Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Zoom Jerkin IS BACK! w/ Israel “Stylebender” adesanya

Episode Date: June 15, 2021

Join the Flagrant crew as they talk about this week's topics and are joined by the CHAMP: STYLEBENDER 0:00 - START 1:00 - French president got slapped 7:00 - Celebs fighting celebs, who would Schulz fight? 10:41 - Lizzo’s big girl summer 21:00 - Schulz’s date to the Van Gogh exhibit 24:00 - Andrew fighting Chris Cuomo and Dave Portnoy 29:00 - Nate Diaz, Leon Edwards and Jake Paul 33:00 - Schulz v Cuomo 42:00 - Back in with Nate Diaz, Leon Edwards and Jake Paul 54:00 - Israel STYLEBENDER Adesanya joins the podcast 1:06:00 - Jeffrey Toobin zoom talk 1:24:00 - F*** and Ozone 1:36:00 - Come surfing with Schulz in Jersey 1:37:31 - Jokic got a Flagrant 2 1:48:00 - Christian Erikson collapse 1:59:00 - Big shoutout to Saagar 2:00:13 - Bachelorette is curious about AN*L 2:27:00 - Playing King or Cuck

Hold it and I reversed it straight away and I put him I got him like that, you know, you know what i'm talking about You know when you're in the bedroom like that december 25th, chris chris cuomo versus andrew schultz. Let's do it yo, chris is dead one of like a Grand return back to the flagrant two arms and they didn't want the tesla at all. That's what they did Because they saw I didn't have the auto So I didn't have the auto drive. What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flavor 2.

It's your boy, Schultz. I got Aakash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, and a truffle in a building. And there's a lot of things that I want to talk about. I don't know if we should start with the fact that you can slap the president of France for four months in jail. Is he worth it? That's worth it, yo. That's what the guy got. The guy slapped the president of france for four months in jail seems worth it that's worth it yo that's what the guy got the guy slapped the president of france in his fucking stupid face and he's only going to jail for four months in france french jail yeah yeah it's like a club med i think right yeah i don't even think it's real jail it's not swedish i mean swedish jail probably the best or like nor like Norwegian or something like that.

But French jail can't be that bad, right? You're eating French food at the very least. That's fine dining. That's fine dining. You're having way better food than you might have at your average fast food restaurant here in America. Absolutely. Four months, you get to learn French. Learn French.

Come out. You're just mopping up pussy all throughout Europe and the United States afterwards. And you get to be the guy that slapped the shit out of the president of France. This is a study abroad. This is a study abroad. I cannot fathom a better way to spend

four months after slapping the shit out of a president. That's great. Especially if you train for it. You want to kind of come down. There's no training. You could train to slap. Think, you want to kind of come down. Train? Yeah. There's no training. Oh, you could train to slap. Think about this.

Let's think about this. How can she slap? Even the way you sound like that. Why did it sound like it's just built in? It's built in. Here's the thing. You could make, what'd they make? A couple hundred thousand dollars, the YouTube versus TikToker guys?

Maybe they made a few million. Who knows what the fuck they made, right? The guy that slapped the shit out of the president of France, if he markets this, right? Oh, millions. Dude, first of all, he should have worn a glove. Imagine you wore a glove and that was the glove

that slapped the shit out of the president of France. NFT, now I'm back on NFTs. What are you going to slap him with the glove? You slap him with, that's the most French way to do it. You slowly take off

the glove. It's disrespectful, dog. Extra disrespect. Fucking like that. I'm just saying, don't you have to set a precedent? It's almost like the justice system in France is like,

please slap the shit out of, you know, our members of government. We would like to incentivize you to do that. Maybe they don't like them. I mean,

haven't they already had a revolution where they overthrew the fucking king and queen or whatever? Then they beheaded queen. They beheaded the king. They let them eat cake, bitch. Louis. Oh, no, no, no, no.

You're thinking Marie Antoinette. Yeah, I don't know what happened to her. She wants people to eat cake. She's an entitled cunt. She don't sound that much different than these snobby girls today, though. She was like, there's no bread that people came to her. There's no bread. People are starving.

And then she goes, well, then let them eat cake. Because that's what she does when there's no bread in her fridge that doesn't exist yet. She says, well, I guess I'll have some cake to tide me over to the morning, you dumb twat. The additional penalty on the four months was you can't run for office for five years. Because maybe they think that by doing that, he'll actually get super popular. That is hilarious. Oh, God. I love this guy. I got gotta find this guy. This is kind of the same thing I have with egg boy. Do you remember this egg boy the guy who smash an egg? Yeah on whose head the Australian senators?

That's right And the kid became like a legend like you super famous in fairness He smashed an egg on like there's some people didn't like yes He was just like a far-right senator, but like he became a legend like i think he like sold merch and shit son like why are we trying to fight like other social media celebrities i'm calling out sitting people in government currently right now right the cyclops from texas what's his name dan crenshaw dan crenshaw right july 4th. Me and you. Okay? Let's do it. We'll donate all the money to freedom.

Financial freedom. For me. Okay? I'm coming, Dan Crenshaw. Would that be fucked up? No. Why don't we challenge people in government? 100%.

Let's get a girl to fight AOC. Taylor, we need you on AOC. Let's get a girl to fight AOC. Taylor versus AOC would be a fucking wall. Fuck Taylor versus AOC. be a fucking fuck Taylor versus AOC what's the shorty that could probably beat me up the rapper

Young M.A. Young M.A. versus AOC oh bro that's not even fair why what happened because I was thinking like a nice little

sexy fight and shit like that listen if the ha ha are in the fight it's gonna be fire AOC got enough heavies from both of them I don't want Young M.A. shirt it's going to be fire. MC got enough heavies from both of them.

I don't want a Young M.A. shirt coming off. Young M.A. might have some heavies, bro. Yo, she might have sneak heavies that we would never talk about. No disrespect, Young M.A., you know what I'm saying? No disrespect at all, because I know you rode the shooters. We already have enough fucking shootings in this neighborhood. We'll get to that in a second. We couldn't get to work today, everybody, because there was a murder outside.

New York is back. It's back, baby. Al got to work early when you think about it. Oh, wait. Yo, Al. Hey. Hey. Why are you snitching?

What you doing? I was like, I refuse to be late. One more time to work. Clap, clap, motherfucker. Didn't Al show up in his least threatening outfit possible? No, he should have been a gang uniform. The guy's literally wearing a bandana. Holy shit. That's the GD. You're a GD, right? Yo, chill out. Yo, isn't that a thing? That's a thing. GD's. Good dick. Go do it though. Good dick. Yo do the good dick. But Al could have been the one who did the murder.

And because of the murder, this is the best part, Dove's car was parked on the street that he was trying to sell to Akash, right? And Akash is trembling about the decision. He's back and forth. He don't know if he's actually going to do it. It's a little bit of a seesaw. And all he needed is one reason not to get the car. And now Akash

can't get his new Tesla from Dove because it's part of a murder investigation. I show up to work. And you want to know the craziest thing that Dove doesn't want to share, but I'm going to share it anyway. I'll share it. All right, go. Will you? Because I didn't get a text. Under 25 miles in your Tesla, certain things shut off, like low power mode.

Right. Right? And Dove delivers the car with under 25 miles. You know what shuts off? The camera that just films shit around the block. Oh. off like low power mode right right and dove delivers the car with under 25 miles you know it shuts off the camera that just films shit around the block so dove could have solved the murder but we don't snitch here at flagrant but also i'll snitch i'll snitch the car snitch that tesla stock would really uh skyrocket that is true that is true talk bro okay but back so we don't get off on this you can beat up a government official and only get four months or not beat up

but slap one in the fucking mouth i think if you punch it's like two years probably two years okay but yo slap is more disrespectful i was watching the ds fight i was like yo this is so much cooler so much and i want to get into the nate and all that stuff but why we're trying to fight other social media celebrities. That's the kind of wild thing to do. You make a bunch of money. You got to pick the person that you fight specifically. People keep going now.

Oh, Schultz, who are you going to fight? Who are you going to fight? I'm not fighting anybody. There's one guy I would fight. Dan Crenshaw. Outside of Dan Crenshaw and any other politician. I'll literally fight any politician. Yo, Jesse, the body Ventura got to get back into politics

because I want all the smoke. Arnold? You want Arnold? I would fight any politician. Yo, Jesse the body Ventura got to get back into politics. Because I want all the smoke. Arnold? You want Arnold? I will fight Arnold now. I got a bad ticker, dog. He got a bad ticker? I'm going to punch him right in his chest like Iron Man. I'm punching him right in his fucking chest.

What about the guy who's doing P90X? Ryan something? Who? Fuck it. He was a young politician. He's out now. But Ryan something. The gay guy?

Yeah, he looked a little gayish. The one that they got out of here because he was gay? He redecorated his office? Wait, what? Yeah, he like- Oh, I didn't know he was actually gay. He diverted. He just looked mad.

He had rumors of being gay, right? There was rumors bubbling about it. And it just so happened that he redirected funds for his campaign, like $40,000 to redecorate his office. Wait, Paul Ryan? Paul Ryan. Is that it? Paul Ryan. yeah he was gay they got him out of here because they were about to come out with it come on son look at the dude he redecorated his office isn't that the gayest shit he looked like one of those dudes you was watching early on tiktok that just smiled at the fucking camera don't even get me started on tiktok he says gay marriage is

not an american human value no not gay Ryan. That's the super gay. Wait, that's not Paul Ryan. It's somebody else. He was like a leader in the government. He was the leader of the Republican Party that got the tax shit. Like his whole thing in government was to like lower taxes for like major corporations. He got it done. He's like, I'm tapping out.

Yeah. Yeah. He did his time, bro. I'm going to keep it a buck. Paul Ryan. It was this young guy. It was a young congressman. Yeah.

No, it was a young congressman. Yeah. He put red velvet panels on his walls. Come on, bro. If you're not a pimp and you got red velvet in anything, you gay. You know what I'm saying? I didn't even know that. I knew that shit too.

I didn't know what color, but I knew he did some kind of shit. I was doing some old throwback. What's that movie that Sir Kidman was in? Who? Eyes Wide Shut. Nah, nah, nah. The other one with bitches dance sexy. They're like sluts before sluts. Moulin Rouge. Moulin Rouge. This shit look like Moulin Rouge. That's what they were saying

in Congress that his office look like Moulin Rouge. And it's like you gotta be gay if you design a Moulin Rouge. That's it. I think that's the rap. Itchy itchy Ya ya ya ya Hey hey We were all waiting

For something to take Lady Marmalade He knows all the words Lady Marmalade Yeah you would know that shit Christina Aguilera Shout out to the goat Got fake titties

And the rest of her body Matched Within like two months She was like Fuck it We fat now You know what I mean Christina Aguilera. Shout out to the goat. The goat. Got fake titties and the rest of her body matched. Within like two months, she was like, fuck it, we fat now. You know what I mean?

You could have just done it the old fashioned way off rip though. Oh man. Why get the fake titties then gain weight, just gain weight and then get heavies? Because I do think that that's what happens

is like, like when you get, like dudes who get money that start to get fat. Yeah. Like, yeah, I get it.

Like you don't need to look good no more. Nope. You know what I'm saying? So you're saying once you got the heavies. You got the heavies, like there's so much attention

coming your way because you got the heavies so you start to get a little loose around the belly. If you got a belly and no titties, like girls with no titties and a belly look crazy.

Yeah. You look like one of them pigs from Animal Farm when they started walking on the hind legs. You know what I'm saying? You can't be, you can't look like a little pig from Animal Farm walking on the hind legs. This lady what I'm saying? You can't look like a little pig from an animal farm walking on the hind legs.

This lady got a dad bod. This doesn't even make no sense. She looked like a dad. Right? Like, it's crazy. It's a little bit crazy. It's a little bit crazy. It's a little bit crazy.

Dude, this is wild. We're starting to podcast a little wild, but Lizzo was out here talking about his big girl summer, right? Titties look like two pieces of French toast. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, here talking about his big girl summer right titties look like two piece of french toast yo who we fighting bro who we fighting in government we fighting in government who wants to smoke smoke? I'm back to the TikTokers. We fighting government people. Government, if we fight something.

Yo, Gavin Newsom, I want it. Gavin Newsom, I want it. You don't think that that would be. He might give you a challenge. He might fuck me up. Yeah, he look like he'd be in a gym. He LA and all that type of shit. Probably eat some great smoothies and all that.

I'm just saying. Are you ready, sir? You sure you're ready? I know he can't relate to this, but Gatman, we outside. Oh, we outside. Catch your bodies. You know what time it is. Hop above your vineyard real quick, son.

I'm just saying we got to take it to the next level. Social media starts fighting each other. We got to fight sitting politicians. Sitting politicians or billionaires. I fight Elon Musk. I'll fuck Elon Musk up. I'll fuck Jeff Bezos up. Warren Buffett could get elbowed in his dome.

Warren Buffett could take one sip of Diet Coke. We're going to put the Diet Coke, Warren. Elon Musk will fuck you up. Say what? Elon Musk will fuck you up.

Nah, Pete. Come on. Nah, he come out with an Iron Man suit or some shit. You're not ready for it. That would be super foul. That would be super foul. Yeah, yeah.

He come out. He got a little watch on him. Yo, why you got your watch on? We about to fight. It's a wrap for you, bro. So you say you would fight any politician? Any politician. Any politician. Mark got one. Mark got one, bro. You would fight any politician. Any politician.

Putin, bro. Mark got one. I do a horse fight with Putin. We're both on horseback. I do a joust. I do a joust with dicks. I do a dick joust on horseback with Putin if he wants to. My money's on Putin.

Spasiba, bro. My money's on Putin. And you know what? I'll ride the horse backwards ass first. Back it up. You know what I'm saying ride the horse backwards ass first. Back it up. You know what I'm saying? Giddy up, Vlad. Giddy up.

Probably can't even reach. Good time. We out here partying. TikTok that. Okay? Fuck a TikTok. All right, well. Name another politician.

There's a famous Filipino politician. That what? Oh, shit. Manny Pacquiao? His name is Manny Pacquiao. Son, I ain't fighting no foreign third world politician where you also got to be good at fighting. That's how you know shit is still real in the third world,

where their politicians actually throw the fuck down. They got to be ready, yo. Anytime. Hey, you slap Manny Pacquiao, you're not getting no four months. Yo, ain't nobody slapping Manny Pac. Ain't nobody slapping Manny Pac Ain't nobody slapping Manny Pac Philippines is the next superpower But Macron

Come on Come on son I got no respect for that man anymore Shave my testicles Shout some manscape Yo yo yo yo Yo yo Does that make sense

After you Nah nah nah let it make sense Cause we make money off it After you get slapped in your mouth By just a regular civilian right After a regular civilian slaps slapped in your mouth by just a regular civilian, right? After a regular civilian slaps you in your mouth, you got to trim my testicle shots and mask it. That's what you're relegated to doing from now on in your political career.

Oh, you thought you was making laws today? No. You shaving balls today, my friend. That's what you're doing. That's your punishment. You want punishment. You get four months. Yo, you lucky.

You get four months. You get four months. You get four months. I'm going to get four months of growth and you're going to shave it back. That's what we're doing. That's your punishment. You want punishment. You get four months. Yo, you get four months. You get four months. You get four months. I'm going to get four months of growth and you're going to shave it back. That's what we're going to do out here. Okay? Mr. McCrone. You know what I mean?

Hey. Yo, we're being disrespectful today. We're being disrespectful today because there's not enough respect put on a game. There's really not. They showed me what these TikTokers are famous for. And by that, I mean Dove. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because we need to make sure your dicks are hard. All right.

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go do it it's the only one that we use baby same active ingredients it's inside viagra cialis and all the other ones you go do it and tell us how great it was now let's get back to i thought that they do the dances but they're also content creators like they do clever things i've seen people do shit on tiktok super clever I saw this bitch find a way to get melted butter into the middle of the popcorn. Whoa. With the straw? With the straw. This shit was genius. Put me on. Hold on.

Hey, hey, hey. It's got a fire right there. Here's your popcorn. Imagine the shit is mad big. It's a bucket, right? You got it full, right? You can only put the shit on the top. You get to the middle of the popcorn. Cut the hole at the bottom. Put your dick in. Cut the hole at the bottom I cut the highest bottom put your dick in but you cut the whole I'm fuck the shit out popcorn And then it's different type of butter

Nah, but what she did is she put butter on the top popcorn then took a straw Shove the straw to the middle of the popcorn and then squeeze the butter the butter comes out goes into the straw now It starts getting to the middle which is straw for the down now to the bottom. You got the butter comes out goes into the straw now it starts getting to the middle puts the straw further down now to the bottom you got the butter mixed throughout wow it was brilliant yeah so i'm just like okay you can learn some on tick tocks there was another thing i learned i forgot it oh you learned how to do music on the video what was it oh i learned how to do music on a video we could save so much time with uh fashion for the fashion bro if you play if you play a song on your phone Yeah, right you play us on your phone and then you go to this shit, right?

You go to your camera app. You just take that dot and slide that bitch over Now it's playing with whatever sound is going on in the background. Oh word. Yes. There you go Yes follow your fire Follow we figured I'll do some camera shit Vala, you're fired. Vala, we figured I'd do some camera shit. Nah, I'm just joking.

But look, you can learn some show tech. I didn't realize these motherfuckers are dancing with their shirt off. That's all they do. That's Chippendales. They're Chippendales. I can't respect anything less. Come on, bro. Dude thirst trap?

Come on, bro. You should have talent as a dude. Son, dude thirst trap. You should have talent as a man. That's just what the fuck you do. And who are these girls that are allowing dudes with no talent to get their rocks off? If you're a dude with no talent. Like all of them.

Why do you think this is new? Say what? Why do you feel like this is new? So you got hard-eyed to work to get pussy, bro? Yeah, you. Me? What you trying to say? Hey, that's insulting. What you trying to say?

Me too. I'm saying when you're Bryce Hall, you don't got to do that shit. I said that's just sarcastically, Mark. I said it's sarcastic. I still want to know what you getting at, Mark. I'm saying if you're Bryce Hall, you take his shirt off. He said Andrew's ugly, dog. So you say Bryce Hall is sexy.

He hooked up with one girl's whole life. And he was God as the alley-oop. My fucking never got pussy in his life. He don't have to get no pussy. He be like, yo, don't you believe in Jesus? Me too. Should we get married? Yes.

That's unfair. Yeah. You didn't do that. You were like that. Yeah, you touch the court. God already got you getting on your knees. It's all easy from there. I don't know.

God took all the work. Here's the thing. That's it. You met her already. That's what I'm saying. That's have a proposal right there. Lift that up. There you go.

That's easy. That's it. You already made your proposal. I'm against this. Men should have to work hard to get laid. Nah, be Christian. Say what? Be Christian, bro. Men should have to work hard to get laid. Nah, be Christian. Say what? Be Christian, bro.

Men should have to work hard to have sex with multiple women. Yeah, okay. One woman, no. But you should have to work hard to have sex with multiple women. That's how it works. You got to have a talent. You got to have a talent. You got to be funny.

You got to be charming. You got to know how to fake interest. You need to know how to not listen to the first 30 seconds of a story and then lock in midway That's amazing I used to see how far I could go I used to see how far I could go Girl just start telling me a story

I'm not listening And I just stare at her not listening I look at my watch and be like That's been 40 seconds Where we at bitch So you and Jessica spent some time in Italy. Alright. Okay. We in Italy. We done traveled across the world

while I was zoned out. Look at this. You just go on autopilot saying the last three words. At the end of the sentence. That's a Chris Voss. That's a CIA dude's technique. If you need to stall it Just repeat the last three words

That somebody said Oh yeah Yes we're in Italy And we're eating focaccia For like three weeks For three weeks Yeah I gained so much weight I got so fat

You got so fat Yeah That's it Keep the whole convo going That shit works Push that motherfucking Rock up the hill yo At the end of the convo

You're such a good listener I'm like yeah I know No You ever try to say some shit And then they're like Yeah I talked about that Like 40 seconds ago the hell yo at the end of the convo you're such a good listener i'm like yeah i know no you ever tried to say some shit and they're like yeah i talked about that like 40 seconds ago what the fuck are you and you're like huh you got caught oh i'm being caught in my life for sure oh shit i'll be getting caught and then i literally just throw my hands up like yeah only time i'm caught is when i agree to some shit i don't even know what the fuck they were saying like my girl say some shit i'll be like yeah that sounds good and then I'll realize I'm

scrolling my phone I'm like what the fuck did I disagree with you yo yeah because that's the thing in a relationship you don't have an attorney like in a relationship you can't just like call it up be like yo can you read over this proposition like you're just agreeing to plan you're agreeing to plan and then three weeks later you're at the fucking rose garden you're like what the hell am I doing here like I need my attorney I later, you're at the fucking Rose Garden. You're like, what the hell am I doing here? I need my attorney. I got fucked. You're like new addition and she's the manager.

Here's a deal. Take it. Okay. I'll sign wherever. I don't care. That is true. That is true. We're like some young high school kid.

They got dreams of being a musician. Yeah, dog. You know what I mean? Keep that shit up. You end up at the Van Gogh exhibit. That's how it works. Looking at Van Gogh. And they got Van Gogh's quote. This is what pissed me off about

this shit. The motherfucker can paint his ass off. They got his quotes around the whole exhibit. They got his quotes. I'm supposed to take advice from this guy that chopped his fucking ear off and then killed himself. I don't need your inspiration, motherfucker.

Just paint the paintings. Keep that shit up. One of them said, what would life be without the courage to do the things you're afraid of? You cut your ear off. Be less courageous. Right?

He old time Kanye. You good at your art, but shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You're clearly crazy, dog. You bipolar. You cutting at your art, but shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You clearly crazy, dog. You bipolar. You cutting off your own fucking ear mid-argument. Like, what is this?

And sending it to a bitch. Yo, wild. That is wild. That's some Kanye behavior. That is. That's really going the lengths to not have to listen to a bitch. Yo, here's this ear. Just tell all the shit you gotta say

To the ear Before we meet up later Cause I'm getting caught up Fake listening for 40 seconds And then coming back Bitch I got paintings to paint I ain't got time to listen so I gave you my Fucking ear so you could talk to that shit

Cause clearly you don't care If I listen or not I just take it back This guy's a genius Yeah I know He's a fucking genius He just inspired me You're picking it up bro

He literally just inspired me That's absolutely amazing Next week we all come in With one fucking ear Missing this shit Mad peaceful though Yo 100% Legs kicked up

We've been copying We've been copying Van Gogh The whole time I got an extra credit card So I don't gotta see you swiping my whole shit. I'm going to just leave this over here. You swipe over here. Fucking Van Gogh's genius, bro.

No, you're right, dog. I'm going to the exhibit now. You got to go to the exhibit. Son, tell me that quote again. Yeah, but on mushrooms. Make eye contact with other motherfuckers there with their girl because their girl won't go. Oh, yeah. It's like being a dad at a Justin Bieber concert.

Or like being in Shawshank. You ever seen two dogs looking at each other through the windows of an apartment building? That's what I felt like. I felt like my golden dude was staring out the window like, how long we got to be inside for? You think they're going to walk us later? Why are you going through blacks?

I'm trying to make it Southern. Yeah, that one was Southern. Why is it Southern though? Yeah, why Southern? It's just dumb. I was talking to the RU Garbage guys. I'm like, yo, is the Pennsylvania accent the new dumb white people accent? Yeah, it's got to be right.

It was like Boston for a minute. It used to be Southern. Yeah. And then it went to Boston. Like my hat. Kind of like pseudo racist, like working class whites. And now I'm going to get a hoogie. We're going to go to the water.

Get some water. Water and a hoogie. I was watching the mayor of Easttown. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so back to fighting politicians. You think that this is a good idea? Fighting public service?

You got to take me back. You got to think of who would fight you, though. Dan Patrick, whatever the fuck his name is, I think he'd fight you. Dan Patrick? That guy from Texas. He's another Texan guy. I thought Dan Patrick was a... Sports center.

Sports center. Same name, I'm pretty sure. Can you go to Dan Patrick, Texas politician, just to make sure I'm not an asshole? I'm pretty sure he's one of these other pretty all right type dudes. What's the guy that we say looks like Dan Silver Wolverine? And you can call him out for being pussy if he don't fight you. Because he will. A Texas boy.

Dan Patrick is 71 years old, bro. I don't know if I can get it. Yeah, you can get it. Mitt Romney. I'll fight Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney not going to fight you. Oh. He a Mormon.

Oh, okay. He not going to do it. What about Peter Boulware? What's that about he was a professional football player linebacker in the nfl uh six foot four 250 he was good peter bulware b-o-u-l right yeah he played for the ravens yeah yeah i think he was part of that historically good defense yeah yeah yeah so now so now he's involved in politics Is he white or black? He's black, he's black as hell Florida State House is a member of the Republican Party And he's a Republican?

Nah, I ain't fighting black Republicans, bro They want all the smoke They're not even the least bit worried He's on the Florida Board of Education Say what? He's on the Florida Board of Education Nah, nah, nah, I'm not fighting you We gotta find other legacy politicians Like, Womo So say what he's on the Florida Board of Education. So now I'm not fighting you

other like, you know legacy Momo hey the CNN here the only motherfuckers I would fight there. What is it Chris Cuomo? I fight Chris Cuomo word I knock out that fucking sauce moon Cuomo got the body. You can maybe take Andrew. Chris will fuck you up. I fuck up Andrew Cuomo too, but I fuck up Chris Cuomo. I don't know, bro. He got the body. Knock the fucking tortellini out of that guy's head. Are you kidding me?

Ain't no tortellini in that body, bro. Yeah, no cars. My man is keto. You don't think I fuck up Chris Cuomo? CNN? CNN Chris Cuomo? He's jacked. So what he's jacked? He just slapped I fuck up Chris Cuomo? CNN? CNN Chris Cuomo? He's jacked. So what he's jacked?

He gets slapped the fuck up. Yo, he gonna get that stock dude slapped. He would respond too. Yo, Chris Cuomo, you can get fucked up. You can get fucked up. Real talk. Yo, real talk. Fight me.

Fight me or your brother killed mad old people. Yo, fight me or your brother killed mad old people. Yo, fight me or your brother killed mad old people. Simple as that. I mean, one of those things already happened. We'll fight and you can donate the money to the families of the old people you guys killed. This is who he's getting us started with. Let me see. Son.

Son. My man got the fucking guns, dog. You don't think I could fuck with that? That's why he live in New York. He don't need no guns. He that that's why he live in New York he don't need no guns he can walk around like that he don't need no guns he in New York he walk around like that muscles that's light work I fuck up muscles man

you was doing a real good job with wax the other day I was until he came at me once he comes at me it changes shit a little bit but I fuck him up bro that's it I'm just saying I can't be fighting no fucking YouTuber TikToker you know what I'm saying I need motherfuck, that's it. I'm just saying, I can't be fighting no fucking YouTuber TikToker. You know what I'm saying?

I need motherfuckers that are part of the fabric. Why can't you fight a TikToker? Yeah. Because we too old. You don't like him anyway. He wants institutional change, bro. I want institutional change. The only people I will fight are politicians or media personnel.

I'd fight Portnoy. I want to see that. Hey, hey, hey, hold up, hold up, hold up. I'm just saying. Stop right there, dog. Portnoy's going to have you fucking docking home like this fucking running back. I don't know if that's what you want. The toughest thing about fighting him Is that I think he's dope

I'm not angry at him You know what I mean Like I like what he does I think he's fucking hilarious So it'd be tough But that type of personality Would be a Like money gathering fight

Like Like for example Like Tucker Carlson Would be the perfect person to fight Oh If you're like If you're some super liberal dude, I'm trying to think.

Jon Stewart's got to run it back. Jon Stewart? Fist fight Tucker? They already have the beef. Come on, son. That's what I'm saying. We got to get into fight promotion. Let's just start making pairs. Ben Shapiro, you can't see him fighting

Yama popping off his head every uppercut. Him and Don Lemon. Ben in there. Like a rock him, sock him. But he got to have the yarmulke on the rubber band so that shit popping and come right back. Remember the character you had in Mike Tyson's Punch Out, that little white guy?

Make him skinny and put a yarmulke on him. Was his name Mick? Yeah, maybe it was Mick. Yeah, that'd be fire. Now, Ben Shapiro, who do we get to fight, Ben? Don Lemon. AOC? Yeah, Don Lemon was Mick. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be fire. Now, Ben Shapiro. Who do we get to fight, Ben? Don Lemon. AOC?

Yeah, Don Lemon would be fire. Ooh, Don Lemon. Oh, shit. Don Lemon versus Tucker Carlson. That fight would be crazy. That's good. That fight breaks the bank. Everybody wins. I hope they beat the shit out of each other.

Yo, I think we're at a point where there's just so much talking. The reason why fighting is so beautiful is because it ends it. Everything is a debate. Everything is a a conversation and both sides think they won right like the left goes oh yeah he just bodied him in this debate then the right goes oh my god no tucker destroyed him and and then it's nobody has a clear winner right there's all these like decision goes to the judges the beautiful thing about a fight is it solves it at the end of the fight for most fights if you cannot deny that your guy lost especially if it's tko or knockout it's just fucking over and i think as a society we're getting to this point we're like enough enough of this bickering i mean what do you mean fucking

paul brother lost it and you still cape it for his mother oh he won he still he stayed in the ring with a professional let me give you a perfect example of when you could win after you lose nate diaz uh that's a good one that's true and i'm not capping for him right nate diaz i the what the reason why he won after he lost is because his stock didn't go down after a loss your stock's supposed to go down a little bit yeah and he got and he lost most of those rounds. The last round, he almost knocked his ass out. And Nate Diaz almost knocked Leon Edwards

out. We're talking about the UFC fight this weekend. But there's a perfect example where that's just the realest motherfucker gets his ass kicked for most of the fight. Last round, almost knocks the motherfucker out and finishes his ass. And it's like, that's what we want from Nate Diaz. And to be

honest i hit jake uh paul after watching that fight and i was like you gotta fight nate diaz that tyron woodley fight yeah cool do it if you want i don't care y'all care no no i thought i cared i don't now i don't care god bless tyron's a sweet guy, and he was a fucking UFC champion. But he doesn't have that gravity, right? Like, I'm not like, what is Tyron doing today? What's going on in his life? Like, Ben Askren had that gravity. There's something about Ben.

You're just curious about his life. He's good at shit talk. He's great at shit talk. I didn't really care, but then when I saw him shit talking Jake at the press conference, I was like, this is good. This is fucking good. This guy's good. There's something about him.

You're just drawn to him. Nate has that. That raw, pure authenticity. Oh, yeah. And you're just like, I need to see this motherfucker. That fight, Jake Paul versus Nate Diaz, is the biggest fight in fight sports right now. I mean, maybe if McGregor gets involved in some way. Oh, if McGregor gets involved, that's it.

That's it. But I'm telling you, Nate Diaz versus Jake Paul, boxing match would be through the fucking roof one and a half million minimum one and a half million i mean i've canceled a tyron woodley fight cancel pay a tyron off here's whatever you were gonna make in a fight you got your money nate let's go when you're healed up, let's fucking go. That fight would be unbelievable. You have the villain and you have the antihero. But now we get to root for the antihero.

It's like a fucking Ocean's Eleven movie. It's like the good guys aren't even that good. Right. But Jake is so... Compared to the bad guy, he's a good guy. And Jake knows he's fucking hated and he's leaning into it. And he gets to be hated Against the guy that everybody wants to like

For being bad I'm gonna teach him a lesson from the streets I mean that is a build up Who wins that fight you think? I think if it's a boxing match Nate wins I mean Nate's been boxing with some of the best Like as sparring partner

With some of the best boxers in the game But I think that you could sell it Oh yeah I think you'd sell it. Oh, yeah. I think you sell it. But that was too. What were we just saying? You were calling me out. Rightfully so, but you were calling me out.

Like fighting determines who wins. It shuts the argument up. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I don't think anybody thought that Logan beat Floyd. But the expectation of what was going to happen, he beat. He beat the expectation. Exactly.

As long as you beat your expectation, maybe that's what happened with Nate. People are like, yo, Leon Edwards is going to just destroy this guy. And then it went five rounds, and in the fifth round, Nate almost finished him in the last minute. So you beat your expectation, you win. In a weird way. You you beat your expectation, you win. You know, in a weird way.

You see what I'm saying? And I would only talk about defined wins as TKO or KO. Everything else up to the scorecards is a debate. Yeah, the debate will still happen. But you get a lot of that shit out. Like, how much are we going to keep fighting, arguing after we fought? You can't still talk shit to me. I'm tired, bro.

You're tired. You saw what I did to you. Yeah, we got it all out. Even if it's bro you're tired you saw what i did to you yeah we got it all out even if it's like close and you don't know who won we got it all out it'll calm down the arguing because it's like hey we we did this do we want to do this again yep we already did this yes i'm tired you're tired right this is how we get the purge bro i'm telling you this is how it starts we slowly move towards the purge we're gonna be at the purge within two decades. There'll be a purge. Nah, but purge is too much. There'll be a purge.

It starts like this. We're like, let's just have people fight one another. And it'll be one day of fighting. I think in some South American country, there's like a small town. Somebody look this up if you can. Where one day a year, they settle their disagreements through fist fights. Fist fights is fine. I think that is a thing. If it's more than one, like we just went and fucked up one

dude, we're not getting anything out. You know what I mean? But if you fight one-on-one, you're both getting all your shit out. And then it's done. But you know people got too much pride. They don't want to lose a fight, so immediately guns are being pulled out if we had a purge day. That's why we're purging. In South America, they can't. They're beating each other with bamboo

or something like that. Whatever they have in their hands. Takan why we're purging. In South America, they can't. They're beating each other with bamboo or something like that. Takanakua. In Peru. It's a fist fight. Bitches are fighting. You just settle all the scores and then move on to the new year. It's beautiful. Public brawl. That offers an alternative method to resolve conflict. That's it. Let's get it out of the way, son.

Let's get it out of the way. You don't want to know when they do it where december 25th yeah oh wow that's right that's right shout out to the j man so there you go i know everyone's off work we got our whole family here like let's do it that's it's not nothing to do jesus like yo we off like we ain't got shit to do it's christmas we won't get these presents Real talk Morning and night I don't know Whole day Whole day

If you go open Christmas presents And then get your ass kicked Ass Come on now I think we're on to something I think we'll be at the purge We're American We always take shit next level

Motherfucker get regular tattoos On her arm We get that shit on the face You know what I'm saying Somebody get a tongue ring We gotta split the tongue in half we always take it to the next level we'll be at a purge within two decades because that's how we'll need to handle shit and low-key purge is kind of pussy if you're using weapons yeah the beauty of a fight is

this is me and you it has to be fists i'm telling you fists then you get it out then you're letting all like if you're just shooting somebody you you're not getting, like you're getting anger out but you're not tired. If you fight somebody, you're fucking tired. I got all my emotion out of me. You all got to hug afterwards. Yeah, you got to hug afterwards.

People just need to get punched in the face more often than you think. I've been told that about me many times. Yup, 100%. I think a good punch in the face or just understanding

their repercussions for actions. You know what I mean? It's a lot of talk, but then there's no do. And I think as a society, you get annoyed with no do. Every once in a while, you need to see some do.

Why are we watching people who do this for a living fight? Why? Like that is what they do for a living and probably make millions of dollars which is absolutely absurd i don't mind seeing that guy get his ass kicked though exactly once i watch his tiktoks now i want to see him lose that fight you don't think that everybody watching that

was happy as long as one side of the other got beat like nobody was rooting for anybody but pain yeah it's like you're sitting down barely scraping enough pennies from your fucking stimulus check to pay for this pay-per-view just so you could see these motherfuckers that make millions of dollars doing that hurt and bleed. Yeah. Satisfaction. Fire. No matter who gets hurt, you feel good.

Oh yeah. This is amazing. We need to fight politicians. Who going to take on Biden? Oh, who's going to take on Biden? Who's going to take on Biden? Biden. I'm not going to fight Biden, but I'll do a five saltines in under a minute challenge with him.

I will eat five saltines in under a minute challenge with Joe Biden, President Joe Biden. That might be elder abuse, bro. You think that's abuse? Just seeing him fight through that. I don't know it's elder abuse Just seeing him Yeah Seeing him fight through that

I don't know Cuomo might just put him In a nursing home And kill him or something Yo That could fucking happen That's what I'm saying yeah Yo

Do we have to call out The Cuomos Real talk? I think you did Yeah You kind of did that I think you pointed At the camera

How tall is he yo Real talk How tall is that motherfucker? We need to learn about that shit. Oh, real quick. I have the follow-up to the Jake Paul, Nate Diaz fight. Did they fight? Yeah, he's 6'2".

He's not 6'2". 6'2", 195 pounds. Fucking you up, son. I knocked that motherfucker on his ass. He fucking you up, son. I knocked that motherfucker on his ass. There's no way he's 6'2". I knocked him on his motherfucking ass, bro.

Chris Cuomo's 6'2". He gonna fuck you up. Let's go. I want all the smoke. This is where he could come get. Yeah. He got to fuck you like a bitch. That might happen.

Whatever. Ain't a gay pride month. Ain't a gay pride month. Let's make it happen. I don't know, son. You can have a parade on your ass all right. I don't care. He really going to body you.

You think? Yeah. Boxing or like fight? No, no. Boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing. Bare knuckle. Boxing, bro. I thought we were talking fire.

I thought we were just going around punching motherfuckers. No, that's crazy, bro. You can't be going around punching people. That's crazy. I mean, you just said the purge. Yeah, but the purge is like, yo, let's knuckle up. You know what I mean? You can't be waiting for the bus and someone punches you.

That's nuts. Yeah, but this is what we do. Just knuckle up. Because that's pussy. If you wrestle in the purge, that's fine. That's part of the rule. I ain't wrestling no motherfucker who cares about Pride Month this much. I might wrestle him, you know, July 1st when he's assholes all done. No more coming as balls. You know July 1st When he's Assholes all done

No more coming as balls You know what I mean When he's done celebrating Maybe I'll wrestle him But I'm not gonna wrestle him In the middle of June Hey no December 25th

Chris Cuomo vs. Andrew Schultz Let's do it Yo Christmas Day Christmas Day Hey Christmas Day Hey

I'm not against it bro I'm only going after politicians Or media personalities, bro. Who else? That's the one. Who else is there? Who else is there, yo? Call him out.

Leanne McEnany? Whatever that bitch name is, bro. She'll get it. Say what? She'll get it. I ain't gonna fight her. Oh, no. Who's that?

Marjorie. Marjorie CrossFit. Marjorie Taylor Greene. That CrossFit bitch. Tulsi Gabbard. No, but how about Marjorie Taylor Greene? What about it? How about I take her and Tulsi Gabbard and we go to the telly for an hour?

You know what I'm saying? I'll bring the gloves. You bring the scissors. Well, I wasn't ready for that. All right, guys. We're going to pay some bills for a second. We'll be right back. All right, guys.

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We back. Yo, real talk. First of all, Nate Diaz is the realest motherfucker, yo. Why? He calls out the best guy in the division, arguably. Right?

The best challenger in the division Leon Edwards right Fights that motherfucker he don't have to he can fight some bum Beat his ass we're gonna go cheer And then build up his couple wins and then Fight Kumaru but he's like I wanna fight The best motherfucker in the division right The guy nobody wants to fight Fights him and then after the fight

Says to him This is what Leon is saying Nate said Nate told me after the fight don't let These, this is what Leon is saying, Nate said. Nate told me after the fight, don't let these motherfuckers tell you you ain't shit. Name your price or they will name it for you. That's great. That's great. What a guy.

What a guy, dude. What a guy. I love him. I love him. I just fucking love him. I don't know what it is. It's like There's a difference between Being principled And being authentic

Like principled is You are gonna act According to these rules Even if you don't feel like Those rules are right or wrong Which I respect I respect that too As long as I like the principles

Right right You know what I mean There's some principles I'm like Yeah That's a little crazy But if I fuck with the principles I admire the fact

That you can rock with it like that. But being authentic is going like, yo, I want to fight the best dude. Even if it's bad for me. Yeah. He's going to beat me. Well, he might beat me. And if he does, I'm going to tell him, don't get the most money you could possibly make. I'm going to give him life advice after.

Yeah. Fucking A. You got to love the guy. Yeah yeah fucking hey you gotta love the guy yeah you fucking gotta love it it would have been some bullshit if he was like you know what you could do as a fighter it's like i just kicked your ass that wouldn't be authentic authentic is hey man don't let these guys fuck you you're gonna make a lot of money if you want to yeah go do that that's authentic i just fucking love that dude yeah i thought it was so cool that's great yeah and this guy there's something about him so what does he do next i fight jake paul let's say nate and uh jake fight let's say jake beats nate there's another fight big brother wants to get his revenge

on on jake not big brother logan big brother nick nick diaz who nate says is the goat he's unbelievable he hasn't fought forever i think he was like banned for the ufc for a little bit now they're letting him back in a fight so he was in nate's corner but they've been dying to get him back so then nick goes okay i want to get i want to get a revenge for what happened to my brother that's a huge fight and let's say Nick beats Jake. Well, then big brother wants to get some revenge on Nick. Logan goes and fights. I mean, it's just so much.

This is the next two years of your lives here. Here's why I was initially thinking this fight wouldn't happen. It's because if Jake loses, he loses other fights. If Jake fights a Tyron Woodley, who maybe he has a better chance of beating, he wins that, then Nate's still there. But if he loses to Nate, his fights are done. He can't keep climbing.

Good point. All the shine is gone. Good point. So I think he's going to take this Tyron Woodley, get millions more dollars, maybe one more, millions more dollars, then Nate Diaz,

and then if he beats him, then Conor is a super fight. Like, holy fuck the money's astronomical I think that's a that's smart thinking I think you kicked that can down the road

if it was Jake I think Jake is gonna say no yeah I just get so excited about like what would be yeah like I always wanna be like whatever it is

I wanna be I wanna be doing the most exciting thing that I can do right right so it's tricky with the fight game

yeah and the content game is different right the stakes are way lower way lower right because like oh I had a video it didn't get many views boom exactly right right so it's tricky with the fight game yeah in in the content game is different right stakes are way lower way lower right because like i had a video it didn't get many views boom exactly and a perfect example it's like so if you do that didn't get many views you're still in control your shit you just throw out another video that shit slaps you good literally we just said it nobody saw it who cares exactly you get knocked out by nate diaz and millions of people

saw it everybody saw it now all the can he fight can he do this how far can he go that's all answered all our questions are answered what we're gonna do more meticulous yeah the series finale that's it's like you got a tv show you gotta drag it out yeah if you lose a fight the finale is right there yeah you're right and now it's just like less exciting shit you find somebody whatever rematch nobody cares that much especially if you get fucked up and if nate's got hands like that, I don't think Jake wants it yet. That's so interesting. And to put things in perspective, the amount of interest in seeing Jorge Masvidal

fight again after that brutal knockout, half of what it used to be. Oh, yeah. And he's a charismatic guy. Super charismatic. Tons of gravity. You want to know what he's doing. You want to know how he hangs out. You want to know what he's up to. Also, the problem with being the villain is once you lose, I'm not invested anymore.

If you're Jorge and people love you, even when you lose, yo, I love Jorge. I just want to see him fight. Yeah, yeah. Once you lose as the villain, I'm done. I saw the villain lose. Who cares? Yeah, yeah. It's like I got that.

The catharsis happened. Yeah. Right? Like I hated you and I wanted to see you fall. You fell. Now I feel nothing. Yeah. And if I feel nothing towards you, you have no promotional power, right? I need to feel something. I need to feel invested in your rise or your downfall. Yeah. But you just removed all my feelings. Yeah. So that might be a good point when it comes to Jake. It's like, if people are investing in his downfall, you can make money until that downfall. So don't let that downfall be too quick. Yeah, you got to drag that out. Do you think these TikTok fights are going to continue being a thing?

I don't know. I don't know. We got to talk to Charlotte because he was there. He'll tell us if it was a vibe or not. It depends how much money they make. I mean, if the people will watch then yeah there's gonna be more of them it's that simple and they can have mixed nights they can have a you know pay-per-view concert and a boxing match and circus show i mean i love that like let

there be a legit buy like tyson fury versus deandre wilder or whatever like that right like you want to boost the pay-per-view buys by 200,000? Throw some fucking TikTokers on that shit in the four-round fight. Oh, that's a great idea, dude. Under cards. Ain't no rules to this shit anymore, yo. Yeah. Like, oh, the purity of boxing. How about the purity of making money?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we are in a brutal business. By we, we are not. But these fighters are in a brutal business. Once you get to the top of that shit, this, the purity of the sport shit, goes out the window. You of that shit, the purity of the sports shit goes out the window. You know who cares about the purity of the sport? Broke motherfuckers.

Yes. Broke motherfuckers that can't get nobody to buy their shit. Yeah. Because that's the only thing they can hold on to. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Yo, real talk, I'm trying to think. It's a shame to even say it,

but the comics that are all about the purity of it ain't selling no tits. That shit is cute to me. that shit is cute to me that shit is cute to me it's adorable yeah the club warriors is not selling any fucking tickets and i'm please believe the second that they do start to sell tickets because i've seen this happen the transition happens immediately all of a sudden the social media is blowing up all of a sudden there's tons of stuff posted etc but before you But before you have that, you have to value the only thing that upholds your self-esteem. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And if just being the funniest guy at the club is a thing that keeps your self-esteem high, of course you're going to latch on to that. Yeah. You know? So these motherfuckers, they're going to make some money doing something brutal where they're not going to remember their fucking grandkids name? Your life is on the line. Make money. Feed your kids.

Do all that shit. You're sacrificing your Your life is on the line. Make money. Feed your kids. Do all that shit. You're sacrificing your brain every fucking practice. Absolutely. Make money. NFL, boxers, fight sports. Make fucking money. Absolutely. Fuck purity, dog.

What is that? Grow up, man. You got kids? You got a family? Yeah. You're in control of your purity. Yes. That's the other thing that's important.

It's like when you're involved, like when you're not selling tickets and this is for a boxing match or this is for anything like that, right? Like you, you're still in control of your purity, but you're latching to what you think the most pure thing is that your self-esteem is tied to. Yeah. Right. Like once you have control of your career, no matter what it is, you are the only one that holds yourself accountable for purity.

You got to write the jokes how you want them to be. You got to uphold your own standards. Before that, you're living on someone else's standards. You're living at the person you look up to most at the comedy club or the person you look up to most at the boxing gym. And you're trying to do boxing or comedy or any of these other things to their standards. Not to yours. So you always got to do boxing or comedy or any of these other things to their standards. Right. Not to yours. Right.

Right? So you always got to hold yourself to your own. Yeah. You just got to earn the right to do it. Yes. And make some money. 100%. Yeah.

And it's like, you know what Chappelle's dad told him? He said inside the actor studio is name your price. Name your price. Everything else is pure. Once it gets past your price where you're like, yo, this is, I can't do this. Yeah. And if your price is,

I can't post on social media that there's no way I believe that. I just don't believe that my price is I can't post. Yeah. I don't believe in social media. Yeah. All right, buddy. And I get the world.

Cause that's how I feel about Tik TOK. Yep. I'm just like, do I want to fucking do this? Like I'm seeing all this nonsense on there. Yeah. And then I see a cool video and I'll be like, yeah, it's kind of fun. There's some cool creators on here.

This is their platform. Yeah. And that's not the price. The price there isn't your soul. It's not like if you, if I get on TikTok, I'm giving up a piece of my soul. I'm doing some shit I think is kind of corny. All right. We're all doing some shit we think is kind of corny.

Yes. That's the world. Your whole life is you got to do some shit you don't want to do. Yeah. For me, it's more, it is less about like being corny. It's more like, like, I'm going to have to figure out this new thing, figure out how to hack it, figure out the best way to be successful. And that's going to pull cognitive hours away from other things that I want to be great at. Right.

So I could either outsource or not do it because also there's a point in time where you have to be grateful for what you got and and and excel and exceed and what you're doing you know so maybe we get somebody to just start posting the things on tiktok that's that's where you outsource you're in a position to outsource out yes yeah 100 all right what else we got all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because some of y'all stink and we need to fix that okay sometimes it rains on your birthday sometimes the line for coffee wraps around the building. Sometimes gas goes up 10 cents. Sometimes life stinks. And the good news is that you don't have to because native has your back. Native cares about the products that you put in your body. All right. They're about stopping this stink the right way. That's the native

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native deo.com flagrant or use the promo code flagrant at checkout for 20 off your order let's get back to what's up everybody today we are here with the champ the champ is in the building and the squad you got the headphones on or are we on speaker now you got the headphones yeah man we here we here we live Okay. First of all, congratulations. I love it. You know what I mean? We gotta get to the bottom of something real quick.

You had mentioned in the pre-fight hype. This is Izzy, Israel style vendor. Okay. We got the motherfucking UFC champ. The GOAT. Okay. Now, you said in the pre-fight hype You said that Vittori was going to be gas

And you said that He was going to be breathing out of his mouth And there was a point in the fight Where he was bent over And you opened up his butthole Was that so you could help him Get more oxygen in his body Yeah I mean He was gassing out so I had to let the gas out somehow Was that so you could help him get more oxygen in his body?

Yeah, I mean, he was gassing out, so I had to let the gas out somehow. It was. Facts, though. He was easy. Did you think the fight was easier than you expected? Yep, it was. But for me, you know how I am. am i'm hard on myself i felt like i was having fun out there there was even a point my my coach had to pull me back a little bit because i had to get overexcited and told me like just chill i think my coaches had ptsd from the last fight because when i got when i knew he was tight and i was gonna put him away he shot in but i knew this

guy wasn't he wasn't gonna keep me me down. He tried to keep me down. My coaches just told me to pull back a little bit. I mean, I had fun out there. It's the first time I've had fun out there for a long time where I was playing around. It was trying to be boring. I was still clowning him, making the crowd entertain.

I haven't done that in a bit. It was kind of nice to do that last night. It was great to see, man. It looked like you were having fun out there. And it was cool. Honestly, it was cool seeing him almost get you in that rear naked choke. Yeah. Yeah.

Because... I was not threatened at all. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't look threatened, but for a moment I was like, oh, shit, here it is. Here's what's going to happen. Because this is what I figured everybody in your division was going to try to do. They're like, all right, bet. We just get them on the ground.

And then once it's on the ground, we can take over. And do you think that that narrative is done? I don't think so. I think they're still going to keep hoping. But the bet for me, honestly, man, like I remember that moment. And it's all the work I've been doing with my breath coach, my performance coach. Because Kai was in a similar situation in our last fight at the Apex. And he said all that work on the water made him calm.

So even when I was in that position, I was not threatened. I didn't panic. I thought even my heart didn't skip a beat. I was calm. And then I held it and I reversed it straight away. And I put him. I got him like that. You know what I'm't panic. I thought even my heart didn't skip a beat. I was calm. And then I held it and I reversed it straight away. And I put him, I got him like that. You know what I'm talking about. You know when you're in the bedroom, you do like that.

I saw him look in his eyes. You know what I'm saying? That XNXX shit, you know? I swear to God, I saw this look in his eyes. And he was just like, oh, fuck. And I said to him, I swear, I won't. He didn't want it from me. Trust me. But I said to him, the words I said won't. He didn't want it from me, trust me. But I said to him, with the words, I said to him,

you're scared, aren't you? You're scared, aren't you? I said that to him. And I could see a look in his eyes. And I tried to elbow him, and I just missed. And I just missed. But yeah, I like that look in a man's eyes when you go to him by this, and you look him in the eyes,

and he's scared for his fucking life. Play, fast forward, whatever you want to do with that. All of it. Do you think he was scared yes oh no i saw it in his eyes because that was his hope he thought he'd probably go hard thinking like yes this is it i finally have the back i can choke him out he's got nothing and i just easily turned him around and i just i dominated him so yeah um yeah he was scared i saw it in his eyes. All right. We got to talk about something that happened for the pre-fight hype. You have one

of the best pre-fight hype posts I've ever seen, right? Where you let the motherfucking snake out. Okay. Now I got, I got a serious, I got a serious question about this. I need you to be a hundred percent honest with us. You're on flagrant too right now. Did you warm up the piece? Did you warm up the piece before you put it out there? Never. Like, I mean, how can you warm up the peace? Did you warm up the peace before you put it out there? Never. Like, I mean, how can I warm up the peace when there's like so many people around and all sorts? You gotta understand it's fucking, I don't know how many degrees

it is out here. We're in the desert, man. We're in the desert. You know, the thing thing. The thing thing when it's hot out in the street. So yeah, it was just, it's one of those days, man. It's one of those days that I just It was a heavy day. It was a good dick day, so you gotta let it hang out. It was a heavy day. Yeah, it was just, it's one of those days, man. It's one of those days that I just. It was a heavy day. Good dick day, so you got to let it hang out. It was a heavy day. Yeah, it was a heavy day.

A heavy day, man. Yo, so what's next, man? When you come to New York, first of all, stop fucking around out there on the West Coast. My man, I was supposed to come to New York. I was supposed to stay in the States. I couldn't get my O-1 visa in time for the work we were going to do. So it fell through.

So now I got to go back home. But my plan was if you guys was in Miami, I wanted like a grand return back to the flagrant two army because I felt like I was there since they thought I was a fan and I came to the studio in New York. And I felt like it would be cool to return rather than Zoom or Skype to return like, you know, in the flesh. Triumphant as a champ, you know. So don't worry. I mean, the emails are leaked now.

You know, the vaccines are out. Everyone knows what's up. So, yeah, shit's about to blow over soon. And then I can roll around these streets again, if you will. Let's go, man. Yo, what's your deadline? We're going to work this out. What's your deadline? I leave tomorrow.

That's the problem. I'm already scheduled to leave tomorrow. It's already out of the way, so we can't do it anymore. But it's alright. I mean, these things pass. You know, life happens and I feel like another opportunity will come up. I mean, definitely definitely gonna do another one So yeah, the next one probably will do it together We look at we're looking forward to that but seriously next time you get some trouble that shit you holler at me

We'll work it out. We got some connections over there. I mean, man, you know some people I bet that say less We know some people yo, I think you retired Paulo Costa, yo My We know some people. Yo, I think you retired Paulo Costa, yo. Man, he's doing already. When you fucked his ass. I've been a few days, man. Yeah. Hey, man, he's doing a few days. I think you retired him, yo.

Hold up. I think. Hold up. Someone just spun out. Oh, shit. Wait, let me see who spun out. Hold on. Can I flip this?

Can I flip this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't flip it. Oh, I can. Now, we're just watching someone spin out. It was a red car because they're racing. My boys are racing right now. Someone spun out and I heard everyone go, oh, shit.

Wait, is that Ash? He regained his control. Hey. Ash. On your back and wet up. Get Ash over here, bro. On your back. Hey.

Hey, what's up? Yo, get him over here. I love this guy. Yo. Hey, what's up, boy? Asshole Army, meet the legend Ash in the building. What's up, boy? Hi, man.

How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I'm good, bro. I've said that line once a month ever since I left you. I asked everybody to everybody listen right now. once a month ever since I left you? I better look where you're at. I asked, to everybody listening right now, I asked, we're drunk in a bar somewhere in Australia. Maybe it was

Perth or some shit, right? And I go, what do you say? Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. I go, what do you say to an Australian girl to get her horny or whatever like that? And he goes, alright, mate, you can use my line. I go, what's up? He goes, you just look at him right in the face

and you say, on your back and wet up. Give her a VB and tell her to get on her back and wet up. On your back and wet up, mate. That's it. That's it. What's that, mate. That's it. That's it. It's as simple as that, mate. Works every time. Works every time.

All right, Ash. We can't hear you. You got to take off the headphone, bro. We can't hear you. Good. All good, brother. I'll talk to you. You can't hear me?

Wait, can you hear him? Now I can hear him. Now I can hear a little better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can hear him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. All right, that's good.

All good, brother. All good. I'll leave you to it all right all right my brother he got nervous i love that guy man he's so funny um yo is man we don't want to take up too much of your time man but we're proud of you bro it's great to see you and i mean this sincerely i don't think paula costosta wants to fight no more, man. I think you beat him in a way where he goes, the only way I'll do this. Like, I'm not doing this for love no more. I'm doing this for money.

Yeah, I mean, when you have a lot of yes men, like I read these people like coloring books, man. It's so easy. When you have a lot of yes men around you blowing smoke up your ass every day, telling you you're the greatest. It was kind of similar to this fight. I just

smelled the bullshit. I was like, this is a guy who gets blown up every day. His ego was blown. One thing I loved was when I dropped him because the arena was so silent. If you listen closely, you hear the panic in this corner. There was a guy screaming,

scaring, like, oh no, my boy. He had the shriek in his voice. And that was like blood in the water. That drove me. And I was like, get the fuck out of here. And I felt like that took away from him. And that took his mental away. So I mean,

you can't come back from that and then he had all his excuses and then you know i find i think you should go into the winemaking business you'll actually be successful at that he's already got the tagline so yeah make some wine um all right so what's next man you calling out robert whittaker like do you really get motivated for that fight like you are you destroyed the guy Yeah, I do because he he's a beast But um, I feel like it has to be in Auckland because of this whole bullshit right now I might not be in Auckland, but I will I can get myself up. You told me I get myself up or anything Cuz you know the fight I want to see yeah

Which one you know, I want you know, I want to see you go at it with Darren Till I don't even care if you guys fight But I just want to see the Instagram build up I'll tell you one thing There's a new season of Tough With my boy Alex Volkanovsky coaching it Watch that, it's going to be dope It's already, I think, episode 3 is coming out this week

They did Breaking news leaked It got offered to me and Darren Till and instantly I said no because personally I don't want cameras in my face that much and I don't want to be stuck in Vegas for that long I just feel like it would come I mean what does it take to make good reality TV drama I love drama and I'm. Darren's in trouble. I feel like I would have to, you know, go to the lowest form of myself. Sorry. I got a call. My bad. My bad. I got a call. But I felt like I would have to go to the lowest form of myself to create all the pranks that would.

Yeah. The pranks that would play the pranks that would play i would i can go lower like people don't understand like i i mean i take the high road but when it's time to go low limbo well listen man we love you bro we appreciate you we'll see you in new york soon uh get your ass back here man we gotta hang already wow, definitely me guess around some nightclub. I love you boy looking nice today, by the way What's his name he was looking at you all crazy next time I see him I might have to slap him Yeah, he was looking at you all crazy I had to tell him not Alex Jones oh. Trying to back the fuck up. You could get the chance soon. Might happen sooner than later, my brother.

Easy. You've been gone too long. I'm forgetting about you, bro. You gotta come back here, man. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm going to claim that throne again. Let's go. All right, homie. Be good. Love you, guys. Love you, peace. And we're back

yo Izzy's the best man the greatest you know what I you know what I noticed is when he grabbed dude's ass on twitter the reaction was like

this is so funny like his he's very intentionally trying to change what it is to be a tough guy yeah and he's doing it easily

he's like he's skinny gay jokes all day fucking fucking a dude in the ass after the fight like this is not a world that knew this to be a tough guy yeah a UFC with a tough guy He's skinny, gay jokes all day, fucking a dude in the ass after the fight. This is not a world that knew this to be a tough guy. A UFC with a tough guy was the bad motherfucker, beating your ass, not saying shit.

Izzy dying his hair pink, fucking anime intros. He is changing what it is to be a tough guy. That's facts. Because at the end of the day, you're tough or you're not. It's not the other shit you do. Yeah. You know what I mean? If you're tough and you watch cartoons, you're tough.

Ain't nobody fucking with you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Watch you're tough and you watch cartoons, you're tough. Ain't nobody fucking with you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Watch your cartoons, whatever the fuck you want. It just so happened that the dudes that were getting beat up stayed inside to watch cartoons because they was getting beat up outside. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, maybe that's because he was bullied and shit. Maybe.

I don't know. You got it. But yeah, while we're talking about things getting beat up, bro, there's a video that's out right now that shows uh an absolute legend an absolute legend of the pandemic maybe one of the funniest people that came out of the pandemic unintentionally but obviously the most hilarious things up to the motherfucker was not playing around not playing right and efficient with his time yeah like we're talking about uh jeffrey tubin jeffrey tubin is the man that jerked off during the zoom meeting which is a thing of not playing right and efficient with his time. Yeah. Like we're talking about Jeffrey Toobin.

Jeffrey Toobin is the man that jerked off during the Zoom meeting, which is a thing of efficiency. They're going on a 30-minute break. He need to crank that dick and then get back to work. An efficient jerk is the best jerk. 100. And if he's married and trying to do it to satisfy his wife later, he's just trying to clear that chamber so that he can be the best man that he needs to be with his wife.

It's really the most selfish thing that he could do. He a feminist he's a feminist in a lot of ways he's about a woman achieving climax right so this guy's out here he is 70 years old has to learn how to use zoom i don't even know how to use zoom really when you think about it most technology i don't even fucking know i learned on tiktok right that's probably the reason why i'm not on tiktok because it's a new bit of technology I'm going to have to learn. So this guy's out here. He's got to learn how to use fucking new technology. We're expecting him to know if his Zoom is on or off.

Come on, yo. Be reasonable. Bro, the guy's in a new browser window. Old people think if you can't see it, it's not there. Yeah, it's peekaboo. It's peekaboo, exactly. So he don't know the camera's still on. He's in a different window

Yeah Right He's watching that porn Getting that yank And then some creeps On the other side Yeah Watch

Yeah How do you know I'm jerking off Fucking creeps You're just staring at my screen Peeping Toms Peeping Toms It's disgusting Those are disgusting people

I bet if that was a woman Sorry Tapping her Flicking her bean They'd be like Why are you watching Tapping her Fl flicking her bean, they'd be like, whoa, why are you watching? Tapping her, flicking her bean. Pick it and flick it.

Tapping her. He's picking and flicking her bean. Stop picking and flicking. Oh, that pick and flick would be okay, wouldn't it? Guy in 2A. No, but for real. If you watched a girl do that shit, you'd be like, why are you watching? You're a creep.

Last night I'm out to dinner with my boy and his wife wife and his wife said she used to cheat on tests by writing the answers on her thigh and wear a skirt to the test wow so if the teacher came up like yo what's what's written on your test you be like why are you even looking what's written on your thigh why are you even looking at my thigh you creep so why the fuck were you even watching this man jerk off yo that's kind of we're supposed to be off air 30 minutes. Who the fuck ends the Zoom and then stares at the people during the Zoom for those 30 minutes? Keep it moving, bro. Keep that shit moving. Open up a new window.

Yeah. Yeah, come on, sir. Open up a new window. Why you still on gallery view in the Zoom? Why you walk out the Zoom on like that, bro? Or furthermore, why you just got his shit open? You fucking psychopath. What type of psychopath gonna keep his shit open? Oh. You fucking psychopath. What type of psychopath going to keep one window open? Sex criminal.

Sex criminal. Sex criminal. Prosecute the person. I'm going to tell you why. I'm going to tell you why. Because the whole Zoom call, they had their video off because they were beating off to Jeffrey Toobin. That's what it was.

That's what it was. That's what it was. The whole video, they was beating off to Jeffrey Toobin. And imagine what was going through their mind. They're sitting at home beating off to Jeffrey Toobin. All of a sudden, he starts beating him back. Oh, Mexican standoff. It was a heat off.

It's a beat off. It's a Mexican standoff 100%. And Jeffrey Toobin don't even know that you're beating off to him. Yeah. And to your dismay, he starts cranking away too. So now you had to out him before he could out you. Oh, you fucking deviant,

deviant motherfucker. Because that's what they thought. They're like, oh shit, do I have my video on? Oh my God, I got to call HR before he can call HR on me.

That motherfucker was on the other end beating off. Yeah. Beating his fucking dick to Jeffrey Toobin. To Jeffrey Toobin got to take the fall

for both of them. Damn. That's sad, yo. Bruh. Honorable man, dog. Now Toobin's back on CNN though. Toobin's back on CNN for both of them. Damn. That's sad, yo. Bruh. Honorable man, though. Now Toobin's back on CNN, though. Toobin's back on CNN, and this is one of the most hilarious things

I've ever seen in my life. Al, please play the video. I don't even care if we have flagged. I don't even care if everything is demonetized. It is worth it. It is worth any amount of money to see what this man had to say after caught whacking off in his own house.

And chief legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin to talk about this and more. Hi, Jeffrey. Hello, Alison. It's been a while. Indeed. I feel like we should address keep the hands above what's happened in the months since we've seen you, since some of our viewers may not know what has happened. So I guess I'll recap. I'll do the honors. Help yourself. Okay. Help yourself. In October. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Hold on. She goes, I'll do the honors. Bitch, I'll do it. Bitch, my first time back on there, you'll do the honors. Why? Because when I was doing the honors, it was a problem. And he said, help yourself. Press play, Al.

On a Zoom call with your colleagues from the New Yorker magazine, everyone took a break for several minutes, during which time you were caught masturbating on camera. You were subsequently fired from that job after 27 years of working there. And you, since then, have been on leave from CNN. Do I have all that right? You got it all right sad to say okay so let's start there um to quote jay leno pause what the what if you just pulled his dick outside that is correct

keep going i like it when you guys talk. I like it coming out of your mouth. Tell me more. All right, keep going. Jay Leno, what the hell were you thinking? Well, obviously, I wasn't thinking very well or very much. And it was something that was inexplicable to me. I think one point, I wouldn't exactly say in my defense because nothing is really in my defense. I didn't think I was on the call. I didn't think other people could see me. You thought that you had turned off your camera?

I thought that I had turned off the Zoom call. Now, that's not a defense. This was deeply moronic. Yes, it is a defense. You thought the call was off and now you're jerking off like every regular human being does on their computer what happened to be a sex positive liberals yeah what happened to me oh oh he can't make money watching some sex workers have sex wow he's probably on our only fans he probably submitted money he was trying to pay some membership premium platinum wow thatzzers membership. Yeah. He was trying to pay some premium platinum.

Wow. That's fucked up. That's fucked up. You would think the New Yorker would understand a subscription model better than anybody. Yeah. Oh, all of a sudden you got a problem with guys

subscribing to some shit. Wow. Entertainment. That's a good ass point. They're like only fans for like dorks. Dorks.

Alright. Go, go, go. This is great. Defensible, but that is part of the story. And, you know, I have spent the seven subsequent months, miserable months in my life, I can certainly confess, trying to be a better person. I mean, in therapy,

trying to do some... Pause, pause, pause. He didn't mean to jerk off in front of people. He had... What are you becoming a better person for? What needs to be improved? Be a 70 and jerking off.

No, go to an IT class. Take a class how to use your computer. Go to the fucking genius bar. Call your grandson immediately. Call your grandson and say, how do I turn off the video?

How do I turn off the Zoom? Because daddy's got to come. How do I turn off the video? Because I can't turn me off. Me is turned off right now. Honestly, we should be impressed that a guy at that age still has a sex drive. We should be impressed he loves his job that much. Imagine you went to work and you're like, I need a beat off midday.

I love this job. Working for the New Yorkers is shit. Son. I don't beat off after this. He's a faithful man. He's not cheating on his girl. He's not stepping out. He's jerking off like a respectable human.

Legend. Yo. Legend. Hey, Jeffrey, if you want a real job, come work at Flagrant 2, dog. Yes. Come work over here. All right. Keep going. Hey, Jeffrey, if you want a real job, come work at Flagrant, too, dog. Yes. Come work over here. All right, keep going.

This is goofy that you got to say this shit just so he can be a punter. Public service. Working in a food bank, which I certainly am going to continue to do. Ain't nobody want you touching their food. What the fuck? I didn't think that was a good idea. You working in a food bank, bro? I got to see the guy that beats off during work touching my food. You must have meant to say sperm bank.

That's the only way I believe that. The only way I believe that. He must have been a slip of the tongue. Son, sperm bank, I get it. I've been working in a sperm bank. Yeah, boy. Finally. How Jewish is this guy?

He's like, community service, I'm going to work at a bank. It's the only thing that he knows how to do. He's like, yeah, this will work. Okay, keep going. On a new book about the Oklahoma City bombing, but I am trying to become the kind of person. He wrote a new book about the Oklahoma City bombing. That's what he's doing in his free time.

There's a joke here. There's a joke. I would imagine that. How many people died during the Oklahoma City bombing. Twenty five. Oh, you knew that more. I thought it was like thousands. No, no.

Hundreds. Several hundred. Yeah. Really? How many? I guess. Yes. I get that.

That's what they tell you. Yeah. Yeah. I've been waited. This is latest. One hundred. Oklahoma City. that's what they tell you is the 20th 168 I'm an Oklahoma denier it's big how many sperm died in a masturbation that's billions billions upon billions so yeah it's probably better joke than that i thought i thought the joke was like this guy gets canceled from all these politicians and all these people that like he was buddy buddy with yeah and all of a sudden he writes a book about a guy that blows up government buildings yeah it seems like he was very angry he was doing some

research yeah yeah he's doing some research how do I blow up a building full of people I hate? By the way, then he's going to make a fortune because he wrote People vs. OJ and then made a show on it and made millions and millions. So he probably made more money on this six-month leave than he would have just being a pundit on CNN every day. And this fucking loser still cares about being on TV. It's so pathetic, dude. This is the thing about fame. Wild. They get addicted to it. Even this loser fame, just being a pundit on CNN. It's so pathetic, dude. This is the thing about fame. Wild. They get addicted to it.

Even this, this is loser fame. Like, just being a pundit on CNN, like, that shouldn't be your dream. He's already wildly successful on these other things. He's not a CNN, like, staffer, right? He's someone that goes on frequently and just talks shit. But he cares so much about being on TV. He needs to be on fucking TV. That he's willing to apologize for masturbating in what he

thought was his public private space at home and go to therapy for it. That is the most loser shit I've ever seen in my entire life. And he'd be much more famous if he just got on Instagram and just started talking to the camera like, hey, what you want from me? I can't jerk off in my house. I can't jerk off in my house. Put out the video, son. Put out the motherfucking

video. Honestly, I would have said this. Yo, I thought the thing was off. I'm not a fucking weirdo, dude. I'm not a fucking weirdo. I was jerking off in my own home. I can't jerk off in my own home. What the fuck are you doing? 100% people would have been like, yeah, that's a good point. Yo, the arrogance. The arrogance of the people that work at the New Yorker to think

he would jerk off to them. You arrogant pigs. Nobody want to jerk off to you. You're not New York Times. Your cartoons don't even have color. Get the fuck out of here. If it was a Maxim call for the people that are in the magazine,

not the ones who write it, maybe I understand. But the fact that journalists, written journalists, could think that someone would want to jerk off to you. Ain't nobody jerking off to Matt Taibbi. Okay? Nobody jerking off to Matt Taibbi. Okay? Nobody jerking off to Glenn Greenwalt. Who the fuck? Matt Taibbi.

Who the fuck is jerking off to these people, yo? Who is jerking off the... Like, that is the deterrent. If you need to last longer, you pop on a New Yorker Zoom call. If you're jerking off about to nut, you pop on a New Yorker Zoom call. Okay, let me calm down a little bit.

The arrogance that you could immediately... Oh, he was jerking off about to nut you pop on new yorker's zoom call okay let me calm down a little bit the arrogance that you could immediately oh he was jerking off to me wouldn't you think he forgot to put on the zoom turn off the zoom 100 how you get mad at god and just hey you don't got a microphone you can't talk in my hey that's it just turn your camera off bro hey the fuck are you doing yeah that's it you can't have one homie that's your co-worker i know i would roast the fuck out of him it It'd be mad funny. I don't know. He's like 60 years old jerking off his 60-year-old dick. That shit's hilarious.

You let that shit rock. You start recording the screen. I would record the fuck out of the screen. I record the fuck out of the screen. I FaceTime him while I'm recording the screen and just see him look at his phone and turn it off. Oh, my phone's not more important than your jerk off? Nah, but he got to get back on TV because then he's forever known as the jerk off on Zoom.

He will be forever known as the jerk off. He has to do something to top it now. He can't top it. Because he's like the... Get fucked in your ass on Zoom. That's the only way you top it. He got to do that. He's like the fire press guy.

He got to take a Hulk Hogan flashlight that got the blonde mustache and he got to fuck that shit on Zoom. You got to do something. I bet if you said it was gay porn, people would be like, we got to let it slide. We can't shame gay people. He got to outwoke them Zoom. You got to do something. I bet if you said it was gay porn, people would be like, we got to let it slide. We can't shame gay people.

We got to do it. He got to outwoke them. That's actually a good point. If he got fucked in his ass on Zoom, we all be like, hey, it's the month, you know? The whole month, he can just do what he wants to do. Yo. But you know like the Fyre Fest guy who like sucks dick for water? It's like he's always going to be the guy who sucks dick for water.

Yeah. So it's like this guy, he don't want to be the Zoom jerking off that guy is a fucking hero dog he was willing to save lives yeah but i'm sure he does other things that he would like to be known why would you want to be known for anything else i suck dick to save hundreds of lives where's you guys sucking dick at a ymca shower fuck you selfish motherfucker that's not the worst dick he's up yeah yeah that's true selfless that's a heroic dick suck. If you're a gay guy in your 50s, you probably sucked a bunch of dicks you regret. That guy deserves a day in Pride Month.

You know what I mean? Like, for real. Think about that. A 50-year-old gay guy, you don't think he sucked some random dicks? Oh, God. Went down to tie his shoe, dick popped up. Probably every girl, probably anyone that's ever sucked a dick. Huh?

Probably anyone that's ever sucked a dick regrets sucking some dick anyone that's ever sucked a dick. Yeah. Regret sucking some dick. Yeah. I know, I do. Especially gay dudes. Because they be sucking dangling, bro. Gay dudes be sucking, bro. Yo, gay guys be sucking dicks. You think it's like a baby bottle?

Where you just hold it in front of a baby and they just put it in their mouth? They don't know what they're doing. They don't know that it's muscle memory. You pull a hard dick out a baby and they just put it in their mouth. They don't know what they're doing. They don't know that it's muscle memory. You pull a hard dick out around them and they just go and gravitate towards it. For real. Goo goo ga ga. They start saying goo goo ga ga. Goo goo ga ga.

They reach out with their hands and feet. They need it. Okay, let's finish this fucking losers video. That's it? Nothing left? Unbelievable, bro. Okay. I don't get why you got to go to therapy. I don't get why you got to go to therapy for jer, bro. I don't get why you gotta go to therapy.

I don't get why you gotta go to therapy for jerking off. I don't either. You gotta go to therapy to be like, how the fuck did I get fired for this? Hey! Hey, therapist! I'm going crazy over here. What does your therapist tell you? What do you guys work on? Hey, I jerked off by accident in front of people on a Zoom.

How can I not do that anymore in the future? Just close the laptop. That's time they do this exercise 10 times yeah he sits there he just reps every day just like a personal training um all right what else we got boys what else we got there we got that joe biden situation oh yeah joe biden wilding bro joe biden trying to be inclusive joe biden now you're trying to be inclusive joe bryan now you're trying to be inclusive do you have the video out fucking poor biden so biden's at the g7 summit g7 summit is basically this meeting of countries where they decide to do some shit then never do it yeah i love that like do they ever has anything

ever been accomplished at a g i think so i think the most recent thing is that they were going to try to ban coal emissions by the year 2030 and then america and russia said nah yup yup honestly i love it i love it when the world wants to do something that's like better for the world and then we go no like the paris accords or whatever that shit is for the climate i love the fact that we're like nah even if it's better for the world i love the fact we go nah now we back in that it was trump that wanted we should back out again we should back out again i believe that whole that's for y'all what if it's y'all stop admitting y'all need to stop admitting we admit whatever the we want this freedom bro that's it is that kill some chlorofluorocarbons

i caught that the ozone layer, bro. I'll fart. If I can fart right now, I'll do it on cue. I'm trying to take out the ozone layer. Fuck that. Yeah.

Fuck an ozone layer, bro. Yeah. Fuck an ozone layer. You know who don't want an ozone layer neither? You know who don't want an ozone layer neither? Who?

Elon Musk. Think about how much quicker you charge them solar panels without an ozone layer Getting in the way And faster you go to space And you go to Ozone layer just blocking

Yeah Ozone layer in the way bro That's true No 40% of spacecraft Don't get to space They get caught Because of the ozone layer They just chilling in the ozone

Yeah Right So you know what I mean Paris Accords on some cuck shit This is what I do to Paris Accord Slapping his fucking mouth That's what I do to Paris Accord You do gotta rename it, bro.

Fuck that. If that shit was called the Brooklyn Accord, then maybe we could have it. But I'm not doing that Paris Accord. Nothing. No Paris nothing, bro.

It's American names or it's nothing. You can slap that dude from the Paris Accord or get four months in jail. Less. Less. I'll slap him.

I'll literally slap him. I'll slap the shit out of him on a motorcycle that is emitting chlorofluoride. Are you doing a drive-by? I do a drive-by in the most emitting shit. I'll take a tractor trailer. I'll take a tractor trailer.

I'll come up in a John Deere. Like that. You got a taxi and a private jet. Taxi and a private jet. Roll down the window. Bag it to the mouth. Boom. Suck it, nerd.

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Yeah Boom Polar bears can swim Polar bears know how to swim yo And if they don't know how to swim Find some land What you doing on the ice anyway? What are they doing on the ice for what?

For what? For no reason Who wants to just be on the ice? Fucking selling Coca-Cola all day That's it Dorks Alright so we out the Paris Accords Alright so play the video of Bumbling Biden to just be on ice. Fucking selling Coca-Cola all day. That's it. Dorks. All right.

So we out the Paris Accords. All right. So play the video of bumbling Biden. Motherfucker. Let's go. He's just happy they gave him a seat. This is embarrassing.

Just say hi to people and to welcome those who have just joined us. We need some pretty spectacular weather with them. Prime Minister Modi, President Ramaphosa,

President Putin, and Justin Trudeau. And the President of South Africa. Spit it out, Boris. I'm also tired of this bumbling idiot. When you get an exit place. I'll go over that again. Let me tell you. Bumbling idiot Yo spit it out Yo press pause I'm sorry we're watching

So basically what happened is this Boris Johnson can't say a fucking sentence Without stumbling over himself Doing his best fucking Hugh Grant impression You don't got the charm You don't got the chutzpah. Okay. What does he look like?

He looks like something Trump. Yeah. Right. It's like. If Trump was like a scarecrow or something. Yeah. But it's more like, it's like, like Trump fell in a river. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like. He disheveled Trump. Yeah. He's Kramer Trump. Yeah. He's Kramer Trump. Yes.

His hair is all crazy. Kramer Trump. He can't get a fucking sentence. Yes. Hair's all crazy. Kramer Trump. He can't get a fucking sentence out. He basically thanked all the countries for being there. And then Biden thought that he left out South Africa. Yeah. Right? Because that's what he calls Kamala.

And he goes, you forgot South Africa. And then he goes, I'm in South Africa, which I did say. But still, thank you. That's it. Our president can't even remember seven countries. Six. He couldn't even remember six. Six fucking countries, bro.

Why he need to remember South Africa? Technically, it's the G7 plus five. South Africa's in the plus five. It used to be the G8. But Russia left. They withdrew because of the crema while they were suspended because of crema what accord is this from dude what accord was that honda we renaming the paris accord to the honda accord hey then i'm in then your boy's in

yeah that's a reliable accord yeah i'm with that it's actually pretty pretty spacious. The Accord survived a murder. Okay. Yeah, I know. That's why I'm not getting rid of it. I'm over your Tesla. Point is, why you got to remember South Africa? Who gives a fuck about South Africa?

Who gives a fuck about Boris Johnson? Your name is Boris, dog. That's not a name I got to respect. Boris Johnson. Historically speaking, the English haven't given that much of a fuck about South Africa. Yeah, I'm saying. They did implement an apartheid system. It's pretty bad.

So, Biden was like yo england make sure you don't forget about south africa this time because y'all be forgetting all the time and then he's like i did say you fucking nincompoop how the hell are you still here i like how he was like stopping him from talking and shit like that like yo put some respect no he bought it like i thought i was about to give him one backhand he was about boris was gonna hit up yo it's war now. Right? Like, come on, yo.

Son, we going to war, son. We going to war in England, yo. All right. Real talk. We about to pull up, vaccinate as fuck these weak-lunged bitches. Yeah. Treat them like the ozone, bro. Treat them like the ozone. Treat them like the ozone, yeah.

That's right. We coughing on these weak-lunged bitches. Start throwing that tea overboard. Fuck that shit. Tucking the tea. Cough right in their mouth. They got no teeth to block it That shit going right through the spaces

In their fucking teeth Yeah Let's get Buckingham dog Let's get Buckingham But we taking the palace We just gonna walk into England And take the palace I could take that palace

With literally six of my guys Yeah I think I could take Buckingham palace With six of my guys Slap the shit out of one of their stupid hats. I want you to slap your hat. You push the hat and then he disappears. He goes

all the way into the hat. I'm not impressed. Your big talent is you do nothing. Yeah, I've been doing that on dates since I was 17 years old. Sit there and stare. Giving him that back. That's how you look, bro. Just laying there.

But for real, yo, we might have to invade England. I didn't like it. Yo, don't this shit right here. Nah, we're not going to do that. We're not going to do that. Would Trump let him do that? No chance, Trump would not have let him do that. No, he wouldn't.

No fucking chance. Trump probably would have thought it was him looking. He's like, why am I talking to myself? Trump would have been like, the guy from South Africa is white? Yeah, what's going on? He's from Africa. That's weird. Anyway, so they're going to try to do some shit, but nothing's going to get done because that's how the

fucking world works. These guys don't do jack shit. That's going to change when Schultz is president in 2032. Listen, I'm not going to be president. 2032. I'll fuck up a president though. Let's box. Let's box.

Actually, don't say president because I think that's the one thing that's actually a felony. Okay. Foreign president. If you want to set the match, me versus Obama, I mean, we could do it. No, he you want to set the match me versus Obama. I mean we could do it Yo, if you want to set the match and we can do it we could do we could raise money What you play a world star what do you mean fucking you up on world We could do it I got love love for obama i voted for

obama but for the right price he could get slept for the right for the right price he could get with a fucking newport hanging out his lip no no no no no no i'm throwing haymakers i'm gonna call him drones over the top over top. It's going down. It can happen, bro. He's going to take you to the court, just wash you real quick. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Fucking cross you, jump a J. It's wet.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. That's motherfucking... He'll beat you at any point. He's from Hawaii. He can probably surf better. Oh, shit. That was fast. Fucking Howley.

Look at this Howley right here, bro. He's like, Father's Day. I'll show you how to fucking surf, you corny bitch. Wow. You a Howley, bro. Yo, that's foul. Yo. Son, that was foul.

This guy talk story, bro. You dug deep. Just Fire Island versus Maui. Oh, shit. I surf better than him, and I fight better than him, and I play ball better than him. Nah, bro. I bet he ain't almost die in Hawaii. I bet he surfed them waters many times.

He knew that current I bet he saw your seaweed story And he was like this motherfucker almost got got by seaweed Hey Michelle Take a look at this guy He almost got killed by a fern bro A fern Your motherfucker almost got stuck between two ferns Zach Galifianakis

Everybody at home Come shred with Schultz Scooter surf Inside the American Dream Hall Okay Father's Day From 10 to 12 10pm to 12 midnight You know what I mean

We only got a couple tickets left No seaweed in that one It's a safe environment Without coral So your board Don't get wrapped around You almost die And your friends

Make fun of your near-death experience. Come serve with an amateur. Okay, come serve with an amateur. Fuck you! Where's Obama serving? Fuck you. Go serve with Obama. Piece of shit.

Obama, you're invited cordially. We'll hold the ticket for you. I love Obama. I love Obama. I'm just saying he could get these hands for the right amount of money. He could get the hands, bro. You don't think? For the right amount of money, He could get the hands, bro. You don't think? For the right amount of money, you get knocked out?

$10 million? You don't think? You wouldn't fight Oman for $10 million? You'd get knocked out for $10 million. Son, son, son. He's waiting to fight somebody. You know what he got to deal with with Michelle and shit like that? Oh, yeah.

Hey, hey. I wouldn't fight Michelle. That's what I'm saying, son. Her hands would be nice. She's jacked, bro. She's jacked. I'm not coming close to fighting Michelle. I'm not even coming close. You wildin'. Uh-uh. Uh? All the money. Yeah, but think I'm not coming close to fighting Michelle. I'm not even coming close.

You wildin'. Uh-uh. Uh? All of them. Yeah, but think. Barack can hold his own with Michelle. That motherfucker can go. Yeah.

I don't know. All the arguments he's lost in the house. Three black women. Come on, son. You challenging the wrong one, bro. He might fuck me up, yo. Obama might fuck me up just off the strength. Oh, yeah.

Wow. That's true, bro. Imagine the restraint he had. Oh my God, he could let it all out. He's like the water boy. He's just been building up for decades and he can see you and picture Michelle nagging him and just fucking beat the shit out of you.

Oh my God, alright, so maybe I gotta be careful with Obama, I'm just saying. We gotta find somebody. You know what I mean? Pence? Oh yeah, you can take it. Should we do like. You know what I mean? Pence. Oh, yeah. You can take it. Should we do like a jelly wrestling or whatever that shit is? Like mud wrestling? No. It's with petroleum jelly.

I bet. I bet. Gasoline jelly. Whoa. It's like jelly wrestling. Now, that again, Mike Pence. Mike Pence. Hell, yeah.

If a loser gets to fuck the winner. I'll twist his cock right off his waist. I'll take his cock and I'll twist it right off. You're threatening him with a good time, buddy. Give him a little Indian bird. What? What I was saying? I was just saying he's going to want to fuck you after the fight.

That's all. Loser gets to fuck the winner. He'll be in. If you just offer him a little gay shit, he's in. That's Mike Pence, dog. Mike Pence gettable oh by the way uh i was serious about that surfing by the way so there's literally a couple spots left i just want to let y'all know i don't make any money off this i just want that to be very clear i told him the price of the tickets as low as possible because i'm not taking any money this

is not for me to make money at all i literally just want to surf with my friends and i want to give the opportunity to surf for you guys very hard to surf In a wave pool have that kind of private experience So I think they said it's up to like 20 people or total that can do it So if you guys want to try that out maybe come with your father or Father's Day But again, there's not something I'm profiting off of and it's a dope spot. They're the name of the venue again Yeah, it's the scoot and surf at the American Dream Mall in Jersey. It's a super safe environment, different types of waves.

If you're not an expert at all, you're a complete beginner, you'll be able to do it. And if you are an expert, it's always fun to surf inside that thing. I just think it's really cool. Surf is my favorite thing to do, so I want to share that with you guys. What else, man? What else we got going on? All right.

You want to talk about Jokic? Yeah, let's talk about these playoffs a little bit, man? What else we got going on? All right. You want to talk about Jokic? Yeah, let's talk about these playoffs a little bit, man. Well, first of all, Jokic got a flagrant two. I love how every time there's a flagrant two called Twitter lights up, and then half the people are like, oh, shit, what'd they do? They're canceled. It's like, y'all are waiting for us to get canceled. what they do. They're canceled.

It's like, y'all are waiting for us to get canceled. But, so basically, he fouls kind of hard Payne. What's the guy's first name?

Cameron Payne. And he gets a flagrant two and he gets kicked out of the game. He is the MVP. Yeah. And the foul, he doesn't even hit

Cameron Payne, it looks like. Maybe he like just swipes down hard. He swipes down, but he just brushes his face. He's the sitting MVP. If LeBron did that foul on anybody, he's not going anywhere. I don't even think they give him flagrant one.

I think they just call foul. But he barely even touches him. And also, it's Cameron Payne. If Jokic did that foul on CP3, if he did it against Booker, if he did it against someone who mattered, then, okay, I understand maybe a flagrant one, maybe. But Cameron Payne is not changing the game in any way. No. mattered then okay i understand maybe a flagrant one maybe yeah but cameron pain yeah it's not changing the game in any way no so it's like he's a good player that's it he's a good player if the

sons weren't whooping that ass already and if it wasn't already a 3-0 lead i don't think that this is a flagrant too but i think they understood what was happening in the series and they were like all right fine let's get him out of here. But it's weird that he didn't get the preferential treatment. You were the MVP of the league. It bothers me. This is the MVP. There should be preferential treatment.

Yeah. You got to keep your stars in the game. And I don't mind that in and of itself. Everybody gets treated equally, but the precedent has been set throughout my entire lifetime. Stars get preferential treatment. So it bothers me that all of a sudden this guy gets ejected from a game. I don't think most players

would get ejected for this foul. Flagrant one, maybe. Flagrant two blows my fucking mind. Give him a flagrant one. He was going for the ball. He did hit his face and that's part of the flagrant call. But I think what made it bad is that he got in the motherfucker's face afterwards. Devin Booker ran across and got in his face and he was like, fuck you.

He was going at him too. If you get the tech and you know you got the flagrant, just chill. But the fact that Devin Booker ran across and got in his face and he was like fuck you so it's like if you get the tech and you know you got the flagrant just chill but the fact that he tried to now almost instigate a fight that's why they were like nah you out of here I don't know it is interesting though what's happening with CP3

because I'm sure we've said plenty of times on this podcast that he's just not good enough to get it done his body won't let him and we podcast that he's just not good enough to get it done. His body won't let him. His body won't let him. And we might have even said he's not good enough to get it done. If he wins a championship this year, he erases any criticism. Everything is different. It is unbelievable.

And we've said on this podcast what he needs is a beta score. Yes. And I don't know if Devin Booker's beta, because he seems like a pretty alpha player but i think he's fine with just going out there getting buckets and then letting cp3 manage the rest of the team yes and i think the cp3 respects booker he's like yo this guy gets buckets i can pass him the ball and he's gonna knock down these tough shots and i think we even said on the podcast we're like yeah he needs a kd and it's like well yeah who doesn't need a kd

but devin booker was not looked at as one of the top five players in the league but now that cp3 and him are on the same team and booker is putting up these big fucking numbers i guess they're locking down offensively you're starting to see how absolutely amazing cp3 is as cp3 is and managing a team and making a deep run in the playoffs you know i think devin booker and cp3 works devin booker's 13 years younger. So it's a whole different, like Blake Griffin was younger, but what, like four or five years? Yeah, they felt like they were in the same generation.

I mean, you're not going to see your, like I'm not going to see your look up to you, you're four or five years older than me. 13 years is a big fucking gap. Like you watched him play ball growing up. You tried to emulate him. Yeah, CB3 came to the league at 20, so you were seven. So you watched seven yeah so you

watch this guy you've seen how good he is you look up to him and now he's on your team you're like oh that's a guy i want to emulate cb3 if you're into being like him yeah absolutely i just need to make sure you want to win i'm gonna ride you pretty hard but if you're 13 years younger than me it's tough love if you're my age it's like yo who the fuck are you talking to yeah are you crazy like i'm even if i'm jayden tardin i'm what six years younger or whatever but it's like bro i'm a fucking mvp fuck you i don't care if you're four or five years older 13 years ah this is tough love this is coaching it's a father son big brother little brother thing whatever it is so i think that's the main reason and like you said

i think devin booker just wants to be a scorer and he's fine being a fucking killer scorer yeah and that's it and then you can make me a more complete player but like you manage the game i'll get and most importantly manage the team yeah like you manage all the guys get them motivated make sure they're staying doing what they're supposed to do and i don't have to do that i just have to get buckets yeah like for a guy who likes to score and it seems like that's all he likes to do that's the dream yeah yeah i mean it's tough to take every shot for your team not every shot but like it's tough to take the majority shots for your team and then yell at a motherfucker for not getting back on d when that guy wants to touch the rock too but now the guy who's yelling at you to get back on d is the guy who didn't just shoot yeah yeah yeah right it's the guy who also passed

the ball so someone else could yes you might gotta listen to guy. The guy who just wants to run the offense. Yeah. It's not like you're talking about another player who's like, I want to get the point or the assist. CB3 is like, I want us to get the point. Just trust me and we'll figure this shit out. And it is looking very likely that,

um, the sons could not play the nets, but maybe the bucks. Yeah. Yeah. That's sad. I mean, you look at what happened. So Hardets, but maybe the Bucs. Yeah. That's sad. I mean, look at what happened. So Harden goes down with a hamstring injury. It looks like he might not even play this series.

I wouldn't think so. Hamstring is usually a nagging injury. Nagging injury takes a little while. Kyrie turns the ankle. Yeah, badly. Badly turns the ankle. So he's going to be limited. Maybe not come back until, who knows, game six.

Maybe game seven if they can push. And P.J. Tucker, for whatever reason, is doing a great job on KD. I think he held KD scoreless in the fourth quarter. That's wild. That's crazy. And nobody's having this conversation about it, which is quite interesting.

But KD not scoring in the fourth quarter of a playoff game when he's the only guy on the team that's out there, that's there to score, that's tricky. Bucks take two in a row. It's going back to Brooklyn. But still, it's KD by himself pretty much. I mean, no disrespect to the other players on the team,

but when you talk about the big three, we know exactly who the fuck we're talking about. So because of these circumstances, not because of the talent, because of the circumstances, it's looking like the Bucks could get out of there, which is unreal, because you never thought that was going to happen after the first two games. Nope. They could actually skate by, and who the fuck knows what happens after that?

They play Philly? That's not a toss-up. I don't think Philly's a crazy hard game for the Bucs. You got two guys, the two best players on both teams possibly. I guess Embiid's better, but Ben Simmons can't shoot. Giannis can't shoot. That kind of offsets each other. You know, usually if there's one player that can't shoot,

you just play off of him and then you're four on five and everything's different. You got two teams playing four on five. It's four on four. Yeah. I mean, like, I'm not that scared of Philly if I'm the Bucs. I am scared of Brooklyn with a healthy big three. Oh, yeah. Terrified.

But the thing about Kyrie, dog, he's always fucking hurting. I didn't think it would matter because Harden was an Ironman. And Durant, he has either crazy injuries or no injuries. Or none. Yeah. It's really interesting to see. And then it's also, now you got to be a little concerned about KD's health. Because if KD's got to carry that team, yes, he's rested the Achilles.

Yeah. But you don't know what type of other injuries are just kind of lingering. And because you get to take some plays off, you don't put that type of pressure on it. But now that you're going to be the focal point of that offense and you're going to be going hard against a guy who's been busting his ass playing D on you, you never know what can happen.

I would not be surprised if a KD injury pops up in the next couple games. I mean, there's a limit to what you can put your body through. Yeah. And he's going to have to surpass that limit to carry the team. Yeah. Ain't this the most Brooklyn way to do it? What's that? You get all the heat.

Everybody's all about Brooklyn. Yeah. It's just such a Brooklyn way to handle it. And all the tension is on you. And then you get so close, but somehow it just gets fucked up in the end. You ready to be the borough. And somehow it just gets fucked up in the end. After the first be the burrow? And somehow it just gets fucked up in the end. After the first two games, people thought they were going to sweep.

I know. They beat their ass, though. I know. And now, fuck. And they were up one with seven seconds left in game three. They win that game. Who gives a fuck? Kyrie can come back for game seven, even if he turns his ankle.

Who gives a shit? But they lost that game because Drew Holiday had this nice little game-winning spinning layup, and then that changed everything. KD came damn close on a great shot, like hard shot. If they win that game, the series is over. They lose that game in the final seven seconds. Now they get blown

out here, and Kyrie is hurt, and they might lose two more after this, maybe, and now everything is different. And if you are the Suns, wouldn't you like to play the Bucs?'t you like to play the Bucs? I would like to play the Bucs. Or the 76ers? I'll be honest.

I don't want to play the 76ers. Why? Ben Simmons is just... He creates so many defensive matchup issues. If I'm them, I'm putting Ben Simmons on Devin Booker. I'm just going like, yo, a big, long body.

Just get your hand up and fuck up the, fuck up the, what's it called? The shot, but like the form. Like a lot of times you can disrupt the shot

before it gets here. Disrupt it on the way up. Have them like reaching out to get around your hand or something. It's like, remember when Tayshaun Prince would cause matchup problems

back in the day? He played for Detroit long. He's almost like a seven-footer. And he just had that length. So it's like put some fucking length. Throw some length at Devin Booker and try to disrupt that shooting. And then make CP3 do it by himself. He's not going to be able to.

Yeah, but he can run an offense. I think that can exploit any mismatches. You know, I didn't know. I heard CP3 chose the Suns. He wanted to go to the Suns. Oh, really? He saw it. Yeah.

Somebody, I don't have many sources, but I got a guy that was like, CB3, no. Pretty much every team except OKC, he was like, I want to go there. Interesting. Yeah. Well, if it's every team except one. Well, Houston traded him. But every other team was like, no, I want to go to Houston.

I want to go to Clippers. I want to go to Phoenix. Every other team he went to. Yeah. Every time he's been traded, he's had control over where he want to go to houston i want to go to clippers i want to go to phoenix uh every other time he's been traded went to oh okay every time he's been traded he's he's had control over where he wants to go and he saw that something in the suns that they went ain't knowing the bubble but we were like we didn't see this yeah and he was like nah you put me there there i can fucking make things because that was the issue with harden right is like he he had his guy who could shoot the fucking lights out yep but he wasn't willing to be subservient. No.

And they got into beef on the bench. Remember when they were like barking at each other and shit? Yeah, 100%. He said, listen, I can't deal with the art. Harden was like, I don't want to deal with that ego. Yeah. It was kind of dumb of Houston because we're at Harden do literally a year later. Out.

Out of here. So you get rid of CP3 for the guy who leaves you in a year. And you gave up the bag to get rid of CP3. Get acid, draft pick, draft pick, draft pick. Let's get this guy out of here. So you get rid of CP3 for the guy who leaves you in a year. And you gave up the bag to get rid of CP3. Get acid, draft pick, draft pick, draft pick. Let's get this guy out of here. Yeah. And I didn't hate it at the time, but now I see what CP3 saw in himself. If you put me there with these young kids, I can make shit happen.

I can make shit happen. Yeah, it's interesting. I might start watching. Probably not. But I might start watching playoffs. We'll see. This is the time to get into it, because you invest for about a month, and then you're good. And then we out of here. What else we got? Did you hear about the Christian Eriksson thing?

Oh yeah, this was really interesting. This seems wild, yeah. It's kind of wild. There's like a few interesting pieces to it. So basically Christian Eriksson is this Danish football or soccer player. He plays for Denmark. Yep.

And they're playing Finland. And in the middle of the game, like right at halftime, he just collapses on the field. Yep. And they're playing Finland. Yep. And in the middle of the game, like right at halftime, he just collapses on the field. Yep. And then they have to bring the, what is it, the AEP machine to shock him back to life. They got to do heart resuscitation. Yeah, all that shit.

The team forms a wall around him. His wife comes out on the field. They're filming her. It's this whole thing. He died. And basically, yeah, he died on the field. He died on the field, and then they brought him back. Brought him back. He's, I think, semi-conscious as they're like filming her it's this whole thing he died and basically yeah he died on the field he died on the field then they brought him back brought him back he's like i think semi-conscious as they're taking him off he goes to the hospital then they end the game yeah and

then well no they started playing again yeah fortunately uh like after they kind of figured out that he was like stable in the hospital they resumed the game like i think an hour and a half later yeah then they finished the game yeah and then finland won actually so the team that he was not on they lost oh no yeah so kind of but it raises course we're already losing no zero zero i almost saw my teammate die you can maybe play in an hour and a half so that's my question i'm like you almost see your teammate die should you play the game that you can wait a day dog i mean i would play you should win the game he's also you gotta win the game he's also the best player ah yeah he plays on inter inter milan he's amazing yeah exactly yeah because he gives his all these other motherfuckers ain't giving it their all bro like

you play to the point i mean this is the euros right yeah so anybody who doesn't care about soccer which is me as well, but every two years they do basically a world cup for Europe, which is called the euros. Yeah. They do it every four years. Sorry. Every four years. Yeah.

But it's staggered with the world cup. Yeah. My bad. My bad. Uh, you should probably explain all this. So, but it means a lot to them. You know, like, you know, like America, we don't care about like the nationals. Like, cause we just like, who cares?

FIBA, international basketball. Yeah. We don't care about these things. Cause we're like who cares fiba international basketball yeah we don't care about these things because we're like we know we're going to win the the major tournament so why do we care about this little thing here but uh in the in europe it really matters like winning a euro is a huge accomplishment right like um it's it could be like a stain on your legacy if you don't win a euro right i think i remember when cristiano won for portugal right yeah like he won't even though i'm over didn't play in the last game yeah right but uh but yeah people were like oh wow that's a huge

leg up that he has on uh mezzi mezzi's never won like uh whatever cup it would be world cup like copa america i don't know if they have yeah yeah so um okay so this is a big fucking deal the guy's playing his ass off he's giving everything yeah so now a lot of people on Twitter are also pissed because they go, oh, why is ESPN and BBC and all these media sites, why are they broadcasting him getting resuscitated?

Why not? What else are you going to broadcast? You can't go to commercials during a soccer game, right? That's what they did. That's what y'all. So I'm like... Y'all decided no commercial breaks.

It was complicated. They were like... You think they want to show that? They want to show commercials. They want to make money. They're in the business of making money, not the business of showing motherfuckers get picked up. Exactly. But there's nothing to do. They didn't sell anything.

You don't think they want to have the McDonald's commercial going? This is also how you get a heart attack. They would love that. But this is what they have to show. The most action all game. The game is 0-0 anyway. That's the most exciting thing to happen. That's funny. Of course you're going to it oh my god son how you watch a game is zero zero at the half that shit

do you think that's unethical do you think that's unethical i don't know it's conflicting is this like they're like showing this they're showing the wife like crying on tv and it's like nah that's that's important though because i mean what if what if she's some gold digging bitch that like was about to get what if she's some gold digging bitch That like was about to get half And she's like yeah don't do that defibrillator Will you defibrillate him Let God work

You know like if she was crying that means you know That she really loves him that's beautiful How do you get a heart attack You're just running around Aren't they in the best shape That's how much he's going for And then that's the other thing that was wild is that literally the team's like physician had to come out like today, actually, and that he was like, he didn't get vaccinated

because there was basically this big Twitter shitstorm basically being like, oh, apparently all the players had to get vaccinated. And then his physician had to come out and say, no, he wasn't. And there is a thing that there's been 800. So he lied about being vaxxed? No, like there was a miscommunication where it's like, does he have to be vaccinated or not? Oh, fuck.

That's the thing I don't understand, though, because I thought they all had to be vaccinated. They should have. They're telling NBA players to be vaccinated, too, and LeBron is not. He's not? Yo, I got, it's time to open up the country. It's time to open up the country 100%.

I started to do the math 100%. You said this like it was a new take. No, no, no. You made a song called it. I know we put out a 100% I started to do the math You said this like it was a new take You made a song called Open Up I know we put out a song but now I did the math And we really need to open up Have you been bugged about it? How's that equation? I took these Japanese shit pills last night

And they were supposed to kick in this morning And they just kicked in right now So I have to go take an explosive shit But real quick This is why you gotta open up the country And I'm gonna say this really fast You have to go take an explosive shit. I have to take an explosive shit. But real quick, this is why you got to open up the country. And I'm going to say this really fast because I have to shit my pants. You have to open up the country. This is why.

And it's only America. And by the way, we can open up the country to other people traveling to us as well. Even if you're not vaccinated, whatever you are, bring that ass. You are good to come over here. Okay. This is why we can open up the country. Everybody in America who has wanted to get the vaccine was able to get it by now. At least one shot, you were able to get it by now.

If you haven't been vaccinated by now, it's because you're either lazy or you're an anti-vaxxer. Now, everybody who's been vaccinated is safe to carry on with life as usual, right? You have the vaccine. You don't need to wear a mask. You mask you need to do any of these things everybody that is an anti-vaxxer or refuses to get vaccinated has been wanted us to get back to normal and not wear masks and do that kind of stuff because they're saying i'm willing to take the risk i'm willing to take the risk of getting corona it's okay run it back so who the fuck are we protecting with wearing masks and social distance policies there's no point anymore. The vaccinated people are like, I'm doing this so we get back to normal.

The people who are not vaccinated are like, son, let's get it. Let's go. I'll take the risk. Who are we protecting? Nobody. It's time to open it up completely. There shouldn't be a single social distancing rule. There shouldn't be a single mask rule.

Everything should be back to normal. We've had enough time. These other countries that can't get vaccines, you do you. But now everybody could get the vaccine if they wanted to. How did you not think about this before the song opened up? I thought that was the whole reason we had the song, is you did this math. I was trying to be provocative.

I was trying to get the kids going. Alright guys, we're going to take a break for a second because we need to save you some money. Alright, summer's here and the days are getting longer, meaning you've got some extra time to see if you're overpaying for home and auto insurance. And we're going to help you do it. As adults, summer fun includes saving money. Policy Genius is a free and easy way to check if you could be saving cash on what you're paying for home and auto insurance. Are your home and auto policies almost up for renewal?

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more tickets for sale go there right now dandrewshawls.com use the website get those tickets immediately immediately immediately i'm stoked as fuck to show the that more people can get into those shows so go there get that right now. The Infamous Tour is coming. Go get your tickets while they're still available. The shows that are sold out, I'm sorry, guys. That's what it is. Go get them right now, dandrasholt.com. Obviously, we've got plenty of cities.

But yeah, we're starting up in Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Los Angeles, Oklahoma City, Detroit, Milwaukee, San Diego, Austin for the special, Louisville, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Washington, D.C., Madison, Detroit, Milwaukee, San Diego, Austin for the special, Louisville, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Washington, D.C., Madison, Chicago, Minneapolis, Fargo, and Boston. We also will have an announcement for a couple new cities. I'll tell you guys about that probably next week. But yeah, go get those tickets.

Go get those. Check out those shows. And Akash, what you got cooking up? This week, Kansas City, Thursday through Saturday. I'm going to be at the comedy club of Casey, July 1st through July 3rd. And I'm going to be in San Diego at the American comedy club, July 22nd through 24th.

I'm going to be in Baltimore and my goobies joke house and August 5th through August 8th. We just added the show in Naples. I'm going to be back in Florida, my future home and off the hook comedy club. And this was also just announced September 23rd through 25th. I'm going to be at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival in Austin. So bring that ass through akashsingh.com for tickets.

And guys, if you're in the New York area looking for a place to film your podcast, come over to WTF Media Studios in Soho, New York. If you need help building out your studio or home studio, you can also book a consult session with me at WTFMediaStudios.com. And now let's get back to the show. All right, and we're back. Important thing that I want to say, very important message. Huge congratulations to our buddy Sagar and Jetty and Crystal Ball,

who is his partner. And they went independent. They trusted themselves they trusted their fan base they trusted their supporters and they they left uh the rising which was part of the hill or i don't even know what the so many names of that fucking show i just saw it as saga and crystal and they started their own thing and um i think it was like their third day in they were the number one one politics podcast on the planet. I mean, like, they really are just killing it out there.

So go check out their stuff. If you want to go to a place for your information that is willing to call out both sides. I mean, Sagar is conservative and Crystal is liberal, but they both call out the bullshit of their political parties. And they give the news great perspective. He's always somebody, someone I go to to get, I think, a on it is important yeah they are very important and like uh i'm just i'm proud of them for going for it and yep and trying it and taking that risk i mean like you know saga uh is is a young guy he's hungry and he's willing to risk take crystal got kids it's hard when you got kids you know to like take that risk yeah Yeah. Like you got children to feed.

Yes. Betting on yourself is a tricky thing, but they fucking did it. And, um, I really see them being so successful. So go check them out on YouTube. Check out the podcast as well.

It's called breaking points is the show. I'm sure you just put their name in, you'll find it, but we just want to shout them out. We want to have you guys back on a pod and we love y'all. So I just want to say them out we want to have you guys back on a pod and we love y'all so i just want to say that but um the bachelorette is curious about anal and that is uh an instagram video that i came across as i was looking on her instagram now i want to show you something uh that's quite interesting the reason i know about this um is this the current bachelorette katie thurston uh took a picture what this is this. The current Bachelorette, Katie Thurston,

took a picture of what? This is a crazy transition. We were just giving it up for these political pundits. It makes perfect sense. We're finding her breaking point. I'm on Instagram and Jared Freed, a comic

we've had on the podcast, down in Miami, our boy Jared, he does these amazing rants about The Bachelorette. He also does this live show about The Bachelorette after each episode on his YouTube. And he took a picture with Katie, the current Bachelorette, after one of his shows

in Tacoma. I guess she's from Washington. She came out to the show. I look and I'm scrolling through her Instagram and I'll just be completely honest i noticed that she had more uh lips now and uh you know so i was like let me go to the back of her instagram at the end and see if i can find a video and from like way back in the day and see if she didn't have as much lips. Get some movement and see what's going on. Exactly, because it's harder, you know?

So if there's no filter, you could see the video, blah, blah, blah. So I go back and I just pick a random video. There's no title for this video or anything. You can see right now. There's no title. It's just a random fucking video that I just pick. I press play. Al, press play if you can.

Is this what you do on the toilet? I don't know. Yeah, maybe. This is probably what I do. Okay, here we go. Do I start with this question? I'm going to start with this question. Have you ever shit on a dick?

I have not, but my friend shit on her husband's dick during anal, and now I'm horrified, and I just don't know where she went wrong. Like, ladies, how are you preparing yourself to avoid that scenario like if i have coffee in the morning is like anal like off the table for the day if i have taco bell is it off the table for a week like what if you haven't had your daily poop yet

or do you do some special like prep work up there. I don't know. I don't know. This is for educational purposes only because I cannot be the only one inquiring. I just know I'm fucking scared and I need some advice. Like I hear it's a game changer. But I am not getting into the arena until I have some details. Queen. Queen. She earned it. This is a great video. It's great. Queen. Queen.

She earned it. This is a great video. It's great. It's funny. I mean, she's got some punchlines in it. It's good. It's very good. It's just still up on her Instagram.

You know that The Bachelor looked through her Instagram and told her to scrub every single fucking picture that wasn't on brand, whatever. She was already on The Bachelor by the time this video happened, I think. She came in with a dildo, bro. I think. She came in with a dildo, bro. She what? She came in with a dildo. First episode of The Bachelor. She brought the dilly out. She brought the motherfucking dilly out. She went from dildo girl to The Bachelorette.

That's usually how it is. If you have a dildo with you all the time, you're a fucking bachelorette. She might be the most appropriate thing ever. What's the biggest thing at a bachelorette. But she might be the most appropriate thing ever. What's the biggest thing at a bachelorette party? Fake dicks everywhere.

Wow. That's the bachelorette. On brand. That's the bachelorette. On brand. They know what they're doing. But the point is, that's a wild girl

out there talking about shitting on dicks. Still up on Instagram. So glad I found this. And what drew you to this? Because you shared this on your Instagram. I shared it on my Instagram.

I shared it on my Instagram. I shared it on my Instagram. I was like, The Bachelor is about that business. I mean, I just thought it was interesting. I'm looking at him trying to find the words why he shared this shit on his Instagram. I did. I shared it. I shared it on my Instagram. This girl's talking about shitting on dicks.

Yeah. She's on an ABC show. The show's on ABC on prime time. I'm about to go home after this episode I'm gonna watch it with my girl the whole time and look at her like she takes dicks in her fucking ass She said it's a game changer she wants the game change. Yeah, she did here. It's a game change She wants a shit split and not one of those guys on their introductions brought that up They ain't doing no research.

They ain't doing no research. They're bringing a fucking ball pit. They're doing all this other stuff. The cat man kind of. Well, how'd the cat man do it? Cats lick their ass. Cats lick their ass, but they didn't shove nothing up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you know what I mean? None of them brought up. Licking his light work. Say what? Licking his, that's light work. Dude, how did a. Child's play. How did a black guy that's on the show not put up his brown fist?

And what? I'm seeing where you go. Keep going. I'm just saying. He's like, I would like to continue for this to be brown. Yeah, he did go where I thought he was going to go. I was like, he's not going to go there. It wasn't there. It wasn't there.

Oh, fuck. Damn, dude. I thought it was kind of close. I was just thinking of the moment here, dude. I'm just fucking spitballing. It's called improv, okay? Jeez. Yes, and, Al. You got a yes, and. We, dude. I thought it was kind of close. I was just thinking of the moment, dude. I'm just fucking spitballing. It's called improv, okay? Jeez. Yes, and, Al.

You got a yes, and, and we got to go with it. Go back to the bathroom. Come back to the bathroom. Anyway, this girl takes dicks in her fucking kink. In her what? I'm losing it. I don't know what's happening, bro. I'm losing it, dude.

She tasted it. She gets fucked in her ass, guys. No, but she wants to. She wants to. She doesn't get fucked in her ass yet. But one of the guys on that show is going to have to deliver dick in fucking ass, guys. No, but she wants to. She doesn't get fucked in her ass. But one of the guys on that show is going to have to deliver dick and fucking butthole. Oh, fantasy sweets?

Fantasy sweets. We're going to bring this thing up. We're going to bring this thing up. Anyway, I'm very proud that I stumbled upon this thing. Good for her. I liked her midway through this video. I was like, you know what? This girl, that's a keeper. She should be the Bachelorette. She's got to be the Bachelorette. I'll be honest with you, and I'm going to be honest with you.

I'm pretty sure that this is going to be a new story that's popular now, and I just want the credit for starting it. KFC did his one-minute man about it. Now I think it's going to start to blow up, because why would it not be a big story? The fucking ABC's Bachelorette takes it in the ass. Yeah. Whole. Or wants to. Wants to take it in the ass. Yeah. Oh. Or wants to.

Wants to take it in the ass. Which is almost more exciting. Which is, why is it so awesome? That's not something I like. Why is that so awesome? I too. Because here's the thing.

A rose, do they do the roses for the Bachelorette? I forget. I know Bachelor gives roses. They do roses. There's no, men don't give a fuck about a rose.

We don't give a fuck. But if that rose comes with anal, that's a rose I want. That's a rose that you want. That's a stinky rose I want. That's a rose that you want. That's a stinky rose I want. This rose has thorns. Yeah. Yeah, ribbed for no one's pleasure.

Hell yeah. But this is not news. No, it's news. I think it's kind of news. Oh, it's news. That shit is news. I don't know. You grew up in a different era, I feel like.

Okay. Everybody that didn't want to lose their virginity gets fucked in the ass. If you grew up Catholic, you get fucked in the ass a lot. So this doesn't seem weird to me. I went to school with professors that would talk about anal sex.

What? You went to Catholic school, bro. That's how they warm them up. Wait, what the fuck? Your G-spots in your asshole or whatever lies gay guys tell straight dudes is penetrating. Your G-spots in your asshole.

Do you actually believe that shit? I'm good without... I come just fine without that shit. Go on. There were girls at my school that would do like... They would have a booth outside the library and they'd do an educational day where they would do like they would have a booth outside like the library and they do like a like a educational day where they would teach like bondage and like they would like to show

you how to tie knots and shit like what school is this it's a high school is that my college oh your college that's different yeah yeah kids are weird in college you tie your girl up and then you do some activities that's brilliant actually right bondage time hello yeah bonding time we got bondage time I'm just not stunned that a girl That's on TV is talking about anal Really? Name another famous girl that's on TV talking about anal

I also don't watch any TV I hate this guy I hate this guy If you got sales This motherfucker is taking the wind out of him Call her daddy's the biggest podcast in the world. That's the new TV. That's my TV.

He just said, I'm not surprised a girl is on TV talking about anal. Yeah. And then you just said, I don't watch TV. Yeah. This guy sucks, man. So what would surprise you or what wouldn't surprise you? This guy sucks. You don't know anything about TV.

But I feel like my perception of media is like podcasts and shit. Is call her daddy? Yeah, exactly. Those are professional whore talkers. Okay? For a living. like my perception of media is like podcasts and shit is call her daddy yeah exactly those are professional whore talkers okay for a living they have to talk about being horse yeah so of course they're gonna talk about anal and sucking dicks and all that because that's the podcast an hour a week you gotta do it you're gonna get to it pretty quickly you gotta have some shit to talk about this is about finding love this show it's about finding love and embarking on a journey and

finding your person Never is it I'm gonna find my person to fuck my ass That's a good-ass point. But now we have to look at it like that. She's looking for the perfect guy to fuck her ass That's something she's considering fuck her ass good You know, I mean she's looking massive story and I don't like that You're trying to act like a little the story name one of the persons get butt fucked on TV Even the ones that get buttfucked regularly won't even admit it.

Anderson Cooper just became gay. Colton was a bachelor. Colton was a bachelor. Lying about getting buttfucked. He too probably has this post. He probably liked it. Someone go see if Colton liked this post on Katie Thurston.

You know what? LeBron's talking about Taco Tuesday. What? Go. You know what? LeBron's talking about Taco Tuesday. What? Go? You know what I mean? That could be a precursor. That could be a precursor two decades from now we find out LeBron don't do anal on Tuesdays because that's Taco Tuesday.

That's his night off. Katie Thurston said no Taco Bell that week. I'm just trying to say this is a massive story in the Bachelor, Bachelorette world girls are getting piked in their butts in their butts dude them turd cutters bro are taking cocks it's true and that is something that should be spoken about in the flagrant two podcast 100 it is weird i will, because I don't know any other Bachelorette. You don't know any other Bachelorette?

That would do that. That would take dick and butt? That would talk about it. Oh, that would talk about it. That's our whole point, Mark. But like, I'm saying in media, though. I'm like, I don't know. Like, girls just be talking about Dan Ano.

Yeah, but the whole point is just the Bachelor, Bachelorette. And to your point, which we made five minutes ago, they don't talk about this shit. All I'm saying is, this is going to be a national story and they're going to get crazy ratings and we're not going to make any money off them. We broke the fucking story. Get your credit, dog. We broke the fucking story. Get your credit, bro. Can you imagine that, bro? Can you imagine that that's just fucking happening?

How can nobody else find this? All the fucking losers watching The Bachelor doing all this fucking... You find every offensive thing anybody's ever said. Bitches at a party that was once racist or something. That's a new story. She's talking about dick and butt that's all and you and you don't even care just some good old dick and butt fun dude shit pushed in do you know what i'm saying push shit push in right come on bro yo come on there's got to be someone on that show tyler gotta come out and say yo i'm pushing too bro there's got be someone on that show Tyler gotta come out say y'all push it to

There's gotta be some guy was about that life I like this sex positive girl man, um, I am into Katie Thurston You're thirsty for thirsty. No, I like that. I got a fiance, bro. You know, I mean, I don't need some girl Just getting her fucking shit hole just torn apart Right I don't need some girl just getting her fucking shit hole just torn apart. You know what I mean? Right? No? Right? Come on, man. Come on, man.

Come on. Do you approve of her new lips? Are they new lips? I wasn't 100% certified that they weren't new, but I do like it because I think she's a pretty girl. And then a little more top lip could be helpful. And I think she filled in a little more top lip and it looks great. Yeah. But I just love the carefree cavalier attitude. Love it.

It's going to be great. Great ratings. You're welcome. Yeah. God bless this girl. I think we doubled the ratings. Yeah. Yeah.

Guys finally have a reason to watch. Facts. I'm telling you, there's stakes in it now. Who's going to fuck this girl in the ass? Who's going to get married? Guys aren't into that. Who's going to fuck this girl in the ass Who's gonna get married Guys aren't into that Who's gonna fuck this girl in the ass I think box guy

I wanna see I think box guy closed it out You think box guy closed it out Why box guy Come on His whole thing is box She's not into box She wants it in the butt

He's out of the box Yeah but he's out of the box Yeah Now he can do it You gotta watch this show bro Yeah you wouldn't get it It's too inside Sorry

It's too inside Come on You go back to Murdering people on Brooklyn streets. I just let you drown, son. You just drowned, son. Give me thumbs up forever. Son, you murdered somebody, bro forever You murdered somebody

You murdered someone bro So you pleaded the fifth is what you're saying Wow Don't help me Let him die You on your phone bro Listen somebody gotta think of someone to talk to Talk about

Okay Okay Fucking spit it I got it. I got it. Okay. Fucking spit it. Okay. Yo, now I'm starting to think you murdered somebody. Yo, I'm so defensive. I think he might have it.

I think he might have it. He's so defensive. I kind of want to see where he goes with it. So I'm on his side too. Yo, Andrew is back. Yo, Andrew is back. Thank you. The fun analyst. Nothing's better than. Yo, Andrew is back. Yeah, Andrew's back. Thank you, the fun analyst. Nothing's better than analyzing fun. Andrew is back.

Give us your color commentary on fun. Andrew, you're on your phone. We had to make some kind of comment. I was doing it. I think you're getting defensive about this murder. Okay. I think you might have been involved in some way. Okay.

Okay. I think you might be involved is it possible is it possible did you were you involved or did you know what was going on here did i i'm asking you because you won't give your line deflecting the lies and deflections are back i was with my family oh oh it's with my family i posted it seemed like a good alibi. My alibi is good. Why are you even making an alibi? Why would you even take this seriously? Why would you even take this seriously? I didn't even know about the murder to this morning.

You are a fucking murderer, bro. No, you got to confess. You got to confess, bro. Yo, you are a liar, deflector, and murderer. I know we snitched it out here, bro. Say what? I know we snitched it out here. You snitched it on yourself.

I started as a joke. I didn't think you were actually murdering people outside. I got to protect us. We got to go to the actually murdering people outside. I got to protect us. We got to go to the tapes. Dub, we have to go to the tapes. Unfortunately, Dub didn't charge his car. Yeah. But also think about this.

That's my car. The guy robbed someone's car, right? The guy, like, he jacked someone's car. That's why he killed someone? They were jacking him. They shot through the car, the Mustang. And they didn't want The Tesla at all That's what they did

They just Because they saw I didn't have the auto Drive Your guy's car sucked Because at night It's a fucking Honda Civic If you can't see that logo

It's a Honda Civic That's a Paris Accord or something It is a Honda Civic, dude. Hey, come to Kingdome. Yo, you downgraded. You had an Accord, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now you're down to a Civic.

Damn, dude. I got better gas mileage. For an Indian, that's all that matters. Well, there's no gas. Exactly. Your battery's almost dead. You get worse gas mileage. It doesn't take gas.

I got infinite miles to the gallon. No, you don't. Yeah. I'm never spending money on gas. That's massive. But that's not gas mileage. You don't get good gas mileage or bad gas mileage. You get the worst gas mileage ever.

The car doesn't take gas. I'm saving money on gas. You get horrible gas mileage. No, I get infinite. Dude, you build battery life by braking. Mmm. Wow. That didn't make me sound any better. But I save a lot of money on gas. Yeah, yeah. You heard it. I save a lot of money on gas. That didn't make me sound any better

but I saved a lot of money on gas that did not make me feel any better but I'm saving money on gas but think about that a guy is a car thief he's going around to steal people's cars and he saw your car which is now your car

and he just kept going did you tell him about there was a person sitting Did you tell him about... Bro, there was a person sitting in the... Did you tell him about the other deal that you have for the Tesla? Oh, wow. That was nice of you. Wow.

Where are you making money, Truff? Truff Truff? He has another offer. Oh, shit. You got another offer? Sometimes I have to have a backup. It's my first experience working with Indians. You got cold feet, bro.

You got cold feet. Hedging. Hedge all you want to, Doug. I'm hedging too. Hedging. Brought to you by Manscaped. Oh, that was good. That was good. I like it. I'm hedging too, Doug. I got three Tesla offers out there.

You don't even know. Three Model 3s. What's a down payment? I don't know. I haven't made that up. So think about that. All right? You talk your shit. I'll make up offers all day.

Your new Tesla's been to war. It's been battled. It's witnessed. I know. It's got the scars to prove it. Yeah. I'm gonna fucking dent in my car, dog. I can't believe it.

Honestly, God, the cop today was like, was the car shot? Have you gone around? And they had the little CSI little you should You told them they put the debt in that shit. Oh, that'd been brilliant Yeah, you're not your truffles off. You wouldn't have paid for the drop. Let's weigh it. Yeah way off. Well, come on Tell me way off. Okay. What other things do we have? Oh Chrissy Teigen apologized. Did you see her long apology? Who cares? Let's talk about it. I'm talking about i'm just put off by her at this point oh yeah i was on her side for a long time and now i'm like all right come on

that's enough i mean she went never on her side nah bro and everybody was being so hard on her because she was fucking she lost her baby and took pictures i was like you guys she lost a baby let her take some pictures i mean what the fuck are you talking about? I think you said the exact opposite thing. No, no, check the tape. Also, that's a very reasonable take though. Our guy was like, dude,

I defended this girl once. Like, I'm her biggest fan. Her kid died and people were critical of her. Yeah, that's wild. And I was like, leave her alone.

Yeah, I'm a reasonable guy. You really went out on a limb for that one. Damn. Balls of steel. You're a hero, dog.

No, for real. I'll be having hot takes. You're a hero No for real I'll be having hot takes You're a hero dude I think so Yeah I mean I'm popular side Who else have you supported

In the past I support the troops That's what's up You know what I mean Which ones I support religions Which troops Yeah yeah yeah

You don't support Other countries troops No only American troops They kind of fight us You know what I mean The American troops On Memorial Day I take very strong

You can make the argument That like You almost exclusively Don't support brown troops Damn Wow Most of the american troops on memorial day i think very strong you can make the argument that like you almost exclusively don't support brown troops damn wow most of the brown troops most of the brown troops you don't support and you support the troops that fuck them up yeah i'm fine with that that's how you feel i'm fine with that yeah what religion of us brown troops taking a tesla from a jew i support that's true all you do is this motherfucker don't care bro he don't care about his brown people you don't care about the. He don't care about his brown people. You don't care about the daisy community.

You care about a small little section of it. I don't care about a daisy community. Whoa. It's a daisy community. Oh, shit. I got you with the pronunciation. In America, pronounce it right. It's daisy.

It's the daisy community. We don't care about accents over here. Got you. You should know. You support the troops that kill accents. Yes. I can't think of anything more dissy than not supporting people who aren't my religion.

Keep on that. These guys are killing Muslim troops. That's when you throw up the arm as a Hindu. My enemy is my friend. Really? I keep it trill, dog. That keeps it trill. Are you guys the reason,

are you guys the reason why there's so much animosity and anger in the jihadist community? What do you mean? Is it your fault? I'm listening. I'm just saying, maybe you guys are causing all this jihad.

Probably. And then they take it out on us. And then they take it out on us. Tell me how. Hit it. I'm just saying. I mean, Bin Laden, where did he go when he had to hide?

Pakistan. Pakistan. Why does Pakistan exist? Because y'all hate Muslims. I'm just saying 9-11 is really Hindu's fault. Kind of Hindu's fault. It's kind of the Hindu people's fault, man. He just did the math.

Yo, that's kind of crazy. And he would have been able to do it faster if he was Chinese. I'm not telling you that much. Now I'm offended. Now I'm getting offended. You could make the argument 9-11 was really the Hindu community's fault. Yeah, but just watch your fucking mouth. For their treatment of Muslims.

Watch your fucking mouth when you talk about math. That's where you watch your mouth. I mean. 9-11 is a Hindu's fault. Math. Watch your fucking mouth. That's it. Watch your fucking mouth, buddy.

That's the breaking point. There it is. That's the breaking point. That's the breaking point. There it is. That's the breaking point. That's the breaking point. Okay. What else we got? Anything else, boys? We out of here.

Yeah. Chris, you can apologize. That's so long. I tried to look through it. It was so many. It was so many. I messaged it to you, I think, Mark. Did you look at it?

You probably know. No, then I started looking through it. It was so many. It's just page after page after page. Oh, it's written? Yeah. No,. It was just page after page after page. Oh, it's written? Yeah, no, it's text typed, page after page after page. But here's, like, you just said you wanted a girl to die. Just say, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said I wanted the girl to die.

That's it, right? How much apology do you need? It's too much, dude. I mean, come on. Hi, all. It's been a very humbling few weeks. Get to the apology bro In reality I was insecure

Immature in a world where I thought I needed to impress The strangers and then everybody caps for that Shit that's the new way to like manipulate people Is like play on your insecurity Like I'm gonna publicly Admit I'm insecure so now you'll Forgive me for all of my actions No you're still a bitch

Like just cause you were being insecure when you were being a bitch doesn't mean that you're not a bitch. If I feel insecure and then I punch you in your throat, I'm still an asshole. It doesn't make it less painful for you. But this is this new thing that like now that everybody's therapized,

like we know what's like going on in our emotions and we're like, this was the real catalyst for my actions. No, you being a cunt is the catalyst for your actions. Everybody has feelings and some people control them better. We all feel insecure at times. We all feel like shit.

I am sure millions of times have done things on this podcast because I feel insecure. I'm still an asshole for doing those things. That's what you say. You say, I'm an asshole. Not I was feeling sad and I was feeling insecure. No, you're an adult that couldn't handle their own in their own actions that's what you are you're an adult that couldn't control themselves that's what you get to be accountable for you don't get to walk off scot-free for being insecure welcome to fucking life yeah i don't know that that defense if i'm that girl and you told me to kill myself and then you go like oh man i was just really insecure about it i would not just be like oh okay yeah why don't you just marry an old man when you're 17 then?

Because you're insecure. That helped me. That made things a lot better for me. I married an old rich guy when I was insecure. Did she get the money from that? Did that girl get the money from that? I mean, she found a way. I hope so. She got some money. I don't know if she got all his money, but she got some. Respect. Hell yeah. And if she didn't, she wasn't sucking the dangle land good.

Right? Like, if you're out there and you don't have some sort of like settlement or whatever Like that you pussy ass shit If you fucking an old Ass man and he don't carve a little something out For you pussy ass shit That's like the baseball stats that's sex work I mean is it

Yeah hey god bless her Man she a sex worker And man didn't want to pay for his services That's probably on you you know i didn't do a very good job but is it sex work if we leave our wives money like if you leave your girl money is that all sex is kind of sex work if you put it like that yeah like you you opening it up open her up open her up you know i mean I'm just saying. Is it? Yeah, all sex kind of is. Is all sex sex work?

Probably. Yeah, in a roundabout way. You kind of want something from it. I don't believe in sex work. You might be doing sex work. You might be having sex. I've had sex work before. No, no.

You might be doing it. You might be a male prostitute. I'm getting paid for this? In different ways. In love, affection. We're all sex workers, bro workers We might all be sex workers I don't subscribe to that That's disgusting

That you would talk about Your women like that I'm talking about me Like that That's disgusting That you would talk about Your women like that That they would pay for sex

That your women would pay you For sex Like y'all are worth it You know If they wanted to pay for sex They could get some good dick Not y'all's virgin dicks. Don't even know how to fuck pussy.

Neither of y'all dicks. Bunch of losers. You know what I'm saying? I wish I could argue with you. I wish I had a defense. The arrogance of both of y'all. I think I might have an argument. The arrogance of both of y'all.

I might have an argument. Yeah, my girl's paying for this dick for what? No, I think she is. I think she would. Yeah. You pay for experience. It's a barter system. Bro, I have a lot of experience.

What? Regular. Three times a week. Four times a week. Five times a week. Oh, he kind of stunned right now. Six times a week. I'm not fucking got experience.

Six times a week for four years, bro? More than me. That's not bad. More than me. If you add it all up, hours wise, it might work out. Son, y'all got nothing to do, son. What the fuck are you doing? Fuck it's over.

You got work to do out here? There's no way six times a week. Six times a week. There's no way. Well, you just take off the large thing. Maybe nine. Maybe nine. Maybe ten.

I don't know how many. Ten times a week? There's no way. Double digits. Maybe double digits. Dumb doesn't deal. He doesn't say no, maybe double digits. Son, it's crazy. Dom knows the deal. He doesn't say no.

Guy's crazy. Nah, he's not a PED. Come on, motherfucker. I've been looking for an apartment for the last three weeks. That's why I can't find one, bro. Distracted. Too many tickets. That's why you don't get one.

We don't want nobody fucking in this apartment. It's got their money. My security deposit is four times my rent, dude. I can't afford this shit. I don't think so, man. I think it's cat. I think it's cat. I think it's cat, but both of y'all are arrogant. That's all I got to say after trying to make that argument.

Notice Al and I are not making that argument. I know how much my dick worth. How much it's worth? Crypto. You know what I'm saying? You might buy it for the high. That shit's going to feel awful tomorrow. All red.

Red everywhere. Red everywhere Red everywhere 100% You still buy it? Yeah You lie Nah I didn't I bought it last week

I swear to God I didn't buy nothing I know you ain't bought nothing Put $2 in or some shit like that Where's it at right now? $40 Oh it went back up Cause this motherfucking big old hedge fund guy

Said he wants 5% of his whatever in it. That's the thing about crypto. It's like whatever the big swinging dick says, then the shit jumps with it. So that's why. You just gotta hope a bunch of big swinging dicks say it. Because the whole thing is built on nothing. Tesla said he's gonna start accepting Bitcoin again. He did? Yeah. When he said that?

Pussy. Does this guy need to go to prison? That motherfucker pussy said. Oh, it's bad for the environment cock Now they all Paris Accord as found ways to mine using clean energy all like oh like he didn't know that it must be Didn't know that once you use them shingles. Do you got? Mother got shingles on the roof shingles on the roof. Yeah, Tesla Solar.

Right? Tesla Solar. You used to test the solar to mine that shit. But he came down with a case of the shingles. I've already got shingles, bro. Right? You don't got shingles?

Ain't they called shingles, bro? Yeah. I don't know if he had chickenpox or not. I don't know, but that motherfucker has shingles and you could use it.

Mine it. Use that. Do whatever you got. Bump that shit back up so I can sell it, bitch. You know what I mean? What is the day you're going to sell your coin?

The second that shit is worth more. $1 more. $1 more. Once my shit is worth $1 more. What's your average buy-in? I don't know how that works. So you don't know how you're going to sell it? I don't even know how much I spent.

I don't know how much. I won't even know when I made money. You didn't even push the button. Say what? You didn't even push the button. I didn't push the button. Yeah. Young Pumps did it.

Young Pumps. Pum-pum-pumped it up. That's what he did. He pum-pum-pumped up the value of that crypto. That's what he motherfucking did. It's unbelievable. Are we playing King or Cuck? King or Cuck.

King or Cuck is a fun game. Okay, go. All right, just to conclude, King or Cuck. King or Cuck. Okay. Apparently, the real wasabi won the best in show at the Westminster Dog Show. You saw that? Oh, shit.

King. Okay, that's King. King. All right. Christian Erickson collapses during the game. Cuck! Super cuck. But he lived later.

Yeah, but he's a cuck for collapsing after playing soccer. You need to use your hands. He's fucking running. God forbid he runs a marathon. He fucking dies on the spot. Dude, what a cuck! Alright, Joe Kidd gets a flagrant too. Cuck.

Okay. He's a king. Cuck call. He's a king, but that's a cuck call. DeSantis bans critical race theory. King, bro. I think king. He's a king, dude.

I think king. That's a king. That's ballsy. I mean, that guy is supreme, dude. He is supreme. Yeah. He is supreme, dude. Dude, he's got a whole clan.

His whole clan, dude. He's the master. His whole clan, dude. He's the master. His whole clan is supreme. He really is the master. All right. The Sun's Sweet. Huh? The Sun's Sweet.

The series. King. Yeah, King. Yeah, of course. Boris Johnson. Cuck. Fuck that motherfucker. Fuck.

Joe Biden, though. King. I'm telling you, Boris Johnson was passive aggressive. Fuck that. That's cuck shit, but also Joe Biden got cucked, but I didn't like the way that Boris Johnson was talking with his little mumbling. I hated it. That?

Son. Stuttering ass. Yeah, stop it. Cut that shit out, cuck. Kyrie Irving sprains his ankle. Cuck. Cuck. Sprain your ankle.

Fuck does that. You want a runway and fucking heels, bitch? Sprain your ankle for it. You're wearing high tops. What did you sprain your ankle for?. You're wearing high tops. Right? You're spraying your ankle for it. Like, let's go. Do you know how to jump up and land?

You never jumped in the air and land on your feet? Remember when I was out for two years? All right. Netanyahu gets ousted by Israeli parliament. Cuck. He got cucked. Cuck. Netanyahu got cucked.

How are you looking, Dove, all depressed in the chair? No, Dove's happy. Looking like I took your Tesla. Are you going to see change? Dude, cuck. He did get cucked, but it's probably for the better. It's for the best, but he got cucked. I'm sitting here saying it's for the better.

I know absolutely nothing about that. Feelings, no facts. Feelings, no facts. And the fact that he just let them oust him like that is monumental. How do you get ousted? Son, you got ousted. Literally, your wife is just getting blazed open right now It's just getting fucking blazed by some

Palestinian dude that is guy he's got cocked it. He's getting cocked some Palestinians throwing rocks and your boys Super cocks right now 100% he got cocked. That's it. That's facts all right djokovic wins the french open final he's super cool how do you lose anything in france oh gosh anything in france right now dude honestly don't even say aravata me when you when i don't even say like bon appetit dude if you're a waiter and i'm about to eat you say bon appetit i'll take the plate and i'll flip it over around the fucking plate clean this shit up

real talk okay all right camel hairs why would you throw it at him why would you just cock all right lamar odom knocked out aaron carter lamar odom king king yeah you got aaron carter king cock aaron carter cuck oh you think he's Lamar Odom knocked out Aaron Carter. Lamar Odom? King. Aaron Carter. King. Aaron Carter cuck. Oh, you think he's cuck? Aaron Carter's a cuck. I think he's king for that.

Why is he king? He got in a ring with... Got in a ring with a guy who's seven feet tall. That's king shit. That's king shit. That's king shit, bro. That's fair. All right.

Bryce Hall, TikToker gets knocked out. Cuck. Cuck. The guy that knocked him out? King. King. All right. Polo G was arrested in Miami after an album release party.

King. Wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Fake arrest. Fake arrest? Oh, you think so? Yeah, planned it. The whole thing is planned.

Why'd he get arrested, Mark? Apparently, he just got pulled over after the thing, and then he was resisting arrest. But he wasn't even driving the car. Oh, yeah. Planned. The whole thing is planned. Cock. Super cock.

Or he was just black, and a cop pulled him over and put him in jail. It's one of those things. Plant. Plant. Cock. If you want to get real arrests, there are murders downstairs. This is our life. We know what fucking shit is going on down here. Some of us better than others.

Alright, last one. New York is fucking crazy right now. Wow, yo. Motherfucker just got his shot. Nate Diaz. New York is fucking crazy right now Wow yo My back is getting shot Nate Diaz King Lastly Israel Adesanya King bro

King Cobra out here Guys have been flagrant too Don't be a cuck Be a king We'll see you next week king we'll see you next week oh also we'll see you on patreon this friday join the asshole army join the asshole

motherfucking army join the asshole army patreon.com slash flagrant2 we'll see you over there new episode every single week but you already know that peace who already know that. Peace.