look that bad. Is that Coco? No. That's Coco. Isn't that Ice Cube's wife? This is the Croatian president. This is not just... I don't know if this got debunked.

That's her body? I don't know if this got debunked or not. That looks like Coco, Ice-T's wife. Yeah, but it's not. It's the Croatian president. You see what I'm saying? So it is possible. Okay.

Go there. Okay. Yeah. It is possible. How big is Croatia and how serious are they? Very big. These, I think. Shit.

What problems is she solving on a daily basis? All of them. All of them. Croatia, what's going on with it? Four million people in Croatia. Yeah? Four million people in Croatia. Yeah. Four million people in Croatia. Okay.

Four million. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have no excuse not to look like that. This is, listen, the president sets the bar. Got it. You need to be an attractive,

good-looking man or woman. I'm not pointing at you because I'm saying you are. I'm just saying that Angela Merkel is representing Germany in a way that's kind of odd. Do you want that to be the face of Germany? The man from up?

You mean the parachute from up? I mean, come on. This is not how you want your country represented. No, but she gets shit done. Look at that. She's not busy trying to look good. She gets shit done. I was wondering where Pat Nott's mom was.

Yo, this is fucking Ratatouille. Ratatouille is your president. Or prime minister. Whatever the fuck it is. Oh, no. God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. I was curious what Brian Posehn was up to. Yo, what happened to Brian Posehn? Is he out here running jerky? Okay. Okay. can we be serious? It'll be interesting. I'm not like a we need a few. I'm like, don't put any women in any positions

where they're going to fucking suck until they're fucking extra good. Why? Because you think we're going to go, I told you so? Well, no, it's just most politicians suck. Women are not, right? Or are disappointing in some way. I mean, what politicians do we still like after they served any time?

Barack. Yeah, that's true. George Bush. But I don't know. If he drops a podcast, are you still going to like him as much? Who? Obama. I've seen a Barack podcast for sure.

That voice, I'd listen. Oh, yeah. Okay, I feel like he's like one podcast away from people being like, buddy. They did do a podcast, right? I'm not a cancel. He narrated like a- The Lakes. The Parks. This thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He narrated like a. The lakes. The parks.

This thing. Yeah. He narrated that show. Yeah. Called The Parks Project right? Yeah I'm pretty sure. And he just told everybody about the parks that we have.

Yeah. But it's wild because we're like hey Brock white people know about these. That got. Hold on a second. That got green lit. This is by Netflix.

That was green lit by Netflix. Gotcha. Are you about to say something about Netflix? No. Not at all. I think that they're making phenomenal decisions. Obviously, they made a great decision with you. Dropping it on a Monday night,

the night everybody's super excited to watch some stand-up comedy. Look, in China, that's Tuesday morning. Dude, what is with the drop times on Netflix? You know the problem with Netflix is they literally just, what is it called? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

They're like, okay, they think they're like an old Italian town where there's only one restaurant. Do you know what I mean? They're like, yeah, we can take a nap during the day because there's no other place for people to go. But now that there's like a bustling city, you have to change things a little bit. You have to learn how to market. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.

And they're not, like dropping it on a Monday night. Well, here's the thing. I do make lots of transphobic jokes in it. So please tune in. Oh, what is your hot? Have you hooked up with a trans person? No, but I have hooked up with a couple of gay men and dated a couple of men that I think, I don't know if they knew they were gay or not, but were, but not trans.

After that, were they 100% sure? The only way I knew they were gay is because they were attracted to me. They were just only butt-fucking you?

They thought I was trans. Does that count? No, only a couple gay guys, I think. I think gay guys, I think, want to, like, date me to be like, how do we do this? Like, how do I...

Because they still want to be with a woman. They still want to be straight. Or maybe they think I'm going to introduce them to Kathy Griffin or something. I don't know. But never trans? Never dated a trans person. No.

Would you? It would have to be a trans man. A trans man. Yeah. Which, by the way, no one... A trans man. Yeah, a trans man. A trans man. Yeah. Which by the way, no one, no one, a trans man. No one complains about trans men. Like guys don't care. Guys are like, yeah, well that's just smart. Like transition from female to male, like good business move. Um, I, would I, um, I don't know. Not that I'm going to fucking lecture me about comedy.

I feel like I would, maybe not now. I'm not against it. I if they're going to fucking lecture me about comedy. I feel like I would. Maybe not now. I'm not against it. I just don't want to have to talk about Chappelle again. Yeah, I haven't. No. Yeah. That's okay.

But that doesn't make me transphobic. No. Okay. I never said it did. I was just asking. Yeah. Do you feel bad about it? It definitely helps you look less transphobic if you say, that doesn't make me transphobic.

I know, but there was this weirdness in the room. Tell us what does make less transphobic if you say, that doesn't make me transphobic. I know, but there was this weirdness in the room. Tell us what does make you transphobic. Open up, Toss. You know I'm not. I have so many trans friends, it's fucking ridiculous. Wow. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wow.

That is the wrong answer every time. How can I be transphobic? No, you don't fucking know. I'm not doing that. Here's the thing. Here's my deal. I know trans is real. It's 100% real.

I have girlfriends. Listen to me. No. Hit it. Hit it. Go, go, go. My girlfriend's gay. Trans is real.

Because I have girlfriends that transitioned at 35. They knew that they were uh female at four yeah 35 no man would ever commit to anything that long that's a fucking woman like you know what i mean like i i i here's the deal with the trans shit is like you guys don't need to get involved like we'll handle this like women we it's a woman's problem it's our problem like they're taking our men they're they're. Like they're taking our men. They're a problem? They're taking our trophies. You're trying to say that they're a problem?

If they are, we'll handle it. I'm just saying. We'll handle it. I am very pro-trans. We know what to fucking do when they're fucking taking our trophies and shit. We'll get Tonya Harding out of retirement if we have to. We are fun. We know what to do.

That's a good idea. Listen, you know that this podcast is very supportive of the trans community. We're pro. 100%. We're very pro-trans. No, but here's the thing. We're trying to flip you over to our side. We don't count how many trans people that we know or anything like that.

That's not what we do. We just put our- How many trans people do you know? Say again? We don't count because we're out of fingers. I literally don't count. Not counting Alex. Not counting Alex.

Honestly, it's a lot. You know what it is? It's just like, it's a lot. It's like, probably even more. Probably even more

than I do know. Okay. Because they haven't gotten the courage to transition just yet. But Whitney's going to decide for them when they get to transition. Yeah, I'll let them know. What do you think the right age is?

Their body, her choice. To transition? I don't care. You said four. You know what it is? You're on the record for saying four. I think it's weird that everyone cares about other people's children. Do you believe that we should start chopping up four-year-olds?

I believe we should go back to child labor. Hack, hack, hack. Child labor-olds? I believe we should go back to child labor. Hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack. We should go back to child labor. So if their dick gets cut off at the factory, fine. That's okay. But kids, this whole thing where we all care about other people's kids is very weird to me. Is it? Yes.

Talk to me about it. So like starving kids in Africa, you're like, them ain't my kids. Okay, let's worry about them though. We're not like kids in Africa. What if they want to change their dick to a pussy? Like it's odd to me that we're talking about four-year-olds' pussies and dicks. First of all, only you want to chop them up. I don't want to chop them up.

You've said that. I've literally done a podcast with you where you were like, chop them up. I hate you. You didn't say chop them up. I hate you so much. That's the only way to deal with this. You're such a fucking asshole because no one that listens to this podcast is going to check my podcast

to see if what he's saying is correct. Literally, there's an episode where the two of us, you said chop them and screw them. That's what you said. You said chop them and screw them. My don'ts. My don'ts.

I said split them open. That's crazy now. Now you're a crazy person. I also, it's interesting, the other thing is the drag queens, I feel like, is what people are pissed off about now. Drag queens, they're like, drag queens are gonna fuck our kids. Really? I thought that show was poppin', RuPaul's Drag Race.

No, there was kids, um, uh. The ones that can read is becoming an issue. Yeah. But also, you know what it is? I don't even, I didn't understand it. There's like these literate drag queens that are doing, like, story time for kids and now parents are, like, all upset about it.? I don't even understand. There's these literate drag queens that are doing story time for kids, and now parents are all upset about it. Literally in Catholic schools, they're like, the men in short dresses, not allowed. Men in long dresses, you get to work here. Yeah, get in there.

So I think it's odd. To me, when I hear parents just going on and on about the drag queens, they're going to molest our kids, and the trans people. All you're doing is telling people that you think your kid is hot. Like, you think that your kid is worth going to jail for. But everyone thinks their kid is special. You should, though. You should think that. Yeah, that's true. You don't want to say that your kid's unmolestable. Yeah, my kid is going to be

fuckable. But you're saying someone's going to go to jail to fuck your kid. Yeah, I have faith in my kid. That's how hot your kid, that's how worth it. I have faith in my future child, yeah. My kid's going to be jailbait. You think your kid's like sexy. No. He will be. No, no, no.

Or she will be. Those are different things. He's double-enthusiastic. They will be. Not to me, but to everybody else. What? Objectively, I'm going to have a sexy kid. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

They're not into the kids because they're sexy. They're into the kids because they're kids. My kid ain't seen my kid yet. That's facts. That's facts. That is facts. But are you so, okay, I'm just saying, drag queens, does anyone know a drag queen here? Do you know any drag queens? Mm-mm.

It's like, it's just tricky because it's like, I have a lot of drag queen friends. They don't want to fuck their kids. They don't even hug their own friends. How many friends do you have? They're such assholes. Like, they don't, like, logistically, I think people don't understand, like, to molest your kid would take, they have to take off,

like, their pantyhose and the spanks. It's just too much work. Yeah, and untuck and the whole thing. They have to take the post-its off. I don't know,

the twine and the fucking, I don't know. Is this a Mark Twain novel? All the shit. And then they have nails they couldn't even get the dick, you know,

like, just think it through. You once said, you once said that you, you are a giraffe i fucking hate you i never said that you did say that on a podcast am i not crazy enough do you have to make up fake crazy things you said on a podcast you said i am i am a giraffe i've never said that yes you did no i didn't why did you just look over there i was looking at alex okay why because i thought that maybe he would find

that also funny just thought that that was the kind of funny thing that you would say on a podcast i was observing her neck to see if it was true yeah you did say that Didn't say it You said I am giraffe You said that You did not say that But it's also Here's the thing I love you so much Because it is so clear

You have zero attraction to me You don't hear anything I say You've never remembered Any exchange we've ever had It's not true We are true family No I think that you're amazing I think that

You're the funniest Motherfucker on the planet I think that your special jokes. I think that you're the funniest motherfucker on the planet. I think that your special jokes is going to be great. I haven't seen it just yet, but I will watch it tonight. Five star feet. Also that. Thank you. Five star feet. And also the special is... Shut the fuck up. I also think that you believe you're a giraffe.

I do feel that way. Don't you think I'd see the gay guys coming a little sooner? I mean, they're from behind. I don you think I'd see the gay guys coming a little sooner? I mean, they're from behind. I don't think I'd ever see them coming. I mean, I don't think that's possible, you know? So, I just, what I'm trying to say is, is that, you know, you've had times in your history where you've tried to protect giraffes.

I have. And you've gone above and beyond. Above. That's protect giraffes i have and you've gone above and beyond that's that is what drafts do and it's something that my neck on the line you did put your neck on the line and it touched my heart you really like you and theo love this i think it's the most beautiful thing do you think this is when you were like, because I feel like everyone in our community like. Have you used giraffe glue? What is that? Well, horse glue is good.

Gorilla glue. Oh, horse glue. But giraffe glue is exceptional. What do you use it for? I don't know, put sticky on it. Your life together. Putting this joke together. life together.

Putting this joke together. Is that how Emma puts her vision board together for her second husband? No, no, no. I want to, can we be serious? Please. This special? Yeah. Okay. Look, I can't convince you guys to watch a female do comedy. I know that's not fair.

You can. If for no other reason, there's no politics, no secret TED Talk. It's not on an Oriental carpet of me talking about my hardships. There's no- But you can, though. We respect that here. Okay, we're pro. There's no secret like you can, though. We respect that here. Okay, we're pro. Like, there's no secret,

like, me coming out as gay and talking for 20 minutes with no jokes. It's just jokes beginning to end. Just jokes. Jokes, yeah, yeah. If I'm gonna do a TED Talk,

it'll be on TED.com. It's not gonna be after a... I'm not tricking anyone into watching me be boring. But... There's some specials out there now.

You're 100% right about this. 100% right about this. A hundred percent right about this, but you are great at jokes. Thank you. And you've had a lot of experience being great at jokes. Thank you. Not only great comedian,

but also just a great writer in general. Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate that. Like, I think I'm funniest. I mean this sincerely when I'm like thinking of stuff with you I

I think you're like cocaine you're doing great with these compliments by the way thank you no I mean that this I agree with

this I agree with you're like you're awesome it's just the energy you feed it and everything just kind of builds and you're just yeah it was a lot of fun

that's one of the best things ever like comics like to me there's so much weird comedy beef going on right now I'm like the idea that like comics aren't friends with things ever. Comics, to me, there's so much weird comedy beef going on right now. The idea that comics aren't friends with comics is so fucking wild to me. You know the comics that don't hang out with comics? Yeah.

Maybe they just want to enjoy their life. That's also part of it. Have you seen them? Are they? Yeah. I don't know because I don't hang out with any comics. Life is great. Phenomenal.

Have you been to a Malti? No comics. You don't see a single one. Fucking Rogan. He's at Keegs. He's picking off Swedish people from a cliff. Hunting Russians. Lex, move.

I come from the roasts. I come from roast rooms. I come from the first- Did you meet Trump when you roasted him? Yes. You like- Yes.

Was he cool? This is actually one of my favorite stories ever and it's, because that guy is first and foremost an entertainer. He was the number one

TV star in the world. I remember when this shit was happening. I was like, this, he's going to fucking win because he knows how to command attention. Yeah. Love it or hate it. And then the fucking most genius shit is remember one of the debates, he said, I'm not coming.

You guys need me more than I need you. He got more attention by not showing up than everyone else did by showing up. That guy attracts attention when he's not there. But did the roast. He demanded that it be in New York, which was kind of annoying because normally it's in LA. Before that, I had done Joan Rivers, David Hasselhoff, and then I wrote for Saget, Pam Anderson, Flavor Flav. And so we're shooting in New York and it's all these like old ass people. It's like Larry King and fucking all these idiots.

Oh, Jerry Springer, like all his friends. May he rest in peace. Yeah, I remember. I think I started with, you guys, let's speed this up before Larry King dies. Like, I think it was. And I'm hammering him. And there was an off-limits thing.

Every roast has an off-limits, right? Shatner was the dead woman in the pool. Okay. Remember William Shatner had a dead woman. His wife died in the pool, drowned? Something? Let's fuck up your algorithm. And then Pam Anderson was the kid in the pool

because a kid drowned. At one of their parties. At one of their parties. Oh, my. Joan Rivers was her daughter, Melissa. Can't make fun of her. And then Hulk Hogan said we couldn't make fun of his daughter. And then I don't remember.

What did I? Yeah, Shatner's wife died in the pool. Oh, yeah. That's rough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, right. And then, yeah, right. And then so for, who is this? Trump.

Trump, it was not even Ivanka, weirdly. It was Melania. And I just was like, I'm not cutting. I mean, I had like four pages of fucking Melania jokes. And I was like, you know, because she also did QVC at the time. So I was doing jokes. It's like, you know, about that. And then, oh, the diamond.

You shouldn't have gotten Melania such a big diamond diamond ring now she knows what hard is supposed to feel like his dick constantly his fucking shitty uh like real estate stuff whatever like it was like people don't know like we're talking making fun of his hair we're making fun of his dick like how bad he is a business like naming and he was like dying laughing the whole time get off stage and he pulls me close puts his hand on my lower back and goes, fire. Huh? Fire. Fire? Oh, fire. He goes, I thought he was going to be mad. He goes,

that was great television. Wow. Great television. He gets it. Think about that. Great. That was funny. That was not funny. That was mean. It was great. It doesn't fucking matter what I think. That was great television because he looked like he was upset and he was kind of like playing it up i think he was kind of like oh man like he was sort of like whoo and then he was like great television

like we were in on it together it was weird because i was really coming for him and i didn't hurt him at all any other interaction with him um not really he did ask for my number though no he didn't yeah you said yes or no i don't. He asked through like an agent and I don't remember what I said. That's a yes. So yeah, I don't know if he didn't call me or not, but he didn't call me then. Now, do you feel a sense of rejection that he didn't reach out? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My pussy's easy to grab. What is that, by the way? What is that? Was there something about the grabbing by the pussy that I didn't get?

What do you mean? Like, is that a thing that is done? What, just grabbing that monkey? Just. Pops. What happens when you grab someone's pussy? Is that like a thing? Or was that something you guys heard it and were like, oh, what is that?

It's just the craziest thing to like get a girl to come over. that? It's just the craziest thing to get a girl to come over. Yeah. Yes, it's a wild thing to do. Yeah. That's what's great about it. I think he was being hyperbolic. I think that's what it is. He was just making great television.

Yeah, he was making great television. Off camera, even. Making great audio. Yeah. He didn't even know anyone was listening. Second only to Mel Gibson. Have you listened to Mel Gibson's Meltdown lately? There's another one?

Oh, no. This is the old one. The original one. I re-listened to it Gibson's Meltdown lately? There's another one? Oh, no. This is the old one. The original one. I re-listened to it. When he's calling the wife. My Lakers tickets! No. The one where he's like,

I gave up my Lakers tickets. When he talks about the gang, you're going to get gang banged. Yeah, the Russian whore that, yeah, took all his money. She was a Russian whore, though, too.

That's the thing. These Amber Heards have existed for a while. Interesting. Wow. Right? Interesting. Have you met Amber Heard? I existed for a while. Interesting. Right? Interesting. Have you met Amber Heard? I have not,

but I saw her one time at an upfront event. Did she look healthy? Did she look unscathed? This was when she was on a show called The Playboy Show, and she played a Playboy bunny on a short-lived show on NBC about Hugh Hefner or something. The way she posed on a red carpet

sent chills down my spine. Why? What'd she do? So normally when you're on a red carpet, you're awkward, you're weird. If anyone enjoys that, they're psychopaths. It's awkward, it's embarrassing. It's the worst. And what are you supposed to think? Like, fuck me? What's a healthy thought on a red carpet?

So for me, I'm really bad at it, but I think that's probably a good thing. She does this thing. She was going down the red carpet. I'm probably off camera. We have everything. But she would go like this. So the cameras are here, right? She'd put her head down and go.

Whoa. And then take her step to go to the next one and put her head down again. Oh, yeah, that's creepy. Do you know what I'm saying? It was like she had a process. Like reanimating every time she moved over. Well, yeah, and then down so they couldn't get a bad photo, and then...

Whoa. Oh, so the only... That's actually smart. It's very smart, but, like, we're smart people. We wouldn't have thought of it because we're not going to dedicate time. We don't care about our red carpet photos. I know, but imagine. I wish I did after I saw all the pictures.

At an MVC. From your fucking movie premiere. Do you know the one where I have leukemia? Remember that one? Oh my God, dude. Dude, you look- Crazy. Yes.

I've got a million pictures they could use. You look like Saget's sister. The girlfriend experience. Yeah. Wait, dude, we need to get him some zinc. I know, dude. Vitamin B12 shot. Oh, this is pre-

Look at the under eyes, dude. It's brutal. What were you going through, bro? I don't know, man. Vitamin B12 shot. Oh, this is pre. Look at the under eyes, dude. It's brutal. What were you going through, bro? I don't know, man. That was a rough time. This is bad. That was a rough time. This is American history X energy.

Yeah, dog. This is, what's up with the. No, but. Scurvy? What is that? Were you doing a comedy cruise for the week? There's no lens. What's wrong with this? Because you played a gay cruise for the week? There's no weapons. What's why is this?

Because you played a gay guy on that show. You had to look like you had AIDS. Oh, man. Holy shit. What is it? Did Johnny Carson? What the fuck is Johnny? Dying of AIDS.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dying of AIDS up here? Dying of... Hey, he also got butt fucked in a bathroom in that show. I didn't get buttfucked. You guys have that in common. I didn't get buttfucked.

Yes, you did. Stop it. Yes, you did. He knows exactly. He didn't say it. I didn't get buttfucked. Bent over? There's no proof

I got buttfucked. But there was a scene where you had to? There's circumstantial evidence he got buttfucked. That's what you might say. I don't know. My character would never

let that happen to him. There's no proof of this. There's no proof of what happens. There's no proof whatsoever. There's no proof whatsoever. Did you no proof of what happens there's no proof whatsoever did you make friends

with Jim Carrey on that no he wasn't on it but he produced it I thought no no no if he produced it

it probably would have got more than one season that's probably true no it was what's the guy's name fucking A I feel so bad oh god

what's his name Paul Reiser Paul Reiser oh dude I love he's great he was phenomenal I? Paul Reiser. Paul Reiser. He's great. He's phenomenal. One of your big influences, right? He is actually sort of the first concept I had of like that comedy was written. I was at a yard sale when I was a kid. I was probably 12 years old and I found a book at the yard sale called Couplehood. I love him talking about my hero and I'm like, your book was at a yard sale. Like I picked it out of the trash.

And that book, Couplehood, I remember reading it and going, like, oh, my God, like, you can be funny on purpose. Like, you can, I know I'm not making any sense, but I remember going, like, oh. You can plan comedy. The way he's putting that, and it was also, it reflected the way that I think I always thought I was, like, so neurotic and crazy because I would obsess over little things, like doilies. I was, like, doing bad comedy when I was a kid. I'd be like, well, what's the point of, you're just going to get the do neurotic and crazy because I would obsess over little things like doilies. I was like doing bad comedy when I was a kid. I'd be like, well, what's the point

of you just getting the doily dirty? Like I would obsess over stupid shit and that's what he was doing in that book and I was like, oh, you can do that.

Yeah. Like as people like it. Yeah. They don't think it's crazy. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. But yeah,

he's working a ton as an actor right now. Like he's in Stranger Things. Yeah, he's in Stranger Things. Great. He's in Maisel. By the way, I love that Joe Rogan's

favorite show is Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like isn't that Stranger Things. He's in Maisel. By the way, I love that Joe Rogan's favorite show is Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like isn't that the sweetest when every now and then he's like, have you seen this show? He's like,

here's my new bow and my medieval armor. Have you seen the show Kimmy Schmidt? It is so good. You're like, what the fuck is your life? Like it's so wild to me.

Just goes around in like woolly mammoth bones. And he's just like, have you seen Amelie in Paris? Like what? I love the shows that he watches. It's so endearing. He's legit with that bow. I'm not going to lie. I was doing the episode and then he has like a shooting range in the studio,

not in the studio, but in the warehouse that he has. And he got the bone arrow. He brought one arrow. And he walked to the back of the thing. And it's probably like, I don't know, 150 feet away. And there's a fake elk there. And the fake elk has a box on it that's that big, that's black.

And he just adjusts some shit on the arrow, puts it up. Oh, that was his black square for Black Lives Matter? Yes. Yes. Yes. He did something. He knew it. Yes. And he did that shit.

He doesn't do performative activism. He does it in private. Exactly. That's exactly. Did you put up the black square? I'm sure I did. Like, I'm sure I'm like, I'm sure I did. Like, I'm sure I would do some basic shit like that. Like I probably put it up knowing I,

knowing I was going to get shit and like, then like archived it. I bet I did some basic. Can we check to see if you boxed it? please don't. Yes. No, because I remember I was getting a bunch of shit for it.

I think I was talking to Donnell. It was like Donnell and like a couple people. And they're like, just put it up. Like, that's the right thing to do. I think Donnell was, was he not about putting it up or something? He was like, white people should put it up. We shouldn't have to. At least at the time.

I'm sure every day it probably changed. Like, one minute it was probably the right thing to do. And then it was corny. And then it was disrespectful. And then it was like, why didn't you put it up? You know, whatever. I think a couple of people who I. I'm going back.

I'm going back. You keep going. I'm just doing research. That's all. That's all. Good feed, though. I'll be honest. This is good.

Feed. Feed. OK. Feed. Feed. But so what happened? Did he get the. He shot it right in the. Yeah. One. And I was like, oh, wow, this is this. Feed. Feed. Feed. But so what happened? Did he get the, he shot it right in the.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, wow, this is, this is legit. This is legit. I do worry sometimes that Joe is just going to be like, fuck this. And just, it's going to like make knives. You know what I mean? He should. Can't you see him just like make.

No. He loves it too much. Okay, good. Because I do feel like there, he might get into pottery or something. No, like, he might. That's the thing I realized. Like, he's the type of guy that, like, and we talked about this a little bit on the pod, but, like, he gets incredibly passionate about things and becomes successful about them.

Sometimes they're business. Sometimes they're just pleasure. But whatever it is, if it's hunting, it's the most... I'm going to need to hunt the most extreme thing, and I'm going to be the best at a bow. He figures the fucking thing out. But don't you think we're all comedians or hunters by nature? Okay, go on then.

When it's your movie, you've got this premise, and you're trying to get it. I feel like we're kind of hunters in that way. Hunter for the joke. We are... I know this is a metaphor I'm stretching, but it's- That's the gayest way

to describe hunting. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for calling that. No, there's no stakes. A joke won't kill me in my sleep. You know what I mean?

A premise has never strangled me. No, but I'm saying the way we approach it, you're like, it's kind of fine. I only have five specials. What the fuck would I know?

You know, we're like paleontologists. We're digging. Something pussy. You know the way you feel. Because to me, the way he gets obsessed with getting this fucking elk that he could just go get at the grocery store in 20 minutes. Like, the way we are with a premise when you can't fucking drop it. We love comedy. And I think that's something we really care about.

I think there are people who have passions. We were talking about this on the podcast, but I think it's an interesting conversation. It's like, when you're passionate about something, it doesn't even really matter how much it costs, right? If you aren't passionate about something and you just have a hobby that makes you look cool, then there's resentment, right?

So if you're like- Joe has a hobby that makes him look dorky. Because he loves it. I know. I'm like, dude, that fanny So if you're like- Joe has a hobby that makes him look dorky. Because he loves it. I know. I'm like doing that fanny pack. You're Joe Rogan. How do you look dorky right now? And we were talking about Jay Leno,

who's like I think the perfect example. It's like he probably has tens of millions of dollars worth of cars. He has 11 garages. I've been. And you've been, okay. Nobody goes, oh, that's a waste of money. Nobody says like, oh God, look at this guy.

They're starving kids in Africa. Because he's so passionate about every single one of the cars. He knows every single nut and bolt and everything. goes, oh, that's a waste of money. Nobody says, oh, God, look at this guy. They're starving kids in Africa. Because he's so passionate about every single one of the cars. He knows every single nut and bolt and everything. And they're not all Ferraris. Some of them. Expensive cars. Exactly.

No, like the Saudi prince cars. They're not those. And it'll be like a Mazda Miata. And you're like, what's so great about this? Oh, this was the only one that was made. Blah, blah, blah. It's the first one off the fucking thing. So I think that we recognize that. And I think that like when you see someone who's passionate about something, even if that passion is expensive, you go, oh man, this person really loves that thing.

Yes. I'm okay with it. Yes. I think we resent money when somebody's really just trying to impress us with the money. So we're like, well, you want to impress me, give me money. Yeah. That's the most impressive thing. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second.

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First month free, $5 shipping. BlueChew.com. Use the promo code flagrant. First month free, $5 shipping. You're welcome. Let's get back to the show. Wait a minute. Talking about Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah.

You did a show with her. I executive produced and ran the reboot of Roseanne. Is that what you meant to say? I actually wanted to ask her about this. Are they different? And that song by the police.

They're like $800 million different. Hold on, hold on. Does it? I thought Rosie O'Donnell plays Roseanne in the show Roseanne. I think that's the same person. No, Roseanne is a fucking beast on stage. Rosie, I haven't seen her stand up really that recently for sure. She's the one that sang the national anthem that one time. That, Roseanne is a fucking beast on stage. Rosie, I haven't seen her stand up really that recently

for sure. She's the one that sang the National Anthem that one time. That's Roseanne Barr. That's Fergie. And she spit. Oh, they might have both, but remember Roseanne famously spit on the thing and pissed everybody off? I thought that was Rosie O'Donnell. Now I don't know. Y'all are like, you know what, you're like me and John Candy

and John Goodman. It's the same. I know what you're doing. I would never John Candy and John Goodman. It's the same. I know what you're doing. I would never mistake you with John Goodman. Which one? Very different. Which one did you do the show with? Do they let you talk? I'm just curious.

I'm trying to figure out what's going on. Me too. Me too. I'm trying to figure out what's going on me too so Roseanne Barr is different than Rosie O'Donnell I'm still confused I don't know what Rosie O'Donnell is Roseanne I EP'd the

reboot which 20 years later came out and it was massive I mean it was 25 million people brilliant idea and then she was a sort of publicly. How much do you make on that? I probably made 600 grand.

Yeah, for 10 episodes maybe. Each episode you make 600 grand. No, no, no, no. I think I took home that after like commissions and all that. And then do you get like a piece of the show? How does it work? No, because number one, it was a reboot. So it had already been created, you know?

And Roseanne already got kind of screwed on creator credit and stuff like that. Like, you know, because this is like 25 years ago. She was like pushed around. And even though it was all her idea, you know, she had three kids and then became a stand-up. At like 45, 40 something, you know? Think about that. How crazy that is. Didn't she adopt a kid? 25 years ago. She has know? Like that, think about that. How crazy that is. Didn't she adopt a kid?

25 years ago. She has a couple adopted, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Which is just, can you imagine? I thought she only had one adopted kid. She's hilarious. Are the adopted kids black?

Because if so, you could probably get out of that tweet if you wanted to, you know, if she wanted to. Say what? If one of the adopted kids is black, she could probably get out of being racist with that tweet. Yeah, I think that would work. Yeah. Yeah. Agree. She had the foresight.

For sure. Listen, I didn't want to have to talk about such a traumatic time in your life. What? Rosie? With Rosie. No, it wasn't traumatic. I just like, I had to be in the middle of this fucking nightmare. What did you think about it?

It didn't cross my radar. Oh, got it. Yeah, there we go. We were actually... Do you even have a camera on? Is there even a camera on you? I'm waiting for you to breathe, and then I'll jump in.

And then I'll jump in, but you got it. Have you ever created a show with someone who didn't get cancelled? No! By the way, literally no. Dude, the show before that, how about this, bitch?

The show before that, I was playing- Thank God I didn't do that HBO show with you. The day before that, I was playing Alec Baldwin's daughter in a show. No.

How? Dodged a bullet. But how? How could you be his daughter? We were. Like adopt it? I don't understand this. Those are two very good jokes that y'all both missed from each other.

No, I dodged a bullet. Oh, I got that. That was good. Don't touch my finger like that. Wait a minute. Hold on. But you played his daughter in what? We were developing a show with your boy Kenya Barris

yeah yeah yeah south of Kenya yes and and Alec Baldwin biological daughter how old is Alec Baldwin have you young or something

how young what's up what's up I'm not doing this I'm not doing this what is it a teenage pregnancy what was it

what was it what was it hey hey was it? What was it? Hey, you! He's 64. I like to ride the bus. Alec Baldwin is 64. 64. I'm 39.

Wait, you're... 25, you do your difference. Yeah, 25, your difference. That's kind of... He had me when he was... He was 24. He would have had me when he was 24. Yeah.

That's what I said, a young child. Is that the age of your wife? No. I don't need to say anything. I'm just curious why that was a familiar number. It was her and her friend. Before she started slipping. Oh my God, it's too bad I got to edit that.

I was like, I know Andrew. I was like, what do I get them as a edit that. I was like, I know Andrew. I was like, what do I get them as a wedding gift? I'm like, I'm going to get her a makeup artist. She's like, oh, I don't need one of those. I was like, trust me. I said that or she said that? Oh, yeah. No, you did give her a good present.

Well, that was a good present because I didn't want her to get emotional and then have to think about it. I wanted to be able to take off her plate having to think about the way she looked on her wedding day, whether she used the makeup or not, just knowing someone was there. Oh, to like look after her the whole time. To outsource the anxiety of like having to put makeup on. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it made her feel very good. Yeah. And I appreciate that. Yeah. And then I also took one for the team. That was a very thoughtful present you also gave me.

I have to take that out of my backpack, but the one that you gave me when I did your podcast. That was, I still regret giving you that gift. I haven't taken it out of my backpack. You should because with your thing where you just pour liquids out on things, you should because that is, I got, I did, Rick Rubin is doing a documentary series

on Rodney Dangerfield, and he gave me three pieces of paper that were Rodney original, that he wrote his Tonight Show sets. He wrote out every word, even the things you think were improvised, you know. It sort of feels weird to say that about a comic. It's almost like you're throwing them under the bus.

Like, they wrote out their improv, but like, it was just so Rodney, you know? And so I kept two pieces, and I gave Andrew the third one for his that's sick you have it here that's amazing

I have it you almost spilled on it in the show yeah I was gonna say yeah you should frame it soon that is giving me some anxiety I'm going to frame it where is it

it's in my backpack where like you have it right now I feel like you're pranking me or something like that I don't think you know where it is

he doesn't think you value it he thinks you don't give a shit about the gift. Yeah. No, can I tell you? He got really serious. He got really, I've never seen Andrew, like, he, like, got, he didn't make a joke. He didn't call me old. Like, he just, he wasn't like.

I don't ever call you old. But he wasn't like, oh, did Rodney give you this after the show? Like, he didn't do that. I mean, Rodney could be your dad. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Alec Baldwin's not that young. He's 64.

But this is actually better. He goes, I don't give a fuck. Wait, wait, wait. How did you get it? So Alec Baldwin wanted me to play his daughter in a show. He just wanted to do a show with me. No, no. How'd you get the notes? I thought you wrote it with Rodney Danger. I thought that... Did you just do the joke?

I basically did. He did, but it was funny. Did you just give in your fucking mean ass joke a guest on Johnny Carson? It's so funny when a man does it. It's just like so different.

It's like you said it and we didn't hear it and then he said it. It is funnier when a guy does it. It's wild. Because it's meaner. Yeah.

It's just meaner and mean is kind of It's wild. Because it's meaner. Yeah. It's just meaner. And mean is kind of funny. Always. Yeah. I love it. I'm a really big fan of play fighting and sparring. Jews? Something I don't say often.

Come again? No, you're a big fan of play fighting and sparring. Like, like, go back and forth. Like, I grew up, like, as I get older... I don't even regret saying that. I divide people into... You're not old. Into categories.

Do I have to convince you you're not old? Is that people... DC and AD. Thank you. People, these are like two. How old are you? Half my body's only like're not old. It's like people- DC and AD. Thank you. People, these are like two. How old are you? Half my body's only like two years old. Did you have-

Sorry. Sorry. Can I just tell one joke? Because this is like, I feel like you guys are into jokes here, believe it or not. You tell it, then Andrew will retell it. Yeah, I can't wait to hear it. You do it. I'll do the shitty version, which is when I did the roast of Joan Rivers.

I know why you look so young here. I know now. What? Oh. I was like, why does she look so fucking youthful? So when he steps on my punchline, you don't do anything?

Nope. Am I co-hosting a podcast with you or what? That's my boy. No, no, sorry. You're just sitting next to him right now. Does he make you move your seat back? Leave it! Is this part of the contract

that you have to be four inches high? Is that the Rosa Parks scene? Are you in your seat back? Riding the bus with his brother. That's what they're doing. Is that why this is the Parks project? Yes, exactly. No, go, go, go, go.

Well, no, it's Joan Rivers, and I said I wanted to do a joke that said for comedy fans. You went to elementary with her, right? No, go, go, go, go. Well, no, it's Joan Rivers. And I said, I wanted to do a joke that said, for comedy. You went to elementary with her, right? No, no, no. We worked in the Chinese. You taught her in elementary school, right? We worked at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory together.

That's fire, dude. Okay, go. Miles. Miles got nuance. Nuance sense of humor right there that's some fucking DeVry university shit let's go

okay go so Joan Rivers has had so much plastic surgery every year she books Montreal New Faces that's funny

it's a good joke but it was such an inside comedy joke it's about the Montreal New Faces festival yeah only comics are gonna get that

yeah so I actually chickened out on that one but I did at the time I remember I think this was the joke that kind of was like the one. I think that everyone sort of was like, oh, a woman can maybe be funny for like a minute. Which was this at the time. Sorry.

Sorry, Jesus. He's like, has to make noise. You know what you're like when fucking the fans from the opposite team fucking hold the doodlies while someone's trying to shoot a free throw? That's what you're doing. I'm just listening to you. I'm enjoying everything you're saying. You're a woman talking. It's not a profitable business.

It's my favorite. It is profitable. You made tens of millions of dollars. Do people know how rich you are? You're so rich. Thank you. Do you? Do you? Yeah a relief now that you're married?

I feel like I want you to finish your story. That's what I feel like. Oh, I don't know why. I just thought you might want to talk about yourself. No, I want to talk about you. I like talking about you. I opened with Joan. I loved you in The Wrestler. That's hilarious. I know. The Wrestler. That's hilarious.

That's great. I know. That's great. Great joke. That's great. Joan Rivers is so old, her pussy has a separate entrance for Black Cocks.

That's hilarious! Good joke. Good joke. That was good. I got the job writing for the roasts on the Flavor Flav roast. I wasn't allowed to be on it yet, but I wrote a joke

that some more ended up doing, which was for Flavor Flav, and I wasn't allowed to be on it yet, but I wrote a joke that Samore ended up doing, which was for Flavor Flav, and the joke was, Flav, you look like what Magic Johnson should look like right now. Just... Wow! Yo! I love a one-sentence roast joke. If you can do a one-sentence,

because people start to get your rhythm. Boom! And it's like. What was your first one? First roast I was on was Joan Rivers. It was Joan Rivers. Yes. And that really, I think I remember stuff from that. By the way, I also did, the way I was able to get on it is I had to make a tape when I did a Friars Club roast of Steve Tisch, who is the owner.

From NYU? Yes. It was like a private roast. The Tisch, who is the owner. From NYU? Yes. It was like a private roast. The Tisch family owns a giant. And I did the Quentin Tarantino one. Remember when the Friars Club I was Tarantino. Was that fun? He was great. And he had a good sense of humor. No likes feet. But you know what else?

I was fucking on some shit, man. It was Weinstein, Brett Ratner, like the whole group of people was nuts. And none of them tried to fuck you? I did. I know.

Isn't that embarrassing? A little bit. I know, but. That's how you know you're funny, dude. I don't need Mace. I have this personality. I've never had a fucking problem.

Wait a minute, really? Yeah. And what I do for Harvey Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein has fucked so many whores. He doesn't have the clap. He has the applause.

That's good. That's funny. And then it was like, don't laugh, Brett. You have a standing ovation. Now, did Weinstein ever holler at any of your friends? Weinstein came to the comedy store one night to see me. And it was when Tommy was working there. And this was after the roast. After the roast, he met me. Tommy, maybe explain to the people. And it was when Tommy was working there. And this was after the roast.

After the roast, he met me. Tommy, maybe explain to the people. Tommy, I'm sorry. Tommy was someone that ran the comedy store at the time. He is no longer there. Him leaving coincided with the rise in popularity. Save to the comedy store. Rogan came back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Black people came back. It was a whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Weinstein came in one night and uh this was after the so he had met me at the roast and then was like I'm gonna go see her at a comedy club whatever and um I'm like you're coming to a comedy club you're the least ravey person in here um but uh he I was just in the fucking green room at the comedy store like um sorry no I'm I'm too old for that um I'd already seen three dicks today what's another dick

and so he uh came in and then I left because you know in LA we do three four spots we pop around and so I left to go to the improv or something and then Tommy called me was like hey Harvey Weinstein's here like you gotta you got to, like, come. And I remember being like, I have a spot. Like, what am I going to do? And then I didn't go back. This is how fucking dumb I was. I was like, I don't want him to see me in that lighting.

Like, whatever good just happened, if he's going to hire me, that's the best I can do. Like, I'm not going to let him see me look like Steve Buscemi in the fucking shadows at the comedy store. So I just never went back. You were worried about the way you looked in the lighting? The comedy store lighting, everyone looks like Steve Buscemi. Okay. Do you have dysmorphia about the way you look, you think? Maybe.

You think? Maybe a little? I mean, being friends with you doesn't help. I always say how beautiful you are. Roll the tape. I do. No beautiful you are. Roll the tape. I do. No, it's more like it just was like there's, I can only lose

by seeing him again, you know? It's like you've seen my work. No, that's smart. You've seen what I can do. I'm not going to go ruin it with my fucking personality and eye bags. You know, it's just in my brain. Are you the most beautiful comic ever? It's a valid question if you look at other comics.

I just thought of it. Like, come on. Do you do stand-up? Yes, he does. An insult and a compliment. That's great. I'll take that. We're not talking about men.

Okay. Yeah. You're not going to be able to compete with these guys. Can I tell you, Sarah Silverman, she looks very pretty in real life. Dude, she is breathtaking. She is breathtaking. I mean, I feel like we said a nice thing, and then you made it. We have to be mean now.

We said a nice thing. Very pretty in real life. She's very pretty. I feel like we said a nice thing, and then you made it, we have to be mean now. We said a nice thing. Very pretty in real life. She's very pretty. I stand by what I said. I believe you do. I'm asthmatic. Air it, run it. I think you got Sarah Silver.

I'm just saying objectively. I think both of your heydays. I think it literally, no, I'm not. Do you think you're the most handsome comedian ever? No, I don't think I'm the most handsome. You looked at it. Do you think you're the most handsome comedian ever no I don't think I'm the most handsome

you looked at him do you think I'm the most handsome of course who do you think the most handsome comedian ever John Mulaney he's pretty handsome

he's handsome I don't think he's the most handsome there's different kinds of handsome you know different kinds of handsome no no no who's the most handsome comedian most handsome

like we know most handsome football player who Tom Brady Tom Brady probably Tom Brady's out there I mean Odell Beckham Jr. No, no, no. Who's the most handsome comedian? Like, we know most handsome football player. Who? Tom Brady. Tom Brady, probably. Tom Brady's up there. Odell Beckham Jr. is pretty hot. He's a handsome son of a bitch, dude.

If I knew more about football, I'd probably be better. Who's the most handsome comedian? Most handsome comedian, most handsome. Oh, Lenny Bruce? Was he handsome? Was he funny? He's asking you because you knew him. Was Lenny Bruce funny?

You used to open for Lenny Bruce. I feel like I would know. I used to watch him eat shit. Wait, was he not funny at all? No, I guess to me, I'm like, I, I, I, I, I, no, I love Lenny Bruce. George Carlin was my favorite. I am so curious what was like laugh out loud funny at the time. Yeah.

And what. Well, I think you also got to like judge things in the context of their time. Yeah. We always ask people to do that with like fucked up jokes, but you also got to do it with like humor. Like maybe the things that they were saying were just so rare for the time that people were finding it absolutely hilarious. And now so many people have copied them.

Like I was listening to like old Bruce shit and I've seen people do versions of the jokes today. And it was just a really cool, it was a joke about, like, I think he would have this black jazz musician on the road with him. And he would talk about, like, when white people, like, meet a black person, they're trying to prove that they're not racist. And it's like, for that time, that was like the first time white people were doing that shit. That's a funny observation. Like you still see that joke now. You see it in sitcoms now.

You see it in these TV shows. You see it in everything. For him to make that then, imagine what people in the audience were doing when they realized that they were actually saying those ridiculous stereotypical things. Like, oh my God, I love Watermelon too. Like that was like one of the fucking, that was one of the lines. Imagine that at the time though. That's wild. I'm like,

that's hilarious. Now you watch it, you're like, okay, that's kind of funny because you've seen a thousand fucking times. If you watch the Carlin doc,

you see what comedy was in the 50s and what he was doing early on and then what he became, you're like, I've never seen anything. There was nothing like that. It was revolutionary shit.

bring gender into this because I don't see gender. But the, That's pretty gay. When you look, pretty shit. Bring gender into this because I don't see gender. But the- That's pretty gay. When you look- Pretty gay. It's such a girl thing to say. When you look back

at Joan Rivers, like her sets, like her late night sets, dude, those jokes are fucking- Crazy. Awesome. She was supposed to-

They're so good. She was supposed to take over for Carson, right? Yes, she was. Then they had some kind of falling out because she like went and did some other show.

She got her own show on Fox and then her husband killed himself. Whoa. was the show that bad wait a minute really yes but carson was so upset that he wasn't he was like you're supposed to do take my shit don't go do this other thing yeah it's kind of fucked up and then that was it she was ousted from that yeah she was set her on a real probably shitty path yeah but she's like i look back at her shit and it is joke joke joke whereas like the guys are kind of telling these long stories which is like i mean to me i think it's interesting this time we're in like

podcasts not this one like i love this podcast is just fucking jokes like a lot of podcasts that male comedians do it's like just them talking about like their depression and like their anxiety attacks i'm like who it's amazing to me that male comics need to prove that they're like vulnerable and sad. Whereas like, I can't. Who specifically? I still need to prove that I'm funny. Like I still. Who specifically talks about that a lot?

I mean, look, don't, why are you, why are you doing this to me? Hey, I don't know. Which, you know, which person? Can you think of a specific person that talks a lot about that? Do you know? Because I don't even know.

I don't know either. Really? I have no clue. I feel like guys, like there's a lot of like, I need to talk about my panic attacks. Like, I hate that shit. I hate Woody Allen for that reason. I've never liked Woody Allen. Not the rape?

I don't like what? Hey, hey. That's your issue? The anxiety is the issue? It's not rape. Not the anxiety he gave Sunni at fucking 12 the issue? It's not rape. Not the anxiety against Sun Yi at fucking 12 years old? It's not rape. It's not rape if she was too young to speak yet.

Goo Goo Gaga does not mean no. That's not her name. It's Sun Yi. Jesus Christ, Whitney. Goo Goo Gaga. Goo goo gaga. Too soon. I don't like men bragging about being weak. It makes me sick.

That's sexist. Yeah. Why can't we be weak too? Fine. Okay. Cool. You got me. Now what am I gonna do oh god look um please watch all my specials all about how men and women are different not streaming sexism bought me a fucking mansion yes big why would i stop now? You go watch Whitney's jokes tomorrow, the next night, through the weekend.

If you have plans this weekend, go watch them shits. I won't be buying my special back anytime soon. I don't think. You should. What if people are stuck between which special to watch? What should they do then? If it's like a toss-up. Why?

What kind of person is this? I'm just saying, if they're busy, like, I have one night during the week where I'm not working, what am I going to watch, what should they do then? If it's like a toss-up. What kind of person is this? I'm just saying, if they're busy, like, I have one night during the week where I'm not working, what am I going to watch? You know? Which one should they watch? I think they should watch Whitney's. Oh, that's nice of you. I think they should watch Whitney's. Here's what I'll say. If you are a guy, can I tell you something?

The number of guys that come up to me This is why. Go. That are like, dude, I told this girl that I like watch your... Like, you will fuck your dick off.

Clean off your body. That's how you sell a special. Yo, that's how you sell a special, bro. It's like a blue chew ad. Wait a minute. Say this again? What is it?

Guys are always like, dude, like, ever since I started like telling girls I like know you or watch your specials, I'm like...

Is there anybody specifically that used that to get laid? Yo, this is so good. That actually hurt. I hope you got footage of that because I will sue him for every Bitcoin he made off his special. How much do you get paid in crypto? I'm just curious. No crypto. How much Dogecoin?

No crypto. Nothing. Are you doing Schultz tokens? No, no, no. Thank God we didn't do the fucking crypto thing. Yeah, yeah. I did. Remember when Tim Dillon had his break with reality and he was on Rogan being like,

dude, you got to get Rogan coins. And Rogan being like dude you gotta get Rogan coins and Rogan's like do ya Rogan you see him for a second being like oh wait a second is this some shit

I need to know about yeah he's like I'll stick to fanny packs and mushroom pills no but seriously Whitney Cummings jokes we're all watching this week

I love you I think you're absolutely brilliant I love you and I listened to some of you on Joe it was really fun it was so good you guys are freaking I had a great I think you're absolutely brilliant. I love you and I listened to some of you on Joe. It was really fun. It was so good. I had a great time with you. Also, you should

check out our episode if you have some time. Whitney's got a great podcast, but I think you're an absolutely brilliant comedian. You're like literally, I think I'm funniest when I'm hanging out with you and that means a lot to me obviously. So I think you're awesome. I know that your head is like push back. You're squinting as I'm complimenting you. No, I'm trying to look younger. But you're awesome.

Thank you. You're welcome. And I want everybody to look younger but you're awesome thank you you're welcome and I want everybody to go check it out right now go check out Whitney Cummings can you get your dog some water I think she's I will

that's what I've been thinking about bye everybody